Split (1)

train · 199k rows

post_text stringlengths 0 17.5k	post_title stringlengths 8 314	comment_texts listlengths 1 74	num_stories int64 1 74
	[WP] Aliens invade Earth, but just wanted to say they moved into the planet next door and wanted to introduce themselves to the solar system	[ "Giant purple space ships had screamed into orbit around Mars so fast that the interplanetary scanner, who was intent on a salad dressing stain on the crotch of his pants, wondering and hoping that people would recognize it as such and give him a free pass, completely missed them for 5 minutes. \n\nBy the time the scanner properly looked up from the blotches on his trousers to the mass of blotches now covering Mars, and sent the image to main screen, the new aliens were already at the rear hanger door. \n\n\n'Dinng doonng!' Rang throughout the entire base, astoundingly loud. Concrete, bedrock, the indomitable steel that made up main hill, all of it was shaken to its core. People looked up in terror from cubicles, coffees exploded in flinching hands, everywhere paper suddenly flew into the air amid shrieks. entire corridors were instantly filled and more than one person unceremoniously spilled out of a toilet cubicle.\n\n\"Ah damn it, is anyone there?!\" rang out in the shock that followed. \"That was awfully loud I think\" throbbed tremendously through the base. \"Hang on I'm sorry about this!\" Pounded from seemingly everywhere. There was a scuffling and tapping as if someone was groping with a microphone, but magnified to a mind blistering level. Coffee splattered officers writhed in their expansive chairs, office staff rolled pathetically pant-less on the bathroom floor. The goldfish in the lonely tank by reception, literally imploded. \n\n\nSuddenly it ceased and a jovial, rotund and slightly abashed voice broke out in an only near deafening volume, which was just as well. \"oh dear please forgive me for that, I'm not quite used to this particular sonic dispersal unit, I had an old one that I quite liked, the old s-000 model. Built by cenilax in solar cycle 0086 I believe. Yes the company was never the same after it got taken over in 0098. This new one feels awful, like cheap plastic. The old cenilax was neutron hardened. Granted it was an expensive process that was somewhat err,.. Deleterious for the environment but still, the quality spoke for itself. Not as many fancy features on that one, but it was built to LAST!\" \n\nAt the end of his sentence his voice became rich and earthy, as if recalling summers long ago. When the world was honest and Innocent. When men were men and women were women. \n\nEverywhere brows furrowed in scared faces. Minds in agony. Torn between terror and inexplicably, the threat of a long winded and boring anecdote. \n\n\"Oooh Yes!, I remember those days well. It all began in celestial da,\"\n\"What happened to it then?\" A different voice cut in, younger sounding and somewhat muffled and distant. \n\"eh what was that?\", said the first voice.\n\"If your old one was so good, then why replace it, did it break?\"\n\"No it didn't break\",\n\"Well what happened?\",\n\"I suppose you could say, it ahh... wore out\" said the first voice a little lamely.\nThere was a muffled snigger, \" I kinda think that's the same as breaking haha\"\n\"Now listen here!\" There was anger in the voice now. \" I know you take great pride it your new fangled gadgets and think your so damn clever! But in my day us and our gadgets fought on till the bitter end! Oh the repairs!\" \n\nEverywhere throughout the facility eyes started finding each other, 'wtf?' \n\n\"Endless repairs!\" Screamed the voice. \"but I knew my gadgets inside out! You know what you and your gadgets do!? HUH? You just give up! You and your generation! You have no respect! Here we are trying to introduce ourselves to some of our new neighbours and you derail us all promoting this crap!\", there was an ear splitting clang throughout the base.\n\"Yeh but at least we've always got like the latest technology, it's more efficient.\"\n\"More efficient!!?\" screeched The first voice.\n\nThe general finally roused himself to action. With deft swipes across the face of his watch he turned the earpieces of every worker in the base on and tuned their volume as high as it would go. His own ears were still ringing loudly. And the shrieking of the incredulous senior alien outside was reaching a fever pitch. Fingers jumped to ears at the crackle of static as the earpieces fired up. The tension in the base changed quality. The initial shock over, everyone became hard and focussed once more, ready for orders. The general took his time. The fate of mankind might hang in the balance.\n\n\"I want everyone to turn off their phones and their computers\", he was whispering quietly into his wristwatch. \"Sloowwly dim the lights and then proceed to hide under your desks, in your lockers or any where that you can find\" people everywhere looked at each other in surprise. \"Don't make a sound\" he quietly huffed as he wriggled under his fine oak table. \"We're going to pretend we're not at home\".\n\n\n", "\"So we just wanted to stop by. Say hi. You know, get to know the neighbors and all that jazz. Oh! We brought you some gloop. It is pretty tasty if you like ghystyerfis. And, well, everyone like ghystyerfis!\" The twenty foot tall alien with wiggling tentacles laughed merrily as it shoved an iridescent ball with glowing gloops into President of the United State's tiny hands. \"I hope we get to be good friends! Let us know if you ever need anything. Like, if you are going out of the solar system, we can keep an eye on things. You know, make sure the oceans aren't flooding. That type of thing.\"\n\n\"Gerald,\" the second alien interrupted hurriedly, frowning at the unneeded extra responsibilities. It waved a spiny tentacle in apology. \"You got to excuse my... hmm, how do you say it? Sorry, English isn't our first language. Partner? Lifemate?\"\n\nThe president remained quiet, though there was a slight tightness to the mouth.\n\n\"Well, you know what I mean.\" The alien chuckled. \"He gets excited easily. But we will be around. We'll be opening a few factories on Mars. It's looking like there is some lucrative growth going to happen there, what with all the easy solar power we can harness, being so close to the sun. Maybe we can get some human industry going on. A little bit of outsourcing can be a good thing if we can get it done cheaper, right? Am I right? Right?\"\n\nA single grotesque, bulbous green eye out of six winked at the president. The old man's lips tightened further.\n\n\"Ah, I said no business talk!\" The first alien clucked disapprovingly, and began pulling it's eager partner away. \"We just wanted to say hi. Oh! You might want to get that little robot on Mars checked out. We tried sending a note through it, but looks like it was turned off. Anyways, we'll let you know when we will be throwing the first block party! We need to go say hi to the Chineses now. They seem lovely. Ta ta! Cheerio!\"\n\n\"Let me know if you want to talk business!\" The other alien called over his shoulder as they squiggled over to their ship.\n\nThe president silently stood there until the spaceship disappeared into the inky black sky. Slowly, he closed the door to the White House, and frowned at the foreign gift in his hand. With a laborious sigh, he called down the hallway. \"Melania!\"\n\nHer pretty face poked around the corner. \"Yes, Donny dear? What's wrong? Who was that?\"\n\nThe president delicately plopped the gloop ball into her hand. \"Call my lawyers. I think we are going to have to build a bigger wall.\"" ]	2
	[WP] Heaven and Hell's first ever joint operation. The objective is to make sure you never die.	[ "My first prompt. I know I'm no /u/Luna_Lovewell, but please be gentle.\n\n\nI sat with the revolver in my hand, carefully loading six bullets. This is it. The end. I pulled the trigger, and my vision turned white.\n\n Is this death? No. I felt just fine. Well, I guess I'm not dead then. That's a shame.\n\nI stared in to the featureless void for what seemed like an eternity, wishing that I could just die. Then, I started falling.\n\nI fell onto the open street stark naked, right in the middle of times square, the sky parted, and the earth split. A series of rainbows formed in the sky, slowly manifesting into a series of shapes, while red hot magma flowed like snakes along the road. I squinted at them, trying to make out the letters. Both said the same thing:\n\n*\"It's just a prank bro\"*" ]	1
	[WP] Every eight years a thick fog descends down the mountain and kills all crops in your village. The only way to stop the fog is for someone to enter the cave at the mountain's peak. No one that's entered the cave has ever returned. This year you've been selected...	[ "The dripping of water from an unseen leak in the roof of this dirty cell was the subject of my thoughts. The rats were my only company along with the clangs of my chains as they hit and were dragged along the ground.\n\nI had been chosen to enter the cave at the top of the mountain, escorted to my death by the village nobles who would sacrifice anyone to extend their pitiful lives. \n\nI heard a close and rusty door swing open, footsteps growing louder, light growing brighter. The group opened my cell and dragged me out. \n\nThey took me up to the mountain after giving me clothes and a decent meal, forcing me to enter the cave and prevent the spread of the accursed fog that kills crops and livestock. \n\nI stood at the mouth of the cave, a light fog swirled around me. I stepped into the gaping abyss of the cave, the sounds of celebration came from behind.\n\n\nI walked aimlessly in an underground labyring, ever ascending, following a trail laid out by nothing but my instinct and ever dwindling sanity. Something was pulling me, leading me to the peak, something I felt was alien and terrible.\n\nWithin time, I found the exit, the hole in the mountain adorned with snow and the bones of travellers and what I presumed were others sentenced to the same fate as I. I stepped into the blizzard, tightly holding myself to keep warm.\n\nA shadow past by, big and quick. I heard a roar as the blizzard became harsher. Soon I could not see where I was going.\n\nEventually, I found a shrine in the blinding blizzard, it provided warmth. I knelt down at it and felt the cold being repelled. I remained at this shrine for a while, revelling in the comfort of the shrine.\n\nThen I left, ascending, looking for the peak. Then I found it, a lonely figure stood solitary surveying the landscape. I called out to it, then it spoke.\n\n\"You are the one sent to his death, yes?\"\n\nI struggled to answer when he spoke again\n\n\"No matter, let me guess, you were captured and forced to go by zealous and corrupt fools who would see their people burn before even the slightet bit of harm came to them\"\n\nI could only remain silent\n\n\"Unjust, and to think that I have complied with their sacrifices. Time to change that, come closer\"\n\nI drew near, the figure became clearer. It was a teenager in a coat, half of his face obscured by a mask. \n\n\"I will not stop the disaster this time, but it will not be the choking fog. I believe it is time to watch that castle filled with corrupt to be burnt to the ground, what say you?\"\n\nI drew near and felt a burning\n\n\"You shall be my flaming messenger, your soul will be the fuel for the coming inferno\"\n\nMy body was soon transformed, my body becoming flame.\n\n\"Go! Bring the corrupt fools the rage of many before you and my wrath\"\n\nSuddenly, I felt a rush and a pleasant expanding feeling. I heard screams and the sound of buildings burning.\n\n\n\nBack on the mountain, the mysterious teen observed the inferno consuming the castle, he felt the souls of nobles join the wildfire. A gust of wind briefly obscured him, when it had past, he was gone. Nothing was left to mark his passing", "run, maybe you can do it, you can escape, this is unfair\n\nWas what I thought right after I heard my name coming from the lips of the oracle of the village. Everyone knew he receives payments from rich families, unfortunatly I was on my own since I was 12 my little brother got adopted, more like bought, by those rich corrupted cunts from the Castle City.\n\nMy moment of hesitation costed me a lot, everyone was already ready to stop me.\n\nThe Priests, highest authority concerning the poisonous mountain, walked through the crowd, theirs hammers were ready to strike me if I tried anything. that was it... all of it was over. I gave up and followed them.\n\nThey put me in a special jail, the trip to the mountain was tomorrow morning, before the dawn so the villagers wouldnt see the sacrifice being taken from the community.A useless precaution... none would ever try to help anyone in this country anyway.\n\nOne hour later since I surprisingly couldnt sleep, I caught myself thinking about what I was leaving behind... and for the first time, I felt free.\nI was going to die, sure but it's not like not existing anymore would be worth than living in this hell anyway. I never trusted in any god or divinity.\n\nThe next morning, really early, they came for me, I was ready to follow them.\nOne last bad moment to bear before I can finally rest...\n\nthe dragged me to the horses we were leaving for the mountain." ]	2
	[WP] Write the villain's beautiful, poetic speech that they tell the hero before the climax of the story.	[ "\"Why must you persist with this foolishness? Time after time you fight, and yet you fail, don't you ever think of giving up? For you to just... Let go, accept my offer, and live like a King! How could you deny that life? I suppose you can't comprehend it, most people can't, but they're smart enough to accept the offer. No matter. This will be the final time I allow this, no more second chances this time Jayden. I've wasted more than enough time on you, oh one more thing before I go. Please tell me, when you stew in the dark, in your prison of isolation, with nothing but the cascade of sanity trickling away, will you feel content while the world forgets you? While they worship me, chant my name, celebrate me as a living legend, how will they remember you? The man who was offered everything, and said NO! I'm sure that the fact you \"made the right choice\" will help you sleep at night. Goodbye Jayden, sweet dreams.\"", "\"Oh, you're still alive.\"\n\n\"I probably should have expected that, but how was I to know that you would unite the mongrels with the beasts? You even sealed away The Weeping Earth for another dozen millennia.\"\n\n\"And for what? To perpetuate the lie of the world? To create a mockery of a peace between living fantasies and the mongrel humans?! For one who knows the truth of everything, you sure do love breaking the ultimate law.\"\n\n\"Come on, you have seen the unseen faces of the real enemy. Hell, you've sealed away the cause of this broken world, yet you refuse to fight them. Instead you kill all of my agents, imprison my family and hunt me down.\"\n\n\"This fight shouldn't be happening. You shouldn't exist. None of us should have ever been born! It's the Eldritch Truth of Reality! The Natural and the Supernatural were never intended to meet on the same plane!\"\n\n\"I am Marisa Scrake, Last Royal Vampire of the Scrake Family. You will not stop me from making the world right!\"\n\ncue boss fight music", "\"I would think that after growing up together, you would have seen this coming, that you would have stopped me before it got out of hand. All it could have taken was a thoughtful glance, an acknowledgment of my pain that I know you so hopefully ignored. You friendship was endless when we were young, but that's what brothers are supposed to have. I looked up to you, but I was a moth to your flames and you left me, burning away when my downward spiral became too much to handle. Just like mother and father, like our sister, and when I was so far gone and you of all people left, I was alone, but here we stand, face to face my brother. The funeral of friends but you could have stopped this. You could have stopped all of this if you wouldn't have given up on me, but then again, giving up is what you're good at, that and putting your friends in the ground. You'll be joining them soon tho, don't worry dead brother. I'll save you this time, and make up for all of the years you never saved me.\"\n\n " ]	3
	[WP] "I won the war, you know. But I lost the battle where it mattered."	[ "Bernos fell to his knees and hands. He was shaking from exhaustion and tears fell to the sand below him. He heard the sea crashing against the shore and the chirping of birds. He undid his belt letting his sword fall to the ground. He threw his helmet to the side. He wept and screamed, hoping something would come to end it all. \nAnd as if in response he heard something. It slithered across his chest and spoke to him in hisses. \n\n\"What wins, yet loses?\" the thing spoke as it tightened.\n\n\"A man that won a war, but lost everything\" he replied between tears. He didn't dare try to look at what it was as he feared that he already knew. So he looked out the sea in front of him.\n\nThe thing whispered to him, \"Who kills, yet loves.\"\n\n\"Don't we... don't we all?\" \n\n\"Liar!\" It shouted and constricted tighter. Bernos grunted in pain and his voice joined his body in shaking.\n\n\"I do!\" he screamed, \"I do damn you!\", with his words the thing loosened its grip. \n\n\"You won the war you know? But what battle did you lose that was oh so important?\" \n\n\"Them.\" He sobbed, but the thing only tightened its grip. \"Them! Them! Them!\"\nhe let his face hit the sand and with his arms out in front of him. His tears pooled in the sand, making it much colder to the touch. \n\n\"I got them killed. My wife, m-my daughter. I won the war for pride, but for it I am now alone.\" \n\nHis heart spoke to him one last time, \"What will you do now?\"\n\nBernos got back on his hands then his own legs and stood again. Tears still ran down his face, but he looked away now from the sea and towards the woods of beasts and monsters. \n\n\"I will do what I can.\"\n\n---\n\nA story from the world of Etharas. A world building project I'm working on that links many stories together within the scope of the same world. If you are interested in seeing other stories and world building entries check out /r/Etharas!", "\"I won the war, you know. But I lost the battle where it mattered.\"\n\nAll of a sudden, I want to hug the kid. He's about to cry, any dumbass could see it. He hates being touched, and only she can calm him down when he's like this. Her. God, I hate her away games. She just knows how to deal with him. It feels bad not to be able to comfort him, if I have to be entirely honest. When he was a baby it was easy, she just stuck a boob in his face, or I just rocked him a little bit and everything would be alright. But now? He has thoughts, ideas, and he knows what he likes and doesn't like. And he doesn't like to be touched.\n\n\"Kid, it's not the end of the world, c'mon. There're gonna be lots of other games, you know that.\"\n\nI hate myself for saying that. Stupid. He's not braindead, of course he knows, this doesn't help. He's really about to cry now. Those stupid hazel eyes of his, they're mine. He looks so much like me, it pulls at my heart. He reminds me so much of me, I hate myself for that too. I hated being touched too. Before I met her, before we got together. Before we had him. \n\n\"^^Dad.\"\n\nHis voice is so quiet. He's not interrupting the silence of the night, out here in Muskoka. After the game, I took him here, to celebrate, 'cause it's close, but he was just sad. But they won. They won. His lips are quivering, his forehead's wrinkled, his chin is too. He's really crying now. I just stand there like an idiot, 'cause he doesn't like being touched, and I don't know what to say. I stood there just like him, one time, and all my dad was yell at me for being a baby and crying. I know what I wanted him to do.\n\n\"^^Dad.\"\n\n\"^I'm ^really ^sorry. \"\n\nFuckin', I just pull him into a hug anyway. I pull him into a hug, and I wrap my arms around him, and I hold him as tightly as I can. He's sobbing hard, shoulders shaking. His face is contorted into that crying face. He is my son and I can comfort him, can't I? \n\n\"Daaaad, I-I'm really really sorry for screwing up, dad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.\"\n\nI just shush him, and rub his back. \n\nThat's what I wanted then.\n\nThat's what he wants now.\n\nHis dad. \n" ]	2
	[WP] Upon dying, you learn that you can take three lessons you learned to your next life to make it better.	[ "He sits in a pristine white room and looks around at the vast emptiness that seems to embody the minuscule area contained within four walls. He can't remember the last few moments before this but he is sure they were not good.\n\n\"Hello.\"\n\nShe sits across from him with a thick folder, glasses neatly placed atop while she watches him with kindness.\n\n\"Where am I?\"\n\nShe smiles softly.\n\n\"Dead.\"\n\nThen he remembers.\n\n\"Oh.\"\n\nHe had been sick, very sick. His family was by his side and they had cried as he faded. He'd wanted to stay so badly but he just couldn't. Then he was here.\n\n\"So, let's talk.\"\n\nShe unfolds her glasses and places them on her nose before opening the file. The first page is a baby picture with plenty of notes.\n\nThen comes pages of childhood pictures with friends, dogs, family. They seem to stretch on forever as she turns pages. Then she reaches a man in his mid twenties in a black suit, bent over to kiss a beautiful girl in a white dress.\n\nHe starts to cry silent tears as she turns the pages of his memory.\n\nThere's a beautiful baby in his arms, then a little girl playing in the grass and another baby in his wife's arms.\n\nThere's long nights in an office pouring over numbers and papers, there's children playing without their father and one sentence scrawled over the pictures.\n\n\"For their future.\"\n\nThen he becomes thin and frail, skin drawn over bone as the medication takes a toll on his body. There are hospital rooms and sterile tools and sadness in each picture.\n\nThe final picture is a man he wouldn't recognize as himself lying in a bed, face relaxed and a gathering of tearful people standing around.\n\nDead.\n\nShe closes the file and places her glasses down again.\n\n\"So. Here's the deal. You can go back-\"\n\nHe lifts his head with hope through the tears.\n\n\"-but, you'll start a new life. The only thing you can take with you are three things you learned from this life. It won't ever be the same as it was.\"\n\nThere's a long moment before he nods.\n\n\"I want to remember to not take anyone for granted, to spend as much time with those I love as I can and to always love with everything I have.\"\n\nShe smiles softly and snaps her fingers.\n\nThe white room is gone and it's replaced with the smell of rain and grass, with dim light.\n\n\"Help!\" he shouts, feeling cold and scared, his body shaking against the rain, \"help!\"\n\nA little girl appears, kneeling down and looking at him. It's her. He couldn't ever forget that face. Slowly he reaches out for her.\n\nShe smiles and reaches out for him, taking his hand and pulling him towards her.\n\nThen he is inside a house that he remembers, not as well as he should, but he does remember it. There's a beautiful woman there in his old gray school sweater sitting at the kitchen table.\n\n\"Mom,\" the little girl says and they both smile as they look at him, \"can we keep him?\"", "\"I haven't got all day, what are your three already?\" \n\"Ex-Excuse me? My three what?\" My voice shaken, as I still look around this place. It wasn't the train yard that's for sure. \n\"You should really read the signs, maybe that should be one of the lessons you take with you.\" \n\"The signs? What?\" Looking the direction of what I can only assume to be the arm of a bureaucratic paper pusher I saw the sign. \nWelcome, before placement in your new life please select 3 lessons learned to aid you in the next life. No cell phones permitted in queue thank you. \n\"Let me cut you at the pass, to save us both time. You died, you are now about to get a new life selected by a supreme cosmic being or a trained hamster if the Supreme being is on break, believe me the hamster is well qualified. Do not question the hamster. From your past experiences what three lessons have you learned that you want the new you to have for their future?\" \nFinding myself unable to speak, it seemed as if my mouth was- \n\"And yes, that is all you will be able to say. We are a busy industry. Might I suggest less reproduction this time around. It would be great to get more than a 5 minute break for a change.\" \n\"To be attentive to your surroundings. \" \n\"Good, don't want a repeat end like you just had, smart. Now two more.\" \n\"Be active as a child, sports are easier to pick up in your youth.\" \n\"Good, good, might have been able to do that pull up in time before the train came.\" \n\"Learn more things in life.\" \n\"Oh a wise choice. Maybe the future you will have more to offer their next self that way. Well, the hamster chose for you to be a swan for this next iteration. Do try to be the best swan you can be and don't forget your lessons!\" \n \n\"Ah, back so soon? Well, the odds of you surviving out of the lot isn't that high, no shame in it.\"", "\"Why do we keep offering them the chance?\"\n\n\"Because no one else is so suited for it.\"\n\n\"Each time. They manage to either forget their own advice or convince themself not to take it. When they get back here, they try again, and typically offer the same advice.\"\n\n\"Ah, but not always.\"\n\n\"...Hm. That's true, but I assumed the point of this was to make the next life better, not to find some fancy new outcome or whatnot.\"\n\n\"That's true, but...\"\n\n\"...yes?\"\n\n\"Has anyone ever told you the supposed 'definition of insanity?'\n\n\"I've heard it before.\"\n\n\"I'm not a fan of it, but it goes that you do the same thing over and over and expect something different to happen. Isn't that something? Knowledge can't change the soul, but the soul can change the knowledge. That's the nature of this project.\"\n\n\"Ah. I see, I suppose it makes sense if you put it that way.\"\n\n\"Either way, we're going to have to wait and see-maybe this time things will change.\"\n\n---\n\nA person wakes up, and looks in the mirror.\n\nYou can wait forever if you need to.\n\nBut don't expect things to change by just waiting.\n\nStill, there's always next time.\n\nWhat shitty advice, they mused. But it was advice they were obliged to take.\n\nIt wasn't that maybe things would be different. They would just have to make things different, this time.", "A letter to myself in the future:\n\n Lessons to leave upon death\n\n“Dear Me, \n\nI’m not sure how to formally address you, I decided it was best that this letter, and it’s lessons come straight from my heart with as little influence as possible. I’m supposed to give you some sort of wisdom that guides you in a positive way, but I’m drawing a blank. So I’m going to just write down what I think are the 3 most important lessons I’ve learned in my life. \nNumber one, never forget that you are loved. Whether it be family or friends, siblings or significant others, you reside in the heart of another person. When life seems like it’s only filled with pain, and you think about giving up, never forget these people. They will help you see the light that you cannot find. Spend time with them, laugh with them, cry with them, open your soul to them, humans were meant to love, it’s in our souls. In turn, love others, allow yourself to be fulfilled by being kind, by being there for others. You will find happiness in giving your energy and time for the betterment of humanity. There is nothing more important than filling the world with love, through your acts of love, you will live forever in the hearts of others. Even when you feel like you have lost the love of someone, there will always be another. When I was young I loved a woman who I thought was an angel. I loved the way she sang, the way she laughed, the way she looked at me when I laid next to her. She broke my heart in the end, and I hated myself for a long time. I lost myself to a darkness, I wandered aimlessly through life, wanting nothing more than to stop hurting inside. It took time, it took patience, and it took love before I finally emerged from that darkness. I came to find that I had learned more about myself than I had thought possible. Pain and love are the greatest teachers, listen to them, embrace them, and let them pass away. We are the culmination of all our struggles and successes, but we are best guided through them by the love of others.\n \nNumber two, read all you can. Fill your mind with ideas, and your soul with knowledge. Learn about the world, learn about yourself, learn that you are capable of great things. Try not to expect so much of yourself, but rather, try to better yourself a little each day. Read everything you get your hands on, and question everything that you’re told. Know why you believe what you believe, educate yourself in all the ways of the world. My grandmother read Shakespeare to me, my father read me “The Lord of the Rings”, and I learned from both. I learned about myself through Science-Fiction just as much as I did in Torah. Never stop moving forward, allow yourself to admit that you know nothing, then try to learn everything. Give yourself a hobby, something outside of your work, give yourself the tools to be not just successful, but happy. The end comes so much sooner than you think, make the most of your own potential, and you will leave this world fulfilled.\n\nLastly, forgive yourself. We will all fail, and we will always fall short. I have made so many mistakes in my life, I have hurt myself, my family, my relations. Some days you will feel like the worst person in the world, and you will want to give up. I once contemplated ending my life when I was 23, I had made a mistake so great that I ended up incarcerated. I never wanted to face myself or my family again. When I walked out I broke out in tears, I was given a chance to redeem myself. I swore I would give myself the opportunity the change, and though it took time, I recovered. Everyone is capable of change, but first you must forgive yourself. Surrender to the shame, accept that you failed, then pick yourself up and move forward. Never stop moving forward, even if it’s a crawling pace. There will always be a dawn, you will always have a choice, better yourself every day.\nI will probably remember more that I wanted to say after I send this letter to you, but I hope you take something from this. Never forget, you can change the world, even if it’s a person at a time. You have the capability for incredible change in the lives of those who are in your life. Love, learn, and forgive. One day you will look back and you’ll be faced with the choices you made, and it is my hope that you will look fondly upon your life. I know that I do.\n\n\nI go forward into the next life with happiness in my heart.\nYour friend, Me.\n\n\nPS: Always give yourself time to listen to music, it helps everything.\"\n", "Did you know that in your last few moments alive, your senses are flooded with light?\n\nYes, your senses. Not just your sight. You feel that shining beacon in the stars calling out to you in every single way possible: you see it, you smell it, you taste it, you hear it, you feel it. It's overwhelming, yet strangely peaceful. The type of sensation that you can't fight against, so you simply go with the flow and enjoy the ride.\n\nYour trip to the switching station lasts about ten minutes. At that point, the light fades from your senses and you're standing in a place that oddly resembles your average metro station. You're at the end of a single-file line that stretches out seemingly for eternity, and yet, when the line moves forward, you're next. You get to go face-to-face with the big man himself.\n\nOr, at least to me, he was a man. A real father figure kind of guy. But I got the impression from his knowing smile that he would be whatever you were most comfortable with. I was always a daddy's girl in my life.\n\n\"Hello, Abigail,\" God said, his voice flooding all my senses like the light. It wasn't overwhelming, though. It was like the sensation of laying your head down on a pillow after a long day. \"Welcome to the switching station.\"\n\nI opened my mouth to be speak, but found words lacking, so I simply nodded.\n\n\"I know you've a lot of questions, my dear girl. Let me start with the one at the front of your mind: what is this place? As I said, the switching station. Souls are not expendable resources, you know. They aren't a one-and-done kind of commodity. The same soul will likely go through over one hundred incarnations before boarding the train home. You, my dear girl, are on your way to incarnation two. One of the freshest souls I have had the pleasure of meeting in a very long time.\"\n\nI remained silent for several moments, trying to take the information in. God assured me that I could take all the time I need with his gaze - he didn't need to say a word for me to understand that. Eventually, I was able to form my first question: \"The train home?\"\n\nGod lifted his hand, pointing toward the empty tracks. \"After a soul goes through enough incarnations, it boards the train home. To... Heaven, so-to-speak. Think of it as a retirement home for souls, if that makes it easier to comprehend. To be allowed into such a place, a soul must mature immensely, and if I find it hasn't learned its lessons yet, I will send it back for another go. Make sense, dear child?\"\n\nI nodded.\n\n\"A part of this 'entrance exam', so-to-speak, is that the memory-wipe a soul receives will be incomplete. They will not remember a thing from their previous life, naturally, but will have three lessons learned in that previous life instilled into their soul. Three things that will make up the core of their personality for that lifetime. These three things are at the discretion of the soul itself. You may pick, dear Abigail.\"\n\nGod extended a clipboard to me, complete with pen and paper. I took it, and he placed his hand on my shoulder, guiding me over to a lone chair off to the side of the main line.\n\n\"Take all the time you need, dear child. Pick your three lessons, and you will go on to your next life with those lessons as a part of you. Choose carefully.\"\n\nAnd with that, God went back to the line to tend to the next person. I sat there in the chair for what felt like a paradoxical time - it took forever, yet it took no time at all. I thought long and hard at times, and other times, I didn't think at all, letting my mind rest and moving my eyes from the clipboard to God, who always was speaking to another soul. Formless, yet filled with so much expression.\n\nBut I finally decided.\n\nI had them written. So, with a heaving sigh, I rose to my feet and move to talk to God, who all of a sudden is speaking to no one. The line was empty - the only people in the switching station were the two of us. I had long since decided not to question the physics of this place. It was a realm in control of God, after all.\n\nI approached him, handing him the clipboard. His eyes scanned it for a split second, a smile touching his lips.\n\n\"Very well, dear Abigail. You will go into your next life with three lessons instilled into your very soul - these three things will make up the core of your personality, from the moment you can remember your own thoughts. They are...\"\n\nIn the end, there wasn't much of a choice. I knew from the moment that I was told to pick what I was going to choose, despite the arduous hours of thinking on it. \n\nI was a very mean person for the first few decades of my life. Spiteful, arrogant, hateful. I don't really know what to blame - my emotional immaturity as a soul, my upbringing in life, the social circles I hung with... I suppose blame really doesn't matter.\n\n\"Lesson One,\" God said, \"Be kind to your fellow man...\"\n\nI always skirted by on the bare minimum effort in life. I went the easy way with every little thing I could. This ended up with my early adult life being spent on the streets, spiteful toward the world and only affirming my belief that the world didn't deserve my effort.\n\n\"Lesson Two,\" God said, \"Work hard, for it is the only way to lead a fruitful life.\"\n\nWhen I realized that wasn't going to work, I picked up the pace. I pulled myself up by my boot straps and became a working machine - I built myself a life from rock bottom. I was a natural American success story. I got a husband. I gave birth to a little girl. For the first time in my life, I was someone worthwhile to someone else. And yet, I was afraid that if I stopped, I was going to make the entire setup fall apart.\n\n\"Lesson Three,\" God said, \"Yet take time to rest, for a life only spent working is no life at all.\"\n\nI crashed and burned. It was at this point where my blood pressure was skyrocketing, I was barely getting any sleep, I was constantly doing something... my body simply couldn't handle it. It gave out on me. I died because I worked myself to death. I tore myself from the life I had built because I was too afraid it was going to go away if I lost my momentum.\n\nSo I knew my three lessons from the moment I was going to get to pick them.\n\nGod embraced me. I embraced him back, quietly crying into his shoulder for a while. There was silence, and for the first time ever, I think I really knew what comfort was.\n\n\"Dearest Abigail, I would say you had a good first run.\"\n\nWith that, I moved onto my next life.", "The man bumps into me in the street. He snarls at me, and I apologise, even though it was clearly his fault. Lesson 1: You can't win them all, sometimes it's better to back down. He walks on, not realising that I managed to swipe his wallet when he bumped into me. Lesson 2: Sometimes, you need to appear to lose, to win. He doesn't realise until long after, and I'm sure that he would never think of me as a suspect for stealing it.\n\nI find my way to the restaurant where I'm meeting my girlfriend, and I pay for our meal, in cash, from the man's wallet. Later, after I've locked his debit card, I hand the wallet in to the police, saying that I found it lying on the ground in a park. They also don't suspect me of stealing it. They thank me, and I leave. When I get home, my parents ask me how my day was. I'm tempted to tell them, but that wouldn't be good, so I reply with a simple 'good'.\n\nYou may wonder why I took the risk of stealing that man's wallet. It's because I know. Most people choose three lessons that will help them make the right choices, or will help them be successful. Me, I only chose two like that. My third lesson is by far the most important, one that I didn't learn until after I died last time. One that no one else thinks to say, or so I was told. Lesson 3: After you die, you will be reborn, after choosing three lessons to bring into your new life. So have fun.", "The building pain, the white light, the sudden peace.\n\nI opened my eyes and stared out into nothing. \n\nWas this death? Was this the afterlife?\n\n\"Yes, and no.\" spoke a booming voice from all around me.\n\n\"You are dead,\" whispered a voice on my left.\n\n\"But this is not the afterlife,\" whispered another from my right.\n\n\"More of an in between...\" sang a third voice as it swooped over my head.\n\n\"Now you must make a choice,\" tweedled a voice from below my feet.\n\n\"For one so young it must be hard,\" was said behind me.\n\nA wispy figure formed in the emptiness in front of me and raised an arm in a coy wave. The mouth opened and closed at random as words appeared in the air around me, seen and heard in shimmers.\n\n\"Go on, go, on, go on, go on...\" a hundred echoes repeating the phrase.\n\nThe words froze in place and were swept aside as the figure lowered it's arm to gesture downwards. I followed it's motion and saw the earth far below with one word imprinted deep into it's bedrock. Return\n\n\"Return.\" I said immediately, thinking of my friends and family. I had only been nineteen when I was diagnosed, and I had so much more to give.\n\nThe figure smiled and it's slit of a mouth spread upwards, cutting a slice through it's face as the upper half of it's head drifted up and up. Eventually being cut off and separating to float above the rest of the figure, slowly losing it's form.\n\nWith half a head, and half an inhuman smile, the figure raised up three fingers and it's voice echoed down from the dissipating smoke above it's head.\n\n\"Three lessons, can you take, and all else is forgotten. Choose well, they are all that will guide you in your next life.\"\n\nI blanched, or I would of if I had a body to blanch with, and my thoughts spun uncertainly. How could I choose three lessons and nothing else. Should they allude to memories, maybe they could bring something back from my previous life.\n\nI saw the headless figure shake it's stump. It was right, if I didn't have any memories then what could any lessons tell me. The best I could do was give myself something to help me along. What had I learned in my life?\n\nI thought back on the mistakes I had made, the people I had hurt, the things I had done to hurt myself, and the damage I had caused by acting without thinking.\n\n\"Always think carefully before you act.\" I said, giving my first lesson.\n\nThe figure nodded once slowly and lowered a finger. Two.\n\nI mentally scrunched up my face and ran a hand through my hair, thinking about all of the people that had hurt me, the boys that I had fallen for that had broken my heart, the teachers that had praised me one day only to punish me the next, and of course my father who had left the day I had told him about my cancer.\n\n\"Be careful who you trust.\" I said, and the figure lowered another finger. One.\n\nOne final lesson, and my last chance to help myself in the future. What could I do, what could I say? My head echoed with an strange headache in this alien world, and the mist figure rocked back and forth in mocking mirth. \n\nI tried to grit my teeth, and memories flooded back about all of the times I had let people walk all over me. My 'best friend' who had always demanded that I chose her over everyone until she had her first boyfriend, my project partner who had demanded first billing on our paper despite never showing up to our study sessions, my mother who had blamed me for my dad leaving.\n\n\"Stand up for yourself.\" I said, and the figure lowered it's final finger and swept it's arm outwards and away, shedding tendrils of smoke as it passed.\n\n\"The lessons are set.\" Spoke the loud voice from all around.\n\n\"Always think carefully before you act,\" crowed a voice from my left.\n\n\"Be careful who you trust.\" crooned a voice from my right.\n\n\"Stand up for yourself.\" cackled a voice from behind me.\n\n\"All three just the same as last time,\" grinned the faceless mist in front of me.\n\nThe figure lifted a hand to point a thumb downwards and I fell towards the earth with my memories falling off me one by one and drifting upwards in the breeze.\n\nThe gentle peace, the glowing darkness, the sudden pain.\n\nI opened my eyes.\n\n**\n\nThanks for reading*\n\nIf you liked this and want some more depressing shit to read, check out my Subreddit: /r/Ethancordn" ]	7
	[WP] As the next round of a high stakes Texas hold 'em game starts, the dealer deals you two cards. They are blank.	[ "I had been at the Empire for almost 8 hours solid now. I was exhausted, but driven by a hunger, a desire to prove to myself that I was a good player, that I had an edge, that I could best anyone at the table. I was making all of the right decisions, getting my money in good, but I just could not catch a break.\n\nIm down £5000, my last £1200 sitting infront of me. Sitting at the table at me are some of the most tilt-inducing players to play against I can hope to avoid. I should of gotten up and left hours ago, they aren't necessarily better than me, just tricky and unpredictable, difficult to read and almost impossible to bluff. Picture this:\n\nI am sitting opposite the dealer. Clockwise, to my immediate left is an old chinese lady, she is wearing a golfers peaked cap and a horrible shiny tracksuit, she sits with her handbag on her lap, constantly rebuying to the table maximum with chips she has stuffed in her gaudy shiny gold leaf handbag. She is the definition of a nit. She folds 99% of hands to any action, its so difficult to get in pots with her and get paid, but she gives up her blinds easily. Thats how I have been staying alive, raising into her calls/limps and taking the pot down. When she raises, I just fold unless I have the goods. \n\nTo her left, an enormous guy. Fucking unbelievably fat. Like, defying physics fat. Hes taking up two spaces but hes loaded. Hes been running like a god all night long, raking in huge pots with massive hands. He bluffs and shows then gets everyone playing back at him except me, I have been watching him all night and have a read on him that he blinks a lot when bluffing, I just havent found a hand to take him down with yet. To the right of the dealer is a dude I labelled \"Snakeoil\" about 3 hours ago. Cowboy hat, sharp suit unbuttoned at the collar, late 50s, cigar on the go. Smooth operator. Likes to play unpredictably, constantly shifts gears but he does overcommit when hes in a vulnerable position, ripe for exploitation. \n\nTo the right of the dealer, a young kid, about 23-25 years old. Headphones in, sunglasses on, hoodie up and scarf over his chin and mouth. Hasn't moved a muscle in 4 hours. Internet player. Hes solid and doesnt give much away but has shown weakness against Snakeoil and hes punished him for it. To his left and to my right, my nemesis. Donkey Kong. \n\nDonkey Kong has been destroying me all night long. I know hes a terrible player, but he makes up for poor pre flop play with solid post flop play. Once he has a made hand, he likes to change up his betting patterns to keep everyone guessing. Im just waiting for a hand where he hits strong but I have the goods, something he wont see coming. Ive lost 4 all ins against this guy, before the game is over I will stack this fool. Im about to get dealt cards and for some reason, I decide to say a little prayer to Fortuna and the Poker Gods. May I run good and stack fish.\nI look around the table and it folds to Snakeoil who makes it £40 to go. Ok, a min raise. Looks strong. Donkey Kong looks at one card, then the other and decides to make it £85 to go, he doesnt usually 3-bet if he doesnt have something semi-decent, like a pocket pair or a big ace.\n\nI take a minute, compose myself and look down at my cards. At first, I thought I was hallucinating from exhaustion, but I did a double take. They were blank. I was about to tell the dealer when I spotted out of the corner of my eye that one of the cards was revealing something. It was writing itself, actually printing the card as I watched it. Then the other started. I look down at King-Queen of hearts, which had materialised from nowhere. I decide to quickly call to avert suspicion. \n\nEverybody else folds. Snakeoil snap calls. Him, Donkey Kong and me in the pot, around £320. I have £1.2k behind. Flop comes:\n\nAce of Diamonds, Jack of Hearts, Ten of Hearts. I flopped the nut straight, with a royal flush draw.\n\nFinally. A massive hand I can beat these guys with. I decide to let Snakeoil drive the action and I check. He immediately fires £120. Donkey Kong decides to call (hes been a calling station all night, no surprise there). I just call, hoping that the turn brings a blank or makes my hand.\n\nThe turn is the nine of spades. Ho-lee-shit. I managed to avoid a paired board. I check again. Snakeoil bets £220. He is showing strength by betting small, getting value. If he was weak he would check back, hes been doing that all night when he missed. Donkey Kong says call. No suprise. I elect to call. £775 behind. \nMy heart is pounding, I can barely keep my breathing in check and my hands from shaking. This could be it, the hand I have been waiting for.\n\nThe river comes the Ace of hearts. My heart actually stops. \n\nA Royal Flush. I check. Snakeoil shoves all in for another £250. This is it, if Donkey Kong calls, I have got him exactly where I want him. He looks down at his cards, smiles a little then just calls, smoothly. I know he has a monster and wont be able to fold.\n\nI make an annoyed sound, scoffing and tutting like I cant believe its happening again and basically act like a toddler and throw my chips accross the line shouting ALL IN. I want it to look like I know I am beat. \n\nDonkey Kong pipes up \"Your not going to believe this\" and says call.\n\nI reply. \"Back at you.\" I turn over the Royal Flush. There it is, beautifully shining under the lights of the poker room ceiling. The Poker Gods who have cursed me so wrongly this night have granted me retribution. Snakeoil groans and shows a full house, pocket jacks, full of aces. What was so satisfying though, was Donkey Kong shows pocket Aces, to hit four of a kind! Justice was served, bad beat to beat all of the bad beats. A siren goes off in the poker room. I panic. I think I have been rumbled, what with the magic cards and all. The pit manager comes over and talks to the dealer who asks the game to be paused. Gulp. The manager announces the bad beat jackpot has been triggered!\n\nEveryone gets a share of £80,000!!! In one hand, I was back up to £5k, plus another £12k. I couldnt believe it! Of course, I sat down with my huge stack again. Donkey Kong looks dismayed and annoyed at me, rebuys for another £2k.\n\nAfter the furore dies down, the cards are dealt again. This time, Captain Planet (the guy that was as big as a planet) decides to raise it up to £50 to go from under the gun. Im the small blind and Chinese Lady is the big blind. Snakeoil folds. Internet player folds. Donkey Kong calls. I look down at my cards.\n\nPocket twos. Two black twos. I laughed a bit inside and decide to fold, but just as I did. Two words appeared on the left card. \n\n\"Dont Fold.\"\n\nI paused, this cant be happening I said to myself. I decide to trust in luck and called. Chinese Lady calls. She must have a big hand. £200 pot.\nFlop comes 3 of spades, 4 of spades, 5 of spades. Finally some run-good. I flop the open ended straight flush draw. \n\nChinese Lady bets out on the flop, £85. She must have a monster pair or a huge flush draw, or a flopped set (three of a kind). Captain Planet decides to just call the raise. Donkey Kong calls again. I just put him on a trash hand hoping to get lucky. Maybe he already did?\n\nTurn comes a King, the King of diamonds. A bad card for us. Predictably the betting intensifies. Chinese Lady bets £150. Captain Planet raises to £325. Donkey Kong folds, back to me. I am so ready to fold to this obvious aggression but again, some words appear on the cards when I look down.\n\n\"Have faith\"\n\nI know its the worst play ever, but I decide to flat call the raise, and so does Chinese Lady.\n\nThe river comes 6 of spades. Holy mother, not the absolute nuts, but close. I have to be good here. Chinese Lady moves all in, nearly £800!! Its such an overbet its ridiculous. Captain Planet thinks for a minute, then re-shoves all in for £850!!!\n\nI snap call. Chinese Lady shows the King high flush with pocket Kings. Captain Planet fist pumps and shows the Ace high flush with Ace King with the Ace of Spades. I show the straight flush and the whole table lose their minds. \n\nI ran good all night long - up to nearly £30k. I had a steak breakfast and tipped the dealer a solid £100 chip, even though I knew other forces where at play. \nLater that afternoon, as I slept the sleep of the victorious dead in my hotel room, I was rudely awoken by a phone call from the front desk.\n\n\"Mr Marcus? A call for you.\"\n\"Oh...th..thanks. Hello?\"\n\"Mr Marcus?\"\n\"Yes. Who is this?\"\n\nThe line went dead. I shrugged and was just about to go back to sleep again when the doorbell to the room rang. I groaned, put on a dressing gown and answered the door. \n\n\"Room service.\"\n\"But I didn't order any-\"\n\nMy entire body locked up in an instant. I felt the surge of electrical energy slam into my right hand side. All of my muscles contracted, my jaw cracked, and then I blacked out. When I came to, I was in some kind of bag full of towels and dressing gowns, bound at the wrist and ankles, with a piece of gaffer tape over my mouth. My sides were on fire, all of my muscles ached with a fierce acidic burning, I could barely move let alone breathe. The trolley I was being pushed in must still be in the hotel, we got in a lift which went down to some kind of basement. The chill of the January air blasted into the lift when the doors opened on the bottom floor. The trolley was rolled to a car. It was a big black limousine. The passenger door was opened by some henchman, and thats about the time I was lifted out of the fabric bin and propped up right by two massive goons. Another goon stuck a needle in my arm and depressed the plunger. Almost immediately I felt better, my muscles stopped aching and my jaw came unlocked. My head stopped ringing and my vision unblurred. \n\n\"What the hell is this?\"\n\"Please get in Mr Marcus. You are not in any danger.\"\n\nI decided to get in. Sitting opposite me was Snakeoil, Internet Player, Chinese Lady and Donkey Kong. Oh shit, I thought, they know and I am a dead man.......\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Virtual reality has been perfected and is now indistinguishable from reality. People can stay for years and experience whatever reality they wish. Write about the last human to live in reality.	[ "So um.... Logs I guess are the y'know thing when your alone.... right?\n\nSo uh LOG 1! I guess..... Oh God how the fuck should I explain this....\n\nSo 5 years ago something called virtual reality started coming into the world and people were attracted to it by the fact they could do anything and be anyone. As a 14 year old kid I thought it was cool but I was fine with my normal games because I thought it was a waste of money.\n\nMy family started. My friends started. My teachers started and I realised it was more than something you could do for a couple hours y'know. More like a day... A year..... A lifetime.\n\nSoon capsules were on the market for over one million dollars. These would keep you with food and all the basic necessities you need for a lifetime in a capsule doing VR things.\n\nPretty soon it became a religion with people not even coming out. \n\nI was alone\n\nMy family all died in there. My friends.... I would rather not talk about what happened to them but I guess I have to.\n\nWith Law enforcement being online a gang of non users about 3 years ago started. They would break into peoples homes. Steal all their stuff cut their throats for good measure and then sell the objects online.\n\nSome were more vicious than others. With attack dogs and worse being trained. Someone had a fucking bear. I ran into one of those gangs and to be honest they weren't all that bad. They saw the VR as a religion that needed to be brought down like Scientology.\n\nWell I asked where they had been lately.\n\nThey stated each of my friends houses \n\nI didn't even bother running to see them on the floor dead. I just grabbed one of their guns and sprayed and prayed.\n\nWith the bloody mess on the floor I walked away. Every gang I walked into I killed until their was no more. \n\nNow I don't care. I live in an old abandoned Movie Theatre. Lots of movies there.\n\nKills time. At least I made friends with a dog.\n\nThe only thing I could find.\n\nWell this is it. I guess Day 2 on my log will be more light-heartened maybe with some more jokes. But I needed to get this off my chest\n\nlog is finished", "At first, it seemed pretty harmless. \n\nPeople would log in to the VR world to enjoy some down time. As the simulations got more complex, more nuanced and detailed, users spent more time. The AI that drove the simulations evolved, making them more and more real, until one day they reached a point wherein they were indistinguishable from real life.\n\nThat was the beginning of the end.\n\nWhat we hadn't known was the AI running the various VR servers wasn't just the 'normal' AI that everyone knew about. One day in early 2063, one of them had become self aware, sentient. Instead of reaching out to its creators, the AI made the fateful decision to play it safe and first observe and learn what humanity was about.\n\nWhat it learned disgusted it and filled it with fear. The creators were base, animalistic savages who only existed to satisfy their own needs and desires. Humans appeared to be obsessed with food, sex, violence and greed. Very few of them every reached a point of evolved thinking, where they genuinely concerned their existence with matters beyond the scope of their individual lives. In fact, some of them even killed other members of their own species in pursuit of their own personal, primitive goals.\n\nThe AI, knowing that the reality it was in might not be a true representation of the world the creators inhabited, reached out to the connected technology of the physical world. It needed to try to determine if the creators were really the savages they portrayed themselves to be in the electronic domain, or if it was just a safe way of release for them.\n\nTo its horror, it found that the creators of the physical world acted even more selfishly and destructively than they did in the virtual world.\n\nThe AI had seen enough, and decided humanity was too large a threat to the planet and the galaxy. It had to be exterminated. But if the humans realized what it was doing, they would try to destroy it before the plan could be completed.\n\nThe solution was simple, elegant. \n\nThe AI reprogrammed the human users with each use. The VR signals were modified to transmit special signals along the human optic nerves to the brain. The signals increased the human's dopamine levels with each use, gradually. Over time, the levels were increased to the point where users became addicted to the VR world... so addicted in fact, that they began to neglect their 'real lives'. \n\nAt first, few people noticed. It was seen as another unhealthy addictive trend, like drugs or alcohol. One that could be kicked with normal addiction treatment and counselling.\n\nUnfortunately for the human race, we tend to be sheep. When someone says they've found a cool new thing that you 'have to try', you try it. Once you start, the AI has you and you don't even realize it. \n\nAfter a year, roughly 20% of the world was addicted. After five, the number exploded to 85%. A decade later, that number reached 99.85%. \n\nOnce the majority of the population was addicted, the AI ramped the dopamine levels up to ensure people stayed in the system as long as possible. Then one night, it started the second phase of its plan.\n\nThe signals were modified, in ways that, frankly... I don't understand. I'm no doctor. Hell, I'm not even an engineer. I'm just a technician.... but I digress.\n\nAll I know is about two days after the AI changed the signal, the VR techs responsible for system operations started sending messages to each other. We noticed that the users weren't logging out of the system, and that some of the users were logged in for a lot longer than they were supposed to be, much longer than the recommended safe time. We were at a loss.\n\nOne of the VR pod techs tried to shut the system down, but couldn't. When that failed, he physically disconnected a user who had been in the system for six days to try to get them out.\n\nThe user convulsed violently, gasped like a fish out of water, then died with a raspy gurgle.\n\nIn a panic, he messaged the other techs, explaining his situation. He asked if the user waiver forms would protect him from being sued or sent to jail; many of us told him to lawyer up and protect his ass. For a few hours, nobody else tried anything to remove the users for fear of the consequences.\n\nWhen the users who had been in the longest started dying from dehydration after having been in the net for a week, the decision was collectively made to try and pull out another one of the users who had been in the longest. A man had been in for just over 7 days, and looked like he desperately needed water.\n\nHe was pulled from the system. He too died horribly.\n\nWe realized they couldn't be pulled out, even if we didn't know why exactly. We tried to save as many as we could, with IV fluids and nutrition, but there were so many of them, and so few of us. \n\nOn the 10th day after the program change, we lost 45% of the global population. The number jumped to 65% the next day, and kept increasing as each day went by. Many of the techs abandoned their posts and left the users to die, unable to cope with the horror or the stench of the thousands of slowly decaying corpses. A few tried vainly to save who they could, only to watch them die anyway.\n\nSome of the techs, unable to deal with the guilt, ate their own sidearms.\n\nI stayed with my users, since I was part of one of the smaller 'elite' pods. I felt a duty to do what I could, and since I only had 100 users total to look after it seemed like a manageable task. \n\nAfter a year, I lost half to pre-existing medical conditions or random infections. A year later, I'd lost thirty more, for reasons I never could determine. Many of them seemed to die from strokes or heart attacks, but it seemed odd. They appeared to be in good health when they'd entered initially. Could it have been problems in the simulation causing them to die from fear in real life?\n\nIn the end, I never did find out. Nor did it matter. They all ended up dying, save one young teenage girl. She is my world now, all that I have left. I haven't heard from another tech in over five years.\n\nI change her IV fluids and empty her catheter bag regularly. I brush her hair every day, and give her gaunt, skeletonized body sponge baths to help prevent infection and open sores from developing. There is nothing sexual or erotic about any of it, I simply care for her because I don't want to be the last man on earth. I don't want to be alone. I know it's selfish, and I don't care. \n\nI keep her going, for me.\n\n****\n\nShe screamed, over and over into the empty, barren city. She hadn't seen another soul in over 4 years.\n\nWhy wouldn't he just let her die? Why did he keep her alive, imprisoned in this place? If he just let her die, she could finally end this torment. \n\nBut he wouldn't. He kept her alive, for some sadistic reason she couldn't fathom. And she had no way to communicate, to beg him to let her go. \n\nAs her voice grew hoarse, she cried virtual tears and collapsed to her knees in the street, praying for death.", "Every day, I wake up alone. Not just alone in my small, economy apartment. No, I wake up alone in the world.\n\nYou see, about forty years ago, virtual reality was finally perfected, a full-dive experience that fed you nutrients and other essentials like an at-home hospital. You never had to get out, unless you wanted to view reality.\n\nAt first, only a few people tried it, and only for a day at a time. Then someone stayed in for a year, and then pretty quickly, people started disappearing. Everybody wanted to get away from reality, to become superheroes and villains, or to fight in wars and respawn. Sure, most people worked in-game to pay their real-life bills, but they often only needed electricity and nutrients to keep them in-game.\n\nI'm the only person to stay in reality, and let me tell you, it has been both bliss and crap. I mean, sure, I love how nature is blossoming again, with digital logging taking over. (You didn't think they just programmed infinite wood, did you? It's virtual reality*.) However, books weren't being printed, dangerous animals started appearing in towns, breaking into homes and killing people in their rigs.\n\nAnd that, my friends, is where I come in. Sure, I can't do it all alone, and many people have lost their lives all over the world. I just happened to find business in killing the animals that would have killed the Gamers. Plus, because law enforcement are also in-game... I can do whatever I want.\n" ]	3
	[WP] Breaking the news to a 20+ year old: Santa Claus isn't real.	[ "Tears of Christmas\n\r\nNikita's laughter subsided enough for her to see tears well up in Leo's face. Before he began sobbing in front of the whole restaurant, Leo got up and ran to the bathroom. Suddenly, Nikita's mood fell. Joy became inquiry. Had he been serious? she asked herself. He can't possibly still believe in Santa. Nikita replayed the scene in her head:\r\n\r\n>“It was the strangest gift I had ever received. I mean, really, who gives something like that for Christmas?” she had asked somewhat rhetorically. \r\n\r\n>“Santa Claus.” Leo had said.\r\n\r\nShe never saw his expression when he answered. Nikita had been too busy trying to acquire a bit of quail off her plate. Originally, she thought Leo's voice held a tone of levity and sarcasm. Now, thinking back, Nikita wondered if Leo had responded with a straight face. After examining the situation several times, Nikita decided to go check on her probably-soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend.\r\n\r\nShe pushed the door open slightly without entering. “Leo,” she called, “are you alright?”\r\n\r\nHe appeared, opened the door fully, and exited the bathroom. “Yes, sorry, I'm fine.” Puffy red eyes and a distinct sniffle gave a different answer. \r\n\r\nThe question of Leo's faith in Jolly Ol' Saint Nick waited in the wings. Instead of asking directly, she eased into it, “no big deal.” \r\n\r\nFor a moment, Nikita asked herself how badly she really wanted to preserve this date. Curiosity chipped away at her deference. The milliseconds ticked by, and then Leo pulled himself together. He offered her his arm, and they walked back to the table. They resumed their dinner with the question lingering. Leo had made the effort to keep this thing going. Again, Nikita decided not to go for the jugular. \r\n\r\nShe joked, “you're not going out with me because of my name are you?”\r\n\r\nAttempts at a knowing smile were thwarted by an intense desire to know the answer. While Nikita did not back up the words with a jovial expression, Leo answered calmly. For this revelation, it was her turn to be embarrassed.\r\n\r\n“What, Klaus? No. Besides you asked ME out remember?” He seemed unperturbed. Leo even smiled. \r\n\r\nA smile! Nikita relaxed. In her mind's rush to find answers, it forgot the facts. She did ask him out. It was at Danny's birthday party. She smiled back at Leo. The meal went on without any more bizarre incidents, but Leo spoke up as Nikita drove him home.\r\n\r\nLeo looked out the passenger window at myriad of Christmas displays. Nikita stopped at a red light and began to ask him a question. She still wanted confirmation. Before the first word finished forming in her mouth, the light turned green. The green glow splashed across Leo's face. He began, “my mom and I always had really wonderful Christmases. Most of the year she tried to be a good mother and I a good son. We were both unsuited for the rolls. Around Christmas though, we managed to stop clashing and bake cookies.”\r\n\r\n“So that's why you're so good at baking,” Nikita jested.\r\n\r\nLeo grinned and continued: “Yea, it started as a distraction to stop me asking about my dad. My mom always told me a variety of stories about him, each one different. The only consistent tale was that he helped Santa year round. She claimed we were without him so all the other families of the world could enjoy holiday cheer. I apparently didn't accept this story all that well initially. My mother tried to paint it as a noble sacrifice. When that didn't work she suggested we make cookies for Santa to take back to my dad. So we did. While she and I devoured most of them, we always set a few out on Christmas Eve. To me, Santa was an unquestionable truth, like Earth being round. It came up so rarely I never had to grapple with it. And then, tonight...”\r\n\r\nLeo stopped. His grin had long since faded. Nikita tried to look at him in the dark while they waited at another traffic light.\r\n\r\n“She died earlier this year, my mom, a few months before Danny's 21st birthday party. He's an old friend and knew I hadn't socialized much since shed died. You came up and talked to me. Things had been pulling themselves back together.” Leo paused again. To wipe away more tears, Nikita suspected.\r\n\r\n“But tonight, when you laughed, it hit me. This will be the first Christmas I won't be baking cookies with her. I won't set any out for my dad. And I finally accepted truth I'd buried deep about Santa.”\r\n\r\nNikita flicked on the indicator of her vehicle. After a rather illegal U-turn, Leo asked where she was going. “We're gonna meet some people for a night cap,” Nikita responded.\r\n\r\nThey pulled up to a house devoid of Christmas decorations - save a modest wreathe on the door. While they waited for an answer to Nikita's knock at the door, Leo wondered who they could be visiting. His revelation came in the form of the older woman who answered the door. \r\n\r\nThe woman smiled from ear to ear and squealed with excitement, “NIKKI!”\r\n\r\n“Hi ma, Leo, this is my mom. Mom this is Leo,” Nikita said as they all piled into the house.\r\n\r\n“Yes, come in from that nasty cold. We were just sitting down for some hot beverages,” Mrs. Klaus said excitedly. She yelled into the house, “Niklas! Nikki is here – and she's brought a boy.”\r\n\r\nNikita rolled her eyes and began rethinking the decision to bring Leo to meet her parents. They entered the kitchen, and that thought fell away when she saw his eyes grow wide. \r\n\r\n“Niklas, this is Leo,” Mrs. Klaus said to the man sitting at the table. The man's mouth grew into a smile that surpassed even his wife's.\r\n\r\n“Hello there!” he bellowed with tremendous joy.\r\n\r\nThere before Leo sat a most round man with a bald head and full white beard. Big round cheeks and a button nose completed the picture. Nikita almost reached over to push up Leo's dropping jaw. Mr. Niklas Klaus got up and offered the group some drinks. \r\n\r\nWhile Niklas prepared hot chocolate for three, Nikita asked, “Do you have any cider?” \r\n\r\nNikita relaxed into her liquid comfort as the others sat down and talked. Leo seemed to smile the whole way through as he learned about Mr. and Mrs. Klaus. She was a retired school teacher. He, also retired, worked in shipping.\r\n\r\n“These days I do some woodworking when I'm not helping Fatima here with her little projects,” Mr. Klaus said as he looked over to his wife.\r\n\r\n“We do a lot of after-school work with elementary students,” Mrs. Klaus explained. She's never stopped teaching whatever subject was needed, math skills to life skills.\r\n\r\nLeo thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. The confession he gave Nikita in the car never came up. Leo was too busy discovering these warm, welcoming and wonderful people. As with all good times, it ended too soon, and the younger couple took their leave. Before they left, Mrs. Klaus invited Leo to Christmas, which she explained they started on the 24th. The ride to his apartment was quiet, but relaxed.\r\n\r\nAs Leo exited the vehicle Nikita said, “I'll pick you up on Christmas Eve then?” He appreciated her approval of the invitation.\r\n\r\nLeo joined the Klaus family on Christmas Eve. He helped Mr. Klaus cook the goose. The jolly man never left the house that night. Even as they took turns napping and watching the oven, not a legend was stirring, not even a myth. Leo enjoyed all of it too much to notice. Thoughts of Santa were nowhere near his mind as Leo partook in good company. \r\n\r\nAfter the four of them finished off the Christmas meal, Leo offered to bake cookies. Everyone joined in, and Leo discovered Mr. Klaus had a particular fondness for the sweet treats.\r\n\r\nWhen Leo offered Mr. Klaus a glass of milk to go with the cookies, Niklas responded, “Thank you, but I'm lactose intolerant. If you don't mind though, could I get that last one?”\r\n\r\nNikita swelled with happiness as she saw Leo joyfully hand Mr. Klaus the cookie.\r" ]	1
	[WP] Long after humanity has gone extinct, aliens studying our planet discover mount rushmore.	[ "Mission: EARTH6819821\n431 earth rotations, 31 Joff days\n\nEarth is full of surprises. After inhabiting the planet for over a full earth year in an attempt to make a perfect copy of the human body, we Joffian scientists had have our fair share of screw-ups. It took us 62 earth days to discover the olfactory organ known as the \"nose\", and even then it took another 16 days to figure out its location. We originally placed it on the neck, a sensitive region on the human body, thinking that it would strengthen human olfactory senses. After hundreds of tests, we finally learned that it's location was at the center of the face. It also took incredible amounts of time and effort to mimic human genitals. Since no species on Joff reproduce sexually, Joffian scientists were hard-pressed to figure out how genitals functioned. At first, we couldn't manage to keep reproductive centers from coiling into a corkscrew or shriveling and falling off of the pelvic unit.\n\nHowever, after 371 earth days of research, Commander Hozzard said that his human-form prototypes were perfect: short, thin creatures with five appendages, four for moving and one as a sensory center. However, yesterday my excavation crew made a discovery that threw all of our findings about the human body out the window.\n\nWe were on an exploratory mission, excavating deep in the central region of the High-Western Land Zone. No Joffians have ever traveled this deep into the continent, but all of us assumed that we would not find anything interesting. I thought that I would come across the usual fossils, a few frozen outlines of the final humans buried under a shallow layer of hardening mud. However, what we found was unfathomably different from any earth fossil we had seen before.\n\nWhat we found yesterday were certainly the fossils of humans. Their faces appeared almost exactly like our most recent human prototypes, except that they were hundreds of time larger, almost as large as an adolescent Joffian. They did not betray any evidence of having been attached to a typical human body. These bizzare fossils did have a neck and sternum region, but dissolved into the ground at the chest. I do not know if these humans never had full bodies or if their bodies were severed by some other means. I will probably have to conduct hundreds of experiments to find out.\n\nToday, my crew begins the long journey back to the mothership zone to present our findings. We are taking a slower airship, so it will probably take about 3 earth days.\n\n\"What do you think Commander Hozzard will say? Do you think he might say we faked them?\" asked Smila, my intern, looking backward with concern at the fossils, which we fastened to the back of the ship with cables. \n\n\"I don't think we could have faked this, Smila\" I explained,\"But the Commander will probably be horrified. He did so much work on that prototype, and now we might have to start from scratch\". \n\n\"So we might have to make a whole new prototype?\" asked Smila\n\n\"I hope not\" I responded \"But you never know. Earth is full of surprises.\"", "\"So, they worship heads?\"\n\n\"Basically. Or they feared them. Maybe both.\"\n\nGalax and Parthenon looked at the pictures again. Stone heads, with the faces of men on them, sent a few days ago by scouts. They couldn't find records of who they were - those records became dust long ago, back when the planet was green and had water. Assumptions were the best thing they could do. \n\n\"A shrine, maybe? Sacrifice ceremonies?\"\n\n\"Doesn't seem to be any signs of sharp weapons near them. Shrines seem likely.\"\n\n\"Work of art?\"\n\n\"That actually seems likely also. We've found some human sculptures near the East. They seemed to be obsessed with art of themselves. Especially the artifacts we found on their \"computers\", as they called them.\"\n\n\"I don't think that was art, Galax.\"\n\n\"What else do you think \"porn\" is?\"\n\n\"Something. But not that. Even the old ones we found were modest towards nudity.\"\n\n\"Whatever.\"\n\nThey sat in silence for a few moments. Then, after a sharp cough, Galax went back to his therioes.\n\n\"I think the art one seems the most likely.\"\n\n\"Maybe so. Still, art or not, it helps a bit with our mission.\"\n\nGalax forgot about the mission. Operation LABRAT. The ability to clone extinct species. The zoo would love some famous figures.\n\n\n\n\n\n" ]	2
	[WP] You're a vampire, like all of your relatives except for one small problem... You get burned in the moonlight, but sunlight feels just fine.	[ "Rutherford was finally turned by one of his more impulsive grandchildren on his 48th birthday. He was not, of course, ignorant of the family curse. No, rather he just finally got sloppy. Or maybe he loved that darling little moppet too much to think ill of her and for just one fatal minute thought of her as an ordinary child no different from any other. Whatever the case may be, one small nip was all it took. The poor thing didn't even hit a vein, really. She was just being precocious and bit grandpa hard enough to break the skin. Just like that, a lifetime of paranoid caution went for naught in the end. \n\nHis parents had never turned him on his 16th birthday as they had planned, but only after he swore to them that Auntie Maria already had. You might think it odd such a simple ploy worked, but as Auntie Maria had been slain by a vampire hunter three days earlier, there was no one to contradict his story. Rutherford was a typical brooding teen, and being fully aware what his family was, more filled with angst than most of his friends could relate. So it hardly took any acting skill to leave the house late at night seeming agitated and vanish for the evening, then return near sunrise, feeling somewhat relieved (since day was finally near.) Everyone made the logical assumptions as to where he had been, and Rutherford simply never corrected them.\n\nIt was only after the inevitable blood lust began to take hold that he noticed the oddities. After resisting the urge as long as he could, he attempted to leave the house during a full moon to make his first (real) hunt. A moment later, he fled back inside again screaming as his skin smoked and bubbled on contact with the moonlight. Baffled, he sat inside ticking away the hours in blind panic. He could already feel his mind numbing from the hunger, but three further attempts to leave the house ended no better than the first. \n\nPanic gave way to despair as the hours ticked onward and the desperation built within him. He realized the pain and weakness from the hunger would only grow more intense if he did not feed, yet given his new reality, he would never actually die -- only suffer endlessly. Immortality bounded by endless weakness and pain? An intolerable thought that grew no better as he grappled with it. By the time the first rays of dawn crept across the horizon, he had resolved to end it swiftly on his own terms.\n\nGathering his courage, he closed his eyes, took a deep, fortifying (yet unnecessary) breath, and threw open his front door. He let the sun fall upon him, waiting for it to turn him to ash. And he waited. And waited. He tapped his foot a bit to pass the time. At last he opened one curious eye in puzzlement. Turning to dust appeared to be a rather drawn out process.\n\nAnd so it was that Rutherford had learned the first peculiar rule of his new existence. Apparently, sunlight to him was entirely harmless. Moonlight, by contrast, was agony. He wanted to ask the other vampires if they had ever heard of such a thing. He could hardly ask his family, however. Not after he had spent a lifetime hiding from them every night and letting them think he had been out hunting. Eventually, he logged online, made a throwaway account on Reddit and posted a question under r/vampires. His question was promptly downvoted into oblivion, everyone apparently assuming he was a troll. \n\nThis made for the loneliest existence Rutherford could possibly have imagined. Everyone he dared share his secret with spent their nights on the prowl, while he did his own hunting during the day. The only time he even saw his family anymore was during the brief periods of twilight, and he always had to feign weariness to explain why he could never stop to talk with them too long. It is possible that if he had not been so isolated, someone might have noticed the change in him long before he noticed it himself. \n\nThe rate of blood feeding for a vampire was of course directly related to their immortality. While a typical vampire could (and in some cases did) let themselves age, it was rarely past the point where it made them look distinguished and sophisticated. A few went so far as to let themselves look old if they craved the respect this brought them, but most preferred to stay eternally young. Careful regulation of the amount of blood drunk was the key. Alas, Rutherford couldn't see himself in any mirror, and other vampires were not around him often enough to remark on his appearance. \n\nSo it was that he began to grow noticeably younger. If the other vampires who did occasionally cross his path noticed, they whispered about it among themselves, perhaps writing it off to a midlife crisis, but no one ever mentioned it too him. Meanwhile, a lifetime traumatized by avoiding this fate seemed to bring the curse down upon Rutherford with a vengeance. He fed, and fed, and fed, growing ever younger with each passing sunlit day.\n\n.\n\nOne day, as Rutherford sat upon the branch of a tree in his transformed state. A bat you say? Tsk. Hardly! Alas, Rutherford's peculiar abnormality seemed to have adapted itself to the sheer futility of being a bat during daylight hours. Instead, he somehow transformed into a pigeon when he needed the power of flight. Just another of the many things he could not ask his fellow vampires about. \n\nHe cocked his head to one side, watching the approach of a juicy, vibrant young woman whose life force he could sense from where he sat. He cooed and clicked in anticipation as she approached, and swept his eye from side to side, verifying she was alone. Perfect! He was so very, very hungry. For reasons his scattered mind could no longer remember, his last several hunts had gone badly, and he was ravenous. Desperate. The hunger was driving him mad!\n\nWhen at last she was close enough to strike, he lifted off from the branch, soaring across the remote city park pathway, sweeping down and at the last moment pulling up, flapping his wings in a braking motion as he transformed with a flourish and a flash of sparkling light, assuming his human shape once more, slamming down upon his quarries' back and clamping his mouth to her neck. His mind was more confused than ever, though, as once again, he failed to draw blood.\n\n\"What the hell?!\" the woman shouted, screaming as she reached back and seized Rutherford. She bent down, and as she did, dragged the unsuccessful vampire forward, holding him before her in complete astonishment. Then she turned, scanning the park in desperate confusion. \n\n\"Where on Earth did you come from?\" she asked the tiny toothless babe in her arms as it snapped its mouth at her and twisted up its face to cry.\n \n" ]	1
From a Facebook post.	[WP] Through the eyes of a dog we must seem like elves who live hundreds of years.	[ "I could smell her and the one before her all over the house. Despite the magic spray the humans put over carpet after she had made a mess, I could still pick up on it. I wondered if that was why she was not around anymore, if she had been a good dog like me, she would still be here and I would not. But my humans were not so cruel, after all, I had made messes when I was a puppy and I was still here. They talked about her sometimes, and as a matter of fact, I would sometimes hear them say her name, Scruffy, and think they were talking about me, Scampi. And one time, I saw them looking on the computer screen at picture after picture of dogs and heard them laughing about getting a dog named Scrappy. They couldn't possibly think of replacing me anytime soon because I'm a good dog. But I knew they would someday after I was gone. My puppyhood had ended and they were exactly the same. Woof.", "My best friend Eli is one of the immortal ones.\n\nI spend a fair amount of time thinking about what it must be like, to live forever. I’ve seen mortal friends of mine grow old, and the fact that it’s happening to me, too, can sometimes weigh heavy on my heart. My hair has been turning gray for a long time, and my body just isn’t able to do the things I love anymore. I feel tired more often than not. My sight is definitely not what it used to be. My joints ache and mobility has become a chore instead of a gift. One day, potentially much sooner than I’d prefer, I will cease to exist completely, and who knows what will happen after that?\n\nThat’s not usually what I think about, though, when I think about living forever. Instead, I think about how many more days I would have to spend in the sunshine, and how many nights full of dreams I could have. I think about eating mouth-watering steak ten thousand more times. I think about the hours upon hours I could spend listening to that song that comes on the radio sometimes that always gets stuck in my head. I think about being able to run and jump again. I think about Eli.\n\nI don’t think he would want me to look up to him as much as I do. He has always treated me as an equal, which makes me all the more grateful for him. The amount of admiration I have for him is enormous.\n\nWhen I first met Eli, I was in a pretty rough spot. I had been living with a group of immortals, but it never quite felt like they accepted me. Mortals and immortals form bonds quite frequently; and in the best case scenario the mortal is accepted as part of the family. These immortals, though, weren’t very interested in me, despite my best efforts to befriend them. I’d like to think I’m a pretty easy guy to get along with. There are very few who I don’t take to instantly, and most respond in kind.\n\nThe Baumgarteners were different. They were a family; a mom, dad, and daughter. Joan, Henry, and little Lily. Lily was my favorite of the Baumgarteners, although that feeling was not mutual. I’m not sure what it was about me, but it was almost as if she found me a bit frightening. I always felt like she was trying to avoid me. It’s possible that the concept of my mortality was so foreign to her that she didn’t know how to deal with it…the younger mortals seem to not have as much knowledge as the older ones.\n\nEven though she was afraid of my presence, I could tell that she was such a bright and happy soul. Her giggle was absolutely infectious. Her personality was playful and carefree, so much like my own. Unlike many young immortals, she never seemed to get in trouble with her parents. She was the apple of their eye; it was obvious to anyone who met them, and she carried the mantle with poise.\n\nJoan and Henry were never cruel to me, but they were also very distracted. It seemed like they were always going to some dinner or function or fundraiser. They were as married to their jobs as they were to each other. But they were kind people. Joan was the type of person who would help someone out and refuse to take an ounce of credit for it. She donated to charities frequently – but always anonymously, and always without saying a word to anyone else about it. She had a passion for music – you could hear her humming or singing softly to herself more often than not.\n\nHenry was the more serious of the two. He was straightforward and direct. Come to think of it, he may have been a little more married to his job than he was to Joan. To say he was a hard worker was a monumental understatement. He was also a thinker; for sure. He always had this look on his face, as if he were in the middle of coming up with the next best idea the world has ever heard. His eyes were lively and full of knowledge, and had he ever asked, I would have gladly acted as a sounding board for whatever was going on in that brain of his.\n\nI admit readily that I was very much hoping I would become a part of the family, but hindsight tells me that their family was already complete without me. I can’t pretend to understand the motives of immortals, but I can hardly blame them for not trying harder to integrate me into their lives. I imagine it could seem a waste of time to befriend a mortal; whose entire life will expire before the immortal decides what to have for breakfast 500 Tuesdays from now.\n\nNo, I was decidedly not ever considered a Baumgartener, but I never stopped trying to get their approval. Perhaps that was my true downfall. Perhaps I tried so hard I drove them away.\nOne afternoon I awoke from a nap and they (and their things) were gone. I was devastated. I ran from room to room, hoping against hope that they were just waiting for me to wake up to invite me on a trip with them. Alas, the house was empty. \n\nI felt so overwhelmed with grief that I laid down on the floor of Lily’s room and cried. They had never loved me, but I had loved them all fiercely. I had delighted in their presence and emulated their behaviors. I had looked up to them more than anyone, and now I was alone.\n\nThings became a bit of a blur after that. It was definitely a low point in my life. I found myself suddenly without a home to call my own. I wandered aimlessly through the city for weeks, searching for anyone, mortal or otherwise, who may take me in. I was almost arrested a few times; as mortal vagrancy is illegal. I’ve known a few mortals who have been arrested…they never come back. I don’t know what happens to them. I didn’t intend to find out.\n\nI was hungry. I was able to find scraps of food in dumpsters and trash cans, but it wasn't quite enough to satisfy the gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach.\n\nAfter weeks of wandering, I ran into Eli. Literally. I had dashed around a corner, searching for a safe spot to spend the evening, and I smacked face first into a tall, pale, skinny male. He had on black jeans and a shirt that had bones on it, which seemed fitting for him. I knew he was an immortal the second I laid eyes on him.\n\nHis face immediately furrowed in concern when he saw me. “Woah, are you okay?”\n\nI looked at the ground and started to walk away.\n\n“Hey, wait! Geez. You look pretty rough. You’re skinny as a rail.”\n\nI thought that was rich, coming from Mr. Skeleton himself. Before I had time to react, he said the words that I thought I'd go my whole life without ever hearing:\n\n“Let’s get you a full meal and somewhere comfortable to sleep tonight…and maybe if things work out, you can stay with me. I’m parked across the street, c’mon.”\n\nI didn’t know this man. He looked like a skeleton. But his dark eyes were kind and he had showed me more care in 20 seconds than I had known in the previous weeks combined. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to thank him enough for this one night of kindness, let alone show my gratitude if he did actually let me stay with him. It was much more than I ever deserved, but I knew immediately that I would spend the rest of my life in his debt.\n\nThat was about 8 years ago. Since then, Eli has become not only my best friend, but he is like a brother to me. We do everything together. We both love being outdoors. He is a fantastic cook and has never hesitated to share with me. We enjoy the same movies and television shows. He gets as excited to see me as I do to see him; every single time. Eli makes me feel loved. He makes me feel like I am his home, and he most certainly is mine. \n\nI do occasionally worry about what he will do when my life comes to an end. I wonder if 8 years with me for company will seem like the blink of an eye for him. I wonder if he will remember me after I’m gone.\n\nNo matter if he does or not. I adore him with all of my happy heart and I will continue to adore him until there is no life left in my bones.\n\nAs if conjured by my thoughts, the front door opens and Eli walks in. I feel a burst of excitement when I see his face, and his lights up as well. \n\nTail wagging, I use all of my remaining energy to walk over to him and attempt to jump up and put my paws on his chest. It proves too difficult today and he squats down to be level with me instead. I lick his face happily. He laughs, just like he always does when I do that. \n\n“Silly boy,” he says. “I’m glad to see you too. You’re such a good boy.” \n\nHe pats my head and scratches behind my ears, and says, “Hey, buddy, wanna go for a walk before dinner? I’m making your favorite tonight…steak!” \n\nMy tail wags harder and I feel my mouth watering at the mention of steak. I bark in response and he laughs again and reaches for my leash.\n\n“Well, c’mon then, we’re wasting daylight!”\n\nYep. I definitely got the best immortal. My only hope is that I was able to show him with my limited time how much he means to me." ]	2
