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CRN Partner Program Guide 2017
Oracle NetSuite was recognized as a winner of the 2017 CRN Partner Program Guide. The guide, which offers information that solution providers need to evaluate IT vendors they work with or are considering working with, is based on detailed applications that vendors submitted outlining all aspects of their partner programs.
CRN 100 People You Don't Know But Should 2017
Oracle NetSuite's Head of Solution Provider Programs, Will Chan, was listed as one of CRN's 100 People You Don't Know But Should for 2017. The award aims to recognize some of the channel's best and brightest people who may not be as visible as some channel chiefs but are just as important to the partner community.
CardRates.com Editor’s Choice Award
NetSuite earned CardRates.com’s Editor’s Choice Award for its cloud-based ERP solution and financial management platform. NetSuite provides a single, cohesive application and comprehensive solution, enabling global access to real-time data from any web browser or mobile device.
CRN Channel Chiefs 2017
Craig West, Oracle NetSuite GBU SVP of Channel Sales, was recognized by CRN as one of the top channel chiefs in 2017 for demonstrating loyalty and ongoing support for the IT channel by consistently promoting and executing outstanding channel partner programs. West’s leadership has helped increase the number of VARs and systems integrators building NetSuite Cloud ERP practices to more than 400 worldwide.
2017 CRM Watchlist Winner
NetSuite was listed as one of the winners of the 2017 CRM Watchlist, an impact award that recognizes global technology and services firms that stand out in a highly competitive CRM marketplace.
V3 Technology Awards 2016
NetSuite was awarded Best in Business Software Provider at the V3 Technology Awards 2016.
Constellation Research's 2016 SuperNova Award
Ed McMahon, CEO of Epec Engineered Technologies, was awarded with Constellation Research's 2016 SuperNova Technology Optimization and Innovation Award. The Constellation SuperNova Awards are the first and only awards to celebrate the leaders and teams who have overcome the odds to successfully apply emerging and disruptive technologies for their organizations.
2016 CRM Excellence Award
NetSuite won the 2016 CRM Excellence Award from CUSTOMER Magazine for its industry-leading CRM solution. The winners have been chosen based on their product or service’s ability to help extend and expand the customer relationship to become all encompassing. Each winner has demonstrated the improvements that their products have made in their clients' businesses, as proven by hard data, facts and figures.
2016 SIIA CODiE Award for Best Financial Management Mobile Application
NetSuite for Android was selected as the SIIA CODiE Award winner for Best Financial Management Mobile Application. NetSuite is one of the 61 winners announced in the Business Technology category.
CRN 100 Coolest Cloud Vendors 2016
NetSuite was named as one of CRN’s Top 100 Coolest Cloud Vendors in 2016 for enabling organizations and enterprises to leverage the many benefits of cloud computing.
CFO Readers' Choice Awards
NetSuite was named as the winner of CFO’s Readers' Choice Awards for Tier 2 ERP systems, beating competitors like Sage and Epicor.
2016 Supply & Demand Chain Provider Pros to Know
Sid Geddam, NetSuite VP and GM of Warehouse Management System, was named by Supply Chain & Demand Executive as one of the Provider Pros to Know for helping prepare supply chain clients meet the significant challenges in the year ahead.
GetRank Q1 2016 for Accounting
NetSuite was listed #1 for Accounting in GetRank, GetApp’s ranking of the top 25 Accounting apps based in the cloud.
Craig West, NetSuite Vice President for Channel Sales, was recognized by CRN as one of the 50 most influential channel chiefs in 2016 for demonstrating loyalty and ongoing support for the IT channel by consistently promoting, defending and executing outstanding channel partner programs. West’s leadership has helped increase the number of VARs and systems integrators building NetSuite Cloud ERP practices to well more than 375 worldwide.
NetSuite was recognized as a winner of the 2016 CRN Partner Program Guide under the Five-Star Cloud Program. The guide, which offers information that solution providers need to evaluate IT vendors they work with or are considering working with, is based on detailed applications vendors submitted outlining all aspects of their partner programs.
NetSuite was named as one of CRN’s Top 100 Coolest Cloud Vendors in 2015 for enabling organizations and enterprises to leverage the many benefits of cloud computing. NetSuite was also ranked 5th in The 20 Coolest Cloud Software Vendors of The 2015 Cloud 100.
Software Magazine 2015 Software 500
NetSuite was included in Software Magazine’s 2015 Software 500, the 33rd annual Software 500 ranking of the world’s largest software and services companies.
2015 Manufacturing Leadership 100
NetSuite customer Epec Engineered Technologies won an ML100 award under the Enterprise Technology Leadership category. This award category recognizes companies that have revamped their corporate IT and communications strategies and systems, embracing approaches such as cloud computing, social media and advanced enterprise software applications.
Retail Innovator Awards 2015
Dave Munson, the founder and president of NetSuite customer Saddleback Leather, is one of the recipients of the 2015 Retail Innovator Awards for contributing to their business and the retail industry in unique ways, embracing the new disruptive forces in retail.
Frost & Sullivan's 2015 Customer Value Leadership Award
NetSuite won Frost & Sullivan's 2015 Customer Value Leadership Award for Wholesale Distribution. This prestigious recognition is based on a company's demonstrated excellence in proactively creating value for its customers. Value is identified by improved return on investment for customers and superb customer service leading to customer retention and customer base expansion.
Constellation Research’s 2015 Supernova Awards
Jordan Kivelstadt, CEO of NetSuite customer Free Flow Wines, was awarded with Constellation Research’s 2015 SuperNova Matrix Commerce Award. The Constellation SuperNova Awards are the first and only awards to celebrate the leaders and teams who have overcome the odds to successfully apply emerging and disruptive technologies for their organizations.
Erica Stevens, VP of Supply Chain and Information Technology of NetSuite customer Dylan’s Candy Bar, bagged Constellation Research’s 2015 Technology Optimization & Innovation SuperNova Award. The Constellation SuperNova Awards are the first and only awards to celebrate the leaders and teams who have overcome the odds to successfully apply emerging and disruptive technologies for their organizations.
CRN’s 2015 Cloud Computing Partner Program Guide
NetSuite made it to CRN’s 2015 Cloud Computing Partner Program Guide. The guide identifies the leading IT vendors whose Cloud Partner Programs benefit the growth of solution providers and the indirect IT channel in their cloud initiatives. CRN’s 2015 Cloud Computing Partner Program Guide aims to provide a valuable resource for Solution Providers to easily access vendors that have products and programs tailored to the growth of this thriving technology area.
Communitas Awards 2015
NetSuite was recognized as a winner of the 2015 Communitas Awards under the Leadership in Community Service category. Communitas is inspired by the vision of a better world and is an attempt to do something about it through volunteerism, investment and ethical, sustainable business practices.
CRN’s 25 Most Influential Executives of 2015
NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson was ranked 19th overall in CRN’s 25 Most Influential Executives of 2015 for being the undisputed and undefeated midmarket cloud computing king of the hill. The list includes executives who have set the agenda for the channel and for the industry through their vision, passion and fire.
CRN's Top 25 Channel Sales Leaders of 2015
NetSuite VP for Channel Sales Craig West ranked 10th overall in CRN's Top 25 Channel Sales Leaders of 2015 for building what may well be the top recurring revenue solution provider network in the business. The list includes CEOs and channel chiefs who have risen to the challenge of the changing role of IT in an increasingly off-premise, mobile and digital world.
Supply & Demand Chain Executive's 100 Great Supply Chain Projects
NetSuite customers, Akustica, S-One, and TJM Innovations, were featured in Supply & Demand Chain Executive's 100 Great Supply Chain Projects, which recognized supply chain leaders, who have achieved supply chain excellence through supply chain solutions and service providers.
Bay Area News Group Top Workplaces 2015
NetSuite ranked 4th for Large companies in the Bay Area News Group Top Workplaces 2015 Awards. The Top Workplaces are determined based solely on employee feedback. The employee survey is conducted by WorkplaceDynamics, LLP, a leading research firm on organizational health and employee engagement.
The Denver Post Top Workplaces 2015
NetSuite placed 24th for Midsized companies in the Denver Post Top Workplaces 2015 Awards. The Top Workplaces are determined based solely on employee feedback. The employee survey is conducted by WorkplaceDynamics, LLP, a leading research firm on organizational health and employee engagement.
2015 SIIA CODiE Award for Best Financial Management Solution
NetSuite OneWorld was selected as the SIIA CODiE Award winner for Best Financial Management Solution. NetSuite is one of the 28 winners announced in the software category.
2015 ISM Top 15 CRM
NetSuite CRM was selected as one of the winners of the ISM Top 15 CRM Software Awards for Small and Medium Business solutions. The winners were named based on rigorous testing of CRM software applications from around the world that are sold in the North American marketplace and were rated according to 179 selection criteria.
2015 Supply & Demand Chain Executive Pros to Know
Gavin Davidson, NetSuite's Industry Lead for Manufacturing, was recognized for helping supply chain clients, and the supply chain community at large, to prepare to meet the significant challenges in the year ahead.
NetSuite received a 2015 CRM Excellence Award from CUSTOMER Magazine for its industry-leading CRM solution. The winners have been chosen based on their product or service's ability to help extend and expand the customer relationship to become all encompassing. Each winner has demonstrated the improvements that their products have made in their clients' businesses, as proven by hard data, facts and figures.
Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces 2015
NetSuite was recognized as one of the Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces in North America for the fifth consecutive year for displaying leadership and innovation in engaging their employees. NetSuite was also named to the Elite 8 for corporate social responsibility, an initiative led by its corporate citizenship arm NetSuite.org.
Craig West, NetSuite Vice President for Channel Sales, was recognized by CRN as one of the 50 most influential channel chiefs in 2015 for driving the strategic development, growth and success of NetSuite's Solution Provider Program since its inception in 2002. West is a five-time recipient of the award.
UK Cloud Awards 2015
NetSuite OneWorld won a UK Cloud award for ERP Product of the Year. The UK Cloud Awards 2015 aims to recognize and celebrate excellence within the UK cloud industry, rewarding the best cloud providers, products and projects from the past year, as decided by an expert panel of independent judges.
NetSuite Regional Vice President for Global System Integrator Partners Daniel McAllister was named in CRN's 100 People You Don't Know But Should in 2014.
CRN Enterprise App Awards 2014
NetSuite TribeHR Mobile for iOS won the Enterprise App Award under the Human Capital Management category. The 2014 Enterprise App Awards (The Appys) distinguish the best of the best mobile apps for business, recognizing outstanding achievement in driving enterprise IT into the palms of the market.
CRN Cloud Partner Program Guide 2014
NetSuite was recognized as a 5-Star Partner Program in the inaugural CRN Cloud Partner Program Guide, a list of the leading technology vendors with cloud-related partner programs designed to benefit members of the indirect IT channel and their cloud initiatives. The 5-Star rating is bestowed on programs whose overall rating is among the elite based on company size.
CRN Top 100 Executives 2014
NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson made it to CRN's Annual Top 100 Executives list under the category "Top 25 Most Influential," a collection of the individuals who had the biggest impact on the tech industry in the last 12 months. The prestigious award salutes individual channel executives for continuing to change the way the channel does business while shaping their organization's future.
2014 MDM Market Mover Award
NetSuite customer Capitol Coffee won the MDM Market Mover Award, showcasing their success and company growth with NetSuite SuiteCommerce.
2014 Global Finance Best Supply Chain Finance Providers Awards
NetSuite won the "Best Inventory Management" category in the 2014 Best Supply Chain Finance Providers Awards from Global Finance magazine. Global Finance's editorial team—with input from industry analysts, corporate executives and technology experts—selects the best providers of supply chain financing and management services.
2014 Supply & Demand Chain Executive Green Award
NetSuite won the 2014 Green Supply Chain Awards, which recognizes companies making green or sustainability a core part of their supply chain strategy, and are working to achieve measurable sustainability goals within their own operations and/or supply chains.
NetSuite was included in Software Magazine's 2014 Software 500, the 32nd annual Software 500 ranking of the world's largest software and services companies.
Forbes Most Innovative Growth Companies
NetSuite ranked 2nd in Forbes' list of the World's Most Innovative Growth Companies.
NetSuite customer Liberty Bottleworks won an ML100 award under the Engineering & Production Leadership category for its success as the world's first user of cylindrical digital printing technology in commercial bottle manufacturing. It was also recognized for the operational efficiencies it has achieved since launching its business on NetSuite in 2010.
NetSuite customer CMP Corporation won an ML100 award under the Operational Leadership category for its Lean Manufacturing Initiative. The initiative, which included the replacement of a costly and inefficient Visual Manufacturing application and a Microsoft SQL Server database with NetSuite, helped eliminate waste and generate cost-efficiencies across the company.
Supply and Demand Chain Executive 100
NetSuite was listed as one of the '100 Great Supply Chain Projects,' which have demonstrated the flexibility to react to change and the vision to prepare for the future.
ROI Awards 2014
NetSuite customer MusclePharm won Nucleus Research's 11th annual Technology ROI Awards, which highlighted organizations that have successfully leveraged IT deployments to maximize value per dollar spent. MusclePharm's NetSuite implementation earned it an ROI of 1,977% with a payback in one month and an average annual benefit of $1,864,848.
2014 CODiE Award for Best Commerce Solution
NetSuite SuiteCommerce was selected as the SIIA CODiE award winner for Best Commerce Solution. NetSuite is one of the 28 winners in the software and services category that was recognized from a pool of 125 finalists.
2014 CODiE Award for Best Financial Management Solution
NetSuite OneWorld was selected as the SIIA CODiE award winner for Best Financial Management Solution. NetSuite is one of the 28 winners in the software and services category that was recognized from a pool of 125 finalists.
2014 CODiE Award for Best Project Management Solution
NetSuite PSA was selected as the SIIA CODiE award winner for Best Project Management Solution. NetSuite is one of the 28 winners in the software and services category that was recognized from a pool of 125 finalists.
NetSuite placed 16th for Midsized companies in the Bay Area News Group Top Workplaces 2014 Awards. The Top Workplaces are determined based solely on employee feedback. The employee survey is conducted by WorkplaceDynamics, LLP, a leading research firm on organizational health and employee engagement.
2014 Supply & Demand Chain Executive
Ranga Bodla, NetSuite Senior Director of Industry Marketing for Manufacturing and Wholesale Distribution, was recognized for exemplifying the talent, knowledge, skills and effort necessary to succeed in the supply chain.
NetSuite received a 2014 CRM Excellence Award from CUSTOMER Magazine for its industry-leading CRM solution. All winners are chosen based on the ability of their products and services to help extend and expand the customer relationship to become all encompassing. The CRM Excellence Award is based on hard data, facts and figures, with each winner having demonstrated the improvements their products have made in their clients' businesses.
NetSuite Recognized as a 2014 CRN 5-Star Partner Program Guide Winner
The 5-Star Partner Program rating recognizes the elite subset of Partner Program Guide vendors who give solution providers the best partnering elements in their channel programs. The 5-Star rating is bestowed on programs whose overall rating is among the elite based on company size.
NetSuite Channel VP Craig West Recognized as CRN's Channel Chief 2014
Pioneer recognized by CRN for mapping out first model to make channel successful with NetSuite cloud business applications. Craig West also listed as one of the Top 50 Most Influential Channel Chiefs.
Cloud Awards 2013-14
NetSuite won a Cloud Award for Best Cloud Reseller/Reseller Program category. The Cloud Awards recognize excellence and innovation in the sphere of Cloud Computing.
Technology Evaluation Center (TEC) Certification
NetSuite ERP achieves TEC Certification. TEC Certification is an impartial review that verifies a software product's ability to address real-world business processes.
Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces Award 2013
NetSuite Inc. won The Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces™ Awards in the United States. The award recognizes outstanding employers who champion employee-centric work environments.
Software Satisfaction Awards 2013
NetSuite beats Sage, Microsoft and SAP in the AccountingWEB Software Satisfaction Awards 2013, named the Best Financials and ERP Software by UK software users.
NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson made CRN's Annual Top 100 Executives list under the category “Top 25 Most Influential”. The prestigious award salutes individual channel executives for continuing to change the way the channel does business while shaping their organization's future.
NetSuite VP of Partner Marketing Amede Hungerford named to CRN's 100 People You Don't Know But Should in 2013. Channel leader featured for being a driving force of NetSuite's channel sales growth.
Golden Bridge Awards 2013
NetSuite CFO Ron Gill won the CFO of the Year Award under the Management and Professionals category at the Golden Bridge Awards 2013. The Golden Bridge Awards are an annual industry and peers recognition program honoring the best companies from all over the world.
International ICT Awards Philippines 2013
NetSuite named a finalist in the Most Innovative BPO Company of the Year category. The annual International ICT Awards Philippines recognizes success in organizations and individuals who contribute in branding the Philippines as the world's BPO destination of choice for multinational companies.
Progressive Employer Award 2013
NetSuite won the regional Progressive Employer Award for the South Moravian Region in the Czech Republic.
NetSuite placed 13th for Midsized companies in the Bay Area News Group Top Workplaces 2013 Awards. The Bay Area News Group partnered with Workplace Dynamics to conduct employee surveys, rating companies on company conditions, direction, execution, career path, management, and pay and benefits.
Bay Area CFO of The Year
NetSuite CFO Ron Gill won the Bay Area CFO of the Year Award for public companies with revenue up to $500 million. The award recognizes a CFO who has made an outstanding contribution to his/her company's performance as well as to the greater Bay Area business community over the past year.
NetSuite CRM 2012.2 & NetSuite ERP selected as an ISM Top 15 CRM SMB Winner. The annual Top 15 CRM Software Awards are based on rigorous testing of CRM software programs from around the world that are sold in the North American marketplace.
2013 CODiE Award for Best Cloud Infrastructure
NetSuite SuiteCloud selected as the SIIA CODiE award winner for Best Cloud Infrastructure. NetSuite is one of 26 winners from 100 finalists recognized for industry excellence. The CODiE Awards remain the only peer-recognized program in the content, education, and software industries, so each CODiE Award win serves as incredible market validation for a product's innovation, vision, and overall industry impact.
NetSuite OneWorld selected as the SIIA CODiE award winner for Best Financial Management Solution. NetSuite is one of 26 winners from 100 finalists recognized for industry excellence. The CODiE Awards remain the only peer-recognized program in the content, education, and software industries, so each CODiE Award win serves as incredible market validation for a product's innovation, vision, and overall industry impact.
NetSuite won 2013 CRM Excellence Award, presented by CUSTOMER magazine. Based on hard data, the CRM Excellence Awards rely on facts and statistics demonstrating the improvements that the winner's product has made in a client's business.
Forbes America's 100 Most Trustworthy Companies
Forbes named NetSuite as one of America's 100 most trustworthy companies. NetSuite is one of only two software companies named to the list and the only large-cap company of any type to receive a near-perfect accounting and governance risk (AGR) score of 99.
2013 Computer World Honors Laureate
NetSuite.org named a 2013 Laureate by IDG's Computerworld Honors Program. The annual award program honors visionary applications of information technology promoting positive social, economic and educational change.
Manufacturing Leadership 100
Better Energy Systems Inc.'s CEO Andy Howe won an ML100 award under the Individual Achievement Category, Turnaround Award, highlighting NetSuite as a 'pillar of strength' for their company's success.
Pioneer recognized by CRN for mapping out first model to make channel successful with NetSuite cloud business applications.
European IT & Software Excellence Awards 2013
NetSuite selected as a finalist for the European IT & Software Excellence Awards 2013 under the Software Vendor of the Year category.
Fortune's 2012 Businessperson of the Year
NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson ranked #33 in Fortune's 2012 Businessperson of the Year list.
Software Satisfaction Awards Winner 2012
NetSuite won Best Corporate CRM and Contact Management Solution at the Software Satisfaction Awards 2012.
IBD Top 10 New America
NetSuite won Investor's Business Daily's Top 10 New America for the 1st half of 2012 award, being recognized for the drive and entrepreneurial spirit that results in becoming a big market leader.
Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces Award
NetSuite Canada won The Achievers 50 Most Engaged Workplaces™ Awards. The award recognizes outstanding employers who champion employee-centric work environments.
XCellence in Cloud Bootcamp Execution Award
NetSuite won the XCellence in Cloud Bootcamp Execution Award at XChange 2012, which was voted on by channel partners and VARs. The XChange XCellence Awards measure overall solution provider perceptions of vendor products, services, programs, and presentations during XChange 2012.
eTail Rising Star in Service Technology
NetSuite Inc. has been recognized as an eTail Rising Star in Service Technology by the eTail community.
CRN 100 People You Don't Know But Should in 2012
Channel trailblazer David Appel, NetSuite Director of Channel New Markets, recognized for being the driving force behind the recruitment of mid-market VARs, and enabling, educating and training them to make their way into the cloud.
NetSuite placed 10th for Midsized companies in the Top Workplaces in the Bay Area for 2012. The Bay Area News Group partnered with Workplace Dynamics to conduct employee surveys, rating companies on company conditions, direction, execution, career path, management, and pay and benefits.
AccountingToday's Top New Products of 2012
NetSuite OneWorld has been recognized as one of AccountingToday's Top New Products of 2012.
European Software Excellence Awards 2012
NetSuite listed as a 2012 Finalist in the IT Europa-European Software Excellence Awards for 'SaaS-Enterprise Solution' category.
Top 100 Executives by CRN Magazine
NetSuite CEO, Zach Nelson, was listed as one of the 'Top 10 Channel Advocates' of 2011.
NetSuite's Vice President of Channel Sales, Craig West, was listed as one of the 'Top 10 Next-Gen Channel Leaders' of 2011.
Asia CEO Award Winner for 2011
NetSuite won 'Technology Team of the Year' from the prestigious Asia CEO Awards for its innovative product development in the Philippines.
Software Satisfaction Award Winner 2011
NetSuite won “Best Enterprise Accounting & Finance Solution” in UK's Software Satisfaction Award 2011.
NetSuite OneWorld Voted Best Service Solution in Back Office SaaS Category by Nikkei
I Love Rewards 50 Most Engaged Workplaces Award 2011
I Love Rewards voted NetSuite as one of the 50 Most Engaged Workplaces. This award is presented to companies for being an outstanding employer that provides an engaging place to work.
25 Cloud Vendors You Need to Know
NetSuite was named one of the "25 Cloud Vendors You Need to Know" by Everything Channel's CRN. This list recognizes the key vendors that CRN's research shows are best positioned to capture the massive market opportunity that cloud computing and SaaS create, including those vendors that have made the biggest splash both in the market and with the channel.
Customer Interaction Solutions Awards NetSuite CRM+ with a 2011 CRM Excellence Award. The companies selected have demonstrated that their products and services have substantially improved the processes of their clients' businesses by streamlining and facilitating the flow of information needed for companies to retain their most precious assets, their customers.
NetSuite won prestigious 2011 CODiE Award for Best Financial Management Solution. This accolade was bestowed to NetSuite by The Software & Information Industry Association (SIIA). NetSuite is one of the thirty-one winners from 395 nominations recognized for industry excellence, beating out top competitors in the space.
2011 CRN 5-Star Partner Program Guide
NetSuite recognized as a 2011 CRN 5-Star Partner Program Guide winner. The 5-Star Partner Program rating recognizes the elite subset of Partner Program Guide vendors who give solution providers the best partnering elements in their channel programs. The 5-Star rating is bestowed on programs whose overall rating is among the elite based on company size.
NetSuite Advanced Revenue Recognition has been recognized as one of AccountingToday's Top New Products of 2011.
2011 ISM's Top 15 CRM
NetSuite CRM 2011.1 was selected as an ISM Top 15 CRM SMB Winner.
NetSuite CRM+ Awarded 2010 Customer Interaction Solutions Product of the Year
The editors of Customer Interaction Solutions selected NetSuite to receive an esteemed Product of the Year Award based on vision, leadership and diligence. This accolade represents the best in the industry, winners of the Product of the Year Award have demonstrated a devotion to excellence and the further advancement of the call center and CRM industry through their innovative products and services.
CRN Top 100 Most Influential Executives 2010
CRN Salutes NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson as Top 25 Most Influential Executive In The Industry and NetSuite VP of Channel Sales Craig West as Top 25 Channel Maverick.
NetSuite named to the Software 500 ranking of the world's largest software and services companies.
I Love Rewards votes NetSuite as one of the 50 Most Engaged Workplaces. This award is presented to companies for being an outstanding employer that provides an engaging place to work.
Cloud Computing World Series Awards
At the Cloud Computing World Series Awards 2010 in London, NetSuite was voted the best cloud application by a panel of leading independent experts, beating out several other vendors to win the award.
NetSuite Awarded Three CODiE Awards by the Software & Information Industry Association
The 25th Annual CODiE Awards recognized NetSuite for industry excellence in three different categories. “Now in its 25th year, the CODiE Awards continue to recognize those companies providing the best new technology products and services across a broad array of industries,” said SIIA President Ken Wasch.
NetSuite OneWorld Wins CODiE Award for Best Business Software Solution
NetSuite SuiteCloud Wins CODiE Award for Best Cloud Infrastructure Software
NetSuite CRM+ Wins CODiE Award for Best Relationship Management Solution.
NetSuite's UK-based customers voted NetSuite OneWorld as the Enterprise Accounting Software of the year in Sift Media's Software Satisfaction Awards 2009. NetSuite beat previous two-time winner PS Financials, COA Solutions and Integra Enterprise. The win continues NetSuite's success in the Software Satisfaction Awards, following two CRM awards that were received in the 2008 ceremony.
CPA Technology Advisor Awards NetSuite with 5-Star Rating
NetSuite received a perfect 5-star rating in June 2009's detailed product review conducted by The CPA Technology Advisor. NetSuite beat out four other accounting applications. This marks the fifth straight year NetSuite has received a perfect 5 of 5 stars.
“NetSuite is to be praised for obtaining the Top 15 honor as ISM's software selection process is strenuous and comprehensive,” said Barton Goldenberg, president, ISM. “The winners of the 2009 Top 15 continue to raise the bar for the industry with significant advancements in both functionality and connectibility. NetSuite is a leader in the CRM / ERP/ Ecommerce industry.”
2009 CRM Excellence Award from Customer Interaction Solutions Magazine
NetSuite Inc. receives 2009 CRM Excellence Award from Customer Interaction Solutions Magazine. The CRM Excellence Award is given by Customer Interaction Solutions which has been the premier publication in the CRM, call center and teleservices industries since 1982. The 10th Annual CRM Excellence Awards winners have been chosen on the basis of their product or service's ability to help extend and expand the customer relationship to become all encompassing, covering the entire enterprise and the entire lifetime of the customer.
The CRM Excellence Award is based on hard data, facts and numbers demonstrating the improvements that the winner's product has made in a client's business.
2008 Product of the Year Award from Customer Interaction Solutions magazine
Customer Interaction Solutions® Magazine named NetSuite OneWord a recipient of a 2008 Product of the Year Award. NetSuite has demonstrated to the editors of Customer Inter@ction Solutions that its products have gone the extra mile to help improve both the customer experience and the ROI for the companies that use them.
Accounting Today Top 100 Products 2008
Accounting Today Names NetSuite to its Top 100 Product List in the High-End and Mid-Market Accounting Category.
Software Satisfaction Awards 2008: Best Enterprise CRM Software and Best Mid-Range CRM Software
U.K. customers voted NetSuite CRM+ as Best Enterprise Software and NetSuite CRM as the Best Mid-Range Software in the customer relationship management (CRM) category of Sift Media's Software Satisfaction Awards 2008. These awards reward high standards from software application providers serving U.K. businesses. The awards are based on the views of genuine buyers and end users of business software applications—not those of a judging panel.
Deloitte Fast 50 2008
NetSuite ranked #22 on Deloitte's Technology Fast 50 Program for Silicon Valley Software and Information Technology (IT) companies, which recognizes the fastest-growing technology companies in Silicon Valley. Rankings are based on percentage of revenue growth over five years, from fiscal year 2003–2007. NetSuite's revenues grew 1,201 percent during this period.
CPA Technology Advisor—5-Star Rating
NetSuite received a perfect 5-star rating in a recent detailed product review conducted by The CPA Technology Advisor, beating seven other accounting applications. This marks the fourth straight year NetSuite has received a perfect 5 of 5 stars.
2008 SIIA CODiE Award for Best Ecommerce Solution
NetSuite won a 2008 SIIA CODiE Award for Best Ecommerce Solution. The 23rd Annual SIIA CODiE Award for Best Ecommerce Solution recognizes the best software solution designed to enhance efficiency across a wide range of ecommerce business functions, including personalization tools, shopping carts, comparison bots, order forms, and delivery processes, as well as other innovative features.
NetSuite awarded the 2008 ISM Top 15 Award Winner for Customer Relationship Management (CRM).
The Top 25 CRM Influencers of 2007
Inside CRM evaluates top influencers who have changed the CRM landscape, made big impacts this year and whose ideas promise more changes in 2008.
CPA Technology Advisor—NetSuite Receives 5 Star Rating for Mid-Range Accounting
The CPA Technology Advisor evaluated nine "mid-range" accounting software packages based on the following areas: ease-of-use / transaction entry; modules and notable features; integration and import / export; reporting; support / training / help system; and relative value, awarding NetSuite 5 out of 5 stars.
2007 TMC Labs Innovation Award
NetSuite received TMC Labs Innovation Award for 2007. The TMC Labs Innovation Awards honor products that demonstrate raw innovation, unique features, and significant contributions toward improving communications technology.
CPA Technology Advisor—NetSuite—NetSuite Small Business—5-Star Rating
NetSuite Small Business received a perfect 5-star rating in a recent detailed product review conducted by The CPA Technology Advisor, beating MYOB US, Microsoft Office Accounting Professional, and several other small business accounting applications. This marks the third straight year NetSuite Small Business has received a perfect 5 of 5 stars.
2007 ISM Real Time CRM Award
NetSuite received the Real Time CRM Award from ISM. The Top 15 CRM awards, which premiered in 1990, serve as the standard for comprehensive CRM software. The Real Time CRM Awards were introduced last year in response to the dramatic impact real-time CRM applications have on the way customer-facing personnel work.
NetSuite received 2007 CRM Excellence Award from Customer Interaction Solutions Magazine. The CRM Excellence Award is given by Customer Interaction Solutions which has been the premier publication in the CRM, call center and teleservices industries since 1982. The CRM Excellence Awards commend the companies that have proven to be true CRM partners to their customers and clients.
NetSuite was chosen on the basis of their product's ability to help extend and expand the customer relationship to become all encompassing, covering the entire enterprise and the entire lifetime of the customer. The CRM Excellence Award is based on hard data, facts and numbers demonstrating the improvements that the winner's product has made in a client's business.
2006 Product of the Year Award from Communications Solutions
NetSuite received 2006 Product of the Year Award from Communications Solutions. TMC's (Technology Marketing Corporation) Communications Solutions is in the seventh year of presenting the Product of the Year award for the most innovative products and services.
NetSuite has been recognized for their excellence in technological advancement and application refinement.
NetSuite CRM 11.0 and NetSuite 11.0 selected by ISM, Customer Relationship Management (CRM) and eCustomer strategic advisors, as Top 15 CRM Small & Medium Business Software Award winners for 2007. The Top 15 CRM Awards which serve as the standard for comprehensive CRM software, has evolved since 1990—when ISM began the Awards—to be the industry benchmark. The Top 15 winners represent the best and most comprehensive CRM software serving internal and external customers with features ranging from predictive modeling to Web 2.0 to access to handheld/wireless devices.
NetSuite was chosen after intensive testing by the ISM Software Lab at its Bethesda, Md.-based headquarters. Each package was rated according to 217 selection criteria, including 103 business functions, 52 technical features, 36 implementation capabilities, 9 real time criteria and 17 user-support features.
CNET UK Enterprise Software Product of Year Award 2006
CNET UK named NetSuite the winner of the Enterprise Software Product of Year Award for 2006. The Enterprise Software Product of the Year award recognizes innovative product application and excellence in technology and business. Judging criteria included: Innovation, Risk Management, Productivity, Return on Investment, Ease of Management, Ease of Implementation and the Competitive Edge a product provides. Particularly impressed by the way the company continues to deploy cutting-edge technologies without diluting the product's usefulness, and the many satisfied customers who are themselves highly successful, modern enterprises, the judging panel touted NetSuite by saying: “If all business applications worked as well as NetSuite, the argument for hosted services would be won by now.”
2006 CRM Influential Leader
CRM Magazine named NetSuite CEO Zach Nelson as one of 2006's “Influential Leaders” in the CRM industry. Mr. Nelson is recognized for being a driving force behind CRM innovation, changing the CRM industry and spearheading NetSuite's success in the process. The 'Influential Leader' award identifies industry luminaries who have made the CRM industry what it is today and who are shaping it into what it will be tomorrow
CPA Technology Advisor—5-Star Rating 2006
NetSuite Small Business received a perfect 5-star rating in a recent detailed product review conducted by The CPA Technology Advisor, beating Microsoft Office Small Business Accounting 2006, Simply Accounting by Sage, and several other small business accounting applications. This marks the second straight year NetSuite Small Business has received a perfect 5 of 5 stars.
Hottest Overseas Technology Prospect of the Year 2006
NetSuite named Hottest Overseas Technology Prospect of the Year. The Hottest Overseas Technology Prospect of the Year Award is given to the hottest pre-IPO overseas technology company that has been successful in the UK. The judging criteria includes: innovative product relevant to the market; strength of management team; degree of success in the UK marketplace; and strong long-term prospects for the business. This prestigious recognition is a testament to the success that NetSuite's UK operations has achieved in the past 18 months.
ISM Selects NetSuite as Top CRM Software for Third Consecutive Year
NetSuite CRM v. 10.6 and NetSuite v. 10.6 have been selected by ISM Inc., Customer Relationship Management (CRM) and Real-Time Enterprise strategic advisors, as a Top 15 CRM Small & Medium Business Software Award winner for 2006. This is the third straight year that ISM has selected NetSuite to its Top 15 Award list.
Users Select NetSuite “Best Ecommerce Product of The Year” In SmallBusinessComputing.com Annual Poll
SmallBusinessComputing.com's readers voted NetSuite for the annual Best Ecommerce Products of the Year listing. NetSuite is the only on-demand business management software that has won honors for Best Web Analytics and Best Web-Based Tool. SmallBusinessComputing.com polls its readership annually to select the outstanding products of the year that help small businesses increase efficiency and improve productivity.
Customer Inter@ction Solutions® Magazine's "Product of the Year" Award for 2005
Customer Inter@ction Solutions® magazine named NetSuite CRM+ a recipient of a 2005 Product of the Year Award. Each year, Customer Inter@ction Solutions magazine bestows its Product of the Year awards on companies that have demonstrated excellence in technological advancement and application refinements. NetSuite has demonstrated to the editors of Customer Inter@ction Solutions that its products or services have gone the extra mile to help improve both the customer experience and the ROI for the companies that use them.
Inc. Magazine Ranks NetSuite Fastest Growing Private Software Company in the U.S
Inc. Magazine, the premier publication for small and medium-sized businesses, ranked NetSuite, Inc., as the fastest-growing private software company in the United States. With an annual growth rate of more than 1,900 percent, NetSuite ranked No.1 in the Software category and No. 27 overall in the Inc. 500 list of fastest-growing private companies. This is the second year that NetSuite is listed in the Inc. 500 list.
NetSuite Tops Deloitte Fast 50 and Fast 500 Lists
NetSuite ranked #1 on Deloitte's 2005 Silicon Valley Technology Fast 50, which recognizes the fastest growing technology companies in Silicon Valley. NetSuite also ranked #2 on the 2005 Deloitte Technology Fast 500, a ranking of the 500 fastest growing technology companies in North America. Both rankings are based on percentage sales growth over five years, from 2000–2004. NetSuite grew 43,327 percent during this period.
NetSuite Named CRM Market Leader By CRM Magazine For Second Consecutive Year
CRM Magazine has recognized NetSuite as a CRM Market Leader in the SMB Suite CRM category for the second consecutive year. CRM Market Leaders is awarded to the top five vendors in eight categories based on a combination of weighted criteria, including revenues and revenue growth, market share, reputation for customer satisfaction, and depth of functionality.
NetSuite Receives TMC Labs 2005 Innovation Award for Customer Interaction Solutions® Magazine
“The TMC Labs Innovation Awards are based solely upon the uniqueness of the company's offering or how pioneering the particular product or service is. It is not based on company revenue or number of products sold. It is based on the concept that NetSuite is innovative,” according to Tom Keating, CTO and TMC Labs Editorial Director.
NetSuite Awarded Perfect Score By The CPA Technology Advisor
NetSuite Small Business received a perfect, 5-star rating in a recent detailed product review conducted by The CPA Technology Advisor, beating Intuit and a host of other small business accounting applications.
Start Magazine Names NetSuite a Company to “Keep an Eye On”
“Through this contest, Start Magazine seeks to honor technology providers that have proven their solutions to be highly unique, while experiencing strong growth in the process,” said Peggy Smedly, Editorial Director/Publisher, Specialty Publishing Co. “With that, the company to Keep an Eye On award is a designation that, in today's economy, is a worthy achievement, and we congratulate all of our winners.”
Customer Interaction Solutions® Magazine's CRM Excellence Award 2005
NetSuite Receives Customer Interaction Solutions® Magazine's CRM Excellence Award for 2005. Customer Interaction Solutions magazine implemented the CRM Excellence Awards six years ago as a way of commending the companies that have proven to be true CRM partners to their customers and clients. NetSuite has demonstrated to the editors of Customer Interaction Solutions that their products and services have substantially improved the processes of their clients' businesses by streamlining and facilitating the flow of information needed for companies to retain their most precious asset...their customers," said Nadji Tehrani, founder and chairman of TMC, publishers of Customer Interaction Solutions.
2005 SIIA CODiE Award for Best Software Service
NetSuite Wins SIIA CODiE Award for Best Software Service. The Codie Awards, now in its 20th year, showcases the finest companies, products and services in the software and information industry. Ken Wasch, President of SIIA, said, “This year, NetSuite has shown the strength of their product for the corporate market. SIIA congratulates NetSuite on their 2005 Codie Awards win.”
2005 ISM Top 15 Awards
“NetSuite is to be praised for obtaining the Top 15 honor as ISM's software selection process is strenuous and comprehensive,” said Barton Goldenberg, founder and president of ISM. “NetSuite is among the leaders of the CRM industry.”
PC Magazine Technical Excellence Awards
PC Magazine named NetSuite 10.0 a winner of its 21st annual Technical Excellence Awards in the enterprise software category. PC Magazine's Excellence Awards are given out to the year's most innovative products and technologies and the people who did the most to move the industry forward. NetSuite 10.0, named the best application in the enterprise software category, is the world's most popular on-demand integrated CRM/ERP/Ecommerce solution for small and midsize companies.
Inc. Magazine Ranks NetSuite Second Fastest Growing Private U. S. Software Company
Inc. Magazine, the premier publication for small and medium-sized businesses, ranked NetSuite, Inc., as the second fastest growing software company in the United States. With an annual growth rate of more than 1,400%, NetSuite ranked No. 12 overall on the Inc. 500 list of fastest growing private companies. NetSuite is the most widely used integrated on-demand business software for small, midsized and large companies.
CRM Magazine Named NetSuite Market Leader in 2004
CRM Magazine has recognizes NetSuite as a CRM Market Leader in the SMB suite CRM category for 2004. CRM Magazine revealed the winners of its 2004 CRM Leaders awards during DCI's Customer Relationship Management Conference & Exposition in San Francisco. NetSuite's award-winning products include NetSuite, NetSuite Small Business, NetCRM, NetERP and NetCommerce.
CPA Technology Advisor—2004 OVERALL RATING: Five-Star
NetSuite, Inc. has combined front and back office operations into a sophisticated program that is affordable and suitable for small businesses. NetSuite listens to its users, incorporating customer suggestions throughout this latest version. With 24-hour, 7-day-a-week support, this is a company that doesn't forget its users once the product is purchased.
eWEEK Names NetSuite #1 Enterprise CRM Product of 2004
eWEEK, the IT industry's leading enterprise IT magazine, has named NetSuite 9.0 the winner in the CRM category in eWEEK's Fourth Annual Excellence Awards program.
VARBusiness—First ASP to Earn Five-Star Rating
“Through their expertise, solution providers add value to NetSuite's products, ensuring proper, cost-effective implementation of technologies needed to drive business forward.”
PC Magazine—Rated 5 of 5, NetSuite Delivers
“Midsize businesses looking for an integrated solution for front-and-back office operations should give this suite a close look.”
eWEEK—NetSuite
“Compared with other midmarket hosted CRM solutions, NetSuite's application is in a class by itself.”
2004 ISM Top CRM Award
“NetSuite is to be praised for obtaining the Top 15 honor as ISM's software selection process is strenuous and comprehensive.”
Forbes—Best of Web
“The company recently released NetSuite 9.0, a Web-based application, which features UPS shipping integration, serialized inventory and bar-code creation”
Willy Award—NetSuite Named Best Hosted CRM Solution
“NetSuite deserves a Willy in the hosted CRM category.”
Infoworld—Integrated biz suite
“We found NetSuite so easy to use and well-integrated that we awarded it our highest rating of Deploy.”
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Women Of The World Contributor – Sarah Tyley
Hello! I’m Sarah Tyley, born and bred on a dairy farm in Somerset. I currently live in SW France where I have created my own gardening business and where, when I’m not digging up ground elder, I’m focussing on being an Indie Author.
I feel I have lived my life in phases: after the first eighteen growing up in Somerset, I embarked on a seven-year ‘travelling’ phase, most of it solo. I worked grape picking in France: in bars in Hong Kong: as a secretary at the Disney Studios in LA, and as a tree planter in Canada – always taking time in-between to travel and laze on beaches in exotic locations.
Then I moved into a six-year ‘mature student’ phase, where I returned to the UK and studied Environmental Science, an HND in Agricultural Engineering for the Tropics and an MSc in Sustainable Agriculture.
I put my qualifications to use during a nine-year ‘overseas working’ phase – in agricultural economics and community development. For five of those years I was based in West Africa, predominantly Mali, working with female peanut farmers. It was an extraordinary and rich experience working with African women. Inequality was off the chart, and it was strange thinking that I was the only woman in the village with a clitoris! But I have never felt safer or more welcome.
My current phase in SW France started with house-renovating and has moved onto the creation of my gardening business and writing my debut novel, Spaghetti Head, which I published in March 2018. I am also a co-organiser of L’atelier des écrivains – the Writers’ Workshop, here in France. We hold it in a beautiful 18th century manor house and provide a supportive and free environment for women to let their creative juices flow!
Spaghetti Head is set in a world governed by women and focusses on one woman’s struggle to conform when her negative inner critic is doing everything to prevent her from doing so. Working with women peanut farmers in West Africa for five years and experiencing first-hand their resilience and resourcefulness is partly what inspired me to imagine that maybe, one day, women will govern the planet. And having grown up on a dairy farm in Somerset, how could I not include a Friesian cow in my story?
December 18, 2018 /0 Comments/by Ruth Lloyd-Williams
Tags: female entrepreneur, network she, women in business, women mean business, women network, Women of the world
https://www.networkshe.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/IMG_19351.jpg 4032 3024 Ruth Lloyd-Williams https://www.networkshe.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/NetworkShe-logo.png Ruth Lloyd-Williams2018-12-18 12:24:562019-01-11 11:18:27Women Of The World Contributor - Sarah Tyley
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JUST DELICIOUS
FOOD AMBASSADOR
Textbook deadline 'will not be met'
By Drum Digital
The department of basic education will not meet its deadline to deliver textbooks to Limpopo schools on Wednesday, the DA said.
It appeared many schools had not received enough textbooks or none at all by early afternoon, Democratic Alliance education spokeswoman Desiree van der Walt said.
"As the day progresses, it is becoming clear that the deadline for delivering textbooks to all schools in Limpopo will not be met today [Wednesday]," she said in a statement.
Earlier, basic education department director general Bobby Soobrayan said the distribution of textbooks was on track.
"Yesterday [Tuesday] books for Grades One to Three were distributed and today [Wednesday] we are working on Grade Ten."
Soobrayan said the last boxes of books were being loaded into trucks at a central warehouse. From there, they would be taken to district warehouses and then delivered to schools.
In May, the High Court in Pretoria ruled that the department's failure to provide textbooks violated the Constitution. The application was brought by rights organisation Section 27.
Judge Jody Kollapen ordered the department to devise a catch-up plan to remedy the consequences of the delay, and to supply the affected schools with textbooks by June 15. The department failed to meet the court's deadline.
Section 27 and the department met on Thursday and agreed that all books would be delivered to schools by or on Wednesday.
Van der Walt said the DA, which was monitoring the roll out of books, was aware of at least 40 schools, in Polokwane and Modimolle alone, that had not received all the books needed, or none at all.
"A systemic problem in all schools with incomplete orders is that they are not receiving the maths and science books they need."
Soobrayan said the department expected that some schools might need extra books if there were administrative errors in the numbers of pupils it had recorded for each school.
To accommodate this, additional books were available.
On Saturday, Congress of the People MP Tshilidzi Ravhuanzwo said "piles and piles" of text books and stationery had been dumped, apparently for disposal, at a site in Seshego, near Polokwane.
Opposition parties expressed outrage at the wastage, as thousands of pupils in Limpopo schools had not been supplied with textbooks.
DA provincial spokesman Jamie Turkington said in a statement the party would monitor the progress of textbook deliveries in Limpopo throughout the day. He said schools had not been notified that the textbooks would be delivered on Wednesday, and some were not prepared to receive them.
"In the Polokwane district, for instance, delivery trucks arrived at Tom Naude High School, but had to be turned away, because no one [at the school] was notified by the department that books were arriving."
He said some schools did not receive their full consignment.
The DA would donate salvaged books to Lotonang Primary school in Seshego later on Wednesday.
"The books we are donating were salvaged from the site where government was paying a contractor to destroy them," Turkington said.
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KZN girls crack it in IEB matric exams
Kerushun Pillay
Celebrating their Independent Examinations Board (IEB) matric results success are (from left) Josie Grubb from St John’s Diocesan School for Girls, Cherise Khan, also from St John’s, Bernard van der Berg from Michaelhouse, and Sarah Tocknell, Erin Irvins and Nicole Muir, all from St John’s. (Ian Carbutt)
Matric results: 98.9% of pupils pass 2018 IEB exams
6 distinctions for matriculant who faced bullying
Stay disciplined, but also chill: KZN matriculant with 9 distinctions
Girls in KwaZulu-Natal have again edged their male counterparts on the top achievers’ list for the Independent Examinations Board (IEB) matric results.
Out of the 18 pupils in KZN to make the coveted list, 10 were girls, including two from Midlands schools.
- Sign up to receive your matric results and you could win R10 000!
Schools making the list included Michaelhouse, Hilton College, Durban Girls’ College and St Mary’s Diocesan School for Girls.
Those on the outstanding achievement list placed in the top five percent in six or more subjects and got a level seven rating for Life Orientation.
St John’s Diocesan School for Girls (DSG) told The Witness that it achieved the best matric results in its 120-year history.
All 67 of St John’s matriculants achieved a bachelor’s pass, and the school had one pupil in the top achievers’ list, and another four in the commendable achievers’ list.
St Mary’s DSG had three pupils in the top achievers’ list, and three in the commendable list; while Michaelhouse, which had a 100% pass rate, had two boys on the outstanding list.
Joining them was Hilton College, with two pupils making the list. One of them, Niaan Taljaard, scored a perfect 100% for maths.
Pupils from KZN schools made up about a third of the overall list.
The IEB pass rate increased slightly from 98,76% in 2017 to 98,92% in 2018.
The top St John’s pupil, Erin Irvins, who made the outstanding achievers’ list, told The Witness the secret to her success was working consistently throughout the year. “I can’t believe it,” said an ecstatic Erin, who got 7 As. “I don’t cram at the last minute. I paced myself throughout the year and felt completely relaxed before the final exams.”
She plans on studying a Bachelor of Science degree at the University of Pretoria, hoping to become a vet.
Hard work throughout the year pays off for matrics
Michaelhouse’s top pupil, Qaqambile Mehlwana, bagged 9 As.
“I am happy all the hard work paid off. What worked was that I made notes during class instead of making them when it was time to study. That takes up valuable time,” he said.
Qaqambile, who lives in the Eastern Cape, has applied to Stanford University in the United States to study business administration.
His peer, Samuel Kasher, who achieved 7 As, plans to study either business science or actuarial science at the University of Cape Town.
Hilton College’s Niaan Taljaard, who received 7 As, said: “I’m very excited about my results. I worked very hard throughout the year; most people only start studying near exam time.”
He is planning on studying actuarial science at the University of Pretoria.
Other pupils to make the outstanding achievers’ list from Midlands schools were Matthew Karlson, of Hilton College, who got 8 As, and The Wykeham Collegiate’s Margot Inglis, who scored 7 As.
The cohort that achieved a bachelor’s pass increased from 88,50% in 2017 to 90,65% in 2018, but the IEB noted in a statement that this was due to the scrapping of the list of “designated subjects” which would qualify a pupil for a bachelor’s pass provided they achieved at least 50% for the subject.
A total of 12 372 pupils took the IEB exams this year, 2 185 from KZN.
Education analyst Professor Kobus Maree was not surprised at the positive results at IEB schools, and said public education should look to them to learn.
“This is the product of commitment, dedication, hard work and exceptional management at these schools,” he told The Witness. “Their systems are as close to ideal as we can come to. They set a sterling example of how schooling should be handled. Public schools should buddy up with them and learn.”
- See News24's Matric Results page.
Read more on: pietermaritzburg | matric 2018 | matric results
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NY Times Editor Finds Media's Problem: 'Centrist Bias,' Hurting Socialist Democrats
By Clay Waters | December 25, 2019 9:01 PM EST
Former New York Times Washington bureau chief and now-columnist David Leonhardt has found the problem with the press -- they’re just too middle of the road. The headline was “What About Centrist Bias?”
The subject line to Monday’s e-mail newsletter questioned the existence of “Liberal bias?” The online headline made it clearer: “How ‘Centrist Bias’ Hurts Sanders and Warren -- The media has a bigger problem than liberal bias.” He used a November column by Politico editor John F. Harris as a jumping-off point.
...As he explained, “This bias is marked by an instinctual suspicion of anything suggesting ideological zealotry, an admiration for difference-splitting, a conviction that politics should be a tidier and more rational process than it usually is.”
The bias caused much of the media to underestimate Ronald Reagan in 1980 and Donald Trump in 2016. It also helps explain the negative tone running through a lot of the coverage of Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders this year.
Admittedly, Sanders was roughed up by the Times when he stood in Hillary Clinton’s way in 2016. But one would have to look hard to find “negative” Warren coverage there.
This paragraph offered a laugh line:
Centrist bias, as I see it, confuses the idea of centrism (which is very much an ideology) with objectivity and fairness. It’s an understandable confusion, because American politics is dominated by the two major parties, one on the left and one on the right. And the overwhelming majority of journalists at so-called mainstream outlets -- national magazines, newspapers, public radio, the non-Fox television networks -- really are doing their best to treat both parties fairly.
....The skeptical questions posed to the more moderate Democrats are frequently about style or tactics: Are you too old? Too young? Too rich? Too far behind in the polls?
Again, a casual perusal of the paper’s hostile coverage of alleged moderate Biden (before Trump went after Biden’s son Hunter) neutralizes Leonhardt’s argument. He makes an unconvincing stab at portraying himself as moderate, before suggesting the press should go easier on Sanders and Warren.
....Not every policy question posed to Democrats needs to have a conservative assumption, and not every question posed to Republicans needs to have a liberal one. If Warren and Sanders are going to be asked whether their solutions go too far, Joe Biden should be asked whether his solutions are too timid: Mr. Vice President, many economists believe that inequality is bad for an economy, so are you doing enough to attack inequality?
Is obsession with “economic inequality” a prime characteristic of a “centrist”?
The world is more surprising and complicated than centrist bias imagines it to be. Sometimes, people like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren are right. Even when they’re not, they deserve the same skepticism that other politicians do -- no less, no more.
Leonhardt has similarly used a jeremiad by the Washington Post’s Margaret Sullivan against excessive media centrism, but itat least contained this clipped admission: “Liberal bias. Yes, it’s real. Most mainstream journalists do lean left.”
Media Bias Debate Labeling New York Times John F. Harris David Leonhardt Elizabeth Warren Bernie Sanders
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Life 5 December 2019
The spiny pincushion cactus has been found to emit ultrasonic sounds
Jose A. Bernat/Getty Images
Although it has been revealed in recent years that plants are capable of seeing, hearing and smelling, they are still usually thought of as silent. But now, for the first time, they have been recorded making airborne sounds when stressed, which researchers say could open up a new field of precision agriculture where farmers listen for water-starved crops.
Itzhak Khait and his colleagues at Tel Aviv University in Israel found that tomato and tobacco plants made sounds at frequencies humans cannot hear when stressed by a lack of water or when their stem is cut.
Microphones placed 10 centimetres from the plants picked up sounds in the ultrasonic range of 20 to 100 kilohertz, which the team says insects and some mammals would be capable of hearing and responding to from as far as 5 metres away. A moth may decide against laying eggs on a plant that sounds water-stressed, the researchers suggest. Plants could even hear that other plants are short of water and react accordingly, they speculate.
Read more: Root intelligence: Plants can think, feel and learn
“These findings can alter the way we think about the plant kingdom, which has been considered to be almost silent until now,” they write in their study, which has not yet been published in a journal.
Previously, devices have been attached to plants to record the vibrations caused by air bubbles forming and imploding – a process known as cavitation – inside xylem tubes, which are used for water transport. But this new study is the first time that sounds from plants have been measured at a distance.
On average, drought-stressed tomato plants made 35 sounds an hour, while tobacco plants made 11. When plant stems were cut, tomato plants made an average of 25 sounds in the following hour, and tobacco plants 15. Unstressed plants produced fewer than one sound per hour, on average.
It is even possible to distinguish between the sounds to know what the stress is. The researchers trained a machine-learning model to discriminate between the plants’ sounds and the wind, rain and other noises of the greenhouse, correctly identifying in most cases whether the stress was caused by dryness or a cut, based on the sound’s intensity and frequency. Water-hungry tobacco appears to make louder sounds than cut tobacco, for example.
Read more: Plants have evolved forgetfulness to wipe out memory of stress
Although Khait and his colleagues only looked at tomato and tobacco plants, they believe other plants may make sounds when stressed too. In a preliminary study, they also recorded ultrasonic sounds from a spiny pincushion cactus (Mammillaria spinosissima) and the weed henbit dead-nettle (Lamium amplexicaule). Cavitation is a possible explanation for how the plants generate the sounds, they say.
Enabling farmers to listen for water-stressed plants could “open a new direction in the field of precision agriculture”, the researchers suggest. They add that such an ability will be increasingly important as climate change exposes more areas to drought.
“The suggestion that the sounds that drought-stressed plants make could be used in precision agriculture seems feasible if it is not too costly to set up the recording in a field situation,” says Anne Visscher at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, in the UK.
Read more: Trees seen resting branches while ‘asleep’ for the first time
She warns that the results can’t yet be broadened out to other stresses, such as salt or temperature, because these may not lead to sounds. In addition, there have been no experiments to show whether moths or any other animal can hear and respond to the sounds the plants make, so that idea remains speculative for now, she says.
If plants are making sounds when stressed, cavitation is the most likely mechanism, says Edward Farmer at the University of Lausanne, Switzerland. But he is sceptical of the findings, and would like to see more in the way of controls.
Farmer adds that the idea moths might be listening to plants and shunning stressed ones is a “little too speculative”, and there are already plenty of explanations for why insects avoid some plants and not others.
Reference: bioRxiv, DOI: 10.1101/507590
Read more: Wonder what your plants are ‘saying’? Device lets you listen in
Article amended on 16 December 2019
We clarified what Edward Farmer would like to see; and we corrected what happens in cavitation
Magazine issue 3260 , published 14 December 2019
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Nominations Page
Home / Breaking News / Niger Delta / Niger Delta Group warns Nwanyanwu, others over smear campaign against Amaechi
Niger Delta Group warns Nwanyanwu, others over smear campaign against Amaechi
Eric Daminabo 22:00:00 Breaking News, Niger Delta
RE: DAN NWANYANWU EXPOSES AMAECHI OF SPONSORING THE CRISIS IN RIVERS STATE
Our attention has been drawn to an interview granted on
Channels TV's Sunrise Daily show by one Barr Dan Nwanyanwu whose last known activity was selling the Labour Party of Nigeria as its BOT chairman to then ruling PDP in the run-up to the 2015 general elections.
We are forced to react to the fabrications of Mr Nwanyanwu in order to expose his innate nature of acting as a political entrepreneur, making use of diverse platforms to eck a living. Whether in his journey of self-perpetuity for more than a decade as Chairman of Labour party, who turned that party's
original ideals of promoting social democracy to a platform for all manner of characters in exchange for huge financial gains. Or his destructive adventure of dismantling the Advanced Peoples Democratic Alliance (APDA), one of the newly registered political parties where he unfortunately found himself as a BOT member.
It is common knowledge that as soon as the INEC stopped issuing grants to political parties in Nigeria, Mr Nwanyanwu had to reinvent himself inorder to continue carrying the portfolio of an activist politician to increase his market value.
We are not surprised that after his 2015 misadventure of selling off his party to the PDP and refusing to handover the Certificate of Registration (CoR) of the Labour party, Mr Nwanyanwu's latest shopping centre, the Zenith Labour Party needs to be mortgaged in order to make him relevant in the scheme of things in 2019. Nigerians must know that the only sin committed by the Transportation Minister, Rt Hon Chibuike Amaechi against Mr Dan Nwanyanwu was his refusal as DG Buhari re-election campaign to do 'business' with Mr Nwanyanwu in the later's characteristic manner of selling off his party at every national election. This was part of the reasons why then Presidential candidate of the Zenith Labour party, Dr Olusegun Mimiko, withdrew from the 2019 Presidential race having discovered Mr Nwanyanwu's legendary deceit, prebendalism and treachery.
May we also inform Mr Nwanyanwu and his PDP sponsors that no Minister of the Federal Republic can act in the place of the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces as Mr Nwanyanwu wants the public to erroneously believe. Again, let it be on record that the crisis that led to the suspension of the March 9 elections in Rivers state were not and cannot be linked to the Transportation Minister whose only interest is ensuring the people of Rivers state are not denied the opportunity to exercise their fundamental rights to choose their leaders. We challenge Mr Nwanyanwu to mention one incidence that occurred at the Minister's polling unit/ward/LGA on the day of election. The burden of proof rests squarey on Mr Nwanyanwu to tell the world how many persons got killed at the Minister's polling unit/ward/LGA, who killed them, names of deceased and addresses!
The shameless lies, outright fabrications and demonic blackmail on national TV by Mr Nwanyanwu against the Transportation Minister cannot sway the very intelligent people of Rivers state who he (Rt Hon Amaechi) served as Governor for 8yrs with outstanding record of capacity and excellence.
We are aware that the sponsored interviews on radio and television stations against the Transportation Minister is maliciously targeted at reducing his political capital, and, we do know that these latest attempts just as the ones made in times past, shall come to nought.
Finally, we have observed that the latest way to hug national headlines is by disparaging the person and office of the Transportation Minister who has worked so immensely well to reposition our railways and ports which are arteries for the sustenance and growth of our economy. The Niger Delta Democracy Watchdog (NDDW) believe strongly in the famous Mrs Obama quote, "...when they go low, we go high." But, we shall no longer ignore these unprovoked and senseless politically-motivated media attacks.
Comrade Oriks Dandison
(Leader)
Comrade Obukovwo Efe
(Dir of Research/Strategy)
Engr (Mrs) Anietie Comfort
(Spokesperson)
For and onbehalf of Niger Delta Democracy Watchdog (NDDW)
Niger Delta Group warns Nwanyanwu, others over smear campaign against Amaechi Reviewed by Eric Daminabo on 22:00:00 Rating: 5
Eric Daminabo
Breaking News|Niger Delta|
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HP’s EliteBook x360 Now Comes with LTE
By Darshan Patel / Gadgets / No Comments
This month HP is updating some of its Elite series PCs. The highlight of this is a slightly altered version of EliteBook x360. The new model of the EliteBook x360 looks pretty much like the old one. But according to HP, the new model will have a 10 percent smaller overall footprint. The bezels on the sides and the bottom, that are around the display are made thinner. This is seen as a good improvement.
Improvements to x360
But the reduction of the size of bezels is not it. There’s more to this new model. The major improvement here is the addition of LTE. But LTE will be offered as an optional feature. So in order to enjoy the LTE feature, you will have to pay more. But the EliteBook x360 1030 G3 will prove to be one of the high-end and best devices yet that HP will offer with a data connection. It will feature a quad-core Intel Core i7-8650U processor. It will also have up to 16GB of RAM and 1TB of SSD storage. Along with that, it will also feature an Intel UHD 620 graphics card.
