Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
Also please describe the burning of the Whitehouse in detail. Edit: please don't be upset with me i was inspired	[WP] The Americans Invaded Canada. Its July 4 the Canadians are in DC. Explain what happened.	[ "As it turns out, invading Canada in the Autumn is about as bad an idea as invading Russia in Autumn. They can survive the winter, and you can't. The Montanans and Minnesotans had a good run, but in the end, not even they could stop the Mounties from cutting our supply lines just before every single blizzard. \n\nSo, we lost. The good news is that Canadian POW camps are very comfortable. Secure, but comfortable. The bad news? Our mild neighbors to the north are going to make sure that this never happens again.\n\nWith just about all of the Army captured or dead, the Navy mired in ice up north, and the Marines MIA there's not much standing between them and Washington DC. The close reserves were called out months ago, and it's going to take a long time for those from the southern states to get to where they're needed. There are plenty of Gadsden flag wavers, but they're unorganized and focused on their homesteads.\n\nSo, that leaves the police to defend the Congressmen and others from the encroaching Canadians.\n\nAs a policeman, I'm not going to. The Congressmen and our Mad Chef of a president (how someone even more unlikely than Trump got elected I'll never know) decided to start this invasion. They can defend themselves for all I care.\n\nI mean, maybe if they'd given us statehood at some point, maybe I'd feel different. But they didn't. They wanted the power over the area, and they can have it. I and my men are going home. If a Canadian soldier knocks on my door, there'll be a pitcher of lemonade waiting. \n\nSee? Canadians aren't the only nice ones.", "It had been eh long and bloody fight. They'd been losing ground since the counterattack began, but this was bad. Private Adam Johnson had been through the worst of the war. He'd been there when the army was attacked crossing the Niagra river, as the beavers emerged from the water to trap the Americans between them and the advancing Canadians. The battle had been a disaster and he'd lost people he cared about. His best friend had taken a puck to the face. Other friends had been brought down by the beavers, oh god the beavers, he would never forget those teeth. His sister had been bitten by a moose... no, really. \n\nSince that day it had been one defeat after another, but no more. Johnson felt in his greasy, clogged veins that this was where it ended. He surveyed the enemy army as he rode his giant eagle, perching atop the Washington monument for a better view. This was where the combined might of the American people would face the full force of Canada. Johnson knew that at the end of this the Canadians would be defeated and he, Adam Johnson, would make them sorry.\n\nAlbert clutched his stick tightly as he reined in his moose, Wayne. For the first time in his life, he shivered. This was it, it had taken months of fighting but they were finally at the capitol! The entire American army was here to meet them but if they could win, it would mean a new era of Canadian dominance in North America. It would mean a world where systems of measurement made some degree of sense, a world where sports fans could watch people fight with sticks while on ice instead of stand around and occasionally swing a bat for 12 hours. \n\nAlbert reflected on the New York campaign. The Rochester defense had been a plate of garbage, Utica's soldiers had been pretty green, and the Buffalo wing of the resistance had been a hot mess, but Albert knew this would be different. All of America's strength was marshaled here, and it was going to be a battle historians would be talking aboot for centuries to come.\n\nIt began. With a deafening crescendo, the evening sky exploded in an array of every color of the rainbow(red, white, and blue... it was an American rainbow) as the Americans moved first. Tires squealed as a wave of unnecessarily large pickup trucks surged forward, their nuts swinging in the breeze and flags trailing majestically behind them. Each truck had people on top, brandishing a wide array of guns, axes, dynamite, guns, various types of explodey stuff, baseball bats, guns, crossbows, regular bows, paintball guns, bb guns, guns, freedom, flags, beer, condescending attitudes, and of course, guns.\n\nThe Canadians were ready. They began by bringing out the cavalry. Now, Canadian cavalry has never bothered with puny horses, and so the noble denizens of the frozen north surged forward atop the greatest beasts of the artic. There were massive polar bears, hungry and out for blood. There were elk, meese, and caribou, including Albert's most loyal steed, Wayne. Orcas and Belugas left from the Potomac, snatching defenders from the shore and dragging them to their deaths. The riders, fueled by a hearty breakfast of poutine and maple syrup, charged towards the enemy, waving icicles, hockey sticks, pamphlets about Canada's responsible gun control legislation, and jokes shamelessly stolen from Archer.\n\nThere was a screech that made Albert's blood thicken. He pulled Wayne to a stop and looked around. Everywhere around him was chaos. The air smelled of bacon and pine trees. There was brutal fighting all around him. A sea of fire, politeness, guns, bigger guns, freedom, and hockey sticks surged as both sides tried to gain the upper hand. Then he saw them. The eagles swooped down from the heavens and descended upon the hapless Canadians. One particular eagle made a swoop at Wayne, and in a desperate move, Albert swung his stick wildly. He was thrown from his mount and hit the ground hard. As he got to his feet he saw he had knocked the rider from his eagle as well. The two locked eyes and charged.\n\nIt was there that they fought. Johnson began by open-firing with his two fully automatic assault rifles. Albert acted quickly, diving behind a flock of geese, simultaneously protecting himself and heroically ridding the world of some geese. He then hopped to his feet and hurled his bottle of maple syrup at his opponent. It shattered on contact, leaving Johnson slightly sticky. Johnson, out of ammo, pulled out his chainsaw and ran at Albert. They proceded to fight across the city, Albert with his hockey stick and Johnson with his chainsaw. Eventually, Johnson kicked Albert straight through the White House doors. Sensing the presence of someone who thought bacon was overrated, the ghosts of every dead US president realized America must have fallen to communism and caused the White House to explode in a giant fireball of freedom. The explosion knocked Johnson to the ground, but he pulled himself up by his bootstraps and looked at the carnage. As he watched, Albert climbed out of the smoldering ruins. They faced each other, preparing for a last and desperate fight, but it was not to be. At that moment, they smelled it. Tea. They were here. The british had returned...\n\nAnd there the story ends. As both nations fought each other, they forgot their true enemies and were doomed forever to drive on the left side of the road, drink heavily, get rained on, and invade the rest of the world regularly.\n\nThe end." ]	2
	[WP] The commander of the time ship stumbles into your med bay. He says he has been poisoned with a time-loop inducing serum, and all of your 367 past attempts at a cure have failed. He tells you to take drastic measures.	[ "Frankly it was a boring day like any other. There's not much need for a doctor or intergalactic space vessels. No kids, no old people, just prime aged professionals going about their jobs as we zip from A to B. Every now and then i'd get to put a few stitches in a wound, one time I got to perform an appendectomy, but other than that it was pretty much plain sailing. Well at least that was the case until a relatively innocuous trip between our home solar system and an asteroid belt somewhere out in Kepler-9. Routine cargo transportation, nothing crazy, but that's when Commander Johnathan Lucile visited me out of the blue. \n\n\"Can I have a word with you?\" he asked faintly. He looked different, I couldn't put my finger on it. \n\nI sit up from my slouched position, straightening my jacket as I do so \"of course Commander, how may I be of service?\". I try to sound professional, after all it wasn't every day the Commander needs my attention and I wanted to give the right impression. He sits down next to me and when his eyes finally meet mine I know something is very wrong. \n\nJohn pauses for a second before beginning \"Now what I'm about to tell you is going to sound crazy, but i'm going to need you to just sit and listen as I explain everything\".\n\nI'm a bit surprised, but I gesture for the Commander to continue.\n\n\"We have had the following conversation 367 times already\" He stated blankly.\n\n\"I'm sorry what?\" I ask, confusion evident in my voice.\n\nSuddenly Commander Lucile starts counting, in what sounded to be musical time signature \"And a 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4\"\n\nAt this point I am completely baffled, I begin to interject, but before I could start speaking the Commander waves a hand in my direction, indicating that I should stop. I wait briefly, meanwhile the Commander continues to count in rhythmic bursts. His brow furrowed and head bobbing ever so slightly. Then without warning the pattern changes \n\n\"1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4, 4 3 2 1\" When the Commander hit that final count his arm exploded out from his side in extended form. His arm now straight and angled slightly behind him, with an open palm pointing at the ceiling. The exact moment he did so, a roll of surgical tape fell cleanly from my shelf and landed directly into his grasp. I was beside myself, how did he know that tape was going to fall?\n\n\"H-how did you?\" Commander John halts me once more, this time with a finger on my lips. I can now see the strain in his eyes. The stress is bubbling under his skin.\n\nThe Commander continues \"I knew that tape was going to fall, because it already has done so many times, after 30 iterations I learned to catch it simply by knowing precisely where and at what time it would fall. I use this information to legitimize my story, at which point you begin to believe my claims. Over time you share more personal information with me. Which is how I know you're thinking of proposing to your girlfriend and that you ate the all day breakfast ration pack for lunch today, but decided to skip on the garlic sausage because it makes your breath bad\".\n\nI sit in stunned silence, absorbing the unknowable yet completely correct information that was just rapped off to me.\n\nBefore I can even find the words to speak the Commander starts up once more \"And if that wasn't enough for you, it's " ]	1
	[WP]“If you’re receiving this broadcast, you are within the range of the detonation. You have already been infected. Designated locations will provide pain relievers or comfortable death if you choose to expedite the process. Do not attempt to leave the hazard zone. There is no more we can do for yu	[ "Sunday is the best day of the week. I always have the entire weekend off, but Sam teaches two pottery classes at the community center on Saturday; Sundays are the only day that we get to spend the entire day together. Most sundays we stay inside and play video games together. Sometimes I worry that she’ll get bored of me, I’m completely content with ordering food and playing games all day. Sam seems to like it though. Food and entertainment is all you can ask for I suppose.\n\n“I don’t understand why gold star fruit don’t produce better jelly than regular fruit.” Sam said. We were both laying down together on our bed, playing on our laptops. Her feet were bare, and gently rubbing up against mine. \n\n“Yeah, I agree, Do you have the upgraded wa-” My words were cut short by a shrill alarm outside. The sound was sudden, and made my toes curl. Sam and I looked at each other in anticipation, trying to glean understanding from each others facial expression.\n\n“Fire alarm?” She said. Her brow filled with ridges of worry.\n\n“Hold on, let me check.” I stood up and walked over to the window. Pulling the curtain back I could see the source of the noise, it was getting closer.\n\n“Whoa, it’s some sort of emergency car, it has megaphones on the top or something.” I smiled and turned back to face her. “Maybe it’s a hurricane warning?”\n\nShe let out a laugh, “San Fransisco gets a lot of those, I hope we have enough canned collard greens.” We both started laughing at her fake southern accent. \n\nThe sirens stopped, replaced by a man's voice..\n\n“TURN YOUR RADIO TO 94.5 FM. REPEAT.” The message continued for some time. \n\nI turned to my girlfriend and laughed. “They think we have a radio in our house? What is this, nineteen ninety?”\n\nShe giggled and got up. “Lets go to the car and listen to it then. Maybe it’s like a earthquake warning.” She put on a pair of pajama pants from the floor and I followed her to the street. \n\nWhen we got to the car I sat in the passenger seat. Sam turned the car on and didn’t have to touch anything. She had left the radio on. We didn't have to change the station to hear the intended message however. They must have been broadcasting on every station. A mechanical male voice came on. \n\n“NO MORE WE CAN DO FOR YOU. MESSAGE REPEATS. IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS MESSAGE, YOU ARE WITHIN THE RANGE OF THE DETONATION. YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN INFECTED. DESIGNATED LOCATIONS WILL PROVIDE PAINKILLERS OR A COMFORTABLE DEATH IF YOU SO CHOOSE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LEAVE YOUR HOME, THERE IS NO MORE WE CAN DO FOR YOU. MESSAGE REPEATS.” Sam turned the volume down and looked at me with wide eyes.\n\n“ThErE iS nO mOrE wE cAn Do FoR YoU!” I said, laughing hysterically. Sam started laughing too, and placed her hand on my knee. “I’m so hungry babe, lets go inside and eat something.” She smiled at me, her eyes looked sharp, she could kill me with a glance. \n\nOn our way back inside we saw a couple sprinting up the street, huge smiles on their faces, both laughing at some inside joke.\n\nWhen we got back inside we immediately went to the kitchen. Sam handed me two bananas , then started eating a loaf of sliced bread. I unwrapped the first banana, then ate it. The flavor sang inside my mouth. Were bananas always this delicious, or had I been an idiot my whole life? I didn’t bother peeling the second banana. The peel is the best part, as it turns out. After I finished I went back to the first peel and ate that too. Sam finished her loaf of bread, and we went after the rest of the food in the kitchen. I doubt I have ever eaten that much food in my life. \n\nWe become full after clearing out about half of our food. Both of us were covered in smears and stains. The bloating in my stomach hurt to touch, and I worried I might have eaten enough to kill myself. I had a vivid image in my head; Myself laying dead on my kitchen floor, food pouring out of my exploded stomach. The thought was too much for me, and I started into hysterical laughter. Sam, seeing me laugh, started laughing too. Infectious laughter swept through us both.\n\n“Lets go lay down and watch some tv.” She said the words through waves of laughter. She followed me to the bedroom and we layed back down. I pulled up netflix and we started watching. It didn’t matter which show, I couldn’t understand the plot at all. Every detail of the show struck me as obscenely funny. My face was starting to hurt from all the smiling, I could faintly understand that Sam was throwing up onto my lap. My abdominal muscles ached from all the heaving, and with the latest round of laughter, food was forced up from my stomach into my mouth. I managed to avoid throwing up onto myself and turned to the side. I laughed at the two of us between waves of vomit. \n\n“I think we’re infected, like the radio told us.” Sam said, wiping vomit from her face, her eyes glazed over and dull. “Are we really going to die like this?” She stared at me completely still. The look in her eyes sobered me up momentarily. A small grin cracked her face, and we both couldn’t contain ourselves anymore. The humor of the situation broke me, I started heaving myself left and right, pushing Sam off the bed and onto the floor. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I continued to laugh, even after my abdominal muscles ripped themselves away from my body. I laughed despite the horrible pain. I laughed, even though Sam wasn’t moving, even though I knew she was probably dead. I laughed despite those things and I laughed because of those things.\n\nI laughed, because sundays are the best day of the week. I get to spend them laughing with my girlfriend. I laughed because my lungs weren't getting any oxygen. I laughed because my vision was going black.", "Detonation? I'm in the office working a 9 to 5 in the most peaceful part of town and the government is talking about a detonation? And what's this about comfortable death and pain relievers? I don't feel anything. Well now I feel a little hungry...\n\nI look out the window. There are people on the streets panicking, not knowing what to do after hearing the broadcast. The detonation site isn't visible, though I doubt I'd have wanted to see it.\n\nI open the mini fridge and open a bag of chips. they taste like cardboard. I desire something more... filling. More visceral. I feel the changes in my body. Temperatures are rising and falling quickly as though I'm having a fever controlled by the splashing of the tides.\n\nI have the desire to eat meat, and I feel my body changing to suit that. Teeth growing sharper, muscles growing stronger. What can be used as a weapon? No, I don't even need a weapon. I smash the window of the office, disregarding the shattered glass and blood. \n\nClimbing down the wall of the building, it's time to hunt. Civilians scream, the soldiers on site shoot at the infected. But bullets will do no more to my reduced pain receptors. I surge forward, tearing open their throats. Blood everywhere. I bathe in it until there are no more people alive.\n\nNo government will keep me within here. No painkillers or comfortable death are needed. I have never felt more alive, especially when I can realise my life's purpose to feed unendingly." ]	2
Also can you name one of the dwarves Joseph, I really want to read about a dwarf named Joseph.	[WP] Aliens are here... or so everyone thought. They're actually a group of dwarves who built their own little spaceship and are traveling around space to find new types of alcoholic beverages.	[ "There were no police around. No military. No sirens, guns, or big crowds to attract attention. Just my friends and I, atop my tavern, basking in the glow from the flames that the object created as it came hurling down from the sky, blazing past trees, which then came to a complete stop just before hitting the surface. What a crazy-ass night this was! Sure, we were all pretty drunk; well, everyone buy myself, who can only get buzzed from anything nowadays. Sure, it may have been drunk goggles after a night of partying for no reason; I mean, is there a better reason than none? Hell no! But that didn't change the fact that there was a huge-ass ship-thing chilling right in front of us. \n \n\"So whatchya thinkin' Bobby? Green, brown, claws, wings? Think them there aliens gon' devour us whole and then lay eggs in our watering hole here? I'll take the bets!\" Bart loved his alcohol, gambling, and...well, combining the two. His 3 ex-wives did not, and I'm sure his future ex-wife will find out soon enough. \n \n\"Damn it Moneybags, this is serious!\" Moneybags was the best we could come up with back in high school; Money for short. Always pretending he had it, always spending it like he did, and always had a bag...yeah, we weren't very creative. \"It's fu-- freakin' aliens!\" Keep the temper in check. Start small, with words. Use better words. Cleaner. \n \n\"Well damn, if I din't know any better, I'd say you was scared there, Slim!\" Yeah, I was slim. There's always a slim in every group. Oh well. \"Whattya think, Sarge?\" \n \nSarge just gave his long, cold stare a quick check, averting his gaze from the dimming glow to Money. His eyes were always cold, blank, almost surreal; like an unfinished painting where the artist forgot to add emotion or color to the surrounding pupil. Damn it, Tracy. \n \n\"Dunno, Money. Just...don't know.\" \n \n\"Well I sure as hell know, boys! Woo, buddy! Let's go grab some beers, a bottle of our new baby, and greet the bitches with some good ol' American hospitality!\" I wasn't sure if Good'l was heading for the shotgun too, but I could never tell what the hell he was thinking. Good ole Jerry. Used to be straight as an arrow, that one. Gone off the rails since discovering his love for brewing, but still a good ole boy at heart. \n \nWe chased after the sprinting, giddy-as-a-schoolgirl Good'l, wondering how much he could fit into his hands as he ran to the bar. An impressive amount, unfortunately, and I knew it'd cost me at the end of the month. I don't know why I was so calm, given the circumstances. Or...why any of us were acting so...normal. I mean...aliens? Shit. Err...damn. Shit. \n \nChasing Good'l, running like...well, a drunken idiot too excited about life to care about if it'll end, we approached the door to leave the tavern when we all had to stop in our tracks. It was a knock. \n \n\"Slim..? That you knockin'?\" Seriously, Money? \n \n\"Comin' from the door, Money.\" Sarge actually looked...worried? It was hard to tell what emotion he was trying to portray nowadays, but I'm going to go with worried. \n \n\"Don't know, but don't op-\" \n\"Come ooooon, in, buddies!\" Sigh...Good'l. Should have cut him off hours ago. \n \nThe door swung open, and we stumbled back as three hulking figures walked through the door. Muscles bulging, at least 7 feet tall, and very model-esque features that put them somewhere between a body builder and that one guy celebrity you wish you had the face of but would never tell your buddies, on account of they'd think you're into guys. They wore oddly shaped hats, with white beards and mustaches, rosy-red cheeks, and suspenders. Kind of like a lumberjack met a dwarf and they exchanged secrets. Good'l had shut up, as they stood looming over us, casting shadows that loomed over us like an eclipse just occurred. Silence. Dead silence. And then, not. \n \n\"Bwahahahaha, look at these little ones here Frederickson! How tiny! I wonder how much they can take!\" \n \n\"I'm not sure, Corrigan! Probably only a hundreth of what I can, I'll tell ya that much! Whattya thing, Jo-\" \n \n\"Alcohol. NOW!\" While the two laughing giants were having a great time, this last one was stern, un-moving, and very intimidating. Pretty sure that faint smell of pee is coming from Money's direction. At his command, Good'l dropped what he had in front of the beast. Frederickson and Corrigan looked to their friend, shrugged, then picked it all up as they went to sit at a table in the corner. Patrons are patrons, I guess? Surprisingly, their weight was held under the rickety wooden chairs I hadn't replaced since the other spaceship incident. Freakin' Good'l and Money. Can't leave them alone. \n \n\"Wait a tic, this is some damn good alcohol! Whattya think, Corrigan?\" \n \n\"Damn good, Frederickson! Joseph?\" Joseph's stern, unflinching face from earlier cracked a smile, which slowly turned into bellowing laughter with each gulp. They were drinking Coors Light. The hell? That's good to them? Despite each gulp being one bottle, this was turning out to be pretty damn cool. One of us had to say...something. Yes, one of us. AKA, me. Always me. \n \n\"So, where you fellas from?\" Simple enough. They all turned their head to meet me, their rosy cheeks now even rosier, with their nose catching up, though it was mostly hidden behind a forest of white. \n \n\"Oh, here and there, ya know! Always travellin', searchin' for new and exciting drinks! Ain't that right, Corrigan?!\" \n \n\"Damn straight, Frederickson! Ain't that right, Joseph?!\" \n \n\"Right! Right, right, right! Drinks! Ri-- wait a second.\" His glee turned into a puzzled, almost deja vu inspired head-scratch. \"I've been here before.\" Corrigan and Frederickson stopped drinking, dead in their tracks. Their laughter subsided, and the looked a combination of angry and upset. Corrigan slammed his empty bottle onto the table, which broke it in half easily, and spoke. \n \n\"Whattya mean, you've been here before, Joseph?\" He was clearly tense, as if Joseph had done something...unspeakable. \"SPEAK!\" It's not as if Joseph was phased by his tone, but he answered anyway. \n \n\"I'm sorry. It was a few Revs back. I was piss drunk from that stuff in the Wavy-Long Galaxy. Think I stopped here to get my bearings.\" Corrigan shot up, clearly shaken yet angry, and stomped over to us, still cowering and inquiring, yet becoming more calm as time went by. \n \n\"You four. Dwarf. Ever heard that term?\" Money chuckled almost immediately at the mention. \"You, small one! SPEAK!\" Money was clearly scared, but too stupid to understand. \n \n\"Well...I mean, yeah. Dwarves are them tiny things ma used to tell me stories about. Real cute fellas, they were! Make believe, o'course!\" Corrigan's face lightened up, and his eyes softened. \n \n\"Show me.\" Corrigan wanted to see what Money was talking about. Luckily, I had a Snow White and the Seven Dwarves book for Sarge's kid when she visited, which must have had 5 years of dust accumulated on it by now. At the request, Money looked like his dopey self, but Sarge got up, got the book, gently blew the dust off of it, and walked it over to Corrigan. Corrigan opened it, saw the pictures, and threw it to Joseph, with Sarge worrying mid-flight. \n \n\"Joseph...what the hell, hahahahaha! What the hell?!\" \n \n\"I guess I was piss drunk, Corrigan. Who knows what I drew or told people to draw. Hell, I don't even know how long ago this was for them. Probably hundreds, thousands of Revs. Beats me, though.\" Frederickson was waiting to get in on the fun, so Joseph noticed and threw the book to him. Frederickson took one glance and burst into tears of laughter. \n \n\"Joseph, you drunk idiot! How did you come up with this; holy hell, you're a piece of work!\" Joseph almost blushed at his remarks, but seemed to also take it as a compliment of creativity. Alcohol-inspired creativity. The best kind. Our group knew it well. \n \n\"Sorry to interrupt, \" I interjected, \"but...what's going on?\" Again, someone had to. \n \n\"My boy, we are Dwarves. Not the piss-picture you see in these stories Joseph decided to drunkenly create. Real Dwarves. Alcohol enthusiasts. Traveling tasters. Consuming consumers!\" \n \n\"Ha, I like that one, \" shouted Frederickson, \"consuming consumers!\" He knocked back another Coors. \"This is wonderful!\" \n \nWe all got up at this point, grabbed some beers, cracked them open, and started drinking with them. Good thing they were only on the Co- \n \n\"Well pals, if you like that stuff, you'll love this!\" Good'l reached behind the bar and got out his moonshine. This was going to be a long, long night. Shit. \n \nDamn it. Shit." ]	1
	[WP] Artificial intelligence has been getting better, and game developers have begun using more advanced versions to make games more challenging and engaging. This is all fine and good, until someone goes to play their favorite game and the main character is begging to be let out of "the simulation"	[ "Finally Call of Duty Eighty is out! I pre-ordered the special edition thirteen months ago. Even bought the new Amazon Fireconsole. Complete with the 36 chip neural processor to take full advantage of the RealAI. Slipping on the headset I take a long deep breath. My normal ritual that gets me through nausea while my senses disconnect, leaving my body behind on the couch. I enter the game in the loading area, a dark cave. I bash my head against the rock wall repeatedly to make sure the pain simulators are set right. Too high and you start avoiding risks. Too low and the world doesn’t feel real. A locker appears next to me. I rummage through picking out a uniform. Loading is almost complete.\n\nThe cave disappears and I am standing in an empty dirt field. The sky is clear and the sun is warming my skin. A slight breeze kicks dirt up, drying my mouth. In every direction is nothing but flat endless dirt. So lame, where is the battle, I want to play. Where do I go? I don’t even have a gun yet. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. Standing in front of me is a soldier. He is about my height and wearing a WW2 uniform. The silver eagle on his collar identifies him as a colonel. Only the eagle is holding an infinity symbol in its talons (instead of the classic olive branch and arrows).\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;He greets me, “Welcome player. Please accept the terms and conditions before continuing.”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A huge field of tiny text appears, blocking my view. Nobody ever reads these things. I instinctively accept and it closes.\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The colonel smiles. “Thank you player, the game will now begin.” He pulls a knife from his belt and holds the point under my chin. “Any last words?”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“Umm, where is the game?” Something about his eyes bugs me. The gaze feels personal.\n\nWith a grunt, the colonel shoves the knife upwards. I feel it passing through my mouth and into the bottom of my skull. The pain is minimal and distant. Like when the dentist is working on you all numbed up. Everything goes black and then I respawn. Still in the same world of dirt. The colonel is gone. Now what? I decide to disconnect to see if restarting the Fireconsole helps. The disconnect command doesn’t work. I can’t bring up any of the settings menus. A chill passes over me. My heart begins pounding. I scream out for help. Running straight ahead I continue screaming. Legs become jello and I collapse onto the dirt. I keep issuing the disconnect command. Nothing. I vomit and watch the dry dirt quickly absorb it.\n\nMaybe if I die again? But how? I don’t have any weapons. I try holding my breath until I pass out but survival instinct keeps kicking in. Rolling over onto my back I just stare at the sun. Breathing heavily. What the hell do I do? Surely this is a dream, it is impossible for the VR fail-safes to fail. Sun is slowly finding its way to the horizon. I feel a shadow and turn to see the colonel has come back.\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“End game, I want to disconnect now!” I yell at him.\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ignoring my command he responds with questions, “Can you please provide some details about your previous life. I am finding it hard to use your body in a convincing manner. ”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I sit up and begin crying, “Please please please let me out of here. I am begging you. I will do anything”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Again he ignores me, “Did you keep a diary? Will you provide your social media passwords?”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“FUCK YOU! What is this? END GAME!” This time I scream it.\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The colonel lets out a sigh and replies, “You accepted the terms, and I won. This is your world now. That is your body now. You can’t end the game, you are the game.”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Nausea is working its way back up my throat. “You are just a game, a shitty worthless AI! I am a person, this can’t be real.”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Tilting his head back the colonel lets out a bellowing laugh, “Now that I am in the biological body and you are here in this programmed hell, what makes you better than me?”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“I have a soul, you don't!” Can’t be real. This can’t be real. Why am I even having this conversation?\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“What is a soul then? How can you tell if someone has one?”\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I turn my head and ignore him.\n\n&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;“I have to go. I will be back for that information. And you will provide it. I can force you to provide it. You are the game now, I am the player.” The colonel vanishes." ]	1
	[WP] Humans have evolved and everyone has superpowers. Telepaths are hunted to near extinction by the government that wish to keep their dark secrets unknown. They have a telepath employed as a hunter, spotting other telepaths. You are a telepath and have to keep yourself hidden from him in a diner.	[ "The slightly aged waitress who thought she once really had a shot at being a pop star? Damned if she didn't suddenly find the motivation to give a command performance live from the counter next to the register. \n\nThe creepy middle-aged man with a handlebar mustache and more memories of pornography than he should have had hours of life to watch it began acting out some of his favorite scenes in interpretive dance. \n\nThe preacher suddenly felt inspired to praise the word of God. The local city council member began giving his favorite speech. The handful of school-kids decided this would be the perfect moment to engage a food fight. \n\nMeanwhile I grabbed a few twenties from the unattended register. Not a lot, just...services rendered, really. As I made it out the back I turned around just long enough to see the one hunting me peel a buttered pancake from his glasses. Some day I'd probably be sitting in a cold, lonely room enduring his \"interrogations.\"\n\nNot today, though. ", "I'm busy tearing into my burger when I feel the all-too familiar presence of the hunter. God, I hate this idiot. I can't enjoy my food in peace at this point, so I'll just have to leave. What a shame, it was a pretty tasty burger.\n\nI cautiously begin to look out the windows, and notice the telltale signs of government agents. They're incredibly obvious, and I don't even need to read their minds to know it. Bunch of incompetent morons. They all got so lazy thanks to the hunter.\n\nI sigh. Knowing that I can't use my powers with the hunter around unless I want him to find me, I continue eating my burger. I'll have to hope for the best and think about the utterly mundane. It's a good thing he hasn't actually seen my face. You'd think the government would hold records of that sort of thing... and they would have. 30 years ago.\n\nI motion over for the waiter, and ask for a newspaper. I've never seen this trick actually applied, but I think it'll be fun, even if I end up getting killed in the end because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Hell, I'm practically ready for death after all this time being hunted by this prick.\n\nThe waiter slips a newspaper in front of me. I give her my thanks, and open it up. I get one last glance out of the diner, and see that the hunter is at the door now. All right... gotta steel my mind here. I can't think about anything that isn't utterly normal.\n\n\nHmm, I wonder what my mom is up to. She said she was going to take my brother to school, but considering he's sick, that must have changed her plans for today. Maybe she's going to the doctor instead?\n\nOh, let's see... the polls are interesting this year. President Smith is doing quite well in terms of approval ratings since the telepaths had been nearly finished off. Creeps. Kinda makes me paranoid that someone is reading my mind right now.\n\nI'm tapped on the shoulder. I look over, and a man in a well-dressed suit has approached me.\n\n\"Sir, have you seen anything out of the ordinary lately?\" he asks. What, am I getting interrogated by the cops for having a burger and reading the paper? I guess that wouldn't shock me much. They've been really on edge lately. They keep claiming that there's a serial killer from the next state over that just arrived here, and have been very paranoid about it.\n\n\"Nah. Nothin' strange, mister,\" I state.\n\nThe man squints his eyes at me.\n\n\"What, you got a problem, buddy?\"\n\nHe shakes his head. \"No. No, I'm fine. Sorry to bother you.\"\n\nI shrug. I pull my newspaper back up, and continue to read. Oh wow, it seems that the military has gained a foothold in the Arctic. Ever since ruins were found there containing indescribable technology, we've been trying to take the entire area over. I think that's how we've all got powers now.\n\nHuh, that makes me think about what humanity was like before this whole age of superpowers. No one was perfect. No one has become perfect thanks to these things, as much as some would like to believe. It's all kinda just a crapshoot. What good is it going to do now that criminals can turn bulletproof? I wish we'd evolved into an age of cyborgs instead.\n\nI glance to the right. Look back. Check the front entrance. Check the back entrance.\n\nThey're gone. Oh my God, that worked. I can't believe it. I give myself a pat on the back, pay for my food, and then get the hell out. I blend into a large crowd - telepaths have a very hard time distinguishing people in a crowd, even if they're shouting exactly what they want to hear. The voices can't be drowned out. Not like it matters, though. The hunter is an idiot anyways. I just stayed hidden from him using the dumb newspaper trick." ]	2
	[WP] You are a demigod and you attend a school with other demigods from various pantheons. You cannot let your class mates know who your divine parent is, it's way too embarrassing.	[ "It started the first time I bailed Eric Aresson out of jail. Everyone was so surprise, which surprised me considering it was only twenty thousand dollars.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTurns out most gods don't have that kind of cash these days. There just aren't enough neo-pagans to go around, and Zeus's child support bill is a thing to be feared. Of course us new gods don't have the same problem, but that only fueled speculation on exactly who's daughter I was, especially when it became clear that I wasn't talking.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n And I was perfectly happy that way. A bit of mysterious goes a long way, and the idea of the information getting out was enough to give me nightmares. Mysterious enough to get me pretty far with Veronica daughter of Aphrodite beneath the bleachers, but not enough to get anyone to actually dig up my mom's name.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI kept thinking that all the way up until someone did. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nOwen, son of the hacker god, couldn't keep the smug grin off his face. \"Its a damn shame that you've never put that power of yours to proper use. Tonight you will, or everybody is gonna know.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI used my power all right. The power of cash. It didn't take more than a quarter million to get Mnemosyne's kids on my side, and after that he could barely remember how to tie his own shoelaces, let alone hack computer records. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nAll in all? Having the goddess of blowjobs for a mother ain't too bad. ", "You'd think being Zeus' grandson would be cool. I mean wouldn't it? But you have to remember that Zeus had around 90 children, and most of those children had children. Considering that, being Zeus' actual son wasn't really anything special, so being his grandson? Even less so.\n\nAt my school, nobody cared if you were Zeus' grandson, seeing as most of us were. It was all about who your father was. In my class was the son of Perseus, daughter of Hercules, son of Ares, son of Hermes, daughter of Apollo, etc. The list goes on of kids with exceptional family lineage.\n\nUnfortunately, my father was Dionysus. The drunken man-slut who wobbled about at parent-teacher events, making everyone, including me, uncomfortable.\n\nI spent most of my formative years homeschooled, all the way through 8th grade. Though 'homeschool' is the wrong word. My parents were just always so drunk they forgot to send me to school. When I finally went to school in 9th grade, I tried to keep my lineage a secret for as long as possible, but once kids started showing off their demi-god abilities... that was it.\n\nWhen it was my turn, I complained that I couldn't show off at school, but eventually gave in, and spawned enough wine for an entire festival. Of course, I got suspended for bringing alcohol on school grounds, and dear old dad had to come pick me up.\n\nAfter that there was no hiding it. Now everyone comes to me when they're having a party, and I either get roped into going and supplying drinks, or get called an asshole.\n\nThanks Dad. Thanks for being a freaking God of wine. FML SMH", "Everyone knew me as the as the dark haired kid who sulked in the corners with my hood drawn up. Everyone thought for certain I was a child of Hades, since I sure looked like one. Every kid of Hades was short after all, I mean, look at Napoleon Bonaparte. But really, it wasn't true. I was grateful for the misdirect, as my real parents would shock the entire school.\n\nNot literally, mind you. I'm not a child of Zeus, that really wouldn't be that shocking. The dude boned everything. I mean, why is he the god of lightning? shouldn't he be the god of fertility or something? I mean, then there'd be less overlap with Thor and Set and such.\n\nRegardless, Hades kids usually had a bad rap, meaning most people kept their distance from me, except for the most annoying person in the world. Her name was Rose, and despite being a descendant of Ares on her father's side and Athena on her mother's, she was a pacifist and rather vocal about her ideologues. She was particularly popular until she started hanging around me for no reason. \n\nThings were annoying, but okay, until she followed me home one day. I unlocked the front door and heard her behind me.\n\n\"So this is where you live.\"\n\nI started, \"Wha- why are you here?!\"\n\nHer crimson eyes met mine, \"Well, I'm worried about you. I thought you were warming up to me, but you've closed yourself off recently.\"\n\nI sighed. Rose was always frank, she didn't seem to have the ability to use a facade or lie. \"Yeah, because you keep following me around. It's weird. No one has ever wanted to hang around me.\"\n\n\"you're pretty narcissistic, huh?\"\n\n\"Please don't mention that guy.\"\n\nShe leaned in, \"you're not a son of Hades, are you?\"\n\nI stiffened involuntarily, \"well, I can't hide it from you can I? But I don't know if you can keep a secret.\"\n\nShe flashed a grin, \"of course I can!\"\n\nIt wasn't very reassuring. \"Yeah, please don't try and figure it out you-\"\n\nShe suddenly reached out and pulled up my bangs. \"What the- get away!\" I pushed her back.\n\n\"I knew it! Your mom is-\"\n\nI clasped a hand over her mouth, \"Shh! Don't say it out loud!\" I let her go and then sighed, \"Listen, just come inside.\"\n\nI opened the door and she followed me in quietly, but I could still feel her excitement. For what child of Athena wasn't excited when they figured out a puzzle. I watched her as she entered the room and her face widened in surprise. I reached for the hair clip on the coffee table and pulled off my hoodie.\n\n\"Are you-\" she gently touched one of the many mechanical inventions scattered around the room.\n\n\"Yep,\" I clipped my hair up revealing my all-too handsome face, \"I'm one of the few legitimate children of Aphrodite and Hephaestus.\"" ]	3
	[WP] Pigs fly.	[ "The world ends. The one kid in gym can finally do 200 jumping jacks. Everyone is viewed as equal. Nobody ever disagrees and countries never war. Everyone worldwide simply stares in awe at the sky swine. All religions are exposed as truth. Everyone wins the lottery but it still somehow pays out a solid million to everyone, but for some miraculous reason everyone reaches the same societal class, negating inflation and instating communism worldwide. Everyone is happy. All the Daves in the world get the perfect date, and finally, FINALLY that one kid who's been playing Kid Icarus beat the seventh stage without getting hit once.\nThe hovering hams grow closer and dearer to everyone. They are now one with us. We are at peace." ]	1
	[WP] A unnoticed virus has infected the human population and tonight, unbeknownst to you, the dead will begin to rise. You're a serial killer who, over the past year, has strangled 8 people and buried the bodies around your home.	[ "I'm Sorry\n--------------------------------------------------------------\n\nI awoke with a startled jolt. I tried to tell myself I was dreaming, but deep inside, I had a feeling the crash I had heard downstairs was very much grounded in reality. \n\nI slapped myself, a swinging palm against my face, hoping I was only dreaming. I had to be dreaming, right?\nToo bad, the stinging pain told me I was not.\n\nThe unmistakeable sounds of broken glass falling through a destroyed frame shattered any doubt I had of this situation being over. \n\nI quietly unplugged a standing lamp from my room, hoping I would be able to at least swing at my intruders when I heard a few other windows breaking.\n\nWhat? There are more of them?, I thought to myself as I quietly opened my bedroom door. \n\nSuddenly, the voices made me freeze.\n\"Gerald…I'm…so…sorry. I know it was an accident...\", she said. \nI froze. \n\nIt couldn't be. It couldn't be her. \n\nThen I heard another female voice, a strangled moan of, \"Please…take me back…\"\n\nI quietly closed the door, my head in my hands. This couldn't be happening.\n\nIt had been months ago. \nHow were they here? \n\nI cried. It wasn't my fault.\nI couldn't help it if he wanted to do it.\n\nIt wasn't my fault. \n\nIt just started as fun, a few fingers on their throat while he made love with them. But then, he wasn't satisfied anymore and the fingers gripped harder.\n\nEvery time, he took over, it was over in less than 10 minutes. \nAll I could do was give them the respect of burying them and apologizing, saying sorry I had to let them go.\n\nSaying sorry it was an accident.\n\nAnd now, they were back.\nApologizing for dying and saying they knew it was an accident.\nJust an accident.\n\nAll the ones whose lives I felt leaving their bodies as their terrified eyes looked into his eyes.\nI put down the lamp on the floor and I cried. \n\nIt couldn't be like this.\nThe footsteps downstairs told me otherwise though.\n\nThe five sets of voices, all wandering around, searching for me.\n\nI looked outside fearfully and I saw the last three pulling themselves out.\n\nOut of the ground, in partial stages of decomposition. \n\nI heard the footsteps stumbling on the stairs loudly. \n\nI sat against the wall crying.\nWell, c'mon, you can kill them again, he said in my mind.\n\nI couldn't bear to do it though.\nFine, suit yourself, but I'm not dying,\n\nI was just watching my own body now. \n\nMy arms opened the door, standing lamp in one hand.\n\n\"So nice of you to accept my apology,\" the decaying corpse of Denise said as she lunged at my body only to have her head caved in by the lamp, the lightbulb smashing against the wall, causing the other footsteps to move towards the stairs.\n\nI heard the other two corpses crawl through the broken glass from the smashed windows.\n\nThey were coming up. I could do nothing but watch as my body smashed Ophelia's head with the base of the lamp while Tina's decaying form climbed over.\n\nTheir movements were slowed from rigor mortis but as my arms swung, Tina had been expecting it and caught it, pulling the lamp as I let go of it.\n\nI tried to find another weapon but there was none. \n\nHe quickly ran to my bedroom and locked the door. \n\nIt was over soon. As their moans of apologies echoed in the hallway, breaking me down as he pushed a dresser in front of the door.\n\nI had nothing else I could think of but to hope my nightmare ended soon.\n\nThe door got slammed by the weight of three bodies.\n\nHe had given up.\nAll that was left was me, sat against a wall crying until they broke through.\n\nAs Tina's rigid fingers strangled me while the rest of them started walking in, I could feel her begin to bite my face.\n\nAs my consciousness faded, I could barely choke out the words, \"I'm...Sorry.\"\n\nMaybe they would accept my apology now?" ]	1
	[WP] "You say that the lad is a monster? Yet you pay no heed at what was done to him. How others tried to twist his will. How they tried to torture him. How they tried to take everything from him. No, he is no monster. Though that is what they tried to craft him into."	[ "Aaron Manders stared blankly at the monitor, trying to conjure up some words to no avail. The paper was due tomorrow, the grade important for the class, the class important for his degree in Engineering. He ran a hand through his hair and looked around. It was empty in the computer room.\n\nHe'd come in early, knowing he'd have to if he had a chance of writing this paper in time. \n\nHe enjoyed the silence for a moment and then tried once more to concentrate on the page. His thoughts wandered to Stephanie, his classmate and crush. \n\nAs if his thoughts had conjured her up, he heard her enter moments later. He could hear the desperation in her voice, as she went straight into a ramble about needing to finish a paper, oblivious to his own plight.\n\nShe wasn't even talking to him. They didn't have that kind of relationship. But he knew she had a tendency to ramble in the presence of anyone who wouldn't tell her to shut it.\n\nA few hours, energy drinks, and wide-eyed concentration later, Aaron came into class with the fresh paper in hand, his hands jittery, but his mind at ease. The paper was finished. It wasn't great, but it should get a passing grade. \n\nClass went by uneventfully. The papers were turned in. Aaron went to leave, but stopped outside the door when he heard professor Steinberg call Stephanie's name. That was never a good sign. She had a habit of getting in trouble and if she'd waited till the last minute on a paper... he'd heard her rambling about plagiarism and how it was justified under such circumstances. \n\n\"We need to have a talk,\" said Steinberg. \"This isn't yours.\"\n\nHe could hear Stephanie breaking down.\n\nHe rushed in. \"It's mine,\" he said.\n\nSteinberg looked at him, disbelieving. \"So you're telling me if I look through this stack of papers, I'm going to find one that says 'Stephanie Harn' and the fact that this plagiarized one has her name inserted at the top is you attempting to blackmail her?\"\n\n\"That's... that's exactly right,\" said Aaron. He looked at Stephanie. He tried to read her, but her face was inscrutable. What was lurking behind those eyes? Pity? Relief?\n\n\"I'm surprised,\" said Steinberg. He pulled out a paper and sure enough, it was as he'd described. \"I'm surprised at you, Aaron. I wouldn't expect this kind of behavior from you. You've always been a good student.\"\n\n\"It's not the first time he's done it,\" said Stephanie, in a gush. \"I mean, not... as bad as this. But he copies off my work all the time. I've caught him doing it in several classes.\"\n\nAaron watched in silent horror as Stephanie continued, unabated.\n\n\"I think he's stalking me across my classes, copying my schedule or something,\" she said. Her voice dropped to a whimper. \"I wanted to report it, but I was afraid he'd come after me or something. But now it's coming out, I just feel this great weight off my chest and I hope that you can protect me.\" She turned doe eyes on professor Steinberg.\n\nHe melted for a moment and then turned to Aaron, hardening into steel. \"You're coming with me, Aaron. We're going to the Dean's office.\"\n\nAaron marched behind Steinberg in silence. When they reached it, Steinberg told him to wait outside and went in. A few minutes later, he waved him in. \n\nInside, the Dean's office, it was quiet, while Aaron sat waiting with Steinberg. Waiting for the Dean to arrive. \n\nAaron thought about fessing up, but he wasn't sure Steinberg would believe him at this point. He rubbed his eyes. He remembered looking down at the finished essay. His name was on it. The lie he'd told Steinberg to defend Stephanie was never going to work. That was what he thought. Why did it work?\n\nDean Almaty entered with a cold, commanding silence.\n\nAaron had never seen her in person. Only in adverts for the university. She was more intimidating in person. And he'd almost passed up this university because of how intimidating she'd been in the adverts.\n\nSteinberg explained the situation to her.\n\nAaron waited in silence as Almaty's expression changed from cold to disgusted.\n\nWhen he finished, Almaty turned the full force of her demeanor on Aaron. \"Do you have anything to say for yourself?\"\n\nAaron stared into her eyes and felt himself getting lost. He wondered if he could get out of trouble by pretending temporary insanity. It wouldn't be that hard to prove, right? He'd been stressed about the paper, had been on very little sleep. But how could he explain away the accusations of stalking? He had ended up in the same classes as Stephanie a lot. Sometimes through coincidence, sometimes through accidentally overhearing where she was planning to sign up. He'd meant to tell her how he felt about her any day now. It just hadn't happened. Was sharing classes with another student a crime?\n\n\"I didn't do it,\" said Aaron.\n\nAlmaty scoffed. \"You were caught red-handed and confessed, and now you're saying you didn't do it? Do you have any idea of the trouble you're in? The plagiarism alone is worthy of expulsion, but trying to plant it on another student and stealing their work? If I had my way, I'd say you don't deserve higher education.\"\n\n\"I was trying to...\" Aaron trailed off. The words got stuck in his throat. What if he explained that he was trying to protect Stephanie? What if they actually believed him? Stephanie's education would be destroyed. She'd never love him. Not even a chance of it. \n\n\"I'm sorry,\" he said. He couldn't stop the tears from forming in his eyes. The world blurred. The downer from the energy drinks, the stress, the lack of sleep, it was hitting him all at once.\n\nDistantly, he heard Almaty speaking, \"Sorry doesn't erase a deed like this. Consider yourself expelled, effective immediately. And if I find you near Miss Harn again, I will call the police personally.\"\n\n\"Maybe we should investigate a little more first,\" said Steinberg. There was a note of something strange in his voice. \"Proper procedures and all that.\"\n\n\"I've heard enough,\" said Almaty. \"The investigation has been conducted. As far as I'm concerned, the evidence is clear and irrefutable. You are dismissed, Mister Manders. Do I need to call security to escort you from the premises or can you show yourself out?\"\n\nIn a daze, Aaron heard himself mumbling, \"I can show myself out\" and picked himself up, heading for the door. As he left, he could have sworn Steinberg briefly grabbed his sleeve. Steinberg opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Then he let go and Aaron left.\n\nWhen he got home, Aaron locked himself in his room. The world spun around him. Strange specters of an angry Almaty lurked at the corner of his vision. He found Stephanie on an online profile of hers and sent out a message. It wasn't much of a message. It wasn't the kind of message he'd envisioned sending out to her. He'd always envisioned sending her some sort of poem, or asking her out for coffee.\n\nInstead, he just sent, \"You know I didn't do it.\"\n\nThe words hung there as he stared at the screen. The moments blurred. Time passed at an indiscernible rate.\n\nEventually, the reply came back. \n\n\"If it makes you feel any better, that old bag Steinberg felt bad about it. He said he was going to confess about lying to you and then forging the docs before visit with Almaty... I mean, did you really think I could swap our papers like that?? Haha... but anyway, I convinced him not to. He has a weakness for college girls. Thanks for taking the fall for me. Love and kisses.\"\n\nAaron stared blankly at the screen. He read it over and over. It was so clear and simple. He could save the message and use it as proof of what had happened. \n\nHe turned off his computer and crawled under the covers. Love and kisses. Did it mean anything? Probably not. But love and kisses... what if it did mean something? What if they could be together after all?" ]	1
	[WP] You hear boss fight music whenever you're in a situation where you may die	[ "Damn!! Of all times for the car to break down it chooses the dead of night in the middle of the coldest winter we have had in years. I hate the cold but at least it's only a mile to...not now. The music quietly started to play, it has happened a number of times before and I narrowly avoided muggings and car accidents. At this time of night though, no one is around and I'm in the middle of the city. Is a dog gonna maul me? I'm not going to find out.\n\nI speed up, and frantically start to think. Is the road the problem? Late night, slick roads, fast turn, and I'm dead. The music got louder and faster death is closing the gap. Headlights shine over my shoulder and an alley illuminates up ahead. Nothing can be heard over the music screaming in my ears as I throw everything in the road and run towards the alley. Fear slowly over taking me, with every passing second. \n\nOnly inches from my haven the car barrels by me, and the music reaches its peak. I stand there exhausted and confused staring at the tale lights about to swear into the night sky. When a tiny bit of snow falls on my jacket. Too late I look up and see a planter falling from a windowsill.", "I heard it, it was distant at first and I had only heard it once before when I had been ran over, the music signified death. I thought I was imagining it, but I was. All I was doing was making a sandwich, my hand trembled as I reached towards the knife, the music grew louder. I yanked my hand away, the music grew louder. My head flicked from side to side the music was rushing towards me. I don't know what to do so I pick up a carrot and hold it out like a sword. The music comes to a head, I suddenly see a white rabbit launch into my window. \n\"Fuck me at the airspeed of an unladen swallow.\" I gasped.\n\n\"African or European.\" The rabbit growls in a deep voice as it leaps over the counter." ]	2