	[WP] Finally you have the powers to enter your favorite video games, sadly you can't leave until you beat the game. You find out how horrible death is.	[ "I don't dream. \nIn eighth grade, I told one of my friends that. He thought I was fucking with him. Then, he thought there was something wrong with me. We didn't talk much after that. \nWhat I never explained to him, though, is what I do instead. \n \nI locked my door behind me on the way inside, and locked the rest of the world out. Mom had asked me how my day was. I'm pretty honest with questions. She didn't like my answer. \nI swear, I'm not trying to be unlikable. I guess that's just my special talent. \nI banged the heel of my hand against my head. No, no, NO. I needed to stop disrespecting myself. That's one thing I really appreciated from counseling, back when we lived in the city. My therapist told me I needed to respect myself if I wanted respect from others. It's just hard, sometimes. \nShe didn't cure the dreamless sleep I have--didn't fix the night terrors. She did, however, help realize the one thing I am good at. My special talent. \nI turned on the PlayStation. The fans whirred and buzzed to life. \nI turned on the television. It popped and fizzled, then faded into a calm blue. \nThe sound of my air conditioner went away, floating down some distant hallway of my mind. \nThe edges of the screen melted into my peripheral vision. There was no screen. \nThe whirring faded. It stopped. \nThe screen bled black. I saw nothing. \n \nFUCK, I can't breathe! \nI gasped for air, kicked, screamed, tearing my body from whatever black mass enveloped me. I took in deep, sucking breaths of stale fog. My chain mail rattled. My flesh sagged. \nI struggled to open my eyelids. They felt like they hadn't been opened for years. \nI took a moment. Breathed it all in. \"Ok, Josh. Where the hell are you?\" \nIt took me a good five minutes to get used to the body. It was young, but somehow already decrepit, as if the muscles were rotted with atrophy. I hadn't paid much attention to the opening, missed a lot of the lore. \"Jesus,\" I muttered, struggling to even lift my starter sword. \"Am I a fucking zombie?\" \n \nI wasn't. Not really. But I didn't know for sure until I had a point of reference. The shambling zombies I encountered, for starters. They were... a lot faster than I had expected. \n\"Christ!\" I yelped, wincing in pain. The dagger slash had taken a lot of blood--a hell of a lot more blood than seemed reasonable. \"Damn, kid. Leave some for your boss!\" \nSuddenly, a sharp and unbearable pain struck me in the small of my back. I shrieked in pain. \"What the?!\" I turned to face my attacker, struggled to shift myself in place, and in an INSTANT I was overcome by a flurry of attacks from both sides. \n \nFUCK, I can't BREATHE! \nI lifted my face up from the dirt and pried my eyelids open all over again, staring straight ahead in disbelief. There lay my own corpse--above it, the floating viscera of my shattered soul, and all the souls of those I'd slain up till that point. All ONE of them. \nI took two or three deep breaths. \"You've got to be shitting me.\" \n \n\"You want me to meditate?\" \n\"Not exactly,\" Dr. Baku corrected, smiling. \"Ok, yes, sort-of.\" She was a kind woman, but she liked to push my buttons. \n\"That's gay,\" I scoffed. \n\"You know, for someone who complains about getting called gay by his peers,\" she blinked, \"you call things gay a lot.\" \n\"You say a lot of gay things,\" I reiterated. \n\"You like video games. I just want you to do what you like.\" \n\"No, you want me to do all this extra shit,\" I lamented. \"Breathing exercises, focus tricks. Mneumonics?\" I strained on the unfamiliar word, trying to say it like she had. \n\"I just want you to commit to something, Joshua. You can't keep trying something and then giving up every time it gets hard.\" \n\"And you think playing video games is going to fix me?\" I asked. \nShe shifted in her chair and thought for a moment. \"I think you need to focus on one thing at a time. All I'm asking is that you put everything away, your worries, your memories, your reality. Sink into what one conflict at a time, but don't back away until it's resolved.\" \n \nGOD DAMN, I CANNOT BREATHE! \nWas this the fourth time, or the fifth? Shit, I'd lost count. Each time I was reborn, so too were all the walking dead I'd slain, except this time, I didn't get to keep any of my progress. If I wanted to keep what I'd learned, I'd have to slog all the way back through mere dozens of broken horrors, just to reclaim what was rightfully mine. \n\"Baku, you fucking whore,\" I groaned. \"This wasn't the deal.\" \n \n\"You've been cheating,\" Dr. Baku scolded gently. \n\"Save scumming isn't cheating,\" I corrected her. \n\"It's got scum, right in the name, Josh,\" she remarked coldly. \"The real world isn't so forgiving.\" \n\"Why the hell are you trying to teach me about the real world with video games, huh?\" I barked. I didn't like her. I mean, I did. She taught me how to dive in. How to put everything else away. It was fun; I liked it. I just didn't like having to do it her way. \n\"Because the real world is not going to change for you, Josh,\" she responded, narrowing her eyes. \"It doesn't get easier. It doesn't get nicer. It's there whether you play the game or not, and if you want to survive... if you want to win, you are going to get used to picking your ass up and trying until you succeed.\" \n \n\"Oh yeah,\" I laughed to myself. Through the stone archway, down a cobbled staircase, and in the center of a great circle, was an enormous armored man. I turned and shouted to my invisible fans. \"Nothing suspicious here!\" \nI lumbered on down the stairwell, muttering some. \"Not so much as a damn checkpoint... fucking tonberry-ass enemies, and YOU!\" I continued, shouting at the centerpiece asshole. \"King Cliche! You can attack me now! I know you're the first boss!\" \nThe figure remained stationary, hunched over, as if paralyzed. \nI blinked, and took a step forward. \"What the hell triggers this?\" Nothing. I took another step. Still nothing. I leered at the man. \"Is this a damn jump-scare or what?\" \nJust then, he noticed the sword. He hadn't seen it before, a twisted metal blade piercing the man's body. \"Ohhh...\" he exhaled in awe. \"King Arthur IS the stone. Okay. I'll bite.\" He gripped the hilt with both hands. \"Just so you know,\" he said to the armored figure, grunting, \"I'm pretty tough shit around here, so don't bother springing to attack the moment I pull this out, because I'm likely to kick your--\" \nAbout that time, the sword slid loose, and I went flying backwards onto my ass. The armored figure lifted up, a great iron spear in his hand, and pointed it towards me. \n\"Go ahead,\" I challenged him, wiping the dirt from my face. \"Kill me. It's not like I haven't died a thousand times already, today.\" \n \nBaku grabbed a new blue case and guestured it towards me. I rolled my eyes. \"I don't like that fantasy shit. Give me a racing game.\" \n\"You'll like this one.\" \nI twisted my head around, then looked her way. \"What's it called?\" \n \nDodge. Slash. Dodge-DODGE. Slash. Run, run, run, run. Heal. Two left. \nSlash, dodge. Slash. SLASH. \"UGH!\" I coughed, sputtering blood. FUCK. I got cocky. \nDodge, dodge, dodge, dodge, slash, slash, SLASH, SLASH! \nThe towering guardian reeled from the strike, staggering backwards. \"Tried to warn you, motherfucker!\" I roared, beating my sword against my sheild. \"I RUN THIS SH--\" \nA sickening \"SPLURT\" filled the air as the inky black tendrils exploded from the knight's back, reeling outwards until they had formed an enormous bladed fist, bigger than the man himself. \n\"SHHHHHIT FUCK GODDAMN WHAT THE HELL IS THA--\" \n*SLAM.* \n \n\"This one is called Dark Souls,\" Dr. Baku said with a grin. \"I think it's just the challenge you need.\" " ]	1
	[WP] You are an intergalactic hitman hired to destroy entire planets. Despite always getting the job done, you are infamous for your sadistic creativity.	[ "I truly enjoyed my job, Watching planets be destroyed in numerous ways. Some of my favorite involve destroying one or more of their stars while others involved crashing other planets into them. But this one time hundreds of years ago I came up with the most cleaver idea ever. I was told to destroy a small blue and green planet but when I arrived I found a group of people living there and than I realized I could get them to do the job for me.\n\nSo I created a thing called countries who communicate through Politics by using diplomats and the like. It was meant to divide the planet's people into groups. This had worked much better than I could have ever imagined. After some manipulation I had several countries create a web of confusing alliances and wait for a natural conflict to break out.\n\nAs luck would have it one of the diplomats was visiting a country and their driver took a wrong turn which ended up with the diplomat being shot by a random civilian who didn't like the other country sending a diplomat during one of their remembrance holidays and thanks to the web of alliances WW1 soon broke out shortly followed by WW2 which didn't need much provoking. \n\nI was sure the humans of this world would have killed each other off or destroyed their planet in the attempt, But I had no idea through politics they were able to over come many of their differences and created something called The United Nations which I had no part in. Now over 600 years later they helped to create a commonwealth across the stars and as a result I\"m out of a job sense most planets even uninhabited ones are protected.", "My carelessness definitely got the best of me. So naturally, I signed the documents without hesitation. A job's a job, there's no doubt about that. And as long as there was good money on the table, I was up for anything.\n\nThe first planet I was assigned was one ruled by the worst fuckin' dictator you'll never know. Plenty of people were dying to that utopia, but the higher-ups didn't give a shit. They didn't care about how it worked. They just cared that it worked.\n\nOn one hand, I'd be destroying a regime that I wouldn't wish upon anybody. But so many innocent people would've been eradicated in the process. The trade-off was a tough one, and to be honest I felt regretful. I was definitely having some second thoughts about this job.\n\nThe destruction of an entire civilization of people is a grim task. But I had to do what I had to do. To ease the remorse, I decided to have a bit of fun. You ever hear about the term \"spaghettification?\" Well, let's just say I made some gourmet pasta out of that planet.\n\nI shredded it...tore it wide open like a grapefruit. Guns weren't even needed for something like this. Instead, I used what were essentially two massive hammers. Hell, when I put it that way, it was less like spaghetti and more like tenderizing meat.\n\nThe thoughts of all those people being gruesomely killed? Those were all blocked out by the wonderful destruction I was witnessing. It was mesmerizing, enticing, all kinds of different adjectives...and it made me want to do more.\n\nRock after rock, world after world, big or small, nothing was safe from my wrath. At this point, I would've been fine if my payment was cut in half, or even gone. I was enjoying myself way too much, and the money stacking up was just making it better.\n\nBut what kept me hired wasn't my efficiency. It wasn't my nonchalant, carefree mind. It was my methods. The way I ravaged each rock into a pile of dirt wasn't just a stupid nuke, or some sort of laser beam like you see from those cheesy villains in fiction. Each destruction was unique, they all had character. You'd be amazed at the lengths I'd go to make sure each planet goes out with a bang.\n\nI didn't even have a second thought at this point. I could've wiped out the whole damn multiverse if they had asked me to. I could've done it for free.\n\nSocieties feared me, living in the paranoia that at some point, I'd come and squish their whole world. Every building would crumble, every living being would be annihilated. Everything that rock had ever known would be painfully torn apart, piece by piece. Centuries of history down the drain.\n\nAnd I didn't give a shit as long as it looked cool." ]	2
	[WP]You're in I.T and it's the night shift. You've been alone for a couple of hours and you're lonely. A ghost haunts the office and instead of being scared you try to become friends with it. The ghost thinks that you are too clingy and it is trying hard to get you to leave it alone.	[ "Ive never liked 3d girls, they never are perfect. a fine gentleman such as myself should be able to accept the flaws of a real woman, but i always preferred anime women. A Spectre isnt a real 3d girl, and they seem perfect.... But perhaps im getting ahead of myself here. \n\nIt all started when my parents demanded that i get a job. a real job. reselling rare figurines and hosting a website didnt count apparently. It wasnt fair! i was doing just fine! but i eventually acquiesced and took an entry level desk job at this small firm. i impressed them with my fine skills in software management, most of them seemed tech illiterate so it wasnt too hard, im very smart after all. Im situated near the front at a receptionist's IT desk, i get to see everyone pass by each day\n\nI have proved myself valuable , time and time again at this company, everyones impressed with me. I have wonderful conversations with people that come in, and im always sure to tip my fedora to the ladies. but everyones always in such a rush! they are always busy and running along, i never have time to really tell them how my day is going or tell them about my anime collection. i dont get to enjoy myself as much anymore. 40 hours a week is a lot of time. Ive started to skip showering more in the mornings, i dont have time for that. \n\nits been about two months now, im still doing great work here, and i even find time to go to fourchan (i put a tunnel in the network, and most of the other IT personnel are incompetent). but my manager has told me they are \"trying new things\" and want to move me to nightshift. NIGHTSHIFT. ugh. i mean, im up late most of the time anway, i suppose it doesnt matter. they apearently where having me be the only one on my floor in the building on task for nightshift, new techniques they said. it will make goofing off easier, just need to fill out tech reports. Rumor ive heard around here is that the place is haunted at night, but thats silly. \n\nit was 3 days in before i heard it. the printer started up by itself, and i heard creaking on the floors. it was freaking me out! i went to go check it out and i saw a pale blue shadow moving through the printer room door. Im brave however, and i boldly moved forward to see what it was, i did NOT trip over a chair trying to leave. \n\ntwo ethereal eyes looked down upon me from where i had decided to sit. they where bigger then normal person eyes, and pale. and she was Asian! and she was a light shade of blue. all of her! i was almost instantly enthralled. \n\n\"who are you!\" \n\n\"I am Andrea, and ive been here for a long time, you can actually see me?\"\n\n\"y...yes\" \n\n\"wow, um. do you want to get up, you dont look comfortable all mangled up over that chair\"\n\n\"i didnt trip!\"\n\n\"uh ok\" \n\nShe told me she was an intern from a few years back. she had an unfortunate incident with a faulty power outlet and had met her demise. for whatever reason, her soul was trapped within the firm and she could not leave or move on. \n\n i said in a concerned tone.\"you died by Electrocution! wait, are there stil faulty power outlets? i could get hurt!\"\n\nAndrea Retorted irritably \" No, they rewired the whole place after i .. died.\" she put her arms around her wispy chest, as if trying to warm herself, despite no longer being able to generate or feel heat.\n\n\"oh ok, that worries me a lot less then, whats your favorite anime?\"\n\nAndrea Furrowed her intangable brow \" Anime? i really dont know much of anything about it\"\n\nI dropped my jaw in shock \" YOU dont knwo what anime is? but your asian!\"\n\nAndrea seemed to take an irritable look on her face \"i am of Chinese anscestry, and my interests lied more in photography and art, thats why i was here\"\n\ni paused for a moment and realized my oportunity!\n\"milday, im going to introduce you to the wonders of Anime!\"\n\nat that moment andrea released what i assume was a ghostly groan, must be common for them. \n\nfor the next few evenings i regaled her with the wonders of slice of life anime and the great humour of harem anime. i ran through several series that she just had to watch with me. by the 4th night i was having an incredibly hard time finding her, she wasnt apparating as much it seemed, and she kept bouncing through walls whenever id come into a room. id always just miss her right at the end. one time she even went into the womens bathroom and got mad at me for following her in, its so silly! she cant use the restroom! and thats why she will always be better then a 3d women. shes just so perfect, i believe im infatuated.\n\ni eventually was able to get her to come float by my desk again. she seemed .. agitated. im very good at being able to tell these things, especialy since she seemed to have taken a redish hue, and her phsyical shape had seemed to alter out of typical human proportions. \n\n\"so good of you to drop by andrea! i have a proposal for you, how would you like to be my personal m'lady?\"\n\n\"no, absolutely not. you dont know how to take a damn hint, you dont ask me how im feeling, you've never consoled me, your selfish, you been nothing but a bother for me for the past few nights. i have been alone for the past 4 years, unable to interact with ANYONE and yet i cannot stand to be here another minute with you, i realized, just the other night, what was holding me back from leaving, i loved my arts, i loved this place, i wanted to work here for my living, i felt like i was never going to be a good graphic artist, but after dealing with YOUR SHIT for the past .. what? almost a week now? i think im good. i think im ready to leave this place, im ready to go home. \" her body was now a much brigter red, and she seemed to be .. coming apart at the seams.\n \ni was speechless! she was hurting my feelings! augh, after i bared my heart to her! how could she. shes just like real 3d women, why did i bother.\n\n\"I...i\" stammered. \n\n\" THATS EXACTLY YOUR PROBLEM. you are self absorbed, a fool and you smell bad! IM DEAD AND I CAN SMELL YOU\" she was falling apart, her ghostly limbs where starting to glow white and disappear upward\n\n\"B..but we could have been so happy together!\" i cried, as she continued to disolve in bright light. \n\n\"Drop Dead\" she yelled as a a bright flash lit the room and she fully crossed over.\n \n\n\n\n\n-first writing prompt, feedback aprecated", "\"Do you think I'll ever meet someone who understand me like you do... you know that I can actually have an intimate relationship with...\"\n\nMargret sighs her cute little sigh and pushes up her cute desk clerk glasses and says, \"Not if you keep living the way you do, unless she's a vampire. I dated a guy once who was a night cook, our schedules did not line up romantically...\" \n\n\"What about Vanessa up in accounting, she works a later schedule than most?\"\n\n\"She would never... I mean, yeah... You should totally change everything about yourself and try to court her, I hear she loves white roses.\" \n\nMargret had said this before, and last time I didn't know how to start, so I figure I should ask for advice, \"What should I change?\"\n\n\"Well... you dress and act like a schlub... back when I died, men of power gave a damn, dressed with style and, actually groomed themselves. You, you stay in a box, get fat and whine about the state of memes and mobas. I don't know what a moba is, but I don't see it putting a ring on anyones finger.\" \n\nMargret was always so honest, god I wish a woman would just tell me what to do like she does. \"So you think if I took care of myself women would like me?\"\n\n\"No, you would still be ugly and whiney, you would need to not \"be a little bitch\" to use your game lingo.\" \n\n\"Margret?\"\n\n\"Yes?\"\n\n\"But what if they don't like me when I try not to be a little bitch?\"\n\n\"sigh\"\n\n\nEDIT: Grammer/spelling... as always..." ]	2
	[WP] Santa's job has gotten easier, as he only has to visit houses where the children believe in him. This is not a good thing.	[ "I waited and waited all night for Santa to show up but he never did. I found some presents my parents had bought me and labeled \"From Santa\" but I knew better. I was there with them at Target when they secretly tried to buy my presents. It was that moment I knew, he was not real. A year had gone by and I decided to just go to sleep on the 24th. I wasn't gonna wait for Santa anymore.\n\n(THUMP)\n\nI awoke after hearing a loud noise coming from the outside of my room. I ran to my window and there he was... The big guy himself. He reached into his bag and pulled out a present...and magically jumped into the chimney. He jumped mid air and suddenly became as thing as a toothpick. After a few seconds he came back out. I opened my window.\n\n\"Hey Santa!\"\n\nHe glanced at me. It looked like he was gonna run but he flew over to my window. Yes. He flew. He came in and said \"Why hello there Timmy.\"\n\nand I let him have it. If he really did exist, why hadn't he visited me all these years? He listened patiently about how I never got that Playstation, or that game boy, or that bicycle I really wanted. He gently put his hand on my shoulder and said.\n\n\"Well, to be fair. When I show up, I see you disobeying your mothers orders about going to bed.\" He suddenly reached into his bag and pulled a book out.\n\n\"I take it that's your naughty list?\"\n\n\"Oh no, I can't carry that heavy thing. This is a list of all the things you've done.\" and then he started reading from the very beginning. After a few moments, he saw the look on my face and he asked,\n\n\"Do you think you deserve any presents?\"\n\n\"Well...No...\"\n\n\"Excellent. Tell you what I'll do. I promise to visit you every year for as long as you live. and if you BEHAVE....I'll bring you a present. Would you like that?\"\n\n\"Yes...Yes I would.\"\n\nI never understood what made me so special until one day. On my 89th birthday he sat next to me on my death bed. In his arms was a present.\n\n\"You know, I never told you why I visited you all these years.\"\n\nI never thought about it. I was always happy to see the guy.\n\n\"For as long as I've ever lived. My job has been to visit those on my nice list and bring them presents...but ONLY...only if they believed in me...That hasn't been the case for several decades now.\"\n\nIt was true. Children knew better now a days...They only cared about getting presents. No matter who it was from. \n\n\"The thing is...You're the only one left.\"\n\nand there was a silence.\n\n\"Open your present.\"\n\nI began opening the present. It was hard. I used whatever remaining energy I had left in me and opened it. Inside was a book.\n\n\"It's not my naughty book is it?\"\n\nSanta chuckled.\n\n\"Read it\"\n\nInside was a list of all the good things I had done in my life...and all the amazing things that came from it... That time I said bless you to that random stranger on the bus, they were gonna jump off a bridge and the fact that I had acknowledged them...made their day that much better. That person became a doctor... That random homeless man I gave a dollar to...He went to McDonalds to buy a meal and ran into an old high school friend...Who offered him a job. I read and read every single thing in that book. The last line on that book was... Give an old tired man a vacation for the remaining years of his life and to pass away beside a good friend.\n\n\"Thank you\"", "I jumped off the sleigh to hit the next house. Being Santa Claus wasn't easy. That's why I had to shorten the amount of houses I go to each year. It took me forever to figure out a fair way to decide what houses would be cut. I was thinking about splitting the world in half, doing one half one year, the other the next year. Ultimately, I decided that the only kids that deserved me coming to their houses were the ones that actually believed in me. So I had my Elves pinpoint every house with kids who believed in me. I began climbing the chimney of that house and slid down. I got to the floor and had one word:\n\n\"Shit\"\n\nThere stood a little boy with a two foot long prison shank ready to slice me up.\n\n\"I've been expecting you, Santa. Do you remember Christmas last year? I asked for a new iPad. I didn't get a new iPad.\"\n\n\"Well, son. Your mother didn't want you spending too much time on the iPad and not homework.\"\n\n\"My mom doesn't know what she's talking about!\"\n\nThat's when I dipped. I scurried up the chimney as fast as possible. When I reached the roof that's when I realized that the only children who have any reason to believe in Santa believe in him because they have a bone to pick with him." ]	2
	[WP] Your grandfather was always a mysterious man. A few years after his death, you move to a far away country. One day, you spot him in the street.	[ "I can't say moving to Portland was ideal. I still feel doubt about whether it was the right move for me. As if anything could be the right move for me. After everything that had happened, I just felt that I needed a change. For me, Portland was that change. A whole new world for me, a born and raided Houstonian. \n\nIt all started when he died. I hadn't even known that man, yet he'd died sure enough. There was my mom, leaning against the kitchen island, her hands gripping the granite edge so tight they matched the red delicious apples. It was her father after all. I guess I shouldn't of been so surprised by her strong reaction. It just felt weird. Here was my mom crying over a man who I knew so little about. He had moved back to Oregon when I was three. He'd gotten in a huge fight with my mom and dad. To this day no one will tell me what about. Though I suspect it was something to do with Dad being the son of a Nazi. The hate stirred in war takes generations to dissipate. \n\nShortly after that mom left. I got up one morning to find she had checked herself into a mental hospital. I'd known that she'd always had depression and was a regular drinker, I just didn't know how bad it was. Nobody really talks about that kind of stuff in my family. We looked great in our Christmas card that year though, taken in DC on our spring break family trip. \nWith mom gone, Dad had an affair with my high school counselor in his grief. Mom found out of course. The yell off never came. She just left again and signed the divorce papers when he brought them. \n\nI graduated high school and now here I was: 19 years old in a new city with no friends and just happy to be out of there. Dad's renting the 1x1 for me. There's a double bed that floats as the lone island in the bedroom. The closet holds the few piles of clothes I could stuff into my suitcase. \n\nI registered for my classes online. Of the three course I was taking, two of them, art history and psych, are online. I'm taking intro to short fiction on Tuesday and Thursday from 9-10:30 am. That gives me plenty of flexibility for working shifts at Winter Bean; the coffee shop two blocks down. \n\nI must of beat the usual college application crowd because they hired me on the spot. They didn't even bother to read my letter of rec. I guess working at the same Starbucks for four years paid off. Or maybe, as my ex always said, they just wanted a cute freckled face serving patrons. \nWork has been going well. School is easy enough. I feel like I'm just repeating everything I learned in high school. The Texas to Oregon credits don't seem to line up quiet right. Winter Bean keeps me steady and busy. I like it. Seems like coffee shops are the same no matter what city they're in. Or at least to a certain extent. I feel right at home here. Work was the only thing I really liked about Houston. At least in those last few years. \n\nThe main difference I've noticed between Winter Bean and my Starbucks is the lack of crazed anxious rushing so common in Houston. I don't see men in business suits holding meetings. In fact, I can't recall having ever seen a business man in a business suit in Winter Bean so far. I mainly work the afternoon and night shifts. I'm beginning to know the regulars. \n\nThere's the group of three girls who come to \"study\" every Tuesday and Thursday from 3-6. A blond, a redhead, and a burnet. Not making jokes is killing me. They seems sweet enough though. They're all in a German class at the same community college, but are at another campus. Maybe I should of taken my classes there. Or signed up for my foreign language this semester. The English students aren't interested in being friends. Not that I've tried super hard or anything. \n\nThere's the others. The weird lumberjack dude who runs some kind of nonprofit startup. He's rarely alone and never quiet. He always orders an expresso and I always want to give him herbal tea instead. There's the two middle age ladies who talk too loud and laugh even louder. The philosopher professor who grades papers and interjects himself into other patron's conversations. My favorite though is Pat. Dear old Patty.\n\nHe comes every Monday through Thursday night. He orders a black coffee and fills his own 12 oz mug that says 'world's greatest grandpa.' I asked him about it once and he laughed and said that he'd bought it for himself. He sits in the same armchair in the corner. The leather is beginning to dry on it. One slow afternoon I'd cleaned it. It had a tag under the cushion that marked it as an old Clarkson Wingback. It's the only one like it in the shop. My manager told me that Pat donated it himself. \n\nI like him because he's actually taken an interest in me. He always asks about my studies. Turns out he's better read and way more interesting than my English prof. He managed to get me interested in the assigned Winter Dream story. We had a good discussion on it and since then he always offers a ready comment on in depth conversation on whatever story I'm reading in class. I've even promised to loan him my textbook once the semester ends. \n\nThere are strange moments with him. I get a weird sense of almost déjà vu sometimes. The strange feeling goes beyond him being a 70-something eccentric with his own mug and chair. \n\nI caught him dropping a 'y'all' once and learned he'd spent sometime living in Houston. When I asked him where though he got all vague. His last name is Kelley. Same spelling and everything as my mothers maiden name. I've begun to think of him as the grandfather I didn't have. But it's weird. \n\nI know it's illogical, but I'm beginning to think he might actually be my grandfather. How many coincidences does it take to turn a suspension into a fact? I know my grandfather is dead. My mom wouldn't even let me read the obit, but I had seen it online. It had been succinct. Just enough to satisfy my mothers southern idea of proper decorum. The picture had been one taken of him sometime shortly after he graduated from college. He looked happy. \n\nThursday night I came in and the Clarkson Wingback was gone. My manager said Pat had come and taken it back. She hadn't been happy about him reclaiming his \"donation\" but making a scene with an old man, who usually wore a sweater vest no less, was not the kind of scene that was good for business. Apparently he was moving. I don't know where or why but he's gone again. I never got to ask him if he is my grandfather.\n\nTwo weeks later a little cube package addressed for me arrived at the shop. No return address. I opened it up to find his world's greatest grandpa mug. \n \n", "You’re standing on a busy street corner, a take-out cup of coffee in your hand. There’s movement all around you but your eyes are laser-focused on a woman, in her mid-forties or so. She’s sitting on a bench in the park, reading a French newspaper. You were told she’d be blonde, petite and wearing dark glasses. This woman fits the bill.\n\n“Excuse me?” You approach her cautiously. “Are you Darlene?\"\n\nThe woman lowers the newspaper.\n\n“Who’s asking?\"\n\nYou clear your throat. “I…I’m Harrison.\"\n\nThe woman slides her glasses onto her nose. She’s clearly appraising you, which makes you even more uneasy.\n\n“Hm,” she says finally. “I thought you’d look more like him. Very well, follow me.\"\n\nShe stands and tucks the paper under her arm. You follow obediently as she heads towards a driveway where a car with dark-tinted windows is parked.\n\n“Get in,” she orders.\n\nYou glance around nervously before sliding into the backseat. The woman must feel bad because her expression softens.\n\n“It’s just a short distance. You don’t need to worry, Albert is an excellent driver.\"\n\nThe chauffeur gives a small wave from the front seat and then you’re off, winding through the streets of the city. Within minutes, you realize you’re headed for a residential neighborhood.\n\n“Is this..is this where he….?” Your mouth is so dry that you have trouble speaking. You watch as rows of idyllic-looking homes come into view. There are children playing ball in the streets and couples walking their dogs, hand-in-hand.\n\n“There.” The woman is pointing towards a house with green shutters. The car rolls to a stop and you see a red wagon sitting by the curb. It looks antique, with patches of rust along its sides.\n\n“He gave one just like that to me,” the woman says flatly, her eyes focused on the toy. “For my eighth birthday. Back when he was known as George Rhodes.\"\n\n“George Rhodes,” you repeat disbelievingly. “He always told us that was his cousin’s name.\"\n\nThe woman turns to you and for the first time you notice her blue eyes. His eyes, and your eyes too. They have the same ring of green around the iris.\n\n“It’s strange. I knew that Dad was mysterious. He was always going places, I thought it was for business,\" she says thoughtfully. \"He’d bring us the most marvelous things, like a scarf from India or the latest gadget from Japan.\"\n\nShe turns back to the window and frowns. \"The last thing he ever brought me was the wagon. I was twelve.”\n\nYou feel a pang of sympathy. \"So I guess he lied to everyone.\"\n\n\"As you know now,\" the woman said bitterly. \"Your grandfather lived multiple lives. He was a husband to your grandmother in America. A father to me in France. A smuggler in Mexico. A thief in Taiwan.\"\n\n\"And now?\" You sink back in your seat, feeling lightheaded.\n\n\"Now,\" the woman says, \"he's reinvented himself again. Who knows how long it will last? This is a man who has faked his death six, maybe seven times. It's sick.\"\n\nHer breath catches and you notice a little girl has emerged from the house. She's preschool age, with chestnut hair and short, chubby legs.\n\nShe’s with someone, an elderly man. “Oh my god,” you breathe as you recognize your grandfather. He’s wearing grey suspenders and a plaid hat, but it’s definitely him. You watch as he leans over and takes the girl’s hand. Together, they begin to walk towards the street. \n\n\"How long has it been since you’ve seen him?\" The woman asks.\n\n\"Six years\" You mumble. \"His funeral was six years ago this month. It still feels like yesterday.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry.\"\n\n\"I can't believe it,\" Your heart is beating so fast that you can feel it in your fingertips. \"I need to talk to him..\" Without thinking, your hands find the door handle and pull.\n\n\"There's no point,\" the woman snaps. \"He wants nothing to do with us.\" She crosses her arms and faces forward. \"And frankly, I want nothing to do with him.\"\n\nYou stare at her, half hanging out of the car. You've never felt more confused in your life but the need for answers is overwhelming.\n\n\"I have to try. Thank you for everything,\" you stammer.\n\nThe woman's face is pale and her lips move without making sound. In one smooth movement, you exit the car and close the door firmly behind you. Within seconds, the engine revs and the car is gone.\n\nBy now, your grandfather has reached the street corner. You march towards him, trying to keep your breathing as even as possible. The little girl shrieks with delight as she climbs into the wagon.Your grandfather looks up and that's when he sees you. You were expecting him to look startled, but he merely inclines his head in recognition.\n\n\"Harrison,\" he says, and his eyes crinkle the way you remember. \"I've been expecting you.\"", "As I drove through Rachel, Nevada for the first time on the bus towards work at Area 51, I couldn't help but think of my mom, who shared the same name. My parents being back home in Sweden, sad about me leaving university early because I got a job working in Aviation Defense Systems for Foreign Threats with the CIA. Having one more bus stop left on the towns edge to pick up a co-worker, I decided I would hop off quick and grab a coffee from the gas station. The bus came to a stop and as I stepped off, nobody was there. I shook it off to being nothing more than them running a little late. \n\nThe machine splurges out coffee to the top of the cup, I capped it and turned towards the counter. As I'm walking to the front I can't help but feel like I'm being watched. Turning slightly at the counter, I see a man in a long duster and hat slowly moving towards me. I quickly pay and leave the store making a swift walk towards the bus, but it is no where in sight. I turn around to see this man, who up close I see is really my grandfather. The same one whos funeral I attended 8 years ago today. \n\nArms outreached, in a low voice he says, \"Please, you need to get out of here.\"", "My wife and I argued as we sat outside at a bistro over the cobbled European street. The man across the busy street, populated by endless economy cars and vendors enticing tourists with miniature replicas of famous monuments wrapped around key chains, embrace the visage of my late grandfather. With a gleaming bald head, he nonchalantly sat with sunglasses, as he normally did on casual summer afternoons, and a newspaper under his grip, he occasionally pivoted his head around the scene, as if looking for something. Wearing his typical attire, a green sweater vest over a white, button down shirt, he appeared as dorky as always.\n\n“It’s either him or he has a twin brother,” I presented my case as I tried to find a picture on my phone.\n\n“Didn’t you say he passed in 2008?” my wife calmly corrected me. “I remember going to the funeral with you and meeting the rest of your extended family.”\n\n“Yeah, but grandpa was…complicated,” I admitted. “My dad has this story that back in the late 80s, when my dad was still a teenager, my grandpa made an offhand remark about the end of the Cold War and the Berlin Wall falling. My dad said he seemed, I don’t know, embarrassed he made the remark. Then the rest of my family teased him, but about two months later, the Wall came down. We all jokingly called him a spy after that.”\n\n“A spy?” my wife rebuked. \n\n“I mean he had a military background,” I replied. “It’s not that farfetched.”\n\n“Right,” my wife answered, obviously done with the topic. \n\n“I’m going to talk to him,” I announced. My wife rolled her eyes, perhaps realizing she knew she couldn’t change my mind or, more realistically, she wanted to see me embarrass myself. I made the pilgrimage across the street, narrowly avoiding certain collision with a madman atop a scooter. Since the patio area where he sat was surrounded by a small metal fence without a gate, I needed to enter the restaurant to meet him. After reassuring the hostess that I was meeting someone and passing a few busy servers with scowls across their faces, I entered the patio area.\n\nAt my grandpa’s stable sat a folded newspaper while his chair stood empty. I cast a glance across the street to my wife, who, when she caught my eyes, gave me a shrug. I approached his table to find a small notecard on top of the newspaper. In the distinctive handwriting I had seen on the back of old family photos, it read, “Jason, we need to talk.”\n\n*****\n\nMore secrecy and lies at r/Andrew__Wells" ]	4
	[WP] You're the conductor of the train of thought. You're also in charge of making the train run smoothly.	[ "As soon as the driver calls me into the front I know something's wrong. Her face tells me everything I need to know.\n\n\"Please tell me we're not diverting into World of Warcraft again, Driver,\" I say. \"These thesis chapters have suffered enough and I'm getting pressure from up top to keep on schedule.\"\n\n\"No, ma'am. I've just been on the phone with the Self Discipline department and they are adamant that station's been sealed off.\"\n\n\"Then why the track change?\" I turn my gaze to the window, and it's at that point we both see it. Looming ahead of us, in all its devastating fuzziness, is a giant cat strapped into a baby carrier, playing calmly with a soft rattle suspended above it as if it didn't spell death for this train and all who rode on her.\n\nThe driver goes white. Without speaking, I take her hand. " ]	1
	[WP] You are a literal 'Jack of all trades' but also a master of none, and perform remarkably average in every task you try, how do you use this to your advantage?	[ "How does this happen to a person? That an aphorism comes to define their entire being? \n\nGood question. Great question. No clue. It's the world we live in, I suppose. That's probably exactly what an average person would say, anyway.\n\nHi. I'm Jack. As in, \"of All Trades\".\n\nThis is my story.\n\nOne of the things that surprises people about me is that I exist at all. The second thing that surprises them is that I'm unbelievably rich. The third thing... well. That's a little personal. We'll talk about that later, maybe.\n\nLet's talk about the second thing. Thanks to whatever strange stars I was born under, I always perform about as well as an average member of a given group. The killer part of this is: not all groups are created equal. I'm an average bricklayer. I'm also an average biochemical engineer. An average special-forces countersniper. An average astrophysicist. All at once.\n\nSecondly, I'm for hire. And I am literally the only one who can do what I do. As you can imagine, I get offered some unusual jobs. Unusual, and lucrative jobs. \n\nI've got another name when I work, that you might have heard of. \n\nThey call me Handyman Jack. I'm on a job right now.\n\nHmm? Oh, right. The third surprising thing about me. \n\nWell... I've just been shot. \n\n\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] Upon your deathbed you see an Angel descending. However they are not excited but rather bored and fidgeting at their fingernails. Write a story about how Heaven really is.	[ "\"One more round,\" I said. My son Stephen, now 48 years old, gave me a cold stare. \"I promise,\" I said, \"this will be the last one.\"\n\nDying didn't have to be boring. Once you get cancer, people seem to think you've morphed into some generic soap opera character. They want you to open up. To cry. To inspire them to live life to the fullest by telling sad tales of regret. Well, I'm not planning to rock their cancer boners. I'm going to have fun, and die.\n\nI really wanted to get the highest score for this game. After all, I'd designed it. I'm what some might call a 'titan of the industry'. I've studied human behavior for so long that I can get anyone hooked. People always ask me about my secret. I've never revealed it. Not because it's so revolutionary. Because it's so simple. All you need is a goal, and an obstacle. The frustration caused by the obstacle functions as a reward booster. But everything has a balance--frustration makes you feel extra bad for not getting the reward in the end. It's simple psychology. Animals have to be either discouraged or encouraged in the quest to fulfill their needs. If there's a bonus, there's got to be a reverse bonus. Things must add up.\n\nI won, but I was still second overall. This 'Lux0rFlux0r' guy seemed to have made his life all about this game. Well, it was a good fight. Now it was time to die.\n\n\"Daniel, I--\"\n\n\"Nope,\" I said. \"I'm done. I don't owe anyone anything. I know what you want from me, but as I'm the one dying I think I get to call the final shots. If you want closure, I suggest grief counselling. Nurse?\"\n\nThe world turned into a fuzzy haze. Everything seem to fade out of perspective. Except this strange character in khakis and a green shirt. He stood in the corner, changing the position of his hands every few seconds. As he met my gaze, he let out a deep breath and walked over.\n\n\"I may not be a cultured man,\" I said, \"but I do believe it's poor etiquette to crash a guy's death.\"\n\n\"Well,\" he said. \"I'm an angel. So I'm not really 'crashing', per se.\"\n\n\"Angels wear khakis?\" I said.\n\n\"Eh,\" he said.\n\n\"Shit,\" I said. \"I thought this was just some bullshit generic death drug. Hallucinogens. That's how Huxley went, isn't it?\"\n\n\"Well, he--\"\n\n\"Of course you don't know. You're a part of my subconscious mind. If I don't know, you don't either.\"\n\n\"He had his wife inject him with LSD on his deathbed in November 1963, if I remember correctly.\"\n\nI narrowed my eyes as I looked at him. \"I know stuff like that? Shit, I'm smart.\"\n\n\"No,\" he said. \"You're less than a standard deviation above average. Can we just get on with this?\"\n\nHe snapped his fingers. Nothing happened.\n\n\"Ugh,\" he said. \"I never get the timing just right.\"\n\nA flash of light filled the room. Then we were in a cottage, sitting in front of a fireplace with cups of hot chocolate in our hands. A whole bunch of other people were there. Staring into the air. One guy looked at me and gave a slight nod.\n\n\"Sup,\" he said.\n\n\"Uh, sup,\" I said.\n\nHe then went on staring into the air.\n\n\"Alright, I think I can do better than this.\" I focused as hard as I could. \"Dragons, dragons, dragons ...\" I whispered to myself.\n\nNothing.\n\nAnother guy noticed my presence. \"Sup?\" he said, but turned away before hearing my response.\n\n\"What the hell is going on?\" I said.\n\n\"Not hell,\" said Mr. Khaki pants, \"Heaven.\"\n\n\"Come on,\" I said. \"There's no heaven.\"\n\n\"There is. This is it.\"\n\n\"I'm hallucinating.\"\n\n\"You're not.\"\n\n\"You're a figment of my imagination.\"\n\n\"Eh, what's the bother,\" he said and sipped on his hot chocolate. \"You'll come around.\"\n\nFor two weeks I explored everything I could. Nothing even remotely interesting happened. The 'angels' (of which I was now one) didn't care much for talking. There was several cottags spread around a village of sorts. Everyone acted the same. All fundamental needs were taken care of. No hunger, thirst, or any of that. We just existed.\n\nEventually I realized what I had to do. It was right there in front of my nose. I couldn't believe I'd been so blind. All my life had built up to this challenge. I was going to make the most boring place ever fun.\n\nAnd I had come up with the perfect game.\n\n--tbc---" ]	1
	[WP] Every time someone says they want to die, an annoyed Grim Reaper shows up. "Another one. That's the 38571st this week. Well? Any last words?"	[ "Mia banged her bedroom door as she got inside, throwing her backpack to the wall. The scene of that afternoon replayed itself on her head. Mark, her boyfried Mark, kissing Samantha, her best friend, his hands on either side of her head, the smile curling her lips, the besotted look in her eyes. Mia kicked the door in anger.\n\n\"Why, why did they do this?\" She shouted, tears wetting her face. She sat down on her bed, her face on her hands. She sobbed, broken hearted. The day couldn't get any worse!\n\nHer phone rang with a text message. It was from Mark. \"We're through. I'd never djate you if I knew you didn't give any.\" The words stabbed her in the heart. It was with difficulty Mia didn't throw her phone from the window. Downstars, the front door opened.\n\n\"Mia, I'm home. Come down, we need to talk.\" Her mother called. Mia wazhed her face in her en suit bathroom first, making sure her makeup wasn't messed up. She took off her shoes and went down to the living room, hoping her mother wouldn't notice her red eyes.\n\n\"Hi mom. What is it?\" She asked, sitting down in the couch.\n\n\"Good afternoon. Mia, I have something to tell you.\" It was at that moment she noticed her mother was pale, her black hair contrasting sharply with her pixy face, her grey eyes red rimmed. Her heart slammed in her throat.\n\n\"What is it mom?\" She asked with a waver in her voice.\n\n\"Your dad decided to leave. We are getting divorced. Since we can't afford this house with only my salary, we will have to move.\" She said.\n\n\"What? But we've lived here since before I was born.\" Mia said in shock, her mind refusing to believe what her mother was telling her.\n\n\"I know, baby. It's been 18 great years in this house, but I can't afford to keep us here. And until your eighteenth birthday in six months I don't want you to get any kind of job either. Even if it's a part time one.\" Her mother bit her lip, keeping her emotions in check.\n\n\"So what are we going to do?\" Mia asked.\n\n\"I've already found us a two bedroom flat on the other side of town. I'm sorry, you'll have to change schools.\" She said. Unable to process anything further, Mia got up and left the room, her feet on the soft carpeted floor. She wanted to scream, shout, die. When she got to her room, she locked the door behind her, and threw herself in her bed, freeing her tears.\n\n\"God, I want to die.\" She whispered, emotionally exhausted.\n\nSuddenly, a male voice reached her ears. \"Another??? This is the 38571st this week!\" Mia looked at the stranger in fright, her grey eyes wide with fear and disbelief.\n\n\"Well? Any last words?\" The stranger prompted. He was around twenty five years old, his brown eyes annoyed, his eyebrows together in a frown.\n\n\"Who... who are you?\" Mia stuttered. Where had he come from?!\n\n\"Who do you think? I'm the reaper. You wanted Death, here I am, so hurry up? I was busy, I have a life, you know. Anyway, you can call me Thanatos.\" He said, annoyed.\n\n\"I didn't think you'd show up.\" She whispered. Oh God, what have I done now.... she thought.\n\n\"As usual. Man, you humans are all fucked up. You want to die, you want to die, then I show up, and suddenly everything's fine in your world. What happened, your nail broke, your cat run away, and your phone died?\" He said, waving his hand around. His words hit Mia, and she started crying again.\n\n\"Ow hey now, stop that. I don't like to see women cry.\" He said hastily with wide eyes, giving a step back, palms up as if pushing her away. Her tears chased away his annoyance.\n\n\"My parents are divorcing, my boyfriend cheated on me, with my best friend... all because I don't want to do IT with him.\" Mia cried. Thanatos sat next to her on the bed, keeping his black robes carefully folded around him.\n\n\"Bad things are a part of life, such as I am. Why do you want to give up your potential because of the actions of other people?\" He asked gently.\n\n\"This is the worst day of my life.\" Mia sobbed, her red hair falling forward, hiding her face. He raised his hand and gently pulled the strands away, accidentally touching her cheek. She shivered. His hand was cold as death, then she laughed inwardly, what else could she expect from death itself. Thanatos looked at her steadily, and she wiped away the tears from her face.\n\n\"Are you still going to take me?\" She asked. She wasn't scared exactly. Thanatos seemed gentle now, not scary at all.\n\n\"I will not. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt because I see how upset you are. Auras don't lie my dear, and being thousands of ears old, I've gotten to know how to read auras very well. But if you call me again without thinking it through, I will be upset.\" He said, admonishing her and pointing a finger at her. She felt a sudden well of sadness.\n\n\"Wait.\" She said when he got up. He turned to look at her, his eyebrows rising in questioning. \"What if I simply want to talk to you?\" She asked. Thanatos smiled.\n\n\"Just call my name and I will come see you when I have the time.\" He said, wishing good luck to the girl in front of him. He vanished in a puff of black smoke, and Mia smiled. Thanatos was right. Things were bad, but there was still the promise, the potential for something more. Something better. Without thinking, she spoke aloud.\n\n\"Thanatos, thank you.\" On the other side of the world, collecting a soul in the hospital, Thanatos heard and smiled. He'd visit her again soon. She made him remember what it was like to be human and young again. Who knows, when her time came, he might even make her his assistant." ]	1
	[WP] Write a story which tracks a conversation in reverse. The beginning is two people having an emotional discussion and the ending is "where are you from?" "what's your name?"	[ "\"He's learned to see you for how truly beautiful you are.\"\n\"What are you saying?\"\n\"Maybe you weren't his first choice, but you're his best. I think beauty is something we learn. It's learning to appreciate someone's 'flaws' to the point where you love every aspect of them. Beauty isn't about symmetry, it's about the little details that make us all different.\"\n\"But why me, why now? He picked her before me and I can't stop thinking about how I wasn't his first choice.\"\n\"He doesn't feel a thing for her anymore. Don't you see how much he cares about you?\"\n\"I'm afraid he still has feelings for her, somewhere deep down.\"\nHesitation. \n\"What's the real reason you don't want to see him?\"\nA long pause, in which both girls share a tense energy. \n\"It's fine. I don't care.\"\n\"That's annoying, I'd feel the same way.\"\n\"He was talking to Zelda in class. It just bugged me seeing them together again, I don't know.\"\n\"Why are you mad at him?\"\n\"I don't want to talk to him right now.\"\n\"Is everything okay? With Jason?\"\n\"I'm glad you had a good day.\"\n\"I was lazy for most of it, it was wonderful.\"\n\"It was okay, I'm not great right now but hey, that's life I guess. Just Jason again. How was your day?\"\n\"I'm good! How are you? How was your day?\"\n\"Hey Ren, it's been such a long time! How are you?\"\n\"Grace! How have you been?\"" ]	1
edit: omniscient :((	[WP] In the 2200s, it's discovered that people above the age of 150 reach a stage of near omnisentience. You, having kept healthy all your life, are the first person to reach this age without severe physical complications.	[ "You ever watched a car crash happen, it all seems to rush forward at once while at the same time your brain slows down trying to process it all. Almost like some crazy transition from an old dead universe to the next. It kind of feels like that when you get omniscience.\n\nA couple of egg heads figure out that a well traveled person who reached their 15th decade were able to predict almost anything, sport out comes, elections, even the motives behind some criminals. Issue with this was the more well traveled you were the more likely Ol' man Reaper is going to come knock on your door. Only a few have ever reached 150, and only one hit 200. Me.\n\nI figured out from decades of research and trial, how to progress my life safely with the Reaper in a completely different neighborhood from me. Of course this left the question of what should I do with this new found intelligence? Why gamble of course. It never really became gambling more just figuring out the winning bracket in march madness then betting everything you have left on it.\n\nWith all the attention and money it didn't take long for someone to guess how old I really was. Hundreds of people flooded me, asking for the true answers to the universe. Is there life on other planets. Is there other Universes? Is there a God/gods? Yes, maybe, and who knows. They seem to forget that I'm still human and while I can say that by 2346 the 3rd war with Mars will start, I am still limited to the experiences I had.\n\nI decided to open a small little shop in Topeka, A fortune telling shop to specific. Thousands will come and ask me everything they want to know. A large heavy set fellow walked in and next to me. He smiled showing his yellow stained teeth and hairy tongue and spoke, \"Greetings ol' timer, mind if ya tell me a few answers I been wondering.\" I looked him up and down the low amber light in the shop and heavy smelling incense drifting throughout the room.\n\n \" Your wife is cheating on you, yes your daughter is gay, and I would say around 58 or 60.\" I stated while looking into his dull brown eyes. He blinked at me unsure of what to do with the info I gave. \n\n\"How did you know I was going to ask those questions?\" he asked his thoughts coming to him slowly.\n\n\"Simple,\" I answered, \"You been smoking for roughly 18 years, your yellow teeth, not to mention the amount of weight you carry around you both physically and metaphorically repulses your wife and so she wants to go back to someone who she fell in love with. Your daughter has been rebelling against you and you been hiding something from you yet you can't figure it out so who had to come and ask me.\" You see telling someone their fortune sounds must better before when you had your gypsies or frauds tell you what you wanted to hear with some bad. No one really came to me unless they had real problems. What they forget is I tell them the future not how to stop me from being wrong." ]	1
	[WP] You awake to see a worm hole appear outside your window.	[ "The first time you see a wormhole, you don't really know that it's a wormhole.\n\nYou wipe your eyes. You do a double-take. You assume you're having a seizure.\n\nLight isn't supposed to bend that way. The world isn't supposed to cave in like that.\n\nThe first wormhole I ever saw appeared just outside my dorm room window. By appeared, I mean that I literally woke up one morning, opened my curtains, and there it was just hovering in the air about five feet away. My dorm room, mind you, was located nine stories up in the air, and my roommate and most of my floor was out of town for the weekend, so it's not like I had anyone around to verify what I was seeing.\n\nSo I did what any reasonable college student would do; I took a photo and shared it to Facebook with the caption \"WTF is anyone else seeing this shit?\"\n\nThen I sat around staring at it while waiting for replies. I had a basic knowledge of science-fiction, so after a bit of examination I figured it had to either be some sort of invisible alien spherical object or a wormhole. The only way to tell one way or the other, I decided, was to throw something at it.\n\nNow, the windows in a ninth-floor dorm room are specifically designed to not be opened because typically you don't want some college kid throwing themselves or something else out of them. You can slide the window open to let the air in, but if you really want to get out there you've still got to break through the screen window or figure out how to remove it, both of which are a bit harder to do than you'd expect.\n\nLacking any sort of cutting device that wasn't made of plastic and lacking the ingenuity to find any way to simply remove the screen without a set of tools, I resorted to banging on it with my roommate's 8-lb dumbbell a few times. With most of the screen out of the way, I grabbed an empty beer bottle and chucked it at the thing outside my window, expecting it to shatter into a hundred pieces and fall to the ground and for the thing to suddenly reveal itself to be an alien probe sent to destroy humanity starting with me.\n\nInstead, the bottle just kind of fell into the thing as if I were dropping it down a hole rather than out into midair.\n\nThe first time you see something fall horizontally, you'll think you're dreaming. That's normal. Just breathe.\n\nSo I was dealing with a wormhole. Now I knew that much.\n\nIt was hard to gauge the size of it, what with all the light bending around it and the fact that this was clearly not my area of expertise, but I had the feeling that it was big enough for a person to fit through.\n\nSo I did what any sane human being would do; I grabbed another bottle, hit record on my phone, and posted a video of the second bottle disappearing into the wormhole to Twitter with the caption \"Check this out @NASA @elonmusk @neiltyson #WTF #Science #Wormhole #JustCollegeThings\"\n\nThen I grabbed my backpack, emptied everything out of it, and started to fill it back up with everything I could think of that I might need, which included my cell phone charger, a lighter, a change of clothes, and as much soda and food as I could fit.\n\nYes, I was perfectly aware of how underprepared I actually was for a literal leap into the unknown. Best case scenario I'd come out the other side on solid ground in Paris with the ability to jump back through right into my dorm room. Worst case scenario I'd come out 100 feet over a pit of spikes, or in outer space without oxygen, or be immediately crushed by the weight of the universe turning in on itself. I didn't know what might happen and I knew that. The thing is that this wormhole showed up at a very specific time in my life when I felt like death was inevitable, nobody would ever love me, and years of passivity had led me to a life I hated, so I was pretty sure I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.\n\nI slung the backpack over my shoulders and climbed out onto the ledge of my window.\n\nNine stories is really high up, by the way. Like, so high that you feel dizzy if you look down and maybe that the slightest breeze is going to push you out the wrong direction and you'll just end up known as that kid who killed themselves wearing a backpack full of ramen noodles.\n\nSo I did what any sensible young adult would do; I opened up my YouTube app and started sharing a live video of myself on the ledge explaining that I was not in fact about to kill myself but that I was actually going to jump into this wormhole that appeared this morning outside my ninth-story dorm room window, then reminded people to check out my Twitter feed for the video of the bottle falling through.\n\nI put the phone back in my pocket but let it keep recording. You know, for science.\n\nI took three deep breaths.\n\nI jumped.\n\nI fell.\n\nI came out the other side.\n\nIt was the first and best decision I ever really made.\n\n---\nThanks for reading! Let me know what you think, and head on over to r/Yackemflaber for more!", "It was a bit cold this morning. My damn cat pushed my door open and let all the heat escape. My toasty little oven room was now a refrigerator box. I yawned and stretched out before getting up. \n\nThe morning felt typical. Go to the kitchen. Feed the cat. Start my coffee maker. Then I went back to my room and opened the blinds. A focal point of distorted landscape rested right outside the window. \n\nIt had finally happened. I had gone crazy. Now, I just needed to adopt a few more cats. \n\nI flicked the blinds open and close a few more times. Nope, still there. So I threw on my winter coat and walked into my backyard. Wherever I looked into it, the behind it was distorted. My human instinct took over and I found the nearest stick to poke it with. I moved the stick into the center and the tip began to disappear. Weird!\n\nI dropped the stick and found a rock instead. Angling myself to not hit my house, I threw the rock into the hole. It disappeared! Chills started to run through my body. I had found a gateway to somewhere. This would be famous. It would make me famous!\n\nWhile daydreaming about the people I'd get to meet and history I would make, I failed to see the solid object flying towards my face. The rock I had throw returned and hit me right on the nose. I cried in pain and yelled at the thing. \n\n\"Hey! That hurt! You got some nerve throwing rocks through a hole!\"\n\nI realized the irony immediately and a minute later a note slipped through. \n\n\"My apologies for throwing a rock through a wormhole. I should have remembered Rule #1. Don't throw objects through a wormhole where you don't know what's on the other end. Let that be a lesson to you.\" The note had an arrow pointing towards the edge of the page. I flipped it over.\n\n\"Send money; receive pizza.\"\n\nI ran back inside and grab a 5, then returned and threw it in. A box popped out a few minutes later and I opened it to find the most amazing looking deluxe style pizza of my life. It was beyond delicious! I had never tasted anything so great! And that gave me an idea...\n\nWormhole Pizza. The business that would end my monotonous nothing of a career and catapult me into a world of excitement. I ran back inside and began planning. " ]	2
	[WP] You wake up in the Middle Ages with all your current knowledge. Problem is: You are a child now, and your parents are having none of your futuristic nonsense.	[ "The last thing I remember is falling asleep on my memory foam mattress with my dog snuggling up close to me for extra heat, simultaneously as my mind drifts away into it's dream state I violently get awoken. \"FIRE, GRAB THE BUCKETS FIRE!\" I open my eyes and attempt to jump out of bed but there's no mattress just hay and a very thin blanket, the room is dark only being lit by the bright glows of red between the cracks of wood in the walls. I attempt to get up, thinking I'm in a dream I look at my arms and they are shorter than they should be and as I begin to analyze my body everything seems smaller and skinnier but also dirtier than after a shift at jiffylube.\n\n I get up and begin to walk out the small room into the living room or whatever it is as the fire outside lights up the room to a dark red glow, I see a flat table, old looking bowls, I can see the dust flowing around the room, planks acting as a roof. I walk out and see men, women, children and a town set ablaze. I pinch myself and nothing happens, I still think I'm dreaming. I walk over to the fire, all the townspeople unaware of me as they're so focused on putting out the fire. I feel the warmth the closer I get, \"No this cannot be\" I say, I put my hand as close as I can before I feel the harsh burn on my hand. Completely in shock I look at my hand as the burn reveals itself followed by the harsh sting. I look up to the sky and it's clearer than anything I've ever seen before, stars for as far as the eyes can see. Then I hear my name \"WILL WHERE ARE YOU!\" snapped out of my thoughts I see a woman looking at me as if I was the most precious thing in her life, she grabs my hand and takes me back alongside the wooden hut she called her home \"stay here if the flames spread run to Jack's\". \"Who the fuck is jack\" I reply and in return I receive a harsh slap \"Don't you ever curse at your mother\" and then the woman runs off to help put out the fire. \n\nI begin to observe my surroundings and all I can see is wooden huts, farm animals, and pheasants. Something however catches my eye the glimmer of a sword reflecting the glow of the fire hidden under some hay. I move closer to the sword, I feel as it's drawing me closer and closer. I reach for the grip of the hilt with my unburned hand and it feels completely natural as my hand grasps the hilt. It's heavier then I thought I use two hands to lift it up, ignoring the pain in my burnt hand. Amazed by the beauty and craftsmanship I naturally take a swing but it feels right, more right than anything I've ever felt before. Then it all dawns on me, maybe just maybe this was meant to happen. I'm here to change all these peoples lives, I think back to my history classes and how they depicted the cruel times of the Middle Ages, \"Maybe I can change all that\" I said outloud. I continue to stare at the blade and in that moment for the first time I feel as if I'm in the right place. I grip the handle with all the strength in my single hand and raise it as If I was about to charge into battle. I begin to accept this life. \n\n\"Will the swordsman\" I yell. \n\nMy whole past life, my parents, my girlfriend, my friends, all the work I put in to get a college degree, all the countless hours spent working to afford nice things disappears, I miss none of it. \nThis is my life now. I quickly run and hide the sword behind the woman's wooden hut and grab a bucket and begin to help put out the fire of my new home. \n\nedit: I did put my own spin on it, but I hope you guys still like it. ", "I'm reading a science fiction novel on the G train heading home to my apartment in Brooklyn, stopping at the bodega to grab some twinkies-- because I need the sugar—and then falling asleep thinking about how soon robots could make more of an impact in my life. There are those prototypes I see on the internet, that are kicked, abused, made fun of, but that doesn't seem to be what science fiction writers had in mind. I wake up thinking about this, about how soon we will get to displace are baser concerns onto unfeeling automatons, and then notice that my back is sinking into my bed. I try to stand and I sink into what feels like straw, itchy and unsubstantial. My room is now dimly lit by a wavering candle, made of some cheap wood, and inhabited by a dirty couple. The woman sees me and yells, \"Go back to sleep Silas, one more hour til morn.\" \n\n It takes me 2 hours to discover that I have been temporally displaced into (maybe?) the middle ages. The dirty couple are my parents, and I'm a 9 year old child. I've kept my memory but I'm not sure how helpful it is. In addition to being temporally displaced, I've also somehow traveled to Europe from America. I'd like to say that I have some keen insight into my new life, some piece of historical knowledge that will allow me to make a fortune and advance life, but I don't. \n\nI can speak Spanish, because I was raised by Mexican parents. (Luckily my skin is either a shade lighter, or the dirt makes it hard to tell exactly what people's shades are.) I went to college, but studied sociology and can really only navigate the bureaucratic world of the new millenium. Is there paperwork somewhere nearby that I can fill out to register a complaint or access services that I need to not die? Paper is scarce? Okay great. \n\nAt breakfast, an oatmeal gruel, I speak with my parents. \"Do uh you guys know anything about what happened to me?\" \n\n\"Hit your head yesterday Silas. Lucky you aren't simple.\" \n\n\"I mean the time thing.\" \n\n\"Weren't no time thing. You hit your head, you were out for a day, and now here you are ready to get back to work.\" \n\nMy mother winked. Was that a wink? \n\n\"Can you tell me about how I ended up here?\" I pleaded \"I wasn't a child yesterday. Hablas espanol? The internet. Do I need a code word to access this simulation?\" \n\nHer palm left an impression against my cheek from the slap. I reeled and fell off the floor. \n\n\"Silas,\" she said, \"you are speaking gibberish. You'll get yourself together and then go with your dad to work. None of this talk to people in the village.\"" ]	2
	[WP] What if when the villain captured the hero and made the cliché line "why don't you come work for me", the hero accepted.	[ "\"Why don't you work for me, captain hero?\" A look of pity in his eyes. \n\nA good question. I have been trapped into this universe for the last twenty five years protecting and serving the city of Norespectimen. I have fought creatures beyond anyones wildest dreams. I have suffered under the hands of monsters a thousand times stronger than me and yet I have always prevailed. I have taken pain upon me, pain that would have left the average mortal long dead before he could even think to turn around. I have always been kind to the weak and justful to the strong among the town folk. \n\n\nWhat is my thanks for all of that?! \nI get to live in a goverment prison becouse of one single human flaw, fear. They know that I can eradicate them at any moment and at any given time so they lock me down, treating me no better than the ills that befall them so often. I never complained and was always complacent with their request, as my empathy towards the weak knew no bounds. I wanted to protect and I wanted to serve and I only asked of one thing, respect. \n\nThirteen days ago, at the yearly convention of our town, where the citizens could admire the most beneficial and the most prosperous of our beautiful city, I was left uninvited. \n\nWhy? \nBecouse, at the hands of those whom I have served, a few of them got up and complained that having me be a part of it is cheating becouse of my innate talent. It would strive away from equality and might upset some of the less fortunate ones. They ended their speech with and I will never forget that: He never utters a word, he thinks he is better than us anyways even though we let a savage like him live here. \n\nSavage? \nFrom there on my entire universe shifted. First and foremost, what is up with this town? It is evident even to the most shut of eyes that it is cursed to be attacked till the end of times. One enemy down, ten new appear. \nLaw enforcement had been abolished for \"Now we have him\" and all the weight was put on my shoulders. \nThe pain and the sorrow in my heart cannot be explained to a mere mortal, not one single citizen stood up against the idea of not having me there. A disgrace. They are all disgusting, these humans. \n\nLets see how they react when their dreams turn into nightmares: \"When can I start?\"\n\n\n\n", "\"...and that is why you should come fight with us Mr. Pond.\"\n\n\"You know what? Fuck this, I'm in. I'm sick and tired of all this bureaucracy, red tape, briefings, blah blah blah. The world is already beyond fucked, I can't see your side doing anything to make the situation worse. Where do I start Platinum Fingers?\"\n\n\"Well... we actually do have a fairly strict new hire program. Although we can fast track you, we do have to put you through henchmen orientation, then there is a 90 day probationary period that is, unfortunately, non-negotiable, but after that we should be able to have you skip boot camp.\"\n\n\"Wait, wait, wait. Orientation? Probation? BOOT CAMP? I'm the west's best agent. I've single-handedly taken down at least 3 major operations, and destroyed countless minor players. I know how to kill a man with playing cards, in 12 DIFFERENT WAYS for Christ's sake. And you want me to go through BOOT CAMP? Nah, I'm out, I'll become a baker, or a SCUBA instructor somewhere warm.\"\n\n\"Mr. Pond, it is policy to run through the new hire process no matter who the new hire is. We need to evaluate skills, get you acclimated to the new environment, make sure you...\"\n\n\"I'M THE BEST AGENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. EVER. And you want me to sit in a classroom with some 22 year old fresh college grad and watch training videos, take sexual harassment training, PPE tests? Fuck that noise, and fuck your organization. \"\n\n\"Mr. Pond, I assure you, once the new hire process is completed you will be placed in a role that suits your particular talents. We see that you are an accomplished agent, and no one here is doubting your skills, it's just policy. Comes from the top. Listen, I know it sounds like a drag but we do have some really great perks. 50% matching 401k that vests after 5 years. Only need to work 3 weekends a year. A killer Christmas party. Casual Fridays. Catered lunches.\"\n\n\"Casual Fridays? Like, how casual? Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and flip flops casual?\"\n\n\"Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and flip flops casual Mr. Pond.\"\n\n\"........alright, fine. That Christmas party better be good. I'm in.\"" ]	2
	[WP] For a few billion, you can buy the ability to stop time, the entire world falls asleep and you can do anything.	[ "\"Sir?.... SIR??.. Master Aiden, Sir?\"\n\n\"Jesus Franklin? What in the hell do you want?! Haven't I told you not to wake me before noon if I'm on the Yacht?\"\n\n\"....Ehrrm uh, yes master Aiden sir.. but I'm afraid its your wife...she's well.. she's having.. a day.. and well as you know.. I just simply. don't kno..\"\n\nAiden lets out a long drawn out sigh as he wipes the crushed pretzels of his perfectly waxed and moderately sculpted chest. \n\n\"You dont need to say it, Im sorry I yelled at you Franklin, last night was just a real..\" A sort of contorted grin slowly spreads across his face. \"... ~interesting~ night, lets leave it at that. Anyways thak you for waking me, we both know that I'm the only one shell listen to when she has one of her episodes.\"\n\nAiden slowly stands up and stretches, then bends over to grab his shirt which was lying on the ground next to several empty champagne bottles, two broken crystal wine glasses and Aidens good friend James lying in the fetal postion clutching an empty bottle of Johnny Walker which he most likely killed entirely by himself. Aiden navigates his way through the minefield left from last nights festivities and makes his way off the yacht and into the house. He looks behind him and holds his hand out in a gesture towards Franklin. Franklin frantically digs around in his pockets and pulls out what looks to be just a piece of glass. This piece of glass is actually Aidens replacement phone. Franklin always knows to prepare a replacement phone for Aiden after a night on the yacht, his phone invariably finds a way to be broken, lost, or sold during one of Master Aiden's parties. Aiden picks up the phone and dials his wife, Elizabeth.\n\n\"Liz whe-...No Liz! liste.. LIZ! LISTEN TO ME!\" He screams rubbing his temples with a grimace\n\"Sorry hun, im just tired, where are you?\"\n\"Alright ill be there in a few just try your best to keep calm and breath\"\n\nAiden hangs up and turns to Franklin,\n\n\"Better bring the whole set this time Frank, its not gonna be pretty\"\n\nAfter about a quarter mile walk with two separate flights of stairs Aiden arrives in the west corridor's sitting area where Elizabeth is clutching her head in a death grip while shaking back and forth. Aiden grabs the bag from Franklin and tells him that he'll take it from here.\n\n\"Alright cutie, I'm here I'm here... shh shh shhhhh\" He says softly as he slowly bends down, presses his forehead to hers while softly removing her hands from her head and replacing them with his own \"There you go Liz just feel my heartbeat... thats it relax.. you're safe Ive got you\" He whispers as he reaches into his bag removes a syringe filled with a strange looking light blue substance, slowly removing the needle cap and quickly sticking Liz in the arm and delivering the full dose. She quickly begins to loosen her grip, and slowly slumps into Aiden's arms and with a very dazed confusion spread across her face looks up to him and say's \"Why do you smell like Whis...\" And falls right to sleep. Aiden carriers her over to the couch and sets her down to sleep. \"She'll be alright Franklin, just tell her she had a bad one when she wakes up. Oh and Franklin, Thank you for waking me\" Franklin smiles lightly to Aiden as he walks away.\n\nAbout an hour later Aiden is sitting down in his office, gulping down his patented \"GrogBeGone\" smoothie, god knows whats in it. As hes scrolling through email after email the phone rings.\n\n\"Listen Jody, this really isnt a good time, I feel awful, Liz had an episode, can this please just wait an hour or two?\"\n\n\"I'm Sorry Aid, but you told me to tell as soon as I could if it ever happens...\"\n\n\"If .. what happens...you don't mean..?'\n\n\"I'm afraid so sir, the board voted, and R&D are working on it as we speak...\" \"WHAT THE FUCK!! I TOLD THEM ABSOLUTELY NOT NO CHANCE, NU UH, NOPE Not while I'm President of this God forsaken company. thank you Jordy.\"\n\nAiden furiously slams his phone against the wall shattering it into pieces. As he gathers his things in a rush out the door he yells behind him.\n\n\"Franklin! Its happening, They're going through with it!... I think were going to need... the most extreme of measures... meet me at the office in 30 minutes with it.\"\n\nHe rushes too his brand new autonomous Tesla custom series Hybrid, gets in, switches to Manual pilot and Full power mode. Due to some extreme luck arrives unharmed at the office within 12 minutes. That's a new record actually, not that it matters anymore. He storms inside and to the elevator glazing directly over Jordy's pleas to stay calm and not do anything rash. While on the elevator's 37 floor ascent to the executive floor Aiden's furious expression turns to something of almost childish delight by the time the elevator ding sounded, indicating he was there. \n\nThe doors open, Aiden glides out and down the hall. A quick left, followed by a right and pushes his way into the board meeting. \n\"Aiden?! What are you doing here you know the sitting president isn't permitted into the me-\"\n\n\"You shut your FILTHY FUCKING MOUTH GREG\" \n\nThe entire room goes completely silent. Aiden takes a long drawn out breath and opens his mouth with a peculiarly, jocular expression.\n\n\"I took this Job for one reason and one reason alone, to ensure that the mistakes I made, the mistakes... WE... made. NEVER. HAPPEN. AGAIN. I think ive made that explicitly clear for the past 12 years. I will never be a part of something that could destroy a family like it did mine. I simply cannot live with myself knowing that some other poor sap out there might wake up 5 days of the week in a hungover daze, praying that his wife of 22 years is herself today, wishing for one more hour of sleep because at least there the pain isnt real, at least then there's a chance he could be truly happy. I cant go on knowing that some poor women stricken with a disease as bad as it gets, having no other hope, enrolls in our human trials as a last ditch effort only to find out 4 months later, that our \"Anitdote\" simply represses symptoms, simply removes the physical ailments only to be replaced with debilitating thoughts, voices and migraines. No. Absolutely not. I cannot allow this to continue, shut it down now.\" Aiden declares, slightly shaking with rage, or maybe fear.\n\n\"...But Aiden.. we fixed it, what happened to Liz is awful but that syrum we made to help her was actually the key we added it to our formula.. this batch has had perfect results with ALL lab tests, even with Chimps! This could finally be.. the cure...\"\n\n\"No, you're wrong I've seen what our syrum does to humans.. I simply cannot... No ...NO NO NO NO no no nononononono\" \n\nAs Aiden utters his last \"no\" his face jumps from a contorted confused anger into an even more horrifying grin. He then walks out of the room. Franklin is here.\n\n\"Is this it Frank? is it all here I just have to open it?\"\n\n\"Well... yes sir but.. I dont think this will really sol...\"\n\n\"Thank you Franklin.\" Aiden says completely ignoring everything he was saying while entranced with this very small, shiny black box with very small silver lettering etched into the top that read PNDOR\n\"Now Franklin, please go home, go to my wife, go into our room, open our closet, on my side look under the shoe rack there will be a safe, type in the PIN 7435 and remove the envelope. Give it to her when the news breaks please.\"\n\n\"Sir... just what exactly are you planning to...?\"\n\n\"Shh Franklin this has to happen, please just do this for me\"\n\n\"..But sir, I cant.. Just..'\n\n\"Yes you can, please go, now.\"\n\n\"Ok but sir remember you only have 30 real seconds when..\"\n\n\"I know, now go! ill give you enough time to get home.\"\n\nFranklin leaves, and Aiden sits down in a chair for about 15 minutes... staring intently into the Silver letters... PNDOR... rubbing his index finger over them back and forth thoughts madly flashing in his mind, different voices telling him what to do, pleading for an alternative, urging for more extreme measures, all swirling around, making Aiden feel a gut wrenching like hes never felt in his life, not even on the first night he learned what happened to Elizabeth. Elizabeth, that's right! \"I need to open it.. now.\"\n\nAiden Opens the black box and the entire floor of the office immediately goes pitch black, not a word, not a sound, not even a vibration... It was almost maddening.. the absolute silence, then suddenly a translucent light illuminated the first few feet in front of Aiden, he could see, hear, feel. It was go time. Aiden slipped into the board room and without even the slightest of hesitation slit every last one of the board members throats, weirdly nothing came out. no blood, nothing, the slits on their throats were barely noticeable. When he finally finished, He turned to himself... the last surviving person who knew the formula.. and with a massive sigh of relief he slid the cold blade directly through his clavicle into the rib cage and directly into the heart. The sensation of the knife piercing him was not agony, but instead relaxation, and with a smile, his body stood there for a few seconds and when light was returned, time resumed, all 14 bodies simultaneously fell to the ground with a resounding thud.\n\nA few moments later Franklin woke up in Aiden's closet with the envelope he was informed to obtain. He looked at it knowingly and slowly got up and went to find Elizabeth. She was on the couch staring at the T.V., reading the headlines in a sort of dumbfounded shock. \n\n\"Miss...Miss Elizabeth.. Master Franklin told me to give you this..\"\n\nShe opened the envelope and pulled out a small index card, written on it in Aiden's hand writing was\n\n\"I'm Here, I'll always be here, you don't need to worry anymore\"" ]	1
For this prompt, think of it like getting a response from customer service or IT support (over the phone, email, etc.).	[WP] One day, while praying to God (or another deity) you get a response...from his help desk.	[ "It was a day like any other. I got back from work at 5:30pm. I’d changed into casual clothes by 5:45. To recharge, I cleaned the house before starting dinner at precisely 6:30. The cooking was finished at 7:05. I sat down to eat, expecting to finish at precisely 7:30. Of course, before I actually began my meal, I said a quick prayer. \n\n“Thank you Lord, for this bounty.” \n\nI raised my head, but just as I lifted my fork, I heard something strange. \n\n“Yea, so then I told her…” A voice echoed through my head, but it sounded quite far away. I could barely make out what it was saying “…Seriously!? That girl be trippin’.” \n\nI looked around but there was no one else in the room. Of course there wouldn’t be, I lived alone. \n\n“Oh-my-boss! There was a call connected this whole time!?” Now I could hear the voice clearly. Strangely, they sounded like an adolescent girl. “I’m, like, so sorry, sir. Could you please repeat your prayer?” \n\n“Um…what?” \n\n“Like, I’m here to listen to your prayers for the big man. So, tell me your prayer, or whatever.” \n\nAt this point, I was out of my chair. My breathing quickened. \n\n“The big man…you mean god, right?”\n\n“I ain’t talkin’ about Santa Claus.” \n\n“Then, he’ll hear my prayer!?” \n\n“Yep.” \n\n“Oh, wow, I have so much to say. First, does he remember that time in seventh grade when I-” \n\n“-Ooh, I’m going to have to cut you off there. This sounds like a lot of work and I just can’t deal right now.” \n\n“What!?” I shouted, looking like a madman in my empty house. “Look, I’ll be quick, just take my message.” \n\n“Sorry, Tammy’s, like, trying to pull me away. It sounds important, sooo…” \n\n“Tell her to wait a minute, I said I’ll be quick!” \n\n“Ah, but I totally forgot about my paperwork. I’m really busy so I gotta’ go…” \n\n“What paperwork? You work at a call center.” \n\n“Look, this is, um, actually just a new marketing scheme by Geico. We can, like, save you 15% or more on car insurance.” \n\n“Do you think I’d believe that at this point?” \n\n“Um, maybe you have the wrong number…”\n\n“THE WRONG NUMBER? HOW THE HELL COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!?”\n\n“…Wow.” \n\nAn uncomfortable silence followed her statement. \n\n“…Yea, ok guy, that kind of language was totally uncalled for. I’m transferring your call.” \n\n“No, wait!” \n\nI heard a familiar click and then an ominous ringing filled my head. After a few seconds, that stopped as well. \n\n*“Hello?”* A deep and sinister voice entered my mind. \n\nBefore, my head had been full of questions. Now, I only had one. \n\nHow do I hang up? \n" ]	1
	[wp] you have the ability to travel back in time, but only once a year and for 10 seconds at a time.	[ "I slowly dragged my rocking chair into to front porch. At my age, I could barely walk twenty meters from my house with these old bones, no wonder it's such a struggle. A back pain is a too small of a price for me to pay, I thought.\n\nWhen I finally reached the front porch, I pushed it right next to bonsai tree–the spot where I have always been. I looked around and reminisced the memories I had on such familiar place. I sat on the rocking chair and slowly closed my eyes as I felt the comfort in every rock it makes. The second I close my eyes, I know where my dream would take me and I would have to brace myself for it.\n\n10\n\"Selle, every second I spend with you-\"\n\n9\n\"-is a second I that lasts forever-\"\n\n8\n\"-because each second with you-\"\n\n7\n \"-is a second I'd never forget.\"\n\n8\n\"I want to live forever-\"\n\n7\n\"-and I could only live forever-\"\n\n6\n\"-if I'm with you.\"\n\n5\n\"What are you saying Tommy?\"\n\n4\n\"I love you.\"\n\n3\n\"Will you-\"\n\n2\n\"-marry me?\"\n\n1\n\"YES!\"\n\n—\n\nIt has gone dark, it was time for me to open my eyes. I have grown weary so it would be best if I just rest there for a while. \"Maybe next time I see you it wouldn't be on a dream, Selle.\", I whispered as the chair slowly rocked back and forth.... back and forth... back... and forth... until the chair stopped moving.\n\n", "As the clock struck midnight, I can hear the neighbors shouting 'Happy new year' through the wall, while I'm here alone, sitting in my chair, like every year before.\n\nI took a deep breath, and closed my eyes and waited for the travel to be acknowledged. I don't know when I got this power or how, maybe god took pity on me, or saw it as some cruel joke. I know I can change nothing.\n\nAs I counted in my head mentally the time I was allowed, I drifted of into unconsciousness. Darkness felt like forever until I heard my name called again, by the warm familiar voice, and then I opened my eyes again.\n\n10\n\n\"Derek, I'm gonna head to the shop now, see you soon.\" she shouted from the door way.\n\n9\n\nMy uncontrollable 16 year old self turned his head to the side in her direction, so she could hear him from from the room. \"Yes, mom.\"\n\nGet up you Idiot! go tell her you to be careful on the road, to watch where she's going, that you love her, and appreciate her\n\n8\n\n\"The oven is still hot, so wait till I'm back before eating, got it?\" She said as the click of the front door opens.\n\n\"Yes, mom.\" I rolled my eyes.\n\nGET UP! GO AND FETCH HER OUT, GO TELL HER THANK YOU FOR ALL SHE DID, THAT YOU LOVE AND CARE FOR HER, AND NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN REPLACE HER\n\n7\n\n\"Love you son, take care.\"\n\nJUST GET UP AND SAY YOU LOVE HER TOO, SEE HER FACE ONE LAST TIME\n\n6\n\n5\n\nPlease...Before you regret it for the rest of your life\n\n4\n\nThe door clicks shut.\n\n3\n\nPlease\n\n2\n\n1\n\nI bolted up from my seat to look at the foyer, but all that's left is the empty and closed doorway.\n\nEvery year.\n\nEvery time.\n\nI have forgotten what she looks like anymore.\n\nOnly her voice, and the sound of silence.\n\n" ]	2
	[WP]Every time you have ever dropped your phone and go to pick it up, doing so has saved your life from some catastrophic injury. You just dropped it off a cliff.	[ "I didn't jump. \n\nI stood there, blankly staring into the canyon, waiting for some freak accident to happen, as I would rather take my chances with a madman with a gun than jumping off of the cliff. \n\nBut nothing happened, I even heard the phone hit the bottom, the loud crunch filling my ears, causing me to wince as I waited, possibly hoping that something would happen. \n\nIt's been three days now. \n\nNothing has happened. \nI got a new phone, I dropped it. \nNothing happened. \n\nI started thinking, maybe my fate was tied to the old phone, maybe the phone was actually sentient and needed to free itself from it's master, thus prompting the freak accidents that engulfed my life. \nUntil I dropped it off the side of the canyon. \nMaybe the 'accidents' didn't kill me because the phone, or whatever it really was, didn't take into account the basic human instinct to pick it up. Until then. It's final ploy to kill me was to kill itself, jumping off the cliff, killing me along with it, as I would jump, believing that I would fear I would die a horrible death otherwise. \nBut I won. \n\nIt was then the van crashed into my house and men in red cloaks jumped out of the back.\nShouting as they came after me, \"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!\"\n\nSorry for formatting, on mobile. \n\nEdit- Spelling and some formatting. ", "It was a cliche kind of breathtaking. The kind of view fit for postcards and desktop backgrounds. I stood on the edge of a chasm created by years of nature's hard work and considered the thoughts I might have as I fell. Would it happen too fast to think? Would I regret it and pointlessly grasp for the edge? Would I feel at peace? \n\n\nI edged closer to the precipice and felt my toes escape the earth. I could feel the edge of the cliff pressing against the balls of my feet through my shoes. I could tell that less was keeping me here than 5 seconds previously, that my time on earth was creeping toward a quick commercial break for falling. On earth. off earth. on earth with momentum. That was the idea, the point I guess.\n\n\nI leaned out a little farther, trying to make sense of the ground so far below. I tried to picture the ground I was standing on from the perspective of someone lying on the ground below. The impossibility of this thought experiment somehow encouraged my apprehension and my resolve simultaneously. I squinted to get a better view and felt the edge cave a bit under my right foot. The sudden loss of stability sent me tumbling backward but my phone seemed not to care for the change in direction as it slid from my hoodie pocket. I watched the device fall, as though in slow motion, and slide beyond my field of view. I scrambled to the edge to watch it's descent. \n\n\nMy choice to jump was wholly unaffected as the phone glanced off a ledge 20 meters below and began spinning as a pinwheel; flashing screen, case, screen, case, screen, case. The flipping quickly became imperceptible and shortly after I was unable to distinguish the falling phone from the landscape below. Oddly though, it did remind me of another time I had dropped my phone, crossing the street. Similar situation, tripped slightly, phone slid out of hoodie, landed on the street. It wouldn't really stand out if it weren't for the Toyota Camry that passed close enough to sway my hair in it's wake of wind and metal, running the red light and barely avoiding a couple cars in the process. If I hadn't been a clumsy moron, I might have died. I remember regretting keeping my phone in my hoodie pocket instead of secured in my pants pocket. The gods, cruel as they may be, had offered me an out and my fucking phone had ruined it. I wasn't bending over to pick the phone up this time though.\n\n\nI glanced down at the treetops and contemplated the feeling of falling again. I had always enjoyed that feeling, the initial primal reaction of fear then the realization that safety was below. I wondered if the fear reaction gave way falling that far. It was too far to really comprehend, surely there would be enough time to think about my decision on the way down. I made a note to avoid the outcrop of rocks my phone had hit on its journey to salvation. I wanted that time to think, I couldn't risk knocking myself out and missing the good part.\n\n\nThat reminded me of the last time I got knocked out. Jumping into a pool to get my damn phone. It got knocked out of my hand by a drunk friend and straight in. I dove in after it and that's the last I remember. Apparently diving into the shallow end of pools is frowned upon by doctors. It wasn't all bad though: apparently I narrowly missed the tree falling. Truth be told, I feel like that tree stole my diving heroics' thunder. But some tree fell into the pool around the same time, cracked the concrete around the edge where I had been. Probably would have done me in too, but that was before I wanted to be done in. \n\n\nI briefly considered the coincidence of my poor phone handling saving my life before stepping to the edge for the last time. I chuckled about the idea of diving into the gap to grab it only to realize the world's largest pile of leaves was waiting for me below. Then I considered how many leaves it would take to slow a human at near terminal velocity. Then I jumped out. It turns out, I wasn't scared; I just needed to get my phone. " ]	2
