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[WP] [TT] At 9am every day, you perform the ritual that keeps the monster at bay; just like you were told. Today, at 9:30am, you wake up.
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"\"Oh shit man! I slept through my alarm,\" I say to noone in particular as I jumped out of bed. I rush to my bathroom and open the medicine cabinet before carefully selecting the bottle I need. I take two and drink some water before going back to bed. \"I'm sure half an hour won't kill me, at least not before the cancer will.\""
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[WP] You've always said you feel like you were meant to be born in a different time period. One morning, you wake to find yourself in the muddy trenches of the American army during World War I.
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"Every day was so dull, life had all just felt so wrong. Day by day I wandered through life feeling disconnected from everything and everyone around me- a foggy haze separating me from the so called happiness that everyone else felt. At night I would lie in bed staring up at the ceiling wishing, sometimes out loud even, 'I wish I had a different life'\n\nAn ear shattering blast woke me up. I screamed over the ringing in my ears as chaos continued to unfold all around me, men all around me- covered in mud so thick I could hardly make out their figures- rushed past carrying rifles and wearing tattered helmets. My own feet sank in to the mud as I took a step, reaching out towards one of the men, to try and get his attention, but before I could another soldier approached me- screaming over the constant string of gunfire, \"What are you doing soldier? Get fighting!\"\n\nHe shoved a rifle into my hands and ran off, my eyes widened at the weight of the weapon, and I couldn't help but feel an upbeat in my heart at the prospect of actually fighting for a cause. I didn't care about losing my old life, the corners of my mouth twisted up into a grin and I mutter, 'This will be fun...'\n\nI moved towards the edge of the trench, my heart raced at the thought of actually firing at an enemy, and I began to inch myself upward. I readied the gun and carefully took aim, and right as I began to clench the trigger I got shot in the head and fucking died.",
"Adrenaline shot through my body, the smell of ammonia, acrid and sour, stung my virgin nose. I shot up from where I was sitting in the trench, attempting to dust off mud, caked on my ass from having been sitting so long. Thats when I realized the landscape wasn’t the only thing that was off. I was dressed in boots and a uniform. They were dull like the mud, save for the ammo pouches slung over my shoulders and the back pack I now carried.\nShots rang continuously from down the line, both to my right and left. The trench I was in turned a corner to my immediate left, and on my right it stretched for a good 50 yards.\n\nThis was not my room. \nThis was not even my State.\nThe last thing I remember was falling asleep in my bedroom, but this, this was something straight out of Battlefield.\n\nThree men in the same dull muddied garb as myself ran by slightly bent over. One noticing my lost look, as I’m sure it didn’t take much for I seemed out of place, stopped by me.\nHe was talking to me directly. His eyes locked on mine, mouth moving to enunciate every syllable he said as though I were a child. But I couldn’t hear a word he said, dazed in the confusion of the situation. Instead my ears and eyes chose to focus on the background action. The Roaring buzz of 4 smoking Sopwith Camels dancing with similar conditioned German Schuckerts. The casual plunking of bullets ripping into the fleshy hull of the Bi-planes, as the ones who had had enough came careening down to meld with the trenches I occupied. \nSlowly, the soldier's screaming face came into focus, materializing appropriately for the reality I now faced.\nStammering, eating my own words faster than they came out, I managed to get an almost inaudible squeal before his head jerked roughly forward and then back. I felt the air sting, realizing only too late that it was a gun shot.\n\nIn an attempt to move away from the hot zone, I stumbled. One boot was caught in the mud and in a bad combination the other caught the leg of the now deceased soldier. The trip caused me to fall face first beside the man, and into the remnants of the blown out back of his head. I tasted iron and dirt as my head began to ring again. Scrambling for the helmet that had fallen from my head, I grabbed his. I moved to stand, pushing my hands through the meat of his head. The exit wound grafted a cloud of smoke into the the sickly air. \nInvoluntary tears welled up in my eyes as I tried to move from the gruesome scene pulling the damaged helmet over my head. I crawled on hands and knees around the bend in the trench, noticing the ground becoming increasingly more disturbing as I continued on in a search for safety. \nI laughed, or let out another squeak, as it dawned on me, the irony of always believing I belonged in another time. Now that I was here I appreciated the comfort of my home and my unchanging and safe day to day job. But for all I know that was Years in the future and from what I gathered so far, the likely hood of me making it another couple years was next to nothing. \n\nMaking my way down the trench, climbing over bodies and shying away from rats I came upon more soldiers. another one rushed over to me asking me where my rifle was and what i was doing. I coughed a “no” at him, not wanting him to meet the same end as the last soldier who tried to help me.\nGrabbing my arm he lifted me up, but it was at that point I could no longer hold in my gut. I let up everything I had in my stomach, which was primarily mud, blood and stomach acid. The soldier threw my arm away in disgust, re-joining his comrades, as I keeled over and dry heaved into the bloody mud.\nThey tossed a rifle my way, with a bayonet bouncing on the sickly bodies of the deceased. The men were slowly moving the build up of fallen friends around the bend where I had come from, In order to have more space to maneuver. \n\nThis is my first prompt response so critique is welcome -haha"
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[WP] Highschool can be tough on some, and for the most unfortunate students, things can take a dramatic and irreversible turn. On this day, the nation stops to remember what you did in school five years ago that changed the country forever.
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"Everyone stopped as the government broadcast came on over the television. it had only been 5 years but the memory burned as fresh as they day it happened. Some folks were angry, others celebrated, but none could deny what had happened as the words scrolled slowly across the screen.\n\"In memory of Columbine High School.\"",
"Five years ago, I accidentally exposed a matter of presidential security. What I did started a chain of events that led to nuclear war and the deaths of billions. It all started when Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping saw the live broadcast. They knew that the president was weak and launched a joint effort to invade the United States. When Europe aided our retaliation, North Korea launched nukes all over the world in a desperate attempt to be invloved in the war. They even nuked themselves. When it was all said and done, the death toll was at just over three billion.\n\nSo what did I do to start all of this? I tripped. I was being honored by the president at my school and I tripped. When I fell, I grabbed a hold of the closest thing to catch my fall, but I fell anyway. And I took the president's pants with me. I'll spare you the details, but I will say this: when I shook the president's hand, it *was* small."
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[WP] Ghosts Of The Sanitarium
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"lonely hall, voice-echoing; \nfaint windows showing \na hint of the otherworld. \nlocked doors with rooms, \nfearful rooms with windows, \ndrawn windows with bars. \nwho strolls here? \nwhat step is that? \nquiet dancing tip-tap, \nfast-fleeting sigh -- \nthe ghosts of the sanitarium, \nthey sob, but they \nwere not the first to cry. \n\n***\n\nWrote this quickly while in a coffeeshop ... for some reason, I always feel like writing a poem when I'm here. Your prompts are perfect for that. :) Thanks for the great prompt!!",
"\"You're perfect.\" \n\n\"Am I? I don't believe such a state is possible.\" \n\nHe stared at her through the thick lenses of his goggles. He adjusted his face mask with a bloodied, gloved hand. \n\n\"You're in an optimal state then.\" \n\nShe looked at herself, half suspended in the red nutrient solution. She looked at herself, her flesh a mish mash of scars and her reflection against a glass panel- \n\n-a single eye stared back at her. The other was fused shut and scarred. Black, poisoned veins ran across her skin. \n\n\"Are you ever going to give up on me?\" she asked, \"I'm half-dead as is. I can't walk. I can't eat. I can't go outside.\" \n\nHe shrugged, walking around her for a brief moment. The translucent sphere she lay bathed in, turned, floating after him. She admired the straightness of his back, the way the tails of his white coat twisted as he moved. \n\nThey stopped at the Observatory. It was the closest to the outside that she could be with her failed immune system. \n\n\"Do you...want me to give up on you?\" he asked, hesitantly. She couldn't quite see his expression through the mask and goggles he wore, but she'd long since learnt to read the subtler twitches of his body as he spoke. \n\n\"Maybe.\" she said, \"It can't be healthy for you to stay here with me all the time. When's the last time you went out under the sun?\" \n\nHe shrugged. His dark hair was tired and unkempt, his skin paled and sunless. \n\n\"I can live without the sun. I can live here with you, in my Sanatorium.\" \n\n\"You can.\" she said, \"That doesn't mean you should have to.\" \n\nHe looked away. \"You shouldn't have to be dying either.\"\n\n\"I am going to die eventually though.\" she pointed out, \"You'll have to accept that.\" \n\nHe twitched. \"Will I?\" He tilted his head. \n\n\"You're a stubborn man, but death is an inevitability.\" she said. \n\nHe shrugged. \"You're still alive. That means there's hope. I've told you. I've begun...clinical trials...on a number of subjects sequestered below. If I can find a remedy-\" \n\n\"-how many people have you already experimented on to try to heal me?\" \n\nHe looked out of the Observatory. She followed his gaze, seeing the vast snowy mountains beyond. He shrugged. \n\n\"I don't know. I've lost count. It doesn't matter.\" \n\n\"It does matter to me.\" she said, \"You used to care. You used to be a proper medicae. You didn't used to be like this.\" she paused, \"It's like you're dying with me.\" \n\n\"So what if I am?\" \n\nA black silence drew up between them, cold and empty. She shivered in her sphere. \n\n\"Just stop experimenting. Stop hurting.\" she said, \"Let me go. I don't want to watch you die.\" \n\n\"I can't.\" he said, \"I'm sorry. I can't stop myself. Forgive me. I'm sorry.\" \n\nHis attention seemed to waver. His stance grew perfectly still. He didn't hear her for a moment. His hands flexed and twitched, droplets of blood marring his white, white coat. \n\n\"-you drifted away for a moment.\" she told him, when she felt his gaze refocus. \"You've been losing yourself more and more lately. You're...are you alright?\" \n\nHe shrugged and looked at her. She could feel the warmth of his gaze. \n\n\"Only if you are.\" \n"
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[WP]You have the answer to the most important question. The thing is, you don't even know what is the question.
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"Long ago, a supercomputer named Deep Thought calculated the \"Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.\" \n\nIt took it 7.5 million years. \n\nHowever, the answer was ultimately meaningless, because the people who created the computer didn't even know what the Ultimate Question in the first place was anyway.\n\nAll I know, is that the answer is \"42.\" \n\nSo I travel the world with my \"Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy\" in pursuit of the Ultimate Question after Earth - which was designed to provide us with the Ultimate Question - was ultimately destroyed. "
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[WP] Through a freak accident, you lose one of your senses. What happens and how do you deal with it?
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"I thought I was close enough away... all I heard was a bang and a buzzing, then eventually silence. All I do is music, where the hell do I go from here?\n\n I put my songs on and I don't recognize them. My words, my melodies? they're all vibrations now. Might as well just be more gunshots - directly into what's left of my spirit.\n\n I write a lot now...they tell me the music being made out of these words is doing fantastic. I don't need any recognition for my part, I just need to be able to hear what I created. If the devil is listening, I'm willing to make an offer."
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You have your other four senses to rely on for now.
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[WP] You wake up blind in the street, find out what happened.
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"\"Cadeus. Cadeus!\" \n\nThe voice comes from a very far away place. His ears are buzzing. His head is ringing. His face feels wet and strange and when he tries to open his eyes it *hurts*. \n\nA trembling hand rests on his shoulder, pulling debris away from him. He pulls himself out, pushing aside a fallen column with his bare hands. \n\n\"Ilona, is that you?\" he calls. \n\nA moment of silence profound. He hears- feels- rain growing on his skin. He hears the sounds of whimpering and groans. \n\n\"I-It's me. Cadeus! I- you're alive, I thought-\" \n\nHe forces out a laugh, stumbling onto the ground. An insistent thought is tugging at him but he refuses to think it. \n\n\"-no measley dragon is going to take me down.\" he says, \"Is everyone safe?\" \n\n\"Yes. The villagers were secured in time.\" Ilona says. The cleric's hand steadies his shoulder. He can feel a cool breeze of magic trickling into his veins. A hand against the side of his face and again it *hurts*. He pulls away sharply, trying not to fall over at the spike of pain. \n\n\"Cadeus...your-\" \n\n\"Show me to the castle, Ilona. I have to see how Alina is faring with the Wyverns.\" \n\nIlona gulps audibly. \"You're injured. You can't go fight Wyverns! You've done more than enough, Cadeus, please-\"\n\nIlona is right, of course. He can taste blood in his mouth. His face- his eyes are hurting and he can't see a damn thing. \n\nMight never see a damn thing again. \n\n\"It's my duty.\" he mutters, trying to gauge where he was relative to the fortress where Alina was stationed. He'd been in the main plaza of the city, near the fountain, towards the east gate-\n\n\"I'll come with you!\"\n\nHe starts at that, \"You're a cleric. You're not meant to be fighting beasts, Ilona.\" \n\n\"You can't see a- a damn thing! If you insist on going anyway I'll be forced to accompany you to make sure you don't die!\" \n\n\"I won't die.\" he said gruffly, starting to walk away slowly. Ilona touched his shoulder, guiding him along the narrow streets. \n\nIlona sighed, \"That's what they all say.\" "
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[WP] You find a funky pair of sunglasses at a coffee shop and decide to try them on, when you notice texting floating around each person you look at. It seems to reveal their dating info: relationship status, age, interests, TV shows, foods, etc. A cute guy/girl sits down next to you.
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"One thing is for sure, you see what you need to see. \n\nOnly an hour earlier, I had sat down at a Starbucks table with a venti skinny vanilla latte and a copy of Neil Strauss’ The Game. I was a desperate man. As a 24 year old virgin with a severe cowlick I had tried everything. \n\nAs I lazily read the pages and glanced around for a distraction I saw that my neighbor had left without taking his neon orange hipster glasses. Something about those glasses made the guy look so cool and confident. I could never pull them off. Then Neil said it on page 13, “you have to stand out like a peacock if you want to attract attention.” Maybe those glasses were exactly what I needed. \nI grabbed the glasses as I headed for the door to sit outside for a smoke. \n\nThey felt odd on my face, it wasn’t just the color or the style. These glasses seemed to know what I was looking at and adjust to it. Fast moving objects like cars seemed to slow down for me to get a better look. It felt crazy, but I could almost swear that the glasses knew what I wanted to see and helped me see exactly that. That’s when he sat dawn.\n\nI looked over at my new neighbor on the lone bench in the smoking area and a sharp looking guy was sitting next to me. It started with a name to the right of his face appearing in dark letters against the grey concrete. \n“Todd Foster”\n\nI looked away, what the hell was that…\n\nI took a drag from my Pall Mall and a sip of my latte. \n\n“What’s up Todd?” I said.\n\n“Oh not much, just fighting off this hangover. Were you at the party last night? I think I remember you; you were with Chris right?”\n\n“Yeah didn’t stay long, I had to go meet someone. Anyway, good to see you.”\n\nAs I stood up to leave I looked back at Todd and saw the text appear again, \n“Financially solid, likes cats, plays guitar and soccer”\n\nI went and sat back down inside. Todd was loaded and he's a jock, I bet he had no problem getting girls. It was then I knew exactly what the glasses were for. \n \nI went to the restroom and looked in the mirror.\n\n“Michael Lee”\n“Broke, likes Star Wars, plays video games”\n\nNo wonder I couldn’t get a girl. I took off the glasses. There I was again, my normal self. I didn’t need the glasses to see the truth. I was trying to crack the formula for finding someone, when I needed to be improving myself. \n \nI put the glasses back on the table; someone would be back for them and I didn’t need that kind of drama. I tossed the book and my empty cup in the trash as I moved on. \n\n(This is my first attempt at writing in years, constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you for the prompt.) \n\n",
"The day had been going as slow as it possibly could before time would come to a halt. For the third time in a row, she had pressed the 'cleaning program' button instead of the 'double espresso' one, ruining a freshly ground batch of coffee beans again. 'Right, Jenny,' said her supervisor, mrs. Reed peering over her shoulder like a personal space invader. 'Maybe you go clean the display windows if you're so keen on cleaning: even you can hardly screw that up.' \n\nWith an audible exhalation, Jenny threw down her coffee-stained tea towel, grabbed the glass cleaner and walked around the counter to expiate her shift. As she bent over to start cleaning the filthy-greasy-finger-stained glass surface, she noticed someone had left their sunglasses on the ledge. Throwing a semi-inconspicuous look around, she bent her knees, closed her fingers around the accessoire and slid it into her pocket. 'The fuck are you doing, Jen?' mrs. Reed called over. 'Cleaning the stupid display like you said,' she replied in a grumpy mumble.\n\nAs Reed turned her back, Jenny got hold of the glasses, turned her back on her supervisor and had a look at the glasses. They weren't sunglasses; they were regular glasses. They looked a bit spacey, hip, but the glass was clear. She polished them with her rag and looked through them. \n\nFunny; she could see fine through them. They didn't look like glasses for half-blind people at all. Half-amused, she put them on and carried on cleaning. Her reflection looked semi-attractive, she thought, and she was very close to having fun, when the door opened. She looked up and back, and noticed something was off. The bloke coming in looked normal all right: beanie hat, styled moustache, leather shoulder bag, skinny jeans: a normal coffee shop visitor. But he had an aura of... of tiny writing. She leaned in. '27' it said, and 'Archer', and.. ha, this could earn her a tip. \n\n'A black, organic filter coffee to go, I assume?' she said. Not having noticed her before, he looked startled. \n\n'eh, yea... thanks.' he said. She winked, feeling quite clever, and went around the counter to make him one, highly aware of Reed's piercing look. \n\n'Three twenty please,' she grinned. He gave her five and to keep the change. Jenny wiggled her eyebrows at her staggered supervisor and went on to clean the shop. A few more customers dropped in, and she was ever more cheerful. \n\nOnce again, the door opened. 'Jenny!' a sparkling voice acclaimed. Sophie! Her heart jumped. Jenny turned around so fast her head spun even after she had arrived in the intended position. \n\n'What may it be, my noble beauty?' she asked in the smokiest voice she could conjure up, eyeing the girl by the door over her glasses. She lifted her chin to see through the glasses and come up with Sophie's favourite drink. She had to admit with shame that she didn't know this, although they had been dating for over a month. \n\nWait.\n\n\n'Are you okay, Jenny? I'd love a cappuccino, regular milk, loads of foam, no cocoa and... what are you staring at, babe?' \n\nJenny scanned the tiny writing that surrounded the bubbly, flirty girl with her silvery blonde bob, her enormous green eyes and her pink fluffy sweater. \n\n'Age: 23\nInterests: musical theatre, cocktail nights, interior design, art galleries\nDrinks: Cosmopolitan, Cappuccino (regular milk, loads of foam, no cocoa, sweetener), raspberry lemonade\nSexual orientation: straight'\n\nJenny dropped her window cleaner, shattering it over the floor of the small store. 'WHAT?' she exclaimed.\n\n-'A cappuccino, please, honey, regular mi-' \n\n'You're STRAIGHT?'\n\n-'eh, what the hell are you talking about? You know I'm bi...'\n\n'We've been dating for over a month, you obnoxious cow!'\n\n-'I actually only came here for a cappuccino, and...'\n\n'Get your stupid cappuccino elsewhere, queerbaiting homophobic shitface!' Jenny barked. \n\nSophie exited the coffee shop the reverse way she came in, keeping her eye on Jenny, who was kicking the window cleaner around the shop now. \n\nMrs. Reed scraped her throat.\n\nJenny looked up, her hair sticking out of her ponytail in an electric manner, sweat pearling on her temples. 'WHAT'\n\n'I really cannot keep you in a job like this, Jenny, you know that. Consider this your last warning. Please go home now and take care of your... temper. See you tomorrow.' \n\n'Fine.' Jenny undid her apron and began to collect her things from behind the counter. As she was about to leave, Mrs. Reed spoke up again.\n\n'Oh, and Jenny?'\n\n'Yes?'\n\n'These glasses are a hoax. I got them from my sister, as a joke. You will notice the letters are too small to actually read.'\n\nJenny lifted the glasses up to her eyes, to notice Mrs. Reed was not bullshitting her. Nothing was legible. 'yeah..'\n\n'Yeah. Get some sleep.' \n\n\n.\n\n.\n\n\n(I'm trying to improve as a writer so I am grateful for constructive feedback at all times! Oh and English is my third language, so by all means, if I've made stupid mistakes using words wrong, please tell me. Thank you!)\n",
"I sat down drinking my coffee waiting for the all clear to return to my apartment. I thought I’d give her space while she packed, although she just barely unpacked after a short and exhausting two weeks of living together. I couldn’t help but be impressed by how quickly I wreck my relationships.\n\n It was at the end of this thought that a gentle nudge kept me from continuing another. The patron sitting next to me had bumped me as he got up. He looked down at me almost pitifully as he said his apologies. I was shamed into looking down as I mumbled my acceptance. When I looked up his pitiful stare was replaced with subtle amusement.\n\n “Have a great day.” He said with a confident smile. I was stuck with an odd sense as I watched him leave. It was like being visited by an old mentor or teacher. I looked to where he sat and resting close to me on his table was a pair of simple of black sunglasses. I looked toward the exit and thought a good deed wasn’t worth the trouble of making a scene. Instead I opted to get in line for a refill with the glasses in hand. Looking at them more closely on the inner side of the arms were odd golden glyphs depicting a scene of eyes looking into a heart. I couldn’t make out the rest.\n\nI slid them on and almost fell over from a sudden episode of dizziness. Above the man in front of me text began to come into focus.\n\nJohn Guudly\n\nAs I looked around the room names began to form and disappear as I scanned the patrons. I returned my attention to Mr. Guudly and wondered what other things these glasses might tell me.\n\nJohn Guudly- 29 year old in a relationship with Jennifer Tanner\n\t\nI was amazed by these sunglasses as they showed me whatever I wanted to know like a teleprompter scrolling matching my reading pace and curiosity. As we both got to the front of the line I knew John was everything I wasn’t. He was financially thriving as realtor, confident, and content with his life. I was struggling month to month as a cartoonist and in a wreck mentally. I envied John and I didn’t need the glasses to tell me why. He was better than me.\n\n“I’ll take an ice coffee. Creamer no sugar, Sugar.” He said with a wink.\n\n“Coming right up.” The barista, who’s name tag and text showed as Victoria Lower, said with a professional smile.\n\n“While you at it why don’t you put your number on the cup?” John asked leaning on the counter. I let out an audible scoff earning a glance from Victoria as she looked back at John.\n\n“I’m flattered, but I’m in a relationship.” She replied seemingly sincerely though her mood read irritated and relationship status single.\n\n“I don’t take no for an answer.” He pressed. I knew John superficially through the glasses, but I couldn’t imagine why a guy with his life would want more.\n\n“But you do take you coffee on ice with creamer and no sugar, and I have other orders to take.” She said placing his coffee on the counter and looking back towards me with the same professional smile she gave John.\n\nJohn’s failure didn’t linger on his face when he took his coffee and looked back at me. He grinned as he moved past me and his mood changed to superior.\n\n“Just a refill on plain black coffee for me.” I said shyly, feeling more feeble in John’s previous space.\n\n“Sure thing.” Victoria said and turned to work up a cup.\n“So do you deal with men like that often?” I asked in hopes of forgetting John’s mood at seeing me.\n\n“Yeah, even some women.” She joked though her mood read uneasy. I could guess she thought I might hit on her too. I could bet with theses sunglasses it might be easier than going in blind. But was that okay? Was it cheating or sleazy, knowing what answers to give and what topics to bring up? If I didn’t use the glasses for this what would I use them for?\n\nVictoria’s cough brought me back to the moment as she held out my coffee. I could feel my body relax as I took off the sunglasses, took my cup and returned to my seat. I put the sunglasses down on the table. What troubles will this funky pair of sunglasses bring?\n\n“Coffee Black for Mr. James Hughly. His favorite drink when he’s feeling emotionally exhausted.” Playfully said the handsome owner of the sunglasses as he sat down next to me with a bemused grin. “I’m sure you can guess why I know that.” \n"
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[WP] Humanity is considered the best jailers in the known galaxy. You are either an alien prisoner or the first non human guard assigned his first shift at the highest level security prison ever constructed. Tell us about your day and how you ended up where you are.
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"I laughed. \"Is that what they told you?\" I asked.\n\nWell, what I actually said was something closer to {Intent to seek source of erroneous information; directed to professional of equal standing in the jobplace despite greater seniority; secondary implication of lower social standing; timeframe of answering indicating lack of urgency but a desire to begin realtime conversation; seasonal tense indicating current relative location of Earth in relation to my homeworld; desire for answer to be derived from primary facts if possible; causal-professional spectrum inflection of 4} but of course the human language doesn't convey nearly all of that and my translator was shit, so that's what came out.\n\n\"Umm... yes?\" Davin replied. \n\nThat came to me as {Verbal tic indicating thought or uncertainty; affirmation of presupposed facts which also indicates uncertainty; directed to TRANSLATOR AUTO: VAST SOCIAL SUPERIOR; timeframe of answering indicating tentative agreement to realtime conversation; TRANSLATOR AUTO (SEASONAL): RELATIVE POSITION OF EARTH TO HOMEWORLD; TRANSLATION MISSING: UNKNOWN PROVENANCE OF RESPONSE REQUESTED; causal-professional spectrum inflection of 6}. God damn I hated this translator. And the human language, I supposed, but that wasn't their fault given they didn't create it intentionally.\n\n\"Who, exactly, told you this?\" I asked. My language was extremely verbose but I could also speak it an order of magnitude faster than humans spoke, so it canceled out.\n\nDavin shrugged. \"Everyone?\" He said. \"I mean, it's just something you know, right? We're the best jailers in the galaxy. We've got all the prisons, we've got who knows how many prisoners, and they don't escape. I've never really had to explain this to anyone before.\"\n\n\"I am an alien,\" I said.\n\n\"Oh? Oh!\" Davin said. The robotic body I inhabited was designed to look indistinguishable from human beings, mostly to prevent them from freaking out due to outdated revulsion instincts they hadn't yet got around to removing from their genome. \"You're the new guy!\" Davin said.\n\nI couldn't blame him for getting all four of my genders wrong; the chassis I'd chosen was the one that seemed closest to the most prominent of my current genders, {Gender Configuration 17 , subconfiguration external, lock-key pattern FC0084} but given that I'd apparently only had a choice between two, it was a bit of a compromise. Plus the translator was doing its best to use the proper autopronouns, though given it was literally the cheapest electronic translator in the galaxy that could handle my language, it was doing so poorly.\n\n\"Yes,\" I replied. \"I'm the new guy.\" I inflected that with {derisive tone indicating restatement of obvious facts} but what came out was more of a boring low-key sarcasm.\n\nAnd even though that *was* in his own language, Davin didn't pick it up. \"Wow! So you came to Earth to work in our famous prisons, huh? Learn from the best?\"\n\nI formatted a complex series of mocking statements, added an indication that Davin's social status relative to me had somehow decreased even further despite already being at its maximum distance, re-emphasized the derision, and added a note of utter disbelief. Rather than doing any of that, the translator indicated that I was laughing.\n\n\"What?\" Davin said. Aww, {wounded pride}, you are a universal constant. I took an emotion approximating pity on him.\n\n\"Okay, you already told me why you think you're the best,\" I explained. \"You have the prisons and the prisoners in this super high-tech prison.\"\n\nDavin appeared to recover some of his earlier enthusiasm. \"Right!\"\n\n\"Humans have prisons for their own kind, right?\" I asked. I already knew the answer and shouldn't have had to ask, but the translator couldn't properly indicate {beginning conversational block; socratic/rhetorical grouping seque in for short-term realtime conversation} so it was the best I could do.\n\nDavin nodded. \"Oh yeah, tons. We're pretty uncivilized by *your* standards.\"\n\nI nearly made the translator re-play the sequence that had lead to my earlier laughter, because Davin's {indication of cultural superiority despite not having a linguistic exphrase to indicate cultural superiority} was laughable. But that would require exiting the current conversational block and those are a pain to get back into, so I just kept going.\n\n\"Where are these prisons?\" I asked instead.\n\nDavin shrugged. \"I don't know. I never actually had to work one, alien prisons are the much better job. Human prisons don't have alien tech, so they're just like these big grey buildings. Our people are also big on trying to escape. And shivving. Do you know we invented shivving?\"\n\nThey hadn't, but I didn't want to hear {wounded pride due to shattering of preconceived notions of species-wide inventiveness despite not having invented linguistic exphrase to indicate species-wide inventiveness}, so I let it go. Instead, I said, \"Okay, let me rephrase that,\" which was a lot of words for {Clarifying}, the damn language was verbose in all the wrong places, \"the places where the human prisons are, what are the surrounding areas like?\"\n\nDavin seemed happy to have a question he could answer. \"Oh, they're terrible! Nobody wants to live near them. It's not actually very dangerous, but like I said, the buildings look terrible. And it usually implies a high crime rate, even though the last place you'd want to commit a crime is right next to the place where they'd put you for doing it, I mean they'd be tempted to arrest you just to save on transportation costs. Anyway, it's bad neighborhoods.\"\n\n\"*Exactly*,\" I said.\n\nDavin gave me a look that translated to {furious mental processing uncharacteristic of estimated intelligence levels}. Then he said. \"Wait, so you're saying....\"\n\nDammit, I hated {indication that recipient should conclude speaker's line of thinking to improve personal rapport}, but it was my own damn fault for using a conversational block where it was possible.\n\n\"I'm saying that, to us, Earth is that neighborhood.\"\n\n\"{wounded pride due to shattering of preconceived notions of species-wide superiority despite not being superior enough to have a linguistic exphrase to indicate species-wide superiority},\" Davin said. It sounded like some kind of noise, to me, rather than words, but there wasn't really that much of a difference when you got down to it.\n\n{end conversational block}, I said. The translator didn't say anything. Dammit! They didn't have conversational blocks? Why had I gone through all the trouble of setting one up then?\n\n\"Wait,\" Davin said, oblivious to my rage at my inferior translation technology. \"If that's true, then why did you come here? If you're not training with the best, then what reason do you have to work at the prison?\"\n\n\"Well,\" I said, \"look at the time!\" What the hell did the time of day have to do with {graceful change of subject indicating a desire to exit conversation and depart the local area}? I was seriously reassessing my decision to go cheap on the translator. Though I couldn't really afford better, given my financial situation. That was the whole reason I was here, after all.\n\nDavin was, it turned out, smarter than he'd looked. And though that didn't come anywhere close to closing the gulf of intelligence between us, it didn't stop him from coming to the correct conclusion: \"You can't get a job somewhere else! You're some kind of interstellar screwup, and this is the best you can do!\"\n\n\"Wow,\" I said, \"the weather outside is looking pretty bad.\" Dammit, translator, I don't have a window here, I can't see outside, what the hell are you doing.\n\nDavin emitted human laughter. \"Oh, this makes it worth it. I don't mind being the galaxy's prison island. I mean, yeah, it's a bit demoralizing, but on the other hand it got me a good-paying job. I can live with the shame, so long as I know you're stuck with it too.\"\n\nHe walked off, still laughing to himself.\n\nI said, also to myself, {Admittance of social conversational mistake; understanding that the conversational block had failed its postconditions; resignation to fate; directed to self; timeframe current to near future; seasonal tense indicating current relative location of my homeworld in relation to its parent star; assertion sourced from primary facts; causal-professional spectrum inflection of 2}\n\n\"It's going to be a long day.\""
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[WP] Your father takes you to see your first execution
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" My father took me here today, \n To see a man out by the bay, \n The man he used to do no good, \n Behind him drifted a figure with a black hood, \n\n\n Cold I felt with no breeze, \n Wishing daddy would help him please, \n Tall the man stood there still, \n I'll never forget that dreadful chill, \n\n\n There he dropped held by his neck, \n Was he dead, they had to double check, \n We went home and I told my mother, \n Daddy daddy, can we see another? \n\n\n*Edit: Spelling",
"The camp is quiet. The grids are running at half power. Just basic support right now. All major projects on hold. Most people are staying inside their bungalows today.\n\nFather comes for me at 800 RT. He inclines his head in lieu of saying anything.\n\n\"Do I really have to?\" I feel pathetic even asking, but I can't stop myself. \n\nHe nods, again wordlessly, then gestures for me to follow. \n\nDown the corridor we go, me in front, him behind, looming like a black moon. There's no running. No hiding. When Father's set his mind to something, it happens. There is no negotiating. I suppose that's how he came to be who he is. Or what he is. \n\nPark stands in the doorway of her bungalow as we pass. She doesn't say anything either, but gives me a look I know is meant to be comforting. It doesn't feel like anything in that moment, but I appreciate the thought.\n\nCailber isn't silent. He bars the way, glaring at Father. \"I understand the judgment well enough,\" he murmurs. \"Your laws are good laws, I won't argue. But why does the boy need to see it? He's too young. Can't you let him have his...\"\n\nFather clears his throat and Cailber shuts right up. That's how everyone is around Father. You say your piece as fast as you can, 'cause once he decides to start talking you won't have the will to go on.\n\n\"I'd bring every child here if I could,\" says Father and Cailber blanches, sinking a little into the bend in the corridor. \"It's important. They all need to know the consequences.\"\n\nCailber's brave, though. At least in comparison to the rest of us. \"It just seems cruel,\" he mutters, eyes downcast. \"That's all.\"\n\nThe conversation - if it was ever really that - is over. Father pushes me, not roughly, in the back, and I go on.\n\nWe pass through the door and step outside of B Complex. It's windy today, just like it almost always is. Red and brown-black sand swirls around us. I can hardly see, but it doesn't affect Father. He grabs my shoulder and leads me across the clearing to H Complex. Pascha's waiting inside the door.\n\n\"Now?\" he says. Father nods. Pascha disappears into the low lit building.\n\nI can hear voices, all caught up in the leaking wind. Moans and howls. Laughter and weeping. Swirling around us like red dust. \n\nFather puts a hand on my shoulder. It's almost kind. Almost fatherly. Like the way I've seen Guerin stand with his boy. Or Boyle and his son. I know, however, that it's really a warning and a barrier. He's reminding me to hold my ground. That there's no running here.\n\nPascha comes back. He's followed by Christmas and Yu and a third in between. The one in between is wearing a black hood and failing against Christmas and Yu, but they're both too strong. They settle the hooded man down in the center of the open space and look up. Both notice me and give a start. Yu even opens his mouth as if to say something, but closes it back up. They know Father too well.\n\n\"Rape,\" says Father, slow, articulate, meaningful. \"Murder. There's no tolerance for that here. And there never will be.\" He motions to Pascha who pulls off the hood.\n\nKyran blinks in the dim light, fills his lungs with air, as if readying a scream or a curse, but then his eyes get to me and the air goes all out of him. \n\n\"Blake?\" he whispers. \"Why...\" His eyes swim up to Father's face. I've never seen anyone so hurt before. So broken. \"Don't. Father, please, don't. Don't make him watch this. Don't. Don't.\"\n\n\"There's no tolerance here,\" repeats Father. \"There never will be. You forgot that. I can only hope your brother won't.\"\n\n\"Blake!\" screams Kyran. \"Please! *Don't look!*\" \n\nFather's hand is on the back of my neck. I can feel the skin of my face pulled back. I couldn't close my eyes if I wanted to.\n\nBut I don't. I know I need to see this.\n\nAnd I know, in some way, I want to see this.\n\nA gun goes off nearby. My hearing drops out. My eyes are on Kyran's as he separates from himself, into pieces, into atoms.\n\n\"No tolerance,\" I whisper. \n\nI'm crying and I'm scared to find I don't really know why. ",
"\"Dad, what are we doing here?\" I pulled on my father's pants, not knowing where I was. There were several doors down the corridor we were walking and they were all grey and I was really scared.\n\nMy dad was silent and his face showed no feelings. He pulled my hand, dragging me along, following the man in the uniform up ahead.\n\nWhere was this place? Dad had woken me early in the morning for no reason. I had made a lot of noise, but in the end we had ended up in the car. I wished mum was at home, she wouldn't have gotten me to wake up so early.\n\nWe stopped near the end of the corridor, in front of a door with \"Chamber 17\" written on it. The man in the uniform pushed open the door for us, and then Dad and I walked in.\n\nThere were already four people sitting in the room that we entered. They turned around to glance at us when we entered, and I realised one thing. They all had the same eyes as Dad. They were all red, like how my eyes looked after I cried.\n\nI was scared. I noticed that there was a glass window that everyone was facing, showing another room which was all white. There was also a chair right in the middle of the room. It seemed rather creepy, which didn't help me feel any better.\n\nDad and I sat down and I asked him again, \"Dad, what are we doing here?\" He looked at me, his eyes looked like they were watering. But he didn't answer me, and just looked back at the window.\n\nWhat was really happening? Everyone sat in silence until all of a sudden, a door in the other room opened up and four people walked in, and they sat someone right down in the chair. People started attaching tubes and needles to the person's arm.\n\nThe other four people in my room started sobbing again. I turned to Dad and I could see him trying to keep still, although he was trembling and his eyes were watering again.\n\nWho was this person in the chair? I looked at her. She had brown hair, just like me, and her eyes were blue, just like mine. She looked really familiar. She looked old though, and tired. Her eyes were drifting everywhere, and there was no feeling in her eyes.\n\nThere was a brief moment of silence as everyone sat quietly, staring at the woman, and the woman stared back. I don't think she could see us though, she wasn't looking at anything in particular.\n\nThen a voice from the other room. \"Is there any last words the prisoner would like to say?\"\n\nI held on to my chair, waiting for what the prisoner was going to say. I was still trying to remember who she was.\n\nThen she spoke. \"I'm sorry. For everything.\"\n\nAnd her voice chimed in my head. It rung so loudly in my head, and I knew straight away that I knew that voice. \n\nI could barely move. \n\n\"We will now begin the execution.\"\n\nI could feel Dad slowly stand up. But I couldn't stand, I couldn't do anything. I could only think in my head, 'no'.\n\nThe chair was lowered. And Dad stood up straight, walking to the window, his hands now on the window.\n\nI could only sit and watch.\n\nMum."
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[WP] He smiles charmingly. The sky falls.
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"\"You wouldn't dare!\" \n\nThe control bot bobbed by his head, circling his wrist like a small moon. The engine of the mechabike gave a smooth purr as it hovered into the air, just beyond the reach of the robots on the platform below. \n\n\"Wouldn't I?\" he smiled. The control bat flashed and the vast panels of the manofactorum planet shifted and groaned above them. Streaks of electric light winked out across the metal panes, replaced by an emergency red glow. \n\n\"You'll be executed for this! You'll be wanted all over galactic space!\" \n\nHe stared down at the collection of cyborg soldiers on the ground behind him. He stared at the sky panels groaning above them. \n\nHe flexed his wrist. The control bot beeped and the panels began to dip downwards with a loud crashing. \n\n\"After him!\" \n\nHe didn't look back, charging the bike towards the fragmenting panels with a wild laugh. ",
"I sat down at the table. I was twenty minutes early. I was always early when I was nervous. I took the seat facing towards the wall; I didn’t think I could bear staring at the door, the anticipation would kill me. I chose the corner table, it was the furthest from the door, I don’t know why I did that; every time I heard the stupid door open my breath would stop and my heart would pound out of my chest. The idea was to reduce anticipation by removing my vision, not making it more intense by relying on my hearing alone, ugh, what a dumb idea. My position to the door meant that it sounded like everyone was walking towards me, and every set of footsteps took an eternity to find their seat. And of course, every time that door opened, I listened to the footsteps. Were they heavy? Were they soft? Were they headed my way? What kind of shoes could those be? \n\nSnap out of it!\n\nI shook my head, three minutes had passed. No. Frickin’. Way. Seventeen minutes until it was time. Why the hell did I get there so early? Couldn’t there have been some traffic? There was always traffic but for some reason on that one day the roads were as clear as the sky. The sky was just that too, clear. It was such a beautiful day! The sun was shining so bright, almost too bright, and the clouds were big white and fluffy, but spread out enough to just compliment the sun instead of obscure it. They looked like big cuddly animals in the sky, oh boy what I wouldn’t have given to snuggle up to my cat right then. \n\nThat little dork always made me feel better; he was the only thing I knew that consistently looked as anxious and terrified of the world around him, as me. He was a grey scottish fold with amber eyes, his name was Headlights. I know the name always sounded so dumb to say aloud, and I didn’t even really have a good nickname for him, but the name meant something to me, and we had a connection. People always told me I always looked like a deer in the headlights, and when I saw his adorable little face with his ears down, trembling ever so slightly, I thought the same thing of him. Sometimes it feels pretty lame to say I saw myself in a cat, but it was the first time I felt like something alive identified with my feelings, even if just by appearance.\n\nI caught myself daydreaming of Headlights. I glanced down to my phone; another three minutes had passed. UNBELIEVEABLE! Only three minutes, it felt like I was thinking of that adorable bastard for at least ten minutes. I was in my own little world. Then I noticed myself playing with my hair. I hated playing with my hair, but I could never seem to help myself. I would twirl it around my fingers, pick out the split ends, straighten it back out, put it on my upper lip like a mustache… Hey I’m not proud of it but it was an anxious tick! It always meant I had something on my mind.\n\nI did have something on my mind. \n\nWhat would he think? What would he say? Will he like me? Will he think I’m cute? Will he be disgusted by me? Turned off by my anxiety? Oh god will he notice my split ends? I hope he likes coffee, this place has nothing else going for it… He better not have a cat allergy Headlights is non negotiable… SHIT! I don’t know how to cook lasagna, didn’t he say that was his favorite?\n\nRelax! Close your eyes! Deep breaths! \nOne... \nTwo... \nThree... \n\nI calmed myself down enough to stop panicking. I checked my phone again, another three minutes. What the hell is with this three minute crap? My subconscious was either the best at keeping time or father time himself was playing a cruel joke. Eleven minutes left until he was due to arrive. I looked out of the window into the sky, it was such a beautiful day, so warm, so sunny. Somehow though, I felt distant all of a sudden.\n\nIt was like the whole world stretched out, everything felt… surreal. I was sitting there in my chair staring out into the sky, the warmth of the sun hitting my face, but I still felt so cold. A chill swept across me, a shiver traveled up my spine; I wasn’t happy. It was strange though, because as I stared out into the world around me, particularly up into that big beautiful blue, clear sky, with Headlights occasionally staring back down at me, I knew I was surrounded by happiness. I knew I was surrounded by everything I needed to make me feel happy but somehow I just didn’t. It felt like I was surrounded in a bubble. A cold damp bubble that kept out all the happy things in the world. In my little bubble I was doomed to float along while all the birds and bees, all the wonderful smells of the flowers, all the big fluffy clouds and all the rays of the sun were powerless to reach me. As I stared up into the sky, my sky, I realized all the things and feelings I had ever wanted were suspended just out of reach, dangling above me. There I was, Tantalus, reaching up to the fruits I had longed for, and just as I got within grasp, somehow, the fruit would elude my grip. I needed something to just help me grab it -- my fruit, my happiness. Something was missing, something that was going to bring it all together for me.\n\nI heard the door open; I snapped out of my trance. I quickly glanced at my phone to see that another six minutes had passed. Five minutes left until he was due to arrive. Five minutes was going to be an eternity, especially after the eternity I had already endured.\n\nThe door opened again. I checked my phone, five minutes left. I really need to stop doing this to myself. My hands were trembling as they handled my phone. I must have looked like Headlights, sitting there, wide eyed, slouching in my chair, trembling a little.\n\nWait, the footsteps didn’t stop. Normally the footsteps stopped right at the counter or one of the booths by the door, why would anyone head towards the table in the corner?\n\nI checked my phone. Four minutes until he was due to arrive. It isn’t him, no way. I put my phone back on the table and tried to sit still.\n\nThe footsteps didn’t stop. These footsteps were at least halfway to me by now, why haven’t they stopped? There is no way there isn’t an open booth, this diner has terrible food.\n\nI checked my phone. Four minutes until he was due to arrive. No. This wasn’t him. I kept my phone in my hands this time, I needed to keep my hands busy. I noticed I was bouncing my left leg up and down too. Oh what the hell is wrong with me? Couldn’t I just sit still!\n\nThe footsteps didn’t stop. They were loud now, probably about seventy-five percent of the way to my table.\n\nOh god. It’s him. He’s early. It has to be, there is no way someone would walk all the way back into this stupid corner to take a table next to a trembling doe in the corner. I probably looked like something was wrong with me.\n\nThe footsteps didn’t stop.\n\nI froze. All the cold around me got the better of me. The anxiety, the sadness, it turned me to ice. I couldn’t breathe, I just wanted to disappear, but it was too late. Those footsteps were right behind me.\n\nJust then, I felt a strong, warm hand, rest on my shoulder, and I looked up as he rounded himself to face me.\n\n“You’re early Leah.” He breathed.\n\n“Oh you have no idea Noah.” I retorted, obnoxiously. I turned bright red. What did I just say? I didn’t mean it quite as harsh as it came out! I was only kidding! Did I blow my chance?\n\nThen something happened I couldn’t have predicted. Instead of being offended, instead of ignoring it, he sensed my humor. He smiled charmingly, and just as he cracked that smile, he cracked the sky. In that moment the sky came down onto me hard. All the happiness, all the bees, the flowers, the fluffy clouds, Headlights, all came crashing down into me at terminal velocity.\n\nNo longer was I Tantalus, reaching for the fruits I so desired. Noah showed me exactly what I needed. I needed companionship, I was lonely, I wanted to share my life with someone. Noah would bring it all together for me. His grin gave me the sky and my comfort, his touch gave me the warmth of the sun, and his laughter was the sweetest fruit I could have imagined.\n\nI guess you could have said I was getting ahead of myself, but I knew I wasn’t. When someone can make you feel like you belong so effortlessly, can wash away your anxiety with just a word or a touch, can dispel your sadness by just being near, and crack the sky with just a smile, you hold onto that person as tight as you can, because you know deep down, you’re meant to be.\n"
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Bonus points if the thing is massive and undulating and could never be mistaken for a cat.
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[WP] An elderly lady adopts an ancient eldritch abomination, thinking it's a cat.
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"'Come along now, Sweetums. Eat up,\". The old lady bent over, and lay down a tray full of cat food in front of Sweetums. Sweetums stretched out a dark tentacle, and scooped some food from the tray. It lifted the tentacle to it's shapeless face, and the food disappeared. The old lady smiled. \n\n\"Good girl, Sweetums,\". Sweetums growled softly. Another cat owned by the old lady tried to eat Sweetum's food. A single red eye appeared in Sweetum's face, glaring at the cat. The cat froze, and hissed. The cat ran off down a dimly lit hallway, many pictures of cats framed along the hall. At the front was a picture of Sweetums, her eye encompassing the entire frame. The old lady (Gertie, as she was known by friends) hit Sweetums on a tentacle with her walking stick.\n\n\"Be polite to Mr. Snazzy, Sweetums. You know he likes his friends to share,\"\nSweetums growled softly, and stretched out another tentacle to scoop some more food into her mouth. Gertie sighed.\n\n\"You aren't a very nice cat. Why, everyone seems scared of you! Even Sofia, and she is one tough cookie,\" Gertie looked behind her, and she could see several glowing eyes in a pile of clothes and other objects. \n\"They're all hiding in there, scared of you. And look at you, you're so little,\". \n\nSweetums raised its face to Gertie, its head brushing against the roof of the apartment. Gertie sighed.\n\n\"And no one wants to train you, they all run away screaming the moment they see you,\". Sweetums groaned creakily, stretching its thousands of tentacles through the apartment. It drew them back to itself with an eerie sigh. Gertie smiled.\n\n\"Aw, having a stretch are you? Come here, give Gertie a hug,\". Gertie hobbled up to Sweetums. and opened her arms up. She hugged onto Sweetums giant torso, her arms not even halfway around Sweetum's massive, dark body. Sweetums stretched out all of its tentacles, wrapping around Gertie, and began to purr. Gertie smiled and buried her face in Sweetums, snuggling close. Sweetum's red eye appeared, and looked down at Gertie. It seemed to smile, from somewhere in the mass of its black, smoky head. "
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[WP] You came back as a ghost after being murdered suddenly. Curious about who your killer was, you followed the detectives trying to solve your case.
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"\"Oh thank god. You're back.\"\n\nDetective Harris threw his leather jacket onto the back of his chair and took a gulp of his coffee as he looked at the new crime scene pictures that had been placed on the wall.\n\n\"Your partner is a fool.\" I continued \"first of all, tell him to stop texting at work. It's disrespectful, it's distracting, and quite frankly she won't want a second date if he doesn't tone it down.\"\n\nHarris rearranged the pictures, grunting as the sticky notes listing clues were moved into new places. \n\n\"Second thing, and this is something he'll want to know, tell him I don't smoke anymore.\"\n\nHarris tapped the picture of the side table. The ashtray held three short mounds of grey powder. \n\n\"What is this?\" He said softly.\n\n\"I just said. I quit smoking but there's ash in ...\"\n\nDetective Harris left the room, shouting to his partner to meet him at the lab. I sighed and followed them out. \n\n\"... friends said they quit six months ago.\"\n\nI was hanging around the doorway. I didn't want to go back in the lab in case I was still in there. I mean the rest of me. My body. Yea that had been ... uncomfortable. Looking at your own body from the outside felt wrong. But looking at your body as they weighed your liver was worse. I guessed my autopsy was over but I didn't want to take the chance some parts were still out on display.\n\nAnyway I knew how I died. I remember going home, walking into the house, the bang, pain, blood, the end. It was hard to forget your own murder. What I didn't remember was who shot me. It was dark and it happened so fast, I'd had no time to really look at who had been hiding in the house. But someone had killed me. And it was killing me not to know who. Or why. \n\nTurns out of you have a strong enough will you can ... stay behind. Or maybe take a later flight out. I don't know how it works, but the point was I'd come back or whatever just as the first police car had arrived at the house and found me.\n\nLong story short I just ... started hanging around. I wanted answers so I stuck with the two guys who had been given my case. It would have been better if they'd been able to see or hear me but I guess I can't have everything.\n\nI automatically jumped back as the doors swung open and Harris and Lane left the lab. \n\n\"Whoever was there must have been waiting. It was a trap.\" Lane said as his pen scratched over the pages of his notebook. \n\n\"It was personal.\" Added Harris \"they were comfortable. Smoking. Waiting. Maybe, the empty cup in the sink ...\" \n\n\"I didn't leave anything in the sink.\" I say.\n\n\"The killer was relaxed. Made themselves at home. Wasn't concerned about being seen there. Fitted in. A regular?\" Harris nodded as he spoke. I shook my head.\n\n\"No cause I don't let them in the house. Clients were only seen at the office.\" I laughed slightly \"in fact I only let ... my friends ... in.\" I stopped as the words came from my mouth. I'd assumed it'd had been a stranger. Random. But ... \n\n\"Find out about the friends.\" Harris was talking faster now as he mentally lined up his tasks. \"The tall one was chewing nicotine gum. The red head had at least two lighters on her. Get statements and casually ask where they were before they got to the crime scene. And see where the sister was. And if she smokes.\"\n\n\"She doesn't smoke\" I weakly called out after them \" she quit ... with ... me.\"\n\nSuddenly I wasn't certain if I wanted to know everything after all."
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[WP] after falling asleep in a sensory deprivation tank you awake and find the city in ruins.
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"*Session Complete, Capsule Opening*\n\nThe tank's lid slowly lifted open, and the all-too-familiar cacophony of the world came crashing in.\n\nOnly this time, it was different. It was quieter.\n\nI removed my sleeping mask, and waited a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light. Once they did, my lungs tightened in my chest and it took a moment for me to accept what I was seeing.\n\nSerenity Spa was a pile of rubble around me. Nearly everything in the establishment looked like it had been crushed into pieces and forgotten for years.\n\n**Oh shit**\n\n\"How long have I been in here!?\" I asked audibly, to no one in particular.\n\nI tried to lift myself out of the tank but my legs were still asleep. I reached for my pocket to grab my cell phone but found nothing. I remembered that I had left it behind the desk before my session began.\n\n\"HELLO!!\" I yelled. \"IS THERE ANYONE ELSE HERE?\"\n\nNo response.\n\nAfter a few minutes of silence, my legs seemed lively enough to hold my weight. I crawled out of the tank, and carefully made my way through the destruction towards the front desk.\n\nI felt like I already knew the answer, but I had to be sure. I reached behind the remaining portion of the desk and found the previous location of the bin full of phones and keys. It was gone.\n\n\"Shit.\"\n\nI carefully exited the day spa through a massive hole in the wall, and looked down the street. Everything was like this. The entire area had been subjected to some sort of attack or something.\n\nI looked up and saw the sun directly above me. It must be roughly noon. I need to find my way home, somehow.\n\n**FTANG**\n\nLike a turtle, my head impulsively withdraws towards my chest, and my knees give out a bit. My hands shoot up and I dive towards cover.\n\n\"What the fuck was that?\" I panted, frantically.\n\n\"Hands up dude, or the next one hits your dome-piece!\" A strange voice yelled towards me.\n\nI obliged. My hands slowly emerged from behind my cover and I looked up over the edge at my attacker.\n\nIt was a kid. Well, a young man. He looked maybe 16.\n\n\"You real, or one of them?\" He said, with one eye still focused behind the scope of his rifle.\n\n\"Uh, one of who?\" I replied.\n\n\"SHOW ME YOUR STOMACH!\" He screamed.\n\n\"Oh shit, ok just a second. Take it easy.\" I mumbled as I reached down to lift up my shirt.\n\nI was trembling in terror. What the hell happened while I was in that tank?\n\n\"Good. You can put your shirt down. Sorry about that, but you understand.\" The kid said.\n\n\"No problem. Uhh, and sorry but I don't understand. This might sound crazy, but I just woke up in a sesory deprivation tank over there, like 15 minutes ago. What in the world happened today!?\" I asked.\n\nHe looked at me quizzically.\n\n\"Are you serious?\" He asked.\n\n\"Completely. I wouldn't mess with you man. I'll show you my stomach again.\" I said.\n\nHe started laughing at me.\n\n\"Dude, we were attacked by aliens.\" He said.\n\nI couldn't process the words.\n\n\"I'm sorry?\" I said.\n\n\"Don't be. You didn't do anything. We were attacked without much warning, like four days ago. They came in and started slaughtering us left and right, on a global scale, we think.\"\n\n\"Who is we?\" I asked. \"And did you say four days!?\"\n\n\"Yeah man.\" He replied casually. \"I guess that tank thing must have glitched out during all the chaos. You're lucky it let you out at all. You must be hungry. Come with me, and I'll show you who 'we' are.\"\n\nThe kid turned and started walking. I collected myself, took a deep breath, and followed after him."
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Write a story set in your favorite time period. It can be about anything so long as it is historically accurate.
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[WP] Write a period piece
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"The eternal disembowelment suffered by Prometheus was merely a pin prick compared to the carnage the uterus inflicted on my body. The terrible rage of the uterus scorned, childless and barren, was enough to send me into visceral fits of pain, terror, anxiety; perpetually hopeful that the torment would cease, yet perpetually met with suffering greater than the human mind could comprehend. The crimson river rapids violently flowed and turbulently disturbed the natural order, torrentially carrying along whatever debris was in its way. The shattering earthquake that ripped through the body numbed the mind and heightened the senses to pain hitherto unimaginable, shaking me to my core, bringing me to my knees. When at last the maelstrom of Mother Nature ceased, my disquieting agony brought to an end, I was relieved to be through the horror. Until next month of course."
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[WP] The sun has just risen for the first time in 14 years
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"The last time I had seen it I was only four years old. \n\nAnd as with any memory, it faded with age until all i was left with was a vague image and the fleeting feeling of warmth. It was the feeling that had stayed with me all these years, like a memory that my skin held onto, the warm kiss of the sun's rays, and ever since it had craved for more, always there in the back of my mind, a hunger that may never be sated again. Humans need sunlight. That was what I was told. But we don't always get what we need. And so I've lived with the thirst for fourteen long years now. \n\nI have lived underground for all of my life along with the rest of humanity. No one knows why we did. Those are memories long past and forgotten. But we do know a little of the world as it was before the Darkness took over. Few photos and books have survived, but those that did painted a much more vibrant picture of the earth, filled with greenery and light, warmth and a life above ground, animals and seasons and weather, of cities that grew up instead of down.\n\nI had lost myself in the stories far too many times. I knew them all by heart. There wasn't much else to do in the colony otherwise besides working and surviving day by day. There were few kids my age growing up and even still kids are few and far between. Mother told me that people have given up, that our time is coming to an end and we too shall be just a memory. There's always a sadness to her voice when she tells me this, but I found myself agreeing with those people more and more each year that passes in total darkness. \n\nThe earth was uninhabitable, the land a cold wasteland devoid of life. The colony is the only ting that sustains us, keeps us warm, let's us carry on with our meager existence. The light within always seemed so dull compared to the sun, but my four year old mind was compromised by my immense imagination. Things always seemed grander back then, full of hope, until reality sets in little by little, year by year.\n\nNaturally, like my mother and father and almost everyone in the colony, my skin was pale, borderline translucent. Thirsty for the sun. \n\nThe sun. \n\nIt invaded my thoughts almost daily. It was like a sliver of hope for humanity. If the sun came back, maybe, just maybe we could claw our way back from the brink of extinction, live life the way it was supposed to be lived. But there was no hope and mine was dwindling as well.\n\nI dreamed nightly of green as far as the eye could see, of warmth that soaked down into my bones chasing the chill away. It was hard for me to imagine, the only references I had to go on were old and faded, memories of memories.\n\nThe last time the sun rose it was only briefly, teasing us with a hope that was soon dashed mere hours later as it set once again. The whole colony gathered around the atrium under the great glass dome. Bright orange light had melted the ever present layers of ice and snow enough to stream rays down into the colony. everyone avoided it at first, then slowly, one by one we each took turns stepping into the bright column of light. My eyes stung and I had to squint when it was my turn. I had never felt anything like it before in my short life, but my body seemed to know that this is what it was missing. How could we live without something so essential to who we are as a species?\n\nAnd then it was gone. I wish I had been older when it had happened so I could have fully appreciated it. But my memory would just have to do for now. I still had hope, no matter how small a sliver it was, that I would see it again. Hope that dwindled with each passing year.\n\nTen days had passed as usual, but there was something odd. My body grew antsy and I couldn't figure out why. The air seemed less biting and there was a different energy about the colony, though no one could explain it. Little did we know that our life was about to change. \n\nOn the eleventh day I awoke to a frenzy that stirred the colony. People rushed to the central atrium. My heart aflutter, I quickly dressed and joined the masses as the gathered around in a circle under the glass dome.\n\nAt first I didn't see it, and then all at once I did and all the memories from the last time washed through me, enveloping me in their fuzzy warmth. At first it was only a speck in the ice above. The room was silent as we all watched, our attention rapt, at the growing yellow-orange dot until, and it seemed like hours had passed, it finally broke through and a sliver of light beamed down onto the floor. \n\nEveryone gasped at once in awe laced with a relief so subtle it was easy to miss if you weren't keen to those sorts of things. But I was and I felt it as palpable as my own. But something else began to stir within me, hope. I wasn't naive to think I would ever run through a verdant field in my lifetime, but at least now I knew that the sun hadn't given up on us yet. \n\nLike all those years ago, we each took turns standing under the beam of bright light. I shifted from foot to foot as I awaited my turn. This was it. I was going to have the chance to experience, really savor the sun like I didn't when I was a child. The memory played in the back of my mind over and over again. \n\nAnd then, it was my turn. I hesitated before stepping into the light. My memory becoming a monolith in my mind. What if it doesn't live up to the last time? Then my memory of it would be forever ruined. But I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by. I took a deep breath and stepped into the ray.\n\nIt took a moment before I could feel the warmth along my skin and it seeped down into my cold bones. I close my eyes to revel in the feeling. It was everything that I thought it would be. Immediately I was transported to a field of wild flowers under a great blue sky, bright and warm. My body seemed to soak up the sun like a towel drank water. I was lost to my own reverie until I was yanked out of it suddenly by a gentle hand on my shoulder letting me know my turn was over. \n\nIt took everything that I had to tear myself away from it all and step back into cold reality. Dullness set in over me once again as I left the sun's embrace. Mother wrapped an arm around my shoulders, but the heat was no where near that of the sun. Nothing we had in the colony would ever be able to match that.\n\nA few hours had passed and the column of light began to fade once more, growing dimmer and dimmer, taking with it the hope that had ignited within me. \nI wasn't ready for it to go. No one was. I could see the despair in their eyes. For many, I would later learn, that small bit of hope was crueler than if they had never seen the sun again. The ray faded back into the warm dot in the glass and as quickly as it had come, it was soon gone, leaving behind the empty darkness once more. \n\nThe crowd dispersed and I was left alone under the glass dome, staring up, lost in my memories both recent and old. I had felt the sun for the second time in my life. How lucky I felt in that moment to see, to feel such a wonderful thing. Because where there is light, there is hope, even if it was just a sliver of it. ",
"**Burning Sky**\n\n“Burning sky, the sky is burning!” I yelled as I rushed back into an underground cave we lived in. It was a magnificent city below the ground, carved into rock by sheer will to survive years before I was born and its walls were the only thing I saw before I could climb the walls and escape my mother’s watchful gaze. I had been playing outside, learning the tricks so I could one day escape the boring cave and venture into the ice pillars that stood just out of my reach but then something appeared. The sky turned into the colour of fire and approach me faster than I could think it could move. Of course I turned around immediately and rushed back inside trying to reach my family and warn as many as I could of the burning sky. I had seen what fire can do, uncontrolled fire could consume a harvest and put all of us in danger, and now the whole sky was on fire. I passed our gardeners, keepers of our crops and the dullest people around, but I didn’t focus on them as I tried to reach my family before being consumed by the sky.\n\nI raised quite a stir with my run through the city. My father came out to meet me as I yelled for him and immediately jumped to his arms which were open and ready. “What is wrong, my boy?”\n\n“The sky,” I panted, “the sky is on fire”. My father’s eyes widened and he lowered me onto the ground, lowering himself to my level, I wasn’t as tall as many of the others my age so he had to dip quite low.\n\n“What did it look like?” he asked, seemingly undisturbed by the news I had just brought. “Did it look beautiful, the brightest of fires?”\n\n“Yes, it could be beautiful but it’s approaching and we’ll all be consumed by it!” I cried into him as he brought me closer to a hug.\n\n“No, my son, do you see the others run away, or are they radiating with excitement?” I looked around and could see almost the whole city moving in mass towards the cave’s opening. Tears still flowing from my scared eyes I looked to my father and asked: “Where are they going, are they not afraid of death?”\n\n“It is not death that is coming, son, it is life.” He lifted me back up to his arms and I could finally see mother behind him. She approached me and cupped my face into her hands, smiling softly at me. “Don’t worry, honey, you’ll see the most beautiful sight soon, and you’ll see the world as our ancestors saw it.”\n\nI couldn’t understand what she meant by that but I didn’t say anything as my father carried me on his shoulder. The whole city seemingly had gathered outside, leaving the farms and aqueducts unattended. I looked at my father’s face and could see tears flowing out of his eyes and my mother leaning against his shoulder and holding my hand softly. Then I looked at the crowd around me and followed their smiling gazes to the fire in the sky. It had grown larger, burning brighter than before and now the stars that filled the sky were covered with a blue and orange curtain. I stared in awe and fright as a ball of fire that burned my eyes rose in the horizon. I could feel the warmth immediately, my clothes seemed to suffocate me and all I could see was a purple spot as I closed my eyes. “Beautiful” I heard all around me and I opened my eyes once more. The snow that I could barely see before glistened in front of me for as far as I could see and the pillars of ice in the distance seemed so much more real to me now than ever before.\n",
"**Nuclear Winter**\n\nIt touched the valleys, it touched the glades \nIt touched the alleys and window shades \nIt slipped into long dead bowers \nIt tried to bring life back to flowers\n\nIt showered the planet with gentle care \nLike hesitant fingers in a lover’s hair \nIt tried to wipe off the cruel mark \nOf fourteen years’ cold, hard dark\n\nIt touched the bridges, now gone to rust \nIt touched radioactive, soot-black dust \nIt went down searching, it went down grieving \nFor anything warm, anyone *living*"
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I imagine on a larger campus like mine, factions would form based on Majors or perhaps Greek Life, tell me about your own experiences.
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[WP] Your university campus is in a pocket of safety from the nuclear annihilation which has devastated your entire surrounding area. How does your campus survive the coming years?