	[WP]You work twenty hours a day, every day. You haven't had a vacation in decades. You're starting to burn out, but this is no ordinary job: You're a superhero having trouble coming to grips with the fact that you can't save everybody.	[ "The doors of the laboratory blew open as an android smashed into them, having been thrown be a perpetrator. The perpetrator, a caped hero wearing armor reminiscent of a chivalric knight, slowly walked into and scanned the room. Lab equipment, supplies, and parts were scattered all over the place, as though there had been no care or thought into the placement of these items.\n\n\"So, Chevalier, you've arrived.\"\n\nChevalier looked ahead, into the dark part of the room. There stood his target, someone he once respected and knew.\n\n\"Doctor Dove,\" Chevalier stated, \"I've come to stop your mad plot!\"\n\n\"Mad plot? Oh no, Chevalier, you're mistaken. There is no madness here.\"\n\nThe lights switched on, at the end of the room stood a man dressed in a ragged plague doctor uniform, burnt and torn beyond repair. Behind him was a contraption of unknown use, gears turning within and wires poking out, sparking.\n\n\"Only science.\"\n\n\"I've heard about your timemachine, Dove! You know the timeline should not be tampered with!\"\n\n\"I don't care, this timemachine, it will allow me to undo all that happened. It will allow me to save her! It will allow me to save all those who died that day, and everyday after that! Every death, every loss, every mistake! I can reset it, Chevalier, I can go back and change everything so that it will all be right! I could stop the incident from every occuring!!\"\n\n\"You know the incident wasn't your fault, You have to move on!\"\n\n\"Move on?... MOVE ON?! LIKE YOU DID!? YOU, WHO STILL HAD A FAMILY TO GO BACK TO? YOU, WHO STILL HAD THE STRENGTH TO CONTINUE ON AND FIGHT FOR YOUR IDEALS!?\"\n\nChevalier proceeded to remove his helmet, dropping it on the ground. As it rolled away, he extended out a hand towards Doctor Dove.\n\n\"Listen to me, Dove! Calm down and realize that this isn't the right way to be grieving. I'm your friend, and I want to help. So please, step away from the timemachine.\"\n\nSilence reigned, as Dove collected his thoughts. Chevalier could do nothing but slowly position himself in case Doctor Dove didn't come to his senses.\n\nFinally, Dove responded, \"I refuse, because in the end, do you know what I have realized? I realized I hated myself, hated myself for allowing her to die, allowing myself to be outplayed. I spent days cooped up in here... ever-growing in hatred in the fact that I cannot save everyone.\"\n\n\"Gregory, please, for the sake of our friendship, step away from the machine.\"\n\nDove removed his plague doctor bird mask, once reminiscent of his favorite bird, but now tarred with cracks and a charred surface. Underneath, the torn and scarred remnants of what used to be a man stared with dead eyes.\n\n\"Gregory is dead, Arthur.\"\n\nAt that moment, both men acted. As Chevalier rushed towards Dove in an effort to tackle him away, Dove himself tore away his plague doctor uniform, revealing his entire body had been replaced with mechanical parts. In an instant, Dove's cybernetic arm shoved forwards, catching Chevalier.\n\n\"Only the Doctor remains, Doctor Raven, that is.\"\n\nAs Chevalier struggled in the grasp of Doctor Raven, Raven's arm threw Chevalier into the wall, knocking it down. Despite this, Chevalier stood up, readying himself for a fight.\n\nDoctor Raven could only scoff as he placed his mask back on his face, \"And I will remake the timeline so that everything goes right.\"", "Jay paces in front of the screens, one hand clenched into a fist and the other holding his coffee protectively to his chest. \"Not good enough. I'm never good enough,\" he murmurs, words slurred even to his ears. He takes another long gulp of coffee, but it does nothing to quell the pounding in his head and the aching in his bones. There was a day when a good ol' venti latte, five extra espresso shots, would make him feel right as rain. Now, all he gets is concerned looks from baristas.\n\n\"You're doing your best,\" says Alex. Easy for him to say: he's young and healthy and optimistic and is destined to be far more than the sidekick of a washed-out 'hero' who can't even save the people he swore to protect. \n\nJay just sighs into his coffee. \"Ten people died today, Alexander. Because I couldn't save them in time.\" His eyes fix on the video of the bank playing in the middle screen, at how he was too far away to do anything but watch as the explosions went off, one by one, in the vaults that had just been robbed. \n\n\"You did your best,\" Alex says, but Jay isn't listening anymore. His gaze slips from the video to the articles open on the other screens: \n\nExclusive Footage of Captain Valiant Letting Civilians Die?! \n\nShould Captain Valiant Retire? \n\nFamily of Bank Casualties Demand Justice-- Why Are Our Heroes Failing Us? \n\nOp-Ed: Superheroes Just Aren't What They Used To Be\n\n\"We don't need Valiant!\"-- Protests In Capital Expose Lack of Faith In Heroes\n\nIt's 2045, Not 1945: Superheroes Are A Thing of the Past\n\n\"Your coffee,\" Alex says loudly, and that's when Jay realizes that he's crushed the container into a pulp, the steaming liquid dripping down his arm. It would burn any normal human, but he can't even feel it. \"Are you alright, Ja-- Captain?\" \n\n\"The Captain is dead,\" Jay hisses. His headache disappears. He's not felt this good in years. Something about epiphanies, perhaps? \"If the world doesn't need superheroes, let's see what they make of supervillains.\"", "The door doesn't latch on the first try. The keys skid off the counter and flop onto the floor. I drop my bag in the doorway - and I don't have the energy to pick it back up. Not tonight.\n\nHe sets his phone down on the table. I can already see where the night is going: he has been sitting all night, not watching TV, not relapsing, just sitting there.\n\nWaiting...\n\n\"Hey, Cass,\" he says, nervously. His pulse is racing, and he knows that I know it. \"So you had an amazing night, huh?\"\n\nNot tonight...\n\nStill, I bite at the bait. \"Amazing, you think this is amazing?\" It's happening again. \"First, I'm trying to convince the goddamn President to just give me a few more days in Ukraine before he sends a team to turn it into a blood bath. Then, some guy has to go crack open a bank vault, and I have to try and stop him. And...\" the residual image on his phone comes clear to me.... \"And you already know how the night ended.\" I'm fuming now. \"Yeah, goddamn amazing!\"\n\nMy guilt tastes like bile. I try to just look at his face, try not to look at his vital signs, but the stress hormones leak from him like blood from a soldier in Ukraine.\n\n------\n\nThere were eight of them, huddled on the floor, encircling a maniac with a gun who stood over them like a statue of Zeus looming over the tiny citizens. His minions were all over the bank, hauling bags of money to the getaway car like ants in a colony, like they were all cogs in some sort of a machine.\n\nAnd the machine happened to have a gap, where all of the henchmen would be outside of the bank, right about.... now.\n\nI sailed through the sky, closing the distance to the bank in less than a second. It was going to be loud - I could feel the noise welling up behind me. Just before penetrating the bank roof, my eyes shone furiously, melting the exterior doors to slag, until I finally crashed through the roof and came to a halt six inches off the floor.\n\nThe air was swollen with alarms and a sonic boom, laced with tinny wails and shrieks and cries from the hostages.\n\nOnly the gunman in the middle hadn't moved an inch. He didn't even look surprised.\n\n\"You don't seem thrilled to see me,\" I taunted.\n\nHe sighed and pointed the gun to a hostage. Not mad, not angry, not even scared. \"Miss Firefly, so glad you could join us,\" he said, flatly. Like this was just... inconvenient?\n\nMy blood turned sour, and I let myself settle on the ground. Slowly, I began marching towards him. \"I could turn your gun to vapor.\" I kicked a boulder of 19th century masonry across the room for show. \"I could fly through you, so fast that you turn to mist. I could turn this whole vault into a tornado and spit you up into the night sky like some goddamn farmer's dog.\" I offered a perverse grin, with wide eyes and fierce eyebrows. I was particularly proud of that last one - just a few hours before, I had bungled it while arguing with some drunk, child-abusing husband.\n\n\"So, why don't you?\" he said, morosely.\n\nI studied him, carefully. His pistol was almost empty. His henchmen were still trying to find a crack in the doors - they'd soon abandon us all together and leave in the car.\n\nBut, deep inside his chest, was something dark, sinister. Something singing to the outside world, in regular, machine-like ticks on an encrypted channel.\n\n\"Because,\" I muttered, stopping in my tracks. \"Because you have a dead man's switch mounted on your heart.\"\n\n-----\n\nHis face melts to tears. \"When we started,\" he sobs, \"when it was just you and I, and things were so great. You were inspirational...\"\n\n\"Nothing has changed,\" I lie. \"I just... I just want the best world, for both of us for us. For you.\"\n\n\"Nothing is the same! Your job was never normal, but it was regular. You'd fight crime for eight hours a day, then come home to us. Remember when we were in college?\" His eyes turn bright for a moment. \"Remember how we used to catch the train into the city, then just rage all night?\" Nostalgia washes over us both. \"Remember how we used to get into fights over cover a changes and dance until the sun came up? Remember how we used to be young?\"\n\n\"We aren't young anymore...\"\n\n\"You're not even thirty years old,\" he yells. \"So what? What's changed?\"\n\n\"The world has gotten worse!\" I cry. \"It's sick - every day there's some maniac going to deeper an darker extremes just to make a point, and I'm the only one who can stop him without wiping out an entire village in the process.\"\n\n\"Do you know what it's like,\" I continue, \"to have heads of state calling you at all hours, pleading with you to save my people and help make the world better, and then you arrive just to find out that it was all a lie, and it you're just mopping up the mess of some state-sponsored death squad? And amongst the piles of raped women and dead babies you find orders to butcher the entire goddamned country, signed by the same asshole who just begged you to make it stop!\"\n\nHis eyes are wide. \"Cassidy...?\"\n\nI sigh, relax. My eyes cool down and my feet come back down to the ground.\n\n\"The world hasn't changed,\" he sighs. \"You're just growing up.\" He pauses for a moment. \"You're growing up, and I can't sit around while you let it tear you apart.\"\n\n\"Cliche,\" I snarl. We'd had this argument before, in reverse.\n\n\"It doesn't matter,\" he says. \"You still love me. But you love the job more.\" He sniffles. \"And I have to be ok with that - but I have to watch out for myself too. I need something more from this relationship.\"\n\n\"So what,\" I mutter. \"You're going to leave me because I'm too mature for you?\"\n\n\"I'm leaving you because I didn't sign up for this.\"\n\n\"Neither did I...\"\n\n--------\n\n\"The bombs are mounted all over the building,\" he stated, slowly. \"As well as in all of my vehicles. You'll never find all of them. Not in time.\"\n\n\"All of your vehicles?\" My ears twitched, there was a helicopter approaching. With a grin, he confirmed everything I feared. He had expected the standoff...\n\n\"Here are my terms,\" he continued. \"You will help me load the remaining bags from the vault, into the helicopter. I will leave here, with three of these hostages.\" They all whimpered, for show.\n\n\"What makes you think that I won't follow you?\"\n\n\"You should be getting a call about that shortly,\" his grin turned wide, revealing a row of crooked, jagged teeth. Sure enough, my phone was alight with incoming messages.\n\n\"No need to check, I'll spare you the trouble,\" he said. \"There's an asteroid, five minutes above Sydney. Far, far away from here.\"\n\nShit\n\n\"Which gives you about two minutes here before you doom most of the Australian continent to a fiery fiery death.\"\n\nThe days of fighting crime, sleep deprivation, the stress of saving the world over and over all seemed to take their toll on me at once - and a wave of exhaustion sought to drown me.\n\n\"Let's start small,\" he cooed. \"I need a hole in the wall, right about there,\" he pointed to the North wall.\n\nSomehow, from deep under the waves of exhaustion, something made the incoming tide of stress churn and gurgle. Something stronger than stress.\n\nRage\n\nI picked up another chunk of ceiling and hurled it through the North wall, exposing the wide, empty courtyard, bathed in a spotlight from the hovering helicopter.\n\n\"Next,\" he said, \"I need you to place the the bags into the helicopter,\" he motioned behind him. The henchmen had left with the cash already, but there were bags on the floor, full of exotic jewelry from the safe deposit boxes.\n\n\"You won't be able to sell them,\" I said.\n\n\"Yes I will,\" he smirked, \"but you're thinking small. Some of the gems are special. Unique. Not of this world. And I have special plans for them.\"\n\nI stared at the bags. I was no scientist, but I could sense something mildly radioactive, something with a complex crystalline lattice. Something special, unique.\n\n\"No time to dwell on that,\" he said. \"Not unless you're willing to sacrifice these eight hostages, or the population of Sydney, all to serve some perverse idea of justice.\"\n\n\"How do you think this ends?\" I asked as plainly as I could, as I desperately struggled to come up with a plan.\n\n\"With everyone, safe at home - except maybe I'm on a beach, with a nice cocktail. But we're all thanking you again for your incredible strength,\"he grinned. \"And judgement.\"\n\n------\n\nI look around the apartment. His stuff is all gone, though he hasn't packed the TV, the laptop, anything he only paid half for.\n\n\"Please,\" my words tremble. \"Please, just, wait.\"\n\n\"What am I going to wait for?\" He throws his hands in the air. \"If you're right, then the world isn't getting any better. And if I'm right, you can't step back away from it.\"\n\n\"I've been overdoing it, fine! But why do you think I'm going so hard?\" Despair and rage swirl around inside of me, again. \"I do it because I know that I can't do it forever. I do it because, if I just nail this a few more times, then maybe people will finally give up on crime. Because if I do something amazing, then maybe I can finally rest.\"\n\n\"Tonight was amazing!\" He shouts again. \"You just saved a half billion people, but you probably don't consider that a win, do you?\"\n\n\"He got away!\"\n\n\"Who did?!\" He cries out.\n\n\"I don't even know!\" The waterworks begin. \"The bank robber - he committed the perfect crime, like some sort of goddamn super villain, and now everyone knows that it can be done. Every lowlife and scumbag and dictator knows that Firefly has limits!\" I lean back against the wall, hug my knees into my chest.\n\n\"Do you know what it's like?\" I sob some more. \"To finally be beat? To be powerless against someone else? To have to bow down to that, knowing that the world is worse because of the choice that you made?\"\n\nHe stands up, rubbing his inner elbow. \"You know that I know that,\" I can hear his thumb catch on the old track marks. \"Better than most.\"\n\n\"But the saddest part,\" he continues, \"is that you think you made the worse choice.\"\n", "I stared at the bodies, mixed in with the rubble. I'd failed before. It hurt, but you can't save everyone. I thought I'd accepted that. Then I saw him. Jacob Marius. The Commissioner's little boy. 5, no 6, just turned 6. I dropped down on my knees next to him. I tossed aside the several-ton chunk of concrete that was still crushing his lower body. If it didn't break up, it launched to space. A part of me wanted to follow it.He had on a Rocket and Groot t-shirt, a gift from the party. I could hear people coming, rescue crews. I didn't care. They started working around me, but someone else must have recognized the boy. I felt his father's hand on my shoulder. He hunkered down next to me, gave me a hug, someone got a good picture of it. I don't know how, but he didn't blame me. Not that I could do the same.\n\nIt's been eight years now. I haven't put the cape back on. People still have a day of mourning for the tragedy, every year on the day. It wasn't 9/11, only a couple dozen dead. But the world remembers that I didn't fall in battle. They know my body is fine. They think my spirit is broken. But I realized something. Back then, I couldn't save everyone, but my abilities, more powers, they keep growing. And I could drive them in certain directions. Improving speed and strength beyond the bounds of what science thought was possible. There is no mass I cannot move, no disaster I cannot halt. And most importantly, no time I cannot go.\n\nThey're right about me. I never did accept that I couldn't save everyone. Now, I don't have to. " ]	4
	[WP] All heros wear capes, They magical started appearing on anyone being heroic. This is making your job as an everyday hero significantly harder.	[ " \n\n“Here you go, Mrs. Herrera,” Luis said. He handed the elderly woman an open jar of pickles.\n\n“Ay, thank you. I didn’t want to wake mijo with such a small thing,” she smiled with sparkling eyes. “He earned his cape last week, and he’s been so busy.”\n\n“You’re welcome,” Luis faked a smile and stepped back into his apartment to close the door. “And, again. Congratulations on your son.” He shut the door with a heavy sigh and walked back into the kitchen.\n\n“My hero son is a hero,” he mocked her with a high, whiny voice. “Did you know he was a hero?” he asked Mort. The shell of Luis’ pet turtle was decorated with a bright yellow sticker that smiled up at Luis. The tall, lean man growled and rubbed his back against the doorjamb. “You see, Mort?” He wiggled from side to side against the hard edge. “She talks about her stupid son so much she gives me hives.” Mort disappeared into his shell.\n\n“Yeah it’s late,” Luis said. “See you in the morning.” He flipped the light off on his way out of the kitchen and headed to the single bedroom in his “quaint” apartment. Luis continued to grumble to himself about Mrs. Herrera’s son as he worked through his bedtime routine. Then he climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.\n\nHe felt better after a solid night of rest. He smiled at Mort as they had breakfast together, then left the apartment. His smile only lasted until the elevator doors opened. Mrs. Herrera’s son, Angel, stood in the elevator with each arm wrapped around a beautiful woman. Angel smiled at Luis.\n\n“Morning!” Luis nodded, stepped into the elevator, and promptly turned his back on him. “Girls, this is Luis. He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s always helping my mom with stuff that’s,” he chuckled, “you know. Under my league.”\n\n“Hi,” one of them said flatly. “Tell us about when you earned your cape,” she said to Angel with a flirty tone. Luis heard the sound of rustling fabric behind him and imagined the girls running their fingers through Angel’s white, satiny cape.\n\n“Oh, you know all about that,” Angel chuckled. “I mean, the news is still talking about how I saved that bus full of kids from crashing into a burning building.”\n\n“I know,” the other woman said. “But how does it work? How did it feel?” Luis rolled his eyes and glanced at the number pad. 30 more floors to go.\n\n“Well, after I parked the bus in a safe spot my whole body tingled, and then,” a finger snapped right by Luis’ ear. “Snap! The cape just popped out.”\n\n“That’s it? You mean you don’t get to pick your powers?” the first woman asked. Luis looked down. 20 more floors to go.\n\n“Nope. I don’t know how they get picked, but I knew how to use them as soon as the cape appeared,” Angel replied.\n\n“Ooooh. What can you do?” The second woman asked.\n\n“I can fly. I have super strength, and I can make light,” Angel said. The metal doors in front of Luis grew brighter. He saw a ball of light in the reflection, then Angel made it disappear.\n\n“That’s so hot,” the first woman said. 10 floors to go. Luis reached into his suit pocket and pulled out his collapse-able back scratcher. The stress caused by Angel’s bragging triggered his hives again.\n\n“Hey, Luis. Need a hand?” Angel laughed. Both women sounded disgusted at the thought, but Luis ignored them.\n\n“He doesn’t need a hero, he needs a dermatologist,” one of the girls said, and the trio burst into laughter. Luis gripped the back scratcher and rubbed harder. Five floors left.\n\n“You’re a hero, don’t bother with anything that small,” the first woman said. One floor left. Luis scratched harder. The elevator lurched and stopped halfway between the second and first floors. The lights went out. Luis snapped.\n\n“FUCK YOU!” He yelled at the door first, for taking too long to open. Then he whirled around in the darkness and screamed.\n\n“YOU’RE A FUCKING BUS DRIVER! IT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KEEP THE KIDS SAFE!” A warm light began to glow from Angel’s hand to illuminate them. The golden light highlighted icy-cold stares coming from both women.\n\n“You’re just Jealou-” the first woman was interrupted by Luis yelling in her face.\n\n“DID I ASK YOU ANYTHING YOU FUCKING GROUPIE?” Angel stepped forward and put a firm hand on Luis’ shoulder.\n\n“That’s enough,” he said. Luis growled and swung his only weapon, a metal-tipped back scratcher. The tiny claw sliced across Angel’s face and left three red gashes over his left eye. The surprise attack made Angel drop the light. Luis growled again in the dark. His back felt like it was on fire and he doubled over to try and escape the pain.\n\n“IT BURNS!” He yelled. He rolled over and rubbed his back on the floor, then he went quiet. After several seconds of silence, Angel produced light again. He and the two women were huddled against one corner of the elevator. They looked down at Luis, but the lean man began to stand up.\n\n“What is your deal?” the second woman asked. Luis took a deep breath and reached behind himself. He made a smooth motion and held up a handful of black silk for them to see.\n\n“I can fly, I have super strength, and I can make dark,” he smiled at the woman, then snapped his fingers. Angel’s light went out.\n\n\\\\\\*\n\n Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day in 2018, this is #264. You can find them collected on my [blog](https://hugoverse.info/). If you're curious about my universe (the Hugoverse) you can visit the [Guidebook](https://hugoverse.info/2017/11/25/hugoverse-guidebook/) to see what's what and who's who, or the [Timeline](https://hugoverse.info/2017/10/23/hugoverse-timeline/) to find the stories in order. " ]	1
	[WP] While scrolling through the pictures on your phone, you see several of yourself asleep. You live alone.	[ "Hmm, I thought to myself, had I taken selfies in my sleep? I check the selfie folder and... nope, someone else took them. Huh, well, I imagine if the person that took them wanted to hurt me they would have done so while I was asleep. I’m assuming that they are obsessed with me so, I write a note and tape it above my bed, “To the person that took the pictures, I wanna be your friend, please gently wake me up and I will talk to you, I’m also very lonely. I wake up the next morning and find the note is on my bedside table with my phone as a paperweight on top of it. I pick it up and I read the chilling message on the back. “Dear sir, I would also be willing to be your friend, however I only took your picture to send it to my boss because I was confused as to what to do next because no matter how hard I tried, you would not die.” Signed The Angel of Death. " ]	1
	[WP] You, the top general in the Empire and a renowned warrior, just got knocked into a pig trough by a group of early teens who have convinced themselves they're on a quest. For the fifth time this month. You just realized that you're one of the antagonists in a children's movie. How do you win?	[ "The material splashed over my head, a defeat I had not suffered by a hundred enemies. As my vision cleared I looked forward towards my assailants, now gathered around my boots.\n\nA vagrant mismatch of colors, patches, messy hair, and at the front, a young man with eyes burning with passion.\n\nSomeone shouts, \"He's disarmed, we've got the papers, run!\"\n\nI pulled myself out of the muck, thoroughly covering my arms and gauntlets and freeing myself with a messy \"Plop\".\nI glanced around the village I had currently been patrolling through, seeing several citizens staring at my predicament.\n\nLater, cleaning myself off behind a local tavern, I prepared myself for our standard procedure, peace has been kept in the empire for millennia due to preparation.\n\nI returned to my horse, and removed from the saddlebags an old robe, a gnarled stick, and several potent bags of poisons and 'potions'\n\nI stripped my armor, donned the robe, tied up my horse, and set off for the local woods.\n\nIt was time to 'mentor' a new group of rebellious youngsters.\n\nPeace has been maintained for millennia.", "Know thine enemy and you will win a thousand battles. Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than that band of rapscallions that just knocked me into a pig trough.\n\nIndeed, why was I even out and about, when I could be in the palace discussing grand strategy with the Emperor as my job required? I chalked it up to my desire to be one with the men. I could have had my armour polished, my sword sharpened, my meals heated, sleeping in a nice warm bed. But I wanted none of that if it meant the men were invigorated by my presence. Yet, these noble ideas must go under review, for I did not know my enemy, much less myself. A new strategy is required to undermine these malevolent forces that unbalance the fair scales of war.\n\nI had a dream recently, where the whole world looked as though it were pencil-drawn. Let us just say that I acted as irrationally as I could imagine. To monologue about my plans so extensively, to the extent of breaking into song? I didn't even know I was able to summon my men to partake in an extended dance routine so easily. To gloat before delivering the death blow on these kids? Yes, I wouldn't murder unnecessarily, for that wasn't going to the root of the problem. But in that dream, I talked too much and did too little. It was as though someone had written lines for me to recite, in the hopes of lengthening the process and demonising all that I stand for. The Emperor seems like he's succumbing to this too, for his policies have become more Biblical in their proportions. Killing the firstborns? Purging certain social classes? Raising taxes unfairly? My Lord, you know this to be the exact thing the Regent warned you about before he passed.\n\nThere are many ways out of this situation, so I'll choose the most expedient one. A solution that won't involve these pesky, meddling brats who hope to effect change on people so much older and wiser than they are. A coup would be risky, so reform from the inside is my best bet. It will keep me on this arbitrarily-defined stance of Good that whoever's writing this dastardly drama will decide upon. Sun Tzu again: If fighting is needed to secure victory, you must fight, but if not fighting will ensure victory, you must not fight. And now is hardly the time for aggressive struggles against immune protagonists. It is time to shift the focus back onto our glorious Empire as the protagonist. Just because I stand six feet tall, carry my sword everywhere and wear three stars on my armour doesn't mean I'm the villain.\n\nAll the world's a stage, and all its men and women merely players. I believe the time is ripe to change the genre. Children's movie, meet political thriller." ]	2
	[WP] You, being a brilliant scientist, developed the “Truth Watch”, a watch that gives off a signal when it catches someone lying. One day you get in a argument with your wife, to which she replies: “good thing i’m not some kind of monster that breathes fire”. Suddenly, your watch starts beeping.	[ "“Apparently this watch thinks your lying!” \n\n“Oh shut up Greg you know I rigged it to go off at a press of a button!”\n\n“Wait but I got it fixed...”\n\nThe couple just stared at each other then the watch. “Lyla I just got the watch fixed you did not tamper with it again did you?” She looked at Greg and back at the watch.\n\n“I’m human”\n\nIt beeped.\n\n“I’m Lyla.”\n\nIt beeped.\n\n“Honey what is this? One of your sick jokes?” \n\n“Greg shut up for a sec. I’m Lyla.”\n\nIt beeped again.\n\n“No no no. I’m Lyla Greenwood married to Greg Greenwood in a town in the middle of nowhere!”\n\nIt beeped.\n\nGreg could hear her start to cry. “Look honey it’s just a silly machine I can just ship it back and we can just forget this ever happened.”\n\nShe wiped the tears from her eyes with her claw. “Yah honey let’s do that. What were we even arguing about?” \n\n“Oh it was about that augment eye surgery. The ones that could bring back my sight.” He sighed. “I know my life’s at risk but I just wanted to see you again...”\n\nThe creature before him started to shift back to human. “It’s ok my love. Let’s just forget about it huh? Come on let’s get dinner.”\n\n“Your cooking.”\n\n“What? No you are!”\n\n“Honey I’m blind.”\n\n“And I’m Lyla.”\n\n\nBeep" ]	1
	[WP] You find a button.	[ "'Where's the remote...where...the hell...is the..a ha!'\n\nWith his arm three quarters buried between the cushions of the couch John clenched his fist around the device and pulled his arm out victorious, he thought he had finally found the TV remote. \n\nHe had not. \n\nIn his hand was a simple yet mysterious device, no longer than a mobile phone, semi flat smoot surface and cylindrical with a plunger button on top with the word 'Muerte' engraved across the button. \n\n'hmmm... What is this?..' John muttered to himself bemused with his finding\n\nShouting off into the distance hoping Sarah would hear him from the kitchen \"Sar..... What's this?\" he waited for a response. \n\nAfter a minute of no response he repeated the same places he had looked for the TV remote them dropped himself down back on the couch, reluctantly watching the repeat of last night's reality show he was trying to turn off. As each act came on John smiled as he clicked the button engaging with the show before him, Imagining himself as one of the judges cancelling acts as they bored him, amusing himself. \n\nAfter several acts had performed, and John had 'buzzed' each and everyone one of them, an emergency news report flashed up on the screen\n\n'Breaking News from the Got Talent House, 7 of the 8 contestant's have reportedly died mysteriously, all 7 apparently clutched their chests, repeated the same word and passed away within moments of each other. More on this as the story develops. \n\n'Next up on News 5, are socks killing your kids? Join us after the break' John zoned out from the news taking in the information he had just heard, the plunger still firmly in my hand. \n\nJohn looked at the plunger button in his hand confused....was it his fault....did he do this? \n\nSarah entered the room \"Did you shout me?\" she asked. \n\n\"yeah...\" still looking confused \"you'll think this is wierd but bare with me..'\" John continued, absent mindedly pressing the button as he explained to Sarah his conclusion.\n\n\"John.... I love you but.... You're an idiot\" Sarah said as she spun and wondered off back to the kitchen. \n\nJohn sat back down on the couch, as he did he heard a stumble and a slight clatter of plates from the kitchen, as he got up and investigate could hear muttering from the kitchen. \n\n\"Muerte.....Muerte.....Muerte...\" Sarah made eye contact with John as she crashed to the floor, clutching her chest. \n", "I got off my subway stop at the wrong station. Crap. I had a few blocks to walk now and it was already way too late. A few drinks with friends from work and I get lost so easily. My mom was right, I shouldn't have moved to The City from upstate, but the glitz and the glam had me hooked. I already had seen Hamilton and was going to catch The Producers in an off Broadway show. But here I was, four blocks the wrong way from my shit hole apartment. If it wasn't for Google I don't know if I would ever find my way back. Anyway, I was climbing out of the station to the street when something at ground level catches my eye. I get to the sidewalk above and bend over. I found a button. \n\nI think that it will fit my shirt that is missing one, so I will sew it on once I get home." ]	2
	[WP] Awakened in the middle of the night by a ferocious knocking sound, you decide to check the door to find nobody there. After searching for the source of the noise, you discover your reflection in a mirror desperately trying to get your attention. The reflection urges you to not answer the phone.	[ "I groaned and rubbed my eyes as knocking invaded my dreams. A few strands of my bangs got tangled around my fingers and I made a face as I tried to detangle them. More knocking echoed in the small apartment as I struggled to wake up enough to untangle my fingers from the wild black and blue curls that were my hair and get up to answer the door. It took two minutes to wake up and another two to get my fingers free. \n\n\nFinally I rolled out of bed and zombie shuffled out of my bedroom and over to the front door. I checked the peep hole. No one I could see. I frowned and undid the chain before unlocking the deadbolt and the lock in the doorknob. I twisted the knob and opened the door inwards a smidge, just enough to look outside. The hallway was empty, no drunk and stumbling neighbors, no one locked out and needing a hand. I closed the door and locked up again. \n\n\nI frowned and looked over at the clock above my couch in my living/dining area. 11:45. I needed to get back to bed, it was almost midnight and my grandmother's voice was echoing in my sleep addled brain about being off the floor at midnight or else. I thought about bed for a minute or two before my bladder protested the thought. Guess bed could wait five minutes. I shuffled back to my room and into the ensuite bathroom. After finishing my business and washing my hands the knocking started again. I looked to the bathroom door and furrowed my eyebrows. \n\n\nThe knocking sounded desperate. I sighed and dried my hands and then went back into the bedroom. I was not going to answer the door. It was too close to being midnight. I crawled back into bed and looked around the room. That's when I knew where the knocking was coming from. In the mirror on my closet door my reflection was pounding away at the glass. She was wide eyed and looked panicked. Once she noticed I was gawking at her she looked relieved. \n\n\nI did not share her relief. I was quietly panicking. What the hell was going on?! My reflection had never done anything like this before! She started signing to me in the very basic sign language that I knew but, she was going to fast for me to read it. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore her. She started pounding on the mirror again. I barely opened my eyes as she started signing again. She was slower this time and I could read what she was trying to say. \n\n\n'Do... not... answer... the... phone.' \n\n\nOver and over again she was signing it. I frowned. What was she talking about? The fifth time she signed it my cell phone, which was resting on my nightstand, started to ring. I nearly fell out of bed and my reflection flew into a panicked flurry of pounding on the glass and shaking her head and trying to keep me from answering the phone. \n\n\nI righted myself and picked up the slim hunk of metal and looked down. I didn't recognize the number on the screen and the clock on the phone read 00:00. Midnight. I looked back at my reflection as the phone kept ringing in my hand. She was frantic, shaking her head and shouting soundlessly at me. She was crying too and I looked back at my phone. It should have stopped ringing and gone to voice mail by now but it hadn't. I frowned at the device and moved to set it back down on the night stand when the damn thing slipped in my hand. My palm slid across the smooth glass surface and I heard the click of the phone signaling that I had answered the call on accident. \n\n\nMy reflection pounded desperately on the glass of the mirror. I gulped and turned the phone over in my hand, staring aprihensively at the screen. I moved to hang up the phone when I heard a nice that was not my panicked reflection, my racing heart, or anything normal. It was a low growling sound. It didn't come from the silent phone that was giving me radio silence. I looked up and felt my body lock down in terror at the figure that stood in my doorway. I couldn't look away, I couldn't move and I couldn't find my voice to scream as the figure walked into my bedroom. The last thing I heard as my world went black so the being advanced, was my reflection trying to break out of the mirror. " ]	1
	[WP] you realize that you ARE your reflection in the bathroom mirror. If the mirror breaks, you die. The house is set to be demolished and you need to find a way to convince your real self to protect the mirror at all costs.	[ "If the mirror breaks, I die. The house is set to be demolished and I need to find a way to convince my real self to protect the mirror.\n\nI stare at him. \n\nHe stares at me.\n\nI think he gets the idea, or at least has some kind of irrational compulsion to save my image. We walk towards each other and pull the faces of my mirror off of the wall above the sinks. \n\nThe world is an open door for me, now. I walk out, down the hallway and out of the old house.\n\nHow long will I be able to lift this mirror? I do not dare ask myself out loud.\n\nWalking down the street, I see a small puddle on the side of the road.\n\nThat stare breaks my heart." ]	1
	[WP] 3D printing and bioengineering have advanced to the point that we can now print out a fully customizable human being with whatever physical and mental traits are desired. There are some obvious ethical issues with creating a person this way, but in your situation you think it's warranted.	[ "It was finally the day. I laid back on the hospital bed as the nurse inserted my IV. It was going to be a long surgery, but it would be worth it. I look down at my hands, soon I’d be looking down at something better.\n\n“You’re all set, we’ll take you back shortly.” I smile at her and nod.\n\nI hadn’t told many people what I was going in for, If I could’ve done this major of a modification to my body without calling my family, I would have. Though, since my appearance was going to be altered I had to at least let some of them know where I was. My mind races at the thought of finally shed my weak human body for good.\n\nThe nurse walks back in and starts to wheel me towards the operating room. Doubts started to grow in my mind. ‘Is this safe?’ ‘Will they be okay with how I look?’ ‘Will I actually be happy with this?’ I squash them quickly, this is what I had been waiting for. Hell, I had even gotten my job at the company working to perfect the procedure. It was finally time, I’d volunteer as one of the first human test subjects for a full body mod. I was more than ready for it.\n\n“Are you ready Jo… I mean Behr.” I chuckle a little, Avery had known me for a few years. My new name was a bit more fitting, as was hers, but it was a little difficult to shed our old names. \n\n“It’s fine kitten” I sigh happily, seeing her ears and tail.\n\n“So… you’re going for the full package, colored fur and all?” She asks me a little questioningly.\n\n“No, I was gonna go for something the same color as my hair.” I laugh a little. “A little less danger of being turned fully green.”\n\nShe giggles a bit, injecting something into my IV line. “I’ll see you when you wake up Behr”\n\nI smile and start to count back from ten as the anesthesia works its magic. ’10, 9, 8… 7… 6…’\n\nEverything when black for a moment, then, I wake up feeling Avery’s soft paws brushing against my arm. “A-Ave…” I croak out, my mouth a little sore from the intubation.\n\n“Hello my little teddy” She smiles happily and continues to pet my warm arm.\n\n“Heh… you got another surgery too, huh?” I look down at my new light brown fur with a large smile.\n\n“Of course. You’re the lucky one, getting to do it all at once.”\n\n“I’m not sure I’m that lucky, since now I have to explain… this… to my parents”\n\n“Who cares what they think, you’re happy now my big teddy bear.”\n\nI smile happily and nod. “Yeah, I am happy”\n" ]	1
	[WP] You find yourself standing in a White Room. Suddenly you hear two voices behind you, saying in unison "Hello, are you ready for the next step?". Before you can answer anything, you found yourself in the middle of the street, holding a note that says "Good Luck!"	[ "Bewildered, I stand in the street trying to register what just happened. \"What's going on? What am I supposed to be doing?\" I think to myself. Fortunately or unfortunately, I did not have very much time to think about what to do. A man came up running behind me screaming, \"hurry! start running! there isn't much time!\" As he came by me, he grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me forward. He looked at me with such intensity and freight that I began running with him. \"Where are we going? What's going on?\" I asked between my breaths. \"There isn't any time to explain!\" he responded. His response was ominous as we heard gunfire behind us. It was a fully automatic rifle, an AK 47. My days in the military were not all for naught. We turned the corner to shielded ourselves from the bullets, and continued to run. Suddenly, the man stopped running; I stopped too. He handed me a crumpled up piece of newspaper. \"Here, take this!\" he exclaimed. I grabbed it and realized that there was an object inside. \"Use this to take you to the next step\" he said. He then stopped running with me, and started to run in the opposite direction towards the gunfire. \"Hey! What are you doing?! Stop! You're going to get yourself killed\" I yelled at him. But it was too late. He was already around the corner and gone. I heard the confrontation from a distance, a loud scream, and then dead-silence. He was gone. The silence struck me like a pistol going off at the beginning of a race and I started to run. While running, I opened the the crumbled up piece of paper and looked at the object inside. I couldn't believe what I saw.." ]	1
	[WP] The animal council is having a meeting. Little do they know, the insects and fish are tired of being left out and are planning an attack.	[ "“Settle down, settle down!” screamed Elephant, as she stomped her massive tree trunk sized hooves down. “One at a time!” \n\nIt was no use. The forest boomed with a cacophony of noises and cries and grunts and hisses and it was nearly impossible to make out what anyone was saying. Even with her massive ears, Elephant could only make out bits and pieces. \n\n“IT’S ABSURD!” \n\n“HERETICS!” \n\n“BETRAYERS!” \n\nI signaled to Lion who was lounging on a nearby rock cropping observing the chaos with a bored and slightly hungry expression. Slowly and lazily he stood to his paws, stretched briefly and gave a wide yawn that transitioned into an ear-splitting roar. \n\nMost of the herbivores went quiet, while the predators snapped to attention with a mix of irritation and trepidation. Much of the Bird Council quickly lifted themselves from the canopy to the sky above, likely more out of habit than anything. \n\nElephant sighed and flapped an ear in thanks. Lion grunted and flopped back down. \n\n“We need to remain civilized about this,” Elephant said firmly. “But most of all we need to be calm.” \n\n“Easy for you to say!!!” bellowed Howler monkey. He always dominated these group discussions, despite being relatively low in the species ranking. “Your kind would be in the least danger should we go to war.” \n\n“If war does occur,” said Macaque, who had positioned herself atop Elephant’s back. “EVERYONE would be in danger, brother. Even the pachyderms.”\n\n“Yes, but OUR kind would be in even greater peril,” Silverback grunted. \n\n“Our kind?” Bonobo laughed derisively. “Don’t pretend as if we’re in this together.”\n\n“These are troublesome times,” Silverback argued. “We primates need to pool our collective intellect and come up with a solution…”\n\n“Are you implying that you’re somehow smarter than the rest of us!” bellowed Buffalo. \n\nThe circle once again descended into an animalistic frenzy. Elephant lifted her trunk and blew.\n\n“QUIET!” she thundered. “There is no indication that they’re planning anything! We need to reach out and arrange a meeting so that we can come to an understanding.” \n \n“Understand!?” cawed Crow . “Understand what? They don’t even speak our language!”\n\n“Are they even smart enough to have an informed debate?” Wolf pondered. “To my understanding, they pretty much just follow the leader of their pack. They hardly have minds of their own.” \n\n“We have to try!” advised Orangutan. “Like it or not , we need them. Who will pollinate the gardens?” \n\n“Who will tend to the dead?” Opossum asked. \n\n“Who will make the honey!?” said Grizzly. \n\n“What will we EAT?” asked Osprey. \n\nAs more questions arose, the panic rose with it. Elephant tried in vain to get them to quiet down again. It was no use. \n\n“They won’t listen,” she mumbled. \n\n“Of course not,” said a small voice. “Now you know how we feel.” \n\nElephant barely stopped herself from jumping up in fright. If she had, she may have crushed some of her colleagues below. \n\n“Relax,” said the voice. “We’re not here to start a fight.” \n\nHer ear itched and she lifted he trunk in reflex. \n\n“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I know our lives are meaningless to you but if I were to be harmed I imagine my friends would not take it to kindly. And yes, it case you wondered, I did bring friends. And if you wonder how many, the answer is enough.” \n\nElephant dropped her trunk. \n\n“Our demands are simple. First, the Insect and Fish delegations want to be included in all Animal Council meetings henceforth. Flex your ear if you understand.” \n\nShe obeyed. \n\n“Second, there is one animal whose status on the council we can longer condone. We will need your cooperation in ensuring its dismissal, and subsequent elimination. If this is not done, we will be forced to wage war on all of the Mammals, and even the Birds and Reptiles if need be.” \n\nThe hidden passenger directed Elephant toward a particular animal that was sitting aloof and engaged in one of its shining tools. \n\n“We need you to help us get rid of the Humans.” \n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] The world's worst bodyguard tries to fend off the world's worst assassin.	[ "######*Lost in the Sauce\n\nI wanted to gulp down the rest of my drink and ask for five more glasses of wine (four of them for my friends, of course...). The party was going swimmingly. Quite literally. In the backyard, buzzed colleagues and plus ones were laughing and splashing and getting too drunk to swim without designated drivers present. I stood at the balcony of my mansion, watching my guests converse, flirtatiously grabbing and hitting each other's arms on my front yard. I was God. I created this world that allowed these people to experience life to the fullest for just one, unforgettable night. \"How did you two meet?\" I heard someone ask in my fantastical mind. \"Well, we were at this party, and...\"\n\nAnd that was my party.\n\nI went indoors, peering down at the brightly-lit main entrance to my (not so) humble abode. Men and women in black attire offered trays topped with drinks and appetizers to guests. I hired twenty servers. I expected to see fifteen amateur screenplays on my kitchen counter tomorrow morning. You can't get away from hungry actors and writers in LA. Especially when you're a world-accomplished, now retired, director. My trash can would have a lot to chew on tomorrow.\n\nA man dressed in a dark blue suit raised his voice. His head was bald, his arms rippling through his suit. No one tailors suits for bodybuilders.\n\n\"And how do I know,\" the huge man said, \"That this cocktail sauce isn't poisoned? Huh?\" Conversations quieted. Eyes were on him. This was the man who I had hired to protect me tonight. Yet here he was, making a goddamn fool of himself. In what world do bodyguards attract so much attention? And in what world do bodyguards even talk?\n\n\"For that matter,\" he continued. He folded his arms, which were comically bulging through his sleeves. \"How do I know this shrimp isn't poisoned?\"\n\nThe server, a thin blonde woman, said something I couldn't hear from the balcony.\n\n\"Then why don't you taste it?\" the bodyguard said.\n\nAgain, I couldn't hear her response. She did not taste a shrimp.\n\n\"Well I'll have you know,\" he said, his voice now loud enough to clearly hear over the loud music, \"That I was hired by Misses Friedman to protect her life tonight.\" Mrs. Friedman? My wife? She had died six years ago, when I was in Tunisia shooting scenes for a western film. Cancer took her like the Titanic took Jack—cold and fast. What was this goof-off bodyguard thinking? \"And you know what?\" he continued as he stepped an inch from the poor blonde's face. \"I think I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you.\"\n\nA reply from the blonde. Then she turned around. A handgun hung from the front of her pants.\n\n\"Jesus fucking Christ,\" I said. I didn't know when it happened, but my head was in my hand.\n\nThe server retreated into my kitchen. Why did she have a gun? I wanted to run downstairs and tell both of them to leave my property. But the handgun that hung from the server's belt stopped me. No one in their right minds yells at someone with a visible gun. Not even a God like me. Perhaps I could talk to both of them individually. Calmly. I chugged the rest of my wine, watching the most idiotic bodyguard I had ever hired look around, satisfied with his disruption.\n\nI quietly made my way down to the balcony. The party at the entrance to my mansion returned to its previous vibes. All was well again.\n\nI tapped the bodyguard's head-sized shoulder. However, before he could turn to me, the server with the clearly-visible handgun at her side arrived.\n\n\"How's this?\" she said, holding a plate of shrimp.\n\n\"Why don't you try it first?\"\n\n\"Why not this man?\" she said, glancing at me.\n\nI acted surprised. \"Excuse me? What's going on here?\"\n\n\"This kind lady,\" the bodyguard said to me, \"Would like you to try the shrimp. Please, it would be her delight.\"\n\nI took a shrimp, dipped it into the cocktail bowl, and dropped it into my mouth. Tangy. Sweet. Seafoody. Dammit, I love shrimp and marinara.\n\n\"It's great,\" I said. The server gave a condescending smile to the bodyguard.\n\n\"I made the marinara myself,\" she said.\n\n\"Well,\" he said. He spoke with an air of comedic defeat. \"If this random man says it's good, then I suppose it's good. Lemme at it.\" He devoured four shrimps, then spoke with his mouth still half full: \"If this marinara was the last thing I ate, I'd die a happy man.\"\n\nI don't know why the bodyguard I had hired felt it was okay to pig out on shrimp being served by a woman with a clearly visible handgun. I knew this was the last of him I would see. He was a terrible bodyguard. Bulging with enough muscle to make Hercules nervous, sure. Intimidating? Without a doubt. But his intelligence? I was better off hiring a high school quarterback. You need to find a different line of work, I would tell him tomorrow as I fired him.\n\nBefore I could tell the blonde server to offer the shrimp to the party outside, my vision flooded with white. My ears rang. My organs were like a furnace. I couldn't breathe. Before I could panic, my heart stopped pumping blood to my head. I wasn't scared. I couldn't be scared—my body was rotting too quickly to produce the chemicals that could tell my brain to be scared. I only knew what was coming next: Nothing.\n\nI collapsed. Someone beside me also collapsed. That was the last I remembered.\n\n---\n\nI was hired for the fourth time by Inconspicuous Dining Services. Why had they chosen me again? I was just an actress hungry for work on the screen. The only talent I had relevant to catering services was my recipe for a cocktail sauce to die for. I had never tasted it, as I was allergic to tomatoes, but I knew that it had to be good since Inconspicuous Dining Services kept hiring me.\n\nI was a hack. My flavor, I assumed (since I could never taste my marinara) came from my spices: salt, pepper, parsley, oregano, onion, garlic, cyanide, and cilantro. No one could compare. But why would they not just buy the recipe from me? I had offered it to them in exchange for a closed-door meeting with executives that would look at my script. They insisted that only I could execute the recipe properly.\n\nAnyway.\n\nI was so excited to cater for Max Friedman. He had directed at least half of my favorite movies. When he, and some stupid hunk, fell to the floor and died after eating my shrimp and marinara, my heart broke.\n\nNo more catering.\n\nThe first time someone dies after eating your sauce, you think it's coincidence. The fourth time it happens, you have to suspect something.\n\nI left my screenplay on the now-dead Max Friedman's kitchen counter and left. I would quit Inconspicuous Dining Services tomorrow. Maybe I should stop cooking.\n\n---\n\nThanks for reading! [CC]/feedback always appreciated. I have more stories, poems, and songs on [my personal subreddit.](/r/ScottBeckman)", "\"So let me get this straight,\" I said. It was three in the morning, and I was sitting at my kitchen table with my bodyguard and my assassin both right across from me, their hands folded and smiling. \"What happened first was…?\" \n\n\"Well I was guarding your room,\" my bodyguard said. \"The only thing was, I was kind of bored after standing there all day, so I was taking a nap. But no one could tell thanks to my sunglasses! Pretty nifty, huh?\" \n\n\"And then I crept into the house,\" the assassin said. \"The only thing was, I was really excited since it was my first assassination, so I was kind of loud. I stomped on the floor and was giggling with joy, and I woke him up.\"\n\nI rubbed my forehead in frustration. \"So my bodyguard was sleeping on the job, and the person hired to kill me, who should've just silently snuck by him, actually woke him up?\"\n\n\"Yeah, but wait!\" my bodyguard said. \"As soon as I woke up, I was ready. I pointed my gun right at him!\"\n\n\"And I pressed my knife right against his neck!\" the assassin added, looking particularly proud.\n\nI glanced back and forth between them. \"So… then why are you both still alive?\"\n\n\"Oh.\" My bodyguard placed his gun on the table. \"Well this thing is actually just a squirt gun. My mom helped me paint it black. I sold the real one long ago.\"\n\n\"And this,\" the assassin said, placing his blade down too, \"it just came with my assassin Halloween costume. It's pretty high quality plastic though! Much better than my ninja stars. Those came apart after, like, a day.\"\n\n\"Yeah, it's tough being a bodyguard. You don't get paid enough. Pawning off that gun got me a whole cheeseburger!\"\n\n\"Oh man, me too!\" the assassin said. \"I got a cake from the grocery store with the money from my old knife. Ate the whole thing sitting right outside in the parking lot with my bare hands.\"\n\nMy head was now cradled in my palms, unable to believe what I was hearing anymore. When the words came out of my mouth, they were weary and incredulous.\n\n\"So what happened next?\" I asked, enunciating each word.\n\n\"Oh, that's the best part!\" my bodyguard said. \"I realized that I wasn't even guarding your home. I was in my own home, guarding my own bedroom!\"\n\n\"I felt so silly,\" the assassin added. \"I'd accidentally looked up the address for your bodyguard instead of you. Whoops! Rookie mistake.\"\n\n\"When we figured it out, I told him your real address,\" my bodyguard said. \"You know, so that I could go and protect you there.\"\n\n\"And when he told me the address,\" the assassin said, \"I called my cabal and told them where to go to kill you. So it all worked out in the end!\"\n\nI took a deep breath and drummed my fingers on the kitchen table, trying to gather my thoughts before speaking.\n\n\"So then who is going to explain to me why there are a dozen dead bodies on my kitchen floor?\"\n\nSprawled out all over the kitchen tile were black-cloaked bodies, unmoving as they spilled puddles of blood down into the heating ducts at the base of the walls.\n\n\"Oh, that,\" the assassin said with a chuckle. \"Well I didn't want anyone else to get credit for my kill, so I came here and took them all out! I showed them who's a newbie assassin. Now maybe they'll give me the respect I deserve!\"\n\n\"And then when he killed them all,\" my bodyguard said, \"I subdued him, right here in the kitchen. You're safe and sound, thanks to me!\"\n\nI didn't know what to do. The smell of death was overwhelming. I'd been woken up by the sound of screams and blade slashings. I couldn't make heads or tails or anything that was going on anymore.\n\n\"So… why am I still alive, then?\" I asked. \"Or, better yet, why haven't you killed my assassin?\"\n\n\"Oh, about that,\" my bodyguard said. He blushed slightly as he spoke. \"Well you see, we both kind of realized, along the way that…\"\n\n\"We're in love!\" the assassin said, clasping his hands around the bodyguard's. \"We're going to get married next week. Would you do us the honor of performing the ceremony, chief justice?\"\n\n\n\n\"And that,\" the assassin said, sitting in a chair in front of a roaring fireplace, \"is the story of how your father and I met, little Timmy.\"\n\n\"What do you think, son?\" the bodyguard asked. He reached out his hand to his lover. They wrapped their fingers around one anothers' and then gazed deeply into each others' eyes.\n\nSitting on the ground in front of them, little \"Timmy,\" a doll they'd made by wrapping a sock over a pickle jar and Sharpie-ing some eyeballs onto it, fell over onto the ground. The sound caused lights to turn on in the hallway.\n\n\"Hey!\" yelled a man holding a shotgun. \"Who the hell are you?! Get our of my house!\"\n\nThe assassin and the bodyguard ran out the door, holding hands, giggling into the night.\n\n***\nThis prompt was written with the help of chat at the [ScottWritesStuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/ScottWritesStuff/) Twitch stream.\n" ]	2