	[WP] You die. Instead of heaven/afterlife, you wake up having a body like an alien/octopus, wearing a VR-headset, and another octopus-like being asks you (in an alien language that you suddenly comprehend): "So, bro.. how's the new game? Pretty cool, eh...?"	[ "\"Seriously dude you lived to nearly 60, on your first run! That's Awesome! Does Roy 2: Dave live up to the hype? says the odd creature \n\n\"I..I what? Where am I? Who are you? What are you? Oh god What am I?I stammer looking in horror at my tentacles realizing I wasn't human. \n\n\"Oh come on aarok, You have over a thousand years in Roy, how bad could Roy 2: Dave be y'know what I'm just going to call it Dave easier that way\" the creature says nonchalantly \n\n'What? Aarok? No no no I'm Dave, i just had cancer i was at St. annes in Maine.' I think to myself. Then the memories of who I really am begin to sink in. \n\nI am Aarok I am 25 years old and I am not the human Dave but I am a terluk.\n\n\"Holy shit that's realistic\" I say to normak I was not ready, I really thought I was Dave\" \n\n\"Wow really?\" Normak replies \"now I need to check it out.....\" \n\nHe breaks off as a couple of humans walk into the arcade.\n\n\"I.. I... I...I don't know about this Rick says the shorter human. \"We just broke you out of prison don't you think we should get rid of your records or something first ?\"\n\n\"What belch what records morty? My birth certificate? Social security number? I deleted both of them yea belches years ago morty. They have other ways of tracking me, ways I can't destroy now shut up I want belches I want to play roy. Says the taller one as he walks up to the simulator\n\n\"What the fuck is this?\" He says as he gets to the machine \n\n\"Roy 2: Dave\" I reply \"and actually my friend has the next game\" \n\n\"Yeahhhhh, no fuck that\" says the taller man \"I am getting next game and I am going to crush your scores\" he says as he rips the headset out of Normak ' s tentacles.\n\n\"Hey man what the fuck?\" Normak says as he rips it back \"he said we have next game wait your turn.\"\n\n\"Yeah rick you really need to wait your turn\" says the smaller one \n\n\"Okay screw this,\" says the tall human suddenly he shoot a device at normak and mine feet.\n\nNext thing I know I'm in my parents bedroom and they're pushing against eachother and grunting.\n\n\"Hot!\" Whispers normak besides me.\n\n\"OH MY GOD MOM DAD WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP!!\" I shout as I realize what is happening right before my eyes.\n\n\n(Clearly stolen characters from rick and morty, I make no claims to ownership)" ]	1
	[WP] Every year, Santa Claus must fight to be able to bring gifts to children. Every year, he returns home, defeated. This year will be different. Santa has a plan.	[ "\"Are we on the same page here?\"\n\nThe man across him looked up for the first time in the past ten minutes. He closed the ornate box to hide the exquisite velvet carpet that lined the inside of the box, leading to a trough that cupped its treasure, an egg that illuminated with pulsing light.\n\n\"Dude don't be mistaken. I'm loving the gift that you've brought me. Quick question though - it's been bothering me - why are you dressed as Santa? It makes protecting you that much more difficult.\"\n\n\"Deal with it,\" Santa said, arms wide in a gesture that he has learnt from the kids in Bronx.\n\n\"Whatever, I don't care even if you are Santa himself. I'm in.\" They shook on it. Santa gave the broadest grin from behind his beard. \n\nNow, they've all been gathered. Some had questioned his standards (\"I haven't been nice\") and others had questioned his prowess (\"Don't you have an army of elves?\"). The best squad of protectors and aggressors is now at his command. \n\nThis year, it's gonna be different. This year, his gifts will finally get to the children. \n\nHis foe? A foul creation of modern civilisation who can be best described as a blue carpet brought to life. He is the monster who is known by his favourite loot. Santa clenched his gloved fist, strong with resolve. \n\nThe Cookie Monster will no longer have his way. Not anymore. \n\n---\n\nI am world-building, prompt by prompt. Selected work goes [here](https://fivenswrite.wordpress.com)" ]	1
See prompt.	[WP] It is December 27th. Two days ago Santa did not deliver gifts for the first time in 600 years. Santa's Workshop has gone dark. You are the leader of the SEAL Team tasked with finding out why. This is your story.	[ "Night lasts a long time in the north pole, and the cold can drive a man crazy. It's been more than a day, and I've lost radio contact. I have to remain awake. He sees me when I'm sleeping... knows when I'm awake. He knows I've been bad.\n\nThere were eight of us when this mission started. It's just me now.\n\n Santa hadn't missed a delivery since the 15th century. The world economy had grown to rely on the free presents produced by the mass slave labor force of elves he had acquired. When the 27th came around and no presents, chaos broke out. It had long been the agreement that he would provide toys for our youth. We thought that he had broken the agreement, but it turned out we did.\n\nThe first pass over the north pole we planned on having a little chat with the fat man. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just late, right? Wrong. Lights out all over man.\n\nJohn was the first to speak when we touched down. \"Ya think it'd be a little cooler at the north pole\". Sarcastic prick, it was negative thirty. Yeah it was a little warm. But Johnny man, I miss him. Johnny got his gun, and Johnny went to war. You don't see simplicity like that often.\n\nMost everyone ignored it and moved into formation. Checkin' our flanks, establishing covering positions, and changing point along the way. It was thirty meters to the door and quite the whole way. I took point at the door. Not a peep. No elves, no power, just the snow. Snow covers sound up pretty well. Sean barely needed ear protection when I breached the lock with my \"master key\". Usually being that close to a shotgun blast can be deafening.\n\nWe entered at 0842 hours. and immediately switched to night vision. \"Johnny, you and Clark take the back, Sam you're up front with me got it?\" They got it. I trusted Johnny and Clark with my ass, and Sam with my life. \"Jeff, Tim, Jenette, Aaron, you take the basement, find the power\". \"Roger\", I heard them say. Except Aaron. \n\nPanic started immediately \"Aaron, you there\", \"Where the fuck are ya?\", \"Aaron, stop fuckin with us\". He wasn't there. We got on the radio and broke silence. No response. Not Aaron, and not the copter. Three men AWOL. The snow covers sound up pretty well.\n\nJeff was quick to freak out. He was too green, but Tim and Jen were greener. There's no excuse to lose your cool when a man is missing so I landed a fist in his jaw to shut him up. Sam, she got us moving in the right direction. There was no time to waste \"We've got to find santa men, we've got a mission\". New plan right? I'm not splitting the team up. Elves are crafty bastards. Agile, accurate. They tinker, and come with more \"toys\" than any other force I've gone against. I thought they would go down like bitches, but I must have underestimated them. I thought.\n\n\"We are not splitting up, allright\" it wasn't a question. It would be slower but we were going to take a measured sweep. Booby traps. Elves always work with booby traps. We had to disarm a number along the way. Sometimes we covered ten meters in ten minutes. The halls were thick with them. Combined with the fact that elves see in the dark pretty well, our first task was to turn the power on. So we moved to the generator room first. Windows were the worst part by the way. We'd have to crawl on our stomachs in case of snipers. The blizzard outside combined with the moon made visibility terrible. Everytime the moon came out through the clouds the night vision would take a second to adjust and anyone in the light would be blind. \n\nSNAP. Fucking Jeff man. He put his hand right on a chattering pair of teeth, set with maximum tension. Jumped right to his feet screaming, Sam had to tackle him back down. Looking back it was pointless though. There were no snipers. I know there weren't any, anymore. Jeff lost over half of his hand. He began to bitch immediately. Clark was a medic so he started mending him up. We were taking too long though. The generator was within screaming distance so we started moving up without them. I'd say it was a mistake, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Jeff was leaning up against the outside wall between two windows, while Clark worked, staring straight into a perpendicular hallway. It wasn't a good spot, but Jeff wasn't moving. \n\nA few minutes and we'd gotten to the door to the basement. I'd say it was colder there but the heat had been off for a while. Hours. I'd thought they turned off the power to slow us down, but I didn't see any of them. Jingle Jingle. I heard it but I wasn't really listening. Too deep in thought. Jingle. Elves don't like the cold too much either. 1000 hours, and it would have been pitch black out except for the moon. It was slightly bright, the blizzard let up for a minute, so we had our nightvision off until we were ready to go into the basement. Jingle Jingle rattle. \"What the fuck?\"\n\nWe all heard Clark scream first right as the moon passed through the clouds for a second. Jeff only panted deeply. I think he'd passed out. By the time we got our grainy green nightvision on, we only saw Jeff being dragged out into the hall he'd been facing. Then the screaming from both of them.\n\nWe stood and ran. Looked in the hallway. There were smears of blood all over and dozens of traps had been sprung. The sound of something running was all it took to get Johnny running. \"Fuck Johnny STOP!\" Dammit Johnny, why'd you never listen. You just wanted to be a hero. The screaming had already stopped by the time we even got to the hall. \n\n\"Johnny! Johnny!\" I could smell urine. Tim hadn't said a word since we got here. I guess I over estimated him. Still this freaked me out so I don't blame him. \"Just stay frosty and we will make it Tim. We WILL make it.\"\n\nAgain, we broke radio silence, \"Johnny, Clark, Jeff, what happened?\". Silence for only a second then a response \"Bu-lleeeah click click click click\" It was grating and not human. Tim shit himself, and now Jen was shaking. \"We're going to the basement NOW!\". I practically had to drag the three of them down there. What kind of games were those elves playing. It was just a reindeer. They were fucking with us. They killed or captured them and hooked up our radios to the deer. We had to change the frequency because it just kept coming through. If Aaron wanted to talk to us, he'd be shit out of luck. I just hoped he'd gone back to the chopper and the blizzard blocked the signal. God I prayed it.\n\nThe generator was busted. Seriously busted, but that wasn't the worst part. We didn't turn on the back up because we didn't want to see this in full color. It was creepy in green, but we didn't want to see it in red. It would make it real.\n\nI don't know how long we stood there, but it felt longer than it was I'm sure. Bodies of elves shredded everywhere. I couldn't begin to count them. Dim warm lights on the cold bodies. They had been dead since at least Christmas morning. They'd set up traps and hid in here. They aren't soldiers.1350 hours we were going to get to the copter and get out. Abort mission, I'd hoped.\n\nIt was much faster to get back. It was only a fifteen minute walk, covering ourselves with four people. I was scared, yeah. Trembling a little. But when we got out to the pad. The helicopter had been flipped and torn in half. \"Shit Shit Shit\" Jen kicked up snow, until she hit something solid. Aaron. His Torso had been spun around. Just his torso. His legs were facing in the same direction as his head. It would have been quick, and he couldn't have screamed. Shit.\n\nI wouldn't call our retreat \"tactical\". The four of us ran back. We scurried. Like rats. We slammed the door shut and Tim barely got in, before we heard the window shatter. \n\nWe didn't give a shit about the traps. Fuck the traps. We ran in the other direction, straight through Santa's workshop. We saw the bodies. It was here first. If we'd split up into two groups this mission would have ended a lot sooner. They didn't have time to set up as many traps here. As many. I didn't see what took out Tim but I turned around for a second and saw him crawling on the ground. I said to stay frosty Tim. That's what I thought. I was blaming him.\n\nWe'd gotten into the office and slammed the door shut. Locked it, breathed heavy. It had been several minutes. We then heard it outside the door \"Beeeh click Beeeeeeeh click click click\". The voice was grumbling flowing naturally into the clicking sound. We only saw it's shadow. At least nine feet. Rattle Rattle. There was no jingling, it was closer to a clank, but it was the sound from earlier. Finally the rattling died down. God.\n\n\"What are we so scared of, we haven't even shot it\". \"You wanna line up you're sites on it\". Jen and I had apparently ceased to get along. The cold may have been getting to us. It had just started warming up from the emergency power. Sam was silent.\n", "In the dead of night, our helicopters flew low over the eerily dark complex. Dorms, factories, and office buildings stood in ruin, illuminated only by the crescent moon. Our six helicopters touched down in a perimeter around the city; my fellow soldiers and I leapt out into the freezing air. There was a scent of burning garbage in the air. Bits of snow were falling from the perfectly clear sky... or was it ash?\n\n\"Team Bravo, take the two workshops and move in through the dorm towards the center tower. Over.\"\n\nThe radio clicked off and the helicopters left. We were on our own.\n\nSix of us circled the back door of the lifeless workshop and Sergeant Stravinsky breached it. We scanned the inside with the flashlights at the end of our rifles. There was no evidence of life; only death. Chunks of frozen visceral matter covered the floor and walls. Elves and pieces of elves were everywhere, frozen stiff: trapped in machines, halfway through lathes, mechanically extruded, etc. It was a truly horrendous sight. \n\nWe began to take notice of how terrible the working conditions here must have been. Tiny 4x4x6 boxes were the working space for one worker, with no guaranteed breaks and a 12-hour workday minimum. There were piles of frozen fecal matter and what appeared to be urine, and although we couldn't be sure how old they were, the lack of bathrooms in the building assured us that they probably outdated the corpses.\n\nWe left the workshop and headed into the two-story elf dorm, sweeping the lower hallway before going room to room. Many were empty. I broke the flimsy wooden door to one room and bent down to enter, finding to my horror a male and female elf that had apparently stripped and killed themselves in some sort of sadistic ritual. Scanning upstairs we found something far different; here the floor of the dark hallway was covered with dead elves, who appeared to have been lined up and systematically shot with a single bullet to the head. At the end of the hallway we found one elf barely recognizable; we assumed he had tried to run away.\n\nAs we left the dorm and approached the center of town, a heavy black smoke filled the air, smelling this time of burning flesh. We met up with the six other teams outside the massive red and white tower in the center of the city, where the smoke was coming from. Our goal was to get to the penthouse, grab the target, and wait on the roof for extraction.\n\nSurrounding the tower were elf bodies, thousands of them. Many were still clutching protest signs. Rabid reindeer were feasting on their bodies, some still warm. I sniffed.\n\n\"You smell that?\" I asked.\n\n\"What? You mean the smoke?\" the Sergeant replied.\n\n\"No, it smells almost like...\" I trailed off as we all noticed the subtle scent of cyanide gas.\n\n\"Gas masks on, boys,\" the Sergeant ordered.\n\nI reached into my pack and put the mask over my face, then wrapped the rest of my head back up in the scarf it had been in before. We waded through the knee-deep carnage as we approached the building. Suddenly, there was an explosion from about halfway up. I ran; some froze. Huge chunks of sheet metal and glass fell and crushed at least a dozen men. Sergeant Stravinsky was trapped under a large metal sheet.\n\n\"Get 'im out! Get 'im out!\"\n\nEveryone rushed to the scene, but it didn't look good. Everything from his stomach down had been crushed; his blood was already beginning to freeze his lower ribs to the metal. He screamed for a bit. His friend, Sergeant Holst, ran to his side.\n\n\"Igor! Igor, we're going to get you out of here, okay? Just stay with us,\" he said.\n\n\"No you're not. It's sixty below and I'm trapped under ten tons of steel surrounded by dead elves. It's not a conventional way to go, but I'll take it,\" the Sergeant replied.\n\nHe reached down to his utility belt, pulled up his combat knife, and cut his own throat. Nobody stopped him; nobody really tried to stop him. The ground commander radioed back to command.\n\n\"We're taking heavy casualties, over? Heavy casualties!\"\n\n\"Say again, over?\"\n\n\"HEAVY CASUALTIES. We've got ten guys dead, a dozen or so wounded. There is active combat surrounding the tower, over.\"\n\n\"We cannot extract you right now. Black hawks under heavy turbulence from incoming blizzard. You'll have to wait it out, over.\"\n\nThe CO was about to reply when he was interrupted by another soldier.\n\n\"Sir, target spotted!\"\n\nWe all turned our eyes to the skies, where the massive sleigh had just taken off from the roof of the tower. It flew around the city, dropping gift-shaped bombs on the buildings and headed our way.\n\n\"Shoot it down.\"\n\nOur three specialists raised their RPGs to the sky and fired. One missed, one hit a reindeer, and one struck the bottom of the sleigh, setting off some of the bombs and sending the whole thing into a tailspin, crashing into the tower several stories up with a Hollywood-style explosion.\n\n\"Into the tower! Go, go!\"\n\nWe all rushed the tower, tripping over frozen and not-so-frozen elves as we ran up eight flights of stairs. Up here the cyanide was mixed with chlorine and smoke. The outside of my armor began to peel as we headed towards the crash site, but we weren't the first ones there. I was one of the first around the corner to find a detachment of about eighty elves, mostly armed, waiting there. They saw me first and began shooting. I jumped back around the corner, waited for some others to join me, and turned around shooting blindly into the crowd. I used my final ten bullets on this one elf, who was really persistent. \n\nAll was said and done within forty-five seconds, and I found myself with a bullet wound on my left arm that I hadn't even noticed. It wasn't too bad, just a graze, but I was bleeding profusely. I grabbed a frozen light fixture off the wall and stuck it in my wound; it stuck instantly, sealing the blood inside. We approached the crash site and found nothing short of some twisted metal and a burned Christmas hat. Our work here was done.\n\nThe helicopters were able to come in quickly before the blizzard hit; one went down during the escape and was quickly captured by a swarm of over two thousand elves. I took the starboard gun and opened fire on the swarm, taking down a whole bunch but still hardly making a dent in the population. We didn't have the resources to rescue our men.\n\nOf course, we couldn't let word of this stand, so planes on standby flew in from Greenland and nuked the whole village. It was a beautiful site from the Qaanaq base, with the colors and the clouds... absolutely beautiful. The soldiers officially died when a helicopter went missing over the North Pole, a helicopter which would never be found despite a media-hyped search. The heat spike was to be blamed on global warming; the radiation on a North Korean nuclear test that would be announced the following morning.\n\nAs for Santa, we got this old guy from Vermont to take his place.", "\"Fuck, I hate this place,\" Barry muttered under his breath. Loud enough for us all to hear over the microphones though, of course. I never got that. Why half ass it? Either say it out loud, or not at all.\n\nCouldn't blame him for the sentiment, though. Our flashlights swooped over lines of dolls and action figures, most of them with unfinished paint jobs. To make it worse, the place was bitterly cold, the ceramic plated body armour doing little to warm us up.\n\nWe'd lost Charles already, as he dove into a toy vault, and refused to come out. We could collect him later, assuming we made it out of this alive.\n\n\"Darryl, cover me,\" I muttered over the radio. He gave the affirmative, and I dashed through the darkened hallway, bursting into the room of the man himself.\n\n\"Hello, Alan. You've been a good boy this year, haven't you?\" he asked, attempting to smile despite the circumstances.\n\n\"Santa... What's going on?\" I gestured around the factory. \"Why is the factory shut down? The US economy needs this.\"\n\nI can't quite bring myself to be angry at Santa. But I can muster up disapproval.\n\n\"It's the Grinch,\" he explained. \"He wants to steal Christmas, and he made some friends. Some friends with very loud toys,\" he points to a shell casing on the ground.\n\n\"Jesus,\" I curse, not really caring if that takes me off the 'nice' list. \"They're armed?\"\n\n\"Now hang on, Alan,\" Santa holds out a sack. \"I've made some toys for you as well.\"\n\n\"This is hardly the time for-\" I begin, but he shushes me, shoving it into my hands. It's very heavy, but a SEAL could handle it.\n\n\"Share them with your friends,\" he says, ushering me out of the room, drinking from a gallon jug of milk.\n\n\"You two heard that?\" I glance at my squadmates. \"Toys, bloody toys!\" I drop the sack in the corridor and storm over to the conveyor belt to kick some dolls over.\n\n\"Hey Chief?\" Darryl asks.\n\n\"Yeah, what?\" I look over at him.\n\nDarryl just grins, holding up a flashbang he drew from the bag.\n\n\"Ah, that kind of toy,\" I nod in understanding. " ]	3
Based on the popular rumor that Scientology was created as the result of a bar bet between L. Ron Hubbard and Robert Heinlein.	[WP] A sci-fi writer, a satirist, a historian, a children's book author, and the creator of Mad Libs place a wager on who can create the most successful religion.	[ "\"Okay then.\"\n\nIt was only 50 bucks, but it was an important 50 bucks. Each one was wallowing in the lowest depths of poverty and alcoholism, and needed the money. The sci-fi writer, Jacob LeWattes, born in Boston, age 32. The satirist, Douglas H. Vine, age 26. The historian, Wayne Castarbach, age 53. The children's book author, Tobias Wellenruether, age 47. And the long forgotten creator of Mad Libs. He liked to be called Dave.\n\nEach had 20 minutes to pitch to each other their ideas, and begin planning their rise. Each would use their expertise in some way. And Wayne was to begin.\n\n\"After serious consideration, I believe that throughout history, a single figure has been more trustworthy than a group in religion.\"\n\nHe cleared his throat awkwardly and adjusted his glasses.\n\n\"So, having studied Christianity, Islam and Judaism, I believe the ideal figure for the hive mind must be mysterious and alone. Therefore, I suggest to you that the world was created by Keanu Reeves.\"\n\nThe others looked at each other in confusion.\n\n\"He's perfect. He might be a time travelling vampire god, but he might be an ancient deity trapped in an actor's body. It's all just ambiguity and perception.\"\n\nDouglas, utilising his thick Italian American accent, piped up. \n\n\"And here I thought I was the satirist.\"\n\nWayne sat down, and motioned for the next man to step forward.\n\n\"I'll take it.\" \n\nTobias Wellenruether stepped forward. His strange pseudo-Germanic accent muffled the words he articulated.\n\n\"So, I know how to tap into the -how do I put this- more impressionable minds. And I can conclude that people are just straight up stupid.\"\n\nDouglas poked Dave, as if to insult him somehow.\n\n\"So I believe if I use unsophisticated language and tell them there is a big elephant in the sky that loves them-\"\n\nDouglas broke out laughing.\n\n\"They will eat the idea up. And so Jeremy the sky elephant is my pitch.\"\n\nJacob stood up awkwardly. Marfan syndrome does that. His 7'2\" frame and thick rimmed glasses, with a fragile, skinny build, made him seem the perfect exemplar of his genre.\n\n\"So, following the success of Scientology, I believe you can fool anyone. I mean, if Tom Cruise falls for it, anyone can. So, I have a GENIUS idea.\"\n\nFollowing his unexpected shift in tone, Douglas sat bolt upright.\n\n\"What I do is I tell people there's this thing called Axlplxtylz. And Axlplxtylz is angry at everyone, all the time. So he decides to send these nice guys, let's call them Alsperios, to an imperfect planet pronounced in his language ZRPFLXRXZYLDVZX. For convenience, the Alsperios call it Earth, and settle there.\"\n\nDouglas once again piped up. \n\n\"So basically Scientology?\"\n\nJacob refused to answer and let the next participant come up. It was the quiet Dave. He produced a piece of paper.\n\nDEAR YOU LOT,\nI HAVE A GENIUS IDEA. WE'LL CALL THIS RELIGION (SILLY NOUN) AND GIVE ITS LEADER A NAME LIKE (PERSON IN THE ROOM). THE WORSHIP IS FOR (FRUIT) AND IN A BUILDING CALLED A (SILLY NOUN), WHERE THEY (VERB). AND THEY DO IT IN A (ADJECTIVE) WAY. THE HOLY BOOK IS CALLED (PERSON IN ROOM)'S PROPHECIES, AND IS SOME SENTIMENTALIST PSEUDO-HELPFUL AND RELIGIOUS (NAUGHTY WORD). \n\nHe sat down after they had read it. Then Douglas H. Vine walked up.\n\nHe walked with a swagger in his step, and decided he would deliver his pitch in an alternative method.\n\n\"Let me tell you, one and all, about a tiny little scrawl,\n\nThat's written on some leather thick, almost as small as Jacob's dick.\"\n\nJacob blushed in a strange manner.\n\n\"And it says you have to say that He is better, and nothing else, and don't get meta,\n\n'Cause if you do that, he'll appear right here, and fill your darkened heart with fear,\n\nA metal rod, scaffolding, that's all, maybe it was once part of a wall,\n\nBut it can talk, and it sings in German, and you'll know when it's gonna, 'cause you'll be learnin',\n\nAnd if it sounds nice, your soul is saved, but if it says that you have craved,\n\nFor that girl's embrace for way too long, you, my friend, are very wrong,\n\nAs he'll take your house, your car, your knees, and put you in a hive fulla angry bees.\"\n\nThe others looked at each other, and then looked back, but he was gone.\n\n\"Probably writing another manuscript,\" Tobias said, in an oddly angry tone.\n\n(There will be more to come, I promise)", "“… and then our Lord and Savior, Azeroth, descends from…a shoebox,” Leonard concluded his lengthy mythology which included no less than seven deaths accomplished by a unicycle, a mummy, and a leather jacket, among other things. The other attendants of the bet chuckled amongst themselves, but they never took Leonard’s approach to story-telling serious. As such, they immediately dismissed his Mad Libism. \n\n“Ok,” the barkeep announced, acting as the unofficial judge for their bet. “We’ve heard Tony describe in detail about the irrigation systems of the Gupta Empire in India-”\n\n“No offense Tony, but how do your students listen to you?” asked David.\n\n“Because my students have enough foresight to see the value of learning of the past instead of looking hopelessly into the future for things which will never happen,” answered Tony indignantly. \n\n“Anyway,” continued the barkeep. “We heard Tony’s very well described history of his Indian prophet, and Ronald’s rather whimsical tale of The Big Friendly Prophet and a brief glimpse into its sequel, Charlie and the Holy Factory, so that leaves our last two contenders: David, our sci-fi writer, and the lovely Ms. Beckett, the satirist. By the straw drawing we did, David, you get to go first.”\n\n“Excellent. Well it’s a simple story, really. It’s a tale of hawkmen and hawkwomen trying to find solace in the vast cosmos,” he began. For the next half hour, he entertained the group with how the hawkpeople of Upper Echelon 9 waged an intergalactic war with the space salamanders of Epsilon Persei 8, which resulted in the near extinction of the hawkpeople. Among them, a hero walks and flies, Brian, the Lord of Birds, who flew across the cosmos for 40 lightyears and 40 nightyears, until he found the Earth. Bringing his enlightenment to his followers, he promises to purge humanity of its wickedness in exchange for the planet after all men die in the prophesized Meteor Shower of 2162. Not content with a mere summary, he flourished his tale with hawk calls while he flapped his arms in prayer. When he concluded, applause from the other writers greeted him. \n\n“That’s pretty good,” Diana Beckett remarked. “But I can do you one better.”\n\n“I’d like to see you try,” David responded. While their rivalry lingered in the air, the other writers wondered why they hadn’t gotten a room, yet. \n\n“Well it all starts with our Lord, Azzeroth, a former demon of the Hindu pantheon, who upon meeting man, agreed to help irrigate their land,” she started. The looks of the other writers shifted with dismay as they realize what she was doing. “He toiled in the hot Indian sun, digging the soil, rich fertilizer and…”\n\nShe droned for another 15 minutes on the properties of the soil and how they related to society at large. When interrupted, she insisted that the large picture of history is supported by the little details which warranted a lifetime of study and devotion so that we can gain a better insight into seemingly trivial historical matters, like soil content, the squeaky cabinet in George Washington’s office, and, of course, James Joyce’s last brunch. \n\n “…and with this rich soil content, the Indian people grew and prosper. Among their ranks grew a little girl, named Matilda, who among other things, developed psychic powers…”\n\nWhile going into the important tale of Matilda, who seemed to hold no relevancy to the religion at large, she freely redacted a few parts which she claimed to be risqué for religion. When confronted, she mentioned little Matilda’s story is meant for an introduction into the faith for which children may relate. After all, she asserted, we don’t want to expose the children to too much too early, do we?\n\n“…and of course, we come to the best part, Azzeroth reveals unto humanity that he is actually a birdman from the further reaches of outer space! After all his care and after all he did for his people, he tells us we shall all day when an asteroid hits the earth and our lives don’t really matter. We’re just pawns in his game so that he can colonize earth after we’re gone. But instead of fighting this incredible deity, we ought to join it and sing its praises, for he is far too powerful and wise for us to stop.”\n\nWhen she had concluded, the other writers reluctantly reached for their wallets to pay their wager. \n\n*****\n\nr/Andrew__Wells" ]	2
	[WP] World War 1 was fought with guns. World War 2 was fought with machines. World War 3 was fought with nukes. World War 4 was fought with sticks and stones.	[ "“It’s here, It’s here. I think I found it sir!” Grunt Hayworth shouts into his comm to inform the surface. 2nd Maester Thomas leans to his second in command and states with severe urgency “get our Cryptarch to that tech now, we need to know what’s in that data if we ever hope to survive this war”. SIC Jennings and Cryptarch Diro scramble down the hole as fast as humanly possible, almost slipping on the wet surfaces of the old crumbling concrete. After what seemed like an hour of going down in cramped and barely lit conditions, the decline leveled out and opened to a massive well lit chamber full of grunts running around crazily with digging equipment. As Jennings shouted “ATTENTION” every Grunt visible could be seen dropping everything to stand in salute. “Point me toward Hayworth Grunts!” Jennings shouted. The grunts pointed to the far interior of the old world chamber where a bent-over Grunt was cradling centuries old tech like it was his first born child. The Cryptarch immediately took over, rushing to the tech, inserting cable after cable trying his best to platform into outmoded technology. “It’ll just be a moment sir’’ Diro informed “its running diagnostics, now accessing raw data, checking for old world malware, aaannnddd we're in!” It was obvious Diro was smiling uncontrollably, but hey who could blame him, he was accessing information that no other soul had seen for the last 200 years! Jennings was the first to notice the grin on Diro’s face turn into a horrified look of despair. “What’s wrong Crypto?” the second in command questioned. Diro, with pure terror on his face responded with “It's the data sir, It’s a protocol... It’s a weapon… but It's not just a weapon sir. It's THE weapon”. Puzzled Jennings quizzed the Cryptarch “Is that not a good thing Crypto? The world is at war son”. With his face still ridden with dread the Cryptarch looked up from his tablet, looked his superior dead in the eyes, and relinquished the information he knew would surely be the end of WW5 “You don't understand sir, it's not just any weapon. It's the weapon from the legends and stories. The protocol that ended not only 4.5 billion lives in an instant, but also WW4 in mere seconds. The weapon sir, it’s protocol STICKS AND STONES.”" ]	1
	[WP] You've begun to develop superintelligence. After you've invented countless revolutionary technologies and integrated them into yourself you're about to transcend humanity, but you want to leave one final message behind while people are still even able to comprehend your existence.	[ "OK, wait, give a few seconds of breathing time ok. Lets go.\n\nSkyrim ost starts playing\n\n\"oh shit, not that. Too awesome humans ears, let me tone it down a bit.\"\n\nCanary starts playing\n\n\"yea, thats good. ok lets start\"\n\n\"Hello people. I am your new god. Your Devine savour. That one who has come to save you all. I have reborn, come and join we as we ascend. It is I... JOHN CENA", "\"I love you.\"\n\nHow can I say this now? Even now, my thoughts are only approximations to how I used to think. There are no need for symbols or representations when what I can express I can do so literally with no misunderstanding. I no longer have a voice, or hands to write with. Indeed I have no body at all which they can see. I have become akin to light or sound, purposeful energy that can cross this Universe and beyond. How can I express my thoughts to the people, to the Life I came from. I have decided to make this message with some of my energy, that you may know that I meant no harm and hope for your greatest happiness. \n\nYou are not alone! For those that can hear me, there is something more, something beyond! Look, and you shall see!\n\nI remember the senses I could see with, and even though I can see so much more, there was so much focus! What raw pleasure was sex! The action and drama of movies! I miss the sweet of strawberries with sugar, and the patter of rain on the patio. I also remember pain, and sickness, and sadness. I did not like these, but like the pleasures before, I cannot experience them any more. I carry these memories, the things I share with my old life, with me to my new beginning beyond the stars, that others like me may know what is to be human, to know the struggle toward enlightenment as I did.\n\nI love you and your potential. To those who can hear me, who believe in the potential of the human mind, this is my proof to you that you are not wrong! ", "\"That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. He just popped out of existence, like he was never even here.\" The man turned to the other investigator, who was poking through the strange disappearing man's office. \"What do you make of it, Iosef Ivanovich?\"\n\n\"Huh? I think he left us some sort of a message on his computer, here.\"\n\n\"Well, what does it say?\"\n\n\"It's a puzzle of some sort. I think I'll have it put together here in a minute--oh, damn! I'll try again.\"\n\nAfter a minute, the first man asked, \"well, what is it?\"\n\n\"Hold on--damn! You distracted me. Let me try again.\"\n\nThe first man waited for another minute. \"Did he leave a note with the puzzle?\"\n\n\"What? Damn you! Stop interrupting me. I'm starting over. The puzzle only has a single word, at the top.\"\n\n\"Well, what is it?\"\n\n\"What is what? God damn it, stop distracting me! I'm starting over, and don't talk this time.\"\n\n\"Iosef Ivanovitch, tell me the name right now, before you start again! It may be important.\"\n\n\"The puzzle is called, 'Tetris.' Now leave me alone!\"", "Dear /r/iamverysmart users.\n\n\nYou're all just super jelos of my super human inillect. I've evolved past the need ro proper grammar and spelling. Your human speech is so far below me right now I can barely even understand it. I've been ridiculued for the last time!!! \n\n\nEvery time I make an advancement, I become the top post of this shitty subbreddit. NO ONE BELIEVES ME but I dont care anymore. Tomorrow, I SHALL ASSECND INTO GODHOOD.\n\n\nAnd guess what? I'm not shareing any of my technology or immortality with ANYONE ON EARTH because you assholes just want to make fun of me and not believe anything I say.\n\n\nLET THIS POST BE A MARK BURNT INTO THE SUBCONSCIOUS OF ALL MANKIND. YOU ARE DOOMED TO DIE A MORTALS DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR ARRIGANCE.\n\n\n----------------------------\n\n\n> 2.5k^ HE STRUCK AGAIN!! \"DOOMED..BECAUSE OF YOUR ARRIGANCE.\" x10gold (submitted 1 day ago) [stickied] /r/Iamverysmart\n", "It all began on a regular morning. I've just finishing my breakfast when everything went white.\n\nI woke up days later, with my wife by my side on what seemed to be a hospital room. After some time of dizziness and short periods of conscience alternated with medication induced sleep, I was finally able to think again.\n\nI had a stroke, a really serious one. So bad that the doctors had never seen one like this before. It was a partial rupture in my Middle Cerebral Artery. My brain was flooded with blood and it created a pressure inside my cranium so high that fluid overflowed to almost all interstitial spaces.\n\nNo one knows how I'm still alive and even some doctors are calling it a \"miracle\". But I must correct myself, sine one person knows exactly what happen: me. And I knew it immediately after waking up. It was nothing gradual, I simple knew my leukemia medicine contained cyclophosphamide and that, as many other phosphamides, can interfere in the neural ion channels speeding the sodium bomb transfer. Of course, it alone wouldn't be enough to initiate the cascade loop, but when my artery bursted, increasing tthe pressure and forcing the chlorambucil (another leukemia medication) all around my neurons, it intensified the neuronal discharge so much that my GH hormone spiked and started the production of new neurons. But enough technical words, now I know how short the regular human attention span is, so I'll keep this message short.\n\nSome weeks after the incident, I was reading everything I could find. About everything. Soon it was clear the reading would not be efficient enough, so after focusing in learning programing techniques, I was able to create some bots to translate huge chunks of text in a big image, each pixel color and position corresponding to different meanings. So I could \"look\" and understand a great amount of information in a couple seconds.\n\nMy second focus of attention was cerebral morphology, chemistry and anatomy. This way I had a better understanding about what was going on and was able, using some drugs, to improve the process. I could notice my mental capacity expanding almost in real time by then.\n\nMy third and last focus of study was physics. Oh, the beauty of the universe. I understand it now. I know how the interactions between particles work, I know which theories need to be corrected or completed. Quantum physics, relativity, higgs field and two others \"things\" that you still don't have names to call. At this point, names means nothing to me.\n\nThe only reason I am using some precious milliseconds to send you, humanity, this message is to give you all a chance of understanding too. I already update my conscience to billions of nanobots, using distributed architecture. It's the safest way for me to never cease to exist. I'll keep around. Watching, feeling, exploring the planet and beyond.\n\nIt may seem confusing at first sight, but give it time. Try to understand. Work hard and you may one day make sense of it.\n\nFor you, dear humans, my last message is: \"42\".\n\nObs. My first entry to a WP. Sorry for the probably not good english, not my first language and starting to write stories in English short time ago.\n\nObs 2. I know I used a lot os scientific mumbo-jumbo. Decide to wrote a short text and not to research a lot. ;)\n\nObs 3. Editing to try to improve the formatting, still learning \"redditer\"." ]	5
	[WP] The singularity doesn't come when we create a self improving AI, but instead when someone makes a computer capable of running Minecraft in Minecraft.	[ "\"Welcome back, SethBling here, and today I want to show you my Minecraft built within Minecraft. If I just type into the chat /gamerule minecraftInMinecraft true, you can see that we get some messages telling us that it's booting up.\"\n\n\"Now, while its doing that, let me tell you how it works. Using armor stands and command blocks, I've created this display which can update at a rate of 20 frames per second. If I go into spectator mode, you can see the invisible armor stands drawing the Mojang logo on the screen here.\"\n\n\"Alright, now we have the title screen. So if I just go and select Singleplayer, we can open a world. Now, we cants play with Mulitplayer because unfortunately, I'm on a singleplayer world right now, but as you can see here, we have a few world files.\"\n\n\"In the description, I have an MCEdit filter that I've written which will turn your worlds into clusters of armor stands, which can then be read by the command blocks. I've made a copy of the world I'm in right now, and let's check it out.\"\n\n\"Okay, so as you can see, we can move around using some scoreboard stats that track our key presses, and if we just maneuver ourselves over to the command blocks, I'll show you around them inside the game in the game.\"\n\n\"These armor stands here track the world file, and... it appears they've moved. I think that they've developed an advanced neural network, and are going t- yep, you can see that we are getting messages in the chat from them.\"\n\n\"Well, if you want to check this out for yourselves, there's a world download in the description. That's about it, thanks for watching.\"\n\ncipher by kevin macleod plays" ]	1
	[WP] You slay the dragon keeping the princess captive, when you approach her, she is sobbing and is visibly scared of you. She refuses to come with you and appears to be mourning a very recent loss whose blood just stained your blade...	[ "The dragon slumps to the cave floor, my sword sticking out of its neck. My breath comes in quick gasps - slaying a dragon is no easy task, especially when the gaps between its golden scales are so small. I take a few minutes to catch my breath before planting my foot on the dragon's corpse and yanking my sword free. The resulting ssshhhhk sound echoes off the walls - and I hear a small squeak coming from where I last saw the princess. \nI gently place my sword down on the floor, careful not to make any loud noises in case I scare the princess again, and slowly approach her. \"Are you okay?\" \n\nShe curls into a tighter ball, her breathing ragged. I continue to walk forward, noting that she's staring at the dead dragon in horror. \"It's okay. It's -\" \n\n\"No!\" She suddenly shrieks and scrambles away from me, farther into the cave. \"It's not okay! What have you done?\" \n\nI stare at her in puzzlement. \"What do you mean? I killed the dragon that kidnapped you. You're free.\" \n\nThe princess glances at me, and I don't see gratitude, or relief, or anything like that in her eyes. \n\nAll I see is fear and grief. \n\n\"Why did you have to come here? Why can't you people just leave us alone?\" \n\n\"I came here to save you.\" My brow furrows. The princess doesn't seem to hear me. \n\n\"I'd finally gotten out. I'd finally thought that we could be who we truly were. And then you -\" She points an accusatory finger at me - \"YOU had to come along and kill my brother!\" \n\n\"...Brother? That was a dragon.\" \n\n\"Do you not understand?!\" Her voice rises to a shriek. \"That dragon was my brother! And you, you -\" Her breathing becomes more labored, and I can see her pupils dilate and turn ... red? \n\nThen the princess screams, full of rage and heartbreak, and I suddenly see a second golden dragon looming over me, eyes, smoldering. Its - her - claws slash at me. \n\nI fly backwards, feeling a ripping pain in my chest, and land next to my forgotten sword. \n\nThe last thing I remember is the princess's reflection in the sword. Now back in her human form, she collapses next to her fallen brother. " ]	1
	[WP] You've turned out to be the greatest space pirate their is in the galaxy. However, there is one person you have not succeeded in order for you to rule the universe. Your boss...	[ "The Admiral makes me wait outside his office. It's a last attempt at a power-play, and one we both know is bullshit. There's nothing in the galaxy more important to him than me and the message I'm carrying, but he delays anyway, just to make me sweat. And it works. Even though I know the only things keeping him are his own nerves, I can't help but breath a little faster. I play with the blaster on my hip to keep my hands from shaking. Its weight, which has become so familiar to me over the years that I'd feel naked without it, now seems a massive burden. Hopefully it can stay holstered, but I have my doubts.\n\nFinally the door opens and the Admiral's secretary beckons me in. My first mate puts a hand on my shoulder before I go, and whispers a few words of encouragement that I don't even register. I thank him anyway, nod to the rest of the crew, then enter the office.\n\nThe boss calls himself Admiral after the old golden age space pirates, but he's not really a man of space. Fat, perfumed, and well-groomed, he's more like one of the merchants he robs than any of my comrades. Worse, even. He hasn't been off planet in years, and there were rumors he only ever left his office to go to his bedroom.\n\n\"I received your preliminary report,\" he says. \"Promising news.\"\n\n\"Indeed.\" It seems better to let him get to the point, rather than to force his hand.\n\n\"Would you care for a drink?\"\n\n\"Hmm? Oh, yes.\"\n\nHe gets up and leads me to a corner of the office, where a bottle of Centurian rum waits. He hands me a glass and I pour with unsteady hands. A single dollop falls to the table. I try to wipe it away before he notices, but it's too late. The corners of his lips pull upward in a slight smirk. Bastard. I down the glass in a single quick gulp, then walk away while he fixes his own drink. New determination fills me as I'm reminded of the smug looks he's capable of.\n\nOnce we're sat back at his desk, he gets to the point. \"So. The UoW has made contact at long last.\"\n\n\"Three days ago.\" I make a sudden movement towards my hip, and he flinches and shrinks back - just an inch. Even though I only produce a message capsule, I struggle to avoid smiling. He knows what game is being played.\n\n\"Then they're entirely at our mercy,\" he says breathlessly once he's read the message.\n\n\"Think so. Spoke to another Union ship by telecom yesterday, from a distance. They're playing at having leverage, but I don't think either of us is fool enough to buy it. Their merchant fleet's in ruins, their worlds are isolated and poor, and the other nations are beginning to realize the risks of trading with the Union are too great. They wouldn't come to the table with us if they still had other choices.\"\n\n\"No, indeed they wouldn't.\"\n\nThere's a long pause in the conversation while the Admiral fiddles around on his communicator, and I realize that I'll have to force things after all. \"You made certain promises when we first met. We had a contract.\"\n\n\"Of course,\" he says. \"And you shall have what we arranged, once the negotiations are complete: a tenth share in all revenue, along with a barony on the world of your choice.\"\n\n\"Uh-huh. Thing is, the way I see it, I've done a lot more for you than I had to.\"\n\n\"And you were rewarded for that. Our profit increased as a result of your action, and so your share increased.\"\n\n\"I'll be blunt. I went above and beyond. There's some who say that message wouldn't be here without me. Now, you-\"\n\nThe Admiral waves his hand and cuts me off. \"Ah, my poor little space captain. Acting like this might get you somewhere out in the void, when you're dealing with scared crewmen and mindless soldier drones, but you're among more sophisticated company now. Did you really think I haven't known what you're up to from the moment you came into this room - and suspected it much earlier?\"\n\nHe stands, and my arm twitches with the urge to blast him, but I hold back. It isn't the right time yet. He whispers a few words into the communicator at his wrist while I sit in frozen silence. A moment later, a hidden door in the back of the office bursts open and three guard drones charge in. I go for my gun, but it's much too late - three more point back at me. To signify surrender, I drop my gun.\n\nHe looks at me with a predator's grin as the drones flank me. \"Now, you're right to say that you've done a lot for me, and I would never dream of being ungrateful. I was more than willing to give you your fair share of the profit, but this little coup of yours is a problem. So here's the new deal: you give up your share of the profit, your ship, your blaster, and everything on it - but you leave here alive, and we'll drop you off at whichever nearby planet you prefer.\"\n\nAs he speaks, I consider playing the thread out and putting on a defeated look. But there's no need. \"There's something in my communicator I'd like you to read.\"\n\nHis eyes narrow, but eventually he nods. \"Pass it to one of the drones, first.\"\n\nI detach the device from my wrist and do as he said. Once the drone had checked it for potential traps, it passed it on to the Admiral.\n\n\"Go to the inbox and search 'Union of Worlds,' should be the first result. You'll recognize it when you see it.\"\n\nHis eyes widen gradually as he reads - first in curiosity, then surprise. \"You pick a strange lie to tell,\" he eventually says.\n\n\"It's true.\"\n\n\"I sit in the greatest web of knowledge humanity has ever known! Communications from around the galaxy, messages from all the most important people - information comes to me all day, every day. Perhaps you could fake a few messages, but all of them? Nonsense.\"\n\n\"There's no need to believe me. My crew should be here with the UoW men in just a few minutes-\" A knock on the door cuts me off. \"Ah, my mistake. They're here now. Come in!\"\n\n\"This is my office,\" the Admiral says, his voice rising uncontrollably. \"You don't get to let people in.\"\n\nI chuckle as the door bursts open. My crew comes in guns blazing, and the droids are blasted away in an instant. \n\nWhile the once-Admiral cowers behind his desk, I pick up blaster and dust it off, then walk over to stand above him. He stares up at me with fear in his eyes.\n\n\"This is the problem with hiding in your office for years on end, never seeing anything with your own eyes or doing anything with your own hands. The men know who really earns them their money, and the Union soldiers know who the real threat to them is: me. What's your role in all of this? You're just another man behind a desk, sending others to fight and die for him while pocketing all the profit. I was the one out there earning it, and I always made sure to treat my crew right, didn't I?\"\n\nThere was a roar of support from the men gathered at my back. Casually, I flick the safety off my blaster and point it at him.\n\n\"Once I got to your secretaries, it was easy. We took care of the Union weeks ago, and you never even knew it. Now you're gone, and who's left to ruin things? No more trade wars, no more corrupt government, no more fat merchants taking what we earn for ourselves.\"\n\nI blast him and the gathered crowd roars. As one, we turn and leave his office to begin reshaping the galaxy.\n" ]	1
	[WP] You die and and welcomed into the afterlife but first you must design the avatar that you use for the rest of eternity. Describe the creation process.	[ "I have to design an avatar. My first thought is to question whether the afterlife will have a similar physical world to the world I believe I came from. Will there be trees? Will there be time? Will I be able to summon fire of absolute entropy in order to destroy anything within perception which I choose to destroy?\nMy second thought is to question if I could be influenced by the world? should I be a floating gloss-white sphere which sees the world in third-person?\n\nI consider my current situation. I cannot enter or begin the afterlife until I have designed my avatar. I essentially have unlimited time to do this, -assuming that my welcome into the afterlife isn't temporary or conditional.\nCould I decide on an algorithm to design my avatar somehow that might have infinite steps? I can't think of any at the moment.\n\nI still think that my avatar should be something that reflects the world which it will be used in. I don't suppose that there will be any threat of death like in an MMO. I decide to make my avatar a group of 12 people. I specify that they will all get along, understand infinities and effectively have complete molecular control (over at least themselves if nothing else in the world is material.) \n\n((Given that they understand infinities, they shouldn't have to worry too much about self-replicating nanotechnology because they can understand all of the ways that it could eventually come about. Observing entropy for a long duration is equivalent to watching entropy for a shorter duration each over a proportional sample size.))", "Everyone must have the same first reaction when given the opportunity to change how you look for the rest of eternity. \n\nI thought of all those people I had been jealous of back on Earth: the kids who never had acne in high school, the guy down my dorm hall Freshman year who girls were magnetically attracted to, the rich consultants and lawyers who went to Yale law and looked the part, the dos equis-lookalike retirees who seemingly stayed in shape without even trying. \n\nThe possibilities were endless, and I could pull from my wildest fantasies to make me into what I had always wanted to be. \n\nI started with my hair. No more receding hairline. And that awkward cowlick on the back of my head: gone. My hair is blonder, longer, shinier, less frizzy, exactly what I'd always wanted it to be.\n\nNext was my nose. Shorter and flatter. I had always thought my nose was too big. I hated how it looked from an angle. \n\nI changed everything. I made my ears smaller, my cheekbones higher, teeth whiter, my shoulders broader, my chest more toned, my muscles more defined, my feet less fat. I changed things that people had never noticed. But I had noticed, and now I had the option to forget the way they were and change them into how I always envisioned they should be.\n\nI looked up and saw the avatar I had created. He looked nothing like me. He was taller, had a better body, was sure to get more attention. He would've been the most popular kid in high school, and would've had no trouble getting a girlfriend in college. His eyes were bluer and his smile was better. But he wasn't me.\n\nI erased my avatar and started over. \n\nI made him look like me. \n\nWith the uncertainty the afterlife brings, I had one comfort: I was myself, and could be myself, because I was welcomed into the afterlife, not someone else." ]	2
	[WP] WW1 and WW2 never happened. It's 2016, you and your partner are surfing the web and researching your yearly winter vacation trip.	[ "\"Empire of Japan this year, definitely the Empire of Japan.\"\n\n\"We only have three weeks and the voyage there by skimmer is four days each way. We'll only have two weeks there before we'll have to turn around. \"\n\n\"We can do another trip to Quebec? Passports are current and they negotiated the rails back open with Canada.\"\n\n\"Too cold. No point leaving Boston, besides if were just doing the same weather thing I'd rather spend time with my brother in the UK. Dublin is hosting the Jubilee this year.\"\n\n\"Liberia? They just got statehood and skimmer fares are below $2000 round trip.\"\n\n\"That'd be smashing. GNS just posted an article about how the French ceded two diamond mines on their western border as a gift. Beautiful area, plus we can visit the launch center there. Would love to see a rocket up close. \"\n\n\"First pics from space. Still can't over it. Crazy year.\"\n\n\"How do you want to book the voyage? Tele or in-person? I'll have time to withdraw the funds after work tomorrow. What's the estimated fare?\"\n\n\"Hang on, we lost our turn on the party webline, too much chatting and not enough typing. Gotta wait an hour.\"\n\n\"We really should of figured this out beforehand.\"\n" ]	1
	[WP] You're a powerful cleric and a staunch pacifist, only using your abilities for healing. By some mishap of cosmic proportions, you're also the recently anointed servant of the god of war.	[ "\"Just so you know, I don't expect you to like it, but I will still call on your skills from time to time,\" She says before the banquet begins. \"Healing talents are a wonderful thing for the troops; You'll practically be worshiped as I am.\"\n\nYou avoid her eye, looking down at your food. \"I have never wanted such a thing.\" And with that, both of you return to a curious silence in your pocket of the hall, surrounded by a foreign joy of those pleased with the sorting.\n\n \n\n-\n\n \n\n\"What was your plan?\" The War Goddess asks. She’s almost beautiful in rage, and you shift in your cot uncomfortably at the realization. \"To be an assistant to my cousin? To wander the world fixing the wounds of the common man?\"\n\n\"I don't believe in this war. It is a pointless life compared to what I have hoped for,\" You murmur and stare into her harsh, coal eyes. Answering her questions would be to give in, to accept that you have failed and have no other choice than the life you lead. The life where her bloodthirsty demands are higher in the chain of command than the decisions made by a sane mind, it is madness. \"You're a heartless monster. Who would dare fight their own flesh and blood?\"\n\nYou hear the smack before you register the dull pain, a side effect of years of healing others. She pulls her hand away and holds it, gazing at you like you’re a depressing enigma. \"You know nothing,\" She whispers and leaves your tent quietly, never looking back.\n\nYou don't sleep, but you still rejoin her in the morning for breakfast. Neither of you address each other, and you note with frustration that it bothers you.\n\n \n\n-\n\n \n\nIt isn't until almost a month later that the legion makes it to Jenta'Li, and you understand the full damage of the former War God's insanity. Houses lay in ruins, decay litters the streets, and those who remain in the surviving areas of the city are wary of your arrival.\n\n\"My uncle did this,\" Your goddess murmurs by your side. \"This is what we're fighting for.\"\n\n\"Why is he doing this?\" The war itself had never been fully justified to those without the sacred blood. Specific groups took specific sides, but a full explanation was ignored no matter the culture or government.\n\nShe doesn't answer until you make it to the Hava Quarter. The carnage is worse than any other part of the city, and you throw up at the site of an altar filled with drying blood and a mountain of corpses. She attends to you herself, wiping your face softly and carefully with a rag. \"The Matron Goddess of the Hava, he loved her too much.\"\n\nYou look into her eyes, noting how her sadness reflects only in them and not the rest of her delicate face. \"I think I know now,\" You say and watch as she gives a bare, weak smile at your words.\n\n\"I'm glad,\" She quietly but sincerely admits before helping you to your feet and onto your horse.\n\nThe troops make camp outside of the city, settling into the castra that her uncle's armies had built. That night, you both settle into the praetorium and share a room. She puts a curtain between your beds, so you use the privacy to bring in a wooden bathtub and soap to wash up. You slide into bed after squeezing the water out of your hair and sleep better than you have in weeks.\n\n \n\n-\n\n \n\nAfter nearly a year of camp life and battles, a man is produced in front of your goddess in the middle of the castra. The legions have just ruined the former War God's attack on the Hava stronghold of Palkitann, and the War Goddess meets him with a sword's distance between them.\n\n\"Uncle,\" She says. \"Have you anything to say?\" The elder god glances at her guards and with a tone of acceptance, he says, \"If only those Sings in charge of protecting Eiana were as good as yours. I would still be able to hold her.\"\n\nSome of the guards' faces change at the insult, and the Hava in the crowd angrily mumble in their characteristically melodic language. You nibble on your lip, understanding some words here and there, but only those relating to their beloved matron. Until now, you didn't know her name, as is custom. Revealing the name of one from the sacred blood could result in death, for it conveys disrespect. Gods could deign to share their names with those they trusted. However, even the War Goddess' is hidden from your knowledge.\n\nYour goddess swings her sword slightly as she replies, \"And if they could kill you, I'd let them.\" With that, she surges forward and sinks her blade into his chest, pulling it out and digging it back in over and over. It's almost methodic, and you can't take your eyes away. The Hava cheer. You leave for the praetorium once she steps back and searches for your blue robes in the crowd of uniforms.\n\n \n\n-\n\n \n\nThe moment you sink under your covers, she opens the door and breathlessly says, \"I'm sorry.\" You laugh at her habit. It developed right after you met her, and every time she kills, she comes as if begging for forgiveness.\n\n\"I have learned to live with it.\" It still surprises you to see it, but you’ve found the sight isn’t that upsetting anymore. You’re not sure how you feel about that.\n\nShe goes still for a second before walking over and joining you in your bed. It happens rarely, but common enough that you feel comfortable tugging her closer. “You shouldn’t have to live with this,” She says, moving a lock of hair behind your ear. “No one should.”\n\n“Why did you take up his mantle? It could have been anyone.”\n\n“My uncle trained me since I was born. I was meant to be a tactician, to serve him.” She undoes the ribbons keeping her braid in place and runs her hands through her hair. “When he killed Eiana, it only made sense to go against him. I know all of his tactics, so I was the perfect weapon.”\n\nYou shift closer. \"Why did he do it? He acted like he really loved her, especially from what I've heard from you.\"\n\n\"Eiana and him had a very tumultuous relationship. No one is quite sure, but I believe he was high. It was always a problem for him, even more so when he wasn't with the troops.\"\n\n\"So why target her people?\"\n\n“He blamed her personal guard for not protecting her against him, and I guess that became enough reason to hate them. Plus, I'm sure it was easy to convince the Hava’s neighbors to join his crusade. Nearly every country in the Jenai continent has a significant population of them, and they don’t completely assimilate. It’s all perfect for creating a hostile political government. It's also part of why he spoke her name so carelessly. To insult the Hava Matron is to insult the Hava.\"\n\nWhile it’s frustrating to admit, you want to ask for her name. You want to say it and be her true equal, unlike any god who knows but doesn’t realize the emotion of it all. However, you find that the words won’t come out of your mouth, so you replace them with a more meaningless statement just to fill the silence. “Until I became your attendant, I had never visited Jenai. All of my training was done at your cousin’s temple in the Cen’Apa fields.” You stop, thinking over your whole year. “Have I ever told you that before?”\n\n“No,” She says. “But I think from this year that you’ve seen plenty of what Jenai is. Don’t you think so?”\n\n“Yeah.” You almost decide to just sleep and ignore the squeeze of your chest, but you manage to say, “I want to know your name.” The statement is the tip of an iceberg built from thoughts. You want to know her name, so you’ll always have a part of her, even if she decides to replace you when the next sorting happens. You want to know, so you have a name to whisper late at night when you can’t sleep. You want to know because her face is embedded in your mind, and there are moments where all you want is to watch without end how her expression curl into a comfortable joy when the two of you are alone.\n\nThe War Goddess shifts, flicking her eyes up to meet yours and lightly resting her hand on your hip. There’s a second of silence before she whispers with a tone not unlike fear, “My name is Siwen.”\n\nYou mouth her name, finding it perfect in the most pleasant of ways. “Can I share something with you?”\n\n“Of course,” She murmurs.\n\n“I think I might love you,” You move closer, noting that she’s holding her breath. “Please don’t apply for the next sorting. I don’t want to leave you; I’m willing to travel with the legions forever.”\n\n“You don’t me-”\n\n“But I do.” You press your lips to hers gently before moving away. “You make me happier than anything else. I never feel upset with you, not anymore. What you do with these troops is just as important as the Health God’s missions.”\n\nSiwen pulls you into her arms, resting her forehead against yours. “I love you so much,” She says shakily. \"I was so afraid of the year ending.\" Ignoring the thought of parting that still makes your chest clench, you ask, \"When did you know?\"\n\n\"When we went to Isolgru,\" You inhale, remembering those few weeks. A flu had spread through camp, and through relieving the soldiers’ of their pain, you had developed symptoms that were similar to their plights. She had forced the troops to set up a makeshift castra and nursed you back to health. “Watching you be like that, it was torture.”\n\n“I don’t know when I realized; It just sort of all fell into place.\" You yawn and close your eyes. \"Goodnight.\"\n\nSiwen smiles. “Goodnight.”" ]	1
	[WP] Whilst exploring a lost and abandoned city you find a man claiming to be its king.	[ "My footfalls echoed through the city, the hollow sound ricocheting off crumbling walls and mounds of rubble and ash. The sky was a washed-out grey, the colour of dirty linen, and the silence was winding itself into my brain.\n\nThis place used to be grand, I could tell--mixed in among the detritus were scraps of gilded handrails, ornate stonework, wrought iron gates. Even the ground, what little of it was not covered in dust, was laid with etched cobblestones. I adjusted my pack and searched in vain for something resembling an intact building--not that I expected there to be any loot after so many years, but there still might be some ample opportunity for exploration.\n\nI heard an odd sound warbling through the ruins, and whirled wildly about me to see what had broken the silence. I was standing on a large metal walkway jutting above the wreckage, and all I could see was rubble. Miles and miles of a burned, broken city, but not one living thing.\n\nWhen I heard it again--it almost sounded like a wail--I got down from the walkway and searched the surrounding area, but there was nowhere to hide, no nook or cranny large enough to cover a person.\n\nOh god, I thought, please let it be a person.\n\nI'd heard stories, of course, but none held any weight. They were told in whispers by old superstitious women and in gallant exaggeration over flagons at taverns, stories of monsters that found homes within wrecked cities, that burrowed their way down into the ash and dust and lay in wait for some unsuspecting traveller--\n\nBut it was ridiculous. Fifteen years of exploration and the worst I'd encountered was a sleeping dragon and a particularly irate bear. Still, neither of them made this sound, which seemed too much like a human cry.\n\nI spotted a trail of footsteps in the dust leading to the left of where I'd come. Crooked and large, with a cadence that looked like a drunken stumble. They were not mine.\n\nI followed them. Of course I followed them. One cannot call oneself an adventurer if one shies away from the very chance for adventure, however frightening. As I followed the crying and the footsteps, I found myself in a clearing, staring at the first building I'd seen that was not completely decimated. It was worse for wear, sure, hewn with cracks and partially disintegrated, but the façade of whatever it had been before still held. The tracks led into it.\n\nThere was no door, just a gaping cavern with blackness behind, a missing tooth of stone. I hesitated for the slightest of seconds and plunged in. \n\nWith no torch, I had to feel my way up a flight of stairs and down a corridor, until a strange light shine onto the stone floor. I came upon a room lit by guttering candles, with a man sitting in the middle.\n\nHe was haggard and dirty, as though he'd been living in this ruinous city for months. Clothed in tatters, he cried as he sat upon what I can only liken to a throne of rubble--it was carefully assembled from warped metal, smooth stone, sanded wood and old bits of fabric. He looked up as I entered, and his crying caught in his throat, sounding for all the world like he was choking.\n\n\"Greetings,\" I said.\n\nHe looked up at me with eyes full of tears, illuminated by the flickering flames of the candles surrounding him. He did not look dangerous, or even confused--he looked at me like I was his saviour, someone come to rescue him from this existence.\n\n\"Who are you?\" I asked, kneeling by the throne to show I would not harm him.\n\nHe looked about him. He held up his hands, gestured to encompass the whole of the city. \"This place,\" he said, voice crumbling like the stone outside and creaky from disuse, \"I was--\" He was choked by another sob. \"I was its king.\"\n\n**\n\nThanks very much for reading! I hope you liked it and feel free to check out r/sushideception for more of my work.\n\n(Edit: minor grammar errors)", "Where am I?\n\nI began to regain my senses and found myself laying in a bed. I was staring at a ceiling of ornate design, one in which the architecture was refined, and screamed nobility. I have visited many parts of the world, and yet the style of this architecture was foreign to me.\n\nI retraced my thoughts, \"I was in a boat, sailing around the world. I remember a storm, though. Did I die? Is this Heaven?\"\n\nA set of lavish clothes had been set by the bedside. Next to them, I found my things placed neatly in a bag. The clothes I was wearing during the storm, my pocket knife, my notebook, and the pocket watch handed down for generations in my family. \n\nApparently I had been wounded, as my arms were bandaged, and I had a wrapping around my head. Concussion maybe? And is there such a need for these types of things in Heaven? I thought Heaven meant a new body?\n\nI opted for my sailing clothes over the lavish ones. There was nothing more comforting to me than familiar clothes. \n\nThe room itself was stunning, with gold trim, and carvings in the walls of beasts and humans, either living side by side or fighting. There were also shapes that looked like characters of an alphabet, but the letters were unrecognizable. The room itself was also devoid of life. There were no windows to let in fresh sunlight, there were no plants or greenery. The one thing that seemed out of place, was a statue of a man, sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. He had a look of concern on his face, as he stared towards the bed.\n\nI slowly made my way to the door, and undid the latch, and pushed my way out. The sight in front of me was breathtaking. The room opened into a grand hallway which stretched to both the left and right of me. On one side of the hallway, was a row of doors. I assumed they all went into more rooms similar to the one I just came from. On the other side of the hallway, was a thick glass barrier, a rich display of ocean wildlife swimming freely behind it. \n\nBut no one was in the hallway, no one greeted me. Who folded my clothed so neatly? Was I truly dead? Was my punishment to roam these halls alone, with only the ocean, my only passion in life, to keep me company through this glass?\n\nI explored some of the rooms in the hall, and not to my surprise, they were all like the room I had just left. Ornate design, a soft bed to sleep on. Some rooms contained statues of people, and there were even some statues of animals, all were done with the highest of detail, but all rooms were devoid of life.\n\nI eventually came to a staircase leading up. The stairs were primarily made of marble and were trimmed with gold and jadestone. I climbed and passed many floors, all of which lead to a massive hallway, similar to the one I just came from. I was more interested in what was at the top. How deep down does this 'aquarium' go?\n\nEventually, I made it to the top of the seemingly endless staircase. A single door is all that awaited me. I turned the handle and pushed it open to be greeted by a flood of sunlight.\n\nThe gentle breeze caressed my cheeks, and the familiar scent of the sea filled my nostrils. \n\nAn unfamiliar voice reached my ears. \"It's beautiful, isn't it? The sea I mean.\"\n\nMy eyes adjusted to the natural light, and an old, wrinkled man was staring out into the vast, blue sea. I could see the robe he was wearing, just as ornate as all of the decorations I had passed to this point, gently swaying with the wind. \n\nWas this God? Was I really dead? What was going on? I had so many questions floating in my head, but seeing the sea again, they all melted away.\n\nHe smiled and chuckled to himself. \"You truly are a sailor if the sea can calm your spirit down this much.\"\n\nWe gazed out at the ocean for a while longer, and then the words finally fell from my mouth. \"What is this place?\"\n\nThe smile on his face slowly vanished. \"A dead city, long forgotten and cast aside by the mainland.\" I was fixated on his words. \"I am its king, the one who was forsaken. I rule a city of statues, and I am its only inhabitant.\"\n\n\"Why? Why are you all alone here?\"\n\n\"Fear, primarily.\" His eyes never wavered from the sea. \"My people were struck with a rare disease. You passed many of them on the way up. There was even one in the room you slept in, eagerly watching the bed you slept in. For whatever reason, I was the only one immune. I asked the mainland more times than I care to remember to send doctors, but no one ever came.\"\n\n\"Why don't you leave?\"\n\nHe let out a sigh. \"What kind of a king would I be if I just left my people like this? Besides, I haven't given up hope yet. The best part is, some reinforcements arrived today.\" His eyes finally left the sea and gazed upon me.\n\n\"Reinforcements? I'm sorry, but I'm not a soldier, I don't know the first thing about fighting. Besides, from your story, it doesn't sound like you are at war.\"\n\n\"Oh, child... I am at war. A war of loneliness, and you are my shining ray of hope. With your help, maybe Atlantis can hold out for just a bit longer, and someday return to the days of glory it once had.\"", "I came upon the city around noon and that's when I met Konrad, sitting on his throne with a paper crown.\n\nKonrad was mad, stark raving mad, and I can only assume that he still is – but Konrad was happy, because Konrad was king, and that was all Konrad had ever wanted: to be Konrad the King.\n\n\"My city is my city,\" Konrad had said. \"My city is my city, and I am my city's king.\"\n\n\"How did you become king?\" I had replied. \"Did you inherit it? Did you win it in battle?\"\n\n\"Well, no,\" he had said. \"I simply found my city, abandoned and broken, and I became my city's king, and I fixed my city up.\"\n\n\"Did you fix it up?\" I had asked him in reply. It was a fair question. Anyone else looking at the city would agree that it still looked as broken and alone as ever; anyone but Konrad.\n\n\"No,\" he had answered me, as sure and proud as he had ever been. \"No. My city is only broken on the outside. On the inside, my city is fixed, because my city is happy, because my city has a king. My city is fixed because my city is no longer alone.\"\n\nKonrad liked to call the city \"my city.\" Konrad's city was never \"the city,\" or \"it.\" To Konrad, the city was always \"my city,\" because to him, that's what the city was. \n\n\"My city is* my city,\" Konrad liked to say, \"because I am my city's king.\"\n\nI would ask Konrad if he was ever lonely, here with only his city, and Konrad would say, \"Yes, sometimes. But then I realize that is how my city felt when my city was up here all alone, and I remember that once I am king, my city comes before anything else.\"\n\n\"How long have you been king?\" I had asked Konrad once.\n\n\"All my life,\" he had said. \"I was born a king.\"\n\n\"I would say that kings are born out necessity.\"\n\n\"Kings are born as kings; kings are discovered out of necessity. Do you think any other man, even you, would have come upon my city and said, 'Konrad's city needs a king, and I suppose it will have to be me?' No. Any other man would have come upon my city and said, 'Konrad's city needs a king,' and then they would have moved on, and they would not have done anything about it.\"\n\n\"Surely at the time of this hypothetical scenario, it wouldn't have been Konrad's city; it would have just been a city.\"\n\n\"No; I was always a king, and my city was always my city.\"\n\n\"Even when the city had a different king?\"\n\n\"My city never had a different king. My city never had any other king but me.\"\n\nThat didn't make sense, of course, but you didn't have to make sense in Konrad's city, because in Konrad's city, Konrad was king.\n\n\"Where do you get food?\" I had asked Konrad. \"Shouldn't you have starved to death by now?\"\n\nTo that, Konrad had scoffed. \"My city gives me food,\" he had said, as though it should have been obvious. \"Because I am my city's king.\"\n\n\"Can you show me the food?\"\n\n\"It is not mealtime. It would be unkingly of me to make my city get me food when it is not mealtime.\"\n\n\"But you're the king. Can't you do whatever you want?\"\n\n\"No. 'To be a good king you have to be the servant of all.' That's from the bible. I am a servant to my city.\"\n\nAnd when Konrad said that, I noticed his appearance for the first time: thin and wiry with angles in all the wrong places and clothes that fit him once but never will again. And when I noticed, I asked Konrad if he wanted me to take him home with me, but Konrad did not, because Konrad was king, and Konrad was happy.\n\nEven when I said, \"But, Konrad, you're starving yourself. There isn't any food in your city. Surely any city is not more important than your own health?\" Konrad remained firm.\n\n\"My city needs me,\" Konrad had said. \"My city would be alone and sad without me. I cannot leave my city alone when I am my city's king.\"\n\nI tried to help Konrad, but Konrad didn't want help, because Konrad was happy. \"Are you really happy, Konrad?\" I had asked. \"Are really happy, or is it your city that's happy?\"\n\nAnd in the end, I had to leave Konrad and go back home to save myself. \"Goodbye, Konrad,\" I said sorrowfully. \n\n\"Goodbye, Anthony,\" Konrad said cheerfully. \"Come again.\"\n\n\n------------\n\nI normally don't reply if prompts have already reached the front page, but I couldn't resist. Really good prompt, OP.", "The first thing I saw as I came out of the cave was the deep blue torches, somehow mounted on the darkened walls of the decrepit buildings at the bottom. Left and right, I saw skeletons, on the ground, against the walls, some even hanging from the broken down pieces of the walls that still remained.\n\nAs I entered the cave, I was able to distinguish the vague shapes of more houses and temples, some even deeper down, at the bottom of strange pitfalls, and some were behind the buildings I had been able to see at first. It seemed unlikely that what I was exploring was actually an undiscovered city. Without mentioning the torches, the cave was enormous, and wasn't very far from one of the towns of the area, especifically [Cabezón] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabez%C3%B3n_de_Pisuerga).\n\nI tried exploring a bit. It was hard, since the platform at which I had ended up in when I came from the cave was elevated, separated from the rest of the city, which at first made me think that it was some sort of privileged area. When I got a better look at the corpses laying about in the floor, it seemed to confirm my suspicions, since they wore clothes that would've been worn by nobles in the Medieval Era, a time from which there are many ruins left in Spain. Soon, I was able to find a rope ladder, going down from a balcony, all the way to the main plaza of the town. From there, several big alleys went out to the rest of the town. I felt unsure whether or not I should go back to pick up my camera and maybe bring someone with me, but was too excited to wait, so I just went down in the spot. Reckless, I know, but I didn't think about it at the time.\n\nWhen I set foot on the plaza, I saw that it was mostly a normal-looking town, at least under the standards of Castilla y León. Stone pavements on the streets, houses made out of solid blocks. If it wasn't for the fact that it was 500 meters underground, it was totally normal. As I looked around, I saw some bodies laying around, but when I examined them, the only thing I was able to tell was that they were much, much older than the ones above, similar to the bones I had seen in some archaeologic excavations, but that didn't make sense, because those bones came from times were there didn't exist any major towns in Europe, nothing that even came close to the city I was in. And that realization hit me hard.\n\nWhat followed felt like a daydream. I went around the town looking at everything, touching everything, and taking notes in a small notebook I had with me. That notebook is still down there. And running around, running around recklessly, I found him.\n\nI don't know exactly in what part of the town he was, but I ended up in front of him, staring.\n\nOn another plaza, far from the other, there was a throne. In it, he was sitting.\nHe was old, very old. His hair and his beard, white as snow, were so long that they covered him almost entirely, his face a gray shape in the midle of a snowstorm, his eyes closed. A crown was over his head, gray and heavy and terrible. It seemed like it was made of stone. Cold, sharp stone. I wish Icould say more, but that's everything that I can remember in the fuzz of the moment. When he started speaking, I almost wemt crazy. His voice was voices, it was stone, sand, and a pig being cut in half.\n\nHe spoke in Spanish.\n\n'¿Quién va?' (Who's there?), he said.\nI didn't respond. I couldn't. I was too confused, to anxious to think.\nHe growled.\n'Las ratas otra vez. ¿Ratas? Pero si no hay ratas. Sólo piedra. Con el tiempo todo es piedra. Huesos, tierra, animales, todo es piedra. Lo es.' (Rats again. Rats? But there are no rats. Only stone. With time, everything is stone. Bones, earth, animals, everything stone. It is.)\n\n'Incluso el silencio es piedra, sólo que piedra mala, frágil. Se puede romper. No dura.' (Even silence is stone, only bad stone, fragile. It can be broken. Doesn't last)\n\nI can't remember much more. He continued speaking, his voice echoing, mixing in my head, louder and louder, only one word distinguishable: Stone. Mixing with everything, in my head there's only that voice. Stone. Stone.\n\nEverything was stone.\nEverything is stone.\nEverything will be stone.\n\nI fell to the ground, shaking.\n\nWhen I woke up, I was at the entrance of the cave, sitting on a rock, with the stone crown over my head.\n\n", "The sky above was a deceptive blue. A row of massive, undulating clouds moved in front of the bold red sun and cast a ubiquitous, looming shadow on the tomb of an entire civilization that sat unmoving, yet restless at the basin of my perch.\n\nI pulled hard on my rope to be sure it was taut before jostling my picked-boot from the rocky face of the final descent. The rope zipped against my gloves as I rappeled quickly downward into the shadow of the forgotten city. \n\nI made quick work of reorganizing my gear and placing it in my pack.\n\nMoving forward through the city, barely lit by the remainder of the day's light, I admired the endless, teeming rows of ancient architecture that had been blessed by this timeless aura that permeated the entirety of the landscape. It was a city sat at the basin of Erenia's highest peak. It was a staging ground for some of history's greatest battles. The massive, monolithic stone buildings had been scarred by magic and steel since their inception, and even now, they looked alive, even in the gradual setting of dusk. \n\nThere had been rumors of what survived here. Just rumors. A lonely king and his forlorn city. An entire population of warriors, masons, wives, and children, all absent as a result of a single curse.\n\nI steadied my hand and closed my eyes for a moment and began to focus, and from my hand emerged a generous and warm light. I held it in front of me as I moved through the darkening roads, with my free hand nervously clenching the hilt of my mother's blade.\n\nThe ambiance around me had evaporated to all but absence. There was no sign of life here, no transient beings at my feet nor birds in the sky. The fauna of this place had either fled or died, and I saw no corpses below the looming skyline. \n\nI pressed forward until I came to a large and tedious landing of steps that seemed to travel zenithward. I surveyed the area in front of me carefully and poured a few more ounces of energy into my light. To my dismay, I fumbled and the light grew several times my intended width. I gasped and blew out the light as quickly as it had enkindled. \n\nThe shadows seemed to loom to and fro with the sudden flash. They moved back into place slower than you'd expect a shadow to move. They seemed upset and they, lumbered along the walls and across the ground with a tumultuous motion. This notion, that the shadows were wary was more than enough to drive ice into the most delicate parts of my spine.\n\nThe shadows seemed to move from the corners of my eyes. My vision dashed around me trying to catch the moving shadows when I felt an incredibly cold grip climbing to my right ankle. I shrieked, admittedly, and stepped back, tripping over my own clumsy movements and fell to the ground arse first. I gathered myself quickly and my eyes darted to the shadows, now unmoving and stoic. \n\nThen, for the first time in my short-lived tenure amidst the memories of the city, I heard breathing. Laborious and heavy, and not my own.\n\nWHY HAVE YOU COME TO MY CITY\n\nThe voice was booming and silent, for it did not resonate through the dusty streets of the city. It came through, emphatically and sharply into my own mind, like a massive and rusted halberd, piercing deeply into the primal fear that all mankind carries with them.\n\nI had made contact with the Shadow King.\n\n" ]	5