Brightest display
HP claims that the new EliteBook x360 1030 G3 will be almost three times brighter than an average Ultrabook. This update will help your laptop in overcoming both glare and sunlight in order to provide you with improved outdoor visibility. This display might be one of the brightest displays in both commercial and consumer markets. The display can reach up to 700 nits of brightness.
With a focus on business users
HP’s Elite series has always focused on business users. But HP’s consumer line and the business line seems to be blurry at times when the company tries to appeal to younger people. Along with the smaller bezels for a compact design and an option for a brighter display, EliteBook x360 1030 G3 also features a CNC unibody chassis.
A day-long battery
The EliteBook x360 1030 G3 features very powerful hardware within and also has day-long battery life. It offers up to 18 hours of battery life. It is just 15.8 mm thin and weighs around 1.25 kgs. The EliteBook x360 1030 G3 is HP’s smallest convertible laptop to date, which focuses on business.
Comes with a smart stylus
The EliteBook x360 1030 G3 features Cat9 LTE networks for super fast connectivity. The device also comes with a very smart stylus accessory. This stylus notifies you when it is out of range and left behind. The stylus will be sold separately. This stylus has got some updates too. It will now feature a higher degree of pressure sensitivity and can be easily charged over USB-C.
Apart from all these interesting updates, it is also getting other very interesting alterations or additions. HP says the screen of the laptop will be covered with an anti-glare screen coating. The webcam of the laptop has been updated to 1080p or 4K touchscreen display options. The EliteBook has now got a magnetic side so that it will clip on and be sturdy. The stylus also attaches to the magnetic side of the laptop.
The laptop has a 360-degree hinge. It allows you to use in notebook, tablet, stand or tent modes. The laptop will be shipped with an optional HP Privacy Camera. This is done to make sure the webcam stays safe from malevolent inspection. This configuration is called the SureView and will cost an additional $50. This feature can be accessed through one of the function keys on the laptop. Once you press it, the sides of the screen will be darkened and it will protect any sensitive information on your display from being seen by others. The laptop’s from HP’s Elite series can combat extreme humidity, extreme temperatures, vibrations and high altitudes.
Sure recover
HP also features a Sure Recover software. This allows you to reimage your screen automatically. It fixes the blue screen without the requirement for a network connection. Also, it comes with 4 speakers, 4 discrete amps, and lower bass. The laptop also features a Full HD webcam and an improved noise cancelling microphone.
Available next month
HP is also updating a few other products from the Elite series. There is also a 15.6-inch laptop called the EliteBook 1050. The EliteBook x360 1030 G3 will be made available from next month at a starting price of $1,449.
Darshan Patel
Darshan Patel is a lead Search Engine Analyst at Nimblechapps – Coolest Mobile App Development Company. He believes in using a variety of strategy to create business’s online presence that delight and deliver.
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Blink-182 announce 2010 European festival appearances
Speculation online also claims band will play Reading And Leeds Festivals too
Paul Stokes
From left to right, drummer Travis Barker, singer and musician Mark Hoppus, and musician Tom DeLonge of the rock band Blink-182 arrive at the Blink-182 tour launch party in Los Angeles on Monday, May 18, 2009. (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg)
Blink-182 have confirmed European dates for next summer.
The reunited trio will play two German events, the Area 4 Festival on August 21 and Highfield Festival the following day (22), according to an official post on Twitter that directed fans to Blink-182’s Pickrset page.
The dates’ proximity to the Reading And Leeds Festivals, which take place the next weekend (August 27-29), has already lead to online speculation that the band will headline that event too, however there has been no comment from the festivals’ organisers.
The festival appearances also raise the possibility of club shows in Europe next year, although nothing has been confirmed yet.
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Clifton school trustees adopt 2016-17 budgets with staff cuts, tax increase
CLIFTON — After turning down a last-minute proposal to save a few positions from being axed, the Board of Education on Monday night voted to adopt a $162.7 million budget for the 2016-17 school year that eliminates 45 district jobs. The staffing...
Clifton school trustees adopt 2016-17 budgets with staff cuts, tax increase CLIFTON — After turning down a last-minute proposal to save a few positions from being axed, the Board of Education on Monday night voted to adopt a $162.7 million budget for the 2016-17 school year that eliminates 45 district jobs. The staffing... Check out this story on northjersey.com: http://northjersy.news/2gKEg87
The Record Published 9:47 p.m. ET May 2, 2016
The Clifton school trustees at the Monday night meeting.(Photo: Mitsu Yasukawa/Staff Photographer)
CLIFTON — After turning down a last-minute proposal to save a few positions from being axed, the Board of Education on Monday night voted to adopt a $162.7 million budget for the 2016-17 school year that eliminates 45 district jobs.
The staffing cuts were fewer than the 49 proposed in the budget that the board had introduced in March, the result of lower health-insurance cost.
The positions cut comprise those of 22 teachers, mostly at the high school level, six librarians, five clerical staffers, five maintenance workers, five guidance counselors, a nurse and an administrator. Retirements will be a component of about half of the eliminated teaching positions, officials said.
The budget calls for a 2-percent increase in most tax-supported spending and requires $83.19 more in taxes from the owner of a home assessed at $177,000, the city average.
Two board members, Rosemary Pino and Arlene Agresti, had championed a proposal to increase taxes by an additional $500,000 or 0.4 percent, but after a heated debate, they found no supporters. Their amended budget plan failed in a 2-to-7 vote.
Pino said the additional money would have restored six positions — those of three teachers, a librarian, a nurse and a guidance counselor — at a cost of an extra $17 a year on the average home.
But several trustees dug their heels in against the extra cost to taxpayers, Jim Daley for one declaring himself a “purist” who couldn’t support a tax increase beyond 2 percent. He also said saving just six positions seemed arbitrary, asking “What, is six the magic number?”
Trustee Judy Bassford said she would support only a budget that would spare all 49 of the so-called “Clifton 49ers.” She said she was told by the district in past years that the jobs all were essential and asked “Why are they now not essential?”
Upon a motion from Bassford a few weeks ago, the board had petitioned the state education commissioner to allow the district to use money dedicated to capital projects to stave off layoffs this year. But as of Monday, the state had not responded; a spokesman said a decision was expected “soon, perhaps in the next day or so.”
The budget includes $3.5 million in capital projects, including window replacements at Schools 14 and 16, district-wide security upgrades and an estimated $2 million for a new artificial-turf high school practice field.
The 45 jobs were cut to offset a steep increase in health-insurance costs, 2.5 percent contractual salary increases and a rise in Clifton student enrollment at the Passaic County Technical Institute. Business Administrator Karen Perkins said medical costs would go up 13 percent in the next year and prescription drug coverage would rise by 8.6 percent. And an additional 70 students were expected to attend the county vocational school, which the district must pay an extra $9,900 per student for enrollment compared to the in-district costs, Daley said.
Earlier in the board’s meeting on Monday, members of the City Council gave their annual review of the district’s budget, in which Mayor James Anzaldi implored a united board to meet with Clifton’s delegation of state legislators in search of a funding solution. Maybe, he said, they could come up with a plan to increase state aid or reform the funding formula for the county vocational school.
When Daley said he had already sought the legislators’ help, the mayor interjected that “I think the ‘I’ needs to be ‘we.’ I don’t think I can say that enough to you.”
Email: greenj@northjersey.com
Read or Share this story: http://northjersy.news/2gKEg87
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Britain's Got Talent finalist Daliso Chaponda brings his Blah Blah Blacklist tour to Nottingham this week - here's what he had to say
Blah Blah Blacklist was inspired by Billy Cosby and his own father
Comedian and Britain's Got Talent star Daliso Chaponda
Britain's Got Talent finalist Daliso Chaponda is bringing his latest tour, Blah Blah Blacklist, to Nottingham Playhouse. Helen O'Brien finds out more
(Image: Steve Ullathorne)
Beginning your career in Canada, how difficult was it finding your feet within the UK’s comedy scene when you moved over?
I had a promising start and then nothing for years. When I arrived from Canada there was a little buzz about me; I got nominated for Northwest Comedian of the Year and was a finalist in Leicester Mercury Comedian of the year. I thought 'I'm going to be a big star now' and then nothing. For the next 10 years I was not able to do anything more than comedy clubs and pubs, so I had given up on any big fame ideas. The I did Britain's Got Talent and didn't expect to do so well. I didn't expect the boost it has been to my career.
At what point during your computer programming studies did you decide to seriously pursue a career in comedy? Was there a stand out moment?
The moment I realise all I wanted to do now was comedy was probably my first gig. I'd always written (routines) and I'd also performed at poetry open mics as well as rap nights etc, but stand up comedy was so immediate and so deliciously unpredictable. The moment I realised it could be a career was a few years later when I was selected to be part of the ‘Just For Laughs’ festival when Jerry Seinfeld and Joan Rivers were there. It made me realise it was possible.
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With your brother being a doctor, how did your parents compare your careers before your success? Has their opinion changed since the success?
At first my family was terrified I would be a total failure and staged the same kind of intervention they would have if they thought I was an alcoholic. Family friends all warned me I was throwing my life away. My brother being a doctor made it worse. Another brother is an economist and the next a programmer. That said, they were always proud even when they thought I was crazy. Now, my father in particular uses me to brag.
What influenced your new stand-up tour ‘Blah Blah Blacklist’?
Bill Cosby being revealed as a rapist was probably the trigger that got me writing about how it feels when we lose our heroes. Then, as I was midway through writing a show about disgraced, blacklisted celebrities, my father was arrested and put on trial. That changed the path of the show and made it a much more personal show.
Daliso Chaponda is at Nottingham Playhouse on Thursday, January 16 at 7.30pm. Tickets are £16.50 from the box office, call 0115 941 9419.
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Home › Research▻People▻HR Excellence in Research
About Researcher Profiles
In October 2013 NUI Galway was awarded the HR Excellence in Research Logo by the European Commission in recognition of our commitment in implementing the principles of European Charter & Code for Researchers. The Charter and Code includes 40 principles and requirements which specifies the roles, responsibilities and entitlements of researchers as well as of employers and/or funders of researchers. NUI Galway had originally committed to the Charter and Code in 2006 prior to the introduction of the HR Excellence in Research Award (HRS4R).
Originally there were 5 stages to the HRS4R and our submissions and award of 2013 was considered stage 2 and our renewal of award in 2015 was stage 4.
All our application details for 2013 stage 2 is contained in our full NUI Galway HRS4R - Gap Analysis and our NUI Galway HRS4R - Strategy Action Plan was completed identifying a number of key areas for change and further development. The progress of the Action Plan was monitored on an on-going basis and overseen by the Research Committee and an internal review was conducted in 2015 in preparation for renewal of award.
Following submission of revised and updated Gap Analysis and Strategy and Action Plan in October 2015 NUI Galway successfully achieved stage 4 of the process and retained the award with feedback from EU assessors' confirming; “thanks to the very good, exhaustive and robust information provided, assessors have come up to the conclusion that NUI Galway is clearly committed towards the full achievement of the HRS4R process.”
Change to HRS4R – Report of the expert group on ‘SHAPING THE FUTURE OF THE HUMAN RESOURCES STRATEGY FOR RESEARCHERS – HRS4R.
This report changed the previous 5 stage process of the HRS4R to three phases.
Currently, NUI Galway has applied for our external review by the EU assessment team which is due in late 2019/early 2020.
In preparation for the external review, NUI Galway reviewed progress made on the previous submission of 2013 and 2015 and submitted an application for stage 5 – external review in 2019. HRS4R Strategy and Action Plan 2019-2022.
Information on the HRS4R process are available via Euraxess
Or by contacting either Sinéad Beacom, Head of Researcher Development Centre, NUI Galway (sinead.beacom@nuigalway.ie) or Ann Kyne, HR Manager – Research, NUI Galway (ann.kyne@nuigalway.ie)
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How Bottled Water Became a Celebrity Status Symbol
Katherine Gillespie
Mary J. Blige's backstage rider from 2006, archived for posterity online, makes a number of super specific stipulations. She wants a brand new toilet seat in every bathroom, asks that staff please observe the "Do Not Disturb" sign on her door, and requires temperatures be set to 70 degrees at all times. She'd also like 10 waters, and they "absolutely, positively must be FIJI."
FIJI only! But of course. Back then no diva would demand a plastic bottle decorated with anything other than a pink hibiscus flower. FIJI was the chic celebrity water of choice, and it retains at least novelty luxe status today — literally meme-ing its way into the 2019 Golden Globes, a marketing exercise transparent as the liquid contained within that instantly recognizable rectangular bottle. Awards shows are fast losing relevance, and perhaps FIJI is too, but its 2000s legacy is assured: bottled water will forever more be synonymous with celebrity status. Which brand are you?
Real bottled waterheads will say that the luxury water trend can actually be traced across continents to southern France. Évian, with that old world European charm — a name that demands exaggeratedly accented pronunciation, preferably when ordering a glass of it from a waiter or some other form of help, an evocative narrative about the magical mineral-infused healing powers of alpine springs — is the classy counterpoint to FIJI's spray-tanned tropical tackiness. A 2005 Washington Post report describes how the publicist Jonathan Cheban made Évian happen by strategically placing it on tables at an Oscars (not Globes) after party; soon enough Chris Noth and Paris Hilton and Courteney Cox were taking swigs in front of the cameras. Rumors flew that Cameron Diaz refused to wash her face with anything else.
Cheban, who is now better known for his recurring role on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, was something of an accidental water marketing pioneer. As an Évian publicist his technique was to link its products directly with A-listers, not on billboards or TV commercials but simply in candid everyday life. No celebrity, when asked in an interview about their skincare routine, hasn't rhapsodized about drinking eight glasses of water per day. Cheban really was just taking the next logical step. Whether thirsty celebs were professionally photographed at awards shows or papped walking their dogs in Los Angeles, the implication was that the bottle had been picked up by choice, not sponsorship deal. Today every single influencer is doing the same damn thing. As the Post wryly notes, "It's tempting to call this advertising that money can't buy, but since Evian was paying Cheban at the time, that's not quite true."
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The 2000s rise of brands like Évian and FIJI coincided with a general trend away from soda and towards sugar-free drinking alternatives among the general, non-celebrity population. The United States currently boasts the biggest consumer market for bottled water in the world, and while our bestsellers are still generic brands rather than prestige ones, a successful luxury water is worth billions of annual revenue from easily fooled middle class consumers. Given drinkable H20 is available for free from most faucets, the glitzy packaging and celebrity endorsements are perhaps necessary distractions: VOSS has a stupid cylindrical tube, Blk is charcoal-colored instead of clear. In the early 2010s, perhaps inspired by Madonna's well-documented love of Kabbalah water, many prestige brands decided to go beyond aesthetics and claim their products provided additional health benefits to what came out of the tap.
Enter a titan of the high-end water wars: Glaceau Smart Water, AKA Jennifer Aniston's favorite way to hydrate.
Smart Water, as the name implies, is not like the other girls. She's distilled from British springs — as Évian proves, European water always has more health cred — and contains added electrolytes. She's pH neutral, for extra purity. And she's owned by Coca-Cola, which has the money to sign off on big time celebrity branding deals. Aniston has been working with Smart Water for more than a decade, and her campaigns tend to include cleverly casual-seeming imagery of her holding bottles of it during an off-duty red carpet moment, or while hiking.
@smartwater on Instagram: “nothing like an afternoon with 🐶 and pure 💧.”
Coca-Cola followed up the massive success of Smart Water with a colorful futuristic flavored version, Vitamin Water. Essentially a well re-branded soft drink, it was Mischa Barton's accessory bottle of choice in the mid-2010s. Other brands, like CORE and Pepsi's LIFEWATR, have tried to cash in on the same electrolyte pseudoscience. (A little-acknowledged fact: most tap water contains electrolytes anyway).
Related | 10 Celebrities Who Ruled Instagram in 2018
Smart Water still sells in vast, mind-boggling quantities, but in 2019 its branding feels almost as dated as FIJI's. Celebrity-adjacent waters have had to change with the times, and social media stars have provided smaller non-Coca-Cola-owned competitors with the means to gain an edge. Essentia, a decades-old indie water company from Washington state favored by Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian since 2015, can thank KUWTK endorsement for recent hype around alkaline H20 which, for the record, has only dubious health benefits.
Luxury water truly is one of the most obvious cons of all time — pour a glass and you can see right through it. In the context of Flynt, where cheap bottles of water are a lifeline, its existence is downright diabolical. But if sales figures are anything to go by, many of us are more than willing to destroy the environment for the sake of status. The FIJI water girl who generated $12 million in brand impressions over a single night? So much more than just a meme.
Photos via Getty
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© 2023 By Henry Cooper. Proudly created with Wix.com
Carlo Landucci is born in 1963 at Castiglion Fiorentino (AR). As impassioned biker has participated to important national and international competitions of enduro and motocross, moments in which he experiments his first photographic experiences.
The real activity of press-photographer starts subsequently with the trips in Africa side of his friend pilots Fabrizio Meoni in the glorious years of the Paris-Dakar. Carlo immediately falls in love with the African Continent. The great spaces, the silences, the wild nature, but especially the faces of children, conquer him to the point that all his efforts to come will be dedicated to the support of this land and it's people. Meanwile his job of press-photographer is tightly tied up to Africa. Between the photographic exhibitions and publications relating we remember Maskhara - Quattro passi nel cuore dell'Africa (2004), Giocattoli ed oggetti curiosi dal mondo (2006), L'albero Mormorante - Costumi e religioni (2009), La sfida di una vita- in collaboration with the potter Matteo Capitini.
Occhi della speranza (2012). Il canto (2015).
In these years Carlo has never abandoned his contacts with the world of the sport, he has been official photographer of the first three editions of the Merzuoga Rally, an international competition that takes place in Morocco and involves pilots of all Europe, and he has collaborated with the historical brand MV Agusta following the Italian championship SBK. The deep contact with the African reality has pushed Carlo to found in 2002 "Gli occhi della speranza", an association ONLUS born thanks to the power of a dream shared by a group of friends, that today work mainly in Zambia and Sierra Leone.
CARLOLANDUCCI
PATRIZIASKAFGALLERY
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Rating & Ranking Project Methodology How to Blog Italiano
Rating & Ranking Project Methodology How to Blog › Italiano
Below is the information acquired on ACEGASAPSAMGA S.P.A., which is not yet included in our research perimeter.
To request an evaluation of this company and its inclusion in the OpenCorporation Ranking or if you have additional, different and more updated data than what is published in this OpenCorporation company card, please write to info@opencorporation.org so that our team may take it in account.
Last update 13 September 2019
Description of economic activities
Water collection, treatment and supply (NACE2 3600)
The company, formerly known as Acqua Elettricita Gas E Servizi S.p.A., is engaged in complete water and wastewater cycle management; production, transport, handling, distribution and sale of gas; and the operation of building heating plants and supplying of heat and fuel. It was established in 1864 with the creation of the main public service municipal company in the town of Trieste (illuminating gas). The registered business office of the company is located in Trieste, Italy.The company operates through six divisions: water cycle, electrical energy, gas, environment, management of technical plants, and management of services.In the water cycle division, the company manages an integrated water cycle, which includes: drinking water catchments, transport, treatment, adduction and distribution; waste water collection, removal and purification; construction, management and maintenance of networks and plants; and management of public fountains and drinking fountains.The company's gas distribution segment includes the activities of operation and maintenance, with a constant research for improvement and service optimization. In this context, an important role is played by plant engineering, through the planning and realization of several infrastructures.The company realizes and manages thousands of civil and industrial plants for public establishments and private citizens: civil and industrial electrical plants; heating and air-conditioning systems; technological plants; automation and remote control systems; energy optimization systems; and video control systems.The electricity department distributed electrical power across the whole territory of the Municipality of Trieste for a total amount of 762.96 GWh, divided as follows: 553.3 GWh transported and sold to captive customers; and 209.6 GWh transported to suitable network customers.The company manages public lighting service for the municipalities of Trieste (19,610 light points), Padua (28,237 light points), Muggia (1,655 light points) and Duino-Aurisina (1,904 light points).The company disposes of reutilizes and recycles the waste produced in the municipalities of Trieste, Muggia and Duino Aurisina, corresponding to about 250,000 inhabitants. The total area includes the whole municipal territory, excluding the harbour and part of the industrial zone (EZIT).The company is active and operational in Italy.
Company type: Corporate
Parent company: N/A
Chief Executive Officer (CEO): Mr Tomaso Tommasi Di Vignano
CEO Total remuneration: N/A
Website: www.aps-online.it
Revenue *
EBIT *
EBITDA *
* numbers are in millions
RepRisk Indicator (last month)*: N/A
Social dialog
Transnational Corporate Agreement (TCA): N/A
Global Framework Agreement (GFA): N/A
Societas Europaea (SE): N/A
Bangladesh Accord: N/A
EWC*: N/A
Global Compact: N/A
CDP (Carbon Disclosure Project): N/A
Modern Slavery Statement: N/A
Transparency Index: N/A
SA8000 Social Accountability:
Integrated report: N/A
ISO26000: N/A
OECD Guidelines:
Social Development Goals (SDGs): N/A
Global Reporting Initiative certification*
Global Reporting Initiative standards: N/A
Global Reporting Initiative GRI G4: N/A
Other company declarations
Corporate Social Responsability:
Accessibility: N/A
Training policy: N/A
Policy to protect the right to health and safety in the workplaces where the company operates: N/A
Policy to protect the right to health and safety in the workplaces in the supply chain: N/A
Diversity policy: N/A
Universal declarations
Declarations and treaties recognised by the country where the company has its registered office
Universal Declaration of Human Rights:
European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR):
Charter of Fundamental Rights of CDFL Workers (Strasbourg Charter 1989):
Charter of Fundamental Rights of the European Union EU CFR (Nice Charter 2000):
Treaty on the Functioning of the European Union TFEU:
Registered office in an OECD country:
ILO C029 - Forced Labour Convention, 1930 (No. 29):
ILO C087 - Freedom of Association and Protection of the Right to Organise Convention, 1948 (No. 87):
ILO C098 - Right to Organise and Collective Bargaining Convention, 1949 (No. 98):
ILO C100 - Equal Remuneration Convention, 1951 (No. 100):
ILO C105 - Abolition of Forced Labour Convention, 1957 (No. 105):
ILO C111 - Discrimination (Employment and Occupation) Convention, 1958 (No. 111):
ILO C138 - Minimum Age Convention, 1973 (No. 138):
ILO C182 - Worst Forms of Child Labour Convention, 1999 (No. 182):
Directives applied in the company offices in EU 27
D. 80/987/EEC:
D. 98/59/EC:
D. 2000/43/EC:
Council D. 2001/86/EC:
EP and Council D. 2005/56/EC:
D. 2011/35/EU:
Presence in main rankings
Global 100 Most Sustainable Corporations: N/A
Global CSR Rep Trak 100: N/A
BrandZ Top 100 Most Valuable US Brands: N/A
The Worlds Best Multinational Workplaces: N/A
The Gartner Supply Chain Top 25: N/A
The Worlds Most Innovative Companies: N/A
The Diversity Inc Top 50 Companies: N/A
Best Global Websites: N/A
Green Ranking Global Top 500: N/A
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https://www.ourmidland.com/news/world/article/UN-body-welcomes-milestone-in-Qatar-labor-14979725.php
UN body welcomes 'milestone' in Qatar labor reforms
Joseph Krauss, Associated Press
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Qatar abolished exit visa requirements for virtually all migrant workers on Thursday in a move the U.N. labor organization said was a “milestone” in reform efforts ahead of the 2022 FIFA World Cup.
The ministerial decree allows nearly all migrant workers in Qatar to leave the country without first obtaining permission from their employers. The exit visas were part of the “kafala” system, which critics say restricts workers' rights and leads to abuses.
However, Human Rights Watch said the latest reforms are “disappointing” and leave much of the “kafala” system intact.
Qatar changed its labor laws in October 2018 to remove the need for most private sector workers to obtain exit permits. The latest legislation expands those rights to domestic workers and those working in the public sector, the oil and gas industry, those employed at sea and those working in agriculture.
A government statement said the ministerial decree is “another important step taken by the Government of Qatar to create a modern labour system that strengthens Qatar’s employment laws and protects the rights of all expatriate workers.”
It said the decree would not apply to members of the armed forces, and that companies could designate 5% of their workforce which must still seek prior approval to leave, due to their importance in the running of the firm. It said domestic workers “should” notify their employers 72 hours before departure.
The International Labor Organization welcomed the changes.
“The ILO warmly welcomes these changes, which will benefit many migrant workers in Qatar," said Houtan Homayounpour, the the head of the U.N. labor body's office working with Qatar. "The removal of exit permits is an important milestone in the government’s labour reform agenda.”
Rights groups have long accused Qatar and other oil-rich Gulf nations — which rely heavily on migrant workers — of labor abuses. Qatar's hosting of soccer's world tournament in 2022 has shined a light on its practices and appears to have encouraged reforms.
Human Rights Watch said the latest reforms do not go far enough, and that Qatar has also been slow to introduce other reforms, such as employer consent to change jobs and a non-discriminatory permanent minimum wage.
"Even if the Qatari government introduced these promised reforms fully, it would still not mean an end to the exploitative kafala system," said Hiba Zayadin, a Human Rights Watch researcher.
She said workers are still tied to their employers in terms of their legal status in the country and can still face arrest and deportation if they leave their employer without permission.
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Closing The Confidence Gap With Sheldon Kerr
Author: Hilary Oliver
Chasing first descents in Alaska this spring, mountain guide Sheldon Kerr took a big step toward closing the confidence gap in ski mountaineering. Not familiar with the “confidence gap?” Google it, or pick up Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In—researchers are exposing women’s general lack of confidence compared to men, and how it affects our careers—and progress in outdoor sports, like climbing and skiing. The good news, researchers say, is there are things you can do to boost your confidence—and Sheldon’s putting it all into practice, with mega results in the mountains.
Sheldon put her new methods to the test on a recent ski mountaineering trip to the Barnard Glacier, in Alaska’s Wrangell-St. Elias Range with her friend Lindsay Mann. “We were just going for it,” she said. “We basically got to ski first descents every day from base camp.”
She’s been consciously addressing her mountaineering confidence over the past year, with a variety of different approaches. “All day, every for the last six months, it’s all I’ve been thinking about,” she says. “These recurring themes, from the book Women Don’t Ask, or the Atlantic confidence gap article, or Lean In. To me, they have everything to do with women in high-risk sports. I feel this drive now to go for it in a way that I didn’t before.”
Here are Sheldon’s five research-backed confidence-bumping techniques for the mountains, or the boardroom:
Believe in the skills you’ve built. In the committing moment, remember all the practice you’ve put in—and all the preparation you’ve done to help you succeed.
“I mentally remind myself that I’ve chosen this objective because I’ve had these specific experiences which have prepared me for this 55-degree icy ski line,” she says.
Practice your power stance. “In order to lower cortisol levels—or stress hormones—and raise testosterone—the confidence hormone—in your body, one of the things you can do is stand with an open posture, like a Wonder Woman pose, and just breathe for two minutes,” Sheldon explains. She and Lindsay practiced their power poses during their Alaska trip. “When we got to the top of these routes, even though we were scared and shaking, we would just stand in these Wonder Woman poses for two minutes and breathe, and chemically, it just flooded our bodies with confidence, and then all of a sudden, we were willing to charge the stuff.” Find out more about power poses here [http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are].
Fake it till you make it. Going forward feeling confident, even if you’re not 100 percent sure of the outcome, will help you achieve a positive outcome anyway. “When you’re not confident on a ski line, the way that manifests physically is you tend to bring your hips back, which then makes you more likely to make a mistake, to fall, to not turn well. It’s bad skiing posture,” Sheldon says. “And this is true in so many sports: Your confidence level directly affects your body posture, and that posture directly affects your ability level.”
Improve your self talk. “When you’re scared or you’re in over your head, talk to yourself the way you’d want a partner to talk to you, rather than talking to yourself with your mean inner voice,” Sheldon suggests. “That takes a lot of training, but it’s so powerful.” It may take a while to change your inner mental monologue, she says, but beginning with what you say out loud is a good start that will eventually internalize.
Embrace aging. With age comes experience, and with experience, confidence. “When I started guiding 10 years ago, I was always the only girl, always the youngest, always the least experienced, always the least fit,” she says “People fear aging, and I’m like, What’s wrong with you? Every year past 25 has been 10 times better than the year before. And that’s helped my guiding tremendously.”
Hilary Oliver
Hilary Oliver is a freelance writer and creator of TheGription.com. She loves climbing, biking and writing about climbing and biking. Her work has appeared on Adventure Journal, The Dirtbag Diaries, Freehub Magazine, Women’s Adventure, The Clymb, Women’s Movement and several other publications and web sites. If she’s not on the trail or up a rock, you can probably find her typing away on her laptop, hopefully within close proximity to strong coffee and hot breakfast burritos.
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Occupy a Job on Wall Street
The Pelican
10 5 W
Non-#MeToo
Paddy Nailz
Worst Kept Secrets
Same Day, Same Way
Up to my Ass in Alligators
The Red Rope
My Inner Commie
Alturism is selfish
Dumbed-down Billions
Eddie the Fixer
The robots are coming
GQ's Wingman of the Year
So, you're going to be fired
Season 2 Preview
Suicide Shift
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Gilt by association
More Recent Episodes
Note these are scripts for the Podcast and are not meant to be a final product so please excuse any typos etc
Episode 1: The Pelican
It’s August, 2002.
To set your mindframe, here’s a little context:
Tom Brady won his first Super Bowl.
Taylor Swift sang the National Anthem in front of the Philly’s.
George W Bush declared Iraq, Iran and North Korea compose an “axis of evil”.
Halle Berry became the first black woman to win an Oscar for best actress.
Michael Jackson hung his son Prince over a hotel balcony.
A Colorado manufacturer acquired the design for Crocs from Canada.
Smoking was banned in NYC bars.
But what was really interesting to me? Suddenly there’s a rumor sweeping the trading desks on Wall Street. There’s real money behind it. Traders are hitting up every source they have. The group chats of the time are offering increasing amounts of money for any proof. More specifically, buyside desks are offering million-share orders to get their hands on the evidence.
And remember, this is back when the standard commission rate for trading was 6 cents per share. So if you traded a million-share block, $60k was paid to the bank and a trader would take home around $15,000 of that, on a bad day.
Sure, eventually the Paris Hilton porn video went public… but we had been sitting around at work watching it for weeks.
The wonders of the free market.
But here’s where we shift gears, because this is very different kind of blow job story.
In 2002 I worked for a single-digit billion-dollar hedge fund. A member of what we called the “three comma club”.
I’m meeting one of my sales traders at a fancy restaurant.
Weird as this sounds, even though you were the client, your job on a hedge fund trading desk was more like being a clerk, while the person on the other side of the phone made 10 or 20 times what you did.
So this broker from Herzog and I were eating and drinking at the Four Seasons and I look up and there’s this hot girl from TV at the top of the stairs. She’s joined by 3 or 4 of her friends.
And they’re hot as well.
They sort of pause for effect and look down on the dining room, knowing all eyes are on them because not only are they smokes but their friend, let’s call her Mary, is on television every morning.
No sooner than I look back down to grab my beer, one of Mary’s friends falls off the stairs and has a full-on coke fit. Or maybe an epileptic one, but the effect is much the same. There's screaming and all sorts of chaos and confusion until an ambulance comes. We continue drinking throughout, bemused but completely uninvolved. The rest of the night is unremarkable and the broker and I go our separate ways.
The next morning, I go into work and tell the story. No one believes me but then Mary turns up early as usual on television... and no amount of makeup can make her look like she hasn’t been hit by a freight train. Her mascara is blotched, her hair is all stuck up in the back, her eyes are still as big as saucers.
So my head trader, who always says there’s no situation that can’t be made worse, says - “get me Bear Sterns on the phone”
A senior trader calls up a desk analyst there, puts our guy on the phone, and the head trader says he knows the Bear analyst will be speaking on television at 10am and he’ll need to say the word “Pelican” three times to Mary if he still wants to do business with our firm.
The analyst is clearly uncomfortable and they go back and forth in low tones for a few seconds. Quickly out of patience my head trader states: “Look just do this and a river of commissions are coming your way”. Then he slams down the phone with a wry little grin.
Everyone else at our firm, even the assistants, get on their phones and spread the word you need to be watching at 10am in anticipation of what would transpire. Remember back then there was no electronic trading or quants in the market, so literally all of Wall Street stops trading to watch this. To this day I remember the New York Stock Exchange floor as being eerily quiet as the minutes tick down.
The analyst comes on TV and Mary, still looking like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet, asks him what he thinks of the market.
Remember, it’s August 2002 - the Nasdaq is down 80% from its peak. Enron has just been found guilty of obstructing justice and this is back when people thought that was a bad thing. Worldcom recently became the largest accounting fraud in American history. We’re in a recession. Unemployment is at an 8-year high. People are scared.
But the analyst sets his shoulders, looks into the camera, and replies,
“We think the Nasdaq is forming a Pelican-formation”
She’s like, “What?”
“Pelican. A Pelican formation. It’s a technical buy signal. Investors need to swoop down and gobble up stock for a U-shaped recovery here.”
And he’s done it! Turns out the whole reason for the gag, and trading desks all over New York are laughing themselves silly - is that they call Mary “The Pelican”... because she can take a full cock and balls in her mouth.
Episode 2: 10-5-W
There’s a scene in the book Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis where he is recalling where he was when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. Everyone is standing around in shock and the phone rings.
He picks up the phone and it’s one of his brokers. The guy goes,
“Hey, you know what NASA stands for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.” and just hangs up.
Think about that for a minute.
What this should tell you is bond traders are 10/10 disagreeable people. I’m about to describe to you how disagreeable they can get.
It’s 2001, just 2 months after 9/11 and there’s still smoke rising from downtown. But it’s New York on a Thursday, so I’m at a client dinner with a brokerage firm called DLJ. Before I tell you this, you need to remember that, even after that bunch of Middle Eastern fanatics attacked us, no one in America really knows anything about Islam.
Months later it’s reported that George W. Bush expressed surprise when told there are two types of Muslims in Iraq. Now, if I was president I would’ve made it my business to know such a thing, but I’d bet 9/10 of people in the country had no idea either.
Anyway, I sit down with these bond sales traders, four of whom I’ve never seen before in my life. And they start telling Muslim jokes.
There's five guys and they tell five jokes. Which one of these five is the least funny? Well, you let me know…
So President Bush and Dick Cheney are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?' The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.' So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?' Bush says, 'We're planning WW 3.' The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?' Cheney says, 'Well, we're going to get a million Muslims killed and one blonde with big tits.' The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?' Cheney turns to Bush and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a shit about a million Muslims.
On to the next bond salesman:
This guy was walking through a street in New York and saw there was an "Islamic Bookstore". He wonders exactly what was in a store like that, so he goes in. As he wanders around a clerk stops him and asks if he could help. The guy goes, "Do you have a copy of George Bush’s book on his immigration policy towards conservative Muslims?" The clerk said, "Fuck off! Get out and stay out!" The guy goes, "That's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
The next guy:
A nun is sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating fresh shrimp. Everytime he ate one, he looks her in the eye and then spits the tail in her direction. Eventually, she had enough and pulled the emergency cord. The Muslim looked at her and said, "You'll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid Catholic bitch." She laughs and says, "When I cry out rape and they smell your fingers, you'll get 10 years, you towel-headed camel-fucker."
Boom, next one:
Mohammed goes into his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?" asked the teacher. “Mohammed," he replies. "You're in America now," says the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin." Mohammed goes home and his mother asks, "How was your day, Mohammed?" “My name is not Mohammed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin." he says. "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother starts to beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him all over again. Later his uncle comes by and kicks his ass as well. The next day Mohammed goes back to school. The teacher sees all these bruises and asks. "What happened to you, Kevin?". Kevin says, "Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by a bunch of fucking Arabs".
Last guy:
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, “Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I’m only 18 and spent all my time reading the Koran, I don’t know how to be with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, can I have 72 whores?” Allah regarded him for a moment, then replies, “Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re actually quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you’ll be on constant, exhausting duty.” The bomber replies, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?” Allah goes, “Who said they were women?”
So it’s my turn. I’m the client so I may appear quietly confident, but I’m also fairly new to the business and it’s not clear how to proceed. They’ve clearly used up all the jokes about Islam, so I tell the only religious joke I know.
“Two friends, a Catholic priest and a rabbi, are walking along a street. The priest looks up and there’s a school. All these kids are running out of the school. The priest elbows the Rabbi and says, “we should go fuck those kids”. Because he’s a degenerate catholic priest right? And the Rabbi says in response, “out of what?”
I tell one Jewish joke and all hell breaks loose.
“this is the largest Jewish city in the world”. “You can’t say that sort of stuff”. “You’re anti-Semite”.
All the usual horseshit. And this coming from a bunch of Irish guys from Long Island to boot.
But here’s the rub; I’m not taking any shit from these guys. And this is why,
I know, for a fact, that their firm, DLJ, employs the most anti-Semitic people on the planet. Within a couple of years, most of them work for a Swiss bank for Christ's sake. These guys will fit right in there banking former Nazi gold.
And if that isn’t enough, here is how I specifically know this. At DLJ, when an order comes into a trading desk, the bank supposedly protects client identities with account numbers and letters. That way you don’t know for instance that Soros or another big client is buying Cisco bonds right?
Sure.... but...
They refer to their biggest Jewish clients as “10 5 W’s”
That’s the 10th letter in the alphabet, the fifth letter in the alphabet, and the letter “W”
J.E.W.
You’re on the DLJ trading desk and you hear that client 10-5-W… the biggest whale on the Street!... is buying something? Well, you go buy some of that for yourself don’t you? And you get on the phone and tell your non-105W clients to buy some as well. Quickly.
So here’s me, describing larceny and antisemitism on a grand scale to the actual people perpetrating it, but the closest douchebag doesn’t miss a beat. He just laughs and says,
“Yeah, we also call them 5 39’s.”
If you need some help with that take a look at the keypad on your telephone.
Episode 3: The non-#MeToo moment.
Why has there been no MeToo movement on Wall Street?
It’s an interesting question. After all, the guy/girl ratio on Wall Street is about as skewed towards men as the oil rig space. We’re not exactly talking about sensitive new age guys either for that matter. My suspicion is it’s a combination of the following two factors.
Number one, there’s just so much money floating around the business that the attitude is “we’ll buy you and make you go away”. Worked for Trump right? He got to be president!
The second reason is because many of the women who work on Wall Street are like my friend Laura. She deserves her own podcast series, but a quick digression. Laura’s an equity sales trader. It’s 2004.
Remember 2004? Let me jog your memory,
* Saddam Hussein was captured
* "The Apprentice,” debuted.
*191 innocent people were killed in the Madrid train bombings
* Janet Jackson shows her boob off during the Super Bowl
* Abu Ghraib abuse pictures leak to the media
* Facebook launches, for Harvard students only
* Massachusetts became the first state to legalize gay marriage but eleven other states reject gay marriage in referendums
* Tsunamis kill tens of thousands of people in Asia
* The US Marines assaulted Fallujah
* The last episode of the show Friends aired
So Laura and I are at a local midtown bar called SNAFU. It was Situation Normal All Fucked Up. These three traders from a big New Jersey mutual fund walk in, no doubt after a long dinner of getting their ass kissed by some some 2nd tier New York banker who secretly detests them. Long-only funds are ascendant right now and hedge funds are the redheaded stepchild of the stock market. Anyway, these guys are as cocky as you can imagine. And within 30 seconds one of them drops a C-Bomb right in front of Laura.
Laura’s almost six foot and hot, but she’s all Philadelphia… hard as nails and people misjudge her all the time. She lines up on the guy, and says “what did you just say?”
The trader just looks her in the eye and replies, “Cunt”.
Laura headbutts him right above the nose and drops him to a knee. Then for good measure she headbutts the junior trader standing next to him who hadn’t even said anything since entering the bar. I walk into the bathroom 5 minutes later and the first trader is looking at himself in the mirror and holding his forehead together with wads of bloody tissues and the guy goes,
“I just got headbutted by a beer-drinking Irish broad from Philly. I think I’m in love”
So 15 minutes later it seems like we’re all friends again, standing around at the bar in SNAFU. But Laura’s not done with this guy.
It’s almost midnight, so she suggests we go to a strip club. Everyone’s terrified of her now of course, but is stoked with this seeming change into a more conventional broker attitude. We walk in there, start throwing money around and in no time everyone including Laura has two strippers sitting on their laps. Laura looks over at the guy she dropped earlier in the night and says,
“So, you having a good night Sparky?”
He nods his head, suddenly wary at her tone.
But it’s too late and she leans over, grabs him by the collar, puts a finger inside his shirt and rips it downwards, taking every button off it and sending them flying all over the strip club.
It takes a minute to dawn on him, but then he realizes he has to go home to his wife with a bleeding forehead, covered in glitter, with no shirt, and smelling smelling like a stripper.
We never see that guy again.
But like I said, I digress. This podcast is actually about the first reason #metoo hasn’t hit Wall Street. The “we’ll buy you and make you go away” reason.
We’re still in 2004, I’m dating an assistant trader from a Fortune 500 bank. She’s from Boston and the Red Sox just won their first title in 86 years. You can picture her - in her mid-twenties and loves everything besides rules.
I’m one of their clients and she arranges a dinner with me and four or five sales traders from the bank, as well as one of their managing partners. This guy is what Wall Street refers to as a “BSD”, a Big Swinging Dick. He’s a senior guy. His name’s on the door.
Now no one knows I’m dating the junior trader right? The dinner is uneventful, but we’re sneaking each other little smiles and giving up surreptitious glances.
If this story didn’t end in tears, it’d be cute.
So dinner comes to a close, we’re waiting on what must be a $10,000 check, and the “Big Swinging Dick with His Name on the Door” says,
“We’re going to the Lido Room”
All of a sudden, you can physically feel the anticipation build at the table, a couple of the guys are even doing fist bumps, but my girlfriend and I are confused as to why. It’s 11pm, and sure, the stock market is rallying, the city is full of opportunity and excitement… but what is it that can get these guys so worked up?
The BSD leads us out the door and straight up the stairs past two thugs to what I always assumed was a members room or a nightclub. We walk into a beautifully decorated room and there are women everywhere. I mean there’s 200 people in this bar and 95% of them are stunning, beautiful women. It’s one of those nights where you walk into a club, the wind is at your back, and anything seems possible.
But I’m with my girlfriend right? So we find a place in the corner and I head to the bar to get us a drink. On the way there girls are looking me in the eye, touching my arm… I get to the bar and the women on either side grab my ass! This place is incredible. But wait. Then it dawns on me.
There’s 10 or 12 Wall Street guys in this club, and 190 hookers.
I head back to my girlfriend in a hurry, shaking off a series of aggressive female advances, and she’s understandably uncomfortable watching her colleagues at this den of degeneracy. So we finish our drinks and head out the door. As we’re leaving the managing director of the eponymous bank is walking out too.
And he has four girls with him.
I say to him, “Listen thanks for dinner, but I have to ask, why four girls?”
He responds,
“Well I set them up in a 69 and one licks my ass”
Well, um, okay then. But what’s the fourth girl for?
“She’s here to hold my beer”
The next morning, my girlfriend walks into human resources and tells this story word for word. Says she wants benefits until she’s 65.
We never see her again.
So there you have it. The reason there’s no #metoo movement on Wall Street is the girls who work on it either get a golden handshake - or they give out a Philly one.
Episode 4: Paddy Nailz
Wall Street traders are just like anyone else, only more so. But how high do you turn up the intensity until it backfires on you?
We’re going to explore this question today, by looking at the career of a legend on Wall Street, Paddy Nailz.
Paddy’s a bartender in Brooklyn now but he was once one of the most powerful people on Wall Street.
This is because Paddy ran what’s called a “Delta One Book” at a big investment bank.
A Delta One book is supposed to even out the bank’s exposure as they take risk on trades.“Delta” is Wall Street douchebag-speak for the word “difference”. I’ll take a minute to explain this with a simple example, because it’s important context for future podcasts that deal with the financial crisis:
Let’s say a Wall Street client wants to sell a million shares of a stock we all know about like Apple. The bank will buy those shares from them at a certain price and Paddy will sell a corresponding number of shares in something like Nasdaq or an ETF so that the “net” or “notional” exposure to the bank is zero. This is known as a “hedge”. If the bank can simultaneously buy back the hedge and sell the Apple shares at a profit, the Delta One account can make a lot of money and so can Paddy, the Delta One trader. During moments of financial stress like the credit crisis, a good Delta One trader is the difference between success and oblivion.
But Paddy, as a senior guy at an important pillar of the financial community, was also responsible for taking staff out for drinks on Friday when they had a good week. Before we continue, let’s set context,
It’s 2009.
* 3 million Americans are going to lose their jobs over the year and the US unemployment rate will peak above 10%
* "Sully" Sullenberger lands US Airways jet on the Hudson
* Obama is inaugurated
* Navy Seals rescue Richard Phillips from Somali pirates
* 13 soldiers are killed in the Texas Fort Hood terror attack.
* The first block of Bitcoin, called the Genesis block, is established
* Swine Flu becomes a pandemic
* Tiger Woods is caught cheating
* Greenspan admits there is no alternative to heightened federal regulations for banks
* The New York Fire Department has canceled their cadet classes.
* Obama is on 60 minutes telling bankers - as the most government-subsidized business in American history - they’re getting zero bonuses.
None of this bothers Paddy. This guy drives around in a Hummer. And not the LA version; this one looks like it just refueled in Anbar Province.
So like I said, one of Paddy’s jobs is to entertain the staff on Fridays after the close. It’s one of those Fridays. And remember, back then Wall Street was being run by a bunch of farm animals with phones.
Paddy takes 60 traders out at 5pm. At 8pm there’s 20 of them left. At 10pm we’re down to 8. By 11 there’s 5 of them. No one remembers what happens after midnight.
And on Monday there’s no sign of him right? Paddy’s a big drinker and a senior guy, so everyone just expects he’ll turn up every hour until it’s 4pm and by then the market closes. Security looks for him after that but he doesn’t answer his phone. Tuesday morning they start calling again. No answer.
They start calling his friends, no one knows where he is. Assistants around the bank are calling local hospitals and even the city morgue, that’s how important this guy is during a time of heightened market and even regulatory scrutiny.
Finally someone calls his home number for the hundredth time and Paddy picks up the line. Picture the scene:
Paddy is in a huge penthouse apartment. Everything around him has been destroyed. Paddy gets up, scratches his balls, and saunters over to a landline that’s been ringing off the hook for 2 days now.
Paddy picks up the phone: “Yeah?”
The assistant explains to him that the market is down another 5% and he’s needed in at work right now.
Paddy snorts, “Right, like I’m coming into work on a Sunday”
Let’s skip forward a day. It’s now Wednesday and Paddy’s finally back in the office. It’s also the most important day of the year for traders. It’s Christmas bonus day. The sad secret on Wall Street is that, despite massive salaries, most traders are in deficit for the year on about January 10th. Their standard annual remuneration is eaten up by mortgage payments, school tuition, holidays, and their drinking budgets. They make their money each year on bonuses. Bonuses are important.
The day after Paddy’s 4-day bender, he’s first in the CEO’s office to get his Christmas bonus. Rumors are swirling around Wall Street that traders are in line for “a donut” - Wall Street speak for zero. Paddy is the canary in the coalmine. If Paddy loses his cool, everyone on the trading floor, an area the size of a football field, knows they’re fucked.
The trading floor is totally silent. Everyone has an eye on the conference room door, waiting for Paddy to reappear. The sound of muffled shouting can be heard. Eventually the door swings open, revealing several shocked faces sitting at a conference room table. Paddy stomps back to his trading desk, gets up on his desk, squats over his keyboard and starts taking a huge shit. He then wipes his ass with a pile of trading tickets, pulls up his pants, grabs his bag and begins walking out of the bank for the last time.
As he walks out, he’s saying something to various traders he’s worked alongside over the years,
[Paddy to Trader Fifteen]: Get fucked.
[To Trader Fourteen]: Go fuck yourself.
[to 13]: Your girlfriend is a whore.
[12] Everyone here knows you rub one out in the bathroom in the afternoons. Degenerate.
[11] : Douchebag.
[10]: Limpdick.
[9] : Bitch.
[8] : Asshole
[7:]: You’re a real fart-sniffer you know that? You’ve been a pain in my dick since I met you. If I ever see you again I’m going to break that stupid face of yours.
[6:] Idiot.
[5:] You look like a ferret who gave up on itself six months ago.
[4] You should be working at a GameStop
[3] Kiss my ass
[2] Kiss his ass.
[1] Kiss your ass
[Paddy to Final Trader:] Happy Hanukkah
Episode 5: Wall Street’s worst kept secret
It’s September 2001.
Because this is a story about rub and tugs, context is important.
Are you ready? Let’s go.
* In 2001 the FTC approved the AOL and Time Warner merger
* There was a recession, anthrax attacks, Wikipedia is launched
* FBI agent Robert Hanssen is arrested and charged with spying for Russia for 25 years.
* U.S. Senator Jim Jeffords leaves the GOP in disgust, handing majority control of the Senate to the Democratic Party
* Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore has his Ten Commandments monument installed in the judiciary building
* The PATRIOT Act becomes law with a 98-1 vote in the Senate
* Enron files for bankruptcy protection
* The Danny Almonte Little-League Baseball Scandal
* Lastly, any broker or hedge fund client who worked on Wall Street in 2001 who says he didn’t go to massage parlors is lying to you.
That’s just the simple truth. It’s not up for debate. There’s even a Rub & Tug Zagats you can look at online. Google it now, I’ll wait.
But here’s the thing, I never liked them. I know that sounds like bullshit, but it’s not - this podcast is about why.
We had a big night out in 2001 with a bunch of Cantor Fitzgerald guys who I used to talk to on the phone but never met in person. I’m still the new guy on a trading desk right? So mostly I’m taking my cues from the two legacy traders who are close with the brokers. We go to an old Irish pub called the Ginger Man or something and I’m totally in my element; Endless pints and conversation at a high school level.
All of a sudden the two Cantor guys are like, “Shit it’s 6.30, we need to go downstairs for our reservation.”
So we head out the door and there’s this basement establishment with Japanese decor that looks so legit I thought it was a sushi restaurant, even though we’re downtown on Beaver Street or something.
We walk in and 20 beautiful little Asian women approach us with little steps and kimonos and slippers and perfect makeup and hair chopsticks and they’re all giggling quietly to each other and pointing at my crotch, and I’m instantly on full alert.
But then the madam walks in, takes one look at 26-year-old me, and says, [deep voice] “This one is mine”.
She’s like 60, named JoJo, and just exactly how you’re imagining a madam would look like. Fat hands like a plumber and no fingernails. She even has sandals made out of wood. She’s the Mister Miyagi of massage parlors.
I don’t know what to do, so I just follow her into a room down a long corridor and there’s bars on the ceiling, which I think is strange until she strips me naked and walks all over my back with her feet. Then she flips me over and gives me a really efficient two-handed, pepper-grinder handjob. Cleans everything up with a towel, I shower and I’m back to my beer upstairs before it’s even warm.
The next morning I’m on the phone with one of the Cantor guys who has called us, following up, and is obviously asking for business right?
A standard sales technique is take your client out for a good time and then call first thing to see if there are any new orders on the desk they need help with. No one on our firm even remembers anything after 8pm and we’re all still hammered from the night before. He could be talking about anyone or anywhere as far as I’m concerned.
The line goes dead.
You’ve since forgotten this podcast is about September 2001… because that was a lifetime ago to you, and I get that.
But I haven’t forgotten.
Because when American Airlines Flight 11 hit the Trade Center, no one at Cantor Fitzgerald gets out. The plane hits a lower level than them and everyone above that floor is doomed. That’s just the way it is at Cantor in 2001. No one gets a say.
And that’s why I was the only person on Wall Street who didn’t go to rub and tugs… and why this is a shorter episode than you expected.
Episode 6: Same Day, Same Way.
People say I’m xenophobic. I’m not. I just think America is the best country and other countries aren’t very good.
However productive this attitude might be, I will however admit it leads to moments of hubris. This podcast is about one of those moments. It’s a story about Amazon, about tip-toeing up to a bunch of laws, and how hedge funds were originally set up to trade.
It’s February 2000.
As we like to do in this podcast series, let’s set context for the year, if not the exact month:
* The Yankees beat the Mets in the 5th game of the World Series to win the 1st "Subway Series" since 1956
* A disputed election in Florida makes George Bush the first president in a century to be elected with fewer popular votes than his opponent
* Concorde Flight 4590 crashes into a hotel while taking off from Paris
* The Playstation 2 was released
* Conservatives are outraged when an illegal immigrant, Elian Gonzalez, is sent back to where he came from
* Milosevic resigns as Serbian president
* The first resident crew enters the International Space Station.
* The Nasdaq peaks and ends a 17-year bull market
Specifically we’re going to talk about how business was done in front of the 2000 market crash.
No one can see a bubble, that’s what makes it a bubble. And when you think about the runup and final months of the 1990’s Internet boom, the best analogy is probably a herd of clowns running through a minefield.
It’s not a particularly useful analogy though, so I’m going to give you a more specific incident.
Before I continue, you need to know that hedge funds are set up in the following way: One person sits up top as the Chief Investment Officer or “CIO” and keeps most of the money.
He employs people called Portfolio Managers or “PMs”, their job is to make investments wherever they can make money and they get to keep a portion of those profits, sometimes up to 20% of them.
The PMs talk to the hedge fund traders for their ideas. In an earlier podcast I referred to traders as “farm animals with telephones” - so why on earth would they do this? This is why; traders generate all the ideas, because they talk directly to the banks, first thing in the morning.
It’s early on one of these mornings, in a period where the market is still screaming higher. Now I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people. But 6am is when the real business is done on Wall Street; first person in gets the best deal. Remember that.
My head trader calls into a prominent analyst on Wall Street, let’s call him Henry.
Henry says he likes a stock, let’s call it Amazon.
The head traders asks Henry if Amazon is still a good business. And okay, if it’s such a good business, why doesn’t Henry have a zillion-dollar target on the stock.
Trap laid.
My head trader gets off the phone and buys a lot of Amazon.
For his personal account. Not for the hedge fund.
The smart traders in the fund have been listening and they go buy Amazon in their personal accounts too.
Then the head trader calls the CIO and tells him Henry the Amazon analyst will be putting a zillion-dollar target on the stock and the CIO should buy Amazon in size.
CIO starts buying millions of shares of Amazon. Price goes up.
The other traders call PMs at the fund to tell them to buy Amazon. Price goes up.
The traders and PMs now hit their phones and a rumor starts circulating around Wall Street, “10 5 W is buying Amazon”. Price goes up.
The head trader calls up a fixer on Wall Street. We’ll revisit fixers in a later podcast, but for the moment, let’s assume the conversation goes like this:
“Buzzy, I hear Henry will be on CNBC putting a zillion-dollar target on this Amazon any minute. Tell your clients. You can thank me later”
“Oh, and after you make your calls, sell 10,000 shares of Amazon for my personal account”
It’s 10am. We’ve been at work for only four hours and my head trader just gets up and leaves for the day to go look at the new McLaren F1.
Now memories and bonds should never be bought at face value. But I don’t recall this being an isolated incident.
This would happen every day.
But here’s the crazy thing. In the situation I just described, no one did anything wrong.
The CIO we talked about earlier? He also employs a compliance officer to watch over this circus. Remember the movie “Boiler Room”, with the guy eating the banana and picking his nose? Not far off.
The only rule compliance had to enforce was known as “Same Day, Same Way”. You couldn’t buy a stock in your personal account after the fund had just bought it, but you could sell it that same day.
No one really used email back then. Everything else we just discussed?
Locker room talk.
Episode 7: Up to my ass in alligators.
This Podcast is going to fly a little close to the sun by talking about what the Securities and Exchange Commission, the SEC, was doing during the financial crisis. For the uninitiated, think of the SEC as the policemen of Wall Street.
In doing so, we’re going to skip ahead to the aftermath, back in 2010. The SEC have fucked up by allowing the financial crisis in the first place, and they are angry.
First, let’s set context.
*An earthquake in Haiti kills over 300,000 people
* Canada hosts the Winter Olympics
*Median US household incomes drops to a 14-year low
* The president of Poland is killed in a plane crash
* For the first time a greater percentage of women than men graduate from high school
* The Deepwater Horizon drilling platform explodes, spilling oil into the Gulf of Mexico for months afterwards
* The Supreme Court allows corporations unlimited political spending and an unprecedented $4 billion is subsequently spent in congressional elections that year
* Greece gets a bailout alongside an austerity program that it is still recovering from now
* Julia Gillard becomes the first female Prime Minister of Australia
* Bin Laden is assassinated by Navy Seals in Pakistan
* The Dodd-Frank Wall Street reform act and Obamacare are signed into law
What was the SEC doing? In 2010, the SEC are trying to figure out how the most notorious hedge fund in the world, known as SAC, made $276 million in profit on a single trade, while the rest of the world was losing their shirts. [note: “SAC” is pronounced “S.A.C.” when the lawyers say it, but “sack” when traders say it]
This is the scene. One of the most powerful sales traders on Wall Street, let’s call him Don, has been called into a meeting with no less than five SEC lawyers.
Don is sitting down staring at one of his shoes, frowning.
Don’s lawyer is sitting next to him, also staring at Don’s shoes.
Across from them are 4 men and a young woman in gray suits looking serious. They are sitting down with their briefcases in front of them. Don and his lawyer look up. Don is smiling and his lawyer is frowning.
SEC Agent number one starts off: “So how do you know SAC?” [use one voice]
Don says: “No one knows them very well.” [second voice, deeper]
[SEC Agent]: “We have well over 14 hundred Instant Message conversations with you and a trader there named Tim. So, you seem to know them better than, say, the average man on the street correct? [pause] Isn’t that what you call yourselves? “The Street”?” [sneeringly]
Don’s lawyer interjects here and tries to call an end to the interview. The reason Don’s lawyer is scared, is because no one knew back then that your AOL instant messages didn’t just evaporate after you closed down the program. It sounds ridiculous now, I know. But it just didn’t occur to us.
It shows you how stupid New York congressmen are that in 2018 they’re still sending insider trading emails, on the White House lawn no less, and getting caught thinking they’re not discoverable! And that’s email. AOL IMs seemed infinitely more ephemeral back then.
But they weren't. Instant Messages were just as discoverable as email. And this is where Don finds himself.
The SEC agent continues: “Why don’t we start all over again then. Show you a little good faith okay? How well do you know SAC?”
Don says: “I know a guy there named Tim.”
[SEC Agent patronizingly]: “That’s better. Would you say he’s a friend of yours?”
Don says, “I’ve got three friends on the street, none of them work for SAC [“sack”]. Let’s get to the point shall we?”
Don’s lawyer looks petrified just now, because there’s been no discovery and this is where the rubber meets the road.
The SEC turns to the lawyer and says, “We’ve reviewed three years of Don’s AOL instant messages - and your colleague has been talking in some sort of code to SAC. [pause] Perhaps you could tell us what some of the codes mean sir? They don’t appear to be stock symbols. In at least thirty conversations in 2008 you used the letters “LMA”. I count 106 uses of “GFY”. 120 of “SMD”. 50 uses of “TTFN”
Don just starts laughing. “It’s pretty clear to you me that you guys are like traffic cops, getting paid to punch tickets and justify your budget…. Well LMA stands for Lick My Ass. Why don’t you figure out what the other three codes are stupid.”
Bear in mind, it’s 2010, no one even really texts in this country yet. The SEC thought guys like Don - who are just thugs in expensive suits - were smart.
Imagine the SEC spending 3 years going spastic, trying to figure out a conspiracy over what “GFY” meant, when it meant “Go Fuck Yourself”
Episode 8, “The Red Rope Treatment”, will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 8: The Red Rope Treatment
The thing to know about Wall Street in 2003 is that there was a crackdown on the worst behavior, because of regulators like Eliot Spitzer but also the sudden declines in the market pushed out a lot of the most poisonous people. But Wall Street’s one percent? The 1% of the 1%? The behaviour got worse, simply because the people left behind had more power. Bad things were happening even faster than we could lower our standards.
If you were a trader for a billion-dollar hedge fund and you wanted to go heli skiing in the weekend? You just had to pay for your plane ticket, everything else was fine.
And if you wanted something entirely more nefarious than heli skiing? [pause] Well, you could have that too. This episode touches on what exactly that sort of thing might be.
Quick 2003 context… after all, it was 15 years ago. Some of you listening to this might be 15. Although I hope not.