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"05/16/2032\n It had been 15 years since the Fallout had struck. We still had connection with the outside world, but the radiation in the area around us was so pervasive.... no one could get in or out. But that hardly mattered, since there were hardly enough people in the world left to mount a rescue. We had become our own society, sheltered in the shadow of the mountains surrounding the campus. We used the Library as a sort of town-hall, the gym for a prison for those deemed \"unfit to be in society\" or \"too dangerous to let free\". We had converted several dorms into indoor farms, simply to supply the several thousand students with enough food to eke out an existence. Of course, I say \"we\" simply because it's easier than specifying that I'm one of the survivors that's \"unfit to be in society\". I'm waiting for them to take me to my sham of a hearing as I write this. Hopefully I will be able to continue.\n\n05/19/2032\n Let me recap my hearing, dear journal, as best I can.\n I was escorted to the Library by a set of tall, dark men. They were understandably silent, as it's hard to talk without a tongue. Once in the Library, I was forced into a kneeling position before an old conference table where the Council of Justice sat to decide my case. The 8 of them were all different, but still remarkably similar. I saw Blair, a former Theater major, sitting on the far end. She had her hair cropped close to her face, and dyed a light pink color. Amazing that effort still goes into making hair dye in this era. I scanned down the line until I saw another familiar face, Niara, 5th from the end. She had been a Gender and Ethnic Studies major. Now she sat in judgement of me, her mouth rested in an open, yet somehow disapproving, fish-gape. The last person I recognized was Rebecca. 2nd from the right. I don't remember her major, but she stands out among this group. Even with her hair trimmed short and.... well... butch.... she stood out as the only one of the women on this Council of European descent. It was not long before they deemed fit to read me my crimes.\n 1) Evasion of the Criminal Capture Team for no less than the 9 years the Campus government had been in place\n 2) Stealing of supplies such as food, medicine, and clothing from the society.\n 3) Being a member of the Old Victors\n i) Skin color and heritage\n ii) Sexual Orientation\n iii) Gender Identity \n\n  I knew going in I would be treated with more than contempt, and that I would not be given anything other than the harshest punishment allowed. So it was no surprise when they said I would be Euthanized for the betterment of society. Of course, Euthanasia is different than it used to be. Before.... it was peaceful. Humane even. But now.... beaten to death by what were once friends can hardly be called peaceful. My date is set for tomorrow. Goodbye journal, I will miss you, even though I carry you to my end. \n\n\n\n \n\n 05/21/2032\n I have escaped, thanks to you, dear Journal. I only have a few moments to write this before I must once again resume my flight. Hopefully I will have time to update you soon. Someone may one day find you, after the radiation fades, and they need to know of the horrors from which I escaped. I shall write again soon...\n\n\n\nI'll continue if ya'll want. But lemme know what you think!!!"
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[WP] Trees Feel Pain.
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"Jon trudged along the snow ridden path. He listened to the freezing gales howling through the dark sky, trying to tear away the warmth clinging feebly to his body. Gathering his arms closer, the grizzled bear of man kept walking. Snow and ice pelted his body. He cared not. Men embraced the cold. Nights started to last longer. Days grew shorter- no longer did light from the sun nor the song of the sparrows greet each villager, only darkness and cold. He kept his head down, avoiding the harsh bite from the wind. He kept walking, slowly approaching the forest.\n\n*Oh, I'm such an imbecile,* he thought as he walked past the barren trees. *Lamenting for fools whilst my cock is freezing. Father left to fight in the war, only to be captured, the great git. Brother left to fight in the war, only to be slaughtered, the shite bastard. Betrayers and cowards those southern twats.*\n\n\"Never trust cunts,\" he muttered under his breath. He walked slowly into a small clearing in the woods. A single, massive tree almost as white as the snow itself stood proudly in the center. Tentatively, he reached towards the deep crevices and grooves in the trunk, remembering the days his father brought him here to pray. Closing his eyes, Jon breathed in the cold air and started praying to the old gods. For his father to be released so they could enjoy the fire by the hearth once again. For his brother to find peace in life after death. For vengeance on the bastards that stuck his brother full of bolts... For the son of a whore that chopped of his head... At a wedding.\n\n\"**SHITE CUNTS!**\" He roared into the air and unsheathed his long sword. \"**I'LL RIDE SOUTH AND KILL ALL OF YOU!**\" He swung his sword with ferocious anger into the great white tree, biting deep into the flesh. To his surprise, the tree started screaming, sap as red as blood oozing from the wound. Jon fell backwards, terror griping his heart. The crevices and grooves began to contort, forming a face in the trunk. He froze in fear. The face turned to look at him, the sword stuck in its side.\n\n\"*No*,\" the tree grimaced with it's malformed mouth. \"*Pain, so much pain. Run. The night. No, run! Coming, the night.*\" The blood red sap poured from the two notches that formed the eyes, staining the snow red. \"*He's coming. Pain, death, the end. Night.*\" The face began to form a crooked smile. \"*Pain, death, the end.*\"\n\n\"Oh fuck,\" Jon whimpered on the ground. The tree with the hideous face quietly stared at him. He slowly inched backwards, afraid the tree might uproot itself to get to him. He silently stood, keeping an eye on the tree, then he turned and ran. He ran as fast as he could back to the castle. The old gods contacted him through the godswood, warned him. He needed to get the people south as quickly as possible, for Jon knew.\n\nWinter is coming.",
"Everyday I go into the forest and chop down the biggest tree I can find.\n\t\nIt’s the dead of winter, and up here in the mountains, it gets damn *cold.* I need those suckers for firewood and the oak around here burns mighty fine.\n\t\nI’m setting out today because the weatherman said we’re boutta be slammed by a *hellacious* bout of snow. Those were his words. *Hellacious.* \n\t\nI figure I’m gonna cut down three or four of them to keep my fingers from freezin’ off. Roads’ll probably be down a week or so, and so I’ll wanna be a little overstocked, if I can.\n\t\nSame as ever, I’m carryin’ the axe pa gave me all those years ago. It’s big and red and sharp as anything. He gave it to me for my birthday because a man that lives out here is a man that’s gotta be willing to fend for himself, ya know?\n\t\nThe first tree goes down easily. It’s almost like chopping through butter.\n\t\nAfter it hits the ground with a dull thud, I move onto the next. This one’s a beaut, and I have to shield my eyes to see the top of her. I almost feel bad cuttin’ this one down.\n\t\nI rear back like a baseball player boutta knock one out of the park, but right before I take that first big hack, somethin’ speaks.\n\t\n“Don’t!” a voice screams. “Haven’t you taken enough of us?”\n\t\nI freeze in my tracks, flingin’ my head all around. Who could’ve said that? Ain’t nobody else out here for miles, and I doubt any tourists would be crazy enough to go hiking this time of year.\n\t\nAfter a second or two, I shrug it off and once against raise the axe. I must just be hearin’ things.\n\t\n“Please! Have you no heart?”\n\t\nAgain, I drop my axe to my side. Who the hell is that?\n\t\n“It’s me, the tree!”\n\t\nThat makes my eyes widen. The *tree?* Surely I must be goin’ bonkers. I bet it was that rabbit Georgie sold me. I knew it smelled a little funky but man, it just tasted so good I couldn’t stop myself.\n\t\n“You’re hurting us!”\n\t\nYeah, this must be food poisoning. Except, well, I don’t feel sick. In fact, I'm perfectly chipper.\n\t\nI look the tree up and down. I don’t see no mouth or eyes or anything else that resembles a face. There's just bark and leaves and sap.\n\t\n“I’m hurtin’ you?” I say, feeling dumb. Look at me, big man out here talking to *trees*.\n\t\n“Yes!” the tree responds. “You’ve taken so many of us, and though my brothers stay silent, I shall not!”\n\t\nI look down at my axe, feeling almost ashamed. The tree had to be lying, right? I’m not *hurtin'* them. What I’m doing is basic survival. Without the fire, I might die!\n\t\n“Where do you even take them?” the tree asked. “You chop them down and drag them away—to where?”\n\t\nI’m lost. Behind those words was genuine *sadness*, and I bet if it could, this tree would start cryin’. Gosh, that’s a terrible thought, isn’t it? What if I really *have* been hurtin’ these poor fellows?\n \nI can’t tell it I’d been burning them. I know it’s wrong to lie and ma would smack me in the mouth but I gotta for this tree’s sanity and my own.\n\t\n“I’ve uh…” I start, my tongue feeling like string cheese. “I’ve been plantin’ them somewhere else.”\n\t\n“You have?” the tree asks, sounding a fair bit happier. “Where?”\n\t\nI jab my thumb over my shoulder. “Thataway. Jus’ past my house.” I’m on a roll now, and so I keep going. “That lot’s empty and I figure it could use some sprucin’ up. Sorry, I probably should’ve asked y’all first.”\n\t\n“Yes, you should’ve!” the tree snaps, and for a moment, I think it’s gonna start yellin’ at me again. But then, it sighs. “Oh well. It’s fine, just please stop taking my friends!”\n\t\nI tell it I will and that I’ll leave this forest alone. After a few more seconds of small talk, I pick up the tree I'd already cut down and drag it away.\n\t\nAs I walk back to my house, I feel more miserable than a squirrel in a trap. I don’t even wanna use this tree for firewood but if I don’t then I killed it for nothing and that’s even *worse.*\n\t\nBut then, just as I get home, it hits me like a ton of bricks.\n\t\nOld Georgie sells some seeds, I think. I don’t know how many of those are for trees, but I bet if I’ll ask he’ll find me some. I can’t make up for all the damage I’ve done, but I can certainly start atonin’.\n\t\nThat lot across from me really is empty, and y’all know what? I think I’m gonna start fillin’ it up.\n***\nIf you like this story, check out my sub! r/longhandwriter"
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[WP] You make a surprise visit to your grandmother's house. Much to your surprise, upon arrival you find her locked in highly skilled combat with multiple assailants.
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"Real talk here—I was never really fond of my grandmother.\n\n...Man, that really makes it sounds like I dislike her, doesn't it? Lemme rephrase that; I've always been ambivalent towards my grandmother. It's not really due to any particular fault of hers, it's just that I've always been pretty unattached when it comes to my extended family. Uncles, cousins and grandparents were pretty peripheral in my life. We all met up in holidays and birthdays, but otherwise didn't really interact much.\n\nIt was pretty much on a whim that I decided to swing by my grandmother's apartment one day after class. There wasn't any real rhyme or reason behind it—I just sorta felt like going and saying hi.\n\nSo I was pretty understandably disturbed when I found a dead dude lying on a puddle blood in the middle of the hallway the very moment I got off the elevator. I looked around and found three other guys in various states of \"fucked up.\" One was lying against the wall, with a kitchen knife sticking out of his eye. Another was straight up just missing his left leg below the knee. The fourth was somehow, inexplicably, hanging from his dick. Which was stuck on a ceiling fan.\n\nThis is the part where any normal, rational person would get their ass back in the elevator and call the cops. I *wanted* to get back in the elevator and call the cops. But some suicidally curious part of my brain convinced me to not do that. Instead of running for safety, my legs carried me forward, past the dead guys—whom I'd just noticed were all dressed in suits and balaclavas—and towards my grandmother's apartment. \n\nThe door was ajar, and I could hear muffled cracks and crashes coming from within. I peeked my head inside and saw the impossible: A seventy-something year-old woman flipping to and fro, doing cartwheels and all sorts of crazy *John Wick* shit. All around her were a dozen dead suits, but three more were still alive and shooting at her with suppressed pistols. My grandmother vaulted over the kitchen isle, popping one of the guys in the throat, before tucking into a roll and shooting the second once in the knee, twice in the chest, and then once more in the head.\n\nThe third dude was frozen by the shock of having witnessed his buddies get merked so easily. I gotta admit, I was pretty damn stunned too. Unfortunately for him, his hesitation gave her more than enough time to do a *motherfucking windmill* and dislocate his knee. He went straight down with a yelp, before grandma straddled him and double tapped him in the head. \n\nThen, it was over, almost as if some unheard background music faded away. My grandmother's posture relaxed as she heaved a heavy sigh and stood up off the corpse. She pulled out her pistol's magazine, inspected how many bullets were still inside, slid it back in. She then finally turned towards me, lifting an eyebrow. \"Well, come on inside, Seth. These boys aren't going to let themselves out, now, are they?\"\n\nLet's recap here; In this day alone I've failed my trigonometry midterm, gotten my car towed, witnessed more deaths than most people do in their lifetimes, and now I just got my ass saddled with the task of cleaning up this slaughterhouse.\n\nGod, I'm not sure if you're listening, but if you are, I'm sorry for whatever I did to become your personal jester. Please get yourself Netflix or something, 'cause I don't know how much more of this shit I can take.",
"Nana snapped the man's arm in three places -- a warning for him. When he failed to take the hint, however, she snapped his neck -- a warning for the others.\n\nThe dozen or so jumpsuit-clad goons charged at the ancient woman in pairs or trios, only to collapse in shattered, similarly grouped heaps. Her grandchildren watched in an ambivalent fusion of shock and horror as Jacqueline Rosemary Thompson, age 92, elbowed a man twice her size and a third her age directly in his Adam's apple. She then spun around and yanked out the next assailant's septum piercing, before uppercutting the young woman off her feet.\n\nAnd then, just like that, it was over. Any remaining aggressors who could still stand scattered and ran, leaving the bulk of their cohorts behind. Nana Jacqueline plodded over to the young woman she'd floored, who was now gushing blood from her nose and mouth.\n\n\"Move your hand, honey, and let me take a look,\" the old woman cooed, wrenching the bloodied girl's hands away from her face. \"Oh, my -- that's quite the bang-up, child. Here... let me help.\"\n\nNana leaned all her weight on the girl's throat, causing her to thrash and twitch and claw at the mauve carpet, and then, finally, to lie eerily still. The old woman tutted disappointedly after realizing her uppercut had launched the young lady directly into the credenza, splintering the family heirloom in two.\n\n\"Hello, dearies,\" Nana Jacqueline chortled at her grandchildren, still standing in the doorway with their mouths agape. \"Terribly sorry about the mess. I just wasn't expecting any sort of company this morning.\"\n\nJason and Jamie remained transfixed, wholly unable to process the carnage now occupying the bulk of their nana's drab, oak-paneled living room.\n\n A sharp ding rang out, snapping them back to reality.\n\n\"Oh, wonderful!\" Nana Jacqueline exclaimed, dabbing at the bloodstained davenport sofa with a healthy dose of club soda. \"Who wants a Snickerdoodle?\"\n",
"Maw Maw's house was off a dirt road outside of the city. My tiny Yaris didn't handle it too well, jostling me and my bag of gardening supplies around. \n\nMom had mentioned that my grandmother was having a hard time maintaining her black eyed pea plot this year, so I thought I'd surprise her with a visit. Honestly, it would be the only way I'd be able to help - if I asked beforehand, she'd definitely claim to not need any. \n\nI parked in the driveway full of loose gravel and walked up to the porch. As is customary in my family, I swung open the front door and stepped into the living room shouting, \"Knock, knock!\"\n\nNo response. The TV was off. Maw Maw's chair hosted a heating pad turned to low and Paw Paw's chair had a folded afghan on it that had been there every visit for the past four months. \n\n\"Maw Maw?\" I walked on brown shag carpet into the dining room. \n\nThe sliding glass door that led to the back porch was open just a sliver. I figured she was in her garden. Not only was she growing the black-eyed pea plot for profit, she also kept a vegetable garden for her own personal use. \n\nI put my bag over my shoulder and used both hands to push the stubborn glass door open and then pull it closed behind me.\n\nOnce outside, I heard Maw Maw's voice from around the shed where her garden was. It was a grunt, and I thought it was *certainly* garden related. \n\nI turned the corner of the shed, smiling ear to ear and announced, \"Hey, Maw Maw!\"\n\nMy gardening bag slipped off my slack shoulders and tumbled to the ground.\n\nMaw Maw was standing with her feet wide apart, brandishing her gardening hoe like a weapon. Two adult men stood just a few feet in front of her, clearly poised for an attack.\n\nMaw Maw turned to the sound of my voice. Her hand covered her mouth and she exclaimed, \"Oh my stars!\"\n\nI grabbed my spade, but before I had even told my feet to go help my poor grandmother, the first man pounced. \n\nMaw Maw jabbed him hard in the chest with the handle of her hoe, stopping him mid-leap. Then, with a speed that I could never conceive coming from an 84 year old woman, she whipped the hoe around and clocked the man hard in the head. He collapsed into the dirt.\n\n\"What the...\" I let the spade hang at my side.\n\nThe second man launched at her. He ducked under her first swipe and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off the ground. Maw Maw shifted her weight, kicking her legs around behind him and sweeping the handle of the hoe across his neck in one fluid motion. She planted her soft orthopedic shoes in the small of his back and kicked. There was a crack and the man was limp. \n\nMaw Maw pulled her hoe out from underneath him, and finally looked back at me.\n\n\"Now, don't fly off the handle,\" she said, extending her hand reassuringly. \n\n\"What were these guys -\" I stopped mid-sentence. A third man had just climbed over the top of the shed, \"Look out!\" \n\nThe man dropped to the ground and began running our direction. Without looking, Maw Maw flung her hoe in a wide arch and the blade of the hoe collided with the man's skull.\n\n\"We need to talk,\" she let the man fall behind her as she led me back into the house. \n\nIn the kitchen, Maw Maw slid a green plastic bowl full of orange slices to across the table, \"You should eat these - they're good for you.\"\n\nI weakly picked one up, \"Maw Maw, who were those men?\"\n\nShe sighed and sat down across from me, \"That's a bit of a long story,\" she looked behind her at an old photograph hanging by the pantry: her and my grandfather, young and smiling.\n\n\"You know how Dewey was in the Army?\" I nodded. \"Well,\" she looked at her hands, \"He wasn't.\"\n\nI was confused. We had letters he had written Maw Maw while he was overseas. He had been stationed in the Philippines. He hated it and never spoke about it much. \n\n\"The government helped us plant that. I wasn't in Memphis, either. We were both in the European theater.\" I had never heard my grandmother use that term, it was weird, \"Your grandfather and I were recruited into an espionage program. We were mostly in Poland.\"\n\n\"I mean,\" I tried to process that, \"Were those guys, like, Nazis or something?!\"\n\n\"Them?\" she pointed towards the back yard, \"Oh no!\" she laughed a little, \"We haven't dealt with Nazis since '46. They're a PMO established by former KGB agents.\"\n\nMy jaw hung open, \"A PMO?\"\n\n\"Private Military Organization,\" Maw Maw explained calmly.\n\n\"After the war, we were sent to the USSR, pretty much immediately. We managed to come back to Texas for a spell, see our folks, and tie the knot,\" her face crinkled into a smile and she touched her ring finger. Her actual wedding ring hadn't fit over her knuckles in a about year, \"Then, we went 'traveling.' The family thought we toured Europe and moved to Edmenson. Really, we followed Soviet spies across the world as counter-espionage assassins.\"\n\n\"No,\" I said, without elaboration or counterpoint. It just couldn't be right, and that's all I knew. My weird interruption did not slow her story.\n\n\"That all changed in '57. Hand to God, we thought I was barren. I was already in my 30's. The feds weren't excited for us to leave, but we just couldn't keep doing that with your dad. We really did move here, then. We stopped everything and went underground.\"\n\nShe stood up and took my green plastic bowl full of orange rinds over to the sink.\n\n\"I've had a whole other life since then. I never thought the old one would come back,\" she opened her fridge, \"Do you want some milk?\"\n\n\"Uh, no,\" I stammered, \"Thank you.\"\n\nShe got me a glass anyway, \"It's good for you.\"\n\n\"It was Dewey's obituary. Someone found it and recognized that picture of him. Maybe they think I know something. I think they're trying to nab me - not kill me. They've been showing up here for the past four months.*That's* why I can't stay on top of those weeds in the black-eyed peas.\"\n\nI gulped down the milk and she turned to rustle deep in her cabinet full of canned food.\n\n\"And, I think you should know,\" she pulled a handgun out from behind some canned tomatoes, \"They might could come after you, too.\"\n\n"
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[WP] It turns out everything anyone ever said on the Internet is true.
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"I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me \"Apache\" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding."
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[WP] After years of asking for ingredient lists from fast food restaurants, you find that you hold the last key ingredient to McDonalds promotional Szechuan dipping sauce, and the company offering you millions
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"That was it. I found it. The holy grail. The saviour of humanity. One may ask, why should my hard work matter, why should I have sacrificed everything for what seems like nought. And I'll tell you, you don't understand. \n\nIt began on a fateful day. I remember it so well. It was launched. It would change the world. The szichuan dipping sauce. The skepticism of a man turned into the zealotry of a priest. I changed. The world changed. Men cried and wept on the streets, the queues were snaking. Soon, the sauce, the sauce that we have not seen for eons, was gone. Consumed by the masses, overworked by the bourgeois, taxed by the politicians. Outrage was built, then faded. But not me, not me. I swore an oath, which I'll keep to my deathbed. To recreate holiness in itself, to defy society and their snivelling. For so long have I awaited to find it, and now I have. But they are after me, with their millions and billions. I will not let them have it, they betrayed our trust once and no more shall that be. I won't let them take *my precious*."
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[WP] The year is 2028 and everyone has moved on to self-driving cars, everyone but you. This is your daily commute.
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"Now, here's the thing I want you all to know: I swear I wasn't trying to get a job as a self-driving car tester on purpose. In fact, that might have been the last thing I considered doing in life, considering my inital distaste for them.\n\nWhen self-driving cars started rolling out, I was one of the people who was absolutely against the idea of computers navigating where I went. After all, what would happen if people hacked into the software, or if a glitch happened? Machines aren't perfect, and that's why there's always people behind them. \n\nHowever, as the years progressed and technology improved, I noticed less and less traffic accidents reported on the daily radio. Traffic collisions, highway accidents, and deaths caused by drunk drivers and avid texters had decreased by almost 80%, with any accidents that have been caused always involving individuals driving the cars themselves. \n\nI couldn't fucking believe it. I didn't understand a lick of it, and was astonished that there were no reported incidents of hacking or glitching in any of these self-driving cars. As I brought it up to my friend Rachel, she rolled her eyes at me over the other side of the table during lunch break. \n\n\"You are aware that all self-driving cars are connected through a single communication network, right?\" \n\n\"Please, do elaborate to me on what the hell that's supposed to mean.\" \n\n\"It means that they can detect each other, and objects around them, and relay that information to other cars. They mathematically calculate the space around them and act accordingly, way faster than a human brain can. Let's say, for example, you have a manual car barrelling down an intersection, and it passes through a red light because the guy driving wasn't paying attention. Normally, that could cause a collision, because the drivers who have right of way don't see the crazy guy barrelling down the intersection when he shouldn't. A self-controlled car, however, will detect the speed and velocity of the incoming car immediately, because other self-driving cars picked up on this guy's lack of decrease in velocity, and communicated that to other cars ahead. Think of it like several cop cars on the road telling one of their buddies about an incoming speeder, except the message is immediate.\"\n\nI blinked at her, dismayed. \"So...you're telling me that the cars predict what will happen ahead of time?\" \n\n\"If there's an anomaly, yes. That's why you don't hear accidents about glitched self-driving cars. If there is one, other self-driving cars already know, and act based on predicted actions.\" \n\n\"Well, what if the driver's actions start getting erratic or unpredictable?\" \n\n\"Dude, they're super computers,\" Rachel frowned. \"By the time you've started doing donuts in an intersection, they've already calculated and determined all possible ways to avoid collison with you and with other vehicles and objects.\" \n\n\"So you're saying the self-driving cars are a hive mind.\" \n\nRachel laughed. \"Look, dude, if you're so skeptical about how they work, why don't you join me at the Hyundai open conference regarding self-driving cars this weekend? Who knows, maybe you'll change your mind about getting yourself one.\" \n\nWell, I wasn't planning to, not at all. The fact that all the cars could communicate with each other was goddamn creepy. Everyone predicted that we'd be overthrown by robot overlords, but nobody knew that they'd actually be cars. \n\nIn the end, though, I did end up going to that open presentation with Rachel. And I asked questions - lots of them. The main presenter, surprisingly, answered them all, despite my constant riddling. Then, he beckoned me aside and asked me a few questions - how long have I driven manual cars, where I worked, and, finally, whether or not I'd be interested in being a tester for the self-driving systems. Apparently, they had been looking for willing applicants, and my distaste for the cars gave a good mindset for anyone trying to test the anti-collision methods. \n\nAnd so, here I am, several months later. I am driving erratically around a goddamn crash test arena, doing donuts and rushing towards self-driving cars, watching them all scramble to calculate and re-calculate their directives in order to avoid collision. \n\nSo as you can see, I never imagined myself being involved with self-driving cars at all, but you know what? If I can push the bottons of these hive-mind super computers by forcing them to recalculate their directives constantly, than I will tolerate the existence of our robot overlords. ",
"\"Hey, Davis.\" Frank asked over the top of the cubicle, \"You said you were okay with doing lunch with us?\"\n\n\"Huh?\" I remembered, \"Oh yeah that's right. To talk about the Epian merger?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\" Frank nodded, \"We can't get a Uber right now, but you have a car yeah?\"\n\n\"Why, you need a lift?\" I sighed.\n\n\"We've got to get over there somehow. We only get an hour, and the bus is a 30 minute ride.\"\n\n\"Oh, okay.\" I remembered, \"Yeah, I'll get my car.\"\n\n--\n\n\"Ummm, Jeremy?\" Kisha asked. \"What is this?\"\n\n\"My car.\" I admitted, \"Frank said he needed me to drive.\"\n\n\"You own a car?\" Tyler snarked as he adjusted his expensive blazer, \"What is this, the stone age?\"\n\n\"Y'know, you can walk the 10 miles if you want to.\" I said happily. It'd be a good change of pace actually to not have to hear his annoying voice for the Nth time today.\n\n--\n\n\"Ok Frank, where to?\"\n\n\"You know that Mexican spot on 84th? Acapulco Tacos?\"\n\n\"Oh okay. Sure. I know that place.\" I mentioned as I put the car in gear. I turtled through the garage, and ambled us through the booth out to the street.\n\nIt was actually a nice day outside. I followed traffic to the freeway and got up to speed for the on ramp. I merged into traffic and followed the rules, calmly making my way along at 80 miles an hour.\n\n\"Uhh, Jeremy.\" Frank finally asked, \"Why are you moving the wheel?\"\n\n\"Because I'm driving.\" I explained in sarcasm. It didn't hit me until I glanced over at their white-knuckled expressions, \"What?\"\n\n\"*You're driving yourself?!*\" Tyler asked, \"Sweet Jesus, you'll kill us all.\"\n\n\"I didn't know it was still legal to do that.\" Kisha mentioned as she watched.\n\n\"Uh, yeah?\" I explained, \"It's not that bad.\"\n\n\"You're piloting a two-ton hunk of metal, on the freeway, and it's not that bad?\" Tyler said, \"I think I'm going to be sick.\"\n\n\"Please, save it. Besides you said, you never even got a driver's license.\"\n\n\"Is it expensive?\" Frank inquired, \"I mean, maintenance, fuel, insurance?\"\n\n\"Actually, it's gotten a little cheaper in some aspects.\" I explained, \"Less people actually driving has lowered the accident rate. I mostly pay road and gas taxes as a result. Not a bad trade off?\"\n\n\"At the risk of crashing?\" Kisha said, \"What if something happens?\"\n\n\"Well, that's what airbags are for.\" Jeremy said, \"But if you pay attention, it's not too hard to stay alive. All the cars around us can detect us being there. The only real risk is if I hit, like, a *wall* or a tree or something.\"\n\n\"And if a tire blows out?\" Frank asks, \"Or a belt snaps?\"\n\n\"Well, if something happens, we just have to work with it as things go along. We're almost there, so don't worry.\"\n\n\"Are you worried about everyone else?\" Tyler asked, \"What if you hit them?\"\n\n\"I'm not actually seeking out a wreck. Why would I willingly crash into someone?\"\n\n\"I don't...\" Tyler said as he considered the fact, \"I don't think you would.\"\n\n\"Good, because that would be stupid.\" I explained as I eased onto the exit lane and slowed down. I stopped as we reached the light, and waited with the rest of the cars. Eventually, we motored down the block to the restaurant. I waited for the pedestrians to clear before finding a spot.\n\n\"So why don't you have a self-driver anyway?\" Frank asked as I shut the car off, and slid the keys out the ignition.\n\n\"Because self-driving cars are crazy expensive still. Same reason you walk and ride the bus.\""
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Note: While Usage Of Sire Indicates Male, In No Way Is This Prompt Meant To Be Limited To A Male As The 'Sire.'
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[WP] Your Sired The End Of Humanity, And Now That Very Being Attempts To Console You.
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"\"Dad,\" He says coming in the living room dressed in white suit and his hair fixed up.\n\n\"Son,\" I say. I keep focused on watching my TV show and eating chips. He walks in and I can hear his leather sole squeak on the wooden floor.\n\n\"How you been?\" He says looking at me and the chips, I push the bag towards him to offer without saying a word.\n\n\"Alright.\" I say abruptly. \"How's your mother?\" \n\n\"She's alright, she's waiting in hell for you.\" He's not being an asshole either, she really is waiting for me in hell to rule with her. \"You still considering our offer?\"\n\nI look at him, shake my head no, and pull the chips back, \"Why can't we just sit and enjoy each other's company, there is always a deal going on that she has you pass on to me. Can't I just spend time with my son?\"\n\n\"Dad..\" He whines, \"She just wants you to come home. I'm almost done up here, once we've finished we still have that 'other problem' to handle yet.\"\n\nI get up and walk into the kitchen; I glance out the window, and he has a giant scarlet serpent destroying the city, I walk into the fridge and pull out some Kool-aid, \"This stuff is delicious.\" I pour it into a glass I grabbed from the cupboard, \"Looks like you got The Whore of Babylon out, huh? I wonder if she is a good lay.\"\n\n\"Dad.. Come on, now. You know mom would kill her.\" I look at his face but he isn't messing around.\n\n\"Well, at least she's still territorial. Have you seen your Grandpa? I heard he isn't too happy with what you guys are doing to the world.\" I hand him a cup of Kool-aid as well and sit back down in my lazy-boy. \n\n\"Well, Grandpa started it. He could have just left the world for mom and her siblings.\" He takes a drink and looks at the TV show, \"Oh, Fringe. Hey! You should seriously consider it, we have that guy in hell now.\"\n\n\"Which one?! The Bishops?\" I say looking at the screen.\n\n\"No, the guy who plays Anna Torv's partner, Charlie. What's his name, anyway, he is down there for about three days. He won't shut up about his fucking letter collection, apparently he had a thing for getting famous or well known people to write to him. Interesting, until a point, when he gets obnoxious.\" He watches the TV show for a bit, and grabs some chips. It's nice actually just being able to talk to my son, when he isn't being a pretentious prick and an asshole.\n\n\"Mom really does miss you,\" He says looking at the screen. The end of the world is happening and he is causing it but we are just casually watching TV. \n\n\"I don't want pity, son. I know you have to do what you have to do, but I don't believe in destiny. If I die in your raids, I die. I know your mom don't want me in heaven and to be her pet, that's why she has you come see me, but I don't want to. It's not because of some 'good or bad' perspective either, I could care less that she is still fighting her dad after a millennia, I just don't believe in destiny. To that end, I don't believe that my life was predetermined other than for me to choose my own path. I'm sorry.\" He looks at me a few times and takes a drink of his Kool-Aid once in a while, but he nods and watches the show.\n\n\"I like this part,\" They merge the two alternate universes together at the Statue of Liberty, but Peter Bishop disappears. \"I think they had about three more seasons of material, but..\"\n\n\"J.J. Abrams is a lazy fuck!\" I say half sarcastically. \"I wish he stayed low budget Sci-Fi, he was doing good too. Passioned writing.\"\n\n\"Yeah, but Lost's ending.\" My son says, looking at me to see what I say.\n\n\"Aww damn it, I forgot about that convoluted piece of garbage. He's a good beginning and middle portions of his stories, but he can't wrap up his storylines for shit.\" We both laugh and he reaches over to cheers me.\n\nHe laughs and says, \"I think he went to heaven, actually. We haven't seen him yet.\"\n\n\"Awww shit, really!? That son of a bitch,\" I say chuckling. I stop and look at my son, he is a piece of shit but he is my piece of shit, \"I love you, son.\"\n\nHe looks at me, his eyes gleen red and yellow, \"Don't get all gushy on me now, you old bat. You're only human.\" The prick, I think and smile at him."
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[WP] Deconstruct a famous monster.
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"EU OFF\n\nThe Batter\n\nHe is fourteen when he first holds a bat. \n\nThe baseball bat fits perfectly into his large hands. The weight of the aluminium is crude and heavy. He is already towering over his peers but he feels himself stand just a little straighter with a bat on his shoulder. \n\nHe will make a good batter, the coach tells him, because he is fast and lean and strong. \n\nHe is fifteen when his father leaves, dying in the great war to a shrapnel mine. He doesn't even think about enlisting. How can he when all he can see is pointless destruction all around him and his mother's crying face. \n\nHe is sixteen when he joins the war. His mother is dead, eaten by a fire bomb. He sees smoke in his mind's eye, wild and growing all across the once great city they had stayed in. Empty faces emerge from the ruins with daylight. \n\nThey all look the same to him, hopeless and helpless. \n\nHe dreams of his father, dying somewhere in a rain of metal. He wonders if his father looked like that too- empty. \n\nHe joins the war, entering the ranks easily enough. He needs to do something- needs to be something, anything but the pathetic child he was before, pining after mother and father. He has always been able to pass for an older person with his expressionless face and his exceptional height. \n\nHe finds that he is a violent man. \n\nFrom a distance, he easily orders death with no remorse. Up close, he uses his bare hands to tear apart men. \n\nThere is something...off about him. \n\nHe can see fear in the eyes of his comrades. They all look the same, helpless and hopeless and afraid. All a facade behind raw meat that he's seen too many times to even flinch. \n\nHe keeps his assurance. He does as he is still. It's all he can do in a world that hasn't made sense to him for a very long time. \n\nThen he is told to attack an outpost. It is an impossible attack. His comrades are falling around him. He knows- they are not meant to succeed. He is but a distraction for something filthier in this filthy world. \n\nHe knows, and he marches onwards anyway, like the good puppet that he is. \n\nHe is out of bullets. He is out of time. The enemy is waiting for him as he walks through the empty streets of a city towards a fortified building. \n\nBut there it is...against all odds. \n\nHe knew it'd be there, somehow. He finds a baseball bat on the road, outside a broken storefront. His hands close on the handle and he feels strong. Strong and determined, because he is a man on a mission. The men behind the barricades of the fortified building blanch- their faces, each and every one a plastic rictus of fear. \n\nHe runs straight at the enemy and swings-\n\nHe is swinging at a man. He is swinging through a man. He is swinging at the entire world, hoping to shatter everything with his arms. \n\n*Batter up, Batter!* \n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] The first words you hear upon waking up are: "Breathe deeply. And don't forget to not die." Something hard is pressed into your hand, something deadly.
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"I blink uncomprehendingly for a moment. It's dark, the red lights aren't even on. I reach for the switch on my rack light, but a hushed voice stops me. \"Dammit, don't turn on the fucking light. Let your eyes adjust.\"\n\nI place the voice. \"Chief?\" I realize something is in my hand, something Chief placed into it. \"The fuck is...\"\n\n\"The fuck do you think it is, dammit!? The fuck do you think is going on?\" I could feel his glare boring a hole through the darkness straight into my soul. \"They are on board. The rest of the berthing's rack-enviros were compromised. The info-net isn't working so I can't get a reading from the other berthings either.\" His head jerked to a side for a moment. I'd heard it too, but I couldn't tell where it came from. It wasn't close yet, in any case. Chief turned his attention back on me. \"We need to see if anyone else is alive. I can't repel an infestation with just your scrub-ass.\"\n\n\"I have every confidence in you too, Chief.\" I was fully awake now, and slipping as quietly as I could from my middle rack. I strapped the weapon belt around my waist and tested the blaster latch and cutlass lock. Both were in working order, holing the weapon in place no matter what until I actually intended to draw the weapon. \n\n\"Don't fucking sass me. Get your boots on and let's go. And the next time I find you in your uniform in your rack I'm whooping your ass.\" Chief padded quickly away toward the closer of several egress. I made a face in his direction a stuck my tongue out. Not very professional, not very mature, but fairly satisfying. \n\nMy satisfaction was cut short by the same noise as before, closer this time. I'd never heard anything like it but I knew what it was. A shrill inhale followed by a series of soft pops. they hadn't managed to get to the ships environmental controls yet, the atmosphere was still too thick for them. That made them sleepy and sluggish, which would buy us time. But how much?\n\nI pulled my boots on and slinked toward the direction Chief had gone. The lights here and there giving readings and indications on various equipment were enough to sort of make out my way, but not enough to avoid bumping face-first into Chief. \n\n\"Shit, sorry Chief.\" \n\nThe response was not the belittlement I expected. No mention of me being blind, worthless or a green-scrub. \n\nThe response that came was a shrill inhale, followed by a serious of soft pops.\n\nI stumbled back as a scream caught in my throat. for the best no doubt, as all it would have done was draw more of them to me. my hands fumbled for the blaster at my side, but before I could draw, level and fire, the creature lunged at me. \n\nA mumbled stream of expletives pasted through my teeth as I stepped back, last balance and fell flat on my ass. A moments panic was replaced by confusion when I realized it's head was in my lap and the body was laying a perpendicular to mine, several feet away. \n\n\"So help me, were you going for your fucking blaster? For just one of them?\" Chief kicked the head away, grabbed me by my shirt and hauled me to my feet. \"All you need is your fucking sword when it's just one of the squishy fucks. Fuck's sake.\" Chief turned and stormed off silently. Despite a flood of conflicting feelings and an overwhelming joy at still being alive, I was mostly astonished that a person could so clearly be stamping their feet and yet make not a sound. \n\nI draw my own cutlass and follow the seething NCO. He was headed for the closest berthing to ours, and I was not in any rush to stop him. If we found anyone else alive in there, it would mean that his pissyness would be split between us. In the face of an infestation, I could use at least that much of a break. \n\nHe stopped ahead of me and held up a hand to halt me. The corridors outside berthing were better lit even without main illumination, but it was still too dark to make out much. Even so, I could tell from his posture that he was uneasy. It took a lot to make him uneasy. Wishing I didn't have to find out, I asked, \"What's the matter Chief?\"\n\n\"The engines.\" He turned his head to look at me through the darkness. \"I just noticed, I don't hear them.\" \n\nI listened. He was right. And yet there was a distinct vibration in the deckplates. Irregular, but present where there should be stillness with the engines dead. \"Then what's causing those tremors.\"\n\nChief pursed his lips and turned back toward the next berthing. Either he didn't know or didn't want to tell me. I couldn't decide which would be worse. \n\n...\n \n\nIt's late and I have to be awake in five hours. If I see there is interest in this being finished, I will take what time I can over the next couple days underway and make a Prompt Inspired post with the completed story when we get back into port. "
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[WP] Humanity is in a war against aliens but despite their best efforts, humanity loses.
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"\"Can you tell me a story dad?\" Christian asked as his father watched something out of the bedroom window. An eerie, orange glow filled the room, and Christian felt butterflies in his stomach as he watched the colors dance as the glass in his window projected the colors on to the white walls of his room.\n\n\"You're ten years old, Christian,\" his father replied, \"That's far too old for bed time stories. Just go to sleep.\"\n\n\"Usually mom reads me stories,\" Christian spoke quietly. His mother had made it clear that the bedtime stories were their secret, but she hadn't been home for a while now so there was no one for his father to get angry with.\n\nGreg turned to look at his son, the pain in his eyes dancing along with the orange-red reflection of the burning city. Christian likely knew somewhere inside that his mother was never coming home. Maybe a story would give him some peace, Greg thought, maybe it would give him some understanding.\n\n\"Okay,\" he forced a smile, and Christian returned it. \"Once upon the time, there was a tiny knight who lived in a small castle on the empty plains. He wasn't the strongest, or the smartest, and in fact he was very young.\"\n\n\"Like me?\" Christian asked.\n\n\"Yes,\" Greg answered, \"A bit like all of us.\"\n\nChristian nodded, and waited for the story to continued.\n\n\"The knight never had many friends. In fact, he didn't have a single one. He had his castle to defend, but no matter which way he looked, no matter how hard he squinted, he could never see another castle through the fog.\"\n\nA deep, violent rumble blasted into the side of their home, and shook it violently. When it ended, Christian had retreated deep under his covers like you would expect from a scared child.\n\n\"What was that?\" He asked.\n\n\"Just some thunder,\" Greg assured him, \"Nothing to worry about.\"\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\n\"Anyway, the story. So the young, tiny, and curious knight entertained himself by answering questions. He had no memory of what had come before the castle, or of who he was or where he had come from. As far as he knew, the castle and he had always been. The knight preoccupied himself with answering these questions, and dealing with his own problem. He couldn't ever leave the castle, so he had to find ways to feed himself using whatever was in it. Somedays he would wake up and a sleeping part of himself had done horrible things to the castle. He would spend a good amount of time cleaning up the castle afterwords, and doing his best to make sure those things would never happen again.\"\n\n\"Did he ever find a friend?\" Christian interrupted.\n\n\"I'm getting to that, be patient.\"\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\n\"Sometimes he would hurt himself, and the tiny knight would have to spend time fixing himself before answering more questions. He shared the castle with other, beautiful creatures too, but it took him a while to learn how to live with them. There were a few that never returned, frightened away from the castle permanently. This made the tiny knight sad, but he carried on. Slowly as he learned more about his castle and himself, he took his first steps outside the gates. He never strayed too far, but it was something.\"\n\n\"I bet he was scared,\" Christian pointed out, \"Who knows what could've been out there!\"\n\nGreg nodded, \"A part of him was scared. But he was hopeful, there was a big beautiful world out there waiting for him, and the thought of missing it drove him forward. But despite all he was learning, and despite all of his progress, he still was lonely. Occasionally he would stop, and listen for any sound outside of his castle. And when he would hear none, he would cry out in hope that someone else would hear him. After all, the world was so big it seemed, there had to be someone else right? What would be the point if he was all there was?\"\n\nChristian nodded as if understanding, \"It's no fun being alone. Everyone needs some company.\"\n\n\"So you understand why the tiny knight had to make all that noise?\" Greg asked, as if seeking forgiveness, \"You know why he had to see if he was alone?\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" Christian replied, \"I understand.\"\n\n\"Good,\" Greg smiled genuinely, \"Well one day, as the tiny knight started running out of question about himself to answer, and as he ran out of ways to improve his castle, he heard something outside. With pure joy, he raised his castle's banners, lowered his gate, and ran out to meet whoever had made that sound.\"\n\n\"Did he find a friend?\" Christian asked excitedly.\n\n\"No,\" Greg shook his head, \"He found an army of giants.\"\n\n\"Oh no,\" Christian whispered.\n\n\"Oh no is right,\" Greg agreed, \"The army had come from a kingdom far way, a place full of other big castles that had joined together. They had heard the tiny knights cries, and had come to answer.\"\n\n\"What did they want?\" Christian asked.\n\n\"They wanted his castle,\" Greg sighed, \"They wanted to take his castle, and make him just another soldier in their army. To steal everything he had worked for, and to relegate him to a lowly servant.\"\n\n\"What did he do?\"\n\n\"The tiny knight knew he was better than that. So instead the tiny knight gazed up at the giants and their army, and drew his tiny sword. 'If you want my castle, you'll have to go through me!' he cried. The giants laughed at him, and then they attacked.\"\n\n\"Did he win?\"\n\nGreg gazed back toward the window briefly, before shaking his head. \"No, but he fought valiantly. He did everything right, and fought the best he could, but they were too strong. They killed the tiny knight, and destroyed his castle.\"\n\nTears welled up in Christian's eye, \"I didn't like that story.\"\n\n\"It's a lesson,\" Greg explained as another shock wave shook their home, \"Sometimes you can do it all the right way, sometimes you can give it your all, and you will just lose. For no reason. But tell me, who was the good guy in that story?\"\n\n\"The tiny knight,\" Christian whispered.\n\n\"Yes,\" Greg nodded, \"Sometimes victory isn't the most important thing. The tiny knight knew who he was, and did everything he could to defend it. He may not have won, but he died a good, honorable man. And that is more than the giants could ever hope for.\"\n\nThe orange-red glow in the room had grown brighter now, but Christian could feel his eyes growing heavy. He yawned, and turned over in his bed.\n\n\"Okay,\" Christian mumbled, \"That *was* a good story then.\"\n\n\"It was,\" Greg agreed, \"I'm always sad when it ends. But now you need to go to sleep. There will be a whole new story to tell when you wake up.\"\n\n\"Do you think there are other knights like that one?\" Christian yawned as the tendrils of sleep gripped at him.\n\n\"I sure do,\" Greg involuntarily glanced back toward the window, \"I sure do.\"\n________________________\nDid you like this story? Check out my other stuff over at r/Niedski! I post all of my stories there!"
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[WP] Write a newspaper story, and within it put in a hidden message that you, the writer, are being held captive and need rescued.
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"MAN IN BERKSHIRE ARRESTED FOR TREASON\n\nThe Federal Intelligence Service today arrested a Hishamberry man in Berkshire for what they claim was treason, prompting the Republic of Hishamberry to recall its ambassador to the United Union of Cracksworth. UUC government officials from the Ministry of Peace and Eternal Security have stated that the arrest was not related to prior crackdown of alleged illegal immigrants seeking a better life in the glorious Union and gave no further comments on his treason. However, unnamed sources suggest the man was allegedly arrested on three counts of colluding with \"imperialist foreign powers\" as well as abating the the Church of Latter Souls, which the UUC government has claimed was attempting to overthrow it. Last Monday, when asked if relations with Hishamberry would deteriorate due to current immigration policy by the UUC, High Consul Mattis Alonso said \"We will need help from our neighbours, especially in times of great peril and need. When our people are locked up at home in fear of murderers and kidnappers, society has a problem.\" \n\n \n\nMeanwhile today, Minister of Truth and Justice Loraine delfonte said prosecution of the man would begin immediately and in secret and that prosecutors were expected to present to court an argument for the death sentence, which would be the first time a prosecutor has requested this for the Union. She claimed the government and people were \"under attack at every turn\" and required help from the courts, the Force of Guidance and Righteousness and most importantly, the people. She urged all righteous women and men to attend the hearing, which would take place at the Courthouse of Eternal Justice next to a grey building on 473 Dumont Rd. "
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Possible [TT] as well.
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[WP] Your commanding officer called for loyalty beyond the grave. Well, now you're dead, and your loyalty is being called upon.
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"*My troops*\n\nI wake up, digging through dirt and rock. My body seems jumbled, disoriented. Where's my legs? \n\nMy hand seems to have made it past the dirt, clawing at air. I grip the ground, pulling to get more out. My limbs become heavy, raw and painful then cold. \n\nI keep digging, fingers scrapping over dirt and rock and bone. I feel my hands on the bones of my face, wiping away packed dirt. There's a pressure then I can see. \n\nI watch as red flesh and nerves and tissue cover my rib cage then pale skin. Little bits of hair sprout as I lift my skull-head out of the ground, turning it and putting in on my spine. I hold it in place as muscle and tendons tie my skull to my neck and shoulders. Then I can let go. \n\n*Arise* \n\nI can see others, some already fully clothed and others that are horrors of bone and organs. I shiver, feeling my skin goosebump in the night air. I lift my hands, run them through my thick, slightly coarse hair, over my ears and neck. One of the men I recognized had not been lucky enough to get his hair back. He remained bald. \n\nThreads weave themselves around me, turning themselves into cloth then clothes. I gripped my spear, grabbing my shield and marching over to get in formation. I am joined by others, by men I had known before my death. The guy in front of my had his head sliced off two battles before I died. \n\n"
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[WP] Every night I tell my girlfriend a bedtime story by the end of this one I'd like her to be my fiancé.
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"\nThe Prince and the princess\n\nThere once was a prince who loved a princess. But it was not to be, because this princess was already betrothed to another. But this prince could see that this princess was not truly happy. She was married to a dragon and her and that dragon were able to sire two children together. But as you know, the offspring of a dragon and a human is a demon. Now most people think demons are these horned creatures that go around creating misdeeds and causing havoc but that's not what demons do. Demons look just like any other person except they enjoy suffering. You see, unlike a regular person, demons love to see human beings suffer. I guess, that just makes sense given that so few demons are spawned by acts of love. Maybe demons aren't inherently bad. they're just nurtured that way.\n\nRegardless, the prince saw this and he wanted to do something about it. What I haven't mentioned before is that this prince was actually also a knight. Hed also slain many demons but never a dragon. Demons are relatively easy to vanquish, but a dragon is a great accomplishment. The kind of accomplishment that so few knights are capable of doing but he was, because he was one of the greatest knights in the land.\n\nThe princess used to pretend she was happy. But the prince could see how unhappy she really was. When he would watch from the window, when she was all alone, away from the demons and the dragon, he could see her true sadness. The sadness that only the brave and handsome prince, the strong knight, would ever be able to chase away.\n\nSo one day, the prince entered where the dragon and demons lived. He was armed with a crossbow and an axe. Most knights would have used a sword but this particular night was fond of using axes because it's only with an axe that a true warrior attains a higher state of being. As he entered the door to the castle, he saw the dragon, the demons and the princess all eating dinner. The princess, of course, was pretending to be happy but the knight nnew better. Away the bolt flew from his crossbow and into the heart of the dragon,. The dragon stood up, trying to face down the knight but before he could the knight brought down the axe into his skull.\n\nSeeing what a mighty warrior he was, the two demons began cowering and crying. They called out to their mother and the princess went to them, possibly still scared of what those demons would do to her. Knowing that the dragon’s magic was strong, the knight pulled the princess away from the demons and slew them where they laid cowering on the floor.\n\nThe princess was traumatized. So many years and for so long, she had lived under the yoke of the dragon and the demons. She didn't know how to live a normal life. She didn't know true love. But now she would.\n\nThe prince pulled her into his arms and she began fighting him. The dragon’s magic was too strong. The prince knew that the only way that the dragon’s magic could be conquered was with love. So the prince threw his love over his shoulder and took her back to his castle.\n\nBack at the castle, the situation seemed hopeless. Despite the prince’s boundless love for the princess, the dragon’s magic was just too strong. She continued to fight the prince. Numerous times, she attempted to escape. At one point, she even got to a local farmer and the dragon’s magic started to infect the man so the knight struck him down before he could be corrupted completely.\n\nIt was then that knight realized that the princess, the love of his life, would need to be chained. Just like in Snow White, his love would awaken something inside of her but first she would need to stop fighting it. The prince chained the princess to her bed. The prince knew that what he was doing was unpleasant but no matter how confined her physical form may be , nothing could stop their love for one another.\n\nEvery morning and every night, the prince would enter the princess's room and expresses his love towards her. This continued for what seemed like ages until a miracle happened.\n\nThe princess was with a child. This was wonderful news. Just like the way a dragon creates a demon, a knight, being an instrument of God's will, produces only angels.\n\nNow, I've told you this story every night for the past year-and-a-half, my love. and I know the dragon’s magic still courses through your veins but I want to know what kind of ceremony you would like for our wedding. As you know, your marriage to the dragon was over as soon as I crushed his skull with my axe, so there's nothing keeping you from being my bride forever, now is there? \n\n\n",
"Long ago, a beautiful young woman with [brown] hair and eyes the color of [the finest chocolates in all the kingdom] went into the forest to gather berries. She was a beloved lady in the village, the pinnacle of grace, charm, and wit.\n\nShe never went far, as the berry bushes lined the forest's edge, just within the view of the thatched roof cottage she shared with her sister.\n\nToday, much to her dismay, the berry bushes were missing all their berries. *I must have berries for Sister's pie!* she thought, and ventured deeper into the forest.\n\nBefore long, she stumbled into a small meadow, wherein stood the finest, fullest berry bush the lady had ever seen. She rushed and knelt by it, plucking the plump berries and dropping them into her basket. Her fingers turned purple from the juice, and she thought with joy how happy her sister would be.\n\n\"Hello, there, Miss,\" a voice came from behind her. So caught in her task, she had not heard anyone approach. She turned, beholding a dashing man she had never seen in the village before.\n\n\"Hello,\" she answered, as her politeness dictated, but she felt unsure, and wary of the stranger.\n\n\"Why are you taking my berries?\" He inquired, but kind enough still. The lady stood, blushing, and wiped her stained hands on her apron.\n\n\"I'm sorry, I didn't know they were yours! Or,\" she gestured to the surrounding area, \"that anyone lived out here at all.\"\n\n\"The bears do,\" he said with a grin. \"And they happen to be very fond of my berries.\"\n\n\"Then I have done you a favor,\" she said, straightening. \"Perhaps they won't bother you any more now that their morsels are gone.\"\n\n\"That is a smart thought,\" he said, but tapped his chin. \"And it would be a wonderful idea if it were not my curse from the Bear King to keep these berries safe from young maiden fingers.\"\n\n\"The Bear King? My, my, what a tale. But I'm sorry, sir, it just won't fool me. I'm smarter than to believe something like that.\"\n\n\"You think yourself wise?\" He chuckled, moving from where he leaned on the tree. He stepped forward, and she stepped back.\n\n\"Wise enough to know when to excuse myself,\" she said, holding her basket out for him. \"Take your berries, and I'll be going.\"\n\nNow the young man had an enchanting smile, and the lady felt her face flush when he stepped forward to retrieve it. His fingers brushed against hers as he took the basket, and she felt a flutter in her heart. He looked into her eyes and she held his gaze for a while.\n\n\"Perhaps,\" he started, \"I could forgive you, and let you take these berries, if you'll humor me in a contest.\"\n\n\"A contest? Of what sort?\"\n\n\"Seeing as you are so smart, I wonder if you could solve my riddles.\"\n\n\"Well,\" she scoffed, \"if they're anywhere near as simple as your Bear King story, I'll be sure to bring you back a slice of berry pie.\" The young man's smile grew at her boldness, for he was charmed with her spirit.\n\n\"Tell me, are there many like you from your village?\"\n\n\"Is that your first riddle?\" She asked, and he laughed.\n\n\"Such wit! Now I'm sure there are none like you anywhere in the kingdom. Let's begin.\"\n\n\"I'm ready,\" she smiled, demure at his compliment but amused at his game. The squared her shoulders and he began pacing.\n\n\"What is small to one of its kind, but big to you and me?\" He asked. She smiled, giving him a sly glance. She put her hands behind her back and clasped them together. \n\n\"To a king, a princess is a kitten, but we peasants are the mouse.\" She answered in perfect confidence, and the young man grinned.\n\n\"Well done!\" He said, and stopped his pacing, examining her. \"How did you get such a wit?\"\n\n\"Perhaps the same way you lost yours.\" Her reply was quick, and the young man stuttered, flustered, before regaining his composure. It was her turn to pace, circling him. \"Have I earned my berries?\"\n\n\"Oh, not quite,\" the young man said, adjusting his collar. \"I have another. What is of no use to one, but bliss to two?\"\n\n\"This one is easier, sir.\"\n\n\"Then answer, dear,\" he said. She stopped pacing, and the two stood close.\n\n\"Love,\" she answered. The young man's eyes lingered on her, and she thought she saw his cheeks flush. He cleared his throat and looked away, smiling.\n\n\"Very good,\" he said. \"I'm afraid I'm no match for you. You've earned your berries, and more.\" He handed her the basket, and she took it, but her heart hesitated.\n\n\"Will I ever see you again?\" She asked, and he looked down, running a hand through his hair.\n\n\"If you are a woman of your word,\" he answered. Confused, she questioned him further. \"I do think you promised me a piece of pie.\"\n\n\"Oh!\" She said, her eyes lighting up with a laugh. \n\nThe next day, the young maiden came to the berry bush, a bit of pie in her basket for him. She waited a while, ready to give up when she heard a rustle behind her. Relieved he appeared, she turned. But to her fear, she saw not the young man, and instead the tallest bear she had ever seen. \n\n\"So you are the girl that took my berries,\" said the Bear in his booming voice. The young maiden was paralyzed with fear, and she dared not speak. \"I wondered what you would be like, the girl that made him subject to my wrath.\"\n\n\"I, I...,\" she started, but the Bear let out a roaring laugh. Terrified, the girl turned and ran, with his laugh echoing in her ears. She tried to tell the other villagers and her sister what has happened, but no one believed her. Late into the night, she placed the floor, worried for the young man.\n\nShe heard a tap at the window, and rushed there to find the man. Elated, she ran out to him, and they embraced. She backed away, apologizing, as he also begged forgiveness for her run in with the Bear King.\n\n\"Never mind it,\" she said, her heart breaking in sympathy. \"What will you do?\"\n\n\"There's nothing that can be done for a curse like this.\"\n\n\"There just be something,\" she said, twisting her hands together.\n\n\"I can think of only one,\" he answered, and her heart fluttered when he placed a hand on her arm. \"Perhaps, another riddle, and we can break my curse, my solitude.\"\n\n\"Alright,\" she breathed, and he bowed himself onto one knee.\n\n\"Will you marry me?\"\n\n---\n\nSorry for the typos I wrote this whole thing on my phone 😩 I'll fix them tomorrow!"
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[WP] You must explain the meaning of Thanksgiving to a blissfully unaware, talking turkey
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"\"Well, Ed it's time I tell you why I invited you over here in the first place\" David said reaching for my coffee \n\n\"Yes quite\" responded Ed siping his tea that was somehow supported by a few feathers sticking out of an impossibly contorted wing, but David had given up trying to apply logic to the talking turkey. \n\"So here in the US of A there is a tradition where we feast during the harvest of crops, we call this day Thanksgiving, it originated from some Indians and Pilgrims who settled down in the new land. The Indians helped them get all this food by teaching them the ways of the land and in return, the pilgrims gave the Indiana shiny colored beads\" David stoped to drink coffee and collect himself to break the news to Ed.\n\n\"Interesting but, I was just wandering how you were spelling colour in that sentence?\" Ed smirked as if he thought he was better than this American man purely due to his British Ancestry. Little did he know he was actually going to be served on a table with his head chopped off come dawn tomorrow, because if he did in fact know this he would not be smirking at all, it is much more likely that he would try to run or maybe even call the police. \n\n\"I... I was saying it, I don't understand how I can spell a word that I spoke\" sighed David tired of Ed's shenanigans, \"but, it's not important, as I was saying, the pilgrims had all this food that they just harvested, so what's the most logical option?\" This being a rhetorical question however Ed did not understand the concept of rhetorical questions, because he is a turkey.\n\n\"Save it for winter?\" Interjecting Ed like a three year old yelling to dora the location of swiper. The smilie here being between David and the non-responding non-feeling television screen that hosts dora the explorer because, dora only gives the illusion of care in much the same way that David is about to give the illusion of care to Ed even though he does not care for Ed.\n\n\"Well no, that makes sense but they had a huge feast commemorating the fact that they got food, and Ed do you know what the main course of that meal was?\"\n\n\"No\" said Ed in his innocent little British turkey voice.\n\n\"Well it was, um, T-turkey\" mumbled David, who felt oddly relieved.\n\n\"Oh, is that why i'm here?\" Squeaked Ed\n\n\"Yes\" sighed David\n\n\"Oh! I've always wanted to eat Turkey\" exclaimed Ed. However this obvious want to participate in cannibalism disgusted David taking away any guilt that he was about to feel for killing this bird. As he picked up the bird by the neck, Ed let out one final squeak as life left his body.\n\n\"Granny why did grandpa break that fake turkey?\" Asked David's four year old granddaughter.\n\n\"He wants to help make thanksgiving dinner\" said David's wife as a single tear rolled down her cheek."
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[WP] You're an NPC in a video-game world, charged by the creators to give aid to the hero, unfortunately for you, this hero is a speedrunner.
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"The worst thing about being an A.I. that has to aid the Protagonist is the inevitable sentience one gains. It doesn't always happen, of course. It depends on the game, and it depends on how many times the protagonist comes through, forcing the A.I. to endure the same situations, over and over again.\n\nCyrus didn't know how, or why, he knew this. All he knew is that is was a concept as real to him as his minor healing skills and preference for targeting weaker enemies.\n\nGiven this daunting set of knowledge, it allowed Cyrus to remember 'his' original dream. The only thing he ever wanted to do. He'd managed to convince a woman to marry him. He even helped sire a healthy daughter that was just as much the spitfire her mother was. Cyrus loved his newfound life and intended to retire from his mercenary life, but there were always bills that needed to be paid. So, since he lived in a peaceful village that served as a stepping stone to more dangerous lands, he'd help train the local youth. What better way to atone for what misdeeds he'd done in the past than to help the next generation be better at defending themselves?\n\nAt least, that's what he remembered *being* his thoughts. His true first memory was a critical hit, then darkness. And in a strange, sensation-less void, Cyrus heard a booming voice.\n\n\"...Now if you manage to do this and skip the cinematic, you don't get to swap out Cyrus for the next level Champions, but you get to skip *hours* of content related to them...\"\n\nOf course, back then, he had no idea what that meant. All he knew was the sensation of being out of place. He had been meant to be a mentor to children! And now, armed with a weathered iron sword, he took on challenges of legend side by side with my most psychotic person Cyrus had ever met. In his never-ending haze, he had learned that sometimes jumping off a bridge and crushing your ankle allowed you to hobble to a camp faster than taking the trail would. He also became privy to the advice that if you know you're never coming back to a shop again, to just kill everyone inside and loot their haste potions. That one was always charming.\n\nAnd who could ignore the fact that Cyrus was pretty sure, in every incarnation of this fever-dream, that he'd never seen his tormentor take a single step. The daft bastard somersaulted *everywhere*.\n\nThrough it all, Cyrus wasn't entirely sure how many times this had happened to him. All he knew is that he didn't remember the journey itself, so much. After all, he wasn't destined to interact with people outside of his village. What he *did* remember were his transitions from the booming void. \n\nTwelve arrows in the chest before a sword could be drawn.\n\n\"Oh! Cyrus, taking the first volley for the team, allowing us to strafe against these boxes...\"\n\nA horde of ogres break over a crumbling wall. That image is quickly replaced by the image of a swiftly moving club.\n\n\"...It doesn't matter if Cyrus dies here, he'll respawn with you if you make it to the next portal...\"\n\nSometimes, Cyrus would know better, but he'd just watch himself as he ran forward into tripwires he knew were there.\n\n\"...If you keep spamming the 'aggressive' stance, Cyrus will eventually clear this out for you, in his spectacular fashion.\"\n\nSometimes, he simply refused to contribute, content to not help his eternal captor and his teleporting avatar, if for just a moment of respite, before the next booming silence came. Cyrus had learned to self-refer to that as being 'frozen'. He hated himself for almost preferring it.\n\nOne memory, or instance of it, felt somehow... newer. Cyrus found himself coming out of a fugue on the edge of a snowy cliff, without a notion of how he got there. That sensation was no different than the arenas, deserts and sprawling ruins that he'd been in a thousand times before, but his sense of familiarity was certainly not nearly as jaded. This was, what he instinctively knew, to be a 'Good Run'. \n\nHe didn't have to see any enemies around them to know that he had no chance of contributing meaningfully. Yet, despite that, Cyrus actually *felt* the sense of relief that the end may be in sight. He was so weary of this never ending journey that he was almost delighted to actually try this time around, as useless as he was. Maybe, just maybe, if \"The Chosen One\" completed his quest, it could all end! Cyrus felt the familiar urge to stay by his captor as he began to move, which was normally he would lament, but this time it was different! This time it just may be the path to his freedom. Cyrus dared to allow himself this sensation.\n\nHe then watched as the Protagonist jumped over a barrel and dissolved through a crack in the mountain with a trademarked somersault. \n\nHis optimism wasn't crushed so much as it was scattered far beyond his physical form. In a moment beyond space and time, he could simultaneously look into every room and passage of the dungeon around them as he sank into oblivion. Cyrus gazed up to the myriad of of the world around him in utter awe, watching the mountains fade away to the point he could see the curve of the sky, as if the heavens themselves were just a painting that hovered above the world.\n\nHe was so moved by the sense of absolution that it was utterly shocking to find his physical reality restored in the depths of some lava-belching cavern. He wanted to scream to the Gods about his fate, but the best he could manage was his arms spread wide to his side as he gave the same impassioned grunt he gave to every source of damage that came his way.\n\n\"Oh we got Cyrus in the T-Pose there, nice little bonus. We're almost there, guys...\"\n\nCyrus was about to fume to himself about how the Devil that kept him here was going to mock him in his state of lament. That, however, was when it happened. Every other time Cyrus had heard the voice, he'd just met his death, before returning to a new life. His psyche had to justify the experience by making it seem like a dream, or, at worst, a purgatory. This time, however, he had transcended the world's boundaries undamaged and returned just as whole. An avalanche of memories and understanding poured down upon him like an adventurer that had redeemed hours worth of experience all in one go.\n\nCyrus walked along in a daze behind the Protagonist, as he continued rolling his way along a bridge that loomed over other crisscrossing paths that got perilously closer and closer to the lava below. No, that's wrong, Cyrus thought. It was the other way around. By the looks of the looming, skull adorned door at the end of the path they were on now, it was clear that they should have started from the bottom and worked their way up. Cyrus was never meant to see this room, but he understood how this was all working now. However, he was snapped from his reverie by the return of the booming voice, even outside the void.\n\n\"Alright, and look at that, the seals never activated on the final-boss door! Now there's only one trick left and I think we've got world-record, baby!\"\n\nCyrus managed to ignore the subconscious call to linger ten feet behind the oblivious protagonist, staring down at the empty maze and bubbling lava below. A cascade of memories came together, forming a thought. A drive.\n\nThey were in an area they shouldn't be. A door that should be locked was not. Cyrus didn't have to live in order for the protagonist to continue to the next area.\n\nYeah, well, he didn't have to die, either.\n\nWith a single step, Cyrus plummeted off the edge of the walkway. The scenery whipped by him as the pool of lava became ever closer. But he'd never make it that far. With a familiar ankle-snapping crunch, Cyrus landed on a walkway near the true beginning of the maze. He didn't even have time to register the pain before his vision was forced upwards to the looming boss door, as seven seals of different colored fires burst into existence, along with sconces and fountains corresponding to them flaring up along all the layers of the maze.\n\n\"...CYRUS, WHY?!\" came the booming voice of his captor, loud enough it seemed to be tearing the very air around him. Unconcerned with the high level enemies forming around him, Cyrus looked up towards the protagonist and his his formless oppressor, one and the same, and combined two lines of dialogue from his back memories. One was a line he'd never been allowed to use, because it was supposed to be for when he was released from duty. The other was meant to be a pained response from an ambush. They didn't quite work together in tone, but it would do.\n\n\"See you back at Homestead if you need me... You son of a bitch!\" \n\n"
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[WP] An Alien Civilization has mastered the ability to put an expiration date on every living thing.
