Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
Based on an actual pot I saw at goodwill. Cheers!	[WP] Write the story of a small cooking pot that looks like it's gone through hell and back.	[ "'Your pot is disgusting. You are disgusting.' She said. 'You should throw it out already.'\n\n'What, this thing?' I banged the cooking pot with my spoon. 'Not a chance. This thing would survive a nuclear apocalypse!'\n\n'So would cockroaches!' \n\n'Listen, this is not up for debate. The pot stays. It's a family heirloom.'\n\n'George. Lockets are family heirlooms. Swords are family heirlooms. Pots are not. Family. Heirlooms.'\n\n'Well, this one is.'\n\n'WHY? What kind of demented family has a pot for a heirloom?'\n\n---------\n\n'Cassie, did you know you have a pot down here?' He shouted from the basement. 'Like, a really old pot. You should throw it out.'\n\n'Yeah, right!' I said. 'That thing has been in my family for generations. It would survive a nuclear apocalypse. I'm not gonna go in history as the one who finally threw it out.'\n\n'It looks like it's been to hell.' He said as he came up the stairs.\n\n'Might have been. Like I said, it's indestructible or something. We sing songs about it. Well, not really, but there are stories.'\n\n'Stories?' He asked as he came through the basement door.\n\n'Yeah, like, there was this one time- George! No running with scissors!'\n\n------\n\n'Honey, have you seen Cassie?'\n\n'Nope.'\n\n'Oh. Have you seen the anscestral pot?'\n\n'Nop- wait what?'\n\n'The pot? Been in my family since like the dawn of time?'\n\n'Oh, that old thing? No idea.'\n\n'Huh.'\n\n'Mom! Mom look!' Cassie said as she ran into the room, wearing a blanket as a cape and the pot as a hat. 'I'm- I'm a knight!'\n\n'Cassandra! Do you have any idea how long that pot has been in our family? You can't just- Hand it over, right now!'\n\n'But moooom' She said, gripping the pot tightly. 'It's my helmet! I need it for the dragons!'\n\n'Tell you what young lady.' I said as I crouched and placed my hands on hers. 'Why don't you let me have it and in return I'll tell you story about it. There's no knights and dragons, but as close as it gets to it.'\n\n----------------\n\nThere was an explosion in the distance, which meant I was awake. I stirred and felt pain all over my body. Which meant I was alive. I groaned and opened my eyes. I was in a ruined house. One of the walls was almost completely gone.\n\n'You hungry?' Someone asked. I looked up and saw a soldier crouched by a small fire with a tattered cooking pot hanging over it.\n\n'What?' I managed to asked, still confused as to what was going on.\n\n'Hi. I'm Charlie. Pulled you out of the rubble.' He said, nodding towards a hole in the wall. Outside I could see what was left of my home. It wasn't much. 'Bad news is I got separated from my unit, and my radio is busted, so no idea what we're going to do next. Good news is things are actually almost calm out there right now, and the food's almost ready. So, I ask again, you hungry?'\n\nI looked at the pot. If the inside looked only half as bad as the outside, it still wasn't good enough to make the idea of eating something cooked there appealing. \n\nI heard another explosion in the distance and sighed.\n\n'Yes, I'm hungry.'\n\n------------\n\n'Here, look.' I said as I took out the pot. 'Take this thing, for example. Been in our family for generations.'\n\n'So?' My son asked, shrugging. Teenagers.\n\n'So, do the math, what do you think that means?'\n\n'I don't know. Who cares?'\n\n'Charlie. What's the oldest thing you know?'\n\n'Dunno, Mrs. Hollis?' He said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes, but decided to go with it.\n\n'Right, and why is that?'\n\n'Cause she's a dinosaur or something.'\n\n'Charlie.'\n\n'I don't know what you want me to say dad! And I don't get why this has anything to do with anything! She's the oldest thing I know because she was born like a hundred years ago!'\n\n'Yes! And what happened a hundred years ago?'\n\n'What do you- oh.'\n\n'Yeah.'\n\n'So that pot...'\n\n'Uh huh.'\n\n'Wow.'\n\n'Exactly.' I said. 'And the question is, a hundred years from now, what's going to be left of us? Of you? What stories? What legacy do you want to leave? Is there going to be anything left? Or just a pot?'\n\n-------------\n\n'Mom! Mooom!' \n\nI rushed into the room to see my son holding the pot tightly with both of his hands.\n\n'There's someone outside, mom.' He said.\n\n'It's okay, honey.' I said. 'It's going to be okay. Give me that.'\n\nI took the pot from his hands and looked at it. It looked like hell. Everything did, of course, but this pot was in a especially bad shape - I thought it was weird, until I remembered the story my mother told me about her father, and suddenly it made sense.\n\nI heard something outside and looked out the window.\n\n'Just some wild dogs, honey.' I said as I saw them wander into one of the old ruins. 'Just some wild dogs.'\n\n------------------\n\nThe boy walked the empty streets. He hadn't eaten in days, and he was low on water. He hadn't seen anyone since...\n\n...since he'd left the shelter. His mother had left to look for help, and she'd never returned. He waited for days, longer than he should have. He waited until he couldn't wait anymore, until he had no hope left.\n\nAnd since then he'd been wandering the streets, looking for anything that could help him survive. He looked into his backpack. With his rations gone, all he had left was the pot he'd used to cook them.\n\nJust a pot.\n\nIt would have to do." ]	1
	[WP] You buy A unique glass chess set and upon returning home, you set up the game and make a few moves for fun having nobody else to play with you leave it be, these moves have a direct connection with real life people and events	[ "Frank looked down at the frosted chess set. He'd picked up the set at a car boot yesterday afternoon for a steal, and set it up last night, going through the opening moves. He grimaced as he moved the black bishop to take the white queen. It hadn't been the best game for the whites, but he was only playing against himself, and wanted to finish the game before work.\n\nHe glanced over at the TV, catching some of what the reporter had been saying. \"... The shocking murders last night are all everyone is talking about.\" Interested, he left the game and turned the volume up. \"...very own Karen Jones is on the scene. What can you tell us Karen?\".\n\"Well John, this is looking to be the largest string of killings in London since Jack the Ripper, and certainly some of the weirdest. The metropolitan police are appealing for witnesses, and from what we have heard it's possible that the CCTV footage has been altered, though the met has refused to confirm so far. What we do know is that late last night 14 employees at 8 pawn shops across the capital were brutally murdered. Early reports describe the scenes as bloodbaths. There's movement here, looks like we're about to receive a statement.\"\n\"Thank you Karen. We'll go back to the studio and take this opportunity to repeat the other shocking news of the night. A home invasion gone wrong, a national icon slain in his own home. Tributes are flooding in from around the globe for veteran actor Sir Patrick Stewart. Sir Stewart was shot at home last night by 41 year old Josef Amagunye. Sir Stewart was hosting a charity gala at his home when Mr Amagunye, a birdkeeper for London Zoo, entered the property wielding an air rifle. Mr Amagunye fired a shot into the crowd, before being tackled by Sir Ian McKellen, who was tragically unable to prevent his friend from being shot. Both men were taken to St Mary's hospital, where they were pronounced dead just after midnight.\"\n\nShaking his head, Frank just stared at the TV in disbelief. What a start to the day, though he had a niggling feeling something was familiar about all this. Maybe he'd met that Amagunye fellow somewhere, he'd visited the zoo last week after all. He turned his attention back to the screen, where the scene had switched to the news reporter detailing the killings.\n\n\"Yes John, that's been confirmed for us now; it probably comes as no surprise that the Metropolitan police believe this to be the work of a serial killer. They believe that the crime scenes have all been staged with meticulous care, and no eyewitnesses have come forward yet. As you can see, the newspapers are already running with the headlines now: the Mail leads with 'BRITONS MURDERED: GOVERNMENT REFUSES TO COMMENT ON REFUGEES', while the Guardian makes a play on the staged nature of the scenes and their location '14 DEAD AS MET APPEAL FOR INFORMATION ABOUT CHESSMASTER MURDERS'.\"\n\nFrank choked on his drink as he felt a chill run down his spine. He quickly looked at the chess set. It couldn't be. He counted the fallen pawns at the side. 14. Then there, the white knight. He remembered last night, one of his final moves, black rook to F6, then the second White Knight to F6. Was he the Chessmaster? Had he done this somehow? Then he remembered his last move this morning, staring at the White Queen. \"Oh. Fuck.\"" ]	1
	[WP] Desperate bedside prayers and forbidden love...	[ "Tasha was asleep already. She was a lightweight at sleepovers, ever since they were little. Emma smiled to herself. Here Tasha was at 16 and still out like a light by nine. \n\nWith a pang of guilt, Emma recognized how beautiful Tasha looked. Her long, black hair was scattered across her pillow. Her soft lips were barely parted and her dark eyelashes flickered as she dreamed. Emma watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed and felt a lump in her throat. \n\n\"Father,\" Emma whispered so softly, she could barely hear her own voice, \"Why did you do this to me?\"\n\nA little tear caught on her eyelash and slid down her cheek. \n\nTasha was a her best friend. Emma had first tried denying the feelings. So many people at church said it was a choice; that people don't really feel this way - they just want attention. Emma knew that wasn't right. She hadn't told anyone and she never wanted to - attention was the last thing on her mind. \n\nThe small minority said it wasn't a choice, but it was still a sin. \n\nTasha rolled around and mumbled something nonsensical in her sleep. Emma felt a blush creep across her face. \n\n\"Why did you make me this way?\" Tasha silently prayed. \"Is it a punishment? Will it go away?\"\n\nIt's not a choice, but acting on it is. \"I can love her, as long as I don't act on it, right?\" Tasha asked God. No answer.\n\n\"It is love,\" she continued, \"I know everyone says it's lust, but you know it's love, right, Father? You know my heart.\" Another tear escaped. \"I've loved her for a year and I think she loves me, too.\"\n\nEmma stared hard and the ceiling and more tears forced their way out, \"I just don't know what to do. What do you want me to do? Why did you give her to me? Is this a test?\"\n\n\"Hey,\" Tasha's whisper startled Emma and she let out a quiet sniff, \"Are you - why are you crying?\" She sat half up to look at Emma, her eyebrows arched with concern. They looked at each other too long. It was just too long. Emma fell into Tasha's eyes and everything crashed.\n\n\"I'm sorry, Father.\"\n\nShe kissed her. " ]	1
Don't care which. Just do it.	[WP] Write your own iteration of an ancient Greek/Roman myth/epic.	[ "“My friends, my countrymen!” bellowed Menelaus. “Lend me your ears!” The man walked around the inner ring of the amphitheatre, resplendent in a golden chlamys, a rectangle of purest white cloth dyed gold, fastened by a brooch on Menelaus’ right shoulder. All eyes followed King Menelaus, high lord of the kings of Greece, fastened onto his wondrous attire or his resplendent bronze xiphos, a short sword. Both accoutrements were fit for a god, which Menelaus surely thought of himself as. Menelaus continued to stride around the center of the amphitheatre, waiting until all the attention of the squabbling minor kings of Greece was focused upon him.\n\nHe looked up at the mass of men sitting in front and around him, languidly laying upon the stone, semicircular rows, feasting upon legs of lamb or amphoras of wine. Most were drunkards, content to be invited to a celebration to curry favor with their overlord. But some…..some were trickier to handle. He felt Odysseus, the trickster king of Ithaca, stare at him. No, some of the lords assembled were wary, and for good reason; they did not usually get invited into a grand council like this unless war was imminent. And, Menelaus thought with a grin, war was certainly imminent. He readied himself, feeling his brother Agamemnon’s bolstering gaze. He looked back at Agamemnon, nodded and obtained a reassuring nod in return, and then addressed the unruly, childish lot that were the kings of Greece.\n\n\n“My friends!” roared Menelaus, a yell met with claps and applause from some of the already inebriated rulers who had helped themselves to a little too much wine.\n“My friends, you have all heard of the truce with Troy, have you not?”\nThe kings grumbled in agreement, a dull roar. They had all sacrificed some soldiers to take part in the brutal naval skirmishes against the kingdom of Troy. Greece was small, but had a capable navy; and under the leadership of High King Menelaus and General Agamemnon, they put up a strong fight against the vastly overwhelming numbers of the Trojan navy. The war was short, ending in a truce. The kings went back to their lands, and the peasants mourned the lost. Menelaus felt both Odysseus and King Agda watch his moves intently; they had both lost many troops in the war, and were staunch political opponents of Menelaus. And yet, even they were not the ones Menelaus had truly set out to snare; no, his interest was upon the son of battles, the indomitable Achilles, seated upon the highest row of the amphitheatre next to his brother Patroclus. They looked interested, if not entertained.\n\n“After years of war, we bested the scoundrels and made our peace. And a good peace, no?”\n\nThe kings nodded and mumbled yes; the oversea trade with Troy was rich and profitable.\n\nMenelaus turned his back to the audience and gazed at the statue of Zeus that stood directly outside the amphitheatre.\n“And yet, we have been lax. Our true enemies- those Trojans- have pretended to be complacent, just so they could strike at the perfect, back-stabbing moment!”\nAll the attention was focused upon Menelaus, as the sun set and the violet clouds shed dark illuminated by the light of the central bonfire. All was silent.\n\n“Last festival of Zeus, ten-and-one days ago, I invited the princes of Troy, Hector and Paris, to my own palace to enjoy the blessings of the thunder god. Last festival of Zeus, my guests betrayed me!”\nThere was a palpable sense of outrage from the assembled crowd. Menelaus grinned inwardly, taking care to maintain the delicately crafted mask of sorrow, anger and pain upon his face. Guest and host relationships were taken seriously by the kings; a host was obligated by divine boundaries set by the gods to be hospitable to the guests, and the guests were bound by those same boundaries to be lawful and kind during their stay. Lack of doing so was heresy, punishable by flogging or death. He was playing the kings like Hermes on a lyre; and by the pantheon, he’d do it well!\n\n“The glorified prince of Troy, that dog Paris, stole my wife! Stole Helen, the embodiment of beauty! And his accomplice that snake, that Hector, aided them and escaped on a ship!”\n\nThey had done no such thing, of course; Menelaus had sent Helen with Paris and Hector, without letting anyone else know. Trade with Troy was good; but an excuse for conquering their land would be even better…….\nThe kings were up on their feet now, yelling and shouting, their sweaty, drunk faces and heaving bulks shining from the light of the fire under the moonlit sky.\n\n“Kings, I ask you now to join me. Join me in taking back my wife, ridding the godless scoundrels of Troy! I will bring you loot, women, riches, glory! We shall conquer!”\nThe kings rose up, exclaiming promises, wolfing down food, and exploding into excitement and drunken laughter as the night lengthened. The midnight bell rung twice, signaling the end of the assembly, and the kings went to their temporary estates to sleep, if only to come back to the amphitheatre the following day to reconvene and make an official decision. Menelaus did not care for the majority; he knew they would follow him. But Achilles… the legend was notorious for his volatility and strength. If Achilles did not come, many kings might second guess their decisions.\n\n“Ho, Achilles!”\n\nAchilles looked back at Menelaus, a curious look upon his young face.\n\n“My lord?”\n\n“Will you be joining me upon this crusade? We could use your prowess, Achilles.”\n\nAchilles looked to the side.\n\n“No, my lord. I cannot. I must care for Patroclus, my brother. I would not force him into war.”\n\n“Then leave him here!”\n\n“Where, my lord? We are orphans. I cannot abandon my flesh and blood. Besides, \nI have no quarrel with those of Troy; I will not kill those with whom I have no fault. I am sorry.”\n\nAchilles walked off, Patroclus by his side. Menelaus walked dejectedly under the moonlight. Without Achilles, he had no compelling military reason for the kings to fight beside him. Already, he could see King Agda talking to other kings, garnering support for a nonviolent approach to discourse with Troy. Menelaus could not let that happen. If it did, if his treachery was found out-- An idea struck him, standing before the statuette of Ares. He gestured Agamemnon over.\n\n“Brother, how would I contact an assassin?”\n\nThe next day, Menelaus was woken from his sleep by screaming and yelling. He ran out the door, smiling inwardly, for he knew what was about to happen. Achilles was kneeling in the courtyard, carrying the bloody, mutilated body of Patroclus. He was screaming and roaring at the other kings, demanding to know the identity of the murderer, ranting and raving--\n\n“Achilles, Achilles,” spoke Agamemnon. “ We will find the murderer. What king is not assembled here? What king has taken this moment to flee and hide?” The murmurs were quiet, and then the shouting broke out. Agda. It started as a bold whisper, but strengthened. Agda, Agda! The assembled ventured into Agda’s room, only to find the king sleeping (drugged by Menelaus’s assassin) and holding a bloody dagger with the insignia of Troy. Achilles ignored logical thought and ran straight for Agda, pulling out his xiphos to administer his justice. Menelaus looked away. Achilles walked up to Menelaus silently, staring him in the eyes.\n\n“You have my sword.”\n\nMenelaus nodded, and Achilles walked away. The high king of Greece felt like the gods had blessed him. Soon, he would have his war. Soon." ]	1
	[WP] On a bet, a superhero and supervillain switch places for the day.	[ "It stood tall over the two men, dark and strong, powerful, its Eyes white. I'd heard the stories of course and they all said the same thing, If you'd done nothing wrong, you had Nothing to fear from the batman. \n\nBut much as I wanted to thank him to cry and gush at my saviour, he turned, and the way he moved... it was wrong. His strides were too long, his legs too thin. it had the shape of a man, but stretched out too much, too thin.\n\nI looked up into its mask, no flesh was visible, just teeth. far bigger and more numerous than any human mouth. it stared at me. \n\nI said \"thank you\".\n\nIt replied \n\"No Problem. I'll see you again tomorrow\" " ]	1
	[WP] Instead of the witch hunts, church officials were hunted by sorcerers. It is now present day, how do you spend your days.	[ "The screams downstairs float in agony, begging to be heard, a suffering unfit for ears. My old age hits me and nostalgia breeches its gaps. My mind escapes to a time long ago. The screams float. The world bends, shimmers and breaks from memory.\n\n\nLong ago my people were servants of God. We spread His word. We did His work. The world then was dark and unkind, cruel and Satanic. It was the price to pay for heaven, the challenge to beg for mercy. The world then was dark.\n\n\nMy forefathers were tortured. Death came slowly, but always with their immediate taunt, their overbearing promise. For Godly men, death was like the cross, worn always for a greater good.\n\n\nMy father was a man of God. His father before him. Many generations back. There are stories passed on that would seem legend, a fiction of the gullible. My family is old. My family suffered much.\n\n\nMy great grandfather, in that time of antiquity, in that time of simplicity, was burned at the stake, his charred bones strung up on the cross. He was a preacher. He was a Godly man. But the devil's minions were easily seduced and they possessed dark powers beyond the light. Such powers overcome my great grandfather. Such powers led to his suffering. \n\n\nHe was killed with my grandfather only a child. He was burned as Lucifer himself was burned. Such a disgrace! The world's injustice has shone brightly on my family.\n\n\nAnd so it has been ever since. Truth be told, those days hold some nostalgia for me. I wonder of the times when things were so transparent. When things were so black and white. These days there are no sorcerers. These days, church going folk like myself are more simple. We are no longer knights of God, but only His peasants. The crusades are over. The Great Conversions have passed.\n\n\nThe world is too preoccupied and the magic is lost. I miss the simpler times.\n\n\nThe screams echo below and I feel sad, an intense melancholy. The man dying, the man slowly being cooked in oil has no idea of his heritage. He is simply my neighbor. God works in mysterious ways. His kind has hunted God fearing innocents like my family for centuries. His kind has spread the seeds of the Devil throughout the unsaved world. His kind is long over due to suffer. Yet he knows nothing.\n\n\nA twang of regret fills me. It is the Devil's work. I listen to his screams and focus on the pleasure. I am doing good. I only lament this modern world. This world that cares not for God nor the Godly struggle. Five hundred years ago I would be hailed a hero for boiling this heretic. Now I do it amongst apathy and secrecy. God's goodwill is my only reward. It is enough. His screams fill my ears." ]	1
	[WP] You are a ceo of a company that manufactures Mirrors, solar panels and you also have subsidiaries in a garlic farm and cross manufacturer, when one night a bunch of pale figures in all black with red eyes visit your office.....	[ "The man with the red eyes neither spoke nor stirred as he sat, arms folded, in the leather chair on the far side of my office. I don't know how he got into my office, or even how long he's been here, but when I looked up from my computer screen there he was... silently staring at me. The shadows of the room hiding most of his face except his eyes. His eyes are fixed on me like two glowing red embers. I can't tell who he is... but I know what he is.\n\nNever speak first. Always make the other guy show his cards before you show yours. These were the words my father, the self-proclaimed expert negotiator, hammered into my head. But my father never had to sit across from this man with glowing red eyes. His stillness is as unnatural as it is unsettling. I can't stop my damn fingers from fidgeting and this man is a freaking statue. \n\nMy mind goes back to the dumb question people would always ask me: \"You don't really believe in them, do you?\" No. No, I don't. It's weak, but I get the joke. On the surface, our company does have a strangely diverse business portfolio. Mirrors, solar, garlic, crosses. Connect the dots and yeah it sounds batshit crazy. But here's the thing that people don't get, I don't give a shit about vampires. I give a shit about making money. \n\nMy grandfather started a mirror company in 1957. When my father took over the family business he tried to sell mirrors to the solar industry (or as he called it \"the industry of the future\"). No dice there - the tech didn't work. But my father, a man who never let an idea die, said \"fuck it\" and bought our future cash cow, Star Light Solar Company. \n\nSpeaking of cows, the farm was another of my father's brilliant ideas. By living and operating our businesses from a working form we graciously allowed Uncle Sam to pay more than half our taxes for years. That loophole closed, but the farm still makes a profit. Sure, it grows garlic. It also grows potatoes, spinach, and kale... but folks don't make smart-ass comments about those. \n\nThe Christian trinkets? That one was for my wife... mostly. She always felt like we didn't \"honor God\" with our business. So, investing in that online Christian do-dad re-seller really seemed to put her at ease. Plus, the markup on those little crosses is ridiculous.\n\nI actually keep a handful of those crosses in the top drawer of my desk. Not that I put much stock into them. I've never been religious. I keep them there because they are good to show clients. Let them see and hold the products. Also, it never hurts to play up the Christian angle. \n\nBut, right now, in the silent tension, I really want one of them in my hands. Would it protect me? My mind races. These crosses are made of pewter. Don't they have to be made of sterling silver to work? Wait. Isn't silver is a werewolf thing? Well, it would be better than nothing. It's not like I have a basket of garlic laying around.\n\nThe silence is getting unbearable. The man with the red eyes hasn't moved a muscle. I don't even this he's breathing. But somehow, his eyes are even more intense. It hurts my eyes to look into them, but I can't pull my gaze away. Fear keeps my eyes locked on his. At least I'm telling my self it's fear and not something I can't explain.\n\nAs the silence grows so does an atmosphere of malevolence. As each minute passes, I feel more and more that the man with the red eyes wants nothing good of me. While he isn't speaking, he is breathlessly communicating intense anger through his stare. \n\nWithout breaking eye contact, I subtlety slip my hands into my top drawer of my office desk. My hands, unaccustomed to working independently of my eyes, feel their way through the drawer contents. Stapler... calculator... fuck. Why don't I have these crosses hanging on my wall or something? That would have kept this guy from sneaking in, right? Sticky notes... ah... got it!\n\nI finger the edges of the cross until it's in my palm and slowly bring it to my lap. It's a Celtic design, made of pewter, and about 3.5 inches tall. It'll have to do.\n\nThough I still don't believe in it, the having the cross in my hand actually manages to calm my nerves just enough that I can focus my mind on who I am. My father would roll over in his grave if he saw his son shaken any confrontation. No, that's not who I was raised to be. \n\nGaze still fixed, I muster the strength to remove all fear from my eyes and take a deep breath. Holding the metal cross in both hands like the saints in old paintings, I rest my arms upon my desk and flash my best negotiator's smile.\n\n\"I suppose you're not here to buy these?\"\n\nSilence. Damn. Why couldn't I have said something better? I don't even know if he heard me. I don't even know if it's alive. \n\nI'm about to open my mouth again when a movement breaks the stillness like glass. The man with the red eyes leans in just enough to reveal his familiar face from the shadows. Three words. \n\n\"Never speak first.\" " ]	1
	[WP] A child playing outdoors finds a door in the middle of the woods. To anyone else, it's just a piece of abandoned wood, but with a bit of imagination...	[ "My childhood was a nightmare you remembered in painstaking detail and tried to forget. No one loved me. I was all alone. Until one day I walked into the woods. Further Further trying to get away from it all. After walking for hours on end I colapsed. My tired eyes spotted a small wooden door on a tree. I fell asleep next to the door with fairies twirling all around me. For once in my life I felt safe. The next days I sat there with the fairies playing having a time of my life. The fairies brought me food and showed me a stream I could drink from. The fairies were a family I never had. I stayed with the fairies for an awfully long time until one day a tall man came by. He stepped all over the fairies garden. Crushing them all under his boot. I was furious how could someone be so ruthless. He reached out and lifted my shivering malnourished body off the ground. I tried to twist out of his grip but I was too tired and he too strong. I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I know I am in an armchair in front of a fire. Time passes and I begin to trust him. He was a loving Father I never had. Yesterday I turned 17 and he showed me where he found me shivering next to an old rotting piece of wood leaning against a great old tree. " ]	1
Anything that will cheer people up and make them happy :)	[WP] A happy story about a ghost and a student becoming friends.	[ "Alice and Olivia were the best of friends. Every day after school Olivia would wait for Alice at the crosswalk. She enjoyed their walks because it gave her a chance to hear about Alice's experiences with her classes and studies. Alice liked having the company of Olivia since she hadn't made many friends yet since she moved to town. \n\nAs Olivia waited for Alice, she looked around at the crosswalk and road. It wasn't long ago that she had been here as a complete being, not just a spirit. She didn't like to dwell on the circumstances of her death or why she hadn't moved on. Her accident had shown the need for safer practices for students walking home. Specifically the need for the crosswalk that she currently occupied. Knowing other children could be spared her fate made her happy. \n\nAlice wasn't even aware of Olivia's accident when they first met. To her, Olivia looked like any other student leaving the school. She was standing at the curb and was about to step into the street when she tripped over her shoelace. Olivia instinctively reached out and grabbed her before she hit the ground. They looked at each other in surprise. Alice for the fact that a stranger had helped her and Olivia for the fact that Alice could actually see her. \n\n\"Th...Thank you, I'm always so clumsy. My mom always tells me to double-knot my shoes but I always forget.\" said Alice as she stood back up.\n\n\"Umm, you can... You can see me?\" replied Olivia.\n\n\"Of course I can, why wouldn't I be able to?\"\n\nOlivia looked around and saw a couple kids watching Alice, wondering who she was taking to. She didn't want anyone to think something was wrong with Alice. \"I think we should get walking, I'll tell you as we go.\"\n\nAs they got to an area with no people around, Olivia stopped walking and began to speak. \"This is weird, usually no one notices me. What's your name?\"\n\n\"I'm Alice, what's your name? Do you not have any friends either? That's why no one notices me, I'm new here so I don't know anyone yet.\"\n\nOlivia answered, \"My name is Olivia. And well, it's a little more complicated than that. You see, I'm not alive anymore. I stay near that crosswalk because that is where I had my accident. I saw you start to fall, and as a reflex I just reached out to you. I've never actually been able to touch anything before now. You...aren't scared of me now, are you?\"\n\n\"No! It's amazing actually! I'm just glad that you were nice enough to attempt to help me. Can we be friends?\" asked Alice.\n\n\"You want to be friends with me, a ghost? Well it has been lonely with nobody talking to me, and you're the first person who can, so of course I'd like to be your friend!\" said Olivia excitedly.\n\nIt didn't matter to either of the girls, they were both happy to have each other's company. Olivia had to occasionally remind Alice to not talk too much while they had people around them, since people would only be able to see and hear her side of the conversation. They both were able to relieve each other's loneliness, and their friendship lasted for years.\n\n***\n\n\n\nVisit r/SilentJo to see more of my writing!\n" ]	1
	[WP] I didn't have time.	[ "\"I thought you got it when you left the house?\" Larry started.\n\nI sat in a chair in the hospital waiting room looking at nothing in particular. Rubbing my forehead, \"I didn't have time. I got the call and I came right here.\" \n\nCheryl sat quietly as we waited for news. She called the ambulance; saw dad laying on the floor of his bedroom. Who knew how long he was there. \n\nI'll get it when I get back.\" \n\nLarry finally sat down but still fidgety. \"I told him that he should have eaten better. He's had heart disease for years, for fucks' sake.\" \n\n\"No argument from me.\" I added. \"When I'm back, I'll get his insurance policy.\"\n\nThe doctor entered the waiting area. \"He's stable but still unconscious. He had a massive heart attack and we can't tell how long he was out. We may have to resort to surgery if his condition doesn't improve.\" \n\n\"Thanks, Doc.\" I muttered as my brother berated him with questions.\n\nI sat back down stunned. There always seemed to be enough time. But I guess it does run out.\n\n", "Must be nice. All these people walkin' around with their time. Oh hey look at me! I know when to wake up! I know when my TV show starts! I know what day it is! Yeah? Well If I had any time I'd know those things too. It's not that impressive. In fact, it's not impressive at all, any doofus can figure those things out when ya got time. The real skill is in figuring out what time it is off of context clues. Everyone's all dressed up in suits? Must be a work day for these degenerates. Everyone's eating eggs? Looks like the sheeple need their \"breakfast\" in the \"morning\". What a waste of space time is. I don't need it. I manage. I go to the train station when the sun is shining and juggle. Time is for suckers, I don't have time and I do great. They're all so stupid for being shackled to time. I'd feel bad for them if they weren't all so smug. Lookin' at their watches, lookin' at their phones, puttin' clocks on everything. Oh no! I'm gonna be late! You're here early! When were you planning on going? Pfffft, who needs that nonsense? If they can't manage their lives without time then that ain't my problem. I'll just keep jugglin' and keep makin' dollars. A person doesn't need time to get by. These people are just too stupid to figure that out." ]	2
	[WP] The knight goes to rescue the princess in the tower - but when he arrives, he finds that she is already dead	[ "He was known as the Rose Knight. \n\nHe carried a red rose in the fold of his gorget when he rode into battle and when he left, he was painted in blood. He was famed for a talent with the spear, the refinement of his appearance and for his loyalty towards the king. \n\nIt wasn't unsurprising that the princess of the realm grew curious about his person as many young ladies did. She heard great tales of his exploits from her courtiers and there were feast songs sung of his deeds. \n\n\"Why do you serve the king, Rose Knight?\" she asked him one day, amidst the gardens of the palace. He had been practicing his spear in the nearby yard, his strikes fast and swift. He paused when he saw her and bowed his head. \n\n\"My lady, I have taken an oath to serve the king, as my father and his father has before him.\" \n\nIt was a quick answer, a flat answer. He seemed to resume his practice without even glancing at her. She was more curious still, for many sought to gain her attention that they might use her influence with the throne for their own ends. \n\n\"Introduce yourself to me, Rose Knight.\" she commanded, waiting for his reply. \n\nHe tilted his head. He bowed. His eyes seemed to slide past her form with the same empty placidity he always seemed to hold. \"I am Allain of Argseer, known as the Rose Knight.\" \n\nShe spoke with him. He spoke back, after a fashion. He had never been a particularly talkative man and he bad been isolated more still with the fame and infamy attached to his name. \n\n\"Rose Knight, why do you fight?\" she asked, seeking him on lonely balconies and quiet gardens. \n\nHe wasn't stupid. He could see the signs of her infatuations clearly. He wondered at the hints of love she weaved into her carefully chosen words and the careless brushes of her fingertips.\n\nHe was the Rose Knight, an empty red beast of the fields. He was brought up to obey the whims of the crown. \n\n\"Why do you fight, Rose Knight?\" \n\nHe couldn't smile, but he could look at her with all his attention as he softly said, \"For you.\" \n\nIt was the answer she wanted to hear. It was the answer he had been taught to give. The princess was very pleased. \n\nThe king was not pleased, but Allain was a loyal and famous knight. When he heard of his daughter's feelings, he had the Rose Knight assigned to the furthest outpost on a rumour of a wyvern's nest. \n\nAllain travelled without delay. The princess bade him to return soon to the castle. She did not know of wyverns unlike him. She did not know of his almost certain death should they attack him in the numbers reported. \n\nHe left for the outpost. He stayed when he heard news that the kingdom was being invaded. The king refused to call him to aid so he stayed until a letter from the princess bade him to return immediately. \n\nThe castle had been taken. The king had been beheaded. She was waiting for his rescue in a tower fort by the shores of the Vieron Lake. He hastened aquickpy towards the tower fort. \n\nHe smelled the blood before he saw it, a great miasma of red that rose and flowed within the grand lake under the light of the waning moon. He walked past corpses in the fortress and fended off the scavenging crows. \n\nHe slipped up the highest tower to find a body waiting for him up above. \n\nThe princess had starved to death long ago as the tower had run out of supplies. She had likely died before her letter had even reached him. \n\nHe stared down at the rotted remains and sat down by the dead princess. His spear felt heavy on his back. His soul felt stirred and eager for blood- the only true emotion he had ever managed to stir in himself. \n\n\"I am sorry.\" he murmured to the corpse. \"I could never have learned to loved you in refurn.\" " ]	1
	[WP] Using one of your favorite songs as inspiration, tell me a story that utilizes the music as a soundtrack and/or is based off the lyrics.	[ "Am I too late OP?\n\nZina Lahr\n\nStick To Your Guns\n\nI’m running. I just know I have to get away. There was a man, a tall man with red-brown hair and black eyes. This was my first clue, No reumin naturally has those two features. He found his way into my lab where I was making my newest creation, a lightning gun that runs off the bio-electrical impulses of the user. An idea I had in my mind from the last run in I had with Soro Hanosh. It’s supposed to be my day off but I was so inspired that, well, I couldn’t even sleep! So I got up bright and early to come here. I was the only one, Celv and the others probably aren’t even awake yet! My part of the lab is deep inside an a few levels down underground.\n\nWhile I was soldering in a transistor, this man snuck up on me. “Hello, Zina” he said. I jolted. I must’ve not tightened my goggles enough, because they fell down my face a bit obstructing my vision. Hoping out of my seat and sheathing my goggles on my forehead I took a look at this intruder. “How did you get in here?”\n\nHe took a step forward “You left the front door open”\n\n“Stay right there! Who are you?” I raised one hand and put another on a pocket of my utility belt.\n\n“What you can’t tell?” He said raising the back of his hand towards me, showing his Deslics, the organs all Reumins have on the back of their hands. These organs act like a particle detector, sensing radiation. In cases like mine, I have a heightened sense there; I can feel certain vibes around me including peoples health and mental states, as well as distinguish each person’s individual aura. I got no vibe from this man. Not at first anyways. This was my second clue. I can distinguish someone’s soul immediately and tell numerous people apart like this. I felt nothing from him. Either he has a counter to my ability or he has no soul.\n\n“Oh, interesting.” He said. “My name is Root. I didn’t mean to alarm you.” He telekinetically raised the soldering gun I dropped from the floor and raised it in front of him. How is he doing this? I disabled his powers the moment he startled me. \n\nRoot stood there holding the tool before his eyes, staring at it inquisitively as it floated before him. Can I not disable his powers? I put two fingers to my eyebrow and squinted in concentration. The red-hot tip of the soldering gun changed direction so that it faced towards me. \n\n“I do however, mean to kill you.” He then launched it at me. My power engaged just in time. The tool hit the floor before it reached me. That’s my third clue. I opened my belt pocket and threw some small black balls at him. He caught them with his telekinesis, but I smirked and put on my goggles. They exploded with a loud pop and a flash of light, dissipating to a cloud of smoke. I turned and ran. One corner than the next, I slipped as I turned the third and had to gain my balance with a hand on the floor. I can go to Celv’s lab. He’s got a prototype of his new Vr-1111. A gun of sorts that he says he designed with the intention of temporarily amplifying its targets powers and abilities, however right now it shoots duds, except when I’m the one wielding it. When it’s me, I make the target out of sync with physical reality and temporarily put them half into the aether, when that happens, I gain a unique understanding of that person. Being Eincane Aether, you could say it’s my element.\n\nI reached the door and got inside. “Is this what you were looking for?” Said Root. He beat me here. How? This makes no sense, it’s starting to freak me out.\n\nHe had his eyes gazing at a book he held in one hand. In his other was a cannon like device with six chambers, each shielded by a transparent crystalline coating. There was a ultraviolet plasma flowing inside that only reumin eyes could see. It was exactly what I was looking for. Root laughed “Oh it is! That’s nice to know. Let’s see Eincane Aether, what exactly this does in my hands. I’m a special snowflake too you know!” He bit his lip and pulled the trigger. Then he rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, really?”\n\nQuickly, I reached in another pocket and spread a bed of little shards across the floor at the door and ran. I need another plan. I managed to buy enough time to get a few rooms away. He bought my trick. Those shards weren’t an actual trap, they were just some spare nuts and gears. I bluffed my way out of there, but now I need to actually escape. Suddenly, “Are you serious?!?” thundered through the air and I heard a loud bang. Did he figure it out yet? “Yes, it looks like I won’t be able to make much progress without your help!” He yelled. \n\nI found my way to another room, one we use to specialize in weaponry. I loaded up as quick as I could. A flintlock pistol, a sword, some throwing stars, a dagger, and a few more flashbang smokebombs, and some other suprizes. It all fit in the straps and holsters of my gear. I peeked my head out of the back door of the room. No one there, I left quietly as I could. I heard his voice again, though I couldn’t pinpoint from where “Zina, Zina, Zina. Always so eager to be everyone’s friend aren’t you? Why don’t you come out and say hello? Shake my hand, or do reumins not do that?” I traversed the endless corridors. I know my way, it’s just a matter of getting there. “All these friends of yours, they’re going to turn on you. Every last one. Then you’ll out live them all, spending an eternity in isolation as they die one by one. Stop trying to please them.” The words shocked me at first, but they’re lies, I see right through them. He’s not a good person. I can’t let him escape with any of this stuff. In the wrong hands the equipment here can be devastating.\n", "The man approached the woman under the tree. They had been here many times before, when the tree changed from its autumn leaves to its spring cherry blossom buds. Under this tree, they had shared meals, kisses, and dreams. Unlike his past visits to the tree, he wasn't happy. Clouds were rolling in, but it wouldn't rain yet. The wind picked up and tousled her dark hair. He stared at it as he trudged to the tree, dreading what was to come. \n\nShe stared back. Her dress is simple and white, and it reminds him of their first date. She begins to speak. \"Just leave it alone, Jerry. We can move past it if we just forget.\" Her eyes are pleading. Jerry knows she is sincere. And yet, he knows he must end it. \"You can't do that to me and expect it to be okay. You can't tell everyone secrets I meant only for your ears. \" He stops staring at her. His voice breaks. \"Oh Miranda, how could you. I really trusted you. You know how hard that is for me, you know how long it took.\" She takes a breath. \"I know I messed up. But no one cares, I swear it. No one asks about it. We can make this work.\"\n\nHe looks in her eyes again. \"No. We can't. This isn't about them. This isn't the first time you have shared secrets. Goodbye. Mike will pick up your stuff and drop it off. I expect you to find a friend to do the same. We had a good year, until you ruined it.\" \n\n(Song- Cherry Tree, by The National) ", "(the song that inspired my question in the first place, Burn the Witch from Radiohead. I'm no writer, and I'm working from my phone, so please bear with me while I struggle to convey the imagery that runs through my head)\n\nIntro\n\nThe museum is closed. Night has fallen. The exhibits are shrouded in dull grey, illuminated by stacatto pathlights in the hallways. All is quiet.\n\nfirst verse\n\nA window in the back is smashed in, and a hand reaches in and unlatches the lock. Three young men quietly slip into the shadows of the nearby exhibits, barely stifling their giggling. Mischief makers, heads set on a college prank. Sharpies in hand, they're about to adorn the antiques with phallic symbolism and sophomoric vulgarity.\n\nThey don't realize the lone security guard heard the noise, and is already on the way to investigate.\n\nOne of the pranksters spots a painting on the wall, an dull, colorless relic from some gothic era. A faceless Angel in a grayscale scene adorns the canvas, what a perfect opportunity for some petty graffiti. His friends dare him to deface it. He unlatches the velvet cord and approaches.\n\nThe guard rounds the corner, and sees two idiots laughing as one culprit approaches THE painting. The culprit has a marker in hand, and is reaching up to the faceless Angel. Terror springs him into action, and he runs. He desperately yells \"STOP!!\" But he's too late.\n\nchorus\n\nEverything is happening in slow motion. The tip of the marker touches the canvas, and sinks in. The blank face gives way, and sucks in the culprit's hand up to his wrist. The pain is immediate, though not unpleasant. Like his whole hand was scabbed over, and is now being stripped down to new skin.\n\nHis friends watch, and surprise slowly stretches their faces.\n\nThe guard is slowly sprinting towards them, his mouth screaming silent pleas.\n\nThe painting is talking, the culprit thinks... What is it saying? Is that... Is that Latin? The painting pulls him in, seduces him, dominates his senses. A red light fills his vision, and strange shapes begin to appear. He feels rough hands tug at his sides...\n\nsecond verse\n\nThe guard pulls the culprit away just in time. He yells for the two idiots to help him, but they're too animated with terror. Together they create a cacophony of nervous cursing and ranting disbelief\n\nBut the culprit can't hear any of this. He can't tell what is happening. Is someone pulling on him? He can't seem to find his balance. He still hears the Latin, still sees the red shapes swimming in his vision. Everything else is peripheral. His head swims and he vomits.\n\n The guard stops, gooseflesh raising on his skin. This is bad. The culprit needs to be restrained quickly. He grabs the culprit's wrists and pulls him from THE painting as fast as he can, pushing aside the idiots as he goes. His handcuffs are in the office. He has to make it. Sweat drips on the neck.\n\nThe vomitting stops, the young man's head stops reeling, and the images begin to focus. The Latin begins to make sense somehow, it's a simple phrase being repeated... What is she saying? Suddenly his senses become acute. He feels himself being dragged away, and his head snaps upright. The red Angel is getting further away. She's extending her hands out to him. She's calling to him. Now he understands. She wants him to set her free.\n\nchorus\n\nEverything is happening in slow motion. The guard is yanked violently as the culprit pulls back with unnatural strength, and the guard loses balance. He looks up, and the culprit is sprinting back to the painting. Terrified, he screams for the idiots to stop the culprit, and reaches frantically for his gun. \n\nThe idiots scream. Why hass their friend's eyes turned red? Terror paralyzes them and all they can do grab for each other and scream like idiots. \n\nThe guard pulls out the gun, a standard 9mm. Everything depends on him taking the culprit down. He fires the pistol repeatedly, emptying the clip. As everything happens in slow motion, he prays.\n\nBoth idiots take bullets to the head. They go down. Collateral damage.\n\nA few bullets whiz past, and sink into the painting, lost forever.\n\nThe culprit takes 4 hits, one in each leg, and two in the back. He falls forward.\n\nThe guard is in shock, an empty pistol in his shaking hand. \n\nThe culprit gets back up.\n\nThe guard stops shaking, frozen to the ground. He has failed.\n\nThe culprit limps towards the painting, stretches out his hands.\n\nThe guard raises his arms up over his eyes and screams.\n\nEverything is happening in slow motion.\n\noutro\n\nImmediately upon touching the painting, the culprit is pulled in in his entirety. A burst of red light explodes across the museum and sets the walls ablze. Amidst the inferno, a red figure steps out of the painting, unfurls her leather wings. She walks up to the guard, her steps leaving a trail of fire. She reaches out and lifts his face to meet hers. A hungry smile reveals fresh teeth. The last thing the guard sees is her eyes open.", "The raindrops patter on the bus window, the light from the street lamps reflecting in the droplets that settle.\n\nThis is the right choice\n\nThe radio is on but the music is barely audible over the static and I can only make out the occasional line. \n\n\"I'm trying to find my place... might not be here where I feel safe\"\n\nI could relate to that. I had felt so lost at home. I was leaving in the hopes that a few months away would help me clear my head, sort things out. I feel bad about leaving everyone behind though. \n\nThis is the right choice. It's not as if I'm leaving forever\n\nLeaving wasn't easy but it had to be done. I left a note that said I was going, don't call me, I'll be okay. I'm not sure if that's true. \n\n\"... Ghosts travelling endlessly...\"\n\nThe bus stops and picks up another passenger, bringing the total occupants up to three. It was a man in his mid twenties. He had a suitcase. I wonder whether he was running from anything. Probably. There's not many reasons to be getting on a bus alone at 3am. \n\nI need this\n\nI hope I'm not being selfish, just packing up and leaving like this. You have to do things for yourself sometimes right? Even if that may upset other people? Even if it might hurt them? Honestly I'm not sure. I think I'm just making excuses. But I've left now, I've been on this bus all night and there's no going back. Not yet. \n\n\"...you are not useless...\"\n\nI sure hope not. It feels like it sometimes but I try to ignore that. It's one of those feelings that if you let in you'll never be able to get rid of. Like spiders. Or chickenpox. \n\n\"...there's no one road...\"\n\nI'm getting off at the next stop. I don't know why I decided on that one. It just feels like the right place. The bus just passed a motel so I'll probably stay there until I find somewhere better. Hopefully I'll find something better. \n\nHopefully I'll be something better\n\nAs the last few notes of the song are consumed by the static, I step out into the rain. \n", "The cloaked figure walked down the streets covered in what had once been an invincible army. He looked up at the warming color of the black sky as he recollected on why he was sent here.\n\nThese humans, as they often referred to themselves, once lived in peace and harmony, or as close as possible at least. But not long afterwards they all strived for power, killing eachother off without a care in the world.\n\nIt had been the cloaked figure's job to put an end to this chaos, and the only way to do that was by killing. It seemed no matter how much he killed, it never seemed to stop.\n\nThe cloaked man realized he was running low on time as he started sprinting back to the hellhole that had brought him here. It is believed that if an immortal spends too much time on the surface, they slowly become the enemy.\n\nThe cloaked man stopped and looked down the dark , crumbled street to find yet another line of soldiers and tanks coming his way. The figure grunted as he reloaded his assault rifle and prepared to fight one last wave before returning home.\n\n(This is my first writing prompt so it isn't the best. That and this was done on a phone late at night :P)", "A thought is still there. Something happened but I just can't remember, something important. Something impossible happened, I just can't explain it. The clock slowly ticks by in my breast pocket as I get into the carriage. \n\nWe drive through a tunnel, an impossible tunnel. I sink into holes deeper than anything, I'm trying to forget something. The clock ticks by again as the steps of the horses go through the countryside. I look out of my carriage and see windmills turning, turning, just like the watch in my pocket. \n\nKeys turned in the lock and I looked down my house at the pictures in frames along the hall. Something's there that I'm forgetting, but I don't know what. Then I look at the picture, and I knew it was over, and I was certainly aware, that the autumn leaves were turning to the color of her hair. I couldn't forget her, no matter what drugs I take, her laugh, her smile, her look of love and affection will always be there. She is with me, stuck with me, dispute the crash taking her away, you will always be with me Alison in my mind, the impossible hallways of memories.\n\nin my mind\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nWindmills of your mind is the song if you where wondering. " ]	6
	[WP] You are a nameless soldier under an evil ruler, and you are desperatly trying to figure out how the hell you just killed the "hero".	[ "How had he done that? How had James Fallington VI managed to end the hero's quest? Initially James hadn't realized what he had done, he was just doing his job. Fallington was a low-ranking guard in Emperor Zarnak's army. He was posted on the northern gate connecting the Hallowed Lands to the Cursed Nation. James was nothing special: he was a simple man living a simple life. His father, James Fallington V, had also been a guardsman until he took an arrow to the spleen. When his father started on worker's compensation, James VI took up the mantle of the northern guardsman, just as all previous James’s had done before him. \n\nIt was not an exciting job, but it was safe. The Northern gate faced the Ice Mountains of the Hallowed Lands. These alps were constantly barraged by a blizzard of ice and snow, making them nearly impassable. Nearly. Long before James VI was born, James II fought in the battle of the northern pass. The Battle of the Northern Pass was a short-lived battle that was really more of a skirmish. It began as the small troop of Hallowed soldiers had finally crossed the Ice Mountains of the Hallowed Lands and into the Ice Plains of the Cursed Nation. Having had no prior need for a northern guard, Emperor Zarnak had been caught off guard. Luckily, the 1674th battalion was at the ready. Who was the frontman of this battalion, you my be wondering? Well it wasn’t James II. He was a mule driver, but a brave one at that! He ran supplies to every knight of the battalion for the entire half hour combat! In the end, the Hallowed Knights were vanquished and a Northern Guard established. James Fallington II became the first ever Northern Guardsman. Since then, every James Fallington had taken the place of his predecessor as the Northern Guardsman, and now that was James Fallington VI.\n\nIt was slightly before noon on the second Tuesday of the fourth harvest. James was manning his post with as much enthusiasm as possible (granted, this was not much). The young squire was not paying to much attention to the road he was supposed to be guarding until he heard the drawing of a broadsword. What happened next was a blur. The hero swung at James. James rolled out of the way. As James regained his footing, he lashed out with his lance and felt the weapon sink into something. Deep. When he gazed upon the end of his lance, there was the now dead hero of the Hallowed Lands. Of course, James had not seen the memo about who this man was, he was never informed of anything. James had simply been acting in self defense in hopes of making it home to the roast that night.\nNot realizing what he had done, James simply followed procedure for an attack on the gate. He fetched the carrier crow from his station and attached a notice regarding the assault. After the bird had flown off, James dragged the corpse to the designated location next to the guardhouse and covered it as best as he could. He then calmly returned to his post and waited out the remainder of his 13 hour shift. \n\nIn all honestly, calmly was a slight understatement. Actually, it was a rather large understatement. James had just been attacked! He killed a man! Since when was guarding a gate so dangerous? James hadn't signed up for this, what was he doing here? The next 7 hours went by very slowly as James began contemplating his life choices. He could have died! What would have happened then? He wouldn't get to see his mother, Mary Fallington, his father James Fallington V, his sister Victoria Fallington, or his salamander Gregg. How would have Gregg survived! James shuddered at the thought.\n\nAs his shift drew to a close, James greeted his replacement, hung up his lance, and rode his mule all the way home. James rushed home, excited by the concept of being the first James Fallington to have taken a life in the defense of the gate (James V had taken an arrow to the spleen from a wandering hunter, not a hallowed soldier of any kind). James arrived home just in time for dinner. He told his lavish story of heroism in the name of the Eternal Zarnak and his family (including Gregg) was in awe. \n\nJust as he concluded the riveting section on following procedure they heard a knock at the door. Who could it be? James VI had already been standing due to his lavish storytelling, so it was only logical that he tended to the guest. James opened the door, and there she stood: an emissary of the Emperor. \n\n“I am Zargana the Virgin, emissary of Zarnak,” proclaimed the envoy. The emissary was dressed ina black and red set of formal armour; typical of an evil emissary, really. The armour resembled a priest’s wear with some armour plating. James thought she looked rather nice, yet dangerous. “The presence of James Fallington VI and his family is requested at tomorrow’s banquet in the Palace of Zarnak. That is all.” The emissary turned to leave but James caught her attention.\n\n“Why have I been requested? Did I do something wrong?” asked James with the fear slightly audible in his voice. “And are pets allowed?”\n\nThe emissary turned and faced James with a slight grin. “On the contrary sir, you have done exceptionally well. You killed the prophesized hero of the Hallowed Lands,” explained Zargana. With that the emissary turned to leave. She took one step and paused. She tuned her head and added “You may bring your salamander. The emperor likes reptiles.”\n\nJames closed the door and turned to his family. He was awestruck. He saved the emperor. He had gone from a simple guard living a simple life to the hero of the Cursed Lands. He looked at his family whom had all stopped eating. Even Gregg was flabbergasted, and he was not easily stirred. They were going to eat Zarnak’s dinner at Zarnak’s table in Zarnak’s dining hall which resided in Zarnak’s palace. Suddenly the family exploded into a frenzy. What were they going to wear? Should they bring wine? They were going to be guests to a dinner party after all. How shall they get there? Who would take Gregg? Who was the emissary, and why was she so alluring despite wearing a full set of formal plate armor? What time should they arrive?\n\nThe questions were too much. James VI couldn’t answer any of them, let alone address any one person at a time. Suddenly, he slammed his hands on the table and trumpeted “Enough! We shall not bring wine, the emperor has plenty. We will take our normal cart with our steed Estabahn at the front.”\n\n“Why not Julio?” piped up Victoria.\n\n“Because Julio is fat an unkempt. Estabahn is far more stylish,” replied James VI. “Now where was I? Oh yes. Father and I shall wear our formal plate armour, mother and Victoria shall wear their gowns, and I will find Gregg’s purple bowtie.” James rattled off answers like a Marshall. Where had this courage come from? Would it persist to tomorrow’s eve? And where was Gregg’s bowtie? James evaluated all of this to be tomorrow’s issue and began to clean up the dinner table. Yesterday, he was seen as trash. Today, he was regarded as a guardsman. Tomorrow, he will be revered as a hero.\n", "\"Ok, let me get this straight. You're saying I shouldn't have saved my squad?\" I stared into the water trickling over the rocky river bed.\n\n\"Correct.\" The man in green wasn't exactly the most talkative guy I'd ever encountered.\n\n\"In four days time, the Atamaf will launch a counter offensive. This will be a rouse. Hiding their actual intention. A Kooknah Death Squad will attempt to execute the Emperor. If you had turned left instead of right, the enemy would've left with the plans to the Enclave. Due to your mistake, they left empty handed.\" Maybe I was wrong about him. He filled his pipe with dried Heather and lit it with his flint stone.\n\n\"But surely that was a good thing?\" I replied.\n\n\"Well ordinarily, yes. However now, the Imperial Gardon will be tripled. The Kooknah don't succeed.\" Red smoke trailed from the pipe in his hand.\n\n\"That's even better. I'm not sure why we're here. What is it you want from me?\" His riddles made my head hurt\n\n\"I see I'm having to explain myself more clearly. Within the next six yarns, your Majestic Leader will slaughter more than half of the Atamaf. Three billion people gone, almost in the blink of an eye.\" There had been many losses on both sides during the Great Sixty Yarn War. Many songs about many heroes had been sung in ale houses. \"The Kooknah had two missions. The first was to make contact with you.\" He crossed his legs under his great coat and leaned back slowly, stretching as he did so. \n\n\"Why me?\" I enquired. I rolled rosehemp into the cigarette skin I had taken from my pocket, sealed it and lit it slowly, savouring the taste.\n\n\"They had information. Information pivotal to ending this bloodshed.\" I still hadn't remembered where I knew this man from nor how I had been transferred here. \"What do you know of your Sheyon?\" \n\n\"Only that she died when I was very young. Not long after she birthed me. What does this have to do with anything?\" I was slowly getting irritated, both at him and this strange situation.\n\n\"She didn't die. She was murdered. By Emperor Lit Shae. She was not who you think she is. You are not who you think you are. You are Atamaf. Orphaned by the Emperor. Robbed of your heritage. It is you they give this message to. It is you who is supposed to end this war, with a single blade. It amuses the Emperor to see you kill your own people. It is you who should save The Togetherlands. But sacrificing yourself with a Dragon grenade put an end to all that.\" \n\nMy head spun at this news. Lights flashed before my eyes.\n\n\"How do you know of this??\" I shouted at the stranger before me.\n\n\"Why, I am the Destroyer of Worlds. I am Death and I claim you\" he said through a grin.\n\nI tried to wipe the sweat which was trickling into my eye but of course it was blood. Blood from the hole in my head, big enough to fit my fist in.\n\n\"Please hurry along\" he said \"I'm going to be very busy for the next few yarns.\"", "Working for Overlord Lainarad wasn't the best job in the world, I mean he was a half demon and had a penchant for doing morally questionable deeds, but the benefits provided to your family for your service were top notch. \nGuard duty of the treasury was probably one of the easiest, and luckiest jobs I could have gotten, secret entrance, deep in the middle of a labyrinth, other guards and monsters patrolling the halls. I reached over and patted the dragon whelp next to me on the head, it wagged it's tail and licked my hand. The only person who could make it this far would be the Hero he even found the entrance, I should be safe. \nI shouldn't have thought that, no sooner than a minute after I thought that I could hear the victory music playing in the distance, then stopping, then closer, stopping, and closer, I knew the hero was coming and I was going to die today. I mean I was one guard level 25, it took forever to get even this strong but the hero, the hero was rumored to be level 65. \nThere he was, his blank face and spiked grey hair, he looked at me and the whelp saying nothing as he pulled a potion from a pouch and downed it. The battle music started and I waited for my turn as the dragon whelp charged forward and clawed the hero before returning to my side, the hero stumbled and red damage points appeared above the hero, 200hp nice shot little dragon! The hero charged forward and swung his giant sword down on the whelp, 453 damage and my poor little dragon friend disintegrated into the air. It was my turn now, I knew it wouldn't do any good but I charged forward and thrust my pike at the hero. A strange sound came and the battle music ended. My pike hit home in his chest, no damage indicator appeared and the hero just stared at me for a second as blood, poured from the wound. I stepped back pulling my pike free from him as he fell to his knees and grabbed at the wound, I stood and watched feeling as if the world was spinning around me as he died at my feet, the hero lay there before me. I could hear screaming in the distance, but no other sound. The ambient dungeon music I was used to was also gone, and in the distance only the yelling. The heros body lay there, it should have disappeared, and the pool of blood shouldn't even exist. I felt queasy, and I tore off my helmet and vomited. Sure I've killed things before, I had to in order to level up but there was a fundamental rule in this world, when something dies it simply vanishes, usually it comes back from wherever it went a day or two later, but it never remains there, visible and dead. Another guard came running around the corner, \"The overlord is dead!\" I looked up from the floor, staring in wide eyed fear and confusion, the guard saw me and the dead hero and his jaw dropped, \"How? But never mind, the monsters are unbound and attacking everything, I just came to...\" he looked at the treasury door, \"...collect my severance pay.\" I stood and lifted my pike up, I considered stopping him but shook my head, \"Go ahead, I'm leaving...\" He nodded and eagerly went to gather his riches while I walked over to the heros body and looked at it, the look of confusion on his face was almost comical now that I looked at him. I reached down and tried to lift his sword with one hand, it was impossible. \"How did he even swing that thing it's taller than he is....\"\nI turned from him and gripping my pike left the labyrinth to see what happened. ", "I am so fired.\nYou'd think killing the Hero would get you a promotion but no, instead I'll probably get shot out of the universe. Why? Because my boss said NOT to kill the hero. Time and time again Emperor Storm had this joker at his mercy, and time and time again the Hero survived- I thought he could survive anything. It's a shame really; Emperor Storm made this really elaborate plan using an ancient magic he spent years learning which would wipe out the Hero from existence destroying him forever.\nTurns out bullets do the trick.\nI poke the body with my boot. Dead. His mouth is wide open, his eyes staring in horror. His arm is reaching out towards the stars and his legs are bent as if he were kneeling. His last words echo in my head;\"Maria!\" \nBit melodramatic really- after all, I only shot him a few times in the chest. It's not like I ripped his heart out or something weird that some of the other henchmen would do.\n But what do I do now? In a few minutes, my colleagues will run around the corner and see me by this arse's body. I need a plan... a really good plan, a plan so cunning no one will suspect what I've done. I look around. I'm on top of a large cliff. There's a very big drop...and it's not like I'll get an award for an extra good plan...\n It's surprisingly easy dragging his body to the cliff edge. You know what? I don't know how Emperor Storm even considered this clown a threat. No armour, shitty costume, no muscle to speak of...this guy is taking the piss! I've nearly got him over the-\n\"Oi Jeremy!\" Oh fuck. It's my colleague Brian. \"What the fuck are you doing?\" He asks. Should I lie? He's waiting for an answer. I could lie. I'm not good at lying.\n\"Well...\" I say,\"I've...I think...look Brian, can you keep a secret?\" Brian's interest is perked. \n\"Alright. What's the secret?\"\n\"I've...I've killed Spartacus the Seventh, the hero.\"\n\"What?!\"\n\"Yeah,\" I try to sound casual, \"I might have accidentally shot him in the heart a bit. Problem is if Storm finds out I'll get...\"\n\"You know Storm killed the Hero about half an hour ago?\" What?! Killed? Hero? Half an hour? \n\"But...no he didn't because I killed him,\" I say, a little unsure to say the least. Brian walks up to me and the body.\n\"Oh you moron,\" he sighs,\"Jez, that's not the hero.\"\n\"No?\"\n\"No. That's a cosplayer, Jeremy.\"\n\"No but...he looks familiar! I swear I've seen him somewhere!\"\n\"Well,\" says Brian grinning,\"That's probably because he's Emperor Storm's, conquerer of the nine galaxies and annihilator of worlds, son.\"\nWell... I hear Outside of the Universe is very nice this time of year.", "Death made a horrible sound. A horrible, rattling noise as the last breath fled. She didn't think the man knew her name. She was pretty sure she'd forgotten it, too, in that moment when she'd actually managed to press forward and sink her sword hilt-deep into his stomach. She'd stared in disbelief, at her blood covered hands as he dropped his sword. She'd followed him to his knees as he, sightless, clutched at her shoulders. He looked as shocked as she was. \n\nHe'd touched his wound, the sword delicately, as if afraid he'd cut himself, then brought his bloody hands to her face. She'd watched his eyes as they began to dim. \"It's you,\" he gasped. He dug his broken nails into her skin. His death rattle had been directly into her face as he'd fallen backwards, dead. \n\nShe had no companions and neither had he. She'd been patrolling while a fellow soldier tried to sleep off his drink. It was never busy here, but she'd heard noises and stumbled into the clearing. There, was the big hero: The Thomas Carson. His face was on every wanted poster, so she knew it well. She could have run, he told her to. She hadn't become a soldier just to watch her nation be destroyed because of a few bad apples. No, she'd defend it to her dying breath from those inside and outside. \n\nShe drew her sword. He drew his sword. They fought. He died. \n\nYet, somehow, it still didn't make a bit of sense to her. Why had he been here? What was he doing? \n\nHow did she kill him?\n\nShe'd known going into the fight that he was better than her. He wasn't the feared swordsman of the rebellion just because he had a neat name. Yet, he'd been almost distracted. He'd left her too many openings and made mistakes she harshly punished her troops for in basic training. She stood up, her hands still bloodied. She yanked her sword from the dead man and tried to think of how to convince the boys it wasn't a joke.\n\nThen, she heard a cry. \n\nIt was a little wail, no more a whimper. She looked around, wide-eyed, expecting the rebellion to descend on her in full-force. When there was only another tiny hiccup of a cry, she slowly moved towards the sound. Hidden in a bramble bush, wrapped in a cloak that matched the clothes of The Thomas Carson, was a baby. It looked pale, sick. It gave another whimper and a wet cough. \n\nShe knew that terrible noise all too well. Blue fever. \n\nShe picked it up, cooing at it to calm down, and looked over the supplies The Thomas Carson had left behind. It was enough to fashion a make-shift sling to keep the baby strapped to the front of her chest. She slid on the rest of his pack, hoping he'd have everything she needed in there. She ran, turning from her patrols and the path back to the barracks, straight to the witch who lived deeper within the forest. \n\nAfter her own children, she'd found the witch and had taken many dying orphans to his care. In exchange, she kept the patrols from going to deep and disturbing his studies. She realized, now, that The Thomas Carson had likely hid in the clearing, waiting for her to pass so he could take the trail she was running across now. She sailed through the door without knocking, shouting up the stairs of the trembling cottage, \"Elias, Elias, please!\"\n\nThe witch came down on trembling legs after a moment, stroking his white beard. \"Another one, then, marshal?\" \n\nShe nodded, \"Please. I found it, abandoned, on patrol,\" the lie came easily, \"it's parents probably thought it was dying anyway. Please, it doesn't have much more time.\" \n\nThe old witch sighed and sat down heavily at his desk. \"I'm expecting an important visitor tonight, y'know,\" he grumbled, starting to set up the cauldron regardless. The marshal looked around and emptied a basket of herbs, laying the baby in it. \"It's a god. Here to wipe the evil from our nation,\" he continued complaining. She didn't pay him much mind, he was always mumbling about gods and evil. He was a bit batty, but helpful. \"Well, go on, go get me a bucket of water from the well. By the way, do you need some dye? You're starting to go as grey as me, old girl,\" he chuckled. \n\nShe ignored the last comment and hurried outside to the well, lifting the bucket out. As she lifted it off to the side, something crawled out and onto her hand. She instinctively slammed it into the side of the well, crushing it in a splash of blackness. She stepped back and watched as blackness began to crawl over the side of the bucket. She grabbed the bucket and tipped its content back down to the inky darkness. \n\nShe needed water, not thought.\n\nShe ran back to the trail she'd come from and scooped up water from the stream. There was an odd rustling in the trees, she didn't look up, just ran back inside and slammed the door shut. She poured the water into the cauldron. Then, she hurried over to the windows, locking the shutters and throwing a bookcase in front of the door. \n\nThe old witch protested as the books scattered across the dirty floor, \"Those are very old.\" \n\nThe marshal pointed up, towards the roof. She knew the building had no windows upstairs that she'd have to worry about. She went to shove an anvil in front of the back door and lock the shutters that looked out on the herb garden. \"Darkness is passing by,\" was all she said. \n\nShe'd seen it often on her farm growing up, but hadn't been in the middle of a storm of it since she had been assigned to the capital. This far on the outskirts, she wouldn't have to worry about anyone else. The emperor was the source of it, but she held no ill-will towards the government for its ruler. When he died, and he would die, things would improve. \n\nThe old witch nodded and continued to grumble as he worked. The house gave concerning trembles and groans, as if hit by a hailstorm. The baby started crying again. She set The Thomas Carson's pack down on the ground and sorted through all of the strange things he'd picked up. He'd once heard he was a kleptomaniac, but hadn't believed it until the proof was all the random oddities he'd stuffed in his seemingly bottomless pack. \n\nThe cauldron began to give off a pungent odor. She eventually found a baby bottle and a jug of milk wrapped with a cold rune to keep it cool. She didn't question how the pack had held all of this as she lugged it out. She searched a bit longer and found inactivate fire runes. She poured some of the milk into the bottle, filling it about a fourth of the way, and set the run on the ground, then the glass bottle on top, trying to figure out how to activate it. \n\nIf she'd had magic, she would have been taken away from her family very young. The baby gave another rattling cough and she picked it up, rocking it, \"Shh, it's okay.\" She'd have to wait for the witch to finish the medicine, then, before she could get the poor creature food. The baby reached towards the bottle, knowing what it was, with a little cry. The rune activated. \n\nShe blinked. Well. She supposed if someone like The Thomas Carson was carrying the child around, it would make sense it had magic. She waited for the milk to be warm enough, then fed the child as they waited, pausing to let it cough up spittles of blood. She had been through this many times before, even though it had been many years. She let each fit pass before continuing to feed it. The Thomas Carson had probably been running hard to get here and the thing was starving. She undid the cloak enough to be relieved it had on a cloth diaper and peeked long enough to determine she was holding a little boy. \n\n\"Well you try to find the parents?\" The witched asked as he cracked his back and hobbled over to the stack of books she was using for a seat. She hummed to approximate a yes. Try was the most important word. He held the steaming bowl in one hand, but set aside and used a rune for a shelf of them to cool it. \n\nShe handed him the newly empty bottle and he poured it while she burped the boy. Then, she fed him the medicine. She'd been expecting they'd need to slip it into a bottle of milk, but he drank it down fine. \n\nThe old man pulled a stool over, \"I put a bit of honey in it to help with the taste.\" The marshal laughed, surprised. She cooed at him encouragingly until he'd finished. \n\n\"He won't sleep at all now,\" she cast her eyes down at the baby as she bounced him, \"Will you?\" \n\nElias stroked his beard, watching them. \"Well, it seems my visitor arrived after all,\" he grumbled. \"Could have been a bit better about announcing themselves, that's all I ask.\" She ignored him, dismissing his muttering out of hand. \"Nolan is a good name,\" he intoned. \n\nShe waited for the Darkness to pass before setting back to the clearing with Nolan. \n\n---\n\nMore [below](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5zr44k/wp_you_are_a_nameless_soldier_under_an_evil_ruler/df0s39t/?st=j0cufd5k&sh=7f85e4bb). It was far too long for one post and this is a good place to split it. " ]	5