* The Space Shuttle Columbia exploded
* Colin Powell gives a 3-and-a-half-hour speech to the UN, falsely claiming Saddam Hussein had WMD and was allied with Al Qaeda. The mainstream media media praise it uncritically
* A viral respiratory illness known as SARS sweeps Asia
* Kobe Bryant is caught cheating
* US forces seize Baghdad in short order and George W. Bush dresses up as Top Gun and prematurely declares Mission Accomplished
* Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California
* Supreme Court Justice Kennedy overturns state laws criminalizing homosexual activity
Meantime, there’s a new kid on Wall Street. Kind of dim, but he’s good on a website we’ve only vaguely heard about called Craigslist. This guy was trouble waiting for a place to happen.
It turns out you can get whatever you want on Craigslist back then… and what hedge fund clients want is people to stub cigarettes out on their balls.
I know what you’re thinking - that that’s not a thing.
It’s a thing. I won’t name names just yet, [pause] just kidding, unless you’re part of the public record, we don’t do names here. But back in 2003, we’re talking 4 or 5 of the biggest head traders on Wall Street wearing dog collars and having chicks pee in their mouths.
On Craigslist, this new kid, let’s call him Don Junior, can order 400lb black chicks to play with clients like they weren’t middle aged men but teenage girls. One time I was at a Wall Street function and he had to leave it to drop off some coke and girls to his client; The girls met him at the curb… four of these women couldn’t fit in a single cab.
As a sales trader in 2003, if you can figure out that client-facing algorithm? Well that’s better than an ivy league education.
Now, my understanding of this underground Wall Street world is only cursory, but this Podcast is what I know about it. It goes from dark as the full sadomasochist stuff on one end, to the red rope treatment on the other.
What’s the “Red Rope Treatment”?
Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ll save the sadomasochism for another podcast and you won’t have to throw up on your shoes today.
Anyway, Don Jr. gets a reputation within months of being a guy who can get anything done. Soon he gets a call from from this buyside trader - a serious person, think partner at a $10 billion hedge fund, and he’s like,
“Hey Donald, you made the list, meet me at Tenjune at 9pm”.
Well the bar at Tenjune doesn’t even open until 10pm so he’s sitting there at 9pm looking like dipshit with a bunch of first-year interns who are holding their bosses’ places in line.
An hour later, the buyside trader walks over to him and just says,
“You got upgraded. Follow me.”
They head into this parking garage around the corner, start walking down those creepy steps that every garage in NYC has, until they’re in the basement. Remember it’s 10pm in the meatpacking district back in 2003 - it’s not safe to be on the streets, let alone 8 floors underground.
They walk up to a big reinforced steel door with an eye slit. There’s some yabbering away in a foreign language between the doorman and the Asian analyst the hedge fund guy brought with him.
The doorman won’t let them in for less than $500 which Don has to pay for of course.
Don still hasn’t even given the buyside trader the cocaine that’s bulging out of his pockets, but he totally forgets about it because he just walked into a massive room with Lazy-Boy chairs and cigars in ashtrays and there’s a parade of hookers on the stage with numbers walking in what turns out to be a giant circle that runs backstage. Every woman has a number tacked to their underwear. Turns out, number 1 costs like 2 thousand, down to number 99 for $100 or whatever the dock worker at the front can afford.
Numbers 1 through 10 are indicated in red ink. You pay for a top 10 and you get the “Red Rope Treatment”. Chances are she’s studied Japanese rope bondage for at least 2 years. This podcast doesn’t do detail on sexual degeneracy anymore than we have to, but I’ll describe it as quickly and briefly as I can.
All the usual massage parlor stuff goes on, but at the end of it the woman ties a long red rope to the bars on the ceiling. She wraps this around herself as she dances above the client, tighter and tighter, while she massages his back with her feet. Finally she flips him over, swings herself upside down, puts his dick in her mouth, and releases the rope, unwinding and spinning around like an insane version of circ de soleil . [pause]
And that... was the classiest thing that happened all night.
Episode 9: “My Inner Communist”, will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 9: Bringing out my inner communist.
It’s 2008. Let’s set context before we discuss what this Podcast is going to address,
* Spotify is launched in Sweden
* 87,000 people are killed by an earthquake in Sichuan, China
* The Summer Olympics take place in Beijing and Michael Phelps wins his 8th gold medal by one-hundredth of a second
* Russia thumps Georgia in a war over a breakaway province
* Sarah Palin's gives a disastrous interview with Katie Couric
* The remains of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia are identified using DNA analysis
* Spitzer gets caught up in a call girl scandal
* Home values plummet across the nation, as do mortgages in the form of worthless derivatives held by the big banks. [pause]
I had a front row seat during the Global Financial Crisis and it’s such a big subject that it needs a podcast or television series all its own.
Since Netflix hasn’t bought my script yet, instead of taking a single scene from that year, this Podcast will take three of them. It’s such a meaningful period that I could do 3o or 300 stories, but everyone on Wall Street has a short attention span, a casualty of employment. We like to keep these podcasts brief as a consequence.
First story...
By 2008 I’m working at a big mutual fund and I go to the Lehman Brothers office, ostensibly to catch up a friend but really to see how bad things are there. I’m sitting on the trading desk drinking coffee and who should come by but their CEO, Dick Fucking Fulds. He grabs this portable phone from the head trader and you can hear his voice right throughout the firm on the hoot and main speakers. He’s like,
“I know what people are saying, but it’s not true. We have capital lined up. We will get through this. [shouting after this point] We have the Koreans! We have the Chinese! We’re talking to the Bank of England! Warren Buffett! The Japanese!”
Half the people on the desk don’t even know what he’s going on about. So he continues with what he thinks is this inspirational speech right?
[shouted] “Let’s go! Let’s go get those naysayers, the shorts, those bastards!”.
He’s expecting applause and he’s greeted with collective silence and even a couple of loud groans. Remember his employees were forced to go buy Lehman stock when it was $60 in their 401Ks and even as he speaks CNBC is tallying every dollar it falls below $20.
Finally it’s obvious his big inspiration speech is going nowhere and he slinks back to wherever he came from.
The Lehman head trader takes his phone back from Foulds, thinking it’s been switched off, and says “We’re fucked” to the whole firm.
Unlike Foulds at this stage, the Lehman head trader is a standup guy. A respected and steadying presence at the firm. Lehman stock goes into full meltdown when he says this, and the financial system almost collapses right afterwards.
Like everything in this podcast, that is a true story. Wouldn’t believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.
Similar story, but I heard this second hand, one of the last days at Bear Sterns was when the JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon told the traders he was buying out their life savings for $2 a share. To his credit, he came in there and gave them the bad news to their faces.
He’s up on stage and there’s 400 senior people in attendance. You could’ve heard a pin drop in that conference room. This one mortgage trader, let’s call him Hank, can’t take it anymore, loses his shit, stands up, and starts screaming incoherently.
Jamie Dimon just stands there and waits him out, letting him hang himself, not saying a word. So Hank gets more and more wound up right? Starts yelling to the crowd,
“We’re not going to take this! We’re not going to take this!! Let’s protest! Let’s riot! Let’s riot!!”
In his blind anger he doesn’t realize not a single person is standing up, people aren’t even looking up from their shoes. Just think about that… like a bunch of entitled, ivy league brats in dockers and Nantucket Reds are going to cause a ruckus on NYC streets because they didn’t get their cookies out of the jar before they burned down the kitchen.
He runs out of the conference room, yelling and waving for people to follow him. Straight out the door like Will Ferrell streaking in Old School. The fucking St Paddy’s Day Parade was going on outside. The guy’s dead now obviously.
My final story involves a controversial name, someone who is constantly maligned with falsehoods. However, like the prior two scenes, I have it on good authority this is a true story.
During the financial crisis, George Soros made out like a bandit. Now, I’m not going to approach this guy like some narrow-minded conspiracy-theorist from the Right or a bitchy little whiney protester from the Left, so if you’re either of those you should keep your expectations low.
The reason that George Soros, or as he is known on Wall Street, The Palindrome, made so much money in 2008 was that he was short the banks. Or in layman’s terms, he bet that they were going to go down. Most people know that, in part because George desperately tried to warn anyone who would listen that the credit bubble was going to burst and we needed to prepare the country for it.
But George also made an enormous bet that gold would go up. He did this by buying up physical bars of the stuff, but also gold futures, and ETFs. Because an ETF is a stock, his fund had to list it in what is known as a 13F and his bet became public.
Try to picture the Soros trading desk during the financial crisis. All hell is breaking loose outside, but they’re making money on both sides of the trade - their shorts are going down and their long positions are dominated by gold bets.
In a panic, gold goes up. And in 2008 the markets are in a panic.
George is in Davos Switzerland for an annual event and, as someone who predicted the worst crisis since the 1930s, his words are highly anticipated. Maria Bartiromo is interviewing him on CNBC.
Maria asks, “George, we know you think gold is a safe haven during the crisis. We can see in your filings that you have bought a lot of gold. Where do you think gold can go from here?”
George says, “Well Mary [sic], I think gold is in a bubble.”
The rest of the interview is unremarkable, but the commodity markets take notice of this exchange and gold is down like 10%. George probably owns 4 billion worth of gold, so he just cost himself $400 million dollars.
George calls the trading desk soon after and speaks to the macro trader there, let’s call him Goose.
George says, “Hello Goose, Mary [sic] from CNBC knew we owned the gold. How does she know that? Where is the gold that we own? Where do we store it?”
Goose replies, “Well we don’t actually own the gold itself George, we mostly have contracts with the banks that require them to deliver the gold to us at a certain price.”
“But Goose, that is not good for us. The reason we want to own the gold is that all the banks are going to go away”
“I don’t know what to tell you George, even Fort Knox only owns like 100 billion dollars of physical gold.”
“hmm, okay let me think on this matter Goose. Where is the P&L trading right now?”
“George, we’re down 400 million dollars!”
“Goose, why is the P&L down?”
“George you were just on CNBC saying gold is in a bubble. Gold is down 10%!”
“Goose, I said it was in a bubble… but I did not say it was going to burst. [pause] Buy $1 billion worth of gold”
Think of it this way - one of the most famous investors in history could explain photosynthesis, but couldn't even tell you what a photo is.
Episode 10, “Glossary”, will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 10: An Urban Dictionary for Wall Street.
This episode is not a story-based podcast as such but a short interim glossary or index of random expressions that Wall Street traders use in social settings. If you haven’t listened to the first 9 episodes, I recommend you check these out before you continue.
In no particular order, these are terms I used to hear on Wall Street during the aughts:
As we discussed in Episode 2, Wall Street would refer to big Jewish clients as 10 5 W’s or 5 39’s, but there are other acronyms banks used to get away with front-running orders. For example “Rice” was the central bank of China; the Commies used to be the easiest clients to rape by far. They called the Bank of India “Chicken Tikka”.
“The Duke” was Stanley Druckenmiller.
“Crispy” was Louis Bacon from Moore Capital.
The Koreans were “Dogeaters”.
As discussed in Episode 9, George Soros was “Palindrome”
Hedgistan - the area between Manhattan and Westport CT on the I-95 corridor that includes Greenwich, the hedge fund capital of the world
“Dumbfuckistan” was an account package dealing with Midwestern mutual funds. Basically anywhere between the Upper West Side and Napa Valley.
Quant: an expert. Someone who knows more and more about less and less, until they know everything about nothing.
“Canadian Ballet” was a strip club
“Hit that bid” means go ahead and do something. Note that you hit a bid, but you take an offer on Wall Street.
“PA” - Personal Account. When you do something for your PA you are representing yourself rather than your client or any public good.
A “Traci Lords” was a barely-legal, market dominating, cock suckingly good idea.
“Dawg” - a trading assistant but also a 24/7 wingman who never says anything stupid to mess up your game.
Investor - anyone who owns a stock for more than one day.
Delta One trader - a socialist. Someone who is backed up by your tax dollars but keeps any profit.
“Stopped out” is an interesting expression meaning “this is your worst case scenario”. You might be stopped out selling a million shares of something down 10c from the bid or “stopped out” because a girl likes you at a bar while you’re still working on getting her friend.
“Putting it on the tape” - managing to pull off even the most rudimentary task.
“T&E” - your corporate expense account. Back in 2006 you could get in trouble for not spending enough T&E on T&A.
Oh and “hashtag me too”? Wall Street calls it “pound me too”. So if you see a woman discussing Me Too with a Wall Street guy, you can bet they’re thinking about totally different movements. (it’s a shame)
If you’re listening to all this and concluding that the fastest way to double your money on Wall Street is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket… you’d be right.
And does all this reflect well on the guardians of our financial system?
Well no, but that’s Future America’s problem… I don’t envy that guy.
[hard stop]
Episode 11 Altruism is selfish, will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 11: Altruism is selfish.
This is sort of a story about the credit bubble. At least it’s set in 2007, before the economy imploded, and centers around the kind of stupidity that you could get away with back then.
I used to know these four traders; they were dumb as a box of rocks and crazy as a sackful of ferrets.
But every dog has his day and they came up with a classic business idea that gripped Wall Street for over a decade. This is a podcast about that idea [pause] - and I’m telling you now, if you replicate it in any city outside of NYC, it will be a home run. It doesn’t matter how many people have listened to this already. It will still work for you. [short pause] Want to give it a shot? Sure you do. Here goes,
Step One: Ask a local restaurant that needs more business if you can bartend for an hour and donate your tips to a veterans’ charity. [pause] They will say yes.
Step Two: Invite all your friends to attend, even if you only have like five or ten. [short pause] They’ll say yes.
Step Three: Now go to your local strip club and give the girls there tickets for “the event”. This is the only expense for the idea, but don’t worry - you can buy custom plastic tickets online for like pennies. Tell the stippers to dress like civilians. Also tell them the event will end around 9pm and the patrons work in banking. [pause] Just because they’re strippers doesn’t mean they’re stupid - they will say yes.
Step Four: On the night, the strippers won’t know who works in the financial sector. And the restaurant patrons won’t know, at least at first, that the girls are working. [pause] It’ll be funny, trust me.
Step Five: Give your tips to the military charity. [pause] Yes, all of them. This is not a scam about money.
Step Six: Build an email list of attendees and ask your guests to suggest more people who want to help our military families.
Step Seven: Repeat.
These four traders, they had this business model down to a science in New York. They did random events at bars. Italian restaurants with shooting ranges. Taco-eating contests. You name it. One time they had 18 strippers teeing up golf balls at every hole in Winged Foot before management realized what was going out and kicked them all off the course. They hosted fundraisers at Cipriani [pause] Presidential candidates spoke at their events. They literally raised millions for military charities. You know who they are. [short pause] They’re the clowns running through a minefield.
Now before we continue, let’s set context. I know it’s annoying, but, as everyone finds out eventually, context is important.
It’s 2007
* Nancy Pelosi becomes the first female Speaker of the House in U.S. history.
* Britney Spears shaves her head and begins attacking paparazzi with umbrellas
* The subprime mortgage crisis begins
* Apple CEO Steve Jobs introduces the iPhone at a conference in San Francisco
* Virginia Tech shootings become the worst mass shooting in history with a number of deaths, 32, that almost seems quaint now.
* Keeping Up with the Kardashians airs for the first time
*The Supreme Court upholds the ban on so-called partial birth abortion
*The WHO reports 80% of Iraqis lack access to sanitation and 70% to clean water
* The seventh Harry Potter book sells 8.3 million copies on its first day
* Don Imus describes Rutgers University women's basketball team players as "nappy-headed hoes"
* A record 72 percent of Americans think the country is “seriously off on the wrong track”
* The top 1% of Americans own half the nation’s stocks and a record $16 trillion in wealth, more than the bottom 90%
So anyway these four idiots were out recruiting strippers for one of their shitshows and who should they run into but a Delta One trader with around 30 of his guys. Let’s call this guy Mick. If you don’t know what a Delta One trader is, I strongly recommend you listen to Episode 4 before continuing. The story can wait. The time will pass anyway, trust me.
So these two groups of traders are at Scores; this is back when it was on the Upper East Side under the Queensboro bridge. When Mick realizes the other traders are giving inviting strippers to a Wall Street fundraiser in a couple of weeks, he insists on getting involved. But it’s all just a bit overwhelming for him - these guys have the local New York Fire Department there, a ton of military guys, and Mick just goes down the rabbit hole a bit.
When it’s time to move on to another club to add a bit of diversity to the event, Mick won’t leave. He’s like,
“I’m not leaving, this girl likes me!” [Irish accent]
There’s no arguing with Mick when he’s 10 beers in, so the rest of the traders just shrug and head off to Dirty Mike’s on Rector Street.
So a month later, I run into Mick at the military fundraiser and I ask him how he knows the four girls with him. He tells me he woke up at 3am in a Scores private room next to a naked Bangladeshi businessman. The four girls were in the room, watching TV, eating pizza and using the two of them as footstools.
And that’s how I found out that one of the biggest fundraisers on Wall Street was started by a bunch of traders who wanted to have something to talk to strippers about.
And trust me, if these clowns could pull it off, you can too.
Episode 12, Dumbed-down Billions will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 12: Dumbed-down Billions
Someone once asked me, why do you think all the people in your business are so strange?
And I told them it’s because mental illness is an asset on Wall Street, not a liability.
This podcast is about the worst job interview of 2005.
Remember 2005? This interview is about the only thing I can recall. So let’s jog our memories, shall we?
Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo had a tanning bed in his office and changed his suit three times a day
Bush was inaugurated for a second term
Martha Stewart is released from prison wearing clothes made for her by another inmate
For the first time over 50% of women live without a spouse, up from 35% in 1950
The first non-Italian pope in 455 years died
Tiger Woods won the Masters again
We saw the London subway bombings
Trump married his third wife
1,800 Americans died when Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf
Brad Pitt hooked up with Angelina Jolie
Israel withdrew from the Gaza Strip
Chad Hurley and Steven Chen started YouTube [short pause]
In 2005, we mistook wanton money creation with omnipotence.
Markets may grind higher, but they crash lower. And don’t think you can keep snakes in your backyard and only expect them to bite your neighbors. What we started in 2005 ended up being a fuckup the size of France.
But I digress. In 2005 I had this great broker who rented a house in Nantucket for the whole season, and also booked a private plane to fly us there and back every weekend. Every time he finished work on Friday afternoon he’d say he’s going to meet us, but then he’d go out for “one drink”, do a bunch of cocaine and never make the flight, so we had the house and the plane to ourselves the whole summer.
The only time he made it out, he and his degenerate friends jumped in a yellow cab at 2am and had the poor guy drive 6 hours to a boat in Cape Cod. By the time he actually caught the ferry and found the location of the house it was 9pm - he walks in, falls asleep on the couch and was still sleeping when we took his private plane back to NYC. I honestly think that was the only time he used it the whole summer. Certainly I never even got to meet him in person, at least not while he was conscious. He could have slept on someone else’s couch and saved himself the 150k.
But you couldn’t help but be drawn to this sort of mindless conspicuous consumption and I thought I needed to get some of that. Being a client was flattering on a daily basis as people blew smoke up your ass, but hardly rewarding compared to the guy on the other side of the phone who could rent a million-dollar house and not even bother to visit it. So I decided to take a deep breath, say adios to the buyside and interview at his brokerage firm to become a sales trader.
To set up the interview I wanted to start off from a position of strength, so I set up a meeting with the Nantucket broker and his firm to discuss business. We’re sitting at Bond Street and I’m America’s Guest, running up a five thousand dollar tab. At the end of the dinner I tell him I’m thinking about a change of career and that I wanted to come in and interview with him to become a sales trader.
Now this put the broker - let’s call him “Bernie” going forward - in a difficult position. He has to say yes because a hedge fund customer is always right. But if he actually gives me a job, then he’s killing the goose that lays the golden egg. Who knows if the next buyside guy who takes my place will even bother to pay off the sushi dinner we just expensed, right? So I figure Bernie has to thread the needle a bit, but he says he’s interviewing sales traders the next morning anyway so I should come on in tomorrow.
I see that the night is rapidly getting out of control and I make my excuses to leave early and get some sleep to be sharp for my interview - as I leave, I see Bernie and the rest of the table drinking firebombs. One of his friends is doing lines of coke off the table.
I think nothing of it.
So the next day I make an excuse to be late to work and go into see Jay before the market opens. Now some context is in order - Yes, Bernie is a sales trader but he’s also the principal of a solid 2nd tier brokerage firm. The kind of firm that specialized in one sector, but suddenly found itself with more commissions than it knew what to do with in 2005, and was growing like crazy. With the benefit of hindsight, these sorts of champagne problems tend to inevitably lead to excess, but today I was excited to see how the leader of such a dynamic firm operated.
Bernie has a desk on the trading floor, but also an office where he’s conducting the interviews. I recognize another sales trader from the night before and he points me to where the office is. There’s five or six young guys sitting on fold-up chairs outside, obviously waiting to be interviewed. But I’m a buyside trader and an important client, so I pull a power move and stride right on past them and into Bernie’s office.
Bernie swings around to look at me and he’s like,
“I dig your confidence barging in here, but what makes you think you can be a sales trader?” [different voice, arrogant, slightly slurred]
That was sort of a strange thing to hear. We just talked about this last night right? We speak on the phone a couple of times a week.
I notice a little brown dot in the corner of his mouth. Oddly it seems to be expanding. I sort of stutter an answer how we had already talked about this last night, but I’m confused.
Bernie continues,
“That’s good to hear, so we have a bunch of mutual friends, maybe that de-risks my decision a bit. Or maybe it doesn’t.”
I forget how I responded to this, but whatever I said trailed off as I continue to stare at the brown spot bloom on his mouth.
Bernie moves on,
“So, do you think you can spend $200,000 a year on entertainment? Because what that’s what this job actually entails.”
I’m barely listening at this stage. A long trail of drool mixed with chewing tobacco is running out of Bernie’s mouth, streaming down his chin.
He doesn’t seem to notice it.
“Forget finance, who do you know that can get your client a table at the Four Seasons 8pm on a Thursday? That’s how business is done nowadays.”
I am transfixed. The chewing tobacco and drool are now dropping onto Bernie’s shirt without any apparent reaction from him. He keeps speaking,
“I was out entertaining some hedge fund dimwit last night in fact. Spent five thousand dollars on sushi if you can believe that. That was just the beginning of the night. We then hit XL and Provocateur. In fact I came straight to work from the Box.”
Now I remember all these stories about interviews at Bridgewater where the company tries to make you feel uncomfortable and sees how you react to weird situations. So this must be a test and part of the interview process, right? I finally decide I have to say something. I take a deep breath,
“Sure I can do all that. Listen, I don’t know if this is some kind of test or something to see whether I mention it, but you have spit and chewing tobacco running down your face.”
Bernie’s like, “What?”
I reply, “Look, it’s literally staining your shirt.”
Bernie doesn’t even look down but just fixes me with a stare. His pupils are so dilated, the whites of eyes have disappeared.
“What are you talking about? Get the fuck out of my office!!”
After this, I decided sales trading wasn’t for me and sure enough the firm imploded even before the financial crisis, [pause] but Bernie… he sure was an interesting bunch of guys
Episode 13 of Occupy A Job on Wall Street will be out soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 13: The Numbers Game
We had a strong after-work crew in the aughts, but by 2010 we had all begun to hit our late 30s, which in NYC makes you over the hill socially, if not professionally. While all still working on Wall Street; various members of my social group began moving to the suburbs, getting married, having kids. The circus was being disbanded, one clown at a time.
As this inevitability approached, we did our best to stave it off. We even created t-shirts with our group motto – “DGM, DHK, DNR”… Don’t Get Married. Don’t Have Kids. Do Not Resuscitate.
It didn’t work - one at a time we fell down. But this one member of our group kept dodging the bullet until technology eventually made him bullet-proof.
This podcast is about that hero. Let’s set context.
In 2010;
Canada held the Winter Olympic
Wikileaks releases US military documents covering the conduct of the war in Afghanistan.
Haiti’s earthquake killed over three hundred thousand people and was still only the 10th deadliest on record.
A volcano in Iceland disrupted flights as far away as Europe
Spain won the World Cup
Israel became the 33rd member of the OECD.
The sequel to Wall Street comes out and it’s a massive disappointment.
Just to be clear, a guy like Shia Lebeouf wouldn’t last 2 minutes on a Wall Street trading floor. He’d spend his internship stuffed in a locker and the next year of his career complaining he has PTSD until someone got sick of his whining and fired him.
Back to the hero of this story. Let’s call him “Single Guy”. We’re all sitting around a Wall Street hangout called STK one night and I notice Single Guy is picking up his cellphone periodically, swiping his finger across and putting it down with barely a glance. Now remember, this is 2010 – people didn’t meet their friends for drinks and then spend the whole night glued to their iPhones like you do now. For one of us to be constantly on the phone back then, when you were already with your buddies, it was unusual.
So eventually I call him on it and it turns out he was beta-testing an app. It was a sort of aggregator for Match.com, J-Date, and every other dating platform you can imagine back then. I think there were like four of them.
Now I think you’ll agree a dating aggregator is clever just by itself, but Single Guy had taken it a step further. He had created a three-step auto text. It’d work like this,
Step One: His shortcut would message “Hi I like your profile” to everyone within a 3 miles.
Step Two: Anyone who responded he’d reply back “Ha ha ha, that’s really funny.” Now remember, it didn’t matter what the person had actually responded to the first message, he’d just worked out that this was an all-purpose line that would get you to…
Step Three: Anyone who made it this far would get an auto text that just said, “Oh wow, you’re trouble. Come meet me”.
Forty five minutes later the bar would be full of girls, a certain percentage of them bewildered or annoyed to be part of what he called “A Match.com Stew”, but at least a few who would be DTF regardless.
Of course this was all the way back in 2010, before the advent of dating on social media. Our hero is still not married – how could he be after he got access to Tinder and Bumble?... and his game now he’s in his 40’s? Well you’ll find out when we launch his reality show in 2019.
Episode 14 - 12 Rules for Life on Wall Street.
This podcast is not a story as such, but, like Episode 10, an interim reference episode. Episode 10 was an urban dictionary for Wall Street. This is more of a general advice column for living in New York.
Rule Number 1: Always get on with the local homeless guy.
I used to live on the Lower East Side, it’s still pretty sketchy there, but in 2001 it was downright scary. I used to walk home past the Hells Angels clubhouse just because they wouldn’t let anyone else commit crimes around there that might draw attention to them. But back then trouble had a way of finding you anyway and eventually I got mugged at gunpoint near Avenue A. I’m no hero, so I’m staring at the ground, emptying my pockets and pleading with him to point the gun away in case it went off by accident. Out of nowhere this guy smashes the mugger in the head with a brick, drops him to the ground. I look up and it’s the local bum, eyes blazing like a zealot with a huge grin on his face. Now I didn’t know the homeless guy’s name, but I had always said hi to him if he caught my eye and occasionally gave him food and small change. He bent down and hit the mugger a few more times in the head with the brick and then took off with his gun. I never saw him again and the NYPD probably shot him later that night, but it’s a lesson I always live by. Always get on with the local homeless guy
Rule Number 2: Never be late.
If you’re ever late to a meeting you are telling that person that your time is more valuable than theirs. And time is a New Yorker’s most valuable commodity.
If you’re early you are on time, and if you’re on time you are late. Never be late.
Rule Number 3: Get a dog.
Think it’s hard to have a dog in NYC? I’d argue it’s hard not to have a dog. The worst thing you can do in this city is work 10-hour days and lock yourself in your little shitty apartment outside of those hours. Get outside and walk around. Talk to people. There are literally a million dogs in NYC, so there’s a million owners out there for you to meet. It’s the people in NYC that make it interesting, get out there and talk to them.
Also, dogs are better than women, fact… Don’t believe me? Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of a car, leave them there for an hour... then see who licks your face when you let them out.
The later you get home, the more excited your dog is to see you! Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. A dog will not wake you up in the middle of the night and ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?” If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad - they just think it’s interesting! If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff. If a dog has babies, you just put an ad in the paper and give them away. A dog is a gun you can pet.
[pause] And just to be clear, if your dog can fit in a microwave, it’s not a dog. To all those grown man walking shih tzu’s on the Upper West Side, you should know you look ridiculous and stop doing that.
Get a dog
Rule Number 4: Get a gun.
It’s surprisingly easy to get a pistol in NYC. Trust me, just look up the steps online. The difficulty is just the 6-month delay, but if you’re listening to this podcast you probably have long term designs on NYC, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Why get a pistol license? Well for a start it’s really fun to shoot firearms – there’s a range on 20th Street, try it. Secondly 95% of Manhattan gets outraged when you tell them you have a gun permit, so it’s fun to talk about. I’m having fun right now in fact. Lastly, a formative time of my life in the aughts was Hurricane Katrina… the lesson of Katrina to people my age was this - no one is coming to save you.
Also, like dogs, guns are better than women, fact. Don’t believe me? Let’s do this…
For a start, you can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road. Number two, guns function normally every day of the month. They don’t take up a lot of closet space. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he’ll probably let you try it out a few times. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup. [pause] Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. And lastly, you can buy a silencer for a gun. Get a gun.
Rule Number 5: Don’t buy a bar.
Everyone wants to own a bar in this town. I looked into it myself once and was lucky enough to speak to bar owner who set me straight. Let me tell you what he told me,
"So you want to buy a bar do you? I’ma give you advice like you’re one of my oldest friends. Let’s pretend we’ve known each other since high school okay? [pause] You are a fucking idiot! You’re going to lose all your money, you’ll end up hating your partners, people will steal from you, you’ll get divorced, an underage girl is going to get stabbed in your establishment and you’ll be in and out of court for years. [pause] Even in the unlikely event that you’re successful, you’ll drink all the profits and your liver will pack up.
In an upcoming episode I’ll tell you about a team of Wall Street traders who bought up bars in New York and how it ended up in fiasco. In the meantime, trust me, Don’t buy a bar.
Rule Number 6: Always smoke pot before arriving at the bar.
This one is a little odd but bear with me. Living in NYC involves constant negotiation and a million little trials a day. If you’re going to use cannabis - which I highly recommend - always smoke it around an hour before you hit your social scene. This is because doing rudimentary tasks builds confidence. If you didn’t die on the subway, congratulations! Now go talk to that girl by the jukebox. And if you’re on a citibike and get in an accident on the way? You were only going 5 miles an hour! Here’s your participation trophy, and now you have something to talk to your friends about over dinner.
Not convinced about this one? Well take it up with our mayor. With De Blasio’s endorsement... Always smoke pot before arriving at the bar.
This has gone on long enough so we’ll do the other 6 rules in a future episode. In the meantime have a good week.
Episode 15 - Everyone should have an Eddie
I always think of the aughts as the golden years of Wall Street, and part of the reason I wanted to write about them is to just put that feeling in a bottle before the memories escape me. Not coincidentally, they were also the golden years for restaurants. Tao, Abe & Arthurs, Catch, San Cubana, Brass Monkey… when these places first started firing it was a wild time in New York.
Back in those days I had a pretty close friend, let’s call him Eddie, who has long since left the business, so I can speak a little more freely about him.
So Eddie was a sale research guy at, let’s call it Stifel… because that’s not where he worked
He used to hit me up in summer and ask if he could come by with iced black coffees from Starbucks, which I obviously said yes to every time. (Snyde) Even Ackman likes Starbucks now, so don’t judge me… Anyway, it got to the point where Eddie would call the outside line, and if he was lucky and I picked up, I’d just yell out to the trading floor,
“Who wants a large black??!!”
[pause] But this is the funny part, on the way out of his office he’d grab a large FedEx envelope and stuff whatever drugs he had left over from the night before in it. He’d then seal it and bring it by my office with the ice coffees; we’d rap a little and then he’d leave the coffee and the drugs there. We were spoiled little shits back then - sometimes this envelope would sit on my desk for days afterwards until someone would realize it smelled too much like skunk and take it home.
Eventually someone got fired over it, but it wasn’t me ;)
But, while sober me thinks that’s interesting in retrospect, this is still not really the point of the story. So the weird thing is that this guy owned like 3 basis points of a club called Provocateur. He always used to invite me to go with him, but I doubt this place even opened the doors until a little before midnight and I’m a four-oh-five [4.05] drinker, so I never made it down there.
Eventually however, I put on my big boy pants and went to the club to hang out with him. Within five minutes at the bar I took off to the bathroom as an excuse to get out of a bizarre conversation with a stranger wearing a silver wig and chaps.
I walk into a toilet and all the urinals are taken, so instead I have to use the retard stall… the door was unlocked but it’s occupied by a middle aged man lying on the floor with no shirt on screaming,
“Pee on me! Pee on me!!”
You hear that sort of thing at 11.30 pm, that’s when you know you need to be home before seeing what happens after midnight. [pause]
So the other interesting thing about Eddie was he also had a driver, and this guy was also called Eddie. Eddie Number 2 was a Puerto Rican guy, with tattoos all the way up his arms and a handlebar moustache, who doubled as a bodyguard. Eddie (Number 2) and I used to get on well - if I knew he was in the neighborhood keeping an eye on his boss I’d have him swing by whatever dinner I was attending and we’d circle the block and smoke blunts.
So I leave Provocateur, literally running out the door, jump into Eddie’s car and ask him to take me home. We’re chatting away and I look down at my feet and there’s literally hundreds of pieces of cutlery and silverware strewn all over the floor of his massive SUV. I ask him why he has a whole kitchen back here and he tells me his boss and his crew never leave a restaurant without stealing every bit of cutlery they can get their hands on. So they’d hit three restaurants before going to Provocateur… in addition to the glasses, forks etc. there was a huge carving knife from Ben Benson’s, one of those giant stone inca pots still full of guacamole from Dos Caminos, and a four-foot long pepper grinder from Lavo.
And while there’s not necessarily a point to this story, I’ve just always wondered about that… how do you steal a 4-foot pepper grinder from a two-star restaurant???
If you can relate and know the answer hit me up. Otherwise I’ll see you next week
Episode 16: Sexism on Wall Street.
Before I get into this one, I’d like to do two things. Number one, encourage you to listen to Episode Three before you continue. And secondly, dispense with this commonly held idea that there’s some “great institutional bias”(mockingly) against women in the United States.
Well of course you don’t. I didn’t believe it myself until I looked at the numbers.
Consider this,
If you adjust for hours worked, as well as for the presence of marriage and kids, women make 20% more than men in the United States. That’s right - women get paid one fifth more money, for doing the same job.
Women live around five years longer than men, a gap that cannot be explained by biology but has to be related to environmental factors.
Women started graduating college in greater numbers than men back in 1982. That was 36 years ago people. Almost 50% more women are graduating with college degrees than men right now - a gap that is projected to widen.
But if you’re a woman and listening to this, I want you to think about something - your son, husband or father is more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, lung disease, a stroke, diabetes, liver or kidney disease, Parkinson's, influenza, pneumonia, and is 400% more likely than a woman to commit suicide. In fact the only thing you’re more at risk from is Alzheimer's and well, breast cancer I guess.
But you have boobs! If I could sit around all weekend and play with my boobs, while avoiding fourteen out of the fifteen leading causes of death during the week?
Well, I’d like to think most men would be just fine with that.
Men are 200% more likely to die in accidents!
Accidents... How is that possibly fucking fair?
If there’s a sexism bias, it’s against men. Polls show men are almost twice as likely to prefer a daughter to a son. Mothers are only 24 percent more likely, but they still prefer daughters. Think about that for a bit.
Now before you think I’ve taken the red pill or joined some alt-right group, a little context is in order. I personally think Trump is a charlatan and a narcissist who cares about nothing but his own self-aggrandizement. Even his supporters seem to agree that he’s a degenerate and a liar and every day he’s president this country shrinks a little.
But it doesn’t change the fact that American men face more challenges and more institutional bias than women, and that’s just a fact.
But not on Wall Street.
Wall Street is the last bastion of male dominance in an area where there’s no reason women can’t be just as successful as men. Now how on earth did we pull this off?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and it really does come down to a hostile workplace environment. Not just hostile for women mind you, but hostile for everyone.
Let me give you an example.
My first job on the Street, people just christened me “Stupid”. Not as an occasional adjective… someone on the desk decided it would be my actual name one day because I assumed the symbol for Intel’s stock was INTL when it was actually INTC. Boom. Your name is Stupid for the next twelve months. Imagine coming into work,
“Morning Stupid!”
“Get the phone Stupid”
(Annoyed)“Pick up that ticket Stupid”
(Genuine)“What do you want for lunch, Stupid?”
“Pass that pen Stupid?”
“Hey Stupid, want to go grab coffees for us?”
“Call UBS for a look in Intel, Stupid”
“Market is closed Stupid”
(Smiley)“Have a good night Stupid”. [quickly. all in the same, different, voice]
Now I was stupid back then, my body flooded with testosterone - something I now refer to as “the dumb drug”. Testosterone is one of the reasons men face the plethora of problems I mentioned earlier and why women are outperforming us in just about every metric that matters in this country.
Of course there’s a good reason for hazing - it’s Wall Street’s way of training you to handle the criticism it takes to be successful in a high pressure job. But hazing means different things to the different sexes - hazing amongst men is a prerequisite for success and test of whether you can be trusted. Hazing amongst women is the opposite; it’s a way women exclude each other from a larger group.
The reality is that most women just wouldn’t put up with that sort of environment back during the aughts. And now that you can’t get away with even mild teasing on trading desks, you can bet women are coming for our jobs on Wall Street.
And they’re gonna get ‘em.
Episode 17: The robots are coming (wonky)
Around 2004 I met my first quantitative analyst, AKA a “quant”. At the time I ran a large trading desk that executed trades for a couple of portfolio managers, also known as PMs. My traders and I used to call ourselves “trigger pullers” because that was essentially our job - if someone who worked for our fund decided to buy or sell something, we’d make it happen. We also called ourselves “execution monkeys” for the same reason - we really only had one trick, but people were always strangely impressed that we could do this and drink beer all night.
It’s worth saying this stuff out loud, because trading jobs like this barely exist anymore and it’s because of quants that they don’t. But if you were a trader in the aughts you had one of the best seats in the world.
So anyway, my COO asks me to go meet this new quant who was going to run money for us. I’d done a 100 of these meetings, but all my prior PMs made money the old-fashioned way - which was either buying value stocks and then riding out volatility or buying momentum stocks and causing volatility.
I walk into the office and there’s a Ukrainian woman in her 40’s who tells me she was a professor at some college and had figured out a sure-fire way to make money and that her models never failed. All I’d have to do was enter 4,000 trades on the first of the month and reverse them 4 weeks later.
Now if this sounds like a problem, then you heard me right.
Remember it’s 2004 - we’re not that far from the days where we used white paper tickets for buy orders so we could tell them apart from sells. Getting carbon copies of the trade tickets was practically an innovation back then.
But I figured out the solution, which was to have our IT guys load all the trades up from Excel and then tell what’s known as a “program desk” at a bank to execute it.
Sure enough I come in on the first of the month, pull a trigger, the 4,000 trades go off.
So skip forward three months and the quant has lost money every month and she can’t figure out why. The models work, but the output is just different.
I go into her office to see if I can help and she explains why she should be making money and how it seems to be just disappearing somewhere. As I question her about her quarter, she answers almost every inquiry using the word “heuristic”.
I’d had a late night and I needed to get back to the desk, so I ask her;
“Okay, tell me what your assumptions are for the cost of commission, spread, volatility, and implementation shortfall?”
She’s like, “who?”
and she looks at me like I looked at her when she said the word “heuristic” - somewhat confused and as if she suddenly wanted the whole conversation to go away.
Now, if you’re still listening after that nightmare of words, let me run through all of them one at a time.
Cost of commission - this is the fee you pay a broker to execute a trade. Back then you could negotiate something like 1c per share for program trades, but that’s still 5 basis points on a $20 stock. We’ll come back to basis points shortly, just remember the number “five” for now.
Spread - this is the gap between the bid and the ask. When you buy something, you don’t get last sale, you get the offer. Likewise when you sell, you get the bid. If a spread is say 30 basis points, you might pay half of that to execute. So let’s say the spread was a 15-basis-point cost.
Five plus fifteen is twenty.
Volatility - stocks don’t stay in one place, they move. Murphy’s law also says they move against you. For further sake of simplicity, let’s just say the cost of volatility back then was 15 basis points.
Twenty plus fifteen is thirty five.
Implementation shortfall - bear with me on this one. Implementation shortfall is the cost of executing the size of your order. You may be able to buy 100 shares on the offer, but you can’t buy 10,000 shares there. You have to move up the book and each offer you take gives you a worse price. This can be expensive. Let’s call it 30 basis points.
So now you have sixty five basis points of costs that the local monkey knows you have to account for, but a tenured academic...had never heard about. [pause]
But I’m not done.
That’s only for entering the position. You have to pay all these costs again when you exit it. So 65 times 2 is 130…. 130 basis points is the same as 1.30%.
So now you’re losing 1.3%.
Each month.
15% a year
This is why I refer to quants as people who know more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing. The gigantic flaw in her Wall Street money making idea was Wall Street itself.
And I still don’t know what “heuristic” means... but I do know this - If someone ever uses that word, check your wallet is still in your pocket and get as far away from them as possible.
Episode 18: GQ’s Wingman of the Year.
In the late aughts my colleagues and I took a trip to a Spanish-speaking country to do some business and watch a football match. There were probably 20 of us heading there from New York and I flew in with five of them. We arrived around 10 AM and the hotel couldn’t let us into our rooms until midday. The staff in this country were nicer back then, so they store our bags and point us to where we should go.
We’re sitting around making fun of one of our friend’s bright red shorts and this hot girl in her 30s walks over and asks if we want to smoke a joint.
About half of us say yes, and after that she rolls a couple more joints.
After about an hour she starts a rap with our buddy with the red shorts, and they take off together somewhere.
This neighborhood is like being all the way out in Williamsburg back then, so I don’t think that much of it. We still have an hour to kill, so someone says we should go to the local Duane Reade.
We walk into the pharmacia and this one friend of ours who used to live in the city starts ordering in the local dialect. Fortunately I’m standing close to him so I can hear what’s going to happen for the rest of the weekend;
Cerveza.
Winstons.
Chewing gum.
Viagra.
Durex.
Xanax.
Ambien.
Quaaludes
I can’t remember the rest but there was a lot more. He just throws some US cash on the counter and we walk out with bags of the stuff. As he’s walking out one of the girls who was hanging outside says “me gusta tu camisa roja” and he stops to talk with her.
We leave him there. Half of us walk east and the other half of us walk west. I don’t see the guys who walked east until the we arrive back at the airport terminal on Sunday.
The rest of the night is unmemorable, but those of us who manage to get up before midday go to some set brunch in a local square. When we sit down, I look over and a third colleague of ours comes rolling out of a fountain in his undies and strolls over. He sits down and starts eating all our food and asks if I like his red jockstrap. This is super weird but sure enough, some chick comes over and starts ordering coffees and mimosas and about an hour later the two of them take off and that’s a another person I didn’t see again for the rest of the weekend.
So we’ve been here a day or so and we figure we should buy some stuff for the hotel room because the fridges are too small. So we take off to the local market and we’re buying vegetables and stuff and one of our guys is advising a lady on what sort of food her son should be eating, and that’s the last we see of that guy.
Now there’s like 4 of us left and there’s another 36 hours on the trip including a real live football match in 5 hours, so I’m looking at the last few people around me and wondering how badly this story is going to end.
We head up to the rooftop to escape any random local gang activity and we’re sitting around with what we think are road sodas before the game and one of the girls swimming in the pool gets out and talks to the Aussi sitting next to me. I don’t think much of it until he ends up staying up there with her when we leave and it dawns on me that I’ve never seen anyone wear red billabongs before.
Game’s on in 2 hours... [weak] Yay football right?
Remember, this is a work trip, we’ve been here a day and we’re already running an 85% casualty rate.
A few of us decide we need to head to the local brewery near the stadium. We’re financial guys, so we go somewhere in the financial district, or whatever passed for it in this shithole country.
I look at the two of my companions. Now I didn’t fly in with either of them but one of these guys could annoy a stripper and the other smells of Binaca. What could go wrong?
They’re both wearing red.
Some girls at the bar are giggling and pointing their way.
So I ask one if them, are you wearing red because it seems like some sort of aphrodisiac to women in this country? Or is it just a coincidence that every one of my colleagues has hooked up with a girl wearing some sort of red clothing? I’m genuinely wondering about my sanity. But I’m insecure in other ways too - no woman has even looked at me sideways but everyone else seems to have hooked up with ease. One guy slept in a public fountain and managed to score an hour later!
This guy looks at me like I’m crazy and says,
“You didn’t know? [pause] If we’re in an unfamiliar city we arrange ahead of time for hookers to meet us and have them pretend to be civilians. At the arranged time, we wear red so they know how to find us.”
And that’s how I ended up in a football stadium by myself in a third world country, while my peers... were all on a completely different trip.
Episode 19 - So, you’re going to get fired.
Some final thoughts before I close out the season.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that a short tenure is no liability on Wall Street. Hell, I’ve had 8 jobs in 15 years. Some places I was barely there for a cup of coffee. [arrogant, aggressive]
Any job you have on Wall Street involves, at least in some small way, dancing on the graves of the unemployed and dispossessed. So employers in my business don’t blink an eye if you’ve seen your share of pink slips.
This podcast details some of the most valuable advice anyone ever gave me while looking for a new job, and after that I’ll close out with my favorite Wall Street firing story. (Intriguing) [pause]
While I was working in my last trading seat it soon became clear I had a target on my back and was going to be kicked to the curb. Fortunately I had a friend in the business who used to fire people just to see the expressions change on their faces… He didn’t trade stocks….he traded people. [pause]
This is the advice he gave me, use it wisely.
1) Don’t tell anyone else at your firm what you’re thinking.
Remember, no one was ever betrayed by silence.
2) Use your time efficiently.
Open up a Google spreadsheet. Now look up your contacts, your LinkedIn connections etc and write down the names of everyone you know and rank each one of them.
You should use two measures to rank each person – Can They Help You or “Ability” and Will they Help You, or “Willingness”. Assign a value between one to five for each of these and - once you’ve thought seriously about every person you’ve met in prior years - sort the spreadsheet by value and systematically approach the 10’s, the 9’s etc all the way down to the 6’s.
3) When you approach people, ask them for advice not a job interview.
If you ask someone for advice, they will be flattered, they’re more likely to say yes to an in-person meeting, and remember - every meeting is an interview anyway.(nonchalant) Go with the path of least resistance.
To reiterate this point: If you want a job, ask for advice... if you want advice, ask for a job.
4) Figure out what you really want to do
As Jordan Peterson would say, pursue what is meaningful, not just what is expedient.
What I recommend here is to list every firm you can think of and then rank them.
Open up a second tab on your Google spreadsheet to keep your thoughts on this in one place. Start by ranking each firm by how much you’d like to work there. But also by as many criteria as you can think of - culture, business potential, core competency, management reputation. Sort the data and begin approaching people to get into their offices for a meeting, per step 3.
5) Be mindful of other people’s time.
As a general rule, you should contact people between Tuesday and Thursday and between 11am and 3pm. Why? Before 11 and on Monday’s they’re too busy. On Friday’s and after 3pm they’ll be in a hurry to get out of the office.
And for Christ’s sake don’t call people when the stock market is opening or on the closing bell. That may seem obvious but I get 10-year veterans doing that to this day… it’s insane.
It may be a cliche - you really do only get one chance to make a first impression.
6) Never, ever be late for a meeting.
I mention this in an earlier podcast, but it can’t be emphasized enough; Get to the building 20 minutes beforehand and just read a newspaper outside. But that said, don’t actually walk into a meeting 20 minutes early… you may think you’re showing enthusiasm but it’s just disruptive. Factor in security and elevator delays, then walk in a minute early, no more and no less.
7) Write down everything you do and always follow up with people.
Josh Marshall once said, “I write to know what I think”. It’s good advice.
Open up a third tab on your Google spreadsheet and track your progress on a daily basis. When you meet with someone, ask if you can take notes. And when you walk out of a meeting, go home and write down everything that was talked about.
Follow up every time you meet with someone. You should email the person the day after, not the same day. Then a week after that. Then 4 weeks after that. Always follow up with something you previously discussed, never email people just asking if they know about a job.
One of your goals when you follow up with someone should be to have that person make two introductions for you. Think about what your network will look like if you are successful in doing this.
It won’t look worse, just trust me on this one.
Be sure to ask people you meet to copy you into an email when they are introducing you. If they don’t copy you into an email, you can assume they didn’t do it.
Remember, the good thing about looking for a job is you only need to find one. Be optimistic and enthusiastic; you don’t have any choice… there’s only one path forward.
In any case, this Podcast has been waaaay too serious and it’s time to segway into my favorite firing story…
We used to work with an extraordinary person. Not only was she a working woman with two kids - and therefore almost unfireable - but she had Tourettes on top of that. She’s been out of the business long enough that I can use her last name - it was “White”.
Imagine this White woman with tourettes in a meeting with five African American clients dropping N-Bombs every two minutes. It seems inexplicable now that I recall it, but I swear...her clients loved her.
A million insane things happened to her while she worked on Wall Street, but we’ll talk about some of those in Season Two. I want to talk about one story in particular.
My understanding of what happened, is this - her house-husband came home one night and she had left her laptop on with her company credit card statement open in the browser. Being somewhat curious about what his admittedly eccentric wife was up to on her business trips, he checked some of the payment descriptions and there was a single $1,000 charge for an item from a store named “Doggie Style”.
Now they had a pet, but he didn’t ever recall his wife coming back from a Las Vegas trading convention with a $1,000 present for for their cat. [flat]
So he calls up the store with the item number and the clerk wants to know how he liked his double-ended magnum dildo with the diamond-studded two-handed grip.
[pause] That’s a mouthfill I know. [pause]
He was not amused and unfortunately for her, he also believed revenge was a dish best served cold.
So he spends the next two months gathering email, text, photo and even video evidence of what she was up to.
Remember not only was Ms. White a sexual predator, she had tourettes too. I’m not going to go into what the videos allegedly showed, but trust me we’re talking about world-class smut here.
So fast forward two months and the husband calls the trading desk and asks to speak to his wife. I tell him she’s off the desk and he says fine and I should tell her to check her email.
Now he’d got into her contact lists as well, both professional and personal, so two minutes later I get an email from this guy saying my colleague was a cheating bitch and he was divorcing her. But it wasn’t just me - this email went to the neighbors, her clients, everyone in the firm… god knows who else… before I deleted it I could see hundreds of other recipients. Attached to the email was the litany of evidence I referred to earlier.
I don’t hate anyone enough to destroy them like that... but hell hath no fury like a house husband scorned.
Season 2, which includes stories from the Spotted Pig, details how Iceland blew up the world economy, and includes many many Australian jokes, will be released soon.
Season Conclusion - The Pitch.
How many TV shows are there on cops?
How many on lawyers?
Doctors?
That’s right, there’s hundreds of them.
How many shows are there on Wall Street?
Billions.
But billions is not a reflection of a saturated market. It’s a single media franchise.
That’s right, there’s just one television show about Wall Street, a sector of the economy that makes up a tenth of US GDP and is based in New York - a city that the world finds compelling and fascinating.
For now let’s acknowledge there’s a huge opportunity here for someone and put a pin in that idea. I’ll circle back to it in a minute.
I’ve lived in New York my entire professional life and during the aughts I worked for a hedge fund that would make Bobby Axelrod look like a 2 dollar retail broker.
While consistently holding down a job on Wall Street, I’ve studied hundreds of business models and made multiple investments in different areas. I’ve also found it useful to follow certain individuals, and within the media space, the person to watch is Jeff Katzenberg.
Katzenberg was chairman of Disney, founded the animation company Dreamworks with Steven Spielberg, and recently raised a billion dollars for his current venture WNDRCO [pronounced WonderCo]. A decent IPO on Wall Street is $300 million… but this guy was able to raise a billion without breaking a sweat and hire Meg Whitman from Hewlett Packard.
What’s he planning to do with the money? Well, they’re playing their cards close to their chest but what’s clear is it hinges on high quality, short form streaming television content.
How short? Well not coincidentally, about the average length of my podcasts.
Now I don’t know Jeff Katzenberg and more importantly, he doesn’t know me. But if Katzenberg is buying into something, with his track record I think that’s a business you’d want to be in.
Who else is buying content? Well all the traditional broadcasters, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO, Showtime, Google, Facebook, Snapchat, the list goes on - hell even Costco and WalMart are getting into the streaming content business.
So let’s circle back to the pitch again. We have a massively overlooked and compelling subject matter, with limited legitimate supply, and any number of potential buyers… the next question is, what makes me think I can create a viable product to fill it?
Well most importantly, I’m sitting here with an almost endless pool of original content - all of them true stories. As I’ve found out the last few weeks, the truth really is stranger than fiction, and therefore ideal for a new streaming media show. My initial plan was to create 10 podcasts before year end, but I’ve published 20 in less than two months, with another 20 already in production for next season.
Secondly, people on Wall Street won’t talk to a writer or journalist, but they trust me and tell me their stories because I lived through it all with them. If I prize my anonymity, I’ll have to protect theirs too.
On a more personal note, I’ve also recently finished up another 10-year project, and my kids are out of the monkey stage - I’m in a position to just keep plugging away at this concept until I’m successful.
Lastly, the medium has matured enough to allow us to produce and distribute this pitch anonymously. [pause] Podcasts are a fascinating communication tool right now - I recently heard that for the first time since Gutenberg fired up the printing press, more people will be communicating via the spoken word than the written one. In fact, at the beginning of the year I remember running around trying to interest people in a 120-page hard copy of my screenplay. But the reality, is a podcast can travel halfway around the world while a screenplay is still putting on its shoes. [pause]
Let me wrap this up and come to my point - I do a lot of mentoring on Wall Street and one of the things I tell these people is that no meeting is unimportant, especially when you’re learning about a new space.
Well, it’s time for me to eat some of my own cooking - if you are in the media space, we want to talk to you. If you know someone in television, an agent, a successful writer, or a producer, we want to talk to them too. Even if your name isn’t Jeff Katzenberg, go ahead and email us at “occupy a job on wall street @ gmail.com”
And that, my friends, is a wrap on our first season. If you liked this podcast and want to see it become a TV show, tell your friends to listen. And if you don’t like it, and think it sucks, then tell everyone you know what a Greek tragedy it’ll be when it gets picked up.
Season 2 Preview - The Dinner Party
There were twenty of us at The Gramercy.
It was a momentary friendship forged in the bursting of the Nasdaq bubble, the September 11th attacks, a recession, and the contemporary frictions of the Iraq War. There was a fraternity between us now that seems hard to imagine in today’s New York City, [short pause] which recently strikes me more like a Euro Disneyland, rather than city I knew back then.
This is the scene. [pause]
Taking his place at the head of the table is an equity trader from Goldman North who had come up with a pretty clever way of getting his non-Wall Street friends drunk. He’d arrange to have dinner with a couple of his hedge fund peers - for simplicity, let’s call them the Tudor’s and Diamondback’s of the world back then. He’d then figure out which brokers wanted to do more business with those funds and tell them to make a reservation at one of the hot new restaurants at the time. The brokers would be so grateful to be around these valued clients, there would be a rush at the end of dinner to put their credit cards down. The Goldman North guy was always coincidentally “deep in conversation” elsewhere when the bill arrived and would disavow any knowledge of it being multiples of the amount the SEC legally mandated you could spend on your clients. Of the twenty of us there, six or so would be just random friends or girlfriends of his, but you never knew which ones, so they just drank for free. He himself had the memory and attention span of a goldfish, so who knew what his real agenda on the night was.
Next to the Goldman North guy is a tall blond girl he introduces to the table as “Suka”. I recall a slightly eastern-European-looking man opposite wincing as he said it, although she herself looked unperturbed. She worked at a company called Sandler O’Neill at the time and despite that firm’s near extinction during the 9/11 terror attacks, decided to sue them on her way out the door to give a billionaire two male heirs and play tennis in the Hamptons. [pause]
Imagine if Anne Boleyn (Bow-LINN) had pulled that off… it would've changed world history. [pause]
To the Goldman North guy’s left is a tall woman with big hair and a perpetual smile on her face matching the ever-present cocktail in her hand. He introduces her as “Slapper” which means nothing to me until the British guy next to her gets all huffy about him calling her that and then with a start I realize I’ve met her before. Just a week ago she had rollerbladed into Pastis, drawing all the attention of the patrons in her lycra outfit, but never more than when she slipped over in front of all the clients she was trying to impress and knocked her front teeth out. [pause]
Her shiny new teeth smiled happily at me from across the table.
I introduce myself to the British man to divert him from getting in a fight with Goldman North over the name Slapper, which I gather must be analogous to the word Suka in Russian. He tells me he used to work at Fidelity, but decided to resign and try his hand at a bank, so now he worked at Nomura. In a couple of months I’ll find out he was actually fired from Fidelity and, while he does indeed work at Nomura…. it’s as a security guard. To this day, I still marvel at his ability to have dodged the immediate disinterest of Wall Street in anyone who drops out of their white collar ranks. My understanding is he pulled this trick off for the next 10 years before the bank compliance teams made brokers hand in detailed notes of the people attending their work dinners. [pause] God Bless.
I groan when I see who joins us next and sits next to the British fraud from Nomura. It’s a Dundee. Now, as I’ll get into in a future Podcast, Australians are a special class of people on Wall Street, equally as despised as they are oblivious to their role as outcasts. “Dundee” sits down and immediately posits to the banker sitting across from him that Italians aren’t real white people. Before he can turn his attention to me, the waitress mercifully approaches. He engages her, and after finding out she’s from Taiwan, expresses his appreciation for Thai food. [pause]
The more I see of Australians, the more I appreciate my dog.
Next to Dundee, instinctively avoiding him ever since she heard his accent, is a well put together woman in her late 50’s we call “The Rock”. She’s been on the Merrill trading desk since her 20’s and you won’t find anyone to say a bad word about her over that whole time, so we’ll move on to the next person.
Beside The Rock is a tall guy who looks almost exactly like an even-friendlier version of Will Ferrell. He works at Google but will soon transition to a brokerage firm called Bay Crest. Later I catch up with him at the bar drinking whisky shots and I discover he’s the sort of person who would give you the shirt off his own back. [pause] This is a moment I will remember vividly, long after he drinks himself to death in a New Orleans’ bar entertaining SAC clients some later.
The Italian guy that Dundee insulted seems like a stand up person and I later find out he is indeed a high-integrity person, but even that can’t save him when the worst people on Wall Street want a piece of you. A decade from now, he will attend a charity for Harlem kids who don’t have the necessary means for a necessary means for a higher education [see Big Lebowski scene for tone]. One of his subordinates was overheard saying something totally unacceptable at this fundraiser… and when it got back to a bunch of snowflakes, that was it for his job too. The fundraiser itself was in honor of a famous hedge fund founder, and when several of their executives asked his brokerage firm to deliver them a head… the firm came back with two. [pause] Collateral damage, Wall Street style.
Next to the Italian guy I recognize one of the biggest hedge fund guys on the Street. At a dinner like this it’s unusual to be joined by any serious executives, but this guy actually runs a fund - he doesn’t just pick through scraps like the rest of the pilot fish here. He’s remarkably relaxed and talkative - in his element amongst traders, which is great to see at the CEO level. His wife will join us later and I remember her being nice as well... which is odd since she is widely believed to have later spiked his dinner with ambien and they find him naked, head down in a pool he never used to swim in.
Someone takes a seat next to me and I ask her what she does on the Street. She says she’s in sales and her job is to make dumb guys like me feel smart.
Before I can reply, there’s a commotion at the head of the table and I look over to see a well-dressed guest with a serving fork sticking out of his forearm. He’s drinking a Maestro out of a pint glass, but he hasn’t spilled a drop of it and is laughing along with the person who stabbed him.
[Sigh or deep breath]. It’s going to be a long night.
Season 2, which includes stories from the Spotted Pig, details how Iceland blew up the world economy, and includes many more Australian jokes, will be released soon.
Episode 21: Welcome to Italian night at Au Bar.
Au Bar was what they used to call the downstairs club of Lavo on 58th Street.
As we talk about in Episode 17, our crew used to hang out at the restaurant above, but also steal lots of their cutlery and just about anything we could get our hands on.
We got so cocky we’d actually bring everything we stole from the restaurant downstairs to Au Bar with chasers. The doormen were good guys and they used to see the funny side of it. We used to bring whole lobsters down there and, as long as you were friendly about it, most of the time they’d let you get away with it.
Au Bar was nuts back then. Jam packed with Euro-trash - I didn’t even smoke and inhaled 3 packs a night when we went there.
So one night we walk in and the doorman waves us through as usual, but there’s some Italian guy in front of us who gets all pissed off about having to wait while we waltz right in. He kicks up a fuss and the doormen just tell him he isn’t coming in at all now.
Just another night in New York, right?
A couple of Thursdays later we’re there as usual and the guy comes back with 20 of his friends and confronts the doorman who rejected him.
He hands the guy a card and it says,
“Welcome to Italian night at Au Bar”
Then they beat the shit out of him.
After they’re done kicking him they walk downstairs and start systematically beating the security guards in the bar one after another. Now security at Lavo were all tough guys, ex-cops, jujitsu muscle and all. But there’s nothing they can do against two dozen guys that are used to fighting alongside each other. They put down anyone who gets in their way.
