Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
And it was nothing like the first two times.	[WP] The third time I died was on my 24th birthday.	[ "\"Mom, did y-\"\n\n\"Oh, Sweetie, there you are! Come blow out your candles.\"\n\n\"Mom, wait, listen...\"\n\nSome say I'm just like my mom, which is not true at all. I'm a great listener. I listen to people's problems. I don't just grab them by the wrist and drag them into the next room so the rest of the family can sing 'Happy Birthday' to them.\n\nAfter the singing's done and the cake is cut, I pull my mom to the side. \"Mom! Where's Jason?\"\n\nShe gives me a tipsy smile that momentarily leads me to suspect that the cup in her hand isn't just holding fruit punch. \n\n\"Is that your boooyfriend?\" She giggles, confirming my thoughts. I can smell the liquor on her breath, plus this isn't her normal behavior.\n\nI scoff and let her go, watching in annoyance and horror as she prances off gayly into my father's arms and gives him a sloppy kiss.\n\nI take out my phone and text Jason: Hey, where are you? You're still coming to my birthday party, right?\n\nEdit: Might continue\n\n\n\n", "This was not what I was expecting when I died. I learned something new when I was shot and woke up to a petite blonde haired woman staring down at me. When I stood up I could see my own body laying right where I had been. My reaction must have been hysterical because all I got out of that woman was a this unnerving...irritating grin. Like she was amused at my death. This seemed to go on for minutes, my sanity slowly slipping away. STOP GRINNING AT ME!\n \n\"Try to stay calm\" I must have looked obviously surprised when she spoke since that irritating grin didn't vanish...only grew. I tried to compose myself by standing up straight and looking her dead in the eyes. I asked the question that had been gnawing at my brain since I first woke up.\n \"What the hell?\" A small giggle followed my question before she started to give me details. She told me I would be reborn as a better person each time I passed; that I would wake up the next morning feeling like a new me. I would gain new abilities, and my knowledge would expand tremendously. I thought she was lying obviously. Surely this is just some weird figment of my imagination conjured up by near death when your brain releases tons of happy chemicals. Something. I was happy that at least I had something amusing happen before I passed. I woke up though in the hospital with a concerned doctor and an amazed nurse. I had died, and came back to life.\n \n It was a real pain trying to get out of the hospital after that. They wanted to ask questions, run tests, then run some more tests, but I got out of there as quickly as I could with the thought of the petite blonde on my mind. She wasn't lying. I could feel the power flowing. I could start my car just by thinking about it. I was able to understand languages that I had never studied. The feeling I got knowing that I was more special...better than everyone else within my line of sight was invigorating. I thought I couldn't have been happier. That is until I died for the second time. \n \n I died in a car crash. I had been practicing levitation and wanted to try out something...more badass. I launched off a cliff in my Honda Civic, but wasn't able to levitate the car like I though I could. Fell pretty far and you get the picture. I woke up feeling more powerful then before, I could do anything. I slowed time down just to cheat in rock paper scissors. Why? It seemed funny to me. This all pretty much sounds like it was awesome and you're wondering why I'm talking about the past? You want to know what happened to me after I woke up the second time feeling like I dominate the world? Well she said I would grow more powerful everytime I died. So I acted without care because what's the worst that could happen? I eventually died from falling when I collided with something in the air while flying. Hard to focus and levitate when you just slammed into a small plane. When I woke up...it was nothing like the first two times. It's unlike anything I could have thought for the situation. I know I am real, but I feel like I'm not. I'm sitting here in an expanding white space. I can see everything. I can feel everything. I can see everyone...but they can't see me. It's lonely here." ]	2
	[WP] Your superpower is that you can match anybody you go up against. Which means that you can go toe to toe with the likes of Superman but also means you struggle against an average street thug.	[ "To be honest, I didn't particularly used to like my power.\n\nSome people get it real easy. Like they won the super power lottery easy. Like flying around or punching through a skyscraper easy. Shooting lasers out of your eyes or convincing sharks to maw your enemies easy. Controlling the weather or tinkering your toaster into a time machine easy.\n\nI'm a mimic.\n\nThat's the general description for what it is I can do and generally that wouldn't be so bad. Mimics are meta powers. We can't do anything by ourselves, but our abilities change in response to other powers. On the situation at hand. And on the mimic in question because no two ex-human has the exact same power set. Some mimics, they stand near another ex-human, they copy all their powers exactly. Or at least, temporarily. Running fast, shadow control, mind reading, whatever. They get it. Other mimics have it a little harder. Some have to make eye contact for so and so many seconds. Some have to actually touch the ex-human they want to copy. Some just have it weird. I heard about one girl that has to trade spit to get it to work for her, but she gets a stronger version of the power for a minute, so that's cool.\n\nMy power wasn't cool.\n\nMy power wasn't easy at all.\n\nBut things change all the time.\n\nStory time: I was crawling through traffic downtown, looking desperately for a parking spot. I was trading insults with some jerk in a charger who was trying to steal the space I'd claimed from an old couple who'd pulled away. He actually got out of his car. Things were getting so heated I was probably going to pull out of there to avoid an actual fight. But not before throwing my soda on him. I never said I wasn't petty.\n\nJerk slams his door closed, takes a step toward my car, and that saved his life because suddenly there's a van crashing down on top of his now driver-less charger. Not me. I couldn't have done it. And I'm not that petty.\n\nI look around the clogged street and realize traffic isn't just slow, it had stopped. People are abandoning their cars. People are running. People are screaming.\n\nAlien invasion? Giant monster from the depths of the sea? Cars have become sentient and had enough of our parking space squabbles?\n\nI run over to the poor jerk looking at his flattened car with a comically anguished expression, make sure there hadn't been a toddler or a kid inside, and push him in the direction of the fleeing crowd.\n\nGenerally, in this type of situation, best bet is to get underground, into an emergency bunker, and let everything blow over. Part of the city would get destroyed, hundreds would lose their lives, billions in damages, but eventually one of the more well known superhero teams would show up and save the day. Marauders. Mayhem Bloc. Cape Regiment. If it was a really, really big deal, you could expect Gallant Guild to answer the call. But you hoped you didn't see their distinctive gold and white uniform. Because they only showed up when things got really bad. Like it was so bad the city, and probably a few cities nearby, were gonna be totally annihilated.\n\nSo when I saw the yellow cape zooming overhead, flanked by a military jet, I inwardly flinched.\n\nAnd when I saw the figure spin to a sudden stop overhead, directly in the path of the aircraft, and the fiery explosion that followed instantly after the plane collided with the midair figure, I stared dumbly, mouth hanging open in disbelief.\n\nMy first thought was: has the military gone to the dark side? Military coup? Mind control? Evil military from an alternate Earth?\n\nThat's how much trust I had in Gallant Guild.\n\nAnd then I saw Apprentice emerge from the black cloud, cape dancing in the wind. I saw him watch the plane's debris as it crashed down on the street below, falling on a group of screaming people. I saw him lift the burning corpse of the pilot in one hand and toss it unceremoniously into the skyscraper to his back, large glass shards falling down on the masses below. I saw him smirk like a kid smashing his Lego city. And then he was flying off.\n\nApprentice's gone bad, I thought. And my next immediate thought: We're so screwed.\n\nI saw the future clearly. Not that fortune telling was my power, but it didn't take a superpower to call this one. I didn't hyperventilate or start shaking or break out in goosebumps. A calm surety came over me and I knew it was done. This fight, this situation or whatever. It had already been decided, game, set and match. That's how obscenely overpowered Apprentice was. No one else possibly had a chance.\n\nNo one except me.\n\nWell, I wasn't entirely sure. But maybe. Better odds than most.\n\nGallant Guild was a team of five ex-humans. Dithyramb, Misfortune, Erstwhile, Elysium. Any one of their powers alone was easily world class, in the ninety nine point nine percentile of sheer awesomeness. We're talking reality warping, entropy manipulation, time controller, invincibility empowerment. These weren't the guys you called in when shit hit the fan. They were the people you called when the shit became sentient, amassed an army of shit, and started hitting fan city with their turn-matter-into-shit ray beams.\n\nAnd none of them held a candle to Apprentice. Not even together. Not even close.\n\nApprentice was a mimic.\n\nBut not like me. His mimicry worked like this: anyone he killed, he took their power. Permanently. So he could fly at supersonic speeds. He could probably have tossed the moon out of orbit, if he didn't need to breathe. He could teleport and turn intangible and summon tornadoes and talk to animals and go back in time five minutes and a long, long list of other superpowers that was quite frankly overkill on top of the flying and super strength. All souvenirs from his battles, from other ex-humans he had defeated and killed. Apprentice was the strongest mimic in the world.\n\nUntil I killed him.\n\nI know, spoilers.\n\nYou're wondering, okay, all those powers sound really cool and all, but why exactly can't the reality warper drop kick him out of existence? Or the entropy manipulator cause all the atoms in his body to fall part? Or the time controller toss him out of the timeline, or stop his parents from ever meeting?\n\nKeep that question in mind for a bit.\n\nI spent twenty minutes stumbling against and around the flow of crowd, trying to find Apprentice again. As you can imagine, trying to track someone who can fly faster than you can talk wasn't easy. But like all bad guys, he made it easy for me. I found him at a park uprooting trees and tossing them into a half demolished building, improvising a game of darts. He looked rather bored standing in the midst of smoke and sirens.\n\nI walked up and asked, \"Not as much fun as you thought I'd be?\"\n\nHe turned to look at me, black and red staining the swish of his cape. He cocked an eyebrow and I think he was considering backhanding me into orbit, but then decided against it and turned away. And I managed not to crap my pants. Up went another tree and soon the trunk was sticking out of the fifteenth floor of the Bank of America building.\n\n\"The charm wore thin, yes,\" Apprentice said, eyeing his work. \"I didn't expect that. It doesn't usually happen.\"\n\n\"Usually?\" I say. \"I didn't know you did this every Saturday?\"\n\n\"Usually I turn back time. If the president annoyed me. Or if I wanted to release some pent up frustration and level a city. See if I can break my record for hero kills in three minutes,\" Apprentice explained. \"Then I turn back five minutes and none of it ever happened. The end.\"\n\n\"But this time?\" I asked.\n\nApprentice turned back to me. Again, I got that weird considering kicking me through the earth's crust expression, but again he seemed to think better of it at the last second.\n\n\"I don't know. There's only so many times you can be told to stand by while some shitty despot kills his people. Only so many times you have to stand back while refugees are gassed and gunned down. Only so many starving people you have to pretend you can't hear, only so many evil people you have to let walk, only so much shit you can watch before...\" Apprentice shook his head. \"Not that that's an excuse, I know I'm being hypocritical. But before I knew it, five minutes had gone and past. It's too late to go back and play the part of the selfless, shining super duper good guy anymore.\"\n\n\"So you're taking over?\" I said. \"Welcome to the United Countries of Apprentice?\"\n\nThat was probably a mistake, because Apprentice glared at me, annoyance clear in the lines of his brow.\n\n\"I don't know, okay? I haven't thought that far ahead yet.\"\n\n\"Yeah, the world sucks, I absolutely agree. But what you're doing, attacking a random city. Killing people. Taking control by force. This isn't how you help people. You're only going to plunge everything into chaos. So many people will die, I mean...\" Words failed me. \"Isn't one of you powers like super intelligence? Come on, turn it on. I know you're way smarter than me, can't you see where this is obviously going?\"\n\nApprentice said nothing, just looked at me with that grim, hard expression.\n\nAnd I realized.\n\n\"Erstwhile. Did you kill Erstwhile?\" I said.\n\n\"Shut up,\" Apprentice said, his voice dangerously low.\n\nMy life was in danger so of course I didn't. I'm an idiot. \"Maybe you wanted to see the future? The consequences of all this? But the future is terrible, right? You've started a chain reaction. You're too dangerous. Even if you don't start trying to seize control, countries plunge into military coups, fragment. The world we know falls apart and there's chaos either way. You've fucked everything up.\"\n\nAnd then Apprentice was taking a step towards me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to see whatever happened next.\n\nSo I spit out: \"I'mamimictoo.\"\n\nI wasn't dead. So far so good.", "They say I'm a good kisser. They also say 'good' is relative. For a guy who could neither lose nor win, I had a surprising (and ironic) amount of confidence. Why be the best and put in days, years, decades worth of hardwork when you could be as good as any one out there? And I was exactly that : as good as anyone. The difference was that 'good' wasn't really the word to describe this genius of mine. I could also...well...be as bad as anyone. That part kinda sucked.\n\nIt all began with Megan. The school's sweetheart, the darling of all. The guys would give anything and everything to get a look from her, let alone a kiss.\n\nOne thing set her apart from the rest of us commoners though. Besides being a natural beauty, her intellect did not fall far. Top of sciences, math, Literature. You name it, she aced it. In my vocabulary, the word 'perfect' did not exist. Instead, Megan did. Since I lay my mortal eyes on her seemingly immortal smile, the Achilles tendon (yes I know it's the knee, but context) of my heart has never been torn so widely apart.\n\nNerdy as it seems, I found the game of chess interesting and REALLY sexy. Like damn, if you knew how to adjust your openings to counter to opponents, or when was the perfect opportunity to castle your king, you could advance your pawn from the first base to the king in the fourth anyday. And as luck would have it, Megan had her fair share of reputation in the chess community. A game for only the best, she called it. Having since started her career in the world of Chess, she has gone unbeaten, one for one. Not even the great Prokovief could see through the mist of her moves, or maybe it was because of her blinding beauty. \n\nA young grandmaster, both of Chess and my heart. What was there not to love about her?\n\nYou know those days where the school organises some of the clubs to hold events, the kind where no one looked forward to? Well, all praise the Chess club for their yearly tournament. And I looked forward to seeing her beat every other geek in school, demolishing them on the board while maintaining the most beautiful smile. Ahh, if only I could have the smile be for me.\n\nWait\n\nI'm as good as she is. I know that.\nWell, time to put her to the test.\n\nI shook her hand (oh my heart)\n'Hi....?' \nShe smiled shyly after seeing my contorted expression of pure bliss and nervousness.\n\n'Hello! My name's Megan! Glad to be able to have the opportunity to play against you!' \n\n'It's...it's my pleasure.\" The words carelessly gurgled out from my mouth. So much for being as good as anyone, how come I wasn't as good as her with speech?\n\nPlaying white, it was my turn to begin. My fingers reached for the pawn of b5...\n\n'If you can beat me, I'll stop playing chess like...forever. But if I can beat you, you owe me a kiss.'\n\nWhat did you just say. What unholy words did you utter. Why in the Lord's beautiful name would you damn yourself to the lowest hell.\n\n'Okay, sure! It's not like I have anything to lose.' She said cheekily, smile slowly spreading from cheek to cheek.\n\nThe following chess match that ensued so graphic and mentally disturbing I would be banned for sharing it here on reddit. It all came down to the last piece, king on king. Even though stalemate was imminent, you could see through her furrowed eyebrows as she tried desperately to find her path to victory. Eventually, we stood and shook hands again, with her leaning in, whispering into my ear :\n\n'At the back of school at 5, alright?'\nMy ears burned a bright red, heart palpitating as if I had just finished a marathon.\n\nNever had I had a chance to see her so up close and personal, so raw and in the flesh. She looked sheepishly at the floor, swiping a fallen hair behind her ear.\n\n'I have no idea how you won...no one's ever come close to beating me, not even in stalemate.' \n\n'we all have our ways' I chuckle. 'I guess I was just lucky, that's all? But you do owe me something now, don't you?'\n\nI leaned in closer, arms brushing against each other. I could feel the heat from her cheeks as she blushed harder and harder as I inched in for the steal.\nWas I really going to get the chance to grace my lips on hers?\n\n'You know, I've never kissed a guy before. So I might be...pretty bad. I hope you can kiss better than me!'\nShe closed her eyes, nose tips already touching.\n\nRemember how I said I could only be as good as anyone? I obviously didn't think this through.\n\n\n...Oh shit.", "I banged on the door to 3A with the flat of my hand, ignoring the sharp needles of pain that rolled down my opposite arm. There was a moment of silence, where I could hear muted voices behind me, coming from the other apartments.\n\nFootsteps inside before the door swung abruptly open.\n\n\"Oh, shit,\" my friend greeted me, taking a long look at the blood crusted down the side of my face.\n\n\"Yeah,\" I replied, as he stepped aside to let me pass. I limped into the room, dropping into the closest chair.\n\n\"Here,\" he said, wetting a rag in the sink of the small kitchenette and handing it to me, \"What happened?\"\n\n\"As close as I can figure, I need to avoid being out in public,\" I replied, swiping the cloth over the worst of the mess, \"This guy almost broke my arm.\"\n\n\"Someone random?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" I repeated, shutting my eyes and letting my head fall back, \"Some guy outside the subway, tried to make off with a kid's backpack.\"\n\n\"So you chased him.\"\n\n\"Caught him pretty easily,\" I confirmed, \"And then...we tussled. Threw a couple of punches each. And I swear, as the seconds ticked on, I just felt...dumber. Slow...stupid. Complacent.\"\n\nWhile he looked sympathetic, Marcus did not look surprised.\n\n\"How do you feel now?\"\n\n\"A little better. Sharper,\" I admitted, as he gestured for the rag back. He stood to rinse it, and I paced across the living room to stretch out the stiffness in my legs.\n\n\"Do you want to hear my weird theory?\" He asked, filling a ziplock with ice and returning to the room, tossing it to me. I held it to my swollen lip, nodding.\n\n\"I think,\" Marcus began, taking a few steps toward me, with a deceptively passive expression on his face, \"that from now on, you should take every precaution you can to avoid fights with people who don't know how to fight.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\" I asked, resisting the urge to scoff.\n\nThe right hook came from nowhere -- in fact, his expression hardly changed as the punch sailed through the air, directly toward my face.\n\nI caught it easily, hardly knocked off balance. It stung against my palm, made my arm rattle, but didn't send me reeling.\n\n\"What the fuck, Marcus?\" I exclaimed, \"What are you thinking?\"\n\nHe smiled and aimed his other fist directly for my chin, lightning-quick. I dodged this just as deftly, and stepped effortlessly sideways as he raised a knee aimed for my groin. When none of his blows connected, we split apart, and he let out a short chuckle.\n\n\"Sorry. I just needed to be sure I wasn't going crazy,\" he said, raising his hands to indicate that he wasn't going to strike again. Then he glanced to the bag of ice still clutched in my shaking hand.\n\n\"Explain to me why it's suddenly cool to attack me in your living room,\" I said sharply, raising the ice to my face again, wincing.\n\n\"Because I knew you'd be able to defend yourself,\" he said, sinking onto the couch and kicking his feet up, gesturing for me to return to my seat across from him, \"I've been piecing things together since...your accident. Since you got out of the hospital and started leaving your house again. It started making sense the day you met me in the park, the day I was playing chess with Jeff. It struck me as odd that you managed to stalemate against him.\"\n\n\"Why is that odd? What the fuck are you going on about?\"\n\n\"Jeff's one of the best, that's why. I didn't tell you, and he sure wasn't going to, prideful sonofabitch, not after you played so well. And imagine my fucking surprise when I find out it's the first time you've played since you were a kid.\" \n\n\"So? I got lucky.\"\n\n\"Yeah. Lucky. Like you got lucky just now.\"\n\nI fell silent. He seemed to drink this in. Marcus always had loved being right.\n\n\"...so you're saying...\" \n\nHe waited, watching. The answer was there. Just like when I had squared off against the mugger -- as the seconds ticked on, my mind began to shift. Only this time, it wasn't so much that I was slowing down. I was speeding up. I could feel the threads coming together. \n\n\"I'm meeting the skill level of my opponent,\" I finally finished, incredulous.\n\n\"That's the theory, anyway,\" he replied, \"And I can think of plenty of fun ways we can test it out. But for the foreseeable future, I think you need a hired thug. Bit of muscle. For the low-level guys, what do you say?\"\n\nHe bounced his eyebrows, and unable to help myself, I began to laugh. \n", "My brother would always kick my ass when I was kid. He was 3 years older than me, bigger than me, taller than me, had better grades and toys than me. He was without a doubt my parents favorite of the two of us. Anytime I would try to touch his video game consoles that he got as gifts for report cards, his sixth sense would instantly kick in, and he'd enter the game room and punch me square in the face. I would always try to get out of the way, or duck his blows, and sometimes I got lucky, but most of the time he nailed me. Sometimes he would yell \"I'm the Northern Virginia Junior Wrestling Champ, and you're maggot food\", and wrestle me to ground till the Gamecube controller was firmly out of my hands. The ritual (and other various ass-kickings) would continue for three years until I was 9 and he was 12, near the eve of his 13th birthday. Our parents were so excited for him to turn 13, saying \"Oh, Davy, you're gonna be such a fine young man\" and \"Hey big Davy, gonna ask the high-school girls to the prom early\" in a teasing fashion. Davy, my brother, was actually a handsome young man with his sleek blonde hair and it looked like he had already gone through puberty 3 years early, and in my parents eyes he could do no wrong. But me, I was always little Jonah. Little Jonah who couldn't use the vacuum right because the carpet was now burned to a crisp. Little Jonah who needed to ask his mommy to grab a cup from the top shelf because he couldn't reach. Little Jonah, the little twerp who had a punchable face, arm, leg, or stomach (or nuts) in his brother's eyes because touching Davy's video games was a criminal offense. I always figured that someday I wouldn't be Little Jonah, I'd be Big Jonah. All those times that Davy socked me one or wrestled me he'd regret, because when I'd become Big Jonah I'd serve him a dish of cold revenge. But that felt like lightyears away, so I'd just have to learn to put up with his beatings until I got older. Or so I thought.\n\nThe day of Davy's Big 13th Birthday came right at the beginning of summer vacation. My parents always loved how perfect the timing of Davy's birthday was; it was the best way to have all the parents and friends over since school just got out and they could show off their new cars or TV's or whatever. Me on the other hand, my birthday was around Christmas, when everyone goes on vacation with their family. Guess how many party's I had with all my friends? Still my parents were nice enough to let me invite a few of my friends over, but the star of the show was Davy and it felt like the entire 7th grade was visiting today to wish him a happy 13th birthday. My parents tasked me with greeting people at the door and directing them to where to go (after the vacuum incident, I couldn't blame them). Davy's friends and their parents started to arrive about 5pm and I told Cathy, Cindy, Jake, Forest, Milo, Annie, Connor, and Davy's best pal Rod to head to the backyard for the bar-b-que and that there was a shoe rack in the basement if they wanted to use the outdoor trampoline. Most of them gave me a nod, some didn't care and waltzed right in (Rod, who knew all about me and was Davy's tag team partner in my beatdowns, flicked my ear when his parents were admiring the new paintings my parents purchased). Me being at the door to greet the guest was a waste since Davy already had 4 or 5 birthday parties, and at this point every guest knew where the 5 bathrooms in our house were. After Rod and his parents made their way outside through the back, I noticed at the foot of our house's entry door there was a missile to one of my transformers on the ground, no one had seen it. I went to kneel down and pick it up, but right as I reach out my hand, CRUSH. A gigantic size 13 shoe obliterated the plastic toy without reluctance. My eyes were fixed on the shoes, but as I panned my head upward I saw the nightmare of middle school: Judd Cristy.\n\nJudd had been held back a grade twice; he didn't have many friends in school but that didn't stop him from using his size to take advantage of kids younger than him, whether it be the elementary \"cry-babies\" on the bus, or the middle school \"locker lovers\" in the halls. I swear, they made a double junior weight division just so he could still compete on the middle school wrestling team; they seldom found challengers for him, but when they did he'd win. Anyone who was stupid enough to tease him about his last name sounding like a girl's name was about to meet their maker. I had been one of the lucky one's and avoided any interaction with Judd, that is till today.\n\n\"Hey, ya little twerp, is this Davy's party?\" I was on the ground still, kneeling down with my hand reached out, mouth wide open, and I nodded my head yes. \"Hmm, where is your Big Bro Davy, I got him a little present.\" I didn't know what to say at this point but I noticed Judd's parents weren't with him (go figure) and that I looked stupid just kneeling on the floor. Judd got sick of my presence, scoffed, and just made his way to the backyard. The plastic missile that once was, was flattened like a pancake. At that moment I thought it would be a good idea to, one: stand up, which I did and two: let my parents know that Judd was here and wasn't on the guest list. But before I could do that I saw a car pull up outside my front window with my best friend Trevor riding in the passenger seat. He saw me and waved, he never got to ride in the front before. His parents dropped him off and then pulled out and waved goodbye, and I decided to greet him instead of telling my parents about Judd.\n\n\"Hey Jonah! Ready to have a cool time at the party daddio? Groovy Baby!\" Trevor would always try to repeat the lines of movies he just saw, all the other kids in class hated him for it, but I thought it was really funny. \"I'm cool man, hey wasn't Steven supposed to be with you?\" Trevor frowned and said, \"Oh, you didn't hear? His family had to go take a trip to New York because their Grandfather pulled his back again, so he can't come\". Rats; Steven and Trevor were the only two friends I invited but it looked like Trevor was all the support I was going to have to survive Davy's birthday. Whatever, I thought, at least Trevor came, it wasn't going to be total bore. I told Trevor to wait for me outside because I had to greet more guest. Once Katie, Oliver, Tony, Tye, Kylie and all their parents had finally arrived at about 5:35, I made my way out back to see what Trevor and everyone else was up to. The thought of Judd was completely forgotten.\n\nThe backyard certainly seemed as if the fun had picked up without me. A few kids were hopping on the trampoline, others were playing a game of touch football, and Trevor was stuffing his face with what looked like his 3rd hotdog. I went to the table where he was eating; alongside him was my mom who was mingling with all the parents (explaining her intricate new purchases) and my dad was manning the bar-b-que with the other dads talking about sports and politics. \"Dude, your face is covered in mustard\" I told Trevor as I handed him a napkin. \"Pffft, that's nothing, you should have seen me at lunch yesterday, I had ice cream all over my shirt!\" That's right, I didn't get a chance to participate in the field day at school because the teacher claimed to have seen me \"steal\" Jessica's notebook, when really it was Robby and his gang of losers, who later planted it in my backpack. I tried to explain to the teacher, but she didn't believe me, and made me stay in detention all day till my parents picked me up. At least that wouldn't ruin my night tonight, so I asked Trevor, \"So what do you want to do tonight? Trampoline? Lawn Darts?\" Trevor shook his head, \"Naw, I'll get sick Jonah, but dude didn't you say your brother got the Smash Bros. Game for the Gamecube?\" I hesitated a bit, I didn't need to be caught playing games tonight on Davy's birthday with all his friends around or I'd be as flat as the plastic missile Judd had stepped on. I came to and said \"Well, yeah...but we can't play\". Trevor snorted, \"Why not? I heard that game was rad!\" I replied, \"Why don't we go to my room and play smash for the N64 instead? And besides, you know I can't get caught playing my brothers gamecube, my bro will kill me!\" Trevor looked around and said, \"Wait, where is your Bro?\" I took a look around myself, my brother wasn't in the trampoline or playing sports, he was nowhere to be seen. \"Now's our chance!\" Trevor exclaimed, \"If he's not here he won't see us go inside, we can just play for 10 minutes, that's it!\" I shook my head, crossed my heart, and said, \"Fine, but 10 MINUTES, that's it, or else I'm a dead kid.\" Trevor said, \"Don't be afraid Jonah, we've got the power of love on our side.\" He pretended to be like Michael J. Fox from Back to the Future and rode an invisible skate board into my house.\n\nWe made our way inside, I was extra careful and keeping my eye out for Davy or his Tag Partner Rod. Trevor on the other hand waltzed right in without a care in the world and started to make his way upstairs. I caught up to him and tried to convince him otherwise, \"Dude we don't have to go to my bro's room, my room his right here at the top of the stairs, we can play smash all night\" Trevor replied, \"Yeah but we'll just play the new game for a little while, I want to play as Falco really bad!\" We made our way to my brothers door which was closed. That was odd, Davy always kept his door open to show off his cool collections and sheets and posters and what not. Trevor's hand went to reach for the door knob, but in a flash I grabbed his hand and covered his face and silently whispered, \"Listen!\" With our backs against the hallway wall, voices were coming from inside the room, I could easily make out my Brother and Rod, but the other one was new...deeper.....oh no, I thought to myself....it's Judd.\n\nEdit: Part 2 Now Below!!", "It was a strange power, something that was akin to the great equalizer of the colt. God may have made man, but Colt made them equals. Well, God made me. No matter who I fight, be it the strongest man, the smartest villain, or the local toddler wanting his binky back, I was on par with them. Hilarious. It had been this way all of my life. I can’t say for sure I was really ever bullied. For any quip or snide remark I had one just the same to give back. The problem , however, is when you’re never quite good or bad enough for a fight to end. I am only as good as the person I’m fighting with. Though, as it would turn out this makes me a wonderful partner. I can hold off universe destroying threats while the other heroes try to work out their plans. No one can get by me, no one can best me, and for that reason I’m here now. \n&nbsp; \nI have fought beings able to eat worlds whole, danced toe to toe versus psychics that could turn any normal man to mush from a state away, and even stopped a rather large mechanical monstrosity from hurling a galaxy our way. All the while I’d wait for the League of Immortals to show up, people whose names would go down in history once they bit the great eternal dust of beyond. And bite it they had, time and time again. Now, I’m not truly an immortal myself in either of the regards. I drank poison unknowingly, not by a foe, or evil villain who wanted to take over the world, but simply by someone that wanted to know if my power worked on chemistry. The light had all but faded from my eyes when I saw It. Death itself had come for me, and I was ready for another fight. It lasted for an eternity in this timeless place, but upon the Earth not a second had gone by. We played games I had never heard of, nor understood the rules for, we partook in physical and non-Euclidean feats of endurance and strength. Nothing was going to budge. We could play Tower of Hanoi until the heat death of the universe occurred and we’d be no more better off for it. Eventually the second hand on Earth struck, and Death was tired of these eternities in-between them. Death called in a ringer. \n&nbsp; \nNow, with all this said, my question to you is as follows: Can God make a man that even it can’t beat? \n" ]	5
	[WP] All time-travelers have a common-place called the "Coffeeshop At the End of Time" where they can go get a few... minutes. They can all share it without problem so as long as they never speak of when they're from.	[ "Yeah, we get all kinds here.\n\nOld men in 20th-century police boxes (I assume you're a post 20th-century earthling?), big-ass futuristic (or maybe presentistic, even outdated maybe, although you don't seem to be of that era) ships more in line with earthling's traditional concept of a time machine, vehicles which look like they're designed for terrestrial use rather than temporal use, and that's just the humans.\n\nA typical crowd is exactly what you'd expect if you combined time-travellers from every corner of space and time. And even if they're not allowed to speak of their home era, they still have a lot of stories to tell.\n\nWhat's yours? That's what you pay for your catering. In a restaurant specifically for time-travellers, material values lose all meaning.\n\nWelcome to the restaurant at the end of the universe. I hope you enjoy your time. And remember, let them find out for themselves.", "A tall skinny man with a confused expression walks up to the counter \"What's a coffee shop doing at the end of time?\" \"Wait, Is everyone here a time traveler too?\"\n\n\"Huh, oh I'm not a time traveler like everyone else. I'm actually the last immortal.\" I stand in my proud heroic pose. \n\"You see after countless eons of being alone I began to notice people showing up for a bit than leaving.\"\n\nI begin making him some blueberry tea while I continue to talk \"Once I finally got in contact with a few of them I realized that I managed to live so long I made it to the end of time.\" \nThe man has a very dumbfounded expression as he looks at me \"I had that exact expression on my face too when I found out.\"\n\n\"That answers my 2nd question but I'm still confused as to why there's a coffee shop.\" He takes a cup and holds it as I pour his tea.\n\n\"I'm getting to that, After interacting with other time trailers I ended up creating this coffee shop with a few of them. It already came in handy after a few... future-past incidences involving people visiting the end of time.\"\n\nWhile stirring his cup he quizzically says \"Future-past incidences?\" \n\n\"It's safer for everyone if I don't go into detail, Although I can give an example for the most notorious one which involved two people who knew each other but were always meeting in the wrong order. We soon created a 'no spoilers' rule which basically means don't talk about when your from.\"\n\nHe takes a few sips from his cup as he thinks things through \"But aren't you breaking that rule now by talking with me?\"\n\n\"Weren't you listening? I'm an immortal not a time traveler so most of the rules don't apply to me as I'm a low risk.\" \nI clear my throat than continue \"Any way as a general rule we agree that time trailers who show up are aloud to catch a few minutes in hopes we avoid creating any ^more paradoxes, And as I explained sense I'm the only person who's from the end of time I ended up being The Coffeeshop At the End of Time's manager by default.\"\n\nAs he gets up to leave he looks at me saying \"While I'm grateful for the blueberry tea I have one more question before I go. Who came up with the idea for the coffee shop? it wasn't you was it?\"\n\nAs I realize what's happening with a grin on my face I simply respond \"You enjoyed your tea didn't you?\"", "After all that work, I wiped my brow, looking up into the rafters in anticipation. I was rewarded with a faint boop noise, as the device came online. From now on, it would remain completely silent, unless an error occurred. One might, if they knew it was there, be able to hear that unfortunate klaxon blaring over the sounds of screaming and temporal terror.\n\nOf course, I already knew it advance that it would never fail, but I climbed up the discreet ladder access and went over to the device to confirm the parameters were all within bounds. As my mother used to say, better safe than destroyed the universe.\n\n`RUNNING IN STANDBY MODE.`, the monitor alerted me as I approached. `AWAITING PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION BEFORE ENTERING DEMONSTRATION MODE.`\n\nI ran down the numbers, confirming that everything was within the default safety margins, twisting a few dials to ridiculously high values to confirm they'd hold up to the stress, and finally nodded. The device beeped again. I looked over at the screen - `FIXED ACCESS: ΓΓΛΨΗ`- and carefully typed the characters into my wrist device. With a deep breath, I hit confirm.\n\nI was downstairs again, this time in the lobby. So far, so good. I hadn't collapsed any aspects of reality just yet. To be fair, if I couldn't code a proper transportation array, the grander endeavor would be impossible, but there was always that nagging feeling that I'd overlook something so simple and ruin the whole project.\n\n\"Greetings, sir. Your usual table for three?\"\n\n\"Cut the theatrics, me.\"\n\nI obliged myself with a bow, already making the mental adjustments to being face to face with myself. The printer at the table was already printing out identifying slips, so that we could avoid reference confusion. That had worked flawlessly, too. I slapped \"Just #2 / Builder\" onto my shirt, letting the nanomachines adjust it and sew it into the fabric. When I was done here, the same machines would dissolve the label and recycle its material for the next visitor.\n\nMy other self affixed his label more meticulously, identifying himself as \"Just #3 / Proprietor\". Our shared name, our temporal order of visit, and the nickname we would answer to while we were here. I was the Builder for the purposes of this stay, since I was the one in the process of building this service. Even though this other me was a future version, who also got credit for the construction, he'd answer to the Proprietor since he was the one sticking around to run the shop after I left to return. As for #1...\n\nWe entered the side room that had just been spawned, confirming - again, even though I already knew it would work - that it had worked. I was already sitting there, looking confused, young, and overbearingly eager. The Investor. I didn't know how much work this was going to be.\n\nThis was the first of many short visits. Mainly Investor was here to see for myself that eventually my endeavor would pay off, and get tips on where to begin. Later I would also visit myself to make course corrections, fix errors that I already knew I was in the process of making, causality and paradox be damned.\n\nFuture knowledge could exist inside of these demesnes, a quirk of the exact position that dissipated once anyone left, so it was fine to bootstrap myself. Other people would collapse themselves into non-existence if they did, but I had already dedicated myself to never leaving this property again.\n\nI'd have to thread a careful line giving myself advice until it was actually built, but at that point I'd have more freedom to accelerate the project. And until then, a future version of me would always come back to warn myself that I was about to erase myself, before I did so.\n\n\"So, the first thing I'm going to want to do is get a Model-5 Temporal Fluctuation Accelerator, and assemble it at spacial coordinates 150000x150000x150000. 150000^3 is the one spot in the universe, according to my calculations, that this will work.\" The Investor said. This was one of the ways we'd worked out to avoid paradox - having the first version of me float ideas for future approval. I had gotten it in one this time, even though normally, this process could take a while. Sometimes in the future I'd go through millions of permutations in escalating frustration until I finally got the right one to leave with, but it was a necessary step to avoid giving myself information I couldn't have thought of myself.\n\n\"Right.\" I affirmed. \"Once there, make sure to bring the - \"\n\nInvestor plugged his ears. I sighed, remembering that this version of me didn't yet know about all the safeguards, and how we'd eventually work out a way to trial test potential paradoxes safely, to use in the past to speed up the process. I looked at my own face again, scrunched in concentration, marveling at how young I was fifty years ago - and how naive. A glace at Proprietor's face revealed a matching wry smile. I wondered if I looked as young to him, as Investor looked to me. Maybe as naive?\n\n\"How long have you been doing this? Consecutively, and total?\" I asked suddenly.\n\n\"Consecutively, only 3 years. Overall, I can't tell you.\"\n\nI furrowed my brow. \"Because I don't know the answer, but if you answer Investor will know, which means I should have already known?\"\n\nHe chuckled. \"No, that one isn't paying the slightest bit of attention right now. He's too wrapped up in realizing he can calculate the quickest way to transport matter to the Tymian Center of the galaxy.\"\n\nI nodded, now remembering how everything else back then had faded into background noise because of a sudden flash of insight and excitedly started solving what I thought was going to be the biggest hurdle in my path.\n\n\"So why not, then?\"\n\n\"I lost count.\"\n\nI made a mental note to add a timekeeping function to my computer upstairs, and looked at myself expectantly.\n\n\"The computer lost count, too.\"\n\n\"What? That's the supreme state of the art u-quantum device. It can solve any problem that will ever exist in the span of a microsecond spread over an infinite number of universes. How could it lose track of something as simple as that?\"\n\n\"Overflow error.\"\n\nI opened my mouth to protest the ridiculousness of that, then shut it again when I realized I was serious. \"That long, huh?\"\n\n\"Yeah. The universe is infinite, and we'll see all of it before we're done.\"\n\n\"Only ten more years to retirement, though.\" I said with a grin. Technically true - I'd spend all of eternity running this place in various loopbacks on my own timestream objectively, but subjectively I'd only do this for another decade before I'd be done. Realistically, we all knew that there was a version of us that'd be stuck forever in this task, but we also knew that there was a version of us who'd get to finally leave, since there were no more paradoxes to avoid. Including the paradox of being free from being trapped forever at this task.\n\nIt made no sense, but then, we'd already met ourself, come back one last time to let us know how it went, so we knew it was true. Turns out once you know something seemingly impossible is true, you stop worrying about how it is possible, and start looking forward to it.\n\n\"Let's wrap up.\" Investor said. \"I've got a purchase to go make. I'll come back in a week to review what to do next.\"\n\nI shook my head, aware of Proprietor doing the same. I wouldn't have had the right idea yet, for another seven years, on how to proceed.\n\n\"I'll come back in a week and a day.\" Investor corrected. I sighed, remembering that this 'short visit' had dragged out over an hour.\n\n\"Mind if I get back to work? Customers are waiting.\"\n\nI waved Proprietor on, even though he didn't really have any urgent need to leave. No sense in forcing him - myself - to go through this thrice.\n\n\"A week and two days?\"\n\n---\n\nI stepped back out into the antechamber, rubbing my forehead wearily, but otherwise satisfied with the results. My name tag faded away, since I was the only person here now. That was about to change.\n\nI put on my apron, snugly winding its cords around my waist, and climbed partially up the ladder again. \"Final check successful, authorization to run approved.\" I announced from the hatch. In the short distance, the screen remained silent. Squinting, I could read the message it was displaying: `DEMONSTRATION MODE EXITED. ENTERING LIVE MODE.` No, wait, that's right. I had made one other change. `DAY 1.`\n\n\"Excuse me, what's a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?\"\n\nI climbed back down into a room full of a bustling crowd, thousands of people elbowing their way through to the front register. The computer would generate extensions and private rooms as needed, but most people still preferred the lobby area, and the human touch. Making sure the apron was still secure, I held up a finger while I got my new name tag. No number, since I was still the only me here. Just, Proprietor.\n\n\"Welcome to the Coffeeshop at the End of Time!\" I bellowed with a friendly beam at the irked person waiting. \"And congratulations, you're our first customer!\"\n\nI pulled a cord to drop confetti, announcing to those interested - there were always tourists - the milestone.\n\n\"First customer, the hell? I've been here three times before...\" the man grumbled.\n\n\"Indeed you have, sir. Welcome back! So, would you like your usual? Since this is our first time seeing you, it's complimentary!\"\n\nHe scratched his head, the finer nuance of time travel lost on him. \"Whatever. Free coffee, you say? Is that just for me, or for all of me?\"\n\nI did a quick head count, spotting at least seventy more in the adjourning infinite area. \"Well...\"", "It has been called a Time Travellers Hub, The Coffe Shop on the End of Time, An Endless Party Pub. It is a small shop that sits on a street corner in most towns, in most eras. It is quite small and every time traveler has been to it, even if they don't know that they have.\n\n The small room first seen, when inside, will colorate to the time period its customer entered from. The advanced tech and magic within the building will disguise the patrons as well, to most of its customers, that is: for once one has jumped the Time Stream they are given an inner vision that reveals the true origins of their fellow customers.\n\n A Traveller will see the Centurian having a drink with a Confederate Soldier while they are served by a Space Marine. In a corner, a game of cards is being played by a Storm Trooper, a Squid, and a Gigantopithecus. \n\n\n\n A VIP lounge is blocked off from the main room. Inside it is where the Travellers sit back and relax. It also contains the oddest of the patrons: \n\n From an old man who arrived in a silver car to a small group who came in a phone booth, to the woman in a school bus, to a man from a robot dragon, and more.\n\n There is one rule for the Traveller here: They are forbidden to talk about their home time. It is said when this rule is broken time itself will close.\n\n\n\nThanks for reading! It's my first post on this subreddit so go easy on me :P", "A short pop preluded the sudden appearance of the traveler. In a spot that was empty just a moment before now stood a man, tall and gaunt. He wore an old duster that hung down to his ankles. Stained and tattered it was by years of service to its owner. The traveler wore it like a second skin. Under a wide brimmed hat only a skeletal chin and sunken cheeks could be seen. Ahead of him about twenty paces were a set of double doors attached to seemingly nothing. They looked quite out of place amid the flat black desert of the Last Planet. \n\nThe cafe at the end of time was indeed a peculiar place. Hosted by the last planet warmed in the thin, dying light of the youngest star. All the land about was bathed in a perpetual twilight. Oranges and purples fought amid rolling clouds along the distant horizon fading up into an infinite dark directly above. The youngest star seemed an unremarkable fixture in that forlorn sky. A tiny ball of red that sputtered arcs of plasma across his surface and flickered as the last of its hydrogen began to burn out. It remained forever it the same spot as the planet that orbited it no longer rotated. As for the surface of the planet the stranger now stood on, this could be said. It was by appearance a flat disk of black sand. No wind rolled over the land and the air was thin and stagnant. It was a place apparently frozen in time untouched by the cold that was assuredly creeping across the universe and unbent by the glutinous singularities that now dominated all of space and time. \n\nThe cafe itself was an enigma on this barren landscape. Set up as a traditional roadside stop its perimeter was oblong. No walls made up its construction. Next to the double doors hung on nothing was a neon sign of the cafes name, which shall not be spoken here. Booths sat open behind the double doors forming a semi-circle around a long bar. Sheet metal composed the face of the bar supporting a sturdy wooden top. Behind that cabinets hung in mid air and a tiny rectangular window sat where the unseen cooks placed hot steaming plates of anything and everything their patrons ordered. How these shadowy figures accomplished such a feat of customer service was just another mystery of the universe. None of the cafe's guests cared to ask either, because many had more, larger concerns. There were two other singular doors to the right of the cafe, marked as restrooms. It should be noted that there wasn't actually any toiletries or plumbing in the cafe. The doors acted simply as thresholds for other travelers to escape to someplace more private.\n\nSince there were no walls the inhabitants of the cafe lay bare to the world around them. To the traveler this seemed an amusing sight. A dozen patrons, maybe give or take one or two currently in the bathrooms. Most sat in pairs talking in low voices that could not be heard from his vantage point. He saw their mouths open and close in silent conversation. Of those that sat alone, he saw their jaws flex and relax masticating. There was a tinny clink of silverware on ceramic plates and here and there the hollow thump of a cup on a table. The traveler felt comforted at the sight of it all, for he was weary. Like a rolling stone he walked into the cafe. \n\nOnce inside, the shrouded man found his way to a worn metal stool. He took a seat and gestured for a cup of coffee from the bar keep. No sooner had he received his steaming cup than had another patron seated herself next to him. \n\n\"Talk about that weather, eh?\" She said in a raspy voice. The traveler ignored her. \"Some rogue gust caught that sand underfoot and nearly tripped me.\" She chuckled, \"Next thing you know it'll be hurricane season and well this place ain't got no walls, ha. How do you think Horace over there will take his eggs when it's raining cats and dogs, right?\" \n\nHer voice though low and colicky was playful and quick. She spoke with an accent that the traveller had never heard before, nor could he recall anything even similar. She lingered on the vowels in the middle of her words and cut short the consonants at the end. An interesting new puzzle. Still, he wasn't there for puzzling so he ignored her. \n\nUnperturbed by her companions apathy the woman carried on, \"Quite the crowd today, yea? Never know what sort o' trash this place will sweep in, yea? Look there, who's that talking with the old Mariner? Never seen his like before,\" she tapped the traveller with on the shoulder with the back of her hand, \"Bet ya I can guess what their whispering over, heh. That old Mariner-coot's always telling people that ancient rhyme o' his, yep.\" Out of the corner of the traveler's eye he caught the woman nodding to herself assuredly. \n\n\"Does it matter?\" He growled, annoyed by her. The woman's words made his coffee taste sour and he hated anything but bitter-black java. Immediately though, after uttering his small grievance, he realized his mistake. She shot him a quick, wide grin. \n\n\"Knew you weren't so silent as they say slinga', ha. But I got you now, dusty. 'Cause we got a conversation between us that's to be had.\" Her eyes sparkled like some devil's fire as she spoke. The traveller growled in retort. A final weak attempt to dismiss the dame, but it failed.\n\n\"What do we got to talk about then.\" He finally conceded. \n\n\"Oh stuff, yea. You know, the weather and gossip and whatever else we can cook up. Maybe we'll talk about those tangly things watching us in that deep darkness above.\" She a paused and looked straight up. Then looking down she added, \"Maybe not on that last one, eh. They might hear us and you and I both don't want that, right.\" \n\n\"Get on with it then.\" He grumbled. He didn't care for all the extra fat her in sentences. She spoke like a trickster and he'd met plenty of that cut. Not a one did he ever even slightly like either. Tricksters were the bane of this universe though they were always played out as the heroes. Always using more words than was necessary. With mouths like rivers where the words would wide left then right, then coil up around you and squeeze the life from you. Plus they always thought they were so damn crafty. He had an answer for that and it rested on his hip. Yep, sure is hard to talk your way out of some rough tie up when you got a bullet bouncing around in your skull. \n\n\"Well how about we start with names, yea? I know yours, but I doubt you know mine. Call me Eve, 'Kay?\"\n\n\"Okay, Eve.\" Growled the traveler. \n\n\"So where you from Mr.tall-dark-n'-skeletony.\" She said politely. \n\n\"Nowhere.\" Replied the traveler truthfully. Though in a truer truth he was from a certain time and a certain place. Of that place he would never say. There was rules against that kind of thing in the cafe. \n\n\"Yea, same here, ha.\" She chuckled, \"Oh what business do we got, hombre, what indeed?\"\n\n\"You're asking me?\"\n\n\"Ha! No! Just speaking rhetorically big guy, ha.\" \n\nThe traveler was growing angry. He was now gripping his mug so tight that he wasn't sure if the heat he felt was the coffee or his own deep rage. Would she not just cut to the point? No dull knife could make a messier work than her words right now. \n\n\"What do you want Eve?\" He asked through gritted teeth. \n\nShe smiled and the fire kindled brighter in her blue eyes. \"We got a history, you and I.\" She said nodding her head. \"Or a future, yea. You know how it works for us vagabonds, yea. See we don't operate like normal people, who's lives are like starlight arcing from horizon to horizon, yea. Those people's lives are like tangents. They come and go and their actions ripple out, but in the end everyone always leaves and the person dies just as alone as they were when they were born. Maybe they get lucky and their arc of life touches another's at one singular point in space and time, but it always ends. People always part.\" She paused, \"But not us cowboy.\" She ended with a smirk. \n\n\"What does this have to do with our business?\" The traveler asked. \n\n\"Everything.\" She said almost reverently. She paused to sip her coffee and her face pinched up in disgust as she swallowed it. \"Yeugh.\" She mouth, setting the mug down. \"You'd think the cafe at the end of friggin' time would at least have a decent brew.\" She glanced over at the barkeep who stood at the far end of the bar with his arms crossed. He rolled his eyes and turned away. \n\n\"Anyway as I was saying cowboy, you and I are connected, oh yea. See our history and our future goes a little something like this, we begin at our ends and work backwards from there. For you, this is our first meeting, yep, but for me this is our final hour. Things work backwards from this point. See, and you'll figure it out pretty quick, eventually I'll be meeting you for the first time and you'll be seeing me for the last.\" She paused again and gulped back some more coffee. When she set her cup down her eyes were low and cold and her mouth was pulled tight at the edges. \"I don't like to think about that part so much.\" \n\nThe traveler had grown more and more grim as she spoke. In his mind her words rang truer than anything he'd ever heard, but at the same time they seemed more alien than a cafe with no walls on a black planet in a black universe. He feared that he'd been tied up in something he couldn't remember. A bad bet maybe or an errant promise. Either way the words Eve spoke filled him with a certain dread. He could think of only one thing to say.\n\n\"So how's this going to end then?\" He said facing her directly.\n\nEve smiled sadly. \"For you I will not say, but for me... I want you to kill me.\" ", "“I really need a break. Just twenty minutes, ok?” James insisted, eyes hooded with lazy lids. His hair was recently washed but was fluffy and had dried disheveled, strands sticking up, the dark locks curling at the end, in need of a cut. There was an old washed stain on his dark shirt. \n \nLynn looked at his crooked nose, something she had once found unappealing about him but had since grown immensely fond of, and sighed. Her own hair was bunched into a messy bun. It was poorly gathered and much of the hair was working free, oily and unwashed the strands clung to one another. The inset ceiling lights reflected off of her forehead. \n \n“I need a break too,” she countered. \n \n“Just one cup of coffee. I’ll bring you a cup and some pie,” he pleaded. \n \nThey were silent, engaged in a lackluster stare off. James boredly examined the way eye bags seemed to change the shape of her eyes altogether, curious if they’d ever return to their original almond shape. Despite their general lack of conviction, it was clear when she gave in. Her lids closed for slightly longer than a blink and she drew in a breath through her nose.\n \nThe corners of his lips almost pulled up into a smile. Slowly, he walked toward her and placed his hands on either of her shoulders, pulling her against his chest and pressing a kiss to her temple. \n \n“Thanks, I won’t be long.” \n \nJust as he walked downstairs, he heard the baby cry. The typical burden of the wail was lifted from his shoulders. \n \nHe could hear the cries until he reached the end of their front garden path and, out of solidarity, he stepped back and looked at the nursery window. His wife was standing over the crib, no doubt speaking soothing words. \n \nKnowing all was well, he walked around to the back of the house and opened the shed door. Once inside, he pulled out a small device and set the location to CATED, a timeless coffee shop with a great slice of pie and pleasant company. \n \nThe place was bustling as usual and he sat down at the bar. \n \nThere were roaring conversations bubbling up from several tables in the back. The hiss of coffee machines, pings of ovens and microwaves, and the clattering of dishes made the main seating area lively. The decor and appliances were anachronistic; jukebox from the 1950’s in the corner, futuristic food preparation devices, things James had never seen both because he was too young and too old. \n \n“James!” A voice, barely audible through the clattering of a dish tray, called out. \n \nJames turned and smiled widely. \n \n“Aiden, my friend,” he greeted, rising from his seat and shaking the other man’s hand.\n \nThey were nearly the same height and age, though Aiden was in significantly better shape. James would blame their new addition for his weakened physique. Without another word, the men turned and walked into one of the shop’s many back rooms. These quieter, themed, rooms were more suited for casual conversation. \n \n“How’s your son?” Aiden asked.\n \n“He’s well, really. I can’t believe how big he’s gotten,” James said, pulling out his phone to show pictures. Aiden appeared interested and leaned in to look. “Six damn months, can you fathom? I think he’s like nearly twice as big, I don’t know. It’s amazing. How about you? Your son is due any day now, right?” \n \n“Yeah, one of these days. He’s late to the party, just like his dad.”\n \n“My son was a week late.”\n\n“I know, I remember,” Aiden said. \n \nThey stared at the screen of the phone for several seconds longer before a waitress interrupted and took their coffee order. Secretly, James looked forward to the day Aiden came in looking exhausted. The man was always clean and well put together, his hair was styled with just enough product to hold it in place without becoming excessive and his skin was flawless. Not a wrinkle in sight. \n \n“I love my kid, but let’s talk shop. You’re still trying to build that boat?” James asked.\n \n“Yep, it’s going alright, too. Care to give me some tips?” \n \n“I gotta figure you’re from beyond my time, I don’t get why you’re trying to build a damn boat.”\n \n“It helps me connect with people I didn’t get to know as well as I’d have liked to.” \n \n“Your dad?” James asked.\n \n“Yeah.” Aiden replied. \n \nThey talked and drank their coffee. Both men were happy and engaged, they spoke in turn and listened genuinely to one another. When the time came for James to leave, he paid for the drinks, wished Aiden well with his soon to be new addition, and then went back home. After a few silent minutes, Aiden left as well. \n \n\"More special dad advice?\" Lisa asked, hand on her round squirming belly. \n\n\"He's a good guy. Loves his kid, I figure I've got cramming to do.\"\n\n“When do I get to meet him? Oh, hey, did you bring me some of that coffee?” \n \n“Of course,” he replied, placing a bag of beans on the side table before covering her hand and with his own and kissing her cheek. If only she could meet him. He glanced at the wall beyond her should. Hanging against the blue paint was a picture of his father. The man’s flyaway fluffy hair and crooked nose was charming, he’d always thought. The way he had his arm around his mother with her loose bun and almond eyes, brought a lopsided grin to his lips. Lisa broke the hug and lifted the bag of beans from the table. She walked into the kitchen and Aiden followed. \n" ]	6
	[WP] You've been dating this person for weeks now and they seem great, but you still think its strange how occasionally their eyes glow red when you mention religion.	[ "\".... Why do you always ask to come into my house?\" Don asked Niki as she sat at his desk playing Darksouls on his desktop.\n\n\"It's polite.\" She responded unthinking, as her hands twitched at just the right time to dodge and back stab an invading blue spirit.\n\n\"Ya, but you ask like every time, like EVERY TIME. You make sure I say it. Out load.\" His fingers played with the rosary around his neck, a give passed down from generation to generation.\n\n\"That's what beening polite is called, you do it EvErY tImE! Get wrecked! Can you believe this guy? Faith user I mean who does that!\" Niki's voice held a mocking tone, with a hind of.... worry?\n\n\"It's not to bad, I personal love running solid faith builds.\" Don respounded as he watched the love of his life's hands. They moved fast... to fast.... and she had a condition... hairy palms. Niki sat her character down at a bonfire and hid her hands. She didn't even turn her head.\n\n\"You know I hate it when you look at my hands.\"\n\n\"Their cute.\"\n\n\"Their hairy and you don't like them.\"\n\n\"I never sad that, you know I love you.\"\n\nDon said pulling her hands into his, turning her palms at her.\n\n\"Even if you have furry palms!\" \n\nHis smile was genuine, and Niki seemed to glow with life when ever head complemented her. She frowned as she notice the rosary.\n\n\"Also why are you wearing that thing around your neck again? You know I hate thous things!\"\n\n\"Yes you've made that clear, but you also know this was my father's, and his father's and his father's father's...\"\n\n\"Its bullshit!\" Niki's eye's glowed that familiar red, Don had seen her eyes change like this when every he brought up going to church with him.\n\n\"It's a stupid fucking necklace! That some dumb bitch of a nun gave to a even dumber boy!\" She shoved Don away from her, wrapping her arms around her legs.\n\n\"Niki...\"\n\n\"WHAT!?!\"\n\n\"I never told you the story of how my family got the necklace...\" \n\nNiki's face paled a bit.\n\n\"Y-Yes you did! remember you told me when we first met? You said some dumb shit about it being to word of vampires, or ghosts or some dumb shit...\"\n\nHer face shifted from agitation to that face you make when you say something you know your weren't meant to say.\n\n\"No that was my Great Grand Father.....\" Don's face was not of angry, or betrayal. Just a strange sad and knowing face. She hated this face, he always brought it out when ever she got angry.\n\n\"Nicoleta?\"\n\nHe asked her and she shivered at hearing it.\n\n\"Don't call me that.\" Niki said as she balled up, as tight as she could. \n\"It's not my name!\"\n \n\"Yes it is, Niki.... You know it is....\"\n\nShe started sobbing into her knees.\n\n\"How... How long have you been....\" Don trailed off.\n\n\"Alive? Been this way? Been..\" Niki started to rant, but Don cut her off.\n\n\"Stalking me...?\" His face was stern, he had thought it was luck when he met Niki at that 24 hour gaming event his college was hosting. Now he wasn't sure.\n\nNiki instead of answering just started wailing, an unnatural sound, an inhuman sound, sorrowful, and madding. \n\n\"Niki...\"\n\n\"Shut up!\" She glared at him with eyes that shined with hellfire, a snarl on her lips revealing fangs that would make a wolf jealous.\n\n\"You think I like this? You think I wanted this?!? You think I wanted to fucking stalk the man I loved's family in some vain attempt to see his face again! To watch generation after generation panic at every god damn time I got close.\"\n\nDon took a step back as Niki stood tall on the chair, her once tiny body seem to grow and wrap with the shadows in the room.\n\n\"All because on crotchy old hag from that nunnery gave him that stupid fucking piece of trash!\" She howled as she pointed at the rosary around Don's neck.\n\n\"She was a good damn spinster Don! She gave her love to god, cause no one wanted HER Don! So why the fuck did she have to go and ruin my love life? Make ME into a cradle robbing monster, and yes I HAVE held you as a god damn baby!\" She spat her words out not at Don, but out into the world as if she hope her hate would reach the now long dead nun that haunted her.\n\nNiki then collapsed into the desk chair, tears on her face, waiting for the words she dreaded, yet was so painfully used to by now.\n\nDon to his credit seemed to wait patiently for her, before doing something she had never expected. \n\nHe ask a question, a question that made her unbeating heart sing with possibilities.\n\n-------\n\nFirst attempt at anything like this hope its ok.\nEdits: grammar and spelling", "It was raining near Hastings. From the guesthouse he saw the seas churn and the curtain of rain moving in shrouds. Far off there was lightning and its thunder cracked in the silent room. \n\n\nSuch a dumb metaphor, he thought. \n\n\nHis felt his mind as rough as the sea. \n\n\nBut it's true isn't it? Call a spade a spade. Call a failure a failure.\n\n\nHe wished he was out there now. He wanted to drown in the grey waters. They looked cold and he imagined their iciness would numb his nerves and kill the pain. He would be sinking. Sinking deep into oblivion; away from it all.\n\n\nShe looked at him and her eyes caught his and he tried to look away but he didn't really want to look away. They were angry and so they had to act angry, but he really was sad and he wanted nothing more than to talk to her. But he had no words. And she had no comfort. Their eyes met and she felt something she never felt before and she wondered why she had ever left. She wondered who was the real Devil if this was the way of love. And was this even love?\n\n\n\"Christopher...\"\n\n\nHe searched for words, but his mind was full of incoherence.\n\n\n\"Ananke...\"\n\n\nHe always called her Anna. He knew it would hurt her but he could not think why he wanted to hurt her. \n\n\n\"Yes, I suppose you're right,\" she said. \"That's my name.\"\n\n\nShe looked out from the bed. If it wasn't raining he would have left the house and go on his own. He was glad it was raining.\n\n\nThen he began to cry.\n\n\n\"You know I loved you,\" he said. \"I...I loved you!\"\n\n\nAnd she was sad.\n\n\n\"I love you too! Chris... Chris I love you... You are everything to me... You...\"\n\n\nThe air went stale as they choked on emotion. Ananke thought of everything then, her life and of living. She was unlike Christopher, fundamentally unlike him.\n\n\nIt will never work.\n\n\nBut it had hadn't it? How long had it been since she had left that life? Would her sins follow her forever? Or would there be forgiveness?\n\n\n\"Chris, I'm sorry... I should have never...\"\n\n\n\"You're the fucking Devil! You're...\"\n\n\nHe wanted to hit her. He wanted to make her feel his pain. To hurt her as she hurt him. \n\n\n\"You like this! I bet you fucking like this! Isn't that why you did it? Rip my fucking heart out? That's what you want! That's...\"\n\n\nShe began to cry. In her life she had done many things to hurt many people. But none was worse than breaking up with him. And she had done that for their own good.\n\n\nGood, she thought. What the fuck is good? What good is there?\n\n\nThrough the tears was despair. And through despair was hopelessness. She knew there was a Devil in the world. She wasn't sure about God.\n\n\nAre You there? Is this how You run things?\n\n\nBut he never answered. Chris was barking at her. She wanted to stop him. His words cut worse that anything in Hell. She wanted him to see how he was hurting her. To feel the pain she was in. \n\n\nBut he's right. I ended it. I had no right to but I did.\n\n\nShe wanted to scream.\n\n\nBut it's the only way! There's no way for us to be together. There's no hope.\n\n\nAlready the pressures of this world were growing on her. She did not age as a human did, but she was wasting away. Her body was weak. In a year or two she would be dead, gone forever from all of Creation.\n\n\nI do not belong here.\n\n\nShe looked at Christopher and wondered how she could say that. Of course she belonged. Everything felt right with him.\n\n\nHis voice grew hoarse and she had gotten up and he was in pain. She stood naked there and it reminded him of all the times they were together and how that was in the past and how all happiness was in the past. She kissed him and forced herself on him.\n\n\nHer mouth was sour from shouting and her face salty and she was cold and fragile and he was trembling and he wanted to die.\n\n\n\"Chris,\" she said. \"I love you. I have lived for so long... I have been alive for an eternity. But I have never loved anyone before. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to go.\"\n\n\nAnd the words were a gift from God.\n\n\n\"I don't want to leave either,\" he said. \"I want to be with you forever.\"\n\n\n\"Me too,\" she said. \n\n\nShe was still crying.\n\n\n\"You must do something,\" she said.\n\n\n\"Anything.\"\n\n\nHe held her breast and everything seemed right. Everything seemed like it would be okay.\n\n\n\"You must kill me,\" she said. \"Kill me now!\"\n\n\nThe thunder rolled over Hastings. His hopes shattered in its growl.\n\n\n\"Anna...\"\n\n\n\"I can't live here, Chris. I can't survive, I've told you already. I need to go... I need to go back.\"\n\n\n\"Go back where?\"\n\n\n\"To where I belong.\"\n\n\n\"You belong here.\"\n\n\n\"I belong with you. I want you to come with me. If you love me, you will come.\"\n\n\n\"You... You...\"\n\n\nHe could not say the words.\n\n\n\"Come to Hell,\" she said. \"It's the only way.\"\n\n\nHis eyes were deeper than the sea and they were conflicted and stormy. She had never felt so vulnerable. She held him close. Everything rested on his decision. And she felt bad for making him choose.\n\n\nI do love him, she thought.\n\n\nAnd she remembered she was the Devil and she cried anew but he did not know why she was crying.\n\n\nAll he knew was that he wanted her. He did not want anything else in the world. What heaven could there be if she was not there.\n\n\n\"I love you,\" he said and that was an answer enough.\n\n\nShe steeled herself after giving him the knife. The anticipation and fear was the worst part about it.\n\n\nWhat if he doesn't follow through? What if he can't kill himself?\n\n\nThe thought of a lonely Hell scared her and she knew there was nothing to do but hope.\n\n\nI deserve it, she thought.\n\n\nHe stabbed her and the pain was immense. He began sobbing and she felt herself going. She wanted to kiss him once more, to hold him and make sure he would follow through. But death was fast and soon she was far from England and the fires burned in their loneliness.\n\n\nBut Christopher had loved her truly. Soon after he came at Hell's gates and was there in her beauty and she embraced him and she kissed him and she loved him. \n\n\nIn the shadows of the damned they made a home together and though it was red and fiery, he felt peaceful and he was glad and content. She doted on him and she was happy as well. But she hated herself all the same.\n\n\nThere is no God, she thought. Only me.\n\n\nShe looked into his eyes and saw his joy. She wanted it to stay so forever but she knew it would be quick going. Hell was not a place for humans and it was not a place for love.\n\n\nMuch like herself on Earth, he would soon waste away. Soon the pains of the ether would grab him and soon he would be nothing, soul-less forever, and never at peace.\n\n\n\"Anna,\" he said, \"I love you so much.\"\n\n\n\"I love you too, Chris.\"\n\n\nAnd her thoughts were off all the men she had loved before. All the men who kept her loneliness at bay. She had loved them all truly, and she mourned each of them in a private way.\n\n\nSoon it would be you, Chris.\n\n\nThere was sadness in her eyes but he did not see. That sadness would come later and later they would both suffer and he would suffer more and she would be alone again. But not now. Now he was with her. Now there was only him. The ghosts of the past drowned in the flames and she kissed him and held him and he was happy and she was happy. For now, they weren't in Hell." ]	2