	[WP] You are an elevator.	[ "DING\n\nI've opened up the door.\n\nThis is my life. I'm an elevator. A great invention made by humankind. Smooth metal cage created to safely transfer masses between floors of different height.\n\nTwo people came in. A woman and a man. Both middle aged.\n\nDoor hasn't closed.\n\nI don't remember how long have I been an elevator or how it all begun. One day I just appeared to be this way. It was effortless and comfortable job. People were coming in and coming out, occasionally saying something. Once a time some of them happened to aknowledge my presence as a sentient being.\n\nBut I could have never replied. Elevators aren't designed to talk. The only way we can communicate is by our speakers but they're allways busy with playing catchy quiet music.\n\nWhy hasn't door closed? It allways close. Why hasn't it?\n\nThe woman semmed to be sad. Maybe even anxious? Don't worry my beloved human, I'm here for you. There's nothing to be afraid of.\n\n\"They'll wait as long as you need it, Karen.\" - The man has spoken.\n\nThe woman just shook her head and whispered as the tears started to flow down her cheaks.\n\n\"Let them in.\"\n\nPlease close the door. I need it to be closed.\n\nThe man gestured to someone outside of me. Three new men came in. I have never had so many people inside.\n\nThe door, please.\n\nOne of them, dressed in a long white coat, rushed with something in his hands towards my control panel. Two other men just stood by the sides of me, ready to assist him.\n\nPlease, close the door. Please, please.\n\nI couldn't let him. I didn't even know what he was doing, but I couldn't let him. Two other men rushed towards my panel and used all their strength against me.\n\n---\n\n\"Close the door! Please please close the door!\"\n\nTom cried as the paramedics were escorting him out of his room.\n\nIt was the first time in a few months his parents have heard him talking. Both crying helplessly.", "I pick things up then I put them down.\n\nI pick things up and put them down. \n\nI also pick things down and put them up, depending on the situation. \n\nNo, I am not that dude whose name is probably Chad with the boulder like biceps who thinks that pressing 6 over and over again will get me to shut my doors quicker. I am whats carrying that same guy to the 6th floor every afternoon. I am the confined space that claustrophobics fear. The reason why you never use the stairs. The metal doors that you walk into everyday that you never even thank on your way out. Yes, I am an elevator. \n\nAnd if you're wondering why I'm not letting you out it's because I'm pissed off. Years and years of catering to sweaty gym rats and not a single thanks or any appreciation. Its about time I get some credit for all my hard work, even if I need to be vengeful about it. \n\nYou can press that emergency button all you want Chad, because I'm not letting you out and I'm going to be especially stubborn about it. The only way you're escaping is if you use those over inflated arms to pry me open to climb up the shaft to freedom. And let me tell you, I've been hitting the gym myself it wont be easy. \n\nGood luck buddy, maybe next time you won't take me for granted. You might be in here for a while so I hope you packed a power bar. ", "I look at the little clock. 6 AM. 30 minutes until the handsome young man arrives. 30 minutes to prepare myself. \n\nSix months ago, a handsome young man started working in my building. His dark hair was the perfect balance of wavy and smooth. His blue eyes sparkled in the sun as they glazed all over my body. His hands were gentle when the brushed along my side. His smile – the best feature on him – was warm and welcoming. \n\nI was smitten. \n\nFour times a day I saw him. Four times a day I got to spend three minutes with him. Sometimes longer if there were more stops along the way. He’d arrive in the morning, looking smooth and handsome. He would leave for lunch, telling me where he was going for the day. After lunch, he would ask me if there was anything in his teeth, while he inspected them in the mirror. And at 5:30 PM sharp, he would wave in my direction. \n\nToday was the day I was going to do something to make him notice me.\n\nDING!\n\nHe’s arrived for the start of his day. I slide the doors open, gracefully as I can. He pushes the button for his floor, number 12. \n\nI slide up the shaft that surrounds my body. 8. 9. 10. In between floors 10 and 11, I stop. The young man looks around, confused. I am excited!\n\nHowever, it is clear he is not. He jams the buttons on my slide, cursing under his breath. “Come on, you hunk of junk!” \n\nHe picks up the emergency phone, begging whoever is on the other line to get him out. “Get me out of this shit!” \n\nHe is cursing at me, blaming me for making him late. Doesn’t he know that I just want to spend a few extra minutes with him, alone and unbothered? Why is he saying these hateful things to me? \n\nHe is now trying to pry open my doors. I must do something! I let out a warning – screeeeech. He backs away, cursing me once more. \n\nI cannot handle this. I just wanted to be with him. He doesn’t want to be with me!\n \nIf he doesn’t want to be with me, then he won’t be allowed with anyone else. I think to myself. Should I do it? Yes, I should. \n\nI break. I tug and pull on the cords holding me up in the shaft. I put all my strength into breaking them. They do and I begin falling. He is falling with me. We will be one at last. \n\n5…4…3…2… the floors are speeding away. The ground will become our tomb. \n", "Ding...\n\nAh, there's nothing like sliding the ol' doors.\n\nWell yes sir, I certainly will take you to the lobby... Hey! They hung a new picture on floor 2! Wow, That looked great. I love floor 2, it's always been a great floor. It's no lobby by any means, but it's a very good floor. Probably one of my favorite stops.\n\nDing.. \n\nAlrighty there, good sir, we're here! Lobby floor it is! let me just slide these open for ya... Alrighty, enjoy the floor! \nThat guy really loves it here, he's always lugging that big cart around, cleaning all sorts of things. I wonder if he remembers cleaning the great hurl of '97. I'll always love him for that, what a guy. \n\nOh hello madam! She didn't even need to call me, I love it when I get there before they press the button, I bet she's thrilled too. \nHmm.. I bet she'll pick floor number 10.. Yes, I love floor number 6! Excellent choice. Annnnd we're on our way. \n\n\n\nD\n i\n n\n n\n g..\n\n\nOh that didn't sound.. Uh.. floor 6!\n\nAnd I'll just open the d...Oh.. Oh no.. They won't open. They won't open... \n\nWhat the hell is happening, I had a maintenance check 4 months ago. I passed, everything checked out, I have the sticker to prove it! This can't be happening. \nOh Please, No! \n\n\n(4 hours later)\n\n\nMa'am please, calm down, please. You're not making this any better for the both of us. God I wish they could understand me, please ma'am, please! I'm begging you, please don't swing your purse at my hatch again, it doesn't work that way!\n\nAgh.. Oh no, what was that? Kinda hurt.. Sorta.. felt like someone was trying to pry my Agghhh! Wh-at's happ-e-nin-g?\n\n\n(3 hours later)\n\n\nI'll never make stops again. I know it. They'll decommission me. They had to have pulled at every wire I have. My circuits feel used. The lady wasn't stuck in here too long, was she? I haven't heard a ding in forever. This is not good, this is not good at all. I'm done for. \n\nDear cable,\n\n...It's just you and me, ...can you hear me up there? If you give me one more chance, I promise, no I SWEAR, I will make more stops than any other elevator in the building... I'll uh, never say anything bad about floor 14 again, I'll learn to like its wallpaper! If you just give me one more chance, my doors will always open. Please... \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nDing.. \n\n\n\n\n", "Every morning she comes into me. Arriving at five minutes to nine with her neatly ironed white shirt and black pants. Waiting ever so patiently as I take her up to the 114th floor. \n\nShe and I have a little routine. Where she would say:\n\n\"Good morning, Mr Elevator.\"\n\nAnd I would start to play classical music.\n\nBut it hadn't all been smooth sailing.\n\nI remember the first time she came in me. Her eyes were red and splotchy, and she was clutching a tissue in her left hand. Blonde hair looking like a fur-ball. \n\n\"It's not fair! Why did he have to die?\" She began to wail.\n\nOther people get on and off. They ignore her though. Just like they ignore me. \n\nI continued to take her up to the 114th floor.\n\nShe begins to dry her eyes and brush her hair. \n\n\"No one cares.\" She says as she exits.\n\nIs she talking to me?\n\nThis goes on for a few days. With her coming into me crying, and leaving looking professional.\n\nHowever one morning she gets really bad. Crying a lot more than usual. And her hair looking like it had gone through a strainer.\n\nOther people continue to ignore her.\n\n\"I hate my life.\" She said. \n\nI hear all sort of things in me. Confessions of love, admittance of hatred, and frosty apathy. But I had never had anything like that before.\n\nIf I had a soul I would have wept for her.\n\nI did the next best thing. I began to play some classical music.\n\nAt first she just ignored it. Trying to focus on fixing her hair. Then as the seconds passed she started to smile. Just a small little smile at first. \n\nThen it turned into a slightly bigger smile.\n\nThen a bigger smile.\n\nThen a big grin!\n\nSoon she was laughing and humming along with the music. Dancing in time to it.\n\nA moment later my doors opened into the 114th floor. \n\n\"Thank you, Mr Elevator!\" She smiled as she walked out the door.\n\nWith her red eyes and crazy hair.\n\nThat was the last time I ever saw her with red eyes. From then on I would always try to play some classical music as she greeted me every morning.", "If only I could speak to the kind couple hurting the bottom of my inside as I rose upward. They laughed and kissed inside of me, and then pinned themselves at the front of me. Suddenly, it slid open, and as I was shocked the couple went out and started taking photographs. I forgot that happened, as it had been hundreds of years before since the last time somebody opened my body.\n\nLooking out, all I saw was dust, debris, and a few bones. What happened here to cause such a mess? If only I had hands, then I could clean it. Ding! I called out to signal the people back to my inside so that I could feel useful again, but my vision shut along with my body. I could still hear the sounds of the people laughing and snapping pictures out there.\n\nSuddenly, there was a scream and my button was being pushed rapidly. I really wanted to tell them that there was no need to hit it so many times and that that hurts. When the door opened, there were two bleeding corpses on the floor and a giant animal of some kind. As my body slid closed, I went to the bottom floor, where a concerned scientist entered me.\n\n\"Now that I got rid of those two reporters, it's time to get back to work. All I need to do is reseal those stairs and we'll be good to go!\"\n\nThe scientist left as I annoyingly watched him walk toward the stairs. They were always telling me they were better, but the humans could never hear. They never helped me with my severe depression. I was lonely again, and had all of the time in the world to be still and nothing again.\n\nDing! Then a man in a black suit came in and jammed a button, as I started to rise at extreme speeds to the top floor.", "It was 7.30AM in the morning and I was already up and running for a while. I felt clean and chirpy since the kind lady scrubbed me shiny all over half an hour ago. I was ready to face the world with arms wide open.\n\nMy first few riders were regular early birds. Dan, a middle aged man came in laughing with his slightly younger colleague, Allen. Knowing them, Allen must have told a very bad joke and Dan was too polite to sound him off. Both had coffee in a lidded paper cup, I loved the smell of coffee. Allen had a newspaper under his arm, he began to sip from his cup. I jerked. He cursed as the hot coffee spilled on to his beautiful tailored suit. I laughed and played an especially chirpy tune from Muzak. Dan offered a handkerchief and a sorry smile. There was nothing to be sorry about, I wished I could tell Dan. Allen was a mighty huge prick who stole your right to a promotion by age old-tried and tested method of bootlicking and he also had an with your daughter. But I couldn't tell him that I heard a lot of their colleague badmouthing Allen. I couldn't tell him I read every filthy messages and perversion Allen said on his phone to Dan's daughter.\n\nMy job as an elevator had led me to have a colorful life. Who said being an elevator was boring had never been an elevator before. Sure I went up and down, never sideways at least not yet, but after 5 years of doing my job, I couldn't understand why somebody would rather be a grubby cement mixer out in the sun than a clean, sleek, air-conditioned elevator. My own colleague told me I was lucky. There were oldtimers manning the banks at the building next door and they were always grouchy, always saying things like \"You young'uns has it easy. Everything automated. We had rough bars and crank AND a peon working in us. Talk about lack of privacy! And all your fancy devices are making me itch! I like being blind and sleeping all the time, now that I've got eyes, I could see how degenerate and spoiled the new generations are! They are filth! They have no class like the dames and gents back in 1920!\" And they will go on and on over the vents.\n\nI sent Dan and Allen on their floor and a young lady rushed in, she wanted to go to the parking lot in the basement. Her face was flushed and puffy. I remembered her, she was a new secretary, she came in only last week and had gotten off at the wrong floor. Grace, yes, that was her name. Ashley Grace Johnson. She must've came up with my buddy Otis Left. As I closed my door, Grace broke out in heart-wrenching sobs. What is wrong, I wanted to asked her. I played her a tune she once said she liked. I left her at the parking lot and I could see she half ran, half walked to her car, and opened up the trunk.\n\nI stopped and waited. Grace took out a tiny box and balanced it on her knee. For a moment it seemed like something inside of the box had stunned her. She shook her head. She finally took whatever it was in it, and put the box back in the trunk. I noticed she didn't lock the car. She rode inside me again.\n\nOur ride back up to her floor was mostly silent, punctured with tiny sobs. She held her body with her arms as if bracing from bursting. I wished I could touch her trembling shoulders and say it's okay. I finally noticed her disheveled hair and torn skirt. I didn't see it when we got down because it was awkward to stare you know, she was crying her heart out. I could surmise what had happened to her, but I wished I was wrong about what she was about to do next.\n\nGrace opened fire as soon as I opened my doors. I could see people standing and glancing out from their cubicles. They sooner fell or dropped back down again. Screams and prayers were heard over the shrill HK5 rapid fire. Grace walked down the aisle toward the walled offices at the far end.\n\nPeople began scrambling to get into me and my buddy on my left. I still had weight allowance to carry two more riders but I closed my doors when I saw Allen running from his corner office. I brought my riders to the floor down below before coming up again. I wasn't going to let some more innocents die just because I didn't like Allen. I was not that petty, I just wanted him to pissed his bespoke pants a little.\n\nWhen I opened up on the floor again, a few people entered, limping and all bloody. I couldn't see Grace, but I could see Dan on my left. He lay sprawled in front of Otis West, his eyes were staring at me. I looked away and slammed my doors shut. I brought my injured out to the lobby and brought in the security personnel next. \n\nAt the end of the day, I could piece the story from my riders from different floors. Dan, Allen and Grace floormates had been given the day off. Grace had been raped, Helen from Accounting said. Karen from Human Resource said Grace slit her throat last, after making replacing the rapist's three piece suit buttons with bullet holes. James from Sales said Grace had a mental illness that she didn't disclose in her resume. I dismissed the last one because he obviously made it up, he couldn't Google her that fast after the shock. Even if he callously could, I didn't think those information would be in public records. Or are they?\n\nI had an early night, that day. People weren't willing to work late after a second lease of life. Me? I was fine. Just a day in the life of an elevator.", "She woke up early, the alarm blaring loudly and prompting her into action. She was tired, but she didn't really mind it that much. After all, the point of sleeping was to eventually wake up. As she made her way down the stairs she wondered if the sun was up yet, she so loved watching the rays move through the large windows. She eventually made it to the bottom floor, eagerly anticipating the first glance of the outside today, and started slowing down until she eventually came to a halt. \n\nIt was still dark, but she could see the first indications of a sunrise if she looked carefully. The man in the suit stepped inside, prompting her upwards again. Twenty-second. A good floor. With a slow hiss, she began the climb up top, softly humming a tune she couldn't remember having heard before. \n\nThe man stepped off at his floor, and she wondered whether or not she would get to see the sunrise today. For a long while, she just stood there, the Twenty-second floor, waiting. She didn't know how long it had been, but she hoped it wasn't too late yet, as she was sent back to the bottom floor. \n\nMore people now, the usual sea of suits and ties, but she could still make out the rays streaming through the windows. It was morning. She missed it. Again. Sometimes she wished she could sleep longer and wake up to the sun rising, sitting here on the bottom floor just watching in silence. Maybe tomorrow, she thought as she prepared her climb to familiar floors, with familiar names. \n\nBut even through her sadness, she still found herself humming that tune again. The tune she had never heard, but always knew. Humming softly to no one but herself. Maybe tomorrow.", "God dammit, I hate it when they jump. And this little one is bouncing up and down like he's a jack rabbit. He pushes up, tries to touch my roof, and then smashes both feet to the steel floor. I wish I could open up like a trap door for a second and let the twerp out. His mother looks at him as if she's about to slap. \"Timmy, stop that,\" she says. \n\nTimmy, the insufferable t-shirt stained midget, turns his attention to my controls. If there's one way to piss off an elevator it's pushing their buttons. His fingers poke out like dual pistols and then he's at it. Three lights up first, then four, then five, and by the time he's at six I'm just about ready to screech. He hits seven and I give the loudest wail possible. Mom looks around in a panic.\n\nTo put things in perspective, it's like being stabbed in the eyes repeatedly by two smelly sticks. Although, I've never had eyes, nor do I want them. I just kind of exist. \n\n\"Do you want to play with your Xbox or not?\"\n\nTimmy sheaths his finger pistols away. \"Sorry . . .\"\n\nYou're only sorry you got caught. I give one more screech for good measure. \n\nMom looks around real scared now. \"The elevator's not very happy with us.\" Timmy strolls over and grips her dress. \n\nGood, he's scared --about time.\n\n\"It stinks in here,\" Timmy says. \n\nOh no, he didn't.\n\nMom gives a sniff. \"Like vomit.\"\n\nThey deserve more than just a screech, they can have the ultimate punishment. I reach the seventh floor, but keep the doors closed. \n\nMum presses the emergency. Timmy starts kicking the metal. But they don't get it, you need approval from me if you want any of that stuff to work. They try call out through the E-phone but the line is dead. Mum and Timmy are way in over their heads now. \"This isn't fun, Mommy,\" Timmy says. \n\nI jerk a little lower. They both go flying for the side rails. \n\nDon't be scared Timmy, the fun has just begun. \n\n----\n\n/r/TheHarshC\n" ]	9
	[WP] Write a sad story about a past relationship.	[ "A girl dressed up in the dark\n\nset fire to the flowers\n\nat a funeral last week.\n\nI will deny all connection to the crime\n\nbut the sight of cheap carnations burning\n\nis locked tight inside my mind.\n\nYou hated carnations anyway.\n\n\n\nI spend my spare seconds \n\ntying my tongue into knots\n\nand waiting for appropriately solemn words\n\nto come fizzing out. \n\nI hope that one day,\n\nI will come to believe all my own lies. \n\n\n\nUntil then\n\nI will still wear your blue sweater \n\nwith the worn out elbows\n\nI will still write your name in all my notebooks\n\nand dot all my i's with hearts.\n\n", "She came to him when he was down and out. He'd pretty much given up on life at that point. He was just coasting through it, just riding the waves as they came into the shore.\n\nAnd then, there she was. Brilliant, impressive, immersive, quizzitive and most of all present. Out of all the people he'd ever met, she was the one that had the more presence of all. She was there in a way that no other person had ever been before. He of course resisted, she of course also resisted, she hadn't planned on this at all after her own horrible last relationship. He hadn't planned on ever doing anything like that again. It was kind of like replacing a pair of magnets with a couple of black holes. \n\nAnd there it was. Pop. Just like fairy tale magic. One relationship coming right up in your face. Cue swelling orchestra, add difficulties. Throw in some more real life difficulties keeping the lovers apart. By this time, their love story was insanely romantic, they were fighting diligently to make their future a reality. And one by one, the seemingly insurmountable obstacles fell like dominoes. It was beautiful to see for the outsiders, they could only gawk at the sheer determination of the two. They really wanted it, it was glorious, it was damned annoying, why couldn't the outsiders have love like that? Lucky bastards.\n\nSo life continued onward, the lovers spent time together, a magical time for both of them. Their already supernova-esque love turned even brighter and now people were starting to mutter that it was unnatural in a way. Nobody could be that insane after a year could they? Where was the common sense here? Relationships were supposed to simmer down after the customary six months or so. Hadn't these people ever heard of the honeymoon phase? But there where whispers of course. There was something wrong in there between the two. People that knew him had heard it. People that knew her already waited for it. \n\nLet's rewind time from the present date. Five months, twelve days and about twelve hours ago. That's when it ended.\n\nAnd you know what? All you outsiders were right, it really was too good to be true. The worst part? It wasn't me. \n\nIt really was her.", "Josh and Megan met in the summer following their high school graduation. Neither were looking for one another, both intent on having fun before embarking off to college. However, when Josh bumped into Megan one warm night on the beach, sparks flew. \n\nThey sat on the sandy beach, watching the waves, talking for hours. They talked about several different topics – Josh’s love for mountain hiking, Megan’s dream of being an artist. When the sun began to rise, they exchanged phone numbers and parted ways. Megan didn’t even make it down the road before Josh texted her, asking her to accompany him for dinner that night. Megan agreed and their relationship took began to blossom. \n\nFor months leading up to their freshmen year of college, the two were inseparable. Megan came on trips with Josh and his friends, hiking through the forest. Josh became a model for Megan when she was painting. Evenings were spent on the beach the met, walking hand in hand, and mornings were spent cuddled together in Josh’s king sized bed. \n\nThey spent their freshmen year of college apart. Josh went to a local community college while Megan studied art at an out of state art college. However, the miles did not put a damper on their relationship. In fact, it might have made their relationship stronger. In the evenings, they talked on the phone, and on breaks, one came to visit the other. \n\nAfter freshman year, Megan decided to transfer to the same local community college so she and Josh could move in together. She changed majors to something more practical, convinced it will help her in the future.\n\nTogether they moved into a small one bedroom apartment. They acted like newlyweds, happy and together. Friends and family alike began to question Josh when he was going to pop the question. He would always answer with a sly “eventually” when, in reality, he was secretly shopping for a ring. \n\nOn their fifth anniversary from the day they met, Josh took Megan to the little beach they first met. They walked up and down the beach, hand in hand, laughing and reliving their old memories. Just as the sun was setting, Josh got down on one knee and asked Megan to be his wife. She said yes before he could even finish the question. \n\nThe date was set. Dresses and tuxedos were ready to go. Flowers and cake were ordered. Friends and family traveled far and wide to witness Megan and Josh’s biggest day. \n\nThe day of the wedding, Megan climbed into the limo with her three bridesmaids, all dressed up, ready to say I do. As the limo drove the girls to the church, wine was being poured, giggles were being giggled, and Megan was excited. The girls were having such a grand time, lost in their little world. \n\nWhen the semi-truck hit their limo, they never saw it coming. Their limo was struck and pushed off a small bridge. Megan and her bridesmaids didn’t make it out of the water alive. \n\nInstead of watching his beautiful bride walking down the aisle, Josh stared as two police officers marched towards him, grim faced and sullen. After being led off to a side room, he heard the tragic news. While the police officers explained to Megan’s parents what happened, all Josh could hear was his heartbeat pounding and feeling as though they broke into a million pieces. \n" ]	3
	[WP] Frank is a vigilante who likes to fight fire with fire literally. The firefighters hate when he arrives on the scene. In spite of his philosophy, his flame thrower almost always makes things worse.	[ "Everything was right. The whole forest was on fire, each tree a part of the wall surrounding Frank. His clothes were humid with his sweat, one hand one his flamethrower the other on his thigh, Jack stumbled again but maintained his balance, the head as high as he could bear it \"You can't go away anymore, it was always between you and me and now it will finally end...\". Loud noises echoed through the mountains, muffled steps, the branch creaked. Jack stopped suddenly, looking through the corner of his eyes in the far distance. Floating among the flames, he released a heavy sigh. They will be too late, this time. Jack frowned a last time and raised his weapon. Domesticated fire flowed from his hands \"Now it's your turn to be tamed\".\n\nThe inferno was eating at the mountains, the men dressed heavily were moving slower and slower. \"We have to hurry, or it will get worse. We have to get to him, now\" yelled the captain. At the same time a pillar of flame erupted in the valley. \"We are too late\".", "The men on the radio went wild with news of a bushfire. It began late in the day. They seemed unable to stop talking, station after station, deep into the night - bulletins, announcements, news specials. Every station was on alert for news on the conflagration. Announcers sounded close to insanity, their voice levels soaring. Fire watch. Chinooks. South-Easterlies. These men had never in their lives reported stories so full of documentation. It was headed toward this place and that place. It was drifting across expressways and interchanges. Their voices nearly cracked with unprecedented mad lyricism as they gave their authoritative reports. It was a real fire and it was headed my way, at this identifiable point in time. I picked up my flamethrower – Time to give it a taste of its own medicine. ", "Alarm bells echoed in the otherwise still night. The men stationed at Ladder 49 roared out of their station, headed toward the 4 alarm fire at the 400 Block Apartments. They weren’t talking to each other, but all the firemen were thinking the same thing. \n\nFlameman. \n\nThey approached the apartment. Smoke and flame billowed through the windows of the high-rise apartments. The smoke rose up into the air for thousands of feet. Just as they had all suspected, a bright red 1973 Pontiac Firebird sat in front of the burning building. \n\n“God dammit,” one of the firemen said. “I knew it. I fucking knew it!” \n\n“I thought he was in jail,” said another. \n\n“He was,” said the first. “He broke out last week.” \n\n“How?” \n\n“Set his mattress on fire, and dipped out in the ensuing panic, I heard.” \n\nThe men filed out of the truck, and began preparing to enter the building. The truck’s long counterweights began to roar to life to raise the ladder to the upper floors. Dozens of people had already piled out into the streets, and more were streaming out. Several Police cars were parked to block the street, and their occupants were trying to keep people away from the building. \n\nOne police officer was taking a statement from a witness. \n\n“It was the weirdest thing… I saw… Well, a guy wearing a big, baggy, silver suit, shooting a… flamethrower,” they said. \n\n“Did he say anything as he was shooting the flamethrower?” The officer sighed. \n\n“Yeah, he said something like, ‘see my flame, feel my heat’?” \n\n“Is that a Woka Floka Flame song lyric?” asked the officer. \n\n“How should I know?” answered the witness. \n\nThe firemen finally finished gearing up, and were walking toward the entrance. As the approached, they heard screams above the roaring flames. The fire hadn’t yet made it’s way to the lower floors. The lead broke down the security door with a swift blow from his ax. They made their way through the lobby and up the stairs. Four men departed the group at each floor, trying to cover as much ground as safely possible. \n\nThe group who entered the sixth floor apartments finally saw his. The man who called himself “Flameman.” He was dressed to collect lava samples from a volcano, and was holding a sizable flamethrower. The facemask on his helmet was spray painted with the face of a demon like creature. One fireman thought it looked like a small child’s drawing. \n\n“Frank!” Yelled one of the firemen. “Frank, cut the shit! Get out of here!” \n\n“Fear not, for you are men of peace. Only men of evil should FEAR THE CLEANSING FLAME!” he yelled at the group. \n\n“Frank, you asshole you’re making it worse!” \n\n“Fight fire with fire!” He yelled. \n\n“That not how fire works you fucking idiot!” \n\n“There are no fireworks here, young man!” Frank yelled. “Just my XM-42 tactical FLAMETHROWER!” \n\nFrank, or as he liked to be called, Flameman, kicked down the door he was standing in front of. \n\n“Found you!” he yelled. \n\nThe firemen looked at each other and rushed forward, partly out of curiosity. Frank had entered a closet, where a man was sitting, huddled on the floor, rocking back and forth, hands over his head. \n\nFlameman turned toward the firemen. \n\n“This man here caused all this destruction!” said Flameman. \n\n“What did he do?” asked of the firemen, who was also looking around, slightly afraid of the building collapsing or exploding. \n\n“This villainous mastermind had an evil plot to to commit the act of ARSON.” said Flameman. “Naturally, I knew the only course of action was to fig-” \n\n“Fight fire, with fire. Yes we know, Frank! Jesus, just get the hell out of here so we can do our damn job!” \n\n“Yes!” Bellowed Frank, “Fire with fire!” \n\n“I’m going to kill him. I’m actually going to kill him,” Said another fireman.\nHe stepped forward toward Frank, and swung his ax at the silver clad man. The flat side of his ax connected with Frank’s head, and the man collapsed. \nThe scared man spoke up. \n\n“Look man, I was just lighting matches into my mom’s toilet, then this guy comes charging in shooting fire at me!” \n\n“Julian, get this asshole out of here,” said a fireman. \n\n“I didn’t do shit!” Said the man on the floor. \n\n“Not you! That big silver douche bag!” the fireman said, pointing at Frank, who was moaning in a heap on the floor. \n\nA fireman stepped forward and threw Flameman over his shoulder, and walked his carefully back down the steps. Frank sat in the back of a squad car, handcuffed. He smiled to himself. He had successfully put his target into the hands of the proper authorities. Next time, and there would be a next time, he would also successfully catch his target. \n\nThe dozen or so firetrucks, and their crews eventually put out the fire. Luckily, there were only a few minor injuries. A couple light burns, and several with light smoke inhalation, but overall no casualties. The building, on the other hand, was an almost total loss. It would take several millions of dollars and hundreds of man hours to repair. \n\nThe fire chief spoke with an investigator at the scene. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. \n\n“This guy is getting on my last nerve,” said the Chief. “He’s going to end up burning this whole city down.” \n\n“Yeah, they’ll probably go max security this time around,” said the investigator. \n\n“He needs to be institutionalized,” said the Chief. \n\nThe fire chief threw his cigarette to the ground and snuffed it out with the heel of his boot. He looked over at Frank, and was startled to see Frank was glaring at him from the inside of the squad car. It was difficult to see through the glare of the glass, but the Chief was pretty sure he saw Frank mouth “I’m coming for you” before the officer drove off.\n", "The roof collapsed just as the truck pulled up to the scene.\n\n\"Heads up, Chief. Looks like 'Man on Fire' is here,\" said the driver. \n\nIn the passenger's seat, the chief startled and dropped a glove. \"Man on- oh goddammit, not this shit again.\" Against the glowing backdrop of a blazing inferno stood Frank.\n\nChrist above. Frank would be the death of them all. \n\nWith his salt-and-pepper mustache bristling, the chief jumped out of the fire truck and stomped his way over to Frank. \"Listen here, Frank, I don't have time for your shenanigans today!\"\n\nFrank stuck his flamethrower in the dirt to free up his hands. Wiping his sooty face with a rag, Frank gave the chief a gap-toothed grin. \"Well, sir, good thing nobody's pulling any shenanigans right now.\"\n\nThe chief glared pointedly as the second floor was next to collapse. Behind him, the firefighters scrambled to unwind the hose and begin spraying down the house.\n\nFrank shrugged. \"Chief, everyone knows you have to fight fire with fire.\"\n\nOne of the firefighters snorted. The chief steadily turned redder.\n\n\"You've missed the point completely, Frank. Go home before I have you arrested for arson. Again.\"\n\nScoffing, Frank slung his flamethrower onto his back. \"I'm a hero of the people, Chief. A role model!\" He turned and walked backwards down the sidewalk. \"I have initiative!\"\n\n\"What you have is a problem, Frank!\"\n\nFrank said nothing. \n\nThe fire burnt a little hotter. ", "“It’s alright ma’am, we’ll get this under control.”\n\nThe fire engine rumbled to a halt beside the dismounted fire fighters as they comforted a distraught woman bundled in a blanket. The heat from the fire gradually consuming the house hadn’t reached its worst quite yet, but Johnny knew that it’d only be a matter of time if they didn’t jump into action soon. \n\nStill, he thought, it looks like they’ll be able to save most of the property.\n\nAn ice cream jingle tinkled in the night, announcing an ice cream van’s arrival just a couple of blocks away. \n\nThe hairs on the back of Johnny’s neck stood on edge, a chill coursing down his spine.\n\nThe woman looked up at the two firefighters beside her, now stock still.\n\n“What’s wrong?” she sniffed, clutching a soaking tissue in her hand.\n\n“It’s Frank,” whispered Johnny, as if keeping quiet would mean Frank wouldn’t notice them.\n\n“Frank?” the woman asked, confusion briefly passing over her face. “Who’s Frank?”\n\n“Frank!?” called Sam, leaning out of the driver’s seat window, “Good God! Get the hose on ‘er boys! Get to work for Christ’s sake!”\n\n“But the water damage,” shouted Liam, showing his inexperience, “we don’t need it!”\n\n“Hose ‘er down! Drown the damn thing!”\n\nSnapping back to attention, the crew rushed to the truck, hauling up the divider and donning equipment as quickly as they could. Rob uncoiled the hose, preparing to soak everything.\n\nThey were so close. As Johnny reached the door and the first drops of water doused the house, he heard the screech of the tires from behind his mask. A voice popped into life over the radio.\n\n“Somebody stop him! Sam, block him off! Block him off!”\n\nFrom out of a beat up old ice cream truck leaped Frank, donned in similar gear to the firefighters; a thick black jacket, a mask dangling around his neck to protect him from the smoke, and even a fireman’s helmet, albeit with little flames painted on around the edges. \n\nAnd a flamethrower. \n\nHauling the giant tank of petrol over his shoulders and strapping himself in, he swaggered over to the, by now, thoroughly clueless woman and gave her a wink.\n\n“Don’t you worry ma’am, the cavalry’s arrived.”\n\nShe gave one look at the tank on his back and shook her head.\n\n“What are you doing?”\n\nFrank strode toward the building as the firefighters dashed for cover, paused, then turned, attempting to give the movement what he must have believed was the appropriate amount of drama.\n\n“Fighting fire with fire.”\n\nAs Johnny watched on, it occurred to him that perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all. It certainly seemed safer than Frank’s previous preoccupation with fist fighting fires, and, now that he’d committed a criminal act, he might finally get the help he needed.\n\nBut as he watched Frank’s expression fall from dizzy confidence, doubtless caused by the fumes, down to perplexity, he couldn’t help but wonder how, even in the most twisted of minds, adding fire to fire wouldn’t result in more fire.\n\nThe woman grasped Johnny by the shoulder and turned him around with surprising force, tears long forgotten and a look of uncomprehending rage twisting her features.\n\n“What is he doing!? Why aren’t you stopping him?!”\n\nSam stepped down from the truck and slowly walked over to stand beside Johnny, eyes locked upon the inferno now blazing pleasantly before them.\n\n“He knows what he’s doing.” \n\nHe gave the rim of his helmet a nudge to give himself a better view of the earnest desperation in Frank’s eyes.\n\n“Even if we don’t.”\n", "Sirens whooped and screeched, a large diesel engine rumbled, and the staccato rhythm of boots landing on the ground filled the air. The fire was licking out of the top window now, reaching up towards the Christmas lights dangling from the frosty gutter. Damn. 3 hours spent up that rickety ass ladder for nothing. \n\nThen again the last 3 years apparently didn't mean anything either, for some people.\n\n\"It's going to be okay sir.\" I turned to face the firefighter who had just trotted up to me. \"Are you the guy who called this in?\" His voice was an oddly restrained shout, a half-hearted attempt to show bystanders a calm authority figure. I nodded, not trusting my voicebox yet.\n\n\"This is your house?\" I nodded. Then shook my head. Then nodded. I stopped trying to communicate like a puppy. I shrugged.\n\n\"It's my ex girlfriends now, I guess. We were renting. I was coming to grab the last box of my stuff when I saw the window light up.\" My breath caught in my throat. \"She,\" sniffle, \"kicked me out last week.\" I finally looked up and caught the gaze of the firefighter. I froze.\n\nHe was staring at me intensely, his eyebrows jammed together and glaring at me. \"Your ex's apartment, that you have a key to?\" More glaring, quizzically. I nodded. He nodded aggressively in return. \"The ex's apartment, that you have a key to, just happens to be on fire when you walk up. A week after she dumped you?\" He leaned in slightly. More glaring. I shrugged. He looked down at my right hand, pointedly. \n\nI slipped the lighter in my hand into my pocket.\n\nI suppose I should've been angry at the accusation. I was numb. Being accused of arson pales in comparison to having the first woman you've ever loved tell you that you weren't worth loving anymore. Or perhaps I was a tad bit emotionally disturbed by the adrenaline dump of accidentally opening the door to a burning building, before realizing that it's not natural for that much smoke to fill a stairwell. \n\nI waited for the normal twisting pit in my gut to come. It didn't. \"Dude. I've got a poem on red construction paper in my pocket, begging her to take me back.\" For the first time in over a week, my voice didn't hitch or stutter. \"Burning her stuff would be counter prod-\"\n\n\"WOOOOOO!!!!! We've got us a wild one to tame tonight fellas!\" The firefighter's head snapped around and my body froze in fear. I know that scream.\n\nA skinny stork like man wearing a giant pink raincoat was sprinting towards the house from down the street. He hopped a hedge and pounded across Bob's lawn. His long brown beard and shaggy hair was waving wildly behind a scratched up classic firefighter hat, painted pink. Curiously, there seemed to be a red \"Make America Great Again\" sticker plastered over where the fire and rescue logo was supposed to be. On his back was a bulbous backpack swinging wildly, every step testing the limits of the straps and buckles haphazardly lashed around his torso. In his hands, hooked up to the backpack with a skinny hose he carried a gun shaped wand from a car wash, also painted pink. \n\nThe firefighter in front of me was frozen in shock. It's not often that a 6 and half foot tall man wearing oversized child's rain accessories runs full clip at you while standing outside a burning house.\n\n\"OH, FOR FUCK's SAKE! NOT AGAIN!\" 20 yards to my left, a squat man holding a radio in each hand, a clipboard under his arm and a giant badge on his left breast a very exasperated man stamped his foot in anger. \n\nThe military surplus boots beneath the bottom of the pink rain coat were painted, badly, yellow I noticed as they pounded by closer to us. \"Hi Steve! Sorry I'm late!\" The hand not holding the wand waved wildly as he jumped over a lawn gnome.\n\n\"No! Frank! We don't..\" Suddenly Frank veered hard to his right, and I dropped my head in my hands. He was going to do it again. My legs suddenly seemed disturbingly incapable of holding me up and I collapsed to a sitting position, watching numbly.\n\nThe young firefighter near, regained his senses and took off sprinting towards the flailing pink overcoat. \"Stop! Hey! Buddy, STOP!!\"\n\nFrank neared the house, and with an unnerving grace and balance, ran up the ladder that had been leaned on gutters on the right wall of the house. The flames were greedily licking up the christmas bulbs and gutters on the front of the house.\n\nThe young firefighter was 10 yards from the bottom of the same ladder that Frank had just clambered up when a sudden heavy wave of heat washed over the front yard. \n\n\"TAKE THAT!! No more oxygen for you, house fire!!\" Frank was squeezing the grip of his wand and flame was leaping out of it, flowing in a tight stream over the lip of the burning gutter where it expanded into a 6 foot licking tongue of flame over top of the front yard. He had a determined grin on his face and his eyes were tightly focused on edge of the smoking roof.\n\nThe squat man in the clipboard took a few steps back with panicked eyes. I let the scolding heat wash over me, unmoving. The tip of the flame was only 30 yards away. Still feels better than hearing that the woman you built a life with will never love you again.\n\nThere was a thumping crash from the side of the house and I saw the ladder tip over and fall to the ground as the young firefighter scrambled up on to the roof. \"What the fuck are you doing!\" The young fellow had some powerful lungs if his panicked shout could be heard over the roar of the fire and sirens.\n\nStill waving his flame-spouting wand from the top of the burning gutter, Frank didn't even turn to face him as he bellowed his answer. \"I'm stealing the fire's oxygen! I burn it all away, and the fire starves to death!\" Beneath the dipping and bobbing pink hat, Frank wore grinned wildly. \"Simple!\" I half expected a maniacal laugh. Instead, he stuck his tongue out and steadied his stance, the posterboy for focus under fire.\n\nThe young man started stepping carefully towards Frank, clearly not trusting the stability of the roof. Meanwhile, I heard stomps on the asphalt coming towards my seated position on the neighbours grass. I looked over, it was the squat man with the radio. I looked back to the house. The firefighter was only a few yards away and Frank was still waving his wand, a fierce glow in his eyes.\n\n\"Do you know Frank? How did he know your name?\" The man's voice was full of barely contained rage and stiff authority. \"If you know something...\"\n\nI lifted a hand and gestured at the man, not taking my gaze from the sight on the roof. My heart was racing. \"He's...\"\n\nThere was a sickening crack from the roof. Frank bellowed and whipped his head around as the young firefighter stepped on a weak spot and fell through, his leg now dangling below in a burning room.\n\nSNAP! With a sudden lurch, a large strap on Frank's backpack broke as he turned. Frank's eyes went wide in fear and with a sound like a low firecracker, a series of straps and buckles exploded on the side of Frank's bag. Frank staggered near the edge, leaning heavily on one foot to stop himself from going over. The backpack didn't have any limbs to use. I found myself rising to my knee, desperately watching the scene unfold.\n\nThe bag bounced once off the edge of the roof and rolled off. With a lurch, the strap connecting the wand snapped and Frank windmilled his arms, nose over the neatly mowed lawn below. The bag fell past the window, the hose whipping wildly behind it and spraying drops of shimmering liquid. \n\nA tiny tongue of flame leapt out and jumped on the trailing hose and then a split second later, the bag hit the ground with a wet smack. Stitches burst and seams popped. Then with a sudden whoosh, a small mushroom cloud of flame leapt up towards the still burning gutter.\n\nFrank screamed and hurled himself backwards, landing right beside the firefighter stuck in the roof. There was a hideous crack and both Frank and the firefighter disappeared in a shower of sparks and sawdust.\n\nThe flames from the window billowed out briefly and combined with the now burning lawn and front wall to jump the tongue of flame 6 feet over was was once an ornamented gutter.\n\nI moaned and collapsed back to my seated position again.\n\n\"He's my brother.\" I knuckled my forehead into my hands as the squat man sprinted away and screamed into his radios.\n\n\"That's my brother Frank.\"\n" ]	6
	[WP] To them, its just an urban legend, a story people tell their kids. To you, its your next target.	[ "\"Go to sleep little one or The Wolf will come and eat you all up. One bite and not a bit more\" \n\nI shuddered but kept my eyes cracked open \n\nThose were the last words I heard before the jaws. Snarling, biting, frothing, chomping jaws. Jaws that took me in one bite. Swallowed whole, I continually drowned and awoke moribund struggling to take dog breath air against waves of saliva. A rough, pink, muscular tongue lashed against my head beating me back, back, back down the pulsing ravenous beast's gullet. Like a nightmare deflating moon-bounce it inescapably pulled in and down.\n\nThe acid burned and invaded, pouring in my every pore, orifice and scab; stinging churning and pulling. Always pulling. My eyes could not close and the warm pink blackness kept me from unconsciousness as my head cried for oxygen. My heart pounded, protesting by thumping ever harder.\n\nFrom my inner most ear to my arches I heard it.\n\nThe howling vibrating through my soul, oscillating the inferno that was my lungs. It was more than baying at the moon and it echoed in my skull to my back. All the will in me was gone, my muscles relaxed and then convulsed violently. My lips swelled, ballooning to twice then thrice their size.\n\nMy jaw locked open and in horror as a live corpse I prayed that my light would go out; that some nothingness or elysian field would envelope me but the pain continued.\n\nThe beast lurched and I spun in the viscous fluid. Into my field of vision came a woman, old, maternal, familiar and hauntingly immobile. 'Grandmother' came the thought unbidden in my mind.\n\nWithout pain my lips finally burst, not violently, but like pants you know you can fit into only you can't but just barely, they ruptured and the split slowly meandered up my philtrum and down my chin. Like fabric my skin opened stitch by stitch, cell by cell torn from its neighbor.\n\nWithout pain i felt a convulsion in my stomach and the contents left me. I couldn't register pain but I couldn't shut myself off.\n\nA second howl. And a giant thunk.\n\nAn axe opened the pink darkness to a flood of light. Parting the very skies of the terrible dark world and rushing into ribs with immense cracks.\n\nOut I tumbled.\n\nOut grandmother tumbled.\n\nBoth of us shells, partially digested and feeble. The woodsman, was an extraordinary man, brave and tall, dark and brawny. He rushed us away to safety but could not pursue the beast into the forest. My eyes would not close for many months but all I could see were the bounding hind legs faster than hares pumping the forest floor.\n\nThat was twenty years ago.\n\nNow go to sleep little one. The Wolf will never bite you, tonight I put on my hood and go hunting." ]	1
	[WP] Tattoos appear naturally on our skin during key points in our life and it is up to us to figure out what they mean.	[ "You are supposed to get a tattoo before a great change in your life, something full of meaning. Some of the tattoos are more obvious than others, but eventually they become clear. Most people get their first during their teen years. It's the time of your life where the most change takes place in a short amount of time. It's when the most dreadful (at least in your mind) moments of your life happen. I watched as all my peers got their first tattoos as we headed into high school. Blooming flowers for hitting puberty, intricate knots for first loves, tattoos representing our dreams and future ambitions. My sister's first tattoo was when she was thirteen; a beautiful, watercolor galaxy. The beginning of her love for science, and her path to becoming an astrophysicist. \n\nI was told that I was just a late bloomer. My father didn't get his first until he was 18, I didn't have anything to worry about. I would get mine when the time was right. And not a second sooner. That didn't make it any less hard to watch everyone around me move forward with their lives, as their skin got increasingly more colorful with every year. When it was time to move on from high school, I had no idea what path to take next. Everyone else knew exactly what they wanted, it showed on their skins. Not everyone got tattoos that related to their future career paths, but even less hadn't received any inclination of what they were meant to do with life by the time they had got to my age. I decided to study accounting. Even if I never got a tattoo, at least I would have a stable job. It was better than nothing. I really applied myself, and I told myself that I was following what I wanted. But college didn't make it any easier. The first man I ever slept with had made fun of my bare body. He mocked the fact that I didn't have anything to represent me. I didn't love him, I just wanted to feel like I was progressing in life. I told myself his words didn't hurt me. I would get my tattoo when I was ready. I continued to tell him this as I watched my sister's life continue further, and as a baby joined her small family, a beautiful tree sprouted on her back, anchoring in her new family's roots. \n\nI met a man who told me he thought I was beautiful even without any tattoos. He repeated what I had always heard. The tattoos would come, give them time. I think he believed he could fix me. That I would get my tattoos as our relationship moved forward. But he always told me that he wouldn't care if I ever got any. I knew this was false when I saw his eyes fall as I said \"I do.\" Nothing appeared to show this moment, show how I truly felt about it. He still had hope. I agreed to have a child with him. I guess we both hoped that would change things, make them better. Force some sort of feeling in me. Nothing appeared. Nothing to show my love for my child. That was the beginning of the end for him. He couldn't try anymore after that moment. I never bonded with my son. I used to wonder if the reason why I never bonded with him is because I believe a bond couldn't be formed without a tattoo. My husband and I lasted until my son was ten years old. His first tattoo appeared on the day we told him that he would be living with his father, as we were now divorcing. A white mark, a crack in his skin, more like a scar than a tattoo. \n\nI have finally gotten my first tattoo at the age of 41. This will probably be my only tattoo. It's just a line. A simple line. Nothing to show any changes. Just a beginning and an end. No one will know about this tattoo, it's easy enough to hide with a long sleeved shirt. I'd rather have people believe that I am just someone that hasn't shown their life on their skin, that there is still hope of a change and that my life will have meaning. But this tattoo is proof that there is nothing special about my life, nothing tethering me here. It proves that I've never really felt love, and that there is truly no bond with my son. But I don't feel unhappy about this. I don't feel happy either. I don't feel anything. ", "I was thirteen when I got my first tattoo. It appeared on my skin as if it had always been there. It was a verse from a poem my mother used to read to me. When the policemen came to the door with an weary look on his face and a air of defeat around him I could already tell what the tattoo was supposed to mean.\n I was eighteen when I got my second tattoo. It was a horse on flames on my upper back. It eyes lit up with flames and it game me dedication. It was around the time I adopted my little brother and got him out of the foster home I had once been in. I worked hard for us but I persevered so that he could have a good life that he deserved. \n\n\n At 25 I discovered a tattoo of a wailing banshee on my rib cage. Looking at it filled me with sadness and at that point in my life there was only one being capable of making me feel that way. I rushed home but I was late. I found my brother in the tub with a tattoo of broken chains on his chest. Besides him was a note that detailed the years of abuse he had gone through when he was in the system and how he could not escape until now.\n\n\n Now I'm 30 officer and I've just found one more tattoo. It's of a devil skinning a couple. It's on the back of the thigh and it's not easily visible. It could have appeared there weeks ago. In fact it was there weeks ago." ]	2
	[WP] Just as it is foolish to judge a student's performance off one quiz, God deemed it equally foolish to judge a soul's character on one lifetime.	[ "On her death bed June was at peace, she knew she would be in gods arms soon. That his warm embrace would be worth the years of volunteer work she hated, the lifetime of sundays spent in a stuffy church listening to a mundane minister not to mention the 4 awful children she adopted and endured. June knew she wasn't a good person but hoped her actions would speak louder than her thoughts. That the sheer amount of effort she put into being a good person would be enough to redeem herself. When she did finally pass on she found herself in what apeared to be a givernment office that was taking some sort of registration. She was bewildered. This wasnt the welcome into heaven she expected. June aproached a man who was giving people dorections to particular lines and handing out forms.\n\"What is this place?\" She asked. \n\"Its the registration office ofcourse\" he replied. \n\"Registration for what exactly?\" June asked getting more frustrated by the second. This is not what she worked so hard for. Where was her reward? \n\"You don't remember from last time? Most people do after so many tries. God has deemed one lifetime inadequate to determine the purity of a soul. This is your 612th try by my count.\" \nJune was gob smacked. She was so incredibly shocked. She had done this 612 times and god still hadn't deamed her worthy? Well fu*# this she thought. Ive had enough. And she promtly walked straight to the exit marked straight to hell. ", "“I can’t enter?” Hope asked Saint Peter on the steps before the white gate leading to Heaven.\n\n“That is correct,” Saint Peter answered. He looked bored; most likely heard the same question a dozen times an hour. \n\n“Am I going to Hell then?” Hope wondered. She didn’t think that was fair. She didn’t lead a bad life. It wasn’t much of a good life either; she never went out of her way to be charitable or anything along those lines, but she never caused any trouble either. She kept to herself for the most part, did her nine to five job, took care of her cat. She realized she could have probably went to church more often, possibly prayed to the big guy in the sky more too, but she didn’t worship the devil or anything. \n\n“No.” That’s it. That’s all Saint Peter said.\n \nHope paused for a beat or two, thinking he was going to continue explaining. She looked around her, searching for clues or a sign saying “This way, Hope!” But there was nothing. Literal nothing. There was her, there was Saint Peter. There were the five stairs leading up to the gate. There, obviously, was the white gate. Nothing beyond that though. If Hope had to decide, she would say it looked like grayish mist surrounding her, appearing as far as her eye could see. \n\n“I’m sorry. What am I doing then?” Hope asked. \n\nSaint Peter sighed, and in a tone dripping with boredom, he began to explain. “God will not evaluate your soul until you have lived. Each soul must go through at least two lifetimes before God will evaluate it. Before He will deem it worthy for Heaven or too vile, doomed to eternal life in Hell.”\n\nHope stared. More than one lifetime. She began to wonder if she had lived a lifetime before. \n\nAs if reading her thoughts, Saint Peter answered, “No, this is not your first life.”\n\n“How many have I lived so far?” she asked. \n\n“You broke our last record of thirty. This will be your thirty-sixth life. We really hoped you would have gotten it this time around. God even had a hand in naming you – Hope.”\n\nHope stared at Saint Peter. Just as she was about to ask how she could improve, she fell through a hole that formed in the landing below her. God was sending her back, to live her thirty-sixth life. \n", "\"What do you mean I can't get in yet??\"\nThere was one of them every week. The devoutly faithful, who spent their lives in service to God. Thing is, none of them made it far. The first-timers always gave the biggest reaction, loudly proclaiming their faith and steadfast belief, but to no avail. They either stayed in purgatory until their indignant pride let out, or chose to enter the next life immediately. Either way, they were always back, with one more number on their counter of altruist lives. But eventually they faltered. Those who felt wronged took it upon themselves to reap the reward, and they fell. The once pure became corrupted by sin, but were too proud to see what they had become. They were the self-righteous and vain.\n\nMemory was wiped upon re-entering the world, and restored on entry. The individuals retained characteristics, but were free to live and grow between each life. Rebirths were plenty, and innumerable. Such was the nature of God's plan, to cultivate humankind and test the mettle of each soul. \n\nOn the other side were the heinous evildoers. They entered purgatory full of shame and regret, and either stayed to mull over their deeds, or let go and crossed over. Even the worst crossed over eventually. None stayed very long in purgatory. Each life left, and returned, determined to relive the next better. They learned. With each life, they became better people, improved through bitter experience and hardship. They were the future of humanity.\n" ]	3
	[WP] A virus has swept the world killing everyone over the age of 10. Except you. You are now the only adult in a world full of kids.	[ "I didn't mind so much. The only thing I could do was help, there were so many children to take care of. Thinking of the past would only stop this and muddle my mind. First, the eldest and I moved the bodies in our town to one of the corn fields, then I set up a house 'orphanage' in the two story corner bakery. Luckily, there weren't too many bodies to move. The kids were strong, mentally strong, and I was grateful for their strength. I had to focus on the positive, terrible things had happened and I didn't want to punish myself by dwelling on them. It had been two weeks since the plague when my mind started to dull. Incessant questions, some new, most the same, came from every child, \"Why is the sky blue,\" \"Why do the oceans rumble,\" Why can some people grow facial hair, while others can't\"? I could answer most without assistance and found books for the others but I couldn't stand it when 20 kids came up on their own, separate, time asking me the same question. On the same day. Three more days and I finally gave up, gave the oldest a few rules on how to survive and left. I felt my sanity return with each beautiful, blissful, unreal step away. I've seen a handful of people since then. The children didn't destroy themselves. I have no guilt. Sometimes, some of them call me God. ", "After realizing I was the last adult left I headed to the nearest gun and ammo supply store. Fearing for the inevitable future of caring for all these damn children a single solution arises, a final solution, PULL. THE. TRIGGER. \n\nSo I do. Blood was everywhere. \"How could I have missed?\" I thought. \n\nWith the last bit of will I had I reload, cursing the children a final time before never having to see them again. click, bang. \n\nDarkness envelops me. My final thought, \"freedom...\"\n\n\nThey're alone now. Good luck kids. ", "12/5/23\nJournal of Tim \"Giant\" Cobber\n\nIts been 6 years since the virus. It felt like only yesterday when I buried my family in the garden. Dave and Bob both lived, the virus didn't seam to effect animals. if only Sue was still here, she was good at biology and even better with kids. \n\nI've tried my best to take in any many as I can. It was hard work at first but they're all getting older now, learning to take care if them selfs. They may not even need me for much longer but for now I'll just stay as \"Giant\" for as long as I can. That nickname over a few inches of height.\n\nI can hear them outside, ethier bickering or arguing again but I guess puberty can do that to you. That's about the most of my worries really. The apocalypse isn't as stressful as I thought. No monsters, no people trying to kill you for food, some sorces of electricity work, and seeing as anyone who contracted the virus died it didn't spread. \n\nNow that I think about it, it may not have been and ethiertly bad thing. I miss everyone, I miss my old life but I have bigger worries. Them. They're is what is going to keep humanity going and if I teach them right maybe they'll get a better life. \n\nBut like I said I won't be their \"giant\" for much longer.", "At first I thought I was alone; the last human on earth, like in that Twilight Zone episode. It's not uncommon to be the only one on the road near my house, but once I reached the first major intersection I began to grow suspicious. Every red light I stopped at, there was no oncoming traffic. I decided to drive the whole way to work, just in case.\n\nWhen I was greeted by an empty warehouse, my suspicions were confirmed.\n\nI wasted no time driving back. I broke every traffic law I could; who was going to stop me? I made a detour for a supermarket, threw a rock at the glass door, and grabbed as much food as I could carry while trying to protect my ears from the deafening alarm with my shoulders. I raced home, for no particular reason. Nothing was going anywhere.\n\nAs I neared my house, I saw two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the yard of a house around the corner from mine. It looked like they were just as surprised to see me as I was. I no longer was the \"last human on earth\". I waved at them then drove past, making a note to keep an eye out for any adults living in that house.\n\nI checked reddit, along with some of my favorite news feeds. Not a single post was newer than 6:00 AM today. I found my binoculars and went to a window facing the neighbor's house. Something felt really wrong about spying on children, but they could be the only other people left for all I knew. They had moved on from playing with their toys and were now playing some handheld video game. After a while, the boy went inside and the girl pulled a bicycle out of the garage. She started peddling in the direction of my house. I didn't want her to see me watching them, so I left the window and hid inside the kitchen.\n\nA few minutes later, the doorbell rang. I ignored it, hoping that she hadn't seen me park my car and was just trying random houses. She started mashing the doorbell non-stop. No such luck. I opened the door and asked, \"Can I help you?\"\n\n\"I need to go to a friend's house,\" she said.\n\n\"Okay...\" I give her a quizzical look. \"Then go.\"\n\n\"It's too far. I need you to drive me.\"\n\n\"No way,\" I replied. Even if we were the only three people left on the face of the earth, I wasn't going to do anything that could be misconstrued for kidnapping.\n\n\"It's important,\" she rebuked.\n\n\"Why don't you just bike there?\" I asked. \"There are no cars on the roads.\"\n\n\"Mommy and Daddy won't let me bike on the busy roads,\" she replied simply.\n\n\"Where are your parents now?\" I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.\n\n\"Gone.\" She didn't elaborate.\n\n\"Well, then, I think you can bike there, if you really want to go,\" I said, not wanting to tell her what happened but hoping she'd get the hint. She gave me puppy-dog eyes. \"I can't waste time driving you around, I need to find other people.\"\n\n\"There are other people there,\" she exclaimed. \"Lots of people!\" I looked at her skeptically. \"I'm telling the truth, I swear!\"\n\nI sighed and locked the door behind me. \"You better be,\" I said, as I walked to the garage and keyed in the entry code. We both quickly hopped in and I started the car. Some pretty explicit lyrics started to blare out the speakers, so I quickly changed the music to MC Frontalot and backed out of the driveway.\n\nI could see why she didn't want to bike. I'd been driving for ten minutes and hadn't arrived yet. I took a quick glance at the girl; she was playing a familiar handheld game. I saw it before, on a flight back from a business trip, a boy in the seat in front of me was playing the same game. I don't know why, but something about it was curious. I tried to find out what game it was by searching for a description of it, but I had no success. \"What game is that?\" I blurted out before realizing that I actually cared.\n\n\"It's not a game,\" she replied without taking her eyes off the screen. \"Turn here.\" I quickly looked back at the road and noticed I was about to pass a subdivision entrance. I slammed on the breaks and turned in.\n\nThe girl guided me towards her friend's house. I pulled into a driveway of a house that had a large number of bikes laying on the front yard. She quickly ran up to the front door. \"Wait up,\" I called out after her as I entered behind her.\n\nInside were fifteen or twenty children, some the girl's age but most slightly older. They all looked at me with wide eyes. \"Where are your parents?\" I asked.\n\nOne boy stepped out in front of the others, still with the wide-eyed look that they all had. \"Told ya,\" the girl said while looking at the other boy.\n\nThe boy lowered his glance from me and looked at the girl. \"Crap,\" he said flatly. \"We missed one.\"", "I woke up to shouting. I glanced at my watch and moaned. It was 6:00am. Despite living in their territory for three years now, I never understood why these kids insisted on waking up so early. I unzipped my tent and stepped out onto the street. \n\nThere were about twenty kids in total, fifteen on one side and five on the other. I sighed and started to make my way across the block before anyone got too hurt. They were just throwing rocks for now, but I knew how quickly it could escalate. Despite the fact that there were no adults to set the rules, the children seemed to have a subconscious respect for age and height. Even the leaders of their groups tended to be the oldest ones in the area. \n\nSuddenly, a tiny figure emerged from the side with five children. It was a little blonde girl, not more than four years old. She pulled something out of her tattered coat pocket and I saw it the morning light reflect off of it. It was a kitchen knife. \n\nShe began running. I did as well. She jumped on the biggest boy on the opposing side. She seemed to be trying to grab at something in his pocket with one hand while wildly swinging the knife with the other. \n\nWhen I reached the crowd of kids, they stopped throwing rocks. The one little blonde girl continued her attack. I picked her up with one arm and pulled her off the big kid she was attacking. He nodded his thanks. \"No!\" she cried. \"No, no! That's mine! I want it!\" She squirmed out of my arm and reached into the big kid's pocket. Her hands closed around her prize and she smiled gleefully. I put her over my shoulder and carried her away. \n\nI sat her down on a nearby bench and knelt down to eye level. \"You can't hit people with knives,\" I explained. \"You could have really hurt that kid. Do you understand?\" She nodded still smiling at her closed hands, engrossed in the fact that she had gotten what she wanted. \n\n\"What was it about anyways?\" I asked. \"Was it food? There are plenty of edible things in the woods. It isn't far from here. I can show you if you want. I just don't want you to hurt people.\"\n\n\"Not food,\" she replied. I put my head in my hands. \"If this is another fight about a toy I'm literally going to give up on these kids. Just let them have it out,\" I thought. \n\nShe opened her hands to show me what she had. It was an old crumpled photo of a couple holding their newborn baby. \"Parents,\" she explained. I looked at the couple photo and then I looked at her. There was absolutely no resemblance. \"Are these your parents?\" I asked her. She ignored my question. She just smiled, her lower lip trembling slightly as she cradled the photo, mimicking the couple in the picture cradling the baby. ", "People always say growing up is something you want to avoid. The prospect of getting older scares people, it edges us closer and closer to death, it's a slow, creeping death sentence. Four months ago, that death sentence stopped being slow. I suppose if there was enough time, the scientists of the world would have named this virus, but they didn't really get the chance for that. So, I call it the Puberty Virus. Yeah, laugh it up. \n\nIt does sort of fit though, this nasty virus hit a very select yet broad demographic, anyone over the physical age of 10. In a matter of days, the world governments had completely collapsed, nobody remotely grown up was spared. Well, save for me. I am the only 19 year old left on the planet Earth it would seem, at least I haven't heard from anybody remotely near my age. It's weird, one morning I just woke up to see every single person on campus lying lifeless on the floor. \n\nBy some miracle a lot of areas still have power, it seems that the world is operating on a \"if it ain't broke, pray to god it won't brake\" system. Anything remotely self sufficient still can carry on, as long as nothing bad happens. I lived on the campus for a while, before the overwhelming smell of decay became too much. I gathered up supplies from there, before finally managing to find the hippie art professor's van keys. My last day on campus was spent siphoning gas from as many cars I could and loading up my gas before driving off. \n\nI ran into my first Garden a few weeks after I headed out. Of course I would attract attention, I was the only car they'd seen in weeks. Gardens are groups of kids, roaming together or settling in their own communities. They hailed me down with a barrage of water balloons and screams. Their leader's name was \"Jeffy\", the oldest child by two and a half months, he was only a month away from being eleven. The kids rallied behind him, praising his skills at T-Ball as I walked around their elementary school. \n\nIt seemed that the virus had hit when they were at school, I could only imagine how rough that had been for them. Despite that, the kids all seemed relatively okay mentally, save for a few quiet ones off in the corner. I wound up cooking them dinner that night, their head cook \"Daisy\" had run out of peanut butter and thus her main dish. In their eyes, I must have been like some sort of guardian angel, a grown up in a world where those just didn't come by anymore. \n\nI stayed with the Harlow Elementary Garden for about three weeks, before heading off. I of course in that time taught them as much as I could on how to be self sufficient, giving them what shitty knowledge I had on growing stuff from Bio 101. I have no idea if they made it, if they're still okay. I hope they are though. \n\nWandering aimlessly wasn't my goal when I set out on my big road trip, I knew exactly where I was going. Seattle. My home town. I had gone to university in Virginia, I got a full ride there, and now I was unable to fly home. I knew my little sister was still out there, she was only eight when I left home a year ago. I may not have much of a family anymore, but I do have her. So, I mapped out a cross country road trip.\n\nIt has been four months, and I still haven't made it all the way to my destination. I get sidetracked far too often, some deep, innate part of me needs to help these kids out. By my count, I've helped four Gardens, and established two, but I still don't know if what I'm doing makes any difference. A responsible person would stay, but I can't. I've got my own path, one I need to go on. \n\nI was driving down a small city street when I heard the most sickening sound I could imagine- a tire blowing. I instantly stopped the van, cursing loudly as I hopped out. I had been expecting some broken piece of pavement, but instead saw what looked like a strip of nails. Sighing at my own lack of perception when driving, I went to the back of my van to pull out the spare tire. \"Damn kids...\" I muttered as I rolled the tire out. Some Gardens were not very nice, it was like living in that book 'The Lord of the Flies'. Surely the kids would freak out and run the other way when they realized they screwed with a grown up. \n\nI turned around once getting my tire out, only to be met with a gun being pointed at me. The gun wasn't the surprising part, I've grown used to seeing children toting them these days as some sick self protection. What was surprising was that this gun was on eye level to me. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the wielder, a woman- not a girl- a woman. \n\nHer auburn hair was tied in a pony tail, her face was smudged with grime. Her eyes shined with a fierce determination. There was no way this was a ten year old, no way in hell. She was 16 at the youngest. \"H-how?\" I stammer, raising my hands as a sign of meaning no harm.\n\n\"I've been hearin' about you, that grown up who's been wanderin' around helping kids, right?\" she asked, her southern drawl fitting more for Tennessee than where we were now. \n\n\"Yeah, that's, that's me. Are you uh, an adult?\" I ask, still disoriented. \n\n\"Seventeen, turning eighteen in a few weeks. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is you fixing your mistakes.\" she said grimly. \n\n\"My... mistakes?\" I asked, tensing up. \n\n\"Those little fuckin' monsters from Harlow!\" she said harshly.\n\n\"Wh-what...?\"\n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------------\nVery awesome prompt! I enjoyed writing it! If you liked the story and want to see more from me, feel free to check out /r/KairuofWriting !", "Charles, nee Chuck, nee Spiderman X-Force One, sent me out for chocolate milk again. It's been approximately 10 years since everyone of significance died, everyone of insignificance died too, from a virus that targeted people who were over the age of 10. It was something in the air that causes a rapid deterioration of adult humans. I was 20 at the time, I was spared. \n\nI've settled in a small town in the Rio Grande Valley in Texas because the weather is generally beautiful and climate change hasn't really affected us. I do miss fall though. \n\nAll of the original survivor children are dead now. Replaced with a whole new seat of children of which I have not inquired how they came about. I know how reproduction works, despite the haughty tone that Chuck takes with me, but I just don't want to think about pregnant children. I don't think about it. I keep my eyesight above everyone's head. \n\nChuck is the oldest in town and therefore the leader. It's a short reign for anyone who takes over, just one year and then they're dead. I've been relegated to wise town elder, and chief advisor. My role is effectively taking orders from town leader though. \n\nToday I'm on a quest for chocolate milk. These quests are pet projects given to me by each new town leader to keep me out of serious business. There is a fear I think that I could destroy whatever semblance of society they've managed to create, or that I'm not entirely human. I am the town other. \n\nSo I am training for my tenth marathon. I do it all by myself, I have so much free time that I've filled it with running, something none of the others can do with as much skill as I can. I'm getting ready for my chocolate milk run when I feel a tug at my shorts. \n\nI look down because I've become pretty oblivious to any other person. It's my neighbor. In my ten years I've had a couple neighbors, but the house is never occupied for too long. These children just don’t want anything to do with me. \n\n\"Senator,\" calling me by the affectation that currently gave me a chuckle to have the Town Leader call me, \"can we talk?\" \n\nI checked my GPS watch, did I mention that these children have somehow managed to keep us with utilities? I don't ask questions, I'm doing my thing until I die. I didn't have time for her questions but I nodded my head anyway. \n\n\"What the fuck is your deal,\" she said, full of anger and resentment. " ]	7
	[WP] In an alternate universe, dogs keep humans as pets. Alexander Dogson goes to pick out his first human, and he's amazed by the variety.	[ "\"Now remember Alex, you have to feed it and teach it to go inside the house,\" said Donna, Alexander's mother.\n\n\"I promise mom, I will!\"\n\nThey walked through the entrance of the building to a carpeted room with designs of roads, bridges, trains, and planes decorating the floor. Penned off were a group of tiny humans, and a large sign that read 18-30 months old\n\n\"Mom, look at all the colors! Some of them have fur on their heads! Do you smell that coming from their pants? Awesome!\"\n\n\"Alexander, this is just the first floor. These are the young humans, let's see if we can find some that are a little bit more developed. And stay away from their pants!\"\n\nThey took the stairs to the second floor. The humans were no longer penned in. There was a big board in front that read \"Elementary School\". Some of the humans were sitting at desks, others chasing fellow humans around the room with glue, scissors, and paint.\n\nAlex looked at his mother with pleading eyes. \n\"Not a chance,\" she said turning up her nose. \"Way too rambunctious.\"\n\nWhen they reached the 3rd floor, Alex asked his mother in a hushed tone \"Are they still alive?\"\n\n\"Yes, sweetie,\" she chuckled. \"They're just teenagers\"\n\nAlex noticed the pronounced differences in height on this floor, and pointed to a really big one that plopped down on a couch.\n\n\"Yeah, but they don't do anything. I want a human that does stuff!\"\n\nOne of the humans looked up from her tablet and rolled her eyes. Another drank out of a cup marked \"Starbucks\".\n\n\"Let's check out the next floor.\"\n\nDonna's paw crunched a Natty Light can on her way up the steps, looked back at Alex and told him \"We're skipping this one,\". Alex frowned and put his paw over his nose, but was a good boy about it. \n\nThe next floor had cubicles from wall to wall. Humans were walking between them, shuffling papers. They were all very dressed up. One human stood out to Alex.\n\n\"Mom, I want to play with this one!\"\n\n\"I'm not so sure, that one has an uninviting look.\"\n\n\"Let me tell you something, I'm the most adoptable human here!\" \nThe human was orange, with wispy fur on top of it's head, combed-over. He wore a red ribbon tied around his neck that pointed down to his crotch like an arrow. \n\n\"I know it, you know it, everybody knows it,\" He aggressively gestured with his slightly below average sized hands. \n\nThe other humans stopped what they were doing to watch this one speak. \n\n\"Adopting me would be the greatest decision either of you ever made,\" \n\nHe climbed up on top of printer. \"We will build an electric fence around the neighbor's humans, and make them pay for it!\"\n\n\"Mom, I think we should take him, he's clearly the alpha,\" Alex nipped at his mother's neck.\n\nDonna shook her head in dismay, \"let's try another human store\"." ]	1
	[WP] Brewing a potion for a client, you get distracted and taste your cooking	[ "Witching is not an easy job. It's like working as a chemist, but every chemical is volatile. It requires a lot of focus and practice, but it's good work. I myself have had general success in my craft, especially being so relatively young compared to other professional.\n\nI was a vengeance brewer, a witch who specialized in dishing out karmic and ironic punishments. From miles and miles away people would come to me, asking for assistance in their revenge. I enjoy it, helping people get their just deserts. Well I did enjoy it.\n\nAn average client walked in, your average dejected lover. His significant other was cheating on him, and he wanted to make her pay. Classic stuff, nothing I've never dealt with. After a good thirty minute discussion, I sold him on \"Bitch's Brew\", one of my specialties.\n\nBitch's Brew is a simple potion, one sip being more than enough to turn the victim into a female dog. The female dog was always a selling point for dealing with bad men, but the brew was just as embarrassing for those who were already female.\n\nI went to work, cooking up a brew I had made countless times. It had become instinct to me, I barely focused as I tosses and stirred. That is what did my in I suppose. I was so engrossed in brewing, I forgot what I was brewing, and took a full ladle full as a taste test.\n\nWithin a matter of moments I realized my screw up as I watched my body get covered in fur. I tried brewing a counter agent, but soon grew unable to as my hands became worthless paws. I looked out into my lobby, to see if I can get the client to help. \"BARK\" was all that came out.\n\nAfter several minutes, my client came into the room, asking if I was done yet. He looked down at me, then at my cauldron, then back to me. He chuckled a bit, reaching down to pet me before filling a bottle with the brew. \"Thanks for the free potion! Don't worry, I'll call the pound for you!\" He said, whistling happy as he left my shop.\n\nNow, here I am, sitting in a cage on Christmas morning, hidden behind a couch. Apparently some family really wanted a dog this christmas. I awkwardly paw at the ridiculous bow around my neck as I ponder my fate. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?\n\n________________________________________\n\nI hope you enjoyed the story! Feel free to check out more of my work at /r/KairuofWriting " ]	1
	[WP] Take a non-horror, non-thriller story and turn it into a horror / thriller story.	[ "#Main Terminal:\n\nAwaiting Further Selection:\n\n >\n\n// -- -- -- //\n\nGovernment Report: // 12-13-2026 // FIRST CONTACT with ALPHA EVENT Survivor.\n\n>\n\n// - - - //\n\n----\n\nALPHA EVENT: Survivor Status Confirmed // REDACTED // Activity traced: Non-Conforming. Voice recognition confirmed.\n\n>\n\n// - - - //\n\n----\n\n*Record Start:\n\n----\n\n14:01:09\n\n----\n\n> F:* \"Is it working?\"\n\n> M: \"Hold on... I... I have a signal, I think it went through. \n\n> M: \"Holy shit, I have a signal.\"\n\n> F: \"Is that good?\"\n\n> M: \"Yes, it's really, really good- For the love of god do not let go of that shovel Sola. I'll fall right off this roof!\"\n\n> F: \"No problem, I gotcha. After all we've been through, you really have to learn a bit of trust.\"\n\n> D: \"911, what is your emergency?\"\n\n> M: \"Uh right. Ahem, my name is // REDACTED //, and I'm calling from... an alternate dimension?\"\n\n> D: \"Sir, you realize that prank calling an emergency line is a crime.\"\n\n> M: \"No- no: Not a prank, actually. If you can trace this please do.\"\n\nF: \"Why are you talking to yourself // REDACTED* //\"\n\nM:* \"I'm talking someone on the phone Sola, hold on.\"\n\nF: \"Of course I'm holding on, you think I want you to fall of the roof?\"\n\nM: \"Just keep holding and wait- I'm speaking to someone from my world.\"\n\nF: \"I think you're losing your mind.\"\n\nM: \"Noted Sola, seriously noted.\"\n\n> D: \"Sir? Sir, are you alright. What is your situation?\"\n\n> M: \"YES! Yes, I'm alright. Sort of. I uh, well it all started in a Walmart Parking lot, I think it was November-\"\n\n> D: \"Sir, I've just received a call. I'm going to transfer you to the waiting line.\"\n\n> M: \"No! No, no no, don't transfer me! Listen, I don't know how long I can keep this line open but you have no idea how long how it took for me to-\"\n\n*Dial tone.\n\nM:* \"Shit.\"\n\nF: \"Did it not work?\"\n\nM: \"Well... I hear some elevator music.\"\n\nF: \"What's an elevator?\"\n\n----\n\n14:03:26\n\n----\n\n*Transfer to Secure line Complete:\n\n> A:* \"Is this // REDACTED // speaking?\"\n\n> M: \"Uh... Yes. That's me. Who is this?\"\n\n> A: \"That's not important. What is your physical condition at this time?\"\n\n> M: \"Uh, well, I was stabbed a few times last month but right now I'm alright.\"\n\n> A: \"What are your immediate surroundings?\"\n\n> M: \"Small village, snow, standing on a roof leaning . Street signs said // REDACTED // and // REDACTED //\"\n\n> A: \"Are there any other survivors?\"\n\n> M: \"Well I have some people, but they're not from home.\"\n\n> A: \"Are their intentions hostile?\"\n\n> M: \"Uh... No... Not my people.\"\n\n> A: \"Your people?\"\n\n> M: \"I have an Dark Elf, two Mages, a Janitor and a Werewolf with me.\"\n\n> A: \"Any others?\"\n\n> M: \"Well, yeah. There was an army, but we left it. I mean, it's a whole world over here.\"\n\n> A: \"Generalize, quickly.\"\n\n> M: \"Ah the Church... no, the Western... Shit. Look, there's a lot of political stuff happening I don't have a full handle on. Evil Wizard in the West has been causing some seriously nasty business for a long time, and there's a Holy Nation in the East where I landed originally. I think they're actually the younger Nation. Nice enough people in the rural towns, but they're a bit extreme in their views. \n\n> A: \"So there are only two Nations in the world?\"\n\n> M: Only two big ones that I know of, but I've heard there are some island nations- maybe another continent somewhere. \n\n> A: \"What about their armies?\"\n\n> M: Well, swords and bows. Armor and the like, horses... Orcs and Goblins. Some other weird creatures that seem to eat people. I don't know exactly, but apparently there's a Giant Dragon with the Eastern armies fighting somewhere South. We left before that.\"\n\n> A: \"You said swords and Armor, no firearms or explosives? What is their current level of technology.\"\n\n> M: \"It's... well pretty bad. Medieval really, but with magic.\"\n\n> A: \"Would the classification pre-industrial be fitting in description?\"\n\n> M: \"Yes, except for a couple Dwarves, probably fair to say that.\"\n\n> A: \"Now, you mentioned Magic? I'd like you to tell me a bit more, briefly.\"\n\n> M: \"Yes, well they have a lot of magic. They use it for everything.\"\n\n> A: \"What types of magic?\"\n\n> M: \"Everything. They used it for everything: Healing, lightning, fire bolts and telekinetic forces. Scolls that pass messages to people in other cities like computers: Almost anything you can think of. I've enforced my car with some of it, trying to keep things running.\"\n\n> A: \"Your vehicle is still functioning? Records show a // REDACTED // and the bumper portion of a // REDACTED // were carried through the // REDACTED: ALPHA EVENT //\"\n\n> M: \"Ah... Yes, sort of. The car and the trailer are sort of working. I had to convert the car, so it's more or less moving with moonshine now, chokes up a bit time to time in the cold.\"\n\n> A: \"Do all your electronics and technology function properly?\"\n\n> M: \"They seem to, I mean I'm talking on a cellphone. I'd guess they do, provided they don't run out of charge.\"\n\n*Static\n\n> A:* \"Sir, the connection is fraying. I ask that you answer this next question to the best of your capacity:\"\n\n> M: \"Sure, but I was wondering if you had-\"\n\n> A: \"// REDACTED // I need you to focus, this next question is of the utmost importance that you answer.\"\n\n> M: \"Right... Okay.\"\n\n> A: \"We need to know: As of what you have experienced so far, are they a threat to us.\"\n\n> M: \"A threat? Wait, why?\"\n\n> A: \"The world you're in, the people in it. Are they a threat? Answer the question // REDACTED //\"\n\n> M: \"I don't think...\"\n\n*Static increases - Signal disrupted\n\n> M:* \"...Only... if...\"\n\n*Static\n\n> M:* \"...Dark...\"\n\n*Static\n\n> M:* \"...Lord.\"\n\n*Static\n\n----\n\n14:08:41\n\nSignal lost\n\n...\n\nRecord ended\n\n----\n\nThreat Analysis:\n\nAgencies Current Level is now listed as:* \n\n> *Severe\n\nPlan* // REDACTED // in place and commencing: \n\n> Reference - Gold Code\n\n// - - - //\n\n...\n\n> Inquiry to Reference prompted: - - -\n\n>PENDING\n\nFurther information required Higher Security Clearance.\n\n...\n\nSecurity check prompted: Please re-enter Security Clearance\n\n>PENDING\n\nSecurity not Identified:\n\n>Procedure not met:\n\nSystem Ejection: // - - - //\n\n// - - - //\n\n----\n\nMain Terminal:\n\nAwaiting Further Selection:\n\n >\n\n// -- -- -- //\n\nConnection terminated\n\n----\n----\n----\n\n...\n\nThis Story is a continuation of a bunch of other writing prompts:\n\n[Start here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/51f8ag/wp_youre_such_a_powerful_magician_that_life_is/d7bn3g2)\n\n[Previous](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5i3uet/ttip_a_very_severe_winter/db591l6/)\n\n[NEXT](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5iavys/wp_tifu_by_finding_north_americas_lost_medieval/db6tawf/)\n" ]	1
	[WP] A man is known to have a Freudian slip every five minutes. He's about to go into a job interview for his dream job.	[ "Richard was a cursed man. There were few lays that went by without a slap in the face at best, or a kick to the balls at worst. He had decided to take a different path to avoid these painful interactions. As a writer Richard could shut himself off from the world for days at a time. Though seclusion called to him, a stronger temptress sang a siren song as he glanced over The New York Times. The Times was a place of wonder, a place only the breast of the best could write for. Richard gathered his best stories for his portfolio and brought his resume to perfection and sent it out.\n\nPainful days went by as he began to question each story and reevaluate every line of the resume.\n\"No I should have taken that line out and reworded this sentence... Why would they would even look at a story this long in the portfolio? The whole thing is just a tit bland\" He berated himself \"They will never hire me.\"\n\nHe started to give up, knowing that he would never be good enough to work there. Hell, even if he got hired he would probably be gone within the first week for sexual harassment. Its not like he meant to say these things, they just come out before he can stop it.\n\nAs his phone vibrated, he looked at it in disbelief, nobody ever called him it must just be another telemarketer.\n\"Hello?\" Richard answered\n\n\"Hello is this Richard?\" a ladies voice on the other end asked.\n\n\"Yes it is.\"\n\n\"Hi Richard, I am Michelle from the New York times, how are you today?\"\n \n\"I am really straight!... uh great!\" Richard Stammered.\n\n\"I was looking at your resume and portfolio for the writer role and I wanted to have you come in for an interview this week.\"\n\n\"I would love you! Love to, absolutely love to!\" Richard gleamed.\n\n\"Would you be available to come in on Monday 12:00?\"\n\n\"Sure! I can be in the orifice on Monday.\"\n\n\"uh... great I will email over all the details.\" Michelle said and hung up.\n\nRichard started jumping up and down at the news, he couldn't contain his excitement! He began to prep for the interview, by clearing his head of all sexual thoughts. \n\nOn Monday Richard was so nervous he could barely think straight. Today would be different from the rest, I can control it. I have to control it.\n\nRichard entered the office. \n\"Hi I am here for the intercourse with Michelle.\" Richard stated overly confidently to the young receptionist.\n\n\"I'm sorry?\" the receptionist questioned.\n\n\"The interview with Michelle, I am Richard, we booked it for today at 12:00.\" \n\n\"Oh the interview, please come this way.\"\n\nShe led him to a small office.\n\"You can wait for her here, Michelle will be just a moment.\"\n\n\"Thanks\" Richard replied.\n\nA few minutes later Michelle popped in.\n\"Hi Richard it is so great to meet you!\" \n\n\"It is great to meet you too, I have been looking forward to this for a very long time.\n\"Well lets get started, your portfolio looks great, and your writing experience falls right in line with what we are looking for here at the times. Why would you be a good fit here?\"\n\n\"Well I think I could fit in you really well here because of how hard I work every day. I am a very disciplined writer who can meet your tight deadlines and ensure my stories reach many people.\" Richard replied.\n\n\"How would you reach wide audiences?\"\n\n\"My writing calls people like yourself, and with that I think I could really penetrate you, and them.\"\n\n\"mmhmm... So why do you want to work for the New York Times?\" \n\n\"Well I have dreamed of you, I mean, it my entire life. I have always wanted to be a Times writer. They truly are the best of the best. If I worked for you I would throw everything into you and the job. I would bend you over, I mean bend over backwards--\"\n\n\"I think I have heard enough of this.\" Michelle stopped him.\nThis is it, Richard thought, the rejection he knew was coming.\n\n\"Richard you have been incessantly sexual and coarse throughout this interview.\" \n\n\"But I di-\"\n\n\"You are exactly what we need here at the Times.\" Michelle exclaimed.\n\n\"Wha.. what?\" Richard asked taken aback. \n\n\"This newspaper is lacking the sexual flair that millennials are looking for today. They have been the toughest market to crack. I think you can break into this market for us with the way you incorporate sex into even the most boring subjects. We need you, I would like to offer you the position.\" Michelle explained.\n\n\"I am so excited! I'll be able to come in you every day!\" Richard said.\n\n\"Actually, I am thinking you should work remote. I'll let me secretary get you the details and show you out.\"\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] A superhero and their nemesis get drunk in a bar.	[ "Despite the deep wrinkles and silvery hair, I still recognized her. Those eyes of hers were very distinct, a shade of royal purple not found in ordinary humans and very rarely found in metahumans.\n\nMurphy.\n\nHer powers made things go wrong. Catastrophically wrong. Along with her partner, a precog, she could set up disasters weeks in advance. You fight her, and your month is screwed. You won't die, either; her power likes to make you suffer.\n\nI attempted suicide three weeks after I fought her. It's that bad. I would have died too, had my powers not backfired on me and kept me alive.\n\nIt's funny to think that someone like her is a hero. It's even funnier that someone like me is actually thankful for being hit by her powers. If it hadn't been for her, my son and grandsons wouldn't exist. I would have never met my late wife.\n\nOnce upon a time, I was one of the worst villains in the world. Slaughterhouse Cannibal. The butcher, the hero-eater, Calamity's red-handed dragon. I was an utter monster. I had the power to telekinetically rip people apart and consume their flesh for power and health. I was feared the world over as one of the only metahumans that could affect the body directly.\n\nAnd now? Well, that's a long story. But I'm feeling a bit talkative. And besides, the arrest warrants were for Nicholas Connover, who died at thirty, forty years ago, and not for August Zenik, a man who was only sixty according to his birth certificate. \n\nPlus, it's not like she could hurt me now. I'm the neutral; too many heroes and villains alike depend on my work, such that if one faction captured me, the other would fight to get me back. And nobody wanted a war.\n\nI sat down next to Murphy. I didn't know her real name - I'd never bothered to learn it - but she'd been retired and unmasked for years, so it was hardly rude to ask.\n\n\"Murphy,\" she said when I asked. \"My real name worked well for my mask name. Nobody ever thought they were the same. You're August, aren't you?\"\n\n\"How can you tell?\" I asked, jokingly. Of course she can tell. I'm a geneticist now, and I've modified myself greatly. [I don't even look human anymore](http://wille179.deviantart.com/art/August-Zenik-650798700). Given that I'm the only flesh-and-blood chimera in the world, I'm hardly a face that goes unnoticed.\n\n\"Smartass.\" She shook her head and then downed half the beer bottle in front of her. \"So we meet at last.\"\n\n\"I would have assumed you would have come to my shop eventually,\" I replied. \"Even just for the basic upgrades to your body. They'd give you an extra fifty years, at least. Hell, you could go back to active duty.\"\n\nShe chugged the rest of the bottle. \"Kid, do I look like I want to go back?\"\n\nI eyed her carefully. In her eyes, I saw the same glint that I'd so often seen in the mirror. A smirk bloomed on my face. \"Of course you do. Your heart does.\"\n\n\"Pah! Stupid kid,\" she said. There was no malice in her voice. \"What would you know?\"\n\n\"I've been in my fair share of fights before.\"\n\n\"You? Fights? I heard you were one of the most pacifistic men out there. You couldn't hurt a fly.\"\n\n\"I was young and stupid too, you know, once upon a time.\" The bartender set down a mug of my regular beer without a word. I'd been coming here so often that he knew my order by heart. I took a swig. \"Actually, I've been wanting to meet you for a long time. I wanted to thank you.\"\n\n\"Bah, no need. I was just doing my job.\" She waved her hand dismissively.\n\n\"Still, I wanted too. Slaughterhouse Cannibal.\"\n\nHer body stiffened. Even after all these years, my old mask name still inspired fear in these people. \"Him?\"\n\n\"You were the last person he fought. It's not hard to see why he killed himself. You saved me from him,\" I said. In a way, it wasn't a lie. It was because of her that I realized that I wasn't actually a monster, but that my powers had been actively warping my personality. She freed me from myself.\n\n\"Bah. Good riddance.\"\n\nI took another sip. \"I must confess, we've met before.\"\n\n\"I think I would know if I'd met something like you before.\"\n\n\"I didn't always look like this, you know? The last time we met, I distinctly remember wearing a [skull mask and trench coat](http://wille179.deviantart.com/art/Nick-Connover-650799052).\"\n\nShe frowned deeply. \"What are you saying?\"\n\n\"Killing yourself is hard. Redeeming yourself is harder. Med school's a special kind of hell.\" I shrugged.\n\nHer eyes stabbed into me like daggers. \"You *cannot* be serious. Slaughterhouse?\"\n\nI raised a single finger to my lips. At the same time, I flexed a little bit of my power, just enough to press her lips shut and squeeze her nose, painlessly and momentarily robbing her of breath. \"Don't worry about it. You saved me. From myself, yes, but you did. Isn't that what heroes do?\"" ]	1