Once all the bouncers were taken care of and not getting up anytime soon, they get downstairs and herd all the bartenders and patrons including us into a back room. After all, we hadn’t done anything. We were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
When we’re out of the way they start smashing all the mirrors and cutting up the furniture with knives. They shatter every bottle and glass behind the bar, throwing most of them against the walls. They then go into the bathrooms, piss and shit all over the place and finally break the toilet bowls, letting water and sewage run all over the place. Lastly they take all the money out of the till but instead of keeping it they just leave it strewn all over the floor with their custom business cards they’d made up especially for the occasion. [long pause]
Anyway, if any of those Italian guys hear this and want to tell us how the rest of their night went… we’re all ears.
Episode 22 - Stories from the Floor.
I read somewhere that when guys like me talk about how New York “used to be better”, what we really mean is that we used to be younger.
There’s some truth to that. But without a doubt one of the great blows to New York in the aughts was the reduction of the New York Stock Exchange Floor to a shadow of its former self.
Now the Floor still exists of course, but it’s a sanitized version of what it once was. Sterile and without character or any sense of the excitement that used to jolt even the most cynical of us awake when we walked on there. The NYSE realizes this, which is why it sent a bunch of bureaucrats to pretend to be traders when they were pitching Evan Spiegel for the SnapChat IPO.
Now I could - and perhaps might - write an entire series about what used to go on down there, but I want to start off in an unexpected direction… with Old Man Willy.
Now I’m betraying my age by even knowing Old Man Willy’s name, but he must be long dead and gone because he was an 80-year-old black guy working on the floor back when you needed a ticker reader for oddlots.
[pause] Let’s unpack that last sentence a little.
Back in the old days a “block trade” was anything bigger than 10,000 shares and an “odd lot” was anything under 100. Computers make markets now, but back then people did it - a job known as a “specialist”. We’ll talk about specialists shortly but suffice to say there was no money in trading oddlots, so they’d just bang a price on them and literally create a physical ticket to record it. Someone had to add all those up by hand… and that someone was Old Man Willy.
Now Old Man Willy also wanted to be out of work by 4pm and this job wasn’t always compatible with that. The closer it got to 4, the more excited he would get if he was behind in counting up these tickets. Likewise if he was ahead of his game he used to get quite mellow and happy. Here’s something I used to hear him say when things went well:
[in deep south southern drawl]
“Well that there’s a double-handy with a rim job… Right hand upside down.”
But it’s when things went badly that the real action used to come out of Old Willy’s mouth and this podcast is about the time I saw him as angry as I ever saw anyone in my career.
Now one thing to remember about stocks back then was the average nominal value was about $20. In part, this was why Wall Street was such a lucrative business - you get paid 6c on a $20 stock that’s a 1.2% commission. Not bad. And that’s before spreads. Remember a spread is the difference between the bid and the ask. Not only that, markets were quoted in eighths and sometimes quarters. Taking an eighth on a trade meant you made 2.5% on the spread in a $20 stock.
Good business if you could get it. And if you worked on the New York Stock Exchange, you got it.
Nowadays we’re quite used to stocks with high nominal values, simply because great businesses like Google and Amazon never split their stocks. But think about this - Apple used to trade at $8 a share back in 2002, so an oddlot trade that Old Man Willy processed wasn’t ever going to be worth more than $800. Remember - an oddlot was under 100 shares.
But Warren Buffett’s company, Berkshire Hathaway Series A, traded at $55,000 a share. So an oddlot trade could be over $5 million.
This is why the only laptop on the New York Stock Exchange was dedicated to trading Berkshire stock. Because not even a specialist could keep up with the trades that moved in $55-thousand-dollar lots. But technology causes its own problems. Never more than when when an intern threw up her chicken wings all over the laptop in question and put it out of commission for a couple of hours.
This is a full blown emergency, so they bring Old Man Willy into the specialist booth to count up the 5-million-dollar paper tickets. Remember, he’s the odd-lot broker. But now he’s not dealing with hundreds of dollars, but millions.
He’s muttering to himself and counting them up and the phone rings. So he picks it up and it’s Cramer Berkowitz from Mad Money. Now this is back before Cramer had his own TV show and he’s just some hedge fund guy trading financial stocks - but even back then people knew who he was because he was notoriously volatile.
Cramer goes,
[pissed off] How did I sell Berkshire at quarter? It was half bid when I gave you the order? Did it even trade there?
Old Man Willy replies LXE thru the system hit the half bid - the spec opened the quote up and paid a quarter for your stock. Well look at that! Stock is now 7/8th last - that possum's on the stump! What do you want to do?
Cramer's like, “That’s fucking bullshit. You’re a bunch of criminals down there!”
[Old Man Willy]: Well don’t get your knickers in a knot, the computer’s down and I been running all over hell's half acre!
Cramer: “What the hell does that mean?! I’m coming down there and I’m going to fuck you up!”
So Old Man Willy hears this guy threatening him and says,
“Is that right? Well now, tell me if this sounds like I’m hanging up on you?”.
Then Old Man Willy puts down the phone.
Cramer is furious. And this guy was notorious for his bad moods back them. They used to keep spare phones and even computer monitors on the trading floor to switch them out when he threw them against the wall or smashed the receivers against his desk. He’s so mad he bounces out of his desk and runs all the way down to the New York Stock Exchange.
It’s unclear what really happened down there but the assumption is that there was no real confrontation, at least that I heard about, and Cramer was soon back at his desk yelling at someone else. In any case, neither of these guys could knock the top off a rice pudding, so we didn’t miss anything.
Now this would’ve been the end of the story if it wasn’t for the intervention of a third character. Let’s call him KB. Now KB was an interesting guy. He went all the way from being a prison guard to ending up as the head trader at one of the biggest hedge funds in the city.
And oh my, did he like to mess with people…
However, we’ll have to put a pin in this story for now while we wait for KB to sign off on the rest of it… stay tuned…
Episode 23: The Suicide Shift
Wall Street trading desks normally divide themselves into three time zones in New York. If you work in the US markets, you get in around 6am and leave some time after the market closes at 4pm. If you work Europe, you have to at least be watching your screens by 3am, but on the other hand you get to leave at midday.
It’s the third shift I want to talk about today - which is trading Asia. It’s a big region with diverse opening hours and some of the markets even close for lunch! But long story short, you have to be switched on for Australia at 6pm and finish up when India closes at 5am.
As you can imagine there’s all sorts of things wrong with working hours like this and for many of those reasons, we say people stuck working Asia are on... the “suicide shift”.
Now I’ve always been an early bird, so when I got into the office at my first hedge fund, I’d run into these bleary-eyed individuals and they were some of the strangest people I ever met. The first guy who gave me the time of the day was an ex-military intelligence officer from Malaysia named Kamil.
Now why on earth you’d let a former dictator’s secret policeman have the run of your office overnight while no one else was around, I couldn’t tell you. Kamil couldn’t tell you either, but I later find out he spends hours rifling through the founders’ computers, pulling up documents and even going through their trash to see what secrets they might be keeping from the rest of us.
In any case, I’m in my 20’s and desperate for some senior mentorship in the business, so I go introduce myself to Kamil when I arrive on one of my first days in the office.
Trying to make conversation, I wonder out loud how tough it must be to work such crazy hours.
Kamil says, it’s not so bad and they actually have a lot of fun overnight. He asks me if I’m a drinking man.
I say “sure, I love to drink.”
Satan- I mean Kamil responds, “Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, drink! Whiskey, rum, Guinness, wine coolers, vodka, and even tequila. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you leave at 5am and get to sleep all day!”
I’m like, "Gee that sounds great!"
Kamil goes on: "You a smoker?"
I tell him I smoke pot but not cigarettes.
Kamil seems to think that’s tip-top: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest marijuana from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get too stoned- no biggie, no one else understands these markets anyway.
He continues, "I bet you like to gamble.”
I respond that yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Kamil says, "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Dice, blackjack, poker, coinflips, whatever! If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, at the end of the year you get a great bonus to work this shift.”
This gets better and better.
Kamil inquires if I like harder drugs
My pulse quickens, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Kamil says, "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of coke or speed. Smoke a crack pipe doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want! No one comes by until after we leave, so who cares?"
I’m pretty intrigued, "Wow! I never realized the Asia shift was such a cool place! I wonder if I can transfer over here?"
Kamil glances up from his trading screen and looks up at me properly for the first time, from head to foot, then asks,
"You gay?"
"I’m not… um, I’m not gay"
[short pause]
"Ooooh, your Fridays are gonna be tough.”
Episode 24 - Dollar Bill
The most interesting thing to me about the television show Billions is not Bobby Axelrod, who is an inherently un-relatable character, but his trader, Dollar Bill.
This is because there are probably 20 Bobby Axelrods’ in the city, but twenty thousand Dollar Bill’s.
Over the next few weeks I’m going to relate short stories about some of the Bills I met.
To set the scene, one of my favorite guys back in the day was a trader named “Tow Truck”. We called him this because he actually drove a tow truck.
Tow Truck was the sort of person that populated trading floors in the early 2000’s. He used to work at Cantor Fitzgerald. Now Cantor had a lot of Dollar Bills.
And they also had a lot of Mike Wagners.
If you don’t follow the show that closely, Mike Wagner is the degenerate, fix-it guy for Bobby Axelrod. The one who can grow facial hair.
Cantor Fitzgerald had so many Mike Wagner’s, they had to stop hosting their Christmas parties at Windows of the World, because it was in the World Trade Center, and too many interns were getting banged on the trading desk a couple of floors down.
But before I continue with some of these Dollar Bill stories, you need to understand we used to divide up our social life into four categories in the aughts,
On Random Mondays the only rule was that you had to call an audible at midday, but no plans were allowed before that time. So around 12pm your inbox would fill up with suggestions of which bar to go to and we just ran with whatever plan had the most votes
The second category was made up by someone paranoid about being on broker compliance lists. It was called Off the Record Tuesdays - and the rules were simply that no one was allowed to use a corporate credit card or talk about the stock market.
Wassup Wednesdays in retrospect aren’t funny at all. Basically a bunch of retards without female supervision would drink Budweiser and just ruin everyone else's evening.
And the last category was Every Thursday.
So it was one of those Thursdays and a sales trader we know, let’s call him Major, called up one of his best clients. A big hedge fund... multi-billion-dollar, back when billion-dollar funds were rare. Someone unfamiliar picks up the phone and Major is like, “who the hell are you?”
The guy responds, [Queens accent] “I’m the new head trader, who the hell are you?”
Major introduces himself and his firm, points out they’re an important counterparty to the hedge fund, and asks if they can meet in person.
The hedge fund guy says, “Sure, take me to Metallica tonight” because they happen to be touring at Madison Square Garden then.
Anyway, Major jumps into action, calls a ticket broker, gets front row seats, and they hang out for a couple of hours.
Eventually the concert ends and they’re walking out of the Garden. And as they walk out, they see someone beating up their girlfriend on the corner of 31st and 7th.
You have to understand - while you’d be shocked to see this happening in NYC now - this sort of thing wasn’t an uncommon occurrence in 2002. At 11pm around Penn Station, weird shit was always happening to someone else back then. It wasn’t until Jeremy Lin and the MSG renovations that things calmed down a bit in that neighborhood.
So they look over at the commotion, and this guy is still slapping his girlfriend around for some no-doubt-imagined slight.
The hedge fund client yells out, “Hey tough guy. You want to beat up on someone? Beat up on me.” [aggressive]
The boyfriend doesn't have to be told twice and the two of them start wailing on each other.
Eventually the hedge fund trader picks his opponent up by the throat and slams him into the ground, prison-guard style.
This takes all the fight out of the boyfriend, but unfortunately for him, his night’s not over - the trader jumps on top of him and keeps hitting him repeatedly, while the guy’s girlfriend screams bloody murder.
Now Major still can’t believe any of this is happening during his first meeting with his biggest client. People who-didn’t-like-getting-stabbed-to-death minded their own business in New York City back then, no matter what you saw. But his client is doing a number on this guy, there are cops running towards them, women screaming... It’s a fucking shitshow.
So Major yells to his client, “you need to stop! Dude there are policemen running towards us!”
The client looks up and sees the cops. He glances down and sees this guy’s face again and just laughs and keeps punching him until the NYPD tackle him.
So turns out the client has a bunch of union cards or whatever and the police let him off and arrest the guy assaulting the woman.
And that was his 3rd day on the job at one of the biggest investment funds on Wall Street.
We’ll pull another dollar bill out next week
Episode 25 - Free Market Racketeering
There was a book I read when I first got into this business - I can’t find it on Amazon anymore but seem to recall it was called “Super Traders” - and it essentially explained each step of the investment process, by interviewing people who had reached the pinnacle of their career in each respective Wall Street job.
Now “Super Traders” is a ridiculous name for a book but so is Joel Greenblatt’s “You Can Be a Stock Market Genius”, and that’s one of the best books ever written on investing.
When you read Super Traders, you were supposed to be impressed by what each of these people did at work each day, but it had a different impression on me, even back then at such a young age. [short pause] Instead, I was just stunned to learn what an inefficient business I found myself in.
This episode is about being a sales trader, but first let’s go through a typical investment process in 2004 - remember this is some years after the Internet Crash should have led to people cleaning up their act.
Step One: Overpaid portfolio manager gets told what to buy at an investor dinner set up by someone who already owns the stock.
Step Two: Overpaid portfolio manager goes to work the next day, looks at the stock chart, and tells his buyside trader, Dollar Bill, to buy a million shares of it. Bill’s overpaid as well but doesn’t think he is and spends all day worrying about what his peers earn.
Step Three: Bill just calls whoever he went drinking with the night before and gives them the order. As he does this, he costs the firm’s investors at least $60,000 in commissions without giving it a second thought.
Step Four: The guy who picked up the phone - this is the sales trader - tells his position trader to buy the shares and then kicks some of the commission back to the sales person on the account. [short pause] All three of these people wouldn’t be out of home in a zoo.
Step Five: The position trader sends the order down to the floor or makes a market if it is a Nasdaq stock back then. Now in the interests of expediency, to see what the exchanges do with it you should listen to Episode 24. To learn about what other enormous additional costs are incurred in this process, check out Episode 17.
By 4pm, most of the time the stock heads lower, so the portfolio manager changes his mind and sells the whole thing… Setting off the whole process all over again.
Now let’s take just one of the people in this process, the sales trader, and run through a typical day for him.
Remember it’s 2004... The easy money days of the Nasdaq bubble are a distant memory, we’ve been through a recession, we just began two forever-wars although we don’t know it yet, our politics are just as poisonous as they are now. The days are long and tiring, and the business is even more relationship-driven as job cuts have rippled through the business.
5:30am: Wake up. Check Bloomberg. Ignore the Wall Street Journal and scan a new technology known as a “blog” for likely conversation topics. It’s your edge, hardly anyone else in the business is reading blogs. Go to work.
6:30am: Jump out of taxi in Midtown. Dodge aggressive homeless people on your way to office lobby. Log in. Check RSS blog feeds to see if anyone else has written someone interesting that you can steal as a conversation piece.
6:35am: Have a bagel washed down with three large black coffees. Watch new intern be bullied into eating 20 McMuffins in 20 minutes and throw up in her trash can.
7:15am: Nurse yet another coffee to try to stay awake during morning meeting, while also holding a contemptuous expression on face to show everyone who is boss. Pretend to be interested in trading ideas being pitched by more senior staff who allocate the bonus pool.
8:00am: Call clients you went out with the night before to remind them you spent a thousand dollars on dinner and disingenuously imply it was your own money that got spent at the strip club. Tell them about intern throwing up McMuffins in office.
8:01am: Sort client list by commissions year-to-date. Repeat intern story to each, starting from the top.
9:20am: Pray the phone rings or the AOL IM dings.
9:35am: Client calls and gives you an order to buy a hundred thousand GE vwap [pronounced “V-Wop”]. Yawn, enter order into system and it does the rest. VWAP stands for “Value Weighted Average Price” and is a way for all of us to discharge our responsibilities while using big-boy language to pretend our job is sophisticated.
9.36am: Start thinking about lunch.
10:00am: Copy and paste economic data into email. Look at tape. If S&P is higher, add the words “Risk-on!”, if S&P is lower type “Risk-off!”. This is what is known as “desk analysis”.
10:01am: Drink more coffee. Find busy-work for junior sales traders to do.
10am until 3pm: Try out a variety of techniques to get client attention in the hope they will have a spare order to send your way. There are hundreds of these, but here are the most common:
The Fat Finger – This is the oldest trick in the book. Just hit the phone line and say,“You ringing?” Immediately followed by “Hey, while I have you…” [Long Island accent]
The Fake Heads Up – Lob in an IM that says, “Can I call?”, “Do you have a minute?” or “When you have a second…” Then don’t call and see if they’re intrigued enough to hit you back. If they do ring back, have another sales trader pick up the phone and say you’re making an important call to another client. See if they send an order in to get your attention.
The Collections Agent – Track down what the client’s analysts have been up to and point out they really like your firm research. The buyside trader doesn’t care about anything besides the PM’s touchpoints, so he’ll never check if it’s true or not.
The Blackmail - This goes something like, “I was just thinking about that swamp donkey we heard you banging down at The Loft back in 2002… Anyway, how long you been married bro?”
The Food Stamp – “We need to get out to dinner”
The Norm – “You feel like grabbing a beer?”
The Stretch – “You cared in this name a while back…”
The Helpful Harry – “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
Helpful Harry with Capital Commitment – “It’s pretty quiet over here. Anything I can get in trouble with?”
The Stethoscope – “You guys busy?”
The Nanny – “Any difficult orders you want me to babysit, while you focus on the really difficult ones?”
The Jerry Seinfeld – Just call about nothing, it’s worth a try “Hey I got a funny story. You’re not going to believe this… I saw one of your PMs last night at Pastis and he was talking to some girl who’s sister’s uncle’s cousin is the aunt of a roommate of this guy I went to school with…. Small world – crazy right?”
The Blind-sider – Hook them with their soft spot, “So how are the kids doing?” and before they can finish, move onto, “How can we do more business ?”
By 2pm you’ve run out of political capital with all of your clients so you just sleepwalk to the close.
4pm: wait for an allocation on your GE order and pray for 6 cents per share.
4.02pm: Get paid 3 cents. Hit the bar with your company credit card and pretend it’s your money again. Drink until blackout as normal. [pause]
If you’re disgusted by what you’re hearing, remember this was all the way back in 2004 - the last person in this financial system Ponzi scheme ended up being the American public and we’ll end up giving these people nearly a trillion dollars in bailouts. [pause]
Hope that makes you feel better.
Episode 26, “Simple truths, bluntly stated”, will be released soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 26 - Simple truths, bluntly spoken.
Iceland seems like an intriguing country.
Now if you’re like most people, you’ve never given much thought to the place, other than some vague comprehension that it doesn’t get much sun and the women may be hot. But I recently heard three fascinating things about Iceland. Which in turn reminded me about one of the most interesting people I met early in my career.
The first thing I was told is that a local genius there invented one of the first dating apps, and he did it for a pretty important reason - it turns out Iceland is so sparsely populated that you need to be careful you don’t accidentally fuck your cousin during the long winter nights partying. So this guy created an app that you log your DNA into and, when you bump phones with someone, you can tell whether any potential offspring will have three heads or whatever. Cool huh?
The second random factoid about Iceland, is that it was the epicenter of the 2008 global financial crisis. As Trump would say, not many people know this.
Now the reason I understand Iceland’s role in the crisis, is I worked at one of the hedge funds that predicted the end of the credit bubble and profited massively from it. But this episode is not about me, but about one of the analysts who managed to put the pieces together and then inadvertently set the whole thing off with a bang.
Now as a trader back then I didn’t really care why I was buying, selling, shorting, or covering a investment. I just wanted to do that one job well. I didn’t know anything about the investment process, nor did I generally care what happened to the investment after I executed it. As long as the account was making money, it was of little consequence to me how they did it. But occasionally I’d get to know one of the analysts better, usually when they showed some interest in the trading desk.
In any case, we had an analyst at my shop, let’s call him Gunnar [“gun-are’] - the name Gunnar is like Smith or Gupta, but for an Icelandic guy. He wanders down to the trading desk one day and starts asking pretty good questions about what we are doing. Happy to have someone show a genuine interest in our operations, I’m explaining what adverse selection means and he suddenly says to me,
“I hear you like to drink” [slight accent - Icelandic ]
Well yes. Yes I do.
“I’ve never gone drinking with men before, will you take me with you?”
Now Gunnar was a weird person. Sometimes I’d come into the office and he’d be standing ramrod straight in the hallway, just staring at the wall, lost in thought and absolutely unresponsive. But I like weird people. So I said yes and ask him to meet me at the Spotted Pig at 6pm.
6 o’clock rolls around and we are getting after it. The fund is up 10% on the year, while everyone else is losing their shirts around us. So we have a reason to party. Gunnar matches us drink for drink and he starts to loosen up. We compliment him on his investments and he even gets uncharacteristically arrogant. By the time the two of us go outside for a cigarette he’s puffing out his chest and he starts up a conversation with an Irish guy outside. The guy asks Gunnar what he does, and Gunnar says,
“I’m a rock star”
The Irish guy looks bemused and says,
“I’m a rock star too” [Irish accent]
We go back into the bar and later on the two of them strike up a conversation again. They talk for like an hour I think, I can’t recall exactly with all the chaos around us. But as we’re leaving the bartender asks us how our Icelandic buddy knew Bono.
To this day I don’t think Gunnar knows who he was talking to.
A few months later Gunnar comes down to the trading desk and asks me what I do to stay in shape. He had suddenly decided that, since he was in his 30’s, for longevity reasons it was time to start an exercise routine.
Now I’m no Van Damme but like most traders I lift weights 4 or 5 times a week, try to watch what I eat, and do cardio on top of that. I tell him he needs to join a gym and I give him the name of a place local to his apartment.
Skip forward six months into next summer and I run into Gunnar wearing a t-shirt. The guy is ripped. I mean it’s crazy the transformation that he has undergone. If I said he has put on 25 pounds of muscle and lost 25 pounds of fat I wouldn’t be doing him justice.
I ask him how he did it and he looks at me a little confused and says he went to the gym like I told him to. [short pause] I press him for more details and he says he walked in on the first day and saw someone who looked really fit. So he went over to this gym-head and asked him what sort of exercises he was doing to be in that sort of shape. They ended up working out together for six months and that’s what happened. He says the guy’s name is Colin.
Colin Kapernick. [pause]
This guy was working out with Colin Kapernick, thinking that’s what people did at the gym. To this day these two guys are friends and I’m sure Gunnar still has no idea what Kapernick, or for that matter what the NFL, does.
So what I’m trying to impress upon you is Gunnar is a strange guy with no understanding whatsoever about how normal people conduct themselves in public.
Now before I explain how Gunnar helped blow up the world in 2008, I want to spend a minute on how Iceland was the canary in the coal mine for the financial system.
For a multitude of reasons, in 2007 Iceland had higher interest rates than the rest of the world and therefore was part of what is known as the “carry trade”. This is when traders will sell one currency with a low interest rate and buy the another that yields a higher interest rate. The difference between the two streams of income is basically free money for them… but when they bought the Icelandic currency, which is known as the Krona, they had to do something with the money of course and it ended up in the three big Icelandic banks, none of which anyone could pronounce. The Icelandic banks then took this money and invested it in illiquid assets all around the world, shoveling money into obscure financial instruments like coal into the Titanic’s boilers.
This continued until the Icelandic financial system was something like 10 times as big as the real economy there.
So in 2008, just as people are starting to get a bit nervous at all this leverage in the system, the heads of the major Icelandic banks are doing a roadshow with Lehman in NYC. A roadshow is basically when senior management from companies leave the C-Suite to pitch their overseas investors and update them on their latest company news.
We send Gunnar along to the investor lunch, almost as an afterthought. Now there was a lot of investor interest in Iceland, so there’s hundreds of hedge fund managers at this lunch which has to be expanded to 3 or 4 conference rooms with televisions set up so everyone can listen at once.
About half way through the presentation, Gunnar gets a chance to ask a question and he stands up and asks the CEO’s of these three large banks if they still believe in elves. [short pause]
You heard that right. Elves. The third thing about Iceland I want to tell you is the people who live there believe in elves… [pause] like in the Lord of the Rings. [short pause]
Whichever CEO has the microphone sort of stutters unconvincingly, but Gunnar’s not done. He asks why investors should believe anything they’re being told if the people telling it think there are elves running around their houses at night and that thirteen ugly trolls visit their children on Christmas.
It’s lost to history what the CEO has to say about this, but I gather he retorts something about Westerners still believing in Santa Claus and that the Bible was written by a bunch of dehydrated Jews wandering around in the desert.
But the damage is done. Every one of those hedge fund managers at the conference goes back and reverses their Icelandic Krona carry trade. There’s a run on the banks, which have something called “duration risk”, which means there’s a fatal mismatch between their assets and liabilities. Basically they can’t get their money out of where they’ve reinvested it.
Relative to the size of its economy, Iceland's systemic banking collapse was the largest experienced by any country in economic history. This rippled around the world, carrying out banks and investors everywhere.
And that’s the story of how a semi-autistic guy named Gunnar from Iceland blew up the world. [hard stop]
Episode 27, “Flash Crash”, will be released soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 27 - Flash Crash.
Now this episode is inevitably going to get a bit technical, but don’t worry I’m going to tie it all back into a bunch of traders getting hammered and destroying a hotel in Philly… so stick with me.
In May 2010 the market was kind of boring to be honest. At the time I worked for a big hedge fund however and at any one time was responsible for babysitting as many as 10 or 12 portfolios, some of them in the hundreds of millions. There’s two or three of us on the trading desk and I decide to go for a walk and grab coffee outside.
As I stand up, unbeknownst to me a plain-vanilla account in some flyover state enters a standard trading program. I gather he has to sell a wide variety of stocks… and to start off he hedges out his total notional short exposure with S&P contracts to protect himself as the sell program works its way out.
With the benefit of hindsight, this very-mundane everyday decision, sets off a tidal wave of selling. The numbers seem quaint in today’s world but in the 15 minutes that I’m away from the desk getting my caffeine fix, a million S&P E-Mini contracts trades. By way of context, 5.6 million contracts will trade on the entire day, 3 million traded the day before. [short pause]
While I wait for the elevator, I switch on my Blackberry and play a couple of rounds of block breaker. As I tap away at the keyboard with my thumbs, the New York Stock Exchange has detected the S&P E-Mini volatility and moved into what is known as “slow quote” mode, where they can delay acknowledging trades for up to 60 seconds. While the NYSE is only 20% of daily volume, it’s 50% of the national best bid or offer back then. When this happened, the secondary exchanges… BATS [“bats”], ARCA [“arka”], Nasdaq, and the CBOE [spell out letters]... became what’s known as the top of the book – these are non-primary markets without a mechanism to slow down in extreme volatility. [short pause]
I get out of the elevator and head over to the coffee cart on the corner. While I am ordering an espresso, high frequency trading systems realize something deadly is about to happen and just decide the best thing to do is shut down and watch for a while. Think of high frequency trading as day-trading computers that are had become the default market makers for US stock. Back then no one knew exactly how much of the daily volume these systems were and almost no one understood how the stock exchanges had prostituted out their server space so firms like Getco could gorge on institutional and retail orders all day. [short pause]
As I turn around I see some of my backoffice employees smoking cigarettes in the courtyard, so I walk over to have a chat with them. Yes, back then you would talk to people who smoked in public. Weird huh?
As I wait for them to finish up their cancer sticks, algorithmic trading all around Wall Street continues to switch itself off in panic and this exacerbates the liquidity void. [short pause]
As a group, the backoffice guys and I head back through security, laughing about how Ron Barron once shut down 5th Avenue moving a fish tank into his new offices. While we are heading back upstairs, the market is falling apart and Sell Programs that are designed to conform to what’s known as Reg NMS go ahead and hit the best bid like they’re required to. If the best price is one cent on a secondary exchange, then so be it. Stocks like Proctor and Gamble are trading down 99.9% and there’s wholesale panic everywhere. [pause]
Strolling out of the elevator I stop at reception to chat up the new girl for a while. While I tell her Stan Druckenmiller [important to check pronunciation on this name] apparently moved a neighbor’s house for him because it was blocking some fraction of his view, the market snaps violently back into place. [short pause]
I walk back to the trading desk and glance at my screens. All my stocks are trading at the same levels I left them and it’s not until some time later I find out I missed the a stock market crash while out getting coffee [medium pause]
Now let’s shift gears a bit. [short pause]
Back in 2010 people used to go to these huge trading conventions. Each would be known just by the name of the city itself. These were legitimate conferences on the surface but behind the curtain the events were actually chaos. By 4pm everyone would’ve thrown away their name tag and all hell would break loose. Imagine 400 trading monkeys with a poor ratio of intelligence to net worth, kept in a cage for 6 hours and then set loose with unlimited corporate expense accounts and you’re not far off how these things went down.
For instance there’s a story about a position trader named Large - who now works at Barstool Sports - losing his job because of Dallas Traders. God knows what went on down there and the story might be apocryphal, but after a weekend of drinking with lunatics, he supposedly flies back to the New York, goes to Doctor Scripts for a vitamin B shot, and then heads into the Citibank offices, thinking he can still pretend to work. But the fluorescent lights and noise are just too much for him and he takes off for a nap in a toilet cubicle. Now Large was a solid guy in more ways than one and he would’ve gotten away with that, but he eventually comes back to his desk and blogs about the whole thing on a site called “Take a Report”. That may seem like a crazy thing to do, but it’s just the way things worked at that time.
So, to get back on track, I attend one of these trading conferences in Philadelphia. The conference is at the Ritz Carlton and it’s been a long aggressive night drinking. There’s probably still 60 of us at the Ritz bar and I’m guessing we haven’t been good patrons. So around midnight management just shuts the bar down and turns the music off and the lights right up without warning. You’ve probably been in this situation before - when you see the people you’ve been talking to properly for the first time in hours it’s quite frankly jarring.
Now one of our crew back then, let’s call him Gary, is infuriated by this. He goes to the bar and growls at them,
[in a Gary Busey voice if possible] “You never did last call! You have to give us one more drink!”
Now management is willing to accomodate a few of us; remember we may be in Philly, but we’re at the Ritz Carlton after all. So the bar manager eventually concedes and tells him he can have one more round while people clear out.
Gary orders 40 Bud Heavies, 20 Bud Lights, 20 Mister Jack Daniels, and 80 shots to wash them down with.
Now the Ritz wants these animals out of their hotel so there’s no way he’s getting these drinks. Eventually Gary loses the argument, throws some money on the bar and says,
“fine we’re taking our business elsewhere”.
There’s still 30 or 40 us standing around, laughing at the argument and we follow him out the door into the lobby. [short pause]
Gary starts jogging. [pause]
Now Gary is a big guy, so when he spear-tackles a 5-foot vase in the middle of the Ritz reception area, he actually clears it right off the table it’s been sitting on. He hits the vase, Stone Cold Steve Austin-style, maybe expecting it to shatter, who knows.
But the vase is so big and solid it actually bounces off the floor [short pause] and Gary bounces off the vase, hitting the wall.
The staff and security run over to see what’s going on and finding Gary slumped on the ground, panic a bit. Gary opens his eyes and the concierge is like, ‘are you okay? What can we get you?’
And Gary says, “I’ll get three 12-packs of Budweiser”. [medium pause]
The rest of the night is lost to memory.
The next morning, I wake up in a hotel room and I look down and there’s shit running down my stomach. I mean actual brown, slimy, warm shit. And it’s on my skin.
Now I have what is known as a “shit intolerance” and it is visceral like you wouldn’t believe. I use entire rolls of toilet paper in the crapper to avoid any chance of getting it on my own hands and years late I won’t even change my kid’s diapers, it bothers me that much.
But I’m lying in a hotel room and I’m covered in shit and I don’t know if it’s mine or not. I’ve been drinking for god-knows-how-many-hours and I throw up a little in my mouth before literally screaming and running to the bathroom.
I turn on the shower, still gagging in horror, and am washing myself down and a gold coin falls out of my ass. [pause]
And I’m just thinking, what in God’s name happened last night?
I pick up the coin and realize it’s foil from the chocolate left on the bed by the turndown service. [pause]
And that’s all I remember about Philly Traders.
Episode 28: Letter to My Younger Self.
I don’t love football, but I follow it closely enough to recognize my life has improved since I’ve been married to a girl from Boston who grew up under The Curse of the Bambino and now proudly wears a Patriots jersey around New York City.
I also know football well enough to know who Deion Sanders is and yesterday I came across an article by him titled “Letter to My Younger Self”.
Reading it reminded me of some career advice my brother gave me some months ago. Now I’m generally happy with my job on Wall Street, but at the time I had been bouncing around various other ideas on what I should do with the rest of my life... I was too afraid to pull the trigger on them however, and this is what my brother said to me,
“Wait, you’re telling me you have to keep doing something that you decided was a good idea 15 years ago? [pause] Would you trust that guy back then? [slightly different tone, quickly]
Perhaps because it hit close to the bone, I actually thought that statement was better than anything I read from Deion Sanders - who after all used to get hit in the head a lot - so it inspired me to finish a riff I have on a book by Jordan Peterson called “12 Rules for Life”.
Now if you haven’t heard Episode 14 “Twelve Rules for Life on Wall Street”, you should listen to that before you continue. Episode 14 is my longest podcast, but that still only makes it about 8 minutes.
Go on. I’ll still be here when you come back [pause]
Anyway, to pick up where we left off...
Rule Number 7 - Do what you are asked to do at work, not what you think you ought to do.
As Leonard Lauder says; don’t add pages of data to prove your point. Summarize the data so your boss doesn’t have to. Don’t change the assignment. Give your boss what he or she asked for, and your life will be simple.
Similarly, when asked a direct question, answer, “Yes”, ‘No”, or “I don’t know, but will find out”.
Rule Number 8 - Honesty really is the best policy.
Outside of the moral reasons for being honest, the most important downside to lying is that when things get complicated, you won’t be able to remember all the bullshit you told.
The truth will set you free. If you are always honest, only your memory can be questioned and never your integrity.
Rule Number 9 - Don’t rush.
Speed can be important and responding quickly is often appreciated.
But trust me on this, no one will remember how fast you did something, only how well you did it.
Rule Number 10: You have more than one job .
Lauder says this one so well that I’m just going to use his words; You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child. You may have to be a husband, wife, father, mother, a son, a daughter, a nurse or a nursemaid during your lifetime. If you fail at any of these jobs, success in the others will be meaningless. You don’t have to cure cancer to be a success. Being a good citizen, a good parent, a good friend, a productive and charitable member of society is all most of us can hope for.
And remarkably few people achieve this.
Rule Number 11 - Don’t walk in front of taxis in New York, because the city insures them.
This one is self-explanatory for urban people, but for the rest of you deplorables, allow me to elaborate. If you cross the street to hail a cab in New York, you will get run over.
Instead you need to put your hand in the air and yell “taxi” until they u-turn. We’re still old fashioned, it’s how we don’t die here. Likewise, on the streets please walk on the left and stand to the right.
Rule Number 12 - Bike everywhere you can, even if you don’t have a helmet.
This is a bit counter-intuitive, so stick with me... A few days ago I took my kids - whom I refer to collectively as “the dreamkillers” - sledding, and around an hour later this guy turns up with his kids and they all have helmets on.
Now admittedly, their sled looked like it belonged in the winter olympics and two people could fit on it. But remember we’re in Manhattan and there aren’t many steep hills on islands.
While in general the world has become safer by almost every meaningful metric, social media appears to have informed people over the prior decade that the world is less safe. This is clearly not the case and if you want to send your young daughter to go to the corner store by herself to get milk, she should keep trying, until she gets there and brings it back to you. If people ask you why you she’s walking around by herself, tell them you taught her to do so.
So, not only do I not regularly wear a helmet when I bike - I don’t think kids should sled with helmets either. And this is why;
Doing rudimentary tasks builds confidence.
Looking back at my life I would say that having courage can be every bit advantageous as being cautious. Probably, it’s more important. [short pause]
A couple of years ago 17 people died on bikes in New York... So what? I’m sure every one of these deaths is tragic to the people who knew them, but remember these are New Yorkers we are talking about. [pause]. Bike fatalities almost doubled in 2018 but that’s still a low absolute number in a city of millions.
By wearing a helmet every day you’re telling yourself the world is dangerous, when by almost every objective measure the world is safer now than it ever has been. More to the point, you’re not addressing any of the real problems you face.
Many of the people gripped by bike helmet and other social hysteria drive around in cars every day - even though the chances of being killed in a car accident in the US are 1 in 88 compared with 1 in 5,000 odds of dying in a bike crash.
If you’re interested in this sort of stuff, you should read the book "Risk" by David Ropeik. Within it he lists the lifetime odds of what’s really likely to snuff you out; Heart disease has a one in 4 chance of killing you. Cancer, one in 7, Alzheimer's, one in 75. There’s one in 240 odds of dying in a homicide. One in 4,000 odds of electrocution. Hell, even trains are more dangerous than biking at one in 4,800. [pause]
So put down the donut, and don’t sweat the bike helmet. [pause]
That went quick, so we’re going to finish up with a random story… I just came back from Florida and discovered why exactly that state has the highest concentration of addicts per square foot and the methadone clinics are for-profit enterprises.
I’m four days into my holiday somewhere outside Miami and went to the local Walgreens. Now if you haven’t been to a Walgreens in Florida before the sun comes up in the morning... just think about those People-of-WalMart emails that used to circulate and you’re not far off what I was experiencing.
So I’m dodging degenerates there to find Flintstones-chewable-morphine for one of my kids and a pair of nail clippers for myself and in no time I find myself at the counter and I look to either side at the white trash and I wonder how I can possibly get out of here faster. [pause]
There’s only two clerks working this early.
The customer at the register on the left is clearly not planning on buying anything, just desperate for human interaction, and the clerk knows it. But he keeps pulling shit out of his basket and recalling teenage glory-day stories until he pretends he forgot his wallet and runs off. I look over to the right and the clerk there is fielding questions by some redneck about which countries need the $3 plastic power converters they sell up the front and speculating why the Europeans would use a different electricity system than us, since we invented it in the first place and America always knows best.
Eventually I get out of there and decide to kill some time by clipping my nails. This may seem like a strange thing to do in public but nail length is a neurosis I have and it was one of the reasons I agreed to go to Walgreens in the first place.
So I’m sitting outside and almost immediately a cop car swings by and they ask how I’m doing and where I think I’m sleeping tonight.
I’m a bit confused that they are taking the time to question me. There’s all this white trash around and drug addicts and scumbags… why stop me?
But then I look down at myself… I haven’t shaved in 8 days and I’m sitting on a piece of driftwood, outside a Walgreens in Florida at 6am on a Sunday, clipping my nails in my underwear. [short pause]
Florida is Alabama by the sea and eventually it will consume us all.
Episode 28 - The ASPCA Charity Bash
A quick additional disclaimer before we proceed.
As I’ve made clear in earlier podcasts, most of the time these stories are about my experiences in NYC. Alternatively I believe them to be as a reasonably accurate summation of events that, after all, took place a decade ago. I take these stories, make the characters composites, and then always change the names of the people and locations to ensure privacy.
However, this episode is a bit different.
Firstly the the fundraiser itself is a real thing - Barry Diller and the ASPCA have hosted many, many parties at the Interactive offices. If you’re familiar with New York, we’re talking about the odd-looking building that looks like an iceberg on the West Side Highway. As far as I know, the charity is still going strong there. I hope so and wish them the best.
Secondly, while I’m changing the names of the protagonists as I always do, I’m not just amending nicknames or inventing new ones. Instead in this episode I’m using the names of real people on Wall Street. That’s not to say they were actually there - they almost certainly were not. Instead they’re just various persons I pulled off of Bloomberg. If they have any problem with the way that their names are being used they should take it up with their parents, not me.
[medium pause]
Anyway, let’s get after it.
It’s 2010 and a sales trader friend of mine, Matthew Wank [deadpan all funny names] invited me to a charity function on a Thursday night. He can’t talk up this fundraiser enough. It’s a dog charity, popular with the New York fashion set, and most of Wall Street hasn’t cottoned onto it yet. Secondly, not only is it down in the Meatpacking District - which is taking off as a new location in the city - but it’s at the IACI [spell out letters] offices which is supposed to be a really cool space. Back then we went out every Thursday anyway, so I have a broker buy me a ticket and arrange to meet people at a local bar called The Park on 18th Street.
I walk into The Park and see my friend Jack Labia with a bunch of his clients. Jack is an interesting character… the sort of sales person who made a lot of money not knowing a lot. He was enthusiastic and entertaining and would give you the shirt off his back. He’s an old school trader who has managed to reinvent himself covering quant funds.
Now quants generally love computers of course, but have genuine struggles dealing with people in person… but they knew what they were getting with Jack, which is the best sort of sales person you can work with.
The other thing you should know about Jack is he will take a lot of pills, a lot of the time. Jack had also been in an accident recently and just came out of surgery... He stands up to greet me with a cane in one hand and a martini in the other.
Jack hobbles over to me and explains he just got out of the hospital 24 hours ago and look at all the cool pills they gave him!!! He’s bubbling with plans and enthusiasm, moving fast but slowly going mad, still early in his evening’s journey into madness.
He looks disappointed when I only take two of the tablets, even though half the bottle appears to be already gone. The pills are as big as horse tranquilizers and stick in my throat a little as I swallow them dry.
We walk over to the table and there are 6 clients there already. All six are Asian or Indian kids, every one of them looking just as uncomfortable as you’d expect a young quant analyst in a hot restaurant to look like back then. Jack makes introductions,
[Long Island accent] “Hey so these are my clients, Alexandra Sukmawati [short pause], Fukky Tantang [short pause], Mami Takenoshita [short pause], Chetan Dikshit [short pause], Fu Kin Wanka [short pause], and this lovely young lady is Vanilla Dong. Everyone, this is Chris Fister and he works on the buyside as well.”
I sit down at the table and note the lack of drinking by anyone outside of Jack who already has 3 empty martini glasses in front of him. The service here is excellent and I already have a couple of gimlets coming my way, but Jack has a weird thing where, if he’s decided it’s going to be a big drinking night, he won’t let anyone take away his empties.
Now sitting at social events with quants is a double-edged sword. On one hand most of the conversation can be uncomfortable because you just have nothing in common with these people, but on the other hand they’re all really smart, unlike most of the monkeys in our business, so if you engage them you might just learn something. I stay as long as I can before I get antsy and say goodbye. By this stage there are six martini glasses in front of Jack and he’s moved onto Doctor Jim Beam. We haven’t seen the last of him though.
Across the restaurant I spot another sales trader I know and decide to use it as an excuse to get another free drink. I forget his surname but can recall he works at ABN and it looks like he’s entertaining a bunch of of European hedge funds who must be on a New York boondoggle. So I walk over there and introduce myself:
[me] “Gustavo right?
[in a Dutch accent] “Chris! Good to see you again. Yes, I am Gustavo from ABN. Gustavo Cunto.”
“Mind if I join you? I’m just here for another 30 minutes and then off to the ASPCA party around the corner”
[Gustavo] “We are also being [sic] at the ASPCA! Yes, join us. Meet my clients from Man Group. This is Gerhard Spanka [short pause], Oakim Kunstlicher [short pause], Fabienne Cretin [short pause], Dario Diklic [short pause], Donna Bumgardner [short pause], and Ludger Poos who works at Brevan Howard.
Coming from a table of quants it’s an enormous relief to hang out with some European traders, particularly since their markets aren’t saturated with algos like ours and most of them are a little old school and still know how to use a telephone like myself. We swap some stories about trading in Amsterdam, and while I down a few more beers a strange warm feeling comes over me.
It takes me another beer to realize it, but the two pills I took from Ross at the start of the night must be kicking in early. I wonder vaguely what they were and, given the severity of his accident, whether I should have pocketed one of them until I found out.
Well, too late now.
The warm feeling fades into mild unease and I recognize the telltale signs of a manic phase coming on. I’m still chatting to the European traders but my left hand is shaking almost imperceptibly, ideas and feelings are quickly rising within me, and suddenly the room is in total focus. Tables that were a blur of color in my peripheral vision become clear and distinct. I can follow 20 conversations all at once at 10 different tables. Now 10 conversations at 5 different tables. Then 3 conversations at 2 different tables. Now I’m totally focused on a single table at the end of the room. I recognize a senior executive from Knight named David, with several of his traders sitting around watching him.
Without a goodbye or a glance back at the Europeans, I bounce over there to talk to them,
[me, very quick] “Hi guys, sorry for interrupting but I believe we’ve meet? David, right?”
[David, Brooklyn accent, slowly] “Ah hi Chris. Yes, David Moron from Knight. We met at Philly traders. Sit down and join us.”
[me, quickly] “Sure, I can stay for one beer but then I gotta hop to this ASPCA party around the corner”
[David, slowly] “Great, we’re going to the Diller thing too. Let me introduce you to my colleagues. This is Edward Tittman [short pause], Karen Asola, [short pause], Yu Arafuka [short pause], Dik Blewitt [short pause], Chris Hardick [short pause], and our head of algorithmic trading Anil Banger.
A couple of years from now Anil Banger will be running a pilot program simulation for the NYSE [spell out letters] and an errant server at Knight will send out $7 billion in trades and lose them 440 million dollars in 45 minutes. Goldman will step in and buy the risk. Jefferies will keep their lights on for 48 hours more. And eventually Getco will buy the firm for the data. But for the moment none of the Knight traders know they’re going to be replaced by robots and I chat with the dead men enthusiastically.
Mid-conversation my buzz begins to fade. It’s been almost two hours and it feels like only [add time stamp of where we are in podcast, ie: “5 minutes and 22 seconds”] has passed since I walked in here. Overwhelming confusion replaces absolute clarity. Humor and a ready sharp retort have been replaced by insecurity and, yes, fear… Was that a smile or a grimace from the Knight guy opposite me?
I can’t humiliate myself in front of this third-tier firm, I need to find Jack to get some more of those pills to get this night back on track.
Suddenly there is a crash and a scream at the entrance. I use the distraction to escape the table and make my way over there. Someone has passed out at the front door and the doorman yells for a doctor.
I see Jack limp through the crowd while downing a handful of his pills like they were cheetos. My heart sinks as he throws the empty prescription bottle to one side, but I am transfixed by the scene as he staggers up to the woman who is unconscious in the doorman’s arms. He yells out,
“Back up, back up... I’m a doctor!”
[pause] Jack is not a doctor. [pause]
She quickly comes to and is all confused. Jack introduces himself as Doctor Labia and is asking her all sorts of BS questions about her health. [short pause]
Meantime someone calls 911 and the cops happened to be literally right outside. They come to check on her while waiting for an ambulance.
They learn that Jack is a doctor and ask ‘Doc, what’s going on with her.’ Jack looks up and says ‘I’m pretty sure she passed out’ [slurred]
[pause] The cops realize he’s either a hammered doctor or not a doctor at all, so ask him to back up and give them some space while they talk to the lady.
Bear in mind that he’s kneeling down, with a cane and a newly repaired knee. So, getting up looks more like a jungle fight than anything a normal person would do.
He finally gets up and is instantly bored, so he starts using his cane to poke at one of the cop’s guns.
Tap. [pause]
Tap-tap. [quickly, “taptap”]
After a few more of these, the cop looks and says ‘Doc, can I help you’ in a super-pissed off tone. Now Jack has tapped the gun no less than 8 or 9 times.
With an angelic, genuine, reasonable facial expression and a nod, Jack asks
‘Can I hold your gun?’ [pause]
The cop looks at him aghast. Jack puts his hands up in the air.
“but I won’t shoot it… promise.”
We bail Jack out of the restaurant and begin the long walk northwest to the Interactive Building, which is a block away. [pause]
It’s 7pm. [hard stop]
Episode 29, “Barbarian Days”
This episode is the sequel to Episode 28, so let’s quickly recap where we left off; I’ve found myself in a herd of clowns out on a Thursday night and we’re on our way to an ASPCA fundraiser at the Interactive offices, which is the Barry Diller building that looks like an iceberg on the Westside Highway. We just bailed out of a local bar called “The Park” in the Meatpacking District to get away from the NYPD and begin walking over to the fundraiser.
On the way over there I get separated from the guys I arrived with and find myself with two very different personalities. Both need a little introduction, so bear with me, we’ll get to the ASPCA party itself shortly.
The first was a delta one trader from a bulge bracket firm. He was a tough Staten Island guy nicknamed “Soup”. When I say tough, I mean this guy was an ox - I’d take him over Ray Donovan any day of the week. He was originally a bookie and on the side he’d hurt people who needed to be hurt for the local authorities. And by local authorities I’m referring to the Italians, not the shitty Irish mob.
Legend has it Soup did time in Rikers and when he was about to be released into general population, he’s in processing with three other guys - one was a wiseguy like him and the other two were African American guys. The four of them were strategizing how to survive and he impresses on the two black guys it’s important to make a stand against the other inmates immediately. So he tells them,
“First thing you do, go find the toughest negro in here and bring him over to me” [Italian tough guy voice]
Later that day they bring the resident thug over in the recreation yard and Soup promptly houses him. A huge fight kicks off with the two new black guys fighting alongside Soup and the 4th inmate against the existing residents. Maybe the whole thing was an urban myth, but you get the picture that Soup is the kind of guy who you’d have to shoot if you wanted to hurt him.
The other person with me was an Antipodean we’ll call Knuckles. Now he worked for one of the biggest hedge funds in the world. Even if you’re not in finance, trust me you’d have heard of the founder. But this guy used to be a carpenter before he was on Wall Street and he’d be more at home in a Queens public house than alongside the rarified Manhattan set.
The three of us get on pretty well and as we head into the Interactive Building fundraiser, we’re quickly surrounded by well-dressed, beautiful women and equally well-behaved, sophisticated males. I find the Interactive offices as incredible as people told me they would be - We’re only allowed access to the lobby and the first floor, but the walls are covered in what I assume is the best art money can buy, there are antiques everywhere you look, and all sorts of paraphernalia that Barry Diller has collected from over the world. The centerpiece is a giant carved wooden Indian. It’s not quite a totem pole but it towers over the event like an ancient god observing some sort of bacchanal.
We line up and make our way to reception with our tickets to be checked in and when we’re up the front the woman checking tickets rolls her eyes at Knuckles and asks which of us is going to be responsible for him. This seems very odd until Knuckles happily explains to me he’s been thrown out of the event two out of the past three years. He promises to behave but I still think it’s wiser to quickly lose him in the crowd, and fortunately soon find other colleagues to talk to at the bar.
The party itself is everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s for a good cause, the attendees are friendly to a person, the open bar is top shelf, and the music is great. Two or three hours pass enjoyably, until one of my friends points out Bradley Cooper’s wife at the bar talking to Knuckles. Intrigued, we make our way over there to join them. As we approach, Knuckles gets up out of his seat next to her and states,
[Australian accent, laughingly] “You know, you’re hot, but this conversation is mediocre”
Then he sees us and says,
[Aussi accent] “Gidday guys. Bloody oath, I’m getting a bit legless and it’s time to cause some drama”
Let me translate. [pause, slowly] In Australian, that means 1) he’s drunk and 2) it’s time to get in a fight.
Knuckles looks over our shoulder and he sees Soup, who you should remember is the Staten Island guy we walked over to the party with. Soup has met one of his regular girlfriends, something he refers to as “a repeater”. She’s a ballet dancer or something and Soup is holding her way up in the air, her legs are wrapped around him, and the two of them are making out like a couple of teenagers first in love. Knuckles frowns, and yells,
[Aussi] “Crickey, that drongo is being a bit iffy with a PDA [spell out letters] like that. I’m going to go sort him out”
Which in Australian that means 1) public displays of affection are inappropriate in a venue like this and 2) he’s going to go tell him so.
Knuckles rolls over there and Soup sees him coming, puts his repeater down on the ground, and greets Knuckles by offering him one of the beers he has set up on the table. Knuckles slaps it out of his hand and it shatters against the wall.
Soup looks at Knuckles. Knuckles looks at Soup. Knuckles is smiling. Soup is frowning.
They exchange a couple of words and then Soup decides it’s time to take Knuckles to the cleaners. However Soup hasn’t been in a proper fight for 2 or 3 years and, as goes to take Knuckles’ head off with a punch, he loses his balance and falls right through one of the stylish, antique tables that have been tastefully placed around the function with ASPCA fliers on them. Knuckles sees him hit on the ground, double taps his forearm like Macho Man Randy Savage and drops a WWF elbow on his back. The two of them are rolling around like a bunch of idiots in the shattered remains of the table for a while until the doormen restrain them. Normally they’d be thrown right out, but security have a bit of a problem - if they let them go and the table is some sort of heirloom or something, there needs to be consequences. So they hold onto the two of them underneath the big Indian statue by the door, while someone gets Barry Diller on the phone.
Now Barry Diller is worth 4 billion dollars. He doesn’t know or care which guests are at his function or how many tables there are in his lobby. Eventually, the manager relays his message to Soup that he has to pay $350 for the table.
Soup says, “Sold!” then he snatches the phone off the guy and says,
[Staten Island, arrogant] “Hey Diller, how much for the Wooden Indian?”
Episode 30, “Robbie Stephens”, will be released soon. Please subscribe to listen.
Episode 30, “Robbie, Colman, Stephens & Woodman”
Last week I went to breakfast with a former colleague of mine. He’s a derivatives trader at a bulge-bracket firm that I’ve known since at least 2003; so between the two of us we’ve experienced a fair amount of volatility, both in and out of the office. We hadn’t seen each other in person for a few years and our conversation was typical middle-aged executive trope - it was fascinating to catch up, but if you’re a kid in your 20’s, you’d rather eat glass than listen to us.
Anyway the check comes and I offer to pay with cash because it’s unclear whether this is a business or personal meeting. We’re at a shitty Midtown diner, so it doesn’t matter to me one way or another.
But he insists on putting it on the corporate card. We go up the front to pay and there’s a delay because he needs an itemized receipt for the $30 or whatever we spent and the woman needs to go out the back to get it printed. It’s probably a typical New York morning scene that most of you would recognize right? [pause]
Well I’m telling you this is a million miles away from how business on Wall Street used to be done.
The following podcast is about the sort of cash that banks used to spend on clients, how I lost $250,000 of my own money in 24 hours, and where you can stick that itemized receipt.
It’s 2002, I work at a brokerage firm called Robbie Stephens. Back then I’m a junior guy; so poor compared to my peers I used to play my boss in darts to make ends meet.
Now, when fact checking this podcast, I was surprised to discover Robbie Stephens still exists today as a wealth management company. But this is back when it was owned by Fleet and was a proper broker dealer. And it was a real firm back then - we brought the Amgen and Intel IPOs for instance. I remember clients would call my boss desperate to get on our syndicate calendar, which is how we allocated deals - he’d tell them you have to do a minimum of $400k in commissions before we’d even have a conversation with you.
So one Friday morning my boss is off the desk and the outside line rings. I pick it up and the conversation goes something like this,
[LI accent] “Hey, what’s up it’s Vinnie from Slatwater Capital. We’re a Galleon spinoff. How do I get on your syndicate list?”
[Me]: “Hi Vinnie, I’m sorry my boss is off the desk and I can’t open new accounts yet.”
[Vinnie]: Okay, so what would your boss tell me if he was here?
[Me]: He’d say you have to do 400 thousand in commissions before we’d even talk to you.
[Vinnie]: Fine, cross 100 thousand Texas Instruments, put $2 a side on it, and then let’s go out for a drink this weekend.
Now let’s unpack that conversation a bit.
Back in those days, a hedge fund might give you an order to buy shares in the market - you’d either work the order in the open market to get them the best price you could, which is known as “agency trading”, or sell them the shares out of your own book which is “principal trading”. Generally NYSE stocks were traded agency and Nasdaq stocks principal. Either way you’d put 6 cents commission on it. If you traded 100,000 Texan, 6 cents got you 6 thousand dollars.
What Vinnie was telling me to do was print 100,000 on the buy and the sell side. Then put $2 per share on it. Instead of 6 thousand dollars, he was paying us almost half a million - in a single transaction.
I call him back with the execution price, but of course he doesn’t care about that because he’s buying and selling the shares at the same price. No one has any risk in the transaction. It’s not even illegal to trade this way back then. [pause]
We make plans to meet for beers after the close.
My boss gets back to the desk and I excitedly tell him about what happened. He just shrugs his shoulders and says good job but that he bets I’ll fuck up the relationship when the trader meets me in person.
I realize I need to play my cards very carefully. [pause]
1pm rolls by and I go to meet Vinnie at a local bar. I’m wearing a suit. He’s wearing a T-shirt that says in bold letters,
“If you can’t eat it, drink it, smoke it or snort it - then fuck it.”
Vinnie tells me he got his start in the business by borrowing 500 thousand of his father’s money and putting it into a 10-to-1 leveraged day-trading firm. He promptly lost $3 million of it in 48 hours and someone at the hedge fund Galleon was so impressed at the balls on him, they hired him as a trader. Slatwater Capital is a spinoff from Galleon and they pay tons of commissions to the Street and just trade on whatever information edge they can get their hands on.
Then Vinnie asks me if I want to go to Vegas with his crew. I’m like sure, let me know when… [short pause] and he says, this afternoon.
Now, today if someone asks me to do anything, let alone Vegas, with less than two weeks notice, I wouldn’t even dignify them with a response. Even a month out I need check my calendar and then still have to get permission from at least 4 members of my family. But back then I’m a 26-year-old redneck from Oregon who has just moved to San Francisco. [pause]
Four hours later we’re at the Mandalay Bay. We walk into the hotel room and there are 20 traders in there, 10-foot lines of blow, hookers everywhere, and a personal security guard named Truck passes us a goodie bag on the way in with god-knows-what inside it.
I’ll spare you the Vegas stories, because, while I’m a 26-year-old trader working for a prestigious firm, I also had a serious girlfriend at the time and I’m not a cocaine guy. I consider marijuana a magic potion that makes everything the person across from me says sound interesting - I don’t see how you can improve on that and to this day just don’t have any interest in coke.
I keep my nose clean, but all sorts of depravity is happening all around me of course.
Towards the end of the first night I beg off contributing to one of the nightclub bills by pointing out I’m just an assistant trader and promising I’ll pick up the pool cabana instead.
So fast forward and it’s 7am on a Sunday and my turn to pick up some expenses. I grab a couple of cabanas in a prime spot by the pool and Vinnie is the first of the 20-odd clients to arrive. He corners the waitress and orders 2 bottles of Jack, a case of beer, chicken fingers.
More people arrive. I don’t recognize half of them, but they’re all drinking on my tab. This repeats every hour and a half until 5pm, when we stumble back to the airport and head home.
I try to run out on the bill, but it ends up being delivered to us by valet in the airport… [short pause] and it’s $18,000 [medium pause]
I’m terrified.
I get back to work and submit my expense report into one of the new computer systems we’ve been forced to use ever since the market took its tumble.
The phone rings five minutes later and it’s compliance. A minute later I’m in my boss’s office.
He asks me what the hell I was thinking and which clients were there. I’m like, I hung out with traders from Pequot, Fidelity, Galleon, Amaranth, Dillon Reade, Avenue, Fortress…
He interrupts me and says, [short pause] Number 1. You never, ever, ever itemize a bill. [short pause] Number 2. he’d better get an invite next time. [medium pause]
Now there’s a little postscript to this story…
After this weekend in Vegas, one of the brokers who’d flown in the East Coast hedgefunds, calls me up and says he liked how I handled myself there. He says they’re opening a New York office and would I like to move over and head up the desk. A hand-delivered offering letter for $300,000 is on its way to me.
By this stage the barbarian days on Wall Street have temporarily run their course, my firm Robbie Stephens has gotten itself into trouble alongside the early 2000’s recession, the tech IPO calendar has run dry, accounting scandals at Enron and Worldcom have corporates on the defensive. An offer from a New York firm with a solid investment banking division and substantial retail operation looks pretty attractive. The money is many times what I’d make in a good year at Robbie Stephens.
But it’s a big decision. I’d be leaving my girlfriend and family, moving over to the other side of America… I ask him for a night to sleep on it.
Overnight, Robbie Stephens shut down. The parent company, Fleet, comes in and just closes the whole operation and shows us the door.
It’s the talk of Wall Street.
I’ve fucked up and I know it. I wait a respectful time period and then call up the broker who had offered me the New York job and just tell him, I’m so sorry I walked away from that offer. He says he understands and I’ll always have a seat at his firm.
I’m like, great I’ll sign and he should send the letter back.
He replies, I said you had a seat, I didn’t say that job was still available.