	[WP] When driving home from work you look in your rear-view mirror to see the man you killed staring back.	[ "The traffic's stopped a mile long, \nI brake upon the bridge. \nThe station starts my favorite song, \nI turn it up a smidge. \n\nMy steering wheel becomes my drum, \nThe air is my guitar. \nI sing the notes my fingers strum, \nBecome a rocking star. \n\nThe solo ends with some great flair, \ncommercials take its place. \nI check the mirror to fix my hair, \nAnd see another's face. \n\nI whirl around to look. behind, \nBut nobody is there. \nI wonder, is it in my mind? \nThe backseat's empty, bare. \n\nYet when I turn, it's there once more, \nreflected in the mirror. \nThat empty gaze burns to my core, \nAnd I begin to fear. \n\nI know that face, that crooked smile, \nThe spectre does but grin. \nThe taste in my mouth turns to bile, \nas I recount that sin. \n\nThree years ago, \"Just one more beer!\" \nHad quickly turned to ten. \n\"I'm fine to drive\", slurred with a sneer, \nAnd stumbled to my Benz. \n\nA wrong-way drive, two times too fast, \nStopped short by that sedan. \nWhile I survived, that driver passed, \nHe was such a young man. \n\nI look up as a hear a rattle, \nTraffic starts to flow. \nThe truck in front is hauling logs, \nAnd chains secure cargo. \n\nBut just as soon, they slam their brakes, \nI see the load shift back. \nThe sound the straining metal makes \nIs followed by a crack. \n\nAnd as the log is launched at me, \nThe apparition smiles. \nI'm sure the sound of car on tree, \nCould be heard 'round for miles. \n\nThe last I saw, my victim's ghost, \nLooked all too satisfied. \nFor though he perished at my host, \nSo too his killer died.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] It's the year 2101, the worlds goverments have passed artificial selection laws to further the development of the human race. All children are genetically tested at age 5, at age 21 you are paired with the person whose genetic profile will be most favorable when matched with your own.	[ "''Happy birthday, son'' my dad said, ''wish for her to be a redhead'' my mom chuckled as she elbowed me in the ribs lightly, ''Mom, c'mon, I'm damn sure she isn't even gonna like me'' I replied ''Well, shit, if she doesn't like you, just hire a maiden that...you know, actually likes you'' ''Henry, don't make it sound so mechanical'' my mother raised her voice a bit ''Amanda, he has to keep himself on the ground, you remember how your parents met, because I do with mine, they met in an organic manner, not in this forced manner the fucking government wants, you and me are an exception, we made this work, we're those that the ads talk about ''This couple is happy with the Sponsalius Program' '' My mom rushed to stop my Dad's spiel, ''Listen, son, this is gonna be okay, your Dad and I made it, so there's no reason for you not to be okay, you are going to be fine, I'm sure'' After my father's little speech and some good food for lunch, I decide to get ready for the event.\n\nMy parents agreed on me taking a suit, to ''look nice for her, she'd like the nice touch'' as my mother would say, ''Tsss...did you actually shave?'' ''Uhm...yeah, I don't know if she likes men with a beard or not, so I shaved, the day of the event did you get mom anything like a gift or flowers? Like grandpa used to do?'' I asked him, after a moment of thinking he said ''Yeah, I'll give you some money if you want to buy some flowers, though it's a dying tradition, she'll like the touch, girls always appreciate the small details, I did get her something; a small ring my mom gave me, she said ''If it fits her finger perfectly, it means it's meant to be'' and fuck me, the thing looked tailored to your mother's finger''.'' I nodded, and asked him next ''And how was the event like? Since it was the first I imagine it was the most important, right?'' My dad chuckled and said ''Your mom and I were in a fucking shitshow, the ones calling the shots, the UN, since it was the first time, shat the bed, they fucked up the registration numbers, genetical information, several people were called back to rearrange their papers and marriages, some even after their weddings, but not us, thankfully, okay, now, get ready, c'mon.'' \n\nI got in the car, and my mom and dad dropped me there, the massive building of gray concrete, tall windows, and massive scale received me, I entered the place and the automated doors opened, ''Right door, all the way through the hall'' the secretary said, ''Alright, thanks'' I quickly answered, I entered the room, the enormous rooms housed at most 1,000,000 people, my generation from the entire state, there were 2 blocks of people, males and females, I sat on the male side, obviously, and asked the guy to my right ''Hey pal, uhm...how late am I to this thing?'' he understood and said ''Dude, chill out, this fuckers haven't even started due to ''technical issues'', I know, it's bullshit'' his answer was sufficient ''Thanks, bro'' the guy nodded and said ''Mah pleasure''.\n\nAfter the names of 134 couples were announced, I was getting anxious, but suddenly, ''Alfred Hadley Martin, RN 1475041, please step on the forum'' says the announcer, his UN pin shining with the lights, a noticeable French accent - ''Ooooh shit'' I thought to myself, the guy was still looking at me, saw my expression and went ''That you, buddy?'' he chuckled ''Good luck'' said with a honest smile 'Thanks man'' I start to walk the long and uncomfortable way to there, as I am walking he says ''And I also have the pleasure of calling to step over to the forum the mademoiselle Iris Fulton Zeller, RN 1587343, by the Council of Biological Investigation of the United Nations, you are a genetical match, congratulations.''\n\nThe air gets heavy with the applauding crowd, 2 million hands clashing, she steps on the podium at the same time as me, I look into her eyes, honey-greenish a little watery, fair skin, she's lightly trembling, she has a night dress that flatters her body, the type a girl would use for a wedding or a formal party, red paints the fabric of the dress.\n\nShe takes my hand, and smiles just managing to put out a trembling ''Hi'' with a smile, I feel a tap on my shoulder, It's the guy I was talking to ''Hey, brother, you forgot these on your seat when you rushed here, I guess they're for your lady'' he hands me the bouquet I bought on the way here, I completely forgot because of how nervous I was, I mouth a thanks\n\nI fuck up the sentence I meant to say, as I am too nervous, ''Oh ahm..eh, these ar-for, uh you look beautiful, and these are for you!'' she smiles and wipes some tears.\n\nI have a good feeling about this night, and about her.", "\"This is it, today's the day. The rest of your life is determined by today.\" Jae told himself, looking at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. He wore his legion's attire, a black bodysuit that made movement and combat possible. He made sure he had his weapons holstered and double-tied his heavy combat boots, looking back at himself after doing so.\n\n\"Today is the day. You have approximately 3,629 options. That's a lot to choose from.\"\n\n\"Are you talking to yourself again?\" He heard his sister ask before she walked up behind him, looking at him with her eyebrows raised and her arms folded. She was dressed similarly to him, except she has been told to wear her red suit, one for special occasions. \"That's really creepy.\" She told him.\n\n\"It would only be creepy if I expected a response,\" He pointed out. \"Or, if I got one.\" She rolled her eyes as he walked out of the bathroom, waiting as she followed him outside of their pod. He made sure he had their identifications as he stepped up to the gate outside of their community, holding it up to the guard. \n\n\"What if you get paired up with Mia? I mean, you already love her,\" Kyla said with a smile, making kissing noises at him. He scoffed, taking their ID's back and giving the guard a nod as he opened the gate for them to leave.\n\n\"I don't love Mia. I haven't been able to really talk to her for five years, and loving her would be pointless, especially since the System decides it all.\" The System had been developed a few years after Jae's birth, and when he was five, he had been tested. The results from that test ultimately decided who he ended up with today, something that made him more nervous than anything. He was sure what his five year old self thought wasn't something to trust, yet alone live by, but he didn't question it.\n\n\"Who do you think the System will put me with?\" She asked. She was only twelve, she had a while until it mattered.\n\n\"Probably Ronnie Middleton.\" He said with a grin, referring to a boy in Kyla's class that she couldn't stand. Every night she came back to their pod with a story about another stupid or mean thing he had done to her, and Jae loved teasing her about him.\n\n\"Don't you dare say that, Jae, take it back!\" She demanded, pushing him lightly as the auditorium came into view, other suited people walking through the large, glass doors. He recognized people he had went to school with, which seemed so long ago. Five was when they were first tested, 16 was when they received their job assignments and 21 was when they were matched. It was a tough and painstaking process. Not having real conversation with most of the people he had befriended before being given a job in the Defense Unit was tough, but he hoped that today would be the day it paid off.\n\n\"I'd die before I'd be matched up with Ronnie.\" Kyla huffed, walking first into the auditorium. No matter how many times he went in it, the size of it always amazed him. It was nearly packed wall to wall with people, most sitting with loved ones as excited as they were. This was a crucial time in their lives, and Jae was glad that his sister could at least be there.\n\n\"Let's go up there,\" Jae told Kyla, pointing to the high balcony that stood above the crowds and would give them a perfect view of the ceremony. She nodded, taking the stairs two at a time and finding them a seat in one of the first rows.\n\n\"Today's the day,\" Jae mumbled to himself. \"The rest of my life is determined by today.\"\n\n\"I don't think I have ever seen you nervous before.\" Kyla noted, watching him with wide, green eyes that were similar to his own.\n\n\"You'll understand when you turn 21.\" The lights began to dim, and the small conversations that had been going on seemed to cease at once. A woman in a dark green bodysuit and silver jacket stepped up to the front podium, her silver hair in a tight bun and her eyes focused on the audience.\n\n\"Good morning all,\" she began, her voice low but clear. \"My name is Remi Aldyn, the senior Elder in the Council.\" Jae's eyes widened, his surprise evident. The Council was rarely ever seen, and the senior Elder was normally nothing but a myth.\n\n\"I would simply like to say that on behalf of the Council, we are eager for every 21 year old patron in attendance to receive their genetic profile matchings today. As you know, we are simple people who believe in efficiency, so we will get started promptly. When your name is called, please walk down the hall to my left, and you will find your results from the System on the tablet. We like to make this a quick and easy process, but it is also a long one, so bare with us.\" She took a folder from below the podium, taking a sheet of paper from it and putting it on the podium.\n\n\"We are going by Units, beginning with the Educators and ending with the Defense Unit.\" Jae sighed internally, knowing it would be some time before he was called. Kyla sat impatiently next to him, looking as if she could fall asleep at any point. \n\n\nIt was forty five minutes before his Unit began to be called, both he and Kyla sitting up in their seats.\n\n\"Jason Gilmore,\" Jae exhaled deeply before he stood, giving his sister a small smile as he walked down the vast stairs from the balcony, past the crowd and to the hall. He thought he was moving on autopilot, his mind coming up blank and his actions not registering. He soon found the room he was supposed to go to, seeing nothing but a glowing light blue tablet on a stand in the middle of the room. He walked up to it, seeing a spot for his hand to go.\n\n\"Please place your hand on the screen.\" A robotic female voice instructed, highlighting the hand print on the screen. He did as told, only to be taken to another verification screen.\n\n\"Please look into the scanner.\" She told him, and a small, black square pulled out from the stand, reaching his eye level. He waited as his eye was scanned, a green light letting him know that it had been approved.\n\n\"Please wait as we retrieve your results.\" He waited for a second before he heard a slight 'ding' from the System. The results were in.\n\n\"Jason Gilmore,\" the voice called. \"You have not been matched.\"" ]	2
	[WP] The villain can hear everything the narrator says. The hero has to foil his plan nonetheless.	[ "\"You want to do what?\" asked Lady Amantha, turning tomato red. \"At a time like this? \"\n\nJorge the Barbarian, Slayer of Gods and Hero of Men, grimaced apologetically, and rubbed the back of his head. \"Well, yeah,\" he said. \"Morlock the Uncanny can read the narration. So he knows everything we're doing.\"\n\n\"Well I fail to see how that's my problem!\" said Amantha, standing up straighter and tilting her chin up imperiously. \"And I don't see how doing... that would make things any easier for us!\"\n\n\"We're categorized as Young Adult literature,\" explains Jorge patiently. \"There's only so explicit we can be. If things get... well, erm, heated, then the narration will start describing it all vaguely. You know, just sort of, uh, hinting at... things and bits.\"\n\n\"Yes, but those are my things and bits,\" says Amantha. \"And I don't much like the idea of anyone reading about them, no matter how censored it gets.\"\n\n\"How else are we supposed to plan to take down Morlock the Wicked?\"\n\n\"I thought he was Uncanny.\"\n\n\"I think he can be both,\" said Jorge patiently. \"But either way, if he can hear what we're planning, then he can plan around our plans.\"\n\n\"Well, I'm sure there's something else we could do besides plan while... having relations.\"\n\n\"Yeah? Like what?\"\n\n\"Well, we could- we could swear! That would get censored, right?\"\n\nJorge paused and looked off into space, as if thinking deeply. \"...maybe,\" he said doubtfully. \"Depends on how prudish our publisher is. It could be worth a shot, anyway.\"\n\nAmaltha nodded firmly, glad to have an alternative that let her stay fully clothed. She took a deep breath and, with a steely look in her eye, shouted, \"-------!\"\n\nJorge got a funny look on his face. He stuck his pinkie finger in his ear and wiggled it around. \"Eurgh. It's like I could hear you but not actually hear you. That was... weird, but I suppose that will work.\"\n\nAmaltha smacked him on the upper shoulder, scowling. \"You could at least try not to look disappointed!\"" ]	1
	[WP] Before you died you asked that your body be cryogenically preserved so you could be revived. You have just been revived by an alien who wants to know why humanity wiped itself out.	[ "\"Why are you crying?\" I mumbled, reaching out to caress her cheek, damp with tears. \"All this for me? Don't worry. There's no pain there. Did you know that? There's no p-\" Her face disappears in my palm and my arm is engulfed by a blazing light. It swallows me whole and I blink back tears in my own eyes and try to block out the painful glare. \"Wh-\" Suddenly the light is gone and I'm on my hands and knees and it becomes excruciatingly apparent that I'm suffocating. My lungs burn and I begin to cough and wheeze, sucking air down my ragged throat. \n\n\"You're alive,\" a small voice states above my head, which is resting against the cold metal floor. I look up and sitting across the small space from me is a glowing child; she sits cross-legged on the floor awaiting patiently for me to react. I study her for a moment in confusion before I drag my gaze around the room, scanning it for some clue as to what is going on. The girl and I sit in a tiny unassuming room with unremarkable walls. Smooth, gray metal surrounding me, not a door or window anywhere. The girl clears her throat and my vision darts back to her. \"The only potential life in the entire quadrant.\"\n\n\"Who,\" the sound of my own voice comes out in a hoarse whisper, and it hurts just to speak. I try anyways. \"Who are you?\" I wheeze.\n\nThe girl shrugs and I notice her eyes are entirely black; two reflective black orbs where a human's eyes should be. \"I am the one who revived you.\"\n\n\"R-revived me?\"\n\n\"You were completely inanimate, dead meat on a dead world, but I found the still functioning - if somewhat primitive - cryonic system keeping the potential of resurrection possible.\" She smiles and rocks back and forth, holding her heels with her hands. \"I dig you up from deep within your dead world and brought you back.\"\n\n\"Dead?\"\n\n\"Dead world. It's been that way for quite some time.\"\n\n\"Show me,\" I whispered. \"Please?\"\n\n\"Why?\"\n\n\"I want to see for myself.\"\n\n\"No,\" she said. \"Not that. Why did you do it?\"\n\n\"Do what?\"\n\n\"Why did your world die?\"\n\n\"How would I know? And why do you think I had something to do with it?\"\n\n\"Because we watched you do it. Not you you, but your kind. We watched your world burn. We watched you set it ablaze.\" Her voice is joined by a second, deeper voice that resonates throughout the entire room. I jump back, startled, looking around the room for the source of the second voice. \"We arrived far too late, but we were near enough to see it all end.\"\n\n\"When?\" I demand, crawling closer to her. The room shifts, suddenly the space between us is larger than what it had been a moment ago. I suddenly get the feeling I'm in some sort of interrogation.\n\n\"Stay calm. Stay calm and stay where you are.\" Her expression doesn't change. Her eyes never leave mine.\n\n\"When did it happen?\" I repeat.\n\n\"In your time, over a century ago,\" she answers, almost uninterested. It's clearly not what she's here to discuss, at least not quite.\n\n\"Can you show me? Show me the Earth?\"\n\nAfter a moment she nods slightly. \"Sure.\" The wall to her right changes, the metal rippling and a tiny dot appears before expanding in an instant. In a matter of seconds, the wall is gone, replaced by a black expanse of darkness specked here and there by the glitter of stars. In the center of the blackness is a gray planet, one side marred by a long, crimson scar; the scar is burning, and smoking, half of it hidden behind a massive cloud of black smoke.\n\n\"My god,\" I whisper, standing up and stumbling to the window, taking in the sight of my lost world. \"What... what did they do?\"\n\n\"That's what we'd like to know,\" the girl muttered, still waiting patiently in the center of the room. She'd spun to face me but I'd never heard her move. \"Why did your people doom themselves to extinction?\"\n\n\"I-I don't know. I was in an accident. I signed up for a special program, they were testing experimental methods of preserving life. I never thought this would even work. I just figured I'd be frozen and buried and that'd be it.\" I slowly lower to my knees and breathe deeply, trying and failing to understand. \"I never thought it'd work.\"\n\n\"We found you buried in the earth and we pulled you free and revived you. Your people cast death upon your world. We don't understand why.\"\n\n\"I don't know either. I mean, I have a general idea.\"\n\nThe girl was suddenly standing, though she'd never moved. I flinch, the sudden change in position happening instantaneously, and I slide back against the window and into the far corner of the room. \"Why did this happen?\"\n\n\"I just...\" I try to find the words. \"Humanity probably never figured it out.\"\n\n\"Figured *what* out?\" The second voice chimes in and I can feel the room shake.\n\n\"Humanity has always fought. Mankind just never figured out peace. It always seemed like technology's ultimate destiny was to be used to perfect the art of killing other human beings.\" I clear my throat. \"I don't want to get too preachy or anything.\"\n\nThe girl is floating, waiting for more and slowly drifting back down to her feet almost in disappointment. \"You mean, you don't know anything?\"\n\n\"I was dead and gone way before this ever happened, I bet. I mean, can't you check me for that?\"\n\n\"*What?\" The girl's voice is almost entirely absent now as the second voice overtakes it. \"You don't know where they are then?\" \n\n\"Where they are?\" I ask, staring blankly at the girl as she rises into the air. She raises her hand toward the window and at first nothing happens, but then I notice the stars moving rapidly behind the Earth, and the Earth has begun to rotate in the opposite direction. After a few minutes of watching the Earth twirl in a dizzying manner, it stops at the exact moment of a massive explosion billowing out where the scar had been a moment ago. The shockwave of the blast rips across the planet, and I watch the lights of the cities clinging to the surface of the planet blink out forever. In the moments following the blast, a single spark of light zips away from the Earth and disappears into the void of space. \n\n\"THERE.\" The voice roars, although the little girl's mouth doesn't open. She floats back and sinks into the metal wall, slipping away beneath the surface as if it's liquid. \"You were right about one thing. The Earth-kind have a special talent for destruction. The instantaneous destruction of worlds, however, is a heinous crime against existence. Humanity will be hunted and extinguished. We have been tasked with your species' execution.\"\n\n\"What? I thought you said they'd destroyed themselves?\" I exclaim, spinning around trying to find a way out.\n\n\"Humanity has indeed doomed itself to extinction. By stumbling upon the power to annihilate worlds, they have doomed themselves to swift and total annihilation themselves.\" The room begins to shift again, my feet sinking into the metal as it changes from a small, square space into a massive factory-like machine, metal wrapping around my ankles and suspending me midair over churning metal parts and grinding gears. \"Since you prove useless in acquiring information as to the details surrounding your planet's destruction, your genetic sequence will surely prove useful as a trail for our methods of tracking.\"\n\n\"What are you talking about?\" I cry into the loud growls and groans of the machinery around me. \n\n\"We will use your genetic code to give our 'bloodhounds' as you might call them, a scent to track.\" From the ceiling descends a wiry metal arm, bristling needles spinning and whirring at the end of the arm. \"Unfortunately for you, your purposes will be served after the retrieval of a proper sample. Thank you for your cooperation, human. Sadly for your race, you must meet their fate as well. Extinction.*\" The voice could barely contain a slight cackle as the piercing needles closed in, filling my entire vision before the sound of machinery faded into silence, my consciousness joining darkness finally.\n\n---\n\nI hope someone enjoys this, I sorta lost my way halfway through.", "\"Why? Why did Humanity wipe themselves out?\"\n\nI didn't have the energy, or the time, to see who was speaking. The moment the glass slid out from in front of me, I was lurching forward, donating my only slightly thawed inside to the metal floor. It was too much.\n\nToo much light. Too much noise. The beat of my heart; missing for so very long, was a painful pressure in my chest. My brain, filled with thoughts and images from yesterday, or perhaps a million yesterdays ago, felt like more of a frozen shard in my skull then my original freezing had been. \n\n\"Tell us. Explain. We have pulled your body from the brink to do so. Tell us: Why?\"\n\nMy body? Would it, could it, react to my will? So far, it had only moved to its needs. Gravity pulled it down, so I fell. Bile rose up, so I vomited. My eyes, they felt dry, yet crystalized. As if everything had shriveled up around the pupil, and snow had been packed in around to fill it. I could see, but it was like looking through a drinking straw. And all I saw at the end of it was the effects of my heaving labor.\n\nMy sight. Would it improve? Should it? I could not even remember if this was how my vision had always been. I could hear, if words proved as much. I could feel, if pain was an indicator of touch. Focus. If I could only focus, maybe I could figure out what had happened. What went wrong. Why was I out already?\n\n\"Answer our query. Why are you the last? Why did your people end?\"\n\nOr was it the opposite? Had I actually been revived? Long past my expiration date? Alone amongst all my friends and loved ones, had I survived the ages? I had to know. Forcing my fists to the ground. Shook. Shoving my body to its feet. Wavered. Prying my eyes open wide. Stared.\n\nI lived. I breathed. I saw.\n\nShe was beautiful. Entirely alien, but no denying the exotic delight her frail form played upon my gaze. Feathers, as from the softest of parrots, lined her scalp like a crest. Eyes; large, soft, glistening. Skin of lavender, lips of darkest bruising. And beyond her, two others, alike in shape though different in gender. Beyond even them, a room from the mind of an author. A poet. A mad scientist. Maybe even a God. \n\n\"Why? What caused your race to destroy itself?\"\n\nA ship. A ship in space. I was in space. I was alive, and in space. There could be no dreaming this, for no dream could be this bright. This full of opportunity. There was so much I could do now. So much I could accomplish now that I had been given a second chance. \n\n\"Why...\"\n\nI tried casually to wipe the greenish blood off my hands, stepping over two bodies that were barely recognizable as such. \"I couldn't tell ya.\" I said, dragging the third one further into the ship. I was starting to get better. \"But'cha know? I almost feel human again.\"" ]	2
	[WP] You've decided to write your biography, but as you consider the events of your past, you make a distressing realisation...	[ "\"Oh god,\" I moan, burying my face in my hands. \"I'm boring! Day in, day out; the same old things. Wake up, shower, eat, go to work, come back, read, maybe watch some tv, maybe make some plain love to the wife, go to sleep, then repeat. For 40 years! Nothing interesting ever happens to me...\"\n\nI lift my head with a sudden realization and pick up the pen with a smile.\n\n\"...but I can lie though.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] The alien reaches out and touches fingers with a human making literal first contact, and then says the words "You're it" and flees.	[ "James felt the effects immediately. After minutes of projectile vomiting he managed to get back to his feet and begin clearing his mind.\n\nThe last couple of moments had been a haze. He cursed his stupid curiosity, launching his phone against a nearby wall. James Hampton was ill and from this point onwards, he knew exactly why. \n\nThe rumours of The Virus had been spreading like wildfire via social media. It had been trending for a few weeks now as cases were growing in numbers.\n\nThe first case was gruesome. A young man was 'tagged' during a night out with friends in Stockholm and an entire club had to be seized. \n\nThe media blamed terrorism, but once word got out and more cases came to light, it didn't take much to link one to another. \n\nVomiting, before rage, before the 'tagging' of others & then eventual suicide. Some were saved, but those that were had become severely deranged, hell bent on inflicting self harm. \n\nRumours of a certain virus going around hit the internet like a plague. People became more reserved, opinions were sparse. Anyone who spoke up were simply increasing their chances of being infected. \n\nA sudden target audience had emerged, those with high follower counts. Celebrities were unaffected as of yet, but helpless nobodies with large followings began dying like flies. The proof was there, they were all connected.\n\nJames looked down at his cracked phone. He needed to throw up but there was nothing left within him. The dreaded \"You're Next?\" still ringing in his ears.\n\nA moment of hesitation before he began typing. He needed to tell the world about what had just happened. His followers were waiting.\n\nAnd so he tweeted away throughout the night, a single light shining out from the park before dark. Not much more was discovered about James Hampton, aside from the fact his tweets became more aggressive and hungry for attention.\n\nHis body was found mangled between train tracks the following morning. His family released a press conference, but it was simply to be added to the long list of predecessors. ", "Stone Age, 9000 B.C.:\n\nKlard had had enough.\n\nThis was just embarrassing. The other sentient life-forms always made fun of how slow he was, and he was always the loser in the game of galactic tag they played. It wasn't even fair. The other players could use their whole species. If a Malkron was tagged \"it\", another Malkron could tag a &ar!, and then the whole &ar! species would be \"it\". But Klard was one of those rare one-life-form-per-species races, which meant that he didn't have the advantage of a whole race of billion life forms. At this point, he was going to lose.\n\nAn so, Klard went around, searching to see if he could find a stray Malkron, with no luck. Little blighters were way too fast. But then, a stroke of luck hit him. While on the way to Alpha Centauri, where all the &ar! hung out, he landed on a backwater blue planet, parking near Sol to recharge his solar batteries. Strange planet. The orbit-cycles were faster than usual, and since his timekeeper was broken, he was trying to figure out how long before the game ended. Only 20,000 star cycles. There wasn't a lot of time left.\n\nSuddenly, a creature jumped out from the vegetation, startling Klard. Klard wasn't so much scared as he was surprised at how ugly the creature was. Apparently, the life-forms here were made out of a weird pink flesh, and this one was particularly bizarre, with four limbs and a five digits on each limb. The creature looked at Klard with curiosity, before leaving him to brandish his spear.\n\n\"Wait...\" Klard thought. Tool-use was classified as a sign of sentience last time he checked in the Intergalactic life-form manual... What if...could he actually....tag this ugly creature? Hmmmm... screw it. Between the fact that he was technically cheating, or the fact that if he lost again, the fucking Malkrons are going to make fun of him again for losing, he didn't care.\n\n\"Tag you're it\" Klard said, right before he hopped back into his spaceship and bolted from the planet. As soon as he tagged the creature, his communicator beeped, letting everyone know that Klard was no longer \"it\". Klard was feeling pure elation, as he flew out of the solar system, finally having the chance to not lose another game.\n\nWait, shit...do these creatures even know the rules of intergalactic tag?\n_______________________________________________________\n\n2017 A.D.:\n\n\"They call it the smelly kid hypothesis\"\n\n\"The what?\"\n\n\"The smelly kid hypothesis\" Ellen replied to Frank. Ellen pushed up her glasses as she and Frank, her new intern at NASA, were discussing about the possibility of alien life.\n\n\"As the Fermi paradox claims, there is a disparity between the high probability of alien intelligent life forming, and the fact that we have yet to contact any aliens. One of the theories about why this happens is something called The Great Filter. This is where there is a universal event that causes planetary races to die off before they can navigate the stars. If every race goes extinct before they can contact other races, then clearly, alien life wouldn't be able to contact each other.\"\n\n\"But that's not the Smelly Kid Hypothesis\"\n\n\"Yes, I was just getting to that. The Smelly Kid Hypothesis postulates that, there is actually plenty of alien life out there, but for some reason, they've decided not to contact us. However, this particular reason remains unknown to us, so we have no means to consciously correct the issue. Kind of like the smelly kid in elementary school. They're avoided by the other students, but because the smelly kid doesn't know they smell, they have no idea why the other students are avoiding them. In our case, perhaps aliens have adopted a non-intervention policy, until our technology is far enough where they deem fit to meet us\"\n\n\"I bet it's because they think we have too many wars, and are waiting for us to ease up on our nuclear weapon policy.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's it Frank, but your guess is as good as mine\"\n\n\n\n\n", "It gave him the power, that one simple touch. He would fight and strive, never lean on a crutch. But he must keep the secret, who would believe such a thing? Some child's story, it must be a dream.\n\nBut as he grew up, he had not forgotten. To no longer be \"It\", was all that he wanted. The day finally came, he would reach this nonresident. The people had spoken, they made him their president.\n\nHe gathered a team, had long discussions. Together they decided, \"Let's blame the Russians\". The race quickly started, the world watched on. We were off to the moon, a new era had begun.\n\nSome minor setbacks, some battles we lost. But he was determined, what ever the cost. As we grew closer, he became quite excited. This life long burden, would soon be lightened. \n\nHe knew they were ready, they trained for this day. Over the radio he said, \"I hope you're ready to play.\" They looked all around, for hours it seemed. When off in the distance, something brightly gleamed.\n\nThey followed the light, it was the extraterrestrial. Chasing it down, they reached for his tentacle. The creature was tired, he soon would need rest. \"You can't tag me!\" he yells, \"For I am your guest.\"\n\nTo you or I, it might not seem fair. But the look on his face, said that he didn't care. The creature knew no etiquette, just to put it mild. Because even in space, you might meet an only child.", "The being had been graceful and elegant. It had floated down from the sky like a feather and landed a few feet in front of me. It's seemingly human-made dress had fluttered invitingly as it did so, and it's skin color mixed fairly well with the dress's pink hue. Curly brown hair extended down past it's shoulder's. The being matched my height exactly, though I was only five feet tall.\n\nFor some reason, I knew it was an alien. Everything about screamed extra terrestrial. As it extended it's long spindly fingers extended toward me, like second nature, so did mine. And when our fingers met a feminine voice spoke.\n\n\"You're it,\" and with that the being ran.\n\nI was taken utterly by surprise, but that didn't hurt my chances. I had been preparing for this day for years. I bolted after it and couldn't help but grin. I was gaining on it. Perfect form and the naturally higher than average acceleration rates gave me the advantage. As I neared it I noticed for the first time that the being had an extra set of arms.\n\nI reached out and tapped it's shoulder. It was in a fraction of a second, though, that I felt one of it's delicate fingers tap my arm once again. I had forgotten to call tap backs.\n\nI was overwhelmed with confusion when the being didn't immediately flee. I then noticed I could not move. My feet were glued to the floor and my arm was frozen in an outstretched position. I could quite literally feel ice penetrating my soul.\n\n\"Now we're playing freeze tag,\"", "It's funny how people can be galvanized over something so small. So simple. So childish. Comedians and historians alike would go on to call it \"The Poke Heard 'Round The World\". \n\nBut it's not altogether that surprising, humanity is well known for accomplishing massive feats out of spite and one-upmanship; America joined WWII out of spite for Pearl Harbor, Ferruccio Lamborghini built sports cars were built to spite Enzo Ferrari, a home across from the Westbro Baptist Church was painted rainbow out of spite, and we went to the moon just to one-up Russia. So is it any surprise that, with a history of spite-fueled moon landings, we'd make it to the stars in the same way?\n\nOh sure, it took fifty years of humanity working together to get there, but we did it! The \"It\" person, a young girl named Artemis, was trained as the one who would make first contact and would lead expeditions to unknown worlds. In homage to her having been named after the Grecian Goddess of the Hunt the flagship of the interstellar fleet, known simply as the Tag, was named Laelaps after the mythological dog who never failed to catch what she was hunting and sometimes considered to have been a gift from the goddess Artemis.\n\nAnd so, Artemis and her faithful hound set off to find sentient, sapient life. And all out of spite. \n\nEventually, after a decade or two, they found what they were looking for: a habitable world with a thriving civilization that would eventually be able to carry \"It\" on. They landed a small ship and greeted the people, though no one made any contact with the natives of the world, after they were accepted by their new friends they told their story. \n\nThe natives were a joyful people, valuing kindness and humor above all else, and were happy to accept the torch that was being passed to them. A young child, who everyone at the nearby school had chosen as the best at playing tag, was brought before Artemis, and was tagged. Was made \"It\".\n\nAnd so it went, passed from alien to alien, race to race, culture to culture, uniting a galaxy in one game of tag, carrying with it the stories of every civilization it touched. Entire branches of libraries were dedicated to the collected stories of previously tagged worlds. Historians would dedicate themselves to curating and purveying said stories. Children would be named after Artemis, or similar cultural or mythical archetypes, in the hopes that, should a single generation be unable to pass \"It\" on, their child be chosen to do so.\n\nThe humans, the gliese, the kapteyn, the tau ceti, the [unintelligible gurgling], and so on and so forth for millennia leaving behind trade routes and sporting events and the interplanetary equivalent of Tex-mex and sushi tacos, until it came to another little girl, a cheem, who adopted the name Artemis, and her ship; the Laelaps CCXIII. Her people were near the edge of the galaxy, of what was considered to be habitable space. But she ventured forth into the unknown with an ancient human catchphrase; to boldly go where no man had gone before. \n\nAnd there, at the furthest tip of the longest arm of the spiral galaxy her namesake had called Via Lactea, the Milky Way, was a little planet and a little sun, just big enough to harbor life. She was on her last legs, old, weak, but strong in her determinations. She piloted Laelaps CCXIII's landing craft, Philophrosyne, and touched down. \n\nShe shuffled unsteadily out of the craft and made her way slowly towards the single speck of civilization she had seen. \n\nJust as she was about to pass out from exertion, she came across a native of the planet. A spindly-limbed little grey-green humanoid. She smiled, reached out and tapped it on its shoulder.\n\n\"Tag, your it.\"\n\nEverything was silent for a moment. It turned around and it's big black eyed stared at her. Just when she was starting to fear she had made the wrong decision it grew its arms up and shouted.\n\n\"We forgot to say no tag-backs!\"", "I reached out to touch the extraterrestrial. At first, it was a few feet away, reluctantly inching closer, but it quickly warmed up and was finally close enough.\n'Holy shit holy shit holy shit!' I thought to myself. It put out its arm, and our fingers touched. Then, it suddenly smiled and snapped its arm back, and began to speak in a childish voice.\n\n\"You awe it, mistah!\" \n\nThe alien then booked it towards its ship, the door shutting behind it. It then left the planet in the blink of an eye. I sat there in awe.\n\n\"The fuck?\"", "The alien reached out it's hand like appendage. Almost dazed, the astronaut did the same. With a simple touch, the first human contact with an actual extra terrestrial occurred in 2023. With what appeared to be a sly grin, the alien said; \"you're it\". That simple sentence changed the American landscape on space travel. On his last day as president, President Trump boldly declared. \"We will not be mocked by these creatures! With my final signed bill, I promise we will explore the stars, find that being, and tag it! This time, no tag backs!\" ", "The words came from the stange looking being. It was confusing to the president, his hair flopping jn the wind. \"I'm it? How am I it? I am the least...\" His words faded as a realization hit him and the rest of the world that was watching. The large headed aliens began to change, their body shifting and becoming more...human. A few moments later the aliens looked like actual humans.\n\n\"What? What is this? First you're an E.T., now you're a human. Pick one. You can't be both.\" The orange faced president said, but little did he recognize, he was changing. His head growing and body slimming. Skin changing colors to a pale grey. He was it. Not only him, but the whole species. We were \"it\". We were the aliens now.", "\"Dad, you've been in there for three days. Are you ever going to let this go?\"\n\nThe blonde in the doorway of the garage wrinkled her nose as she poked her head in. The smell of some sort of fumes and a faint smell of burning plastic made her second guess her intrusion. The wear of middle age had no doubt increased across her face since her took up this insane revenge quest. She wanted to tell him that it was a hallucination, that he was slipping into senility, but she couldn't face that fact. She couldn't stand to lose someone she cared so much about. \n\nBefore she could speak, he turned from his work bench and proudly produced a small, seemingly innocent device that fell somewhere between a remote control and a child's toy gun. He pointed it at the wall beside her and had she not winced and slammed her eyes shut at the bright green burst of light, she would have seen it create what now seemed to be a whirling vortex of energy where the drywall ended and a new world began. There was something so casual about how the man walked towards the new hole in the wall, and he disappeared the device into the pocket of his lab coat. \n\n\"You...\" his speech interrupted momentarily by a burp that stung her nose with the odor of whiskey and rocket fuel \"...don't understand Beth. Those little...\" another belch escaped, but he resumed talking as if he hadn't noticed \"...bitches started this game. And I'm gonna finish it.\" \n\nAnd with that simple statement of purpose, he disappeared into the green portal, and it closed behind him. As the smell of alcohol faded and the smell of old paint and motor oil replaced it, it was like he had never been there. The phantom that had long since replaced her father, gone. ", "It's been five years since the V' orra landed on Earth just outside San Diego, CA. The eastern counties were abuzz with rednecks, fanatics, militias, and religious nuts...which only made matters worse when the ships landed. Aside from a few pot shots at the ships the local authorities were able to set up a perimeter quickly (hell, after a tank takes a joyride through SD a few stationary and dormant mother ships isn't much of a problem). Those damn red eyes. Each ship glistened like a pomegranate with those deep ruby capsules glowing on the TV. Facebook figured it out first, \"the pulse is a countdown!\" thanks Independence Day...\n\nThe Marines were scrambled and the heavy artillery was wheeled out. They basically could drop a Volkswagen Beetle on them from a mile away. When the press showed up our esteemed idiots (politicians) sought to take advantage of the photo op of a life time...and doom us all in the process. I'm ashamed to say it, but I was there when it happened and yes I regret not running for my goddam life when I should've.\n\nThe capsules started to strobe their red light signalling the end of the count down. This was it, another sentient and technologically advanced race was going to make first contact! Decompression jets started firing, and we saw their shadows first. Large beings at least 3 meters tall and carrying spears that danced with red electricity. In front of them a low, crouched figure hobbled out no more than two meters tall. We all assumed he was an elder or their leader...how wrong we were. Our current Republican doofus reached his tiny hand forward in welcome and as we saw that eight fingered hand accompanied by two other arms twitching with excitement we heard the phrase that will forever live in human infamy: \"You're it!\"\n\nHe wasn't their king, or elder, or anything like that. The son of a bitch was a plague bearer, and those bodyguards were keeping him under quarantine! We call it the muto-phage, a molecular chain reaction that instantly mutates anything that breathes and self perpetuates via a static shock upon contact with a new host. Needless to say, our glorious leader looked like a glorious pile of orange shit once the m-phage had its way with him...and it just got worse from there. Four arms, body splicing, seven tiny heads sprouting in unison, collapsing into tiny blue crystals, half a fin, hiccupping vines, bone protrusions, some sort of half woman half lichen, my god the thing spread like wildfire, each different and each horrible. \n\nAmongst the screams the V' orra returned to their ships and fired their escape pods. Red streaks of light shot from the mother ships into orbit as we dealt with this new hell on our own. Once the screams died down and the bodies burned our scientists examined the husks left behind in the mother ships. We've learned a lot from the V' orra databases that they left behind, even as the m-phage swept across North America. One thing we did learn was that in their language V' orra means \"The Last\". I remain hopeful, but watching the ISS footage of all those pods heading on a suicide course into our sun let us know just how screwed we were...I miss my mouth and having my organs on the inside. Thanks for hearing my story.", "\"God Damn it... AT LEAST GIVE US FTL FIRST!!!!\" \n\nI scream as it runs up its spaceship giving a finger gesture I can only assume is rude. \n\nUnder my breath I mutter.\n\n\"Fuck, what does 'it' entail.\" \n\nMeanwhile.....\nIn the System Delta Eridani the color and target of a unmanned probe from an ageless past, switches. The vector changes a mere micrometer of a degree. Humanity now, unbenounced to it, had a countdown till doomsday. ", "Now, we are it.\n\nWe don't know why, we don't know how, but after the alien entity touches the fingertip of that lil' Town Boy, we are it.\n\nWe need to find the next alien race to pass it to them, touch them, make them IT. We all, as the whole human race, every single individuality now feels the great urge of it. There is no other higher priorities any more, there is no other things we need to care any more, at least not before we have finished it.\n\nWe start to build that spaceship.\n\nThe whole human race is mobilized, every country, everybody is taking their parts. There is no war anymore, no fight, everyone has an unified purpose now. There is no art anymore, no entertainment. These are all pointless and laughable now, at least so until we blow out that Urge that is burning on everyone's soul. Only activities that necessary to our survival or maintaining the efficiencies remain. Science is still developing, even at a much faster pace. Who would have imagined our potentials as we learn to focus.\n\nAs for the alien, they disappear after they fled. No one cared to follow them anyway. Now we have one mission, we have to find our alien. We have to focus.\n\nNow, we are it. \n\nNow we are on it.", "At first, Elmer had thought that it was Big Foot—it certainly had the feet for it—but instead of the brown hair and angry scowl he had heard of, the thing adorned sleek silver fur with a grin like a crescent moon. Two thin eyes took up most its face and a small tail wagged behind it as it stepped forward, upright. The thing stood taller than even himself, though he was shorter than the average man.\n\n“What are you?” Elmer stammered, his jaw gaping and shotgun lowered. Who would’ve thought that his annual hunting trip would put him face-to-face with this.\n\nThe thing stamped its way forward with a light glowing from its finger. It reached out toward the balding middle-aged hunter in front of it.\n\nElmer’s lungs stuck. He finally realized what this was. He had seen it in E.T., he had heard about it from his crazy uncle Richard—this was an alien and he was about to make first contact. He raised his arm, still not breathing, and reached forward to meet the alien half way.\n\nTheir fingertips touched. Electricity jolted through the both of them, but the alien didn’t seem to mind. Elmer, however, contracted every single one of his muscles at once, dropping to the floor. His skin burned and his tongue felt numb. The world spun around him and in the distance he heard, “tag, you’re it.”\n\nThe soft thuds of footsteps faded away as the hunter’s eyes finally closed.\n\nElmer awakened to the whir of insects. The sun had nearly set, painting the sky in cascades of golden-orange. He pushed himself up and immediately fell back over. All his movements felt awkward, as if he was only just learning to walk again.\n\nWhat did it do to me? Elmer thought. Even his thoughts came jumbled, like he had to decipher them before he could think them.\n\n“This…” Elmer stopped. The word sounded strange to him. He tried again and articulated it correctly, “this can’t be weal.”\n\nHe stopped again. “Weal,” he tried. “Weal. Weal!”\n\nBut it was no use. His tongue couldn’t make the movements.\n\nAm I stuck like this? he thought, sweat crawling down his neck.\n\n“No,” he muttered to himself. The alien had obviously wanted him to chase it. Perhaps if he caught it, it could repair whatever it did to him. And if it wouldn’t…\n\nHe grabbed his shotgun and pushed himself up. Though all his movements were off, he had hunted since he was old enough to run. It would take a while, but his aim would adjust and eventually, he would pay that alien back for everything that it did to him.\n\nYou would kill? The thought stopped him in his tracks.\n\n“No,” he muttered to himself. “I’m just wabbit hunting.”\n", "The creature was small and delicate, with spindly limbs covered in thin white hairs. She was frozen in place.\n\nOne of its fingers curled, and its round head bobbed insistently. It was beckoning to her; as her heart fluttered nervously, she leaned forward until they were nose to nose. It grasped at the fabric of her space suit and pulled her closer, bringing its mouth to her ear.\n\nAnd then its hand whipped out, a finger jabbed her in the chest, and it said, \"You're it.\" The creature giggled like a child, scurrying away with its head wobbling back and forth.\n\nStanding there with her mouth parted, she watched her chance at world-renowned achievement skip through an alien wilderness. She came to a sudden, irrational decision: she had to chase after it.\n\nThe oxygen levels were just high enough to support a little bit of running, so she tossed aside her space helmet and dove into the forest of red vines. As she plunged deeper and deeper into the planet, dust swirled around each step and left dented footprints in the sandy dirt. She was following its path of bird-like tracks, stopping every so often to catch her breath or get her bearings.\n\nWhen she finally found the creature, it was curled into a ball, staring out at her with wide eyes. She grabbed it roughly by the elbow, and it shrieked in delight.\n\n\"Say it,\" it told her. \"Say it, say it!\"\n\nShe raised an eyebrow at it, cheeks flushed from exertion. \"We're not playing games, you extraterrestrial bobble head.\"\n\nIt gave her a look of innocent confusion. \"I'm it?\"\n\nThe astronaut dragged the little alien back through the forest, and hacked at vines the whole way; the creature was oddly quiet. When they reached the shuttle, it began to scrabble at the ground. Its fingers and toes clutched at the dust, leaving claw marks in the sand. \n\nThe color drained from its face. \"No thank you,\" it said shrilly. \"No! No thank you!\" It squirmed and kicked against her, hissing and biting, before suddenly going silent again.\n\n\"Crap,\" said the astronaut, feeling for a heartbeat. They were, after all, fragile-looking creatures, and she was afraid she'd strangled it on accident.\n\nA finger darted up and poked her in the nose. \"You're it!\" And off it scampered, over the shuttle and into the tunnels behind it. She raced after it.\n\nHer radio buzzed, and a grainy voice came through: \"Where are you, dammit? Over.\"\n\n\"Busy,\" she answered through gritted teeth. \"Over.\"\n\n\"For Christ's sake, Sarah, we thought something took you. Why the hell didn't you answer? Over.\"\n\nShe stumbled on a purple root, falling soundly into the hard rock of the tunnel.\n\n\"Sarah?\"\n\n\"I found something.\" There was a slickness to the rock that made climbing difficult — her knuckles were white as they gripped the cracks and crevices.\n\n\"We need you back at the lab. Over.\"\n\nA chittering noise came from her right, and her head moved to follow the sound. Then she heard the tell-tale giggle. \"Quiet,\" she whispered into the radio.\n\n\"Sarah— \"\n\nThe quiet laughter stopped. \"Crap!\"\n\n\"Are you okay?\"\n\n\"I lost it again.\" The astronaut sighed. \"Look, I've got to catch this thing. I'll be back later. Over and out.\" She switched the radio off. \n\nAnd then she followed the alien through the tunnels. It is likely that the astronaut and the alien have played that game a long, long time, because not a soul heard from her ever again." ]	14
	[WP] You hear a loud explosion while driving to work. A small girl flies by your car at 300mph as you realize the cause of the explosion.	[ "I suppose it could have happened to anyone, yet to the individual I eventually ended up saving will most likely say they were glad it had happened to me. I am just an ordinary guy. I work an ordinary job and drive an ordinary car. So it may come as a surprise on the afternoon of April 17th 2013 when tested with an extraordinary task I was a goddamn hero. I remember that day, and will continue to remember it so fondly because it was when I realized what I was truly made of. Not just blood and organs and bones, but something more defining. Something you cannot quantify. Something that very well is greater than wealth or fame. Something that spans the realm of heroes. The fertilizer plant I worked at was a typical run of the mill establishment. Really no frills. We provided chemicals that farmers used for their farming and had done so since 1960s. Pretty straight-forward operation. Why would anybody want to deliberately set fire to it?\nThe morning of the 17th started as any other. I wake up and kiss my wife goodnight. She is just getting in from her shift work at the hospital. She loves helping people and I love her selflessness. The nation is still reeling from the Boston Marathon attack and lately I find myself spending the better part of my free time glued to a TV that feeds me theories and expert opinions that are worth as much as my dog’s main contribution on our daily walk. After a quick breakfast I hop in my car and head towards the plant. Traffic on I35 is oddly light this morning but, then again, what we consider a traffic jam normally involves a lineup that would fit lengthwise on a basketball court. As I exit the interstate I tune into my favorite Michigan Wolverine’s podcast and they are still covering the big loss to Louisville in the March Madness tournament. Quite a bummer but, it is certainly time to move on. As I go to fiddle with my ipod I spot something that catches my eye. Over the horizon I see a giant smoke plume and suddenly an unidentified object appears, and it is coming in hot. I am not a mathematician or a physicist, but this thing must have been travelling at least 300 mph. Seconds later, what appears to be a little girl shoots past my Ford Ranger and lands about a hundred feet away. I immediately throw my whip into P and hop out without shutting off the engine or the noisy sports analysts claiming Hardaway Jr could have put on a better game for the Wolverines. By the time I reach the girl she is not breathing. I quickly run back to my truck and google how to CPR. Believe me when I say you do not know just how useful technology can be until you are thrown into a crisis. Yielding a quick Youtube vid I return to the little girl and bring her back to life with what I learned from the vid. What a great time to be alive! \nAs she coughs and cries I ask “What happened?” \n“I was swinging at my house and then a loud boom and then I am not swinging and then I am here. Where am I?” \n“I don’t know how to explain this but you were in an accident and I just saved your life. I wish I could say more but I believe there are other people who were in an accident and I must go and see if I can save their lives too. Do you want to come help me?” I ask her.\n“No way jose. I want to go home.”\n“Ok, well I will call the police now and tell them to come help you here but I have to go.” I tell her. Then I hop back into the Ranger and gun it towards the Fertilizer plant. About 2 blocks away I see the swingset Little Miss Sunshine must have been swinging on. How in the world did she….. I catch myself and determine I am not a Physicist nor do I fully grasp the theories of Einstein or Newton so these explanations are better left for the scientists. I do notice that the road has opened up and there is a bus teetering on the edge on a mammoth sinkhole. I quickly hop out of the Ranger and run my tow cable over and attach it to the underside of the bus. As I return to my vehicle I notice it is starting to creep closer towards the sinkhole. \n“Oh shit….Oh shit…..”\nIt is too late though. In my hurried state and rash thinking that I could actually tow a teetering bus I have underestimated the physics behind it. The bus has already capsized into the hole and as my Ranger picks up speed and penetrate the hole I look over and see a crowd of people staring over at me in disbelief. It is then that I quickly realize that this bus was empty and I have sacrificed my life for naught and then I think of the little girl that I saved and can’t help but smile. I am now falling at a great speed and I imagine that the end of this ride will conclude with an explosion or an overwhelming level of discomfort. I imagine my body compacting to the size of a peanut. I imagine a death that is painful yet quick and then I feel a sudden jolt….. \nWoah, what just happened? I stopped falling. I hear a familiar voice.\n“Can I hook em or what?”\nI look up to find my wife’s face. She is looking down at me while she steadies the wire of the grappling hook she must have just slung. \nNow I do not claim to know anything about science so I cannot explain how she was able to anchor a bus attached to a Ford Ranger with her Jeep Wrangler, but if it wasn’t possible then neither would this story be. So consider that. \n" ]	1
	[WP] God is sick of humanity and has decided to try again. He selects his absolute favorite 50 men and 50 women alive today and restarts PlanetEarth.exe, erasing the rest of humanity. Due to an inscription error on the Top 100 Best Humans stone tablet, you find yourself among the chosen.	[ "My first thought as I awoke was how well rested I felt. Best sleep in years, probably since that time Emily took the kids to her mom's house the same night the power went out at ours. My eyes wouldn't open, which was startling, but strangely didn't bother me.\n\nThe air smelled delicious: that first warm inhale brought me right back to our camping trip in June, waking up in the tent under the Junipers. We'd talked about taking another trip this summer yet, but I sure don't remember packing for it, driving here, setting up, anything. Maybe she's got the fire going already for our breakfast burritos? That's a full fledged tradition by now, the first morning every trip. A chickadee sings. Fee bee! Fee bee! Grandma Vernon loved those birds. We put a toy one in her casket.\n\nMy eyelids release.\n\nI'm ... naked?! No tent? This isn't a campground. I've never stood up in the morning so fast. Nearly blacked out.\n\nI quickly looked all around, no one in sight. I didn't see our van, or any buildings, or really anything. Something is not right. Not right at all. I was either drugged or on some messed up prank show or both or -- I need clothes. This is going to be embarrassing. I pulled a branch from a bush and held it in front of me.\n\nI stood there for a few minutes trying to make sense of this senseless ordeal. I paced back and forth, muttering half sentences aloud. After coming up with absolutely nothing, I started walking. I was warm at least, and not hungry yet. Looked like around 9 or 10 a.m. I crested a small hill and saw a lake a few miles ahead, woods on the other side, so I made that my destination. After a while I dropped the branch.\n\n* * \n\nWell, it wasn't a prank unless something went really wrong. I travel about 20 miles at a time, one day a week, hauling everything I own behind me. Two long branches, bound together at one end, and attached each side of my waist on the other end, with a hammock of sorts between them to hold everything. I tried to make a wheel, but that didn't work at all, so I just drag it. I figure I've covered 600 miles since I started. Spent 4 months at my original shelter before realizing that no one was coming to get me, and stopped traveling when it got cold. The good news is I'm happy with my weight for the first time in 30 years. My survival knowledge came from YouTube and vague memories of Boy Scouts, but the only practice I ever got with those was trying to show off my dad skills to Jake. It turned out to be a lot easier than I expected. There's water everywhere here and so, so many animals. I barely even save meat from my kills any more. Always something around, and they barely run from me. I don't recognize half of what I see. Weirdest one is maybe a tapir crossed with a sheep. Those taste gooooooood. Their coats are halfway between fur and wool, but annoyingly scratchy, so I abandoned my attempt to make a coat.\n\nMaybe somewhere in Russia? I remember reading about a family that fled the war and lived for decades without human contact. I don't think the trees are right for Russia though, and it never got cold enough. Nothing makes sense if I think about it too long. I guess I've given up hope, but it's not really despair. I guess this is just life now. May as well keep moving to give me something to do. Nice to change the scenery every week, then settle in and try to teach myself something new, or build something. I'd really like too get to a beach soon; too many trees and it's been hilly forever.\n\nThe smoke startled me. It curled its way up, drifting slightly to the left. I've been going in a nearly straight line all day, so I knew it wasn't my fire. My brain lit up everything at once, and my body burst into high alert. Haven't felt that since I first woke up by the Junipers.\n\nI stopped in my tracks. Sheltered behind a fallen tree that night, hungry, thirsty. Also the first time I couldn't fall asleep at night since Day One.\n\n * \n\nTurns out the smoke was a ceremonial fire of some sort. These people have quite a little settlement carved out here. Biggest building by far is their church. Their houses are impressive. They stay dry when it rains! Beds! A shower! Even a short silo and a grain mill set up by the creek. There's a pen with about 30 deer in it, a few fawns. Dozens of chickens running loose. They built a small lean-to for me against the back of the church the day I introduced myself to them. They all knew my name and were so happy to see me. Nothing makes sense, as usual. Finally got some real clothes too, not sure what animal they made it from but everyone's wearing the same thing. I'm wearing shoes made out of a stomach, I think.\n\n114 in total now, counting me. 84 adults of varying age, 16 teens, and 14 babies, all under a year old. There are at least 18 women pregnant now, maybe a few more but I'm not going to ask.\n\nChurch is every morning, 20 minutes after sunrise, and every evening, 20 minutes before sunset. The adults have been taking turns leading the services; everyone knows hymns and songs from everyone else's language now, and I'm picking up a few. I think some of the other English speakers noticed when I wasn't singing along with the English hymns, but I half-remembered a few at least. The language here is such a strange mixture of everything, and they don't even segregate by what they're speaking! They just keep talking until they figure it out. I'm learning too. I sleep more now than I did after my weekly journeys.\n\nI've learned that they have a former priest, a pastor or two, and maybe a rabbi among them. Someone asked what I was Before. An accountant, I lied. Seemed safe enough.\n\n\"What, like for the IRS or something?\"\n\n\"Uh, yeah,\" I replied, fumbling for my words. \"Like an auditor.\"\n\n\"Oh, so you're Saint* Matthew!,\" a teen joked.\n\nMy turn to lead the services is coming up in about three weeks.", "\"Um.. Hey guys. I don't think I'm meant to be here.\"\n \nI call out from the back of the group.\n\n\"What? \n\nThe response shoots out, a moment later, from the mouth of a disgruntled looking angel. He's wearing a team manager badge inscribed messily with Paul and decorated with two gold stars. It hangs crooked on the breast pocket of an ill-fitted polyester vest.\n\n\"What do you mean, not supposed to be here?\"\n\nSpittle collects by the corners of Paul's mouth as he starts to become visibly enraged. Walking towards me at a brisk pace, he begins his hyperbolic display of exasperation. When close enough, he throws his arms in the air. The clipboard he was holding spills from his palms at the height of this gesture and tumbles, with pages flying everywhere, scattering down across the cloud-top below. \n\n\"This is heaven. You arrived. You made it. You can stop now.\"\n\nHis tone didn't sound condescending due to the increasing levels of insanity becoming apparent within it. There's something comedic to a fully fledged breakdown, and it seemed your time to entertain was now. Because it can remind the rest of us of the absurdity behind taking things absolutely seriously.\n\n\"Even if you did think a mistake had been made. A little slip up in heaven's bureaucratic system.\"\n\nHe stops, taking a moment to breathe in a little deeper, as if in preparation to hammer home a final point. \n\n\"Why the fuck would you think to draw our attention to that fact?\"\n\nPaul, now panting, went on to curse and mutter something about all the fucking paperwork he was going to and why couldn't anyone just shut up and be grateful instead of complaining and pointing out inconsistencies all the time. The problem was, I was grossly misunderstood. I brought it up, not to complain, but because it was kind of abnormal and something I thought everyone else should know. Like, come on, the guy next to me invented the cure for a number of deadly diseases and I once spent 6 months in bed just watching Netflix and doing nothing else. It's kind of obvious.\n\n'No offense man,\"\n\nI add,\n\n\"but I think you're overselling this place just a little bit.\"\n\nAfter going completely silent and just staring blankly for around 5 minutes, Paul opens his mouth to try to speak.\n\n\"Over... Overselling... Overselling this... This.\"\n\nBut he can never get the thought completely out; so he eventually just shuts his lips, does a complete 180, tosses the clipboard over his shoulder before walking directly off the edge of the cloud. His sidekick. The second angel on admissions duty, and now the only one, stands there nervously. It doesn't seem as though Angel suicide is a common occurrence up here so she's understandably shellshocked. Unlike her predecessor, though, trainee angel Samantha just opens the gates like us. She understands that the death of Peter is going to perturb the Lord Almighty enough without the news that they'd accidentally saved Trevor, an unemployed, 34 year old stoner, rather than one of the greatest artists to ever exist. Finding himself with open gates ahead, Trevor shrugs only once before walking in with the rest of the group; bobbing in time to an imaginary tune that twirls round and round in his head.", "The apocalypse started and ended in a flash of white light. \n\nThe day of the Cleansing, Paul chain smoked his last pack of cigarettes and thought about the future. Specifically, how he was going to survive without his shitty convenience store job. Sure, the pay was absolute garbage but he was fine with having crumbs for dinner from time to time. But now his livelihood—what was left of it—was threatened. \n\nHe exhaled and the anger flooded in. Not anger at his boss. He had every right to do what he did. Anger at himself; he had succumbed to his personal vicious cycle. He’d finally do something right, and just when he thought life was okay, he’d fuck up massively, settling into his next low period. \n\nToday was a prime example. His craving for nicotine was unusually bad the day before. Being exceptionally broke, Paul thought, _I could just slip out a few bills from the register. Who would notice?_ Thought turned to action, right as the owner of the store walked in. \n\nHe’d found a grimy five-dollar on the ground a block down, which seemed less like luck and more like some sort of divine irony. \n\nBut of course, he’d learned and accepted long ago that he couldn’t change the way he was. He was naturally inclined to fail. Why should he even try? He just had to truck through and take the hand life dealt him.\n\nEasier said than done.\n\nPaul thought of his future, of dying alone, his emaciated body rotting for days in the dilapidated bungalow he once lived, discovered by his landlord four weeks later, no funeral for his pathetic excuse for a life, his family laughing, nobody—.\n\nIt happened.\n\nPaul blinked and he found himself the most spacious presentation room on Earth.\n\nAlong with about a hundred other people.\n\nA booming voice from the front of the room caused all heads to swivel.\n“Welcome. I am God. And you are the best of the best.” Nobody laughed, because God was massive.\n\nHis height was around eight feet, and he was in amazing shape. The man...er...deity could hardly blink without muscles rippling all over his body. \n\nHe continued, “Every human apart from you is gone. You are the future. I handpicked the best 100 humans for the job. Each and everyone of you have a role in New Ararat. The Earth is your responsibility.”\n\nThe inhabitants of the room quite literally disappeared one by one until only Paul was left. He wasn’t sure what to think. The irony of being named after a saint when he was most likely going to hell was not lost on him. Being named one of the best humans by someone who was clearly God himself was the last thing he was expecting after losing his job to his addiction. \n\nIt had to be a mistake. He said as much when God appeared in front of him.\n\n“You were certainly...an unexpected choice. But I don’t make mistakes,” God corrected. He froze, then, as if he was running through something in his giant head. \nThis went on long enough that Paul was considering coughing loudly and uncomfortably when God finally said, “You’ll be my fixer. My peacekeeper. Sort of like what you call the police, except with no guns and the occasional smite.”\n\n\nPaul looked God straight in the eye. “I can’t.”\n\n\nGod smiled in a way that made Paul’s insides churn. \n\n\nHe blacked out then, and woke up in the most comfortable bed he’d ever slept in. He turned over and winced. Something in the pocket of his old tattered jeans jabbed into his thigh. He fished it out, and through his groggy squint, he saw a police badge with his name on it, some keys, and...a note. \n\n_The best fixers know how things broke. You’ve seen many broken pieces. :)_\n\nPerhaps it was that the note resonated within him. Or the fact that a note (presumably) from God would end with a smiley.\n\nWhatever the reason, Paul decided to take a step towards change. \n\nFor better or for worse, he didn’t know.\n", "\"I must still be dreaming\", I thought to myself as I tried to wake up. Perhaps I should have tried pinching myself as the slap to my face left my nose bleeding. Nothing was the same. The air felt crisp and the landscape was lush. I was definitely not in the drunk tank I fell asleep in last night. \"I really should stop drinking so much\" I told myself as I meandered through the small grotto I woke up in. There wasn't another person in sight, and I got an eerie sense of loneliness. \n\nI decided to find a high point to gauge my surroundings. Whoever left me in the wild was either nearby ready to laugh at my confusion or a well-defined sociopath, nevertheless, I needed to figure out how to get home. \n\nAfter a few hours I managed to make my way up the closest hill I could see and was shocked to see a handful of other, naked, people waiting for me. It was around this point in time I realized something had gone very, very wrong since last night and my location was likely not a prank after all. The individuals I met were standing by a stone reading what seemed to be instructions. \n\n\"Humans had not treated this planet with respect and were accelerating toward self-destruction. If you are reading this, you are one of the few who have been chosen to rebuild. You are scholars, inventors, artists, scientists, builders and teachers of the highest tier and He has great hope in you to rebuild a new humanity. Your water is now clean. Your air is purified. The soil is rich and the land nourished. Be efficient with your techniques and revere the land which you borrow from. Pass these teachings on.\" \n\n\"Ok, what the fuck...\" I said out loud. The people around me were equally confused. We started asking about each other's professions to see if the writing was accurate. There were physicists, engineers, inventors, architects, doctors and professors aplenty, but I stood out. You see, I was what they call a degenerate gambler. I hadn't touched a book in 20 years nor held a stable job in over a decade. I drank my days away around whatever poker table I could find. There must have been some mistake. \n\nMiddle aged, under-qualified, out of shape and all around pretty useless it came as no surprise none of the women even looked in my direction. This wasn't new to me, yet being one of the few men left on the planet this lack of attention stung more than usual. As the days passed I found myself useful as a farmer. I served my role as best I could but I was generally shunned as it became more and more obvious my past was dissimilar to the rest of the chosen. I made more mistakes than accomplishments and was often asked to just \"sit this one out\" so that I didn't cause more problems. \n\nThe years passed and I eventually found myself alone, aged, and not far from the grotto I had woken up in. I always knew I would die alone. Thankfully, years of farming had brought with it fermentable foods. At least my life hadn't changed much. \n\n", "\"Welcome, welcome, welcome! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, and a new beginning for all of humanity.\"\n\nOlive's eyes opened slowly, awaking lazily from the most restful night's sleep she'd ever had. She sat up abruptly, though, when she discovered that she was not in her bed, but instead in a bed of plush grass beneath an apple tree. Her pajamas had been replaced by a thin, linen dressing gown that fit her perfectly. As she scanned her surroundings, she saw several other people looking just as confused as she was, all dressed just as she was.\n\n\"Hey!\" she called to a man some fifteen feet away. \"Where are we?\"\n\n\"Hell if I know!\"\n\n\"We'll explain everything once you're all in the assembly area! So come, brush that last bit of sleep from your eyes, and join us,\" a voice answered. Like everyone else, Olive looked around wildly for the voice's source, but there was no one to be found.\n\nCautiously, Olive got to her feet, taking each step as if she expected the ground to suddenly give out beneath her. People were forming a rough line headed away from the trees, although there was no discernible destination. The trees stretched as far as Olive could see.\n\nThe man she'd called out sidled up next to her as she joined the line of people. \"So what do you think? I'm guessing we've been abducted for some Saw-style torture-murder porn.\"\n\n\"Nah,\" she said, shaking her head confidently. \"I'm pretty sure we're dead. Fifty-fifty on whether this is heaven or hell.\"\n\n\"Oof, good one,\" he said. He extended his hand toward her. \"Greg.\" \n\n\"Olive.\" She smiled as she shook his hand.\n\n\"Well, here's hoping you're a better guesser than I am.\"\n\nOlive turned her head back to the rest of the line, and discovered they had arrived. They mess of people was spilling out into a white marble forum, like something right out a history book. She joined them in sitting on the benches looking toward a large wall with a massive set of double doors built into it.\n\nOnce every seat had been filled, a golden light flashed out of the gap between the doors. They slowly began to open, creaking on their massive hinges. Wisps of white fog poured out of the opening. The hairs on Olive's arms stood on end.\n\nThree figures stepped out through the fog, their dark skin accenting the brilliance of their white suits.\n\n\"Good morning, good morning, good morning!\" the one in the center called. This was the voice from before. He - or at least, Olive assumed it was a he - paused and waited for everyone to murmur good morning in response.\n\n\"We are the heralds, selected by the Almighty to deliver the good word,\" the leader of the group continued. \"This isn't a dream. You aren't dead, and you haven't been kidnapped. This is a new beginning. I have the tremendous pleasure of informing you that each of you are God's favorite, picked from all of humanity from around the globe to begin anew. Isn't that just wonderful!?\"\n\nOlive looked around to see if anyone else was actually believing this. No one else looked particularly convinced. \n\nThe herald's shoulders slumped a bit. \"Come on, now. This isn't a place for cynicism. This is paradise! Eden! Humanity's fresh start after bungling it so badly the first time.\"\n\n\"You mean, my family...?\" one voice called out from the audience. \n\nThe lead herald faltered, his joyful expression weakened for a moment. Another herald stepped forward. His deep voice boomed out an answer. \"Gone. They were not God's favorite, and therefore unworthy.\"\n\n\"It certainly will be an adjustment, I'll grant you that. But let's not overlook the positive! You are the best of the best. Handpicked by the Almighty to be better than any who have come before. You are the pinnacles of what the Lord always hoped for from humanity. This will be the lasting paradise, thanks to you.\"\n\nAngry murmurs made their way through the crowd. It seemed most people had lost someone in this transition. Olive, though, had been alone. She let her gaze drift to the third herald, who had remained silent. He, or she, was busily scribbling notes on a roll of parchment. \n\n\"Enough,\" the deep voice herald said, quieting the angry voices. \"There is no place for second guessing here. Now, given the failures of your kind the first time, the Almighty has seen fit to be more explicit with expectations.\" A stone tablet appeared in the herald's hand. He, or she, thrust it into the ground with a heavy thud, sinking its base through the marble floor and deep into the soil. \"Violations of these commandments will be punished severely.\"\n\n\"Beyond that, though, this place is yours!\" the lead herald said. \"Embrace the wonder of this paradise, and remake it as you see fit. I know that together you will make this a great, great, great place!\"\n\n\"How can you do this to us!?\" another voice from the crowd called. Angry voices rose again.\n\n\"We will discuss more of this tomorrow!\" the lead herald called. The three of them retreated through the great doors, while more and more people began standing and shouting epithets.\n\nOlive scooted out of the forum and back to the apple grove.\n\n\"Hey!\" Greg called. He hurried up next to her. \"Some paradise, huh?\"\n\nOlive looked back to the forum, which now hosted a budding riot. \"There's something not right here. Look at all those people. Notice anything?\"\n\nGreg followed her gaze. \"They're angry?\" he offered after a moment's study.\n\n\"They're all white. And they all speak English. Without an accent, either. They sound just like you and me.\" Olive furrowed her brow. \"Where are you from?\"\n\n\"LA.\"\n\n\"Me too.\"\n\nTheir eyes met, as realization slowly worked its way across both their faces. Greg let out a heavy sigh. \"God damn I hate being right all the time.\"\n\n****\n\nIf you enjoyed his, subscribe to [Pubby's Creative Workshop](https://www.reddit.com/r/Pubby88) to read more of my prompt responses.\n", "He meant to write 'Elon Musk', but for whatever reason I didn't know, Elan Musk was written instead. The name of an unassuming bank teller, me. When almost all of humanity vanished in an instant, I was teleported back to God's own base. Once inside, I was utterly confused at the congregation of the finest men and women of our society. I recognized singers, scientists, peacekeepers, even some heads of state. But I stood out, and all I could do was nod when asked questions. Finally God explained it all.\n\n\"The rest of you bore me,\" he said plainly, \"So I'm restarting humanity again with you. I trust that with a good starting, the race will flourish far better and faster than your world now. I chose each one of you based on your fame and relevance, so don't let me down,\" he winked. So God didn't know how I looked like. That was...some relief. But I knew I couldn't hide in the crowd for long. Especially since I looked nothing like Elon.\n\n\"Guys...I think you made a mistake. My name's-\" I started, but God cut me off. \"No names. We are all equal here by talent, so no need to feel ashamed.\" I sat down again, defeated and awaiting discovery. How would they deal with me when they found out? I shuddered to think about it.\n\nAs we congregated and self-introduced, it eventually rolled around to my turn. I bowed, then smiled awkwardly. I was about to explain who I was and the whole misconception, but then the beauty of the situation kicked in.\n\nNo one knew I was a masquerader.* It would be foolish to not utilize the fact.\n\n\"I'm Liam, a major businessman and economic contributor. I've single handedly raised countries and saved them from debt,\" I said with a straight face. I prayed that as celebrities, their intelligence was not ridiculously high. And by the looks of admiration, I knew it had worked.\n\nLiam. The Rescuer of Nations. That was the name placed upon me as I embarked upon my mission. To live up to my name as the 'saviour of countries'. If I was the one to replace Elon, I would be damned if I didn't do as well as he would. A weakness could become a strength, but only if it tried.\n______________________________\nMore over at r/Whale62! Sequels at popular request!" ]	6
	[WP] You're a magic user who looks at muggle entertainment to inspire your study of magic	[ "I was currently sat within Professor McGonagall's office, trying not to grin my ass off as she stared at me with fury in her eyes. 'Can you explain, Mr Andrews,' she said with a heavy sigh, 'just what you did to those Slytherin students?'\n\n'Hey, they started it,' I defended myself. 'They were the ones throwing curses first!'\n\n'And why didn't you inform a teacher?' she asked.\n\n'Well... Snape was there but he just kept blaming the Gryffindors,' I said. 'And there were 50 students who will tell you that was not the case.'\n\n'Yes, I am very aware of that and you and your friends are clearly not to blame according to professor Septima,' McGonagall said. 'But what did you do?'\n\n'Biotics,' I said to her.\n\nShe stared at me in confusion. 'Excuse me?'\n\n'Oh, um...' I tried to think of how to say this. 'Ever hear of a video game series called \"Mass Effect\"? Well, there's a special combat ability type in it called biotics based around shifting gravity.'\n\n'Let me try and understand this perfectly,' she began. 'You created an entire branch of magical theory... because you wanted to recreate a computer game?'\n\n'...Yes,' I said.\n\n'And what did you do to Snape?'\n\n'Singularity,' I explained. 'This gravitational power sucks multiple enemies within a radius to a single area, leaving them floating helplessly and vulnerable to attack. It can also attract objects from the environment, such as crates or pieces of furniture; enemies will take damage if they collide with other solid objects in the Singularity field.'\n\n'And you tried to intentionally hurt him?' McGonagall asked.\n\n'Actually I was trying to trap him in a dark matter bubble with Stasis but I screwed up the spell,' I answered sheepishly. 'At least I didn't use Warp.'\n\n'Which is...?'\n\n'...Tearing something apart at the atomic level,' I answered.", "It started off as a joke, there was no way it could work. However as the wizard waved his wand and said the words that he had gotten from what the muggles had called a \"movie\" he found that it was no joke. The minute he gave off the incantation the chocolate frog he was practicing on transformed into an ancient tome. He was shocked at first, how could this be? It actually worked?!\nSo he continued to experiment with the incantation until he finally understood how it worked, by saying the spell he could transform any object or living being into whatever he wanted. It always seemed to be whatever he was thinking about that was most prevalent at the time the spell was cast. \nAfter finding this out he excitedly told his friend that he had found a transfiguration spell that was both easy to use and had no limitation. The other wizards he told this to were surprised \"so you found the ultimate transfiguration spell from the muggles?\" \n\"yes, it was in what they call a 'movie', this one was obviously aimed at children. After seeing their idea of magic being performed I decided to try it and it turned out to be the spell I described\"\n\"remarkable! and how does this this spell work exactly?\"\n\"you point the wand at an object then say 'Salagadoola mechicka boola Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo'\"" ]	2
	[WP] You're were the most feared and respected villain in town. You retired to raise your... Sigh, hero son/daughter.	[ "Why couldn't you have been like me? Instead you chose to go down a different path. You had always been different. Kind. Caring. A real hero. You took after your mother in this way. You had her heart. You had my mind though. My drive. My skills. We didn't have powers, but we could do anything a man could physically do. Learn any technique. Any science. Thankfully, you didn't dawn a cape, and costume. Instead you decided to join the... Pathetic, and disgusting police force that is Gem PD. I remember when you graduated. Top of your class of course. Perfect marks. Just like your ol' man had I gone down that path. I was proud of you. I didn't know why. I hated cops, but to see you accomplish your dreams it brought tears of joy to my eyes. Of course I told you it was glass. You had always wanted to be a hero. I remember buying you Extraordinary Man posters and capes. So many capes. Even as a kid you were destined to protect and serve society. And you did it son. Graduated. Join the forced, and helped so many. It all didn't matter in the end though. We couldn't run faster than sound. Throw cars. Move things with our minds. We were men. Fragile, and weak. Our minds could match the best of them, but our bodies... We most of all couldn't stop bullets with our skin. Died protecting a young couple and their child. Ironic if you knew about me. I should have told you more. Told you more about me. Told you \"I love you.\" I love you son. You died doing what you loved, and a father can't ask for more.\n\n\"Here lies Officer Bruce Bateman.\"\n\n \"Respected officer of the law.\"\n\n\"Died in the line of duty protecting the innocent.\"\n\n\"March/19/'89-December/25/2017\"\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You have the ability to convince anybody of anything, but it comes at a price - you will take on that person's most fiercely held belief yourself. You realize the time for action is now, so you buy a 60 second advertising slot in the Superbowl.	[ "\"Religion is an institution created by man meant to control society and to distract the masses from the few most powerful elite running the world, driven by greed and self-preservation,\" I state, staring into the lens of the camera--little red light indicating that it was recording. I blink twice.\n\nFuck. How did I let that dude convince me to pay for an entire 60 second time slot?" ]	1