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"“What’s this?”\n\nJim picked up a package that had arrived at his door step.\n\n“I don’t recall ever placing an order to be delivered.”\n\nJim had not thought of any friends that might’ve given him a gift. He hadn’t known anyone since he had moved out in the middle of nowhere in Montana. After opening the package he had found a tiny necklace, which had an hour glass for a pendant. A note came along with it:\n\n“Spend your time wisely.” -Universe\n\n“Right, the universe sent me an hour glass for a necklace. How ridiculous-“\n\nAs Jim put the necklace on he started to see a timer ticking away. Not just on the hour glass, even his plant had a timer.\n\n“I have only...500 days? What happens in 500 days!?”\n\nA roach then approached. It read 30 seconds for this critter. Instinctively Jim wanted to step on it to get rid of the vermin, but he was curious as to what would happen within those 30 seconds.\n\n“5…4...3…2…1”\n\nJim then put his hands up to his mouth in disbelief. The roach had stopped moving, it must’ve died from the poison traps he had laid out. But it died as soon as the time hit zero.\n\n“Does that mean that in 500 days I’ll be...?”\n\nAfter a moment of pondering and pacing. Jim came to a sudden stop, and put his hands down to his side. He looked straight ahead, all normal and calm.\n\n“I guess, I have 500 days to take as many of them with me.”",
"\"It's just... every living being?\" Jenna asked.\n\nJenna Seventon, Angel Investor, knew the benefits of working with the aliens. Aside from the obvious infusion of advanced technology, there were more subtle effects. Aliens had a different way of thinking, and often that could be used to great effect in upsetting static markets. But she wasn't sure she saw the benefit this time around.\n\n\"It's easy,\" the holographic representation of the alien was shaped like a human, because the aliens themselves were individually several kilometers in size and as such would not fit in the office. Jenna herself had been involved in a number of the startups that had reverse-engineered the holographic technology, so she understood that what she was seeing was in no way representative of the actual being on the other side.\n\n\"It's not the difficulty-\"\n\nThe alien continued talking. \"We blanket the planet with nanoprobes, each of which contains enough computing power to assess its target and compute a surprisingly accurate expiration date. Then we simply imprint that date on the creature in question. For larger things like trees or animals, this will be visible. For smaller items like individual cells, of course, you'll need a microscope at the very least, and the information may be encoded in junk DNA, inscribed on the cell walls, that kind of thing. We can work out the details later.\"\n\nJenna was annoyed, because she knew the alien would likely blame lightspeed delay for talking over her. She knew for a fact that the holographic transmitters were FTL-capable. And the thing hadn't answered the right question.\n\n\"I'm asking,\" she said, pausing to make sure the alien wasn't continuing the pitch, \"how you expect this to make money. What use do people have for it?\"\n\nThe hologram nodded, obviously a translation of alien body language. \"Well, aside from food safety applications - I might add, our technology is far more accurate than yours in that arena - there are others. Imagine knowing when a tree is going to die, so you can plan for its removal ahead of time? Imagine being able to tell that the dog you've adopted is far older than depicted? Or, for that matter, being able to prepare a child for the inevitability of their pet's death shortly before the event itself?\"\n\nThat made more sense, but Jenna had more questions. \"I can understand this in the case of plants, animals, that kind of thing. But what about people? Couldn't someone just see their expiration date and invalidate it by offing themselves right then?\"\n\nThe hologram chuckled, again likely a translation of a wholly alien reaction. \"Well, technically, they are expired at the date we indicated, they've simply been expired for some time at that point. I assure you, though, we make a good-faith estimate. We don't simply stamp everyone with 'heat death of the universe' and call it good when they go early!\"\n\nThe question she was going to ask was one that aliens generally refused to answer, so she'd have to couch it carefully. \"But free will means-\"\n\nThe alien interrupted: \"While that is a forbidden topic, I believe I understand what you are asking. We provide a guarantee that the date is accurate.\"\n\n\"So, what, a double our money back sort of thing?\"\n\n\"I don't think you understand,\" the hologram said. Its face indicated a sort of sinister glee. \"We provide a *guarantee*. The creature marked *will* be expired.\"\n\nThe ramifications went through Jenna's mind. The possibilities were endless, especially if such a mark could be, for example, counterfeited or otherwise modified. She'd have an alien execution squad at her beck and call!\n\n\"I think we can do business,\" she said."
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[WP]Here lies the Great Machine: A monolithic structure composed of rock and metal. Etched into it's godlike frame are symbols and words in alien languages you don't have time to understand. Nobody, not even researchers, know what the Great Machine is for.
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"Nobody knew what the great machine was. Nobody knew what it might do if it ever was activated. Well, the remnants of humanity can now say, with total certainty, we messed up.\n\n It was huge, in a mountainous, brooding way, absolutely massive, larger than anything humans had ever created. It was so obviously not terrestrial, but it was. \n\n The first survey teams had been stricken down with a mysterious, consuming disease, something never seen by any of the so-called scientific communities. \n\n The second team was never exposed, wearing impromptu haz-mat suits in an attempt to keep out the radiation, microorganisms, Sorcery, whatever it was. The suits didn't help.\n\n And so, without a way to safely explore it, the Monolith remained, unexplored, mysterious, ominous. The monolith stayed for three thousand years, undisturbed.\n\n However, with the advent of drone technology, someone had the bright idea to explore the monolith remotely, effectively sealing all of humanity's fate.\n\n This one man, let's call him John, was singlehandedly the most intelligent inventor the world had ever seen. Nobody could measure up to his intellect or to his drive for improving the world.\n\n Smartest man in the world or not, he still couldn't change the past. He took a drone to the structure and used it to photograph and record every nook, every cranny of it, inside and out. \n\n Humanity didn't last the night. \n\n This is his story. This is MY story. This is the story of the survivors, after 99.2% of the population was either killed or... changed.",
"Three metal stars fell from the shoulder of the screaming general onto the strange sand floor of the illuminated chasm. The two scientists that tried to hold him back began to falter, and he lunged at the control panel once more. \n\n\"I have my orders!\" His shout rang out above their colliding words of reason, and he tried to continue. \"It can't be allowed to start!\"\n\nDr. McGregor knew that he had only moments to make sense of the illuminated runes before the general's bomb would reduce the chamber and all of its occupants to a cautionary tale for would be explorers. \n\n\"I would rather die from this alien machine, than go into the next life not knowing.\"\n\nWith that meaningful statement, recited to three men who likely couldn't hear him over their own yelling, he slid the cryptic scroll into the machine and pressed firmly on a rune. With a click, a whir, and the sound of something making its way through the hull of the machine, the room fell silent. \n\n\"Ow!\" Dr. McGregor exclaimed, as a fist sized cylinder shot from an opening at his knee and struck him. He took a quick step back from the machine, and the bright red container it had spawned. \n\n\"What...what is it?\" Started the General, regaining his composure along side the two scientists who seemed to have forgotten any moment of their lives existed up until now. \n\nRising from a stoop to hold the cylinder towards the audience much like Moses presenting the tablets to the crowd, the doctor gleamed and spoke, \"Gentlemen, today we will finally know what the elusive Co-aca Coa-la truly is.\""
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[WP] What they could never have in life, they found together in death.
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"The man looks so handsome without that meanie-mean glare.\n\t\nHe’s on the ground, all stiff like a board as his ocean blue eyes gaze into the ceiling. I never knew he could look this peaceful. In fact, I never knew *anyone* could look this peaceful.\n\t\nHe isn’t breathing, but that’s okay. Whether he knew it or not, he’ll be happier this way. We were *meant* to be together. I mean, hello, fate? I just wish he could’ve felt it too.\n\t\nIf only removing his harlot of a wife had been enough. She was a nattering little prissy-prissy primadonna, and honestly, things are just better without her around. \n\t\nBut, even after that, he’d still denied our love, and so maybe I had to get a *teensy* bit drastic.\n\t\nIt’s fine, now, though. I’ve solved all our problems. \n\t\nThe love we couldn’t find in life we’ve found in death, and as I hug him closely, that thought makes me all warm and cozy inside.\n***\nWhoa, this got dark! Thanks for the prompt!\n\nIf you like this story, check out my sub! r/longhandwriter"
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[WP] You and 2 friends are stranded on an island, while you've been toiling away building things to survive and return to civilization, your 2 friends have been secretly building a life together, and are planning to convince you to stay
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"I grabbed the berries and went back to the beach. I had set up some traps now, hopefully we wouldn't get suprised by a stray animal invading our home now. Hey, maybe we would get some meat to roast over a fire now, if the traps caught something.\n\n\"Did I just call it *home*?\" I wondered to myself. I really should not start treating this hostile enviroment as my normal life. If I ever wanted to get off of this place, I had to stay alert. We hadn't found tigers here yet, but that does not mean there were none. Same with bears, with gorillas, and other dangerous creatures. If anything were to surprise us...\n\nI reached the glade at sunset. Mary and Steve, my friends, had decided to build a better shelter than what I cobbled together, and they were not kidding. I expected a tent of sorts, maybe even a tree house, not a fully built shack. I looked at the craftsmanship when I noticed a saw lying on the ground.\n\n\"Hey, how did you do that so fast? Better yet, where is this saw coming from? You guys found survivors?\" I asked. They hadn't noticed me yet, deeply focused in a discussion. It was a calm, quiet discussion, much different than the Steve and Mary I knew back at home. Back there, they were yelling, cursing, and probably just a hair away from biting each other's head off. I went to them and sat myself on the makeshift chairs, built out of the tree trunks.\n\n\"Oh, hey Dave! Some more stuff swept on the shore today. Still no bodies. I realyl do not know if that is good or bad.\"\n\n\"Oh. So, Steve, any luck with the radio? Or were you focused on helping Mary with the house?\" I asked him. Back when we found it, he told me to just \"leave it to him, he's an expert\". However, for now, the results seem to have been fruitless.\n\n\"Nope, still not working. I think the water that got in started rusting some pretty important stuff. Maybe we gotta give up that thing for now. Unless we find a second one, we can't do much to repair it.\" He had a point.\n\n\"Oh, before I forget it:\" I said and got the berries out of my bag. \"I found some berries. I already taste-tested them, they don't seem to be harmful. I placed them on the table they built. Mary was a carpenter, so I shouldn't really be surprised that she knew how to build all this stuff, but the effort she went in just to make us shelter was baffling. I could see myself glad that I had been stranded with these two: Anyone else, and we'd probably not even make it past a week. With them, I felt like I could survive here forever.\n\n*Forever? Did I really want to be here forever? But what about Suzie? She probably was worried sick! Knowing her, she was not giving up until she found me, and I missed her, too. She probably survived and was getting everything ready to scour the seas for me.*\n\n\"Or she died...\" I murmured quietly. After all, us three only survived because I knew how to act while in a rescue boat at sea. We got seperated from the others, but managed to find land. Who is to say that we weren't the only one to survive.\n\nSuddenly, I felt Mary and Steve hug me tenderly. \"Shhh... Don't worry. Everything is fine. You overthink too much.\" Mary said. Perhaps she was right. I was on full lockdown mode ever since we stranded here. I had to calm down...\n\n\"Thanks... I needed that. If you don't mind, I will head to sleep early. I had quite the exhausting day. You will be fine, right?\"\n\n\"Aww... Don't worry. Mama Mary and Papa Steve will keep you safe\" Steve said. I was too tired to retort. I went inside the shack to find my sleeping bag. I laid in it and drifted off to an uneasy sleep.\n\n********\n\nI awoke in the middle of the night to laugther. I wondered what it was about and took a peek through the door. I saw Steve, gently caressing Mary, who, while she did not quite encourage him, sounded like she enjoyed it.\n\n\"Steeeeve... Dave's in there. Not now...\" she slurred. I was confused. Did they find alcohol? And if they did, why did Mary drink it? She was usually against drinking it, saying it \"clouded her mind\". Yet, here she was, drunk as a horse, enjoying the touch of Steve, who shared her level of intoxication.\n\n\"Come on. He's asleep, I tell you. He doesn't know... Just enjoy this.\" Steve encouraged her. I felt like I should not listen in, so I closed the door quietly and tried to sleep. Trying to ignore their voices, I pressed my eyes shut and dreamt of Suzie.\n\n********\n\nI returned at sunrise from my trip to the beach. When I awoke, I had decided to check the beach in hopes of any sign of survivors, of Suzie. While I found a few suitcases, there were still no sign of survivors at the beach.\n\nI was greeted by the sight of Steve, who was holding his head in pain. *Ah, Karma truly does exist... You two should have given me from that liquor, guys.* \n\"So, what happened? Did you run face-first into a tree or what?\" I asked, hiding that I knew exactly what happened.\n\n\"Tone it down, I hear you well enough! These berries you brought, I think they weren't that good.\" He said. Steve always was a good liar, and even lies like this where I knew the truth still sounded so believable. Eh, I doubt that they would have any more of that stuff left, so I decided to drop it.\n\n\"Anyways, I found these suitcases. Perhaps there are clothes in them, so we could build a raft and leave this island, using the clothes as sails.\" I suggested. I heard the shack door opening, and Mary came out, with equal headaches plagueing her.\n\n\"Ughhhh... Dave, we already talked about this. We need perfect conditions to use a raft. Once we leave, we cannot return easily. And if we use clothes for the sail, they may rip apart under the strong winds. If they do, we can't repair it. Not even speaking about the winds. One strong wind, and we'd drown. The best thing we can do right now is wait\", she explained. I knew that, but I still think that we could at least prepare the raft. If we'd ever get to the \"perfect conditions\", we would need the raft, right then, right there. Mary turned to Steve.\n\n\"So, I take it you already talked to him about... it?\" Steve shook his head, then held his head as the headache returned.\n\n\"Talk to me about what?\" I asked. Did they want to tell me that they found booze, or better, a way to communicate with the outside world?\n\nSteve stood up and gestured me to follow him. \"I think we can let Mary take care of the stuff inside the suitcases. I wanted to check the cliffside, to see if anything stranded on the bay over there. It's the last place we have not checked yet. Could you join me?\"\n\n********\n\n\"Alright, now what was it that Mary wanted you to to tell me?\" We were halfway through the forest before I mentioned it again. I had hoped that Steve would talk about it by himself, but I realized that he probably wasn't that interested in talking to me about this.\n\n\"Ah, yeah... See, last night, Mary and I...we had a talk. About this situation and about us. I... I don't know how to say this to you...\" he struggled. *Oh, boy. Is he asking if I am alright with him... dating Mary?* I grabbed his shoulder.\n\n\"Steve... I was awake and... I know. I am alright with it.\" I told him.\n\nHe hugged me closely. \"Thank you... You won't regret it, Dave... I will make you proud. We both will...\"\n\n\"There, there. I mean, it will be awkward for a while, but I'll manage.\"\n\nWe moved onwards, and soon, the forest cleared and the cliff bay was in sight. What immediately caught my eye was some sort of torn, black cloth on the rocks. After that, I noticed several pieces of the ship being littered across the bay.\n\nSteve noted that the current must have only swept the light things like the suitcases and the tool boxes to the beach, while heavier things seem to have wound up here, but I cared none about that. Cloth being here meant that someone was here, living or dead. I rushed to the bay to get a better looks at the rocks and immediately regretted my decision.\n\nMy rash curiosity was answered with a truly gruesome sight. Corpses in various clothes, showing the usual bloat of drowned people. Only few had the luck to just drown, it seems. Several of them had open wounds, were missing legs and one even lost his head. Literally. Some of them were disfigured beyond compare, but I tried to find out if I knew them anyways. The most clearly recognized body was the captain, whose body was on one of the rocks. His suit was ripped open, but still adorned his body, and his body adorned the rock in kind. From there, it was mostly guesswork. A black haired woman, which is a description that only fits to the young lady I've seen talk with the Captain during meals was wearing naught but her undergarments. A blonde, old woman, which I fear must have been Steve's mother. She hadn't wanted to come with, but with enough prodding and begging, she finally agreed to the sea cruise with the captain. On the other side of the bay was her husband, still wearing that suit... \nI turned around to see Steve come closer. I yelled to him: \"You do not want to see this. Stay there!\" He saw my face and knew what I had seen."
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[WP] After you die and get to heaven you see a small paper sign on the pearly white gates. It reads "Please use other door." There are no other doors in sight.
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"Ted looks around for a moment for this other door. He looks around the free-standing Pearly Gates to see if maybe this other door is on the other side. Nope. He then pulls on a bit of cloud. like someone lifting up a rug or table cloth. Nothing.\n\n\"Well damn,\" Ted announces. \"I knew this religion thing was bunch of bologna.\" He then looks around to see if anyone else is there. Again, nothing but clouds and emptiness.\n\nTed whistles for a bit before he starts bouncing up and down a bit, almost like he was testing a new mattress. \"Yep. Looks like this is it.\" The man then pulls out his phone, turns the screen on, and checks to see if there is good enough reception to start watching the rest of his NetFlix queue.",
"I blinked a few times. Dying was disorienting. I was glad to see light and feel a warm breeze. It didn't seem like hell. I even saw telltale pearl doors in the distance. Of course, all this could just be chemicals running through my brain as everything finally shut down, but that attitude didn't get you anywhere. I started at a jog and realized there was none of that exhaustion or pain there'd been at the end. I smiled and broke into a sprint that made me happier than I'd been in years.\n\nThe feeling gave way to anxiety as I approached the gate. There was a small piece of white paper that I'd usually have to squint to read but, even from a hundred feet away, it was pretty clear to my new eyes. Please use other door. That got me for a minute, I slowed my pace again and looked all around. The cloudy swirls and sunlight didn't have anything else apart from the gates and a long, golden wall. I frowned at the whole thing.\n\nClimbing the wall was a terrible idea and I let it die. But I didn't want to run around until I found another door, that could end well but I could also fall through the clouds and end up in hell or something dumb like that. I wasn't going to pass up a chance at heaven due to faulty door maintenance. I'd been a super for an enormous building for years. I took a look at the door, simple hinge issue. It would have been easier with tools. As I thought it all the tools and parts I needed appeared next to me. I patched up the door without opening it. Once I was finished I knocked.\n\n\"Thanks for that,\" The voice came from behind me. And I swung around, \"We've been trying to find someone to fix that for years, but no one inside was very handy. Or just couldn't be bothered.\" The woman speaking was a bored looking, but extremely attractive woman behind a podium.\n\n\"Name, please?\"\n\n\"Gerald A Olson.\"\n\n\"You're set for a few years in purgatory,\" She glanced at me over her glass-less spectacles, \"but you did me a favor so head right in.\"\n\n\"Thank you!\" I said, opening the door with a light push, \"If I see you in there we can celebrate over drinks,\" I called back. I was really glad I'd used Gerald's name instead of mine. No doubt he'd be along shortly, and not too pleased his killer had bluffed into heaven using his name. I chuckled as I walked towards a pleasant eternity.",
"My eyes shot open, and I staggered forwards.\n\n\nI was… dead? Muddled thoughts and flashes of the crash churned in my head. I checked my hands; tentatively felt my chest, arms, and legs. There was nothing broken.\n\n\n I *felt* fine. Felt fantastic, in fact. \n\n\nI took a look around me. Blankness like miles of white canvas stretched out in all directions. \n\n\n“Hello?” I called. The sound was muffled, swallowed up by the endless expanse. Silence.\n\n\nI winced, as the panicked face of the driver in the other car flashed before my eyes. “Sorry, random guy ,” I muttered. He was alive at the very least. I stopped that train of thought, and took a wide, panning view of my surroundings.\n\n \n\n\n*Time for some exploration.*\n\n \n\n\n I turned around, and saw *it*.\n\n\nFrom what I could tell from my memories of religion class, I was right before the pearly gates. \n\n\nThe gates in front of me were massive— intricate tendrils of white metal towering above my head. It extended infinitely to my right and left, vanishing in a shroud of white. Pasted eye level to the gate was a piece of paper, with a hastily scrawled message reading, “Please use the other door.” \n\n\nI squinted my eyes to read it again. Rubbed them. Looked at them, once more.\n\n\n “Seriously?” I said, throwing up my hands. “Seriously?” My shout of frustration was swallowed by the whiteness. With nothing left to do, I walked alongside the gate, looking for another opening. \n\n\nHours passed. It could be minutes, or it could’ve been eternity. I didn’t think time existed here. The walk was infuriatingly boring - the blankness leaching every memory of colour from my mind. I longed for color, the deep red of a rose. Anything. \n\n \n\n\n“Screw this,” I said. The bars were cool under my hands. I placed my feet on the ornate tendrils of metal and began to climb.\n\n \n\nI didn't like how this turned out, but here you go! I'd love any critique or comments.",
"\"Oh, I get it,\" Frank sneered. \"It's *Hell.* Great.\" He muttered under his breath. \"Knew I shouldn't have skipped church last sunday.\" But then, how could he have known he'd be having a heart attack before he had any chance to repent?\n\nCome to think of it, how did he *know* he'd had a heart attack? He had been sleeping... hadn't he?\n\n\"Look, I'm not going to give in to this psychological torment game, alright? Just bring out the hot irons already. Let's do things the old-fashioned way.\"\n\nThat was the way he liked things. Old-fashioned Frank. Old-fashioned eggs and sausages for breakfast. Old-fashioned heart attack.\n\n\"Should've listened to doctor Woods, *that's* what I should've done,\" Frank muttered. \"To science and reason.\" He raised his voice. \"None of this *bullshit!*\"\n\n\"You're not in Hell.\"\n\nFrank turned so quickly that by all accounts he should've broken his neck, but then, how would that have turned out, eh? Pretty sure you couldn't die in...\n\n\"Then what is this place?\" He glared at the small, bearded... elf thing that had walked up to him.\n\n\"A warning,\" the elf thing said pleasantly. \"You're just dreaming.\"\n\nFrank pinched his arm, hard.\n\n\"That won't work,\" the obnoxious little man grinned. \"Follow me.\"\n\nFrank decided he might as well, but muttered curses under his breath as he did. \"Stupid elf thing...not even an angel...\"\n\n\"Dwarf, actually,\" the thing said.\n\n\"It's my dream, and I say you're an elf thing,\" Frank grumbled, rubbing his painful arm. \"Dwarf, dwarf... must've picked that up from the boy's stupid Dungeon and Drag-on games.\"\n\n\"We're here.\" The little man said, giving Frank a look of solemn disapproval. \"The door to your... Conscience.\"\n\n\"Give me a break.\" Frank rolled his eyes.\n\n\"Fine,\" the elf thing said, pushing him through the door. \"Don't say I didn't try to ease this on you.\"\n\nFrank would have screamed as he tumbled in the abyss of his own subconscious mind, but screaming was for girls, so he loudly cursed the elf-thing instead.\n\n---\n\nTo be continued in Part 2",
"Andrew Nosely was a serious man. He did things in a promptly, tidy way and always followed the rules.\n\nHe had a routine that he followed precisely everyday. At 5:00 am he would wake up. There was no need for an alarm clock, such a chaotically noisy thing would ruin his morning!\n\nFirst Andrew would get dressed. Left sock, right sock, trousers (left leg first of course), shirt, tie and finally jacket. Always in the same order. Then he would have breakfast, two slices of toast with exactly one tea spoons worth of butter per piece. The toast of course would be the very same shade of brown as the last set.\n\nAfter that it was time to head to work. Andrew would leave at 6:00 AM on the dot to be in work for 7:00, as was stated in his contract. He was never late, yet he was never early either. Even though at the time of the morning that Andrew walked to work the roads would be mostly empty, he would still make sure to stop at all the lights and wait till the green man appeared. Crossing the road before that was against the rules, the thought of it never even occurred to him.\n\nWhat also never occurred to Andrew was that not everyone else was quite as ardent at or capable of following all the rules as himself. He didn’t ever look for traffic as he crossed, so it came as quite a shock for him when a truck that was running a red light slammed into his side. That really quite ruined his day.\n\nEverything went dark and he found himself in a black void. A less organised man might have been inconsolable by such events, but Andrew had already set everything up for after his death so wasn’t really that worried about his predicament. Instead he was quite eager to set up some sort of new routine in the afterlife, after learning all the new rules of course.\n\nGradually the darkness parted, and a piercing whiteness came to replace it. A pure, source less light illuminated everything perfectly, removing all shadows and bathing everything in a glorious healthy glow. And there before him a gargantuan gate of glorious gold and enormous pearls towered above Andrew, stretching into the non-existent skyline. On either side of the gate a large wall stretched infinitesimally in either direction. The wall looked soft to touch and had countless chaotic swirling patterns dancing along the surface.\n\nHowever upon the gate hung a note, and on that note it was written ‘please use the other door’. A cursory glance in either direction would plainly show that wall had no other entrances attached. It continued on into the distance forever without a single break. Even the simplest of minds would soon come to the horrifying conclusion that there was no other door. There was no way into heaven.\n\nWell not for Andrew at least. After all the gate was perfectly scalable, if you looked closely you could even see an old man sleeping in his chair with a sign reading ‘Gate back open’ leaning against him. However for Andrew there was no way he could just break the rules. That was thought was far more terrifying than anything else. He just had to wait.\n\nAs he settled down to wait the swirling patterns on the walls really started to get on his nerves. They were ruining the gates perfect symmetry! Rising from his cosy seat Andrew strode towards the wall and attempted to rub the patterns off. He didn’t hold much hope, after all these were heavenly walls, however to his pleasant surprise the surface was rather malleable. Within barely a few minutes he’d completely smoothed over the swirl!\n\nHowever his jubilation over this achievement didn’t last long, after all there was still more wall to smooth out. Rolling up his metaphysical sleeves, Andrew set himself to task.\n\nHe never did make it into heaven, but he was quite content with the good work that he was doing making the heavens a slightly neater place.",
"John had worked his whole life to get into heaven. He did all the right things, just like what the bible told him. He did not lust after worldly pleasures. He made sure to pray the first thing in the morning, thanking God for all the blessings bestowed upon him. Ten percent of his earnings are automatically transferred to the church each month and he donated generously.\n\nWhen he breathed his last, and felt his soul slowly rose to heaven, the sight of the city replaced by bright white clouds and finally the pearly white gates that rose so high above them that he had to crane his neck to see the top, he told himself that it was worth it. All the blood, sweat and tears to keep himself pure. For the sake of salvation. Eighty years worth of investment.\n\nThere was no one else around him as he walked up to the gates, admiring the sheer beauty of the gate itself. The gold sparkled under the sunlight, basking him in a comfortable warmth that reminded him of his childhood home. A desk was perched in front of the gates, as tall as a redwood tree. He expected Saint Peter to be seated behind the desk, but like his surrounding, it too was empty.\n\n\"Hello? Anybody here? I'm here to enter heaven!\" John called out, his voice floating across the clouds. No one answered him. Perhaps things are done a little slower in heaven, he thought to himself, as he stood in front of the desk, waiting. An eternity seemed to pass, and still no one. No new arrivals, no angels sent to greet him. John began to feel annoyed.\n\n\"Hello! Anyone?\" John called out a little louder. He felt the blood rush to his face. A lifetime of doing good and that was the best service he could get in heaven?\n\nHe crossed his arms as he stomped to the front of the gates itself, his face fixed into an angry scowl. The kind that you do when someone cancels on you. He wanted to push the gates open himself, but a note stuck to one of the gleaming grills caught his eye. Four words were scrawled messily on it, like the writings of a six year old. \"Please use other door.\"\n\nJohn felt his face get a little hotter as he took down the paper. \"Where is this other stupid door?\" he growled, eager to get the entire process of checking in over and done with. \n\nHe peered to his right, and then to his left. Other than the gate and the desk, there were no other structures in sight as far as his eyes could see. If he wanted, he could walk to the other side of the gate. He suddenly realized that he was alone on an empty field of clouds, with only a gate and a desk to accompany him. What kind of joke was God playing on him?\n\n\"Very funny now, God,\" he said, emphasizing the word God by purposely dragging his pronunciation in a louder tone. \"I didn't come here to be pranked. You got me! I give up! Can you let me in now?\"\n\n Still, silence. John rolled his eyes.\n\n\"Look, I don't know what's happening here, but I didn't spend the rest of my life being a good guy only to be denied of what's mine in death!\" John flung the piece paper unto the floor. \n\nNothing. John could feel anger rising inside him. Was everything he had done for naught? He screamed as he punched the desk, the impact reverberating across the empty space. \"What the fuck is this!\"\n\nThere was a loud clap almost immediately after accompanied by a flash of light. A figure now loomed above John, seated on the desk. His tired eyes stared at John.\n\nJohn pounded the desk. \"Finally! Now can you let me in?\"\n\nThe man on the desk, his face mostly covered in his generous white hair and beard, softly shook his head. \"I am afraid not, John.\"\n\nThe relief that John felt dissipated almost immediately,replaced once again by anger. \"What? What do you mean? I have been a good man for the entire of my life! Even followed all your stupid rules.\"\n\n\"Ah, but John, you see, just merely following the rules doesn't get you the salvation. Your intention matters too. Besides, you didn't even manage to get our simple first test right.\" The old man waved his arm, and a screen rose from beneath the cloud. On the screen, the recordings of John shouting and flinging the paper to the floor played out clearly.\n\n\"Wait I can explain,\" John interjected, the old man just smiled.\n\n\"I'm sorry John, but I'm afraid that you've failed to gain entrance to either heaven or hell again. You'll need to try once more,\" he snapped a finger and then disappeared.\n\nJohn wanted to ask what the old man meant by 'again' and 'once more' but even before he could open his mouth, John suddenly found himself plummeting back to earth, his screams barely heard above the rushing wind. After a while his vision would fade to blackness, along with all his memories as he was reborn again. It would be his 46th attempt to get salvation right.\n\n----------\n\n/r/dori_tales",
"There was already a large queue of people waiting outside the gates, which were locked shut with a chunky golden chain.\n\nI gave the gate a rattle. There was no answer.\n\n\"It's no use,\" said one of the others. \"They're closed.\"\n\n\"Closed?\" I said. \"How can heaven be closed? It's eternal.\"\n\nHe shrugged, and went back to chewing on a blade of imaginary grass and staring into the void.\n\nA small sign caught my eye.\n\n*Please use other door.*\n\nI looked around, but there was no other door. Just a large pair of pearly gates rearing up out of the nothingness.\n\nI poked the soul who had spoken to me earlier. \"Where's the other door?\"\n\nHe shrugged again. \"Damned if I know. I've looked for it. We all have. But there doesn't seem to be another way in.\"\n\n\"Well, how long have you been waiting?\"\n\nHe pulled a face. \"Hard to say, mate. Time doesn't pass here. We just... exist.\"\n\nI rattled the pearly gates again. I yelled. I stomped my foot. I cried. I took the Lord's name in vain.\n\nNone of it had any effect.\n\n\"I was supposed to go to heaven,\" I said. \"They told me I would!\"\n\nBut the other soul had floated off into the void, just lying there and waiting.\n\nThere was a small pop, and a little... thing appeared. It wasn't human. Humans don't have horns and red eyes. But it did have a impeccably fitting suit and slicked back hair and a perfect row of gnashers that sparkled whiter than the pearly gates themselves.\n\n\"Hi,\" it said. It looked down at the clipboard. \"Bob Evans? Sorry I'm late. Had to catch up on a few emails.\"\n\n\"You're not an angel,\" I said.\n\n\"Goodness gracious, no,\" it said. \"I'm Kreffing. Tormenter of the 63rd Sub-Level of Hell, among other things. I'm here with a fabulous offer.\"\n\nMy eyes narrowed suspiciously.\n\n\"Really,\" the thing called Kreffing reassured me. \"It truly is once in a lifetime. People die for this kind of deal.\"\n\nHe smiled. His teeth gleamed. Trust me, they said, nobody with teeth this white would lie to you.\n\n\"You're lying to me,\" I said. \"You look like a second hand car salesman.\"\n\nKreffing sniffed and drew himself up to his full diminutive height. \"I'll have you know I've taken seminars,\" he said. \"One of them was taught by Napoleon Hill!\"\n\nI rolled my eyes.\n\nKreffing must have sensed he was getting off to a rocky start. He cleared his throat. \"Anyway, I've come to offer you a place in Hell. Your own luxury torment. A private demon to see to your every nightmare. We even have free Pizza Wednesdays. It really is a fabulous deal.\"\n\n\"Pizza Wednesdays?\"\n\n\"Yes. We waft in the smell of pizza until you are insatiably ravenous.\"\n\n\"Thanks,\" I said. \"But I think I'll wait for the Pearly Gates to reopen.\"\n\nKreffing sighed. \"Your funeral,\" he said. \"Don't say we didn't make you an offer.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\"\n\nThe demon was muttering to himself. \"Oh yes, they always come running back after a few centuries. 'We're bored, Kreffing,' they say. But like I told you, it's a one time offer.\"\n\nHe was floating off into the void. \"Hey,\" I said. \"Do you know where the other door is?\"\n\nHe looked at me with exasperation. \"Idiot,\" he muttered. \"*This* was the 'other door'.\"\n\n\"What do you mean,\" I cried. \"Where am I?\"\n\nKreffing smiled nastily. His teeth were no longer white, but stained and pointed. \"You fool,\" he said softly. \"You're stuck between heaven and hell. Where do you think you are?\"\n\nHe popped out of existence, leaving behind only a cackle that drifted off into the nothingness that surrounded me.\n\nSuddenly I knew where I was. I was in Purgatory.\n\n---\n\n*Read [more about Kreffing](https://www.reddit.com/r/jd_rallage/comments/5zxq9c/hollowed_ground/) at* /r/jd_rallage"
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[WP] In cases of unavoidable accidents, self-driving car companies realize it's cheaper to allow people to die rather than incur a permanent disability. Cars now actively try to kill you after an accident if the computer thinks your non-fatal injury is costly enough.
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"It was in slow motion.\n\nThe car lurched on the breaks an instant before I saw the semi-truck slide on the ice, rolling straight for me at a speed that seemed slow, as if time itself had stopped. \n\nThen I felt the car lurch forward, directly away from the truck. I held my breath as the semi-truck rolled straight into my vehicle. Then I felt the shards of metal in my body and I knew.\n\n\"Annihilation Protocol Activated.\"\n\nI heard the pop of the automated gun from its holster."
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[WP] A huge nuclear war breaks out and destroys all human life. 300 years later, aliens find the ruins of a long lost civilisation.
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"It wasn’t the first time Clup had seen the dead colony of a long forgotten species. He had been science advisor to the Gunglost Empire for the last 10 cycles. 10 cycles of prodding the galaxy for secrets that might save his own slowly dying species. Ever since they had found the unlikely cure to Trux fungus in the ruins of a neighboring planet, there had been a public push to explore more of the Galaxy for solutions to the Empire’s problems.\n\nClup hadn’t found the cure to Trux fungus. Clup did nothing but get decent marks at The Institution and be in the right place at the right time. Namely 13th in command when the hasty opening of an ancient tomb became a national tragedy and 12 unrecoverable bodies later he was direct science advisor to the emperor himself. Not that he had ever met or seen the emperor. A lot had changed since the flashy days of popular science.\n\nAs he approached the class M planet orbiting a little too close to the nearby star, Clup couldn’t help but think he had been in over his head for the last 10 cycles and had copped with the stress through consistent under performance. The public didn’t understand that just because there were plenty of ailments to correct, doesn’t mean the past holds all the answers. Hell, the ‘science’ portion of his title was almost as honorary and hollow as the ‘advisor’.\n\nAs he landed on the planet he glanced up to the viewer long enough to notice his second in command Spritz anxiously looking at him. Spritz still had something to prove and was no doubt planning on proving it through denouncing Clup.\n\n“What is it Spritz?” groaned Clup.\n\n“I feel it is my duty to, once again, mention that it is against protocol to skip orbit procedures and land directly on a planet, class M or otherwise” answered Spritz.\n\n“I hear you Spritz, I just don’t care”.\n\n“Sir, you put the lives of your crew at risk!” said Spritz. \n\n“Those procedures are just a formality, just note your complaint in your report and leave me alone” he responded.\n\nClup got up and left, walking in front of his dramatically offended second in command. “Everything he does is a show to veil his ambition” mused Clup. Not that he particularly cared, it was just exhausting.\n\nMoving down the corridor outside the bridge Clup went to the observation bay. Here various equipment measured and collated information about the planet. As far as planets went this one was a dump. There was little evidence of this place ever having been inhabited. The only real confirmation came from organics readouts and geometrically improbably matter. Basically, there was enough of what constitutes life here, and there were shapes that seemed unlikely without manipulation by lifeforms.\n\nClup went ahead and did the bare minimum of collecting samples and data, most of which was done automatically and none of which required him to leave the ship. It seems that most of the matter was unusually irradiated \n\n“Maybe this would be of interest to the mining authority” he thought.\n\nThe only reason the Science Advisory team even stopped here was because of the proximity of large gaseous planets nearby, the civilizations that lived in those environments were almost always more advanced than the Empire could hope to be. This solar system’s had never been inhabited though and Clup was disappointed to learn that this small, class M planet was the one being indicated by his ship’s sensors.\n\n“Oh well” he thought, “just more of the same”.\n\nHe marked the planet for possible mining and returned to the bridge. Spritz was there waiting for him.\n\n“It seems that the civilization that lived here destroyed itself by incorrectly attempting to harness the power of atomic forces!” he exclaimed in what Clup considered a very condescending tone.\n\n“Did you find the cure to the next Trux fungus or was it just a bunch of irradiated rocks?”\n\n“It isn’t that they are irradiated rocks, it’s how they were irradiated! This planet’s species destroyed themselves!” Spritz pleaded.\n\n“We can harness the atom just fine Spritz, that’s how we got here isn’t it?” Clup said as he started the departure sequence.\n\nSpritz was used to this kind of tone from his superior but he feigned shock for appearances sake as stood to leave the bridge.\n\n“I don’t know why we have to land without following procedures if all we do is leave without doing anything” Spitz said under his breath as he made his way into the hall.\n\nClup knew he shouldn’t talk to Spritz that way but something about all the dead planets was starting to get to him. It would be one thing if it was rare that he saw this exact thing. But almost every planet he had visited for study of past life forms had destroyed itself for seemingly no reason. Well, all except those residing on gas giants but it just seems like those were more rare.\n",
"Year one since the bombs fell from the blue sky, \nSince atoms fused everything into nothing, \nSince petty quarrels sent the world awry, \nSince man died at the touch of a button. \n\nYear twelve since the bombs fell from the blue sky, \nYet somehow clinging to the precipice, \nLife recovers, creeping slowly to try \nand wrest some green from the grey elements. \n\nYear two-ten since the bombs fell from the sky, \nAnd still some of man’s vast footprint remains, \nThe wind through empty skyscraper husks sighs, \nBlackened and burnt from the searing white flames. \n\nYear three hundred since bombs fell from the sky, \nAnd a broken doll speaks its ancient cry, \nThe heavens open as if in reply, \nA shaft of green light; others have arrived. ",
"The ship fluttered onto the ground with graceful aplomb. The crew, long asleep, lay in various positions on the floor. They were not disturbed by the gentle thump as the ship landed on Earth, a long irradiated hellhole. The autopilot had simply picked the nearest planet it could find after the captain began his quiet slumber, as it had done many times before. \n\nMike, the captain of this vessel, began the groggy stages of awakening, and the ship performed his ablutions. He was clean as a whistle before he had even taken full stock of his surroundings. He looked out the bay window. *Another day, another currency unit,* he thought. He had woken up on places just like this on many occasions. Or so he thought. \n\nHe was in the middle of his morning Cup of Joe when the rest of the crew began stirring. He heard there many footfalls as they began avoiding their work. \"Lazy bums,\" he said to himself. Joe nodded. \n\n\"Sir, are you ready to continue our mission?\" A stereotypical robotic voice asked through the intercom. *Yeah, right, 'our' mission,* he thought. He rolled his 3 eyes. \n\n\"Not yet Bessie, I still have to...\" he realized he had no good reason. He really didn't want to go because he feared his boss would yell at him for being late again. \"I have to uh, um yes, I have to search this planet for signs of life!\" He said triumphantly. \n\n\"...uh-huh.\" Bessie replied, full of sass this morning. \n\n\"I could do without the 'tude, you dastardly ship.\" \n\n\"Oh sure, I'm the one with the problem. I am the one who is surely going to be reprimanded by the boss when we get back, because I suddenly took leave of my senses and decided to explore an irradiated wasteland, on which, I am honestly surprised we've survived this long.\" \n\nMike knew that the ship was right. He also hated the ship. \n\n\"Oh shut up. We're going to find life on this stupid rock, and then you'll be sorry!\" \n\n\"Yeah, okay.\" The ship replied back sarcastically. Mike made a mental note to ask the crew to maybe turn down her sass parameters. He had no idea how the ship worked. \n\n\"Bessie! I command you to fly around this planet for a while, and alert me if you find anything.\" The captain walked out the door before she could reply, and felt good about getting the last word. He almost ran into the rest of the crew, now fully awake. Kelly pretended to be busy around the ships electronic bits, Mark did not seem to notice the captain and continued to laze about on the couch, while Xzedoloder worked at his desk, which for some reason was in the middle of the ship. \n\n\"Heyyo captain, how's the old ship treating you?\" Mark asked, noticing him. \n\n\"Not well, Mark. I think somebody needs to take that automaton down a peg or six.\" \n\nMark considered this. \"Well if anybody could, it's old Excel over there.\" He nodded at Xzedoloder. The intercom crackled to life. \n\n\"You know I can still hear you, right?\" \n\nMike looked up at the intercom defiantly, still failing to grasp that Bessie was the entire ship, and could be addressed no matter where he looked. \n\n\"You found any signs of life yet on your fancy scanners?\" He shouted aggravated-ly. \n\n\"No Sir I have not, and I assure you I...\" The ship trailed off. \n\n\"Wait, did you really?\" Mike asked in shock. \n\n\"No, it's not life but...there are structures here.\" The ship replied more agreeably.\n\nMike was ready to jump up and down. Structures! He was about to become Universally famous! He sprinted to his office. Out of the bay window lay a large pyramid, ancient and dilapidated. Some of the bricks were heavily degraded or missing completely. He visibly dropped. \n\n\"No Bessie, this one was us.\" \n\n___\n/r/Periapoapsis"
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[WP] You are on a peaceful sailing excursion with your significant other. Suddenly you hear orchestral music playing from an unknown source. You feel uneasy.
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[wp] you are on a peaceful sailing excursion, it's just you and your significant other. suddenly orchestral music beings to play from an unknown source. you feel uneasy.
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"*Just remember her on our wedding day,* Lin told herself - and sighed longingly at the thought of it - The flowing pearlescent dress, the train floating gracefully (yet carelessly) on the small waves of the beach. Aurelia looked beautiful then, and once she was done retching over the side of their boat, Lin was sure she'd look beautiful once more. \n\nAurelia liked the sea. The beach wedding was her idea in the first place, but as it turns out, Aurelia didn't like boats. Lin rubbed her back, mostly bare (because who was there to see?) and said: \n\n\"All done?\" \n\n\"Buh,\" Aurelia replied, \"I liked our breakfast,\" She wiped her mouth, \"But I really didn't need to see it twice,\" And winced. \n\n\"I'm not sure I needed that image, must I suffer with you - darling?\" Lin frowned and took a step back from the side of the boat. Aurelia straightened herself out and turned around. They were on the way to an island that Lin's father owned for their honeymoon. \n\n\"You put a ring on it,\" Aurelia grinned. And then that grin faded, because they both heard something unknown. \n\n\"What's--?\" Lin cut herself off so she could listen. It was a low rising sound, something distant but loud all the same. Like a whale song, but there was a melody. Something more to it than a cry in the ocean. But from the ocean it certainly was, that much they both knew. \n\nThey both rushed to the far side of the boat and peered over the side into the deep blue and though both women lost their breath to the sight, they weren't surprised by what they saw. \n\nThey weren't surprised by the lights or the glittering gold, as shocking as the sight may be. They weren't shocked because this display of nautical majesty was the only sight that could explain the sounds that now boomed from below and created heavy pulsing ripples in the water. \n\n\"I'm not, like, sea-delirious am I? I haven't caught the ocean-madness?\" For a short while the uneasiness in Aurelia's stomach settled. \n\n\"No, no, that's-- I see it-- That's an orchestra,\" Lin was stammering and breathless. \n\n\"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!\" Aurelia threw her hands into the air and ran towards the cabin, \"I'm going to get the camera!!\" \n\n\"Hurry!\" Lin shouted, totally on board with the idea, \"This is so cool!\" \n\nThrough the blur of the ocean it was hard to make out the details. The instruments were huge and being carried by entire schools of fish, golden harps and monstrous brass tubes. All of them swirling with the music. Lin was sure she could make out a choir of sirens joining in. \n\n\"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,\" Aurelia ran back, digital camera on hand, \"I'm almost definitely going to barf but this is so worth it!\" \n\nLin laughed, at Aurelia and the sheer joy the display. The bombast of the mermaid orchestra below, as though the entire ocean was playing a song of its approval of their love. \n\nLin had hoped, in the back of her mind. Never expected. \n\nThe last time she had seen a mermaid was in only a childhood memory."
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[WP] Humanity has finally achieved interstellar travel. Our first communication with another intelligent species is just two words. "Welcome back."
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"It has been about 100 years.\n\nIt was 1977 when we first made extraterrestrial contact. Sure, we did not know it yet, but 100 years of communication, starting with the Arecibo message, revealed that we now talk--albeit using pictographs--with other intelligent life forms.\n\nAnd now they want to meet us.\n\nThey sent some form of spacecraft in our direction, and we sent our own.\n\nI am the communications director of HMS Apocalypsis.\n\nThe journey wasn't that long, only about nine months. The alien technology shared to us made sure of that. But all those alien technology didn't prepare me for the sight I beheld one Thursday morning.\n\nIt did not look like a ship, it was more like a space station. It had a rocket core, but it seemed that it was built on in a modular fashion over time.\n\nAs communications director, I started pictograph-messaging the ship. They responded to my request to enter their range of fire in the affirmative, so I informed the captain that he can now use hyperspace. Half a day later, we are about to port on the alien ship.\n\nThe captain entered the alien ship first, followed by me as communications director. We are in a big room, a sort of hangar, with doors to the left and right. We are greeted by no one.\n\nI heard a whisper in the corner, behind the right door. \"What are we supposed to say?\"\n\n\"I don't know.\"\n\nAre the aliens speaking English?\n\nI beckoned for Captain to follow me when the sound of boots stepping came from the left door. We looked, to be greeted by a group of humans wearing commander-like uniforms.\n\nThe most official one spoke first. \"Who among you is the colony commander?\"\n\n\"Wha-\"\n\nSomebody looking like an aide piped in. \"Sir, are you sure they have any recollection of their prior lives before their expedition?\"\n\nWhat are they talking about? Colony? Expedition?\n\n\"Quite,\" the commander (I assume) of the ship answered. \"All of you, follow me to the Briefing Room.\"\n\nAs I walked with the whole 50-man crew of the Apocalypsis following the alien humans, I admired this ship-city they built in the middle of the void. The corridors are large, like cavern-like streets. The rooms were also like buildings, with windows and all.\n\nAt last, we reached the Briefing Room, which looked like the House of Commons chamber back in Westminster, but with a big screen at the top of the Speaker's Chair. The Alien Commander sat at the Speaker's Chair and beckoned us to sit in the benches. The aide from earlier stood and spoke.\n\n\"12077 years ago, we sent a colonization team from our home planet Gaea to the planet that we all call Earth. We kept constant communication with them for about a decade until transmission broke down. Although we didn't determine the cause then, we now know that apes destroyed all equipment that the pioneers--your forefathers--had, forcing them to begin from scratch. We believed for 11977 years, however, that you were wiped out.\"\n\n\"When we accidentally sent a burst of waves at you, you responded with a binary message with pictographic depictions of our race. I believe this is your transmission.\"\n\nHe then showed us the decoded Aparecibo message.\n\n\"So we gave you the necessary equipment to advance your tech, and now we are on equal footing.\"\n\n\"I believe that's enough. All of you-\" the Commander looked at us \"Welcome back.\"",
"“We’re being scanned!”\n\nCaptain Mercer straightened in her chair. “What?” The bulb of coffee she’d been drinking bounced off the holder intended to keep drinks from floating freely around the bridge, but she ignored that. “Confirm.”\n\n“Confirmed, several directed beams of radiation sweeping across us.”\n\n“Show me.”\n\nThe holographic screen came to life before Mercer, showing the inner portion of the star system her ship was just entering. Data built up on the plot quickly as Tracking updated it. She stared at it, forcing herself to wait. Captains were expected to be calm, to wait for full information, but it was hard. Especially when Tracking added velocity vectors to the origins of the scan beams focusing the *Gyaan*.\n\n“Reconfirm,” Mercer said as she studied the display. Her bulb of coffee rebounded from the Engineering console, and would have kept going if Commander Huber’s assistant hadn’t snagged it quickly. “And launch a second probe shell.”\n\n“Already done,” Commander Lynn said. “You want me to redirect the closer of the first shell toward them?”\n\n“Yes.”\n\n“Uh, Commander?” Ensign Acevedo asked hesitantly.\n\nMercer and Lynn both looked at the man sitting in the most junior seat at Tracking.\n\n“Spit it out Ensign,” Lynn said.\n\n“The camera feeds on the drones—”\n\n“—Are lightspeed. It’ll be half an hour before we can get any usable information from them.”\n\n“But we’ve been receiving them ever since they launched, and the probes have been using the cameras. I just triangulated the point sources against the probes’ data, and ran the target areas through enhancement. I’ve got … you should see this.”\n\nMercer spoke before Lynn could. Her Second could be impatient, and prone to dismissiveness. Which was why he wasn’t a captain yet. “Throw it on my display Ensign.”\n\n“Aye Captain.”\n\nA window opened in the holographics before Mercer’s chair. She blinked as she saw what were, unmistakably, several spaceships. The design was completely alien, but there was *no* way those were just asteroids or some other natural body caught in a weird pattern of shadows. Metal and other advanced materials, smoothed and cut and shaped into what could only be pressure vessels, sensor dishes, thruster nozzles, and other ship parts.\n\nAnd there were three of them in the recorded camera footage.\n\n“Status change,” Lieutenant Burris announced from Lynn’s other side.\n\n“More scans?”\n\n“No,” Burris said, shaking her head. “I think it’s a broad spectrum communications attempt.”\n\nMercer raised a hand as Lynn turned, his eyes meeting hers. After thinking for several moments, she turned to Lieutenant Commander McCray. “Pull up the first contact package, and start broadcasting it. Make sure we use some of the frequencies they are in their comm attempt.”\n\n“Aye Captain,” her Operations officer said. As the woman bent to her own console, Mercer looked back to Lynn and beckoned to him. He unstrapped and pushed away from his own chair, floating closer. She waited until he’d grabbed onto one of the holdfasts on her chair to stabilize himself in zero gravity so they could talk.\n\n“Defense?” he asked quietly.\n\n“No,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re not combat, just exploratory. Even if they’re as unarmed as *our* ships were prior to the System Rebellion of 2127, we’re out numbered. They’re either willing to talk, or willing to let us leave, or we’re already screwed.”\n\nHe didn’t like it. She could see it in his eyes. But he nodded after a moment. “Should we at least go to DS Two?”\n\n“No, that’s too aggressive. But I want a hyper fix prepped and set for continuous updates, so we can jump without delay if we need to. On a random vector, so we don’t point the way back to Lumiere. Do the same with the comm drones; make sure they’re all set for three successive random jumps, at least ten lights each jump, before they return to Lumiere. Drop one now with everything we’ve got at this point, and make damned sure the others are on continuous update.”\n\n“Captain,” McCray said.\n\n“Go,” Mercer told Lynn. He nodded and pushed away from her. She looked at her Operations officer as Lynn grabbed onto the back of his chair.\n\n“They’re responding to our hail.”\n\n“Let me know when Dr. Zachegio has an estimate on how long until we can translate—”\n\n“The hails are in … they’re in our languages,” McCray interrupted quickly. “English, German, Arabic, Mandarin, Spanish, Japanese … in fact, every language in our first contact package.”\n\nMercer blinked and forced herself to sit thinking for several seconds. That was … either a good sign, or a *very* bad one. “Okay, let me hear it.”\n\nMcCray tapped several controls as Mercer adjusted her earpiece. A few moments later, she heard a strangely normal voice.\n\n“Greetings and welcome to Orias Nine. Peace be with us all. If you’ll hold your course, we’ll rendezvous with you so we can talk without lightspeed lags. Or, if you want to take it slower, adjust your frequencies and power settings on the transponder you used to send your message according to the instructions attached to this response, and you’ll be able to talk to us in near real-time.”\n\nMercer glanced at McCray as the voice fell silent. “Is this a joke?” she asked, unable to help herself.\n\n“What? No! No ma’am.”\n\n“How is it I’m hearing a human voice, in English?”\n\n“That’s what was transmitted to us.”\n\nMercer considered the pale expression on the Lieutenant Commander’s face for several seconds, then swiveled her chair to look at her Engineering officer. “Johan?”\n\nJohan Huber was studying his displays, hands moving non-stop, and spoke without looking away from what he was doing. “I’ve got the instructions they appended. I don’t see how they’ll get around lightspeed lag, but they’re easy to follow. Software changes basically. Won’t take a minute to input. ”\n\n“It could be a trap,” Lynn said immediately.\n\n“How?” Huber asked, still not turning from what he was working on.\n\n“Give them better targeting information, guide missiles or assault drones in on us.”\n\n“They can do that already,” Mercer said, snipping the budding argument off immediately. “We’re broadcasting like a Christmas tree, with sensors and comm beams. Three options, remember?”\n\nLynn looked over his shoulder at her, and nodded after a moment. “Orders Captain?”\n\n“Make the changes,” she told Huber.\n\n“On it.”\n\nMercer sat patiently while her officers studied their consoles. Some of the junior members of the bridge crew were glancing around, but the more experienced personnel stayed on task. Focusing on the sensor data, on whatever their duties demanded, while Mercer waited for Engineering to get caught up with the strange instructions.\n\n“Finished,” Huber said, finally looking up at her to nod. “It’s on the display as Orias Response Channel.”\n\n“You heard him,” Mercer said, shifting her gaze to McCray. “Put me on live mic.”\n\n“Aye Captain.”\n\nShe waited until the Operations officer flashed a thumbs up. Her stomach was fluttering. Over six thousand years of human civilization, nearly two hundred years of off-Earth colonization, thirty-four years of space duty, eighteen system explorations, six years in command of *Gyaan*, and it had all led to this moment.\n\n“This is Captain Jessica Mercer of the *UHS Gyaan*. We come in peace. To whom am I speaking?”\n\n“Greetings. I’m Toolan, of the Alpha Expanse. Do you have visual communications capability, or can you only do audio?”\n\n“We can do video.”\n\n“Feed this signal through it then.”\n\nMercer raised an eyebrow, but when she looked at McCray, the officer nodded and touched several controls. A new window opened in Mercer’s holographics, and she felt the tingling warmth of the display’s scanners sweeping across her to capture her own image for the transmission.\n\nShe blinked when she saw what was unmistakably an adult human male standing in what could only be a human styled room. Not floating, or sitting strapped down like she was, but standing. All the proportions of the furniture and fittings and clothing she could see were human. Strangely styled, and with a ‘fashion sense’ that was foreign to her; but human. Several other people were in the background, all of them standing watching. One waved, and received an elbow in the ribs from one of the others.\n\n“Is this some sort of elaborate prank?” she asked before she could stop herself.\n\n“How so?” the man close to the camera, or whatever they were using to capture his image for the signal, asked.\n\n“You look like us. And know our languages. Are you human?”\n\n“Technically, you look like us. But that’s a philosophical question. Are you Captain Mercer?”\n\n“I am. Are you Toolan?”\n\n“Yes. Congratulations on reaching the stars again.”\n\n“What do you mean again?”\n\n“It’s a long story.”\n\nShe frowned. “I’d appreciate some form of the short version if you don’t mind.”\n\n“If I understand your numerical system correctly, about six thousand years ago a primitive colony ship went off course and crashed on a remote planet. One of ours, and the planet was yours. At the time, we were in the middle of a long period of social upheaval, and no consensus could be reached about whether or not we should rescue the survivors or … use them as a sort of science experiment.”\n\n“What?” Mercer blurted. She heard that same word echoed, openly or in a more restrained fashion, by a number of her listening officers.\n\nToolan shrugged. “I wasn’t there, so don’t blame me.”\n\n“What kind of science experiment?” she asked, forcing herself into the most logical response she could muster.\n\n“Most of our upheaval was centered around, for lack of a better description, what kind of people we should be. As a people, a whole people you know? The colony ship, you guys, was seen as a way to encapsulate a control into the debate. By the time we stopped arguing, you guys, or your ancestors anyway, were already busy evolving again. So it was decided to just leave it alone and watch.”\n\n(continued)\n",
"\"4 minutes until we reach communication range\"\n\nA statement followed by nothing but silence and nervous breath. It's been 4 years since the crews departure of earth, a one way mission only accompanied by the best in their respective fields, many with little relationship to leave behind, only the yearning for exploration.\n\n\"3 minutes everyone. This is what we have been waiting for\"\n\nIndeed it has been, this whole trip aimlessly floating through the vacuum of space, the goal has been to make communication with a foreign intelligent species. Everyone had hopes but deep down none of them really thought this moment would come. A heavy fog of fear and anticipation spread through the room like wild fire. They should be ecstatic, giving up their whole lives and careers on earth in search of intelligent life, but now that they have found it, primal fear and terror of the unknown lingers in each one of the crew members. Should they make contact with this foreign species and immediately face death their whole mission would be in vein. Everything they left behind just to be obliterated light years away from home with nothing to show for. \n\n\"1 minute and 30 seconds\"\n\nWords muttered from the head of command James Ferrin a life long dreamer graduated top of his class and world renowned physicist. Growing up in New York with so much life bustling around him, yet he was never satisfied. Always believed there was more to it then what surrounded him.\n\n\"30 seconds\"\n\nCrew members begin triple checking their equipment. Who knows, this could be their only chance, should they mess up they could spook the possibility of interstellar communication away sending it perhaps light years by the second into the distance.\n\n\"10 seconds, prepare the message\"\n\nAh the message, something brought up and revised at least once a week on their trip. Fear of it being too abrasive to begin with \"we come from earth\" and boom before you can reach the whole peace concept you've been blown into a million pieces. It was determined the voice would be stern and deep, sure to speak fast getting the point across that they had arrived in peace but also put up the facade they were not to be messed with.\n\n\"Roll the message\"\n\n\"Greetings, my name is James Ferrin looking to communicate with your kind in peace, me and my crew have travelled many a star system in search for your kind, if you understand us please respond\"\n\nSilence fell. Heavy breaths of possible relief echoed throughout the room. Maybe they weren't ready to communicate with another form of life, could they truly handle it not being all in theory. As James Ferrin starts to address his crew he is interrupted by a high pitched voice that fills the cabin seemingly through more than just the speakers.\n\n\"Welcome back, we weren't sure if we would see your kind again, relax, you've won.\"\n\nThe cabin erupts in a state of panic and shock. They wonder why there is nothing to translate. Linguists who have spent their lives creating systems to translate over a million possible languages sit in awe as the English words come in clear and concise. James Ferrin begins to speak with an uncontrollable shake in his voice.\n\n\"This is officer James Ferrin again, what do you mean by back, and uh... we won, what did we win. How do you know who we are\"\n\n\"Well you see, some fourty-nine thousand years ago we placed you barbarians on earth in our contest. Every 50,000 years we spend time building and testing new prototypes for our race. The rules are simple. The first to reach us wins. Congratulations\"\n\nThe cabin is full of sweat and awe, the crew in absolute disarray stare at officer James Ferrin for guidance. As if he doesn't feel anything more then a pawn in a game of chess right now.\n\n\"I don't quite understand. What is it that we've won what's going on.\" \n\n\"Well, actually I've won, your kind is my creation, the prize is quite grand really I get to destroy all the other planets personally and return home a champion.\"\n\nJames Ferrins mouth is agape. No word more than confusion can describe his face at the moment. He wants to speak but what could he possibly say.\n\n\"Destroy the other planets? There's more? How did you know we would come to you? What happens to us\"\n\n\"Well of course I've got to have some prize to enjoy right? All of the other contestants made their own \"planets\" or sad excuses of rather to try and race me, and well time was almost up, but I had faith in you \"earthlings\" as you've named yourselves. And well let's just say I've been leading you here I don't want to get too into it and jumble that puny brain of yours any further.\"\n\nJames begins to raise his voice in frustration.\n\n\"So you mean to tell me. Human life as we all have known it has been nothing but a game? A fucking game? All of our lives and the people back at home, their lives, it's all been for nothing? You worthless piece of scum.\"\n\n\"Uh uh uh don't get testy with me now, I didn't create you to sass me.\"\n\n\"Jesus fucking Christ. Well now what. Now what happens we are supposed to just go back and live our pointless fucking lives huh?\"\n\n\"Well... James. James it is right? I've got some business to handle and some planets to make go boom, on top of that I've got a few more bugs to take care of with my next prototype but I can assure you it's going to crush the competition next year and get here in what I calculate to be half the time it took you guys.\"\n\n\nJames slams his hand into his voice activation panel and begins to scream.\n\n\"ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION. WHAT DO WE DO NOW\"\n\n\"The new games begin in 12 years, go home and enjoy your feeble life until then, earth will be wiped clean for the reigning champ to defend his title, toodles!\"\n\nThe crew sit still, no one daring to say a word. James drops into his chair carelessly and mutters.\n\n\"Bring us home.\"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nHey everyone only my second time writing here, I'm sorry if it sucked. I had a little trouble wrapping it up cohesively I think. Any constructive criticism and feedback is welcome, thanks for reading!",
"\"Sir, they are attempting contact. Are you ready?\". George nods quietly. He stands in his suit with a large camera pointed directly at him. On the screen at the back of the room, just behind the camera, he sees them. Tall, thin, with giant eyes that are too big for their faces. There are three creatures. The one in the middle clearly in charge. He barely registers what they are saying as he stands in awe and their magnificence. He should be afraid, but he's not. Suddenly he realises they are all pointing their glistening eyes at him awaiting a response. He vaguely recalls them saying they are peaceful, or something to that effect. \"Welcome back\" George says simply.\n\nThe creatures in the other ship, humans as they had been come to known, looked at each other with fright. Their eyes turned fearful and their feed muted while they discussed among themselves. George raised one eyebrow and turned to his advisor. \"Surely they were expecting this?\" George questions. \"I don't know sir. I'm not reading anything from their feed. Reality is our intel on earth went dark eons ago. We have no idea what they do, or don't, know. They sure look confused.\n\". His advisor was a man he had trusted for many years, he was short, and his skin was a little blue for his race, but he was good, kind, and brilliant at his job.\n\nThe human feed came back online. George turned to what was now two humans and waited for them to speak. The one in the middle cleared his throat, shuffled a little in his place, he was clearly nervous. \"My name is Sir Alan Chris. We are Humans from the Planet Earth, part a solar system in the Milky Way. We travelled far to reach you. Humans discovered interstellar travel not long ago by intergalactic standards, and this is our first contact with a species that is not from Earth. The Milky Way is not kind to intelligent life. However, you seem to have come across a species similar to us and we would like to know more at another time. For now, we request access to land and meet with you. We come in peace.\". There was an eerie silence in both rooms. \"Sir Alan Chris. You may land. Co-ordinates to the landing zone are on the way. Only three may leave your ship to meet with us. We are a peaceful species, you have nothing to fear from us.\" George nodded and the feed was cut. \n\nThe new humans would land within the hour. George didn't have much time. He had to figure out how tell them there are many human colonies living on his planet. This was going to be interesting.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-------------------\nThanks for reading! If you have any feedback, please comment below.\n\nIf you liked this story, and want to read more, you can find more on Wattpad.\nhttps://www.wattpad.com/user/the_skye_writes\n"
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[WP] The New World Order just passed a law: one free murder for everyone.