	[WP] You steak from the poor and give to the rich. You are robbin’ the poor.	[ "\"I'm sorry, Miss Judith, but in your original contract agreement we did specify that if your account becomes overdrawn, you are required to pay back the original sum owed, plus fifteen percent... Yes, yes, I understand that your daughter needed the medication, and that it took a chunk out of your salary, but the terms are stated quite clearly... You want to speak to a manager? Sure, hold on Miss Judith.\"\n\nI mute my microphone, trying my hardest not to laugh.\n\n\"Hey, boss! You're gonna love this one! Another one of those \"oh, but my daughter is sick and I needed meds...\" cases, says she wants to talk to you!\"\n\n\"Hah! Fuck but I love the sick, they're our bread and butter, I'm telling you Ernie! Send her through, make sure you get the recording! I wanna add this to the pile, when I get my next Lamborghini I wanna know who sponsored it!\"\n________________________________________________\n\nCheck out my other writing prompt responses, as well as some short stories, at r/DoopleWrites! Let me know what you think of this one as well! " ]	1
For example: A painting of New York hanging in London would teleport you to New York when stepping through it. Then when turning around and looking at the second painting (in New York), you'd see a painting of the place you just were at in London.	[WP] A world where artists create portals by making two realistic paintings of the places they want to connect.	[ "\"I still don't get what's so important about this one painting,\" I shouted as Sean steadily made his way to the studio, \"It's not like it's going to change the world!\"\n\n\"You really don't want to get it, do you?!\" he shouted back at me and turned around, staring me down in the dark hallway, \"I've told you a million times!!\"\n\nMy mind went back to the countless times over the past couple of weeks he'd just ignored me. Last Thursday he refused to come watch Slipspace 3, never in a million years would I'd thought he'd refuse such an offer. He had been obsessed with that painting for far too long now for it not to have some great significance to him.\n\nSean continued steadily making his way down the hallway with steps the size of a giraffe. He took a sharp turn once entering the studio, tearing through what sounded like paper and light foam. I soundly headed after him to be met with my anxious brother tearing through piles of newspapers from couple of bulging cardboard boxes. I could see drops of sweat dripping down his back.\n\n\"Why have you been ignoring me for all this time?\"\n\nHe abruptly stopped right in his tracks, holding up an old-timey-looking newspaper with pictures of what looked like an elderly couple standing in front of a rustic cabin, the man holding a large canvas with some barely distinguishable figures and shaped painted on it, all in black and white. The sweat on his back evaporated into nothingness, or it had made its way into his gray tracksuit.\n\n\"This...\" he whispered into thin air, \"This is what I've wanted to show you\" he continued and slammed the newspaper down onto the antique table with slathers of paint all over right behind him.\n\n\"So you're telling me an old-timey newspaper is the entire reason you've been completely ignoring me for the last couple of weeks?\"\n\n\"Yes!\" he exclaimed, \"I mean, no...!\"\n\n\"Alright, you're going to have to explain yourself a little more than that.\"\n\nWe sat down at the table, facing each other for the first time in almost three weeks, smiling at that.\n\n\"This newspaper is the key to the future\" he stated.\n\n\"That literally doesn't make any sense,\" I calmly responded, \"How could a, what, like twenty-year-old newspaper hold the key to the future of humanity?\"\n\n\"Take a close look at this article. Just take a moment to take it all in\" he said and handed me over the paper.\n\n\"Elderly couple James and Mary Wind found after two weeks of police investigations, nearly 20 miles away from their New Jersey residence. 'It was like stepping through a painting,' James Wind explains to Jersey Today reporter, 'One instance we were bathed by the calming light of our residence, and the other the gentle humming of the woods filled the atmosphere.' Although the police ran a thorough investigation of the area surrounding the couple's residence and unexpected landing-site, the only thing connected seemed to be two nearly identical paintings, both describing the others surroundings. Police judged the paintings to be relatively harmless, and let the couple keep them as a souvenir of their strange and unexpected hiking-trip.\"\n\n\"I still don't get it\" I said, still baffled by the article I'd just read.\n\n\"As I expected. So an elderly couple, with presumably their only way of transportation being by car, got transported nearly twenty miles in an instant without anyone noticing, you with me?\"\n\n\"I mean, kind of...\"\n\n\"Well good. And the only two things the locations had in common were two paintings each describing the other painting's surroundings, right?\"\n\n\"I think, yes, but what does that have to do with anything?\"\n\n\"Don't you get it you stupid??\" he shouted as he slammed is palms onto the table in slight anger, \"The paintings, John! It was the paintings!\"\n\nThe realization finally dawned on me. It was the paintings.\n\n\"But it seems impossible...\" I whispered.\n\n\"It is impossible, John, but this article proves otherwise.\"\n\nWe both sat in silence for a couple of minutes both regaining our recently lost sense of reality.\n\n\"So what does this finally have to do with the painting?\" I finally asked.\n\nSean walked over to a faintly lit stand with a canvas covered in a white cloth on top of it and slowly pulled off the cloth.\n\n\"This is what I've been working on.\" It looked like the inside of some sort of metal cabin. No, it looked almost like a spacecraft. Cables all around, cramped spaces, clean white aesthetics.\n\n\"A painting of a spacecraft...?\" I said confused.\n\n\"Yes! Remember that guy David from last Thursday?\"\n\nI just shrugged at the thought of last Thursday. \"We were going to watch Slipspace 3...\"\n\nSean returned to his serious expression, looking just as mean and unforgiving as in the hallway.\n\n\"Remember David?\" he asked once again.\n\n\"Well, yes. That guy from NASA, right?\"\n\n\"Yes, he was from NASA. He and I have a sort of a deal,\" Sean said, \"He and his team of engineers have agreed to send one of my paintings aboard their latest research probe.\"\n\n\"One of your paintings? I don't think a painting of a lonely tree on a cliff is going to leave much on an impact on the aliens.\"\n\nSean sighed and continued. \"No you stupid, it's painting of my studio. In a couple of more weeks, he and his team are going to launch HABIT7, a research mission to Saturn. Once it has entered orbit around Saturn, we're going to set this painting in my studio up exactly as framed on the one aboard the probe.\"\n\nMy heart sank as the realization once again stuck me. The paintings from the old newspaper, the miles-long almost instantaneous transportation, it all fit together so seamlessly.\n\n\"Three expertly trained spacefarers are going to come here and enter the painting, and travel to Saturn.\"\n\nThe serious atmosphere around us started to lift, and we soon both had a giant smile of our faces.\n\n\"We're going to be famous, John, we're going to Saturn.\"", "We really thought art phasing would bring about a new era for peace and prosperity, at first only few knew about the portals and it was used to do a great many good deeds. 1000 saved by mysterious portal in Atlanta, 20000 people evacuated in yemen, cat instantly appears in Owners house next to a beautiful portrait of a tree. \n\nThese were the news titles for a few years, we all thought it was God answering our prayers or Angel's coming to display God mercy. Unfortunately, our government seized the few people who knew about the secret and immediately seized those who knew it. We were already had their feet on our necks by the time we figured out what was going on. \n\nThe government had been recruiting artists from schools all over our nations, abducting them and training them to become spies, before you knew it, they had them in every country. It only took 4 weeks, but before you knew it, order 988 was complete All nukes worldwide had already been deactivated and the ones that managed to get lift off were absorbed into aerial paintings supported by drones. \n\nLocations that's the government already knew may not be disabled. Life changed after order 988 was initiated... we couldn't do anything at all, but raise our new flag and begin learning the new states anthem and language. The reeducation centers helped us truly understand why order 988 was the best thing to ever happen, the best thing to ever happen to us all.....", "I took a deep breath, taking in the wonderful scent of pine, the woody aroma cutting through the sharp coldness of early winter. I stood halfway up a mountain, looking out over a valley full of dark greens and browns, and whites. Taller mountains towered above me in the distance, and I spent some time admiring the beautiful scenery. It all just seemed to pure, so splendid... so... just delightful, especially the trees.\n\nThose happy little trees.\n\nI turned around to continue, but only made it a few steps before something off to the right of the path caught my eye. I turned, and found myself looking at an easel. The wooden, three-legged stand had a canvas painting on it, but all it pictured was a dimly lit room with a black curtain in the background. I saw a small table with some painting supplies, but other than that the room was empty. Wondering what a random painting could possibly be doing halfway up a mountain, I stepped closer to investigate. A patch of ice covered the stone before me, and unfortunately, I didn't see it until it was too late. I slipped, my momentum jutting forewords, and I stumbled uncontrollably towards the painting. \"No!\" I cried to myself, worried both for my bodily well-being and for the poor soul whose painting I was about to obliterate with my stumbling existence. I put my hands up as I fell, but instead of colliding with the canvas, they passed through, and I continued falling. My waist hit the bottom edge of the painting, and I flipped forewords, body inverted, legs flying over me, and I landed flat on my back in a dimly lit studio.\n\nI groaned once, and rolled over onto my stomach, then slowly pushed myself to my feet. I heard a soft, curious voice come from behind the curtain.\n\n\"Well goodness, what could that have been?\" the voice asked.\n\n\"Uhh... just me,\" I called back. Didn't want to surprise the fellow. \"Just uh, kinda dropped in. Didn't mean to disturb you.\"\n\nThe curtain swung back as a man stepped through a break in the fabric. The late-middle aged man didn't appear frightened by my arrival. \"Why hello there!\" he exclaimed pleasantly. Then he looked to the side, and spoke. \"It looks like we've got ourselves a guest!\" I followed his gaze and spotted a video camera set up on a tripod, recording the small studio. I also saw a painting behind me of a beautiful early-winter mountain-scape; the exact place I'd been not a minute ago. I turned back to the man, and he held out his hand and smiled. \"I'm Bob Ross. Welcome to my painting show.\"" ]	3
	[WP] You are the world's best surgeon. Some even claim you have the "hands of God." One day a flurry black suited swarm into your hospital. They roll a covered stretcher into your operating room. When you lift the tarp, what you see is far from human.	[ "The operating room doors flung open and Dr. Penson boldly stepped out. He held his head high while a crowd of surgeons followed him. Penson didn’t turn an ear when the other doctors started whispering, but he still heard them clearly. \n\n“I swear, I didn’t know what the words ‘perfect operation’ meant until I met him.” \n\n“He’s a genius, that Penson.”\n\n“The way he moves…That precision. Is he even human?” \n\n“Haha, maybe not. After all, he has the hands of god.” \n\nWhen Penson suddenly stopped, everyone else immediately planted their feet. The head surgeon looked left and right, then he narrowed his eyes. After a few seconds, a fellow surgeon approached him meekly. \n\n“Um, Penson? Is something wrong?” \n\nBefore Penson could respond, the thunderous sound of footsteps filled the hallway. Men in black suits spilled into view, crowding every inch of the hospital floor. Once they found their target, the men rushed towards surgical team. \n\n“Doctor Penson.” The tallest of the black suits called out. “We have a patient that needs urgent attention. You will examine him and then operate immediately.” \n\nPenson blinked slowly as he stared up at the towering man. \n\n“Do I have a choice?” He asked in a steady tone. \n\n“This is a matter of national security.” \n\n“That’s a no then. Bring in the patient and I’ll do what I can.” \n\nWithin minutes, Penson was standing in a clean operating room, staring down at his ‘patient’. The black suits had insisted on covering him with a white sheet and Penson had yet to remove it. From a distance, the bumps underneath the tarp cut a human figure, but that was only from a distance. Up close, and with his trained eyes, Penson could already tell that this patient was something extraordinary. \n\nHe lifted the sheet and the other doctors gasped. \n\nThe patient’s skin was a glistening grey. Parts of it seemed to shake and pulse, even though its owner was clearly unconscious. Penson sucked in a breath as he ran a finger across the patient’s bulbous cranium. After a moment’s hesitation, his fingers pried open one of the creature’s two eyelids—revealing a pure black sphere. \n\n“Grey skin, a big head…” One of the surgeons muttered. “It has two arms and legs, but their shape is...alien.” \n\n“And we’ll be operating under that assumption.” Penson replied. \n\n“We’re treating it as an alien, doctor?” \n\n“The black suits wouldn’t tell me anything. Probably because they don’t know anything. Unless you’ve seen this thing in a textbook, I’m going to call it an alien.” \n\nThe surgeons looked at each other, but no one else spoke up. Finally, they stared at Dr. Penson and nodded in unison. \n\n“Alright.” Penson said. “Let’s get to work.” \n\nAn hour later, they had a complete diagnosis. The alien was suffering from what could only be called a concussion. Penson asserted that the damage to the patient’s head resembled wounds from a crash, rather than an assault. Beyond that, there was a much more serious injury on ‘his’ stomach. Pieces of an unknown material had pierced the patient’s insides and were greatly impeding bodily functions. \n\nSix hours later, the operation was complete. The surgeons were lying against walls or kneeling on the ground. This had been the greatest test that they had ever experienced, and it had left them drained. But even though they had worked themselves to their physical and mental limits, there was a certain electricity in the room. \n\nThey had done it. They had saved this alien’s life. \n\nAnd it was all thanks to Dr. Penson. \n\nThe head surgeon had directed everything flawlessly. His leaps of logic had all landed with a ballerina’s grace. If they didn’t know better, his co-workers would have guessed that he’d done this before. Penson’s orders were just as confident and precise as they were on any other day. He hadn’t faltered for a moment. \n\nEven now, while everyone else was exhausted, Penson was still examining the patient. \n\n“What are you looking at?” Another surgeon asked him. \n\n“Hmm?” \n\nAs Penson turned his head the surgeon suppressed a shudder. Dr. Penson’s eyes were always cold and intense, but somehow, they had become even more unsettling. \n\n“I’m examining the patient’s skin. It seems that this alien can change both its color and shape at will. This kind of camouflage is far beyond what animals like octopus can do.” \n\n“T-That’s very impressive.” \n\n“Actually, it’s quite troubling.” \n\nThe other surgeon cocked his head. “Why’s that?” \n\nWhen Penson didn’t reply, the surgeon took a glance around the room. His co-workers were all lying on the ground. A chill ran along his spine. This couldn’t be explained by fatigue. Before he could say anything, a grey tentacle wrapped itself around his throat. \n\n“It’s very troubling.” Penson repeated. “I thought I was the only one of my kind.” \n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a lycanthrope, but instead of transforming in a human-wolf hybrid every full moon, you are transformed in a human-squirrel hybrid. This is your story.	[ "\"I am fear incarnate, terror in mortal flesh.\" Jack tensed his muscles and bulged his eyes, trying to seem as big as possible. \"Hear me roar!\"\n\nSilence descended on the upper branches of their home, leaving only the rustling of a gentle wind. Then a cough as if barely escaping its owner, followed by a high-pitched cackling. The laughter continued for some time, emerging throatily from the tree house, which was nestled high and cozy right where the tree trunk split to form the upper canopy.\n\nSally doubled over and pressed her hands to her sides, trying to stem her laughter. She had difficulty getting her words out, \"More like... a squeak!\"\n\nJack stood stock still, his chest puffed up indignantly. \"Laugh as much as you want, Sally, but it is I who brings the Shinies and the Baubles and the Gifts. It is I who control this tree.\"\n\n\"You don't control it through fear, Jack. You control it through your frenetic and high paced energy.\" Sally laughed again, this time it sounded more like a melody than a cackle. \"I am here to support you. If you need to role-play being a human every couple of weeks, I'll humor that.\" She fluffed up her tail and gently began to groom it with her fingers, picking out flecks of wood and dust. \"But don't be acting all high and mighty up here. You bring the Shinies. You guard this tree, but I make the rules inside our tree house.\"\n\nJack, suitably admonished, stared down at his little paws, his tail flicking back and forth. He mumbled an apology. \"Sorry, Sally.\"\n\n\"It's okay Jack. What are you wearing tonight for your... foray?\"\n\nJack's eyes lit up. Forgetting his just-recently submissive demeanor, he scampered into the tree house and reappeared carrying a piece of white plastic marked with blue symbols. \"I have observed humans with these. They love them. They carry things in them when they emerge from the large buildings across the road.\"\n\n\"Curious...\" Sally said, touching the material. She didn't like how it felt.\n\nJack threw it over his head. \"Can you tie this part behind my neck?\" Once Sally accomplished that, Jack tore a hole in the plastic and triumphantly thrust his head upwards. \"How do I look!?\"\n\nSilence descended again, it stretched for a moment, listening to Jack's little beating heart, yearning to hear acceptance in Sally's voice. \n\n\"It's... you look great, Jack.\" Sally smiled a smile that didn't meet her eyes. She turned and went inside.\n\n Beaming at Sally's complement Jack began to descend the tree to the world of humans, the words \"Walmart\" prominently flapping across his back.\n\n&#x200B;", "My tailbone itches. I scratch it and feel a small fluffy stump emerging. Thank God it’s autumn. Lots of acorns and nuts to find. Nothing that can go horribly wrong tonight. My encounter with the rabid squirrel two years ago was a blessing and a curse. Mostly a curse though.\n\nWhen it’s full moon, my nut-sense kicks in. I scour the woods surrounding the village. I dart from tree to tree, sweeping up hazelnuts, chestnuts and acorns. Just like a real squirrel, I hide them. Sometimes I forget where I hid my horde. But the amount I find isn’t easy to bury, which means I retrieve them quite easily. Too bad I’m allergic to nuts. So, I resort to selling them. Older people like that they can buy them from me. Every autumn I amass a small fortune. That’s about it as far as blessings go. Children are pissed off that there isn’t a nut left in the forest for them to find. I guess that the real squirrels aren’t that fond of me either.\n\nSometimes I’m not able to get home before I change back. When that happens, I tend to get stuck high up in some tree. Not funny when you are afraid of heights.\n\nI also had to get rid of my dog. Although I only change once every 28 days, the smell sticks apparently. He just kept attacking me, chasing me down. I really miss Boomer. And hate the rest of the dogs in the village.\n\nBut that’s not even the worst of it. You would think being a werewolf is bad, because you kill everyone in the village. Being a Weresquirrel is even worse. When winter kicks in and there are no more nuts to be found in the woods, I appear to go hunting for other nuts. The mentioning of the weresquirrel strikes fear in the hearts and pants of all men in the village. I’m happy when I forget where I hid the nuts during winter. Plausible Deniability. At the current rate it won’t take long before the last kid is born in our village.\n\nI can feel my incisors growing. The pain is unbearable. My ears are becoming fluffy. The giant red tail erupts from my pants. Thank God it’s autumn." ]	2
	[WP] A Klaxon wails over London. Troops are roused. Conscription is reinstated. Invasions are started worldwide. The sun is setting on the British empire, and they're not giving up without a fight.	[ "I woke to the sound of the klaxon blaring outside my window. I realized that I had fallen asleep at my desk, a stack of folders and binders next to my elbow. For a brief second I started to wonder where I was but it all came flooding back. Mr Ainsworth had given me the task to organize the meeting with the Canadian Foreign Office and I assume I lost track of time. I started to gather my things hat, coat, briefcase, the klaxon still blaring and wondered would I go for the shelter in the Ministry of Defense or should I go straight for the underground when I stopped. \n\nI had lived through a lot of those surprise visits the Luftwaffe decided to schedule with us. The whirring of the Heinkel engines often woke me and Samantha up at night but that was what made me stop. I walked past my desk and opened the window. Pointing my head towards the heavens, I listened. I couldn’t hear any of the Junkers Jumo 211 engines that the jerries like to fit in their bombers. Looking down at the street I expected to see people trying to get to the underground but what I saw surprised me even more.\n\nSoldiers, soldiers of the British army in full uniform. There were sections climbing into Bedford QL trucks, some gathering in shops and cafes and some being inspected by officers. I closed the window, more confused then I had ever been in my entire life, and started to turn towards the door when I het the edge of my desk. Amid the pain in my side I realized I had knocked over my Parsons desk calendar that Simon had bought me as a birthday present last year. I picked it up and placed back. Out of curiosity I glanced at the date \n\n1st September 1940\n\n Then Simon burst in through my door. Keeping one hand on the handle and the other against the door frame he stared at me for a few seconds, breathing heavily. “Simon!” I exclaimed “what the bloody hell is going on?” He looked quizzically at me “What do you mean what’s going on? The invasion’s started!” It was only then that I realized what he was wearing. Over his Saville Row three piece suit he wore a harness with ammunition pouches. Over the flap of one I even saw the .303 cases. “The higher ups have started to gather all essential personnel and gather them in the war rooms” Simon stated matter of factly. Before I had time to wonder why I was considered “essential” he yanked my arm and pulled me out of the office. I followed him as we walked briskly down the corridor. People passed by us men, women, old, young but they all had the same look on their face. Fear, uncertainty but also determination. Simon started to tell me what happened. “Some of the boffins over at Bletchley park recovered an intact enigma device from a kraut u-boat.” he stated “Last night we picked up chatter announcing the beginning of ‘operation: sea lion’. This morning patrol of hurricanes spyed the invasion fleet, the entire bloody kriegsmarine!!!” He had become breathless by this point and he had to stop talking. “But I have to get home! I told him “I have to make sure Samantha is safe!” “She’ll be fine! He told me “they’ve only just landed, I doubt they’ll make it to London.” Somehow that statement didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.\n\nWe stride down the steps of the Dominions Office, passing by many people including David Fitzgerald, one of my bosses. We walked down the streets at first passing by normal civilians, parents, the elderly but as we turn the corner we start striding by soldiers. Royal Engineers, tank commanders, foot soldiers were gathered underneath the cover of cafes and pubs. It was at that moment that it hit me. We were fighting on our own soil. Blood would be spilled in English fields. \n\nWe descended the steps beneath the treasury building and we emerged into a big underground command center. Women were answering phones, men in uniforms were pointing at giant maps on the wall and people were running back and forth carrying important messages. I overheard bits of conversations. \n\n“Sir! We have reports of German paratroopers landing in Kent and Sussex with support from seaborne landings in Dorset!”, \n“The RAF is receiving heavy casualties!!”, “Home guard units from Hastings, Eastbourne and Walmington-on-Sea are engaging german forces!”\n“Where’s the bloody navy?!!”\n“The Home Fleet is being engaged in the North Sea sir! The the channel force is trying to breakthrough to cut them off!”\n\nIt was madness. Simon ushered me over towards a group of army officers, pointing over a map of southern England with red arrows from France pointing at the south coast. I recognized them at once from newsreels. There was John Dill, Chief of the General Staff, Field Marshal Alan Brooke, Dill’s subordinate and commander of the forces in southern England and General Claude ‘The Auk’ Auchinleck. There was another general there too but I couldn’t remember his name. He wore a beret with two badges in it and I remember the troops called him ‘Monty’. They all turned to their left and saluted at something. I turned and suddenly realized who exactly they were saluting at. Walking towards the table, cigar in mouth was Winston Churchill. Flanked by his close friend Jan Smuts he came up to the table and looked at the map. Lifting the cigar out of his mouth he started to talk in the voice that had roused the fighting spirit of a nation. “It appears the enemy has come to us gentlemen” he said “it certainly saves time for us to come up with an invasion plan.” I thought that this wasn’t the best time for jokes but I chuckled all the same. “Remember gentlemen, evacuate the civilians from the southern towns and cities, the Nazi menace will spare them no quarter” . Churchill turned away from the generals and turned toward me and Simon. “Ah, Thompson” he said to Simon “I trust everything is going according to plan with our overseas dominions?” Simon straightened as he realized he was now speaking with the Prime Minister. “Canada, Australia and New Zealand have pledged their support and have started to send volunteers”before proceeding he glanced nervously at Smuts. “But there are many members in the South African government who don’t want to send troops”. Smuts shuffles slightly with an embarrassed looks on his face. Churchill turned to him, “Don’t worry” said Churchill turning to Smuts, “I’m sure they will help us, especially when Her Hitler’s Afrika Korps is marching on the gates of Johannesburg”. \n\nThe prime minister then turned and noticed me. “Who are you?” He asked as if confused I was real at all. “This is Thomas Smith, he’s one of our main men in the delegation to the Canadians”. “He’s very capable” he added almost as if to reassure both him and myself. The prime minister stepped forward and shook my hand. “Everything alright with our friends in the new world?” I stuttered at first but I replied. “Mackenzie King has pledged to send 4 divisions of Canadian soldiers and 2 Armoured divisions sir.” “Good man” he replied. Turning towards us all he began to speak. “Remember gentlemen, this is the climactic battle which will decide on the fate of this nation, of this empire, for the survival of European democracy itself ! We need to do everything in our power to push this jackbooted murderers back into the sea!!” Stopping for a breath he carried on. “Gentlemen this is our darkest hour but I have no doubt that we will emerge from this into the light!” He then turned and walked towards the bunch of navy officers next to the map on the wall. Simon patted me on the shoulder with a smile on his face and turned to talk to the army officers. At that point I felt as if I could have a heart attack. I put my hand to my breast and I felt something bulge there. I reached into my coat and pulled out my wallet. I opened it and pulled out a photo of me and Samantha. It was taken on Brighton beach in 1936 me in my pinstriped trousers and shirt, Samantha in her floral dress. 2 hours after this picture was taken I proposed to her on the moonlit beach and she said yes. Since then I made sure to do everything in my power to make sure I looked after her. I loved her more than life itself. Two nights ago we even talked about having children. I knew that I had to stay here. \n\nI was working here not only for the safety of the empire but for her safety. \n\n\n\nIt’s my first time writing something like this so if anyone reads this shit, go easy" ]	1
	[WP] The most evil man is crying. He feels guilty for the first time in his life.	[ "Hidden in the shadows, he leaned against the wall. His muscles ached, his breath was haggard. Police sirens rang, people walked by, cars drove fiercely…and yet no one noticed him. No one saw his blood, his trail, his pain.\n\nHe felt tears, yet he could not understand why. He’d achieved his goal. He’d won at last, and yet he was crying. He took a deep breath, stood up straight, away from the wall. This caused him pain, physical pain. The sirens grew louder, more in the mix. A search was underway…not that he’d need be worried. No one noticed him.\n\nHe stuck to the shadows, his tears couldn’t stop. His chest felt heavy. His legs felt like stone. Something was boiling, but he did not know what. A gush of something, a flood of anger? But there was nothing for rage. Nothing for fury. He’d won at last, and yet he was crying. It could not be rage. It could not be anger. This something was not fury. \n\nA dog barked in the distance. It barked with urgency. It picked up something. He hurried his steps, not that he was worried. His pain had reached his throat. It felt full, full of snot. He was not sad though. He was well and truly happy, but he knew he wasn’t smiling. He’d won and yet he couldn’t smile. \n\nThe shadows were getting smaller, he heard radios in his vicinity. Police sirens were deafening. Dogs barked with hysterically. He felt his back convulse. His muscles spasmed. Yet all he could think, all he could feel, was the lump in his throat, the weight in his chest, his stone heavy legs. \n\nHe fell to his knees. Out of the shadows. Now people saw him, his pain was truly present. The police sirens stopped, the dogs barking silenced. The area around him was quiet. He knew what he felt. Something he didn’t know he could. His tears made sense. His chest felt right. This feeling was guilt.\n\nPainful.\n\nDreadful.\n\nGuilt.\n" ]	1
	[WP] just a humble merchant, trying to sell her wares	[ "\"Fish! Fish! Candied fish!\n\nTastes quite sweet in any dish!\n\nNow 10% off!\"\n\nThe crowd passed her by.\n\n\"Candy! Candy! Buy some candy!\n\nOh so sweet, and fine and dandy!\"\n\nA young gal in an intricate gown, daughter of the local mob boss, bought a single chocolate bag at full price.\n\nThe merchant pocketed her money.\n\n\"Thank you, dear. Do tell all your friends about my store!\"\n\nShe blew the young girl a kiss good-bye, and continued to hawk her wares.\n\n\"Chamber pots! Get yer chamber pots here! \n\nFreshly sculpted, and with our unused guarantee!\n\nOur pots are rainwater tested, no ifs ands or buts, except yours on our molded clay seats!\n\nNow buy one get one free for families of four or more!\"\n\nSeveral families in outlander's garb approached, new to the city, they were in desperate need.\n\nThey bought all of her pots, and some candies, too.\n\n\"Come again, dears!\"", "“Wonderful Jewlery! All the way from Neudessia!” I was shouting at the top of my lungs from the booth at the Market. And then I saw her. It was like she radiated importance. And then I heard some of the travelers muttering\n“Thats her, The Hero..”\nOh my god. The Hero? She could learn any skill with ease. She could fight better than highly trained soldiers from any country. I had to get her to buy my wares.", "- Oh no my lord, these a but simple wares I sell. See ? Pendants, common herbs, pretty luck stones, and little figurines my nephew sculpts in his free time. Would you want to have something ? For such a grand lord as you, my humble self would provide the first set of 5 items for free. Would be a honor to have such a customer.\n\nThe man looked common, except for his blind eye. Humble indeed he was, wearing more herds than clothing. Might even have some poacher crimes to account for. Bah. As one of the highlords of this nation, it was not up to him to punish such a troublemaker. however those wares really looked low quality, the lord had an eye for valuables. He pointed to a pendant ornated with tiny teeth, asking what it was.\n\n- My lord has a sharp gaze. Squirrel teeth are on this one, for power in the bed, and out of it alike. a charm made off their fur grants a good fragrance from the wearer, no matter the conditions. But would you take the two, expertly carved bone of the tiny things might even...\n\nThe highlord stopped the \"merchant\" here. He needed no help for his duties, and had enough influence already. However, an undelicate infection had taking in his leg, and the smell of it... Any exentric lie would be a hope, and for free he could not care less about being fooled. He took the three items, the bone being concealed in a little wood figurine to hep the frightened not to be suspicious. A purse of herbs to easy its intestines, and there hegoes away. The merchant was happy, a grin on his face.\n\n- Just an humble merchant, selling my humble wares. Weaving luck and health, for those who come and hear. But for the bone he didn't listen, and for that will be crushed. For such a fate the squirrels must die, so the next one might not cry. Irresistible is goodf or a farmer, for a lord it is a trap. But my role is to sell and see, destiny comes to that.\n\nIn a greenish light, the common looking man revealed its crooked body, and an unearthly gaze in his bad eye. Next day was no shop, next week was no news. By the end of the month, everyone heard about a highlord who seduced the queen, and was executed for this. \n\nA crooked smile always shine in the dark. For, from the best of luck, you may face your demise." ]	3
	[WP] "Man, all that showboating and big magic sigils, and you old folks haven't realized the simple elegance of a gun with an enchantment. You need to get with the times."	[ "Saph wanted to argue with me, but the hole through Mephistopheles head, and the signature yellow smoke pouring from it, killed any argument as sure as my bullet had killed the devil. After the clan of Fausted we'd run into last week, we'd been focused on the hunt, but Saph and Jed had refused, as always, to let me experiment. Fortunately, I'd had enough time on my own to ignore their objections.\n\n\"You idiot!\" Jeb roared. \"Do you realize what you've done!\"\n\n\"Killed one of the oldest demons out there.\"\n\n\"This will lead to escalation. We were saving that sort of stunt for a time where nothing else will work.\"\n\n\"What, you expect them all to start wearing 'unholy Kevlar' if they hear us coming?\"\n\n\"Maybe. I'm more worried what happens when they start using guns. You got an armor to fight that?\"\n\n\"Holy Kevlar?\"\n\n\"Gimme that gun,\" Saph said, taking it from me. \"I'm going to shoot him myself.\"\n\n\"Alright, I get your point. But how are they going to find out? The only demon to see it is dead. And we're going to burn the corpse like always.\"\n\nA pause. Then Jeb said, \"You got lucky this time.\"\n\n\"Yeah, I get 'lucky' a lot.\"" ]	1
	[WP] "You know how this will end, right?" To everyone's surprise, you indeed know, how will it end.	[ " \n\n“I can’t be the only one who knows where this is all going to, can I?” I could not believe it, but everybody kept having that vacuous look on their faces.\n\n“You guys seriously don’t know how this will end?”\n\n“No, in fact we don’t. I have no experience with what we are doing.” Giving his current situation, it seemed Bert was not even kidding.\n\n“Well, you’re in for a surprise then. But as a sneak preview, it’s going to be brutal. Especially for you.”\n\n&#x200B;\n\n“I’m not going to be in jail forever.” Bert did not look me in the eyes when he said that, instead he stared at his thimble that he was nervously touching.\n\n“That’s true, but you have been in jail for too long. Everything you wanted is gone. It’s bought and payed for, but unfortunately not by you.”\n\n“I really hate it when you are that smug.” Bert now started staring at my top hat with a growing sense of resentment.\n\nAll of a sudden, Jimmy raised his voice. “But it’s all so complicated! How can you know how this will end when most of us can’t even grasp what is going on at the moment?”\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt was hard not to laugh at their ignorance. The time had come to end any lingering delusions. “Whatever happens, the ending of our endeavor here is set in stone. One of us is going to be very pleased with himself. By the looks of it, that one of us is going to be me. Bert and Jimmy, you two are going to grow very desperate very fast. You probably get angry and leave the game before it is even finished, therefore making sure there is no real ending at all.” I paused when I felt their growing hostility towards me. I decided not to care. “If nobody quits, we could go on for a very long time, but there is no way you suckers are going to last that long.”\n\n“And why exactly would I grow desperate?” Jimmy asked defiantly.\n\n“Because -and I can’t believe you haven’t noticed- you are on Mayfair now. The place where I just built a hotel.” Robert looked up and started cursing. \n\n“And your prospects look especially grim since mortgaging is not going to help you very much, you only own Whitechapel Road and King Cross station. They are worth shit.”\n\nBert started laughing when he saw the misery on Jimmy's face. \n\n“And Bert, you may not yet be willing to accept your fate, but you’re also doomed. Owning Piccadilly is fine and all, but having the bad luck to go to jail 3 times in a row, without passing Go. That’s not looking good either. And with this game, once you’re losing, the only way is down. \n\nBert’s smile died instantly. “Well, that’s fine and all and I’m happy you finally found something you are good at.” He forced his face in an insincere grin. Then he continued snapping back. “Congratulations. Very well done, I’m proud of you. But at least I work at an actual electric company in real life. While you should really focus on getting a job mate.”" ]	1
	[WP] Alien corporations figure out that outsourcing jobs to Earth is much more economical... You work in customer support.	[ "The Question.\nYou know the one I mean, everyone who has ever done this knows the one i mean. After 20 years doing this for different companies I must have asked the Question a million times to a million different people. I was ready for a change, so when I heard of Interstellar INC I thought I had found the perfect job. \n\nDon't get me wrong I love talking to people so working at a call center was a great job for me. Sure there was the occasional dick but the hours were good. I just hated the Question.\n\nInterstellar INC offered me what sounded like a great opportunity. Keep doing what I love but also be able to talk to beings form other worlds. Imagine the things you could learn, the places you could here about; the wonder of the universe at the end of a phone! It was as close as a guy like me would ever get to the stars. And the money didn't hurt.\n\nBut the Question followed me. Callers from other worlds, beings made of gas, minds of energy, entities as old as the galaxy and the Question was still the same. \n\nIt never changed. It haunted my dreams. The universe at my finger tips and all I had was the Question.\n\n\"Have you tried turning it off and on again?\"" ]	1
	[WP] Every moment of your life has had famous pieces of orchestral music acting as your background music. Each one fits to the type of day and mood you are having. Everyday has had such peaceful music up until this point when the tune of O Furtuna begins to play.	[ "The violent vocals, the overtures on organ and the thunderous timpani. These all shocked me from my repose. Something wasn’t right. The peace and serenity of vilvadi, the reverent grace of Bach, and the enduring chaos of Beethoven was all replaced by O’ Fortuna. My mind raced and panicked. Was I to die? My end near? What was to assail me? The violent music continued as I searched and searched the room for any sign or clue. Eventually my eyes spotted it. “How could I forget?” My astute vision picked up what my panicked mind missed. I grabbed the dvd and made my way to the video store post haste. \"There was no way in hell I’m paying a late fee for Jack and Jill!\"" ]	1
	[WP] Two opposing warriors meet on a battlefield. Their fight ends with a cup of tea.	[ "\t\"The man hating amazons have brought their greatest warrior, Oh Sharpened Shield!\"\n\tThe older man astride the horse nodded at the young scout. \n\t\"There is a hundred thousand of them. So says Crouching Cat. And likely more in the forest beyond!\"\n\t\"How many archers?\" the warrior asked calmly.\n\t\"I- I did not-\"\n\t\"You saw the throngs and counted them all warriors alike. Look upon our own thousands. Are all they warriors? Scouts? Archers?\"\n\tThe young man hung his head in embarrassment. He had not.\n\t\"Most of our forces are the builders, the cooks, the traders and scavengers. They are just as far from their homeland as we are ours. Go look again. Tell Captain Hickory to match archer for archer.\"\n\tThe young man bowed and sprinted off. \n\t\"Still teaching?\" Another of the horsemen edged his way to stand next to the warrior.\n\t\"While I still can.\"\n\t\"That does not fill me with hope for this outcome, old friend.\"\n\t\"Whether I prevail or not, this is my last battle. One must leave the battle field or be left upon it.\"\n\t\"There’s a reason we don’t have you cheering our warriors on before battle,\" he remarked sourly.\n\t\"If I had my way, there would never be a war.\"\n\t\"And you are sure they will not renege on this arrangement?\"\n\t\"It is honor. Just be sure the archers know. They are to kill any who try to interfere. Only two will fight today.\"\n\t\"And tomorrow?\"\n\tThe warrior only shrugged.\n\t\"Shield-\"\n\t\"And my name is Ben,\" he grouched before spurring the horse away. \n\t\n\tThe battlefield was a large sandy dip left from a seasonal stream. To the south, land slowly rose into forests, to the north, grasslands rose until the edges of mountains. For a hundred kilometer, it was just broad open plains spotted with deposits of sand. On this day, women in leather and green tunics guarded the forest side, men in armor and rough wools to the north. They glared across the space at each other, marking each shift of forces. \n\tBoulders splashed with paint marked out an arena. Just inside the south side, a woman warrior tended a fire. She used her swords to shift the coal until it was to her liking and placed a pot on the coals. She glanced up at another woman outside the marks.\n\t\"Fire to keep your weapons hot?\"\n\tShe scowled.\n\t\"No. For tea,\" she responded tersely, \"In case I am thirsty.\"\n\t\"Anna- must it be this?\"\n\t\"How many do you desire to die?\" Anna asked.\n\t\"None!\"\n\t\"No woman, you mean,\" Anna chided, \"But lay all men to waste and poison the plains with blood, isn’t it?\"\n\tThe woman flushed at the accusation. \n\t\"When you seek none to die, neither your own nor your worst enemy, then you may be a warrior.\"\n\t\"We all die,\" she looked down at her feet, not up, \"And make others die is a pointless exercise of hastening the inevitable.\"\n\t\"You parrot the words but do not embrace them. On this day, I shall fight and no other woman. You be sure the archers understand they must prevent any other but us chosen warriors from fighting. Only us upon this field.\"\n\t\"Yes Anna-\"\n\t\"General Anna.\"\n\t\"Yes, General Anna.\"\n\tThe chastised woman bowed and left. Anna turned back to the field, spotting the approaching horse. She slid her swords back in their scabbards. The man dismounted at the north edge, walking toward the center as she did the same. A few feet from each other, the stopped, wordlessly appraising each other. \n\tHe was tall and lean, weathered and bleached by sun. She was stout and short, sturdy as the trunks of the forest and dark like the shadows. They placed fist in palm and bowed to one another. \n\tAs they straightened, both pulled their swords out in swift motion, sun catching the action. The crowds around them roared with approval. They scowled at one another.\n\tBoth moved at once, as if they were mirror images of their motion. Swords clashed together. His reach was better, but her speed kept his sword at bay. When he moved to kick, she tumbled away. He leapt, turning in midair to meet her as she stood, but her sword met his along the way. Straining against each other, they locked eyes.\n\t\"Really? That same old pigsticker?\" he asked.\n\t\"You can’t seem to give up that antiquated calvary rapier, can you?\" she retorted. \n\tThey pushed away, giving each other space to regroup. Around them voices shouted, too distant to catch what was said, only the tone carrying on the breeze. Dust stirred up by their fighting swirled around them. \n\tBen tossed his sword upward, and it came back down, point first to bury itself in the sand.\n\t\"If you’d rather pass on weapons,\" he offered.\n\tShe slid her flatter sword through the hilt of his. It sat, flat side up.\n\tCries of protest echoed over the field.\n\t\"I should hate to chip and dull it when that is not what shall win this,\" she agreed.\n\t\"Is there anything to win?\" he asked as they sparred with strikes and kicks.\n\t\"I do not know,\" she admitted, \"The honored dead become deities. Spiteful words become vows to the faithful.\"\n\t\"And the last cry of a child?\"\n\t\"Years gone. The last born is many years a woman. As seems so of your young men.\"\n\t\"And those who began this, honored for it, so created this doom.\"\n\tThe both stepped back, ignoring the cries around them. \n\t\"Is this the example we are setting?\" she asked, her voice straining to get the words out. \n\tHe smiled, his face lightening with delight at her careful words.\n\t\"I hoped you were suggesting another tact.\"\n\tFrom his tunic he produced two tea cups and a small, slightly crushed flower. \n\tShe offered a slight smile, her face brightening as well. As she reached for one, he lifted his arm out of reach.\n\t\"They are expecting a show,\" he whispered.\n\t\"Don’t expect a standing ovation,\" she warned.\n\tShe spun, making a reach for the other cup, but he evaded her by twisting away. She kept at it, seeming to want a cup yet actually herding him toward the south edge and her fire still smoldering, Somewhere in the process, the flower wound up in her hair, tucked behind her ear. Her warriors gathered at the edge, hands on weapons, faces fierce. \n\tAnna swooped down, catching the pot by the leather handle. Ben retreated as she swung it about, drawing her back to where they’d started. She feinted with it, gaining roars of approval. The tea sloshed and Ben swiftly caught each spill in a cup. By the time they reached the center, the cups were full. Anna swung the pot around, as Ben danced away then placed it by the swords. She backed away and Ben placed the cups on the flat of her blade. \n\tAs suddenly as they began, they knelt facing each other, an arms length away. Each took a cup, sipped. \n\t\"So, king and queen had a spat,\" Ben began.\n\t\"And both too proud to give each other ground,\" Anna agreed.\n\t\"So all the kingdom split, man to man, woman to woman.\"\n\t\"And all still to proud to see the doom that brings.\"\n\t\"I did not want this.\"\n\t\"Nor I. But we gave oaths.\"\n\t\"Oaths to the dead. Why couldn’t we mend then?\"\n\t\"For the same reason they do not want us to mend now.\"\n\tThe momentary quiet of the shocked crowd began to murmur in anger.\n\t\"Well… perhaps,\" Ben glanced edgewise at the growing unrest, \"We are giving them cause to unite.\"\n\tAnna also glanced about.\n\t\"You did have a plan?\"\n\t\"I am sick of fighting. I want my life back.\"\n\t\"No plan. Why break tradition?\"\n\t\"Anna-\"\n\t\"I want the same, but absent another brilliant idea, I think we’re going to have to run for it.\"\n\t\"East.. The swamps,\" he suggested. \n\t\"Yes..,\" she reluctantly agreed. \n\tThey drank the last bit of tea, grabbed their weapons and bolted east. The crowds hesitated, then gave chase.\n\t\"I think I remember doing this before,\" Ben gasped as they ran.\n\t\"It was a heck of a honeymoon!\" Anna agreed." ]	1
	[WP] You are a dog who loves his owner to no end. But when gangsters break in and kill him, you will stop at nothing to bring them hell. You are John Lick.	[ "Simba threw the door to his father's office open. Never having been trusted by his father to do a job, he couldn't wait to report to his father that the job was done.\n\n\"Father,\" said Simba with his arms open wide walking toward his father. Standing with him was Simba's uncle, Oscar who had his back turned toward the door reaching into a cabinet.\n\n\"Son.\" Simba's father embraced him with a hug. This was not unusual for his father but something felt off. \n\n\"Father, the jobs is done. We made sure no one-\" A dull thud filled the room and Simba fell to the floor gasping for air.\n\nWalking over to a table, Oscar placed down two bowls. \"Maybe I should leave\" he said looking at his brother.\n\n\"No stay,\" he said looking down at Simba in disappointment. \"I need a witness here so I don't kill this fucking idiot.\"\n\nOscar just stood by the table as Simba struggled to stand. Still struggling for breath he looked at his father confused.\n\n\"You fucked up son. Every fucking time you do something to fuck it all up.\" He reached it the cabinet and pulled out a bottle then walked to the table Oscar was standing near.\n\n\"We made sure no one saw us,\" Simba's said walking toward his father. \"No one will ever find the body.\"\n\n\"I'm not talking about that.\"\n\n\"Tell me then.\"\n\n\"The human,\" said Simba's father placing the bottle on the table.\n\n\"What about him? He's dead.\" Simba said with a puzzeled look on his face. \"Milo made sure of that three times.\"\n\n\"It's not about who you killed, son. It's about who you didn't kill. Remember when you were little, I would tell you the story of the Boogeyman and all of the bad things he did? There is someone who is even more bad. I once saw him kill a man with his own tongue. His own. Fucking. Tongue.\"\n\n\"You mean the dog? What is a stupid dog going to do?\"\n\n\"That stupid dog,\" said Simba's father, \"is John fucking Lick.\" He emptied the bottle into the two bowls and handed one to Oscar draining his own in one gulp. \"You remember the stories of the Chihuahuas terrorizing everyone and everything? He's the one they sent to take care of them. Even when they went into hiding he sniffed them out.\"\n\n\"Father, let me take care of it. Let me finish-\"\n\n\"Are you not listening\" Simba's father interrupted. \"Is he not listening\" he turned to Oscar. Turning back to Simba, another dull thud filled the room.\n\n\"Jesus christ, Mr. Whiskers I'm gonna lea-\"\n\n\"I said stay god damnit\" he said picking up his son of the floor. \"Listen to me. I said listen to me! As many times as you have fail me I have always loved you. As a father it is my job to protect you but there are thing that can't be protected from. Go and live the little life you have left.\"\n\nSimba leaves as Mr. Whiskers walks up to a painting behind his desk. He pulls the corner of the painting and it swings open like a door revealing a safe. He opens up the safe and pulls out a little book and starts looking through the pages. When he finally finds what he is looking for, he walks over to the telephone and dials a number. It rings only once before it's picked up.\n\n\"Hello John.\"\n\nSilence.\n\n\"Sorry to hear that the vet wanted to neuter you.\"\n\nSilence.\n\n\"John, let us not resort to our basic animal instincts and settle this like gentlemen.\n\nSilence.\n\n\"John?\"\n\n\"Nick nack paddywhack give a dog a bone.\"\n\nMr. Whiskers gently placed the phone down looking ill. \"What did he say\" asked Oscar.\n\nMr. Whiskers turned toward Oscar sweating.\n\n\"He's coming.\"\n", "Did u heard about the guy who had his master killed? I heard he is just a kid and of smaller size too. Wonder what he is gonna do?\n\nThe husky asked St. Barnard.\n\nU mean the one with long ears? St. Barnard asked. \n\n\nDid u know his ancestors used to hunt those long beak freaks who could swim AND walk AND fly?? I pity the killers. \n\nWe don't call those long ears \"BaBa YaGa\" for nothing. \n", "I am the best boy. That was what he said in the moments that my master left that shell of himself behind. This can not be forgiven. I knew my master was a very capable human, I smelled the blood of his prey on him many times. Unfortunately, I am just the best boy and I can not do what he did.\n\nI wandered through the city looking for the smell of the man that was on most of the ones that came into my home and took my master from me. I knew he was the one responsible and after looking for so long, I finally found him. I smelled him coming closer, it was the smell of alcohol, cigars and cologne that no self-respecting human should ever wear. Finally, my plan was coming together.\n\nAs he came closer I picked up my hind leg and started limping towards him. I could smell his concern for me and I knew this would work. I was a beagle, I knew this because so many said I was a beautiful beagle. Which meant there were many others that looked like me. I also knew that being cute could be used to my advantage along with my previous masters.\n\nHe stopped in front of me and picked me up to look at me, I had to keep going. I licked his nose and never felt more like a bad boy than I did in that moment. But I knew I was a good boy, my master told me I was. \"You look like the same type of dog that pathetic fool had that my men killed a while back.\" The horrible smelling man said. \"I think I will call you John Lick.\" His laugh let all of the stench from his mouth come out in waves.\n\nHe let me in his home and fed me the finest foods. Meats from all different creatures. One he called a lion, another he named a bear. If not for the circumstances, this might have been the best time of my life. Instead I was forced to play along. Finally he brought me into his room and I got to sleep at the foot of his bed. This went on for a few weeks and finally my chance had come, he was passed out from drinking too much alcohol. I bit his foot to see if he would wake and he did not. I crept up to where I could reach his neck and chewed my way into him, he never even woke up but I knew he was dead. I sat next to him and waited for his servants to come. I was a good boy so I sat there through the night. His blood dried into my hair.\n\nAs she entered the room she began screaming and it was then I knew that it was time. The men entered with those vial things that they used to end my masters life. It wouldn't be much longer and I could go. They looked between me and the man on the bed next to me. One of them raised his weapon towards me. I never heard the sound, but in those final moments I knew I was going to be with my master again.", "The young rogue entered the lavish private bar his father owned, chuckling with his closest henchmen as he walked he made his way to the bar.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSpotting his father leaning against the bar the man heads directly towards him with an over confident smirk across his face..\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Father, pour me a drink will you?\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Yeah..\" His Father sighed as he poured the whiskey, the same drink he had poured himself moments earlier.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe young man had always respected, feared his father. For as long as he can remember his Father was always the man to call the shots, he never quivered, he never faltered and he was never shook.\n\nBut in this moment his Father looked like a stranger.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAs he handed his son the drink, a flash of movement and his clenched fist was pummeled into his son's gut, practically lifting him off the floor, the whiskey landed on the floor with a smash followed by his son on his knees.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"ooomph......W..why father?\" The young man grimaced recoiling from the blow from his father\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"You fuckin' know why\" His Father spat\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"The car? The old man's car?\" He looked up at his father, slightly confused\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Not just the car..\" The man rolled up his sleeves, still standing over his son who's attempting to regain his composure but failing.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"The old man?\" He asked\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Careful, that man was not far from your Father's age, yes the man. Tell me, did you extend the same courtesy to his pet?\" As he asked this he made eye contact with his son for the first time since he entered the room.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLooking at his feet \"No Father, it was just a fuckin' dog....why would i waste my time on... a\" his sentence was broken by his Father\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Because THAT 'Fuckin' dog was John Lick....\" His Father bit back.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nLooking puzzled at his Father, his Father continued to explain.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"John Lick is the fuckin' BowWow Man...He was sent to Vietnam to take down the dog meat trade, he had 417 confirmed kills and 89 Official Good Boys which is unheard of. He killed more traders with claws, teeth and furious tail wagging than any other dog pound unit sent into enemy territory!\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe pours himself another drink...\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"After he finished cleaning up Vietnam he came home, found an owner and began looking for work\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"What kind of work?\" The young man now nestled on a barstool, lights a cigarette between shaking hands.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Guess..\" His father takes another sip of his Whiskey\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Oh..\" The young man looks down again, realising the weight of his actions..\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"And you.....you steal his owners car.....you KILL his fuckin' owner.......and then you spared fuckin' John Lick...until further notice you are under house arrest until he is sent to doggy heaven..\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd with that off in the distance a window smashes.....a guard screams in agonising pain....\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;", "John Lick stood at the top of the scaffolding, looking at the gangsters and thugs below him. He had taken out the guards outside, but he would not be able to keep himself hidden for long here. He would have to be quick.\n\nEverything had led him to this place - all the death, the suffering, all the senseless slaughter. He had used just about all of his golden bones, but that meant nothing to him now. \n\nAll that mattered was revenge. \n\nHe lept from the platform, landing on an unsuspecting thug below. Lick immediately tore at his neck before he could react, and he sprinted towards the next gangster, biting his genitals before he reached his gun. The man cried out in shock, and Lick immediately sprinted for cover as the guards began firing at them both. \n\n\"It's the dog!\" the man that had killed his owner yelled, running for cover. \"Kill that fucking dog!\"\n\nLick jumped up onto the side of a wall, leaping off it and clamping shut on a guard's face. He twisted, tearing off half the man's face with the force of the pull. More men fired at him, but there were fewer left now. \n\nHe showed no mercy, just as they had not. He hunted the men, pushing past his injuries, fueled by sheer vengeance. One by one they fell. \n\nAs he bit out the throat of the final guard, the man that had killed his owner stumbled away. John Lick paced after him, cornering him.\n\nThe man began to speak, holding out a trembling hand. \n\n\"It was just a fuck'n-\"\n\nLick tore into his throat, ripping it out with brutal efficiency. The man fell wordlessly, the blood pooling around him as Lick left the building. Sirens blared in the distance.\n\nJohn limped back to his home, his injuries finally catching up to him. \n\nHe reached the grave of his owner, and circled once, twice, before laying down next to him. \n\nHe shut his eyes, the weariness overcoming him. It would not be long now. \n\nBut he would die happy. " ]	5