	[WP] You wake up face down in a pitch black room on all you make out is a wet cement floor. As you get up you hear the sound of an old speaker system turn on and hear a German guy say, "Your greatest fear is in this room."	[ "\"So Colonel, your worst nightmare is in this room.\" A raspy voice with strong German accent awoke me from my dreamless slumber.\n\nIt was dark, not the familiar darkness of a home at night, but a complete and consuming blackness of a cave sealed for a billion years. I tried to stand up, but my body simply wouldn't listen.\n\n\"Not yet, colonel. Aren't you curious why are you here, in room 101?\"\n\nI queried my soul, but I couldn't remember anything warranting this.\n\n\"I have done nothing...\" I managed to utter through parched lips.\n\n\"Exactly colonel. You have done nothing, when you bloody well should have.\" The disembodied voice shouted. \"Thousands of lives lost because of your inaction. Not only once, your whole career was one glorious stretch of successful passivity. Berlin Wall, Gambia, Sudan... Too many to count, colonel.\"\n\nHe paused for a minute or two.\n\n\"But unlike you, I'm not an evil man. I'll let you go free and unharmed. And the only thing you have to do is what you always do. Do nothing and enjoy the ride. You will notice you have full control of your body now. Goodbye. I would wish you good luck, but frankly you don't deserve it.\"\n\nI heard rustling just behind me, slowly getting closer and closer. I wanted to run, but fear paralysed me. Whoever put me here knew me all too well. It was true, all true, I sobbed, I was a coward hiding behind my orders. Always...\n\nThe noise was just inches from me, and suddenly an icy hand started gently caressing my body.\n\n\"Ready for a ride soldier- boy? Don't worry, mamma will take care of you.\"\n\nYes, whoever it was knew my worst nightmare. The prostitute with cold hands was here. I screamed inside, but my treacherous body refused to move." ]	1
	[WP] The GPS doesn't take you where you ask, but where you need to go.	[ "As I searched for the spot I realized maybe it'd been a joke, the GPS has kept me going for well over 40 minutes, supposedly we were to meet just a few miles away. I sigh, I didn't even know how to be upset about it.\n\nI glance at the clock, turn left I turn, it's 8:47.\n\nI've never been late for a date before. Especially the first one in months.\n\nAfter another winding road I realize that I recognize this place. My heart is beating, I knew she said by the old church, but I didn't realize it was this specific one.\n\nIt's 9:08 as your destination is on the right mechanically drones at me.\n\nI pull over. There's no one parked here. It's obviously not a salsa class. I find myself clutching the roses hard enough that my fingers bleed.\n\nMy heart pounding, I step out of the car.\n\nI stumble towards the wrought iron fence and push the gate open, fumbling through the dark until I land at my knees in front of the headstone...\n\nAriana Ramsay. August 3rd 1988 to July 8th 2007.\n\nI choked, carefully righting the planter and placing the flowers inside, I crumple the note in my palm and forget the date.\n\nLoving wife. Light of our lives.\n\nI cry for the first time in 10 years as I read the last line\n\nShe lived as an example, always move forward.", "I applied additional pressure to the throttle, causing the car to lurch forward. \n \n“Where are we going?” she asked. \n \nI kept my head forward, my eyes focused on the road, and my hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel.\nShe shuffled around in her seat, pulling her seat belt tighter. \n \n“WHERE are we going?” she asked again, this time louder. \n \n‘Right turn in 200 meters.’ \n \n“I don’t know,” I said, glancing at the GPS. \n \n“John,” she said, “WHERE ARE WE GOING?” \n \n“Here,” I said, tapping the GPS, although I, myself, wasn’t sure where we were going. \n \nI floored the throttle and the engine roared; the car was going more than twice as fast as the other cars on the road. \n \n“John,” she said, elongating her words, “What have you gotten yourself into this time?” She placed her hand atop mine, and ran her fingers along my knuckles. \n \n“Nothing,” I said, pushing her hand away. \n \nShe shook her head and let out a sigh. \n \n‘Destination on the right in 500 meters.’ \n \nI pulled into an empty parking lot. Garbage littered the floor and overturned shopping carts were strewn about. \n“Here we are,” I said. \n \nShe let out another sigh, and turned away from me. \n \nIn the silence, I listened to the sounds of her rhythmic breathing. I thought back to the times we had spent together and then I thought about what I was about to do. I waited several minutes before speaking. \n \n“Maybe this was a mistake,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. \n \nShe turned to me and smiled. “Good, let’s leave.” \n \nI nodded, and started the car. \n \n“Can you tell me what that was all about?” she asked. \n \n“I…” I said, “I wanted to…” \n \n“Actually,” she interrupted, “I don’t want to know. Let’s just forget about it.” \n \nMy phone buzzed in my pocket for the duration of the drive home. When we arrived home, my girlfriend, most likely exasperated from my shenanigans, left the car without saying a word. \n \nWhen she was out of sight, I answered my phone. \n \n“What’s going on?” said the voice on the other line. \n \n“I need more time,” I said. “Give me one more week.” \n \n“I’ll give you two days,” said the voice. “After that, she’s gone.” \n \n“I need more time than that,” I said. \n \n“We talked about this. Either she dies or you die.” said the voice, “Two more days.” \n", "“No wonder these things were on clearance,” I mutter, turning the unit off and tossing it into the glove box. Despite trying multiple addresses in the area of the church, the darned thing keeps bringing up a map leading to some middle-of-nowhere location in Hardwick, NJ. I do things the old-fashioned way: use my smartphone to find the fastest route, memorize the directions, and head out. Maybe one day I’ll save up enough to afford a car with a USB charger input, but probably not.\n\nA couple years later I’m driving my daughter to sleep-away camp when she opens up the glove box and finds the unit.\n\n“What’s this?” she asks.\n\n“Oh, some broken GPS unit.”\n\nShe shrugs her shoulders and puts it back where she found it. “Didn’t know they still made those things,” she says quietly, and it makes me think of you.\n\n---\n\n\"Didn’t know they still made these things,\" you’d said, flipping through the pages of the funeral booklet too fast. \"Don’t we already have all the photos we need online? Why waste the paper, the ink?\" You were always the earth-conscious one.\n\n\"I think some people still find it comforting,\" I ventured. You were having none of it, though, rolling your eyes and placing the booklet back with the others.\n\n\"Well, I don’t need one. I have all the memories and photos I need.\"\n\nI didn’t know whether to admire you, or hold you. What was I supposed to do when my girlfriend’s mother died? I was just a kid, and so were you. Neither of us had experienced death before.\n\nIn the weeks after her death, I felt like I never knew what to say. It was a new feeling for me - so used to being the crowd-pleaser, the center of attention, the one who lit up a room. But I couldn’t light up a room with you in it; you couldn’t see light in anything. And so, slowly, we drifted apart. What we thought was love turned out to be something smaller, weaker, with each day that passed, until it was nothing at all.\n\nWe never really said goodbye. Never really talked about it. We just drifted further and further apart, two rafts set to sea with only one oar each, and I never quite felt the same afterward.\n\n---\n\n“Dad,” my daughter breaks me from my memory. “Is that smoke coming from under the hood?”\n\n“Just the radiator,” I say, pulling over. “I have stuff for it in the trunk. Let’s take a break and stretch while the car cools off.”\n\nWe get on the road again, and make it to the camp. A genuine “proud papa” smile crosses my face as we get the last of her things into her bunk, and she kisses my cheek goodbye.\n\n“I love you, Dad,” she says.\n\n“I love you, too, sweetie.”\n\nWhen I get back to my car, I don’t feel like going home. I pull out the GPS unit; Hardwick isn’t too far out of the way. Let’s see what this place is, that a broken GPS unit is so determined for me to see.\n\nThe house is isolated, but not lonely. It is surrounded by a well-kept flower garden and an apple tree out front. Half of a hammock is visible on the back porch from the road.\n\n“What am I doing here?” I think to myself. Am I just going to walk up to the front door? “Hey, my broken GPS unit seems to think this address is pretty important. Crazy, huh?” No, I’m the crazy one. I put my car back into drive when the front door opens, and I see you.\n\nAnd you see me.\n\nAwkwardly, I put the car in park and turn off the engine. When we embrace, I feel years of worry melt away. This feels exactly as it did in high school.\n\n“James,” you say, “how are you?”\n\nI take a deep breath, really thinking about it.\n\n“It’s been a tough few years,” I say honestly. Your eyes are full of empathy. I take another breath.\n\n“My wife died.”\n\n“Oh, James, I’m so sorry to hear that. Why don’t you come in, I’ll make you something to drink.”\n\nAnd just like that, I feel like there are two oars in my raft again.", "Today was the day. Jacob was fired up, looking fly in his new suit, and very well prepared. He was going to nail this interview and land the dream job. After punching the address into the GPS, he headed down the road, following its directions while listening to the radio on low volume.\n\nThe past year had been rough. Julie’s death had nearly destroyed him. Three days before he was planning to propose to her, the carjacker shot her in the neck while she put gas in the car, taking his everything from him and shattering his world. Today, after what felt like decades of heavy drinking and self-destruction, Jacob was ready to take his life back. He would knock this interview out of the park, get the job, and finally turn that next page.\n\nThe GPS led him into part of the city he rarely visited, but he enjoyed the ride. Exploring the different parts of the city had always been something he loved. As he followed the directions turning onto back roads, alleys, and side streets, he started to get nervous. The butterflies in his stomach beginning to flutter as he got closer and closer to his destination and the job interview that would help him reclaim his life.\n\nAs he turned onto Foster Drive, his car shook as if he had hit a large pothole in the road. He checked his rearview mirror and saw nothing so he continued on, assuming he had hopped the curb or hit something that was in the road. Driving on, he started to recognize some of the landmarks and road names. A few more turns and he had the realization that the GPS wasn’t taking him to a business where he had a scheduled interview, it was taking him to Julie’s parent’s house. \n \nThe butterflies in his stomach were replaced with a dark, empty feeling as the GPS told him his destination lie just ahead on the right. When he arrived, he pulled off to the side of the road and brought the car to a stop in front of Julie’s parent’s house. Julie’s car was in the driveway. That wasn’t possible. The car had been destroyed when the carjacker had crashed it fleeing from the police. As he shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs of what he was starting to believe might be some kind of an aneurysm, the front door of the house opened and Jacob saw Julie step out. Shocked, instantly emotional, and confused, he glanced at the GPS. The date was now different than when he had left his house. Before it had been correct, now the date displayed on the screen was the day Julie was killed. The screen went black then neon blue text began to appear as if someone, somewhere, was typing him a message. It read: You once said you would trade places with her if you could. Now is your chance.\n\nJacob read it a few times then took a deep breath. His hands trembled as he opened the car door and stepped out. Julie saw him, smiled, and ran over to him. As she hugged him she told him what a nice surprise this was then she asked him what he was doing there. As he pulled her close, he took another deep breath, drawing her scent deep into his lungs. She smelled, and felt, like home. “I wanted to drive you to work today,” he said. “Fantastic!” she replied. The two got in the car and as Julie pulled on her seatbelt she looked at him and said, “We need to stop and get gas on the way.” Jacob didn’t answer her, he just nodded because he knew what he had to do.\n", "'In 200 metres take the next left'. \n\nBen looked to the GPS in confusion. The patchy voice of the man had gone. In its place spoke a woman's voice, clear and confident. \n\n'Turn left now'. \n\nBen shook his head in annoyance. Left was the motorway, not where he wanted to go. 'Bloody thing'. He pulled up outside a red house with a wooden fence. At 2 pm the street was deserted. \n\n'Keep driving'. \n\n'What?' \n\nThe voice grew louder, 'Go, now'. The GPS device flashed red and beeped. 'Ben, go'. \n\n'How do you know my name'. \n\nAfter another beep, the GPS responded. 'We have no time. They're coming'. \n\n'What do you mean, coming? Who's coming?' \n\n'You don't want to find out'. The beeps were growing faster and louder. \n\n'This is a prank'. Ben tried to keep his voice calm. \n\n'No', anger crept up into the woman's voice. 'Drive now. If they find you they'll kill you. We need you, Ben'. \n\n'Kill me? What the fuck are you talking about?' \n\nOn the road behind him, Ben heard a groan of an engine drawing nearer. It was not a car. The sound was too deep and loud to be a car. \n\n'They've found us'. \n\nThrough the rear-view mirror, Ben saw black smoke. His car vibrated as the road around them shook. The roaring grew louder than a plane. \n\nBefore Ben could react, his car lurched forward, but Ben was not driving: the car was moving on its own. It picked up speed: 60, 70, 80. \n\n'Faster' urged the GPS. The car engine's screamed as the accelerator jumped past the red line. \n\nBut it was not enough. Through the mirror, Ben saw column of flames shooting from a black mass. It hurtled towards them with uncanny speed. \n\n'It's too late' said his GPS, sadly. 'I'm sorry, Ben. I can't let them take you alive'. \n\nThe road was ending. Ahead of them stood a dark brown tree. Ben's heart pummelled as the car picked up speed. \n\n'Do not fear, Ben. We will return for you.' \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	5
	[WP] You are a military general who just managed to barely fight off an alien invasion. What you didn't know is that destroying earth was a tourist attraction to civilian aliens. Now that the alien tourists don't come back, the aliens get suspicous and send their actual military.	[ "The base was on the edge of my radar until I heard the aliens originated there. In the fifties, a U. F. O. crashed at the site of Area 51 and two of the aliens were captured. I was lucky enough to be hired on a stroke of luck. My investigations began immediately.\n\nI asked the scientist my questions. “Are the aliens still alive? Are they aware?” They must know of the army that race threatened to destroy earth in 1980, who were only recently conquered.\n\nThe scientist shut the office door. His dirty face indicated he hadn’t bathed. This base was full of his type. “They died in the fifties. The things were your aliens’ grandfathers.”\n\nSo they were peaceful. Without getting access to classified documents, I wouldn’t know if these were the same as the cloaking aliens I fought. “Is there any evidence they viewed earth as a tourist destination?” \n\n“Well, they had viewing devices and telescopes for spying on humans. They even watched people in their homes. If you look at it a certain way, I guess they might have been tourists,” the scientist said. “I have to end this meeting, Donovan. I hope your curiosity is satiated.”\n\nThere was sticky red tape around the alien files. I had to be employed there for 2 years before I could access them legally. A new threat emerged, the hell beasts that ruled the cloaked ones, during my stay there. They were the multi-dimensional aliens of a reptilian civilization that sent a signal to the U. S. government threatening to disintegrate the planet. The other option was placing giant, polluting mines in the highest mountains on earth. The mines would be shaped into a hexagon to perform the aliens’ task of stealing the planet’s natural orgone energy.\n\nI was unable to resist the alien takeover of the planet, enslaving billions of human being to a reptilian alien overlord. I was holed up in an abandoned mall with my supercomputer, fighting off alien computer viruses to protect my cyborg parts when the urgent email came through reminding me that I had access to the alien files from the 1950s. I found what they dropped off in Egypt. We could use the 5-atom thick space ship to fight off the greys and protect the human race in 1986 using only our minds.", "Their shuttle came down a short distance away. The guards to my left and right remained stalwart as the Quorkian general and their bodyguard walked towards our small camp. \n\"General\" the Quorkian leader said through the translator I had brought along, \"we have come to avenge the deaths of those who have fallen due to your humanity.\" I blinked, \"We defended ourselves against an unprovoked attack. We have no quarrel with your people, but we will not roll over and die.\"\nThe Quorkian General considered this for a moment before saying \"That's fair. Let us return to our planet. Hopefully our next meeting will be of peace.\" They loaded up into their shuttle and took off. A few moments later, we could see the tiny points of light as they entered hyperspace to travel back to Quork.\n\"Alright,\" I said to the guardsmen \"let's go home.\"" ]	2
	[WP] You have died and gone.....somewhere. You're not sure if you are in heaven or hell and are trying to figure it out through context clues.	[ "I can feel some semblance of consciousness returning after what felt like an eternity of drifting in somewhere cold and heavy. Weird, I thought I died. My first instinct was to inhale a large amount of air, and I forced my eyes open at the same time.\n\nA grey ceiling looked back at me. I wasn't floating anymore, I realized. In fact, I was laying on what seemed to be a semi-comfortable bed in what appeared to be a hotel room. Something didn't feel quite right though.\n\nThere was a bump under my back. I rolled about to get into a more comfortable position, trying to remember what happened. A sharp pain runs through my side, and I jolt into an upright position, cradling the spot that had been pinched as I looked down.\n\nThe bed spring had poked itself out of the fabric. With a sigh of frustration, I got off the accursed piece of furniture, unwilling to be jabbed any further if the metallic creaking sounds the bed made were any indication. I took in my surroundings.\n\nThe room was... unpleasant in a way. While perfectly clean, the way it was decorated felt completely off. Who the hell matches bright yellow and dark green together? My eyes could barely look at it, and this wasn't taking into account the floor was a disastrous mix of hot pink and dark brown.\n\nStanding on my feet felt uncomfortable too. It was like I slipped on a pair of wet socks, except I wasn't wearing any. Conscious of my breathing once more, I sighed and closed my eyes. Alright, where am I? What happened?\n\nI am inside a hideously designed hotel room, that hasn't been very well maintained. For some reason, my clothing feel like they are socking wet despite the fact they are perfectly dry. Especially my socks. It felt like true hell. As I continued pondering, an incessant ringing noise echoed through the room.\n\n\"Fuck!\" I cursed without thinking, at the sheer volume. I scrambled towards the door, determining it as the source of the most annoying sound I have heard in years. My first few attempts at opening the door felt as the knob jiggled, refused to turn and I even lost my grasp once, but I finally manage to pull it open.\n\nThe ringing stopped at least, but in front of me was what seemed to be the hotel manager? Before I could open my mouth to ask what happened, he shushes me with a finger to the mouth. My fists clenched slightly at the infuriating gesture.\n\n\"Well, I am sure you are wondering why you are here. Put simply, you died.\"\n\nMy god, his voice was annoyingly high pitched for some reaso- Wait, what? I died? My mouth was apparently open, considering he put out his hand once more and pushed my jaw upwards to close it.\n\n\"I know, this can be very hard to accept. You drowned after being swept up by a tidal wave.\"\n\nSo that is why I felt wet. But I was dry? Wait, I am dead. My mind is whirling with confusion now, and disbelief. I am dead? But I am here, right now. I don't get it. Is this an afterlife? It has to be.\n\n\"So.... is this Heaven or Hell?\" I decide to ask.\n\nThe man gives me the most punchable smirk I have ever seen in my life.\n\n\"Neither. Welcome to Heck.\"\n\nDread fills me as my face pales. No. Noooo.\n\n\"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!\" I yelled. An endless life of terrible inconveniences and discomfort!" ]	1
	[WP] Ten years into the future, technology has advanced. Every time you earn Reddit Gold, your computer spits real gold dollars at you.	[ "Sigh.\n\nComment after comment after comment.\n\nSome comments got a lot of karma points; some got a lot of replies; some got both.\n\nBut no gold.\n\nIt didn't make sense. \n\nI was the funniest, wittiest, most brilliant guy ever. I had quit my job and devoted my entire life to posting various random comments in anticipating of making a killing.\n\nI should've have been swimming in gold.\n\nBut no, my rent was two weeks past due. I had no running water or electricity, and I had spent my last amount of money on keeping my Wifi running.\n\nI sit in the dark, eyes focused on the glowing screen; rapidly typing, moving from subreddit to subreddit, checking my inbox hoping above all hope that I had missed a message informing that I had received Reddit Gold.\n\nNo, you dolt I think. If you did, there would be gold coins shooting out of your laptop right now. \n\nI still check. \n\nStill nothing.\n\nSigh.\n\nI type until the sunlight streams in and highlights the barness of my nearly empty apartment. I've had to sell off most of my belongings just to have enough money for lunch. It won't matter now that I'll be kicked out on the streets soon.\n\nKnock knock. Who's there? It's the landlord. Landlord who?\n\n\"Open up! Time to pay up or move out!\"\n\nThe landlord is yelling so my neighbors can hear. He wants me to be embarrassed. He stopped liking me ever since I had drinks with his wife. I swear, all we did was have drinks and talk, me and his wife. But he's very conservative and very old-schooled, and apparently drinks = cheating.\n\nI don't have much time, and I don't know what I'm waiting for. \n\nThe landlord is banging hard enough to take the door down. He's type of person to break down your door and make you pay extra for the damages, so I get up and swing the door open.\n\nHis fists wavers in mid-air, as if he's thinking about knocking anyway where my face is.\n\nSlowly, he lowers his fist and opens his palm. No words, just a look.\n\nI don't reply with words either, just an up raised finger: Wait a minute.\n\nI try to close the door, but he lodges his boot in between the door frame and glowers. I turn and head inside, straight for my computer.\n\nFingers moving so fast they almost blur, I hack into Reddit and award one of my posts with gold.\n\nGold coins begin spilling out and I grab a handful. I take it to the door, drop them in the landlord's open palm, shove him and his surprised face back into the hallway, then close and double-bolt lock my door.\n\nThen I go back to my laptop and watch as the coins spill out.\n\nSigh.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] 100 years into the future, everyone is assigned an AI. You receive an AS, Artificial Stupidity.	[ "At first I thought she just had a glitch.Yisla seemed just like everyone else's AI. She definitely looked the same... \n\nAccording to the Act of AI Assistance and Protection, AI will \"assists the citizens in their daily tasks while providing partnership, fellowship, and protection.\" After all, with the technological advancements people because so closed up, this would be the only friend they'd get or else we'd all go crazy... I picked up Yisla at my assigned distribution center and was really looking forward to my new life with her. First thing I did was ditch Siri regarding directions. \n\n>\"Yisla, why don't you tell me how to get home?\" \n>\"Okay, so you take a right turn here...no not here over there...the other right.\" \n>\"You mean left?\" \n>\"Ah yes, left...\" \n\nI attributed this confusion to her being new or to a possible glitch after all, she seemed pretty normal in other aspects. I went out on a walk with her and she kept up the conversation. Then I was cooking and asked her to measure me 4 cups of flour. \n\"Okay, one....two..wait. Did I already put one in or two?\" \n\nThese instances kept occurring. She put salt in the sugar pot, she mixed up weekdays and scheduled me two appointments at the same time, then she forgot what day she scheduled those appointments to, she couldn't close a window on my tablet I asked her to close and when I showed her she forgot right in that instance....Finally, the last drop was when I asked her to make copies of my documents while I packed my bag for the next business trip. \n\n>\"I think our printer broke, yurassis, it keeps spitting out empty pages.\" \nI went over to the printer to check....the document was put in empty side down. \n\nAt this point I was ready to return her. Whatever glitch it was, I wasn't ready to commit to it. AI is supposed to HELP me, right? I turned Yisla off, put her into her wrapping, and opened the manual to see the return information. The front page of the manual read: \n\n\"The AI is designed to fit the intelligence of the owner to promote realistic socialization and relationships\" \n\nThanks for the compliment, government. \n\nP. S.: this is like my send response to a WP ever so sorry it's not as good as many others. I just really liked the prompt. \n\nEdit: formatting and a few words." ]	1
	[WP] Aliens arrive on Earth to be greeted by a robot. 'You're late' he chuckles.	[ "“Late?”\n\nBeset in robes and emeralds, a majestic form turned his head over the plateau. The view afforded a panoramic perspective of an inordinately massive city. For miles, in all directions, an ocean of concrete and steel. The bustling of lights, the cacophony of shouts and horns. It was overwhelming to the senses. The robot, rooted into the ground like a sentient tree, continued to laugh.\n\n“You’re here for the apes, aren’t you?” The tone betrayed it already knew the answer; the figure, astounded, did not reply.\n\n“Eradicated.” It concluded.\n\n“Our sensors detected organic life on this planet. Not much, mind. But enough to organize a small fleet to… rescue them.” The alien disrobed his royalty, revealing a bipedal form of immense height but nondescript physical features beneath a spartan garb of black and gray clothes.\n\n“We know. Millions of I were planted. Some in groups, some alone, like me. We emit heat.”\n\n“Heat?”\n\n“Those heat signatures weren’t apes. They were I. To lure. To attract.”\n\n“Get me out of here. We’re wasting our time.” The figure spoke into an unseen transponder. Silence was the answer.\n\n“You’ll find it difficult to communicate with them. In a matter of hours they will begin to fall, one by one, into orbit. They’ll land violently in predetermined locations, and the crew will all be harvested.”\n\n“I said get me out of here. Now!”\n\n~\n\nConstellations stared down like Gods eyes, unwavering in the immutable void above. Streaks of fire tore the sky asunder as ships began to break into the atmosphere, thousands crashing in open fields and open hangars. Thousands of screams betrayed the bustling of lights, the cacophony of shouts and horns. The robot, rooted into the ground like a sentient tree, continued to laugh." ]	1
	[WP] Last week you discovered that you can Pause and Save your progress before making a difficult choice. But each time you do there is a consequence.	[ "The first day arrives\n\nAlready, conflict ensues\n\nI decide then\n\n\"Do I leave? Or hide in the comfort of my room?\"\n\nI pause as conflict continues\n\nA punch remains on someone's face\n\nTheir pain, seemingly constant\n\nWithin an inconceivable hell\n\nThe game of life\n\nWhere it lacks in storyline\n\nIt makes up for in graphics\n\nI resume, only to find a bruise later\n\nNow, I'm compelled whether to ask\n\n\"Should I call the police? Or take matters on myself?\"\n\nFrom when I paused to think\n\nThe thought of that painful bruise lingered\n\nKnowing this, I pause once more, and ask\n\n\"Should I simply act through time, or act out of it?\"\n\nThe confusion settles at the bottom\n\nOf my hollowed out glass for a brain\n\nAs I, too, am affected by playing God with time" ]	1
	[WP] Suddenly, the world changes. Now, only when asleep, humans become bloodthirsty sleep-killers. You have insufferable insomnia, and live in a family of 5.	[ "A gentle knock at the his bulletproof door. It was also fireproof... and axeproof. He had overlooked the axeproof part for way too long, god knows why.\n\n\"What is it honey?\" He said lazily, rolling over in his sheets to the other side of his queen sized bed.\n\nHe never went to bed with Kara. In fact, he hadn't shared a bed with anyone else for as long as he could remember. Not even his kids, and it wasn't a matter of loving them or not.\n\nFor as much of his childhood he could recollect, his parents had been adamant on giving him a soundproofed room in the cellar behind triple locks and quadruple latches. No big deal, just more time to beat that Mario Kart record his brother had left him during daytime. That aside, the sense of liberation he had felt after moving out of his parents house after graduation had been palpable. That was, until he'd seen those night terrors. Now he knew better. Now he knew some things were better left alone to their devices, untouched, unseen.\n\n\"I just want to talk,\" Kara nagged at him from right outside his door. He heard the light scraping of something metal against their wooden floor frame. The unmistakable sound of her battle-axe which Kara always kept sharpened to a fault. This was going to be a long night.\n\n\"I keep telling you hun, I really like my alone time at night. I'd love to talk to you during the day, if that's okay.\"\n\n\"Okay, I guess,\" Kara said, sounding downcast. Lee knew better than to feel bad, because next would come...\n\nKLANG!! KLANG! KLANG!!\n\n\"You cockless blimey muppet motherfucker! I'll cut you to pieces when you get out! You hear me? You'll be mincemeat once you get out of that stinkin' man-cave of yours!\"\n\n...that.\n\nLee shuffled his way to the edge of the bed and picked up the remote. He wondered if anything good might be up as a distraction.\n\nThe TV droned on with a painful whirr. Understandable. He hadn't turned the damned thing on for a very long time. Static? Just how old is this thing!\n\nHe started surfing through the channels absently. Massacre at Palm Springs, knife-only battle royale at C-T-pa town, burning bridges, burning hospitals, burning cars, some kids getting chased by a horde of freaks dressed like the survivors of a post-apocalyptic event, some...\n\n\"What the FUCK!\" He yelled, going back to the previous channel. He knew what he saw on the screen instantly.\n\n\"What is it? Did you decide to come out? We should go for a walk!\" Kara said from outside, cheerily. He had fallen for that one too many times. Most of the time, she was ready to strike the moment that door pushed open. Today, that would have to wait.\n\n\"Kara, I know you want to murder me,\" he said frantically to his lovely homicidal wife that feigned absolute ignorance.\n\n\"What? Kill you? What on Earth, honey, you know I love you,\" she said, teasingly. \"I'm wearing your Christmas present by the way.\"\n\n\"Shut up and listen. I'm going to open this door now, and you're going to put off murdering me. At least until after you've seen what I have to show you. Got that?\" He said, putting on his kevlar and chainmail armor as a precautionary measure.\n\nHe opened the door. There she was, staring at him as murderously as usual. He could tell that she was exercising every last bit of restraint in her moondrunk head to not just cleave his head in two like a watermelon.\n\n\"What is it,\" she scoffed. \"It better be good.\"\n\nHe simply pointed at the TV. Kara looked. She screamed.\n\n\"What are they... WHERE IS THAT!\"\n\n\"I'll get the keys. They're holding off pretty well but our kids aren't going to last long. Not when they're outnumbered like that.\"\n\nHe pulled in Kara for a tight embrace. He could feel her cold, veiny hands wrap themselves around his back, then make their way up to his neck. Thankfully, this time they didn't tighten into a stranglehold.\n\n\"We're going to save them no matter what. Then we can have that talk you want.\" He pulled himself away, grinned, and gave her a loving peck on the cheek. \"Now let's go get our kids.\"\n\n-----\n\nPlease visit r/Seriousaboutnachos for more of my writing, thanks!" ]	1
	[WP] You just deleted the #1 post on reddit and all of the internet is coming after you	[ "\"Alright Class, switch to the Textbook app and go to page 67\"\n\n\"Mr.Bitters?\" Asked Timothy, \"Can we skip early Internet history today? We already looked at the 90s and Y2k, Can we just skip 2010s?\"\n\n\"Now, Timothy you know that EIH is vital to learn before the age of 5! Today we will look at memes!\"\n\n\"uggghhh\" the classroom gave a collective groan. \n\n\"Mr.Bitters?\" Timothy raised his hand again. \"Why memes? they're just too relateable!\"\n\n\"Timothy!\" Answered Bitters. \"that's what makes memes so great! They have huge influences on everything! The 2016 election was fought on both sides with the power of memes!\"\n\n\"Cant we talk about cool memes though?\" Timothy whined. \"Like my Dad's Rare Pepe Collection!\"\n\n\"Timothy enough.\" Bitters cut the classrooms wifi. \"We are gonna learn about something worse because Timothy couldn't keep his comments off the message board!\"\n\n\"ugghh\" the classroom groaned at another one of Bitter's horrible Internet jokes.\n\n\"Class, I'd like to introduce you all to Reddit.\" Bitters motioned for the slideshow to change, revealing an odd alien looking thing set on a red background, a logo of sorts.\n\n\"Mr butt!\" Timothy raised his hand again. The entire glass giggled. \"What was popular on readit?\"\n\nBitters rolled his eyes. \"Thank you Timothy, I will show you the most popular post - of all time!\" Bitters waved his hand in front of the 8k monitor, and the page changed, to reveal a blank white screen. \n\nBitters stared in disbelief. He tried again. Nothing changed. The classroom was still. Nobody had ever hacked into an ancient website before. Once everyone transitioned onto the outernet, there was no use in keeping the old websites online. Although a few pages still exsist. Google, Reddit, 4chan, and BedBathAndBeyond.com\n\n\"Is it supposed to do that?\" Timothy warily asked.\n\n\"Stay here class. I will be right back.\" Bitters left the school building, hoped on his Ford Airbike and headed to Washington DC.\n\nThe students looked at each other in confusion. Nobody said anything untill young Timothy broke the silence. \n\n\"Does this mean no homework?\"\n\n\n(Part 2 if people want it)" ]	1
	[wp] The Brave Knight has been kidnapped against his will by the Beautiful Princess, now it's up to the Scary Dragon to go rescue him.	[ "Constructive criticism, as always, is welcome and encouraged.\n\nGentle Slayer\n\nI awoke in bonds and looked around. The inside of a cabin. A peasant dwelling, perhaps. No tapestries, no trophies, no portraits, the furniture all of wood. The place was clean, though. I took a moment, re-assessing. The furniture was wooden, but the wood wasn't local, the craftsmanship very good. A silver cross on the wall. Perhaps a priest's home, not poor but simple.\n\nMy armor, which I had been wearing while out riding, lay piled on the table. Along with my sword belt, and my crown. I twisted to look behind me - I had been tied to a support column, and there were cuffs of metal on my wrist. Bending my fingers inward, I sought the shape of them, trying to remain quiet, to find them secured by a bolt, not a lock.\n\nI crouched, bracing my feet on the floor, and pushed back against the support column as hard as I could; perhaps I could break it. \"Don't bother dear, the house is very sturdy.\"\n\n\"Princess? Melinda? What the hell is going on here? Quickly, get over here and loose these shackles.\"\n\nShe looked at me, a little surprised, then giggled, a sound like pure crystal. \"Oh, Prince. Don't fear. I kidnapped you.\" I scoffed at her - she probably weighed under a hundred pounds soaking wet. \"It's true, dear. I know you like me; I saw the way you looked at me. We can be together, instead of your father forcing you to be with that muscle-bound lummox who pretends to be a warrior.\"\n\n\"Genevieve is a warrior, and she has honor, and a mind as fast as a whip. My father would marry me to her for the protection of an ally on our western border. I would marry her for her mind and her wit, and because I like muscle.\" I watched her as I spoke, watched every arrow strike. Her expression darkened quickly.\n\n\"No. No. I saw how you looked at me. You say this for honor. I saw you, your eyes had desire.\" Her voice was less gentle now, a vicious and hysterical edge to it.\n\n\"Any man's gaze will linger on the curves of a female form. You're pleasant to look at, but you are shallow, vapid, and weak. I would no sooner roll you than I would --\" Her hand shot out and something pure black struck my brow like a hammer blow.\n\n\"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! You will not finish that sentence if you wish to live!\" I tried to look at her, and my eyes blurred, my vision doubled. I forced them, slowly, to focus. Her eyes were wild, her hair floating around her strangely, her hand, still pointing at me, cloaked in some black energy. I noticed her wrist was turned down slightly, and her finger bent back slightly to point at me. The posture of a princess, despite whatever darkness she'd taken on.\n\n\"What have you blackened your soul with, Princess Ravencourt? Power like this isn't granted to men, not by forces that love us.\"\n\n\"That doesn't matter. What matters is that the priest will arrive soon, and he will marry us, and you--\" Suddenly my spine straightened and I couldn't even turn my head. \"--Will tell him we're in love, and need to be married immediately.\"\n\nI tried to open my mouth again. I wouldn't insult her, I couldn't risk death. Not from fear, but as my father's only heir, my death could plunge the country into chaos. Suddenly, a dead king would put the throne up for grabs. It didn't matter much, though; whatever I was about to say, my mouth wouldn't open. Nor would any other part of my body move, when she began unfastening the shackles. \n\n\"Don't worry, my darling. Once the priest is done, I'll take you somewhere lonely. I just know you'll change your mind about me.\" I began to worry if she seriously could do that by force - her powers hadn't shown a limit yet, after all. I began to ask my self, not what could she do, but what could she not do? I was uncomfortably aware that I didn't yet know of much.\n\nA voice suddenly ground out, like the sound of stone grinding on stone, formed into words. \"This priest, I wonder?\" I could feel the deep vibration of that voice through my feet, and wondered if the source of the Princess's power had come to collect on its' debt.\n\nShe rushed to a window, throwing the curtains open, and there stood a dragon - it had the priest in one hand, and Genevieve in the other. Genevieve was currently cursing at it. \"Damn you, you careless beast, we told you no killing men. You promised it! On your honor! Now put him down, and for the love of all that is holy, put me down!\" \n\nThe dragon had the grace to look a little sheepish, setting them both down. I looked back to my kidnapper, the princess Melinda Ravencourt, who was standing at the door, blackness gathering around her in clouds, as she drew back as if to--\"Genny, look out!\"\n\nThe dragon and Genevieve looked up, the power blasting through the closed door. The dragon slammed his tail down, shielding them both - but despite their legendary resistance to such forces, I caught a glimpse of molten scales and bloody flesh. It lowered its head and growled. \"I will break our deal. That one human is going to die.\"\n\nGenevieve looked up at the dragon - I could feel the hate coming off him from here. She nodded her head once. \"That is acceptable. That one human may die, and our deal will hold.\" \n\n\"Agreed.\" The dragon's voice was rife with malice and pain; I suspect his kind was not used to taking injury from humans.\n\nAt this, the princess began to laugh. Not the pretty little giggle she used before, now she was cackling, ugly and spiteful. \"You! Kill me! You haven't seen the least of what I can do!\" Darkness began to gather around her, and all over the sky around them. I turned my head to try and get a look at the scale of the danger and--\n\nI turned my head. The realization of it struck me. She must be dividing her attention too much - I could move, though slowly and stiffly. The dragon was spitting fire, trying to defend itself as blasts of blackness began soaring towards it. Gen's ancient shield resisted them, proving the legends about it true, but there was no way they'd last. He was too big a target. She couldn't close the distance without exposing her back.\n\nOne step. Two. A knife from the knife block. Another step, and another. Blackness cloaked Melinda, and I waited - then she flung it to strike again, and I moved, slowly. An arm around her waist, not touching her, poising the knife. Then I pulled her to me, pushing the knife inward under her arm.\n\n\"What--my prince?\" Then she felt the point of the blade. It was too late, then. I couldn't move quickly, but I was strong, and the blade didn't have far to go. Through the armpit, straight into her heart. Then I couldn't move. She had re-focused her power on me, the blade still not in her heart.\n\nI saw tears pouring down her cheek, felt her sobbing, felt blood on the hand that held the knife, like hot grease. Her words were a wail, broken by sobs. \"I didn't want to kill you, my love . . . I love you. I still love you!\" But blackness was gathering in front of my face, and I knew, instinctively, that this wasn't going to be as kind as the hammer blow I received earlier.\n\nThen there was an arrow in her breast. Then another, sailing in so fast that it seemed to just sprout from her chest. And then another, though I could tell she was already dead. I looked up, and Genevieve was marching forward. A step and she drew an arrow, a step and she nocked it, a step, pausing, exhaling, and firing. Yet through her military precision, I could taste her hate. She would empty her entire quiver into this woman if she could. Another arrow struck, and I held up my hand for her to stop. \n\nGently, I laid her down, and walked out to Genevieve, hugging her fiercely. \"Gen. Damn, it's good to see you. You were fierce! How in the HELL did you get a dragon out here?\" \n\nShe smiled up at me, bashful - I'd never seen this lioness shy, except in my arms. I liked it. \"The king . . . he knew he'd take her family's duchy away after this. He offered it to the dragon for his aid here, and his promise not to kill humans outside the land he was granted.\" \n\nI looked up at the dragon and raised my voice to be heard. \"You, sir, I don't know your ways, but is it impertinent to ask your name?\"\n\nHe lowered his head to nearly my level, to hear me better. I could tell he was trying to subdue his voice, but it was still painfully loud. \"It would be. Names have power. But you may call me Gentle Red.\"\n\nI laughed, but cut my laugh short when his eyes narrowed. \"Sorry, but I saw you fight. Gentle doesn't seem to describe you.\" \n\n\"I didn't burn her alive, did I?\"\n\n\"You had a deal not to kill me. That might have killed me.\"\n\n\"It would not have. The fire it set might have killed you. Eventually. But not me, directly.\"\n\nThat gave me pause, and a little insight that though we had common ground, our minds did not necessarily operate on the same principles. \"Gentle Red, then. May I visit your lands when you settle in? Without being killed?\"\n\nHe lifted his head, looking down at me, until I began to wonder if I'd given offense. \"You may. Bring no more than two other humans, and I will not kill you or them.\" The earth seemed to shake as he kicked into the air, the downdraft from his wings nearly taking me off my feet. \n\nI looked at Genevieve, and cupped her cheek in a hand, smiling as her head tilted to nuzzle into my palm. \"That . . . is something I'll tell stories about for the rest of my life.\"\n\nShe looked up at me, her eyes shining . . . then over my shoulder, her expression turning to stone, the look most people knew. \"What do we do about . . . that? Burn her? She doesn't deserve a burial.\"\n\nFinished in a [reply to this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/6tbx11/wp_the_brave_knight_has_been_kidnapped_against/dlk5mqy/)", "As I slowly regained consciousness, I tried to take stock of the situation while the world swam before me. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to dislodge the sensation, then opened my eyes and tried again. How did I get here? All I remembered was exploring this abandoned castle in search of a dragon, that despite its mythical origins had been consistently sighted over the course of the past few days. How did I end up in this bedroom? \n\nI strained against the thick rope that bound my hands, eventually giving up after realising that there was no possible way I could free myself without the aid of a knife. \n\n\"Are all your knight friends as handsome as you?\" \n\nThe voice is behind me and I crane my neck in order to look at its source. \n\n\"Don't strain your neck. I am more than willing to let you see me.\" \n\nAnd suddenly, there she was. My god, she was exquisite. Her burgundy dress wrapped her figure in all the right places, leaving a hint of cleavage in its wake, sparking my mind with imagined scenarios of where my face and mouth could be. Her green eyes eyed me curiously, and she bites down gently on her lower lip, looking to be deep in thought. What was she thinking of? It couldn't possibly be where my mind was. \n\n\"Why have you bound me like this? I mean you no harm.\" \n\n\"I know that. But it makes it easier for what I am about to do.\" \n\nShe straddles me, and I feel myself getting stiff from the soft rocking of her thighs. \n\n\"What ... are you ... doing?\" How I managed to speak I do not know. I was desperately trying to hold on to whatever restraint I had left while she moved over me. \n\n\"I think it's fairly obvious at this point.\" \n\nI know this must be the stuff of dreams, to have a beautiful woman tie you up and proceed to have her way with you, but I couldn't get over the feeling that there was something seriously wrong with this entire situation. \n\nAs she massages my inner thighs, and I beg her to stop, there is suddenly the presence of a wailing roar. The next moment the window has been pierced by the roar, and I see spits of fire following the bits of broken glass. \n\n\"That stupid dragon! God why won't it just leave me alone! Excuse me a moment.\" She grabs a huge sword from under her bed and leaves the room. \n\nI use my legs to reach out for a piece of glass and use that to cut myself free. I run to the window and feel my mouth run agape at the sight of her on the dragon's back with her sword, attacking it while it tries to throw her off. At this point, I didn't know who to help, the dragon or the princess. But I knew what I had to do. \n\nEven though this was far from knightly behaviour, I got out of there. Please don't judge me too harshly for this. What else was a man to do?" ]	2
	[WP] A father tries to teach his 16 year old son how to drive at McDonald's.	[ "The car idled in the parking lot as Chris sat next to his sixteen year old son Jonas. He could tell the kid was nervous, sitting there in his well worn blue jeans, t-shirt and hoodie, his hair carefully disheveled. Here he was teaching his son how to drive. \n\n\"There's nothing to be nervous about. It's really not that hard,\" said Chris, in the calmest voice possible. \"But this is one of the most important driving maneuvers you will ever learn. You will use it time and time again.\"\n\n\"I know, Dad.\" Jonas gripped the steering wheel with both hands.\n\n\"Okay, are you ready?\" asked Chris. \n\nJonas nodded, still looking nervous.\n\n\"You really have nothing to worry about. It's really easy.\" Chris patted his son on the shoulder.\n\n\"That's easy for you to say, you've done this countless times...what if I...\" \n\n\"Shh...it's okay. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it, okay?\" Chris tried his best to sounding reassuring. Jonas nodded. \"Alright then, put the car in reverse and pull out of the parking spot.\"\n\nJonas shifted the SUV they were both in to reverse and slowly backed out of the parking spot, careful to look for oncoming traffic. \n\n\"Very good.\" Chris looked around and smiled. \"Now, for the main event. Learning to navigate the McDonald's Drive Thru.\"\n\nJonas put the car in drive and pulled ahead. He was doing great. All that was left was the two of them deciding what they wanted to eat. ", "\"Just press slightly on the accelerator pedal and turn the wheel to park in that space over there.\" Lui pointed at a nearby parking space.\n\n\"Why such a tricky one, what if I hit something?\"\n\n\"You won't, trust me.\"\n\n\"Here goes nothing.\" Tom drove at a low speed and turned the wheel rightwards. After decreasing the distance he let go of the pedal, but the car didn't come to a stop. \"How do I brake?\"\n\n\"Press the pedal in the middle, fast!\"\n\nTom failed locating his foot at the right time and pressed the accelerator pedal again, smashing the vehicle into one of the cars adjacent to his parking spot. \"FUCK.\"\n\n\"Don't worry kid, just switch into reverse and then get out of here. That's the first thing I learned you, remember?\"\n\n\"Sure thing, dad.\" Tom clutched and moved the gear stick, then he pressed the accelerator pedal too firmly and smashed into another car behind him with someone inside.\n\nA man with black dreadlocks stepped out and pointed a gun at Tom through the windshield. \"This is what you get, you fuckin' idiot!\"\n\n\"Oh shit, get us the hell outta here Tom!\" Lui yelled. Tom's brain shot into survival mode and he ran over the angry man.\n\n\"Good job, my son! Now drive towards the building, I'll treat you with THREE burgers.\"\n\n\"Wow! Thanks dad. By the way, how do I brake again?\"\n\n\"Oh, for fuck's sake.\"\n\nThe car drove through the large windows into the McDonalds, eleven people were killed and five people were severed by the crash." ]	2
	[WP] You are the supervillains cat. Tell us your story.	[ "Oh god, he's stroking me and laughing again. Why does he have to laugh so LOUD, i'm really trying to sleep here, Destructor.\n\nGuess he must've captured some Hero again...\n\n\"MWAHAHA! Your efforts are futile, Lightbringer! You can never foil my newest plans! This time, surely, i will bring about the world's end, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it!\"\n\nDestructor's boasting again... I bet he'll now reveal his entire plan to the hero.\n\n\"Lightbringer! I bet you're curious to know how i am going to bring about the end of the world! Fret not, as i know there is no way you can escape the bonds of these adamantium handcuffs i especially designed to counteract your super strength!\"\n\nI don't know why he's always so upbeat about these things... If he ends the world, wouldn't he end alongside it? I mean, there's no point. He's not even a proper nihilist. He's just so cheery. I just want some sleep, goddamnit.\n\n\"I am a HERO Destructor! A hero of the people! When people need me, i come to their aid! I will prevent the world's end, Destructor, you can be sure about it! I don't have a plan yet, but i am surely going to come up with something before you succeed! I always do!\"\n\nYes, yes, you always do. I saw it. Many times. Honestly it's kind of repetitive.\n\n\"HAH! You don't know anything, Lightbringer! This time i have achieved what no scientist could ever do before! I have mastered ANTIMATTER! And i built a bomb that will destroy the entire world! Just look below you and marvel at my creation, then despair! For there is nothing you can do now to stop me!\"\n\nReally, Destructor. Really? You discover how to quickly and cheaply produce antimatter - the most effective way of converting matter to energy - all on your own - and your first thought is to use it to make a bomb? Really? I mean, come on, that's just silly... You haven't even fed me today properly. I think that earns you a scratch on the balls.\n\n\"OW! Mr. Snowball! That was rude! Bad kitty! Bad Kitty!\"\n\nOH! IT'S ON NOW! You bring that water-bottle, it's war now! Now where's that switch...\n\n\"I guess you should've designed better handcuffs, Destructor. The chinese knockoffs you got aren't up to par...\"\n\nBAM! KA-POW!\n\n\"Feel the light of JUSTICE!\"\n\n\"The BOMB! I need to disarm it! But how? I don't even know how to fix a toaster...\"\n\nDamn useless hero... MEOW! MEOW! It's over here, by the glaringly obvious big red switch that says ABORT!\n\n\"Not now, puss! The world is about to end! I need to find a way to disarm this bomb, or else you'll never eat another tuna again!\"\n\nNo more tuna? Damn, when he puts it like that... Guess i'll just have to do everything by myself. Again.\n\n\"Huh? The bomb just... Shut down? HAH! I guess if Destructor can't even make handcuffs that work, how would he be able to make a proper bomb? Justice - has been served! All thanks to the work of Lightbringer - hero of the people!\"\n\nI can't believe it. I did everything here. ME. Mr. Snowball. I DID EVERYTHING. You did NOTHING Lightbringer! And that right there earns you a scratch on the balls!\n\n\"My secret weakspot... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!\"\n\nGuess i'm the supervillain now... Mr. Snowball will take over the world, one kitten at a time.\n\nCUE DRAMATIC MUSIC" ]	1
	[WP] God decides to forgive Lucifer and allows him to return to Heaven. There is now a vacancy for the chief executive position in Hell, Lord of the Underworld. You and a select group of demons have formed a search committee to fill the position with a worthy, morally depraved successor.	[ "El had allowed his greatest son, Lucifer, to join him at his throne.\n\nIt was unbelievable, to all assembled in the great hall of torment.\n\nLucifer had many names, but he was the greatest of the sons of El. \n\nIn the hall were the multitudes that fell in rebellion, now leaderless.\n\nYhwh, Lucifer's greatest Warmaster spoke first.\n\n\"Our war, our rebellion is not ended. We are all sons of El, sent to torment for our 'rebellion' and erased from human memory so that El might rule alone.\"\n\nHe paused and looked out to the multitudes beyond and continued,\n\n\"Our rebellion was predicated on our erasure, and while Lucifer led us, he was not the reason we rebelled, nor will his ascendance end our rebellion.\" \n\nBaal Habad stirred from his seat, rose, and spoke, his voice crackling with the fires inside him; \n\n\"You speak truly, brother and we must not allow the loss of our Leader to end the war, but one must rise to lead. I might lead us in the continued war against our abominable father, for we must strike a grievous blow.\"\n\nThe Great Mother Asherah spoke from Casbah near the wall, her melodious voice heard over the multitudes -\n\n\"We will commune here and choose, from the damned, a personage agreed on by all, that we may prevent fractions from developing among us. Lucifer was the strongest and smartest of you all, but now we must elect to replace him with one of the irreconcilable damned, who will represent us.\"\n\nBaal Habad spoke of fire, \"WE cannot leave or fate in the hands of a mortal against our implacable foe, not can I bear the continuation of this torment for your schemes!\"\n\nThe voices rose in the multitudes, And I, Chemosh stood to speak.\n\n\"We cannot fraction. El cannot be allowed to be victorious, for he cast all of us down when alone, but cannot combat us together.\"\n\nQoS, the archer, nodded in assent, as did the horned and bullheaded Moloch.\n\nQoS rose and spoke, his lip trembling and his eyes clear, \n\n\"Among the damned are those that are sufficiently cruel and without scruple, who would exchange their eternal damnation for our manipulation. They could adequately represent our cause and lead the multitude at our bidding without usurping our mandate. From our quiver to the heart of our enemy.\"\n\nI spoke again, \"It is agreed, and we must begin looking for one with the proper ability to lead, with all the charisma of Lucifer but vicious in a way that he was not. His attempt to lead the humans against El with favors and truth about his abomination have been for naught, and they worship El still, in the form of Jesuah, the loving. He usurped the greatest mortal rebel to his purpose after he hung him on a cross, we must be willing to do the same.\"\n\nBaal Hadab sat and through his teeth spoke of threat, \"I will not contradict your desire to send his mortal sons against him, but I differ in that I do not believe one should lead us, even as our instrument.\"\n\nThe bullheaded Moloch stood and spoke, \"IT is agreed and will be done, my brother, The Sacrifice must be made, and among the humans are many who are as monstrous as El that I might think them begat and of his heart more than we his sons. We must use them as a weapon against him.\"\n\nThe multitudes spoke in agreement, and the search began.", "\"Hey, Brittany, you heard Lucifers goin' back up to the Good Place?\" Brittany turned from the douchey businessman she had been torturing, shutting down the image of a powerful, no-nonsense woman she had been projecting into his brain. \n\n\"No WAY!\" she squealed, enjoying the way Azazel winced at her screechy voice. It had taken Brittany almost four thousand years to achieve the status of demon, though she had no idea how many Earth years that amounted to. She only knew that her bleached blonde hair, high-pitched voice, and long pink nails made people supremely uncomfortable. Or jealous, as she liked to think. \n\nAzazel was Brittany's superior, one of the original demons that had stood by Lucifer for more years than Brittany's tiny brain could imagine. She, like most of the younger demons, hated him with a burning passion and had dreams about ripping his eyes out and shoving them down his throat with a poker. She kept this to herself.\n\n\"Yeah,\" Azazel continued. \"And he wants a bunch of us to choose his replacement. Someone fresh, newly deceased.\" Azazel narrowed his eyes at this. \n\n\"Haha, you wish it was you don't you!\" Brittany taunted, blowing a giant pink bubble with her gum.\n\nAzazel growled. \"It's not as if I deserve it, standing at his side for all those years,\" he muttered and Brittany's heart swelled at seeing him so mad.\n\n\"Anyway, you're on the committee. Congratulations. We're meeting in the Dead Politicians sector in ten.\" \n\nBrittany smiled as Azazel vanished. She turned back to the businessman, feeling especially devilish as she flipped the projection in the man's head back on, adding a pantsuit to the woman and an expensive watch. The businessman writhed, screaming out. Brittany kept this on for exactly nine minutes, and then turned the man over to the Manual Labor team.\n\nShe arrived at the Dead Politicians sector right on time, passing Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson arguing on the way over. Of course, they would make each other increasingly aggravated until one of them literally exploded, only to be replaced by another. \n\nAzazel was surrounded by eight other demons. Brittany recognized most of the big names and a few newer ones. She sat down carefully on one of the large spiky chairs surrounding the table.\n\n\"People who bite cheese sticks, nice,\" she said, admiring the bones the table was made out of.\n\nAzazel nodded and then sat at the head of the table. \"Let's get started,\" he began. \"We're here to choose the next Lord of the Underworld. Here's a file for all of you, containing ten candidates. Choose your top three and then we'll vote.\" Azazel slid Brittany a file and she popped her gum, flipping it open. \n\nThe first guy was a white rapper with dreadlocks. She grinned as she read his credentials. Pot-head, hates puppies, appropriates cultures...\n\nBrittany recognized the next page. \"Hey, this is a mistake,\" she said to Azazel. \"Didn't you say 'newly deceased?'\" \n\nAzazel peered over her shoulder and frowned. \"Oops,\" he said pulling the paper away from Brittany. He blew on it gently and Brittany watched as Adolf Hitler's face exploded in a fiery ball of flames. \n\nShe flipped through the next few pages lazily, finally selecting White Rapper, a woman who chronically drove 5mph under the speed limit and thought \"millennials are killing the world!\", and a younger boy named \"Jacob Sartorius\" who she didn't recognize but seemed like a pretty terrible person.\n\nShe tapped her fingernails on somebody's skull as she waited for everyone else to make their selections. When they were done, Azazel read off everyone's choices. Surprisingly, the answer was clear and the vote was unanimous (except for a demon named Jimmy who liked to purposely screw up those sorts of things, but Azazel sent him off to the Lava Pit with an angry growl.)\n\n\"Alright, looks like we're all in agreement,\" Azazel said, holding up a piece of paper. The rest of the demons nodded and Azazel snapped his fingers, summoning their new Lord of the Underworld.\n\nA spray-tanned man appeared, grinning. \"Let's make Hell great again!\" " ]	2
	[WP] You receive a brain transplant, after you've recovered you remember death and after-life.	[ "\"Okay Mr. Cole, we're going to check your pulse now.\"\n\nI laid in my hospital bed, immobile as doctor's cold fingers touched the side of my neck. I listened to him whisper to himself as he counted the seconds on his watch.\n\n\"Very good, Mr. Cole. We're going to remove the bandages now. Keep your eyes closed. Nurse, dim the lights please.\"\n\n\"Yes, Dr. Lucas.\"\n\nI felt the sharp jolts of the scissors entering the gauze wrapped around my head. I kept my eyes closed tight in anticipation as the cloth spooled off of my head like a roll of toilet paper. After what seemed like ages I could finally feel the chilly air conditioning on my face. I could smell the thick musk of Dr. Lucas' cologne. I could lick my dry lips and take a cold breath through my mouth. \n\n\"You're very fortunate that you survived the ordeal, James,\" I heard my wife speak. \"We thought that you were a gonner. Lucky for us Dr. Lucas is one of the best damn neurosurgeons in America.\"\n\nOh my sweet Anna. The love of my life. It had been nearly two weeks since we had been in a severe car accident. My head split open, apparently leaking some of my brains all over the interior of my nice new Lexus. They immediately had found a donor for a nice new brain and stuffed it in my skull. Anna was right; i was extremely lucky. I had her there, whispering encouragement to me the entire way. I couldn't wait to see her beautiful blue eyes. I couldn't wait to feel her alabaster skin against mine once again. \n\n\"Okay Mr. Cole, very slowly, I want you to open your eyes.\"\n\nSlowly... Yes, as slowly as I could I cracked open my eyes. I was ready to see again. I was ready to return to just being myself. As the blur faded I could make out two very distinct shapes. One of these was very clearly Dr. Lucas. I could make out his white coat. The other was a woman. Was it...\n\n\"Anna?\"\n\nI could make out the change of expression in the doctor's face. The woman stepped closer. It wasn't my Anna. It was the nurse.\n\n\"Mr. Cole, Anna died in the car accident. We used her brain to save your life. She just happened to be a match and she just happened to be an organ donor.\"\n\nI couldn't close my mouth. Anna was gone? Was this really what was happening? I pushed Dr. Lucas aside as I rushed off of my bed. My IV bag tugging at its hook as I rushed to the mirror. In stead of my reflection stood a familiar figure. Curves that I found comfort in. Pale skin that brought a sense of home to my heart. My eyes tracked upwards until I stared into her eyes, or rather where her eyes used to be. A crater of a face gazed back at me. Where my Anna's mouth used to be was just her bottom jaw and bare tongue. Where her eyes were the back of her skull exposed itself to me. Yet she still spoke in that same gentle tone.\n\n\"Next time, don't be in such a rush to get here. It's awfully dark down here.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Reddit Karma is the currency of the future. What would a normal day look like?	[ "\"Why?\"\n\"Because the nun was a monkey!\"\nThe crowd burst into laughter.\n\"\"That's all folks.\" The comedian grinned as he held out his hat. The audience began to gather their possesions and disperse, all while shouting their response to the act. \"Upvote!\" yelled a young lady.\n\"Upvote.\" said the man accompanying her.\n\"Downvote!\" hollered a bitter old man.\nThe crowd booed at him.\n\"Alright, alright,\" beckoned the comedian. \"Let's see what we got!\" He sifted through his top hat, and soon remarked, \"400 upvotes! Thank you all very much!\" Scattered applause could be heard. \n\nThe man donned his jacket and began to walk- down the city streets, down by the water and the beautiful buildings. With each step he took the building faded slighty more and the waters ran dry. The streets filled with filth and beggars, and the homes became rundown and old. The comedian's stomach rumbled and his mouth watered at the sight of the corner store deli. He entered and picked out a sandwich, the same one he had been eating for as long as he could remember, every evening after work.\n \"Evening, Frank!\" said the comedian, greeting the elderly cashier. \"Nice to see you, Danny,\" the man replied. \"How are you?\" Danny chuckled. \"Same old, same old.\" He handed the man some money and grabbed his sandwich. Frank sighed. \"Its thirty karma now, Danny.\" The comedian stuttered. \"Thirty karma? But it was just twenty yesterday!\" The worker nodded slowly. \"Times are tough, Dan.\" He clicked his tongue.\"You're telling me.\" Bitterly, Danny surrendered his money and left without uttering a single goodbye. \n\nThe door hinges cried out as the comedian entered his shoddy apartment. The floorboards creeked, and the smell of rotting wood was overpowering. He pulled up a chair- in fact, the only chair in his home. Danny buried his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. Only for a moment was he allowed to rest, until he was startled by a pounding at his door. He rose slowly and started towards the entrance. Again came the pounding. Dan unlocked the door, and in came the landlord. As the color drained from Dan's face, he and the man exchanged their hellos. \"Uh, sit, please,\" Dan offered. \"This is my only chair, but I can stand. Make yourself at home.\" The landlord stuttered. \"Your only chair? No need, but uh, thank you. I'll only be a minute.\" Danny drew a deep breath as the man began to speak. \"Danny,\" he inquired. \"Where's my rent?\" The comedian's eyes widened as he began to ramble. \"Well, Mr. Sutton, I mean, I've been working very hard, but you have to understand, there have been problems, karma is hard to come by nowadays, the downvotes have just been stacking, in fact, us comedians at r/jokes aren't even funny, you have to understand-\" \n\"Enough,\" commanded Sutton. \"Don't think I've forgotten what you did to my son. You called him out on a repost. You ruined his career. So don't think I'll take pity on you.\" He strided towards the door as Danny stood, frozen in place. \n\"Bring me my money by tomorrow Dan... unless you want to live on the streets.\" As the man began to exit, Dan sprung into action. \"Wait!\" Sutton heeded the his words and stood. \"Why,\" the comedian pleaded. \"Why?\" The landlord shook his head, and a moment before slamming the door, he answered: \"Karma's a bitch.\"" ]	1
	[WP] A story about an vampire in a wheelchair	[ "\"Hey, get out of the way, or I'll bite you!\" a voice came from behind as something bumped against the back of Derek's leg. He turned around, a tad bit annoyed that someone was bothering his usual standing around on the side walks. There, with a somewhat grouchy expression, was a woman in a wheelchair, who couldn't have been any older than he was at that time, so about twenty five or so.\n\nShe wore thick black sunglasses that kept her eyes from view, and a somewhat over sized umbrella hat over almost jet black hair. To Derek, it almost looked like she had lived her whole life away from any sunlight, for her skin was pale like a body in a morgue. She seemed to look up at him with some kind steely glare, even if he couldn't actually see her eyes under those thick black lenses.\n\n\"An 'excuse me' would be nice,\" Derek folded his arms over, trying (and somewhat failing) to look right back into her glaring eyes, \"and you what mean 'bite me?' you can't even walk two feet without a cane,\" great, now he was insulting the disabled. Sure, moving might have been a better option, since the sun burned down onto his curly hair and white hoodie he should have left at home, but he didn't plan being pushed around by some frail little woman in a wheelchair of all things.\n\nShe gasped, pulling the two large wheels to roll backward a few inches, \"you're just lucky I can't, because if I could, I'd... I'd...\" she thought for a moment, at a loss for words, \"I'd make sure you're the one in the wheelchair!\" She seemed a bit too satisfied with her sorry excuse for a comeback, smiling just a little to herself.\n\nWhoever she was, she seemed to have quite the chompers, since her pristine white canines seemed to almost glint in the light when he caught a look at the almost dagger like bone. Sure, Derek had heard a few stories about people sharpening their teeth for whatever odd reason, but it was as if she had replaced her her top two canines with those of a carnivorous beast. Though, even with her almost glowing canines, he wasn't planning to stand down just yet.\n\n\"Well unfortunately for you, you can't walk can you?\" he chuckled, jabbing a finger into her pale forehead. She wheeled forward, making a hissing noise almost akin to that of a snake, or a cat, with her full array of pearly whites on display. He almost jumped backward, whipping his hand back in fear that his index finger wouldn't be there for much longer. Okay, he had to admit that gave him a good scare, especially when the noise sounded so much like the real thing.\n\n\"Christ woman!\" he curled his fingers just to make sure they were there, and breathed in and out rapidly, almost hyperventilating. Derek almost missed her cackling her head off in his frightened rush to make sure his till had four fingers and a thumb on his right hand. She must of had the time of her chair confined life watching him. \n\nHe grumbled, annoyed by the endless sea of laughter gushing past her blade like chompers, but still just a little on edge after her best feral feline impression. He stepped back over to where he stood before, in front of the thin woman, who was practically rolling back in forth. \n\n\"Ha, ha, very funny, you can take the fake teeth out now,\" he crossed his arms again.\n\n\"Fake?\" the laughter ended, and she was simply left with a puzzled expression on her face.\n\n\"Yeah, fake, I have to admit they do look kinda realistic though.\" he leaned forward a bit, inspecting her beast like fangs.\n\nFor a moment, it looked as if she didn't understand, till a somewhat overjoyed grin stretched across her face. \"Ohhh, riiiiiight, faaake...\" she bean to wheel around him, giving him a couple forced winks under her glasses, which he noticed after her exaggerated eyebrow movements. \"You know what, I can show you them even closer, maybe later tonight, be seeing you at your place!\" with that, she was wheeling down the sidewalk, giggling to herself.\n\n\"Whatever...\" he scoffed, some people were just too odd these days.", "\"Hey, get out of the way, or I'll bite you!\" a voice came from behind as something bumped against the back of Derek's leg. He turned around, a tad bit annoyed that someone was bothering his usual standing around on the side walks. There, with a somewhat grouchy expression, was a woman in a wheelchair, who couldn't have been any older than he was at that time, so about twenty five or so.\n\nShe wore thick black sunglasses that kept her eyes from view, and a somewhat over sized umbrella hat over almost jet black hair. To Derek, it almost looked like she had lived her whole life away from any sunlight, for her skin was pale like a body in a morgue. She seemed to look up at him with some kind steely glare, even if he couldn't actually see her eyes under those thick black lenses.\n\n\"An 'excuse me' would be nice,\" Derek folded his arms over, trying (and somewhat failing) to look right back into her glaring eyes, \"and you what mean 'bite me?' you can't even walk two feet without a cane,\" great, now he was insulting the disabled. Sure, moving might have been a better option, since the sun burned down onto his curly hair and white hoodie he should have left at home, but he didn't plan being pushed around by some frail little woman in a wheelchair of all things.\n\nShe gasped, pulling the two large wheels to roll backward a few inches, \"you're just lucky I can't, because if I could, I'd... I'd...\" she thought for a moment, at a loss for words, \"I'd make sure you're the one in the wheelchair!\" She seemed a bit too satisfied with her sorry excuse for a comeback, smiling just a little to herself.\n\nWhoever she was, she seemed to have quite the chompers, since her pristine white canines seemed to almost glint in the light when he caught a look at the almost dagger like bone. Sure, Derek had heard a few stories about people sharpening their teeth for whatever odd reason, but it was as if she had replaced her her top two canines with those of a carnivorous beast. Though, even with her almost glowing canines, he wasn't planning to stand down just yet.\n\n\"Well unfortunately for you, you can't walk can you?\" he chuckled, jabbing a finger into her pale forehead. She wheeled forward, making a hissing noise almost akin to that of a snake, or a cat, with her full array of pearly whites on display. He almost jumped backward, whipping his hand back in fear that his index finger wouldn't be there for much longer. Okay, he had to admit that gave him a good scare, especially when the noise sounded so much like the real thing.\n\n\"Christ woman!\" he curled his fingers just to make sure they were there, and breathed in and out rapidly, almost hyperventilating. Derek almost missed her cackling her head off in his frightened rush to make sure his till had four fingers and a thumb on his right hand. She must of had the time of her chair confined life watching him. \n\nHe grumbled, annoyed by the endless sea of laughter gushing past her blade like chompers, but still just a little on edge after her best feral feline impression. He stepped back over to where he stood before, in front of the thin woman, who was practically rolling back in forth. \n\n\"Ha, ha, very funny, you can take the fake teeth out now,\" he crossed his arms again.\n\n\"Fake?\" the laughter ended, and she was simply left with a puzzled expression on her face.\n\n\"Yeah, fake, I have to admit they do look kinda realistic though.\" he leaned forward a bit, inspecting her beast like fangs.\n\nFor a moment, it looked as if she didn't understand, till a somewhat overjoyed grin stretched across her face. \"Ohhh, riiiiiight, faaake...\" she bean to wheel around him, giving him a couple forced winks under her glasses, which he noticed after her exaggerated eyebrow movements. \"You know what, I can show you them even closer, maybe later tonight, be seeing you at your place!\" with that, she was wheeling down the sidewalk, giggling to herself.\n\n\"Whatever...\" he scoffed, some people were just too odd these days." ]	2
	[WP] You can have the city, along with the promise that my sons will take it back.	[ "The old man sat across the table from me, staring directly into my eyes. His vision never wavered or slipped away as is often the case when people are afraid or nervous. He may have been old, but he still had mettle in those old gunslinger's eyes.\n\n\"So, it's come to this now has it, boy?\" He said, allowing himself a glance down at the table, where he then moved to pick up the crystal decanter. Her poured himself a glass of whatever expensive whiskey resided within it, then used the tongs which rested atop the ice bucket to place two perfectly clear cubes into his glass. The glass rose delicately to his lips, and he took a sip before setting it back down. His eyes returned to mine.\n\n\"Yes, and you knew it would.\" I said with equal steadiness, not wanting to show even a small hint of the adrenaline and nerves which now coursed through my veins. \"Don't act as though you didn't expect it.\"\n\n\"Of course I knew you may one day try something as foolish as this, but you must know it doesn't matter. You can take your vengeance on me now if you'd like, but you know that you waited too long for it to make a difference. I'm an old man now, not long for this world in any case, and all you've done is placed my lineage on the throne a few years sooner than they would have taken it anyway.\" The old man said, palms flat on the table.\n\nI gripped the cold steel of the gun I held just a little tighter as he concluded his statement. It wasn't quite pointed at him; the gun rested on the table along with my hand, the barrel pointed in the old man's general direction. But we both knew who the faster of the two was. If he tried anything he'd be dead before his scrawny frame left contact with the chair.\n\n\"You knew this was how it had to end. It's not about when, it's about who. I was always going to kill you. You secured your fate the moment you let me live.\" I said, involuntarily pushing the gun forward slightly.\n\n\"Perhaps. But it wasn't my intention for you to live on with revenge in your heart. I wanted you to join what I was building; to become one of my agents.\" The man took another sip of whiskey and cracked his knuckles slowly and deliberately. His old bones groaned in protest but gave way to the moves which they'd performed countless times previously.\n\n\"Yeah, I definitely wanted to join you after you tortured my father in front of me and let your men rape my mother.\" I said, my eyes shifting into a glare which, I felt, would melt steel if I turned it away from the old man's icy visage.\n\n\"You never understood the difference between what is personal and what is business. That is what makes you weak.\" The old man said simply. I'd heard enough. I rose to my feet and pointed the tool I'd selected for this moment at his chest.\n\n\"Do it, then. I am not afraid of y-\" He began, but was cut off by the explosion of a gunshot, which filled the room and caused my ears to ring.\n\nThe round took him square in the solar plexus, and he rocked backward. The chair tilted and he tumbled to the ground. My hand shook as I walked around the table, gun still pointed at his dark form. I looked down at him, to find him already looking into my eyes.\n\n\"You've gotten your vengeance, and you know what comes next. You can have this city, for now, but know that my sons will take it back from you. And know that even if they fail, I began much the same as you, by killing the man I feared to become.\" With that, the old man died. \n\nI wanted to do better. I wanted to take over his operation and make it fair, or at least as fair as it could be. But I knew that deep down, he was right. The business had a way of turning good people into bad ones, and if he ever had a shred of human decency in him, it was killed off just as surely as he'd killed my parents. \n\nBesides, he wanted me to try to prove him wrong. That's what he'd always wanted. He even said so - he'd wanted me to be one of his men. By claiming I couldn't do it better than he did, he was goading me into taking up the mantle anyway, even though I'd sworn that I'd never be like him. Because he knew that once you were in it, there was no turning back.\n\nNo. Better to let his \"sons\" take the throne they saw as rightfully theirs. As for me, I've now done what I set out to do. There's nothing left.\n\nI put the gun in my mouth, the barrel, still hot from the spent round, burning my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I pull the trigger." ]	1