And that’s how I lost 250 thousand dollars in 24 hours. [medium pause]
If you’re looking for a lesson in this, take it from me, [short pause] if you’re dealt a good hand in life, just not screwing it up is a talent. [hard stop]
Episode 31, “Saint Jude”, will be released soon. Please subscribe to listen
Episode 31, “Saint Jude”
This story gets started all the way back in 2000 and is about a woman who was known as the “Mother of Teresa of Wall Street”
In part, this was because she could get your daughter into any school you wanted her to attend. Unlike Jack Grubman at Citibank, or these latest dimwits in the press today, she wasn’t going to get caught doing it either. We’ll get into the other reasons people called her that after a short digression to set context.
If you’re listening to this podcast on SoundCloud or Spotify, I want you to pause and take a look at the graphic that accompanies the episode.
The iTunes RSS feed doesn’t reflect individual episode graphics, so I’ll describe it as well… what this chart shows is that in a single generation, young men have gone from 61 percent of college recipients to a projected 39 percent; young women from 39 percent to a projected 61 percent.
I bring this up not to reflect on the “challenges” that men face in the present day - something I address at length in Episode 16 - but instead to point out the issues that our Mother Teresa faced when she was in university. She was old enough that when she went to college people used to joke that she was there to get her M.R.S. [spell out letters] - M.R.S isn’t a degree but the implication that women only went to college to get a husband, to become a “Mrs” or a married woman.
And those numbers are positively cheerful compared to women in executive finance positions back in the year 2000. The air was thin up there, let’s just put it that way.
But through sheer grit and a certain amount of luck, Mother Teresa had risen all the way to become head trader of a multi-billion dollar fund. Back then my guess is there were maybe 5 women in a position like hers.
Now 2000 was a long time ago. But we’re briefly going to go back even further… in 1999 I used to work at an Outback Steakhouse as a busboy. No shit. Cleaning tables in Houston alongside a bunch of Mexican kids.
Mother Teresa used to fly down to Houston with people from her fund because a lot of the money they ran was Texas oil and real estate. They were all really nice and one night I saw her leave her business card in one of the giant fish bowls that they left out for free margaritas or whatever. I grabbed it and called her to tell her she’d won the happy hour that Friday and then asked her for a job on the phone call. She was so impressed at the balls on me and desperate for talent, she gave me a job right over the phone.
I ask her if I should start in a month or so and she says I need to be there Monday.
I’d never been to New York before, knew no one in the tri-state area, didn’t have a clue where I’d even stay. She says don’t worry about it, that they’ll put me up in a nice hotel until I can find an apartment.
Nine months later I’m still living in the hotel and my job during the day is to run around the trading desk picking up pink and white trade tickets when the traders were done with them. I’d take these tickets - pink were for sales, white for buys - time stamp them, rip off the carbon copies and run them down to accounting on another floor. [short pause] Such was technology back then.
One of my other jobs was to deal with Mother Teresa’s PA [spell out]. Now if you’re not familiar with the term, PA stands for “personal account”. On reflection, jobs on Wall Street back then were really just seats where you could trade your PA and ride the Internet Boom.
Mother Teresa’s PA used to come in by fax. Now to be clear, we had email back then, you could even sometimes trade electronically using Schwab or a place called Datek. But Mother Teresa had an old-school Texas retail broker handling her money and that’s how they used to send her portfolio. This thing would whirl and clunk and by the time all her positions were reported the paper would be down on the ground; so like 5 feet of Nasdaq stocks and all 10,000-share positions. Her PA would be the 13F of a decent sized hedge fund now.
It’s February 2000 and I bring her 5-foot-long faxed portfolio over to the desk. I try to make conversation by asking about one of her investments and she stares at me for an unnerving amount of time before responding, [long pause]
[female Texas accent] “You know what junior? I don’t even know what any of these companies do. I’m gonna sell them all.”
She gets her broker on the phone, sells the whole stock portfolio and rolls all the money into Long Island real estate and municipal bonds paying 15% tax free.
So skip forward a couple of years, the Nasdaq has crashed, the country is under siege from terrorism and our own incompetence, but Mother Teresa is living large. She decides she’s not doing enough to help out other people and gets it into her head that she’s going to use her considerable influence to help out what is then a little-known children’s cancer charity.
With her reputation behind it, the fundraiser gets pretty popular and one evening she decides to host a poker night to raise money. This event is going to be a big deal so the fund flies in people from all over the country, including one of the portfolio managers we used to call “The Wizard”. [pause]
Now I’d never met the Wizard before but it falls on myself and the other young guys on the desk to entertain him while he’s in New York. He arrives in the office and he’s a lot younger than I expected, probably mid-30s, short guy, big nose.
4pm rolls around and the stock market closes - we have around 2 hours before the charity gig officially kicks off. The Wizard wants to know what the strip clubs are like in New York and whether it was true they were topless only and you couldn’t actually touch the girls. He says, if that ends up being true, that he has a backup plan for us.
I’m impressed. This guy has done his due diligence on strip clubs before he’d even arrived in the city! He had a backup plan in case the girls wouldn’t let him touch their boobs.
Whatever that plan was, I was going to be a part of it.
So we take off to the local strip clubs and begin to drink heavily. Flash Dancers is around the corner from our office, so that’s our first stop.
And sure enough the strippers won’t let the Wizard touch them. They tell him he can have whatever he wants if he goes to the private room, but otherwise it’s hands off. Every girl who says that to him he drops a C-Note to and says just stick around and talk to us, they won’t regret it.
Eventually there are 10 girls around our tables, all happy to be $100 ahead before 5pm. The concierge is also there chatting away with us and he’s a thousand dollars richer as well if I had to venture a guess. But then the Wizard asks if he can “borrow the girls for a few hours” - he promises to have them back before 10pm when the club gets busy. They argue a bit and the concierge accepts a few more hundred dollar notes but eventually says, yes, that 2 of the girls can come outside with us. We head outside and the Wizard has hired a van that’s waiting with two huge security guards driving it. It’s packed with beer and the windows are blacked out, there’s even a stripper pole in the back.
It’s a stripper van.
So long-fun-story, made short-and-boring… we repeat this at like 5 more clubs. The van even stops at HQ on the Westside Highway and that place really was a shithole for degenerates back then. We’re driving around with the strippers, drinking beer and whisky straight from the bottle, and the Wizard is putting coke up his massive nose quacking like a duck and everyone is laughing, and eventually we turn up at Mother Teresa’s children’s cancer charity.
The whole circus piles out of the stripper van, 5 or 6 traders and 10 girls. Spilling out into the reception area, everyone around us is in a tuxedo or a ball dress of some sort. We’re a bunch of monkeys wearing Patagonia vests covered in glitter and one of our girls has live goldfish swimming around in her high heels.
The event is incredible. Mother Teresa finds me playing poker at a table and drops a pile of chips in my lap before walking off and doing the same for her other traders. This was basically her way of laundering money for her guys - go to a casino and give out chips like it was play money. Which for her it was of course.
[pause] Do you know what it feels like to be 26 and to walk around with two girls on your arm and a bunch of poker chips in your pocket worth thousands of dollars? Well, I’m telling you, I wouldn’t trade those days with anyone, it felt like the world could be mine and the possibilities were not linear but endless.
Then the Wizard goes into the bathroom with one of the strippers and comes out 30 minutes later wearing her dress.
Now if that happened today, he’d be a dead man, you couldn’t save him, no one would be able to do anything about it. Everyone has cameras on their pockets, social media is ubiquitous. It’d be on the front cover of the New York Post in minutes.
But back then, such was the power of Mother Teresa, that the whole story disappeared.
Episode 32 - Gilt by association.
Some years ago a Wall Street investor named Howard used to host regular drinks with several other colleagues in the business. They’d head off to a bar called Lot 61 on Tuesdays and between them they’d always spend around $1,000. The idea behind the evening was to split the bill in roughly the same way we pay our taxes in this country. So it went something like this;
The first four men, who were NYSE floor traders, paid nothing
The fifth person, an associate at a bulge bracket bank, paid only $10
The sixth, an equity analyst, paid $30
The seventh, who was a buy-side trader, paid $70
The eighth, in sales research, paid $120
The ninth, a senior sales trader, paid $180
And Howard, as the CIO of a prominent hedge fund, paid $590
The ten men drank at Lot 61 each week and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until one day the owner offered to reduce the cost of their bar tab by $200. Drinks for the ten men would now only cost $800.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first few men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six? How would they divide up the $200 discount so everyone would get their fair share? They argued over this for a while and eventually the bar owner intervened and said each bill should be reduced depending on how wealthy each of them was. The new arrangement was as follows:
Now five men, instead of the original four, paid nothing
The sixth paid $20 instead of $30 for 33% savings.
The seventh paid $50 instead of $70, saving 29%
The eighth paid $90 instead of 120, saving 25%
The ninth paid $140 instead of $180, claiming 22% savings
And Howard, again as the wealthiest amongst them, paid $500 instead of $590 - saving only 15%.
So four of the men continued to drink for free and the latter six were all better off than before. But one night outside the bar, after a heavy night of drinking, the first four looked at the savings the others had gotten and wondered why they had received nothing themselves. The other five all compared their savings to Howard and pointed out he had saved more than all of them put together.
They got more and more upset at the inequity of the situation until all nine men surrounded Howard and started to beat him up, leaving him with marks.
The next week Howard didn’t show up, so the nine men sat down at Lot 61 and had their drinks without him. But when the bill came they discovered something important - they didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half the bill!
And that is how the US tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much and they may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking elsewhere at Bungalow 8… where the atmosphere was friendlier. [Hard stop]
Episode 33 of Occupy A Job on Wall Street will be out soon. Please subscribe and rate us on iTunes.
And hey, if you liked this podcast tell one of your friends to listen. And if you don’t like it, and think it sucks, then tell everyone you know how bad it is.
Episode 33 - The Dismal Scientist.
This episode is about an economist named Dwyer.
The standing joke on Wall Street is that an economist is someone who doesn’t have the personality to become an accountant and is incredibly good at predicting the past. Indeed it’s unclear why hedge funds have in-house economists, since everything a hedge fund manager does is predicated on making asymmetric decisions and if all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they still wouldn’t reach a conclusion.
Furthermore, not only are economists are rare breed on Wall Street, the economist in question we are going to talk about was a Jew from Ireland that we used to call “The Leprechaun”.
Now this itself is unusual. There are two European countries with hardly any Jews - one is Spain which of course persecuted them terribly during the Inquisition, exiled them all, and as a consequence never produced a single scientist of note since that date - even their last Nobel Laureate was really a Peruvian. Ireland’s Jews were historically well-tolerated, there was just never really that many of them. The only Irish Jew you’ve ever heard of is Daniel Day-Lewis.
And now I’ll introduce you to one more… Dwyer, the Irish Economist from Long Island. AKA the Leprechaun.
Dwyer and I used to work together back in the early 2000’s. He was a young guy back then and the role of an economist in the investment process was resurgent, primarily because we were in a recession. The last recession was 10 years beforehand, so - much like today - it was hard to imagine one actually happening, even as we were going through it.
Also, because Dwyer was a young guy, he hadn’t predicted 10 out of the last 3 recessions like most economists. He had however cleverly anticipated the one we were in and managed to leverage that prediction into a job at our hedge fund, which was one of the largest in the world back then.
Unfortunately for Dwyer, when he arrived at our firm he was assigned to a soulless portfolio manager we’ll call Steinhard
It’s early 2003 and Dwyer thinks the economy is on the rebound. This however is an out-of-consensus call. The market has fallen the past two years in a row, Bush is embarking on his fool’s errand in Iraq, hedge funds are going out of business, there’s layoffs all throughout Wall Street. However Dwyer has some credibility and, based on his optimism, the CIO of our fund tells his portfolio managers to put 10% of their money into a sector that would benefit from an economic rebound.
Steinhard doesn’t really want to do this. He’s basically a momentum guy. He’d find out where the big trading flows were and just get his trader to jump on Instinet and front-run them. Everything was going down, so poor Steinhard’s trader had to just call the big trading desks to see what was being sold in size, then he’d short the stocks through Instinet and cover the positions on the close. That was his business model - and it worked.
So Steinhard approaches Dwyer and asks what he should so with the 10% of the portfolio he’s being forced to wager on an economic rebound. Dwyer says you want to get long a cyclical stock in Europe and the one he likes is Pechiney.
Steinhard buys his 10% position in Pechiney and the stock goes down every day for a week. Steinhard is furious, but there’s nothing he can do because the CIO has told him to allocate the money this way. For the next five trading days, he comes into the office and the first thing he does is scream at Dwyer for half an hour about what a - quote, unquote - “fucking idiot” he was. Now I’m not exaggerating this - we had a big open plan office and he’d walk right over to Dwyer’s desk and yell so loud at him that security checked in the first time to make sure there wasn’t some sort of riot going on. After the first day Dwyer would keep a roll of paper towels on his desk to clean up the spit that Steinhard left on his desk and keyboard.
The second week is worse.
Pechiney used to trade in Europe which opened at 3am Eastern Time, so Steinhard would know how much he lost even before he walked into the office and now it’s all he could think about. Dwyer becomes a nervous wreck. Here’s a guy who is used to looking at long economic cycles and waiting for weeks or even months for data, and he’s being judged on a daily basis by a total fucking demon of a man who has now taken to throwing full cans of soda at him.
Now I just want to repeat that last line, because some of you listening to this who have entered the workforce recently may not really have taken it in properly. All sorts of weird unacceptable things used to happen on trading desks back then, and admittedly this is an extreme example, but when the European markets finished up at 11.30am and Pechiney inevitably closed lower on the auction, Steinhard would throw cans of diet coke at Dwyer’s head. They’d hit him really hard and spray soda all over his computer screens and the wall behind him, which was soon stained brown despite the cleaning personnel’s best efforts.
We used Bloomberg software on the desk and they had recently replaced all the keyboards with fingerprint scanners so traders couldn’t share terminals. Dwyer became so terrified of coming to work, his hands would shake and it took him 5 or more times to get his thumb scanned.
So it’s been two weeks of torture for this poor guy and I decide Dwyer needs a break and tell him to come skiing with us one Sunday to chill out. We turn up at Hunter or whichever mountain was closest back then and sure enough Dwyer’s on the first chairlift with us. Three of us are heading up the slope and Dwyer pulls out a beer from his jacket and just starts venting at what an unacceptable excuse for a human being Steinhard is. He gets halfway up the mountain, crushes the beer and nails it into the trash can below that the ski mountain uses to catch garbage being discarded from the chairlift. [pause] Nothing but net.
He opens another beer and that’s finished by the time we start our first run.
It’s 9am.
This is probably the last skiing day of the year, we’re early, and there’s no crowds… we get 8 runs in before lunch and Dwyer drinks maybe 12 beers in that time, bitching about Steinhard the entire time. We break for lunch and Dwyer drinks another two Budweisers over fish and chips. Then he says he’s had enough skiing and he’s going back to the city to hang out at his local pub.
We’re like, are you okay to drive?
And he says he’s fine - that he still has beers in the car for the trip back.
I couldn’t tell you how he spent the rest of his Sunday but if I had to guess he drinks all day and doesn’t sleep more than an hour.
So Dwyer gets up on the morning on Monday and prepares for another week on Wall Street where he expects to literally be physically assaulted by his boss for the next five trading days.
Now, he’s hammered. He’s drunk probably 40 beers in the past 24 hours, it’s amazing he has a pulse. On the way out of his apartment he grabs a lacrosse helmet and puts it on his head, wondering why he hadn’t thought of it last week as a brilliant way to deflect flying coke cans. He gets on the bus and when it’s his stop he misses three feet of steps and crashes down into the midtown pavement. He hits the ground so hard he rips open his heavy jacket at the elbow and begins bleeding through it. [short pause] He bounces back up.
[internal monologue, monotone, LI accent, quick] “No-worries. No-one-saw-me. Get-into-the-office. Just get into the office and pretend to work. No one will know. The traders think I went home at midday. No one knows you’re still drunk. You can do this. You can do this”
Now unbeknownst to Dwyer, overnight Pechiney had gotten a takeover bid from a giant aluminum firm called Alcan, itself now owned by Rio Tinto. And the stock is up huge. Back then portfolio managers used to clip 15% of their profits as a guaranteed bonus at the end of the year. Steinhard will personally walk away with over a million dollars on this trade.
But Dwyer is an economist. Even when he’s sober he doesn’t log into bloomberg from home, and certainly doesn’t obsessively follow stock prices or news. He staggers into the office and sits down looking at his keyboard in confusion, because he can’t get it started properly.
I see him getting increasingly frustrated and tell him, don’t forget, in order to log into Bloomberg now, you need to use your thumb.
But instead of swiping his thumb in the scanner, he tries to type using his thumbs. [medium pause]
Here’s Dwyer, in a ripped shirt, bleeding from both elbows, wearing a lacrosse helmet, and he’s got his hands turned upside down like a chimpanzee, trying to type his login information in with his thumbs... It’s already one of the most retarded scenes I’ve observed in my career, and then Steinhard walks into it.
Now Steinhard should be happy right?? He’s just printed a million dollars on this stock being bought. Not only that, he was forced to take the position in the first place by the CIO, so even if he lost money he wouldn’t have been held personally responsible… in a mere two weeks he’s pulled off the trade of a lifetime. He’s eventually going to buy a boat and name it “Pechiney”.
But he’s apoplectic. [long pause]
He stalks down the trading desk and as he approaches he’s so angry he throws his diet coke can, which rebounds off Dwyer’s lacrosse helmet and explodes against the wall. Dwyer turns around and Steinhard gets right in his face and yells,
“Why is this only a 10 percent position???!!!! You’re a fucking idiot!!!!”
Episode 34 - Dove Hunting with Paul Tudor Jones.
While Wall Street has been very good to me and I certainly appreciate everything I have as a consequence, I’ve always been cognizant that my career is a consequence of being lucky not smart. I was practically a bum on the street when I was struck by lightning and started as an assistant on my first trading desk… so who am I to say I got here through hard work and grit?
Well, you might say, you were lucky at the start of your career, but it’s dedication and a solid work ethic that kept you here.
Well, no.
It might be flattering to me to think that, but it’s not true. It’s the wrong model.
With the benefit of hindsight, the important factor for success on Wall Street is simply proximity to other people’s money.
My first boss could’ve bought a small third world country and still had enough money to make a run on its neighbor’s currency. My proximity to him allowed me to meet other rich people and - like a remora on a Tiger shark - continue to bring the dinner home.
Now all that out of the way, let me get on with the story.
Living in the year 2010 was like arriving at a party that’s already been broken up by the cops. The mighty US had been shaken to its core by the financial crisis and the devastation of the credit bubble unraveling. The Europeans were arrogantly touting their seemingly-more-resilient economy… not realizing they will soon fall into a recession that will be many times as long as ours.
Back then we had created a weekly night out called the “420 Club”. We called it that because Obama had recently forced congress to extend jobless aid and those of us who were unemployed would take our benefits check and be responsible for the drinking tab up to and including that amount. Now my fund was on the right side of the credit crisis, so I still had a job… it was just fun to go out and watch someone try to drink $420 worth of beer in a single night.
So I’m out with these guys at a midtown dive bar called SNAFU and one of them asks if I want to go dove hunting.
I’m like yeah, there’s a negative chance of me doing that.
He said, are you sure? There will be 10 guys and three are billionaires.
Okay… guess I’m going dove hunting.
He tells me it’s at one of the billionaires’ estates down south and last summer he was granted an audience beforehand with one of the these masters of the universe. Now the Deep South is hot as hell and he foolishly had the driver drop him at the gate rather the entrance of the house. By the time he walked up the driveway and sat down for his meeting, he’s sweating like a rapist in court. The billionaire rings a little bell and one of the housemaids scampered out with a cold, damp towel and patted his forehead and neck with it for the rest of the conversation.
Point being, we’re talking about real money. It’s post financial crisis, but for just one weekend this is an opportunity to act like we’re still in the housing bubble.
The more I hear about our weekend, the more I like it. Not only will we stay on the estate and go hunting. Afterwards one of the bankers is going to take us to an Indy 500 track afterwards and we’re going to drive racing cars before the flight home.
The weekend in question arrives and we pile out of the car at this stunning, historic plantation. We’re met in the lobby by a lawyer who makes us take off our watches, give him our phones, and sign some sort of NDA that I’ve ignored from the moment I signed it. We’re then ushered into an enormous ballroom with hunting trophies and all sorts 18th century furniture and paintings.
The owner of the estate simpers in and he’s surprisingly soft spoken, welcomes us gracefully and says he has opened up a special part of his wine cellar for the weekend. There will be two wines available to us while we go shooting. Both are French. One is a ‘73 and one is a ‘74. I’m too busy checking out the decor to pay much attention, but this becomes relevant later.
And then we head off dove hunting.
Let me tell you, dove hunting is boring.
Now I’m not a big hunter. I like guns - even living in New York City I own three firearms including a Springfield 45 which is a joy to shoot. Hunting however involves tons of standing around and the way they do it here isn’t even a challenge - a groundskeeper just brings us over to a clump of bushes where they’ve captured 10 or so of the poor creatures; they let them go and you just blast the confused birds with buckshot. I’m quickly bored with it and, because I’ve been paired with my friend from NYC, don’t even have anyone new or interesting to talk to.
So I ask after the wine that the billionaire mentioned and whether we can have it now. The house servant that’s been haughtily trailing after us says,
[southern uptight accent] “Yes, the master of the house says he has opened up his cellar to you and he is a man of his word”
So we walk around this billionaire’s estate, drinking and shooting things with our Parker Shotguns and we plow through about 6 bottles of the wine. There’s a version of this story where we shoot a bald eagle, but in the cold light of the present day I can’t confirm that claim.
Around 5pm we stagger back to the main house and are smugly informed by the head of the household staff that our presence is no longer required at dinner. Word has gotten back to the other guests about what a couple of idiots we are and quite frankly it’s probably for the best anyway. We settle in outside our rooms, which open out onto the grounds and have beautiful views of the forest below and I’m like, ‘well don’t just stand there Jeeves, go get us a couple more bottles of that Frog wine, a hammer, and a box of nails.’
Now being back in the south had really brought out my inner redneck and I’d decided we were going to play a game called “Hammerschlagen”.
If you’re not familiar with Hammerschlagen, the point is to line up a bunch of nails on a tree stump and hammer each in with a single blow of the hammer. Miss the nail, or bend it, and you have to drink.
I grew up drinking wine out of a box. Bend a lot of nails, you have to drink a lot. Drink a lot and you bend a lot of nails. [short pause]
We play Hammerschlagen until we pass out under the stars with probably $20,000 worth of empty wine bottles scattered around us.
The next morning we’re hustled out of the estate and sent off to the Indy car racing stadium. The other 8 guests are dressed in their Sunday Best. Tweed jackets and all. I’m wearing jeans, flip flops and a t-shirt and have completely given up on life. I figure I already know how to drive a stick shift and nod off during instructions.
However an hour later I find myself in a half-million-dollar supercar and realize I’ve slept through how to drive it.
It’s hot as hell, I’m crawling around this course at 35 miles per hour, jamming up the gearbox, while one of the billionaires laps me repeatedly, beeping his horn in frustration at the lack of competition.
I eventually pull into the pit stop to hoots of derision and the other car roars in behind me. The billionaire jumps out and stalks over.
Now, I may be hammered and unfit for presence in the general public, let alone behind the wheel of a supercar, but I’m not one of his fucking sales guys. I’m also a client, I work on the buyside… most importantly I’m not taking any shit from anyone just because they’re richer than me - everyone in the damn country was richer than me before I earned my first honest paycheck.
I stand up straight with my shoulders back.
He takes his off his helmet, shakes my hand, and asks me how my weekend was. And, for future reference, was that the ‘73 or the ‘74 we were drinking?
Episode 35 - Cocaine Cowboys
Drugs aren’t a complicated subject on Wall Street because it’s a binary decision... You’re either a cocaine guy, or you’re not.
Now I’ve personally tried every drug under the sun that didn’t involve sticking myself with a needle. I grew up in a town so far away from civilization, that our hardcore drug of choice ending up being acid. This is because it was expensive and dangerous to ship most drugs all way out there, but a dealer could just soak a book’s pages with DMT and send it via post. I always did feel bad cutting up old copies of American Psycho into quarter-inch squares, but it’d keep us high for a year, so c'est la vie. I eventually settled on marijuana as my drug of choice, and have since been vindicated I guess, since nowadays they’re even adding it to hamburgers.
The point is, because there was nothing else to do where I grew up, I got into drugs much earlier than most people. Ironically, this also meant I was over them by the time I arrived on Wall Street.
But my friends in the business? My friends loved drugs.
And cocaine? They felt 110% on cocaine.
Sure, Bernie Madoff bought so much cocaine the dealers called their office building “The North Pole”. But one of his traders did even more coke than him, picked up two girls from Flashdancers, and left them handcuffed to the radiator in his apartment on a Tuesday morning. He was taking down orders on his Palm Pilot in a cab before he remembered and had to turn around to wake them up and let them go.
A further disclaimer before I get into the story. While I personally didn’t and don’t have that much interest in cocaine - I loved it when my friends did coke. And I loved them when they were at their 110% best, roaring down the highway of life with nothing to stop them. I assign any early departures by these people to alcohol, not other drugs.
Onto our story
Anyone in New York back in 2006 will recall it as the winter of snowstorms. The record was broken recently, but before that you have to go back to 1947 to find a comparable snowfall.
So there’s 18 inches of snow on the ground and I’m rolling with a crew that’s coked up to the gills and after mischief.
The first protagonist of this episode was a hedge fund guy we’ll call Kang - as you can tell from his name, he was an Asian guy, and on a whim he asks a broker from Lehman to get us tickets to a concert at Madison Square Garden to a Korean R&B singer called “Rain”. Kang worked at a big fund called SAC, so his Lehman sales guy jumped into action and got a block of 20 seats up the front and in no time we’re surrounded by hot little Korean groupies and the whole lot of them are doing key-bumps and swallowing Vitamin Q’s while singing along to music none of us had ever heard before or will ever recall again.
It was 2006, these were diehard people, and bank expense accounts were unlimited and unaccountable. Every time the beer guy would come by, a random sales trader would take down the whole tray. The vendor would protest that it’s a 2 drink maximum and we’d just throw money at him and give out drinks to everyone in a 10-seat direction.
So around half way through the concert I get up to go to the bathroom. I walk into one of the stalls and the hedge fund guy Kang has his assistant trader trussed up like a turkey and he’s pounding the poor guy in the ass, whooping like a circus clown.
While I’m standing there in shock, someone pulls down my pants. [long pause] I turn around and there’s a huge black guy standing behind me. I don’t know what medieval playhouse I’ve walked into, but I’m terrified.
I reach down to pull my jeans back up and smash my head into something and fall over onto the disgusting bathroom floor. The black guy now fully takes in the scene in front of him, realizes he’s pantsed the wrong person as a joke, and knows there’s no way he’s not the one going to jail in this situation, so just takes off out the door.
Kang hasn’t looked up from his assistant’s ass the entire time, so I clean up the gash on my head as best I can at the sink and go back out to the concert. I tell the brokers what I’ve seen and, even as high as they are, no one wants to see the SAC guys ever again, so we agree to ditch their clients and the lot of us do a runner, taking 10 or so of the Korean girls with us.
We jump into the cars that Lehman has waiting for us outside and shoot up to the Empire Hotel, chatting away merrily to the Korean girls who don’t speak a word of English but no doubt think this is great fun to be escaping their domineering parents with a bunch of round-eyes wearing suits and me bleeding all over the place.
Having seen enough depravity for a normal person’s lifetime, while they rent a hotel room I abandon ship and head home to clean up.
The next morning we’re all chatting away on AOL and the consensus opinion is that hanging at a hotel room is actually more fun than going to most bars in the city, so this becomes a sort of regular thing for my group. Each night one broker from a different bank would book a hotel suite in Midtown and we’d get our night started there… people just came and went as they pleased. A sort of informal conspiracy.
So people knew which hotel room to come to, a trader would always put the room under the name of “Bob McKay”.
Now I should add here that no one remembered who Bob McKay was - it was just an expired Discover card that someone had come across and never given back to the owner. See, back then you could get away with hotels physically swiping a credit card using paper sheets…. That’s right, paper. As long as you checked out and gave them cash or a real credit card at the end of the day, it was that easy to book a hotel under a fake name.
Now, you know, and I know, this story is going to come to an ugly end, so I’m going to revisit a bunch of the funnier hotel incidents in a future podcast and try to bring this episode to a swift conclusion. The best way to set up it up is to compare what happened to a boiled frog.
The “boiling frog fable” is based on a premise that if the animal is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water, which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will eventually be cooked to death.
If you’d walked into one of Bob McKay’s parties for the first time, you’d immediately see 5 ways you could get arrested, turn around, and walk out of there. But there were 40 of these functions, slowly getting out of hand, and no one had the good sense to say no, until the authorities said it for us.
In any case, I walk into the Four Seasons and immediately something is amiss. Normally you’d walk into the suite and see at least a couple of friendly faces. But tonight Bob McKay has taken down the entire 38th floor and I’m greeted by a couple of angry hookers stubbing out their cigarettes out on the curtains. A senior sales trader from Bear Sterns is getting the lunch knocked out of her in the main bedroom while some interns from her firm peek through the door. People are pulling the art off the wall and jumping on it. There are traders trying to break down the bathroom doors, to get in on whatever they think they’re missing out on in there.
I run into a bunch of my peers from the Rain concert - they’ve pulled off the Wall Street party of a generation and yet there’s no sense of jubilation in their faces. Lines of cocaine only seem to bring into stark realization that this is a part of the business that will be gone forever after tonight, and they’re not even going to enjoy their swansong. I stay with them for a sad beer as the chaos mounts around us and then beeline for the door as a Fidelity trader begins flinging champagne bottles off the terrace.
The next day the Four Seasons has the NYPD calling every bank on the Street, chasing up compensation for the damage that’s been done. But no one will own up to being there.
Anyone who used a credit card at the previous 39 parties potentially has their head on the block. It’ll be their jobs and their marriage if any of this gets out.
Now, one of my key skills is being a prick and pretending I’m a lawyer for guys named Bob. So I gathered cash from as many people as possible, settled with The Four Seasons for 9 thousand, and everyone seemed happy with that.
Episode 36 of Occupy A Job on Wall Street will be out soon.
Episode 36 - Rochdale Securities LLC
This podcast picks up where we left Paddy Nails. If you haven’t listened to Episode 4 you should check it out for context first.
For this episode you need to understand that when you sell a stock today, 99% of the time it settles - meaning, you get the cash - in 2 days or “T+2”. But back in the aughts, trades used to settle T+3.
Now most of the time it didn’t matter, but we’re going to talk about one of those times it did.
It’s 2010. A financial analyst named Dick Bove, who worked for a mid-size brokerage with regional offices, had already made his reputation calling Bank of America “a generational buy”. After that he just talked to whoever he felt like and rightly so. But the rest of his firm was a bit of a zoo, with some odd characters running around.
One of the traders had a pretty good sense of humor and I always remember heading through Grand Central Station with him and his colleagues. He’d have done a fair amount of drinking, and if he hadn’t managed to get laid, he’d fall asleep on the benches and hope a woman woke him up. This never worked of course, but he’d sleep and talk his way through the night, and when I got off the train the next morning he’d still be on the bench or another one close by. [short pause] I’d whack his feet to wake him up and presumably he’d go back to the office and work the rest of the day, because they never fired him.
So a year or two into this, I’ve settled in for the night and my phone rings. Now back then it wasn’t as surprising when someone called you directly, but it was still pretty odd to see “Paddy” pop up and wonder who the fuck was calling you at 10pm.
I pick up the line, and Paddy pants,
[LI Irish accent] “I need your help.”
I don’t really know what to say to that, so I’m like where are you Paddy.
There’s a brief moment of silence and then I hear in the background,
[Quieter] “Where Am I? Okay, got it.”
[Louder, back on the phone] “I’m in Westport. I got pulled over. They say if you can be here in 30 minutes, they will let me go.”
Now Westport is more than thirty minutes away but he sounds sincere and besides, I’m curious. I figure I can always turn around if a Russian calls me next or something else weird happens on the way.
Remember there was no Waze back then, so around 5 minutes before I figure I’m there, Paddy calls me again,
[firmly] “Where are you man, you said you would be here.”
I tell him to put me on with the cops or I’m turning the car around. He hands the phone over and I introduce myself and tell the police officer I’m five minutes away. He grunts and hangs up on me.
When I get there I walk over and tell Paddy to go get in my car. I then speak to the cops at length and see if I can do anything for them. I genuinely meant the Police Benevolent Fund or whatever, but they’re good-humored about my efforts and tell me to forget it.
I go back to the car and ask Paddy what happened. He says he probably shouldn’t have been driving, but when the cop asked him to get out of the car, he couldn’t handle the pressure and broke down in tears. He told the cop he’d lose his job and his family if he had to do a breath test and the guy took pity on him.
I’m barely molified, but fine, I figure he played his cards well, so I pop the clutch and turn the key. Paddy suddenly sits up straight and tells me we can’t leave his car there. That he’d left drugs and a gun in the back seat. If the cops tow it and find them, he’s screwed… he’ll lose his job and his family.
Now it’s unclear I’d do this again, perhaps not even for a sibling, but I’m younger and dumber so I get back out of the car and explain to the cops that I’ll drive Paddy’s car home and then circle back for my pickup truck later. The officers are nonplused but grudgingly agree, so we jump in Paddy’s car and I head off for the freeway. His directions quickly make no sense and I’m like, Paddy just tell me where you live. He replies,
“Oh I’m not going home. I’m off to Norwalk to see a hooker.”
Now I’ve finally hit my limit. I pull the car over and read him the riot act.
I tell him he needs to get his act together. That he’s not everything he could be, and if he’s honest with himself, he knows it. That he needs to to stop avoiding what he needs to do to take care of not only himself, but his family and his community. That the things that he does and does not do are far more important than he thinks. That he needs to take the responsibility that is associated with that… and to choose the more meaningful path going forward.
Paddy takes all this in and breaks down in tears. And when you think about it, realizing your life isn’t everything it could be… it’s a terrible thing to admit and it’s a terrible to thing to consider. But there’s real promise in it. Because it means that perhaps there’s another way to look at the world and there’s another way to act in the world.
He’s crying and dry-heaving with emotion. He hugs me and won’t let go. Tells me he was supposed to go to Vegas on Friday and that he’s canceling the trip first thing tomorrow. Going forward he’ll abide by his conscience, sit down with his wife and tell her everything, ask her and her kids to forgive him.
We get back on the road and eventually I park his car outside his house, but refuse to give him back the keys. I tell him to call me tomorrow and I’ll meet him at the train station if he wants them back. I watch him walk to the door with his head hung low.
There’s no call from Paddy the next day, so later in the afternoon I call Rochdale and check in on him. He’s suitably thankful, so I ask him to make a donation to a charity I am particularly fond of as further step in his personal redemption. He’s like, “yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it”.
This sounds a lot like the old Paddy to me, so I ask if he was still canceling his trip to Vegas. He sounds a bit startled by that,
“What? Fuck no, I’m leaving with a trainload of hookers after the close. Why, you wanna come with?”
Paddy never did donate to my charity. And I’ll always wonder why he called me that night.
There’s an odd postscript to this story. A couple of years later, my firm owed Rochdale some business so I call up Paddy and ask him to buy a couple of million shares of GE. He’s gracious and professional and there’s no problem executing the trade. Back then we probably paid 5 cents a share, so 2 million shares is $100,000 in commission for Rochdale and Paddy might clip thirty or thirty five thousand of that. Good to pay down the mortgage for your family… or a couple of big nights at the Mandalay. [pause] I’m less judgmental by then, so I don’t ask. It’s not my problem. However he wants to play his hand is fine for me.
Now remember, trades back then cleared on the third day. The commission doesn’t transfer to the firm and certainly not to Paddy until the trade has cleared.
It’s Day two and Paddy is sitting around waiting for the market to close. One of his colleagues gets an order from a client for 150,000 shares of Apple. It’s a decent size trade but the stock is liquid, so they execute it promptly. An hour later the client comes back and buys another 150,000 shares. We were trained back then to think in share count, because that’s what you got paid on. Basis points were for the Europeans. But Apple was one of those rare stocks that had a large notional value. What I mean by that is if you buy 150,000 shares of Nokia at $10 a share, you’re only long 1.5 million dollars worth of the company. But if you buy 150,000 shares of a $200 stock, you’re long thirty million. [pause] It’s a significant difference.
The day wears on and this guy’s client keeps coming in and buying larger and larger amounts of the stock.
It suddenly dawns on Paddy that Apple reports earnings after the close… and he’d never even heard of this sales trader’s account before. He has the back office look up the client’s paperwork and best guess they run $100 million or so… but the sales trader has bought a billion dollars of Apple. With a “b”.
Ding-ding-ding.
Before anyone can do anything, the market closes and the broker who had bought the Apple shares just gets up out of his chair and walks out of the office.
Now no one really knows what the hell is going on. It takes the FBI itself years to put their case together. But the bottom line is the client just isn’t taking the shares... and that means Rochdale Securities is.
Apple earnings are good and the stock is bid the next morning. The remaining Rochdale traders are professionals. They keep their mouths shut and manage to trade out of three quarters of the position. Then it leaks to the Street that they’re long a bunch of shares that they shouldn’t be, the stock tanks, and their clearing agent Pershing makes them sell a block in the hole. They lose 10 million on the trade and have to close the firm down.
Paddy never gets paid on the GE trade. And never finds out whether he’d have paid down the mortgage for his family… or gotten a last couple of big nights in at the Mandalay.
Episode 37 - The Intern
For now I’m not to say the name of the brokerage firm in this podcast, but they did have a football-sized trading floor in Connecticut back before the financial crisis and some of their employees were caught evading US taxes carrying suitcases of cash around while they were flying back and forth from Zurich.
The trading floor probably had 1,000 people on it and at any one time 40 of those might be interns. Back in 2006 however, one stood out - let’s call her Jenna.
Jenna’s dad was worth bank, like a hundred million back when a hundred million was a lot of money. So that’s clearly how she got her job there, because she certainly didn’t give a shit about finance.
Jenna used to wander into the office wearing knee-high boots and tight tops... her long hair was a different color each week. She’d walk in most days, clearly crushed from a big night out, put her head on the desk, and just fall asleep with a Red Bull still in her hand. She wouldn’t even bother coming to work on Fridays.
So Jenna was the sort of girl who’d get attention in any case, but women wouldn’t have made up 10% of the trading desk back then and this sort of behavior drew all the wrong sorts of scrutiny as you’d imagine. What’s more, Jenna worked in a part of equity trading that bumped up against the mortgage bond team.
Nowadays bond trading is all done by computer because prices are simply a function of the underlying yield, which itself is really just an unknowable macro factor - but back then these guys were the gorillas of the trading floor. They’d literally run around and beat their chests, ;short pause] they’d throw phones at people, basically a bunch of animals.
So this is the situation I come across when I walk in to visit the bank. I start off visiting the equities division, which has always been my main area of focus. When I’m sitting with the ETF guys, one of them points out Jenna, so I decide to walk past her on my way to see the bond desk. I can’t even get her attention, she’s just talking on her cellphone and rolls her eyes at me when someone tries to introduce us.
As I sit with the bond guys, I have to ask why they’re so subdued around around Jenna. From what I know about mortgage traders, having her in their general proximity would be like introducing bambi to bunch of starving lions in an abandoned Syrian Zoo. I’d expect them to be throwing stuff at her, drawing on their own faces to get attention, whatever would be normal mating behavior for this bunch of monkeys whacked out on PCP. But there’s none of this and, ironically enough, it’s because they’ve recently found out Jenna is a porn star.
Let me repeat that. The laziest, richest intern on one of the biggest trading desks in the world in 2006, was a porn star in her spare time.
And not just any porn star but an anal specialist.
Now this may not mean that much to you young bucks out there. But remember most of us were watching porn on DVDs or even VHS back then. There was no RedTube or YouPorn. Watching an actual porn star get pounded in the ass… it was usual.
And there was the conundrum for the bond guys. Part of it was they were just over-awed, but they also didn’t want it to get out, because when it did… well then no more Jenna to brighten up their mornings Monday through Thursday.
I’m obviously intrigued, so I go back and manage to strike up a conversation with her. She’s dumb as a box of rocks, but even she recognizes the name of the guy I work for, so I get her business card. Oddly, what I remember most about Jenna is she literally thought Africa was just one big country.
Anyway, I go back to New York and the next day I call up Jenna, say I like her style and I’m open to changing sales trading coverage. I ask her for a market in an industrial distribution company called Beacher Tool and Dye. She’s never heard of the stock but says no problem, she’ll get me a quote.
She’s just stolen one of the biggest clients on Wall Street from one of the nicest sales traders at the bank, but she doesn’t give a shit. She stands up and yells out, “Beacher Tool and Dye, I need a quote”.
My real sales trader suppresses a giggle and says, “Beacher Tool and Dye? Better check the pinks”.
Now if Jenna had any sense of empathy she’d have caught onto what’s happening… She’s just stolen this guy’s client and he’s offering to help her make a market in her first trading order. But she’s used to people kissing her ass, amongst other things, so she runs down to the Pink Sheets and asks for a two-sided market in Beacher Tool and Dye. They’re like “Beacher Tool and Dye? That one’s a real prick, he’s going to shove it in our ass. Better go check the OTC counter.”
She runs over the OTC desk and they want to know if it’s a size situation or not before they’ll make a market in Beacher Tool and Dye, so they send her back to the Listed Desk.
Meanwhile I’m calling other traders, pretending to get all bent out of shape. My light’s blinking on hold. It’s a stressful situation, especially for someone like Jenna who has essentially paid no attention to how trading desks work in the time she’s been working there.
My sales trader yells out at her, C’mon Jenna. Beacher Tool and Dye - it’s a fast market. Don’t hold to anything. It’s a short squeeze.”
Jenna calls Teddy from the NYSE who is an old school guy and he’s not having any of it.
“Beat your tool and die? They like that market tight hon’. [pause] You’re going to wind up wearing this thing.”
She hangs up the phone and is literally standing on the desk and yelling, “beat your tool and die, I need a market!”
Eventually she gets me on the phone and says UBS doesn’t seem to make a market in that company. I’m like no problem, I’ll give you another shot. How about ticker symbol LBW… Layback and Wackit.
I’m giggling even now it was so juvenile.
But that’s what makes any great period in your life just that. You don’t realize it until it passes.
The stock market has changed. I’d argue it’s changed permanently and probably for the better. You move on. The next part of your life can be just as wonderful, but it’s just going to be different. However that was surely a time on the Street we were lucky to be around for.
I would’ve been just an extra if life was the show Billions… just a pissant trader… but it was so much fun. I can’t believe we got compensated for some of it. You could have sold tickets to this job. It’s terrible, but I look at friends of mine who worked at IBM or something and say I almost feel sorry for them. Sitting in a cubicle, hoping to get a 10% raise and a bigger cubicle and invited to some lame IBM sales force boondoggle.
I wasn’t a big player but it didn’t even matter. I still feel lucky.
Episode 38 - Goose.
A close friend of mine died some years ago.
He has a memorial in Central Park that I visit each week, so I still think of him often. The plaque is one of those granite paving stones that make up the entrance to the Literary Walk. My dog has gotten used to the routine, so she normally runs ahead of me and seemingly waits patiently at the location for me to arrive. I kneel down by his name and give his memorial a couple of taps with my knuckles, as if he can somehow know I’ve not forgotten him. On a clear day I look over to the Pin Oak he has endowed and then stroll down towards Bethesda Fountain, which is my absolute favorite place in the city.
Each one of those engraved paving stones has a story to tell. I have, however, struggled to write about my friend because it’s difficult to find the right tone. Outside of his passing, I’m blessedly unfamiliar with tragedy, and hope this remains the case for the near future.
However, I recently read that, if you struggle with 10 ideas, then you should write down 20. So here’s my first shot at some things I remember about my late friend, who we’ll refer to as Goose.
Goose looked a lot like Will Ferrell from the movie Old School. He was big, gregarious, and would give you the shirt off his own back. Before working on Wall Street he opened up international offices for Google. This was prior to the era of compliance, so human resources was just the perfect job for him.
We called him Goose because he was the world’s best wingman. Just a pleasure to hang out with in the evenings. He would never say no to anyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went out six nights a week between the years 2005 and 2010.
Every Friday morning he’d hit you up on AOL with the song “Hello” by Martin Solveig. You may remember the video, because it has 80 million-odd views and involves Novak Djokovic and a couple of DJ’s playing tennis. Go ahead and look up the song on whatever platform you’re listening this to [pause] it’ll set a new, sunnier tone for the rest of the episode.
My favorite story about Goose was when he busted into my apartment, bubbling with excitement. He tells me he hooked up with a pop singer named Kesha. I’m like, I don’t know who that is, why are you so worked up about it? He says to think of Kesha as an STD with glitter and that she got so into it when they were having sex, she started taking photos of him with her iPhone 4. Back then Apple had just launched their "Retina Display" function - which meant the phone had a resolution so high that you were unable to discern individual pixels for the first time. People take that for granted nowadays, but I’m telling you that, when someone stole her phone and leaked the photos to Perez Hilton, the images of him going down on her were really something. They’ve long since been scrubbed from the front pages of Google, so she could pursue some Me-Too vendetta… but nothing’s ever gone forgotten on the Internet of course.
Another time we were at a seedy place called Madame Wong’s and he meets what he thinks is a nice girl. When they get back to his apartment first thing she asks is what sort of food he has in his kitchen. He lives in a railcar apartment on the lower east side and there’s nothing but beer, bread and nutella in the fridge. The night passes eventfully and he’s woken up by the doorbell at 6am. Now back then, after big nights out people used feel free to crash at his place all the time, so he saunters over and opens the door thinking it’s one of his friends. His mum is at the door and he’s naked, covered head to toe in nutella, there’s nutella spread all over the kitchen table and the cabinets… as well as all over the sheets and the naked chick sleeping on his futon.
Goose was the character in Episode 18 who rolled out of the fountain in his underwear when we were having brunch one morning in Rio de Janeiro.
Another night we went to a club called SL. This was when it was in Meatpacking, underneath Abe & Arthur's. As we walk in he’s like, “Ah, there’s Mark. We’re friends”. I look over and Mark Cuban is sitting at a table with like 10 girls. I’m like, yeah right. Cuban looks over and yells out, “Goose, what’s up!”, picks him up and hugs him right off his feet. Guy just became a billionaire. Goose is part of his entourage. Never told us. Was just another Friday morning out to him.
Like many of my generation, Goose became a wall street guy almost by accident. When he left Google, he had a job offer from a staffing agency called Spear that did a lot of work for Facebook and the other big Internet firms that were growing like crazy from small bases back then. His boss takes him go to a conference somewhere in Florida and their client contact is some hot chick from Facebook named Mercedes. Goose and Mercedes get on well and eventually end up back his hotel room. But he’s sharing the hotel room with his new boss right? So he leaves a sock on the door, locks it from the inside, and just refuses to open it when his colleague leaves the conference to go to sleep. The next morning, understandably, his new firm wants to know why he slept with his client and locked his manager out of the room they were supposed to be sharing. [pause] As they are confronting him he’s flabbergasted… he just can’t understand what the fuss is about - he had remembered to leave a sock on the door handle right? Apparently that’s guy-code and his boss should’ve known it meant he scored and shouldn’t be interrupted. Even months after they fired him he was still expressing surprise the sock didn’t work.
Another story, perhaps apocryphal, has him stealing a statue from a restaurant at Kansas City Traders and making out with it in the largest hot tub in the country. I’m not on solid ground with this one, but it has the ring of truth.
Goose dated this girl once who was sort of quasi-famous. She used to run around for some late night TV show like TMZ and interview celebrities as they were coming out of nightclubs at 2am. It was a pretty good business model, so credit to her for suggesting it at work and coming up with the concept early. Remember, this was before everyone had a super computer in their pocket, so understanding where and when to be with a proper camera and a microphone was in demand back then. You had to know all the right people for a job like that. Longer story short, we’re at a bar and one of our group complains that a girl who lives down the corridor from him is leaving used condoms by the elevator. We put two and two together and realize it’s Goose’s girlfriend that lives there. I draw the short straw and am responsible for telling him his girl is cheating on him. So we sit down and he asks how I know this... Think about the story I have to tell for a minute…. How much of a skank do you have to be that when someone bangs you they don’t even stay in your bedroom long enough to take their condom off? Instead they roll out of there so fast they’re still half-hard and just fling the rubber off as they’re waiting for the elevator. It boggles the mind. [pause] But there’s not a trace of hurt feeling on Goose’s face. He’s totally unperturbed and such a free spirit, he just says, “Ah that’s okay. At least she’s using protection”.
I like to keep these podcasts short, so let’s take a break before the next 10 stories. I would however like to leave off with a thought.
There’s increasing noise lately from commentators that millennials and the older cohort of Generation Z are more risk averse than previous generations. It’s hard to know if this is really true but the statistics seem to bear out that they are doing less drugs, don’t drink as much, are having less sex, and perhaps even going outside infrequently.
I can see why. When I grew up and TV was boring, you had to go out into the real world for stimulation. Now everyone can live what feels like an entertaining life without the prospect of leaving the house. Streaming television and video games offer an experience that is nearly hazard-free, even if takes you awhile to look up and realize that you are truly alone. But like avoiding risk in any activity, the benefits are limited. Taking risks is how we get more from life.
You might be entertained, or horrified, with the stories in these podcasts, but there’s no doubt that Goose lived life to the fullest. It’s one of the things that comforts me in his absence. He may have left this world early, but my friend lived a hundred normal lives.
And if that’s true, then how many of us can say we’re still living our best existence?
Episode 39 - Opening Night at STK.
One of the reasons I’m interested in writing about New York back in the early 2000’s is because I still live in the city and it’s just changed so much. Now, for the most part it’s changed for the better. I have a couple of ankle-biters now and they can roam somewhat freely around the neighborhood without being raped and stabbed to death by some crackhead. So that’s great.
There are however some ways where it’s gotten worse.
As I’ve noted in an earlier podcast, when you complain that the city has changed, what you’re really complaining about is that you’ve gotten older. So I recognize part of my grievance is that I’m in my 40’s and not in my 20’s or early 30’s... People just don’t find me as entertaining in person as they used to, and I get that.
But I’d also argue that everyone nowadays seems to have a stick in their ass and even a mild show like Seinfeld would not fly today without the loudest people getting outraged.
I was out last week at a new Midtown hotel bar. Some work colleagues had taken down half the rooftop, so I skip the line and we’re pounding beers upstairs. It was fun, but it became increasingly clear that another group of guys, clearly not affiliated with the bank, were making derogatory comments about us.
I let it ride for a while, but I’d smoked a lot of weed on the Citibike over here, so my senses are like a military-grade radar. The nearby group are sniggering like a bunch of teenage girls, and no one’s patience is infinite… so eventually I turn around to take a proper look at them and clearly I missed the Gotham fashion scene memo this year… They’re wearing suits, but the material looks a little like pyjamas and they seem to have Hugh Hefner smoking slippers on. They’re also wearing those summer scarf things. I don’t know if you’ve seen these yet, because douchebags only bring them out at night, but they look somewhere between a cravat and a regular scarf and seem like they’d be perfect for strangling their owners with.
Now my colleagues are older guys, but these are traders who grew up selling knives and vacuum cleaners door-to-door in Jersey and Staten Island. Any one of them would be worth 3 of the douchebags and besides no one fights anymore in New York, so I’m not worried. I walk over to them with a few of the bank’s beers and tell them to drink up and breathe through their mouths for the rest of the night.
That normally shuts anyone up, but they’re game for a confrontation so I get into it with these guys and start throwing out offensive material, trying to figure out what’s going to trigger them first.
I’ve planned to start making fun of Italians, the Irish, Mexicans, Asians, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, hipsters, women, liberals, conservatives, gays… then start all over again with Italians.
Now I only got as far as being rude about Mexicans before these guys got too offended and had to move to a safer space. [pause] And that, ladies and gentlemen, inspired me to write about hispanics on Wall Street. [long pause]
People still complain about a lack of diversity on Wall Street, but let me tell you it was very unusual to come across someone from Central or South America on a trading desk 15 years ago. There was the odd exception - one of the traders at Soros was an Ecuadorian for example.
This story is about another one of those exceptions to the rule, a trader we’ll call Slayer.
As I discuss in Episode 16, there was a lot of hazing on Wall Street back then - and for good reason. Baiting a colleague was Wall Street’s way of training people to handle the criticism it takes to be successful in a high pressure job. At least amongst men, hazing is a prerequisite for success and test of whether you can be trusted by your colleagues.
So every day Slayer walked onto the trading desk, as far as people were concerned, he was from a different country south of the border. Evo Morales gets elected in Bolivia? Slayer is a coca-chewing Bolivian for the day. CIA tries to overthrow Hugo Chavez? Slayer would be Venezuelan that week and the desk would be speculating about whether his sister had fake boobs.
Now when people voluntarily face things that they’re afraid of, they get stronger. So while Slayer was a bit taken aback at first by the constant teasing, he quickly got thicker skin and was giving it back to all of the guys on his desk in no time.
However, this episode is about the time that Slayer got triggered.
So it’s opening night at one of the STKs. We have a big table reserved and meet beforehand at a local watering hole called Sutton Place. I’ve never met Slayer before, but I’ve heard of him and we had very similar jobs, executing equity trades for a large hedge fund.
Now Slayer may be hispanic, but he was built like a brick shithouse and is an amalgamation of every Irish guy you’ve ever met. He also worked on the buyside, so while hazing kept your ego in check there and meant you were never allowed to build up any sense of entitlement on the trading desk itself… when we were out at night it was easy to get a bit full of yourself. After all we had a hundred sales counterparties back then, so the chances are we were out drinking with at least one of them - maybe 3 or 4. And they’d all be competing to kiss your ass.
At bars buyside guys used to gravitate towards each other to avoid too much broker conversation. So Slayer and I find ourselves at Sutton Place downing shots and he suddenly turns to me and says,
[Rough, deep, gravely voice] “wanna do some drugs?”
I’m like sure. I have a dugout on me, let’s go outside and smoke. He’s says “nah, it’s fine I have some we can take right here” and reaches into his pocket, coming up with a wide and interesting variety of pills. They’re different shapes, sizes, colors. All scattered around on his massive hand like children’s candy.
Now, not knowing what the pills are, no sane person would touch these things. But as I describe in Episode 12, mental illness is an asset on Wall Street, not a liability… It turns out Slayer just came back from a holiday in Las Ventanas and while he was there he brought back every over-the-counter drug he could find. He shrugs his shoulders at my reticence and pops a couple of pills that look like they might be horse tranquilizers.
An hour later we are at STK. It’s jammed.
Brokers would divide up expenses, so Deutsche Bank is in charge of this part of the night and this is back when they were a real bank. The head guy there has a black card and the reservations are solid at 9pm… We are led to a huge table in the middle of the room that has been purposely kept empty for an hour beforehand, as a reflection of our importance as clients.
There’s 12 of us at the table, but I maneuver myself next to Slayer. I ask him, what drugs do you have left? He grunts at me, checks his pockets and says,
“Only these little white things. I think they’re rohypnol or something. I bought them to help me sleep.”
And then he shrugs his big shoulders again and downs all three of them.
That’s right. At that exact moment in time Slayer has the best seat, at the best table, at the best restaurant you could be sitting at in New York City - or perhaps the world for that matter - and the first thing he does when he sits down is rohypy himself.
Now the moment the pills touch his tongue. Slayer’s eyes roll up and his head hits the table.
He can’t remember anything after. Any normal person you’d be calling an ambulance. But this guy is such a unit, 20 seconds later he bounces back up, ramrod straight. Maybe one of the many uppers he took earlier in the night kicks in and takes back control.
Falling unconscious in the middle of the most important dinner of the year hasn’t gone unnoticed though. The Deutsche Bank trader who reserved the table, yells over in an arrogant voice, “Hey lightweight, you still with us down there?” and all the sycophants around him start giggling, thinking they can have some fun at a client’s expense and no one will be the wiser tomorrow.
Slayer fixes him with a stare and says,
“You know the Deutsche Bank logo was replaced by a swastika in the 1930s right?
The table goes silent. We did not know that.
Slayer continues,
“Also your firm financed the building of Auschwitz. At the end of the conflict, your CEO was tried and convicted of being a war criminal. [short pause]. Your desk sits on top of a mountain of skulls pal. Keep your trap shut or I’ll close it for you.”
Now the Deutsche guy has misjudged Slayer, but he’s still misjudging the conversation. He thinks this is an intellectual argument. It’s not. This is about hierarchy and dominance. He splutters some pathetic response and is saved by the waiter coming over.
There’s an uncomfortable silence while the Deutsche guy pretends to inquire about the food and Slayer stares murderously at him.
He asks the waiter if the tacos come with rice and beans….
And that’s when Slayer gets triggered.
See “Rice and Beans” was Slayer’s first nickname on the trading desk.
He had to sit back and take it then. But the concept of hazing doesn’t extend to environment outside - it doesn’t mean that someone from outside of the group is allowed to harass him. Just the opposite.
Slayer is in the flow. He gets up, walks around the table to the Deutsche Bank executive, picks him up out of his chair, ducks a half-hearted punch, and floors him with a clean left hook.
The guy folds like the house of cards his bank is. Slayer turns to his friends who are aghast at the turn the night has taken. They shrink back and Slayer yells out.
“Slayer Wins. Fatality!”
There’s a moment of silence and then chaos. Security surge towards us. Slayer sees them coming and pulls his shirt off. The doormen are so taken aback by this, they actually stop dead in their tracks confused. You can’t blame them. It’s confusing.
Everyone clears a path and Slayer strolls right by them and towards the front door. There’s a 100 punters at the bar, all staring at him. He throws the remains of his shirt at the people waiting outside and growls,
“I’m not being thrown out, this bar is banned from me!”
And then we went rickshaw racing in Times Square. [short pause] But that’s another story.
Episode 40 - A game of thrones.
I was speaking with a younger friend recently and found myself taken aback by a question of his about Wall Street.
He wanted to know where all the jobs went... UBS used to have a football-sized field of traders in Connecticut. The hedge fund Diamondback had something like 25 traders. I had made some introductions to financial firms on his behalf and and he just didn’t anything like that in today’s environment.
And he’s right. Jobs like that just don’t exist anymore. Walking into a lifeless, silent trading operation might as well be another planet when I think about the desks I cut my teeth on 20 years ago. And this episode is about why that is.
The death of trading is best addressed in 2 parts. Let’s deal with the Sellside first because it’s relevant to the most people, and then I’ll explain what happened to the Buyside.
If you worked on Wall Street in 2010 there were two mergers that mattered. Bank of America Merrill Lynch was one and the second was Bear and JP Morgan. By way of context, both Bear and Merrill had been safely sold by then and business was improving. Things weren’t all flowers and sunshine though. To say we were apoplectic at the big brokerages after the financial crisis would be an understatement. Even people on Main Street, who didn’t realize the full scale of the taxpayer money that had been committed, were furious at the banks that were left.
But this is the situation the banks found themselves in. So let’s run through the challenges facing sales trading in 2010
One - commission compression. In 2007 we paid 6 cents per share to trade or - I don’t know 20 cents a share - who the fuck cared while everyone was making so much money. By 2010 it was 4 cents and much less for program trades. And nowadays the big aggregator firms like Citadel and E-Trade actually pay for order flow. So, commission compression of 100%? That’s a lot.
Secondly, after the crisis there was just less business because all the plain vanilla clients lost money catching knives and many hedge funds had been knocked out of the market, because you-know… they weren’t hedged.
Thirdly, you have the increasing migration to passive investing and ETF’s, which pushed business away from active traders, but also reduced volatility, making them less necessary in the first place.
Fourthly, our banks became more efficient and internalized their business, which killed the smaller competitors. Last week I had beers with someone who was an “IDB” or Inter Dealer Broker. Essentially he was a broker’s broker, someone the bank went to in order to unwind risk - the last guy on the line. This friend of mine tells me he had an actual pimp on his payroll to drum up business from the big banks. Once the banks automated that risk management, no need for an IDB… and because of that you guys miss out on funny stories today about the “Inter Dealer Broker’s Pimp”.
I could go on forever, but you should always strive to make the complex simple rather than the opposite, so let’s do just one more... The last reason the sales trading job disappeared was the fintech competition just got better. Quite frankly, executing with a firm like Liquidnet is just faster, cheaper, better. If you didn’t adapt to that trend, you lost your job and rightly so.
Let’s move onto the Buyside.
The best way to describe what happened to buyside trading jobs is they just had their balls ripped out.
Like I said, make the complex simple.
Let’s take the poster boy for a swashbuckling-hedge-fund-maniac, George Soros. Now I have a great story about George trading the gold markets in Episode 9. I was lucky enough to speak with another person on that desk and he gave me a different angle on the same situation.
In those days, when George wasn’t throwing lampshades at strippers, he would take extraordinarily outsize investment positions…. both of these things are a benefit of managing permanent capital.
