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What would happen if you were to drive your car on a busy city highway during rush hour if you had no idea how to drive yet? Hint: Crash=Divorce!
One thing I've noticed in my work with hundreds of couples and individuals on the verge of divorce is that just about all of them lacked these critical relationship skills. More importantly, every marriage that was saved was saved through making effective couple's communication a major part of who they are as couples.
What's the good news? Learning basic relationship communication techniques is way faster and easier than becoming an auto mechanic! And the benefits are extraordinary!
Just like picking a couple's counselor who will not do your relationship more harm than good, you also want to read marriage self-help books that will actually help you save your marriage rather than waste your time and money or even harm your relationship.
I strongly recommend that you both read what are arguably the top three relationship books on the market today. This way you'll start off and stay on the same page together, literally. You want relationship books that are deeply engaging, packed with relationship tips and strategies that give you real and immediate ben...
I placed John Gottman's book first on the list because he's the marriage researcher who can predict divorce with close to 100% accuracy based on how a couple communicates around their hot-button issues. This book will really help you have a deeper understanding of why setting up your hurt-free-zone is absolutely critic...
Next, I recommend The 5 Love Languages. This book will give you some simple but powerful couple's communication tools and insights that will be very helpful to you as you begin to live in your hurt-free-zone and start granting the three simple wishes that will help save your marriage.
I've placed Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight at the end of the list, even though it's probably the best relationship self-help book of the century. Why? Because this book will lead you and your partner through some very deep, laser-targeted and lasting emotional repair work.
And of course you can instantly purchase the eBook version and read from your kindle, tablet, laptop or even your phone! There are also audio versions for easy listening.
When you're saving your marriage without a marriage counselor (i.e. through a divorce-prevention plan) it's often best to stabilize the relationship first for at least a 1-3 weeks. You want to get rid of as many external sources of hurt and frustration as you can before starting to really address and solve the deeper i...
But when you get to that point, when it's time to re-build profound intimacy as a couple again, Hold Me Tight will be the perfect book for you to read together. It will ask you both some of the most emotionally sensitive questions, while at the same time making it very easy and safe for you to answer them. You'll learn...
I recommend that during the first week or two, building your hurt-free-zone, you spend about one hour per day really delving into the first two books independently. It's important to help each other set up a distraction free time slot and environment for this independent reading and study.
After a week or two, once your Relationship-Love-Pulse starts to get back up 50-60 beats per minute, I recommend setting up seven date nights (in a row if possible) to read Hold Me Tight together as couple.
Just like you'll need to do for your weekly date night (also proven to help protect your marriage from divorce), it's critical to completely free yourselves as a couple from any distractions or stress.
Make sure you read together in a place that is very comfortable and relaxing. Take turns reading to each other 1 chapter at a time each night. Really think about and answer the questions at the end of each chapter together.
Make sure you have some Kleenex close by. And remember, hugs heal!
I want the very best for you, your partner and your family. I'd love to chat with you online. I'll answer your relationship questions and help you develop a quick start divorce prevention plan so you can begin the process of saving your marriage right away.
Building on energy from their historic demonstrations, educators in the state are running for office in droves—and may just win.
After Oklahoma teachers walked out of their schools earlier this year to demand higher pay and increased school funding, many vowed to challenge lawmakers who opposed their demands—including a large, organized cohort now running for office.
This year Oklahoma saw 112 current or former teachers and family members of teachers run for local, state, and federal office—up even from the considerable “teacher caucus” of 2016, when at least thirty-two educators competed in state elections. While the majority of the 2016 teacher caucus candidates were defeated in ...
More than seventy of those candidates in the education sphere who ran for office this year advanced in primary elections. Conversely, of the nineteen House of Representatives members who voted against tax hikes to fund schools during the walkout and massive rallies at the Oklahoma capitol earlier this year, only three ...
So what might teachers’ professional experience bring to politics? And does it translate into respectful and productive dialogue across party lines?