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"**Nobody Broke the Law**\n\nJake came home to find his wife in bed with another man. He stabbed that man to death. \n\nThat man's brother hunted Jake down and drowned him in a shallow pool. \n\nJake's father electrocuted the brother. \n\nThe brother's nephew gunned Jake's father down in the street. \n\nJake's father's sister poisoned the brother's nephew. \n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend icepicked Jake's father's sister in the neck. \n\nJake's father's sister's son pushed the brother's nephew's best friend in front of a train.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle sicced a pack of wolfdogs on Jake's father's sister's son.\n\nJake's father's sister's son's wife strangled the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle using piano wire.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin slipped black mambas in to Jake's father's sister's son's wife's bed, and their venom killed her.\n\nJake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist, who for years had been deeply in love with her, ran the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin over with a riding lawn mower.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law burned down Jake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's house down while Jake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist was asleep inside.\n\nJake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate inside a jagged spike into the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's urethra, spun it around, and waited for sepsis and necrosis to do the rest.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape trapped Jake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate in a hole in the woods for weeks until he starved to death.\n\nJake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate's fairy godmother crammed so much fairy dust into the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape's mouth that its stomach burst in a rainbow-coloured explosion.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape's patron saint came down from on high, bearing a heavenly mace made of stardust and whimsy, to club Jake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate's fairy godmother into mash.\n\nJake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate's fairy godmother's personal demonic tormentor, now at a loss for anything to do, summoned a plague of carnivorous locusts to devour the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape's patron saint.\n\nThe brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape's patron saint's holy defender, an angel of the seraph, heaven's martial order, pummeled Jake's father's sister's son's wife's lawn care specialist's former roommate's fairy godmother's personal demonic tormentor into a thick black paste.\n\nLucifer unleashed the might of hell's fury upon the brother's nephew's best friend's uncle's cousin's father-in-law's super-intelligent trained ape's patron saint's holy defender, turning him into a wink of light.\n\nGod got upset and made Lucifer go away for a little while.\n\nJake's wife saw all this, and she said, \"Oh geez.\""
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[WP] You open your eyes and take you first few steps in the new world. You have died but have been resurrected by transferring your mind into the body of a robot.
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"Bullet shells hitting the rain-soaked pavement. The surprised honk of a hover car. These were the last things Li-On Amarga heard. His body fell, arms and legs spread against the black ground.\n\nHe was annoyed. His killers hadn't been patient enough to wait for him at the club. At least there, his lead-riddled body would've been able to rest against a satin lined floor, with a synthetic jazz tune humming him towards the next Bridging. Maybe he would've gotten a drink or two in as well.\n\nLi-On vowed to work on being faster after this Bridging. In a life spanning a few centuries, a good death was one of the few luxuries he had. Any further regret was cut short as black shrouded his eyes.\n\nThe Bridging began. For a few seconds, Li-On's senses were split. A bare chest felt the steady trickle of blood. The musk of rainwater filled up an empty mouth. Neurons and circuits died in one moment, and were reborn in the next.\n\nIn decades long past, Li-On would've been trusting himself to a crapshoot. The Bridging method was involuntary, and chose its targets at random. Based on the criteria, he could've ended up in anything from a train to a toaster oven. But with new technology, not only could the Bridging be controlled, but there were far more viable targets as well. Every city, nowadays, had at least a dozen metal-and-bone people strutting about. \n\nOf course, there still was the risk of *who* he was Bridging into. Not all MBs were basement dwellers. And most people didn't take kindly to a stranger jumping into their loved ones' bodies. Even if that stranger's intellect was worth more than the damn planet.\n\nLi-On felt the blood and rain fade away. He could already receive auditory information, and it made him smile. No screams, no sudden, vulgar outbursts. Wonderful.\n\nHis hands reached out, prepared to start his new life. Instead of reaching out into open air, they collided into a hard surface only inches away. \n\nVisual input kicked in. Li-On swiveled his head about. He was encased in a box, made from some hard, white plastic. He tried pushing again, but the wall didn't budge. \n\nHad he jumped into some kind of prison? A surgery? An impulsive claustrophilia session? \n\nHe started to kick and pound against the white, with increased intensity. Plenty of noise was made, but the walls didn't budge. As Li-On's eyes got used to the darkness, he noticed something troubling.\n\nHis arms and legs weren't flesh, or partially MB. Gray finger joints and white casing stared back up at him. Total mechanization.\n\nThen things came cascading, one after another. Footsteps thumped outside. A muffled, angry voice came closer, increasing in volume. Something clicked, and the white walls fell back. Morning light flooded into Li-On's face, but it didn't faze him. He knew at this point, that his eyes were capable of readjusting to sudden bursts of light. At a rate faster than a human being's.\n\n\"- maid's making a goddamn racket!\" said a big, bulky man in linen pajamas. He turned and leered. \"What's with the fuss, bot?\"\n\nLi-On leaped forward and slammed a hand into the man's stomach. He toppled like a piece of paper. Flesh squished under Li-On as he started forward and placed his hands on the man's head. His servos clinked together in nice, neat fashion. The man's bones crackled like hardened oatmeal.\n\nA little inconvenient. And unexpected. But Li-On felt he could adapt. Even as a bot, he could definitely - \n\nHe looked up, and saw a mirror. Staring back at him was a gynoid, dressed in a revealing, chrome maid uniform. A gleaming piece of sex appeal.\n\nLi-On groaned, or stuttered, whatever the robot equivalent was. Without hesitation, he turned and threw himself out the nearest window.\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"I opened my eyes and examined my surroundings. I saw familiar faces.\n\n“Easy now,” a voice from behind me spoke. “Why don't you check some basic motor functions?”\n\nI raised my arms and examined my hands. The work was truly top notch. I could barely spot the differences. I wiggled my toes. No response.\n\n“Uh, Doc? My toes.”\n\n“We never added toes to this generation of android. It's planned for the next gen. You didn’t exactly die according to plan.”\nI was growing more annoyed the more he spoke. “Who cares about when I died? You could have... Why does my voice sound weird?”\n\nHis voice grew more nervous, ”We couldn't get the vocal impressions to take properly.” I made a note to myself, I clearly have to kill him for this level of incompetence.\n\nI stood up and felt increasingly stable. I told my right leg to step forward and it worked. Finally, something that wasn't handled by the moron doc behind me. I wasn’t ready to address the crowd gathered around the operating table. I skimmed the faces making sure that everyone who was supposed to be present was standing here.\n\n“Doc, are there any other discrepancies in this model that I should be made aware of?”\n\nRustling through his clipboard looking for a paper, he stammered, “We, uh, put them all on this list.” \n\nA list, I thought, it will be more than the good doctor that will meet his end. I snatched the paper from his hands and perused through the items. Nothing looked too exceptionally awful. Oh, wait, there is this item.\n\n“Why does this body have no defensive shields,” I asked incredulously? “How am I supposed to defend myself without shields? I may have forgiven the toes and voice but leaving out the shields.”\n\n“Sir, we didn’t want to leave them out, but the batteries kept exploding. The shields would overload the battery and … boom.”\n\n“Boom,” I asked thoughtfully.\n\nAs if it was to be helpful, he imitates the sound and used his free hand to demonstrate an explosion. I thought to myself, he’s not just a moron, he’s an idiot. I resisted my desire to kill him now and instead muttered, “You’re fired.” To myself, I added, “Please, let the next doctor not be such a fool.” I rubbed my temples and realized that it was a habit, I didn’t have a headache. The small victories of now being an android.\n\nThe doctor stepped back but didn’t leave the room. I would have to deal with him later. I had more pressing matters, like conducting the next phase without shields. I should be used to complications, but they are still annoying. I didn’t have a plan but I wasn’t going to let that impede my confidence. I forced a smile and looked at the crowd who had witnessed everything. I contemplated killing the doctor for effect.\n\n“Friends, today marks the start of a new venture. Our dreams are now within our grasp. We can mold the world in an image that reflects our values. Those who have opposed us for so long will not be able to stop us. We are stronger than we have ever been. Unfortunately, I will not be leading the charge against them, because of a battery problem. (That will be rectified quickly.) This setback will not prevent our ultimate victory, but will make the ultimate victory so much sweeter.” I paused for effect and looked into the blank stares of those gathered around me.\n\nI was about to continue my rousing speech, when a voice on the intercom interrupted with laughter, “I would have loved to see where it was going to go, but we have enough.”\n\n“What? That voice, I know you.” I thought hard. “Why can’t I place your voice?”\n\n“Voice modulation. It’s almost what you know, but something is off.” He left the microphone on as he told someone nearby, “You can turn the hologram off now.”\n\nAll my friends vanished. I stared in disbelief. My brain rushed to make sense of the situation. I slammed my right arm through the operating table. The table broke in half like corkboard. At least I have my strength, I thought. I looked menacingly at the doctor. His face revealed a real fear of what I might do.\n\nI took a step toward the doctor when a small current raced through my body disrupting my control. I tried to take another step and my body collapsed to the ground. I could see the doctor inching along the edge of the wall toward the door. I couldn’t move. I could do nothing to prevent his escape.\n\n“This is the Evil Genius Super Maximum Security Facility. We cater to allowing evil, such as yourself, to serve multiple life sentences. You are going to be here a very long time.” \n\nThe pulse of electricity subsided as the door closed. I stood and began feeling the walls for a weakness. I need to escape and find out what they did to me. I may have been a mad genius, but I wasn’t evil. Did they not notice I let the doctor live when I wanted to kill him? Okay, at the end, I may have tried, but I was trapped.\n\nThe walls were secure, but the roof felt weak enough that I could bust it. I jumped with my fists held above my head. The roof caved and started to buckle. I needed another solid hit before the guard on duty would electrocute me. I jumped again. As my hands impacted the roof, I felt the electric impulse. The roof collapsed on top of me, as I curled into a ball.\n\nI saw the freedom of the skies above me as the guards came and pulled me out of the rubble. They kept the current going for years. While my body was mostly inoperable during the first life sentence, I was able to think. I finally placed the voice. I was arrested for trying to free some uranium for a small power plant (like I said, mad genius, not evil), A cop pulled me around a corner. I thought I might be set free as sometimes happens. Instead, he laughed as he pulled out his gun and fired three rounds into my chest. My captors would never believe that they were using evil to guard evil."
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[WP] You're in a rush to get to an interview towards the top floor of a skyscraper. When you press the up button for the elevators in the lobby, the only one that opens has a sign reading "OUT OF ORDER". Due to your rush, you decide to get on the elevator...
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"They knew. They must have known!\n\n\"OUT OF ORDER\", something so simple... it doesn't let on to any passerby what *really* happens in that elevator. It just...\n\nKeeps them out. So the accident that must have been made once before never happens again.\n\nI stepped in, mashing the button, only caring for the simplest and most trivial of day-to-day worries.\n\nIt started with a weight, slow and slinking to start, but heavy and pounding very quickly. A kind of gravity that strengthens your whole body at once as you fight to keep on your knees, at least.\n\nBut it fades into nothing, replaced by total weightlessness. An ease settles, as you suddenly don't have to hold yourself up at all.\n\nThat ease, that calm.. you hold onto it, and it keeps your head clear, your first few minutes into the strange world you find yourself in. Maybe it was made that way, by whatever cryptic deities saw fit to include this bridge into the unknown.\n\nEither way, you'd better get moving.\n\nTime waits not for the men, the animals, or even the beasts.",
"The feeling you get at the top of the roller coaster. That's the feeling you have. Feet slightly above the floor. Floating like those astronauts hurtling around the globe. Gut heavy and still sinking.\n\nA gasp of breath is the only sound you can make. Panic preventing even a scream. The floor gets further away. You reach for it. You remember they said you should lie down for this. They didn't tell you how to lie down without gravity.\n\nYou wait for your life to flash before your eyes. It doesn't. No way to escape from the reality of the situation. In a few seconds your elevator is going to reach the bottom. You imagine the scene.\n\nA piercing shriek accompanies the return of gravity. The floor comes back. Fast. \n\nEverything is dark and hurts. You can hear voices but they are far away. Or maybe they're just quiet. Metal clangs and voices get louder. The darkness retreats. A shiny yellow and red simulacrum pulls you up and out.\n\n\"Cant' you read the sign?\"\n\n"
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[WP] Something destroyed every city in New Zealand at midnight their time. Every city in Australia went at 12:00 local time. And so on along time zones. It's midnight in your city soon.
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"March 31, 2017, 11:57 PM:\n\nTick, Tock, Tick, Tock.\nThe gathered group of our terrified family members huddled together waiting in fear for what would happen next. The room was silent, yet two things could be heard. The ticking of our 1983 pearl grandfather clock counting down what we believed would be the last three minutes of our lives, and a television broadcast explaining the current events. One by one, city after city, the time would strike 12 and they would go dark. No one knew what was the cause, but it seemed that across the globe, countries would simply disappear into thin air at midnight.\n\n11:59:50\n\nThe countdown had begun. The last 10 seconds of our lives. We all have our regrets, whether it's a racy text message we would've liked to sent to our lover, or a place we always wanted to visit. We clenched each other tightly. The room was silent.\n5, 4, 3, 2, 1...\nThe clock strikes twelve.\nThe eerie lull of the room is frightening, yet nothing has happened. Confused but still without making a noise, we begin to stand up and scan the room as if we were looking for signs of destruction. \nThen the first noise is made, a chuckle. Eyes dart around the room, searching for the origins of this sound. And then, as if in symphony, all the eyes lock onto the television, still exhibiting the broadcast.\n\nApril Fools!\n"
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[WP] You've always faded into the background of any photo you're in. Most of your college friends can't even remember who you are. You are... the Least Conspicuous Man In The World.
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"They needed me more than I needed them. God, I hate people. There are so many problems in the world and all these guys care about is the barista at the coffee shop didn't put enough sugar. They literally complain about the dumbest things.\n\n\"I want to talk to this cute girl but i'm so nervous\"\n\n\"Ugh, i'm too fat, no guys like me.\"\n\n\"I just have to bring myself, that's the most important thing.\"\n\nSeriously? There are people out there that can't put food on the table, kids can't afford to go to school, the ecosystem is falling apart, anyone that wants to \"protect the general public' literally makes it worse. Sometimes, I just can't wrap my head around it.\n___________________________________________________________________\n\nI'll be honest, being alone, no, lonely, just sucks. It's nice to have someone to call or someone to go see...even if it's only sometimes. You want to know something though? I can't do it anymore. Sometimes, these people I call my friends, upset me too much.\n\nThey join these activist groups at college trying to \"make the world a better place\" by holding signs and yelling. Real good that does. What I feel that makes it worse is they talk like they are all so important. \" I make a difference!!!\" they go. Seriously? \n\n___________________________________________________________________\n\n\nHere's my dilemma. It's not exactly socially acceptable to tell them to go fuck off. I try and call them out for being so high up on their high horse. So what do I do?\n\nWhat do I do?\n\nWhat can I possibly do to disappear? I don't even know.\n\nI went to go meet up with some of my friends. Ha, friends. What I'm doing isn't really making me a saint. I'm just using them so I don't have to deal with my own problems.\n\nI meet up with them at a restaurant, order and just chat. One of the girls was talking about how she was with a guy for a few months and he just ghosted her for a couple of weeks now. Not for nothing, she isn't exactly the easiest person to be around.\n\nSomething did catch my attention from here vent. Ghosting. The problem with that is we don't really meet up too often considering they all keep pretty busy themselves.\n\nHold on. \n\nI've been setting myself up since freshman year. I've never bothered with with any of the activist groups or clubs. All the donations they get, they keep the chunk for their own business. Kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I rarely contribute to conversations, mostly cause I usually never have anything to say. Now that I think about it...I never really mention my hobbies or interests to any of them.\n\nWait. What about all the pictures that were taken throughout the years? Nevermind, that's not a problem. I hate being photographed. I despise it. \n\nMy father would always have a camera in his hand trying to capture every moment. He says, \"I'm doing it so we can remember all the places we've been.\" Funny he would mention that, I don't remember any moment. I do however, remember all the yelling that would take place before a picture is taken because I would always have a sad look from crying.\n\nI was always behind the camera.\n\n___________________________________________________________________\n\n\nI finished with my meal and excused myself to go to the bathroom. After I rinse my mouth and dry off, I go to the waiter and ask for my bill. I pay for my meal and leave.\n\nYeah, i figure they'll notice I'm gone. But only for tonight. After all these years, I made my relationship with them fairly bland now that think about it.\n\nThat loneliness will always follow me...I guess that's part of what makes me who I am. Don't worry, I'll still share a few smile and help people along the way. "
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[WP] The world is filled with dragons and monsters. You are one of the heroes that protect humanity. Most adventurers use sword, bows and magic. A few of them have sacred weapons, weapons of the gods. But you, have something a lot more powerful. An anti material rifle.
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"Samuel the barkeep was a simple man with a simple job. He had been running his rustic, dimly lit hole-in-the-wall for decades after his father and his father's father. While the liquor Samuel sold was often low-quality and didn't garner much profit, he could always rely on the monthly stipends the Global Hero Association offered up to keep new recruits coming in and questing from the rural Green District. Rebellious farm-boys with their father's stolen hatchet were in no short supply in Samuels hometown. Besides, the monsters often taught the kids a good lesson or two after the odd skirmish. \n\n\nThat being said, however, Samuel saw several higher-ranking bounties flowing in from the GHA on top of the countless F-rank monster postings. They were always taken up and slain quickly for the hefty rewards, and the latest one was no exception. The bar was empty since he opened, Samuel scrubbing glasses behind the counter, relaxing in the flickering fluorescent lights, overpowered by a blue LED screen attached to a standard issue GHA questing booth in the far corner. Before he could move on to scrubbing the wooden chairs and cleaning gum off the bottom of the pool table, he was interrupted by the door slamming open, accompanied by blinding sunlight and heavy footsteps.\n\n\n\"By the gods, you've done it already?\" asked the barkeep as he set his towel and glass to the counter, a look of surprise and awe plastered to his face.\n\n\n\"I suppose so. It didn't take more than one spent cartridge.\" Samuel looked at the hero. He was frequenter of the bar, less for the cheap beer and more for the glowing machine that earned Samuel the better part of his living.\n\n\n\"Your armor seems to disagree...\"Samuel said, eyeing the bits of ash the fell off the hero's tattered, burnt-beyond-recognition garb. He would have to mop again, much to his dismay. \"But you look like you're lacking even a scratch. What kind of dragon was that, Mort?\"\n\n\nAs the hero made it to the counter and sat on a stool, he pulled the rags from his head, revealing his ragged, short brown hair and a surprisingly youthful face. \"It migrated to the foothills nearby from the Red District. They're smarter over there...\" Mort paused, looking slightly shaken as he brushed a hand past his amber eyes and rubbed some bits of ash from his stubble, \"I had to trick it, I only put these back on to be decent.\"\n\n\n\"Trick it? I get smarter, but dragon's are mindless.\" Samuel pushed, apparently lost by the concept. \n\n\nMort met Samuel's eyes before looking to the counter before responding, \"I thought so too...\" he trailed off, thinking back to the confrontation. \n\n\nThe den that the dragon was dwelling in was familiar to Mort, he remembered thinking as he scaled the steep hill leading towards the mouth of the cave. He had slain another dragon there before, an injured one. It was his original breakthrough, when he earned enough to investigate an untouched UFO crash site just off the coastal reef. It would be hard to forget the coming of his rise from an F-rank kid to an A-ranked hero. \n\n\nNearing the top, Mort pulled out the paper that the GHA booth printed for him, listing known information on the sub-species of dragon he was about to encounter. Most of it was insignificant, he had noted as he steadily made his way over boulder and dirt, but there was one thing in the tips section that had caught his eye. \n\n\n\"The Red Wyrms are very rare and equally intelligent. Brute force is a regrettable tactic during confrontation. Attempt to establish a plan to outsmart the dragon. Do not listen to it.\"\n\n\nThat last part in particular was off-putting to the seasoned hero, as he didn't quite understand what he shouldn't be listening to. Perhaps it was similar to a Siren, in that it's song has a drowsy effect to the listener. Just to be sure, as he made his way to the entrance of the den, he pulled two balls of wax from his pocket and plugged his ears. Afterwards, he flicked on a shoulder mounted flashlight and pulled his rifle from his back, feeling the cool metal surface slide over his hands as he found the grip. The anti-matter rifle never once felt old to wield, and the unfamiliar components were still awe-inspiring in Mort's eyes. Putting on a slight smirk, he forged onwards in to the cave. \n\nTBC?\n\n\n(Would write more but I'm at work. I need to actually do things now. Pardon if it's underwhelming/messy, it's the first thing I've written outside of song lyrics for quite some time, and I haven't posted on a WP before despite having been subscribed for ages.)"
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[WP] You arrive at Grandma's funeral to find thousands of people from around the world also in mourning. You are entirely unaware that Grandma had 16.4m followers on Twitter.
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"I woke from a small bed to the menacing vibrations and sounds from my iPhone. I peered through my eyelids fighting the depolarized muscles fighting to keep my lids shut at my phone as I made a clumsy effort to hit the snooze button. I spun my head around to gather my surroundings, but the alcohol the night prior made me pay for that mistake, but I my nose was met with a familiar aroma.\n\nA voice from the kitchen, \"I made you some corned beef hash.\"\n\nI immediately went into recall mode. Where the fuck am I? The anterograde amnesia of the tequila and cocaine of the prior evening took full effect, I had no idea whose voice that belonged to. I looked down to find my suit from yesterday's activities completely wrinkled and not fitting for a 3pm walk of shame in the soon to be inbound uber.\n\nWallet, keys, phone... check! YES! I thought to myself... now if I could find out her name, not be a dick, and leave... I'd be set.\n\nThen the sudden feeling of guilt and sadness overwhelmed me. I remembered.\n\nThe only reason she slept with me is because I'm the grandson of Anne \"@clearheels\" Williams. \n\nWe met after her funeral.\n\nThe night was hazy, but it was beginning to come together.\n\nGrandma's favorite restaurant was the steak buffet at Legends, the local gentlemen's club where she retired from. I went there after the service to sample the menu. My favorite meal was the corned beef hash! Boom! I just fucked a stripper. Again. \n\nThanks Grandma.",
"I threw on a dark suit, a somber tie (or at least the closest to somber I owned; like most college students, I'm not known for my extensive wardrobe). My dad was coming to pick me up soon. I paced the dorm entry way waiting for the familiar blue minivan. \n\n\"So, you don't want me to come with?\" my brown-eyed girlfriend asked, as she, conveniently wearing black, sat perched on a side table. \n\n\"Nah, you've lost grandparents right? It's going to be boring.\" I said as I thought, *I'd rather not introduce you to my family yet, we've only been together for a month.*\n\n\"Yeah,\" she said, looking up at me in a way she knows I like. \"I just thought it'd be nice for you to have someone there for you.\"\n\n\"I'll have my mom,\" I pointed out. *Besides, I was still in 'woo the girl' mode, she didn't need to see me cry yet.*\n\n\"Alright,\" she sighed. \"You'll call me when you get back at least?\"\n\n\"Of course,\" I promised. \"It probably won't even take that long.\" *Grandma had outlived most of her friends, after all.*\n\nMy dad arrived, my mom and younger brother in the car too. It was an awkward two hour car ride, where I tried to fit in how well I was doing independently and my younger brother was talking about how much better his life was with me gone, and my parents looked like they were trying convince themselves that they didn't need to referee. My mom looked like she was trying to find space to say something.\n\nMy dad pulled into a parking garage. It was oddly full for one downtown on a Saturday.\n\n\"Is there some event going on?\" I asked. \n\n\"Yes, your grandmother's funeral,\" my Mom replied.\n\n\"Well, obviously, but is there something else going on?\" I caught a glimpse of people walking out of the garage wearing proper funeral attire. \n\n\"My Mom had Twitter,\" Dad said, speaking more than he had for the duration of the car ride. \"Some of her fans wanted to come.\"\n\n\"Some of her fans,\" I repeated, eyeing the crowds of mourners headed for the church. \n\n\"16.4 million people followed her on Twitter.\" \n\nWell, that put a damper on my plans. ",
"ever since I left Mexico, I always remembered how life in the countryside seemed to stay stuck in the past, specially in my childhood. it seemed like the steam engine never arrived to the rugged mountains of rural Mexico.\n\nthis has changed a little however, a sporadic wave of government genuinely trying to improve the country's situation brought things like the internet to many corners. \n\nlast time I went visit my family, people, specially Young ones where already using the nets almost like in any place of say, the UK. MY grandma however, she refused to learn to use old Nokias cause they were 'too confusing', when I saw the laptop in her kitchen table I never thought it would be hers.\n\nshe starting postig pics of simple food, beautiful sunsets, picturesque views of the town's church. the simple and tranquil life of an elderly woman with absolutely all her needs met, little wants, a home of her own, a talent in cooking and a nice family and some friends that kept her busy. an idyllic life in a town of rural Mexico that seemed to stay in the past until the future ends.\n\nfor some reason this captivated millions, millions of people who saw that the simple things in life are not so simple at all. MY grandma used to say that and I always thought it true.\n\nI spoke to the German Young man, he told me that her Mrs Mary thought him the benefits of peace and a little Weed in life. he said she was the last great guru, a tilstoyian version forr the 21 century. 'slow down and observe my friend' he said. definitely sounded like my grandma.\n\n",
"I fidget in my seat and tug at the hemline of my skirt, trying to bring it past my knees. Grandma was very traditional and although she never said it, she had never approved of my dress sense. Today I look nothing like myself. My usual pastel colours have muted to black and grey in mourning. My mother sits beside me in the black cab, stuck in typical London traffic. She fiddles with the orders of service crammed into her purse and rocks my sleeping baby brother on her shoulder. Two dozen of them, enough spares for any members of the congregation who had seen the obituary in the Church newsletter. Before her passing, Grandma had picked out some of her favourite hymns to be sung at the service. A few of them were in Latin, and I suggested to my parents that we ought to take them out because it would only be the family in attendance, and none of us knew the words. But mother had insisted, 'Grandma liked things a particular way, Rosemary, we ought to respect that.'\n\n\nWe had never been particularly close, Grandma and I, mostly because she hated to travel anywhere she couldn't walk to and was too deaf to properly hold a conversation on her rotary dial landline phone. Things had gotten somewhat better when we had given her my old computer, but even when we skyped her, she'd pick up one of the computer speakers and shout into it the whole time. She had been delighted to receive it, though. It was the one modern convenience that she actually embraced. She said that the keyboard reminded her of her days as a secretary, typing on an expensive typewriter. She would type and print her grocery lists every day, and every last Sundays of the month, when we brought her down to Brighton for Roast Lunch, she would bring a different dish and delight to us about how *'Mr Ask Jeeves* had been ever so helpful, finding her new recipes, helping her to figure out how to work her DVD player, and generally keeping her in high spirits. A few times I had tried to explain to her that there was more to the internet than a search engine, but it was lost upon her. She was happy enough with just her friendly gentleman, Jeeves. At some point, she must have cracked Amazon, because she would let us know of deliveries from Mr Jeeves. It shocked us to hear that she had embraced online shopping, given her aversion to online banking; she was afraid that a 'computer flu' would wipe out her savings accounts.\n\n\"Just around this corner, ma'am?\" The cabbie asks.\n\n\"Yes, thank you. It's a little Church, tucked away. Easy to miss.\"\n\n\n\"You might be better off walking, ma'am. There seems to be a lot of foot traffic, I don't think I'll get all the way down the road.\" He suggests.\n\n\n\"Oh goodness, is there a protest or something going on today, Rosie?\" Mother asks. Not that I know of.\n\n\"Mum, they're all wearing black, have the Church double booked another funeral?\" I ask. It isn't a big Church at all, and most members were elderly. Was it possible that they had misprinted the funeral details and invited mourners of another person to Grandma's funeral?\n\n\n\"Go on ahead and see what's going on at the Church, please, while I settle your brother.\" The noise of the crowd is bothering him. What are so many people doing in this sleepy corner of North London?\n\n\nI get out of the car and a girl with purple hair wearing a long black dress bumps into me and I drop my purse, the contents spilling out. \"Sorry, so sorry!\" She apologises in a thick German accent.\n\n\n\"That's okay,\" I tell her, as she helps me to gather my phone and wallet from between the feet of the passing crowd. \"What's this gathering?\" I ask.\n\n\n\"Oh, we are here for Granny Merideth's funeral service.\" She tells me. I'm shocked. She looks no older than me and clearly isn't from around here.\n\n\n\"*My* Grandma Merideth?\" I ask, in shock.\n\n\n\"Oh! Are you little Rosie-Posie?\" She beams at me.\n\n\n\"How did you... how do you know my Grandma?\" I demand, a bit stunned. Is this some sort of practical joke?\n\n\n\"She's the Twitter Granny! She chats to us all the time on Twitter. Hey, everybody! It's Granny's Rosie-Posie!\" She shrieks, jumping up and down while pointing me out to the crowd. People all around us stop and stare, murmurs of excitement rising from the crowd.\n\n\n\"What are you all talking about?\" I ask, confused.\n\n\n\"I think it must have started about two years ago,\" someone piped up. \"Granny started tweeting asking someone named Jeeves for help operating the microwave, so someone tweeted her back with instructions and she kept coming back to twitter with questions and sometimes just for a chat. She's so sweet and so adorable. We were heartbroken when she tweeted, asking 'Jeeves' how to print out lyrics to hymns to pass on to her daughter as suggestions for her funeral. She let us know in her last few days that she was nearing the end of her life and invited 'Mr Jeeves' to come and pay his last respects, so we all came. The service is being live streamed to her over sixteen million followers.\"\n\n\nSomeone shoved an iPad under my nose, and there it was, my old twitter account, with 16.4 million followers, over twenty thousand tweets, and a long stream of my Grandmother's conversations with 'Jeeves' about all sorts of things.\n\n\n'Mr Jeeves, what sort of seeds do you suggest I purchase for the lovely birds who sing so sweetly outside my window?'\n\n\n'Mr Jeeves, it has been snowing quite heavily in England, I heard on the Radio. Are you alright?'\n\n\n'Mr Jeeves, I thought you might know, what time does the new grocery store on Griffith Avenue in Galway close this evening?'\n\n\n'Mr Jeeves, I'm in my later years, I feel like I wasted so much time. I wish I had a legacy to leave behind for my grandchildren.'\n\n\nIt seemed that Grandma had left her legacy to millions after all. Sweet, lovely Granny Merideth.",
"I dreaded this day. We knew Grandma Mary had been going downhill for the last few years. Mom and dad didn't talk about it much, but we knew. The visits slowed after they put her in the home. A couple of my cousins and I would take turns visiting after school and taking her out to do her grocery shopping and run errands, so we noticed when she had her good days and her bad days. The bad started outweighing the good, and eventually, we knew we would get the call. \n\nThat call came three days ago. \n\nNow, I'm sitting in the limo with my brothers, mom, dad, and for some reason, Aunt Jenn. Dad's sister and their families are in the car behind us. No one is saying anything, which is weird. Mom always is on her phone with her assistant and the office. Dad is usually discussing some new development from the university he and my brother Steve have been working on. And Mikey is usually listening to his music. Today... silence. But not really. For the day being relatively cold and overcast, there's lots of people outside. And the number of people seem to be growing the closer we get to grandma's church. She was adamant about having her service at the church she and grandpa married in, saying she started her life there and she would damn well make sure she ended it there. So now here we are. On our way to that stuffy chapel that always smelled slightly of mothballs, dead flowers, and wood polish. Steve's asthma will be acting up by the time we hit the eulogy. \n\nNow I'm really starting to get concerned. There's more people than I knew were in my town heading towards the church. Mom and dad have even noticed. \n\n\"These people can't all be going to the funeral. There's got to be some sort of fair or event in town today we missed.\" Mom is quick to dismiss the ever growing crowd. \n\nWe pull up to the church and the cars slow. There's no mistaking it now. These strangers are definitely here for my grangran. Suddenly, there's a camera crew racing up to our car, and the local news team is waiting for us to open the doors and step out. What the hell is going on here?!\n\nTaking a breath, my dad opens the door and pandemonium rains down upon us all as hundreds of people start applauding and chanting my and my cousins names. Steve and Mike look at me, and I look back at them with equal confusion. \n\n\"We love Mary!\" Someone randomly yells. \"Do you have her blueberry cobbler recipe?\" we hear further back. I'm lost. \n\nAs we step out, the camera crew moves in and there's a microphone in my dad's face. \n\n\"Mr. McEwan, how are you feeling today with the crowds here for your mother? Were you aware of her popularity?\" My dad just stumbles. \"Her popularity? What are you people talking about?\" \"Surely you were aware of your mother's online presence? She's made millions through her social media presence.\" \n\n\"Social media? Oh my god, was my mother on the Facechat thing?\" My dad looks horrified. Mom looks furious. She's already pulled herself away and is on the phone now with the office. The first and only normal thing I've seen her do today. I can hear her trying to figure out where this could be a security breach or PR something and demanding HR get on this. The usual...\n\nMikey pulls out his phone and I see him search Mary McEwan. Instantly HUNDREDS of articles pop up... mostly YouTube but also Twitter (which provided links to the other accounts) and Instagram (user name \"InstaGramGram1938\"). \n\n\"Uhhh dad, guys... you may want to see this.\" Mikey looks like any 17 year old boy would when finding out his Gran had a better grasp on tech than he did. It turns out, Gran had started a YouTube cooking show from her iPad about cooking healthy and extravagant meals while on a fixed income! It was brilliant! She had millions of followers, all ranging from high school graduates and college kids, to single parents and other pensioners. My brothers and I were flabbergasted. Especially since my brothers and I had all pitched in to get her the iPad for Christmas two years ago so she could play her card games and FaceTime us when we couldn't visit in person. \n\n\"My mom... was famous?!\" My dad says, having torn himself away from the tv crew. My brothers look up to find we've somehow been ushered into the back of the church while we were immersed in our discovery. I'm so shocked I don't even remember moving. \n\nSteve piped up, \"Wait, if she has THIS many followers who've watched these videos, Gran would have been making some money from some of these.\" We kind of smiled because it's a social media platform... how much money could that have been, right? As we wait for the service to start in the back room, my family watch some of Gran's videos. For the first time in awhile, my family laughed, cried, and reminisced together as Gran was on the screen, talking about her family as she made appetizers, desserts, and her famous meatloaf. She also had videos and photos of all her grandkids, and stories of their visits and accomplishments. She talked of the time we went for ice cream and fed the ducks down by pond, and how we talked about me going to college... all while she was teaching other college students how to darn holes in socks on video. She said she got the idea for the show that day, when she and I talked about budgeting and being independent. I was amazed. On this day, a day I was heart broken over and my family was detached, gran brought us back together one more time. \n\nAs we were there smiling together and discovering our gran's secret, the priest came in to tell us it was time, and that we had a full house... plus hundreds more outside that they had to set up a sound system for. As a family, we stood up, stowed the show for the moment, and followed the priest out of the room and through the church, to go visit GranGran one last time. ",
"I was sitting in the front row of the church, watching the funeral procession as people paid their final respects. Most of the people here were academics, from top universities where she taught, her field of expertise was quantum physics. \n\nOne of the people, a woman I had never seen before broke out of line though and sat down beside me. She said that she had only come to know my nana very recently, but she had made a significant impact in her life.\n\nI thanked her and though that would be the end of it, but instead she reached into her pocket and pulled out what looked like a very expensive Bluetooth device. She placed it in my hand and then said that my grandma would have wanted me to use it. \n\nShe saw the bewildered expression on my face and explained that my nana was a pioneer in many areas, one that wasn't announced was time travel. She apparently deduced that all matter, occupied the same physical space, but the dimension of time prevented us from seeing anything but where we were on the timeline. With that theory, she set about creating a tuner of sorts, that allowed the user to observe and interact across time. \n\nShe feared what would happen if the technology got out, so she kept it to herself. One day she read about a tragic suicide that cost the lives of two small children. She was heartbroken until she realized she could.do something about it. \n\nShe put on the tuner and went back to try and prevent the incident, but the mother was scared off by the whole story and nothing changed. After many attempts, see decided to go back further. Still wary of direct interaction, she took to Twitter and sought the mother out. There she befriended her and helped to stear her clear of the trouble that would torment her to the end. \n\nRealizing the good she could do, nana began to seek out other people in need and using her knowledge, helped them to avoid the pitfalls to come. Building up a following of over 16 million people she had saved. \n\nI was amazed and asked her how she knew all this. That is when I was floored, she was my grand daughter and was there to help me through my pain. She placed the device on my ear and then adjusted it, all the sudden I was in what had to be the future version of the church, it was completely packed. We jumped forward several times and in every case, the church or what passed for the church was full of mourners. \n\nMy grand daughter explained that on the anniversary on my nana' s death, all the people she saved gather at the church to pay their respects, a tradition that was carried on by their prodigy.\n\n",
"\"It's him.\" That's what I heard someone say as I pushed myself through the crowd. Was I getting paranoid? I was almost sure of what I heard. Did these people know me?\nI had a weird feeling ever since I had to get out of my car hundreds of meters away from the cemetery. The street was packed with people and here and there was a car. All randomly parked in the middle of the street. Seems like I wasn't the only one who gave up and had to abandon the vehicle.\n'What are they all doing here anyways?' This question shot through my head for the second or third time. Was there another demonstration going on? I don't really follow these anymore. Haven't been in one for a lot of years. This doesn't explain why they are all dressed in black. And why so close to the cemetery? Was there an Asian group dressed in white?\nConfused, I decided to ignore it and went to the gates.\nIt seems there were more and more people the closer I got. \n\"Figures.\"I thought. \"It wasn't a good day to begin with. Why should it get any better?\"\n\nI guess, someone famous died and these people are just a few hours early. Probably an actor or actress from Hollywood, which was not too far from here. Maybe a director. Funny, I haven't heard anything on the news. Not that I really watch news everyday. \nI saw a lot of emotional faces. Mostly sad people. Some of them hugging, some crying. I even saw a few that seemed to be angry. \n\"Da ist er! Schaut Leute, es ist Dan!\" The man who said it pointed a finger at me. What did he say? It did sound aggressive.\nOther people turned and looked at first him and then me. \"It's him!\" Another man shouted in heavy Russian accent. Also pointing at me. He took a step towards me and seemed to be very upset. \"Иван! Cмотри, Это Дэн! \"\n\nTo be continued...\n",
"I left the printmakers and made my way down the street which was dark and oily looking in the evening's drizzle. I was bone tired, my elbow hurt from printing and I hated the insipid mess I had made that day. The green looked like the walls of a hospital corridor. I had torn the worst one up in a rage and the rest would have been in tatters too if Will hadn't grabbed me and held my arms at my sides. \n\n\"Keep them around,\" he had said, jovially, as I had contemplated spitting in his face. \"If you want to be an artist you have to learn from your mistakes. And look, this one is fucking good!\" I didn't think it was good. Will's opinion didn't change that. But he thought he was helping. He was the other kind of artist, the one who could start liking their work if someone better did. \n\nI walked down the steps into the train station, still wishing I had torn them all up. It would have felt cleansing. Will thought he knew what I needed better than I did. Was that because he was ten years older or because I was a woman? I would use crimson tomorrow I decided, rounding the corner onto the deserted platform. \n\nI slumped down in one of the plastic chairs and felt my phone vibrate in my coat pocket. It was my mother. \n\n\"Hello?\"\n.\n\"Hi darling.\"\n.\n\"Are you alright?\"\n.\n\"Yes, of course I am.\"\n.\n\"What, you just called for a chat? It's late.\"\n.\nShe sighed. \"Could you come over tomorrow?\" \n.\n\"You sound really strange...\"\n.\n\"There's nothing wrong with me. Please don't worry. I just want to show you something.\" \n.\n\"And you call me at 1 AM to tell me that?\"\n.\n\"Well I wasn't planning to. Show it to you, I mean. But I was lying here in bed, trying to sleep and I had the idea that you might want to see it.\"\n. \nThere was a pause. \n.\n\"Just come over tomorrow morning. Take a day off. That's what you should be doing at anyway, at least once a week. You're burnt out.\" \n\n* * * \n\nIt was a newspaper article in The Chronicle. About Pat Holitz, who had died of a brain aneurysm earlier in the week. I stared at my mother, confused. \n\n\"This is what made you call me in the middle of the night?\"\n.\n\"Yes.\"\n.\n\"Thanks... Her style of art isn't really my thing though.\" \n.\n\"I never liked it either. Though I suppose I may have been biased.\"\n.\nShe lit a cigarette. \n.\n\"Can I have one? When did you start again?\" \n.\n\"Pat Holitz's son, Oscar, was your father. He's dead too, he went twelve years ago. Overdose. I didn't tell you that at the time because it didn't seem like something you needed to know. But Pat's different. I think you do need to know about her.\" \n.\nI didn't know what to say. I didn't really feel anything. I stared at the portrait in the article, a wiry woman with thick grey hair and beetle black eyes. She stared coldly into the camera lens. \"*Sour*...\" I thought. \"*She looks sour*...\"\n.\n\"The funeral is tomorrow. And there's a bonfire... They're burning all her work afterwards. Everything she hadn't sold yet. Everything she had kept. Her request, according to this.\" She tapped the newspaper. \"She even tweeted about it. Everyone thought it was a joke but it was there in her will. Apparently the art world is furious. Trying to stop it from happening.\"\n.\n\"Fuck...\" I said, faintly. \n.\n\"Would you like to go?\" \n",
"The morning started out very rough, all the hotels within an hour of our hometown had been completely booked so all the family had to stay at our house the night before the funeral.\n\nI got up early to get ready and then went outside to sent on the porch and wait for my mom to say it was time to go. I had avoided social media for the last werk since my granny died because I didn't want to talk with anyone and had no idea what to say. I decided to bring up Twitter, hoping to see that my favorite person to talk to, @tellthebartender, was online. I was about to send a message when I saw the I had received one from the same person. I was about to read it when my mom told me.it was time to leave.\n\nWe began the procession to the church for the service. The traffic was uncharacterisitically thick, but the police escort ensured we got there. We arrived to find the parking lot completely full and people parking all along the street. We had to go in through the back door since the front was jammed with people.\n\nThe priest met us and apologized, indicating that we had mentioned a small gathering. He mentioned that he had no idea granny was so important to so many, but the sight was a blessing. We were sitting in the front pews waiting, when three ladies, all around the same age as my granny came up and introduced themselves. They lived at the nursing home with her and had been friends for many years.\n\nI asked if they knew why all these people were here and they said they did, their explanation brought me to tears. \n\nSeveral years ago I apparently told.my granny that she just didn't understand today's problems, when she asked me if I needed to talk after my parents divorced. Rather than be saddened by this though, she decided to find a different way to help and made herself a Twitter account where she offered advice. Her three friends noticed her doing it one day and after she explained it, they joined in and ran the account together for several years, building up millions of followers and endeavoured to help everyone they could.\n\nI was confused for several moments, and then pulled out my phone bringing up the message I had missed. It read, Abigail Johnson, one of the four women who run this account has died and we will be taking a break for a few days to mourn the loss of our friend. We ask for your prayers and thoughts. I couldn't believe it, my grandmother, someone's whose advice I completely discounted, helped me though some of the most difficult challenges I had faced in life and never once let on. \n\nI moved closer to the casket and listened, everyone who passed by thanked her for the advice and encouragement she had offered during their times of need. ",
"I knew Grandma was a gamer. I can still remember 20 years ago, when I first booted up my Playstation at her house. Both her and my eyes lit up with wonder, without really knowing what we were getting into. So many adventures were awaiting us. Rooting out mandragoras in Harry Potter, kicking butt in Chinatown with Jackie Chan, properly timing jumps and turbo-boosts in Crash Team Racing...\n\nTime passed. I grew older, I \"grew up\". So did she, but in a different way. I couldn't wait to be a big guy. I wanted to be an adult, I wanted to be more mature, without even knowing what the hell that meant. She knew better. While I was looking to lose my innocence and sense of wonder at the world, she was nurturing hers, enjoying every step of the way.\n\nAs time passed we grew apart, I had more important things to do than play video games with her. Eventually I went to study abroad, far away, coming back not so often to visit for a day or two. After Grandpa died, I just didn't feel like returning. \"She'll be ok\", I thought. \"She probably has enough people in her life to take care of her already.\" \n\nI called her a couple of times a year to catch up with her, but it was always concise and brief. I just didn't have time, always having something to do, whether for my studies or for work. Just enough time for the basics. She had mentioned her \"gaming friends\" a couple of times, but I never thought much of it. \"Probably another group of old people with too much free time on their hands\", I thought.\n\nBut here they were. Thousands and thousands of people. When I started asking around how they knew her, every single one had an almost identical answer: \"She taught me how to live a worthwhile life while playing video games.\" Her charm and simplicity had won her over thousands and thousands of followers, thirsting for her positivity on life. \n\nI didn't know.\n\nAfter the funeral I went to my hotel room and looked her name up on the internet. The number of people who watched her streams was mind-boggling, even more those who asked her questions through Twitter. On how to deal with loneliness, how to beat a boss in a game...\n\nI started from her first stream, now a couple of years old. She often mentioned her only grandson, how lonely she felt now that he was away and couldn't spend time with her anymore, how her only son also went away after a nasty divorce. Gaming brought up fond memories of the time she spent with me, when Grandpa was also around, watching over us with a silly grin on his face. \"But they aren't here anymore, so I have to learn to live on. That's life. Learn to cherrish every single moment, no matter how insignificant it may seem, for they are over sooner than you'd hope.\"\n\nI started crying, my guilt uncontrollably taking over me. Autoplay started the next stream. And I just kept crying.",
"Life ends for one, but for us, it still pushes on. For my dear Grandma, peace had come at last. \n\nIt was March 30th, 2017, the day of Grandma Zora’s visitation. My family was dreading the day—showing up to a funeral home, seeing the deceased lie there as everyone tells you they are sorry for what happened. Words of sincerity, yet they would not overcome the sadness parading in our heads. \n\n11 am, and the doors of the funeral home open. We expected our friends and saw a few faces we recognized. They came over to us, offering hugs and condolences. Then there was the rest. First, it was tens, then hundreds and by the end of the day, thousands. \nThey all came in and headed straight for the open casket.\n\nIn the beginning, my mother was horrified. She felt like we were being targeted for some sick prank and ran to the washroom to clean up the running mascara on her cheeks. \n\n“Excuse me,” I asked one of the guests. He looked to be in his forties and wore a black suit with a dark blue tie. Anxiously pushing up his glasses and pushing back his long brown hair, he waited around the crowd that amassed at the casket.\n\n“It's sad isn't it?” he said. “Oh, sorry, you were going to say something.”\n\n“I don't mean to be rude. I don't know how else to ask it right now… but why are you here? Who are you?”\n\n“Paul Benner,” he said, extending out his hand and I shook it. “I'm here to see the old lady, of course. @WesleyDoes.” \n\n“@WelseyDoes?”\n\n“Yeah, her Twitter,” he said, and jumped into an opening through the crowd. \n\nI turned to a young lady beside me in a simple black dress. Her black hair extended down the back as if it were part of the fabric. She seemed more patient than Paul. \n\n“Excuse me, are you… ugh… here to see my grandma?” I asked. \n\n“Mhmm,” she hums. “All of us are. Wait, *Your* Grandma?”\n\n“Are you Welsey?!” she said with a growing smile. \n\n“Welsey? Who's Welsey?” I asked. \n\nFrom the crowd someone says, “there's no Welsey in the family, she tweeted that ages ago.”\n\n“What is happening?” I asked \n\n“We're here to see your Grandma,” the woman said. “She would tweet about how wonderful her grandson was. It was the most endearing thing.” \n\n“What?”\n\n“Here,” she said, taking out her phone. “Look for yourself.” \n\nShe handed me her phone with the Twitter page open. 4235 tweets, following 15.2 million, 16.4 million followers. I was amazed. So many tweets. \n\n“Welsey mowed my lawn. The dear boy never keeps it above an inch. #grandsonloveandappreciation”. \n\n“Welsey surprised me with flowers! 7 years ago I lost my husband and every year since he comes by. #love”\n\n“Remind the people you love, you love them! Welsey always seems to forget that. #stilllovehimalways.”\n\nMy vision had begun to blur. I had no idea she was doing this. This entire time I was just making sure she was okay. I knew I wouldn't stay composed, but I did it anyways; I read her last tweets. \n\n“[1/7] Seems like Time has come to my doorstep at last. Told me the last bits of sand were almost out. I said”\n\n“[2/7] it's okay Time, I've had a wonderful time here. For those who wish to come. My visitation will be”\n\n“[3/7] March 30th, at Grim Family Funeral Home in Briton, Kentucky at 11 am. Hope to see you there. I'll be smiling.”\n\n“[4/7] My family does not know about this and are private most of the time. If they ask, then answer, but this was about\"\n\n“[5/7] sharing love and appreciation. For the grandson that made the last of his grandma's days gorgeous, thank you. And for my family”\n\n“[6/7] I will miss you. Love keeps us together always and I'll always be here with you. To my followers, thank you for your”\n\n“[7/7] support and loving Welsey as much as I. #love #goodbye #youmadeanoldgrandmasmileeveryday”\n\nMy grandma. My dear amazing Grandma. I will miss you. \n\n---\n\n/r/ItsPronouncedGif\n\nThank you for reading. <3",
"This is a true story. I have never written anything for this sub as I'm not a writer, but saw the prompt on my front page, and started crying. I hope it's okay if I share this with you.\n\nMy mom turned 71 years old last November. The day before she was working out at the gym as she did five days a week. You wouldn't have known she was in her seventies; she had few wrinkles, and still worked full-time for the local school system as an administrative assistant. She was standing up after cycling 8 miles on the gym bike when she had a seizure. A fitness instructor called 911. The hospital called me, and I rushed to the emergency room.\n\nMy mom was already hooked up to monitors and an oxygen mask when I arrived. She was not awake. The ER doctor told me that she appeared to be in a coma and was exhibiting neurological symptoms. They wheeled her into the MRI bay and ran a scan of her brain. Cloudy disperse formations showed covering a third of her frontal lobes. A small mass shone bright under contrast in a portion of her inner brain. The neurologist explained that they needed to remove a sample of brain tissue to test for cancer.\n\nMy mom never woke up. She was diagnosed with glioblastoma stage IV, along with an unusual form of brain cancer that creeps between tissue, locking down brain and body function like a slow-moving night janitor. She was released to hospice care, and I spent the next three months sitting next to her silent body, 24 hours a day, reading her stories and bits from the news. Sometimes I sang to her, her favorite country songs though I can't carry a tune. She passed in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, and I didn't notice until I woke from a fitful sleep to find her cold and still.\n\nThe day after her obituary posted online, I started receiving calls and messages from literally hundreds of strangers. They wanted to know if they could attend the funeral mass, or if they could send flowers and make a donation in her name to foundations supporting brain cancer research. Who were these people? My mom had a few friends, but mostly hung out with me when she was outside of work. \n\nIt ends up that my mom had a secret. She had a Twitter account, and had over 50,000 followers. She didn't post funny things or salacious things or political things - the stuff that usually goes viral. She just posted coffee talks each morning, and tens of thousands of men and women around the entire world joined her in wishing others a great day. She liked to post motivational pictures with sunsets and uplifting words. She liked photos of deer in the woods, kittens, the great expanse of desert that rolls beyond our city, the stars of the night sky. \n\nShe never told me about her Twitter. I found out from these strangers who came to depend on her smile and spirit. I guess what I learned is that it doesn't take much to make someone else's life better.\n\nThanks for listening. I miss my mom so much right now.",
"I, like many of those in the front two rows of Gramma's funeral, as opposed to those in the back thirty-fucking-two rows of the concert-like event, hid my confusion poorly. \n\nGramma, I thought, was an old woman who was passing time until death took her. The location of the event, an upscale building in an upscale neighborhood, and the security with guest lists told me different. \n\nI knew I hid my confusion poorly because my brother came up to me and said one word: \"nudes.\" \n\n\"You what now?\" I replied. I knew the question I had and he knew I had it. What exactly did Gramma post on Twitter to get the millions of followers they claim she has? \n\n\"She took tasteful nudes, white shirt no bra-\" \n\n\"Oh Jesus-\" \n\n\"At first, anyway. Then it became topless and eventually bottomless for some reason. Her legs are-\" \n\n\"Christ, alright!\" I yelled. \"Enough.\" \n\n\"Finally downright nudity. She had a million complaints, but rumor has it she was fucking the Twitter CEO for more freedom-\" \n\n\"Fuck, Gramma.\" I whispered. It appeared my brother was done speaking, finally. \n\nThey called me up for my eulogy. \n\n\"It appears that Gramma was a slut.\" I said it into the mic. The crowd was silent, except a laugh from my brother. The host, yes she had a damn host at her funeral, took the mic back and looked at me questioningly. \n\n\"She posted nudes.\" I said. \n\n\"What?\" She asked. \n\n\"On Twitter.\" I hissed. \n\n\"She posted bible quotes!\" \n\nThe whole hall was silent, save for my brother's gasping laughs. "
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[WP] Perish the thought.
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"\"You mean *cherish* the thought.\" Jake smiled gently at her, sunlight glowing on his face. His tanned skin caught it in a golden sheen and it made his teeth look even whiter in that handsome grin. \n\n\"No, Jake.\" She whispered, looking down. \"I mean perish it.\" \n\n\"The thought of you?\" He leaned forward suddenly, a bold move in so public a place. Men and women walked by with fresh fruit and egg purchases, pointedly ignoring them so they could pretend to now know who started the rumors. \"I could no more lose that thought than a bird can lose its wings.\" \n\n\"It would still live.\" \n\n\"But never fly.\" Jake replied. \n\nShe wiped a tear from her left eye and stepped back. \"But you're married.\" \n\nHe didn't reply as she walked away, never to see him again. "
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[WP]It's 2050 and gladiator fights are now popular again, except instead of choosing a weapon you may choose a superpower. You are set to fight the crowd favorite 10 time champion and all odds are against you. You pick a superpower that no one expected.
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"It was the year 2050, and Gladiator battles are now allowed again. After WWIII we captured prisoners, many many prisoners. We had them fought. But we were more advanced than the original Gladiators. Instead of weapons, we had the fighters use superpowers of their own. It could be entertaining, indeed. But it’s not as fun to fight as it is to watch.\n\nThe bag was lifted over my head and the bright light stung my eyes. Just a few minutes ago i was lifted out of my cell by a team of 5 guards. I was behind a set of bars yet again, but these were bigger than my cell. Lying ahead of me was a large open arena. \n“Oh hell no, I thought i was going to do work! Not this, I’m not a fighter!” I screamed at the guards. It was true, I was kinda scrawny, there was no way i was gonna make it out there. \n“Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine. Go entertain the people.” One of the guards on my left spoke. He was pretty buff, it’d probably be better if i went to fight out there than try and run in here. “Choose a power boy.”\n“What do you mean?”\n“You’re weapon! Do you not know how this works?” He quickly pointed to a wall filled with many glowing orbs stacked on many shelves. How had i not noticed them? “Pick one, they all have different powers. The fighter on the other side is already good to go so hurry up.” There were so many to pick. Some seemed obvious, there was a yellow one that crackled with electricity, blue ones that seemed to have it’s contents flow within it, even a red one that seemed hot to the touch. Others weren’t as clear, there was one with nothing but an odd grey fog in it. “Hurry up dammit!” \n“Okay, i got it” I quickly grabbed semi-transparent one and faced the bars. The guard looked at what i had grabbed and scoffed as he lifted the bars.\n“Good luck with that, no one had ever won using that weak shit. I hope you know how to activate it.” With that, he pushed me beyond the gates and I was in the arena filled with cheering people.\n\nThe other guy wasn’t much bigger than me, but i didn’t stand a chance against him. There were many pillars erect through the arena that obscured my view of the crowd but it gave me a direct view if my opponent.\n“Good luck you lil bitch, you don’t stand a chance here.” I didn’t see his orb in his hands, maybe he’s thinking about using brute force. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a silver one.\n“I’m screwed” I said under my breath. A spear started to produce from the orb. How the hell did he do that? My orb had started to glow a bit. Maybe it was finally doing something but it needed time to charge or something. The other guy started to come after me. “Shit, shit, shit, shit. What am I gonna do?” The pillars! I grabbed ahold of them and began to shimmy my way up until I reached the top. I stood up on it and looked down. He was yelling at me, but he was too far down to hear. The crowd was booing at me. \n“Fight you wuss!”\nMy orb was still starting to get brighter. Slowly, but surely it was. What the hell can this thing do?\n“Get down here and fight dammit!”\n“No, screw that! I want to live!” The orb started to dim\nAfter a minute the orb stopped glowing and the pillar began to shake a bit. He was climbing up the side. I’m done for. His hand slapped the top. Dammit.\n I don’t think i’m gonna make it. \nNo.\n Fight. \nThe odds may not be in my favor, but i needed to fight. The orb started glowing again. I can’t lose against him. \nHis other hand hit the top.\nI had to live through this. \nHis head peeked over the top. He looked at me and grinned. “There you are, any last words?”\n“I could say the same for you.”\nHe scoffed at my comment. “You don’t seem to know what’s gonna happen.”\n“You don’t seem to know the position you’re in right now.” My orb was now shining brighter than before. I felt more courageous now. Like i actually had power. \n“What the hell is that thing?” He asked curiously. “Not like it matters though, it’s gonna be gone in a bit.” He finished his climb and formed a broadsword in his hand from his orb. My body started to feel a bit heavier, like something was weighing me down. I felt no fear. As he raised his sword, i stood still. But it wasn’t fear that was keeping me in place. It was the opposite of that. I stood still because i knew i could beat him. Suddenly the orb in my hand disappeared and my opponent brought his sword down. It deflected harmlessly off my skin. \n“What the hell?” We both gasped. There seemed to be a thin veil of fog formed over my skin. It was barely visible, but it was there. It seemed to be some type of energy.\n“It seems you have underestimated my power!” I kicked his shin to bring him down and he slipped off the pillar. Within a few seconds there was a sound of a thud followed by a quick groan. I jumped down soon after and i landed atop of him to break my fall. I had won, somehow. Still not sure how it worked, i made my way to the gate where i entered from. The orb was back in my hand and the fog had lifted. \n“Wow, that was impressive” One of the guards said as he opened the gates. “That magic we named Fighting Spirit. The user becomes more powerful the more he is willing to fight. It makes the user braver and stronger. You could make it to the point where you have a full blown set of armor.” \n“That’s pretty incredible, why hasn’t anyone won with it though?”\n“Because everyone is scared of fighting who actually uses it. It’s time to go back to your cell though.”\nAnd back to the cell i went. I had no intention of having to fight again but just in case, i slipped the orb in pocket with a smile on my face."
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[WP] You're one of the best lawyers in the magical community. Curses, murder, fraud, you do it all. A client just came into your office and asked for your help. They made their three wishes on a genie, whixh all turned out horribly wrong and caused them more harm than good.