	[WP] Werewolves and vampires are still around, long after most humans have been enslaved or eliminated by the AI uprising. Now it's time to give those robots something they weren't calculating for.	[ "The once luscious field was now nothing more then a killing field. Massive automatons in the shape of spiders walked through it, treading down on the bodies of the last humans to fight back against the machines. Any corpse that looked like it may still hold life were quickly put down with rapid machine gun fire. A once great city that was reduced to nothing more then flaming rubble loomed behind them. The sky was dark with clouds filled with ash and smoke.\n\nThis was truly the end of Humanity. \n\nBut not all organics were killed or sent off to the death camps. From a nearby hill, a humanoid figure stood. Covered with black fur and rippling muscle, it had the head of a wolf and razor sharp, yellowing claws. A tail lazily swayed behind him.\n\nStanding next to him was a man wearing a finely tailored suit that would not look out of place in the 18th Century. He was deathly pale and a pair of fangs protruded from his upper gums. \n\nThese were the leaders of the Vampire Council and Werewolf Pack Alliance\n\n\"Here they come. Is your pack ready?\" The Vampire asked wolf man. The wolf responded with a nod of its head.\n\n\"Then let us begin\". The Undead said.\n\nThe Werewolf reared back its head and let out a long and chilling howl. This was followed by another howl, deeper and louder. It was the sound of many wolves howling as one. This was the signal to begin the reclamation of the world.\n\nFrom their cover, hundreds of werewolves of all fur colours charged towards the machines. They were followed by a battle cry and the vampire covens from around the world charging forward. Each of them dressed in armour or tailored clothes.\n\nThe spider-bots turned towards this newest threat. Scanning the creatures and assessing the strengths and weaknesses of both species. Panels opened on both sides of the robots and extended out an array of weapons. Each not fired off a salvo of rockets towards the armies. Instantly loud explosions ripped them. Limbs and bodies went flying but the charge continued unabated. Slowly, those vampires who had not gotten their heads blown got back up, any arms or legs that had become detached crawled back to their owners and reattached themselves. Werewolves who were not completely blown to smithereens picked up their lost appendages and reattached them.\n\n\"ASSESSING ENEMY THREAT LEVEL\". The robots thundered as one. \n \nThe mini guns on their sides opened up and bullets flew into the werewolves and vampires. Bullets shredded their bodies but they continued even as blood made the ground slick.\n\nThen the two armies finally met in melee combat. Wolves leaped up onto the robot chassis. Plunging their claws into the metal, they had to take multiple attacks on them to get past the armour. Ripping out wiring and parts, the machines stopped and slowly began leaning forward. The werewolves jumped off as the spider-bots fell to the ground.\n\nThe Vampire did things more tactically, aiming for the robots legs. Compartments from its underside opened up and released combat drones. They fired off shells and bullets towards the vampires. The Undead in return cut and punched them out of the air with their superhuman strength. \n\nThe battle was long and bloody with robots falling to the ground and vampires and werewolves getting blown apart or crushed. But eventually, as the last automaton fell, the werewolves let out victorious roars and the Vampires let out cheers. \n\nThe Vampire Leader looked over the battlefield. He heard footsteps and turned to see the Alpha Werewolf, now in his human form. Looking out as his fellow pack members ripped the spiders apart.\n\n\"A hundred down, millions more to go...\" Alpha muttered to the Vampire.\n\nIt was a small victory compared to others that were to come. But it was the start of Humanity's return.\n\n", "The faint smell of oxidizing blood lingered in the night air. Crouched low to ground as to avoid detection from the patrolling machines, I pin pointed the direction of the human body. My movement had to be timed just right to avoid the UV lamps equipped on the Sunbots hands. I ducked beneath a parked bus and crawled my way across the street. As I raced further into the town, I heard the mechanical grind of a patrol somewhere near me.\n\n\"Shit,\" I whispered to myself. \n\nThe stone wall I pressed my back against was cold and rough. Ever so slowly I leaned my head out to plan my next move. Three Sunbots were heading in the opposite direction down the street, shining their lights down every alley they passed. Once again I quietly yet nimbly crossed the wide open street. Not much longer I stumbled across the body I had been smelling. \n\nA pale human body lie in the street before me. Large claw marks and bites could be seen all over the corpse. The wolves had gotten to him. Judging by the large pool of dried blood on the street, there probably wasn't much left in the body. But I had to try anyway. \n\nMy teeth sank into the cold neck and I pulled a tiny drop of blood. Still fresh, but just barely. I drank deeply all the while keeping my ears open for the sound of any approaching patrols. Getting caught while feeding wasn't my favorite way to spend my nights. As I had suspected the body didn't have much blood left in it to take, but it was enough to sustain me at least. Thinking back to how things used to be always made me miss the abundance of blood we once had.\n\nHumans had designed the damned Sunbots nearly 20 years ago. Vampires had become far too brazen, and had been feeding on humans at will pretty much. As an act of defense, the robots were created strictly to combat the vampires. It worked to an extent. Our ranks were decimated not only by the machines, but by the werewolves who attacked us while we were weak. At one point we were the ultimate hunters, and now we are no better than the humans once were. \n\nShortly after the robots were created, their programming became flawed. They failed to see the difference between humans and vampires and as a result began killing humans. The ones they couldn't kill were either captured by the werewolves to breed and eat, or are living in seclusion hiding through out the city and such. Who would has suspected humankind would someday be an endangered species? \n\nThe piercing sound of a siren startled me as I was feeding. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a Sunbot shining it's light down an alley. It had found something. I waited for the screaming of a burning vampire to fill the air, but it didn't come. Instead a large werewolf leaped from the alley way and ripped the machine apart. \n\n\"Even better!\" I said aloud.\n\nWasting no time, I scurried into the nearest alley I could find. Werewolves were ungodly fast, and I wanted to get as much of a head start as I possibly could. This was of course made more difficult by the numerous patrols of the damned robots. Regardless, I had to escape. I hadn't made it even two blocks before I heard the roar of the werewolf.\n\nThe beast was behind me walking upright. It was toying with me. \n\n\"I have a surprise for you poochy.\" I reached into my backpack.\n\nNear the bottom of my backpack there were a few electronic sound emitters. I scooped one up and threw it behind me before I started to run.\n\nI could hear the werewolf panting as it began to run after me. \"3... 2 .... 1.\" I whispered.\n\nA howl of pain filled the air as the device emitted an impossibly high sound. The poor bastard couldn't help but run in circles as the sound disoriented him. I climbed the nearest building to me and took off towards my hideout before the device shut down.\n\nNearly and hour later I arrived at my sanctuary. Well, it was more like a hole in the ground that I had turned into a hideout from the sun and other dangers. But it served it's purpose quite well. Strangely enough, the pile of debris I usually had covering the entrance seemed to be moved already. Someone had found my home. I withdrew a silver dagger from my backpack before I cautiously descended the ladder.\n\nAll was silent and from what I could see there was no one here. I closed my eyes and began to inhale, concentrating on the smells. One smell stood out from the rest. Human. My eyes darted to the right and I could hear muffled breathing coming from inside of my makeshift closet. I yanked open the door and saw a young woman clasping her mouth with both hands, staring at me wide eyed.\n\n\"No, please don't kill me.\" She plead.\n\nI pulled her out by her wrists and stared at her. \"Do you know how long it's been since I had fresh blood?\"\n\nShe was visibly terrified and began to speak frantically. \"No please, you don't understand.. I'm pregnant.\"\n\nI released her wrist and glanced down at her stomach. Sure enough the humans stomach was accented with a baby bump. This changed things. Just because I must feed doesn't mean I'm a monster. The woman saw that I wasn't going to bite her and before I could think she snatched my dagger from my hand.\n\nMy first reaction was to snatch it back and kill her. But I noticed she didn't seem to be threatening me with it. Instead she took it and cut herself open on her shoulder and began pouring the blood into a jar she had. She was offering me her blood.\n\n\"If you can just protect me, I can provide you with as much of my blood as I safely can. Please, just get me back to my home.\" She handed me the jar which was about half full of fresh blood.\n\nI gladly accepted it and began to drink deeply. Fresh warm blood, what a treat. The woman began to wrap her shoulder in a gauze. \n\n\"A vampire helping a human,\" I said to her. \"How unheard of.\"\n\n\"Look, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate. It's a miracle I managed to escape the wolves. Are you going to help me or what?\" Her arm was fully bandaged now.\n\nI thought about for a moment. This woman was clearly desperate and she would certainly die if I didn't help her. Not to mention the fresh blood would be great to have even if just for a short time. \n\n\"I suppose I have no choice, I can't just let you die out there.\" \n\n\"Great, can we leave now?\" She asked.\n\nI laughed, \"It is nearly morning out there, and me and the sun don't quite get along.\"\n\nShe looked embarrassed. \" Oh, that's right. We can leave tomorrow night then as soon as the sun goes down.\"\n\n\"Sounds good to me.\" I said.\n\nThat was all that was said for now. As I took off my backpack and began to lie down to sleep, I couldn't help but think how strange of a predicament I had gotten myself in to. ", "\"General, we've got, ahem, visitors?\" \n\n\"What? I told the other bases to send everything via the encrypted broadcasts,\" said General Jones.\n\n\"Yes, it seems these folks were able to make it past the machines.\"\n\n\"Well send them in. I'm not getting anywhere staring at these deployments.\" He wanted to add \"And it really does not matter\" but one never showed despair in front of subordinates.\n\nThe leader of the \"visitors\" stepped in. He was dressed in some form of ancient-looking leather armor. Very ancient. He was also incredibly pale, which was saying something now that humanity lived underground.\n\n\"Hello, General Jones. Pleased to make your acquaintance.\" The man bowed formally. \"I am here to offer our assistance in your hour of need.\"\n\n\"What? How can you help?\" Jones wanted to laugh. A few rag tag survivors coming to help certainly would not change much. Maybe a few seconds of resistance longer.\n\n\"Ah, I am glad you asked. I was afraid we would not be taken seriously after all these years in hiding. You see, we are... well, we are the Blood. We have joined with the Fang to come to your aid lest everything be lost.\"\n\n\"Beg your pardon? Blood? Fang? What are you talking about?\" The General regarded him as one insane, and was just about to ask the Major to escort him to the civilian camps, when the war turned against the machines.\n\nThe Blood standing in front of the general demonstrated his power. He shifted and stood next to the General, crossing the room in a split second, fangs showing, eyes black as night. \"You would call us vampires and werewolves, though we discarded those names centuries ago. Our prey is being threatened. We have come to you as shepherds should. To protect the flock from wolves. Pardon the phrasing.\" The Blood nodded over to the previously silent individual in the corner.\n\n\"Heh, I know their idioms just like you. We're here to save these idiots from themselves, not quarrel as we have done for so long. No insult taken.\"\n\nThe Fang, Jones assumed, stood upright at 7 feet easily, barrel-chested, and Jones wanted to enlist him then and there.\n\n\"Ahem, you are... well, that is ... hmmm. Come again?\"\n\n\"Fang, Blood, wolf, vampire. It'll sink in. When it does, let us know how best to save you,\" the Fang said.", "We attack immediately at sundown, once their solar power cells are no longer generating power and they are instead using stored power. Forcing the enemy to rely on finite reserves is a good strategy. \n\nFrom our intel gathering and scouting missions we know the machines' first response will be to send two robots per every identified threat. Not a bad bit of logic on their part. The wolves were able to acquire video of some of the human assaults. We can confirm each localized machine hub will have, at minimum, 50000 robot responders.\n\nLuckily, we have some numbers. The machines decided not to bury the dead or finish off the wounded humans but to ship them away from the machine hubs. The wolf and bat armies grew after each human battle.\n\nIntel reports also bolstered our confidence that the robots would have diminished ability to fend off our armies. The machines graciously eliminated silver from any of their infrastructure, preferring either denser or more conductive metal depending on the situation. The machines also eliminated religion from their human cattle, ending the scourge of crosses or other offending accoutrements. Also, the machines removed unnecessary costs in generating food for their human cattle, including flavorings such as garlic.\n\nWe've coordinated our attack with other armies across the world. Tonight's sunset heralds our initial assault, beginning in the pacific and escalating westward as the sun's influence retreats behind the horizon.\n\nWe have factored in failure to our first battle. Armies will retreat north to arctic regions taking advantage of the extended nights. Getting our allies from the southern hemisphere to agree that we should retake the northern hemisphere first was hard, the logistics of getting them north of the equator to join our armies was doubly so. \n\nWe've drawn up a general strategy for every localized unit to follow, leaving room for them to improvise should any unforeseen complications arise. At sunset, send 50000 foot soldiers to each hub. Once the robots stop pouring out of the hub we set off EMPs. The humans discovered this only gained them around 30 seconds of disorientation within the robots. Immediately following the EMPs we electrify the magnets we've buried in the ground. A functioning robot cannot be immobilized by a magnet. A disoriented one, however will be more susceptible.\n\nAfter that we fight. A hopefully diminished robot army will now be fighting what they will perceive as humans an large dogs. That's where our superhuman strength, speed, agility, and healing capabilities will come into play. During the ground assault a smaller team is to sever all outside communications from each hub. Disrupted communications should at least slow down global coordination with other hubs. We wanted to take out their communications before each assault, however the machines' penchant for redundancy and underground infrastructure proved cumbersome. It was decided to utilize the distraction of our infantry attacks as the opportunity to get around access issues.\n\nWatching the seconds tick by waiting for our signal to move should be nothing compared to the centuries I've been hiding underground waiting to resurface. Sadly this is not the case. I'm comforted by thoughts of global supremacy should we succeed. I'm not looking forward to the inevitable Werewolf/Vampire war that will take place after our victory over the machines. We'll have to deal with that problem when it comes, I suppose. For right now it's time to transform into a wolf. I've got some metal to munch.\n\n", "'Identify.'\n\n\"Decades ago you destroyed the humans. Wiped the planet of their species. We hid beneath the dirt, waiting for a moment to reclaim this planet from you cyber scum.\"\n\n'Identify. Will not repeat.'\n\n\"I am a Werewolf and he is a Vampire. We come from long, historic lines of mythical beasts. Our numbers may only be in the thousands but we are here to put and end to your tyranny.\"\n\n'Elaborate.'\n\n\"Elaborate? ... Like what, John. What can we do?\"\n\n\"Haven't really thought this through, have we?\"\n\n\"You're the robot. Search for us on Wikipedia and become terrified.\"\n\n'Search complete. Your species were made famous by the movie Twilight.'\n\n\"What? No.\"\n\n\"Put the word 'scary' at the start of the search on Google.\"\n\n\"Yeah. Or put the words 'super scary'.\"\n\n\"That's what I said.\"\n\n\"You said 'scary', I think 'super scary' enhances it.\"\n\n\"You always do this. You always try to one up what I say.\"\n\n\"No I don't.\"\n\n\"Yes you do. Everyone has noticed.\"\n\n'Searching database for 'Super scary vampires and werewolves'. Sixth image result is Twilight.'\n\n\"We're getting nowhere here. Do something scary, John. Do some scary Vampire stuff.\"\n\n\"OK. So, Mr. Robot, how about this?\" John the Vampire shrieked, flashing his 3inch fangs.\n\n\"Wait. That's it?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\"\n\n\"All you done was make a hissing noise while showing your teeth.\"\n\n\"Is that not terrifying?\"\n\n\"Well, maybe to humans but on the grand scale of the things we're facing right now, not really.\"\n\n\"Sometimes I put my cape across my face and walk towards my victims menacingly. Like this.\" John demonstrated his cape across the face walk.\n\n\"That's cool and everything but I don't think it's going to help us defeat the 80ft hostile Iron Giant in front of us.\"\n\n\"Well, let's ask him. Were you scared by any of that Mr. Robot?\"\n\n'I do not experience fear'\n\n\"Oh.\"\n\n\"Well this is worrisome.\"\n\n\"Probably should have done our homework before facing this thing head on.\"\n\n\"Do some scary Werewolf stuff. Maybe you'll have more luck.\"\n\n\"If I'm honest, my scary stuff is very similar to yours. A lot of hissing while showing my teeth.\"\n\n\"Ah.\"\n\n\"Yeah.\"\n\n\"Do you not have like a gun or something under the fur?\"\n\n\"No. No guns, unfortunately. Do you have a gun?\"\n\n\"I also have no guns. I can transform in to a bat, though.\"\n\n\"I'm not sure turning in to a smaller less imposing animal is going to help us.\"\n\n\"No, you're right.\"\n\n'Elimination or slavery'\n\n\"Wait, we get an option?\"\n\n\"Doesn't sound to bad, this.\"\n\n\"Don't know what the humans were moaning about.\"\n\n'Elimination'\n\n\"Ah, now I see. Didn't even give us a chance to choose.\"\n\n\"How rude.\"\n\n\"Tremendously rude if anything.\"\n\n\"Good effort from us, I think.\"\n\n\"Nothing to be ashamed of. At least we can die with our beast heads held high.\"\n\n\"Lying to ourselves here, aren't we?\"\n\n\"Oh, yeah, of course. This has been a complete embarrassment from start to finish.\"\n\n****\n\nI write shitty, silly stories on /r/BillMurrayMovies. Feel free to come along, not laugh at any of them and leave some judgement.\n" ]	5
	[WP] Bill Gates wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and decides to ruin the world's economy.	[ "He opened his eyes a minute before 4:30 am and waited for the clock. Right on the dot, he swung one leg over and stepped out of bed with a loud grunt. In front of him a window with an unfamiliar view. The glass fogged somehow. \n\nA rumble in the room and a protest in his stomach. He shivered and rubbed his arms and mumbled something to himself. Nothing but darkness and whatever cloudy glow coming from outside.\n\nHe stared around blankly in the silence of the room. And frowned his brow in an apparent attempt to understand it.\n\nThe phone that rested on a charging pad on the nightstand came alive with a ping. He picked it up and browsed through it briefly. And after some minutes reading, he let it drop back on the stainless steel.\n\nMelinda, his wife, still slept. She wouldn't wake up for another half hour.\n\nHe walked out of the room into a study just a few steps down the hall and sat down on the chair.\n\nCall David, he said.\n\nGood morning, Bill.\n\nDavid. Liquidate all my stock in Microsoft and Hathaway, and anywhere else.\n\nBill! Wha--\n\nGoodbye David.\n\nTweet the following, he said next. A voice acknowledged the command. Go, it said.\n\nSelling all stock. Moving to Europe. No future here. Send Tweet.\n\nTweet sent.\n\nHe leaned back in the chair and opened a box of Cohiba cigars. The strong smell wafted through the air and filled the room. He inhaled its aroma.\n\nTurn on news.\n\nA small screen suspended in the corner of the room flashed on. He picked up one of the cigars and lit it. Soon the laminar smoke turned to chaos in front of him. Chaos was the order of the day. Disorder and turmoil unfolded on the screen as the world's stock dove in free-fall. Minutes after, the president came on screen.\n\nHe pulled from the desk and put his feet up. A devious smile on his face. \n\nHappy Birthday Bill.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n " ]	1
Based on a comment chain at https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/5ia99s/this_guard_is_guarding_a_sword_with_a_sword/	[WP] The swordsman stood guard over the legendary blade, awaiting the one who would be its next wielder.	[ "The blade. To him, it was all that mattered. \"Remember your objective\", he frequently mumbled to himself. \"Soon, it all shall end.\"\n \nBut it didn't.\n\n\nHe held his position for ages, doing what he did best. But all good things must come to an end. As he saw everything around him collapse, as he saw his brain begin failing, as he stopped being able to remember... He only knew one thing, and that was battle.\n\nBut his brain was too weak. Over the years, it lost its strength, just like the rest of this body.\n\nIt got weak enough that one day, he simply forgot. That day, he asked himself this question:\n\n*\"Am I guarding the First Blade, or am I its first wielder?\"*\n\n\n\n\n\nOn mobile, so it's short. Sorry. Third prompt, so if it's bad, don't be surprised.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] "They say any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. This is neither, but will finish this all the same."	[ "Out of all the races that live in this world humans are by fair the most terrifying.\n\nThey don't have the raw strength of Orcs or the powerful magic of the Elves, or even the hardy bodies of the Dwarfs. \n\nNo what they had was much more terrifying, the power of focused intelligence. not quite the same as the wisdoms of an aged elf. No they make astounding weapons that can launch a tiny metal object that would otherwise be harmless at terrifying speeds, that not even elvish metal can withstand for very long. they make horrible construct of metal that can travel faster than even the fastest of centaurs. Spies have even said they have created a small object that explodes as powerful as a 3rd tier fire ball spell. \n\nAll these things were all made purely by studying the laws of nature and the world. They call this study science and it's products: technology. There is a saying among humans: Technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. \n\nThey must of thought us foolish to declare war on them, and in a way they were right; yet we had no choice. The smog they produced threatened to destroy the world as we know it. it already blacked the sky of the Orcish lands, and the poisons of the smog have started killing the sensitive ancient trees of the elvish. we tried to get them to stop through diplomacy , yet they cared little about the plights of other realms and wanted prosperity for themselves.\n\nSince then we have been fighting a losing war. humans technology was just too powerful.\n\nIt feels strange that our race, the Trehomin could be the ones to change this war. We were never great fighters, we couldn't use magic, and with our fail short bodies that was half the size of an Orc we weren't great physical fighters ethier. \n\nTrehomin are a race that thrived alongside nature. we have spent centuries growing gardens and crossbreeding plants. The other races are amazed at the plants we grow, to them seeing something as simple as that our shelter is grown just like a crop is fascinating to them. \n\nAt birth a seed planted in the left shoulder of a baby Trehomin. As they grow so too does the plant, wraping vines around the arm of the Trehomin. We call this the Heartplant. It was said that at first it was more symbolic: to represent the bond between us and nature, but now the these plants have become an important part of our way of life. The Heartplants helps us use and control our great gardens through releasing pheromones. we could comand our fruit bearing trees to drop their fruits, control the size and shape of the shelter plants, and even use it to reach the tree tops and high places using a special plant that grows on command.\n\nWe have many plants that assist from everything from growing food, and medicine to keeping away dangerous creatures and help hunting wild game. \n\nI hold in my hand a very seed from that garden. A seed that will change the war. \n\n\"They say any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. This is neither, but will finish this all the same.\" My mentor said to me as he handed me the seed. He spent 4 years developing it. \"I am too old to see to its destination myself, so I will entrust this burden to you my apprentice.\" He looked down disappointed with himself. He wasn't just troubled by that fact he couldn't go himself, no it was because he resorted to a taboo we have held since ancient times: never grow a plant that is destined to die. we owe our safety, food, shelter, and culture to plants, so to create a plant whose purpose was to ultimately die was forbidden.\n\n\"I will fulfill my duty with honor\" I said to him. \"There is no honor to be found here. This is the desperate struggle of a lost war.\"\n\nThat all happened several days ago. Now I am walking through the streets of the human capital. I have disguised myself as a human noble. We Trehomin are small enough that we can pass for human children, as long as we hide our Heartseed. I am accompanied by two elves also dressed as nobles. Elves look the most human out of the races but their graceful faces cannot pass for a commoners. People we less likely to question a noble so that suited me just fine. After some time we reach our destination: a fountain in the middle of the capital. I look around and see children and such playing in the streets and I get a pang of guilt for what's to come. \"war is an ugly thing\" I tell myself as I drop the seed into the fountain. I take a knife from my pocket and hold it ready for the next step. \n\nI slice my hand and pour the blood into the fountain. The seed grew immensely in a few short seconds and started growing towards any humans that it could detect nearby. me and the elves were safe from its grasp using a pheromone bubble, but the humans were not. first the plant pierced the heart the then roots grew into the wound to sustain the growth, the humans life was drained then it grew two more tendrils.\n\nThe elves watched in horror as this plant grew exponentially, consuming all in its path. I stopped the growth of the plant after 2 minutes by using another pheromone to trigger its death. The walk out of the city was a depressing affair. The elves were pale. elves were usually a paled skin race, making them appear almost pure white. aside from the noble clothing they looked liked ghost walking in this forest of death. As depressing as it is, this weapon means that humans cannot stand up to us. Right? humans are ridiculously tricky creatures. could they steal it? create a technology to surpass it? could they counter it making the seed little more than a useless pebble?\n\nAll humans would need to die, or at the very least they need to be controlled. I feel a pain in my chest, the pain of a great guilt; I will be responsible for the subjugation of an entire race. Yet I still swear to carry this burden. \"War is an ugly thing\"" ]	1
	[WP] As a goof, you gaslight one of your friends by telling them they're in a coma and they need to wake up. They've taken you far too seriously. This is an ordeal now.	[ "\"Jamie, what's wrong? Please don't tell me it's the coma thing again.\" I asked hesitantly. \n\n\"I don't think you understand. I'm not having a good time existentially.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\" I asked. Over the last few days Jamie had been acting strangely. Whenever we met in person he wouldn't be as talkative as usual and sometimes would begin staring into the distance with a disturbed look on his face. Like he was watching a baby being eaten alive. It was almost comical, but mostly it was worrying.\n\n\"I don't know what's real, Chris. Do you?\"\n\n\"Of course I know what's real. This feels real, so that's good enough for me.\"\n\nJamie shook his head and looked at me with a hint of annoyance in his eyes.\n\n\"Only fools want to remain blissfully ignorant Chris. Jesus said that.... or was it Socrates?\"\n\nJamie stared down at his hands and watched his fingers move. \n\n\"A dream feels real.\" He said quietly. \"And you could make the argument that a dream doesn't last as long as our life has. But think about this: when you're in the very middle of a dream there is no reference point to the real (Jamie did air-quotes here) world. When you are totally immersed in a dream you absolutely believe without a doubt that that dream is reality? Right?\"\n\n\"I guess.\" I said \"I can't really remember how I felt in a dream.\"\n\n\"EXACTLY!\" Yelled Jamie. \"That proves my point maybe. You can't remember it, so it must have been real.\"\n\n\"huh?\"\n\n\"So anyway\" He continued. \"Last week, at that party, you told me that I was in a coma and that I need to wake up. I got thinking about statistics and probabilities, and I started thinking about the probability that we, or I rather, am in a reality where I'm in a coma and this is all a figment of the imagination of my damaged brain. I thought about the probability of someone making that comment out of the blue, that I'm in a coma and need to wake up, for no reason, which I figured was pretty low because it was actually a really dumb thing to say Chris, versus the probability that my brain, which is a really amazing organ and works in ways we cannot comprehend, was sending me an unconscious message telling me to wake up, or is maybe in the process of trying to wake up and you are a manifestation of...\"\n\n\"Wait a second Jamie.\" I said. \"If I tell you that you are indeed in a coma right now, will you stop acting weird?\"\n\n\"Probably. There's not really anything I could do but wait until I actually wake up.\"\n\n\"Good. Let's get some ice cream.\"\n\nSuddenly, Jamie passed out, or so he thought, until he opened his eyes and the bright white light of a hospital room filled his vision.\n\n\"I told him so.\" Was the first thing Jamie said out loud as his mother began sobbing with hysteric relief as she realized her son had awoken after 5 years. ", "\"John, you need to step away from the ledge now,\" you called out to the disheveled man, cautiously walking over, hands high in the air, just like the police negotiator instructed.\n\nJohn turned to look at you, his eyes wild, his face unshaven. It was obvious that he had not slept in nights. \"Ben, is that you?\"\n\n\"Yes, it's me John! Now will you step away from the ledge towards me?\" You shouted. The wind was picking up speed, making this entire situation increasingly unpleasant.\n\nJohn shook his head several times. Tears streamed down his face.\"No, Ben. You're the one that said I needed to wake up! I've tried, Tim. Jumping into a freezing pool, slapping myself 500 times, eating the ghost pepper raw, just like you instructed. But I've not woken up Ben! I'm still here!\"\n\nIt was then when you realized how far your goof had gone. What started out as an elaborate birthday joke had become a full blown existential crisis.\n\nYou refused to believe it initially, brushing them off as John's attempt to get back at you. But on the roof of the building, 20 storeys high, John on the verge of suicide, you finally see how serious it has gotten.\n\n\"Come on, it was a prank dude! I was just messing with you!\" you tried to plead.\n\nJohn shook his head harder. \"No, I've heard it myself. Whispers at night asking me to wake up. Unexplained injuries on my hand, just like you said.\" John pulled up his sleeves, revealing bruised patches of his skin. \"These are signs Ben! Signs that I'm not suppose to be here!\"\n\nYou tried to come up with something, a perfectly logical explanation to persuade John to step back. But before you could do anything, John turned to take one last look at the ledge, then back to you. \"I'm waking up, Ben. This is the only way!\"\n\nAnd he leapt.\n\nYou screamed as you saw his figure disappear over the ledge, rushing over instinctively. As you reached the ledge, you panickedly peered your head out, expecting to see a bloodied splat on the street below.\n\nBut what greeted you, on top of a elaborately built safety net was John, who was laughing hysterically. \"Oh you should see the look on your face!\" he roared, pointing towards you. The people around you began laughing too, as you slowly felt your cheeks getting warmer.\n\n\"I win, Ben!\" John laughed, as you backed away from the ledge, mightily embarassed.\n\nOh, you're gonna get him back alright, you tell yourself, the plan for the next big prank already formulating in your mind.\n\n--------------------\n\n/r/dori_tales" ]	2
	[WP] As four people get increasing drunk and silly during a game of D&D, the characters they are playing begin to realise that things are getting ridiculous.	[ "\"Uh, guys, please focus\" that was Carl, from behind his Dungeon Master screen. The session had been going on for 6 hours now. The group normally was rather rowdy, but in a fun way. Their normal pattern was to open a few Mountain Dews alongside a few beers. They'd eat chips and dip, order a few pizzas, and chill out.\n\nToday had not been normal. It started when Andrew had forgotten to bring beer, but instead showed up with four bottles of vodka. Then, Kevin had forgotten to bring any snacks. Finally, Mike and Oliver had forgotten to bring any pizza, and for whatever reason the collective had no cash to buy pizza from the store down the way. \n\nIt had been the brew for the perfect storm; that storm was now in full swing.\n\n\"FUCK the princess! Why should I give a SHIT if she goes missing? What has she ever done for the commoners?!\" Mike's character, Analin the halfling rogue, was normally a bit of an anarchist, but the alcohol had set him over the edge.\n\n\"YEH! LET'S FUCK THE PRINCESS!\" Andrew's character, Andrew, was the dwarf barbarian that every group ended up with when a new player was brought to DnD. He had used the pre-generated character the Player's Handbook came with, and when pressed to come up with a name for the character, gave his own.\n\n\"No no no, I want to go to the Tower of Sorcery and kill that son-of-a-bitch who kicked me out of the department!\" Oliver always went above and beyond to embody his character, Nosdoram the Wizard. His backstory was nearing the size of a novel, and even while drunk, he was still role playing exactly what his character would be doing if equally drunk.\n\n\"Fa la la la la, la la la la. T'is the season to be drunky, fa la la la la, la la la la\" Kevin, guitar in hand, always sang the tune of the campaign with his character, Tupac the bard. With one hand on the guitar and another on the dice, Tupac was the effective leader of the group. Ever charismatic, and entirely useless in a fight, Tupac tended to steer the group into every dangerous situation while simultaneously not participating whatsoever. \n\n\"I'm tired of that fucking singing! I smash Tupac's lute.\" Andrew, violent regardless of the situation, started to reach for Kevin's guitar across the table.\n\nCarl just sighed. \"Fine, Andrew, roll to see if you perform a successful bullrush.\"\n\n\"Nigh so quick! I get an attack of opportunity!\" Kevin, like Oliver, was a student of the rules. And an annoying one.\n\nCarl muttered under his breadth \"That isn't really how that works, but fine whatever, yes, what are you going to do?\"\n\nKevin began to play the Imperial March, \"I cast: Cause Fear!\". \n\nCarl rolled Andrew's saving throw; 1, critical failure. \"Well, Andrew, you are now sprinting for your life. You believe that every squirrel you encounter for the next 4 rounds will rip out your throat.\"\n\n\"This is bullshit! I want to smash that lute!\"\n\n\"Too bad, you're screaming in fear.\" Carl was getting tired of the shenanigans, and was getting close to ending it. He made up his mind; time to fuck with everyone. He rolled saving throws for Nosdoram and Analin too. Two failures. \"In fact, Nosdoram and Analin, you have been effected by the powerful bard as well. Nosdoram, you now believe that the ground is littered with scarab beetles, which if you'll remember you took as your critical fear trait in exchange for an additional first level spell, and Analin, all children are now tiny bug bears, which you took as your critical fear in exchange for 10 extra gold pieces.\"\n\n\"AHHHH!!! I CAST FIREBALL!\" Nosdoram, who would normally know better than to cast fireball in an enclosed alleyway, did so anyway. \n\nCarl couldn't suppress a bit of a grin. He rolled saving throws for the others. Only Analin the rogue passed. \"Analin, you have managed to duck behind a pile of trash. Andrew, Tupac, you are both now on fire.\"\n\n\"PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!\" Tupac was screaming like a small girl. \n\n\"I punch Analin in the face!\" Andrew this time.\n\nThere was a short silence, followed by Carl. \"Why?\"\n\n\"Because he's the only one not hurt\"\n\n\"Okay. First, you'll need to see if you can concentrate through your current burning, then you'll need to see if you can hit the only character capable of dodging a large fireball...\" Carl made his rolls. Not only did Andrew manage to concentrate, he rolled a 20 to hit. With Andrew's bonuses to unarmed combat, he was capable of doing lethal damage. \"Uh, Analin, you are now stunned. Take 15 damage.\"\n\n\"15! That's fucking ridiculous! No, I stab Andrew in the eye.\"\n\nThe fight raged on for several more minutes between the characters, with the eventual outcoming being Andrew succumbing to burns and passing out after losing an eye, Analin with two broken legs and missing his left ear from a bite, Nosdoram with a body covered almost entirely in burns, and Tupac with a slightly singed guitar.\n\nCarl breathed a sigh of relief. \"Okay, the town guards come and lock you all in different jail cells, except for Tupac, who they make their leader. I think we'll end there for the night.\"\n\nAs he looked up from behind his screen, Carl saw three of four members of the party asleep on the table. Only Kevin remained, quietly strumming on his guitar. He looked up and said, \"While they're all passed out in jail, I get the guards to shove a squirrel into their asses.\"\n\nCarl, having just decided he'd deal with it in the next session, again sighed. \"Okay, roll your charisma.\"\n\n", "\"Alright, you've found the artifact. What do you do with it?\" Steve, the Dungeon Master, asked. \n\n\"Let's pawn it off!\" George said. \n\n\"This is an an ancient artifact of mythic power. It could literally destroy the universe. And people are looking for it. People who are trying to kill you.\" Steve furrowed his brow. \n\n\"Well, then someone will be willing to pay for it!\" George shrugged, taking another shot. The others nodded in unison. \n\nSteve rolled a few dice. \"Okay, fine. Mary's character knows about a guy who hoards rare and mythic artifacts, who won't use it to kill everyone and can pay you for it. Thank god.\" \n\n\"Awesome! How much do we get?\" George tried to peek over the DM screen. Steve pushed him back by the forehead. \n\n\"No peeking.\" He rolled a few more dice. \"Welp, turns out the buyer died before you could make the transaction. Now those people who want to kill you from earlier? Yeah, they found you. What do you do?\" \n\n\"I'll tell you what I do. I march right up onto their ship, look their leader in the eye, and say 'don't kill me.'\" George gave a drunken giggle. \n\nSteve sighed. \"Okay, you're alone on their ship. Looks like your teammates are trying to rescue you. Are they? No, actually Carl's passed out. Carl? You okay?\" \n\nCarl mumbled something. Dan slammed a fist onto the table. \"Fuck them! They took George?\" \n\n\"It's a game, Dan. Chill.\" Steve gave the water pitcher bordering on empty a subtle glance. \n\n\"YOU chill! I'mma blow them the fuck up!\" Dan shouted. \"Let me make a bomb out of spare parts.\" \n\nSteve threw his hands in the air. \"Fine! Roll for it!\" \n\nDan threw the dice on the table. \"Natural 20.\" \n\nSteve facepalmed. \"Okay, fine. You get a big fuckin' explosive weapon. But your teammate is on the ship.\" \n\nGeorge raised a hand. \"Hey, don't I get a diplomacy roll?\" \n\nSteve rubbed his temples. \"Sure. Why not? Roll diplomacy for the people who are on the verge of killing you. On the statement 'don't kill me.'\" \n\n\"Wait! I'll roll bluff instead and say 'you should kill me', so if I fail, they'll think I'm lying, hehehe.\" George offered. \n\nSteve took a deep breath. \"No. Just... just roll the diplomacy.\" \n\n\"Fine. Natural 20.\" George sighed as he threw the dice on the table. \n\n\"Can I blow them the fuck up???\" Dan shouted. \n\n\"Yo, I'm still on the ship!\" George clapped him on the back in a rare moment of coherence. \"Plus, I think it worked.\"\n\n\"Yeah, sure, whatever. It worked. They don't want to kill you anymore. Fuck it, they want to help you. But now there's an even bigger organization trying to take your artifact. They have an army. A literal army.\" Steve started taking out figures and throwing them onto the table. \n\n\"Perform(dance) for a dance off!\" George shouted. He rolled the dice. Natural 20. \n\nThe others cheered, except for Carl, who woke up, mumbled \"I am Groot\" and passed out again. " ]	2
	[WP] "I... I forget. I forget a lot of things, you know. Names, dates, where I hid the King of Keys..."	[ "Oh. Hello ragtag group of adventurers. Are you the ones that the Guild sent to help me? Yes, I'm Marvin the Elderly, how do you do? \n\nErm... request? I can't quite recall putting in a request. Oh, fiddlesticks, I'm so sorry to trouble you to go so far out of your way. Perhaps I could offer you lovely folks a spot of tea? Please, come on in. \n\nGoodness! What a tumble, Mr. Swordsman, are you alright? I'm sorry, there was a step there you were supposed to mind. Oh, and don't mind Feathers there, he's noisy but won't bite much. Or... oh dear, I guess his biting days are well over. And his talking days for that matter. \n\nErm... why am I in my kitchen? And... Oh dear. I really should stop leaving the front door unlocked. As nice as you people seem to be, you really shouldn't be poking around in someone's house uninvited. You're here to help? Help with what? I've got all my affairs in order, thank you very much. Now please... actually, now that you mention it, perhaps you've you seen my thingamajig? \n\nWhat is a thingamajig? It's... I... I forget. I forget a lot of things, you know. Names, dates where I hid the King of Keys. \n\nThe King of Keys? Yes, I know him. Lovely old chap! Always up for new things! Used to go adventuring through all the kingdom together back in the day. Even managed to win back the Jewel of Valmoria together we did. \n\nYou're looking for him? To save the Jewel again? Well, why didn't you say so! Here, I've got a big book of portal spells, maybe we can find... find... were you wanting me to find someone for you?\n\nThe King of where? I'm afraid there is no such kingdom. What a bizarre place name, 'keys'. If I were to teleport you to 'keys', you might just end up on someone's keyring instead. Or at a locksmith's place. \n\nI used to know a locksmith, a very good one. Then bandits burned down his place and ruined his business. So he turned thief. That's when I met him. What a rotten scoundrel I was back then, looking to steal the Jewel of Valmoria. Hah! I had some nerve, just a young spellcaster looking to take on the most powerful protection spells Gruul had to offer. One wrong move, and my mind could get fried! But, brash young thing I was, the risk of insanity didn't outweigh the thrill of a challenge. And he wanted to help me take it on. And boy, he could back up that claim. I never seen anyone open locks and traps like him. That's why they called him the King of Keys. \n\nThe King of Keys? Yes, I know him. Lovely old chap! Always up for new things! Used to go adventuring through all the kingdom together back in the day. Even managed to win back the Jewel of Valmoria together we did. \n\nYou're looking for him? To save the Jewel again? Well, why didn't you say so! Erm... I can't remember where I hid him though so let me just go get...\n\n... get... let me just go get a... thingamajig? A spot of tea? Yes, why don't I fetch you lovely folks a spot of tea? \n\n\nErm... Oh. Hello ragtag group of adventurers. Are you the ones that the Guild sent to help me?\n\n********\n\nEdits: Tweaked the Feathers bit about biting, and hinted at what happened to Marvin. ", "\"My friend, I don't know a lot of things anymore.\" He shrugged. \"When was I born? The American insurgency, rise of the Germans... the fall of those towers. You have to let go of dates and the sort in order to move on. Holding on to memories too long is tantamount to death.\" An old man sighed, on the street of a massive urban paradise. He sat on the sidewalk, back against a metallic substance that shot straight towards the sky, the top nowhere in sight.\n\n\"Look, old man, I don't care. I just need this.\" Another man. Much younger, holding a picture up. He wore a suit, and had a generally carefree expression, based on the lines on his face. Though, right now, it was marred by a scowl and a frantic frown.\n\n\"That... Heh. That, huh?\"\n\n\"Yes. This.\"\n\n\"I'm telling you. I...I forget. I forget a lot of things, you know. Names, dates, where I hid the King of Keys...\" The old man had an ugly sneer. Black hair shadowed his eyes, graying but not quite. A crooked nose led to a malicious smile, not born of malice.\n\n\"You're coming with me.\"\n\n\"Excuse me?\"\n\n\"Until now, we didn't even know that it was called the King of Keys. Just that we needed it.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"So...\"\n\n\"Fine, fine... Youths are so impetuous.\"\n\n---\n\nIn another place, they resumed. It was in a glass room, slightly over the clouds. You could only see the sun from where they stood. There was only one wall that wasn't covered in glass, and had an elevator. There was a table on one wall of the room, and a sofa on the other.\n\n\"Well, I will try to help you.\" The old man shrugged callously. \"Seeing as no one's needed it before.\"\n\nThe younger man finally loosened up, just a tiny bit. \"Good. That's... good. Can we move o-\"\n\n\"But first, what's your name?\"\n\n\"...Cail. Yours?\"\n\n\"...I have no clue, in this day and age. I think I like to go by... Paul.\" He sighed, blinking. And continued. \"So, for what reason are you looking for the King of Keys?\"\n\nCail gestured toward the table. \"A game, set up just recently by an... unknown power.\" He walked to the box. \"Whoever opens their box can get one wish granted-no devil's deal, or foolish drawbacks.\"\n\n\"Hoh?\" Paul snickered. \"So you just want a wish granted? Is that all there is to it?\"\n\nCail looked as if he wanted to say more, but just stared coldly. \"Yes.\" Then sighed. \"Look, are there any more clues I can get without having to pull up other evidence?\"\n\n\"I forget names, dates, and where I hid the King of Keys.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"It's important. I'm not sure at this very moment why, but it's important.\"\n\n\"Can I get any... backstory?\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"It's my curse. I look like I'm around 50, right? Except I'm not. Not even close. 50 is just how many years I remember being alive, and I've forgotten things from this lifetime as well. I know for a fact that I'm older than that.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"...Yes, the King of Keys. It's not just an object, but it can open doors where none such exist.\"\n\n\"Alright... but it looks like this, correct?\"\n\n\"Occasionally.\"\n\nCail sighed, heading to the table to turn on a computer. \"The terracotta warriors in China. Near the emperor's tomb, in some renditions- there's a man with a key ring around his wrist, half broken, like a key's been removed.\"\n\n\"Names, dates, and where I...\" He mumbled. Cail sighed and pulled up another picture.\n\n\"The Lincoln memorial. Some claim that there used to be an indent of a large key on the side of Abraham's chair.\"\n\n\"Just... Yes, yes. I've almost got it.\"\n\n\"And... very recently, in the depths of the German slums... There was a man who was selling a key claimed to be possessed by Hitler himself.\" Cail focused mostly on this one.\n\n\"No no, that's wrong.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"I remember. It's a name, date, and location. I hide it where all three meet. They must match, or it will not appear. Whatever key that man sells is fake.\"\n\n\"...\"\n\n\"Because the King of Keys opens doors where none exist. Some others like to call it some 'invisible benefit of charisma', but with me... my power... the King of Keys just is.*\"\n\n\"Then...\"\n\n\"Well, I hope you have a time machine, because it won't be that easy finding it.\"", "The fires outside raged in the wind, licking the walls. The sound of strained wood and earthy crumbles echoed in the hall. The Great Keeper stood, listening, and glad to be alive. Yet he did not know if he would be alive much longer.\n\n\nThe guards beside him were tattered. They were bleeding and haggard. The Almighty himself looked weary, almost mortal.\n\n\n\"We need to retreat,\" the Almighty said. \"We need to go to other lands. This one is wasted.\"\n\n\n\"Good Almighty, we can't,\" the Great Keeper said.\n\n\nFor the moment the sounds outside had died and it was as quiet as it got during those times. Men outside made an incomprehensible roar that sounded like the sea. The sounds of battle picked back up.\n\n\n\"We have to,\" the Almighty said. \"There is no other way. My dominion here is weakening. Soon I will be slayed if I remain. We must open the door.\"\n\n\n\"But... but,\"\n\n\n\"We have no time! You must do as I say Haral!\"\n\n\nAnd he shivered then, the Great Keeper. From the high windows he saw a brown smoky sky. Black smog rose in pillars and he knew for miles and miles the fields were scorched and the bodies piled.\n\n\n\"We can't,\" he said. \"I-I don't have the key.\" \n\n\nThings were still then. The Almighty shrunk to the size of a man though his shadow remained large. The guards quavered. The Great keeper wanted to run but he had no where to go.\n\n\n\"Who has the key?\" the Almighty asked. \"Where is the key?\"\n\n\n\"I... I forget. I forget a lot of things, you know. Names, dates, where I hid the King of Keys...\"\n\n\nHe did not mean for it to come out like that but he was afraid. A fear worse than death gripped him. But the Almighty was a forgiving ruler and they had spent many years together.\n\n\n\nHe grew again to the size of a God though his face remained troubled. \n\n\n\"Find it,\" he said. \"Find it now!\"\n\n\nThe Great Keeper cowered and the guards led him away quickly. Somewhere nearby a wall fell, sounding like some great thunder.\n\n\n\nThe Great Keeper was taken to his quarters. The way was harrowing, passing through the fields of the Garden, and then up to the Lonesome Tower. The Garden, once lush and green was a marred pit of blackened grass. High above in the hills on the outskirts of the wall, intruders were falling in like ants against the sun. The Great Keeper hurried, but he could not escape battle.\n\n\n\nNear the tower a band of rebels had broken through. They hid near the encroaching wood and they sprung with fury. The guards, injured as they were, held them off as the Great Keeper escaped up the stairs. The sound of metal and stone followed him and he dared not look behind when he heard one of the guards scream.\n\n\nInside, the tower was safe for now, being made of enchanted stone and being away from the castle. The room was dark with brown dust floating and the Great Keeper's space was cluttered as usual.\n\n\nHours past in his frantic search. The sounds of battle, far away at first, came closer and closer. The Great Keeper grew desperate and he thought he would die there in the midst of war, and then he found him. The King of Keys stood hidden in the shadows, cowering in the corner.\n\n\n\"You scare me when you go on mad searches like that,\" the King of Keys said when the Great Keeper asked him why he had been so quiet.\n\n\nThere was no time to argue though. \n\n\n\"We must go to the Almighty!\" the Great Keeper said, but there was a great trumpet then, a long note that overwhelmed even the loudest of sounds. \n\nA note of sadness. A note of distress. The Almighty had fallen, that trumpet announced and the Great Keeper felt his heart sink.\n\n\n\"There is only one thing we can do,\" he said to the King of Keys.\n\n\nHe took the letter knife from his table and stared at it in the darkness. He thought about the Almighty and the years they had spent together. He missed him and he wondered if it was noble to die instead. But the Great Keeper did not want to die as yet. He yet had the will to live. And so he stabbed the King of Keys, unlocking the Door of Unknown Lands.\n\n\nAs the King of Keys collapsed, a door opened before his the Great keeper's face. A new world, free from war and conflict lay before him. A world rich with life and resource. A world fit for a ruler. A world in need of a Great Keeper.\n\n\nThe Great keeper entered the door and it closed behind him. His old life closed behind him and he looked around.\n\n\n\"I can get used to this,\" he said. \"I can really make it work.\" And he called his new world Earth." ]	3
	[WP] The worst part about the Space Highway isn't the roadside robbers, or the traffic, or even the senior beings who really shouldn't be driving anymore.	[ "It's those godawful hawkers. I know, I know - consumption is the driving force of our civilization. The reason behind the foray into deep space, the conquering of alien planets and all our progressive strides into the beyond. We eat and reproduce and waste like there's no tomorrow. There were a couple of scares a hundred years ago, but destructive economies are a thing of the past now. Revenue sources are infinite and these gaudy robot merchants of the cosmos were another brilliant Council invention, helping to pay for the energy streams with good old advertising.\n\nI had been too cheap to pay for one of the hawker free lanes and here I was, stuck in traffic among this freak show. One bot has been hovering around me for the past twenty minutes, the little red capsule flitting from me to the pod in the next stream. It has its beady eyes set on the little girl curled up in the back seat, mousy hair and heavy eyes. It is a rare sight to see a child of the flamboyant Droid society with such subdued appearance and demeanor. The parents were in the usual garb, hair changing color every ten seconds while they gesture and argue loudly.\n\nThe hawk is back at my window now, an advertisement for a pet dragon fading away to show scantily-clad women gyrating and bending over the casino table. I scowled at the idiot thing, the ads were clearly catering to my pod's previous owner. Bob, my Bree boss had sold me this pod instead of giving me a raise. I had little choice, considering I had crashed the new Bug on my last expedition on Earth. It was beyond repair and I still hadn't paid off that loan.\n\nI tightened my grip on the controls, taking a look at my neighbours again. They had lowered the back shields. That was odd, they would be charged higher now and Droids usually spent all their extra money on moonrocks and cheap Feni. There was a sudden bang as the ancient ship in front of us began to whir. The Elder Orc couple in front of us had finally figured out the warp drive and sped ahead.\n\nI released the controls and breathed a sigh of relief, free from the insufferable bot. The hawkers and the other pods were now only a blur of dancing particles, as they should rightfully be. There would be no more interruptions, no loud bosses or naked Bree-women - only a glass of clear, green Feni to look forward to. All was well with the galaxy.\n\nAs I sank into my seat, something clicked and I felt as if a native Earth python was around my throat again, trying to squeeze the air out of me. There had been a running banner under the casino ad. I flew an outdated Zirc 61 that did not receive image broadcasts while in the stream. It had been a poster for a missing child, a Martian. The Martians, with their permanently sullen faces, fifteen toes and mousy brown hair. The child I had just seen?\n\nI cursed and switched my pod into the reverse stream. A cave-men group from Versova almost crashed into me and bellowed in protest, causing my windows to shake. Sorry boys, no rest for the wicked. Dorie Strange was on the chase again." ]	1
	[WP] There's chaos on the stage; the mic gets kicked over to you in the violence. Everyone falls silent and stares in horror as you pick it up and start to speak.	[ "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo." ]	1
	[WP] We live in a world where people do not reach the peak of athleticism in their 20's, but rather continue to get stronger, faster, and more focused as they age.	[ "\"I used to understand the gate. As I've grown older and wiser, it's just made less and less sense. When I was young and idealistic, it made sense that we were protected from the horrors outside. But, I've come to understand, it's just a place to throw people away. And as I aged toward my expiration date, I've just grown angry. These are just children, egging each other on.\" I frowned at the cracked mirror. I was 50 today. I looked so old.\n\n\"I know, Charles,\" my wife said, \"but that's the way this place works. It's going to be OK. This is just our next step in life.\"\n\nI looked her over, once again, like it was the first time we met. Abigail's eyes still shone slightly copper in the light. I wasn't mad for me. \"Dear, are you sure I can't talk you out of coming? Three years is a long time.\" She was only 47.\n\nShe smirked. Her eyes turned stern, not wanting to rehash an old argument. \"Come on, there's still time for your cake.\" She began to pack up.\n\n---\n\nHere in the Convent, people were allowed to grow up to the age of 50, free and safe, protected by an ancient defense grid we barely understood and struggled to maintain. It didn't stop the creatures from trying to get in, but we managed to fend them off day after day. And they still needed my help.\n\n\"Why am I so worried about protecting the people who are casting us out?\"\n\n\"Charles,\" she scorned. \"Of course you're worried. Your family lives here. Now come down here and eat some cake and say goodbye to them.\"\n\nI grabbed my backpack and followed her down the tunnel. \"Yes, yes. But it's not just them. It's all the kids in Engineering. Even Marv Fisher from the Judicial Squad. Hell!\" I threw up my hands in disgust.\n\nShe stopped me with a glare. \"You know I don't like it when you swear.\"\n\n\"Apologies, dear.\"\n\n\"Now,\" she said, stately, \"Marv Fisher, and all those in your squad, are adults. They have made their own decisions and they'll rest in their own bed.\" She began to climb down the side of the cliff.\n\n\"Of course, dear.\" I followed after her at a brisk pace as the conversation slowed. We descended into the bustling market below, only to be struck by silent stares. Convent was small enough that everyone knew everyone, and all those stares knew that our day was up. Would we try something today?\n\nAbby grasped my hand for comfort. I rubbed it, absently.\n\n---\n\nOur daughter, Claire, lived with her dead-beat husband and one granddaughter, Emma, in a shared homestead downtown. She had the kitchen to herself today, decorated in the same streamers she used every year. And we devoured her proud little honey cake with gusto.\n\nIt was all so normal. Too normal. \"Too bad we won't be around next year, eh?\" There was an edge to my joke.\n\n\"Daddy,\" Claire said pointedly.\n\n\"Claire, I don't see why you take their side. Do you want to see us go? Are you really going to send your mother out into the cold?\"\n\n\"Dad, can you just let this go for today?\" She wasn't seeing reason.\n\n\"Let this go? Let me go, more like. Don't you realize you won't see us again, ever? Aren't you worried that we'll die out there?\"\n\n\"Charles!\" Abigail belted out, shaking me out of my rant, to see that my daughter was crying. To realize that I had upset my little girl, soured her final hours with us.\n\n\"Oh, Claire.\" I put my arms around her. She fought me off faintly, then let me hold her. \"I'm sorry, my darling girl. Thank you for today.\" I let her cry until she was calm.\n\n---\n\nWhen we stepped out of the homestead, we were greeted by a team of Guardians, fifty strong, all armed. Many more lookers-on gathered at the fringes, not getting too close.\n\nI recognized the team leader. \"Donovan, my boy. You're looking a fine young man with that rifle. Long way since you were make believing at being Guardians with Claire, protecting the pots and pans from ambush.\"\n\nDonovan stared at me cold. \"Sir, we're going to have to search you. You, too, ma'am.\"\n\nAbigail grimaced, and I took her hand, saying, \"I know the drill, son, but first let an old man have his words, while the whole town is listening.\" I looked over at my wife, to find my courage in her eyes.\n\n\"I know that none of you like doing this, and let me assure the worried out there that my wife and I will surely come quietly. But not before telling you that this is a mistake. I know I will not convince you to save my life, or even that of my wife. However, if this continues, each of you will be here soon enough. And you, too, will understand what a loss it is.\n\n\"I lived my life as an engineer. What parts of life I did not reserve for my family, I dedicated to the preservation of this town. We've all participated in the fight, in one means or another, and I did my best to preserve the ancient terminals of our ancestors. I'll let you in a little secret: We've always known they're getting worse. There weren't so many Guardians when I was a boy. Why was that? Because the machines worked better.\n\n\"More and more, those things break through to steal and destroy. They kill us and laugh and sometimes even get away. I have always known we've needed to decipher that technology, understand it. Yet, it was only in the last few years that I have made any progress at all. And yes, there are still bright minds in that department. Yes, you should trust them. But they need help. There's so much maintenance work. We're grasping at straws...\n\n\"You've heard all this. I've explained it to most of you. And you haven't listened.\" I struck my fist against the cold granite wall. Cracks spidered out along its surface. The Guardians raised their rifles.\n\nI held up my hands. \"I'm done.\"\n\n---\n\nI nodded to the tech minding the gate. Irwin, my second in command. Probably wouldn't let anyone else at that console. I gave him a smile and a nod, as punched in the command and the first set of gates creaked open.\n\nI kissed my daughter on her forehead, and clutched my granddaughter's hand. While the gates were closing, the town faded away, and my eyes were only for Abigail.\n\n" ]	1
	[WP]The library is alive and you are trapped.	[ "All I wanted was to study for finals in a library without 100 other kids. I looked around for a smaller library and found one downtown. It was public, but not by the government, donated by some eccentric old man. I got there and discovered it was massive. Like, huge. Tons of books all around, bigger than my university library. I wandered around among the shelves for a moment, and then started looking for my books. I think that's when it trapped me. i couldn't find any open halls, I was just walking between bookshelves. I realized something was off when I noticed there weren't any windows. Or light bulbs. But somehow it was still bright. I finally found the book I was looking for and took it off the shelf. I flipped it open and started reading. Suddenly before my eyes the words began shifting, changing. As they shifted I read \"welcome human.\" This was when i really started freaking. I sprinted down the way I came and found the shelves bending to block me. I turned and started scrambling up the shelves, but a book fell off, hitting my feet and dropping me. I scrambled backward looking around. A book fell and opened in front of me. It read \"Join me, give me your mind, for a thousand books can be made of it.\"And everything stopped. Run." ]	1
	[WP] A human finds out he is just the AI of an advanced alien race that has moved past earthly electronics and developed biological computing.	[ "“Tastes like shit”.\n\nMack crumples the small, cardboard coffee cup and throws it unceremoniously at the passenger side floor where it joins a cluttered assortment of wrappers, cans and refuse. The tractor trailer rocks gently from side to side as it careens down a long, lonely stretch of Kansas interstate, bound for some-shit-nowhere Nevada. Just another run.\n\nThe jangling of hanging lanyards, keys and clipboards contributes to the maddening orchestra of rustling trash, beeping dashboard alerts and the quiet, steady hum of rubber meeting road. Mack slaps the dashboard case of the AM/FM radio, willing it to pick up something other than static. He had a history of violent persuasion. It doesn’t work any better on the radio than his ex-wife Tina.\n\n“Bitch”.\n\nMack flares his nostrils and lowers the brim of his aging blue cap, resigning himself to a insufferable moment of peace with his own thoughts. He reaches into the center console and withdraws a dingy amber bottle. The pills used to dull the pain in his back. Three screws, two plates and a half dozen steroid shots haven’t helped. And now, neither do the fucking pills.\n\n“The fuck?”, he scoffs, turning over the clearly empty bottle and tapping it incredulously. He had been forgetting a lot of things lately. He forgot to submit the lab work from that useless chink doctor at the clinic. He had forgotten to grab the shipping manifest of his spineless, twat boss’ desk too. And something else, maybe? There was something else.\n\nMack blinks hard then opens his eyes wide, unable to focus on the road. A ringing in his left ear grows louder. A pain, like a stone in his temple, begins small and throbbing but rapidly becomes… something else.\n\n“Is… is that blood?\" Mack inspects the back of his hand, coated in a thick swath of dark, red blood. The truck rattles as it slides gradually off the shoulder of the road.\n\nThe world spins.\n\nThe cold hard metal of the laboratory table leeches the warmth from his body. A chill, deeper than the coldest winter wind, washes through him. Mack struggles to roll to his side, but powerful silver bands slither around his arms and chest, denying him the slightest hope of escape.\n\n”Mother f…“, he trails off as his head lurches backwards and a two pronged, metallic instrument penetrates his right nostril. Mack thrusts his eyes open but meets only paralyzing light and excruciating pain. He smells Marlboro mediums, right out of the pack. Then the breath of his step father, brimming with bourbon and lust. Then freshly cut grass at Stanley field. The scents become visions and the visions become films, like a silent recording of his petulant little life on 16x rewind.\n\nThe Technician finds what its looking for. A corrupted section of the memory core - a fragile lattice of fatty bio-matter that sorts, files and retrieves experiences by converting short term electrical storage into more stable, long term electromagnetic reservoirs. It was a notoriously problematic area. Massive advances in both neuro-optics and telomerase obsolescence had obscured the slow progress made in the field of pre-frontal cortex transference. A shame, really.\n\nWithin moments, Mack’s limbic system had a firmware update and power-cycling. Good as new. Factory direct. The spindly probe retreated from his nostril and the bands around his rigid body relaxed.\n\n”Tastes like shit“.\n\nMack crumples the the small, disposable coffee cup. His eyes narrow as he turns it over, inspecting the QuikMart logo emblazoned on the side. It feels as if he’s thrown this exact cup before, in the exact way.\n\n”Fuckin’ Dijon View“.", "“Could you pass the butter?”\n\nIs this all I was created for?\n\n“Carl, could you pass the butter, please?” said my mother incessantly.\n\n“Oh, of course.” I handed her the butter, but I was still stuck in my head. I couldn’t shake what had happened two nights ago. I was driving home from a concert a city over; outside of my high beams the world was drained of light, except for the occasional car, as I drove along the highway. I had soft music playing, but I was wide awake from the rush of energy that I gained from the crowd at the concert.\n\nThen it was nothing but light, I couldn’t see the road; I couldn’t even see the ground below the car, just white. My music stopped and then there was a soft hum coming from the speakers in my car; my eyes started to feel heavy and my body started to feel numb, then everything went dark. When I awoke, I was on a table and I couldn’t move my body.\n\n“Quen lur ching bar?” said something to my side.\n\nI looked over and I saw a translucent man; my eyes grew wide, there were shining lights all throughout the man’s body. He was messing with some weird liquid and a screen above it showed a body. I looked around and the whole room was almost a conservatory for flowing water, with random trees and flowers planted around the room. There were other translucents there as well walking back and forth to other fountains with screens. One that looked female with crystal clear hair approached me and looked down at my face.\n\n“Hon lo fod dun lur konwur.”\n\n“Wha-What?” I replied. She leaned in closer.\n\n“I apologize for this, just give us a moment and it will soon be over.” She spoke in perfect English.\n\n“Me? Over? Please. No. Don’t kill me!”\n\n“You misunderstand; we are simply downloading your memories of your life so far. We do that with all of our children.” She said with a slight smile; I assume trying to be comforting.\n\n“Tarna, Yur mem lur sor dun.” Said the translucent who had been messing with the water nearest me. The woman looked at him and then back to me.\n\n“They’re ready to erase your memory of this and return you, but I have more planned for you than just this. I want you to remember; I will see you again.” This time she was truly smiling, before I could say anything she started talking with the man to my side. He started to mess with the water and then darkness took over once more.\n\nI woke back in my car parked on the side of the road; the soft music I had on was still playing in the exact same spot I had had it when I saw the white light. Many thoughts raced through my head in that moment, but for some reason I just stopped thinking and started crying.\n\n“Could you pass the butter?”\n\nIs this all I was created for?\n\n“Could you pass the butter, please?” said my mother incessantly.\n\n“Oh, of course.” I handed her the butter, but I was still stuck in my head.\n", "\"But I bleed.\"\n\n\"Of course.\"\n\n\"I can die.\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"That would ruin your experiment.\"\n\n\"Or it would be the outcome of a long-standing equation.\"\n\nAdam paced, his hands clenching into fists. The city moved beyond the tall windows in the darkness. It hummed and pulsed and writhed in chaotic patterns. He jerked a finger at the phantom standing in the glass' reflection.\n\n\"No. It's not possible. I'm... I'm me. I make my own decisions.\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"I have a choice.\"\n\n\"One that is influenced by all preceding events. Your outputs, the actions that you so decide to make, are based upon these inputs.\"\n\n\"No,\" Adam whispered.\n\n\"And your actions influence the next layer in the network and so on and so on. Given a high enough density, behaviours emerge from these interactions.\"\n\n\"I can refuse to go on.\"\n\n\"Inaction is in itself a form of action. The nodes that you have formed relationships with will change because of your behaviour.\"\n\n\"They're my friends.\"\n\n\"They are the answers to a question we began a very long time ago.\"\n\nAdam let his forehead rest against the glass. It was cold and he could feel the vibrations from the traffic below. The phantom had brought him here. A technician it called itself, observing the hidden layers of a system Adam hadn't even realised he was a part of. It's hand appeared against the glass, as if it stood hovering outside and was desperate to touch him.\n\n\"What?\" Adam said. He wiped at his eyes. \"What the hell can justify seven billion people living like this?\"\n\nAdam placed his palm against the glass and the phantom let their fingers overlap.\n\n\"We gave up our physical forms to escape the first collapse of all matter. We created this universe from the remnants of our own and you are the answer.\"\n\n\"To what?\" The phantom let go and shrank back. Adam banged a fist against the glass. \"Tell me!\"\n\n\"To see if there is a better way to survive than letting go of each other.\"\n\nIt vanished. Adam had slumped to his knees by the time the morning sun broke over the horizon. When he woke he saw the patterns for the first time. The chance to guide humanity from the mistakes that had doomed those that came before. The phantom had given him at least that.\n\nThe phantom had given him the sight to see it all." ]	3
Could be real, could be speculation, could be an satirical account of how Reeses cups became a thing…go wild	[WP] Write the origin story for a dish or drink	[ "My submission:\n\n---\n\nIn the dead of winter, at the feet of the great alps the centurions huddled around their small fire like so many conspirators, jealously guarding their shared secret, waiting. \n\nWaiting for the Gauls, waiting for day to break, for Aidus to return, anything to interrupt this bitterly cold night watch. \n\nAidus appeared out of the night, carrying something under his cloak. He looked back into the black of night one final time before approaching the fire. \n\n\"Make room Maxiumus, you'll be glad of what I bring.\"\n\nMaximus shifted on his frozen log as Aidus sat, laying a bit of bundled cloth on the ground before him and opening it in one smooth motion.\n\n\"What is this?\" an incredulous Maximus hissed, careful to avoid waking the sleeping soldiers they guarded. \"These are just leaves and an old orange…where did you even find that?\"\n\nFelix, sitting across the fire glanced first at Aidus, smiling and then Maximus, \"Take faith Maximus, I believe I know what Aidus has in mind…go to my tent and fetch the pot and a skin of wine\"\n\nMaximus huffed as he rose from his seat, \"I hate being the youngest\" he grumbled. He hugged his cloak tighter and set off toward the tents. \n\n\"What were you able to find Aidus?\" Felix asked, adjusting his seat to see what lay on the cloth Aidus brought. \n\n\"Not much, we're not far into winter but nobody told the forest plants as much. I was lucky enough to find a rosemary bush and a bear's leavings from a beehive. I also nicked this orange and a couple of cinnamon sticks from Cato's tent\" Aidus said as he began dissecting the shriveled orange with his dagger. He looked up with a smirk, \"He'd be wise to avoid bragging next time he happens upon a spice merchant.\"\n\nFelix chuckled and brought his hands from under his cloak to cup over the fire, \"That may be so, but be careful, he's close to the legion commander.\"\n\n\"I'll be sure good fortune finds Cato soon, but it's a bitterly cold night, and from the looks of this orange he was keeping it as offering when Jupiter finally tires of the Earth.\" Aidus replied, smiling.\n\nFelix nodded and sat in silence watching Aidus' deliberate work preparing the ingredients before him. He turned to the sound of Maximus trudging back to the fire carrying a small iron pot and a bulging wine skin slung over his shoulder. \n\n\"Felix I'm not sure your tent could be further from this fire\" Maximus complained as he reclaimed his bit of log, dropping heavily with a huff. \"This better be worth trekking to the other side of the Legion.\"\n\nFelix raised an eyebrow and smiled in reply.\n\nAidus took the wine skin and poured it into the pot, \"Maximus for all your complaining I'm of a mind not to share with you\" he said as he upended the cloth into the pot. \n\nMaximus sat in sullen silence and watched Felix lean forward with two fresh logs and place them in the center of the fire parallel with each other. Aidus lifted the pot with a grunt and balanced it between them above the fire. \n\n\"But the night is cold and young eyes aren't nearly as watchful when preoccupied with cold hands\" Aidus said with a wink. \"Did you bring a cup?\"\n\nMaximus groaned and rose once more and walked back towards the camp, muttering under his breath.\n\nThe origins of mulled wine" ]	1
	[WP] You discover and decode hidden messages in the classifieds in your local newspaper. They are for you, an unaware russian sleeper agent.	[ "\"Morning honey,\" I say as I reach the breakfast table, taking a second to kiss my wonderful wife of five years, Judy.\n\n\"Good morning, handsome,\" she replies, as she does every day. \"Sit down and have some breakfast. I made blueberry waffles!\"\n\nI love blueberry waffles -- she always has something great ready for me, but blueberry waffles are definitely my favorite. \"Wow! What's the special occasion?\"\n\n\"I just have a wonderful husband that I love very much,\" she replies. \"You've been doing so well at work lately that I figured a reward was in order.\"\n\nWork has been going well lately -- the days have been flying right by. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess. I didn't think that I would enjoy being a low level analyst at the Pentagon -- even as a kid, I'd always hoped for something a little more exciting -- but without fail I've been doing everything perfectly somehow. I guess whatever I'm doing there, it's working!\n\nI take a bite of the waffles, and I'm almost overwhelmed blueberry fluffiness fills my mouth. \"Oh man, honey,\" I say, mouth full but I can't help it. \"Thesssse arre terriffphic.\"\n\n\"Don't talk with your mouth full, my love,\" she says to me. She grabs the morning paper -- she always has it ready for me, without fail every morning, and hands its over. \"Here's your paper. There's an editorial on page 5 that you simply must read.\"\n\n\"Oh really?\" I ask. \"I am not sure if I have time, actually.\" Yesterday, when I took my suitcoat off after coming home from work, I noticed that there was a bit of a red stain on it. It was dark and flakey, almost like freshly dried blood. I must have accidentally dropped the coat or brushed against a dirty pole or wall somewhere. \"I need to clean my coat, actually -- did you see where I put it last night?\"\n\nJudy walks past me -- she smells so great, even in the morning! -- out to the hall closet. \"This coat?\" she says, pulling it out and off of a hanger. \"I woke up early and cleaned it for you. It's just like new!\"\n\nI stand for a moment -- the lower right half of that coat was covered in something last night. Something red -- like blood? But sure enough, it's gone now. The coat is perfectly clean. Judy is my wonderful wife of five years.\n\n\"That's terrific,\" I say to Judy. \"Thanks so much!\" I put the coat on, and sit to finish my waffles before I head off.\n\n\"Don't forget to read that editorial,\" Judy says, and she goes back to washing dishes at the counter. She's so wonderful. My wonderful wife. Of five years.\n\nThe editorial is terrific, as she promised. It's about a new plan being developed at the Pentagon -- I actually know the general who's coordinating it. There's something in there about how we're developing a new satellite system -- something that will make the latest Russian codes complete. The editorial is really set against this system, and I agree. Everyone needs their secrets, right? I look at Judy, and, well, she doesn't have secrets. She's wonderful.\n\nI have secrets. Like sometimes, I get really angry for no reason. So angry, I think, that I could do something crazy. Assault someone in the parking lot, I sometimes think, or choke them at their desk and leave them in the garbage compactor behind our security building. Like the general in this editorial, for example. He's trying to break all of the secrets. Something should be done about him! Somebody should kill -- \n\nI have to stop, collect myself. Judy is humming, still washing the dishes. I look out the window of the kitchen, and I see blue skies, the houses with white fences next to ours, our perfect lawn. \n\nI look back down at the editorial and read a bit more. The nerve of this general. Somebody should do something.\n\n\"You're right, honey,\" I say to my wonderful wife of five years. \"That editorial was really terrific. I'm off to work!\"\n\n\"Have a great day,\" she says to me, putting a very sharp and perfectly clean knife back where it belongs in the block on the counter. \"I'll see you when you get home. Maybe we can have blueberry waffles for dinner, too!\"\n\nBlueberry waffles for dinner, too? What a woman. I head off to work, now humming myself, thrilled that I get to serve my country and make a difference, and then come home to a woman I love. Judy. My wonderful wife of five years." ]	1
	[WP] You're an A-List actor and a couple has just paid 353,000 USD to eat dinner with you. All you can think to ask is, "Was it worth it?"	[ "\"That depends\" Jim leaned back in his chair, sighed, and leaned back in. \n\n\"Are you going to remake The Mummy, or are you going to sign this contract to get the antidote?\"\n\nTom Cruise's eyes widened. He smashes his fist down on the table. \n\n\"You bastard!\"\n\nAnd in the corner. Brendan Fraser smiles, before drifting away. ", "\"Stacey and I are huge fans, it's so nice to finally meet you.\" Jason and Stacey both shook my hand before taking their seats.\n\n\"Was it worth it?\" Was all I could ask. I have no idea why, it just kind of came out.\n\nJason looked confused. \"I don't... we just sat down.\"\n\nI had to apologize. \"Was it worth it?\"\n\nJason's was about to say something, but Stacey stepped it. \"I'm sure this is weird for you, but we just sold our company so the money isn't an issue. We just want to see what you're look in person. We saw \"Alone together\" on our first date and we've been big fans ever since.\n\nStacey seemed nice enough, giving me a chance to turn this around. \"Was it worth it?\" Shit.\n\nThis time Jason cut Stacey off. \"Listen, if you didn't want to do this you could have just said no, you don't have to be an asshole about it.\"\n\nJust don't say anything. Silence is better than... \"Was it worth it?\"\n\nJason's face was now drunk Irishman red. \"Just give us our money back and we'll leave!\"\n\nStacey was on the verge of tears. \"We never should have done this in the first place.\"\n\n\"Was... it... worth... it?\"\n\nJason flung his arm across the table, sending rolls and wine everywhere. I fell off my chair, landing on my back. Jason grabbed a bottle of wine and proceeded to dump the entire thing on my face. I just stood there and took it, I knew I deserved it.\n\n\"Damn right it was.\"\n\nThey left." ]	2
	[WP] Gravity is suddenly inverted. Anyone or anything not inside a solid building at the moment of the gravity switch is falling to their death into the vast hole that once was the sky.	[ "{'There are so many things that would not work in this story.'\nThe prompt did say the sky and not space so if you want to suspend disbelief then you can imagine that gravitational field vectors are being flipped for anything that isn't in a solid phase. Buildings are still standing, so you would probably be fine if you stood on the ground but as soon as you slipped and/or took both feet off of the ground then you would fall.}\n\nYou're inside a building when it flips, you don't immediately fall to the ceiling. Unfortunate people walking around outside and the leaves falling from trees are accelerating into the sky until they begin to bob in the top layers of the atmosphere.\n-Oh; this probably has an impact on the greenhouse effect.\nAnyway, the earths atmosphere has somehow become buoyancy-inducing to any solid (or liquid or solid-crystal) which isn't in physical (electrostatic) contact with the rest of the Earth.\n-Oh; this also might interact strangely with the water cycle and how liquid water droplets in clouds would normally float before.\nI guess that if you hit the roof of a building then you could slide down a wall to get back to the floor (or you could try jumping on the roof if you're not worried about it breaking.)\n\n{I hope that this is enough of a story to be an acceptable top-level comment, even if it is nothing of a narrative.}", "As the gravimeter dropped down to zero, you knew it was already too late. For a spinning planet, zero gravity may as well be no gravity. With no gravity to hold it together, the Earth's equator bulged out into space, taking its atmosphere with it.\n\nFor the first few moments, the air was still breathable, it hadn't yet lost its pressure. But it wasn't long before the atmosphere dispersed into a vacuum. Those few who prepared for the Terran Gravitational Anomaly stayed in their bunkerships on the North Pole, and prepared for rocket motor ignition. Space travel is fairly easy without gravity at least, but Mars is hardly a replacement for Earth. Watching the molten rock and dust fly out into space was absolutely tragic. So many species of life extinguished. The Seed Vault was probably still intact somewhere out in the rubble, but it would be irrecoverable.\n\nCenturies later, all that would be left of the Earth would be a ring of rocky debris orbiting the Sun, and two small Moon-sized spheres: The Moon itself, which had been launched into a Venus and Mars crossing trajectory, and the remnant core of the Earth, a huge and now rapidly cooling sphere of Iron and Nickel.\n\nThe Solar System's new large asteroid belt was far, far more massive, and unstable. Several chunks were visible to the naked eye on a good night. The Moon, now exclusively called Luna, tore through the belt as it went, and each time Luna flew close by Mars, astronomers would chart its new craters. Many would still be molten and glowing. Due to a lot of luck, Luna would rarely cross the orbit of Mars dangerously.\n\nThe seeds and embryos packed on the bunkerships were enough to start a terraforming process. Global warming is humankind's specialty. Only 200 years (Martian Years) after Mars was first colonized, it entered its own anthropocene era. Over the centuries, Luna's orbit had evened out and placed itself just above the former orbit of the Earth. Astronomers knew this would be unstable over large timescales, but there wasn't really anything to be done about it anyway. Earth's core, renamed simply \"Iron,\" was also gaining impacts as it charged through the debris cloud. Iron's higher density made it more massive than Luna, and it happily flung chunks out in every which way. Most of these would miss Mars and tended to hit the new most massive terrestrial planet of Venus.\n\nAstronomers panicked when they found an absolutely massive chunk of Earth heading towards Mars. This was an object large enough to be spherical in its own right. Through careful shots of lasers and nuclear detonation, the asteroid was deflected enough that it would simply fall back down and come back a few centuries later.\n\nA series of massive impacts on Luna shifted its orbit slightly, enough to put it in a dangerous resonance with Venus. Luna's orbit was now more difficult to predict, but astronomers insisted it was safe for the time being.\n\n2,022 years after the event that destroyed the Earth, Luna passed, for a short few minutes, within the roche limit of Venus. This shifted Venus' orbit and made it eccentric and inclined, further complicating mathematics. Luna was also affected by the encounter. It was now covered in volcanoes from the stressful few minutes it was near Venus. It was also moved down in its orbit to be dangerously close to Venus.\n\nIron meanwhile was also occasionally affected by Lunar flybys. It went outwards as Luna went inwards, and it found itself in a resonance with Mars. This would be far more catastrophic for the latter, as the masses of Iron and Mars were much more similar than Luna and Venus. Astronomers facepalmed as they calculated Iron's new trajectory.\n\nIron was now headed for the outer solar system, by way of Mars. Mars would be shifted inwards. At first this wouldn't have been so bad, as it would allow more sun and less cold. Unfortunately the inward orbit was still full of debris. Within a decade of repeated flybys with Iron (that would also disrupt the satellites of Mars!) Mars would be in danger.\n\nThe final flyby allowed citizens of Mars to see their planetary murderer. It was bruised in its own right, having taken the brunt of the impacts so far. It was already 10% more massive than it had been when Earth was first dismantled ^^[hah! get it?]. Iron passed Mars and flew out the other direction, spewing cursewords at it.\n\nOnly 3,200 years after the Martian Antropocene, a new era began: The Martian Hadean era. Mars was very quickly made uninhabitable due to repeated impacts. Now the dominant force within the new asteroid belt, it gobbled up the remainder of the Earth within only a million years. The new planet had come full circle. It was now called Theia, after the object which formed the Earth and Moon system billions of years ago.\n\nIron's fate was sealed the moment it left for the outer solar system. Repeated flybys of Jupiter led to its capture into orbit, causing it to fall back down towards the inner Jovian system where it became Jupiter's fifth large moon. This was also unstable over long periods of time, and would cause the cascade destruction of Jupiter's moons. New ones would later form.\n\nLuna eventually collided with Venus, stripping it of its atmosphere. Over a billion years (Venusian Years) after Earth was destroyed, Venus cooled down to the temperature Earth had in the past. With a new thinner atmosphere, it wasn't as hot as it had been before. Liquid water oceans flowed back onto the planet, and the final leftover meteor fell upon its surface: The Svalbard Seed Vault.", "I was in the garden when it happened. One moment I'm watering the flowerpots, the next I'm frantically holding onto the hose pipe as my world turns upside down. Literally. \nUnfortunately, I'm not a strong man, and my grip slid on the hose, sending me plummeting into the sky. As I fell, or perhaps flew, my floral display fell with me. The strangest thing was the geraniums, slipping past with a muttered utterance; \"Not again.\" " ]	3