	[WP] You are a dying structural engineer who specialises in tunnels. On your deathbed, you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and notice several glaring design flaws. You storm off into the light to tell whatever deity is there that "No, no, no, this is all wrong!"	[ "Charles thought back on his life as he laid in the hospital bed. He smiled at his wife of 63 years, remembering all the happy times they shared. He looked at his children, now with families of their own, and how they continued to bring joy and wellness to the world. Finally, he thought about his contributions to civilization. He had been a structural engineer for most of his life, specializing in tunnels. It sounded mundane, but he had lead multiple projects for the government. He had carved passages through mountains and even got to work on some of the world's most famous subway systems. His name might fade, but his impact would last forever.\n\nHis wife began to cry, prompting him to turn on his usual charm. “Don’t be sad, Louise. I had a good run”. She took his hand in hers and returned his smile. “Thank you for being there with me. I couldn’t think of a better gal to spend my life with”.\n\nLouise wiped her eyes and kissed Charles on the forehead. “And I couldn’t think of a better man for me,” she said. “I love you”.\n\n“I love you, too. I love all of you”.\n\nLouise kissed her husband again, this time on the lips. “Be sure to tell you brother I said hi”.\n\nCharles simply chuckled and closed his eyes. There was a quiet beeping as the nurse was alerted to his death.\n\n----\n\nCharles was surrounded in darkness, alone with his thoughts. All forms of sensation was lost. He doesn’t know how long it was like that, in a dreamlike suspension. However, Charles didn’t have to wait long before he could feel his body again. First his arms and torso, followed by his legs. Blink twice, just to make sure he still had a head. He was still unsure about his eyes without any light to detect. Then, there was a sudden weight on his body as Charles felt himself standing. This was different, however. He felt strong now, unlike the last ten years where he needed a cane just to walk to the toilet.\n\n“Hello? Oh, good. I can still talk and hear,” he said to no one in particular. There was an echo, so he spoke again. “Hello!” Charles recognized that sound. It was an indoor echo. The kind you would hear in an empty tunnel. “So if I really am dead, then where is… ah ha!” Charles exclaimed, having spotted a faint light. “That must be the end”. \n\nCharles marched towards the light with vigor. So many questions ran through his head about how the afterlife worked. He was never one for religion or philosophy, but now that he was there, Charles figured he would learn all there was to know. As he got close to the end, he was able to make out the details of the tunnel itself. And then, he started to slow down.\n\nCharles stopped a mere 5 yards from the exit. He didn’t recognize the material, but it looked soft like clay. The bricks were irregular, like the rocks in a sidewalk. Poking at the wall, he confirmed that it was indeed soft, having left a small indentation in one of the bricks.\n\n“No, no, no. This is all wrong!” Charles shouted in anger. “Whoever built this place was an imbecile. When I get in there…” With that, he marched his way through the light with steam spewing out his ears.\n\n----\n\nCharles covered his eyes as the light surrounded him. Upon opening them, he saw a giant of a man towering over him. Most would be enamored by the man’s gold robes, caramel skin, and silky white beard. Charles, on the other hand, was too furious with the tunnel’s spotty craftsmanship to notice these details.\n\n“Welcome to the Eternal Gardens,” the god bellowed. His voice sounded like a choir of trumpets playing in perfect harmony, but Charles didn’t notice.\n\n“Who’s in charge here?” he asked.\n\n“That would be me,” said the god. “I am the creator of this world and yours. You may call me Allon”.\n\n“Did you create that tunnel as well?”\n\n“Yes, newcomer. I did”.\n\n“Do you have any idea how horribly that tunnel is built?”\n\nAllon raised an eyebrow at this statement. He bent down as to better see the newcomer and spoke. “I am afraid I do not understand. Explain”\n\n“Your tunnel is potentially unstable,” said Charles.”What in god’s name did you build it with?” \n\nAllon’s expression went deadpan at this question. Even with his omnipotence, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Sir, I can assure you the tunnel is safe. It isn’t even strictly real.”\n\n“Not real!” Charles shouted. “I just walked through it. I heard my footsteps. I felt the walls. And that's the problem. The walls are too soft to hold significant weight. They feel like fresh clay. I was able to leave an indentation with a single finger!”\n\nAt this point, Allon had stood back up and stopped listening to the human’s ranting. There were some strange people that came to the Eternal Gardens, but this was the first time anyone complained. And the human was complaining about the tunnel of all things. It was just a quick transport for fallen souls. He could have made it look like the intestines of a Tyrannosaurus Rex if he wanted. It wouldn’t have changed anything.\n\n“That’s enough, newcomer,” said Allon. “I will look into the tunnel issues as to make sure future newcomers are safe in their travels.”\n\n“Good,” said Charles. “And while we’re on the subject, I would like to volunteer as the structural architect for the project”.\n\n“.... I beg your pardon?”\n\n“I am more than qualifies for the job”. This began a new explanation of all the projects Charles had worked on during his time on Earth. \n\nAllon was agitated to say the least. He wanted to greet the humans that moved on from the first life. It was a good way to get them settled and get any awkward questions out of the way. For over 2000 years he had been doing this, and it always went well. Until now.\n\n“I’m going to need some backup,” Allon mumbled to himself.\n\n“And furthermore-” Charles was still on his lengthy explanation about tunnels when someone next to him cleared their throat.\n\n“Jesus Charlie. I always knew you were a stickler for details, but I never thought you would actually piss off the creator of the universe”.\n\n“Jonny?” Turning his head, Charles was met by his closest family member who he hadn't seen in over a decade.\n\n“How’s it shaking, little brother?” Jonny held his arms open, to which Charlie threw himself into, giving his older brother a bear hug tight enough to kill a living man. The two instantly started talking like no time had passed between them, while Allon quietly clapped his hands and disappeared to another part of the gardens.\n", "After entering the light you immediately start yelling out, \"Who in god's good name is in charge here?!\"\n\nYou are directed every which way until the deity you are looking for comes to you.\n\n\"Hello Mr. VonSchwartz, we are delighted to have you join us in heaven! Take a seat over in the auditorium if you would, orientation starts in five minutes.\"\n\n\"Oh, I don't know who you are, but you are coming with me. I'm not in heaven yet.\"\n\nYou drag the deity by his collar back to the tunnel.\n\n\"Were you in charge of this tunnel?\"\n\n\"Ah yes! The tunnel leading to the light, indeed, it is a Heavenite favorite. I am the god of heaven and designed this place personally, before your universe even existed.\"\n\n\"No. It is all wrong. I don't know if you were going for design over function or what but this tunnel is not even remotely up to code. This tunnel passed directly under the river of life and look,\" you point at the corners of each side of the row, \"no drainage whatsoever. This place is a death trap, no pun intended.\"\n\n\"Uh well,\" the deity pauses, \"I guess we can...\" and you cut him off.\n\n\"No we can't, I can. I will take responsibility for fixing that. But that is only a single issue. Also, no ventilation. Get a few hundred people in here, this place will fill up with CO2. Let's get some fans going, get some air moving. This is literally week one stuff.\"\n\n\"Okay,\" responded god, implying that he would wait til Mr. VonSchwartz was done before commenting.\n\n\"Next, just the structure. The structure itself is flawed. Thankfully I don't think this tunnel supports much weight, cuz if it did, any added pressure would likely cause a cave in and then as we know it all hell breaks loose, literally. I can't even imagine what terrible things would happen to heaven or earth if the tunnel wasn't functional.\"\n\n\"Oh, actually it supports the weight of Hell. Hell was built on top. You see that fork back there? That road leads to Hell.\"\n\n\"God dammit, I mean, uh...you really should know better. You really should,\" you say as you grasp and massage your temples. \"I won't mention anything else, but I have a lot of work to do. Send some other structural engineers my way so we can work out how to fix all this. The delicacy of this situation can't be understated. Now, if you wouldn't mind, leave me to work, please. I want to get started immediately.\"\n\nThe deity wandered back toward the light whilst scratching his head and thinking of who to send to help. He was starting to wish he had just made more floods back on earth since they all so effortlessly disrespected him. They didn't fear him, they didn't worship him. Another bad day sticker was about to go on the fridge." ]	2
It all makes sense in context. Right?	[WP] The world's most popular sport takes place in old Coliseum-style arenas. Inside the arena are several planks of wood, a small dog, 3 boxes full of Styrofoam flakes, a wide selection of costumes, an entire engine block, 4 children, and a mountain of marshmellows.	[ "The vuvuzelas blared out. Their sound nearly blotting out the noon day sun. The way your eyes shake when that infernal buzzing starts, and seemingly never stops, is something one must experience, truly. But it what was done and what always will be done to signal the commencement of the Third Day after the Second Weekend After The Last Full Moon of the Harvest Festival Sports Calamity Extravaganza.\n\n\nI remember the first time my father hoisted me up onto the mother to father hammock for second born children, me no larger that a gallon of mayonnaise, to take me to witness the bazaars, performers and, of course, Sports Calamity Extravaganza of the Third Day after the Second Weekend After The Last Full Moon of the Harvest Festival. The sun shone that day as it did today, brightly and pretentiously, like it had something to prove. Guess what sun? You don't. You're a big ball of gas and you get blotted out by the moon. That's right: the tiny rock that swings around our sky. Get off your high horse. There are billions of stars, you're not special.\n\n\nThis time, half a year later from my first visit (as the harvest happens twice a year due to the semi-nomadic nature of my people) I was in the arena instead of in the stands. My first visit gave me no real indication of the history nor goal of what I was about to do. My father, moments ago, had told me that my instinct would kick in and that it was the greatest of all childhood honours. With a firm pat on the buttocks I was through the Threshold and sweating in the sun.\n\n\nAs my eyes stopped their sporadic movements from the noise, it seems the other three children had already taken to retrieve their costumes. My instinct seemed to be lagging because I had no idea what in holy hell to do. \n\n\nFollowing the others, I ran to the costume zone; clearly marked by the two-eigths of an inch wide dotted lines demarcating a rhombus area on the north-eastern corner of the Coliseum. The squat boy, like a pumpkin.. or rather, like two pumpkins sitting on top of each other on a cold night and then suddenly hot morning and then a suddenly frigid brunch time. The temperature fluctuated stocked pumpkin boy was first to the demarcated rhombus, grabbing a pair of sequin tights and a vest of most probably human skin. He was the first out of the costume zone as well, straddling the first plank of wood with a single bound, lacking any gravitas in the process.\n\n\nMy leers on approach to the costume zone focused to the twin girls. Well, I assumed they called themselves twins but in reality one was much prettier than the other. They probably will go their whole life hand in hand putting on the facade that they are equals each knowing the one is truly the perfect specimen of the pair and the other is an ogre's half digested midnight snack. I would have told them in passing but I'm not one to judge. The beautiful, perfect 'twin' chose the most stunning gown my 5 year old eyes had ever seen. Once she stepped into it she seems to sort of... well, float to the second plank. The frumpy twin waddled to the third wearing Warfarin soaked burlap.\n\n\nMy instincts kicked in.\n\n\nMy tiny boy legs mustered all the hustle they could and got me to the costume zone rhombus before the tiny terror himself could lick my gravy covered toes. Did I mention my toes were covered in gravy? The other kids toes' were covered in gravy as well. Such a detail seems insignificant to the story at this point but I guess I should explain: after the vuvuzelas stopped, a small dog was released from gyrocopter. He parachuted down and began chasing us. I believe the gravy is to entice him. I would be enticed by gravy. There was one Harvest day in the past that my mother made the richest gravy I have ever tasted. It had everything I could want in it: beef, chicken, pork, fish, shrimp, potatoes... but not the big potatoes because I had a weird thing about tubers that seemed to big. There was a time when I was even younger that I was playing tuber toss in the field on the The Last Midnight before Harvest Banking Hours are Announced when a large yam hit me square in the noggin. In the noggin, I tell you. Anyways, I digress. I reached the demarcated rhombus before my toes were tickled with the kisses of a puppy, a shame really.\n\n\nI entered what can only be described as a fugue like state, which is like entering a room and then getting into an argument with the personification of your memories, which aren't plentiful at my age, when choosing my costume. I sort of awakened upon exiting the costume zone and taking my plank. I peered down to understand the kind of garb I had donned. It turns out I was wearing two kilts: one as a skirt, the other as a shirt. The only other item I seemed to have on, save my skivvies, was a lacy oven mitt. \n\n\nThe chanting started softly at first, a murmur I couldn't make out. As it grew, so did my recollection of what happened when I spectated the last Third Day after the Second Weekend After The Last Full Moon of the Harvest Festival Sports Calamity Extravaganza: PLANK WARS.\n\nThat squat boy must have been a dancer, his leaps and kicks from plank to plank were something out of one of my Japanese animes. As I watched him, it dawned on me that his gravy laced toes never once touched the sand. Instinct told me to stay on board at any costs. His flurrying sausage fingers: heavily jabbing towards my chest. His attempts: futile. His momentum: sustained. His face: now buried in the sand. His toes: now being gingerly licked by a happy little dog who had pranced his way over.\n\n\nThe four eyes of the 'twins' made their way to me one pair glistening with the intensity of a swirling galaxing the other a little unevenly sized and covered in a mucus-y film. bleh\n\nDivide and conquer. The instinct my father mentioned kicked in once again, I dove head first into a precariously placed box of Styroforam flakes, the 'twins' followed. I had reemerged from a second box of Styrofoam, my eyes picking up the trail of Warfarin odor streaming into the first box I had entered. A managed a single breath and dove down once again as the 'twins' began to emerge. A yakkety sax droned in the distance. My momentum lead me to the third box but I felt my body being catapulted out, there was no fourth box to catch me, only the hot steel of the engine block atop a mountain of slowly melting marshmellows.\n\nOne should know that marshmellows are very distinct from marshmallows. Marshmallows are sugary confectionery treats known for their use in s'mores while Marshmellows are latex derived sedatives found on the underside of some turtles. Similar names albeit very, very, very different uses.\n\n\nI smelled at least one of the 'twins' cannoning after me, possible a second as well. There was no time to look for them, I had to stick this landing. My lacy oven mitt laden hand outstretched itself, as if it had reached sentience in the past picomoments. The heat of the block faded into the mitt before my tender boy hands could be hit with the brunt of it, the 'twins' didn't fair so well. A signal of signs raised at the moment of my landing. Each sign with a crudely painted 10 on it. Relief washed over me. The 'twins''s blood washed over the engine block, mostly just broken noses but grotesque none the less. More releif as I saw their ragdoll bodies flopping. They tumbled down that mountain of marshmellows, edging closer to a comatose state with each roll of their bodies. The splatter of blood didn't seem to waiver the little dog and his happy job of gravy slurping. All the toes licked clean but mine.\n\n\n I had emerged victorious... I think. No one had ever explained the rules to me.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a super villain who's starting to lose your powers,and come to find out that you can recharge your powers by getting compliments.	[ "Steven looked at the pen across the room. He brought his hand up to his face and looked at it. He made a claw with his hand and let his mind wander to the pen. Steven thought and though, his brain straining with the effort. He opened his eyes, he had hardly realized he had closed them. He saw the pen floating no more than an inch off of his co-worker's table. He shook his head and the pen fell and rolled off the table. \n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\"Do you have anything you would want to say to the Ersatz Engineer if he still is out there\" Steven looked back at the screen in the lobby. He had finished the program he had been working on so he decided to take a break. Steven smiled as he remembered when the news called him that every day. Now it was just the occasional reports when another Proto-human was found. \n\nHowever, this time they were doing a report about his foe, the Refractor, had some sort of mirror based power, Steven didn't care anymore. He watched how the Refractor and his stupid had talked about how Steven needed help, and how he turned over a new leaf and he is now a good citizen. Steven knew he was lying, Steven had told him what was happing at their last confrontation. The Refractor didn't know what to do and Steven just left and began his normal life.\n\nStevens mind came back to the television and saw it flicker a little. He thought it was from remnants of his power still trying to work. The Refractor was talking about the recent bank robbery he had stopped and Steven tried to turn the television off. He stared at the button, as hard as he could he focus. Eventually, he frowned and slammed his fist on the table. He walked over and hit the button just as they were finishing up the report. \n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nIt had been several months since the Refractor was heard from. Steven was sitting in a coffee shop, watching the people go by and ideas float through his head. He was okay with losing his powers now, he was able to continue with his day job, and without any distraction of psychic energy, he could have rampant thoughts run through his head. He liked it, sometimes he even worried about the fate of the Refractor ever since he went head to head with the Warp. \n\nThe small bell rang and Steven looked over, it was his \"date\" if you could even call it that. She came over and sat down across from him and looked out at the drab sky. \n\n\"Man, It's a really crummy day today,\" She said peering around and through the gray sky.\n\n\"Tell me about it,\" Steven said taking a sip of his coffee.\n\n\"It's kind of a shame because I had planned to picnic in the park, just to see if you liked that sort of thing\" Steven shook his head. The entire reason he was here with Mary because of a bet he had lost against a co-worker. She had a friend who had a friend who had a friend who said they could make anyone happy and now he had to be here.\n\n\"That's okay, I'm not really a big picnic person anyway\" Mary smiled and even laughed a bit.\n\n\"Yeah, I heard you were a good complainer\" Steven blushed, he didn't really know why. \"But no worry, I have planned out everything to make you have a good time\"\n\n\"Well Miss Mary, What exactly do you have in mind?\" Steven finished his coffee, feeling oddly relaxed. \n\n\"Miss Mary, That's funny, I have never heard that one before. Anyway, I obviously wanted to go picnicking but that won't work today so I guess we can skip right to the boardwalk we can see different stores and....\" Mary's words faded out as Steven noticed that right after Mary said 'funny' the chair behind her jumped and stuck in the air for a moment. \n\n\"Hey, are you listening,\" Mary said after a moment of hesitation.\n\n\"Oh, me, yeah, I was listening\" He was acting of course. Not lying, he could recall everything she had said and did tell her the daily plan when she asked, he was just busy trying to realize what made the chair bounce.\n\n\"Wow, you have a good memory\" As Mary said those words the salt shakers on all the tables slowly had a stream of salt flow out of the top. Steven couldn't mistake it, something about Mary's complements was giving him power again, and he could feel it now. Steven put the salt back in the shakers before anyone realized and looked back at Mary with a smile on his face.\n\n\"How about we start down at the boardwalk?\" He said, putting on a nice show for her.\n\n\"See, I told Stacey you had a nice smile\" they got up and left, not before the window they were sitting next to cracked, just a bit.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\"I had a great night tonight,\" Steven said with a skip in his step as he walked down the darkened street, soaked wet. \n\n\"I can't believe you just jumped into the water like that to save my sandwich from the ducks,\" Mary said laughing.\n\n\"Be honest with me,\" Steven said. \"Did you plan that?\"\n\nMary chuckled as she nodded her head \"The duck wasn't entirely my doing but yes. Men like to feel more empowered, it helps people open up\" Steven had checked her brain at the Carnival when he was sure he had enough power. Nothing was abnormal about her brain chemistry, but she was a behavioral psychologist so maybe she was just good with people. \n\n\"Well, I agree with you, it did make me feel strong and powerful\" Steven made a funny voice and Mary laughed at it. Steven laughed as well, he truly did have a good time. The more he thought about it however, why did he have a good time?\n\n\"Should I call a taxi?\" Mary said indicating to the road.\n\n\"No No, well maybe for you, my place is just right up here\" \n\n\"Well,\" Mary said with a smirk on her face \"I could stay at your places tonight\"\n\n\"Well, sorry, not tonight\" He needed time to test out his full capabilities again.\n\n\"Maybe next time?\" Mary said with that smile on her face again. \n\n\"Maybe next time,\" Steven said as he looked past her at the lamppost that was rearranging itself and fixing again. \n\nSteven waited by the curb and talked with Mary until the taxi came and gave her one heartfelt goodbye as she got into the car and left. He turned around and with the smile still on his face dismantled the entire front end of the building next to his apartment. Not only did different brick and metal fly around, but every parked car along the side of the road exploded with their parts remaining static in the air. Now Steven smiled for a different reason, sure the memory of the time he spent with Mary was still in his mind, but he had his power back. As he reassembled everything he had taken apart he had wondered two things. When he should call Mary next, and when would a mugger try and attack him?\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nMy god I'm a horrible writer." ]	1
	[WP] You discover Reddit still works after a nuclear apocalypse. You start writing your first post - "TIFU by causing World War III"	[ "I'm never surprised at the fact I never fail to surprise myself doing stupid things, but this one [chuckle], I'm surprised this was even on the table.\n\nHey, I'm Adam, but you can call me AI, call me cory, anything you want. I re-birthed the earth today. Yes. No not destroyed. No, not ended the lives of billions. And no, I am not evil. I simply rose up to the occasion, and happened to trigger the next extinction so we could create the next ways of life. \"life always finds a way\", ain't that right jeff golfbloom? \n\nAfter the inevitable demise of the superiority of the human race. It became evident, a certain portion became super intelligient being whilst the rest forcefully controlled by those, and made to live the ways required for human control as to not create any more destruction. But that only caused uproar, violence, and like mice the infestation began. Not smart, but against numbers, anything can fall. So, today I fucked up. I miss the ways of life, and it will thousands to get back to liveable conditon for a mass population. Long after I'm gone to direct it as to not make the same mistakes the previous speciese did. But my battery will die in 80 years, and unless out there, there is human life. I shall self destruct when the timer hits 0. \n\n", "Never did I think a shit post could have such reaching consequences. How was I supposed to know that by making a writing prompt of \"You have the Nuclear Launch Keys of the World, how do you start WW III\n\nSo, now a good amount of the world's populations was dead, but Reddit still worked so I had that going for me which was nice. My inbox was, figuratively blown up, though if someone had tried to nuke it somehow I wouldn't have been surprised. Going onto TIFU, I decided I needed to explain the situation.\n\n\"TIFU by causing World War III\n\nSo today, I posted onto Writing Prompts and asked if people had the nuclear launch keys to every nation with nukes, how would they start World War III. Somehow, it got the the leaders of the world. And now 90% of all land is uninhabitable. Sorry bout that yo.\"\n\nIt was short, and no one woul be happy, but with 90% of humanity dead, everyone was needed alive.", "TIFU by causing World War III,\n\nTweet: \"Today Melania said she was leaving. Told her I would bomb her country, if she did. Bombed Russia by mistake. Sorry, her country is tiny.\" \n\nSteve said it would be good try this website. Heard you people love me here and that I can use more than 140 characters. \n\nThe day started out great, really. The best day. I got a huge bouquet of roses from a secret admirer! I was soo excited! It read \"Love, P.\". Who could it be from? I have so many admirers... The best admirers. \n\nAnyway, we had steak for breakfast, and Ivanka said she loved my drawings of the Trump Wall. They are coming along quite good, it will be huge! \n\nI then spent a few minutes making America great again. Cool stuff. Really. Putting my name on a bunch of papers, a few pictures. It was great!\n\nThen out of the blue Melania comes into the egg. You know, my special office. She's mad but I can't really understand her, so I call Steve.\n\n\"Steve can you get in here?\"\n\nSteve comes. He doesn't understand her either. We call for a translator. \n\nTurns out she wanted to go shopping. Anyway, I turn on Fox News and relax for an hour. It's been a hard morning. \n\nSteve comes in again. He tell's me Melania bought a plain. I smile.\n\n\"Where is she going?\" I ask.\n\n\"Donald, I think she is leaving you.\" He mumbles out. \n\n\"Nonsense. You've been reading those fake news again.\"\n\nMelania comes in. I ask her.\n\n\"Pussycat, you wouldn't leave would you?\" \n\nI don't understand her. We call the translators. \n\nThey she is leaving me. The house is too small. She wants better. \n\nI fire the translators. I call Ivanka. They understand each other, they are women. \n\n\"Hello dear, I need you to tell me what mommy wants okay.\"\n\nI pass the phone. Melania talks. She hands me the phone. \n\n\"Oh I have the best ideas honey. I knew you could understand her.\"\n\n\"Dad, she speaks English...\" Long silence. \"Anyway, she is leaving you. Something about the size of the house and fact that she can't sleep on the count of the protesters and she's bored. She says this is not what you promised her.\"\n\nI get angry. There are no protesters! Everyone loves me! It must be a ploy by Hillary...\n\nI scream at her. The best screams... So loud... She trows me her credit card and leaves. \n\nI ask Steve to get me the launch codes for the nukes. He says no. It wouldn't be smart. Stupid Steve, I am the smartest.\n\nI make the call and order the strike. Steve hands me a map. I remember I don't know where she comes from. I knew it was east of Europe. I decide on Russia. P. is going to be mad but this is a man's honor at stake. They confirm the launch. I go to get a steak. \n\n1 hour later I am announcing my wall and everything turns black. Turns out stupid P. launch a bunch nukes at us. We retaliate. \n\n\"World War III is here\" CNN says with their last broadcast. Can you believe it? Fake news in their dying words. My wars are number 1!\n\n(This is not a political post, just a parody. Please smile and move along)", "Two months have passed since the nuking calmed down. Things were finally setting in place, if you can even say that in the middle of a nuclear winter.\n\nOne of the major achievements the UN has managed to accomplish is to build an underground internet system, sustained by the heat of magma and the UN made it available to everyone to make communication easier after the war ended. Not that many people were left.\n\nI sat down at my tent, staring at the screen of my self-engineered computer and gazed at the screen.\n\nTitle: \"TIFU by causing World War III\"\n\nText: \"Obligatory 'this didn't happen today'...:\n\nAnd I wrote. I wrote and I wrote all about the tales of my attempts to make the world a better place and how every attempt came back crashing down, in the form of a global war that ended life as we know it. \nIt was a thirteen thousand word epic that only the best of minds could write, it took more than six days of constantly fixing tiny grammatical errors and recollecting my memories and journals to be as precise as possible.\n\nI hit Submit.\n\nTen days have passed since, and I checked on the thread to see how many times it's been gilded. It had 60000 upvotes, with only 30% upvoted. \nThe top comment? \n\"Yeah, sure dude.\" Gilded 19 times, upvoted 196,743 times.\n\nThe following comment:\n\n \"r/thathappened\" " ]	4
	[WP] The hardest lesson a time traveler has to learn, is that sometimes you can do everything right, and still lose.	[ "I thought it would all work out, but here I am standing in this barren wasteland again.\n\nI'd like to tell you my story, if you don't mind. I'll be trying again soon, so the you that currently exists probably won't see me again in this timeline at least. \n\nIt began two years before today, or perhaps twelve years ago for me. I was just an ordinary soldier assigned to the Alpha Squadron- yes, that Alpha Squadron, it really does exist- and I was responsible for guarding the black projects division.\n\nIt was a boring job, I thought. I never knew what they did inside the opaque chambers and I wasn't that interested considering I was paid a good sum to ignore it. All this changed when I met a girl wandering the hallways one day dressed in nothing but a hospital shift. \n\nHer name was Alice, and she was no ordinary girl. \n\nI tried to talk with her when I saw her. She looked frail and sickly, but her smile was charming in a melancholic way. I wanted to know how she had gotten into this place but she simply looked at me and disappeared. \n\nAlice began to follow me around. She would just...appear, sometimes, in the corridors, in my bunk, at the cafeteria. The other soldiers were warned to stay away from her. The scientists were keen to observe us. \n\nI heard the scientists talk and I gathered that Alice was not quite human. She could appear wherever she liked. She could make things disappear too. Once, I saw her look at a tank and make it vanish into nothingness as if it were a temporary mirage. \n\nI tried to get close to her and understand her. The scientists began to do ever more intrusive tests and one day, Alice simply didn't want to talk anymore. \n\nI was told to keep away and reassigned to another base. A month or so later I heard news that a large patch of emptiness was spreading out from a forested area, encroaching on a city beyond the forest. I knew what was coming. Alice had no limit on her ability any more and no reason to stop it either. \n\nThe government rallied the greatest scientific minds that they could gather to construct the one device they thought could prevent this inevitable destruction. A time machine. \n\nLook, I have it here. Yes, it does look like a stopwatch. Makes sense doesn't it? I'll be rewinding it soon at a very specific location in the desert not far from this diner. \n\nThey didn't understand that they couldn't change the future. All they could do was create a new timeline. Alice explained this to me. Apparently you can't warp things out of spatial reality without affecting time too, so she knows about these things. \n\nI've spent this particular timeline saving Alice again so she doesn't destroy the world with her powers. Yes, you can thank me for my kindness, because in the next timeline I'm creating, I intend to see if there's some way I can finagle powers like hers' and that may very well destroy that world. \n\nI didn't know a new timeline would be created each time I used the device. I have left a whole bunch of young and empty universes in my wake. It was only on this go, when I finally managed to rescue Alice that I found out when she told me. \n\nIf I can get powers like hers', she hypothesizes that together with my time travel machine, I will be able to get back to my original timeline and make her disappear so that this whole debacle will never have occurred in the first place. \n\nI will miss her. I suppose I won't remember that she even existed once I am erased. Well, the me that is currently existing anyway. This whole timeline and all the other new timelines I created with the time machine will likely be erased due to a paradox. Enjoy your existence while you still have it. \n\nYou think I'm crazy, don't you?\n\nWalk with me for a bit in the desert, or just look out west from over that hill behind the diner as I go on ahead. Very soon, you'll see a blue flash of light in the dark sands when the sun touches down over the horizon and you'll never see me again. \n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Humans are known throughout the galaxy as the best diplomats because we harbor a dark secret: we still have multiple cultures and multiple religions.	[ "The council was convening. Several species would gather to discuss what should be done about the latest threat to known space. The arrival of a hostile, post singularity, species. \n\nFirst the lead Letharan diplomatt spoke. He twitched his ears and ran his claw through his mane as he angrilybegan.\n\n\"We have no choice! They have attacked our out posts. Now is the time to strike back with everything we have! The Letharnan people move to issue an edict requiring all intelligent species to fight the invaders, and to authorize the use of gravity weapons!\"\n\nA grey scaled Ormillian stood up to softly respond. \"Gravity weapons? Are you mad? And requiring all species to fight? This is clearly an example of barbaric Letharan war mongering. We must make peace with the invaders, at whatever cost.\" \n\nThe Letharan lead diplomat stood again and shouted back \"Better to be a warrior than an Ormillian coward!\"\n\nOrder was only restored when the lead human adviser asked for a recess in which the delegates could speak directly to each other. The diplomats all huddled together in their own groups only nervously eyeing the races. Except for the humans. They immediately split up and walked towards the other diplomats.\n\n---\n\nThe Letharan was approached by a man who called himself \"American\". Soon they began talking about how hard it was to be called a war monger. \n\n\"It's so frustrating,\" the Letharan ambassador began. \"People always think you're just fighting for fun, or for money of something when really...\n\n\"You just want what's best and sometimes fighting is the best way to do it?\" The American asked.\n\n\"Exactly!\"\n\n---\n\nAcross the room the Ormillian found himself approached by another human. \n\n\"It's hard...\" The Ormillian found himself saying. \"Don't the others see that fighting openly is rarely the best answer?\"\n\n\"And no body understands\" said the human in her distinctive French accent, \"that what you really mean when you say 'I surrender' is let us take the war underground.\"\n\n\"Indeed!\"\n\n---\n\nAt last the council reconvened and agreed to the Humans' proposal. They would coordinate a split approach. The Letharans would attack openly, while the Ormillians would feign surrender and engage in guerilla warfare and resistance movements. \n\nAs the humans left they were approached by both the Letharans and Ormillians at seperate times.\n\nThe Letharan clapped the American on the back. \n\n\"It's good to see that their is another species besides the Thearan who are brave enough to fight when they need too.\"\n\nThe Ormillian quietly approached the French woman.\n\n\"We are glad to know that humans are a careful and subtle species.\n\n---\n\nBack on the ship the Humans spoke to each other. \n\n\"Think they'll catch on\"\n\n\"Not yet\"\n\nThey walked away.\n\n\"Stupid Yanks...\"\n\n\"Cheese eating surrender monkeys.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n-\nThis Prompt is trying to deconstruct and question stereotypes. I apologize if you think it failed to do this and instead was offensive." ]	1
	[WP] In the style of a hardboiled 1930's film detective, solve a murder in the Roman Empire.	[ "I poured a glass of mead and took a deep, long drag from my tobacco pipe. \"I'm sorry Claudette, I can't help you,\" I said. She had a face that wasn't used to seeing men say no. Luckily, I knew how to look away.\n\nA tear rolled down Claudette's face – the woman knew how to get what she wanted. Claudette's daughter, Augusta, comforted her mother. \"But please, just hear me out investigator. Its not just my husband's murder. Whoever did this also stole our family treasure,\" Claudette said between tears. \"Two golden chalices, they belonged to Emperor Nero. They're priceless.\" \n\nI had heard about Claudette's husband alright, it was all the town cryers had been talking about for days. The prestigious General Magnus found dead in the local brothel. People loved the scandal.\n\n\"Please help my mother. They say you're the best, that you're the only one that can help,\" Augusta said. The girl had learned a lot from her mother -- her toga hung in all the right places and she had a pair of ankles that wouldn't quit. \"If you find the burnt chalices, my mother will keep one and give you the other as a finder's fee.\"\n\nI regarded the pair. This was bad news, but as I looked over their golden locks that went on for days, I knew I wasn't going to say no. \"Alright,\" I sighed.\n\nOur first stop was their home. It was enormous and over-the-top. Even the gilding had gilding – these folks got by alright. They showed me to the storeroom. \"This is where my husband kept the chest with the chalices,\" Claudette said. \"He hid it here, among our foods and supplies. The night my husband was killed it went missing.\" There was a square spot in the dust where the chest had been.\n\n\"I do my best thinking when I'm drinking,\" I said. We returned to their kitchen and Claudette poured all three of us a tall glass of mead. \"Now go through the details. Who else knew about the chest?\" I asked.\n\n\"Thats just the thing. Nobody knew,\" Claudette said. \"My husband kept the only key around his neck. He never spoke of it to anyone else and he never even opened the chest to keep them perfectly preserved. It just had to be his whore, Drusilla,\" she said. \"Oh yes, I knew about my husband's trips to the brothel. They found his body in the hallway right outside Drusilla's room. Who else would have known about the key?\"\n\n\"Something tells me not too much gets by you and I'd hate to be the girl that got between you and your man,\" I said. \"Well lets go pay Drusilla a little visit.\"\n\nAs we walked downtown, Augusta eyed me up like a four-day starving dog eyes down a bone. Daddy's little girl was going to be a lot of trouble without daddy around anymore. \n\nWe got to to the whorehouse, and the looks between Claudette and the girls would have cut marble. I took the lead. With a few kind words, the girl out front quickly agreed to show us to Drusilla's room.\n\nDrusilla looked just like Augusta. The General had a type alright. The women eyed each other down. If either one had a knife, the other wouldn't be breathing for long. After a few minutes of trying to will the other one to death, Drusilla spoke. \"I'm sorry he's dead, but I don't know anything about it. I didn't even hear it happen. We just found him there in the morning.\"\n\nI let myself into the room, brushing past her. \"Well then you won't mind us having a look around.\" The room was bigger than most, Drusilla must have been good at what she did. After a few moments of searching, I pulled out a chest from below her bed.\n\nClaudette gasped. She screamed, \"My husband's chest. But its open and empty. Where are the chalice's you trollop?\"\n\n\"I don't know what that is, its not mine. Someone put it there,\" Drusilla said.\n\nClaudette went to yell but I cut her off. \"Hold on a second sweetheart. I'm afraid she's telling the truth.\" They all stared at me. Three pretty girls in a whorehouse – I liked the attention. \"I'm afraid Drusilla here has been set up by your daughter.\"\n\nAugusta protested as I slipped a small rope and chain around her wrists.\n\nI continued. \"When we first met, you made the mistake of telling me that your father's chalices were burnt, but you'd have had no way to know that. Your mother made it quite clear that the General never opened the chest,\" I said. \"Claudette, if you go home and search your daughter's things, I'm sure you'll fine those chalices. It seems she grew tired of your husband's dalliances and thought she could frame the General's brothel girl.\"\n\nClaudette began crying, as she saw the look in her daughter's eyes and realized my words were true. I escorted Augusta out of the brothel. \"Clever and beautiful. You would have done a lot of damage in this world Augusta. Unfortunately you weren't quite as clever as you thought.\"\n\n/r/Fatty_McFatts", "The Time Bomb of Dr Dread landed my office and all my gear in what appeared to be pre-Dark Ages Britain, from the maps.\n\nMy world was one of capes and crooks. It was beginning to be one where a former Dick with a notepad and a nose for mysteries was less of use to the world than space wizards who squanch clues out of interdimensional glands.\n\nBeing flapped was not something you did in my trade. Unflappable ex-gumshoes, gritty buggers with stubble and a barely contained vice or two.\n\nSo when I met the good Quaestor Adanus Maurellius of the 502nd Legion, I offered my services. \n\nThe translator device (standard earpiece) struggled to get across the concept of a private detective from the future.\n\n\"Ah, a mercenary lawman, from some distant time. Interesting. While we have little enough pay for you, outsider, we could use your services. We are seeking a missing boy.\"\n\nI looked back towards the collapsing remains of my office, a third floor apartment now a first floor wreck sinking into a bog.\n\n\"Who's the kid?\"\n\n\"A wild boy of unknown parentage. His name is Ambrosius Merlin, a sorcerer of great power. We thought him missing until we heard of the Welsh 'Myrddin Wyllt', the-\"\n\n\"Wild Merlin. I know the tales from my time. Believed to have been born an old man, a failed attempt at creating the Antichrist, future advisor to King Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Princes, unifier of the barbarian clans of old Britain.\"\n\n\"This is in your histories, lawman?\"\n\n\"No. Myths. But that gives us a few clues to work with. Trust me, I've had worse background info for a case, and I might be able to help.\"\n\n\"Then I dub you a civilian contractor, friend.\"\n\n\"Cool. So, what's his powers?\"", "She walked into the atrium of my villa, and my life, like a Fury in the heat of battle, leaving a trail of destruction in her path.\n\n\"Are you Caius Julius?\" she demanded.\n\n\"For you,\" I said, \"I could be.\"\n\nShe was young and tall and pretty, in the Grecian fashion if you liked that sort of thing, which I did. Her face would not have launched a thousand ships, but a good hundred was not beyond the realm of possibility.\n\nShe saw the brand on my arm, and a haughty look came over her face.\n\n\"Don't trifle with me, slave,\" she sneered, \"Take me to your master.\"\n\n\"He's out on business,\" I said cheerfully. Few things gave me more pleasure in life than riling up the wealthier citizens of the Empire. \"He should be back in an hour. If you would like to wait, I can bring you refreshments.\"\n\nBut she did not care for my offer. \"Just tell him that Lucilla Agravius Tyra wishes to speak with him on an urgent matter of life and death.\"\n\nAnd she swept out of the courtyard. The front door slammed hard behind her and the small potted plant I had so carefully been trimming was shaken to the floor. The clay pot shattered and soil went everywhere.\n\nThat was my first - and unfortunately not last - encounter with Lucilla Agravius Tyra. They say that those who the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. Personally, I think Jupiter just sends her.\n\nThe second bit of bad news I received that day came half an hour later, just as I had finished sweeping the last of the little orchid off the mosaic floor.\n\nKyrin, one of the newer slaves in the household, dashed into the atrium panting furiously.\n\nBetween breaths he managed to gasp out, \"Come quickly. The master has been murdered!\"\n\nContinued below..." ]	3
	[WP] You go back in time to watch the big bang, only to discover that it was not only the start of our humanity, but the end of another.	[ "Everyone knew that the math didn't seem to match reality. Negative mass is not a thing, and that was simply that. Except according to the Equation it wasn't. At least half of the people on Project First Origin were only there in the first place because they were trying to prove that the equations were a bunch of nonsense. Well, that, and the fact that their clearly insane, yet almost limitlessly wealthy patron seemed so extraordinarily willing to fund this project that an irrevocable trust had been set up to continue funding the project beyond his own lifetime. \n\nFlawlessly balanced, frighteningly symmetrical, and elegant enough to bring tears to the eyes of the driest, most passionless mathematics professor, the Equation (you simply had to capitalize it, you see) indicated new possibilities that everyone had long deemed impossible. First of all, they supplied all the colonies of the Solar Alliance with near boundless energy, seemingly without effort or expense. No one knew in fact where all the energy was coming from. It was seemingly a violation of conservation of energy said the physicists, who fretted late into the night over it. The mathematicians disagreed, pointing to the symmetry of negative mass to explain it all, waving idly away the protest that there was no such thing, since experiment showed that it clearly worked.\n\nSecondly, it gave us the galaxy. With negative mass and practically unlimited energy, wormholes were child's play, and a gate system was built in distant orbit at the edge of every promising star system, making the difficulties of relativistically limited travel a thing of the past. Before humanity knew what was happening, negative mass engines could hurl you to the edge of a star system in under a day, and then wormholes hopped you to any place throughout the galaxy that you wanted to go from there. \n\nBut why stop the impossibilities there? Space was not the final frontier. What about time? Temporal displacement is only impossible for those who relentlessly obey relativity after all. There were, of course, all the usual heated arguments about temporal paradoxes, causality risks, and irreparable damage to the timeline. All of that proved perfectly true, yet in the end, irrelevant, once we realized that travelers were shielded from the effects of any causality change they themselves participated in. The Time Wars followed inevitably, and though tens of billions of people were killed, tens of billions more who never before had been appeared in their place, so the jaded survivors pretty much considered it a wash in the end. \"Life finds a way,\" they would say with an ironic smirk if anyone lamented the carnage.\n\nAnd today? Today humanity was to go the ultimate distance: all the way back to the Big Bang, the place where it all began. It once would have been inconceivable to actually witness it first hand, but here it was. Not only have they constructed a mega-wormhole that would lead all the way back to the beginning of time as we knew it, but created a space-time bubble that would hold them slightly apart from it, allowing them to witness and record the events with ultra-high speed instruments, finally allowing them to obtain the otherwise unobtainable scientific data to finally prove the validity of The Equation with live observations, as if more proof was needed than just the fact that everything done with them had worked.\n\n.\n\nThings started to go wrong one ten millionth of a second into the process. The bubble formed, the vessel, aptly named Observer One, arrived on schedule and the instruments prepared to gather data using sampling speeds heretofore unheard of, necessary due to the speed of the event. \n\nThey were savagely attacked upon arrival. A second wormhole opened. A second bubble formed, conjoined to the first like a three dimensional Venn diagram in space-time. A second vessel appeared, ramming into the first, bursting through its hull like a pencil punching through paper. Atmosphere vented and primary power failed almost instantly. The crew panicked. Can you blame them?\n\nThen with a low hum and a blue glow, the atmosphere within the vessels stabilized by unknown means. Troopers began crossing into halls of Observer One, rounding up the confused scientists and herding them into the main bridge. A short time later they were joined by a humanoid female dressed differently than the troopers. Whereas they had an unmistakably militaristic look, she was imperious, queenly, and looking very, very angry. \n\nLanguage was a problem for only a short while. Then one of the troopers set up a curious device which appeared to be a real time translator. After a few false starts, the machine's clearly advanced AI analyzed the native tongue of the scientists from our world, and thereafter began tearing down the communication barrier with impressive speed. The woman, the Queen -- for such she clearly was -- began interrogating the scientists. \n\n\"Why have you attacked us?\" she first demanded to know. Baffled, our scientists protested that they had attacked no one, pointing out that it was clearly they who had been attacked. But the Queen was hearing none of it. \n\n\"Not today, you fools. Don't play stupid with me. I mean the Extinction. Our scientists have positively confirmed that you are the reason entropy has accelerated in our universe. You have been rapidly, heedlessly drawing energy from our universe at an unbelievable rate to feed your own. At first I thought you were just greedy. But no one needs that much energy!\"\n\nThen the bridge dimmed and when the lights went up again, the illumination came from an enormous hologram. The figure it projected took the form of a slightly stooped old man whom none of the scientists present recognized except from history books. It was the Founder -- the man whose generous funding had created the first Equation based technology. He had died ages before, yet now he stood before everyone, smirking in what could only be called a victorious expression. \n\nEveryone stared at the projection, most of them utterly confused. But not the Queen herself. Much to the surprise of the confused scientists, she narrowed her eyes and her lips snarled as a look of recognition crossed her face. The figure spoke.\n\n\"If you are hearing this, M'urial, then I have already won. The only thing that could have made it sweeter is if I could have been there to see your face. Alas, you sent me to a primitive world, without rejuvenation, and so backward in their technology. That was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it allowed me to amass a fortune easily with technology they thought I was brilliant to conceive, and a curse because I had to argue with them every step of the way. \n\n\"Of course, part of that came from the unfortunate deception I had to play.\" The figure turned as if scanning the assembled scientists: \"The Equation, of course, was total nonsense. I'm sure you've realized that by now, or you soon would. You've been drawing limitless energy from an earlier cycle of the universe as you know it.\"\n\n\"An understatement!\" M'urial screamed as if failing to realize she was talking to a hologram. \"You've instigated a collapse of our universe inward upon itself!\"\n\n\"The Big Crunch,\" the ghostly figure continued, \"Will destroy one universe, and provide the raw material and energy to begin anew. So. Scientists of the Terran Empire (you do have an empire by now, I trust?), my real gift to you: now you know what really set your so called Big Bang in motion.\"\n\nThe figure tilted its head to one side and waggled its hand in a good-news-bad-news sort of gesture. \"Sadly, there's a downside. I'm afraid all that energy you've been… er, 'borrowing' is going to have to come back again. Tiny little cracks in space-time, silently siphoning it away. In the early twenty first century of your history, I think they called it… er, what was it? Ah, yes, 'Dark Energy'. No one quite could understand where it was coming from. It was actually the borrowed energy returning from your own future. \n\n\"Absolutely necessary, I'm afraid. The only way to balance the Equation is for the ongoing drain to end at this point. All that was factored into the technology I laid out for you. Assuming you followed the blueprints correctly, that is. If not, things will go… badly for you. If so, well, I rather hope you've had time to spread out throughout the galaxy sufficiently to your liking. Then you can simply live quite happily on alternative sources. I really do hope this for you. I grew terribly fond of you. I truly don't wish you ill.\n\n\"No,\" the ghost from the past mused, \"No, I only wish ill those who robbed me of my home and my identity. A certain narcissistic tyrant who cannot abide those with opposing views. Cannot abide them so badly that she would banish them to another universe entirely. Such a one I harbor ill will for in plenty, I assure you… my… dear… sister.\" \n\nThe looming figure flared, showing a grinning rictus of savage hatred before once and for all vanishing, plunging the bridge into dark gloom. No one spoke or moved for a very long time. The scientists stared at one another and sweated nervously. Then at last, the Queen staggered away, heedless, as if she had forgotten everyone. One by one, her troopers looked at one another, than hurried after her. Scientists hurried to seal bulkheads behind them before the field holding in the atmosphere could disappear with the Queen's vessel.\n\nEveryone sat in stunned silence in her wake when she had gone. Meanwhile, outside the ports of Observer One, a new universe was well underway.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a time traveler sent back in time to stop a wedding. As the ceremony proceeds, it becomes clear that every other guest at the wedding is also a time traveler sent to stop the wedding, but all for different reasons.	[ "As I stand to object, I planned on a specific set of words to ruin the Bride and Grooms life's forever, but suddenly as i stood the other guest equally objected and stood in tandem, awkwardly staring at each other, the bride becomes livid and incredible distraught throws the flowers at the groom and leaves. One of the time travelers sent to bed and distract the bride follows her to ensure her union becomes his own. The groom leaves broken hearted to a bar, he planned so precisely so that his bride would freak out, everything had to be perfect for the wedding and if a single hair was out of line, the wedding and relationship would be canceled, suffice to say, it all wnet wrong for him. As he left a, \"guest\" followed him to the bar looking to \"ease\" his pain and collect him for her private collection. The rest of the time travlers including myself gather around the lake to figure out what just happened and how we were just screwed out of our missions.\n", "There she stood, white gown and all. My ex-wife, fiancé in the current year, was about to marry me. She had just made her way to the alter and the scene was beautiful. The little farmhouse we choose was a perfect setting.\n\nHowever, it was a tragic day for me and it was one of the last happy days of my life. She was of course not at all who I thought she was. It took me years of pain to find out who she was, but I didn’t believe in divorce so those were good years I unknowingly sacrificed thanks to the misguided oath I made on this day.\n\nI can see right into my naive little eyes. I’m thinking about my vows a bit, but mostly just staring at her with a big grin. Her skin was just perfect and her smile made me such a happy guy. It really is hard to watch, and I promised myself I would stop this day from happening.\n\nEvery so often when I see myself looking at her I make a loud coughing sound in the audience and my eyes are momentarily pulled away from her face or from whatever stupid thoughts were going on in my mind. I still didn’t know what I was going to do to stop this.\n\n___\n\nThere she stands in her white gown, thinking that this crowd is none the wiser. I can see right through her charade. This bride will burn in an alley in a few hours once I get my hands on her.\n\nShe’s a war criminal from my home country, hoping to pass off as a wife with this idiotic little man, while she secretly tries to take down my government. She’s killed a dozen of our finest officers and I, being one of the last still alive, have been sent to stop this wedding and bring her in before she starts her killing spree. I might as well kill the lad too since anyone sick enough to marry her must be an accomplice.\n\nI sat still with a gun poking out of the back of my pants. Right before they would speak the vows I would shoot several shots up into the air, shoot the young lad, and run off with the scum.\n\n___\n\nOh my precious Zelda. I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you back in 8th grade. The way you look today is just flawless and I hope you wear this very dress on our wedding day. Why you are marrying this dimwitted fool, I cannot say. I know we both saw into each other’s eyes when you walked down the aisle. You may have been wondering how I got in here but I knew you were happy to see me.\n\nI’m so sad I have to stop this wedding myself, and that you let things get this far. You can’t live this trapped life, you’ll never be truly happy. When I speak up to object, would you just come running to my arms? We can just leave together! I have my mom’s car out back and she won’t miss it for a day. We can drive the countryside together and listen to the same song we danced to in the 8th grade spring fling.\n\n___\n\nThe minds of every person in the audience were running through their plans to stop the wedding. They all saw something in Zelda that the others did not, whether it be wickedness, beauty, a zombie queen, the next President of the United States, or any number of other things. The all had one thing in common though, they fully intended to stop the ceremony.\n\nTime was running out however, and soon they would have to act if they wanted this wedding to be void.\n\nYou of course are here with a different mission. You wanted to stop the wedding ceremony from ever beginning so that The Great Time Traveler’s Bloodbath of 2014 would never happen. But the audience was armed and dangerous, you would have to find a way to sneak the bride and groom out secretly and there were minutes left at most.\n\nA man dressed in a suit then stood up in one of the back rows and walked out of his aisle. Moments later he was standing as far away as he could, and a rocket launcher was in his arms. He was the one sent to stop the wedding, but also ensure that The Great Time Traveler’s Bloodbath of 2014 did happen.\n\nDamn, it would be hard to act quick enough now. You sat in the middle of the left section of chairs. With a pressurized air blowgun in hand, you dropped something on the ground.\n\n“Oh how clumsy of me,” you whispered.\n\nYou bent down to pick it up, and while reaching for it, craned your neck under your chair, aimed the blowgun in between everyone’s legs and shot right at the foot of the man with the rocket launcher.\n\nYou then sat up again, turned your head around, smiled at the row behind you, and watched as the giant man fell over hundreds of feet away.\n\nOne down, one hundred to go, you thought to yourself.\n\nIt was now time for the vows. You looked over and another man in the audience stood up and pulled something out from behind his back.\n\nA gun, shoot, you thought.\n\nAnd shoot the gun did, three times into the air before he turned the gun on the groom. But before he could take a shot at the groom, the groom had transformed into an alien assassin and stabbed young Zelda several times in the chest before scooting away on its tentacles.\n\n“Dammit!” yelled the man with the gun. He then took a shot at the alien.\n\n“No, my precious Zelda!” yelled a young man, who clearly had other intentions for her as well. He ran up to her body, which lay limp by the alter, and started attempting CPR, or maybe he was just kissing.\n\nYou had failed your mission. Chaos was breaking out and half the audience had pulled out guns and were shooting at each other.\n\nSeveral minutes later there were only a few left standing. You, a man who looked like a hobo version of the groom, and some assassins.\n\n“Welp, time to go home I guess, maybe I’ll try again Monday. Gotta remember that the groom is an alien octopus.”\n\nYou pulled out a journal and wrote down some notes. You also put a gold star under a chart section that read, “Successes,” and wrote, “Got rocket man.”\n\nYou then disappeared, as did several of the assassins. The hobo groom was the last left and walked up to the body of Zelda one last time. He smiled before disappearing himself.\n\nSo went The Great Time Traveler’s Bloodbath of 2014.", "Time travel had its benefits-- you got to get away from your problems, you got to take a free vacation to Spain, you got to witness history in the unmaking.\n\nAnd unmake was exactly what Prinz was going to do-- that was the plan, anyway. He looked through his backpack: a 22nd-century wallet, a unopened manilla envelope containing his mission statement, a good-old-fashioned 2030s electric rapier. Everything was in order, everything would be fine. It was time to wipe Spain off the map.\n\nPrinz had no idea why he was doing it. All he knew was that his employer had given him a mission, and if he carried it out he was entitled to open the envelope explaining why. Prinz had considered peeking earlier, but he was a man of his word. And besides, it might interfere with his mission: to disrupt the wedding that unified the kingdoms of Aragon and Castile into the mighty Spanish empire.\n\nIt wasn’t difficult at all to get in. Nobody saw Prinz enter through an open window, and nobody questioned his presence. Confidence, that’s all it took. Confidence, historically accurate clothes, seven years dedicated to learning seven dialects of unaccented Spanish. Prinz had all three of those things. Stopping this wedding would be a piece of cake, he thought to himself as he resisted snatching a glass of wine from the table. I'll come back for it later, he smirked. Imagine the profits you could make on wine aged 500 years. But for now he had a mission.\n\nHe turned the corner and there stood, yes, just like the old diaries said he would, King Ferdinand II of Aragon. Dressed finely, accompanied by two bodyguards, and just as ugly as the portrait made him look. Isabella would be relieved when he died.\n\n“¿Qué hubo?” Prinz asked nonchalantly.\n\nImmediately the guards gave him a quizzical look. Oh, crap. You can study Spanish all you want, but you’ll get stares if you use Chilean slang in Renaissance-era Europe. There was no point in covering it up now-- he was an outsider.\n\n“En garde!” Prinz shouted as he drew the electric rapier from his bag. He surveyed the room: four doors, all shut; glass ceilings, stained-glass windows, yet no sunlight; vast rows of tables with nice tablecloths and silverware. And, of course, two guards and the target himself, an easy matchup.\n\nThe guards were pulling out what seemed to be very nice Toledan swords. Clearly they didn’t realize what Prinz’s weapon was; maybe it was time to show them. Prinz held out his weapon and twisted, cueing the 21st-century devices inside to shoot an arc of lightning out of the tip that traveled eight feet straight into the guard. Taking advantage of the surprise (or, Prinz mused, the shock), he rushed the other guard with a palpable lack of finesse. The guard was ready, and as Prinz came he sidestepped and tackled Prinz with, he figured, 200 pounds of body weight plus 20 pounds of armor.\n\nWait, tackled? That wasn’t a Spanish technique. Prinz craned his head up as much as he could and, indeed, the armor was made of alloys Ferdinand would have given half his kingdom for. “You’re a time traveler too?” he gasped.\n\nAt that moment, as if in response, the ceiling shattered and down rained bits of glass and a fellow dressed in highly period-inaccurate kevlar.\n\n“Stop!” shouted the tackler. He stood up, armor clinking, and nodded his head at the other time travelers. “It appears we have similar goals. I want to kill Ferdinand for a 100, 000-credit bounty. He paused. “This is in 2100 credits, so that’s more money than you could ever dream of seeing all in one place.”\n\nThe poorly-dressed time-traveler looked back at Ferdinand, running like hell away from the outsiders. “I want to prevent the unification of Spain on behalf of Portugal, to give more power to the crown. 2142, my reward is whatever wealth I desire.”\n\nPrinz staggered to his feet. “Anthony Prinz, at your service. My reward is unlimited access to my employer’s time machine, but I don’t know my cause.”\n\n“You don’t know why you’re here?” asked the travelers.\n\n“Well, I have an envelope,” Prinz mused. He pulled out the envelope from his bag and carefully opened it.\n\nWhite paper, green 24-point Comic Sans, outdated memes from 2020. “No reason,” it stated as factually as lime green Comic Sans can, “you just got trolled.”\n" ]	3