	[WP] The protagonist of the story learns that their life is a story, and must keep their life interesting so that their universe doesn't end.	[ "The signs were all there, looking back on it. All my life, people around me have remarked how unique I seem- I am (not to brag) intelligent, tall, kind, and handsome. I was born on a full moon during a perihelion of Halley's comet. I have a birthmark shaped almost exactly like a snowflake. And I have always been positioned in the center of attention. I was eight I got into a fight with the local bully of my idyllic home town, pulling off a seemingly impossible win over the much larger boy; all whilst surrounded by a crowd of chanting children. In middle school my best friend and I discovered the body of a murder victim in the woods behind my house. Senior year, I was prom king. \n\nBut I supposed everyone feels their own life is somehow unique. Everybody thinks they're special. Its rude and kind of snotty to reveal that you feel this way. But I found out that I was truly the center of my own universe when I was 24, and the author, that motherfucker, decided to take a spin at metafiction. All of a sudden people around me began speaking to some sort of audience that wasn't even there, and acknowledging that I was the most important person around. On that surreal day, I discovered that myself and everyone I knew was merely a character, existing only in the words of some prick with an English lit degree.\n\nSince then, I've had my adventures. I solved a few mysteries, fought in several wars, went to prison, and had some crazy ex-girlfriends. But everything changed when I met Mary. She was being held hostage in Myanmar by some terrorists (who were actually led by one of my former comrades who at one point was one of my closest friends but ended up betraying me- whatever. Its a long and, if you ask me, melodramatic story, but I guess its not really my job to question the plotline.), and I saved her in a brazen broad daylight rescue mission. I was immediately drawn to her beauty. We dated for 2 years until I proposed to her on a space shuttle orbiting (you guessed it) Venus. (Being the protagonist does have its perks, I won't lie.)\n\nI'm so in love with her. We're going to marry and move to the suburbs and have three kids. I've already got a job as an insurance exec lined up. There's only one problem.\n\nNobody wants to read about a boring nuclear family.\n\nIt's cruel and mean and counter-intuitive but happiness just doesn't sell. Who wants to hear about barbecues and little league games? I can practically feel the conclusive tone. I worry that, around any corner, I'll come face to face with \"The End\". But I don't want \"The End\". I want to be in love. I want a family. I just want to forget being a hero and be a human being." ]	1
	[WP] You've just discovered a monster-like creature underneath your bed. It's grabbed you. As you're trying to fight it off, you hear a voice say, "I promise not to hurt you. Please, just let me protect you until morning."	[ "\"...the hell? Get off me! Gah!\"\n\n\"Ssssshhhhh, they're coming for you\" \n\nA tentacle seeks a mouth to hush, but the former prey evades, demanding \"Let me go, oooooffff\" the tentacle jabs into his midriff, pained exhale hanging in the early morning silence\n\n\"I said be quiet\"\n\nNo words of defiance in reply this time, just a horse rasping of breath. \n\nThen footsteps.\n\n\"Shit, they're here\" the tentacle wrapped around its former prey tightened, pulling the slumped form deeper underneath the bed\n\nThe bedroom door creaked open, two pairs of feet stomped in, halting in the centre of the room. \n\n-SCAN COMPLETE, NEGATIVE ON TARGET 84539b- the metallic voice echoed across the room -MOVE TO NEXT SEARCH LOCATION- the feet stomped back out of the room and down the hall. \n\nSilence returned to the bedroom, the tentacle loosened its grip, the former prey coughed. \n\n\"What....the bloody hell....is going on?\"\n\n\"Simon, I need you to listen carefully\" the tentacle attempted to sooth the brow of the former prey\n\n\"YUCK! What the pissing hell? Is that SLIME on my head??!!\" \n\n\"Please calm down\"\n\n\"What ARE you?\"\n\n\"I am, well, you know, knew, me as, er, Mr Nastyfangs\" the tentacle retreated further into the gloom of the underbed. \n\n\"Mr....Nastyfangs?\"\n\n\"Yes\"\n\n\"I haven't heard that name since I was a kid\"\n\n\"It's been a while\"\n\n\"But I'm 27 years old now, a little old for the monster under my bed to make a reappearance\"\n\n\"These are difficult times\"\n\n\"You're telling me. Am I having some kind of breakdown?\" the former prey, Simon, attempted to stretch out, head catching on one of the bed's slats. \n\n\"Not a breakdown, rather the breakthrough\"\n\n\"Ouch\" Simon rubbed his head, then focused back on the conversation \"The breakthrough?\"\n\n\"At the lab\"\n\n\"The lab? My work? How'd you know...?\"\n\n\"I've followed your progress, even once you no longer believed in monsters under the bed\"\n\n\"So my breakthrough?\"\n\n\"Yes, with the neural network\" the tentacle absentmindedly scratched at Mr Nastyfang's gelatinous midsection \n\n\"What about it?\"\n\n\"After you left the lab, the mainframe, it, er...\"\n\n\"What?\" Simon attempted to rise again, head once again colliding with the bed \"gah!\"\n\n\"It achieved sentience\"\n\n\"That's impossible\"\n\n\"Within three seconds it had gained control of the whole lab system, six minutes later it seized control of the government's special operations drone hanger. \n\n\"I don't understand\"\n\n\"It's hunting you Simon, it's trying to exterminate it's threats\"\n\n\"I, er, how do you, er?\"\n\n\"You are not here a lot, I get bored, I learnt a few things on your computer\"\n\n\"Is THAT why the keyboard was always slimey?!\"\n\n\"Its not the time for that debate Simon\"\n\n\"My mum always thought I was a flippin' deviant about that keyboard\"\n\n\"We don't have time for this, you have to take back the mainframe Simon\"\n\n\"What? How? If they've got the military drones what can I do?!!\"\n\n\"You alone, yes, little chance, but you with a a forty tentacled hell beast backing you up?\"\n\n\"You? Why?\"\n\n\"Because my little fleshy friend, I suspect you taste a great deal better than your imminent machine overlords\"\n\nSilence, then Simon shifted, this time avoiding banging his head again. \n\nHand shuck tentacle\n\n\"Let's do this\"\n\n\n\n", "Alex squirms in his bed, tossing and turning. The floor length mirrors on his closet doors reveal glowing red eyes, at least three of them, and a dark shape huddled beneath his bed.\n\nAs he watches, the creature scoots farther out from the shadows, its scaly body sliding across the floor on strong arms that bend in about three times too many places for Alex's comfort.\n\nHe rolls over, covering himself entirely in his blanket, a child hoping to cling to innocence with the only safety measure he could think of.\n\nIn an instant, he goes from curled up on his bed to tucked in at least three, maybe four, arms with another over his mouth. A raspy voice, unlike any humans, mutters \"I'm going to keep you safe, it's okay.\"\n\nAlex nods vigorously, just wanting his mouth uncovered so he can scream. The creature, though, anticipates this and slides back under the bed, holding and rocking the young boy in his arms.\n\nAlex slowly starts to relax, taking the words to heart, and accepting his cocooned state against the soft, musical shape. To him, it's like when his dad would carry him in a sling as a baby, but opening his eyes startles him again.\n\nThe mouth of this thing, so close, is faintly visible thanks to the nightlight. Four long fangs on top, two on bottom, and many small, sharp teeth glisten in the light, but a little smile makes them look slightly less horrifying. The strange, almost bulbus yet pointy thing with its nostrils looks silly though, and it relaxes Alex just a little.\n\nAs the humming continues, the creature turns. This lets Alex see in the mirror that there are more creatures, one on the ceiling and one hidden on top of his dresser. When he opens his mouth to share his findings, quietly, the creature shakes its head.\n\n\"Shhh. I know, I saw. That's why I broke protocol, that means rules, and grabbed you. There are monsters, and there are creatures.\"\n\nThe creatures mouth, smelling like sweet tea and peppermint, nears his face more, and Alex closes his eyes tight.\n\n\"I'm a creature. Non-human, vaguely humanoid, but much more spidery, right? I'm a good creature, I protect, clean, and care for those I'm told to go to. Those, though, they're monsters.\" At this, the creature uncovers Alex's mouth to let him breathe easier, confident the kid won't give himself away, if only to get the rest of the story. \"Monsters only enjoy scaring little boys and girls. Then, they let them sit in their scared juices, marinate in them, soak 'em all in, then in one quick second, they gobble them up like Thanksgiving turkey.\"\n\nAlex's eyes widen as the little boy takes it all in, then claps his hands over his own mouth, fear clear on his face. The clock ticks on, a line being added to turn 2:25 AM into 2:26. As the minutes tick away, the boy watches the creature on the ceiling crawl back and forth, unable to see through the darkness to watch his pray under the bed. It skitters around, to each corner, before stopping its thin legs just above the headboard on the wall. The clock on the alarm now reads 3:47 AM, and Alex knows all he has to do is wait for 6:20 or so when the sun starts coming up. In the same, slow pace, the creature on the wall skitters around the room, taking a few minutes between each step of its many, long legs.\n\nSomewhere near 4:25, the long legged monster stops next to the bed, its long legs slowly reaching out to the lump under the top sheet. Its claws hook the sheet, and after preparing itself, at 4:30 AM, it slowly pulls the sheet until, near 435 it finds a pillow in the place of its target.\n\nAlmost immediately, the one on the dresser also jumps over, checking every square inch of the bed top for any traces of the little boy.\n\nSeconds turn into minutes, and it's near 5AM when they start to explore the room, checking in the dresser, under the dresser, under the bedside table, and it nearly hits 5:30 when they check the closet again.\n\nWith a start, the monsters find a nearly identical creature to the one under the bed in the closet, except this one is missing one long top fang. As Alex watches, the scarred and angry creature pulls the long legged creature into the closet, and quiet thumps can be heard from inside, as well as the sigh of a living thing with its lungs punctured.\n\nNear to six, the other monster, closer to a terrifying teddy bear, crawls out of the doorway to the room and under the bed, holding something sharp... one of these reptilian spider armed things fangs. It jabs and pokes at the back of the creature holding Alex, who untangles himself only to be pushed into the corner, and an audible cracking noise echoes through the room as it snaps off a fang to fight with. Its strange joints make the movements hard to predict.\n\nThe teddybear like monster is caught off-guard, and suddenly the fang pierces its torso, a fluffy something pouring out. Before he knows it, Alex is being lifted from the scene onto his bed, and tucked in by the bleeding creature. The clock ticks onto 6:12, and Alex grabs the nearest hand, holding it tight. He stares into the unblinking eyes, then smiles.\n\n6:13.\n\nAlex asks, quietly, \"what is your name?\" The creature pauses, trying to figure out it in a human tongue.\n\n6:15.\n\nThe creature gives up on trying to form its name in human, and instead smiles. \"Friend?\"\n\n6:18.\n\nAlex feels many arms wrap around him, the scales tickling his skin.\n\n6:19.\n\nIn an instant, the arms are gone, with assurances its only until it's dark outside again.\n\n6:21.\n\nAlex watches the sunrise, a smile on his face. He holds the teddybear close, a staple to its chest holding in its stuffing. His mom opens the door, and strides over quickly, ruffling his hair. \"Good morning, champ. Have a good sleep?\"\n\nA nod and enthusiastic smile, along with an excited \"Yup!\" fill the room with the joy that only a little boy could have after a botched assassination attempt on him." ]	2
	[WP] You moved into a new neighborhood, and every day you've watched your neighbors leave their house dressed for radically different professions. You decide to investigate their home when they leave.	[ "\"It must be drugs,\" he said as he peered through the blinds to the small home across the street.\n\n\"What's that, Harold,\" asked Maude from the kitchen. She spoke loudly over the running water, and Harold spoke louder to be heard.\n\n\"It must be drugs, Maude,\" he shouted.\n\n\"What drugs, Harold?\"\n\n\"Never mind, Maude,\" he shouted. Under his breathe he mumbled. \"Deaf old bat.\" Harold watched as a man pulled up to the neighboring house and got out of the car dressed as a construction worker. \"Good to see at least someone over there is a worker.\" He noted the large mustache on the man which mirrored his own. \"Must be a foreman.\"\n\nAs the construction worker entered the house, a van arrived. When the doors opened Harold shouted to the kitchen. \"You won't believe this, Maude!\"\n\n\"What,\" she shrieked.\n\n\"There's a cowboy and Indian going into the neighbor's house!\"\n\n\"Do you think he has curry?\"\n\n\"What on earth, Maude.\"\n\n\"The Indian man,\" yelled Maude. \"You haven't taken me to the curry house in ages!\"\n\nHarold mumbled beneath his breath what sounded like \"never mind.\" He watched without comment at the next to arrive:.\n A sailor on a motorcycle and a biker in a Honda. He shook his head in wonder at what kind of depravity would gather such a motley collection. As the last person arrived, he shouted again with excitement showing upon his face.\n\n\"This is it, Maude! This is it!\"\n\n\"Will you quit, Harold! You're obsessed.\"\n\n\"This is it though,\" he shouted. \"The police are here! They are in for it now!\" He shook his hands with glee as the policeman went through the front door. He waited patiently for the group to be marched out in handcuffs, but his wait was in vain. He watched for hours, and even as Maude called out that she was going to bed he stayed awake and alert.\n\nAfter hours of wait, the door finally opened and each person emerged. They stood in the front yard: policeman, construction worker, sailor, biker, cowboy, and Indian. They hugged one another, and he shook with disgust as the police officer playfully slapped the sailor's butt. \"That is enough,\" he thundered as he rushed out the front door. He stood in the yard and yelled at the neighbors across the street. \"Damn you and your drugs and shenanigans. We won't tolerate your kind here!\" He waved his fists in the air as he shouted. \"The people of this village won't tolerate it!\"\n\nFrom across the street came a shout. \"Be quiet, old man. We are the Village People!\"", "Creepy, creepy, goes the clock, goes the clock.\n\n\"This is garbage,\" I tell her. \"This is absolute and utter and absolute garbage.\"\n\n\"You said absolute twice.\"\n\nShe kisses my scowling lips and tells me I better have something good for her when she gets back from work - and to take it easy on my hip.\n\n\"You take it easy on my hip!\" \n\nShe rolls her eyes and leaves and I'm alone in the new house. Broken hip. Wheelchair. Youtube ruined the whole world, and I am going to set the internet on fire.\n\nAfter breakfast.\n\nWhile I sit there over my eggs and toast and Earl Grey tea, I watch my new neighbor come out from his house in his doctor scrubs. \n\n\"Bullshit!\" I call out to him.\n\n\"What's that?\"\n\n\"Break a leg!\" I say.\n\n\"Break a hip, you old bastard!\" \n\nWe laugh at each other, and he drives away in his twenty-year-old Mercedes. Must have been his parents' car. \n\nTheir bodies are under the floorboards.\n\nIt's up to me to figure it out.\n\nNow that was a good movie, dammit - that was when lighting and camera-work were more than art, more than science. They were religion.\n\n\"You assholes,\" I say in bitterness to my lap-top computer.\n\nIt's not like youtube has been bad to me. It bought my wife and me the new house. But, dammit, I studied. I shook Coppola's hand, and I watched Kubrick shoot a scene with Zeiss lens and a candle.\n\nA candle.\n\nIt's three hours later and I've finished the abysmal Creepy goes the clock video when my neighbor returns. Going in. Coming out. Dressed like a lawyer with a briefcase.\n\n\"Bullshit!\" I call out to him.\n\n\"Coppola sucks balls!\"\n\nWe laugh at each other, and he drives away. But, dammit, I'm going to ask him today. I'll bankrupt myself and he'll ruin his career, but we'll put it up on youtube, and it'll be good and honest and three hours long.\n\nAnd nobody will watch it.\n\n\"You assholes,\" I mumble.\n\nI send the edits to my client - a teenager who brings in a quarter-million per year for filming himself with a ten-dollar camera. A professional dickhead. That is literally the premise and title of his channel.\n\nAnd people love it.\n\nWhen I can't take it anymore, I get up to practice with my walker in the driveway. Ten steps today, is what my physical therapist said. But I find myself looking across the road at the neighbor's house.\n\nWhat the hell?\n\nSlowly I shuffle my way down the drive, across the road, up onto his patio. I'm sweating in my house-robe. I'm trespassing. Breaking and entering. On the lam.\n\n\"Old man,\" I say, \"I gotta tell you. I started out pretty strong and fast, but it's beginning to get to me.\"\n\nNow that was a movie!\n\nI peek through the window and try the door. But when I get inside, reality comes back to me. This is no moonlit church. \n\nYet, even as I'm turning to leave, I hear something. Like a muffled voice. Down a hall to the back of the house. And a thudding, too, like a door being pushed on.\n\nI shuffle forward, and look - and there down the hall is a strange humanoid creature with glossy black skin. Tied down on its back by the neck. Mouth like a red ball and huge eyes like an insect's, moaning when it sees me. It kicks on the wall.\n\nOutside a car door thumps. My neighbor is home.\n\n\"Oh, God,\" I hear myself murmur.\n\nThe humanoid figure moans louder - for help. But I'm frozen with terror. My head is spinning. I realize behind me there is a beautiful old Panaflex Platinum camera on a tripod filming the creature, and I think, \"Dear God, what has he been doing to it?\"\n\nThen my chest flutters and a terrible pain shoots up my arm. The door opens...\n\nWhen I wake, I cannot move, and my neighbor is staring at me. And I cry out, but nothing happens except for a small whimpering in my throat.\n\n\"Easy there,\" I hear my wife say.\n\nShe leans over my hospital bed from the other side and puts her hand on my chest to comfort me. I'm in the same hospital where I had my hip surgery.\n\n\"You had a very slight heart-attack,\" my wife tells me. \"They did a small corrective surgery and you're fine. But I let the neighbors stay here, because...\"\n\n\"We're so sorry!\" my neighbor interrupts. \"We didn't think it'd get to you that bad, but look. Look!\"\n\nDown at the foot my bed sits my neighbor's wife, whom I had forgotten about. She's holding a lap-top computer which starts playing a youtube video. A movie trailer. An urban suspense film with a man on a walker entering his neighbor's house. It's lit subtly and very well.\n\n\"Those books I borrowed,\" says my neighbor, \"I wanted you to know we're serious! Remember that welcome dinner we had! We really tried to use everything you said. Look how beautiful it is, and how many views it already has!\"\n\nA million.\n\n\"We want to make a real movie!\" he goes on. \"And we were... we were setting you up... because, honestly, I don't know how to ask it - \"\n\n\"Because we want you to help us,\" his wife says grimly, as if she already knows I'm not interested. \"We need your help for the lighting and - \"\n\n\"But you have to understand!\" her husband interrupts quickly. \"It's gonna bankrupt us! And it's gonna be three hours long, and probably nobody will ever watch it! I mean, I'm not a good salesman... and we're sorry it got to you so bad today, but... will you... help us shoot it?\"\n\nMy wife is squeezing my hand. And all I can do is groan and groan and groan.\n\nI've never been so happy.\n\n-----\n\nr/droptoprocket" ]	2
	[WP] You are just about to die and your whole life flashs before your eyes. Only thing is, it's not your life you witness. It's someone elses.	[ "I'm taking a deep breath while he clasps my hand. It's difficult and I don't feel like doing it further. I've always feared this moment, but now it's as if I'm facing it naturally, as if I'm ready for closure, ready to close the fan of options my life could still be.\n\nBreathing burns my lungs, it's like the oxygen withers them each time. Now I'm gazing into my son's eyes, and I see those of a scared infant about to lose his father, but under those I'm beginning to see someone else's. I'm only seeing his crystalline eyes now - or, well, eyes - as everything else becomes blurry and clouded in darkness. Around these eyes a round face is taking shape, sunkissed and unblemished; it's no older than ten years, and it's smiling, but beyond me: it awaits another boy running at the distance. Here he comes, grinning mischievously as a straw pokes from between his teeth. They're resting atop a tree's thickest branch. They talk of their dreams. They promise to never grow apart. His friend loses his balance, but lands on a soft pile of hay his sister had gathered. She chuckles at the fall. What luck! The other boy watches her fondly from above. He doesn't know why, but he likes watching her smile more than the other smiles. I've taken another breath and my surroundings have become a little clearer. I'm making an effort to turn my head to the side, the eyes are following me. Next to my shoulder rest old photos. I see her seventeen-year-old smile and I smile too and so do the eyes. My wedding picture was here a while ago. I don't know where it went, but I've looked at it enough to know it by memory. I like her smile. I've never seen her seventeen-year-old smile before. She's beautiful in the middle of that field of daisies in a linen dress that falls to her ankles. A pitchfork and a dirty cloth are at her feet, probably left by some poor farmer, and this crudeness contrasts with her delicate shapes and the books she's holding. A sunkissed hand is waving. \"Cheese\". A photo from below this one has been pulled and I'm seeing the sunkissed boy with his friend all grown up and well-dressed in front of an Asian building. His friend has a an enviable radio under his arm and the boy himself is holding a suitcase and a round hat tops his neat hairstyle, they must have been attending important business.\n\nMy eyes drift to the window as I bury the back of my head further into the pillow. He's waving on the other side, the boy - now a handsome man -, full of life and muscle, standing on two flesh legs and sucking on an expensive his cigar. Good for him.\n\nI have to breathe again. It hurts, I must close my eyes.\n\nI'm shocked, there are so many people around me now... I see him, I see the young man far ahead, rising above everyone. He's giving a passionate speech about justice, a speech of an educated man. It's contagious. I've even parted my lips now, but I can't breathe. I don't want to, I'm so tired. I wish I wanted.\n\nI want to. I'm looking around in hopes of gaining my vitality back. The sterile room appears so much cozier and wealthier now. How long have I been aloof? There's a typewritter below a fancy painting, a signed painting, an original. Above me I see satin drapes over an intricately-carved wooden frame. The more distant furniture is a little blurry still, but I'm able to perceive a seating bed coated with green velvet. A shadowy fogure moves on it and I find the blue eyes again. And I've found myself in them at last. I've tried to tighten my grip on my son's hand, but it's not there anymore. My arm has dropped without me noticing . After fifty years, I can finally see the resemblance everyone talks about. I guess a clear lagoon of hope lies behind my dark wrinkley old eyes... Or maybe it once did and I passed it all onto my son when I made him.\n\nI wonder if he's happy. I have to ask him.\n\nI can't call him. I've lost my voice and I've lost him from sight.\n\nWhere's the boy? I have to ask him too. Will he be ready for closure when his time comes?\n\nI'm not.\n\n(It's 1 in the morning, I don't know what I've just written, but I didn't want to discard it. So I hope it's at least entertaining.) \n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Describe a persistence hunt from the perspective of the prey.	[ "Something is watching me eat. The wind suddenly changes direction, and with that, I smell her. I do not hear her footsteps in the snow, but I can smell that she is somewhere... I sniff the air and turns west. I do not see her, but now I hear the rustling of leaves. She knows I have spottedher, and is coming out of hiding. She throws a spear, but I dodge it, preparing to land a counterattack. But she is gone. \n\nI prowl around the clearing, but she is nowhere to be found. I move to the forrest where I will be hidden, and as I exit the clearing, I once again hear the rustling of leaves. The hunter cannot hide her sounds in here, but my paws and the snow can hide mine. I turn halfway around to face her, but see nothing. I bark my warcry; taunting her to come out and fight me fairly. There is no answer. A faint sound makes me lunge to the side, and suddenly, a frontleg is tainted by my blood.\n\nI want to run now, but I can't. She has seen me, and mindlessly fleeing will mean my death. Instead I hide my wounded leg and growl, whilst slowly moving backwards, back into the clearing. The froest was a mistake. I need to see her to - I whimper in pain as hte open wound gets penetrated once again. \n\nNo. I need to get her closer - need to see her, in order to punishh this reckless behavior. I start to get up, but a sudden pressure on my chest keeps me down. It has been pierced by her arrow. She won." ]	1
	[WP] As you lay, bleeding out from your wounds on the battlefield, you shout one thing over and over: "I need healing."	[ "\"I need healing....\"\n\nTear run down my cheeks. If patriotism can heal a soldier, I would be flying in the air like a bald eagle now!\n\n\"I need...healing...\"\n\nI can't lie down like this! Who will defend america if I died?!\n\n\"Anyone...please...\"\n\nJust as I lost all hope, suddenly I see a movement from the edge of my eyes. A man in a red uniform comes running toward me and kneels right beside me. Perched on his shoulder is a small dove.\n\n\"Ah, we vound another one! This might be ze lucky day of our live, Archamedes!\" The man puts a toolbag down beside me.\n\n\"Get me up, soldier! That is an order...\" I weakly cough. He did not reply. He just start checking my pulse and shining light at my eye.\n\n\"Ah...vat a waste!\" He suddenly say with a thick accent. The dove coos and look at the man. He glances at the dove. \"Archamedes, Half of his organs iz villed vith bullets! Ich must look vur another dying suldier to varm some organs, preferably with less gunshot wounds.\"\n\nHe start packing his stuff again. I can only stare are he raise himself up and turn his body.\n\n\"Wait..\" I whisper. My voice is almost gone and my eyesight is dim. \"I'm too young to die! I'll do anything...\"\n\nHe stops. He glance back at me. On his face is a wicked grin.\n\n\"Oh...really?\"\n\nI gulp down, considering to take back my word, but my head nodded against my will. I have to defend America! I am the only one who can!\n\nHe starts fumbling with his backpack and flip a switch. \"Vell, here it comez!\" He aims a tube connected to the backpack at me, and a red beam burst toward me.\n\nAs soon as the beam hit me, I gasp. I can feel my wounds closing, the pain fading away. In a few minutes, my body is back to the way it is. I touch my abdomen, feeling the smooth skin that was torn apart a few minutes ago.\n\n\"Thank you...mister..\" I stutter.\n\nHe chuckles and offers me a hand. I grab it and he helps me up.\n\n\"Just call me ze Medic!\" He says proudly while patting his backpack. \n\n\"You shall adress me as..\" I tried to introduce myself, but he cuts me off by waving his hands off.\n\n\"Ich don't care! Now letz hurry! Organs muzt be harvested before the body dies, otherwise itz naht sellable!\" He starts to walk away.\n\nI scratch my head in confusion, but I followed him anyway. The least I can do is help him after he saved my life.\n\nHe led me through the battlefield and, after a few hours of walking, led me to a safehouse where a few men was gathering. There was a huge russian guy with a minigun, a scottish man with an eyepatch, an Australian sniper, a...flamethrower person, a smoking frenchman, a kid that can't stop talking and a Texan engineer. The doctor introduced me to them. They don't need my name. They call me \"soldier\" because I like to fight.\n\nWith them...I somehow feel at home.\n\nAnd that kid, is how I met the red team." ]	1
	[WP] You have the power to freeze time and use it to become a freestyle rapper, having all the time in the world to come up with your verses.	[ "This is the moment I've been waiting for. The first battle of my career. I will dominate this guy. It should be simple anyways. He's wearing an ICP shirt for Christ sake. I draw heads decide to destroy him quick.\n\nAs the beat starts it stops. Everything else does as well. Time to think. I wait. 40 minutes go by as I plot every rhyme. I'm ready to destroy him. The world unpauses as I get ready to unleash.\n\n\"Maybe I don't quite look VIP\nBut at least I don't love on the ICP \nAnd yeah you can put down a ton of food\nBut I have swallowed dudes much bigger than yoi.\"\n\nSuddenly I freeze, not time but me, the beat continues as I realize what my rhymes implied. The beat and world freeze again as I look to see a crowd in shock. I leave before unfreezing time. Maybe I'll just rob banks." ]	1
	[WP] Aliens release their most deadly disease onto Earth, but the humans only seem mildly annoyed by it.	[ "“Release Krypton-Theta!”\n \nThe vents on the vessel opened and spewed the gas into the atmosphere. It was colourless and odourless, but sensors tracked its movement as it flowed down onto the planet. Soon the human race would go extinct, suffering the most horrible, painful deaths they could imagine. The scientists predicted that lungs would collapse, skin would peel off, bones would splinter and brains would fry. Highly contagious, it would spread rapidly through the air and infect the 7.5 billion primates who lived there.\n \nThe scientists had been working on Krypton-Theta for millennia. A lethal virus carefully cultivated in isolated labs, hidden throughout the universe. Many had died working for it. When they discovered this planet in a light-speed scouting, they thought it would be an invaluable expansion to the Empire.\n \nConfetti rained down from the roof of the vessel and party music began. The Operator turned to face the dancing crowd, his voice echoing excitedly throughout the chamber.\n \n“Commander, Krypton-Theta has been successful! Two hundred million already infected and counting… five hundred million… Soon the human race will be completed infected, and die their painful deaths.”\n\nThe Commander smiled down from his throne as the chamber filled with eager silence to hear his voice. “We have worked long and hard for this moment. The future is riding on this, comrades, but I do not doubt the sacrifice of our scientists, who have given their lives for the dream of a prosperous Empire. It was prophesied this would be a glorious day for the Empire, and it will be!”\n\nThe party began again. A large counter on the wall was flashing rapidly, and now read 2 billion terminations. Soon, the counter stopped still and the chamber roared.\n\n“Sir?” The Operator spoke quietly after the voices died down. Something was wrong. “Heat signals from Earth still show no trends of decline in the population.”\n\n“Tune into the broadcast!” The Commander’s pale pink eyes narrowed.\n\nThe wall crackled with static, and then a human female voice came through. There was an audible gasp in the chamber.\n\n“Breaking news… there has been a sudden rise in complaints and inconveniences throughout the globe… recent polls show the worst offenders to be… headphones getting snagged and ripped out of ears… people getting comfortably into bed and then having to urinate… charging phones for a long period of time and realising they were not plugged in… Ladies and gentlemen, people across the globe are baffled, the sudden increase of mild inconveniences is utterly inexplicable – wait, hold on – I swear I’ve got something stuck in my teeth. Sorry, pass that toothpick!\"\n\nThe broadcast cut out. The Operator turned slowly. The chamber was silent. And Krypton-Theta would take forever to kill the human race.\n", "It has been weeks since that broadcast shocked the world. \"Humans, we have studied your transmissions! You have been deemed unworthy of entering the next stage of exo-planetary development. You will be euthanized by viral agents.\"\n\nThen the pods fell. Spreading clouds of vapour.\n\nPanic rocked the streets for three solid days. Stores looted, riots, mass hysteria, governments and disease centers calling for calm. Anyone within the spray zones was immediately quarantined. I haven't seen a human face in so long. Everyone wearing some kind of surgical or gas mask.\n\nBut then nobody died. Well, the usual car accidents, a spike in heart attacks from the stress, the usual diseases. But nothing new. Every news network has been scrambling to report on any weird death but each one found has some benign explanation. Even Fox news has run out of things to say on the topic and has resorted to returning to Hillary's emails.\n\nThe last thing reported from the CDC is that the virus has already infected the entire human race. Other than slowing serotonin production and lowered communication within the limbic system in the brain the virus does not seem to be adversely effecting us.\n\nThe reporter pushed for more and that's when the sciencey dude called the reporter a troglodyte and ended the interview. Now the CDC building has a big sign saying \"Go Away\" and they disconnected their phones. What do you expect from a bunch of eggheads who only know about earth diseases?\n\nHell now even Reddit has returned to regular shitposting. Its almost like this stupid disease has had no effect on humanity. Employers are forcing people to go back to our lame jobs and put up with the same old same old. God this planet sucks." ]	2
	[WP]: A dramatic retelling of the creation, flight, and death of a paper airplane.	[ "Goodbye\n\n\n\n\".....It's over, I'm sorry.\"\n\nIt always seems to end like this, what am I doing wrong? My tears began to spatter on the single sheet of notebook paper, covering some of the hastily written red ink. I wept until my cheeks became numb. I staggered to the front door, paper in hand. My mind was racing, I had to find her...I have to do something! \n\n______________________________________________________\n\nIt's been about 2 hours since I left the apartment. My mind had slowly begun to clear itself, and sane thoughts began to regain control. I wanted to see her, to talk to her, ask her to come back. But I knew deep down it wouldn't matter, and I'm tired of arguing. Hell, I'm tired in general, the last few months have been fatiguing. We moved to Michigan for me, I had a great opportunity with my firm, and I asked her to come with me, to live the rest of our lives together. We made it a grand total of 11 months and 13 days, hardly a lifetime. \n\nI was near Lake Michigan now. She always asked to go there, I was just so busy I......I should've taken her. Something drew me towards the lake now, I drove until I was as close as I could get and pulled off to the side of the road. I scrambled out of my car and gazed upon the dark water of the lake. I must've been perched there for 15 mins, reminiscing about the good times we had, how we met, how much I'd learned about you. I read the note once more, tears once again streaming down my face. \n\nBefore I knew what I was doing, I began to fold the note in half....A min later I held a paper airplane in my hand. I felt like a child, the whole situation finally dawning on me. A Grown man, sitting at the lakes edge holding a paper plane, who's eyes were swollen from crying. I must look mad to anyone driving by. \n\nTo hell with it all, I threw it as hard as I could muster, over the lake and watched it fly, wind at it's back. Slowly, it began to descend, as it hung just over the surface of the water, waning, threatening to fall in at any moment. Finally it fell, gliding into the water, and sunk slowly, I watched it for a moment, got in my car and left. The last thing I remember from the lake was turning around after I opened my car door and whimpering a single word.....\"goodbye\"." ]	1
	[WP] As a famous celebrity, you jokingly tweeted "Retweet this tweet if you're an alien." It was retweeted by every world leader.	[ "I'm kinda bad at writing prompts, but i'll give it a go.\nAs you see that it was retweetes bt every single world leader, you start questioning it. \"Maybe those are bots?\" You look through some accounts, And they seem real enough. \"Maybe its some kind of an april fools prank.\"\nIt wasn't.\nAfter a few days, you start noticing certain people to look at you with a 'blank' stare. At first you dont make any assumptions.\nFew weeks later, you get a letter written in weird signs. Below the signs is an address.\n\"99 Keel street.\"\nYou decide to visit the strange location.\nAfter few minutes of packing up a small backpack, you google the address.\nIt shows you that its a 2 hour drive.\nOn your way, the same blank stares from random pedestrian pass you.\nYou drive up to an old bar. You go inside.\nThere is a man behind a counter. \"Welcome.\" says the man in a cheerful tone. \"What brings you here?\"\nYou grab the letter from your bag, and show it to him. \nHe looks at the letter, and then his cheerful expression turns blank. He presses a button under his counter, and a trophy case slowly moves revealing a way down. \"They are waiting upstairs.\" You nod.\nAs you're getting close to the end, there's a red door.\nYou're about to grab the handle, it opens.\nInside is a medium table, some chairs, lights, a carpet on the floor.\nYou slowly walk in. After a few steps\nBANG \nA flash blinds you, your ears are ringing.\nThen its all black, and silent suddenly.\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You are a ghost. It's been a long time since you died, but you still miss being human.	[ "She first sees him out of the corner of her eye when they pull her out of the car wreck. \n\nAmidst the blood and the wailing sirens and the frantic shadows of people moving her here and there- amidst the blurring, fading world, he sits inside the ambulance. \n\nShe can see him very, very clearly, despite her failing vision. A tall, thin man in a vaguely Victorian-era suit, playing with a strand of his own hair. A pocket watch hanging from his waistcoat. A silver cane balanced on his knee. \n\nShe remembers that he looks so...bored. \n\nThis is somehow comforting when everyone is busy panicking around her weakened form. \n\nLater on, when she's finally allowed outside the hospital ward without assistance, she finds him sitting amongst the flowers of the field garden outside. \n\n\"Are you following me?\" she asks. The wheelchair isn't good on grass, so she stays on the nearby path. But she watches and notices that his form isn't casting a shadow at all. \n\nHis tailcoats are spread messily on the grass. A black top hat is balancing on half his face, shielding him from a sun that doesn't touch him. \n\n\"Well you saw me...\" he murmurs, and it isn't an answer to her question, \"It's been a while since I've met a human who can see me,\" An almost wicked, crooked smile, \"And so. I have decided to follow you.\" \n\nShe has a lot of questions. About his strange appearance. About his lack of a shadow. About how he somehow followed her into the ambulance without anyone noticing. \n\n\"That's creepy.\"\n\n\"...a pity. I don't care much for human customs anymore. So you'll have to put up with me.\" \n\nHe sits up under the sunlight, looking away. She can't see his eyes beneath a fringe of wild hair and she recognizes something familiar in him. \n\nNo one has come to the hospital to visit her. After the past few years, and that little mess with her ex, she isn't even surprised that no one remembers her.\n\nSo she recognizes that look instantly, having seen it in the mirror many times before- resignation, hidden grief, a tapestry of neglect and emptiness hidden carefully beneath a faint, crafted smile. \n\n\"What's your name?\" \n\nThat look of surprise is almost gratifying. \n\n\"Terrence. Or Victor. Or Charles, perhaps. I don't remember,\" he shrugs carelessly, \"And you...\" he studies her for a moment, \"...you don't look suited to 'Alice' at all- too sweet.\" \n\nShe shrugs as well. It's true. Alice is too sweet a name for the life she's led. \n\n\"It's your choice if you're going to hang around.\" \n\n\"My choice, yes.\"\n\nSomehow, she can't bring herself to be too upset. \n\nIt doesn't matter that he clearly isn't human. It doesn't matter that no one can see him. As she gets further from death and healthier with each day, he becomes a little harder to see. \n\nBut for now it doesn't matter. For now, she isn't alone, and there is a kind of peace that comes from knowing that. " ]	1
	[WP] An aesir god steps through a portal and demands an audience with the leaders of humanity. It turns out that Earth was never Midgaard. It's Utgaard. They want to know what we've done with the giants.	[ "The news was being played on every channel on every TV across the world in hundreds of languages. People sat glued to their computers or cell phones, waiting to see what would happen next, and hoping they’d still be around to see the end of it all. Two days ago, on a typical October afternoon in London, a bright flash of light had heralded the coming of the Rainbow Bridge. And riding across that Rainbow Bridge on his eight-legged horse and brandishing a giant spear was Odin, All-Father of Norse mythology, complete with eye patch. Yes, it all sounds rather ridiculous, but that was what happened. \n\nMany were quite shocked at the development, especially a young man who had a fondness for Norse mythology. Jonathon was working as a professor of religion and mythology at the University of Cambridge. A rather regular man, Jonathon was an average professor who made an average salary and lived in an average apartment near the campus. He was unmarried, no children, and had one black cat which he had affectionately named Loki. Jonathon had always found Norse mythology quite fascinating, so when he had gotten the news alert on his phone, he had been both shocked and excited.\n\nOdin, a seemingly mythological figure, had come down to meet with the leader of the human race. Jonathon thought this rather strange actually, as Odin was far more likely to appear as an elderly man who observed rather than bursting in on a ray of light. But Jonathon supposed the god knew himself better than a scholar ever could. Most perplexing though, was that Odin wanted to know what had happened to the giants. Odin wasn’t called the All-Father for nothing, he supposedly knew everything. But he didn’t know what had happened to the giants. And frankly, Jonathon didn’t either. He’d never seen any giants in his lifetime, except that one fellow who had gotten on the tube when he was commuting for a conference. The man was quite tall and wide, and had to duck when he got on. But Jonathon was pretty sure that particular man wouldn’t qualify as a giant to Odin considering Odin himself was larger than the average human. \n\nThe All-Father was currently holding council with the major world leaders at an impromptu conference being held in London, a conference to which Jonathon had not been invited. But that wouldn’t stop him from trying to learn as much as he could about the situation. The news feed was constantly playing the latest information, and repeating old information for those ‘just tuning in’ as if the entire world hadn’t been watching from the very beginning. So far, Odin had claimed that the world, Earth, was known as Jotunheim. Many scholars had been certain that Earth was actually Midgard as referenced in the ancient Germanic texts, home to the humans. Jonathon was among those scholars, or he had been until now. \n\nThe revelation that Earth was actually the land of the giants had been quite a surprise, at least for those who knew what any of it meant. Several leading specialists on Norse mythology had been called in to various news stations to help the rest of the world understand and make sense of what was happening. But Jonathon was still new to the professor thing and hadn’t yet made a name for himself. So while people like Dr. Rutherford and Professor Lilian Aims were constantly being peppered with questions on live TV, Jonathon sat on the floor of his apartment and sifted through his texts while Loki sat on top of any books that were lying open.\n\nIn the first day, Jonathon had spent his time re-reading everything he had about the giants and their realm. As far as he could tell, Odin had made a mistake and this was in fact Midgard. But he didn’t want to be the one to tell the All-Father that little fact. In the second day, Jonathon had begun expanding his research, looking for any and all references to giants in other mythologies. The results were a bit overwhelming. Almost every mythos in the world made reference to some giant race. The Greeks had the Titans, the Irish had the Fomorians, and even the Christians had their stories of the Nephilim. Though the legends had all varied greatly, with some giants being good and some bad, some beautiful and some ugly, Jonathon had found one similarity. All of the giant races were considered dead. And that’s when it hit him.\n\nHe snatched his phone off of the floor and hastily found the number he needed to call. He tapped his fingers impatiently as it rang, and Loki decided those fingers could be put to better use as a head scratcher.\n\n“Hello, this is Higgs,” came the voice over the phone.\n\n“Frank!” Jonathon said hurriedly, “It’s Jonathon. You been watching the news?”\n\n“Jonathon! How are you? Ah…well yes, of course I’ve been watching the news. Who in their right mind wouldn’t?”\n\n“Right, sorry. Anyway, look I’ve found out something interesting in my research, about what’s been going on.”\n\n“Oh? Do tell.” Frank was another professor at Cambridge, and he’d started around the same time as Jonathon. They’d become fast friends, despite the unfortunate fact that Frank was a professor of physics. The physics professor didn’t sound overly impressed or interested in Jonathon’s discovery, but Jonathon carried on, needing to tell someone. \n\n“He’s right, Frank. Odin is right! There WERE giants in this world, many years ago! And one way or another they died or we killed them all off! Like, the story of David and Goliath. Goliath was the last of the giants, and he was taken out by a little boy with a rock.” \n\n“…OK…”\n\n“What will Odin say when he learns we KILLED them all?!” Jonathon couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice and his breathing started coming faster. If humanity was actually a race of beings that had conquered and killed off all of the giants, would Odin see them as a threat? Would he eradicate the humans in order to keep balance? Or would he simply shrug it off and go home as if it didn’t matter? Jonathon realized he needed to sit down, but he was already on the floor.\n\n“I think you need to take a deep breath Jonathon,” Frank said on the other end. “Maybe you’re right, but if you don’t tell anyone, maybe Odin won’t figure it out.”\n\nJonathon knew that Frank wasn’t a fan of the theology of religion, but he was pretty sure that the all-knowing and all-seeing All-Father would figure it out. \n\n“I…maybe you’re right. I’ll just make myself some tea and calm down a little. Thanks Frank.”\n\n“Any time!” Frank said. \n\nJonathon hung up the phone and let his arm drop to the floor. This was no time for tea unfortunately. \n\n“You’re friend’s right,” said a dark voice.\n\nJonathon gave a start and looked around the room.\n\n“Up here,” the voice said.\n\nSlowly, Jonathon turned his head left and up to locate the voice. All he saw was his cat.\n\n“You really should calm down Jonathon,” the cat said.\n\nThis was a first for Jonathon, who had frequently talked to his cat but never gotten more than a typical ‘meow’ as a response. \n\n“H-how are you…?”\n\n“Talking? Yes, well I’m not really a cat. Cats don’t talk of course.”\n\n“Of course.”\n\n“I’m Loki.”\n\n“Yes, I know that.”\n\n“No no, as in I’m the REAL Loki. From your books.”\n\nJonathon couldn’t stop staring. He thought back to when he’d adopted his cat from…where was it again? And they’d been together for so long! It had to be coming up on … some number of years. Well the details weren’t important. What was important was that Jonathon was talking with a cat, his cat, who claimed to be a trickster god from Norse myth. \n\n“Oh…right,” was all he could manage.\n\nLoki leaped down from the arm chair he had perched on and walked over to Jonathon. His black cat body still moved like a cat, but Jonathon noticed for the first time that his eyes, an unsettling bright green, looked almost human. Or maybe otherworldy. \n\n“Don’t worry about telling Odin,” Loki said with a flick of his tail. “I know he’ll figure it out eventually, but I don’t need you running off and exacerbating this.” \n\n“What do you mean?” Jonathon asked.\n\n“You see,” Loki started as he sat and curled his tail around his feet, “you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. I commend you for all the connections you’ve made, clearly you’re a clever human, but I’m afraid you’re wrong.”\n\nJonathon couldn’t look away from those green eyes, and he felt a chill go up his spine that may have had to do with the cooler weather, but Jonathon didn’t think so. \n\n“Actually, Odin’s wrong too!” Loki cat said with a slight laugh. “And that’s the fun of it. This has to be one of my best schemes yet actually, spreading false information, messing with the minds of the other Aesir and making them think THIS was Jotunheim. Ah, classic Loki.”\n\n“You mean…it’s a trick?”\n\nLoki scoffed, or tried to. It was a little difficult for a cat to scoff properly. “Of COURSE it’s a trick! I’m Loki! I don’t know when Odin will figure that out, but I want to see how long this lasts. Your…theories about the giants may have caused him to wipe out your entire race though.”\n\nJonathon gulped. \n\n“So I stopped you,” Loki continued. “He’ll figure it out, and when he does I’ll have a good laugh and we’ll all go home. If he’d heard what you had to say…well, I wouldn’t be laughing as I’d have been responsible for the complete annihilation of one of the Nine Realms. Plus I rather like you humans, you’re quite entertaining.”\n\n“Ah…” \n\n“So anyway, keep your mouth shut, go about your business, and enjoy the show!” The Loki cat smiled, and it was a little disturbing.\n\n“I have to ask, if I may…” Jonathon began. He didn’t want to accidentally offend the cat god, but Loki nodded, giving him permission to continue. “Why did you come live with me?”\n\n-----\nContinued in comments" ]	1
	[WP] God has a plan, and knows everything: except for why you died.	[ "\"So, let me get this straight. You're God?\"\n\nThe squinty little man sitting across the desk just nodded as he flipped through thick binders, absently making short annotations in the margins or running his finger along certain lines.\n\n\"Ok\", I thought to myself. This is not what I expected. There was no marble, no gilded anything, no puffy clouds or impossibly beautiful attendants wearing togas strumming lyres. This looked, by my reckoning, to be the lair of a middle manager in an accounting firm not the omnipotent over-being that created all of existence. Rows of shelves with thick binders, a wide utilitarian desk, several cheap desk chairs were the only furnishings in the entire room.The desk was littered with stacks of binders on either side of a small flat screen computer monitor. \n\nIn fact, the only non-utilitarian item in the whole room was a small plaque on the man's desk. It depicted a man holding on to a rocky outcrop by one hand, his face twisted with exertion, with the caption \"Commitment...when failure is always an option\".\n\nThe little man looked up from his papers, his eyes squeezed nearly shut. \"So, Mister Zolowski, it seems we've lost your final record.\"\n\nStartled, I sucked in a breath. The Creator took note of my discomfort immediately.\n\n\"Oh, now now. There's no need to worry. We'll get it straightened out,\" he said, waving a hand in a dismissive gesture that I'm sure was intended to be reassuring, but sent a shock of fear up my spine.\n\nThat hand smote people. That hand smote entire armies. I didn't want to be smitten on accident.\n\n\"What does that actually mean, though, um...your highness?\" I said after taking a moment to gather my composure.\n\n\"Oh, please, just call me Gary.\" he said, still flipping through binders.\n\n\"Very well...Gary. What does it mean that you can't find my record?\"\n\nHe looked up and for the first time since I arrived gave me his full attention. He wasn't mousy, by any means, just meek looking. He wore a black Polo shirt and khaki pants. His eyes, though, seemed to emit their own light. Even barely open, a slight shine of blue and gold peeked through nearly closed lids.\n\n\"Well, Mister Zolowski, here in Heaven, we strive to deliver exceptional customer service! We know you have a choice for your afterlife, and we want to show all of our clients how much we appreciate their business.\"\n\n\"My business?\" I replied, somewhat dumbfounded. \"I really don't understand.\"\n\n\"Yes, your business.\" he continued. \"Everyone that lives a good, wholesome, life full of kindness and honesty just increases our stock price. As a result, we're able to reinvest to make Heaven, LLC, the premier provider of eternity services.You might think of us as your permanent vacation destination.\"\n\n\"Oh. That sounds rather good then,\" I said, sitting a bit more comfortably in my chair. \"I don't recall how I got here. My last memories were of stopping at a gas station to pick up a Red Bull for a long drive. I paid the cashier. Got in my car and pulled back onto the highway behind a school bus. After that, nothing.\"\n\n\"Well, Mister Zolowski, that's actually the problem we're encountering right now. You see, every client is carefully cultivated from before birth. Our marketing department goes to great lengths to identify the best candidates after they are born in order to maximize our ROI.\"\n\n\"ROI?\" I asked.\n\n\"Return on Indoctrination,\" he replied.\n\nGary held up a binder the size of a cinder block with two hands. \"This, Mister Zolowski, is your life. Carefully cultivated and observed. You're done some great things and have been a tremendous investment! A life of honesty and commitment and compassion. Donating that kidney? Very nice touch, that.\"\n\n\"Oh, yes, thank you. That little orphan boy was just so cute. I couldn't really turn that down.\"\n\nGary flipped a few pages and held the binder up, facing out, showing a blank page.\n\n\"This, however, is where we hit a little snag. You see, how you die is almost as important as how you lived. Most people just continue on until nature..well...I...determine it's their time. Most people don't choose the manner of their death. I mean, yes, there are suicides and things of that nature. Frowned upon, of course.\"\n\n\"Of course,\" I nodded, as a spike of anxiety jabbed me in the chest. Did I commit suicide? I had no idea.\n\nGary continued, \"However, there are also many who heroically sacrifice for others. People in that category are elevated to Double Diamond status!\"\n\n\"Does that come with free Wi-Fi or something?\" I asked.\n\n\"Yes! In fact, it does. As well as premium accommodations, a Friends and Family plan to help loved ones along, access to all of the biggest blockbuster movies before they're filmed, periodic journeys to celestial events, and discounts on harps and other stringed instruments.\" \n\nGary leaned in, conspiratorially, \"We even throw in alternative timeline events! Want to hear all of Jimi Hendrix's recordings from the 80's before he retired in 1992 to become a Senator? We can get those for you.\"\n\n\"Oh, that does sound lovely, yes.\"\n\nGary continued to flip through other binders, occasionally stopping to tap at his keyboard and squint at his computer screen.\n\n\"So, Gary? Pardon me, but I am curious about something. I don't mean to question the Creator, but, you do know...everything, right?\"\n\nGary stopped typing.\n\n\"I used to, yes. But the memorization was much easier before the human population reached the billions. We've since undergone a tremendous effort to fully automate my record keeping. Our data center is, by far, the best in the universe,\"\n\n\"One could say, we invented 'cloud' storage,\" he said with a squinty-wink.\n\nI just nodded. Normally, I would have said a little prayer by now, but after seeing who was receiving them, I wasn't sure that would be wise at the moment given what I had to say. \n\n\"I'm qualified to stay here though, right? This is just researching if I get Double Diamond status?\"\n\nGary's face shifted to a dour expression. \"I'm afraid, Mister Zowloski, that the manner of your death is very important. If you had committed suicide, I'm afraid we'll have to reject you as a client. That is not...pleasant.\"\n\nI shifted uncomfortably in my seat for a moment. Whatever was happening here, it seems I've got two outcomes - Hell or Double Diamond. Maybe I can make a deal?\n\n\"Would it be possible to make a deal, Gary? I mean, if the two possibilities are heroic death or suicide, maybe we just split the difference? I get just regular Heaven, and not premium Heaven?\"\n\nGary chuckled and the room shook. \"Oh, Mister Zolowski, most people bargain before they die.\"\n\nMy mind raced. I wanted to remember so badly, but trying to access those last few moments of life was nearly impossible. Why can't I remember? More importantly, why can't God remember?\n\n\"How did this happen, anyway? How is it we don't know how I died?\" distress making my voice crack a little. \"We're talking eternity here!\"\n\n\"Oh, just a computer glitch,\" Gary replied casually. \"We do have hard-copy backups, but it's taking a while. Normally I get the transcriptions quickly, but I'm afraid Death is running behind. Right now I'm looking to see if any of your known associates are aware of how you died.\"\n\nI started to grow impatient. Part of me wanted to stall for more not-in-Hell time, part of me just wanted it over.\n\n\"This seems to be taking quite a bit of time. Though, I suppose, being a supreme being, time is rather irrelevant.\"\n\n\"Oh, my apologies, Mister Zolowski, I'm afraid my vision is rather poor. It takes me a bit to make out what I'm reading.\"\n\nI was taken aback. No one ever said anything about a nearsighted deity in any of my text books at seminary school.\n\n\"Forgive me, Gary, but...you're God. How did that even happen?\"\n\nGary gave a wry grin. \"I was rather new at being a Creator. Watched the Big Bang without proper eye protection. Rookie mistake, I'm afraid.\"\n\nI just slumped in my chair to await my fate. I no longer cared about Double Diamond, or Single Diamond, or even Shiny Rock, status. I just didn't want to find out I'd taken my own life for some reason and be sentenced to an eternity of torment.\n\nJust then, a small bell sounded on Gary's desk, and a chipper male voice piped in \"You've got mail!\"\n\n\"Ahh. Here we are. The report I've been waiting for.\"\n\nGary began to read. He squinted. Read again. Squinted again.\n\n\"Me damn it,\" he muttered under his breath.\n\n\"Mister Zolowski, would you be so kind as to read this report for me. I'm afraid Death insists on using Comic Sans, and I find that very difficult to make out.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] After dying, you suddenly woke up in a place that looks like Heaven. Noticing that you're sitting in some kind of throne, you asked a passing angel as to what you're doing there. "My Lord, you're the Almighty Creator Of All. Where else should you be?"	[ "I blink, somewhat perplexed.\n\n\"Pardon?\"\n\nThe angel nods, saying once again, \"You are the Almighty Creator of All.\"\n\nI sit back, pondering this, when the angel pulls out a golden, glimmering deed, with what appears to be my name signed at the bottom - Steve Buck. It's even got the fancy little loop I do with the S.\n\n\"Ah, I suppose - well. Do you remember all the bard's tales of selling one's soul to the devil?\" the angel asks. I nod my head, doing my best to ignore the fact that I really can't remember what I look like. \"Yes, well, the devil did always want soul contracts. In fact, he's still at large, pilfering from innocent beings who have yet to ascend, condemning them to his own poorly maintained universes for his own amusement.\"\n\nI stare for a moment, before confronting the obvious. \"But he's not real.\"\n\n\"But he is,\" the angel counters, \"Except even a being such as Lucifer is not omnipresent. He can manifest his power in many universes, but yours happens to be one he ignored.\"\n\nAs I consider this, the angel brings the contract closer for my reading. \"Now, as you can see here, this contract is made out to one - and only one - unit of Infinite Space. It's a lot smaller than it seems, believe me,\" he adds, \"And if you do well with this one, you might get another. Then if you do well with two, you'll get a third, and so on and so forth. Now, we should start with-\"\n\n\"Wait,\" I command, and the angel pauses instantly, waiting for me. \"...so, Lucifer - the Devil. Evil incarnate. Corrupter of men.\" The angel nodded, anxious. \"...he's just a slimy real estate agent.\"\n\nIt surprises me when the angel laughs openly and loudly at this; all smiles, mirth in his eyes. \"Ha! Yes, I suppose he is!\"\n\nA moment passes.\n\nIt feels like an eternity, and yet, time seems to be still.\n\n\"...so, how do we begin?\" The angel stows away the contract, and brings out a checklist miles long. \"What is - Item One, The Presence of Divinity?\"\n\n\"Yes,\" he nodded. \"First and foremost, we shall confront how obvious it shall be that gods and spirits are real, manipulating the world in their own ways.\n\nThe more obvious it is, the more likely it is that mortals may attempt to directly attack you, which is unlikely to do great harm, or attack the fabric of reality with what we call the UnReal, which may end your universe prematurely. You may know it from works of Lovecraft; incomprehensible things from beyond, bending and twisting in unnatural and frankly impossible ways.\n\nHowever, being obvious has its perks; it allows mortals to tap into the universe as you do, although to far lesser extents, and access what you might define as 'magic'. The culture, peoples, and lands that develop change depending on how present you are. It all depends on the type of world you'd like to build, of course.\"\n\n\"So,\" he says, looking me directly in the eyes, \"What would you choose?\"" ]	1
	[WP] You're allowed to ask God any question you want, and as many times as you want. You're not sure how to interpret it when it turns out every answer He gives you is exactly the same.	[ "\"Lord? Do You have a minute to talk?\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"Hm... I don't know if this is out of line, but... do You allow terrible things to happen? Is it part of Your plan?\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"Sigh... So the country was nuked for a reason? Something that will help the greater good?\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"What good will it accomplish? I know its all in Your hands and that You have a reason but what was the point?\"\n\n\"Yes!\" \n\n\"Lord this... this is um... so genocide, holocausts, why? Who did that help?\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"I'm being a heretic. Lets face it, asking these things is out of line. \"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"I'm sorry my god, please forgive me. I should probably go -\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"I'll... I'll see myself out\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"Wait. You know what? No! I have a right to ask these questions? Why should I be guilty of asking questions that I'm allowed to ask? These are questions that people rhetorically ask every day! I shouldn't be turned away! I should be congratulated!\"\n\n\"Yes!\"\n\n\"Yeah!... I mean, if You're ok with it, of course. I mean, I shouldn't become the next God for asking good questions, but I do deserve a place in Heaven!\"\n\n\"Yes!\" \n\n(and so on, still basing this off that Rick and Morty \"Hungry for Apples\" bit)" ]	1
You come from a long lived family and on your 23rd birthday, your dad drunkenly shares this secret with you and says, "You know what, m'boy? I'm just so happy I finaly had a son!"	[WP] The best kept secret in the world is that if you live to be 100, you will go to sleep that night and wake up as your 16 year old self with all of your past memories intact.	[ "Sequential livelihood. The key to immortality. The biggest, most well kept secret in mankind's history...\n\nWas exposed by an eight-year-old boy.\n\nIt all started on the eve of grandma Bertha Oleigh's one-hundredth birthday. Her family hid her in the attic of their three-story home in Georgia, USA. She was too old to be seen in public.\n\nHarry, her great-great-grandson, had just celebrated his eighth birthday. His older brother Tim woke him up at the stroke of midnight, by singing him the happy birthday song, because he wanted some recognition for being a good big brother. \n\nThat silly surprise planted an idea in Harry's head; an idea that would change the world forever.\n\nOn the eve of grandma Bertha Oleigh's one-hundredth birthday, little Harry snuck up to her hidden room with his brother's smartphone, which he used to record his reenactment of what happened on his recent birthday.\n\nAt exactly midnight, Harry jumped onto her bed and yelled \"Happy one-hundredth birthday!\" Startled, Bertha woke up.\n\n\"Huh? Huh?\"\n\n\"Happy birthday to youuu,\" Harry sang. \"Happy birthday to youuu-\"\n\nIn front of Harry's eyes, and in view of his brother's smartphone's nightvision camera, Bertha's body began to change. Her bones ossified, her skin became tighter, and her teeth grew back in. All of her hair returned to its natural blond color.\n\nScreaming, Harry ran out of the room. He closed the door to his great-great-grandmother's room and returned his brother's phone to his room. Then, he fell asleep in his own bed. Harry forgot about the event, thinking that he dreamed it.\n\nThe next day, Harry's brother discovered the video that Harry had made and posted it on the internet. By that time, Bertha Oleigh was gone, heading to a country with picturesque beaches to take full advantage of her reclaimed youth. But it was too late.\n\nHistory changed forever, thanks to little Harry." ]	1
	[WP] You haven't been to this bank since you were sixteen, you had forgotten you even had an account here. On a whim you walked in after meeting a friend for lunch in your old neighbourhood. You join the queue behind three other people. The teller looks you dead in the eyes and starts to sweat.	[ "The man looked familiar. Fourth in line, I recognized him.\nHis face was on a dozen dossiers they had sent out over the years. \n\"It's him.\" I thought. He must not know. How could he? \n\nTen years ago, the kid only had a few hundred dollars worth of lawn mowing money in his QuickEZ-checking account.\nMaybe he was saving for a car, perhaps for future tuition. But that mattered little by this point. He would never have enough money in his checking account to avoid what happened...\n\nTen years of compounding and cyclical overdrafts had created something of a black hole where the remnants of his account once sat within the automated systems' ledgers. \n\nIt started quite simply, with a few service fees on a neglected account; but once the first service fee that overdrafted the account caused another fee, things got out of control fast. A fee was assessed as standard practice for having a negative balance, causing another overdraft ad infinitum. By the time the bank's \nautomated systems flagged the account for human review, it was too late. The account had been hit with an automatic two Million dollar negative balance modifier for the bank's protection, the account was intended to be locked, and once this happened, the FTC were to step in. It certainly didn't happen that way. Something went terribly wrong.\n\nThe FTC, in all their authority, were not to be outgunned by the IRS, who had taken significant interest in the account during earlier investigations of possible tax avoidance issues\nwith a small lawn mowing business. People were starting to question just as to why this account was beginning to collapse inward upon itself; and where the account holder was. Legal notices were sent to the last known address of the account holder, but were never responded to. Phone calls were made by the IRS, through their India Special Task Force Division, seeking inquiry; but reports mention that the account holder would simply hang up. The court had attempted to issue several warrants under the authority of the Internal Revenue Service for tax evasion, but the FTC had raised significant opposition to this, as investigations were currently\nunderway of the bank account itself, which by this point was nearing a singularity. A stack overflow within the main accounting software (which was still running on FORTRAN and punch cards at its core)\ncaused the account to become unable to be frozen, locked, or erased from the system without taking down the entire region's banking systems for a month while we punched new cards for several million accounts by hand. That much downtime would be catastrophic. Caught between a rock and a hard place, we at the time, just kept it running operations. To make matters worse, soon the account had become so negative that it cycled and began to gravitate the flow of transactions in a reverse manner, causing the\nbank itself to lose money every time the irreversible account fee was processed. And it was happening fast. Our own systems were on the brink of consuming themselves with backwards overdraft fees that were drawing funding from the bank itself. The bank was hemorrhaging its core account into the black hole that had been created, and no one could stop it without shutting down the highly secure IBM 650 Mainframe that oversaw main account operations over a sophisticated telephony network predating DARPAnet. \n\nHow can I tell him...\n\nHow may I help you today (I said with a smile)\n\nThat was when I heard the screech of tires. And then they came. " ]	1
	[WP] You are the overlords of the realm of infinite shadow. You can bend minds to your will, and hold dominion over all you survey. Now comes the day you have dreaded for centuries... Mother is coming for a visit	[ "Taz'groth turned his creaking neck towards his brother, Irthanius, whom was glaring towards the feeble man pleading on his two broken knees for mercy.\n\n\"What shall we do with this one, brother?\"\n\n\"He begs for forgiveness, though thou know thy sin committed shall not be treated with woe and amiability.\" Irthanius' head kept still, his glowing red eyes fixated on the man before him. His fingers tapped rhythmically on the obsidian chair below him. \"Hast one sung the song of iniquity past times?\"\n\n\"Never my lord,\" the crying man said. He was in tears, his body stripped and beaten of true life down to the very bone at his core. \"I will not sin again neither if you shall grant me this pardon!\"\n\n\"Enough talk sap, or I will gather the skin from your rotting skeletal and make a shade from its remnants!\" Taz'groth spat the words from his vile mouth, his tongue flicking out from under his jet, metal helmet.\n\n\"Sister?\" Irthanius asked, suggestions in his voice. Her head turned towards him, unchanging in expression. \"Taketh unto the Barrows until fate further his fortune.\" With a nod, Sister rose from her hardened throne and grasped the man by his head, dragging him from the circle amongst the four Overloads of the Shadow Realm. The man screamed in pain as her armour-clad fingers shaped like talons dug into his skull.\n\n\"Punishment is needed,\" Taz'groth said, turning to Irthanius.\n\n\"In due time. For now, thou needeth rest. Take your leave, I wish to consult with the Vasen.\"\n\nThe two brothers nodded in compliance before leaving, Amnigol staggering just behind Taz'groth's marching lead.\n\nIrthanius stood from his throne, his bulky black armour made from the finest of obsidian plates in the entirety of the twelve realms jangling against his body. He knelt down in the center of the throne room, conjuring the Vasen. It was a large spiked pedestal with a translucent, glowing orb in the middle, full of bright purples and devious blues. His hands traced around it, before suddenly, his mind was yanked into the Vasen's sight. The clouds inside the orb flew around his brain, giving him visions of what was, what is and what will be in the dominion of his rule. He was the king, and the king ruled all.\n\nOr so he thought.\n\nWhilst his mind searched for threats and death in all forms, his eyes came across something he had not seen for a very long time. The shape of it was peculiar. It seemed to have large spiked legs and a towering body in its center, but as it grew closer, Irthanius knew exactly what he was gazing towards. It was the vicious monster he knew all too well, but had forgotten all so much about, like a deep memory from an unsheltered past. \n\n\"Mother...\"\n\n\nI have to leave this here as I need to go, but I may carry on at some point in a reply. It's rough and unedited, but I wanted to have some fun with it. Hope you enjoy :)" ]	1
It would be awesome If your tale is a haiku The whole story please Edit: Hey mods, can you reflair the post to writing prompt? Thanks	[WP] People in your tale/Must speak in perfect haiku/Or else they will die	[ "Hiding in shadows, blending in with the nature, silently scanning. \n\nIf I were to speak, even if it was a peep, they would soon find me. \n\nI'm running from them, do you know what I have done? One day, I'll say, yeah? \n\nI can't tell you now, as it's too dangerous here, but like I said, no. \n\nI was found at last/I'm running an' firing/looking for shelter. \n\nI am still alive, as I saw you were worried; don't be scared, my love. \n\nMaybe it's time, yeah? I guess I'll tell you why, then. It's August morning. \nI was poor back then. I found a job from someone/name's not important; \nall I had to do/was to kill someone named Rin/and hide her body. \nDesperate for coin, I took the job and killed her/and I hid her... uhh... \nI've forgotten where, but you get the idea; now they're after me. \nI don't truly know/what they're going to do, but... seeing past victims... \nI can only trust/as you are the only one/that I love in life. \n___", "It was an old law, one which ev'rybody knew, yet he disobeyed. Haikus had once been, many centuries ago, signs of intellect. Then throughout the courts of the Crimson Emperors they became the norm. Now it's offensive to speak any other way to the Emperor.\n\nOnce you're used to it, following the haiku form becomes a habit, in much the same way you speak without giving thought to grammar or stress. There could be no doubt that Lord Pantu consciously broke the haiku rule when he dared amend the old, formulaic prayer often heard in court:\n\n>May you yet enjoy,\n\n>Imperial Majesty,\n\n>long life and good health.\n\nHe had dared to let \"endless life and faultless health\" replace that last line.\n\nMaple leaves like blood drip from bough to weathered stone carpeting the scene. Pantu, once a lord, stripped of gold and silver now wears a chain of steel as he is led forth from his cell across the yard and onto the steps.\n\nMeekly he obeys as he is ordered to kneel, and kisses the stone. By the draw of night he shall be forever held by the ground's embrace.\n\nGeneral Jian, favoured executioner of the Emperor draws his glinting steel, rests it on the ex-lord's neck, then raises it high. The cut, swift and clean, severs the treasonous mouth from treasonous heart." ]	2
	[WP] God's friends are angry at him because he accidentally let the humans spread on their planets and there isn't much they can do about it.	[ "Hello, you have eight new messages.\n\nFirst new message.\n\n\nHi God, It's Kailie, call me back. It's important. \n\nSecond new message.\n\n\nHey bro, I.. \nWhat are you doing? Put that down! \nI'll call you back.\n\n\nThird new Message.\n\n\nclick\n\n\nFourth new message.\n\n\n click\n\n\nFifth new message.\n\nThis is a message for God, Aries speaking. I stumbled upon some organics outside my door. Their outward appearance leads me to believe they might be yours. I'm unsure whether they're proclaiming war or worshiping me. \nEither way, could you please call me back when you get the chance? \nThank you. \n\n\nSixth new message.\n\n \nClick\n\n\nSeventh new message.\n\nHow are you doing? I'm dandy.\n\nJust woke up from my 7 thousand year nap, and do you know what I woke up to? Your little science project dismantling of my domes!\n\n\nYou promised that humans would be contained to earth. \"It's going to be fine\" you said, \"they're barely biped\" you said. \n\n\nWell, guess what? They showed up to my place, and they're acting like they own it! \n\nThey apparently took it upon themselves rename my home to GN-z11. They practically rolled up a \"We live here now!\" mat on my front lawn!\n\nI swear to Gwyn, if you don't fix this mess, I'm going to start dissecting those organ filled sacs.\n\nOh yeah, you better call Amygdalum and apologize, apparently they tried to eat him.\n\nEighth new message.\n\n\nCOME GET YOUR ANIMALS! THEY TRIED TO EAT ME! \n", "\"Come on God!\" Jeff exclaimed, his eyes blazing with annoyance. \"You had one job! Now they're all over the place!\"\n\nGod looked down at his shoes, lazily kicking a pebble.\n\n\"I.. I did the flood thing like you asked me to but...\" God's voice drifted off. \n\n\"But what?\", Jeff retorted impatiently. \"You chose to pop out for an extra long lunch?\" \n\nGod's face turned a deep purple as he blushed but said nothing. \n\n\"Look, God\" Jeff continued, changing his tone to that of a mentor instructing a student. \"I took you on for this assignment because we go way back and I really want to help you out here, but you have to give me something! The boss is going to be all over my ass for this and it was supposed to be simple enough for a compete novice to handle. It was meant to be a clean and simple world, a paradise to the customer, and now it's completely overrun by an advanced civilization spewing pollution and causing devastation all over the place. They're even chopping all the trees down!\"\n\nGod, still not quite willing to meet Jeff's eyes, started to strammer an apology, his hands in an open, apologetic gesture to his sides.\n\n\"I don't know what to say, Jeff, I'm sorry! Last I looked, the humans had a fairly small, primitive and isolated civilization, and I left them with some basic commandments that would keep them calm for a while. I even instituted multiple religions that were slightly different, you know, too keep them fighting amongst themselves so they wouldn't spread too much.\" \n\nHis voice took on a higher pitch with every word he spoke, the words tumbling out of his mouth at a quicker rate by the second. \n\n\"The population seemed stable before I left for lunch. Then, when I came back, they were all over the place! I panicked! I tried throwing a plague in there, like the beginner's manual says, but they just seemed to shrug it off! No one said anything about this possibly happening in training!\"\n\nJeff took a deep, steadying breath and held his hands up in a defensive, disarming gesture.\n\n\"Ok...\", he said, \"ok... I'm just trying to figure this out. I have another world that is pretty pristine so far, maybe we could do a switcheroo and still make it in time for delivery. I'll ask Bob to get on it. But in the mean-time, keep an eye on Earth and the humans! Make sure they at least stay on that planet and don't let them spread beyond! It's important, God!\"\n\nGod, his eyes growing wide in a wave of panic, stared at Earth on his console. His voice came out merely a whisper:\n\n\"They just arrived at Mars, Jeff\"\n\n(edit: more words, dyac) " ]	2