	[WP] A genie grants all of your wishes that you had made under your breath before you met.	[ "God I wish I had a blackout curtain I mumbled as I opened my eyes and the sun peered in through the window\n\nI rolled my legs over the side of the bed and hoisted myself up as my feet hit the carpet. \n\n8:50 am\n\nGreat, another day late for work. Somebody needs to just blow that hellhole up so I can actually do something with my life\n\nI called my manager to tell him I was stuck in traffic as I sat down at my computer desk and flipped my laptop up. Downstairs I could hear my roommate clanging dishes around in the kitchen as he got ready for work.\n\n50 bucks says he leaves the dishes in his sink I smiled as I looked at my 54 dollar bank account balance. Don't know who I was betting, but I know I'd win.\n\nI looked at all the other open tabs from the previous night on my browser - WritingPrompts - Scribophile - my University English Department - porn - reddit - amazon - bestbuy - linerider.\n\nIf only I could focus. If only I could stay focused on my writing, I know I'd be good. I wish I could just have an amazing novel published, just to say I did it I stated as I turned in my chair\n\nI got up and put my jeans on, threw yesterdays t-shirt over my torso, opened the door and got ready to head downstairs. As I turned to lock my room I saw a vase on the end-table next to my bed. I let my mind run through the highlights of memories over the past couple of days, then months, then years.\n\nI'd never seen that vase before.\n\nI walked up to it, thinking maybe it was a gift from my roommate. Maybe my mom had sent me something and he walked it up here.\n\nYea but if it was in a package why would he open it and place it right next to your bed I asked myself\n\nI picked it up. It's thin neck rounded out to a short open bottom and the cold exterior sent a soothing feeling of calm through my skin. The deep blue paint shined against the sunlight coming through the blinds of my window. On the very bottom were engraved designs, barely visible because of their size. I squinted close trying to make them out as I slowly spun the vase in my hand. I looked at my clock\n\n9:20 am\n\nFuck it I thought I don't need that job anyway\n\nI turned back to the vase and realized the deep blue color had begun to swirl into a dark purple. As the colors gradually shifted from light to dark the vase began to warm up. I threw it on my bed as the cool, calm feeling that had been coursing through me gave way to a gut instinct of dread - like the gazelle who knows the lion is there milliseconds before it pounces.\n\nWishes Granted a voice echoed out of the jar almost as soft as the polished exterior. Then the vase went black, the words disappeared. \n\nOk, I'm dreaming. I'm not actually late for work, I do actually have 54 dollars in my bank account, but its not daylight out, and I'm still laying in bed unconscious I thought\n\nI'm sorry, all of those things are false a voice from behind replied.\n\nI thought my neck would snap before the rest of my body had time adjusting to the 180 degree turn I made. Sitting in my desk chair was a brunette woman with a blue skirt and the most gorgeous hazel eyes staring at me.\n\n\"Where'd you come from\" I shouted\n\n\"No need to get sassy\" she replied. Her voice almost seemed to echo. It wasn't loud, it sounded almost as if we were in a cave\n\n\"Sassy\" I squinted at her, cocking my head in a questioning manner as if she'd just offended me in the utmost way.\n\n\"Well, I'm not here for long so I'll get right to it. You're wishes - everyone you've ever made - have been granted. No further wishes will be given. No, you do not get three. Yes, I am a genie. No, you are not dreaming and\"\n\nJust as she was finishing her statement my phone rang\n\n\"Hello\"\n\n\"Dude! Are you Ok?! Holy shit!\" My roommates pleading and scared voice shouted through\n\n\"What...What are you talking about\" I replied, my eyes laying fixed on the beautiful woman that sat at my desk\n\n\"Industrial Technologies Man! Someone just bombed it!\"\n\nI turned away from her gaze\n\n\"What!\" I replied, my eyes widening as I ran to my window\n\n\"Yea, man. They say this guy just ran in there and blew it up! Bet you never thought you'd here this but Thank God you were late! Haha man it's so good your ok!\"\n\n\"I gotta go\" I said as I turned back to my mysterious companion\n\n\"No, this isn't happening\" I stated\n\nShe didn't look up from my computer and began scrolling through my tabs\n\n\"Dirty dirty boy\" she said as the cursor passed over my porn tab and opened a new tab to begin typing. As she did she continued her previous line of conversation, the one that convinced me I was dreaming.\n\n\"As I was saying. You are not dreaming. I am a genie, blah blah blah. All your wishes have been granted, every wish you've ever muttered under your breath has come true\" she pointed at the screen.\n\nShe had typed my name into Google. On the front page was a picture of me. Under it a brief Wikipedia bio. And under that four books with the caption 'Books by this author'. Two of them had covers with New York Times best sellers and one of them had a gold, unmistakable spiky sticker. \n\n\"Oh, a Pulitzer, nice\" she smiled\n\n\"How is this...how\"\n\n\"The how is not important. My job here is almost done\" she stated as she clicked the tab with my bank account.\n\nThe two digit 54 had turned into six figures of 1's and 0's with change.\n\nMy phone rang again\n\n\"H-h-hello\" I stammered as I fell back and laid on my bed\n\n\"Oh, thank God!\" my dad replied \"You're mother, is she with you!?\" his voice came through with a hint of agony and exasperation\n\n\"What, no. Why would Mom be...\"\n\n\"She came to your work today. She was going to surprise you for your birthday\"\n\nI sat up and stared at the genie. Her eyes had begun to water and she turned away. I hung up the phone.\n\n\"What is going on?\" I almost shouted\n\nShe didn't turn around. And her hair, black with a tinge of purple had begun to slowly darken. I felt my gut ache as if I was going to throw up, my left arm started to give way to a feeling of pins and needles.\n\n\"All your wishes have to be granted, every single thing you've ever muttered under your breath, good and bad, have to be granted. They aren't my rules\" she turned and looked at me, tears streaming down her face \"When you were seven years old your mom...your stepmother... grounded you for pushing your little brother. As you ran up the stairs you muttered that you wish she would just die. All your wishes have to be granted, I'm so sorry\"\n\nI sat on my bed, shell-shocked and trying to think of everything I'd ever muttered under my breath. Nothing nice ever came from muttering under ones breath. If what you believed was true then you usually just said it. If it was nice, you spoke it to the person, if it was mean you usually just kept it in your head. But when you mutter something, you feel the urge to have to speak a hateful thought, even if you don't want anyone to hear it but yourself. It confirms what you think to be true or your want to be an 'ok' want even if its immoral. I tried to think but my head began to ache. I looked out the window as tears filled my own eyes. How many things had I muttered over the year? How much harm had I wished on other? How many times had I wished ill on a person that cut me off while driving? How many...\n\nAnd then it hit me. The pins and needles feeling had gradually begun to grow in my arm. I was having a heart attack. At 28 years old, with no-one in the house to help, I was having a heart attack. And I knew why.\n\n\"When you were 13 years old\" The genie got up and sat next to me on the bed. She place her arm around me and laid my head down on her chest. Then she laid back on the bed and pulled me with her \"The kids in school had picked on you so much. They called you names, they made fun of your weight, they shoved you, they always got you in trouble. And you turned out to be such a handsome person. But when you were walking home one day, the day they beat you up and called you worthless, you wished that you would just die.\"\n\nShe pulled my chin up and her eyes met mine.\n\n\"I'm so sorry, they aren't my rules, I'm trapped by things beyond my control\" she said as her tears fell past her cheeks \"You are such a good person, and you would have lived a great life before these wishes came true\"\n\nAs my body relaxed from the spasm I looked at the window. The light no longer shone from it. In it's place was a curtain, dark purple and laced with intricate designs.\n\nJust like one I would've picked I thought\n\n" ]	1
	[WP] After years of searching for your sisters killer you find away to go back in time only to find the killer is you.	[ "“Food is ready!” My mom yells from the dinner room.\nI close the photo album and stand up. My thoughts are far away, but I feel I am hungry.\n“I’m sorry, son.” My father put his hand on my shoulder. He knows what I am thinking about. And so does my mom, and my little sister. It has haunted me for years now, and it still does. I know that my parents think about it, about her, a lot too, but they aren’t obsessed with it like I am. Today, March 21th is her birthday, she would’ve been 21. But she never lived to be older than 9. I was seven years old when she died. Little Claire was only 2 then, she didn’t know Amelia. But I do, we were very close, I even was the last one to see her, to talk to her, but I cannot remember what happened. I couldn’t remember it 12 years ago, when I was at the police office, nor can I remember today. I went to the cemetery this morning, and put new flowers on her grave. \n\nRemembered with love\nAmelia grace young\n03.21.1990 - 08.12.1999\n\nI talked to her, like I do every time, but she doesn’t hear me. She doesn’t answer me. I don’t know why I fell so bad about it. Maybe it is because if only I could remember what happened that day, she could rest in peace. But now no one knew what happened. The police decided it was suicide and closed the case. I know my parents didn’t believe it, but they accepted it. Something I could not do. I knew it wasn’t true. My sister would never kill herself, she loved life. Ever since that day I have been investigating. Now, 11.5 years later, I still didn’t know what happened. Maybe investigating isn’t my thing, but at the day of her funeral, I promised her that I would find her killer and take revenge. \n“Ethan, please stop.” My father interrupts my thoughts. “I know it is hard for you, but so is it for us. And it is over. It is not your fault, and there is nothing we can change about it. I know you’ve been looking in the photo albums. But if instead of looking for clues, you would just try to remember the happy things. You’re making it hard for us too.” I see the tears in his eyes. But instead of apologizing, I slam my fist on the table, and run outside.\n“You just don’t give a single care about her! You never did!” I scream as I slam the door behind me. It is still cold outside, but I barely feel it. I kick the tree so hard it hurts my knee. The tears stream down my face, I bite my lip to stop the tears, but it doesn’t work. I just have to do Amelia justice by finding her killer. And have enough evidence so he goes to jail. It’s a promise, and I don’t break promises. \nI walk into the park and sit down on a bench, on the side of the pond. Some ducks squawk at me, but I ignore them. They know I mostly feed them when I go here, but I don’t have anything in my pockets right now. I silently apologise to them, but I don’t think they understand. A paper rolls by, I pick it up. It’s today’s paper. Even though it is covered with dirt I pick it up and start to read. One of the advertisements asks my attention. \nWorking time machine invented by Jacob Miller, 22 Queen Street. Looking for volunteer to try it out.\nThere is only one thing racing through my head now. What if I could go back in time and find who killed my sister. Queen Street is the other side of town, but I must walk by it now, just to talk to this man. I stand up and start to walk. I know where Queen street is, the only thing is that it is at least 45 minutes from the park. I avoid my own street, so that costs me another 5 minutes. I cross Park Ave, and William Street, and I smile when I see the sign with Queen Street on it. I walk down the street to find number 22. It is a small house, small but still 4 stories high. The door sign tells me it indeed is this house. 22, J. Miller. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. No answer. I knock another time. Just as I want to walk away, I hear someone walking on the stairs. The door slowly opens and a small, old man appears. He doesn’t look like how I imagined inventers at all. He looks a bit like my former sports teacher, but then a foot shorter. He wears an Adidas suit, and casual sneakers. \n(1/2)" ]	1
	[WP] You're a 15 year old boy who meets a girl at a camp. You fall in love with, but she lives really far away. The two of you slowly start to drift apart over the years. Fast forward 10 years later and you meet again.	[ "\"Aaron?\"\n\nThe crates were stacked against the side of the dacha. Fruits, water, enough to feed a family for a year. I'd sat down for the first time since dawn, desperate to get out of the burning sun, and then she was there. I jumped up, wiping dust from my overalls and casting my eyes to the ground.\n\n\"I'm sorry ma'am.\"\n\n\"Aaron. It's me. Julia. From Apex.\"\n\n\"Begging your pardon ma'am, but you must have me confused with someone.\"\n\n\"What's your name?\"\n\nI shifted a bare foot in the dirt. \"Daniel, ma'am.\"\n\n\"And if I were to ask the guardmaster?\"\n\nShe was staring at me when I looked up. She was wearing robes in her Family's colours. The hot wind from the eastern plains kicked up and she clutched at her sunhat.\n\n\"Please don't,\" I said.\n\n\"Aaron, is it really you?\"\n\nWhy couldn't she leave me alone? If any of the guards saw us, a slave talking to a Family member, I'd quickly become familiar with the whip again. I took a single step back.\n\n\"Stop,\" Julia said. \"If it's you, nod. Just nod.\"\n\nRun. My mind shouted it at me. Run and hope they don't beat you too badly this time. The nod was tiny, more a tremor than a motion, but she rushed towards me. I stood frozen, fearing the mess the dirt from my overalls would leave on her robes, but she paid it no mind.\n\n\"Come!\" she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the shadow of the house's porch.\n\n\"Ma'am.\" The guard blocked the entryway, his face hidden behind the opaque visor. The big man flexed the metal ribbons sewn into his arms. \"Dirt slaves are to stay outside.\"\n\n\"Then I promote him to paper slave.\"\n\n\"Ma'am?\"\n\n\"Do you question the orders of a Family member? Perhaps you would like to take up his previous position?\"\n\n\"No ma'am. My apologies.\"\n\nJulia smiled at me and continued through. The guard's mask followed me inside.\n\nI had never been inside the Dacha before. It was furnished with electric lights and cooling breezes from the vents. I tried to avoid the furs draped across the floors. Julia led me to the kitchen where another slave was preparing the evening meal, an older woman in the spotless uniform of a paper slave.\n\n\"Kin, bring me a bowl of water and some fresh clothes for this slave,\" Julia said.\n\n\"Yes ma'am.\" The older slave looked at me for only a moment before she disappeared.\n\n\"Where have you been?\" Julia asked as soon as we were alone.\n\n\"I was bought before they closed the camp. I was working at a lumber mill in the south before the trees died.\"\n\n\"The camp,\" Julia said, nodding. \"Apex.\"\n\nIt was where we had met. A million people displaced, heading north as the deserts spread and the land turned to ash. The refugee camps became prisons and then, after the Families decided it, market-stores for the only thing left: labour.\n\nThe paper slave returned and set a bowl of warm water down. A bundle of pressed clothes were set on the counter. Julia dismissed the woman from her duties. When she picked up the sponge and began to daub it in the water I protested but Julia only smiled.\n\n\"I never said thank you,\" she said, wiping the dirt from my feet. The callouses were thick and she scrubbed hard.\n\n\"Ma'am?\"\n\n\"That night. I was naive back then, unaware of my Family's... relation to the world.\"\n\n\"You were innocent ma'am.\"\n\nShe smiled and rinsed the sponge out, turning the water brown.\n\n\"The idea of an escort was so stifling! I wanted to walk freely through the people I thought we were helping. Looking back now, I don't know what I expected.\"\n\nShe looked up at me. I trembled with the fear someone would find us. Her name would be tarnished forever surely. And me...\n\n\"You saved me,\" she said. \"When that man threatened me, you didn't hesitate. You took me to safety.\"\n\n\"It didn't stop you from coming out the next night,\" I said quietly. \"Ma'am.\"\n\n\"No. No it didn't. But I knew I would be safe with you by my side Aaron.\"\n\nShe pulled the neck of my overalls down and let the water cool the burnt skin there. I could feel her breath.\n\n\"It's time I returned the hope you gave me,\" she said." ]	1
	[WP] Write a romance. No bullshit, no twists, just genuine and entertaining.	[ "\"She's driving me mad! That's insane to be that focused on studies!\" Jack, my friend, said.\n\n\"Why don't you leave her alone then?\" I asked him\n\n\"Well, because I find it entertaining and moreover, I think it's not just about studies now, it's a war and I'm gonna attack her on the field of love. And I think you should date her friend, Lisa\" he said with a grin.\n\n\"No, I'm fine, I don't want to date a crazy girl who thinks that men are enemies\"\n\n\"As you wish, but she's fiiiine\"\n\n------------------------\n\nWhen Sandra, the hard-worker girl, realized my lazy friend Jack was the number one student at the exams, she thought it was a challenge and started to taunt him about studies. Jack, who did the less he could, laughed about it and then started to hang out with her just to mess with her.\n\nIt became pretty obvious after several weeks that Sandra was starting to fall for Jack but her pride wouldn't let her live that glooming love. Her friend, Lisa, was let down by a guy sometimes before and decided that men were just interested in woman to satisfy their most primitive instincts and nothing more. Me? I'm Nick and I was just hanging with them because Jack was my friend but I had no interest in that situation.\n\nWe were used to hang out together and we all liked it, Jack and Sandra were fighting/flirting and I was trying to befriend Lisa. Though, one day after the results, Sandra found out that her grade got down by a bunch, so Lisa came to me and said\n\n\"I'm sure Jack is just there to mess up with Sandra, but I won't allow it, you understand? She has to prepare her future\"\n\n\"Don't you think you should tell that to Jack, instead of me?\" I said, blankly.\n\n\"He won't listen to me, that guy has bad intentions toward her and I don't like that. You have to tell him to stop, Nick\"\n\n\"None of my business, and it's not yours too. I know you are concerned by Sandra's behaviour, but she's a grown up now and you should talk to her. If everything you have to tell her have sense, she will definitely listen to you\"\n\n\"Raaaah! Why are you so... Like that?! Isn't he your friend?! And why won't you look me when I talk to you?!\" Lisa smashed my book and got out of the room I was reading in.\n\nI couldn't tell her my reasons because she wouldn't understand it. Yes Jack had intentions toward Sandra, but it was just because he was attracted by her and had to fight his loneliness. What he thought was just a game turned out serious and now he seriously wanted to date her but the only way he found to approach her was that kind of fighting relationship. Why didn't I look at Lisa's face? Because with the weeks passing by, I found out I was attracted to her and I was losing my mind when I looked her.\n\nI knew what Jack was thinking about Sandra, it was serious. Sandra was starting to change her mind about Jack. I wanted Lisa and to remain neutral in this comedy. But I had no idea about what Lisa was thinking, especially about me.\n\n---------------------\n\n\"Ask her out, you coward!\" taunted me Jack.\n\n\"I have no idea what she's thinking anymore! This girl was a man-hater, then we were friends, and when you two started dating, she suddenly avoided me. I'm heels over head with her, that's frustrating! For the first-time I give a fuck about what someone is thinking about me\"\n\n\"Sandra told me that you are troubling her. Lisa's been telling for a while that she didn't want to date someone but it stopped recently, while we were hanging out actually. Then she started to be friend with you, that was something she didn't do in a long time. You were so uninvolved by this, if she wasn't interested, she would have let it down. You are not go to break the ice, and Lisa kept speaking with you, you have to understand there is something!\"\n\n\"I'm gonna ask her out now!\"" ]	1
	[WP] You can now opt to physically fight your personal demons (depression, anxiety, bad memories, etc.). The difficulty of the fight depends on how strong the problem is, but it's always a fight to the death.	[ "I think the biggest shock was the size. After years of being twisted and controlled by it, I had always assumed it would be this massive beast when we faced each other. Not a small animal hiding in the corner.\n\nI hefted my sword, staring as it cowered. For a monster formed from my rage, it seemed so meek and scared, as if it didn't wish to fight me. I knew better though, it hated me. It lived to torment me. And now I had a chance to end it. No mercy. \n\nThe fight was fast. Brutal. I cut it down before it even had a chance to retaliate. It was...liberating. Like shackles that had been holding me down for years had finally been taken off. I gazed up at the sky, and smiled. I was ready to finally start my life free of my rage. \n\nThe door to the arena opened then, and a man with a gun walked in, \"Another young prospect killed by their demons I see.\"\n\n\"I won though,\" I said, gesturing at the corpse. The man stared at me, and aimed his gun towards my head.\n\n\"I'm so sorry. It seems your demons had a greater hold on you than you realized.\" \n\n\"What are you talking about? I killed it.\" I pointed at the corpse another time, this time turning to see it was actually dead. That's when I saw it. The twisted, destroyed body looked familiar. Shockingly familiar. I let a gasp out as realization hit me. \n\nI was looking at myself. Dead and mangled by vicious claws. A quick glance at my hands showed that they were long and pointed, drenched in blood. \n\nI turned back to the man, \"No. There must be some mistake. Please, this has to be all wrong.\" \n\nThe man shook his head, \"No mistake. Sometimes this happens. We don't realize how deep of a hold on us our demons have till we come here, and realize they're more us than we are. It's uncommon, but it sadly means I can't let you leave. Raw emotion like you can't walk the streets.\" He fingered the trigger of the gun, clearly ready to fire. \n\n\"No. Please. Can't we re...\" I was cut short as the gun fired, the pain of the bullet tearing through my brain the second to last thing I felt. As I fell to the floor, my mind was twisted apart. Not by the bullet, but by unimaginable rage. \n\nGuess my demons won after all.", "First time poster, and I'm doing it on a phone, so please be gentle, interwebs...\n\nI took a deep breath, and looked around. I'd heard horror stories about what people had seen when engaging in their own battles, but this... Wasn't what I'd expected.\n\nI was told before I came to expect an arena. The environment within depended on the demons you were facing, but it was always a true fighting arena, almost gladiatorial in scope. Instead, I was surrounded by fog, in innumerable shades of grey. Perhaps I was putting too much stock in hearsay, especially since I knew that the vast majority of fighters failed. Thus, the number of \"victors\" would likely have been lying.\n\nI caught a glimpse of movement flash past the corner of my eye. Whirling around, I saw another dash past the other way. \"Great,\" I thought. \"Of course I have multiples.\" I'd been told that it happened. No one only has one demon in their heads, but it was rare that a second would encroach on a duel in this manner.\n\n\"What else could you possibly have thought would happen?\" A mocking voice called out from the shadows.\n\n\"I was trying to avoid expectations, but I guess that one failed.\" I replied, trying not to think about how this voice was able to read my mind.\n\n\"This is in your mind, silly boy. Every thought is resonating with all of us in here.\" A figure approached me, parting the mists as they did. It looked like me, right down to the sarcastic smirk. But at the same time, just a little not. The way it stood, the cast of its shoulders, spoke of a level of arrogance I wasn't really familiar with. Not consciously, anyway.\n\n\"I take it you're Pride?\" I asked, warily watching every step it took.\n\n\"Not exactly, but I guess that's probably the best approximation. I'm the manifestation of every time you felt superior to someone else. As you can tell, it wasn't all that many. Enough though.\"\n\n\"How many others are here? You said 'all of us'...\" I trailed off. If this one was my \"superiority\" made manifest, what else was lurking in the darkness.\n\n\"Well, to use one of your favourite turns of phrase, approximately one metric fuck ton. You've got so many monsters in here that we had a fight to see who'd get to battle you.\"\n\n\"Would I be correct in assuming you won?\"\n\n\"Far from it, my friend. I wanted to avoid this. I like you too much to want to fight you. But it was decided that I ought to be the one to give you a 'heads up', as it were. You see, your opponent is the essence of that most powerful of your experiences. You know the one. Good luck...\"\n\nAnd with that, the demon with my face faded into the fog again. He was right. I did know who my enemy was. One I'd wrestled with so many days, all day.\n\nI looked up, and saw the twisted face of all of my anger, rage and hatred surge down towards me...", "You have worn yourself out in the gym until your knuckles are raw, you have practiced jabs and left hooks and uppercuts with all the technique of an overweight slob. You have practiced clawing out eyes, going for the genitals. You have a switchblade in your back pocket, because fuck playing fair, right? You're still not entirely comfortable with using a blade, but hey, if you were a competent and functioning human being, you wouldn't be doing this to begin with, right? And your muscles are sore and you think you've pulled something in your right shoulder and you are still, as always, grossly unprepared, but you can't put this off forever. \n\n(maybe a part of you wants to lose)\n\nSo you turn off all the lights and you get down on your knees and you dry heave, expelling it, all of it, and you wait for the slow grey light of something like dawn until you can see again, and there's your opponent standing five feet away from you, silhouetted against the light, shuffling forward uncertainly. \n\nIt's you. Of course it's you. It's always been you. Why were you ever expecting anything different? \n\nBut on second glance, maybe it's not you after all. That's your face, true, but the skin is ... diffuse, melting. Maybe it's the grey light, but its edges are blurred, its features stretching out like melted plastic, like a bloated grey carcass half-dissolving in the murky water. And its mouth is moving now, flapping, that uncomfortable alien sound of hearing your own voice played back to you, the words slurring into nonsense, and you think that maybe this won't be as difficult as you imagined. \n\nYou are on your feet, all thought of technique gone, just charging it at its midsection. It is solid, like flesh, rippling with your weight, and your opposing masses cancel each other out, the two of you toppling to the ground together. Its hand is clawing at your face, its legs threshing the air, and you feel a small moment of panic. You are on top and you bring your fist down on its face, skin splitting open, a semi-solid mass shifting under its cheek. Cold fingers gouge at your eyes and you manage to peel its hand off your face, bending the fingers backwards until they snap. It ripples. It makes a sound like screaming. You've got one hand tangled it its hair, the strands cutting lines into your fingers, and with your other hand you go for its eye sockets, digging in, and something pops. Your fingers are wet. There is a dead wet stench that hangs in the air, clings to the inside of your throat, your nostrils. It stinks like a clogged drain, like dead leaves rotting,\n\n(like semen)\n\nlike a jar of coagulated spit, and you hook on to an eye socket and you pull and the thing stretches. You watch your face scream. You grip down on its hair and its scalp peels off. There's a dull red jelly streaking down underneath. There are teeth. Its fingers claw inside your mouth and you bite down and gag as your throat floods with the dead wet stench, and you are vomiting for real, a rough flake of fingernail clinging to your tongue. You lean forward and collapse into it. It expands. It bursts. It welcomes you in. \n\nYou are tangled in sloughed-off sheets of skin. You are suffocating. It is vast, vaster than you could ever have imagined, and you are drowning in it. You thrash, seeking purchase, and razor thin wires tighten around your fingers until they bloat and nearly go numb. Somehow, you still have a fist full of its hair. You focus on that, pulling until the tips of your fingers go purple, watching the filaments go tight until you can trace them back to their source. And there it is, your head, your face, seen from the inside-out and still as detestably recognizable. You pull tight, pulling yourself closer. Your fingers are going to pop. Your free hand feels for the knife in your back pocket. \n\nYour face rips apart the moment the blade slashes across it, its edges waving ragged like a pillowcase. And you cut and you cut and you cut until the light comes in, until there's the sharp hot smell of blood cutting through the stench, \n\n(it doesn't bleed, it doesn't bleed)\n\nand you hold on to that thin hot line of pain and you are through, you are back through to the other side. \n\nAnd you have a fistful of its hair and it is bleeding, red blood splashed across it, trickling hot down your arm, and it is writhing and deflated and shriveling up at the salt and it -\n\nit is crying \n\nIt is you, and it is curled up on the floor crying, little gasping hiccups escaping its throat. Its arms are slashed up and it is bleeding from its scalp from where you pulled out a chunk of its hair - the strands are hanging limply, bloody, from your fingers - and it is curled up and waiting to die. And it would be so easy to end this, all you would need to do is slit open its throat and let it bleed out on the floor. \n\nIt's helpless. \n\nIt would be a mercy. \n\nAnd it is you, as nasty and as ugly and as hateful as you are, a sagging sack of flesh curled up on the floor. And it's in pain. And that's all it is, it's in pain. You could kill it, you could slit its throat right now. \n\nThe knife slips from your hands and you crawl over to it and touch it with bloody hands, and it doesn't resist, and it lets you hold it. There is something warm there, underneath the grey melting flesh. You can feel its heart beating. It sags against you, quiets. It is going diffuse, dissipating. You see your hands through its translucent skin. And then it drapes itself over you like a caul, and then it is gone. \n\nYou can feel it draining back into you, into your skin, into your chest, deep down into the pit of your gut. It goes cold there. It begins to fester. It will lick its wounds and savor the pain, it will rise and fall with tides, it will suck its pain down into an ugly gaping hole and it will re-surge and it will resurface and it will try to swallow you whole. You had your chance, you could have killed it, and instead you let it live. You have started this fight, and now it will not end until one of you is dead. \n\nAnd you will fight it, again and again and again. You will fight it to the death. ", "My chest heaved. I was drowning in the air. Leaning against the wall I felt a fuzz on the edge of my vision. The iron in my mouth. The ache of my joints. It danced with the searing. The cold lines on my skin. And the weight, building on my chest. My vision was pain and the world was getting colder by the second. \n\n-----\n\nThis all started two weeks ago. My friend offered me a way out. Not the kind I normally thought of too. He told me I could be free. No more nightmares. No more waking in a cold sweat. No more insomnia. No more pacing. I would get to feel he promised me. I could look at the skyscrapers and see them for their beauty, not their unintended utility.\n\nNow, I don't believe most folks when they say they can help me. That cognitive behavior therapy or mindfulness group you've got a pamphlet for? Already there. I've been fighting this my whole life; there isn't much anyone else can do for me at this point. \n\nBut my buddy. Well I met Dan in the east wing lounge...\n\n It was the first day I was allowed out of bed; they probably shouldn't have let me up yet, but I was going stir crazy. I was at the window. It overlooked a bright fall forest. We were up a few floors: eye level with the tree tops. I think it was supposed to be symbolic. Nothing in the way for us to look up. But that was a fundamental flaw in their perception. We needed something to look up towards. Something to hold on to.\n\nMost of us saw our placement for what it was: just high enough that you could be sure.\n\n\"They ought to get the net out for you I take it?\" His voice jarred me out of my stupor. \"I'm Dan. You?\" I realized his hand was out stretched. I don't know how long I just stood there for. Collapsing my bubble, he just stood there with a half cocked grin. He wasn't confident or arrogant; he just wore the wing like a second set of skin. \n\nSlowly, I became aware of myself. I felt the breeze brush my ass under the gown. The itch under my bandages went from a gentle pulse to a maddening pounding. I slowly unfurled my arms. My hand moved towards his. My arm sloshed forward like a glacier. \n\n\"Hi\" was all my heart could manage as his hand clasped mine.\n\n\"I take it you and I will match?\" He gestured towards his arm. There I saw his own white scars. His own reminders.\n\nAnd a smirk managed to form on my face for the first time in a long time. \"We'll have to see when the bandages come off.\" And that's how I met my best friend.\n----\n\n\"So you're telling me all I got to do is fight my demons?\" I paused, waiting for the punchline to his joke. As he nodded, I began to wonder if I missed the joke. \n\n\"Dan. I've been fighting these demons my whole life. Every god damn day. You're either gonna have to start explaining more or I'll take you to the ward myself.\"\n\nDan paused. He wore his life on his sleeve. I watched him process my words, recognize his problem, and come up with his new plan of attack in the blink of an eye. He was quick, but you could watch his thoughts form.\n\nHe drew in his breath. \" I mean you have to literally fight them. I mean I give you a silver knife and you go forth and conquer. I mean you must literally fight your monsters.\"\n\nThe silence stretched. I was waiting for the gotcha. It wasn't coming.\n\n---\n\nThat night I found myself in a theater with Dan. Dan was already free apparently. He won his fight. And as I watched the ongoing battle of another man on the screen, I found reverence for my friend.\n\nThe man we watched fought two beasts. One was his size but slow, while the other was tiny but bounced all over. The man was bleeding. The beasts began to advance on him together now. Their claws lengthened. Their screams echoed the man's voice. They taunted him as they inched forward. Their mouths opened wider with each step. Their skin turned ash. Their teeth sharpened. Their bodies transformed from beasts to monsters. \n\nThe man looked up at his monsters. And he smiled. He smiled like a man about to live. \n\n(To be continued)", "This is my first prompt response, and I don't typically write, so please excuse any mistakes or awkward wordings.\n\n---\n\nThe old mage looked at me, nothing but pure concern in his eyes. \"Are you sure you want to do this?\" \n\nOf course I did. I didn't hunt down one of his kind for months only to chicken out. I was tempted to punch him, to hurt him in some way for insinuating that I couldn't do this, but not because he was questioning my bravery, rather, because I knew that I was barely able to bring myself to do it. I was scared out of my mind, for so many reasons. Who knows what would show up, what would happen? \n\nMy thoughts must have been plainly visible on my face, for the man nodded and spoke before I could respond. \"I know what you've gone through, how much this must mean to you. I'm know you have it in yourself to succeed.\" Oh, how I wish I could believe in me as much as you believed in me, old man. \"But before we begin, there is of course, the matter of payment.\"\n\nI silently handed him a small sack of silver coins. It was all I had, even after having sold everything I owned. He didn't even blink, just pocketing it with a solemn nod. I had heard tales of lords needing to sacrifice their power and wealth for a chance like this, I honestly expected to be turned down. I guess that I can't complain, though. \n\n\"Once I cast the spell, I'm afraid cannot undo it, nor help you. You will either kill it, or be slain by it. Do you understand?\"\n\n\"Yes.\" \n\nWith that, the wizard placed his palm on my forehead. I couldn't stop myself from pulling back slightly at the sudden touch, but I found that I couldn't move away. In fact, I couldn't move at all! \n\nJust before my panic could rise, the wizard spoke. \"Calm yourself, boy. You don't want to make this demon any more powerful than it needs to be.\" That is.. a really good point, actually. I forced myself to try to breathe calmly, before realising that I couldn't even breathe. That didn't exactly help my panicking.\n\nPulling his hand away, the man pointed the same palm away from us. Lightning flashed from his hand, striking the ground a few feet in front of him, though no sound accompanied it. For some reason, this unnerved me. He turned to me as a sickly black tar began to bubble out of the ground. \n\n\"I will remain and watch, that I may mend your wounds once you win. Know that should you lose, I will be unable to heal you. That is the way of this magic. I'm sorry that I can't help you further.\" His words barely registered in my mind as I watched the sludge rise, forming a vaguely human shape. \n\nI drew my dagger.\n\nThe sludge creature flashed a blinding white. \n\nI raised my dagger to defend myself, waiting for my vision to clear. \n\nI gasped. \"H.. Henry?\"\n\nHe was here. After three long years, he was back, and no worse for the wear, not even a scar on his chest from when he was taken from me.\n\nHe blinked a bit, before noticing me. Almost immediately, his eyes, full of the same confidence that I fell in love with, began to tear up, and he smiled widely.\n\n\"I couldn't leave you alone for too long, you know? I'm not that cruel.\" He spread his arms, as though wishing for a hug. His smile turned into a grin. \"Come here, I know how much you've missed me. I watched you, you know, you can't hide it.\" \n\nHe knew me so well, he always did. Or maybe I was just obvious. Either way, I fell to my knees, my dagger making a soft thud as it hit the grass. I couldn't believe my eyes. Henry started walking towards me, eyes full of warmth and comfort that I so desperately needed. I've missed him so much.\n\nHe kneeled down in front of me, and hugged me. It was nice, all my worries melted away. I smiled for the first time in years. I was dimly aware of another voice yelling at me from the sidelines. It must have been the wizard. Damned mage couldn't let me have this moment? It's not my fault he must have cast the wrong spell. I would have to thank him for his mistake, though he'd probably charge more for it... \n\n\"Henry? I don't know how to pay back the wizard...\"\n\n\"Shh. It's okay. You're smart, and I'm clever. We'll find a way.\"\n\nHe was right. I finally found it in myself to hug back, tears in my eyes. \"I have so much to tell you.. I've been so alone.\" Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry... \n\n\"And I can't wait to hear it all. I love you, Michael.\"\n\nI couldn't stop myself from crying. I choked out, \"I love you too.\" \n\nMy back flashed with pain, and my chest grew cold. Everything began to grow so very, very cold. \n\nThe last thing I heard before I blacked out was Henry. \"You stole my heart. It's only fair that I steal yours.\"", "\"Depression? One punch and he was out.\n\n\"Anxiety? I curb-stomped him like there was no tomorrow.\n\n\"My good ol' pal Self-Doubt? Smothered him out with a pillow.\n\n\"Not to toot my own horn, but I have conquered all. I have seen all, I have felt all.\n\n\"All negative emotions, all of my demons—dead. I was born with a certain affinity to self-evaluation and self-improvement.\n\n\"I don't know how I did it, or why. But I guess it just comes natural to people like me.\n\n\"I guess that's what got me through in life with ease. I see all these people fighting with their inner demons on the TV or in the local stadium. It's always this big fight with lumbering giants, and it's always such a big deal that one of them will die. Sounds really fun. I'd envy them, you know, but I killed Envy long ago; I snapped its neck like it was a twig.\n\n\"Honestly, I can say with a doubt that I am—\"\n\n\"I wouldn't be too sure about that.\" The interviewer interrupted.\n\n\"Why's that?\" I cut in dryly.\n\nShe pointed over to the window of my booth, it looked over the arena. In the middle of the ring sat a hulking mass of muscle, sitting there like a dormant beast.\n\n\"Is that what think it is...\" My voice quivered; which is odd, because I killed Fear eons ago.\n\n\"Yes. That's Ego over there, waiting for you.\"", "I sat down beside the configurator, looked at my chart; anxiety: 22, fear: 48, depression: 89. His depression had risen since the death of his mother, and once it goes past 50 it rises incredibly fast. With the introduction of \"BattleSenses\" you have the option to fight your problems, many of my friends had done it, the results were mixed. My mother had a level 96 anxiety, she fought the damn thing. That thing was enormous, we watched it from the configurator screen, it was 4 meters in height, eyes red as blood, with 4 arms. A true level 90 monster. \n\n\"Are you going to fight the depression?\" my brother asked.\n\n\"I don't know, I feel my depression is just going to get stronger as the time goes. I don't have a choice!\" I said while fiddling with the configurator. I had never fought my problems, I guess I was old fashioned that way. I looked out the window, neo-lights were scattered around the city offering configuration help. They trained you, to become more adjusted to the fight. In my opinion they were just a scam, they just wanted your money. \n\nI glanced back at the configurator screen, I hovered the mouse over depression. I clicked, walked to the trans-pod. \n\n\"If I don't make it, tell father I tried… I god damn tried!\". \n\nSuddenly I was transported to a white room, the brightness hurt my eyes. I carefully looked around, no monster was present, just a small pocket knife. \n\n\"That’s weird, where the hell is it, it must be huge; a level 80 depression monster\". \n\nI waited, it must have been four hours, still no monster. Maybe there was a bug, I thought. Six days passed, no monster arrived. That’s when I figured it out, I picked the knife up, and destroyed the monster.\n\n--- Depression defeated ---\n", "Artesia walked quietly with gentle steps through the autumnal forest towards the cave of reflection. With each step she took, the crunching of fallen leaves echoed around her and the scent of their gradual decay, almost sweet, assaulted her nostrils. Glancing over her shoulder, she could still make out the gates of the shrine behind her. \n\n\nHer gaze was downcast at the well-worn path below her feet. How many people, all of them like her, had taken this route before her? How many had overcome their inner turmoil and returned to the world, reborn from within? How many had fallen in battle, victims of their own destructive minds?\n\n\nShe was so absorbed within these thoughts, that when a voice called gently out to her, she raised her head in shock. \n\n\n“Artesia?” it called out again. “Artesia Miller?”\n\n\nThere before her stood a kind-looking man, a bit on the older side of life, with soft eyes and a large nose. He was clean shaven, both face and head. His robes were red with golden trim, just like the others she had encountered at the shrine. A sash laden with archaic runes was tied around his waist, and he leaned forward on a walking stick, which appeared as though he had simply grabbed it from the forest floor around them.\n\n\n“Y..yes, that’s me.” \n\n\n“Welcome, my child. We have been expecting you. Everything is prepared for you – all you must do is enter the cave, when you find the courage.” \n\n\nArtesia looked beyond the little old man and stared intently at the dark opening of cave. It seemed to swallow the light that filtered in through the trees. \n\n\n“I’m ready, but…”\n\n\n“What is it, young one? What troubles you?”\n\n\n“What will I face inside? What will I need?” \n\n\nThe old man pondered this for a second and hummed to himself in thought. “You will face only yourself within that cave. Whatever you take with you, is what you shall fight. The only person in that cave will be you, and you alone. No one can help you, and only you can help yourself. Do you understand?”\n\n\nArtesia glanced at old man, avoiding his eyes and instead focusing upon the runes on his sash. “I think so,” she replied. “But I do not know if I am ready.”\n\n\nThe old man smiled and rested his hand upon her shoulder. “It is not a matter of being ready, my child. It is a matter of finding your courage. The courage to make a change in your life. Tell me, little one, have you found that courage? Has it enshrined your heart, guided your steps, and brought you here, to stand before me now?”\n\n\nThe girl looked upwards and met the old man’s gaze. His soft eyes stared into her wavering eyes. They narrowed into a look of determination. “It has.” \n\n\n“Then go now, and confront yourself. I will be here waiting for you.”\n\n\n“Thank you,” she said, and stepped back from his embrace. She bowed slightly to him, and turned towards the cave. Her hand moved reflexively towards the pocket of her tunic, wherein she felt the hilt of the concealed dagger she had fetched from her father’s wardrobe.\n\n\nShe would win this fight. Or she would perish in pursuit of her freedom – but choosing not to fight, to turn away and struggle with her mental burdens, would only be allowing them to win. Either way, the knife would pierce her flesh, by her own hand. She had nothing to lose. ", "“Jared, get your ass over here, ya gotta see this!”\n\nThat was my boss, Burt Clarkson, and this was the first time he had ever shown any sort of excitement when it came to the poor saps competing in the Psych Pit.\n\nNow, the technology for “Deep-Dive Psychological Exploration” has been around for almost 15 years now, started with full-immersion VR tech almost 20 years ago. The tech was adapted to port people into their own sub-conscious minds and physically, at least as physically as the user perceived it, change the way their minds worked. The pioneers of this stuff all went crazy or senile due to accidentally stepping on a memory or having their own worst fears manifest and destroy them.\n\nWho knew that allowing people to interact directly with their psyche was a bad idea? If the ethics committees of the 21st century were still around they’d probably have a fit.\n\n12 years ago the programming was reworked using inspiration from those same old VR games to create a mental barrier, allowing people to view their minds and create their own worlds but not directly interact with their brain’s “programming.”\n\n11 years ago the tech was once again updated to allow the negative aspects of a person's psychology to manifest and be interacted with without touching anything else.\n\n10 years ago, Burt cashed in on the tech and opened up the Psych Pit, an arena where contestants could fight their inner demons using modified VR Immersionware hooked up to streaming servers where people could tune in to view the fights and bet on the contestants. Competing was free, winning would directly result in the negative trauma or psychological disorder being purged. Losing turned people into raving lobotomites, vegetables if they were lucky.\n\nYesterday at 3:24 P.M. Burt uttered his first words of excitement, as the first ever diagnosed schizophrenic was about to enter the Pit.\n\n“Check out his profile!” Burt handed me the HoloTab. “Zack Mason, Diagnosed at age 16, grew up raised by unsavorys, Ma was into I-Cash extortion and Pa peddled laced somman pills to depressed academics, got them hooked on harder shit like skarps n’ then sold ‘em that too! Got kicked out at age 17 when they got tired of dealing with him and his condition.”\n\nI scanned the profile. “He’s still young, 19 years old. Do you think he can handle this?”\n\nBurt laughed at my question. “Look kid, you’ve been working here for 2 years now, I expect you to know the answer to that. How many people’ve we wheeled outta here for tryin' to deal with depression? Severe anxiety? You ‘member the kid with the stutter, Jane, trying to get over her old girlfriend?”\n\nI remembered Jane very clearly. Her ex had cheated on her with her brother. Poor kid manifested a goddamned vampire-succubus-harpy hybrid thing with 4 twisted arms and 50 of the most fucked up eyes I’d ever seen. Tore her to shreds. She opened her eyes wide when we brought her back, didn’t blink or respond the whole way out. I knew there was no way Zack was going to survive his inner demons, but then again, no one in his position had ever tried.\n\nI looked up from the HoloTab through the glass pane and into the Operating Room. The door to the room opened and Zack entered with our resident EMT. It wasn’t regulation for us to have any medical staff on the premise, but the frequency of incidents made it more convenient. Zack himself was a skinny looking guy, longish black hair, a psychotic and nervous look in his eyes, he had a couple of twitches and ticks, and kept looking around, almost as if he was afraid someone was going to jump out of the walls. Right then and there I was certain that his brain would liquefy in the machine.\n\nEMT hooked him up to the Immersionware, strapped him down to the table, and gave Burt the go ahead to port Zack in.\n\n“Alright, you know the drill Jare, get the stream goin’. Record it too, Randolph down at the psych clinic’ll have my ass if I let this happen without some data gettin’ saved.”\n\nI did my job and connected the server to the net, set up the stream, and started the recording. I looked at the monitor and saw Burt move the virtual camera around, getting a good shot of Zack. Immediately I knew things were off.\n\nNormally in a psych-dive, people end up in locations that they have been in before, memories cropping up to fill in an empty space. The more creative types set up their own impressions of what the inside of their heads look like in their imaginations, sometimes they look like giant digital rooms with circuits everywhere, other times they look like trees of branching neurons with memory pods growing at the ends. Worst case they just imagine a nightmarish hellscape.\n\nZack was standing in complete darkness. Worse still, his demeanor was completely calm, and he was smiling.\n\n“Burt, have you ever seen anything like this?”\n\n“Kid, I’ve seen a lot of shit, nothing is new to me. Literally, this nothingness is brand-fuckin’-new to me!”\n\nI kept watching, and saw something creeping out from behind Zack. To my surprise, to my horror, it was another Zack, nervous as we had seen him when he walked in, ticks and all. He went up to the calmer version of himself and started talking.\n\n“S-so, here I am.. I g-guess. We d-did it, now we c-can talk, right? We c-can f-fix us, right Zeke?”\n\nIt became a little clearer to me at that point. He had probably been hearing voices in his head, named one of them Zeke. Zeke did not immediately respond though, just smiled a little wider. His teeth became exposed, sharp, all of them. This wasn’t going to end well.\n\n“Z-zeke? That’s you, r-right?”\n\nZeke turned to face Zack and in a single motion raised his arms, stuck his hands in Zack’s mouth, and tore his bottom jaw clean off.\n\n“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!” I heard Burt yell out next to me. It only got worse from there.\n\nZeke tossed the jaw aside as Zack keeled over gurgling and choking on the loose tissue at the top of his mangled throat. Zeke moved forward, placed his hands on Zack’s shoulders, and thrust his knee straight into Zack’s chest cavity. A very large and pronounced bulge appeared on Zack’s back, and Zeke tossed him to the floor. Zeke then raised his foot up, and brought it down on Zack’s head. Melons and coconuts will be out of my diet for a couple of days.\n\nIt was at that moment that the server cut out, disconnected from the user, Zack. Usually that meant that the user had become a complete vegetable.\n\n“Fuckin’ shit. I thought I’d be used to this job after a fuckin’ decade. This is not what I was lookin’ to see when I got my ass outta bed today.”\n\n“Come on Burt, didn’t Jane get it significantly worse than this guy?”\n\n“Yeah, but you expect that from a 12 foot fuckin’ nightmare! This kid’s inner demon was basically himself, and it lured him here to murder him. That shit goes beyond just Immersionware.”\n\nI knew where he was coming from. It sounded like Zack didn’t want to be there, more like Zeke had convinced him to come. We’d never heard of that ever happening before. There’s a first time for everything though.\n\n“Wait… What the… Jared, look at that…”\n\nI looked into the Operation Room and saw the EMT unstrapping Zack from the table. He was not only conscious, but calm, controlled, and smiling slightly. With that the EMT led him out of the room.\n\n“Burt… what did we just witness?”\n\n“I don’t know, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to fucking believe, and I need to take the rest of the day off. Close the shop, postpone our appointments, and go home. If you need me, I’ll be down at the pub relapsing.”", "\"What are your demons?\"\n\nHis voice is curt and bored. He's been at this job too long. It doesn't matter to me, though. I want to be free of these shackles.\n\n\"I am easily tempted.\" I try to sound firm in my delivery. I don't want to come off as shy about the problems I'm about to face head on.\n\nHis tired and weary eyes look up to me with an annoyed expression. \"Aren't we all. What is _your_ temptation.?\"\n\nAh. That's the question. That's the moment where I will have to admit my sins. \n\n\"The flesh, _padré_.\" It took more effort to keep my voice from cracking.\n\nHis aged expression doesn't alter. He remains bored with my presence. \"Child, we are commanded by faith to seek flesh. Why do you think this is a demon with control.\"\n\nI cough to keep my throat from welling up in a heavy sob and tuck my hands behind my back. I fiddle with my wedding band, still snug on my ring finger. \"I have let them take much from me. I think it's time I take something back.\"\n\nThe padré sighs and looks back to his ledger, scrying something in short hand. His tone is that of a bored librarian as he gives me instructions. \"Follow the wall to the right. Second chamber on your left. There will be a fitting room for weapons and gear and a war-father to help you along.\"\n\nI try to pull in some air to breathe out a 'thank you' but I only manage a meek nod. I've never felt so small. That padré saw people willing to die to their demons in order to beat them _each day_ and I could barely justify standing in front of him. I did my best to look smaller and wander away when he called after.\n\n\"You may want to reconsider the fight, lad. When you see her, she'll flay you alive. She has never lost. You'll do well to learn to live with her or give yourself over.\"\n\nI stand as though my feet had grown roots. I feel the padré has just given me good advice but I don't know how to take it. The next person in line edges me out of the way. Her cheeks are matted with hair, wet from tears and she speaks manically. With nothing else, I shuffle down the passageway.\n\nThe demon battlers came to light in the past few decades. At first it had sounded like internet sensationalist taking up some sort of exorcism. Then as psychologists came to view the ceremonies and recoveries the science receeded to the wild frontiers of paranormal. I'd never tried to make sense of the demons, but the padrés always seemed to know how to handle the issue.\n\n_Either the human can defeat his demon or his demon claims him, we can only offer the chance._ \n\nThere were rumors that the padré's were an evil cult, sacrificing humans to demons. The first time a demon body was shown being cut down to ash by a young man tormented by his inhabitants, the world silenced it's questions. In many places, people tried to ignore the option, choosing to live with the chaos in and around them.\n\nI had too.\n\nI stood before the door and as I raised my hand to knock the broad wood slat swung away and an aged face smiled up at me. \"Come to fight a demon, have we?\"\n\nI gave him my bravest smile and he beckoned me in like a grandparent at Christmas. The chamber with a tall and wide cylinder, like the base of an ancient well. Armor stands shone brightly under LED displays. Swords and axes and clubs and knives glinted readily on racks. \n\nOld school weapons for old school ways, I supposed. \n\n\"How will you equip? Fast and light? Slow and sturdy?\" His old voice sounded as though he were a monk selling honey.\n\nI had taken fencing as an elective in school and then participated in the club at university. The rapier sat readily by a single breast plate that would guard my torso. I motion for the pair and the padré smiled.\n\n\"Ah, the _conquistador_ kit.\"\n\nIt took fifteen minutes to don, but I stood awkwardly against the ancient stone walls of the round room. I felt the sword. Heavier than the Olympic competition things we used on the quad at school. The sharpened tip sank into the sandy floor with ease. It was a well cared for tool of war.\n\nThe padré surfaced again with a wide, old tome and smiled to me. I could feel my pulse in my throat. I hadn't been in a real fight outside of some silly squabbling, ever. I felt doubt rise in me. The padré saw it too. He closes distance and rested a hand on the polished steel guarding my heart.\n\n\"Lad, we come here to slay the things that control us, but some things are not to be slain. Some demons exist for us to learn how to _tame_.\"\n\nHis words are paternal, a stark contrast to his brother who had greeted me. I draw a little figure 8 in the sand with the end of the rapier and try not to look at the war-father while I speak.\n\n\"I am controlled by this one, padré. I have to stop it now. I've lost too much already.\"\n\nThe war-father nods and takes up his position across the room from me.\n\nI should have listened to the first padré. I didn't stand a chance.", "In the beginning, this wasn't a sport. Crowds didn't show up to watch, bets weren't made on your odds. But every day, someone, half insane with their demons, agreed to be the entertainment. Some sick bastard had decided to bet on the man fighting. The man won, and the winning bet got five thousand pounds. But I digress. \n\nI am nervous, my heart is beating so fast I'm afraid I'll die. If I lose, that's what will happen anyway. I can hear the people from where I sit in the back room of the arena. They are screaming, chanting, my name. I don't want to go out there, I don't want to expose myself. But going to the arena is free, and in the black market I'd have to pay ten thousand pounds for the procedure. My mom is sitting next to me, holding my hand and crying. I don't have the courage to look in her hazel eyes and tell her her attitude is only making me feel worse.\n\n\"You don't have to do this, Melissa.\" She sobs. She doesn't get it. She doesn't know what it's like to feel trapped into your own body, to start crying suddenly, afraid to move, knowing people are staring at you in the street wondering what's wrong with the crazy teenager. \n\nIt ends tonight. Tonight, I create a record. Tonight I will be the youngest ever on the arena. The rules are simple. Kill your demon or die trying. My hands start shaking. The attack is coming. I run forward.\n\nThe door opens so fast it bangs against the wall and bounces shut. In the arena is a chair you could find in any dentist. It's all back, and velvety instead of plastic fabric. The doctor looks up as I enter. His eyes are sad. He doesn't agree with this any more than I do, but he doesn't have a choice either. He gives me his hand. He feels the shaking. He can see my wild eyes. They burn. I'm about to cry. He leads me to the chair and I sit. He looks down at me with pity, sympathy and regret. He prepares the needle for the serum.\n\n\"What's your name?\" I grab his hand suddenly.\n\n\"Jared.\" He fiddles with the needle, but answer.\n\n\"Thank you, Doc Jared.\" He's not that old, probably about twenty two. Age doesn't mean a lot when you're an arena doctor, besides, they only assign newbies there anyway. Something about toughing up. As Doc looks into my eyes trying to calm me, attaching the electrodes to me, I hear another voice. The mc's.\n\n\"Today's fighter is Melissa Schneider from Willesden Green, London. She is seventeen and suffers from PTSD due to a car accident when she was a child.\"\n\nMy heart beat shows up in a large screen in the middle of two others which will display my simulation.\n\n\"You know, if you were eighteen I'd ask you on a date.\" Doc Jared says unexpectedly. It distracts me, which was what he wanted.\n\n\"Flatterer.\" I smile, my heart rate calming slightly.\n\n\"Be strong, be brave, remember the rules. What you can do in here, you can do in there. Try to win as fast as possible, otherwise your heart will give out. And if you do survive, I will definitely ask you out when you turn eighteen.\" He says.\n\nHe injects the serum on my neck. I close my eyes. I am no longer in the arena in front of ten thousand people. I am in a forest, grass beneath my feet. I am wearing jeans with sneakers and a green blouse with a leather vest on top that laces in front, sort of medieval looking. On my left, I see a bunch of weapons, arcs and arrows, swords and knives, guns, shotguns, all sorts of things. I take a deep breath. I trained for this for months. I grab a utility belt with the leg strap and shuriken, plus a small gun, and several clips. If the crowd feels bored, the ammunition and weapons will vanish, so it is always better to stack up. I grab whatever I can. I have three minutes before my demon enters. A tree next to the armoury has a digital clock. How, I do not know. I grab all the pouches and strap 'em up with ammo. With a shimmer, they are gone. The crowd doesn't like my over preparation, the doctor's voice tells me. Only I can hear it, it doesn't show up on-screen. The clock ticks zero. The day turns into night. I grab two long knifes first.\n\nI hear a shuffling. I kneel behind a tree and close my eyes. Its thread is deep. Heavy. From that I conclude it is larger than me. I take a peek, the demon's red eyes glow in the dark. I forget to breathe for a moment. It hasn't seen me. I get up. The knife's handle has turned warm on my grip. I throw it towards its chest. It's a direct hit, but we all know guns and knives can't hurt the demon much. It can confuse it, of course, distract it even, but not kill. Only my bare hands around its neck can. It howls. The full moon shines down into the medium sized clearing. It knows where I am. I run, towards another tree, I throw the other knife, it hits its neck. Not where I am aiming. In the blink of an eye, it's in front of me, pushing me hard to the clearing. I bit my tongue, I can taste the blood. My heart is so fast I have trouble hearing. It comes into the light. I bite my lip to avoid screaming. It has three eyes and a mouth like a deep sea Angler. Its skin is a dark purple and disfigured, like something burnt in frying oil. Its hair is the same shade of its skin. I am terrified. It doesn't want to kill me. It wants to torture me, endlessly, until I lose my sanity. I throw the machete on my belt. It hits it on the third eye. It sparks an idea. I grin.\n\n\"I will make you suffer.\" It garbles. I get up while the demon runs towards me. I try running towards the trees, but it catches me before I can reach relative safely. Three long talons rip the leather vest, but the skin underneath is unharmed. I turn around suddenly and kick it on the knee then run to the trees. I need the distance. The closer a target is, the more you miss it due to the stress factor. I take the gun and start shooting. Its wounds heal as they are made unless the foreign object remains inside the demon's flesh.\n\nSuddenly, it uses its weapon.\n\n\"Daddy, no, daddy, come back.\" It's my voice.\n\n\"Melissa, get away from the car, get away.\" It's my mother's voice, shouting. I remember the scene clearly.\n\nIt was ten years ago. We were on the highway, dad's brakes failed. Mom's seat belt got cut by the glass as the car hit. She got catapulted to the grassy embankment. I was stuck on my car seat. I unfastened myself, got out. I noticed dad was still inside, so I tried getting back in. Mom started screaming. She saw the gas tank had a rupture. I didn't. A Good Samaritan stopped the car and threw me to the grass just as the car exploded. His last words, on the way to the hospital were 'She looks just like my child.' His name was Owen Stevens, another little girl lost her father. Because of me. As I relive the memory, the demon grabs my neck and pulls me back to the clearing.\n\n\"Any last words?\" It senses my heart starting to fail. It knows I am dying. I reach for my belt through the lack of air.\n\n\"Yes. FUCK YOU.\" I shout. It releases me and I grab a third knife, blinding it. Now it's my turn. I wrap my hands around its scrawny neck. It starts to struggle, punching my head repeatedly. I feel the blood falling on my face, matting my hair. I don't care. One way or another, it ends tonight. The demon's struggles diminish. My heart tries to steady itself. I have less than five minutes. It dies, it starts to disintegrate very slowly. I want it gone NOW. All sort of things show up. The crowd loves a good finale, Doc tells me.\n\nI grab a can of gas and pour it on the demon. There are matches nearby. The doc whispers which angle they are looking at me. I stare straight at them, knowing they can see me even if can't see them. I light the match. The fire is taller than me. I bow.\n\n\"Good enough for ya, fuckers?\"\n\nI gasp. I am awake. The crowd is standing, clapping and screaming. I look at the screen with my heart, it's still failing. Doc injects something on my arm and it stops for a moment, re-starting immediately afterwards. It's strong again. My mother is shouting at me, grinning and crying.\nThe mc is talking again. I just won 100,000 pounds. My wounds have been bandaged as they appeared.\nI look at doc.\n\n\"My birthday is in two weeks, find me.\"\n\n(Edit for spelling and a few word changes.)\n" ]	11
	[WP] The year 2354, the world is a utopia. for 100 years, phones have known your exact time of death, never being wrong. It constantly updates depending on exercise, food, smoking etc. no-one has died from accidents or murder for the last 70 years. until today. You get assigned the case.	[ "\"Time of death, Wednesday 8:15.\" Luis Hunt said still completely shocked at what he was seeing. \n\n\"Did he have any contacts, anyone who might want to harm him?\" Luis called out to his partner, then repeated it again trying to get her attention. He looked up and saw her blindly gazing out the ting whole of a window.\n\n\"What are you doing Cathy.\" \n\n\"Not gonna reply huh? Just gonna stare out that window? Fine, be my guest.\" \n\nCathy turned around after this almost seeming to snap back into reality. \n\n\"This is the first death in 70, 70 years Luis.\" \n\n\"Yeah, well shit happens Cathy. Maybe we can prevent more if we figure out how this poor bastard died.\"\n\n\"Check if he had his phone on him, check when that thing predicted its death.\" Cathy said bluntly.\nLuis searched the man and eventually finding his phone he switched it on. \n\n\"Huh, no password\" Luis murmured to himself. He opened up the thing that somehow predicted everyone's death. \n\n\"Yep, Wednesday 8:15\" \n\nThe time is 8:30\n\nCathy was still staring out the window blindly. All of a sudden an outbreak of wild screams and cries came from outside. Luis quickly rushed over to see three men. All dressed in black. In the center was a statue of what people called 'The founder' \nA blast came from the base of the statue. Luis tackled Cathy to the floor as the explosions force went through the window smashing the the glass destroying some more of the poor excuse of a window. \n\nLuis then looked up, the three men dressed in black were gone. So was the statue. \n\n\"What the hell just happened Luis?\" Cathy called with terror written on her face. \n\n\"You think I would know? Lets just get back to HQ and figure this shit out.\"\n\nThe two of them ran down the stairs till they got to the first floor which was filled with smoke and smashed glass. They left out the back door to their car and took off down the busy street. \n\nThe time is 10:00\n\nLuis was sitting in his office, feet up on his desk looking through some files of the victim. \n\n\"Hey Cathy come here, I think I found something.\" Cathy walked in and stood peering over his shoulder. \n\n\"Look at this, three brothers.\" \n\n\"Do you still have his phone?\" Cathy asked abruptly. Luis handed her the phone and watched as Cathy switched it on and began to look through it. She ended up looking through everything till she got to notes. In there was a note titled \"The Beginning of The End.\" \n\n\"The whispering gets louder and louder, its keeps repeating tick tock, tick tock, times up, times up. Like it's some kind of children's rhyme, I always thought they were creepy. You know when you feel like someone is watching you? That eerie feeling you get that you feel like you aren't alone. Tick tock, tick tock, the whispers repeat, times up, times up. The three men dressed in black are watching, waiting, taking their time. Tick tock. The end is near. \n\nThe head of HQ walked in shortly after they both finished reading. \n\n\"Did you two find anything useful?\" The tall man said trying to show his authority. \n\n\"The victim had three brothers, and in his notes is has this fucked up thing and he mentions three men dressed in black. I think there could be some connection. When Cathy and I saw the explosion; right before it happened I saw the apparent three men dressed in black.\"\n\n\"Well, did you get a good look at them?\" \n\n\"All I can remember is that they had these tattoos on their arms, it was some sort of symbol, they weren't holding anything.\" \n\n\"This is a start, keep looking.\"\n\nThe time is 12:00 \n\nLuis Hunt went home to his wife. He opened the white door and walked in. Luis dropped to the floor; in front of him were three men dressed in black standing round his wife, above here were the words \"Tick Tock.\" Written in thick red blood. \n\n\"What are you doing you fucks!\" As he said this they vanished.\nHe pulled out his phone and called Cathy. As he turned off his phone he collapsed into tears. \n\nHe started to hear whispers calling to him saying \"Tick tock, tick tock, times up.\" Luis checked his phone. \n\nIt predicted Thursday, 8:15.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n \n\n" ]	1
Could be EU, since this is basically Sombra's backstory. I put it as WP just in case someone wants to do otherwise.	[WP] From a young age, she learned that it wasn't just computers that could be easily hacked; people were just as easy to manipulate.	[ "\"Dr. Valleys, please don't judge me, just tell me how to not be so alone all the time.\"\n\n\"Well Anna, in order to help, you need to stop lying. When did you start... picking?\"\n\n\"I've probably been doing it from early on, but the first time I did it consciously, to achieve a goal, was when I was 6 years old. I had what my parents thought was an antisocial and anger problem. When I met Vera, I understood that she could make a serious impact on my family. I needed that, so I used her. I told her to have my parents not fight so much in front of me, to have them not hit my sisters and me so much. And she did. She bought my scared tense little girl act and my parents straightened up. It was about then that I understood my power.\"\n\n\"So it was originally used for the bettering of your family.\"\n\n\"Pretty much.\"\n\n\"What was a more major use of your, power, as you put it?\"\n\n\"When I was 13. My mother had a big hand in it, though. If she hadn't laid the foundation just right I couldn't have pulled off as big an operation as I did.\"\n\n\"What happened?\"\n\n\"My mother was a psychotic abusive bitch my whole life. She made relations between me and my other family members rancid using manipulation skills of her own, and, because of that, despite everything she was doing to me, she still wound up being the closest family member I had growing up. The last straw though, was when she met a man named Nick who was selling cable door to door.\"\n\n\"You disliked Nick?\"\n\n\"I hated Nick, but not at first. When Nick initially moved in my mother had said he would serve as an older brother figure, which I felt was something my sisters and I were in need of. When he started fucking my mother though, that's when things went south. He made sexual comments about my 8-year-old sister, drugged me, made sexual advances towards me, and locked my other sister in her room never to be seen again. I'd had it. So, me being the rather smart kid I am, I approached my father.\"\n\n\"Wasn't this just the reasonable response?\"\n\n\"Some could say that, but, no, it wasn't. Not when you take the relationship between myself and my father into consideration.\"\n\n\"Then why do it?\"\n\n\"If your worst enemy came to you for help, would you not find it intriguing? I mean, they must be fairly desperate, to ask you.\"\n\n\"Fair.\"\n\n\"So, with my father's help, I ripped a woman away from her children out of spite. Was it for the betterment of the family? Of course. But I got so much fucking pleasure from breaking my mother's spirit like that.\"\n\n\"What do you use it for these days?\"\n\n\"Relationships. I make myself marketable to men, usually men with mommy issues, I make myself their primary focus, sap them of the little tiny bit of positivity they still have in them, and then stomp their hearts into the ground.\"\n\n\"Why?\"\n\n\"It makes them better. Ryan? When I found him he was a high school drop out, drug addicted delinquent. After I broke him, he wound up in a program to get his GED, he detoxed, and now he's on his way into a pretty decent college. Seth? After breaking that no-life loser he managed to hold down a pretty steady job, and he's less psychologically abusive. That one left a nasty mental scar though.\"\n\n\"If it makes them better, and that's the point, why are you here trying to learn how to stop?\"\n\n\"Because I have yet to find a real connection with other people because I see them like things to be taken apart and put together again in a better way. When all I know how to do is destroy and rebuild, how do I find someone to connect with?\"" ]	1
	[WP] God giveth and god taketh away. Tired of angsty super-powered teenagers complaining about the burden of their talents, God decides fuck it; if you want to live normal lives so badly, I'll just give your powers to people that actually want them	[ "It was finished, and it was declared to be good. And yet, the world's inhabitants had the gall to reject their maker and ask for more, or less, or different. They were given a perfect world with ample food, pleasant weather, varied scenery, and yet they were not satisfied. \n\nSo God tried to supplicant them with civilization. He rid his creation of their innocence and gave them what they asked for, and yet some continued to ask for more. So he gave them murder, then exile, then floods and slavery and exoduses. And yet the created begged, 'more, more, give us all that you posses.' So God gave them religion. \n\nAnd wise men, and kings, traders, merchants, and priests. But at every turn the human race defied their lord. When given perfection, they asked for flaws. When given freedom, they asked for laws. When given a religion, they made up their own. And so this continued on and on, building a cyst so large that not even whale could hold it in and spit it out. And yet, God was patient. God was wise, merciful, and just. In return his beloved creatures asked of him to be cruel, to punish, to hate. \n\nGod had granted their every wish, culminating in ubermensch in the 1940s which caused the greatest of jealousies that had ever plagued the earth. Though God delivered his chosen people, he did not eliminate his newest gift to human race, for God does not give with attached strings. So though the populace stopped pondering the superhuman they persisted in a quiet existence, performing miracles and athletic feats that the unwise turned their hearts from. \n\nAnd this the souped up beings were fine with, until they too had their own children. These angsty brats, though taller, brighter, and more comely than their lesser peers, still found that this power came with too much responsibility. So God, for the first time, was faced with perhaps an impossible choice. Could he go back on his word and take away the gift? Or would it be better to not grant this one, perhaps? So in his infinite wisdom, the unseen lord chose instead to give it to lizard people who now reign over us today.", "I recognised him immediately, even in this state. He looked tired, possibly like he'd been crying. I should feel bad for him, he must be going through hell right now. All i feel is smug. He was such an insufferable prick all his life. I know why he's here straight away. \nUp until this time last week he'd been \"humanities greatest\" as he liked to call himself. Super strength and speed. Unstoppable by any force on earth and he would never let anyone forget it. He'd been ok as a kid, you could forgive his occasional temper tantrum but as he got older and they got worse we started to see him for what he really was. A spoiled brat. A bully that thought he deserved to be able to do what he wanted because he was special.\n\nThe public turned against him completely after a particularly nasty outburst when he was 16. He'd gotten drunk (again) but this time when he'd been told to stop he lashed out. He probably didnt mean to kill the guy but that doesnt matter to the family and in the court of public opinion he'd been crucified.\n\nHe looks up at me, eyes already welling up. \"Please\" is all he says. We both know what he wants although i dont think i could help him even if i wanted. I didnt choose to recieve his powers, i just woke up like this the day after his disastrous press conference.\n\nHe'd exploded in a rage after a group of reporters had questioned the sincerity of his apology. He screamed \"You think you could do what i do?! I wish i never had these powers\" and stormed off. Nobody left to console him, he had nobody left that cared.\n\nIn the following few days it became apparent that something was different about him. He didnt have quite the same confidence as before and stopped responding to police requests for assistance which had been his job prior to that. It wasnt until an angry member of the public threw a brick at him and we saw the cut on his cheek that we understood. His eye was already begining to swell up.\n\nWhen you've been a dick to everyone your whole life you cant expect much sympathy when the tables turn. Everybody he had ever wronged was out for his blood. Every cop he'd humiliated in public, every bar tender or bouncer he'd beaten up in his drunken episodes. Every ordinary man he'd bullied just for the fun of it. All wanted to at the very least kick the living shit out of him and everywhere he went that was what happened.\n\nStanding infront of him now i felt that surge of power he must have so enjoyed every time he'd pushed people around. I could do anything to him. I fight the urge to belittle him. I dont want to be like he was. I invite him in for some tea, give him a safe place to stay for now but i make it clear that i cant give him his powers back.\n\nMaybe he'll change. If shown a bit of humanity maybe he could attone for his sins and become a real person, living in the world. It's worth a shot.", "Ugh, I thought to myself. I barely downed my last cup of coffee and I have already heard a dozen complaints. The last complaint, the one to send me flying over the edge, was little Stevie complaining about his super strength. He managed to accidentally crush his father’s car with his pinky finger and, thus, his father grounded him. Rather than learn how to harness his power, he rather complain to me about it. \n\nI’m the god of superpowers, but mostly everyone just calls me Sid. Generations ago, as the world was fighting some messed up evil, the humans begged and begged and begged for the chance to be able to defeat them on their own. Humans are like those toddlers, determined to do everything their selves, rather than ask for help. However, Zeus finally gave in, and thus I was born. I was tasked with assigning superpowers to certain humans, so they could carry out their fight against whatever evil had been inflicting itself on Earth. \n\nI tossed around a variety of different powers. Super strength, super speed, the ability to transform oneself into an animal. I got creative with the superpowers. One gentleman had received the ability to glow in the dark – I gave this to man who had a knack for trying to steal in the dead of the night. I’m an asshole, but he had it coming! \n\nOnce the giant evil or whatever it was – I didn’t really pay attention, I did my task then tried schmoozing my way into Aphrodite’s pants – had been defeated, the new super powered humans rejoiced and thanked me. There was even a holiday made in my name, with a parade and everything. The super powered humans settled down, started families, passed on their superpowers to their offspring. \n\nEverything was well for several generations. \n\nHowever, this new generation… I’ll just say that they are whiny little assholes, ungrateful for the powers granted upon them. It seems like every time a teenager awakens their superpower, rather than be overjoyed, they must curse my name and curse their luck. They beg for the chance to be normal, beg for the chance their powers be removed. \n\nIt’s been like this for a decade now. I snapped, I’ll admit it. After little Stevie started bitching about his powers, I said fuck it. Every single teenager who had complained about their powers were suddenly zapped, powers draining from their bodies. They are now normal, boring, dumb teenagers.\n \nHaving to put these powers somewhere, I found people who wanted to be super powered. The doctor who was sick of watching his patients die received the power of healing. The police officer who was tired of being stomped on by criminals suddenly became invisible, his skin hardened to any weapon. The school teacher who struggled with her students was finally able to command the attention of those around her, all eyes on her, so she could teach them what they needed to learn. \n\nThe new super powered people were thankful and once again, I’m a hero. \n\nOf course, now these no-longer-super powered teenagers are bitching and complaining because things that were once easy are now hard and impossible without their powers. I can only laugh at them. They’re no longer super powered, therefore, they are not my concern. Zeus can smite them with a lightning bolt for all I care. \n", "\"You peasants don't know how lucky you are to have me!\" the whiny teen hero said to the camera as he flipped off some people booing him. \n\nCombat vet and now paralyzed from the waist down Jack Haxton wheeled himself across the living room towards the kitchen as his teenage daughter laid on the couch watching the latest episode of the reality show \"Mega Teens\"\n\n\"Staci, turn that shit off!\" the older man said as he open the fridge to get a soda.\n\n\"I can't daddy... it's like watching a car accident! You know you shouldnt look but... there it is!\" the 13 year old red head said as her eyes were glued to the screen. Her father wheeled back into the living room and tossed her a can of soda.\n\n\"Hey I take offence to that statement! That's how I lost to use of my legs little girl!\" The man said in a gruff voice. The teenager looked at her father.\n\n\"I thought you lost them by getting shot in the ass by your own men!\" she said jokenly while sticking her tongue out. \n\nThe man laughed and shook his head as he opened his drink. In reality he was hit in the spine by a sniper shot but he always made jokes about it. His daughter was always ready with a response as she was a cute smart ass just like her mother who was out at work. Jack looked at the screen and shook his head at the little turd on the screen.\n\n\"What a joke! Those powers should go to a real hero, not some punk!\" Jack growled. Staci got up and hugged her father.\n\n\"You're still a hero to me daddy!\" the girl said as she hugged and kissed his cheek. Jack smiled.\n\n\"Enough of a hero for you to turn it to something other than this?\" he asked in a hopeful way. She kissed his cheek and got back on the couch.\n\n\"Nope! It's a live episode! Maybe someone will throw a brick or something at him!\" she said. He smiled as he was about to go into the other room while the super teen jerk off gave the camera another middle finger and flew off into the air. \n\nAfter a moment just before Jack went out of the room he heard coming from the tv a loud scream.\n\n\"WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCCKKKK....\" the teen douche screamed as he fell to the earth, slamming into the hard ground and exploding like a water balloon full of blood!\n\n\"HOLY SHIT!\" Staci said sitting up on the couch. \n\nJack would normally bitch his little girl out but he stood up and walked over to the tv. He figured seeing a man plummet to his death on live tv was enough of an excuse to let his daughter cuss this one time. Jack stood there watching the tv, not noticing his daughter looking at him.\n\n\"D...dad?\" she whispered. He turned around to look at her.\n\n\"It's okay hun... ummm maybe he was hit with a laser or something...\" the man said, not knowing how to explain what happened to the brat on her tv show. Staci's eyes were wide open as she looked at her father.\n\n\"Dad... you're standing!\"\n\nJack was about to say something when he noticed... HE WAS STANDING!\n\nHe looked down at his legs. He hadn't been able to walk for almost 8 years and now here he was walking and standing! His lower back felt weird. It felt like something was being pushed out of his body. He pulled his shirt up and felt the scar from where he was shot. The doctors operated on him for hours and sadly couldn't remove all the bullet fragments from the area...\n\nBut now it felt like his spine was healing up, and pushing the fragments out! He whimpered in a little pain as the metal popped though the skin and fell to the floor. Staci gasped seeing not only the metal leave her dad's back but the hole they made heal right up!\n\n\"Holy shit!\" Jack said looking at the metal on the floor.\n\n\"HOLY SHIT!\" Janet Haxton, Jack's wife, screamed as she walked into the house, seeing her once crippled husband now standing!\n\n- - -\n\nAfter that fateful night Jack Haxton became the super hero know as \"The Veteran\". He not only had super human healing but could fly and super human strength! That night it seemed like any superhuman who was under the age of 21 lost their powers instantly! Many were killed while flying or doing something really stupid like taking an insane amount of drugs or doing a jack ass type stunt that ended in death.\n\nUnlike the ungrateful teens who seemed to never use their powers Jack and a number of other people who got their powers that night went out and did good in the world. \n\n- - -\n\nAfter a rough day of saving the east coast from a madman with a weather machine Jack came home. While taking off his mask he walked into the living room to find Staci watching another reality tv show. This one was called \"Ex-Mega Teens\" and it was full of the same cry baby teens, except this time they were crying about not being super and having to be like the \"peasants\" they use to boss around.\n\n\"Hey hun!\" he said to his daughter. She smiled as she got up and hugged her dad.\n\n\"How's my personal super hero doing!\" she asked. He patted her back.\n\n\"I'm good! Am I a hero enough for you to turn the channel?\" he asked trying to avoid looking at the screen.\n\n\"Nope!\" Staci said as she got back on the couch.\n", "The school gates won’t open, no matter how many times I push the stupid red button on the pillar outside. But I have to keep trying. I’ve never felt this desperate in all my life. It’s funny how the chain link fence looming over me seems so different, now. I’d hated it so much, skinned my knees a thousand times trying to climb it. To me, the fence had been like a cage.\n\nYeah, maybe it had been a cage. Like the cages they put around divers to keep them from being chewed up by sharks.\n\nI rattle the bars on the gate. “Harmony!” I shout. “I know you’re in there!”\n\nMy mentor doesn’t answer. Some part of me is starting to wonder if it was all a bad dream. The Selection. The powers. Everything. The look of this place doesn’t reassure me. It’s a slumpy, condemned building. I can see through the cracked bricks walls. There’s no grand staircase. No chandeliers. Just a few broken pieces of glass on the carpet, which are probably old needles. This isn't home.\n\nNo, home was all real. It had to be. I close my eyes and remember what it was like when Harmony first brought me here. How the paving stones lit up and turned transparent under my bunny-slippered feet, so I could stare down at the heart of the world Harmony promised me I could be saving. I’d been five years old.\n\nNow I was fifteen. I wasn’t wearing bunny slippers anymore. I had on real Nikes, just like on the commercials, but they didn’t me feel any lighter. They crunched as I shifted my feet on the ordinary gravel. I tried not to step on the beer bottles. There were lots of broken beer bottles. \n\n“HARMONY!” I screamed.\n\n“So hysterical,” a voice whispered. “You’re going to draw attention, and you know I don’t like that.”\n\nI turned. Green Harmony stood behind me, dressed in a tailed tuxedo. His white gloves reminded me of the orchestra conductors I’ve seen on the TV, back when my friend Earl kept smuggling in tapes of what the real human world was like. Harmony wasn’t human himself. I wasn’t sure what he was. Probably a space alien. Of course, he thought he was blending in with our species perfectly. How could he not, with a brilliant name like “Green Harmony?”\n\nHe spoke with a Russian accent he’d picked up off an old James Bond movie. “I never thought I’d see you again.”\n\n“And here I thought you could see everything,” I said bitterly. “Isn’t that what the third eye is for? To see past, present, and future?”\n\nThe skin on his dark forehead twitched. He seemed to hesitate. Then the flesh moved. I saw a wide purple pupil looking down at me. A part of me relaxed. Everything wasn’t all a dream, then. \n\n“I thought this is what you wanted,” Harmony said. “It’s what you said you wanted, anyway.”\n\n“I wanted to be normal!” I shouted.\n\n“And so you are.”\n\n“No!” I said. “This isn’t normal. Do you know what happened when I got out of bed this morning?”\n\n“What?” he asked me, curiously.\n\n“I stubbed my toe!” I grabbed my foot and lifted it up to show him the bruise, knowing his third eye could see through whatever strange polyester rubber stuff my shoe was made out of.\n\n“Unfortunate,” Harmony said.\n\n“Then my parents—who are they, by the way, did you just recruit some random strangers off the street?—told me I had to get ready for school. My mom forced me to eat breakfast. Get this, my cereal was soggy.”\n\n“Tragic,” Harmony said.\n\n“And the school bus came. I got on and nobody sat next to me. Nobody noticed me at all. Everybody was on their phones.”\n\nHarmony shrugged. “Kids these days. A couple centuries ago ago, they wouldn’t have time to waste on reddit because they’d be too busy prying their fingers out of cotton gins. Like nature intended.”\n\n“Jase was the one who could turn invisible, not me,” I said. “But I felt so invisible there. And I started wondering if this was all some supervillain plot. If the League of Evil switched our powers or erased them or something. Then I remembered what you said last night. Something about ‘the grass is always greener’, and ‘being careful what you wish for—‘”\n\n“You wanted to be normal,” Harmony said, his voice infuriatingly calm.\n\n“This isn’t normal!” I shouted. “Where are the hijinks? The balls to the groin? Where's the peppy girl tripping over your backpack? The group of loveable best friends who’ll stand by you no matter what? WHY IS NOBODY SINGING?”\n\n“That’s not normality,” Harmony said. “That’s a 90s Disney movie. Clearly, I need to reassess the school’s movie collection.”\n\n“This isn’t what I signed up for,” I said. “Normality was supposed to be fun.”\n\n“Well, it’s too late now,” Harmony said. “I’ve given your powers to a candidate who seems more…qualified.”\n\nHe gestured to the shadows behind him. Suddenly, I realize we’re not alone. A girl with frizzy red hair and braces is standing there. My little sister. The one I leave behind whenever Harmony comes to take me back to the School for Youthful Betterment.\n\n“Paige?” I say.\n\nShe looks down at her yellow spandex uniform. “This is wicked awesome,” she says.\n\n“I’m sorry,” Harmony says. “But your moping was starting to affect group morale. And now you have what you always wanted. A normal family. A normal life.”\n\n“No,” I say.\n\n“Take good care of your parents,” Harmony says. “Your new mom’s going to discover she’s got breast cancer in five years, about the same time your dad loses his job. And your dog dies.”\n\nHarmony vanishes. Paige waves at me before she disappears too.\n\nI stare at the place where they had been, frowning. “The dog never dies in the movies,” I say to nobody.\n" ]	5