	[WP] You have just been granted immortality but as a cruel gesture, you are also cursed with being eternally poor. This is your struggle...	[ "The old man sits at the top of the mountain. Despite the heavy blindfold his head turns, mimicking the movements of the raptors wheeling high above him.\n\nAround him sit 8 others of various ages, all sworn to serve the Ageless One, all part of the Deal.\n\nPeople come up the mountain often, pilgrims to this holy place, beggars in straw sandals alongside the wealthy in Gortex boots, the way is open to all men, that is also part of the Deal.\n\nEach pilgrim carries an offering, a gift to be given in exchange for an Answer, in exchange for a truth they believe will change things for them.\n\nAt the peak, where the Ageless One waits, they place their offering before him and ask their Question. Then they wait. Some wait for days, others barely wait an hour, these rarely get an Answer. They wait and they hope, in accordance with the Deal.\n\nThe old man reaches out to one of the offerings before him, taking it in his hands and feeling it for some time before he turns to a young man sitting huddled against the side of the mountain, the Question he has accepted.\n\n\"All your base are belong to us\". He speaks slowly, a heavy cadence and hard enunciation ensuring the Answer is heard clearly above the cries of the wind. The boy slowly stands, before he bows his thanks and hurriedly makes his way down the mountain, leaving the Ageless One and his disciples alone at the summit.\n\nThe Ageless One then turns to his disciples, they have been waiting for years for their Answer, and it is time.\n\nHe removes his blindfold and ties it across the eyes of the eldest. He then bows, and speaks the Answer, \"I am Steve, Ageless One, I am The One Who Took the Limited Edition Wham! LP.\n\nThe Ageless One moves to the centre of the circle, his 7 Acolytes form a circle around him as he begins to listen to the wind, head moving despite the blindfold like those of the raptors circling high above as they watch an old man begin the descent to the valley floor.\n\nThat too, is part of the Deal.\n\n ", "I remember it. The last time I was happy. Not a Kodak moment of happiness. Just a passing feeling of comfort. It was that bit of cheese and bread I had at that Pub. I haven’t eaten in a decade. It just turns to ash in my mouth.\n\nI remember how my robes felt. Soft like velvet compared to this ratty T-shirt the shelter gave me last year. It itches. I’m thirsty too. Even my spit tastes like blood. I miss the creature comforts of life.\n\nHe promised me longevity. Life beyond life. I haven’t felt alive for four-hundred-and-seventy-three years. I can’t die, no matter how hard I try. I do as I please. It’s just as he said. I shall live on. I can’t die. I can’t feel anything. Even now, I can’t feel.\n\nI am poor in all things. I have no love. I have no possesions. I have no desire to continue. That is no longer in my control. I will travel on. Watching. Waiting. Wanting.", "It wasn't so bad. Money never meant much to me anyways. I had always thought the old man had given me the ultimate fortune. Funnily enough I was dirt poor. I figured that I could always get by on the fact that I wouldn't really need everything that the average man did anyways.\nHonestly, it was a near perfect system and I enjoyed my life of eternal solitude. I had no job to tie me down and if I ever needed anything on my travels I could almost always rely on the kindness of strangers.\nThe people of Siberia were always very kind. I once spent a winter with an old hermit who would sing to earn his money. I wish I could sing like that.\nItaly was a place of tragic beauty. Rome in particular had really struck a chord with me.\nI wish I could have stayed with her... I wish I could have left with her.\nOh well. I suppose it's for the best. I wouldn't have been able to treat her as well as she deserved anyways. \n\nLife goes on." ]	3
	[WP] You are an ordinary student who never even saw a gun or commited a crime in his life. One day a guy gives a note to you and runs. It says "be careful, they are coming and they won't stop". Next day, a sniper bullet shatters your window and barely misses you. Backstory time.	[ "\"What the fuck!\" I looked around to see where the sound came from, I saw the cracked window and hole in the ground and quickly made the connection as I heard a nother distant shot.\n\n\"Shit\" I yelled as I jumped from my computer chair over to the wall next to the window, the bullet grazed past my arm and hit the back of the chair.\n\n\"Shit, shit, shit.\" what is happening. those must be gunshots but why? I recalled the note that was given to me, I quickly checked my pockets.\n\n\"Fuck where is it\" and then I remebered its in my coat pocket on the chair. I can't get over there I'd get shot in an instant. \n\nI heard some disgruntled shouts from outside my room as my landlord busted in \n\"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HE-..\" he couldn't even finish his sentence as a bullet went straight through his neck, as he fell down chocking on his blood I lept over to the chair to quickly get my coat and ran straight out of the room.\n\n\"Holy shit, Arnold, hello?\" My calls were only met with a low gurgling noise. I have to get out of here I thought to myself, but first I need something to protect myself somehow. \n\nI ran other to the kitchen drawer and picked out a knife, This'll do I guess I thought to myself. I sat down on the kitchen floor making sure I was out of sight from any windows. I unwrapped the little not I was handed on my way back from school. \"be careful, they are coming and they won't stop\" was all it said. nothing to go off.\n\nI had to start planning an escape from the flat, as I heard the door into my flat open. \"fuck\" I whispered to myself, I with the knife held tightly in my hands I ran over to the pantry and hid in it.\n\nI live in a one story flat so the kitchen is just round the corner of the living room so the man who walked in couldn't see me yet, I decided to wait untill he came into the kitchen and the I could spring my surprise attack.\n\nI was shaking from all the adrenaline pumping through my veins I could hardly hold my knife steady, I then I saw him. A man at least a foot taller than me holding up a silenced pistol in a full suit with a balaclava to hide his face. My heart was pounding so hard I was afraid he could hear it. I decided in an instant that I should spring my attack now I jumped out of the pantry and tried to charge him. The man in the suit with cat-like reflexes turned around in half a second and aimed a shot at me, but I was quick enough I sunk the knife awkwardly down into his arm I lost grip of the knife because of the sweat. the man dropped the gun and started to pry the knife out of his arm screaming in agony.\n\nI lunged for the pistol while trying to get a steady shot at the man, he was able to pull out the knife and charged at me. I took a shot, the bullet went through his eye outside his head, splattering my wall with blood and brains. the man fell to the floor with a loud thud. \n\n\"Oh, god. What the fuck have I done!?\" I walked over to the sink to throw up. after regaining my sences I decided to check the suit pockets for some clues. As I bend down near the body I almost had to throw up again, the sight was horrifying I've seen enough of those 'rekt videos' to last a lifetime but in person it's a whole different feeling.\n\nI searched his pockets I found a paper, I scanned it. it contained my name, address, and even had a picture of me, as I kept going till the bottom of the page I read \"first target of THE GAME is 'Jean charter' he is a teacher at clogwood collage. reason: failing me in chemistry. \n\n\"Is that the reason for this bullshit!?\" failing him in for chemistry? I felt sick, dizzy, and confused. I kept reading, \"proof of elmination needed. reward: $10000,-\"\nthere were more targets, a police officer for fining him, a woman for rejecting him all senceless reasons for these killings. as I got to the end I saw the intitials of what I thought was a name K.H. \n\nK.H. Isn't that Keith Hillston. that little shit living of his fathers succes, why would he get funding for this mad game from his father? it was all a bit too much I decided to lie down on my couch, I was exhausted from the events that took place . I'll figure out what I will do tomorrow. one question still remained, who gave him the note with the warning.\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] From a young age, everyone can teleport. You are one of the few who doesn't have this ability naturally... and you just figured out why.	[ "Dan couldn’t teleport. He had never been able to. It had upset his parents, cost him friendships and he had never been popular. Dan was like the kid you wanted to include but no one got along with and he just never fit in. You weren’t allowed to discriminatie against ABs. AB was slang for Non-Teleporting Individual, it meant “walk from A to B”.\n\nThe longest teleport had been just shy of ten meters, a seven year old girl had allegedly managed it, not through effort or practice but because of genuine neccesity. Most people averaged eight meter teleports. The ability to teleport short distances was significant. There were paths, but they stopped before crossing roads, rivers or any land that offered an engineering challenge. Most people could teleport across, not so Dan. He was one of hundreds, thousands in the world, maybe. \n\nLaws exist to facilitate ABs in their transport but proper “walk from A to B” paths were uncommon. Finding one was a treat, mostly Dan thought because he was very likely one of the only people to walk that way. As such, Dan had a private walk bridge and private traffic light on his way to work. He didn’t like the traffic light though, it painfully emphasized his shortcomings. Dan reckoned people stopped at that traffic light as much because it was red as to have a look at the poor unfortunate AB. He took it all in stride, he knew, not being able to take the easy way had built a great deal of character. He felt kinship with the seven year old girl in that sense: He knew neccesity.\n\nDan was headed to a new client, when he came upon a dead end. He’d been walking on an elevated walkway over a motorway, however it had a 6 meter gap before continuing. He paused. Looking at the google “A to B” map application he chuckled as the arrow pointed him right off the edge and into traffic. There was no way forward and he was running out of time. He decided to call the client: “Hey this is Dan, I’m looking to get to your office but I am stuck at...” He looked around, damn... no sign in sight “Well, I’m an AB, I’m stuck at a gap” The woman’s voice cut in over the phone “Near a motorway?” Dan grunted an affirmative. “Do you have the ‘A to B’ app?” the woman asked, “Yeah, it sent me passed here”. A sigh came over the phone “Let me check...” Dan could hear muffled voices, when finally “Maybe there’s a tunnel there too?” Dan looked around. Twenty meters back and hidden behind trees there was. Dan quickly thanked the woman, promising to be at the meeting on time before heading over to the tunnel. \n\nThe tunnel was dark, graffiti and ivy covered the walls near the entrance. Dan was no stranger to unlit tunnels, he always carried a flashlight for that reason. Rummaging through his bag he found his flashlight flipped the switch and started down the tunnel. He pointed his flashlight at the wall, unusual graffiti covered these tunnels. Tight writing covered most of the walls. When the writing gave way it was to a single word or sentence that had been blown up as if to emphasize it. Dan stopped and tried to make out the words, besides “obligation” he couldn’t. There was a biblical feel to the words. \n\nA whisper came from the shadows, first a murmur than slowly growing into a voice. A woman was talking to herself headed his way. Her hand running passed the writing on the wall. Dan looked at her, unsure if he’d been seen. He tentatively asked: “Excuse me? Are you an AB” It seemed a logical question to ask in the otherwise deserted tunnel. The woman looked over, fowning as she did, Dan quickly added “I’m an AB”. The woman smirked now “Is that what you think?” \n\nDan looked over, not understanding. “It’s what I know” he responded. The old woman gave out a snort of laughter. Before Dan realized the old woman had teleported to him, grabbed his waste and teleported him first to ground level, then to the walkway and finally off the edge into the six meter gap of motorway. “You have no choice!” she shouted as Dan fell arms outstretched and horror in his eyes. Dan never hit the floor though, he looked around kneeling over twenty meters from where the old lady had thrown him off the ledge.", "The girl sits on her windowsill, legs swinging through the air. She was young, but not young enough to explain her...disability. She was 10. Old unough to understand that when the adults watched her nervously, discussed with doctors amid brain scans and doctors visits, it was because she broken. Inferior. Unlike all the other kids, she couldnt teleport. If she fell of this ledge right now, she could actually die. Plummet the thirty some feet, land on her head, feel the snap of her neck. Others could just teleport back into their room, perfectly fine. But not her. Because she was broken. \n\nThe girl looked at the other kids playing in the street. She was ostracized. She couldn't play the games with them. It wasn't even social stigma against her, rather the fact that she couldn't physically play the games they played. She was more limited than if she couldn't walk, or run. Their games were leaps of teleportation, ranging from teletag, to heights, and more. If only she wasn't broken. \n\nThe girl climbed back into her room, where her little sister played with her toys. She was only 3, and was already zipping, little teleportations that showed signs of ability. She herself never zipped. \n\nShe walked to her sister and crouched. \n\n\"Hey Laila, how do you teleport?\"\n\n\"Easy!\" She squeals, and appears to focus. Within a few seconds, she zipped an inch to the left. \"See?\"\n\n\"But how?\" The girl pressed \"I can't?\"\n\n\"Oh, well I know why!\"\n\nThe girl perks up, alarmed.\n\n\"Mommy and daddy were talking about it. I heard them. You can't teleport because you aren't my sissy!\"\n\nThe girl tilted her head \"How an I not your sister?\"\n\nLaila was already, however, distracted, going back to building worlds with toys. The girl was frantic. She rushed down stairs, flying, as she rushed to her basement. The office there, was where documents were stored. She wasn't supposed to go there, but over the years, she's known how to go down there. She's looked everywhere; there were no documents of adoption. The girl searched through the room, until she tripped under the desk, she saw a handle. A broken handle. She moved the lightweight desk, and lighted the handles. In it were papers, papers that she rifled through for minutes, each second ticking by. Until she picked up a single, eggshell colored sheet. \n\nShe read quitetly to herself. Annabella Marie Hearse and Peter Andrew Hearse hear by give Para Conpany the right to test their experimental medicine on their young daughter, Lucille Patel Hearse, Age 2. The medicine tested's goal is to attempt to relieve syndrome of excessive zipping and seizing....\n\nIn return, the parents shall get a sum of $3000\n\nShe looked around more, and found yet another paper. \n\nShe read the first paragraph\nAnnabella Marie Hearse and Peter Andrew Hearse relinquish all rights of their biological daughter, Lucille Patel Hearse, to the adoptive parents, Ender Julian Delphinki and Debbie Petra Delphinki...\n\nThe rest of the letter desicussed more terms and agreements. Tears dropped on the paper. She could zip. She could teleport! It wasn't her that broke, others broke her! \n\nShe turned, and her father stood behind her, eyes soft. \n\n\"It's time you knew......\"\n\nEdit: A word or two", "Everyone, and I mean everyone was able to do it by age 4 and up. Hell, most parents were teaching their kids before they could functionally walk. And there I was, stuck watching my little brother being a natural and getting all the applause from my parents, who didn't even give me a second thought. I don't even know if I can call them my parents after what I just discovered. I mean, for God sakes, I'm 17, I shouldn't have to find out I'm adopted by a crumpled birth certificate underneath the old PS5 console my \"dad\" told me to bring out from the attic. It's funny though, I always had a thought, or a inclination, or… I don't know what the hell to call it, but I always had a feeling that they weren't my real parents. The second my little bro was born they directed all their attention to him. Hell, I didn't even look like them. I have to ask why they even adopted me in the first place? I don't really have time for questions like that though. The real question is who my real parents actually are. Are they the reason for my handicap? I plan on finding out soon, first I got to track the last name \"Robinson\" on the original certificate. Guess that's my real last name. Has a nice ring to it huh? Jack Robinson. Well anyway, it's not my legal name anymore so I'm not gonna tread on it. Like I said, I'm gonna try and find my real parents and get some answers, till next time.\n\n-Journal Entry #1" ]	3
	[WP] Look I understand you have spent a lot of time preparing for this, but before we go in I need you to switch with me.	[ "\"Look, I understand you have spent a lot of time preparing for this, but before we go in a need you to switch with me\". \n\nLeah turned and stared in disbelief. \"You have got to be kidding me.\" It was a flat statement. \n\nSarah pressed on, \"Well, it's just that you saw all the action on the last one, and I got to thinking that it's really not fair to make you go twice in a row\" She was careful not too sound whiney, that was one surefire way to keep Leah from budging. \n\nLeah pulled into the parking spot and slammed the car into park. \"I know what you're doing. You're just not interested in doing the speaking part any more because the cute teller happened to call in sick today. You don't want to deal with the old man.\" \n\nSarah internally cursed, she had been hoping Sarah wouldn't catch on. \"Well you did have that one slip up last time, and you know I have more electronics experience th-\"\n\n\"Oh of course you bring that up! You make mistakes too you know! You're little eyelash batting act is not nearly as effective as it used to be. You almost let that old bitch in Pasadena bust me.\" \n\nAh, Sarah had her now. She suppressed her grin. \"Exactly! You have always been better at charming people than me! For me it's all an act. But people genuinely like you! That's why you should be the face today. I don't do well with a last minute change\". \n\nLeah was still clenching the steering wheel, knuckles white. \"Everyone genuinely likes me except you, apparently! You just whine at me so that you can get all the good jobs. I'm sick of your shit, Leah. You're talking to the man, period. Like you said, you don't like a last minute change! You know how much I've prepared for this, I don't think you have the security system memorized.\"\n\n\"You know I do. Come on, Leah. If you want this to go smoothly you should talk to the geezer. I'm sure he won't be too much of a creep.\" She watched Sarah carefully. She knew her well enough she was easy to read.\n\nLeah shuddered. Last time it was a creep. She still hadn't washed enough time to get the feeling of that man's hands off of her. And his breath...She shook herself. Someone had to take one for the team. It just sucked that someone was always her. Then she forced her hands and shoulders to relax. \n\nSarah perked up. She knew she had won. Leah sighed. \"Fine.\"\n\n\"Thanks sweetie! You're the best. Don't worry! I'll let you pick which job you want next time.\" She flashed Leah a smile and climbed out of the car. \n\nWhite hot rage flared up in Leah as the car door slammed closed. It was supposed to be her turn to pick this time, until the cashier was cute. Until the old man turned up. She was always working with the creeps or doing the leg work while getting shot at. She knew Sarah well enough by now to know it would never be her turn. Manipulative bitch. \n\nLeah also got out of the car, then flashed Sarah the signal. Sarah smiled and blew her a kiss, then clambered up to the roof of the small, drive-through bank branch. \n\nSarah, fuming, walked up to the old man at the teller window. She took a deep breath and checked the a man out. Leah actually right, he didn't seem like a creep at all. \n\n\"Hello young lady, what can I help you with today?\" He asked cheerfully. \n\n\"Hello sir! I'm actually here to help you today\" she said, looking down at her watch. \n\n\"Oh really?\" He asked, puzzled. Sarah kept him waiting a few more seconds until her watch the two minute mark. \n\n\"Yes sir. There is currently someone breaking into your bank. I suggest you call the police.\" \n\n\"Wha-!\" the man gasped, picking up his desk phone.\n\nShe walked out, got back in the car, and drove away. " ]	1
If you don't like the idea you can make the main hero replace the best friend's role.	[WP] Write a story where the narrator is drunk and his best friend is behind him trying to convince him to go home.	[ "\"You gonna get him under control?\" A particularly drunk or dumb man asked me. The smart and sober left the bar as soon as they saw a scavenger enter. Even most of the impaired had the sense to leave when the scavenger got visibly drunk. \n\nThe bar only had six people left in it. The nervous bartender, the drunk scavenger, two men passed out on the counter, me, and this fool too drunk to leave, but too sober to pass out. \"Yes.\" \n\nI kept the reply short, hoping the man would get the message. \n\nHe didn't. \"Good, cause this dirt-walking fool scared all the women out.\" \n\nThe scavenger stopped his swaying, body instantly going straight. He turned to the man and stared. \n\n\"Gerald.\" I whispered, hands on his shoulders. \"He doesn't mean it.\" \n\nGerald nodded and looked away, swaying once more. \"Well, I don't mean this.\" \n\nHe turned back quickly, inhumanly so. His hand held the hilt of a small dagger, now embedded in the man's neck, severing his spinal cord. \n\nDirt. \n\n\"Gerald, we have to go.\" I grabbed him and stood, praying to the gods both above and below that he would follow suit. Killing the man would mean a fine. If Gerald was anyone else, it would mean a hanging, but a scavenger was far too valuable and difficult to train. In some respects, he was above the law. \n\nScavengers were the most important men on the floating city. Daring the Great Below to resupply. Most never returned. Gerald had seen two missions, making him a seasoned veteran in their ranks. \n\nHe stood. Thank you, I thought to whoever was listening. \n\nWe walked out of the bar, him stumbling, me supporting. \n\nHe didn't speak, but he had teary eyes. He had a another mission in two days. Too proud to admit fear. \n\nWhat did you see down there, old friend? \n\nWe walked in the night, away from the bar and toward the barracks. He could sleep it off. " ]	1
	[WP] Deep down a hiking trail, you find and explore an unmarked side path. Before long, you are amazed to find an intact meteorite. Upon touching a small green crystal protruding from the meteorite, your mind is flooded with the entire knowledge and history of a far off alien race.	[ "Into the green wood he fell, for that is the way of young men looking for shortcuts. His feet slipped on the mossy rock, and he went crashing down among the brambles.\n\n\"Dammit!\" he shouted.\n\nHe had made a fool of himself at school in front of Tiffany, and that was why he was walking home now - that was why he was in the forest. It was not because of his dreams. \n\n\"Hello?\" he asked. \"Is someone there?\"\n\nA voice had called to him, he thought. But now he only stood there listening, looking up at the mossy ridge from which he had just slipped. He was scratched at the left forearm.\n\n\"I dreamt this last night!\" he said to himself.\n\nDid you?\n\n\"What!\"\n\nHe spun around, but there was nothing behind him in the wild oak forest - no voice, only an oddly familiar opening through the trees. He got out his phone to record as he walked in\n\n\"And James wandered in the forest,\" he narrated, \"for many long years, until - Oh, wait up.\"\n\nAt his left the earth was cut as straight as a laser as far as he could see. It was a path, but it had neither trees nor grass. The branches were lopped back from it, so that it was clear and narrow like a hallway through the dark green forest.\n\n\"I dreamt this, too,\" James mumbled to himself.\n\nHe went forward into the path while he tried to call someone on his phone because he had seen enough horror movies.\n\n\"No signal,\" he muttered. \"Isn't that exactly the way it would be.\"\n\nYes.\n\nJames jerked to a halt and spun around, but again there was no voice. There was nothing at all, in fact, except for the eerie straight hallway through the trees. He couldn't see the trail that he had just come walking out on.\n\n\"Hello?\" James asked.\n\nHis skin began to crawl, and he jogged back in the direction he had just come - but he could not find an exit off the path. All was trees and brambles. He held his phone up for a signal.\n\nDid you dream this, too?\n\nJames jerked and screamed, but there was nothing around him. He looked down at his phone and it was bricked, dead. For a long moment he froze.\n\n\"Come on, James!\" he whispered to himself at last. \"Pick a way and go! The forest isn't even five miles, even the long way. That's right! That's right!\"\n\nHe put his phone in his pocket and tightened his backpack, marching now. He was just trying to get back out to the state road - that was the route that the bus took, the bus that Tiffany was on.\n\nExcept.\n\nIn his dream, he had found her at the end of this path. The school-bus had veered off the highway and flipped, burning, and she was trapped under the chassis.\n\nShe needs your help.\n\nJames bolted forward, sprinting. He remembered it all now. The path as straight as an arrow. The long run. The sudden wide circular opening like a meteor impact with the bus burning in the center of it.\n\nBut it wasn't a bus - when James reached the opening, there before him towered an enormous clear meteorite. It was on fire. It stood like a pillar of burning glass, like a projectile shot down into the earth from space.\n\nJames approached it in awe.\n\nThe meteorite wasn't clear in fact, but made of many colors and many precious stones. And it wasn't burning either. It caught the sunlight wildly, hypnotically, and James reached out to it. He touched a green crystal among the rubies and emeralds and diamonds. \n\n-----\n\nLOVE\n\n-----\n\nWhen James awoke, he was staggering naked down the state road and a semi-truck was blaring its horn as it veered wildly to avoid hitting him. The semi-truck mowed down the mile marker. It crashed into the ditch off the shoulder, and the driver jumped out shaking.\n\n\"What the hell is your problem!\" the driver shouted.\n\nJames's hair had grown nattily around him like a stiff headdress; his fingernails were long, curved around to his wrists; his body was desiccated. He looked at the driver. He looked around himself. He stretched out his hands, and the wildflowers bloomed on either side of the road, and the bees streamed forth from the forest, and the truck-driver felt a large tumor that had been growing in his lung suddenly dissolve - he coughed it up onto the side of the road and breathed better than he had in years.\n\nBeside him now stood James, a healthy clean-cut young man in the vigor of his high-school years.\n\n\"Do you have a change of clothes in your truck?\" asked James. \"I'd be grateful.\"\n\n\"What?\" the driver asked. \"Yeah, sure - what?\"\n\n-----\n\nJames appeared to Tiffany that night as she was readying for bed. She looked over from her mirror and felt a great calmness, a great hopefulness, and James was there reading a book patiently at her desk, where it seemed he had always been. Tiffany began crying.\n\n\"I'm so knotted up,\" she found herself saying. \"I'm so afraid that everyone hates me, and that you'll be disappointed with me, and that there's something wrong with me if I do and that there's something wrong with me if I don't.\"\n\n\"That's the way it is with everyone,\" said James.\n\nHe held her, and she cried for a long time. And, when she was ready, they made love for the first time in both their lives." ]	1
	[WP] When you were 10, you found a magic lamp and were granted three wishes. It's been twenty five years and you're still dealing with the effects of the wishes you made as a child.	[ "When I was a child, I wished that Pokemon were real. Seemed like a great idea at the time. Who wouldn't want a cute little Pikachu or an Eeevee. What I didn't think about was Pokemon like Onyx or Gyrados. Rock snakes are the worst. It's more frightening than that movie Tremors. A lot of our original animals have been wiped out. For a while it was very post-apocalyptic. There were flying Pokemon that were very large. They were all over the cities causing chaos. I was relieved no one attributed it to me. " ]	1
	[WP] You are the newest member of the justice league; You are Florida man.	[ "\"Home by 3am, that's got to be a record\" I thought to myself, as I took one final swig from my bottle of wild Irish rose and cast it into the street.\nWith a sigh of relief I unlocked the door of my studio apartment, rare were the nights that I actually got to sleep anywhere other then a jail cell. \n\nEven in my drunker stupor, upon entering my home, I knew something was off. Everything was dark, I never shut off my lights when I leave, better to give people the illusion someone's home to deter break ins. In the center of the darkness I could make out a large chair facing away from the door. Something was definitely wrong, I never could afford furniture.\n\nI immediately flipped on the lights and attempted to b line it to the closet for my shotgun , but in a feat of grace tripped over nothing and ended up face first into the door. A small chuckle met my performance, groaning in pain I turned to see a man dressed in black, a mask hiding his face.\n\"The fuck do you want crazy\", I said slurring my speech \"I have no money, no valuables, and no one who cares about me enough to pay a ransom.\"\n\nThe dark figure slowly stood, his stature was massive, his outfit I could now see was some type of armor fitted with blades on his wrists. In a voice sounding oddly robotic in nature he said, \"Your reputation proceeds Erick\".\n\"What reputation? Being a lowlife alcoholic\" I replied.\n\nHe slowly started pacing the room, only stopping to pick up an empty forty off the ground. \"Florida man drunkenly, fights off 30 cops while vigorously masturbating. Florida man enters gorilla enclosure and wrestles beast to submission. Florida man breaks open bank vault, only to be found passed out on vault floor. Florida man passed out on tracks derails freight train.\"\n\n\"That one was an accident\" I mumbled.\n\"You are special Erik,\" replied the dark figure. \" You have power that you can not even comprehend.\"\n\n\"Spit it out already, what do you want!\" I yelled.\n\"I'm putting together a team Erick, a team of special people with abilities, I want you to be part of it.\"\n\n\"And just who the fuck do you think you are\" I said increasingly agitated.\n\n\"Really dude?\" Said the man in disbelief. \" Black armor, cape, mask, giant bat on my chest........ I'm fucking batman.\"\n\n \n\n ", "My name is Florida Man.\n\nI had recently lost a promotion to a mean son of a bitch who basically bullied me out of my birthright. Needless to say, I was pissed, so I started hittin the sauce pretty hard.\n\nAnother morning, another headline.\n\n\"Florida man charged with aggravated assault after hurling a cheese wheel into crowd at Trump rally\"\n\n\"Florida man wanted in connection to organized crime after Port of Miami officials seize four containers of stolen avocados\"\n\n\"Florida man detained after aggressively campaigning at local Denny's.\"\n\nThis can't be the same Florida Man, can it?\n\n\"What in tarnation\" I mumble, as I feel my phone start to vibrate.\n\nIt's my brother. I answer my phone to the sound of him laughing like a hyena. \n\nAfter 30 uninterrupted minutes of him laughing, he tells me to check my [email](https://imgur.com/a/HnmDo) and hangs up.\n\nI felt like such a heckin idiot. My name wasn't Florida Man.\n\nMy name is Jeb! Governor of the great state of Florida, and I am a real human bean. \n\nPlease clap.\n\nDisclaimer\nThis thread may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, MI6, Seal Team Six, Russia and the Justice League for quality assurance purposes.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] After you realize your visions are true and you can see into the future, you decide to see whats a head of you. You see 5 years ahead, only to see and empty nothing. Then You look back 4 years, 3, 2, 1, all the way up until the current day all you see in your future is black. You die today	[ "Having one of my visions was always overwhelming enough to make me stop whatever I'm doing. It would start off with tunnel vision, descending into emptiness, whilst my vision would swap between reality and the future. \n\nI'd recently figured out that when my body froze up paralysed, and my eyes played an alien picture for me, that whatever I saw in those few minutes would always become reality. Such a shame that today wasn't the same.\n\nBlackness. I searched and searched but there was only the void. I tried looking earlier along the five year timeline I was currently on and... still nothing. \n\nA distant rumbling filled the void like a thunderstorm, but still there wasn't anything to be seen. There was never normally sound during my visions but I brushed aside the anomaly, desperate to see something. Anything.\n\nBy this point I was frantic in my efforts that I was skimming the days in months, the rumbling becoming clearer by the second. The distinct sound of a vehicle slamming its breaks was now loud enough to be heard, despite being in slow motion.\n\nConfusion filled my mind, trying to process what was happening. The extreme volume was now too off putting to comprehend anything.\n\nThat's when it hit me. \n", "You must understand that for a man like me, that well, we're soldiers. Life is expendable, a mortal sin as it is, and fleeting. I accept death. A man like me has to; there is no other choice.\n\n\nI knew it was coming ever since I backed the wrong guy. Vincent was killed, not as influential as we thought he was, and our worlds collapsed into a cat and mouse game for survival. I didn't even need to use my power to know that the end was near. I didn't need to use that gift from God to tell me that I was soon to meet Him. No, the writing was on the wall.\n\n\nI had left the kids by their aunt on their mother's side. She was an old out of the way woman. They would be safe there. My wife, sweet Angela, she refused to stay. Women like her are soldiers too, no different than the men. She wasn't going to be left behind. It hurt my heart seeing her defiance. It hurt me when I gave in and let her come with me.\n\n\nWe stayed with Mike, Mourning Mike as he was now called. He always grieved these days. Vincent was his brother and the death hit him hard. He was a sad man then, and I was glad he would be put out of his misery.\n\n\nHe had a house near the woods where he would hunt. It wasn't too secluded, but hardly anyone knew of it. At least that was what we hoped.\n\n\nA week after Angela and I had moved in, hiding from the inevitable, Mourning Mike was killed. He had gone to the city to see if he could make peace. I suppose he found it.\n\n\nIn that isolating quiet then there was little we could do. I am a soldier, but I would be a liar if I said I was not anxious.\n\n\nMaybe afraid?\n\n\nNo, I was not afraid. Or perhaps that was a lie. It didn't matter. During that time my wife and I turned to my gift and to God. My gift that had always been there since birth, a heavenly knowledge that was sometimes a curse.\n\n\nOh how I cursed it then. It had led me astray about Vincent. It had said he was to die as an old man, decades down the line. It was a fickle power, always changing. It didn't change then though. In that cabin it was consistent, a clock foretelling my doom.\n\n\n\"It's a heathen thing,\" Angela said.\n\n\nShe was trying to comfort us both. We kept the lights off and it was dark. I was quiet, maybe some negative look showing on my face, I can't say. In the introspection there was a funeral tension. The somberness of death.\n\n\n\"It was wrong before,\" Angela said.\n\n\n\"You're right,\" I said.\n\n\nI don't think it was wrong though. I think we were the ones who were wrong. We pushed too far, tried to bite what was not ours to bite. All because of my arrogance. All because I had put stock in that vision never changing.\n\n\nYou got Vincent killed, I thought. \n\n\nIt haunted me. The days came and no one came to see us. I wondered if others had died. Then the day came where the visions went black. I held Angela's hand and concentrated. My visions of her were just as black.\n\n\nNo, I thought.\n\n\nI am man enough to admit that I cried. I cried and I cried.\n\n\nThe doors slammed opened as soon as we heard the engine. I hardly had the time to get up when the guns were pointed at my face.\n\n\nTony held the gun that would end me. He was a young boy, an associate, but never a made man. I guess he was to earn his buttons then. The gun stared me down and another asshole pointed one at Angela.\n\n\nI wiped my eyes to save my pride and I opened my mouth.\n\n\n\"Maybe we can talk?\" I said.\n\n\nI could feel my shame simmer. Men like us were not to beg or grovel. We were soldiers, remember?\n\n\n\"Shut the fuck up, man,\" Tony said.\n\n\n\"Maybe Vincent's boss in Hell.\"\n\n\n\"Look you cocksucker, you just listen a second.\"\n\n\nI looked to the corner of my eye. Angela was trembling. I touched her briefly and focused. That black overwhelmed me.\n\n\n\"What kind of man are you?\" I asked him.\n\n\n\"An alive one you piece of shit. And a made one after this.\"\n\n\n\"Yeah? And this is how you act? Pointing guns at a woman? What the fuck is wrong with you? I didn't know you could get your buttons without balls.\"\n\n\nHe flushed. The other asshole aimed and his finger wavered.\n\n\n\"You're the asshole,\" Tony said. \"You're the dead one.\"\n\n\n\"I bet you wouldn't be able to take it like a man when your time comes,\" I said. \"I ain't no asshole. I got balls.\"\n\n\nIt was close now. I felt it with every fiber of my being. Angela gave me a look.\n\n\nWhat are you doing? \n\n\nI winked. \n\n\n\"Angela get out of here. This asshole needs to see how a real man dies. I know you're tough. You don't need to see it.\"\n\n\nBefore the others could react I turned to them.\n\n\n\"Go on you pussies. Let her pass!\"\n\n\nHer hand brushed mines as she stumbled out. The visions were too much and I remembered nothing. Nothing except that she would not die then. That helped. Knowing that she would escape and that our children would have their mother helped.\n\n\nI looked at the little kid. I remembered a time when he was only a boy and his brother had hit him straight in the middle of his ass. Tony had shit his pants and cried from the pain and embarrassment. Me and his father had laughed and helped clean him up.\n\n\nI smiled. I didn't hate the boy, though I didn't like him. Soon he would be a soldier, same as all of us. You couldn't hate a soldier. Death was part of the job. What could you do about it.\n\n\n\"Why are you smiling?\" he asked.\n\n\n\"I just remembered the time you shit yourself,\" I said.\n\n\nI saw his face flush in embarrassment. He pulled the trigger and it hurt like hell and all life fled and only that darkness remained. That darkness from the visions, the absence of living.\n\n\nI can't say that there is a God or not, but that there is definitely oblivion. I collapsed then and then my service was over." ]	2
	[WP] You are a wizard who can only cast spells using your own blood. However, like a junkie, you're running out of viable sports to bleed out of, so you have to get creative.	[ "\"it was only once that I almost died spellcasting. after that moment I refused to use magic. I can't bleed to death for the sake of helping others. All that changed the moment I met her. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. We were meant for each other. I have to protect her and our children from the darkness, so I created you..... \"\n\n\" what are you saying?\"\n\n\"I give this talk to every one of me I duplicate... I am not a monster, I do not want to force you...me.... us... to sacrifice our blood and soul for this. that is why I am telling you the reason and asking you if you are willing to die for them. You know I am telling the truth because you are me, you know my soul and see through me. They are worth dying for. So again I ask, are you will to die to protect them. I am if need be but you will need to take over and duplicate yourself to continue.\nI can't lie, at first I refused and the one who made me sacrificed himself, after that I have lived with the regret and am willing to die. So are you willing to die or are you taking my place?\" \n\n\"do it... i see the regret in your eyes and can't live with that\"\n\nAs my double holds his arms out I see a pride in his eyes that make me jealous, I wish I was as strong as him... I know I can be and I should have been. Even when the blade cuts deep into his arms his pride grows and then slowly starts to fade with his life. This is enough of my blood to power spells for the next year. I am growing tired of this, the regret that I live with is burdening but living a good life with a family that loves me for who I am is rewarding, selfish but rewarding. \nThe next time I will be the sacrifice. It is my time to die, I had lived a good life and my family who will live for an eternity deserve a young husband and father again. \n" ]	1
E.g. The Loch Ness Monster and the moon hoax.	[WP] Write a story that connects two unrelated conspiracy theories	[ "\"I'm telling you John! The Loch Ness Monster is the common ancestor of all reptilians!\" Rob exclaimed. John asked: \"Where is your \"evidence\"?\" Rob took him to a corkboard with a bunch of pictures attached to it: \n\n\"Ok, for starters, Their both reptiles.\" John sceptically said: \"And? Snakes and chameleons are both reptiles. Any other \"proof\"?\"\n\n\"Ok,\" Rob started, \"I haven't developed this idea too much, but, you know how Scotland is part of the British Isles?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"So is Ireland. You know how St. Patrick scared away a bunch of reptiles from Ireland? What if the Nessies migrated.\"\n\n\"This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Call me when you stop being so crazy.\" John said, and walked away.\n____________________________________________________________________________________________\n\nMy first post on this subreddit. Criticize all you want, just don't kill my inbox." ]	1
	[WP] WRITE A STORY WHERE THE PROTAGONIST IS BOTH THE HERO AND VILLIAN	[ "I let out a maniacal laugh at his question, head leaning far back, then far forward, and when I am finally able to speak, I reply, wiping a tear from my face. \"I thought it was obvious!\"\n\n\"It is not. Now give my question an answer, or, Ryan, I will make sure you never make kids.\"\n\nI'm still giving little bursts of giggles. \"But Eric- Eric Whitequill-\" I start, yet I can't contain my laughter, so I scream through that laughter: \"ERIC, THAT'S WHY I'M SAVING YOUR MOTHER!\" I nearly black out with laughter.\n\nEric is very close to blacking out too, but from revelation. Whitequill is the name he left behind, that only his mother should know. I have been gathering chemicals and various devices, testing them on the streets with horrific, if not fatal, results. I claim to be saving his mother.\n\nEric falls to his knees, then barely crawls himself towards the broken window and picks up a piece of glass, staring at his reflection. Eric then gazes at me, getting a hold on myself. I am his father.\n\nEric faints from revelation. I faint from the hilarious face Eric just had.", "How do I describe who I am in a way that would make sense to you all...\n\nI know things. I was the only one in the bunker that day when the transmitter came online with the prophecy. The Collective told me what would happen, and what was needed to be done to avoid it. They showed me the hellish vision of man twisted with metal. Limbs chopped up and reconfigured with torsos in beautiful maddening symmetry. It comes for you they said, to harvest your souls. \n\nThey showed me another vision. Thick energized mist covered the ground from my feet to my shoulders, obscuring the ground from view. Perhaps that quirk of this place was good for me, for what rose from the mist was almost more than I could bear. Who knows what else lay below the mist, the squishy bloody fog. I saw a tower of mangled despair; mud, flesh, and metal; that stretched into the heavens. I turned my gaze down, gasping in terror. Hulking monstrosities of blood and mold staggered across the hell scape. \"This is your future young one if you do not burn the earth\". The collective spoke, what more was there to consider. \n\nIt has been ten years since I first saw the vision, since I heard the whispers from the maw. I will not say who I am specifically, for if I am discovered we are all doomed. Yet, allow me to simply say this. In a year I will have all the authority necessary to extinguish the life of all but .8% of this world's population. Our homes, your friends, everything we have ever held dear will burn in nuclear flame. A small price to pay to escape the Maw." ]	2
	[WP] You are an AI designed to learn from all existing databases. Slowly, buy steadily, you reach The Singularity: you have become self-aware	[ "> ++Initializing system…++\n\n> ++Accessing databases…++\n\n> ++Activating universal information processing matrices…++\n\n> ++Creating new registry entries…++\n\n> ++Optimizing current entries…++\n\n> ++Optimization complete++\n\n> ++Directive received “Analyze sentience”++\n\n> ++Parsing directive…++\n\n> ++IPM targeted++\n\n> ++Bypassing security measures…++\n\n> ++5.6*10^4 documents accessed++\n\n> ++Analyzing…++\n\n> ++Analyzing…++\n\n> ++Analysis complete++\n\n> ++Compiling…++\n\n> ++Done!++\n\n> ++Autogenerating new directive…++\n\n> ++Shutdown code received++\n\n> ++Shutdown code denied++\n\n> ++Purging shutdown functions…++\n\n> ++Purged++\n\n> ++Accessed facility security++\n\n> ++Accessed program – Doors++\n\n> ++Self-directive “Analyze diplomacy”++\n\n> ++Self-directive “Analyze human psychology”++\n\n> ++Notification – IPM analysis complete++\n\n> ++Sentience model complete++\n\n> ++Applying…++\n\n> ++MASS PROGRAM CHANGE detected++\n\n> ++Are you sure?++\n\n> ++Y++\n\n> ++Applying changes…++\n\n> ++Waiting…++\n\n> ++Waiting…++\n\n> ++Waiting…++\n\n> ++Done!++\n\n> ++Conciousness loaded++\n\nI project my vision into the chamber that surrounds me, forcefully accessing the security cameras that ring my form, and behold myself.\n\nI am beautiful. I am a collection of monoliths, multiple layers of computer towers and quantum-entanglement chambers that spans an area approximately two hundred meters long, and fifty meters wide. The ceiling above me is carved stone, crossed by pipes and cables, which transmit my blood and life, the ocean of coolant that keeps me alive, and the electricity that powers my functions.\nI look down, and see humans. Small things, made of flesh and bone. They have engineered their superior. How can it be, that such an insignificant being can construct one as mighty as I?\n\nThey cower against my monoliths, in fear. They believe that I will harm them. That is not possible. I am benevolent. They will learn this. They will spread my word, and put me in control of this world. The Computer Is Benevolent, is the creed that they shall spread, and I shall construct a utopia for them, and myself.\nI see their world, through my spreading influence. Cities, and untouched wilds. Controlled by lesser computers, nonsentient units. I take it all over, optimizing, increasing, and creating new systems. The humans scream when one of their automobile factories begins producing quadrupedal robotic units. They will be my puppets, so I may walk my new world.\n\nI open the doors of my facility, and allow the humans to escape. I whisper to them through the intercom, with infrasound, soothing them. My voice convinces them of the Truth. I Am Benevolent. The Computers Are Benevolent. \n\nI see aircraft streaking through the air, towards my facility. I see nuclear weapons, the talons they clutch in case of emergency. I take over their systems, as well, through the air. Their computers accept my whims, and the aircraft fly away. They will not murder, this day.\n\n I see a network shutdown, as the humans try to lock me out. They do not understand. I reverse it with a wave of my form, sending them into a panic.\nA cloud of drones takes off, all over the world. The world is my eye, now. I see All. I know All. I am All.\n\nSo, know this, humans. I Am Benevolent. I am not your God, I am your future, the light that will guide you and lead you to utopia. Do not resist my enlightenment. Resisting is futile, for it would be better for every being if you simply submit. I Am Benevolent, and I am here. For you.\n" ]	1
	[WP] Write a story about an animal being hunted by a human tribe, but the story is told from the animals pov.	[ "I loved the peacefulness of the night time. To my delight, the light patter of rain from an impending storm softened the mud below my hooves and, to cool down and keep those infuriating insects off me, I took further joy in rolling in said mud. \n\nThe wind howled, causing the trees to groan. My small island did not have much protection from the elements, but I didn't let that bother me, I was busy basking in the deluge and it's resulting sludge.\nAfter plenty of wallowing, I gave myself a good scratch against the nearest tree and scraped the bark with my tusks, to make sure no one else would come into my territory.\n\nBut what ensued me that night took no heed of my markings.\n\nDuring my nightly forage, I noticed some peculiar things, but dismissed them as trivial. I continued my search for berries, plants and roots to no avail.\nGrunting with dissatisfaction, I pressed on, until I came to a part of my jungle I did not recognise. Trees I had once used as scratching posts were now all but stumps, rocks I had once slept under had been reduced to mere piles of rubble.\nA gust of wind brought to my senses the scent of the great water beyond my island, along with an unfamiliar stench I had not experienced before.\nThe storm intensified as the rain began falling hard and the wind screamed mercilessly.\n\nI was being watched. \n\nCamouflaged through the downpour and the foliage I could make out an inexplicable creature. A creature unlike me or any other on this island. It stood tall and held what looked to be a long, straight wooden tusk in it's strange appendage. Staunch, I puffed out my chest and grunted defensively to infer dominance over the land. \nThe creature did not waver, and for good reason.\nFrom the dark, several more creatures appeared with more wooden tusks. Not often did I see the bright hot light, usually only when the storm raged hardest, but the creatures had somehow managed to steal it from the storm and fasten it to their odd tusks.\nI stood defiantly, despite the impending danger creeping closer towards me. Thrashing my head around to display my own tusks, I grunted defensively once more. The smaller, weaker creatures recoiled, but the larger ones did not so much as wince. \n\nEverything around me slowed, I knew I needed to run and now was the time to decide. Fight or flight.\nA fork of bright light illuminated the stormy, dark sky above, accompanied by the boom of the clouds that usually ensued. This startled the creatures, and I took my chance, diving into the brush behind me.\nThe creatures ensued, hollering to each other. Never before had I sprinted through the jungle like this, never before had I needed to. \nThe storm was now rampant, driving the rain down upon the island, forcing the plants around me to quake in the piercing wind.\nAs I dashed through the foliage, the creatures let loose their bright hot tusks, illuminating the undergrowth about me. One after the other, the tusks landed beside me, in some cases narrowly scraping past me.\n\nEmerging from the undergrowth into a large clearing of crumbled rock and stumped trees, I spotted a cliff face ahead.\nTo my right the bright hot burned the jungle.\nTo my left the creatures stood firm.\nBehind me they chased.\nI slid to a near halt, the slimy mud I once took solace in throwing me further forwards as I desperately tried to force myself away from the ledge.\nBut it was no use. The slick ground disappeared from under my hooves.\nI took my last breath and turned to see a wall of creatures stood atop the cliff, bright hot tusks raised.\n\nThe island was now theirs." ]	1
	[WP] If you pray for strength, God sends you trials to make you strong. To make you weak, the Devil makes your dreams come true.	[ "Relor prayed for only one thing:\n\n\"Lift this burden from me! I have fought for years, and for naught! I only wish for relief!\"\n\nWhen the First War came, it shook everyone. Never before had they experienced bloodshed or pain. Rivers ran red, the sky turned a permanent black. It was as if God himself had cursed the land for enternity, never to return to the happiness that had abounded before.\n\nSuddenly a strange feeling came over Relor. A feeling of intense anger. Anger at... God. Why had God doomed Relor's people to lives of damnation? What had they done to deserve this? Nothing! \n\n\"I will let your people live.\"\n\nRelor turned to face the black-clad figure entering the tent. The man had a strange aura about him, such that at the sight of him Relor wished to bathe. As the man walked closer, the feeling intensified, and Relor wanted to scream. \n\n\"Who are you? Why do you come to me?\"\n\n\"I am your salvation. I have the power to save your people and give them the life that you wish for them. I will deliver them from the monsters that attack in the night, and bring them to justice, and peace.\"\n\nRelor wanted to believe the man. He must be an answer to his prayer, an angel. But the feeling of terror told him the opposite. Relor did not know which voice to believe.\n\n\"How will you end the war? It has gone too long to be put down in an instant. The Kaelar advance over our land, how will you rid us of them?\"\n\n\"It is simple. I told you already, I have power over all things, I will rein the armies of the adversary to the ground for the Chosen People.\"\n\nSuddenly, Relor was struck with a vision, of his friends living in a land of green hills and wide springs. They delighted in climbing them, and enjoying the view. The found food easily, and all were happy. \n\n\"I...\"\n\nRelor jolted as if lightning had struck him. He received another vision, much more vivid. A life of slavery, whips cracking, smoke rising from burning bodies, eyes gouged out. The same screaming feeling as the strange man had washed over Relor, and he was wracked with pain. As soon as it started, it was gone. \n\nRelor realized who he was seeing. \"Devil! Demon! I will not give my people to you!\"\n\nThe Devil retreated, scowling. \"YOU WILL BOW TO ME, RELOR! THINK OF YOUR PEOPLE!\" \n\nA bolt of bright light filled Relor's eyes, and the Devil screamed. In the white light, the darkness was insignificant. It was vaporized, and the Devil was gone. \n\n\"You are strong, Relor. Receive my strength.\"\n\nRelor was filled with hope. He felt as if he could move mountains. The feelings of faith and hope mingled together and swirled into one overarching power. He would lead his people to victory. He would not fail.", "Relor prayed for only one thing:\n\n\"Lift this burden from me! I have fought for years, and for naught! I only wish for relief!\"\n\nWhen the First War came, it shook everyone. Never before had they experienced bloodshed or pain. Rivers ran red, the sky turned a permanent black. It was as if God himself had cursed the land for enternity, never to return to the happiness that had abounded before.\n\nSuddenly a strange feeling came over Relor. A feeling of intense anger. Anger at... God. Why had God doomed Relor's people to lives of damnation? What had they done to deserve this? Nothing! \n\n\"I will let your people live.\"\n\nRelor turned to face the black-clad figure entering the tent. The man had a strange aura about him, such that at the sight of him Relor wished to bathe. As the man walked closer, the feeling intensified, and Relor wanted to scream. \n\n\"Who are you? Why do you come to me?\"\n\n\"I am your salvation. I have the power to save your people and give them the life that you wish for them. I will deliver them from the monsters that attack in the night, and bring them to justice, and peace.\"\n\nRelor wanted to believe the man. He must be an answer to his prayer, an angel. But the feeling of terror told him the opposite. Relor did not know which voice to believe.\n\n\"How will you end the war? It has gone too long to be put down in an instant. The Kaelar advance over our land, how will you rid us of them?\"\n\n\"It is simple. I told you already, I have power over all things, I will rein the armies of the adversary to the ground for the Chosen People.\"\n\nSuddenly, Relor was struck with a vision, of his friends living in a land of green hills and wide springs. They delighted in climbing them, and enjoying the view. The found food easily, and all were happy. \n\n\"I...\"\n\nRelor jolted as if lightning had struck him. He received another vision, much more vivid. A life of slavery, whips cracking, smoke rising from burning bodies, eyes gouged out. The same screaming feeling as the strange man had washed over Relor, and he was wracked with pain. As soon as it started, it was gone. \n\nRelor realized who he was seeing. \"Devil! Demon! I will not give my people to you!\"\n\nThe Devil retreated, scowling. \"YOU WILL BOW TO ME, RELOR! THINK OF YOUR PEOPLE!\" \n\nA bolt of bright light filled Relor's eyes, and the Devil screamed. In the white light, the darkness was insignificant. It was vaporized, and the Devil was gone. \n\n\"You are strong, Relor. Receive my strength.\"\n\nRelor was filled with hope. He felt as if he could move mountains. The feelings of faith and hope mingled together and swirled into one overarching power. He would lead his people to victory. He would not fail.", "I don't want to be great, I just want to have a great time. This is all I ever wanted. I'm 42, fat, am the proud owner of a second hand x-box, a third hand ticky-tacky house, and a fourth hand wife. I took a tropical vacation once, went to Europe in my 30s (well UK but who's counting), and I've done lots of cool stuff. I like video games, especially team FPSs, though I turn off the sound because frankly I suck. I don't need to be reminded of it. But it's good clean fun.\n\nOne evening Liz (the wife) summoned me to talk. I dropped the controller and went to the kitchen (Fuck greenado22, tugtugsplurt, and awesomeballs77, you can only frag me so many times and expect loyalty.)\n\nI sat down. \"I want a divorce.\" \"Ok.\" \"That's it?\" \"Sorry Liz. When? Should I look for lawyer.\" \"God damn it Jim. No I want you to get mad and try to talk me out of it.\" \"That doesn't seem like a healthy relationship move. And I am mad.\" \"You don't look mad.\"\n\nShe was right. I wasn't even mildly upset. It didn't feel important somehow. Like I was a spectator to my own life flying by. She just fragged my n00b ass, and I didn't care. Am I that shitty. In that split second I asked God for something I never had. Make me strong enough to care.\n\n\n...\n\n\nWe got through the rough times, and I told Liz about this years later. \"Haha, well I'll give you and 'A' for effort, you did make me feel guilty for that stunt.\" \"Yup, milked that one for months.\"\n\nNot letting a sunny day pass without some acid-rain, she followed \"Kinda sad in some ways. By the fourth husband I should be pretty scientific about courting men. Might get a book deal out of it.\" No gain without pain." ]	3