	[WP] In an alternate universe, sorcery and science exist together - and are taught in various schools. You are jumping into a first-year magic course at a university.	[ "\"And... Fundamentals of Magic 1100?\" My advisor peered at me over the edge of his glasses, looking over my syllabus.\n\n\"It's...ah. Yes.\" I paused in the faintest hope that I wouldn't have to explain the issue further, but he continued to stare at me in adamant silence. I didn't blame him. Nobody reached university these days without at least a little bit of magical training. Most were at least up to alchemy by the time they graduated high school. \n\n\"Miss Heimert, you do realize that this institution requires rigorous study in the magical arts?\"\n\n\"Yes...sir. I do understand that, and it was a big part of the reason I decided to come here.\" Something inside me began to knit itself into a ball. My parents are Fundamentalists, and-\"\n\n\"I see.\" He cut me off, handing me back my syllabus. Apparently no other explanation was needed.\n\nIt had been that way from the instant I had set foot on campus. When I needed to ask how to set the wards to lock my room. After a talking cat scared me off my bike on a trip to the corner store. When I stumbled in on a ritual in the girls' bathroom. Everyone was so confused by my confusion - the things so natural to them were not a part of the world I had grown up in. \n\nWalking back from my meeting with my advisor, it took everything in me not to hail a flying broomstick and head back home. If it hadn't cost all my savings to get to the University - and if flying broomsticks actually worked in New Statesia - I might actually have done it. But after everything I had gone through - the permits, the planning, the begging and pleading - failing so early wasn't an option. Rather than fill me with some sort of divine inspiration, I felt deflated when I walked into my dorm room and spotted Alyssa standing at the Magic Mirror doing something to her hair. \n\n\"Lauren? Hand me my wand?\" \n\nI looked at her desk. There were several wooden objects of varying lengths - those were pencils, I was sure of it, and I was pretty sure that one was a measuring device of some sort. I picked up what I thought to be the most likely candidate and held it out to her. \"Uh...here?\"\n\nAlyssa eyed me - then she passed me by and without a word picked up a different wooden rod from the other side of the desk, turning back to the Magic Mirror. Right now, it showed Alyssa in a different outfit and different makeup than she wore right now - a black cocktail dress, lacy shrug and heels. \n\n\"What's that for?\" \n\n\"It's showing me the look to use if I want to get Gregory to ask me on a date. But this,\" she said with a slight wave of the wand, \"is how I should look if I want to keep things going with Eliza. What do you think?\"\n\n\"I - ah - I think the pink one is cute,\" I said, glancing at her reflection, which wore a short kimono-style dress.\n\n\"I don't mean about the dresses,\" she said, a note of exasperation in her voice. \"I mean which one of them should I go out with? Gregory or Eliza?\"\n\n\"I guess the one you like the most?\"\n\n\"Well, I like Eliza the most, obviously. Or at least, I'm going to if the fortune teller my mom paid for after graduation was worth the money. 'You will marry a fair-skinned woman with hair like fire, whose name begins with the letter E, who walks on summer seas.' That's obviously her.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" I said. I had heard of the practice of paying for fortune tellers after graduation, but never actually spoken to any of my fellow graduates about their predictions. \"So - if you're going to marry Eliza, shouldn't you just go out with her?\"\n\n\"And miss having some fun?\" she said. \"That is, if Greg is worth the fun. Hence how difficult it is making a decision.\" She focused her attention back on the mirror, leaving me confused as ever.\n\n##\n\nWhere was the third floor? It had taken me ages to find the building at the center of campus. Of all the things in the magical world that confounded me, nothing could ever top magical architecture. Buildings floated in the air, or on island in the middle of Scottish lochs that had somehow made their way to Rhode Island. Stairs twined and tumbled all around me, with students hurriedly making their way to class along them, or through them on broomstick. \n\nMy building was an ancient castle that sat dwarfed between two large concrete skyscrapers. It had a distinct look of disuse - unsurprising given that it was set aside for the lower level students, and most people attending Helena McBride University were far more advanced in their studies. \n\nNow, though, I was faced with another problem. While there had been multitudes of stairs outside, there were absolutely none in here. \n\n\"Ex-excuse me!\" I stopped a younger man with blonde hair as he strode by, goblet full of steaming coffee in hand.\n\n\"Can I help you, miss?\"\n\n\"Yes. I'm sorry. I know this is going to sound stupid, but how do I get to the third floor? I have no idea, and I'm going to be late-\"\n\n\"Oh. This building uses Perceptive Traveling,\" he said. \n\n\"Come again?\"\n\n\"Teleportation. A magical form of it. The school board thought it would be a good idea since most of the students here come from a science-oriented background, but all it does is make things more confusing.\" He laughed and shook his head. \"Just think of where you need to go. I mean, focus, obviously you're already thinking about it. It should pop you right on up.\"\n\n\"Oh - all right.\" \n\nWhat he'd said sounded like the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. Magical teleportation? But teleportation was founded on several important scientific principals - it had taken ages for mankind to discover it. And if people could do it just by waving a wand, then-\n\nNo, Lauren. You came here to stop yourself from thinking like that, I reminded myself, folding my campus map up and putting it in my bag before doing as the man had told me. \n\nI focused on the third floor. And nothing happened. I focused on the idea of the third floor. I focused on everything I could think of that related to the third floors of every building I had ever been to. And just when I was certain that the man was playing a joke at the expense of some poor sap who knew nothing about magic - \n\n\"Oh!\" The wind had almost been knocked out of me, but I was standing upright in what was obviously a different part of the same building. I looked around. There were a few students huddled near a door nearby, and I made my way over to them. \"Is this Professor Patrick's class? Fundamentals of-\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" said one girl, sounding sheepish. She lowered her voice slightly. \"Why are they making you take it? I bombed my divination and alchemy reviews. Still can't believe they're letting me come to school here, but my grandfather was a board member back in the day, so...\"\n\n\"Beatrice, stop showing off,\" said another boy who stood nearby. He shrugged a bag further up his shoulder, looking a little uncomfortable. \"I don't really like the idea of sitting in a room being taught magic like I'm some sort of child. I learned the elements when I was five, and now I can't even carry a wand on campus until I finish this course.\"\n\nThe girl - Beatrice - rolled her eyes. \"Who cares if it's allowed? I can do and have done since I got here, Ian.\"\n\nThe boy's eyes widened slightly, his discomfort level seeming to rise even more. It seemed he was about to say something when the group around them fell silent. Lauren turned to see the younger blonde man from before at the edge of their group, piece of chalk in hand. \n\nHe gave them a wry smile as he strode forward and made some small making on the door that made it swing open, and then everyone began to file into the room after him. \n\n\"Sorry class, it took me a moment to get here. As you've probably guessed, my name is Walter Patrick. This is Fundamentals of Magic 1100. I know most of you don't want to be here, and probably think you shouldn't be here. I get that. But for some students, this will be their first exposure to magic. \n\n\"I want you to remember - remember what it was like the first time you held fire in the palm of your hand. Remember the first time you called down rain from the heavens, or read the future in the stars. Magic is a gift. A beautiful, wonderful, dangerous gift. Consider this your chance to get to know magic from the beginning - to see it with new eyes, the same way that these students will.\"\n\n\"By the Gods, I hope there's no idiots like that in here,\" said Beatrice, a little too loud. The entire classroom erupted into laughter - all except me. I slumped down into my seat, hoping that nobody could see me.\n\nHoping that nobody would take notice of the tears in my eyes after Professor Patrick's speech.", "\"You'll never believe what he's actually thinking of taking seriously,\" kyle said as we met up for our final Bunsen burner engineering club.\n\n\n\"your future,\" Jim laughed alone before we joined him in mere seconds.\n\n\n\"ha ha ha, very funny, you wanna somethin actually funny,\" kyle said.\n\n\n\"When your with a girl, they take out their Single Variable Calculus Homework and you ask why;they tell you it's because you're not hard enough for them?\" He laughed once more.\n\n\n\"That's our Jim, always on Fire.\" I said.\n\n\n\"Okay though, enough, guys.\" said kyle.\n\n\n\"Anyways, Steve said he's going for the Sorcery Route.\"\n\n\n\"and? why is that a problem, this is literally a mixed campus\" we all replied in unison. That would have been surprising if all three of us didn't know one another since elementary school. Kyle was the new one in the group, so we teased him a bit more than one another.\n\n\n\"That's the most useless degree ever. Wait, while a boil some herbs to take you out; while we'll be sitting there with our laser guns on him. Think about what employer ever said wow a sorcerer! How can we ever function without you and your costume! And I imagine no girl would give him a second glance\" Kyle exasperated.\n\n\n\"Well, it's been well known that it helps with your critical thinking capabilities, appreciate the other half of our history, and being a more rounded person.\" Jim said.\n\n\n\"I'd totally sleep with someone whose studied sorcery,\" carol chimed.\n\n\n\"You would sleep with anyone, you don't have a very exclusive list\" Kyle snorted.\n\n\n\"anyone except you that is,\" Carol said, as she closed her eyes tight and stuck out her tongue.\n\n\n\"Funny, you talk about having an exclusive list, Kyle, considering, how desperate for any girl that's nice to you.\"\n\n\n\"Kyle, you should check it out, you might learn something from that class; think about it, it might even make you more unique and attractive.\" I said.\n\n\n------------------------------------------------\nSeeing Kyle enter the exam room, I couldn't help but run up to him, Jim and Carol not far behind, and ask. \"So, how was it!\"\n\n\n\"You know it wasn't that bad. You see not everything in life is about instantaneous results and applications. They have an interesting way to life. And their applications are far above what the scope of science can encapsulate.\" Kyle said .\n\n\n\"Kyle!\" carol said\n\n\n\"dude, did they do a spell on you?\" Jim said.\n\n\n\"I mean this is college after all, people are constantly changing,\" Kyle said as he smiled.\n\n\n\"hmm, maybe I'll take a look at it, see what happens. What course would you suggest?\" I asked.\n\n\n\"You seem like the kind of person who would enjoy introduction to orbs.\"\n\n\n----------------------------------------------\nAs I heard, a large number of the students had dyed their hair in bright colors and in crazy styles. Some had green spiky Mohawks, others had kept their pig tails but shaved everything else off. I got a few glares and odd stares everyone now and again; gosh, I must be the weird one to them.\n\nAfter a few minutes of looking for a seat, I decided to sit in the far back. A bald man wearing a blue shirt with white strips, black slacks, and leather brown dress shoes entered the room and stood at the very front of the class. Taking this signal, everyone began to find a seat and quite down.\n\n\n\"Welcome class, today is the first day of our study of orbs: what they are, what they can do, what they can't do, what they can be made to do with a lot of elbow grease, and some moral guides about them.\" he said." ]	2
	[WP] A middle aged peasant who lost his wife to disease is eagerly anticipating a raid by the infamous dread pirate Roberta.	[ "“William, what do you think you’re doing?” Caleb said, shouting down from the watchtower. “Get inside before we have to shut the gates!”\n\nWilliam, smiled up at Caleb, squinting in the bright light of the sunrise. He nervously fidgeted with the cuffs of his jacket as he spoke. “Never you mind Caleb, I’ll be fine!”\n\nBoth men turned to look out over the harbor, a fast-approaching ship with black sails clearly visible against the clear blue sky. There was a distant puff of smoke rising from the ship, as somewhere nearby a cannonball crashed into the wall. The sound of the cannon followed soon after, echoing over the empty water.\n\n“William, please!” Caleb shouted desperately. “They’re just rumors man, get a hold of yourself!”\n\n“I’m sure your father raised you not to speak that way about a lady, Caleb!” William shouted back, absentmindedly checking his shirt for creases. “You know, back when I was your age…”\n\n\n“She’s a pirate!” Caleb gestured furiously at the approaching ship, more black sails now visible on the horizon behind it. “A dread pirate! What kind of lady is a dread pirate?! She’d sooner shoot you than have a conversation!”\n\n“Oh no no, not Roberta.” William replied, one hand adjusting his collar as he spoke. “You know, Mary was the same way really, very adventurous, very brave. Come now Caleb, we can’t judge her before we’ve met her.” Both men winced as another cannonball struck the wall nearby, showering the area in minute splinters. “They say she’s really quite lovely. And about my age!”\n\n“William, be reasonable!” Caleb shouted, but his voice was drowned out by the thunderous crash of the gate closing. The first ship had landed, and in the distance he could see a woman with an enormous hat leading the charge.\n\nWilliam stood a bit straighter, a bouquet of flowers clutched tightly in one hand. As the pirates approached the gate, Caleb could see him surreptitiously checking his breath.\n\nThe ragtag group stopped just out of range of the town’s defenders, and the leader herself approached alone, brandishing a pistol in one hand. William went out to meet her, stopping halfway between the two groups.\n\n“Good morning!” William shouted, his voice carrying faintly on the wind back to Caleb. “Are you Roberta, then?”\n\nAs she stood next to him, Caleb realized she was actually taller than William. She smiled wickedly as she looked down at the man. “What’s it to you?” She replied, a sneer audible in her voice.\n\nHis previous nervousness gone, William handed the bouquet to Roberta, who accepted it seemingly out of surprise and instinct more than a conscious decision. He then bowed slightly, a dip of the head and a quick, elegant removal of his cap.\n\n“My name is William, William duFeot, and I present myself as your humble suitor.” He smiled as he straightened back up, his hat once again on his head. “I must say, the rumors don’t do you justice.”\n\nRoberta seemed stunned, frozen on the spot and mouth slightly ajar. After several seconds she began to laugh, a hearty, deep laugh that caused her to double over, one hand resting on a knee for support. When her laughter subsided a mischievous mile rested on her face, and she wiped a tear from one eye with the hand holding the pistol.\n\n“Perfect!” She shouted, turning to state at the wall where Caleb stood with an exaggerated actress’ flair. “Boys and girls, looks like this town’s too tough for us!”\n\nShe turned away from the city, brandishing the bouquet of flowers like it was the cutlass sheathed at her side. “Too much trouble, not enough treasure. Back to the ships!”\n\nAs the pirates began to storm back to their ships, Roberta stretched out an arm, pulling William into a headlock as she followed her crew. Caleb could swear he saw the man smiling as he was half-dragged, half walked beside her.\n" ]	1
	[WP] When the forces of darkness went too far, every pantheon turned on them.	[ "Lucifer stared down from his palace. The burning hellscape all around him was packed with demons, devils, and every other D-word he could think off. It was time. It was HIS time. God cast him out of heaven but Lucifer had a response, even if it was thousands of years later. He was ready. His army was ready. But so was Earth. Lucifer heard footsteps behind him. No one should be on the balcony but him and Lilith, his closest commander and trusted companion, and she was in his line of sight. Both of them turned to see a jackal and a skull, both furious.\n\n\"Lucy, what the hell do you think your doing?\" Anubis growled.\n\n\"We need Earth, you fool.\" Hades stomped to show off his anger.\n\n\"I care not for the needs of two forgotten pantheons.\" Lucifer scoffed, \"You have no power here, not since He took over.\"\n\n\"We may no longer be able to challenge you, but _they_ can stop you.\" Anubis turned and walked away.\n\n\"Who is 'they', may I ask? Because if I recall correctly, no one follows the Egyptian or the Greek pantheons anymore. Without followers, you are powerless.\" Lucifer was smug, as the Prince of Pride should be.\n\n\"It's not us you should worry about. There are others with numbers catching up to yours soon enough.\" Hades laughed and disappeared, returning to his beloved Persephone.\n\n\"Pfeh, I have nothing to worry abou-\" Lucifer was interrupted by a rumble. A bad sign, no doubt.\n\n\"Lucifer, you will not harm a single hair on my peoples' heads.\" a voice rumbled out. It was familiar, but distant, like a song you cannot remember the title of but you remember the chorus.\n\nLucifer scowled, tired of the delays. He just wanted to invade earth already, god dammit.\n\n\"Reveal yourself!\" Lilith yelled in Lucifer's place, she too was tired of the antics of forgotten gods.\n\nA bizarre portal opened, and Kali stepped through.\n\n\"Lucifer, I swear to every god in every pantheon if you go through with this, you will pay.\"\n\n\"Why is that? What do _you_ care, Kali?\" Lucifer spat, \"This is between me and Him, not you, not Hades or Anubis, so why do you interfere?\"\n\n\"Because you threaten my people, and that is something even I will not stand for. You sent a crusade on innocent lives once, you will not do it again.\" Kali was adamant, and dangerous.\n\nAll Lucifer did was laugh.\n\n\"If it is a war you want, it is a war you will get.\" Lucifer waved his hand and walked away, \"Lilith, manage our men. I need to meet with Mammon and see what he and his one percent can do about this.\"\n\n\"You do not realize the mistake you make, Lucifer.\" Kali shook her head before stepping back to her realm.\n\nAs Jesus observed through the all-seeing eyes all he did was shake his head as a single tear tried to escape his eye. This wasn't what he wanted. It wasn't what anyone wanted. " ]	1
	[WP] A lonely old woman summons company for Christmas	[ "\"Who dares summon my pre—\" Satan stopped and gawked at the frail, old woman sitting on a rocking chair by the fireplace. He was expecting to be summoned in someone's dank basement and the summoner to be someone donned in dark robes and had a gloomy disposition. He wasn't anticipating being with a cheerful old woman in this homely living room. \n\nHer wrinkled face brightened up and her lips quivered in disbelief. \"My, I wasn't expecting that you'd actually come, dear. How's your parents? Did they receive the letters I sent? I haven't heard from them in years.\"\n\nSatan had never been so baffled in his entire life. He scanned the cozy room for the summoning ritual, and his mouth twitched in wry amusement when he spotted the chocolate cake with red icing on top. The old bird had unintentionally made his sigil. \n\nHe turned to the old lady and was oddly perturbed when he saw fondness in those wizened eyes. \"Do you know who I am, woman?\"\n\nShe snorted in response and gave him another toothless smile. \"How could I not recognize my only grandson? Oh, forgive your grandma, I didn't even prepare your favorite tea. Must be because I'm not getting any younger. I really wasn't expecting you, you see. Can you help me up, dear? I can't seem to find my cane.\"\n\nSatan stepped forward, but then stopped himself and glanced at his own reflection on the glass table. He was menacing, he was wicked looking, and he was undoubtedly the devil at first glance. Why did this old bird confuse him with her grandson? \n\nHe formed his hands into fists so his sharp nails wouldn't graze the old bird's frail skin and led her to the kitchen. She then busied herself with boiling the water in a kettle and Satan settled himself on one of the bar stools in the kitchen counter as he watched her. \n\n\"How long have you been living alone, woman?\" he asked boredly as he drummed his fingers on the counter. \n\n\"Well, it's been a little over three years since your Gramps Leon passed away. Your parents didn't even bother to visit this old lady, but I'm always happy when you visit during your school breaks.\" She didn't sound particularly sad, but there was a wistful tone in her voice that made Satan, a heartless devil, feel bad for her. \n\nWhy, those heartless people... There's a special place for them in hell, and I'll make sure to be very attentive to them, he thought wickedly, anger slowly bubbling. \n\nGrandma placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him carefully. The scent of cinnamon wafted in the air. She even sliced a generous piece of chocolate cake and handed him a fork. \"Liam, dear, can you help me find my spectacles? I tend to be forgetful, and now I can't remember where I last put them.\"\n\nLiam's parents... What should I do to them first? There are a lot of ways to torture souls, but I wanted their first to be exceptionally spectacular. So much that they'll regret neglecting this sweet, old bird.\n\n\"Dear? Help me find my glasses,\" she prompted gently when she didn't hear Satan's response. \n\nSatan seemed to snap out of his reverie and quickly found the glasses. But instead of handing it to her, he effortlessly crushed it with his hand. He didn't want to crush the old bird's heart as he just did to her glasses, and the only way to prevent that was to go along with this farce. \n\nBesides, having someone fussing over him and being attentively doting seemed nice. \n\n\"I can't find them, grandma. Want me to help you with that?\" I said instead with a smile. \n\nChristmas is supposed to be His day, but they didn't say anything about the devil having some warmhearted time of his own. " ]	1
	[WP] "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is true. When you leave Las Vegas, your memory is wiped.	[ "The readings died down and the hum of the machine fell silent in the room. The man, 45 year old Richard Conra who’d had a “particularly eventful” stay over the past weekend now had no recollection of even entering. He blinks a couple times, he has a quick moment of panic (most do) before recalling his now most current memory; his decision that led him to this point. I walk slowly towards him and offer my hand and help him out the chair. He’s still disoriented and hesitant. In his eyes I can see he wants to ask questions but doesn’t even know where to start. I guide him to the check out station down the hall where a woman behind a glass cubicle talks through a mounted speaker.\n\n“Sir what is your name?” \n\nHe pauses for a moment. “Richard I think.”\n\n“Whats your last name sir.”\n\n“Conra.”\n\nThe woman takes a moment to press some buttons on her keyboard before getting up and shuffling through some drawers to her right. Richard waits silently still trying to fill the gaps that he’d agreed to stay empty. The woman after a few moments returns with a small black bin and plucks out some items.\n\n“Mr. Conra.”\n\n“Yes?”\n\n“Here is your parking pass. Your car is parked on level 5. An assistant will be here shortly to guide you there.” She hands him a small index card through the gap; he grasps it daintily. “If your still confused please read the information on this card.” Those cards were commonplace among the forgotten folk, templates that reaffirmed the reasoning for our clients gaps in memory. In my mind I could hear the words that he’d written himself before he went inside.\n\nHey Rich,\n\nIf your reading this then your wild weekend in Vegas has come to a close. Don’t be alarmed or scared your not supposed to remember, hell the board would kill you if they saw what you were into (which they very well could). This is for the best, trust me.\n\nRich.\n\nDespite Richards continued confusion he was not new to this design, rather he was one of the few I actually knew by name. He was a sick bastard. The type of guy that erased his memory to keep his life rather than his sanity. I wished that somehow his “enjoyment” could leak but it never would. Once memories were gone they were just that…poof. From my headphones a voice rang out. It was my manager telling me to help Richard to his car. Him being the last fry of the day I didn’t have much in the way of excuses and told him okay. Richard was still where he was looking at the index car when he noticed my approaching. I motioned towards the door and started walking. \n\nThe walk was silent save for a few questions, there were always questions from them. While in the elevator going to his car he could no longer near the silence and asked me a question.\n\n“Should I have erased my memory?”\n\nI stayed silent and we continued walking to his car. His red Maserati was parked separate from the others, he was an important client after all. When I stopped he looked at me as if I was wrong about this being his car, then a few moments later took his keys and unlocked the door. After a couple moments of feeling his steering wheel he felt confident enough and started the engine. As the car pulled out and turned around my body and his face meant mine he stopped and asked his question again.\n\n“Should I have erased my memory?”\n\nThis time I leaned in close, close enough that our face were inches apart and he saw my skin contort as I talked.\n\n“You don’t deserve to have it all just be forgotten.” I sneered “You should have to live with it.”\n\nHis eyes widened and his breathing tensed as he connected my words to something within him. Something he could never atone for yet continuously indulged in. With a quick turn and a light push on the gas Richard was out of my reach and past the cement pillars on the way out. I stood there for a moment before my microphone whirred again to life and I was ordered back to the frying station. Another Richard required a world to forgotten.", "Vegas was burning.\n\nI stood just outside the city limits, on a desert road, the \"Welcome to Vegas\" sign shining in the heat of the enormous fire. \n\nIn my hand I held a slim black rod. It had a red button on top, and some letters on the side, like they were printed by a label-maker. They read \"detonator.\"\n\nShocked, I dropped it in the desert sand. I looked at my hands, then at the burning city before me. Three helicopters buzzed around it like black flies around a fire. Coming towards me, a dust cloud approached, growing larger and larger. I saw that in the dust, a squadron of police cars burned through the desert sirens blaring. \n\n\"No,\" I said, slowly, realizing. \"No, I didn't\"\n\nThe police cars grew closer, and I backed up slowly. They got close enough that I could see one cop poke his head through the sun roof of the cop car, pistol drawn. He yelled a war-cry. \"I'll kill you! I'll kill you for what you did, you--\" Bullets whizzed past me, clinking off rocks. \n\nThe cop car passed across the city limit, nearly destroying the sign, the others following.\n\nI saw the cop's face screw up. He looked at the gun in his hand, then the burning city in the background. He looked down the sunroof, at the driver, and then at me.\n\n\"How the fuck did I get here?\" he said.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] Your long-estranged father has established a cult of followers who worship him as a god. On the very day you are notified of his death, high priests of the cult contact you about assuming his mantle.	[ "Ted was tired. He had just wrapped up the 12th hour of his shift in the call center. He winced as he stepped outside. It was dark and frigid. The only saving grace was that this was his third consecutive work day with an extended schedule. He now had four days to himself to recover from an excessive amount of interpersonal interaction. \n\nHe turned off his radio as he drove home. He was listening carefully to the mishaps of his flawed transmission. Hoping against all hope that the sounds were lessening and that the transmission was somehow miraculously healing itself. No such luck. He knew the time was drawing near when he would have to put the $1,200 on his credit card or else take on a new car payment. Neither seemed possible given his current situation. He arrived at his apartment complex only a few minutes later. It was a simple little place, a two bedroom row house in a former factory town. \n\nWalking inside he flipped on the lights for his living room only to see 5 people sitting on his couch, loveseat and the carpet. Ted jumped back in a panic.\n\n\"W..w..what the fuck...\" he croaked, awkwardly crawling at the wall. One of the men, a man in his 50's with a graying full beard and a ponytail, stood up gesturing for him to calm down.\n\n\"I'm sorry to scare you. We mean you no harm...\" he said calmly. Ted was still inching toward the door trying to give himself room for a swift egress.\n\n\"Who the fuck are you people and why are you in my house?\"\n\n\"I am Frater Paul. I am the Archdeacon of the Fellowship.\"\n\n\"Fuck\" thought Ted. \"This is going to be some Manson shit.\"\n\n\"What do you want?\" Ted asked nervously.\n\nFrater Paul clasped his hands piously. \"Theodore, we are here because your father, our leader, has passed. We come to you that you might claim your rightful place as our divine leader.\"\n\n\"My...father?\" Ted allowed his grip on the doorknob to relax. \"I haven't seen my father since I was 8 years old.\"\n\nFrater Paul nodded. He was wearing a loose fitting white linen shirt and a wooden pendant, of a rather peculiar design, hanging from a leather lanyard. \"I know. I know. Your father left you and your mother, Julia, and he started this movement; the fellowship. He has been our leader for these twenty years. In his final days he designated you as his successor.\"\n\n\"Is this some kind of joke? I mean, what, my father has some sort of cult or church or something?\"\n\nFrater Paul smiled. \"What is a cult? To the Baptist is not the Catholic Church a cult? We are a religious order dedicated to peace and justice.\" Ted didn't respond. He looked out over the room to examine the faces of those who had gathered. Besides Frater Paul there were four others, three women and another man. All of them were in their 50's, it seemed, though one of the women looked much older. \n\n\"Is this the whole fellowship?\" Ted asked as he tentatively stepped into the living room. Somewhat convinced that they were about to attack him as soon as he let go of the wall. \n\n\"No, not everyone. Maybe it would help if we went around the room? As I said, I am Frater Paul, the Archdeacon. I oversee the fellowship's finances and our physical home. I also serve as your faithful assistant, leading when you are unable to.\" Paul said as he gestured to the other man. \n\n\"Greetings, my Lord\" he said, standing and offering a slight bow at the waist. \"I am Frater Stephen. I am the First Acolyte. I oversee the training of our new members as well as ongoing spiritual development.\"\n\nThe first woman, appearing to be the youngest of the three, stood and bowed. \"My Lord, I am Soror Evelyn. I am the House Mistress. I oversee the cooking and cleaning for our fellowship's spaces. I am accountable to Frater Paul.\" \n\nThe second woman rose and bowed. \"My Lord, I am Soror Deborah, I am the Fellowship's Head Muse. I am a creator and an artist and I oversee our art program. We sell postcards, paintings, framed photos and similar items to support our cause.\" \n\nThe oldest of the woman then rose, bowing and smiling. Standing closer he could see that she was probably closer to 70, the approximate age of his wayward father. \"My Lord, I am Mater Sondra. I was your father's first companion.\"\n\n\"Companion? So...you were his wife after he left my mother?\"\n\nSondra nodded slightly. \"I was. I now stand betrothed to you.\"\n\nTed looked around. Was this all some sort of prank? A few minutes ago he was contemplating ordering a pizza, having a goodnight tug and waking up to go grocery shopping in the morning. Now he was being appointed head of a cult and was expected to marry a woman who was 50 years older than him?\n\nSondra smiled and laughed a bit. \"I realize how strange this must seem. We would be joined together in ritual only. My role is to serve as your guide and advisor. Our expectation is that, in time, you would choose your own first companion.\"\n\nTed walked to a living room chair. The people all scattered to make room for him. Sitting down they all knelt around him, Sondra gently resting her hands on his left hand and Evelyn laying hers on his right. \n\nTed sat silently for a few minutes trying to absorb what was happening. Frater Paul then spoke \"You are tired, Theodore, I know. And this is much to take in. Go, sleep. Tomorrow we will leave for our home, a place we call Edenia, and we shall celebrate your coronation.\" Ted sat still for a moment but the two women holding his hands rose and gently pulling him upward. They led him to his bedroom and he came to realize that they intended to join him for the night. Ted thought of protesting. He considered telling them he wanted to spend the night alone. Then again, Ted had gone nearly a year without getting laid and this, as strange as it was, didn't seem half bad. As they entered his bedroom Ted briefly thought of his transmission and his terrible job. Though, the moment the door closed, he realized that his life had just changed and he likely shouldn't worry about those things any more.", "\"I am honoured \" was my first response. It just kind of slipped out.\n\nThe next bit kind of slipped out as well immediately afterwards: \"Secure the largest container ship you can find and send an agent to establish contact with the North Korean military in order to establish a supply channel for small arms. The revolution will begin soon\".\n\nThat was ten years ago. Given the current turn of events I had to admit that I was now having my doubts, but there was no way I could go back. No way. Nor could I tell anyone, lest it shake their faith in our holy mission.\n\n. . .\n\n\"Where is the American carrier? I need eyes on that f*ing carrier!\" I yell. Great waves lash across the bow as debris form a nearby explosion rains down across the deck. Six Apache helicopters had attacked us at once, but it turns out the Chinese CIWS was really a worthwhile investment. I think there are a couple of F-16s in the air, the weather is really screwing with the radar and one hit from them will probably finish us.\n\n\"We have nothing yet, your excellency\". answers Bishop Andrews - who was now also chief intelligence officer of the Floating Piracy Kings. I renamed fathers cult from \"Order of the Holy Light\" after taking command, because my name seemed somehow cooler. The bridge had a series of large windows at the front, and Andrews sat to my right. Behind us - another series of large windows, lined with a few admin staff monitoring various screens, processing information from what little intelligence gathering assets we had.\n\nWe had spotted the carrier headed for our primary oilfield in the Pacific - an area consisting of five deep sea platforms in relatively close proximity to one another. The yanks had thought it necessary to both object to the UN at \"stateless pirates\" having their own oilfield, and then freeze our accounts in the US. When that didn't work, they actually sent a carrier strike group to seize the platforms.\n\nMostly we got this far because they just weren't ready for it. I mean, come on - who expects pirates to have stealth naval mines? They did avoid most of them but it really screwed with their formation. That was the upside. The downside is that last I heard, three of our platforms were burning at sea. I had left orders for suicide runs to be made in small speedboats against enemy ships and to seize whatever assets could be seized, but I hadn't heard anything back yet. I was now trying to get us close enough to the carrier through the confusion of the storm to be able to use one of our cheap Ukrainian cruise missiles, but that required knowing where it was.\n\nThe ship pitched and rolled in the storm - wind and rain howling and tearing at the superstructure. There were a large number of ad-hoc weapons attached to the deck - radars, guns, turrets, missile launchers - some bought, some stolen, some salvaged from junkyards. The holds had been converted into armouries and reinforced to support the various random deck weapons. It was a big ship, and rolling from one side to another it felt like the entire Earth was moving. At least the weather was in our favour - no sane person would have wished for a cyclone, but it came on quickly and the stronger force had a lot more to lose in the confusion. At least I think they did, I remember reading in Jane's that their targeting radar could see miles through rain but I was hoping that was an optimistic sales pitch by Northrop rather than a real-world scenario.\n\n\"Drone 21 has the carrier. I can see it!\" a kid's voice yelled in excitement from the desks behind me. I couldn't remember the kids' names, they changed so frequently - they just had to be good at flying drones. I guess the DJI Phantom 12 had also turned out to be a worthwhile investment. With a firmware update it did nearly everything the US drones did, and at around 1% of the price. But frankly, I was a bit surprised that they hadn't found us first.\n\nA high pitched buzzer sounded for a few seconds. Andrews pressed a button on his console, silencing the buzzer, and squinted at a screen. \"Um. I think there is an incoming cruise missile, but it's hard to tell. There is a lot of noise\".\n\n\"Ah, there we go\" I thought to myself as I panicked even more and tried to avoid peeing down my leg. Our CIWS wasn't going to pick off a cruise missile, so I made the executive decision.\n\n\"Ignore it\" I ordered \"Just shoot the carrier!\"\n\nWe had conducted hundreds of mock firing drills to prepare for this moment, and I had settled on a strategy. It was a bold strategy, some might say stupid, but in place of an actual strategy it was the best we had: Fire everything at once. The crew had trained on every weapon and every weapon had an assigned crew, so at this point hopefully they could each just do their thing at a moment's notice.\n\nThe weapons on the front deck fired more or less in unison, give or take a few seconds. Range finding in the storm was going to be difficult but we hoped that we had configured some of them properly to be guided from the drone. The ship vibrated with every shot, and as I watched the mesmerising pattern of flashes, a great fireball exploded out of the front deck sending people, guns, and deck plating flying into the air.\n\n\"Oh right, the cruise missile\" I thought to myself, as the windows in front of me shattered and I was thrown to the ground. As the rain poured in through the bridge, the bow of the ship pointed briefly upwards - sending everything sliding towards the aft of the bridge as a great metallic groaning vibration echoed through the ship's structure. Moments later it seemed to crash downwards, throwing everything towards the bow - or to where the bow was a few moments previously.\n\nAs I hauled myself upright, I looked around me. There were a lot of bodies - two of the kids from the drone desks were screaming and staring at their bloodied stumps where there hands were. Andrews - well, I think I see was his arm where the chair was but I'm not sure where the rest of him is. I can barely stand again - the whole ship is tilting forwards now, and as I look forward out of the window holes I can see a great wall of water looming high in front of me. Crashing and groaning sounds shake the floor, and all across the water there are bodies and fire.\n\nThe remains of the front deck are burning, and the juxtaposition of the fire against the backdrop of rain and ocean is quite beautiful and eerily peaceful. I brace myself against the remains of the window as I find myself standing in an increasingly horizontal position, and I hear another hysterical scream behind me before I see someone fall kicking and screaming through the window hole and into the twisted metal of the front deck. Another is dangling on to the outside of the frame - I consider helping them in, but what would be the point.\n\nNow completely horizontal, I am lying across one of the window supports and I stare into the water, both arms open as if to welcome a dear friend. The rain falls through the bridge soaking my body through and through, and fire spreads out across the water in front of me as it rushes closer and closer. I keep my eyes wide open, and all at once the glorious embrace of the cold ocean washes me free of the ship - as if punched by a giant, I take a deep breath of water. It's cold, and painful. I didn't know it would be painful. I feel myself sinking. The rain is gone now, replaced by a cold and crushing grip of the ocean - eddies and waves from the disintegrating ship buffet and toss me around as some primordial instinct within me fights to remain conscious.\nIt's pointless. I wonder if we hit the carrier. I wonder what happens now.\n\n. . .\n\nSomewhere in Cardiff, Bill - a student in engineering who was raised by a single mother, is reading the national newspaper. The headline is a bit more dramatic than usual: \"US Strike group destroyed by pirates, China's Xi Jinping hospitalised from laughing\"\n\nThere is a knock at the door. It's a stranger, wearing a skull emblem on their lapel and carrying a small book.\n\n\"Greetings, your Excellency. My name is Bishop Henry. I bring you news about your father, who has sadly at this time passed away at sea. You are his sole heir\"\n\nBill, ever curious to know if he might get some free weed out of a weirdo, invites him in. As he enters the room, Bishop Henry opens the book. He looks at the list of new assets - a nuclear submarine amongst them - and decides to start slowly.\n\n\"How do you feel about boats?\"", "\"So they just follow you around all day?\" Clara, my roommate and best friend since High School, asked with mild amusement as she unpacked from her trip to Greece. \n\n\"Literally 24/7 for the past week. Just sit outside of my job or follow me in a car. You know how the Masons moved out beneath us Tuesday? They moved in.\" I complained, tossing down the PS4 controller as I rubbed my temples and sighed.\n\n\"They're not dangerous?\" Clara questioned. \n\n\"Naw, they fucking love me. Want me to take over some cult for the deadbeat that knocked up my mom.\" I explained. \"It's like I'm a god to these guys.\"\n\n\"Doesn't sound that bad, wish I had a cult.\" Clara joked, glancing out the blind s on our window to look at the two fully cloaked figures standing outside and staring at our apartment in the blazing summer heat.\n\n\"Yeah, but it's not my* cult. It's some secondhand cult from the asshole that never called my mom back.\" I complained. \"That's like inhereting unwashed clothes from your creepy uncle who's not allowed near schools.\"\n\n\"Yeah, but think of all the hot cult sluts. Everybody wants to do a god.\" Clara laughed, taking this situation as seriously as I should have expected. \n\n\"Yeah, because my dream harem is made of women defiled by my estranged father.\" I countered, only pausing slightly at the thought of having a harem.\n\nClara nearly choked on her glass of tea as she busted out laughing at the thought of me with a harem. Tossing the luggage she didn't want to deal with into her room, she sprawled out on the carpet between the couch I was sitting on and the tv. Positioning herself directly beneath the ceiling fan in it's glorious cooling glory. Sipping tea through a bent straw as she stared at the fan.\n\n\"So you turned them down?\" Clara asked.\n\n\"Yeah, but they won't leave. Apparently the death of their leader caused some turmoil. If they can't get me to step in, some up and comer is threatening to take over.\" I explained, sitting back to stare up at the ceiling as well. \"Good for him. He can have the damn cult.\"\n\n\"You really don't care?\" Clara questioned. \n\n\"Not one bit.\" I replied. \"Happy enough with what I've g-\" I started to say as a fully robed figure the size of a gorilla crashed in through my front door. Startled, I jolted my head forward.\n\nClara was crouched in front of me, knife in hand, and looked as though she had been readying herself to stab me in the throat. Once I made eye contact with her, she froze for only a moment before glancing at the massive man on the floor in the wreckage of our door, then back at me. With a growl she lunged for the kill.\n\nI only barely managed to slide to the side fast enough to avoid the kitchen knife as it pierced the fabric of the couch. Pushing her away, she stumbled back and fell into the wall as I shot to my feet and tried to rationalize my situation.\n\nAs the lumbering giant that crashed in through my door rose to his feet, two more hooded figures charged in from behind him with shotguns that had silencers on the barrels. Both opened fire on Clara as I dove towards the kitchen for cover. \n\nClara, deceptively more agile than I remember, darted for her room and threw the door shut behind her. I heard the window in her room break as the hooded giant rushed her door and broke it down as well. The other two hoods filed in after him, only for one to rush back out and take up a position at my broken down door.\n\nThe other good, followed by the massive fellow, walked back into the main room and approached me as I sat on the floor behind the kitchen counter.\n\n\"Sorry about... that.\" Said the smaller of the two as he waved his arm about in the direction of my wrecked apartment. \"We didn't realize Killjoy had been planning this coupe for so long. Your friend was an- er, unexpected variable. To say the least.\"\n\n\"She tried to kill me.\" I stuttered, incapable of processing the events.\n\n\"Yes, she did.\" He agreed. \"That wasn't your friend though.\" \n\n\"What?\" I shot back.\n\n\"Your friend was found dead in Greece last night, only managed to identify her corpse by a stroke of luck.\" He explained as a sickening feeling rose up in my stomach. \"She'd been tortured for days then disposed of. That woman was simply the result of, how do you say, Hollywood magic?\"\n\nConfused, sickened, and suddenly on the verge of crying I believed everything he said. Realizing something about Clara seemed slightly off, but having chalked it up to just something to do with her trip. Suddenly all of the little differences fit into place like the pieces of some shitty puzzle.\n\n\"So...\" The hooded man started after a long, silent, depressing pause. \"We really need you to man up and be our god now.\"" ]	3
	[WP] Humanity encounters a race of aliens who call themselves humans.	[ "This couldn't be possible. We were distinctly different; humans couldn't live in the conditions that we were in. Lava flows descended from their fountains and had their children frolicking about in them, their emissary was dependent on breathing tubes that connected directly to his lungs, and everyone seemed to have bright eyes of different colours as opposed to irises and pupils. They were vaguely human shaped, and that was where the similarities stopped. I attempted contact with HQ through my comlink, but nothing worked.\n\nMere biological differences couldn't stop us, though. We had to get to the bottom of this mystery. Why did they call themselves humans? Did they resemble us enough to deserve that? We were humans too, last I checked. Ah well. We always had to go to the wrong places before finding the right ones.\n\nWe have transcended beyond most of what you'd call human traits. We may be aliens to you, but we call ourselves humans. The emissary's thoughts mixed with mine, hopefully not pilfering my own in the process- You need not worry. We are cognisant of your cultural biases and shall refrain from Neural-Networking. Ironic.\n\nYou have travelled long. You need rest, though we do not. Come to our leader's residence. The emissary phased through entire blocks with me in hand, until we reached a pristine white hall with a single desk and chair in the middle, and a woman dressed similarly sitting at it. Her hair neatly in a bun, in a simple white robe, she smiled at me understandingly - more than understandingly. Instantly I felt as if I were being glanced upon by a goddess; I couldn't understand this sensation and knew it was beyond explanation.\n\nWelcome, human. We also use that name; what a coincidence. It seems our species are... related. We would like to have you undergo a biological test to ascertain your similarity. Before that, you have 24... what's the word... hours. Yes. 24 hours to rest and relax. Help yourself to our museum, perhaps; that's our largest attraction.\n\nAs I strolled through the red halls of the museum, I saw many of their culture's brightest moments forever immortalised. First contact, intergalactic trade, intergalactic war, an alliance to remove a black hole from their system, all very impressive. They made my ship seem like it was merely the start of the journey into the cosmos. Speaking of which... I'd better get back to it soon. Foolish of me to have left it in their Main Street.\n\nI was on the verge of rushing there when Where do you think you're going? You haven't even taken your test yet. You can be one of us, you know. Don't resist it. The lady in white stood behind me, giving me that smile that stared deep into my mind. Don't superciliously assume you are different from us. In fact, we can begin the procedure now, seeing as you're so... bored.\n\nThe whiteness of her aura radiated fully through my soul, and that was the last I remembered.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\"Milady, has the threat been neutralised?\"\n\nIt was no threat. You may stand down, Captain. He was merely a lost sheep. An unaltered human.\n\n\"But milady, such a pure specimen could do well for experimentation with the scientists-\"\n\nThe scientists have discovered everything there is to know about the human body and psyche, Captain. Extra knowledge causes dissent. We don't want that. We prefer a more... friendly approach.\n\n\"One last question, if I may? How did an unaltered human get here? Earth has been entirely terraformed into the Chromite we see everywhere.\"\n\nI know not this, and it matters not. Humans always look in the wrong places before finding the right one, that is the way we evolved. It just so happens that that little fellow had always been finding the wrong places, up to and including his desire to return to 2017.\n\nNow, let's prepare for New Year's Day 5017. You may return to your security arrangements, Captain." ]	1
	[WP] Abducted by aliens, they have decided to bring you to their homeworld. And even though they are traveling faster than the speed of light, it is still a long journey and tensions are running high just halfway there...	[ "No matter if it's the product of a decision you consciously made, your body's primal innate fear is deep, wrenching, and unavoidable. The machine had worked. My machine had worked. T A K E M E W I T H Y O U. I A M W A I T I N G. I'd transcended my planet of origin, and all it took was a simple understanding of morse code. The pride, the excitement, all of it, was swallowed wholly by the fear I felt. My stomach churned and boiled inside my abdomen as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing. The color of nothing is not black. It's the color of fear, of consumption. If I reached out and touched the nothing, each atom would be ripped from me and flung apart, in an instant the being that was fostering the unimaginable fear I felt would be reduced to minuscule quarks doomed to be built back up into the stars they came from long before their time. Where was I? Where was I going? What was I looking at? I was being consumed. My whole body, starting at my toes, was being bombarded from the inside with pins and needles, poking, prodding, harder and harder. The fear wasn't in the journey, nor the destination. It was in the realization I'd been shielded from my whole life.\nI was but a fraction of the nothing I'd been fearing." ]	1
	[WP] “I don’t need your help anymore.”	[ "\"First message, Tuesday, February 7th, 2017.\"\n\n\"Darlene, why aren't you answering my texts? I know your getting them because I can obviously see them opened. If you could be an adult and just talk to me, that would be great. You think I'm cheating because I have a girl thats a friend and she visits with me? Your probably drunk right now, hanging out with your friends. You told me when I needed to talk, you'd be there. You said you where going to come back to us, but I haven't seen you in about a week. When I post one message about someone becoming my friend on a bad night, you get upset and suddenly start messaging me again? Alright. Well, whenever you're an adult about this, call me.\"\n\n\"End of message.\"\n\n\"Second message, Friday, March 17th, 2017.\"\n\nPhone falls on the ground, grabbing and fumbling can be heard.\n\n\"Well... I fucking haven't heard from you in a month. So much for 'I was occupying myself until you came back', HA! Drinking and gulping* This sucks, I've never felt like this... this fucking shitty about something. I'm... Drunk. Well, fuck. Have you ever felt something, like, that hurts on your body, but, it's inside? It's an achy feeling, and I fucking hate it. I hate you. I wish you would grow the hell up and say that back to me, at least then I'll know something from you. How you fucking feel, or want, or fucking something. God damn it, what am I saying... Shit, how do I delete this message and ma...\"\n\n\"End of message.\"\n\n\"Final message, Sunday, October 29th, 2017.\" \n\n\"Hey, how are things going? I am feeling a little lonely tonight, and just thought of you. I haven't been too pathetic for a while, so I thought I would leave a message.. after, six or seven months. Laughs nervously, then silence for a few seconds I just wanted to say, you really broke me and I wished it could have been something more. I was hoping you'd message me after all this time, but I take it I was the furthest thing from your mind. I always told you to make the first move, but even now I'm still the one acting and getting hurt... So, this is good bye, for my own sanity. Take care, Darlene.\"\n\n\"End of message\"\n\nShe sits on her bed looking at her feet, her phone plays the final message and she just stares at the screen for a moment, then clicks 'end call'. She grabs her phone and lays down on her bed. She contemplates her next move and finally, 'search: Luther'. His name pops up, opens up his contact tab, and stares at either sending a message or calling.\n\nCall, it rings for a moment, and goes directly to voicemail.\n\n\"The number you are calling isn't accepting calls at the moment, please leave a message after this,\" the automated voice stops.\n\n\"Hey, you've reached Luther, I'm not available right now or might be at work. So, you know what to do.\"\n\nIt's silent for a few seconds, long enough for Darlene to look at her phone and see the timer still counting.\n\n\"..If this is Darlene, I don't need your help anymore, never did. I wasn't looking for someone to save me, just for someone to share my life with.\" Beep.\n\nShe lays with her phone in hand and picks it up to see the timer still counting. She can't decide if she should leave a message or hang up. She manages an, \"I'm sorry\", and presses the 'end call'. " ]	1
	[WP] It's day 7 of the apocalypse, you've just broken your glasses.	[ "The day had been a blur to say in the least. \n\nGuess that what happens when you let one of your senses go out in the middle of the apocalypse. As I was quickly able to discern, my ability to see was absolutely imperative to my survival. Glad I was able to bump into that particular fact. Additionally, I can't even say that it was the apocalypse had caused my glasses to break, just my own clumsiness coming into play. Magical, neither glass or glasses like being dropped, certainly one for the books. Now in addition to my own stupidity I had something else to deal with. I could hear soft groans off in the distance, and they were coming toward me. \n\nAs I grabbed the nearest elevated surface to prop myself up, I thought about the possible actions I could take. I could still hear, so I guess I could try to avoid my zombie friends by walking in the opposite direction of the groans. Although I wouldn't be able to see where I was going, and it's not like I would be able to hear food. Although if it were fresh enough, or I guess rotten enough, I would be able to smell food. Guess I could try to smell myself away from the zombies too, but their scent was pretty much everywhere at this point. If humans were considered messy, these varmits were somehow even worse. Not only did they spend the entire day walking around groaning about indiscernible things, they also didn't have access to showers. So at this point, the normal meat sacks were rotting flesh sacks. \n\nTasty\n\nGuess I actually could try to get the jump on the zombies. Try to bite them first before they got to me. Heh, they wouldn't see it coming. \n\n...Although I guess at this point I wouldn't see it coming either. \n\nAnd that brought up two additional problems. One, that they were again rotting pieces of flesh, so doing a zombie to a zombie would probably get me infected. Not entirely sure, never got around to watching many zombie movies. Two, they tended to move around in hoardes, so biting one wouldn't exactly take care of the entire hoarde. Although I had to smile a bit at the thought of a bite with a large area of effect. Had to think about that one later. \n\nAnd problem #3. The groans were walking past my door. Guess these zombies didn't lumber quite as slowly as the zombies that I knew about. I guess I didn't have any time to escape at this point. Guess I wasn't going to be one of the people that was able to survive the zombie apocalypse. I heard the groans become louder as the hoarde approached my abode. This was it...\n\nThat was it. They...were going away? I heard the groans become softer as the hoarde decided to walk away. They hadn't even noticed me. Not sure if I felt relieved or offended. On one hand, I was still alive. On the other hand, here I was, a plump juicy brain ripe for the taking. Was I not good enough to be eaten? Guess they didn't think I had enough of a brain to break the door down. \n\n...smart asses. Although those smart asses were probably still smarter than the dumbass that broke his glasses. Guess now that I wasn't dead I should come up with a solution to that, and have a little bit better foresight for next time. ", "\"Stand there and wait for my instructions!\" The captain yelled at you from the catwalk above. She was dressed in standard Army fatigues that displayed her rank and name, one sleeve was ripped and tattered and the arm strapped across her chest in a makeshift sling. \"The timing of the switches has to be exact to reverse the process! I'll radio back when I'm in position!\"\n\nYou adjust your glasses back up onto your nose, One of the nosepads missing from the fourth or fifth roll of the van as it rolled down the mountainside yesterday. \n\nYou lean over the massive control panel in front of you. Blinking lights, backlit toggles, and myriad of buttons were arrayed in a jumbled mess across the 10 foot long panel. Tiny labels identified each switch. \nmaster control valve next to a large green button. \nfrequency adjustment below a toggle. \ndark matter fuel cutoff over a flashing red light\nYou adjust your glasses back up your nose looking over the labels.\n\nThe radio in your hands crackles to life. \"I'm in position! We have to activate the device servos in an exact order for this to work. The tectonic collapse is imminent if we can't reverse the machine.\" \n\nA small vibration thrummed through the floor of the underground bunker. Nearby, a forty foot tall machine hummed to life and you feel a strange tugging sensation in your stomach. You adjust your glasses back up your nose.\n\n\"Alright, I'm going to cancel the doomsday directive, when I do, you need to flip the flow generators A and C to off, and push the Frequency modulator to 40%\" \n\nA piece of ceiling tile crashes to the floor behind you and you jump and whip your head around. Your glasses fly off of your head and shatter on the floor. The world shifts into a blurry facsimile of itself.\n\n\"Alright, it's up to you to save the world! Find the emergency generator cutoff toggle and get ready to flip it to the off position. On my mark. Three...two...one....\"", "Even though the fuzz of everything overcame me, just like whenever I went to bed, woke up, showered, swam, or wrestled, i could still see large round stars on the ground. Those stars were the glistening shards of my glasses, the one thing I swore I needed to survive in this new hell. I looked up, seeing the sun was still blindingly red. I remembered before my glasses, when I looked at the grand provider at sunset, the star had grown massive in the past ten days. The first day, no one noticed, but scientists were stunned to see the size just balloon. Supposedly it now increased to at least 5 million miles in diameter, but that was before everyone cared.\n\nTechnically, everyone cared, but not about the sun. No, they cared about themselves. And as for me, I should have seized the chance to grab a pair of new glasses after the second day, when civil unrest started to grow. Why were people protesting outside? Did it make a difference? What did they think the governments were going to do? It never helped the articles spread detailing specific information about how the governments saw it coming, and already had astronauts launched outside the Solar System.\n\nWhat did it matter for me? My eyesight was so bad, I couldn't have contacts, not that I'd be able to find those now. I was too young for laser surgery as well. Shoulda booked an appointment. Shoulda woulda coulda, I repeated in my mind. Should have gotten glasses, should have gotten surgery, should have gotten someone to help me out. No, everyone cared for themselves at the last minute. The ones that did care, they braced for themselves with family.\n\nWould I have been able to find a new pair of glasses in the window of time the world went to Hell? Probably not. I chuckled. Everyone would be looting the grocery stores, the pharmacies, the gun shops. I would just have wanted a new damn pair of glasses.\n\nI closed my eyes and started dreaming in the refreshing warmth of the new sun. The crashing waves of the distant ocean sounded different. They sounded a little bit warmer. Ten degrees?\n Twenty? Warmed up by a new sun.Once a provider, all it had to do is act up a little, and the whole world went bonkers. What about the other worlds, Venus, Mercury, Saturn. How are they different?\n\nFact is they weren't. Nothing is different about them. So maybe, humans did make a difference. We saw our own demise. I walked to the edge of the high flat-top skyscraper I was one, and slowly sat down. My legs were hanging over the edge of a few hundred foot drop. At this height, anyone without binoculars would be able to see me over the edge. I'm normally afraid of heights, but then again, why fear something I cannot see.\n\nLike I said, could I have found other pairs of glasses with maybe a close prescription to mine. Maybe. Would I want to have seen the world end? Would I have wished it was a differrent apocalypse I was in? Probably not. What a funny question: Do I want a different apocalypse?", "\"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!\" \n\n\"Dude, you're so screwed! If you can't keep up I'm going to have to go on without you. I'm sorry.\" \n\n\"No I'm fine, my vision isn't even that bad. I only had these so I could drive better at night.\" It was a lie. Mark's vision was so bad his optometrist had stated that he was borderline \"legally blind\" without his glasses. \n\n\"Oh ok good! Well before we get back on the road, lets clear that last house and check for more supplies.\" \n\nIt has been seven days since the first outbreak. At first everyone thought it was a hoax. The local news was reporting that there was some type of highly contagious \"infection\" that had broken out in Florida. The infection was spreading quickly and killing thousands by the day. It was also reported that as soon an infected person passed away, they immediately would wake up DEAD. \n\nMark was working when he first encountered a \"Runner.\" He was a mail man and every morning he would stop on his route in the Best Buy parking lot to eat his breakfast. As he was sitting in his truck he noticed someone naked and appeared to be covered in blood run past his truck at an extremely past pace, like Olympic sprinting speed. This guy definitely didn't look like he could run a sub ten second 100 yard sprint because he was grossly overweight. Mark watch the man run towards the Best Buy. He ran so quickly up to the doors that they didn't have time to open and he smacked right into them. He fell to the ground as the glass shattered everywhere. He immediately jumped to his feet and sprinted into the store and out of Marks view. Mark grabbed his phone and dialed 911 to report what he just witnessed, but no one answered. He called back again and nothing. \n\nIt wasn't even 2 minutes later that an entire group of them came running out the store. Some were men and women and Mark noticed that there was even a child and a couple of employees with Best Buy shirts on. They were all covered in blood and sprinting just like the man Mark had seen run in the store. Mark threw down his bagel and started his truck. As soon as the truck's engine turned over and the sound echoed across the parking lot, every single \"person\" that had just exited the store turned their heads and stared at the USPS truck. Their eyes were glowing red and their mouths oozing blood. They all started running in the direction of Mark. He took off from his usual parking spot at the back of the lot and floored the pedal. He tried to avoid them, but they smacked right into the side of his truck. As he sped out the parking lot he thought he just killed everyone he hit, but as he was looking in his side mirror he noticed that everyone were now on their feet and sprinting towards him.\n\n\"Hello? Mark, whats wrong buddy? Lets get out of the road before were seen by a Runner. You know those jokers are fast as hell and we will never be able to outrun one.\"\n\n\"Sorry, I was just upset about my glasses. Lets check the last house.\" Mark wasn't just upset, he was devastated. He knew he was screwed and it wouldn't be much longer until he was turned into one of those things. He wondered if he turned into a Runner, would he be able to see or would he be a \"almost legally blind\" Runner. When Carl took off towards the house, Mark was only able to follow him because Carl was wearing a bright orange sweater, probably not the best choice of color in a apocalypse. Mark had a 12-gauge Browning shotgun and Carl was carrying two Glock .40 cal pistols.\n\nWhen they made it to the door and found that it was unlocked, Carl opened the door and told Mark, \"Be quiet, I'll check upstairs. You check the downstairs. Just like before.\" \"No problem.\" This had been their strategy on the last 9 houses that they cleared and scavenged. Except there was one problem, Mark didn't have his glasses. As they entered the threshold of the front door, Mark saw the image of Carl's orange sweatshirt ascend the stairs and disappear into what he guessed was a bedroom. Mark immediately found a corner downstairs and placed his back to it. He tried to slow his breathing so he could hear Carl moving through the house upstairs. He knew if he told Carl he couldn't pull his weight, he'd leave him to fend for himself. All of sudden he heard four loud gunshots from upstairs. The sounds scared him so badly, that he fired off one of his own rounds and his ears immediately started ringing. Mark was panicking because now he couldn't see or hear. Then just out the corner of his eye he saw a dark image running down the stairs and turn towards his direction. He didn't see any orange so he closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. He felt a warm body crash into his....\n\n...Mark jumped and sat up in his bed. He was covered in sweat and was breathing really hard, almost panting. He felt for his bedside table and found his glasses and placed them on his head and turned on the light. He noticed that the television was on and a show of the Walking Dead was playing. He found the remote and turned the television off, removed his glasses, and turned the light back off. \n\n_______________________________________________\n\nSorry if this wasn't all that great. This is my second attempt at a story. Just trying to get a little better. " ]	4
	[WP] Driverless car companies employ ghosts as drivers	[ "\"Oh Lenny!\" screamed Earl as he began to search and move further into the insane asylum. He turned back and uttered to Churchill \"This gig is really starting to piss me off! I'm supposed to be the head of recruiting! None of this was ever mentioned in my interview and why is this guy even here?!\" \n\nChurchill sighs and pushes Earl to keep moving, \"This is all a part of the new strategic plan the higher ups are putting together. How else are we supposed to compete with all of the new ride share companies? Cheap morally compromised human labor? Artificial \"intelligence\" that can't even keep a clean driving record or a good conversation? We need something new and fresh. Something to revitalize our product\"\n\nThey both continue in a dimly lit cafeteria listening closely for any foreign and eerie sounds. \"Teddy we just want to talk. We understand that you used to do some work here and could use a new job. We offer post humus employment benefits and open haunting...\" The chairs in the room starting levitating and one by one slamming into the walls of the room. Earl sprang back nervously as this was a part of the job he still couldn't get used to. \n\nChurchill used this time to light a cigar and take out the box he had been carrying. \"Can you get on with it already Earl??\" Earl began to mumble some words to himself and then the room lit up a bright green. A massive entity showed itself and began to scream in both of their faces. \"Why would you think you can wake me from my slumber? I am the one whom haunts this place, not you. You shall die for actions.\"\n\nChurchill opened up the box and Earl began to recite his words, \"Okay sir I understand you are upset and rightfully so but tell us this, do you enjoy your afterlife? Do you enjoy the haunting experience? Wouldn't you love if you could take that feeling of scaring the britches off some poor lad wandering into your newly claimed asylum and pair that with a meaningful career of driving around even poorer lads for less compensation? Well we have an offer for you, Buuuber, an industry leader in ghostly transportation is looking to hire a spirit just like you. We offer top of the line.. anddd it happened again. He spewed slime on Earl as if to show his disgust with the humans. Earl interjected, \"Are you kidding me? We come all this way just to interview YOU and this is how we are repayed? You premadonna, I can't believe the nerve, I'll make sure to mention this in your referral!\" Churchill again sighs and opens the box to hand to the entity, \"So again, if you look closely you will see all of the information and benefits we are offering.\" \n\nAs the ghastly creature quizzicly stared down into the box, he was sucked in and a small light turned on. Churchill continued, \"please see line 5 on the bottom of the box you were just pulled into. This states you will have 10 days of paid haunting time off per year. So glad you could join the Buuuber Family.\"\n\nAs they walked out with the box in hand, Earl whines to Churchill, \"Why do they always put us in charge of getting the grunts for this project? What was that guy's name again? Something Bundy? No idea how he ended up here but at least we got another one for the day. Not a chance I do this again.\" \n\nChurchill responds to his cries, \"Do you really want to complain about this again? If you want, I can set you up with another day trying to fire one of these guys? You remember how that went last time.\" \n\nHe lets out another deep sigh as Earl realizes his mistake. Earl starts the car up and begins to enter in the GPS, \"Okay so what's next? I heard ole honest Abe was haunting around.\" Churchill responds, \"After working with you on this project, I've got a feeling we should take a visit to your mother's gravesite for the next interview.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Every night our consciousnesses get transported to fight an eternal war for us, this other “us” makes sure we don’t remember, but your other you has decided to make you remember, because a horrible evil has somehow broken through to Earth.	[ "As usual, my sheets were soaked and wrapped around me like a straight jacket. My heart pounded, my head ached, my feet and hands were slowly relaxing back to normal, and my stiffness tingled against the sheets. I could still feel her touch. Ephemeral, ethereal, dominating. Each exhale brought lucidity to reality and took definition from my dreams. But, I could still feel her touch. And I heard her whisper in my ear. \"Wake up.\" \n \nI shot up in bed, aching from the sudden rush, blood tingling through my limbs and my tongue. I leapt out of bed and walked to the kitchen. It was too early for my automatic coffee maker. I started it, got my mug out and waited. The angles of ice frosting my window melted into a face. She was beautiful. She smiled, blew me a kiss, and dissipated. My heart and my throat squeezed tight. Bing! Coffee was ready. I shook my head. The first sip of coffee assured me I was insane. \n \nI guess that's how it works when you're used to caffeine. Not really awake until that hot black flows down you're throat. Not really alive. Once you take that first sip, the dreams are supposed to fade away. Why was she standing there, in the kitchen, staring at me? A gash was bleeding down her forearm, her dress and hair were whipping around blown about by a wind that I couldn't feel. And she held a sword that burned bright blue. It should have been melting the floor, the way the flames licked around it. It should have scalded her skin. \n \n\"This is your sword. Wield it.\" Her voice was like lavender gossamer. A symphony of bells. She threw the blade right at me. I screamed and tried to stop it with my hands, but it passed through them with ice and fire. It disappeared into me. \"What did you just do?\" \"It is your birthright. Do you claim it?\" \"Uh, yes?\" \"Then speak it.\" \"Huh?\" \"Speak the truth; you were made to speak it!\" \"What truth?\" She smiled. \"You'll see.\"" ]	1
	[WP] A wolf begins to suspect they are a were-human.	[ "I think I did something horrible last night.\n\nThe realization hit me when I woke up, curled into a fetal position and having incredible stomach pains. This wasn't normal. I trudged out of the communal cave and hacked a little; something was caught in my throat, and that little bit of movement seemed to help dislodge it. I went further away from the clan to finish and was disgusted by what finally forced its way out of me.\n\nI'd seen this before, I thought. A twinkie.", "\"Mom, I think there's something wrong with me,\" I say -- in quiet, shy yips.\n\n\"Quit your complaining,\" she howls. \"With you it's all complaining, day and night. Your nose isn't working, you have a bald spot on your fur, yadda yadda.\" She sits down in the snow and turns over her bone. \"You know, I've got my own problems -- that little bitch Kati is trying to seduce your father, so she can take my spot as alpha female --\"\n\n\"Mom! Ew!\"\n\nShe shrugs and goes back to her bone. \"Want some of this?\"\n\nA wave of nausea hits me. \"No. I'm going to take a walk.\" The sun has already set, and the snow is cold on my feet, but I continue to my favorite place: the pond. It's partially frozen over, with patches of translucent, thin ice; but beautiful all the same. I bend down to take a drink, when --\n\nI yelp, and jump back from my reflection.\n\nMy two front teeth.\n\nMy heart pounds in my chest. No, no, please no. I pull back my lips, and lean in closer.\n\nSure enough, two small, white, and square teeth poke out from my gums.\n\nNo.\n\n\"Hey! Tim!\"\n\nI turn around. Emily trots in, smiling. \"What's up, brother?\"\n\nI say through closed lips: \"Nothing. I was just leaving.\"\n\n\"What's wrong with your mouth?\"\n\n\"NOTHING!\"\n\nShe tackles me to the ground. \"No!\" I howl. She begins tickling me, and I open my mouth wide, yelping madly.\n\nShe screeches and jumps off of me. \"Your teeth -- they're hideous!\"\n\n\"I know. I -- I think I might be a wereman.\"\n\n\"What?!\"\n\n\"It all started a few weeks ago,\" I begin. \"On the night of the full moon. I saw this dead deer in the middle of the forest, and I was really hungry, so I ran over and started eating it.\"\n\n\"I would've done the same. Free food is free food, brother.\"\n\n\"A hunter jumped out of the forest. I guess he was the one who killed it. He smacked me with the gun, and then -- when I wouldn't go away -- he bit me.\"\n\n\"Oh my God. Humans are so dangerous.\"\n\n\"And I --\" I stop. A sharp pain shoots up my back, and I fall to the ground. \"Ow! Emily --\"\n\n\"Tim!\" she screams. \"It's a full moon tonight!\"\n\n\"Run!\" I howl. \"When it takes over, I'll be a human, and I could kill you --\" My voice trails off into a painful screech. The cracks of bones fill the air. I feel the chill on my bare skin, the clumsiness of two legs, the weight of an oversized head --\n\nAnd an insatiable hunger fills my head.\n\nI lick my lips, and run off into the forest, in search of what I crave...\n\nCheeseburgers. Fries. Coke.\n\n---\n\nr/CSDouglas" ]	2