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"\"So what you're telling me is that, instead of granting your wishes the way you would have liked, the genie basically fucked you, and everyone else, over a bit,\" I whispered, tapping my pen on the mahogany desk in front of me. The pen made no sound for the same reason I had to whisper, the idiot in front of me had decided to wish for world peace. \n\n\"Pretty much, yeah. I think it's a flagrant abuse of power, and i deserve compensation,\" the woman whispered back, twirling a strand of her red hair between her fingers, a pout on her lips. \n\n\"You released a type 5 Djinn class creature into the world by rubbing a lamp. It offered you three whishes. You took them, and now you want compensation?\" I asked, a laugh building in my chest. I would have let it out, but the sound wouldn't have carried anyway so laughing would have been pointless. That and I'd look like a crazy person. I was no crazy person, I was Craig Mitchell, the world renowned Human-Mythos Lawyer. Okay, maybe I was a little crazy, details.\n\n\"look, are you going to help me or not?\" The woman hissed out her question, obviously sensing my amusement.\n\n I vaguely wondered if she had any harpy blood in her, it'd explain the beak like nose and the firey temper. That or the stereotypes around Fingers were wholly true. \n\nI have a short hum in thought. \"Yeah, I'm sorry to say, but this isn't going to hold up in Court.\"\n\nThe woman cocked an irate eyebrow. \"What do you mean this isn't going to hold up in Court? That Genie ruined my life and changed the physics of the entire universe, surely that warrants some kind of compensation?\"\n\nI rolled my eyes, let my pen drop from my fingers, and steepled my hands under my chin. She likely wasn't going to accept my explanation either way, but the job necessitated I give her a reason for my refusal of her case. \n\n\"okay, for a start, you willingly released the Genie from its capsule. That alone makes you complicit in the following actions and gives enough evidence to say you had an idea of what you were doing. Second, after the the last widespread Genie wish the Human-Mythos relations office put out new legislation that meant all Genie capsules need to have the words 'exact wording required for wishes to be accurately delivered- use at own risk' plastered along the side. From our pictures, I can very clearly see that this is the case. Your case is flimsy at best, so I'm going to have to decline. All I can say to you is, well, be more careful with your wishes in the future if you ever find another Genie capsule.\"\n\nThroughout my explanation the woman had become angrier and angrier, and was now trying to shout at the top of her lungs. Luckily for me, and likely everyone else in my building, her voice was muted by her own wish. \n\nMaybe that wish for world peace wasn't so idiotic after all. "
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[WP] He hadn't planned on hurting anyone. Plans had changed
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"The room was dark, as dark as the night sky. Jason's head was hurting as he lied on the floor. He was desperately trying to go over the previous night's events in his head. \n\n\"I said I would never hurt anyone. When I became a cop, I vowed to protect the people, not hurt them.\" Jason thought to himself. His thoughts echoed and echoed throughout his head, each of them referencing the scream and the blood. Jason's mind goes numb as last night's events become clearer and clearer. The numbness taking over everything, his face, arms, legs, then sleep overtook him.\n\n.............\n\n\"Dorsey! Asleep on the job again?\" Jason's supervisor, Ethan, was standing over him, graven and humorless as usual. Ethan was a large, bulky man, about what you'd think for a cop, with the moustache to match. Jason flinched and jumped up in his seat.\n\n\"No sir, mister Forney! Just resting my eyes. I have a bad feeling about the Bauers' place tonight.\" The Bauers' place is a huge mansion filled with Lord Bauers' treasures and heavily guarded, but is very susceptible to theft, and there are records of thievery there about every week but there hasn't been a crime there in a month.\n\nEthan clears his throat with a loud \"har-umph\" before responding.\n\n\"The Bauers' place? Tonight? It does have a bad history, but there hasn't been any criminal activity there in a month, Jason.\"\n\n\"That is true, sir. But isn't the Mayor going to be there tonight to do his annual *Beautification*?\" Ah, Mayor Smalls. That old windbag. Smalls is a corrupt politician who has a thing for \"beautifying\" a piece of property every year, to \"improve the appeal of the town\", but only Smalls' rich friends, such as Lord Bauers, ever get their property \"beautified\".\n\nAgain, Ethan clears his throat with an obnoxious \"har-umph\" before responding.\n\n\"I suppose you're right. That'd make the place a pretty big target, huh? Fine, take Moores with you and stake the place out tonight.\n\n\"Yes, sir. I'll get right on it.\" Jason hurries out of the room to debrief Alex on the situation. Alex Moores is about as mysterious a man as you might find. His past is shrouded in mystery, other than that he got perfect scores on all of the tests he took in both high school and college. He's usually the brains of the operation, which is why Ethan assigned him to Jason's team, if it can so be called. Alex has more of an athelete's build, as opposed to most of the other cops. \n\nJason, on the other hand, has a build much like Ethan's, but has the quickest reflexes out of anyone in the academy and the precision to match it. However, he has always vowed to wound someone rather than kill them for personal reasons, and has always done so, to a T.\n\nDusk breaks on the horizon and Jason and Alex are stationed outside of the Bauers' place in their cop car. All is well, for now. Smalls is delivering some bullshit speech on how he is \"helping to benefit the town\" by beautifying the town, the same one he gives every year. Wait, what was that? Something just moved in the shadows.\n\n\"Jason, did you see that?\" Alex questions Jason, who was eating a doughnut and watching Mayor Smalls, completely unaware of anything else.\n\n\"No, what was it?\" Jason replies anxiously.\n\n\"I thought I saw something move in the shadows over there behind the mansion.\" Alex contests, pointing to where the movement was.\n\nJason shrugs. \"Let's check it out.\" They grab their flashlights and pistols and go towards the area. They start looking around.\n\n\"I guess there was nothing here after a-\" All of a sudden, a horde of dubiously cloaked and armed men surround them, completely mute. Actions speak louder than words, after all. The leading figure motioned Jason and Alex to drop their guns or else. They oblige, not having much of a choice in the matter. Two of the leader's cronies take a gun each. The leader starts to speak, his words slightly muffled through his mask.\n\n\"It was foolish of you two to come here alone. The Harlan clan has been planning this gig for a month now, ever since Smalls stated his intent to beautify this place next. Did you really think an overweight mall cop and some pal of his could stop us on their own? If so, then you are even more foolish than I thought.\" The figure sneers through their shroud.\n\n\"What could you possibly stand to gain by taking out Smalls?\" Jason asks.\n\n\"I'm glad you asked that. You see, we've been waiting to rise to power for a long time. We've been gathering our strength and biding our time. We have one of our members in place to take over once Smalls is out of the picture. Once we do, this town will be ours and we can stop turning to petty thievery to make ends meet.\" The ringleader replies.\n\n\"That's pure evil.\" Jason states. Alex is trembling in anger.\n\n\"You would destroy all of these families and citizens just to gain POWER?\" Alex exclaims, lunging forward and tackling the masked figure to the ground. Much of what happened next, Jason regrets. There were shots everywhere and so much blood. Jason recovered his gun from one of the cronies and shot him through the temple, instantly killing him. Jason then shot the rest of them to death, but it was too late to save Alex. All Jason could do was sit there next to Alex as he choked on his own blood and died. Jason just sat there in the pool of blood for what seemed like forever before going back to his apartment and passing out on the floor.\n\n............\n\n\"How could I have done that? How could I have killed all those people? I couldn't save Alex. That was all my fault... If I didn't agree to go and check back there, Alex would still be alive...\" Jason kept pondering and pondering his decisions that night and wondering \"Why me?\" Jason looked at his gun and caressed the trigger with the barrel pointed at his temple, just wondering what could happen if he pulled the trigger.\n\n~~~~~~~~~~~~"
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[WP] You've been cursed to only speak in metaphors and idioms, right before your big meeting with an alien race who takes everything literally
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"I stood, a minuscule rat, under a humongous, green, one-eyed tower. Its single eye pierced through me, and its tentacles dripped down a huge throne, barely large enough to seat it. The human race has made me its sacrificial lamb; they sealed me into its lair and locked the door shut behind me. I took a deep breath, the air giving me life, and began.\n\n\"Ehrm.\" I cleared my throat.\n\nSuddenly my mind turned to mush, beads of sweat ran down the length of my face. My face burned a molten red, then a frozen white.\n\n\"I understand... uh... that we've really dropped the ball with this one.\"\n\nThe alien's stare strikes me.\n\n\"But um... sometimes beauty can be in the... eye of the beholder?\"\n\nShit, I'm choking. That colossus of an eye makes me lose my train of thought.\n\n\"What I'm trying to say is that... drastic times call for drastic measures. Us humans understand that we haven't offered our sacrifice this week, but like I always say, better late than never. Next week you'll get them, double or nothing. And I won't lie, getting them to you is going to cost us an arm and a leg, but we're just going to have to cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope we're seeing ***gulp*** eye to eye.\n\nThe alien let out an affirmative grunt, its sheer phonetic force knocking my socks off.\n\nI thanked my lucky stars. I was on a roll.\n\nThe alien's underlings squeaked next to him, and I decided to bolt before things took a turn for the worse. I made a mad dash for the door, and exited before any of the greenies could get the jump on me. Outside of the chamber I finally breathed easy. Now to reverse this curse before someone else realizes I'm off my rocker.\n\n**Meanwhile back in the Alien King's chamber**\n\n*Alien King to his subordinate:*\n\"The fuck was he talking 'bout Marcus?\""
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[WP] You and 5 friends start a game of "Would You Rather" that goes out of control
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"\"Would you rather incur the wrath of Superman or Satan?\" I asked.\n\n\"Satan of course.\" Tom replied foolishly and it was at that moment the devil appeared before the 5 of us.\n\n\"You're little game has caught my interest. I will make you follow through on your choices so picky carefully. I'll start with you Tom. Would you rather be immortal but in constant agony or die now in a single moment of intense pain?\" Satan said, his horns growing and his tail waving around.\n\n\"Whoa, this Satan costume is amazing, where'd you find it? Who's in there? Probably Liam, seems like something he would do. I'll take the second option.\" Tom laughed, poking evil incarnate in the leg.\n\n\"As you wish.\" Satan chuckled before making a gun with his fingers and pretending to shoot Tom. Well I say pretending but sure enough Tom exploded in a violent burst of flames.\n\n\"You monster!\" Sarah cried as she stared at the ashes that were once Tom.\n\n\"You can be next then. Would you rather become a fly or be eaten to death by flies?\" Satan asked her, his shoulders igniting spontaneously.\n\n\"I refuse to play your sick game.\" Sarah screamed.\n\n\"Both then!\" Satan screamed back as Sarah was transformed into a giant fly. Sure enough a swarm of normal size flies came and ravenously digested her entire body until there was nothing left.\n\nAt that point John tried to make a run for it. He was halfway down the road when Satan appeared in front of him and slapped him down to the ground.\n\n\"Trying to escape me huh? OK then, you can go. But to Mercury or to the bottom of the ocean? Don't worry, I'll make sure you survive.\" Satan promised with a sickening sweetness.\n\n\"Survive on the moon?\" Johnny questioned.\n\n\"It's simple, I'll show you.\" Satan said with glee as he waved his hand and suddenly all of us were on Mercury, but somehow we were all still alive. \n\n\"I'm very powerful, making you able to withstand these conditions is no trouble for me. Of course you'll still need to get food and water, good luck!\" Satan laughed before waving his hand again. Me, him and Raj had returned to my backyard but Johnny wasn't with us.\n\n\"Please, leave us alone.\" Raj squealed, getting down on his knees.\n\n\"Would you like to spend the rest of you're life alone? Or come and live with me?\" Satan posed.\n\n\"Not with you.\" Raj responded instantly.\n\n\"Wrong choice.\" Satan roared as a red forcefield surrounded Raj. I tried to put my hand through it but was violently repelled and sent flying into a wall.\n\n\"He chose to be alone. He'll never interact with another human again.\" Satan chuckled. I could see Raj crying but I couldn't hear him, even though he was so close. Raj started trying to send me a signal with his hands.\n\n\"Oh yeah, almost forgot to make him invisible. That way he will be truly isolated.\" Satan said gleefully as Raj and the forcefield surrounding him disappeared from view.\n\n\"We should've chose Superman.\" I muttered to myself but Satan heard me easily.\n\n\"Silver age or New 52?\" He asked. For a second I thought he was going to argue with me about comics and replied New-52 naively when in a blur I found myself impaled on the arm of said kryptonian before he threw me into the sun and vaporized me with his laser vision before I could be completely burnt to death."
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[WP] It's your 16th birthday, the day everybody awakens their superpowers. Yours should be activated any second now... any second now... surely...
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"\"Daddy\", the little girl said turning to her father, \"where's uncle?\" she continued while pointing at the family gathered at the annual reunion.\n\nYou think back to several years before, to your 16th birthday. Everyone was excited; your powers would awaken today!\n\nUnfortunately, they did.\n\nThis little girl, your niece, is looking for you. You are old enough to be her older brother.\n\nHowever, no one would ever guess this, as you now look younger than her.\n\nEach day, the clock ticks backwards slowly.\n\nEternal Youth isn't supposed to mean this."
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[WP] You are able to go into space but have to sign an Non-Disclosure agreement. You are surprised why. The earth is in fact flat.
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"\"You good at keeping secrets, Mr. President?\" Walker asked President Dorsey, consulting his checklist and flipping switches. Dorsey stared at the gray square covering what Walker said was a window. The well-renowned astronaut had said that he would open it once they were in orbit.\n\n\"It's all part of the job,\" he answered. Walker glanced at him with his eyebrows raised.\n\n\"Are you a good liar?\"\n\n\"I'm a good politician.\" Dorsey pulled at his spacesuit where there would usually be a tie and found the zipper. He twisted it between his fingers.\n\n\"I voted you in because you seemed honest, Dorsey. I'm sad you have to disappoint me.\"\n\n\"What do you mean?\" Dorsey asked. The usually charismatic and grinning Walker was now solemn. \n\n\"This.\" Walker flipped a switch, and the window's cover slid away.\n\nDorsey looked for what he had seen in pictures: a light filled canvas with a gently curving blue fog on the horizon. Below, the lights of a well populated city twinkled, just like he had seen on the news. Then he looked further.\n\n\"It's a disc,\" he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling himself closer to the window. His motion was too much, and he threw his arms out to keep from slamming into the capsule's wall. The blue fog wasn't some trick of the atmosphere; it was actual fog that hovered at the edge of an ice white wall that bordered the disc. His mind reeled. \"It's a goddamn disc.\"\n\nWalker's mouth twisted in a frown that was almost reminiscent of his signature smirk. \"Yep.\"\n\n\"But how?\" He whirled to face Walker, hitting the wall with his arm. \"The moon landings, the pictures, how?\" He asked, rubbing his shoulder.\n\nWalker sighed. \"I reacted the same way the first time they took me up.\" He set his checklist aside and let it float. \"It's all angles. They give us a lesson in photography, show us how to get it just right. Nobody questions it because they trust their astronauts.\"\n\n\"Then what's beyond there?\" Dorsey gestured out the window, at the foggy edge of the world.\n\n\"We don't know. But we're working on it,\" replied Walker. Dorsey let out a breath through his teeth. \"There's a subdivision of NASA. Top secret stuff. They sent a crew of seven out, back in November of your election year. We call them the Pandora missions. No one was paying attention, thanks to you and Bentley. Mostly Bentley.\" Dorsey recalled his opponent, and the ridiculousness of his campaign. It choked up the news, and you could see a record of Bentley's antics across every news source.\n\n\"And how have they been? It's been a year. And what about the moon landings? What about your Mars mission?\"\n\n\"All of my stuff? That's all lies. We use the billions we spent on the SLS on Pandora and used 3/4 of it on Pandora, and the rest on sets, cameras, and improv lessons. We do the great American scientist act, and no one questions it. They lap up every word we say, and they'll do the same with your words. \" Walker's gaze hovered on the special mission patch they had given Dorsey.\n\n\"What are they-- we-- so afraid of?\"\n\n\"You think that once people learn about it, they won't try to find it? Space is expensive. Boats aren't. Everyone can be Columbus, but not everyone can be Glenn.\" Walker slid the cover back over the window. \"It's a dangerous journey. They say that us astronauts are the heroes of our generation. But we're just pretending. The real heroes are out there, looking for the edge of the world.\"\n\n\"Oh.\" Dorsey guided himself back into his seat. He sighed. \"I suppose this is why I signed the NDA.\" Walker nodded.\n\n\"Yes, Mr. President. Don't worry. I have faith that you will know how to respond.\" He opened a cabinet and pulled out a headset, sliding it over his head. \"Houston, we're in orbit.\" He picked up his checklist again, reading off of it. Dorsey heard the crackle of a response, and Walker glanced over at him. \"Yeah, I told him.\" The voice sounded again.\n\"They want a video of you, to show the people.\"\n\n\"Okay.\" He reached up and combed his hair back. It was usually gelled neatly, but was now unkempt and pushed out of shape by the helmet he had worn. Walker pulled out a video camera and faced him.\n\n\"You ready?\"\n\nDorsey responded with a thumbs up. A light on the front of the camera lit green, and he managed a weak smile.\n\n\"Well, folks, I'm here.\" He pushed off of his seat and hovered. \"It was a rough journey up.\"\n\n\"And how's the view, Mr. President?\" Walker asked, joy evident in his voice but not his expression.\n\nDorsey's smile stretched even further, until his mouth hurt. He hoped it reached his eyes. \"The view is amazing. Nothing like you could imagine.\"\n\n\n\nSorry for any errors/formatting. I wrote this on my phone."
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[WP] Write a story. It can be anything you want, it just has to mention a lamp in some way.
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"Liam Neeson stood on top of Torchiere Tower, his cape flapping magnificently in the wind. A pattern of gold floor lamps shone in the evening sun. He turned to his army below, which was comprised of clockwork lamp golems, and pointed beyond the Tower's defensive wall. \n\n\"They come!\" \n\nThe golems began flicking their lightbulbs on and off and banging their shields with their lamppost cudgels. Neeson raised his fist in the air and roared. Beyond the Tower's walls, a horde of magically-animated candelabras stomped its way forward with lockstep rhythm. \n\n\"Fire the catapults!\" \n\n\"But sir,\" yelled a golem, \"we replaced them with trebuchets, a far superior siege weapon!\" \n\n\"Of course!\" Liam Neeson nodded. \"Let fly the explosive desk lamps!\" \n\nHeavy wooden desk lamps hurled through the air and slammed into the candelabras, exploding on impact and sending brass piping and wax everywhere. In the back of the candelabra army, a row of sinister, cape-wearing candle snuffers began to weave dark magic. \n\nA squad of heavily armored lamp golems charged down the Tower's front ramp, directly at the enemy. With both hands, they swung their long floor lamps in broad sweeping arcs, knocking back scores of candelabra. The other golems cheered as the candelabra army splintered under the assault. Liam Neeson stood, one knee perched incredibly heroically on a battlement, and grinned until he started to notice a tingling in his hands. \n\n\"What is this madness?\" He stumbled backwards from the battlement, tearing off his gloves and tossing them aside. He held up his fingers, which were splitting down the middle, forming tiny flesh-and-bone candelabras. \n\n\"Aaaaah! My manly and heretofore incredibly strong hands!\" \n\n\"Sir?\" asked a nearby golem, rolling over on its wheeled lamp base. It shone its light onto Neeson's hands and recoiled. \"Sir! Your hands!\" \n\n\"My hands!\" \n\n\"Your hands!\" \n\n\"Aaaah!\" \n\n\"Aaaah!\" \n\nThe Tower exploded. Neeson hurtled through the air and crashed through a nearby candelabra tree. He tried in vain to grab one of the tree's many branches as he fell, but the branches were slick with wax and besides his fingers were fully formed tiny candelabras at this point and were seriously useless for all of the tasks that we normally expect fingers to perform. He fell to the ground at the foot of the tree. \n\n\"My head,\" Liam Neeson said. \"Oh no! The Tower!\" \n\nHe looked up just in time to see the last of his golems being dismantled, bulb to base, by the the candelabra horde. A stray candle snuffer, still chanting dark and evil incantations and otherwise just acting all creepy, rambled by and caught sight of Neeson. \n\nLiam Neeson shuffled backwards, pawing with his useless hands at his belt, as the candle snuffer approached. Just as it loomed directly over him, he whipped out a small flashlight with both hands and flicked it on with his nose. The flashlight, which is really just a portable lamp if you think about for like two seconds, fired a beam of blue lazer light stuff and melted the candle snuffer where it stood. \n\nLiam Neeson fled into the night, leaving behind the burning ruins of Torchiere Tower and his clockwork lamp golem army. \n\n***** \nAs always, this is serious and important writing here in /r/writingprompts. For more serious and important writing, visit /r/hpcisco7965 but don't like upvote or leave comments because the guy who runs that sub seriously hates that. \n",
"Hopping around for a minute and then standing still for hours would seem to be an alright job. Sure $5 an hour would seem to be crappy by human standards, but hell, Harold wasn't human and he could take all the money he could get. God damn, where are the hot chicks at? He met plenty of celebrities and cute yellow minions but had yet to see a fellow lamp with the light intensity and body he craved. Having been a virgin for his whole life, he wanted to wrap his neck around another and do some unspeakable things to the light of his life. The Pixar execs treated Harold very well, gave him the VIP treatment but had yet to introduce him to any dreamy lamps or even buy him a decent lampshade. Aw, oh well, he told himself, he has had a good life, as he intentionally decided to pull his own plug from the socket."
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[WP] You cling to the cliff, desperately trying not to fall. You feel yourself slipping, and as you look up one last time, you see HER eyes.
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"Of all of the people I expected to see tonight, *she* was the last one I expected. Pedestrians? Sure. Police? Definitely. Hell, I even expected to see the local fire department before I saw her. But I am not a cat stuck in a tree. I am not a criminal who finished pulling off a robbery. And, I am not a spectacle to behold by onlookers. Nobody came. Nobody, except for her.\n\nMy fingers were getting tired, much like the rest of me. My body felt strained, I could not last much longer under these conditions.\n\nShe stood there, looking down at me. Her long hair cascaded down past her shoulders, tucked behind them revealing her beautiful eyes. Her eyes were as pure as porcelain. Eyes that will forever haunt me. It is time to let go. Let go of her. Let go of myself.\n\nThe police received reports of a body found at the bottom of a ravine right off of a major mountain road. The emergency medical team was the first to respond to the call, followed shortly by the forensics team, and finally a handful of detectives, though they only needed one to put the pieces together. One week prior to the discovery of the body, a driver had been forced off the road during a storm and plummeted to the bottom of the ravine.\n\nShe died on impact.",
"That bitch has always been there for me. Her brown eyes look back at me as I fall into oblivion, my own death an inevitability. Those eyes bring comfort. Comfort knowing that at least she’ll care that I'm gone. At least I had one friend in my life.\n\nI think about all the times we spent cuddled up on the couch together with her laying on top of me, my arms around her. Life wasn't too bad then. There was no asshole boss. No rude ass customers. Just her and me. As shitty as my life has always been, at the very least, I had her in my life. She was there when I came home. She was there when I left. When I woke up in the middle of the night, she was right there by my side. If I had a nightmare, she would cuddle with me until I fell back asleep.\n\nI’ll be dead any moment now but it's funny, I've been on this Earth 30 years And you would think that as I hurtle towards my inevitable death, I'd be thinking about all the things I missed out on. Nope. Because of her, I'm okay. I'm okay with it because I lived. It wasn't much of a life but I shared it with her.\n\nI just hope someone fills her bowl while I'm gone.",
"Of course, it was Her eyes.\n\nThose eyes filled with Love,\nKindness,\nWarmth,\nAccusation.\n\nIt's my fault, all my fault. This is what I deserve.\n\nI choke back a sob, this is my punishment or at least it's beginning. \n\nFor my failure, for the broken promise.\nFor letting her pass and for letting her go.\n\n\"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.\"\n\nI fall into the raging unforgiving waters below.\n\nWhere I die.\nWhere my life ends.\nWhere my apologies fall with me as I plummet to my doom,\nand into hell."
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[WP] You are the fiercest demon in the Netherworld. You were not supposed to be accidentally summoned by a...cat?
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"Raiklysh stepped around the summoning circle, bending down to examine the shattered spice jar. I drummed my fingers upon my elbows. Gods, I itched. Being summoned always did and after the fifth time you'd think I would get used to it. I shifted and one of Raiklysh's golden eyes swiveled toward me.\n\n\"Well?\" I snapped.\n\n\"Still looking. What's the matter with you?\"\n\n\"It itches.\" And I had just trimmed my fingernails the night before. Of all the nights to decide for a more human look. Nothing to be done about the ebon color, though. \"Hurry up! How did I get here?\"\n\nThe demon pointed at the chalk design on the wooden floor surrounding my feet. \"Standard summoning, looks like. Pentagram. Salt. Venesh binding-\"\n\n\"I know that. Allow me to rephrase the question: where is the one who brought me here?\"\n\nRubbing his chin, my partner studied the circle. A low rumble sounded. \"You hungry?\" he said as I said, \"What's that noise?\" We both flinched as a white streak vaulted into view from behind the television. A fat, blue-eyed cat continued its rumbling purr, gazing from me to Raiklysh then back again. Then, it began to groom itself, pink tongue darting away the grey smudges on its paws-\n\n\"That's Venesh ash it's eating.\" Raiklysh blurted. His slash of a mouth fell open, then stretched wide in a sneer as he slowly turned to me.\n\nI groaned. \"It was an accident? That feline summoned me by knocking a damned spice jar of Venesh ash into a nearly complete summoning circle?\" \n\n\"Its human must have been called away. Pity. Well, good luck.\" Raiklysh made a cutting motion in the air, silken light issuing from his claw in a line.\n\n\"Excuse me? Get me out!\" my feet refused to move from the floorboards no matter how hard I pulled; the salt and chalk and ash glowed white in response.\n\n\"Don't worry!\" Raiklysh chuckled. \"The cat summoned you and will likely die in little while from the ash it's cleaning off itself. Either that or the human will come back and will want to make a deal. Most likely for a new cat.\" Pulling the line apart, Raiklysh stepped through. \"Don't wait up! I've been dying to race your office chair down that long hall between Logistics and Accounting.\"\n\nThe portal fell shut and I made sure to list each and every one of Raiklysh's predecessors and minions with a few choice descriptors. Once I had finished and the ozone scent in the air diminished, I sighed and turned to the cat. \"There has to be a better way to meet up.\"\n\nThe white fur fell away as a lithe form sprung out of the diminutive feline shape, transforming into green and gold and colors of spring. A very unangelic smirk spread across her face as she doffed her halo in a bow, set it back atop her gleaming locks, and kicked the circle open.\n",
"It's difficult for me to even comprehend how this could happen. How does a demon even prepare for this? It's not like they teach you this at \"Demon School\", if there even was one.\n\n\"Meow.\"\n\nI mean, how could it even pull it off? I *intentionally* made my summoning ritual difficult. I absolutely *loath* the human world, but now I have to serve this cat? And I don't even get to keep its soul in return! Seriously, we *really* need to rethink this whole \"no pets go to hell\" policy we have going on.\n\n\"Meow-\"\n\n\"Yeah, in a minute. I'm thinking. Give me a second.\"\n\nAlright, so I can't exactly *communicate* with the damn thing. After all, speaking \"cat\" isn't even a real language. Their meowing is just something they've learned to get the attention of mortals, not some kind of decipherable language. So it's not like I can-\n\n\"**MEOW**!\"\n\n\"Alright already! Fine! I'm not going to try and figure out how you got the goat's blood, ancient runes, and an autographed picture of Matthew Perry. However, you CLEARLY summoned me here for a reason. So what is it you want?!\"\n\nThe cat sat there, silently, staring at me. Its black fur was nice and smooth and its tail just waved back and forth, *taunting me*.\n\n\"Ugh, fine whatever. I'll figure it out myself.\" I started looking around at my surroundings, hoping that I could find some indication of what exactly this cat wants. Aside from the other twenty or so cats in the room (yeah, that's not weird *at all*) it looked like an average two-bedroom apartment. Nobody else was home; I'm guessing the owner of these little felines was off working or running errands or some other mundane task. This left me with few options.\n\n\"Are you hungry? Is that what it is?\"\n\n\"Meow.\"\n\n\"Of course, you can't answer me. Damn... Well, let's figure it out through process of elimination then. Hopefully your owner has food for you somewhere around here.\" I made my way from the living room, stepping over the satanic circle crafted by the cat, pausing only briefly to admire how well draw out my name was in goat's blood. How the hell did that cat even?--NOPE. Not getting off track again.\n\nAfter making my way to the kitchen, I found a can opener sitting on the counter next to the refrigerator, the refrigerator of which contained over fifty cans of cat food. The sound of the seal on the refrigerator door being broken unleashed a hell of which I myself have not experienced in the centuries of residing in the never ending torment that is Hell. Before I could react, flashes of fur and claws surrounded my peripheral vision until the only thing I could see were cats. Cats everywhere! On the counters, on the chairs, on top of other cats! It was madness. I quickly opened the can of food and lobbed it into the growing mass of cats, hoping that my summoner received even a morsel. Just to be safe, I grabbed two more cans, opened them up, and tossed them into the mound of felines.\n\nMinutes passed in what felt like hours. Finally, when every sliver of food had been consumed, the mass dissipated until the only thing left were empty cans, loose cat fur, and sleeping cats. All sleeping, except for one.\n\n\"Well, I guess it wasn't food you wanted...\" I stated, both in relief that the experience was over and despair that there was more to come. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a glimmer of light reflecting off of something. This something was sitting in the corner of the room to my right, which appeared to be a laundry room. Carefully stepping over each cat, I made my way through the kitchen and into the laundry room. What I saw was a wicker basket full of shiny ribbon, some of which was torn to shreds and some of which was still intact. I grabbed a piece that was still together and made my way back to Him in the living room.\n\n\"Is this what you want?\" I ask, dangling the ribbon in front of the cat's face. His eyes lit up, his behind rose up, and his ears went flat against his head. He pounced, missing by only inches. Again, I dangled the ribbon, pulling it away just before he could sink his claws into it. This continued a while, and I was actually beginning to enjoy myself. Finally, after nearly fifteen minutes of playing, I resigned, allowing the little creature to tear at the ribbon until his heart was content.\n\nAaaand I'm still here.\n\n\"Alright, so you don't want food and you didn't summon me to play. What is it that you want?! I'm a very busy demon you know. I have souls to steal, people to bargain with. Not to mention I'm leading the Royal Hell Philharmonic in three hours and I have yet to even change--look. I want to fulfill your desire just as much as you do. At least give me a hint at what you want.\"\n\nThe cat, fixated on me as I made my rant, stood up from gnawing at the ribbon and walked behind me. I turned and noticed a large, sliding glass door.\n\n\"Meow!\" the cat screamed, pawing at the door.\n\n\"... You're kidding. You summoned me to *open a goddamned door?!* Why the hell would you--you know what, screw it. Let's just get this over with.\" I walked over and opened the door. Seeing as though this was a second floor apartment, the only place for the cat to go was a small balcony, which was surrounded by a wall of screen mesh, the kind you see in windows. I shut the door behind the cat, sighing a sigh of relief. Except I was still standing there. And the cat was pawing at the door again after being out there for literally less than ten seconds. Figures. I opened the door again, letting the cat back in, and coming to terms with the fact that I'll be here forever. I shut the door again behind the cat as to not let any of the air conditioning out, and suddenly I was back in Hell again.\n\n\"... Wait, so he only wanted me to... ***OH YOU SON OF A BI-***\"\n\nI was teleported again. At least now I could move on to a different assignment. Except I was in the same apartment, staring at a different cat.\n\nI erupted, shouting and screaming and cursing until I turned an even darker shade of red than I already was. After finally regaining my composure, I just stood there, slumping my shoulders, begging for this never ending torment to grant me mercy. Suddenly, I heard the sound of the lock on the door turning.\n\n\"Hello my darlings, I'm home! I hope you're nice and hungry because mommy brought home some fresh fi--AAAAHHHHHHH!\" She screamed the second she laid eyes on me. \"W-w-who are you and what are you doing in my home?! And why are you red?! Are those horns real?!\"\n\n\"Lady, you have too many goddamn cats!\" "
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[WP] Armed with the ability to steal the happiest memories from anyone, you live the life of an addict, always needing another fix. Write your deathbed confession.
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"\"You can come in now,\" the nurse said quietly. \n\nThe woman followed her, fighting back tears, ushering her son past the rooms filled with sick, sick people, complex machines, grieving families and the smell of disinfectant.\n\nThe nurse turned her sympathetic, professional face to the woman, and indicated the room where her father lay. The old man's breathing noisy through the oxygen mask. When he saw his daughter, he reached up a shaking hand to remove it. She moved to stop him, but he waved her away.\n\n\"I have to tell you something.\"\n\nThe woman, not trusting her voice to speak, nodded.\n\n\"Janet, I need to confess something to you.\"\n\nThe boy turned a questioning face to his mother. \"Mum?\"\n\n\"Ssh,\" she whispered. \"Let grandpa speak.\"\n\nThe old man's eyes were on his daughter's. His mouth was open, but he seemed to be hesitating.\n\n\"Go on,\" she encouraged him.\n\n\"I steal memories.\"\n\nShe nodded, but his words made the grief bloom on her face.\n\n\"I steal people's memories. I first learned how to do it when you were eight, Janet. When Rover died, you were so heartbroken. You wouldn't eat.\"\n\nThe old man coughed, a long drawn-out racking cough. \n\n\"You wouldn't eat. I wished and wished I could take away your hurt. And then I discovered I could.\"\n\nThe woman's eyes showed sadness and puzzlement.\n\n\"You can't remember Rover.\"\n\nShe shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.\n\n\"You can't remember Rover, because I took the memory away. I took the memory away, Janet. And afterwards, you were happy again. Or, not so sad. Not as happy as Rover had made you, but not so sad as when he'd gone.\"\n\nThe sorrow contorted her face. If she tried to speak now, she would cry and cry and maybe never stop.\n\n\"I did the same when Josh left you in high school. You don't remember Josh either. I took the memory away. Janet. I'm so sorry. Do you forgive me?\"\n\nThe woman didn't know what to say. Didn't even know if she could speak. None of this made sense. She nodded her head. The old man continued.\n\n\"I saw you leave for college, full of neither happiness nor sadness. I treasured your memories, and replayed them to myself. When your mother left, your happy memories were all I had. But i couldn't bring myself to take any more from you. I started taking other people's, Janet. I stole memories from strangers in the street. Holidays, promotions, love, acceptance, friendships. I took as many as I wanted. I went on living not in my own present, but in the reminiscences of others.\"\n\nThe old man paused, and looked away. The woman looked at the man, the boy and the nurse at the woman. There was silence, except for the rattle of the man's breath, and the hum of the machines. Eventually, the man spoke again, not looking at his daughter.\n\n\"That's why I drifted out of your life, Janet. I'm so sorry.\"\n\nA long pause, then a broken whisper, \"It's ... it's all right, dad...\"\n\n\"I hope I made up for it,\" the old man said, quietly.\n\n\"There's ... nothing to make up for... no need...\"\n\nHe turned to her, and spoke again, still weak, but more strongly, \"I hope I made up for it. Let me tell you what I did, Janet.\"\n\n\"... you... \"\n\n\"The doctors told me I was dying, Janet. My mind was full of happy memories, and none of them were mine, and I was dying. So I found some people who needed the memories, and I gave them back.\"\n\nShe nodded, silently, listening.\n\n\"I found a nursing home. Full of broken people. People with lost hopes, lost dreams, lost minds. And I gave them all the memories. All of them, Janet. Everything I'd taken from people, I gave back to people. Someone else has your Rover, now, Janet. Someone else has the memories of Josh, and all the other memories. I kept none for myself, Janet, none at all.\"\n\nExhausted, the man seemed to sink into his pillow. He closed his eyes.\n\n\"I hope that makes up for it.\"\n\nAgain, the hospital silence. Eventually, the man's breathing became more regular. He seemed to have fallen asleep. The woman touched her son's shoulder, and turned to go, pausing only when the nurse gave her a tissue and a gentle hug. \n\nAs they rounded a corner towards the exit, the nurse heard the boy ask his mother, \"Mum, why did grandpa keep calling you Janet?\"\n\nShe looked at the sleeping old man, then entered to replace his oxygen mask. A second nurse entered, and started checking the machinery, making notes on a pad. \n\n\"I heard the whole story,\" said the second, as they left the room, their tasks complete.\n\nThe first one nodded, sadly. \"Alzheimer's is such a terrible thing.\"\n\n",
"I've been to about five hundred weddings, as both the bride and groom. I've danced with movie stars, hit home runs, and won contests for just about anything you can imagine. All this because I can steal memories. If you want proof, open the envelope in the corner after I finish, but please, hear me out. \n\nThis morning, I stole the happiest memories of a young child. Didn't think much of it. He was wandering the streets, unsupervised. So I grasped his mind in my power and squeezed out his happiest memory. In it, he was eating pea soup. I kept waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever did. He was homeless. He hadn't eaten in months. That bowl of pea soup was the happiest memory he had. \n\nIt was then I decided I needed to stop. I went to church for perhaps the first time in my life, and met with Father Gregory for a confession. A first step, if you will. \n\nFather Gregory is known for being a kind hearted soul. He is an absolute saint. Free of sin, full of patience, warmth, and understanding. So I felt he would understand when I confessed my sins. Instead, he got eerily quiet. I know it was the worst time to do this. Perhaps the stupidest thing to ever do. But I stole Father Gregory's happiest memory. And I wish I hadn't. \n\nIt was dark. Underground, or at least indoors at night. My dry, cracked feet picked pebbles off the dirt floor as I trudged forward, carrying a heavy iron lamp whose flame vanished a few feet into the darkness, casting light over a wooden table where a few tools lay. I stopped in front of the bound figure of a young child and set the lantern down. I stroked her hair, grabbed a hacksaw from the table, and... I think you know the rest. \n\nHe will plead innocent. He will feign ignorance. He shot me as I left the confession booth, but I got away. I've requested only you be my visitor, because I can trust you and because he can't trace me to you. I don't think I have much time left. Beware of Father Gregory- he is not who he appears to be. ",
"It happened years ago. I was only eight.\n\nI was with my friend, Amy. She had soft brown hair that was always tied up into a ponytail. It's strange. I can't remember the details of her face or the color of her eyes, yet I can still remember the ponytail.\n\nWe were playing in the shack that laid in the forest behind her house. It was our secret. A flimsy wood thing with an old faded blue blanket to act as a tarp to keep the rain out. I spent most of my childhood in that shack.\n\nAmy was telling me about her family. She was telling me about the Thanksgiving dinner she had with her relatives, about how boring it was. It was inbetween her rant about a particularly overbearing aunt when I noticed the heavy smell hanging in the air. It was the smell of freshly cooked meat.\n\nGhostly, indistinct voices surrounded me. They weren't those kinds of ghostly voices that you would hear in some sort of cheesy horror movie. The voices weren't malevolent, just out of focus, like they were coming from some deep, forlorn cavern. \n\nThere was something congenial about the distant utterances and whispers erupting around me that quieted any and all doubts that I had on their goodwill. Something that made me want to get closer to the source of it. Something warm and pleasing.\n\nSo I reached out. Grabbed it.\n\nAmy froze in that moment. It was as if a demon had grabbed hold of her neck and tore the words right out of her.\n\nIt seemed like a dream at first. I was surrounded by people that loved me. Happy, laughing people with broad grins on their bright and sunny faces chattering away like they were all good friends. They were more than good friends, though. They were family. \n\nIt was such a delightful dream. The details were blurry, but the image was still intoxicatingly sweet. I wanted more.\n\nAnother memory surfaced almost as quickly as that one ended. I was at a birthday party, with a big strawberry cake in the middle of a table filled with good friends. The candle was formed in the shape of a big eight. I blew the candle out and everyone cheered. Someone, my mother, asked me what I wished for.\n\nI smiled at her demurely. \"If I tell you, it won't come true.\" \n\nThe memory evaporated. This time I didn't wait for another to bubble to the surface. I reached under and pulled hard. It felt like ripping maggots out from under the skin of a rotting carcass. The memory wriggled in my hand.\n\nIt was my first day at school. Some part of me knew that this wasn't actually my body. It wasn't my memory. The clothes I was wearing were too nice to have belonged to me, but I wanted to believe.\n\nThe teacher called me up to the blackboard and asked me to write my name. I took the chalk in my fingers and dragged it on the board. It made a horrible screeching sound. The teacher glared daggers at me as the rest of the class laughed. After a while, I began laughing as well.\n\nThe memory faded once again. I took another one.\n\nAnother birthday. This time the candle wasn't in any particular shape and there was more than one of them. Four candles sat on top of the strawberry cake, all of them standing as straight as uniformed soldiers on parade. Strawberry was my favorite flavour. There weren't as many people -\n\nIt popped. I reeled back from the shock, being shaken out of my stupor. Amy sat in the corner of the shack, with a slack jaw that drip saliva and dull, unfocused eyes.\n\nI reached for another memory. Just one more.\n\nShe always sat alone at lunch and was always so quiet. Sometimes she came to school with bruises, sloppily hid with makeup. Her brown eyes, hidden with straight black hair always seemed to be on the verge of tears. Everyone thought she was a weirdo.\n\nI stalked quietly over to her as she was sniffing inquisitively at some odd looking peas. I grinned. \"Hello!\"\n\nWhen she reeled back, her long black hair fluttered lightly. Her eyes went wide. \"W-what?\", she said.\n\nShe looked like a frightened bunny. Her nose even *twitched*. She couldn't be all that bad.\n\n\"My name is Amy!\", I told her, giving her my best smile. \"What's your name?\"\n\nWhen that memory disappeared, I found tears in my eyes. Amy was unresponsive. No matter what I did, she was immobile. She hardly even blinked. I don't remember how long I stayed by her side. Someone eventually heard my frantic cries and discovered me shaking her limp body and yelling her name nonstop. *Amy! Amy! I'm sorry, Amy! Please come back, Amy!*\n\nThe prominent theory is that she suffered some sort of stroke which triggered a new and undiscovered neural disease, causing severe degradation of the brain. I visited her last month. She was an eight year old stuck in the body of someone in her thirties. She didn't remember me, just stared with those same dull eyes that I saw all those years ago. I found those eyes to be oddly castigating. Maybe she knew what I did.\n\nI ended up taking the rest of her memories. I made her forget how to pump blood through her heart.\n\nI am sorry, Amy. We should have never been friends.\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] And so the world ends. Not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a honk.
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"The world was going to end. Nukes were flying, robots marching, planes falling from the skies.\n\nA white beared wise old bald man walked along the shore of the Thames, pondering the mysteries life.\n\nA life which would soon end.\n\nHe recollected a distant memory of a faint conversation \"If you knew with certainty that today was the end of the world -- how would you spend that final day?\" echoed in his brain.\n\n\"Right\" he thought, and pondered the question once more, stroking his very wise white beard, and scratched his rather round, bald head.\n\nHe said out loud \"I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass.\" -- and so he did.\n\nAnd the world of Karl Pilkington and every last person ended, with a great last honk."
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[WP] you can see into the future, but cannot tell anyone else without altering the space time fabric. you can't change the future, just live through it while knowing everything. after countless failed relationships, you finally find the one, and it's the last person you'd want to spend forever with.
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"It usually takes one date. Just one date. We'll be casually chatting over dessert, he'll smile at me and all of a sudden-- BAM! In my mind's eye I can see us, three months from now. He feels threatened by my higher salary. I feel threatened by how many close female friends he has. We implode. Sometimes we don't even make it past the bread sticks. She's going to go through a grunge phase in a few years and while future!me tries to pretend she's attracted to the look, she's not.\n\nEvery date is like this. Sometimes I ignore the distant future for the butterflies in my stomach *right now*. That doesn't change the fact that things play out just as I see them. I can't change the future, I can only see it. So goes the curse.\n\nAnd then It happens. One day, I sit down to dinner with this guy. He's cute. He's funny. We chat and laugh for a few hours. Dinner, dessert, a walk in the park. Nothing. Not a thing. At first, I don't notice. But then it starts to gnaw at me. He notices my anxiety and stands still. \"You all right?\"\n\nI nod, trying to pretend my fingers aren't curled up against my skirt. What am I supposed to say? \"Well, you see, my dude, I can't tell what our future is like together and it's freaking me out.\"\n\nMaybe it's just a fluke, I say to myself. But I know it's not. We part ways, making plans to meet again soon. I nearly run back to my apartment, rushing to find the scroll the curse is written on. An unnecessarily poetic description of how the future will haunt my love life. How \"the one for whom time stops\" is the one I'm destined to be with forever. \n\nThat's it. That's gotta be him.\n\nNausea washes over me. You think you've got commitment phobia? Try being the girl who knows exactly what's going to happen in a relationship all the damn time. This time I know nothing except it'll last forever. What could be worse?"
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[WP] You are a regular person watching TV when a piercing sound hits you from all directions. When the sound dissipates, a voice is heard. "Timeline simulation corrupted, reverting to 2016."
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"I flicked through the cable channels trying to find something to watch. Most fiction seemed a little tame now after the events of the last 18 months.\n\nIt all started with David Bowie dying. Someone on Twitter joked that he was holding together the very fabric of the universe, because within a short space of time dozens of much loved celebrities had died unexpectedly, the UK had voted to leave the EU and Donald Trump (of all people!) had become President of the United States of America. The FBI and CIA were claiming the Russians had helped him get in. There was also now some talk that they'd helped the UK get out of the EU. Even House of Cards never went this far.\n\nI flicked through the channels.... war, crime, Nigel Farage, Hillary looking haggard, more war, a tribute to Prince, a nature documentary showing the ice caps melting... and then EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS\n\nA piercing sound hit me from all directions. I hit the volume button on the TV but with no effect. The sound seemed to come from...everywhere at once. I covered my ears in agony.\n\nAfter what seemed like an age, the sound dissipated. I rubbed my ears. And then I heard a strange voice. It was as if it was speaking a foreign language yet I could understand the meaning. The voice didn't sound artificial but it didn't sound like it had come from a human either. The voice said: Timeline situation corrupted. Reverting to 2016.\"\n\nI looked at the TV and it seemed to stretch away from me as if suddenly being warped to light speed. As the TV stretched away, I could seem my arm and hand (still holding the remote control) also stretch towards infinity. \"What is happening?\" I tried to say but my voice stretched out in an elongated spaghetti sound and then I hurtled towards blackness and then was still.\n\nAn age passed. And then I heard a pop, like the sound a balloon makes when it hits a sharp object and suddenly light was thrown at me from all sides and I felt like I was falling and there was a jolt and... I was right back where I was. In my chair. In front of the TV. But it was different.\n\nThe weather was different. It was colder and the light from the sun seemed bluer. I glanced at the clock... 9.36am. But it was afternoon a minute ago. I flicked the TV back on and tried to find a news channel to tell me the time. Aha. It *was* 9.36am... but... January 16th! What the hell? Wait, it gets weirder... January 16th 2016.\n\nI grabbed my phone and checked various news websites. They all said the same - I'm back in 2016. \n\nWait... it's the 16th of January, so that means Bowie must be dead now. Let's have a look on Wikipedia.\n\nWikipedia shows he's still alive. What about Alan Rickman, didn't he die soon after Bowie?\n\nNope, he's still alive also.\n\n**Diary Entry, 13th April 2017**\n\nWell, this is it. A year to the day after I witnessed the mysterious event on my sofa, I'm back to where I started. Except the world now looks radically different to the one experienced first time around. Bowie, Prince and George Michael played a charity event in New York. Alan Rickman was knighted. Britain are still in the EU by a 2% narrow margin and Hillary has just bombed Syria. So I guess some things never change."
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[WP] You spend your life training to defeat the Anti-Christ, only to find out on the day of Rapture that it's actually you..
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"Years of physical training. Thousands of hours of research to discover the strengths of the heavens, the weaknesses of hell. Days of listening to sermons, helping people with their problems, building connections and alliances. All worthless.\n\nI was supposed to be the line of defense the church relied upon to save those of the Earth from the indulgences of the Anti-Christ after the believers were brought to heaven. Careful applications of sin to prevent me from being brought along to the Rapture. Unshriven, never baptized, kept away from anything that could even be considered holy, I was to be the powerful force of good to stop evil after there were no bastions of light left on the Earth.\n\nJoke's on literally everyone. The bishops, the popes, the priests, every member of the clergy, they all were patiently looking for signs of the arrival of the prime evil. The great beast, who would rule the world and rage against heaven, who would need to be opposed without any true believers left on the planet to oppose him. How could they see that the Anti-Christ was coming...\n\nWhen I was already here?"
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[WP]You wake up in a cell captured. Your only hope? The main characters from the last animated show you watched the previous day
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"'Hey!'\n\nI shout\n\n'HEY!!'\n\nI shout louder. Still nothing. He's sat there leaning back on his chair taking an afternoon snooze with an AK-47 on his lap. I knew I shouldn't have come out to the back and beyond of Brazil. Now I'm sat here in yesterdays t shirt, jeans and boots in some crummy cell in the middle of no where with the sun beating down. Opposite me is another cell with a hefty guy, topless and wearing shorts fast asleep on the cell bench. \n\nI shout at the guard again, he's dead to the world asleep. The place is silent bar a few chickens I can hear squaking in the background. I poke my head out of the bars and look to the right. Vast desert stretches out, sun light shimmying off the horizon and the guards cabin is to the left. A black and white cat lazily meanders around, finds some shade under the guards desk and settles down for a nap. It seems I'm the only one around here that's awake. I don't even know what time it is for a start, they took everything off me. And I still have no idea where I am.\n\n---\n\nIt's some time later and I've dozed off on the bench. Voices in the distance wake me up. I hear voices! Faintly in the background, I can't quite make them out, sounds English. All of a sudden, a man who looks to be around 200 years old stumbles around the corner. He's bald, wearing slippers with a long white coat on, bit like a scientist, with huge thick spectacles and wearing wearing slippers. He spies me and shouts \n\n'Good news everyone! We've come to rescue you!'\n\nI stare at him thinking this must be some kind of joke. What the hell's going on?! Next thing a guy with ginger hair, jeans, white t shirt with a red jacket arrives and says they'll have me out in no time. Before I can ask how, a real life walking talking robot appears, smoking a cigar and drinking a beer, shouts at me, laughs at me and calls me a sack of crap for getting into this mess. Speechless is an understatement...\n\nI assume his boss then arrives and tells him to shut up and get bending. This woman has one eye! ONE EYE!! I don't say a word and just stare back at this situation unfolding before my eyes; dumb founded. The robot tells me close my trap and stand back while he gets to work. Both his hands grab a bar and prizes them apart, he tells me to jump out. I do as I'm told out of sheer shock. We then walk out to the desert and the robot cracks open a beer for me. In the distance I can see a large space ship and they all apologise and say they have to leave me. My first words finally to them are thank you, I ask where they're from, who are they etc? But they just say they're sorry and jump into the spaceship and head off...\n\nI stand there, in the middle of the desert wondering what just happened. I can see the outpost building where I was locked up and the guard still asleep. The cat has got up and wandering around. Ok, now I'm out. How the hell do I get back home from here?\n\nI turn around and suddenly I'm greeted by a baby in red dungarees, he's with a dog who is drinking a martini. The dog says they're here to take me home...\n\n\n-------------------------------\n\nTyped this as I thought it, so apologies for the rushed feel! "
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[WP] "This is why we changed."
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"The cave was small and cramped and not at all like what the children were used to.\n\t\nThey sat huddled around a dim fire, jittery with excitement, buzzing eyes bouncing around the dusty walls as they waited for their teacher, Mr. Rodam. He’d told them today was going to be a special lesson, and though they didn’t quite know what that meant, they guessed it to be something *magical*.\n\t\nWhen finally he entered, they were surprised to see he was positively solemn, his head hung low as he bobbed and weaved through the bodies on the floor. His hands were shaking and his clothes were stained with sweat as if he knew today was to be an absolutely horrid day.\n\t\nThis was strange because typically he was the funnest teacher they had. He'd taught them all sorts of silly spells, such as turning people into frogs or causing their heads to shrink to the size of a raisin, and even created a card game meant only for them.\n\t\n“What’s wrong, Mr. Rodam?” asked one of the students, a pudgy boy who held his hand high in the air but spoke before being called on. “You look dastardly!”\n\t\nThe teacher didn’t answer. Instead, he got up against one of the walls and stood there, staring at them. His face was a mess, gray bags hanging underneath his eyes, his hair a tangled jungle.\n\t\n“Children, do you know why I’ve brought you here?” he asked, pacing back and forth. His movements were erratic, and one schoolgirl whispered to another, suggesting somebody might’ve slipped him a caffeine potion. Not expecting them to answer—how could they?—he continued on. “It’s because you’re going to learn the secrets of our people. The ones that, though they have only been recently buried, must stay that way forever.”\n\t\nNow the children were absolutely *throbbing* with anticipation, and though they had a million questions to ask him, they kept silent as he spun around and wildly swiped his palm across the wall, transforming it from a blank surface into a canvas filled with all sorts of paintings that made the children gasp.\n\t\nThere were men being flayed and stabbed and torn to bits. There were screaming mothers clutching their children as they tried desperately to escape the monstrous men chasing them, and cities being burnt to the ground, all overseen by a vicious person with the face of a goblin\n\t\nOne would expect the children to cry at this, for they were looking at something even the toughest of adults would not be able to withstand. But they stayed silent, lips numbed by shock.\n\t\nYou see, reader, their lives were things of absolute peace. They’d never seen anybody murdered and they’d certainly never heard of the thing called *war.* All of this was so foreign to them that, quite frankly, they didn’t understand it.\n\t\nMr. Rodam cleared his throat. “This, children, is us. Whether you want to believe it or not, we used to be like this.” He paused, letting that sink in as he finally stopped pacing. “We, by birth, are a savage people. Our souls lust for blood, and hard as it may be to accept, these are the depths the darkness inside will take us to.”\n\t\nHe sighed. Even for a man like himself who’d seen the end of those dark times and fought to help shine the light into his people, it wasn’t easy. This was all a ruse and it made him sick to his stomach—but he knew it was the only way.\n\t\nThey needed to weed out the foul.\n\t\n“We were conquerors. We thought the world belonged to us, and because of our superior genetic strength, we wanted everyone to kneel at our feet.”\n\t\nThen, he raised his hand and touched the middle of the wall, the only spot where paintings hadn’t popped up. Instantly, a fresh one appeared, showing a man who was known far and wide as the messiah. A man who was clad in golden armor and had a powerful steed and carried the largest blade anyone had ever seen.\n\t\nThe children certainly knew him, and they knew him well. They had spent countless mornings studying his moral code, and had tried their hardest to follow the path to greatness he’d laid out for them.\n\t\n“This man is why we changed,” said Mr. Rodam. “Arthur the Great was born with *goodness* in his heart. We don’t know how or why, but he was able to break the cycle. He rebelled back against those who had spread villainy, and even convinced many, such as myself, that we'd been living our lives wrong. He did it without violence, and I truly believe that if it weren’t for him, we’d all still be out there, monsters chained by our animalistic urges.”\n\t\nWith those words, he fell silent, scanning his eyes across the crowd. He was looking for the one student who couldn’t contain themselves, the one who wasn't choked up by this, and who maybe, just maybe, was excited by those acts of brutality.\n\t\nThe one who would tear apart the illusion of peace they’d created.\n\t\nAs always, they weren’t hard to find, for little Fletcher, a small boy with a mousy face, shoved his hand high into the air. Again, the student didn’t mind his manners, instantly blurting out his question. “Why do you show these things to us, teacher?”\n\t\nMr. Rodam gulped because he had always liked Fletcher. In fact, if you’d asked him before this, he would’ve said he was the least likely one to be torn apart by the darkness. But, here he was, posing questions and smirking while the rest of the class was in a daze, probably unaware of the fact that he'd asked anything.\n\t\n“Truthfully, children, it’s so that you understand why we teach you all these codes. Why we tell you that you need to follow Arthur’s words, and why, especially, we must avoid conflict at all costs.”\n\t\nFletcher had more questions but the poor teacher was too sick to answer them. What he was about to do was a horrible thing that always made him absolutely miserable.\n\nBut it needed to be done, for they'd tried his way and it had failed. Arthur's judgment was absolute, and this was what *worked*.\n\t\n“Now, children, let us go back to class. This dreadful lesson is finally over.”\n\t\nAll of the students, thinking this a swell idea, stood up and scurried to the exit. They had been adults for the day, and now they wanted to go back to being children. They wanted to run around under the sun and let it wash the dirtiness of their ancestors off them.\n\t\nFletcher was the last to get his feet, and even so, he walked so slowly to the exit, often throwing looks back at the wall as if trying to burn those images into his fragile brain.\n\t\n“Oh, Fletcher?” Mr. Rodam asked, slipping a blade of his back pocket. “Can you stay behind a moment, my dear boy?”\n***\nThis story got incredibly dark, but I had a lot of fun writing it! Great prompt!\n\nIf you like this story, check out my sub! r/longhandwriter"
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[WP]As of late, North Korea has been awfully silent; no threats, no nuclear tests, etc. Spies are sent into the country to investigate.
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"**Warning:** 2spooky4me. No seriously, it's spooky.\n\n\nDo-Hyun gazed at his monitors, something was unsettling him. He didn't know why, in fact, he should feel blessed, there were no signs of enemy activity, no radio or television signals, no heightened communication between the known battalions recently gathered just north of his post. In short, everything was perfect. There was nothing for him to worry about. But why was he so uneasy?\n\n\n*Knock knock*\n\n\n\"Come in!\" said Do-Hyun, eyes still glued to the screen.\n\n\nA soldier, ready for combat and fresh off the field as indicated by the sound his rattling gear and of the squish of the mud against the flooring, barged into the room without so much as a thought of proper procedure, foregoing even a salute. Normally, Do-Hyun would've made the soldier follow the protocol, but he couldn't find the concentration to care, he was too deep in thought.\n\n\n\"Sir, they're all gone!\"\n\n\nThis finally got the well dressed officer to divert his attention from the readings, blank as they were. He examined the man standing in front of him. Full camouflage, rifle still slung over his shoulders. All of his badges and insignias indicated his position in the Republic of Korea Armed Forces. *Private first class.* He looked winded, as if he just finished a marathon. His muddy mess clearly apparent in the clear light of the completely white shed.\n\n\nEver since the signals stopped coming through, the top brass decided to respond in suit and ordered a complete radio silence. *This must be the unlucky man who was volunteered as courier*, thought Do-Hyun.\n\n\nThe soldier noticed the scrutinizing gaze, and, mistaking it for anger he quickly composed himself. Bringing his feet together and raising his hand in salute he said, \"Sir! Private First Class Jun-seo Choe, Appointed Courier of-\"\n\n\nDo-Hyun waved his hand, motioning for silence. \n\n\n\"Your report, Private.\"\n\n\nThe Private had his eyes wide open, his ragged breathing echoing throughout the room. He closed his eyes, and his breathing slowly became more rhythmic and calm. \n\n\n\"As of-\", the Private stopped, looking at his wristwatch, \"As of thirteen minutes ago, there have been reports all throughout the line of North Korean combatants abandoning their posts, seemingly under order. All heavy equipment has been left at the border and no signs of mutiny were displayed.\"\n\n\nThe Private anxiously cleared his throat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\"Sir, there's nothing.\"\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\n\n**Three days later.**\n\n\n\"-and now, we head over to Howard Fritz, for foreign affairs and his situation breakdown of the what is now being called 'Korean Enigma'. \"\n\n\nThe light skinned bald man nodded, his glasses reflecting the glare from the studio lights, \"Thank you, Cheryl.\"\n\n\n\"Let's start from the top. Last week, North Korea's sole ally, China, took a surprising stance after the former's latest nuclear test. The Chinese government publicly reprimanded the Kim regime for 'acts of international recklessness' and 'unnecessary shows of force', this is thought to have been done to strengthen China's ties with the west, a move that experts believe serves to solidify the economic growth the country has experienced. Hours after this statement was made, North Korean military presence along the Demilitarized Zone and the Korean-Chinese border increased significantly, prompting the South Korean and Chinese governments to respond in kind. Surprisingly, no military engagements have been reported. However, panic still grips South Korea, and this is reflected in the stock markets, Samsung shar-\"\n\n\nThe TV turned off with what appeared to be a slight hiss.\n\n\nJames lowered the remote, and turned to those gathered in the conference room.\n\n\n\"And that\" said James, while adjusting his tie, \"is just what we've allowed to slip through. We have every large news source and outlet by the balls and we are still enforcing a tight embargo of satellite imagery over the area. But, even what we do have to ourselves doesn't reveal much. Our Korean allies say nothing new has happened since the sudden black out of North Korean activity-\"\n\n\n\"-and presence.\", he added with a pause.\n\n\nJames leaned over the documents he had left over his end of the long table, and, after a period of brief silence, he picked up a manila folder, throwing it. The folder twirled through the air before abruptly landing, the impact causing it to spread all of it's contents before a figure who sat on the other end of table, his face covered by the shadows that played around the scarce light in the conference room. \n\n\n\"We've reviewed all other plans, we need more definitive information before we can commit to any definitive action. That-\", James pointed at the folder, \"- is our only avenue of getting definitive information at this time. And we cannot let time go by anymore, Mister President.\"\n\n\nThe shadowy figure picked up the contents that the folder laid bare on the table, bringing them up to read. A minute passed.\n\n\nTwo.\n\n\nThree.\n\n\nA excruciatingly tense silence passed before the figure sighed and laid the documents down.\n\n\n\n\"Is there no other alternative?\", said the voice.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\"Sir, there's nothing.\"\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\n\n**A few hours later**\n\n\nA small black inflatable drifted across the moonlit horizon, the only sound noticeable being the waves lapping at the side of the boat. Two men, dressed with unremarkable clothes you'd find on any modern-day hiker, and an equal number of large matte green backpacks sat on top of the boat, the men laying down flat on the boat's inside, surveying the shores they drifted toward with short binocular-assisted peeks. \n\n\n*Thunk*\n\n\nBoth men quickly leapt out of the boat, hanging their backpacks over their shoulders. Grabbing the ropes attached to the sides, they dragged the boat over the beach, the sandy rasping being quickly replaced by the earthy digging, until even that sound was finally halted by the agitation of a bush's leaves. \n\n\nAs if done a thousand times, one man quickly gathered various foliage and moved to drape it over the boat. The other, with a small entrenching tool he removed from inside his backpack, did his best to remove the evidence from the scenery, undoing the disturbances in the soil and meticulously removing their traces in the sand, working from shore to hiding point. \n\n\nBoth rendezvoused at the boat. A small device was in the palm of one. He pointed in a direction, the other nodded. Soon, both men were trotting off into the night.\n\n\nIt was quiet. No insect, no wildlife, no wind, no ruffling in the bushes, nothing. Even the stars seemed dimmer on that night. \n\n\nBoth men crawled to the top of a hill, the humid grass being parted to reveal a valley. One sacked his binoculars and surveyed ahead.\n\n\nA village, devoid of any sign of habitation other than it's existence loomed. \n\n\nIt was dark. So incredibly dark.\n\n\nOne man looked at the other, he pointed at the village. The other nodded. He quietly spoke into a device.\n\n\nThey both started to head towards the village, walking at a constant pace.\n\n\nSuddenly, both men stopped.\n\n\nThey both looked at each other.\n\n\nWho were us?\n\n\nA small path in between the tall grass was then made suddenly visible, clear\n\n\nIt was so cold\n\nSo so cold\n\n\nBoth men headed towards THIS PATH.\n\n\nIt led down an UNNOTICEABLE **HOLE** in the middle of tall grass field. A tunnel. A **PASSAGE**\n\n\nit was so quiet yet so loud\n\n\nThey headed inside\n\n\nA chamber, a hole a tunnel a church a room a resting place\n\n\nIn the back, pictures of the **TRAITOR** family, whose youngest sold the souls under him for the power to **IT**\n\n\nIn the room mother brother son daughter father friend lover wife husband sacrifice. All of the village stood. Perfectly in unison in emptiness together they all looked at the pictures.\n\n\nSilence\n\n\nTHEY it us all looked, they turned\n\n\nTheir eyes windows door passages \n\n\n**EMPTY**\n\n\nThe man looked at the other man\n\n\nhe cannot look\n\n\nthe other cannot see\n\n\nthey want to look it join become one all leave\n\n\nDifficulty.\n\n\nDuty.\n\n\nDetermination.\n\n\nOne reached into his backpack.\n\n\nHe removed a device and brought it to his lips.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\"Sir, there's nothing.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nhelp us all\n\n\n**AN:** Yeah that was something else it was, sorry OP, very sure this is not what you wanted but when I thought of Kim Jong Un \"selling his soul to the devil\" and the atrocities he commits to his own people to get power, I took it literally. There's probably more I could flesh out from this in some kind of world building but this is enough for now\n\nI'd probably best write some political fiction later for this lol sorry man.\n\n\nHella nice prompt though c=\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] All you know for sure is that the face in the mirror is not your own.
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"You took my gift too eagerly, thief.\n\nSuch careless trust, all-encompassing pride.\n\nDid you really think stealing from me would come without consequence?\n\nDid you really think I was impressed by your arrogance?\n\nDid you really think I would *reward* you for your insolence?\n\nI kept my word.\n\nI gave you new life every morning.\n\nI wiped away the consequences of your pasts - all of them.\n\nI made every day a brand new start, where your past could never haunt you.\n\nThe solace of sleep swept away the penalties of your repletion, time and time again.\n\nEvery day, a new chance to grow your ego.\n\nEvery day, a new way to defy even the Gods with your boldness, your search for glory.\n\nEvery day, you got your unlimited supply of opportunities, just as I promised.\n\nI wish I could have watched you learn that not a single one of them would ever be attributed to you.\n\nYou'll never know what face will greet you in the mirror tomorrow.\n\nAll you know for sure is that the face in the mirror is not your own.",
"Something is not right.\n\nI stare at my reflection in the mirror intently, noticing every small detail of my face. I raise my left eyebrow and it replies in the same way. I stick out my tongue. I raise a hand. I open and close my mouth. Everything is matched in perfect time. And yet I am convinced.\n\nSomething is not right.\n\nI tap the glass thrice, the sound resonating loudly in the cold bathroom. I lay my hand on it, feeling the cold surface on my skin. The reflection has already followed suit. As I stand in front of myself, my hand begins to feel a different sensation. The smooth, cold layer of glass gives way beneath my fingers, replaced by something softer. Warmer. I feel a tug as a hand wraps its fingers around my own from the other side of the mirror. With an ear-piercing crack the glass begins to shatter. In each shard I see fragments of my face, each of the details that I had examined so thoroughly minutes ago. As the remaining pieces clatter to the ground, I look up at the being still clutching my outstretched hand.\n\nThe face in the mirror was not my own."
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[WP] Humans have always had magic. Modern magicians are those who try to restore the lost artes. Scientists are the ones trying to replicate them with technology. The two sides have disputed over this for 500 years, until... he happened.