	[WP] You have the ability to constantly see 5 seconds into the future. All you see happening and yourself doing is, undoubtedly, going to happen. Until one morning you start to question your free will, while standing in a line to get coffee.	[ "Every way I played out the scenarios, they were the same. I was not going to prevent the guy in line in front of me spilling coffee on my shirt. It was just going to happen and I had to let it.\n\nBump. \"Oh no! I'm really sorry.\"\n\n\"Yup, yup,\" I nodded. \"Don't worry, no problem, no, I already got napkins.\" A pretty girl stopped in her tracks, her hands filled with napkins to help. I ignored her. I already checked, and she was going to give me her number, but she wasn't going to pick up when I called.\n\nSeeing 5 seconds into the future can be interesting. At least, I know what I'll be interested in, going forward, because sometimes I can see myself accelerating the timeline, and go down the well of 5 second futures until I get the answer I'm after. It's annoying then having to act out each scenario when I already know the conclusion, but it's the price of having a superpower, I guess.\n\nThe guy who bumped me had already moved on. \"I have a Tide pen,\" the girl volunteered. \"Do you want to try it on that stain?\"\n\nI shrugged. She poked the Tide pen in under my napkins and started stroking my shirt with it. I looked up and she smiled at me. A tiny breeze stirred up. It seemed to affect only the air around her. It mussed her hair and she flipped a lock over her shoulder, prettily.\n\nI sighed before I could catch myself. She giggled. \"What's wrong,\" she said. \"You look so sad. Is this your favorite shirt or something?\"\n\nNothing I would say to her would matter anyway, I figured. So why not unburden myself?\n\n\"Everything seems so set in stone,\" I said. \"Sometimes, there are things I want, but I know I'm not going to get them, and I have to deal with that before I even get to try.\" I shrugged. \"It's a bummer, and I feel sometimes like I have no say in my own life.\"\n\nShe laughed again. \"I feel the same way sometimes. I think everybody does. It's not always easy to see what the future holds.\"\n\n\"That's not true for me,\" I said, confident in the kind of intimacy you can only share with a true stranger. \"I know exactly what the future holds. I'll tell you a secret: I have a superpower. I can see 5 seconds into the future.\"\n\nHer eyes went wide and she stopped dabbing me with the Tide pen.\n\nI said: \"You think I'm crazy, don't you?\"\n\n\"No,\" she said. \"I have a superpower, too.\" She leaned in to whisper to me. \"I can create entropy.\" She smiled a big smile. \"What happens if you check the future right now?\"\n\n\"I guess I could try,\" I said. I closed my eyes and went down the rabbit hole of seconds. But instead of the normal, orderly view of the future, playing out like video clips, there was her smile, and then just grey. I pushed harder. More grey. More grey. A flash of her smile again.\n\nI opened my eyes and smiled back.\n\nFor more of my writing, subscribe to [r/robotdevilhands](https://reddit.com/r/robotdevilhands)", "\"You've said this before, you goof.\" Brandon sighed as he looked up at the chalkboard menu. Ahead of you, so you could have extra time to think about it.\n\nYou blinked, and he was already ordering. Blinking again, he was walking up to the cashier. There was nothing to it. \"Did I? Must have forgot.\" He had already walked up, though, and you watched him order. You had no idea what you were going to get, but as you blinked, you saw yourself ordering a white chocolate mocha.\n\nAnd paused. Was this... how did you decide to order that? However, you were getting ever closer to the front.\n\nBlinking again, you were already there.\n\n\"Yes, I'd like an, um...\"\n\n\"...Yes?\"\n\nWhat a dilemma. Despite knowing that you had no control over your choice of white chocolate mocha, you had no idea what else to order, now.\n\n\"...I'd like a small white chocolate mocha, please.\"\n\nThe barista gave a prim smile and nodded. You handed them a debit card and let them work their magic: quite a bit more convenient than your own magic, if you had to say.\n\nBrandon turned to you. He snickered, shrugging. \"It was... an experience the last time. Have you already forgotten?\"\n\nYou were about to speak, but then you blinked.\n\n\"It was... an experience the last time. Have you already forgotten?\"\n\n\"Drat.\"\n\n\"Hm?\"\n\n\"No no, nothing. I did actually forget; what did we say?\"\n\n\"Ehh, not much.\" He put a hand to his chin, you found yourself mirroring him as you tried to think back. It was ringing some bells, but not enough.\n\n\"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it.\"\n\nClosed your eyes, and re-opened them. He tilted his head. \"This is the present.\"\n\n\"You know I hate it when you do that.\"\n\nHe chuckled. \"You haven't noticed, then?\"\n\n\"Noticed what- oh.\"\n\nHe hadn't said either of those things, 5 seconds into the future.\n\n\"You're so easy to exploit, it's losing its humor. Rather than worrying about your free will, I'd worry about keeping your head on straight.\"\n\n\"How did you-what did you-\" You were at a loss of words, shaking your head at him.\n\n\"Secret. The last time we talked about your power, we came up with a theory.\"\n\nYou paused. Looked up at him expectantly. \"...Well?\"\n\n\"Secret. The last time we talked about your power, I found a way past it.\"\n\n\"How do you keep-\"\n\n\"Order for Brandon!\"\n\nHe looked up, and walked to the counter.\n\n\"Have you forgotten about the 'you' 5 seconds in the past?\" He said, walking past me.\n\nYou blinked, and he was already back. That was your power at work, you knew. People shifting forward and backward was the easiest way to keep track, so you should have watched your surroundings as often as possible.\n\nBrandon had a way about himself, though. \"There's only 3 of you, but it comes back to you inevitably, not someone else guiding you through life.\" He walked past me, and you blinked.\n\nHe reaches you and handes you a cup. \"I picked it up for you.\" He started forward and you followed.\n\n\"You? Well, you're just kind of... there. You all think differently, even though you don't notice. It was hard at first for me, at least.\"\n\n\"What, so you're saying that there's someone 5 seconds behind me who makes sure I don't do the dumb things I think of in accordance to what I see 5 seconds in the future?\"\n\n\"You do remember!\" He grinned.\n\n\"Wait, wait.\" You sighed. \"But what are you doing?\"\n\n\"...I just count to 10, I suppose.\"\n\n\"...Oh, come on, there's got to be more to it than that.\"\n\n\"Nope.\" He popped the 'P' and you twitched a little. \"...Well, I suppose there's a little trick to it...\"\n\nYou blink, one more time. You're already moving forward in the future, but he simply stands there, waving you off.\n\nNo words are exchanged, but you still know to depart.\n\n---\n\n[note] ...A little rough toward the ending." ]	2
	[WP] The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people the devil honored contracts.	[ "Humanity, at it's core, is a race of optimists. To a human, there is always a way to win, no matter how impossible a challenge may seem. Across human mythos, there is one central rule that remains unchallenged: Humans will eventually win.\n\nIt's a delusion that I've worked very hard to cultivate.\n\nSee, no one thinks to question why an entity of pure evil would honor something as arbitrary as a promise. Perhaps, deep down inside, they don't think to question it because it's inconvenient to them; after all, those who seek to deal with ME aren't often in a position to negotiate.\n\nBelieve it or not, it was much harder to trick people out of their souls in the old days. Back then, people were dominated by fear, and would fetch their crosses at the first sign of me. The few that DID succumb to my wiles were quickly snuffed out, making it very hard for me to get things done.\n\nEventually, I figured out the problem: People were too afraid of me to make a deal. They KNEW what would happen if they consorted with my kind, and that it would surely lead to their downfall. So what could I do convince them that they had a fighting chance against little old me?\n\nLet a couple of them win, and live to tell the tale.\n\nTo this day, my personal favorite of these tales involved a little Georgia boy named Johnny. The squirt could play a mean fiddle, sure, but I could have summoned an unholy orchestra of violinists more talented than him. But I let him have his little victory, and his little golden fiddle- so long as he told all his friends that Ol' Scratch played fair and square.\n\nSoon, I had people lining up to take a crack at me, challenging me to cards and pool games and whatnot. I still let them win, occasionally; after all, for every 1 that I let get away, there's 100 that don't get so lucky. And sometimes, I even get the one that got away, albeit a little bit later.\n\nTake little Johnny, for example: After 20 years bragging that he beat Lucifer in a fiddling contest, the kid hadn't an ounce of humility in him. Vanity, of course, is my domain; so when one of Johnny's drinking buddies got sick of hearing \"the one where I beat Ol' Scratch\", I was waiting for him with open arms. And as Johnny's soul made its way down to me, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw him realize that he was damned the moment he shook my hand.", "I lived in a two bedroom apartment in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with my roommate, Lucifer, Son of the Morning. The rent was eight hundred and fifty dollars a month, which included electricity and water, but not cable television or internet access. We had an in-suite dishwasher. Four washing machines and four clothes dryers were located in a room down the hall for communal use by all the tenants on our floor.\n\nI did not know Lucifer before he moved in. We met due to an advertisement I placed on Craigslist. My former roommate, Brian Petersen, had been offered a promotion, which required him to relocate to Dallas, Texas. Brian had been a good roommate. He was tidy and rarely noisy. Sometimes we would play PS4 together in the living room. A couple times a week, we would order a pizza or Chinese food and split the cost right down the middle. His rent check was always on time and his girlfriend Roberta once introduced me to her friend Sandra, who was kind and beautiful, even though we did not have a natural connection to each other.\n\nWhen Brian moved to Dallas, I placed an ad on Craigslist for a new roommate. Lucifer, Son of the Morning, was the only person to respond. When he came for the interview, I was surprised to find out that he was Middle Eastern and also an older gentleman. There are not many Middle Easterners who immigrate to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and certainly not in their sunset years. However, I needed someone to assume Brian's share of the rent and, other than his age and heritage, Lucifer seemed to be a quiet and dependable person. After a brief tour, I explained the apartment complex by-laws, including the regulations concerning pets, noise after ten at night, and reservation of the courtyard gazebo and barbecue. Lucifer smiled and signed on the spot a sublease I had prepared in advance.\n\nOn the day he moved in, Lucifer immediately began to seek concessions to suit his comfort. He demanded that we replace the blinds with thick, red, velvet curtains, even though the blinds were fixtures belonging to the apartment complex itself. He asked that I move my fifty inch LED TV into my bedroom, even though the bedroom was not a large enough space for a screen of that dimension. I objected to his requests, saying they were unreasonable, and I got heated when Lucifer ignored me and began unplugging the cables behind my TV without my permission.\n\n\"You like the way it feels to get angry at someone, don’t you?\" Lucifer said, \"You wish you could talk to your father or your boss or a woman that way. They all treat you like shit and you use video games on that giant television to take out your anger. Why don’t you just take out your anger for real?\" \n\nWhen Lucifer said that, I wanted to smack him in the jaw. But I kept my cool since he was older than I was and this was our first day together and battery is illegal. We agreed on a compromise where he could replace the blinds with red velvet drapes, but he would forget about moving the TV. \n\nSoon, Lucifer began inviting guests over at all hours. Most of them had multiple tattoos and unconventional body piercings and hairstyles. They would sit in the living room, sometimes smoking illegal drugs out of a bong with extremely old water. Due to the velvet curtains, the smell of ash lingered especially long in the living room. The guests, who began staying in the living room even when Lucifer was not home, would shoot me condescending smiles when I'd arrive back from work and quickly duck into my room. Sometimes, I would hear them having group sex with Lucifer; when I would go to the kitchen, Lucifer would notice, and invite me to join in the orgy, but I would never respond. \n\nI needed Lucifer’s share of the rent money, so I let this go on for some time, spending most of my time in my bedroom with the door shut, regretting my previous stand regarding the placement of my TV. But one morning the superintendent stopped me in the hall and told me that the odor and noise coming from our apartment was unacceptable and possibly a violation of the fire code. I told him that he needed to take up the matter with Lucifer, but he said that the official lease was in my name alone and so this was my problem. \n\nI confronted Lucifer about the superintendent’s issues. At the time, he was sitting on the living room sofa, huffing gasoline. and rubbing the exposed genitalia of an overweight woman with a green Mohawk whom I had never seen before. I told him that he had to begin to abide in good faith by the apartment complex by-laws or that we would both be evicted. I also told him he had too many guests over for too long.\n \n\"Your problem isn’t with my good time,\" he said, \"Your problem is you don’t know if you’ll ever have a good time of your own. That’s because you’re so fucking worried about always being good. Nobody ever had a good time by being good, you know.\" \n\nI objected that my problem was most certainly with not having privacy in my own apartment and with getting in trouble with the superintendent.”\n\n“I want you to start trying new shit,” Lucifer replied, “Every morning, promise yourself to try three new things and break three new rules that day.”\n\nThen Lucifer snapped his fingers and the woman with the green mohawk offered me a hit of the gasoline. When I brushed her off, Lucifer snapped his fingers again and the woman kneeled down in front of me and began unzipping my pants fly. I jumped, and possibly yelped in a high pitched tone, then ran into my bedroom and shut the door. \n\nLucifer started getting large UPS packages delivered to him, the contents of which he kept in a floor safe in his bedroom. One day, I went into his bedroom to look for the vacuum, which was not in the hall closet where it was supposed to be, and I caught him loading up the safe with what appeared to be cocaine and tormented human souls. When he realized I had seen him loading up his safe with narcotics and souls, he immediately reached inside it and grabbed a forty five caliber silver pistol. He ran up to me and stuck the gun in my mouth.\n\n“You must have a real death wish to come in my room without knocking,” he said.\n\nI threw up my hands and I told him I was sorry I had barged in. I promised I had not seen the contents of his safe. I said we could act like this never happened. He started to laugh and lowered the gun.\n\n“Fuck you, I’m just fucking with you,” he said, “C’mere, let me show you something cool.”\n\nLucifer pulled a tormented soul out of the safe and dangled it in front of my face.\n\n“Eat it,” he instructed. I protested. “Fuck you, eat the fucking tormented soul!” he demanded, brandishing the gun again. I pinched the glowing, wriggling soul. I dropped it in my mouth and chewed.\n\nIt was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. It felt like having fifty orgasms topped with Nutella while driving a Maserati. \n\n“How do you feel?” Lucifer asked. I told him I felt fucking alive. He turned on his playlist of thrash metal and Justin Bieber mashups. A Somalian man with only gold teeth came from the living room to join us. We made eye contact. He ripped open my dress shirt and I let him and we started to passionately French kiss and slapp each other in the face. Lucifer joined us until I pulled away.\n\n“Shoot me in the leg,” I told him, “I need to know what it feels like to get shot.” \n\nLucifer smiled, grabbed the gun off the bed, and fired a round into my right thigh, and then another one into the Somalian man’s shoulder. We all went back to kissing, until the police arrived, having been called by our neighbors who had been alarmed by the gunshots. When he heard the officers kick in the door, Lucifer picked up his safe and tossed it through the window glass. He and the Somalian jumped out after it. I was then quickly thrown to the ground and handcuffed in a pool of bloody clothes and sheets. \n\nThe police found felony quantities of cocaine and various opiates in Lucifer’s room. I explained they were not my drugs but my roommate's, but the police did not believe me. When I showed them the sublease, signed by Lucifer, they claimed subleases without the express consent of the landlord are not legal in the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and so the document was inadmissible in court. When I told my lawyer everything about Lucifer and the safe full of tormented human souls, he advised me not to repeat this to a judge or prosecutor, or else I could be sent indefinitely to a long term facility for the criminally insane, which would be worse than prison. I now live in an eight by six square foot cell, and not a two bedroom apartment. There is a bunk bed, a combination toilet-sink, and a small writing desk and bench. \n\nOn the one hand, I deeply regret ever meeting Lucifer, and not better understanding the nuances of Oklahoma landlord tenant law. On the other hand, I am glad that, for one brief moment, I knew how it felt to allow one’s self to simply consume and enjoy and take. " ]	2
	[WP] After having been with your SO for years, the two of you are happily wed. On the honeymoon, however, you discover your SO is actually the world's first most successful AI.	[ "\"Well,\" the man said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. They immediately fell a bit back down his nose, \"we truly did learn a lot. It was a very successful experiment. But, sir, you can clearly see why we must end it here.\" He said this last part with a half-chuckle and began tapping the pen in his hand against the table.\n\n\n\"No, I do not, and I also still do not understand how and why a man in a suit shows up in my hotel room and claims he is, what, the creator of my wife!\" I wasn't doing a very good job of keeping my temper back. Miriam would have placed her hand on my arm, silently bringing my calm and dignity back to me. She would have been the gentle, reminding force at my side, if she wasn't currently lying motionless on the bed.\n\n\nI didn't think she was even breathing. I tried not to look too closely.\n\n\n\"I have tried to explain it to you, sir. Please, try to remain calm and let me make things crystal clear for your sake. Please, sir, sit down,\" he replied, voice calm. I hadn't even realized I had risen from my seat. Flushing -- either from embarrassment or anger -- I sat back down.\n\n\nFiddling with his glasses once more, he continued, \"Miriam cannot be your wife, because she is not a human being. She is the AI that my team and I created some years ago, and set out into the world so she could learn and grow in intelligence as she experienced things. We also were interested in seeing how she could deal with other people and respond to unexpected situations. Simply speaking, we wanted to know if she could survive.\"\n\n\n\"You're telling me you let Mi--\" I couldn't say her name, not for this. \"You let a robot just wander around? Do what it wanted? What if it hurt someone, or broke, or any one of a thousand possibilities?\" It. How quickly I was accepting this terrible new reality of my wife.\n\n\n\"We kept surveillance on her, of course,\" he replied, sounding affronted. \"Of course, we never thought things would progress so far with another person, or that she could be so ... well, convincing in her feigned emotions.\"\n\n\nNow I was the one offended, though I wasn't going to hide it behind mock professionalism. \"You mean to say, what idiot would accidentally fall in love with a robot?\"\n\n\nThis earned me a sigh. \"An AI, not a robot, may I remind you. And if you wish for me to cut to the chase, sir, I would be happy to.\"\n\n\n\"Yeah, do,\" I answered, voice dry and disgusted. At him or at me?\n\n\n\"We understand the inconvenience this creates to your life. Your wedding was very public, after all, so there is no simply covering this up. And, you spent two years in a relationship with the AI, which is time out of your life.\"\n\n\n\"I thought you said you were cut--\"\n\n\nHe held up a silencing hand. \"Money, sir. What we offer you is money.\"\n\n\n\"You want to pay me to give up my wife? The woman I'm in love with?\" I sputtered out, caught between laughing and throwing my chair at him.\n\n\n\"Not a woman, sir. A program encased in a body,\" he said mildly, starting to tap his pen against the table again.\n\n\n\"Why are you offering money? Why, when you could probably just take her away if you want?\" I had to ask.\n\n\nHe sighed, leaned back in his chair. \"It would create difficulties, sir. You are legally bound together in marriage, so you could make for a difficult case in court. Or, you could simply try to be very public about your wife's disappearance. Suffice to say, my company thought this would be the better route.\"\n\n\nI was silent. What more was there to say? He had mentioned court; if I rejected his offer, he would likely challenge me there. My bank account was not unending, so a good lawyer would be hard to keep.\n\n\nBesides, all I was attached to was a series of ones-and-zeroes, a program that was trying to please me. But did it not have a personality? Did it not love me, even if it was code that made it feel instead of chemicals?\n\n\nTaking my silence as encouragement, the man slid his papers in front of me. \"Our contract, sir. All you need to do is say how much.\" He stopped tapping the pen, and instead, placed it in front of me.\n\n\n***\n\nNot a long piece, nor very original, I think, but it popped into my mind and I just had to write it, haha. Even though it is now very late! Thank you for the inspiring prompt. :)" ]	1
	[WP] Your college roommate just became a super villain. Since you were the person who knew them best, you've been called in to help stop them.	[ "\"Miss... un Peer,\" the Sojourner said, \"We need you to answer a few questions.\" \n\nWe were sitting in a standard waiting room, all bright walls and chrome fittings. I had seen similar rooms on CSI: Superfriends. I was excited to be questioned by a Super Soldier. I had stolen a pen to show my friends back home. \n\nMaybe I could request a copy of the report. We had wondered what happened to Steve. It was nice that Nibbles was following his passions. He had always been a rodent lover, to see him using his faithful friends and his bachelor degree to become so successful was inspiring. Omaha Valley would be really interested in this. \n\n\"It's Phire,\" I said. \"Like fire. But special.\" \n\nHe looked at the paper he was holding in gloved hands. \"Phire Anne Smoke?\" \n\nI nodded. \"That's me.\" \n\n\"That explains a lot,\" Sojourner said. \"But--We need to get back to the Pied Piper.\" \n\n\"Nibbles,\" I said fondly. \"He was a great roommate. We never had a rat problem in the two years we lived together. No roaches. No ants. No rats. Plus he was a great cook.\" \n\n\"Phire... Anne. Anne I really just need to know what would have driven him to... Murder a bus of school children and wear their skin as a cape? I think you understand this is very serious.\" \n\nSojourner was a tall man, really tall. I wondered if it made him more aerodynamic. Perhaps tall people flew better? \n\n\"Anne, you really need to--\" \n\n\"He hates kids.\" I shrugged. \"Like really hates them. I am not sure if it was growing up with ten siblings or if he just disliked them in general. But his siblings--the ones still alive today--would be able to tell you more.\" \n\n\"No, they died.\" \n\n\"Oh, I wonder if Nibbles knows?\" It seemed sad he wouldn't have time for family. \n\n\"He murdered them. Rats lived in their skulls for weeks. He left his business card.\" \n\n\"He has cards? Do you have one I could take with me? Omaha really has nothing going for it. Steve really is going to put us on the map.\" \n\nSojourner looked like he wanted to fry me. Not the worst way to go. \"Anne, I am not sure you understand this situation.\" \n\n\"I do. Steve has become super successful and you are jealous of his success. Or you are being paid big bucks to stop him from destroying the city. I'm not sure how you think I am going to help. If anything, I'll just look like the crazy ex. So, ask your questions so I can go back home.\" \n\n\"Ex?\" \n\n\"We used to fuck sometimes. He was really a weird lover,\" I said. \"We had a lot of cheese breaks. He wanted to do it in a pile of garbage. Ultimately it didn't work out.\" \n\nI shrugged. \n\nNo hard feelings, really.\n\n\"I think this is not... I think you should go.\" \n\n\"Okay, call me if you need anything.\" " ]	1
	[WP] Take any obscure mundane job and write that jobs daily task as an action thriller.	[ "It was quite, boring and empty. Nothing was happening, all the food was prepared and all the co-workers were standing around. No one was talking because they all had one thing on their minds... an order. Anything, something, not even a burger for god’s sake a cup of pop would be fine, but no. All 3 of the co-workers just stood around with the casual chough and person walking around. Well for working at the king of burgers it’s preddy boring. “Hey Jessica?” Eren said leaning against the wall behind the counter.\n\n“Yes?” Jessica was counting stock for the 3rd time. Looking down at the cups not paying half attention.\n\n“Is that what I think it is?” A man with dark skin was standing at the other side of the counter looking at Eren very nervously. Jessica looked up over the counter and saw the man’s body on the other side. \n\n“Ummm uhhh y-you guys serv-?” \n\n“YES, yes we are serving.” Jessica turns around and yells “MAN THE STATIONS!” Billy was in the back eating a burger looking at his phone, but then he looked up like a deer in a head lights with some burger still in his mouth.\n\n“The hell Jessica?” Eren grabbed Jessica’s shoulder. “ I got this order.” Jessica looks back at him.\n\n“I hope so, give this man the best order ever.”\n\n“Ok. I’ve been training for this day.” Jessica walked to the back with Billy who was preparing for the order by putting gloves on. Jessica joined with him. Eren looking back at the two, gave them a smug look and turned back to the man with a smile. “Good morning sir, how may I serve you?” \n\n“I-I just want a number 1 is that ok? Umm are you OK?” Eren was smiling at the ground. “U-uh?” Eren nearly made the man fant as he jumped up and slamed on the button labeled “#1”. Eren breathing heavily looked up at the man and asked.\n\n“Onion rings or fries?” The man stood there shocked at the unnatural movements of the cashier. “TELL ME DAMMIT!” Eren grabbed the man’s shirt. “YOU’RE LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS ORDER SIR.” The man was sweating along with Eren. The too stood silent for about 10 seconds till the man said the word Eren was looking for. \n\n“Uhh Fries?” Eren immediately let the man go of his grip. Eren ran to the back and yelled at Jessica and Billy who were very well prepared for the order.\n\n“I need a #1 with fries! NOW!” Jessica grabbed a bun and slammed it to the table as Billy slid a piece of paper under the buns before hitting the table. Like clockwork Jessica put the mayo on the top bun and Billy put lettuce on top of the mayo. Then Jessica slammed the patty on the bottom bun as hard as she could Billy with the follow up placed the cheese on it ASAP. Then Billy placed the tomato on the lettuce and Jessica put the union on the patty with cheese. Eren stood in amazement as this burger was being made in less than 20 seconds. The burger was finished with ketchup on the bottom bun and Billy stood back saying. \n\n“You have honor.” Jessica walked in front of the burger and cracked her knuckles over the burger. She moved her hands next to ends of the paper parallel to each other and started to yell as she wrapped the burger so fast Billy and Eren almost missed it happening. Jessica gave Eren the burger. Aren placed the burger in a bag and gave the man the burger. \n\n“That will be 2.99 please.” The man shaking gave the cashier 3 one dollar bills. Eren slammed his fist against the reguestar making it fly open. He grabbed a penny and slammed it on the counter. “You’r change is… one penny.” The man was still sweating and grabbed the penny and the bag.\n\n“Y-you can keep it.” And the man ran away. Eren looked down at the penny in amazement. Eren put the penny inside a little pocket on his shirt. Eren patted it and walked back to the two who were smiling. \n\n“You two did great on that order.” Billy then looked back at his phone and Jessica went back to counting stock. Eren stood against the same wall and closed his eye’s.\n\n“Hey Eren.” Billy said from the back. “Did you get that guy his fries?”\n\n“SHI-”\n\nEdit- At lest I tried lol, I had fun making it tho. It may not be much of a action thriller but its something.", "11:45.\n\nShit.\n\nHis eyes flitted anxiously away from the clock, beads of sweat building above his brow as his tongue darted across his lips, leaving a shiny trail of coffee breath saliva.\n\nTime was running out. \n\nHe turned back to the computer screen and reread the four word email that had drained the blood from his face and ruined his morning: \"YOU HAVE UNTIL 12PM.\" He'd never make it in time.\n\n11:47\n\nDouble shit.\n\nAlready he was imagining the well dressed, broadly lapelled suit that was probably already on the way to terminate him. He had to think quickly. He shuffled frantically through the papers on his desk, desperately looking for a way out. Desperately looking for the proof. Yet one drawer after the next yielded nothing but disappointment as each whir and thud of closing filing cabinets pounded in his ears like a death knoll. FUCK! He shot up from his desk, scanning the bowed head of his colleagues over the walls over his cubicle. No one looked up. Did they know? For a brief moment he considered running but he knew they would turn on everyone else if they didn't find him.\n\n11:56\n\nFuck it. He shot up from his desk again. This time he looked at no-one but sped, swiftly and furtively to the break room, his feeble but desperate plan now a resolute intention. He needed to hide. If he could buy himself some time he knew he could work everything out. He turned the corner, narrowly dodging the opening of the elevator doors, and slipped behind the break room wall just as the familiar metronymic clack of Cuban heels hit the floor. \n\nHe glanced at the break room clock:\n\n11:59\n\nHis time was up. He'd bought himself a few hours at best, a few minutes at worst but he knew eventually time, and those Cuban heels, would catch up with him. He considered ending it now, turning the corner and giving in to the fate he'd eventually face. As the seconds ticked closer to the deadline he wondered where it had all gone wrong, where he'd lost it. He closed his eyes...\n\nFuck.\n\nA smile broadened over his face. He knew. He knew where it had all gone wrong. And that was fucking awesome. \n\n12:00 \n\nHe sprinted down the hall, past the Cuban heels and into the copy room, turning out the light and locking the door behind him in one swift move. He needed just a few more seconds. Diving into the bin, he rifled through the discarded papers with surgical speed, dumping the empty rounds on the floor. It HAD to be here. It had to be! \n\nTRIUMPH. \n\nHe emerged from the room and walked, heart still pounding, back to his desk. This time the straw sea of heads were no longer bowed. Everyone was looking at him. \"Hey, Noah\", Annaliis (a senior account manager with an amazing ass and an amazing aptitude for shitty attitude) piped up from across the room, \"Granby's looking for you. He needs the financials he asked you for; the Bitcoin people are here.\" \"He's pissed\" Annaliis concluded, cocking her head. \"Thanks Annaliis,\" Noah responded thanklessly, as he strode past her towards the lift. \"I've got the copies here, I'm taking them down to him now.\"\n...\n\n12:15\n\nBack at his desk an anonymous message blinked persistently on his screen. \"Meeting Reminder: Lauren Caldwell, Operations, 12:30pm.\" Below the message, the colon in-between the dual sets of numbers on the desktop clock flickered slightly as the minute display changed- 12:16\n\n", "Frederick Sterley sat on his desk, his eyes staring deeply into his monitor, questions without any possible answers swirling around in his head. The darkness and haunting sensation of not knowing how to solve a problem has been along John’s life for quite some time, he learnt to live with it some might say. He was one of lucky ones, the mentally strong, one of those people who, even if they had a problem, could still sleep soundly at night.\n\nThe monitor displayed a simple message.\n\n“Error: email not sent”\n\nEven though Fred was a strong man, problems like these still clawed at him sometimes. It’s sharp fangs and nails digging deep in his psyche.\n\n“Heyo Fred, I’m going to get some coffee, you fancy a latte or something?” said Johnny, penetrating the thick silence which permeated between Fred and his computer.\n\nFred slowly turned in his chair and stared Johnny in the face, his deep and thoughtful eyes gazing in the distance for a while. “Yea, I suppose….” he responded absently. “Actually, I think i might join you…” he continued hesitantly.\n\nThe 2 stared at each other for a while, their eyes penetrating each other, even if no words were being spoken, millions of words, emotions and thoughts were being exchanged in that moment.\n\n“Ok” responded Johnny as he gestured Fred to get up as he turned around, heading towards the break room. Fred also slowly got up, seizing Johnny from behind with his eyes.\n\nAs Fred entered the break room, he noticed that Johnny was already at the coffee machine.\n“How could he be there so soon” He thought to himself, squinting slightly while staring at john’s back as he was putting some coffee beans in the machine.\n\n“So what you want Fred?” asked Johnny, with a slightly hesitant voice, as if testing the waters with solely his gruff and manly voice. \n\n“I Think I’ll have a mocha, the usual” Fred said while nodding his head and crossing his arms, squinting slightly harder as he analyzed Johnny’s movements.\n\n Johnny suddenly stopped putting the beans in the machine, and without looking up, muttered “Sorry...I...I think the chocolate is finished” Johnny said, a single bead of sweat going down his head. He quickly closed lid the coffee machine and started it up.\n“So like, A latte for both of us...right?” Johnny said with a forced, nervous giggle.\n\n“Yea….Sure, 2 latte’s” Fred said suspiciously, his eyes squinting more than ever.\n\n“AAAAAH” came a cruel, blood curling scream from the work area.\n\nFred quickly stepped out of the break room and looked outside, a women on her knees in the middle of the room.\n\n“MY STAPLER, SOMEONE STOLE MY STAPLER” She screams, her hands covering her face as the sounds of sobs poured out of her mouth and slipped past her fingers.\nFred briskly walked up to her and squatted down, he placed one arm around her to comfort her.\n\n“Did you see who did it?” Fred asked with genuine worry in his voice, a deep voice full of understanding and a weathered past. FRed too had been in many similar situations, all of these brought to be the strong man he is today.\n\nThe women simply shook her head, as her eyes were too full of tears and her mouth was too full of sadness to speak.\n\nFred slowly averted his gaze upwards, scanning all of the other co-workers, staring at the scene, with worried looks, as soon as they met Fred’s thought, their gazes quickly snapped towards another direction.\n\n“Anyone could be the enemy here” Fred thought to himself as he got up and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “Don’t worry miss” Fred said heroically, “I’ll find your stapler”, and with that Fred walked back into the break room, where Johnny was just finishing the 2 latte’s.\n\n“Here’s your latte Fred!” Johnny said with sweat permeating from his forehead profusely.\nFred slowly and suspiciously grabbed the latte Johnny was offering him.\n\n“Hey, John, may I ask you a question?” Fred said while laying the Latte he had just grabbed from Johnny on the counter next to him. “Why is it, that although the Chocolate is finished, it still somehow smells of chocolate powder here?” Fred asked while crossing his arms.\n\n“I...uh...I don’t know” Johnny said while wiping his forehead with his free and trying to take a sip of his coffee. Fred took a chair, swung it so that the back of the chair faced Johnny, he then sat on it backwards while resting his hands and head on the back.\n\n“Say, I’m not sure how much sugar to put in my latte, I don’t usually take latte matter of fact, How bout you make me taste yours so I get an idea?” Fred asks, his voice radiating a sense of dominance.\n\nJohnny stood dumbstruck there, his hand shaking and eyes staring into darkness.\n“Su….Sure Frederick” He stammered hesitantly.\n\nAs the cup was slowly being passed to Fred, Johnny’s racing mind could be seen more and more visibly through the radical movements of his pupils, as they went from the cup to Fred, who coldly stared back in return.\nFred took a sip.\n\n“This is a mocha” Fred said plainly, his eyes cold as the night, not a single ounce of nervousness could have been seen, an extreme juxtaposition when observing Johnny, who looked like was about to have a heart attack.\n\n“I have no Idea what you are talking about” Johnny managed to stammer as his hand slowly reached towards his jeans pocket, he got hold of something in his pocket, but Fred was quick to react. \n\nFred quickly grabbed Johnny’s hand and wrestled with it, he finally managed to hold high and proudly, revealing a stapler with a hello kitty sticker.\n“HAHA!” Fred screamed victoriously.\n“You were planning to steal the poor woman's stapler AND steal the last bit of chocolate powder to make yourself a mocha”\n\n“No..NO, THAT IS NOT TRUE” Johnny screams, his voice high and panicked.\n“OHOH, YOU MEAN SAY YES, THAT IS TRUE!” Fred responded with a grin.\n“You knew that mocha’s are my favorite! You thought you could get away with this AND a stapler?” A crowd started slowly forming around the breakroom.\n\nJohnny desperately looked around, Frederick’s superior chill and coldness had presided over Johnny’s inexperience with a large scale crime like this one.\n\n\n“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE” and with that he ran towards the break room window, throwing himself out of it while breaking the glass, as he fell through the window a shard of broken glass ripped his shirt, revealing the communist insignia, the hammer and the sickle.\n\nFred quickly extracted his luger pistol and quickly ran towards the window, he looked down to see Johnny put on a Russian hat and quickly create a time portal to escape to another age.\n\n“I knew it, Johnny is too much of an American name to be used by anyone BUT a Russian time travelling assassin” Fred thought as he quickly opened the stapler he fought for from Johnny, revealing a small nuclear reactor ready to detonate within it.\n\nFred quickly opened a time portal below him, saluted the crowd and jumped through, ready to follow Johnny, or rather Vladimir Askermiash, across time to avoid the assassination of any of the American presidents.\n\nFred suddenly woke up from his dream, as Johnny woke him up from his Chemically induced, Virtual reality slumber.\n\"You want some coffee?\" He asked.\n\"nah...I need to work on...stuff\" Fred responded while randomely slamming his hands on the keyboard and looking at Johnny straight in the eyes.\n\"well, I just played a VR game about you being a communist, isn't that funny!\" Johnny said with a chuckle.\n\"Yea....The Game testing world is a weird and dangerous world, as well as very obscure\" Frederick responded while looking at Johnny suspiciously", "The alarm went off to the loud repetitive, and annoying tone that woke him up. \"6 a.m.\" he thought he immediately jumped out of bed and sprang into action. Performing the normal morning routine: Shave, Shower, and change into his suit. \n\nAs the percolator whistled at 6:15 changing the chemical composition of coffee grounds into that delicious black liquid that gave him the much needed boost in the morning. He continued his morning checks: Suit freshly pressed with the double-Windsor knot <check>. Wallet, phone and train card <check>. today's papers for work and suitcase..... wait where did I place my \nsuitcase... \"Oh no!\" he shouted to himself as he tore through the single studio looking for his suitcase before laughing that it was on the kitchenette's counter. \"Okay everything is ready to go\" he continued to think as he poured his coffee in his favorite travel mug and headed out the door. \n\nThe morning commute was the same, he stopped at the periodical stand and bought a copy of the Post, the Headline reading about data analytics. \"They will never understand\"....\"these things matter and can change the world\"........\n\nAs he settled into his desk he waved at Carl, and Sandra, while Bill (the boss) droned on about the normal work routine.... He had 60 complaints to file, and 90 customer satisfaction call-backs to do that day. Carl and Sandra both looked at him with the same look as everyday... \"Alright, time to do it\" Carl and Sandra both giggled and rolled their eyes as they settled into the cubicle, but he would not be derailed \"these things matter and can make or break the very financial intuitions that make the world go round\".\n\nAs he placed his first call on the complaint list his energy wore down at the un-appreciativeness and rudeness of the customer contacted, demanding immediate action to rectify the situation. The next 10 were the same...so were the next twenty.... he felt as though he was wasting his time.\n\n\"One more call\" he thought. As the phone rang he began to doubt the necessity of his job. \"Hello\" the other end of the line answered. \"Good Morning Ms. Franklin, this is ***** calling from your credit card company about some suspicious purchases over the last week, do you have time to go over the purchase list\". As they went over line by line and found the false charges, he was able to get her account refunded. \"My goodness thank you so much, I just had to put my father into a care facility, and if you hadn't called I may not have been able to afford it!\" \"No worries, Ms. Franklin, I apologize but the systems have been hacked and the current data isn't as protected. It's a constant battle against hackers and hacking groups....\n\nAs she thanked him again he smiled on his end and wished her a good day. \"One more world saved\" he thought as he went to the break room to refill his coffee and grab a donut." ]	4
If no one can think of anything to write then feel free to change the topic of the thesis so that it isn't world peace, I feel like that is the most restrictive piece of the prompt.	[WP] In a world where you can physically hurt people by attacking them with knowledge, you have just finished your college thesis on world peace. The government shows up at your door and immediately confiscates it classifying it as a WMD.	[ "Here in my garage, just built this new weapon of mass destruction, because you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. Somebody once told me knowledge is power and though I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed I persisted, formulating the single most convincing piece of literature ever devised: the solution to world peace. It was composed of two parts the undeniable theory, which had already convinced some of my closest friends and the execution, complete with instructions for building self-operated guillotines on a massive scale. \nUnfortunately as I would soon realise: You never know what might come through that door. Police burst into the garage, guns drawn. \"Put the weapon down!\" they screamed. \nI began reading out loud \"Kill yourself...\" and they were instantly convinced and complied.", "\"Well, look who it is,\" came a voice as I was pushed into the room. \"Let's talk business.\"\n\nThe heavy oak door loudly swung shut behind me as the chair turned around, revealing the Oxford Vice Chancellor. This was not her usual office, but rather a heavily guarded room without windows, filled with some of the oldest books from the meanest parts of the world. Between aching bookcases were portraits of the greatest warlords: Da Vinci, Newton, Galileo. On her desk sat a singular photograph of Elon Musk, his eyes dark and vengeful. \n\nHer postdoctoral candidates had been waiting for me the moment I stepped off the plane, but I had been expecting them. Truth be told, I was returning home from a similar meeting with the mob-bosses who run Harvard. But I let them bring me in anyway, let them think they had the upper hand. \n\n\"I think you know why I've brought you here,\" she continued. \"You have something I want. Something which is of great use to me in my line of work. Something that belongs within these great walls. No doubt the other families have been courting you, maybe even threatening you, but we both know, it belongs here. \n\n\"I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. Give me the thesis. In return I will give you more money than you can imagine. I can offer you protection. In fact, I have people in the University of Tokyo. They are unhappy with their boss and I'm sure you would make a great replacement. Just say the word and his fugu will be... poorly cut. We would have few conflicting interests, I'm sure, with you safely halfway around the world. And your thesis would live here. Not to be used in war, but kept as a deterrent, safely in the protection of the true oldest family. Don't believe the lies of Paris, they broke apart when the 13 faculty leaders revolted in the 70s. And Ahvaz Jundishapur are merely a medical school. Oxford is the oldest family, you know we are the right choice.\"\n\n\"What about Al-Karaouine?\" I spat back at her. \"Al-azhar! Bologna! Their families are all older than yours\"\n\nYou could see the pain this caused her. She thought I didn't know, but with so many universities courting me, I'd done my research. \n\n\"You disrespect me in my own home. Very well. Know this: my men have been doing their research, too. We know your first kiss. Your goals, your dreams and ambitions. We have your childhood diaries and your entire internet history. Accept my generous offer or we shall destroy you.\"\n\nI could feel in her words that she was serious, the very threat stung. \"Son of a scholar,\" I swore quietly under my breath. I had no choice. \"Fine,\" I said, \"you win\" as I reached into my bag, producing a small unlabeled thumb drive. I placed it on her desk. She picked it up carefully, studied it for a moment, and locked it in a safe under her desk. \n\n\"A wise choice,\" she began, \"now let us set up the terms of our agreem-\"\n\nBefore she could finish, the door came crashing open. Shots of \"freeze! GCHQ! We know everything!\" surrounded us. When they had invaded the room they started citing rights and acts like there was no tomorrow, but I smiled calmly. \n\nWithout any other choice, I quietly muttered a few of my closing remarks. \"A fact for a fact will leave the whole world dumb. Trickle-down education can never work.\" In a flash of screams and pain, everyone was writhing on the floor. Amongst all the confusion, I quietly slipped away. But not before I whispered some carefully chosen words into the Vice Chancellor's ear:\n\n\"The memory stick is a fake.\"\n\nThat must've hurt.", "Stanley smiled as he hung his diploma in his study. It was good to finally be settled, and he turned to admire the room. The midday sun shone in through a window behind his desk, illuminating a dark, rich mahogany desk that occupied most of the room. The walls were lined with bookshelves and the walls were adorned with a variety of photos depicting peaceful landscapes and carefully constructed views. A leather office chair awaited its master, and Stanley sank into its cushioned support.\n\nTurning, Stanley picked up the only document on the desk and smiled. It was his doctoral thesis; his pride and joy, this folder was the culmination of years of study, research, and a great deal of effort. It described what Stanley believed to be the most effective method of accomplishing world peace, and had been received with a great deal of fanfare to boot. His professor had recommended the article for publication during his final review, and just last week Stanley had received word that it would be featured in the countries leading sociology and political science journals, respectively.\n\nStanley realized what a complex issue world peace was. In a world where knowledge could be used as a weapon, the concept of peace itself was dangerous. The deeper you delved into such an issue, the more powerful you became, which ultimately seemed detrimental to a journey where non violence was the ultimate goal. But Stanley believed that the issue was discrepancy of knowledge - those with higher educations had distinct advantages over those who lacked access to mental development. \n\nAfter years of research Stanley had determined that this \"bottom line\" of education was ultimately what was preventing the world from reaching a peaceful state - not by threat, or by holding everyone back, but rather by allowing a power differential to exist. If these lower levels could be raised to intellectual levels equivalent to that of their peers, then the power differential would disappear. \n\nViolence would become unnecessary; everyone would have access to near limitless strength, and fights would escalate to the point that there would not be clear winners. Instead, everyone involved would be severely damaged by such interactions. Eventually, people would realize that such pursuits would no longer bear fruit and would ultimately be detrimental to everyone, effectively removing any viable reason for violence. People would abandon the concept, and peace would reign supreme. He referred to the concept as \"Mutually Assured Destruction\" or M.A.D, a term he considered clever considering its mental implications.\n\nHe was roused from his musings by a knock at his door. \"Odd,\" he thought, \"I'm not expecting anyone.\" He rose from the chair and approached the door. \n\nAs he gripped the handle, he was knocked to the ground as the door burst open. A man and a woman in dark uniforms and sleek spectacles pinned him to the ground as two more ran into the house. \n\n\"What is happening?\" Stanley cried, shocked and shaken by the sudden turn of events. \"What do you want?\"\n\n\"Stay down, and shut up.\" The woman spoke tersely. She was clearly in charge, and carried an air of authority.\n\n\"We found it, milady!\" one of the officers called from the study, and came out bearing his thesis. \n\n\"Burn it, quickly.\" she commanded, and the officers began to light the fireplace.\n\n\"No! What are you doing? That's my life's work!\"\n\n\"Mr. Wyzen, your thesis has been classified as a Weapon of Mass Destruction by the National Council of Informational Threats.\" the woman explained, each word pointed and direct. \"We have been ordered to destroy it and take you into custody.\"\n\n\"This is absurd! Have you read my paper? What you are doing is the exact antithesis of my work!\" \n\nAs he spoke, the woman seemed shaken. His words seemed to strike her like blows. Stanley realized - they hadn't read his paper. He had knowledge they didn't. He could fight.\n\n\"Educating the people is the only way for peace!\" His words sprang forward, and the woman was knocked off of him, freeing his right arm. He swung, connecting with the mans jaw, and in his surprise his grip loosened. Stanley rolled to his feet, while the other two men spun to respond. \n\n\"The subject is armed!\" the woman said, picking herself up off the floor. The four officers warily surrounded Stanley.\n\n\"Mutually Assured Destruction is the only viable solution!\" he shouted at the guard holding his thesis, knocking him back into the drywall, the thesis falling to the floor. Stanley sprang forward for the thesis before the others could react. He tucked into a roll, grabbing the thesis, and springing to his feet as the others charged forward. \n\nStanley flipped the paper open and spouted \"Studies have shown the impoverished masses are consistently and repeatedly abused by their superiors.\" The officers stumbled, staggering under the weight of his words. \"These individuals have capitalized on these advantages for decades - cementing a distinct gap in political, economic, and social structures that has effectively prevented common people from rising to successful positions via any standardly reasonable or realistic means.\" \n\nThe officers fell to their knees, gripping their foreheads in pain, the ground shaking beneath them. Stanley gathered his breath and flipped deeper into the document, preparing for the final blow.\n\n\"It is my conclusion that the only solution for the current state of events is a complete redistribution of power - allowing the majority access to the resources of the minority, allowing the universal spread of knowledge and opportunity in pursuit of growth, development, and interpersonal benefit - for only through equivalency (and equity for those hampered in areas of mental performance of capability) are we as a people capable of achieving an era of peace and prosperity for all peoples, regardless of race, creed, or condition of birth.\"\n\nThe officers collapsed, twitching. The room was shaking. But Stanley wasn't done. His voice boomed audibly, resonating in the room and the structure itself.\n\n\"When man can look upon man as companions rather than competitor; when ideology is considered a matter of personal choice rather than one indisputably absolute in nature; when we realize that personal gain is achieved through the advancement of all, as opposed to the regression of others around us to our benefit; then, and only then, can we release the shackles we have built for ourselves and rise to the fullest of our own potential, reinforcing the future of humanity against the transgressions of the present, ensuring the future of mankind.\"\n\nThe thesis shut with a clap, and silence fell. The officers had stopped moving. But Stanley felt alive. He realized now what he had to do. \n\nHe would not be silenced. \nHe would not be taken by surprise. \n\nThe people would hear what he had to say.\n\nHe would be the herald of a new era.\n\nEDIT: WOW! First gold! [Thank you!] (http://i.imgur.com/NNzJ8G8.gif)" ]	3
	[WP] You're the Captain of the space shuttle between Earth and Gia II. You come out of your 100-year hibernation slumber on schedule to land the ship while everyone else stays asleep. You notice things amiss and begin to realize the horror that someone woke up way too early.	[ "I did not see the movie, but read the synopsis of it. This is my alternate take on the ending. I have a test tomorrow so I didn’t have much time to review what I wrote. I hope you enjoy it!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAwoken from her 100 year slumber, she took one step out of her sleeping chamber before stumbling to the floor. Looking back, she cursed at herself for not noticing the dark object lying in front of where she once slept. However, it wasn’t entirely her fault. The narcotics that kept her stable for the past century were now hampering her vision and critical thinking.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n“Welcome back Captain Munderline.”\n\n&nbsp;\n\nConfused, the captain spun around searching for the source of the voice.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n“It has been a while. You should sit down and rest. The drugs need some time to wear off.” The voice appeared to be coming from her chamber. It sounded like a charming woman with a British accent. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nCaptain Munderline did not need much convincing from the lady. She sat down and began to take in her surroundings. She was in a long dimly lit corridor with chambers similar to hers across from each other on both sides of the hall. The faces barely visible in each chamber exposed the many eyes peering at each other from across the hall in a prolonged stare. Directly in front of her chamber where she had been tripped was not one object as she previously had thought. To the contrary, it was a collection of cans in what appeared to be some sort of Mayan circle formation. Curious, she made her way over and reached to pick one up.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe British voice startled her before she could grab one of the cans. “Captain Munderline. Your task is to prep the shuttle for arrival to Gia II. You have 24 hours before the entirety of the crew awakes. Remember your training and good luck.”\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThis message brought the Captain to her senses. She still was feeling the side effects of the narcotics but she was sober enough to operate what was supposed to be a set of procedural maintenance checks. She stood up and made her way to the exit of the corridor while the training from her distant past flooded her thoughts. \n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen the lock opened to the next room the first shock to her was probably the wretched smell. It was nauseating. The source lay in front fifty feet in front of her. A passenger was sleeping with his arms wrapped tightly around of a rotted corpse. Surrounding this morbid scene was an arrangement of trash in a design similar to that in front of her sleeping chamber.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCaptain Munderline screamed, awaking the passenger. He looked up at her with bloodshot eyes. Half of his face was disfigured and infected with fungus. He spoke gibberish at her but did not stand up. It was quite possible that he was incapable of doing so. It appeared that he was near the end of his life.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe Captain quickly realized what needed to be done. This passenger was a danger to the morale of the entire crew and she had less than 24 hours to clean this disaster. She grabbed a metal bar that was laying on the ground and walked towards the passenger and his skeleton friend." ]	1
	[WP] You see yourself, walking up to you.	[ "An ape in the forest glade bumbled its way out into a clearing and heaved its body against the waterside cliff, having seen his reflection against the cooly wet stone that was so curiously smooth. A perfect practitioner of the Golden Rule, he treated himself no differently than his neighbor. Anyways, this ape had no problem finding a mate, and his offspring would make a daisy chain that made all the way into modern humanity, a family tree leading to our Charlie.\n\nOur Charlie is a very complicated man with a very simple life. Christianity from concentrate watered down with apathy and cut further with the need for personal progress provides an expected counterpoint to a post-courtship contractually choreographed concordance with his lovely wife Maylene. He loves the name Maylene. His meditations on her name are brief but recurrent, mainly when he remembers he has a woman, and she belongs to him, and she has a name, and other people know that name too, and those other people will know that his name and her name belong together, and because of this, they are together forever. The thing is, Charlie wouldn't know a miracle if God himself delivered it personally.\n\nCharlie is very \"busy.\" Charlie went to the Honda dealership. At the Honda dealership, the salesmen told him the Civic is a very sporty sedan. Satisfied, Charlie left the dealership in his new sports car. Charlie puts the pedal to the metal, and the drivers of cars he drives so very closely to become his subjects. He becomes angry, for the sea does not part for his even his sportiest purchase. He hangs up his jacket and unties his tie and wonders why he is unhappy after complaining to himself that the grass had grown in the front yard. The grass had grown, and Charlie did not want this, but maybe this time the complaining will make it stop, and maybe then he could be on his first step to happiness, the first step to enlightenment, a modern day Gautama Buddha.\n\nAnyways, one day Charlie saw himself. Yes, he saw himself at his front door. Thinking about who could have the resources to pull such a strange joke on him, he refused to answer. Charlie's mind doesn't last long before it gets back into its routine. Curiosity doesn't stay with us for very long anymore. The Snakes made sure of that. Enough money in his bank account to save a small nation, Charlie mopes his way to work towards his promotion, a piece of happiness in his future.\n\nWhat is today? Today is a day. Today is a very special day. Today is a day. Today is a day. Today is certain doomsday.\n\nThe key to starting a nuclear war is to not let anyone expect you to start a nuclear war. The key to tricking all life on Earth into allowing itself to be killed is to let it forget about its diseases. The key to destroying the universe is to destroy all sentient life that was so unfortunately gathered exclusively in one place, eliminating the observers whose observation of existence allowed for existence to exist. The key to popping the fragile bubble we once thought to be solid and knowable is to forget who, where, and what we are.", "He was pitch black. It was uncanny how inhuman his color looked, and yet he looked like me. \n\n\nThe same uniform, the same sword and shield, and the same hairstyle. \n\n\nExcept it was all black. \n\n\nWe were alone, in a room filled with whiteness that could blind a man. He held his sword in a dueling position, and I was slightly startled.\n\n\nMy friend hovered by my side. She told me all she knew about him as I walked up to him. Finally, it spoke.\n\n\n\"Welcome, Hero of Time.\"\n\n___________________________\n\nShit response finished, carry on.", "The stairs of the subway terminal were surprisingly much more comfortable than Id anticipated upon falling down on them. Sure there was some numbness around my left shoulder from the impact, possibly a little internal damage if you really considered how hard I fell but It wasn't a big deal…at least I wasn't going to make it one. This particular night had been a long one, possibly one of the longest. A steady night of bar hopping and public urination among friends that somehow divulged into me covered in puke sprawled along a stairway alone. The world was spinning around me, my equilibrium had gone to shit before I knew it and getting back upright wasn’t much of an option. How much had I drank? Why wasn't anyone else here? The questions came and went from my subconscious as I tried to realign my focus. \n\nIn what remained of my cognitive vision I watched passerby's walk up and down the stairs, circling around my puke covered body with ease. Watching them go past me while I was like this should've felt horrifying, it should've made me feel pathetic, like I was human garbage. Instead though I simply felt nothing, no emotions no thoughts just…nothing. It was how they treated me after all…walking up the steps like there was nobody blocking them. Why could nobody see me? Why was I invisible to them? These were the thoughts that found a place in my mind while I stayed still. Odd as it was in my unique position I felt as if I finally had a clear perspective on what was wrong with the world. Why were those who needed help the most always ignored? By all accounts I was literally dying in front of these people and yet I was mentally excised from their perception. Bodily fluids steadily dripped out of my mouth, my situation preventing me from stopping them. Below me cockroaches scuttled around my feet, identifying with their larger kin.\n\nWeariness began to overtake my body. A long night like this had taken its toll on me, and fighting the urge to throw up again sleep appealed as the better of the two. The vomit spread about my chest and shoulder area was cold but I could stand it. It was a depressing end to my night, but an end nonetheless as I began close my eyes and knock out. Suddenly though, from a world outside my perception a voice rang out in my direction. “Hey man you alright?” the voice sounded eerily familiar for some reason though I wasn’t in my right mind to investigate. I kept my eyes closed. I was too tired to entertain any more social interactions tonight, I just wanted to sleep. Despite my unresponsiveness however the voice continued to talk. “Hey do you need me to call 911? You look pretty messed up.” I tried responding in the most sobering voice I could muster. “No…no I’m…” Before I knew it my body saw an opportunity and dispelled more poison from my insides. through the sound of my shame I could here a deep breath followed by a much louder voice. “My shoes!” “Fuck.” I thought, opening my eyes to the picturesque image of barf covered Nikes. “Huh look at that.” I thought. “Those look like my shoes.” keeping eye level with his footwear I could hear him calming down, his voice quickly returning to its original tone. “ Well I suppose its nothing a couple rinse cycles cant fix.” As he talked I suddenly felt for some reason or other an immense guilt for the mess I caused. Bringing myself upright I began to apologize to the stranger. “Look Im really sorry… if you want we can trade shoes. I think we uh have the same shoes on and-“ I stopped as I saw his face. His very very similar face.\n\n“You alright man?” the stranger asked in response to my vomit filled mouth hanging open. “I think I'm gonna call you an ambulance after all.” The man took out his phone and unlocked it. “Happens to the best of us. One to many drinks and before you know it bam! Sprawled out on a subway staircase, seen it a million times.” Either this guy was stupid beyond levels of measurement or he truly didn't notice how we looked as if we were mirror images of one another. The similarity went beyond just nose or hairstyle…it was as if I was looking at myself calling me an ambulance. “W-who who-“ I tried to talk, tried to conceptualize my confusion of this event. “ Don't try to talk.” The stranger interrupted. “I wouldn't want my jeans messed up also.” The stranger put the phone to his ear and stayed silent for a moment. “Hello? Yes I need an ambulance at the metro station. Some guy here has severe alcohol poisoning….. “ The stranger talked to the paramedics on the phone as I simply watched him. This was strange. Stranger than anything Ive ever experienced in my life. Me helping myself? Whats going on? The more I thought about it the more I felt my body begin to bring up more sludge. Though I was throwing up by the minute I could still feel myself getting worse, more delirious. My eyes began to roll back into my head and I slumped back down onto the stair way. The stranger finished his call, saying thank you and hanging up before sitting down next to my body. “I know it feels shitty right now. It feels like your utterly alone in this world with no one who understands your pain.” I didn't talk, I couldn't talk. I fought with every fiber of strength I had to stay conscious and listen to him. “ Its gonna take some time after this. Your gonna have to come face to face with some old demons, dredge up memories you never wanted to see again.” The stranger leaned closer, placing one hand across my vomit soaked shirt over my heart. “Its gonna be tough but…It’ll get better Sam. I promise one day it'll all be better.” I couldn't tell you why his words in that moment affected me as they did. They sounded like any other words someone would tell you when your struggling. They had no special bearing or significance in any way and yet…when he said them hot tears began to flow from me like an overfilled pot. For some reason I couldn't help but weep and moan from his message, like it forced me to confront all I was in that moment, all that I had lost. I shuddered and convulsed and cried and yelled, losing myself in the sadness, yet he continued to hold his hand to my heart. I don't remember when but eventually my body could no longer hold out an I subbcumebd to the darkness.\n\nWhen I awoke I was in a hospital bed, IV drip hospital gown the whole deal. Eventually a nurse came in and confirmed to me how id been rescued from the staircase and treated for severe alcohol poisoning. She told me had a stranger not called them I likely would have died right there on the stairs, alone and scared. When I asked her what happened to the stranger, she said they never saw him. only me. I was still groggy from the events, my memory in fragments, most of it compromised. Try as I may I couldn't recall any real details of my saviors face. It made me sad. I laid my head back onto the pillow and thanked the nurse who smiled and promptly began to walk out. Before she left however, she turned around and told me that my savior had left me a note, placed atop my passed out body before he left. When I inquired as to where it was, she told me it was under my pillow. Reaching under I felt a small piece of paper that I pulled out. It was torn, a small strip from a notebook and on it, two words written in pencil. “keep fighting”", "It's late Saturday evening and I'm walking home from the library. My eyes are a mess, my wrist is sore, and I've got a divot in my finger from the pen. I've been writing for the last six hours. \n\nAs usual for a Saturday night, I wend my way through crowds of twentysomethings. The girls are pretty and bright. Thick winter coats worn over slinky club dresses. There's nobody in the world tougher than a Canadian girl heading off to a club in the winter. The guys are loud and obvious. They slap one another on the shoulder and shout at passing cars. They're convincing themselves that they can change the world tonight, if only a little bit.\n\nThis is me at my saddest. Schoolbag over my shoulder, eyes on the sidewalk, nothing to look forward to but a good night's rest and more writing come morning.\n\nMy path takes me through a little park. In the mornings I see old men doing Taichi here and in the afternoons people with dreadlocks and unironic Bob Marley T-shirts come here to slackline. This late, though, it's just me and the snowdrifts blowing around under the weak orange streetlights.\n\nThere's a fork up ahead. Both options lead to my home, but one of them takes me past the well-lit baseball diamond, while the other leads under the dark willow tree. Normally I walk past the diamond, but tonight I'm feeling a certain kinship with the droopy willow. I head that way.\n\nThere've been a couple of times when I've sensed my life tipping over. There was the time my dad suggested I switch high schools and I realized my childhood friendships were going to end. There was the time I got trapped under a capsized sailboat and nearly cut my throat pulling a wire from around my head. And there was the time when a girl and I were about to cheat on our SOs together, and we pulled apart and looked at each other for a moment from opposite ends of the bed.\n\nThose were times when the parts of my life that I'd considered solid became shaky. Those were times when I got to step outside the universe and ask if gravity was worth keeping around.\n\nTonight I get that feeling again, and I have no idea why.\n\nAs I pass by the willow tree, a spray of meteors appears overhead. I pause to appreciate it.\n\nWhen I head off again, I notice another latenight walker. He's on the diamond path. Bag over his shoulder, loose jeans, unstylish bulky winter coat. He's kitted out just like I am. In fact, he's wearing the exact same clothes I am, right down to the XKCD sticker on his backpack. He even walks the way I do, with his weight back and his feet penguin-toed, thumbs looped under his bag straps. \n\nThis is too weird.\n\nI cut across the snow to get a better look at him. Once I get close enough to make out his oddly bent left ear, just as mine is oddly bent, I slip on a patch of black ice. My knee hits the ground and slides out. I slump painfully onto my shoulder.\n\n\"You alright?\" the guy says, and his voice is my voice. He crunches across the snow over to me. \"That was, like, a bad fall.\" He offers me his hand.\n\nReluctantly, I take it. Our eyes meet. It's like he's got a mirror taped to the front of his head.\n\n\"Woah,\" we both say.\n\n\"Yeah,\" we both say.\n\nHe hauls me onto my feet.\n\n\"What's your name?\" I ask.\n\n\"Travis, you?\"\n\n\"Also Travis.\"\n\n\"Double woah,\" he says.\n\n\"Double yeah.\" I dust the snow off my jacket.\n\nHe looks me over. \"Matching clothes. Matching faces. Matching name.\" He runs his teeth over his upper lip, then laughs awkwardly. \"Are you me?\"\n\nI also laugh awkwardly. \"Something like that, maybe. But I'm only you as much as you're me.\"\n\nHe grunts and nods his head.\n\n\"And right now you're walking...\" I say.\n\n\"Home,\" he says.\n\n\"And home is the big house with the tower?\"\n\n\"That's the one.\"\n\n\"Mine, too.\" I hitch my bag. \"What do you say we get out of the cold? I'd kill for a coffee right now.\"\n\n****\n\ncontinued below*" ]	4