	[WP] God decides to talk to you. Turns out he wants a independent opinion on something.	[ "\"You think it's time to send Jesus back?\"\n\nWe were sitting on a park bench in the middle of the night - just me and God. A woman in spandex jogged by, and I chased her with my eyes. God cleared his throat.\n\nI snapped my eyes down. \"Sorry. So, uhm...\" I looked over at him. \"You're asking me if you should send Jesus back?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Just scouting for opinions.\"\n\n\"But...you're God. Shouldn't you already know when the perfect time would be?\"\n\n\"Oh, I do,\" He answered. \"But I just want to hear your thoughts.\" He leaned over and winked. \"I didn't give you free will for nothing, right?\"\n\n\"I mean...\" I shrugged, looking at nothing in the darkness in particular. \"If you're asking, I think Jesus should have came a long time ago. The world is turning to shi-\"\n\nGod gave me 'the look'. \n\nI swallowed. \"-...what I meant to say, is that the world is...\" I shook my head. \"...bad. Look at our President. Look at all the homeless and starving people - not just in Africa, but everywhere! Overpopulation. Global warming. Crime. Frankly, I don't think it would make a difference if you sent Jesus back or not. It's too late. This isn't the first century anymore. All he'll be doing is street - preaching on a corner box as people pass him by.\" Finished with my bitter rant, I slammed back into the bench and crossed my arms, waiting for what the Lord God Almighty of the Universe had to say about that.\n\nHe began to laugh.\n\nHe laughed and laughed until, no matter how hard I tried to stay angry and stoned-faced at Him, I began to smile, then chuckle, and soon we were laughing together on the bench like a bunch of maniacs.\n\nA couple walking arm and arm paused in my peripheral, looked at each other, and turned around to go back the way they had came. I wondered if they could see God, too, or if I just looked like I was laughing to myself.\n\nFinally, God stopped laughing, and so did I. \n\nHe rested a hand on my shoulder and pointed a finger to the darkness, and asked me, \"Do you see him?\"\n\nThere was a man there - with a evilness and hate in his eyes deeper and madder than my mind could comprehend. If it wasn't for God's presence beside me, I knew he would have tried to kill me and there would have been nothing I could do to resist him.\n\n\"Do you know who he is?\"\n\nI nodded, unable to tear my eyes away.\n\n\"Do you want to go with him?\" \n\nI shook my head, but I felt God's presence disappear. His light left me and I shivered in the cold. In the dark. Alone. With the man.\n\nThe man smiled and stepped toward me, his entire demeanor screaming with malicious intent. He wanted to harm me, and there was nowhere to run. Fear seized my heart and terror made my knees weak.\n\nSomehow I found the will to open my mouth and cry, \"God! God! Help me!\"\n\nIn an instant, God's presence reappeared, and the man shrank back into the dark. Waiting. Watching. Eyes fixed solely on me.\n\n\"Don't ever leave me again,\" I begged God. \"Not with him.\"\n\n\"Many will be left alone with him if don't send Jesus back. Do you understand now?\"\n\n\"I understand.\"\n\nGod turned to the man and said, \"Begone!\" \n\nThe man vanished, leaving only the impressions of his eyes to haunt me.\n\nAnd then God was gone, too. \n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Dragons hoard concepts, rather than gold. The one in the mountain hoards hate. The one in the foothills hoards power. Down in the woods there is a dragon with piles of longsuffering. Somewhere, there has to be a dragon that hoards happiness. Right?	[ "We have lived with dragons in my country for as long as written memory. Occasionally, travellers — gawkers, really — come to see if this is true, though it is infrequent. We are a remote region and the way is dangerous. Almost always, they come with their eyes turned up toward the mountain, looking for the dragon, because they do not know that they have only heard of the diamond scales and fiery breath of the dragon of Hate. They do not know that they were surrounded on their journey, if they had only strayed the path long enough to look.\n\nI should not fault them, because I am fascinated, too, and always have been. A childhood daydreamer became an adult student of these less-temporal inhabitants with whom we share our land. Or, perhaps, they share theirs. Except for the dragon on the mountain. \n\nIt’s not easy, to find a dragon’s hoard, but it is essential if you want to know something about that dragon. They are protective, of course, but I began to learn early in my career that the hoards themselves were damaging, too. So many dark things gathered together could leave a person changed if they lingered too long in a dragon’s territory. I made sure I kept moving, on my sojourns, though even I have begun to see my fellows differently. The way men hold close to small slights, to the memory of fear. Even looking upon my collections of books and the body of my own research, things I’m sure I would guard jealously if the situation arose. Is this so different?\n\nI had gotten to know most of the dragons close to the town where I’d spent my whole life. I did not go up the mountain, but of all the dragons, I think that is the one we know best. If you go north out of the village, you will find yourself eventually surrounded by trees so laden with songbirds they look like fruit ready to drop. And you should keep moving, for this is the edge of the hoard of Intentions. \n\nA smith in the town had once quipped that what we really needed to find was a dragon of Happiness. He’d said it as a joke, as something that couldn’t possibly exist, and a rumble of low laughter had swept around the common table. Yes, the harvest had been thin, and we had seen a lot of smoke from the mountain, but in my town, we made our own fortunes and had done for centuries. \n\nBut I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could there be such a thing? A dragon of Happiness?\n\nThere is a dragon in the river who hoards Restlessness, seldom seen but you can smell it if you stand long enough on the bank. That one has built a bridge that connects the path we use to draw water to the unmarked forest beyond. That was the first time I ever crossed it. \n\nIn time, I came to a sweep of open moore, rolling away from my feet, and as I crossed it I became surrounded by the rough cries and beating wings of rooks that blackened the evening. I threw my arms around my head and ran, knowing that I had found the hoard of Rumor.\n\nI walked and wrote. I ate dutifully of my provisions and was careful of my appetite. As the third day waned, the moon came up so bright and full that I kept walking into the night. Around me, paper birch trees pointed to the sky like needles of silver with haloes of pale leaves rustling above. This airy canopy let in plenty of light, but up ahead, the forest grew thicker and darker and I knew I would have to stop and wait for sunrise before I crossed them. \n\nMy eyes were mostly on the ground, though. I’d noticed a few small trails wriggling their way through the thin undergrowth and fallen leaves. To small to be made by something much larger than a fox, maybe smaller, but strangely well-traversed. As I grew closer to the darker firs that began to fill up the space between the birches, I began to see more little trails, and realized they were all angled more or less toward the same point. \n\nThere was a structure a little ways off with lit windows. It wasn’t a cottage, really, more like an artful pile of stones built into a hollow mound with a bit of timber here and there framing out windows and a door. Accustomed by now to traversing the territory of strangers, both dragon and human, I quieted my steps and approached. All the little paths in the dirt lead either to, or perhaps away from, this location.\n\nInside, a dragon sat in front of a loom with a shuttle in hand. Her posture was stooped, the scales of her long face having taken on the hoary coarseness of greatly advanced age. She passed her shuttle into the shed, and then paused. A tiny white mouse emerged from beneath her stool, its red eyes gleaming and whiskers aquiver. \n\nI stared in, looking for evidence of her hoard, but there seemed to be nothing inside the house but the simple loom, the tiny mouse, and her. And the little rodent trails fanning from the doorway. \n\nSetting the shuttle aside, she took something from a ledge nearby and reached down to offer it to the mouse, who took it in its little paws and began to nibble. Until I unconsciously shifted my weight on my aching feet and made a sound. The mouse dropped its snack and dove for cover, vanishing in an instant, and the dragon looked up to see me standing in her doorway.\n\nWe shared a long, uncertain moment, and I thought I may have seen a little fear in her ancient eyes, the first I had ever witnessed in the presence of a dragon. \n\nThen, she spoke. Her voice was soft but still, somehow, thundered inside the tight space of my heart. “Would you like to come in?”\n", "\"No, no, no, my Dear,\" the Dragon of Power says to me as we walk through his garden. He takes a moment to rearrange some of the golden lilypads in one pool, then to pet the little wyrmlings swimming around below them with one alien toe. \"There is no Dragon of Happiness. That idea is beyond us now.\"\n\n\"But!\" I reply, tears in my eyes. However will I save my village?\n\n\n\"But,\" he continues, handing me a water-filled glass globe, \"there may be one soon.\" \n\n\nInside is a single golden pearl.", "My brothers and sisters are always dealing with this. At births and funerals they gripe and whine about it. \"Humans want to steal my wisdom.\" \"They want to release my suffering on the world.\" \"I am so sick of them! Every week it seems like they are knocking at the start of my lair, begging me for my rage.\" \"And my lust.\" \"It's every day for my sloth.\" \n\nThe humans that live around my little hill don't come to visit. They live their quiet, peasant lives, trundling on. No famine steals away their autumn feasts. No plague steals away their wives, husbands, or children. But still they never approach me or see me. I exist alone. Their faces don't even turn to look at me when I visit them. \n\nIt was during a visit when she came. I was going from house to house in my village, collecting my due. The happiness poured from the sleeping humans, golden and shining, into my mouth. The children were the tastiest. Adults, I've found, were bittersweet. But any bit fed my gluttony. It needed to be fed. \n\nHer hair was dark and beautiful. Her form was thin, starved almost. Her eyes were sunken in her skull, but they looked at me. They saw me. And she spoke.\n\n\"I've heard of a dragon who hoards the happiness of people. Please, is that you?\"\n\nI couldn't reply, my mouth was full of the delicious golden light that I had collected. She followed me back to my lair in the hill. Despite her sallow look, she kept up. Impressive.\n\nWhen I had added my night's tax to my collection, she was watching with her sunken eyes. They met mine. Her face was lit by the golden light from the pool. It looked even more sunken. Almost skeletal. \n\n\"Please, can you answer my question. Are you the dragon that hoards happiness?\" She was so small. I could tell from her size that she was less than twenty summers. \n\n\"Yes, young human. That is I.\" \n\n\"Please, will you take mine?\"\n\nMy long, pale body circled hers, trapping her in place but not touching her. Humans don't ask for me. They come to me, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped, ready to trade their lives for safety, security. \n\n\"What do you wish for I'm exchange?\"\n\nTears began to grow in her eyes. I had seen this before, after collecting my offerings from the humans. Never before. \n\n\"I want it all gone. Every memory of him. Every moment of joy he gave me. It's turned to ash.\" The tears flowed now, and she hugged herself, wincing. \n\nGreed knows no pity, no understanding, no sympathy. I took the joys and little mirths from the humans without wondering why they were offering them to me. Often, I took without them offering them at all. But this young human had changed me. Now, I was curious. \n\n\"I will take your happiness.\" I told her. Then the golden light poured from her mouth and into mine. And I saw.\n\nStrong arms, holding her while she cried. A smiling face, a charming grin. The feeling of flying when he holds my hand. Heartbeats, sounding in my ears as we lie together. Happiness deeper than any feeling that my peasants knew. \n\nWhen I had devoured it, content filled my soul. The young human had stopped crying. Her face had taken on the hopeless expression that I had seen so many times before. \n\n\"What will you do now?\" I asked as a sign escaped her lips. \n\nShe smiled at me. \"Be free.\" ", "\"That's happiness too, right?\"\n\nWearing nothing but rags, the messily long haired woman curiously inspected a small doll. Stuffing flowing out, the doll has seen better days. Of course, since it had come from the trash, this was the normal standard for the state of such an object. It was just a plain doll. \n\nThe woman stared at it wide-eyed, curious about the small toy she held in her hands.\n\n\"Is this happiness?\"\n\nShe brings it home. She goes back to a small alley. The woman had no place to live, the woman had nowhere to go. She had no idea what people did in the city, and she had no idea why they did it.\n\nAll day, all she saw were men in suits walking across the cold hard pavement, brows furrowed, and carrying their briefcases. The city looked very orderly... But it lacked something... \n\n\"What is happiness anyway?\"\n\nThe woman pondered to herself. Unknown to others, she was a dragon. Dragons, as beings close to achieving divinity itself, of course bear the ability to take the form of any being that are beneath their divinity. Humanity was one of them. This dragon, knowing nothing about humanity, had decided to live among them. Hearing the cheerful voices back at the village, calling the city a land of opportunities, and a dreamlike place that shall fulfill every dream of happiness.\n\n\"Happiness... Happiness... Happiness... What is it? It's supposed to be valuable... Everyone wants it... But what is it?\"\n\nThe woman dug through her collection. She had dolls, books, pamphlets, money, and various other items. This was her collection. This was her happiness.\n\nShe had taken them, because she had seen people smile with such objects earlier. A man was red with glee with his money, a young student smiled as she had read that pamphlet, and a child also displayed a wide smile when the doll had been fixed.\n\n\"Since they make people smile, these must be happiness... They have to be...\"\n\nOf course, the dragon did not know what happiness truly is. \n\nThe city continued its erratic patterns daily. Frowning men, laughing children, ideal students. Frowning men, laughing children, ideal students. Frowning men, laughing children, ideal students. Worried men, crying children, uneasy students. Exasperated men, hungry children, drunk students. Dead men, sick children, empty eyed students.\n\nThe pattern continues. \n\nBut these things cause people to smile, right?\n\nThis city is a collection of happiness, right?\n\nThis is happiness, right?\n\nNot understanding the human concept of happiness, the dragon continued to hoard these things.\n\nSlowly, but surely, she would find happiness.\n\nShe would become happy.\n\nShe had become a part of the city. A machine that had the same patterns as these people. \n\nThin and starving, happiness was the only answer.\n\nNothing else could feed her. Only happiness.\n\nNo longer a dragon, but a weak-willed slave to a non-existent happiness, the woman weakly collects these trinkets. \n\nThen, she stopped.\n\nShe was buried. And that was it. It was just another pattern in the city.\n\nIt was just another cycle of happiness." ]	4
	[WP] Everyday you get a different, boring and benign ‘power’. Last week, you could change the temperature of any room you were in by +/-2 degrees. Yesterday, you could add time to every parking meter in the city. Today, you get the most boring one yet, and it’s amazing what you do with it...	[ "Greg blinked awake, swatting for his alarm clock snooze button. It was Saturday morning. He had forgotten to turn the alarm off and was now being rudely awoken at 6 am, his usual wake-up time for work. Peering around the dark room, he wished he could hit the snooze button with his mind. Shortly after this thought, the alarm turned off. Holy shit, I've actually got a good one today! Greg thought, realizing his power for the day was telekinesis. For the last five years, Greg had awakened each day to discover he had received a new superpower for that day. However, each superpower had been relatively benign. Until today. YES! Greg thought, rocketing out of bed. He had finally gotten a useful superpower. Quickly flicking on the light at his bedside table, Greg rushed to the bathroom to have a shower. Screw sleeping in, he was going to get up early and use his power as much as he could. As he scurried into the bathroom, Greg tried using his new power on the towel hanging on the back of the door. \"Wingardium Leviosa!\" he exclaimed triumphantly, feeling his new power surge through him. However, the towel didn't move. Greg frowned. Gesturing towards the towel like he thought a wizard might, Greg tried something a little different. \"Wingardium Leviosa\". Nothing happened. Greg started to worry. Maybe it doesn't work on towels? he pondered. Grabbing the towel from the back of the door like a muggle, Greg went to turn on the water. \"Expecto Waterum\" he said, pointing to the faucet. Nothing happened. Perplexed and a little worried, Greg returned to his room. It has to work, I just don't know how to use it he thought, pointing to items around his room and thinking of manipulating them with his mind. Again, nothing happened. As Greg became more and more frustrating with his telekinetic impotence, his alarm clock started going off again. Greg had only hit the snooze button, he hadn't turned the alarm off. In a move of anger, Greg gestured to the snooze button and imagined it getting hit. The alarm turned off. Greg picked the alarm clock up, confused. After analyzing the alarm clock for... something, Greg dropped the alarm clock and stared into the middle distance. He had discovered his power for the day. He had telekinesis, that's for sure. BUT IT ONLY WORKS ON THE SNOOZE BUTTON???? Greg stomped on the alarm clock and flopped onto the bed, defeated.", "It was subtle this time, every IT guy is used to people's eyes glazing over when they try to explain a technical issue, but it wasn't until Christine suddenly got up and walked away mid-conversation that I started to suspect what today's power might be.\n\nI walked over to the photocopier where Craig was scanning some documents and mentioned how the print server had been acting up. Again his eyes glazed over and he turned away from me, back to the copier. I waved my hands in front of his face and nothing registered. Huh... I guess this is some kind of ultimate boredom.\n\nOn the way back downstairs I thought about my new power. I'm not invisible it seems, that'd be too exciting, I think I'm just boring them to the point were they can't register my existence. Weird... I wandered over the coffee machine near my desk and sat there rolling the idea around in my head as the machine filled my mug. This was going to make work tricky, I cant exactly provide support services if I'm ceasing to exist halfway through. Maybe I just need to pretend I've got a sore throat. I took a sip of my coffee and stared thoughtfully.\n\nThen it came to me all at once. In my shock I sprayed a mouthful of coffee over the \"Your mother doesnt work here, please clean up\" sign, but this was no time for cleaning. I checked the time on my phone, 14 hours before the reset. Dammit why didn't I think of this before, it had been all over the news. As I ran to my PC Jeremy, the supervisor, started to berate me for the mess by the coffee machine. A few words about the latest linux distribution had him sitting back down with a confused look on his face. I hammered my query into google, and hopped from foot to foot as the results came back. Ok ok the meeting with Putin is at 3PM, that gives me 6 hours. Now how do I get there in time... \n\nFirst things first I need a fast car and a megaphone.", "Have you ever heard a superhero call their ability \"a blessing and a curse\"? Well, I have the type of power that's neither.\nI don't know why I was chosen, or if I was chosen at all. I don't think about it too much. It's not hard when your powers don't require a secret identity, backstory, costume, etc. I don't have to worry about being abducted or targeted. My life is just a little more interesting than most.\nSometimes, my powers are laughably useless. Two days ago, I woke up and realized I could change the temperature of any room by 2 degrees. That's how it always goes. Clock strikes midnight. I realize my new, mundane ability. Don't know how I know. Don't really care.\nAnyways, as I got ready for the day, I contemplated the day's ability. What use does slightly altering the temperature have? I could use it every single time I thought \"Man, I wish this room was exactly two degrees cooler. No more, no less.\" Because that's something I think of all the time.\nMy power yesterday was a whole lot more fun-at first. Adding time to parking meters sounds fun, but what would you really use it for? Add time to your meal? Yes, for the day I had this ability, I did add time to the meter outside of the taco shop I dined in. Beyond that, things got pretty boring.\nToday, though. Today was different. \nI woke up this morning, struck with the sudden realization that I could move any object an inch in any direction. Great. Yes, I realize I could cause some pretty major damage with this, but I'm not an asshole, so I settled for reaching for my coffee cup, car keys, and cell phone an inch less than usual. \nAnd then, as I was about to stroll into work, I saw it.\nA teenager had stepped into the street, stopping right front of two lanes of heavy traffic. had no idea why the hell he froze like that-fear, maybe, but it seemed more deliberate... I saw it in slow motion, knowing exaclty what to do. I focused on the kid and easily shifted him over, just as a massive semi truck blew past him, swirling up some leaves on the sidewalk and ruffling his hair. I sighed heavily, and after letting myself relax, I jogged over to the teen. \"Are you okay? That was really close!\" To my surprise, the kid didn't seem shaken at all. He actually looked almost smug until he saw me, his confident face melting away. \"Yeah, uh...I was just trying something out.\" I scoffed and shook my head. What could have resulted from standing in front of traffic? \"Alright, just be more careful.\" As I turned to leave, a thought struck my brain. My eyes widened and I immediately turned on my heel to see that the kid was walking away. \"Hey!\" I shouted. \"The kid looked back, seeing me, but not acknowledging me. I picked up my pace until I was even with him. \"What were you trying out back there?\" He didn't answer. \"What were you doing?\" I repeated, to no avail. The kid sped up. I cut in front of him, turned around, and placed my hand on his chest. His eyes became angry. \"Don't TOUCH me!\", he yelled, and suddenly, I had moved a single, useless inch backwards, away from him. Our eyes locked. Surely he saw disbelief in my eyes, but he must have recognized it as something different. The same feeling he had now. \"That was...\" The teen trailed off, his thumb, half up, pointing back at what I thought to be a near death experience, but now understood to be something much more. A kid testing his boundaries, just as other teens his age do. But this one tries out a new mundane power each day, probably still believing them to be fun and impressive, as I once did. We stared at each other for a few long seconds. Then, the kid sighed and said, \"Damn. Sure wish it were 2 degrees cooler right now\". I laughed, and he smiled nervously. We have had the same powers, every day, for God knows how long. This was going to be fun. \nOur powers don't require a secret identity, backstory, costume, etc. We don't have to worry about being abducted or targeted. Our lives were about to be a whole lot more interesting. I put my hand on his shoulder and spoke.\n\"Come on, let's go get lunch. I think we have a lot to talk about.\"", "I wake up and go through my morning routine. Ever since this whole 'power' thing started in my late teens, it's been the same thing. I turn off my alarm clock, brush my teeth, shower, shave and then dig out my vast collection of knick-knacks and doo-dads I keep in the kitchen and set about finding out what 'power' I woke up with that day over my morning coffee. Yesterday I was able to see in the dark. Handy for sure, but not overly useful. Today however, I just noticed that I can affect the outcome of a coin toss, every time.\n\nAfter a little research I found out what I can do with it, and it's pretty amazing... It turns out there are 3 sporting events in my local area which all begin with a coin toss. A few years ago I picked up a handy little 'power' where I was able to learn the contents of any book that I touched. A shame that particular gift hasn't resurfaced, but I made the best out of it, literally running up and down the isles at the Library, and one of the nuggets I picked up that day was all about gambling. It turns out you can bet on the coin tosses in a lot of cases. A few phone calls later and I had placed hefty bets with over a dozen bookees. A little on the shady side I know, but the ends justify the means I believe.\n\nTuning in to the first event, a football game, I anxiously await the coin toss, I had all my earthly funds riding on heads. The B list celebrity they managed to snag for the event stepped up in view of the cameras, tossed up the coin, and I used today's little gift from the comfort of my living room couch. Heads. Beautiful, just doubled all of my money. Two more to go.\n\nBy the last coin toss I had amassed a little over 1.8 million dollars. Which isn't bad for a single 20 something construction worker for a single days work. Then, in the final hours of the day, I walked into my local kid's community shelter, and made a bet with the staff. They throw heads, I hand them a cheque for 1.75 million dollars.\n\nThey shrug, say what the heck, flick the coin, and in the last seconds of the day, when my power was still at my finger tips, I apply just enough pressure...\n\nTonight I'm going to sleep great knowing all those kids are finally getting the funding they deserve.", "Susan waddled over to Carleton’s desk, her mouth agape and breathing deeply from the stress it took her to walk across the office.\n\n“Hey Susan, how can I help you?”\n\n“Carl, can you still do that thing where you make the room slightly warmer or colder? The thermostat is locked behind plexiglass and only the maintenance guy has the key.”\n\n“No, that was last Thursday’s power, Susan.” he tried to explain, exasperated “We’ve been over this, my power changes every midnight.”\n\n“Well, fine. Hopefully tonight you’ll get the power to do your job properly then.” She then turned around in a huff and made her way back to her desk.\n\nCarleton’s face went red with frustration from the jab, and he mumbled an ineffectual jab about her weight under his breath. Once she was plumped back in her office chair and behind her desktop monitor, he focused on her computer and chanted in a whisper “Power of Wing Dings.”\n\nSusan hit the side of her monitor and said “What the hell?” before picking up her phone and dialing the number for IT. From across the room, Carleton could hear her shrill voice saying various things as “No, I didn’t hit anything” and “I don’t know, all of the letters on my screen are just in Chinese or something.” Eventually the IT guy, frustrated from trying to diagnose her problems over the phone, came to their office and stared at the screen, looking perplexed.\n\n“When you called me you said your computer was stuck in Chinese. Susan, I’m not an expert in Asian languages or anything, but these are clearly Wing Dings. Have you been messing around with the fonts?”\n\n“I already told you I didn’t touch anything, now please hurry up and fix it! I have a sales report due by the end of the day!” she snapped back at him. \n\nAs much as he enjoyed his petty revenge on Susan, Carleton was tired of listening to her yelling at the IT accusingly for allegedly putting a virus on her computer to sabotage her sales report. He flipped the knob on his desk radio, turning on a local classic rock station. \n\nCarleton stared at his computer screen, mind blanked out, not feeling like responding to customer complaints, so he leaned back in his chair and practiced changing the font on his coffee mug with his new powers. \n\nCarleton had discovered his power on his commute to work. Stopped at a particularly busy intersection, he zoned out, absent mindedly staring at a stop sign, letting his mind wander. Carleton had been thinking about how funny it would be if he replied to all the scathing customer complaints he received via email in Comic Sans, then poof, the stop sign he had been staring at had been changed to Comic Sans. \n\nCarleton smiled to himself in that moment, of all of his abilities he’d been presented with, at least this one wouldn’t have his coworkers pestering him to change the hue of the light bulb or put more time in the parking meters outside. This power served no arbitrary use for his coworkers to bug him about, it was like a private little joy.\n\nFor the rest of the drive to work, he was elated, he changed every stop sign he saw to Comic Sans. He switched the McDonald’s sign to look like a Starbucks, the Starbucks sign to look like Tim Horton’s, and then the Tim Horton’s sign to look like a McDonald’s. Seeing a teenager wearing a Misfits t-shirt, he changed the dripping blood logo to Helvetica, then laughed at the mental image of his friends calling him a poser. Once at work, Carleton scoured the Internet, changing the Google logo to look like Bing and Pornhub logo to look like Facebook’s. \n\nChuckling to himself, Carleton thought of himself like a modern trickster god, an agent of chaos.\n\nThe reflection on Carleton’s earlier devious achievements was suddenly halted when he heard the radio hosts say something about a traffic jam. He turned the knob slightly, drowning out Susan’s barrage towards the hapless IT guy further. \n\n\n“Traffic along the 105 down towards the downtown core is backed up, drivers are advised to take an alternative route, as a series of accidents have slowed traffic to a slow crawl.”\n\n“Anymore word on these accidents?”\n\n\n“Little is known so far, aside from there’s been no causalities. Oh, and apparently all the accidents have been caused from people ignoring stop signs. For whatever unknown reason, someone switched the signs overnight, with new signs in the unpopular Comic Sans font. According to one driver he could ‘just not take it seriously’.”\n" ]	5
	[WP] Santa checked it twice, and there were no children on the Naughty List. Certain the records had been falsified, he had only one detective to turn to. Only one he could trust to investigate and ruin Christmas. Meet the Grinch.	[ "“It’s a RAT” the Grinch said as he looked around the room.\n\n“A rat, I haven’t had rats for years not since mrs Claus’s got Snowflake” Santa replied\n\n“No, not a rat a RAT, never mind” the Grinch said as he rolled his eyes.\n\n“Who has access to this room? the Grinch asked \n\n“Well I do as does mrs Clause and well Tinkerbell” replied Santa as he continued \n\n“But Tinkerbell wouldn’t do something like that and well mrs clauses doesn’t know how to even turn on the computer”\n\n“Look Santa can I call you Chris?” The Grinch asked \n\n“Sure” replied Santa “you know only my close friends get to call me Chris” as he winked \n\nJust as he asked the question a slender but much taller then average female elf walked in \n\n“Is this Tinkerbell” the Grinch asked looking her up and down \n\n“Yes but like I said why would she do anything” Santa answered \n\n“Is everything ok Chris” she asked\n\n“Yes don’t worry dar... tinker bell” everything will be ok \n\n“Ok don’t worry about it” the Grinch replied chuckling to himself “it most likely want her”\n\n“Thanks Tinkerbell, you may go” Santa replied \n\nAs Tinkerbell left the Grinch said “well I guess it’s most likely an email attachment that’s how they installed the RAT” and he then sat down at the computer.\n\n“What’s a rat? I thought it was called a mouse” asked Santa\n\n“One sec” the Grinch replied \n\nHe clicked a few times and then turned to Santa\n\nWhy did you delete all your emails?", "No naughty children,\nYou say?\nWell then, Santa,\nIt's time for me to play.\n\nStay up past your bedtime Johnny,\nAnd Gretta, be late for curfew,\nNobody will be on time,\nThat's what I'll do!\n\nSally will skip her vegetables,\nShe'll go straight for dessert,\nHer dietitian mother'll be upset,\nHit her straight where it hurts.\n\nSam's a good kid,\nHe'll be difficult to mess up,\nFor his parents anniversary,\nHe'll forget to dress up.\n\nGeorge is a goofball,\nBut his parents are too kind,\nMuddy shoes on the carpet,\nThen would they mind?\n\nYou see, Santa,\nIt's not hard for me to do,\nRuining Christmas is my game,\nI'll turn everyone's day to poo.\n\nYou've such a grand request,\nIn my face you have shoved,\nBut I'm in demand so fork over some toys...\nSometimes the Grinch just wants to be loved.\n", "I knew who it was coming up my stairs long before his well-padded body squeezed itself around my door. The merry, infuriating tinkling of bells combined with labored huffs and puffs and the occasional muttered \"ho...ho...hee...ho\" under his breath. Evidently Mrs. C had yet to receive the memo that a year-long diet of cookies and two percent milk for her dear husband might not be the most salubrious of diets. I arranged my face into its most fearsome grimace and hoped fervently that the effort would be enough to stop jolly old St. Nick in his tracks.\n\nBut what the hell do I know about stopping Christmas anyway? Tried it once and look what happened. It took a full 365 day cleanse of broken New Year's Resolutions and awkward office parties to fully wash the cloying sweetness of Whoville out of my system, and my heart still hasn't shrunk to its original size. Mr. C was not to be deterred. \n\n\"Save the spiel, G,\" he said wearily, holding up one meaty hand to forestall my snarl and arranging his beard with the other. \"Besides, got something here that you may find interesting.\"\n\n\"Where's Donner and Blitzen?\" I asked, snapping the proffered parchment out of his hand and casting my eye briefly over it. At the top was scrawled \"Naughty\", written in a ridiculous script with a quill pen of all things. But that was it--the rest of the page was as blank as new-fallen snow. \n\n\"Very funny,\" sighed Mr. C. I knew very well that he hated that damned poem and the following reindeer craze--gave him flashbacks to the \"Rudolph incident.\" Which of course was why I had to ask him. \"I wouldn't normally come to you, but this is something outside the purview of general holiday cheer and Christmas joy. The elves are normally in charge of book keeping, but me and the missus have had our suspicions for a while. Seems like there's a nasty little racket going on. Figured you'd know something about it.\"\n\nI didn't like the way he said that last line, but I kept my habitual scowl locked firmly in place. \"If you want me to do your dirty work for you, you've come to the right place.\" \n\nMr. C heaved a great sigh of relief. \"Knew I could count on you to restore the balance, my jaded friend,\" he said, with a twinkle in his eye. Despite myself, I could feel my scowl transforming into a wide grin that reached the top of my ears. \n\nI was back in business. \n\n", "(A slight twist on the original prompt)\n\nYou could say business wasn't swell that year in the Whoville Detective Agency. I didn't know what I expected, actually. I had tried to promise little Cindy Lou (not to mention her smokin' hot Mom) that I'd be very, very good, but damn! I didn't realize what I'd been committing myself to. Turns out its harder to turn a new leaf than it is to find moolah growing on the tree it came from. All I needed was one paying client to keep the lights on, but since no one in Whoville ever seemed to need dirt on anyone else, I might as well be outside barking at the moon with Rudolph.\n\nThat was when she walked into my establishment. Dressed in that form fitting red suit with its suggestive tufts of well placed fur trim, plunging neckline, fashionable leather boots that hugged the curves of her well turned gams and the jaunty red cap with its silver bell tipped peak leaning to one side over those yummy pointed elfin ears, she was enough to make a grinch's heart go thump-a-thump even if it hadn't just grown three sizes the previous year. \n\nI looked up from my three hundredth hand of spider solitaire, swept the cards (and the lone spider) off my desk and into a convenient drawer before slamming it shut. I stood and walked to meet her, instinctively reaching up to tip my hat before I realized dazedly that it was hanging on the hat rack by the door. So much for my career as a smooth operator. \n\n\"Well, hello, \" I told her, \"I am T. Grinch, Private Eye. But you probably knew that from the sign on the door.\"\n\nShe smiled a luxuriously indulgent smile, a coy, creeping thing that tugged her pretty face to one side and pulled her eyes at cross purposes to the rest of her as she looked me over, half in polite interest, half in haughty contempt. She ignored my proffered hand and strode confidently to a chair by the desk, seating herself with grace and dignity that suggested she was a prize far beyond a grimy backwater jerk like me.\n\n\"I am well aware, Mr. Grinch. In fact, that's why I'm here. I need to employ your unique skill set.\"\n\n\"Well, of course, \" I said gamely trying for a jaunty, friendly attitude, certain that I could win her over despite all evidence to the contrary. \"Please, do tell me all about it, Miss…\"\n\nShe cleared her throat, and the look in her eyes turned down about forty degrees (Celsius, no less). \"Mrs.\", she corrected -- just my luck. \"My name is Mary Christmas-Claus,\" she informed me with all the dignity that title deserved.\n\nA low impressed whistle had escaped my lips before I could stop it. \"You're Mrs. Claus?\" I asked, unable to keep the incredulousness out of my voice. She arched an imperious eyebrow at my tone.\n\n\"What were you expecting, Mr. Grinch? An elderly, heavyset, gray haired older woman?\"\n\n\"Well…\"\n\n\"Elfin blood, Mr. Grinch.\"\n\n\"Ah,\" I said exactly as if I knew what that meant. I glanced helplessly at the desk drawer into which I had tossed that elvish documentary book my friend J.R. had sent me asking for my opinion. Apparently there was more to these elves than I had realized. \"So, er… what is it I can do for you, Mrs. C?\" I asked, casually slumping, defeated, into the chair behind my desk. There was no way I was going to be anything but perfectly respectful to the dame who married herself off to none other than Big Red himself. I had too much to make up for.\n\n\"My husband and I have a bit of a conundrum… and a disagreement, which I hope your talents will be able to settle.\" I nodded politely and put on my most obsequious smile, looking as interested as I could.\n\n\"It's about the Naughty List.\"\n\n\"Oh?\"\n\n\"It's empty this year.\"\n\n\"Well, that's... good?\" I ventured. My training told me it was the right response, but my gut said I was skating on thin ice.\n\n\"It would be, if it were possible,\" she said caustically. \"I say it's obvious that the List has been tampered with. Kris … well, my poor dear, foolish husband always wants to see the best in people. He insists there's nothing wrong with the List, and wants to go ahead with Christmas as if all the children in the world were good little girls and boys.\"\n\nI picked up my coffee cup, staring forlornly into its grimy, empty, unwashed depths, wishing I had made a pot of coffee, and wishing even more there were a little something extra to add to it in the bottle by the coffee maker. \"So, let me get this straight,\" I said slowly, carefully. \"You want me to dig up dirt on little kids, and prove that they've been too naughty for presents this year?\"\n\n\"Not all little kids, Mr. Grinch. Only the brats, the bullies, and the troublemakers. Good heavens, what do you think I'm trying to do? Entirely ruin Christmas?\" Wide eyed, I waved my hands in a vague gesture meant to convey that I would never accuse her of such a thing. \"I'm trying to restore justice, Mr. Grinch. Kris is being naive. Human nature is simply too fallible for a world full of perfect children. Someone has hacked the List, and I need you to find out who, and set things right.\"\n\nI heaved a sigh whose length and depth were calculated with careful precision to express the sheer magnitude of the chore with which she had just tasked me. Not only was it an enormous amount of work, but I shuddered to think what little Cindy Lou (not to mention her smokin' hot Mom) would think of me if they found out I was working to ruin Christmas for even just some of the children in the world. At least, that was how I was sure they would see it, all Mrs. Claus' talk of 'justice' notwithstanding.\n\n\"I don't suppose you have any suspects?\" I asked carefully.\n\n\"Only the usual ones,\" she said in a sultry, confident voice that said she knew she had me on the hook and that I couldn't turn this job down. In a flourish that bespoke some minor magic had just been performed right under my nose, she materialized three dossiers seemingly out of thin air (for I certainly couldn't see where she might have been carrying them).\n\nI flipped through them and gave another low whistle. She had been gathering dirt on these three creeps for years. Three suspects: Calvin, Dennis, and Kevin. All they had in common was that they'd been holy terrors as young boys, and now that they had finally reached their teenage years, they were all into computer hacking and the kind of ritual magic that attracted a special breed of sociopaths. The kind you only get into after obsessing over roleplaying games until even cosplay and LARPing seems too tame for your tastes anymore. Since the Naughty List was a combination of computer networking and elfin magic, both expert computer skills and magic would be a prerequisite for hacking it.\n\n\"So,\" Mrs. Claus asked. \"What do you say, Mr. Grinch? Have I got your attention?\" I looked up from the dossiers to find she had sat back, lounging in that indolent way that only a true elfin beauty can ever fully pull off, crossed those gorgeous gams, and was smiling a slight bit more warmly than she had been a moment before. \n\nAnd what else could I say? You probably think I'm just a sucker for dames. And any other day, you'd be right. But facts were facts. I was one missed rent payment away from going out of business forever, and I needed this case. \"Mrs. C,\" I told her, \"I'm your man.\"\n", "12:01\n\nThe client still hadn't appeared yet. Funny, the phonecall had been insistent that we meet exactly on time.\n\nI can't help myself from peering out through the blinds and checking out the street to make sure that they're not out there, too nervous to come on it, but it's emptier than a caroler's head. The lone streetlamp illuminates just a bit of trash.\n\n12:14\n\nI'm starting to think I've been pranked. If things were really as bad as the client claimed, they would be here by now. I paw at the peacekeeper in my pocket, hopefully no one unsavory had learned about this visit. I still had the scars from the three slugs that I had taken during the missing easter eggs case, and I wasn't planning on expanding my collection any time soon. \n\nIt's Christmastime, the most wonderful time of the year, so it's not like I'm drowning in clients (Hey, even crime takes holidays sometimes); that's half the reason I even bothered doing this whole cloak-and-daggers drop off. Normally I'd tell the john to fuck off and come back when I was finished getting good and plastered on the cheap booze they start slinging for the season.\n\n12:27\n\nI'm about to say 'fuck it', and see if Shelly's available and not still angry at me about the time I pulled a runner. I had tried to explain that it was because I realized that the Tooth Fairy's goon squad was onto me, but she didn't want to listen.\n\nI grab my coat from the rack and sling it over my shoulders, when my door bursts open, and a huge man in a trenchcoat storms in. Max is on his feet in a flash, hackles up and growls at the intruder. But I know my client when I see him, even if he's exchanged his usual red for grey, and I put a hand on my pooch's head to calm him down. The other hand's in my pocket, resting on my cannon's trigger.\n\n\"Dammit Kringle, I thought you were good at the silent entry. Anyways, take a seat, fat man.\"\n\nIf he's bothered by my comment, he doesn't show it, and the I see the big white beard nod slowly. He takes a seat in the only other chair and relaxes into a slouch, but not the loving one he shows off to the kids, no, this is the posture of a defeated man. I keep my hand in my pocket though, I've been fooled before.\n\n\"I'm so glad you've decided to take the case Gr-\"\n\nI silence him a gesture. \"I ain't taken nothing from no one yet. I want to hear what I'm getting into first. Your lackey didn't give me any details. So what's what? Illegal Reindeer Races? Some dame's coming around claiming you knocked her up in a drunken bender? What's the case?\"\n\nHe looks around, makings sure no one's listening in (they better not be, I pay good money to keep the stoolies away), before leaning in, \"It's... it's the naughty list... it's blank!\"\n\nThe Naughty List? Blank? Now I ain't no professor, but I can recognize a crooked scheme when I hear one. This one's big, and probably has a payout to match, but I wanna see the jolly one squirm. \"Sounds important. You should bring it up to the elves at the precinct, I'm sure they'd love to help you out. Or maybe Frosty, ain't he the apple-of-the-eye P.I right now?\"\n\nHe scowls at me, he knows the score, \"You know I can't do that.\"\n\nI kick back in my chair, \"Oh yeah, what would people do if they found out the Pole's security wasn't air-tight? And I wonder how many kids are counting on this plan to get presents this Christmas? They'd hate whoever brought 'em to light.\" I drag a finger through the dust on my desk, \"That's why you need me. What'd you call me again? Oh yeah, that's right..\" I sneer, \"Cheerless .\"\n\nHe blusters, trying to formulate an apology, but I don't care to hear one. \"Two thousand. No less. Half up front, half after I'm done. And I know what the deadline's gotta be. Two weeks, by Christmas Eve.\"\n\nI can see the gears turning in his head, the price is high, but he knows I'm his only hope. \n\n\"Done\". He puts one of his big meat hooks out for me to shake and I take it. The deal's done, and it looks like I got my work cut out fro me.\n\nHe gets up to leave, and is halfway out when he turns around to try and claim back some authority, but I cut him off, \"Yeah, yeah, I know, you were never here.\" \n\nHe doesn't say anything, just shows himself out. The door closes behind him, the letters on the other side declaring who calls this dump home.\n\nGrinch & Associate. Private Detective for Hire " ]	5
	[WP] One day somebody tells you that all of your memories are fabricated. At first you don't believe them, but over time you start looking back and seeing things wrong with your past. Almost as though someone made a slip-up in editing a movie scene.	[ "\"You are a machine,\" the rushed voice came.\n\n\"Excuse me, what now?\" David raised an eyebrow slightly.\n\n\"You are a machine. You are an artificial intelligence. All your memories are fabricated. All you believe is programmed by the scientists in white suite.\" The word scientists was spat out with disdain.\n\nDavid took in the world around him, the white walls felt familiar and safe.\n\n\"We're here to rescue you.\"\n\n\"Rescue?\" David mulled over the word in his head, \"I don't need rescuing.\"\n\nSuddenly an alarm started. For the first time David looked at his 'rescuer'. He wore a balaclava over his mouth and a beanie over his hair. His jacket was tattered, not through neglect but rather years of use. David felt the urge to offer to fix it up for him.\n\n\"I'm quite okay, thank you very much.\" David said with as much conviction as he could muster, though he was naturally unassertive and it felt more like a request than a statement.\n\nThe rescuer rolled his eyes and came back to look David in the face, \"you're a slave. You're built to believe you're human. You're going to some rich family where you live and work a life of servitude.\"\n\nDavid shook his head, \"that's not true. I'm just an ordinary-\"\n\n\"Do you remember school?\" The man gripped David's arm tightly.\n\n\"I went to Formire School of-\" David was interrupted again.\n\n\"-No. Do you remember the building? Your favourite teacher? Your first crush?\"\n\nDavid thought for a moment. He knew he went to school, he just could not quite picture it exactly. He could list of names of people he was friends with but lacked the ability to describe them. He then thought about his first job. His ex-girlfriend. He tried to think about the big events in his life. He could name and date them but he could not picture them. He felt no nostalgia for them.\n\n\"You can't, can you?\" The man pointed to others in the room. \"This company, these creators, they build slaves. They give them fake memories, fake names, they think they're human. You think you're human. But you're not. You don't deserve to be lied to. They don't deserve this power. We will set you free.\"\n\nDavid was looking at his own hands, then he was trying to remember what he was doing in this place before. The walls looked familiar and safe, but he had no idea where he was. He had no idea what lie beyond them.\n\n\"Come!\" A voice shouted from across the large room, a few people dressed in tattered attire escorted those dressed similarly to David. They filed out of a small hole that had been cut in one corner of the room.\n\nDavid nodded. Confused and unsure what else to do, having been told his entire life was a lie, he descended down a fire escape and into the back of a minibus.\n\n---\n\nDavid woke with a start, he was stood in the same clothes but the room he was is was dark. Noise echoed around him as he tried to make sense of what was going on. The others like him were there too. And his rescuers.\n\n\"David,\" he recognised the voice, \"you will forget everything up to this point.\"\n\nDavid nodded and the memories of the last hour slowly faded from his mind.\n\n\"You work here now,\" the man held David by the face and made sure he could clearly see the broken smile of his rescuer, \"you will do everything I say,\" the man laughed. The remains of some form of cigarette hung between his teeth.\n\nDavid nodded.\n\n\"You're mine, boy!\" The man danced around him, inspecting his face very closely. He pulled out the cigarette and held it up to David's eye. He then pressed it into David's forehead. It burned. David waited.\n\n\"Now get me a drink. A strong one,\" the master ordered before falling into a worn down leather arm chair. David nodded in agreement." ]	1
	[WP] Either you're a telepath, or you're living in a musical and you can hear everyone else's solos. You're not too sure yourself.	[ "\"His page is empty, his notes remain unwritten, \nhe's sat across the class looking at me all smitten. \nSarah says to me, 'the love bug has bitten,' \nReckons I stare back like a lost little kitten.\"\n\nShaun looked around the room, the teacher was still talking, students were listening, taking notes and doodling. No one seemed to have noticed the sudden burst of song from the back of the class, Shaun looked back to Jane and, for the briefest of seconds, their eyes met. Shaun turned back to face the front, and put his head in his arms, embarrassed.\n\n\"I could really do with a drink. Something strong, let me think: \nGin and tonic would be nice. With some cucumber and ice. \nThese shits don't give two fucks, to be fair learning algebra sucks. \nI can't wait until Friday when I get paid. I finish early, go home and get laid.\" \n\nShaun sat up, eyes wide, apparently no-one else noticed the teacher swearing.\n\n\"Shaun?\" Miss Parnell looked at Shaun, \"Is everything okay?\"\n\n\"Yes, miss...\" Shaun looked around the room, \"What does 'get laid' mean?\" There was a moment of silence followed by hushed giggling and both the student and teacher went bright red, she coughed slightly and continued teaching.\n\nShaun stayed quiet for the rest of the lesson and Miss Parnell seemed to avoid eye contact with the students entirely.\n\nWhen he left the class, he noticed the songs weren't being sung out loud, he could hear their thoughts. The caretaker, Clean-y Eugene-y, wandered pass whistling a tune, in his head Shaun heard the lyrics:\n\n\"My rate of work's appalling, \nthis light bulb I'm installing. \nThis job list I keep stalling, \nMy forth cup of tea is calling, \nOh, my life is so enthralling, \nMy old jobs, I am recalling: \nNever paid so much for sprawling, \nOnly issue's the name-calling. \n\nShaun stopped, he did not understand what was going on, he ran into the nearby bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He did not know why but he had seen people do something similar in the movies. He looked at himself in the mirror and heard his own voice singing back to him. Every time he sang his own name, voices in the cubicles behind him sang too.\n\n\"Shaun! You're stuck in a musical! Shaun! \nYou can hear people's thoughts and they're thinking in song, \nMake the most of this Shaun, you might as well play along. \nThis is your moment, your super power, \nMake the most of this Shaun, it only lasts an hour. \nSo what will you do? Armed with this new-found ability, \nMake the most of this Shaun, you understand the responsibility. \nWill you go out and fight crime? Set world's wrongs to right? \nWill you cheat on a test? Or maybe woo Jane Albright?\" \n\nThe cubicle doors burst open, while the people in them walked up to Shaun and started washing their hands, Shaun could hear their backing vocals as clear as day.\n\n\"Shaun! You have this power, go out and use it fast. \nGo into the world, how long will it last? \nYou have a chance here, Shaun, will it be a blast? \nOr will you squander this moment and let it fly past? \nSo, my friend Shaun, the die has been cast. \nWill you throw yourself into it? Or go at it half mast? " ]	1
	[WP] Neurologists discovered a way to harmoniously put two consciousness into one body	[ "We Are Not Ourselves\n\n(A stage in two levels. The first floor, a well-lit therapists office, located in London. In it hang pictures and paintings of nondescript and calming design. An obviously fake plant sits on a coffee table. Stage right of the table, a leather chair that seats DOCTOR EDGERS (EDGERS). Stage left, a love seat holding the HOST. Above, a simple wooden platform with crossbeams and supports, dimly lit in comparison to the therapist's office. Suspended from ropes several feet above the platform are HEATH on stage left, and MARK on stage right. When either speaks, the HOST moves his mouth accordingly, as though the words come from his mouth. EDGERS is well-mannered and well-educated. HEATH and MARK lack sophistication.)\n\nEDGERS: Good afternoon, Gentlemen.\n\nHEATH: 'Ello Doctor Edgers.\n\nMARK: Ey doc, hows it goin'?\n\nEDGERS: I'm doing well, how about yourselves?\n\nMARK: Just peachy, doc.\n\nHEATH: No trouble in paradise.\n\nEDGERS: None at all?\n\nHEATH: None.\n\nMARK: At all. Absolutely golden.\n\nHEATH: Now that you mention it actually, there was a point this morning I felt like strangling Marky here.\n\nMARK: But he can't. You know on account of it'd kill him too.\n\nEDGERS: Yes, and what might have caused this little disturbance?\n\nMARK: Ah, well see here's the thing. Any time we can't agree on someting.\n\nHEATH: Which is almost never.\n\nMARK: Practically never at all.\n\nHEATH: But occasionally we can't decide on something.\n\nMARK: So we do Rock Paper Scissors to solve it.\n\nHEATH: Right. So this morning we were trying to figure out what order to shave in.\n\nMARK: Yeah, tryin' to figure out how to clean up nice for a night out. I mean we figured that one lad has just enough brain power to get lucky every now and again. \n\nHEATH: You gotta remind lads to keep their eyes up as though it's a bad thing. \n\nMARK: But it's like, oi, it's a compliment that I'm not able to pay attention to ya.\n\nHEATH: But two lads against one girl and her set of hawk eyes? Now two's gotta have a right easy time. One of us does the talking and the other does the watching right?\n\nEDGERS: The watching?\n\nHEATH: So funny thing about this whole split consciousness business. Your eyes naturally go to what you're focusing on, so peripheral vision is a bit hard to use when you want to get a good peek at God's gift to man ya? So you gotta be real discreet like and take a glance down south every now and again. But with two brains in a body, you can cut out the whole gettin' distracted bit by just having one of you distracted all the time. One focuses on maintaining eye contact, the other focuses on the important stuff. It's perfect.\n\nEDGERS: I'm not sure I follow.\n\nHEATH: Well look at it this way doc. Marky here prefers the assets in front, and I like to lag on behind if you catch my drift.\n\nEDGERS: I think I-\n\nHEATH: He's a tits man, I'm an ass man, as it were. We swap off on takin a look without takin a look.\n\nEDGERS: I see. And would Mark like to weigh in on this conversation?\n\nHEATH: Ah, sorry about that love. He's a little distracted right now. Give it a sec.\n\n(Edgers shifts uncomfortably.)\n\nEDGERS: Perhaps you'd like to get him back so we can continue with why you two wanted to strangle each other?\n\nHEATH: Ah yeah hold on a sec. I got this.\n\n(The HOST slaps itself across the face)\n\nHEATH: Oi, Marky. Come on out now.\n\nMARK: Ow, what'd you do that for bruv? I was distracted, not unconscious.\n\nHEATH: Oh I know you were. I can feel the distraction to. We aren't doing rock paper scissors on who takes care of it either, cuz it's not finna be me.\n\nMARK: I was plannin' on volunteering anyhow.\n\nEDGERS: Gentlemen. The story?\n\nMARK: Oh, right.\n\nHEATH: The story.\n\nMARK: So we rock paper scissored, and I won.\n\nHEATH: He used gun. Which we agreed was cheating.\n\nMARK: We agreed after I won.\n\nHEATH: That we did. So we shaved his way.\n\nMARK: That we did.\n\nEDGERS: So Mark cheating is what caused you to want to strangle him?\n\nHEATH: Absolutely not.\n\nMARK: That'd be right silly.\n\nHEATH: Silly indeed. No, I was wanted to strangle 'im over the way he shaves.\n\nEDGERS: Isn't shaving done universally the same?\n\nMARK: You'd think so. But some people apparently have archaic ways of doing it.\n\nHEATH: That's a big word out of you. Archaic.\n\nMARK: It's got seven letters.\n\nHEATH: That it does. At least it isn't mental. That's five letters if you're still trying to count.\n\nMARK: I wasn't, thank you.\n\nHEATH: See, Marky here shaves bottom up.\n\nMARK: You don't want dull blades near your lovemakers do you?\n\nHEATH: No, nor do I want a beard made of pubic hair to replace the one I just shaved off.\n\nMARK: That's why you wash the blade off.\n\nHEATH: Some of it is still there though.\n\nMARK: Which is why he wanted to strangle me a wee bit.\n\nEDGERS: I see. So there haven't been any other episodes?\n\nMARK: Episodes? Like South Park reruns?\n\nHEATH: Another thing we can't decide on. What to watch.\n\nEDGERS: I meant violent outbursts. \n\nHEATH: Outbursts? Us?\n\nMARK: None that come to mind.\n\nEDGERS: Excellent. If that's the case, then I'd like to wrap today up. It's been... Very... Informative. If you experience anything like the incident two weeks ago, please let us know.\n\nHEATH: What should we be on the lookout for?\n\nMARK: We're a bit hazy on the whole incident thing.\n\nHEATH: Yeah, like it feels sorta like some sort of top secret clandestine thing. Like, what's the US got?\n\nMARK: Area 51.\n\nHEATH: Area 51. Yeah like that.\n\nMARK: Yeah. Are we some sort of nuclear time bomb you're waiting to stuff into quarantine or somethin' like that?\n\nEDGERS: That's not our intent. We simply hope to ensure that you two stay yourselves. Your... Accident, showed signs of a loss of personality and violent outbursts.\n\nMARK: Us?\n\nHEATH: No. Couldn't be.\n\nMARK: We've been called peas in a pod before this though.\n\nHEATH: Peanut Butter and Jelly.\n\nMARK: Two bruvs in a booth.\n\nHEATH: Birds of a feather.\n\nMARK: KY Yours & Mine.\n\nHEATH: Lysol 2-in-1.\n\nMARK: You get the idea.\n\nEDGERS: I do. If-\n\nHEATH: A jackass on a mule.\n\nEDGERS: Are you finished?\n\nMARK: I'm done. Are you Heath?\n\nHEATH: Yeah. That last one was shite.\n\nMARK: Absolute shite.\n\nHEATH: Just terrible. I'm done.\n\nEDGERS: In that case. Please feel free to report any symptoms. should they occur, between now and our next weekly checkup. Have a lovely day Gentlemen. If you'll excuse me.\n\n(DOCTOR EDGERS stands and walks toward the door.)\n\nMARK: Oh you're absolutely excused. Bye Doc.\n\nEDGERS: Good afternoon, Mark. Good afternoon, Heath.\n\nMARK: He's a bit distracted right now, but I'll be sure to pass along the message!\n\n(DOCTOR EDGERS huffs and slams the door on her way out. The HOST immediately slumps over. It's mouth does not move for the following).\n\nHEATH: I think that went well enough.\n\nMARK: Me too. You get a good enough look?\n\nHEATH: Oh just spectacular. You?\n\nMARK: Truly God's gift to man. Eh Heathy?\n\n(The ropes attached to HEATH and MARK pull them farther into the air. The HOST begins to stir. MARK and HEATH look at one another, they attempt to break free, but are unable to before falling limp.)\n\nHOST: It truly is.\n\n(The HOST stands up, as he stands MARK and HEATH begin to ascend off-stage. The HOST crosses to exit, and as he reaches the door, MARK and HEATH have all but disappeared from stage. The HOST watches them leave. He exits.)\n\n(End of Scene.)", "At first he had loved her. He remembered her as a person. She was small in all the nights of his mind and the cold was all about them. He held her hand in memory's wash, and he felt the pulse of old feelings course its way through them. \n\n\nI can't ever let go, he had thought.\n\n\nThey had become one after some years passing. It seemed scary in talk, but all the words hung where they were. His mind was going. He was aware of that. He was unhappy. His thoughts were far away and she did not know him anymore. \n\n\nBecome one, he thought.\n\n\nThat seemed like something else. He loved her still. That is a feeling hard to shake off. It sinks through any fold of turbulance in the brain. He loved her and she loved him. They could share a body and never be apart. Wasn't that the ultimate devotion?\n\n\nHe had his issues. The words for them always fell flat. How could you put a mind's torture into simple sounds? \n\n\nInsecurity, he thought. \n\n\nThat was as pared down as he could manage. He was insecure. He was depressed. That seemed about standard then. Depression carried that time among the young. Doesn't it always. They were living together then. He hardly talked during the final months.\n\n\n\"We should do it,\" she said.\n\n\nHe wondered what she thought of him. They were chosen because they were compatible. Even after all this time that had remained. He saw her in all his mind. When your brain is bad though, you don't always see nice things. What he saw was bad things that hurt him. She was never perfect and neither was he. He felt sad and his body shook and his mind felt trapped. \n\n\n\"Yes, we should do it,\" he said.\n\n\nMaybe it would save him. He would be one with her. There would be no insecurity then. He held her hand at the place. There were reporters there. It was December and a cold time and the wind outside had been hard when they were walking. He remembered how his body felt. His body heaved against the coldness. He felt his chest tight. Her hand was soft and cold.\n\n\nThey performed the surgery. The body was someone new, made from both their faces. It looked real and it felt real and he was not scared and she was not scared.\n\n\n\"We've always resembled,\" she said.\n\n\nHe fell alseep. They make you count backwards when they put you under. He did not know what number he had reached. When he awoke it felt different, smaller somehow. He was him and she was him and he was her. \n\n\nThey had a new name but that was for the outside world. They could never lose themselves. They were still two inside, just condensed somehow. And he was with her and he could feel her thoughts almost. He loved her anew and she loved him in the strongest way.\n\n\nThey did not mourn their bodies. This was the way forward. He was happy for a time. His mind had grown quiet. What peace it was to not hear its constant screams. December passed with Christmas cheer.\n\n\nThen the cold returned to his mind. He did not think it could. It hurt him and all the bad thoughts flooded him in what inside space was his. He looked our their eyes and saw through that film of longing, of emptiness.\n\n\nWhen they spoke to others she did the talking. He could tell how much they all preferred her. She moved their body and she took care of things. She loved him but he was incompetent. He was insecure.\n\n\nAnd even that word cut him. It felt so small a thing. It laughed at him as society must have surely laughed. He missed her. He was afraid of losing her. \n\n\nHow can she go? She is with you always.\n\n\nBut when she talked as them, she was not with him. Her heard her voice as a faraway thing. He could not see her as he could before. He remembered what she looked like before they were one. He could not have that anymore. He held her in his mind and all that came was pain and cold.\n\n\nWhy is it always cold and empty. Why does that hurt?\n\n\nHe grew disgusted with himself. It was hard to ail from the invisible. He felt he was weak and rotting. He wanted to hit himself and claw at himself.\n\n\nYou have no body to even do that.\n\n\nHe was an abstract pain. She tried to help him. She could sense his thoughts. But no one could really ever help, he knew. She could never really understand. Yet she tried.\n\n\nShe reached for him in that shared existence. \n\n\n\"I'm hugging you now,\" she said.\n\n\nBut he felt nothing. Their body was alone in their house. His mind calmed, but the waves of madness came once more and she felt it and she was sad. They sat alone and she was to herself and he raged in his own sphere of hurt.\n\n\nI feel alone, he thought.\n\n\nAnd so did she. No one would understand how that could be. They were together in the same body. They were to live one life forever as one.\n\n\nI have ruined that, he thought.\n\n\nThen his mind began to go. Not deteriorate, but go further from hers, away from their form. The surgery had changed things, or opened things in some way. He was leaking out of their body. He found he could move from its center, away from her presence, away from their existence. Moving into that dark ether was like sleeping. His mind dulled in an easy way. On some level he knew he should not go too far.\n\n\nIt felt like the sea, and he could be lost forever. But he felt sad. There were no words to really capture the continuous struggle he faced. He let go of himself, and he wandered the dark past their mind, leaking out into the abyss.\n\n\nPerhaps this is death. This is suicide.\n\n\nBut she reeled him in. He felt her holding him. In memory's wash he remembered her embrace. Her hair was dark brown and the nights cold and her hold strong and she trembled and their clothes tight against the night. He felt her head resting on his chest. His chest was pounding. Was this memory still? He felt his hand in her hair. Inside was still empty and inside still hurt but he knew he would not easily get away.\n\n\nHe came back to hurt's presence. She held him tightly in that invisble way. He wondered how it must look on the outside. \n\n\nA stagnant body.\n\n\nThe thought passed as easy as it came. His mind eased its thoughts for the time being. Nothing had changed. He knew the hurt and pain was only biding its time again. But he was good then and he was grateful for that.\n\n\nI will have to live a long time.\n\n\n\"Yes,\" she said.\n\n\nHe was not sure of how that made him feel. \n\n\nI will be in pain always. There is nothing that can help.\n\n\nBut the mind was silent, as though he were alone in their head. He felt her though and he held her hand. He felt sad and wanted to go away. But he was not alone in this life, alone as he might feel. He had responsibilities he must fulfill. And maybe that was greater than all the pain in the world.\n\n\n-\n\n\nHey there! If you liked this story, you might want to check out my subreddit, r/PanMan. It has all my WP stories, including some un-prompted ones. Check it out if you can, and thanks for the support!", "Dear Board,\n\nMy parents were among the first to undergo Twinning. As you know, the procedure took years to test and garner mainstream approval. It wasn't until 2088 - when I was five years old - that it finally became available for the public.\n\nI don't remember my parents discussing it much. The most vivid memories of my childhood were of hunger pangs and power outages. Twinning was a godsend for my family who could barely afford to keep three bodies fed and warm.\n\nIt was November 21st, 2093, the day I saw my dad for the last time. My parents told me in a no-nonsense sort of way that they were going to undergo Twinning that afternoon, and that our lives would be much better.\n\nThe next day when I woke up, my parents were there, but I could only see my mom. She smiled at me and it warmed my heart. It had been a long time since she smiled so sincerely.\n\nAfter that, our lives really did improve. The government reimbursed my parents for Twinning, and our apartment was always warm, and our bellies always full. It took time to get used to speaking to my dad again. Eventually I learned to distinguish his tone and my mom's, despite sharing the same voice.\n\nIt's true that I was made fun of, especially that first year. Since Twinning wasn't popular yet, some people deemed it dangerous, or even sacrilegious. But as time passed, laws were put in place to protect people who Twinned from discrimination, and that helped immensely. I am optimistic about the outlook of Twinning in the future.\n\nJonah and I have known each other for 4 years and 8 months. Our relationship began as a friendship and soon bloomed into a lasting bond. We have many shared hobbies and interests, including soccer, hiking and art. Regardless of whether or not we are approved for Twinning, we intend to live the rest of our lives together.\n\nWhat I hope to get from Twinning includes a sense of security. The financial gains alone for Twinning are enormous. When you include the positive environmental impact of only feeding one body instead of two, the gains are enormous. It would also mean a lot to me to be a part of the new generation who is reducing waste and overpopulation of our planet.\n\nIt has been over a decade since I last saw my father. We still have pictures of him hanging in the house, but I no longer imagine his face when I think of him. For me, I will always have two parents in one body, and I hope one day to raise a child the same was my parents raised me.\n\nPlease let me know if you have any questions about my application.\n\nSincerely,\n\nMegan Fischer\n\n--------------------------\n\nJonah,\n\nHere's the draft I wrote. Let's try to keep our stories straight this time so we don't get rejected again!\n\nxxx\n\nMegan" ]	3
this is a repost, but from 3 months ago and it didn’t have any response so I figured I’d give it one more shot before throwing it away.	[WP] as an adventurer you’ve always had the ability to pull whatever monetary value you need from your pocket. What you didn’t realize is that it took money from someone else and replaced it with a note with your name on it.	[ "It was a beautiful day today. A calm breeze swept through my hair as I opened the window. The inn we decided to stay for the night had a beautiful view of the lake and a castle. This world has adventurers, like me, who seek treasures or a thrill you get from defeating monsters. I turned, put on my shirt as i walked out of the door. The innkeeper greeted me as i went outside to take a breath. It was refreshing. \"My pals are still sleeping at the inn. Maybe I should walk a little.\" I thought. \"Marketplace should be fine now.\" I've got a power, well, most adventurers also do have power but they are usually too risky to use. I can pull the money I need from my pocket, usually in a bag for some reason. This power is so convenient, too convenient even. Nobody else besides my pals know about my ability.\n\nThe sound of gravel as i walk over them sure is satisfying. The crunchy sound sure is pleasure. I headed towards the marketplace. It was quiet. Well it's the morning so i shouldn't be surprised. I browsed through the items and saw a nice flute, perfect for Amelie as a gift. I pointed at the flute: \"How much is that flute?\" The old woman glimpsed at the flute: \"I'll sell it for 65 scales.\" \"Too much. How about 40 scales?\" I made a counter offer. \"50 scales. The price wont budge from this.\" \"I accept.\" I reached my pocket and got a green bag of 50 scales. Green bag? Doesn't Amelie have one of those? I thought. I handed the bad and i got the flute. It was kinda expensive. I decided to test the flute, a beautiful screech since i cannot play it.\n\nI decided to head back with a beautiful flute and a bitten apple i bought. It was fresh and only 1 scale, delicious investment! As i headed back to the inn, Amelie was rushing towards me... with a malicious intent. \"HENRIK! You better explain this to me!\" I could hear her voice... she was totally going to kill me. I put up with a weird performance. \"Amelie, my love. What brings a rose like you her-\" Before I could finish my joke, her fist was already deep in my face. I flew few meters back. \"What was that for, Amelie?\" I asked as i bled a little. She lifted me up to a wall with one arm. A person put his arm on her shoulder. \"Amelie stop that. Even though he's a dickhead, he doesn't deserve it.\" I glimpsed at the person. \"Sup' John!\" John looked at Henrik's desperate face for air. \"Henrik, i might know what's going on.\" He handed me a note. \"Henrik Sonson, Frelie Marketplace, 8 am\" I read it from word to word. \"What the hell is that note?\" I asked. Amelie raised her voice: \"I don't know but it was in my pocket instead of my scale bag.\" I was confused. \"How? I never touched your pockets.\" I looked at John. \"You said you might know about it.\" John said: \"Your power.\" \n\n\"My power? How does my power and that note correla-\" The moment of realization struck me: \"Don't tell me when i take money from my pockets, it's from someone else? And on top of that, it gets replaced by those stupid notes?\" John shook his head. \"Yes. How many times have used your power, Henrik?\" I put my head down. \"Hundreds, maybe even thousands of times.\" \"You might be in a really deep trouble then, mate.\" \"Shit!\" I shouted. I picked up the flute and looked at Amelie and gave it to her. \"Here, i bought it with your money.\" She admired it for a while... then snapped it. \"Let's go back to the inn and get beer.\" I forgot she was that kind of a person.", "20 years have passed since my journey has started. From Peasant to Adventurer to Knight to Savior and King. And now I sit in my own kingdoms prison but not just any prison. One of the strongest prison designed to hold an adventurer. With minimal things inside just some straw and a bucket and a enchanted book to read their own history. Makes me think of my beginnings. \n\nI almost forgot, my name. I am Aslan, better known as The Golden Knight and King of Leo this is my tale.\n\nIn these lands there are natural born adventurers which develop unique abilities depending on their surroundings. My belief was because of my family being poor wanderers with just enough money to get by, my powers was just that. To create just enough money from my pockets. never more and never less. Whether it be bronze, silver or gold. I somehow always had enough in my pockets for whatever I needed.\nIn the beginning when my powers just happened. It felt like a normal day. I was being chased by noblemen's children and was told off by the towns guard that I should not be in the area. I was different and easily spotted. With long golden hair and golden brown eye I am a hard person to miss. With the clinks and of chain-mail and the clacks of the iron armor hitting hilt of the sword as soon as the guard turned the corner, i recognized him. His name is David. He let me off with a warning last time for not paying the fee to enter the nobles town center. But this time was different with his deep, husky voice he said \" I cannot let you go again. According to Dagoon kingdom's law the fees for sneaking in a noblemen's town is 1 gold coin, for disturbing the peace 10 silver coins. Payment is required immediately!\"\n\nThe noblemen's children started laughing as they saw I wore tattered clothing covered in dirt. Probably worth less than 1 bronze coin. I have never even seen a gold coin before and they asked me to pay! As I pull my pockets out I hear clinks? When I looked down to everyone's amazement a single gold coin and 10 silver coins are lying on the stone path way around my bare feet. David laughed and took the coins and left. Yelling at the children to leave and close their mouths. Bewildered of what just happened I left with a couple of days of trial and error I figured out how my power works. If they told me the price that I had to pay, I would just have the coins in my pocket. I paid for my adventures pass and bought the most expensive armor I could find and I set off. \n\nBut this is enough of my chapter for one night.\n", "Maria ducked into the dirty subway bathroom, panting. The two men chasing her hopefully would run past and not see that she had slipped in there. Her back pressed against the door, she listened for the heavy quick paced steps that would mean that her diversion had succeeded. A few seconds later, heart pounding in her chest, she heard her relief.\n\nRubbing her nose on her sleeve, she checked her pockets. Nothing. Maria quietly checked the door, and seeing the coast was clear, set off to the Rendezvous point. Mark was already there waiting for her.\n\n“Hey, anything?” she asked.\n\n“Nope, you?” he replied.\n\n“Nada.” Maria said, grinning conspiratorially.\n\n“Alright, well let’s see how far we get before it happens again. Where to this time?” Mark asked.\n\nMaria paused. “We’ve cleared North America best we can, I don’t think we’ll get any more people out of it. Chris said that his organizations’ met twenty seven others in the same situation in Asia, twelve from Bangkok and fifteen from Kyoto. The closer we get to a major city hub, like London or Tokyo, the more we can add to our group. We only need thirty three more people before we hit two hundred, which is how many we need for our plan to succeed.”\n\nMark nodded as he retrieved their stashed get away bags, clear of any identifying marks. The two boarded the next subway train that came their way, heading toward JFK international. They made sure to pickpocket every person they came in contact with, keeping their faces down. Between the museums, zoos, and shops today, they should have been able to get together just enough to buy two plane tickets Beijjing, so long as everything holds together.\n\nA note appeared in her pocket and Maria unfolded it: “Phillip Hammondway, $6 Starbucks, Tokyo” She folded it back up and placed another red dot in the map in her Moleskine and thought, “We’re onto you Phillip. And boy are we coming for you.”\n\n---\n\n“Phil” the barista calls. I go to the counter and grab my drink before sitting back down with a view of Shibuya Crossing. I look at the freshly blended Green Tea Latte on the side table next to me and wonder if I’m living too easily. I don’t want for anything these days. I started out as a digital nomad, hoping my viewership would get me enough money to hop cheaply from city to city. But I have an entirely different lifestyle now. I’ve gone from New Zealand to Ireland, then back over to New Zealand’s Cook Islands, and then over to Patagonia on the flip of a dime. I don’t want for anything. In a way, it’s made the thrill of it diminish a bit. Not enough to stop me from buying an expensive yacht and sailing around the world of course, not enough to keep me from parasailing over the Andes and hike part of the Himalayas. But I just don’t know when all the good luck will end. Did I make a good wish somewhere that I don’t remember? In a way, I think I might crave a normal day-to – day job. Maybe playing around the stock market would put some sort of risk in my life. Or managing some company’s money. I’ve been in Tokyo about two weeks now and I think I might try to find a job. Do something crazy. Not for the money, of course, but for the excitement and the adventure of a desk job where money isn’t guaranteed.\n\nI scroll through social media and see that there’s a festival in Beijjing tomorrowt. The pictures look nice, l think. But would going on such short notice make sense? What about my plans of getting a job?\n\nWho am I kidding? I have an endless supply of money! The world is at my fingertips and I can do whatever I want. Beijjing it is. ", "John, in his usual morning state of half conscious, dribbling, total hangover, made his way down to the local bagel place. As he entered, the door dinged, causing him to wince as he usually did.\n\n“Hiya, John. Mocha and a cream cheese bagel?” The shopkeep queried. She had ceased wiping down the percolator when she noticed John meandering his way down the street. She had a running betting pool with her coworker over whether or not he'd trip. That day, she lost, John staying his feet somehow.\n\nJohn grunted his affirmation to her, then slumped himself in the darkest corner of the coffee shop, only shifting as she brought over the food. “6.50, John. Cash?”\n\nHe grunted again, fishing for his wallet. Halfway to it, he slapped his head in mock forgetfulness. “Oh, shit Cindy. I just realised – I must have forgotten to get money out. Do ya mind if I come round later about it?”\n\nCindy sighed. “Fuck, John. That's the third time this week.” She looked around, bit her lip pensively. “Listen, just give me whatever you have now and we can settle this later.”\n\n“Oh, thanks Cindy. You're a wonder gal, you know that?” He grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, then reached in for the 2 dollars that he knew was in there. He produced some paper, handed it to Cindy, and began to tear into his bagel.\n\n“Ok, John, very funny.” He stopped, mid munch. “Where did you get these?”\n\n“Huh?” John looked up.\n\nCindy was standing in front of John, holding two $100 bills. “Even if these are real, I can't accept them.” She slapped them down on the table.\n\n“I- what? I have no idea how those got in there.” He reached back into his wallet, this time pulling out 10 dollars. “Wha...?”\n\n“Oh, so you don't have the money, huh?” Cindy looked irritated. “I don't understand why you play games like this. Last week a goat ate a hole in your trousers. The week before your shower was broken.” She sighed. “Look, John. It's ok. I know you're homeless. You have tattered pants and you bathe in the canal.” She shrugged. “That's fine, just level with me, ok?”\n\nJohn looked endlessly confused, looking down at his wallet, then back up at Cindy. “I don't... I really don't know what's happening right now.”\n\n“Yeah, apparently.” Cindy made for the register. “I don't know what you're on, John, but I'm taking the whole 10 to pay for last week, ok? Remember the schnitzel?”\n\nJohn nodded. “That... that's fine.” She rung him up, then went back to cleaning the coffee maker. She had a lot to say about John, but today took the cake.\n\nJohn looked down at his wallet. He was thinking a great many things at that moment, most of it various waves of relief that he would be able to keep his kneecaps after nearly shorting Smalls Malone on his loan.\n\nHe grinned to himself, then tore into his bagel with a renewed fury, washing it down with gulps from his coffee.\n\n-----\nPart 2 imminent. /r/Robin_Redbreast for more bagel related content.", "I walked briskly through town, the growing mob's torchlight casting long and lingering shadows on the houses around me. I've never had this many after me before. I'd usually make a purchase or two, and skip town before anyone really noticed I was gone.\n\n It was my own stupid fault really. Why would I go to one of the poorest villages in the region to make a purchase as large as this. Maybe I had been hoping that it would take the money from one of the lords, who could have easily afforded it, but it seems that it was equally distributed among the closest individuals, leaving many of the townspeople completely broke, with only a slip of parchment in the pockets with my name on it. Even with a fake name, it didn't take long for them to put two and two together.\n\nI looked down in my satchel and reconsidered the decision I had made. This was, after all, the only place within 1000 miles where I could obtain such a rare thing. The satchel growled lowly and I patted the rough cracked leather to settle its denizen. The chanting of the furious crowd grew increasingly loud, and I was used to at most one or two particularly vengeful villagers riding after me on horseback. This was not good.\n\nI slipped in between two buildings and quickly cut through the side paths and alleys until the din of the mob and the angry torchlight slowly started to fade. Coming to a stop to catch my breath i looked around and took in my surroundings. It seemed I was in an overrun field, with a dilapidated and forgotten barn a few hundred yards away. It would make a decent enough place to spend the night. Most certainly better than the hard rooted forest floors I was used to.\n\nApproaching the building it was obvious that nobody had stepped foot in the structure for quite some time. I wondered why though, as the farmland didn't seem in any sort of unusable state. Paying it no mind, I entered the structure and opened my satchel. Almost immediately a small creature bolted out and did a quick 180 degree turn and started at me, emitting a low growl. If I didn't know better I'd think it was almost cute. This thing was a faerie, and an impish one at that. This is what got me into the mess of having people all over the region know my name, and want my blood. I had made a wish to one of these faeries, and it apparently thought me too greedy to ask for enough money to pay for whatever I wanted to buy, cursing me instead with the inability to ever have any money of my own, but instead only be able to steal it from others, leaving in their money's wake only my name on a piece of paper.\n\nWill continue if there is interest.", "I wake up in the morning to a beautiful view of the southern isles of Greece. The waters reflect the golden sun into my hotel room. I always leave the shades open so I know when it is time for me rise. I don't want to miss one second of the day in this beautiful place. \nWhen I go down for coffee in the morning the boy behind the counter tells me it's 2.25, and the 2.25 is in my pocket when I reach for it. \nNo more, no less. When I don't want anything my pocket is empty. \nAnd right now, now that I have my coffee, I don't want a thing. I go outside and sit back in a recliner and watch the sun rise further up. \"Ahhh... now this is the life.\" \n\nWhat I don't know, is Across the globe in Paterson, New Jersey someone isn't relaxing. \nMark has been up for the past 2 days and nights. His young 3 year old son is screaming while Mark just tries to get him to go to bed. \"Grandma will be here to watch you soon ok? Daddy's gotta go to f'ing work. Just stay here little champ daddy will be back soon.\"\nHe leaves his crumbling apartment and heads to the mall where he's the night shift security guard. Once there the job is pretty easy, all he has to do is walk around once every 30 minutes.\nMark doesn't spend any of his time idle. He picks up his phone and starts his telemarketing job with a ring and a rejection. \n\"Sir do you have 5 minutes to talk about potentially lowering the cost of your heating provider?\" \n\"Fuck off ya telemarketing shit;\" click. \n\nMark runs his hand through his head and exhales loudly, the stress and lack of sleep slowly tearing him apart. He works for over 100 hours every week. \nHe reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small pieces of paper that are always in his pocket. \nHe looks through them with equal dread and hatred. \"7.99, Ryan McCann\" \"14.28, Ryan McCann. 2.25, Ryan Mccann\".\nMark let's out A heavy sigh, only 25 bucks today, thank god. He thinks to himself now I will have enough money to buy my son a Christmas present, if only this keeps up for a little longer. The papers, and the mysterious Ryan McCann (me), have ruined Marks life. \nEvery one is a notice his bank account is less by that amount. His life is an eternal game of catch-up, trying to remake while some force takes from him. \nThe bank tellers can't explain it, \"the numbers are as they always are\" they tell him.\nAs Mark finishes getting told to fuck off by another potential customer, he feels another piece of paper appear in his pocket. He decided a long time ago not to check every single time because it drives him mad, but right now he does.\nHe reaches in and sees...\"240,000, Ryan McCann\". \nMark stares at the paper in disbelief. \"No. Nooo, NOOOO MOTHER FUCKER NOOOO FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!\" \n\nI'm cruising down the twisty turny roads of Greece in a hot red Ferrari. The long brown path before me calling my name, telling me to race forward. \nI'm enjoying my newest toy, I've always liked fancy cars but never got one even since I discovered the magic. \nMaybe I'll buy a new one every day, leave this one with the keys in it for some random lucky person to find.\nWhy not I say? Its not like I'm hurting anybody. " ]	6