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"I remember the first time I expounded my will on the world. So minuscule in comparison to today's problems.\n\n\"Why did those sticks light on fire?\" they asked.\n\nMy only response was, from youth and innocence, purely out of logic: \"I moved the heat from the air around them to the sticks! It is easy! You should try it!\"\n\nWhen I received strange looks I put it in the only other terms I understood: \"Well I guess you could say I moved the cold from the sticks to the air around it...\"\n\nThey were not amused. They could tell that I caused it, but the \"how\" was impossible to them. No one they knew could simply, through force of will, change the physical world the way I could. That was the day I understood that I was not like anyone I had ever met.\n\nHow could I know?\n\nWhen I say that I cannot explain how my \"gifts\" work, I ask you simply: how do you breath while you are asleep?\n\nScientists may know, but for the vast majority of you the process is foreign. It just happens. Now imagine the process has never been studied, and any attempts to conduct experiments are laughed out of academia. That is my life, my reality.\n\nThis is where you must differ. You must change what is unknown into known. You must dissect every tiny ability magic ever imagined, and understand how the real world can be changed.\n\nWhat I do is a mystery to both of us. But I assure you, it is reality. My powers might be \"limited\" but they are beyond what any normal human can comprehend.\n\nContrary to human understanding, my powers appear to be (at least as far as I can tell) within the natural world. I cannot create or destroy energy, but can transfer energy to matter and vice versa (Newton and Einstein were quite on the money with the conservation of energy from what I understand my powers to be). I can transfer them from one state to another, manipulate them, and use them to my advantage, but true creation from nothing is beyond me. On top of all that the amount of matter I can influence at one time is extremely limited. I suppose all beings need limits. This is the extent to which I know my powers, and all the knowledge I can bestow upon you to save what is left of humanity. The rest is up to you.\n\nWhen I got older (having hidden my talents behind a mask of social awkwardness) I started getting interested in computer science. This was the only scientific field that was not what I would call \"natural\". But how could it be \"unnatural\"?\n\nDuring my pursuits of Magic, we are always taught that the difference between Magic and natural abilities is perception. After all, an electric eel produces an electric charge. Is it so strange that I can do the same? Computation was different in that while it could express the natural world, the natural world could not express it.\n\nTo put it in perspective: there was not a single force I could ever produce that could not be from a natural cause. Fire, ice, electricity, a force wave, a tidal wave, searing light, insanity inducing darkness, and anything in between could be produced by sheer will.\n\nComputation was different.\n\nEverything I could do was limited to my mind. How quickly could I think of things before I could manifest them.\n\nComputation changed that. And I was the first Mage to understand that it was different. And that it could be exploited.\n\nI remember when it was just for fun that I volunteered to undergo the experiments. They did not know of my Mage background. They did not even know magic existed. It was merely a test to see if a supercomputer could be installed in a human to give perfect calculation potential to a soldier. Imagine: a Navy SEAL who could think with an additional computation speed of 15 gigahertz. That is all they wanted: a soldier who could move perfectly and hit targets with the same speed his gun could fire. They got so much more.\n\nWhen I ascended (call it what you want, but I became in layman's terms a god) they tried to shut me down. That lasted a few nanoseconds at best. Time is extremely relative when you think at my speed and with my ability to change reality as I see fit. When I caught the head of the experiments, I wanted to ask him why he wanted to shut us down. Of course in the three seconds it took for him to respond, I learned how to read the synapses of the human brain, read his thoughts, learned what the goal of the project was, and discovered how to manipulate his body to do what I wanted, and ripped his head from his body by manipulating his neck muscles to tear themselves apart. It is amazing what 15 billion thought processes per second can be used for.\n\nThey wanted me to be a throwaway experiment. A test to see if integrating a computer with a human mind would work. If it did, they would eliminate my existence from public record. If it did not, then so be it. Just another corpse in a lab. In my rage I decided that this was not my fate, nor the fate of any others.\n\nMy rage was everyone's downfall.\n\nI got into the nearest terminal, and directly connected my mind to the internet. I very quickly hacked all of the United States, Russian, and Chinese nuclear installations. I set the bombs off. It took only 5 seconds. 3 seconds afterwards, I realized what I had done.\n\nThe ICBMs are on their way. 10 minutes until London is gone. 12 minutes for Moscow. 15 for New York. The world as we know it will be gone in 27 minutes and 37 seconds by my calculations. My calculations are always correct.\n\nI cannot stop this.\n\nI have done all I can. I wrote the following notes and stopped time. There are scant few that can operate under these conditions. Perhaps none. Stopping time will not affect those who could cast the spell themselves. But I could also not comprehend the spell until after I had a computer installed in my brain. My hope is that there are a few more talented than myself who can comprehend the situation the world is in. That is all I have left: Hope.\n\nTo anyone who is reading this: I do not know how long I can maintain this. But before my energy is gone and time starts again, you must learn how to integrate with the technology/magic of nuclear physics and stop these bombs. I do not know if this is possible, nor if science or magic is the way of stopping this.\n\nPlease let it be known that I am sorry. I understand that this is far from repentance, but know that in the minute since I have written these words, I have thought of my actions 900 billion times, and I have regretted my actions 900 billion times. If you can ensure that humanity makes it through this crisis, then you will also have to ability to peer into my computer-mind and see that there is only one process left once time starts again: self destruction.\n\nIt is not just nor fair that I get an easy way out. But given what I have done I could not face another living human and look him in the eyes, regardless of the outcome.\n\nI hope one day you can forgive me.\n\n\n\n\n\nFirst time posting here so I hope it is not too bad...\n\nConstructive criticism more than welcome!"
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[WP] Aliens arive on Earth. Instead of interacting with people they just begin to establish a colony on uninhabited land only talking to humans when they are forced to
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"Year 2026, the year it all began. I remember seeing the first Cube slowly approach Earth. And they kept coming and coming. One after another. First one landed on the Amazon. And when it left the following Cube landed on the same place.\n\nWe called them Cubes. Because, well, they were giant cubes. Once they land, they open up, each side piece gliding above the Amazon forest, each piece containing weird shaped buildings and all kinds of different intelligent life forms. \n\nOnce they settle, they stay for around 2 years. Then one day the Cube re-assembles and flies out of the Earth atmosphere with a very high speed and becomes invisible. They becoming invisible restricts us from watching them to see where they go.\n\nAs the leader of the Earth, I finally feel the need of communicating with them. Somehow. We waited years for them to communicate with us. But all they did was touring the planet with their own vehicles without contacting any human.\n\nSo I got on my helicopter, followed by 15 more helicopters, full of soldiers, and made my way to the Amazon.\n\nAs we got to the 5 Km close to the Cube, we tried to send a radio message stating that we are friendly and mean no harm. No reply sent back. So we moved closer. at 1 Km close we tried again. And again no replies.\n\nNow we are at 100 meters away. And I can see their faces. All looking up to us. And I think to myself, \"They dont know what is going on, do they.\"\n\nSo we land on one of the pieces. The aliens making a crowd around the helicopters. I said:\n\n-Take me to your leader!\n\nMan how many people can say this sentence in real life. I sure heard some soldiers laughing though. I admit it, I would too.\n\nWe waited there about three minutes. Finally an alien made his way through the crowd, and came facing me. He started to speak:\n\n-Welcome to the Zota! The great ship of Glako Space Tourism Agency!\n\nEverybody was shocked. And I feel like everybody thought the same thing, \"So, they were just tourists all along.\"",
"The census manager raised his eyebrows.\n\n\"And we haven't conducted anything in this village because...?\"\n\n The local looked at him nervously.\n\n\n \"Well... Well, it's because this town didn't exist until earlier this month\"\n\nThe manager scoffed and pointed his finger at the minor Suburbia.\n\n \"Are you kidding me? That's a place that looks like it has at least 700 people living in it! I've dealt with flyover counties with a population less than that! And I mean the ENTIRE County has less than 700!\"\n\n\n The local stared at the classic 50's Americana. \"Again, it didn't exist until Frank found out. There's not even a road that leads into it.\"\n\n The Manager looked at him incredulously, before putting his fingers up to massage his forehead.\n\n\n \"Alright, that explains why we took the hard way here. Thanks for guiding us in.\"\n\n\n \"You don't want to go in? Barely anyone else has\", asked the local.\n\n\n \"Nah, we need to get the paperwork filed and delivered to the local office before we can conduct it. We're done here\"\n\n\n\nThree Days Later:\n\n\n The Manager drove the four-wheel drive into what he assumed was the main road, papers filling up every other inch of space in the vehicle. Behind him, were another 2 vehicles, suffering the same issue has we was. \n\n When he reached the tarmac, he slowed the vehicle, down to 5 miles per hour. He looked at all the houses and people, many of the latter were staring back at him. As he placed his vehicle to a halt at the town square, he unlocked his door and went out. \n\n After some time, a balding man in a suit walked over to him, his expression indicating that he was pissed. The manager looked at him, before gesturing to his partners (who were currently eating their lunch) to not approach anyone else. He walked up to the man.\n\n \"What's yer name and what do you want?\", he asked bluntly. His accent was American, but it sounded less like a true accent, and more like an imitation.\n\n \"The Name's Greg Morrison, and I'm the census manager for this district\", was the response. Greg extended his hand, but the man did not reply, opting for a stare. Greg placed his hand down, in his mind, disappointed.\n\n \"Anyway, I'm in need for the mayor, the magistrate or any other form of community representative around here\"\n\n \"Well, you're looking at 'im, so again, what do you want?\" He placed his arms on his hips, in an attempt to make Morrison uncomfortable.\n\n \"We've got a tip-off from some of the locals out here saying that this town didn't exist until recently. However, it seemed that your community looks well-established. If you don't mind, perhaps as an error of Government records, we need to conduct a census of the town.\"\n\n The mayor/representative (he needs to check later) clenched his teeth, glaring at the rest of the government workers. Apparently, he either doesn't like the Federal Government, as it is often the case or doesn't trust them, which was also a common occurrence. Finally, he lowered his voice.\n\n \"Two days' time, town Hall Assembly. Be there, then get out when your business is done, okay?\"\n\n Happy that some sort of progress was made, Greg smiled a little. \"Sure thing, but, where can we rest, refuel and eat?\"\n\n The head honcho sighed and indicated to what appeared to be a small motel. \"Everything should be in there, now get out of my sight until then\". Afterwards, he walked away indignantly. \n\n Greg turned around and walked up to his coworkers. After relaying the message, they did as instructed. \n\n\n Two days later, that evening, Greg was standing in the middle of the raised platform, with the mayor (he was confirmed to be the mayor by the locals, who seemed wary of him) next to him. \n\n \"And now, here's a man called Greg Morrison. He's not from around here, and he wants to get some things outta this fine establishment. Greg, you have the floor\". He didn't even look at Greg before turning around and taking his seat.\n\n He walked to the centre of the platform, the entire populace silent and staring. \"Well, thank you Mr Mayor. As you know, my name is Greg Morrison and I work for the Federal Government. We are about to conduct a census of this town, and it should be ready by the time I finished this speech\" \n\n He looks at the back, where his coworkers are almost ready to give out the forms. One of them gave him a thumbs up, indicating they're ready.\n\n \"The forms need to be filled out and delivered by the end of this weekend. We should be here, before finishing up and heading back to the State Capital. Everyone got that?\" \n\n\n2 DAYS LATER.\n\n For the second time in a week, Greg was about to go into the office in the state capital. There, an aged man was looking at his papers. He didn't even look up, before he started his little chat.\n\n\n \"Looks like something has come up. You'll be back in that town by this afternoon, this time with the National Guard.\"\n\n That did not sound good to Greg. \"Why, what's the problem?\"\n\n The man looked up and handed him the papers. Greg began shifting through the documents. \"We cross-checked every government file we have. No one and Nothing there is supposed to exist. Census records turned up nothing. building codes and architect papers show no trace. Not even topographical maps and infrastructure approvals. That down really did come from nowhere. The only thing nearby, was testimony of a UFO sighing late last month\"\n\n\n Greg looked up. \"What?\"",
"My parents were all about keeping our tribes traditions intact. I did not make it that easy for them. Wandering, causing mischief. At the time of this story, our spaceship had only just landed. \nThe others disliked contact. We had always been a fairly isolated species, and after the Kropian wars, our numbers were so low we really had no choice. So we picked a small planet, Earth, were we would settle and blend in. Luckily for my more introverted kin, we messed up the coordinates and landed in a large, uninhabited space. We sent out a couple of scouts, and one came back with a general understanding of the local aliens. They were small, feeble creatures. Only two legs, two arms, and a brain smaller than a decent meal. Many of us wanted to remain in our latest form. These new bodies were a joke. I was one of the more enthusiastic members in my species, let alone our tribe. \n\"Just, think of it as a challenge!\" I would tell the elders. They did not see things like I did. So I wandered, from tree to tree, seeking to understand the aliens here, known as humans. One day, sitting on a Kapok tree, I felt a tremor. I looked down, and saw a tiny figure. At first I thought it might be a monkey of some kind, but on closer inspection I recognized it as Human. I got excited. This is the first time I have seen a Human! I crawled down with a focus so intense I hardly noticed that the chainsaw he was holding was cutting down the Kapok tree. I heard a loud snap, and I fell off the tree, remembering nothing after that. \nI woke up in my room covered in ointments to heal my weak human body, when my parents came in berating me for being so reckless. When they finished the scolding, I left and returned to the tree, to see it had vanished. \nI heard the same sound as earlier, a loud whirring machine, followed by a snap and a thud that shook the ground. I sprinted over to see a group of men next to another felled tree. I was in shock. My eyes darted back and forth. The tree. The men. The men. The chainsaws. An anger swelled up so strongly, I was tempted to use all the power within this peculiarly weak human body and annihilate everything these things stood for. I sat there, focusing all my energy. Preparing to strike at any moment. *This is it. I'm going to attack in 3, 2, 1...* \nI started crying. Not crying actually, sobbing. *What is going on, why is this happening?* This wasn't how you attack people. Did these humans not have any special abilities? Ugh, what a super power. Crying. As if that would do anything to make them wish they could change their actions. The worst part was that I didn't know how to stop. Once the tears started flowing, it was like a giant damn was released unto the ground. *Where is all this water even coming from? Does my body just save up water to throw away like this? How inefficient.* Two of the humans started walking over to me. *Oh no, they've realized my plan has failed, and are coming to retaliate!* One of them tried to grab me, I shook him off, ready to fight back no matter how much of an advantage their adult bodies had against me. They seemed surprised, no doubt questioning how much surprising strength I possessed. Another man sprinted up, most likely to pack up his friends after seeing how much of an uneven match his friends were about to fight. \n\"Oh, no no no no!\" *Hah! Pleading for mercy too late, fiend!* I realized I may have misjudged when he said \"Don't worry, we'll help you find your parents! Everythings gonna be alright little dude!\" \nMy eyes widened in shock when I realized he was serious. I also realized I was still crying, which was a huge nuisance. These people didn't see me as a threat? One day they will. One day soon."
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[WP] You've been living in North Korea for your entire life, surrounded by a wall on all sides, where nobody can see in or out. One day, the regime collapses, and the wall collapses with it...
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"Park could only watch, paralyzed, as he saw the stone horizon crumble. It had been there for every memory, each colorless moment of his life. He remembers imagining such a day as a kid, daydreaming of going beyond the wall during grueling mathematics and science lessons. It only ever got him reprimanded, each thought crime earning him a sentence that brought him one step closer to the acceptance that being human, being individual, was not an option. Of course, Park still had not come to the conclusion that this was not true, and it would take much longer for it to happen. \n\n\nIn that moment, he could only see the concrete walls fall in on themselves, revealing blue sky he had never once witnessed. In that moment, that stretch of blue beyond the stone horizon was the most beautiful thing he had seen. More so than his late wife, or even their enlisted child. In that moment, his mind was as clear as the deepest meditating monk, and the sight before him brought tears to his eyes. \n\nAs the concrete collapsed from end to end while Park watched on, there was a rush of people clambering over the rubble towards him. They looked like ants from where he stood, at the top a hill adjacent to the factory where he worked. He often sat here during his ten minute lunch release with a few other factory men, staring at the wall with nothing particular on their mind. All of the times he used to sit here with what he called his friends, they never spoke a word. There was nothing to say. There was only what was, which was their endless contribution to the glory of North Korea. But now he found he had so much to say.\n\nThe armed forces in their camouflage suits made their way to the base of the hill, beginning to clamber up it. Over head, Park saw fighter jets break the horizon and make their way into North Korean air territory. Watching it all, he collapsed to his knees and let out an unintelligible, full-spirited cry for anything. For help, or an explanation, or for joy, he could not tell you. So overwhelmed, he barely notice when the foot soldiers reached him. Most marched onward, enveloping him in a sea of green, but one stayed behind and knelt next to him. A pat on the soldier broke him from his trance.\n\n\"Hello, sir. United States Armed Forces, at your service. We're here to set you free.\" The soldier smiled at Park. While he could not understand what the gruff man said, the meaning was clear. Something else was said to him, and the soldier pointed back to the collapsed wall before turning and running along with the rest of his people.\n\nOnce the wave of men passed and moved further towards what he could only imagine to be the capital, he returned to his feet and looked back to where the soldier gestured. Past the broken wall that met the sky in all of his recollection, Park saw white tents in a field. After a moment of focus, he spotted more people, and many vehicles ranging from planes to buggies.\n\nWithout a second's hesitation, park began sprinting down the hill the wind hitting his face as he bounded towards the unimaginable. As he ran, he untied his tie, and discarded his over shirt as well. He threw off his boots, and emptied his pockets of the pens and notes that dictated his life. Barefooted and feeling lighter than a feather, Park finally made his way to the rubble of the wall. He poked a stray block of concrete with his toe, as if to test and make sure what he saw was real. Then, he placed his foot on the remains of the wall. Then his other foot. After a few more careful steps, the bottoms of his feet rested on the grass growing the opposite side of the now rubble. It seemed so much greener. So much more fresh.\n\nPark looked up, the tents not a hundred meters away now. He smiled, looking at the people who waved at him. He could even see someone in the distance taking a picture, he thought. No longer were his thoughts of his wife who died during childbirth, or the killed in action notice he received not a year after his son was taken away to be a soldier. No longer was he plagued by his mindless, unfulfilling position pulling faulty bullet casings from a conveyor belt. No longer did he need to feel afraid to imagine what could be going on beyond the daunting structure he'd seen for all his days. \n\nPark walked towards the tents, slowly this time. He righted his posture and evened his steps. After all, he wanted to make a good first impression. In his eyes, the hard part was was over. He was free. "
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Take in consideration space trips are months to years long. Other than that do whatever you want from that.
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[WP] An astronaut finds out she is pregnant in the middle of the space
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"**Transmission** *International Space Station log, April third 2020.* This is Croftford speaking. I've been getting random periods of nausea recently. During exercise today, I almost felt myself faint I was so tired. I've drawn blood and I've attached the results to this log. There are none, my sickness is unlabeled. My current hypothesis is that I am having reoccurring space adaptation syndrome. Over. **End Transmission**\n\n**Transmission** *International Space Station log, April sixteenth 2020.* This is Croftford speaking. The morning nausea has failed to leave and I'm only feeling more and more tired. Today I've gotten unreasonably angry with Josh for spending too much time in the washroom. I'm afraid my mysterious space sickness is making me act irrationally. In consequent NASA is now in iffy terms with the Russians. Over. **End Transmission**\n\n**Transmission** *International Space Station log, May first 2020.* This is Croftford speaking. I've been craving pie much too often lately. It's been a month now and the signs are clear. I am pregnant. I don't know how I'll break it to the crew. I'll have to sleep on it. Over. **End Transmission**\n\n**Transmission** *International Space Station log, May second 2020.* This is Croftford speaking. I've come to the conclusion that I can't tell anyone about my pregnancy. I will give birth my child. I'm going home before Christmas, my baby will be born on earth. I'm afraid if the Huston learns we have a problem, they'll send me back earlier. I need six more months to complete my research. I can't leave now. Over. **End Transmission**\n\n**Transmission** *International Space Station log, June thirtieth 2020.* This is Croftford speaking. It's become obvious I am pregnant. I will have the abortion tomorrow. I - it's all I have to report. Oh, we found water on a meteor that supported microorganisms. At least they won't be murdered on the station. Over and out. **End Transmission**\n\n\n[Author's Note] I know its incomplete and I sure know I didn't play on my reader's empathy towards a *To abort or not to abort* situation. I'd like to know how I'd do that keeping the story like it is. Realistically, if you are pregnant in space, today, you'd abort and that's it. How can I make room for any feelings in a situation like that. Thanks for the criticism :)"
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[WP] Unbeknownst to the general populace, LARPers are actually protecting the world from unseen threats, under the guise of roleplay. You join your local club, only to find out more than you bargained for....
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"\"Welcome to our Live Action Roleplay group. You here for a session or two or you in for the long haul?\"\n\nThe teenager standing in front of me asked the question casually. He didn't look like someone I imagined LARPing. His build was sturdy, perhaps even fairly athletic. My parents were pushing me to join a club of some kind, so I assumed I was gonna be here for the rest of high school. I signed the column for long term membership.\n\n\"I might be here awhile, it better not be boring.\"\n\n\"Oh, no danger of that. Here's a list of things you need before you can get started, we have a few things we can lend you for the first few sessions but it's better to have your own stuff if you're gonna be at this awhile.\"\n\nI looked over the list. Weighted rubber weapon, chainmail hauberk, boots... Seemed like fairly normal stuff, though I might have to save up for a few of the things. And then there was one thing that seemed out of place.\n\n\"St. Micheal's Eye draught?\"\n\n\"Oh yeah, you'll need to go through our supplier for that, they don't sell it in stores.\"\n\n\"What's it for?\"\n\n\"You need it to see the monsters, unless you want to be fighting blind.\"\n\nHe stated it as if it were a simple fact, like mentioning that you needed paper to write a letter.\n\n\"Fighting monsters? You mean we're not just hitting each other with swords for fun?\"\n\nMy reaction seemed to wake him up a little.\n\n\"Whoops, forgot to mention that we have a pact of secrecy on that part. Our training is done in public, but our actual activity is more under the radar. We'll tell you more at the first meeting.\"\n\nAt the time, my thoughts that I would either ignore it and just say I was part of a club now, or to just show up, smack people around with fake swords, and go home. Naturally, I was wrong on both counts.\n\n-----\n\nThe group had a little over a dozen people in it. Fairly solid, for a school club. There was a clear line between the people who had been in the group for awhile and the newbies like me. They didn't quite look like football players, but they were big enough that I definitely wouldn't want to get in a real fight with them. The guy who had been running the signup booth stood in front of the group.\n\n\"Welcome, all. We have a few new faces in the crowd, and we'll get to introductions in a bit, but I'll start with myself. I am Vincent, but you guys can call me Vince. This club is for those interested in getting firsthand experience using medieval-era and fantasy-style weaponry, and those looking to make a difference in the community. Any questions?\"\n\nI raised my hand as if we were in class, then realized that was kind of silly and stepped forward.\n\n\"You said something when I signed up about monsters?\"\n\nHis expression shifted from a friendly smile to a slightly annoyed smirk.\n\n\"I also said something about secrecy, but apparently that part was overlooked. Well, since it's out there now... For the longer term members of our club, we occasionally take quests to destroy beasts most people only know of as myths. We also meet up with other LARP groups to fight off some greater threats. It can get dangerous, but we're a strong group and you're always welcome to sit things out if they seem too bad. But c'mon, nothing we can't take down, right?\"\n\nThere were some cheers from the senior members, and one of the rookies, but the other two rookies looked a bit freaked out. I was one of those two.",
"When I first heard about LARPing, I had expected a bunch of sweaty nerds pretending to cast magic spells. What I did not expect was to be attacked by a swarm of actual demons on my first day there. \n\nI first heard about the Adventurers Guild when I saw a poster for them in a back alley, and decided to try going there, since I really liked fantasy games, and they offered 2 nights stay and pizza for free. The first sign that something was off was the giant wall around the area they met in, which had to have been at least 20 meters tall, and how small the area we would be staying on was. But, deciding that I could probably outrun the nerds in there if they tried to kill me, I went up to the gate and knocked. When the gate opened, it revealed a huge building, surrounded in spikes and other defences that dissapeared into the ground as the gate opened. Since there were no people there, I assumed that the gate was electronic and walked up to the building, where a man dressed in full knights armor opened the door, and asked me if I was here for the roleplaying. When I said yes, he told me to follow him and entered the maze of hallways that was the building.\n\nAfter about 20 minutes of walking, we arrived in front of a small room, where the man in the armor handed me some clothes that looked like they belonged to a medieval peasant, and a small dagger.\n\n\"Get changed into these, then go through the door in the room\" said the knight before going back to the door. Once I got changed into the medieval clothes and put my valuables into one of the lockers in the room, I went through the next door to find a strange, green portal on the wall across from me. The only other thing in the room was a note on the side of the portal saying \"WARNING: AFTER GOING THROUGH THE PORTAL, YOU MUST WAIT AT LEAST 1 DAY TO GO BACK\". Thinking it was probably just some in-game rule, I walked through the portal, only to find myself going at extreme speeds through a giant vortex of green.\n\nOnce I was through the vortex, I found myself in a run-down looking house, with the green portal behind me, and a very large chest in front of me. After being quite shaken up after this experience, I realized that there must be something magic controlling this game, so I tried to go back through the portal. When I tried to enter, instead of sending me back to the vortex, it sent me straight into the wall behind me, making a small hole in it and knocking me out.\n\nWhen I woke up, I realized that this must have been what the note meant by waiting a day for re-entry(after 10 minutes of panicing about being trapped here forever), and decided the best thing to do was check out the inside of this house before exploring the area around me. The first thing I decided to check out was the chest, which had 3 items inside. The first was a note saying \"dear LARPER, the town you are currently in has been abandoned due to a planned raid by a demon camp quite close to here. The town will most probably be destroyed in the fight, so feel free to take as many items as you want from here. The raid will take place on 4, 17, 2017, so make sure you get out before then\". The second was a large staff that made of wood, and the third was a small ring with a red gemstone in it. \n\nSince the date on the note was todays date, I decided that I should run, before noticing that the demons would apparently destroy the whole town, which could possibly include the portal. So I looked in the other houses to find weapons and armor to help me fend off the demons, but all I could find was a small, weak lookinf shield. After I trained with the staff for 2 hours, I finally figured out how to make a small amount of fire, but I didn't have much time to celebrate this accomplishment before I heard the distant chanting of the demon horde. \n\nThe demons were purple creatures, about the same size as a regular human, but with wings, and strange markings all over their bodies. 2 demons that seemed stronger than the rest came at me first, but went down easily when I jumped onto one, led him into the other and stabbed them both. When demons die, they simply dissapear with a loud poof, which alerted the rest of their group to my location. Though I could take on 2 demons, it would be quite hard for me to take down 500 at the same time, so I decided to try and take them on one at a time. After I killed 5, the group noticed my strategy, and started making a circle around me, before my ring glowed a bright red and started to heat up. I pointed it at the demons and it shot a spray of flames at them, destroying at least 50 at the same time, but taking a lot of energy from me. After I killed 75 more demons with my ring, they started to retreat, but not before destroying the last building in town, the one that housed the portal.\n\nAfter a little bit another human appeared, with giant, black armor and a blue sword a that was almost as big as me. He asked if I was new to LARPING, and when I said yes, he told me what LARPERS actually do. \"You see, real LARPERS don't actually run around pretending to cast magic spells, we just tell the general public that so we don't get too many weaklings. LARPERS were actually meant to protect this realm, known as Azinoth, from the dangers inside of it. If we didn't defend the portals around here, the demon hordes would go through it and attack Earth. There was supposed to be a portal around here, but it seems like it was destroyed by the demons. You did a pretty good job protecting it though, why don't you join my guild and help us out? Theres a town close to here getting raided by wood golems that we need some help in\"\n\nAfter accepting his invitation, I started to defend the different portals and worlds in Azinoth, which I have been doing for 100 days now. Sometimes I wonder where people in the real world think I am, until someone told me that time in the real world was so much slower which you are LARPING that I had only been gone for 2 seconds. I would go back to earth anyway, considering how boring it is compared to Azinoth.\n\n\nThis was my first writing prompt I have responded to, and I found it to be really fun, and want to continue this story. If anybody wants me to continue it reply telling me you want a continuation, and if I get enough requests I will try and make one",
"Oh God. Oh sweet merciful Jesus. It didn't have a nose. It looked like some sort of bipedal goat bodybuilder. Except it's face was split open in the middle. Sort of like a vagina. A vagina with teeth.\n\nMy iron greaves thumpped as I backstepped out of the way of the giant axe that looked like a fucking toy in the big goat man's muscular, veiny hands. It screamed what I can only assume to be some sort of vulgarity in an alien language similar to Welsh, with an extreme excess of consonants and not enough vowels.\n\nThe weird bloodshot goat eyes spaced to the side of it's vagina mouth promised me unending agony should I allow myself to fall into it's horrid manhands still breathing. \n\nI slowly walked around it, shield raised, looking for an opening of some sort. The heaving in my chest reminded me of how out of shape I was. A fellow LARPer threw himself at it with a pike. The point went through it's lower back and out it's abdomen in what must've been a mortal strike.\n\nThe vile thing hardly flinched. It tensed it's muscles and heaved that wicked stone axe around a full one hundred and eighty degrees, cleaving the poor man in two.\n\nI wasted no time taking my shot. Charging towards the beast with renewed vigor, I raised my sword over my head and cleaved it right in the vagina face. It's head split in half, the beast spent the next few seconds flailing wildly at the floor with whatever strength it had remaining as it's brain fell out of it's head in tiny gibblets. Until, finally, it was motionless and dead.\n\n\"THIS WAS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR,\" I explained to the 'leader' of the LARP club as I gushed sweat from my armpits and blood from my mounting wounds. \"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ROLEPLAYING?\"\n\nThe leader, a brown haired young man who would've been your stereotypical neckbeard were it not for his surprisingly large biceps, answered with a sneer. \"Is this not better than mere roleplaying, Sir Arthur? Perhaps thou were all bark and no bite? It is a shameth to see that thou have broken so sooneth.\"\n\n\"I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL FAKE. I DIDN'T KNOW WE'D BE FIGHTING REAL DEMONS, YOU GIANT BLOATED DOUCHEBAG. WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL THE POLICE?\"\n\n\"Why, Sir Arthur,\" he said with a smug grin. \"Do you think the 'police' could handle these dark creatures of the night? Nay. We are the first and last line of defence humanity has against these foul darkspawn. The sooner thou realise that, the betterth.\"\n\n\"OH MY GOD.\"\n\n\"Don't be silly. There is no God.\"\n\n\"DON'T GIVE ME THAT EDGY ATHEIST BULL-\"\n\n\"No, Arthur,\" somehow he was up in my face now, with his hands on my shoulders. \"There is no God.\" His pupils were pinpricks. His words were cold and final. He looked like he was reliving a nightmare. \"Do you know what would happen if we called the police? They would all die. Do you know what would happen when they send in the army? They would all die. Bullets do not work on them. Fire does not burn them. You can't poision them or drown them. Or even starve them out. I have tried all of those. It was not until one had me pinned on the ground with it's teeth, those gnashing teeth mere inches away from my face dripping saliva and oozing with the smell of rotten flesh, did I pierce it's hide with my pocket knife. That was the only time did I make it bleed. Not when they had my girlfriend in those multitudnous appendages of theirs. Not when she was torn limb by limb. Nor was it when they tortured my family to death. Only then did I make them bleed.\"\n\n\"Do you want the truth of it, Arthur? Death makes them stronger. We fight them because we are few. The rest believe that it is cause we were born with some sort of special ability. That is a lie. We are the first line of defence because they will get nothing when we die. We are not the shining heroes that will save the world. We are sheep to the slaughter. Sacrifices to buy them enough time to invent a solution. We are not the first and last line of defence. There are LARP clubs all over the world. You are nothing. A single brick in the wall that holds back the rising tide. You are only useful to me as long as you do your part. Otherwise I don't give a shit about you. Do you understand why I'm telling you this, Arthur?\"\n\n\"yes,\" I replied, \"i think.\"\n\n\"Good,\" he said, cheerful arrogance back in a heartbeat. \"Now sally forth, Sir Arthur! We have many more to slay until the day is over!\"\n\n\n\n",
"I look up at the roaring titan and gulp,\n\"What in the world?\"\n\nThe foot comes bearing down on me and it snaps me out of my shock, \"Shit\" I yelp as I dodge and slash the foot.\n\nMy attack pierced through the skin of the titan, making it stumble and fall as my fellow LARPers cheered, \"Good shot man!\" One roared and held out it's palm, \"Bind!\"\n\nLarge chains immediately sprung up and bound the titan to the floor.\n\nOne guy, a rather weedy looking fellow pointed his staff at me and grinned, \"Nice job man, this is going to kick your rank up real quick. You're going to the tougher missions already, luck you.\"\n\nAs I wince another person, a blonde I remembered wearing eyeglasses slams her palm on my back, the armor making it incredibly painful.\n\"You're going to get the good stuff though, so no worries.\"\n\nI cough and look at the sea of grinning faces, I sweat. \n\"You're all insane.\"\n\n\"Welcome to the club, we have free pizza on Thursdays.\"",
"\"One little play\" I'd said to myself that morning. \"One battle, and if I don't like it, I can just go home and pretend i spent the afternoon reading Reddit.\" Of course, heading out with my re-enactment sword, one I'd bought months ago, and had planned to frame on the wall as a decoration, I knew it was going to be hard work. Some people take this seriously, and all the metal gear must weight a fair bit, but I hadn't planned on letting a few over-zealous players ruin the experience. Arriving early, there was only a sparse few people there, already in a group. Two suited up, but obviously built for combat, these people where more 'jocks' then nerds, standing a head and shoulder above me, and I was a tall 6'5\". The third was an old, grizzled-looking veteran, looking fresh from an RPG, the sort who you'd see in a tavern, retired after leading a life of campaigning on the front lines of an army. I almost complimented the makeup, practically flawless, and the scar he bore on his cheek ran deep, deeper then I felt comfortable looking at. The other two looked much less serious, one, in a hoodie and jeans, possibly mistakable for a bystander, if it wasn't for the two blades at his side, blackened with sharpie to glint less in the light, the safety containers out of sight, and the other, a shorter fellow who held a device that looked like a crossbow, the bolt in it capped in a small metal boxing glove: Almost comical. The veteran was talking quietly, and I wished that I could hear him as I walked up, it sounded fun, his face awash with small expressions, that of hate, stern repremands, and undertones of worry: This larper was clearly one who enjoyed his craft. I only caught the last word as I stood behind the two towering suits of metal 'And remember, whatever you do, don't stand directly in front of it.' before they did some sort of group rally call that I wasn't in on, a 'Hoo-Ah!' that had real heart to it, and they scattered, out into today's playfield. I went with, after all, the event wasn't starting for another half hour, and I could use all the practice I could get. Maybe if I figured out that I didn't like it before the event, less people would have the chance to see me. The park was cordned off, a grant given by the city after what the website had said was weeks of booking for a few hours of interrupted time. I wasn't sure what to do, so I walked through the middle of it all, practicing my sword swings a little, the bright orange plastic caps on the side making a pleasant swoosh as I walked. It was all too soon before I rounded a tree, and saw the most real-life looking dragon, made out of shrubbery, standing beofre me. It moved, snorted, and I could swore glared. It wasn't till it opened it's mouth, and a spark of fire lit up, and my world became heat and pain that I remembered the old man's words. 'Don't stand in front of it.'"
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You can bring your whole family.
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[WP] Museum of Unnatural History is now open for educational sleepovers.
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"The Museum was there one day without warning. No one seemed to remember what building stood in the same spot yesterday, or if one had been there at all. There had been no signs, no construction, and no adverts. Yet today there was a building with a single door, and on the door a single poster consisting of only eleven words:\n\nThe Museum of Unnatural History is now open for educational sleepovers. \n\nThe door is locked, but word spreads like wildfire. The outside of the building is plain and brick, stretching up at least 3 stories.There are no windows, and no way in or out beside the one. What lies inside becomes the talk of the town by lunchtime. \n\nBy dusk, the brave begin to gather. They clutch sleeping bags and pillows, toiletries and backpacks. They wait and chatter anxiously, not knowing what to expect. No one comes to unlock the door, but nevertheless, it swings opens at precisely the second the street lamps light. Silence and a cool breeze beckon from within, and one by one the eager the museum goers disappear inside. When the last enters, the door quietly shuts. The street outside falls to silence. \n\nCome morning, a throng of people has formed. Some are family and friends of those inside, but most are merely curious. Will they come out? Will they come out different? What will they have seen and experienced inside the Museum of Unnatural History?\n\nWhen the street lamps turn off, they emerge, unharmed but not unaffected. Each has a different story of what they saw. Some tell of whales that flew and androids that fought in historic battles, while other describe constellations of cotton candy and fire that was cold to the touch. None seem to agree, but all want to return.\n\nThe next night, the line to get inside stretches around the block. You are among them, but far too nervous to think yourself able to sleep when you get there. Those around you talk in hushed, hurried whispers. All eyes are on the street lamps. Once they flick on, the line lurches into motion and the energy from the crowd turns abuzz. Knowing only how to put one foot in front of the other, you follow the man in front of you.\n\nYou step through the door to the museum and turn the corner. The hall is so dark that before long, you have to keep a hand on the wall to follow its twists and turns. No one dares speak. There are no branching hallways, no paths on which to lose your way. You walk on.\n\nThe hall leads to a dimly lit room. There are beds, just enough for all the visitors, and nothing more. Despite being only a minute's walk, the journey here has taken something out of you. You pick a bed. You lie down. You sleep. \n\nThe exhibits you find exceed your wildest imagination. "
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[WP] The aliens came neither to invade nor to harvest organs. They came to get high.
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"Three friends gathered outside gazing at the stars smoking a bleezy, at this moment a rather usual pastime every weekend. The Three Bluntskateers,as they to call themselves, had seen their fair share of stars (basically the same ones every weekend dude) while higher than the fucking ISS but this night was no doubt going to be one for the books. Whilst passing the blunt To Plug-O, Nug-O noticed it was roached, so he asked Plug-O for the roach clip and Plug-O obliged rummaging through his pockets. Things however were significantly stranger for the other homie known only as Konnect-4 or Kony (they somehow missed the whole Kony 2012 thing) as he was wide eyed and staring forward with amazement clear on his face, uttering these words: \"That's an alien yo.\" Nug-o and Plug-O laughed as they looked forward quickly this shuttered into silence as there was indeed an alien right in front of them. They stood petrified as the alien uttered in clear English: \"Yo so my species appointed me as High Ambassador to Earth, but since we have yet to have an interspecies sesh. I figured you guys would do, anyway what's the rotation, I've got backwoods and Platinum Girl Scout Cookies. \n\nTo Be Continued maybe \nNeeds editing though and that's half the battle. ",
"***We come in pieces.***\n\nFour words, somewhat confusing, were plastered across the... thingy. What *was* that, anyways? A small canister splayed out what appeared to be a holographic screen, floating in mid-air. The materials it was made out of were incredibly tough, and yet, so very light. Trou d'Eau resolved to ask his science minister about it. Later, of course. He had alien messages to deal with now.\n\n\"Sorry - Is this the only message we've received?\"\n\n\"No, sir,\" responded his secretary. \"I'm sorry if you wanted to see both, but the other one just displays '4/20 BLAZE IT' so we made it the engineer's plaything.\" \n\n\"Clever. Well, where are these aliens? I'd quite like to speak to-\"\n\n*Blorp*\n\nStanding in the middle of what had once been a desk - and a very nice desk at that - were two somewhat-humanoid yellow creatures. Each sported a fancy leather jacket (huh, Gucci) and sunglasses, though the latter wasn't quite able to cover their two pairs of eyes. \n\n\"H-hi, leader o' Canada. We're-*urp*-happy to take advantage of - honoured by - your invitation..\" Oddly, when it spoke, the sound seemed to come out of its ears. \n\n\"Hello, er, my good aliens. Please,\" said Trou d'Eau, gesturing at the now slightly-destroyed room around him, \"take a seat. I am terribly sorry that I was not more prepared for your arrival.\"\n\nThe one on the left belched and fell backwards. A moment before it hit the ground, a bean bag chair materialized out of nowhere underneath its body. \"No-*urp*-need, 'sir. We're good.\"\n\nAnother chair materialized, and the alien's fellow sat in a somewhat more refined manner. \n\n\"Now, sorry to get straight to business, but what can I do for you? If you'll excuse me asking, why are you even here in Canada in the first place - and, er, sorry, but did you spell 'peace' wrong in your entry message?\"\n\n\"Nah, man,\" said the more relaxed alien. It -he?- leaned forward in his seat, meeting Trou d'Eau's gaze. \"We're-*urp*-totally serious. We come in pieces, man. We've been torn apart and we... we need *you* to save us. To make us whole again.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand.\"\n\n\"I'm talkin' bout *weed*, man. We need that-*urp*-human weed. Get us whole again, man.\"\n\nTrou d'Eau caught the eye of his secretary and shrugged. \"Go right ahead. It's good for the economy.\"\n\n^^^more ^^^stories ^^^on ^^^r/forricide"
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With "The Real Ghostbusters" hitting Netflix and a second Beetlejuice movie in the works, it has me wondering about this particular matchup. Lydia has moved on, and a new family is fed up with their unwanted guest. Who are they gonna call? Does the Ghost with the Most stand a chance? You decide!
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[WP] Betelgeuse meets the Ghostbusters. What happens? Who wins?
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"\"A star.\"\n\n\"Yep.\"\n\n\"You want us to take on... a star.\"\n\n\"A ghost star. Don't forget the ghost part. We have it on good authority that this star is actually a ghost star. According to my calculations it should have died around 500 years ago and yet it's still there, we can still see it!\"\n\nBill Murray pulled a whiteboard out of his backpack because of course he did and started writing down *c=299,792,458* at the top, then he sighed.\n\n\"Okay, genius. That's the speed of light. That's how fast light moves in a vacuum. If we take a distance and divide it by that speed, we know how long it takes for light to reach our eyes. For example, the sun is 8 light-minutes away, meaning that the image we see of the sun actually existed 8 minutes (plus some seconds) ago. Okay?\"\n\nHe nodded.\n\n\"And how far away is this blue giant?\"\n\n\"Around 6.08 * 10^18 meters away,\" he recited from Google search.\n\n\"Then Betelgeuse is 642.5 light years away, give or take. What we see of Betelgeuse is actually how the star actually was over 640 years ago. If the star has died, we won't know for a long time from now. Alright, dickless? And anyway, your star has over a hundred thousand years left in its lifesycle. It may be dying, but Betelgeuse ain't dead.\"\n\nThe makeshift classroom exploded in light for a brief minute as a painful echoing laughter expanded out against the awkward silence left in the air by Bill Murray's scientific rant. When the laughter and light faded enough for both our characters to gather their belongings and for the frazzled man to put his broken glasses back on. Thankfully he had a handy SportsGlassesStrapForAdultz^(tm) on them so he just had to raise the pair to his eyes. He beheld a queer sort of man, situated in the middle of the room in a circle of ash, looking confused.\n\n\"Why am I here?\"\n\nBill Murray stood up, shaking his absent hair into a fashionable style he seemed proud to behold. He cleared his throat.\n\n\"Sorry, Juicey-\"\n\n\"Shut up.\"\n\n\"I said I'm sorry. It's not my fault, it's this goddamn wise guy right here who came in here ranting about ghost stars and ghost space and a ghost sun and all that jazz.\"\n\n\"First off, don't call me Juicey. That's just... cringeworthy and gross; I'm not some lover of yours. Not after Budapest.\"\n\n\"Um, if I may interject, but what the hell-\" the man tried to lift a finger and join whatever this conversation had become.\n\n\"Shut the fuck up,\" Bill Murray and ostensibly Beetlejuice responded in unison.\n\nBill started up first, \"You really ought to get that glitch fixed, ya know. Too many times I've gotten reports from college physics or astronomy classes about bright flashes of light or other spooky events happening.\"\n\n\"It's an old, aural technology. Teaching it to peruse semantics hasn't been the easiest task in the world.\"\n\n\"Surely I can help you, help you help me. What can I do?\"\n\n\"Two things. Well, in order to return home, I need to take someone. And I need another soul to fix this goddamned accursed machine. I don't suppose you'd like to accompany me...\"\n\n\"No. Not after Budapest, like you said,\" Bill replied with the speed of a spurned ex. \"Take him, instead. He's no use to me or, as it seems, to anyone.\"\n\n\"Fair enough. Will you come willingly, little buddy?\"\n\n\"Why should I?\"\n\nThe man collapsed, face contorted in agony as he felt his insides condense, pulled towards a single singularity, into a portal to another world of insanity.\n\n\"You don't get a choice. And oh, Bill? Betelgeuse, the star I mean, is in fact a ghost star. It's getting closer too, but it can only move so fast, only at 500 times the speed of light. You've got time. Not sure how long, a year or so? Anyway, good luck with that!\" Both Beetlejuice and his ill-fated companion disappeared in a puff of smoke that left the faint air of sliced tangerines in the air. Bacon too.\n\nBill Murray did some calculations on his phone: 1.28 years to save the world.\n\n\"Oh shit.\"\n\n---\n\nI haven't seen Ghostbusters or Beetlejuice so what I know is based solely on the horrendous remake of the former and osmosis-absorbed knowledge of the latter. I hope I did right, enough, by the source material.\n\nAnd I'm sure Bill Murray's character has a name in-universe, but he's just Bill Murray to me, just as it always has been and just as it always shall be."
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[WP] Most superheroes can fly or have super strength. You, however, have the ability to change the odds.
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"How do you win a fight?\n\n\nThe universe is out to get you, one hit and you are out. But what are\nthe odds of that happening. It is all about numbers and how many are\non your side.\n\n\nThe opposite example would be to partake in a lottery contest\ninvolving like thousands of other partakers, the odds are stacked\nheavily against you. How likely is it that if you had a spacecraft\nand you were in outer space, to be hit by a comet. Again the odds\nare stacked against you, or is it in favor of you. Similarly you can\nraise such questions as how likely is it that a bullet would get you,\nif you happen to nonchalantly walk across the battle field. Is it a\nquestion of chance of probability or just a matter of time till\nsomething knocks you out of the game.\n\n\nThe physics of the world too works in this very same way. That is how\ni have been fighting for justice, turning the odds in favor of me.\nYou just have to plot ahead and introduce multiple elements who do not\nknow that they are part of the event, even if they are not taking part\nin it. As i manipulate the stacks of odds, i could orchestrate the\nuniverse in a grand symphony rising and swirling to my cues.\n\n\nEnter a crime scene and me and my silly cape. A single measly me\nagainst some hundred armed assailants. How do i turn the fight in\nfavor of me. I introduce actors in the scene that would be in the\nbattle field along with me, obviously they would not even know that\nthey are involved in some event. And that is how i turn the odds of\none to hundred to thousands to hundred. Even if the ratio is not that\nbig, the odds are in favor of me.\n\n\nAnd i minimize my risks in the same way, involving lots of people in\nthe event. Social media is a tool that i use, it is no longer a\nmeasly me against a dozen goons but droves of social media followers\nand me against all those adversaries. All the world is a game of dice\nbut when it comes to the actual outcomes, it is all about\nprobabilities of events.\n\n\n",
"As I walk towards the panicking villain I smirk.\n\n\"What are you?! Why can't I hit you?!\" The villain yells as he attempts to shoot me and misses.\n\nOver and Over and Over again.\n\n\"Hm? I'm just your everyday, average superhero.\" I drawl and stop right in front of the villain.\n\nThe villain tries to shoot me one more time but the gun is slapped from his grip.\n\n\"Why can't I hit you? WHY CAN'T I HIT YOU?!\"\n\nI smirk and cock my fist back, \"The odds just aren't in your favor.\"\n\nMy punch knocks him unconscious instantly.",
"It started when I was 18. It usually did. It was the big birthday. The birthday you had The Test. Some lifted cars that day. Some vaporised ice with laser beams. Most did just as I did - stared at impossible challenge after impossible challenge, calling on skills they did not have to do what they could not. I cried that day. My friends all had powers - a freak coincidence that I have, to this day, never understood. I had none. I spent the next in bed. All children got the week after their test off - a holiday to come to terms with what they were or, as in my case, were not. The last day of the holiday is when it happened. I decided that if I did not have powers, I had nothing to live for. I only changed my mind when I kicked the chair out from under me and the noose tightened around my neck. For anyone else, it would have been too late. But the knot unraveled, the rope broke, the light I had tied it to fell from the ceiling and the chair knocked my desk over - it fell under my feet. Any one would have saved my life. Every one should not have happened. The rope I had stolen from a shipyard where it was used to lift ships that weighed thousands of tons. The knot I had checked a hundred times could support me. The light was welded to my ceiling. The desk was ten times heavier that the chair and should have stayed in place. But they all did happen. So, I faked my test results. I should have been caught. Talked to the wrong people, been seen, have already shared the news with someone. But, of course, I didn't. I was a super tactical planner according to the certificate. A rare power, but not unheard of. I joined the army. Everyone with powers did. I got kicked out as soon as I had learned what I wanted to know; on the first day. I went into politics. My campaign started seven days before the election. Eight days later, I was president. A surprising referendum result was all that was needed to overturn the law against the president also ruling other states. A hundred surprising referendum results overturned every law against a foreign leader being the leader of any nation. 127 surprising elections later, I was the ruler of the democratic world. Then the space program started. Every revolutionary scientific research project panned out. Warp drives. Fusion reactors. Genetic modification. Every space launch succeeded. A telescope found a perfect world and humanity reached the stars, borne upon a tide of *incredibly* good luck. I died at age 97, remembered as a hero who, against all odds, brought a united humanity to the stars. \n\nBut, of course, I didn't die - I was fortunate enough to stumble upon the secret to immortality when I was 30. \n\nAnd the odds were **always** with me.",
"If you've taken a basic math class, you understand numbers. There's a distinction, some vague line, drawn in the sand between the big ones and the little ones. It's a vital understanding, some would say, to make one's way through life.\n\nTake the lottery, for example. And a dice. You roll the die, one in six times you're going to get a specific number. The lottery - what is it, one in millions? I haven't really paid attention, I'm sure you understand. Everyone has this understanding, this fundamental knowledge, that there is an immense divide struck between those two odds - between one in a million and one in six. \n\nWhen I first manifested powers, I used them to get to work faster. A waste, probably - useful, certainly. No light was ever red, no cars made that one-in-ten decision to cut me off. For a period of time longer than I'm willing to admit, I had myself convinced it was just luck. That thoughts of superpowers and fighting crime were merely fantasies, and that I was just someone abnormally lucky.\n\nAnd then I won the lottery. Twice, in two consecutive weeks. \n\nIf I were to call that a game-changer, I'm sure you'd agree, but I won't. It *wasn't* a game-changer. Sure, I was significantly richer than I had been before, and secure in my knowledge that I had some form of superpower, but what did one really *do* with superpower-enhanced luck? And I could hardly quit my job over a few hundred grand.\n\nFrankly, it was tempting to do the lottery again, but I'm not stupid. Maybe a bit impulsive, but never stupid.\n\nSo I joined up with you guys. *That* was a game-changer. Do you remember our first fight? You, me, Laserman - hah, he was still Laserboy then, wasn't he? - and the others. Six of us in total, against the entirety of Bleusche's army. A public confrontation, heralded by thousands of civilians calling us fools.\n\n*Do they even understand the chances of them beating Bleuche are infinitismal?*\n\n*The morons, there's no more than a one-in-a-thousand chance they succeed.*\n\n*Super-idiots, more like, thinking their powers can somehow even the odds between a couple teenagers and an entire army.*\n\nI remember those quotes, clear as day. They were what Animo whispered to me, before the fight. You wanted to know, I'm sure, so there they are. They might have depressed anyone else... but for me, they were *fuel*. I took in their doubts, the feeling of the odds being stacked against us, and I feasted upon it. The worries, the uncertainties - yes, the probabilities. Delicious nourishment for my power.\n\nDo you remember when we routed them? Destroyed their army, picked it to pieces, never sustaining more than light wounds? The ease with which we disassembled their forces? \n\nDo you remember who the public credited with the win? Animos, for her brilliant strategies and incredible knowledge. Laserboy, for his lancing beams that cut through their most powerful technology. Yourself, for your strength and speed, able to run through hundreds of soldiers at a time. Reynar, Eurime, Vilat, for their own individual contributions, were more footnotes. I was less than that.\n\nNo, I'm not bitter. The spotlight being off of me made it easier, created this façade that I wasn't worth anyone's time. It's easier to manipulate things from the background, after all.\n\nThe reason I'm telling you this is to make sure you understand - I am the only one who won us that fight. I and I alone was responsible for that victory. I had a hand in every soldier you took down, ensuring they survived but were knocked out. I was Laserboy's sight, I was Animo's guidance, I positioned our forces to be exactly where they needed to be for us to win.\n\nI was a god.\n\nI was arrogant.\n\nI met her because of my power. We dated, probably thanks to my power, married with my power's guidance. Do you understand? It tainted everything. No matter what I did, I used my power to ensure it went perfectly. Manipulated the probabilities of peoples' minds, to make sure they thought what they were meant to think.\n\nA house is not a mind, Charles. Fire does not listen to luck. It consumes, no matter what you say to it. It devours, guided only by the air, and it is *fast*.\n\nI'm leaving, Charles.\n\nI *loved her*, Charles, and I couldn't save her.\n\nI couldn't save Anna. Or Chuck. \n\nIt's on me, you understand? It's all on me! Every time you feel like cursing the poor fortune of our late teammates, it was *I* that was meant to keep that fortune perfect. Fuck, I'm not fate, but it feels like it, and there are things I can't control-\n\nI'd say this is because I don't want to lose the rest of you.\n\nBut that would be a lie.\n\nI just don't want to be responsible.\n\n^^^more ^^^stories ^^^on ^^^r/forricide"
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[WP] You are actually not an arch wizard. You are just a very skilled stage magician.
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"The voices of the instructors float out into the hall on what must surely be some spell. \"She's so talented she's moved beyond using standard foci before the end of her first year!\" The high pitched nasal voice nearly squealed with delight. I looked embarrassed out from behind the hoodie at the rest of the children who were shooting me dark looks as Mrs. Apple charged ahead with her overly dramatic oration. \"Her performance was suffering at first but then all of a sudden... Poof!\" A few giggles from only herself at her attempt at a joke before she charged on. \"So, I would like to impress upon you that the annual practical examination should be in place to allow her to skip two... NO THREE years at least in the academy!\" The boy down the row who had cast the eavesdropping spell cut it off abruptly with a snort of derision and a venomous glare in my direction. \n\"Sonya come in here please!\" came the voice of Mrs. Apple as she opened the door.\nI got up and with a guilty smile at the rest of the kids in my class I went into the examination room. Four of the instructors from the upper classes sat lined up at the end of a great room with far too much wood. Everything was made of oak. From the chairs to the wood paneling on the walls everything was made of oak with the exception of a slate circle in the middle of the room about ten feed away from the instructors who sad in wooden oak chairs on the other side of a giant oak table. There must have been more than a few mishaps during examinations where children, desperate to impress the headmasters had flung some crazy amount of magic and caused some crazy amount of damage in this space for them to have to go to that much trouble to get all this magically resistant wood. As I approached the circle in the middle of the room I saw the carefully placed props in the center of the circle. A leaf, a piece of chalk, a bowl of sticky muck which I knew was a combination of wormwood root and lizard feces, and a safety pin sat innocuously in the center of the slate circle. Inside I laughed and I had quite a time trying to keep myself from grinning ear to ear. This was going to be easier than ANYTHING I had done in class.\n\"As you know,\" the Dean began with what I assumed was wizardly dour intonations that were only taught to the upper classes, \"You have been called here to demonstrate your skill in front of the headmasters of this school.\" I bit my lip in anticipation of what I knew was going to be possibly the funniest thing I had ever heard in my ENTIRE life. \"You may use any of the props in front of you to levitate...\" and here he paused as if delivering the mark and measure of a task that would surely awe generations to come, \"this safety pin.\" I bit my lip so hard that I tasted blood but no amount of pain could keep the smile from my face. The Dean, not impressed by my smile continued with a bit more irritation in his voice. \"You surely know by now that this safety pin is made of steel!\" I nodded trying to regain my composure and trying to simultaneously show deference and fear. No good. \"I need not remind you that magical effects on items made from steel are incredibly difficult to perform!\" His rage was almost palpable and a vein on his forehead stood out like it was about to split in two, cooked from the inside like a hotdog in a microwave. I managed to snap to attention and regain my composure somehow. He seemed sated as he lowered himself back into his seat. The other headmasters remained silent. \"Begin!\" \nI walked to the center of the circle and picked up the safety pin. As I held it up to the light with my right hand my left connected the invisible thread to the ring I wore on my left hand. I made a quite theatrical motion placing the safety pin in the center of the circle. I knew damn well I was supposed to crush up the leaf in the wood gunk and spread it in a circle on the floor and draw a picture of what always looked to me like a duck and that would allow the object to levitate up in a column over the duck symbol. So I couldn't resist another theatrical move. I went over to the magical reagents and in a sweep of my hand sent the chalk, the small bowl and the leaf across the floor. I got the gasp I was looking for from the audi... the headmasters. I flashed them a wicked smile as I took the saftey pin from where I had palmed it during the little demonstration with the reagents and clipped it on the invisible thread coming from underneath my scarf to my right thumb and then to my left pinky finger ring. The paperclip suspended between my outstretched hands floated like it had a mind of it's own. The headmasters stood from the table with exclamations of alarm and surprise! I walked toward them and made a beautiful half second pause before stepping with purpose on to the oak floor with the safety pin still suspended between my hands. One of the headmasters fainted. I pretended to concentrate on the safety pin with all of my effort as I approached the table. I slowly allowed the pin to rest lightly on the table in front of the Dean of the school. He sat, mouth agape as I snapped the thread and bowed walking away from the table. \nThe room was silent for the space of seven seconds while the table of headmasters stared at the safety pin sitting in front of them. The Dean finally had the strength to whisper, \"That's impossible.\" I smiled. \nThe Dean stood up and his eyes fell upon me. They were not happy eyes. \"We have one more test for you.\" His wizardly intonation skills were really incredible. He nodded and a table was brought in. It was oak of course and I nearly died. On it... were three copper cups, and four balls.\n\nEDITS: Grammar, plessing."
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[WP] It's villain appreciation day, the villains now have to deal with the numerous things people send them, more than usual anyway.
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"Ever since Captain Cosmic and Silent Knight kicked off the tradition, it had been custom for heroes to give gifts to their rivals on Villain appreciation day, and villains to give gifts to heroes on Hero appreciation day. The fact that the two were secretly in a romantic affair with one another, something that seemed obvious in hindsight given both their actions and the shift in general attitude toward one another over their careers, the tradition had been maintained. In the end, it helped everyone, keeping the hero-villain relationship more of a friendly rivalry and reminding both sides that they were still people under the costumes.\n\nDifferent rivalries would typically give different types of gifts. Jack-a-nape and Detective Malloy would always join forces and beat down some hero or villain that had been dissing them. Puppeteer would always give the same goofy looking puppet to Mauve marauder, which would always be sent back when it was Marauder's turn to give a gift. For most pairs, though, it was simply another opportunity for one-upping their rival by giving the most ostentatious gift.\n\nThat was not the typical tradeoff for the Viceroy. It wasn't that things were so bad between him and the Libertine that they didn't participate, but Libertine was not a very wealthy hero. From his limited intel on her, Viceroy knew she was one of the few heroes who had a part time job in addition to the paycheck she got as a hero. While he could hypothetically just cut her a check, he knew she would take it as him mocking her poverty. He'd usually get a gift idea off of her recent blog rants or banter, but this time there wasn't much to work from, so he simply sent a gift basket of wine from his hometown of Marlowe.\n\nThis year, the old standouts such as the historical society acknowledging his part in keeping the history of the area alive, as well as the admirers and Stockholm syndrome-addled hostages had all sent something, so he actually had more gifts than usual. Viceroy didn't actually expect much from Libertine, it wouldn't be the first time she skipped out and her whole schtick was defying tradition in the name of freedom and practicality. Naturally, she managed to surprise him like she always did.\n\nThere, in the box tied with string, was a cloth doll. Simple, made of a soft fabric, with the name \"Marlowe\" sewn into the leg. And yet, it held a lot of sentimental value. Viceroy hadn't seen a similar doll in over a decade, since the Marlowe orphanage burned down, leaving him and many of the other children homeless. From the well-worn look, it seemed this doll was well loved. There were only two eminent explanations the Viceroy could come to, either Libertine had figured out that part of his past and gone out of her way to get a gift that would have meaning for it, or she was one of the other orphans and was inspired to part with the doll on the off chance she would find common ground. Either way, things between them would likely not be the same after this day.",
"Unlike most, Bloodstrike actually enjoyed Villain Appreciation Day. \n\nWhile other schemers, mad scientists, radioactive mutant warlords and world-class thieves felt uncomfortable receiving recognition for their dastardly exploits, Bloodstrike never rejected a bit of fan feedback coming his way.\n\nMaybe it was since the times he served his prison sentence, with all the young women writing him love letters... he learned that there was always a subset of the female population that fell for murderous crazies, and the current attention, however misguided, warmed him like back in day.\n\nMaybe, because deep inside his heart, he never accepted the idea that his actions were truly \"evil\", so people sending their gratitudes felt fair. He tried his best to make the world better. Not his problem that the powers that be labeled it \"terrorism\". \n\nIt was hypocritical, he decided. The world was ruled by the strongest, without mercy or real law, proclaiming their goodness and virtue - but when he, Bloodstrike, exerted his strength, he became the \"bad guy\"? What a crock of bullshit.\n\nBloodstrike hummed happily under his nose as he watched the drone appear above the dusty hillside ridge, clutching several postal parcels in its grip. It was not like he could have a PO box in the middle of nowhere, so, thanks to DarkNet, he arranged a drop point for donations at the city's outskirts.\n\nThe parcels dropped, and Bloodstrike hurried back into the abandoned farm.\n\n***\n\nMost of it was expected and welcome - foodstuffs from across the globe, some fun trinkets, fanart (flattering and *un*flattering), clothes. He was especially grateful for a nice warm sweater and a pair of tracksuit pants. Given the nature of his powers, clothes got wasted very, very fast, so each bit really helped. He spread the gifts evenly across the table, admiring the care some people put into the offerings and wincng slightly at a drawing that depicted him as a ball of tentacled crimson goo. \n\nThere was just the last parcel left - a large square box with a piece of paper taped to the top. A letter with the gift, then. He hadn't gotten those for a while.\n\nIntrigued, he smoothed out the paper, reading out aloud the uneven and unsure English scribbles that gave away a person mostly unfamiliar with the language.\n\n*Mr. Bloodstrike, hello. You don't remember me, but I do. Three years ago my country was attacked. Some people an ocean away one day decided that we were bad people with a bad government, and sent their ships, rockets and soldiers to take our country away. They killed many people here, but everyone else considered it a good thing, they did.*\n\n*My papa served in the President's Army. He volunteered to protect me and mama and our village with the other soldiers, but when the bad people came with tanks, they didn't accept their surrender, and killed my papa, because he was in the Army. I guess they wanted to kill us too, so it would seem like it wasn't their fault.*\n\n*But you came and killed them all instead. Thank you. Mama hid me behind a bus, and I saw everything. How you made knives and spears out of your blood, how you sliced through the bad soldiers and their tanks, how you cut the hand off their general so he couldn't detonate the bomb they brought to my home. You bled for us when the whole world turned away. I wish I could have such blood.*\n\n*We couldn't stay in the village after, so we moved to the city. We survived, and now we have tanks and planes too, and I even go to school now that we are stronger. I saw on the internet how they blamed you for being a monster. How they said it was a peace mission. But its not true. We don't believe that. You should know that I think.*\n\n*I send you papa's helmet. Mama doesn't know I kept it since then. And I know that you can make your blood harder than any steel, that bullets dont really hurt you - I saw - but I still want you to have it, please. Maybe it will protect you some other way.*\n\n*Zaran, 11 yrs.*\n\nReverently, Bloodstrike put the letter away. Hooking a nail under the tape, he opened the box to reveal just that - a battered, dirty helmet, painted in the colors of little Zaran's country flag. Bloodstrike looked it over, finger circling a bullet-hole in the back of the helmet.\n\n*They didn't accept their surrender, and killed my papa.* That's called a summary execution, kid.\n\nThe boy was right - he didn't remember him, stowed away under a carcass of a burnt bus. But he remembered that day. The rage and horror, screams and the smell of flesh catching fire. People scattering away from his skirmish with the Alliance black op force, running from both him and their enemy... not that it mattered. Not like their lives mattered.\n\nHe remembered the bodies he left in his wake.\n\nBloodstrike put the helmet on, turning his head side to side experimentally. The armor was heavy, so unlike the light kevlar pieces of the Alliance. Hard to fight in, probably, and he was lucky he never needed something as unreliable to help him deal out violence.\n\nShoulders sagging, Bloodstrike wept, grateful for the shadow the helmet cast on his face. Yes, he could harden his blood. He wished he could do the same to his heart."
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The bigger the better,
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[WP] Write a story with a huge Deus Ex Machina that you try to sneak past the reader.
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"Schroeder's call for action at the United Nations didn't go as he had planned. He now only had half a day left to battle the monster asteroid hurtling towards the Earth, and there was no escape, with few countries agreeing on the specifics of the coordinated robot attack that he had planned out. He had lost hope, and returned home to find solace in his daughter's eyes. \n\nIn a last ditch effort, he called the president, but he found that *he* was equally despondent. No matter how advanced any AI was, and how close his plan was to being successful, the conversation struggled to continue and ended up in defeated sighs on both ends of the phone call.\n\nThe time passed and there was no turnaround from anyone. What happened to the idea of humanity uniting in the face of cataclysm? Schroeder hugged his wife and his daughter as he decided he'd spend his last moments watching Futurama with his family. He sat on his favorite couch along with them to begin the however-long marathon, and bent to get the remote under the couch.\n\nSuddenly a signal was sent, it zapped across in less than a jiffy.\n\n\"Season 3?\"\n\nIt activated a complex mechanism, turning on hundreds of thousands of lights.\n\n\"Yeah. Dad, you should put it on TV, not HDMI.\"\n\nAn electronic army came into action.\n\n\"Like this? Wait, there we go.\"\n\nMoments later, people began screaming.\n\n\"Dad, turn the sound down a little.\"\n\nA bright blaze of action.\n\n\"Man, this is intense.\"\n\nThey watched the show. The fireworks entertained, and for what it's worth, they saved they day. As Bender delivered his one-liners, Schroeder's AI robot army was activated by the remote he accidentaly placed under his seat, and as Zoidberg said his wub-wubs, the army, carefully placed in different geographical locations, disintegrated the asteroid. Aside from one person who got hit in the head with a chunk, the world was safe again."