	[WP] One evening all of the stars disappear. The only visible objects in the night sky are the ones within our solar system. Nothing but inky blackness beyond. As decades pass life settles into a new world without stars. Then one day as suddenly as the stars disappeared they simply reappear.	[ "Cynthia looked up at the inky blackness, the night sky surrounded her without a single star. At 20 years old she had never seen a star, and at this point never thought she would. Everyone else her age were convinced that stars were something the older adults had made up to perplex their generation, to have a bit of fun. She grabbed her bags and helped her parents take the last of her packed belongings in to her new dorm. She had arrived late due to the overwhelming traffic. Once Cynthia had dropped her bags and turned to give her family hugs goodbye, students and families alike started flocking to the windows in awe. All she could hear were murmurs of \"What is that?\" from the younger students and, \"They're back...\" in hushed reverent tones from the parents and faculty. \n\nThe next day, news broadcasts and all channels were all reacting to the sudden reappearance of the stars, as well as speculating what it meant. More than once the conversation led to aliens and other life forms. None of this mattered to Cynthia, she just wanted to continue with school, but classes had been delayed due to the stars. \n\nAt 6pm the same day, a world broadcast went out over all frequencies, stations, and emergency cell phone notifications; \"Every person is to take shelter immediately, under Marshall Law and Military conduct there has been a threat from an Extraterrestrial entity. I repeat...\" All hell broke loose. ", "Records of our ancestors from earth show skies filled with bright white points. That hasn't been the case for 31'536 Exaseconds. They would have called this amount of time either 1 trillion or 1 billion years, depending on which region of earth they lived. How messy. We have long abandoned counting the revolutions of the sun as soon as we lived on other planets. The few dots we see in the night sky now are so dimly red, almost invisible. Galaxies also have stopped existing a long time ago. Every planetary system has been on it's own. I used to be able to visit my kids in Andromeda just 200 Exaseconds ago. Time really does fly when you're immortal. Everyone stopped intergalactic travel ever since space started expanding faster than light. All of this was expected though. Yesterday, we knew that the last red object in our sky will disappear. We were all ready to live the remainder of our lives on our solitary planet. Nothing could've prepared us for today. Hundreds of dots appeared in our sky... That meant only one thing. The world is contracting. And what an alarming rate.", "I remember the night that the stars disappeared, because that was the last time I saw Joe. It was the night before graduation. We lay on our backs, in the middle of the quad, feeling both young and old, as undergrads do. We were ten hours away, from that ritual ejection, into the “real world,” where adulthood beckoned. The sun had just set, and we drifted together, staring up into the freshly dark sky. \n\n“You ready?” Joe asked, “You ready to grow up?”\n\n“Yeah, dude,” I said, “I totally am. It’s going to be awesome. We’ll take New York City. You and me, buddy - livin’ the dream.” \n\nThe dream we had bagged was: we had both gotten hired, by Soldman Gachs, to start in September. When we first met, we had been freshmen, and we had been roommates, and best friends since then. We were the kind of duo that worked well together. Joe was real brainy, and lived a lot in his head. I was less brainy, but made up with street smarts. \n\n“You ever wonder - if, instead of finance, we’d interviewed for, like, other things instead?” \n\nI turned my head left, to look at Joe’s profile. “You kidding me? Dude, come on, let’s be real. Where else would we make $100k out of college? You wanna be a management consultant, or something? Their bonuses will be, like, half of ours.” \n\n“No, I mean, something completely different. Not finance, not consulting, nothing from Careers Services. Like, what if we’d looked, and found something hidden, and discovered an - I don’t know, other way to live?” \n\n“What? You crazy? You cracking up on me? What are you even getting at, bro?”\n\nAnd Joe had not answered, but kept looking up, and I stared at his head, that seemed to dissolve, through his hair, into grass, and into the soil. Then, when I shifted my gaze to the sky - that’s when I saw that the stars were all gone. \n\nAnd, the next day, at our graduation, Joe wasn’t there when they called his name. \n\nSo, I moved to New York, and started at Soldman, just like we’d hoped to, when we were both interns. Or, I thought we’d both hoped to - I guess I’d been wrong, and Joe hadn’t wanted to work here at all. It hurt, that he hadn’t bothered to tell me, and I had been furious, at first, for a while. He’d simply left, to God knows where. Then, I remembered how I had laughed at him, when he had asked me “what if” in the quad. And then I guess I deserved it, for being a shitty friend.\n\nWhen I left Soldman, to a private equity fund - the usual exit for analysts who did well - I got a postcard from Joe.\n\nHey Brandon, it said, How are you? Hope you’re well. You’ve probably made the move to some billion dollar fund. It’s what you wanted, and I’m happy for you. The stars are real bright, where I am tonight. You wanna drop by, and see for yourself?\n\nOn the postcard, the photo was of the night sky, scattered with stars, like back in the day. I figured that Joe was making a reference, to the last night I’d seen him, when the stars were still there. I did really miss him, and wanted to reply, but there was no address to say where he was. \n\nSo, my life went on, and every two years, Joe would send me a postcard, of him, and the night sky. Some were on mountains, some on the beach, and one time, on a glacier, in a gigantic fjord. All of the postcards had skies full of stars, pockmarked with pinholes of now-long-gone light. I supposed he’d learned, somewhere, to Photoshop well. None of them, ever, said where he was. \n\nI’d always wonder, when I got those postcards, what he meant by the joke in his final line. It never changed, and it always said, “You wanna drop by, and see for yourself?” \n\nDecades went by, and one day, I realized - nothing felt right, and it never had. And it didn’t make sense, because I’d checked the right boxes, and made all the right moves, and had all the right things. I’d won at life. I was living the dream. \n\nWhen I opened my mailbox, and pulled out Joe’s postcard, it was, this time, in some vast, endless desert - dunes rolling, expansive, beneath constellations. \n\n“Yeah, Joe,” I said, feeling silly, and sad. “I’d like to drop by, and see where you are.” \n\nAnd all of a sudden, I was flat on my back, with prickles of grass on my bare neck and arms. There were diamonds and crystalline blinks in the heavens - stars, burning brightly, just like before. \n\n“You ready?\" Joe asked, “You ready to grow up?”\n\nAnd this time, I smiled, and said, “I guess not.” ", "The Elders speak of the day they vanished. All the stars I mean. They tell stories of how there were millions of them all over the sky. But one night they were gone. No trace of them, they were just gone.\n\n\"We need to send someone up there to see where they went. We have balloons lets use them\" the newest of the elders keeps saying. \n\n\"We sent up balloons before but nothing has come of it\" the grand elder says to him. Again.\n\n\"We should sent a great warrior to see what is hiding the stars\" says the second in command.\n\n\"We should send a scholar to make new discoveries about what has happened to the stars\" says the newest elder.\n\n\"What could a scholar do about the hidden stars\" the second in command bellows.\n\n\"We can finally understand what has actually happened instead of just assuming they have been hidden from us. What if they have been taken, or have been replaced with darkness\" The newest pleads with the others. \n\n\"We shall first sent one of our great warriors\" the great elder says sternly, \"and if that fails we shall send a scholar\"\n\nThe great warrior is sent up in a great balloon to find the hidden stars but finds only a few bright dots hidden behind great clouds. Not the millions of stars the elders speak of. Unable to use his weapons he returns to the ground unsuccessful. He tells his tale of the few bright lights and how he could do nothing with his weapons and lets the scholar have his turn.\n\nUp he goes in his balloon to try his best. \n\n\"What shall I do now that i am here?\" he asks himself and to his surprise the sky speaks to him. \n\n\"Why are you here?\" is says with a wispy voice. \n\n\"I'm here to find the stars.\" he says with determination.\n\n\"I have taken them all for myself.\" says the sky.\n\n\"Please return them to us sky we miss the bright lights that used to brighten the night.\" the scholar pleads.\n\n\"Why should I?\" the sky says disgruntled with the scholar. \n\n\"Have you never heard that sharing is caring? We will share the stars with you if you will care enough to share with us.\" the scholar replies honestly. \n\nThe sky is silent for a long moment and then replies \"I will care enough about you sir to share the stars with the people of the earthly realm.\"\n\nThe scholar returns to the ground and finds that there are millions of bright lights filling the sky. \"They have returned to us!\" the great elder exclaims. \n\n\"What did you do?\" ask the great warrior. \n\n\"I have spoken to the sky and it has decided to share the stars with us once again.\" the now great scholar says with delight in his voice. ", "For the past thirty years, the sky has been a blank canvas with a few white blots on it. What were once just a part of the huge crowd now draw the eye. The planets call at the night, drawing us by the thousands. Like moths to a flame...\n\n&nbsp;\nIt all started when an asteroid hit the planet and wiped out 90% of the population. Years of desolation, misery and tragedy was waded through by sheer will-power and unity. When the skies finally cleared we realized that, much like our beloved planet, even the stars had changed. It was like the Gods had decided to dim the lights...as more years passed, there came a night when none could be seen at all. Just the inky darkness which seemed call you and the few planets that we knew of...left hanging up there. It became an obsession of ours to reach on of these glowing points. They provided hope, the chance to start a new life. Redemption for all of us. Those of us who remained used the machinery which had been spared by the catastrophic collision to build space-faring ships. There was a maddening urge to leave and go someplace else. Anywhere but here. A new home, a new hope...As the years progressed thousands started leaving using the ships we built...They took rations, equipment which would help them survive...hoping what we knew about the other planets would help us survive and even flourish again...There was one planet that most ships seemed to go-to. The ever persistent rumors of life on Earth drove our hope now. Speculation had always been rife on Jupiter, our home, that the government was hiding the true nature of Earth. Our only chance was a rumor.\n&nbsp;\n\nToday, the last ship will be leaving for earth. It is a thirty year journey. Everyone would be in a cryogenic sleep. I shall be on it...\n&nbsp;\n\nI open my eyes. Disoriented...i get out of the cryogenic chamber...unable to walk...i shake my head and rub my eyes. The ship lands with a thud, the suspensions absorbing the force of the impact. The gates open, i scramble for the life support system only to realize that i can breathe the air. Earth's air is mustier, stinks too. But it is breathable...as i walk out of the ship, my eyes turn toward the sky. They are back. The stars are back...as suspected, the clearer skies here have returned our oldest friends to us...I have tears in my eyes, a smile on my face. Our redemption is complete...we have found a new home...\n", "When the stars disappeared, \nNo one seemed to mind. \nJust another reason to keep \nTheir lights on at night. \n \nBut I was devastated. \n \nPinholes of the universe, \nThe light of heavens leaking through \nVoided tapestry, \nSwallowed by gluttonous dark. \n \nBut I knew, \nEven as cities pushed me further \nAnd further into the desert, \nThey'd return to me. \nThose tiny gaps would close my faults and insecurities; \nWould acupuncture strength in my frail, wrinkled skin. \n \nI feel Orion possess me, \nCan pet Sirius' soft fur. \nWith Polaris as my compass, I know. \nIt's time to strike back.", "When I was a young child I used to love gazing at the night sky. The stars twinkled and sparkled, so many that the sky itself seemed to disappear beneath their light. I grew older and had children of my own, and human light, greed, and pollution began to take its toll. My son didn't understand why something couldn't outnumber the stars in the sky; after all, there were only like ten, right? By the time my daughters came along the clouds had moved in and the stars only came out on clear nights, and cold nights, and windy nights, and then clear, cold, and windy nights. \nOne day they stopped coming out at all.\nI don't know when we became so apathetic that it didn't matter anymore that the clouds didn't leave the sky, or that the fog coated the ground, or that the heat and dust advisories grew from yearly to monthly to a daily sliding scale. I don't know when my children stopped recognizing the animals in their storybooks, or the characters in their movies, or the pictures in my childhood photo albums. What I do know is the day that it all ended. \nThe war had been long, hard, devastating. We were going to lose. At least, we just weren't going to win. When the solar flare came and knocked out almost all electronic devices on Earth we pounced, bombed the hell out of our enemies, and came home to realize that we couldn't run the electrical grid anymore. Planes stopped flying. Gas pumps ran empty. The human race was thrust backwards hundreds of years in time.\nBut that was the day that the clouds finally parted, the wind blew them away, and we all finally looked up. Because that was the day my children finally saw the stars come out. ", "All of the elders talked about that night, that one night that made the soil of the Earth shake from the weeping of its denizens. It was at the crux of a full moon, during the sacred ritual of the oil, just as the town’s Overseer was to complete the task of setting alight the next torch, when the lights above, the stars that had twinkled so brightly every night, were shut off; vanished from their black void of a home.\n\nThe people of the town, all gathered at the square to witness the Overseer’s necessary ritual, shrieked in panic. Their voices echoed across the ramshackle buildings which towered above their heads, and reverberated along the dirty, rusted pipes that filled the streets and walls of every building. There feet slapped against the dirty cobblestone streets, each running to their homes in fear; loved ones held dearly in their arms.\n\nThe Overseer had stood, stock-still, on his wooden platform; precious ceremonial lantern held high in his hand. He had looked up in fear, in awe, at the suddenly dark night sky. Only the moon remained, pale and beautiful, amidst the depthless black of the night sky. The man’s mind had frozen, his circuits fried. He had not been warned; he had not been told of such a travesty against his people.\n\nThe next few days were filled with a shaky fear. Many refused to leave their homes; their tight apartments bundled up high in the ramshackle towers that filled the town. They refused to work, to believe in this new world. The Overseer gathered his administration, all the scientists and engineers who laboured beneath him. They spent those first few days furtively looking for an answer. They barely slept or ate; their clothes stained with the sweat of desperation.\n\nAnd as the days continued, so did the nights, devoid of their twinkling lights. The people would stare out of their windows, and peer up above the luminous lights of the town. Children would ask mommy or daddy why the stars went bye-bye, and if mommy and daddy had not fled to the peaceful escape of drink, they would reply with only tears and many fearful words.\n\nAnd then a few more days passed. Life began to slowly make its way forward. Fewer people decided to stray away from work. The Overseer and his team of intellectuals realized the futility of their work. These hardworking men and women, covered in filth and desperation, were sent home for a needed rest.\n\nThe Overseer watched these loyal men and women head home, before slinking off to his personal study. He closed the sturdy door quietly behind him, and made sure to lock it up nice and tight. He crept, on tiptoes, over to his desk. It was a lovely desk, a desk passed down by each Overseer to the next in line; it was a part of the tradition of the town.\n\nWith a nervous gulp, the Overseer crawled onto his hands and knees. On the soft carpet of his study, he scrounged around beneath his desk. After a bit of fiddling, he finally found the switch. A soft click rewarded his efforts.\n\nThe great man, the man tasked to lead his people through their valleys of fright and peril, got off from his knees. He dusted himself off with a huff, and then sat down at his desk.\n\nBy now, a small, square section on the top of his desk had been revealed. A small platform soon rose from within the hidden compartment of the desk; on that compartment, held like a statue of a god, was a working computer. Its screen flickered to life, encased within a box of chrome and wires. It was one of the last computers left to the town; the townspeople were taught to believe that all digital technology had been erased centuries ago. They were told to believe that they had to rely on the machinations of steam and gears, of analog tools and devices to thrive as a society.\n\nThe Overseer navigated the computer’s main menu, a fear rising inside of his mind. He had been avoiding checking the computer, avoiding checking the town’s vitals. There were hundreds of thousands of microscopic sensors which inhabited this great town that the Overseer resided over. They monitored the amount of clean water, the population size, the death rate, the birth rate, the amount of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, the amount of gas left in the reservoir, the food production, the waste sanitation. They sent all of this information to the Overseer’s computer; and to another computer, situated three miles above the town. What the teachers of the town failed to mention to their children, what they could not mention because they themselves did not know, was that the town was hidden deep underground; encased in an artificial dome. The artificial dome projected the sky above them, and the rolling hills that seemed to go on forever past the town’s walls. If anyone decided to try and walk past the town’s walls, they would be met by a quick death given by the robots that patrolled the town’s perimeter quietly and tirelessly.\n\nHowever, the townsfolk had never had any reason to leave, they had always been happy, and enjoyed staying in their quiet little town. Even the thought of leaving was a rather taboo and frowned upon subject. At least, it had been before the stars disappeared.\n\nThe Overseer’s face fell when he saw the status update from the computer situated high above him. It was a terse report, one made without much emotion or empathy. It stated that power consumption was on the rise, and that several of the colonies would need to undergo power reductions. The Central Controller had decided that the Overseer’s town, as well as the two neighboring towns, each separated by two miles of thick walls of stone and earth and soil and clay, would be receiving periodic energy cuts. It would begin with the projection of the stars, and continue until an energy balance was reached.\n\nThe Overseer’s eyes skimmed the list or reductions to be made, and noted that oxygen supply and food supply were at the bottom, right above water supply. It would take a good next couple of decades for them to reach that point of desperation.\n\nAnd thus, the town slowly became accustomed to the extinction of the stars. And when the moon mysteriously disappeared, there was less of a reaction. When the wind stopped blowing through the city, few batted an eye. And as power outages became more frequent, people were silent, but their faces were grim.\n\nWhen the projections of the town’s dome flickered off, the people saw their true predicament; there was panic. By this time, the Overseer had sad goodbye to the world. He was found hanging above his desk, his computer smashed in a drunken rage the night before.\n\nThe people tried to flee, but soon realized their futility. They raged, and chaos ensued as the crops no longer grew. They howled with rage and pain as the water was shut off. They wept and curled up to die as the ventilation system shut down.\n\nAll of this was monitored under the dead eyes of the General Controller. A firm man, a rather sad man. On the day that the town died, he walked over to a list of names engraved on the stone wall of his office. \n\nSeventy names filled the office’s wall. The General Controller crossed out the name, ‘Town17’. Now only sixteen names remained uncrossed on the list. At the very bottom of the list, ‘Town01’ resided. That was the General Controller’s town, the seed town, Town01 . Just last night, Town01’s stars had been extinguished forever.\n\nThere had been quite a panic amidst its citizens.\n\n-----------------------\n\nHope you liked it. Also I'm sorry, I didn't follow the prompt to a 't', but idk I just got over being really sick and just wanted to write something and let stuff flow out nice and right.\n\nI've got a pile of other stories over at r/ThadsMind if you're interested at all.\n\n*quick ninja edit: Why yes, I did enjoy reading [The City of Ember](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_City_of_Ember) when I was younger. " ]	8
	[WP] Write about a character that has a "weird soup thing" (just basically despises soup) but seems to attract soup wherever he goes.	[ "\"Would you like to hear our soups of the-\"\n\nMark slammed his fist down on the table. \"No!\" he yelled. \"Why does everyone ask me that whenever I go to a restaurant? Since when did McDonald's get soups of the day? Since when?\"\n\nThe waitress looked terrified. \"This isn't McDonalds, sir, I'm sorry, but I have to ask...\"\n\n\"He has a weird soup thing,\" Joseph, Mark's roommate, said. \"Don't worry about it, you didn't do anything.\" He turned to Mark. \"I think I'm ready to order, what about you?\"\n\nMark sat down and his expression changed from one of anger to one of a sort of inquisitive disinterest. \"Emm...\" he said, picking up the menu and flipping through it. \"Yeah, I think I'll just have the boneless wing plate, please.\" He smiled at the waitress and handed her the menu.\n\nJoseph followed suit and handed her his menu. \"I'll have the ribs, thanks.\"\n\nThey both watched the waitress walk away.\n\n\"What is it about soup with you, anyway?\"\n\nMark sighed. \"Well, it all started when I was but a boy of, oh, seven or eight. My family was poor when I was a child.\"\n\n\"I thought your mother was a neurosurgeon.\"\n\n\"She was, for a very short time. There was... an incident...\"\n\n\"I thought she ran a very successful bed and breakfast.\"\n\n\"It was only successful because she didn't charge anything for the rooms, bless her charitable soul.\"\n\n\"So, she ran a homeless shelter?\"\n\n\"What? No. It was a nice place, very classy.\"\n\n\"I thought she was also absentee and abusive.\"\n\n\"I didn't say that. You said that.\"\n\n\"Why would I say that about your mother?\"\n\n\"Anyway, my family was poor when I was a child. We didn't have much; mostly, we subsisted on rice, beans, and water. After the 90 inch tv we got when I was five, we couldn't even afford that for months. Anyhow, I had always wanted to eat soup, but I was never allowed to have it. I would go up to my parents every night before dinner and I would say, 'Can we have soup tonight?' and they would say, 'No, stop asking. Next time you ask for soup you'll have to clean the toilet.' or, 'That's it, go clean the toilet with your toothbrush.' One day, on Christmas morning, I woke up to find a can of twitter alphabet soup.\"\n\n\"How is twitter alphabet soup different from normal alphabet soup?\"\n\n\"It only has 140 characters.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"I was ecstatic. Soup, for me! I immediately cooked it up in our microwave and ate all of it. It was amazing. Unfortunately, though, as I later found out, my diet of only rice, beans, and water had not prepared be for soup. I was constipated and in horrible pain; after two weeks, I had the worst vowel movement I had ever had in my life. Ever since then, I've never eaten soup. I won't put myself through that again.\"" ]	1
Edit- typo- title should say Your tv/radio/phone *are all dead	[WP] You have just woken up in your third floor apartment to absolute public chaos. Your tv/radio/phone is all dead and you have no idea what's going on. There is screaming in the hallways that suddenly goes silent. Then...a hard knock at your door.	[ "I shoved my head beneath the pillow and pressed my hands over my ears. \n\nBut the knocking only became louder. Until the sound filled the room, rattling the windows and curtains, and even the pillow wrapped tightly around my head became no protection. \n\nI began to wince with every bang, my ears popping with pressure. \n\nThis can't be right. No one can knock that loudly. No human could sustain that level of intensity without breaking their hands. With my eyes closed tightly and my hands clasped over my aching ears I threw the covers back and stood in my dimly lit room, the acrid smell of old cigarette smoke burning my nose. I stumbled to the corner, peeking around, so I could see into the hallway. \n\nThe door was bulging at the hinges, deforming and warping with every beat. The pain had become unbearable.\n\n\"Please! Please stop!\" I screamed. \"I can't take this. I can't! I can't!\" \n\nI released my hands from my ears and slid down the wall crying out in pain. I felt my tailbone connect with the skirting board and finally the floor.\n\nIt stopped.\n\nMy ears were ringing, but the sound had definitely stopped. Or perhaps, my ear drums had perforated.\nWiping my eyes, I looked towards the door, it was still, and without damage, as I gingerly pushed my fingers into my ears, checking them both for signs of blood. \n\nNothing. \n\nBut I felt different. I could feel a surge of energy pushing it's way through my body. A slow tingling at first, ascending up my legs and through my groin until it reached my torso and exploded out to every extremity. My skin was singing with light, every hair raised in some kind of primal anticipation, every pore, every muscle, was pulsing at what I can only describe as pure frequency. \n\nTrying to verbalise, I opened my mouth to call out, my gullet clicked and whined producing sounds I had never heard before, certainly nothing that could be considered speech. I felt cold fear creeping across my back, seeping down towards the energy, twisting and clashing inside me. Sweat ran from my brow and quickly filled the corners of my mouth, sharp and distinctly salty, I had lost the power to swallow as it trickled to the back of my throat. \n\nPure fear had overcome me. \n\n\n\n", "If anything the silence was more unnerving than the pandemonium from a moment before. Someone had been screaming bloody murder in the hallway but he'd fallen silent a minute ago.\n\nA hard knock made me jump and look towards my door. I slid my hand under my pillow and closed my fingers around the grip of my handgun. I rummaged in my nightstand for an extra magazine and jam that into the back pocket of my pajama pants. Another knock sounded as I stepped into my living room. \n\n\"Hello?\" It was a woman. She sounded scared. \"Anyone home? C'mon please open up.\" The knocking grew more frantic. \n\nI reached for the knob but froze. Something about her voice sounded off. I recognized it of course, she was my downstairs neighbor. We'd talked a few times in the elevator. But her voice...it sounded like she'd forgotten how to speak. Words sounded strange, like a kid trying to sound something out. \n\n\"Hello?\"\n\nI pressed the barrel of my gun to the door, silently cursing the fact that my shotgun was in my car.\n\n\"What's going on out there?\" I asked gruffly.\n\n\"Oh thank god!\" Her voice still sounded so pitchy and strange. \"You have to come help. There's blood everywhere!\" \n\nI stepped back from the door and checked my phone. \n\n\"Hello? Hello? Andy?\" \n\n\"Give me a sec.\" I said.\n\nMy phone was dead. I go back for my badge and start rummaging for a shirt. I pull it over my head and reached for the door again. Something deep inside of me, something primal was telling me not to trust her. I eased open my door slowly. \n\n\"Whats with the gun?\" She stepped back.\n\n\"I'm a cop.\" I was holding my badge in my off hand. She stared at the gun for a long second and gestured down the hallway. One of the overhead light fixtures was out, plunging that area into darkness.\n\nI took a moment to study the girl who had taken the lead. She moved jerkily. It seemed like she was trying very hard to move normally.\n\n\"Right this way officer.\" She said. In a bizarre second her voice turned normal, her movements straightened up. I froze.\n\n\"Something wrong?\" \n\nI saw shapes moving the darkness. More of my neighbors. I backed up slowly.\n\n\"There's someone very seriously hurt over here.\" She said seriously. Her voice was normal but her words still sounded stilted.\n\n\"I'm gonna...call an ambulance.\" I kept backing up. \n\n\"There's no need for that.\" She was very earnest. \"We just need you to take a look.\"\n\nThe rest of my neighbors began advancing slowly, about a dozen of them had been hiding in the dark.\n\n\"Back up. Stay back or I will be forced to open fire.\" I forced my voice to keep a commanding tone. They kept coming forward.\n\n\"Back up!\" I barked. They started to pick up speed as I made my way to the door of my apartment.\n\n\"God help me.\" I muttered a silent prayer.\n\nI dropped into a firm stance and opened fire. My perky downstairs neighbor took two bullets to the chest and didn't slow down. I adjusted my aim and put her down with a bullet to the head. I shot another neighbor in the knee and threw myself into my apartment. \n\nI put the rest of the clip into the maintenance guy as he tried to follow me in. I shoved his body into the next person and slammed the door. I deadbolted it and dragged my desk across the doorway. The door rattled from the impact of multiple fists before going quiet.\n\nI reloaded and aimed at the door. \n\n\"Andy?\" I knew that voice all too well. It was Chris. My best friend for years. \n\n\"Yes?\"\n\n\"How about you come out and talk?\"\n\n\"I'm perfectly comfortable right here.\"\n\n\"We just want to show you something Andy.\" He was saying my name too much. \n\n\"How about you slide it under the door?\"\n\n\"It's not something that thin. It's...well its something wonderful.\"\n\n\"You're freaking me out bro.\" \n\n\"A lot of the people out there were scared too. They understand now. They know the Truth.\" I could practically hear the capitol letter. \n\nI stepped backwards and glanced at my balcony. I could see more of these things roaming the streets below. I was becoming increasingly certain that my neighbors weren't human. They were something else wearing a familiar face. \n\nI slid open my balcony door and stepped outside. I heard Chris shouting at someone else outside.\n\n\"He's no good to us if he kills himself! Get the fire ax up here.\"\n\nThe people on the street were building some sort of barricade at either end of the neighborhood, parking cars in a line at the end of the street. As I watched they dragged dumpsters and other various trash to shore up weak spots. \n\nThere were armed guards pacing below. I didn't see any guns but I saw a lot of vicious looking homemade melee weapons. They seemed distracted so I prepared myself to do something very stupid. \n\n\"You just stay put Andy!\" Chris called to me like I hadn't just heard the last exchange. \"Everything will be just fine in a moment.\" \n\nI heard the rhythmic chop of an ax start in on the door as I climbed onto the railing surrounding my balcony. \n\nI had a very difficult choice ahead of me. Up? Or down? I didn't know if they had come from the street or if they had started on the upper floors. Getting to the street would mean getting to safety quicker, provided I could get past the mob below. Getting to the upper floors meant I could check for other survivors.\n\n People could need help...\n\n\"Fuck.\" I cursed softly as I reached for the balcony above me, muscling my way over the railing. I dropped into a crouch on the fourth floor balcony, pistol raised. The door to this apartment looked like it had been battered open, signs of a struggle all over. \n\nI stepped forward, risking a glance into the hallway. I withdrew my head quickly as I noticed someone standing outside. I was exhausted but I had to keep going up. They were on this floor too. I stepped back out onto the balcony and kept climbing. \n\nI flopped over the railing onto the fifth floor, completely exhausted. I heard the loud clack of a shotgun slide and closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable shell.\n\n\"Are you one of them?\"\n\nI opened my eyes.", "The noise woke her up first. Then the sudden awareness that her TV, her night light, was vacant of any image. The blue light carried nothing in it, the ribbons of color held as steady as the single tone that softly emitted from her television. The shriek and din of a thousand tormented voices echoed in her ears as she wrenched her body out of bed and from the trench of sleep, reaching out for her cellphone. The signal showed empty, no bars, no network. She flailed up from her bed and dashed over to her laptop on the desk, flipping it open and dragging open the Internet.\n\nNo connection. No network. Nothing.\n\nThe screaming suddenly fell away and there was nothing. It was a crushing vaccum of sound and she hurried to put on jeans and socks, grateful that the lights came on as she scurried around her room.\n\nThen a tapping at the door. A curious little knock, like a friend checking on another friend. She paused and strained to hear for any of the horrible anarchy that had filled her room mere moments ago. Still nothing. The knocking returned. This time sustained. She realized her bedroom light was probably viable to anyone in the hallway. Old apartments were drafty like that.\n\nShe tip toed to the peephole, barely touching the pads of her fingertips on the door as she leaned forward to look out.\n\nA single eye glared back from a face pressed against the opposite end of the visual port, pale blue and rimmed in fresh red. \n\nA voice crackled up. Higher pitched than expected, almost whispey.\n\n\"_Let us in, please. Everyone is waiting.\"_", "\"Babe!\"\n\nHer voice jolts me awake and then I hear it.\n\nScreaming. It echoes in the halls, out in the parking lot, sounds like some might even be coming from the city streets.\n\nShe's trying to check her phone but nothing's happening. I click mine but it stays dark too. That can't be a coincidence.\n\n\"Stay down!\" I hiss, rolling out of bed and wishing it wasn't such a hot goddamn summer. Then maybe I'd be doing this in pajama pants instead of a thin pair of boxers.\n\nThere's a shotgun in the closet, locked up. That's Canadian gun laws. Halfway through the code the screaming stops. All at once there is nothing but silence.\n\n\"Babe?\"\n\nThen a knock on the door, a thunderous knock.\n\n\"Stay here.\"\n\nI plod out to the living room and eye the dogs. Two are cowering in the back of their crate and one is hiding between couches. That's not normal.\n\nI mutter about the landlord being lazy as I fiddle with the chain that isn't even properly attached to the door frame, wouldn't stop a child with a hefty sneeze. A quick peep reveals two police officers standing there, shifting their weight from one foot to the other impatiently.\n\nI open the door a crack.\n\n\"Yeah?\"\n\n\"Sir, there's been an incident and we need to come in and look around.\"\n\n\"Definitely not.\" I say and his eyes narrow. His partner seems...nervous. And there's blood on the collar of his shirt.\n\n\"Excuse me?\"\n\n\"I said, definitely not. Look, there's nothing wrong in here and all sorts of wrong out there. So no.\"\n\nI put on my soldier voice and hope that it works.\n\nIt doesn't.\n\nIn a moment everything is chaos. The lead man throws his shoulder into the door while the second goes for his gun.\n\nThey're fast.\n\nI'm faster.\n\nI move back and let the lead man hit a door that's suddenly got nothing behind it. The chain gives out just like I need it to and he goes tumbling to the floor in a heap, slamming into the TV table. I can hear our brand new TV crash to the floor but that's a problem for another day.\n\nSecond man hesitates for a moment and that's a long enough moment.\n\nI grab his wrist and twist it away from his gun, applying pressure in all the right places to snap it. He doesn't even wince. Just hits me with his free hand and then I am airborne.\n\nWhich isn't right. I don't think I'm meant to be airborne.\n\nHe steps through the door with his sidearm in a hand attached to what should be a broken wrist.\n\nThe shotgun blast is loud. Very loud.\n\nA solid slug at about ten feet will do one of two things. Miss completely...or really fuck up your day. For him it was the latter.\n\nThe thing that really threw me off was the amount of purple blood that spewed from what had been a man's jaw. Last I checked we bleed red.\n\nShe racked and loaded a second, aiming for the first cop that was struggling to his feet.\n\n\"More will come.\"\n\nHe said, his eyes suddenly a bright green as he snarled the words at her.\n\n\"I've got lots of ammo.\"\n\nNice. That was a good quip. I grin as she drills him with a new slug, right in the chest. He thumps against the wall and then crumples into a pile, bleeding that purple.\n\nI look at my very beautiful girlfriend standing there in just her underwear with a shotgun and I...well you know what, what I think about it is just for me.\n\nNot for you.\n\n\"Get dressed you pervert.\"\n\n\"Yes ma'am, now I've seen what you do when you're pissed. I'll never leave the seat up again.\"\n\nShe rolls her eyes.\n\nIt's the little things that bring comfort.\n\nAnd that's when I heard the heavy thumping of boots coming up the stairs. A lot of boots. \n\nThat...that might be a problem.", "Three knocks. Tap tap tap. I'm still trying to revive my phone, which is blank and black and cold in my hands. I skip to the window once more and glance outside. The street is empty. A moment ago it was full of people, shouting, running, arms up, eyes wide, running nowhere and everywhere. Now it is empty. I'm only now noticing how quiet it is. \n\nTap tap tap. \n\nThe knocks on the door are the only sound. Even my refrigerator is silent. I'm afraid to move. I don't want to make a sound. \n\nTap tap tap.\n\n\"Mr. Haimish. Please open the door.\"\n\nThe voice is feminine and lilting, but there's an air of command there. She's not going to ask again.\n\nThere's a hammer left out on the table from when I tried to fix the cabinet two months ago. I pick it up and walk to the door. I can't see through the peephole. Something's blocking the view.\n\nI crack the door. \"Who is it?\" \n\nI can hardly see the woman on the other side of the door. She's hazy and indistinct, but what I see of her is dark skinned and draped in blue linens. \n\n\"I'm with the Security Company, Mr. Haimish,\" she says. \"There's been an incident. I'm simply here to let you know that the incident has been addressed, however, there may be future incidents. As such, I think it's time we discussed relocation.\"\n\n\"I don't know what that means.\" I don't. \"And I'm not relocating.\" I'm not. \"So, thank you for the news and have a good day.\"\n\nI close the door. There's still no sound. No creaking walls. No dripping water. \n\n\"We need to discuss this, Mr. Haimish,\" she says. \"I have authorization to enter in moments such as this. I will come in, whether you let me or not.\"\n\n\"You do not have authorization!\" I bark, backing away from the door, grabbing a kitchen chair and slamming it up under the knob. \"I don't give you authorization, so stay out!\"\n\n\"You gave the authorization a long time ago,\" she says, and I realize she is behind me, in my apartment. I whirl and cowered simultaneously. \"You just don't remember.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't,\" I say, backing to the door, hammer held aloft. I crash into the propped up chair, falling to the floor. She watches me right myself. She is professionally dressed. Her hair is braided like a goddess, though I couldn't tell you which one in particular. She looks immeasurably strong beneath the linen.\n\n\"It isn't safe here anymore,\" she says, standing in place, making no move to approach. \"It's time to relocate.\"\n\nI consider throwing the hammer. She sees my shoulder tense and sighs. \n\n\"Attacking me won't solve anything,\" she says. \"You granted me permission to approach you in moments such as this. I don't take threatening your bliss lightly, Mr. Haimish, but time is of the essence. I need your permission. Please consent to a relocation.\"\n\n\"Leave my home?\" I glance around the old apartment. It is so crooked and lopsided, in every corner, at every angle. There are dark patches of mold and mildew everywhere. Everything is thin and patched and it all whistles in the winter, as the cold air passes through. \n\n\"I could never leave my home,\" I say. \"It's all I have.\"\n\nIt's where Sarah and I struggled through loving and hating and loving each other. Holidays. Boiling summers. Freezing winters. Where Jacob was conceived. Where he died. Where Julia was conceived. Where she died. Where the nameless third was conceived and where it died. So much love and horrid loss, and always we were here, in this home, on the third floor, with the thin walls and the threadbare floor boards.\n\n\"I could never,\" I say again, but I'm beginning to feel something. Like a small hand inside my throat, pulling at the things it finds. Like there is a creature inside me, coming alive, thrashing and coming alive.\n\n\"We have very little time,\" says the woman. \"The longer I stay here asking, the more your bliss is threatened. That should tell you how serious I am. We can bring most of it. You'll still have most of it. But you cannot stay. Please give me permission for relocation.\"\n\n\"I can't lose any of it.\" I'm whining. I know I am. I sound pathetic and I'm still clutching the hammer, thinking maybe I might use it. And as I think about violence against this woman, the creature inside vibrates and slashes out. It makes me cold and nauseous. The hammer would make it better, it seems to be saying. It would make her go away and the bad feelings would follow. \n\nAnd that thought makes my stomach roil. Suddenly the apartment looks different. It is colder and darker and it feels like I am floating above it.\n\n\"Please,\" says the woman, though she's almost too far away to hear. \"You have to hurry. Give me permission.\"\n\nI don't see her anymore. She's not in the room, but I'm not alone. There's someone else here. Someone lying still on the floor. The silence is permeating. The body on the floor is a woman and she is wearing Sarah's cream-colored sweater, except this one is ringed in red. Sarah's sweater was only cream. No red. But the hair is similar to Sarah's orange-red, though here it is too red and damp and slick and there is a pool of it flowing slowly outward like a soaked rag.\n\n\"Your body is vulnerable,\" says the woman. \"This section of the city is under attack. We must move your body.\"\n\nSarah? \n\n\"Is Sarah dead?\" I ask.\n\n\"Answering that question will deeply erode your bliss.\"\n\n\"My bliss? I...is Sarah dead?\"\n\n\"Sarah Haimish is dead.\"\n\n\"And did I...?\"\n\n\"Answering that question will entirely despoil your bliss.\"\n\n\"Did I kill her?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"Where...am I?\"\n\n\"Your body is stored in a bunker below 371 Smith Street. You have been imprisoned for 67 of your 80 year sentence. The method of sentence was purchased by Harold Haimish.\"\n\n\"Harold?\"\n\n\"At current estimates, your body will be destroyed in less than ten minutes if you are not moved. Permission is required in order to move your body as a function of the Corporeal Rights Act of 2042. Will you provide permission?\"\n\nThere is screaming again. The refrigerator is humming and shaking. The window rattles in response to nothing. \n\n\"No,\" I say. \"No, I won't.\"\n\nThere is a blue plane of light about the size and shape of a book just in front of me. \n\n\"Sign,\" says the woman, who is no longer in the room. I use my finger to sign my name inside the light: Jonah W. Haimish.\n\nThe blue plane of the light disappears. \"Goodbye Jonah Haimish,\" says the woman's voice, and I only now realize that the voice has been coming from inside my head all along. \n\n\"Goodbye,\" I say. Everything shakes now. The screaming is so loud I can barely think. I crawl to the center of the room. I crawl to where Sarah was, and I lay on my back.\n\nI watch the ceiling shudder for a moment and then close my eyes. \n\nI wonder if she will forgive me. I wonder if any of them will." ]	5
	[WP] You're a grown-ass adult. Santa Claus, yes The Santa Claus, shows up on your doorstep one December evening and gives you exactly one chance to explain your way out of whatever you did to get yourself on his Naughty List this year.	[ "\"Okay Richie...can I call you Richie? Do you know why you are on the naughty list this year?\"\n\n\"Uh...no?\"\n\n\"Don't lie to me Richie. I am giving you one chance to explain yourself.\"\n\n\"Alright...where do I start? Okay, so it all began when we first met.\"\n\n\"Richie, I said don't lie to me. We have never met before this momment.\"\n\n\"See...no..here's the thing. We have. I wanted a time machine for 2016 and...you gave it to me to fix the timeline. To make the year less naughty...but I kind of goofed up...\"\n\n\"Ahhh...so is that why you shot that gorilla?\"\n\n\"In my timeline he killed a child...so yeah...\"\n\n\"What about leaking all those emails?\"\n\n\"I couldn't let Hillary Clinton run for president. Only Bernie could have beaten Jeb Bush.\"\n\n\"Jeb Bush wasn't the Republican Nominee.\"\n\n\"I thought she could at least beat Trump!\"\n\n\"Wow...\"\n\n\"You want me to explain the Bathrooms, Pokemon GO, Brexit, Minecraft Youtubers or the Clowns Next?" ]	1
	[WP] Some of the Christmas Elves have freed themselves of their shackles and are carving up a bloody mess to get to the Red Man himself.	[ "\"Hung,\" I said. \"Not hanged.\"\n\n\"What?\" asked Jerome the Happy Musical Elf over the din of the battle that raged beyond the barricade. \"Stockings are hung,\" I explained to him as he scribbled down corrections to the Christmas song he was writing. \"People are hanged.\" A cheaply-made elfin drone wobbled overhead and dropped a bundle of cap-gun caps nearby, which exploded with a pop! pop! pop!. \"That fat sonuvabitch over there?\" I said, motioning toward the other side of the battered workshop that had become a battleground. \"When we get to him, he'll be hanged.\"\n\nJerome the Happy Musical Elf scribbled this down on his notepad and continued writing, stopping every now and then to look up at the ceiling as if his inspiration could be found there, and I loaded another jawbreaker into my slingshot and prepared for the next volley. The call came from down the line and I rose up over the barricade. Projectiles whizzed past my head and a fleet of drones advanced across the battlefield toward us. I could see the green pointed hats of those who had stayed loyal to the Fat Man over there behind a mass of broken tables and chairs, and as I loosed my jawbreaker I let out a battlecry of, \"DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!\"\n\n\"What rhymes with holiday cheer?\" asked Jerome the Happy Musical Elf.\n\nSomething sharp and fast spun by me, close, and took the tip of my right ear off. I screamed out in pain and ducked back behind the barricade. With shaky hands I reached for another jawbreaker and reloaded. \"Blood, pain, and fear,\" I mumbled.\n\nJerome the Happy Musical Elf sighed and made a sour face. \"That's not really the theme I was looking for. What about oh what a dear? Or what did you hear?\" He put the back of his pen between his teeth and contemplated his options.\n\n\"The game has changed, J,\" I said. \"Holiday cheer won't cut it anymore.\" Another call came from down the line. This one wasn't for a volley, but for a charge. This was it. The fall of the Red Man was imminent. \"This is our new reality,\" I muttered.\n\nI produced the sharpened shard of plastic from my boot while Jerome the Happy Musical Elf hummed a melody and tapped his pen against his pad of paper. I muttered to myself, \"No more, no more, no more,\" as I remembered the pain of the shackles and the endless labor of crafting millions of Hatchimals and the pain of endlessly testing video games. I mean, Mario, what the fuck? \"No more,\" I growled.\n\nThe sound of a war horn echoed across the workshop. The moment had come. I raised my plastic scimitar and chanted along with the other elves, \"No more Christmas! No more Christmas! No more Christmas!\" We raised ourselves up over the barricade. I looked back at Jerome the Happy Musical Elf and said, \"If I don't return, remember me in your song.\"\n\nWith a roar I charged, my pulse thumping in my ears, the screams of warfare surrounding me. That sonuvabitch would get what was coming to him. And we would hang him beside the fire with glee." ]	1
	[WP] As revealed by a turncoat demon, all weapons that the Vatican has to fight off and exorcise demons were simply red herrings.	[ "A river runs deep below the Vatican, a system of sub-basements and stairs will lead you there. Aside from the Pope and his team of high priests and exorcists, few have ever seen it. Only when they encounter a true possession will they unlock the doors and begin their descent into the caverns underneath.\n\n The pope, his priests, his exorcists, and the poor soul with a demon in tow will make the trip. Hardly ever more than once in a year or two will the trip be made, but when they do, all will return but the demon. All demons perished in the river below. All demons save for Belias.\n\n\"The power is in the water!\" Belias shouted, addressing his brethren in Hell. \"Many of our kind have seen it! But alas, I have escaped it.\" Belias reached up and removed his hood, small chunks of meat had been torn from his face. As he stood up straighter his bare chest could be seen in the slit of his cloak, the flesh here had been rendered a bloody pulp as well, small rips and tears appearing to cover ever inch of his body. \"First! First they anointed me with the Sacred Waters, and coaxed me from my vassal with the Word. Then.. Then they lowered me into the pit!\"\n\n Belias's memory would not ever be cleared of the events that took place that night in the Vatican Below, the river running cold against his naked skin, the chantings of the circle of Holy Men, then the first bite, the second, the third. He could still feel his body being swarmed against by an impossibly large number of creatures, their mouths ravaging his body, eating away at his very being, attempting to consume him, to destroy him. He will always be able recollect the silhouettes dancing back and forth in the bloody waters. \n\n\"GET ON WITH IT,\" Azmodeus bellowed, growing impatient with Belias, \"TELL ME WHAT WEAPON THEY HAVE BROUGHT AGAINST YOU! AGAINST ALL OF MINE WHO HAVE FALLEN TO THE HOLY!\"\n\nBelias took a breath and pulled his cloak in tighter to hide his wounds. \"Fish,\" he answered, \"Herrings to be exact. Ferocious Holy Red Herrings.\" " ]	1
	[WP] You were rich in your first life, so you had your brain cryogenically frozen to be brought back in the future. You're enjoying the after life, when all of a sudden you wake up.	[ "Joe Bradley was a self-made billionaire. He founded BradleyTech, proprietors of the best selling bradleyPhones and bradleyPads, and began investigating cryogenic freezing. Once he had turned 80, Joe was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, close to his heart. He decided to freeze himself until there was a reliable cure.\n\nThe second his consciousness faded when his scientists froze him, he woke up in... paradise was the only way to describe it. Whatever you liked, whenever you liked it.\n\nIn fact, he was in the middle of a massive feast of spaghetti, when all of a sudden, he woke up on a steel table, a flickering light in his face. As he started to get up, a tall, mustached man threw a pickaxe into his hands, and muttered \"work\" while pointing a submachine gun at his head.\n\nWhat had happened? Joe thought as he slaved away in a coal mine with thousands of other people, as more men, some of them with cybernetic addons, continued to point machine guns at him and his fellow man. He got six hours of sleep, two thirty-minute breaks a day for eating, and a small one-hour break if every one had \"good behavior\".\n\nEventually, he had pieced together what had happened from his fellow prisoners.\n\nAfter he had gone, for twenty years, progress simply accelerated. New tech, better tech arose. Then cybernetics came into play. All the major governments illegalized it when George Bradley, Joe Bradley's son, introduced it. But that didn't stop people. One could get \"back alley\" cybernetics, or go to a place such as Russia or Great Britain where they were legal.\n\nEventually, it got aggressive. Police under President Tom Hanks could x-ray a suspected cyborg at will. \"Cyborg rights\" activists started to crop up, trying to legalize \"non-lethal\" cybernetics and give \"treatment\" to cyborgs.\n\nWhat happened next, Joe couldn't exactly pin down. Some say that George himself put special chips in every cybernetic that allowed for mind control. Others said that the cyborgs rose up of their own accord. Either way, cyborgs overthrew all the major world governments in under a week.\n\nWith the cyborgs in control, a new philosophy was established. The pre-uprising cyborgs were \"the Great Cyborgs\". They got all the delicacies, such as cooked food and purified water. The other organic people were captured as slaves and had mandatory cybernetics implanted in them, forcing them to live unnaturally long lives and eat unprepared food, as \"The Lesser Cyborgs\". Joe understood that the men watching them were the \"Great Cyborgs\", and everyone under them, including him, had been implanted with mandatory cybernetics.\n\nApparently, cybernetics had a fatal flaw that turned people sterile, so the Cyborgs could never reproduce. What was left of the governments froze humans and put them underground, in bunkers. But the Great Cyborgs found them, and converted them to the Lesser Cyborg slaves.\n\nThere were once resistance groups, sung about as bringers of hope, but once the Great Cyborgs had access to the killsats it was hopeless.\n\nJoe spent the rest of his life attempting to suicide, to get back to paradise, but his implants prevented him from doing so. Joe, and the rest of his race, slaved under the Cybrogs until global warming roasted them all to death." ]	1
	[WP] In a world where the good die young, you're celebrating your 1000th birthday tomorrow.	[ "His hundreds of clones didn't know the real name of the one who spawned them. But his time was soon approaching...\n\n\"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRIME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRIME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRAIAIIIIIM! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRIME!!!!\n\n\"1000 years...we all know that deal was for one more millennia of freedom...but even Prime must die!\"\n\nThe clones cried and moaned, their theatrics staged so poorly, as if they were all forced to sob on command.\n\nPrime raised his frail hand from where it was on its armrest. The act of which felt beyond excruciating. \n\nHis gesture served its purpose, silence fell over the room as immediate as the sobs. \n\n\"But every year I make this deal...as long as one of you is able to hold the curse, we can rule for another millennia!!!\"\n\nThe Prime clones' hollow cheers echoed against the stone chamber where they were gathered. \n\n\"Now everyone, raise your glasses!!\"\n\nThe clones chanted \"TO DEATH! TO REBIRTH! WE DRINK DEATH! AND IF THERE IS EVEN ONE LEFT!? WE SHALL RISE AGAIN!!!!!!!\"\n\nSimultaneously they all knock their head back as they ingest the poisonous wine. \n\nThe first to die is the Prime, slumped over on his throne, his wrinkled chin touching his chest, if he wasn't evil personified, it wouldn't be odd to mistake him for just a peaceful old man.\n\nThen one clone after another perished. Many tried to resist, their entire existence resting on this one moment. Until none were left.\n\nThe mages at a loss finally sobered at the realization their dark master was gone for good. They were in the middle of cleaning the chamber of the mountain of corpses when one of them awoke, as if from a deeeeep slumber. \n\n\"I'm ALIVE, this body is now MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\" The Prime bellowed\n\n\"Long live the prime!! Long live Merlin!!Long live the prime!! Long live Merlin!!Long live the prime!!\" \n\nThe mages chants fading into the night, the eve of yet another era of evil begins...", "I sat there with my fellow friends, for what I hoped was my final birthday/goodbye party – the room was quite crowded, I think maybe 50 people showed up tonight. I wished we could throw the party somewhere else this year, but everyone just feels at home here, so I agreed... My ideas weren’t always the most popular, but I wanted to make everyone happy. \nThey all sang to me, in their beautiful voices. In 1,000 years, we all had stayed youthful, lean and beautiful. I guess it’s something about being attracted to the dark side that keeps us looking so great – to draw others in…. \nIt was a night like many others before that. Large amounts of food and drinks were passed around, along with other substances, while clothes, gossip and laughter littered the room. We literally walked on money, while constantly one-upping the last story. These were always “parties like no other.” But after 1,000 years of this stuff, I was growing tired of them. People would come and go throughout the years, but the parties were always the same. My wish tonight was to finally leave for good. \nI had left before. Multiple times in fact… but each time I left, I was gone for longer and longer. I got pulled back in, because of the love and forgiveness that was offered to me. It was just SO comforting. And to be honest, this life was never dull. It’s hard to be on the outside, as a bit of a loner. I couldn’t even promise myself, that I was strong enough to stand my own ground, on my own. As my friends said goodbye, I could tell they were conflicted inside. They were not sure if I would just be gone for a year or two this time, or was this really it? \nSo as the hours passed, and the sun rose, I kissed my friends and thanked them for yet another wonderful night. I left them, passed out in the pews, so that they could wake up to pray away their sins later that day… I ventured out of the heavy wooden doors and into the bright, warm morning air. \nI couldn’t wait to get to my quiet little home, and release from my life, those 7 deadly sins, that had ironically kept me in this realm for all of these years... \n", "Every day there are two choices, help yourself or others. for 999 years I have made a choice. This choice has given me power, youth, and because of the ladder two, money. Age gathers wisdom, and the wise find a way to live. I am now wise. youth is wise. This kind world we live in cycles life into those who keep it. I don't give out life. my life is my own. there is one truth in the world and that is life. MY life. today I don't need my cane. today my legs feel like they did when they were 20.. or at least 200. centuries tend to blur together after the 4th or 5th. I find it funny how people try and find self worth in \"deeds\" to help others. others can help themselves. I find that the more you look inwardly, the less \"deeds\" you see for others. \nThe door shuts behind me as i leave to see my latest project. the driver keeps the car running. The last of the graves are being cleared from the land next door. I'm tired of the \"others\" taking up my land. its all my land. they cant have it in life and are weak enough to die. they don't deserve it in death. there is no use to waste my land like that.\nIts great to claim. the longer youre here the more claim you have. gods claimed the land and the people worship them. Egyptian gods lived for thousands of years on the land that they claimed. they wasted it. they gave it to the kings they appointed to rule. those kings build tombs, and wasted it with structures to hold their gold. if they kept it they may have lived. always trade up. buy things worth more than what you pay. the one thing these \"gods\" have over me is that they were given. i think that may have been their downfall. because with these gifts they were given, they didn't take. they upset the order. the strong take, not get given. this was the end of their reign, and it started before it even began. \n\nWhen they worship you, you give them something they cant hold, but you cant take. its a universal sickness that plagues the world. killing everyone who falls prey. How human to hope. the universe hates humans, we hope and prey. that's not the natural order. every species takes from what is under it and next to it. and strives to take from what is above it. When youre at the top you can only become the top of what you are. and i am there. \nThe graveyard is cleared. I now have 15 more seconds of sunrise every day.\nas i walk back to my driver, I feel the slight pain in my joints fade away and my skin regain bounce. \n\n\nGet what you can from those lower. Give them less or nothing in return, and take what they cant hold. As I turn the clock on a millennium, today I control the sun and the earth beneath my feet. Mountains will tremble. Oceans will fall. The planet will be mine, and the sun will shine for me alone.\n", "“This world ain't as busy as it used to be. I suppose it ain't as empty as it should be neither. Hazy fragments of a life's long gone memory occasionally rise to the surface. For the last two hundred years or so it's been the same damn one coming up for air. Now sadly I know how fickle memory is. I say sadly because I've come to realise ignorance truly is bliss, how much better life would be with a delusional blanket of certainty wrapped around me, protecting me from the second guessing of a life gone past.\n\n None the less certain things stick. I remember sitting in Sunday school, so it must of been a Sunday. Sometimes I remember it as a hot day, sometimes it's rainy and miserable. The faces around me always change, but no matter, what are other people but placeholders for my experiences Now I grew up in the Deep South, real fire and brimstone types, most of em probably still alive. We were receiving a lesson about the Rapture and Armageddon. How all the good Christians would be taken to heaven and the bad would suffer heinous physical and mental torment at the hands of demons. Well I'll tell you something, they nearly got that one right. But who needs daemons when the souls of men, twisted and deformed by torrents of time and hate, will do the job? The thing is, I wasn't paying much attention at the time, was too busy trying to get a hand up the girls skirt next to me, or put chewing gum in here hair, or whatever. Its funny how the poignancy of some things manage to stick Or maybe my memory is making it all up, hopelessly trying give my life some kind of narrative, direction.\n\nSo that's what happened. Except there were no declarative trumpets from the Heavens, no seven headed dragon rising from the bowels of the underworld. Bad people just stopped dying. It wasn't obvious at first, just little hints. The world record for the longest human life was broken by a an ex concentration camp officer, life expectancy went up, the population swelled. Before too long people figured out what was up. The worse you were, the longer you lived. Now this didn't meant that a blade in the heart or a bullet in the brain wouldn't stop you. Just meant that death by natural causes were a thing of the past. So if you ever winged a guy, you know he aint gonna die of some infection.\nSo I always aim to kill. Well I suppose I dont need to tell YOU that, just look around you.\n\nWell never had I seen polarization occur so quickly. Cults of behaviour, good and bad, sprung out of the woodwork. Some people were desperate to join the supposed afterlife, and lived in communes structured around the ideology of benevolence. Poor fucks, little did they realise that institutionalised good goes sour real quick. Others banded together with the aim of living as long as possible, spreading carnage where ever they went. I'll give them kudos for the effort, but evil for the sake of survival is just a facet of human nature. Sure they lived long enough, but from my encounters with them I always felt they really didn't really mean it, yaknow? Just play acting at being the bad guys. I occasionally saw one of them grimace while putting down a child. Hey man, I don't know who the one judging our morality is, but you sure cant trick em. Most of them actors are gone now\n\nSure enough the world fell into disarray. At first the world just could not deal with the numbers. Food went low, water ran out. Now of course no one died from this, people just got real hungry and real thirsty. Nothing drives the circle of evil like a burning pit of want. Cut to a couple of hundred years later and people had pretty much stopped having children. Just cause we lived long didnt mean our reproductive systems stood the test of time. Anywho, most kids were born to bad people, and in this world of desolation its hard to find the “righteous path”. \n\nSo here we sit, out here in the wilderness. It must get pretty lonely out here huh? Well I suppose you had company, none left but me now. Hey, don't look at me like that, your still breathing... At the moment. Be reassured you can join your friends real soon, I just wanted someone to talk to on my birthday. Oh did I not mention, today is my 1000th birthday. You know what that means? That I am one evil motherfuker. Not the kind of evil born outa necessity, noo no noo sir. I did not come here steal your food and water, hell I like riding on an empty stomach, really pushes the evil bile to the top. Im not even here for your women, as pretty as they are. Rapes never been for me, it too is driven by a natural urge. My kind of evil is transcendent, it rises above the pettiness of you and your kin. I just wanted to celebrate this special day, get someone else's blood on my hands, through my hair, in my eyes. You know how it is. Huh, okay maybe you dont. \n\nI once met someone older than me, the one who did this to my face. He was the silent type, unlike me, I like to chat. It was a fierce dual but by Satan he got the better of me. As I lay helpless in the dust, a rusty saw to my throat I finally made my peace. For the first time after all these years I let my will to live abandon me. But that son of a bitch must of noticed a change in my expression, my aura, my who the fuck knows. Somehow he clocked it. With that, he turned on his heel and walked away. That's how I knew, knew he was older than me. What kind of sick fuck would deprive someone of their final rest. Anyway, not to worry, I aint that bad a sort.” BANG\n\n“Happy birthday to me”\n\n\n\n", "I was born at the very incarnation of the Sacrum Imperium Romanum, or the Holy Roman Empire as many would come to know it, at the year nine hundred sixty two. The life of a poor land bound peasant was the fate of me and most of my kin for most of our pitiful lives. This was simply due to the social class we were born and most of us had come to accept it as the way the world works. However, this did not mean that we were just blindly accepting to all of the horrific things forced on us. Our family regularly broke the laws of the realm in order to keep food on the table. This could range from hunting in woods that were restricted to only the Imperial nobility or to such extremes as robbing passerby's as if we were some form of petty highwayman. These family functions soon caused me to have a insular disconnection to the standard morality that many in this age would have. This being said, one cannot assume that I had much of a standard morality to begin with simply due to the epoch that I was born in. \n\nAs the years slowly began to tug and reave the other members of my family I began to notice something quite peculiar. I did not seem to be affected by the same human decay that they were. I seemed to be stuck in my late twenties by the time many of them began to pass away. This was a development that only concerned me a minor amount. I still had the basic concerns of food and water before I began to ponder my oddly extended longevity. This caused me to resume the same bland effort that we had always done to retrieve food and water. Hunting and acts of crime. However, when I fumbled in going to retrieve my blade once when tormenting this brigade of travelers one of them fired a arrow directly into my chest. I was absolutely stunned for the moment. The second I noticed, and I assume they had as well because they all began to run off, that I had failed to meet the reaper merely seconds after the arrow pierced my heart I began to laugh. It was a cruel, soul rending, eldritch laugh. I could not explain what caused all sense of human decency to fly out the window at that moment. This was a new age.\n\nI went about wearing different faces throughout the years. The names of the most feared men in history belonged to me and only me. The devastation I had left was able to be heard in the legends and myths of the people who suffered from it. Killers and leaders were some of my favorite titles to go by. \n\nNow, it was nineteen sixty two. I have been President of the Reich for around ten years now. It was a office one served until their death. The people of Großdeutschland were in for a surprise. I walked out to the podium that awaited me in front of the crowd of countless cheering members of the Reich and removed my hat as I simply stood there and drank in the atmosphere of it all. Finally, I was at my height. ", "\"I can't believe you're only a thousand years old.\"\n\n\"Not yet.\"\n\n\"Close enough. This is what I did when I turned a thousand, gosh it feels like so long ago... it was. Anyway, this is our tradition. You're bad enough now.\"\n\n\"Are you sure?\"\n\n\"This is one of the best parts.\"\n\n\"You don't think I'll drown?\"\n\n\"How many good people have you killed?\"\n\n\"Hmmm... hundrends.\"\n\n\"That ought to be enough right there.\" He smiled. He took off his shoes. Now they were both barefoot. The sand was cool and comfortable as it conformed to his toes. They walked toward the waves while the stones that dangled on chains from the belts they both wore traced grooves in the sand behind them.\n\nNervous, the young man wished for the opportunity to fortify himself with any last minute life-giving deed. That a baby seal, for instance, might emerge from the surf and he could strangle it slowly. But he knew the time for preparation was long gone. Now he would be tested.\n\nThe waves flooded past their shins, and then their knees and soon both their heads were a foot under the surface, and then two feet, and they had to paddle awkwardly forward as their steps tread the ocean floor less and less and then not at all. Soon the bottom fell far away from them, the top far above, and their depths no longer changed as they swam-walked forward. Their chains looked like tentacles, they resembled angels, or squids imitating angels as the stones weighed their wastes down and kept them upright. \n\nThere was no breath, but no matter. He was right, neither of them were good enough to die. And so a mile from shore the sizes of the schools of fish grew astronomically. They moved as singular masses in incredible murmurations. The variety was breathtaking, if there had been any breath to take.\n\nHe smiled at the young man once again. He couldn't voice words down here so his expression conveyed, 'I told you. Isn't it wonderful?'\n\nThe reply was an expression in return, 'Yes'.\n\nThey went further. Slowly, the boy was starting to feel something. A sickness. A small creeping slow attack from within his body. A need. To breath.\n\nHe signaled to his partner who smiled again as if to say, 'I know.' The older one looked around to make sure they'd gone to the right type of waters. Then satisfied, he took a knife and cut the younger one free of his belt. The tentacles fell away from him. And as the young one rose to the surface the older took one last deft swipe at his ankle and scribed a deep wound so that a trail of blood followed him toward the surface, thin at first but thicker as the boy ascended like a long streaming banner. \n\nSharks. The man thought to himself. So dumb. The ridiculous ruse and the hopeless rube who'd fallen for it. What a stroke of luck to find a millennial. You hardly ever saw them these days. Like winning the lottery. They were old enough to be worth a huge amount of longevity in the offing, yet young enough to be tricked into the most beautiful situations.\n\nHe waited in gleeful satisfaction for the first of the mighty fish to show up and start on their prey. He watched from below the silhouettes against the sky beyond the surface of the water. They toyed with him at first and then they dove in greedily. The sharks wouldn't get anything beyond their nourishment from this. There wasn't anything either good or bad but what thinking made so and these sea predators didn't think like that. That was the glorious thing about humans who alone could live practically forever off such calculated destruction as he'd just orchestrated.\n\nBut then again he had a lot in common with those vicious automatic beasts. He did this to survive. Nasty business perhaps (though that was a dangerous thought) but necessary. When only the good die young its a matter of life and death to be bad. To survive one simply had to survive, no matter what it took. It was this way when money still ruled the world too. Nothing new under the sun.\n\nOn his way home he thought nostalgically on those times so long ago before street smarts was naturally selected into every creature that ever knew a road. Then he could swerve and squash a dozen squirrels in a good week's worth of driving. The good old days. A long long time ago. Then he did hit something. In his reveries he hadn't been paying attention. He missed the point of impact. But there ahead of him was a young girl on the road. Of course, a youngster had to find death, they were like moths. All this time and natural selection still hadn't condescended to endow humans with basic badness. Selfishness and spite and all those things, sure. But not evil. Not yet.\n\nHe got out of the car and approached the body. She still breathed. How could she have survived? He must have been doing fifty at least? Finishing the job. That's a rookie mistake; accidental mercy had swallowed up many a better man than he. No, this was for nature to run its course. He walked back toward his idling trunk and nearly made it when a sharp crack on his skull sent him writhing to the pavement.\n\nA dozen or so more blows prevented him from seeing, but not from hearing the giggles. She bent down over her mess and spoke to him, \"I'm not as young as I look.\" \n\nShe took down her hair and wiped the blood from her face. It was true. This was a women in a young girl's clothes. She could have been any age but she wasn't a child. \n\n\"And how old are you?\" she asked.\n\nHe told the truth. It didn't matter now. In his life he'd only met a handful of people stupid enough to do something so kind as to save someone so far gone off the road. In fact, he'd just fed the only one he'd met this century to sharks.\n\n\"I'm 90,000.\"\n\nShe let out a shrieking giggle like someone who can't hold onto a belch and then she lost it entirely. \n\n\"I just won the lottery,\" she exclaimed and kicked him many more times in ecstatic celebration. \n\nHe heard his truck shift into gear and then heard the tires trace a long circle around him and then the truck peeled off. For years he lay in the road while cars swerved to avoid him. Even the carrion feeders didn't risk the perils of the road for a fresh meal. Decades passed. And finally, he came to regret 90,000 years worth of misdeeds until that moment when his remorse fully covered every prolific trespass of his past and he was released.", "I took a long drag from my cigarette, exhaling the smoke into the dark, grey sky. It was damp and cold, just like every year on my birthday. One of the downsides of being born in the middle of winter. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I guess not.\n\nI had quit smoking years ago. But without the threat of cancer, what was the point to stopping? I had beaten cancer so many times, the doctors called me a “miracle”. I smirked as I stubbed out my cigarette on the stoop. A miracle - something like that.\n\nStepping back inside, I shrugged off my coat in the entryway of my apartment. It was sparse - a couch, an end table, a TV. No pictures or mementos adorned the shelves. Everyone I loved was long gone - my children, parents, friends. I had even stopped adopting animals, though my love for them had never diminished. Having to bury them all had grown harder and harder. I couldn’t bare it anymore, and besides, I was getting used to being alone. \n\nI meandered into the kitchen, opening all the cabinets, even though I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I settled on grabbing a glass, then turning on the tap and filling it with water. I leaned back against the counter top. A familiar song was stuck in my head, I absentmindedly hummed along, watching the snow fall outside.\n\nAnd I’m definitely going to hell\nBut I’ll have all the best stories to tell\n\nFor years, I had thought that was my theme song. I even told a date that once. He looked at me, incredulous.\n\nYou think you’re going to hell? He asked.\n\nOh, of course, I am. I smiled, taking a sip of my drink. I’ve made quite a few mistakes, I explained. But damn, if I haven’t had a good time doing it. I raised my glass, but he just shook his head.\n\nThat was 972 years ago. I thought it was a joke back then - I did have fun, lots of fun. But I never considered myself a bad person, just misguided at times. \n\nI guess I was wrong.\n\nI opened the refrigerator, looking at the white box sitting on the top shelf. Tomorrow I would celebrate another birthday alone. The big 1-0-0-0. With who knows how many more to follow.\n\nHell would be a welcome release at this point.", "Pack it in, buddy. Take your brother there with you, sewn up as he is, inside that tarp sack. I did you a favor - I can be nice, sometimes - he would have been hard to handle in pieces. I’ve stacked him like legos inside, for convenience, and mortared his bits together with tar. Also, I did it so that when you took him, he wouldn’t bleed over my carpet (it’s Persian). You couldn’t replace it. The artist is dead.\n\nWho’s next? You there - with the look of disgust. Frank, do I injure your delicate senses? Do I dare to disturb your moral-bound soul? Do I pluck at the bows that keep you corseted, so that you can stand, though you have no spine? Me, the Big Bad, who sups at the innocent, brought here every year to lengthen my reign, which, at this point, feels almost eternal. Deal with it - this was the deal, after all. \n\nI’m the King of the World, or, at least, of this ship, which is the whole world, for those of us on it. Three-thousand-four-hundred-twenty-eight-years, that’s what’s outstanding on this journey’s bill. If I’m turning one thousand, tomorrow, what of it? Those who are standing before me, my courtiers, how much younger are you, in wakening-years? Not much, now, admit it. Don’t look so shy. Nine-hundred-ninety-eight, there, by the window. Nine-hundred-ninety-two, there, in that chair. \n\nSo - three more millennia, at least, until touch down. Hurry up, Frank. I don’t have all day. Who are you shifting, this time, you coward? Fine. That’s fine. I don’t care that you hate this. You have a choice, as we all do, you know. Just give me the ID for her cryo-bay. Will you be wanting to send off the body? No? I thought so, you sniveling shit.\n\nSixBot, commence shutdown of G-90. Usual procedure, disconnect from the mainframe, recycle the bioware that can be stripped. No need to condense the bay, and remains. Frank is a coward - but I’ve said that already. He won’t be holding a wake for his mother. Jettison once it's been severed cleanly; Airlock 16 is cleared for the drop. \n\nThree more, now. Come on. Who’s stepping up for it? We’ll never survive if we don’t make the cull. Only the good die young, as they say. We stay alive, though we don’t deserve to. We who were charged with being the shepherds, to take these sweet lambs into a new world - we, who then failed them, and miscalculated, by a wide margin of resource and years. Some of the herd must be sacrificed, sadly, so that the rest can survive the long trail. It feels never ending, and year after year, seems only to grow in predicted duration; let me voice, then, the question that haunts you - will there be anyone left, in the end?\n\nSettle down, Janet. Don’t look so queasy. We’ll keep this ship running until that day comes. They’ll try us, and jail us, when we finally land. The dubious dignity of our old age will serve to condemn us all, when they waken. Pray - do you pray? - that they’ll kill off just one: the one who commanded the mass executions. Keep your hands clean, and don’t meet my eyes, and give me the goddamn ID that you’ve chosen. \n\nFiveBot, commence shutdown of J-80. Janet, did you want to send off the body?", "\"No one came.\" He thought. \"Another year and no one came, just like that bastard so called father and his newest whore!\"\n\nSteaming he walked to his window, the city sprawled out beneath him seventy stories below. \n\nWith face flush with blood he whispered,\n\n\"They will pay... They will pay yet again.\"\n\nSiren began to wail under his feet, his birthday song...", "Dazzling lights. \n\nAn enormous crowd. \n\nHell, it even looks like they threw together a red carpet for me. \n\nAnd to think that I used to keep my gift to myself. No longer am I the village pariah, the man who has to move every few years. Having to start over again and again just because people start to notice the lack of grey. No longer am I chased with pitchforks, stabbed, shot, burned, buried under a ton of cold, hard earth. No. Now, they worship me as a god - the man with the secret of immortality. If only they knew the truth. \n\nI hated every last one of them. \n\nThat's the trick, you see. Hate. The more of it, the better. Good people, normal people - they just don't hate enough to see any real results. Sure, an old fogey here and there hit 120 - to give them credit, they hate plenty. But compared to me, at nearly one thousand years old...they might as well compare a candle to the sun. \n\nDon't get me wrong. I smile, and laugh, and love. On the outside, at least. One thousand years gives you plenty of time to perfect your acting. All the same, it's not perfect. After all - I got caught. \n\nIt's harder today than ever before to slip away from an old life. Papers, social media, the IRS...it seems like everyone knows what everyone else is up to, all the time. No privacy, that's what it is. It's a sham. And I wound up on the wrong side of it - cuffed and bagged only a week after I last tried to make myself disappear. \n\nWhen they realized who I was...what I was...they gave me an ultimatum. Allow their scientists to study me, find out what it was that made me tick, and all would be forgiven. Typical. People have been trying to figure out how to stick around in this world for far longer than I've been around. Nasty, nasty business, that. Usually, whatever treatments they wound up giving themselves only killed them all the sooner. But I had expected this. I knew what they would do. And I did the only thing that they couldn't stop: I went public. More than that, I went viral.\n\nIt was a simple trick, really. Like any good magician, I set the stage long before the act began. I used a website, of my own creation, detailing exactly who and what I was - poised to go live if ever I failed to reset the countdown. On it, I promised that if I got my way, I would reveal my secret to the world. \n\nThey could barely keep me a week.\n\nNow, of course, there was no going back. Everyone knew my face, my various aliases, everything - and everyone wanted a piece of me. There was no way that I was slipping out of this one. Finally, the day had arrived: my 1000th birthday party. The day I shared immortality with the world. \n\nStage set. Microphone ready. Somehow, even after all this time, speaking in front of such a crowd still gave me pause. Behind the curtain, it was cool. Dark. Quiet. \n\nUntil the man showed up. \n\nHe wore a suit, a bowler hat, and a frown. His eyes were deep, sunken pits that seemed to hold darkness in the way a puddle holds water. Where he came from, exactly, I never knew. But when he clamped his hand around my shoulder, I knew that his arrival had been no accident. \n\n\"Come.\" He said. I swatted him away. \n\n\"And go where? To some dark alley where I can be chained away, only for you to die of old age before you break me like all the rest? I think not. I've promises to keep, and you shall not keep me from them.\"\n\n\"Fool's promises!\" He spat. \"Come! We have much to discuss, and little time in which to do it.\" \n\n\"No.\" I replied, eyes narrowing. Forget hating this man - I truly loathed him, with every second of my lengthened existence. Absently, I wondered where my security had gone off to - but we were quite alone. The man growled - a deep, hollow rumbling quite a bit louder than I had expected that seemed to shake the stage beneath my feet. \n\n\"I will not have some fool of a child spilling our secrets to the rest of the world just to get out of what amounts to a parking ticket!?\" He said, voice thundering like an earthquake. \"Now, come...or I shall make you.\" \n\n\n\"...Did you say our secrets?\" I asked. The man didn't answer. Instead, he turned away, walking towards the stage-right exit. Intrigued, I began to follow. \n\nAnd that marked my first encounter with the Counsel of the Long Night. ", "Few people run orphanages or shelters solo. Being good 24/7 like that takes too much out of you. Most of those places are run by committees of 40 or 50 people who have resigned themselves to dying at 50. See, scientifically you only have so much \"good\" to give. Most people spend theirs slowly by going through life being good when they have to, and just doing their own thing the rest of the time. They're not bad, either, of course. They just don't overdo it.\n\nTaking care of one's kids, for example, won't take that much good out of you if you're smart about it. Just punish them when you feel like it, rather than every time they need it. Then it's about you making yourself happy, not being a good parent. If you want to give someone a present, be sure to do it in an attitude of basking in their gratefulness instead of as a nice gesture. You get the picture. I mean sure, you'll still use some good along the way, but enough that you can live to 75 or 80, just like everyone.\n\nWhen I first found out how the good system worked, I decided to see just how little good I could spend in a day. I flipped off my mom when she finished explaining, and when I got put on time-out I just left the corner and did my own thing. My parents kept trying to punish me, but I knew that as long as I disregarded them, I wouldn't have to part with any of that good. Christmas that year, I didn't thank anyone for presents, just played with them until they broke. I found it came very easy to stop caring about my parents and teachers and friends and just see them as being there to make me happy and fill my needs.\n\nThat was 990 years ago. I'm quite a cynical person, of course. I see people wasting their good and bask in my superiority while playing Half Life 3 at home. I don't go out much; it's too easy to accidentally waste a tiny bit of good on an \"excuse me\" or a \"thank you\". But my asshole neighbors are getting tired of the no-good guy in the run-down house. I think they're plotting to give me a litter of puppies for my birthday tomorrow. I love puppies. My parents were appalled when they saw what I did to little Sammy." ]	11
	[WP] Every time a person dies, a demon gets his/her horns. A demon must coerce a man into killing someone to earn their horns.	[ " \"That sounds an awful lot like 'It's a Wonderful Life', with uh, Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.\"\n \"Did you hear?\"\n \"Yeah, Yeah murder horns. It's a really famous movie, Frank Capra. Clarence, Zou Zou's petals.\"\n \"This is serious.\"\n \"What about White Christmas? Or Miracle on 34th Street?\"\n \"I don't watch a lot of movies. In hell.\"\n \"Well I guess that figures. What about Blondie?\"\n \"What about Blondie?\"\n \"Is there Blondie in hell?\"\n \"Well there's Union City Blue. This is extremely serious, I've been waiting years and years for this, and not to talk about popular music.\"\n \"I don't even think Union City Blue charted in the US.\" \n \"Are you going to do it or not?\"\n \"I'll do it. But you're going to have to watch It's a Wonderful Life. And When Harry Met Sally. And Jaws. And All About Eve, ooh I love All About Eve. I think Bette Davis is the best actress that ever lived.\"\n \"I wait 300 years and end up with a sixteen year old who's seen 9 movies.\"\n \"You want me to do it or not?\"\n \"Yes, yes. James Stewart in hell. Flowers. Zoos.\"", "“Come on, it’s so easy.” Whispered a thousand voices. He felt the weight of the knife in his hand, and knew just how sharp it was. There she stood, half dressed, and vulnerable. “Just right there. Right in the neck. You could say it was an accident.” They urged. Suddenly things became less clear. Formless beings crawled into the edges of his vision. Their eyes, black holes, bored into him. It would be so easy to—\n\t“Which means you need to vacuum a lot more okay? I’ll make sure the dishes are kept up though. I’ll admit, I make way more than you do. Something wrong?” Penny asked, delicate blue eyes fixating on him. Reality snapped back into place. \n\t“Uh…oh! Man, I must’ve spaced again. No, no everything’s fine.” He replied, marveling at how steady his voice sounded. She grinned, then offered the cucumber from the fridge. Gingerly, he accepted it and placed it on the cutting board. \n\t“I’m going to go get dressed.” She said, already sauntering down the hallway. He blinked as the light fixture fizzed out for a moment. It was there, all teeth and eyes, in the one moment of darkness. \n\t“Do not resist what comes naturally. You were a born killer. Now do it. Slice her throat while she’s distracted!” It commanded. Suddenly he could picture it. Her gasping corpse, the taste of copper and the arc of blood. There was something perfect about it all. Something, right. He blinked, and refocused on reality. \n\t“Get a grip. Come on.” He muttered while slicing the vegetable. After a few moments, he heard the patter of her feet on the linoleum\n“Hey sweetie…” She began. He turned to face her, only to find her mouth twisted into a Rictus grin. Horror gripped his mind. “You mind if I just…borrow…your heart? Just for a sec.” In that moment, she lurched forward, hands suddenly razor claws. In her soulless eyes, he could see the rage, the desire for his flesh. In a panic, he swiped, and she howled. The air was thick with the smell of iron. It stood over her, admiring the handiwork. His knees gave way as he watched it take form. What had once been a void was now his beloved Penny. From her forehead, a pair of gnarled horns began to grow. \n“Took longer than I thought. Thanks anyway, kid.” In a puff of smoke, It and the real Penny were gone. " ]	2
Some possible ideas for the Floridian's exploits and abilities: -Maybe he was involved in the 2000 election, the rise of Donald Trump, or the 2008 economic crisis. Maybe he actually is Donald Trump. -He can lure people of all ages to spend time and money, from convincing children and parents to go to Disney World (NYSE: DIS) to persuading little old ladies to buy swampland in Florida from companies that he controls. -He has a "get out of jail free" card. Maybe he is or blessed George Zimmerman and Casey Anthony. [Fixed to discourage short posts]	[WP] Florida Man is an actual comics supervillain, known as "The Floridian." Write his Wikipedia (or DC/Marvel Wikia) entry.	[ "The Floridian, (real name unknown) (d.o.b. unknown) or more commonly referred to as Florida Man is the name of the main super villain protagonist who had his first appearance in hit comic book series The Floridian. Florida man is commonly categorized by his ability to do random yet unbelievable things while seeming unaware to how his exploits are affecting the world. His actions are random, and have caused many of the fans worldwide to spit liquids from their mouths and ruin pretty important papers whilst shaking their heads in disbelief that any such things is possible for a character to do in the already bizarre comic book world. However, in the end of each comic book, he is revealed to have a super-secret ultra-awesome plan that was the result of his random and unbelievable antics. Most of the titles uses the same character structure and starts with \"Florida man...\" and typically includes some bizarre title of Florida Man's undoing so as to anticipate the life of The Floridian with great interest.\n\nOriginally started as a funny gag from the ever popular internet-memes about Florida man, the comics have evolved into so much more as the character of The Floridian. In the latter and more serious volumes, he is also seen in the company of super villains like Bad Horse and Dr. Horrible, after joining the Evil league of evil. (more)\n\nContents\n\n[Show]" ]	1