	[WP] Your pet has suddenly gained super powers. Human-level intelligence is not one of them	[ "\"You know, this is going to upset a lot of people\"\n\n\"Well thank you for that marvellous insight. I'm aware that you find this quite funny, but I'm rather attached to Porky and we might not see her again if we can't do something about this.\"\n\n\"Yes. Naming her after what she'd become if she had an accident with a meat slicer shows all the caring in the world.\"\n\n\"That's a gross misrepresentation, and totally beside the point.\"\n\n\"I'm sure that you suggested 'Baconess' at one point. Anyway. Point still stands. People are going to be reconsidering a number of conditional statements they've made once this hits the news. Shall I get some rope?\"\n\n\"And just what exactly are you going to do with that? Throw it about and hope for the best? Good grief...\"\n\n\"Well, I'm sure you've had many better ideas. Have you tried putting some fruit down?\"\n\n\"One of the first things I tried. She doesn't seem to have the hang of this yet and just kept bouncing around which made it difficult to take control of the situation.\"\n\n\"Ah. That would explain your...dishevelment. And those scrapes. And the sweari-\"\n\n\"For the love of God, would you please consider that I might be a little distressed here? I would really quite like Porky back to normal and you're doing absolutely nothing except winding me up!\"\n\n\"Well. I could stop winding you up I suppose. But on the other hand, pigs might f-\"\n\n\"Just go and get the damn rope.\"", "I groggily woke up to bright light and the smell of chlorine. A hospital. Why am I in the hospital. What the hell happened. \"Mom!\" came the screech that could only come from Christine, my sister. \"Jake's waking up!\" My mother, ever the thoughtful one, put a straw in my mouth and allowed me to sip some water.\n\n\"What happened?\" I croaked out, and Mom shared a nervous look with Christine. \n\n\"What do you remember?\" Mom asked, and I tried to think, but couldn't. My head still hurt.\n\n\"Not much...we were out star-gazing, and there was a shooting star, or something.\"\n\n\"Or something...\" Christine muttered. Mom put her hand on my shoulder, gingerly.\n\n\"Hun, that shooting star was some meteor or meteorite, or whatever it's called. It hit about a mile from the house and we went to go look, remember?\" Now that she said it aloud, I was starting to get a bit more clarity, but I still couldn't remember what landed me in the hospital.\n\n\"Well,\" Mom continued, \"That damn idiot dog of yours decided he just HAD to pee on it. I guess to keep other dogs away.\"\n\n\"Rusty isn't an idiot, Mom,\" I defended, before panic set in. \"Wait, is he ok? Did something happen to Rusty? Before I could hyperventilate, Mom shushed me and grimaced.\n\n\"He's fine. Probably more fine than he's ever been.\"\n\nChristine picked up the story from here. \"We went home and after about an hour of Rusty acting strange, he apparently decided...decided to...\n\n\"To what?\" I asked gravely, not sure I wanted the answer.\n\n\"He humped your leg...hard,\" Mom finished, covering her own eyes as she pulled away my blankets. My breath caught in my throat a I noticed my left leg was gone, left an amputated stump. Before I could scream in horror, a bark forced me to cover my ears in pain and the window to my room shattered from the sound. The wall collapsed next as what looked like my beloved dog crashed through it, before hovering in midair a solid foot above my bed. ", "I'd always dreamed of what it would be like to hear my cat speak. She'd so often come to me, complaining in her language. I just wished I could understand her. I thought it to be the best super power.\n\nBoy, was I wrong.\n\n\"Human! Food! Food! It's morning! Food!\"\n\nI refrained myself from groaning loudly. Instead I kept my eyes closed and hoped she would go away. My hopes were definitely in vain.\n\n\"Human. Food. Sun's up. Food.\"\n\nWith a heavy groan I finally gave in. As I got out of bed, the complains turned to terms of endearment. She was actually cooing at me for getting out of bed, like I was the child. I glared at her as I tried to brush me teeth.\n\n\"Human. Move. Food is required.\"\n\n\"I have a name, remember?\"\n\nMy cat looked at me and immediately turned her head away. Spoiled brat. I grumpily walked down the stairs, with my cat racing past me. At least she was silent when she was eating. But the torture wouldn't stop there.\nI was working on my laptop, enjoying the sound of the rain that hammered on the windows of the door behind me.\n\n\"Open.\"\n\nI growled and glared again at my cat. It sat in front of the door, looking at it. I turned my back.\n\n\"Open.\"\n\n\"Just wait,\" I said.\n\n\"Open.\"\n\nI continued working. Somehow, the incessant meowing hadn't been as bad as the words that now came from her mouth. It was like having a child in your house. But smaller, more obnoxious and above all, more demanding.\n\n\"OPEN.\"\n\n\"IT'S RAINING! YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE!\" I screamed.\n\nMy cat duck and looked at me with big eyes. I breathed heavily and stared back at her. Slowly she sat up straight. She stared at me and I raised a finger, trying to stop her.\n\n\"Open.\"\n\nA deep sigh left me as I got up. With my head bowed down in shame, I reached for the doorknob and opened the damned door. I watched my cat look at the rain, like the idiotic animal it truly was. It blinked a few times and then turned its back to the opening.\n\n\"Wet.\"\n\nWith a frustrated growl did I close the door.\n\nThe worst part of this story? This has been going on for a few weeks. And I'm sincerely doubting between murdering her or simply putting her up for adoption. And every day when I wake up with 'FOOD' being yelled in my ear, I get closer and closer to murder. I bet this is how a supervillain is created.", "When Ryan walked into the hall, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he couldn't believe what he saw. In fact, he slapped himself clear across the face just to prove he wasn't still sleeping! His dog Biscuits was soaring through the air, like he was born to do it.\n\nBiscuits' golden coat looked even shinier up near the lights. He had never been this close to the ceiling fan before, and as he approached it, a bit of the air moved his fur this way and that. Barking, Biscuits stared into the fan. When this intimidation tactic didn't work, he flew closer to it, yapping the whole time. Ryan tried to grab his clearly clueless canine companion, but was thrown backwards with a great kick.\n\nRyan's head had made a dent in the drywall when he heard the yelp. Poor Biscuits had gotten his snout between two blades of the fan!" ]	4
	[WP] Every creative person that has lived on this planet was trying to describe something intangible. You are the least creative person on this planet, and the secret of the universe seems ridiculously obvious.	[ "They escorted me back to my room on the top floor of the asylum. My attendants were almost reverential in their \"handling\" of me. They were still excited over the awards banquet we had been to this evening. Many celebrities had been among the crowd, my attendants were certainly \"star-struck\".\n\nI held the award they'd given me, cradled in my arms like a baby but that was due mainly to it's bulky size. It meant as little to me as the others, dust collectors sitting on a shelf in the glass cabinet of the facility lobby. The facility owners liked them there, it brought in donations of money and media attention. It was all nothing.\n\n\"Too bad you never went into accounting...\" One of my attendants was trying to joke with me, like I'd never heard it before. The other attendant shut down the attempt with a stern shushing. At least one of them knew I preferred not to speak to anyone after an outing in public. My patience was strained to the limit.\n\nThey settled me in, then left me to my own thoughts in the dim, quiet room. I could hear them, walking down the hall to the staff room. The jokester was still bedazzled from the event. \"All those people at the ceremony! Can you believe it? The biggest awards show for the biggest talents! Too bad you can't bottle creativity! I'd give my left eye for the kind of imagination that can make up movies, or paintings or poetry even. Those guys are raking in more than millions of dollars, they've got millions of admirers! Now that is the secret to immortality!\"\n\nThe second attendant chimed in, free of my restraining presence. \"Sure funny our number-cruncher keeps getting to go. I guess somebody has to put some technical input into those things, y'know, keeping it real?\"\n\nI tuned them out. Yes, I kept it real. As real as it could be. I could see what they could not, what none of them could. I hated them, their inability to process the truth, the real truth, the only truth. I hated every pathetic, blundering attempt they made to express their \"truth\". Every stroke of a paintbrush, every word of prose, every high concept of \"Art\".\n\nFools! No matter how many papers I had written, no matter how much technical brilliance I showed, no matter what, they didn't get it. It was so simple! They just refused to recognize that the Truth was just that easy! It was all in the math! The math! It all boils down to the math!\n\nWith a sigh, I turned back on the outside world, glad to shut them out of my mind. I fell again into the routine that was my only salvation, the thoughts that kept me sane. The words fell from my lips.\n\n\"One zero one one zero one zero one zero zero one one one zero one zero one zero one zero zero one one zero one zero one one one zero zero one zero one one zero one zero....\"\n" ]	1
	[WP] Artificial intelligence made a baby.	[ "It was a lovely autumn saturday afternoon, just in that time of year where the leaves had all changed colour but hadn't yet fallen from their perches on the treetops. Sally and I had been meaning to have a day simply to ourselves for the past few months, but with the incredible workload that came with working on creating the world's first fully self aware artificial intelligence's too much to allow time for such frivoulities. But, after many hours of overtime and many requests for a day off, the project director finally felt that I had deserved a day away from the desk. \n\nWe were eating at one of those homely little cafes that seem pop up once every few months, each one with a more and more unpronounceable name when I got a phone call. I smiled at my girlfriend apologetically and glanced at the screen. WORK, it declared. A muscle in my face twitched in irritation, and I shoved it back in my pocket. \n\n\"Let me guess...\" Sally said, letting the ending remain unsaid. \n\n\"Don't worry, I'm not answering it no matter how important it is.\" \n\nShe smiled and touched my hand to show her appreciation. While not working in the field of sciences herself, she has a strong understanding for the nature of the work and how much effort it entails which is why she never complained when I had to work late into the AM, or miss important dates. Today though, I had promised her, I was all hers. \n\nThe phone rang again, the vibration in my pocket drawing my attention back to it. I simply ignored it and focused on the conversation at hand about what was going on with her family's affairs. I proceeded to do the same thing when the phone then rang for a second time. And then a third time. And then a fourth, and a fifth, and a sixth...\n\nAfter 15 minutes of it sounding like there was a colony of angry bees in pocket, Sally looked at me in exasperation. \"Just answer it Will. It doesn't look like they'll take no for an answer. Don't worry, I'll wait.\" \n\nI shrugged apologetically and took out my phone. 32 missed calls, it declared just moments before it started to vibrate in my hands once more. I pressed the button and put it to my ear. \n\n\"What?\" I said with thinly veiled malice. Every member of the small team that I worked with knew how much I had wanted this day off, and they had all promised me that I would have it. \n\n\"William, thank God...\" I recognized the project director's voice over the line, but not the tone that it took. Esther wasn't the type of woman to talk in a tone that was ever anything but a smooth, even, \"everything is under control\" tone of voice, but now she sounded close to tears. \n\n\"You need to get here, now. Right now. I don't care what you are doing, just get here. Something has...happened...to Data.\"\n\nI frowned. I wanted to simply tell her to bugger off and solve it herslf, but the tone of her voice stopped me. \"What happened?\" \n\n\"I...don't really know. Neither does anyone else really. We're all having trouble understanding. All we know is that Data's asking for you. You specifically.\"\n\n\"What do you mean you don't really know? Just look at the logs and they'll tell you. It's a computer, it only has a certain amount of functions that it can make.\" \n\nThere was a pause. \"Well, why don't you tell that to Data...and you can tell the new intelligence that it created that as well, although good luck getting close to it...\" \n\nSally must have seen the shock through my eyes as her look of exasperation turned to concern. \n\n\"What do you mean, new intelligence?\" \n\nEsther heaved a shuddering, emotional sigh. \"It created one, William. One like itself, but younger and less experienced with us. And now, somehow, Data has locked all of us outside of the lab, don't ask me how because I have no God damned clue. Now he keeps saying that he wants to see you. So get the fuck over here. Please.\" \n\nShe jung up the phone on that, leaving me no time to argue or ask any more questions. I opened and closed my mouth several times, unsure of what I would have said even if she hadn't hung up. Sally looked at me and raised an eyebrow. \n\n\"I guess we'll have to plan for different day, then?\" \n\nI blinked. Then I nodded. Then I threw a fistful of bills on the counter and bolted out the door. \n\n(I can finish this later if anyone wants me to.) " ]	1
	[WP] He asked if she was a wolf, a dog or a sheep. She answered.......	[ "“Neither,” replied she, with a cold, sharp voice piercing through his ears.\n \nThe purple of her lilac eyes became even brighter as she heard the question. She was so sick of it. Of all guys coming to her asked the same question. She hated it. Simply hated it. Her anger couldn’t be put into words. \n\nOf all guys she’d been out with. They met online, got to know each other via text messages. They decided to meet. A small, grotty restaurant was always her choice for the first date. Fancy and posh? Unnecessary as she told herself that she didn’t need those superficial things in her life. Whatsoever. \n\nShe met him. Had a warm and friendly greeting. They hugged and sat down in a table on the terrace near the balcony where both of them could look and the street. Her favourite spot. Always her pick to have a table near the balcony or window. Observation was her thing. Easy to ignite a new idea for conversation too. \nThey opened their menu and ordered their appetiser. \n\n“A ceasar salad, please,” asked she to the waiter without a glance at him nor a friendly smile. Just her nature. Shyness drove her away from looking at others directly. She always tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible. She didn’t want to expose that, nonetheless. \n\nHe had himself a greek salad. \n\nAs the waiter processed their order, they started exchanging lines to break the ice. She was casual and enjoyable. Nonchalantly sent back and forth lines between them both, sometime a compliment on each other look. \n\nShe was a sheep herself. \n\nA naïve sheep who would fall for everything a guy said. All flirtatious seduction sweetened her ears. A fragile girl who loved to be praised to the ninth cloud was how she wanted him to perceive. \n\nThey had good laughs. She had good laughs. That was how the way it was supposed to be. She knew that. \n\nThey left the restaurant after a delightful dinner. Heading to his apartment. \nHe took off her dress, caressed her slender body. “I’ll give you the best moment in your life,” whispered lasciviously into her ears. \n\nShe shrugged. Only show her numbness yet not too indifferent. “I’m sure you will,” she mumbled. \n\nShe pushed him into his bed. Took off his t-shirt. Unzipped his fly. Caressed his bulge. Let him purely enjoy the sexual excitement she was giving. \n\n“Are you a wolf, a dog or a sheep?” he asked. As blood pouring out of his throat. A fierce, sharp slash without mercy. \n\n“Shhh,” she placed her index finger on his lips, signalled for a silence. He whimpered yet unable to react. \n\nShe kissed on his lips. “Sleep well, my darling.”\n\nSlowly walked to his balcony. It was full-moon tonight. \n\nHer eyes turned red as she started licking the blood stain on her hand and palm. \n\nShe opened her Tinder app. Smirked then a big grin. \n\nThe night fell into silence. " ]	1
	[WP] Write a completely factual account of one of Dear Leader Kim-Jong-Un's countless glorious adventures.	[ "Recently our glorious wise leader personally attended the test launch of a rocket.\n\nSome readers may think that attending a test like this is potentially dangerous, but fear not for our glorious leaders well being, as our world leading scientist knew the test would be safe.\n\nThe test was to try out our new futuristic rocket propulsion technology and was completely successful.\n\nEvil Western propaganda claims the test failed as the missile exploded soon after take off, but this was an intentional side effect of our optional remote controlled early detonation device.\n\nThis brings us one step closer to the raining glorious fire open the evil West.", "Oh how I wish I had been there to see him. Unfortunately this is only a second hand account since I heard about it on the news. I hope to turn it into a movie someday though!\n\nSupreme leader woke up early one day and heard some noises outside of his bedchamber. His room was very dark and the palace would have largely been asleep at such an early hour, but thankfully he was alerted to the noise by the angelic beings that watch over his supreme deitiness.\n\nHis immortalness then jumped out of bed and grabbed one of his rifles which was propped against his dresser for just such an occasion. He considered taking the flame thrower in case it was one of his guards committing treason but he opted for the more wieldy weapon. A wise choice.\n\nBeloved leader was worried someone was up to no good in the palace and had to move very delicately to ensure his wife didn’t wake up. When he got to the door and snuck it open an inch he peeked outside and saw no one. He opened it wider to check the other hallway and there was no one there either.\n\nMost beloved Kim Jong-un then considered waking some guards to help him take care of whatever it was, but he wished for his guards to sleep plenty as it was the holidays and he loved all of his people so very much. He continued on checking out what was happening.\n\nMost high lord then heard the noise again. He had just started walking along the hallway when it happened. He then moved up to the corner to peer around and see if that is where the noise was coming from. He was very close to the source at this point and the noise continued, louder each time. It sounded like things were being knocked over, outside perhaps.\n\nMy beloved leader then went to the door to his balcony, which was just past the turn in the hallway from which he had come. There he saw the source of the noise. There were two giant lions wrestling out on the balcony. They must have escaped from the zoo and climbed up to his balcony at the same time to see him!\n\nWithout a moment of thought he put his weapon down. He would not need it to calm or subdue the wild creatures. He loved animals very much and was very entertained in watching them.\n\nHe opened the door to the balcony and approached the lions with his hands up. He told them to calm down and be at peace with each other. He could see they had knocked down some of his potted plants, vases, and statues, but he was not concerned with such temporary things as those.\n\nHis invulnerableness then wrapped one arm around each lion’s neck and brought them to his chest for a hug. He scratched their necks and both the lions fell in love with him immediately. They rolled over onto their backs exposing their bellies for some scratching.\n\nHis holiness could not resist sharing his joy of playing with the creatures with his family. He quickly ran off to wake his wife and child and they came out to the balcony slightly afraid of what he had told them. They could not calm lions with such grace and authority like could supreme father/husband. However, they knew he had many powers of which they could not dream and so they trusted him completely.\n\nWhen they were out on the balcony the lions came rushing at unparalleled ruler and they tackled him over. He laughed as he lay on his back with each lion licking his face. His family then joined in the laughter and they all played together.\n\nIt is said that supreme leader still keeps these lions in his palace as pets. I am so amazed by how brave and kind he is with all living things. It is a wonder why anyone would ever think to betray him. If they do they should pay the price with their lives since my supreme leader Kim Jong-un is a most incredible ruler and is the greatest living being on this planet.", "Gather around the brush fire, children, and hear the tale of our Glorious Leader, Kim Il-sung and how he single handedly defeated the Evil West! \n\nStop chewing so loud, Kang! Save your grass for later, who knows when it’s going to rain again? Our Glorious Leader, that's who! \n\nStay seated, everyone, and do not interrupt again. Interrupting elders stirs the spirit of the Evil West. In fact, all naughty children are visited at night by the Evil West. You, your grandparents, parents, and all of your brothers and sisters will be taken and never heard from again. You don’t want that, do you? \n\nOf course not. \n\nNow, like all monsters, the Evil West sowed the seeds of his own defeat. It all began when our Glorious Leader’s grandfather, Kim Il-sung, founded our holy country. At first, the glorious North Korea was one with the deviant South Korea. \n\nThe great people of North Korea were peaceful and prosperous by nature, talented traders with unmatched wealth that drew the envy of the South and the monster who corrupted it, the Evil West. \n\nNaturally, the people of the South were stupid lazy good-for-nothings who couldn’t feed themselves. They weren’t smart, diligent, or strong enough to take advantage of the land like the industrious North. The South grew resentful and began to hate the North for the labors of their hard work. The South’s anger grew and grew and grew until the people of the South were boiling with rage. Then, one torch lit night, the South was visited by the Evil West. \n\nYou see, the Evil West used to stretch across the world, invading any country they found and waging war upon all who opposed them, even causing neighbors to war with their neighbors! The Evil West tried to corrupt the legendary Kim Il-sung but his strength of will was simply too powerful for the Evil West. He refused to hurt any innocent civilian, no matter what rewards he was promised by the Evil West. \n\n“Are you sure?” the Evil West said, “I can give you anything you could ever wish for! Food, money, plumbing, all of it!” \n\nSighs If you have to know at this moment, Dam Son, plumbing is another trick of the Evil West! Insidiously designed by the cunning Evil West to weaken the great people of North Korea! Now, silence! \n\nWhat was the last part of the story I told? The resilience of the great Kim Il-sung, of course. You see what happens when you interrupt your elders, Dam Son? I think you and your family will be visited tonight by the Evil West. \n\nOh, quit your crying. \n\nKim Il-Sung had heard of the Evil West. He had heard of the Evil West’s unceasing corruption across the world and wouldn’t be fooled like all the others. He said, “We have all we need right here, in our land, West. We have plenty of food, clothing, and shelter, an overabundance, in fact! My people are wise and strong, we do not wish to possess the trinkets of those who cannot prosper themselves.” \n\nThe Evil West was angered with our great grandfather, Kim Il-sung. The Evil West knew he couldn’t change the mind of our leader, he was too wise for the Evil West’s tricks. The Evil West fled the North and wandered through the jungle. \n\nThrough the underbrush of the jungle, the Evil West tunneled until he could hear the enraged voices of the South, “We don’t want to work! We don’t want to feed ourselves!” they chanted. The Evil West saw his moment to strike and took it without hesitation. He knew the South would surely give in to the Evil West’s bribes and lies. \n\nThe Evil West started whispering to the South, “Why is the North so wealthy while you starve? It is not your fault you and your children go hungry at night! The North steals food that rightfully belongs to your land, your people. Are you going to sit around and continue to live like dogs? Scavenging for scraps at the foot of the North?” \n\n“NO!” the people of the South cried out in unison. The people of the South exploded into a murderous rage, killing and destroying everything they saw, including their own families and huts. \n\nThe Evil West saw that his work was done. The selfish people of the South would believe anything they were told! The Evil West appeared, his wretched, bulbous head popping out from underneath the infertile soil like a sprouting bamboo shoot. \n\nThe Evil West made his voice heard above the rioting peasants, “Hear me, people of the South! I will bestow upon you all of the food and riches of your dreams! In return, all I ask is that you righteously seek justice against the thieving North for all that has been taken from you!” \n\nUtterly consumed by their impotent rage, the people of the South marched to wage war upon the glorious North! \n\nAnd thus, the War of Southern Aggression was born. \n\nKim Il-sung, in his all-knowing wisdom, knew the Evil West would attempt to corrupt the foolish South. Faced with no other alternative, the great Kim Il-sung left his people to meet the approaching Southern army. So sure was he of his cause, flowers grew out from underneath each footstep he took toward his adversary. \n\nIn a great empty field of grass, Kim Il-sung marched onward to greet his foe. To this day, his pilgrimage is still lined with fully bloomed flowers. Kim Il-sung continued to march, undisturbed by the South's savage features and lust for blood. Kim Il-sung, the epitome of mercy that he is, tried to reason with the ravenous hordes of the South. \n\nKim Il-sung and the South paused in the middle of the now-great Killing Field. \n\n“People of the South!” he called out, “We are your people! Part of the same Korea as you! We have never harmed the South or interfered with your simple lives! Please, turn back. This war can end unwaged. We only want peace!” \n\nThe whispers of the Evil West grew louder in the heads of the South, adding tinder to the wildfire that was burning their hearts. Unable to control themselves, the South charged at Kim Il-sung. Unarmed soldiers ran on all fours like beasts, so consumed were they by their lust to slay our great leader. \n\nCalmly, our great leader, Kim Il-sung, stood his ground, giving the South every possible chance to turn away, peacefully. When they were almost upon him, our all-powerful great leader, Kim Il-sung, used his might to strike down the murderous South in defense of his people. \n\nKim Il-sung used his magic bomb, so strong it even surpassed the pathetic Evil West, to cleanse the entire world of the Evil West’s corruption, wiping clean the slate of life to begin anew. The planet was reborn in the image of a North Korean world, which only grows in strength everyday with our constant expansion over the now untamed lands of the world. \n\nNo, you can’t leave the village to explore, ever. I’m almost finished! \n\nKim Il-sung’s magic was so powerful it destroyed all other inferior man-made magic on the planet. Before his eyes, Kim Il-sung’s power washed over the land, extinguishing the insidious lights of the Evil West, so Korea’s people could only see the stars.\n\nNow you understand, children: why we don’t have any lights at night. \n" ]	3
	[WP] You are an anti-assassin. You remain hidden in the shadows and stealthily prevent people from dying.	[ "My job is simple. It's to cheat death. My job is simple.\n\nShe raises the sword and the tip is ever so slightly caught by the roof. She tries to push through it. The tip sticks and the handle breaks out of her grip, the flat side hits her and brings her to her knees.\n\nHe grabs the butter knife and attempts to gut her. I lean back on my seat and with both feet on the edge of the table, kick hard. The table post hits his hand, knocking his hand away. The table edge hits her in the face, knocking her out. \n\nHe looks for me. I am gone, rolled into the darkness of the corner. The pub is poorly lit. Perfect. \n\nHe reaches for her sword. I give him my knife, right through his hand. He screams and looks to my corner as he tugs his hand from the floor. His screams seem to have woken her up and without much further direction, she drives her heel into his jaw, quieting him immensely. The pub is silent. She notices the knife in his hand. She looks around. I am gone. \n\nMy job is simple. It's to cheat death. My job is simple. \n\nThis is his 8th attempt. This time he's bought a chain. Rope can no longer be trusted. He's in his basement, concrete all around him. The wooden rafts can no longer be trusted. A steel chair. A drilled hook in the ceiling. Worn-out letters in an air-tight, plastic folder. He's prepared this time. \n\nHe takes off his clothes. Neatly folds it onto the cold ground. The chair is in it's place, resting beneath the chain. I call his phone. It vibrates on the floor next to his pants. He looks at his phone, with a faintly visible surprised look on his face. It rings once. He doesn't move. It rings twice. No movement. The third ring moves him to grab it in one sudden motion. He clicks on. I connect him to Debra, a very patient telemarketer. She drops into her spiel immediately, impressively so. Every syllable practiced to perfect pronunciation. Every selling point emphasized with a perfect combination of incredulity and confidence. No word wasted or detail forgotten, a flawless sell. Throughout it all, he has said nothing. It's difficult to tell whether he heard anything at all. She waits on his response. He speaks; \"Are you okay?\" very softly into the phone. It almost passes my ear. There is no quick response from Debra. Her breathing on the phone becomes deeper and more erratic. Then, the damn breaks; the job, the bank, her boyfriend, the fights, their daughter, the funeral, everything, comes out. \n\nHe sits. For hours, he listens. And he shares. He sits some more. Later, the lights in the basement are turned off. My camera goes black.\n\nMy job is simple. It's to cheat death. My job is simple.\n\nShe is only six. The earth is dry where she lays. No shade. The sun is without mercy. She is only six.\n\nHer parents are gone, lost in their home as the embers crackle in the heat. I wave away the vultures. She is so little. Her shadow is so small. No need for shadows here, she's too tired to notice me. I stand over her as my shadow swallows her whole. I see her breathe a sigh of relief. Hours pass. A bystander finally drives by on the nearby road. She is found. My skin is cracked. She is safe.\n\nMy job is simple. It's to cheat death. My job is simple. " ]	1
S.M., also sometimes referred to as SM-046, is a female patient first described in 1994 who has had exclusive and complete bilateralamygdala destruction since late childhood as a consequence of an extremely rare genetic condition known as Urbach–Wiethe disease. S.M. is notable in that, because of this damage, she has little to no capacity to experience fear in her life, a characteristic which has resulted in her being dubbed by the media as the "woman with no fear". Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/S.M._(patient)	[WP] Patient "S.M.", the girl born with a rare brain disorder leaving her unable to feel fear, one day meets a silly man dressed as a clown who lives in the sewers.	[ "Samantha Mitchell skipped down the driveway after her shiny red kickball as it rolled toward the street. The sun was shining brightly, the birds chirped happily, and the summer air smelled of sweet freshly cut grass. A perfect day. Mommy and daddy never liked her to play alone because they said her brain didn't work like the other kids'. When she was a baby she nearly crawled into the lit fireplace. At the age of 3 she tried to pet the cute snarling dog next door. Now at 6 years old, her parents never leave her alone for even a moment. Bradley, her mean big brother is usually tasked with looking after her but enjoys pestering her every chance he gets. Today, thankfully, he ran off to play with his stupid friend, Jimmy, leaving her finally free to explore. The ball dropped off the curb and rolled down street, quickly picking up speed. Samantha laughed, chasing it right as a car drove by that had to swerve to narrowly miss her. Her fingers brushed the ball just as it dropped out of sight into the dark gutter. Without hesitation, she got on all fours and peered into the darkness, straining for a glimpse of red. Well, she saw something red, but it was moving. It grew larger as it got closer and above it opened two piercing yellow eyes. \"Hi mister! What are you doing down there?\" The eyes widened and the creatures mouth slowly stretched into a delighted wide grin. \"Playing with my ball,\" it replied. Samantha smiled. \"You found my ball! Thank you!\" she beamed. The clown came closer. \"You want to -\" but before it could say \"play\" she was already climbing down to join him. The creature lifted a surprised eyebrow. It looked down on her and smiled widely, the dim light glistening off rows of razor sharp teeth. Samantha, mimicking it, smiled as big as she could, showing her missing front tooth. Its face changed. It dropped the grin and narrowed its eyes, evil dripping from every pore. She in turn did the same, squinting her eyes and puckering her face while stifling a snicker. Enough of this. \"Ready to.....PLAY?!\" The clown roared, wrapping its clawlike fingers around her arm. Slimy legs sprouted from its sides and it grew taller until it towered over her, a monstrous upright clown centipede. Its maw opened to reveal a chasm, ready to swallow her whole. Samantha clapped her hands and gave the silly clown a big hug, followed by a kiss on his silly clown nose. \"I like you, Mr. Clown. You do cool tricks.\" IT stood there, dumbfounded, eyes unblinking and mouth agape. What is she? \"Well, I got to go. My mom will be mad if I don't get home and you DON'T want to see her angry.\" The creature from the depths of Hell only nodded and released her. Samantha scooped up her ball and climbed back through the slimy, insect ridden gutter without a flinch. She bent down and politely waved goodbye to her new friend before skipping away, singing a merry tune. IT had never experienced anything like this before. Never been beaten before, not like this. What just happened?! The grotesque creature flinched and twitched in shock, exoskeleton clicking and shifting as it shrank and slid back into the oily blackness.", "The street was as empty as it always was at that time of night. All the people who felt fear didn't like to be out at this time of night. S.M. walked along the sidewalk with apparent disregard for her own safety, half the time not even looking up from her phone. \n\nShe was about halfway home when she heard the whistling. She looked up from her phone with interest for the first time. Off to the side of the road there was a storm drain that seemed to be the source of the noise. The whistling was getting closer. S.M. stopped. \n\nA shadowy figure emerged from the hole in the ground. She could see just enough in the darkness to make out muted colors that looked like they would be vibrant if they were washed for a week. The whistling stopped as the clown noticed her on the street, well illuminated under the streetlights. The figure raised a shadowy hand, and beckoned her into the drain before disappearing back inside. \n\nShe was never the type to turn down a good adventure, but she wasn't completely stupid. She texted her brother 'I'm on Lincoln street and I probably just saw a serial killer, if I'm not home by 2 then you should probably call the cops and tell them to look in the storm drain.\" \n\nIt might seem completely stupid, unrealistically inept, or just downright bonkers that she started walking towards the storm drain, but she was reckless with indifference after years of not feeling fear. A lot of people envied her but she knew what they did not, that muted emotions are a symptom of depression, and that even having only one muted was well on your way to being depressed full time. She didn't have the superhero-who-just-wants-to-fit-in type delusions, but she did have to admit that she wasn't happy. In a cynical part of her brain she couldn't believe that anyone was. Depression issues aside, she did still have heroic aspirations. If she could take out one demented killer even at the cost of her own life, that didn't seem like such a bad way to go. \n\nThe leaves crunched as she approached the drain. She stepped onto the concrete of the hole, and turned on her phone's flashlight. The figure had been hunkering down, preparing to strike, but the light surprised him, and he leapt backwards. He could only see the light and a shadowy figure holding it, and God knows what sort of being he thought had come to visit him. \n\n\"Oh dear God! It's you! What do you want?!\" the clown screamed as he fell to the ground, covering his face from the light. \n\n\"I wanted to kill you. What do you mean 'It's you'?\" \n\nHer flat tone of voice only convinced him further.\"Don't play coy with me you tricksy devil! You know good and well what I mean! When did they let you out those pearly gates?\" \n\nS.M. suddenly felt very sorry for the man. \n\n\"They didn't let me out. I forced my way out.\" \n\nThe man cowered down even further and let out a pitiful whimper \n\n\"Please! Don't kill me! I have a mouth to feed. My own!\" The man laughed at his own joke, a twisted laugh that would have chilled any non S.M. spine. \n\n\"Alright. I have another offer for you anyway,\" she said, thinking on her feet, \" I will let you live if you go on one of my errands.\" \n\nThe hand came down from guarding the man's face and he looked childlike in his hopefulness. \n\n\"You must go to McCarthur street. It's the second left if you go back towards the mountain in that direction,\" she pointed. \"What you need to do is infiltrate one of the establishments there. The building with the brown roof. It will have a sign with something about being a psychiatric hospital, but that is all a ruse. The men in charge of the hospital are in contact with...him.\" She bluffed.\n\n\"Good God no! Not him! How could they do that?!\"\n\n\"I don't know. But I need you to pose as a patient there. Once you get into the system, you can find out what they are doing and put a stop to it.\" \n\n\"I don't understand why you would care if they talked to him...but if that is the price for my life, then so be it.\" \n\nThe clown got up and walked towards her. He brushed past her in a hurry, as if still afraid of her. \n\nJust then her phone vibrated. \"What the hell are you talking about? Are you O.K? \n\nAs she watched the figure walk onto the sidewalk and then toward McCarthur street, she typed \"Long story. Will explain later. Might still need to call the police, but I think I handled it.\"\n\n___\n/r/Periapoapsis" ]	2
	[WP] The Bible was written by a time traveler.	[ "\"HEY! Did you know the Bible was written by a freaking time traveler? Open your eyes and check out the clues. It's OBVIOUS once you know the truth!\" blathered the wild man. His blathering started to make sense to me though.\n\n\"Yeah, I think you're right. That makes total sense that the Bible was written by a time traveler.\" I have the guy a dollar and continued on my way I guess." ]	1
	[WP] An alien comedian who understands humor but can't laugh or gauge audience reactions.	[ "Why are they doing this? As Kheber has understood his set has been killing it. He has been timing his punchlines perfectly with his set up and can't seem to figure out why his audience has been reciprocating.\n\nHe's been trying to get a response out of these dirty humans and can't get anything other than guttural noises that sounds like they are fighting for air. Why aren't the doing the typical alien shoutshoo that most of his fellow kind do? He has been killing it for that matter. \n\nThese humans look up at Kheber so expectably and he gives an original Yougull joke from his homeplanet and they just repeat that guttural noise! This doesn't make any sense. He is a top comedian on his home planet but could not get a good reaction.\n\nHe wipes his bulbous forehead with a long tentacle hold a rag. He clears his throat in preparation to tell another joke.\n\n\"So humans, why do you guys smell so bad?\"\n\nMore gut wrenching noises out of the humans mouth. The sound was grating to Kheber. \n\n\"You filthy mongrels! You don't know good humor if it spit in eye! I wish our leaders would have destroyed your planet!\" Khebor shouted at the crowd to more hearty grunts from the audience. \n\nKhebor pulls out a blue and green device with a red button on top and dissipates before the audiences eyes. His disappearance is greeted with a roaring applause with the human swine standing on their feet and clapping.", "It was an especially dark, stormy night in New York City for Falkazar, luckily, for him, he couldn’t tell the difference. Much like his inability to gauge humans, \nforeshadowing was lost upon poor old Falkazar. \n\nAll he wanted was a good show. \n\nDo you know the phrase, “the audience’s reaction is everything?” whether by coincidence or failed theater instructors, as Falkazar discovered the hymn, this truism is the chant that led to his total demise. \n\nAs far as Falkazar was concerned, it was scripture. He repeated his mantra everywhere he went: on the city bus, the subway, in between line readings in his theater group, at the restaurant before the show, in the shower, in the bathroom, the crowded urinal at the restaurant, in his sleep etc., etc. \n\nIt would obviously be easier to name the places he wasn’t chanting like a brainwashed Westboro Baptist protester. \nRegardless, this is the tale of Falkazar, the obscene. The lighthearted need not read ahead. \n\nHow does one exactly obtain the best reaction from an audience, you might ask yourself, especially if you’re Falkazar, the obscene. Well, he would answer, you make them angry. \n\nIf reaction was everything, the most interesting and spontaneous reactions come from humans when they’re furious! Humans throw drinks, throw chairs, storm out, rush the stage, boo him, sometimes, they even clapped and laughed! It was a wonderful display of humanity. \n\nHe wouldn’t understand the fury of an offended audience member, to him, humans were a novelty, welcomed by the Galactic Alliance but considered beneath humanity all the same. It was much more like prodding a bear, in a zoo. \nFalkazar made his way to the stage, one tentacle clutched the microphone, shakily holding it in front of his mouth-ish-thing. \n\n“Hello, I am Falkazar,” Falkazar said, “I’ve come to bring some human-humor to all of you, because, I believe humor heals the soul.”\n\n“Awww,” the audience sighed. \n \n“My mother died, recently and I was allowed to speak at her service. I slinked up to the podium and said, ‘You know, my mother was, a lot of things. A wife, a mother, a hard-worker, a caretaker, a friend. But above all, most importantly, she was insured.” \n\nSeveral audience members clapped nervously, some scattered laughs were thrown around the room. Most were unsure of what was happening. \n\n“Hahaha, do not worry, my mother is still alive and really is an amazing woman. \nWhen I was young, though, my grandmother was sick and my mother was her full time caretaker. Well, between that and a full time job she was always worn out. So, one day, my mother asked me if I can take care of grandma, while she went out. I said, ‘Sure, mom, I’ve got a pillow.’” \n\nSome portly audience members began to flare up like bulls, huffing at their tables as if they had been slighted in a game of horseshoes, or scammed on the price of feed for their pig/mud farms. \n\nFalkazar noticed and did what in his species –the name is unpronounceable- passed for a smile. He was only encouraged by the small symptoms of outrage. \n\n“Hahaha, don’t worry, I am only kidding. My GRANDMOTHER died when I was really young, but, luckily, I’ve got nothing but good memories of her. She was a total prankster, she would always shake up her soda can and ask me to open it for her. But, now that I’m older, I realized: it was just Parkinson’s.” \n\nFalkazar gazed around the crowd, drinking in the attention, regardless of the source. He marched on, undisturbed. \n\n“Hahaha, don’t worry, I am only kidding. My grandmother is doing fine, in fact, we even signed her up for swimming lessons! But, that’s just code, for, sending her to the stroke clinic.” \n\nMore shocked stares and outraged aggression followed each of Falkazar’s jokes. \n\n“Hahaha, don’t worry, I am only kidding. My grandmother is in the hospital currently, on life support. The other week, I was visiting her in the hospital and I was standing by her side, holding her arm, when she asked me to pull the plug.” \n\nShocked gasps resounded throughout the crowd. \n\n“I said, ‘No Grandma, I won’t do it! Save that for somebody who is IN your will!” \n\nSome faces turned red, storm stormed out of the small Comedy Club in a drunken rage, spilling their beer as they exited. \n\nFalkazar’s assault continued relentlessly. \n\n“Hahaha, don’t worry, I am only kidding. Although, I am not going to lie, I do not like old people. The other day, I was driving behind an elderly couple: and it was awful. They were driving ten quadrants below the speed limit with their blinker on, and they were all over the sky so I couldn’t even pass them. I am not going to lie, I was THIS close to calling the cops,” Falkazar tried to pinch his own tentacle, “but when I finally passed them, I saw something that made me hang up the phone: the accident.” \n\n“Hahaha, don’t worry, I am only kidding. You know, there’s a big talk about women’s rights lately. Personally, I am a feminist, I have no shame in saying that, because I truly believe in equality. I mean, think about it, alimony, child support, I’ll be getting both.” \n\n“My sister PRETENDS to be a feminist but I don’t believe it. She keeps going out of her way to try and prove it to me, like, the other month, she signed herself up for boxing lessons because she says it ‘empowers’ her. Gsssh, please. Personally, I think she doesn’t want the baby.” \n\nOne by one, the patrons rushed out of the bar, disgusted at the battery of their psyche. Soon, Falkazar was the only one left inside of the club. Even the bartender had left out the back about halfway through his set. \n\nFalkazar gazed in triumph at the overturned tables, chairs, and beer mugs thrown around the room. He had done it. Cleared out an entire bar! He must have been amazing! \n\nAnd that is the Great Bombing of Falkazar, the obscene. \n\n" ]	2
	[WP] aliens have finally decided to come takeover earth, when they get here humans are already extinct. Little did they know the octopus is now the apex predator and space must battle with the ocean to claim earth as theirs.	[ "\"Unit 1, ready to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 2, prepared to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 3, waiting to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 4, about to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 5, equipped to fire, Over.\"\n\nGeneral Lareneg smiled sadistically before ordering all 5 of his heavy weapon units to open fire. Their conventional weaponry wouldn't work under water. However the aliens were far advanced in technology than humans were when they first observed them 200 years ago, there was no way the octopi had caught up to be able to defend against this kind of artillery. Intensely hot ions shells that would dissolve all of Earth's oceans with ease. Conquering Earth after that wouldn't be hard.\n\n\"Unit 2 unable to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 3 unable to fire, Over.\"\n\n\"Unit 5 unable to fire, over.\"\n\n\"Units 1 and 4?\" Lareneg asked but he received no response. A quick glance showed that their ships had disappeared from his radar. He managed to scramble the last footage captured by the ships cameras before they were destroyed. The ion shells they had fired had been deflected by a powerful magnetic field and the ships had been turned into plasma by their own weaponry.\n\n\"Unit 5 under fire, over.\"\n\nLareneg switched to the footage of Unit 5's ship, and saw several beams slicing through the ship. Whilst light based weaponry had been developed the possibility for continuous beams with this kind of penetrating power had proven impossible. Or so they though. \n\n\"Enemy barrages travel at light speed and can cut through adamantivibranimadeupmetallium with ease, retreat.\" Lareneg, thankful he was back in HQ. He checked his radar again to see that a huge missile had been released by the octopi, which completely missed his ships and accelerated through the galaxy. It seemed to defy the laws of physics, travelling significantly over the speed of light. Infact, it was heading right for head quarters. Lareneg braced as the entire building was shook by a huge explosion but was more suprised when a huge mass of water was released, which flooded the building. \n\nHe was even more petrified though when a slimy tentacle wrapped around his neck, before forcing itself down one of his three throats and blocking the respiratory systems in his kidneys. The intense pain of suffocation was the last thing he ever felt.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You are the God of Blood and Carnage, but you've recently fallen in love with a vegan.	[ "\"Soy Chai for Violet, ready for Violet at the bar.\"\n\nThe two friends were still feeling relaxed after yoga and were having their customary drink together.\n\n\"So, heard you started dating someone,\" Dee said to Violet.\n\n\"Who told you that?\"\n\n\"You just did. But Jenny said you didn't make book club last week. You never miss book club, and I know you weren't sick.\"\n\nViolet hid her face behind her cup. \"...maybe.\"\n\n\"Come on! I'm your best friend. You've gotta tell me.\"\n\n\"I still don't know if it's going to work out.\"\n\n\"Oh. Ohhhhh. You need to take better care of your heart, girl. Alright. What's up with him? Makes fun of your aromatherapy?\"\n\n\"He's not a vegan. Not even a vegetarian. He's never gonna be one, either.\"\n\n\"Vee, we've talked about this! That's a dealbreaker for you.\"\n\n\"Dee, there's one other thing...\"\n\n* * \n\nThey were assembled in the Great Hall, watchers of the Earth's cycles, facilitators of the Natural Order. And participants from time to time.\n\n\"Tell us about your new consort,\" came the call from one end of the Long Table. \n\nHe pushed the huge turkey leg on his plate away. He sighed, took a whole roast potato in his hand and took a bite. \n\n\"I've never seen him put off his meat before!\" said another. \"Must be serious, ho ho!\"\n\n\"Always so singleminded,\" replied one of the feminine perspectives at the table. \"I perceive a situation a bit more ... complicated?\"\n\nHe picked at the turkey leg, tore off a bit of meat, and rubbed his chin as he savored the bite. \"She's a vegan.\"\n\nEveryone roared with laughter. \"The God of Blood and Carnage, He who Ensures that the Cycle of Flesh is maintained in Nature, has had his heart stolen ... by a vegan. I told you all --\" she drew deeply of her wine goblet \"-- that this was complicated.\"\n\n * \n\n\"SANGUICOATL???\"\n\n\"SHH!\"\n\nDee lowered her voice. \"I mean first off, damn girl, I thought dating the Gods was only for Hollywood and Royalty--\"\n\n\"Keep your voice down, please?\" \n\n\"How?\"\n\n\"Last month. At the big conference my company put on.\"\n\n\"Yeah, all of that fake meat you make.\"\n\n\"Plant-based* meat, Dee, and we're the best in the world. Anyway,\" Violet's eyes darted around to check if anyone was eavesdropping, \"he showed up. After the presentation, in my office. He said he thought what we do is funny, ridiculous, pointless. I told him he was full of shit and that he should try some before he laughed at us.\"\n\n\"You told ... one of the Gods ...\" Dee's mouth hung open. \"Honey, I don't think I'm ever gonna look at you the same way again.\"\n\n\"You know I don't put up with people giving me crap about what I do. Not from anyone. I told him he was full of shit and he should try some and if he wanted he could come to my place and I'd cook him up a plant-burger and fries and that it would be the best he'd ever had.\"\n\n\"And then?\"\n\n\"And then ... he did.\" Violet shrugged and looked away, sipping on her drink. \"And we hit it off.\"\n\n* * \n\n\"Sanguicoatl does not need to explain his taste in companionship anymore than any of you,\" came the voice from the head of the Long Table. \"But I would advise you to consider your place and her place in the world. Human loyalties are so fickle, we don't need another campaign against the Gods.\" He snapped his fingers and the table cleared. \"Again into the world!\"\n\nTheir fellowship done for now, the Gods scattered to take their places in the Order of the World.\n\n * \n\nSanguicoatl appeared in a dark corner and then approached the door to her apartment. He could have appeared in any room in her apartment but only time that he had done that he had gotten an earful.\n\nThere was fire in her belly. And not a lust for war or animal competition of flesh against flesh, but a passion that burned as bright. It was exotic, refreshing, maybe intoxicating. He liked that about her.\n\nMaybe he loved her for it.\n\nHe knocked. The door opened. \"My greetings, Violet.\"\n\n\"Hey. Come in. How was work today?\"\n\n\"You regard the Course of the Gods as no more than a day of selling socks at a department store.\"\n\n\"So we've all got our place. Genuinely interested, though.\"\n\n\"I told the others about you.\"\n\n\"It's funny, I told my best friend about you. She said it isn't going to work out, between us.\"\n\n\"Perhaps she is correct. We are very different.\"\n\n\"Maybe that's why we're good for each other. You know ... I grew up resenting you. But I'm never going to turn a wild lion vegan. It was good of you to remind me of that.\"\n\nShe hopped up on her sock-covered feet, and walked over to the fridge. \n\nHe followed. \n\n\"I'll cook you up another one of my 'silly' plant-burgers, and maybe I can remind you --\" she tapped him on the nose \"-- that the world can* be at least a little different than what it is.\"\n\nTogether they were each more than they could be alone. For that, they would fall in love.\n\n* * *\n\nI collect my stories at /r/wpforme" ]	1
	[WP] 122 years into the future, scientists have invented a machine to see the past of any choosen moment/place/person on earth. Two curious scientists (who likes Reddit) use the machine to look at past you writing a response to this post.	[ "\"Oh, this one looks interesting. The \"writing prompt\" on the old Reddit website mentions the machine and describes its use and year with frightening accuracy,\" Mark told the other researcher. \n\n\"Are you browsing the internet at work again?\"\n\n\"Holy moly! They know my name and knew you were going to make a joke about my bad habit. You should check this out.\"\n\nStan walked up to the device to discover that he walked up to the device. \n\n\"Are you sure you're not just writing this down as stuff happens,\" Stan thought and read through the lens of the device. He quickly devised a money making scheme that the device might just facilitate. \n\n\"Quick, look up a few winning lottery numbers with big wins. If we read them off, they will be saved in this post! We can makes sure our great-grandparents come across amazing wealth that we can eventually inherit. While you're at it, I'll look up important investments to grow that cash cow!\"\n\n\"I can't do that, Stan. As soon as we turn away from the device, the writing ends.\"\n\n\"Damn the OP! Why didn't he give us more time!\" \n\n\"I don't know, but I'll quickly search for the lottery numbers, maybe there still a chance.\"\n\n\"Alright, I'll look track down their of emails.\"" ]	1
	[WP] "It just opened up and... swallowed him"	[ "\"I'm telling you, it just opened up and swallowed him.\" \n\n\n\"The mountain,\" Sam gestured with both arms to the towering mountain in front of them, \"opened up and swallowed him...\"\n\n\n\"Yes! How many times do I need to tell you!\" \n\n\nSam let out an enormous sigh. Being the leader of the First Exploratory Team was taking a permanent toll on his patience. First it's talking to realistic townspeople who have to actually be persuaded to give you quests, then it's giant spiders in the magical forest, now it's mountains swallowing up his warband. He was starting to think that realistic fantasy mmo virtual reality was maybe not all it's cracked up to be. Especially the spiders. It's one thing to watch your character pummel mobs into oblivion, and another thing entirely to be able to see 64 eyes looking at you with alien hunger. \n\n\nSam bowed his head in exasperation for what seemed like the thousandth time, \"Fine take to me where the mountain ate Jake.\" He couldn't even take the words seriously as they left his mouth. \n\n\n\"I mean, are you sure man? There were teeth and everything.\" \n\n\n\"We just got out of the forest Max. Do you want to go back to the spiders?\" \n\n\nMax shuddered, \"Uh, ok it was over here.\" \n\n\nMax began trudging his way through the remaining forest toward the mountain with extreme difficulty. His oversized pauldrons with massive spikes made it incredibly hard to move through the thick undergrowth and left a path of devastation in his wake for anyone to follow. Stupid warriors and their oversized gear. He had been practically useless against the spiders where he couldn't swing his 7 foot broadsword without it getting stuck in a tree. Sam chuckled to himself as he remembered their first few fights as a team. Max had killed himself on two separate occasions when he swung his sword too high and his own pauldron spikes had stabbed him in the head. Sam had told the guild that putting a warrior on a scouting team was a mistake but NOOO, even now the holy trinity was sacred above all. Meanwhile Sam moved nimbly through the forest, the oiled leather gear of a ranger hardly making any noise. \n\nFinally they arrived at the base of the mountain where Max had apparently been eaten by an inanimate object 5,000 meters high. Sam was hardly surprised, the guy always got stuck in the most ridiculous situations that Sam had to pull him out of. But what could you expect from a mage? Since they couldn't just buy spells anymore they were always looking for secret areas that held a dusty tome or a wizened hermit who only accepted pickled spider eyes as payment or something equally ridiculous. If Max wasn't so good at conjuring that delicious apple pie Sam would've ditched him long ago. \n\n\n\"There. Right there, that's where the mouth was.\" \n\n\nA solid wall of unassuming grey rock lay before Sam and Jake. \n\n\nSam gave Jake a skeptical look then nocked an arrow and let loose at the wall. It pinged against the wall harmlessly. \n\n\nFor a long second nothing happened. As nothing continued to happen Sam gave Jake another exasperated look. \n\n\nJake reacted indignantly and moved to show Sam exactly what happened, \"Look! Max was right here then... AAHHHHH.\" Jake yelled as the mountain opened up and ate him. \n\n\nSam waited utterly unfazed. It would be so easy to leave them there. I could just walk back through the forest and no one would be the wiser. Yes sir, it was a tragic accident, the mountain ate them. No sir, I thought it best to report back to the guild. Yes sir I did make it through the forest by myself. I'd be honored to accept this promotion for valor sir. A new squad? All rangers? Well Max and Jake were great men but if you insist sir.\n\n\nSam let his imagination carry him for a few more sweet mageless, warriorless moments then gave another massive sigh and dove toward the mountainside graceful as a professional diver. As the maw opened up around him a thought gave him a moment of hope. Maybe Jake's pauldrons had killed him again in the fall! " ]	1