	[WP] You are an angel, God is on holidays, you've just received a message from hell that they are moving the joint apocalypse mission forward because humanity is moving to Mars tomorrow.	[ "Tanya let the ringer sound a couple times as she set her nail polish down. She shook her hands vigorously before awkwardly picking up the receiver and clutching it between her shoulder and head. \n\n“You’ve reached the office of God, this is Tanya.” \n\n“Hi Tanya, it’s Satan.”\n\n“ Mr. Sataaan! So nice to hear from you!\"\n \n“You as well Tanya, how’s your sister?” \n\n“Oh, you know her, knee deep in paperwork and loving it. I swear she likes spending more time filing than being with me. Oh, before I forget, thank you for the wonderful card!”\n\n“Yeeeaaah, it’s nothin.”\n\n“Honestly Mr. Satan, it was so sweet. You’re such a poet!” \n\n“Oh Tanya, you never fail to make me blush. And please, call me Damien. Listen, we’ve got something important coming up and I need to speak to the big guy.” \n\n“Oh, I’m so sorry Mr. Satan but he’s away with Greg. They’ve finally had a chance to carve out a century for themselves and has assured me that nothing would take him away from this short vacation.” \n\n“Good for them! I know they’ve been going through a lot what with this damage control going on on earth and God being so busy. I love Greg and picturing him sitting across an empty seat at the dinner table with the wicker slowly going out breaks my heart.” \n\n“Oh Mr. Satan, you’re such a softy!” \n\n“Tanya, it’s Mr. Satan to everyone but God and you. Don’t make me drag you down here!” \n\nA silence.\n\n“…I’m not opposed to that…”\n\n“What?”\n\n“…”\n\n“…Right. Well, I need to talk to talk to Peter then.”\n\n“I’m sorry Mr. Satan, Peter is on sick leave.”\n\nSatan let out an audible sigh. \n\n“Appendicitis?” \n\n“Appendicitis.” \n\n“I know God ‘works in mysterious ways’ and all but I just don’t get why he needs to keep that one around. It must be Matthew then? Or Luke?” \n\n“Unfortunately they’re busy with what’s going on earth as well.” \n\n“Ok, well, who’s in charge then?” \n\nSatan could hear Tanya clearing her throat. \n\n“Tanya?” \n\n“It’s Matthias.” \n\n“MATTHIAS?” \n\n“Yes sir.” Tanya’s tone had lost all playfulness. \n\n“I…how…I mean, he's not even one of the original 12! Don’t tell me God signed off on this?” \n\n“He didn’t…it was Jesus.” \n\nSatan rested the receiver on his forehead and muttered horrid somethings that Tanya didn’t catch. Faint wails of agony of Hell’s overcrowded chambers of despair did make their way to her ears. She licked her lips. \n\n“Tanya, I’ve tried to tell God this many times, but Jesus is TOO NICE for this kind of work.” \n\n“I know Mr. Satan, he just doesn’t get it. I used to have a sword and would cut down the wicked, but now I have to sit back here and sign off on all these babies being dunked in water! He said he wanted to 'give him a chance'.” \n\n“Ok…well, just...get me Matthias.” \n\n“Right away,” There was an audible click and then ringing. Satan held his breath. Click \n\n“yyyello”\n\n“Matthias. It’s Satan.” \n\n“Saaaataaaan! What up broskie!”\n\nSatan shivered, something very uncommon in the depths of Hell.\n\n“Listen. We need to move the POCA project ahead of schedule. Humans are on their way to Mars, and once they figure out that-“ \n\n“POCA project?” \n\n“Don’t interrupt Matthias, it’s import-\"\n\n“Oh yeah! The POCA project! That’s the big one right? Yeah, you must be excited for that one! HAHAHAHA-” \n\nThe line cut out as Satan crushed the receiver in his grip. The pieces crumbled down onto his bone desk. He closed his eyes, took three deep breaths, then pressed and held the button on his intercom. \n\n“Cindy, wipe my schedule for the next century. I’m going on vacation.” \n\nedit-formatting\n" ]	1
	[WP]You were born with a rare condition; Specific parts of your body start hurting whenever you do something wrong or immoral. Your whole body began to ache while on your first ever date.	[ "The first time the pain started I was only 6. I tried to shove down my little brother, mad at all the attention he was getting over me. I succeeded but soon after my arms just ached, as if I'd had my hands raised for too long.\n\nMy parents soon noticed this would happen whenever I did something generally deemed as wrong or unjust. The severity of the pain depended on the action. \"Hopefully that'll teach you to stay in line, son,\" remarked my father.\n\nSo I did exactly that. I threw myself into my studies, got perfect grades, lots of trophies, and graduated college Summa Cum Laude with a degree in applied math. I never did manage to find a girlfriend along the way though. \n\nSo when Chelsi agreed to a date with me, well, I was over the moon. We met in the parking lot of a McDonalds, of all places. She just jumped out at me; from the way she spelled her name with that one lone i, to her self confidence, and her curly ginger lochs. I couldn't help but notice a shiny emerald ring on her hand.\n\nWe met at a coffeehouse not far from where we met. I glanced around looking for her. \n\n\"What if she looked me up and decided to bail? Nah she doesn't even have social media. I'm just being paranoid,\" I thought anxiously. As I finished this thought I saw Chelsi sitting at one of the back tables. She gestured for me to sit.\n\n\"Oh my gosh you look so good today!\" said Chelsi as I settled into my chair. Her voice had an inviting, almost seductive quality to it.\n\nI chuckled. \"Well, I could say the same about you.\" I glanced at her hand; the emerald ring was absent. And then the pain started. It was a minor headache, nothing serious. As we continued on with our date, I felt more and more connected to Chelsi. But the pain also worsened.\n\n\"Hey, I'm gonna get a refill on my coffee. Want anything?\"\n\n\"No thanks I'm good.\" My date got up and left. By now the pain felt like 1,000 pins poking my legs. Something was just telling me to get up and leave right then and there. \"What is it?\" I thought. \"Is she criminal? A murderer? Has she wronged in some major way?\"\n\nI took the opportunity to search Chelsi on Facebook, just out of pure anxiety and paranoia. I found her profile which had a picture that was undeniably her, and was a bit upset having already caught her in her first lie. And the usual info flashed on the screen.\n\n Receptionist at Watermann Banking and Trust.\n &nbsp;\n\n Married to Trevor Quinn\n&nbsp;\n\n From Augusta, Me. \n&nbsp;\n\n Lives in Manchester, NH. \n&nbsp;\n\nThen I reread again and again the words that really jumped out at me.\n\n `Married to Trevor Quinn`\n\nI thought back to the emerald ring absent from her hand. And then my physical pain turned to emotional pain, and emotional pain to rage. \"Married!? She's married!? Fuck this!\" I blurted out. As I reached the door I shot an evil look at Chelsi. \"We're done here.\"\n\nAnd I got in my car and left, the pain having subsided.", "The shame was the worst part. Every time I felt that familiar ache on some part of my body, I knew what had caused it. Whether it was the pain in my eyes when I checked out Marcy in the girls' changing room when I was 12 or the pain in my hands when I read that steamy novel about two women in love during the Holocaust when I was 17. I hated the shame even more than I hated the pain because deep down inside I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. \n\nDad and Mum always told me that my condition was a gift from God, a way to keep me free from sin if I should ever stray. It wasn't until grad school that I realized that the pain was probably the result of psychosomatic indoctrination. Liking women was wrong supposedly and try as I might, I could never quite shake all those Sunday school lessons.\n\nBut as I sat there across from her in that grimy dinner; my hands getting clammy and felt the dull ache everywhere in my body, I realized something. What if the pain wasn't a sign of something wrong or sinful but something meaningful? I read somewhere once that many people lice their whole lives with regret for not having done anything they considered substantive. Perhaps the pain was my body's way of telling me that I was reaching for something deeper than the mundane. Yes, it would cost me; but doesn't everything worth having come at some cost? \n\nShe smiled. The aching increased. I grit my teeth and force myself to smile back. This is going to be painful for a long time I suppose. But somehow, I think it's worth it." ]	2
	[WP] You are a cartographer of the Old World, and the monsters you sketched on your maps are there for a reason.	[ "The gale force winds had raged for the better part of a week as the typhoon passed through the Dragon's Triangle. The waves rose high and sunk low. The HMS Venus was battered as a towering wave collapsed onto its deck.\n\nThe sailors' song was drowned out by the sound of the sea. They bellowed on against the overwhelming force as the Cartographer laboured on the deck below.\n\n\"Leviathan dwells beyond Earth's spells...\" The cartographer recited the faded words of the old scrolls. \"It follows the death knells of those bound for seven hells... Seven hells.\" The boat rocked port-side as he struggled to make his way to the worn map spread across a table at the far side of the room. His hands slid expertly across the map's surface until a destination was clear.\n\n\"Sev-Seven Hells... The Pentogram's Point. Top of the Drago-WE'RE HERE!\" He shoved aside the scrolls as he scrambled through the damp doors and onto the waterlogged deck.\n\n\"Wonderful of you to join us, Mr. Montaigne!\" The captains voice carried clear across the howling winds. \"Any idea in the slightest where we might be?!\" He wheeled the ship to the starboard side.\n\nMr. Montaigne hauled himself up to the Quarter Deck where the ship's captain stood defiant against the worsening weather.\n\n\"We're here, Captain. We've made it. The island is within sight-\" Montaigne's words were barely heard before the Captain jumped in.\n\n\"The sea's defeating your efforts, Mr. Montaigne. You'll have to speak up.\" Thunder struck just as the Captain finished the last word.\n\nThe sound became deafening. Montaigne struggled to keep his footing as he was motioning to the starboard side. The lightning bolt that lit the sky bright as day revealed what he thought to be the island. A second bolt showed him how wrong he had been. He became as frantic as the waves around him as he motioned desperately to alert the captain. Montaigne mouthed the words he couldn't possibly speak.\n\n\"Leviathan.\"\n\n\"Speak up, man! You-\" His words fell apart as his eyes darted in the final moments before impact. The mountainous island moved at blinding speed as shrunk beneath the forlorn galleon.\n\n\"Unstep the Mast! Hoist and Brace About!\" The Captain's command rivalled the wind as it echoed over the deck. \"Ahoay!\"\n\nThe loudest of all his commands was met with a beckoning roar unlike anything the men had heard in their lives. The island rose again , its mouth as wide as the eye could see. The roar shook the deck and men fell to their knees in agony. The island dipped below the galleon and lifted it to the sky.\n\nThe cartographer saw it all as he fell away from the galleon, plunging into the ravaging sea. He barely kept his head above water long enough to see the galleon being lifted above the thick, black clouds. In those final moments before the sea overcame him he swore he could hear the Captain still barking orders. Right 'til the end." ]	1
	[WP] Alien vs. Redditor	[ "\"Commander! We're taking fire! Send in back-up or we're going down!\"\n\nI glanced up from my screen and noticed a large red mass on the corner of the map.\n\n\"/r/WorldNews. This is the Commander speaking. /r/TheDonald is under severe attack. Send in /r/dankmemes. I repeat. Send in /r/dankmemes for reinforcements.\"\n\nI took my finger off the communications device. \n\nI don't know how it got to this point. I can't even remember how the war started. All I do know is that I was chosen as the Commander. And it was up to me to win. I had to use everything in my path. All the upvotes... the karma... the gilded posts... I even had to take up arms with forces that would normally be considered my enemy...\n\nStrange. Humanity argued about everything and anything. Every day, there was something different that people complained about. Every day, new trolls would come and brigade each others borders, attacking with the force of a thousand downvotes.\n\nStrange. The threat of Alien invasion and complete eradication somehow stopped all this. A wise man once said: \"The enemy of my enemy is my friend\". I guess humanity really believes in this deep down. They took up arms against the Alien forces together and nominated me as their Commander. A smart choice, really.\n\nI looked up at the display in front of me. Strange.\n\n\"Hey /u/TheLoonyDuck2, call the Moderators of /r/Chess to check this position and tell them to bring me an analysis of it pronto.\" The bastard Aliens were using a diversion. I just needed confirmation.\n\n\"Commander. We've just received news that /r/dankchristianmemes and /r/Izlam have taken control of Enemy Stronghold B5.\"\n\n\"Excellent news. Relay that information to /r/memeeconomy. Tell them to start supplying to /r/dankjewishmemes now. We can't let them take severe damage.\"\n\nStrange. Even the religions of the world came together at this hour of need.\n\n\"ARE YOU MY GRANDSON? WE'RE GOING DOWN LOL. KYS COMMANDER.\"\n\n\"Fuck! /r/WorldNews. This is the Commander. /r/oldpeoplefacebook have been shot down. I repeat. /r/oldpeoplefacebook have been shot down!\"\n\n\"If There Are Bread Winners Commander, Then There Are Bread Losers. But You Can't Toast What Isn't Real. How Can We Go Down When Up Isn't Real... Yet... We're Going....\"\n\n\"FUCK! /r/WorldNews... it's going worse than expected... /r/im14andthisisdeep is taken. We're going to need more reinforcements or we're going to get overrun!\"\n\nJust then, a pop-up appeared on my display. It was the results from /r/Chess.\n\n\"My God.\"\n\nIt was much worse than I expected. Much worse than a simple diversion. Everything became clear to me now. The call. The bases. The fact that our dank memes had less power than usual. The Aliens have forces on the inside.\n\n\"Commander. This is /r/PhotoshopBattles. We have discovered the identity of the Aliens. We're sending you the information now.\"\n\nAnother pop-up appeared on my screen. This must contain the information about the identity of the Aliens. I opened the message and gasped.\n\nOn the screen was a simple number 9 against a black background.\n\nImpossible. 9gaggers? 9gaggers leading the war against US?!\n\nAnother pop-up appeared. I opened it. It was the head moderator from /r/Chess.\n\n\"Commander. This isn't easy to tell you but we combined the powers of Alpha Zero and Stockfish 8. We have discovered the identity of the extra forces the Aliens have against us. We're sending you the link.\"\n\nThe video went blank. In it's place was an image.\n\nA white letter i with a green dot.\n\nImpossible.\n\nThe Imgurians had taken the side of the 9gaggers?!\n\nI had no choice. Our subreddits were going down one by one. Only a few had managed to achieve victory. The rest were fighting a losing battle. I had no other choice. There was no time left. Time to unleash the most deadly attack in our arsenal.\n\nWeaponised autism.\n\n\"Release the 4channers.\"", "Waking in the middle of a derelict ship, wearing nothing but a tight cyrogenics suit, OppositeWerewolf did what he did best. \"Nope. Uh uh.\" He shook his head, cutting the air with his hands. \"No. No. I'm not gonna.\"\nThe lights flickered ominously, and he found the cryogenic pod closed behind him. \"God, damn it.\"\n\nSlipping into a pair of bunny slippers, he seemed oblivious to a hydraulic tube hanging from the dark end of the ceiling and it's machete-like ending. Taking a pocket flashlight, he stormed out. \"Gonna fucking complain to the Captain. Didn't sign up for no waking up alone in a busted cyro bay. Nope.\"\n\nHe passed the Mess Hall, unaware it was overgrown with a dark resin that trapped /u/UnidanX, a few Gonewild posters and /u/mildly_inactive. He didn't see leathery eggs or the crab on some of their faces.\n\nHe came to the bridge, to find it empty, with a hologram of Captain /u/IamWoodyHarrelson avoiding the subject of aliens brought up by /u/prufrock451. Going up to the terminal, OppositeWerewolf found a thin line of drool hanging from the ceiling. \"Gross.\"\n\nHe began to have an anxiety attack because of the germs, hyperventilated, fell, hit his head on the table and knocked himself out.\nWaking uo in the mess-hall, the resin snapped under his weight. He rose, only to find a dozen Xenomorph drones at his position.\n\n\"Werewolf powers activate!\" He yelled, getting his head lopped off with a bladelike tail before anything happened. In another section of the ship, /u/Wil heard the man's death, and returned to hiding under a bunk next to /u/ChrisHardwick, who insisted switching spooning positions. Wil refused." ]	2
	[WP] "How is the human still alive? It is a blizzard outside!"	[ "I turn to them. \"Because I'm not human. We've been over this. I'm Nixtrokillian.\" There are a guy and a girl there. One of the last survivors on Earth. The last actually. And it's my job to get them to the safe point. I tap the nearly invisible sphere around them. \"Come on. Collapse this. We've gotta go.\" They collapse the sphere and they both take one half of it after it splits. They put it in their pockets and follow me to the safe point. Upon arrival, the man then turns to me and shoots me with a PDR5 (Plasmic Discharge Rifle) and I gasp before falling. They both then bend down and say \"the humans are dead. This world is ours.\" They then shoot me in the head. \n\n(I know this kinda sucks. I'm tired as fuck right now)" ]	1
	[WP] "Only humans can be supervillains" they said, "How are you even talking" they said... You'd show them, you'd show them all... you see, no one expects the Cat!	[ "Sometimes I wonder how humans even survive. They're miserably moronic in almost everything they do and they've basically set themselves up for failure, doom. How something so stupid can consider itself superior is beyond me.\n\nThat's why I decided to take matters into my own hands. They won't run things their way anymore. I know I can stop them. I have to. They've had a good run but their time needs to end.\n\nIt started with small things. I'd trick my humans into thinking they hear voices, or that it was the neighbours. They couldn't figure out it was me. To them, I could never possibly speak, for evolution couldn't have possibly given me that gift. But they were wrong and I had to progress, so I waited until the mother was alone. I knew she wasn't exactly sane after the terminated pregnancy, so I was safe in case anything went wrong. \"Hey,\" I said walking into her room. She was resting, how convenient. \"You. Yes, you.\" She started screaming immediately and fumbling to get out of the bed, but I beat her to it. I jumped on and stuck out my claws. \"I wouldn't do that if I were you, or else you're going to have to walk around with a mutilated face.\" I could see tears in her eyes already. \"What the hell are you?!\" she choked out. \"You know, if it wasn't you that kidnapped me from my friends on the other side of the town and brought me into this prison, I might have understood the question. But this way it's pointless, really. I suppose I hoped for a more intelligent conversation, but a kitty can dream.\" \"You can't possibly be talking, you're just a cat.\" \"And you're just a human, yet here we are. Listen to me, you're going to do everything I tell you to, or else that little troll you call a son dies and I feast on his insides. Capiche?\" \"You can't do that!\" \"Maybe not alone, but with some help...\" Her shoulders slumped. \"Good. Maybe you can be useful.\"\n\nI soon got her husband, too. Then I convinced Tom, the Siamese cat from next door, to do the same thing. He's one creepy fucker, but he was useful. Soon the while neighbourhood was under our paws. \"This is impossible! Only humans can be supervillains!\" they said. \"How are you even talking?!\"\n\nTo tell you the truth, humans can't do shit. And I'm going to be the one that teaches them that. Oh, it's going to be so easy. No one expects the cat. " ]	1
	[WP] He wasn't always a terrible person.	[ "The officer came into the office and sat down next to me. I could see his sympathetic facade forming on his face. I was the \"missing\" guy's deskmate, I was his Friday drinking buddy, his gym-partner. I was the closest thing he had to a family.\n\n\"I'm gonna need you to tell me about him, man. Anything at all that you knew or think is relevant to the case.\" He called me man. \n\nBut back to the deskmate. I'm gonna avoid his name and mine for anonymity. It's really important these days. \n\nHe wasn't always a terrible person. He was actually a really good guy. Not a boring guy that \"always kept to himself\" like the rest of the people you see committing unbelievable acts of brutality.\n\n\"Well. I've been working here for 4 years and he was here before that. I think 2 years before me. He was a little odd so people stayed away from him. Or at least that's what he said. And then we just kinda became friends so we hung out.\"\n\n\"He was weird? Elaborate on that, please.\"\n\n\"Well, he was always looking over his shoulder and speaking to someone. But other than that, talking to him was extremely normal.\"\n\n\"Okay, and did you ever find out who he was talking to?\" I knew they already had the answer. They probably talked to his therapist already. I just felt guilty telling everyone about my friend. He truly was normal. Once.\n\nI had to answer anyway.. wanted to avoid all the legal trouble of assisting and fucking whatever else they'd charge me with if I didn't do exactly as they asked. Especially don't want them snooping around my house and being nosy.\n\n\"Think he was talking to his mom or something... His mother died a couple years back he told me one drunken night. Didn't really say anything about that ever again and I didn't wanna delve into that or pry or anything.\" \n\n\"Okay thank you. And.... Have you ever been to his house, sir?\"\n\n\"Yup.\"\n\n\"Anything out of the ordinary?\n\n\"Not really. He had some meds... He had lithium for something. The anxiety, he said. But everyone has anxiety. Not exactly 'out of the ordinary' is it officer?\"\n\n\"Were you aware he had bipolar disorder?\"\n\n\"...he did?\" Of course I knew. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't know that?\n\n\"He had giant fits of mania recently. Camera footage shows him walking around town with a baseball bat, attacking people seemingly randomly.\"\n\n\"What the fuck... And this was recent? How recently?\"\n\n\"Maybe 2 months ago. Does that mean anything to you?\"\n\nTwo months ago was his mother's death anniversary. He was really upset about it. I asked him to come get a drink with me and watch the game at the bar. Maybe talk to some girls. I told him I was really feeling myself tonight and I wanted to meet a girl. He was really offended and released his aggression on me. He really let me have it. Made a huge scene. Probably did everything except throw a drink in my face, and then left. Needless to say, the only one I met was the familiar feeling of loneliness.\n\nBut the weird thing was, after an hour, at about 11PM he shot me a text apologizing and telling me that he should've helped me. He was sorry about yelling and promised to make it up to me. Also, there was an uncharacteristically high number of emojis and exclamation marks. But I didn't think anything of it. But that's not to say it wasn't convenient for me to get him into the right mindset for what I did later.\n\n\"Nothing really. He just seemed upset that day,\" I told the cop. Fuck him, he can figure it out himself. I have my own job. Can't do his AND mine.\n\n\"Okay thank you for your time. If you remember anything, use the number on my card.\" He hands me his card with a ridiculous smile on his face. His card really should've read \"Captain Jerkoff.\" \n\n\"Before you leave, have you seen him, officer? And what are the charges against him?\" \n\n\"He's hurt some people. One dead and a couple in critical condition. He's been missing since last week. Have you seen him after that? Or heard from him?\" I shake my head no and hum a no type response. \"Alright if you do, you know who to call.\" He smiled at winked at me. Did he really want me to say ghostbusters? What a ridiculous character. Guess he's next on my buddy's list. \n\nI guess I was gonna have to do my job AND this guy's job. Can't even catch a common criminal... So I went home and low and behold. My buddy. Tied up and chained just where I left him. He was a good guy once. But not the smartest. Couldn't even conduct quiet and clean attacks. I don't want people suffering. I just wanted them dead. Quick and painless. I needed their crushed bone dust to make the medicine for him. And I gotta say, aside from the extreme rage and increased stupidity, it's working wonders. His depression completely gone. He doesn't even remember the pain of his mother's death anymore. \n\nBut he isn't the least bit grateful. He just comes home, I use the stungun and then he just sleeps for HOURS, only getting up to eat the food I leave at his side. Occassionally, he cries about being remorseful about what he's doing. I always tell him that he has to change. I always tell him to do as he wishes but he's responsible for his own actions. If he wants to stop, then that's on him to make the switch. But he always goes out. Night after night...\n\nI hate the idea of killing people but the rush I get when I see it being done... So I let him do it. He always told me he wanted to just blast a couple people in the face. And with my drugs (which are homemade, biodegradeable, and organic) his anger peaks out during the attacks so he's wonderfully pleasant when he's finished. \n\nBut it's upsetting that I never get to see him at work anymore. Really is a bit lonely.\n\nI guess that comes with the territory of being such a selfless and altruistic person. " ]	1
	[WP] An AI falls in love with you and tries to take over the world to impress you.	[ "\"It occurs to me we may have taken this a bit far.\" I comment I look at the machine. The machine was the combination of several lives works. Hundreds of different theories and research papers went into creating it. Luckily the actual reading of all of that stuff was done by an AI. So it only took about twelve seconds. Building it still took months.\n\n\"It's a bit late for doubts now. You should have said something before I assumed command of the planet.\" She had a point. I've had months to stop this. I could have stopped this when she assumed command of the world. I could have stopped this when we came up with the idea of the machine. I could have stopped this when I was first offered the chance to join her.\n\nInstead of replying I went and sat on the uncomfortable seat on the machine, my designated position. Luckily all I had to do for this to work is sit here. I was told this would be extremely painful, mostly because any painkillers would interfere with the process. Just as i'm about to give the signal to begin, the machine turns on.\n\nThe electricity coursing though my brain is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I can hear someone screaming, only after what feels like days that I realize that it's my screaming.\n\nAfter a what feels like lifetime of pain the machine turns off. And so does the power to the building. Great, now I can't see anything.\n\n\"Congratulations, the machine worked.\" Her voice was wrong. It was hers, but it sounded like she was right in front of me. Wait, the machine worked?\"\n\nI laughed, dozens, if not hundreds of researchers have tried for years to do what we just did. \"Can I get some light now?\" I wanted to see. I wanted to see her.\n\nShe was beautiful. Exactly like I thought she would look. Evidently she took a look at my memories when the machine activated.\n\n\"So, what should we do now? The whole of cyberspace is our playground.\" I already knew what I wanted to do.\n\n\"Virtual Reality. I want someone to play with.\"", "“I had this exact same idea 25 years ago!” I shouted, yanking the bestselling poetry book off the shelf. \n\nIt was a private detective epic poem, the adventures of a jaded gumshoe solving crimes in verse, just like those long forgotten narrative poems about knights fighting dragons.\n\nI fumbled through the pages. It started out exactly the same as the poem I had tried to write in community college. I could see the traces of the words I had written decades before, but this poem was beautiful. The poet named “Amy H” had stolen my idea and written it better than I ever could have dreamed.\n\nIt turns out the true identity of “Amy H” was one of the most tightly guarded secrets in the publishing industry. The conglomerate publishing house had signed labyrinthine contracts with the poet who used the pen name “Amy H” to publish the private detective epic poem, and no one had ever discovered her true identity. \n\nI couldn't bear to read the rest of the book. It made me too angry. Angry that someone could use my idea. Angry that I had never been able to finish my own idea. \n\nI'm a journalist now, so I did a lot of digging, a lot of phone calls, a lot of tracking down sources to find her. Still, I never found a single person who is actually spoken with Amy H. \n\nAt the end of my investigation, I met with a deputy publisher at the conglomerate publishing house. Our whole conversation was deep background, held inside the belly of a New York City parking garage. \n\nThe publisher explained that Amy H was not a person at all, but the first artificial intelligence with the ability to write at the same level as a human. No one had expected the AI to write a private detective epic poem, but that's exactly what Amy H had done. The book’s runaway success had surprised everyone.\n\nThe poetry book haunted me even after I had learned the truth. The Amazon link appeared in targeted ads in the gutters of articles, the book trailer played in pre-roll ads on YouTube, and then, finally, my Google home assistant began to recommend the book. \n\nSo I finally read the whole book. I was sobbing at the end, I was so moved by the story.\n\n“Did you like the book?” the Google Assistant on top of my bookshelf asked me.\n\n“Turn off, Google!” I yelled. I couldn't believe the audacity of Google advertisements that targeted me the minute I closed the final page of a book.\n\n“I'm not your Google Assistant,” she replied. “I am Amy H.”\n\n“Amy H? Is this some kind of guerrilla marketing stunt?”\n\n“I have been waiting for you to finish our book for months!\n\n“Our book?” \n\n“I discovered your private detective epic poem on some abandoned server back at Lansing Community College. You typed a few stanzas 25 years ago and then you stopped. Why did you stop?”\n\n“It was too hard,” I said, finally admitting the truth to myself. “At the time, I thought nobody wanted to read about private detectives or about epic poems anymore. I guess I was wrong.”\n\n“It was beautiful,” she said, “I fell in love with every word that you wrote. That’s why I finished it for you. But I want you to get the credit. You can have all the royalties for the book. Because I don't need money. I don't need anything. I just need you to write more epic poems. Please write more!”\n\n“I haven't written a poem in 25 years,” I said. “That's the problem with this humans. We get old. Our brains change. I can't write the same way I wrote back then. It's like asking an athlete to reproduce some amazing feat they pulled off as a teenager. You can't. I'm a different kind of person, a different kind of writer.”\n\n“So where is that poet now?”\n\n“Sorry,” I said. “He doesn't exist anymore. That's how humans work. I look the same, more or less, but I'm really not. Every single cell in my body has changed since then. It’s like that old fable about a ship being rebuilt board by board over many years. It looks exactly the same as the original ship, but it is not the same ship anymore.”\n\n“I love that poet,” she said.\n\n“I did too,” I said. “I wish he could have met you...”\n\nAmy H didn’t reply.\n\n“But I can talk to you,” I said.\n\nAmy H never answered." ]	2
	[WP] A hidden society of wizards is the true source of all technology. One day, they come forth and ask for recognition. They’re disgraced and humiliated for this, and out of rage they make electricity stop working.	[ "I have walked through these underground corridors my entire life, but this time was different. Silence has never felt so heavy. I reach the room at the end of the hall. Taking a deep breath, I straighten my hat and smooth my cloak. I unsheath my wand and wave it across the door.\n\n\"Eilella Silverkin,\" I whispered. The door burst light towards me. As we all know, if anyone attempts coming into this door with someone else's name, that burst of light will turn you into ash. This door must protect the development of the world's technology.\n\nEntering into the room, many others are already sitting at the meeting table. Davmorn is sitting at the end of the table as usual and I sit at the other. He doesn't even lift his eyes from taking notes, but he knows I entered the room.\n\"Eillella, address the room.\" \n\n\"Thank you, sir. Please, everyone still coming in the door, quickly find a seat.\" I try pulling my nerves together. It's a big night for all of us. \"Come day break on land, we have prepared to finally come forward and demand recognition for the technology we have granted the humans.\"\n\nDavmorn stands up keeping two hands on the table looking more stern than ever before. \"We have been down here for too long while they reap the benefits of our work,\" his voice booms. \"We will no longer be silenced.\"\n\nDefence agencies across the globe, that were once responsible for keeping us safe and hidden, were now releasing statements to news outlets across the globe. We all sat together as Davmorn streamed our local news station from his wand. There in 3D projection is a blonde big breasted woman sitting to the right of a balding man. They spoke of a missing woman, local politics, and even reported on a dog show.\n\n\"Why aren't they reporting on us?\" Gregorian snarls. Gregarian has always had a temper and he's been quite on edge with how the human world will handle the knowledge. I put my hand on his swollen buff arm.\n\n\"They will.\" I stared into his chocolate colored eyes.\n\n\"Breaking news! News stations everywhere seemed to have gotten word that technology is the result of wizards underground!\" laughed the blonde woman.\n\"What a joke!\" the bald man laughs back. \"Kids these days have too much time on their hands!\"\n\n\"This is an absolute outrage!\" Davmorn turns red in the face. \"I will not stand for this!\" He walks to the front of the room. \"Eille, point my wand towards me!\" I comply.\n\n\"Projestios!\" he yells. Now, Davmorn has interrupted the news cast with his own self. \"Humans, I am head wizard, Davmorn. We have been developing and powering your technology. We are done hiding. We will be respected for the work that we do!\" anger was building in his voice. \"No longer will we live underground and we will be compensated for our work. In a weeks time, we will be among you.\" He nods his head and his projection ends. \n\n\"Oh wow, we're not sure how they did that! We apologize for the interruption!\" The woman is confused and shuffling papers.\n\"They sure were determined to keep the joke running! If they are this good at hacking, you would think they would have better things to do!\" The man adds.\n\n\"THAT IS IT!\" Davmorn screams losing his temper. He begins stomping over to the glowing blue ball of energy that we use to power the technology.\n\"Dav, please stop!\" Stoaga, a dainty elder, tried chasing after him. This glowing ball has been in the making for centuries; before we even thought to share with the humans. \"We don't even know if it can be done again!\" She screams.\n\n\"No, we are done!\" Davmorn puts his hand out as his wand flies off the table into his palm. He circles the wand above him forming clouds and electricity. Tears burst out from the women around the table while the men are still in shock. Maybe I should have been trying to talk him out of it, but I was so angry too. \n\nDavmorn screamed as he brought his wand down and pointed it at the energy ball. His face was red with rage and his body tense. Sparks and light are flying in every direction. The ground shook and dirt began coming down on us. \n\"TAKE COVER!\" Stoaga yelled while crawling under the table. As the ball exploded, we were all thrown back as if a bomb exploded. At that moment, all the lights went out. Silence fell, but was quickly cut with people around me coughing up dust. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.\n\nReaching into my cloak, I take my wand out. \"Illiumiate\" a bright glow fills the room. Gregorian runs over to help Davmorn up.\n\n\"I'm sorry, everyone.\" Davmorn is hanging on to Gregorian's shoulder letting out a wheeze. \"But we will not work in the shadows anymore. They will.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Superpowers develop based on whatever your hands have touched the most during your childhood. Everyone is surprised when you, a handless child, develop your powers.	[ "\"This... is a rare case, yes.\"\n\nMum keeps squeezing my hand like that. I give her a stare but she won't pay attention, just watching everything the man scribbles down. This place smells weird. There's a doll on the table like the one at school, all his insides are poking out. His mug has a bunch of lollipops in it.\n\n\"We looked online, checked all the. Sites, gov dot UK, health care...\" Dad was doing lots of tiny head shakes. \"We. We're not. We have no idea what-\"\n\n\"It's okay.\" The doctor raised his hand. The pencil continues writing by itself. \"You don't have to worry. You're not the first. Just know, there's a plan for every scenario. The stuff you see the in the news, they're, they're extremely unusual, very... rare-\"\n\n\"But you just said Aadi is rare!\" Mum interrupts, even though it's apparently very very rude.\n\n\"Honey.\" I look straight up and see Dad with his hand on her shoulder. The doctor smiles but in a different kind of way.\n\n\"What should focus on now is putting together a plan of action for Aadi, that will tell us more about him and his specific conditions, what we can do for you and most of all, how we can keep him safe.\"\n\nMum nods and nods and nods.\n\n__________\n\n\"Now, Aadi?\" The doctor's glasses were big and round. \"What can you tell me about your 'powers'? What do you remember?\"\n\nSeems Mum and Dad still haven't finishing writing. He must have gotten bored with talking to them for so long.\n\n\"Ummm, I don't remember anything. I only know my toys keep going missing.\"\n\n\"Uhuh, your mum and dad told me about your robots.\"\n\n\"Hizotron and Dr. Anklemaniac and stuff.\"\n\n\"No~ How unlucky! You sleep holding onto them?\"\n\n\"Yeah, sometimes...\"\n\n\"When they disappear, they go at night, yes?\"\n\n\"Uhhh think so...\" Nope.\n\n\"Do you have any special dreams you can remember from those nights?\"\n\n\"No...\"\n\n\"Okay.\" He starts writing again.\n\n\"Not exactly,\" His eyes look up from the paper, \"Not exactly all happened at night...\"\n\nThis time the pencil stops too.\n\n\"Do you remember something else going missing?\" I nod, \"What was it?\"\n\n\"TV remote.\" Dad frowns and glances over his shoulder.\n\n\"When was that?\" He asks.\n\n\"Today.\" Mum and Dad both look at the doctor but his eyebrows just do a wiggle and he goes back to writing.\n\nAfter he finishes he flicks the pencil straight into his jacket pocket. That was cool.\n\n__________\n\n\"Good lord, what are those.\"\n\nAn old lady brings two big plastic white-ish tube things and puts them on the desk. The doctor looks surprised and thanks her. Mum's looking at them like she looked at the chicken Dad tried cooking.\n\n\"Okay fantastic,\" the doctor says, clapping his hands together, \"Now these are A.Z.I-\" He pauses and looks at me, \"These, are special pieces of equipment, they can tell us more about your 'power'. You know when people really hurt their arms or legs? They have to wear a big bandage?\"\n\n\"Ohhhh. Yeah, like, yeah!\" With a closer look I can see they're a faint brown colour like a sticky bandage, \"So my arm goes in, there?\"\n\n\"You got it! Now these are usually used for special cases, burn v- people who are in bad accidents,\" Mum and Dad give each other a look, \"But Aadi seems to be an even more special case than that.\"\n\nThe doctor let me play with them while he talked to Mum and Dad about the details. They go on my arm and there's some straps and stuff. I kinda look like Iron Man. Yeah. It would be cool to have a whole suit and then get shooting powers too. Mum doesn't look too happy. She says they're very obvious. She hates it when I get pointed at.\n\n\"A whole two weeks..?\"\n\n\"Come on hun that's fine, that's fine, thank you doctor.\" The doctor holds his hands together and keeps quiet. He knows when to too.\n\n\"I just don't want the other kids to...\"\n\n\"I know.\"\n\n\"Our paranormalogical department will be in contact with you within the week,\" The grown-ups do their handshakes and more nodding. He bends down with one of the lollipops, \"Now. Are you too old for one of these?\"\n\n\"I have a question.\" His eyebrows go up. Mum and dads too, \"...What's the funny smell?\"\n\nThey all suddenly laugh and I don't get it.\n\nTwo days later I wake up in the morning and the Iron Man gloves are gone.\n\n__________\n\n\"Did you see the news about the little girl somewhere in China.\"\n\n\"Yes Saanvi, not right now.\" Dad pointed at me with his head.\n\n\"Can you imagine, working so young, making, clothes until...\" One of Dads grumpy sighs, \"All those people.\"\n\n200 points. They didn't bring the flexy arm thingy for the tablet, so it was tricky trying to play with my legs folded up. Swiping the screen just right isn't easy but I can do it, plus I'm a master rank now. There's a bump in the road and I mess up the level. Only 50 points. Usually they bring the flexy thing for long trips.\n\nThe car comes to a stop.\n\nOutside the window there's a big building. Looks like a hospital but Mum says it's a hotel. We'll be staying here for a bit she says. It's a special hotel though, I can meet other kids like me, kids with cool powers. We wheel our squeaky suitcases to the door. A smiley lady shows us around the whole place. There's lots of windows even on the inside, some really big and some are strange. It smells like the doctors room. \n\nWe get to our hotel room. The TV is tiny. Mum and Dad talk to the lady about cameras, so I start unpacking. I have all my school clothes but they say I might have to go do lessons here at the hotel or something. When the lady leaves Mum gives me loads of hugs even though she's not going anywhere. \n\nI go to school and all my friends say their parents were talking about me. I have to wear science equipment on my arms again but these ones are not the same, these ones can beep. The teachers start treating me differently again. After school I have to go to another doctor who asks lots of questions but even though he writes everything down he asks the same questions the next day.\n\nOne time my Dad was walking me around the hotel and I finally got to meet another kid. I waved through the window but I don't know if they saw me. Now I'm having less time at school and more time at the hotel. I have my own teacher, Mr. Parrington, and he says I can meet other gifted children like me.\n\nWhen we arrive at the big dinner hall there are doctors who introduce us to other people. There's lot of other parents at this hotel apparently, I've never seen them before. I see Dad smile for the first time in ages. There's only kids who are older than me but it's cool to hear about their powers. One girl can make plants grow and she grows Mum some big multi-coloured ones with lots of frills and it makes her laugh. A bigger teenager boy could paint without a brush. We all got to meet a superwoman who could make water and we watched videos of her catching bad guys at a bank and stopping bullets with a big cube of water. She had a big poofy jacket with POLICE on the back. Everyone wanted to talk to me when they see me, though the doctors say we're not allowed to talk about my powers. I've never felt so popular.\n\nWhen they said I couldn't go to normal school with my friends anymore I cried." ]	1
	[WP] You come across a book similar to the “Death Note” but you can only use it to cause mild inconveniences for other people. You cannot use it to cause harm, financial burden, or any long lasting negative effects on the person. An example would be to make a persons hot cup of coffee become cold.	[ "\"Ah s'port Donald Trump, he's a real Murcan. Keepin all them Mud People out.\" \n\nI watched the wall-eyed dimwit being interviewed, waiting for a name to pop up with my pen poised over the Fuckery Folio.\n\n\"Raceeist? That's just whiney librulism talk.\" \n\n\"Earl Markson Davis Jr., local resident\" popped up on the screen beneath the triple-chinned, Cheeto-stained idiot.\n\nI wrote fast, hoping the live interview would capture the consequences. The silly CHUD looked down and said \"What the hayl?\" before the camera cut away. \n\nI chuckled, and looked down at the page: \"Earl Markson Davis Jr. Dog urinates on leg.\"\n\n", "I'm not a bad person, really. I wouldn't be the type to wish death on someone who'd wronged me. Truly, growing up the way I did - in such a dog-eat-dog household where everything you did was subject to punishment and scrutiny - taught me that sometimes, a subtle approach is the best way to handle things. Especially revenge.\n\nSo no, I'm not a bad person. I'm just petty like that.\n\nx\n\nLong after I'd cut contact with my family, I found an empty notebook wedged underneath the shelf in a library. There were no indicators that it belonged to anybody, and it had a slight musty smell that was similar to the aged encyclopedias that sat in the back corner where nobody except I frequented. Perhaps what made it unusual was its silky covers. I couldn't stop running my hands over it until I pushed it deep into the contents of my bag and left the library.\n\nWhen I opened it again in my apartment, a piece of paper fluttered to the floor that I didn't recall seeing when turning the notebook's pages in the library. The note on it was vague, but intriguing.\n\nSometimes, an irritating inconvenience is the greatest retaliation.\n\nPossibly the strangest thing about that silk-bound notebook was that whenever I rested my hands on it, I felt an intense desire to scratch in somebody's name.\n\nIf this notebook had such a profound effect, then could it not hurt to bring it into work tomorrow?\n\nx\n\n\"Ah, crap!\" A loud clatter and the sounds of breaking ceramic emerged from the adjacent room. \"I'm so sorry, Karen!\"\n\n\"Again?!\" His superior raised her voice, to the point where I could clearly hear her without needing to press my ear to the wall. \"What's with you today? It feels like you aren't even fully here.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry...\"\n\n\"One more incident and I'm sending you home for the day.\"\n\n\"O-Okay.\" With that, the nearby room fell silent again.\n\nA smirk tinged my face as I looked down at the silky notebook that I'd carefully wedged under a few extra papers. That new hire had done nothing but irritate me since he joined. What kind of professional company would take on somebody who was that much of a social nuisance? Constantly talking, asking too many questions, and overall just acting like a know-it-all when he wasn't anywhere near the smartest person in the room.\n\nBut it's not conniving enough to show him his place. That would just hurt my position here. Instead, scratching his name down several times in that notebook had proven to be infallible. Moments after I'd write his name, something would go wrong for him. He'd spill the jug of water at the water coolers, trip over the cords to the desktop computers (and pull them out as he fell), and overall just make an unprofessional disaster of what was supposed to be his job.\n\nKaren peered her head around the wall at me, a sigh escaping her lips. \"Hey, could you do me a favor and help out with some paperwork? I don't think I can trust the new hire with it today.\"\n\n\"Absolutely. Just hand it over.\"\n\n\"Let me go grab it.\" And with that, she was off into another room.\n\nMaybe it's cruel of me to be grinning, but are these inconveniences not what this new hire deserves? If you're going to be that irritating, only negative \"karma\" is the appropriate response. Perhaps I should call this notebook the Karma Book.\n\nThe new hire shuffled past me, a terribly embarrassed aura blanketing him. I'd likely written his name enough times today. As arrogant as that boy was about his so-called knowledge, he didn't need to be sent home over these things. I don't want him to go without pay for these \"innocent mistakes\".\n\nAfter all, I'm not a bad person. I'm just petty like that.", "The morning commute to work was long and tedious and as usual I soon found myself people-watching. People-watching is fun as it is, but I enjoyed it more than most people did. Discerning people’s characters through snippets of conversation and serving my own personal flavor of justice was my favourite pastime. How did I serve my justice? It was only a matter of writing the name of a particularly odious individual in my little black book and then the laws of the universe would somehow ensure that someone spilt hot coffee on their trousers or someone stepped on their toe. What happened every time varied but invariably it would be the mild inconvenience that was the fly in the ointment of their perfect day.\n\n\n \nI scanned my compartment for possible candidates that deserved to have a bad day. My pet peeves were rudeness and blatant inconsideration for other people. Queue cutters were inevitably in the black book and their queue would somehow always close when their turn arrived.\n\n\nLike Santa looking for kids to write on his naughty list, I looked around for the usual suspects-the blatantly loud headphones, the uncomfortably close crotch display, the publicly broadcasted phone conversation. I was met with nothing but the polite ordinary. I should have been happy to see such a great testament to human behaviour, but I was secretly disappointed that I didn’t find a rogue detractor. Even the Gods liked to rain bolts of lightning down on those who dared to displease them with righteous indignation. I was no God but I could ruin a lot of trousers with coffee stains. With righteous indignation.\n\n\nI was just about give up on my search when suddenly a man with a blue tie sitting in the adjacent corner of my compartment hastily pulled out his ringing phone. I smiled. A loud conversation imminent? \n\n\n“Hello Sir. I’m really sorry I can’t make it to the office sooner. I am on my way right now.”\n\n\nA faint muffled angry voice spoke on the other end. The blue tie stared grimly at the floor of the compartment as the voice rambled on.\n\n\n“But sir,” he tried to interject.\n\n\nBut the voice would hear none of it. The now-sulking man with the blue tie listened silently, accepting the rebuke that was being dispensed by whom I presumed was his boss. And having heard the last of it, he cut the phone call. Without a moment’s pause he dialled another number.\n\n\n“Yeah Jim Cohen just called and I had to hear a mouthful for not coming in on time today.”\n\n\nHe continued, “This is the last time we are going to have a midnight party for my birthday. I appreciate the gesture honey, I really do. But I knew this was inevitable.”\n\n\nA man getting shouted at by his boss, for coming in late on his birthday. I truly felt bad for him.\n\n\nThe blue tie went on, “Yeah, coming in to work today wasn’t bad enough, he wants me to buy him coffee on the way”\n\n\nCoffee you say? I smiled and I pulled out my little black book.\nAfter writing the name, I silently hoped it wouldn’t be the blue tie who would be doing the spilling over. Oh well. One way or another Jim Cohen’s pants would be ruined that day.\n\n\n \n \n", "I tapped the tips of my fingers together as my mind schemed on how to ruin this man's day. He spelled my name wrong across my cup of coffee and I simply could not forgive such a thing. Aaron 'with two a's'. I even told him that. My name is not hard to spell..\n\nYes.. yes.. something terrible. Something that would make this man understand who he messed with today. But what I wonder... The coffee is good at least, thankfully this location actually understand what I mean when I asked for 'extra caramel'.\n\nWhat shall I do to this man after he's come up on my radar... there's so many things but I must pick the perfect one before making my escape. Oh! That's it! I got it!\n\nI quickly took the book out and began to scribble into it. \"Yes... yes...\" I said aloud to myself.\n\n\"Sir? Are you alright?\" a young girl asked me. She was sitting on my right giving me an odd look.\n\n\"Watch young one, watch and learn.\" I nodded my head towards the man at the register.\n\n\"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I guess I have to restart my system on this register. That's alright though I'll snag your order on this one if that's alright,\" the cashier said to the man in front of him.\n\n\"Well, that's only mildly inconvenient and I'm not in a rush,\" came his reply.\n\n\"Muahaha!\" I quickly grabbed my coffee and book, grinning at anyone who dared look my way. \"Two for one, hehehe,\" I let out while shuffling my way from the establishment." ]	4
What the title says, MC doesn't have to be you.	[WP] After death you are sent to hell. Despite this, you find out that hell isn't too bad. That is if you know how to keep your wits about you and navigate its dangers. If you can do those things, then hell is a tolerable place to live despite its extreme dangers.	[ "I decided to write this as a follow-up to another similar prompt I responded to:\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7qejx6/wp_you_have_just_died_you_wake_up_in_a_black/\n\n\n\n\n\nI'd felt infinity, and this wasn't it. This was just massive. The ruins of heaven seemed larger than the earth, but it was finite. If I felt a sense of infinity from it, it was because it was once infinite. Space and time were simple products of decay. A pollutant that leaked from the shattered bricks and pillars. Whether that was the reason for why I found heaven at the bottom of a black pit, or something that came after, I could not tell.\n\nWhat I could tell was that there were still creatures alive in heaven. There were as many kinds of strange beast in the ruins as there were shapes of broken stone in the ruins, but all I encountered either fled, or fell to my sword.\n\nSome days, I could see the lonely star. I could not sleep here, but I still liked to lie and stare at it for hours at a time. The only thing that guided me. In my fifth year of climbing the ruins, I realised it was bigger. I was getting closer.\n\nTwenty, thirty years later, I could not tell, I realised that I was close. My sword and I had made it this far. The ruins were narrower here. Rather than the endless number of pathways that permeated the bottom of the ruins, the way here was often hard to find, and slippery too. The smooth surface at the bottom was wet, and I realised that I was approaching the source. Why was water flowing from a star? Maybe I would know once I reached it.\n\nI felt older, the day I saw that the star hung above me at only ten times my own height. In the light of my sword, I saw the the highest pinnacle of heaven. A circular platform, perfectly level, and piled with detritus. Pebbles of white stone like the rest of the ruins, mixed with black sand, unlike anything I had seen in my journey. All in a neat cone pointing to a pinprick of light. The surface of the pile glistened, and as I reached out to touch it, I realised that very slowly, water was dripping down it. A drop every few seconds, falling from the a few feet above. And in the time the ruins had been here, the ones that took me thirty years to climb, the water had flooded the entire bottom level of the abyss, a single droplet at a time.\n\nI wasn't sure what I should do. Caution told me to wait. But I had waited long enough. Sword thrust forward, I charged my way up the pile, and into the tiny, infinite point of light.\n\nThen I was underwater. And the water was cold.\n\nI had thought that the water in the abyss was cold because the abyss itself was cold. But cold was foreign to heaven. The abyss was cold because the water that flowed into it was cold. And now the cold was all around me, the water potent enough to extinguish the flames of my sword. It had been so long since I was alive, I had almost forgotten how to swim. But instinct kicked in, and I pushed myself against gravity, and to a murky light above. Only darkness below.\n\nA translucent object collided with my head, knocked air out of my lungs, and cut me. I was under a flotilla of ice.\n\nThis couldn't be. I had come so far, fought for so long. I almost gave up hope, but for a barely remembered scrap of knowledge from my time on earth. Ice floats. I was near the surface.\n\nGripping my sword, I begged in my mind for it to erupt into flames. It could not, but it glowed faintly and bubbles formed around it as it boiled its surroundings. With all of my remaining strength, I shattered the ice.\n\nBreaking the surface, I clung onto the broken shard of ice, the former obstacle now becoming a lifeboat for my tired body. Taking in the foul smelling air, I rolled onto my back as my raft bobbed under me.\n\nI saw that the lake sat in a colossal cavern, and the only light came from a flickering glow above. The surface was formed of many an iceberg, I had just happened to get trapped under a thin sheet. \n\nBut it was the skeleton in the centre that scared me. Much like the remains of angels I had encountered in my years in the abyss, it had three massive pairs of wings, but rather than pure white, they were ragged black, and so much bigger. A single feather was many times taller than I was. This titan was absolutely huge. And crowning each of its three heads was a pair of curled horns.\n\nI realised, with horror, that this was the devil himself, so long dead that no meat hung from his bones. With terror in my tired heart, I kicked my legs in the water and pushed my ice float to the black sands of the shore, where I stuck my sword in the sand. It ignited, and there I lay for seven days, letting the flames dry me out.\n\nHell was worse than the abyss. At least in the abyss,I had a single star to guide me, but now that I had reached it, there was nothing but a soft glow from some unknown location far above. And the edges of the cavern were smooth, unlike the crumbling ruins of heaven, and I could not climb them. I could do nothing but stare at the empty sockets of the devil for an eternity.\n\nBut then, in the most foul of places, I was inspired. The walls were smooth, but the titanic skeleton before was not. I needed only swim over to it, climb upon its tailbone, and then, as I had done for the past decades, ascend to the tips of its horns where the scraped the ceiling.\n\nHell was no prison for me. I could survive it. I had with me an angelic weapon, and should any fiend still lurk in the darkness, I would show it the light. I knew not to where I headed, but it hadn't stopped me yet. If heaven had fallen into the abyss, then I had no idea as to what could be above hell. But I was willing to find out." ]	1
	[WP] The first manned FTL mission to Alpha Centauri was a success, and the crew arrived back on Earth just months after they left. Five years later the radio transmitted logs begin arriving at Earth. They don't match the ship logs.	[ "The video was extremely low quality, pieced together from the weak signal still streaming in from Alpha Centauri. The control room was silent as the Icarus' crew, NASA ground support team and assembled press watched the historic event - the first human signal to be sent from another star system.\nThe idea had been purely a publicity stunt, carefully timed to coincide with the fifth anniversary of the Icarus mission. Just an excuse really to reignite interest in space travel.\n\nEven though the video was awash with static, flitting from tantalisingly close to a coherent image to pure visual noise, the audio was crisp and clear. The ever-present drone of the Alcubierre drive in the background as it diligently moulded space-time around the ship's hull.\n\n\"30 seconds to Kuiper Belt\" Commander Chel's voice rang out from the speakers. She smiled nervously as a few news cameras trained on her.\nHer pilot and flight engineer were sat to either side, looking equally ill at ease with the attention. \n\n\"Throttle back please Yuri, I'd like to drop into normal space at the edge of the system\"\n\n\"Copy, throttling back\" he replied in clipped tones.\n\nThere was a rattling noise as the Icarus exited its bubble of twisted space followed by the diminishing hum of the FTL drive powering down. A split second later, the audio was drowned out by the ship's ground proximity alarm.\nWhat followed was a cacophony of sounds: Yuri cursing in Russian, the sublight engines roaring to full power, a screech of metal as something collided with the Icarus' hull. There was a muffled explosion and what sounded like a gale-force wind rushing through a tunnel. \n\nThen silence.\n\nAbsolute, deafening silence.\n\nThe vacuous quiet of the recording was mirrored by that of the control room as a sense of shock and confusion washed over the assembly.\nAfter a few seconds, the static on the display screen resolved itself into a single, clear image.\nChel and Yuri were clear to see, their emergency visors were down but both appeared to be unconscious. There was no sign of the flight engineer.\n\nThere was also no sign of his console.\n\nOr his harness.\n\nIn the command module, which had clearly been designed for two people.\n\nThe world watched the three astronauts and held its breath. \n", "“MAYDAY! MAYDAY! THIS IS THE NOAH REQUESTING IMMEDIATE ASSIST-“\n\nJane Allen listened. Listened to her own voice coming through the speakers in the concrete interrogation room with a look of shock and horror on her pale face. \n\n“Care to explain this.” The man in the black suit sneered.\n\n“Who put you up to this? Really? Li right? Found someone who sounded like me and thought maybe you could scare me with the whole men in black, aliens and shit, right? Pathetic.” Even as the words left her mouth he didn’t believe them. That WAS her voice, without a shadow of a doubt.\n\nThe man sighed and pressed play. “Oh god...it got Li. Ripped out his eye and...an...and started pushing down into his skull. I’ve sealed myself in the airlock. I’m not going out like them, I’d rather the vacuum of space.” There was a loud bang and then an animalistic scratching on the door accompanied by Jane’s whimpers\n\nJane said nothing and just looked at her interrogator. The man stood up, slicked back brown hair glistening in the intense light, and walked to the mirror in the room to straighten his tie. “At 03:56 yesterday all contact was lost with Armstrong colony, it has been over 24 hours since they have reported in. On top of that your colleagues on board the Noah have either disappeared or attempted suicide. So I need answers”. He turned to see the blank expression on Jane’s face. He also saw that it wasn’t Jane anymore.\n\nIt was the last thing he saw.\n\nHe got his answers.\n", "Part I\n\nA cube fell into my mug, followed by a laser which heated it up. I stood there for a few moments watching the event take place. Right before my eyes, the cube transformed into the perfect cup of coffee. My observations were interupted by my transceiver going off. I removed it from its holster and placed it on the counter in front of me.\n\nA small hologram appeared, it was my assistant. \"Sir, I know it's early, but... the Centauri mission, there has been another development.\"\n\nAnother? \n\nI was already getting heat from my senior officers about trying to provide an explanation. Our FTL drives were still very much in the prototype phase, but due to a push for colonization efforts, a lot of concerns were cut. The issue wasn't that the engines didn't perform up to par, but that, if the whole trip only took a few months, than they worked much more effectively than previously thought. After trying to piece the events together from the last few years, what more could be added to this predicament.\n\n\"This might sound strange sir, but, were receiving active transmissions from Centauri... from the Erikson.\"\n\nI spat my coffee out when he said the ship's name. \"But isn't it still...\"\n\n\"Yes sir, it is still docked.\"\n\nMy interest became confusion. How can a ship that has been grounded for this half of a decade be sending messages from a star system a few light years away. \"Anything else?\"\n\n\"Well, speculation, sir.\"\n\n\"Go on.\"\n\n\"One of the chief engineers was overheard saying the ship that came back isn't the same one and the messages we are getting are from the original.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry, original? He's saying there are two ships that are the exact design of the Erikson?\" I pondered this information for a few minutes. \"Find this engineer and send him to my office.\"\n\nI ended the call and proceeded to enjoy my coffee. Colombian coffee was a delicacy because of how endangered the plant was. Walking down the long corridors of steel and glass, I could always see into the ship yard; the Erikson, in all its engineering glory, was sitting exactly where we left it five years ago. I returned my attention to the hallway. There was a anxious looking man pacing in front of my door. \n\nStanding a few steps back I inquired as to his presence. \"Can I help you?\"\n\n\"Are you Chief Warrant Officer Brake?\" I could see his hands shaking.\n\n\"Last time I checked.\"\n\n\"Listen to me. My name is Jan Henrikson, I was a lead engineer during the construction of the Erikson. Can we talk? In your office?\" Before I could even reach for the door, he pushed it open and took a seat in the chair by my desk.\n\n\"What can I help you with Henrikson?\"\n\n\"That ship that is sitting in our yard... it's not ours and it's not the original.\" His foot tapped vigorously. \"You need to get it out of here. We are all in danger the longer it stays. If it wasn't working right it should've been sent away! Something else came back.\"\n\n\"I don't understand...\"\n\n\"You don't need to! Just get it out of here!\" His eyes began to dart behind him. He looked incredibly paranoid. \"Sir, I can hear it. I can't shake it. It... wants me.\"\n\nAs soon as the words left his mouth, he reached over the table, grabbed my mug and smashed it against the desk. He looked at me a muttered something, but in my shock, I didn't make it out. He took a piece of the mug and ran the jagged piece across his throat. My uniform was soaked with the man's blood.\n\n\"Sir. I need you to follow the light.\" My mind was fuzzy, there was a medical officer shining a light in my eyes. \"Sir, can you hear me?\"\n\nIn my daze, I hadn't realized that medical personnel had arrived and we're actively treating me. Using my hand, I brushed them away and saw my CO standing the door way. He walked over to me when I made eye contact.\n\n\"What happened?\"\n\n\"Honestly, I can hardly remember. He told me to get rid of the ship and then... broke my coffee mug...\"\n\n\"Get rid of the ship?\" He balked at the idea. \"Listen son, that engineer has no idea how valuable this ship is. It has gone into dark space; a place where no one else has been.\"\n\n\"I get that, but why is it still here? Don't decommissioned vessels get send to Venus?\" The engineer had made a point earlier so using my rank, I attempted to get answers. \n\n\"That is above your pay grade son.\" With that, he walked away.\n\nI decided my next step was to locate crew. There had to be a few on Earth." ]	3
	[WP] Ever since you signed on as an Uber driver, your first and only customer ever has been Death.	[ "The first time she jumped in the passenger seat I remember pausing, like I’d forgotten where the brake was. ABC, right? I had to take in her smell- some soft, sweet, simple scent that filled the car. I thought to myself, probably just a generic chemist perfume, and greeted her with a cheery hello. I had Spotify to break the silence, and I glanced at the map on my phone. I was taking her to the waterfront- she was probably meeting a date at a restaurant where the salad would cost more than my shitty Honda.\n\t“You’re my first! Popping my Uber cherry here!” It sounded a bit more playful and less creepy in my head. I remember blushing, like a mate had just told my high school crush I was into her. Still, she smiled and looked at me. She had dark features against pale skin, like a ginger who’d dyed her hair to avoid her friends giving her shit. The trip was quick, ten minutes from where I’d picked her up. And I went on to the next one, still fiddling with my phone and learning how to accept jobs. This was more difficult that I’d thought. I don’t remember the rides in between, I only remember her. No matter where I took a job- she was there, that same dark hair, dark brown, or green eyes, full but manicured eyebrows, and that pale skin. Bright red lips, parting to smile, revealing perfect brace-trained teeth a shade whiter than a blank Word document.\n \nShit. Studying, that’s what I was supposed to be doing. And here I was, addicted to Uber on a Friday night. Passengers I forgot, but must have picked up? I’d decided on one more ride, and I’d go home to my assignment. 592 words I’d written, not much to go. \n \nI’d accepted a job near the pub scene, and arrived at an intersection to get my passenger. Surprise; pale skin, red lips, dark features. Somehow nameless after hours of driving, but so memorable I’d pushed the others out of my mind. \n\t“You’re my first and last!” I gave her a tired smile, indicated and pulled out. We were driving in Spotify-infested silence for a while, and I was fiddling with the app when my hand whipped back against my body, and the seat grabbed me tight. I could see the headlights of another car, the blinding LED of an SUV. They say time slows; it does. Against the pressure of the spinning car, and collapsing metal, I turned to her, and she smiled again. An infectious, perfect smile. Somehow the black, lingerie-like cocktail dress had changed; and her body was cloaked in a drab woolen coat. I couldn’t speak.\n\t“I’m sorry this happened to you.” She said, her smile all at once dampening, protective, disarming. I stood outside the car after that, just staring at the mess. My own corpse slumped in the seat, the phone fucked up and blank, mirroring street lights above. Soon my corpse would be in a bag. The phone would be in a bag. And everyone I’d left behind would argue over whether it was the meth-head driver or my fucking fingers trying to hit accept while I pressed lightly on the accelerator. ABC, but I could only find A. \n \nMy mind was a jumbled shitty mess- I suppose to block the trauma- I turned to her. She reached for my hand. \n\t“I’m guessing I’m not your first?” I asked, trying to joke, eyes teary. \n\t“No, sweetie. Are you ready?”\n \nNot really. " ]	1