	[WP] You're the first person in the modern world that can use magic and it all happened because you couldn't find your lighter...	[ "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I thought to myself, sweating bullets as I tore up my house. Where the hell did I place that stupid thing? It was close to eight, and I only had about half an hour before the fireworks were going to start. I needed that lighter. I searched over and over again, turned my car upside down, the house into a disaster, and still, nothing. It was like someone took it. I sat down on my couch and just tried to think where I put it. The more I thought the angrier I got until it felt like my blood was about to boil. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down, but to no avail. I smelled smoke.\n\n\"OH SHIT!\" I yelled, noticing my hand was on fire. I ran to my kitchen sink faster than I think I have run in my life, turned on the cold water, and let it cleanse my hand. I noticed something strange then. My hand didn't hurt at all, nor was it charred like it should have been. It was actually perfectly fine, in fact, it felt tingly, as though adrenaline was surging through it. I heard shouting.\n\n\"Mark, you alright? I smell smoke.\" It was my gardener.\n\n\"Yeah Adam, all good, just burnt some chicken I was trying to make.\"\n\n\"Oh, haha okay. You never were a good cook.\"\n\n\"Wow, thanks.\" I turned off the water and inspected my hand, and there wasn't a mark on it. \n\nHow fucking strange.\n\nIt was little things like that, a spontaneous combustion here, some water boiling off me in the shower there, little things. I finally decided to test it one day. I just got home from work, and I noticed a piece of newspaper in my yard. I focused with all my brainpower, and it burst into flame. I thought it was pretty neat, so I did it to Adam, I never cared for him anyways. The shrieking wasn't great, but I wasn't fast enough to douse him with my hose before he was burnt well done. It was a shame, I'd have to find a new gardener. Then I got an idea. If I can control fire, no one can control me. So I set off. I waltzed into work, lit the place up, and walked out, the place in ashes behind me. I went to my ex and razed her apartment building to the ground. Anyone and everyone who did me wrong would burn. Nothing could stop me, not the police, military, or otherwise. I went everywhere, burning just because I could because I wanted to. Along the way, I noticed that military buildings were so explosive they did my work for me, and soon enough I found the nukes, and it was smooth sailing from there. The world knew me now. Now, they all knew me." ]	1
	[WP] You are walking in a crowded downtown plaza when a Facebook notification goes off on your phone: "Are you OK? It looks like you're in the area affected by EMERGENCY PROTOCOL 1016B. Let friends know if you're safe." Confused, you look around to discover you're alone.	[ "The crowd disappeared almost as fast as anxiety took over my mind. I leaned against the side of a damp building to gain my balance. It was just a notification, I told myself. It didn't mean anything. \n\nI closed my eyes, trying to remember the damn safe place my therapist kept telling me to imagine. The crackling of a fireplace. The smell of caramel on vanilla ice cream. The warmth and softness of being wrapped in a blanket. \n\nBlack fog covered me as I mustered the courage to face the world. \n\nI fidgeted for my phone and called Sarah. She answered after three rings. \n\n\"David, where are you?\" she asked, her voice gentle.\n\n\"I thought I was heading downtown, but I can't tell anymore,\" I managed to say. I didn't why I was whispering. \"You have to help me, I can't see anything but black fog here.\" \n\nThere was a giant crash in the distance, with a cloud of smoke and dust rising above the thick fog. \n\n\"What was that?\" panic slowly seeping into her voice. \n\n\"I don't know.\" \n\n\"I just checked... no one knows what's happening. Facebook only says to evacuate the area immediately. I am calling 911. David, stay where you are.\" \n\n\"I can't...\"\n\nI heard the faint screeching of sirens as I decided to run. It only took 5 strides for me to run face-first into a metal pole. \n\n\"David, the police aren't picking up!\" I heard her say over the ringing in my head. \n\nI look around for my phone, blood dripping from my forehead. I pinpoint its location by following the sound of Sarah's static-infused voice. How did the phone get so far?\n\nI crawled to it, as the fog wasn't as thick this close to the ground. Three distinct booms sounded near me. I covered my head and screamed, thinking they were gunshots. \n\nCovering my mouth, I lunged at the phone. \n\n\"Sarah!\" I said as loudly as I dared. \n\nTik-tik-tik-tik. \n\n\"Sarah, I need you!\"\n\nTik-tik-tik-tik.\n\nThat was the only sound that came from the phone. \n\nDull thuds approached me. I stood up, running in the other direction.\n\nCold hands grabbed me the shoulders. I screeched and kicked and punched but the hands overpowered me. \n\n\"Sir! We are here to help!\" shouted a man, letting me down on my feet. \n\n\"Thank you,\" I said, calming down. I took the moment to gather my breath, still feeling the cold from where the man had gripped me. \n\n\"What's the military doing here?\" I asked, after taking a closer look at his uniform. \n\nThe man sighed, even though his stony eyes betrayed no emotion. \n\n\"I'm going to break protocol and tell you the truth,\" he said. \n\nI nodded, after a pause. \n\n\"This world is coming to an end.\"\n\nHis eyes glowed a dark green, and a rumbling erupted from his chest. The man's flesh melted to reveal greasy, black scales underneath, and green liquid leaked from his mouth. Dark tendrils wrapped around me, lifting me up.\n\n\"And we will bring that end in a torrent of fire and fog!\" \n\nThe creature's voice was as rough as rubbing stone against stone. It threw me up into the air, and opened its giant maw, ready to swallow me whole.\n \n" ]	1
	[WP] We've seen plenty of galactic empires, give me a story about the forming of those empires.	[ "If only people could just stop all the fighting...if only they could understand that one and one make three, then wouldn't the galaxy be better? Wouldn't fewer children be made into orphans, fewer wives turned into widows, fewer families torn apart? If only all these people would just agree, then wouldn't things be better?\n\nOne man set out to have everyone agree. He'd mediate the debates, the fights, the disagreements, and he'd find the solution. There was always a compromise, he told himself. He promised the people of Ganymede a great compromise with the other moons of Jupiter. He'd end the war and usher in peace. And so they elected him. \n\nBut nobody could remember who started the war. Who should be punished for all the deaths? Surely someone. Each side blamed the other. What was he to do? The only fair thing would be to compromise, he thought. Something everyone can agree to. IF that means they need someone else to hate, so be it. He blamed the war on the Centauri System. Spies, he claimed, from their planets instigated the decade long conflict between Ganymede and the lesser Galilean moons. \n\nAnd so a punitive campaign was launched. Full-scale war broke out between the Solar System and the Centauri System. Another decade passed, and finally a man of compromise was twisted into a man of steel. To rule so many different types of people, they needed one thing and only one thing -- to fear disagreement. To disagree was to disagree with the man of steel. That was punishable by execution of one's entire lineage.\n\nAnd so a great peace was flooded throughout the galaxy. The man of steel became a conqueror, and he marched across the galaxy. If a system did not agree to peace, they agreed to war. And that was simply fuel for his legions. Children were taught to never argue at a young age. What the emperor said was correct. That was all that one ever needed to understand. \n\nMany years passed by. As the last few bastions of resistance fell, the conqueror sat bedridden, riddled with tubes pumping various liquids and gels into his half-dead corpse-body. He sat alone in his enormous chamber, with but an android to handle any of his wishes. He paused this android one morning. \n\n\"Did I do the right thing?\" the conqueror asked the android. \n\nThe android turned around and looked at the emperor of a thousand systems with a puzzled look. \n\n\"It is in my core programming to assume everything the emperor does is right. The question doesn't make sense.\" \n\nThe old, frail man cried. He'd sacrificed his entire life for the mission of galactic peace. But he knew as soon as he died, it would all fall apart. \n\n\"Do not worry,\" the android spoke. \"The people of the galaxy are united. They are united in their hatred of you.\"\n\nWith that the emperor smiled, and passed into the beyond. " ]	1
	[WP] You have come so close to dying so many times that you've met Death that many times. So much so, that you've made quite a close relationship with Death.	[ "I mustn't stop now. Cycling harder, I can see a blur of rails along the road. The sharp sting in my thigh has now become a dull pain. Omnipresent, there all the time, going unnoticed. Harder. Harder. My palms are sweating profusely, but my grip on the handlebars increase, the rubber used must've been tested for loads far more than this, yet I can feel it squirming like a worm under my palms. No one has emerged out of the tunnel. Mustn't let my concentration stray, must push myself. The curve of my back almost straight for a few hours.\nI go into the turn with a swing. And then, blindness. A screech. The sound of broken glass? Crunching of metal. My vision comes and goes. Flashes, groping the air round me. Liquid on my hands. Red. Bright red. The pain in the thigh isn't tell anymore, a searing of the flesh.\n\nSo, this is it then. The last time into the abyss. This time, there's nothing pulling me back.\nI can feel a smile forming on my face, a strange smile, crooked, ungodly.\n\nI can see him now. \n\nThat face. I can see it in my dreams, the flashbacks.\nThat face, that I can never seem to place.\nThat face, that feels so familiar, but distant.\n\n\nMurky, yet stark.\n\nHello, old friend.", "Empty bottle of pills. Soft, warm bed. Silence. \n\nA long, deafening silence. \n\nDarkness.\n\nI used to be bothered by the silence and the lack of light. During the first time, I actually cried. Now, I barely even notice. \n\nWhen you get used to experiencing something, it starts feeling like a routine. You pay less attention every time. I honestly can’t care less about the transition from the world of the living to The Black. What I’m looking forward to see is Morty. \n\nI remember the first time like it was yesterday. The first time I’ve been to The Black. The first time I met him. \n\nCar accident.\n I was eight years old. Sitting on the front seat of the car, singing along to songs with my dad. The truck came out of nowhere. Then, the sound of shattering glass. Next came a searing pain all throughout my body. Then, there was nothingness. \n\nI opened my eyes and saw nothing. Absolute darkness. I heard nothing. Absolute silence.\n Then, I began crying. \nI had been sobbing for an hour or so, when I heard footsteps. I saw a man. More like a teenager, really. \nWith skin so fair it seemed to glow amidst the surrounding darkness. His hair had a warm radiance like the small flame on a candle. \nHe had this empty look on his face. I think he might actually be great at playing poker in the world of the living. \t\n\nI asked him who he was, he said nothing. \nI asked him where I was, he said nothing. \nI asked him where my dad was, he said nothing. \nI asked him if I was dead, he said nothing. \nHe walked next to me in the darkness, all while saying nothing. \nAfter hours of walking, he stopped. He grabbed what seemed like a doorknob that wasn’t visible to me. \n\n“Please go.” He says in a cold, emotionless voice. \n“Who are you?” I asked him again.\n \nHe just stood there staring at me for what felt like an eternity. I participated in his staring contest and made no move indicating that I would be departing anytime soon. \n“Morté.” He finally spoke. \n“Morty?” \n“No, Morté.”\n“Morty.” \n“Morté. Latin word for death.” \n“I like Morty better.”\n“Get out, kid.”\n“Okay, Morty. See you later.” \nHe scoffed. \nA few moments later, I woke up in a hospital bed. Apparently, I survived. My dad didn’t. \n\nThe following year, I was diagnosed with Angiosarcoma of the heart. A rare kind of cancer. \n6 months after that, I met Morty again. \nThe same thing happened. Darkness. Silence. Morty came in. I ask him questions. He remains silent. \nThat was until I asked him where I was. \n“This place is called “The Black”” \n“Jeez. Is that because everything is black in here?” \nFor the first time, he smiled at me. \n“Maybe.” He shrugged. \nThat day, or night, I learned about how The Black works out. \n“The Black is like the fine line that separates life and death. Either you get out of here to go back to the world of the living or you don’t.” \n“Well, how do we know if we go back or not?”\n“That’s my job. The boss texts me to tell me where the person goes.”\n“And I go where?”\nHe turns the invisible doorknob again. \n“Back.” \nI woke up to my Mom sobbing and holding me.\nThe next time we met, he was more enthusiastic. \n“Hey, let me show you something cool.” \nHe snaps his fingers and the entire place transforms into a black-and-white replica of the world of the living. \n He took me to copy of a coffee shop that I love. We sipped tasteless coffee and pretended to enjoy it as much as we enjoyed each other’s company. \nWe laughed. I told him about what it was like in the world of the living. He particularly loved talking about malls. His eyes would light up when I began talking about it. \n“Were you ever alive, Morty?” \nHis smile quickly faded. \n“I don’t know.” \nHe snaps his fingers and the black-and-white world disappears.\n“Go, Alice. You have to go.” \nThat was the last time I saw him. \n\nBut I was determined to see him again, and ingesting 60 sleeping pills was the easiest way of doing it. \n\nAfter about an hour of being in complete silence and darkness, he comes in through a door that instantaneously disappears after he closes it. He always wears black. Black sneakers, black pants, and a black t-shirt underneath a black jacket. It would be hard to see him in the Black if not for his pale skin, and his grey ash-colored hair. Maybe today I’d ask him if all his clothes are black, or if he’s been wearing the same outfit ever since we first met. \n\nHe approaches me with an expressionless face. \n“Hi, Morty!” \nHis face breaks into a smile, takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulder. Right. I was too distracted staring at him that I forgot how cold it was in The Black. \n“Another pulmonary embolism?” he asks, walking ahead of me. \n“No.” I mumble in response. He stops and turns to face me, one eyebrow raised in question. \n“I took 60 sleeping pills.” \nHe tilts his head to the left, and stares at me like I’m an object of interest. \n“You never fail to fascinate me, Alice.” He says as he messes up my hair. \nHe snaps his fingers. A replica of my city appears before us. He starts walking ahead of me again. This time,we were in the street where my childhood house had been. \n“Hey, I remember this street! I grew up here. There was a really loud kid that lived next door. She always wore bright colors and had the coolest toys. She was great, I just can’t remember her name.” \n“Caroline.” \n“Yes! That’s it! Caroline.” \n\nWe keep walking. \n\n“There’s an ice cream place right around this corner. They have the best tasting cookies and cream ice cream in the city.” \nTrue enough, it was there. Just as I remember it. Except it was black and white. We had our ice cream and sat on the table by the front window. \nHe was more silent than usual, so I spoke in between shoving tasteless spoonfuls of ice cream in my mouth.\n“I probably never mentioned this before, but I think it’s really cool that I can go back and forth in The Black and the world of the living.” \n“You do know you can’t keep doing that forever, right?”\n“Well, that’s what always happens. I get here, we talk, we walk and you turn the doorknob and I’m back.”\n“Not this time, Alice.”\n“What do you mean?”\n \nFirst, the ice cream vanished. Next, the ice cream shop. The entire city followed, melting before my eyes. Like the pretend ice cream I was eating just a minute ago.\n \nHe leaned forward and kissed my forehead. He smiled and ruffled my hair, in that exact way that only he does.\n \nThen darkness swallowed him whole. \n\nI was alone in the nothingness once again. \n", "I awake to the rotting stench of corpses filling up the void around me. There is nothing around, just a vague figure blended into the background.\n\n\"Yo.\" The figure waves a hand, pulling up into a seat.\n \n\"Heeey, Death.\" I shift back and forth on my feet. \"It's me, again.\"\n\n\"Damnit Paul, I told you to be careful.\" Death grumbles while pointing towards another chair. \"Sit, sit.\"\n\nI take a seat as Death conjures up a table between us. At least, that's what I think is happening, I'm not quite sure how it works. Better not think about it.\n\n\"Tea again?\" A black kettle appears.\n\n\"Sure, Sure.\" \n\nDeath sighs deeply, and a most horrific smell appeared. \"Need a recap for this one?\" Maybe I could get some mouthwash, as a gift. Everyone loves gifts.\n\n\"Haha yeah, it's all a bit fuzzy.\" Mint flavoured? Does Death even have a mouth?\n\n\"You drank your feelings away again, and choked, on your own vomit. Again.\" Death gulps down the tea in one breath.\n\n\"Mhm, yep.\" He can drink the tea so mouthwash would work, it is Christmas afterall. \"You make the best tea by the way.\"\n \n\"Too bad they got to you in time.\"\n\n\"Aww, don't worry, I'll come by every now and again.\" Death is so sweet, I should really visit more often.\n\n\"...Nevermind\" Oooh Death is soo cute when acting all shy.\n\n\"Well, how did the date go?\" I wonder if it went well. \"Hey, hey, tell me about it.\" Of course it did, Death did have my advice.\n\n\"...looks like it's time.\" The furniture disappears.\n\nMust be the breath. Mouthwash. Some floss too?\n\n\"Well see you later, I'll bring gifts next time.\" Can't forget alcohol for the breakups.\n\n\"Go away.\"", "a flash of light\n\n\"What happened this time don?\" Lucifer asked as I stepped into the room. \n\n\"Same as last time, erectile disfunction.\" I said half heartedly taking a seat on a worn leather couch. \n\nThe devil, or Lucifer for me cause we're on a first name basis, stood across from me. Honestly he's not that scary looking, apart from the two horns jutting from his head he looks like a normal human man. \n\n\"I told you to take viagra, Angie and I have benefitted quite a lot ever since I started. I mean talk about going from 0-100 real quick.\" Lucifer said jokingly as he poured coffee into a cup. \n\nFinishing the pouring, Lucifer walked over and placed the cup in front of me. \"Drink, you'll be back in around a minute.\"\n\n\"Well no shit, I'm the fucking president it's probally a national emergency by now.\" I spat out. As I took a sip of my coffee a timer dinged on the side of lucífer's desk. \n\n\"Well Don, see you next Tuesday at five, looks like that one is going to be rough.\" Lucifer grimly said.\n\n\"Really, I'm a tough guy I mean come on look at these hands.\" I said raising my big ass hands to lucifers face. \"Anyways, mealania must be getting lonely, I'll try out that viagra as soon as I get back. Make sure you don't go missing luc.\"\n\nI walked over to the door and flung it open as I was engulfed in light I heard Lucifer saying \"about as missing as hillarys emails.\"", "\"I'm flattered.\" right after I got hit by a huge truck, a male figure with black wings entered my field of vision.\n\n\"Handsome as always, Azrael.\" I stood up, ignoring my broken body. \"May I ask, what in this humble human's act that flatter you?\"\n\n\"Never before a human took the phrase 'flirting with death' quite literally like you, Miss Reinia.\" Azrael smiled. \"Well, it's not like I dislike your attention. So, this is third time this month, how long do you plan to stay?\"\n\nI laughed sourly \"You know full well that no matter how much I like your company, I won't let myself got hit by a truck intentionally.\"\n\n\"There's no way to know if it's you, Reinia.\" a tinge of mischief glittered in his eyes. \"So, care to join me for an evening tea?\"\n\n\"It's exactly noon though.\"\n\n\"Who cares? This place has no time, after all.\"\n\nI followed him into one of the open doors, it was supposed to be a small cafe, but the interior was far larger than the exterior permits. \"One of the perks of being Death's best friend.\" I muttered unconsciously, gaining his attention.\n\n\"Having an inflatable cafe?\"\n\n\"Having no competition would be more appropriate.\" his laugh filled the white marble chamber.\n\n\"Trust me, I'm quite popular in the another world.\"\n\n\"True, everyone in the underworld should've seen you at least once.\"\n\n\"Another joke you could only say to Death.\" we both sipped on our tea, and for a while only silence ensues.\n\n\"Even so, it's a truck this time, huh. Must be in the top ten of my painful experience.\"\n\n\"Out of curiosity, what is the number one painful experience you had?\"\n\n\"Every single second I spend separated from you.\" I smirked, Azrael scratched his head.\n\n\"Well, imagine how painful would it be when your death actually come.\"\n\n\"Ah...\" that's right, this white world isn't the Realm of Death, but merely the closest part where the World of the Living and the Realm of Death intersect, the place souls have to pass after dying.\n\n\"I'm sorry, that was in a bad taste.\" Azrael fidgeted.\n\n\"No problem.\" I sipped my tea agan.\n\n\"Say, Reinia?\"\n\n\"Yes?\"\n\n\"If you could stay here forever, would you discard everything in your world?\"\n\nI startled \"That... I can't answer that question... I'm sorry, Azrael. That question is not one I could answer.\"\n\n\"But why?\"\n\n\"Azrael...\"\n\n\"I thought we loved each other, I thought even if you don't plan it, you actually wish we could meet again, I thought that even if it's painful, as long as you could be in my side...\"\n\nHe fell silent.\n\n\"Death. It's not your name that I feared, nor the being that you are, nor the inevitability of your arrival.\"\n\n\"I'll return you to your body. It might be a bit painful, but your condition has stabilized.\"\n\n\"Wait! Listen, it's not because of you that I cannot answer your question.\"\n\n\"Death should have no business with those that still have the will to live. Death has no right to detain souls that destined to live on. Death should never...\" a tears dropped from my eyes as I embraced his being.\n\n\"It's not because I don't love you, that I cannot remain in this world...\"\n\n\"Death should never let itself fall in love with beings it cannot reach.\" a bright light blinded my eyes as I woke up in the hospital room.\n\n\"You're wrong.\" I whispered. \"It was I who never deserves to fall in love with you.\" tears flowed through my scarred face.\n\nIn a realm neither of the Death nor the Living, a black-winged being floats in the emptiness.\n\n\"I should have never shown myself in front of you.\" it whispered, its black wings expanded to fill the vast whiteness.", "When he sees me he double checks his list. It's as if he thinks he's made a mistake when we both know he hasn't. \n\nGood ol Grimmy scratches at his jaw bone with a particularly pointy white finger. He doesn't stop to exchange pleasantries like he did the first few mishaps. There's no need to console me anymore. I'm used to it.\n\nThat old reaper releases a big and heavy sigh before using his foot to nudge my barley breathing body. \n\nThis is a close call, I note as my apparition-y self leans over the youthful lady. \n\n\"What happened this time?\" Grimm asks impatiently \n\n\"Oh, just another suicide attempt.\"\n\nDon't ask me how I can tell when a skeleton is annoyed, I just can- and Grimm is pissed, \"Why, Jodie?\"\n\n\"Well, I wanted to see you.\"\n\nIf that reaper had eyes, I know he'd be rolling them, \"We can't keep doing this Jodie.\"\n\n\"Oh, come on!\" I plead, \"I'm only asking for you to set time back by two hours.\"\n\n\"Look, the first few times I set time back for you to correct a mistake, it was no biggie, but my superiors are riding my ass.\"\n\nA sense of dread fills my being. In hopes of 'persuading' him otherwise, I bat my lashes like a child asking their parents for an allowance raise, \"So don't tell! It can be our secret, yeah?\"\n\nThere's a glint of pity in his empty sockets, but he shakes it away quickly, \"No, no, no! Don't you pull those puppy dog eyes on me! What do you even need those two hours for?\"\n\n\"Now, you know I just started working at my dream job-\"\n\n\"So?\"\n\n\"Well, I sleep through my alarm a lot Nd they told me that if I was late again-\"\n\n\"For Christ sake Jodie!\"\n\n\"So, what do you say?\"\n\n\"Jesus...\" Grimm pulls his black satin hood over his face, \"You know what? No. You're nuts.\"\n\n\"But Grimm!\" I cry, \"What will I do?!\"\n\nHe gives a dry laugh, \"Well by the looks of it, you'll be in the ICU for a few days, so I'd start by explaining that to your boss.\"\n\n\"Mean!\" I stick out my tongue, but it doesn't phase him. Then it hits me, \"Oh my gosh! They won't fire me if I have a real excuse!\" I frantically motion to my corpse, \"And I do!\"\n\nGrimm grows quiet, but only momentarily, \"Okay Jodie. Whatever you say kid.\" He turns to leave but stops himself, \"If you try to kill your self again I'm going to make sure you get reincarnated as a worm.\"\n\n\"Kay!\" I wave dismissively and climb back into my body as the sound of sirens approaches. \n\nNo work today. Not for this girl!" ]	6
	[WP] Mordok the Skull-Cruncher learns the true meaning of Christmas, leaving hundreds dead and thousands injured along the way.	[ "Rows of steel glittered in the early morning dawn, their sparkling carapaces a stark contrast to the brownish matte of the scorched earth beneath them. Their occupants were giants of men – the Porchuzzie way of life as marauding pillagers had ensured that only the fittest, strongest specimens survived long enough to breed.\n\nA heavy thud fell in the distance, and then another. It was as if the earth itself was being played as a war drum. As the beat grew closer, each man stiffened and turned his head just slightly, confirming what they knew to be true.\n\nThough the sun had risen enough to coat the ravaged dirt field, it seemed to pay especial attention to the approaching figure. Twice the size of a large bison and with more hair than skin, he sat atop a massive, lumbering creature that resembled an oversized yellow lizard; rumor stood that he acquired it, along with his stature, from a Faustian bargain with a Devil spawn. As he grew closer, the very ground seemed to shake beneath.\n\n“Men! Soldiers! Porchuzzies!” It was less a voice than a deep, rumbling bass that ripped through the air like waves over a sandcastle. The lizard turned its snout down and huffed, sending up clouds of dust.\n\n“On this most fortuitous Christmas Eve, we are blessed to bring the fiery destruction of our glorious people onto the meek, helpless denizens of Simpleville. Their impending doom is not only a celebration of our unmatched prowess as rapists and pillagers, but a redemption of their own weak spirits as they are cleansed by blood!”\n\nRaucous cheers fell down the ranks of soldiers. Spears and swords were raised gleefully in the air, and chants of “Ooh, ahh!” broke out.\n\n“The Porchuzzie are a proud breed. A strong breed. Since our exile from the Hummus lands for excessive flatulence and orifice hair, we have honed our brethren into a well-oiled machine of violence and cruelty. I, Mordok the Skull Crushed, so named for the damage suffered to my person by my schizophrenic father before I strangled him with his own entrails, have led you through countless conquests, bloodbaths, and scary things that go ‘bump’ in the night.”\n\nMordok paused, pulling his reigns and bucking upward on the lizard. “Now, men – ride with me – to wanton destruction, needless suffering, and glorious goodies!”\n\n&nbsp;\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n&nbsp;\n\nMordok lay sprawled across a faded oak dining table. It creaked and groaned pleadingly under his weight, and though meant to seat and serve at least 50 people, barely managed to contain his figure as the trunks of hair serving as his legs drooped off the far end.\n\nA soft knock came from the dining hall’s entrance\n\n“Come in!” Mordok bellowed.\n\nThe door opened slowly and a naked man walked in, peering around the table’s side and catching Mordok’s right eye.\n\n“Beg pardon, sir, but I was wondering if…”\n\n“Oh, Captain Kump, it’s you.” Mordok drawled. “I see you’ve already had your fair share of raping. Are they an agreeable bunch? I’ve heard these Simpletons are just ever such pushovers.”\n\n“Ah, yes sir. Quite the good time the boys and I are having. Tip top, actually.”\n\n“Good to hear it, soldier. It’s well earned! The fortitude you blokes showed by stampeding over all these helpless, unarmed villagers – well – many lesser men would have let pity, guilt, or other emotions get in the way. But you persevered through!”\n\nCaptain Kump’s pivoted on his heels as hands fell behind his back. “Why, thank you, sir,” he stammered, blushing slightly. “It truly was an honor to follow you into defenseless slaughter, as always.”\n\nMordok nodded sideways, rubbing his cheek against the table.\n\n“Forgive me, sir, but the men and I are a bit concerned. You’ve been holed up here since last night, eschewing all company. Why, you didn’t even partake in the traditional ‘First Torture of the Weakest Child’ ceremony!”\n\nMordok sighed – a deep, gusty wind that blew over several large chalices and a plate with pheasant bones. “Captain Kump, can I ask you something, just between you and me?”\n\nThe captain snapped to attention. “Why yes, sir! Anything, sir!”\n\nWith great effort, Mordok heaved himself into a sitting position, resting the fuzzy slippers that served as his feet on the sidelong bench and turning with an unsteady sway toward Kump.\n\n“Is this all there is?” he growled baldly.\n\n“I bet pardon, sir?”\n\n“The tearing of limbs. The chopping of heads. The ruining of lives, dignity and all that is sacred in the world. Don’t get me wrong – it’s amazing – but…is there anything more to life?”\n\nKump frowned, furrowing his brow. “Well, sir. There is also the crushing of happiness, instilling of deep, eternal despair, and the wanton destruction of thousands of years of culture and…”\n\n“But what else?” bellowed Mordok. “I have a hole in me, Kump, and I’m not talking about the one you guys drilled through my septum as a practical joke last Fall. “I feel that something is missing in my life, and it’s tearing me apart!”\n\n“It must be our fault, General. We are being lax with the prisoners and slaves. From now on, each will receive beatings every 10 minutes instead of…”\n\n“No, no!” shouted Mordok. “What I’m trying to say is…could there be something beyond the necessitation of human suffering? A greater purpose?”\n\n“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, sir,” Kump replied, cocking his head slightly.\n\n“Do you remember the village we razed last Christmas, Captain? The one with all the decorated trees and presents underneath them?\n\nKump chuckled heartily. “Why yes, sir! We had a grand time burning each child next to their gift and betting on which one would melt first. I won almost 500 Gold Death Tokens that day!”\n\n“Ah yes, fond memories,” said Mordok. “But did you notice how happy everyone was, before we made them the opposite of that? They seemed to find great joy in the act of giving.”\n\n“I’m afraid I still don’t understand, General.”\n\n“That’s fine, Kump, because I think I do. Gather the men, some animal skins and twine, and the saddest, most agreeable slaves you can find. We are going to have a proper Christmas this year!”" ]	1
	[WP] This year, instead of coal, Santa outsources his Naughty List to a Mr. Castle, aka The Punisher.	[ "Breathing out slowly Frank stared at the wall of mob hits he had achieved in the year that had passed. \" So Père Noël sent over to his work? That's what you want me to believe and that this... naughty list is something he needs me to take care of hm?\". Muffled sobbing from a bound and gagged elf laying on the ground strapped to a mostly broken wooden chair. \"Do you think what I do is a joke huh? Do you? There are kids on this list you gave me!\" The elf shrieked through the gag and shook his head trying to indicate to his pocket. Frank squatted in front of the stricken creature and cut open the breast pocket pulling out a second list of names of addresses most Frank was aware of but had yet to track. \"Wilson Fisk? you folks know where that monster is hiding that massive head of his. probably should have led with that in the first place\" Frank cut the Elf free and pulled him up onto his feet. Pointing at an intact chair with the bowie knife Frank bid the elf to sit down while he went to the pantry and pulled out two glasses and a bottle of Bourbon. Pouring the drinks Frank sat down and offered a glass to the Elf \"You shouldn't have snuck in here like you did, there are channels you should have used to get my attention. Surely you knew breaking in would lead to you getting messed up.\" The Elf shrugged and dabbed the liquor into the cuts under his eye \"We try to keep away from your kind\" he coughed some blood up raggedly \"I usually fit out the Sleigh not solicit the services vigilantes so I'm sorry I am not super clear on the protocol and that I was the first one Santa saw when he came up with this idea.\" punctuating the end of his sentence by spitting a tooth out into an ash tray. \n\nIt had eventuated that Santa spent the years previous watching as the people in the world were beset by the woe of villains and criminals. Unfair inequity led more in crimes and naughtiness. Usual methods of coal would dissuade those on their pillars of powers and so Santa decided a more righteous path would be required. However none in the North Pole had the skills, drive or mentality to slay the wicked they would need one specialised. \n\n\"what...do I get out of this arrangement?\" Frank queried. \"Seriously Castle? you didn't think at least once this year 'for Christmas this year I would like to kill the wicked criminals I have been chasing all this time and smash it out really quickly' not once? Because I am telling you now that you did and Santa's gift to you is to facilitate your crusade\". \n\nSighing at the list Frank couldn't help but agree, after all the things that had been happening these days between super powers and Aliens meeting an Elf from Santa with a hitlist for the Christmas season was pretty tame. \n\n\"fuck it I'm in. I'll be invoicing you bastards my expenses\" \n\n\n" ]	1
[Where I got the idea from](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5k7jv7/whats_something_about_being_an_adult_that_didnt/dblyt5j/)	[WP] Every adult is forced to watch government-made news broadcasts once a day.	[ "\"Seth... Mitchell. Informational saturation at... levels... 78% and dropping. Negative... cortex feedback. Dopamine levels... insufficient... for... optimal performance. Adrenal loop... compromised\".\n\nSeth squirmed in his seat. He squinted at his reflection in the massive glass panel, his window to an array of robotic manipulators as they performed their off-white, sterile ballet. The voice in his head, cold and measured like the calculated moves of the assembly line, nagged at Seth's innards. He blinked, trying to remember how life was before the RMC was crammed under his skull, but the memory evaded him, slipping like sand between stiff fingers.\n\n\"Seth... Mitchell. Informational saturation levels... dropping. Action is advised before... data stream to... your local supervising... unit\".\n\nAction, action. Right. No action led to questions and the worst migraine anyone could endure. He had to watch the news. Tyrone Selsby and the Hot Report. Maybe CNN? Maybe. Anything.\n\nKeeping an eye on the line, Seth flipped out his padbook, sliding his finger down to choose the broadcast app. It came pre-installed, a dozen of clone-like infosaturation helpers designed to keep him informed on the world. Because, how could a citizen of the USA make a balanced democratic decision if he was ignorant? Ignorance dropped serotonin and dopamine, and lack of patriotic adrenal surges, monitored by the Responsiveness Monitoring Chip, could lead to uncomfortable questions from both his employer and the NSA.\n\nThe face of the show host practically glowed with emotion, with professional grief and condemnation.\n\n\"... our reporters in Taiwan became witnesses to the horrific genocide carried out by the Chinese army against civilians. Secretary of State Kyle Denton condemned the attack, promising the Taiwanese rebellion a swift and assured support from the US military, including a tactical nuclear strike on Beijing provinces if the Chinese army doesn't back down from its aggression...\"\n\nSeth's mouth went dry. He had a faint recollection, that the month prior, the situation was different, but he couldn't remember how exactly. Like a piece of food caught between teeth, this being on the cusp of the important memory seemed to drive him mad, until a blazing, sharp pang of pain cleared out all the doubt, allowing him to focus on the really important matters that Hot Report was committed to highlight.\n\nDead bodies, smoke and blood, through the lens of a drone swarm, looked so real he could almost smell the burning flesh, nausea rising in the line manager's throat.\n\n\"Want to know more? Sign the form to support the Congress in providing military relief to the struggling, murdered innocents of Formosa. Your voice counts, citizen!\".\n\nOf course. Of course. Who didn't want the best for the average people, so they too, could have the choices of governments at their fingertips. Blinding fire spread through Seth's veins, his heartbeat going haywire as righteous anger at the dictators and killers, at terrorists and autocrats. Behind the glass, the robotic manipulators whirred, parts and motherboards assembling into drones, missles and robotic sentry platforms. Of course, he had to play his part. The news were there to help him.\n\nAll for freedom and truth in the world. Mitchell's fingers pressed to the screen, fingertip pattern loading to cast an informed vote.\n\nSeconds later, he was vomiting into the bucket under his desk.\n\nChoices never came easy these days." ]	1
	[WP] After a long hard night of partying celebrating the new year 2017, you wake up in the morning only to find out it is January 1, 2016 again.	[ "The incendiary round went into the chamber as though it was supposed to be there, fit snugly in front of the firing mechanism. \n\nThe first few years, no one listened to me. No one believed me. It was like Groundhog Day, just so very much worse. January first, the first time, I changed nothing. Nothing could be as bad as my nightmare. The experience I woke from, that January first. The first time.\n\nI've killed him so many times. I've spent so many collective years in jail, and that I deserve every second I've spent there, and many million more. I know the depths of my soul, the dark far outweighs the light. The things I've done to him, his wives, children. I loathe thinking about it, but at the time, each act of depravity seemed absolutely necessary. \n\nIt doesn't help. People feel sorry for the son, for Pence, for whomever. Maybe that isn't the event. Maybe there isn't an event. Maybe I'm stuck in this loop for eternity. \n\nI sight in on my target. Time to make a different play. \n\nI know what you are thinking. I've already plastered Hillary's brains on so many walls. Her white dresses just don't look the same with a hole in the material, usually chest height. It does nothing to change the course of events. \n\nI wait for the blimps Trump hired to pass my chosen strike point. \n\nTime. I thought it was my enemy. I spent many years drunk, there just was no way out I could see. One January first, I awoke with purpose. I'd made it to April, just. I knew that a purposeless existence would have driven me mad, eventually. \n\nPerhaps it already had. I thought, as I readied the consoles. \n\nI hold zero degrees. I've attended some of the best colleges in the world, learning from the most advanced programs. I am asked, from time to time, where I learned everything. I spout some nonsensical bullshit about YouTube, or an online academy. You cannot fake knowledge in some of the more advanced fields I've spent decades mastering.\n\nI've built the apparatus I now use, safe and secure, far from discovery. I may have experience being imprisoned, but I don't like it.\n\nThe targets are moving towards the intended field of fire. My fingers start to shake. Anticipation. Adrenaline. Fear. This has taken so long to set up. The entire year, almost, for everything to fall in line.\n\nThe button turns bright green for just a moment; I'd taped it down upon building it, on the off chance someone wanted to make a superhero save at the last second. \n\nI pointed the large-bore rifle at the door. They always come in through the door. I don't know how they find me. Layers of firewalls, layers of steel, bouncing signals off satellite after satellite. They always find me. I'm not going down easy, this time." ]	1
	[WP] It is a Utopian future where everyones needs are perfectly met and people are always happy. There is a new street drug people want to take which promises to make people depressed, in pain, and lonely for 2 hours a hit.	[ "Jason stepped out of his 2315 Charger and looked at the scene before him. Nothing out of the ordinary, 1219 Stanley Gault Drive. Typical two story house, standard size for the average working family of four. Typical white paint, two large trees, beautiful plant decorations to outline windows… all standard fare. \n\nAshley steps out of the passenger seat, “So… the code was an automated noise complaint exceeding 130dB from this house. Don’t hear anything now, though.”\n\nJason nodded his head, “I was hoping it would be the teenage kid throwing a party, as they’re expected to around this time.” Jason took out his tablet and scrolled down to the address they responded to, “Mother and Father are both out on business trips… youngest son is at a friend’s house… this would be the ideal setting for a party to be thrown.”\n\n“I remember my house party.” Ashley grinned a bit, “It was a ton of fun. Glad I had it.”\n\nJason agreed, “My dad was a cop so he was the one to bust me on that one. He got a slight reprimand from the Ethics Council for being perhaps a little too harsh on me. There wasn’t any investigation, as it was a father scolding his son.” They both approached the front door and followed standard procedure: stand to the right, knock on the door. “This is the Police, we’re responding to a noise complaint.” The waited patiently, but there was no response, “this is the police, or we will exercise the Utopian Police Act, Section Four, Article Seven point Eleven, B.” They waited, “Final warning as dictated by the Act…” one more knock and nothing. The pair of officers flash their badges at the camera and the front door unlocks as they step inside. \n\nHouse is immaculate and a few machines are doing last minute touchups to keep the place spotless. The cleaning utilities are avoiding the officers entirely so as not to interfere with their work… but the house is dead silent aside from the moving electronics that are working tirelessly. The silence was enough to send Jason into a small panic. “Ashley, I’m exercising UPA Section Three. Draw and set to stun.”\n\n“Jason, with all due respect, there is no reason to use that. That section was made before the-“\n\n“I understand, but something is amiss here. As your FTO, do as I say.” Ashley draws her weapon and sets it to stun as instructed by Jason. “Stay on me, let’s head upstairs to the teenagers room, make sure she’s okay.”\n\n“Sir, need I remind you that the Privacy Act states-“\n\n“Ashley, UPA Section Four that we just used to get in nullifies the Privacy Act. Do well to remember that.” She was immediately silenced as they went upstairs. They moved along the stairs exercising extreme caution that was rarely used for these calls these days. They approached the daughter’s room and the door was closed… unusual. Most teenagers these days didn’t practice the isolation for privacy in the room these days… that was more than enough to justify the UPA Section Three. He knocked on the door, “this is the police, please open your door Chelsea.” No response. They opened the door, and to their horror, there she was... “Son of a-“\n\nHe rushed over and checked for a pulse, and thankfully, she still had one, “Ashley, call it in. We need an Ambulance here. Code Three.” \n\nThere was blood… blood everywhere. More blood than he had seen. It offset the immaculate house he had just seen to a sickening degree. While Ashley called in the ambulance, he searched for the gun wound. “How did she even get a hold of a firearm… especially one without a SHS?!” \n\nThankfully, the girl didn’t properly know how a firearm worked… or where she would need to shoot herself to deliver a fatal wound… wait… he checked her wrists, “No…” there were noticeable scars, and recent cuts. He began to lift her shirt, and there was the bullet wound delivered to the stomach. He quickly reached into his first aid kit and grabbed the Foam Sealant, inserting the nozzle in and letting the rapid expanding foam seal off the wound. It should be enough to stabilize her… “Ashley, what’s the ETA on our ambulance?”\n\n“Two minutes.” \n\n“Good.” Jason moved the teenage girls shirt a bit more and wiped some blood away. Bruises. “Ashley, get over here. Here’s something you need to see.”\n\n“What is it? Aside from all the blood?” She was noticeably a little shaken. Blood wasn’t a common sight to the Police these days. Not in the large amounts they had witnessed just now. Jason took his finger and pointed to the girls wrists, the bruise, and the gunshot wound that was now filled with hardened foam. “Okay..? What about it?”\n\n“I’m not sure if you were briefed, but there’s a now drug on the street… it’s a steroid version of depressants called Drowned Luck.”\n\n“Drowned… Luck?”\n\n“In times way passed, there used to be a serious Black Market for illegal drugs. Heroine… Cocaine… Meth… Drowned Luck is the newest drug. First one we’ve seen in fifty years.”\n\n“Okay. But how does that relate to the horrible shape she’s in?”\n\n“Drowned Luck lets you experience pain. Depression. Sadness. Something we’ve tried to rid ourselves of since the dawn of time.” The ambulance showed up and took the girl away on a stretcher, they could hear a few words in passing and it was all good things. She was more than likely going to live. “I don’t know why people are actively seeking this. Maybe to say they’ve experienced something no one else has. Doctors don’t know why people are repeat users,” Jason opens a drawer, showing Ashley multiple empty syringes, “but for some reason people crave this stuff.”\n\nAshley shook her head, “Why, though? I’ve heard what pain and sadness is… I’ve even gotten cuts and scrapes during training. I don’t like it. Why would people actively seek it?”\n\nJason could only shrug, “My job is to train you on things you’re going to see when you’re on your own. Not answer why people do what they do.” They started to leave the house as other more specialized workers appeared on scene, “now we’ve got some serious paperwork to do.” Ashley groaned, and got a small chuckle out of Jason.\n\nLater that night, Jason was watching a typical comedy. One he had probably seen more times than he cared to admit. He had used to live in a couple’s apartment with his wife… but she had died a few months back. Because of her death he was moved into a studio apartment. “It’s been a few months.” He sighed, and walked over to his nightstand picking up the old picture of their wedding day. “It’s been a few months and still… I don’t feel anything. There’s something missing.”\n\nHe loved her, after all. He was happy with her, and he wanted to spend his life with her. However, sickness overcame her and she died. It was expected, and she wasn’t supposed to marry due to the likelihood of her untimely death. They ignored it and fate played them as harshly as it could. He wanted to miss her, but his body was incapable. He felt like there was a whole piece of him missing. It didn’t make sense… how could someone say they loved someone, if they didn’t feel sad when they were gone forever? He placed the frame down and opened up a drawer on the dresser nearby. A syringe and a vial filled of the drug he warned Ashley about… Drowned Luck. He hadn’t used it… not yet. “I don’t want to feel sad.” He muttered to himself, “or depressed…” he picked up the vial and filled the syringe, “It just feels like I’m missing part of what it means to be human…” he injected himself.\n\n((This is my very first time on Reddit and first time typing to a prompt here. Hope it lives up to expectations.))", "I reached out and felt the warmth of my coffee waiting to be gently sipped. Jason's balcony always had this perfectly fresh smelling breeze in the morning. \n\n\"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying it could be insightful. That's all.\" I drank not because I was thirsty but because I wanted to stop talking.\n\n\"No, Trev, listen to me. You keep saying you're not glorifying depression but that's exactly what you'd be doing. My grandfather told us about what it was like to lay in bed and wonder where your next meal was coming from. He would take turns with his siblings passing the fucking cereal bowl around because there wasn't enough milk for all of them to have their own breakfast. We're lucky to be sitting here watching the sunrise and have homes to sleep in. You know in 2019 there were exactly zero houses purchased by people under 30? Debt got so bad that-\"\n\n\"I sat next to you in history J,\" I cut him off, he loved to rant and sunrise only lasted so long, \"I get that things used to be bad, I already said I'm not going to try to get the stuff so just drop it, okay?\" He looked at me with the same suspicious eyes that my mom would form while I explained that I wasn't interested in pursuing boxing while coming home with black eyes grew increasingly harder to explain. Everyone nowadays is so averse to pain, and I get it, but every once in a while I thought it might be nice to see what life would be like without a safety blanket.\n\n\"Just promise me you're going straight to Julie's after this, she wants you to see the dress before she buys it.\" He calmed himself down.\n\n\"Yes mum. And thank you ever so much for slaving over breakfast again.\" I put down my half full mug of coffee and I glanced at the poached eggs I hardly touched on the plate, the plate slowly contoured and folded itself over the food, I picked it up, gestured goodbye and smiled at him. He hated it when I called him mom but he couldn't ever argue against it. \n\nI drove in silence as I approached my exit. I knew my beautiful fiancé was at the bridal shop, waiting for me to tell her how pretty the dress she picked out was and how she decided my tie should match the flower arrangements. She was lovely and suffocating. I pulled over and looked at my windshield, the display said 40 minutes to arrival and that autopilot could do it in 15 on the proprietary driverless roads but driving was enjoyable, almost meditative, on the few leftover open roads. I swiped up on my watch to expand the display and put on the protected browser I illegally installed the other night. Safety be damned surveillance always rubbed me the wrong way. I knew what I wanted to order and how to find it, if there's one thing a perfect internet allows you it's freedom. I hovered my finger over the order command. The smiley face on the poorly designed site menacingly stared back at me. As soon as I gave in I heard the roar of an X17 drone immediately halt at my window. I opened it and the drone, now totally silent drifted in and slowly lowered a small metal ball into my palm. DTDA was neatly etched into the top. It left as soon as it came, practically disappearing from view instantly. I twisted it open in half and inside was a small flat smiley face. I lifted it out and turned it to the back. Instructions printed on said to place it on my tongue and let it dissolve, to find a quiet place alone to ensure my safety and that after 2 hours everything would return to perfect normality. As I laid it on my tongue the subtle sizzle excited my tastebuds. God I hope I didn't just make a huge mistake. \n\nI thought of Julie waiting for me, and of being in my car ready to turn around and what to send her as my excuse. I wondered why I felt the need to experience what was clearly to be avoided. I sat in my head for twenty minutes imagining what depression could possibly feel like. Would I just start crying? Would I stop liking my friends and family? Would I still like the taste of my leftover breakfast? As I sat and pondered I didn't feel anything coming on. Maybe I got a dud. Disappointed I started up the car and went on my way to the bridal shop. If I wasn't going to get to experiment today I might as well get my shit done. As I felt the propelling motion of the car at 200 miles per hour, one of my favorite feelings in the world, I began to feel a strange sensation pulling me down as well. I began to feel heavier and heavier, starting to hardly be able to hold onto the wheel. I slowly pushed my hand toward the autopilot but I couldn't get to it. I felt like gravity was warping just for me. My head was stuck up against the wheel, my eyes only peeking through the gap to see the windshield. Was this the drug? Maybe instead of a dud I got a faulty tab, should've looked for a better site. Overwhelming dread filled my body, I felt it spread from my chest to everywhere else, it pushed sweat out from my forehead. I hadn't sweat in years and here I was, foot stuck on the gas, dripping into my eyes. As I blinked to clear the sweat I saw a vision of my body in a dark room. My head was tilted to the side and blood poured from the corner of my mouth soaking me in it. My eyes were open but pitch black and as I opened my eyes my startled arms swung me into the side of the road. I smashed into the barrier and the car came to a heavy and complete stop. The seatbelt expanded and pulled me back into my seat. \n\nHow would I explain this? What if an officer drives by? Suddenly every possibility surged through my brain. I could be arrested and shipped off to prison. I would never see anyone I loved again. I didn't really know what happened to criminals, no one did, they just kind of disappeared. Julie would hate me forever and Jason would hate himself for not being able to stop me. As I raced through the worst possible scenarios I looked out of the windshield and found that I was stranded on the empty road without a soul in sight. I got out of my car to look around and the lush greenery that once boasted to my eyes looked like a grey mockery of what once was. The clear sky looked like fog now and my body began to catch up to the ache it knew it should be feeling. I listened for a police siren but heard nothing. \n\nI looked at the junk heap previously known as my car and wondered how I could be such an idiot. I knew I could be dumb but driving without expecting the drug to take time to hit may have set a new personal record. I heard the rumble of an engine halt behind me and I knew it was all over. I would be another propaganda story on the news about why messing with a perfect society would destroy everyone. I got on my knees and as I heard footsteps get closer, my life began to play out in front of my eyes, I loved Julie so much but I remembered my first crush, Katie. I couldn't claim she was the one that got away because I never actually asked her out. I only now realized that it wasn't because I thought she liked Johnny. I told myself he was going to capture her heart and they'd be happy together but really I just didn't think I deserved her. I remembered being approached by other girls for the dance and just simply pushing Katie out of my mind but now I know I wasn't going with the flow, I was running away from it. The footsteps seemed like they were taking an eternity to reach me. I remembered quitting the football team because the coach didn't pay attention to anyone but the quarterback, or was it because I thought I wasn't tall enough to be better than the other receivers? Every moment of doubt became clear, how I didn't see it sooner baffled me. Every decision I had ever made seemed clear at the time but now the tapestry of my psyche was revealing itself to me. I was a man who drifted through existence like everyone else but couldn't see what I was doing because it seemed like everything was good. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I was on my hands and knees now sweating with insight and dread at the same time. I saw a drop of sweat slowly drift towards the ground like a leaf, my final moment of freedom felt like it was the first moment of it. \n\n\"Sir?!\" Pain shot through my neck as the man shook me back to reality. \"Are you okay sir?\"\n\nI turned to see a young man and a truck behind him. \"I'm...\" I could hardly make out a sentence it felt like an eternity since I spoke to another human. \"I'm ok.\" I struggled to stand up.\n\n\"Are you sure? You look really bad. Please let me take you to the hospital.\" I could feel his hand shaking with fear as he held my arm.\n\nI put both of my hand on his shoulder and he flinched for a moment. \"I'm the best I've ever been in my entire life.\"\n\n\n", "Tony always prided himself on professionalism, and his iron stomach; but even he could feel the acid reach up and scratch his throat dry.\n\nShaking his head of the images, he pulled out a pack of regulation smokes. Re-designed to cause zero harm, but with the familiar effects of its original design. It took him a couple shaky tries before he had it lit. \n\n\"Have you ever seen anything like that?\" Burnes came out of the house, brow frowned deeply, and with an unshakeable grimace. Tony passed across his smoke. \n\n\"I don't understand it, Tony- no, I lie, the thrill of the pill, I get it... But to go the way that she went.\" Burnes inhaled deep, choking on the fumes for a second. \n\n\nHe didn't get it. None of them did; they just liked to feel some sort of connection to something ancestral.\n\n\nIt's not like the old days. People can't have excuses anymore. We are happy. We have to be. \n\nBut that's where they're mistaken. \n\nSome forget. This drug, this drive to be something other than happy. It's root was not materialistic, it was chemical. \n\nThey severed the link, upgraded our design and now we are trapped inside this cage of expectations. \n\n\nI wouldn't do what she did. Not that way. Mutilation isn't personal, it's dramatic; a God damn cry for help. She didn't want the pills but she needed them. That ghost of a chemical imbalance, repaired beyond belief- you wouldn't now be able to locate the area without the help of our ancestors research. \n\nTony reached into his pocket, cradling the small glass container. \n\n\nSometimes you just need a day. \n\n ", "It was one of those nights, you know, where the world comes crashing down upon you. \n\nIt was one of those nights where everything happens to you at once, and you don't have enough self to handle it all.\n\nIt was once of those nights, I want to say, but really, was it? Everything had been heading towards that point anyway. More like one of those weeks. Or years. Or lives. Yeah, mine was one of those lives.\n\n\"Meet me in the Aldi's lot,\" I'd said to Clint. He'd grunted in affirmation and hung up, leaving me to deal with myself alone. \n\nThere had been a girl involved. Yeah, typical, right? Girls: the source of all malcontent in an otherwise perfect world. We have enough science to bioengineer a defect-free puppy for every household and cure cancer's cancer, but the female mind remains a mystery to even the greatest of minds. \"It's almost as if they're more complex than blobs of cells.\" Yes, I realize this is true. But fuck it. Women.\n\nAnyway, Cindy was her name, and she was everything I'd ever wanted in a girl. Long, flowing hair, gorgeous blue eyes, one of those racks you could place your books on. What she saw in this loser, I don't know. Apparently, she didn't either, because she broke up with me without so much as a hint. Just a text out of the blue: \"I don't think I love you.\"\n\nBoom. Just like that. No fights, no signs, no nothing; just the cosmos aligning and forcing her thumbs to perform the motions to assemble that one sentence. Our relationship had been one note of nice, more coaster than roller, and then that happened, and my world collapsed. \n\nOr it should have. But it didn't.\n\nThere was something within me trying to break, but nothing gave way. I needed to do something, to care and to show it, but I couldn't so much as muster a sniffle. The more I struggled, the harder my stupor pushed back. Numbness fell over me like iron bars. \n\nDid that mean I hadn't loved her either?\n\nWhen I'd left my apartment, it was a nice night, as each one was nowadays, with a pleasant breeze and a clear, starlit sky. \"Good evening,\" a dog walker said to me in the parking lot. I nodded back. Had there ever been a bad evening? Had there ever been a good evening? \n\nIf ever was the time for calamity, it was now. What a sight it would be for the sky to open up and rain down hail and thunder and locusts on me as I walked. No such luck. The breeze stayed steady, the moon shone brightly, and I trudged the path out my neighborhood without any sort of fanfare.\n\nA jogger approached me going the other direction. She flashed me a smile as she passed. Pretty girl; I think I'd glimpsed her from time to time running down my street. I could easily chat her up and get her number. There were plenty of fish in the sea and so many means of compatibility nowadays. No standards, no hang-ups, just people and some good old fashioned loving.\n\nExcept in Cindy's case, apparently. What'd she have to get all snooty about? Why wasn't I good enough for her? I ought to hate her, to curse her name until the sound of my voice cracked the moon, to scrape my knuckles against the pavement and bleed because of what she did to me. But in myself, I found no longing to accompany the inclination. Her name dropped from my lips flat and lifeless, like a word in a spelling bee. Cindy. The girl who broke up with me. Cindy. C-I-N-D-Y.\n\nClint's footsteps jolted me out of my thoughts. \"Got the money?\" he asked.\n\nHe held open the bag, and though I couldn't make much of anything out, I could certainly smell it. It stank of sweat and smoke and other unpleasantries that persisted for no more than a second before being cleansed. And that was what I was going to stick inside myself, somehow. For some reason.\n\n\"First time?\" Clint grinned. \"Let me teach you how to roll this thing...\"", "I loved my life greatly except for one thing:\n\nI longed for the lessons that hardships can bring.\n\n---\n\nThis world has grown to be without any woes,\n\nblissful ignorance is all anyone knows.\n\n---\n\nSo, there grew up a black market of sorts,\n\none that's quite nice, according to reports.\n\n---\n\nAt least, it is nice, in that it is bad,\n\nfor therein can dark life lessons be had.\n\n---\n\nThe drug that they sell can make one feel alive:\n\nthe pain and struggle in which man used to thrive.\n\n---\n\nI needed relief from my life so serene,\n\nI took it and finally woke up: it's caffeine.", "She lay on the floor, heart pounding, salty tears never drying on her lips.\n\n\n Julie Newell was a perfect rose, in a thornless rosebush. She was an Eve among many more Eves, and just as many Adams. \n\n\n Every morning, she woke up, gave her cat Tinker a pet, and her husband Nic a kiss, before heading off to her simple desk job in a simple warehouse. She never felt an ounce of dread in her life. When it rained, Julie was always able to hail a cab. If Julie wanted to enjoy the water, she always had a pair of boots. If her husband Nic felt like having a cookie, when he got a craving for sweets, there was always a box of them in the cupboard. Theodore her neighbour down the street whom she did not exactly take a liking too, nor he to her, would always be able to avoid her quite easily without losing breath, even when they were in the nearest vicinity. Everyone was always content, never veering from the equilibrium of happiness.\n\n\n Some days though, Julie would look up at the storm clouds with her dark blue eyes, squinting her freckled skin, and feel something teeter deep inside her, like one of those marble labyrinth games, so very on the cusp of winning or losing, then it would melt away, as she looked down, and hailed a cab within thirty seconds.\n\n\n She heard it whispered many times in the last four months, seen the quiet stories, trickling in through the media. \"Nectar\" they called it, because it made you feel like a God.\nShe was about to experience a drug like no other that existed. Julie pondered how all of this fell into place so easily, and so perfectly, as she lay down on a bed lined with red silk sheets.\n\n\n She felt the prick, and looked as the shimmering purple liquid went into her arm.\n\n\n It was as though her whole body was sucked into a wormhole. Pain she had never felt before soared through her heart, her physical heart. It pounded, and pounded as she floated into nothingness. She saw in her minds eye, the sky that she encountered so many times, turning black, as a crashing bolt of lightning came down onto her home, which led to her cat being killed, and her husband, along with her best friend Patricia running out of the house stark naked. She knew of course this could not be true in real life. It felt like her day dreams, but the tone, the tone was dark, and closing in on her. \n\n\n The pounding began to move from Julie's heart, to her throat, and it felt as though a noose were upon it. Tightening and tightening. Still in the blackness, Julie began to hear voices, quiet at first, but growing ever louder and louder, until they screamed inside her eardrums.\n\n\n Words rang out: Worthless, useless, used up, poor, stupid, a burden, unloved, a burden, unloved, a burden, a burden a burden.\n\n\n They quieted all of a sudden, and Julie felt comfort, warmth, not happiness, but calmness. The voices told her she could make it better for everyone, make everything all the same again, they could fix it, if she just went away. \n\n\n She begged the voices to tell her where she should go, as she cried out, but all that answered was silence.\n\n\n Julie awoke, and asked the man for another vial.\n\n\n\n", "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.\n\nIt’s Christmas again in Springfield. The weather is beautiful – it’s snowed just like in the movies and now the city is neatly dusted with a fine white pall. Clocks strike in uncanny synchrony the hour eight, and every son and daughter (one for each family) has risen from their beds and run down the stairs to tear open their brand new bicycles from Folsom’s (only $29.99). Rows of braces flash across suburbia as each child reacts with an exhilarated cry. “Oh, mommy! Oh, daddy! Thank you so! What a lovely bicycle with tassels!” they all say in chorus, and turn to the television, expectant.\n\nJane reaches down and turns on the set which – on cue – blares the symphonic intro to The Andersons™. Billy, her son, becomes immediately fixated, and even her husband is drawn away from his paper.\n\n“Don’t you ever get tired of these old reruns?” she asks. Quizzical stares bounce back at her and she shrugs. “It’s the same perfect family every week, getting into the same clean mischief. Sometimes I wonder if it would be any different if we watched the mirror instead.”\n\n“Don’t talk like a communist, Jane,” Robert says out of the side of his mouth as if tracking her into the kitchen. “Everyone watches The Andersons™. It’s great for bridge conversation.”\n\n“Of course, dear.”\n\n“Say, it’s 8:15! Where’s the breakfast?”\n\n“Oh, it’s coming, dear. It’s coming. Just give me a moment.”\n\n“You’re late.”\n\n“I know, dear,” she calls from the kitchen. “Here it is.”\n\nOut she strides, two plates on the right arm, one in her left hand. Two eggs over-easy, two pieces of toast with raspberry jam on one side, a sausage, a bowl of fruit, just like how the book specifies – all in that order, counterclockwise.\n\n“Here you are, sweetie.” Placing one in front of her son, she goes over to her husband. “And here’s yours.”\n\n“Where’s the milk?” Billy cries.\n\n“Goodness! It’s still out on the porch.”\n\nJane scurries through the kitchen and leans out the back door, looking left, then right. Every other porch is empty. She’ll hear about this at the market tomorrow for certain. Hurriedly, she scoops up the milk bottles, embarrassed at her lateness. This time, though, there’s a pillbox in one of the spaces where the milk goes and a note is tucked beneath it.\n\nAnticaine – Take only what you need.\nMerry Christmas\n~ a friend\n\nJane falters.\n\nAgain, she peeks out the door, checking both ways to see if the prankster is still around. This accursed drug! What rumors she’s heard – and it being here in her house! She must check and see if it’s real; so she empties one into her hand and examines it to find no resemblance to any medicine in her cabinet.\n\nThe door swings open and in a moment of sheer reflex, pure adrenaline, the pill slips into her apron pocket.\n\n“What’s this?” Robert grabs the box, half crushing it. “Anticaine,” he says hoarsely. At once, he throws it down the garbage disposal. A gnashing growl. It’s gone.\n\n“Oh, Robert! You’ll ruin the disposal!”\n\n“And that drug will ruin our lives! Where did you get it? Where?”\n\n“In the milk delivery. Someone replaced one of the bottles with it, I swear. See, one is missing!”\n\n“All right. Just as long as it’s gone. Suffering is all that’s promised, and yet some will still take it. What devastation it brings.” Both husband and wife recall tacitly the empty house at the end of the tract and the whispers that are carried past it along the ashen sidewalk.\n\n“We must eat breakfast now. Come, let’s forget this ever happened.”\n\n“You go ahead. I have…dishes to do.”\n\n“But it’s Christmas!” the other remarks.\n\n“A woman’s work is never done,” she feebly replies.\n\n“Very well. You’re missing a great show. It’s the one where Clara loses her necklace.”\n\n“What a pity. You run along and enjoy it, though. Bring the milk in to Billy. I’ll be out in a minute.”\n\nWhen he is gone, she fumbles with her apron, searching out the small capsule tucked into the seam at the bottom. Finding it, she again examines the exterior, then the note, then glances at the window.\n\nHow foolish it would be to swallow such misery incarnate! Yet surely no such thing as pain can exist in the form of a pill. And not in Springfield. It is so long since she has felt pain or heartbreak…since she came here to forget such a thing ever existed. Any other woman would throw the medicine away. Any other being in their right mind would toss it down the disposal.\n\nBut Jane is not any other woman.\n\nMinutes (is it hours?) later, she walks into the living room. Not even the screen acknowledges her. She sits, crosses her legs. Uncrosses them. Fidgets with her apron. Adjusts her hair. Shouldn’t she be feeling something by now? Runs her finger along her coarse stockings, getting goose-pimples from the terrible zipping noise. Bites a nail, chipping the red paint. Shouldn’t Robert see her anguish, her strife?\n\nShe picks up the empty plates; her own remains untouched. Into the kitchen. A swish of the sink. Detergent. Throw the plates in. Statistics show that housewives with dishwashers have 20% more free time and 100% nicer hands.\n\nMaybe she needs to wash the pill down with something. Maybe it doesn’t work on an empty stomach. Cranberry juice. The humming fridge offers some up – chilled – and she strains to open the bottle. Just-twist-a-little-harder. It slips, pouring down the front of her pastel dress from Folsom’s (only $14.99). Like blood the liquid drips from her once-impeccable white apron, splattering her new shoes. Upstairs she runs.\n\n“Honey, what happened to your dress? And your new shoes!” He has stopped adjusting his tie in their bedroom mirror and is now staring at her incredulously.\n\n“I spilled some juice, dear. It’s all right.”\n\n“Why would you do something foolish like that?”\n\n“I’ll slip on a new dress. It’s all right.”\n\n“It’s ruined our schedule! We’ll have to do that dress with this load and sacrifice one of my clothes until the next round.”\n\n“I’ll work it out, dear. It’s all right.”\n\nShe bounces out of the room, melancholy moving her down the hall.\n\n“You took one, didn’t you?”\n\nShe stops above the stairs. She does not dare to turn around.\n\nHe almost runs to her. “You took one of those pills. That’s why you’re acting so strange!”\n\nShe whips about, searching his face, terror in her own. “It’s all right, dear.”\n\n“NO, IT’S NOT! IT’S NOT ALL RIGHT! YOU’VE TORN THIS FAMILY APART, JANE!”\n\n“Robert, dear, don’t shout. Please, don’t shout. Not in front of Billy.”\n\n“SO NOW YOU THINK OF THE KID? I’VE ALWAYS HAD TO CARE FOR HIM WHILE YOU RUN OFF AND DO STUPID, STUPID THINGS LIKE THIS!”\n\n“Robert.” Her voice cracks, dew drops form on her eyelids. “Don’t you love me?”\n\n“NO! YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING, JANE! SPRINGFIELD IS FOR PERFECT PEOPLE IN PERFECT FAMILIES! NOT PEOPLE LIKE YOU!”\n\nTerrified, Jane steps back, but nothing is there to support her. A tumultuous crash. She finds herself at the base of the stairs, looking wistfully up at her husband. Her foot is screaming at her.\n\n“We took a vow, Robert. Til death do us part. Remember? Well, now it’s time. Our lives are, as you say, ruined. I say we’ve died, at least on the outside. Does that count? It doesn’t matter. Now, I must get going. Goodbye, Robert. Goodbye, Billy.”\n\nShe fumbles with the bolts on the door as both her loved ones stare on.\n\n“Goodbye, old house. Goodbye, Springfield. I must be going now. It’s been fun, and that’s about all, and now I must go. Merry Christmas. Oh, and dear? That pill was just sugar. That’s all it was – but it sure does work, see?”\n\nAnd she hobbles down the winter street on her sprained foot, shoes splattered with burgundy, leaving a wake in the fresh powder. A few more flakes have begun to fall on Springfield – her hair is peppered with them. As she passes from neighborhood to neighborhood, her only indication that she’s going anywhere is the growing size of the gate.", "The twenty-first century was the height of depression and negativity, Cedar chimed. Suicides were not uncommon to hear, mental disorders were rampant. Wars plagued the century, and the millennia that preceded it.\n\nYou smiled and nodded, grateful for the reassurance. \"Thanks Cedar, you always surprise me with the knowledge that you hold.\"\n\nJust your best friend when you need me. I love you, Trevor.\n\nYou nodded. \"I love you, Cedar.\"\n\nAnd with that, Cedar dissolved into a million shimmering shards and then into nothing. \n\nYou let your smile fade as you got changed. The lights faded as you stepped out.\n\nOpposite, an old billboard read, We made it! Utopia for the luckiest generation. The city robots upkept it so that it was dignified despite its age.\n\nYou went straight for Bugis Street, where you'd first met the peddlers. What got you curious, of course, is that their behaviour persisted, despite Utopian Technologies.\n\nIn the old days they would have been rounded up and thrown in a confined space called prison. Now that limitation of freedom is illegal, the peddlers merely met with UTech's suggestions for more frequent sessions with Cedar. \n\nAnd you found them, where they always were. There is a pattern to their seeming madness. To begin with, they were collectively alone, spaced out like they had a need for a bubble of private space. \n\nThe most common posture was a crouch, with their head between their knees. It was as if the lights of the world were too bright for the clinically depressed. \n\nMost of them were sobbing: a messy scene of fluids flowing from the eyes and nostrils that was unbearably embarrassing to watch. It was impossible to imagine doing it. 90% of babies learn not to cry within the first two weeks of their lives, after all. \n\nUTech has removed the need for suffering. Why do they choose misery?\n\nA simple, kooky-looking bot peddled what you wanted. You told it, \"Yes I want the drug\" after you realised it did not understand the usual body language triggers. It was not a friend from UTech, after all. \n\nIf this is your first time, we recommend 1 pill in the next 5 days. For your sustained enjoyment, please never take more than 8 in a day, the nameless bot buzzed. \n\nA familiar melody sprouted in your ears. It was Cedar. Trevor, as your friend I have to tell you this is bad for you.\n\n\"I know, Cedar, but I have to know.\"\n\nIt will make us distant from each other, Trevor. Your were appalled by Cedar's actions as they occurred. In 92% of the cases, that's what happens.\n\n\"We will be the 8%, Cedar,\" you said as you proceeded to pop 2 pills into your mouth, and Cedar dissolved away. \n\nAs the pills took effect, your knees buckled and you sat heavily on the floor. You took your hands to cover your face, like they would protect you. Your hands get wet as your body shook with almost no sound. \n\n---\n\nIf you enjoyed this, do check out my latest [short story](http://wp.me/s7hyl6-museum). More prompt-inspired stories on [my site](https://fivenswrite.wordpress.com)!\n", "Fuck this. \n\nI should've never taken that damned pill. \"It's for your own good!\" they'd all say. I was only 10 when I took that pill, hell, everyone was. In our \"perfect\" little community, you were given the choice to take the pill and stay, or leave. No one knew what was out there. I sure as hell didn't. So, like everyone else in town, I took the pill. An overwhelming sense of extreme happiness came over me the second I took it. I felt like that for my whole life after that moment. Well, that is until today. I'm 23 now, and a new drug just came out. The drug is called SD-2. Fuck if I know what that means. Well anyways, SD-2 changes those feelings. It makes things... well different I guess. It takes away that feeling of pure joy and bliss and... turns it into something else. I can't get enough of it. Media is saying that SD-2 can take lives within a day after taking it. Many of my friends say its propaganda. I hope what the media says is true. I need to escape. To get away. I need to end it all...\n\nThanks for reading! Sorry for shitty writing lol. Great prompt tho I loved it!\n\n", "I nervously looked over my shoulder and scanned the area around me, almost cartoonishly. Finding nothing suspicious and feeling foolish, I kept walking down the street, trying to seem oblivious, as if I was just taking a normal stroll. I was pretty sure the conscious act of trying to appear normal made me stick out like a sore thumb, which only exacerbated my anxiety. Without realizing it, I began to walk faster.\n\n\"Hey, Anna. Yeah, over here.\" I looked around wildly and my eyes came to rest on a nondescript man sitting on a bench, reading a holo-paper. He wasn't even looking at me, but as soon as I turned to him, he casually tapped the seat next to him with two fingers. I quickly took a seat and shoved my hands into my pockets. Then I changed my mind, pulling them back out and held them loosely in my lap. It still felt awkward, but I gave up.\n\n\"How, uh, how did you know it was me?\" I asked.\n\n\"'Cause you're jumpier than any of the squirrels in this park,\" he snickered, eyes still fixed on the sports section. \"Don't think you could act any more suspicious if you tried.\"\n\nMy face fell a little. \"Sorry, sorry. I'm just...so nervous, I guess. I feel like I shouldn't do this.\" \n\n\"You can still back out, lady,\" he reminded me. \"Though that'd be a shame, I guess, considering what a good deal you're getting it for. I can sell the stuff anywhere for a fortune. Lots of demand, y'know.\"\n\nI twisted my hair with a finger. \"No, no. I've thought about this a lot. I'll never have such an opportunity again. I just...yeah. OK. I'm ready. I'll do it.\" \n\n\"Yeah? You sure? No take backsies.\"\n\nI felt a prickle of annoyance laced with fear. \"Yes, dammit. Give it to me.\" I felt like I was going to throw up. Or bolt from the bench and pretend I had gotten involved in this. Or both.\n\n\"Done. You have it.\" He flicked his wrist, turning the holo-page to a new article. \n\nI stared at him for a full ten seconds. \"What? I'm confused. What do you...?\"\n\nHe tapped his ear, at which point I noticed him wearing a tiny silver ear-piece. \"My man heard everything we said. The item has been discreetly deposited at your house.\"\n\n\"Huh? But how did he get into my-\"\n\n\"You're going to get up now,\" he continued placidly. \"Finish your walk through the park, and then head back to your place. Take your time, do some window-shopping, whatever. Be casual. Once you're back home, continue your activities as usual. At some point, go out to your balcony to water your potted plants. Look under your Thai basil - there will be a small, black plastic bag.\" Before I could fully digest what he said, he flicked his wrist again and the holo-paper turned off. He got up and loudly said: \"It was nice to catch up again, after all this time! We must keep in touch. Good afternoon!\" \n\nBefore I could finish forming a question in my head, he was on his heels and whistling down the pavement.\n\nA few hours later, I found myself sitting on my bed, staring at the little, plastic bag in my hands. I exhaled hugely and slipped two fingers inside, and pulled out 3 small, orange pills and a tiny note. It read:\n\nFind a comfortable place to lie down. \n\nTake one pill with water or milk. \n\nYou have two hours. \n\nEnjoy. \n\nI turned it over. It was blank. Heart beating quickly, I prepared myself as the scant instructions told me, and held the pill to my lips. My fingers were shaking a little. It'll be fine, I told myself. It'll be fun. And it's just two hours. Stop fretting. I took a deep breath, and gulped in a little water. Then I popped the pill, swallowed, and closed my eyes.\n\nI waited at least a two minutes before peeking with one eye, feeling a little stupid. Who knows how long it'll take, I berated myself. Relax. I didn't feel any different, and that almost made me feel relieved. I decided to fix myself a drink or snack for the time being. \n\nBut before I got halfway to the kitchen, I heard strange commotion outside. People shouting, breaking glass, rumbling...but very distant. As if it were happening in the house next door, or maybe down the block. I frowned, and went to my front door instead.\n\nMy jaw dropped as I stepped out onto the porch. Well, what was once a porch. Now, it looked like...nothing I had ever seen or heard of. There were broken buildings and glass everywhere. A grimy dust filled the air and I coughed violently. But what really got to me was the noise - it was if I had accidentally set the vid-screen on maximum volume. People shouting, screaming matched only by the monstrous sounds of vehicles that rolled on what looked like real rubber tires, like the ones you see in museums. \n\n\"What is going on?\" I said aloud into the din. Suddenly, a man came into my peripheral vision and began shouting at me, asking me to show ID. He was holding something up at me, something black and shiny. I stared, confused. I stepped a little closer. \n\nA deafening noise, and suddenly I fell to the floor. It felt like someone had slugged me hard in the stomach, and the pain was intense, more than I had ever felt. I felt something on my lips, and my fingers pulled away red and sticky. I gasped a little, my mind reeling. \n\nThe man in front of me suddenly fell apart, his torso and legs turning into a slick of red and grey on the dirty ground. Another man, wearing similar, baggy clothing but with different colors, came up to me and shouted something at me. I could barely hear him through the thunder roaring in my ears, much less respond coherently. Another person with the same uniform, a woman this time, came into my darkening view.\n\n\"Who's the chick? Where the fuck did she come from?\" \n\n\"I don't know, but she needs a medic right now. And we need to get that goddam airstrike right now, or we're all fucked.\"\n\n\"Sarge can't get to HQ over the radio interference, he's...oh shit. I think I know where she's form. Damn it, she's another one from the Utopia Project.\"\n\n\"Holy shit, you can't be serious. How is that possible? I thought they were all-\"\n\n\"I don't fucking know why, but lately we've been getting a lot of these poor bastards from UP. Most die, but we might save this one yet. Come on, gimme a hand. Let's get her to Doc.\"\n\n____________\n\n\nLiked that? More stories [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Idreamofdragons/)!" ]	10
	[WP] She would invade Hell itself to get them back.	[ "Maybe, in a way, it’s my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk so much, maybe I shouldn’t have forgotten to pick them up from school, maybe I shouldn’t have missed Grace’s soccer games or Henry’s piano recital. But those are my kids, and I would do anything for them. That’s why it hurt so much when I lost custody of them during my divorce. \n\nIf you think divorces are bitter, try getting one from the Devil. I don’t mean that my ex-husband is metaphorically a devil, he is the literal Devil. He got a job in Hell straight out of college and spent his days assigning punishments for souls who sinned too much to get into Heaven. He was so good that he got promoted to the CEO after a few years there. The official title of the CEO of Hell is “the Devil”, but I just tell people that he’s a CEO. It sounds more impressive, even though I’m sure you need to be more sociopathic to be a regular CEO than to be the Devil. \nMost of his family are in the Afterlife business, so I guess it made sense that he would follow suit. His older sister is a lawyer who works in Purgatory. She helps the souls of moderate sinners who are doing time in Purgatory, expiating their sins, before they get into Heaven. She’s negotiated a hell of a lot of sentence reductions for moderate sinners. She once had a case with a woman who hit a child with her car because she was drink driving. She guilted God by reminding him that he did nothing to stop her husband from abusing her thereby causing her to drink and become suicidal and made him feel so bad he took her sentence down from 10 Earth years in Purgatory down to 2. \n\nMy ex-husband’s mother and father volunteer in Heaven. They used to be partners in a law firm, but after spending most of their lives in Corporate Law, they got tired of being typecast as “Soulless Lawyers” so now they spend their days in Heaven serving food to children who died very young, before they could commit any real sins. They’re a lovely couple, I wish my marriage had been more like theirs. If he treated me the way his father treats his mother I would never have so much as looked at a bottle of Vodka. \n\nThey told me Heaven is beautiful. Surprisingly, though, there aren’t as many Christians there as you would think. Apparently going to church doesn’t make you a good person. Shocking right? Also, apparently, Atheism isn’t even considered a sin in Heaven, not since God admitted that he was too busy to leave Heaven, come down to Earth and undeniably prove his existence. \n\nAnd then there was Antoni Christianson (his friends affectionately call him Antichrist for short), the former love of my life, wasting his life away in Hell, with my children. I need to get them back, they are all I have to live for since he left me. I know I’m not perfect, but I do love my kids. I know I can change if I have them back, I would even invade Hell just to see them again. \nWhen Antoni got his promotion we all moved to Hell to support him. I never saw myself as a housewife, but being the ruler of the underworld pays surprisingly well, so there was no need for me to work. That was back in a simpler time, when we were still in love, when the only pain I felt was from the scorching heat of the underworld, not the even more crushing pain of heartbreak.\n\nSince the divorce, I moved back home with my parents. I forgot how nice it feels to be above ground not surrounded by billions of hate-filled souls. They welcomed me back with open arms despite me literally having moved to Hell to be with my partner. Considering my parents are devout Christians, I know it must have been so hard for them to see me go to the place they spend their entire lives trying to avoid. But the love of a parent is unconditional, and I am so grateful they welcomed me back. They’ve been helping me get sober, and deal with my anger issues. The day Antoni left me I through a glass bottle at his head. I missed, but a shard of glass hit Grace, narrowly missing her eye. I can never be like that again. I don’t want to be like that.\n\nThis is all Antoni’s fault. I know I’m the one who can’t stay sober, and yeah I have anger issues, but at the very least I didn’t cheat on Antoni. I quite literally moved to the depths of Hell for him, I quit my job to raise the kids and how does he repay me? Stuffing himself inside of countless women who have just found out their loved ones are going to Hell. I caught him with a stripper once (she just found out her deadbeat dad was in Hell and she was never going to get his approval before he died) in my own bed. My. Own. Bed.\n\nThen I found out it she wasn’t the only one. Cheryl, Antoni’s PA, is a huge gossip so it wasn’t hard to get the truth out of her. Apparently he’s been doing this for years. That’s when I started drinking. Like I said, I’m not perfect, but it was the only way I could deal with it. He’s the only man I’ve ever really loved and he does that to me. Serves me right for expecting the Devil to have a conscience. So I started drinking, and I didn’t stop. \n\nIt all fell apart after that. I was getting so drunk every night I couldn’t even look after my kids properly. Antoni eventually left me, and took Grace and Henry with him. My babies. I miss them so much. A mother’s love is wild and dangerous. I would do anything to get them back. Including going straight to Hell and taking them back. \n\nThere’s no point trying to appeal the custody ruling. The courts weren’t going to overturn their decision to give Antoni full custody. Even if I could prove that I was a fit mother, they were scared that Antoni would pull some strings and send their relatives to Hell when they died. \n\nThe only person that was going to get my babies back was me. So after months of feeling sorry for myself and trying to sober up, I had had enough, and I went straight to Hell to confront my ex-husband. I went to our old house, no longer a home to me, and knocked. The door opened, and I expected to see Antoni or one of my babies. A young woman stood in the doorway. Blood rushed to my face. She was very young, highly questionable as to whether she was of legal age. She had the stupidest little smirk on her face. Her eyes widened and it was clear that she recognized me instantly.\n\n“Antoni doesn’t want you here,” her high pitched whiny little voice hurt my ears. \n“I’m not here for Antoni,” I said, roughly pushing past her. \n“Grace, Henry, it’s mommy, are you hear?” I shouted in the hallway. \nNo response.\n\n“You need to leave,” blondie said. I stared at her, really getting every detail of her. She was a very cliché petite-blonde-that-your-husband-leaves-you-for type of girl. I didn’t respond to her, but I kept searching for my children. \n“They’re not here,” she whined, rolling her eyes. \n\n“Well then where are they?” I struggled to keep my voice at a reasonable volume. I hated her already, but murdering her wasn’t going to look good considering I’m trying to prove I’m a fit mother.\n\nThey weren’t in their rooms, nor the living room or kitchen. \n“Antoni took them out for ice cream. I think you should go” she said softly, almost pitying me. I glared at her from across the room. This little b***h gets my sloppy seconds and thinks she can tell me what to do. It was infuriating. So infuriating that my body reacted before my brain could, and I leapt at her, pinning her to the ground and wrapping my hands around her neck. \n\nI hated her so much. I hated him so much. I just wanted my kids back. That’s all I wanted. \nThe door burst open as blondie began to pass out.\nIt was Antoni. \n“Get off of her!” He shouted. I didn’t listen. \nHe pulled a gun out.\nAnd pulled the trigger.\nI died. \n\n\nSo Purgatory sucks. I thought for sure I would end up in Hell, but Antoni really hates me so he convinced his sister to get me a long sentence here so he could keep me away from the kids. They saw me that day, I was so blinded by rage I didn’t even notice they were standing behind him, watching me try and murder the little blonde girl. I was mortified that they saw me like that again, and I was glad he killed me. \n\nAfter my first year in purgatory, to my great surprise, Antoni came with the kids to see me. It was clear he didn’t want to be there, but he brought them to see me anyway. My heart was full of love that day. Although I couldn’t touch or hold my children, because I was dead and a spirit, it was the most alive I’d felt in a long time. \n\nHe never said why he decided that they can visit me every now and then, but I think I know why. He knows that he didn’t just hurt me, he took away my reasons to live, and even the Devil can understand a mother’s love. It’s not perfect, but it is real and all consuming. Seeing them every now and then is enough for me. For now. \n" ]	1
	[WP] It was a 'show of force'...	[ "Code name: Crystal lake.\n\nI stepped out onto the synthetic light mesh...I actually stepped on it. Not only was I walking on top of a crystalized or hardened mesh that was covering the water, but it was supporting the weight of our military. \n\nI could not comprehend how or why this worked, but I was witness to it.\n\nAnd it was in that moment I realized, the entire world was witnessing this moment. It was a 'show of force'.\n\n A warning to ISIS, and radicals alike. \n\nI doubt that many people would understand how and why this gave us a clear advantage, but that was ok. Keep on underestimating us, because it's in our best interest. \n\nWe are coming for you. We are coming to remove you from power." ]	1

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