In 2008 George had taken such a large bet on gold that he exceeded the speculator futures limit that was set by the CME back then. So his traders arrange for what was known as a “total return swap” with the banks, which essentially meant you would use the big bank’s IDs to buy more of something you probably shouldn’t be buying. Whenever you hear “swap” on Wall Street, someone may dress it up in complicated language, but what it really means is you are skirting the rules.
So George had bought so much gold, billions upon billions of it, that he had exhausted the capacity of three banks and was moving onto the 4th. Think about that for a minute - he’s taking a position so large that the regulators didn’t even think it was safe for a publicly traded bank to be in it. And he was on his fourth bank ID.
So George has already called the trading desk once to try to understand why gold was down and the fund was getting killed, losing something like 3 or 4 hundred million. An hour later he calls back again and gets a different trader on the phone. He asks him the same question,
[George Soros voice] “Where is the P&L trading right now?”
The trader responds [LI tough guy voice, pissed off], “we’re down 400 million dollars”
[George Soros, nonchalant] “Okay. Why is the P&L down?”
[Trader, emphatic, deliberate] “Your longs are down and your shorts are up”
[George Soros, nonchalant] “Hm, why is gold down?”
The trader is like, [still LI tough guy voice, but slightly softer tone] “Well George, you spoke and the market took care of it.”
George responds, “that’s wrong”.
[trader] “Well, what can I tell you, that’s what happened”
George then wants to know where he can buy another billion dollars of gold. Remember, the Quantum Fund has already exhausted three banks’ ability to buy gold. The traders scramble, but there’s pushback everywhere inside the firm for some sort of position limit. There’s just not a market for buying more gold, so they call him back to question his decision. George is implacable though,
[George voice] “If there’s nothing trading then that means the market is wrong. Take it up to the level where the market is right. Go for the jugular. Okay? Very good.”
The traders make it happen. That was a trader’s job back then - make things happen. They buy hundreds of millions of dollars of gold and Soros makes yet another fortune.
And that’s why the buyside job disappeared. People like George, forces of nature, have retired from trading and the era of risk management and compliance is ascendant.
When you put a limit on an order, you are limiting yourself. But there’s no place for people who believe that anymore.
There’s only a few of us left, perhaps rightly so.
I have an interesting postscript to this story. After George closed out another successful year he calls the back office at his fund and wants a tally of where he has made money. Next to gold, there’s another huge positive line item in the P&L under “Sonya”.
So George asks the head of risk management to speak to Sonya. [short pause]
But Sonya isn’t a person.
SONIA stands for “Sterling Over Night Index Average”. [
It’s shorthand for a bet on British bond prices, and George thought it was one of his portfolio managers.
How’s that for making the complex simple?
Now I always planned to do each series in groups of 20, so technically this wraps us up. But strangely enough, I find myself with more material today than I had when we started this project last year. So if the Podcast continues to get traction I will just keep putting out episodes. If you want to hear more stories like this, then share your favorite episode with someone, post it online, or rate us on iTunes…. Meantime, I’m signing off. Stay safe out there.
Episode 41 - An Unregulated Market
Today’s podcast is set in the offices of the most famous firm you’ve never heard about.
Herzog Heine Geduld was a brokerage that was started all the way back in 1926, survived and prospered through the chaos of the 20th Century, and then was sold to Merrill Lynch for 900 million in the summer of 2000.
Let’s take the named partners one at a time.
The most important of the three, Buzzy Geduld, was a rough sort of character. On the other hand, this is a guy who also cornered the NYC donut cart market in the 1960s, back when you had to break some legs to get things done. When looking him up to see if he was still alive, and what he did with his hundreds of millions, I see he’s still in the business and in fact just last month he opened up another Donut shop on Astor Place.
Max Heine I never met. But Michael Price of Mutual Shares was his protege. Mutual Shares was sold to Franklin Templeton a while back, so don’t worry if you’re too young to recognize that name either. My understanding is Max Heine cashed out of the business… and instead of opening up a Donut Pub, retired to Arizona and was promptly killed by a bus.
John Herzog I can’t speak authoritatively about either, but “Herzog” is the most important name of the three. It’s what you’d refer to when you described how their company traded 15 percent of the Nasdaq volume during the Internet bubble crash of March 2000. Alongside Spear Leeds, itself sold to Goldman, Herzog dominated the Nasdaq markets as they opened up to the retail market and caught the wave as those stocks went from being traded Over The Counter to electronic.
I recently picked up a copy of John Herzog’s book and had to suppress a giggle when I read the inside of the jacket. This is what it said,
“This intimate memoir would be more believable had it not happened on Wall Street. It’s an unconventional story for that place: it’s about integrity, not greed, where wrongs are quickly righted and fairness is never mistaken for generosity. For Herzog, the reward is sharing success with all who made it possible, and his story tells us how that happened.”
Let me tell you, this is not how I remember Herzog Heine Geduld.
As a young guy, I walked into their office on Washington Boulevard for the first time and was almost mowed down by traders racing mountain bikes around the lobby. One of the traders careens away from me and smashes into a glass conference room wall. He jumps up and gets right in my face, swearing and asking what I’m doing wandering around like a dipshit on their race course. He quieted down a bit when I told him I was a client but still told me to fuck myself as he went back to pick up his bike and pay the other trader.
A little startled, I get into the elevator and pull out my Blackberry. I didn’t care about checking email, it was just a status symbol back then - you always wanted to be on your blackberry in the elevator.
I walk onto trading floor and see Buzzy yelling at a client. They go back and forwarth about some trade for a while, while Buzzy gets more and more wound up. Finally Buzzy, screams out “You motherless fuck!” and hangs up the phone. He turns to his open-mouthed assistant, throws his pad at him and says, “This account will be redeeming, hit him with a 50 thousand dollar service charge on the way out.”
Talk about an education, they’re not teaching you this stuff at Wharton.
As I make my way through the trading floor, I recognize another sales trader, one of the only women in the place. She’d be 90 pounds soaking wet and has a shock of blond hair. She whips her chair around and I see she’s put on 20 pounds since I saw her two weeks ago… all of it on her chest. I am agape at the size of her new boobs - each one is the size of her head. She sighs loudly, points at her eyes and says “I’m up here pal”. I’m embarrassed but the trader near to her yells out, “Let him stare, ya paid enough for them ya slag!”. She growls and throws her phone at him and as I walk away I can hear a couple of coffee cups careening across the desk.
There’s a crowd around the vending machines and I discover one of the interns lost a bet and has to eat one of everything until he throws up. The other interns are cheering him on and the more senior traders are betting on whether it’ll be candy or chips that are the catalyst to make him hurl. The Chips have it with an expired pack of 3D Doritos.
When I sit down with my sales trader, she’s too busy to talk to me, so I listen in on the conversations around me. The guy next to us seems to believe Magic Johnson got Aids by going on the Aids walk. Another trader gives an intern money for a cab and sends him to the New York Stock Exchange floor for a box of upticks.
And that’s all I remember about Herzog for now.
Episode 42 - Mister Wall Street!
This podcast is the follow up to Episode 38 and deals with a trader we called Goose, because he was the world’s best wingman. Goose also features in Episode 18 when he surprised us rolling out of a fountain in his underwear one morning in Rio de Janeiro. If you haven’t listened to 38, please go back and listen for context.
For those who have listened to 38, recall that we had told you 10 things about Goose’s short life and were planning on a further 10. So here goes,
11) Goose worked at a firm called Baycrest Partners which, while only a 3rd tier execution firm, maintained a reasonable competitive advantage in hiring. Said another way, unlike a lot of other firms on Wall Street back then, they had a “no assholes” rule.
One of Goose’s jobs at Baycrest was that of a scout. He’d head down to a city the day before big trading conventions and set up hotel rooms, make friends with doormen and bartenders, as well as round up local talent. Remember, this guy was a recruiter for Google - he was so good at scouting that by the time his-many-friends-in-the-business would arrive for a convention, he’d pretty much have been given the keys to the city.
So one Thursday before a big Vegas trip, a trader we’ll call Cash flies in expecting to find Goose having set the table for their shared clients with his usual efficiency - but there’s no sign of him.
He hasn’t even checked into the hotel rooms. He’s not picking up his cell phone either.
Eventually Cash wanders into the casino and there’s Goose in a Mandalay Bay bathrobe, with two strippers, who themselves are only wearing bikinis. He’s arguing with the pit boss about their dress code and making the case that he’s wearing the hotel’s attire and technically so are the strippers, since he just bought them bathing suits at the gift shop. Ever the peacemaker, cash defuses the situation, sorts out the hotel rooms, and they head off to the pool to get their drink on.
A little later in the day, one of the strippers has to back go to work, while Cash and the other strip are getting on well and decide to hook up. But first they have to lose Goose. This is a problem, most importantly because Goose would never leave one of his own behind but also because he’s been getting after it for 48 straight hours and is starting to lose his marbles. The remaining stripper and Cash almost manage to lock Goose into a hotel room but he busts out at the last minute and yells,
“I’m not leaving until you give me an Old Fashioned!”
The stripper is adamant, “I am not giving you a handjob.”
Goose says he didn’t mean the stripper…. he meant Cash.
Cash is a former Marine, the men’s division of the Navy, so he takes a long look at Goose, then pushes him over and runs down the hallway to the elevator holding the stripper’s hand. As the door closes, they see Goose sprinting after them.
They get out in the lobby and take off to the busiest place they can find, which happens to be the casino. When they turn around, Goose is on their heels. Other than his Mandalay Bay robe flapping behind him like a white cape, he is stark naked, cock thumping against the side of his leg as he lopes after them.
Attracted by the screams, a security guard from earlier in the day tackles Goose into the slot machines and the last thing Cash hears from Goose that weekend is muffled shouting about being owed a handy.
12) Goose was an excellent prank caller. We used to make a list of all the most important buyside traders on Wall Street and we’d have him consistently phone them right on the market open at 9.30am when things were at their most chaotic. He’d call them and say,
“Hi How are you doing today. It’s Bob McKay from Mutual here. How ‘bout I send up a crab-meat-cocktail and in return you give me an order.”
Most of them would respond that, they were sorry Bob, we’re not sure what you’ve heard about us, but that’s not how we do business here. And Goose would always come back with,
“Hey, you wanna’ look in IBM or not?! I’ll give you a look… if you give me an order.”
This would continue daily until the trader would lose their shit and explode at him. And when that happened we’d send a delivery guy up with as many flowers as the poor kid could carry with a card that read “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. How about you give me an order? Bob McKay.”
13) Goose used to cause chaos in the New York restaurant scene. Every time he found out about a new hot place opening he’d secure a table for 2 and then invite 16 people. This would set up surreal situations that are full episodes in themselves, but the key was he only ever wanted to go to any restaurant once. He’d proved out that you can do this in New York - he had an Excel spreadsheet that took its input from Zagats and applied a birth-death model to them where the average establishment turns over every two years. Voila, turns out you can go to a different restaurant every night. Model works to this day.
14) For a Wall Street guy, Goose had a very strange view of finance. His philosophy was, you should forget the money. If you think money is the most important thing, then you will spend your life completely wasting your time. Because if you do that, you’ll be doing things you don’t like doing. in order to go on living, that is... to go on doing things you don’t like doing. That’s stupid. Better to have a short life that is full of what you desire, than a long life doing what you hate.
15) Goose’s thoughts on the nuclear family involved him getting a preemptive vasectomy. Now when I heard that it took me a while to realize that, yes, all vasectomies are preemptive, [short pause] but Goose didn’t even have a girlfriend at the time. His rationale was that women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they won’t change. [short pause] And they’re both wrong.
16) This one is about the time Goose lost his mojo.
This is back when Goose worked at Google and we’re in Boston at a bar called the Black Rose. He’s talking to an odd-looking little patron at the back of the bar and suddenly the guy slaps him... Right across the face. Really hard…. Goose is twice the guy’s size, but he’s not a fighter, so I bounce over there to deal with it.
Now I grew up fighting and kept at it until my early 30’s, but I stop short when I’m face to face with Goose’s protagonist. There’s something odd about him, like a leprechaun perhaps, he’s not scared of me whatsoever, and when he turns his gaze to me, all I know is I don’t want him to touch me next.
Goose has the beginning of tears in his eyes, and says, “I didn’t say a machine was going to take your job, I was just explaining what the company I work for does.”
And then suddenly nothing is going right. The locals don’t see the funny side of anything Goose does any more. Girls hate him. He can’t even catch a bartender’s eye.
The leprechaun has taken his mojo.
After a couple of hours of this we figure we need to break the curse and head to Center Folds, which back then was the only strip club in Boston. We’re at C-Folds and things seem to be coming right when one of the strippers on my lap says, “watch out, they’re going to hurt your friend and then they’re going to hurt you.''
I am instantly on alert and look over to see Goose arguing with security over the bill. Somehow he has found a Yankees cap. The doorman grab him by both arms and hurl him outside into the back alley, then circle back for me. I’m actually ready to give up on Goose but don’t have any choice in the matter and I’m thrown out into the alley as well. When they close the back door I sigh with relief that they haven’t taken us out here to beat us up. I look around for Goose and he’s arguing with a cop.
The cop had been just minding his own business but somehow Goose has gotten into an argument with him. With none of his usual humor or charm, Goose and his Yankees cap are making the case that anyone in a position of authority in Boston is necessarily corrupt and that he’s sick of the place and wants to go back to New York. For now the cop is just rolling his eyes and looking bored. But then Goose starts doing karate kicks into the air in front of him. The kicks are clumsy and stupid, like a child might do as a joke, but the cop has hand on his nightstick and it’s clear this is going to go badly.
Fortunately there’s a light dusting of snow on the ground, so Goose slips over and knocks himself out.
I get him in a cab and decide it’s time to call it a night. We’re almost back to the hotel when Goose wakes up, says he’s not going to sleep until he breaks the curse, and rolls out of the car while it’s still moving.
The story loses focus here, but my understanding is that Goose finds himself on a casino cruise called the Aquasino where he doesn’t win a single hand of blackjack and can’t convince anyone to lend him a marker. He visits a variety of bars and clubs and can’t get so much as a hello out of anyone. Eventually he finds himself on the other side of Boston at 2am, everything is shut down, no cab will stop for him, and he has to walk at least an hour back to the hotel. On the way home some dodgy characters are pressing escort cards into his hands and on a whim he starts collecting them. He’s back at the hotel and he has like 20 of these spread out on the bed, they have pictures of hookers on them and he probably thinks he’ll rub one out, fall asleep, and bring his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day to a close.
His eyes drift to the phone however and decides to give it one last try.
He grabs a card at random, dials the number on it and a woman says hello.
Goose is like, “Don’t talk. Don’t say a word. I don’t care what you really look like, what you do for your clients, grab a friend if you want, you can bring the whips and chains, cover me in chocolate, strap one on, I don’t care. Just get over here.”
And the woman responds, “I’m sorry sir, but you need to dial 9 for an outside line”.
17) Goose had an interesting approach towards corporate expenses. He’d plan ahead for an event and keep bringing it up with his bosses until he’d eventually get to someone to wave him away and say,
“Bring it to me first and I’ll get it approved.”
And after that, logically, he can’t get in trouble. That’s the way business was done, back then when we were all busy. And come to think of it, at some places like FBR you’d actually get in trouble for not spending enough each month.
So one time he’s organizing a pub crawl for clients but his boss won’t sign off on a car for the night to take them around. Inexplicably he says one of us should stay sober and they could just borrow his wife’s Range Rover which he had driven into work that morning.
So fast forward to the next day and naturally, no one knows where the car is.
The traders argue back and forward for a while about who saw it last and eventually Goose checks his pockets and finds the keys. He still insists that he wasn’t the last one to drive it, but the responsibility now sits with him, so he hires a gypsy car to drive around downtown and retrace their steps while pressing the alarm key to see if they can find it. Hours later, they come across the car in the Meatpacking District.
Now way back then you wouldn’t want to be caught in the Meatpacking District late at night. For a start, remember that they call it that because they used to cut up animals there. After midnight there would be workers in hazmat suits hosing blood into the gutter, tranny hookers wandering the streets - actual gangs owned the place after dark back then. So the car is a mess; everything that could be lifted has been stolen, a window has been smashed so that a bum could sleep in the backseat, there’s graffiti all over it. It’s virtually salvageable, but not quite.
Goose’s boss is angry but feels like this is a teachable moment. So he takes a spray paint can to the car and writes “JGB Puts” and “Long Nat Gas” on the side in huge letters and says Goose has to drive it around for the next month. This stuff is sort of inside baseball, but what he wrote on the car refers to “widowmakers” or trades that never work.
Of course it backfires, because Goose loves driving the car, and his boss gives up within a week.
18) One of Goose’s favorite sayings was, “I’d better get a hug”
This didn’t always work out well, but generally had a good hit ratio. In 2010, he was at someone’s birthday party on Jones Square and one of the guests of honor starts throwing up on himself while sitting on a throne, wearing a crown. The birthday boy was such a legend on Wall Street, no one could figure out whether he was doing it on purpose and whether this was part of the official proceedings or not. But when there’s no second act, we start to leave. We walk out of one bar within this giant club and into another and Goose is like, hold on give me five minutes and he walks backwards and starts talking to a Perfect Ten he had first met walking in and had immediately asked for a hug. A minute later, they shoot off to the bathroom together, and ten minutes later he comes back, swinging his shoulders like a boss. [short pause] It wasn’t even 8pm.
Jones Square doesn’t exist anymore. Goose partied there one night and after that they decided to name it after him.
19) I’m going to keep this one in the reserve book for later, in case these stories jog some memories out there and we decide to do another episode on Goose. Let’s move onto...
20) When I met Goose I was as good as married, so didn’t see him in action as much as witness the result of his efforts. So I asked him one time how he managed to have so many friends and meet so many women. Remember this is before online matchmaking took off, so it took actual spade-work to establish a meaningful relationship with someone back then. He said it was simple - most of the time he’d just people he liked their smiles. If nothing came of it, then it was still a win - because he had brightened up someone’s day, and that is consequential in itself.
The Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson has pointed out you’ll probably know at least a thousand people in your life. And they’ll know a thousand. Do the math and you’re one person away from a million people and two persons away from a billion.
The point is, what you do and don’t do is far more important than you think.
So, even if you didn’t know Goose, you probably knew someone like him, because his story is as old as time. Do your friend’s memory justice and go give someone a simple compliment today. See them smile... And watch the ripples move outward.
Episode 43 - A Reflection on Networking.
Let’s start off by picturing two salesmen who arranged to meet at Pastis after the market closed one day.
The first knew exactly what an important place he held in the financial system. He recognized that he was a key part of the infrastructure for individuals to access the markets. He was humble. He took his job seriously. From all accounts, he had a high level of integrity and treated his peers with respect.
The second was nothing like that. As a child his family used to put a cardboard refrigerator box around him so he wouldn't bother other kids. A client once told him if he ever needed to leave this business he could be an animal tamer.
So the two of them are downtown waiting for some other guests from a firm called Gabelli. Trying to negotiate rates with Gabelli was like dealing with a barrel of angry monkeys that you’ve just spent all morning throwing your poop at. And they were bringing an analyst who used to totally lose the plot if anyone questioned his models. If you dared to do this, it was like you had just force-fed him a whole bag of eight balls...
Jesus Bob, no one cares about cell D26 - just tell us how you think iPhone sales are.
So, to ease the tension, the two of them decide to tell jokes.
The first starts off,
A man, who barely made it through the recent crash, called his stockbroker the next day and asked, "May I speak to Mr. Spencer, my broker, please?"
The operator replied, "I'm sorry. Mr Spencer is deceased. Can anyone else help you?" The man said no and hung up.
Ten minutes later he called again and asked for Mr. Spencer, his broker. The operator said, "You just called a few minutes ago, didn't you? Mr. Spencer has died. I'm not making this up." The man again hung up.
Fifteen minutes later he called a third time and asked for Mr. Spencer. The operator was irked by this time. "I've told you twice already, Mr. Spencer is dead. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he's dead?"
The man replies, "I just like hearing it..."
Laughing, the other salesperson chimes in,
Young Chuck bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad News, the donkey died.' Chuck replies, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer says, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck replies, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
While the first sales person is still laughing and thinking that one through, he starts doing Chuck Norris material
Chuck Norris thinks the Sovereign Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.
Chuck Norris doesn't hedge. He waits.
Chuck Norris rubs the VIX into his chest.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris thinks the ECB should toughen up and buy some real bonds.
Chuck Norris still has his PB balances with Lehman.
Let me pause the story here and explain why these two very different sales people might talk to each other like this.
Many people don’t realize the key idea driving the best people on Wall Street is not to sell, but rather to work at building relationships. This in turn leads to a longer-lasting series of sales or a referral.
If you want to work in finance, you should understand that there really is no such thing as a “born” salestrader… it’s an acquired skill, that is being constantly fine-tuned.
A common misconception about sales is “I was lucky because I was at the right place at the right time”.
This is not only unhelpful, but untrue. Instead, you should recognize it’s up to you to put yourself in the right place at the right time.
Yes, there is some homework that needs to be done to put yourself in the right place. First make sure you are up to date on all events occurring in your area. This includes business and charity fixtures. Once you have made a determination which event you’re going to go, investigate the attendees’ profiles on LinkedIn and see who would be good to connect with.
When you meet them, pay attention. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you need to know; listen to them hard enough, so that they will share it with you.
Dress like the person you want to be. But remember it’s better to be well-spoken than well-groomed.
Be a “joiner”. Select a nonprofit that you are passionate about and start working with the organization. Try to be active with the charity itself - you have so much more to offer than writing a check.
Read everything you can about the business you’ve chosen and when you come across an article of interest don’t hesitate to forward to a new relationship. The note just has to say FYI.
Research your alumni directory to locate former students who are still in your area, as you already have a common bond with these people.
Yes, business is difficult today. It may feel like a bunch of traders are just standing around in a circle shooting each other, but market structures are evolving - you should as well.
Episode 44 - Tarzan in the City
I recently heard Pastis reopened at 52 Gansevoort. Now if you didn’t live in New York City back in the early 2000’s, you may think, so what? A new restaurant opens every week right?
But it’s more important than you think.
Pastis was one of the first decent New York restaurants to open their doors in the Meatpacking District. It was such a fixture that it became the anchor you would measure distance by down there. No one had Google Maps back then, so you would simply tell people, “Meet me at the Hog Pit, across the Street from Pastis.” or “I’ll be at the Manhole, it’s 2 blocks north of Pastis”
You wouldn’t want to get those two mixed up by the way.
The Hog Pit was owned by some sons of an important advertising executive; they were rich kids who dressed in t-shirts and flip flops before Silicon Valley made that look acceptable for the very wealthy. In the early 2000s when people got too drunk and were kicked out of other bars, they ended up at the Hog Pit. Before it moved up to 26th Street, you couldn’t do anything wrong at this place. I walked in one time and some guy is vomiting under the table, while his girlfriend is laughing and pouring beer over him; she catches my eye, then grabs my hand and pushes it down her pants, saying “touch this to see how soft it is.” I remember flipping open my Razorphone with my other hand to double check the time and it wasn’t even 9 o’clock.
Anyway, last week when I heard Pastis had reopened, I thought I’d better head down there to jog my memory a bit. So we get a 6-person reservation at the new Pastis and turn up as 12 just to see what happens. The guys I’m with are old-school sales traders, basically farm animals who stumbled out of Staten Island into the business, back when sheer force of will was enough to make you unstoppable. A couple of hours later, these people are all eating bloody steaks with their fingers, we’re spilling beer all over the place, french fries covered in ketchup are being thrown across the table to get someone’s attention, one of my guests goes to the bathroom and slaps every person’s ass on the way there and back, and it didn’t matter if it was a guy or a girl... It was a shitshow.
But here’s the thing. Yes, we couldn’t have been worst guests. But no one apart from our waitress paid us the least amount of attention. There’s chaos all around us.
Pastis was mayhem all over again.
And this is what this Podcast is about... It’s the preview to something I’m working on about Pastis, before it was replaced by a Restoration Hardware. But it also recalls a city that was dangerous… when you needed to keep your head on a swivel and have friends around you with grit and character.
Our story starts off properly back in the year 2003.
Two sales traders were trying to get a big state pension fund manager to set them up as a counterparty. In those days, it was a trader who was the gatekeeper to the firm. They’ve tried everything; inviting him to conferences, calling with flow on their public filings, turning his Bloomberg and Reuters research access on. But nothing works.
But one day out of the blue, the trader, who we’ll call Tarzan going forward, gets bored and cold calls them. He dials up the firm
"Hi, who’s the best sales trader on the floor?"
The first trader who picks up the phone says, “that’s me”
Tarzan makes some small talk, “What good sports teams are there at the moment?”
The sales trader responds, “I like the Giants this year. We’re having a tailgate at the next game”
Tarzan says, “Good how do I get there?”
The sales trader snaps back, “we could send a limo”
Tarzan says, “Cool, send it over around and I’ll bring my girlfriend”
So the two sales traders jump into action, get good seats and a top shelf crew together for the tailgate. Remember they’ve never met Tarzan before and have no idea what to expect.
Tarzan turns up at the Giants parking lot and in five minutes he’s left his girlfriend by the makeshift bar and has somehow procured a cooler bike. Now Tarzan is 6 foot five. Watching Tarzan ride a cooler bike around in circles is like seeing a bear ride a tricycle. But it’s got a bit more torque than expected and he wipes out on it, sending ice and beer all over the ground and breaking one of the tail lights.
Everyone laughs, but Tarzan is more sensitive than you’d expect for a guy that size and he blushes a little and rides the cooler bike off in shame.
As he disappears into the crowd, both sales traders look at each other in confusion as to where their star client just went. They go ask his girlfriend, who we’ll call Jane going forward, but she just shrugs her pretty shoulders and wants to know which one of them is going to help her do a keg stand.
Tarzan drives the beer bike to the end of the row of cars and is about to turn around to head back when he sees a group of high school cheerleaders and on a whim decides to head over that way instead. The cheerleaders are raising money for a local Newark school. Which one is lost to time, but Tarzan beelines over there in his scooter and tells them to head over to his Wall Street tailgate and they’ll make bank. They say sure and the group of them start making a circuitous route back the way he came.
Skip forward a couple of hours, the game is about to start, and the sales traders look up from Jane’s ass and wonder where the hell Tarzan is for the first time. They put this big tailgate on for him, but the first thing he does is steal half the beers on a scooter with a broken tail light.
There’s a bit of a commotion down the way and Tarzan comes into view around the corner wearing an Elvis suit, all in white including the sunglasses. He’s trailed by the high school cheerleaders and another school marching band banging drums. The cheerleaders are doing flick-flacks and high-fiving people as they dance around him. Tarzan makes his way down to the tailgate, still driving the cooler bike with his knees up by his giant shoulders… the guy left a zero and comes back a hero.
The girls have come to do a special cheer for the Wall Street tailgate, and they’re already stoked, the day is a win regardless, because they’ve covered their annual school budget by hanging out with Tarzan for just a couple of hours.
Tarzan arrives, hangs a hard right turn, and wipes out in front of everyone again.
As he’s brushing the dirt of the Elvis suit, his girlfriend runs over and slaps him really hard in the face for leaving her for 2 hours. The cheerleaders bristle and run to his defense, but Tarzan tells them not to worry, that women are always mad about something and he doesn’t pay any attention to it.
A half hour later, the entire Tailgate has found their seats in the stadium. Tarzan and Jane are kissing like a couple of teenagers in the front row. Another fan taps one of the sales traders on the shoulder and asks what’s up with his guest making out in public like that. Tarzan overhears them and turns back to say, that was nothing, just a field goal… wait to see what kind of show they’ll get once the Giants score a touchdown. [short pause]
In 2003 however the Giants are busy finishing their season on an eight-game losing streak, so it’s time to bring this episode to a close as well. We’ll pick up next week when the entire circus leaves the game and makes their way to Pastis for the afterparty.
Episode 45 will be out soon. If this podcast brought back a memory of New York City, then share that recollection with a friend. And if it didn’t, then share it anyway, because we’re just getting started here.
Episode 45 - Pastis.
If there’s a better example of how New York City has changed than the fact that the restaurant Pastis was replaced by a Restoration Hardware store… well, I can’t think of one.
For those of you who are tuning in for the first time, this is part of a series about a protagonist and fixture of New York City nightlife who we decided to call “Tarzan”.
Back in 2003 Tarzan was a trader for an important investment fund. As stock holding periods fell, the Buyside rose to prominence and started trading more with the big banks. The Buyside trading job went from essentially being a clerk position to a seat that held the keys to the firm through their control over the commissions paid to the Street. So Tarzan surfed the wave and gained credibility around the financial community, but more importantly he was a force of nature outside of it. Tarzan pops up in several of our previous episodes, most notably in Episode 13 “The Numbers Game”.
Episode 44 concluded with Tarzan and a couple of sales traders from a big brokerage firm leaving a Giants game and making their way to Pastis for an after-party. Tarzan tells his new friends he’ll meet them at the restaurant after he goes back to his apartment, discards his Elvis costume, and works off a little tension with his girlfriend Jane. We’ll come back to Tarzan later, because his sales traders were a couple of real characters that you need to get acquainted with.
Let’s call the first sales trader Ed and the second sales trader “The Jewish JFK”. Amongst other remarkable idiosyncrasies, during the Financial Crisis the Jewish JFK had a moat built around his Hamptons house and drove a Massarati with vanity plates that said “Lehman Puts”.
Both of them took clients out at least three or four times a week and were plugged into the New York social scene better than anyone I knew in those days. They had a reputation as a team that could get a table at the Last Supper.
Back then there was no OpenTable, so there were two ways to get a reservation - either have your assistant call constantly and wait on the phone forever, or just turn up and slip the maitre’d a C-Note. The Jewish JFK would only spend other people’s money, so he went the phone route, while Ed preferred the latter because he was the sort of man who lived in the moment. Ed would also drop tips to all the bus boys.
As an aside, you should try that one day; Give a lowly busboy a twenty and watch how quick the rest of the staff jump to attention for the rest of your time at the restaurant. The word TIPS actually stands for “To Insure Prompt Service”... Front-load your tips and your night will work out beautifully.
In any case, Ed arrives at Pastis with a view to taking charge and grabbing a big table for the rest of the team, who are still arriving in gypsy cabs from the Giants game. But unbeknownst to him, Nicole Miller is having a post-fashion-show dinner party that night and the place is jammed.
Ed’s money buys him no credibility here, and even he - someone you’d have to poke with a sabre to impress - is a bit overawed at the patrons. James Gandolfini’s there drinking his margaritas, Gérard Depardieu is porking up on french fries… David Bowie, William Dafoe, Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler… Bruce Willis is back behind the bar again, pouring shots for half the cast of Sex in the City. [short pause] An hour later Cyndi Lauper will be dancing on a table in the middle of the restaurant.
Ed’s standing there a bit stunned and wondering what he’s going to do with his entourage when they arrive from the Giants game. To be turned away from a restaurant was the worst thing that could happen back then and in fact may even jeopardize his business if he doesn’t have this squared away before his client Tarzan gets back from knocking the lunch out of Jane.
Then someone throws him a life vest.
This is worth another quick diversion. A couple of years before our story takes place, someone had sent the actor Matthew Modine to the famous mob restaurant Rao’s, in East Harlem. He gets there only to be told “every table is taken” [Italian mob accent]. Unsure what to do with himself he’s sort of milling around when Ed wanders out to smoke a cigarette and strikes up a conversation. Ed points out that the management at Raos had probably turned him away to test him and he should just walk back in there and say “Joey Eggplant” sent him. Modine tries that and sure enough the guy at the front says fine - that he should “go have a drink with Suspenders” at the bar. A half hour later he has a table next to Ed’s and by the end of the night the two groups are getting on so well the staff want to know whether they are going to quieten down, or whether they should move the nearby mobsters to another table.
But let’s bring this back to Pastis again. Matthew Modine spots Ed and waves him over. Modine greets him with a hug and he’s instantly accepted by the star-studded crowd.
In no time, Ed has all these famous people enraptured, telling jokes but also strategically stopping to listen intently to the right people at the right time - by the first hour, he’s the life of this party.
Mid-story he looks across the crowd that has formed around him and a very famous black actor is staring daggers right at him. He racks his brain to try to remember if he’s said anything racist.
It’s quite possible he has. But Ed is not racist, in fact he’d be one of the least bigoted people you have ever met - because he loves and hates everyone equally. No one gets a free pass, white or black, man or woman, gay or straight. In Ed’s mind, having no preconceptions of people you meet is the measure of a first-rate intellect, and he’s right.
But it’s a disconcerting situation. The crowd starts to notice, so he knows he’s going to be forced to address it. Eventually he fixes the actor with a look and reaches out his hand in greeting, perhaps to make peace if he’s genuinely offended him. The actor looks at his hand, ignores it and continues his death stare at Ed. It’s super uncomfortable for everyone. This guy has done a bunch of action movies. Good ones, the kind of movies that make you think he’s actually a tough guy in real life. But the moment passes and the black actor eventually drifts off while Ed continues entertaining the crowd.
An hour later, Ed bumps into the actor again at the top of the stairs that lead down to the Pastis bathrooms. This time it’s just the two of them. Ed’s been having a great time and certainly doesn’t want to have ruined anyone else’s night with a careless word or ten. Ed puts his big hand on the guy’s shoulder and tries for a joke - he tells the actor that he’s not even white, he’s Italian, and then he asks if they’re good.
The actor looks straight through him and Ed realizes there’s not actually an issue with something he said earlier, the guy is just totally bombed. He’s literally catatonic from drinking to much. Having been there a hundred times himself, Ed knows the best thing to do in a situation like this is to give the guy space, so he steps back and let’s the inebriated actor walk ahead of him to the stairs. The guy stumbles forward, misses the first two steps and hurtles downward, taking out two staff members and a patron on the way.
There’s an enormous crash and a scream, activity in the restaurant freezes and this is the exact moment that Ed’s partner, the Jewish JFK, walks into Pastis, calm as a Hindu cow.
The Jewish JFK has taken in the entire scene. He disinterestedly skips over the fashion and media elite of New York City, to see Ed agape at the top of the stairs looking at the disaster of tangled arms and legs down below him. The Jewish JFK meets Ed’s eyes, gives a little grin and, in a piece of expertly-executed-theater, yells out, “That asshole just pushed a black guy down the stairs!!”
For the first time in his life, Ed’s at a loss for words.
The Jewish JFK marches over there and several of the younger male patrons bounce over to back him up as he confronts Ed for supposedly throwing one of their actor buddies down the stairwell. The Jewish JFK is a wanna-be-Patrick-Bateman. He’s over 6 foot with barely an ounce of fat on him on his worst day, but Ed is a big guy too and they line up eye to eye. Remember, they’re supposed to be colleagues and even friends, but Ed’s not someone who’s above bashing a fellow employee if they cross him in the wrong way.
Ed’s like, “what if I did?”
And the Jewish JFK smiles and says, “that’s no problem, I made a reservation at a new place called Spice Market in case something like this happened. Let’s skip out on the bill”
Episode 47 - Junior.
A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me when I thought I’d run out of things to lie about.
I had to ponder that for a while. I’ve always taken refuge in the concept of an autobiographical novel, which I interpret as allowing a little artistic license while trying to convey the essential truth about this time period. The concept of the autobiographical novel also helps mitigate the inevitable misinterpretations and exaggerations when you are interviewing people who are ten beers in.
When I relayed that excuse to a sober friend of mine, he said, quite reasonably, that’s fine, but you still can’t push a guy down a stairwell at Pastis that wasn’t even there.
Indeed. It got me thinking though... If you’ve forgotten more things than most people will ever experience in our current sanitized version of New York, who should you blame for that? The beer or the bartender?
Being a little ADD - which is a casualty of employment on Wall Street - this then led me to wonder, why do people drink too much in the first place? [short pause]
You do stupid things when you’re drunk, you hurt yourself, you compromise your health, it’s really hard on the people around you, you tend to turn into a liar and it screws up your life. It’s really the only drug we know of that makes people violent.
But it’s fun.
It makes you more extroverted and enthusiastic, more full of positive emotion and it reduces anxiety. It’s the right drug for the moment.
This podcast is about one of those moments. It’s the sequel to an episode on Pastis and centers around three traders. One of the traders was named Ed.
Ed’s idea of moderation was to mix his Jack Daniels with Dr Pepper. The other trader we refer to as “The Jewish JFK”. On any given day for the Jewish JFK it was not enough for him to succeed, others must also fail. One of my favorite anecdotes about The Jewish JFK was that he once hired a hooker to sleep with the opposing quarterback the night before a college game he had gambled on.
Let’s move on with the story. After skipping out on the bill at Pastis, Ed and the Jewish JFK make their way over to Spice Market.
Both of them are trouble waiting for a place to happen… And then they meet me.
Now back in 2003 I wasn’t even on the wrong side of thirty years old yet, but improbably I had found myself running an equity trading desk for a large hedge fund. I had sort of stumbled into the position while passing through New York City. The fact that I knew zero about finance meant nothing; nobody on trading desks did back then. It was as blue-collar-a-job as you could get on Wall Street. Literally, you’d just write down what someone at the firm told you, relay that same information on the phone to a bank, write down whatever numbers they called you back with, and then check the two things you wrote down looked the same. We didn’t even have order management software back then. That was all there was to the job.
Assuming I’d eventually get exposed for the fraud I indeed was, I had decided to see how much I could drink in the interim. According to Ed, this is where he first met me - I’m ordering $500 bottles of Japanese rice wine on other brokers’ Wall Street expense accounts and then dropping shots of them into well beers, yelling out “saké bomb!” at the top of my voice to sycophantic cheers around me. Several of us have tied white serving napkins around our foreheads.
Ed says he found me at the bar with a mortgage trader from another fund, named Howie Rubin. If that name seems familiar to you, it’s because years later the paper of record - the New York Post - will report Rubin secretly built a dungeon in his apartment, then raped and beat women there while his wife and children ate dinner upstairs. I don’t like to talk about people on the record, but I’ll make an exception for this guy.
The two of us are arguing about the Iraq War. My case was pretty simple; I think it’s a bad idea to march the second-most-hated army in the Arab world into the center of the Middle East, with a plan that involves no one shooting at them. On top of that I was a Halliburton conspiracy theorist and a bit of a sanctimonious prick, so I’m basically unbearable to be around back then.
Howie Rubin’s no fun either though. Not only have I worked him into a lather about the Iraq War, in retrospect the little sadomasochist was also fantasizing about attaching car batteries to all the women around us, once he’s made enough money to build his obscene Penthouse dungeon.
Ed arrives at the Spice Market bar, tells me to shut the fuck up about a war I know nothing about, and we soon bond over drinking tactics to get hammered as fast as we can.
Ed and I are both about the same amount of retarded, so we get on well, but Howie Rubin keeps sticking his nose into our conversation. Rubin works for a famous fund. I won’t say which one here, because no one deserves to be associated with vermin like that, but he’s an important enough fixture that he’s used to getting his own way. When the full story on Jeff Epstein comes out, you’ll no doubt see similar profiles in the sort of entitled behavior that leads to the unconscionable abuse of young women.
Anyway, Rubin keeps saying more and more unacceptable things to the waitresses and random girls as they pass by. His comments start off sort of funny, but get creepier as the night goes on. He also gets more physical with them and this ends up being the tipping point for Ed, who subsequently confronts him.
Ed tells Rubin if he touches another woman like that in his presence, Ed’s going to touch him back. That he’ll learn the hard way that words are free, but actions have consequences.
Rubin is surrounded by brokers who want to do business with his firm and thinks Ed’s just another sales trader. With a little liquid courage behind him, Rubin pokes a finger hard into Ed’s chest.
I want to take a brief diversion here. Stick with me.
A couple of months ago I met a SARC. I had no clue what a SARC was and you probably have no idea either, so allow me to explain. SARC is a military acronym. The “S” stands for Special, as in Special Forces. “A” stands for Amphibious, but he tells me there’s no water in Afghanistan so he mostly jumped out of airplanes. “R” stands for Reconnaissance. And “C” for Corpsman, which is the equivalent of a military EMT. So, not only is this guy some sort of ninja, he patches up the good guys once he’s done killing everyone else.
Anyway, this SARC walked me through something known as an “E.O.F.” [each or “Escalation of Force”. He said the way to most easily manage a confrontation was by following “The Four S’s”.
First you “Shout”, if only to get someone’s attention.
Next is “Show” - if you’re armed, let people know that.
Next is “Shove”. This gives you tactical space and demonstrates to the person that you mean business.
And lastly “Shoot”, which is self explanatory.
When Rubin poked Ed, he’d gone from zero to 60 in two seconds… straight to the third stage of conflict without even realizing it. At worst he probably thinks this might escalate into a little half-hearted pushing match and that the crowd or security will quickly separate them. But that’s not how Ed operates. After the market closes, Ed doesn’t care who you work for or what you do during the day.
I suspect the statute of limitations is up on what happened next… but in any case this is not my circus, and not my monkeys, so I’ll continue.
Ed punches Howie Rubin clean in the nose. It sounds like a watermelon hitting the ground.
In one smooth motion, Ed then grabs Rubin with his other hand to stop him falling, and carries him out of Spice Market. Ed’s companion, the Jewish JFK, told me he’s seen salmon in a grizzly's mouth look less panicked than Rubin as he’s being dragged out to the street. The doorman step to either side and Ed sends Rubin over the railing on the stairs that led up to the front door.
Then we go back to the bar to hit the bottle… it hits us back twice as hard… and I blacked out as normal.
Episode 47 - Compliance Culture.
Amanda was an assistant on the trading desk at is a firm called BRUT
BRUT was an exchange for trading stocks, but also one of the first ATS’s or “Alternative Trading Systems” that were trying to disrupt the NYSE and Nasdaq business models. In six months they had gone from trading 6 million shares a day to over 50 million. They charged 6 cents a share for the buyside to trade through them and 2 cents for the sell-side.
This sort of business has what’s known as “operational leverage” - that is, once established, it could ramp up activity without adding much in the way of variable costs; perhaps a nice way of saying they had a business model that didn’t involve hiring many more people as they grew. Operational leverage is one of the reasons men make more money than women on Wall Street - if you are an engineer or a trader and work in a business that can scale up to serve thousands or millions of transactions, you can demand more money. If you’re more people-focused, that restricts the number of interactions you have, and therefore how much money you can make. While women are more interested in people, men tend to be more focused on things, so gravitate towards businesses that are more scalable.
Amanda was interested in people, but also in things. Long story short, she found herself on the trading desk of a business that was so profitable the Nasdaq ended up buying it to defend the monopoly-like position that they still hold on the US financial system.
The employees at BRUT were all young and I guarantee they never made that much money again for the rest of their lives. The company literally couldn’t spend it. The CEO used to come onto the trading desk at the close to ask who was going out that night, then he’d throw his credit card on the desk and ask them to keep it under 20 grand. Imagine being in your 20s and having an open credit card to spend as much money as you can on a city that was just getting its feet back after 9/11. They used to go apeshit, but were just too young to know what to do with it, so most of the time they’d just go to the Moran’s Happy Hour. I feel obliged to point out that Moran’s is now a PJ Clarks… so I must be rambling again; let’s get on with the story.
In 2002, while much of the bleeding associated with the Internet crisis had halted, Wall Street was still rapidly shedding overpaid sales traders. Since almost all sales traders were overpaid, a lot of people were getting fired and Amanda saw this an opportunity, because BRUT was doing comparatively well, but also she didn’t make enough money to make it worth firing her.
So one day she plucks up her courage and approaches an important sales trader we’ll refer to as Junior. She asks Junior to give her some career advice and he says sure, that she should come over at the close of trading and see what he’s been working on all day.
Amanda is excited - this is her chance to understand what makes a sales trader tick and hopefully some of the sophistication that must be necessary for such an important job will rub off on her.
4pm rolls around, Amanda grabs her notepad and a pen, as well as a spare of both just in case.
She approaches Junior and demurely asks if this is a good time - and he says sure, take a seat. He turns his screen towards her, opens up a draft email and there’s a photo of a baby with a bonnet. On the baby’s head he has superimposed the CEO’s face and the picture is surrounded by grilled cheeses. In big type at the bottom of the picture are the words, “U R Gay”.
He’s spent all day working on this and wants to know what Amanda thinks.
Amanda’s confused… because this is confusing. She asks if he’s really been working on this all day and if so what is he going to do with it?
Junior says he’s planning on emailing it to his entire client list tomorrow morning and then calling them to say he needs another yellow Ferrari, and he can’t have one unless they do more business with the firm.
Junior drives a Honda Accord, but he thinks this plan is going to be a home run. She should come over to his desk tomorrow and watch how well it works.
The next morning, Amanda finds Junior, giddy as a school boy. He bangs off the email and a minute later the phone rings with some hedge fund trader laughing his ass off. They shoot the shit a little, another phone rings and Junior’s like, [deep gravelly voice] “I gotta go, more important client on Line 2.”
This repeats 30 times in as many minutes and Junior has a record day of business by the time the market closes.
Amanda thinks to herself, “hmmmm, so this is sales”.
Amanda and Junior become friends.
Amanda is girl-next-door hot, so Junior would often make a run at her late at night when they were out drinking, but when he did, she'd just whack him in the nuts with the flat of her hand or a Heineken sticker.
Later that year there was a big trading conference in Nashville. There’s a bucking bronco at one of the bars and the two of them are happy as a dog with two dicks, drinking beer and pushing their fellow employees into the little baby pool next to it.
A little flushed with beer and the warmth that only comes with a new friendship, Amanda says to Junior, “I bet you won’t toast everyone with your shirt off.” [short pause]
“Well that’s done.”
Junior shotguns a couple more beers, then pulls his t-shirt off, which acts as a call for silence.
Junior is 6 foot two and his torso has been sculpted into the man people see in front of them by a lifetime of heavy drinking. He’s also hairy, his entire body is a slightly off-color red from an unknown number of beers and a heavy layer of sweat covered his torso from the Nashville heat.
He raises his glass and begins his toast,
“Big Ships, Little Ships, There’s nothing like Friendships”
“Some Ships sail East. Some Ships sail West. But the best Ships are Friendships. Of which I know best…
“There are good Ships and wood Ships , Ships that sail the sea, but the best Ships are friendships, may they always be!”
The crowd roars with approval and that would’ve been the end of it, just another night out drinking.
But then Junior walks over to the Chief Compliance Officer and starts rubbing the poor guy’s head into his sweaty, disgusting chest.
The CCO is a good guy and while he shrugs it off, you can tell he’s pissed. Junior probably would’ve gotten away with this, but a half hour later at dinner Junior sneaks up behind him again, and pulls his t-shirt over his head.
Junior holds him under there for entirely too long and less people laugh this time.
The next day, top management take Junior aside and say that they know he was having a bit of fun, but that they want him to apologize. Through the haze of his hangover, Junior is somewhat abashed and he says no problem, that he’ll do so at the start of their final dinner that night, before anyone has had too much to drink.
Amanda however has a 24-year-old’s excitement to be in a new city and wants to cause trouble. She and some clients hit Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge around 2pm and like a moth to a flame, Junior is there at 2.05 introducing them to a local brew called Heroes’s Vodka.
Skip forward to the dinner that night. The CEO is sitting at the head of the table with the Chief Compliance Officer next to him. They’re trying to appear engrossed in a conversation about business but keep glancing down to the end of the table where Amanda and Junior are giggling like a bunch of teenagers who think their parents don’t know that they’re drunk.
The CEO brings the table to order, thanks everyone for their efforts at the conference and says Junior has something to say before they get on with the dinner.
Junior sways to his feet and starts off sincere enough.
“I’m sorry you had to see that behavior last night. I should be more respectful to my fellow employees, I had too much to drink”
Etc etc…. But they’re just asking the wrong person to do this and Junior can’t hold it together.
He continues,
“The real measure of a man is how he treats people he doesn’t need. And even though we all know Wall Street compliance departments are a useless sop to Elliot Spitzer, designed to waste time and money, as well as annoy all our employees - not even lawyers should be treated the way I acted last night.”
“But you know what really surprised me? The little baby kisses when I put my shirt over his head… and then when my nipples hardened in his mouth.”
Episode 48 - The Perfect Crime
At some stage in your life, hopefully when you were younger, you probably wondered, what’s the perfect crime?
According to someone from the office, it’s goes something like this,
I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I take down the chandelier. It’s priceless.
As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany.
I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides I like the cold.
Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover.
I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin.
That’s where I stashed the chandelier.
Not bad, but small beer. After all Charles Ponzi once sold the Eiffel Tower in a con.
The best scam I can personally think of was an exploitation of a MeToo issue before there was a MeToo. This is my understanding of what went down.
Both protagonists worked for a Greenwich hedge fund we’ll call Sunway.
We’ll call the first guy Dick, because it’s the world’s most Freudian name. Dick was as friendly as cancer. Proof that sometimes being a douche pays off. He wore a Rolling Stones tie at work because his wife caught him going down on their nanny. Not exactly a crook, but played the edges of the plate. He was educated beyond his intelligence, and evidence that men who crave power are best fitted for acquiring it and least fit for exercising it.
The second character was one of those irritating women who insist on introducing themselves as “Michele with one L” or “Sydney with a Y”. She was a feminist who kept dating strippers. The Queen of Hearts, pure lust. Not exactly a hooker but opportunistic, and could suck your penis off your pelvis. Was into ass-licking before Millennials made ass-licking a thing. She was also a hundred miles from smart. Failed the Series 7 like ten times. One more wit and she’d be a half-wit. An inspiration to other slow adults. Special in a retarded sort of way, but talented at making a mess.
Dick ran an equity portfolio for Sunway and had done well despite notoriously bad personal behavior. This in itself wasn’t unusual back then - an earlier lawsuit involving Doubleline’s Jeff Gundlach had already proved you can stick as many dildos in your ass as you want, but if you make money for someone on Wall Street you’ll be fine.
Michele worked on the Sunway trading desk. She was the sort of person that if you’d ask how they were doing, she’d reply she’d be better if she had a dick in her mouth. Basically brash, self-confident, not someone you wanted to mess with.
So it’s 2009, everyone is losing money, doesn’t matter if you’re long or short. Sunway is down 20% and Dick is responsible for a good chunk of those losses. He’s long stupid and short value.
He walks onto the trading desk and says he just bought an invisible-fence dog-collar and wanted to test it out on a human first. Everyone sort of laughed uncomfortably, but Michele volunteers, she puts the collar on, they set it to maximum strength and she runs through a couple of fence posts they had set up at the end of the trading desk. It’s like watching an octopus fall out of a tree. She screams so loud I bet some of the traders that were there can still hear it.
Dick walks over to her inert body and sings, “Roses are red, violets are blue - I need head… and you’ll do”.
As you can imagine the HR department went spastic. Dick gets called in there and explains they have nothing to worry about, that when a woman gets mad, you just tell her she’s overreacting and she calms right down.
And that ladies and gentlemen was the perfect crime on Wall Street - they fire him, she sues the firm for sexual harassment, then the two of them split the profits and walked away with millions.
Episode 49 - Goose III
Someone once explained to me why it seems like time speeds up as you get older. The reason it feels that way, is because time is speeding up. When you’re 5 years old, a year is a fifth of your life. If you’re in spitting distance of 50, a year is now a mere 2 percent of it. Einstein proved time and speed are relative - hell, you even age faster the higher you live above sea level - so yes, time speeds up as you get older.
Contemplating difficult concepts like time and age inevitably draw me back to memories of my late friend Goose, who I’ve written about several times in the past.
I pulled up his contact card in my phone recently and next to his given names, which will remain unsaid, I was surprised and pleased to see all the nicknames we had given him over the years. They read as follows,
"7-50, Monster, Tango, The Alligator, Mr Wall St, DeltaChi, Magician, Ocho, Jelly, Goose, Flipper, Witcher, Covenant, Amaaaaaazingggggggg"
Sadly, I couldn’t tell you what half of these referred to. But not being able to recall the rationale behind my best friend’s nicknames, arguably says more about me than him - I have heard marijuana impairs your short term memory and can in fact impair your short term memory [sic]. In any case, I prefer to reflect upon his many names as expressions of a short life that was well-lived.
Fortunately Goose was such a legend, various New Yorkers have been volunteering stories in homage, and this episode includes three of them.
The first involves the restaurant Bilboquet. The food in this Upper East Side fixture was so good it’d make Gandhi break a fast, but Goose didn’t eat there, because he had a strict rule against eating. His philosophy was you’re just wasting time and money eating at a restaurant, and if a girl ordered food, it meant she wasn’t serious about banging. He’d literally end dates on the spot if someone ordered food unexpectedly.
However, one year Goose found himself at Bilboquet every Tuesday for months because he was dating an older chick who insisted on being a regular there. I won’t say her name, but she got famous through reality TV.
The two of them are sitting at the restaurant one night and she keeps asking why Goose wasn’t open to marriage. They’re plowing through these huge glasses of pinot and Bilboquet has a 150 percent staff-to-guest ratio, so their drinks are getting filled up every time they glance in a different direction. Things are going well on Wall Street, Goose gets a bit of a heater on, and she just won’t leave the subject alone. She even drops the fact that one of the producers thinks she should get engaged for her stupid reality show.
Finally he’s like, “What do you want me to say; that you’re too old?”
The whole age thing had sort of been left unsaid in the past few months and silence is a relationship’s worst enemy, so to say she’s apoplectic would be an understatement. On top of that she’s in a constant state of stress and manufactured drama from hanging around the idiots on her reality show.
She stands up and throws a full glass of red wine all over his white dress shirt, then stomps out of the restaurant screaming incoherently at anyone in her path.
Goose is sort of sitting there stunned, but then thinks; to hell with it, I’m fucking staying. He orders from the menu for the first time, buys desserts for everyone in the restaurant, and later leaves to a sympathetic clap on the back from Robert DeNiro and a standing ovation from the rest of the patrons.
The next day he calls up the hottest chick he knows and asks if she can do him a favor and meet him at the restaurant the following week. It’s unclear if his ex-girlfriend turned up that night or not - I suspect she heard about the maître d' greeting him with an umbrella on the way to their usual table and thought better of going there anymore.
Moving on, a couple of weeks ago, I ran into my friend Tarzan. He was in town for maintenance on a couple of his “repeaters”, and between visiting the two girls, we caught up for a beer. I took the opportunity to ask him about Goose and it turns out the two of them actually met once. He tells me he left work one day at 4pm, walks into a bar called Session 73 on the Upper East Side and there’s no one there. It seems odd because he was supposed to meet friends for some event or another, but then Goose appears, sees Tarzan standing by himself, and bee-lines over to him.
Goose stretches out his hand and says, “Hi, we just set up the ice luge, want to join me out back?”
Tarzan follows Goose through a door to another bar and suddenly there’s a surge of activity. Music blasting and people everywhere. They make their way to a giant ice sculpture and there’s a Giants cheerleader, standing on a chair, pouring vodka down the carved luge into a Jets cheerleader’s mouth while the crowd roars. Turns out it’s Goose’s birthday and of course everyone wants to hang with him, but he does shots with his new best friend Tarzan, the night spins wildly out of control, and the two of them wake up wearing Roman helmets somewhere in Chinatown the next morning.
Hearing Tarzan tell that story, reminded me of the first time I met Goose. I was in San Francisco for a wedding. It’s one of those uncomfortable events where you’ve been invited as a date, but they know everyone and you know no-one. The guests are probably nice but they all went to college together and you don’t want to burden your partner too much as they catch up with people at what is essentially a reunion. I was also in that sort of uncomfortable period you go through in your 20’s, before you can just enjoy being alone and you really want to socialize with other people, but quite frankly don’t have that much to offer. On top of that, smartphones weren’t a thing back then, so you had to just stand around with your hands in your pockets and pretend to be interested in whatever was on the television on the wall.
Come to think of it, I actually had a cellphone with me, but it had no web browser and 90 percent of the time the phone rang it’d be for someone else.
“No John is not with me right now… he’s not even my roommate, he shouldn’t have given you this number”
So Goose sees me standing around like a dipshit and strides over to inquire if I’d like to do whisky shots with him.
Yes, yes I would.
And that was Goose. It didn’t make any difference what he was doing that night - if he was the birthday boy or the best man - if he saw someone outside his orbit uncomfortably looking in, he’d invite you over and make you feel like the most important person in the world.
Let’s shift gears a little. The next story is so good and such a reflection of character depth, that I can’t believe it took looking at his contact card to remind me of it.
For over a decade now, each year I have set myself ten New Year's Resolutions. I add them as calendar invites, so they pop up on the 1st of each month and I can monitor my progress. One of these is always, “organize surf trip somewhere interesting”. Now I can barely use a boogie-board, but I love the water and like to have an excuse to travel.
Goose invited himself on one of these trips and finds out about a surf spot called “Ollie’s Point” in Nicaragua. He tells me it’s where Oliver North dropped off weapons to the Contras and he’d like to see it. Longer story short, we’re traveling up and down the Pacific coastline and end up at a place called Witches’ Rock. Five or six of us jump off the boat and start paddling into the surf, which seems very manageable from behind the break.
As we’re paddling, I feel my surfboard rise and fall unexpectedly and I suddenly have a very bad feeling. It’s like some sort of huge fish had swum underneath me. It happens again and I realize the surf is not going to be manageable, it’s going to be huge, that you can’t judge the size of a wave from behind it, and guys like us have no business being out here. I turn to my friends and tell them to be careful, but these Wall Street types are all young, dumb and full of cum - they roll their eyes at me and paddle mindlessly into the break.
In no time, three of them have been washed into the beach by walls of whitewater and despite repeated, desperate attempts to get back to the boat, are now stuck on the beach, standing around hopelessly.
But this is the thing about Witches Rock. It’s surrounded by miles of jungle. You can’t walk out of there. You can barely drive out of there, even if you had a car. Which they don’t.
Goose and I are sitting on our boards out the back of the break. He’s already caught a couple of waves, expertly pulling off them before they closed out. I’ve done nothing but bob up and down like a kook.
Eventually it gets so heavy that even Goose stops paddling into waves. We sit there and stare curiously at our friends who are still standing on the beach. All these guys are in good shape, but their boards are too big to duck-dive and quite frankly the surf is just too heavy for them. Goose turns to me and says, we need to paddle in and help them get back out to the boat.
A little shamefully, I refuse. I tell Goose if I paddle in with him to help these guys, I don’t think I can get out again - that he’ll end up having to save four people instead of three.
Goose says that’s fine and he understands my choice, but one of us has to go. He picks a smaller wave and planes his way into the beach. He joins my three friends on the sand, explains it’s going to be getting dark soon, and that this is their only way out. All three are exhausted but with his encouragement and help timing the larger sets, they struggle out far enough that the boat crew can pull them out of the water with a Zodiac. The inflatable skips nimbly from under a giant set of waves that would’ve taken them all out, and the three were saved.
There’s no room on the Zodiac for Goose. He was last out of the water.
And that was Goose - the world’s best wingman.
Episode 50 - The Lido Room
My first apartment in New York was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. This is before there were any hipsters or high-rises and I had to trudge through the snow from the L train to South 2nd Street, trying not to meet any of the locals’ eyes, to my dodgy walk-up apartment. The year I arrived in the city, Time Out featured Williamsburg on their cover as the next SoHo - I remember thinking, yeah right, this place is, and always will be, a shithole.
Shows what I know I guess.
My second apartment was in Manhattan. It was on the lower floor of a big building in Midtown. Not exactly the coolest place to live and the beer was more expensive, but close to work and even having an elevator was a luxury to me back then.
So I’m doing laundry in the basement the first weekend I moved in. I don’t really have any friends in the city yet and nowhere to be. Not a care in the world, happy enough to just sit around with a book, waiting to put my clothes in a dryer.
While I’m killing time, the laundry room starts filling up with attractive women. They’re chatting away to each other and giggling, not giving me a second glance.
Even more women arrive and they’re smokes as well - I’m talking New York Ten’s, It’s nerve-wracking being surrounded by so many beautiful girls; I feel like I’m on candid camera or something. Not confident enough to introduce myself to strangers yet, I pretend to be engrossed in whatever I was reading - the book now strategically placed on my lap.
Eventually a guy enters, sees me and gives a little laugh at the obvious insecure glances I keep giving the women around me. He comes over and says,
[deep Russian accent] “You like the girls, yes?”
I blush and nod.
“You stay away. They’re not for you.”
This gets my hackles up a bit. Oh yeah, why’s that pal?
“You want spend [sic] 500 an hour to get dick wet?”
Um, what did you just say there Soda Popinski??
“All these girls, they are doing the hooking”
Ahhhhhhh….
Turns out the top three floors of the building were all owned by a business called “Aida’s Escorts”. Aida did roaring trade at the high end of the prostitution market. All I did was work back then, clocking up 14 and 15 hour days in the office, but I remember a rare visit to my apartment around midday during the week and seeing convoys of flustered, happy men in suits coming out of the elevator.