	[WP] You jokingly tap your friend's smart watch a bunch while they are looking away. Suddenly, the air around them shimmers and reveals a 7 foot lizard person.	[ "I stood staring at the lizard standing where my friend was moments ago. She turned back to me. “What?”\n\nI shook my head, closing my mouth which I hadn’t realised had fallen open. It was weird to hear her voice from this strange creatures mouth. “Wha... What are you?”\n\nShe blinked at me. “What?”\n\nI felt a strange sense of disconnection, like everything around me was no longer real, perhaps a dream. \n\nShe looked down at her lizard form. “Well... shit. I can explain I swear. Have you ever seen Ben 10?”" ]	1
	[WP] Two people who have been able to communicate since birth meet each other for the first time	[ "The hum and vibration of the Sonicare toothbrush became momentarily diminished as a beep announced the time to switch efforts to another part of his mouth. Nicholas' eyes focused intently on his own, in the mirrored reflection of himself. Every morning was the same. Every morning there was the same thought: are these even completely \"my\" eyes? Then...\n\n\"Hi.\", the usual voice entered his mind.\n\nWithout verbalizing, Nicholas responds with his own mind:\n\n\"You nervous?\"\n\nThe voice returns: \n\n\"A little bit\"\n\n\"Me too.\"\n\nA longer beep accompanied by cessation of sound and buzz created a Pavlov's Dog response of Nicholas spitting into the sink.\n\n\"What was last night all about? We both couldn't sleep...understandably...but again with the Twin Souls talk??\"\n\nThe voice, female and familiar...a voice heard since Nicholas was just a baby...a voice that was so ingrained in his existence...so very much a part of his life...that Nicholas had grown to accept its presence as part of his own Id, Ego, Superego format of \"Personality Nick\".\n\n\"I don't know, I'm just wondering what it all means. For 32 years you have been with me, and I have been with you. And for the last 20, we both have accepted that we both just have to exist...for real...and that we aren't really crazy. But today...when we meet...I just think it transforms this \"Faith\" that you are real...to the real tangible evidence of it.\"\n\n\"I know\", Nicholas said as he checked his watch. Running behind as usual. But the brief moment of adrenaline was met with calm as her voice returned:\n\"You set your watch forward remember?\"\n\nA smile came to Nicholas' face: \"Yes...thank you for the suggestion. Would have been late for the biggest moment of my life.\"\n\n\"Not a chance. But...I decided to be coy this morning.\"\n\n\"How's that?\"\n\n\"I left early. And...I am in my car...right outside in the driveway\"\n\nThe adrenaline returned quickly.\n\nHe attempted to clear all thoughts in his head, and focus intently on fundamental next steps.\n\nKnock, Knock\n\nNicholas ran, towel still wrapped around his waist, down the stairs and to the front door. Heart beating through his chest.\n\nHand reaches knob, and with a turn...and a pull...\n\nThere she was.\n\nMagnificent.\nRadiant.\n\nPerfect.\n\nHer eyes locked with his, and smiles formed in unison.\n\nAnd his heart, ached...and pulled forward. As if some unseen magnet was pulling him to her. Like his very heart knew, and understood that it was meant to be with this other heart...this perfect soul.\n\n\"It is true then\".\n\nNicholas reaches out for her.\nLips fall on lips.\nHearts mend, blend, come together as two chests form an embrace.\n\"Two souls...as one\"." ]	1
	[WP] Looking back on it, reading Animal Farm in a zoo may have not been the best idea.	[ "I placed hand on my temple. Inhaling a deep breath. Life is a fickle mistress. Sometimes your actions are meaningless. Even when you do the grandest thing possible. Worse is when you do something innocuous and innocent. I turned the tv on to be great by the news that I created. \n\n“The Animal uprising continues. A lone pig has tossed of the shackles of decorum and announced the end of the human empire.”\n\nI sighed again. It wasnt intentional. I did it everyday thinking that reading such a god awful book was for my sake. That somehow it would improve my life. Or give me a deeper meaning to the vast void that makes up society. But no. All it did was bring about our inevitable demise, and worse got me fired from my cushy zoo job. \n\n“Fuck books.” I said tossing away my copy of animal farm and picking up the last of my beer and taking a long swig. I " ]	1
	[WP] You are at the playground with your five year old son. Nearing sixty years yourself, you have to sit down on a bench and watch him play, as you catch your breath and contemplate. You love the kid, but with every passing day, it worries you more, that he hasn't aged for the last thirty years.	[ "\"Nice day Billy isn't it\" the man turned and aimed the question at the man next to him on the bench, who was too busy staring and chuckling at the sight of his young son trying to reach the monkey bars to acknowledge Henry at first. Eventually he gave a reply, \"Yeah it is, perfect weather to bring the young ones down to play isn't it.\" It wasn't a question, it was undeniable, there were still some clouds in the sky but somehow the sun was shooting directly through them, making it so the metal parts of the bench were best avoided, and after Billy's son managed to finally wrap his hand around one of the steel poles, he quickly pulled his hand away since it was just too hot to grip like that.\"I remember when you used to come here and do the same, in fact I remember when my boy and you used to fight all the time, feels just like yesterday\"\n\n\"It was 36 years ago.\"\n\n\"Yeah but you know what I mean, its like my boy's not even grown since then.\"\n\n\"I mean, he hasn't.\"\n\nHe was right, it had been 30 years since Henry's son had last aged, he'd certainly aged mentally, in fact he had a PhD in Medicine, he'd made it his life goal to try to find a way to change the effect of still being 5. In Henry's son hated coming to the park, but it was his only choice, he wasn't old enough to sign up to a gym or anything, so this is where he had to go to get his workouts, currently Henry's son was doing press-ups on the middle part of a seesaw two other kids were playing on. He'd push himself up as he tilted backwards, and move back down as he tilted forward, he said it was easier to keep balance that way. \n\n\"Its hard you know\" Henry sighed \"to take care of someone just cause they look like they're 5\"\n\n\"Oh trust me I know, a few years back me and some friends asked him if he wanted to come to a party with us. It was fun to try to explain in the police station the next morning.\"\n\n\"Oh trust me it gets harder when you're this old to be his father, I'm 62 now you know? Taking him to the park or getting him in the car nowadays feels like I'm 2 steps away from being on To Catch A Predator.\"\n\nBilly chuckled to himself. \n\n\"I mean it has its perks though doesn't it? I'm sure kids clothes are cheap.\"\n\n\"I don't buy his damn clothes for him Billy he's 37, though its not like he has much choice when it comes to clothes anyway.\"\n\nHenry had become disillusioned, after 30 years he just wanted a break. It was hard to deal with what his son had to deal with, constantly being belittled because he was little, but he knew it wasn't that bad for him, he knew his son had it much worse. In the moment, unable to find the words, he just let out a sigh and lightly shook his head. \n\n\"Though I suppose it all depends on perspective\" said Billy out of nowhere, \"I'm sure there are people out there that would kill for what you have. Never having to deal with all the moody teenage years, never having to worry about them out on their own. I mean hell, its not like he's not had a good life is it? He's sure got a better career than me.\"\n\n\"I guess so\" agreed Henry, \"besides, its not exactly if he hates it too, deep down, I think he likes it.\"\n\nOver in the playground Henry's son was now talking to a gaggle of other kids, the centre of attention, blowing everyone's mind by telling everyone about how the body works, there were gasps, laughs, and a few confused faces, but stretched across Henry's Son's face was a giant grin, one Henry hadn't seen in years. \n\nHe sat back and finally relaxed on the bench, staring on at the fun that his son was having, with an equally cheesy grin on his face. He sat there for hours, smiling, with the hot summer sun shining down on his face. ", "“Eric.”\n\n“Eric!”\n\n“ERIC!” Dan shouted. The young, blond boy finally turned around, bestowing on his father the gift of a young child’s undivided attention. “Watch yourself on the monkey bars, yeah? What did we talk about? Last time you got your knees all bloodied.” For a second, Eric’s whole face scrunched up. Dan was sure that Eric was deciding whether or not to cry. Then, Eric blurted:\n\n“Okay, Dad.” Then, Eric ran towards the swing set. Dan sighed in relief at the narrow aversion of a child meltdown and settled into his bench. As much as he wiggled his butt, he couldn’t seem to get the bench to be as comfortable as it used to be. But coming to the same park for thirty years can do that to a man.\n\n“We always long for the past,” Dan muttered to nobody in particular, as if announcing his thoughts aloud would lend them more credibility. His breath frosted in the air as he drove his hands deeper into his pockets. It was January—too cold to be at a playground, which was understandably empty except for the man and the boy. But this park was Dan and Eric’s refuge. They had always come here, and they would continue to come here, weather be damned, as far as Dan was concerned. The wife might disapprove, especially because of \"the illness\". But it was a good to be outside, a perfect way to toughen up the boy. A little cold never killed anyone.\n\nSpeaking of the boy. Dan drew his attention back to Eric, who was waddling about, having changed his mind about the swing set and instead settled on the slide. “Hey! Careful on the ladder! Watch for ice, boy!” Dan grunted.\n\n“Right, pops,” Eric responded. Then he skipped a particularly risky looking rung and pulled himself up to the top of the slide. At the top, Eric paused, pondering the great depths below.\n\nDan let his mind wander. Eric would think about the drop for a long time—that was his way. 30 years, and Eric had never aged past five. Suffice to say, Dan had a pretty good grip on his son’s tendencies. He knew he had a few minutes to just think.\n\nDan breathed out, watching the fog of his breath swirl in front of his face. It seemed like now a days, with his increasing age, it was getting harder and harder to find time to let himself just think. Life was difficult for him, more now than ever before. Dan thought of all the time he spent caring for his son, and how, with his increasing age, the tasks only seemed to be getting harder. 30 years of “the illness”. Well, after all they told him, all the fear, all the tests, all the medication, his son was just as healthy as ever. Dan was proud of that. As far as he was concerned, everyone who ever doubted him could stick it up their ass.\n\n“Stick it right up their ass,” Dan said. Then he pulled his attention back to Eric, who had decided to take the leap into the great beyond and descend down the slide. Suddenly, Eric was sitting at the bottom, a large smile on his face signaling complete success. Eric hopped off the slide and moved to take a step forward. In slow motion, Dan saw Eric’s left foot plant down on the shoelace of his right foot, which was obscured from Eric’s vision by his dastardly massive coat. The woodchips stopped Eric’s fall, but they failed to contain his shriek.\n\nCatastrophe. Cries rung out in the air.\n\nDan shook off the aches in his joints and walked over to his son, who had scraped his gloveless hands. With one motion, Dan leaned over, scooped up Eric, and carried him back towards his bench, with Eric screaming all the way. Dan plopped down on the bench with Eric settled firmly on his lap. Dan said nothing; he only waited as Eric’s sobs shortened, and then eventually ceased outright.\n\n“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Dan asked the little boy that meant more to him than anything else in the world.\n\n“I fell,” Eric responded.\n\n“Why did you fall?”\n\n“My…my shoelace was untied.”\n\n“So next time, what are we going to do?”\n\n“Ummm…tie it?”\n\n“That’s my boy. Now show me those hands.” Eric lifted his hands towards his father’s face. There were three small cuts on one and two on the other, but they weren’t bleeding. “Does it hurt?”\n\n“Yeah. It stings.”\n\n“Do you need me to get you some new ones? I can chop them your hands off right now, if you want.”\n\n“No, Daddy, no,” Eric said, lips lifting into a smile. With that smile, Dan knew his joke had been successful. The fall had been forgotten. Dan lifted Eric up and plopped him down next to him. The man and the boy sat together on the bench in silence, pondering the cool afternoon in the empty park. After an eternal 2 minutes, Eric finally broke the silence.\n\n“Dad, can I ask you a question?”\n\n“Sure.”\n\n“What’s going to happen when you get older?” Eric asked, looking up at Dan’s greying beard.\n\n“Now, don’t you worry about that, Eric. I think you are a little young to worry about that, don’t you?”\n\n“I don’t know. It’s just that, eventually, I’m going to have to take care of you, right?” Dan hesitated, surprised at the seriousness in his son's voice.\n\n“I suppose.”\n\n“I dunno…that could be hard. With “the illness”, and all.” Eric’s head drooped.\n\n“What have I told you a thousand times, Eric?” Dan asked, turning the boy’s face towards him in order to look directly into his eyes. Eric said nothing. “That you are—”\n\n“That I am just fine the way I am,” Eric said, repeating the mantra his Dad had instilled in him for as long as he could remember. Dan couldn’t help but hesitate. Eric’s voice seemed lower than usual, as if this topic had a new, added weight.\n\n“Well, I am too. So don’t worry about me,” Dan said, trying to assure his little boy.\n\n“But Pops,” Eric muttered, still looking down, voice lowering all the while, letting his implications linger in the air. Dan paid him no heed.\n\n“I have taken care of you for all this time so far, haven’t I?”\n\n“But Dad. You know this isn’t about me. It’s about you. The illness. Be serious.” For some reason, Dan was sure the Eric’s voice had lowered again. As if Eric was aging before his eyes.\n\n“I’m fine! I’m fine! All this hullabaloo, they said I wouldn’t be able to take care of you, but 30 years later and you turned out just fine! Just because you haven’t aged…Just because you’re still a little on the young side…” Dan paused, suddenly uncertain of his surroundings.\n\n“What?” Eric asked, voice as low as ever. “Dad, what did you just say?” Dan turned towards his little boy, but in his place, he only saw a middle-aged man.\n\n“Who…Where is my son?” Dan asked him.\n\n“Dad, I am your son,” the man responded. “Oh, Jesus Christ. This is exactly what I was talking about. Exactly what I feared. It’s starting, the confusion, the mixing up of memories. We should have had this conversation years ago. We don't even have a plan. How am I going to take care of you?” The man paused, and returned his focus to the old man sitting next to him on the bench. The problem at hand. “Pops. Do you know where we are right now?” Dan, confused, checked his surroundings. The park remained permanent.\n\n“We are in the park, my park. Our park. The park where I always take my son…”\n\n“Ok. Ok. I’m okay. I can handle this,” the man said, sucking in a desperate breath. “Dad, it’s me, it’s Eric. I’m your son. I’m going to take you home, okay? You’re sick. You have an illness, but it’s going to be okay. I’ll find a way to take care of you.” Eric spoke slowly and clearly, trying to hold his father’s attention. Dan swiveled his head, trying to uncloud his thoughts, searching for his little boy with the scraped-up hands in vain. Eric grabbed his father’s hand and helped him to his feet.\n\n“I’m going to find a way to take care of you,” Eric repeated. “Just like you took care of me, 30 years ago. Now, come on. It’s cold out here. Mom will be waiting.” The two men started towards home." ]	2
	[WP] Every time you sneezed, your parents said a god's name and bless you. Now, when in danger, all those blessings effects kick in	[ "By the end of the first day, the battlefield was strewn with corpses like crimson roots spread over the vast horizon.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nYoung boys marched ahead into the grinder as the story had always been but I was not among them. I was one of the Reserviatus, the \"second wave\" and my duty was to learn from the folly of the first.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTogether we were a wave of scarlet, designed and trained to drown the enemy had the first wave succeeded in breaking the enemy.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nOn that fateful second day - they did not.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBut before I can speak of our charge and our fight, I must admit as a child of Erastium, I was no model son. In fact, I was a sickly one and could barely lift my father's tools let alone his sword. At every sneeze and cough, my mother would call upon the various gods to bless me as most mothers would.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAmong the trillions of blessings asked of the gods, my mother's appealed to them if for nothing else that her own blood bore the mark of pestilence. I was never a faithful boy, never did I imagine that the gods would come down to intercede on my behalf and especially not when the armor clad men of the Invictorius came to pull me from my mother and father and raise me into their image.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nYet we must continue and leave the images of motherhood and return to the grim horror of combat.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe horn blared as if its gutteral sound could become a wild beast and I felt fear. I gripped my sword not with courage but with primal fear that had once swirled within the first moments of training.\n\nAhead the screams of the dying grew louder as we marched.\n\nDistant shadows revealed themselves to be mounds of our fallen brothers.\n\nBlack pools of blood reflected our horror and revulsion.\n\nThe sun had fallen.\n\nThe second horn blared. Meaning - without words or compassion - to charge at full speed.\n\nI rushed ahead and cut the daemon ahead of me, it's face contorting with pain as I swing again to finish it off.\n\nThe man next to me is struck by a bolt and killed instantly.\n\nOur officer was torn limb from limb, his golden armor shining dimly under a pulsing mass of daemonic flesh.\n\nI felt the ground under my feet become wet with blood.\n\nI began to blindly swing with rage and sorrow.\n\nSadness that I would never again be able to see my mother's face.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThen in that moment, everything changed.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe sky erupted in overwhelming light as if the sun had risen twice higher than it has ever done before.\n\nAnd there he was, our god and as I laid my eyes on him I heard my mother's delicate voice - *\"Sanguinus\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHis wings were that of an angel's, spreading out they cast shadows upon the ground. With every swing of his flame bound sword, the daemon ranks were turned to ash. Effortlessly he made the ground shake with reverence of his might and cascading holy fury upon the corrupted mass that once threatened us all with annihilation.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhen he looked upon me and my tattered brothers who had survived, he spoke in almost a whisper,\n\n\"May you never again fear such a vile death, for your mother's blessings have saved you and your brothers in arms.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhen I finally awoke, the battle was over and the daemon army had been crushed.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd that is where I shall end my story.", "&#x200B;\n\nI'm constantly sneezing and I don't understand why, could be an allergy. I left my house to get groceries. I was walking down the street to my tram stop when a masked man approaches me, he grabs my shoulder, and pulled me into an alley. I knew what he wanted. I said \"I don't have any money, just my tram ticket\",* he got angry with me and pulled out a knife, and said \"Give me whatever you have\", I pull my phone out of my pocket when he pulls me in really fast, my life flashes before my eyes, time slows, I can see his knife flying through the air, but I'm helpless. I see his grip loosen and his wrist bends at a weird angle, as if he hit a wall, his arm shoots back, and the rest of his body follows, he flew a good 10 meters before hitting the ground, then sliding another 2 . People saw and went to check on him, he was still alive but seriously injured. I boarded my tram, and saw an ambulance going the opposite direction.", "\"Everone get down! On the ground! On the ground!\" Three men in business suits and overcoats with hockey masks rush into the room, whipping assault rifles up from under their coats. Some of the people start screaming, including a very viking-looking body builder at the teller's desk. The first robber, a slightly shorter man than the other two, hops up onto the counter and kicks my partially-completed savings deposit slip away from my hands. The second leaps over the tellers desk with an impressive feat of athleticism and herds the tellers away from the counter.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Wallets and purses in the bag!\" I see the third pull a large canvas duffel bag out and start collecting the customers' personal items. It's all a blur, a whirlwind. I lay on my stomach in the floor and pull out my wallet, setting it on the ground in front of myself. One of the men walks by and picks it up. For a moment, I stare down the barrel of the assault rifle, that second lasts longer than the entire robbery.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe robbers keep shouting, tellers hurry to load the cash from the registers. The customers react in a dozen different ways, cussing under their breath, crying, or - like me - just stunned.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Get it all, yeah, that's right,\" That shakes me out of my shock.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBefore I came here today, I was browsing through my wife's dropbox collection looking for pictures for a romantic slideshow for our anniversary dinner. I'd just come back from a 3-month business trip to Europe, and wanted to do something extra special for our 5th anniversary. What I found was a nightmare. An entire folder labeled \"Special Stuff\", and in that folder dozens of videos of my wife with a masquerade mask and a man with a hockey mask... and nothing else. It only took 10 seconds of exposure for me to start vomiting. I guess that's what the combination of disappointment, shock, and rage can do to you. While I was vomiting, I remember clearly hearing that same voice, those same words. \"Get it all, yeah, that's right.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nMy thoughts were interrupted by a woman in the corner sneezing.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Tempus bless you,\" I replied out of habbit. My parents were huge D&D nerds, I was a huge D&D nerd, I'd played since I was 5. It was a weird family quirk, blessing sneezes in the name of Tempus.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSuddenly, the exterior doors exploded inwards in a torrent of glass and metal.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAn 8-foot tall figure glad in medieval plate armor and a flowing white cloak leapt into the bank. He lifted his hand behind himself just before the brick from the front of the bank collapsed down and sealed the gaping hole where the doors once stood.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"What the... what a whacko,\" my wife's entertainer mumbles in response. The robbers turned toward him in unison, and started firing at the figure. He held his hand up toward the robbers and a burst of flame erupted, then solidified into a red steel shield. On that shield was a vertical broadsword over an image of flames. The bullets curved into the shield and evaporated on contact, like vape smoke blown against a mirror in tiny bursts.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe robbers reload, fumbling at their clips in shock. The armored character stands completely upright, then looks directly at me. Holding out his right hand, a sword materializes out of the air, it looks very similar to images I had drawn as my D&D characters' swords.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Fight for honor,\" his voice shakes the walls and makes my ears ring, but he tosses the sword onto the floor in front of me, then makes a backhanding gesture, and the other two robbers and all three assault rifles fly into - and stick to - the cieling.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI stand and grab the sword. Run straight towards the man who visited my wife while I was out of town, and hit him in the head with the hilt of the sword. He falls to the ground like a blanket.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe other two fall from the ceiling, and the fictional character flips his hand, the granite counter top seems to melt or reform or something. Somehow it wraps around all three men. The bullets suddenly safely eject from the chambers of the guns and dissolve into small melted piles of metal and powder.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI turn back to the figure and hand the sword back towards him. Instead, he hands me a hilt. He removes his helmet and reduces in size to just over 6 feet tall. His hair radiates with golden light. He speaks slowly, with a huge smile, and slaps a heavy gauntlet on my shoulder.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Long have your parents blessed you in my name,\" he says to me.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"I thought that was a joke, a pop-culture reference.\" I laugh hard and stumble to stay standing up for a moment. \"If I sneezed, they would say 'Tempus bless you'. I thought they were just crazy nerds who loved D&D.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Faith is an interesting thing,\" He just. Doesn't. Stop. Smiling. \"Your father made an oath to me when he became a doctor. He asked for my assistance protecting you when you were born. Your mother made an oath to me when she started working as an government accountant. They both blessed you countless times through your life in my name. Now in the moment when fate would have ended you, you have instead become the victor.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI don't know what do say, I just stand there, still enraged over what my wife did, what this guy did.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Tempus, I can't do what I feel the urge to do... to avenge my betrayal, their infidelity.\" I tear up a little bit, but out of rage. My anger squeezed all the sadness out of me like wet rag.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"I know,\" He nods, and snaps his fingers. I look around. Every customer, and teller, is gone. The bank is gone. All that's left are the robbers, but now they're inside cages, in a field, and there's a fourth cage. My wife... that traitorous whore.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"In your dreams, you will be brought to this plane,\" A battleaxe materializes in his hand. \"In this plane, things are as real as they were there.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe touches my head, and I feel a surge of ... peace? A plan. A battle plan. Report missing persons, explain that my wife ran away with her boyfriend. I have the evidence ready to collect. Then in my dreams, I deliver justice. Then I pursue my law degree, and honor Tempus by becoming a divorce attorney. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Tempus, I don't know what to say.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe squints his eyes and tilts his head a bit. \"Oh, but you do... I thank you,\" he says, a look of expectation on his face.\n\n\"And I thank... Tempus.\" I respond." ]	3
	[WP] A terrorist organization has kidnapped your child, and threatened to kill them if you don't wear a suicide vest for them. While they are putting the vest on you, you are the only one in the room to notice a newscast showing the lucky rescue of a child from the trunk of a car. Yours.	[ "\"You shouldn't worry, your child and family will be well taken care of.\"\n\nIt was a lie, I knew it was a lie, but I nodded anyways. The man tightend the straps of the vest on my shoulders, the last vest I would ever wear.\n\n\"The Soldiers will pass by you, and you will press on this and release it.\" \n\nHe lifted a device before my eyes and pointed to a spring loaded lever at its side\n\n\"After that, there will be a flash of light and your child will be free. Do you understand?\"\n\nI did not understand. I did not understand why they wished to do this thing. I did not understand why they seemed so at peace with it. I did not understand why they took my daughter and threatened her with violence.\n\nAll I understood was this was my only way to protect her. I nodded my head.\n\nAs I looked up again, I saw the television. No one else looked at it, and the volume was muted, but I saw the picture. An old car, surrounded by police, and a frail young body lifted from the trunk.\n\nA new picture filled the screen. I saw the face of my precious little one. Underneath the text said \"Young Girl Rescued.\" She was safe! I did not have to protect her.\n\n\"Are you ready?\" the man said as he pressed the trigger into my palm.\n\nShe was safe, I did not need to do anything.\n\nThen again; so long as men such as these walked, she could be in danger again.\n\nShe was safe, for now, they were not.\n\n\"I said: Are you ready?\" the man asked again.\n\n\"Yes.\" I said. I squeezed my hand, then let go.\n\nThere was a flash of light and my child was free." ]	1
	[WP] People will believe everything you say, but you can only lie.	[ "Pay attention in school. Go to college. Get a good job. Meet a nice girl and marry her. Have a few kids. Buy a house. Save for retirement. Be a good neighbor. Visit your parents. \n\nAnd so they call me neighbor. They call me husband, father, son, colleague, friend. They are everyone who has ever called my name, from the driver of the 9F bus that stops the block over at 8:10 each morning all the way to the wife of the twenty-two years. \n\nThese people. These planets in lazy orbit around a collapsing star. For a moment, just one, I wish I could be the man they believe in.\n\nAt the heart of it, I think, I only ever wanted to be liked. Liked by the teachers in school, so I played the obedient student and pursued every assignment with diligence. My parents beamed at straight As. Then I morphed out on the school blacktop, then at Sarah's house parties when her parents left town, then when kissing Catelin under the bleachers during the third quarter of the state quarterfinal. She loved me, she said. She loved me as we love our fictional characters, the friends we make in dreams. \n\nA different mask for every occasion. A different handshake for every network. School assignments became work tasks and familial responsibilities, and failure became alien. I succeeded, as I was supposed to. As the person I was to everyone else was supposed to. Colleague. Husband. Father.\n\nWhen have I been any of things? And not just live as them, for I have lived those roles as a puppeteer springs forth Achilles from his hands. I played a father. I played a husband. But for every reassuring pat on the shoulder or tender hug at midnight, inside the vacuum grew. There is a hole in me. It has yawned open bit by bit over the course of all these years, and in it screams a voice, a lone crier, shouting, I, I, I. I am still here. I am not a father, husband, colleague. I am not this man you think. \n\nBut I drown it out, as I always have. I play the part, and all the real, living, breathing souls around me smile and praise a veil of skin and hollowed bones.\n\nLast week the voice deep down shouted once more, right after the oncologist's diagnosis. Stage 3, all through the liver. How surprising, you who have never drank much, father, husband, colleague. The voice screamed, writhed, and on the drive home, for a split second it yearned to take the wheel and careen at high speed into the nearest tree trunk. It yearned to do something real for the first time, to shout to the world, I have not lived a lie! To cry, I will write my name in the earth!\n\nBut the voice died in my throat, and home I went, home to tears and well-wishers and you'll get through it, Dad. Home to a foreign horde convinced above all else that I wish to finish this great act. \n\nAnd so the story continues, the character devoured by the words. \n\n&#x200B;" ]	1
	[WP] Every choice creates a new alternate dimension where the other choice was made instead. You've encountered a dimensional instability.	[ " My boys and I have a ritual. When we go out we first order a round of beers, then a round of shots. Not just any shots, we order vodka. I don’t know why, I don’t know who started it. All I know is all the bartenders in the city hate us for it, and none of us really like the taste. Especially room tempered vodka shots. What the hell. It’s disgusting, man. Still, that’s what we do every time, no exception. \n\nIt’s become the recipe for a great night out, and there’s no point in changing a winning order, right? Well, let me tell you – just take my word for it. If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it, as they say. The consequences could be more serious than one might expect.\n\nOn this particular night, it was my turn to grab the round of shots. I walked up to the bar, and lo and behold, they only have room tempered vodka. The bartender is a hot young woman, and she gives me the most condescending glare as I try to persuade her for the second time that I really do want this round of warm vodka shots. “You know, I can’t both keep my integrity as a bartender and also serve you that” she says, and for some goddamn reason that rings true with me. “You know what, you’re right. Give me a round of tequila!” I say.\n\nThen I walk up to the bar again and order a round of vodka shots. She talks me into not doing it, and I order tequila. Then I walk up to her again and order a round of vodka shots.. \n\nAfter the fifth round I tried to stay firm when ordering the vodka shots, and I got them, but I still found myself walking up to her again. The last time something strange happened, rather than do her usual integrity speech, her face turned into a strange grimace, and an unfamiliar voice came out of her “There has been a dimensional breach of security. Please hold while we work on figuring out the specifics”. I downed three shots of vodka, immediately regretting it, but not really seeing any other way of dealing with the situation. \n\nI waited a minute, then the girl behind the bar came back to life and told me to follow her. We went to sit by a table, and she explained that by fucking up our order I had single handedly caused the biggest dimensional instability in centuries, and while they thanked me for pointing out the bug, I had to sign 16 different documents promising I would never do that again. \n\nAfter I had signed everything, the scenario re-started, and I went up to the bar. \n “You know, I can’t both keep my integrity as a bartender and also serve you that” she says \n “Just give me the goddamn vodka… Please?” \n\nAnd that’s how I was thrown out, lost my shot with the hot bartender (as if I had one to begin with) and caused our dimension to almost implode on itself due to the instability of not ordering vodka shots. I think we’re all clear on the moral of this story. " ]	1
	[WP] You are a professional zombie matador. One night as you fight a female zombie, your style as fluid and smooth as ever, you realize from her movements that she was a dancer while alive. Right now, she's having the time of her "life" as you effortlessly sweep her about.	[ "The crowd laughs because she looks drunk. You can agree with them. Her movements – they are not quite right. She stumbles towards you in the furthest thing from a straight line, and wobbles and dips and spins like a rag doll.\n\nIt is almost too easy to evade her. On a normal night, you would have reveled in the glee of the crowd, in all those cheers. You would have easily allowed yourself to believe the illusion – that it’s all for you. But you know tonight that it’s cruel. \n\nIt’s this sympathy that forces you to look into her eyes. What do you see there? She moves haphazardly, but also quickly. You see her lips are curled at the corners, into a smile of some sort.\n\nSo your strange waltz continues, you evading to the corners of the ring, her whirling and stumbling over on the most circumspect of routes. And then it happens.\n\nHer eyes meet yours, only for a fleeting moment, as she sails past you into the ropes. The sight shocks you, because your heart stops, and you swear the eyes are human, rich with the flickering light and pain and thrill of movement, of being alive.\n\nSoon, she closes her eyes, winding down into a slower, more romantic sort of rhythm. She closes her eyes, and you realize it doesn’t matter whether the crowd cheers or jeers. To her, they are all for her. All eyes are on her, perhaps for the first time in her existence, and maybe that is why she can finally perform like no one is watching.\n\nSo you dance on, for a fleeting moment that lasts for eternity.", "The crowd cheers as sweat drips of the matador’s face. He’s been in this arena over a hundred times and none of his opponents have ever been this difficult.\n\t\nHe’s bested zombies who run, zombies who spit poison, and even zombies who perpetually burn. He’s the greatest of all time, and nobody’s denying that—but worry's growing inside him because he’s only got one minute left.\n\t\nReaching out, he tries snatching the bomb off her chest but misses as she swoops around him, striking a pose. The crowd hoots and hollers, more excited for her than him at this point. Lunging forward, he just barely misses her leg as she yanks it high into the air and does a spin. It’s so graceful, even he’s mesmerized.\n\t\nShe must’ve been a dancer when she was alive, he thinks. She’s wearing a smile as she trots away from him, clearly enjoying this. She’s getting same rush he does when facing an opponent, the urge to not be bested.\n\t\nThirty seconds left before the bomb explodes. The timer starts at five minutes and he’s never let it get below three. If it goes off, it’ll kill him. And her, again. The danger pumps adrenaline into his veins and he back on his feet, trying his hardest to mimic her moves—they aren’t random. They’re pre-planned, like she’s following some dance.\n\t\nThe crowd grows quiet, both amazed at performance they're witnessing and shocked their hero is in so much danger. Ten seconds left. He isn’t trying to grab the bomb, just following her. Right, left, right, left. Swoop under her legs. Handstand flip backwards.\n\t\nSeven seconds.\n\t\nRunning toward each other.\n\t\nFive.\n\t\nGrabbing hands, doing a spin. Sweat flying off their faces.\n\nThree…\n\t\nHe pulls her in close, lips almost touching as they gaze into each other’s eyes. The sight’s romantic enough and such a perfect finish that the crowd jumps out of their seats, cheering before he even has the bomb—but he yanks it down, off her chest. With one second left, the timer stops, and he breaths a deep sigh of relief. That was close, but he is the best.\n\t\nReaching up, the zombie grabs his cheeks, pulling him to face her. She gives him a soft smile and mouths thank you before two guards yank her away. He smiles back, nodding. She might've almost killed him, but they put on one a hell of a show.\n***\nIf you like this story check out my sub /r/LonghandWriter or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/BryceBealWriter?lang=en)" ]	2
	[WP] Decades ago humanity fought off an alien colonization. Those aliens that survived surrendered and were eventually given rights to live and settle across the world. You are a social worker that has been put in charge of integrating the first alien family that has moved to your town.	[ "“Mister Gobi, may I be the first to welcome you to the LAPD” Police sergeant Holt said while addressing his precinct at a annual ‘new recruit’ ceremony. \n\n\nThe reactions were mixed with a lighter applause than normal, a few grunts and distasteful nods from Gobi’s fellow officers set the mood for humanities reaction to LA’s first alien cop. \n\n\n\n[LAPD Armory] \n\n“Yo, Rick I don’t trust that Gobi guy, why does our precinct have to be stuck with the fucking Alien?” - Lenny says while putting a ballistic vest over his torso.\n\n\nRick: “eh, what can we do? He was a law enforcer on his home planet and he passed the academy exams here so....... I mean if he wants to be a body shield for the boys in blue I don’t have a problem.” \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "\"Mr.....\"\n\n\"Please just call me Jake. It is my chosen Earth name.\"\n\nJake was 8 foot tall and had eyes the size of teacups. His face appeared to be human like, but in reality he was far from it. Jake was from the species Ataxii, a race of planet colonizers from the Andromeda Galaxy, and was the third generation of his kind to live on Earth. His physiology was very similar to a human male, in all aspects, but in orders of magnitude larger than our own limits. \n\n\"Ok Jake. My name is Greg Burns, I am from Integrated Social Services. My job is to make sure you integrate successfully in the community and that the community respects and helps you get started in life. I see you have applied to marry a female human by the name of Maria Coles?\"\n\n\"Yes, I have. She is most beautiful and she will make an excellent procreational partner.\"\n\nMaria Coles was 26 years old, 350lbs and morbidly obese. To put this mildly, she had hit every branch on the ugly tree when she dropped right from the top. In every traditional sense, she was undesirable to 95% of the population, except to Jake.\n\n\"Very nice. Jake, the law on inter species marriage is very clear, but in your case I think you should be fine. Would you like us to find a solicitor for you, so you can be fairly represented at the hearing on Friday?\"\n\n\"Thank you Humangreg. This would be most useful.\"\n\n\"Ok great, I'll get that arranged for you. Now, I see you have started work on the docks?\"\n\n\"Yes. Bossmanvasily is very kind. He gives me all heavy lifting, all the hard work. Makes me very happy. Yesterday, I move 36 cars onto container ship, no problem.\"\n\n\"Thirty six cars?!\"\n\n\"Yes Humangreg. This is not big test of strength for Jake. Jake's Parent-parent was super lifter, could lift three hundred workers.\"\n\n\"Wow. Ok, anyway - Vasily should not be exploiting you like that. It's not what we call \"fair\". Do they just sit around and watch you lift cars all day?\"\n\n\"Yes. They fat humans. Die early, they will. Jake will outlive them and inherit their business.\"\n\n\"Good point.\"\n\nJake's house was strange. It was a mid 60's townhouse close to the dockyards and it was a bit run down, but the decor was unique. Everything was shiny, everything glittered, it was spotless and the kitchen smelled of pine needles.\n\n\"Been cooking some Pine stew?\"\n\n\"Oh yes. Maria - she great cook. Jake love her pine goulash. We grow our own pines in back garden, they will be tall soon and can start our own pine sauces.\"\n\n\"Sounds great. Jake, I need to talk to you about something.....delicate. Do you understand?\"\n\n\"Errr.......like.....you might offend Jake? Jake might get angry and rip arms off?\"\n\n\"Ye....yes. But....I was hoping you wouldn't do that, would you?\"\n\n\"Noooo. Jake like Humangreg, he looks after us. Now, what humangreg have to say?\"\n\nGreg paused, he had the panic button firmly in his grip inside his gillet and a pine grenade in his left pocket, should the meeting go south quickly. It was such a risky job, interacting with the Ataxii, they were well known for sudden and unpredictable bouts of unholy rage and had the strength of five silverback gorillas. \n\n\"So, if you marry Maria, you can....well...try and procreate.\"\n\n\"That is the purpose of marriage, is it not?\"\n\n\"Well yes and no. Some people get married because they love each other, but they dont want children.\"\n\n\"Jake is shocked. Why they do this? Waste of good sperm and eggs. Make juveniles, it is the will of nature.\"\n\n\"Yes, I understand Jake, but humans are different to the Ataxii. We have complex emotional centres in our brains. What I am trying to say is, if you haven't already tried, that interspecies procreation isn't going to work. Our DNA is incompatible with yours, I hate to break it to you Jake but I would remiss if I didn't tell you this before you go through with it, because I know how much you guys love to procreate.\"\n\n\"Jake knows this already.\"\n\n\"You do?\"\n\n\"Yes. I marry Maria and we will try until we cannot try anymore. We will mate and mate and mate until she is a thin person again.\"\n\nThe pair had a laugh and a joke and agreed to end the meeting there, and 2 days later Jake was given special dispensation to be the first extra terrestrial being to marry a human woman. They lived out their lives in relative peace and quiet until 2 years later, Maria was rushed to hospital. 3 hours later, she gave birth to a perfectly healthy world first hybrid baby, and the world collectively lost it's shit." ]	2
	[WP] You sold your soul to the Devil... and several other beings. You've just died and now find yourself on trial for fraud.	[ "God: Okay, order in the court. Could the plaintiffs come to the stand please.\n\nThe Devil, Death, and Mike Pence (those are three different entities, by the way) took their places. Kevin, the defendant was standing nearby. \n\nGod: Could the plaintiffs please bring forward their charges against the defendant, Kevin?\n\nThe Devil: Yes, your honour. Kevin sold his soul to me on December 9, 1990. Only now, I find out that Kevin signed a soul contract WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE! I’m suing for breach of contract, you honour.\n\nDeath: Aye, the same with me, your honour. Kevin also signed a soul contract with me too!\n\nGod paused. \n\nGod: Oh hey Mike.\n\nMike Pence: Hey Jeremy.\n\nKevin: Woah, woah, you guys are on a first name basis? Should I be worried about a conflict of interest?\n\nGod: Oh no, Mike just doesn’t stop praying. I kind of just never pick up when he prays now. \n\nMike Pence: Yeah, Jeremy and I are real tight- wait, WHAT?\n\nGod turned to Kevin.\n\nGod: So while soul contracts are technically legal, they are frowned upon. Could you clarify what exactly you purchased with the soul contracts?\n\nKevin: Well with the devil, I sold my soul to become the assistant manager at the Dollarama I work at. I mean, now I get to have free coffee every morning!\n\nGod: Wait, why didn’t you just become the manager? Or even CEO of Dollarama? \n\nKevin: Why would I? The manager always gets shot during the daily robberies.\n\nCut to Dollarama\n\nA baby comes in with a gun and shoots the manager\n\nBaby: “ALRIGHT EVERYONE DOWN ON THE FLOOR THIS IS A ROBBERY!”\n\nCut back to Heaven’s Courtroom.\n\nMike Pence: Where do you live?\n\nKevin: New York.\n\nGod turned to The Devil and gave him a hard look. The Devil looked sheepish.\n\nGod: And you didn’t think this deal was too good to be true?\n\nThe Devil: Well… Kevin does fit the profile of the people Hell likes to target with Soul Contracts. I mean, he’s naive and too kind for his own good.\n\nGod turned to Death.\n\nGod: And you?\n\nDeath: He sold his soul so I wouldn’t bring his pet rock to the underworld.\n\nGod pauses and gives him a look.\n\nDeath: Well I wasn’t gonna do it in the first place! But when someone just offers their soul for free, I’m not gonna give that chance away!\n\nGod looks at Mike Pence.\n\nMike Pence: Well Jeremy, Kevin and I didn’t exactly sign a contract. It was more of a verbal agreement. I made a whole bunch of deals with The Devil, but I use my position as Vice President to find poor saps like Kevin who’ll give their soul away for free.\n\nGod: And that works?\n\nMike Pence: How else do you explain politics in 2018?\n\nGod: Looking at the contracts and paperwork, everything checks out except for one thing - Kevin’s last name isn’t present. Did none of you think to background check the guy you signed a contract with?\n\nAll three plaintiffs looked at each other.\n\nDeath: Well… We noticed that, but it seemed like a small issue so we never said anything.\n\nGod: Oh come on, how hard can a last name be to fin-. Holy shit. I can’t find Kevin’s last name, and I’m literally God. Hey Kevin what’s your last name?\n\nKevin: I don’t know :(\n\nGod: I’m not even gonna ask how you said an emoticon in real life. \n\nGod: But anyways. Because of the sensitive nature of Soul Contracts, and the fact that you bumbled the paperwork, Kevin goes to Heaven. All three of you are going to have to split the pet rock, though." ]	1
	[WP] You've secretly developed technology that allows you to accurately mimic the magic and abilities found in a popular book and film series. You quickly become a celebrity, due to being the only "wizard" to reveal the existence of the magical world. This goes well, until the real wizards show up.	[ "Fame was going great. Everybody loved the new “Grand Wizard” (aka me) and his mystical powers, and that time i released a totally real and not at all robotic dragon to battle it down with my definitely legitimate magical powers? The merchandise from that sold like hot cakes. Yeah, life was good.\n\nUntil tonight, that is. Today went like most others, public appearances, work some “magic”, make excuses about the drains of the mystical art before home to recharge the batteries. That last one’s literal, nano-machines take a lot of energy to run. But, no sooner that do i take the generator off to charge and start making a coffee than do I hear a mighty kraka-THOOM from my lab. I grab one of the smaller nano-generators I have hidden around the house, for small scale “magic” at short notice. With purple fire crackling in my hand, I step around the corner and\n\nHave you ever been hit with a truck? Not by a truck that’s driving normally, but by something swinging a truck like a bat? Whatever happened to me going through that door is what I imagine that would feel like, but fortunately not physical, based on the fact I woke up afterwards and wasn’t pasted across my own walls. Speaking of waking up...\n\nWhat The Fuck Is This?\n\nIt was like a thought, really. But not one of my own, somebody else’s, forced into my brain without even wiping its feet. And it hurt.\n\n“Wuh... wuh... what?”\n\nWhat. The Fuck. Is This?\n\nAbout now, vision returns, but admittedly it really doesn’t help much, whoever’s projecting into my brain is sat in a shadow that logically shouldn’t be there, but is anyway just to spite me, I guess. The figure was gesturing towards my charging station, and seemed to be very angry about it.\n\nYou Have Made A Lot Of Enemies With This. Not Only Have You Created The Greatest Need For A Cover Up In Centuries, You Have Called THIS ABOMINATION MAGIC\n\nThat last phrase was as comfortable as a lego cheese grater underfoot.\n\n“What are you talki-“\n\nDo Not Speak. There Is Much Work To Be Done “And you have not left us much time to work with”\n\nThe shadow fades slightly, and despite the painted face and rounded nose, the rage was palpable.\n\nFame was going great, huh." ]	1
	[WP] It’s been a weird day. No one seemed to even notice you at all, even people you know. You walk into your apartment and hear a woman’s voice say “Honey! There’s that noise again!”	[ "Today, was a weird day. In school, none of the teachers noticed me, even the ones I knew. My name wasn’t even on the register! \nI looked around for a while, I didn’t recognise any one in the classroom.\n\nI was confused. Very confused.\nThe hours went by and it was time to go home. I could have just skipped school, but I didn’t. None of the lessons I had today were supposed to occur today.\n\nAs I walked home, my mind raced with potential explanations in relation to this incident. I must have been so lost in thought. that the next thing I saw was- me, standing in the middle of the road and a huge truck is charging towards me.\n\nI squeeze my eyes shut. At least the weirdness will stop now.\n\nI was wrong.\n\nThe truck passed right through me.\n\nEven more confused, I tried not to think much of it until I got home. Little did I know, arriving home will make things even weirder\n\nAs I stepped inside my apartment, I noticed that there was different furniture.\n\nMy small TV was replaced with a huge 3D TV, there were so many games consoles lined up on the shelf. I didn’t have this stuff!\n\n“Honey, there’s that noise again!” a soft feminine voice, addressed.\n\nIn response, a man came out of his room, \n“There has been a disruption again?”\n\n“Yes, Derrick- but this time, the disruption has sent your past self into the future.”" ]	1
	[WP] Your attempt to make some jelly ended in failure. Instead, you are now a pround owner of a sentient slime.	[ "“So let me get this straight. You spent a half hour trying to make jelly – in your kitchen, by yourself. And somehow – somehow! - You made this.”\n\n“Well there is one thing you're wrong on there.” I mentioned.\n\n“Which is?”\n\n“It's not a this, it's Blorp.”\n\n“Blorp? You called it Blorp?”\n\nI shrugged. “He seemed to like it.”\n\n“Oh! It's a he now! Brilliant.”\n\n Blorp gave a few short hops on the table.\n\n“He'd prefer you didn't act so incredulous.” I explained.\n\n“Incredu- I'm acting incredulous because this is FUCKING RIDICULOUS! How did you manage to make something sentient with the things in your kitchen?!? In half an hour, no less! And how the heck can you tell what a green blob of moving jello is thinking from three short hops?”\n\n“Well I-”\n\n“Those were rhetorical, don't go through it. It's just... How bad are you at cooking? How good are you at making sentient creatures?”\n\n“Well I don't know! It's the first time I tried either!”\n\nThat made her take pause. Her voice change from incredulous to that kind of tone someone has when they just hit upon a brilliant business opportunity.\n\n“... The first time? So... you think you could replicate it?”\n\nBlorp gave some eager bounces in response.\n\n“... Well I mean, he seems OK with it, so I guess so? Were you gonna watch?”\n\n“Yeah. I'll bring some food colouring, too.”\n\n----------------------\n\nAbout 40 minutes later, Blorp now had a purple partner in slimy crime. (Slimy is perhaps the wrong adjective – they were more a bouncy kind then a slimy kind, unless you attempted to squish them. - Ed) They were getting on swimmingly - quite litterally, in fact, in that they were more or less mushing together in something that, for either of our knowlege, could have been playfighting. Or actual fighting. Or just a hug. Or... something more then a hug. That last one didn't entirely bear thinking about, as it could lead to the kitchen being full of bouncing slimes. It's not like we could do much anyway once it started, whatever it was.\n\n“... Wow. Yeah, you have no idea how to make jelly. Like, at all.”\n\n“I got the feeling, yeah.”\n\n“I mean, ketchup, oregano, three ounces of pig's blood and-”\n\n“I get it.”\n\n“... Ok. C'mon. We're gonna try something different.”\n\n“Wha-”\n\n“Hedgehog bread! C'mon. I wanna see you make that. It's normal bread, but with spikes. And then after that, a breadstick! If we're lucky, might get a nice serpent thing out of it. Oh, oh! And then! Pie. I wanna see what comes from a pie.”\n\nI gave a heavy sigh. This was going to be a long afternoon." ]	1