In phone interviews and emails, two educators-turned-political candidates gave me intriguing answers about the way their skills as educators can be applied to politics.
Oklahoma City’s Carri Hicks is a seven-year veteran teacher with two masters degrees who takes home an annual salary of $29,000. She teaches fourth grade and leads STEM education camps, has three children and filed for office carrying her eight-week-old baby. She began her career at a community school in an area with h...
Even though Hicks’ senator, Republican Ervin Yen, was seen as a moderate, he never responded to her attempts to contact him until she declared her candidacy seeking his seat. As Hicks explains it, her campaign was ignited by a conversation with Republican Oklahoma Senator Mark Allen, who serves on the state’s Senate Ed...
Hicks is a union site representative who kicked off her campaign, she says, trying to convince a younger teacher about how unions and collective bargaining are essential to the welfare of her students.
Ralston tells me this ability to adjust is an especially important skill for leaders at a time when the old-fashioned political playbook is often being thrown out the window.
Ralston notes that traditionally, teachers often had no more interest in arcane politics than legislators have had in classroom management methods. But she saw that pattern change during the walkout. In meeting after meeting, she saw her colleagues learning from legislators and educating themselves on lawmaking. They a...
During the walkouts, many teachers were ‘brushed off, if not outright lied to’ by lawmakers, says one teacher now running for office.
During the walkouts, many teachers were “brushed off, if not outright lied to” by lawmakers, says Ralston. Kevin McDougle, the Republican legislator she’s now challenging, became the face of that disrespect when he gained national attention for going on Facebook Live video criticizing teachers.
According to Ralston, her fellow teachers repeatedly said things like, “I’ve been a Republican all my life and I had no idea. They won’t listen.” They were particularly horrified by the treatment of former House minority leader, Democrat Scott Inman. A full gallery of teachers watched as Inman’s motions in support of e...
For decades, Oklahoma teachers have kept their heads down, focused on the job, and mostly tried to stay out of politics. The Carri Hicks campaign compiled County Election Board data indicating that just 1 in 5 teachers in her senate district voted in the last presidential election.
Now that they are fighting back, maybe educators can teach the broader public the civics lessons that we give our students. The skills cultivated in schools that have been under siege in recent years could become invaluable assets for our troubled society.
Award-winning historian and retired Oklahoma City teacher; author of A Teacher’s Tale: Learning, Loving, and Listening to Our Kids.
Historically Paris has experienced its fair share of revolutions and this summer it witnessed another - the takeover of perennial underachievers Paris Saint-Germain by Qatari investors.
Qatar Sports Investments - established in 2005 by son of the Emir and heir to the Qatari throne, Sheikh Tamim Bin Hamad Al Thani - bought a 70% stake in PSG on 30 June and quickly installed former Inter Milan coach Leonardo as general manager.
Now PSG are threatening to do in France what Manchester City have been doing over the last couple of seasons in England - blow all and sundry out of the water when it comes to the transfer market.
This week, in the run-up to the Ligue 1 kick-off at the weekend, PSG were close to smashing the French transfer record by signing Palermo's Javier Pastore for 43m euros (£37.4m).
Even leaving the 22-year-old Argentine playmaker aside, though, the Parisian club have invested more than £37m on new players this summer - three times as much as champions Lille.
"PSG could be in a league of their own for the next five to 10 years," Liverpool's French director of football Damien Comolli told BBC Sport, while Arsenal scout Gilles Grimandi simply said: "They are now on another planet."
The mystery is why it has taken so long for PSG, who last won the title in 1994, to attract serious money.
Key to PSG's appeal is the fact that Paris is unique for a city of its size in having only one professional football club.
"If you look at popular collective sports around the world there is not one club... that fits into the middle of an area with roughly 10-12 million inhabitants and has absolute exclusivity on [its] market," Comolli told BBC Sport.
The attractiveness of Paris as a capital city will also help to lure new stars, with Comolli arguing Pastore's signing is a taster of PSG's future player recruitment strategy.