Now, as I detail in Episode 5, I have my own reasons for not indulging in this sort of misconduct, but recalling Aida made me think of the most audacious illicit business you’ve never heard of...
In 2006 the economy was going gangbusters and so was Wall Street. I had been working at my hedge fund long enough that, for the most part, I surrounded myself with sales traders that I actually liked, but still had some legacy relationships from the prior trading operation.
One of these legacy sales traders was probably the worst person on Wall Street. Let’s call him Brad. He had started his career at Drexel and pioneered the idea of taking clients to the Super Bowl via private planes jam-packed with hookers. Brad then moved to a brokerage firm called DLJ.
Back then, DLJ was known as “The House that Research Built” but when they took over parts of Drexel, they inherited the sorts of people who had been in some dark caves. And when Credit Suisse subsequently bought DLJ, these guys spread around Wall Street trading desks like pancreatic cancer.
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The policies of Odebrecht S.A. are documents that result from the principles of TEO and other concepts and establish guidelines for a certain matter, which must be observed and followed by all members of Odebrecht S.A.. The policies serve as guidelines for the members of the boards of directors of Odebrecht subsidiaries appointed by the holding company, in alignment with the other board members, to approve and implement policies containing principles, concepts and other guidelines set forth and expressed in ODB's policies. However, supplementary documents and other guidelines required to adapt the policies to the characteristics of each respective Business and the interests of the other partners must also be produced.
Learn more about the policies below:
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Corporate Governance
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on People Management
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Sustainability
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Communication
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Risk Management
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Legal Affairs
Odebrecht S.A. Policy on Compliance in Acting Ethically with Integrity and Transparency
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Maps of Kensington and Chelsea
London X.29 - OS London Town Plan
Insurance Plan of London Western District Vol. A: sheet 32-1
1 : 480 This detailed 1901 plan of London is one of a series of forty-one sheets in an atlas originally produced to aid insurance companies in assessing fire risks. The building footprints, their use (commercial, residential, educational, etc.), the number of floors and the height of the building, as well as construction materials (and thus risk of burning) and special fire hazards (chemicals, kilns, ovens) were documented in order to estimate premiums. Names of individual businesses, property lines, and addresses were also often recorded. Together these maps provide a rich historical shapshot of the commercial activity and urban landscape of towns and cities at the time. The British Library holds a comprehensive collection of fire insurance plans produced by the London-based firm Charles E. Goad Ltd. dating back to 1885. These plans were made for most important towns and cities of the British Isles at the scales of 1:480 (1 inch to 40 feet), as well as many foreign towns at 1:600 (1 inch to 50 feet). Chas E Goad Limited Chas E Goad Limited
London (1915- Numbered sheets) VIII.4 (includes: Battersea; Chelsea; Kensington) - 25 Inch Map
London (First Editions c1850s) LIII (includes: Battersea; Chelsea; Kensington) - 25 Inch Map
London (1915- Numbered sheets) VIII.8 (includes: Battersea; Chelsea; Fulham) - 25 Inch Map
London (Edition of 1894-96) C (includes: Battersea; Chelsea; Fulham) - 25 Inch Map
London (First Editions c1850s) LXIV (includes: Battersea; Chelsea; Fulham) - 25 Inch Map
Insurance Plan of London South West District Vol. K: sheet 15
1 : 480 This detailed 1903 plan of London is one of a series of twelve sheets in an atlas originally produced to aid insurance companies in assessing fire risks. The building footprints, their use (commercial, residential, educational, etc.), the number of floors and the height of the building, as well as construction materials (and thus risk of burning) and special fire hazards (chemicals, kilns, ovens) were documented in order to estimate premiums. Names of individual businesses, property lines, and addresses were also often recorded. Together these maps provide a rich historical shapshot of the commercial activity and urban landscape of towns and cities at the time. The British Library holds a comprehensive collection of fire insurance plans produced by the London-based firm Charles E. Goad Ltd. dating back to 1885. These plans were made for most important towns and cities of the British Isles at the scales of 1:480 (1 inch to 40 feet), as well as many foreign towns at 1:600 (1 inch to 50 feet). Chas E Goad Limited Chas E Goad Limited
London X.NE - OS Six-Inch Map
Surrey II.SE - OS Six-Inch Map
Charles Booth's descriptive map of London poverty 1889
Charles Booth
London SW.
1 : 15840 Stanford, Edward
Thames and Metropolis Improvement plan
A PLAN of the ROADS Under the DIRECTION and CARE of this TRUST and divers Roads Adjacent.
1 : 16351 The title of this road map of Kensington and Chelsea appears in a panel above the plan, with the compass star at top right and scale bar at bottom left. The roads within the Kensington and Hyde Park Trust are indicated by a shadowed line; the king's private roads by a double line; the common roads by a double dotted line; and the footpaths by a single dotted line. Turnpikes and junctions are numbered for reference with distances given in a table down the left side of the plate. Roberts, R.
MAP OF THE WESTERN SIDE OF LONDON, DISTINGUISHING THE ESTATE OF HER MAJESTY'S COMMISSIONERS FOR THE EXHIBITION OF 1851.
1 : 21120 Map of Kensington with title along the top and scale bar below the plan. The site of the Great Exhibiton of 1851 in Hyde Park is highlighted in green. Day & Son
Insurance Plan of London West & West North West Vols. A & B: Key Plan
1 : 10560 This "key plan" indicates coverage of the Goad 1891 series of fire insurance maps of London that were originally produced to aid insurance companies in assessing fire risks. The building footprints, their use (commercial, residential, educational, etc.), the number of floors and the height of the building, as well as construction materials (and thus risk of burning) and special fire hazards (chemicals, kilns, ovens) were documented in order to estimate premiums. Names of individual businesses, property lines, and addresses were also often recorded. Together these maps provide a rich historical shapshot of the commercial activity and urban landscape of towns and cities at the time. The British Library holds a comprehensive collection of fire insurance plans produced by the London-based firm Charles E. Goad Ltd. dating back to 1885. These plans were made for most important towns and cities of the British Isles at the scales of 1:480 (1 inch to 40 feet), as well as many foreign towns at 1:600 (1 inch to 50 feet). Chas E Goad Limited Chas E Goad Limited
An exact survey of the city's of London Westminster , X
1 Blatt : 53 x 71 cm John Rocque
London Sheet N - OS Six-Inch Map
Middlesex XXI - OS Six-Inch Map
Surrey II - OS Six-Inch Map
Insurance Plan of London Western District Vol. A: Key Plan
Map shewing the situation of all premises licensed for the sale of intoxicating liquors in the County of London
London County Council
THE RAILWAY BELL AND THE ILLUSTRATED LONDON ADVERTISER MAP OF LONDON
This is a special edition of Biggs's map of London of 1842 for subscriber to the Illustrated London Advertiser. The map features title at the top superimposed to a view of the Thames at St Paul's and views of public buildings down both sides and along the bottom of the plan, with portraits of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert at bottom centre. Biggs, George
This untitled map of London features scale bar at top left. The city boundary is marked in red, with open land, such as parks and gardens, in green, and the Thames, docks and canals in blue. The map clearly labels the contemporary development of the railway lines, with the Birmingham railway shown intersecting the Regent's Canal at Camden Town. The canal, enthusiastically promoted by architect John Nash, was built to facilitate the import of goods from the provinces. Constructed at the beginning of the era of sustained railway development, however, it never fulfilled its potential and became obsolete.
TQ27 - OS 1:25,000 Provisional Series Map
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The College of the Arts Season Schedule
with the MSU Symphony Orchestra
MSU Opera
February 1st - February 2nd
More Information | Buy Tickets
What moral authority commands the decision to take a human life? MSU Opera explores Puccini’s answer in his favorite one-act opera Suor Angelica, and a radically different perspective by Viktor Ullmann in his rarely performed one-act Die Kaiser von Atlantis, composed in the Nazi ghetto of Theresienstadt. Fully staged and performed in Italian and German with English subtitles.
John J. Cali School of Music
Dear World
February 6th - February 9th
Book by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee.. Music and Lyrics by Jerry Herman. Directed by Robin Levine 4 Performances at Montclair Stat University.
A New Works Initiative
How to Mour the Dead: A Tragedy in Flux
February 20th - February 23rd
NWI (New Works Initiative) is made possible through the generous support of Bob and Holly Gregory. The world premiere, a new re-telling of Sophocles’ classic Antigone for an era be-sieged by Mass Media.
Department of Theatre & Dance
February 27th - March 1st
This debut play, from rising star Sarah DeLappe examines the complex lives of teenage girls who play together on the soccer team, The Wolves.
Spring Dance 2020
March 4th - March 7th
5 Performances at Montclair State University.
MSU Wind Symphony
Join conductor Thomas McCauley and the MSU Wind Symphony as they share the stage with conductor Bryan Stepneski and the Clifton High School Mustang Band for an exciting evening of music making. The MSU Wind Symphony portion of the program will include the music of Cindy McTee, Arturo Marquez, and the world premiere of a bassoon concerto by composer John Buckley, featuring Cali School faculty member Sasha Enegren.
MSU Symphony Orchestra
March 22nd
Performing Claude Debussy’s Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun, Benjamin Britten’s Four Sea Interludes from Peter Grimes, Katherine Balch’s Leaf Catalogue, and Beethoven’s Symphony No.4.
Dance Makers 2020
April 2nd - April 4th
4 Performances at Montclair State University presented by Department of Theatre & Dance.
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Home » News » Care & Safety
Confirmed Cases of Canine Influenza Spike in Michigan
By Samantha Schwab August 06, 2018 at 09:39PM
Image via Lindsay Helms/Shutterstock.com
Since last month, there have been 70 confirmed cases of canine influenza in Michigan, according to the Department of Agriculture and Rural Development (DARD). The first reported case in 2018 was on July 13th.
The number of reported cases in Michigan in 2018 comes as a striking contrast to 2017, when only 9 cases of the dog flu were reported to the state.
The DARD states that canine influenza, or dog flu, is a highly contagious respiratory infection in dogs caused by an influenza virus.
“Any time dogs come together in groups, there is a risk for disease,” Michigan’s state veterinarian, James Averill, DVM, PhD, tells DARD. “It’s important that dog owners work with their veterinarians to protect their dogs.”
The DARD reports that facilities where dogs gather have been advised to keep sick dogs away, clean and disinfect thoroughly, and recommend dog flu vaccines to pet parents.
Symptoms of canine influenza include fever, lethargy, coughing and nasal and/or eye discharge. If you notice these symptoms in your dog, you should contact your veterinarian as soon as possible.
For more interesting news stories, check out these articles:
Plans for 17,000-Square-Foot Indoor Dog Park Coming to Omaha
Recent Study Shows That Lavender Can Be Used to Calm Horses
Bronson the 33-Pound Tabby Cat Is on a Strict Diet to Shed Weight
Stray Dog Runs Impromptu Half-Marathon Alongside Runners, Earns Medal
Publix Grocery Store Chain Cracks Down on Service Animal Fraud
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The News Scroll 20 February 2018 Last Updated at 8:43 pm | Source: PTI
Indian, UK scientists discover origami-like farming solutions
Outlook February 20, 2018 20:43 IST Indian, UK scientists discover origami-like farming solutions
By Aditi Khanna
London, Feb 20 (PTI) Scientists from the UK and India have discovered a disposable diagnostic technology that uses paper folding, akin to origami, to process complex biochemical tests that can help farmers develop very low-cost diagnostics to improve the health of livestock.
In a paper published in the journal ACS Sensors, biomedical engineers, veterinary scientists and bacteriologists from Britain and India describe how the procedure helped farmers in India identify three separate reproductive infections in cattle.
The new technique provides a new method for identifying Brucella, Leptospira and bovine herpes virus-1 infections, which are particularly prevalent in India, along with many other countries in Asia, Africa and South America. All three infections can affect livestocks reproductive organs, reducing fertility and resulting in loss of milk production, with a significant impact on agricultural output.
"These folded pieces of wax-printed paper, which can be made using a standard printer, may look simple, but the unique properties of folded paper give us a highly reproducible method to capture samples and prepare them for testing," said Dr Zhugen Yang, biomedical engineering research fellow at the University of Glasgow and the lead author of the paper.
"The tests we conducted on farms showed excellent results, which were as good as similar reproductive disease tests conducted in laboratory conditions. Its a very encouraging result which shows future promise for veterinary medicine," said Yang, who undertook field trips to India.
Reproductive infections are difficult for farmers to diagnose through simple observation during the early stages, meaning infection can spread quickly during breeding season. Once infected cattle are identified, they must be destroyed, leading to disruptions in milk supply and incurring significant costs for farmers.
While there are molecular diagnostics tests currently available for these infections, they are time-consuming, expensive and require skilled technicians to administer them, meaning the tests cannot be undertaken in areas far from specialised facilities.
The new diagnostic technology, developed by researchers from the University of Glasgow, uses a commercially-available printer, which coats the paper in patterns made from water-resistant wax. When the paper is folded – like in the Japanese origami technique – the sample fluid is directed into channels in the pattern.
The folded-paper device enables the DNA of the pathogens to be detected, thus providing the ability to diagnose infections.
The technology was tested during two field trips to Izzatnagar in Uttar Pradesh, where the diseases have a particularly high prevalence.
Professor Jonathan Cooper, the University of Glasgows Wolfson Chair of Bioengineering, said: "Being able to quickly and affordably identify the most common reproductive diseases in cattle could help support agriculture in low- to middle-income countries."
"It could be of particular benefit in India, which is now the worlds largest dairy producer, contributing around 125 billion litres each year. Were very pleased with these results, and keen to move forward in making this technology available for vets and farmers in Asia, Africa and South America."
The new paper, titled Rapid Veterinary Diagnosis of Bovine Reproductive Infectious Diseases from Semen using Paper-Origami DNA Microfluidics, involved the team from the University of Glasgow collaborating with partners in the Indian Veterinary Research Institute and the Animal and Plant Health Agency in the UK.
The research was supported by funding from the Biotechnology and Biological Sciences Research Council (BBSRC), the Indian Governments Department of Biotechnology, the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC), and the European Research Council (ERC).
Disclaimer :- This story has not been edited by Outlook staff and is auto-generated from news agency feeds. Source: PTI
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Home Wales Children’s home youth worker used excessive force to restrain vulnerable teenagers, hearing...
Children’s home youth worker used excessive force to restrain vulnerable teenagers, hearing told
A children’s home worker pushed a vulnerable teenager and used excessive force to restrain them to the ground, a hearing was told.
It is alleged that between January 2017 and May 2017 there were three incidents where Sian Moses, 38, was involved in physical restraints of young people at the home she was working at.
Moses denies having used excessive force in all situations and claimed any restraints were necessary for the safety of staff and other residents.
An Education Workforce Council hearing heard youth support worker Moses “pushed” a young person out of the doorway in the home.
However, giving evidence at the hearing on Thursday, Moses said she used her arms as a blockade to prevent the person from entering the room.
Moses worked at Ty Ni children’s home in Caerphilly, South Wales, with children aged 13 to 17 years with the “aim to provide a positive, stable environment that enables the young people to feel safe and valued.”
The home follows a Team Teach method which views restraining residents as the least desirable outcome and instead encourages deescalation and destraction.
At the time, Moses was not trained in Team Teach and was instructed not to use physical restraints and to allow a member of staff who was trained in the practice to address the situation.
Sian Moses
(Image: WALES NEWS SERVICE)
On another occasion, Moses is alleged to have dragged a young person out of a car to prevent them from physically assaulting a member of staff.
Moses denies having dragged the person out of the car, claiming she opened the car door and said: “No, don’t do that”.
She claims that she then reached under the arm of the young person to assist them out of the car, before they fell to the floor.
Presenting office Cadi Dewi described how Moses allegedly screamed at another young person to whom she was face to face with: “Go on then, do it.”
Moses also denies that she said, insisting the young person was acting aggressively towards her whilst she was sitting down in a vulnerable position.
Earlier the hearing heard claims that Moses made sexual advances to fellow staff and boasted “I can turn any straight woman gay.”
In response she said this was a joke that was taken out of context.
Several other allegations of inappropriate conversations in the work place were made towards Moses, but she claims that she felt pressured to participate in conversations about her sex life due to unwanted questions from colleagues.
“The situation I was put in and the questions they were asking were unacceptable,” said Moses.
In relation to an allegation made that stated Moses openly discussed her use of sex toys, she said that it was a colleague who initiated the conversation.
She indicated that she felt the questions that were directed at her were potentially discriminatory as they singled out her sexuality.
“Under the Discrimination Act 2010, I should not have been put in that situation at work,” Moses told the pannel.
Moses is also alleged to have made several sexual advances to a colleague but claims it was she who was the victim of these advancements which were made against her.
Shetold the panel that a woman known as Colleague A confided in her and admitted she had feelings for her.
This then escalated over the next few days where Moses claimed the woman asked her to be her “f**k buddy” and attempted to kiss her on more than one occasion.
She also alleged that Colleague A pushed her breasts up against her and groped her crotch.
When asked why Moses had not reported these incidents, she said she was hoping she could deescalate the situation.
Earlier in the hearing, Colleague A gave evidence claiming that Moses “squeezed her left breast” and her bottom.
Colleague A told the the panel: “On one occasion she said she had masturbated while thinking of me.
“She was aware that I was married and in a relationship.
“She told me: “You need a distraction, I can be that distraction’ and ‘You’ll need a safe word by the time I’m finished with you’.”
Moses denies that she made these advancements and claims that Colleague A is the one who sexually pursued her by suggesting they book a hotel together.
Moses added that it took her months to realise she was the victim of these advancements.
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Home | substance abuse | hallucinogens
What Is the Drug Flakka?
Per the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), synthetic cannabinoids are manmade drugs that are commonly used as alternatives to cannabis products where these drugs cannot be purchased legally or by individuals who cannot purchase them where they are legally available (e.g., individuals without a prescription for cannabis products or younger individuals under the age of 18). Phenethylamines are hallucinogenic stimulant drugs that include well-known drugs like amphetamines and ecstasy (MDMA). These drugs also show up as synthetic cannabinoids.
Synthetic cathinones remain some of the most commonly available phenethylamines. These drugs are synthetic forms of the khat plant that is used in Africa and the Middle East for its stimulant properties. There are numerous synthetic cathinones, and one of the most common of these is the drug flakka.
Flakka (alpha-pyrrolidinopentiophenone [alpha-PVP]) is a synthetic cathinone that has achieved significant popularity among younger individuals in Florida and other states. Flakka and similar drugs are often referred to by the collective name of bath salts, but flakka is generally viewed as a more potent form of bath salts.
These drugs are classified as Schedule I controlled substances by the United States Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). All drugs in this classification are denoted as having no significant medicinal uses and extremely serious potential for abuse and the development of physiological dependence in individuals who use them. Drugs in this classification cannot be purchased legally in the United States except with special permissions from the federal government.
NIDA offers numerous reports of fatalities associated with the use of flakka, ranging from suicide to myocardial infarction. In addition, the drug can produce severe cognitive dysfunction and emotional and psychological distress when used.
The Use of Flakka
According to the DEA and NIDA, synthetic cannabinoids like flakka are most often manufactured overseas, particularly in countries like China and Pakistan, although when the drug was at its height in popularity, it was also made in local laboratories in states like Florida, where it was exceedingly popular for a short period. Because flakka is manufactured overseas or by those working in local private laboratories, there are no restrictions on the ingredients that can be used in the development and manufacture of the drug, and there is no authoritative body that inspects and regulates its manufacture and distribution. Thus, drugs labeled as flakka may have entirely different ingredients added in them from manufacturer to manufacturer and even from batch to batch produced by the same source. Consumers of these drugs have no idea if they are getting what they are paying for it, and there is no guarantee that the drug is actually what it is advertised to be.
Flakka and similar drugs often have extremely potent stimulant and hallucinogenic effects. The drug is typically purchased as pinkish or white crystals that can be ground up, snorted, injected, smoked in an e-cigarette, or taken orally. The drugs have a mechanism of action that blocks the reuptake of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and they most likely affect numerous other neurotransmitters.
Effects of Flakka
The research on flakka indicates that the immediate effects include:
A loss of inhibitions
Feelings of invulnerability
Significant psychostimulant and stimulant effects
In addition, the research also indicates that the use of flakka is associated with:
Irregular or increased heart rate
Increases in body temperature (hyperthermia)
Increased perspiration
Increased potential for dehydration
Increased potential for cardiovascular issues (e.g., heart attack)
Increased potential for respiratory distress
Increased potential for renal failure
Increased risk for stroke
Increased risk for swelling of the brain
Increased risk for the development of seizures
Psychological effects of using flakka can include:
Suicidality
Psychotic behavior (hallucinations and/or delusional behaviors)
Delirium (severe confusion, disorientation, and/or psychosis)
The occurrence of delirium in individuals often represents the effects of some form of a metabolic imbalance. Individuals with delirium can display variable symptoms that can include combinations of paranoia, hallucinations, severe delusions, hyperactivity, lethargy, hypoactivity, apathy, and severe depressive-type behavior. Delirium is nearly always associated with severe disorientation (e.g., not knowing where one is, the date, or the time; being unable to recognize familiar people, places, etc.), severe confusion, and a significant loss of rational thinking and rational behavior. Individuals who display a hyperactive type of delirium may become aggressive and may be a danger to themselves or others (often due to their hallucinations or paranoia delusions), whereas individuals with a hypoactive delirium may not respond to the environment and are at risk for significant harm due to an inability to attend to their basic needs.
Flakka abuse will most often result in individuals initially expressing a hyperactive or excited delirium state that consists of psychosis, feelings of invulnerability, agitation, aggression, significant disorientation, etc.; however, a hypoactive delirium may follow or occur in individuals who have overdosed on the drug.
Delirium often remits when the cause of the delirium can be reversed, such as the drug in the system being eliminated by the normal process of metabolism or treatment targeted at reducing the effects of the drug; however, extended periods of delirium can be associated with significant and permanent damage to the brain. NIDA offers reports of individuals using flakka who express significant symptoms associated with delirium.
Using flakka can result in significant damage to the brain from other mechanisms as well. Individuals developing seizures, significant respiratory suppression, brain swelling, stroke, etc., as a result of use of the drug are at risk for significant damage to the brain associated with these conditions. In addition, individuals on the drug often become so psychotic that they become suicidal or believe that they are invulnerable, and these states of mind are significant factors associated with the risk for self-harm.
Call now, be in treatment within 24 hours.
Extent of Use
Flakka is primarily sold online or in local head shops and other outlets. The increase in the abuse of flakka occurred rapidly in states like Florida, and the severe effects associated with abuse of the drug drew national attention. The data provided by the American Association of Poison Control Centersdocumented a significant rising trend of ER visits/calls associated with the use of the synthetic cathinones between 2009 and 2012, and then a marked decline in their use thereafter. The efforts of local and national government agencies as well as the crackdown on imports of the drug are believed to be associated with the decline in its use and abuse. The state that received the most attention regarding flakka abuse, Florida, reported a dramatic decline in documented cases of abuse of the drug during this period. Nonetheless, national organizations, such as NIDA and the DEA, continue to warn against abuse of the drug and recommend that individuals be on the lookout for potential use and abuse of the drug.
Some signs associated with use of flakka include:
Hyperactivity (e.g., uncharacteristic talkativeness, sociability, pressured speech, jitteriness, etc.)
Excessive overheating (e.g., excessive sweating, appearing flushed, etc.)
Physiological changes, such as a dramatic increase in blood pressure or heart rate
Severe grandiosity
A sudden onset of psychotic-type behavior in an individual without any history of psychosis
Dilated pupils, agitated motor movements, shaking, twitching, and even seizure-like movements
An alternating pattern of excessive energy, sociability, and heightened mood followed by alternating patterns of apathy, lethargy, depression, etc.
Physical Dependence and Flakka
Research studies using animals and the observational research literature on the use of the drug in humansindicates that chronic use of the drug is associated with compulsive cravings, behaviors that suggests the significant alteration of neurobiological pathways (e.g., the development of tolerance), and the development of a withdrawal syndrome when the drug is discontinued abruptly.
While there are no medications that are specifically designed to address the withdrawal symptoms that occur when individuals discontinue flakka, benzodiazepine drugs would address many of the issues that occur during the withdrawal process.
The withdrawal syndrome appears to be associated with primarily emotional symptoms that include:
A significant “crash” shortly after the drug is discontinued that includes issues with severe depression, apathy, and a loss of motivation (except the motivation to get more of the drug)
Severe cravings
Issues with anxiety
Issues with sleep that can vary from insomnia to hypersomnia (excessive sleeping)
Autonomic nervous system symptoms, such as increased heartbeat, increased perspiration, and the development of tremors or shakiness
Psychotic issues, such as the development of paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, etc.
Comprehensive Treatment for Flakka Abuse and Addiction
Treatment for flakka abuse should be initiated as soon as it is discovered that the individual is taking the drug. This is because chronic use of the drug is associated with the potential for severe consequences.
A well-rounded treatment program for an individual that abuses flakka should include:
A full assessment of the individual that includes a physical examination by a physician, psychological examination, and an assessment of their living conditions and social situations
Probable enrollment in a physician-assisted withdrawal management program
Immediate enrollment in substance use disorder therapy, the cornerstone in any treatment approach for any type of substance abuse or addictive behavior
Comprehensive psychoeducation regarding substance abuse in general, substance use disorders, and the physical and emotional effects associated with all drugs of abuse as well as their particular substance of choice
Enrollment in social support group activities, like family therapy, group therapy, or participation in social support groups, such as 12-Step groups
Medical management of any associated or co-occurring conditions as appropriate in the individual case
Long-term participation in therapy and social support groups
Any specific interventions that are germane to the individual case
Individuals who simply complete a withdrawal management program and do not become involved in long-term aftercare treatment will inevitably relapse, as relapse rates in these cases are near 100 percent. It is important to keep the individual engaged in treatment following the completion of any withdrawal management or acute treatment for their substance abuse. Often, individuals need to remain in treatment for years following discontinuation and need to maintain abstinence for at least 5-7 years before they can consider their treatment to be successful.
Editorial Staff, American Addiction Centers
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Supremacist bootlicker can identify own superior quality saliva on multi-salivated sacred relic - about 1 min ago
Islamabad safer city than London, Paris: report - about 1 hour ago
Govt places Maryam Nawaz on ECL, again
by Staff Report , (Last Updated January 14, 2020)
–Cabinet also approves inclusion of PML-N’s Javed Latif in no-fly list
–Govt gives Sharif family two days to submit Nawaz’s health report
ISLAMABAD: The federal cabinet on Tuesday decided to impose a travel ban on Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) Vice President Maryam Nawaz and party leader Javed Latif for their alleged involvement in corrupt practices.
The decision to put the name of Maryam Nawaz and Javed Latif on the Exit Control List (ECL) was taken after the National Accountability Bureau (NAB) approached the government, fearing the accused might escape the accountability process by travelling abroad.
In its request, NAB had stated that Maryam Nawaz was an accused in Chaudhry Sugar Mills case along with her father Nawaz Sharif and that the investigation in the money laundering case was still underway.
Interestingly, the cabinet in its Dec 2019 decision had decided to keep Maryam Nawaz on the ECL after she approached the government for permission to go abroad to tend to her ailing father. In her petition, Maryam Nawaz had pleaded that her father Nawaz Sharif’s health deteriorated and he was under medical treatment out of the country.
Maryam is currently out on bail in the Chaudhry Mills Case. She, along with the Sharif family was accused of using CSM for money laundering and illegal transfer of its shares. According to NAB, the family took a $15 million loan on the pretext to set up the mill despite the fact that it had already been established before the loan was acquired.
Addressing a press conference after the cabinet meeting, PM’s Special Assistant on Information and Broadcasting Dr Firdous Ashiq Awan said the allied parties of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf were part of the government and would remain so.
Speaking about the resignation of an allied minister, she said the Muttahida Qaumi Movement-Pakistan (MQM-P) leaders had presented all their concerns to the committee led by Federal Minister for Planning and Development Asad Umar, which had been conveyed to the prime minister.
The special assistant said Prime Minister Imran Khan had already given a package of Rs162 billion for Karachi and it was now time for its implementation and then transferring its benefits to the grassroots level.
She took a jibe at the opposition, saying the ailing leaders of Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz were enjoying their stay in London instead of getting treatment. About the medical reports of Nawaz Sharif, she said the Sharif family had been given 48 hours to present a report on the health condition of Nawaz Sharif else the government would take an action.
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Exhibition by Palmers Green artist to launch Enfield's bid to be London's Borough of Culture
Published: 28 October 2017 Category: News
Patrick Samuel - one of the artists involved in Enfield's bid for cultural recognition
An exhibition of work by Palmers Green artist Patrick Samuel will launch Enfield Council's bid for the borough to become a "London Borough of Culture".
Patrick's show, Escape and Return, runs at the Dugdale Centre from 7th November until 2nd December. Earlier this year we published an article written by Patrick - a moving story of how taking up art turned his life around.
The London Borough of Culture was launched this year. The capital's 32 boroughs will bid for more than £1 million of funding to stage a programme of cultural events and initiatives, which will be supported by a grant of £300,000 from City Bridge Trust, part of the City of London Corporation. Two boroughs will be crowned winners in February, taking the title of London Borough of Culture for 2019 and 2020 respectively. In addition, £600,000 is available for to up to six boroughs which don’t win the title, but which put forward exemplary projects. Another major element of the competition will focus on how the award can bring real change to the winning borough, delivering a lasting legacy for the area. Boroughs will be encouraged to consider how arts and culture can help them deliver their local plans, for example through training and skills development as well as regeneration projects.
Enfield's bid will focus on how art and culture in the borough has the power to change residents’ lives for the better and helps us to tell the story of their lives and experiences.
Over the coming months the council will be consulting local artists, arts organisations and our communities to help shape the bid to truly reflect the aspirations of all parts of Enfield. If you'd like to be involved please get in touch at , send a tweet at @Enfield_Fest or through Facebook at @enfieldfestivals.
Posts in discussion: Exhibition by Palmers Green artist to launch Enfield's bid to be London's Borough of Culture
PGC Webmaster posted a reply #3328 08 Nov 2017 11:22
Enfield's bid to be London Borough of Culture was launched yesterday when Palmers Green artist Patrick Samuel's exhibition Escape and Return opened at the Dugdale Centre. From left: Cllr Yasemin Brett, Cabinet Member for Community, Arts & Culture; Cllr Christine Anderson, Mayor of Enfield; Patrick Samuel; Cllr Doug Taylor, Leader of Enfield Council.
"Art is my medium of escape; from the noise, the lights, the fumes and the constant stream of information. It’s deafening and blinding. The pushing and the shoving, and the race to get everywhere first and have everything now. I want it all to stop.
"Painting and drawing lets me soar past the planets, where I can let my hands glide across the stars as I say goodbye to it all. Watch it fade away. And I do get that far when I realise how much I’d leave behind back on Earth; the trees, the sound of laughter and the colour of sound, the colourable real, the mythical and fantastic. I realise how much I’d miss it all. How much I’d miss you. This is my return."
The Bernie Grant Arts Centre launches the Windrush Festival
We would like to invite you to Bernie Grant Arts Centre’s Windrush Festival - our first ever festival highlighting the vital contribution the Windrush Generation and their descendants have made to the cultural landscape of the UK. Read more
SMP Race Nights - the videos
St Monica's Players are running their Big Race Night on 3rd March. Here are a couple of Special Races videos from previous years to put you in the mood:
adul
AEBM
Broomfield House
Broomfield Park
Campaigning Groups
Co-Housing
Crossrail 2
Enfield Council
Firs Farm
Grovelands Park
Hazelwood Rec
Intimate Theatre
Local History/Local Studies
London-wide Issues
Mini Holland
Neighbourhood Watches
North Middlesex Hospital
Palmers Green Festival
Palmers Green Town Centre
Palmers Scream
Planning Laws
Play Streets
Ruth Winston Centre
Southgate District Civic Trust,
Tatem Park
Trent Park
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14 senators sign resolution backing Sotto’s leadership
MANILA At least 14 senators have signed a resolution expressing support for the leadership of Senate President Vicente Sotto III in the upcoming 18th Congress.
During Monday's plenary session, Senator Manny Pacquiao said the senators who signed the manifesto include himself, Senators Gringo Honasan, Panfilo Lacson, Grace Poe, Loren Legarda, Sherwin Gatchalian, Francis Escudero, Aquilino Pimentel III, Nancy Binay, Juan Miguel Zubiri, Sonny Angara, Joel Villanueva, and Ralph Recto.
Senator Richard Gordon has also thrown his support behind Sotto.
The resolution expressed support to the current leadership for the new Congress in order to maintain the Senate's independence and uphold its "proud tradition" of being the bastion of democracy in the country.
The resolution stated that under Sotto's leadership, the chamber has been lauded for its productivity, which resulted in the passage of significant measures, such as the Universal Health Care Act, Security of Tenure and End of "Endo" Act, amendments to the Agricultural Tariffication Act, Filipino Sign Language Act, Tax Amnesty Act, Pantawid Pamilya Pilipino Program Acct, and First Time Job Seekers Assistance Act, among others.
It also noted that Sotto obtained a 74-percent approval rating in the Pulse Asia survey last December, and under his leadership, the Senate obtained a 72-percent satisfaction rating, the highest among key government institutions.
"This is attributable to the transparency and independence displayed by the Senate on all issues presented before the upper chamber," the resolution read.
According to reports, talks of a new Senate leader arose following a tug-of-war between incumbent and incoming senators over the committee chairmanships for the new Congress.
Lacson earlier said a resolution would be routed among senators to serve as a vote of confidence in Sotto's leadership. (PNA)
Source: Philippines News Agency
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‘Ate Jane’: Pinay with a big heart helping Filipinos in France
Iloilo beats Zamboanga at home; SJ nips DavOcc in finals rematch
Soleimani had sheltered al-Qaeda leaders, claims author
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How to buy fentanyl protection and detection products (eBook)
Conn. police join a growing trend of offering addicts treatment over jail
Using grant monies, the Vernon Police Department is connecting addicts with recovery coaches and moving them into treatment rather than jail
By David Owens
The Hartford Courant
HARTFORD, Conn. — When Vernon police Chief James Kenny saw how police in neighboring Manchester were offering treatment rather than arresting people who possessed small quantities of opiates, he was intrigued. As a veteran cop with experience in narcotics enforcement, Kenny kept seeing addicts get arrested but not getting the help they need.
Kenny knew the old model of simply arresting anyone who possessed drugs was not working, a realization that police departments across Connecticut and the nation are coming to as addiction deaths continue to grow.
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“I was very impressed with it, and I tried to steal it,” Kenny said of what is known as the HOPE program in Manchester. “The enforcement angle of this is not working. We are seeing more and more overdoses, especially associated with heroin and fentanyl.”
Kenny wanted Vernon officers to have the option to offer treatment rather than jail that their colleagues in Manchester, New Britain, Berlin and dozens of other communities across the state and nation had. But money was an issue. The key to the program, and those like it, is immediate help for people suffering from addiction. It was available at Manchester Memorial Hospital, but not at Rockville General Hospital in Vernon.
That changed Aug. 1, thanks to a grant from the state Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. Recovery coaches are now on call at Rockville General Hospital to provide immediate assistance, and followup help, to people suffering from addiction.
Three people sought help the first week, Kenny said.
“If the people we’re dealing with are interested in recovery or getting help with their addiction, we will not arrest them for simple possession of narcotics,” Kenny said. Police will seize any drugs they have, though.
Police will continue to arrest people with larger quantities of drugs and people they suspect of dealing, said Lt. Bill Meier. But for those who want help, “it’s just one more tool the officers have to address the problem.”
“It’s not going to work for everybody,” Kenny said. “A lot of people we deal with aren’t interested until they hit rock bottom.” Police have had instances of dealing with the same addict multiple times in the same day, reviving them with Narcan, then returning later in the day for another overdose, he said. Narcan is a drug used to revive people have overdosed on opioids.
A town hit hard by opioid crisis
Vernon’s program is modeled after a program pioneered by police in Gloucester, Mass., and is intended to move addicts into treatment rather than jail before they cause more harm to themselves, their families and their community. As a result, the number of overdoses has declined, and larceny and other crimes associated with drug abusers have dropped.
Meier said Vernon and Rockville have been hard-hit by the opioid crisis. “We’ve seen more suspected overdose deaths in the first six months of this year than we did in all of 2018,” Meier said. “Some of the national data is showing it’s starting to level off, but we have not seen that locally.” There were six overdose deaths in Vernon in 2017 and 2018 and that many already in 2019, Meier said.
The key to the program is the immediate availability of help, Meier said.
“They go right now, immediately they’re in,” Meier said. “I can’t overstate that. It’s immediate."
Dr. Robert Carroll, the head of emergency medicine at Manchester Memorial and Rockville General, said the old way was to care for a patient in the emergency room, then give them some phone numbers to seek help and send them on their way.
“That doesn’t really work well with an addict,” Carroll said. Hours after they leave the hospital, they begin to feel the pain of withdrawal. “The magic cure is to pop another Oxycontin, shoot another bag of heroin,” he said.
If the hospital keeps them long enough to speak with a recovery coach, there’s a better chance of getting them into treatment. The work of recovery coaches in the emergency room at Manchester Memorial has led to a higher percentage of patients initiating treatment.
The recovery coaches are people who are in recovery themselves, who understand the difficulty patients face, but who also have been trained to help people who want help and who have the information and ability to get them help. Some will drive patients to clinics. They stay in touch with patients.
“The recovery coaches are really good at relating to the patients with the substance use disorders because they’ve been there,” Carroll said. “They are probably the secret sauce of why this is successful.”
The recovery coaches at Rockville General and more than a dozen other hospitals across the state are from the Hartford-based Connecticut Community of Addiction Recovery. The recovery coaches provide help during and after the emergency department visit and connect people to community resources, including substance abuse treatment.
Helping addicts find a connection
TJ Aitken knows addiction and recovery. He’s been sober a little over three years and is one of the recovery coaches from CCAR who travel all across the state to talk to people suffering from addiction and help them if they’re ready to seek recovery. The job has given the 25-year-old Manchester native a purpose and helped him stay away from alcohol and heroin.
“Recovery coaching has done for me what I couldn’t do for myself,” he said. “They’ve helped me more than I’ll ever help them.”
Aitken is full of energy and a desire to be where he is needed, whenever he is needed.
“I work both nights and weekends, days, afternoons,” he said. “I go with the flow.”
After a brief meeting in Rockville on Friday, he was headed to Norwich to talk to a woman at Backus Hospital who was seeking help with her alcohol addiction.
He walks into the emergency room, sits down with people who are struggling and introduces himself. He doesn’t push. He tries to make a connection with the person he’s trying to help.
“Connection is the way out of addiction,” he said. “Connection is the most important thing a recovery coach can provide to someone who wants to get into recovery.”
When he talks to people, he looks for a light in their eye, something they want to achieve. Sometimes it isn’t there right away, but that doesn’t bother Aitken.
“I always follow up with everybody,” he said. They might not be ready when he meets them, but a month later they might be. He said he’ll always help.
Aitken said he has helped 799 people into recovery during his nearly two years as a recovery coach. He was hoping the woman in Norwich would be No. 800.
The apparent success of the recovery coach program has prompted the state Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services to seek to expand it. Federal grants are providing the funding now.
“It’s a great program,” said Diana Shaw, a department spokeswoman. “It really has been valuable in getting people to treatment at a time they’re really vulnerable and really need it most. We’re hoping to expand it as more money becomes available.”
Police know that not everyone they take to the hospital will accept help and enter recovery.
“Sometimes they’re at rock bottom and they want help, and this help might keep them alive,” Vernon’s Kenny said. “We’re not naive enough to believe that we can save everyone we bring to the hospital with this program, but if we can save one, it’s a success.”
©2019 The Hartford Courant (Hartford, Conn.)
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Op-Ed: USAF Secretary on the Future of Science and Tech in the Air Force
"Future advantage will go to those who create the best technologies and who integrate and field them in creative operational ways that provide military advantages."
By Heather Wilson
Darin RussellFlickr
Heather Wilson is the 24th Secretary of the Air Force. On Wednesday, the Air Force released a report detailing its strategy for developing and deploying science and technology breakthroughs.
More often than not, history speaks important truths if we are willing to listen.
Back in the last 1940s and ‘50s, before most Americans were born, the United States military led the way on scientific achievements that kept us safe from a dangerous world. The Air Force, in particular, was an engine of creativity that ushered in an age of jet engines, satellites, intercontinental ballistic missiles and concepts that led to space exploration and global communications networks.
The lessons gleaned from how we were able to rapidly develop such critical technologies are important as our country enters a new era of great power competition with Russia and China. This week, the Air Force will release a new Science and Technology Strategy that serves as a blueprint for maintaining our military edge against prospective adversaries who are innovating faster than we are. Our strategy relies on echoes from our past. Elevating basic and applied science to the forefront of technology development in our service; building structural bridges to industry and academia that spark creativity and cross-fertilize scientific inquiry; and, ultimately, delivering capabilities that our adversaries cannot hope to match.
This strategy is unique in that it does not simply list those technologies that we believe will be critical for military superiority. Rather, we set out a set of strategic capabilities and characteristics—using and leveraging technologies such as hypersonics and quantum computing—that we foresee as critical to success in the next decade and beyond.
In short, our military must have the ability to see what is going on around the world, quickly and without interruption. We need systems that cannot be easily disabled, hacked or spoofed. We must develop technologies and systems that can react faster than our enemies. We need weapons that are too complex for our adversaries to detect and defeat and which can be employed in large numbers. And we need systems and weapons that are very fast and go range great distances. We have named these characteristics Global Persistent Awareness; Resilient Information Sharing; Rapid and Effective Decision Making; Complexity, Unpredictability and Mass; and Speed and Reach of Disruption and Lethality.
By focusing on what we want our military technology to be able to do, we are setting up a competitive environment for researchers to discover and help create this generation’s X-1 rocket plane or ICBM. This approach is a strong link to our past and a significant departure from our present. As we note in our report, “the globalization of technology now allows potential adversaries access to cutting-edge science and technology research and the best science and technology talent.”
The Bell X-1 supersonic rocket plane, 1947.
Underwood ArchivesGetty Images
In response, we are reforming the way science and technology is led and managed to more quickly deliver game-changing technologies and deepen our scientific and technical expertise. These reforms dovetail with our efforts to test and develop weapons on a much shorter timeline and to overhaul and streamline how we maintain them over time. Those efforts have already shown great promise in slashing the time it takes to bring weapons to market and has produced notable efficiencies in cutting maintenance time and costs.
Future advantage will go to those who create the best technologies and who integrate and field them in creative operational ways that provide military advantages.
Urgency is key to staying ahead of the competition and for that reason we are introducing both new approaches and a new structure to transform our scientific enterprise. At the top will be an Air Force Chief Technology Officer, who will provide a strong voice within Air Force Headquarters and prioritize and coordinate science and technology across the service. This role would be analogous to most large companies’ Chief Technology Officer.
To ensure urgency remains a hallmark of our scientific efforts, we will advance future concepts with research programs we call “vanguards.” These programs will develop leap-ahead technologies over a limited period of prototyping and experimentation and will draw on the past legacies of such programs as the X-1 and the “Century Series” jet fighters, which were developed rapidly in the 1950s and 1960s to counter threats to American air dominance.
History tells us what we can do. And do this, we must.
Heather Wilson is the 24th Secretary of the Air Force.
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Tag: International Celebrities
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One-shots!
I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid...let's test that. ;D ~Sirius Black
by: StarKid_rocks_4eva
I pulled my mask down over my eyes and then stepped out of Dad's car. "Bye, Mum, by Dad! See you!" I called over my shoulder, waving as my parents smiled and drove off down the road, passing a street lamp in the dark.
This was the Masquerade party Sirius Black was having at his house, in celebration of all of us finishing our last year at Hogwarts about a week ago.
I straightened my necklace and walked up to Number 11 Grimmauld Place, smirking to myself as I knocked on the door.
The door was swept open by a boy in dark suit with a silvery-black mask covering half of his face.
The mask couldn't hide the smirk the guy had as he looked me up and down.
I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. "In your dreams, Black."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Landers, come on!" Sirius protested, coming after me down the hallway already crowded with most of the kids from school, excluding the Slytherins. "How did you even recognize me?"
I walked downstairs into the kitchen and grabbed a sealed butterbeer from the table, knowing that Black probably spiked everything else with firewhiskey. "I could ask you the same question."
"We're asking questions now? I love questions!" James Potter grinned as he caught up with us, not even wearing a mask.
"You do know it's a masquerade party, right Prongs?" I asked slowly, raising my eyebrows at him. "Are you really that dense or did you just choose to ignore it?"
James waved it off as Sirius laughed, Lily catching up to us then. "He chose to ignore it. Even though I told him not to." She said, rolling her eyes as she held her pale green mask up to her face.
"Of course I did. But you still love me." James grinned, nuzzling Lily in the neck, making her laugh and blush.
I groaned and took a drink of my butterbeer. "Please, we've been over this you two. Save the lovedovey stuff for when you're alone."
"You're telling me." Remus said, shaking his head at Lily and James as he walked up to us with Peter trailing behind looking socially awkward as he usually does. Neither of them were wearing masks.
I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Am I the only one who actually listened to the bloody invitation that was sent to me?"
"OF COURSE YOU WERE, SCARLETTE. AREN'T YOU ALWAYS?" James, Lily, and Remus chorused loudly, making me roll my eyes.
"You know if you would just go out with me, Scarlette, then you wouldn't feel left out when the lovebirds got all lovey-dovey." Sirius said thoughtfully, winking at me.
I made a face at Lily, who laughed. "As Lily once said to James, I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."
"Ah-ha, but as you can see, she didn't stick to her word!" Sirius crowed elatedly as Lily and James started laughing. "And I don't think you will either. Let's test that theory, shall we? So, come on then, love, kiss me."
I wrinkled my nose. "I'd rather not, Padfoot. There are much more...appealing guys around here at the moment."
"Oh, sure, easy excuse, Landers." James rolled his eyes at me.
"I dare you to kiss Sirius and if you don't feel anything, then fine, we'll leave you be." Lily raised an eyebrow at me as I glared at her.
"You're supposed to be on my side, Evans." I growled, shaking my head at her in mock-disgust.
"You've been dared, Landers. What are you going to do?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at me, making me pretend to puke.
James, Remus, and Lily began counting. "ONE...TWO-"
"Fine! I'll do it!" I cried exasperatedly, shoving my butterbeer into Remus's hands as he grinned broadly.
"Prepare to be kissed, Landers." Sirius made kissy lips and I nearly gagged.
"Shut up, Padfoot." I shook my head at him, put my arms on either side of his face, and kissed him full on the mouth.
Bloody hell!
Sirius was kissing me back fiercely, his palms flat against my back, pressing me close up against him as my arms wound their way around his neck, my fingers tangling in his messy brown hair.
You've got to be kidding me.
Sirius groaned against my lips, his arms tightening around me even more.
My heart was crashing in my chest, my blood racing through my veins as our lips played a fierce game of tug-of-war, each of us fighting for dominance.
He's already right, I won't give him the satisfaction of being in charge of this.
I tore myself away, a smirk already on my lips as I snatched my butterbeer from Remus.
"So, did you feel anything?" Remus asked mildly as we watched Sirius try to catch his breath, his eyes dark with desire as he watched me take steps away from him, towards the stairs.
I grinned and winked at Sirius. "Coming, Padfoot?" I asked, beckoning for him to follow me with one finger, cocking an eyebrow at him.
James, Lily, and Remus erupted into "I told you's" and "Ha! I was right's!", but Sirius just grinned broadly, leaving them and following me through his crowded house up to his room, which we didn't leave for a long time.
(here: http://www.polyvore.com/scarlette_landers/set?id=74399281)
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What the hell are you doing?~ a Han Solo one-shot
by StarKid_rocks_4eva
Niall and the Potatoes ~Niall Horan
ed0n_h8tes_chr1s 7 years ago
Can you do a pokemon one?
StarKid_rocks_4eva 7 years ago
um, I don't know pokemon, so no. sorry. :(
Fremione_They_Killed_Fred 7 years ago
Salocin 7 years ago
Yeah!!!! Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
no problem. :D
Actually um I don't know how you or anyone reading would feel about this sort of thing but is there anyway that I could be put in it and that Iggy could maybe be gay...? I think you know where I might be going with that. Um when the books first came out I was only a little older then them and I kinda sorta always liked Iggy the best...
I would be fine with it, and I don't care what other people think/say/what-have-you. So yeah, I'll definitely do it. :D Do you want action as well?
Cool and I don't mind waiting, I was wondering that's all.
I saw that someone suggested Maximum Ride!!!!!!!!!! That one I might have a hard time waiting for!!!!!!. Anyway you'd make two? One for the other person and one where they're a little older like early twenties or something?
all right, great. And yeah, sure! the one for the other person is going to have romance, and I'm assuming you don't want that, right? I'll do one in their twenties, for sure! :D
Are you still doing the LOTR one? And if so, um it's not going to have romance or anything like that in it is it?
no, that one won't. And yeah, I'm still gonna do it, I'm just trying to think of a way to do it where it will be put to justice, ya know? I don't want to make it awful, cuz LOTR isn't awful, not by a long shot. I hope I'm not taking too long...
ILoveNevilleL 7 years ago
I loved it. Thanks!
Thank You for doing a Neville one!!!!!!!!!!
no problem, hope you liked it! :D
Pierced_ 7 years ago
No, but could you just write at least one in the, I guess you could say, third p.o.v? Thanks :)
sure, I'll give it a go. :D
MaxRide99 7 years ago
No, lol, I meant the one shots! Haha, take your time. I meant a one shot about Fang or Iggy or something :D
oh. lol, okay will do! XD
Created by StarKid_rocks_4eva
StarKid_rocks_4eva
With Killian Jones on the Jolly Roger, Storybrooke, blah, US
Quibblo Interview
Hey guys, can you read this please? :D
The Fifth Marauder
Loving with Eyes Closed
Oh hey guys. Just read FYI:
When Hell Freezes Over (a Draco Malfoy l ...
It's all My Fault
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG ...
I'm super happy right now!! Like, super- ...
Sing to Me in the Morning (an original l ...
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Home / Medical Malpractice / Hospital Errors
Hospital Errors Lawyers New York
Hospital Mistakes Put Patients at Unnecessary Risk in New York
In 2005, the state of New York made history by passing a law requiring hospitals to publicly disclose infections that people contracted as patients. This new era of disclosure in New York has successfully encouraged hospitals throughout the state to exercise greater care in treating their patients. Reports published in 2010 have shown that New York hospitals are safer and more sanitary than ever before.
Nevertheless, hospital errors continue to occur, as do devastating instances of medical malpractice. New York City personal injury attorney Mitch Proner believes it is his civic duty to expose such errors through aggressive litigation on behalf of those injured by hospital negligence and medical malpractice.
If you or a member of your family has suffered a personal injury, or if you have lost a loved one to wrongful death, as a result of a hospital error, please contact Proner & Proner in NYC today to schedule an evaluation of your case.
Types of Hospital Mistakes in New York
Every person employed by a hospital owes a duty of care to that hospital’s patients. This includes physicians, surgeons, nurses, anesthesiologists, technicians, radiologists, administrators, orderlies, and other personnel. Any employee of a hospital who fails to perform his or her job duties to a reasonable standard can be held liable for any personal injury or wrongful death that results.
The most common hospital errors include:
Anesthesia Errors – Instances of anesthesiologist malpractice include the failure to monitor patients, the failure to identify and respond quickly to potential complications, over- or under-dosing of anesthesia, leaving the patient unattended for any period of time, mistakes during intubation, and the failure to administer oxygen properly during surgery.
Emergency Room Errors – Medical malpractice cases in New York often arise from emergency room errors. Such errors include misdiagnosis and failure to diagnose due to haste, understaffing, the failure to properly sanitize the facilities, poorly trained support staff, failure to track patients properly, failure to control infection, medication errors, and refusal to treat patients in need.
Incorrect Patient Errors – Poor record-keeping and sloppy management of charts can lead to patients receiving treatments not intended for them. Patients can receive the incorrect medication or, in some cases, even undergo unnecessary surgery or chemotherapy treatments.
Severe Ulcers (Bed Sores) – Hospital patients who are bedridden for an extended period of time must be checked often for the early signs of pressure ulcers, commonly known as bed sores. Patients who cannot move themselves should be helped to change position every one-to-two hours. Severe bed sores can result in permanent, and even fatal, damage to skin, bone, and muscles.
Surgical Mistakes – The most common surgical mistakes include operating on the incorrect limb and improper placement of incisions. Surgical mistakes can result in serious personal injuries including brain injury and even death.
Modern radiology equipment allows for more precise diagnosis of health problems than ever before. CT (or “CAT”) scans, ultrasounds, magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), digital x-rays, and other sophisticated diagnostic imaging systems enable radiologists to identify signs of diseases and disorders in their earliest stages. Countless lives have been saved as a result.
Conversely, radiology errors can cost lives. In many failure to diagnose and misdiagnosis cases, x-ray misperception and other radiology mistakes are the root problem. The NYC medical malpractice lawyers of Proner & Proner provide exceptional legal representation to people who have been harmed by radiology errors at hospitals throughout New York City, NY. Our personal injury attorneys have the experience, resources, and tenacity to handle even the most complex medical malpractice cases.
If you or a member of your family has suffered due to x-ray mistakes or other radiology errors, please contact the law firm of Proner & Proner today.
Typical Radiology Errors
In “Malpractice Issues in Radiology,” radiologist Leonard Berlin alluded to published reports showing the error rate among radiologists to be approximately 30 percent. Of these errors, according to Chambersburg Imaging Associates (CIA), roughly 80 percent are errors of perception. In other words, the diagnostic film reveals an abnormality in the patient, but the radiologist fails to detect it.
Failures of communication between radiologists and physicians are another common source of dangerous medical errors.
Not all radiology errors are instances of negligence. However, when a potential health problem should reasonably have been identified and a patient becomes ill or dies as a result of the error, a medical malpractice lawsuit may be pursued.
Medication Errors and Radiology
In a study conducted by the United States Pharmacopeia, it was discovered that harmful medication errors were seven times more likely to occur during radiological procedures than in any other hospital environment.
Common Consequences of X-ray Mistakes and Other Radiology Errors
Radiologists are generally the first line of defense against serious illness and disease. The failure of radiologists to detect clear abnormalities on diagnostic film can lead to a failure to diagnose, address, or treat:
Lung, breast, and other types of cancer
Warning signs of stroke
Infections and inflammations
Other internal injuries and disorders
Radiology errors involving pregnant women can lead to otherwise preventable birth injuries, as well.
Learn More About Your Rights – Contact an Experienced NYC Radiology Errors Lawyer Today
The medical malpractice lawyers of Proner & Proner in New York City have the expertise and experience to handle any case involving radiology errors such as x-ray mistakes. To schedule an evaluation of your case, please contact the law firm of Proner & Proner today.
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PROSEGUR FOUNDATION
Through the Foundation, Prosegur Cash seeks to generate development opportunities for people in the countries in which it operates.
THE COMPANY'S SOCIAL FOOTPRINT
Fundación Prosegur has three defined focus areas: Education; Labour inclusion of mentally disabled people; and Corporate Volunteering. The Foundation seeks to generate development opportunities for people and to establish shared values between the company and society.
In 2018 it reached a figure of 43,240 direct beneficiaries in 10 countries. This represents an 8% increase in respect of 2017 and was possible thanks to a greater involvement of the company's professionals, the replication of best practices and the utilization of synergies among its projects.
Fundación Prosegur's activities seek the attainment of the following
UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGS):
Especially through the Development Cooperation Program called Piecitos Colorados [Little Red Feet], implemented in schools in vulnerable surroundings in Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Paraguay, Peru and Uruguay; and through the Talent Grants program, which rewards academic excellence and the efforts of employees and their children by means of study grants in 3 continents. The Foundation also supports environmental education using new technologies through the Planeta Limpio [Clean Planet] program.
Decent jobs and economic growth
Implementation of initiatives encouraging the labour inclusion of people with mental disability, such as the Inclusion Plan at company premises (Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Spain, Peru) and the Documentary Digitization Centres, made up by disabled professionals and set up in Brazil and Spain. In this field, work is done to develop the Employment with Support method, with the advice of entities with expertise in this field such as Fundación Prodis, Fundación Aprocor, Best Buddies, Fundación Discar, Fundación Coanil, Ann Sullivan Center in Peru and APAE Brazil, among others.
Alliance to reach SDGs
The Foundation encourages the establishment of efficient alliances with other Third Sector entities to achieve the utilization of synergies to produce a greater social impact. This includes collaborations with Fundación Créate, Nutrición Sin Fronteras, Fundación Empieza por Educar, Lego Robotix, UWC España, and Fundación Amigos del Museo del Prado, within the field of education, plus those mentioned above as partners fostering inclusion.
These programs are supplemented in a cross-cutting fashion by Corporate Volunteering actions linked to education and inclusion, with a long-term impact on SDG1 (No Poverty) and SDG10 (Reduced Inequalities).
IMPACT IN 2018
In quantitative terms
No. of Projects 34 31
No. of Beneficiaries 43,240 39,964
(in million euros) 3 2.8
Piecitos colorados
46 affiliated schools and 5,540 Piecitos Colorados [Little Red Feet] students
503 students and 30 teachers from six countries received training in entrepreneur programs
1,366 Fundación Prosegur Talent Grants given in 9 countries
1,880 students took part in the Planeta Limpio [Clean Planet] environmental sensitization workshops
179 students in Chile, Spain and Portugal attended summer training courses
266 Solidarity Days in eight countries
2,871 employees committed to doing volunteer work
VALUE DRIVERS
Fundación Prosegur's impact is not limited to quantitative results. The Foundation defined a number of drivers in 2018 that shed light on the Foundation's contribution in terms of generating value for the various stakeholders. These are the variables analysed through this approach:
The professionals at Prosegur Cash are involved in the Foundation's projects, strengthening their commitment with the company and their solidarity concerns. In 2018 satisfaction surveys were conducted among employees acting as volunteers in Colombia and Spain to analyse the impact they generated, highlighting the outcome of reinforcing skills and capacities such as teamwork, empathy, proactiveness and the pride of ownership.
Reputation and brand
The work of Fundación Prosegur was recognised in 2018 in Argentina with the following distinctions: Award to Transparency and Institutionalization (underscoring the management model, based on excellence and best practices) from the Federation of Foundations; CSR Distinctions Award for the project "Creativity as an engine for change" in alliance with the Fundación Amigos del Museo del Prado [Friends of the Prado Museum Foundation]; and the Award to social impact in best practices in sustainability, from Verallia Argentina, also for the initiation to art project with the Prado Museum in the Mendoza area.
Generating alliances
The establishment of strategic alliances with other Third Sector entities is essential for Fundación Prosegur to carry forth its actions, achieving greater impact, utilizing synergies and managing resources more efficiently. All these factors have a repercussion on the design and development of more innovative initiatives. The new alliances generated in 2018 include the collaboration with the Conciencia de Argentina [Conscience of Argentina] Association (experts in managing educational programs in vulnerable surroundings) for the monitoring and mentoring of students with a Piecitos Colorados grant, plus joint work with the Peruvian Sports Institute (a public body affiliated to the Ministry of Education), with a systematic approach to the sporting experience at rural schools in Peru.
MILESTONES FOR THE YEAR
Moving towards digital transformation
In keeping with the digital transformation process of Prosegur Cash, the Foundation in 2018 conducted an internal analysis process to define a strategy for action to allow it to tackle the challenges of the digital environment in the different stages of its activity:
Reflection on the new profile of beneficiaries, identifying their needs, in order to transform the programs with more innovative approaches.
Implementation of tools to enable a more reliable data management, analysing them for decision-making purposes.
Analysis of workflows to enhance internal processes in terms of efficiency (homogenization and scalability).
Adapting communication to the digital environment (combining media, online channels and new formats) to be more agile, to better interact with users and to obtain feedback from the various stakeholders.
Bearing in mind the digital profile of the most recent generations and heeding the first premise of its transformation process, in 2018 Fundación Prosegur carried out a reorientation of its training initiatives to align them with the Education 4.0 concept. This is a new way of teaching and learning, where besides the technology factor the things that stand out are customization, the fostering of entrepreneurial talent and the learning of 21st century skills such as creativity, innovation, teamwork, critical thinking and emotional intelligence.
Escuelab, the Supper Camps for employees' children aged 8 to 14, are renewed with STEM contents to inculcate notions of Science, Technology, engineering and Mathematics. Pre-university students can benefit from the first Summer Experience in Entrepreneurship in collaboration with EDEM Escuela de Empresarios.
Focusing on globalization and learning languages, the Talent Grants internal program provides students with the opportunity to enjoy an international educational experience, while at the same time practising a sport as members of a federation.
Though collaboration with the Talento y Deporte [Talent and Sport] organization, students and their families are advised in respect of the procedure for obtaining a student grant at a University in the United States.