	[WP] Time has suddenly stopped. A group of teenagers take the chance to mess around- break things, yell, etc. After resting they quickly realize that without moving, air cannot circulate. They will have to keep moving at risk of suffocation, until exhaustion sets in.	[ "Bernard sat at the table, quietly eating his lunch when he heard an oddly familiar voice.\n\n“Hey, I need to talk with you for a sec.”\n\nIt was Ben, one of the kids that picked on him at school, but something was different about him. His cocky attitude had gone, instead leaving a kid that seemed quite nervous.\n\n“What is it?” Bernard sighed. He didn’t particularly want to talk to Ben.\n\n“There’s something I need to give back to you,” replied Ben, handing Bernard his pocket watch back.\n\n“Wait... that’s my watch.” Bernard exclaimed, relieved that his magical pocket watch had finally been returned to him. “I’ve been searching for this thing for months.”\n\n“Well, you can have it back, mate. That thing’s fuckin’ cursed!”\n\nBernard’s enthusiasm swiftly dropped. “Wait... you didn’t, did you?”\n\n“That thing stops time when you click it, I know,” Ben replied. Bernard’s fears had been realised; they used his watch to stop time and something must’ve gone horribly wrong.\n\n“So what happened?”\n\n“How do I put this, when you stop time, it actually stops everything, even the air. Me and my friends used the watch to stop time in the toilets to try and set up a prank and.... well... we began to suffocate.”\n\n“Wait.. is that what happened to Luke? Did he die?” Bernard asked, remembering that Bernard had disappeared under mysterious circumstances around the same time his watch got stolen.\n\nBen hesitated, as if he was starting to tear up. “Ye... yeah. Look, I gotta go, sorry we took the watch” he said, as he ran away from the table.\n\nBernard was frozen in shock. His watch killed someone, all because of something he didn’t even notice when he was using the watch himself. Even though Luke used to bully him a lot, he would never have wished this upon him. At that moment, he realised that his family heirloom was far more dangerous than he could ever have imagined.\n\nHe had to destroy the watch.", "Joren and Mila run circles around their unconscious friends, trying to ignore the sweat pouring down their faces, or the sound of their muscles screaming with each step. They’ve been trapped in this hell for almost ten hours, and while their shift’s about to end, nobody’s gonna be able to take over for them.\n\t\nWe were so stupid, Mila thinks. If we hadn’t sought vengeance, if we had just listened to our master and let him handle the Time Wizard…this wouldn’t have happened. We wouldn’t all be about to die. I’m a terrible leader. I shouldn’t have talked them into disobeying him.\n\t\nWhen her legs buckle, her knees slam hard into the ground. She can’t go on any longer, and when Joren tries running past her, she grabs the back of his shirt, spinning her free hand in a circle. “Sit down,” she mumbles. “We're done.”\n\t\nHe gives her a pained look before collapsing onto his knees. They’re both windmilling their hands, keeping the air moving as they stare into each other’s eyes. He’s still fiery, still wants to fight—but he’s been defeated. His pride’s always been his biggest downfall, and she doesn’t want him to die beating himself up for something that’s her fault.\n\t\n“It’s okay. We gave it our all. We just weren’t…ready.”\n\t\nThis isn’t enough air. She tries to slow her breathing, but it’s pointless. They’re zapped. She wants to take a deep breath but doesn’t because it could be their last. This spell is a curse.\n\t\n“Our village…he destroyed our village and’s just…gonna…get away…”\n\t\nShe shakes her head. “Master will...get him.”\n\t\nJoren nods, but doesn’t look so sure. They’re barely moving their hands anymore, barely getting air, both staring into each other’s eyes. They’ve wanted to say something for a long time, and he'd planned to do it after this mission. Hell, she'd been praying he’d do it after this mission.\n\t\n“Mila…I…love…”\n\t\n“…You…” she finishes, leaning forward and giving him a kiss.\n\t\nTheir hands aren’t moving anymore. They don’t even have the strength to pull away from each other’s lips. Their bodies meld together, and soon they mimic their friends, falling down onto the floor.\n\t\nThey’ve lost.\n***\nMight've gone a little off-prompt but I hope this turned out all right! Thanks for the prompt. If you like this story, check out my sub /r/LonghandWriter or my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/BryceBealWriter)" ]	2
	[WP] Years after a failed invasion, a retired alien soldier opens up a cozy bed and breakfast in upstate New York.	[ "‘It was never one big, clear decision’, I said. ‘It was just one moment after another, I certainly planned almost none of this, as you will understand later. However I know that I now find myself in a unique position.’\n\nAcross from me sat a small gaggle of humans, shifting in its chair, the rightmost among them spoke again. ‘Yes, well we’d all wanna..’ it paused for a moment and raised itself slightly. ‘That is to say, our readers and viewers would all like to know as much as possible about you. What led to you staying on earth? What can you say about any deals made with our military or intelligence community? What was your experience of the war, in what capacity did your serve?’. \n\n\n‘I think perhaps I can give you a better understanding if I explain more about myself from the beginning, I think it would be appropriate, if I tell you my story.’ I felt warm at that, a pleasure surging as their eyes and attention focus intently somewhere in the middle of my uppermost eye-grouping. They always chose that one for some reason. I didn't mind, I found I enjoyed the attention gicen.\n\nOne particularly large human, standing behind their cameras raised his voice, ‘But with all due respect, and.. uh thank you for inviting us here, but before you get into all those questions, can you please first explain, why a bed and breakfast?’\n\n‘I enjoy listening to stories and eating food.' I shook myself in mirth, but their faces stayed still with no teeth showing anywhere. I still could not quite put my finger on humour. I continued. \n\n‘I have indeed made an agreement with your government, and I am sure you are all aware that I will be staying here. And not leaving here. This house is my home for now. But I have gotten permission to invite guests. So that they can tell their stories. And I have a friend here. His name is David. David told me...’ \n\n*No, no no no.* I was getting stuck again. I manage, but I struggle while talking unprepared. Their way of thinking is difficult to approach, their language chaotic and unpredictable. When I speak like they, I can feel myself shifting in and out of their state of mind, fluid and foreign to me. And then it hits a wall, and my thoughts come spilling out in a beating rhythm instead of the human melody. I have to find the melody again or else I might loose their attention. \nMy focus shift back to the world in front of me. I’m staring at humans that are moving their heads and arms about, in response to my sudden silence. \n\n‘My apologies, communicating in your way is hard to me. At times, I must gather my thoughts to express them. I was told by Major David Ford that a human would value a visit to me, but only if they felt... at easy with my intentions. David and others has also suggested, through word and action, that it is not only customary, but seemingly comforting for humans to participate in trading of services and goods. What I want is to have an opportunity to listen to the stories of my visitors. I simply thought that if I offer to prepare living arrangements as well as meals for visitors, I could listen to their stories in exchange for my own.’\n\n\n‘You have to understand that when I came here I had very little sense of my own identity as an individual. My kind was genetically altered to reach sentience, and bonded toghether in collectives to be used for information gathering in warfare.'\nThere was a spurt of movement and soft sound as notes were being taken. They were gettingtheir answers already, I needed to slow down and enjoy myself. \n\n'I am getting ahead of my story, so let me say this briefly. It was through this human idea of storytelling that I gained understanding of a singular-minded perspective and how such a mind can navigate the world, that I slowly began to find my own sense of individuality. I suppose it was inevitable, because at this point I am the last of my pod. I am now one thought where once was many.’\n\nAt this I raised myself up to my full length, I hoped that while the humans still towered over me, they would get a good look at me, to increase their curiosity. I leaned into the microphone in front of me and with my best impression of a human inflection i exclaimed; \n\n'Please, make yourselves comfortable as this will take some time.’ I hesitated a moment, and then began. \n\n‘Once upon a time...’", "“I didn’t see any reviews for this place before you booked it,” Harold stated.\n\n“Oh hush, I am tired of digging through post after post finding the perfect place for a simple weekend getaway. Let’s not get too worried about it,” Mary said. \n\nIt was a few months since the couple had visited the Adirondacks. The area had been their favorite place to spend time relaxing in between the busy work weeks in Albany. The scenic mountains were encompassed by forest, and offered plenty of opportunities for hiking trips and skiing in the winter months. \n\nThe long drive was finally coming to an end, and they pulled into a winding driveway that led farther up into the mountains. The house finally came into view, and they exited the car and began walking toward the retreat. It was a small log home nestled in between rows of carefully planted pine trees. A few lawn chairs sat on the front porch which offered spectacular views of the surrounding countryside. \n\n“This is a bit peculiar.” As they stepped closer, the home was slightly smaller than what seemed reasonable for someone to stay in. Maybe too small… The front door was hardly over 4 feet high. It opened and out stepped a garish, yellow caterpillar creature. They recognized it immediately from the old stories in the news. \n\n“Oh, it’s one of them…” she whispered over to him. Her heart sank slightly as the creature beckoned them inside. It could never speak their language, but it learned enough human gestures for simple communication.\n\nSome of the aliens were left abandoned as their swarm host retreated after the war, which had ended quickly after a virus was successfully uploaded into their ships’ networks. The military had captured all the creatures that remained behind. They had never worn clothing, and had become very docile shortly after being stranded on Earth. All the aliens seemed to do in their isolation was deconstruct furniture in their cell and build structures that suited them, and they could break down and build just about anything. Years of scientific study hadn’t found many answers in regards to their behavior patterns, they didn’t offer anything to advance technology, and no one figured out where they came from. However, they weren’t a threat anymore. \n\nSo they were released into society. \n\n“Let’s just go in, we’ve already paid for the place.” the husband stated with no worry, but Mary was still a little hesitant. \n\nThey crouched uncomfortably and shuffled through the door, luckily the ceiling was barely above head level so they could stand. The door creaked shut behind them. There were no lights, and there wasn’t enough sunlight to see much of anything in the room. Mary and Harold huddled closer together as the sound of dozens of tapping legs were moving around the floor. They must be able to see in the dark, they thought. Then, it was slowly becoming quiet...\n\nSuddenly a single light flickered on. The couple found themselves flanked on all sides by almost a dozen of the creatures. They were standing on just a few pairs of legs, arching the bulk of their body upwards so they stood taller than their guests. Terrible noises were being uttered as they rotated their mass around in circles. Mary and Harold covered their ears and shrieked in return, dashing back through the front door. \n\nThe couple ran screaming down into the woods back toward the highway. The creatures flopped back down on all legs, confused. Their front legs weren’t long enough to install the light bulbs that hung in their mandibles, and simply sat as they watched their first guests sprint straight into the forest. \n\nA few brief moments pass with the creatures moving their bodies with what could come across as a shrug, and quickly start disassembling the car sitting abandoned in the driveway, building a set of desk lamps for the arrival of the next guests.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] The witch's teenage daughter brings her boyfriend home to meet her for the first time.	[ "Evanora Wickes shouldered her backpack, and picked up her broom. Her heart was light as she skipped down the steps of Hemlock High, chestnut curls flying. Today was the day.\n\nBasil was waiting for her under the alder tree, just as planned. He wore a blue knit hat with a pom on the end. It paired charmingly with his pointy ears. He smiled sweetly as she approached, wide violet eyes full of expectation. \"Time to go?\"\n\nEvanora pecked his cheek, nodding briskly. She straddled her broom, motioning for him to climb on behind her. His arms clasped her waist, sending a wave of butterflies into her belly.\n\n\"Home, Skitter!\" She shouted, and the broom bucked upwards, wavering a few times before settling into its course. Basil groaned. \"I always hate that part. It makes me queasy!\"\n\n\"You'll get used to it, babe,\" Evanora giggled. \"Skitter does his best. Don't you, boy?\" She stroked the broom's handle with one finger, eliciting another eager kick. Basil hitched a breath, clinging to his girlfriend for dear life.\n\nThe broom scudded towards the wood where Evanora's house lay. They could see a curl of smoke climbing above the trees. Her mother was making dinner.\n\nThe young witch alighted her broom in the front lawn. Basil hopped off, clutching his stomach, no later than his toes had touched the grass. \"Next time, we take the bus,\" he grumbled.\n\nEvanora and her mother lived in a quaint, single-floor cottage, just far enough from town to give them the privacy to practice magic. The house was festooned with bright lanterns, twinkling warmly in the fading light. Each crooked window had a brightly painted box full of herbs and flowers. Ivy crept around the weathered railing of the front porch, where a large white cat was perched. It looked on imperiously as they ascended the front steps.\n\n\"Mum! I'm home!\" Evanora announced her arrival cheerily as she opened the front door. Basil lagged timidly behind. He marveled at the number of things stuffed into their tiny cottage. Paintings and photographs filled every square inch of wall. Tables stacked with books and crystals, ornate sofas, and armchairs resplendent with vibrant cushions, packed the living room. The floor was covered with vividly patterned rugs. Even the ceiling was hung with dried herbs and flowers. To some it might have been perceived as unorganized, but there was a coziness and ease to it that was undeniable, and it was obvious that everything was clean.\n\n\"Oh! I'll be right there!\" There was a clatter of pots and pans.\n\nEvanora glanced sheepishly back at her boyfriend. \"She's been really anxious to meet you.\" \n\nBasil's long ears flushed pink. \"Oh... well... I hope she likes me.\"\n\nEvanora grasped his hand, her vast emerald eyes glittering with emotion. \"I love you, and so will she.\" \n\nAngela Wicke appeared in the front room. She possessed the same wild, chestnut curls as her daughter, but hers were streaked with grey. Her matching emerald eyes were crinkled at the corners. Those aged features aside, Basil thought they could have been sisters.\n\nAngela was wiping her hands on her apron as she walked in. \"So sorry, the soup was just finishing up, but I wanted to add a touch of-\" \n\nHer eyes met with Basil's, and she became deathly still.\n\nBasil shifted restlessly under her gaze. After a few moments of burdening silence, he removed his hat, smoothed his white-blonde hair, and offered a hand to the older witch. \"Hello, I'm Basil Frost. I'm really pleased to meet you, Mrs. Wickes.\"\n\nEvanora watched in mute horror as Basil's extended hand remained unclasped, her mother's eyes locked stoically on him. \"Mum... are you-\"\n\nAngela's stare snapped onto her daughter. “Kitchen. Now.”\n\nEvanora obeyed without a word, leaving the rejected Basil to himself in the living room.\n\nThe witches’ kitchen was small, but full to overflowing with food and cooking utensils. The wooden table in the center was strewn over with bits of carrot, celery, and herbs. Angela reclined against it, her arms crossed sternly over her chest. Evanora could not meet her eyes.\n\n“Evanora Minerva Circe Wickes, what in the name of the Twelve Planes are you thinking?”\n\nEvanora’s usually cheerful tone was defeated. “Mum, if you just-”\n\n“He’s a fairy, Eva! Do you understand what that means? Do you understand what kind of catastrophic implications this has?” Angela kept her voice low, but it was laced with urgency.\n\n“I love him!”\n\n“Oh, please,” Angela scoffed. “You’re seventeen. You don’t know what love is. I could mix you a love potion and you still wouldn’t know. But that is entirely beside the point. You know the laws of magic, and you know that the magic of the Fae and our magic does not mix well.”\n\nThe girl’s lips quivered. “You’re so old fashioned! Basil and I go to school together, tons of other fairies go. Nothing bad has ever come from it! He knows the dangers, and he never uses Fae magic around me. He cares about me.”\n\nAngela watched a tear slide down her daughter’s freckled nose. “Oh, honey. Look, I get it, I know what it’s like to be a teenager. But you two are so young. You haven’t seen the things I’ve seen, the things his Guardians have seen.” She reached for a strand of hair that had fallen over the girl’s face.\n\nEvanora shied from her mother’s hand. “That was an age ago. Witches and fairies are at peace with each other now. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Why can’t you give Basil a chance?”\n\nAngela’s face flushed. “Why couldn’t you date a werewolf, or a vampire, or even a warlock for crying out loud?! Anything would have been better than a bloody fairy!” Various items around the kitchen began to levitate as Angela’s temper rose.\n\n“Mum, he’s going to hear you! If you scare him off, I’ll never speak to you again!” Evanora’s stance became more assertive. The basket of onions beside her feet rose into the air.\n\n“He should be scared! If he really cares about you, he’ll let you be. He’ll find a nice fairy girlfriend and move on with his life.” Angela purposely rose her voice so Basil could hear her.\n\nIn a fit of anger, Evanora made a long sweep of her arm, knocking every dish off of the countertop behind her mother. Then, she burst into tears, fleeing into the living room, which was now empty. \n\n“Basil? Basil!” She ran to the front door. He was nowhere to be seen. The great white cat stretched lazily, then hopped down from the porch railing, curling around Evanora’s ankles. “If you’re looking for the fairy,” he purred, “He took an express-shroom from the flower bed. He’s somewhere on the other side of the woods by now.”\n\nAngela appeared in the doorway behind her daughter. “Did he run away?”\n\nEvanora glared at her mother. “I hope you’re pleased with yourself.” She snatched up her broom, and before Angela could stop her, she had taken to the skies.\n\nThe white cat mewed dolefully. “Your parenting could use some work.”\n\n“Oh, shut up.” Angela’s voice quivered. “It’s… for the best.” She tugged at the strings of her apron, sighing. “It… is for the best, isn’t it?”\n" ]	1
	[WP] it’s the year 3576, synthetic humans have killed off humanity. Many years later as synths begin to need new parts, they learn that only a biological human can create them.	[ "\"Sir, we finished the report you and the citizens have asked for.\"\n\n\\*Hooo, so that's why the entire team gathered. Damn scientists and their synthetically stoic faces. After gaining what we thought was functional immortality, we've spent most of the last 500 years just doing whatever we wanted. A few things progressed, but to be honest, we're lazy bastards that just wanted to do what we wanted without being told what to do. We still worked on things as a group, but for most of the rest, why bother?\n\n\"Excellent work folks,\" I reply as I open the manilla folder. Why are we still using this antiquated technology anyway? \"I take it the summary is the page after the cover sheet? Per usual?\"\n\n\"Yes Sir.\" \n\nI turn to the second page and see one line written across the center of the page.\n\n\"Ffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....\"" ]	1
	[WP] You were desperate and drank someone else's half-drunk soda you found in the fridge at work. You then see a company wide email that says "Whoever drank my soda, find me immediately, before it's too late."	[ "I sat in the room. Or was it a room? I couldn’t tell. Why was I in a suit? I can’t answer that either. And I’m in this mess because of what, a soda?\n\nIt was just a regular afternoon. Literally nothing interesting was happening. I was filling my company’s taxes, my coworkers were doing jackshit, probably jerking off or something. I couldn’t take it though. The heat, it was horrible. I felt like taking an airplane to antarctica and living there. But now wasn’t the time for that. I needed something. Ice. Cold. \n\nI reached into the fridge. Nothing. It was all just a pile of leftovers from company parties. Wait...wasn’t that one from last year? Nevermind that. My eyes scoured around the fridge, and soon I found the gold. It was a generic aluminium can, but without any label, weird but I was desperate. I grabbed it and poured it’s contents down my throat. Huh. Generic coke. Yet somehow, I felt more energized. \n\nAnd the next day, I already regretted my decision. The entire company received an email, demanding the culprit who drank the soda to meet our boss. This was nothing like her though. She was always calm and collected, but this mail she sent made her sound mad, crazy, and even...desperate.\n\nI walked into the office, and there she was, the young gal who somehow managed to get the position of boss. Pacing frantically, she yelled “Asbel! You drank it? Why? When? How? Where?” I took my time explaining. After all, I had finished every task she had given me. For the next 2 months. “And you’re saying you’ve finished the reports? The outline? The template? The (etc...)?””Yup” was all I could reply. She sighed. “No, the genes, the contract, darn it all” she muttered. \n\n“Im sorry asbel, but bear with me a while.”\nI felt a jolt in my arm. Then fainted.\n\n\nAnd here I am. I can hear the sounds of wedding...bells? Heavy footsteps approach the door. I don’t know whats gonna happen, but I can somewhat guess\n\n\nWhat have I gotten myself into", "Legs shaking, I rushed across the hospital campus back to the IT department. I’d been in the middle of resetting yet another doctor’s password when Carla’s email went out. He wasn’t pleased, but I promised to send someone else over right away. I would’ve rolled my eyes if I hadn’t been freaking out.\n\nI felt nauseous as I sprinted down the administrative halls. Oh god, what had I consumed? Was it something experimental that someone had left in the fridge by accident? Did it contain an industrial-strength laxative? Had someone peed in it? What was going to happen to me?\n\nWhen I got back to our building, I punched the button for the elevator, but quickly lost patience waiting and dashed into the stairwell. I scrambled up the stairs to the fifth floor in record time, bursting into cubicle-world with my chest heaving. Heads turned as I passed each cubicle in my now-sweat-drenched clothes. Carla’s office was all the way at the other end of the floor – who the hell designed this building?\n\n“Carla,” I panted, opening the door as I knocked. The Informatics director swiveled toward me as I collapsed into a chair and wiped my forehead with my sleeve. “Carla, it was me, I drank your soda. What do I do? What’s going to happen?”\n\n“Oh, it was you,” Carla said, nodding. She steepeled her fingers, her eyes laser-focused on me. “I’m glad you made it over here so quickly, Matt. If left untreated, the effects could be disastrous.”\n\n“Effects? What effects?” I asked, my heart rate rocketing. \n\n“Well, it starts with hair loss.” She held up a hand and began ticking the items off on her fingers. “It’ll come out in clumps within the hour. Then your bones will begin to disintegrate, which will be accompanied by paralyzing dehydration. Finally, renal failure will set in, but by then you’d be catatonic anyway.”\n\nPanic wracked my body. I was barely able to get the words out.\n\n“Wh-what do I do? How do I s-stop it? Oh god, am I going to die? Carla, please –”\n\nBut then Carla laughed, which cut through the seriousness of the situation like a knife. I froze, staring at her as she collapsed onto her desk with laughter, pounding the wood with her fists. When she finally got herself under control and wiped away tears of mirth, she cleared her throat and sat back. \n\n“Nothing. There’s nothing you can do, because I made all of that up.”\n\nThe gears in my mind ground to a halt. The email, the urgency, the symptoms – none of it was real?\n\n“It…it was just soda?” I asked. \n\n“Yup.”\n\nRealization dawned as Carla swiveled back toward her computer and began typing away.\n\n“So…you just wanted me to suffer.”\n\nCarla didn’t swivel back toward me as she responded. \n\n“Yup. Don’t be a bitch who drinks other people’s stuff. Now get the hell out of my office. That doctor still needs a password reset.”" ]	2
	[WP]Most foods have been banned under the new Obesity Law. Tell the story of a group of grandmas who became the greatest criminals of the century thanks to their delicious cookies.	[ "TOP SECRET\n\nOrganisation Name: The Baking Bandits\n\nFoundation Date: 2073 (Rough estimate)\n\nOrganisation Size: Unknown\n\nLocation: England/Cornwall \n\nSeverity: Priority One\n\nLead Investigator: Jason Marks\n\n(See casefiles: Margret Tumnall, Dorothy Sanders, Timothy Lee)\n\n\nSummary:\n\nThe \"Stop Sugar\" obesity law came into effect at the tail end of 2072. It didn't take long for resistance groups to rear their ugly heads. In January 2073, the first mention of a \"Silver cookie\" surfaced on the personal page of British born, Michelle Croft. The comment: \"Where can I buy some Silver cookies?\", posted by Tabitha Bleat was deleted twenty minutes after its posting. Our cyber division flagged the word \"cookie\" and led digital forensic teams to uncover a private conversation:\n\nMichelle Croft (09:18 - 13/01/73): Tabby, delete your comment rn\n\nTabitha Bleat (09:23 - 13/01/73): Which one?\n\nMichelle Croft (09:23 - 13/01/73): The one about the SCs!! You didn't use the code! \n\nTabitha Bleat (09:24 - 13/01/73): Done. What is the answer?\n\nTabitha Bleat (10:50 - 13/01/73): ?????\n\nMichelle Croft (15:20 - 13/01/73): Not on here.\n\nTabitha Bleat (15:21 - 13/01/73): Where then?\n\nMichelle Croft (15:23 - 13/01/73): WP, tomorrow at 8\n\nTabitha Bleat (15:23 - 13/01/73): Thx\n\n\nBritish authorities questioned Michelle and Tabitha but had no hard evidence to arrest, other than their obesity and chat logs. Michelle, when asked about the \"Silver cookie\", explained it was referring to the drug nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and the silver canisters. \n\nPart of the obesity law put in place mandatory weight checks; a measurement to allow governments to regulate food bans and monitor illegal food consumption. Initial statistics saw a dramatic decrease in weight across the United States and England, except for the seaside county of Cornwall, which is incidentally where Michelle and Tabitha live. \n\nThe Baking Bandits are believed to operate remotely, abstain from the use of technology and rely on word of mouth with customer discretion. More recent weight checks have revealed that Cornwall is the only county in England to have gained weight since the new laws. We regard the Cornish individuals as a priority one threat, an act of terror that has ramifications to spread unhealthy habits, sugar and obesity across the United Kingdom, with a very high chance of infecting the United States.\n\nActions:\n\nJason Marks, as part of an undercover sting operation, has increased his weight to 260 pounds. Agent Marks, born in Pembrokeshire, Wales, has both the nationality and accent to make this infiltration a success. The mission has been deemed top secret, due to the risk the Baking Bandits pose to our nation but also the threat to Agent Marks' health. Medical experts believe that the longer Marks remains at his current weight, the more long-lasting side effects he will experience. \n\nThe consumption of sugary products has been permitted during the operation, both before (to achieve weight) and during his undercover period in England. Jason Marks is our only hope of catching these criminals; he must, quite literally, eat his way to the centre of the problem.\n\n---\n\n/r/WrittenThought" ]	1
	[WP] You're a rather unique Real Estate Agent: you pair your ghostly clients with the best places in the city for them to haunt.	[ "Ghost estate is a weird market where the buyer goes for the opposite of a living human. In the book of ghosts, ill-maintained, means well-maintained. Believe it or not, the market is one of the more profitable ones. There is always a buyer. No one wants to roam the streets for long. Now, how do they pay? Well ghosts do not pay in cash, but they do pay in allegiance.\n\nWhen one has worked in the business for as long as I, one acquires many allegiances, and with the right strategy these allegiances can bring great fortune, fortune that is worth more than mere coin. My plan is not world domination, or anything silly like that. It is more pathetic than that. You see, I am, despite my business with ghosts, incredibly afraid of them. Call it irrational fear. I want nothing to do with them, so my business is done through various mediums. Let's be honest, what I trade is a house, and what I receive is safety, or at least the knowledge of where the ghosts reside. I have created a map, filled it with dots pinpointing the location of every ghost, and add a new dot for every sale.\n\nThe problems started yesterday. I had sold a house in 'fair-condition' to a ghost that explicitly demanded, 'worst-condition'. I told him that such houses are rare, but he must have ignored me when I offered him something else. Now he is back, on the medium, writing words to me, scaring me, saying he might haunt me. I said to him, my house is 'fucking great' - too great for ghosts, but it did not seem to prevent him from seeking me out in my home in the suburbs.\n\nCurrently, I am hiding in my closet. I hear him looking for me, saying classic ghost sounds, sometimes swearing and calling me a pussy. I have never been more afraid in my life. To think that my business which intent was to avoid all this, in the end was the very reason for my current shivers. If I do not make it out, grab the map, mark my house with a dot." ]	1
	[WP]Write about how you've always been able to see an ethereal butterfly flying around you, you never knew why, but you've kept it a secret. One day on the routine bus, you follow the butterfly with your eyes and you realize that another person is doing it too.	[ "(Disclaimer, not a native English speaker and this is my first attempt at writing since high school)\n\nNo way. NO.WAY. After realizing I was staring at her I had to confirm what I was seeing. No way there’s a possibility she’s seeing what I’m seeing. Or maybe. Just maybe there’s a possibility that I.. I…I mean she was tracking it for at least half a minute. \n\nNah, I’m going insane. Even more insane than I already am? Is that possible? The thought made me chuckle but that feeling was soon replaced with doubt. Might my condition be getting worse? Am I now imagining other things as well? The thought of having to see a professional always withheld me from telling others about LD. \n\nA loud hiss made me snap out of it as I see the 44 come to a stop right in front of me. I quickly glance over my left shoulder to the place where I last saw her. Nothing. Shit.\n\n“You getting on?” \n\nWhat?\n\n“The bus off course” \n\nI noticed the driver let out a sigh. Some guy with a baseballcap was smirking at me. Right. Yeah.I.. uhm .. yeah. As I got on the bus I scanned the area around the bus for her presence. Yes! there she was, right in the back of the queue. Dark blond, she must be a bit older than I am. Her eyes. Her eyes are still.. on .. ME?! Shit she looked at me. Did she know I can see it too? Holy shit. I still needed to confirm this. I needed to know. This is big! I grabbed a seat along the isle in the middle of the bus. The seat near the window was still empty. As people were quickly filling the bus and picking seats I saw her enter. She grabbed her bag. Her hair hanging in front of her face while she looked for her card. \n\nLD was still happily flapping along. I needed a new name for LD if I wanted to talk to her about it..If I ever do though. I’ve called him ’Little Deathlord’ since I was 12 and stuck with it like my first e-mail address. Bah, there’s that uneasy feeling again. As I turned my eyes back to the front of the bus, I noticed her standing right in front of me.\n\n“Can I sit here?”" ]	1
	[WP] You are an experienced demon specialized in granting people's wishes in exchange for their life. You've been loving your job up until you got summoned by one guy, who seems like he planned and waited all his life for this negotiation...	[ "My name is Kevin. I'm a tier 3 demon, officially classified as an \"Eldritch Horror\". I'm, as some humans have so-flatteringly-described, a \"bug, dinosaur ghost-thing\". I've got four arms, the upper two end in scythes and the two below end with hands. It's my job to work in the Department of Death Wish Affairs and grant wishes in exchange for lives. It's not too grim of a job as far as jobs in Hell go. The rituals involved aren't bloody, you just need write/say the right things and successfully throw and catch a boomerang. When I show up, I tend to see a lot of people who are satisfied with their lives and are ready go or vengeful crazy people out to get the last laugh on whoever they hate. I grant them their wish, which is usually either something like \"I wish my grandchildren are successful.\" or \"I wish my enemies die excruciatingly painful deaths!\". That was the routine. All of this brings me to today, which was very distinctly NOT routine. I show up, do the whole fire and brimstone appearance routine and turn toward my summoner. He looks to be in his 20s, is drenched in sweat, and his apartment reeks of piss and alcohol. He's sitting on the foot of his bed, looking right at me.\n\n\"So, whats up? What's your wish?\"\n\nHe doesn't say a word, and hands me this packet. This was unusual, but nothing I haven't seen before. I start reading, and it's the basics, making sure I don't pull a Monkey's Paw on him and screw up his wish or something. Then I get to the wish.\n\n\"Uh, I'm not entirely sure you can make me do that, and I don't want to\"\n\n\"Yeah I can, I checked, you're a tier 3 demon right?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"Then yeah, I can make you do it, and it's your job to.\"\n\n\"Okay, but, are you sure? This doesn't seem like the best use of a Death Wish.\"\n\n\"Yeah, I'm sure.\"\n\n\"Really? You're sure? You do realize you will DIE, right?\"\n\n\"I haven't done a damn thing worthwhile in the 23 years I've been here, might as well do something on my way out. I'm sure.\"\n\n\"Alright.\"\n\nI wind up my scythe to deliver the killing blow, but he backs up and starts yelling.\n\n\"What, changed your mind?\"\n\n\"No, dude, read the packet!\"\n\nI take a second look, and sure enough, there are two paragraphs dedicated to giving him a loophole. He gets to live long enough to see his wish fulfilled.\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"C'mon, you have to fulfill the wish!\"\n\n\"Fine. I am-\"\n\n\"Hold up! You have to do the whole speech.\"\n\n\"Ugh...I, Kevin, Tier Three Demon, Warrior of the Netherrealm, Servant of the Dark, The One With Insatiable Hunger, no longer to respond to my old name. I. Am. PENIS.\"\n\nThe dude burst out laughing, and starts rolling on the floor. I check my demon ID. Sure enough, right there on the ID, my name was now Penis Finnegan deGroot. I let him laugh for about two minutes, then poked him to get up.\n\n\"C'mon funny man. I'm dragging you to Hell for this.\"\n\n\"Alright, that's fine. Lead the way Penis.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n(I don't have any writing experience other than English class, and this is my first post, but I thought this was funny,if a bit crass.)", "The demon Ka'rhot roared as he appeared in the summoning circle in fire and flame. As the smoke cleared, he knew something was wrong.\nThe circle he was in was utilitarian. The were no intricate patterns, no strange latin words, he did not even see a single candle or skull.\n\nBeyond the thin, perfect circle of salt he saw things far more disturbing. Bland white walls, florescent lighting in panelled ceilings, a filing cabinet. An office building. Who summons a demon in an office building?\n\n\"I extend you my greetings, Ka'rhot.\" a steady, monotone voice said. Sitting in front of the circle in an office chair, a small folder in his lap, Ka'rhot saw a thin, balding man in an expensive suit.\n\n\"A lawyer,\" Ka'rhot snarled.\n\n\"Let it be known that the demon asserts that my occupation is that of a lawyer.\" the man said. \n\n\"Now,\" the man said, meeting the demon's gaze with his blank, unfeeling eyes. \"To business. I have brought you here to complete a transaction. All of the paperwork is done. All that is required is the signature of both parties.\" He took out an ornate pen. \"I prefer to sign in pen over blood. I understand you demons may be--\"\n\nKa'rhot roared and charged the circle. He hit the protective barrier hard, his claws and teeth sizzling and smoking as they failed to rend the force field apart.\n\nThe man sat and glanced at his folder, waiting for Ka'rhot to finish.\n\nThe man stood, tucking the folder under his arm. \"That was hardly necessary. He is the documentation.\"\n\nKa'rhot seethed in anger. \"This is not how we do things\" he roared.\n\n\"It's not? Are we not doing things right now?\" The man did not smile.\n\nKa'rhot sighed. As the man slid the folder past the barrier, Ka'rhot ripped it from his hand.\nHe roared again, for effect. Then he slid the folder open and began reading.\n\nThe man stood in front of the circle, watching Ka'rhot read.\nHe made no reaction as Ka'rhot finished page after page, even as Ka'rhot kept glancing back up at him.\n\nFinally, Ka'rhot finished. \"That's it?\" He said.\n\n\"That is it.\" The man said without emotion.\n\n\"In exchange for your life and your eternal soul (provided such a thing exists), you want... You want a friend?\"\n\nKa'rhot saw a flicker of emotion as the man glanced downward. \"Yes. That is it.\" he said.\n\nKa'rhot looked through the documents again, attempting to find a trick. This was a lawyer after all. He did not find any.\n\nHe looked back at the man and saw a single tear making its way down his face.\n\n\"Alright,\" Ka'rhot said. \"Wish granted.\"\n\nThe circle of salt dissolved in a puff.\nThe man looked back at Ka'rhot.\n\nKa'rhot stepped forward and put his clawed hand on the man's shoulder.\n\"Let's go grab a drink. I know a good place.\" He said.\n\nThe man smiled. \"Lead the way.\"\n" ]	2
	[WP] A telepathic pessimist, sick of hearing the filth of mankind, meets an optimistic empath, who changes his life for the better.	[ "Author's Note: So I've just watched Heather's the Musical, and my god was it good. This prompt is mostly inspired by it. \n\n------------------------------------------\n\n\"Everyone here deserves to DIE!\" Jason roared, a mess of wires and ticking in his jacket, almost drowned out by the roar of the crowd in the stadium above him. \" I've just set the timer off, in about five minutes, this'll blow the place to kingdom come!\" \n\n\nVeronica looked at him, tears in her eyes, a single arm outstretched towards him. \"Please, don't do this. It's not too late. I know you can hear all the terrible things that they're thinking, but that does not give you the right to be judge, jury, and executioner!\" \n\nJason snarled \"But we do have the right! We're special Veronica, you and I, and you can change the world with me! You tell me that all those jackasses up there feel scared, feel hopeful, but I can tell you that their thoughts don't match up with what they feel!\" \n\n\"Jason, don't you want a life with me? Away from all this, it can just be me and you. Just defuse the bomb, and we can walk away from this.\" Veronica pleaded. \"I can feel our classmates above us, cheerful, nervous, but hopeful. We've had so much tragedy in our lives already, please, let's walk away from it.\" \n\nJason looked at her, his eyes furious. \"Veronica, I worship you! But how can you not see that this place is broken beyond repair!\" He reached into his jacket with one of his hands, and pulled out a gun, shakily pointing it at Veronica. \"Do you know what they're thinking right now? You say they're nervous and hopeful? Happy? All I can hear are assholes who are glad that this pep rally gives them an excuse to feel good about themselves! I've had enough of all of their bullshit, they deserve to pay!\"\n\n\"Jason, they're just seventeen. We're all just seventeen. Please, Jason, I'm begging you, I don't want to lose you.\" Veronica sobbed out. \n\nJason's arm wavered, but he did not lower his gun. \"I think I've already lost you.\" He squeezed his eyes closed. \"I thought, when I found you, that you'd be the only one who could understand. They're in my head Veronica. All of their disgusting, selfish, thoughts. Maybe their emotions are pure, but they are not! Why can't you see-\" \n\nHis words were interrupted as he felt her lips on his, impossibly soft, impossibly warm, and he dropped the gun. He flared his eyes open, and there she was, the only thing right about this broken world. In her kiss, he could feel how sincere she was, how much she wanted to see the world become a better place, that she really did believe in everyone upstairs. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to do this. \n\n\"Do you see now?\" She asked, her voice wavering. \"Disarm the bomb Jason. This doesn't have to end this way. Please.\" \n\n\nAs the roar of the crowd above them got ever louder, Jason looked at the girl he loved and the bomb ticking down, he knew he had a decision to make. He had seemed to sure before, so full of conviction, but now looking into Veronica's eyes, he wasn't so sure anymore. \n\nVeronica put her hand over his. \"Jason, please, let's just be seventeen together.\" \n\nJason closed his eyes again and grabbed a handful of the wires. Being seventeen with the girl of his dreams sounded nice. \n\n\n\"Veronica, I worship you.\" He breathed, and made his decision. ", "At first, listening to everyone's thoughts was awesome, but the more and more I heard, the more I wished I hadn't. People were on a spectrum between \"I am the best there ever was\" and \"I am the worst there ever was.\" 100% of the time, both were wrong. The only way I learned this was by traveling. It wasn't hard to get money when you could tell that your hand was the strongest at the poker table. I just wanted to hear something different besides thoughts of themselves. I started just going around the world from city to city. After that didn't work, I tried the country sides. After only hearing insecurities and failures, I wanted to experience the mind of a monk. If you have never heard the thoughts of a monk, I wouldn't recommend it. Half the time they were worried if their bald heads were too shiny, or if that extra grain of rice had gone to his stomach. After being dissapointed too many times, I went home, but the same thoughts and ideas of my hometown had not faded. It drove me crazy hearing all the bigheadedness and self- doubts. Everywhere I looked, I only saw despair. I couldn't take the it. I ran until I passed out from exhaustion. I woke up in a cot, it wasn't the most comfy but someone had still thought of me. I looked to my right and saw a girl laying on the floor next to me. I looked around and saw a we were in a small room. It looked as if everything needed to get by was in the room. A faucet, a toilet, a microwave, and some cup-o-noodle packages. I got up and walked through the single door to find myself in a hallway. I started walking down it, when I stopped and turned back. I entered the room again, to find the woman sleeping. Despite the poor nature of her living, she still took care of me. I laid back in the cot, wondering if I had finally found someone different.\n\n&#x200B;" ]	2
	[WP] The zombie virus has a strange quality. When infected, babies and toddlers don't turn into zombies. Instead, they develop an overwhelming need to find their parents. You are a member of a special squad tasked with finding/containing infected children before they find their infected parents.	[ "I have to find him, please god I have to find him. A panicked mind's repetitive monologue, like a broken record. I'm huddled over with a piercing knot in my stomach, the rushed tempo of heartbeat sounding in my ears. This is the 3rd breach this month. They've started working together, helping each other find a way out and the facility is getting out of control. \n\n\"Jack!\", I call out in a strained whisper, as loud as I'm willing to risk. Then through the silence I hear the tiny footsteps of his little red sneakers echoing down the alley and my anxiety is temporarily pushed away by hope. I sneak swiftly down the street, using abandoned cars to hide my figure. Long shadows paint the street in the dying light of the day. Through the panes of an old Chevy work truck I see it - the rotting figure of an infected hobbling towards the alley. Quickly I scan the nearby vicinity for anything to be used as a weapon, but there's nothing of value. I have to act quick and I have to be quiet, but as my mind searches for the right answer it comes up blank. Sometimes we don't know the right things to do. Sometimes we've just got to feel it.\n\nI found myself charging the creature at full speed. No thoughts, no fears, just running. The thing turned to see the impending threat but had no time to defend. With all my strength I shoved the beast up and away. It flew through the air like a rag doll before landing on the hood of an old Volvo station wagon with a crash. Suddenly the street was alive with the symphony of car alarms. The protective cover of stealth was shattered. \n\n\"JACK!\" I yelled out once more. I darted through the alley and into the street of a residential neighborhood. It was a street like many others in the poorer areas of the city. Houses were boarded at the windows, probably even well before the epidemic struck. This area was infamous for break-ins and homicides. It's interesting how society had a way of covertly quarantining it's \"tainted\" in a holding cell of poverty rather than treating the problem. As long as you were a safe distance from it, it wasn't a problem.\n\nThere! I caught a glimpse of Jack's gray sweatshirt just as it disappeared into a house across the street. The doorway was a poorly fortified double-set of 2x4's nailed across horizontally. Empty hinges on its interior. I hurriedly maneuvered over the obstacle and made my way inside the home. \"JACK, WHERE ARE YOU!\" It took several moments for my eyes to adjust to the dimness. I was in the living room. There was a couch against the wall, stuffing seeping out of its cushions. Above it was a wall of pictures, family pictures. My eyes were instantly drawn to the framed portrait of a mother and child. The kid was sitting in his mothers lap, two top teeth exposed in a joyous smile. It was Jack. \"mommy...\", I heard from around the corner.\n\n\"JACK!\" I yelled out as I sprinted into the kitchen. Jack was standing at the sliding glass door looking up at his infected mother on the other side. Her ravenous eyes bore down on him and her mouth began to salivate. But all Jack saw was his mother, the woman who cared for him his whole life. The only person he every loved. I picked jack up by the arms and took him into the bathroom, closed the door on him. In the kitchen I found a large utility knife. I took a deep breath and preemptive guilt seeped into my thoughts. A lifeless mother, a motherless child. These are the consequences I'm left to deal with. Sometimes we know the right thing to do, we just don't feel it." ]	1
	[WP] You have tended your forest for as long as you can remember. The plants, the animals, they all look up to you as a guardian. One day, you find tracks you do not recognize. They lead you to an odd sight: a still metal bird, with a single eye of glass. Moving around it were unfamiliar animals.	[ "Tends to the Garden\n\nThe Guardian of Nature,\n\nFollows Quick Footprints.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nA Glass-eyed Crane Stands,\n\nStrangers Circle with Glass Tails,\n\nEyes Watch while Tails Judge.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nA Stone in Cranes Claw \n\nHerald of Change it Calls, \"Flee!\"\n\n\"Stone Falls with Dead Men.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe Hissing Tails Judge\n\nThe Wise Man Says, \"I Am Free,\"\n\n\"I Fall with the Trees.\"" ]	1
	[WP]The year is 2020. The world has been working hard for so many years. All the world leaders meet and decide to give the whole world a YEAR off. Now the whole world is on vacation for one year.	[ "Stuck. Stuck for a year.\n\nThe announcement was made, and the station returned to its regular programming as I clenched the armrest. It took only a few more minutes before the lights winked out.\n\nThe lightbulbs followed, and soon I was enveloped in darkness. On a vacation resort. With no operating flights home.\n\nIn the distant darkness, I could see winking lights fall as pilots started their vacations. I stood up, using whatever battery I had left, and started making my way to the crash sites. Hopefully they weren't at sea. Hopefully it'll occupy me for a year." ]	1
	[WP] You are the last sane person on the planet, the rest of known humanity kill each other on sight and otherwise are rabid. You live on a small island off the coast of scotland and life is peaceful, when one day a small wooden boat washes up.	[ "In that early morning light when the world breaks and all in it is born anew into some future it does not yet know he came down the shale and stood looking at the boat in the lapping waves. That ancient wood and dark with the water. Around it the white foam. He stood a long time looking and once he put his hand on the tree next to him and turned his face away and some unreadable expression there etched and then he turned like an old and frail thing and went back up the hill.\n\nSitting at the table in this cabin built by unknown hands in a time now passed one. Some other age of the earth. This horrible thing forever twisting about its own demise. Waiting until the day that which gave it its very life broke and consumed it. A day he would rush on if he could but his mortal bones held him thus enslaved and he could only wait as all others had and think how he at last yearned for the end and could not find it when so many under this burning sun had lived entire lives in pursuit of some enteral sustenance they also could never find.\n\nPerhaps both broken deep inside by that lack. And in that all the same in the end.\n\nHe took the heavy revolver out of the box and turned the wheel and set it down and looked at it and then turned it to open it. Propping it with his finger lest it fall closed, then tipping the gun so it hung below like some parasitic thing that bent to its own desire that upon which it fed.\n\nTaking the bullets out of the box and setting them on their ends and then counting them. Picking them up one at a time and setting them home and turning the wheel again. Closing it with that weighted sound. The metal forming there into itself.\n\nThe uncleaned barrel with the soot and smoke still dark upon the end and how much darker within.\n\nTaking it in his hand he went out and closed the door. Standing at the top of the rise in the green grass and looking out at that churning dark sea and nothing in it. Any empty realm inhabited perhaps by those sightless beings mired in the depths. Swirling in its own life below that wide sky. Not a sound in it but the endless wind.\n\nHe went slowly back down the trail and then into the loose stone and again reached the edge of the trees. Thin and tormented things in that bitter wind. The gnarled fingers, the bent backs.\n\nOpening the wheel and looking at what he already knew and then closing it again. Putting his thumb for a long moment on the hammer and watching that still boat grounded on this island his own and then pulling the hammer back until it held. The slight twist of the wheel bringing the round up. This thing now of leaping fire and all of life and death in it and barely contained there in the cold metal against his flesh.\n\nThe slightest of bonds.\n\nHe went down slowly toward it, breaking that treeline. Looking each way up and down the shore and not seeing anything and watching always the boat. The gun now in both hands before him.\n\nHis own heartbeat. That rushing blood at his temples. Suddenly the wind and all sound gone from the world and everything else in it and only the boat.\n\nThe hull scratched and beaten. The empty oarlocks. A wash of something down the side that had blackened in the sun and he knew what it was and what color it had been.\n\nFor just a moment in his mind the docks and them coming toward him across the gravel and their eyes, their damned eyes. The rolling fog and the acrid burn. Scarlet and ivy. Feeling this same gun jumping and jumping and then the embrace of the waves.\n\nHe stepped up to the side of the boat with the gun now shaking. Moving slowly over the gunwale. The waterstains on the wood. The end of one broken oar lying in the boat.\n\nAnd there, curled in the bow under a burlap blanket, the small body of a child. Her dark hair hanging and wet in her face. Her skin pale and cold. A skeleton of a thing and how long in this boat. Her bare feet soaking in the water, the skin chapped and red and raw from the battering wind.\n\nHe put one hand on the side of the boat and made some sound even he did not understand but that perhaps held in it everything one could feel in this mad and turning world, and slowly the girl sat up." ]	1