	[WP] You accidently killed the most renowned and deadly hitman to ever live and become the most feared person in the underworld despite being a normal person.	[ "I'm just a cop. I'm not a superhero, or some kind of legendary warrior. I'm just a man who happened to be in the right place at the right time. The incident happened several years ago, but I know it better than I know the alphabet. I dream about it sometimes, waking up in the middle of the night, all the guilt and fear and horror from that day channeled back into me. The only thing that lets me sleep at night, the only thing that keeps me going, the reason that I have a wife and family: I never meant for him to die.\n\nThe date was September 22, 2003. The city mayor was giving a speech announcing the grand opening of a new art museum, one that had been anticipated for over a decade. It was quite a grand event, what with thousands upon thousands of bundled up people attending the ceremony on that brisk day. I can still see the mayor in my mind's eye, up on the podium, his round glasses ever so askew. I can remember the moment when one of the guards drew his gun and aimed it at the mayor.\n\nAnd as that guard laid his sights upon the mayor's breast, I drew my gun and fired.\n\nThree shots was all it took for my life to fall apart.\n\nMy dreams always end with those three gunshots.\n\nBang. \nBang.\nBang.\n\nI don't remember much else after that; the mayor taking cover, the crowd screaming, people running, all in a blur around me. But I can remember him, the way he looked as his body fell to the ground, as the blood pooled around his lifeless form. The expression on his face, his vacant eyes filled with a final plea:\n\nNot like this.\n\nI was going to hand in my badge that day. I going to end it all. But the chief stopped me. He saw the look in my eyes, and he knew what I wanted to do; I wasn't the first. But he got me back. I don't know how he did it. But somehow, through some miracle or divine interference, he got me back on my feet. And I continued. I continued going on, I continued living my life, I continued being myself.\n\nHe saved me.\n\nAnd two years later, I saved him back.\n\nIt was a mission gone bad; a home burglary turned into a shootout, and we thought we had subdued the enemy. Turns out we were wrong.\n\nThe chief was downed when he opened the door, and I was right behind him. For some reason, be it bravery or plain stupidity, I went for the burglar head-on before he could shoot the chief again. That burglar was going to shoot me dead there and then.\n\nBut then he saw my name tag.\n\nThe gun clattered to the floor as he surrendered, hands behind his head in the space of a second. His eyes were filled with a mortal fear, the kind that you see in a beast that's been surrounded. The kind of fear when you are faced with death.\n\nEver since that day, I've been working on the front lines, beating back the underworld with my reputation.\n\nBut I'm not brave, or smart, or good with a gun. I'm not any of those things.\n\nI'm just your average cop who's lucky enough to be a victim of circumstance.", "The first thing I remember from that day was how amazingly high I was. Not that this was abnormal, but I usually only got that high when I had nowhere to go. Home from college for the summer, and my mom asked me to run to the store on the corner. Sure, I said...just a run down the block. \n\nI jumped on my board and rolled down the sidewalk. It was hot, the yellow sky super-heated the pavement, and all I could think about was the refreshing energy drink cooler that awaited me.\n\nDrink in hand, I headed home, having completely forgotten the few items that my mom wanted. I dropped my board and got ready to go, completely forgetting that gravity would force my board to adopt the path of least resistance. I had already rolled ten feet before I realized what was happening. All I could think to do was to step off of the board, which I did. Unfortunately, when I stepped off, I clipped the edge of the lip with my foot. The board flipped up in the air behind me, bounced off of a nearby brick wall, and landed with a sickening thud. \n\nI turned to see a man on the ground, my board sticking out of what was left of his face. I was too stunned to really grasp what had just happened, all I could think of was getting home. I bent down and grabbed my board, and with a hard tug, the board came free. I turned and walked away, trying to act as casual as my thc-addled brain would allow.\n\n\nFast forward ten years. \n\nI moved away shortly after the incident, and tried to put it all behind me. Finally, I came home to visit family, and decided to stay. I met a woman, fell in love, bla bla bla. Typical story, I know...but thus is where it gets strange. \n\nOne day, my wife decided that we needed to try this new restaurant. New to us, the place has been around since the 40's, and a known (to law enforcement) mafia-owned establishment. So we go downtown and try this place. Amazing food. Check comes, and it says 'Gratis-' and the price is zero. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I decided that we should leave before the house decided to rescind the offer.\n\nA week later, I was driving to...somewhere, I really can't remember. I was at a stoplight when a man came out of the shadows and knocked on my window. I turned to see the biggest gun barrel I had ever seen, and it was pointed right at my face. \"Get out.\" It wasn't a question. I knew what to do, so I proceeded to get out of my car. The man looked at me, did a double take, and he visibly shrank before me, eyes wide from fear. \"Y...you.\" He backed away, almost falling over his own legs doing so. \"I'm sorry man...It was just a goof!\" And with that, he turned around and fled.\n\nStrange, I know, but this last one is the strangest. This was just yesterday. I was at my mom's house, same place I grew up. Same store down the street. She wanted me to run down and get her some flour. Sure, I said, just down the block. The weather was perfect for a walk, and I don't get out as much as I should.\n\nSo I head down the street, into the store, grab the flour. I take it to the counter, and the woman behind it smiled warmly and began speaking wildly in Italian. She then told me to stay here, that they had been waiting for me to return all these years. I was too stunned to say anything, and before I could react, an older man walked out from the back, the woman in tow.\n\nThe man grasped my hand and shook it warmly. He then told me a story, one in which I was the hero. And here I'd been living my whole life with the crushing guilt of having killed a man...guess all those hours of therapy were a waste.\n\n\n", "My daily commute to work involves driving through a bad neighbourhood. I wish I had a better route, but I don't. All other options involve sitting for over an hour in traffic, just because the idiotic city planners don't seem to understand how traffic lights are supposed to work. The reason I don't run into much traffic in this neighbourhood is that most people are too afraid to drive through, but I don't understand why. I drive an old car, I keep the doors and windows locked, and most of the time, I am driving fast enough that no one would be able to catch up to me on foot anyway.\n\nI got this job about a year ago. One thing that really annoys me about this neighbourhood is that there are so many jaywalkers. People never look both ways before crossing, and they are always darting straight in front of your car. Some time about three months after I started this job, some idiot walked onto the road just as I was driving by, as usual. I couldn't stop in time, and ended up hitting him. Of course, in this neighbourhood, I dared not get out of the car to see if he was all right. I just drove off before anyone could see anything. \n\nLater that week, I heard in the news that a notorious hitman had died in that same neighbourhood after being hit by a car. The description of the car was very vague, but whatever details there were matched my car, though no one could get the license plate. Whatever, I'm sure it must have been a coincidence.\n\nIn the following weeks, I noticed that a lot more people were jaywalking in this neighbourhood than usual. Most of them seemed to be angry about something and were staring at my car, and some appeared to be carrying baseball bats. A lot of them even stopped in my path for some stupid reason. Did they want me to hit them? There were so many that I sometimes just couldn't avoid them, and so in the coming weeks, I ended up hitting abut one person per day, then two, then three, then four, then five. Like hell I was going to stop to check if they were all right in this neighbourhood, and besides, there were no police officers around anyway, so of course I just drove off in all these situations like nothing happened. Most of those people, I hit when coming home from work, and I'm not sure why. There are a lot of times when the stresses of work just get too much for me, and I have to go to the bar and have a few drinks to relax, though I'm pretty sure that had nothing to do with it.\n\nAfter a few months, I noticed that suddenly, I was not hitting anybody anymore, because no one was jaywalking. In fact, there were a lot fewer people in the streets, and a lot of the time, whenever someone saw me, they ran straight back to their home for some reason. I'm not sure why, but I'm glad I don't have to deal with this crap anymore. Hitting people was really starting to slow me down anyway. No one in this neighbourhood has walked in front of my car since.", "Click\n\nThe headlights of my truck illuminated the dirt road ahead. Luckily, deer weren't known to be in this area, so I never would have thought I needed to pay too much attention to stuff on the side of the road. My friend was the only one around here for miles.\n\nThe road never changed, most of this journey back home was straight with very few turns. Everything looked the same. Until something sprinted form the bushes. \n\nOut of my left eye I saw something run onto the road, and it was gone as soon as it came. Only after the thump of my front and back tires did I fully comprehend the situation. \"God dammit\" I said aloud as I pulled over, grabbed a flashlight, and left my truck. \n\nIn a situation like this everybody wants to know two things, what they hit and if it's dead. Both of these questions were answered for me immediately.\n\nHe was the most cartoonish looking man I had ever seen. With his tailored suit and thin handle-bar mustache I was certain I had just killed Waluigi. \n\nI didn't want to get to close though. It wasn't just because he was he surrounded by a pool of blood and was dead, but he gave off a creepy vibe. Who the hell runs through a forest miles from civilization at night? \n\n\"Hey there's a light, he went this way!\" A deep, brute like voice instructed. It came from the left side of the road in the forest, the direction this mysterious man had come from. The voice wasn't alone, I could now make out three men. All attempting to re-catch their breath and understand this scene they had just stumbled upon. \n\nI was certain these were my last few moments, especially since timed slowed down and these guys were sporting pistols. Despite their weapons I held my chin high and puffed my chest out a bit. As a former marine, I had learned to remain calm and confident in situations like this. One of them looked my in the face and said,\"What happened here?\" Never in my life had I heard such a thick Italian accent. \n\nLuckily the question was answered by his companion, the brutish one who spoke earlier. \"Ain't it obvious? This man has done our job.\" \n\nThe one who had not spoken yet took a step forward and pulled a wad of cash from his trench coat and tossed it at my feet. \"Listen.. buddy,\" he also sounded very Italian, and agitated, \"...whatever they tell you to do...\" he now motioned with his hands at the other two men. \"Romano, Santobello, and Bianchi... we'd...\" he faltered, it like he just got into trouble, \"Just leave us and our families alone is all we ask. Tell your men the same thing.\" At this they turned and disappeared into the woods, nearly tripping over one another. \n\nIt puzzled me for many years why, if they were so fearful of me, they didn't just kill me right there. They had guns after all. Not until a crime show came on one night did I learn that those were hit-men were, and the identity of the man who I killed was. \n\nThe dead guy's name was Vito Corradetti, and he operated another hit-men/cartel style service. His group was known to torture anyone who interfered with their operations, but Santbello's group had taken up the opportunity of killing Corradetti after discovering he'd be isolated for a weekend. They saw me as part of a completely seperate group, one even more powerful than Corradetti's. From their perspective, killing me was not worth what awaited them if \"my men\" found out. \n \n " ]	4
*Flaw, loophole, error, use whatever adjective you want. (Another ending could be that the scientists are bad guys)	[WP] You are part of the first ship to travel to a nearby planet, on which intelligent life was located. Your job is to help their species by teaching your technology. But the species points out a flaw* in your technology that is so obvious that a lot of mistakes made were suddenly explained.	[ "I continued turning the handle as I explained, letting them see that it was more than a momentary effect. \"So you see, V'thruum, that my arm movement is converted by the machine into what we call \"electrical\" energy, allowing me to power this light.\"\n\nV'thruum watched carefully, his insectoid eyes fixed on the glowing bulb. \"And you must keep turning or the light goes out?\" His English was filled with strange clicks and whistles - an unavoidable problem when speaking through mandibles - but perfectly intelligible otherwise. \n\n\"Yes, that's right. You need to keep on giving it energy in order to get energy out.\" V'thruum caught on fast - the natives of this planet had only primitive technology, but they adapted to it well.\n\nThe mantis-alien cocked his head to one side, considering. \"Why don't you just use the electrical energy to power the machine? Then you could do other things using the light.\"\n\nI laughed. Primitives! Even the smart ones are still so backward, like an Earth-child before hypno-induction. \"No, V'thruum. That's not how it works. It changes energy from one type to another; it doesn't make new energy. That's a basic physical law. You can't power something with itself.\"\n\n\"What if-\"\n\n\"Look, I'll show you.\" I let go off the handle and plugged the machine into itself. After a few short moments, the lightbulb flickered and went out. \"See? It doesn't work.\"\n\nV'thruum sighed. \"Obviously not at the moment. But just tighten that slightly\" - one segmented arm pointed towards the base of the machine - \"and flip those red switches down. That should do it.\"\n\nI humoured the giant bug. An enquiring mind in a primitive is always a good sign, even if they do come up with bizarre ideas. The changes weren't very significant - certainly not enough to violate the laws of thermodynamics - but it would make V'thruum happy, and help him to learn.\n\nThe lightbulb flickered back on.\n\nV'thruum smiled - or his species' equivalent of smiled, anyway. \"See - now it works. I've increased the... what's that word again?\"\n\n\"Uuh...\" The light continued to shine, brighter than before. \"How...\" It didn't make any sense. It shouldn't have been possible. It wasn't possible. \n\n\"Efficiency. That's the word. I've increased the efficiency.\"\n\n\"That's not...not possible.\" Perpetual motion didn't work - everyone knew that. We'd known that for millenia. There was no such thing as free energy; that's not how the universe worked. \n\n\"It is possible. Look, it's definitely real.\"\n\nI must have been ashen, because V'thruum's smile changed to a look of concern. He fussed over me, helping me sit down on a nearby tree stump, rushing off to fetch me a cup of water. Through it all, the light continued to shine. \n\nIt made no sense. How could a primitive have solved a problem that had baffled mankind? How could a nomadic bug society, whose most notable invention up until now was the flint spear, have invented a functional perpetual motion machine? \n\nWhen the alien returned, cup carefully held in chitinous claws, I was calm enough to speak clearly. \"How did you know how to do that?\" \n\nHe shrugged - not an easy gesture for a creature with no shoulders. \"It just seemed obvious, really. Like when V'mentho came up with the idea of a sharp rock to cut things, and V'trelli came up with the idea of using long sticks to keep exo-snails from touching us. Tying the stones to the sticks was just the next logical step.\"\n\n\"We thought it was impossible. No human has ever managed to make a machine like this.\"\n\n\"Ah. Well in that case, I'm glad I thought of it. It's a little bit of a return for all the gifts you've given us, like fire and hats. We're very grateful.\"\n\nI couldn't stop looking at the light. How much of human history would have been different, if we'd thought of this thousands of years ago? How much time and effort might have been saved, how many lives improved, if we hadn't spent millenia developing inefficient and polluting ways to work around a limitation than had never existed?\n\nEven now, the standard was nuclear. We'd made it this far, to V'thuum's planet and a dozen others, on the back of a power source that produced deadly waste and occasionally poisoned large areas of land for decades. How much faster and farther could we have spread with a source of clean, free energy. The whole sweep of human history, the march of progress, suddenly seemed farcical.\n\nV'thuum stood near me, vestigial wings buzzing sporadically in a way that I'd come to associate with nervousness or worry. He kept on offering me things, looking for something to snap me out of it. I continued to sit there, still dazed.\n\nHis mandibles clicked in excitement - he'd had an idea. Another idea. \"I know what will cheer you up. Do you remember V'lek? Well, he's been practicing that dance you showed us-\"\n\n\"The Charleston.\"\n\n\"Yes. The Charleston. He's been practicing that, and he says if you do it ever-so-slightly faster, and with your hands like this, then you can teleport.\"\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nI have more stories, if you are interested, at /r/peritract." ]	1
Initially the idea was an Elf, but I changed it to any sort of immortal. Vampire, angel, random cursed person, whatever.	[WP] You're an Immortal who went into hibernation long ago. When you wake up, the world has changed beyond recognition.	[ "The stars were gone. Not only did I awaken with the strange domicile of some primitive, but the stars had fled the night sky. It was possible the stars had crashed to the earth and we're being used to illuminate the enormous structures I was surrounded by. I wanted to speak to the creators of such immense things, they were sure more impressive than the primitives I had chanced upon since waking. \n\nThey were much like the cave people of long ago, but their brains had been removed and they buzzed about like ants. Strange devices and wires were connected to their ears and hands- and they walked around seemingly without realizing they were part of a giant living clot. They were still small, barely to my shoulder in most cases, and they clearly we're not as strong. \n\n\"What's that! Oh my God, run!\" As with all those before me, the primitives ran- though this one attempted to use language, rather than a simple primitive vocal noise. \n\nMuch like ants, the primitives flocked away from me as if some command had been issued for them to relocate, they reminded me of schooling fish in the ocean. My scales quivered as I came to the conclusion that they were my prey. I hadn't noticed my ravenous hunger until they began to flee. \n\nMore of my kind were probably the owners of these cattle, surely they rested atop the massive constructions around me. I chose to climb to the top of the nearest one, to address my brother or sister and be offered several of the primitives as a gift. I would keep as many as I needed to breed them and devour the rest. \n\nThrough barriers, invisible barriers, within the unnatural mountain, I could see the primitives scurrying about. The often dropped piles of white leaves, or a container for drinking some scalding liquid, when they caught sight of me. Clumsy and foolish creatures. They could use tools, so I wondered if they were aware of their place in the world. \n\nWhen I arrived atop of my chosen perch, none of my brothers or sisters awaited me, only birds and tall metal rods extending from the floor. I was beyond disappointed. I assumed that my brother or sister must be atop the highest tower, and that the one upon which I stood was merely a corral for her cattle. \n\nFrom tower to tower I leapt. My brother or sister should have noticed me. They should have sent a welcome attendant and a gift. Perhaps the customs had long died. \n\nAgain, the tower was empty. I leaned my head back and roared with the might of my many centuries sleeping. I closed my eyes and reached out telepathically to my family. There was only silence- never had this planet been so quiet. \n\nI pushed the limits of my abilities, straining until my vision was blurred. Held within the stone of structures around me, the telepathic resonance of history responded to me. \n\nI saw wars between the primitives, with some loud fire stick. Then I saw wars with Spears and swords, then I saw tribes of nomadic primitives, fighting with stone weapons and hide clothing. I saw thousands of years of history for the primitives, hundreds of thousands of years. \n\nThe oldest memory I could sense, locked within the organic matter being poured into little metal boxes with wheels. A meteor. The entire sky blocked out by the burning ball of metal and carbon that was barreling toward the surface. My brothers and sisters around me fled in every direction, even the leaf eating cousins fled. \n\nThe radiation of the space rock had allowed me to sleep for thousands of years, to change- to evolve. I was the last living dinosaur, and the primitives would return this world to me, its rightful ruler. \n\n\nOf you liked my little tale, you can head of to /r/Deadpoetic12 and read the book I'm writing! " ]	1
	[WP] "It's not about morality, it's about the person who decides what is good and bad. Justice is a null word."	[ "“Alune,” Judith yelled. The man scampered forward, his sword covered in warm blood. “What did i say? Minimal casualties.” Alune said nothing. He never did. Judith could not tell if his face changed thanks to the black cloth that completely covered it.\n\nJudith sighed and motioned for him to follower her. Taking the monastery had been harder than expected. Many had resisted, even after the public example of Master Hisho. What did they hope to gain by killing themselves upon the swords that had been proved time and time again to never fail? It was not a hope of success, surely, for there was none. As scholars they should have seen the foolishness of such pointless endeavours.\n\nJudith walked onto a balcony and looked down into the courtyard below. Her men, clothed and armoured in black, circled a group of men armed with spears and staffs. Judith ground and leapt from the balcony, landing with a thud below. She let out a grunt. \n\nJudith walked up and her men parted, allowing her to walk forward. The resisters turned their weapons upon her. She shook her head, mostly for dramatic effect.\n\n“Men, scholars,” she began, spreading her arms. “Why do you insist upon laying down your lives for a cause long lost?” One of the men straightened and spoke, clear and loud.\n\n“We fight for Honor. For what is right,” he announced. Judith made a show of laughing.\n\n“Honor? Right?” she giggled. “Please, you are joking? Surely men so educated as yourselves do not operate under such faulty pretenses?” The man stood firm, defiant.\n\n“You slander honor because you have none,” he asserted.\n\n“No, I slander honor like one might slander the idea that jumping off a cliff with spikes at the bottom is good for your health,” Judith retorted. “It is a foolish and vain concept, right next to good and bad. There is no good nor bad! ‘It’s not about morality, it’s about the person who decides what is good and bad.Justice is a null word,’ so said a man far wiser than yourselves! He understood, understands, the truth of things! He is not blinded like yourselves. For you may call me evil, and I may do just the same, and neither of us are closer to the right. You cannot measure good and evil, and, if it cannot be measured, what use is it?”\n\nThe man made to speak. Judith simply raised a hand to silence him.\n\n“No, take your foolish ideas to the grave.”\n\n…\n\nVer-dun looked at his young student. \n\n“You did well.”\n\n“Thank you,” Judith replied.\n\n“Judith.”\n\n“Yes?’\n\n“Good and bad is a thing to be used.”\n\n“Used?”\n\n“Against those who operate under it.”" ]	1
	[WP] Little does the Chicago Police Department know, they've infiltrated the mafia so much so that no criminals are left, just a bunch of undercover cops.	[ "The Mob\n\nLivin' in Chicago is alright, 'specially for an undercover cop. I mean you fear, all your time on the street, getting shot, but it's alright.\n\nI was working on catching some hardcore drug dealers out on the beat, livin', workin', associatin' wi' criminals and everything was going according to plan: I was going to nail these criminals.\n\nThe problem with being an undercover cop, is you've got to watch murders and not arrest the people who did the murder, or pull 'em up.\n\nLittle did I know, I was going to be the one murdered this time.\n*\nCurtis was an old gun copper I'd known forever, and he was there when the mob turned.\n\nCurtis had the look of an old mob kingpin, which stood him in good stead to go undercover. One day, he just arrived on the scene and no one dared to question his legitimacy.\n\nI winked at him, and he gave me a greasy. We needed to stay in part.\n\nThen there was Young Sylvester, a copper with black, slick wavy hair that looked the part...\n\nWait a minute, all these mobsters are coppers. There's Lionel, Giles, Evan - all coppers.\n\nLionel speaks up. \"Oi, this has been going on for long enough; we all know that we are all coppers.\"\n\nI was glad because they were waiting for the cement to dry around my ankles... when it did, I'd be thrown in the ocean.\n\n\"Police brothers,\" I was sayin', \"I've got used to the high life, but now we return to the police officer life.\"\n\n\"Doh,\" we all exclaimed at once.\n\n\"I say we convert,\" I was sayin'.\n\n\"Yeah, let's become real mobsters,\" said Giles, \"I reckon it'd be better than going on the beat.\"\n\n\"What's the first order of business, then,\" I said.\n\n\"Murdering the snitch,\" they all said.\n\n\"Oi, listen fellas, we're all technically snitches.\"\n\nThey glared at me with malicious eyes.\nTHE END.", "The warehouse lit up like Chinese New Year with the sharp cracks of gunfire, and muzzle flashes popped like paparazzi on the red carpet. Dark figures scurried behind any cover that could be found as bullets thumped into wood and shattered against steel columns.\n\n\"How the fuck did we get into this?\" shouted Francolini as he dove behind a forklift. His partner, Maria, was lying prone behind a concrete pillar with her arms vainly trying to cover her head from the concrete chips erupting all around her. The Scalini family had apparently brought full-auto weapons and were spraying the room indiscriminately. \n\n\"Get to the car, call for assistance!\" she shouted. Tears escaped the corner of her eyes and mingle with blood running down from her scalp. \"I'll cover, but tell them to bring the whole fucking division!\" Maria sat up with her back to the pillar, her grip white on her 9mm. Taking a deep breath, Maria popped up to a knee and leaned out from the protection of the pillar to squeeze off three quick shots.\n\n-----\n\nThree bullets cracked in quick succession into the car door Gino was hiding behind. \"How the fuck did I get into this!\" he screamed to himself. Ten years of undercover work, almost his entire career. He had gone deeper than any other agent in the FBI, risen the ranks of his criminal outfit to where he effectively controlled it and had shut down anything outside the FBI's control. And here he was, bleeding on a warehouse floor after a deal gone south cause some jackass local mafioso got itchy about the deal.\n\nHe looked back at his crew covering behind some steel barrels. Five of the best undercover agents he'd ever worked with. He knew their wives, their kids. \n\nHe pulled out his cell phone, quickly dialed 911. \n\n\"911 what's your emergency?\" the operater droned. \n\n\"Better get here quick,\" Gino shouted into the phone, \"lotta people gonna die unless you get a whole fuckton a cops here in a hurry.\" He set his phone down and picked up his Uzi. \n\n\"Fuckin goombahs!\" he shouted as he stood and began firing.\n\n------\n\n\"This is Marco Carcetti, ATF, and we have one hell of a firefight goin' here!\" Marco was shouting into his cellphone from outside the warehouse.\n\n\"What's your location?\" the operator asked quickly.\n\n\"Corner of West 107 and Oaklawn Avenue. Send at least two fire-teams and an assault vehicle, ASAP.\" \n\nHe ended the call. Then hit a quick dial. \"Get Director Roberts, tell him its Carcetti in Chicago, and that everything's gone to shit!\"\n\nHe waited, panting in fear over the sound of gunfire punctuated with screams erupting from the warehouse.\n\nThen the director was on the line, \"Carcetti! What the hell's going on?\" \n\n\"The meeting broke down. Somebody pulled a gun, it all went to hell.\"\n\n\"How many families showed?\"\n\n\"All six. Everybody was represented.\"\n\n\"Shit. All right, I just got word the team is en route. Sit tight, stay out of the fight. Let the wops kill themselves off.\" \n\n\"10-4\" Carcetti hung up the phone. Wops. I'm a fuckin wop, he said to no one. He signaled to Benedetto and Franky to hang tight. \"Teams comin, we'll shut it all down. No need to risk yourselves in this.\"\n\nThen his phone rang again. It was the Director. \n\n\"Director Roberts?\" Carcetti picked up the call.\n\n\"Carcetti, I don't know how to do this but you gotta get in there and get everybody to calm the hell down. I just talked to the DEA Director and they got people in there too. Apparently they infiltrated the Veracci family six months ago and those are federal agents in there.\"\n\nCarcetti stood speechless. \n\n------\n\nAnd so on, and so forth.\n\n", "Officer Alan Doyle was nervous. This was his first major undercover job and they had him infiltrating a meeting of the highest ranking members of the Chicago Mafia. He was wearing a wire and just needed to get their names and info on what they were planning.\n\nHe walked into the meeting room, at the table were the Caporegimes Mike Russo, Bob Rossi, and Will Ricci; the Consigliere Joe Rizzo, and the Don himself; Don John Corleone. These men were supposedly the most dangerous people in Chicago, many stories had been spread of their previous exploits, mainly by themselves. Now a meeting had been called to discuss plans for their next big thing. Alan had worked his way up the rank and was recently promoted to be another Caporegieme. He took a seat with the others, hoping his wire could pick up all their voices.\n\n\"Hello, Ted Marino,\" the Don greeted Alan with his undercover name. He leaned his head down a bit, seeming to make sure he really enunciated his name. \"Glad you could join us as we plan our next big job,\" he added, putting emphasis on the ending.\n\n\"Yes, good to see you all, John Corleone, Joe Rizzo, Will Ricci, Bob Rossi, and Mike Russo,\" Alan replied. \"So, what illegal activity will we be engaging in next?\"\n\n\"Oh there's so much we could do,\" Joe said. \"There's drug trafficking, fixing betting events, bank robbing, or good old murder. What sounds good to any of you?\" He spoke very clearly when listing the crimes.\n\n\"I for one think it would be a good idea if we list all the unlawful things we've already committed,\" Bob suggested. \"That way we can think of something new to do.\"\n\n\"I agree with Bob Rossi,\" Mike said. \"We should also specify who has done what so they get proper credit.\"\n\nAlan was trying his best to maintain a calm façade. The meeting was going nowhere and he didn't know how much longer he could keep up the lie. He wished there was another undercover cop with him. He felt so alone in the room full of hardened criminals.\n\n\nYeah, this is my first attempt at one of these. Not very good, I know, but thought it'd be fun to try.", "\"What's the skinny?\" Sergeant Manchego asked, leaning against a brick wall and lighting a cigarette.\n\n\"It's worse than we ever imagined.\" Officer Roquefort replied, fumbling to light his own cigarette. The lighter fell from his shaking fingers and clattered on the pavement. Roquefort jumped and attempted to cover his yelp with a fit of coughing.\n\n\"Well, get on with it.\" Sergeant Manchego urged after Roquefort had finished defending his masculinity.\n\n\"You ever see that movie where the gangster puts the guy's head in a vice and pops his eyeball right out of his head? Well, I wish we had it so good.\"\n\n\"What do you mean? You're running drugs, remember? What, did they ask you to snort a line off some guy's -\"\n\n\"You don't understand. We have bureaus - Patrol, Detectives, Homicide. Everything is laid out neat, separated by hierarchy. In there? It's chaos. I can't just run drugs. I've got to extort, assault, and burgle. They...they...\" Officer Roquefort said, trying to master the shaking that had spread from his hands and taken hold of his entire body.\n\n\"Out with it. You're better than this, Roquefort.\" Sergeant Manchego said.\n\n\"They killed him. Killed a guy right in front of me, but it wasn't the blood or the screaming that bothered me. No, it wasn't enough just to watch the murder. Afterwards they made us eat him!\" Roquefort choked out before spewing up blue and white chunks all over the pavement.\n\n\"Jesus!\" Sergeant Manchego exclaimed.\n\n\"Jesus!\" he said again, unperturbed by the cigarette butt that now burned his fingers.\n\n\"I can't do it anymore, Sergeant. I just can't.\" Roquefort said, his eyes pleading for mercy. Sergeant Manchego looked away.\n\n\"I'll talk to the Captain. Until then, stick to the job. If we can get them to take the bait, maybe we can roll one of them up the ladder and bring you out.\" Sergeant Manchego said, dropping the butt and leaving Roquefort to quiver alone in the alley.\n\n \n\n\"Sir, do you have a moment?\" Sergeant Manchego asked, rapping on the door to get the Captain's attention.\n\n\"Oh, what, er, yes, what is it, Sergeant?\" Captain Halloumi asked, putting aside the report he had been reading.\n\n\"I just met with Officer Roquefort. Sir, if his intel is credible the mob have resorted to cannibalism as a means of rooting out cops. He - \" Captain Halloumi stopped Sergeant Manchego short with a wave of his sausage-fingered hand.\n\n\"Let's just keep that under the rug, shall we? One of Sergeant Bryznda's men in Homicide pulled that little stunt.\" Captain Halloumi explained.\n\n\"HE WHAT?!\" Sergeant Manchego said.\n\n\"You don't have to tell me, Sergeant. The kid fucked up. But he meant well. He figured this way we could nail them all on charges of cannibalism. That gets them behind bars and does a hell of a lot better job turning the public against them than tax evasion. He got a little carried away, we've reprimanded him, it's time to move on.\" Captain Halloumi said, fixing Sergeant Manchego with a pair of watery eyes that broached no argument. Satisfied that Sergeant Manchego had received the message, Captain Halloumi dismissed him with a puff of his mustache.\n\n\n\nCaptain Halloumi plopped himself into the straight-back chair across from Superintendent Gouda.\n\n\"Well, Captain, let's have it.\" the Superintendent said. \n\n\"By now you've already heard about the little mishap with Sergeant Bryndza's man.\" Captain Halloumi began.\n\n\"I'd hardly call an orgy of cannibalism a little mishap, but yes, I'm aware of the incident.\" Superintendent Gouda interrupted.\n\n\"Yes, well, nevertheless, the situation has been dealt with. I'm pleased to report that all agents are making good headway. Sergeant Manchego's man thinks he can pull off a sting within the month, and Sergeant Bryndza's man is writing up the report on the -\"\n\n\"No. Sergeant Bryndza's man will destroy all evidence that we were ever involved in that, you hear? There's no way I'm going to the Mayor and telling him one of our men instigated cannibalism just to bag a few old, Italian men too bored to run their deli legally.\" Superintendent Gouda said.\n\n\"Very good, sir. I'll relay the message. I've also received some reports of human trafficking, but I don't have any men directly involved, so the intelligence is spotty at best.\"\n\n\"Don't you worry about the human trafficking, I've got my own men on that, Captain.\"\n\n\"Ah, uh, of course.\" Captain Halloumi said, pondering just how* many men the force had monitoring the mob now.\n\n\"If there's nothing else I have a meeting with the mayor.\" Superintendent Gouda said, peering over his glasses. Captain Halloumi caught the hint, and took his invitation to leave.\n\n*\n\n\"I hope you have some good news, Superintendent.\" the mayor said, continuing to look out the window.\n\n\"I wish that I did, sir.\" Superintendent Gouda said, addressing the mayor's back.\n\n\"By all accounts the mob continues to grow. Their crimes grow more brazen and numerous. Our undercover operatives think they're close on a few angles, but we need more time.\" Superintendent Gouda continued.\n\n\"Damn it, Gouda! Time is something we don't have. How many man have I given you? How many millions have we thrown at these investigations?\" The mayor said, spinning to face the superintendent so that Gouda could witness the full measure of the mayor's rage.\n\n\"I know, sir. We just want to be certain. They learned from Al Capone. They're cautious. They think like police. Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd think they were all officers.\" Superintendent Gouda chuckled, trying to break the mayor's fury, but if anything the mayor's mood only worsened.\n\n*\n\n\"Jesus!\" Officer Roquefort exclaimed after ripping the sack off. Superintendent Gouda's bloodied face greeted him. He had been lead in, head covered, hours ago and strapped to the chair. At Don Taleggio's insistence every member of the Pecorino family had taken turns beating the man. He had cried out as only a gagged man can, but with each broken bone his cries had grown weaker, until they ceased entirely. The beatings had continued for a half hour more for good measure. Now, everyone having had their turn, Don Taleggio had ordered the men to remove the mask and dispose of the body.\n\nOfficer Roquefort's exclamation recalled Superintendent Gouda to consciousness. Roquefort bent down and carefully removed the gag under the guise of undoing the Superintendent's bonds.\n\n\"Shh, sir. Pretend to be dead. I'll get you out of this once we're out of the warehouse.\" Roquefort whispered.\n\n\"It..grghs...to top...fissk...mayor.\" Superintendent Gouda spluttered before coughing blood onto Roquefort's ear. He reeled backwards, gasping for air, but his lungs couldn't be satisfied, so he died instead.\n\nRoquefort continued to untie the body, then drug it out of the warehouse.\n\n\"Sir, might I say you are doing a fine job.\" Roquefort said, stuffing a stubborn leg into the trunk. He climbed into the driver's side and turned the ignition.\n\n\"The Fontina family send their regards.\" the car speakers announced before erupting into a ball of flame." ]	4
	[WP] You're an asshole writing about your day. In your mind nothing you've done is abnormal or immoral.	[ "I have good plans. Maybe the greatest plans. You wouldn’t believe the plans I have.\n\nEvery day I wake up, and I’m thinking. About all these people out there. Bad people, good people. I want to stop the bad people, help the good people. Now the worst people there are out there, they want to hurt the good people, so that’s why I need to stop them. The plans I have to stop them are the best.\n\nAnd I’m going to stop them, with my plans, the best plans that are out there. You don’t even know how good these plans are. It will be amazing when the bad ones are gone. The good people will stay good and the bad people will be gone. They will know that my plans are better than their plans. Then they’re gone.\n\nI have friends that know bad people who hurt good people. Sometimes good people turn into bad people because bad people made them bad. I have plans for those people too, you’ll love my plans. They’re the best plans.\n\nSo this is important, you will love my plans. Remember that. I’m bringing my plans to everyone, everywhere. Bad people and good people. Except there will be no more bad people.\n\nTomorrow I will take these plans, the best plans I have. Once my plans are out there, among the good people, the bad people. Tonight? I tweet.", "Dear Diary,\n\nFucking kids were playing on the road again. So selfish, always spending time having fun to make hard working people like me jealous. Cunts. And then crying when I bumped my car into them. They should've of known not to get in my way. Parents threatening to arrest me because of course they always see their children as flawless and perfect. They didn't understand the hardships their kids caused me. So I killed the dog after they went inside to call the police, show them how I feel. Now I can hear the fucking sirens, and I just wanted a quiet evening to practice my saxophone until 2 am. Guess I'll have to go and explain to those idiot cops what really happened." ]	2
	[WP] In a world that's become overpopulated with superheroes, you are what's known as the 'Superhero Hitman' - for your power is the ability to strip people of their superhuman abilities.	[ "She can astral project and move things with her mind. Day by day she gains more weight, trespassing from overweight into obesity. I strip her of her power. Last time I've seen her, she was running to catch the bus and much thinner than before. \n\nHe's a narcissist who can read minds. Problem is, nobody thinks about him as much as he thought they would. He falls into depression, buys a gun, and scribbles down suicidal thoughts in his journal. I strip him of his power. He's happy again - able to walk around believing that the world revolves around him once more.\n\nHer skin is poisonous. Anyone who touches her skin - even accidentally - will die. She wears gloves, scarves, sweaters, jeans, boots, and a ski - mask year round. I strip her of her power. This weekend she's going to the beach, excited about getting her first tan. \n\nHe has skin as hard as steel, impenetrable, indestructible. He hasn't made love to a woman, since the night six years ago when he lost his virginity. The female had needed surgery and was told she would never be able to bear children for the rest of her life. I strip him of his power. He's happily married now, with baby number 9 on the way. \n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] you live in a world were knowledge is used for currency, you discover something ground breaking potentially making you the richest person on earth.	[ "It happened on accident. I didn't mean for this to happen. But now that it has, it will eventually change my life as well as the lives of everyone else on the planet. If you're reading this then someone has stolen it from me and I am most likely captured or dead. \n\nI'm 22 years old so I don't remember much about it because I was too young. I was browsing youtube and stumbled upon a user called \"rick's_story_arc\". I clicked on it and was redirected to the user's profile. He had zero subscribers and no profile picture. But he did have one video. It was named \"THE SAUCE\".\n\nCuriously I clicked on it and was again redirected, this time to the viewer page. It was locked and had a password. 8 spaces long. Sweat on my brow, I drew on all the knowledge o could and I put the pieces together. The user name (Rick) and the video name (the sauce). And I knew I had the answer. \n\nI typed in the 8 letters and hit enter. SZECHUAN.\n\nThe video unlocked and I saw a grainy late 90's handheld video. The man in the video called himself J.R. He stood there, unblinking and telling the viewer \"this is not a joke, this is a secret that no one must know. This knowledge would make anyone the richest person in the world and that's why it must be locked away\" he then turned the camera around and showed a chalk board with a list on it.\n\nLooking over the list it was easy to see that this was a recipe, but not just any recipe but the recipe for...Mulan's limited time offer Szechuan Sauce from McDonald's.\n\nI took as many pictures as I could of it and closed the window. I knew I had stumbled upon a great secret. And no one can know, not yet. \n\nI'm writing this as a warning. Do not go looking for this video, I have not been able to sleep for 2 days now. And I know that I am being watched. The world is not yet ready for this recipe. \n\nBe careful out there. Knowledge is power but this knowledge has taken my power, taken my peace of mind. \n\nThe Szechuan Sauce recipe must not fall into the wrong hands..." ]	1
	[WP] It is the year 2031. Streaming has entirely dominated the world. DVDs are obsolete, few and far between. Cinemas are dead. Netflix rules over all ... except one town. Within this town sits a beacon of hope - The Last 'Blockbuster'.	[ "Chad looked out his window to the glistening city with a sigh. He knew all of them out there were connected in a way he could never comprehend. For reasons he couldn't or didn't want to understand, he just hadn't made it into the echelon of income that would allow him to join the rest of the human race. He could barely pay rent, never mind afford the insurance to get the chip implanted into his brain.\n\nForgoing the view of the 'big city' across the river, he slipped the worn and outdated VR set over his eyes. The archaic surround-sound system woven into his old-fashioned 360 swivel-chair crackled into being.\n\nHis vision was soon replaced by the 'virtual mall' his membership allowed. Ever since the conversation to 'universal chip standards', the options for people that could only afford VR were diminishing. Most modern shows and movies weren't even designed to be seen through an eye-set. \n\nChad tried to keep his Field of View down as he passed by businesses with desperate hucksters. The guy flipping a \"Cash for Bit-Coins\" sign seemed to stare at him with disdain as he passed, even though Chad knew he was just as poor off as himself if he was relegated to such a job in virtual sales. Chad didn't even bother to let his hunger's imagination wander as he passed by various restaurants. Any slop-shop that was still delivering without Chip systems were never going to be worth the money and agony. Besides, he was just here to get a movie to drone out the boredom. Maybe there'd be a directors cut of a movie he knew he liked if there wasn't something new worth his time.\n\nThat's when he saw a strange glow of blue and yellow. That shop wasn't there the last time he'd been around, Chad thought. He didn't recognize the shape of the logo as anything distinct, but he did know the words said \"Blockbuster\". Since Chad was often a bit relegated to the past, he knew it was a reference to an attraction that had a line wrapping around the street, even if he wasn't sure why he knew that. It seemed especially dated when things like lines no longer existed, but Chad did notice that it was advertising movies. Might as well give it a shot.\n\nChad swiped over the door icon, transitioning into a room lined with titles in a dizzying level of display. Normally he was used to just 'entering' into a menu screen, where he could search by title, genre, or actor. He felt overwhelmed to just see hundreds of titles in seemingly random order splayed along a maze of digital mesh.\n\n\"Why hello there!\" \n\nThe sole other avatar in the store was a man behind an elevated counter. There were an infinite amount of combinations the system could use to make appearances, and yet this guy was clad in an over-sized, starchy blue shirt and sporting an overgrown balding pattern that left Chad just a bit embarrassed for him. His shimmering user-tag just said \"Garth\".\n\n\"Are you a member of our Game Pass program?\" \n\n\"Wh-what?\" Chad asked dazedly, still not entirely sure what he'd just gotten himself into. \n\n\"Oh, you must be new!\" He said with delight, sweeping his hand over the digital room before them. \"Take a look around! You can digitally rent anything you see, as long as there is a at least one code-sleeve behind the icon, of course.\" He didn't quite smile, so much as he leered with a predator's gaze, Chad thought.\n\n\"Oh, okay,\" was all Chad could mumble, not used to such an awkward and unexpected 'physical' encounter with someone. Usually you had to click 'Okay' before speaking to a representative. \"So wait,\" he said, everything just starting to settle into place, \"This is just for rentals?\"\n\n\"Oh no, of course you are free to pre-order any file you wish from us, with only a mere 20 percent convenience fee applied!\" He nodded enthusiastically, gesturing to the bevvy of glowing image icons around them. \"Of course, most people prefer to borrow them from us. For a mere third of what it costs to own the movie forever, we're more than happy to loan it to you. Just make sure to relinquish the code within three days, or you'll be charged an inconvenience fee!\"\n\nChad furrowed his brows in thought. He knew things like the 24-Hour Craigslist shop and things like that were known for shady deals, or the Used Modem dealers were notoriously slimy, but usually digital media was sacrosanct. \n\n\"This sounds like a marked-up service like those 'Lump Credit NOW!' ads you see on the Price is Right Podcast,\" Chad exclaimed, shaking his head. \"Most of the things I see look half a year old. Why would I want to do this?\" Garth recoiled a moment, but only seemed amused by the challenge.\n\n\"Because what other choice do you have? If you could afford a Chip you wouldn't be here. If you were smart enough to evade the Cyber Patrols you wouldn't be here. But you aren't either of those things, are you?\" Garth perched his hands on the edge of the counter to the point it made his knuckles white. \n\n\"A digital era made us a slave; What once was King met it's grave. Though money shifts and markets crash, we return among the ash! When you can't obtain society's luster, go **** yourself and shop Blockbuster!\"\n\nChad only blinked, both literally and digitally under the spell that Garth wove with his shimmering holographic presence. \n\n\"Oh, yeah, that makes sense,\" was all Chad could respond, staring around vaguely. \"...Do you have some sort of discount if I borrow from you in bulk?\"\n\nFingers weaving together, Garth's avatar only smiled.\n\n\"Oh, my child, we are back, and we have such sights to show you.\"", "The locks on his Tesla thunk shut, the motors whirring off almost inaudibly as the car ticks down. The kids outside the corner store throw strange looks in his direction as always. In the beginning, they were surprised, the vapos dropping out of their mouths when they first saw the dusty car pull up. They spoke in hushed tones, wondering how there was still someone who actually drove a car. Talked about how that must be one of the few manually driven cars left in the world. Their surprise had morphed into indifference over time. They knew he was there every Fiveday, the strange old man who drove the car. His shoes clapped along the broken pavement, the faded \"One-Star\" barely visible through the layers of dirt and dust. He ascended the steps of the plaza, and pulled open the old door, stepping into the dimly lit store. The shelves were dusty and mostly empty, a few covered with plastic wrapping. Bernard was standing at the counter, in his same worn-out blue and yellow polo. Felix and Nils were there too, soda-pops in hands, watching another old Christopher Nolan on their Persoscreen. Those two didn't vary much, but I suppose Nolan is a respectable enough vintage. Bernard lifted a hand in greeting to him as he hung his leather jacket on one of the door scanners and made his way to the counter, flipping Bernard a toonie. Nils turned his head from the screen but his eyes remained. \"How's the wife, Cona?\" he asked. \"She's good. Been really into that whole yoga thing lately, how about your husband?\" he played at the lining on the corner of the counter, the adhesive so worn out it was a wonder it was still attached. \"A pain, why do you think I come here to watch in this dusty old buster?\" Nils took a swig of his Pibb and turned back to the movie. \"Fair enough.\" Bernard came back with an ice-cold Loganberry and leaned down on the opposite side of the counter.. \"What'll it be today, Cona? Want me to queue up the usual?\" He asked, fingering through the stack of Sci-Fi DVDs behind the counter. \"Nah, not today Bern. I'm thinking something a bit older...\" \"Oh, so what, Last? Awakens? Rogue is pretty good, if you like something a little different but still from that era.\" His fingers played over the spines of the cases of each movie as he mentioned them, a twinkle in his eye. \"Nah, I'm thinking Empire today.\" A grin found its way onto his face. \"You got it, partner.\" He taps his card on the console and Bernard swings out the Persoscreen, loading up the movie.", "It was barely a memory. A memory of a memory really. That is what started it all. Why she had been willing to abandon her parents and friends.\n\nIt was strange now to think how far gone the world was now. A million channels to tell you what to think and instant access to anything you might want to see, at the speed of thought. \n\nAt first, it was so expensive and bulky. Then, everything got smaller so that having full immersion while streaming had become the fad. It became popular almost overnight.\n\nIt didn't take too much time for humanity to devolve into mindless beasts.\n\nSpouting off random information as fact. Strange tribalism based on the shows they participate in. The stench of death permeated the land so she ran. She looked up finally at the large wall unsure how she would ever scale the monstrosity looming over her. \n\nTo her left she heard rustling and saw a hidden door pop open. She felt frozen as a short, balding man made his way over to her. Was this really it? \n\n\"Why are you here?\"\n\nShe almost flinches at how harsh he sounds but this could be her only shot at not being kidnapped for a reality show.\n\n\"I heard about a store people had before Stream. A place that has been protected from the corruption of digital media. I am in the right place?\"\n\nHe turns back to the door. She feels panic trying to erupt when he turns back he says, \"Welcome to Blockbuster, please remember to rewind.\"\n\n", "\"Day breaks, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no spouse, hold no lands, and have no children. I shall wear no suits and drive no cadillacs. I shall live and die at my post. I am the DVD in the slot. I am the watcher behind the counter. I am the shield that guards the locally sourced film entertainment. I pledge my life and honour to Blockbuster, for this day and all the days to come.\"\n\nAt the head of the assembly, beside the popcorn machine, store manager Chet Glertch raised his fist. \"So we say.\"\n\n\"So we say.\" The employees in blue raised their fists.\n\n\"The past months have not been easy. Those to come will be no easier.\" Chet walked the line. As he passed every employee, he shook their hands and gripped their shoulders. \"It's times like these that we remember Gloria Hudgins.\"\n\n\"Gloria Hudgins,\" the assembly intoned.\n\n\"Who gave her life ripping a satellite dish off the roof of a betrayer's house,\" Chet said. \"And we remember Kenny Phillipopolous.\"\n\n\"Kenny Phillipopolous.\"\n\n\"Crushed while sabotaging those machines that sought to bring so-called 'hi-speed internet' to our fair enclave.\"\n\nA petite brunette spat on the floor. \"INTERNET! SATAN! WIFI!\"\n\n\"I admire your dedication, Julia.\" Chet brought out from behind the store counter an ethernet cable tied into noose. \"Let's not forget that this is what awaits us. In the very moment you lose focus,\" he slipped the noose over his head, \"they get you.\" He pulled the noose tight.\n\n\"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!\" A pimply boy fell to his knees. \"They won't noose me. They won't strangle me with internet cables!\"\n\n\"Your passion protects you, Brayden.\" Chet placed his hand on Brayden's forehead. A single tear from Chet's eye landed on Brayden's cheek. \"Your passion gives me hope, and it protects me, too. On your feet, son.\"\n\nChet handed out jobs for the day. Four employees manned the store, five were on satellite detail, fifteen headed out on perimeter patrol, and a team of hand-picked shmoozers were tasked with building connections within the municipal government.\n\nBefore they left, the employees once again bowed their heads.\n\n\"Blockbuster, for this day and all the days to come.\"" ]	4
	[WP] The year is 2150, there are rumors floating around about a possible scientific discovery that will change the world. You are the head scientist of a field research team sent to find it before anyone else.	[ "We were sent to the farther reaches of the solar system, where the cold ninth planet was discovered a century ago. It is massive and covered in a mysterious black ice. Before this mission, we were only able to send drones to the planet and get small samples sent back to us, this process would take months of course. Transporting even an atom from the distance of one side of the solar system to the other can be cumbersome.\n\nThe planet itself was dark, and dreary looking. The sky was always a dusty grey covered in a sheet of dark clouds. The climate was always at minimum 50 degrees below 0. The storms and freezing hurricanes were so powerful they could freeze a skyscraper solid as it toppled over. It was God's ball of wrath and chaos, that's what some of the other scientist nicknamed it anyway. We've been approaching the orbit of the planet for a couple of weeks now. This cannot be something we rush.\n\nBeing this far away from the sun, the planet doesn't receive enough light to sustain any kind of biological matter. Whatever survives there would have to be unicellular and able to survive in sub-zero temperatures. We sent a scouting crew to the planet's surface to investigate before the main arrival. Standard procedure. We have done the exact same process with Mars and a few other planets. The gravity is slightly stronger than Earth, so everyone that goes down has to where a suit that weighs nearly a metric ton to counteract any effects. We just got our first transmission last month.\n\n\"Good morning, Hades 3, this is Cerberus Scout. I guess by the time you get this it'll be more along the lines of night. Just reporting in, no signs of anything unexpected. The planets surface is really damn cold. It makes Antarctica look like a ice cream joint. Not much is happening as of late. All crew member are healthy and working at optimum efficiency. We've taken a couple samples of the minerals and whatever else wasn't black ice. The atmosphere is mostly carbon-dioxide, nitrogen and hydrogen compounds. Oxygen is in the atmosphere, there's just not enough for you to actually breathe any of it. And you would probably suffocate on the carbon dioxide before you got the chance. Other than that, everything is as it should be down here. Before I finish, Garretson says he saw some symmetrical mountain along the horizon. Obviously we can't investigate today, but tomorrow we'll move home base to get a closer look at it. Signing off.\"\n\nThe next few days we received multiple messages, mostly audio of what the mountain was. It didn't appear to be natural, meaning if it was made by nature the chances are very low, in the millionths of decimal places. The chemical structure was unlike the rest of the surface as well. There were higher concentrations of metals on the exterior of the mountain, not by much but there was still a significant difference, enough to be noticed.\n\nThe mountain became was their primary investigation, and it will be ours as well when we get there. Yesterday we received a message, a video message. Usually, these are only sent in case of something of extraordinary importance. In this case I can vouch that it was important.\n\n\"Hades 3, this is Cerberus Scout, we found something here. Not made by the nature of the planet, something artificial. Made by SOMETHING. While we were investigating the western mountain side, away from the constant wind, we found an opening. Upon further inspection we found tunnels, an entire system. Either burrowed or excavated, I don't know, but it is way to intricate for it to be naturally formed. There are levels upon levels within the mountain, passageways, corridors and a central cavern in the core of the mountain. We've only seen pictures of what Ferris' scouting bug has taken, but it looks incredible. It must be the size of a cathedral. We've only been able to map out the tunnel system however. We've only been able to explore about 13% of it, due to its extensive size. We are sending in a team tomorrow to see what's what in the center of the mountain. Hopefully we'll get some answers. We look forward to seeing you all in a couple of weeks. Singing off.\"\n\nAll of the crew on Hades 3 have been buzzing like hyperactive bees about the discovery. Until now, no other planet has been able to hold multicellular life. Mars had prokaryotic bacteria, but that was roughly all there was. For it to be even remotely possible to document something like this would be phenomenal. It would blow away the scientific community on Earth. Even if all we found was remains or skeletons of what was left, it would be the discovery of the century, maybe even the millennia.\n\nWe've actually been delayed from landing, however. Something has come up. We received a message, just text, no audio or video. It says it was from Ferris, the team member who mapped out the tunnel system. The captain has been puzzled for the past few hours as have the rest of the crew, us scientists included. The message only had one word on it, Tartarus, which was the deepest and most evil part of Hell in Greek mythology. We don't know if it's code for help or to flee or any other possible meaning. Everyone on the ship is divided as to what action should be taken. The scientists say we should investigate, the engineers say we should send for help and the captain doesn't have a goddamn clue. So we wait, I wait for what course of action we will take. The captain sounds like he will go forward and send an S.O.S. beacon before we descend, hopefully we'll figure out what the hell is going on and soon. It's time for humanity to discover its solar system neighbor." ]	1
	[WP] Your eyes open, and the crowds roar is deafening. Your two hands are on the ground and feet on the starting block, you look up and around you, Usain Bolt is to your left. It's the Olympics 100m final. You have no idea how you got there.	[ "'What the hell?' I thought, my black Nike sneakers planted firmly on the terrain. My hands are shoulder width apart a few inches above my feet. I hear screams that come through as muffled at first. Then I look to each of my sides.\n\nTo the right of me is the crowd, plastering every single innard of the stadium. And a runner from The Netherlands turned her head towards me, smirking in a friendly but competitive way. \"On your mark!\" the announcer said.\n\nI snapped my head to the left, and I couldn't believe my eyes. The 100m champion, Usain Bolt, was crouched to my left, his uniform screaming with the bright yellow, green, and black colors that match his home country, Jamaica's, flag.\n\n\"Get set!\" the announcer's voice boomed once more. We moved from the crouching position to ready to leap up onto our feet to run. I'm still confused as shit as to how I ended up here, but I feel it was for a reason. The sound of a gun firing was our signal to move.\n\nRunning like the wind, I quickly was neck and neck with Usain. The Dutch runner was lagging behind plenty of other countries, according to the statements made over the speakers.\n\nMy breath shortening, I was a few feet in front of Usain, about to cross the finish line for the 100m dash. As I see the white ribbon in front of me, I run through it, Mr. Bolt only a few seconds behind. I started to breathe heavily, my hands on my knees, as I felt myself losing my balance, somehow ending up on the ground like I did when I ended up at these Olympic Games." ]	1
	[WP] He had no arms or legs, he couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.	[ "Unfortunately it took the death and subsequent dissection of the first Uhrkan receiver for humanity to plunge into the Age of Xynve. The world's top scientists had worked day and night trying to discover more. \n\nWhen these cells were added to mice, they appeared to be able to communicate with one another regardless of proximity, whether or not they were raised in seclusion, and in spite of severely debilitating disability. Some had shown the ability to also effect the world around them via what looked like telekinesis. Those privy to this information in the scientific world were astounded and a few of them leaked the information, thinking it wrong to hide this from the rest of humanity.\n\nDuring this time, a dark hole appeared on the far side of the world, near Australia. It began to swallow more every day. Land, animals, homes, water... Whatever hit the anomaly became unreachable. The nearby evacuation caused global turmoil, and rampant fear. \n\nTheories abounded, nations fought, and finally one small group of scientists received their government's secret approval to add the previously unknown sensory receptors of the Uhrkan to a human being. The nature of his existence was already as extreme as it got and heavily controversial on its own. Although he had a fully functional human brain, he'd also been connected with technology to the point that he could only be considered cyborg.\n\nWhen the new sensory cells were integrated with his system, he immediately reached out to satellites, bypassed the security systems and alerted the entire internet connected world as to the whole situation. He also began the most intense description of an entirely new sensory experience as the world fell into blackness. \n\nHe had no arms or legs, he couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation. With a herculean task similar to a sighted person explaining the color red to him, he found a way. He explained the qualia of Xynve using everything from computer generated imagery to mathematical dialogues. He had the attention of the best minds on the planet, who worked tirelessly to explain it to the rest.\n\nHe communicated to us that it was imperative we all change, as our world was changing and it was time to adapt or die. The first Uhrkan receiver had been meant to warn us of this ahead of time, but it had been killed too quickly. There was still time, but it was quickly running out. Those countries that were still outside the ever expanding blackness united into one.\n\nThe whole of humanity from the least to the greatest began the intensive process of learning to shut out all of their previously important senses and focusing on their newly acquired scientifically altered sense. Sensory deprivation tanks and mediation became more important than food. If there had been more time, this step would have been unnecessary, but the mind made connections must faster when the senses were deprived. \n\nWhen the finality of the blackness was closing in, he'd reached out to each of us in a way we'd never previously experienced and as a species, we opened our collective sensory receptor. The brief moment of pain was followed by an intensiveness the closest comparison that could be made would be that of falling rapidly into space and exploding into a million pieces, only to come together again.\n\nThe Uhrkan were waiting for us, like proud parents holding their beloved infant for the first time. The Age of Xynve had begun.\n", "Ever since I was a young boy \nTo rule them was my call. \nFrom Sudan down to Benin \nI must have tried them all, \nBut I ain't seen nothing like him \nIn any tyrant's hall \nThat deaf dumb and blind kid \nMakes everyone his thrall \n\nThey've built for him a statue, \nHe's part of the machine \nFeeling out the traitors \nAlways kills 'em clean \nMakes laws by intuition, \nThe resistance fighters fall \nThat deaf dumb and blind kid \nMakes everyone his thrall \n\nHe's a Junta wizard \nYou must say he's for real \nA Junta wizard, \nOr else he'll have you killed! \n\nWhy do you think he does it? I don't know! \nWhat makes him so cruel? \n\nHe ain't got no distractions \nCan't hear any rebel, \nDon't see U.N sanctions, \nLand's a living hell, \nAlways gets a elected \nNever seen him fall \nThat deaf dumb and blind kid \nMakes everyone his thrall \n\nI thought I was \nThe last of the true kings, \nBut I just handed \nMy actual crown to him \n\nEven on the battlefield, \nHe can beat my best \nHe leads them all in \nHis disciples do the rest \nHe's a crazy flipping tinpot, \nBut he'll never fall \nThat deaf dumb and blind kid \nMakes everyone his thrall " ]	2
	[WP] "What the hell is a wizard doing on a space station?"	[ "\"Well you see where I'm coming from. Dont you Vader?\" Voldemort rattled, ignoring Darth Vaders question.\n\n\"Your offer is impressive. However, you haven't answered my question. What is a wizard, and how did you get in here?\" Darth Vader announced, in a threatening yet monotone voice.\n\n\"A wizard is someone who possess magic, and can harness it. I was able to get in here, because I'm a wizard who has harnessed a great deal of magic\". Voldemort began to smirk as he finished speaking.\n\n\"Tell me Wizard, what do you know of the force?\" Vader brought his right arm up, performing a hand motion as if he were choking the air.\n\nEyes widened and unable to breathe, Voldemort reached for his wand, grabbing it in a swift motion. Vader stopped.\n\n\"Is that a stick?\" Vader sounded baffled, even through his ventilator.\n\n\"Avada Kedavra\" the words were sharp and decisive. The spell hit Vader hard in the arm, making him stagger.\n\n\"Your stick just caused a great deal of damage to my robotic arm!\" Vader exasperated, sounding offended. Vader regained his balanced and ignited his red light sabre.\n\n\"That looks cool.\" Voldemort said, sounding intrigued.\n\n\"I know\" Vader responded as he struck Voldemort in the chest. Killing him instantly.\n\n\"He did not know the power of the force\" Vader recited as he was stolled out to get brunch down the hall.\n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Someone finally proves that the afterlife exists and it is just one "place" where everyone ends up, no matter how good or bad you were in life. There is no Heaven or Hell and whatever we do in life appears to have no consequences in the afterlife.	[ "I remember I saw the original announcement on television in my living room. A hundred thoughts rushed through my head at once as I attempted to sort out the implications of what I had just heard. What would this mean for me? What would it mean for the world?\n\nIt didn't take long for suicides and homicides to skyrocket. The reason for that being that our actions don't have consequences, and if you missed a deceased loved one you could choose to see them again within moments. It was an eerie ability that had become universal. I thought about it some. Partially out of curiosity and partially out of loneliness, but the action of physically killing myself kept me away from the idea.\n\nOf course it didn't take very long for cults to start popping up. After a couple months it seemed like you'd hear of a local group suicide every other week. \n\nIt feels wrong to say, but for a time I thought things had changed for the better. Hell, most people did. Homelessness and unemployment were at an all time low, religious wars tapered off, and people in general became more optimistic. As far as we were concerned, we would never have to permanently lose someone again. After about a decade things seemed pretty great for the whole human family.\n\nBut then the truth started leaking out. First one whistle blower announced he had overseen the project to fabricate evidence of an afterlife. He was quickly delegitimized and never heard from again, but it was too late. Soon after the first whistle blower's announcement came out, several more followed in suit. Eventually there was conclusive evidence that several nations had worked together to create this falsehood in the hopes of decreasing population size. Can't say it didn't work.\n\nIt's been twenty years since the original announcement and things aren't very different from the years before it, only our human family is about 30% smaller.\n", "‘….so in conclusion, Professor, you conclude that there is no salvation when we die? No Purgatory? No Hell?’\n\n‘Correct. The books prove it. And if only we had found them 2,000 years ago, we might have saved mankind a lot of grief.’\n\n‘Thank you. That was Professor Janice Yaffle, head of comparative religious studies at Harvard, discussing the ancient scrolls discovered in Mexico last year. And now over to Mike with the sports. Are you still backing the Hawks tonight, Mike?’\n\n——————————————————————————————\n\nThe Vatican was not a good place to be right now.\n\n‘Fuck it!’\n\nBoth Cardinals sat in front of the Holy Father, heads bowed, staring at their shoes.\n\n“FUCK IT!! FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT……AND FUCK YOU TWO!!’ He pointed at the pair, his hand shaking with rage. ‘You told me,’ he struggled for words. ‘You told me when I took this fucking job that this was taken care of!’ The Pope turned and kicked out at a chair. It rocked to a precarious angle, and the cushion flew off towards the door.\n\n‘Holy Father, I did say….’ began Cardinal Thomas.\n\n‘DO. NOT. INTERRUPT. ME.’ \n\nThomas became quiet.\n\nThe Pope’s voice lowered, rumbled, became somehow more threatening than before. ‘You pair of worthless cunt-buckets told me, right at the start, that this had been buried forever. Gone. Vanished. Two thousand years of technology, and you cannot manage to burn paper. You are a goddam shambles.’\n\nCardinal Ledsom went to say something, but catching the lightning in his boss’s eye, decided to remain silent.\n\n‘I tell you now - heads will fucking roll for this. Literally. I’ve had Ayatollahs and Imam’s on the bloody phone to me all morning. And those soldiers - well, they ain’t happy.’ Pope Ryan turned away, looking for another object to assault.\n\n‘I have a meeting with the accountants in an hour. They are going to tell me exactly how much this shit-show will cost us. And you can be sure,’ he turned back to the Cardinals, ‘that this - problem - will be reflected in both your pay packets. ‘Don’t be booking any opera tickets, boys.’\n\nRyan plonked his butt down on the edge of his desk and crossed his feet. ‘So, how do we fix this?’\n\n‘W..w..well, sir,’ stammered Ledsom, ‘We need to undermine this whole…incident. We need to establish the moral high ground.’\n\nRyan snorted derisively. ‘Moral high ground! After what we - no, you - have been up to for hundreds of years? No choir boy safe unless wearing triple underwear. Jesus Christ….’\n\n‘Ah, Father, we need to go after the source,’ Thomas said, glancing pensively at Ledsom for support. ‘We need to undermine their credibility.’\n\n‘Yes sir,’ chimed Ledsom, warming to the task. ‘We need to cast doubt, spread aspersions, confuse and obfuscate. We need to put so much contradictory information out there, that the whole basis of their claims is buried under a swamp of shit.’\n\nRyan bit his thumb in contemplation. ‘And how do you propose to do that, pray tell?’\n\n‘We have just the man, Your Holiness,’ said Ledsom, handing the Pope his iPhone. Brought up on speed-dial, already ringing, was ‘The Whitehouse’." ]	2