"Pastore is a marquee signing for PSG and French football," said the former Tottenham and St Etienne director of football.
"He is a very, very talented boy. He could have a massive impact at PSG and in French football. PSG looked at Ganso and Adel Taarabt, but they decided to go for Pastore.
"The strategy to go and buy younger players, who could become world stars like Pastore, is the right one.
"The Premier League or the Spanish will be a lot more attractive for [established] players. I think a top player will always want to play for Liverpool before PSG because of its history and the Premier League's competitiveness."
The other mystery surrounding PSG is why the club has historically failed to exploit the riches of young talent on its doorstep.
"It's one of the most important catchment areas for player recruitment, not only in France or Europe, but in the world," added Comolli. "Just look at the French national team - 80% of the players come from the Paris area.
"It's funny - the very talented players from Paris don't play for PSG. They play for Rennes, St Etienne or Lyon, like ex-Lyonnais winger Hatem Ben Arfa, who was born in Paris.
"PSG had a reputation for not producing players. And players from their academy would never have a chance to play in the first team.
"But PSG's under-17s have won the league as have their under-19s [last] season. They now look much stronger in youth development.
"At those ages the key thing is not to win titles, but to bring players through. However, they are on the right track."
But Grimandi warns that PSG's new-found riches will require a delicate balancing act from Leonardo and the club's coach Antoine Kombouare.
"PSG now face a difficult task - finding the right balance between developing young players and signing top, top players," said the Arsenal scout.
Former Lyon boss Alain Perrin, who now coaches Qatari club Al Khor, also warns it is imperative Kombouare makes a good start given that PSG are still busy recruiting.
"The team is late coming together and the coach needs time and it can be difficult to come back if you start slowly."
But Comolli predicted that PSG's near 20-year title drought is unlikely to go on for much longer - though whether they can challenge for the Champions League is debatable.
"They will need a bit of time, but they will challenge for the title this season and I think they will easily qualify for the Champions League.
"But it takes time to win a winning mentality to win the Champions League. You only have to look at Chelsea.
"You have to ask is the French league competitive enough to give PSG a sufficient challenge for them to be ready to compete in the Champions League."
And what about other top European teams - need they fear a newly-rich PSG?
"I think it will change French football, but I don't think it will have an impact on European football," said Comolli. "Liverpool will always be Liverpool, Real Madrid will always be Real Madrid and Inter Milan will always be Inter Milan."
FRANKFORT — Less than a week after a proposal to allow "Instant Racing" gambling came flying out of a Senate committee, the bill has been sidetracked and looks unlikely to finish the legislative race.
Senate President David Williams predicted late Tuesday the proposal would be stripped from House Bill 368 on Wednesday by the Senate State and Local Government Committee, but the panel did not take up the measure during its noon meeting Wednesday.
Committee chairman Damon Thayer, who favors allowing electronic Instant Racing games at the state's racetracks, said he put the bill on hold because he did not have the votes to pass the version of the bill that he prefers.
"Nobody's happy. I'm not happy," said Thayer, R-Georgetown, who last Thursday added language that would allow racetracks to install electronic gambling on randomly chosen previously run races. "There are challenges present in building a consensus on this bill, so we're going to pass over it, perhaps for another time."
Sen. Robin Webb, D-Grayson, and Sen. Jimmy Higdon, R-Lebanon, both elected in special elections last year that hinged on expanded gambling, said they would have changed their vote to no.
Thayer said anti-gambling opponents rallied against the bill, which made some members of the Republican caucus "skittish" about voting for it on the floor.
"I felt very good when this bill came out of committee last week," Thayer said. "I've been talking about Instant Racing as a lone voice in the wilderness now for about three years. It got momentum. It seemed like we had bipartisan support to move the bill forward as a solution to offer some help and some hope to the ho...
Williams, the Senate president, said racetracks also share part of the blame for the bill's demise. "The tracks really don't want anything but slot machines," said Williams, R-Burkesville. "They are not particularly interested in helping purses or breeders' incentive funds."