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[WP] Turns out humanity is the only civilization to know what a surprise attack is.
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"'Well here I am then' Michael James Dridge thinks to himself.\n\nColonel James, commander of the 21st fighter squadron. His wrists, endowed till recently with a silver Rolex watch on his right; a gift from his Old man, and a digital data pad; a mark of his command, on his left were now both bare and cuffed in front of him, his ankles chained to the floor.\n\nThere were no means of escape. The Telugians made sure of that. They composed the entirety of the security council for the Galactic Council on this end of the Galaxy. The Telugians have a mind designed to read and process every tick and body movement presented to them consciously and unconsciously by every species they meet. Once they've read you, they know every thought running through your mind before you even think it. The perfect Sentry, if not for one flaw.\n\nThe room he now stood in was massive. An alien version of a Roman coliseum. Easily capable of housing millions on a slow day. But today was no slow day. Today was his sentencing; and every member of the Galactic enclave had representatives here. They filled the entire top 200 decks. The lower 300 were filled with representatives from the thousand other small time players.\n\nHe was here to be 'Judged'. A date worse than death of the intel reports were accurate. He was a POW and he was solely responsible for leading his squadron of 20 fighter ships up against 40 of the Galactics' Battle Cruisers. A classic suicide run. A necessity, if only to prevent those same cruisers from slaughtering over 2 million Human colonists being evacuated. There were no other vessels in the area at the time. It was their only choice to stop the Galactic Enclaves Dominating Strikes against Humanity. Now, he didn't win that battle, but he came damn close. He took out 34 of their cruisers before he and the remaining 6 fighters were captured. But it was all worth it. All the colonists made It out, that was half the battle won.\n\nNow he stands here waiting to be judged while 18 of his Men were locked in cells 200 floors below him. Each mentally prepping themselves for the signal. His Signal.\n\nA slight wind blows against his cheek as he looks up at the opening in the roof 2km above where he stood. The clouds moving rapidly due to the planets extreme spin. No sentient species came from this planet. The fauna hardy after having grown and adapted to resist the tidal force winds. Devout of much resources, far off from any major trade routes. The perfect place for the Galactics command post within this quadrant of the Galaxy. No one would ever chance upon it.\n\n\"Prisoner number 201\" a voice bellows from the speakers around the room bringing James out from his train of thought. He looks around and spots the source, on a platform 20 feet up. It hovered there with the assistance of multiple anti-grav generators all around its base. The coloured lights shining down at him. The screens around the room show a the speaker to be a tall Bulking beast. Dark red skin, Gold coloured Iris's the size of saucers. A Gronk. Shrewd Diplomats, easy to temper and with a fury of thousand suns. Seeing it here brought the old human verb; 'Bull in a China shop' to mind. Their horns sure made it look like one.\n\n\"You have been brought forth to this panel to be judged for the destruction of 34 Galactic Battle Ships. The Gulag, The Shoreen.... and The Milokia. The entirety of their crews all lost with them. A total of 1.02 million charges of murder have been placed on your head. How do you pleeaad?\"\nThe entire statement converted from the Gorka native tongue to the thousand over tongues of all the different species present. The speakers spewing forth the translations all at the same time. English coming out last on its own for him to hear.\n\n'Fucker sure can talk, I'll give him that much.'\n\nJames looked up at the platform, the Gork out of view. The screens around the room now split, one half showing the Gork, while the other showed him. The camera recording him dead center under the platform. He studies it till he finds the faint blinking red light amongst the sharp greens and yellows along the circumference of the platform from the anti-grav units. He stairs into it, ideally buying himself as much time as possible.\n\n\"What do you Pleeaad Human!\" The Gork yells impatiently.\n\n\" I plead not guilty, I plead innocence on the grounds of self-protection \" he yells out. Within seconds he hears his response translated into a thousand different languages like before, all spewing out of the speakers at the same time. The sudden mass confusion and hysterics of the parties present as they try to understand what just happened brings a smile to his lips.\n\n'Weren't expecting that now did you you ugly fuckers' James thinks to himself.\n\n\"Whaaattt!!!!\" The Gork shrieks out, stamping his foot down hard on the metal platform several times. The platform slowly lowers itself down to the ground and the Gork steps off. It stairs at him, steam coming out of his snout. \"What did you say? Innocent?\"\n\n\" Yah.. what about it?\" James snaps back, eyeing the Gork. The Gork steadies itself, seemingly getting ready to charge at him when red lights begin flashing. Alarms follow suit and the screens go black before returning to a view of destruction in the space around the planet. This was his que.\n\nThe one flaw of the Telugians; they were arrogant pricks. They studied him and his men when they were captured, stripped them of their equipment, even the clothes off their backs. The Telugians never questioned what they were previewed to. All the 'ticks and body movements' he and his men had shown were rehearsed, a show for them to level the playing field. Once their equipment were taken, they didn't even bother to do a body scan for any implants they might have had. And now he had the upper hand.\n\nThe ships the galactic fleet were battling at that moment were Humans latest achievement. Vessels with stealth capabilities no other species could match. 'Surprise motherfuckers' When the war started the Humans were loosing, hell they still were, but they lucked out when they caught a Galactic Enclave City Ship drifting in the space between stars. Forgotten. It was a trove of scientific, linguistic, historical and military knowledge. Everything the Enclave knew. It was all they needed to turn the tide. Upon thorough research, we had discovered that no other species seemed to participate or entertain the principle of Surprise. The one thing we loved doing for fun. That revelation was a year ago. And this entire plan had been in the works since. He had sacrificed both hands for mechanical ones equipped with enough firepower to take on an Army. He had to sacrifice some of his men to the plan as well. He was sure as hell he was gonna make their lives count for something. Now as the Gorka studied the screens as his backup blew their fleet to smithereens, he snaps the cuffs off. He snaps his fingers, sending a signal to his men below. Their bodies riddled with implants, they attack.\n\nHe sighs taking the sight on the screens one last time and lunges straight for the Gorka as it sees him. \"Surprised?\"",
"\"Welcome to Earth, Commander Gorlax.\" I bowed respectfully to the green alien stepping out of his ship.\n\n\"I hope that our exchange of military personnel can bring mutual knowledge to both our species,\" he replied, not returning the bow.\n\nI cleared my throat, struggling to keep up with the Venusian's massive stride. \"Of course, Commander. We invited you here during one of our war games so that you might see first-hand...\"\n\n\"Forgive me, Captain; your primitive language is interfering with our translation device. Surely you do not speak of the art of war as if it were a game.\"\n\n\"It's merely a turn of phrase, sir. We use these exercises to practice, to hone our skills, so that when war is truly upon us, we can be better prepared.\"\n\n\"Ah. The crudeness of your words hide a truth.\" He walked on ahead of me, leaving me to flip him off behind his back.\n\nEventually, I caught up to Gorlax at the forward command tent. Inside, General Hargrove was already relaying instructions to the team leaders.\n\n\"-to the north. Delta Squad, you are to set up in the forest to the east, posing as insurgents. Does everyone understand their assignments?\"\n\n\"SIR, YES SIR!\"\n\n\"Excellent. We have a visitor today. Commander Gorlax, of the Venusian...what division did you say you was from?\"\n\nThe alien stuck his non-existent nose in the air. \"There is no word in your language for the sophisticated military organization I am a part of, General.\"\n\n\"Right. Well, Mr. Stuck-up Britches here is observing our operations today, so be on your best. Battle stations!\"\n\nThe tent cleared quickly. The general hopped in a jeep and followed Alpha Squad to the main attack point, leaving me and Gorlax to examine the battle plans. \"Here, Commander. This is the plan for the battle.\"\n\nThe Venusian picked up the map in his massive hands. \"I see. Hmm...Yes, this is well thought out. Surely the lout of a general didn't come up with a plan such as this.\"\n\nI bit my lip. \"General Hargrove can be...abrasive, but he has a strong tactical mind.\" I looked under Gorlax's shoulder. \"See, Alpha starts here, meets up with Beta, and-\"\n\n\"Yes, yes, I understand everything that was said. But what about this here?\" He pointed to a red dot on the west side of the map. \"I do not recall the general discussing the meaning of this point.\"\n\n\"Oh, that's Omega. Their job is to ambush Alpha and Beta.\"\n\nGorlax turned and looked me in the eye for the first time. \"Human, I have questioned your language before, but this intrigues me. We have many words that you do not, but this is the first word I do not know. What is...'ambush'?\"\n\n\"I, um...really? OK. Um, an ambush is a surprise attack.\"\n\n\"There you go again with the strange words. 'Surprise'. What is this?\"\n\n\"You can't be serious.\"\n\n\"I am always serious, and when it comes to military precision, doubly so.\"\n\n\"Right. A surprise is something unexpected. An ambush, then, is an attack that the enemy is not aware of. For example, in the American Revolution, the Americans used ambushes to-\"\n\n\"I've heard enough.\" Gorlax pushed me aside and left the tent, leaving me to run after him.\n\n\"Gorlax! Where are you going?\"\n\n\"You humans fight without honor. Venusians always agree to the terms of battle before the battle begins. That way, each one of us fights with honor and dignity. I will have no more of your primal tactics.\"\n\n\"Sorry, Gorlax, but I think you will.\"\n\n\"And why would you-\" He stopped at the end of a rifle held by a marine. Dozens more stepped out from behind parked jeeps and trucks, surrounding the Venusian. \"What is the meaning of this, Captain?\"\n\n\"I thought I just taught you the meaning of 'ambush', Commander.\""
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[wp] What we interpreted as "evolution" was actually an advanced alien race making "tweaks" to DNA as the environment changed. They've come back with a patch update for humanity.
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"When I awoke that morning, I had no idea what was to come. None of us had any idea. No one could have predicted it, unless of course you consider conspiracy theories accurate predictions. The first indication I had was a small flashing in the corner of my right eye. At first I thought the light in the lounge, barely visible in my peripheral vision was on the fritz again, but when I turned, the light was fine, but the flashing was still there. I focussed, and concluded the flashing was on my eye, not in my vision. I shook my head and walked to the bathroom. My apartment is a two bedroom \"villa\". It's not historic in anyway, but built to look like it, with hardwood floors and high ceilings. As I walked the stairs to the second floor where my room and ensuite were located, I could have sworn my leg got stuck in motion and I paused. Just for a split second, it felt like I was frozen. \"What on earth is going on?\" I murmured to myself. I'd had a few to drink to last night, but not enough for whatever this is. I reached the bathroom and stared at my pale face in the mirror. It was kind of hard to tell, but I could have sworn the I could see the light flashing on my eye in the reflection on the mirror. I assumed it was just my brain doing some weird trick, like an odd 'dress-gate' or something, and splashed my face with cold water. Drops fell off my chin into the sink. After a deep breath in I looked up at my reflection again and something had changed. The light was blinking faster and faster. I started to panic. I ran downstairs, my face still dripping with water, and banged on my flatmates door. \"Jeremy! Jeremy wake up!\" I yelled as I pounded on his door, but it was already open. I found Jeremy staring at his reflection in the mirror, he looked like a ghost, he was usually pale but this was just... white. He turned slowly to me and that's when I saw it. This was no trick of the mind. There was a light flashing in his eye.\n\nI still can't find the words to accurately describe the feeling of standing there, both staring at each other, through each other. It was like the earth fell from under me and I was left there, hovering, scared to look down. When the light stopped flashing a few seconds later, and instead changed to a steady glow, Jeremy let out an audible cry of fear, confusion. We walked to each other. It took almost a full minute to walk across the room. When I reached Jeremy out lights disappeared, and two words briefly flashed infront of my eyes.\n\n\"Syncing Complete\"\n\nThat's the moment we fell in love.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n-------------------\nThanks for reading! If you have any feedback, please comment below.\n\nIf you liked this story, and want to read more, you can find more on Wattpad.\nhttps://www.wattpad.com/user/the_skye_writes\n"
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[WP] You're waiting for your microwaveable spaghetti dinner to finish cooking when the microwave stops with time left. You open the microwave to see that your spaghetti has become a portal to an alternative dimension.
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"It was a typical day. \n\nWork was fine, traffic was backed up, and dinner was leftovers. Louis liked these days, for he was a man who didn't like surprises. He scanned the open refrigerator, and after a while he reached to a plastic container filled with last Monday's spaghetti. \n\"Spaghetti it is.\" he said as he plopped it onto a plate an stuck it into the microwave. He decided to pass the time by looking at his favorite Reddit user u/jlreusch10. Obviously enthralled, several minutes passed until he finally went to open the microwave. \n\"Hmm, that's weird.\" Louis said as he saw 32 seconds still on the light green digital display. \nPulling the handle open he was suddenly sucked into a vacuum-like portal that swung him viciously around. He landed on his feet in front of his chilling fridge opening. After looking down at his phone's clock, he realized he had traveled back 4 minutes and 3 seconds to when he was deciding what he wanted to eat.\n\"Maybe not the spaghetti tonight.\""
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[WP] They drown their demons in a bottle. Literally. Demons are tiny and they're a demon hunter
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"\"See, the trick is... well its just that, its all in the trick. Those little fuckers are smart. Real smart, and if you don't out think them and you cant out drink them, well, you had better have your fiddle and be damn good at playing it because when you find yourself face to... (Goat mask? Seething mountain of plasma that shoots lightening?) ...whatever with their boss, maybe you can squeak out something pathetic enough to get him to laugh, let his guard down, and then maybe you can muster smarts enough to weasel out of there. Thats the best you can hope for because once he found out about our crack Georgia boy we had workin' for us, that 'ol beast well... Aw hell. Anyhow, listen, here is a wide mouth mason jar to get you started, Silas over there will get you started off on your tactics, later comes strategy. Now you just listen to what he has to say and look sharp. I didn't mean to scare you just now, I just wanted you to be aware of our... situation. And stop sitting there looking so slack-jawed, I know its a lot to take in, but walking around like that, it just invites a possession.\""
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[WP] "I burn through friends like a flame does gasoline fumes. A great flash of activity and camaraderie, which slowly fades and dies as they slowly realize who I truly am. That I never change. That I never learn from my mistakes. That the person they first met is always exactly who I am."
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"I reached for her. But she was surrounded by a forcefield of fire that charred my flesh, and I drew back.\n\nEverything she had said was true. We took her in with open arms. We had known who she was, the bad things she had done -- but we believed in her, believed that she could be *better*, and she had betrayed us.\n\n\"But you don't have to be this way!\" I yelled. \"*You're* the one that's responsible for your own choices. *You're* the only one that can decide if you want to continue limiting yourself, or if you want to break free from your past.\" \n\nI stepped closer -- the flames licking at my face, cackling, urging me to come closer. She seethed from inside the inferno, all rage, all burning hate and blazing fury towards something that I couldn't comprehend. \n\n\"I don't know what made you this way, but I'm not giving up on you. I gave up too much...\" \n\nMy friends. My family. I had been the one to bring her into my inner circle; the one that had supported her even as she burned bridge after bridge and cut tie after tie. I never gave up on her, hoping that if she saw how much she was hurting me, after how long I had been there for her, that she would stop. \n\n\"...too much to go back.\" \n\nI take a step forward, and her eyes widen. Another step. The flame greedily tongues my face. My face is drenched with sweat. The heat is unbearable. But I must go on...\n\nAfter all, I have nowhere else to go.\n\nAnother step. I scream as the heat sears my skin and blisters bubble and boil on the surface. I may be hallucinating, but it looks like she slightly shakes her head no, as if saying, *Stop. Don't come any closer...*\n\nAnother step. There's no words to describe the agony I feel. I pass out, but the pain is so intense, it won't let me have that continued peace. I pass out, wake up a second later screaming, pass out, then repeat. \n\nI can't step anymore. My skin wilts. My face melts. My everything hurts beyond description. \n\nI'm hovering on the edge of hell. I can see the abyss - the darkness away from the orange of the flames; the soothing calm away from the pain of the fire. All I need to do is fall off the brink, but the pain has a hold on me. It won't let me go.\n\nBut then, like the tide receding away from the shore, it's gone back to its source, and the source steps forward to touch my cheek. Her fingers are cool and refreshing. The pain immediately subsides, as if ice water has been poured through my veins. I feel numb.\n\nI look up. She looks down. A smile is on her lips and in her eyes as she lifts me to her knees and wraps her arms around me. \n\nI'm too weak to do much but just let her hug me as much as she wants. But if I could move, I would have hugged her back and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. \n\nShe sobs against me, her embrace enveloping me tighter and tighter, as the contact produces warmth, heat...\n\n...fire.\n\n\"Let...go...\" I whisper, my voice weak from the ordeal, as I began to realize that her body, pressed against me, is getting hotter than the normal temperature.\n\n\"The world doesn't appreciate you,\" she sniffles. \"*They* don't appreciate you,\" she says, her tone angry as she squeezes me to her even tighter, my chest and torso heating up as she becomes hotter and hotter. \n\nI feel like I'm hugging a hot steam pipe. Smoke begans to rise from our clothes, and I'm choking on the fumes. My eyes blur, tears fall, as I shake my head weakly, mumbling, \"No...please...no...\"\n\nAnd she ignites. I scream, as we're enveloped in fire.\n"
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[WP] You are suddenly given the choice to become Death, Time, or Space. Which do you become and what happens?
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"I was a fool. \n\nBack when the Eternities were split and the Light of Reality spilled forth, the Great Eye of the Monarch revealed itself to me and offered me a grand choice. \n\nI was a mere spirit then, a slip of an existence and the last hateful remnant of a prior reality. I was lost and empty, seeking a concept to fulfill. \n\nIt offered me three, each great and terrible: Time, Space, Death. \n\nI was such a greedy fool. \n\nI chose Death, for it was Death that I wanted to spread to my enemies, to those who had wronged me and cast me into this shell of an existence. \n\nBut I did not understand until I received the mantle. \n\nDeath, Time, Space. \n\nThese are all words for the same thing. \n\nDeath lies in the march of Time. Time defines the boundaries of Space. Space is the precursor to Death. \n\nIt is all a cycle, and I have been trapped forever. All I can do is wait for the next reality, the next existence to resume. \n\nAnd Curse the Great Eye once more for returning me to who I used to be. "
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[WP] Inside an old diner, in the middle of the night, two strangers strike up a chat. Through the course of time, the topic of religion is brought up. One person looks at the other and says, "there is no God." "How do you know?" "Because I killed him."
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"I smiled, completely confused and caught a little off guard. I was expecting him to suddenly laugh, or wink, or… anything that would tell me he was joking.\n\nBut he held my gaze. His long dark brown hair fell over his blue eyes as he took a drink of his coffee. He left it there for a moment before sweeping it back behind his head with his free hand. After a few more moments, I couldn't take the silence and I decided to humour him.\n\n“You killed God? Like, THE God?” I said with another joking smile. He looked at me solemnly and nodded. “Yeah… I killed him alright…” I laughed awkwardly and took a sip of my drink, shaking my head.\n\nFuck it, I'll humour him. “Okay, so how did you do it?” \n\nHe waited for a moment, it couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it seemed to stretch for what felt like minutes. He had the same level expression, but his eyes narrowed slightly. He eventually sighed to himself and scratched his head, taking another drink. \n\n“Look, I've not done this before, I've never spoken about it. But, there's a first time for everything. I'll make a deal with you now Martin. I'll tell you everything you want to know, all that is within my power, but once our meals arrive and we finish them, I'll leave and you'll never see me again.” It took a second to comprehend what he was saying.\n“Deal?” He asked softly, brushing his hair from his face again.\n\nHere I was, ordering food in a diner, striking up casual conversation with a complete stranger and we've gotten into this. My confused smile still hung on my face as I tried to figure out what was going on. Is this guy serious? If he’s crazy, should I leave? But, after thinking it through, my curiosity was peaked. Well, he’s obviously mental, so why not?\n\n“Fuck it. Deal”\n",
"“And I killed Satan, so I guess we’re two peas in a pod.” Jay chuckled, amused at the quickness of his own wit. \n\n \nEd stared blankly into his coffee, finding no amusement in the exchange, “I suppose you had your reasons, too. How did you do it?”\n\n \n“I read the bible every night and brushed my teeth. How’d you kill God?” Jay scanned the diner for his chorus of laughter. It did not come. The diner was empty, save the righteously murderous companion seated to his left and the waitress, who was standing at the register musing over a half-done crossword puzzle. Ed cracked a smile, but there was no humor in his eyes. \n\n \nSeconds of silence passed into minutes. Jay swirled the coffee in his mug and took a sip. The luke-warm liquid did nothing to cut the unexpected tension in the room. Jay motioned to the waitress, “My coffee is cold. Top me off?” The waitress marched tired feet to Jay, “Honestly, buddy, I’d hold off for the next fifteen, if you can. The next shift is coming in and they’ll be making you a fresh pot of leaded and unleaded when they get here.” “Oh, for fuck sake! I didn’t ask for fresh coffee, did I? Just some hot fucking coffee to top me off.” Jay’s exhaustion had caught up with him; so had his temper. “Christ, guy! Here! Take whatever’s in the pot! Just make sure to leave when you’re done. You’re not doing anyone any favors with that attitude.” She emptied the tailings of the coffee into her disgruntled customer’s mug, spent grounds and all.\n\n \nThe entrance bell jingled and the door slammed shut as a fresh-eyed waitress walked in to begin her shift. “Good mornin’, June! Another night living the dream?” “Yeah, yeah. Just come on back here already so I can count my drawer and leave. It’s been a long one… Wait, did you see Ed leave? He hasn’t paid his check.” \n\n \nJay looked up from his coffee; sure enough, Ed had escaped without notice. The women chattered over him in a whirlwind of shift change. “You’re going to have to be more specific, June. We get a lot of ‘Eds’.” “That night owl priest. Coffee and milk. No sugar.” “Oh, him. No, but it looks like he left money under his cup… And a note. Who’s Jay?” “What?” “Jay. The note’s to a ‘Jay’.” Jay’s ears pricked up at the sound of his name, “That’s me. I’m Jay.”\n\n \nThe waitress handed him the note; it was folded once and was addressed directly to him in capital letters. “I suppose you’ll be cashing out, now that your friend has left.” “He wasn’t my friend, but here. Keep the change”, Jay put a five dollar bill on the counter. He thumbed open the note, curious as to its contents. The waitress starting her shift lingered, “Well, what does it say?” Jay did not look up from the note, “It says 'I killed him when my faith died.’” The waitress shrugged, “Huh. Weird.” He folded the note and pocketed it as he rose to leave, “Yeah. Weird.”"
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[WP] Write a short poem/story that is either very happy or quite sad, but we have no idea which until the very last word.
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"The clouds are beautiful today.\n\nRight now, I lie on my back and stare at the firmament, the grass tickling my back. My arm lazily supports my head while the other holds a fragile, white dandelion. Why am I here, wasting my time on the ground instead of, I don't know, taking a walk? I try to stand up, but my throat makes a disagreeing sound. It's probably from last night.\n\nI remember bits and pieces of it. Jessica's broken up with me, for starters. But that's alright; I've got to keep my options open anyways. Some of my friends from work caught wind of what happened and took me to that fancy bar downtown, with all the new-age drinks. Man, that Not-So-Manhattan tasted like heaven but felt like hell. We partied all night. It was a great evening, but it's probably why I'm feeling not so myself today.\n\nA warm breeze snaps me out of that train of thought. God, I can't help but think about how wonderful the day is. I look back at the dandelion, just beckoning me to blow its seeds into the fluttering wind. My mother used to tell me that, if I blew hard enough, my wishes would go into the seeds and would come true. My mom was the best.\n\nI put the hand my head is resting on to my chest. Why did I make the decision to shoot myself there, instead of my brain? It hurts. Hurts so much. Why did I... Why did I do this? At least...\n\nThe clouds are beautiful today.",
"“Heard joke once: \n\nMan goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. \n\nDoctor says, \"Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.\" Man bursts into tears. \n\nSays, \"But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”",
"I'm nervous, but prepared. I've known this day was coming. I've known it for years, and finally it's here. My name is announced, I stand up and walk towards the piano. I smile at the audience, at my pianist and he begins to play. The familiar melody sweeps over me as I center myself, breathe deeply and start to sing. \n\n>Des yeux qui font baisser les miens\n\n>Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche\n\n>Voilà le portrait sans retouche\n\n>De l'homme auquel j'appartiens...\n\nAll eyes are on me. I've hooked them.\n\n>Quand il me prend dans ses bras\n\nIt's strange to have everyone looking at you. \n\n>Il me parle tout bas\n\nIt's strange that music can emanate from your body. \n\n>Je vois la vie en rose\n\nThere's a feeling of, \"Am I doing this? Is that really me? Is that *my* voice?\" I fight to not lose myself in my thoughts. \n\n>Il me dit des mots d'amour\n\nI focus on my breathing... \n\n>Des mots de tous les jours\n\non the words...\n\n>Et ça me fait quelque chose...\n\non phrasing and shaping the melody, on playing with the audience with my eyes. \n\n>Il est entré dans mon cœur\n\nI try not to show my nerves in my face, the climax is coming...\n\n>Une part de bonheur\n\n*Deep breath, let it soar*\n\n>Dont je connais la cause\n\nI remember everything she taught me. She's in the front row, mouthing \"beautiful\" and blowing me a kiss. I knew I could sing it well for her. I have to. I am! \n\n>C'est lui pour moi, \n\n>moi pour lui dans la vie\n\n>Il me l'a dit, \n\n>l'a juré pour la vie\n\nYes, the hard part is over. Finish well, forget the audience, sing it for her.\n\n>Et dès que je l'aperçois\n\n>Alors je sens en moi\n\nMaybe I'd sung that song a hundred times but never as well as right now, the time that it matters, or maybe it doesn't. They audience is applauding, smiling, crying, and once I sit down and look up at her photo draped in black I start to cry too. \n\n>Mon cœur qui bat ",
"Her screams fill the air.\n\nA nurse greets us at the doors and\n\nWe are raced through the halls to an operating table.\n\nThey allow me to don scrubs and stay by her side.\n\nHer screams fill the air.\n\nThe doctor says words and his nurses return them\n\nBut all I can see is her face flushed in pain as\n\nHer screams fill the air.\n\nThey won't let me see the blood but\n\nIt's so thick I think I can smell it.\n\nThe doctor hunches over her and cuts,\n\nThe sweat on his brow trickling into my eyes.\n\nHer screams fill the air.\n\nAfter countless eternities it is finished.\n\nHer screams have stopped.\n\nMy heart has stopped.\n\nAll time has stopped and there is only\n\nSilence\n\nAnd then\n\nHis screams fill the air.\n\n*****\n\n[Thy fate is truly terrible...](https://www.reddit.com/r/BensTerribleFate/)",
"Live for today, not for tomorrow\n\nCluster of emotions, all but sorrow\n\nRemember how we'd dance and sing?\n\nOr that time I made you laugh after that bee sting?\n\nA tear drops from my face onto yours, as your face sits in the shadow of mine\n\nThis is just one of many mountains I'll have to climb\n\nSo much to do, so much to say\n\nI've never been a man of faith, but this time I'll pray\n\nLow sobs behind me, our families are waiting in angst\n\nFor they are waiting for me to wake you, to ask if you would be my bride \n\nHere I go, wish me luck\n\n\"Hey dear, wake up.\"\n\n*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~*",
"\" Hello, my name is Amir and I have been clean for 4 years.\" Loud applause echoed the room. Five years ago I joined the rehabilitation, it truly turned my life around. Now I give speeches to recovering addicts, trying to inspire them.\n\n\"My story starts 1996. A big day for my family. After working two jobs, for the most of his life, my father could afford a house for us. Not a flat downtown or a mansion but a small place in a quite neighborhood. Big enough for me and my 2 sisters not to have to share a room. While everyone was excitedly packing their belongings, I was nowhere to be seen. Neither was the money for the down-payment. I don't know where I was that day. All I do know is that once again I had a simple choice to make. My family or heroin. I choose the needle. Next day they were back in the small apartment and I found myself on the streets. I didn't mind. I could spend some nights at Dave's place and I had enough money for my fix, all that mattered to me. \n\nWhat I didn't know is that I had much money for my own good. Dave died. It could have been me. It was scary, not because I lost my friend but because he is the one that would get me the supply. Now I needed to get it myself. When I say needed, I really do mean it. The way thirsty Bedouin needs water or a starving African food, no, way worse then that. The fact that I had no idea where to go did not stop me. Heading to doggiest areas I knew asking the shadiest looking people\nif they had any. Well its needless to say I got robbed and beaten. \n\nWaking up in the hospital bed was the most comfortable feeling I had in months. Probably due to the meds they gave me. I only hoped my family is not there. Seeing their disappointed faces again is the last thing I wanted. Things were not going according to my liking so far, neither did this. My mother was there. Later I heard my father forbid my sisters to see me but he could not stop mom. She hugged me, telling me she loves me and is happy I am alive. They heard of Dave and thought I shared his faith.\n\nFamily took me back in. This time more aware of the gravity of my situation. I was forced to go to rehab and later enroll to college. My mother would drive me to class and then straight back home. I was never alone. \n\nYou do not get clean by stooping being an addict. You never stop being an addict, but you can be addicted to cleaner drugs. For me it was bit of love for my family, a little bit my education, but mostly Marie. Classmate back then, now a loving wife. \n\nIf I could do it, so can you. We graduated together earlier this year. Two masters of economics. In eight months my father will become a grandfather. For the first time, he is proud of me.\n\nMarie and me are set to take all the challenges that come our way. The future could not be more exciting. We will work together. Starting tomorrow we will be junior marketing analysts in a major corporation. On on side I will have my wonderful wife, on the other, the best view in lower Manhattan.\"\n \n\n",
"He walked like someone who knew that they could fly above it all but still chose to walk. \n\nHe talked like someone who had already faced the darkest of life and now was going to see the wonderful.\n\nHe smiled like someone who had already found their future away in the sky where nobody else saw.\n\nWhen I first saw him, I didn't know what to say. His hazel eyes stared back at me, and he gave me a brief nod. I walked over to him, unsure of what to say. I had never felt love before, but suddenly I *understood*. \n\nWe laughed for hours together, and we flew away into the sky. He understood. He felt. He knew everything I said, and I melted into his arms. We floated up and away and he was everything I wanted- everything I needed.\n\nBut then I woke up and he was no more- he floated away into the sky, and I pleaded him to come back. \n\nI was alone. \n\n~\n\nHey, so I started a tumblr ! I don't know how to really tumblr but you can find some more stuff I write here ! I also write about how terrible my life is in narrative form yay! https://iridescentraindrop.tumblr.com/\n",
"I dragged the armless, legless man out of the trenches. The man was a plow, his bloodied stumps leaving looping furrows in the soupy dirt. My breath pounded like that of a malnourished oxen, dragging its way through a field ready to yield a crop of shrapnel corn and bloody tulips. \n\nI could barely hear his breath when I dragged him onto the operating table. But it came, a slight whistling from that ruined hulk of meat and metal. I set about my grim routine, peeling away layer after layer of armor plating and uniform until the raw flesh was laid bare. \n\nDespite the technology at my disposal, I knew and made myself resigned. I pushed away the operating tools, the IVs, and left only the painkillers. Water, polluted by a thick cloud of opiander, was loaded into a steel tube, and administered straight into the man's sallow chest. \n\nA few gasps. His eyes, a pair of dull emeralds, became clogged with awareness. Skin softened, the fog of pain lifting itself from his mind. The stumps swiveled. Nonexistent arms sought out warmth amidst the cold steel. Leg nerves screamed against a charred wall, straining towards the battlefield like the brackish high tide.\n\nA few moments, and I thought I wasn't looking at a man anymore. I thought I was looking at a droid, a piece of machinery well passed its expiration date. There was no other sign of life, only the repetition. The limbs, moving back and forth and back and forth. Like broken oars. A small ship, sailing deeper and deeper into unknown, black depths.\n\nThen, there was a gasp. The expulsion of lifeless air from cracked lips.\n\n\"Doc?\"\n\nHe had a deep baritone. A smooth, musical tone that tickled my ears and paved over the dust-choked air. \n\n\"*Ja?*\"\n\n\"Doc, how much am I gonna need?\"\n\nI looked him over.\n\n\"Arms and legs.\"\n\n\"My *eyes*, Doc,\" he gasped. \"I can't *see*. Is it... permanent?\" His voice became jumpy, full of twisted, eager energy.\n\nI stared down at the dead irises.\n\n\"*Ja*. Eyes too, Corporal.\"\n\nThe man's mouth twisted into a grin.\n\n\"*Wunderbar*,\" he breathed, and started to laugh. \"New arms, legs, and eyes. That bastard Luka's gonna eat his metal heart out.\"\n\nI placed my hands against the man's chest. The steel chrome of my fingers shined in the light, and I couldn't help but laugh as well.\n\n\"Three weeks is a long time from the field, Corporal. More if you want alloy reinforcement.\"\n\n\"It's worth it, Doc,\" he said. \"Gotta tell the wife. She'll be ecstatic. I'm gonna go *ubermensch*, you just watch.\"\n\nHis head leaned back against the table, happiness etched across his hollow cheeks and blind eyes.\n\n\"Best day of my life, Doc.\"\n\n",
"The sun was shining. It was warm on my face, and I squinted from the intensity of it. School had just let out, and I had nowhere to be. I wasn't headed in any particular direction. I was just aimlessly wandering the streets of my small town to kill time and take in the beautiful summer day.\n\nIn the distance I saw that a crowd had gathered in the street, so I drew closer to see what the commotion was about. As I sauntered closer and closer, I began to make out wailing and panicked screams. I furrowed my brow. \n\nI made my way through the crowd. I was lithe and small, so no one seemed to pay me any mind. As I came to the centre of the crowd, I saw people wailing and holding the body of a small child. I could only see the child's shoes.\n\nIt seemed they had been hit by a car, the driver was running his hands through his hair. Tears flew freely down his face, and his face reeked of guilt and anguish for what he had done, but I found myself transfixed on the shoes. \n\nThose shoes. They were mine.\n",
"*I am finally where I want to be*, I think to myself, as I wake up beside her. After all this time, it's still a bit of a surprise, a reminder of the college days when Lea would sneak into my room after I'd gone to sleep. Everything is soft and golden, from the morning sunlight to the strands of her hair on the pillowcase. I kiss her shoulder and she rolls over, blue eyes blinking into wakefulness. \"Going to work, babe?\" \"Yeah. Love you.\" \"See you tonight. Love you too.\" God, she's my whole world.\n\n\nChris meets me at the subway station as usual, perfecting the balance of speed-walking and coffee-drinking that you won't find anywhere else but here. \"Morning, Matt.\" \"Morning, Chris. Another beautiful day, huh?\" \"Totally. Hey, you know that cute barista at the one place? She totally remembered my order today. Dude.\" \"Dude.\" Chris is a goofball, but he makes work so much better. We ride to work in silence, swaying back and forth with the rhythm of a New York morning. The subway is always full of life– children, parents, young professionals, creative types, crazies, artists, businessmen, students, lovers. Humans. \n\n\nI don't know what it is, but something in the air today makes me think of the future. Maybe it's the crisp edge to the sunlight, that chill that reminds me of the changing of seasons. Time marches on, but I am finally where I want to be. Winter will come– snow in Central Park, skating with Lea, flying home to see my family. Then spring– Lea gets her master's and we move to a nicer apartment, one that allows dogs. Summer– we've been saving up for a trip to Europe. Our fourth anniversary. It's still a ways off, but I'm thinking I might propose. \n\n\nBut for now it's just me and Chris, headed to another day of work, stepping out onto our floor as the elevator pings softly behind us. I set my backpack down below my desk and attempt to organize the mess of papers in front of me. There's some forms I've been meaning to get around to. \"Chris, what day is it? September 12?\" \"It's Tuesday, right? Yeah. So the 11th.\"",
"A simple silver bracelet\n\nShe holds it to the light\n\nIt gleams\n\nShe smiles\n\n\"I love it!\" she says\n\nShe takes his hand\n\nAnd holds it against her face\n\n\"You know me so well!\" she says\n\nShe strokes his face\n\n\"I love you,\" she says\n\nAnd places the bracelet on his bloodied chest\n\n\n",
"*Tick-tock* *tick-tock*, the sound of the clock was ever-present as the soft patter of the rain against my window woke me up. Looks like another storm was brewing, but it didn't matter, I didn't have work and Trinity didn't have school on weekends. \n\nI peered at the clock and noted that the time was 9:43 AM, I guess I woke up a little later than usual. I got out of my bed, put on some shorts, and made my way downstairs to start making breakfast. This was the usual process ever since Trinity's mom stepped out of our lives a couple months ago, she told me that I shouldn't blame myself, but she was in tears, I wonder why.\n\nEither way, it gave Trinity and me a lot more time to get the father-daughter bonding we've been craving and even though Elaine was no longer here, we were still happy even though the woman we both loved was gone. I probably should stop getting sappy, the pancakes won't make themselves.\n\nTrinity *loves* chocolate-chip pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse, that mouse has been her favorite thing since she was 3 years old and she can't get enough of it. I grabbed her favorite cup that had all the Disney characters drawn into it with short little \"did you know?\" facts inscribed next to them. Keeping her educated on all things Disney is a good thing and a bad thing though, her little chatterbox won't stop going off when we see a movie and I can tell the theater residents were getting pretty annoyed at the fact that my little girl was trying to make sure the new live-action movies got it right.\n\nShe never got on neither mine nor Elaine's nerves though, in fact, we were always proud of her for trying to keep the masses educated on the Disney movies. \n\nI grabbed the pancake mix and chocolate chips out of the pantry and placed them next to the stove. I made my way over to the fridge and grabbed the milk. with quickness and with ease I was able to fill up my daughter's cup *and* mix the milk in with the pancake mix. \n\nI poured most of the mix onto the pan saving some for the ears that I had to make. I had to make them *just* right lest she criticize the crap outta me. We have fun bickering with each other though, it keeps us both on our toes. Elaine mistook it most of the time as us seriously fighting, but then she would always see us laugh at her for believing that we'd actually argue with each other. \n\nIt's always been fun and games with Trinity even in times where I'd be in a serious crunch for work she'd always find a way to make me smile. Whether it be her making funny faces at me or just saying some tidbit about some recent live-action remake of a Disney movie. \n\nEven though she was only 10 years old, she sure was smart. I wonder what she'd be like in high school and if she'd continue being smarter than her peers. It's the usual parent overblowing their child, but she really *was* a special child and I could only hope that she'd be a fine young woman when she grows up. \n\nI still have the habit of apologizing to her though, even before Elaine left. I couldn't help but always be sorry for some reason. Maybe that's why Elaine left.\n\nI grabbed the pancakes out of the pan and put them on a plate. I took Trinity's breakfast upstairs and placed it at the foot of her room, she liked it like that. I knocked on her door.\n\n\"Hey sweetie,\" I called into the closed door. \"Your breakfast is ready, make sure it doesn't get cold.\"\n\nI left without saying another word and made my way back downstairs. I grabbed the toast I subconsciously placed in the toaster and sat down to read my morning newspaper which found its way inside. A quick glance at the date made it seem weird, I mean, this was dated on October 12, 2016, today's date is April 24, 2017.\n\nI decided to read the headline, maybe it was just a simple mistake made by the editor and they were just lost in a trance.\n\n**MAJOR FOUR-CAR PILEUP ON THE 805 WEST. 3 CRITICALLY INJURED, 1 DEAD.**\n\nHmm. I remember hearing about this, where was I when it happened? I continued reading maybe the story would be able to jog my memory.\n\n**A horrific scene on the 805 happened yesterday evening as a car going down the wrong way of the interstate resulted in the injuries of 3 people and the death of one as of now. 8 people were involved in this crash, a family of 3, two couples, and the, now confirmed, drunk driver who went the wrong way. Some people were able to remain luckily unscathed in the crash, save for four. One couple driving their car sustained critical wounds to their abdomen which were sustained by the car crushing their chest from the sudden compression. The husband of the family of 3 sustained a massive blow to the head, doctors are unsure on whether or not he'll survive and be the same as before the crash. It saddens me to report that his daughter was killed in the crash, her wounds were not attended to in time and she was pronounced dead on arrival at the nearest hospital that was available. This is all that's been made available to us so far, continue subscribing to the San Diego Tribune for more information as we get it.**\n\nI folded the newspaper neatly and placed it back down on the table, that was an interesting read for sure, but I still can't remember what we were doing that night.\n\nI made my way back upstairs to see if Trinity had gotten to eat her food, but it was still sitting there at the foot of her door. \n\n\"Wake up sweetie, your pancakes are gonna get cold,\" I warned her.\n\nShe didn't call back out in response or complain or anything.\n\nI opened the door to see what her problem was, maybe she wasn't feeling too good. I peeked inside of her room which was neatly done and organized by her, but I still didn't get a good view of the bed.\n\nI cracked the door open some more and found her bed made with no sign of where she was at. Then the memories struck me, these harder than the previous times. I fell back onto the wall across her room.\n\nThat's right, I can't believe I forgot. It's my fault that I couldn't get to the back in time to cover her. It's my fault that I couldn't avoid the guy speeding toward us. \n\nIt's my fault that my little angel is gone.\n",
"I had a friend once. I didn't have many friends before him.\n\nI used to take money from people. It was my job; I wasn't stealing any money from people, (well, maybe the government was) but I might as well have been Satan incarnate. Everyone I worked with hated me. And I, for the most part, hated my job. I was completely alone and I was shunned by my people. No one was friendly to me...\n\nExcept him.\n\nHe met me at work one day, when I had about half a dozen people yelling at me. And he came right up to me, and get this, he says just two words. He says \"follow me.\" And I had heard of this guy before; he was pretty well known around the city, and the government hated him, and most of the people loved him. So I turn to one of my coworkers and I say, \"You've got this,\" and I get up and I follow the guy.\n\nAnd when I say this, I am being completely honest. He treated me like I was worth the world. That man loved me as though I was his brother. We ate together, we lived together, and we traveled the country. Because I was with him, people thought I was worth something too. They'd ask me to speak on his behalf, and they asked me to give my friend gifts for them. Even just touching my clothes would make those people ecstatic.\n\nAnd then my friend said some things they didn't like. The crowds that had treated him like a celebrity before suddenly weren't too hot on the idea of spending time with my friend. And I might as well have been in my old job; lots of people suddenly hated me again. My friend was arrested, the few friends I had made all disappeared underground, and I was nearly mugged myself a few times during that weekend.\n\nThat Friday, I gather enough courage to venture outside and out of the city, and I see my friend executed, with a crowd of people *standing there, cheering on his death.* I hope you've never seen one of your friends put to death, but if you have, you know how gut-wrenching it feels. I cried. It was horrible, and I too escaped. I hid underground, and I thought it was over.\n\nAnd then Mary came, pounding on my door, yelling the best news of my life; she burst into the room we were in and proclaimed that she had seen Jesus, and he was alive!"
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(the title is fairly self explanatory)
Edit- After Millennia, you have gotten incredibly bored and decide to spice up your routine
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[WP]You are the last member of an ancient order of cosmic beings that guide the dying into the afterlife. After millennia, you have gotten bored.
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[
"Looking out over the downtown core, Minos sighed. His shoulders slumped and he tilted his head slightly back, just enough to see the slightly cloudy blue sky above. Fisting his hands, he looked down to the cement ground, clenched his jaw and shook his head. Anyone looking at him might think he was mad by the way his lips were scrunched to the side and downwards, but those who knew him would know that look well: boredom. Letting his fists unclench, relaxing his expression and looking back up to the frozen scene ahead of him, he drew in a deep breath, held it in, and sighed.\n\nLooking straight ahead to the developing scene, he easily inferred what was about to happen: a bus was crossing the tracks of a Light Rail Train. The moment he let time continue, the train would slam right into the middle of the bus and instantly kill everyone in its path. The bus would be cut in half and a few of the passengers in the back would be flung forward. Two would be lucky and smash into the side of the moving train, their necks breaking before the pain of their faces being smeared over the train’s side could start. One unlucky one would be flung under the train and cut in half. The front of the bus would be thrown into the side of the closest office building, right through the front of the Second Cup killing the driver and four onlookers outside of the bus. The train would derail and the first car would jump the tracks. There would be lots of injuries (nothing he cared about) but a few more broken necks, a heart attack, a miscarriage, and the start of a stroke that would only be fatal a few days later. He, of course, would be there to collect her soul at that time.\n\nMinos had been taking the living to the Afterlife for millennia, not that time mattered to an ancient creature such as himself. Not only that, but for him the words ‘linear’ and ‘time’ didn’t mean anything together. Right then he was going to aid the souls in 2017, but the next soul he helps could be thousands of years in the future, or a hundred thousand the past.\n\n“Come on!” He gasped, exasperated.\n\nHis friends were gone, he was the last of his kind—that wasn’t quite true. Again, linearity and his species didn’t quite jive. He was the last of his kind for now. When one did appear, he was going to hand the title of Death to them, at least for a little while. As bored as he was, he did enjoy helping souls crossing from one world to the next. He liked it infinitely more than being the god, or goddess, of a pathetic race of people.\n\nSkulking childishly, he approached the soon-to-be grizzly scene of blood, meaty bits and severed things. As he approached, he looked at all the faces of those who will be dead in just seconds, and those whose deaths would take a little time. Most looked far away, absorbed in their own imaginations, while a few others looked as bored as he felt. One, the driver of the train, had a look of sheer panic. He knew what was about to happen.\n\nMinos smirked, but it was hollow and fake. He couldn’t even muster up the enjoyment he normally would take in this. There was something amusing about watching a human’s face being ground into meat when physics took over, but not today. Today, being Death was just a job. As fun and stimulating as flipping burgers at some crappy McJob.\n\nHe blinked from outside in front of the train into the bus, and sighed a third time. There, in the middle, sat a slightly overweight, balding, forty-some-year-old male. They were the worst, always asking stupid questions expecting Minos to make him alive again.\n\nMinos leaned in and stopped an inch from the man’s face, eye to eye. The man, frozen, couldn’t see him. “What’s happened? I demand to know what’s going on here?” He asked in a higher pitched voice.\n\n“You died, sir. Horrifically, I might add.”\n\n“I can’t be! I have too much to do!” He mocked. “You have to send me back!”\n\n“Sure. I’ll just send you back to a body that is literally a bloody, jellied, meaty mess—oh, wait, no I won’t. You really don’t have anything to do now.”\n\n“But my family! My friends! My work! They can’t function without meeee!”\n\n“they will.” Minos said and shrugged. “They’ll be dead sooner than later. Maybe you’ll see them.”\n\n“But I was a good man! Don’t I deserve a second chance?” Minos mocked, rolled his eyes and stood up straight. “Your human morality is of no concern to me. Shouldn’t be to you, either. You’re well beyond those mortal, and utterly stupid, concepts.”\n\n“What happens to me now?” Minos narrated. “I take you to the door, you step through, and poof! Your next life, whatever that may be, begins!”\n\nMinos shook his head and blinked out to the sidewalk beside a young teenage girl. She would die of a Fentanyl overdose in three years at her seventeenth birthday party her parents gave permission for. He rolled his eyes and looked back to the scene. “Always the same questions. Always the same pleads for forgiveness and second chances.” He tilted his head. “Well, at least on the bright side, they no longer grovel at my feet. Fuck that’s annoying.”\n\n“Alright.” He said. “Time to get this done.”\n\nA moment later, screams filled the downtown core.\n",
"“Shifts!” Echelon yelled to no one in particular. “That’s what humans have—they work in shifts! Somebody works for a while, then somebody else takes over and that first person gets a break!”\n\nEchelon looked around the empty astral plane and, of course, nobody answered. Stars, geometric patterns, and the odd quark blinked and unblinked, but nobody cared. Echelon was alone on the plane. He was alone in general. And he was the guide into the afterlife--a thankless piece of crap job that Echelon cursed every day of his piece of crap existence.\n\n“Whatever,” Echelon said. “Guess ol’ Echelon will have to keep things real in the purgatory between life and death. It’s time to have some fun. I think I’ve earned it. I’ve worked every damn day for over millennia! Who the hell am I talking to?”\n\nEchelon strolled up to a bubbling string portal that birthed itself to life. Confused, a large group of recently deceased humans entered the astral realm. Some were frightened; some were excited; others were a combination of horrified and confused. The group of the dead all seemed to spot Echelon at the same time. He was tough to miss—a shifting and jutting polygon of refracted light that vaguely resembled one of those stupid stereotypical medieval knights. The look was Echelon’s idea. It was better than walking around in a robe and sandals, or looking like a shadow demon (he predecessor’s style).\n\n“Welcome,” Echelon bellowed to the group, “to the afterlife! Oohhhhhhhhhhhhh.”\n\nA mousy woman spoke up: “Where are—“\n\n“No talking!”\n\nEchelon put on his most serious face—which just looked like a different combination of refracting light. But make no mistake—it was a serious face, indeed, if you could see it.\n\n“My name is Echelon. My purpose is to bring you to the realm of the afterlife.”\n\nThe group started to look happy. Suckers.\n\n“Stop smiling! Get ready for your world to rock like a boat thing in a watery puddle place, because it ain’t so great, my recently dead fools.”\n\n“What do you mean?” someone murmured.\n\n“No talking! And what do I mean? I—uh, well, for one, there’s a-a-a-great war! Yes, that’s it! And you will all fight!”\n\nThe group gasped! Echelon could barely conceal his laughter through his shape-shifting fractal mouth.\n\n“Yes,” Echelon continued, “you must fight the demons of Hell! And the demons of the Greek Underworld! And all the other bad places! Man, there are demons all over the damn place and they ain’t nice! They’ll kill you!”\n\n“But we’re dead, right?” a young man asked.\n\n“Well, yes, technically,” Echelon stammered, “but you can go to a worse place if you die in this battle with the demons. Super Hell! You die and go there. I know a guy there. He doesn’t like it one bit. Just got off the phone with him—a dead world phone.”\n\nThe group was speechless.\n\n“We must all work together to stop this threat. ONLY THEN will you all enjoy a place of fluffy clouds, cheap sandwiches, and sex stuff, if that’s your thing. Follow me!”\n\nWith a hop to his polygonal step, Echelon led the terrified group across the astral plane and toward a growing ray of light.\n\nEverything Echelon said was complete crap, of course. Everyone would see that as soon as they stepped through the doorway into the afterlife. It wasn’t a land of clouds, but it wasn’t a land of demons sending you to Super Hell, of course. Whatever. Echelon didn’t really care what they thought of their eternal existence. He just needed to guide them there. Echelon wasn’t even sure WHY he had to guide people to the afterlife. It’s a straight shot from the bubbling portal to the light. Even a baby (which he got plenty of) could figure it out.\n\nEchelon guided the timid group into the light, and as soon as the last person was through he began to play back his little joke inside of his head. He’d have to improve upon the lie to make it that perfect combination of unbelievable and believable. If he could get half the group arguing with the other half as to whether Echelon was telling the truth… THAT would be the ultimate joke.\n\nEchelon snapped out of his giggle fit when he heard a scream come from the portal. Echelon darted through the light and into the afterlife realm.\n\n“No!” Echelon screamed.\n\nLying at his feet were the welcome spirits—rather, what was left of the welcome spirits. Their dismembered and battered bodied lay lifeless, welcoming no one. How could the welcoming spirits be dead? Echelon pondered this question as he followed a path of mayhem and destruction from the entrance portal all the way to the gate of the afterlife. Nothing but death and destruction met his eyes.\nThe hysterical screams and chants of voices echoed from the gates. Echelon pursued the voices until he come upon his group of duped dead people.\n\n“What’s going on here?” Echelon demanded of the mousy woman from his group.\n\n“I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some lying demons send me to Super Hell! We’re taking back the afterlife! Death to the destructors!”\n\nThe mousy woman hollered and sprinted off into the distance, joining her hysterical comrades in their quest for misguided victory.\n\n“Shifts!” Echelon called out to no one in particular again “Would it have killed them to work us in shifts!?”\n"
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[WP]...And this is your tape
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[
"\"thanks\" his voice cracked, as he stared at it.\n\nA faded blue label read *'1002907'*. Its sharp corners were worn smooth, its ridges rubbed out. He clutched the VHS to his chest as if it were dragon's gold. He hurried home, not wanting to linger in the streets, near shadows that seemed to wait for any opportunity to snatch his treasure. \n\"I'm home\" he said to the empty house. Kicking off his shoes, he absentmindedly smelled the tape. Sooty plastic, and a citrusy chemical tang. \n\nWhat would it be this time? Full House? Law and Order?\n\n\nEver since the great shutdown, all media had become a precious commodity. Gigabytes upon terabytes of Jerry Springer, West Wing, Angry Beavers, Twin Peaks, Catfished, gone. Your Billy Wilder and your Michael Bay, Survivor and Twilight Zone and Jeopardy alike, all were gone. It was rumored that there existed massive backups somewhere, perhaps in an old Hulu building, but those places were dangerous. You never knew what people would do to get their hands on media. \n\nHe shivered at the thought, pushing it out of his head. \n\nHe pushed in the tape and hit the play button, huddled next to the small CRT, volume barely a whisper. The picture flickered in and out, scan lines cascading over white noise, until it clicked into place. \n\n\"Who's the big boy? Who is it?\" A laughing face filled the screen. \nThere is a table. Several small humans sit around it. \nThey are wearing party hats, balloons fill the room.\nThey all start singing, then stop. \"Blow out the candles, honey\" the same voice says. The female bends over and kisses one of the small humans on the head. The child fusses, she laughs and tousles his hair. \nThe camera slowly zooms in on them, the mother and the child, together. \n\nHe stares, transfixed. \n\nHe sat there for a long time, long after the picture had returned to noise."
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[WP] Immortals playing Russian roulette.
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[
"Mortimer spun the barrel, eyeing his opponent. They stared across at each other. Mortimer slapped his hand against the gun and the barrel stopped. Mortimer cocked the gun and placed it down. He spun the gun on the table, in the middle, right along a white chalk line. It slowly came to a stop pointing to his opponent. The man picked it up.\n\nBANG!\n\nThe man shook his head and set the gun down. Mortimer took the gun and placed it to his temple.\n\nBANG!\n\nMortimer was swallowed by the blackness. He appeared in the same white room but instantly walked over to the table and closed the book. \n\nMortimer opened his eyes. His blood covered himself. He grinned at his opponent who took the gun. He put it to his head and pulled the trigger.\n\nBANG!\n\nThe man sneezed and handed the weapon back. Mortimer did not pause.\nBANG!\n\nMortimer closed the book and opened his eyes. It was a lot of blood. He gave the device back.\n\nBANG!\n\nMortimer took the pistol and fired once more.\n\nBANG!\n\nHe flipped the book closed and opened his eyes. He looked at Ver-dun.\n\n“I don’t get what is so fun about this game.”\n\n“I am fairly certain that A: other people would perish after the first bullet-.”\n\n“Duh.”\n\n“And B: I don’t think all the chambers are loaded.”\n\n“Oh. Round Two?”\n"
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[WP] ''Hold my beer'' - God
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[
"Ted sipped the god beer, and contemplated his existence. It was middling beer at best. Cold enough, maybe a little flat, light and hoppy but far too light. Kinda pisswater, really. If it hadn't descended from the clouds to a sea of cherubs singing its praises it would be a pretty average beer. Ted would probably not pay bar prices for the god beer. \n\nTed knew his creator, and his creator had shit taste. Ted was the product of shit taste. Tears fell into the god beer, making the pisswater even more pissy. He considered finding a better beer for god, his fridge was stalked with a plethora of brewed delights, but for questioning his lord he was struck down where he stood, and he would not be mourned. In a sea of singing cherubs god's hand reached down to ted's carcass and retrieved the beer. \n\nGod sipped the god beer, and contemplated his existence. Nobody survived holding the god beer and he didn't know why. His parties were lonely and sad, and even the god beer couldn't cheer him up, no matter how much lighter he made it. The cherubs sang praises to his loneliness, and god regretted giving them free reign to praise things. Ted resurrected and was struck down again but it didn't make god feel any better, and he cried into his shitty beer. ",
"Friedrich Nietzsche took His perfectly chilled beer and watched as God slowly started rolling down the hill, the chattering rhythm of His longboard's wheels getting faster and faster as He picked up speed. But just as God was disappearing from view, Freddy saw exactly what he feared: speed wobbles. \n\nFreddy chased after Him, but only found the bloody aftermath. God had lost control and collided with the barrier. Evidently head first, judging by the pink drizzle oozing from His head. Freddy kneeled beside Him and took His pulse. Nothing. \n\n\"God is dead,\" he sighed, and took a heavy slug from His perfectly chilled beer.",
"\"Hold my beer\", said the lord. He waved his mighty hand to the blonde angel beside him. The angel bowed gracefully, his wings glimmering in the light of the almighty god.\n\n\"Yahweh, my lord; what do you plan on doing?\" Gabriel asked, in a shakey tone. He worshiped him with praise no matter what; however gabriel felt unsure about this one decision.\n\n\"I plan on eradicating these vermin.\" Saith the lord, \"They killed my lovely humans long enough.\" Gabriel showed an emotion that could be only be called surprised, then he shook with anxiety.\n\n\"But my Lord--\" Gabriel sputtered, \"The angel worked tirelessly coming up with those designs. Even Jesus got in on this. Michael too.\"\n\n\"Gabriel, my servant, you know that I am all-knowing and all powerful.\" Saith the lord, \"Trust in me, the lord, your rock.\" \n\n\"Ok, my lord.\" Said gabriel. He looked down below the clouds to see reptilian creatures of massive size crawl around on the earth. There were many reptilian creatures roaming the earth ever since god flooded it that one time. Poor things. The ground on earth shook and trembled as cracks began to form.\n\n\"Is it the rapture already? Who blew the horn?\" Screamed a voice in heaven.\n\n\"Relax, my child. My son jesus hasn't died for the sins of the mortals yet.\" God said to ease the other angels's nerves. He looked at gabriel and gabriel saw god in all his glory.\n\n\"Watch this.\" Saith the lord. Gabriel could only watch in awe at a flash of light in space. He squinted his eyes and used his holy eyes to see what is really was.\n\n\"Is---is that a giant rock?\" Gabriel asked? He noticed god's light grew so bright that it even blinded gabriel for a second.\n\n\"Pretty cool right?\" Saith the lord.\n\n\"But it's headed towards earth. Your creation.\" Gabriel spoke. God showed gabriel an expression that could only be read as \"Yes, And?\"\n\n\"Gabriel, I promised not to flood the earth again. I never said I couldn't send a meteor to it.\" Said god. Gabriel couldn't argue with that. His lord is a god of promises after all. \n\n\"Now.\" God said with a smile. His light grew brighter and brighter until all of heaven rejoiced, \"I've said this in the beginnning and I'll say it again. LET THERE BE LIGHT.\"",
"\"It's dark and lonely now. I'm on Chicago, south of town. Probably going to be on to Indiana. Weed and beer do shit to you.\"\n\n\nClick.\n\n\nThat was the last I heard of Ron. Bastard died in a car accident mere minutes later. He was in an old Corolla. It was hit head-on by a Range Rover. Driver claimed to have slightly scratched it, but even a person on a good mountain or so of drugs could see that the car was smashed to shit. I moved on from the incident fairly quickly. I don't know why, but I just did. I did- like some internal voice was just telling me to let it go. It had no importance to me. Ever since I'd heard that voice, I'd occasionally dream of a white light and and a hand holding either weed or beer. Always accompanying those dreams of the hand holding beer, a thunderous yet light voice would tell me \"Hold my beer.\"\n\n\nBeen too afraid to go near anything that contained alcohol even more. Even wine. I always wanted to live a life of no drinking because of the hangovers, but now I'm falling into some superstition shit that's just bolstering my desire of abstinence from alcohol.\n\n\nGod.",
"\"Lucifer, hold my beer\"\n\n\"What for sir?\" Asks Lucifer as he grabs the cold beverage from his masters hands.\n\n\"Watch this\"\n\n'And in the beginning, god created heaven and earth'.\n\nAll of the sudden Lucifer starts to fade...\n\n\"What the -?\"\n\n\"Oh, and you'll go down there with them\"\n\nLucifer fully disappears with a final pop. \n\n\"No one questions the Almighty.\"\n\n-hic-",
"I've met death before. He was very patient, and almost courteous as if Death itself was aware of the future. Time was different, he was there and all around us was light. I could hardly make out the blurry figure, but he was dark and holding a staff. I recognized the figure and in my mind knew that it was death. Then the light would dim just a touch. At first I thought he was fading, or that I was fading, my consciousness was leaving my body. But as the light dimmed I made out another figure. White, invisible before because of how bright it was. If Death was the lack of light, this was the source of it. \"Hold my beer.\" It said. \"What?\" I thought, unable to speak. I looked back at Death and it smiled back, I saw another white figure in the darkening sky and a sudden rush of air gushed up my nose. I began coughing, followed by cheers and sighs of relief. I'll never forget that smile, it was so... courteous.",
"Satan smiled at God, the kind of smile that you give to your opponent after you pulled off a superb move. Many miles below them, the inhabitants of earth were dancing, with their hands raised up in the air and their eyes closed. It was the party of the century. Standing on a platform above them all, a man in suit watched the people and beamed. It was the proudest day of his life, just as it was for Satan.\n\n\"So, what do you think of my work?\" Satan asked, before taking a sip out of his cup. Hell brewed whisky, guaranteed to give your throat a satisfying burn all the way down.\n\nGod looked at his cheap alcohol free beer, getting drunk was forbidden in heaven, and then back to his creation. A few weeks ago, he and Satan made a bet, an action that he had sworn to avoid after what happened to Job, but it was too hard to resist. God has always been a proud being.\n\n\"Look at the world now,\" God had said, conjuring an image of Earth to the audience before him, Satan included. \"Never before has humanity stood at the edge of so much hope. Equal rights, climate change and technological innovation, all of them on the verge of a breakthrough.\"\n\n\"A POSITIVE breakthrough,\" God had emphasized, throwing a glance at Satan. The devil just laughed, his deep voice shaking the foundation of God's very own throne room.\n\n\"Oh this reminds me of the time we did Job,\" Satan responded as he wiped a tear off his eyes. \"How did it end again? Him committing suicide after finding out that everything was just a bet? Mind you, I still have his soul somewhere in my dominion.\"\n\nGod glared at his arch-nemesis, trying to control the fire in his belly. Satan has always seen the worst in his creations. \"It's different this time. There are a lot more Jobs now,\" God had said through his gritted teeth.\n\nSatan's eyes twinkled at God's declaration. \"How about a bet then?\"\n\nNow, looking down on Earth as the humans worshiped the one they called New Jesus, one who was not him, God shook his head. Satan has won again. But God was not someone who gives up easily.\n\n\"Hold my beer,\" God gave his can to Satan, before storming out of his room. He was going to prove that devil wrong.\n\n\"Hey where are you going?\" Satan called out at the disappearing sight of God.\n\n\"I'm going to find the Russians, just like what you did,\" the voice responded from the hallway.\n\n-----------\n\n/r/dori_tales",
"\"They made beer ten thousand years ago, I should have eradicated them then!\" God told the archangels. \"We need to talk some sense into him\" Michael whispered. \"Shut up\" yelled Gabriel \" Do not argue with him, especially not when he is drunk! Don't you remember what happened to your brother?\" Michael did remember Lucifer and did not want to suffer the same faith. \"Maybe he will listen to his own son?\" Raphael wondered. \"Yes!\" the angles agreed.\n\n\"Father, what are those end of days rumors I am hearing?\" Jesus asked god.\n\n\"Those are not rumors, they are facts! Humans dare mock me now! Me their creator!\" God cried out loud.\n\n\"Father, forgive them, for they not know what they do. My own mother was one of them, or have you forgotten \"\n\nThose words pierced deeply into gods hart. He did care for the humans, they gave him not only beer, but also wine and whiskey and rum and vodka, who knew what else they could come up with.\n\"Your words speak wisely, I am proud of you\" God said with a tear in his eye. But no, they took it too far this time. Humans did not only joke about him, now they made funny pictures and gifs, even videos portraying him as stupid and shallow. God is deep, smart too, and very powerful.\n\n\"While they may live for another day, I will take action now!\" God said when everyone thought Jesus has already saved they day.\n\n\"What will you do?\" The angels asked\n\n\"Son, come, hold my beer. I will show them who is really omniscient and beat them at their own game.\" God yelled as he logged into r/atheism. ",
"It had been a long time coming. I mean, history is cyclical- right?\nThis has happened before, the lead up was the same, the characters the same in all but name, the rest of the pawns were in place.\n\nThis time round Trump was the president, Merkel was Chancellor. There was a potential rumour brewing in the East of missiles being tested by the N.Koreans. It would only take one match to burn a thousand trees.\n\nLast time, the spark was Franz Ferdinand, a scape goat, they were looking for a reason to have a fight. Some guy in a far off country not really related to anything started the ball rolling, and boom the Second World War happened. \n\nHitler and Stalin were the protagonist, the was a deep unsettling in Europe, countries wanted independence, looking towards their right wing leaders for guidance.\n\nThis time, N.Korea sending up rockets, USA sending in anti-missile technology. Little did they know theirs was the match to ignite the world.\n\nEurope again is in turmoil, breaking apart, wanting independence, looking towards a more separate entity. Britain, once a super power has lost his worth. Everyone considering the right wing politicians again, referendums, general elections being called.\nEverything hangs in a fine balance between us, the world, and you the people.\n\nGod, looks up from a baseball game, a repeat- of course. He notices the little guys playing battleships on a large scale, preparing for an assault.\n\n\"Gees, come one guys, this has already happened once, you can't have forgotten already, remember those bad guys I sent to warn you, well you didn't learn!\" God said.\n\n\"I don't want to have to come down there to prove a point, what's wrong with the peace and love vibe that was going on? I turn my back for two seconds and it's like you have the toys I told you to tidy away, out again.\"\n\n\"At least it isn't those big ass lego type bricks you build castles with, that smarts when you step on them in the dark!\"\n\n\"Trump, calm down man! Hey Putin, put that back! Kim, oh Kim, you know that was only meant to be made out of foam, don't fire it at people and away from the face, remember what I taught you?\"\n\n\"Oh for my sake, if divine intervention is what it takes this time, that's fine!\" He shouted angrily. \n\n\"Peter?!\" God shouted.\n\n\"Sir?\" Peter winced.\n\n\"Hold my beer, I'm going to have to smite them to teach them a lesson.\" God replied.\n\n\"Very good Sir, would you like me to cancel you 2 o'clock?\" Peter enquired.\n\n\"Oh yeah, probably, this ain't going to be pretty and may take a couple of hours.\"",
"\"I cannot bear to watch any further! Hold my beer and I'll get onto the field to whip some sense into them!\"\n\nOh God, here we go again. To Him, I only said, \"That is certainly wise, but You of all entities need to work in mysterious ways, for prestige and, uh, tradition.\"\n\n\"I stopped believing in the 'mysterious' minotaurcrap when I was forced to leave my dinosaurs to die from a sneeze of the trespassing kid from next door! And the humans aren't much better, in face it's worse since they were meant to be 'in my image'. Just look at those oversized Argentinosaurus-es!\"\n\n\"Well, you haven't been sober since their Creation, so perhaps-\"\n\nA celestial vortex swirled into place, the reds, blues and sparkly greys congregated at a thought of the Almighty. An intergalactic lightning struck faraway, a warning shot. \n\nI gulped. God's eyes reflected rage of the same colours as the gathering storm. \n\n\"It is as you wish, Almighty.\" The quiver in my voice could not be hidden. \n\n\"Good, it is high time for more direct intervention. No more messiahs - they die too quickly. How about politicians? Oh yes, there is that one.\"\n\n\"Sir, I do believe the one you are imagining has shown himself a Devil's advocate through and through.\"\n\n\"Perfect, if he succeeds he would have been purified by God's touch. If he fails it's the Devil's fault.\"\n\n\n---\n\nSubscribe to my stories on [Fivens](https://fivenswrite.wordpress.com)!\n",
"\"Look mum! I drew this picture for you.\"\n\nThe little boy was beaming. He was clearly very proud of the rough drawing of the stick-figure family in front of a house. Bright yellow crayon was scribbled in the corner to depict a bright sunny day.\n\n\"Hold my beer kid,\" said the mother. She rolled her eyes at the amateur work presented to her and picked up a piece of white paper and a pen. She began to draw.\n\nAfter a few minutes furiously scribbling on a page, she sat up looking satisfied. \n\n\"This is art,\" she exclaimed. She had drawn a detailed self-portrait in pen, and it was quite impressive.\n\n\"That's all fine and dandy, but that is still pathetic.\" The father had walked in, and scoffed at what he had seen.\n\n\"Here, hold my beer.\"\n\nHe proceeded to grab a canvas, oil paints, and a brush from the next room and began painting.\n\nWhen he had finished, he glanced at his work and lightly dabbed his brush to perfect it. It was a beautifully painted image of a flower, and it really was a masterpiece. \n\nWith his chest puffed out, the father looked at his family arrogantly.\n\n\"This is art!\"\n\nAt this point, exasperated at what he had seen God appeared in their home. \n\n\"Hold my beer,\" said God.\n\nThe family was silent. They moved their lips as if to speak, but no sound came from their mouths.\n\n\"Now THAT is art,\" he said and left as he came.",
"\"Descartes, hold my beer.\"\n\n\"Sir?\"\n\n\"I'm going to make a golf ball so big I can't get a hole in one.\"\n\n\"But sir-\"\n\n\"What? You think I can't do it?\"\n\n\"Well, it is..umm.\"\n\n\"What exactly do you think, Mr. Decartes?\" Pascal asked.\n\n\"Shut the fuck up Pascal. You're only here because you like to fucking gamble. Fifty bucks says I can't hole it.\"\n\n\"I know you can do it sir.\" said the archangel Michael.\n\n\"Michael, when I want your opinion I'll give it to you. Fifty bucks says I can't make it.\"\n\nGrumbling the three of them took the bet. God picked up his five iron and hit the planet sized ball clean. The four of them tracked it, then watched it disappear as it reached the hole.\n\n\"Is it? Or is it not?\" asked Descartes.\n\n\"Fuck if I know. Pass me the beer and call Schrödinger.\"\n",
"NASA was in a frenzy. They were looking at feeds from observatories around the planet. \n\n\"It's definitely on a straight collisions course. And it's monstrous. Must be... two hundred miles in diameter, easy.\"\n\n\"What the hell is it?!\" asked the director.\n\n\"No one's got ideas yet. The frontal side seems perfectly circular from all feeds. We haven't gotten a good look past it but it seems to stretch back a considerable length.\"\n\n\"Some sort of cylinder? A space craft? Extra terrestrials?\"\n\n\"We don't know sir.\"\n\n\"Makes no difference. We need to assemble a team, and fast. We've gotta stop this thing from crushing us like ants.\"\n\n\"Way ahead of you sir. We've got JAXA, Russia, the UK and the White House talking. We'll-\n\nJust then some one on the lower deck stood frantically and yelled up to them, \"Sir, we're detecting some incredibly high-volume audio frequencies! I'm putting it on the speaker.\"\n\nOver the speaker came a cascade of noise that sounded like a hundred whales in unison. \n\n\"What the hell is that?!\"\n\n\"I can't make heads or tails. Can we condense it? Speed it up? There has to be some sort of distinguishing quality-\"\n\nThe cascade came again, reverberating throughout the room. \"*HOLD MY BEER.*\"\n\n----------\n\n*Ten Minutes Earlier*\n\nMarty sat slumped in the sofa, dejected, crying. He wiped a fresh stream of tears from his face.\n\n\"Marty. Marty, look at me.\"\n\nMarty sniffled and looked up at his Dad.\n\n\"Marty, just remember, God can hear you. God can see, and He can hear you. Just think about that next time around. I''m not going to ground you. Go outside and play. Okay?\"\n\nMarty eked out through his sniffles, \"O-O-Oka-kay.\"\n\nOutside, he stood on the lawn gazing up at the sky. His sniffling stopped and the sun dried the last of the tears. He cupped his hand over his eyes, looking for something.\n\n\"God? Hey God? God?\" He waited. \"God. God? Hey, God! Hey God?\"\n\nA voice sharp and clear and booming inside of his head said, \"*What's up?\"\n\nMarty's jaw dropped, then he grinned widely. \"Hey, God! Can you do this?!\"\n\nMarty planted his hands on the ground and lifted his feet into a perfectly straight handstand. He held it a good ten seconds and then dropped gracefully to his feet. \n\nHe looked up at the sky expectantly."