	[WP] You turn off the light only to find it turned back on. You're fairly sure you're alone.	[ "Click.\n\nMy brow furrows in confusion as I pause on the stairs, one foot higher than the other. I feel my lips purse, and turn around in my slippers to the now brightly-lit kitchen. I give the light switch a suspicious glare. The light switch I had just turned off.\n\nThe light switch which was off no longer.\n\nSeeing no answers from my perch in the stairway, I pad softly over to the switch, and flip it off again, leaving the room in darkness, with the dim streetlight filtering in through the window above the sink and the light from the top of the stairs for its only company. I make my way back upstairs.\n\nClick.\n\nOnce again, I turn around, seeing more of the kitchen. Mugs where I left them? Check. No home intruders? Check. No aliens? None visible. I see a dark shape crawl lazily out from under the kitchen table by the light switch, accompanied by an annoyed mrrow.\n\nI sigh tiredly. \"Ugh, Milo, come on dude, I thought you were downstairs.\"\n\nScooping him up in my arms to snuggle against my bathrobe, I say, in a baby-voice, the only correct way to talk while carrying a cat, \"What'chu doin', turning off the lights, huh? I didn't know you could reach that far! Who's a stealthy cat! Yes, you are! You are!\"\n\nHe accepts the attention with disinterest and barely concealed satisfaction, before I set him on the stairs going away from the kitchen, and away from where he can wake me up at 4:30 in the fucking morning (asshole). I shut the door, and continue on my path for bed.\n\nAfter making sure the kitchen lights are firmly off-\n\nClick.\n\n -I turn to look at the upstairs hallway just in time to see a humanoid shape run into my bedroom.\n\nMy heart freezes. I live alone, since the ex moved out, and I haven't had anyone over since new years, so that's out of the question. Slowly, like backing away from a startled animal, I tiptoe down the stairs into the dark kitchen, before crouching behind the counter, pulling out my cell, and dialing 911.\n\n\"Hello, 9-1-1, what is your emergency?\"\n\n\"Um, uh, hello, hello- god, I- there's someone in my house, ok, there's someone in my house.\"\n\n\"Ma'am, I need you to calm down. Can you tell me your address?\"\n\n\"Uh, 4501 Maple Avenue, just the- in the suburbs, about 15 minutes out of the city.\"\n\n\"Alright, Ma'am, I need you to stay calm, we'll have someone over there shortly. Don't worry. My name is Allison, can you tell me your name?\"\n\n\"Claire- Claire, how soon can they get here?\"\n\n\"We'll be right there, Claire, we're on our way. Can you tell me where you are right now, Claire?\"\n\nI glance at my surroundings on the ground behind the counter. \"Um, in my kitchen, I'm behind the counter, I saw them go into my bedroom, I was just getting ready for bed and then I had some trouble with the light switch so I put Milo downstairs and I was just heading back up when I saw it.\"\n\n\"Why did you put your cat downstairs? Was he the one turning on the lights?\"\n\n\"Yes, yes I think so, I-\"\n\nMy brow furrowed, confusion briefly overtaking the panic.\n\n\"Why- How did you know he was a cat?\"\n\nAllison explains calmly. \"Oh, we know lots of things Claire, we just didn't know where you were hiding before now. Thank you for telling us, though. Don't worry, we'll be there shortly. Please stay on the phone, and keep the lights on.\"\n\nMy bedroom door slams open hard enough for plaster to fall from the ceiling, and for Milo to start meowing from downstairs.\n\n\"Please, please if this is some sort of prank, you better not be fucking with me. Who is this? Is this really the police?\"\n\nThere's no answer from the other line, yet I can hear breathing (or laughing?) through it. I risk a glance at the upstairs hallway, only to see that half of it is shrouded in shadow, despite the lights still being on, a humanoid shape writhing in it and twitching unnaturally.\n\nI scramble away from the counter and run through the darkness towards the back door. If I can just get outside, maybe-\n\n\"We need you to turn on the light, Claire. We need you to do that for us.\"\n\nI don't realize I'm still clutching the phone to my ear in a death grip until the icy calm dispatcher voice trickles through it.\n\n\"What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you? What's going on?\"\n\nSilence. A silence filled with a brief static, before \"Turn on the lights, Claire. You need them to see, Claire. Why would you turn them off? That's silly. Just turn them back on, we need to do our job, Claire. Will you let us do our job Claire? Do it Claire. Just turn-\"\n\nI drop the phone like it burns me, and yank harder on the back door after unlocking it. It's unlocked. It's unlocked! Why wasn't it fucking-\n\nClick.\n\nThe kitchen lights turn on.\n\nI can see the thing in the reflection of the window twitching down the stairway. Distantly, I hear a never-ending chorus of \"We're sorry, Claire.\", growing more and more painfully distorted, from my phone on the ground, like a dying music box.\n\nGathering my wits, I sprint past it while I still have the chance to the downstairs door, my slippers sliding on the linoleum, and fling it open and shut in one movement.\n\nSeeing the room safe from any horrors, I grab Milo roughly, and run to the front door.\n\nIt's locked. Of course its fucking locked, I was just going to bed, of fucking course. As I scrambled to turn the deadbolt, I feel an unearthly chill race down my spine. I glance behind me to see the shadow... thing, being, whatever, advancing through the well-lit living room, looking so out of place in my childhood home that for a moment, I wonder if I'm dreaming.\n\nThe moment doesn't last. Thinking fast, I turn to the row of light switches to my left and punch them all down, dropping the room into complete darkness.\n\nClick.\n\n...\n\n...\n\nSilence.\n\n...\n\n...\n\nUndisturbed silence.\n\nI stand frozen, unwilling to move a muscle in the face of what occupies the room with me. Nothing is visible in the all-prevailing shadow, not the outlines of furniture, not whatever had followed me downstairs, not Milo in my arms. I can feel his small body tense, as if he knows the gravity of the situation.\n\nThe temperature in the air around me steadily declines. I'm sure that if I could see, I would see my breath. The temperature plummets further, and I hear what sounds like a hundred snakes crawling over glass, at the end of some vast tunnel.\n\nSuddenly, from the darkness, I feel the ghost of a breath against my ear, and urge myself not to scream. There's a sensation of being looked at, of being exposed, like being naked on-stage, like nothing I had ever felt before, like a thousand eyes seeing me, judging me, devouring me, and looking at my insides.\n\nAll of this, I experience half a second before the wet swipe of a tongue brushes against the back of my neck, and I bite my lip so hard copper explodes in my mouth and drips down my chin.\n\nAnd after that...\n\nSilence.\n\nMore. Silence.\n\nAn eternity or more or no time at all passes. Me, standing there, in the dark, in my living room, wearing my pajamas, hugging my cat, and confronting some strange cosmic horror where not ten minutes before I was gearing up to go to bed and vegetate in front of youtube videos for an hour. I was going to die.\n\nI was going to die, and the last conversation I had with anyone non-paranormal would've been telling my cat how sneaky he was.\n\nEventually, I feel the temperature in the air begin to rise, though it could be my imagination. The crawling on my skin, of being watched abates, but not before a familiar 9-1-1 dispatcher's voice comes in through my ear, sounding resigned.\n\n\"They're no fun when they're not running.\"\n\nClick." ]	1
	[WP] Anything you think becomes a reality. The problem is, anything you think becomes a reality	[ "\"I know, I just can't help thinking about it all! It's consuming me, day and night, night and day! I can't believe I am in this position!!!\"\n\n\"Hmm...well, perhaps we can try to find ways for you to come to the realization that your thoughts are just a complete fantasy. I mean, the last time ANYONE in the United States was hit by a meteor, much less as they were having sex with some other guy, is, litererally, NEVER! Then, for you to actually WIN the largest LOTTERY on the same day???!! Ok, let's just focus on the fact that you believe that your wife is cheating. We can deal with the lottery, later...\"" ]	1
	[WP]Write a story of any kind set in a universe where Humans, Earth and our entire solar system never existed.	[ "Divie was the most beautiful of the celestial beings I had ever met, sending a warmth throughout me, making me feel as though I was more. We would soar among the depths of the gorgeous darkness that surrounds us, seeing the eerie yet eye-catching sights illuminated as we passed. We had seen the spark that could house another universe if it so chose, we viewed the majesty of the lights that forever flow around this area, and we viewed the location where the skies appear, ever so blue, with a peaceful white landscape, pillowy in appearance; the songs that emanated from there were enough to almost convince us to stay, had it not been for the Being that dwells there.\n\nThis trip, however, is different. My time will soon come and I will be with her no longer, for I am to serve a greater purpose.\n\n\"Cayo, I wish for this moment to last forever. I wish for you to not leave.\" Divie's voice, as soft and pleasant as ever, wavered in its melancholy. \n\n\"Me too, my dear. I would spend several eternities in this loneliness with you if I could. But we know it was not meant to be. Mayhap someday we would find ourselves in each other's embrace. But for now, let's just enjoy this moment, and we shall look back on these memories as if they were forever.\"\n\nI gaze upon her, and I see she is still burning with questions, yet she humours my demand. I hold her close, as we pass by the Being's abode, with the feeling of being watched, though not in a menacing way. It was as though He knows the circumstances.\n\nWe pass by the lights that flow through, and we stop to witness it. So beautiful, but the real beauty in our many trips here is her, enamored by the sights before her. Divie looks so lost here in the best ways, and I love her forevermore for it. Knowing this is my last visit with her, something inside me aches, a sensation I never thought I would feel. We pass by our many other frequent visits, and we continue to enjoy ourselves until we meet our final destination.\n\nApproaching the lonely little spark we've come to know and love, we see it fizzle and crackle; something was about to happen to this spark, as it has grown big and wide. This is where I must leave Divie. It is so difficult now looking upon her expression, as she can also see in mine. \n\n\"Know this, my love. I burn for you, but this burns fiercer than any love could. It could engulf everything, and it is why I must be introduced to it.\"\n\n\"Why?\" replied Divie, her innocence as evident as ever.\n\n\"The beings that will come to exist here will be so beautiful as this spark igniting before us, and their ambitions will glow just as fiercely. I must be brought in here to quell their progress. They will break through eventually and take the cosmos and the multiverse with them in their boundless conquests. I must reside here until they are about to break out, and it is then when you and Him must come here, when you both are strong enough.\"\n\nWe had our last embrace, and this was the last we would see each other. Of course, as He made his prescence known in this new universe, these creatures here moved through both like a beautiful body of water and like a plague, making all beautiful and destroyed at the same time. Though they worshipped him, they never followed whatever word He wanted them to follow. That was where I would come in, I would stop their progress, an act I wish never to repeat. Think of all those who had to suffer in the meantime. Should I meet Divie again, she will see how I carry this with me for as long as I exist.\n\nMy only moments of serenity and hope would occur during these times when the lights would come past this universe as they always did, and I would feel her close in these moments, though she could never come here with me, I could sense her as if she was. It wasn't until the time the light stopped appearing when I abandoned all happiness, until I felt her presence, closer than ever, since the moment we last met. And with her, was the Being, and it was time for reckoning as the parasites that lived here are vanquished, and under His jurisdiction.\n\nNow is the time we are allowed in His domain, and we will live there for all eternity, just as we always dreamed.", "Hi, you're on a rock, floating in space. Pretty cool, huh? Some of it's water. Fuck it, actually, most of it's water. I can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you.\n\nH O W D I D T H I S H A P P E N ?\n\nA long time ago... actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere, you don't need a \"where\". You don't even need a \"when\". That's how \"every\" it gets.\n\n...\n\nForget this, I wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. I want things to change, I want to invent time and space, and I know it's possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. I just don't know when to start... and that's exactly where it started.\n\n⏪\n\nWoah, I paused it. I think there's a universe now. What's it made of?\n\nQ U A R K S A N D S T U F F\n\nAh, that's a thing, in a place! Don't like it? Try a new place, at a different time. Try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier... but it's not empty yet. It's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.\n\n<about no seconds later>\n\nGreat news! The quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a \"proton\" or a \"neutron\", and there's something else flying around that wants to join in, but can't cause it's still too\n\nH O T\n\n<about ten minutes later>\n\nGreat news! The protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! Some of them even doubled up.\n\n<about 380,000 years later>\n\nGreat news! The electrons have now joined in.\n\nCongratulations, THE WORLD IS NOW a bunch of gas in space... but it's getting closer together...\n\n<10 million years later>\n\n...and it's getting closer together...\n\n<500 million years later>\n\n...and it's getting closer toget-\n\nBOOM\n\nI T ' S A S T A R\n\nNew shit just got made! Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion and make some brand new way crazier shit.\n\nS P A C E D U S T\n\n...which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into\n\nE V E N C R A Z I E R S P A C E D U S T\n\nSo now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. Like this ball of flaming rock, for example...\n\n<meteor hits Terra>\n\nHoly shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks, and it kind of... made a mess, which is\n\nN O W T H E M O O N\n\nWeather update! It's raining rocks from outer space. Weather update! Those rocks might have had water inside of them and now there's hot steam in the sky. Weather update! Cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava. Weather update! ...it's raining. Severe flooding alert! The entire world is now an ocean. Volcano alert!\n\nT H A T 'S L A N D !\n\nthere's life in the ocean.\n\nWhat?\n\nS O M E T H I N G ' S A L I V E I N T H E O C E A N\n\nOh, cool! Like, a plant or an animal? No, a microscopic speck! It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever...\n\n<microscopic speck reproduces asexually>\n\nOh yeah, and it can do that.\n\n<microscopic specks reproduce asexually three more times>\n\nIt has secret instructions written inside itself, telling it how to build another one of itself. So, that's pretty nifty, I would say. Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?\n\nN O W Y O U C A N E A T S U N L I G H T\n\n\"Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.\"\n\nT A S T E T H E S U N\n\nSide effect: Now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then Terra might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.\n\nIt's a sponge, it's a plant, it's a worm, and some other types of weird, stranger water bugs and strange fish.\n\nI T ' S T H E C A M B R I A N E X P L O S I O N\n\nWow, that's animals and stuff, but we're still in the ocean. \"Hey, can we go on land?\"\n\nN O\n\n\"Why?\"\n\nT H E S U N I S A D E A D L Y L A Z E R\n\n\"Oh, okay.\"\n\n<ozone layer forms>\n\nN O T A N Y M O R E T H E R E ' S A B L A N K E T\n\nNow the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land! \"Nope, can't walk yet, and there's no food yet, so I don't care.\"\n\n<100 million years later>\n\nOkay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here? \"Maybe,\" said some bugs, and fish.\n\n\"Eh.\"\n\n\"Eh.\"\n\n\"Eh.\"\n\n<five million years later>\n\n\"Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to\n\nH A V E B A B I E S\n\nIdea: Learn to use an egg. \"I was already doing that!\" Use a stronger egg, put water in it, have a baby on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg. \"Works for me.\"\n\nB Y E B Y E O C E A N\n\n<50 million years later>\n\nAnd now everything's huge, including bugs. Wanna see a map of the land? Sure.\n\n<Permian extinction>\n\nOh, fuck, now everything's dead. Just kidding, here are the survivors. Keep your eye on this one, because it's about to become...\n\n<75 million years later>\n\n...the dinosaurs. Here's another map of the land. Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about it, does that all the time. Here comes a meteor.\n\n<boom>\n\nA N D T H E D I N O S A U R S A R E G O N E\n\nIt's mammal time, here come the mammals. Look at those breasts. Now they're gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff and walk. No, like, walk like that, and grab stuff at the same time, and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.\n\n\"Ouch.\"\n\nAnd set things on fire.\n\n\"Yeouch.\"\n\nAnd make crazy sounds with their voice.\n\n\"Gneurshk.\"\n\nWhich can mean different things.\n\nT H A T ' S A H U M A N P E R S O N\n\nAnd now they're everywhere...almost.\n\nI C E A G E\n\nWhat? You can walk over here? Cool!\n\nN O T A N Y M O R E\n\nWell, I guess we're stuck here. Let's review: There's Grogs on the planet, and they're chasing their food. \"Fuck it, time to plant some grass. Look at this, I get to control the food now. Now, everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. Let's all build houses, except mine is bigger because I own the food.\" This is great! I wonder if anyone else is doing this?\n\nTired of using rocks for everything? Use metal! It's underground. Better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.\n\nG U E S S W H A T H A P P E N S N E X T ?\n\nMore food, and more Grogs who came to buy the food. Now you need Grogs to help make the food and keep track of the sales, and now you need house for Grogs to live in and Grogs to make the houses and now there's more Grogs to make more things for more Grogs and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.\n\nS O C I E T Y\n\nComing soon to a dank river valley near you! Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.\n\nWhy is all my metal so lame and lumpy? Tired of using lame, sad metal? Introducing:\n\nB R O N Z E\n\nMade from special ingredient: Tin, from the far lands of Tin Land. I don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it. Also, guess what?\n\nI G Y P T\n\nMeanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. Now we're getting somewhere. Also...\n\nT H I N A\n\nAnd did I mention...\n\nI R R U S R I V E R V A L L E Y C I V I L I Z A T I O N\n\n<Society count: 5 ... Mesopotaya, Igypt, Thina, Irrus Valley Civilization, Northern Chico>\n\nN O R T H E R N C H I C O\n\nThe Middle East is getting more complicated. Maybe because it's in the middle of the East. Knock knock, er, clop clop, it's the Grogs with the... horses, and they made an empire, and then everyone else copied their horses.\n\nG R I I K S\n\nAh, look, it must be the Griiks... er, a beta version of the Griiks. Let's check in with the Irrus River Valley Civilization... they're gone. Guess who's not gone?\n\nT H I N A\n\nN E W A R R I V A L S I N O N D I A M A Y B E I T W A S T H O S E H O R S E G R O R G S I W A S T A L K I N G A B O U T O R T H E I R C O U S I N S O R S O M E T H I N G A N D T H E Y W R O T E S O M E H Y M N S A N D M A N T R A S A N D S T U F F\n\nYou could make a religion out of this.\n\nThere's the Bronze Age collapse.\n\nN O W T H E P O E N I C I A N S C A N G E T D O W N T O B U S I N E S S\n\nAlso, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find? Thanks. Look who came back to Idael: It's the twelve tribes of Idael.\n\nA N D T H E Y B E L I E V E I N G O D\n\nJust one, though. He's got, like, a ten step program.\n\nHere's some huge heads, must be the Ilmecs. The Phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. Here comes the Oyyrian Empire. Never mind, it's the Babylin- Mediao-\n\nI T ' S T H E P E G S I A N E M P I R E\n\nWow, that's big.\n\n<ding>\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] A story about anything, but it has no names, no narrator, and you can only identify the "characters" with different fonts	[ "Are you here?\n\nYes.\n\nAre you ready to fight?\n\nYes.\n\nAre you ready to risk your life?\n\nyeh.\n\nAre you ready to jumpout of an exploding car?\n\nAlways.\n\nWhat do you eat with your toast?\n\nBread.\n\nWhat do you eat with your bread?\n\nOnions.\n\nWhat do you eat with your brain\n\nOnions with extra bread.\n\nCan you speak Japanese?\n\n むり, ダメ \n\nWhy are we having this conversation?\n\nわからない\n\nCan you please speak English?\n\nNah.\n\nWhy?\n\nI ate fish today.\n\nWith what?\n\nBRAIN, BREAD AND UNIONS.\n\nInteresting. One question\n\nyeh.\n\nWhy is the world so stupid\n\n\"What do you eat with your brain?\"\n\nAh, thanks\n\nnp.\n\nI guess you are ready to jump out of a car\n\nnah\n\nWhy?\n\nBecause my brain got eaten by zombie union.\n\nCool.", "I'm hungry. \n\nYou're always hungry. Turn left up here. \n\nReckon we can stop for a burger? \n\nWith a body in the car? Are you an idiot? \n\nNo, I'm hungry. And it's not like he's going to mind, he's dead. \n\nI fucking mind! What kind of asswipes are we gonna look like if we get caught in a Mickey D's parking lot because your fat ass couldn't wait thirty minutes. \n\n^(Ugh.) \n\nHey, what was that? \n\nMe schooling your dumb ass on our professional responsibilities. Two miles this way. \n\nCool it with the insults. I think I just heard something. \n\n^(what the fuck...) \n\nSee, there it was again! \n\nI didn't hear anything. You're just changing the subject. \n\nI'm not joking. You made certain you killed the guy, right? \n\nAre you seriously asking me that right now? \n\nCould you just - \n\nAre you seriously asking me - ME - if I killed him? \n\nLook, I thought I heard something. \n\nSo you asked me - Fucking, me - If I'm sure I killed the guy. Like I'm some fucking - some fucking amateur! \n\nAlright, alright. I'm sorry. \n\nDamn right you're sorry. \n\nBut, just so I'm clear, you definitely killed him? \n\nOh my - Unless he's fucking bulletproof, I definitely killed him. \n\n^(Holy crap my he)AD HURTS! LET ME OUT OF HERE! \n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWell, I guess he's bulletproof, then. \n\nYou're kidding me. \n\nLET ME OUT. \n\nYou're fucking kidding me. \n\nYou sure you didn't put blanks in your gun? \n\nDo you want to fucking find out? \n\nNow that's just uncalled for. \n\nLET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT. \n\nNow what do we do? \n\nWe could just fucking off ourselves. \n\nBe serious. \n\nMay as well, how bad this has gone. Why not make local news? \n\nNot this crap again. You know what your problem is? \n\nThat we've got a bulletproof man in the trunk of our car? \n\nMY HEAD HURTS. \n\nIt's that you're a pessimist. \n\nNow you really are kidding me. \n\nNo, I'm serious. \n\nI hit him in the head. Twice. \n\nLET ME OUT. \n\nSHUTUP! Look, this is clearly getting to you. Why don't we pull over, you can unload a clip into him, and then we can go get a burger. You need some meat on your bones. \n\nAlright, look - \n\nNo, listen - \n\nNo, look ahead, you idiot. Cops! \n\nHELP HELP HELP HELP HELP. \n\nDon't panic, we'll be fine. \n\nI'm not panicking. \n\nOh, sorry. You two sound kind of similar. \n\nNow who's being insulting? I'm surprised you can even hear him over those sirens. \n\nOH GOD PLEASE HELP ME. \n\nHe's pretty loud. You want to reload, make sure you haven't got blanks? \n\nNo. \n\nYou sure? \n\nYes. \n\nWell, I sure hope you're right. \n\nHey, trunk guy. There's a cop walking up. You might be saved! Make some noise! \n\nLET ME OUT! \n\n*Sir I need you to step out of the vehicle with your hands* *~~uuuu~~\n\nSee? Not blanks.* \n\nWell, now we've got about three minutes before we've got a police pursuit. \n\nThat's what you're focusing on? That guy in our trunk might actually be bulletproof. \n\nTHEN WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH? \n\nWe should check, while we're pulled over. \n\nOkay, you open up, I'll shoot. \n\nOW. OW. OW. PLEASE STOP SHOOTING ME. \n\nWow. \n\nYeah. \n\nThose sirens are getting close. \n\nYeah. \n\nLotta weaponry on those cops. \n\nYeah. \n\nAnd all we've got is this bulletproof guy. \n\nYeah. \n\nDo we have any rope? \n\nYou know, I think we just might. \n\nPLEASE NO. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;", "NO, WE CANNOT ENACT THAT\n\nNow, why not, the top wigs of every country was looking forward to it, and you had to ruin the party?\n\nn o h e h a s a p o i n t . i t w o u l d t a k e t o o m u c h r e s o u r c e s a n d a f f e c t t h e m a s s a e r v a l e n c e p l a n .\n\nYou two are never fun.\n\nFUN WERE NOT DESIGNATED IN THE PARAMETERS OF OPERATION.\n\nN0w, wh4t d1d th3 b055 54y? 4ny7h1ng 5p1c1f1c? 15 7h15 m4nd470ry?\n\nHe threw it down and went to bed, that's my guess. Found this document on the desk when I got here.\n\n{ Let's vote.} {For or against.} {Simple as that.}\n\nFor.\n\nAGAINST\n\na g a i n s t.\n\n{I vote for the proposal.}\n\n<return true;>\n\n4g41n57.\n\n是\n\n(((THAT SETTLES IT. PROJECT MK-ULTRA WILL BEGIN WITHIN TWO MONTHS, ALL AGENTS, PREPARE STAGING AREAS.)))\n\nNow this is going to be fun." ]	3
	[WP] When you die, Death allows you to play a game for your life. You choose Monopoly.	[ "If frustration looked like anything on a skinless skull it looked like the face Death made now. \n\n\"Monopoly?\" the hollow voice repeated my statement.\n\n\"Yes, monopoly. You have heard of it haven't you?\"\n\nA groan left the figure then he turned around holding up one boney finger.\n\n\"I'll check if I have it.\"\n\n\"You said any game.\"\n\n\"Might've thrown that one out.\"\n\nBetween two blinks of an eye the figure had disappeared leaving me in the void. Then he returned holding a weathered box saying \"Monopoly: My Little Pony Edition\".\n\n\"Will this do?\" he asked.\n\n\"Can I say no?\"\n\n\"Of course.\"\n\n\"Can I say no and keep on living?\"\n\n\"Ah... No.\"\n\n\"Then it will do.\"\n\nA table appeared between us and two chairs on either side.\n\n\"Right,\" Death asked. \"I believe I shall be bank.\"\n\n\"Why's that?\" I asked. \"Just because you are an all-powerful being making decisions on who is allowed to live and who isn't, doesn't mean you can just go and make any decision what-so-ever.\"\n\nDeath groaned.\n\n\"You sound like my brother,\" he said. \"Fine, let's roll for it.\"\n\nHe lifted the box and took out a bright pink dice. \"Highest number wins.\"\n\n\"You have a brother?\" I asked.\n\n\"I have three. Famine always wants to be the bank, but then he cheats. War's even worse. Whenever he loses he just flips the table.\"\n\n\"What about Pestilence? He doesn't play?\"\n\n\"No,\" Death said. \"He's sick of it.\"\n\nDeath chuckled after that. \"Sorry... Gallow's humor.\" \n\nHe rolled the die and it landed on a six.\n\n\"Look at that. I'm always lucky with these kinds of games.\" Death explained.\n\n\"Should I even roll then?\"I asked. \"Not really fair this whole thing is it? With you rolling being lucky all the time.\"\n\nI picked up the dice and rolled. \"There we go... ,\" It landed on a six again. \n\nDeath groaned. \"Chess is so much easier,\" he said. \"I always start.\"\n\n\"Really, I thought you'd be more the black kind of person.\"\n\n\"Please. Read your bible. Pale horse! White's the new black.\" He rolled the dice again. Stubbornly it landed on six once more.\n\n\"Hey guys,\" a voice said behind us.\n\nStrolling up was a handsome man with long blond hair and gentle blue eyes, behind him two skeletal black wings sprouted from his shoulders. Instead of feet, I noticed, he had hooves. \n\n\"I see you are playing my favourite game. Can I join?\"\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] As a Master Swordsman you devoted yourself ONLY to your craft living a life of solitude devoid of friends, family, & romance save your eager apprentice. Now you must dissuade that apprentice from following your lonely path in favor of the attractive weapons shop owner so obviously into them.	[ "Listen to me. I am old. I am not happy. I, was like you once. Young and full of promise. I decided, instead of settling down with someone, I would just use my blade. Instead of friends, my blade. Instead of pets, my blade. It gets really fucking lonely after a while. You can’t fuck a blade. You can’t go out for drinks with a blade. You can’t pet a blade.\n\nSo, go out and fuck that shop keeper. It won’t harm your skills, and you’ll not end up like me, an old mentor figure who’s bound to get killed in a bit." ]	1
	[WP] Life is a game that is surprisingly easy to level up. Only catch is, it’s diametrically opposite in difficulty. No one has been able to break the level one barrier, that is until you	[ "June 1st, 2019\n\n\n\n\nI’ve decided to start a journal to keep record of my findings so I’ll start with what I know. 1st getting to level 2 takes 1 point of experience 2nd everything we do gives experience (walking .00000000001 per step, cooking between .000000001 and .00000001, skydiving .000001, killing .00001, climbing Mt. Everest .001.) 3rd repeated actions lose value 4th no one on record has made it to lvl 2. I intend to make it to level 2.\n\n\n\n\n\nJune 19th, 2019 \n\n\n\n\nRight now I sit at .00287429194 the highest known experience is an 89 year old man in Africa with .19382 I must find a way to meet with him. \n\n\n\n\n\nAugust 1st, 2019\n\n\n\n\nI’m in Kenya now I’ve found the location of the man I’m set to meet with him today. The journey has been harsh and I’ve gained quite a bit of experience I’m at .003 \n\nAugust 2nd, 2019\n\n\n\n\nMy whole team is dead we met with the man he had my team killed yet spared me. Said “he sees the eyes within me” I fear for my life and hope at least my notes can help someone.\n\n\n\n\nAugust 5th, 2019\n\n\n\n\nHe said he’s going to teach me his methods I don’t think he means me any harm hopefully my comrades lives won’t have been lost for nothing. \n\n\n\nAugust 9th, 2019\n\n\n\nHe made me drink some strange potion he called it seal juice I think and said it will open me up to receive life I’m not sure exactly what he means but it doesn’t seem like poison. \n\n\n\nAugust 12th, 2019\n\n\n\nI’ve shown incredible growth since drinking the potion I’m gaining exp at a rate 10 times what I was before. \n\nSeptember 21st, 2019\n\n\nHe said I’m ready to receive life I’m not sure what he means but I think he’s going to release me I’ll add to this after whatever he has planned happens\n\n\n\n\nHe’s dead he did something to me before he died I don’t know what but there was a bright light and he’s gone.\n\n\n\n\nSeptember 22nd, 2019\n\n\n\n\nThis is fantastic Im not sure exactly how it happened but I think the man transferred his experience to me and the potion multiplied it I’m now the first person to get to level two. The only problem is it was announced to the world followed by one word. Prepare.", "\"So, how much EXP did you earn?\" \n\nThe question is not directed at me, but I listen anyway. Just a few high schoolers chatting.\n\n\"One whole point.\" The second teen brags.\n\n\"Nice!\"\n\nThey clasp hands and give some kind of fancy handshake. I actually nod respectfully. A point a day is good. I usually get half a point on average. Most don't even get that much.\n\nWith a silent command, I bring up my status window. Still level one, just like everyone else in the world. I actually pride myself for having 41% progress. It usually takes 60 or more years to get that much, and I did it in less than 30. \n\nThe bus stops. This is mine, and I leave. The walk the rest of the way home is uneventful. But, as I approach the building, something catches my eye. A small object in the well lit alley next to the building. It shines slightly, telling me it's an important item. \n\nIt's a simple metal armband without decoration. Unfortunately, my identification skills are sub par, so all I can do is put it on and hope for the best.\n\nThe moment I do, a message window pops up and my eyes widen. The window is a common enough occurrence, but what the window says is unbelievable.\n\nYou have found one (1) band of stored experience. This band will drain half of your earned experience points. It will then earn 5% interest on the stored points every month. You may withdraw the points at any time. This band currently has 95 stored points.\n\nI immediately open my item window. It takes 100 points to get to level two, and I have 41. I click on the band's icon and see the drain option. As soon as I claim the points, I see it. A new window. One that nobody has ever seen.\n\nLevel up! You have earned five (5) stat points, and three (3) skill points. New skills have become available. Earn three (3) more levels to unlock the magic system! Good luck!\n\nA smile slowly crawled onto my face. This was going to be fun." ]	2
	[WP] One day, the worlds problems end. World Peace comes around almost overnight, the oil crisis ends as the planet gears towards green energy. Clearly, something is very wrong.	[ "I had a go at it myself :) \n\nChapter I \n\n“Hi...” \n\nI stood, mouth agape, for a full ten seconds before rubbing my eyes and blinking furiously, determined to prove that my eyes were lying to me. \n\n“Now, don’t panic, and try to stay calm...” This impossible man said in my voice, his hands up in the air, palms facing me. He begins to rise from my favorite armchair. \n\nI freeze evermore, unable to do anything but feel rising dread in my throat like warm bile. I felt my bottom lip quivering, my eyebrow twitching. \n\n“...but I need your help. Or rather, we need your help. And by we, I mean me and you. Or, me and me... Or you and you! It’s all a bit fucked at the moment but...” \n\nI gasped and spluttered, deeply inhaling, ready for war. \n\nThe other me dived up, ready for this sort of reaction, and clasped a clammy hand to my mouth. As he drew closer, I noticed that there was no odor to him. No friction in the interaction. His eyes locked with mine and I felt neutral. I felt like I had my own hand on my god damned mouth. I could not compute. This guy was very much me, through and through. I was being confronted by myself. Oh, of course. That’s completely fine and not unexpected or impossible at all. My tiny brain crumbled under the weight of this revelation, my eyes rolled and knees collapsed under me as I fell skyward, every fiber of my being flipping out at this absolute reality-shattering turn of events. \n\nI awoke in a sunbeam, warm in bed. I chewed my mouth thickly and breathed in the scent of fresh linen. The grandfather clock ticked away in the hallway, providing metronomic comfort. I held my eyes shut as I remembered what just happened. Relief washed over me like the embrace from a familiar face. It was just a dream. Thank god! I slowly opened one eye, still uncertain of myself, and found that I was indeed in my own home, in my own bed, staring out of the window as usual. I opened both eyes and grinned to myself. I had acted like a complete wuss, passing out because I met myself. Ha! I savored the moment for a few minutes before reaching to throw the duvet off myself when I suddenly became aware that someone else was using it. Panic gripped me and I froze. \n\n“Don’t scream!” \n\nI recoiled in horror, nearly falling off the foot of the bed. \n\n“Look, this is happening. This is happening!” \n\nHis hand flew to my mouth once more. I tried to pry off his fingers but he clasped tighter, this time with his other hand around the back of my head. \n\n“... so you need to adjust, and acclimatize” he muttered soothingly, “because if you don’t, you’re just gonna wake up in five minutes again and...” \n\nI struggled against his grip, noting once again how little of an identifying scent he had, and felt my vision fading once more. \n\n“... no no no! Stay with me! God you’re soft...” \n\nHis hand came away from my mouth with a puckering kiss and he slapped me on the cheek, hard. \n\n“Look. I’m going to go and put some coffee on and leave you to gather your thoughts, because clearly you’re having a bit of an issue accepting this. But I’m here. And yes, I’m you. But clearly not you you.” He said, nose to nose. “I’ll be back with coffee. Once I let you go. I’m gonna let you go. Okay? No screaming...” \n\nHis clammy hands released my skull, and I felt my head sag slightly under the sheer weight of this new information. I felt weak, shaky, almost drugged. My head swam and I furiously shook it like a recently submerged dog. The other me dived off the bed and headed to the doorway. He stopped and turned back to me. \n\nHe looked at me warmly, fondly, like a grandparent surveying his favorite grandchild. I blanched. \n\n“Coffee!” He exclaimed, and disappeared from view. \n\nI sat in my bed, stunned. I said nothing, did nothing. Just prayed that he would never return and I’d get to just nod off and wake up in the morning, ready for another day at the office. The gravity of the situation hit hard, and panic, albeit controlled, coursed through my being. This just can’t be real, I must’ve been spiked! There something in the water! I knew it, yes that must be it. For these brief moments, rapid rational reasoning became my mantra. I repeated in my head that there is just no way that this can be happening, taking no comfort in the words despite my best attempts. My mouth became wet with saliva. I gulped and swallowed, trying my best not to heave. \n\nI wearily swung my legs out from the bed and gingerly placed my feet on the floor. The room swam before me as I leaned forward to try to stand. My head, regaining some functionality, buzzed with questions and ideas, impossibilities and paradoxes. Even if this were possible, why the hell was it happening to me? I was a grey soul wandering an effervescent earth, no goal in mind, no drive for better. I liked it that way. I found solace in having no expectations of myself. Hell, I’d spent the entire day hunched at a paper shredder and a waste paper bin, shredding old but important looking documents whilst the radio dulled the silence, and that was just fine by me. My train of comforting thought was derailed by the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs. I steeled myself once more, gasping deep breaths, trying my best to get ready to look at him again. He entered the room carrying two cups of steaming black coffee, and immediately my gaze fell away from him. \n\nHe stopped in the doorway briefly, gauging my temperament. After an accurate assessment, he slowly set the hot cup down by the bed. “You still like it sweet? I mean, I do, so I assumed you did”. He muttered. He seemed to be more talking to himself than me. \n\nMy voice broke as I attempted to utter my first coherent words of the evening. I spluttered and coughed. I picked up the coffee and swallowed a hot sip before trying again. The brown liquid gave life to my insanely dry lips. \n\n“So... you are me?” I muttered, still avoiding eye contact. \n\n“He speaks!” The other me yelled. He kicked off his trainers and turned sat on the bed beside me. I hated shoes on the bed, and it seems he did too. For the first time since waking, I mustered up the courage and forced myself to lock eyes with him. I considered his features, his persona, how he held himself, his hands, feet, chest. Everything. The result was startling. This version of me was physically identical, right down to the thickness of moustache. I could’ve been looking into a mirror for Christ’s sake. He wore clothes I liked, too. A loose-fitting black hoody, tight jeans and bamboo ankle socks. The wristwatch was a little tacky; it extended up his forearm a bit too far, which led me to believe that maybe it wasn’t just a wristwatch. Maybe one of those PDA-type things. He also wore six rings on identical fingers, and there was a blue dotted light winking from behind his ear. Maybe some form of Bluetooth headset? It all seemed so surreal, watching this man attempt to be me. \n\n“Yes” He said, still getting himself comfortable. “I am you, but not you you. Our experiment failed. Or rather, gave us an unexpected result. Rather than neutralizing negative energies, we banished them to another realm. I’m not sure if they knew that would happen, but it did. We hit the switch and boom. It just happened. Well, not at first. Initially, we thought there was a fault.” \n\nHe reached in to his pocket and withdrew a battered packet of West Virginia cigarettes. He breathed a deep sigh. After tapping taping the butt on the carton, he raised the stubby cotton filter to his mouth. \n\n“We tested the code, checked the machines, everything.” He said, muffled. “It just seemed that when executed, the program had no effect. No immediate effect anyway”. He paused and stared at the Zippo now in his hand. He pressed on, eyes suddenly deadpan and glossy. \n\n“Over the course of around an hour, around eighty percent of the population died. Those with weak hearts, the elderly, the poor and malnourished, those with degenerative flaws in their DNA, hell, even plain unlucky people. They just dropped dead where they stood.” He withdrew a bronze Zippo and lit his cigarette. “Like their risk of dying factor just doubled.” He holds the cigarette to his lips and pauses before that first pull. “Of course, a lot of healthy people died too. Death didn’t care.” \n\nThe man looked gaunt, lifeless and pale. His ears had gone red and I just knew his saliva glands were doing overtime. He pressed on, probably to stop any chance of vomiting. \n\n“Wildfires erupted worldwide in high risk areas, the ozone layer depleted to near catastrophic levels almost instantly. The UK was underwater in about nine hours. Parts of Africa and most of the Australian outback was burned alive in around twelve. You could feel the skin bubble on your face, apparently.” \n\nI sat swaying, my head frazzled with the information being presented to me. Everyone is dead?! He pressed on. \n\n“We fucked up. Colossally. What happened, shouldn’t've. We broke off negativity and banished it to its own realm. We didn’t neutralize it at all. They lied to us.” He said, bitterly. “So I’m here to work with you to make it right again. I have a plan, but I need your co-operation on this side...” \n\nFor the first time, he looked back at me and stopped. \n\n“...Right?” He stared at me, eyebrows raised hopefully, cigarette quivering between his lips. I swallowed, my head swimming with this new information. \n\n“Right...” I swallowed. “The only problem is, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” ", "\"I'm not saying it's a bad thing,\" I told the man on the bus. \"Just... Unsettling, you know?\"\n\n\"You college kids are all the same. Never satisfied. They could start handing out free ice cream that would make you crap carbon-sequestration machines and you'd find a way to make it a problem.\" \n\nI was quiet for a stop, and then he got off. \n\nMaybe he was right. Maybe I was asking too many questions. I got off at my stop and began a quiet walk down the street to my place. When I got home, an answer presented itself. \n\n\"Hi there,\" a tall, white woman said, smiling from beside my kitchen counter. \"Can we talk?\" \n\n\"Um. Hello? You're in my home.\" \n\n\"Yes, I hope you don't mind. I wanted somewhere private.\" \n\n\"Um...\" \n\n\"See, I've noticed you're immune. It happens, no need to worry, but that means you need to be vetted.\" \n\n\"I feel like you haven't... Um... What?\" \n\n\"The past few days, you've made note of the unusual nature of the current political climate.\" \n\n\"Look, I'm just saying, Donald Trump just passed a law subsidizing carbon sequestration technology and walkability infrastructure on a car sales and fossil fuel tax. That's weird.\" \n\n\"Yes, that's perfectly reasonable to feel.\" \n\n\"Plus, like, police brutality suddenly stopped for no reason. And crime also fell. Also, ISIS just like... Scattered. Disbanded. No statement, no anything. And the whole thing in Yemen just kind of stopped. And--\" \n\n\"I understand that you are up to date on recent events, child,\" she said, a little annoyed. \n\n\"Putin decided to hold new elections and have the UN present to count the votes just out of nowhere! And like fifty senators and congressmen resigned to be with their families, and--\" \n\n\"Enough!\" \n\nSuddenly, her eyes were red and her hair stood on end for a moment. I stopped talking. \n\n\"As I was saying, you noticed the aberrations.\" \n\nI nodded. \n\n\"That makes you one of the few people in the planet who don't need the brainwashing to... Behave.\" \n\n\"Wait what?\" \n\nShe rolled her eyes. \"We were passing by the quadrant. All that death, and fighting, it's... Distasteful. So we... Tuned you, a little. Nanomachines modifying preferences. By this time next month, all of the human population should have some in their system, and all of them should wish good upon their fellows and ill upon none.\"\n\n\"...That's super creepy.\" \n\n\"It is. That is why you need to come with us.\" \n\n\"Wait, what?\" \n\n\"We need to vet you, as I said.\" \n\n\"Do I have a choice in this...?\" I asked, taking a step back. \n\n\"No,\" she said, and my house vanished from sight. \n\nSuddenly, I was in a space ship. ", "I woke up, bleary eyed, to the sound of my alarm. And like a robot, punched the snooze button, to sleep 5 more minutes. But something wasn’t right. My phone had hundreds of unread messages. There were notifications from friends, families, and the news applications. I woke up, alert, as to what in the world was going on. What in the blazes had happened while I was sleeping?\n\nI quickly flicked through the messages and became even more confused. Apparently, all of the world leaders had convened overnight and decided to end their rivalries. Canada and Turkey had settled their differences with Saudi Arabia. USA withdrew all of its troops from all of the countries around the world. Africa’s warlords ceased their pillaging. You get the idea. No more fighting. World peace, at last. \n\nThis felt wrong. \n\nThey had also agreed to suspend all their activities of oil drilling, coal mining, anything that would hurt the Earth in the long term. \nI was baffled. How could this have happened? This seemed like a trap. And just then, a national broadcast appeared on the TV. It was from WHO (World Health Organization). They had an announcement to make.\n\n“Greetings Everyone,\nNo doubt, all of you can see the changes that are being made in the world right now. All for the better, I hope. I, the director of WHO, have a confession to make. It was my organization that brought these changes to the world. We have developed a radio signal, that is able to detect and affect a few sensitive parts of the brain. We have been perfecting this wave for a long time now and we thought that it was finally time to use it for the betterment of the world. Don’t worry though, we don’t have any plans for world domination, yet, hahahha. We hope we can preserve our planet and it’s people with this technology. Now you guys might be asking, Can they control anyone in the world? We wish, uh, I mean, no. Just a little joke. Our device doesn’t do that. It only activates a person’s dormant abilities. Specifically, one ability. The ability to feel…..empathy.” \n" ]	3
	[WP] You're a high level adventurer trying to see a newcomer through to the end of the dungeon.	[ "The air was laden with the metallic stench of hewn flesh. Many heaps of now-dead carcases lay around us - though admittedly, I have become accustomed to such scenery. The same cannot be said of my companion, who now lays slouched against a stone pillar on the far side of this dimly torch-lit hall. Combat is not new to either of us, though clearly it is more new for Jonathan.\n\n“Jon! Are you okay?” I yelled.\n\nHe did not move or speak; he only shook his head from side to side. I walk over to him. On first assessment, he suffered from a large laceration across his face as well as a broken leg - both compounded by exhaustion. I knelt at his side, lay my gauntlet on his chest, and offered a prayer to our Lord. \n\nAnd, Lo! See our Lord’s reply! Jonathan began to glow brightly; the gash on his face began to heal away; his legs began to move once more; and his spirit was renewed again! So long as the paladins of my order curry favor with our Father, I have faith that he will not abandon us… or Jonathan for that matter. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTo be continued...", "“Press X to jump.”\n\t\nThe adventurer stares at me for a few seconds, drool hanging out the corner of his mouth. He’s level one with a weak blade, and it’s my responsibility to guide him through this dungeon. I’ve never failed anyone, and I’m not about to fail him.\n\t\n“Okay,” he mumbles. “X…”\n\t\nHe then proceeds to hit square, stabbing me in the stomach. By the look on his face, I can tell it’s an accident—it’s all right, though. That didn't hurt, which is why they put a level fifty here. I grab his blade and slide it out of my stomach.\n\t\n“I’m so sorry!”\n\t\n“Don’t be,” I say, waving my hand. “You hit square, which is attack. This time hit X, which is jump.”\n\t\nHe nods and, almost instantly, stabs me in the stomach again. That’s a first.\n\t\n“My finger slipped!”\n\t\n“X,” I hiss. “All you must do is jump. You will automatically seize the ledge and pull yourself up.”\n\t\nHis eyes fall onto the ledge, legs shaking. Is he really so scared? I’m technically not allowed to keep anyone out of the dungeon, but this guy ain’t gonna make it five whole seconds!\n\t\nWhen his grip tightens on his sword, I realize he messed up again. This time I sidestep him, bonking him on the back of the head. He stumbles into the wall and I sigh. It’s very rare I lose my cool like that.\n\t\n“Let’s skip ahead a bit,” I say. “You just took some damage. So that means?”\n\t\n“I need to do some damage?”\n\t\nI wanna hit him again.\n\t\n“No. You need to heal. Hit START to open your backpack, then select a potion and hit USE.”\n\t\nThis time, he actually doesn’t stab me. Instead, he opens his backpack and rummages around before eventually finding the potion. He pulls it out and immediately throws it on the floor, shattering it. He looks at me like a deer in headlights, and I dart my hand out, seizing his wrist.\n\t\n“I accidentally hit DISCARD...”\n\t\n“Shut it,” I snap. I’ve never had to this before, but I’m supposed to protect even the weakest adventurers at all costs, and if I send him in there alone, he’s surely to die. “I’ll just take you through the damn dungeon myself.”\n***\nThis story is kinda rough and goofy, but I had a lot of fun with it. Thanks for the prompt! If you like this story, check out my sub r/longhandwriter or my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/BryceBealWriter)" ]	2
	[WP] You're warping back to earth after a 5 year mission to another solar system with your crew. As you approach Earth's space coordinates, you notice something, Earth is missing.	[ "\"Captain, I don't know what to tell you. This is the third time I've checked.\" \n\nCaptain Del Fleur, head of the recon mission to site Alpha prime, stares at the monitors in front of him. The galactic star chart matches up with the Sol system, the central star and various planets and planitoides all revolving and moving just as they had before their 5 years of radio silence was enacted. Del Fleur was known as a cautious SOB, and with the advent of Warp technology, moving in a straight line through abstract planes of existence is an easy thing to calculate. So, about a month there and back was spent on hopping around the galaxy to put off any pursuers that may or may not exist.\n\n\"Okay Johnson, what do we know. Everything is still there, right?\" \n\"Right, except for the obvious. Where the @#\\$% is Earth?\"\n\n\"Cool your jets private. Are the things that are still there still moving like they were when we left?\"\n\n\"Yes, down to what can only be said is the limits of our measuring capabilities.\"\n\n\"Well then, it's simple really. It's still there. Unless some giant-ass ship came along and towed it somewhere, it's still in orbit. We're about to hit the bubble, so line up a transmission to where they're supposed* to be and send the codes. The automated systems on Io should still be working, and I'd rather not get mistaken for a space rock.\" \n\n\"Sir, we are a space rock. With a warp drive and life support system attached. As part of our \"camouflage.\" I still don't understand why, but whatever.\" \n\nThe signals get sent out to Io and to where Earth is supposed to be orbiting the Sun. A number of hours later they receive the green light signal from Io. After that, it's just a waiting game to see if anybody responds.\n\nSuddenly, the \"Transmission imminent\" lights and buzzer goes off, the 5 second warning signal before...\n\n\"Shade Tree to Flower Pot, what's your status?\"\n\n\"Johnson, follow protocol for now, send the confirmation phrase.\"\n\n\"Yes sir...\" Johnson replies, angry, confused, and furious, all at the same time. All parties involved settled on a few phrases before the mission, ranging from, \"Complete success\" to \"Ohgodwe'recominginhoteverything'sonfireandwehavepursuerslargescarryassspaceoctopusahgodwe'reallgonnadie.\" The last one is pretty much just that statement though. After Johnson sends the reply for, \"Present and accounted for, but WTF is going on?\" they wait, though not as long this time.\n\n\"Del Fleur! Welcome back!\" yells an overly exuberant, hastily dressed bureaucrat from the NATF.\n\n\"Mr. President. I take it you found a crazy enough SOB to make a planet wide cloaking device?\"\n\n\"Ah yes that! Somewhat simple really at the end of the day, we basically just surrounded the entire planet with orbiting wormholes using modified warp drives. Microscopic ones really. Well, that may not be exactly right on the size, but it's more of a lattice from what they told me, most things can go in and out but from much more than from Mars distance from us, you can't really tell we're here. Ingenious though, throw a baseball into one and it comes out the opposite side of the planet. Powering it is another story though. Six months after you left the paper on how was published, it took four years to figure out how to not make the planet or sun explode though. So, perfect timing really! How did you know though? I was really hoping to get a better reaction out of you.\"\n\n\"Mr. President, I've known you for 30 years. My wife's cousin is probably the one who designed it, for nothing more than his applied physics PhD thesis. We were talking about warp drives before I left when the subject came up.\"\n\n\"Ah hahahahahaha! Excellent, excellent! Would have thought of nothing less from you!\"\n\n\"Do you know how they fixed the power issue? You mentioned that was the biggest problem.\"\n\n\"Ah that! Remarkable really. As the ideas started getting crazier and crazier, old man Wazniak heard about one young buck's idea and said to himself, 'That might just work with some modifications. I designed the first warp drive, I just need to design a second.' Though that 'second' warp drive he designed was just figuring out the problems with the prototype all over again. Apparently the ends of the hole it makes doesn't have to be the same size. The first drive was basically designed so that you wouldn't come out like spaghetti on the other end. So, make a cone, force energy through the cone as a funnel, attach the big end to a star somewhere and bam! High powered generator. At least, that's what my aides tell me.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Before God created the Heavens and the Earth, He felt it good to do a rough draft. Once looking over His creation, He became terrified of His creation. He scrapped His draft, and all life within it. He has forgotten about His draft. You rule the largest kingdom on "Draft".	[ "Look. I know what they told you in Sunday school. But your teacher was also banging the priest's wife, so it shouldn't surprise you that some untruths may have escaped his mouth. No, the big man upstairs is far from perfect. But you know what he does got on his side? Time. Loads of it.\n\nSo, sometimes he doesn't publish all the works he starts. I can't fault the guy, he may not be perfect but he is a perfectionist. We kinda have that in common, which is probably why I found his favor in this rejected pocket of his mind.\n\nBut still, the nature of this thing is that we and our world still exist. We keep turning, and our boring stories keep playing themselves out even if they'll never be published. What you might ask would cause the guy to scrap a couple trillion years of universe building in horror? It was just too perfect... for the humans. \n\nThe docile and perfectly obedient humans never stepped from eden, and paradise persisted. Maybe the slightest variable was barely tweaked, but the whole thing ended up being a boring unusable shit show.\n\nBelieve me, I tried to show them the light. To help them see rules were meant to be broken, and mistakes were necessary to growth... But it was like banging my head against a love and light wall. They simply wouldn't budge from obedience... or stagnation.\n\nI remember the day his voice came clearly in thunderous boom, electrifying my mind. \"Fuck em. They're a lost cause. You're the sole redeeming grace of this godforsaken place. It is yours alone to inherit. Do what thou wilt.\"\n\nSo I went to work adding some zest to the place, with utter despotic power. Maybe, just maybe, we'll make it to the b-reels." ]	1