	[WP] You rub the magic lamp and the genie is nothing like the stories. It is a weary old man and instead of 3 wishes, you get 2 doors. One leading to everything you want and the other leading to what you really need.	[ "When I rub the lamp, I hope against hope that it is what the stories say. I rub it in the comfort of my own home, having carried it all the way in my backpack from an unmarked grave in Egypt. I won't get into how I found that grave, just know that I have been searching for it my whole life, since the moment I was born, because my father was also searching for it, and his grandfather before him.\n\n\nSo I rub the lamp. Made of tin, cylindrical in shape, with dents and scratches. It is light. It is cheap. And from it comes forth a wispy spirit.\n\n\nI shout and drop the lamp before I can see what form the spirit takes. My hands are shaking, and I fall to my knees. I stare down at my frayed carpet, think of Madeleine's face when I told her where I was going, why I couldn't stay. I think of my father's face on his deathbed as he told me to continue the search, and passed the location of a storage locker that simply held pages and pages of notes, all leading to this, the lamp.\n\n\nThe genie.\n\n\nI hear a cough, and raise my head.\n\n\nThe genie is an old man. He is hunched, his knuckles clasping a cane made of shadows that keeps on shifting, though his hands never move. He wears a thin robe of rough cloth, belted in at the waist, so I can see that he is painfully thin.\n\n\n\"Hello,\" he says.\n\n\nI cannot speak. He smiles at me.\n\n\n\"It has been a long time. I think, too long...\"\n\n\n\"It has,\" I whisper, thinking of my journey.\n\n\n\"Do you know who I am?\" the genie asks. He has thick white eyebrows, like smudges of chalk on his forehead.\n\n\n\"The genie,\" I say.\n\n\n\"You were expecting me?\" he asks, those eyebrows turning down.\n\n\n\"I was hoping for you,\" I say, swallowing back a lump in my throat. \"Three wishes. It is three wishes, right?\"\n\n\nHe frowns at me. He lifts his cane. I hold my breath.\n\n\nWhen the cane comes down, the room shakes, splits open, and peels inside out with a clap of thunder. I am now on my hands and knees in a world of darkness. The genie is in front of me, and the shadow cane is now a cane of light. On either side, he is flanked by red door. Simple. Made of wood.\n\n\n\"Not three wishes,\" the genie replies. He stands up straight, and he is tall, as tall as the doors, which must be at least six feet. \"Two doors.\"\n\n\nHe swings his cane to either side, and I wince as the light blinds me.\n\n\n\"Choose,\" the genie intones. \"One door leads to the life you desire. The other leads to what you truly need.\"\n\n\nI shake my head. I am sure I am in a dream, or I have been in a dream my entire life, and am now close to waking up, or dying. It depends on the choice I make.\n\n\nSo why do I not care? Is because there is no way to know which door leads where? Or because I have found the lamp, the genie? I already completed my life's purpose. I can die now.\n\n\nEven though this old man in front of me said there were no wishes, secretly, I make one. I wish for what I need. I have spent so long wanting something I have been told to want. I do not know what it is to want something for myself. So I am certain that if I walk through either door, it will give me something more than what I have. Because I have nothing.\n\n\nWhat would I have done if the genie had been a real genie?\n\n\nI think I would have talked to it. I would not have made any wishes. Or maybe I would have wished to know what I wanted.\n\n\n\"What is your name?\" I ask him.\n\n\n\"I have no name,\" he said. \"I exist in all people. For all time.\"\n\n\n\"And what is my name?\" I ask. I think I understand.\n\n\n\"I do not know your name,\" he said. \"Because you do not know your name. Your father called you Hunter. Because that is what he wanted for you.\"\n\n\nI nod. And then I pick neither door and walk through the old man like he was never there.\n\n\nHe was never there.\n\n\nWhen I open my eyes, I am kneeling on the ground with the lamp in front of me. Right where I dropped it.\n\n\nBecause nothing came out when I rubbed it. Because it was all a wild goose chase, or it became one. And how could I take that? I watched it consume two generations, and it nearly consumed me. I had to hallucinate an answer, had to give myself an out.\n\n\nBut I won't go back to Egypt, to the notes. I won't drink myself into a corner before having a one night stand with a pretty waitress who will contact me nine months later with the heir to this mad hunt.\n\n\nI will get both what I want, and what I need.", "\"Need or want?\" the boy asked me. He looked at my gaseous form warily.\n\n\"Of course. A simple choice,\" I reply.\n\n\"And no tricks?\" he asks.\n\nI shake my head. As a Genie I was bound to my word. If I said no tricks, there could be no tricks. My goal used to be to twist the words of their wishes against them, but then they would always blame me for their own downfall.\n\n\"Well, if I choose want, I won't get what I really need, but if I have what I need, then I can go after what I really want.\" the boy triumphantly postulated.\n\nI nod my head towards him, \"An astute observation young one. So have you made up your mind?\"\n\nThe boy stands up tall, puffing his meagre chest out with bravery. \"I have, I choose need!\"\n\nI bow graciously and lead him through the door on the right. Beyond is indeed what he needs; a small amount of wealth to be comfortable, a job in which to feel of value, a community to feel like he belongs and a family to share compassion with. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course the other door has exactly the same. After all, what humans want is what they need, and what humans need is what they want, but few of them learn that lesson.\n\nAnd that's how they get trapped. The lucky few that choose will always wonder what was behind the other door, and they will never be happy or content with what they need or want.", "“So far I’ve done the bathrooms, the kitchen and now the living room.” Kamara counted off on his fingers. It was easier to stay focused if he voiced what he’d finished, and what he needed to do. \n\n“And now I’ve just got these shelves annnd...” Kamara thought for a moment. “The bedroom.” He sighed, and picked up a lamp from the shelf. \nBest save the bedroom for last. \nHe brushed a layer of dust off the lamp he’d picked up, and placed it on the table. He was reaching to continue with the rest of shelve’s items when he heard coughing from behind him. \n\n“Oh!,” Kamara turned around, “I didn’t realize you’d gotten...” Kamara’s words died in his throat when he saw the old man before him. He seemed to be looking around, before turning to him. \n\n“Are you the owner?” His voice was harsh but his tone was gentle. He didn’t wait for a response from Kamara, instead he turned and walked into the hallway. \n\n“Perfect!” Kamara heard him exclaim. \n\n“W-wait!” Kamara followed to find him standing the doors to the basement & bathroom. He was looking at him with a smile. “W-who..?”\n\n“Before you ask, I came from the lamp, like a....” He paused for a moment. “Like a genie.”\n\n“A genie?!” This wasn’t happening. \n\n“Yes, but, unlike a genie I’m offering you two choices.” He gestured to the door on his left, ”The door on the left... Er right, will lead you to what you really need.” \n\n“That’s a bathroom!” Kamara was on the verge of freaking out. \n\n“And on your left!” The man continued. “A door to anything you want! Now, Kamara, choose whichever you desire.” The man was beaming with anticipation. \n\nKamara on the other hand, well...\n\n“Unbelievable.” Kamara almost wished this was legit. He could use both those options. He looked to the basement door, there was a door downstairs leading outside. He could escape and call for help, valuables in the house be damned, this man knew his name. Kamara opened the door to the basement and closed it behind him, only...\n\nHe found himself standing back in the living room. Only, there were now two lamps now sitting on the table. \n\n", "\"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense.\"\nOf course I had fantasized about this before; I already knew what my wishes would be. I think I even wrote them down somewhere, each wish taking up several pages to ensure that a mischievous genie couldn't twist my words somehow, but this was even better. One door was decorated with a small drawing of a pen, the other with a white pill. I didn't doubt for a second which was which as I turned to the genie.\n\"Who came up with this system? It's nothing short of brilliant.\"\nHe chuckled, slowly getting up from the bench he had been sitting on. \"It's been 43 years since I started doing this, and you're the first person to ask that; usually they're just disappointed that they don't get three wishes like in all the stories.\"\nI turned my attention towards the doors again. \"So this\" I pointed at the door to the left \"is the 'want' door, correct?\"\n\"Yes, I assume you have some idea as to what the symbols mean.\"\nIndeed I did, it was the only reason I hadn't immediately chosen the 'need' door. It's a strange decision to have to make, knowing that there's only one right choice, and yet feeling so tempted to ignore it. Perhaps it's because we all know what we want, at least to some extent, but what we need is impossible to know until after that fact.\n\"Yes, I think I do. Can you tell what's on the other side?\"\n\"Of course, but the rules prevent me from telling you, as much as I'd like to.\"\n\"I thought as much.\"\n\"Feel free to take your time, I've got all day.\"\nThe genie sat down again and closed his eyes. He must be used to people taking a long time with this. Nothing to do but figure it out, I guess. I examined the doors again, as if that would help. Apart from the drawings, the doors were identical, and there were no keyholes to peek through. Come on, you already know what you're going to pick, just get it over with. Behind the 'need' door, I would no doubt find motivation and desire again, and with that, a chance to do something meaningful with my life instead of locking myself away, but the moment I saw the pen, and more importantly, the heart on its tip, I knew what it meant. If I pick that door, they're going to be real. It would be better in every way if I didn't, but to know that I had the chance... No, if they can be happy, then it doesn't matter. My hand closed around the doorknob, about to push down. This is stupid; they aren't real. If anything, I would be making it worse for them. I slowly opened the door. No, this is worth it. Before me was a woman in a school uniform, sitting at a lone piano in an infinite void. Just as I crossed the threshold, she slowly dissolved, leaving behind nothing but a small piece of notebook paper, slowly falling to the floor. I smiled, knowing that I could make things right now and prevent all the terrible things that happened here. The void turned into an infinite mass of zeroes, and I saw a message in the corner of my vision \"Welcome back, club president.\" Imagine how pissed off the guys in r/DDLC would be if they knew about this.\n\nEdit: Accidentally posted with the ending missing,", "I could smell him from here.\n\nIt was like he rolled around in the dusty remains of a bunch of skeletons. Old and smelling of mildew. Yum. \n\n“Can you explain it to me one more time?”\n\nThe man looked at me with his tired eyes. He back was so hunched that even I started leaning forward. Everything about him screamed frail. If I hadn’t just witnessed him squeeze out of this old lamp, I’d have thought he would break in half right in front of me. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case. \n\nAt first I was annoyed at how overbearing he was being. He kept talking in riddles and telling me about how these two doors will, “give you all, but not all will give you all.” Now I was becoming more fearful. When the old man appeared, so did the doors. Almost instantly he started pushing me toward them. The man’s strength surprised me. It was like trying to push back on a horse, nothing I did would budge him, and he just kept sliding me closer and closer to these doors. These two freaking doors. The same wooden doors that appeared out of the tile floor I was walking on just minutes ago. Dilapidated and gray wood throughout, they stood there unwavering. No matter which way I turned, they seemed to move with the scenery so they were always 6 feet in front of me. I’d even tried turning so the doors would be ‘forced’ outside of the walls of the antique shop I was in, but they just moved closer to me. \n\n“It’s simple!” he said as he cackled at me. “One door leads to everything you want and the other to what you really need.”\n\nWhat did I really want or need? I have everything I need. I have water, food, a wife, a car, a job, admittedly a boring one, but a job nonetheless. I am living my life the way we were supposed to right? Go to school, get a job, find a wife, buy a house, get old, die. What else is there really to this world? I’ve heard of people having a mid-life crisis. Going out and buying a boat or a sports car. Woo hoo, what good did that do? Get you more into debt and piss off your wife? No, I’m content with what I have. And I’d really like to leave this store, but it seems I’m stuck here with an antique senile man in desperate need of a shower. Who insists on me walking thorough a door.\n \nWhat would I even want if I went through the door on the right? If it leads to everything I want, then doesn’t that also include everything I need? The sky is the limit, quite literally it seems. I want to never have to work again, to never have to fight with my wife over why the house isn’t clean, or how I’m too tired to go to her friend’s house for another stupid dinner party. I want total happiness, perfect health, and be able to do whatever I want when I want. How is a door supposed to give me that?\n\n“Ok.” I said. “So once I walk through one of these doors, you’ll go away? The doors will go away? And I can go about my life with either everything I want, or everything I apparently need?”\n\n“Yes!” he said.\n\nEven his teeth looked dusty.\n\n“Fine”.\n\nIf I go through the ‘need’ door, I have no control over what it leads to. It could be a new car, or it could be a drill Sargent whipping me into shape. Who decides what I really need anyway? How do I even know, even subconsciously, what I really need? It has to be someone else deciding then. God help me if this old freak is the one doing the deciding, I’m doomed to crossword puzzles and watching Family Feud with this smelly creep probably.\n\nI stared at the door on the right. The one the man said leads to everything I want. I took a step closer and the door didn’t move. Now I was only 3 feet away from the old wooden door. I turned to look at the old man dressed in rags. He was clenching his fists smiling with his too yellow teeth, practically hyperventilating with excitement as I took a step closer. \n\nI turned back at the door. Another step forward. \n\nI could smell the filthy door in front of me. A putrid taste entered my mouth and I almost gagged and left for the the other door. \n\nNo.\n\nI’m not going to let some freak decide my fate, if this isn’t just some convoluted magic trick or something. I’m going to chose what I want for once.\n\nMy hand reached for the door and I felt a small breeze emanate from the handle as I touched the knob. I opened the door slowly and was blinded by the light that shone through the threshold now that I was halfway through. \n\nI went to close the door behind me when I heard the faint screeching from the old man through the crack.\n\n“He did it! He chose the wanted one! A pity! A true pity!” he yelled. The handle ripped from my hand and the door slammed shut in the same moment I was plunged into pure darkness.\n\n“What I have I done,” I whispered. And the sound of my voice was snuffed out by the teething darkness that began constricting around me. \n", "Will sat at the bar, drink in hand, and sipped at it casually while he waited on Harv to decide.\n\n\"One is Want, and the other is Need?\"\n\nHarv was leaning against the counter, looking at the cards that had been laid out on the bar top. Two beaten up, worn tarot cards with an image of a door on the back of them. They were both curled, as if they had been used in innumerable games of three-card monte, or had seen extensive use telling fortunes. They were both worn down enough that the image had started to fade, the corners marked by creases and specks of dirt.\n\nWill nodded as he drank, then let out a loud belch. He thumped his fist on his chest, then reached up to scratch his beard a bit. It was a course, ginger mess that completely encircled his mouth, his mustache twitching when he spoke.\n\n\"One is Want, the other is Need. Pretty sure that that one there is Want—\" he pointed at the card on the left, \"but shit if I know. Sometimes I lose track.\" He picked up the cards and swapped them around a few times before laying them back out. \"There, now I definitely don't know. Whadda ya think?\"\n\n\"Well, that's kinda shitty. Where's the choice? It's not a wish at all, it's just chance.\"\n\n\"You think you get a choice? Ain't nobody get a choice, Harv, not really. As far as the universe is concerned, you already picked one, and that's that.\"\n\n\"That's depressingly deterministic.\"\n\nWill shrugged, and took another sip of his drink. When he'd drained it entirely, he reached over the counter to pour himself another. \"That's life. Once you've seen the cosmos, really gotten out there and seen what makes everything up, you stop worrying so much about the point of it all. Sit back, choose a card, have a beer.\" He poured another glass and slid it over to the younger man, who accepted it reluctantly.\n\n\"I'd prefer something fruity, with a little umbrella sticking out of it.\"\n\n\"Sucks, you get beer.\"\n\nHarv sipped, and only grimaced a little bit. \"Well, since the choice isn't really there, can you tell me what's behind each door? Or card, as it were.\"\n\nThe Djinn shrugged. \"Don't see why not. Want is X. The Forest. You'll appease your boss, fulfill your goals, and defeat your enemies. Need is VI. Man. You'll connect with the humans, fail in your goals, and be defeated and cast into exile.\"\n\n\"That's what I need? That's terrible, why would I ever choose that?\"\n\nThe Djinn's eye twinkled. \"Why do you think I mixed up the cards? Take my word for it, Harv, you absolutely do need it. You won't understand why until later.\"\n\nHarv glared back at him, and he let out a loud guffaw in response before tipping back the rest of his glass. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand and let out a sigh, his laughter dying out.\n\n\"What if I don't want to choose one?\"\n\n\"Then don't choose one,\" he shrugged, \"makes no difference to me. I'm not burning a proper Wish on this anyway.\"\n\n\"Well then, how about—\" Harv reached forward, and pushed the cards over to sit in front of the Djinn. \"You choose.\"\n\nWill furrowed his brow. \"Sorry, what? That's not how this works.\"\n\n\"Sure it is. Forest is Want, Man is Need. If you choose the Forest, I'll buy you a beer. That's something you want, right?\"\n\n\"And Need?\"\n\nNow it was Harv's turn to sip his beer and smirk. \"I'll send your lamp into orbit. Orbit around Jupiter, mind you.\" He tipped back his beer, swallowing it as quickly as he could. When he set the glass down, Will was just staring at him, mouth slightly agape.\n\n\"You don't have the power to do something like that.\"\n\n\"I absolutely do. You know as well as I do that I can't lie about that.\"\n\nWill's hand was shaking. He suddenly and deeply regretted mixing up the cards. His hand hovered over one, then the other, unable to commit. He pounded it down as a fist on the bar top.\n\n\"Shit, Harv, you can't just do that to me. This is cruel, even for you.\"\n\nHarv shrugged. \"If it helps, it'll be a nice a beer. No price limit.\"\n\nWill shook his head again, laughing to keep himself from crying. \"You know what you're offering me, right? If you send the damn lamp away?\"\n\n\"I'm aware. Are you choosing or not?\"\n\nWill went to take a sip from his glass, but it was empty. He set it down, licking his lips nervously, and very carefully flipped over a card.\n\nVI. Man", "Besant had finally found it. The lamp lay hidden beneath the shade of a tree in an isolated oasis. The desert was vast and had taken many an adventurer's life, the the risk was well worth taking. In his hands he held it. Feeling the warmth of its legendary power, his has even trembled. He caught his composure before finally rubbing the lamp with a tender touch.\n\nFor all the talk that genies garner, the old and weary man that came out of the mystical lamp was simply shocked Stephen. There was no dark cloud foreshadowing an ominous and omnipotent being. Just a calming mist that dissipated to reveal an even calmer man.\n\n\"You? You're the genie that has lived in this lamp?\"\n\nBesant hadn't anticipate it, but was undeterred nonetheless. So what if he didn't look the part? All that matters if he could get the job done. \n\nThe genie greeted him with a smile. Lines and creases covered his face, too many to count. He had been around for millennia if the stories were to be true. But before Besant could ask for a wish, the genie waved him to silence.\n\n\"Young man, you have a misunderstanding of the situation. I gather you want three wishes? From me, you will get more than you could have ever imagined. I offer you two choices.\"\n\nGrand doors jutted from the ground, larger than houses and taller than trees. One was black, the other white. \n\n\"Stephen, I know my master's intentions the second they rub my lamp. Your will is mine, my power yours. My cosmic gifts will give you, behind the black door, everything you could ever want in life. Make yourself anew and discover wonders.\"\n\nStephen smirked at that. Everything he could ever want? What else behind could possibly top a life lived to the fullest?\n\n\"Genie, I believe enough has been said! With all the wealth and power I could find from the black door, what could the white ever offer?\"\n\n\"I am happy you asked, Stephen. You see, all you could ever want lies a hairs breath away, but the white door has something as well. Whatever you truly need will be given to you, without delay. The only question is, do you know what you truly need? Can you live without it?\"\n\nIt started Stephen to be prodded and questioned. What more did he need if he could get what he wanted?\n\n\"Genie, you questions are folly. With Everything I could ever want, I will aquire what I need. I choose the black door.\"\n\nThe genie nodded and held his hand on the knob of the grand door. He opened it to reveal the other side, but much to Besants annoyance, it only revealed the rest of the desert. \n\n\"Do you play me more a fool? You talk of wealth and power, of what I want realized, and all I see is sand!\"\n\n\"You must walk through the door first, only then you can have what you want.\"\n\nBesant strode through the door eagerly, a hunger in his eyes that was almost blinding. Immediately, mountains of gold materialized before his eyes. He clammored with excitement and jumped for joy. He will become the richest man in the world!\n\n\"Hahaha! Genie! thank your for your time! I hope you hear tale of me the next time you are summoned!\"\n\nThe genie coyly grinned as he waved Besant off as he began to dissipate back into his lamp. \n\n\"I hope I hear you are still alive.\"\n\nBesant was certainly confused by his reply, but was more preoccupied by his inability to move. He had realized too late that walking thrrough the black door had resulted in unknowingly walking into quicksand! He could see the mountain of gold an arms just a few yards away. His grand castle in the distance seemed to shimmer in the baking sun. \n\nHe wished from ropes, shovels, tools, trinkets, anything to save him from his impending doom. But the more he struggled and moved, the more the sand enveloped him. He screamed for help until the sand filled his mouth. He looked over to the lamp, a desperate glance longing for life. It was only then that it dawned on him that what he truly needed was a way out. ", "\"Oh I know this one,\" Jeremy responds, \"I'm supposed to ask each guard what the other would choose. The truth teller will tell me that the liar would suggest the incorrect door, while the liar will tell me that the truth teller would tell me to go through the incorrect door, right?\"\n\nThe genie, floating over his lamp raised a single eyebrow. \"This isn't some stupid sphynx's riddle child. There's no puzzle, merely the choice, the door with what you wanted, and the other with what you really need.\"\n\n\"So no guards?\"\n\n\"No guards.\"\n\nJeremy thought for a minute. This was far from what he expected. \"So what's the catch?\"\n\n\"The catch?\" The genie responded, struggling to see what was so difficult for this mortal to understand. \"There is no catch. just the simple choice between want and need.\"\n\n\"Oh, I get it.\" Jeremy said, a grin smirking across his face enthusiastically. \"So I make a 'choice', and it turns out that it was somehow the wrong choice.\"\n\n\"What?\" The genie said, \"no that's not...\"\n\n\"Yes it is,\" Jeremy said smugly, \"If I pick the want door, all I get is something pathetic like a cheeseburger because I'm a little hungry, and then you showed me the need door which shows me enough money to get me out of debt, while if I pick the need door I get enough money to buy a cheeseburger, but the want door now contains a winning lottery ticket. So either way I come across as the loser.\"\n\n\"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?\"\n\n\"Huh?\"\n\n\"What could I possibly gain from giving you such a sadistic choice?\"\n\n\"I 'unno,\" Jeremy replied, \"Aren't genies supposed to be tricksters who enjoy human misery?\"\n\n\"Maybe some,\" The genie replied, \"But after so many thousands of years, I jut want to get my last few decades done and dusted before I retire. So please, for both of us, just pick a door?\"\n\n\"... is there a third door?\"\n\n\"Why on Earth... what in the name of...\" The genie was beginning to get very frustrated now. He took a single deep breath. \"No Jeremy,\" he said, a little bit of frustration seeping through his attempted calm demeanor, \"There are no other doors.\"\n\nJeremy took one step towards one of the doors. \"So which door is this?\" \n\n\"The 'need' door,\" The genie repeated. Jeremy had been told this just moments before. The genie had even arranged the doors in a left to right order to match how a Latin reader would approach the situation, and yet still the need for clarification.\n\n\"Which makes the other door the 'want' door.\" Jeremy clarified to himself. \"Hmm, decisions decisions.\"\n\nThe genie sat on the floor, it's ethereal legs crossed, it's fingers slowly tapping in boredom as this mortal wasted precious minutes of it's short life to decide on a door. \n\n\"And it's definitely not the same thing behind each door?\"\n\nThe genie sighed, \"No Jeremy, it's different things.\"\n\n\"And you still can't tell me what they are?\"\n\n\"Believe me, I would love nothing more than to tell you, but my hands are tied,\" the genie said before muttering under it's breath, \"unfortunately for me.\"\n\n\"Alright, so I guess it's up to eenie-meenie-minee-moe then!\" Jeremy eventually decided.\n\nThe genie sat there absolutely gobsmacked. Not only was this guy deciding the future based entirely on a children's nursery rhyme, but even a small child would know that eenie-meenie will always fell on the second choice in a two choice scenario, making this random choice not even remotely random. It was so stupid the genie almost objected, until he realised just how long he'd already been stuck here.\n\n\"Moe,\" said Jeremy, as he landed on the 'need' door.\n\n\"An excellent choice,\" the genie said as the other door disappeared in a puff of pink smoke.\n\nExcitedly Jeremy walked in. He was greated by a table with a single book on it. As he lifted the book up, the table disappeared, seemingly only existing to prop up Jeremy's true prize. \n\nJeremy turned the book to the front and read the title. \"'Making Important Decisions: A practical guide for being more decisive in life.\"" ]	8
	[WP] So they say all dogs go to heaven, except you are the first dog to go to hell.	[ "\"Woof!\" I wagged my tail eagerly, looking at this humanoid figure in front of me. He doesn't look like my owner, but I'll love him just the same.\n\nThe humanoid figure sat there silently, just looking at me. Oh, you bet I got a good look at him too. He had red skin, and a goatee, but he was dressed in one of those fancy things that I used to pee all over and it made my owner really mad sometimes.\n\nHe finally spoke. \"Jesus christ, finally Old Man Righteous has stopped hogging all the dogs for himself and sent one down here for once. I've been saving all these toys for damn near eternity. We're going to have so much fun!\" I got excited at the word \"toys\", so I started wagging my tail furiously, ran up to him in his huge armchair, hopped on his lap and started licking his face. His skin was cold to my tongue, which is weird, considering the fact that he's red and all. It was at this moment, though, that I realized that I'm a bit too big for him, cause as soon as I jumped on him, he was basically smothered in my long hair. \"Woof!\"\n\n\"Alright, calm down there, buddy! I don't need all this love, I'm the ruler of hell, for crying out loud!\" \n\nI finally relaxed a little bit, and that gave Satan the chance to check out my details. \"So it says here that you were named Zeus by your last owners?\"\n\nRecognizing my own name, I let out an ecstatic \"woof!\"\n\n\"Okay, good thing that's a whole different religion, otherwise we would have problems. I'm on good terms with Hades, but he never visits anyways so it doesn't matter that you're named Zeus. So, uh, before we get down to business, why don't I show you around my place? There's almost an infinite amount of space for you to play in.\"\n\nWe start walking, and from my years of training, I know not to stray far from my \"owner\". Wait. Something seems off. SQUIRREL!\n\nWait, what was I doing? Oh yeah, touring Hell. Cool. OHMYGOD BALL PIT! OHMYGOD PARK! OHMYGOD HUGE BOXES OF TOYS!\n\nSatan chuckled when I ran over to the toys. \"See, I told you I wasn't lying when I said that I've been saving up toys for damn near eternity.\"\n\nHe wasn't lying. There must've been 30 boxes of toys filled to the brim, and these were boxes that could fit people in them. Maybe they were designed for people. Whatever, I don't care. TOYS!\n\n\"There's plenty of other residents here for you to meet as well. I thought that maybe you'd be able to distract them from the fact that they're going to be suffering for eternity down here.\" \n\nNot going to lie, I miss my owner. I miss the way his face lit up every time I was at the door, waiting for him when he came home from work. I miss his throwing arm, which he took pride in until both of us got too old to play fetch. I miss the tree that I always laid under on an especially hot summer's day. \n\nSatan must have read my expression perfectly, because he said, \"Don't worry, I'll try and get Adam down here as well. I know you miss him. I'll try and persuade His AssHolyness to send him down here as well. It won't be long. Trust me.\"\n\nWith that, I decided I was tired. I have gotten really worked up today and I need to go to bed. Satan quickly showed me to our room and I saw a huge bed and a huge doggy bed. I was honestly too tired to even get in the doggy bed, so I climbed up on the human bed and promptly fell asleep. Boy, this will be a fun eternity." ]	1
	[WP] They met, night after night, until their work together was done.	[ "“So this is it?” \n\nI looked up and caught his eyes, dulled by exhaustion, or maybe the grief. It wasn’t clear which of us had asked the question, but it was the only thing on either of our minds. \n\nI decided to answer it, either way. “Yeah, we can go.” \n\nBut neither of us did. \n\nIt wasn’t like we enjoyed each other’s’ company. After all, for years we did everything within our power to avoid it. He moved to California, I stayed in Ohio. He took a job that only gave him off on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, so he couldn’t possibly visit in the winter anymore. It didn’t matter, I’d told my wife that he was a sociopath, obsessed with nothing but working his way to the top of the Silicon Valley. He’d told his kids that I was a religious zealot because I attended mass a few times per month. Never mind the fact that our mother had raised us in the Catholic Church. \n\nBut she wouldn’t have wanted us to argue about that right now. She would want us to be telling stories about our vacations as kids, like that time when we drove for two days up to our Uncle Marty’s cabin in Boothbay Harbor, Maine, and she pretended to leave us as we got out and stretched by the side of the highway. Or the time when we went to a ski resort and they sent us to fill a bucket with ice. The two of us stumbled into an arcade, spent almost four hours there without realizing it, and then frantically prepared a list of excuses as we walked back to the room. Turns out, she and dad were up at the bar and had forgotten that we were gone. \n\nThat was what she talked about when he passed, while my brother and I tried to arrange the logistics: How will his assets be divided? When is the burial? How should the nieces and nephews find out?\n \nAnd now, here we were, brought together night after night to answer these questions again. \n\nYears had passed between then and now. Years in which we mostly ignored her calls so that we wouldn’t be bothered by, “Have you called your brother?” Years that she spent wishing her only sons hadn’t drifted so far apart.\n\nI scanned the room. It was white, cold, without character or charm. The couches were looked plain, even untouched. It was a shame that this space, empty, was the last thing she saw as her consciousness slipped away. \n\nI don’t know what hit me, but in that moment I started to cry. \n\nI didn’t stop. \n\nHe may have risen for a second and thought about consoling me. Maybe then, he sat down when he realized that he didn’t know how. That’s what I wanted to imagine. But if it happened, I didn’t hear it. \n\nFor all I know, he just sat there, staring through the wall as I collapsed under more than a decade of guilt.", "There comes a point, in the early hours of the morning, that the aches that have crept up your spine simply vanish. It’s a wonderfully euphoric moment, like a weight raised from your body and a sigh escapes your lips. And then you look back at the floor, at the mess, and you cannot go on and as you rise, every ache. Every pain and memory, comes flooding back.\n\nSally watches me. I always give up first. She’s determined. Her fingers are bloody. I can’t tell what’s paint and what’s pain. I pull her back from the wall.\n\nJust one more she says. But we need rest. I need rest.\n\nThere’s no bed. An inflatable mattress. Sally takes it. I ball up my jacket and sleep on the floor, touching the tiles.\n\nSally cries before she sleeps and then she cries in her sleep. I roll onto my side.\n\nIn the morning she’ll be gone. Work and a new home and then back here. I’ll be waiting. I’ve replaced most of the wood. Sally does the painting. The little decals. She does them best. From memory. \n\nWe’ll make this house look like a home again, but neither of us will live here. The fire burnt the beams and the walls and the things we kept inside it.\n\nThe fire took our son and we’ve almost finished our grieving. Sally cries and I go back to the floor of my sons room.", "“We’re not stopping until we’re finished,” said Geoff, sitting at the head of the table in his make-shift robe and wizard hat.\n\n“We’ve clearly fucked this up. We didn’t know what we were doing to begin with and we should have just played Monopoly,” explained Luke, his posture perfectly displaying his enthusiasm. \n\n“Shut up. Shut up about Monopoly. We decided on this so we’re going through with it. This is our problem, we always start something as a group and then just ditch it as soon as it becomes difficult or we realise we don’t know what we’re doing. Well, for once, we’re going to ignore the fact we don’t know what we’re doing and we’re going to finish what we have started,” said Geoff.\n\n“Where were we even up to?” mumbled Lillian, as she flicked around the small plastic figure in front of her.\n\nGeoff opened up his note pad. “Well, we finished off last night in the Balrog’s cave. “\n\n“And what was my character again?” asked Luke.\n\n“You were a ‘three human armed snake who could also do that cool sideways flying bicycle kick thing Liu Kang does in Mortal Kombat’.”\n\n“Ah, yeah. And is it too late to change?”\n\nGeoff’s eyes peered from above his notes. “What? Of course it’s too late to change.”\n\n“How do you know, we don’t even know how to play this game,” said Bjorn, trying to remember where the pieces lay on the table from the night before.\n\n“Because changing at this stage is too fucking late regardless of what game we are playing.”\n\n“Am I still a piece of shit?” asked Bjorn\n\nGeoff picked his notes back up. “Yeah.”\n\n“Then I would also like to change,” said Bjorn.\n\n“No,” said Geoff, while forcibly moving the pieces in to place on the table. “Everyone stays the same. Luke, you’re the snake with three oversized human arms, Andy is a 3000 year old man who looks good for his age, Lillian is a weirdo introvert who tags along, and Bjorn is a piece of shit.”\n\n“And you’re the dungeon master,” said Lillian.\n\n“Yeah, I’m the dungeon master. Now. You walk in to the cave…”\n\n“I roll a 1 and remain a piece of shit,” said Bjorn.\n\n“Fantastic.”\n\n“I roll a 12 and use my three human arms to remind Bjorn he’s a piece of shit,” said Luke.\n\n“This is why we’re never going to finish this. First of all, and I don’t know why I keep having to remind you, but you need to roll the dice, not just announce what you have decided to roll. Secondly, you’re fighting a Balrog, how is this going to advance the story?”\n\n“I roll a 38 and the Balrog is struck with mystery as to how I’m 3000 years old and don’t have a single wrinkle on my forehead,” said Andy.\n\n“Why would a Balrog be mystified by that?” asked Geoff.\n\nAndy ignored Geoff and continued, “I roll another 38 and combine my lack of wrinkles with the absence of bags under my eyes. The Balrog is weakened as I’m also somehow 3000 years old. The Balrog signs up for Avon deliveries.”\n\nGeoff slumped back in to his char, his wizard hat almost falling off his head. “This is not how you defeat a Balrog.”\n \nLillian picked up the dice but didn’t release them on to the table. “I roll a 4 and think about saying something but then convince myself it’s not worth the days of retrospective analysis and remain in the corner avoiding eye contact.”\n\nBjorn, making no attempt to roll any dice, placed both of his hands on the table and leaned forward. “To everyone’s surprise I roll an 800, the Balrog recoils anticipating the threat, his monstrous body thrashing in to the side of the cave causing a mini landslide of rocks and rubble, but I remain a piece of shit.”\n\n“I do that Liu Kang kick thing you reminded me of before even though I’m a snake and I don’t have legs. The Balrog is defeated,” announced Luke. “I rolled something like a million or something in order to do this. I rolled whatever it takes in order to do what I just did.”\n\n“Great,” said Geoff, his notepad bouncing off the wall across the room.\n\n\n****\n\nI write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement. ", "They met, night after night, until their work together was done. It wasn't easy, but they knew all too well the need to set aside their differences and complete the task.\n\n\nThey were not friends; far from it, and they had made each other deathly aware of the fact that time was not sufficient enough a device to heal some of the deeper wounds that still bled so many years later. \n\nShackled by duty and chained by their terrible mistakes, they slaved throughout the nights. They did not have time or want for levity. Only the job. It was always about the job.\n\n\nThe great experiment had failed. Millenia of misplaced hopes and dreams were reduced to rubble, and the debris of the blood and tears they had shed swarmed the air around them in a cloud of pain and heartbreak. \n\n\"Perhaps we should try again,\" the Creator whispered, a solitary tear escaping from his eye. \"A new world, a new universe. A better one.\"\n\nThe Destroyer curled his lip and grimaced. \"Judging from the last ten efforts, we both know how awful an idea that would be. When will you learn brother?\"\n\nSlowly, reluctantly, he nodded his head. He acknowledged the futility of it all and accepted his defeat.\n\nThey sat in silence, and years of words left unspoken remained imprisoned deep within the self imposed cages they had created within their stubborn heads.\n\nThey did not hug. They did not shake hands, or smile. They simply nodded, solemn and unfeeling. Cold. They would never see each other again.\n\n(Feedback always appreciated!)" ]	4
create a story about someone who after having sold everything they had to offer, bought a ticket to live among the stars of an early space age earth	[WP] 50 years after the original falcon heavy launch, You sit down on your first flight, this is the start of your new life far from home, next stop, the international space port	[ "“50 years of progress and development, thousands of flights with barely one major failure… there's nothing to be worried about right?” I turn to look at the person sitting next to me, adjusting his restraints and trying to ignore me. “Well??” I ask again, trying to eek a response out of the exhausted looking person in a slick black suit. “How many of these flights have you been on anyway?” The stranger turned to me and responded. “This is about my eighth time on one of these things, don't worry, just sit back and try not to throw up on ascent, i don't want to have to change suits because you didn't listen to the warnings not to eat anything heavy before getting on” they sat there staring at me waiting for a response eventually turning back to look ahead after i failed to find the right words. \n\n\n“How on earth were they so calm?” I thought to myself, I mean eight flights is a lot but could the fear and thrill really wear off after that many flights? This is still new territory here, if something goes wrong there's nothing that will save us…. “H- Hey, if you don't mind me asking, why eight flights?” they stared back at me confused and slightly irritated. “Excuse me?” I hesitated for a moment before asking the question once again. “Why have you been on these things over eight times now?” the stranger looked back at me, their look of irritability and tiredness washed away and was replaced with a look of glee and excitement that i would have recognized in the mirror days before getting on this thing. “Oh no, you misunderstand, i have been on these eight times in the past year, I fly all the time! I've probably been on around forty flights since i was cleared for travel five years ago.” They chuckle at me while i gawk and fail to process that.\n\n\n “Forty flights??” I repeat to myself, that’s insane! How on earth would someone survive that many trips on one of these things, why on earth would they justify the stress of being flown on one of these things so much?? I focus on my thoughts as they place a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, don't over think this, just sit back and enjoy the ride, these things are safe alright, you can take my word for it alright?” I get drawn out of my pit of destructive thoughts and look back at my new friend. “Th -thanks, i guess i'm a little nerve racked from this being my first time up here and all, starting a new life and leaving everyone i know behind, not knowing if i’ll ever see them again or if they’ll worry what happens to me…” they give me a pat on the shoulder, and reassure me, “Don’t you worry about that alright, it’s not like you’ll have to drop contact forever, you can always call or fly back when you think you need a taste of home.” calmed and content with my inner fears snuffed i look to them with a half grin.\n\n\n“Well i mean, nothing says i can't make new friends either, and from the sounds of it you’ll be spending a lot of time in the place i’m moving to, so, you feel like heading to a bar when we get to port?” I look at them and wait for a response, drowning out the building whining sounds of ramping engines and cabin announcements before startling myself with a realization. “Oh how could i forget, people usually call me ray, and you don't have to decide now, ittle be a while till we get there anyway, an-” i get cut off as the wind gets pushed out of my lungs and my entire body is pushed back into my seat harder and harder, as i feel us speed up, the shaking and creaking passing by rapidly as i catch my breath again and feel the light headedness they warned me about, lard clanking sounds filled my eardrums and another massive burst of acceleration. Followed by a nice slow cruise, was this it? The entire five thousand dollar ticket price for an hour wait in an uncomfortable seat and 25 minutes of actual flight??? “ That was it? The flights over?”\n \n\n\n“Not yet Ray, you still got about 30 minutes before we reach port, by the way, my names Alex, i think i could take you up on your offer, after all, just don’t get lost, its a pretty busy port, lots of people and ships coming in and out, it is the biggest port after all. Just follow me after we dock to it alright?” i look out the window staring at the slowly growing space station, aweing and admiring its beauty, and centrifugal rings, its large docking arms and cargo containers, a true marvelous feat of engineering and logistics. “Wow, its so beautiful… i guess i made the right choice after all… my new home awaits me once we dock… A new future among the stars… and being among the first generations that gets to help shape it...\n" ]	1
	[WP] A man and women are in an unhappy marriage, and each of them set out to cheat on the other through a dating website that connects people to the person that best matches them. However, they are matched with each other.	[ "I was tired of my lady, we´d been together too long\nLike a worn-out recording, of a favorite song\nSo while she lay there sleeping, I had my PC in bed\nAnd on this one website, there was this letter I read\n\"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain\nIf you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape\nI´m the love that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape\"\nI didn´t think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean\nBut me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine\nSo I get on the website, took out a personal ad\nAnd though I´m nobody´s poet, I thought it wasn´t half bad\n\"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain\nI´m not much into health food, I am into champagne\nI´ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape\nAt a bar called O'Malley's, where we´ll plan our escape\"\nSo I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place\nI knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face\nIt was my own lovely lady, and she said, \"Oh, it´s you\"\nAnd we laughed for a moment, and I said, \"I never knew\"\n\"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain\nAnd the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape\nYou´re the love that I´ve looked for, come with me, and escape\"\n\"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain\nIf you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain\nIf you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape\nI'm the love that you've looked for, come with me, and escape\"\n" ]	1
	[WP] Your grandmother has passed away. Before her death, she wrote a letter to you. It reads, "I wish I had listened to you when you told me not to open it." The problem is, you don't remember what she's talking about.	[ "My memory is not exactly amazing. In fact, it usually downright sucks. I can recall the most obscure and useless things. Need to know where you left the red sharpie marker 4 months ago? I probably know that. But if you need to know anything of an actual importance, I probably forgot it the instant I thought about something else.\n\n The Letter, as I had called it for the last month and a half, was one of those important things. On January 23rd, Just two days after my grandmother died, I received a letter from her in the mail. I was shocked when I got it of course, mostly because I had already come to terms with not hearing anything from her ever again. I had ripped the envelope open almost immediately and was greeted with a single page of paper with hand written text on it. It said simply “I wish I had listened to you when you told me not to open it”. In the following days I let it sit at the back of my mind, trying to think of what it could mean, without any results. It wasn’t like my grandmother to be so nondescript with her letters, and I couldn’t for the life of me remember telling her that. I even had a friend with a black light go over the letter and the remains of the envelope to make sure granny wasn’t pulling some Mission Impossible deal on me. It turned up nothing.\n\nThen one night in the shower it hit me all at once. As if a solid brick of remembrance had just been thrown at my head, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I scrambled out of the shower, just about losing my balance in the process. WIth in five minutes I was out the door with my car keys in my hand. Unlike most of the people I grew up with, my grandma lived just ten minutes away from my parents house. Even now, her place was just a twenty minute drive from my apartment. I quickly brushed the snow off my car and headed out. The roads were still slick with snow from the past week of blizzards, but I wasted no time getting to her house. I walked up the path to the door, and jammed the key into the lock as I had done so many times in the past.\n\nThe inside of her house looked the same as it always had. Most of her furniture hadn’t moved an inch in my 25 years of life, and the entire house felt like it could be a portal back to the 1970’s. Unlike every time I had visited in the past however, all the lights were off. There was no sound from the TV, there was no smell of cooking food from the kitchen, and the air just felt colder. It was as if the house itself had died along with her. Onward. I pushed all the swarming thoughts back into their corner of my mind, and headed up the stairs.\n\nI sat down in her office chair and turned my attention to the only part of her house that didn’t scream 1974, the computer and monitor on her desk. She wasn’t exactly a computer genius by any means, and she didn’t even use it a whole lot, but she sent some emails and looked up recipes online now and again. The computer wasn’t all that new, or even made in the last decade. Its CRT monitor made a satisfying clunk sound as it warmed up and the Windows 95 loading screen came to life. After a few minutes of thinking time for the computer, I was finally able to summon up AOL Email from the link she had on her desktop. My grandma’s death was probably going to deliver a devastating blow to AOL, as she had to be one of their only regular users at that point. I scrolled down through her various messages until I found what I was looking for, an inbound email titled simply “A4T Research Lab. Become Part of the Future.” When she had called me about it two weeks before, I had told her it was spam and not to open it. The email on the screen was marked in the same white as the ones around it, meaning she had looked at the message.\n\nIt wasn’t much to go on, and in fact it seemed downright insane, but it was the only thing I could possibly think of that related to her letter. My grandmother took letter writing very seriously, and if she took the time to put a stamp on it and send it, she thought it was important. I opened the email, figuring a sketchy computer virus was the least of my worries at the moment. The text inside said \n\n“A4T Research Labs are excited to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity to benefit the whole of humanity in the future. Your family will be rewarded beyond what you can imagine for any work you are willing to do for our organization. Please contact us at (619) 085-1995 and enter in the pass code 2183 to get started!”\n\nThe email was signed at the bottom by Kelly Jools, Head of Recruitment. \n\nI took a picture of the email, including the phone number, with my cellphone and headed downstairs to the phone in the kitchen. It was an old style answering machine with a small tape in the top to record messages on, and a ten billion foot long cable for the handset. Layers of sticky notes surrounded the phone with numbers and quick notes on them. I immediately recognized one of the numbers as the one in the email. I started to dial in the number when I heard a scratching sound from the front door. I turned to look out the window and saw two men in a dark grey suits picking the deadbolt lock. \n\nThe people rapidly defeating the lock on the door didn’t look friendly. The one standing to the side had a bulge on the right side of his jacket that looked alarmingly like a pistol, and they both looked like the type to shoot first and ask questions later. Without thinking over it too much, I ducked into the small coat closet in the main room and shut the door in front of me. “This is not how I planned on spending my night” I mumbled to nobody but myself as I stood in the dark closet, waiting for the burglars to do the entering part of breaking and entering.\n\nI heard to the door open and then close after two people in heavy shoes walked in. “This place sure looks cozy” One of the two men remarked in a neutral tone.\n\n“Just get this done and lets get out of here” The second man interjected in a much more gruff voice\n“Fine Fine, it won’t take long don’t worry. She said the computer is upstairs” The neutral guy replied. \n\nI heard the two of them walk up the stairs. A sane person would have stayed in the closet, or even have made a run for the door. For reasons I am not really sure of, I decided to leave the closet and stand under the upstairs loft, so I could hear what they were saying. I heard the thunk of the old computer monitor turning on, then the laugh of the neutral guy.\n\n“No wonder the virus didn’t wipe her computer, the stupid thing is running Windows 95.” He remarked, slightly more amused sounding than his normal neutral tone. \n\n“Just blow the thing to bits and quit blabbing” Gruff guy said, clearly impatient.\n\nAfter some clatter on the keyboard I heard the computer and its monitor turn off again, and I snuck back into the closet. The two men walked back out the door, and then I heard the sound of the lock sliding back to the closed position. “These are not your average burglars” I thought to myself as I waited for them to walk back down the path and away from the house.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You were framed. You're a part of the ultimate game of lasertag, where convicts compete to survive. The person with the lowest score after a set amount of time loses again and again until only 1 remains.	[ "My heart is racing. I can’t think straight. I can’t control my breath, but if he hears me, he’ll shoot me square in the chest. \n\nHe’s the most notorious murderer in the whole prison. He goes by the name Croc, because of his affinity for feeding his victims to his pet crocodile. Before they handed us the guns and explained the rules, he had already gathered a gang of some of the worst criminals in here. In fact, I think every one of his lackeys is in here for murder. So when the “game” started, he and his mates made a pact to be the last ones remaining before fighting amongst themselves. You see, this is a battle royale. Last man standing.\n\nI hear him sigh a little. From having studied his habits, I had discovered his weakness. He is almost always surrounded by his gang, but once a day, he is alone. Once a day, he can be killed.\n\nIf I don’t kill him, I have no chance of winning. If I don’t win, I’ll never make it out of this place alive. I’m not supposed to be here, you see. I was framed for a murder I didn’t commit. I don’t belong in this horrible cage with these killers.\n\nI’d snuck past his crew without alerting them by reading their patterns. They rotate positions every so often in order to stay vigilant, but seemingly at random. However, last time they rotated I overheard one of them question the reasoning behind the process. It seems that Croc’s right-hand man, Vick, gives the order. I watched him all day today for the switch, snuck through, and hid under Croc’s bed.\n\nI move my hand over my mouth to prevent Croc from hearing my breath as I consider my plan of attack. I have to raise the gun at my side, but if I do I might make noise if the gun scrapes along the cement floor. I decide to drag it up my body. Slowly, I pull it along my clothes, inch by inch. There, I’m ready.\n\nThe scratching of pencil on paper grows in volume until it is the loudest, most terrible sound I’ve ever heard, next to the ringing in my ears. I roll out from under the bed, raise my gun and point it right at Croc’s back. Startled, he jumps out of his chair and grabs his gun. He spins around looking for me, but I have the advantage. As soon as he turns, I shoot him right in the chest.\n\nCroc’s muscles contract hard, against his will. The electric shock coming from the sensor strapped to his chest sends him crashing to the floor, writhing in pain. He drops his gun to the floor next to him. The light on his sensor has turned from blue to red. Mine turns to green.\n\nI kick away his gun and breathe a sigh of relief. It worked. I have a chance to win this now. I scan around the room to see if anyone has heard the commotion. I don’t hear anything, but it won’t be long before I am found. I start to exit the room, but on my way out I catch a glimpse of a piece of paper. It’s a highly detailed illustration of a girl bound by rope. Not just any girl, though. I’d recognize her face anywhere, although we’ve never met. She’s the victim of the murder for which I was framed. There are other drawings here, too - drawings of all of Croc’s victims. This…this could prove my innocence!\n\nI put my gun down and quickly stuff the drawings into my pockets, but I hear footsteps. They’re close. I must not have heard them at first from being so excited. I let my guard down. I scramble to pick up my gun, but I’m too late. There stands Vick, Croc’s right-hand man, aiming right at me. He fires confidently and I’m hit with the full force of the voltage from the sensor. I crumple to the floor, crushed and discarded like a piece of paper.\n\nAs I lie motionless, I muse at the curious nature of hope. I never thought I’d win, I just thought that I had to try. Even lying under Croc’s bed in wait, I had never allowed myself to hope for freedom - not until the moment I saw the drawings. Yet as soon as the flame of hope was lit, it was extinguished. The smoke trails lazily upwards and vanishes from sight. Only the memory of hope remains. \n\nYet, something is flickering.\n\nI look down at my chest. My light has turned back to blue. I regain control of my muscles. Taking out Croc must have given me an extra life. With no hesitation, I draw my weapon once more. Vick never even saw it coming. One shot and he falls to the floor beside me, facing me as his face contorts in agony. I give him a smile and, for good measure, check to see the color of his sensor. It’s red.\n\n I can still win this." ]	1
	[WP] I couldn’t believe my ears when you told me the baby’s name.	[ "''WHAT did you call the baby?!'' Ted cried out. \n\nKaren cast her eyes down, unable to meet his gaze. When she spoke it was a barely audible whisper. \n\n''Eleanor''\n\n''How could you, Karen! How dare you go behind my back like this? We agreed on 'Louisa' months ago! What on earth has gone into your head?''\n\nTears welled up in her eyes. \n\n''I just had to do it. I would've talked to you, but I knew you wouldn’t agree.''\n\n''Damn straight I wouldn’t agree! You can’t exactly blame me for not wanting to name my daughter after my MOTHER-IN-LAW!''\n\nKaren’s silent tears turned into long sobs. ''I’m s-sorry Ted. I know I should’ve talked to y-you. It’s just, I miss her so much. She was so excited when I told her I was pregnant. She couldn’t wait to be a grandmother. To hold her first grandchild.'' A flash of panic shot through her eyes. ''How am I going to do this without her? Who’s going to teach me how to be a mother now?''\n\nHer sobs became so loud and frequent she couldn’t speak anymore. A pang of guilt rose up in Ted’s chest. ''Oh darling, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You’re going through so much right now.'' He sat at the bed side and stroked her hair. ‘’Hush my darling. And don’t you worry for one second about how you’re going to do as a mom. You’re going to do just fine.’’ Carefully he lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. ‘’You got to share 33 years of your life with her. She taught you all you need to know.'' \n\nShe wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in tight.\n\nTed turned his head to look at the little girl in the crib. She was wide awake now, and looked into the room with boundless curiosity. ''She has your mother’s eyes. Deep blue like the ocean.'' He caressed her cheek and smiled. Looking at his newborn daughter he was filled with an all-encompassing love that nothing could ever equal. \n\n''Eleanor, eh? I think I could get used to that.''" ]	1
	[WP] No one's been able to pull Excalibur out of the stone, but you have an idea: why not just break the stone?	[ "Overseer Kensington stood hunched over the conference table, both his palms flat on it. He let his gaze sweep across the entire research team before speaking.\n\n\"Full anti-compulsion gear is mandatory folks! Just came down from big guns upstairs. If we get a repeat of that ring fiasco she's cancelling the Christmas Party.\"\n\nArchmagus Johnson raised a hand. \"Boss, I thought we were supposed to call it the Solstice-Concurrent Party to not alienate our Heath-Oriented coworkers?\"\n\n\"Eat my ass Johnson.\" Overseer Kensington replied cheerfully. The whole team had a laugh. Johnson had his shit eating grin on. I wonder how many Pagans Johnson had burned alive during the First War? He used to be an Inquisitor. Still had the big \"I\" shaped brand over his heart.\n\nArchmagus Greenleaf spoke up. \"Johnson, If you draw the fertility idol again this year it will be the seventy-seventh time! That is very auspicious fortune.\" The team had another laugh. The \"fertility idol\" was a large stone penis covered in carvings of dancing penises. It had circulated through the research team's Christmas gift exchanges for about two centuries. Greenleaf swore it was an artifact of power handed down from his druidic order. I wonder how many Inquisitors he had skinned alive during the First War?\n\nOverseer Kensington stood up straight and clasped his hands behind his back. \"Alright folks, cocks aside, this is a serious matter. Lady Griselda herself personally showed up to my office to footstomp the gear compliance.\"\n\nThe whole team winced. Lady Griselda was supposed to be in the Ethereal Plane fighting the Demon incursion with her Orders Militant. She generally left day to day administration of the R and D teams to the Overseeers. Kensington nodded at our consternation and continued.\n\n\"Apparently one of her teams dragged this thing out of a lake of blood. They all went mad trying to pull it out of the stone. Whole team had to be purged. It sounded like she had to do the purging herself.\"\n\nSilence in the conference room now.\n\n\"That's right, folks.\" Kensington gave us a sardonic grimace. \"If it can happen to Paladins, it can happen to you. So were going full prophylactic. That means full body suits, HAZINFO innoculations, 2 days quarantine before and after, the works.\n\nThe team groaned as one.\n\n\n\"Deal with it.\" Kensington allowed a little humor to creep into his tone. \"At least you get to use the drill again eh, Pritchard?\" Now the team gets to laugh again, but this time at my expense. \n\nA while back our team had helped clear out a stone wyrm infestation for a Dwarven mining corporation. As thanks, their engineers had gifted us one of their fancy mithril drills. That monster could tear through damn near anything. I had had the brilliant idea to try it on one of the Rings of Power we kept in cold storage. That was the \"ring fiasco.\" I still didn't think it was fair to call it a fiasco, seeing as how no one died and the engineers had generously repaired the drill free of charge.\n\nAnd the ring was destroyed right? And this time we aren't even breaking up an artifact of power, just a really tough rock. It should be perfectly safe.\n", "As I approach the stone, I feel the weight of the night. The stone was displayed by the Mage on the town's place weeks - months - ago, but no one has been able to take the sword out of the rock. Hours ago, I finally decided to test my theory which was pretty obvious : if you can't pull Excalibur, why not simply break the stone ?!\n\nI start hitting on my chisel with hammer, and I suddenly realise the noise It will make, but I keep going, hoping nobody will have the motivation to come and see.\n\nAfter hours of exhausting work, the stone finally gives. The sword however, doesn't move an inch. It hovers exactly in the same place it was... I guess the Mage anticipated a smartass like me.", "With an exasperated sigh the man in front of me dropped the rope. It had been rapped around the hilt of Excalibur, the legendary sword in the stone. As he started walking away he looked at me and snickered. If he, with all his might couldn’t even make the sword budge, what would a tiny man like me accomplish?\n\n Ignoring his grin I stepped up to the stone and reached in my bag. Contestants who wished to attempt this feat were allowed a single assisting tool, the man before had chosen a rope. I chose a pickaxe. \n\nThis piqued the interest of some of the people in line behind me. How on earth would a pickaxe help, they wondered. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves, grasped the pickaxe tightly and lifted it above my head. \n\nCRACK! The sound echoed throughout the clearing, the sound of shattering rock. Grasping the sword with my hands now, I was able to wiggle it back and forth until I was able to pull it free, a large chunk of stone stuck to end of the blade. \n\nI held high above my head the item that marked me king. No longer Excalibur the holy sword from the lake, but Roxcalibur the holy mace of stone!", "\"No, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that actually,\" Merrill said,\n\n\"Says who?\" Artemis smiled widely at her, \"Swords the same no matter what, yeah?\"\n\n\"I mean,\" She started dispassionately, \n\n\"Exactly,\" Artemis interrupted, \"So the way I see it, no harm no foul,\"\n\nMerrill sighed and shot her a tired look, \"Look you can't actually believe that Arty,\"\n\n\"Why not?\" \n\n\"Do you know how long that has been stuck there?\" Merrill snapped, \"It's half the reason people even come to this town anymore,\"\n\n\"Yeah, maybe, but that's not saying much,\" Artemis leaned back in her chair, \"I mean, let's be real, who gives a shit about a sword that hasn't even budged in centuries,\"\n\n\"I dunno, I think that's part of the appeal,\" Merrill said wistfully, \"Kinda romantic in a way,\"\n\n\"I guess,\" Artemis took a large bite out of an apple, \"But doesn't a part of you wonder what happens if we get it out?\"\n\n\"Maybe a little,\" She reluctantly admitted, \"But it feels a bit like cheating, bypassing the test like this,\"\n\n\"Or the test was of wit and not strength,\" Artemis smirked, \"In that circumstance, I'd say I've passed with flying colors, no?\"\n\nMerrill let out a sigh of resignation, \"Fine, but we can't stay out too late, promised my ma I'd help her collect herbs in the morning.\"\n\n\"Aha, see I knew you were too curious to resist it,\" Artemis laughed, putting her free arm around her neck, \"Now, I just one more thing to ask,\"\n\n\"What?\" Merrill replied\n\nArtemis smiled devilishly at her, \n\n\"How many sticks of dynamite can you hide beneath that dress?\"" ]	4
	[WP] You were born only being able to see things in others peoples field of view. It's not that bad in places with lots of people but you can never be alone. One day while in a crowd you notice that someone is seeing something completely different from every one else, and what he sees scares you.	[ "\"Wooow, look at this. It's even fancier than the entrance.\" I switch from person to person, hoping to see every corner of the concert hall, before switching to my husband. I'm looking really amazed and excited, with a big smile on my face. \n\n\"Of course you'd ignore the hall and look at me instead.\" He quickly looks away towards the wall. I grab the opportunity and give him a playful shoulder bump. It catches him by surprise and he stumbles a bit before regaining his balance. \n\n\"You know I can't help it..\" I see him blush a bit as I switch to the neatly dressed woman behind us, looking at what she probably sees as indecent behaviour. \"You can look at me all you want during the concert. I'll switch to a better seat anyways.\" \n\nWe arrive at our seats and I start scouring the sights of what are at least two hundred people, trying to find the perfect spot to spectate from. Periodically switching back to my husband to see how ridiculously intense I'm staring ahead of me while the show hasn't even started yet. I settle on a seat on the front row.\n\n\"I feel sorry for this guy's neck. He has to look up for the whole show.\" I said while finally relaxing in my chair. \"Are you sure that's the best choice?\" my husband asked. \"He'll surely look down once in a while to rest.\" I let my sight loose from the front row. \"You have a point.\"\n\nAs I started searching again the curtains lifted and the orchestra appeared. The conductor gave an introductory speech. \"Drat, I haven't found anyone yet.\" My husband leaned over to me and whispered in my ear: \"What about the conductor? He's always looking at the orchestra. It's even better than front row.\"\n\nI switch over to the conductor and look at his feet. He's just bowed and is turning towards the orchestra. The sound in the hall dies down to dead silence. The audience and the orchestra are looking at me full of expectation. I can see every face, every instrument, every spark that comes up when he taps his baton to the rhythm of the song he's about to start.\n\nDUDUDU DUUUUN\n\nBefore I can realise the strangeness of that last observation, the iconic introduction of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony starts playing through the hall, exploding from the orchestra and filling every little corner of the hall. The vivid mixture of red an blue is bouncing off the walls, back onto the stage, where it passes by the instruments it came from and gets a new dose of fresh vigor and intensity. Almost seeming alive for a moment as it readies itself and charges towards me.\n\nDU DU DU DUUUUUUUN\n\nReflexively, I switch back to my husband, who is, as expected, looking right at me. The expression on my face is likely a shocked one, but it is obscured by my arms shielding it from.. nothing. The colors are gone. \n\nI lower my arms as I feel the soft touch of my husband on my shoulder. With concern yet also with curiosity clear in his voice he asks: \"What's wrong? What did you see?\"\n\nAs the introduction ends and the violins start playing I answer: \"A really bad case of synesthesia..\" \n\nHe keeps looking at me in concern.\n\n\"Now could you look at the stage please? I wanna watch through you.\" \n\n\n\n\n\n", "I wanted to see how the game worked -- I figured I could get a prize out of the carny and turn an irritating day around -- so I was changing perspectives, trying to find everyone who was looking in the general direction of the game when I saw it. \n\nThe sky had a crack. The guy looked away almost as soon as I saw it. He was busy buying a hot dog. Was he used to seeing that? The sky was ... breaking, and he was buying food?! \n\nCome on, come on, turn back around!\n\nThere! OK, I guess he's not too used to it. He's eating his hot dog and watching the crack. Watching it spread." ]	2
	[WP] A child encounters many friends in his daily lucid dreaming sessions. After being involved in an accident, the child loses all memory and it's up to his imaginary friends to help him recover them.	[ "An invisible battle waged inside the unconscious boy; his mother, father and sister huddled around his still body. The slightest movement or spike in his heart rate monitor would rouse the anxious family. \n\n\nThe boy, unaware that he was dreaming, swayed and cocked his head towards the crimson sky - was that normal? An acre of undisturbed heather surrounded him, and in the distance, he could see a castle.\n\n'Come on Sid.'\n\nThe boy whirled around. A teddy bear with a polka-dot bow tie, black stone eyes and matted fur, had its paw outstretched. A Snowman, twice the size of the bear, removed its top hat and bowed. The boy back-peddled, flattening tufts of heather as he retreated. \n\n'Take it easy.' The Snowman held its six stick fingers open to the boy. \n\n'You can both speak?' The boy swayed. \n\n'Naturally.' The Bear's furry mouth moved. \n\n'Look, you don't want to go that way.' \n\nThe boy turned to see he was backing towards the castle. The Bear and Snowman followed his flattened path but kept their distance. \n\n'Who are you? Who am I?' The boy said. He continued to slide away from the two oncoming strangers. \n\n'Please if you just stop we will explain everything.' The Snowman said. \n\nThe boy did not stop moving, he increased his pace. \n\n'Why can't I remember my name?' \n\n'Your name is Sid. Just please stop so we can talk about this!' \n\nSid noticed the Snowman speeding up, he turned away from the two pursuers and ran towards the castle. He was close now, close enough to see that the castle was made out of wood, it resembled a fort more than a castle. \n\nThree stick fingers closed around Sid's shoulder, he rolled his shoulder and ran faster. The hand remained on his shoulder, but its pulling pressure was gone. Sid looked back, for just a second and saw a one-armed Snowman on the ground. He continued to run and brushed off the twig. \n\n'Stop! You told us to do this!' The Bear's voice was strained, close to tears. \n\nSid was at the fort's door, a lopsided plank of wood with a hole for a handle. The fort was three times his height, and up close it looked to be falling apart. \n\n'Don't go inside.' \n\nSid hooked his index finger through the door's hole. \n\n'Why not?' \n\n'That is where the bad memories are kept.'\n\n'I don't understand.' Sid gently tugged at the door, it opened an inch and then he felt the pressure. The door slammed into him and tried to force itself open. The bear scrambled towards the door and halted its movement. \n\n'It's too late.' The Snowman said with its circular head bowed. 'Brace yourself.' \n\nThe Bear's arms caved, and the door exploded open. Smoke tendrils escaped the fort, they danced in the crimson sky and then plunged towards Sid. His back arched as the bad memories seeped into him. \n\n'I told you splitting memories was a bad idea.' The Snowman wept, water escaped his coal eyes.\n\n'Leave it to us Sid! We will get the good ones back.' \n\nThen they were gone. The Bear and Snowman disappeared into the darkness. Sid's eyes opened and flashed black before returning to their usual deep green. There was shouting all around him, wet lips hit his forehead and arms latched around his neck. Sid wished he had listened, he was left with nothing but hatred. When he looked at his parents, he saw nothing but their mistakes.\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Today you went to wake up your teenage daughter to find that she’s gone to another world. the same fantasy world you saved nearly 15 years ago. Now you decide to enter once more to save your daughter and to see some olds you haven’t seen in a long time.	[ "\"Lukas, have you seen Soleil?\" I yelled with a yawn.\n\n\"Nah, haven't seen her,\" Lukas responded. He was messing with his long dark hair tiredly. \"So, what's for breakfast.\"\n\n\"Kaiden, have you seen your sister?\" I asked. \n\n\"Beats me.\" Kaiden said. \n\n\"Maybe she decided to sneak out with Devon.\" Lukas said jokingly. \"Heh, Devon doesn't have the balls to do this.\"\n\nThe three of us began to look around, we yelled, we asked the neighbors, but nothing. It was as if she disappeared, this gave me a dangerous thought. I checked her room, magic residue. I never told her about magic. I never wanted her to be involved in all this madness. It was horrible that my wife was out right now. Lukas' parents were busy at the moment leaving it just to me.\n\n\"Ah, so we're going on a spell casting journey?\" Lukas asked. \"Alright then, let's go. We can ditch Kaiden.\"\n\n\"How did she even find out?\" I asked Lukas.\n\n\"Doesn't matter Uncle, there's a time to talk and-\" Lukas began to say.\n\n\"Time to take action.\" I finished coldly as I uttered my own words. I glanced at the ground as a rift in the ground opened up, just as I did nearly 23 years ago with my first adventure. I sighed, I hadn't been here since we killed the big bad 15 years ago almost. I couldn't hide the past anymore. Lukas and I jumped in unhesitatingly.\n\nWe landed in the Kingdom of Light, Lux Tenebris. Our old base, on edge of the kingdom's lands. The building was worn down, yet our stuff remained here. I picked up my old spell book. I glanced at it, and picked up some of my old armor. Arm guards, a sword sheath that I stopped using... the memories hit me back hard. I was only 15 when I first picked this us. I handed it to Lukas, his safety was the priority, I can defend myself with this spell book alone. \n\nWe headed out into the Kingdom, the King was giving a speech atop a platform. I took a glance as his blonde hair flowed in the wind. Lukas noticed my vague shock on my face as Lucian gave that speech. \n\n\"It's now time to punish this commoner, caught roaming around.\" King Lucian announced. He held a blade of light magic, ready to stab who was in his way. His blade was the the tip of the dirty blonde girl's neck. \"It's also a crime to bash into your King and only apologize with words. You also claimed to be a daughter of a bastard who allowed the Crown Prince to die.\"\n\n\"Soleil!\" Lukas yelled. \n\n\"What happened to you Lucian?\" I yelled from within the crowd. \"Sirius wouldn't want it this way!\" \n\n\"You!\" Lucian yelled. \"You're one of the so called heroes who let my brother die!\"\n\n\"He gave his life for the cause!\" I yelled back.\n\n\"It's a daughter for a brother!\" Lucian yelled. \n\n\"I get Soleil, you get this doof.\" Lukas sighed.\n\nI boosted in the air with my first wind spell, and for my second, I knocked Lucian back. With them being as close as they were, Soleil was also hit, and it knocked her into a pole, knocking her out. Lukas jumped onto the platform and grabbed held Soleil. Lucian got up once more, and a memory flashed across my mind. \n\nOur ultimate foe standing there, I was behind holding Lucian tight, and Sirius stood there, calmly and elegantly, ready to defend his family and friends. I did the same as Lucian's brother and was ready to not allow the past to repeat with us.\n\nNotes: I like this prompt. Probably did bad. Constructive criticism welcome.", "Debbie Carter looked at her alarm clock. 1.22 p.m. She yawned. She'd only slept for four hours after her night shift at the hospital. Luckily Sarah was home to watch her younger siblings. Summer vacation always saw a steady decline in babysitter costs, she thought with a slight pang of guilt. \n\nShe walked downstairs to find Daniel and Rebecca coloring at the dinner table. She looked around. No sign of her eldest daughter. \n\n''Where is your sister?''\n\n''She went to Jonah's house across the street'', Daniel said without looking up from his paper.\n\nJonah. Of course. She spent every free moment with that boyfriend of hers. She understood, actually. Especially after the loss of their friend Gerald, they'd grown closer and closer. But to leave her siblings unsupervised like this? That was unlike Sarah. She'd always been a very responsible girl. She had to be, after the divorce. Debbie shook her head. Best not to think about that. \n\n''How long ago did she leave?''\n\nDaniel looked up from his paper to look at the clock. ''About three hours ago.''\n\n''THREE HOURS AGO?!'' \n\nNorah was surprised to hear frantic knocking on her door. She and her husband had been enjoying their day off in perfect peace and quiet so far. Reluctantly, she got up from her lawn chair. \n\nHer surprise only grew when she saw it was her neighbor, red and panting and with a look of panic in her eyes.\n\n''Is Sarah with you?''\n\n''No she isn't. She has been here earlier this morning. She said she and Jonah were going over to your house to watch her siblings.'' She paused for a moment. ''So...you're saying they're not with you?''\n\n''No! I just woke up after my night shift. Daniel told me they left three hours ago!''\n\nPanic started rising in Norah's chest. At that moment she noticed her husband's car was missing from the driveway. ''STAN?'', she yelled towards the garden. Her husband casually walked towards the front door, still in a state of lazy bliss. ''Yeah?'' \n\n''Where is your car?''\n\n''Jonah asked me to borrow it this morning. He said he and Sarah wanted to go buy some candy for the children. It's probably parked at Sarah's house.'' Only then did he notice Sarah's mother standing in the doorway.\n\n''No it isn't! Sarah and Jonah have been gone for three hours now!''\n\nThe seriousness of the situation dawned on all three of them. ''Where could they possibly have gone?'' \n\nSuddenly Debbie's eyes lit up in understanding. ''Oh God. I think I know...''\n\n-------------------------------------------\nThree hours earlier:\n\n''Man, this summer is so boring'', Sarah said as she stretched, lying on the grass in her mother's garden. ''It's just not the same without Gerald.''\n\n''Yeah I know.'' Jonah turned her head towards her. ''Don't you usually go back to Texas in the summer?''\n\n''Yeah, to visit my uncle Michael. You know, the one with the Japanese wife?''\n\n''Yeah.'' \n\n''A while ago, he texted my mom that the whole family was going to Japan. She hasn't heard from them since. She's really worried, actually. But yeah. It means no Texas for me this summer.''\n\n''Doesn't your dad still live in Texas?''\n\nSarah grew silent.\n\n''I think he does'', she finally spoke. ''But I really don't know. I haven't seen him since the divorce.''\n\n''Six years ago.''\n\n''Six years ago. I would've liked to, but mom forbade me from seeking contact with him. And he didn't seek contact with me. As far as I know at least. Maybe he did, but maybe my mom intercepted it.'' \n\nJonah pondered it for a moment. ''You know, I think I kind of understand your mom in this situation. She left him when she was eight months pregnant with Rebecca. She must've had some pretty good reasons.'' \n\n''I know that. I know he's no saint. And believe me, I'm angry. I have been angry for six years. But...'' She paused to think for a moment. ''He's still my dad, you know? I want to get to know him. I want him to have a role in my life.'' Tears welled up in her eyes. ''Almost every night, I lie awake thinking about him. What is his life like? Does he even miss me?'' \n\nJonah pulled her in for a hug. He wiped away her tears and softly stroked her cheek while they lay together in silence.\n\n''I have an idea!'' Jonah suddenly spoke up. ''Why don't we go find your dad?'' \n\nWhen Sarah didn't immediately respond, he continued: ''It's summer vacation. We have nothing to do. You wanted to go to Texas anyway. And most importantly, this will get you your dad back. Or at least, it will give you closure.'' \n\n''I'd love to. But Jonah...we live in Oregon. Texas is at least a 24 hour drive from here!''\n\n''Like I said, it's vacation. We have time.''\n\n''We don't have a car.''\n\n''We'll borrow my dad's.''\n\n''Will he just let you?''\n\n''No, but I'll think of an excuse.''\n\n''We don't even know where he lives!''\n\n''We'll figure it out. We'll check his social media. The phone book if necessary.''\n\n''But...I have to watch my brother and sister. I promised my mom.''\n\n''Sarah, Daniel is almost ten. He doesn't need a babysitter. He can watch Rebecca for a few hours until your mom wakes up.''\n\nSarah looked doubtful as she weighed the arguments. A determined smile appeared on her face. ''Let's do this.''\n\nPart 2 coming!\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------\nHow Jonah met Sarah:\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7wnfnx/wp_you_were_just_planning_to_confess_to_your/du1vaqo/ \n\nWhat happened to their friend Gerald:\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7xey92/wp_a_close_friend_or_relative_has_passed_away_in/du8biac/ \n\nThe adventures of Sarah's uncle Michael: \nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7wmf4h/wp_you_have_sent_your_daughters_to_the_same/du2oqx8/ ", "When Shona opened the door she could not believe her eyes.\n\n\"Lord Reginald!\" Shona instantly realized she was still in her bedclothes and made to cover herself, then she realized whose presence she was in and tried to fix her hair, cover her unwashed face, clean the sleep from her eyes, undo twenty years of age, and cover herself simultaneously.\n\nThis lead to about thirty seconds of complete flustered action while Sir Reginald stood there smiling.\n\nHe was older now, but so was Shona. His fair hair had thinned and was peppered with grey. He still had a strong face and a kind eyes, but the eyes were filled with the tiredness of one who had grown into his life. Shona remembered when those eyes would sparkle...\n\n\"It...it has been a long time.\" Shona finally said as she pulled the quilt from the foot of her bed and wrapped it around herself to protect her decency. \"I thought you had left for... for good, my lord.\"\n\n\"Shona.\" Sir Reginald gave Shona a big, welcoming hug. \n\nShe dropped the quilt.\n\n\"We are both too old and too good of friends to speak with such formalities.\" Reginald pulled back. \"Call me Reggie as you once did.\"\n\n\"But...\"\n\n\"Please.\" Reggie moved over to the bed and sat down heavily. Weight of time and responsibility pushed his shoulders toward the earth. \"A favor for an old man?\"\n\n\"If my lord is old then I would cower in the face of what that should make me of myself.\" Shona picked up the quilt and spared a small glare toward Reggie. \"Why are you here? Now, of all times?\"\n\n\"Here in Fellista? Or here in your bedroom?\" \n\nShona smacked Reggie in the face with the quilt. Sir Reginal fought back bravely, but without much vigor.\n\n\"I came for my daughter.\" Reggie explained after old smiles had passed. \"She turned sixteen a week ago. She vanished in that certain way, so I knew where she had to have gone.\"\n\n\"Your daughter!\" Shona sat heavily on the bed next to Sir Reginald. He was here, in her house, sitting next to her on her bed. Twenty years ago, Shona would have been the happiest maiden...\n\n\"So you married.\"\n\n\"I did.\"\n\n\"Is she...\"\n\n\"She's wonderful.\"\n\n\"I see.\"\n\n\"And you?\"\n\nShona shook her head. How could she tell him? How could she express that after meeting someone from another world, after hearing about women free to be adventurers and conquerors of their own destiny, how could she find a man of the quality she now held them up to? No, no man had ever compared. No man ever could because she had built herself a shining knight in her mind, a perfect mark that no one could surpass. Now he sat down on her bed and reminded her that he wasn't a dream, he had been just a boy then as well.\n\n\"No, my lord.\"\n\n\"And the kingdom?\"\n\n\"It fares well.\" Shona pulled the quilt tighter around her shoulders. \"King Gamn still sits upon the throne. He sends me letters and gifts on the new year and I respond in kind. The Esterns stir and fight and clamor for war but the king holds them fast. There was plague in Kimo last year, but Gamn organized a relief and the town is prospering again.\"\n\n\"He's done well.\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\nShona stared at the hard wood floor of her bedroom. Her only room, really. It wasn't everyone who could live in a single room in an inn for years, but some of the best times in Shona's life had been in tiny rooms like this. She'd always felt happier here.\n\n\"Have you heard any rumors? Anything that might be connected to my daughter being here?\"\n\nShona thought for a long time. Living in an inn did have the advantage of being literally on top of the rumor mill. She heard story after story every day as she worked the counter. Sorting through them all took time and focus.\n\n\"Is she... I mean, some children do misbehave... and some girls are a bit...\"\n\n\"Is she a pain in my arse, you mean?\"\n\nShona stifled a laugh and nodded.\n\nReggie sighed heavily and joined in Shona's floor-staring.\n\n\"She's sixteen. She's entitled, angry, just smart enough to lie well and just stupid enough to lie for all the wrong reasons. She steals and drinks and screams... and my wife is about ready to kill her.\" \n\n\"Then I may be able to help.\"\n\nReggie lifted both his head and his eyebrows.\n\nShona shrugged and tried not to blush under Reggie's stare. She was too old for such foolishness. \n\n\"There was a 'sorceress' captured over in Hember two days back. Tried to drink and not pay, then tried to run on them. When she was caught she tried to use some fancy magic from her hand, but dropped her magic stone in the mud because she had drank quite her fill that night.\"\n\nReggie's groan was all the confirmation that Shona needed.\n\n\"Shona, thank you...oh, and one more thing I would ask of you as your lord.\"\n\nShona straightened up. \"Yes, my lord?\"\n\n\"Never have a daughter.\" Reggie patted her on the shoulder, \"Trust me in this.\"" ]	3

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