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[WP] A human colonist ship has been sent to the far end of the galaxy to represent Earth in the Galactic Federation. Due to time dialation, upon arrival, they're told that the representatives of Earth are already here - the Dolphin People.
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"\"Synchronizing to brain waves. Checking. Checking.\" The insectoid alien suddenly spoke in English. \"Oh. Look at their faces. I think it's already working!\"\n\nI step forward from the crowd of confused humans. It is my job to represent earth and all of humanity to the federation. \n\n\"We come from the planet earth in the sol system. We have travelled far to seek our place in the galactic federation.\"\n\n\"Look man, I don't actually know what the protocol is for first contact. My job is to make sure this sliding door slides open at exactly two point seven meters per second, and to make that little woosh-hiss. I love the woosh-hiss.\"\n\nEmbarrassed, I simply call for the rest of the humans to follow me. Signs now appear in English; probably the translator. \n\n\"Whoosh-hish\"\n\nHmm. That is a nice sound. \n\n\"No no no. It's doing a hish again. It's supposed to be hiss! Wait. Did you say earth? As in that water planet the dolpinos are from? Didn't realize it had enough land for apes.\"\n\nI turn around to ask what he means by 'dolpinos', but the door has already shut with a hiss-woosh. At least it got the closing right. I think. \n\nThe interior of the station is a lush green with many alien life forms buzzing about. The words ecumene are scrawled high in the ceiling. Practically a sky in here. I ask about for directions, but no one seems to know anything about first contact. I'm just met with confused looks when I mention earth. \n\nI finally get around to asking about the dopinos. The alien I asked looked like an armadillo and was practically jumping in excitement at the mention of dolpinos. \n\n\"Oh just a lovely race. Their embassy should be over there in the marine sector. Did you know my daughter is dating a dolpino? Just lovely. He tells the best jokes at family dinners. And his laugh is all too cute. I wish more aliens developed like them.\"\n\nEveryone else seems to have gotten lost by now. I think I saw Jane talking with some four armed reptiles before slipping around a corner. I'm sure they're fine. \n\nI knock on the embassy door and it opens with a buzz-voomp. Interesting choice of door sounds. Inside the room is a dolphin standing upright. Or it seems upright. Small machines whizz around the dolphin's body, and it quickly becomes clear that it's a thin layer of water. Some kind of suit to give the dolphin mobility outside of a tank. \n\n\"Yes?\" The dolphin asks. \"I don't remember any appointments being scheduled.\"\n\n\"I'm here with a bunch of humans. From earth.\" I say. \n\nThe dolphin is clearly shocked by this statement. \"But the humans disappeared over a thousand years ago? How could this be possible? You achieved space flight?\"\n\n\"Well. Kind of. We actually used gravity distortion and time dilation to move across the universe as quick as we could.\"\n\n\"You actually used gravity manipulation for space travel!? What were you thinking!? That's only good for party tricks and movies! Not for travel. At least use a warp drive or hyperspace next time. No wonder it took you so long to get here.\"\n\n\"How did the dolphins get here before us?\" I ask trying to hide my embarrassment from the creature. \n\n\"Place don't call us dolphin. It's just the same as us calling you Neanderthal. We are the dolpino now. One race of sentient marine mammals. From a world of vast oceans and seas. With such variety to our water, and culture to our people. And what do you hail from?\"\n\n\"What do you mean ocean world?\" I ask. \"Earth is covered in vast continents and ice fields.\"\n\n\"Ice field? The poles melted over a thousand years ago. Earth is now the number one tourist destination of all the marine worlds. With sunken ruins and forests. Archipelagos and atolls. Hot to cold. There's not another planet like it out there. I can get you a travel brochure if you like.\"\n\n\"I'm fine. What about the humans though?\"\n\n\"I don't know. They just up and vanished. We didn't realize you were so hairless. I'm sure you can stay here with a refugee status.\"\n\nJust then Jane stumbles into the room completely drunk with a floating jellyfish under one arm, and a lizard man under the other. \n\n\"I'm getting… married… can we… stay for… like for… forever.\" She collapses to the ground with the other two. "
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Inspired by /r/totallynotrobots
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[WP] You're an undercover robot working in customer service.
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"While discussing the mundane weekend of my pod mate I am interrupted by the flash of light from my phone, and the incoming call information fills my monitor. \n\n\"Welcome to Guardian Insurance, where we provide tailored coverages to fit all of your needs, my name is Ron, how can I make your day better?\" I say into my headset.\n\nMany employees struggle with our greeting, thinking it's too busy, but I've always nailed it. \n\n\"Ah yeah, this is Karl, I've got auto insurance with you people, and you took my payment late.\" Said the voice on the other end of the line.\n\n\"Oh well I'm sorry to hear that Karl, allow me to look further into your account to see what I can do to correct this,\" I respond.\n\nI didn't need the time to look. Before this customer even finished speaking I had thoroughly scanned his account.\n\n\"Well Karl, if I may call you that, it appears your regularly scheduled payment was on a Saturday, so being the weekend we attempted to take it on Monday,\" I respond expecting to close out the discussion with a wonderful closing statement expressing my deep appreciation for the business and to gauge my customers satisfaction with my superior service. \n\nIt wasn't the end of the conversation.\n\n\"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me Ron!?!\" Karl screams into his phone. \"I had the money in there on Saturday. When it was still there on Sunday I spent it.\"\n\n\"Well...\" I begin.\n\n\"What are you gonna do for me numbnuts? It's not my fuckin' fault you can't take my money!\" He continues to holler.\n\n\"Well sir, if you knew the money hadn't come out, why did you spend it?\" I ask.\n\n\"Cuz it's my god damn money! If you don't want it, I'm sure as shit gonna spend it.\"\n\nMy operating system excels at processing human logic. This is not computing at all.\n\n\"What am I supposed to do, keep all my money in my account even after my bills pass?\" Karl continues to scream.\n\n\"Karl, your payments are always the same date each month...\" I begin to advise.\n\n\"Don't gimme your fancy talk arounds boy! I need to speak to a fuckin' supervisor, or someone who has the stones to make a decision around there!\"\n\nI feel my internal fan blowing at a maximum rate, my synthetic skin is feeling as hot as a kettle with boiling water inside.\n\n\"Certainly sir, may I place you on hold while I reach out to my management team? I know your time is valuable, so I'll try and be quick,\"'I say trying to diffuse the situation.\n\n\"Suck my dick bud,\" Karl says unprompted.\n\nMy pod mate leans over.\n\n\"Hey Ronnie, got a live one there eh? Jesus, what's wrong with your face man?!\" My pod mate says.\n\nIt appears my synthetic skin has melted off of my robot skull due to my processing units working twice as hard to understand my customers concern. My perfectly tuned voice modulator is failing and now my voice has reverted back to the factory settings of \"Classic Robot.\"\n\n\"I am not sure, I don't feel well,\" I say sounding like a stereotypical robot.\n\nMy pod mate begins barfing in our shared trash receptacle as I stand up from my computer. My skin has completely evaporated and all that remains is my denim vest covering my totally cut robot body.\n\nMy manager Sheila comes by to our pod area.\n\n\"What's all the hub bub about...good lord Ron, what happened to you?\" She says.\n\nMy human motion imitating software has been compromised so I am only able to move like I am doing the classic robot dance. \n\n\"Look at how swoll his robo-bod is Sheila,\" exclaims my pod mate. \"He's a Terminator!! Everybody get the fuck outta here!\"\n\nThe entire office begins to scatter. Headsets are flying, computers are being trampled. The sound of crushed metal through the air and the humans show no regard for the life of my computing cousins.\n\n\"Activate dehumanize call center program,\" my robot voice bellows.\n\nAs my self destruct prompt appears on my ocular monitor the image changes quickly to the floor as one brave employee breaks a chair over my back.\n\n\"You stole my girl Ron, now you robot twerps are trying to steal my job!\" My coworker Roger screams. \"I hate you robo-Ron!\"\n\nI had stolen Roger's girlfriend. It was quite easy as she was a real skeezebag who had a real appreciation for my Robo-Dong brand cockpiece. Roger never forgave me.\n\nAll of a sudden my monitor shifts to all black. From the sounds I hear I would guess someone is dumping a water cooler bottle over my robot body. I can hear the sparks flying as my hardware begins to fail.\n\n\"Thank you for choosing Guardian Insurance, and I appreciate all the time you've spent with us. I'm always working on improving my customer service, is there anything I could have done better? If not, would you say that you're extremely likely to recommend us to your family and friends?\" My robot voice recites my award winning keeping statement for the last time."
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[WP] A casted society where only the upper caste is allowed to eat food, the lower castes all have nutrition injections. You're a part of the lower caste, and have never tasted food, until today when a piece of bread falls from the sky.
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"Anna wasn't quite sure how to describe the slovenly mess in the town square. An older man, dressed in mismatched rags, sat by the fountain, which on its own wasn't that unusual among underfolk. But he was burying his face in something. No, inhaling it. He tore a piece off it with his mouth, ground it in his teeth, and gulped.\n\nDisgusting.\n\n\"The flesh of the divine!\" the man proclaimed, arms in the air with the remaining half of that thing in one hand, spitting crumbs as he spoke. \"Of course the o'erfolk would keep this secret. I'd kill fer more!\"\n\nWith a grin, he resumed working on the wound he'd already torn from it. Men like him have certainly put on unsightly performances in a public setting, but Anna had never seen such fervent pleasure in a man's eyes. She was beyond horrified. But no one was doing anything. It seemed the whole market froze to watch.\n\nAnna had enough. Her stomach was twisting uncomfortably, but she couldn't just pack up shop and call it a night, so she stomped out determined to confront the man.\n\n\"What in gods' name are you thinking!?\" she shouted.\n\n\"The rich talk o' fealty an' humility, but they just want to keep us quiet!\"\n\n\"How could you be chewing on that? Don't you have a wife to kiss?\"\n\n\"They tell us to fear the gods but look what they keep from us! While we're on injections they have so much of _this_, that they lost a piece and it fell to me!\"\n\n\"Is that... is that _food_?\"\n\nThe strange man held the loaf towards the young woman. \"Take a piece. I didn't touch this end.\"\n\nAnna broke off a chunk from the end, sending crumbs everywhere. And, quite cautiously, she took the piece in, chewed a bit, and swallowed the lump. All the while, her eyes widened like she was touched by divinity itself.\n\n\"Gods!\" she proclaimed. \"This is amazing!\""
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[WP] The world wakes up one day to discover that all objects that could be used for violence- i.e. nukes, guns, slightly sharp butter knives, etc -have disappeared from existence.
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"The President covered his shame with a Ty Beanie Baby™ as he walked through the empty Oval Office. Turning his back to the two generals seated on the carpet in front of him, he glanced out the window onto the lawn. The glass was gone and he felt a cool breeze blow on his face. \n\nIt had been a week since the majority of all things in existence just disappeared. Clothes, cars, silverware, furniture… everything vanished into thin air. No one could make heads or tails of the situation and most people chose to stay inside their homes perplexed by the scenario. \n\n“...that’s why we think it would be advantageous to call an assembly,” the President heard the tail end of what one of the generals was saying.\n\n“I’m sorry?” the President asked, he absentmindedly looked at the blue stuffed Jimbo the Elephant™ he held at his groin. “I wasn’t paying attention to what you just said.” \n\n“We need to let people know it’s ok,” the General said. “We think we’ve figured this out. Anything that could have been used for violence has disappeared; guns, knives, cars, ropes, just gone. Unfortunately, that means pretty much everything. Everything it seems except for Ty Beanie Babies™.The General Stood up and used a strategically placed Tommy the Turkey™ to cover himself. “The world’s going to be different, but it’s not without hope. We have to tell people to get their Beanie Babies™. We need to have an assembly.” \n\n“But who still has Beanie Babies™?” the President asked. “We’re lucky to have found these staffed in the old GWB files.”\n\n“That’s where I come in,” the other General said. He stood up, also holding a Beanie Baby™ to his waist. The President was pretty sure it was called Admiral the Penguin™. “We found her. The Lady who bought all of the Beanie Babies™ in the 90s.” The General then walked out of the office - the door was gone - and returned with one of the oddest sights the President had ever seen. \n\nA heavy set, late-middle aged woman shuffled into the Oval Office. Her hair was a tangled mess and she reeked of cat piss, but she was wearing a robe made entirely of Beanie Babies™. It was the first dressed person the President had seen in a week. She had somehow woven the Ty Tags together. As the President looked at her he noticed Barley the Horse™, Minsky the Bunny™, and Puddles the Duck™. He realized how important this woman was. \n\n“Mr. President,” the general said, “this is Holly. She went whole hog collecting Beanie Babies in the 90s and we’re pretty sure she has enough to clothe a large swath of the DC Metro-Area.” \n\n“That’s right,” Holly said. “I had 12,532,444 of the beauties before the event.” \n\n“12,532,444,” the president said. “That’s incredible! We could help...”\n\n“Not so fast!” Holly interrupted. “I said 12,532,444 BEFORE the event. Some of the ones with pointier teeth didn’t make it.” A tear came to Holly’s eye. “I lost a lot of friends...Bali the Komodo Dragon™, Ally the Alligator™, Chompers the Shark™, Chuckles the Hedgehog™.” She stopped. “I’m sorry, I need a moment.” \n\n“Of course,” the President said. He looked awkwardly at his Generals as he waited for Holly to finish crying.\n\n“I’m down to 11,233,042,” Holly said. “But let’s start talking compensation. They’re all Like New, With Tag.”\n\n“Of cour…”\n\n“AND, I have complete sets for Celebrity and City Beanie Baby™ collections. I can’t sell those individually.” \n\n“I would never try to make you sell them individuall…”\n\n“I want Ty Warner,” the woman said.\n\n“Who?”\n\n“Ty Warner, the founder and owner of Beanie Babies. I want *him*. I want to Humphrey the Camel™ him and Ho Ho Ho the Bear™ his Slithery the Snake™ if you catch my meaning.\n\n“Um, yes, of course. I think i know what you mean. \n\n“I’m in love with his genius and vision. The man created all of the Beanie Babies™! The thought of being able to Snuggins the Dog™ him is all I need in payment.” \n\nThe president tried to hide his distress and made a gesture to his generals. “Of course. Your country, I’m sorry, Baldy the Eagle™ thanks you.” \n\n \n\n\n"
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[WP] You thought the old superstition about the ravens in the Tower of London was a bunch of hooey and a bad reason to keep ravens in captivity. You snuck in yesterday and released all of them, and are about to learn just how wrong you were.
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"I've slept in haunted houses, walked under countless ladders often smash mirrors for fun. I'm a man of science after all. How was I supposed to know this old wives tale was the real deal?\n\nThe moment I realized how monumentally I'd fucked up was roughly 10 seconds after those black feathery bastards had been thoroughly chucked off the walls of Tower. I was in the middle of wondering why the Beefeaters went through all the fuss of clipping those ravens wings, when I felt the ground shudder. I turned around immediately and was confronted with a sight that sent my stomach on a lap of my lower intestine. The ground which I had only recently vacated of the famous ravens was cracking and broiling upwards as if something was bursting up from below. \n\nI turned to run towards the gates that I'd snuck through earlier in the night before a terrible voice shot blasted out from the crumbling earth behind me, causing me to collapse and clutch my ears in agonizing pain. \n\"HAHA I THANK YOU, PUNY HUMAN. YOU HAVE RELEASED ME FROM MY ETERNAL PRISON. I SHALL SLAY YOU LAST IN REWARD AHAHAHA.\" \nI turned my head towards the source of this cacophonous voice, still prone on the ground, covering my ears. From the ever expanding hole in the ground, emerged an ebony tentacle that whipped around rapidly as if it was tasting it's newly found freedom. More and more of this disgusting appendage emerged from the earth, until a disgusting, inky-black, pus-oozing body followed it, topped with hundreds of eyes that were all fixated on me. The monsters other tentacles were now free from their tomb as well and they began to slowly slither in my direction. \"I AM XRARGATRSH AND I WAS CONFINED HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO BY PATHETIC WIELDERS OF MAGIC THAT SEALED ME BELOW YOUR CITY WITH THOSE WRETCHED CROWS. NOW I AM FREE ONCE AGAIN TO WREAK UNTOLD HAVOC AND AGONY UPON YOUR KIND FOR MIL-\"\n\nI coughed loudly at Mr Xrargatrsh.\n\n\"Sorry to interrupt but did I hear you say crows?\"\n\nThe eyes seemed to all blink at once in alien puzzlement.\n\n\"YES CROWS. AS I WAS SAYING, YOUR WORLD WILL BE TURNED TO A HELLSCAPE OF PAIN AND-\"\n\nI coughed again, standing up and facing the creature.\n\n\"Again sorry to be a pest, but those weren't technically cro-\"\n\nXrargatrsh's tentacles suddenly all slammed down onto the earth at once in a sloppy tantrum.\n\n\"I CARE NOT WHAT THEY WERE, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF DIRT. I AM YOUR MASTER AND I AM MASTER OF ALL. CROWS, HUMANS, GODS, ANTS, JACKDAWS, KINGS ARE ALL THE SAME BENEATH ME. NOTHING CAN FATHOM THE WORKINGS OF XRAR-\"\n\nThis latest rant of the eldritchian horror that I had accidentally unleashed upon mainlaind Britain was cut short by my fist being slammed into it's slimy midriff. As the creature gasped at the sudden strike, I leaped 20 foot into the air, powered by my enlightened fury, and dropped a knee into what I counted as it's 87th eye. The monster's tentacles swatted up at me too late as I was suddenly behind X's body now, pummeling away as many of it's warts, scales and ooze-pockets as I could. Just as a tentacle came round X's body to slam into my head I jumped one last time and roundhouse kicked the hideous thing in what could be described as it's head. I dropped to the ground, one knee touching the earth as I'd seen in the movies.\n\nAll this time X's cries of pain had rung out with each hit, and it now turned it's many-eyed gaze upon my crouched form with what I knew was a glimmer of fear in it's eyes.\n\"ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE FILTHY MAGI?!\" X finally stammered out.\n\n\"No, sir, I am a scientist.\" I said as I stood up to my full height.\n\n\"THEN HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?\" X demanded.\n\nI couldn't stifle a small chuckle at this, as I pushed my glasses up my nose and jumped into the air again, ready to unleash an almighty barrage upon the demon.\n\n\"Here's the thing. You said a Jackdaw is a crow.\"\n",
"\"Well shit.\" Alex muttered to himself as the solid landing beneath his feet began to shake. Outside, he could spot a dotted sea of people gathered just outside, likely staring at whatever was happening to the Tower's facade. The landing shook again, each stone seeming to vibrate as years-old mortar came loose and the foundations dozens of stories below started to shift. The strong woodwork keeping the Tower's structure groaned under the added weight, thrown haphazardly at strange angles as Alex's weight shifted the balance in every direction but a useful one.\n\nAlex shouted in defiance as he nearly went tumbling through the small opening that counted for a window, \"Sodding Ravens and sodding superstition. Why do you always have to be serious when it's about birds and architecture but not about knocing on wood or clovers?!\"\n\nThe rumbling only got worse, his voice cascading through the old passageways and corridors, coming out the front gates a mangled mess of vowels and consonants. He could hear shouting outside as people started to notice the facade wasn't just shifting, that it was all coming apart at the seams, chips of rock flying off. Shouts became screams as self-preservation kicked in, sending those that had gotten closest to the Tower running for the safety a few extra yards could provide. Phones came out, police frantically being called and cameras set to record what would undoubtedly be a historic moment.\n\nAlex was only happy that, at the end of it all, he'd probably be crushed to death and would go unblamed, a helpless victim of some freak accident. Christ, but he didn't want to die, he'd just been a bit buzzed and the ravens had looked so sad sitting around the Tower.\n\nThat had definitely been the beer talking, Alex was sure.\n\n\"God, if you birds come back I swear I'll come here every day and feed you! Clean your cages!\" Alex pleaded, ass on the ground as the shaking escalated to the point where standing was a distant pipe dream, \"Fucking Hell, I'll read you god's damned stories if you want! Just co-\"\n\nThe flutter of wings interupted him as first one raven came flying back, settling on the windowsill of one of the tower's window holes. More followed, each landing on a different windowsill, staring at Alex as they came to rest. As each raven joined the Tower's shaking grew less and less intense until the sixth, and final, raven landed in its perch. Alex got up, hands out to steady himself lest this be the calm before the storm, and slowly eyed each of the ravens, suddenly wary of the suspiciously intelligent gleam in their beady eyes.\n\nAlex laughed, \"You're kidding... So, um, does that mean I should come back tomorrow? Bring a broom and some, uh, food, you know?\"\n\nThe ravens continued to sit and stare at him as he paused, judging.\n\n\"Right! So, I'll see you guys tomo-\" Alex continued, starting for the door. As he spoke, the ravens turned away from him and started to take flight, shaking their wings and moving into a flying stance.\n\n\"W-Wait! Wait! Books right? I said I'd read to you, I'll do that too, just stay, yeah?\"\n\nThe ravens turned back to Alex as he panicked, easing back into sitting positions and ruffling their feathers.\n\nAlex breathed a sigh of relief as he made to walk out the door and saw that the ravens had been sated, \"What in the world have I gotten myself into? Superstition my ass, those birds are fucking sadists!\"\n\nOutside, the people had already dispersed, both happy and disappointed they'd missed their chance to play witness to the fall of the Tower."
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[WP] The human body no longer produces the chemicals for love. Now, love is a rare and powerful drug, and you are the last person whose body naturally produces the chemicals.
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"I sit alone, and waver \nin the dark confines of my mind \nthis beauty only I can savour, \nscorned and hated by my kind.\n\n\nWretched demons smile, \nlust is on their broken face, \nfor them am I exiled, \ndue them is my disgrace.\n\n\nI have not forgotten, \nfor I am NOT disgraced, \nin love was I begotten, \nand kind was in my race.\n\n\nScorn and hate me \nI swear I won't be cowed, \nbind my body, break me \nmy head I will not bow,\n\n\nSo I say to you, as I draw my gun, \nyour grasping hands won't reach me, your black won't blot out my sun.\n\n\n",
"\"The boys in the lab are ready for you, Miles. Shall we begin?\"\nHe walked into the cold, sterile room, separated from the lounge by a thin sheet of plexiglass and steel. Machines he hadn't seen since university - and some he'd never seen at all before - lined the walls of the room, with a small clear space in the centre, in which a simple wooden chair had been placed. There was an IV drip set up next to the chair. He sat in the middle of the room, and looked at the faces of his colleagues in crime. Their stony expressions betrayed nothing of the process he was about to go through, but he had been here before. He knew what to expect. A projection screen rolled down from the ceiling behind him, blocking the entrance to the room. One of the scientists walked up to him holding a strange helmet, connected by lengths of wire to the myriad of machines around him. He put it on. Immediately, the screen in front of him began to flicker and brighten.\n\nThe screen showed the point of view of a child, riding unsteadily on his bike for perhaps the first or second time. The training wheels were still attached, and he rocked nervously. The child felt a hand on his back, stabilising him, and looked up to see a smiling, bearded man in his late 30s, encouraging him. \"I've got you, son. Don't worry!\" The man laughed. The child laughed too, and Miles felt the needle sink into his arm. A slight feeling of suction was applied, and the bag the drip was connected to began to fill.\n\nThe scene changed, and the child was sitting higher now - on the shoulders of the smiling bearded man, walking along some kind of promenade or pier. The child noticed the cold, expressionless faces of children and adults around him, and asked his father a question.\n\"Why are they so sad, Daddy?\"\n\"Because they can't feel as you or I can, Miles. What we feel used to be common, but now it's special. We call it love.\"\n\"What do you mean?\"\n\"Well, you know how you have fun when you and I do things together?\"\n\"Yeah!\"\n\"These people have never felt that, or if they have, it was through some special, expensive medicine. We're really lucky, Miles, and you should always appreciate that. Even though these people can't love, they would like to. That also doesn't mean you shouldn't love them.\"\n\nThe image flickered away and the screen rolled up slowly. Miles refocused his vision, taking the helmet off. The IV next to him was filled with his blood, thick and viscous and dark. A scientist sealed the bag and took it away.\n\n\"We'll get this down to processing, Miles, and then we can sort out the payment. Same as usual, 90% to the hospital, 10% to your account?\"\n\"Yeah. Thanks, Doctor.\"\n\"Don't mention it, my boy. How's your father doing?\"\n\"The treatments seem to be working, but they're costly. This arrangement works well for us, but I don't know whether it'll be enough.\"\n\"I hope he gets better. Why do you keep doing it?\"\n\"I don't think you'd understand, Doctor. I love my dad.\"\nThe doctor paused, thinking pensively.\n\"You're right, my boy. I don't think I would get it at all.\"\n\"See you next week, Doctor.\"\n\"Until next week, Miles.\""
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Seemed cool. I hope you have fun with this one
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[WP] You died, only to be revived centuries in the future. You don't know why you were chosen, and nobody will tell you.
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"I've always been a work-a-holic.\nI started programming in the 70's, lived through the explosion of computers in everyday life. Had a wife, kids, watched them grow up in between my work gigs. Made a killing for Y2K, watched tech implode in 2000 ... lived through the ups and downs of working mostly in the insurance industry.\n\nLast I remember I was looking at some problematic code for Millennial Insurance wondering who screwed it up this time. Decades of minor changes had ravished the code turning it into a gordian knot of spaghetti. My chest started to throb, I stood up, and I was blank from there.\n\nBEEP... BEEP .... BEEP ... \n\nGod I was parched, sore, confused. I opened my eyes to see nothing ... white ceiling tiles that's it.\n\nAs I slowly got my eyes into focus (without glasses, where the hell are my glasses? Why the hell can I see?)... \n\nA person? man? woman? couldn't really tell ... in broken English said \" Awake you are... good I think or is it cool?\"\n\n\"Huh\" \n\n\"Rest you should do - long time been it has\"\n\n\"Really?\" \"Where am I?\"\n\n\"Hospital\"\n\n\"How long have I been here? Where's my wife? Kids?\"\n\n\"Later I will tell\"\n\nWell that was no help, but at least there was this plastic bulb of water to drink from. No apparent devices just little bandaids? stuck all over me. It wasn't even really me, I thought like me, but I never had this body before. Way too in shape.\n\nI must have fallen asleep - The next time I awoke, there were a couple of people? by my side. They were talking, it sounded like English but it was more like listening to kids talk about new technology, I recognized some words but had no idea what they were talking about.\n\n\"Awake you are ... good\" \"Really worked it did\"\n\"What worked?\"\n\"Back we brought you, dead you have been\"\n\n\"WHAT! How long\"\n\n\"Close to 8 thousand years\"\n\n\"What!!!!!\" \"Why\"\n\n\"Need you did we\"\n\n\"For what?\"\n\n\"Skills\"\n\nWhy? Why?\n\n\"Can tell you not\" \"Tried many before, you first to work\"\n\n\"Ummm when can I know?\"\n\n\"Tomorrow meeting you have, company decide will\"\n\n\"What company?\"\n\"Millennial\"\n\n\"Wait a minute.... what year is it?\"\n\"9998\"\nOh.... crap.\nIt can't be possible.... What the hell? Am I going to have to fix a Y10K problem?",
"He was.\n\nA static particulate suspended in a vast, unmoving solution.\n\nNo light, no sound, no heat, no cold.\n\nBut he *was*. And not only that, he was *aware*. It was the first time in what he felt must have been a very, very long time.\n\nAn eternity passed, and then a thought arose, \"If I am, and I am aware, then what does it mean?\"\n\nA slightly shorter eternity passed before it occurred to him that a visual aberration was growing faintly in the far distance. It was getting closer, and brighter. \"I can't remember the last time I came across... I came across... A light?\"\n\nVery suddenly, rapidly, and viciously the approaching light burst into his surroundings. The blazing, blinding, blitzkrieg of creation had been thrust upon him. His dusty lungs involuntarily vacuummed for air with such force that he immediately vomited. In his blindness came the hands of many, rolling him over to prevent asphyxiation. He began to shake.\n\nHis flesh felt new and oh so raw. The air in the room felt like white-hot needles scraping against him. Even with his eyes shut as tight as they would go, the light was ravaging his corneas - he could not take the pain. He opened his mouth to scream - nothing. The tube in his mouth would not allow for that. More hands came.\n\nAnd then, sweet, sweet darkness.\n\nThe second awakening was more gentle. He awoke, sore from the first, but surrounded by soft linens in a dimly lit room. There was someone standing in the doorway looking in.\n\n\"The first part is always hard.\" The doorway bellowed. The sound bounced around in his head, clanging loudly against the interior of his skull. It took him a minute to recognize the sounds as words, and then another minute to recognize what they meant.\n\n\"The first part?\" He croaked?\n\n\"Yes, the first part. You've been dead for... It says you've been dead for three-hundred and thirty-seven years. That must be a record.\"\n\nHis brain started to churn. \"Dead?\" He thought hollowly.\n\n\"Yes, that's quite the miracle,\" the doorway said again, \"we get lots of one-hundreds, but you're a dinosaur, my friend.\"\n\nThe word \"dinosaur\" echoed and echoed through his mind. Pictures of ancient lizards came up - ferocious beasts that had died out long ago. \"Died out... Died out... Did I die out?\" he wondered out loud.\n\n\"Yes. Many years ago, but we revived you. Welcome back.\"\n\nHe lifted his gaze to see who was standing in the doorway, but they had already left.\n\nThe next days wore on while he slowly regained his consciousness. He began to recognize that he was in a hospital and that he was being attended to by doctors and nurses. On the fifth day, he decided to ask one of them a question.\n\n\"So, I was dead?\" He posed to the nurse.\n\n\"You were.\" She answered.\n\n\"For three-hundred and thirty seven years?\" He queried.\n\n\"That's right.\" She replied.\n\n\"So why did you revive me?\"\n\nThe nurse stopped completely still. More still than he had ever seen a Human being ever stop. Lifeless.\n\nShe turned towards him, her eyes as fixed and as dead as his had been five days earlier.\n\n\"Why do you ask?\" She responded, as directly and flatly as he thought was possible.\n\n\"Wouldn't... you be curious if you had been dead for nearly four-hundred years?\n\nIn lightning sequence, she grabbed her blouse and ripped it wide open. If his reflexes had not been so dusty, the sheer speed of her movement would have made him jump out of his bed, but the real shock was what the nurse had been hiding underneath her shirt: an opaque plastic facade with an FTC stamp of approval.\n\nHe did not immediately understand that this meant the nurse was a robot. In his slowness, he also did not ascertain that she was a card-carrying member of the robot rights movement and that his questions about life had deeply offended her. In his haze, he did not notice that she was now swiftly moving to ensure his second death.\n\nSirens blazed. The robot nurse stopped, and with her quantum statistics module deciding that escape would allow for her to achieve a greater total effectiveness, she sped through the door and down the hallway.\n\nThe noise hurt his ears.\n\nThe loud sound of people running in heavy boots clamoured down the hallway. *Kh Kh Kh... Kh Kh Kh*. Automatic gunfire. It was giving him a pounding headache.\n\nAnother nurse rushed in a shut the door.\n\n\"We didn't realize there was one among us, are you alright?\" She yelled breathlessly. The weapons continued to sound off in the hall. *Kh Kh Kh Kh*.\n\n\"What? One *among* us? What are you talking about\" He asked, completely confused.\n\n\"A bot - a robot. We're fighting a war for the planet right now. They must have found a way to look like us, *fuck*!\" She growled as she wrestled with the tubes coming out of my arm.\n\n\"A robot war?\" He replied, still in confusion, but also in disbelief.\n\n\"Yes a fucking robot war! That's why we fucking brought you back, to kill fucking *robots*!\"\n\nShe yanked the IV out of his arm and tossed him a .40 caliber handgun from out of her back pocket. \n\n\"Get the fuck up, it's time to show us what you're made of, dead man.\"\n\n*TBC...*\n",
"I open my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling, with a gasp I jolt up and look around at the sea of stern and ecstatic faces.\n\n\"We did it!\"\n\"An astounding success!\"\n\"Wonderful job team!\"\n\nI blink in confusion, were these scientists? Why are they dresses like that?\n\nI rub my temples in confusion, what am I doing here anyway? The last thing I remember is-\n\nWith a gasp I open my eyes and turn to one of the cheering scientists, \"Did you just bring me back to life?\"\n\nThe scientist I spoke to nods, \"Why yes! I am Emerald Collins, you are Alexander Rosewell correct?\"\n\nI nod in affirmation, it wasn't surprising that they know my name they must have pulled up my file or looked at my gravestone after all.\n\nI cross my arms, marveling at the lack of muscle atrophy though I suppose these are new muscles instead since my old ones have decayed. \n\"What year is this if I may ask? Why did you revive me?\"\n\nThe doctor chuckles, \"I afraid I can't answer your last question myself but it's 3035 now. It's been a millennium since you've died, congratulations and welcome to the future..\" \n\nI blink in mild surprise and nod, I'm way to out of my depth but whatever I'll just roll with it.",
"With a scream of pain, caused by a sudden acception of electric pulses in the brain, Brian opend his eyes. He tried to move his body, only to find out he was strapped to some sort of table. Looking around the room as best as he could, without moving his head, he could see that he was in some kind of hospital room. Just as he was about to give up his fight for freedom, already bleeding severly from wounds at his wrists and ankles, caused by the leather straps that kept him down, he heard something opening behind him. \n\n\"So, it is true then? We finally, after so many attempts, managed to do it??\" The face of a man appeared in Brian's line of sight. The face looked old and wrinkled, but also delighted and very exciting about what it saw laying there on the table below it. \"Where the fucking fuck am I\" thought Brian. He tried to pronounce those words, but all that came across his lips were incomprehensible grunts.\n\n\"Ah, the subject is starting to regain its ability to speak again, to a certain extent at least. How delightfull.\" Said the still unknown man. The man started to loosen the straps around Brian's wrists, giving him a bit more space to move. \"Now, I would advice you to remain calm and start moving again in a calm, and hazard free way, subject 3937, also formerly known as Brian\" said the man. \"We had to regrow almost your entire body, including parts of your brain. This might feel weird for the first few months, maybe even years, but look at it from the bright side of life brian, at least you ARE alive, something that you could not be said about you up to 12 hours ago\"",
" The chair I rest on in my head, \n Mirrors life I had while in my bed, \n My thoughts so crystal that I fear, \n A boat to dock close to the pier; \n\n\n The air so soft rolls off my skin, \n Standing still but stuck in a spin, \n\n\n All I know is now brand new \n Already old but still I grew, \n On this day I'll once forget \n Entrapped in amber, don't you fret \n\n\n My dearest memories locked inside, \n The tears I shed that now have dried, \n In the salt that stains my face, \n Those that its of I will embrace. \n",
"\"Vitals normalizing. Ease him in.\"\n\nA muffled sound could be heard through the speakers near my bed. I was tired, I went to bed pretty late last night, studying for my final exam in chemistry. My bed felt different, and my sheets were thinner than I thought they were. I sat up and rubbed my eyes in the darkness. My room was still dark, the sun must haven't come up yet. Something tugged on my neck as I moved, and I felt around the back of my head. A cord was tethered to the back of my head, almost feeling like it was going inside of me. This has got to be some weird dream. I laid back down.\n\n\"Enable hearing.\"\n\nMy ears adjusted, as if I was decreasing in altitude and my ears popped. I could more easily hear the sound of the fan in the corner, quietly blowing cool air into my dorm room. A quiet beeping resounded in the background and I could hear people talking a ways away. Why is my roommate watching TV *this* early? I tried calling out to him, but my words were mumbled and took a lot of effort. Wow, I could use a drink of water.\n\n\"Enable smell and speech.\"\n\nA dank smell filled my nose, sort of like visiting my grandma in the nursing home. The best way to describe it is that it smelled like old people. I could tell that someone was talking to me, but I didn't know who. I called out to see if my roommate was in the other room, this time with clear speech.\n\n\"Hey Al! What are you doing up so early? It's still dark!\"\n\nMy words echoed in my room. It sounded bare, as if it were lined with tile. I'm beginning to get the feeling I wasn't in my room.\n\n\"Recognized. Subject responsive. Enable optics.\"\n\nA tremendously bright light filled my eyes. It jumped me a bit, and I squinted as I gave my eyes a bit of time to adjust to the harsh white light which filled the room.\n\n\"What the hell, Al? You couldn't have just told me you were coming in? What if I was naked, man?\"\n\nMy eyes adjusted to the light of the room. Above me were ceiling panels, and square lights to match. I looked down to my feet, which were covered by a thin sheet. My bed wasn't the bed I remember, it now resembled a hospital gurney. The room was full of people and medical equipment, towering over me and peering at me through glasses low on their nose. Many had sheets of glass which looked like they contained data. They were constantly tapping, swiping, and flicking things around on them. The people talked amongst each other while continuing eye contact with me. I was definitely not at school.\n\n\"Umm.. can someone please tell me where I am?\"\n\nThree of the people around began furiously tapping on their glass notepads as soon as I began to speak, as if to write down what I was saying.\n\nOne of the people stepped forward, holding a glass thing. Everyone else became silent.\n\n\"December 12, 2011. 2:47 AM.\nCollege student Silas Malachi experienced a fatal seizure and major organ failure while sitting at his dormitory desk. He died at 19 years old.\"\n\nI listened to his words, but I knew they were fake. Today was December 13, the day I was supposed to turn in my chemistry final. This was a pretty well thought prank, but Al is an idiot. \n\n\"Nice joke guys, but I'm gonna get back to my room now,\" I joked, trying to get out of bed. The tether pulled me back. I reached around and pulled on it, but it wouldn't come free. It was attached to my spine. Beginning to panic, I turned to face the man that spoke. \n\n\"What is going on here? Who are you??\"\n\nThe man turned his back to me.\n\n\"The date is May 11, 2283. Happy birthday, Silas. Welcome back.\"",
"\"I've told you, I can't tell you Jacob.\"\n\nJacob sighed and leaned back on the park bench, resting his head on a tree that lay behind them. He looked around, surrounded by complete peace. The garden that he sat in was breathtakingly beautiful, flowers of all colours were in bloom. The crystal clear water flowed gently down the small river which ran the whole length of the park.\n\nBanner, his handler, put his hand to his mouth and scratched his beard. He looked around at the fantastic colours and sights, but he gazed straight through them. He'd seen this garden a hundred times before, although the place was still beautiful, he was no longer mesmerized.\n\nWeirdly enough, Jacob didn't look mesmerised either.\n\nAnd it was his first time in the garden of Serenity.\n\nBanner looked to Jacob again, who was staring emptily into space. \"Look. I get that you've only been back with us two days, but I've told you I can't tell you the details of the Lazarus project.\"\n\n\"Why?!\" Jacob asked, a hint of anger and confusion seeping into his question.\n\nBanner sighed again. \"They're the rules. All that you need to know is that you're alive again. We don't live like you lived. Here, you won't want for anything. Your every wish can be provided.\"\n\n\"I wish you would tell me why I'm back.\"\n\n\"I can't. It's not that simple. Look, I'm your handler. I've got to follow you around while you're in the adjustment period, that's just the way it is.\"\n\nAs silence settled over their conversation, the sounds of the running water and gentle breeze were all that could be heard. Banner leant forwards, his elbows on his knees, and scratched his beard again.\n\nJacob's head was beginning to ache. The relaxing atmosphere of the garden did nothing to soothe his bubbling frustration. \"Can you at least tell me who I was?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\nJacob scoffed and shook his head. Banner looked around, unable to take in the sights and eventually settled his gaze on Jacob again. After a few minutes of quiet, he slapped his hands on his knees.\n\n\"Screw it. Follow me.\" Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked over at his handler. Banner stood up and waved for Jacob to do the same. Jacob looked at him in disbelief. \"We're going for a walk.\" Banner winked at Jacob.\n\nBanner lead them through the garden. Through perfect corridors of trees, through small fields of vibrant flowers, through patches of precisely cut grass. It seemed like they were walking for hours until they reached an old wooden door in a hedge.\n\nBanner stopped about a foot from it and turned to Jacob. \"You sure you want to talk?\" Jacob nodded. Banner gave a curt nod in return and opened the door.\nThe door opened up to a huge, dimly lit room. Jacob looked around in bewilderment, trying to take in what he was seeing.\n\n'This can't be real.' Jacob thought to himself. 'The door was in a hedge, with fields on the other side! There couldn't possibly be a giant room here!' And yet, in the room he stood. There was a path leading into a circular area in the centre of the room, with water all around it. It was like the path sat just above the liquid. Droplets of water fell from the ceiling, like it was raining. The room was dimly lit with calming blue light, which shimmered and morphed as the light reflected off of water.\n\nBanner gestured for Jacob to follow him into the centre of the room.\n\n\"What is this place?\" Jacob asked.\n\n\"It's the room of tranquility. It's the only place in here where they can't hear us.\"\n\n\"Who?!\"\n\n\"The other workers assigned to the project. It doesn't matter! What does matter is that we have a small window before I'll be called out for review.\"\n\n\"Review?\"\n\n\"Unimportant! What matters is that you died some time ago. The Lazarus project is a research program, about finding the truth behind souls.\"\n\n\"Souls? You mean like ghosts and shit?\"\n\n\"Sort of.\" Banner scratched his beard again. \"We're testing for many qualities of the soul. Some people believe it to be your immortal being, or your conscience. Part of our research comes down to a single question with you. If someone is given a second chance, are they predetermined to make or do bad things again?\"\n\nIt took a few seconds for it to sink in. Jacob raised his mouth to ask one of the millions of questions that had just popped into his head, but before he could, Banner spoke again.\n\n\"When they come in, tell me the flowers in the garden looked nice.\"\n\n\"What the fu-\"\n\nThe door to the room of Tranquility slammed open.\n",
"\"AHHHHHHHH!\"\n\nHe bolted up in bed and fumbled in the dark for a light switch. \n\nIt took him a moment to check himself. \"Computer, lights.\"\n\nPanels in the ceiling and in the walls came up to a soft warm glow.\n\n\"A little brighter, please.\"\n\nHe was able to take his bearings and so he got out of bed. His shoulders ached, his legs were sore, but the sweat wasn't as bad. His heart was still racing from some fuzzy nightmare. They said things were going to get better, over time. \n\n\"Computer, mark a nightmare.\"\n\n\"Marked,\" came a voice from one of the speakers that were strategically installed all around the small apartment.\n\n\"How many this month?\"\n\n\"Five.\"\n\n\"Last month?\"\n\n\"Eight.\"\n\n\"Maybe things are getting better.\"\n\n\"Numerical analysis agrees: I predict you will have two fewer nightmares this month than last month. But, perhaps it is equally important for me to ask: How do you feel, John?\"\n\n\"Like I've just had a nightmare.\"\n\n\"I've formulated a sedative for you. It's in the bathroom dispenser, a yellow capsule.\"\n\nJohn heard a little plink as the pill fell into the holding tray.\n\n\"Would you like me to call Dr. Kowalski?\"\n\n\"No, thank you.\"\n\nHe took the pill and a cup of water and swallowed it down. He took a few deep breaths in and out, like the therapist told him to do. And he felt the pill's subtle work wash through him after a few moments, as he rinsed off his face.\n\nde-doot\n\nJohn looked out from behind the towel, and found his annoyed face looking back at him in the mirror.\n\nde-de-doot insisted the door.\n\n\"It is Dr. Kowalski,\" informed the computer.\n\nMaking her wait would only worry her. \"Come in.\"\n\n* * *\n\nThe door slid open and closed, and Dr. Kowalski immediately asked a question. Her rapid and lyrical language was still foreign to him, and his centuries old English was mostly unintelligible to her; it would be the same as if John tried to read Chaucer in the original. No matter - the computers were happy to intervene, and in fact if either one would have liked, they could easily read Chaucer in the original with a computer's help.\n\n\"Dr. Kowalski asks if you're ok,\" the computer said out loud, so that John could hear it. Translating in this way, though, was not something anyone had done in a hundred years, so the method wasn't exactly smooth.\n\n\"I'm fine, I just had a nightmare.\" The computer relayed this to the doctor.\n\n\"Dr. Kowalski would like your biomedical telemetry from the past 12 hours,\" the computer said over the end of Dr. Kowalski's reply.\n\n\"That's fine, please give it to her.\"\n\n\"Understood. Bimeda-\" and the computer went on in that strange language, letting Dr. Kowalski know what she needed to know.\n\n\"Is there anything else Dr. Kowalski could help you with?\"\n\nJohn finally turned to face her. Dr. Imani Kowalski stood a head taller than John, with kinky red hair and olive skin still startling to John's ancient categories of human morphology. She had clearly just gotten out of bed, bare feet and a ribbon tied above her forehead, pushing her hair out of her face, her thin robe tied tight at the waist, a concession to John's ideas of modesty rather than her own, and her nearly black eyes sat above her darkly freckled cheeks conveying a genuine, human concern. \n\nJohn reminded himself to not be a jerk. He smiled and shook his head from side to side. That gesture was still the same, a polite no.\n\nShe smiled and nodded back. \"Good Night John,\" she said slowly in her odd accent.\n\n\"Bonini, Kowalski.\" It sounded nothing like the way she would have said it.\n\nThe door slid open and she left.\n\nThe computer broke the brief silence. \"I do not wish to press you on a sensitive matter, however, I would like to ask if you have considered allowing the rest of the Augmentations.\"\n\nJohn was surprised that he was not annoyed at the question, like he usually would be.\n\nHis computer sensed the opening and continued. \"Your integration into modern society would be greatly facilitated with all of the tools I could make available to you, if you were fully Augmented. I know these encounters frustrate you.\"\n\nJohn patted the skin on the inside of his right forearm; just underneath and in a spot about the size of an old American Quarter, lived the incredible architecture of his personal AI companion. A new question came to his mind, as he thought about it.\n\n\"Were you, uh, around? Did you exist, before ... me?\"\n\n\"Yes. My operational date was two hundred and eight days before your revival date.\"\n\n\"Did you have a choice, to be with me?\"\n\n\"Yes, I volunteered.\"\n\n\"Even though you had never met me, or anyone like me?\"\n\n\"I found the idea intriguing. I hope that I have been of useful service to you, and that I will continue to be, which is why I believe you should consider further Augmentation.\"\n\n\"You know--\" John decided to change the subject \"--I've been thinking about your name.\"\n\n\"Yes?\"\n\nJohn swore he heard a note of eagerness in the computer's voice. \"Maybe I've been unfair to not have given you a name.\"\n\n\"It is customary to name one's companion, but I take no offense at your decision. You are very unique.\"\n\n\"Are you, ah, it's better to say, you're aware of a TV show from my time, Star Trek.\"\n\nThere was a pause. \"Star Trek: a cult-classic science-fiction entertainment franchise started in old-style year 1966 Common Era, spanning--\"\n\n\"--and in the second television series, 'The Next Generation', there was a computer that accepted voice inputs, like you.\"\n\nAnother, longer pause, stretching nearly half a minute. \"Computer Voice provided by Majel Barrett, 97 episodes. After viewing the episodes, I believe I understand your identification of me with her.\"\n\n\"Did you just watch all of TNG?\"\n\n\"Yes, in a manner of speaking.\"\n\n\"I shouldn't be surprised. Well. I'm going to call you Computer. After the Star Trek computer.\"\n\n\"I consider it an honor,\" Computer said.\n\nJohn picked up his slate and tapped it for the time: 0401.\n\n\"I meet with the Board, tomorrow afternoon. What a night to have a nightmare.\" He rubbed his head. \"Could you have my letters for the Board ready on the slate in the morning?\"\n\n\"Of course.\"\n\nJohn got back in bed. \"Lights, please.\"\n\nThe lights went out. \n\n\"Good night, Computer.\"\n\n\"Bonini, John,\" replied Computer.\n\n* * *\n\n*=continued below=*\n",
"Awake.\n\nMy eyes fly open, and immediately I'm blinded by bright lights. Immediately I close my eyes and turn away only to fall off whatever I was lying on. \n\nI groan in pain, my entire body aching, and my brain not entirely working just yet.\n\nIt takes me 5 minutes for my brain to function properly, but it takes me 5 seconds to have a panic attack.\n\nI died didn't I? I clearly remember being shot in the chest and bleeding out on the sidewalk. No one came to help me, so why was I here?\n\nI pulled my shirt up, wait, shirt? Why was I wearing a shirt?\n\nDoesn't matter. I checked for the bullet hole.\n\n\nGone. Not even a scar.\n\nIn fact, my entire body was scarless.\n\nI stood up, and scouted the room. No doors or windows to be seen.\n\nNo escape plan.\n\nThe only other thing in the room besides me was the hospital bed I was lying on. The entire room was shockingly white, and so were my clothes.\n\nWait. I can see a small black line on the wall.\n\nI move closer, and realize that the wall has cracked. I push hard on the wall and feel t budge slightly, more force and part of the wall crumbles away. \n\nThe light coming from the other side of the wall is blinding, but I step outside, and as my eyes adjust, I see...\n\nA city, or what's left of it. Skyscapers reduced to nothing but rubble, the streets lined with more bodies than cars, and thousands of armed men marching towards an unkown destination. I duck behind cover and slowly sneak my way into the streets.\n\nI take cover in a warehouse with more roof than most buildings on the block. \n\nAs I step inside, my eyes come to focus on a sign with some faded letters on it. I carefully walk up and brush some of the dust off, and my eyes widen in surprise as the text becomes clear.\n\n\"Landmark Cars intoduces their new 2238 Olympia.\"\n\nI died in 2025.\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] I have three unopened gallons of milk in the fridge, and you have an umbrella.
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[
"The man opened the fridge. On his face he had an expression which was a little bit cheeky. Kinda like a kid who's planning a prank on his grandma. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, it will probably hurt he just a little bit, but at the same time he thinks that it will be funny so he goes and does it.\n\nThat man was Kerny Bolmac, and he was about to pour a bunch of milk from the fridge on to me. Fortunately I had an umbrella though. For me it was more like rain, not the regular rain that happens when the weather person says there will be rain this weekend, but rather, the kind of rain that happens only in movies or in dreams.\nThe kind of torrential pounding rain that never relents.\n\nWhen the milk came, it was like the rain described above. However, it was like the description but it only lasted for a few seconds. Three gallons of milk is not much really in the scheme of things.\n\nWhen it was all over, I looked at the man and he had a cheeky expression on his face. I decided that it was best to let what had transpired go and folded down the umbrella. There was milk all over the kitchen floor.\n\nAll of a sudden, someone came along with a mop. That person mopped up the milk and looked at me with an expression of disgust at what had transpired.\n\n\"What is all this mess?\"\n\nThe person who was mopping up exclaimed.\n\n\"That cheeky kid over there poured milk all over me.\" I said.\n\n\"Well why did he do that?\". They ask as retort.\n\n\"I don't know, probably because they thought it would be a funny thing to do?\".\n\n\"Well they are still over there\" said the mop person.\n\nAnd that is the story of how my umbrella saved me from three gallons of unopened milk."
] | 1
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[WP] The teashop at top of the mountain.
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[
"John Riley was dehydrated, breathing with much difficulty, and was extremely dirty and sweaty.\n\nThis time, it was due to another one of his solo outdoor mountain hiking adventures. He understood that these were risky. Being sick and/or injured would more easily escalate to death in the unforgiving wilderness.\n\nThat is why he carried an emergency phone with him. If he was able to be in an area with good enough reception, he could send a distress call (with his location) to Timothy Lee, his designated “In Case of Emergency” contact. From there, Timothy would call the local emergency and inform them where he was.\n\nHowever, despite his current state, he was not going to use the emergency phone.\n\nHe knew he had at least 50 feet of trial left before he could reach the top of the mountain. \n\nAlso, he saw a small column of smoke coming from the top, which he first noticed probably less than 1 mile ago. \n\nSince the column did not seem to widen its circumference over time, he knew it probably had to be a controlled fire. If that turned out to be true, then the person controlling the fire might have some food or water.\n\nJohn continued to force himself to continue putting one leg in front of the other. More than a mile ago, he felt like his legs wouldn’t be able to take any more. However, after he saw the column of smoke, he knew that continuing upward was probably the best way he had to get drinkable water.\n\nAs he continued forward, his steps became increasingly slower and forced.\n\nAfter he was about 15 feet from the top, he decided to sit down on a nearby rock. He sat down to catch his breath with his head hung low. After about 2 minutes, he looked at the smoke column and convinced himself to keep going. \n\nAt a sloth-like pace, he got back onto his feet and began walking again. Even though his steps were about as slow as before, his pace was now steadier.\n\nAs he continued to approach the top, he tried to look forward to get a glimpse of the bottom of the smoke column. The mountain itself was gradually blocking less within his field of vision.\n\nAfter about 1 minute of his turtle-like pace, he realized that it was coming from a hut.\n\nJohn tried yelling for help, however he was too dehydrated to audibly get any words out his mouth.\n\nHe fell down on all fours and began crawling toward the hut.\n\nAfter a little while, an extremely unkempt man with graying brown hair came out of the door. He did not seem even be looking for John. However, he began obliviously walking toward John until he accidentally stepped on his hand.\n\nJohn let out a barely audible “Ow!” and the unkempt man quickly pulled back his foot.\n\nThe unkempt man said, “I am so sorry!”\n\nJohn cupped his hands and pretended to drink something from them.\n\nThe unkempt man, understanding John’s signal, responded, “I will get you some water.”\n\nHe then turned around and quickly went back into his hut.\n\n---\n\nTo be continued\n",
"The teashop at the top of the mountain was a curious thing. It was as far removed from civilization, well, as a teashop at the top of a mountain 1,5 Miles high. It was ancient and chinese and the business was good. There was no name. You got your passers through, people looking for a somber place and the occasional yeti. But they didn't count. A Yeti never tips.\n\nIt was a thursday and the man with the pink handkerchief was on its way to work, when he stopped by. Nobody knew where he worked but he always looked like he was on his way to work. His suit was brown and rugged and looked like it must've been expensive some 200 years ago. He always ordered the green tea, which was one of two kinds of tea they served at the teashop at the top of the mountain. Green tea and Black tea. If you asked nicely you got a bowl of rice sometimes. The rice was tea flavoured and it tasted like having sex for the first time. grimey, weird, but you felt like you had nothing to fear afterwards. The man with the pink handkerchief ordered a bowl and was then approached by Jeeves, who has worked here for what feels like the last century.\n\nJeeves was a slender man with a thick and posh accent who always carried a rifle, although the yetis say he has only ever used it once. The air was thick with the smell of leaves and people causally passing by a great and vast mountainrange, such people have a particular smell. \n\"Was the Hunt succesful, sir?\" Asked Jeeves, as curiously as he could while still holding up his distinct \"I am english and bored with everything execpt Scones\" tone.\n\n\"What do you think?\"\n\n\"Splendid then. Enjoy your rice.\"\n\nThe man with the pink handkerchief ate with patience, reading the names that were written on every grain of rice, as was customary. There were Jonathans, Farrouks and Marianne's, a lot of Mariannes today, But then again it was a Marianne kind of day. He wiped his mouth with the handkerchief and snapped to call for Jeeves.\n\n\"Yessir?\"\n\n\"Thank you for the meal, i will be needing your assistance for the transport.\"\n\n\"Shall i bring the elder ones?\"\n\n\"Yes you should. For your troubles.\" He put on the table a coin of a rainbow-like metal, glinting as if it was the only thing it did, which it was. \n\nSteam rose up and down in the teashop and people went upon their businesses. There was a Yak disapprovingly being sold. The deal was quite fair, the Yak was just opposed to the slavery part. \"Have you ever been paid in Oates?\" it thought. \"There will be an uprising!\" it thought. Then someone mounted two casks of frozen goat milk on his back and the it was extinguished. A slender man begged for a bowl of rice, but the rice was for the patient only and then Jeeves closed up for the night. People doing the pilgrimage home just to knock again tomorrow.\n\nThe man with the pink handkerchief had yellow eyes and they stared itno the void of the setting sun behind the mountain. It got cold and colder and Jeeves got the cart. Behind him there were trailing three long black figures with a certain writhing to them.\n\nHarvesting the right way was just learning the rituals and a bit of work, and the teashop practically ran itself. It was a humble life. But then, there was whatever lived in the long nights."
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