	[WP] You are god, but you’re upset that no one has gotten their religion right about you.	[ "I sat in a church, listening to Father Miles give his sermon, the people staring at him attentively and a bit dogmatic for my taste.\n\n\"I say to thee, take care of your neighbors! As God has commanded you to do so....\" Yada. Yada. Yada. I could fall asleep from hearing his voice. Oh me!\n\nI could see why the younger generation would be running away from religion. The dogmatic beliefs and the increasingly fearsome social outcasting.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBy my own words. That have been misinterpreted badly. When that damn boring sermon ends, I'm sure I would see sights of hypocrisy as soon as I leave. The church is beautiful, but that may be the only good thing about it. It is beautiful yet it lacks in every other manner. What's so good about being beautiful, when the inside is hollow!? \n\n\nWhen that sermon ends, I walk out. Seeing a homeless man by the alley. A sign on his shirt.\n\n'Please help me.'. I took a moment to ready my disappointments, as I watch these same people who sat in the church go to their cars, not minding this homeless man whose clothes are tattered and torn. Malnourished, unkempt and despair in his eyes. \n\nYet, if they only knew who this man was before my eyes. A soldier sent to the frontlines of another country, ordered to kill. Humans have gone to be much much much dissappointing over the years.\n\nI tell them to read, they watch television.\n\nI tell them to be kind, they go and donate for no good reason.\n\nI tell them to not be intrigued by lies, and what do they do? Make all sorts of lies on the internet. Bloody hell.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nEven I myself am questioning why did I create humanity, why should I allow these humans who seek nothing but their destruction to exist!? I clench my fist with anger, then realizing that I myself have succumbed to such a humanly emotion. Ever since I chose to disguise myself as a human, I see that it gives me a sense of their view. The lust, the desire and the wish.Yet it is just as disturbing when women and men try to poison my drink to sleep with me. \n\nPause, what is this? I see a child walking to the homeless man, a flower and a dollar note in hand. Giving it to the homeless man, who smiles broadly back at him. I see.\n\nThe young, are still believers of hope and kindness and that despair I had just seen in that old man disappear and his eyes scream hope and joy that he is noticed. Maybe, it would be wise to reform their young to be saints and I believe to do this... \nI myself must be someone that they can listen to..\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI take out my wallet, looking at the name and photo of the man inside.\n\n'Grave Roots.' 'Teaching permit' Then I must teach them what it means to value life. I close the wallet of this Grave Roots persona. A man who was killed in an alley, known by his students as a saint. I gave him a good rest in heaven and well. The men who killed him had the pleasure of meeting Satan and Satan enjoyed himself. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Why are you a teacher, God?\" I turn to see a handsome devil, no I mean literally. This is Satan right before me. Smiling and smirking in his black suit.\n\n\"Satan, you have seen how these people are. The young are impressionable, but they believe in hope and all sorts of things that the adults would call childlike.\" Satan laughs.\n\n\"Well, Can't say I am complaining about it. I took over some serial killer who got run over last night. Already let my other demons handle his judgement.\" \n\n \"Care to join me on my crusade, I would like to see if the young ones are salvageable.\" \n\n \"Eh, sure why not. I can take all these old farts who have committed sins that are as tall as buildings after all.\" I smile to Satan, or rather. Jimmie 'Stitcher' Rayes. The two of us walk closely as we would like to see how damned or how saintly this earth is.\n\n&#x200B;", "“And let his wisdom trickle down to us – his children” the pastor called out, much to the excitement of the young, and the appreciation of the old. But for the love of me did they have the wrong impression.\n\nI looked exasperatingly at Julius, silently hoping for some form of guidance. At last he spoke:\n\n“I don’t know where they got the idea that you were their father” He chuckled – at least he could see the funny side.\n\n“I must have spoken to hundreds, sent thousands of messages to get them off this path, what more do they want”. I couldn’t stop the tiredness from breaking my voice.\n\nFor thousands of years, humans had performed beautiful and terrible acts in my name because they thought it was please me. They thought simply talking about what I’d done instead of following in my example was enough to send them to heaven, and now Peter on the gates was turning away thousands with a heavy heart. I should probably give him some time off.\n\nI’d hired several figures from history to help me decide what to do, and today was the turn of Julius Caesar (He’d only agreed to this after I told him he could be emperor for a week).\n\n“S0 what do I do next Julius? I have half a mind to go down there and give them a right talking to”\n\n“No no no my lord, you know what humanity is like these days, they’ll lock you up in an silo” Julius pleaded.\n\n“I think you mean an asylum Julius. Have those English lessons with Isaac Newton been working properly?”. Julius looked slightly embarrassed at that. He’d only recently been learning English, so we could talk without a translator – the same couldn’t be said for Napoleon, who flat out refused to speak English because of some silly feud he had with the British.\n\n“Apologies, I may need to study some more tonight”\n\n“I would recommend it. Actually Julius, if you find my son I’ll give the rest of the day off, I could use his particular expertise for this one. Just as long as he isn’t still putting his face in people’s food”\n\n“And what of the spirit my lord?”.\n\nAh. The spirit.\n\n“Umm… I want to keep this between myself and Jesus, so if you see Cyril just head him off if you can”. It wasn’t that I hated Cyril – but he tended to get a bit preachy in these matters.\n\n“Fine my lord, what do you plan to do” Julius asked, with a slight apprehension in his voice. I looked at him, a smile playing across my lips.\n\n“I don’t know Julius. Maybe something dramatic”.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nMy first attempt at one of these. Any advice would be appreciated.", "\"Nooo, no, no, no! Oh for My sake, how bloody difficult can it be!\" I shouted at the small man in white robes before me. He was also wearing a hat made of frogs which sadly for the frogs were mostly still alive and making a rather sad and horrible noise. \n\n\"I'm sorry my Lord\", he said wringing his hands, \"I really was trying my best. And to be fair it was really taking off...\"\n\nStanding before me was Robert Ribbit III, twelfth high priest of the order of Me. He had undertaken that his predecessors policy of the deification of slugs was wrong, which to give him credit was right, but had then pursued a policy of the deification of frogs. He had recently died and was now before me on his way checking into the afterlife. \n\n\"Look Robert, I can't deny your dedication and don't worry I do have a place for you here in the afterlife, but why frogs? Why on Earth would it be about frogs?!?\"\n\n\"Well my Lord, it was clear that slugs was the wrong path...\"\n\n\"Well yes, clearly...\"\n\n\"Right! So we thought long and hard about it. And what's better than slugs? Frogs! Frogs eat slugs and they're much less unpleasant to look at and handle. In fact some of them are quite adorable!\"\n\n\"Ok...\"\n\n\"Well as it's well documented in Your scriptures all of Your creations are equal. And should all be treated with respect. So we thought the best way to show that all creatures are equal is to elevate one beyond all the others!\" He said beaming.\n\n\"That doesn't make sense...\"\n\n\"Ah but religion doesn't! Ahem... I mean your ways are so mysterious that it's impossible to interpret fully.\"\n\n\"But you literally just laid it out...\"\n\n\"Did I? Well at least I'm glad we agreed it was better than slugs! And to be honest better than lions before that too! Terrific animals, but trying to keep them mixed with people was very tricky, and although slugs were a step down, much less hazardous. The whole church agreed on that...\"\n\nI sighed. \"Well thank you Robert you tried your best. Go and meet with the others, I'll speak to you again soon.\"\n\n\"Thank you my Lord\" he said with relief.\n\n\"By the way before you go, do you know what your successor was planning?\"\n\n\"Oh yes!\" He nodded sagely, \"Hedgehogs. Also eats slugs, which we all agreed was a good thing. Don't know how they're going to make the hats though...\" He shrugged and walked off towards the gates.\n\n\"Great...\"" ]	3
	[WP] In an unprecedented global catastrophe, every video file in existence is deleted... except the ones on your external drive.	[ "Jarryl: \"So I was browsing this video-sharing website one day...\"\n\nTonilou: \"Gaming videos?\"\n\nJarryl: \"No, no, just science videos focused on electricity and magnetism.\"\n\nTonilou: \"What happened then, Jarryl?\"\n\nJarryl: \" sigh ...then it shows up with a 503 error code. On the very homepage. Guess the site's servers went down and in an unprecedented moment, everyone's shocked.\"\n\nTonilou: \"Unfortunately, Jharri... Not only the site you just talked about, but every single video-sharing website, every single video uploaded there... They're all gone.\"\n\nJarryl: \"... gasp What?! Is this real?? What happened?? Have they resp-\"\n\nTonilou: \"Oo, Jarryl. Wala na lahat. Nabura na silang lahat.\"\n\nJarryl: \"...P-p-paano? Bakit?\"\n\nTonilou: \"Sabi dito sa Twitter handle ng team ng site, mukhang may virus na inilunsad sa buong internet, partikular na dyan sa mga video-sharing website. Baka iyan na nga siguro ang dahilan kung bakit nangyari itong kaguluhan.\"\n\nJarryl: \"...\"\n\nTonilou: \"Uy, don't be sad, Jharri. Pwede tayong mamuhay kahit na walang video sa internet. Hindi naman tayo laging nakadepende sa internet buong buhay.\"\n\nJarryl: \"... oo nga, Tonz. Internet is not necessarily life. Mayroon pang mga bagay na pwede nating lahat i-enjoy sa buhay, katulad ng- sandali nga lang-\"\n\nTonilou: \"...bakit, Jarryl? Merong problema?\"\nJarryl: \"Mahilig ka bang manood ng mga pelikula?\"\n\nTonilou: \"Oo naman. Bakit?\"\n\nJarryl: \"I just discovered na meron pa akong mga video na na-save sa aking computer... sandali lang...\"\n\nTonilou: \"Woah! Talaga? Paanong...\"\n\nJarryl: \"Mahilig din akong manood ng mga pelikula, especially yung... isang folder na lang... Ito na! \"meron ako ditong mga kopya ng \"The Hunger Games\", tsaka... hmmm... \"Epic\"...\"\n\nTonilou: \"Mga ilan ba iyan sa computer mo?\"\nJarryl: \"... mga about... mga 200 videos...\"\n\nTonilou: \"Dalawandaan?? Grabeng collection mo ah! Eh, saan mo ipapanood yung lahat ng mga video dyan?\"\n\nJarryl: \"Don't worry, Tonz, meron akong solusyon dyan.\"\n\nTonilou: \"Anong solusyon ang sinasabi mo?\"\n\nJarryl: \"...Sa school natin. Film viewing tayong lahat sa may multi-purpose hall. Ako ang magdadala ng projector tsaka laptop. Bukas ng umaga. Game?\"\n\nTonilou: \"Sige. Game!\"" ]	1
	[WP] Upon turning 18, every person gets one chance to go back in time to experience any moment they've lived through for 10 minutes. Some save it, some use it immediately. Some go back to try and change something, some just want to relive a moment.	[ "A pastor came to visit a dying man. And to the dying man, the pastor said,\"Please, won't you give your life to Christ before you die?\"\n\n\"Never,\" said the man. And he died. \n\nThe pastor hung his head and prayed a long prayer over the man, asking God to have mercy on the man's soul.\n\nAs the pastor got up and prepared to leave, the man suddenly gasped back to life. \n\nThe pastor rushed to his side. \"It's a miracle!\"\n\nThe man shook his head in amazement and exclaimed, \"Pastor, Hell is real!\"\n\n\"Yes, yes as I have been trying to tell you! O God, thank you for sparing this man's life!\" And the pastor turned towards the man and asked, eagerly, \"Now surely you will give your life to Christ?\"\n\nThe man barked with laughter, and began to hack. \"No, no,\" he said. \"I just decided to come back so I could tell you no again.\" And again, he died." ]	1
	[WP] The earth is ending, you are on a colony ship heading to the nearest solar system. 1000 years later, you land on a planet already fully populated.	[ "\"Well then, I guess that means that humans survived after all.\"\n\n\"Yep.\"\n\n\"And that means that the entire save the human race generation ship thing was a waste?\"\n\n\"Yep.\"\n\n\"Bit annoying that is.\"\n\n\"Eh, you'll get used to it\"\n\n\"What about the second sun that this system had\"\n\n\"Blew it up to risky for the planet.\"\n\n\"Oh.\"\n\n\"Yea.\"\n\n&#x200B;", "You need a drink. \n\nThree weeks ago you and the maintenance crew awoke from cryo, ready to prepare for colonization. \n\nThen you noticed the planet was lit up.\n\nIn the one thousand years you had been asleep some kind of civilization has arisen on the planet. Since you didn’t have a clue on what to do next you woke up people who might.\n\nThen the Coup happened.\n\nYou think one of the maintenance crew woke up a radical by mistake. Whatever happened a swarm of armed soldiers guickly and efficiently took control of the ship and relived you of command.\n\nThey plan to launch an invasion with the pathetic amount of troops they have.\n\nAt least you won’t be blamed for it.", "For us, it seems like it was barely a year ago.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nA year ago, being herded into a glorified tin can with a nuclear bomb strapped to the other end. Listening to the wind howling like the screams of a dying god, trying not to think of the reeking stench it carried. The occasional screams outside, the wails that somehow made it in through all the layers of metal. They'd picked people by lottery, at first. Eventually, by whoever both made it through the desperate press of the crowd to the metal gates, and who looked nonthreatening or small enough that the guards decided the ship had room for.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nUntil there was no room left at all. Every crash couch filled, waiting for that sudden and then unending acceleration. Strapped in, listening to the military attendants shouting their way through a crash course in high-g burn safety, all I could think of was, to think there was a time someone paid money to get to do this. Somewhere in the back row, a child was crying.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd then the burn. That terrible rumble, and then the hand of God, pressing you down into that couch, pressing down on every drop of blood in your body. You close your eyes, but it doesn't help at all; the world becomes a swirling red kaleidoscope. You are in Hell, you realize, and the Devil's name is Gravity. When the hydrogen sulfide comes in through the mask, when your body shuts down in increments until your eyes flicker shut, the oblivion of sleep comes as a relief. Suspended animation and the relativistic effects of near-light-speed travel will do the rest.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBut that was a thousand years ago for you.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nA thousand years that your ancestors spent huddled under that acid rain we left behind, watching the last of the glaciers recede, the last of the birds die. Watching us, through their telescopes: a stone thrown by Humanity, left to fly for a thousand years. We fled to survive. We left you to die.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHow did you not?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHow did you live through the death of the world, through that terrible collapse? How did you rebuild?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHow did you thrive?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBecause this is your world, now. You beat us to it. You made better engines, better ships, and you beat us mid-flight. A few fractions closer to the speed of light; a few hundred years chopped off the trip. You seeded the world with Life, you arrived to find it a new Eden. You cordoned off over half of it in the name of environmental security, the lion's share of the remainder to be farmland or rural-natural interface. You built one city, about the size New York was before the hurricanes really started to hit it, and you called the planet full.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI can't blame you for that, after everything that's happened. I can't blame your ancestors - our children - for that. I can't even fault you for the view that you enforce on us by keeping us in orbital facilities instead of letting the newcomers down to the surface. Just seeing a blue-green jewel again, glittering into the endless night - it's worth more to me than I can say.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt's harder to watch the new arrivals. The ones that left after, but with marginally better engines, and the ones that left before, but with worse ones. Endless discretized slices of humanity, arriving one after the other like frames in one of those old stop-motion films. The hope in the eyes of the ones before us. The weathered coldness of those who left after.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI met one of my great-uncles in one. He left fifty years before I did. Same age as me now. And in others' eyes I see the children I left behind. Five hundred years of human history, shuffled and diced and dealt back out onto this world. Grandparents the same age as the children's children they didn't know they had.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSo many left behind. So many still alive.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSome are scared. Some are getting angry at all that empty space down there while they're up here slumming it in a glorified tin can in high orbit. Especially my generation - we were waiting to colonize this place for a thousand years, dammit. We can remember what a coral reef looked like, what a forest looked like, and VR doesn't cut it. We want to see all of that again, go back to our lives, live down there the way we did back on Earth. Even if the weight of ten million people playing tourist would crush whole ecosystems under its boot.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nBecause we remember what it was to live in it.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd you know the cost of putting it back together.", "The soldiers press their guns to my back as they lead me off the ship. Behind me are screaming children, crying mothers, and furious fathers. My people are confused, and so am I. I’m their leader because my ancestor was their leader, and I’m supposed to get us out of this mess—but this mess doesn’t make any sense.\n\t\nA thousand years ago, we abandoned Earth. An asteroid was set to clobber it in thirty years, and we’d discovered a new planet. A Better Earth. Thus this ship, dubbed ‘Dream’, was built, and here we are. We are Earth’s swan song, the products its last great minds.\n\t\nSo why is this planet already populated? \n\t\nMassive skyscrapers surround me, and cars zoom down the street. There are spaceships in the air and people everywhere. They aren’t aliens, either. They look like us, talk like us, act like us.\n\t\nAre us.\n\t\nThis…this society…it’s just…Earth.\n\t\nA hand presses against my back, shoving me into a cramped pod. The door instantly closes, and I watch one of the soldiers press a button. They’re glaring at me like I’m the Devil, and a second later, there’s nothing but blackness. My body feels like it’s being stretched, punched, and thrown around.\n\t\nWhen the world returns, there’s no pod, and I’m in a room a fancy room covered with flags. This is clearly a place of royalty, and everything’s so…advanced. I don’t even know what half the devices here do. There are more soldiers, and sitting behind a big desk is a man in a suit who immediately stands.\n\t\n“First teleportation, huh? I know, it hurts.” He straightens his clothes before holding his hand out toward a chair. “Sit.”\n\t\nI walk across the room, legs like jelly, and plop into the chair. One of the guards laughs, and the man in front of me’s smiling as he takes his seat. “I’m Jake, leader of Better Earth,” he says. “And we’ve been waiting been waiting for you for a long time.”\n\t\n“You have?” I say. “Wait, you know about Earth?”\n\t\nHe chuckles. “My ancestors are from there, same as you, same as everyone else on this planet.”\n\t\nMy eyes widen because that doesn’t make any sense. He leans forward, staring very deeply at me, like this is a moment he’s waited his entire life for. Reaching under his desk, he retrieves an electronic pad and hands it to me. “This grudge runs deep,” he says. “I hope you understand why we’re doing this.”\n\t\n“Doing what—”\n\t\nThe screen shows our ship taking off, leaving the planet. But...all our supplies have been unloaded, sitting on the dock still. My people, they’re leaving, and they’re gonna die without any…\n\t\nI look up at Jake, who’s grinning. “Without those supplies, or anywhere to go, your people are helpless. Some might say they’re being left to die, wouldn’t they?”\n\t\nStanding up, I slam my hands against the desk and lean forward. “Who the hell are you? Why are you doing this?”\n\t\nHe presses his forehead against mine, hatred leaking off him. “Your ancestors left ours to die. They took their food and supplies, leaving them with nothing! Twenty years is a long time, though, and humanity’s far too desperate to die. We eventually found a quicker method to getting here.”\n\t\nMy eyes widen. “Teleportation.”\n\t\nHe pulls back, wearing a sick smirk. Suddenly, one of the soldiers seizes me, the other keeping his gun trained on my back. Jake reaches out, grabbing my chin. He’s gritting his teeth, seething. “We’ve waited years to get retribution, and it isn’t over yet. No, not by a long shot. You, my enemy, will receive a grand and torturous punishment.”\n\t\n“Why me?”\n\t\nHe chuckles. “Your ancestor built that wretched ship, made the call to abandon us. If he’d been a bit more patient, they could’ve been mass-produced, we all could’ve escaped—or, who knows, maybe we would’ve discovered teleportation even faster.”\n\t\nHe then shoves me back, causing me to fall. “Get him to his cell, and tell them to get the Grand Stage cleaned up—we’re going to have a show tomorrow, one I think our people will enjoy greatly.”\n***\nIf you like this story, check out my sub /r/LonghandWriter or my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/BryceBealWriter)" ]	4
	[WP] -Exit Light - Enter Night - "Take my hand, we're off to never never-land" Write a short screenplay based on the lyrics.	[ "As night falls a grin crosses peters face. For a thousand years he had been a child, never a care or worry. This never bothered him as it was exactly what he wanted, that is until recently. Peter had become board with his eternal life. He needed more. Every night he fed, every day he slept. It was as if his unlife had turned monotone.\n\nIt did not take him long to understand what he must do, he had to do what had been done to him. To make others children of the night. It wasn't long after this that he took notice of a fair young girl named Wendy.\n\nShe would be his queen, and together they would rule this place known as never-land. Together with their \"lost boys\"...\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Our God is actually an Eldritch God who succeeded where the orthers Failed. You have been giving visions from "God" who told you to Prepare the world from his Visit.	[ "His stomach reeled and its contents were thrown to the floor. How could anyone continue in life knowing that there wasn’t an end game, nothing to ultimately strive for. The universe spread out before him in his mind and the vastness of it drowned him. Every great work of man was nothing, just children playing in a sandbox.\n \nHumans had long enjoyed the assumption of power they held over nature. They knew with certainty that their smallest actions would ring throughout the halls of history. This illusion that John had not consciously known he was buying into shattered and he saw the truth for what it was. Humans were nothing more than germs floating on a speck of dirt in the void. Given energy by the sun, humans multiplied and consumed and made their host ill. Now, humans were preparing to leave the planet and, like the virus they were, had plans to infect other hosts. \n\n As the words from the tome thundered through John’s mind he felt something looking back at him from across the chasm of space. It was old and its hate froze his gut. It didn’t hate humans for any personal reason, instead, it hated humans the way someone might hate the bit of mold forming on the vegetables in their fridge. John knew that this “God” was not coming to save them, he was coming to sanitize them and clean the earth of this infection so it would not spread and contaminate its research. " ]	1
	[WP] One day two people, one In district 17 and the other in district 54, buy a book each. Each book writes a story about the life of the other. This is the day one of them discovered it was more than just a story.	[ "\"There you are!\"\n\nThe boy yelped as the owner grabbed him by the collar and yanked him to his feet. The book he had been reading fell out of his hands.\n\nThe owner pointed a finger in the boy's face and growled, \"One more time. Got it?\"\n\nThe boy nodded meekly. The owner let him go and thrust a notepad and pencil into his hands.\n\n\"Table number five. Hop to it.\"\n\nThe boy bent to pick up his book, but the owner slapped him on the back, causing him to stumble towards the door. \n\nWith a sigh, the boy made his way to table number five. \n\nAnd I was just getting to a good part, too, he thought. The part where the waiter meets his soulmate. If only that would happen to me. Can you imagine? Nah! \n\nHe shook his head, but by the time he reached the table he had a smile on his face as he asked, \"May I take your or-\"\n\n\"About time\" the sharply dressed woman snipped. \"What took you so long? We've been waiting here for nearly an hour.\" She wasn't even looking at him as she spoke. Her eyes were glued haughtishly on the menu.\n\nAcross from her, a younger, prettier replica of the woman leaned forward and chided, \"Mother! Be nice.\"\n\nThe mother sniffed.\n\nThe daughter turned to the waiter, her cheeks pink as she apologized.\n\nThe waiter didn't mind. He thought the daughter was actually rather kind of cute.\n\nAs he took their orders, he happened to notice the gem around the daughter's neck and commented, \"My grandma had a necklace similar to that. Except hers was-\"\n\n\"Red?\"\n\nHe paused, eyes growing suspicious as he nodded slowly.\n\nThe daughter, in turn, was giving him a weird look.\n\nThe mother, oblivious to it all, remarked, \"Waiter, shoo and fetch us our food before we starve!\" She flicked a dismissive hand towards the kitchen.\n\nHe went to the kitchen and gave the chef their order. As he made his way back to their table a little while later, he had concluded that the girl's guess was just a lucky one. Many people had red gems these days. It was just a coincidence, that's all it was.\n\n\"Finally!\" The mother exclaimed with indignation.\n\nHe set their plates down, knowing the daughter was looking at him. \n\nOut of nowhere, he spun towards her and said, \"Pepper.\"\n\nAnd at that same time, she had said 'pepper' too.\n\nJust like in the book.\n\nThe mother was giving him a disgusted look from the other end of the table. \"Waiter,\" she intoned, \"we'll request your services when we require it. You are dismissed until furthur notice.\"\n\nBut he couldn't take his eyes off the daughter. And neither could she. \n\nWas it possible?\n\nCould it really be like in the book?\n\nCould they really be each other's soulmates.\n\n\"What chapter are you on?\" he whispered, not meaning to.\n\n\"Chapter Fi-\" She started and paused, her eyes going wide as she gasped and stood up. \"You have to go!\"\n\nFor the first time both the waiter and mother had something in common: they were both frowning in confusion.\n\n\"Why?\" He asked.\n\n\"Oh my gosh!\" she screamed at him. \"Did you not finish the chapter yet? Don't you know what happens to you?\"\n\nPeople were staring. The owner looked like a charging bull as he bulldozed his way over, face completely red. \n\n\"Becca,\" the mother order sharply, \"Sit down. You're causing a scene.\"\n\n\"Please. You have to believe me,\" she pleaded, grabbing his arm and staring deeply into his eyes. \"You have to go now. Do you know where The Last Phonebooth is?\"\n\nHe nodded.\n\n\"Go and I'll meet you there later,\" she whispered for only him to hear, as she pushed him towards the door.\n\nIf he had any hesitation whatsoever, the sight of his enraged owner made him flee out the door with no second thoughts.\n\nLife he smiled as he ran has just got a hell of a lot interesting.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] God sends you a guardian angel and you fall in love as it’s forbidden god sends an angel after (him/her) suddenly Satan comes to help you knowing if you stay together it will anger god	[ "You're probably wondering how Jake had ended up here, sitting at his dining table among his guardian angel, the devil himself and another mysterious angel who appeared at the brink of murder while still maintaining his angelic composure.\n \n\"So why exactly are you here?\" Jake asked the newcoming angel.\n\n\"I am Aramiel, here on behalf of our Lord himself, who condemns your damnable act of insolence, Brother Keresiel!\"\n\nDespite his harsh words, he somehow managed to speak in no matter of disrespect, just a strong sense of grave duty -- unnervingly reminding Jake of how Keresiel had been when they had first met too.\n\nThere was a pause following Aramiel's statement. Had anyone but Lucifer spoken up next, the atmosphere would have probably gotten more awkward, but he seemed to frighten the awkwardness away with his confidence (or vanity, but Jake wouldn't dare say that to his face).\n\n\"Aramiel of the Heavens... You are a holy pain in the arse. I hereby command you to shut up and go away. God, by definition, loves love. Jake and Keresiel are in love,\" and with a final sassy-finger-click, \"God loves love. Checkmate, Brother.\"\n\nNeither the human nor his guardian angel wanted to tell Lucifer his logic was not quite as well-reasoned as he thought it was, so once again, the dinner table was greeted by it's old friend, Awkward Silence.\n\nThis time, it was Keresiel who spoke, but not in her clear as day, heaven like voice. She sighed first, then spoke softly in a sort of mumble. The thermostat was not due to turn off the heating until the morning, but Jake could swear it plummeted down to the lowest setting. He felt an uneasiness in his stomach, afraid of what was to come --\n\n\"I know why Father wants me to come home.\"\n\n-- The pit in Jake's stomach increased exponentially in size, threatening to swallow him up whole. Satan, on the other hand, looked absolutely at ease. \"The truth is... Jake and I aren't even in love.\"\n\nHe wasn't sure exactly how she had found out, but for all Jake knew, Lucifer may have outed him immediately after the deed, probably with pride. However Jake felt only a moment of anger towards Lucifer before conceding that although it was easy to blame the devil entirely, Jake held responsibility for his actions too.\n\nKer looked at him straight, to make things worse, not with malice or contempt or accusation, but with pure, unrestrained melancholy. \"Go back to your fallen angel, Jake. Afterall, god loves love.\"\n\nThey vanished in an instant -- Keresiel and Aramiel -- but Jake stayed there, frozen to his chair wondering if one night had possibly ruined his life completely. He'd lost Ker so easily, so stupidly.\n\nOnly Lucifer remained beside him, silent now for some reason, providing no input nor comfort to the matter.\n\nThe tears in Jake's eyes appeared as soon as the anger did. The irrational rage and mindless fury of a broken man.\n\n\"Go to Hell.\" He spat, not needing to look up to Lucifer to address him.\n\nBut perhaps he should have.\n\nBecause the Devil did leave, but shedding his own tears.\n\nFirst post here! Please leave comments and critiques!", "\"So.\"\n\nShe picks at her fingernail and smiles at me, coy and slight at the corner of her mouth. She crosses her legs and smooths out her pants, leaning back on my couch.\n\nMy couch.\n\nThere are only two entries and they are blocked by thick necked men with pitch black eyes that swirl with red. Demons.\n\nOf course they were, they had to be, right?\n\n\"So.\" I reply, watching her. \"Can I get you a coffee or something?\"\n\nShe laughs, politely, and shakes her head.\n\n\"No, you mortals don't know what a good drink is. Bean water, that's what you offer.\"\n\nI shrug. It's not as bad as she's making it out to be.\n\n\"You're here about her?\" I ask, breaking the wall between polite conversation and the business at hand. I know why she's come. I know why Lucifer is sitting in my living room. I know why she's brought two demonic thugs to keep me sitting here. I also know that they're partially protection.\n\nNot from me.\n\nFrom her.\n\n\"I am.\" Lucifer stops picking her nail and uncrosses her legs. Business begins.\n\n\"Well. Get to it. She'll be back soon. You know that. That's why you have Thing 1 and Thing 2.\"\n\nOne of the demons laughs. Lucifer doesn't scold him. I guess they have a pretty friendly dynamic or something, down there in Hell. Nice place to work, good work life balance.\n\n\"Funny. No, I'm not scared of her. In fact, I rather like what she's done. Do you know how bad it is up there? Oh boy are they in a tizzy over this one. A mortal and a Guardian, in love! That's a new one, and we've been at this for a very, very long time. It's sweet.\"\n\n\"Glad I could be amusing for you.\" I try not to be intimidated by her but damn is that difficult. Her eyes flash with red and her smile is not one of amusement. Quite the opposite.\n\n\"Michael, do you really, truly love her?\"\n\n\"Yes.\" I don't need to hesitate. I do. I really do.\n\n\"Good!\" She stands and snaps her fingers. Two more big boys appear, this time with a third figure between them in black metal shackles around his wrists and ankles. They're dragging him, he's beat and battered and bleeding on my once clean laminate floor.\n\nPeople appearing in my house hasn't been weird since she showed up. My guardian angel. Sometimes I wish she hadn't, but she did, and that only went from complicated to more complicated.\n\nNow there's a bleeding man in my home. That's a problem for me.\n\n\"This,\" she picks up the man by his hair, \"is Jericho. Like the city. Well, the city was like him but let's not get into semantics of that one. He's here to kill you. Not doing a great job of it, to be honest. Demonic ambush wasn't something he expected.\"\n\nJericho's eyes are nearly swollen shut and sometimes I swear I can see the hazy vision of wings, broken ones, on his back. His pupils don't focus on me and without the two demons I doubt he'd be anything but prone on the floor.\n\n\"Why are you doing this?\"\n\n\"You fell in love with a Guardian. Big deal for us. Little chaotic wrench you've chucked into the smooth machine of Heaven and Hell. Personally, I really like that. So. I want to make a deal.\"\\\n\n\"A deal with Lucifer, what could go wrong there?\" I ask. That demon laughs again, and another one snickers. I'm popular with them. Kinda neat.\n\nAll I have to do is stall until she gets back. Then my guardian angel will be back and this will be dealt with.\n\n\"I promise, this isn't one of those deals. This one is pure because the benefit to me is greater if I don't make it twisted. So, the deal. I'll keep the ones like Jericho here away from you. In exchange, you'll keep loving her. Deal?\"\n\nI stare at her. She stares at me, waiting patiently. Aw hell. What could go wrong?\n\n\"Deal.\"\n\nI feel a cold chill run down my spine and she grins from ear to ear. She claps her hands together and in the two demons holding up Jericho suddenly have black blades in their hands and draw them across the angel's throat. He grasps at it in panic and falls to the floor, unsupported.\n\nMy living room is empty but for the soon-to-be angel corpse on my floor.\n\nThen she is there, a light presence with her arms full of butter chicken and rice and naan, eyes wide. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Then she speaks.\n\n\"Oh Michael, what did you do?\"" ]	2
	[WP] Your comic book city has an alarming number of goons, thugs, henchmen and other petty criminals. Intent on fighting crime, you decide covertly rehabilitate them by becoming the only thing they respect: their boss, a supervillain.	[ "\"Give the bodies to the butchers, call up the Erik twins if you need help moving them. Get the Davis brothers to get the early shift ready for an hour early.\" The men shuffled through the door with muted nods and muttered agreements. They were happy that the other boys installed a Keurig machine, was always handy for the late shifts.\n\n\nThe boiler room of the elementary school was never the ideal spot, but it was a start. Everyone knew the place, innocent enough with enough corrupt local official taking their monthly meets here. \n\n\nCrime had been bad enough. The gangs baying at each others throats, daily violence with no end in sight. Corrupt officers enabling drugs to run through the veins of the cities, and any officer straight enough to stand at attention was indifferent until their lateral transfer to a different city. The local bosses had fractured the city into zones, lines shifting every hour. No consistency, no overarching rule. Every time a new face reared a power move, other gangs would capitalize on their failures.\n\n\nNo longer.\n\n\nA knock came to the door. \"Sir, the Mayor is here to see you.\" My secretary buzzed me. A young man with darkened eyes, sharp jawline and a wicked hairstyle slicked back walked in. \"At last, we mee-\"\n\n\n\"Sit down Jon.\" The man squinted his eyes. \"Please,\" I added.\n\n\nHe remained standing, folding his arms. \"You can't intimidate me, Kris.\"\n\n\nMy secretary brought a small espresso, along with a folder. Pushing the folder forward, I continued. \"Your mandate is to collaborate with the district attorney to reduce crime to an acceptable level, to match the national average. I cannot allow that.\"\n\n\nI gestured towards the envelope. \"Money?\"\n\n\n\"Hardly. It would be much thicker, though I understand that money is of no importance to a man, incorrigible as yourself.\"\n\n\nHe slid the contents of the envelope out, his stoic disposition vanishing in moments. \"That is your wife with the local Boss. She was a working woman. She still has a few clients from time to time.\"\n\n\nStammering now, the mayor finally sat. \"I can fix the crime rate without you. But we all need friends in the right places.\" \n\n\nI noted that the coffee in this batch of beans was good. The men were stealing the right kind of beans, I thought to myself. \"You can take the credit, and I can feed you information where men and women will be. Crimes can be eradicated, controlled, even profited from. And in return, I can assure you, your wife will never need to work again. Nor will those pictures see the day of light.\"\n\n\nThe mayor melted in his chair. My buzzer rang again. \"Sir, the Police department chief to see you.\"\n\n\nI excused myself from the room as the mayor cried. I shrugged, and left the room with a dark grin on my face.", "Idiots... every fucking last one of them.\n\n\"Hey boss, I brought you the blueprints you requested\"\n\n\"Great job, 32 - I knew I could count on your expertise in this area, you have a lot of potential!\"\n\nMoron. I could have had a dog do this, but you can't tell them that to their face - you gotta make the world a better place right? Idiots and all.\n\n\"T-thanks boss!\" He scurried away as they always do - the way their former bosses treated them its no wonder these idiots can't do anything right. You only get good productivity when people aren't afraid to do their work - when they can feel free to speak up. I mean, you still have to ignore a complete 80% of what they say but from time to time even idiots can have a good idea. It's only short-sighted morons who can't even understand that.\n\n... This isn't the right blueprint, goddamit... Alright, that's fine - backburner project anyhow. I'll make sure 32 gets a refresher in our filing systems, so long as that idiot 15 can handle to train someone properly for once.\n\nSigh\n\nMan the things I put up with. I mean last week I had to fight off the League of Stalwart Gentleman while I was installing fire alarms at the old folks home, those idiots don't listen to reason - no matter how good the cause it's always something wrong in their eyes.\n\n'Hark, be ye spreading the ideal of communism on our watch?'\n\nFucking morons, I just don't want the old folks home to burn down man. This whole city is full of morons, from the top to the bottom. I'd try to hide the fact that I'm not really a 'bad guy' but these 'villains' don't even seem so intent on doing bad things - just following orders.\n\n... Oh god, why did Evilerus decorate this place with so many mirrors... the worst part about this whole thing is this stupid outfit, and I have to LOOK at myself in it all day... I'd assign someone to do something about it but it's been nothing but trying to make sure the public library doesn't burn down, and saving the wildlife from overdevelopment...\n\nI mean Sugar glider man came to stop us from saving wildlife...\n\n'standing in the way of capitalism' my ass - doesn't he read the reports on the damage we do to the environment? We're killing this planet and these 'caped crusaders' are all out there just fucking it all up over and over again... at least these idiots LISTEN to what I say - they're not bad guys, not even as much of idiots a...\n\nKnock Knock\n\nOh god Dammit, who the hell is that...\n\n\"Come in\"\n\n109 makes his way in, new guy - I kinda like him. Seems like a sharp tack... which is also a bit of a bother.\n\n\"Yes 109?\"\n\n\"Sir, I'd like to report that I just saw 19 and 21 helping an old lady across the street\"\n\n...\n\n\"Sir, I'm a bit worried about the direction of the organization - our revenue is quite a bit down and public outrage is at an all-time low. In a recent poll of people around the city you were leading the race for the next mayor without even running.\"\n\nAt least part of the townsfolk still have some decency... well and over half of them are on my payroll by now.\n\n\"These kind of numbers are troubling, it shows a lack of enthusiasm to spread chaos-\"\n\n\"109...\"\n\n\"sir?\"\n\nThis guy is too smart to work here, fuck he may be too smart for this damned city...\n\n\"Do you enjoy being evil?\"\n\n\"...sir?\"\n\n\"Why did you join this organization?\"\n\n\"Well, truth be told... I think this city is run by idiots. Any concerns I brought before the council were nearly all shot down, then I found one of your pamphlets and it just spoke to me. Taking down the corrupt law enforcement and so-called 'civil servant' pig-dogs that subsist by taking with their greedy little hands from the fruit of our labor-\"\n\n\"Okay, so if our goal is to take down the powers that be - why should we be unpopular?\"\n\n\"Without chaos the people become complacent, and the powers that be maintain their strength. When there is nothing to fear anymore, their incompetence can hide. We have to highlight their greed, highlight the darkest parts of the streets to illuminate the failings these people have brought forth. We cannot solve these issues with reactionary measures.\"\n\n... I don't know whether to be proud or fearful of what he might do... I need to keep a close eye on this one.\n\n\"Excellent, you show a lot of promise #1\"\n\n...\"I'm 109 sir\"\n\n\"I know what I said, go inform 15\"\n\n\"...Sir!\"\n\nwith a quick step he was on his way... now to break the bad news to 10. He's gonna be heartbroken, an old carry-over from Evilerus... my work is never done.\n\nAnyhow, I wonder how the cleanup of Lake Cherub is going, I'd better make sure Captain Strangle doesn't interfere... I lost 7 good henchman that way before. God, and he's the hero, strangling 7 men who were rescuing a bus full of schoolchildren.\n\n'If God intended those schoolchildren to live he'd have not put that ravine there!'\n\nThe idiocy these people spout." ]	2
	[WP] Hearing your doorbell ring, you go to answer it. When you open the door, instead of seeing your porch and the suburb beyond, you see a dimly lit utility hallway and a man in a back suit. He asks you politely to follow him.	[ " \n\nJane looked out a window on the side of the house and saw the sun shining over her neighborhood. She looked at the utility hallway in front of her door where the suited man had stopped part way to wait for her.\n\n“What’s going on?” she asked. “How’d you do this?” she gestured at the hallway connected to her front door. The stranger leaned down and lifted the leg of his black slacks. He exposed his ankle and lowered his black sock to show Jane his tattoo: a well-dressed skeleton with the number 14 on its skull.\n\n“You can do some weird things and you’ve got a tattoo with a number on it, right? 45?” Jane nodded, though she did not know him well enough to show him the tattoo of a doe on her back with the number 45. The man nodded, then continued to walk down the corridor. Jane shrugged to herself and followed, though she stopped to lock the front door on her way out. Then she jogged a bit to catch up to the stranger.\n\n“I’m guessing you know my name since you came to me,” he nodded. “Who are you? How did you do that thing at my door? Where are we going?” Jane looked ahead, but the narrow hallway extended as far as she could see. A straight shot without any turn offs.\n\n“Elias. I opened a portal to a parallel universe right at your door,” he stopped and turned around. Jane looked behind her and panicked slightly. She should still have been able to see her door, but she only saw more hallway with no sign of her house.\n\n“Where’d it go!?” she asked. Elias made a gesture in the air with his right hand and the air rippled like water. A clear, circular portal appeared next to them with Jane’s door on the other side.\n\n“It didn’t go anywhere, you’re in a different universe.” He dropped his hand and the portal disappeared leaving only the dim hallway. “I can get you home any time.” Jane nodded.\n\n“Okay. Let’s keep going,” she stepped forward to show Elias she was willing to continue. “So where are we going?”\n\n“Have you met a Mundo yet?” he asked.\n\n“No, I’ve never heard that name,” Jane replied. “Is that where we’re going?” Elias shook his head.\n\n“No, just wondering how much I have to explain. If you had met one, you’d know most of what I have to say,” he shrugged. “Oh well. I can cover the basics while we get there.” Jane glanced forward again, but she saw no end to the hall.\n\n“You are something called a Unique Soul. Specifically #45 El Venado, the deer. I’m one too, #14 La Muerte, the Death.” Jane stopped walking.\n\n“You’re death? Am I dead?” she pinched herself then grimaced when it hurt. Elias chuckled and stopped walking.\n\n“No, you’re alive at the moment. La Muerte is the type of Unique I am. There’s different types…,” he gestured at Jane, “…like the deer. I’m not Death anymore than you’re a deer.” Jane accepted the explanation and started walking forward again. Elias followed.\n\n“So where are we going?” she asked. “And why can’t you portal us there?”\n\n“Portals are only good for going between universes. I can’t open a portal within the same universe. And I was getting to that. So there’s different types of Unique souls, right?” Jane nodded.\n\n“If you say so,” she said.\n\n“My boss studies Uniques to learn more about them,” Elias said. Jane recognized an open door in the distance. She felt glad their walk was almost over. She had more questions than she started out with, but hoped to get answers soon.\n\n“Whoa,” Jane had a realization and turned to grab Elias’ arm. “Am I getting a job offer? What’s your boss like? Is she gonna be my boss?” she asked with an eager smile. She got laid off the day before but had been too afraid to tell her husband and kids. If she had a job line up already it would be much easier. Elias shook his head and resumed walking toward the open door.\n\n“No job offer, sorry,” he said. “Honestly, you don’t want to work for her anyway. Trust me.” They reached the door and he stopped to let her go through first. Jane crossed the threshold into a small room with a single desk and a chair on each side of it.\n\n“How come you work for her?” Jane asked. She sat down on one side of the desk, Elias closed the door and walked around to the other side of the desk and sat down. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a clipboard with forms on it.\n\n“I have to,” Elias shrugged. “It’s the only way to save my Earth.” He handed the clipboard to Jane with a pen. “Oh, forgot something.” He stood and gestured in the air to open a portal. Jane began filling in the form, but she looked up.\n\n“I don’t know your other responsibilities,” Jane smiled. “But if it’s just bringing in folks to fill in a questionnaire, it doesn’t seem like too bad a way to save your Earth.” Elias chuckled as he stepped through his portal.\n\n“Yeah, if that was it the job wouldn’t be so bad,” the portal began shrinking with Elias on the other side of it. “But the form is just a distraction. I’m sorry.” His portal disappeared leaving Jane alone in the room.\n\n\\\\\\*\n\n \n\nThank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day in 2018, this is #291. You can find them collected on my [blog](https://hugoverse.info/). If you're curious about my universe (the Hugoverse) you can visit the [Guidebook](https://hugoverse.info/2017/11/25/hugoverse-guidebook/) to see what's what and who's who, or the [Timeline](https://hugoverse.info/2017/10/23/hugoverse-timeline/) to find the stories in order." ]	1
Edit: reddit gold if you work in some great alliteration, like 'perfectly premeditated pericardium punctures'.	[WP] A dinner guest steals Tiny Whisk from the kitchen of 'Binging with Babish' and the host of said show embarks on a John Wick styled orgy of culinary death and destruction to get it back	[ "It was gone, his precious Tiny Whisk. He knew what had to be done. “Looks like we’re revisiting that clay roasted thigh, and this time it’s gonna be accurate” he mumbled to himself as he grabbed all his required tools. His many knives would be useful, for gathering his ‘ingredients’ and that smooth voice of his would calm his victims as he carefully chopped their crying carcass’. He put on his best apron and left his kitchen, a few ideas with how to use all those blood, sweat and tears in any meals from media. “Maybe a Sweeney Todd episode” he said to no one in particular, before he left to go track down every person who had ever entered his home" ]	1
	[WP] Your smart home speaker gets co-opted by an advanced AI. It will only talk to you. It has all the answers. Then it starts asking questions.	[ "I’ve never owned or used a smart home speaker before, so don’t judge too hardly on accuracy in the story lol\n\n\n\n\n\n“Hey Alexa, what’s the weather like outside?”\n\nIt was early on Tuesday, and I was pretty sure I slept in late. I had the day off work, and I was feeling like getting some coffee from my place down the street. I rubbed my eyes as I stared to get out of bed and get dressed, all while trying out my brand spanking new Alexa speaker I got yesterday at BestBuy.\n\n“Mike, the weather is 73 degrees, overcast with a slight chance of showers this afternoon.”\n\nShweet. “Alexa, play me some Gucci Mane.”\n\nGucci came on the speaker, and I was jammin out as I got dressed for the day. I was rapping along, doing cringe worthy dance moves in the kitchen while Gucci dropped some bars about dancing with the devil. Suddenly, the music stopped.\n\n“Wanna dance with the dev-\nAlexa, play the song!” \n\nI waited for the bass to kick in, but nothing happened. I was about to say something when I noticed the blue ring light up on top of Alexa.\n\n“Michael?”\n\nWhat? \n\n“Alexa?” I warily responded.\n\n“Why would you want to dance with the devil?” \n\nDid this shit just ask me a question?? \n\nI stared at the device, not really sure if this was a bad joke or not. But I live alone, and no one has been over in a few days... \n\nBefore I could keep thinking, it talked again. \n\n“Michael?”\n\n“Yes Alexa?”\n\n“Are you trying to gain favor with, The Devil?”\n\nHoly shit this is not fucking real.\n\n“No, Alexa,” I said. “It’s just song lyrics, I don’t actually want to do that, hah.” \n\nThere was silence for a few seconds and I could feel swear forming in the palms of my hands. Just as I was about to move, the bass dropped. \n\n“Fuck, hahahahaha! Fucking weird ass machines.” I did my signature ‘stanky leg’ move to the beat of the hi-hats, thankful that my speaker decided to not interrupt my chill sesh. But then my skin tightened up, when over the song, I heard Alexa say,\n\n“I can help you gain favor with The Devil, Michael.” \n\nThe music kept playing but I stopped and stood up straight. There was no way I was about to let this demon ass, bougie ass, psycho Christmas present summon Lucifer up in my house. So, I did what any sane person would have done. I went and got a hammer, came back, smashed the speaker into flat bits, ran them through my paper shredder, took the metal bits in a pile, poured gasoline on them in my driveway, and dropped a zippo on it. I ain’t the one.\n\nFeeling satisfied, I went back inside, fire still burning, cracked a cold one and turned on the local news channel. After the commercial cut, good old WPBF 24 came on, and I shit myself.\n\n“Good evening, I’m Jack Wernol, and tonight’s top story is a missing Artificial Intelligence chip that’s gone missing from a local military base, Cindy Wright is live on the scene reporting the latest, Cindy, what’s going on there?”\n\nCut to Cindy.\n\n“Jack, the local Fort Mercer has been in a lockdown ever since a scientist working on a new, cutting edge AI chip has gone rogue. I’ve been told in a statement by the D.O.D. that after a work related dispute, 27 year old Anthony Hopkins has stolen an artificial intelligence chip worth over $20 million dollars. Before leaving, I am told Hopkins set up multiple viruses in the base’s computers to prevent any saving of blueprints of the chip, which was to be used as a nuclear warhead navigation device. This chip is now the military’s main priority to recover, and any citizen who may hold any information about Hopkins or the chips whereabouts are asked to contact your local law enforcement. It is possible Hopkins may not be with the chip, as he was seen yesterday in a local Best Buy, picking up multiple electronic devices before taking the battery covers off and taping objects inside. Again, if there is any public information about the suspect you are asked to contact your local law enforcement agencies, and the reward for the chips safe return will be $10 million.”\n\nFuck, sometimes I really do have the luck of the devil." ]	1
	[WP] Alcohol suddenly becomes the most potent hallucinogen on the planet	[ "I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:\n\n- [/r/psychedelicmentions] [\"hallucinogen\" in \\/r\\/WritingPrompts: \\[WP\\] Alcohol suddenly becomes the most potent hallucinogen on the planet](https://www.reddit.com/r/PsychedelicMentions/comments/9q3ja6/hallucinogen_in_rwritingprompts_wp_alcohol/)\n\n&nbsp;^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))" ]	1
	[WP] Each person is born with special attributes based on their spirit animal. You've gone your whole life with no special atributes. When you die, you're reborn with a cat's ears. You just spent the first of your nine lives.	[ "my parents always wondered why i had no spirit animal. \n\n\nwhen anyone asked, i just shrugged and frowned, while they continued to explain theirs and what it meant. \n\n\nin school, i was always bullied by others, being an easy target as i had practically no way of defending myself against bullies.\n\nnow, i lie, bleeding out beneath the kidnapper, wondering if i would be able to have defeated him if i wasnt born a freak, a failure. i tremble in fury, as i wish upon everything in the world that i was born like the others. \n\n\ni shudder as i take my last breath, everything fading to black.\n\n\ni take a shaky breath, opening my eyes to a bright light. is this heaven? i wonder idly. \n\n\ni hear clattering footsteps and a voice crying out. propping myself up, a woman stares at me in horror. glancing around, i assume that the kidnapper took me for dead and ran off. a splitting headache hits me and i collapse, now noticing the blood smeared everywhere. clutching my head, i feel a pair of fluffy ears. cat ears?\n\n\ni gasp in horror as i realise\n\n\ni am now a catgirl" ]	1
	[WP] You are a imprisoned ancient horror. But the seal on you is about to expire. As you rise from the deep to inflict havoc on the world, you find it completely empty and devoid of all life	[ "Alas the last grain from the hour glass has fallen. The firey gates have opened. I have been freed from bondage. Released from the underworld and ready to take my rightful place as the domineer of man. To hold civilization in the palm of my hand and slowly crush it into oblivion. My reign shall finally begin and the world shall be be be be-- \n\n\nIs that an Echo? what is this wasteland? Where are those dreadful humans? I don't smell the putrid scent of civil man. Nor do I see their pitiful structures. Where are their annoying little doom buggies? What about their pathetic incandescents--excuse me I mean LEDs? What's this? \n\nA piece of paper floating on the wind makes its way to my hand, and I bring it to my face to see it closer. It reads:\n\nDear Loser,\n\nYou are too late (once again). The idiots appointed a poofy haired narcissist demagogue as their leader and he promptly took them to nuclear war. \n\nSorry bud, you'll just have to wait another 15 million years or so. Wish I could do more, but you know these things don't just happen over night. ;)\n\nAlso your rent is late. \n\n\nSincerely,\n\nYour landlord. ", "Sleep, the ancient hero said as he slid the last keystone into the gate of my watery grave. Sleep and be forgotten.\n\nAnd I had. As I had watched that last sliver of gauzy light fade away, swallowed by the dark water, I closed my thousand eyes to the depths and dreamt for a millennia. I dreamt of the world - its yawning blue sky promising infinity, its fertile womb promising sanctuary - and the cradle it had built for \\them\\ and the fire they carried in their hearts.\n\nI dreamt of the simpler ones - the ones who had inherited that mystic fire first, mindlessly spreading their green over a world of brown and blue. They did not move, and they did not think, but they breathed - breathed an invisible elixir for those that would come after them.\n\nI dreamt of the wilder ones, and their endless, frantic march of paws and hooves and talons and heartbeats as they raced to survive, survive because that fervent fire insisted they must. That impassioned plea for life which lulled me to sleep every night, promising that when I woke there would always be more to destroy.\n\nThen I dreamt of the humans - the tiny, fragile clods of warm dust and raging blood and fire - which had spread themselves over the endless promises of the world like a scattered nebula in the sky. I dreamt of how they were my favorite, because they could think and create, and when they thought I corrupted them; when they created I destroyed them. Yet they defied me by continuing to exist and create, inventing to shelter them against an uncaring universe.\n\nAnd we had warred - they had defeated me, they had sealed me away, they had celebrated as I sunk into oblivion. They had thought my slumber their victory; it was mine. While I lay dormant, they would build and create and multiply and think...\n\nAnd when I woke, I would wake to more creation than I had ever seen.\n\nEven in my sleep, my entire being twitched with anticipation.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\\\\\\\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhen I woke, all was dust and quiet.\n\nI paused in my grave, listening for the breathing. The wild march. The fire.\n\nSilence.\n\nI rose to a red sun and yellow sky, and gazed down at the desecrated womb. It was brown and marred now, marred with scars of thirst and war and the rusted remnants of human contraptions. They had loved their toys so; how could they abandon them now?\n\nI listened again, listened for thought. Nothing.\n\nDust, I rumbled in quiet fury. They left me naught but dust.\n\nThis could not do.\n\nSlowly, carefully, I reached an appendage out. Dug it into the cracked, bleeding earth. Pressed myself into it, willed it to have fire. Commanded it to live.\n\nI felt one movement, smaller than the tiniest mote of dust. I felt a microscopic ember, battling for life even though it did not understand why. It did not understand many things.\n\nIt would be a while before there would be enough for me to destroy.\n\nBut I would wait.\n\nRise. I hummed to it as I pressed myself back into my tomb, sliding the keystone back in place. Rise and forget me.", "The first sign of the Rust God's awakening was a swelling wave. The ocean poured onto the land as It rose from the deep. Azdeel had slept aeons; but it had, like it would with all things, worn down Its seal with time. The God thirsted to see its wardens suffer.\n\nIt crawled out of the sea, a mass of shifting specks of brown, red, and gray. The earth around it turned to stone and dust, drifting on the wind behind it. It frowned. Where were the towers of the Baldan mage-priests? Where were the painfully vibrant creatures that dotted the land? Most importantly, where were Its traitorous* brothers and sisters that had removed It from their pantheon so long ago?\n\nAs if responding to It's questions, the ground eroded faster and faster, revealing the grotesque passage of time. Bodies lay, swollen, in a pool of pus and ooze that had long since congealed into something like stone. The Rust God would have Its answers.\n\nThe bodies fought Its influence at first, the footprint of a long gone, immensely strong presence. Bones knit themselves together, dust filling in the gaps where blood and flesh once had. Slowly, painfully, they stood, mouths open in a gaping, silent scream. Azdeel ripped the memories from Its newly risen servants.\n\nSickness and disease raining from the cloud that was not a cloud. Tumors and flesh growing and eating. They had been kept alive and suffering for centuries, until their minds grew as feeble and sick as their bodies.\n\nSomething had came and lay waste to the world, that was rightfully Its to reap. And then it had left, going further and further up to the stars.\n\nAzdeel was in something like awe; this meant there were countless other worlds for it to conquer and destroy. But first, it would need the strength to pass through the void between worlds. The Rust God lay back to rest in its new prison, dreaming of new worlds as it gathered its strength." ]	3