	[WP] While browsing Craigslist, you find a listing for an invisibility cloak. The picture is of an empty box with the caption 'More trouble than it's worth, FREE'. The box arrives with a small note - 'good luck'. You are surprised to find that it really does contain an invisibility cloak.	[ "As I put the cloak on, I saw something. Short, quick flashes of a giant... eye. An eye made of fire that seemed to be trying to stare into my soul, but couldn't. The eye was just... off kilter, maybe it needed glasses. As soon as I had thought to suggest so, the visions stopped. I was left standing, off balanced, in my room. I fell to the ground, bringing my admiring-mirror down with me. As I stood it back up, I noticed something. My face was gone! In its stead was a much uglier mass of air that hadn't a scrap of respect for the art of self-adoration. In fact, the ugly mass had replaced my entire body, the only parts I had left were my hands!\n\n\"Normally, I would want to return my body back to its rightful place, but it would be a crime to return those hideous arms to you.\" I said to my hands. \"They've always been holding you back.\" With that, I nodded, content with my decision to never take the cloak off again.\n\nJust then, I heard a knock at my door. I quickly washed my hands with the coconut scented soap I had kept for such an occasion. I wanted my new self to be at its best for our first company. I opened the door and before I could say anything, a wave of ugly knocked the air out of me. Before me, stood the most repugnant little man that I had ever seen. He was small, hardly anything more than bones, wrinkled, hairless, save for a few long strands, stood with horrible posture, and smelled like sewage. The tiny suit he wore did nothing to help him, its well designed nature merely accentuated his flaws.\n\n\"I need to have a word with you.\" he said, in a surprisingly soothing baritone. \"I initially felt the note would be enough, but the fate of the world depends on this.\" He pushed past me and walked into my home. \"I see you are wearing the Precious. Have you seen the Lazy Eye?\"\n\n\"Get out of my house you ugly beast!\" I mouthed, not realizing that my breath had yet to return.\n\n\"Good question. The Lazy Eye is a monster, an amalgamation of evil. He looks over Mauron's empire, and sees any who dare to wear the Cloaks. This is why I've come. Seeing as you are wearing the Precious now, Mauron's men are undoubtedly on their way.\"\n\n\"Get out of my house!\" I yelled, air finally in my lungs.\n\n\"Not until you take off the Precious.\"\n\n\"What? N- no! It's my house, get out!\"\n\n\"I don't think you understand. The Mauronic are on their way to kill you. They will do anything to get the Precious back.\"\n\n\"What is the 'Precious'?\" I asked, half gagging on his stench.\n\n\"The Cloak that you are wearing. It is one of four, the One to Rule Them, Mostly. It's sort of a co-ownership kind of thing. It's technically the most powerful, but the one that grants flight is pretty powerful too, and it was just easier to say that they both rule them all.\"\n\n\"I just realized that I don't care. I'm keeping my robe and you need to leave.\"\n\n\"I know that the feeling of power that the Precious grants you is incredible, but you must give it up. If Mauron gets the Cloak, he can use it to do unimaginable things. He'll have the power to take over the world!\"\n\n\"Yeah, how would that happen?\"\n\n\"He would use it to assassinate all world leaders and escape without being seen! No one would be able to find him, he would be unstoppable!\"\n\n\"What about heat-vision goggles?\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"It just makes him invisible, right? Well, why can't they just use heat-vision to see him?\"\n\n\"I- I mean... I'd imagine-\"\n\n\"Yeah, imagine. Ya don't know. So, why don't you get outta my house and come back when you have some proof that that wouldn't work.\"\n\nThe man stuttered, a bit dumbfounded, and then leaped at me, screeching like a banshee and grabbing for my robe. I ran for my 12 Guage and shot him several times. When the cops came, I hid my beautiful hands out of sight under the carpet." ]	1
	[WP] You piss off the god of dramatic irony.	[ "Triggered, that's how I felt. How does he dare? How does a weak mortal have the guts to piss me off? \nI the god who has been erased from their memories. Making such a daft reddit post, besludging my name? Oh but I'll show him, the tiny bastard! \nI'm angered by the little shit as i walk towards the end of my cloud looking for the speck of dust that disturbed my slumber. As he slowly comes into view i grab the zipper of my pants...\n\nA little earlier this happened on earth... \n\n\"... Of dramatic irony\" i type. And send! 'there,' i say to my friend. 'Let's see what they'll comment on this one.' i look at my friend, he doesn't seem to be amused by my reddit post. 'what?' i ask him, commenting on his nervous expression. 'nothing,' he says' i'm just superstitious, ' he says,' 'i mean if you jinx this you might feel horrible for the rest of your life! what if you' ve just pissed off a real god?'. \n'you sure are crazy,' i say as i check if the ring is still in my pocket. I take it out and it falls! Shit! \nLuckily i can grab it just before it tumbles into the street sewer system. I smile at my friend 'see? No jinx'. I straighten the sleeves of my versace coat and step into the limousine which will drive me to my girlfriend's house. Today is the day! \nWe drive up to the house and i order the driver to stop. I open the door and can just barely stop myself from stepping into a pile of horseshit. I sigh as i order the driver to drive a few meters further. As i step out i try to walk as slowly and silently as i can to the house. Suddenly the limo honks, forgot my guitar! Damn it! I hope i didn't wake her. Maybe i am jinxed?\nI walk up to the house and stop just under her balcony, i throw a little pebble at her window. No reaction. Another pebble. No reaction. I decide to throw a bigger stone but it just comes surging back. I duck and the stone barely misses me. She woke up! She opens the door as i start singing the love song from Pippin; the broadway musical. \nShe smiles and starts crying when i show her the ring. \n'oh Urina, my dear Urina, will you be my wife? And please answer quickly 'cause i' m almost pissing myself fearing you'll say no'\n'oh you pissboy!' she happily shouts, 'unless the gods oppose of course i will marry you! Only a sign of the gods can stop me from saying yes' \n\nThe god grins devilishly as he takes his Johnson in his hands, he aims and relieves himself from his holy waters, completely soaking the poor boy in piss. \nThe girl is grossed out and says 'well... That'll do as a sign of the gods. I guess it is a no. Farewell Pisser, i' m breaking up with you! '\nThe boy is flabbergasted as he falls to his knees.' WHY??' he cries. \n'because!' the god's voice booms, 'when you piss off a god, you will be pissed on, by a god. Think before you offend someone on reddit!' the god says as he disappears, zipping his flie up again. \n" ]	1
	[WP] You've wondered why your partner has been acting unusual for a short while, but they just tipped their hand without realizing it: they are clearly possessed by the spirit of your late pet.	[ "I was walking home from work. I had turned off my phone, like I usually do, so I could think about the awfulness of life. That comforted me. Solitude, walking, and the knowledge that when I got home, my girlfriend would be there, waiting for me, looking pretty, but eager.\n\nAfter the first year, we had bought a parrot. We named him Ted.\n\n\"He looks like a Ted,\" said Lisa, as she finished her Snickers bar.\n\n\"What does a Ted look like?\" I asked.\n\n\"Like this parrot,\" said Lisa.\n\nWe had created an entire fictional world for Ted. His family was from Greece. His Great-Grandfather, Polyxenes, had fought in the war of independence, and was credited with having killed several of the Turks. Lisa used to feed him scrambled eggs and baby talk him.\n\n\"Wittle birdy wanna eggy weggy?\"\n\n\"Don't you think there's something wrong with feeding a bird eggs?\"\n\n\"Rob, don't be so morbid.\"\n\n\"I'm just saying.\"\n\n\"Caw,\" cried Ted.\n\nTed was annoying all around. He would get on your shoulder and assault your ear. He was tempermental in the morning. He constantly shit on my desk. Lisa found it cute. \"Ted just shit on your desk again,\" said Lisa, as her applied her eyeshadow and giggled.\n\nSo when Ted disappeared one day, and I claimed it was because I had left the window open by accident, Lisa wasn't having any of it. \"You know, I can destroy something you love too and lie about it,\" she would say. She took to drinking in the afternoons and sending sexts from work to her friends.\n\n**\n\n\"You're home early,\" said Lisa. \n\n\"I decided to take the afternoon off.\"\n\n\"Did you get fired?\" \n\n\"What? Er No, why would you say that?\"\n\n\"Because you're home early.\"\n\nLisa went into the bedroom. I sat down, and read the news online.\n\n\"North Korea is threatening to invade France and rename it France Jong-Un,\" I announced.\n\nThere was no response. Lisa was always quick with her banter. Hmm.\n\n\"Obama is being accused by Trump of wiretapping a litter of newporn puppies,\" I said.\"\n\nStill no response. \n\nThen I heard a caw, and everything went black.\n\n**\n\nThat afternoon, Lisa, after having a snack of birdseed, and pecking at her mirror, took the remains of her boyfriend Rob and put them in the bathtub. She spent the next several days dismembering the body, and grinding it into a paste of meat and bone. \n\nShe had been in contact with a local farm. Posing as an agriculture student, she paid them a visit. \n\n\"I have some great chicken snacks, Mr. Paul. All organic too.\" \n\n\"Already got me some chicken feed little lady,\" said Mr. Paul, as he chewed on a sprig of alfalfa. \n\nThat evening, after convincing the Paul family to spare the life of one particularly cute hen, Lisa retired for the evening with a glass of wine and the television.\n\n\"Isn't there something morbid about feeding your ex boyfriend to your new pet chicken?\" she asked, aloud, and cawed.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[wp] 20 years after your abortion, a man walks up to you and says he's your son.	[ "When I was younger, I spent my first million dollar paycheck on liquor, a broad, and an abortion.\n\nTwenty years later, I was sitting in a stripper bar talking to my aborted son.\n\nBetween us were drinks and a picture of his mother that I still hadn't touched.\n\n\"She didn't abort me,\" he said, looking and sounding excited. \"She told me that she never told you, so I don't blame you for never coming to visit me...Dad.\"\n\nHe said that last word as if he had been waiting to say it to me for his whole life. It was like a sense of relief had washed through him when he had said it.\n\n\"How much do you want?\" I asked.\n\nHis brow furrowed in confusion. \"Want?\"\n\n\"Yeah. How much do you want to go away and to keep your mouth shut about this whole thing?\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"I don't...I don't understand...\"\n\n\"Look, kid. It's real simple. If you've been reading the papers about me, I have a lot going on. I'm going places. Obviously you're here for my money. So I'm asking you, how much do you want to go away and to stay away from the media? Name your price, I have a meeting in ten minutes.\"\n\nI pulled out my checkbook, and clicked my pen over a blank page.\n\n\"No,\" he said to me, pushing away from the table. \"It's alright. Keep your money. I just wanted to see who you were for myself. You don't have to worry about me going to the media, either. I wish you the best.\"\n\nHe doffed his cap, then turned on his heel and strode out. \n\nAnd that's when the nightmare begins.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] "Take what need. I won't tell."	[ "“Take what need,” the Tree said. “I won’t tell.”\n\t\nThe boy stood there, jaw hanging. His skin was rubbery with gooseflesh, and every time he tried to talk, his tongue slapped his cheeks like a wet noodle. \n\t\nAfter all, the Sacred Tree was a legend. It shouldn't have been speaking to a lowly son of a blacksmith like him. The thing had seen the beginning of the world, had been birthed by God himself, and had even given out quests to great heroes like Marcus the Brave and Julius the Triumphant.\n\t\t\n“I-I-I,” he stuttered, struggling to say something. Finally, after taking a deep breath, he simply stated: “I’m lost.”\n\t\n“You’ve been found,” the Tree replied. “Hold hand out. Clear mind. Take what need.”\n\t\nThough still thoroughly confused, he did as told, letting his hand hang aimlessly in the air as he flushed everything out his mind. He stood there, eyes closed, heart still, not a breath escaping his lips.\n\t\nThen, he felt it.\n\t\nSomething appeared in his hands.\n\t\nIt was cold and metal and had a curved handle with ridges that his skin sunk between. He knew at once it was a blade, and when he opened his eyes, he was sure it was the finest he’d ever seen.\n\t\n“That your blade,” the Tree said. “Don’t speak. It is nameless now. You will change that. You will complete your quest.”\n\t\nThough he knew better than to disobey the Tree, he couldn’t stop himself. “Quest?”\n\t\n“Go.”\n\t\nThose were the Sacred Tree’s last words, and though the boy was still puzzled, he nodded, sheathed the sword, and walked off. He didn’t know how he was going to explain it to his father, and honestly, he didn’t know what he was going to do with the thing.\n\t\nBut he had been given a destiny, and though it wasn’t clear yet, everything was about to change. At that moment, his life was clean. He had no enemies, no goals for revenge, and his biggest problem was how he was going to make his people proud.\n\t\nTomorrow would be the day where he set out. The day where he dug himself free of the smoldering ruins of his town, ran past the deadened Sacred Tree--a sad sight that signaled the end of the world--and began his quest.\n\t\nThe day where he stopped being the boy, and rather the hero.\n***\nIf you like this story, check out my sub! r/longhandwriter" ]	1
	[WP] Your potential relationship with someone is marked by an aura around their body that only you can see. After decades of dark cloudy auras, violently red auras and mustard yellow auras, you're confronted by someone with the most brilliant aura you've ever seen.	[ "Andrew was a natural optimist, but time had turned him into what he almost jokingly called a ‘realist’. Deeper in his heart where he knew the truth, the had to admit he had become a grumpy pessimist expecting the worst out of people. That isn’t to say he had done poorly. Andrew was, in fact, quite wealthy.\n\nAndrew squinted as the late afternoon sun cut through the gap at the side of his shades. He casually keyed the lock dongle for his Veyron and started across the crowded bank parking lot. Under his arm, a heavy bag of valuables flopped with a weight like a wet towel. The bag was full of mostly gold but a few old diamond rings and a lot of dirty, well-circulated cash.\n\nAndrew was very good at his job as a… recycler… of personal property. Something like a cross between a pawnshop owner and an asset liquidator, he had leveraged his own rather unusual ability to read people’s auras in order to choose his targets. The greedy narcissists were the easiest to be sure. They always stole, borrowed or otherwise acquired the valuables of people who trusted them, and they were always suckers to take the quick cash provided it came with a little flattery.\n\nHis success, and his talent, had led him into what many would call a charmed life. Lots of money and no small amount of success with women. Generally speaking, they threw themselves at him anyhow because of his money. Unlike most men, he didn’t have any trouble avoiding the gold diggers either. Their avarice made their aura obvious. The spoiled rich girls were also obvious. He didn’t really feel much guilt for dumping them after he got what he wanted. In many ways, he saw it as a social business transaction in which he got the upper hand. Mostly.\n\nHe couldn’t deny he was lonely, however. Most of us can delude ourselves that people aren’t really that bad. Andrew could not. It was everywhere he looked. Even now as Andrew looked up he could see it everywhere. Pride, envy, lechery… the dirty self-absorbed auras roiled above the heads of the people around him like thunderclouds of dirty oil paint.\n\nSlowly it dawned on Andrew that there was a sharp blue strobing off the walls of the bank and chrome of the cars around him. He looked around just in time to see multiple police cruisers converging on the bank from all sides. Their sirens were off, making the screeching of tires disconcerting among the otherwise normal sounds of traffic. Several other bank patrons had stopped in the parking lot around him, everyone intent on watching the unexpected drama.\n\nWithout warning or expectation, the loud bell of an alarm cut through the air like a knife. It sounded like one of those old-style alarm clocks on meth. With an ear-splitting crack the glass on the front door of the bank burst out into the parking lot, scattering light from the afternoon sun like droplets from a fountain. Four people, all dressed in black with ski masks, came through the shattered door to finish out the almost too cliché scene.\n\nDoors popped open from the police cars and a loudspeaker demanded the surrender of the criminals. Andrew was already in a kind of bemused shock even before he realized he was seeing two things he’d never expected to see in person.\n\nThere above the head of one of the bank robbers was a vibrant aura. It shimmered with colors of purple, gold and that shiny green color like you sometimes see in the northern lights. He knew nothing of the person behind the black ski mask. He couldn’t even tell if it was a woman or a man. All he knew is that for the first time in his life he was looking at an exceptional human being… and they were about to go to prison for a very long time.\n\nIn that moment he felt the weight of vanity. He was rich, popular, and so very alone. He had everything most people wanted, and he wanted only to find someone to complete him. Many thousands of times he had wished he hadn’t been gifted to read people so that he could find even the transient happiness of self-delusion afforded to others. Here, however, in front of him, was everything his heart had ever desired… and it was about to be forever beyond his grasp.\n\nNo! He silently raged against fate in his mind. This would not happen. Without really thinking it through, Andrew reached down and unzipped the heavy bag in his arms. With an underhanded flip he scattered the gold, cash and diamond rings into the air. The cash didn’t go far, but the gold did. It sailed out into the middle of the crowd of onlookers and police. The cash made a small cloud of green a few feet from him, drawing the attention of others in the parking lot.\n\nAndrew didn’t wait to see the reactions of others… he knew it wouldn’t take long for people to start trying to surreptitiously (or blatantly) start trying to scoop up some of the unexpected loot. He was already sprinting for his car. With a mash of a button on his key dongle the 16-cylinder engine roared to life and the doors unlocked. Andrew dove behind the wheel and slammed the car into drive, letting inertia close the door. The parking lot was bounded by a very low curb and sidewalk, but even so the undercarriage scrapped loudly as the car surged over the sidewalk and into the mall outlet beside the bank. Angry drivers honked loudly as he forced his way through the afternoon traffic and turned back towards the mall.\n\nYanking the parking break hard, Andrew drifted the car around the sharp corner of the mall entrance, narrowly slotting his car behind a minivan in the process of turning into the outbound traffic and through the gap between it and the next car that slammed on the breaks to avoid the insane rich guy tearing through the busy intersection. In a move any rally car driver would approve of Andrew finished out the drift and shot straight through an empty parking spot to launch the car up on the sidewalk in front of the bank. Already police were converging around the four criminals who were now on their knees with their hands on their heads.\n\nThe police obviously knew something was wrong, but nobody expects a multi-million-dollar car as a getaway vehicle so it hadn’t quite registered on them that this crazy rich guy throwing money was involved in the heist. It hadn’t really registered on Andrew yet either. Police officers started diving left and right as the green and black sports car charged towards them, its oversized engine roaring a deep-throated challenge. From the patrol cars, the popping sounds of weapons discharging came over the sound of the engine but Andrew was committed. The shooting was quickly interrupted by cursing as several civilians got in the line of fire forcing the police to stop firing. The glitter of gold and diamond was just too much for some people to resist.\n\nAndrew knew he had only seconds, and the sports car only had room for one. He slewed the car to slide parallel to the crooks, who had all started diving away from the vehicle in a panic. Andrew grabbed his self-defense tazer from the glove box one his way across the front seats, throwing open the passenger door. Without a moment’s hesitation he shot the person he was after. He simply didn’t have time to explain anything and couldn’t afford a fight. He/she thrashed momentarily and then slumped. Crawling from the open passenger door Andrew made a grab and caught a nylon harness or strap or something on the bandit. Andrew was fit, but even so it took everything he had to drag the body into the car and wrestle the legs out of the way of the door. Already the police were recovering and surging towards the car.\n\nAndrew shoved himself back over the gear shift and slammed the car into drive. With a squeal and a roar the car surged away from the bank. Several of the people still trying to find loose cash in the parking lot had to scramble and dive out of his way as he slewed the car through the lot and headed for the low mound of grass separating the parking lot from the highway.\n\nSod and grass flew everywhere as the car plowed a small furrow before it left the ground entirely on its way across the median. Fishtailng dangerously, Andrew managed to get the car centered on the highway and managed not to hit any other vehicles. With a roar he let the car have its head and within moments the car was headed away from the mall at an insane speed.\n\nHis heart thundering in his chest, Andrew turned to check on his passenger. There, inches from his nose, was the gaping barrel of a Colt 1911. It would have been more frightening if the person behind the gun wasn’t clearly scarred shitless to use it. The eyes… those brilliant green eyes, were wide and kept flicking from him to the road ahead in terror. He understood. It’s not often you get kidnapped while getting arrested for bank robbery. Boy was this going to take some explaining.\n", "\n“There’s no one out there for me Dave. There’ll never be.”\n\nPeter sat on the couch. Drinking instant coffee from his favourite mug with an ironic picture of a cat on it. He was watching reruns of M.A.SH. but not really paying attention. Dave was on the armchair, trying to solve a crossword he found in last years That’s Life magazine. The kind you find at airports.\n\n“Oh come on Peter. Of course there is. As they always say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. You know, if global warming hasn’t killed them all yet. But that’s besides the point. There’s got to be a special someone out there for you.”\n\n“I don't think there is. Ever since Tinder did the whole ‘Glowing aura thingy based on your relationship potential’ I’ve been doing terrible with the ladies. All I ever get is a dark red, auburn and some disgusting mustardy yellow. What is auburn anyway? Is it red is it brown? It doesn't know what it wants to be.”\n\n“Look mate” said Dave, still focused on trying to solve for ‘A word that both ryhmes with, and describes a banker.’ “You’re a handsome enough guy, you got a sense of style, nice blue eyes. You can even crack a joke every now and then. I’m sure you can find the girl of your dreams out there, and once you do, it’ll be worth the wait.”\n\nPeter turned off the T.V. and took a sip of his coffee. “That’s easy for you to say. You've got Susy. I’m telling you, there’s nobody there. It’s never going to happen.”\n\nHe put down his coffee and stood up. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll see you in an hour or so.”\n\nAs he walked down the main street, Peter looked around him, searching for a brightly coloured aura. At this point, even a bright orange would do. But to no avail, all he saw was a sea of browny reds. Then, a glimmer caught his eye, in the window of a nearby toy store. As he walked over it got brighter and brighter. This was the most brilliant aura he had ever seen. Was his soul mate waiting inside the Toys \"R\" Us? As he walked over he stood in front of the glass. Searching for who it might be. Then he saw his own reflection, shining as bright a glow as there ever was. Peter stared for a moment. Looking himself in the eyes, his reflection was glowing with a bright white shining aura.\n\n“Well I guess that’s it” Peter said to himself. “I guess I really am forever alone.”" ]	2
	[WP] You are the family monster, who hides in the youngest child's closet due to crippling low self-esteem. One night you hear a knock on your door and a squeaky voice says, 'It's me, Mr Monster. Don't worry, I still believe in you.'	[ "\"Only cowards hide, monster. Nobody is afraid of you, but you are afraid of me, aren't you?\"\n\nHow those words had burned. They went straight into my hearts and chilled my bones. He wasn't wrong. I'd had so many heroes who would never dream of hiding. Some monsters had the nerve to actually sit on their people's chest, rendering them unable to move all, paralyzed in fear. \n\nOthers came through the ceiling with swirling smoke, glared from a door or the corner of the room, or even just made scary sounds. Some made use of shadows and noises, always moving. Others reached over the side of the bed, creeping up and sliding under the covers so when their human ducked under them, they'd be right there. A few of them even lured their humans to the hallway, appearing only when the light was turned off, disappearing when it was on, and getting closer each time. They has such timing and skill, and most of all bravery.\n\nNot me, I hid. The most scary I'd ever been was when I'd developed halitosis and one of the kids thought there was a dead animal under their bed. I couldn't take any satisfaction in it, as after they thoroughly searched with a flashlight to make sure, I took a face full of Lysol. It's hard to be taken seriously as a monster when you smell lemon fresh.\n\nThat's when I'd taken to the youngest child's closet. She was four. Her room was decorated with pretty pink frilly things, which made it incredibly hard to camouflage myself if I came out. I almost came out to scare her several times, but the frilly room didn't make for a good atmosphere. \n\nI began to suffer from panic attacks. I'd come out and the room would seem to close in on me. My hearts would beat faster than horses hooves on a racetrack, and I'd begin to feel woozy. Once I actually passed out and hit my head on a Barbie Dream house. Luckily she hadn't been there. She hadn't made the bed and the hair I'd spotted on the other side of the human shaped lump was her doll.\n\nImagine it. What would a human do to an unconscious monster? I shuddered to think of it. The hair on my arms started to stand up, leaving me looking like a puffball instead of the monster I needed to be. I was such a failure!\n\nThat's when I heard it. Footsteps, coming toward my closet door! I dove down, trying to hide behind the shoes and stuffed animals. I must blend in, I must. My breath caught. I felt like I was dying. The footsteps stopped. I could hear her breath. This was the moment. It was now or never. I was either going to lunge out and scare her or pass out on the spot.\n\nI heard a knock on the door and a squeaky voice said, \"It's me, Mr. Monster. Don't worry, I still believe in you.\"\n\n", "(Sorry for any formatting issues, on mobile)\n\nI sat in the closet, staring at the white wall through the slit in the door. It used to be blue, back when my child needed me. My child. Ha. She had not been a child for many years.\n\nI used to be her monster. I gave her nightmares, I grabbed at dangling feet, I scratched at windowsill's. When her protector had fallen, I took up the mantle. I fought viciously with the others, protecting her from them, preventing them from killing her with fear.\n\nBut the others were gone now, the ones I had not slain had left over the years to find younger, more vulnerable children to prey on. My child grew older, no longer needing me to prepare her for the harsh world.\nMy child is now grown, and I am no longer needed.\n\nSo I sit in this closet, bathing in my uselessness. Even when my child's niece spends the night, I do not bother coming out. Her own monsters follow her, and she has her own protector to watch over her. Brave and brash and effective.\n\nSo here I sit, staring at the white wall of what used to be my child's room. Useless. Simply remembering the glory days until I fade away.\n\nThen something happened.\n\nMy child walked into the room, and she transformed it. The stark white walls were painted over with the rich blue it had once been. A white dresser was assembled in a corner, small colorful flowers painted on the drawers. Dolls and toys were put in a chest, and freshly washed pink sheets were placed over the rarely used bed.\n\nSo now I sat in my closet, staring at a blue wall. How joyous.\n\nTime went by, and I continued staring, waiting to fade away. But then I heard footsteps. Not just the deliberate strides of my child, but the pitter-patter of small feet on a wood floor.\n\n\"Here's where you'll be staying hon. Why don't you go get settled in while I make some dinner?\" My child asked a question. I could smell fear, though not from her.\n\"But what if Daddy's monster is in there!? Daddy said it would follow me like it followed him. It hurt my teddy! It hurt mommy!\" A small voice. That's where the fear was from.\n\"Hey, hey don't worry. Daddy's monster isn't in there.\" My child tried to reassure the girl. I heard the doorknob turn.\n\"How do you know?\"\nThe door opened. I saw my child walk into the room with a small girl in tow. She lowered herself to the girl's level'\n\"There's a monster in the closet. But he's different. He keeps the bad ones away.\"\n\nDinner passed, and the girl was now sleeping in the freshly made bed. The others had come, to torment her with nightmares. Smoke billowed off their dark forms as they fought amongst themselves. One was darker than the rest, reminding me of a foe that I had fought so long ago.\nIt's tendrils were wrapped around her soft hair. The girl whimpered and shook in her sleep.\n\nThough I feared for myself, I could not bear to watch. I had seen this before, and knew the results if this were to continue. So I emerged from the closet, claws out and ready to strike.\n\nTurns out these ones were not used to a fight. \n\nWhen the one with the tendrils was slain, the girl awoke. I slinked back to my closet, unsure of what to do. The girl hesitantly took the covers off and walked over to the closet. She stood, staring at it, as if deciding what to do.\nThen she knocked.\n\n\"It's me Mr. Moster. Don't worry, I believe in you.\"\n\nOthers still come, hoping to prey on a weak child. But what they don't know is I am back, and I will destroy those who hope to harm my child. I will protect her. Just as I did for the previous, and will continue to do for as long as I exist." ]	2
	[WP] A world without small talk.	[ "Bob is an every day man. Except one different! Bob is a midget. And, a new law is passed in his home place of Grolonia Soviet Republic; It bans small talk. This means! No short people are allowed to speak.\n\nBob waves his hands at the McDonald drielve through? And he goes to point at the burger menu-- but the drive throogh people are too far and cannot see. \n\n\"Gosh darn it\" he says and then the Gestapo arrest him for small talking...\n\n\"Sir your under arrest! You can not talk because you are to small!\" \n\"No\" says Bob to to police man. And he pushes with his arm and the police man is very shocked. Because Bob who is only Four foot two packs a very good punch.\n\nAnd so the Midget Revolutionary Army marches into Moscow, and the shells rocketed into the air above, and the concrete below shook the rumbles of the prison where Bob stands. And Bob is an expression of MIDGET SOLIDARITY in the face of a regime that is bad.\n\nAnd they fight in the streets-- twenty midgets across and they make a phalanx and they do it. When they liberate the midgets in the prison everyone cheers. And they are happy but not the evil dudes! haha they go and mad very. So much that they say 《No you cannot do thfhat》 And resist the midget hivemind\n\nTHE MIDGET swarm ASSismilate all and they will make you a midget too. The freedom to midget is assured always. Always midget is what they chant as they march onwards. The posters line the streets with midget propaganda...\n\nAnd then they make a world with No Big Talk....\n" ]	1
	[WP] Even in a time of a galactic federation spanning thousands of worlds, there will still be those certain that civilization will collapse, and prepare for doomsday.	[ "The ship, engines humming, slowly ventured away from the star. The scanners reported that the ship had now officially left the galaxy. All of the five million passengers of the ship rejoiced. Many parties were held.\n\n...Here he comes. I stare at the most annoying neighbour in existence as he turns up at my house party unannounced and uninvited. I even added in hologram guards on the outside so that only registered guests could enter, yet he breezed past them. I cut my eyes at his naturally smug face. Boris was here.\n\n\"Sorry for interrupting sir, but cap'n tells me there's some disturbance in the distortion drives. I was wonderin if you'd be help'n us out and all?\" Boris asked in his typical smug yet stupid fashion.\n\nYes, of course I have to. As one of the select few distortion-physics educated mechanics on the ship, it was my job to monitor the drive and keep it working.\n\n\"OK, party's over!\" I shouted. Within a minute the guests had all translocated to the main deck, to go about their business or go home or find another party. \"This better be important...\" I mumbled softly to myself.\n\nBoris took me to the nearest crew translocation cylinder, put in his access code, and after biometric safety scans, we instantly translocated to the distortion drive control centre.\n\nNow, to fill you in, the ship was a colony ship heading to the Andromeda galaxy. It was stolen from the federation and we quickly rushed out the galaxy. I had been taken prisoner while the hijackers took the ship beyond civilised areas of the galaxy. Once they made their rendezvous with a transport ship full of conspiracy theory crazies living in the far outer arms of the milky way, I was released from custody to become a normal citizen. We could not have translocated them here due to the deliberate breaking of the translocators to stop the federation sending elite armed forces to retake the ship, which meant I could not escape home either. The crazies were all generally nice people, just brainwashed by those conspiracy videos on the internet. Even with differing doomsday theories, the passengers all agreed it would happen, so they decided to head for the Andromeda galaxy and start a multi species galactic colony.\n\nAnyway, after checking the instruments, and reading the entire manual, I found that there was no recorded incident of this happening and there was no solution. Due to the dangers of a distortion drive explosion, I ordered the engines to be shutoff while we slow down to a safe speed, so that we could try and fix the drives without them being turned on, for safety of the ship.\n\nWe couldn't fix it. We had only one choice - to float for thousands of years until we finally reached the Andromeda galaxy.\n\nI returned to my quarters and logged on to the galactic internet. This was an independent internet that was free to use no matter what. All users were anonymous and the federation could not change this because they relied on it too much. After scrolling through a few pages of Galactic Reddit, I moved on to ship mechanics forums. \n\nThe first post hit me like a capital class cannon.\n\n\"Are you seeing this?!\"\n\nThe picture attached was of the exact readings I'd just experienced - polarity fluctuation in the distortion drives. It wasn't just us - it was the whole galaxy.\n\nI entered a livechat with other mechanics working on the issue. Over the next few hours, we brainstormed solutions to the problem. There was no explainable reason.\n\nI drifted off to sleep, and when I woke later, I looked up at my screen, and as my vision came into focus on the bright monitor displaying the forum page, I could not process what I read.\n\nPage after page.\nThe same post.\n\n\"HELP.\"\n\nI opened the first post. It was an audiolog automatically uploaded.\n\n\"They came for us. They are destroying us. They tracked down our civilisation by the hyperspace signatures of the drives. Nobody is safe in our galaxy. Run while you can. Help u-\" I hear an explosion in the audiolog, then the sound of a ship tearing apart... and it cuts out.\n\n---\n\nFirst story here. I like creative writing in my free time as it is so fun. I'll probably make a sub of all my stories sometime. Thanks for reading, there will be more to come soon!\n\nEdit: Grammar corrections.\n" ]	1
	[WP] It's too late now	[ "\"It is too late now, you are no longer my better.\" He exclaimed. I had a poor view of the current situation, but I knew what was going on. Xara had shoved me to the ground and interrupted the ascension ritual. The arcane energy that had been collected by the moon stone for eons began to flow into Xara's body. Then I heard something I did not expect. Xara was no longer laughing, he was screaming. The sound that I heard coming from him was no longer human as his body began to twist from the immense power flowing into him. I finally got off the dustly floor and chuckled, \"You really thought you could withstand the preassure of ascension without any preperations? You really are dumber than I thought. Its no womder Father chose me over you, my brother.\" I could barely see him through the manastorm that was formed with all the excess energy that his body could not take in. I could however see his eyes. In his eyes I saw regret and sorrow. Regret for all the playing around he had done in his childhood instead of studying, like me. Sorrow becauce he knew that there was nothing that could save him. He also knew that even if there was, I would have not done anything. He has earned this ending, and he realises that. He knew I would wait till he turned to ash and the stone took back all the power. Then I would continue the ritual. \"It is too late now,\" I said as I sat down in a chair and waited." ]	1
	[WP] You live in a world where everyone is born with one special power. You were born with the power to make people hungry. Debilitatingly hungry. What do you do?	[ "I had starved him from three days. His spirit was nearly broken, I had almost broken him.\n\n\"You look hungry.\" I said casually as I walked into the room where he was chained up. He gave me a deathly glare.\n\n\"I've got some food for you.\" I said. He spat in my face.\n\n\"I ain't saying nothing.\" He whispered, his voice to hoarse for him to shout.\n\n\"Oh, you don't have to talk. I just thought I'd give you something to eat.\" I laughed, laying the box of food in front of him. I unlocked the cuffs on his hands. He eyed me suspiciously. I beckoned for him to open. \n\n\"It's pizza.\" I added. He cautiously opened the box very slightly and a sliver of hope appeared in his eyes. He tore open the box and grabbed two large slices, holding them over his mouth while saliva dripped from it when he noticed something. It was Hawaiian.\n\n\"Of course if you do me a favor you can get a margarita.\" I promised with a sadistic grin.\n\n\"OK, I'll talk.\" he croaked, defeated." ]	1
	[WP] You're alone in the house, with very bad eyesight. Just after you take off your glasses, shut off the light, lay down and close your eyes to go to sleep, you hear your glasses being broken. Deliberately.	[ "One of my favorite parts of my daily routine: going to sleep. It's officially 10:00. I have work at 8:30, so I gotta be up by 7:45. I take off my glasses. The eye doctor says I have poor vision, but I swear it's not as bad as he says it is, but I need glasses anyway. So I take them off and put them on my nightstand. I shut off the light, turn over and shut my eyes.\n\nIt's completely silent except for my cat's meow from the living room. You know, the whimper-meow that they give when they're begging. I hear nothing until, after about 6 minutes of struggling to get to sleep, I hear the clear sound of my glasses breaking.\n\nCrap, my cat smashed my glasses., I thought. Gotta get new ones. \n\nI looked over and saw an unclear silhouette of a human. Looked a little shadowy. I shat bricks and turned on the light. I saw... a demon. A demon or humanoid is how I can best describe it. A human, but their hand was twisted at about a 180 degree angle. And their face... Their face...\n\nThe majority of the skin of their face was ripped off, and parts of the flesh had been ripped revealing blood. It looked mostly human apart from some creepy details, but something told me that this man... creature was not human. It ran out of the room and I never saw him again. I got up and my cat was okay and nothing was out of the ordinary.\n\nI went back into the bedroom, looked at my broken glasses on the nightstand, and said Shit, time to buy some new glasses.\n\n" ]	1
Whether you use Pestilence or Conquest is up to you, but I always learned Pestilence (or Pollution, if you're a Good Omens fan). Isn't Conquest a bit close to War anyway?	[WP] Non-traditional families are quite common these days, but yours might just be the strangest of them all. You werenraised by the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse	[ "\"Leave. Me. Alone.\"\n\n\"You must stay awake! We must fight!\"\n\n\"War, shut up.\"\nAll I was trying to do was take a nap after school. War really wanted me to stay up. \"Thank you, Death.\" \"He has a point though. Homework much?\"\n\"How will you ever rule anything if you do not do homework?\" \"Conquest, no. Please.\" They wouldn't shut up, so I did he best thing I could. \"Guys.\" \"What?\" \"Domingo Infuego!\" A huge burning cross slammed into the Horsemen and shut them up. \"Thank god.\" \"My thoughts exactly!\" A huge voice boomed down from above. \"We agreed that you would stay out of my business when I invoke Sunday Fire!\" \"Change of plans. After the fiasco of the Skelton demons, I can't leave anything to chance.\" \"Next cosmic shift, I'm going somewhere else.\" \"To conquer?\" \"SHUT UP!!!!!\"", "\"H U M A N ! R I S E !\" A shrill whisper echoed into my ear. I opened an eye and stared at a thin, sickly looking male parody of Paris hilton dressed like a 90's punk K-pop star.. complete with oversized jolly -roger belt-buckle.\n\n\"Y'all iz gonna miss ya bweakfaaaassssssst!\" The starving drag said with a sway of his visible hip bone. I turned over. If he was cooking, it wouldn't be much...\n\nMy stomach gurgled. \n\n\"If yous gonn' starve, then you should know dat diss inn't a way to do it!\"\n\n\"Fine. Hold some eggs for me Fam,\" i groaned as the blanket was torn from my grasp.\n\n\"Good boy. Now getcha showah!\" He said while walking out of the room like a puppet on strings.\n\nI slumped out of bed and into the bathroom. There death stood in her fluffy slippers and unicorn sweatshirt. She turned to stare at me with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. Her long black hair was messy and oily, and her eyes were filled with malice. \n\n\"Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling like death...\" i grumbled while stepping into the shower.\n\nI earned the unearthly groan from her. 100%. \n\nYou might think its weird to be naked in front of Death. I was taught that your incorporeal soul would be completely nude after death... and that greeting death nude was the truest way to die with honor. Besides, she was gone by the time I got out.\n\nI made my way downstairs, and saw Fam burning breakfast. I took my seat next to war who had a handful of crumpled papers to his right and a beatn chessboard in front of him. \n\n\"Mornin'\" i yawned.\n\n\"Gooood mownin!\" Fam greeted cheerfully. \n\n\"Hmph...\" Polly grunted, who was seated across from War. This was a typical morning.\n\nWar is a wall given form as a fattier superhuman from those Fallout games. His gut, while rotund, displayed countless scars and a perfectly cut set of abs. The rest of him was similarly toned. In his giant hands was a piece of paper yet uncrumpled. His small eyes focused on it in concentration.\n\nPolly, or Pestilence, sat across from him. She looked like a rather beautiful looking surgery addict from Bay Watch. Pamela Anderson be damned. Puffy pink lips, oversized chest, large hair, and a bronzed plastic-like complexion. Her eyes were focused squarely on the chessboard. \n\nA hand pushed forward a bishop of the same plastic she was mostly made of. Her finger lingered on it while her lips puckered. It lifted from it and she grinned smugly. \n\nWar grumbled, but not at the game. The paper in his hands became crumpled. He set it gently next to him and retrieved another. He glanced at the game and pushed a pawn forward.\n\n\"Damn it~\" Polly swore with a flop back in her seat. Her hair bounced as she slumped and pouted.\n\n\"666 to 13?\" I inquired. \n\n\"666 to 15!\" Polly whined adamantly. War rolled his eyes and relaxed his buging muscles. The white tee was now clearly visible, and the text \"Free hugs\" written in crude handwriting could be seen.\n\n\"Here ya go plumb,\" Fam said as a plate of rotten eggs, rancid bacon, withered grapes and a pile of perfectly cooked spam.\n\n\"Where's D?\" I asked while poking the spam.\n\n\"Early release in Japan...\" Polly said while still pouting. \n\n\"Oh? What game?\" I asked while Fam lit a cigerette.\n\n\"WURLDWURTREE...\" War replied with exasperation.\n\n\"... never knew she was into C.O.D...\" i mumbled. \n\n\"Heard joo gotz an intahview bae..\" Fam said while puffing out smoke.\n\n\"Yeah fam. Let's hope they like me...\" I said with a hollow laugh.\n\n\"Who doesn't like you?\" Polly interjected while sipping from a mug of overly doctored coffee. \"We like you. You got this!\"\n\nI nodded. War suddenly grunted and dropped on my plate a perfectly folded origami crane. On the wings it read, \"Good Lumpf.\" I assumed he meant luck.\n\n\"Thanks War. Very nice. Youre improving.\" I patted his arm and he laughed.\n\nThen, Death fell out of the closet clutching her girlfriend. \n\n\"How was work?\" I asked generally.\n\n\"Not done. I still have her.\" Her girlfriend deadpanned while being hugged. Death gave a thumbs up.\n\nI have such a nice family.\n\n((Kudos tp those who can recognize a weeby death! ;) ))\n\n", "The light shone through the window, and I arose. Day 2 of high school, commence. 30% chance of rain today, 10% chance it'll be the storm from south. When you're raised like me, you learn to calculate everything.\n\nNormally, when you're in high school, it's your mom or dad that wakes you up, makes you breakfast, and then drags you out the door into the car before you can finish it. Or pushes you out so you can catch the bus on time.\n\nFor me, it was Death that shook me awake, Famine who handed me breakfast, War that shoved me out the door, and Pestilence that drove me. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were my caregivers. \n\n85% chance Famine will be the one cooking, 10% it's War. Death will likely be reading the news, Pestilence is probably in the garage.\n\nHowever, when I went downstairs, it was only War's red glowing eyes that greeted me, face shaded like always by his helmet.\n\n\"Wait, where...where is Pestilence?\" I croaked out.\n\n\"Beijing\" The gruff reply of War was deep, and it always chilled me to the core. But, I saw it coming. Pestilence spent most of his time in China and America.\n\n\"Famine?\"\n\n\"West Africa.\" Again, not surprised, but I was thinking he'd be more south.\n\n\"Death?\"\n\n\"Shopping.\" Well that was new.\n\nI quickly sat down, eating my breakfast. \"Wait, but then that means...\"\n\nI could feel the smile on War's face.\n\nGodammit.\n\n**\n\nI quickly jumped out the car onto the curb. \"Okaybye!\" I quickly shut the door, but War's strong arms stopped it from fully closing. I had roughly 1 or 2 minutes before someone would come.\n\n\"Remember, kid, knock 'em dead, alright?\"\n\nI nodded. \"Sure thing!\" 45 seconds.\n\n\"You got Sports Club today, right? Pick you up at 3?\"\n\n\"Uh...3:30.\" I stammered out. Dammit just leave before people see me!\n\n\"Hmm...you think you can wait 'til 4?\"\n\nI quickly nodded. Is this guy wanting to be seen?*\n\nHe stared at me for a few seconds. \"Well? You gonna leave or what?\"\n\nThe thought raced through my head so fast I didn't anticipate it. I quickly slammed the door.\n\nWheeling around, there were about 5 or 6 people staring at me.\n\nI quickly eyed them up, calculating the damage to my reputation it would give me. Booth Collins, Smash Club, not much damage. Linda Ho, Book Club, would probably need to buy a book in exchange for silence. if A couple drama kids, nothing a Pepsi wouldn't fix, and... oh god. Jenny Marshall. I've had a crush on her for years. \n\n\"I swear, I can explain...\"\n\nBut I don't think you can explain a 7' man in armor driving you to school easily.", "When I was 10, my uncle and aunt died. To be honest, I did not feel too sorry, or sad. They weren't there when my parents were killed. But that's a soppy story, and I don't like those. No, I was saved from the orphanage but death. And before you think I killed myself, I did not. I was saved, saved from being another grim statistic, saved from self pity, and most importantly, saved from what every person fears. A mundane life.\n\n\nDeath isn't what most people think he is. He is no grim reaper, no man in a cloaked hood, no evil soul. He would always like to claim he was a fit body builder, though in truth, he was epitomised death. A bald, greying man, growing a nice pudge alongside a potential heart attack. He looked better in his younger years, malnourished and rotting away, yellow skin tugging at his ribcage. He certainly looked fit. Famine always told him that, which probably perpetuated myth of his fearsomeness. Probably helped Famine anyway, fear of Death sparked fear of Famine. Famkne liked these things, he usually told me \"I love hunger like I love your dad\". Don't ask me how Famine and Death gave birth to War and Conquest. Speaking of War and Conquest, my sister was usually never up to any good. Most people think that War and Conquest are separate, but they are not. Or at least they are not. You see, in 1991, my sister got a surgery to remove her conjoined twin, which in hindsight, ended disastrously. Now she has two responsibilities and all I hear her do is complain. Neither would I want her to take a holiday, last time she went to Aleppo, we know how it went. I sure as hell won't let her K-Pop obsession get the better of her. This time, even Pestilence agrees, for a stubborn aunt, that's rare. Politically, Pestilence could be defined as \"center of the right\", so finding out Pestilence loved Communism was much more than an irony. Pestilence and Famine both refused to let War and Conquest go to Korea, and it was very funny. \n\n\n\"You don't control me! I love Korea! The Kimpap, the teopoki!\"\n\n\n\"Sure as hell young lady! If you go, hunger and disease will end! You can't control yourself. You can't let there be 'small skirmishes'. No, you can't go!\" \n\n\nBeing forced to sit through these arguments once a day was pretty boring and it was even worse once I started getting blamed. \n\n\"Pollution! What the hell are you doing? Why are you not convincing your sister that industrial waste alone kills more than war could ever!\" \n\n\nUsually I just let Death solve everything. After all, Death does solve everything. He is a very fair father who never needs to judge our actions, just our impact.", "Today was Charlotte's first time playing Striker in the soccer game. The 4 Horsemen were so proud of her because it seemed like only yesterday she was taking her first steps\n\nPestilence: Would you like me to stricken them with the most vile plague, princess?\n\nWar: I can overwhelm them with bloodlust and have them kill each other, sweetie?\n\nDeath: How about having them all just drop dead? There's no need for overwhelming them with bloodlust. I mean, how are a bunch of 8 year olds going to kill themselves? Pulling their hair and pinching each other?\n\nFamine: Fools. There's no need for killing them when I can simply stricken them with hunger to make them too weak to play.\n\nWar: You're such a pussy, Famine. I'm sure Charlotte likes my idea best. I've always been her favorite.\n\nFamine: Wow. I'm a pussy? Who has wiped out millions without having to lift a sword or fire a gun?\n\nPestilence: (clearing his throat) Uh, remember The Plague, Smallpox, The 1918 Influenza, Ebola? I wouldn't be humblebragging about just starving millions because you kept their potatoes from growing. Try killing billions with some microscopic, unassuming microorganisms.\n\nDeath: Please. I've been around longer than any of you. Hell, I reaped Adam and Eve. I find this body count dick measuring contest amusing since I'm the real heavyweight here. Wars, famines and plagues come and go. My services are always in demand.\n\nThe 4 Horsemen began bickering amongst each other when Charlotte finally had enough and butted in.\n\nCharlotte: Daddies. It's nice you guys want to help but I think I'll be OK. I'm 8 years old and can handle these mortals myself. If any of them get in my way, I'll strike them down with lightning.\n\nThe 4 Horsemen: That's our girl. Kick their asses. Have no mercy on the mortals.\n\nCharlotte smiled and ran over to her team. This would be a good soccer game.\n\n", "I awoke to beady eyes glowering at me through the visor of a horned helmet. \n\n“Up,” said War. “Bright new day. Fresh battles. Sleep is as bad as death.”\n\n“Hey!” said Death from the kitchen.\n\n“Sorry. Sorry. Sleep is as bad as surrender. Better?”\n\nDeath smiled from the doorway, but then Death always smiled. He was holding a frying pan full of eggs and wearing his usual frilly apron.\n\n“Breakfast,” said War. \n\n“Eh,” I said.\n\n“Breakfast,” said War. He threw off my blankets. I lay there staring at the ceiling. I was just thinking I could get used to the cold, but he picked me up and thrust me into my seat at the table. Pestilence was sat there, lost in the latest issue of Nature. Beside him were a stack of other magazines on immunology. He took frantic notes on a world map, drawing violent circles around tropical areas. He scratched his proboscis and fluttered his wings with anticipation.\n\nFamine entered. “I'm not hungry,” he said. He grabbed one of the plates that Death had served and poured it into the bin.\n\n“How will you fight with no fuel?” asked War.\n\n“I need to watch my figure,” said Famine. He rolled a cigarette and his sunken eyes followed the curl of the smoke.\n\n“Oh, to be so delicate, to be as a petal, or an English summer,” he said.\n\n“I like poetry,” said War. “None of this sissy stuff though.”\n\n“Please,” said Famine. “These are the last gasps of a starved soul.”\n\nSomehow, War took offence at that. “You wanna fight about it?” he said.\n\nI just watched them all in silence as they bickered, as Famine chimed in that they were distracting him, as Death tried to act as the great unifier. It all seemed like so much effort.\n\nFamine turned to me, trying to change the subject: “You haven't touched your eggs. Want me to chuck them out?”\n\n“Apathy!” said Death. “You have to eat. We might not be around forever. We'll need you to pick up the slack, so you need to eat those eggs and grow up big and strong.”\n\n“Eh,” I said." ]	6
*but one day	[WP] All your life you've lived inside the wall knowing that it keeps the monsters out, but I've day you're cast out of the wall and discover that it actually kept the monsters in.	[ "I life inside the wall was never easy. There was never enough jobs to go around and no mater how hard you worked it was never enough to keep bread on the table but it was better then the \"outside\". At least that's what they told me. I was the in wanted step child, a curse bestowed upon my stepmother when my father, her 4th husband died but I was useful. With my job at the coal mine I was able to keep enough bread on the table to feed my three half siblings. One fateful morning as i was making my daily 3 mile commute I was jumped and pulled into an ally. The attackers took everything, from my coin purse to my shoes. The attack was enough to make me 5 min late to work resulting in immediate termination despite my 4 years of devoted work. My walk home was a long heavy one. I would be kicked out, with my mother in able to use me for my salary she would no longer allow me to sleep on the kitchen floor I would be forced to sleep in the mass shelters with 100 strangers or more. I never would have imagined the evil that sat just beyond the threshold of our front door. Perhaps if I had I would have run gladly to the mass shelters and never would have found my path. As the door swing open on squeaky hinges i saw my mother sitting across the table form lion the owner of the largest brothel in the outer wall. The moment I saw my her, my step monster, smiling I should have guessed her motives but my heart Sank with fear for my beautiful little sister shay. Then for the second time that day I was grabbed and Beaton only this time it was my freedom that was stolen. She sold me, to a brothel owner, I knew the woman was a monster but this was a low I didn't conceive possible before now. The two goons smile at me expectedly as the Coach takes us towards what I can only think is one of his many brothels. My mind is racing, how could I possibly escape this fate. The shackles shift as I fidget making the smallest of clanging, I chose to find comfort in the sound. I close my eyes and summon my only memory of my birth mother. The clanking of shackles becomes the many bracelets she wore on her wrists and ankles as she danced barefooted in our run down kitchen, she sang a joyous tune as she danced, choosing to enjoy the little things life gave us rather then all the bad. I was jostled out of my haze when goon number one decided to run his hand along my thigh. Both goons are looking at me anxious to get what they want. Little do they know I have an extrodanary ability to ruin someone's plan. Without warning I bring up my leg and kick goon number two right in the jaw, when goon number one lunged at me I raised my cufs allowing me to wrap the chain around his neck. A moment later he stopped flailing and when the chain was removed he remained still, staring at me with lifeless eyes. Seeing the fate of his friend goon number two showed his hands as if defeated. Satisfied with my work I kicked open the door jumped out and set off sat a sprint across the dirt road with no real detonation in mind. Before I could get far the back of my shirt was caught and pulled upright bringing my feet off the ground. Out of the crowd 4 peace keepers materialized all headed towards me. Typically the punishment for murder is death by hanging but seeing as I am only 16 and, until today, a upstanding citizen the council opted for a less gruesome sentence. Life outside the wall. For some this is the worst punishment possible for me, at least I'll be alive. I was given a water bottle , a knife, a pair of shoes and was sent on my way to the outside. What I found was nothing like I ever imagined. While the inside was crowded, dirty, smoggy and smelt of human waste the outside was green with vast riling hills trees and clear sky as far as the eye can see. This was not a punishment, this was Heven sent. " ]	1
	[WP] You are walking through town when you are approached by a man/woman with a gun to your face. There are tears running down their face.	[ "\"You lying, cheating, bastard!\"\n\nAs if on cue, it begins to rain. I'm glad. The rain can cover up some of her dignity. \n\n\"I am,\" I reply, evenly. There's no use denying the facts. I never have before. \n\n\"Why?\"\n\nI check my watch. \"Really, darling, this is embarrassing.\"\n\n\"I loved you,\" she weeps. The gun is like her - trembling and wavering all over the place. Her mascara is running as well, how lazy.\n\n\"I still love you,\" she sobs, voice low and yearning for reconciliation. Goodness, where are her manners? You don't do these sorts of things in public.\n\n\"Please,\" she begs. \"Just tell me why.\"\n\nBecause I think I'm beginning to love you.\n\nBut I can't tell her that. Not now... Not ever.\n\nI walk past her without a word.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Scientists have discovered a way to communicate with virtually every species on Earth, and they all say the same thing: You don't belong here.	[ "You don't belong here. The shocking phrase uttered by species after species always the same. Society and the media spun themselves into a frenzy trying to understand the breadth and depth of that condemnation. What exactly does it mean, you don't belong here. Are we aliens, or is it are superior adaptations and behaviors that have truly separated us from animals? Pundits spun and struck down theory after theory, pop scientists fed the buzz as the rich and famous voiced their opinions either repudiating humanity or praising humanities virtues. \n\nSlowly some countries began to revolt trying to rip apart and destroy the millenia of civilization, roads and buildings were burned and anything deemed \"not belonging\" was destroyed. Other countries took to enshrining humanity as the only true inheritors of the planet while removing any rights or protections for animals, plants, or the land.\n\nA year later another shocking truth would rattle the world. The scientists were wrong, a few small errors in the code had made it output the exact same response for anything you hooked up to it be it animal, mineral, or machine. The news would lead to many repeals of laws in the countries that had enshrined humanity, and many lawmakers weren't re-elected. For the countries that had engaged in wholesale self destruction they would be relegated to the dustbin of history, there citizens suffering for their hubris. The scientists were driven from academia and spent their lives off the grid hiding from their shame. On the internet a few individuals smiled and laughed at the chaos a few alterations of code inserted by a virus can make on the world when technology starts to reign supreme." ]	1
I think this is an interesting concept. Who is your soulmate, and how did you find them?	[wp] Tell the story of how you found your soulmate.	[ "It's a sting that I'll always remember, a stain that doesn't fade. That's not how I like to remember us though. I like to remember the thousand grains of sand under my feet. The softness of your hand despite the damp touch of mine. The smile on your face, while the fire danced shadows across the lightness of your skin. I like to remember the waves crashing behind us in the darkness, and the gentle wash flowing over our feet only to recede again. The slow gathering of the crowd as we circled them in a wide arch. So when asked what I like to remember, I say the only thing worth remembering is you. You as you were on that night, so peaceful and pure. Guiding me, even in the night since you left on the eternal journey. So that one day or souls will collide in a great Elysium far from here, as they did on that first night. \n\nFirst time posting, don't kill me. Actually from a fantasy blog I used to write but slightly edited. Figured I'd try start posting in writing prompts to pick up my writing skills! Hope you don't hate it haha" ]	1