Kentucky track officials, who contend they need some form of expanded gambling to compete with other states that have it, denied Williams' allegation.
Although the tracks have not pushed for Instant Racing, Churchill Downs spokesman John Asher said they were ready to get behind the bill.
"I don't think it was the horse industry that derailed it. There was a significant segment in support, especially some of the smaller tracks. We were looking at it," Asher said of Churchill Downs.
Forward Reid Duke (37) listens to instruction during the Vegas Golden Knights’ Development Camp at City National Arena in Summerlin Wednesday, June 27, 2018.
Reid Duke turned in early Tuesday night, prepping for today’s game in the AHL with the Chicago Wolves. He didn’t expect his roommate to wake him up to answer a late-night phone call.
The voice on the other end gave him the news he had long been hoping to hear. The first Golden Knight is finally a Golden Knight.
Duke was told to report immediately to join the team in Las Vegas.
The Golden Knights announced the move today, making roster space by assigning forward Daniel Carr to the AHL. Duke got to the airport at 5 a.m. today for a flight to Las Vegas and was one of the first on the ice at City National Arena for the Golden Knights’ optional skate at noon.
Coach Gerard Gallant did not commit to Duke playing in Thursday’s home game against the Chicago Blackhawks.
Max Pacioretty returned to the ice today after missing Tuesday’s game, and if Pacioretty plays, then the final spot on third line with Ryan Carpenter and Tomas Nosek will either go to Duke or Oscar Lindberg, who had two assists Tuesday.
Duke had six goals and seven assists in 22 games in the AHL. He was originally selected in the sixth round of the 2014 draft by the Minnesota Wild.
During her interview with Charlie Rose, Megyn Kelly denied that Fox News has a right-wing bias. That was not only outrageous, our readers voted it the most outrageous in last week's Outrageous Fox Quote of the Week poll.
Kelly's quote was simple: "I think that Fox News is fair and balanced." But she was the runaway winner in last week's poll. She garnered 84 of the 208 votes. That was more than double her closest competitor.
You can view the full poll and its results here.
This week's Outrageous Fox Quote of the Week poll is coming up soon.
Mayor Martin J. Walsh (top left, on stairs) toured the new industrial workshop and innovation studio at Autodesk.
Autodesk held an open house Wednesday to show off its new industrial workshop and innovation studio in South Boston. The 34,000-square-foot work space, part of the industrial software maker’s offices at the Innovation and Design Building, is a toy room of tools and technologies for builders and designers. The space has...
A router is used to recreate a lion head sculpture at the facility.
3-D data can be turned into two-dimensional prints.
Jose Garcia Del Castillo (far left) and Michael Dewberry use a robotic arm to decorate a cake during a demonstration.
Russia can forget about its oil interests in Iraq, as Washington and London will cut Moscow out of any postwar carve-up of the world's second largest crude reserves, a Russian oil chief said on March 28.
"We're clearly going to have to cut our losses on anything we have there and anything we could have had," the head of the Russian state-run oil firm Zarubezhneft, Nikolai Tokarev, told the daily Vremya Novostei.
"The Americans haven't gone into this war intending to share with anyone. It's a war trophy," he said.
Analyst Sergei Rogov of the U.S.A.-Canada Institute agreed that there was no point in rushing to try part of postwar Iraq's oil wealth. "We won't get even a breadcrumb," he said.
Moreover, "as far as oil contracts as concerned, Russian firms don't have the capital or technology needed to develop Iraqi oil fields, they would have needed Western firms in any case," he told reporters.
Iraq possesses the second largest oil deposits in the world after Saudi Arabia.
The U.S. ambassador to Moscow offered assurances on March 28, telling the daily Nezavisimaya Gazeta that Washington would "seek ways of respecting Russian economic interests (in Iraq) in the framework of joint work with the U.N. or other organizations."
But Alexander Vershbow warned that the United States "can offer no guarantees, because we will not be able to dictate the attitude of the next Iraqi government."

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