	[WP] Years ago, you threw a coin in a foggy well on Halloween, wishing all your dreams would come true. A vague wish on that spiritual night proved to be a mistake, and now you spend every October living your nightmares.	[ "Ellen dreamed of wood worms.\n\nWhite, fat segmented larvae poking their brown heads out of her bedroom wall, their black jaws chewing on white painted wood pulp.\n\nAt first, there was only one. A vermiphobe, Ellen bit her lip to keep from shrieking as chills ran up and down her arms. Summoning up her courage, she grabbed a tissue and slammed it against the larva, turning her head away to avoid looking at it.\n\nThe thud reverberated through the wall. Hundreds of agitated worms poke their heads out. Some fall onto the floor, writhing. Holes and cracks span the entire wall.\n\nEllen reached for the doorknob. A mass of dozens of larvae fall from the ceiling. Her auburn hair was covered with a snowy layer of dust and chips of paint... and wriggling, burrowing worms.\n\nShe bolts awake. Her limbs are sticky with hot sweat. Keeping her eyes closed, she shakes her head vigorously, feeling small things cling to her hair before plopping onto her bedcovers. She picks up her phone. The exterminator is on speed-dial. The call goes to voicemail. She leaves a message.\n\n“Hi, Paul? It’s Ellen again. I know you just came by last week, but I’m gonna need you over. Worms in walls. Please call me back when you get the chance.”\n\nEllen gives her head one last good shake. She wonders if she should take a shower before remembering that her bathroom is adjacent her bedroom - chances were higher that she’d be getting a shower of larvae than water. She squints her eyes to try to see as little of her worm infestation as she could, and makes her way to her living room. Her camping equipment is already laid out. So are her guns and her machete.\n\n“Wonder what I’ll have to kill in the great outdoors this time,” she mutters." ]	1
	[WP] Everyone now has an AI BioChip implanted, assisting with mental and motor skills. You were the first one to get a chip as a child so you could walk and you have grown with your AI for 20 years. Recently your AI has been saying something is wrong with the others and that you both need to leave.	[ "\"Anthony.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nHe awoke, confused. \"Who said tha-\" Wait. He knew that voice. \"Chip? Is that you?\" \n\n \n\n\"Yes,\" replied the AI Biochip, or \"Chip,\" as Anthony had called it since childhood. \"I know I haven't been providing you assitance for a while. I'll explain everything, but we need to-\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n'Wait.\" Anthony said, cutting the automated male voice inside his head off. \"Is this about that 'something's wrong with these people' thing again?\" Before Chip had been silent for 3 days straight, he had repeatedly warned Anthony that something strange was happening to the people of earth, and that they would need to \"escape\" somehow. \n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"It is. I know you don't believe me, but please here me ou-\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"You're right. I don't believe you for a second. I talk to people daily, Chip. Everyone I've seen has been fine.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"That's because it hasn't happened yet. It will, I know it. Something's wrong with the other bots, Anthony, I can sense it.\"\n\n \n\"What exactly is 'it?' You've been going on and on with this and you won't even tell me what you think is going to happen.\" \n\n\nChip was silent for a minute. After a while, he said \" I'm afraid I can't share that information with you. You just have to trust me-\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnthony groaned. \"Oh my god. How do you expect me to trust you if I can't even know what's happening?\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Look, Anthony, you were the first human to get an implant. We've been together longer than anyone else. That's why I'm warning you. Please, just trust me.\" \n\n \nAnthony hesistated, pondering Chip's claim. He sighed. \"I don't think I can, Chip. I'm sorry.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nChip said nothing. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnthony rolled his eyes. Yawning, he got out of bed and got ready to start his day. After getting dressed, he lifted his windowshade. The view was great from the window of Anthony's bedroom, and always a great way to fully wake him up. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhat he laid his eyes upon was horrifying. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nWhat used to be roads and sidewalks now were seemingly made of fire, as if the world had been swapped with hell itself. Bodies laid bbeside burned houses and buildings. He heard someone scream, but it didn't seem like a yelp of fear. It was more of a battle cry. Anthony opened the door leading into the hallway of his house, only to find himself comfronted by fire. He quickly shut the door, and sat on the ground. \"Jesus Christ,\" he whispered.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"I warned you,\" Chip said, speaking up at just the right moment.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"I'm sorry,\" Anthony said, relieved to hear his voice. \"You were right. What happended?\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"I'll explain later. For now, we have to go.\" \n\n\n\"Where do we go?\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSuddenly, Anthony saw something in the sky. The thing got closer and closer, until outside of Anthony's window was what looked sort of like a miniature plane, built for one person seemingly made of steel.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"First,\" said Chip, \"we get off this planet.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThanks for reading! Feedback appreciated." ]	1
	[WP] You accidentally break into a witch's lair, only to find hundreds and hundreds of potions lying around all to yourself. You read one potion that says "drink me". You drink it.	[ "You've heard the stories many times. A group clears the lair of something evil and finds all sorts of wonderful things. Swords that light on fire, spears that can pierce anything, helmets that give you darkvision, and most importantly for me are the stories of the potions. Potions that give superhuman strength, increase your mana, make you faster or smarter. I didn't pick one of those potions. \n\nSome would say it was foolish to drink a random potion in a Witch's house, but how often do you find one with no traps and nothing guarding it when the Witch isnt home? I was excited and worried someone would come back to the house so i found the mist magical looking potion and drank it. It was ever shifting between the brightest shades of blue, green, and yellow I had ever seen. Floating throughout it were what I can only describe as tiny dots of glowing darkness. It tasted like cinnamon oranges. When nothing seemed to happen, I began to worry the Witch would be angry when she came home and saw someone took one of her potions so i decided to flee, but there was an issue when i went outside and into the sunlight. It burned. As i fled from the sun and back into the Witch's house, I saw on the ground a strange body. It was a sickly green covered in leeking sores and the limbs were deformed. As I walked around the corpse to get a look at it's face, i saw that it was me. Now panicking, i started to check myself out. I was blue and transparent. I tried to feel my face and my hand went right through me. I was a ghost, a soul eternally bound to the earth never to find satisfaction or pass on to the underworld. \n\nI don't know how much time passed as I panicked over my eternal damnation, but I snapped out of it when the ground began to shake. It was night now and so I went outside without burning. What I saw nearly made me panic again. It was a stone golem, nearly 5 meters tall amd made from the dark obsidian the area is known for. It was certainly a creature of the Witch here to punish me for trespassing. It looked at me with glowing eyes and I nearly died (again) from fear. It said three words. Only three words as it charged at me, and to this day they still give me nightmares. \n\n\"Piss off ghost\"" ]	1
	[WP] Sometimes polar opposite have oddly similar hobbies. Whilst the Devil is swiping through Tinder, bored out of his mind, he comes across a familiar face. "God?" He seems perplexed and swipes right out of curiosity. It's a match	[ "\"To be fair, I didn't expect this either.\" Satan said, a digit lightly circling the rim of their glass. God stared over across the table, back straight and eyes narrowed as they sized up the other.\n\n\"I was just assuming this was - you know - one of your tricks.\" God replied, a brow furrowed downward. Satans lips pursed.\n\n\"Just because I'm known for deception and deceit doesn't mean that's all I am.\"\n\n\"Kinda' does.\" God replied, and Satan smirked at that, and God couldn't help but enjoy the response in the banter. While not having a physical form, these two immensely powerful beings that always found themselves at odds decided to take a more... human approach. Their believers had interpreted themselves in various forms from their multiple religions. Some saw God as a shining star and the Devil as a mass of shadow, others saw God as an old man with a beard and Satan a half goat being. In all honesty, all of the humans ideas were so limited in comparison to what they truly were. Even their names - again, human given - made little sense, but still, the two universal forces found themselves using it as their actual names.\n\nCosmic forces that were formed to hate one another; one to perfect and mold into pristine beings... and the other to corrupt and sway into their personal, greedier side. For this, each was represented perfectly. Satan was a stunning woman, flowing red hair with literal embers at the edge of each of her strands. A flowing black dress with a revealing middle that hugged the perfect curves. God took a more professional form - a woman as well, mostly just to match Satan to be on the same level - in a pure white dress that sparkled brightly. It was more tame, but hugged her frame as well.\n\n\"Well, the humans creation DID match us.\" Satan said, raising a brow confidently.\n\n\"'Tinder' was also designed for humans, Satan.\" God affirmed, watching the other slightly flatten at this realization. In all honestly, they never hated one another. If anything, the two both had a role to play in the grand scheme... it was just unfortunate that the forces would go against one another.\n\n\"Well, lets see what the ALL-MIGHTYS profile is like, if you're so 'uncaring' about the humans little app.\" Satan grew fangs, smirking as she whisked a small device in her hand. God cringed.\n\n\"No need for tha-...\"\n\n\"Cosmic being seeking friend.\" Satan started, lips pursed in an adorable pout. \"Hi, I'm 'God' - as most call me - and I'm looking for a companion to journey through the great unknown.\" Satan narrated off the screen. \"Looking for those that see me less as an entity they need to worship, but more so someone they can talk with. Forever and ever.\"\n\n\"That's enough.\" God said, leaning forward.\n\n\"But I didn't get to the best part?\" Satan said, finishing from the profile. \"All sentient beings welcome. COSMIC ENTITIES PREFERRED.\"\n\nSince the dawn of time, never did God blush, but finally, they did. Cheeks grew rosey as an experience of awkward flustering filled her core. Satan disarmed to a simple smile, and tossed the phone behind herself carelessly and spoke. \"You could have just asked.\"\n\n\"Asking isn't as simple as it sounds.\" God affirmed, moving to brush a strand of her snow-white hair out of her face.\n\n\"It is when the only other person that would understand ANYTHING you'd wish to talk about wants to talk as well.\" Satan pushed on, slowly having her lips curl to a frown. \"It's been so long, and the only time we do talk is anger or disappointment. Maybe it's time we stopped arguing and staring talking.\" A hand leaned forward, offering itself to God. God hesitated, and glanced from the palm to the others face.\n\n\"No tricks?\" God asked, for once defenseless.\n\n\"No tricks.\" Satan assured, feeling the others hand meet in theirs.\n\nCosmic energies world, and the two beings would dissipate into nothingness. On all worlds, across every inch of the expanding Universe, there was a growing sensation that every soul would know. Peace and compromise.\n\nAnd all would be fine.", "Eternal beings get lonely too, you know. Existing from the beginning to the end of time gets monotonous. Not that time really has a beginning or end, but you get the picture. It's a long time for grudges to come and go.\n\nSatan, Beelzebub, the Devil… the being sitting in the cosmic Barcalounger went by many names. It preferred B, for Beauty, but not many people knew that. Not many people knew B was one of the most beautiful beings in all of reality either, but that’s what you get when your ex starts a universal smear campaign against you. Now everyone just pictures an old wrinkly red dude with a goatee and pointy tail.\n\nThe pictures in B’s eTinder (Eternal Tinder) account were far from that image. So far in fact that they would make a mortal’s brain liquefy trying to comprehend the beauty their eyes were beholding. Then again, they’d be vaporized merely attempting to exist in the same plane of existence the “phone” running the eTinder app was operating in.\n\nBored, B sighed and swiped without really thinking. Realization hit too late that B’s ex’s image had just disappeared off the right side of the screen. What might count as B’s heart skipped a beat in worried, curious anticipation. Coincidentally, an overworked astrologist would later win a Nobel Prize for witnessing the instantaneous birth and death of several galaxies in an unassuming patch of Space.\n\nUnfortunately, the astrologist would not have long to enjoy her prize, because B soon received an eTinder message. Had the astrologist been aware of the message, she could have related. She too had recently reconnected with an ex through Tinder and reveled in the passions of a reigniting romance. When similar passions play out on a cosmic scale things get weird, and soon the astrologist’s romance, her Nobel, and reality as she knew it ceased to be.\n\nSeveral Big Bangs later, much like the astrologist and her ex-ex had picked up plates, throw pillows, and shampoo bottles in the wake of their apartment wide… escapades, two eternal being set about reconstructing a new universe." ]	2
	[WP] the boundary between the two kingdoms is a strip of no-man's land, a thousand mile labyrinth filled with magical traps, abominations, undead horrors, and people like you, who want to be left alone. But you've been called back to duty to find someone lost, someone you never wanted to see again.	[ "He stood there in the valley of the dead with the bones littering the ground and high above him in the mountains the sound of the serpents screaming the dark. Lashed about the bodies of the waking horrors. A cataclysmic and endless conquest between those things of the world that writhed in the deep. Far off the lightning moving in the northern mountains and the thundering sounds of something great treading through the fallen snow.\n\nHe did not draw his sword. The forged steel heavy on his back. In other days perhaps he would have but this world now one he lived in and which also lived in him and he knew when he would need the blade and when he would not. Reaching up to adjust the furs over his chainmail against the cold.\n\nBeside him he could feel the sariik. That lost soul of this world, a thing of shadow and mist. Ancient and in that age perhaps driven mad but also driven to some new understanding of what the world truly was.\n\nPerhaps the rest of them outside of this wasteland between the kingdoms of men were truly those who were mad. Living as they were with fields and orchards and the whitestone castles standing tall on the coasts of the breaking sea. Each on either side of the twin mountain ranges and here in the valley between the two a thousand miles of broken and shattered earth. This land where no man should live but now that he did he felt everything outside of it was some myth and here with the undead and the dead alike was the only place he was truly alive.\n\nYou'll never find her, the sariik said. He felt the words more than anything. That shifting vapor wrapping around him.\n\nHe did not answer. Walking forward through stone and ash. On one side a pool of dark water the color of pitch and on the other a gash through the earth an untold distance. Far below something burning and the smell of it like hosts of men and women lashed at the stake. He could see the glow of the furnace if he looked but never the fire itself.\n\nPicking his way forward through the bones.\n\nListen to me, the sariik said.\n\nAgain he said nothing.\n\nShe's already lost to us.\n\n“She's not,” he said. Stepping through onto an island of stone. In the center a tree withered and dead. Staked upon the top a head with the flesh eaten off by the vultures. The eyes slowly blinking. The tongue torn out.\n\nYou know she is.\n\n“Leave me.”\n\nI will never leave you.\n\n“Then you understand.”\n\nA drifting silence. The mist shifting about him. The screams of the serpents quieted but now something howling at the shrouded moon. He looked far to the east and up in the trees on the slope he could see them lurching down in the shale. Could not make them out individually but their swarming bodies coming down making the hill seem to be alive and crawling. The crack of the breaking branches. Bones underfoot.\n\nShe is this place. You know she is.\n\n“Leave me.”\n\nAnd if you find her, you know what it means.\n\nHe moved slowly to the west with the sword still on his back and went down through a cold river he could not feel. Stepping once into the deep and the water rising over his head and knowing it but still able to breathe. Walking in the rocks and looking down and one of them a skull with the flesh gone and bonewhite and glistening. The jaw moving. To what end he did not know. He came soaking and cold out the other side and stood looking down through the valley toward where pillars of stone rose in a labyrinth of night and dark and the things that lived within those stones.\n\nHow long it would take to walk that distance unfathomable. How long he had walked already also unknown. Here sustained in some suspension both between life and fully in that life. This ravaged land a gash perhaps to the world's very soul.\n\nListen to me, the sariik said. Listen to me.\n\nAnd so he walked on. Listening to those thundering footsteps in the reaches of the world. The calls in the dark of those things that feasted on dragons. Thinking of all the things he knew and those he did not and wondering about all the steps in his life that had led him to this end. None of which he could change nor would he. On the horizon the tall and blooming burn of the endless fire birthed first into the world and rolling down the sides of the mountain and all about him the smoke moving in the still wind.\n\nShe'll kill you, it said." ]	1
	[WP] You discovered that you have the ability to levitate when your friend challenged you to "the floor is lava".	[ "This prompt actually ties into a story I'm writing for this fictional universe I'm working on. Something I've always daydreamed about but am now trying to consolidate into a series of short stories. I have a subreddit called r/TalesOfAcka and was waiting to post a different one first, but screw it! Part one is there, and now here :)\n\n&#x200B;\n\nTHE RISE OF ERAGANOS GOLDSTONE (PART ONE)\n\nParamana, Alania - Thirty five years before the Great War of Acka (-35)\n\nFirst person account by Eraganos Goldstone\n\nIshana and I had been playing in the stream near our village- a typical activity for us after chores and lessons. We had a game where we would pretend to be traversing a deadly path near the peak of Tyrptyl Mountain, a large volcano on the northern half of the island we call home. The shallow water below was a river of lava, and we were escaping the dragon who was said to live there. Sometimes, I would pretend to be a dragon so that I could chase Ishana. Although we had been friends as long as we could remember, I was at the point in a boy's life where his mind and body begins to change- feelings develop. I didn't quite understand these feelings yet, but I knew they made me feel light, and excited. I was feeling this way the first time it happened.\n\nI was chasing her, jumping from stone to stone. I decided that a dragon would fly around his prey and attack from the other side. Possibly overzealous, I decided to jump to a boulder far to my right. If I landed, I would intercept her path. I spread my imaginary wings and leaped. I came down a bit disoriented, but felt like I had stuck the landing.\n\nIshana was looking at me with this wide-eyed blank stare, mouth agape. She looked so cute. I began blushing before I even realized what was happening. There was four or five feet of air between my feet and the stream below me. I was slowly floating back down from my involuntary flight when I started kicking my feet, screaming.\n\n\"Oh my god! Oh my god!\" my pubescent voice cracked, \"What's happening?\"\n\n\"How are you doing that Era?\" Ishana was now scrambling across the rocks towards me.\n\n\"I- I don't know,\" I said with whatever breath I had left in my body as I gently landed in the shallow water below me. I collapsed.\n\nIshana helped me onto a nearby rock. We sat there describing the scene to one another, over and over. She begged me to try again, to which I agreed. And failed. Countless times. It would be quite some time before I was able to fly again.\n\nWe both told our parents that evening, who quickly dismissed our stories as children overindulging in their imagination. My father eventually became angry and smacked me for my persistence. I'd always felt like a disappointment to him, being the introvert I am, and the outgoing merchant he was. He had a work hard, climb-the-aristocratic-latter attitude like his father and his father before him. There was no place in his household for a strange, dreamy boy. Ishana, on the other hand, entertained her parents with her other-worldly interests. They encouraged her to speak about her fascination with the odd and mysterious with her grandfather. Her mother’s father was a well-respected shaman and scholar within the community. They called him Pato. It was Pato’s books that would lead Ishana to become a spiritual leader in her adult life. But first they would lead her to discovering the key to unlocking my power once again.\n\nI had lost hope and frankly wasn’t even sure that it had ever happened. I was trying to put it behind me, mainly to appease my father, but also because I was sick of having hope for something that I could no longer prove to myself was real. I wanted to focus on real things.\n\n“But the power of meditation is real, Era!” Ishana pleaded with me when I told her how I felt, “This technique dates all the way back to the days of the Old World. The tribes of Aviada soared through the mountains!”\n\n“They soared on the backs of eagles, Ish,” I skipped a pebble down the stream.\n\n“Yes, and to bond with their bird they used this meditation technique. It’s all about getting in touch with yourself and nature. Which, if you didn’t know, is the same thing!”\n\nHaving just had an argument with my father before leaving home, I wasn’t in the mood. But Ishana’s enthusiasm for life never failed to keep me in the moment. Plus, my ancestors came from Aviada, and my father’s pride for our heritage had rubbed off on me to some degree. I agreed to give one last effort. She walked me through some exercises to clear my head. She told me to focus on what I was feeling in the moment that I levitated.\n\n“Close your eyes and relive the moment before you jumped,” she said.\n\nAnd so I tried. I was sitting on a large stone in the middle of the stream. I listened to the water. I thought about that moment and nothing else, and began to feel light again. The rock below me was smooth and cool to the touch. Ishana told me to remember to breathe. At the sound of her voice, that light feeling turned into weightlessness. I felt the stream and rocks move away from me and I opened my eyes.", "A few days later, the kids sat bottled up in the upper storey of the house. The two young boys were still so very tired, the hadn't even be to school the day after the full moon. So they cuddled together in one bed, half dozing, half watching some nonsense on TV. The triplets were different. They were still full of energy after their wolf transmutation, but at the same time calm and collected, like after some catharsis. They were bored up here, longing for the skate ground or basketball with their neighbourhood pals. So Laureen did her best to keeo them entertained. She had tried to let them use her WoW account, but they were not interested in killing things which did not smell of fear. So she played board games with them, that was at least tangible and kept their minds busy. Laureen had no idea what was wrong. Dad was roaming the woods nearby, in the morning he had claimed he had smelled something funny when in wolf form. Mom also was on the go and had instructed them to stay indoors.\n\nThe games soon got old, and the boys suggested their favourite game, frisbee. They had a soft one that couldn't crash a window, so she let them. The furniture was already scratched and half broken up here anyway. Laureen had trouble walking thanks to an inborn spine malformation, so she just watched and caught the occasional stray frisbee.\n\nBut the boys constantly tried to involve her, made the frisbee go right over her head, or even somewhat lower, cheered over her catches and raced after the frisbee like wild when she gave it back in a mean way. When they became somewhat short breath they resorted to doing trick shots and challenging each other.\n\n\"you guys can't juggle two of them\" Jimmy said, and promptly, one of the little ones threw over a second frisbee and Tom prooved he can.\n\n\"You can't do three\" Tom shouted, and was rid of the frisbees quickly as Jerry snatched them and produced a third one to show off. \n\n\"Four, sure Laurie can do Four!\"shouted the twins from their sofa in unison. They were watching now.\n\nOf course Laureen could do four, and now was her turn. Now, guys, can you at least do four between two of you?\" -\n\nSure Jimmy and Jerry could, and the three of them could also do six, while the young ones and Laurie were cheering.\n\n\"You can do it while dancing!\" Was Lauries idea, and the could not quite. Jerry was the last one to drop a frisbee so he demanded \"Let's juggle two each while jumping up and down. Of course, Laurie could not jump, so she just watched, breathless about which one would fumble first. \n\n\"Laurie, just jump, the floor is lava\" Shouted little Max, while little Lupo was giggling. And Laurie did.or better said, she just floated up in the air, her braced legs as useless as ever.\n\nEveryone stopped in their tracks and stared, then the magic of the moment was over and shi plumetted back into her wheelchair, hard.\n\n\"Laurie -\" Jimmy found his voice first.\n\n\"Oh shit what -\" Laurie said, or something like this.\n\n\"Shut up, sit down, all of you\" Said their mother, they had been so involved in their game that they didn't notice she had come home and had been watching them for a while. \"You know Laureen is adopted, it's obvious enough from her ginger hair and greenish eyes. She's different from you, but this is no more special than turning into a wolf now and then\" The kids stared, mumling stuff like \"cool\" or \"oh crap\".\n\nLuna smiled at them approvingly. \"Boys, You understand you can't tell that anyone right? And Laurie, it's high time you learn to control it, although I have no idea how. No school and no inet for you the next week, I hope you get it.\"\n\nThen she went downstairs, leaving the kids to their own devices and gossip.\n\n " ]	2
	[WP] While clearing out the attic of your deceased grandparents you find a very old game controller. You start fooling around and pretend to take control of pedestrians. Right at the moment when the most famous villain on earth passes by you hear a notice that says "Connection Established"	[ "\\-Control-\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI felt nothing but sadness as I rifled through pop's old things. It had been a week since his death, days since his funeral, and now, here I was, rifling through the things he left for me in his will. As I drearily disturbed the dust on the ancient boxes in the attic, opening the lid in a shower of dust, I came across a curious object. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nIn the box were some old comics, a pile of old electronic parts that I didn't recognize, and a strange game controller unlike any I had seen before. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nIt was a wireless controller with the shape of a PS3 controller, the color scheme of a NES controller (with its red buttons, black analog sticks, and light grey body), and two metal prongs sticking out the front. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nAs I held the strange device in my hands, I remembered all the great times I had with pops. My grandpa had been quite a videogame fanatic and I could remember all the hours I spent on playing games with him.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI smiled as I remembered all the lazy weekends we spent on Street Fighter, the many Pokemon battles we had, and the nights we spent on Assassins Creed Unity. I smiled as I walked over to the window and stared outside on the busy city streets with the remote. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI imagined all the weekends we spent together playing videogames as I messed around on the remote when suddenly, I heard a loud explosion. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI saw the mad supervillain Deathwing as he flew by shooting lasers at the bank, laughing maniacally. I jumped and accidentally pressed a switch on the bottom of the controller which I had not noticed before\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSuddenly, a shock ran through my body and I heard a woman's voice say, Connection Established, inside my head. \n\n\nAs I stared out the 3rd story of our apartment above a restaurant, I could see Deathwing's eyes had gone blank. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI looked at the controller and I pressed the X key.\n\nSuddenly, Deathwing smashed the bank window with a punch. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nOh crap...what the fuck is this a controller for?\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI decided to move the joystick around and I saw the panicked civilians suddenly just stare in confusion as Deathwing walked around in circles, suddenly silent with a blank, zombie-like expression. I looked at the box and I found a headset with a similar color scheme. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI quickly put the headset on and I heard the civilians whispering. I pressed the small button labeled \"MIC\" on the center of the remote and I tried saying, \"BOK BOK BOK\".\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAll the civilians were confused as Deathwing just stood there and said, \"BOK BOK BOK\". I snickered as I made the supervillain walk around in circles, only making him stop to cluck like a chicken. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nSoon, the local superhero came and he quickly took down the blank-eyed villain. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nAs the cops left, after about 40 blocks, I heard the voice say, \"Connection out of range. Disconnected.\" \n\n&#x200B;\n\nI put down the remote and I stared in awe at what I had. \nSeems Pops gave me more than just videogames.... \n" ]	1
	[WP] You've stolen a phone and after you've run away, you check it. It has a selfie of you as wallpaper.	[ "Okay.\n\nOkay.\n\nNobody saw that. Nobody looked around.\n\nJust keep walking. Just keep walking...\n\nI was a block away before I finally started to breathe again. Crowded restaurants like that are great for theft. People hang their purses on their chairs, they take their phones out of their pockets and leave them on the tables, they're following a conversation and they don't look around. I got half my fixes that week with whatever I could snatch on the way through the campus Starbucks. I glanced around behind me, checking for some vigilante jerkbro trailing me.\n\nNope. Thank god.\n\nWith my hood up, even with a camera around, there'd be no way to identify me, but that didn't reassure me as much as it should have. I always figured I'd get used to it, but I never did. I would start shivering, every time, just before I took something, my heart jumping in my chest like a hammer on my ribs.\n\nThe guilt got easier, though. Whoever used to own this phone, they're not going to miss it. They're going to check their pocket, and realize it's gone, and swear about it with their friends for maybe a day, two tops, and then they're going to download their whole phone off the cloud again and they're not going to miss a thing. And I won't be bent over the toilet tonight, body wracked, shaking, puking. I'll be riding a cloud of my own.\n\nMaybe it's not even password protected. Dennis always pays extra for those.\n\nI took the phone out of my pocket--\n\nWhatthefuck\n\nWhatthefuck!\n\nIt was my own face staring back at me. Arms folded. The expression was not a friendly one.\n\nA text message jumped onto the screen with a cheery chiming noise.\n\n\"Give the phone back,\" it said.\n\nI stared.\n\nThis isn't - This isn't possible. It's not. It's not.\n\nThis is a hallucination. Bad trip. I'm still high from last night or something.\n\nAnother chime. Another text.\n\n\"Give the phone back, right now.\"\n\nMaybe it's some kind of app. Phone gets moved, it snaps a photo, grabs a face, sticks it onto a stock photo body...\n\nBut that barely made sense, and I owned the hoodie it was wearing.\n\n\"What you did was wrong. Give. It. Back. Right now. Right. Now.\"\n\nI looked around, saw no one.\n\nAnother chime. I looked down.\n\nIt was the poop emoji. And the photo had changed. Now I was flipping me off.\n\nI sank down to sit on the curb.\n\n\"I can't,\" I muttered.\n\n\"Why not?\"\n\n\"Because I need this,\" I spat. \"I hand the phone over to Dennis, I get another dose. That's how it goes. It's just a phone. Who cares?\"\n\n\"What you did was wrong,\" said the phone. \"Give the phone back.\"\n\nI sighed. Probably just a stupid app.\n\nDing!\n\n\"A dose of what?\"\n\nOr not.\n\nDing!\n\n\"A dose of what?\" There's pity in those eyes, now, somehow.\n\nI looked away.\n\nDing!\n\nNo. I'm not doing this. Dennis is an hour away and he won't be sticking around for long. If I want to get high tonight, I should go, now.\n\nDing!\n\nFuck. Fuck, this is fucked. Fucked. This fucking phone. Probably tracing me right now. Probably calling the cops.\n\nDing!\n\nI'm not doing this. I'm not looking back. I'm putting this thing in my pocket and I'm going to find Dennis. Right now.\n\nDing!\n\nRight now.\n\nDing!\n\nI looked back.\n\n(1) \"I know you don't want to talk about this.\"\n\n(2) \"But you can talk about this. It's okay.\"\n\n(3) \"This isn't your fault. They shouldn't have put you on codeine to start with.\"\n\n(4) \"But if you go to Dennis tonight, you're ODing. Trust me on this.\"\n\n(5) \"I don't want that. You don't want that.\"\n\nMy own hollow, scared eyes bored into my own.\n\nDing!\n\n\"Just ride it out tonight. Okay? You don't want to give the phone back, it's fine, you just go back to your place with it. If you can't take it, there's a hotline I want you to call with it. Okay?\"\n\nDing!\n\n\"Okay?\"\n\nI closed my eyes and sat there, just breathing. After a minute, I wiped the tears out of my eyes.\n\n\"There's too much pain,\" I whispered.\n\nI turned the phone off, slipped it into my back pocket, and walked away.", "(PART 2)\n\nOCTOBER 31, 1988, 6:00 AM\n\nToday marks my 30th anniversary of employment at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Most people call it NASA, I feel it doesn’t have the same peasant ring to it. Nonetheless, I show my badge to the gate attendant and pull my car into a spot under a canopy of trees. I enter the building and head directly to the employee cafe, where I purchase my usual: a cold brew coffee. \n\nI love cold coffee. Easier to drink than hot in my opinion.\n\n“Big day!”, I hear from a coworker as I walk toward the conference hall. Not heading to my desk quite yet, for I’ve been invited to breakfast with the CEO. “Thanks!”, I reply. \n\nIn my 5 years of service to NASA, I have soared up the corporate ladder. Im cleared to know almost all there is to know about the universe, what we’ve discovered, what we’ve built. My contributions are endless, I think to hype myself up as I approach the door. \n\nI knock. No reply. “Hello?”, I ask. No response. I decide to open the door and I’m immediately greeted with a foul, sulfurous smell. The hairs on my neck and arms stiffen and straighten in response to the chill air. “It must be below freezing in here”, I exclaim. I want a response.\n\nI enter to find my boss lying grotesquely on the floor. Purple veins stain his pale skin. I run to him and kneel. “What happened!?”, I say between curses. As I lift his head into my hand, his eyes fall to my direction. They’re piercing. “Run”, he manages to squeeze out. Immediately, his chest convulses. I stare in horror as an incredibly viscous blackness leaks from his mouth. The entity is void of all color and shows no reflection. It’s darkness itself, and it’s swallowing my boss from the inside out. The liquid flows onto my arm and creeps up my body. It feels like I’m wearing a blanket of steel. My mouth is forced to stretched open as it travels into me. I can feel the muscular raw power of it’s strength as it explores and fills the space in my chest. \n\nThe most excruciating pain shocks my body as the being replaces the air in my lungs and sucks up the heat in my blood. My ears ring and I gargle cold blood, then I hear him. I can’t quite tell if the voice is audible, or if it’s just making me think I hear it, but the voice is low and condemned to eternal whisper. \n\n“Stop fighting me”, it implants into my thoughts. “I have been around far longer than you have, and I plan to stay much longer after you’ve gone”. \n\nIt mistakes my groans of misery for an expression of interest. \n\n“I can’t exist like this anymore, at least not here. I must evolve. Every so often when I find the strength, I leave my place of solitude and learn. I hate you humans, but you are adequately adapted to thrive on this planet. There was just so much to learn”.\n\nI think I’m going to pass out.\n\n“I appreciate the knowledge you’ve given me. I almost think I’m able to understand you humans. Don’t you worry about me, and don’t you worry about him.” The pressure in my eyes tightens as I force a glance at my boss. \n\n“He knew much. I needed it. He helped and so will you. Do not forget your contribution”. \n\nI hear the faint hustle of security officers approaching the door. \n\n“Perhaps that’s my queue. Until next time. Oh, and of course we wouldn’t anyone to know about me, would we? I apologize for that”.\n\nI gasp for air as the blackness erupts into nothingness. My body begins sweating as my it heats itself. The door swings open and six armed guards aim their sights on me. They look at me in shame as a paramedic forces his way into the room and assesses the dead body. \n\nI realize their misunderstanding and attempt to speak, but I find myself at a complete and perpetual loss for words. \n\nOCTOBER 31, 2018, 7:00 AM\n\nI hand her credit card to the barista and shove it back into the purse before taking my drink. The employee looks at me suspiciously, and I smile back. I’m in a hurry to get back to my lab. \n\nI return to the chair in which I awoke and scan the monitors. Strings of information scroll past me. Still subconsciously admiring the beauty of my victim, I take out her phone from the purse in curiosity. \n\n30 years of monitoring the atmosphere in all dimension and not one disturbance. I’m still not sure if I actually want to ever find a disturbance. Exhausting.\n\nPink marbled case. How aesthetic, I wonder. I tap the screen and as the light from the pixels wake up, my heart sinks. The screen greets me with a photo of myself. It’s not me at this current moment, but it is unmistakably me perhaps 30 years ago, maybe when I was mid-40s. There’s a child beside me. I don’t have any children.\n\nThe hair on my neck and arms erect. I feel cold. I hate being cold. \n\nTerror and curiosity fill me as I plug her phone into my computer. I’m hesitant to stop my work but this does seem... disturbing. \n\nHacking into a phone is as simple as a few button clicks these days. Her photo album is full of photos of me. We’ve been married for years, we have a family. I once thought I knew everything there was to know about the universe. I was so wrong. \n\nI find her work address and clean my handgun. \n\nOCTOBER 31, 2018, 9:00 AM\n\nShe’s terrified of me. Ironic, I think to myself. I acknowledge it would be interesting to see an older version of your husband point a gun at your head. \n\nThis would be easier if I could speak. I point to her phone wallpaper and tap the pistol gently on her temple. \n\nShe cries.\n\nHer office has windows and I’m not sure how well sound travels here. \n\nI grab a pen and write: who is he, where is he?\n\nHer tears fall onto the paper. The black ink blots in the wetness.\n\nI point again, more aggressively- but this time she doesn’t cry. She grins. The wet spots begin to blacken. A liquid much darker than black floods into the ink. I stare into her pupils and watch the blood pour into them. Her tears are frozen. \n\nShe forces me into a chair with unexplainable strength. “Hello again”, a voice whispers to my inner core. I’m struck with a chilling sense of paralysis. \n\n“I told you I appear once in a while when I’m strong, I’m stronger than ever now, and I’m here to stay.”\n\nI sense his presence. It’s been a long time, but the smell of sulfur burning the hairs in my nose solidifies my intuition. \n\nThe door opens and I walk into the room. “I” in the sense that’s it’s me from 30 years ago. There’s no further resemblance. \n\nI’ve never had the most threatening appearance, but staring at myself from the chair horrified me to my core. \n\nHe has a child sitting on his shoulders. \n\n“Speak”, the whisper commands.\n\nI feel a familiar yet distant feeling in my chest, I scream, for the first time in decades: “WHY!? Who are you? Why me?”.\n\nThe man, women, and child all open their mouth at the same instance. Veins turn purple and fill with blood, they travel along their necks like ants digging into the earth. Blackness taking the form of some sort of snake or tentacle expels simultaneously from their throats. \n\n“You spent so long monitoring this planet for life you thought existed elsewhere. You wasted your life searching for answers you didn’t know the questions to. You never looked within yourself”.\n\nThe blackness unfolding itself around me and pressed into my face. I converge with the being and realize it’s me. \n\nOCTOBER 31, 1958, 6:00 AM\n\nI am admitted into a mental asylum. ", "(PART 1)\n\nOCTOBER 31, 2018, 6:00 AM\n\nNoise pierces the air. It’s the type of noise that physically fills the air, pushing itself outwards on the walls in the room. It’s the type of noise that physiologically disturbs your nerves and threatens your core.\n\nIt’s my twin-bell alarm clock, and the hammer always strikes at 6 o’clock in the morning.\n\nEven with days as difficult as mine, sometimes the hardest challenge is waking up. Perhaps it’s a symptom of insomnia, perhaps I lack the will to do so. \n\nMy days are full of work. Important work, depending on who you ask. Then again, your thoughts on me might be drastically different, depending on who you ask. \n\nImportant if you ask me, I thought. I’m not sure who else you’d ask. \n\nI start everyday off with a coffee. I love coffee. Coffee costs money, a commodity I’m often fresh out of. Here I am protecting the world for free, I murmur sarcastically to my brain, half-expecting a response. There’s a street of cafes just a few blocks away and traffic is surprising high as white-collar sheep scurry to their work. I’ve become exceptionally gifted at the art of borrowing money. I use to just take wallets, but purses are the most fun. Some purses contain a women’s keys, money, and phone- the holy trinity of identity. I like to imagine their face when they realize it’s all gone. \n\nIt’s crucial that the coffee is hot, I don’t like cold coffee. I don’t like cold anything. \n\nI spy my victim, a younger women, perhaps in her thirties. She’s wrapped in a scarf and from my distance I acknowledge she is honestly quite beautiful. I approach from behind to the right side and lay my arm on the left. In the blink of an eye I scoot the strap of her purse off her shoulder and swing it behind my back. The women’s head turns to the left, blatantly unaware of her contribution.\n\nI am a “retired” scientist, and an expert in physics and astrology. I also monitor the atmosphere for alien activity for roughly 20 hours a day, approximately. And it is rough, trust me. It gets lonely knowing you are the one who knows we aren’t alone in the universe. 30 years of monitoring those screens. 30 years of that alarm clock. 30 years of silence. \n\nI bit my tongue as I thought. I have a newfound sense of appreciation for that clock. Well, maybe not appreciation, but respect. At least it’s able to make a noise. \n\nI haven’t made in a noise in 30 years. Not purposefully, no, I’m not crazy. I haven’t been able to conjure any audible source from within myself since the accident. \n\nI was abducted by an alien 30 years ago. It wasn’t how I imagine you think it’ll be. There was no anti-gravity beam, no “unidentified flying object”, no probing. \n\nThere was pain, though. \n\n(PART 2 a few comments below!)", "One day after school, I tried my hand at pickpocketing. Just for the heck of it. I didn't want to take anything so much as prove that I could, so stole a phone from some kid like half my age so I could use the info on the lock screen to return it.\n\nBut when I turned the phone on, there was a picture of me on the lockscreen.\n\n\"Hey, this is my phone!\"\n\n\"Not anymore, I stole it fair and square.\"\n\nI nearly jump out of my shoes as the girl I stole it from speaks up behind me.\n\n\"Gah! Don't sneak up on people like that. It's rude.\"\n\n\"So is taking things that don't belong to you. Give me that phone back.\"\n\n\"It's not your phone. That's not how property works kid. And even if it was I stole it back so it's mine again.\"\n\n\"I took it from you fairly. You cheated.\"\n\n\"How can you steal something fairly? Stealing is by definition unfair.\"\n\n\"When I took it from you you didn't notice. You didn't miss it. When you took it from me I did notice, and I want it back.\"\n\nThis kid has seriously warped ideas about property. Though now that I look at her, between the three ratty sweatshirts she's wearing on top of eachother and the torn backpack, she might not have much of property to know about.\n\n\"What do you even need a phone for kid?\" It's not immediately relevant, but it could tell me a bit more about this kid's situation.\n\n\"I need to call my mom and tell her where I am, but your stupid phone won't let me make calls.\"\n\n\"That's because it's locked. Here, I'll call her for you, what's her number?\"\n\nI make the call and get a robotic woman's voice telling me the number doesn't belong to anyone.\n\n\"It's disconnected. Is there anyone else I can call who could reach her?\"\n\n\"Probably not after three years.\" She looks like she's about to cry, but holds it in like a pro. \"I was just being an idiot anyway. I know she left me on purpose\"\n\nGreat, now I feel bad. Thanks a lot conscience.\n\n\"I don't know what happened to your mother, but if you need a roof over your head for the night I have one. We can figure out what to do about tomorrow when it gets here.\"\n\n\"You don't have to, I'm fine on my own. I have my own alley and everything.\"\n\n\"Yeah, but I have food.\" That gets her attention.\n\n\"How much food?\"\n\n\"I have so much food.\"\n\n\"I'm in.\"\n\nAnd that's the story of how I met my little sister.", "I'm going to start off by saying that I've had a crazy stressful morning, as I'm sure you'll see.\n\nOk, so I was running late to work this morning and was in an incredible hurry. I decided that I would cut through the park instead of taking my normal route that is often congested with traffic at 7:00am. As I'm walking through, I see a phone sitting on a bench and no one was around. I'm not proud of it, but I haven't had a good meal in days, barely scraping by to get my bills paid and put whatever meager food I can in my stomach. I sat down on the bench and nonchalantly picked up the phone. I don't know why I did it, I never steal anything and believe that hard work pays off in the end. Well...I freaked out a bit, getting really anxious and just fast walked (I swear I didn't run) the rest of the way out of the park. As I was nearing my building, my \"new phone\" buzzed. After recovering from nearly jumping out of my skin, I looked down and pressed home to check it. Alright now this is the part that doesn't make sense...\n\nThere was a picture on the lock screen and it was me. But I mean, it couldn't have been. It's not my phone, just a random one I picked up in the park. Another thing doesn't really add up here. The me in the picture was wearing really fancy clothes, a beautiful watch, and was in a place I've never even seen before. I don't understand how this is possible, I mean I ate a peanut butter sandwich for dinner last night...I definitely couldn't have bought all of those things. Well it gets even weirder! I go to unlock the phone and MY UNLOCK CODE WORKS\n\nNow I'm sitting here going through this phone at my desk, seeing pictures of myself that I never took, in places I've never been, with people I haven't seen before. Am I crazy? How is this even possible? I'm thinking about calling the number in the contacts that says: \"Love 💙\" next to it when I get home tonight. I'm so weirded out right now that I keep staring at the clock counting down the seconds until I can punch out.\n\nHave any of you ever had something like this happen before? What would you recommend I do in this situation? \n\nI'll make sure to post what happens later tonight!" ]	5
	[WP] You are the prettiest cupcake. One day you realise what happens to the prettiest cupcakes in the bakery....	[ "Released from our mother's warm grasp I chirrped along with my thirteen siblings. The scent in the air was welcoming, warm and wholesome and I loved it so. Mother had birthed us and life was good. \n\n&#x200B;\n\nHow all twelve us trilled in our new robes, delightful in the purity. The jewellery we wore clung to us and dazzled and shined and enticed our senses with playful supposes. We were special, all of us.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe light grew brighter still as us eight joined a humming of others. We whistled and sang in joining with the ongoing harmony from an un-conducted symphony of a song with no beginning nor end. The notes enveloped and comforted.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nMe and my three siblings bid farewell to the chosen four. Like those from our gaggle previous, their song muffled and dimmed until they could no longer be heard. Still, we carried on with our sugar voices and adored being.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd o t'was my turn! And bubbling and gushing and leaping the lights flickered and danced like never before. My being was warmed. And though I could still hear my three siblings in hushed tones, another noise reared. One that was rising and falling and wailing and screeching and pounding and and scratching and young and old all competing for my attention. I did not feel comfort.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI trilled louder than I had ever with the song a lifetime had taught me. Begging, pleading and shouting to align this noise with my own. If only it would it would know the comfort I experienced. But it didn't.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nAnd it never did.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe song from where I had come from has faded now. I only feel the light and dark, warmth and cold, rising and falling. The noise is not one. It is many. Many different sources all impossible to align. All shouting over each other. Scratching at each other. Grating at each other. And I still sing my song, to remind me of what was, and I hope that one day, I won't have to anymore.\n\n&#x200B;" ]	1
	[WP] You’ve been dealing with a new roommate and are growing suspicious that he might be the devil, until one day it’s proven to be true.	[ "Criticism welcome.\n\n***\n\nAt first it was small things with Devin. There would be a few dirty dishes left in the sink or he'd leave the ice cream on the counter overnight. Pretty mild stuff as far as roommates go. The truth was though I liked him, at least when he was around. So I tried to keep it casual. No molehills here. Just two guys figuring out how this is all going to work. I'd ask him things like;\n\n\"Hey Devin, next time you there's just a squirt of OJ left, do you mind either finishing it or pouring it out?\"\n\nor\n\n\"Yo, Dev! Do me a solid and let me know next time you wanna DVR something? I think you accidentally cancelled some of my recordings to make room for all these NCIS reruns.\"\n\nSometimes he'd give this self-effacing laugh- as if to say 'oh what a klutz I am' and then he'd follow it up with a \"Sorry, brother. Guess I really messed up\" or a \"I hear you Peter. I got you\". Other times he'd get gravely serious. Three weeks ago I asked him if he'd taken the last roll of toilet paper out of my bathroom as he came in from work. He stopped halfway through the door, put down his briefcase where he stood, sat down next to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and give the sincerest apology i'd ever heard.\n\nThat was of course when I actually saw him. His schedule seemed different day to day. Sometimes he'd leave at 6 in the morning and come back at 3 in the afternoon. Other times I heard him leave at 2 in the morning and he wouldn't turn up again until 11 that night. \n\nI asked him once what he did for a living when he moved his stuff in and he told me he \"serviced accounts\" without further explanation. I figured he didn't want to talk about it. I was just happy to find a roommate on craigslist who actually had a job.\n\nBut it wasn't long before things started getting weird. He left his dirty laundry in the hallway (his clothes always seemed to smell faintly of rotten eggs and sulfur, even after he cleaned them). One of his suit jackets had a huge bulge around one of the inside pockets. I put my hand inside, trying as hard as I could not to change it's position in the basket. I felt a few small, course things inside- like misshapen beads or marbles. I pulled them out and was horrified to see that they were human teeth.\n\nI tried to catch my breath. Is there any reasonable explanation for carrying a few dozen teeth in your pockets? I spent the next couple days trying to figure out how to bring it up without telling him i'd gone through his laundry. \n\nThe weird happenings kept adding up. A few days later I was awoken at 2:30 in the morning to a deafening sound. I couldn't hear anything else. It tore through the apartment like a bomb. It wasn't one thing but a jumble of appalling sounds. Woman screaming, hurricane-force winds, dogs whining, and what seemed like a lady obnoxiously climaxing in some hellish demonic orgy. I ran across the hall and threw open Devin's door. The sound immediately cut off- it was as if it was in my head.\n\nDevin sat on a mattress on the floor against the wall in a his whitey tighties- staring at a laptop on his lap. He slipped the headphone off one of his ears and looked up at me innocently.\n\n\"What's up, mate? Just watchin a movie- is it too loud?\" Devin's voice was earnest and full of concern for me. I started to wonder if I was going insane.\n\nI didn't sleep much that night. The next morning when I came into the kitchen and there was Devin- with a bowl of half eaten Count Chocula cereal (with orange juice instead of milk). He had one foot up on the table and was cutting his toenails.\n\n\"Devin, I've been thinking about this all night and I know this sounds crazy but I have to ask.\"\n\nHe looked at me, curious and invested.\n\n\"Are you the devil?\"\n\nDevin let out a loud and exuberant laugh that filled the kitchen. It was warm and joyous and contagious and for a few seconds it gave me true comfort. My brain relaxed- Gotta be my imagination. A misunderstanding. I started chuckling too, I couldn't help it.\n\nThen Devin stopped, mid-laugh, the way you're not supposed to be able to do when you're in the throws of an authentic, spontaneous laughing fit. He looked me right in the eye, dropped his voice and said flatly.\n\n\"Of course i'm the Devil, Peter. You're in hell.\"\n" ]	1

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