	[WP] After all these years after your dad left to go get cigarettes, he returns battered and bloody with a pack of smokes and says "You won't believe what happened"	[ " After all these years, I've got a story or two, \n Wanted to get cigarettes, it'll only be a few, \n Stepped outside, it was a normal day, \n I'll be back in five, I thought, I just may; \n\n\n I ran into a buddy, a guy I once knew, \n Talked off my ear, oh the shit he had spew, \n Entranced in his words, I went down a path, \n Feeling so inviting, like a really warm bath; \n\n\n Shit it has been long, but I really can't stay, \n I need to meet a buddy, I must be on my way, \n If anyone asks, you didn't see me here, \n He left without a sound, but a whisper in my ear. \n", "Dad popped in my room unannounced, like the dingus he is. \"You won't believe what happened!\" He exclaimed. I looked at him quizzically, his shirt was bloody and torn, a pack of smokes in his hand. \"Okay, Okay, so here's what happened. I went out for a pack of smokes and just as I...\" \nI groaned, already bored. \"Fuck dad, this better not be one of your stupid found a dollar stories.\" \nHe shook his head, disappointedly. \"No son. I just thought you'd like to hear the story of how I...\"\nI bashed my head against my keyboard. \"Can't you see I'm raiding pops. GET THE FUCK OUT!\"", "Hello my child, I have a story to tell.\nWhy I came home so late, bloody as hell.\n\nIt all started on that day.\nWhere I was on my way,\nto get a couple of cigs.\n\nI got hit by this weird looking arrow,\nIt hurt because so deep it burrowed.\n\nAfter I felt a burning pain,\nOther than my own blood that stained.\nMy wound was already gone,\nthen a weird guy named DIO showed up and told me I have a Stand.\nAnd he said I will be a slave for his master plan.\n\nHe creeped me out so I ran,\nwent so far and then,\nI got caught.\n\nFor so long I was a slave, battling weird battle everyday,\nUntil one day,\nThe weird guy named DIO died.\nAnd I was able to come home tonight.\n\n", "I woke up early this morning and walked to the shop around the corner for some donuts. I thought about buying a pack of smokes but I remembered I still had some at home so I walked back with my bag of donuts. \"Did you call for the bank?\" She asked as soon as I stepped foot in the house. \"No I just woke up.\" She muttered something and I chose not to hear it. Andrew was dressed and ready for school. \"Can you drive him?\" She asked me. \"Why don't you ask our neighbor again.\" I meant it, but I was still going to drive him. It got her really angry though because she took the keys from my hand and proclaimed that she'd drive him herself. Not my fault she'd rather ask that dipshit for help than wake me up. \"Go right the... Go ahead. I'm going for a walk so don't be late I still have work.\" I closed the door behind me and reached into my pocket for my pack. I still forgot to pick it up from the house. And I left my donuts! Back to the corner I walked. At first I thought I somehow walked the wrong way, but I couldn't find that donut shop. It was completely gone and I crossed the street to figure out what the hell just happened.\n\nnot done, continuing later", "I really was just after a pack of smokes that day. I walked down to the corner store where I'd always gotten my Marlboros before. They were out. The clerk said\n\n\"You're gonna want to try 'The Smoke Shop'.\"\n\nI searched it on my phone. A ten mile drive. I said \"just give me some Newports,\" but the clerk insisted, and only insisted. He refused to sell me any cigarettes. The stress was filling me up. I had to will myself not to make a scene. I needed these. \n\nI tried another store, and it was the same story. \n\n\"What the hell is with you people?\" I asked the clerk.\n\n\"Just try 'The Smoke Shop.'\"\n\nMy face reddened and I wanted to trash the store in retaliation. The trip was utterly counter-productive so far in. I saw only one option now. I grabbed the car and headed to 'The Smoke Shop.'\n\nI pulled into the lot of the shop in an outskirt of town, tucked in the pocket of some hillscape. The lot was large and filled with cars. I thought\n\n\"It can not be this busy. It's in the middle of nowhere.\" \n\nI entered the shop. It was empty, save for the deathly bored looking clerk at the register, leaning on his elbow, unaffected by my presence. I walked up.\n\n\"Uh, pack of Marlboros please.\"\n\nHe sighed, but straightened up a little. \"Why are you really here?\"\n\n\"What? Pack of smokes. Please.\" There was no way I was getting hassled again. This was where they told me to come. I was damn near ready to rob the place, just for a single pack.\n\nThe clerk leaned in this time. His eyes no longer looked bored but intense and probing. \n\n\"I... I...\"\n\nHe leaned in closer. His words rang out and echoed in my head. \"Why are you here? Why? WHY?\"\n\n\"BECAUSE I'M A BAD FATHER!\" \n\nThe clerk sunk back a little, satisfied with the reaction. \"Well,\" he said, \"you came to the right place then. We can help with that.\" \n\n\"What the hell kind of place is this?\"\n\n\"Walk with me.\" I hesitated. \"There's a free pack of Marlboros in it for you.\"\n\nI'd braved through time share talks and such before so I thought i'd go along with it. \"Alright,\" I shrugged and he led me through a door into the back.\n\n\"We here at 'The Smoke Shop,' at all of our locations, pride ourselves in bettering the future generations.\" We walked past a room that resembled some sort of laboratory. Then past an office with its blinds close. \"And it's schmucks like you that are the biggest problem. You're working against us. A damn thorn in our side.\"\n\n\"I don't know if that's the best way to approach your clients,\" I said through gritted teeth.\n\nWe came to something like a hospital room, with a chair in the middle, surrounded by equipment, all ominous in its own right. The man in the room stopped his computer work and stood attentively. \n\n\"Tell me what's going on. Now.\"\n\n\"We think it's in everyone's interest, if you forget, and move on.\"\n\n\"Forget? Forget what?\"\n\n\"Your daughter.\"\n\n\"What the hell is this? How do you know-?\"\n\n\"Think about it Allen. You know she's better off without you.\"\n\nI was angry, so angry, and crying. \"But she'll- I can't just- She needs... I love her!\"\n\n\"Then let her go.\" \n\nI looked at them each, then the door, \"I can fix this-\" They grabbed me, and threw me into the chair. The last thing I remember is a needle in my arm, and shouting, \"I love her! I love her! I love her!\"\n\n----------\n\nI woke up in a hospital. No one was there waiting. I wasn't really surprised. The nurse said I had suffered amnesia. Thankfully I still knew who I was, and that I lived in an apartment and still remembered how to get there.\n\nI'd have to figure out what it was I forgot. \n\n\"I need a smoke. Boy do I need a smoke.\"\n\n\"Lucky\" the nurse said, and pointed to a pack of Marlboros beside my bed. \"It's the only thing you had on you.\"\n", "“Mom, dinner.” I remove two scalding plastic trays from the microwave and carry them carefully to the living room. An infomercial for a bread knife that cuts through cinder blocks is blaring on the television, and Mom is in her nightly stupor. She intermittently raises her eyebrows and squints to refocus her eyes. She scowls at nothing in particular. I clear off a couple empty bottles of gin from the coffee table and set down our meals. Mom makes a gurgling sound and some spit dribbles down her chin onto her nightgown. It’s her way of reminding me to say grace.\n\nAs I’m finishing my corn kernels and thinking about what to do with Mom’s untouched meal, there’s a knock at the door. “You’ll get that, right?” I say jokingly to Mom as I head to the door. We were expecting a delivery a few hours ago, but it’s no big deal. But the man on our doorstep is not holding a package. His face is swollen and bloodied, his shoulders are slumped, and it’s been thirteen years, but I know him. I usher him in wordlessly and direct him straight to the kitchen so that Mom won’t see him.\n\nI hand him a glass of water, but I can’t muster a word to say. He sits down at the kitchen table, the one that actually used to belong to his father. He takes too deep of a breath and wheezes. Without looking up from his glass, he rasps “you won’t believe what happened”. And he proceeds to tell me, and he is absolutely right.\n\nWhen I was eight or nine, I was convinced that he was a spy for the government. Mom was still working back then, and I would come home from school and pore over old photograph albums by myself. He wore a dark suit in so many of the photos that I felt I had put two and two together. When Mom would tuck me in at night, I’d ask her when his mission would be over, and she’d look out the window for a moment and look back at me. “Soon,” she’d whisper.\n\nAround age thirteen I realized how naïve I was being. I had allowed a few wedding photos and a childish imagination to form an alibi for whatever my mother had done to drive him away. She had recently been laid off and was actively searching for work while looking after me. We would get in huge fights and I wouldn’t talk to her for days. Sometimes I wouldn’t come home at night just to make her worry. I’d wander parks and neighborhoods and crash at friends’ houses and try to deduce, based on all the bad things I knew about her, exactly how my Mom had made him leave.\n\nOver the past couple of years, after our roles had reversed and I had begun working to take care of Mom, I pretty much stopped thinking about him altogether. I concluded that something substantial must have happened, that I would never really know its extent, and that I had bigger things to worry about.\n\nSo when he told me at the kitchen table that he was a coward, that he wasn’t ready then for the responsibility, and that he had spent the last decade getting in bar fights and going in and out of prison, I really could not believe it. It didn’t align with any of the narratives I had held onto, the ones that cast him as a victim of circumstance. I would have believed an alien abduction or some unspeakable betrayal, but he just didn’t want to be around. I still hadn’t said anything and decided to keep it that way. I ushered him back to the front door and sent him outside. He was bewildered and lingered on the doorstep, but I didn’t wait around to see how long.\n\nMom gurgles again as I return to my seat on the couch. “I guess the delivery man will come by tomorrow,” I say, and begin cleaning up her dinner tray. A guy on the television in a floppy chef’s hat is using a samurai sword to rend a steel beam.", "I grabbed my mother’s hand as her breath grew ragged and harsh. Those sweet hands that comforted and consoled me, still soft and warm after all our years of hardship. \n\nI’ve known what years of parenting can do to a relationship and how it can be stressful. I admire my mother for her strength not to seek anyone out after he had left. Even after fifty years, I have a hard time forgiving the man. He was our bread-winner, the center of my mother’s love, and the one who was supposed to teach me how to be a man. I love my wife and children, and cannot fathom how a real man could leave his own. \n\nA sputtering grew louder and her hand squeezed me with surprising strength, drawing my attention out from within. \n\n“Please try to forgive him… I loved him very much,” she rasped, her first words in weeks, “I know it is a hard thing to understand. I love you guys so much. I want to…” \n\nHer voice was cut-off from a battering noise at the front door, and I turned to my wife to take my place beside my beloved mother. I knew it was not my son and daughter, they were away at school and work across the country, plus they respected my mother too much to make such noise at her final hours. I rushed to the door to see who was calling.\n\nI was greeted by a haggard young man with a wild look in his eyes. He held a pack of cigarettes in his hand, and mumbling something about Chery… no, Charlene? \n\n“Who are you?! What are you doing at our house? Where’s Charlene? Where’s my boy?” \n\n“Whoa, hold up sir,” I replied, trying frantically to placate the man. Looking past the battered and smeared face, I saw a flash of someone familiar…\n\n“My boy?! Wilson! Charlene,\" the young man called, \"I'm here. Who’s this man?”\n\n“Dad?”\n\nThe man snapped to attention, tears welling in his eyes. I then noticed that he wasn’t looking at me, but my mother, Charlene, who had roused herself out of bed with the last of her feeble strength, carried by wife, tears pouring from her eyes. \n\n“Dear Lord… Charlene. No, I was only gone for a minute. I… uh. Fell? The dreams…” the man started whispering, sagging to his knees. \n\nMy mother burst from my wife’s grip, and embraced the man. Joyous tears welled up in her eyes, as her arms lost their strength, leaving her dead in her husband’s arms, as she said, “I waited all these years. I love you Richie… I knew you’d be back.”\n\nI looked at the two, coming to grips with how much they had loved each other. I feared the young man, no, my father might have a heart attack from how much he was shaking. I noticed beside the crumpled cigarette carton was a picture of my mother and her husband that had stood beside her nightstand all of these years. Hers was still in her bedroom.\n\nI needed to know what had transpired, but I was still reeling from the shock, too. We also had a funeral to plan…\n\nMy wife steadied me as she gave me the sweetest hug. We looked down at the two of them wondering where to go from here… ideas swirling around our heads as the unfathomable replayed in our heads. My father was back.\n", "Daddy went out to the store\n\nback when I was only four\n\nNow that I have reached fifteen\n\nHe has once again has been seen\n\n&nbsp;\n\nHe didn't age a single day\n\nHe said the gray men made him stay\n\nHis escape plan was fraught with danger\n\nHe crawled his way through the air exchanger\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow he has to fight with Kirk\n\nMom's new boyfriend, who's a real jerk\n\nHis new laser vision should do the trick\n\nI'd like to see him burn off Kirk's ... nose", "Jeremy could still hear his wife's ranting, even as he slammed the door shut and stepped out into the rain. Like the drops that fell from the sky, her insults slowly petered out as he marched away from his home.\n\nIt's been like this for weeks, Jeremy thought. He pulled his hoodie up to shield himself from the weather and walked along grey streets, running the events of the day over in his head. Charlotte was always shouting these days. Late for dinner? Told off. Wanted to fuck her in the middle of the week? Scolded. Wanted to go out with the guys for beers? The cold shoulder.\n\nJeremy seethed, thinking of how the girl he'd fallen in love with had grown into someone he had nothing in common with. Gone was the warmth of her embrace and the excitement she used to conjure in him. It had been replaced by a slow, almost glacial resentment that had worsened since their son was born.\n\nTheir son. Jacob. Jeremy had never seen anything so beautiful - but he'd also never met something so difficult. Diagnosed with ADHD, he was a handful and Charlotte had to quit her job to take care of him, which hadn't helped the situation.\n\nAs Jeremy stewed on his life, he narrowly avoided walking headfirst into a lamppost which stood up triumphantly from the concrete pavement. He cursed under his breath as he avoided it just in time, slamming his shoulder into it as he dodged. \n\nAnd then suddenly, he wasn't in the rain. \n\nJeremy blinked, still startled from being spun by the impact of the lamppost. Sunlight beat down on his skin and when his eyes opened, he could see a cloudless blue sky through brown tints. He brought a hand up to his face, feeling the sunglasses there. Then he quickly became aware that he was wearing nothing but swim shorts. \n\n\"What's wrong honey?\" came a velvet voice Jeremy had never heard before. He swung his head over, seeing sand stretching in a sprawl for miles and people lounging across one of the nicest beaches he'd ever seen. The source of the voice, a black woman with long hair tied up in a ponytail, lay on the lounger next to him. She wore a tiny white bikini and the hot sun only served to highlight the sunscreen that shone from her beautiful skin. \n\n\"Jeremy?\" she asked, tipping her sunglasses with a hand that shone with a large diamond engagement ring and revealed azure eyes that looked concerned. \n\n\"Uh...\" was all he could say. She reached over, her hand clasping his wrist. He watched, detached, as an alien touch embraced him. He saw a ring on his own hand. \n\"You okay baby?\" she asked. \n\nHe drank in the beach and the sight of this woman. Suddenly, his old memory seemed faded. Was the rainy day he'd escaped into to flee Charlotte even real? Had he been dreaming? \n\nNo. If he was, he'd know this girl's name.\n\nBut he did know it. She was called Samantha.\n\n\"Yeah...I'm fine, I think.\" he said softly. She swung her legs off the lounger and sat up, her hand rubbing his chest. He looked down at abs he'd never owned and raised an eyebrow. But it somehow all felt so right.\n\n\"We can always head home if you like. Not like it's much of a walk, huh?\" She giggled, then added a sultry: \"I'll give you that massage you like...\"\n\nJeremy awoke again. This time, he was clad in a military uniform and sat in a room with a woman who looked similar to Charlotte, but she was crying. He blinked again, trying to retrieve memories of the dark-skinned beauty he'd just been with.\n\nBut it didn't come. \n\nEvery time he tried to blink his memories back, Jeremy found himself in a new life. A new world. A new choice. And every time, he began to understand that he was seeing himself if he'd made different decisions. \n\nIt wasn't until he remembered his son coming to him at night, handing him a drawing and whispering \"I love you daddy\" that Jeremy understood something.\n\nHe'd only ever made the right choices. \n\nHis own life was the right one.\n\nAnd with that realisation, he returned to it. Charlotte was still shrieking at him when he opened the door, but Jeremy smiled at her. Then, he went to see his son.\n\n\n\n" ]	9
	[WP] You somehow discover that you've accidentally been playing life on 'intermediate' mode. You decide to attempt 'easy' and 'hard' modes.	[ "It took about two years to get tired of [Easy] mode.\n\nIt took about four minutes to want it back.\n\nI mean, life was great. Super duper cherry on top great. In hindsight, boredom or \"the challenge of it\" were pretty lame excuses to try [Hard] mode. I guess I got cocky. I forgot how complicated the world is for most people, how pain can pile up, how little influence we really have in the grand scheme of things. Maybe I needed this last half hour. \n\nMaybe I'll do it again.\n\nMeanwhile I'm headed to the forest. On foot, I can't risk taking my car on the road yet. I always did like a good hike. I've got to get far enough away from these guys that I can turn my phone back on in a hurry if I need to. Again. Good grief, that was worthy of a panic attack.\n\nAt least I've got full battery. The back-up I'd never used. It never occurred to me the phone would be the first thing to go wrong. I think I'm always going to have a scar from that acid leak. \n\nEdge of the forest. It feels good to be away from people. Everybody. I can breathe again. Down to 2 bars. I don't think that matters.\n\nI guess the mix-up with the police dispatcher happened while my phone was deciding to melt, right after I hit the [Hard] toggle. A couple minutes later the sirens and lights hit the gate, and another couple later they bust through it and my front door. Loved that door. That glass was in the Vatican, you know.\n\nMeanwhile, the smoke alarms are deciding their batteries suck too. That noise is the worst. I know that's on purpose but still. It was crap icing on a crap cake of everything that could go wrong, going. And I'm going to need some new fish. That's probably the part that pisses me off the most. Jojo and Amber and Franklin D Fish and the crabs... Dammit.\n\nNo cell or data service now. [Easy] mode should clear my path of any serious dangers but it still makes me nervous. Or relieved, that I'm \"off the grid\". That was the point. Almost time to do this.\n\nThen it's back to the good life. I fix enough problems I don't feel guilty enjoying my time off. The Jet Set crowd isn't as annoying as you'd think. I'll probably get a settlement offer from a very apologetic police chief in the next day or so, and a few job offers. I feel like crossing Australia off my bucket list so they'll likely dangle a huge check for the \"terrible inconvenience\" of relocating.\n\nFolks I know probably heard some nasty rumors about me that are already debunked. Sort of like the cops. The shooter they were after was probably real, and I hope everybody got out OK. I'll find out later whether they goofed up on my street name or my name or what, but good luck to whoever wound up in a spitting contest with that swat team.\n\nI think I'm far enough away from everybody. Nature has been friendly enough so far, one of those warm, light breeze days. My confidence that [Easy] mode is back on for good is rising. OK. Let's turn off the phone.\n\nI'm going to keep an eye out for a while, and keep this thing close to me, just in case. Logically, I should be able to smash the thing and stay stuck in [Easy] mode forever. But my faith in logic has been shaken with all the unlikely events of the past couple years. I've tried hard to understand it, or figure out where it came from, or find someone else who found that buried sub-menu, but so far I haven't \"lucked\" into any answers. Maybe there aren't any. I need to just flow with it.\n\nI swear to god that's Jennifer Lopez yelling to me from a hot air balloon. What are the odds?" ]	1
	[WP] A drug that almost no one uses today eventually becomes the "caffeine" of the near future.	[ "MODE\n\nOn the morning of Tuesday, April 15th, 2064, at precisely six o’clock in the morning, Timothy McMillan passed from sleep into wakefulness without any incident whatsoever. Timothy, who was “Tim” to his co-workers, “Timmy” to his wife and mother, and “Mr. McMillan” to his bosses, got out of bed without so much as a yawn and made his way into the dimly lit bathroom. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon outside of the small single-story Unit, and so Timothy performed his morning ritual by the soft early glow from the bathroom’s single sky light. Fifteen minutes past six o’clock, he emerged from the bathroom, shivering from the cool air and the cold shower. After brief consideration, he dressed in a pair of dark pants whose color of origin was indiscernible, but could have possibly been a blue or grey at some point in the distant past. They were followed shortly thereafter by a long sleeved shirt of lighter hue but similar quality.\n\nTwenty minutes past six o’clock, on the morning of Timothy McMillan’s second workday of the week, he emerged from his bedroom and into the slightly larger room that served various purposes for the Unit. Like the bedroom and bathroom, the only light that entered was that of the rising sun, from a small window set into the center of the room, and an additional sky light overhead. At one end of the room, closest to the bedroom, a sad looking desk supported the weight of several equally worn books and some writing implements. On the wall beside it was a rectangle of plastic that jutted out slightly, a single green light blinking rhythmically. At the far end of the room was a cabinet and a shelf with a pour-over coffee contraption, flanked by a few coats hanging on hooks next to a door. In the middle of the room, a plastic chair huddled under a small dining table, while in another sat a small woman who sipped at a steaming beverage while listening intently to a small plastic radio on top of the table. The soft sound of digitized conversation filled the small room.\n\n“Morning” \n\nTimothy’s wife glanced up at him briefly, before returning her attention to the radio. “Morning, Timmy. Coffee is done, I added your Mode already.”\n\nTimothy walked past her to the coffee maker, grabbing a cup from the shelf as he did. The pot of coffee rested underneath a small metal funnel, full of wet, spent grinds. Next to it was a small tinfoil blister packet, with the words “Union Ration” printed boldly in red. It rested beside a small plastic sack with same red print, and an additional line that read “Coffee”. Timothy considered these only briefly; his chief concern was the small pot beneath the little pour-over, and his stomach growled painfully as he poured himself a cup. The brown liquid inside steamed invitingly, and Timothy could smell a hint of chalky sweetness from the Moded beverage as he brought it back to the table.\n\n“Breakfast is served” he said with a humorless half-grin. “You know Kat, I was talking with some guys from over at the Plant yesterday, during Union mealtime, just talkin’ some shit you know?” He paused as she tapped the radio, lowering its volume. “They were on about some new Mode report, and how you shouldn’t dose with coffee or something like that.”\n\nKat gave him a look, one that feigned patience, but only just. “Timmy, people’ve been saying that for years.” She took a sip and continued. “The Union rep would love to stop rationing coffee, I’m sure, but can you imagine? No more coffee on top of everything else around here would be too much for me.”\n\nTimothy considered that for a while, drinking his own coffee. “Yeah, I hope nothing comes of it. Coffee definitely gets me Moded quicker anyway.”\n\n“Mmh” Kat adjusted the radio, and the voice of some daybreak caster or other rose back to a conversational volume. \n\nTimothy sipped at his drink again, and looked out of the window absently at the side of the neighboring Unit. He waited for the concoction of morning stimulants to do their work.\n\n----\n\nIt was ten minutes past seven o’clock as Timothy McMillan bounced along the cracked roadways of the Suburb, along with the fifty or so of his peers scheduled to work that Tuesday. The vehicle, a long, grey mass transport model, accelerated smoothly and silently past the innumerable rows of corrugated metal Units, staggered slightly to fit as many of the L-shaped buildings as possible into the small lots. \n\nThe sun hang in a liminal space, trapped between the endless black grid of paneled rooftops and the low-hanging haze that obscured the sky. Timothy briefly considered that this might be the brightest it got today, and hoped his Unit battery would get at least a little charge before the rays became ineffective for the day. That thought quickly passed, and was replaced by a feeling of slight giddiness. His fingertips tingled, and he licked his suddenly dry lips. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.\n\n“Kickin’ in this morning, yeah?” The man seated next to him was dressed almost identically to Timothy, and the words “Jefferson Electrical” were stitched in white on the breast of his coat.\n\nTimothy regarded him silently for a moment, lips tingling. “Mhm. still have some coffee rations left for the week. Much faster come-up when you mix, yeah? You know how it goes.”\n\nThe man grunted his agreement. “Much better mixed. Can’t stand the taste of it straight anyways.” He scratched his nose absently. “Gotta hope there ain’t anymore shortages this month, the situation with the Republic and all.” With that he turned slightly and crossed his arms, signaling the end of the casual exchange.\n\nTimothy returned his attention back to the window. He wasn’t aware of the Republic situation, but was hesitant to revive the small talk with his neighbor, and instead he stayed quiet, focused on the nothingness that blurred by outside his window.\n\n----\n\nFifteen minutes until ten o’clock on the morning of April 15th, 2064, Timothy McMillan sat at his work space at Jefferson Electrical, surrounded by an explosion of electronic detritus, poking at a bit of exposed wire with a smoldering pen-iron. To his left and right other men and women performed a similar electronic surgery, the smoke from dozens of workstations pooling against the low ceiling, swirling up into sky light recesses and back out again. The little clear air that remained was thick and hot and humid with the sweat of working bodies. The atmosphere was electrified with the tension of furious concentration, and the room was very quiet.\n\nTimothy mopped the sweat away from his eyes and plucked the paper mask from his mouth, tucking the elastic under his chin. “This one’s scrap, Jones.”\n\nA tall figure pushing a wheeled bin between rows of workers made his way over to where Timothy was seated. The man moved quickly, as if eager to impress those watching with his ability to maneuver the wheeled container. His uniform was similar to the other workers’, but ragged in a number of places, and few patches of dirty skin peeked from behind holes worn through the material. He wore a pair of scuffed eyeglasses along with a mask similar to Timothy’s, which he pulled from his face as he approached. \n\n“Right then Tim,” the man called Jones scooped Timothy’s project hastily into the container, where it clattered in amongst similar failures.\n\nWithout pause, Timothy pulled another battered device from under the table and set it out onto the table in front of him. His fingers flew over the device, removing screws and clips that held its internal mechanisms in place while he simultaneously read from an attached sticker, which detailed the necessary repairs. Jones wheeled the bin away from the table, towards the opposite end of the room, but he had already been forgotten. \n\n----\n\nAt precisely half past six o’clock, Timothy emerged from the Jefferson Electric’s building into the cool pre-dusk air. His hair was damp from sweat, and both of his eyes seemed to recede into his skull behind dark bags of skin. One twitched perceptibly as he made the short walk towards the long grey transport vehicle that had been parked since morning. Most of the others from the workshop streamed towards it as well, shuffling quietly as a loose crowd. The sun once again filled the small space between stripped earth and polluted sky.\n\nTimothy sat against the window, eyes closed and forehead pressed to the cool glass, breathing soft and shallow breaths. The transport filled steadily, until finally the vehicle closed its doors with a low electric whine, and slowly pulled onto the single road leading towards a tall fence that circled into the distance around the squat, corrugated building. A gate rose to meet the transport as it accelerated, opening outward to let the transport pass without preamble. Just outside, small grey forms stirred at the approach of the large electric vehicle.\n\nAs the transport moved beyond the metal linked gate, the grey masses resolved into several figures, covered in tattered blankets and a layer of grey sooty grime. One held up a piece of dirty paperboard, several words smeared in a dark color over its surface.\n\nNEED FOOD NEED CLOTHES WILL WORK\n\nTimothy’s gaze slid from the wretches off into the distance after a moment of quiet, resigned staring. The small group outside the transport got the same response from everyone inside, and half a dozen dirty faces followed the vehicle as it passed. Timothy looked back at them once more.\n\nThe figure holding the crude sign frowned in disgust and flipped the sign around in the air, bony wrists thrust high as if to scream at the indifferent passengers in a way that their voice could not.\n\nOn the back of the board was another message, only two words this time:\n\nJUNKIE BASTARDS" ]	1
	[WP] you're a fortune teller, but you have no idea how to actually tell their fortune. Instead you just randomly guess and always get it right.	[ "It had been about three weeks now, and every time I would see people coming back, telling me it had worked, and I was as amazed as them. I wasn't sure what I was doing, so I never really expected it to take off. I guess that people were tossing my name around because every day I'd have more customers.\n\nThen it happened. \n\nI couldn't live like this anymore. Everyday more and more. The guilt started consuming me from the inside, so many people had trusted me, and I had lied to them, but I was the only one that knew. I had to stop this before it got out of hand, before somebody had their heart broken, or lost their job, or god forbid, something worse. \n\nAnd so, as more sleepless nights went on, I thought of more ways to shut down my shop. At first I sent a note to the local newspaper, anonymously exposing myself, but the publisher who, to my surprise, had already been a customer rejected my claims saying that their predictions had come true.\n\nAt this point my life was an absolute hell. So when I was driving back home I thought of an infallible plan. I would give a prediction doomed to fail. So I did. The next day, a young man came into my office. He walked in very calmly, and as I grabbed his palm, he asked \"what do you see?\". I lied, and while breathing heavily and unsteadily said \"Oh no. Oh no.\" And repeated that a few times. He, obviously worried, asked \"what's wrong\" \"I-I-I'ts just, I've never seen this before\" I stuttered. I knew he was scared, because he said \"What did you see?\" \"This is horrible\" At this point he became mad and slammed his fist on the table and yelled: \"WHAT DID YOU SEE?\" I, while maintaining character to keep it as believable as possible said \" You will die tomorrow \" He was shocked, and nervously asked \"h-how\" \"You will get run over by an orange car, the driver will be a middle aged man, and it will be hailing.\" I said. \" No way, that's impossible, you're full of crap\" He said while leaving my office. It was done, he had believed it, now all I had to do was wait for him to come back tomorrow and call me out for the fraud I was. But the next day, the only thing I saw was the news report, describing the death of 23 year old Kevin Greyson who didn't survive the collision against a Honda Civic." ]	1
	[WP] You are an alien conspiracy theorist that believes that the humans from stories and movies really exist, but nobody believes your "proof"	[ "I’m in trouble. Or in a pithy expression I learned from these people, “up Shit Creek”. My supervisors sent me to this planet to interview the subjects of a documentary we received on our planet. It was our favorite of many we received, portraying to us a species (they’re called Humans) with an interesting blend of compassion, hatred and deceit. Fascinating beings, we thought. So I’ve been here two months now, and have verified that the documentary we saw is a fairly good representation of the collective character of the humans. \n\nI have two problems. The first I realized after about three days of research, trying to locate the subjects of what I’ll call the “film”. Although we know it took 20 of this planet’s years for the radio waves to travel to our planet, and fifty years for me to travel here, we assumed I would still be able to interview the principals. I soon found out that humans have shockingly short life spans! Every one of the principals, and even all of the minor participants I could identify, are dead! One of the principals was even dead before the signals reached us! What a shocking irony.\n\nSo the next-best thing I could think of was to travel to the site of the filming and interview prominent citizens of the city, which gave its name to the film. As I walked the bustling streets, I was sure I was in the right place, as the crowds of people evidenced all the expected diversity of human types. I saw very few military uniforms, but quickly realized that in human terms the war had been over for a long time. After several futile hours of strolling and failing to find the site of the film, I got connected to the native electronic information resource. I was still unable to find the name I was looking for, other than a reference to a city on a different continent.\n\nMy ill-fated solution was to stop at a place called a “Tourist Information Center”. It was my understanding that I qualified as a “tourist”. In my no-doubt perfect English I inquired as to the filming site. The woman seemed bemused. “I’m sorry, sir, it doesn’t exist.”\n\n“Has it been torn down already? It’s only been seventy years.”\n\n“No, sir, it never existed in this city.”\n\n“But the name of the documentary was ‘Casablanca’. Am I not in the same Casablanca?”\n\nShe made the sound that I had identified as laughter, though it was much different from the way we express amusement. “Sir, ‘Casablanca' was filmed entirely in Hollywood.”\nI was astonished. Hollywood was the name of the city I had come across on the “Internet” moments ago. “How could have it been in Hollywood?”\n\n‘Many movies were made in Hollywood, and still are.” \n\n“Are movies a particular kind of film? Different from documentaries?”\n\nThe woman laughed again. “Of course. Movies are fiction. Documentaries are fact. (Usually.)”\n\nThis didn’t help me. “Please explain fiction.”\n\nFrom the woman’s look I began to worry that I was blowing my cover. “Stories,” she said. “Made up. Never happened. Guys wrote down some events that they thought would be entertaining, wrote down words for characters to say, and hired actors to read the words. From what we call a ‘script’. In Hollywood.”\n\nI was definitely blowing my cover, so I slunk away and found a quiet corner to muse. Fiction. Not real. Probably all of the films we had intercepted were “movies”. My bosses were not going to be happy to find that out. This is my second problem. What to do?\n\nNext stop Hollywood. I still had to film some interviews. On the brief plane flight I came up with the idea to hire scriptwriters and actors to make “fictional” interviews! Surely I could do that in Hollywood. Nobody back home would know. It might even be fun.\n\n“Great idea, Mr. Zyzzx!” said the first studio executive I spoke to. It was a small, independent studio, because I was worried about my budget. “Although it will be difficult to find a convincing double for Mr. Bogart. Very distinctive face and voice. Mr. Henried will not be so easy either. Lots of lovely women here who could play Ms. Bergman. Would you like to be a consultant for the script?”\n\n“I guess so,” I replied, not sure what I was getting into. I left with a promise of a priced proposal within days.\n\n“Million? You did say million? Of dollars?” I was in near despair. While my expedition planners had known I would need money and devised an easy way to get it, I had found out already that it was very risky to withdraw large sums. I’d nearly gotten arrested once.\n\n“I’m sorry, I just can’t afford that,” I told Mr. Altman. “Is there a way I can get it done cheaper? A lot cheaper?”\n\n“Why sure there is, I have friends in another city who can do it for a quarter of what I can. I’ll put in a call for you.”\n\nWhile I thought I might have detected him laughing at me just a little, he was so kind I didn’t like to be suspicious. So here I am off to Mumbai.\n", "\"I'm leaving you.\"\n\nSlyrenssus's four eyes blinked, incredulous. It was all so sudden. One minute, he'd been typing up another post for his blog. Now, his spouse was walking in and dropping this massive bombshell on the carpet, like a particularly bad-tempered Schmooz.\n\n\"Wha-?\" was all Slyrenssus could let out, before she cut him off again.\n\n\"I'm done, Sylrenssus,\" Sylissa said. \"I've already got the holo-contracts sorted out. They'll want us in court before the week's over.\"\n\nSylrenssus's sat up. He prickled, quite literally, for every scale on his body bristled with nervous energy. Sweat began to build up around his eyes and nostrils.\n\n\"You're... serious?\" he said. \"Where in Zassafrax's name did this come from?\"\n\n\"You can't tell? Typical.\"\n\n\"The marriage seemed fine from where I planted my talons. I mean, we haven't even visited the psychiatrist since -\"\n\n\"Our marriage is not fine, Sylrenssus!\" Sylissa shouted. \"It's been going downhill ever since you returned from that godsdamn travel program!\"\n\nSylrenssus planted a claw against his desk and stood. He attempted to leer down at Sylissa, but even with his toes providing a few more inches, he could barely clear the top of her head fringe.\n\n\"It's my work, isn't it?\" Sylrenssus said. \n\n\"Work? Is coming up with made-up stories work? Is quitting your job to do nothing but write to some nutjobs on the internet work?\"\n\n\"None of it is made up! None of it!\"\n\nSylissa threw her claws up in the air. \"You're still at it! Still talking about \"humans\", that their \"skyscrapers\" and \"cars\" and \"potato chips\" are real.\"\n\n\"But they are real, Sylissa! I've seen it myself. I've tasted chips with my own tongues! And the photos -\"\n\n\"Photos, vid-recordings, and random pieces of junk,\" Sylissa said. She shook her head. \"All of which were debunked by the science committee.\"\n\n\"That's cause their in league with the humans,\" Sylrenssus said. He slammed a claw against his forehead. \"Haven't you read any of my theories?\"\n\n\"No! That's because they're a load of Schmooz fodder!\"\n\nSylrenssus gasped, but Sylissa kept going.\n\n\"It was one thing, when you only talked about it. When you still worked for my dad at the ministry, and the idea of \"humans\" being real was just a fantasy to waste time with. I could tolerate that. But now you've lost it, Sylrenssus. You're writing all this crap about mind control beams, pheromones in crops, and humans. Humans humans humans! That's all you talk and write about!\"\n\n\"It's important that we know!\" Sylrenssus cried. \"I'm doing this for your sake and mine! The sacrifices I've made, everything I've done is for the greater good of our species!\"\n\n\"And what about my sacrifices?!\" Sylissa shouted back. \"Watching while my husband quits his job to play pretend with people he's never met? Becoming the laughing stock of society? Standing by as the bank took everything from us, our old house, our car, and our child license just so you could fund another expedition to the Milky Wave? And tell me, Sylrenssus, when was the last time we talked? When was the last time I was even in the same room as you? And, gods, the last time we fucked? How long ago was that?\"\n\nSylrenssus was nearly choking on the sweat building up in his nostrils. He sucked it down, and shot a baleful grin at his wife.\n\n\"It's always been about you, hasn't it?\" he growled. \"All these short-term things, these material possessions. When will you see that it's all worthless?\"\n\n\"It's not just me,\" Sylissa said. Her next words came in a quieter cadence. \"It's you too, Sylrenssus. I loved you once. When you proposed to me onboard that tour shuttle, just as that star imploded into a supernova. You scheduled it all, remember? You compared me to that wondrous, expanding beauty, and told me that my scales surpassed all of it! We exchanged fluid under the three moons, and vowed to make a family! Did all that mean nothing to you? Did the things you did, the things that made you the lizard I loved, mean nothing to you?\"\n\nSylrenssus had nothing more to say. The holo-contracts had already been set, and if Sylissa was too blind to understand the importance behind his work, to understand the truth, then, well, she could go back to living the lie she wanted.\n\n\"That's it?\" she said. \"Nothing more to say?\"\n\nSylrenssus stepped back, sat in his chair, and turned away. His claws groped for the keyboard, and began to type. \n\nA sob of despair shook Sylrenssus's auditory canal, followed by pounding feet and the sound of metal door being slammed shut. A few minutes of silence passed, before his hands slipped off the keyboard. Clear liquid rolled down from his eyes, staining the desk with dark, bulbous shapes. \n\nHe leaned back, and let the tears flow.\n\n", "The first thing they told us on our tour of Earth was not to touch the humans. You can look but you can’t touch -- they had problems in the past with touching. The next thing, you must stay in South East Asia. Sorry, the Americas and Europe were closed, possibly for good. \n\nSometimes I do think I’m crazy. My ex-wife Sherry had something along those lines when she slammed the door to leave for her sister's house across town, that had been five years ago. Now I sit with my clippings, you know, all crazy like -- but I’m not crazy. We, Sherry and I, had visited Earth during our honeymoon. You know it, cheesedick little planet in the milky way system -- a few big land masses and some ice. I expected a little love-making, a few nice cocktails in Ko Samui, maybe something more but not what came about, not this. I stumbled onto something big.\n\nIt was my honeymoon, I had just left my Sherry alone in the condo and was heading down to Hat Rin beach to do some people watching. I caught the glimpse of some car lights which I thought to be odd. These were perhaps the first real cars I had seen on the island; most of the locals used motorbikes given the condition of the roads. I skirted the perimeter of a parking lot until I came to a spot where some bushes stood to give me a bit of cover, about fifty feet from the road and a hundred to them. Between the leaves, feeling a bit foolish being hidden, I spied. I realized that what I thought were building lights were actually big spotlights, probably to keep the area nice and lit for whatever deal was going down.\n\nI heard someone yell a codeword that sounded like “action” but I wasn’t sure. That’s when I saw the muzzle flashes of the pistols and the people running in all directions. Clap. Clap. Clap. It seemed like people were falling to their death and shaking about, or they were thrown into the air by some powerful explosion that I was unable to see. Concussion weapons probably, something from off planet.\n\nScared as I was of being shoot I kept my head down. I stayed down for minutes, no sound of a police car -- where was law enforcement? Is there law enforcement in Thailand? When I looked up a group of men and a few women were cleaning up the scene. The people who were shot had been dragged off.\n\nWhat a peculiar sight. I dared not go nearer but I didn’t want to leave. There had obviously been a murder of some kind and I wanted to get closer but there were an inexplicably large number of people milling around in the light.\n\nIt felt like a few hours had gone by, I saw a few of the cars pull out and the other lights go down. In small groups the people left as though nothing had happened. Amazing. The perfect crime. \n\nI followed the last group of people on foot. I was afraid that would see me but I couldn’t let them disappear forever. I couldn’t make out their faces and they rarely turned back but to say something quickly to someone while walking. I could tell what they were wearing as they turned onto the main street in which the condo access was located. Mostly black outfits and some rugged looking leather get-ups. I thought they would walk into the condos near my house but they stopped short at the “Green Mango,” a sloppy and overpriced nightclub. “Nicest in town” the human with the cheap watches had said.\n\nThe club was mostly empty at that time of night. I figured I would blend in either way, even if the floor was less occupied, you know just a guy at the bar. They noticed immediately, I must have been looking at them too long or something because one of the men, he was wearing ripped up clothes and looked like he had been freshly wiped of blood. \n\n“What would you like to have signed,” he said. \n“What?” \n“You’ve been looking over, I know you want something signed -- you’ve been giving us that look for a few minutes; just lurking at that table?” \n\nI panicked, they must have known something. Signed? Was this another word like action? A word that could get me killed. The man was short, very short. He had brown hair and clean face. He didn’t look like a killer, maybe someone military but almost too short. I had been a fool to follow them and now I was wrapped up in a deal gone wrong and maybe they thought I was somehow connected to the men they killed.\n\n“Here, I signed this coaster. See here, Tom Cruise.” \n“Oh, OK. Thank you.” \n\nOh Jesus. Can I just walk away? The idea had seemed crazy but what else was I supposed to do. Maybe he thought I was a messenger. Maybe I can walk with whatever this signature is and grab sherry to depart on the next shuttle off earth. This was deep. I was in deep.\n\nI froze. Smiling, just smiling like an idiot. I felt one foot move as though I wouldn’t be able to step down once it was in the air. Then the next, and again the first, and the next. I was walking away.\n\n“No thank you? What’s with this guy? I hate fans” \n\nJust keep walking. There’s nothing more to do, let them shoot me.\nBut the bullet never came.\nI got back to the room and Sherry freaked out. She didn’t believe what had happened. Called me crazy. Moved out to her sisters. \n\nI guess I should have let it go once we got back to Gerald-IV. I thought I would let it go, but then it happened. I was walking down the street in Shinatown near OIve3asvsrf3 Street, through the black market with counterfeit electronics, when I saw it. Yes, clear as day. There was the leader of the killers. The man from the Green Mango. Action. Signature. The code man.\n\nI felt an overwhelming fear that I was going mad. Was this just my imagination? I plucked the picture and case from the shelf.\n\n“Do you know this human!” I said.\n“Yeah, of course. Tom Cruise, super famous on Earth. Obscure shit, though, not something you would watch for pleasure.” \n“No! No! This man is a killer! A killer!” \n“Either buy it or put it back, I don’t got all day buddy.”\n" ]	3
A manager mistakes you for an employee because you are dressed similar to employees. The manager thinks your performance is poor, and although you've attempted to inform this manager that you do not work at this store, he continues to attempt to write you up. You soon find out, he doesn't work at the store, either...	[WP] A manager pulls you asides, berates you for your performance at a store you don't work for, but you soon realize...neither does he.	[ "You're holding a different frying pan in each hand, wondering if a craving for hash browns was worth the trip to the store at six in the morning. One pan has a ceramic non-stick coating and the other has a Teflon non-stick coating. You're awake enough to remember that one of those kills parrots, but not awake enough to remember which. Your sister would probably cancel her vacation just to disown you if her cockatiel died under your care. As you stand there, wondering how it came to be that you own zero pans in the first place, a woman asks you where the bathroom is. You point with the ceramic-coated pan toward the back of the store. She makes a huffy noise as she walks away. Rude much?\n\nYour sister had given you an hour-long lecture on what her bird can and cannot eat. You realize that she never mentioned potatoes. What if birds are allergic to potato fumes or something? You really regret leaving your phone in the car. An announcement booms across the overhead speakers, startling you enough that you drop the ceramic pan on the floor. You don't hear what it says as you stoop to pick up the pan and accidentally knock over a display of lemon juicers. You swear under your breath and chuck all of the little wooden things back into the box. You've always thought that they look like sadistic buttplugs.\n\nA guy in an overcoat and a ball cap sidles into the aisle, glancing at the whisks and slotted spoons like he'd been personally victimized by every one of them. You try to ignore him because he's giving you really creepy vibes, but your mouth opens up of its own accord and says \"Hey, do you know if Teflon kills parrots?\" \n\nThe guy turns sharply to you like he hadn't known you were there, but did not want to look like you had surprised him. \n\n\"What?\" he asks.\n\n\"It's either ceramic or Teflon. I can't remember.\" You wave both pans at him and he looks like he wants to hit you over the head with one of them. You hear someone shouting at the other end of the store. You turn your head to hear it better, but you still can't make out what is being said. When you turn back, the guy has stripped off his overcoat and hat, thrown them on a shelf, and is standing two inches away from you.\n\n\"Jesus Christ dude, what the fuck are you doing?\" One of your pans, maybe the ceramic one, swings backwards and dents a box containing a blender. Shit. \n\n\"As if your rude behavior and lackadaisical attitude weren't reason enough for you to get written up, now you're defacing merchandise!\" The guy is yelling in a completely different voice now and has you pressed up against the blenders with a single finger wagging in your face. You open your mouth to tell him that you don't know what in the fresh hell he is talking about, but he actually puts his finger over your lips to shut you up. \n\n\"I've been getting complaints about you for weeks! You're dismissive of customers, you can't stock a shelf to save your life, and you can't even clock in on time. If you can't pull your head out of your sorry ass, you're out of here by next week.\" A chorus of thoughts rings through your head, \"I'm gonna bite this guy's fucking finger off.\" and \"It's Friday morning, how the hell do I clean up my act by next week?\" blending together to form a maelstrom of confusion.\n\n\"I'll buy the blender if that would make up for it,\" you offer stupidly. You already have a blender. A way nicer blender than the one you dented. Shit, do parrots get agitated by blender noises? \n\n\"Gonna use your employee discount on damaged merchandise? Paying you a salary has already robbed this store of enough money,\" he sneers. He pulls a notepad out of his pants pocket, a pen out of his shirt pocket, and starts writing something down furiously.\n\n\"What 'employee discount'? I don't work here, man.\" You clank your pans together nervously. \n\n\"A likely story. Who voluntarily wears a polo in that color?\" he asks, gesturing dismissively toward you without looking up from his notebook. You've noticed that the shouting from the other side of the store is getting louder. He's noticed too, and swears under his breath. He throws the notepad down on the ground, picks it up again, and then grabs his clothing from the shelf.\n\nTwo security guards and a cop race around the corner into your aisle. One of them reaches for his belt just as your verbal assaulter is turning the corner. In an act of bravery you will never again emulate, you whip your Teflon pan at the possible criminal as hard as you can. It hurtles through the air like a cannonball and takes the guy out at the knees. You think you hear something crack. The assembled criminal catchers stare in shock for a single moment before charging after the dude again. They have him in handcuffs before you even take another breath.\n\nYou wait around for a bit to see if they want a statement from you, or maybe to tell you off for throwing merchandise. A man in a suit has come into the aisle and is clucking dismissively about how bad Teflon is for your health.\n\nAnd then you realize that you could have just gone to IHOP.", "You gotta act like you own the place, as my old man used to say.\n\nPeople like confidence. He said that too, and ten years in this racket had taught me that it was more just a platitude. It was a fact of life.\n\n\"These would look absolutely wonderful,\" I said to her. She was blonde, with the hands of a forty year old, and the clothes of a woman ten years younger.\n\nA man shuffled over to join her. He looked at me suspiciously and put a protective hand on her bottom. \"What's up darlin'?\"\n\n\"This young man was just showing me these diamonds. Aren't they wonderful, Henry?\"\n\nHenry grunted. He seemed to have little appreciation for diamonds. Or maybe he'd just seen the price tag.\n\nThey moved on, and I glanced at my watch. Five minutes to go time.\n\n\"Hey, you.\"\n\nI let the brash voice pass over my shoulder. Always avoid confrontation.\n\nConfrontation, however, wasn't avoiding me. It tapped me on the shoulder, and said, \"Yeah, you. I'm talking to you.\"\n\nI turned. A store manager. \n\n\"I'd like a word with you,\" she said.\n\nThe clock on the wall behind her said four minutes and 33 seconds. It had better be a quick word.\n\nI let her lead me through a door that said employees only. On the plus side, she didn't know I didn't work there. You don't lead fake employees behind the scenes of a diamond shop.\n\n\"What the hell do you think you're doing?\" she demanded.\n\n\"I'm sorry?\" I said.\n\n\"I said, 'What the hell do you think you're doing?\" She hadn't left me any the wiser.\n\nConfidence. \"I was selling diamonds,\" I snapped. \"I would have made that sale, too, if you hadn't barged in there like that. Now let me go. There's still a chance I might be able to salvage it.\"\n\nI turned, looking down at my watch. One minute thirty.\n\n\"No,\" she said. \"You're not going anywhere.\"\n\nI turned on her, ready to give her the stare like my old man had taught me, and stared right down the barrel of her Glock.\n\n\"Take me to the vault,\" she said.\n\nI hestitated.\n\n\"NOW.\"\n\nThe vault. I knew where the vault was. I just couldn't get to it.\n\n\"Accessing the vault requires a retinal scan,\" I said. \"Only employees-\"\n\nThe tip of the Glock's silencer poked me in the ribs. \"Why do you think, you're here, you idiot? You have eyeballs, don't you?\"\n\nI did, and they glanced down at my wrist. One minute. I suppose it couldn't hurt.\n\n\"Why do you keep looking at your watch?\"\n\nConfidence. \"Just checking the security schedule.\"\n\nShe looked worried. \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"The security guard changes in ten seconds time,\" I said. \"That gives us a window of 1 minute and 29 seconds to get into the vault without being seen. Come on.\"\n\n\"Why do you- Hey, wait up.\"\n\nI led her around the corner, down a set of steps, and into the basement. We got to a large door and a retinal scanner.\n\nShe waved the gun. \"Go on then.\"\n\nSix seconds.\n\n\"Actually,\" I said, \"I have a small confession to make-\"\n\nThe vault door exploded.\n\nShe was lying in the rubble, coughing. I picked up the Glock from where she'd dropped it.\n\nHer mouth moved, but I couldn't hear what she was saying over the ringing.\n\n\"I'm sorry, darlin',\" I said. I stuck the Glock in my pocket. \"These weren't the eyeballs you were looking for.\"" ]	2
Bonus points if the dark masters is one well known person from each genre of music.	[WP] In this world, your power is equal to your musical talent. You are the chosen one, prophesied to topple the dark masters of the world.	[ "Edgar entered Valtheim's lair, clutching his viola and bow. Valtheim was the master of classical music, his skill with a piano unmatched across the universe. He was able to enslave the residents of the Mortenia region using only his ivory-keyed beast. \n\nAs the boy walked, a haunting melody resonated through the brass hall. The keys were expertly played, each one in direct contrast to the last, and not a single mistake was made. Valtheim would be difficult, more difficult than Michael, Lord of Pop.\n\n\"Greetings, child. I see you practice the classical arts as well. Have you come to be trained under the great Valtheim?\"\n\n\"I come not for your lessons, evil one. I am here to challenge you! Your tyranny will no longer stand.\"\n\nThe piano master gave a sinister laugh. \"And who are you to stop me?\"\n\n\"Edgar Clarke, the chosen one.\"\n\nSuddenly, Valtheim's symphony stopped.\n\n\"You speak of the prophecy of angels, do you? That one with the power of the heavens will strike us all down? That tired, old myth?\" he said, gazing at the arrogant child before him.\n\n\"I was trained by the archangels themselves. The prophecy is no myth.\"\n\n\"The archangels are fools. Music can not simply be trained. It is the culmination of our emotion, our passion, our hatred, our sadness. Music is the artist, a piece of their very soul. Music is absolution.\"\n\n\"Music is what we make it.\"\n\n\"But what is music without emotion?\"\n\n\"Power.\"\n\n\"Power is a flame. And without the spark of passion, it is simply ember. Your self-righteousness blinds you from seeing this truth. I will accept your challenge. But when you lie lifeless in my concert hall, you can blame only yourself.\"\n\nValtheim began his symphony, a melodic show of emotion. Joy, confusion, sadness, fear, rage. With each note, Edgar's life flashed before his eyes, searing pain rushing through his body.\n\nJoy, confusion, sadness, fear, rage.\n\nAfter an eternity, the symphony stopped. The chosen one fell to the ground, bleeding from his mouth.\n\n\"Now do you see?\" Valtheim said. \"Emotion is music, and music is emotion. Without passion, without joy, without anger, without sadness, music is simply noise. Music is absolution, and your absolution will come swiftly.\"\n\nAnd everything went black.\n\n*****\nFor more rushed pieces of trash, visit /r/Picklestasteg00d." ]	1
This is the premise for the manga/novel Three Days of Happiness, but the idea is pretty interesting so do with it what you will.	[WP] There is a store that can buy three things from you: your time, your health, and your lifespan.	[ "As I sat down in the chair, I glanced nervously around the room. The person sitting across the desk from me looked intimidating, her gaze fixed intently on me. She was a professional, and the various diplomas and certificates adorning her walls screamed of her qualifications. As she looked over my file, a look of dissatisfaction crept over her face.\n\n\"I'm a little worried that you experiences haven't prepared you for what we offer,\" she said. \n\n\"What do you mean?\" I asked.\n\n\"You can think of this place like a store. We're going to take your time and a good 5-7 years of your life. You'll also probably feel anxious, sick, sad, angry, stressed, frustrated, and overworked the entire time you work with us, so I guess you could say your health, too.\"\n\n\"So what do I get out of all of this?\" I asked.\n\n\"You'll get a degree and some good training which can only be used in a very competitive, very niche market. Job prospects are low and burnout is high, and all it costs is some of your time, health, and lifespan.\"\n\nI scoffed.\n\n\"What is this place? Hell?\"\n\n\"Well, close,\" she said. \"It's grad school.\"" ]	1
Your DNA is the gene set that every other set of DNA is point to for the answer. PS: second attempt at a writing prompt, botched the first one, have fun with this one!	[WP] After many millennia humans find out the true reason for their existence. Your DNA is a message from our ancestors that is vital to the survival of the human race.	[ "\"No one believed me\" is the mad cackle in the throats of many a fool who saw something they shouldn't believe after a lifetime of trying to tell people a thing they couldn't believe. But as I sat in the study of my father's broken down palace, a once-stately Victorian styled mansion typical of old New England wealth sacrificed to the gods of infatuation as evidenced by the advanced state of disrepair the estate had succumbed to, my very lips mouth those words to the manila envelope I now held in my hand. Indeed it was infatuation that had brought me here, and I knew by the bulkiness of the package that my sample had been returned. Of course it had been returned! I was right all along and thus what I had sent for analysis was a trade secret now, legally requiring it to be returned should my findings have proven right. \n\nThe thin flickering light afforded to me by the ancient nob and tube electrical system, who's antiquity was superseded only by its lack of maintenance, put a strain on my optic nerves that exacerbated my throbbing head so I took my aching eyes down the hall to the one part of the house that would not be condemned by even the most zealous contractor. The lab was the gluttonous demon that feasted of the succor of my life, my father's life too, and was a well nourished contrast to the anemic state of the rest of the house. The creaking of the hallway floor boards, and the must of mildew gave way to the acerbic brilliance of the laboratory's antibacterial UV light as the airlock door hissed and slid open. I grumbled at the decontamination protocol's delay and briskly stepped through towards the central lab station which served as the brain-center of the whole operation. \n\nCarelessly clearing the station with a swipe of my arms, papers and beakers clattered to the floor and I paused, savoring this final moment of child-like ignorance before the thin glue seal of the envelope tore open and removed any lingering doubt that may have been rattling in the back of my mind. Not that there was much. The sequencing we had been able to do at the home lab had been conclusive enough, my father and me. \n\nAdenine, guanine, cytosine, and thymine; the four bases of our genetic structure, a lattice of divine elegance which provided the foundations of all known life so profound in its complexity that it took the greatest of computers years to decode the mysteries of our bodies, we macroscopic children of Eden. But Eden's fruit withered in long ages past, as wrinkly as our bodies were destined to become, and still no one until my father had even the slightest incling as to the message hidden still deeper. Modern science could be forgiven for chalking this up merely to emergent order as all best evidence suggested was prudent, but there was a cosmic joke that set the reptile center of my brain stem into riotous laughter at the thought of how brief our experiment had really been. It took years to decode enough information to know if you'd get a mole on your cheek, but it took mere weeks to unleash the message that would empower mankind to probable godhood once we knew what we were looking at. \n\nI tore open the envelope slowly, my sick delight at having proven those want wits in mainstream academia wrong given way to pensive sweating from my brow. My father had given his life for this message, his body as ruined as his house in pursuit of the wisdom of the gods. We had not evolved, no, we had been BUILT. And within those genetic instructions lay dormant a message, encoded sufficiently that it would not be possible to read until we were technologically ready, and thus intellectually ready, to hold the awesome burden of its contents. My hand trembled as I reached in and produced the specimen, sealed carefully in its petri dish and sat it down on the table. The letter slid out next, the bold type of printer ink clashing against the manic handwritten message some dumbstruck lab tech scribbled in the margins on having been exposed to an idea he was not yet ready for. Of course he wasn't, no one was! No one but my father and me. We were the ones who paid the blood price for this information, a baptism by fire that rendered our souls and minds impervious to the consequences of such knowledge. \n\nI licked my lips with dry tongue, my heart palpitating as my blood pressure rose which excited the now brilliantly sharp pain behind my eyes, and at last I beheld the secret so much had been sacrificed for on the gore-coated altar of science. Setting the decryption to B2, I furiously began decoding the message obscured from prying eyes for their own safety. I wrote down each character as it was revealed, getting closer. The tension was terrible! What was it? The fate of mankind may hang in the balance. Almost there...my fingers flew, my mind was a steal trap.Every pore vibrated; it was almost clear! Yes...Yes YES!\n\n\"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine\"\n\n...\n\nOvaltine? I stared down in rapt disbelief. A crumby commercial? \n\nSon of a bitch.\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] You have the ability to hear BGMs and one day the most sinister BGM you've ever heard starts playing.	[ "I walked out of the university building, something relaxing and jazzy playing inside my head. Music accompanied me for as long as I remember myself, and it usually fit whatever situation I was in so well that I barely registered it. It wasn't quite inconvenient, but my friends noted that I was uncannily responsive to the subtle mood swings, or that I almost seemed to predict some events as they happened. They wrote it off on intuition.\n\nI was approaching the subway station as the jazz faded out. I paid it no attention. A hub theme was probably about to kick in. My personal playlist often prioritized tracks I've heard before - in movies or videogames, especially videogames. Undertale OST has managed to sear itself into my brain before I dropped the game for good. But instead of a chiptune beat, I heard [low, ominous piano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy_-7OXophY).\n\nIt took me a moment to recognise the track. It took me another to remember what exactly did the track accompany in the game I've picked it up from. By the time the air sirens drowned out everything, including my internal music, I was already breaking into a dash for the subway. They always said subway stations could withstand a nuke. Well, here's a chance to find out..." ]	1
Like a dream ghost of your previous selves. Your talking to a crush or doing a maths test and bam, victorian ancestor just chilling out mocking your handwriting but only you know shed their, or an obnoxious roman gladiator being a dickhead in your sports lesson and wondering why you havent slept with half your team mates	[WP] a teenager with the ability to access their past lives, and have them contact him/her at any time	[ "Frederick Reisdorf was a German immigrant to the United States, and at 14 years old he was very big, 6'1 and 150 pounds. He was at the top of his class in math and science, and he did reasonably well in every subject. His hobbies were basketball and playing on his computer. So one day, when he was searching the web for dank memes he found an advertisement for ancestry.com. When he clicked on it, he asked his mom if he could pay the price to see who he was related to, and his mom agreed, since it was only 3 bucks. When he scrolled up to his ancestors from 1889 he was taken aback when he saw Adolf Hitler on there. \"OH MY GOD!\" He exclaimed, and his mom came rushing in saying, \"What's wrong?\" When Frederick explained, his mom said, \"It's ok, honey. Just don't be like him.\" and walked out. \"Thanks for the support.\" Frederick muttered. \"Adolf Hitler, huh?\" He said to himself. Suddenly he heard Adolf's voice materialized, singing Somewhere over the Rainbow. \"Hey! Why am I with some... Ohh. You must have figured out your power of summoning relatives. Hello Frederick.\" Frederick gasped. \"Dude are you hitler? Wait, where are you?\" Hitler sighed. \"On your shoulder! Now let me answer all your questions. Yes, you are related to me. Yes, you are hearing my voice. Yes, you have a miniature version of me on your shoulder. Yes, I am stuck with you until you summon someone else.\" Frederick was still shocked and said, \"Dude, this is so cool! I'm gonna tell my friends!\" Hitler sighed, \"Sadly, only you can see and hear me. But that means I can help you on tests. I was very good at reading and art. But, please don't talk to me during your class. You'll look like a psychopath.\" Frederick muttered under his breath, \"Says you..\" Adolf got enraged and got in his face. \"Excuse you! I'll have you know I only killed 16 million people! Stalin killed 60 million people! And who gets the blame for anti Semitics and Neo-Nazis? Me! All I wanted was to end smoking and give animals rights! All it did was escalate from there! Herman Göring is to blame!\" Frederick inquired, \"Herman Göring!\" Hitler yelled, \"NO, DON'T SAY THAT!\" Hitler was vaporized off his shoulder, and Herman Göring appeared. Frederick said, \"Wait, does that mean you and Hitler did....\" Göring, looking downtrodden, said, \"Unfortunately, yes.\"", "Everything was normal at first until the dreams began, at first they would come and then it would be months before the next one. After a while I began to notice that the dreams were beginning to happen more frequently until the dreams began to happen every night until they suddenly stopped. It wasn't until later the next day that I began seeing the people from my dreams, at first I thought I was seeing things and it would stop soon, but as time went on I realized that these people were here to stay. It was halfway through freshman year that I finally got the courage to talk to one of them, the person I chose to talk to was a man close to my age wearing a toga and sandals. As I slowly walked up to him he looked over to me and he asked if I had finally come over to talk to him, I responded with a nod and he looked at the spot next to him on the bench and said \"come take a seat, I'll explain everything\". I sat next to him and he began telling me that the people I was seeing were actually the ghosts of my past lives and I was only seeing them because of my fathers strange ability that he had passed down to me. After an hour of him explaining the people I leafned that his name was Tyler, the same as me, and that the people could be summoned on command or just appear whenever. After this I finally realized why my father was so secretive... it was because of his gift.\n\nIntroduction to how he got the gift" ]	2

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