With 46 affiliated schools and over 5,500 minors benefiting in 7 countries, this project in 2018 focused on providing tools for students and teachers to access 21st century skills and reduce the educational gap.
Using active methods, students are able to develop projects starting from an idea based on the exploration of their immediate surroundings. Students must go through all the stages involved in building the project: from designing their idea to publicly presenting the solution, and in between there is the prototype stage, the analysis of resources and designing a brand strategy.
In this trip towards entrepreneurship, 503 students and 30 teachers from Argentina, Chile, Colombia, Paraguay, Peru and Uruguay were able to materialize 87 creative solutions to environmental issues in their surroundings, presenting them at Innovation Fairs set up at their schools. These events benefited from the involvement of volunteer employees as team members, with Prosegur customers filling in as jury members.
Piecitos reaches the South Summit
As a culmination of the "Wake up, Create and Transform the Environment" project, four students from the Alfred Nobel rural school in Uruguay travelled to Spain to participate in the South Summit event: the most prominent innovation and entrepreneurial platform in southern Europe, connecting start-ups with investors. Registered in the Kids division, the Piecitos made an elevator pitch before the jury to present their Bajavolumen [Lower the volume] project, which seeks to reduce noise pollution in cities by way of a collaborative app.
A year of solidarity
The number of professionals from Prosegur, including those from its affiliate Prosegur Cash, involved in the company's volunteering activities in 8 countries rose by 60 percent in respect of 2017. Thus, a total of 2,871 employees were actively involved in the 266 solidarity days in Spain and Latin America.
Volunteering for inclusion
Sessions in which employees and their relatives team up with disabled individuals are meant to sensitize people on issues involving diversity, seeking the social integration of the disabled. The traditional sports activities were supplemented in 2018 with new topics and different territories both in Spain and in Latin America. There were original inclusive activities such as geocaching challenges in Zaragoza and Barcelona; the Observation Race in Bogotá focusing on culture, and culinary contests carried out in Bilbao, Valladolid, Buenos Aires, and Belo Horizonte (Brazil).
Solidarity ambassadors
As a reflection of the close involvement of staff in Latin America with the schools affiliated to Piecitos Colorados, a team of Solidarity Ambassadors was established in Argentina: this initiative was spruced up by the Security division, where a total 90 employees took part as volunteers. These professionals, after carrying out solidary activities at a school, take on the responsibility of disseminating the work done by the Foundation at their respective delegations.
Volunteering in knowledge transfer
Thanks to the capacities of the professionals from Prosegur Cash, training sessions were arranged to take know-how in the field of security to those who need it the most. Workshops were set up for accident prevention and safe working environments in Brazil; activities on Hygiene and Road Safety in Colombia; and the Prosegur Week in Peru. These are meant to show the work done in the company's different business areas at Piecitos Colorados schools. Also, in Argentina and Spain there was an increase of actions for vocational training and motivating young students from vulnerable surroundings, led by professionals of varying profiles. The goal is to share personal and job experiences to help them in their future development.
Inclusive Camino de Santiago
In alliance with Fundación Deporte y Desafío [Sports and Challenge Foundation], in 2018 Fundación Prosegur organized the first inclusive Camino de Santiago, in which employees from various delegations in Spain accompanied disabled people along 100 km stretches of the road. This is a pilgrimage divided into five stages marked by companionship and the will to succeed, where teamwork is essential for reaching a key goal: fostering a more inclusive society for people with different capacities. For the volunteers it was a unique experience in which they learned a "lesson of strength, life and overcoming."
© Copyright 2019 Prosegur
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. . . American language
Haitian Kreyol: "My idea doesn't tell me to..." means "I don't want to." "We" and "you plural" are expressed by the same word ("nou"): the plural involved in the conversation as opposed to the plural outside it.
While I had insomnia, I played Dean Martin. That's the game where you truncate an Italian celebrity's name as many syllables as needed to Americanize it. For example, movie producer Dean De Loren. My best effort this morning was the famous film couple Fed Felon and Juliet Mason.
Ich bin ein Berlitzer: Tor Kristensen, who's responsible for some of the nicest Shockwave projects around, pointed out that I mistakenly allowed a German's claim to be Danish to pass without comment:
In danish you'd say:
"Jeg er Dansk."
For the phonetically inclined: Yai air danceK.
Tor also confirms the European-wide reputation of "Berliner":
I can go buy some (lovely) berliners at the bakery right by my house. suger frosted doughnutty things filled with jelly. It's fairly common here for cities to have a pastry or specific bread-thing associated with them. There's also "Weinerbrød" (Veen-er-bro-choking noise-d), which literally means "Vienna Bread".
Italiana como ella e dice: Walking through the aisle of the plane to Rome, I overheard the following language lesson:
"If you were going to say 'I'm a tree,' here's how you'd say it."
The New Diversity: Some of the darkest checkers of my checkered college career were supplied by Mr. T, a math teacher with a head like a pyramid and a voice like a Korean cappucino machine (link via Obscure Store). No one would call mathematics a universal language after sitting through one of Mr. T's lectures. Only his blustering protest "But you have this in algebra!" was parsible -- and that only through repetition, since it was his answer to any request for clarification.
Although most of his students flunked most of his tests, Mr. T realized that our grade security was closely linked to his job security, and so every student passed his courses satisfactorily enough to muffle protest.
Since I was a very bad math student, I should probably feel more grateful towards Mr. T than I do. OK, then: Mr. T, all is forgiven!
The Conservation of American Slang: "High and wide" (as in the "Rawhide" song's "Soon you'll be living high and wide") is exactly equivalent to "dope and fat."
There's no way for I, you, one, and we to all have the same single experience. But one single experience might be described equally well by using any of the pronouns I, you, one, or we:
"I/you/one/we read this item and ask myself/yourself/oneself/ourselves: what the --?"
Spoken, this is a very short story: The nicest father-and-son event I can remember was during my 1981 visit from college when we drove together to see Sam Fuller's war movie The Big Red One. When we got back home, my mother asked us, "So how was 'The Big Red One'?"
In print, it needs some explanation. Fuller's title refers to the numeral on the insignia of the First Infantry Division, and so each word carries equal weight: "the BIG, RED, ONE," like "the hootchie kootchie man" or "the solid gold Cadillac." Whereas my mother rendered its "one" more generically, swallowing it, as in "they're all very nice but I think I'll take the big red one."
When I told this story to Earl Jackson, I figured he'd say something about the Phallus, and then I'd say something about not talking that way about my mama, and so on. Instead he said, "That's evidence that English is a tonal language."
Juliet Clark has since pointed out another tonal moment in movie history: RKO's making Nicholas Ray change the title of his adapation of the novel Thieves Like Us (as in "all those judges and politicians are just thieves like us") because the audience might misread it as "The law-abiding public can't stand to watch this thing, but thieves LIKE us."
Movie Comment: It's not surprising that the best parts of Topsy Turvy ("IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE WATCHING A BUNCH OF EXTRAS STAND UP AND CHEER!" - NY Film Critics) are the backstage-verité scenes -- given his working methods, rehearsals are probably pretty much all Mike Leigh sees of life nowadays -- but even some of those seemed a little queasy. Like the orchestral runthrough where an undisciplined fiddler refers to superstar conductor-composer Sullivan as "Dr. Sullivan" and is heartily corrected ('cause I guess it's supposed to be "Sir Arthur") by a fellow orchestra member, earning appreciative chuckles from the elderly Berkeley audience, who undoubtedly have their own problems with uppity underlings.
Man, I was with the sloppy guy: the only really proper title for a musician is "Perfesser." "Doctor" was already pushing it!
As Nature's Nobleman, H. L. Mencken, pointed out in The American Language: Supplement I, us Americans don't get a lot of practice when it comes to English titular grammar like "Lord before His Grace except after Excellency." Since it was clear that his copyeditors were never going to get titles right, in 1942, Robert R. McCormick, editor of the Chicago Tribune, decided it wasn't worth the trouble to print them at all. But then the English Disapproval Chorale (lead tenor the London Daily Telegraph, owned by Baron Camrose of Long Cross, né William Ewett Barry) turned out not to like that either.
Mencken quotes McCormick's response:
Obviously there would be no confusion in any one's mind if we omitted the Sir from Gen. Sir Bernard Montgomery. Nor would any one be in doubt about the identity of the person described as Gov. Windsor of the Bahamas. These changes in style would promote the idea in American minds that our allies, like us, are fighting for democracy....
So far as this country is concerned it will make considerable sacrifices to preserve a British democracy, but it doesn't find any great satisfaction in fighting for an aristocratic Britain. In deference to American opinion we should expect the British to abolish their titles and the privileges that go with them. After all, the deprivation wouldn't amount to much; it isn't as if Camrose didn't have another name that sounds less like soap to fall back on.
The widespread confusion between "obtuse" and "abstruse" puzzled me until I realized that it maps to the double meaning of "dense" in "dense writing" and in "dense reader."
When we want to point out inefficiency in the transmission of information (via peterme), we find it more idiomatic to point to the receiver or to the transmitter than to the wire between them. Since it doesn't really matter which of the two we point to, we end up using the same adjective for both.
Neuraesthetics: The Poetic
Many disciplines implicitly assume a distinction between literal and figurative language, with the figurative posited as secondary and "poetic," a hoity-toity exception to the common run of the tongue. However, working language doesn't make much of that distinction. Rather than being treated as optional ornamentation, metaphor and simile are essential aspects of normal speech.
Timing tests show that listeners don't wait until a literal meaning has been discarded before processing for metaphoric meaning. There are no clear differences in pauses or hesitations between literal and figurative speech.
The ability to use figurative language develops long before the ability to rephrase it in terms of "literal" meaning.
First comes use of figurative language ("my truck died"); then recognition of the correct paraphrases for figures of speech; then the ability to paraphrase; and finally the ability to explain the figures.
Spoken language is richer than literary language.
Speakers produce an average of 15 novel and 34 cliched figures of speech per 1000 words. One study of 500,000 words of American literature found only 3 novel figures per 1000 words. (A study of English Renaissance literature or hip-hop lyrics might show different results....)
Logical-minded philosophers are pretty much at the same level as folk etymologists when it comes to explaining cognitive processes, which I guess is why the pre-neural-net generation of AI research was such a flop. Doing the research always beats common-sense thinking in these games....
(Data from "Figurative language and cognitive psychology," Pollio, Smith, & Pollio, Language and Cognitive Processes, 1990)
Earl Jackson, Jr., sends these addenda to our notes on English as a tonal language:
I like the link to tone languages a lot but they are misleading when they turn to Japanese. They should be making a clear consistent distinction between tone and pitch. Japanese has relative pitch contours. Chinese and other actual tone languages have absolute pitch. So in Japanese the difference between hasi desu "it's chopsticks" and hasi desu "it's a bridge" is clear because of the different relative pitch between the first and second word. If you were to walk into a room and say an unaccented Japanese word and walk out, there would be no way of determining whether you meant the fully unaccented word or a homonym that has its accent fall on the last syllable. Without a following word, they would sound identical. But if a Chinese person walked into a room, said "ma," and walked out, native speakers would instantly know whether it meant "horse," "hemp," or "mother."
I used to do the following test to my classes. I would write something on the board but cover it up and then say when I reveal the line on the board I will call on people at random and I want that person to read it aloud without thinking about it. I always called one woman and one boy. What was written on the board was the following line:
boys like me
This is a Gary Newman song. I deliberately write without a period or caps so that there is nothing determining the choice. I found that generally speaking women read this line as a sentence and boys as a noun phrase.
Distribution of English Words in Diary of a Shinjuku Thief
30 "nonsense"
8 "sex"
2 "American"
1 "why"
How to Read the Hotsy Totsy Club (Aloud)
I may be a pig-ignant redneck, but by gum I ain't gonna have what meagre tools I got grabbed outa my draggingly-knuckled hands. Like, here's an inspiring elaboration (link via BookNotes) of the many uses of "like" in current American speech, which somehow is supposed to convince me that I should avoid the word. Will such a concise and adaptable bundle of usage be discarded out of fear of offending John Simon? Unlikley.
While still twitching in this fit of grammar rebellion, I noticed another justification (via Ecologues) for the singular-gender-neutral "they" (not that it really needs any more):
"A crucial theme of the book is how, in order to create something 'in the name' of Sappho, a writer must also 'forget' something about her -- almost wilfully blind himself to some critical aspect of her legacy."
(Also contra the otherwise delightful Terry Castle, I like the sound of "candid maidenhood." Only the sound, I hasten to add, only the sound -- the "n"s and "d"s are so nicely arranged....)
Those who've wondered whether the world would be a better place if this site was updated less often should have sufficient data by now, I reckon....
Being neither a Bush, a tobacco company, nor a gun purchaser, I have no secrets. It's just that my list of delays offers little in the way of instruction or entertainment -- save perhaps the following:
2001-11-22 - Better to dive than to crash
A seal's head emerges, facing shore; it pivots 180 degrees and spots the oncoming swell -- an exclamation mark sproinging into existence overhead -- and the seal ducks straight down, its tail waving in the air for a dubba-duh-dubba-duh instant before disappearing.
2001-12-05 - Consumer report
The much-linked-to but underreported-on hardware vendor APDrives.com turned out to be another front for "Florida Computers" (aka USBGear aka QualityCables): a professional-looking ecommerce site in which no links worked except those directly related to taking money. Phone calls weren't returned, the "online order tracking" form simply reloaded the page, and email was either unanswered or (in the case of "support@qualitycables.com") bounced back. My order eventually showed up, but the experience could only be recommended to the hardiest of online shoppers.
Update - On January 28, 2002, APDrive's Rad Rozycki finally sent a response to my queries of December 5 and December 6, 2001, with the following added note: "I do not appreciate the link you gave us and would kindly ask for removal of this information!" The next day, he sent eleven more vehement emails ("Last time I checked if someone accuses you of something they better have some proof or a very good lawyer!") and posted a denunciation of me on his company's website. I can't say that this tardy outburst of attention has improved my opinion of his customer support, but Your Reaction May Vary.
2001-12-09 - Beginning of an era
On this day, I encountered the exclamation "Gosh all hemlock!" in two completely separate sources: email from Joseph Whitehill to me and a letter from Jonathan Williams to the London Review of Books:
In her article about J.R.R. Tolkien, Jenny Turner (LRB, 15 November) mentions that 'Tolkien was immediately and enduringly popular, unlike the writers of OuLiPo or the Black Mountain School.' I don't know what OuLiPo is, but I must yell out as one of the few Black Mountain writers left on foot. I read The Hobbit in 1940, at the age of ten, and Lord of the Rings in my twenties. The other great fan in our circle was the poet Robert Duncan. Charles Olson, Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn and Joel Oppenheimer wouldn't read stuff like this. Leave it to the fruitcakes! It puzzles me to read Turner (and Philip Pullman on several occasions) going on about Tolkien's 'dreadful prose style'. Tolkien is even taken to task for using the word 'noisome'. Gosh all hemlock, as people used to say. Philip Sidney used 'noisome'. And a decade or two before Tolkien, H.P. Lovecraft used 'noisome' like there was no tomorrow. I have reread Lord of the Rings maybe five or six times over the past forty years and every time I am thrilled by the language. The style is direct, transparent and unadorned, making it perfect for all the descriptions of the landscapes, while the characters say affectionate and modest natural things to each other. What could be better?
Highlands, North Carolina
2001-12-15 - Better to dive than to crash, cont.
From L. A. Weekly's "Woman Seeking Man" personals:
EX-VEGAS DANCER, with full moon eternally lit, has tattoos and hip hop
body, seeks wild man from surfworld; intensely funny, hard worker, hard
lover. Please be pretty like me. P.S. Lost legs in surfing accident.
(Pasadena) Call Box 3009.
Although my usually beloved readers were of no help in tracing the origins of "Is dis a system?" and therefore are, per threat, to be smote again with the jawbone of a Betsy lyric:
I'm just the mother type,
You want no other type,
And I'll be very chummy with the stork.
All babies charm me, dear,
You'll have an army, dear,
And we'll make London smaller than New York.
and another (SMACK) for luck (SMACK!!):
At the Saskatchewan,
We will not scratch you on
Your race
Or on your face;
We'd let Lon Chaney in.
and, what the heck, I'm starting to enjoy this:
If you don't understand my language
You must be a big dumb Dora.
My people make the Bronx and Brooklyn
Look like Sodom and Gomorrah!
We are here two million strong,
Not counting the Assyrians
And many Christian Scientists
And several Presbyterians.
Ho K.
...anyhow, never mind, it doesn't matter, 'cause the mysterious unseen (and probably unwashed) hand of the American muse has already hooked my snoot in the right direction. While trying to use up some trade at Moe's, I found a copy of Nize Baby, prose mitt illustrations from Milt Gross yet. What I really wanted was a pure collection of comics from Milt Gross, but I never get what I really want, so I brought the book home anyway: at least it was Milt Gross, and for a high-low-brow waggler the pages' surface resemblance to contemporaneous work by John Dos Passos and William Carlos Williams was irresistable:
First Floor —So it was a socksess de hoperation?
Second Floor — A whole night long I couldn't slip.
First Floor —Wos boddering you maybe de — efter-defects, ha?
Second Floor —No — was cerrying on in de next bat from me a patient someting tarrible. So I made a complain to de head sturgeon from de hospital. So he explained wot he was soffering from attaletic fits!
First Floor —So you came home.
Second Floor —Hm. I went for a copple of wicks to rest in a cemetarium so den I came home.
Third Floor —So, Isidor! (SMACK) Wid a paddler you ronning arond to paddle de hepples, ha? (SMACK) De huss from de paddler you got to fid yet, he should bite you off maybe a feenger, ha? (SMACK) To de dalicatassen store you wouldn't go, when she esks you de momma, ha? (SMACK) De lassons wot you got to stoddy you don't do it, ha? (SMACK) Benenas you should paddle better, ha? (SMACK) A hockster you should grow opp maybe yet, ha? ( SMACK.) Fourth Floor —Oohoo nize baby, itt opp all de mosh witt milk so momma'll gonna tell you a Ferry Tale about De Dug in de Manager. Wance oppon a time was seeting a dug in a manager. So de manager was full from hay wit hoats. So it came along a cow so he said, "I'm filling a leedle hongry —I tink wot I'll goin' in de manager und have a leedle bite hay maybe." (Nize baby take anodder spoon mosh witt milk.) So it came in de cow — but dot doidy dug was sotch a crenk witt a minn ting wot you wouldn't billive it could exeest. So he stodded in to bok —"Gr-r-r-rrr! Gerraderhere, you cow!!" So de cow went away like a gantleman — so de naxt day he came beck so dot doidy dug sad. "Grrr-rr-rrr! Gerradahere, you cow!!" So de cow sad, "Wot's de metter? You don't want me I should itt it opp de hay??" So de dug sad, "NO!!" So de cow sad, "You want maybe you should itt it opp yourself de hay?" So de dug sad, "NO! I don't want I should itt it und I don't want you should itt it." So de cow sad, "Hm, you don't want you should itt it und you don't want I should itt it. Is diss a system???" (Oohoo, sotch a dollink baby ate opp all de mosh witt milk!)
The undoubtedly perspiring reader who made it to the end of Fourth Floor's Ferry Tale will have noticed our prey at bay. (The more reasonable reader who gave up early on is directed to the next-to-last sentence.) In fact, our prey is all over the dang place! So here's why, failing counterargument from R. Crumb or someone like him, I think Milt Gross is the ultimate source:
You need a catchphrase to make it in this wicked world, and Milt Gross gives the peculiar catchphrase "Is diss a system?" the blanket coverage of an assured trademark -- it's in pretty much every other column. (His claim to "Banana oil!" seems more contestable, though he's still two years earlier than the first OED attestation, P. G. Wodehouse in 1927.)
It fits for Hart to be making a topical reference: the original "Gross Exaggerations" columns were running in the New York World in 1925, the Nize Baby collection was a 1926 bestseller, and Betsy flopped onto the Broadway boards like a suicidal inedible fish on December 28, 1926.
Internet research at its finest: two guys on Usenet credited it to Gross in passing.
Hm! See, is de law from gratification!
The Public Language of Cats
The intersection of cat and English consists of three words: the query "Well?", the imperative "Now," and the rarely used "Yeah." Our results replicate observations of other classes of paranoid needy tourists, finding irritatingly insistant reliance on this limited shared vocabulary due to unrealistic expectations of communication via nuanced variations in prosody.
Software Pirate Eggcarrrhn
for Doug Asherman
"By scope creep I mean that the feature enhancements reach a critical point at which they threaten changing the project's core mission. Your word processor is boarding on an office suite. Your text editor is boarding on an operating system."
Note how neatly this extracts the connotation of "encroachment" from the more ambiguous "bordering". It's got my vote in the Accepted Usage 2024 primaries.
In Search of Beezark
Into Me and My Gal's 19 days of shooting and 79 minutes of footage Raoul Walsh and team crammed comedy, romance, suspense, melodrama, sex both obsessive and healthy, a mute quadraplegic war vet, a lot of drinking, a cafe straight out of Thimble Theater, and a startlingly ahead-of-its-time caper sequence, and still maintained a relaxed keep-the-cameras-rolling kind of mood.
But that's not the point. The point is that Spencer Tracy and Joan Bennett keep using the word "beezark" (or "beezok") — the same way they use "dope", as a roughneck endearment.
They really love that word. It's kind of infectious.
And, according to pre-Code ace Juliet Clark, in 1933's The Mayor of Hell, Jimmy Cagney addresses a reform school guard as "Ya screw... ya beezok" (or "beezark").
The "beezark" spelling is fairly well attested on the web:
Two pulp stories (cautiously excised of original publication dates) by Thomas Thursday
Some ambiguous applications to Babe Ruth by Damon Runyon
A box of alphabetically ordered clippings of word usages, usages not noted, with "Beezark" close to "Beezok"
The intertitle cards of the 1928 Marion Davies vehicle, Show People
It doesn't appear, however, in the OED or Webster's or the Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, or in any of the several dozen reference works at UC Berkeley except one goddamned thesaurus where it's listed bare-assed as a "Term of disparagement", or in the archives of American Speech.
The last time I asked my readers for slang origins, it worked out pretty well. (I found the origin myself, but that's still pretty well.) This time the challenge is so great that I feel compelled to ask non-readers even. Any idea where this comes from?
beezark, n. : from the Old Norse 'baresark' or 'berserker'; one who is sufficiently incensed in battle to remove his upper garment (the sark or bearnie) and run amuck. Hence any lunatical or foolish fellow, ne'er-do-well, nincompoop or ragamuffin.
Thanks, Anon, our source for all good things. As a reader of Celtic and Icelandic sagas and a resident of Berkeley, that coincidence came to my mind as well. But "ber" to "bee" seemed a wide unattested leap to take across centuries of intervening North American immigrations, and so I didn't trust my instincts. Do you have a reason to? I'm just folk, and you know how people talk about folk etymology.
UPDATE: Language Hat, that wonderful wonderful Hat, to the rescue:
You may be having problems because you're spelling it "wrong" (though of course the spelling of slang terms isn't exactly set in stone); my reference books have it as "bezark." The Historical Dictionary of American Slang says:
bezark [orig. unkn.] an odd or contemptible man or woman. ca1925 in D. Runyon Poems for Men 15: This bezark... was once so quiet that we called him Silent Sam. 1929 in R.E. Howard Book 64: At this moment some bezark came barging up to our table and... leaned over and leered engagingly at my girl. Ibid. 78: Add to this the fact that he frequently shoved me against the wall, and you can get an idea what kind of a bezark I was fighting. 1932 AS (June) 329: Bezark -- a person [at Johns Hopkins Univ.]. 1942-49 Goldin et al. DAUL 259: Don't crack to that bezark (girl) of yours about touches (robberies).
(You can read an excerpt of the Robert E. Howard story here.)
And Cassell says:
bezark n. [1920s-40s] (US) an eccentric or unpleasant person. [? SE berserk]
I checked "beezark", I checked "beezok", I checked "bizok", but, dang, I must not have checked "bezark".
I mentioned this to one of your non-readers this afternoon, and he said they don't like it when you talk about them. He said they had a file, some charts, a graph or two. That it came up at meetings. And that's all he'd say about it.
How irksome.
Cobra Libre writes:
I don't actually have anything useful to add to "In Search of Beezark," but, by happy coincidence, my nighttime reading has recently taken a detour into Icelandic sagas, and so last night I opened up my new used copy of "Egil's Saga" to read:
"There was a man called Ulf Bjalfason. His mother was Hallbera, daughter of Ulf the Fearless, and she was the sister of Hallbjorn Half-Troll of Hrafnista, father of Ketil Trout. Ulf was so big and powerful that there was no one to match him. As a young man he used to go off on viking trips looking for plunder, and his partner in these was a man of good family called Berle-Kari, strong and full of courage. He was a berserk."
I'd like that last sentence on my tombstone, but I'm far too shy to run around amuck shirtless.
Me, I'd like the second sentence on my tombstone.
In fact, I'd like so many things on my tombstone, I may have to die more than once. Luckily, I'm a coward!
I happened to be re-reading 'The Thirteen Gun Salute' by Patick O'Brian just before checking in here, and there was an amusing (short) exchange between Jack and Stephen on the subject of 'running amock' 'or amuck?', Jack wonders; the subject comes up because of a couple of beserkers in Malaya who are, well, running amok, cutting people up. 'What a fellow you are, Stephen!' - Renfrew
UPDATE: In June 2005, the American Dialect Society Mailing List treated the subject. One poster noted many instances of "Bezark" as a surname. I'd noticed that myself, guessing that it's a corruption of the even more common family name "Bizok". And, as I had, he wondered whether the slang term might be a derogatory generalization. No evidence so far, though.
On firmer ground, Ben Zimmer moves the word's first printed attestation back to May 25, 1919:
"THE BUGS have no use for the beezark who carries a picture of himself in the back of his watch. It's a crippled loving cup that only has one handle." - "Two and Three: Putting the Next One Over" by Bugs Baer, Atlanta Constitution
Zimmer cited some more examples from Baer's column, and asked "Did Baer coin it, or just popularize it?"
UPDATE: A year later, and reader john l adds:
I stumbled across your reference to Thomas Thursday and the use of the word "beezark." Thursday used this term frequently in his humorous pulp stories. The first instance I know of occurs in "Missed in Missouri" (Top-Notch Magazine, May 15, 1920): "We put half of the side show on the bally doing all kinds of stunts, but didn’t succeed in getting more than five beezarks to squander a dime." "Beezark" is one of many comic invectives he employed, e.g. yamneck, yapbean, dilbo, boobist, hickwah, etc. Thursday's publishing record is thin prior to 1920, but there's a remote chance he predates your 1919 refs, but it wouldn't be by much.
UPDATE 2010-10-21 : Terence O'Connell adds:
Another movie instance, which started my search: near the end of Sailor’s Luck, a 1933 Raoul Walsh movie, James Dunn is quarreling with his girl friend Sally Eilers, whom he suspects of infidelity, and says something that sounds like "All you beezoks are alike."
UPDATE 2012-05-26 : Justin Patton adds (much to my embarrassment, since I bought the source text back in the 1980s):
Stumbled across “Beezark” in a Thimble Theater strip from October 12, 1929, and when looking it up online I found your site. Popeye and Castor Oyl are scammed into buying a “brass mine” in the Beezark Mountains, and then travel there to find that it doesn’t exist. The Beezark Mountains, or Beezark Center as it is later referred to over the next few months in the strip, are the primary location of the story arc that lasts until 1930, and are referenced several times. The residents of the Beezark area seem to be poor, naïve, farmers with large numbers or children, and many of them are represented sporting long beards and of advanced age (the police officer, fire chief, etc.). It seemed as though they might have been roughly based on residents of the Ozark Mountain area of the time.
October 12, 1929 – “Popeye and myself are going down to the Beezark Mountains and locate our brass mine.” – Castor Oyl
February 13, 1930 – “It happened about a month ago – I was strolling along the beach near Beezark Center in America.” – Fanny Foster
There are many other references between these two and afterwards, including a misspelling at one point of “Bezark”.
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A Cut Above the Rest
Frank's Chop Shop is not your traditional grooming experience.
It may look like a modest barber shop from the outside, but as soon as you set foot in Frank’s Chop Shop you enter a private universe where devoted street culture meets a classic, detailed aesthetic. The name of the shop pays homage to none other than man of leisure ahead of his time Benjamin Franklin. The art collection, featuring the likes of Jamel Shabazz, Ricky Powell, and Futura, is complimented by beautiful vintage barber chairs and one-of-a-kind accessories. Founded by low-key marketing guru Michael Malbon, the shop is managed on the daily by head barber, painter, and punk enthusiast Brandon (Mr. Bee) Wiseman. With a loyal fan base ranging from fly girls and young industry professionals to gilded hip-hop stars and Hollywood's red carpet elite, the Essex Street shop has become an insider’s destination. On any given day, you might be seated in a chair next to Rick Ross, Wu-Tang’s GZA, Jake Gyllenhaal, or Drake. We recently spent time talking with Mr. Bee about his favorite cuts, his favorite clients, and his most preferred high.
How and when did you start rocking with Frank’s Chop Shop?
I have been rocking with FRANK'S for a very long time. My partner Mike and I had mutual friends that put us together when the idea for a barber shop came on the table. We opened in 2006 but I have been participating in FRANK'S events well beyond!
What do you appreciate most about your position there?
I give thanks every day to God for my position here. I have the luxury of creating an atmosphere with music, conversations, and most importantly haircuts. This house is a family establishment that has not only provided me with a career but has also allowed me to form friendships and bonds that will last a lifetime.
How did you first get interested in styling men’s hair?
I started cutting hair from a very young age as a form of self-expression. At the time, myself and my crew were experimenting with style and music so it was only natural that our haircuts reflected that. I was already painting so cutting hair was another way to put my spin on things. Eventually it became my career but looking back that was never the plan!
A good hair cut is almost like a lifestyle accessory. Can you comment on that?
A good haircut doesn't necessarily mean it's polished or neatly groomed. Much like the clothes we wear or the expression on our faces, our haircuts project an image to the world around us. I encourage people to try new things and understand you can have a hairstyle that can be cut and worn in different fashions depending on the circumstances.
How do you build a vibe and connect with your clients?
I build a vibe and connect with my clients by being a good listener, giving them inside info on music, art, parties and overall community comings and goings. I also make sure I give haircuts that are detail oriented no matter how short or how long!
Can you tell us about a favorite client? A favorite style you’ve created?
Honestly, there are many clients I have had the pleasure of cutting. I've watched some of my fav rappers such as WU TANG CLAN, MOBB DEEP, PRO ERA, and DIE ANTWOORD get in my chair to graffiti legends such as STAY HIGH 149, KEO XMEN, and JAMES TOP, all of whom were huge players in the golden age of subway art. There's something to be said about making a friendship and servicing a haircut to such influential people you've admired.
You’re also a painter and member of the band Scraper’s, any other creative outlets?
I love the arts; it's always been my passion. Painting and fronting a hardcore punk band are two things I enjoy pushing. As of late, I've been taking a shot at some cut and sew pieces I will be showcasing in the near future. Look out for my new book “Style is King.”
How does cannabis enhance your creative process?
Aaaahhhh the HOLY TREE! I appreciate the organic nature of it. I use it to heighten my awareness as well as wind down depending on my mood. I try not to abuse it. I believe it's there for a reason and like all things balance is key.
Why do you think the L.E.S. is still such a cool, genuine, legitimate neighborhood?
The L.E.S. has genuine ghosts in the streets that have beaten a path – it's inevitable that spirit of creativity and entrepreneurship is in the air. A lot of neighborhoods have unfortunately felt the push of gentrification, leaving their identity open to interpretation. This neck of the woods luckily has generations of families who are still here. Not to say the hood isn't changing because it is, but I believe people come with respect for the history here. It's a hood full of diversity that we celebrate to this day.
What’s your favorite high?
My fav high is feeling carefree!!
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Sudden Wealth
Corporate Retirement Plan Consulting
Stephen E. Norton
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The Arts Mean Business
Make no mistake – supporting the arts has benefits for our communities, the economy, our tax bills and more.
When it comes to supporting the arts, it’s more than a plaque on the back of a theater seat, your name in a program or your company’s logo on a banner. The effort inspires good will, offers potential tax benefits, and creates space for creativity, inspiration, beauty, social commentary, and thought-provoking conversations.
Yet philanthropic individuals, funds and corporations may deprioritize arts funding in favor of more urgent – and certainly worthwhile causes – such as children’s health initiatives, poverty issues or humanitarian crises around the world. In fact, funding for arts and culture has dropped from well over 13% in the early 2000s to an estimated 8% of total U.S. foundation giving.
That may be because it can be hard to see the true impact of funding a theater program or sponsoring the Degas exhibit at the museum of fine arts. In reality, the arts themselves – fine art, pop art, live performances, sculpture, music, dance, street art, etc. – do so much more than beautify our communities, bring joy and inspire creativity. They make our cities and towns better places to live and work – helping to attract and retain talented employees. They offer an insight into our shared humanity and strengthen the social fabric that connects us.
Beyond that, you may see a very real economic impact, as cultural organizations create jobs, attract tourists and funnel money to local businesses.
Painting the picture
The more than 100,000 arts and cultural institutions create more than “just” art. Here’s a look:
$729.6 billion: contributions to the U.S. economy
4.2%: contributions to domestic GDP
4.6 million: number of employees
$27.5 billion: generated revenue to local, state and federal governments
69%: non-local patrons who visited a destination specifically for an arts event
$102.5 billion: amount that spending by arts audiences sends to local businesses
And just like with any charitable endeavor, there are several ways to get involved – big and small.
Commission and buy jewelry and art from living artists.
Attend cultural events, recitals, showcases and concerts; visit museums.
Encourage schools’ art, music, dance and theater departments through attendance and donations of money, stock or equipment.
Serve on the boards of arts committees.
Donate to arts organizations. This can range from a sustaining membership to corporate sponsorship.
Support community outreach with your time and talents.
Source: Americans for the Arts, “Arts & Economic Prosperity 5;” National Endowment for the Arts, “The Arts and Economic Growth,” April 2017; Grantmakers in the Arts, “Arts Funding at Twenty-Five: What Data and Analysis Continue to Tell Funders about the Field”
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Publisher: Kensington Books
These Are Not Your Fairy Godmothers When Toots Loudenberry relocated to Los Angeles from South Carolina to be near her daughter, Abby, she expected to bump into the occasional celebrity. She just never expected them to be dead. Meanwhile, Toots and her friends Sophie and Mavis are concerned that the prestigious Dr. Sameer's budding romance with fellow Godmother Ida may have something to do with his ailing bank balance. And Abby's attempted makeover of the celebrity magazine The Informer into the most talked-about tabloid in town could end more than just her career. But the Godmothers wouldn't be the Godmothers if they weren't pulling a few behind-the-scenes strings, and Abby's hopes of changing the fortunes of The Informer are still alive. Yet it'll take an assist from a source no one could have predicted, let alone see, to secure a story that will shake Tinseltown to its very core. Praise for Fern Michaels and Exclusive "Delightful...Witty, charming, and complicated, these four childhood chums prove that life is a gift no matter what age you are."-RT Book Reviews, 4.5 Stars "There's a reason Fern Michaels has published nearly 100 books: she's got a talent for churning out page-turners. Readers will finish this one in a single sitting."-Charleston Magazine
Author(s): Fern Michaels
Series: Godmothers Series No: 2
Genre: Literary Fiction, Women's Fiction
Original Publish Date: Sep 01, 2010
Narrator(s): Natalie Ross
Genre: General Fiction, Romance
Product Number B2836
Product Number BM699
by Fern Michaels
Far and Away
Holly and Ivy
Kentucky Rich
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Who We
Opinion Formers
Pop-Up Puppy School at #Chatswoof is part of a packed programme of fun for half-term
Chatsworth’s famous 105-acre garden will be turning on the taps for a celebration of its wonderful waterworks over half-term while over in the farmyard there’s fun for all the family as the estate’s experts demonstrate the ancient heritage skills still practised in our rural communities.
Meanwhile, the Cavendish family’s love of dogs means the #Chatswoof season includes a packed programme of doggie-fun in the garden with a dog agility course at the Maze that will test even the most energetic pooches. Over in the house, ‘The Dog: A Celebration at Chatsworth’ includes exceptional artworks from Constable, Gainsborough, David Hockney and Jeff Koons, as well as fascinating curios such as a dog’s four poster bed.
Wonderful Waterworks
Four lakes in the hills above the house, holding more than 80 million litres, supply Chatsworth’s water features. Relying on gravity, an elaborate system of ponds, watercourses and pipes, the water enters the garden above the Cascade before tumbling down its 24 steps, each playing a different sound.
The Cascade House will have its ‘jets’ turned on periodically during the week to give a good soaking to the unwary, while the 122m water drop from the lakes will allow the gravity-powered Emperor Fountain to be played at its full height of 90 metres.
Hands-on heritage skills
In the farmyard, the traditional Derbyshire custom of well-dressing, in which wells, springs and other water sources across the county are decorated with designs created from flower petals, is just one a host of rural skills are being taught this spring half term (25 – 31 May).
Originally associated with a belief in water deities, well-dressing is joined by dry stone walling, fly fishing, wool weaving and spinning, in a series of hands-on, interactive sessions open to both children and adults (see below for details).
There will also be demonstrations of how to dress a Shire horse, including platting and mounting brasses, while a farrier will demonstrate hoof care, including trimming and balancing and the placing of shoes on their hooves.
Taught by seasoned experts, many of whom work on the Chatsworth Estate, each session is designed to show children and families the centuries-old skills still used in rural communities.
Finally, any budding young farmers, aged between 6-11, will be able to join the farmyard team for some hands-on involvement in caring for the Chatsworth Farmyard animals including horses, pigs and sheep.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday 25-27 May: Build a mini dry stone wall as well as learning about their history from Sally Hodgson who has nearly 30 years’ experience of dry stone walling and is committed to retaining the heritage of the beautiful Derbyshire landscape.
Tuesday 28 May: Join Stuart Crofts to take a closer look at local river life by getting close up to the many fascinating creatures found in the river Derwent using powerful magnifying equipment.
Margaret Robson, wool spinner: Learn about the process of turning fleece to wool by spinning and weaving.
Peter Eyre will introduce one of his giant shire horses and demonstrate how these gentle giants are platted and dressed with brasses and leather.
Wednesday 29 May: Stuart Croft will be making fishing flies to imitate the natural food that trout feed on and children will be able to make their own insect models from craft materials in the farmyard.
Thursday 30 May: Bobbie Harvey will be helping adults and children to make their own mine well dressing to take away in a hands-on session to say ‘thank you’ for the water.
Friday 31 May: Bobbie Harvey will be helping adults and children to make their own mine well dressing to take away in a hands-on session to say ‘thank you’ for the water.
Farrier Gavin Harris will demonstrate hoof care, including trimming and balancing and the placing of shoes on horses’ hooves.
It’s a dog’s life
Man’s best friend has taken centre stage at Chatsworth this year and half-term is no exception.
The Cavendish family are celebrating their love of dogs over the centuries with activities across the garden, parkland and wider estate. The #Chatswoof season includes lots of opportunities to get involved and the dog agility course at the Maze will test even the most energetic pooches.
In the house, ‘The Dog: A Celebration at Chatsworth’ is this year’s main exhibition with exceptional artworks from Constable, Stubbs, Gainsborough and Landseer sitting alongside contemporary pieces by David Hockney, Lucian Freud, Jeff Koons, Antony Gormley and Elisabeth Frink.
The Cavendish’s personal relationships with their dogs are featured in photographs, paintings and letters ranging from Duchess Georgiana in the 18th century, to Duchess Deborah in the 20th and Duchess Amanda in the 21st.
Last year 24 puppies descended on Chatsworth for the filming of Channel 4’s new series Puppy Schooi and the first of four hour-long episodes is broadcast tonight at 8pm (Friday 17 May) on Channel 4.
Every year, almost a million of us enjoy the fun and excitement of getting a puppy – but puppy parenthood can be hard work. Channel 4’s pop-up Puppy School, set against the backdrop of Chatsworth House, is run by three of the UK’s leading dog experts: Oli Juste, Katie Patmore and Hannah Molloy.
Each week, a new class of puppy parents from across the country will enrol. Through bespoke classes at puppy school, and coaching at home, they’ll learn how to navigate the minefield of puppy parenthood, as the team of trainers do their best to ensure that each puppy lives up to the special role it must fulfil in their family’s lives.
www.chatsworth.org
© 2020 Redbrick Communications Limited. All rights reserved. Registered in England Company No. 3181620
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Alive! Strategies for Transformation: Introduction
By Jess Clarke and Marcy Rein
The resurgence of direct action as a viable strategy for change has energized a new generation of activists and provides a springboard for launching a movement of movements that can challenge the domination of capital in social, economic and political spheres. Street protests are just one part of this expanding constellation of strategies. Cultural consciousness and personal healing are also being brought to bear in the effort to foster long-haul sustainability. From inside of prison, from inside the heart—people are moving out into community and into connection with the earth.
The Movement for Black Lives is bringing together a broad cross-section of African American organizations and communities to conduct intersectional analysis and practice of advancing Black liberation beyond the defensive position of denouncing state violence and reforming policing practices. (Garza p. 21) *
The civil rights movement, circa 1955-65, was a critical factor in paving the way for the anti-war, environmental and feminist movements of the late 1960s and early 1970s.1 But after historic achievements in voting rights, housing rights and environmental regulation, and a pause in the imperial war-making, the end of the 1970s saw an increasing “silofication” of political work into single-issue or neighborhood-scale organizations that often lacked a race or class analysis. Progressive movements fractured as neoliberalism began its ruthless ascent.
Now, new formations are emerging that recognize how a revitalized Black liberation movement is pivotal, not only for advancing a racial justice agenda but for building effective coalitions that more broadly challenge capital (M.Clarke & Shekar p. 26). But these are not just coalitions of the relatively privileged. Nicole Lee, founder of Urban Peace Movement, articulates some of the core strengths of street culture that support healing from trauma and power grassroots challenges to the system of racial profiling and mass incarceration. (Lee p. 33) Participants in a landscape-gardening training program at San Quentin documented by Kelly Curry come out with a new view of the food system and ways of combatting racial injustice. (Curry p. 38). Homeless people are leading a multi-state coalition of homeless organizations that is pushing back against direct corporate rule by Business Improvement Districts and pushing forward legislation to provide human rights protections to those without a house. (J. Clarke p. 87) Activists in Oakland and San Francisco have successfully defended their rights to health and homes in battles over coal transshipment and condo tower developments in Oakland and San Francisco. (Arnold p. 10; Tepperman-Gelfant & Zisser, p. 84; D. Phillips, p. 77) All of these approaches refuse the dominant narrative about disposable populations and celebrate healing and life.
Our work as media-makers and weavers of the cultural fabric that protects our psyches from traumatic destruction makes up a large part of the content of this edition of RP&E. In our reimagining process, we identified “Arts & Culture” as a key strategy for change, opening the door to a new dimension of coverage. The articles, brought together by contributing editor Christine Joy Ferrer and correspondent Jarrel Phillips (pp. 52-76) include storytelling by Black artists from San Francisco and interviews with cultural curators Joyce Gordon and Joana Cruz. These are practical visionaries who are carving out liberated zones that rejuvenate the soul and ready us to continue the struggle.
Silicon Valley, Regional Engine
The epicenter of the wave of displacement chronicled by so many of the Black artists from San Francisco lies to the south, in Silicon Valley. The tech industry rooted there has become the Bay Area’s economic engine, shaping land-use, housing and transportation—deepening income inequality and feeding the epidemic of gentrification sweeping the region. The intertwined realities of historic economic and racial inequality are playing out in new and alas, familiar forms.
Across the region, pressure on housing prices comes partly from the growing numbers of well-paid professionals at the high-end of tech’s income gap. A spate of media reports on tech’s disproportionately white and male workforce has prompted some companies to reassess their hiring practices, but this industry has been segregated and stratified since its earliest days when it incubated at Stanford University, nourished on U.S. Defense Department contracts. White men held managerial and technical jobs, while production fell largely on immigrant women of color. Today, Blacks and Latinos hold less than 5 percent of high-paid technical positions, but a majority of the low-paid service jobs. From its beginnings, the tech industry also aggressively opposed unions, hampering workers’ efforts to better their wages and conditions. As it grew, it turned to the use of contracted workers, making life even more precarious for the people in those jobs. (Bacon, p. 125)
High-end demand puts pressure on a housing supply already constricted by a legacy of redlining, racially restrictive covenants, and exclusionary zoning. Since 1980, California law has required communities to plan and zone for their fair share of regional housing needs at all income levels. Silicon Valley cities have routinely shirked this responsibility. (Rein p. 93)
The scarcity of housing near jobs further inflates the cost of housing and makes commuting inevitable. The limited coverage and infrequency of service offered by the Santa Clara Valley Transportation Authority forces commuters into cars, creating pollution and congestion. Low-income families pay the biggest price, driving long distances to work, sacrificing their quality of life and paying on average 70 percent of their income for housing and transportation. Families of color are even more likely to be cost-burdened. (Goldman, p. 105)
Bob Allen, director of policy and advocacy at Urban Habitat (and our contributing editor who worked closely with Marcy Rein to pull this section together), says organizers and public officials are up against a veritable “company region.” Tech giants directly provide or fund public functions like the old company towns of the industrial era.
Several companies run their own private bus networks; Facebook has paid for additional police in Menlo Park; and Google funds city planning staff positions in Mountain View. Instead of paying taxes, they engage in large-scale giving and offer services as they see fit—but their programs lack even the flawed accountability and input structure of public services.
Now the Silicon Valley Leadership Group, which represents the region’s largest employers, is proposing a Santa Clara County transportation sales tax to “keep the region competitive” and meet tech’s demands on the region’s transportation system.
This regressive measure must be passed by two-thirds of the voters and will disproportionally burden the poorest. Of course, most tech companies don’t pay much in the way of sales tax; they have offshored manufacturing and pay no tax on the ads they sell or data they serve. Even their property taxes are lower than what residents pay. Without additional revenue, public transit will fall even further out of line with community needs.
Bus riders and their allies are organizing to win the best transportation funding measure they can within this flawed process. (Barkin, p. 115; and Rein, p. 109) Renters and low-wage workers are also organizing. Battles for living wages and rent control are keys to improving conditions for all workers. (Smooke & Ruiz, p. 99; Bloch, p. 122).
Democratize Everything
To effectively challenge the hegemony of capital in Silicon Valley and the region as a whole, our organizing needs to move beyond the silos of a transit access or housing affordability reform. A conscious analysis of where power is concentrated can help us begin building momentum to democratize the spaces where decisions that deeply affect our lives are made. We have to have staying power to affect the long drawn-out processes of public planning. We also need to bring to bear the wisdom of the dispossessed people of the street, the healing capacity of our cultural heritages, and the confrontational energy of direct action into ever more powerful coalitions.
Reimagine! writers, editors, photographers, and artists are not bystanders in this process. We are participant observers, embedded in our respective roles within our movements, and reaching out to our colleagues to try to spark a dialogue that is reciprocally strengthening.
Please join us! We need money, office space, meeting rooms, computers, but above all, we need you, our reader-sponsors who are joining us in building the road as we walk it. Subscribe!
* Italic references are to the author and page number of an article in this issue.
1. Carl Anthony: Earth Day and Environmental Justice—Then and Now, RP&E, Vol. 17 No. 1. 2010.
‹ Alive! Strategies for Transformation up Communities Unite to Stop Dirty Power — #keepitintheground ›
Alive! Strategies for Transformation
Communities Unite to Stop Dirty Power — #keepitintheground
Our Culture Bearers
Radical Healing
November 19, 6pm — Release Party: Alive!
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Home » Population Health Program Extends Continuum of Care
Population Health Program Extends Continuum of Care
Focus on standardized, efficient care
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Valley Health System’s population health program employs post-acute navigators who help coordinate care transitions to skilled nursing facilities, home health, and community providers.
The program has resulted in a reduction in its readmission rate.
Post-acute navigators and nurse navigators help patients receive all the services they need from home health and primary care physicians.
Valley also collaborates with Dispatch Health, a program that provides at-home urgent care services.
One of the major goals for health systems and others in healthcare is to move the care delivery model outside of the four walls of the hospital.
Now is the time to embrace the population health model, says Toni Modak, RN, BSN, director of population health at Valley Health System in Ridgewood, NJ.
“We have to think beyond the acute care model,” Modak says. “We have to follow patients throughout their journey and support them — not just focusing on the four walls, but thinking more globally.”
Healthcare is difficult to navigate. It is the case manager’s role to ensure patients are managed appropriately as they transition from one setting to another, she adds.
The program resulted in a 6.4% readmission rate in 2018, compared with a readmission rate of 14% before the population health program began, Modak says.
“We’re only managing a subset of our health system’s population because we’re managing Medicare and private payer accountable care organization patients,” she explains. “But we’re following the patients across the continuum, and making sure they’re managed efficiently.”
The program employs nine nurse navigators and three post-acute navigators who work with skilled nursing facilities (SNFs). These include two registered nurses and a physical therapist.
Here is how Valley Health System’s population health program provides warmer handoffs and an improved care continuum:
• Population health works with post-acute facilities. When patients are transitioned from the hospital to community providers, population health contacts post-acute providers.
“We sit in utilization review, work on standardization within the facilities, and we make sure patients are receiving high-quality physician care,” Modak says. “We work with facilities on appropriate length of stay.”
The goal is to ensure the organization fully supports patients throughout the care continuum, she adds. “We no longer look at what’s going on in those four hospital walls. We look into the community and follow their journey,” Modak explains.
The program employs post-acute navigators who are embedded in SNFs. They ensure patients transitioning to a SNF from the hospital are provided standardized, efficient care to ensure the best outcomes, she says.
For example, the post-acute navigator might ensure SNF staff are well-educated and trained on wound care if one particular patient needs that service, and the SNF does not specialize in wound treatment.
“We also provide diabetes education, and we ask difficult questions,” Modak says. “We ask if there has been education. Has there been reverse demonstration? Has the family been in to demonstrate injection?”
Nurse navigators spend a lot of time at the post-acute facilities, making sure the next level of care has been set up appropriately, she adds. “We’re trying to standardize all SNF care. They should be doing discharge instructions back to primary care. We’re working with all facilities to standardize that practice.”
• Post-acute navigators coordinate with home care. “We also work with the home care agency about their education on diabetes, insulin, and teach-back,” Modak says. “When the patient is discharged from the hospital, we might ask the home care agency to make an evening visit to make sure the patient’s daughter can inject the insulin correctly.”
The post-acute navigator confirms the home care agency is ready and all services are set up for the patient. When patients leave the SNF, the post-acute navigator makes a note about the patient receiving home care services. “The navigator collaborates with the home care nurse,” Modak says. “We work well with all home care agencies.”
Post-acute navigators work especially well with Valley Health System home care agencies. If a patient goes to a non-Valley agency, they contact the patient to confirm everything is going well, she says.
When the home care agency is within the same health system, it is easier to communicate and review case documentation. But when patients are sent to outside agencies, post-acute navigators collaborate to make sure patients are managed and all needs are met, she adds.
• Collaborate with community providers. “A big issue in our area is patients being transitioned to skilled nursing facilities from hospitals,” Modak says. “Physicians will say, ‘I didn’t know my patient was there.’ Their patient shows up on their doorstep two months later, and they had no idea.”
The population health program notifies providers of these care transitions, ensuring there are no surprises. “If they’re in the hospital or the next level of care, we notify the providers,” Modak says. “We know where our patients are and what they’re doing; the population health program is closing the gap.”
The program shares medication reconciliation and discharge summaries. “It’s a win-win for everyone, but mostly the patient,” Modak says. “We’re closing that communication gap.”
The program also ensures patients make appointments with their primary care providers after they are discharged home. This helps reduce the readmission rate, she says.
“When we started this program, we started the model on transitions of care, a seamless handoff, and streamlined communication with patients and families across the care continuum,” Modak says. “There’s no template to population health management; it’s a Wild West out there. We’re going to fall, but we’ll fall forward, seeing what works and what doesn’t work.”
The first step was to focus on transitions, but the population health program is evolving, broadening its scope, Modak says.
“We’re maximizing our impact with data, such as who has not filled prescriptions, who has had multiple emergency department visits but not primary care provider visits,” she explains.
• Work with alternative partners. In one case, a patient visited the ED 15 times in three months, and twice was admitted to the hospital.
“Obviously, there was a lot of potential,” Modak says. “Our population health nurse is working with her to talk about what resources are out there to prevent that ED visit.”
For instance, a mobile urgent care program called Dispatch Health can visit a person’s home. Dispatch Health sends a physician assistant, nurse practitioner, or emergency medicine technician.
“We partner with them so they can make urgent care visits,” Modak says. “If the patient can’t get out and go to her own provider, we work with her to call Dispatch Health to make a visit.”
The program deploys medical help to patients who are in need but do not have the resources to visit a community provider, and do not require ED care.
Another patient did not qualify for home care, but the population health team knew the patient was at risk, and needed a smoother transition. “We called mobile health, and they made a visit to the patient the next day, doing medication reconciliation, and making sure the patient was settled at home,” Modak says. “It was a nice transition to the next level of care, and the patient did very well with an extra layer of support through the mobile health program.”
After Dispatch Health sees patients, the program continues to follow the patient, ensuring the person receives the right community resources. “We can provide the patient with high-quality, efficient care at the right place,” Modak says. “We always say that, as caregivers, our first and foremost goal is to care for our population in the most efficient way.”
Providing post-acute care and case management ensures patients will receive better, more efficient care. “You will automatically see a decrease in costs; it goes hand-in-hand,” Modak says. “There will be patients in an acute state who are high-cost, high-spend, and we need to support them.”
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Case Management Advisor
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Financial Disclosure: Author Melinda Young, Editor Jill Drachenberg, Editor Jonathan Springston, Editorial Group Manager Leslie Coplin, Nurse Planner Toni Cesta, PhD, RN, FAAN, and Accreditations Manager Amy Johnson, MSN, RN, CPN, report no consultant, stockholder, speaker’s bureau, research, or other financial relationships with companies having ties to this field of study.
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memore
memoreBox
game modules
memorePlayers
memorePlaces
a box full of memories
The memoreBox
not just for dementia patients
Cycling through the streets as a postman and throwing newspapers into letterboxes, going bowling, motorcycling or playing table tennis – what used to be taken for granted is often no longer so easy in old age. The memoreBox brings these experiences to the nursing home thanks to digital technology.
The player’s movements are transmitted directly to the screen of any commercially available television set, where they can be seen as virtual but realistic events. The games integrate various therapeutic-preventive-rehabilitative elements which have been developed from findings in geriatrics and neuropsychology as well as physiotherapy and music therapy.
The memoreBox can thus reduce the effects of age-related diseases such as dementia and Parkinson’s, reduce the risk of falls and promote inclusion in retirement homes through joint activities.
The memoreBox is scientifically evaluated at the Charité Berlin, the University Hospital Hamburg and at the Humboldt University Berlin on behalf of BARMER.
The game modules
Diversity in movement
The game modules can be played both individually or in a group, and by members of all ages. The game modules integrate various therapeutic, preventive and rehabilitative elements, which have been developed from findings in geriatrics, neuropsychology, physiotherapy and music therapy.
Sunday trip
In the game module „Sunday trip“, you practice shifting your weight and remaining stable, all the while promoting your memory.
The game module „Bowling“ warms you up and trains your arm movement.
In the game module „Table tennis“, you train your reaction ability as well as your hand-eye coordination.
The game module „Postman“ trains the arms as well as cognitive abilities.
In the game module „Singing“, there are different songs to choose from, which can be sung alone or in a group.
The game module „Dancing“ trains motor skills and
mobility and can be played alone or in a group.
Would you like to receive detailed information about the memoreBox and how to obtain it?
Then get in touch with us. We look forward to hearing from you.
The Avatars
Friendly accompaniment through the game modules
The memore game modules are easy to use thanks to intuitive gesture control. The player is accompanied by our avatars Anna and Paul. They can be individually selected to act as the main player in the games.
First, we developed Paul, who, based on feedback from our test-players, has been dressed in a more modern fashion over the years. We are happy to incorporate special wishes into the programming.
Since 2018 Anna can also be selected. She pleasantly greets the players and guides them through the different modules. She also enjoys distributing mail and riding motorcycles, just as Paul does.
We used to call Community “Gemeinschaft” (German for community)
„Lovely! So seldom have I laughed like that.“
„When the memoreBox is turned on, the nursing home comes alive!“
„It feels like the old days at the bowling club!“
memore is currently in operation at the following locations:
memore is already played all over Germany and is used in many places as a therapeutic and preventive game console. The memoreBox is mainly used in (partially) inpatient care facilities. Our goal is for as many people as possible to keep physically and mentally fit, and to have fun while doing so.
Are you interested in memore?
Please contact us, we look forward to your inquiry.
Imprint Privacy Policy Frequently Asked Questions
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Erdogan says Turkey will increase military support to Libya if necessary
Tuvan Gumrukcu
ANKARA (Reuters) - Turkey will increase its military support to the internationally recognized government of Libya if necessary and will evaluate ground, air and marine options, President Tayyip Erdogan said on Sunday, after the two signed a military cooperation accord last month.
FILE PHOTO: Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan reacts during a Kuala Lumpur Summit roundtable session in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia December 19, 2019. Malaysia Department of Information/Handout via REUTERS/File Photo
Turkey backs Fayez al-Serraj’s Government of National Accord (GNA) in Libya, which has been torn by factional conflict since 2011, and has already sent military supplies to the GNA despite a United Nations arms embargo, according to a report by U.N. experts seen by Reuters last month.
Turkey has also said it could deploy troops to Libya if the GNA makes such a request. The GNA has been fighting a months-long offensive by Khalifa Haftar’s forces based in the east of the country. Haftar’s forces have received support from Russia, Egypt, Jordan and the United Arab Emirates.
Speaking in the northern province of Kocaeli, Erdogan said Turkey had recently provided “very serious” support to the GNA, adding Libya was a country Turkey would support “with its life”.
“They are supporting an illegal warlord, who is the pawn of certain nations, instead of the U.N.-recognized government,” Erdogan said, in an apparent reference to Haftar and the countries which support him.
“If necessary, we will increase the military aspect of our support to Libya, and evaluate all our options, from the ground, air and sea,” he said.
Speaking before Erdogan, Defence Minister Hulusi Akar said Turkey will stand by Libya’s government until peace, stability and security are established in the country.
MARITIME ACCORD
Last month, Turkey and the GNA signed an accord to boost military cooperation and a separate deal on maritime boundaries, which has enraged Greece. Ankara and Athens have been at odds over hydrocarbon resources off the coast of the divided island of Cyprus.
While Greece has said the accord violates international law, Turkey has rejected those accusations, saying it aims to protect its rights in the eastern Mediterranean. On Sunday, Erdogan said Turkey will “absolutely” not turn back from its agreements with Libya.
“Nobody should come to us with attempts to exclude us, trap us in our own shores or steal our economic interests,” Erdogan said. “We have no intention of starting conflicts with anyone for no reason, or robbing anyone of their rights,” he said.
“Those who oppose us have no sense of rights, law, justice, ethics or mercy,” Erdogan said, referring to Greece, Israel and Egypt, who have opposed the maritime accord.
In an interview with Greek daily To Vima on Sunday, Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu said the accord with Libya was in line with international law, adding Ankara may consider granting exploration licenses in areas determined by Turkey and Libya.
“It would be the exercise of our sovereign rights in our continental shelf in the region,” Cavusoglu said. “The exercise of our sovereign rights also and naturally includes our right to deploy research vessels in the area,” he was cited as saying.
In a first reaction from the United States on the agreement, a senior State Department official said the maritime accord was “unhelpful” and “provocative”.
Responding to those comments, Turkey’s Communications Director Fahrettin Altun said on Sunday the United States refused to understand Turkey’s legitimate security concerns.
“It is neither ‘provocative’ nor ‘unconstructive’ as some US officials are claiming,” Altun said on Twitter. “Those who dare criticize Turkey should take a look at years of provocative actions by Greece and other regional states. We will never accept a fait accompli over our maritime borders!” he added.
Reporting by Tuvan Gumrukcu; Editing by Catherine Evans and Alexandra Hudson
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Belarusian Opposition Averts Split, Stays In Election
September 21, 2008 11:51 GMT
Belarusian President Alyaksandr Lukashenka, 02Jul2008
MINSK (Reuters) -- Belarus's liberal and nationalist opposition has overcome divisions and agreed not to boycott parliamentary elections that the former Soviet republic hopes will improve its poor relations with the West.
President Alyaksandr Lukashenka, long accused by the West of human rights abuses, has staked his hopes on the September 28 vote to secure legitimacy from the United States and European Union. Both see the poll as a test of Belarus's democratic credentials.
A council of the disparate groups making up the opposition said it would proceed with the campaign despite calls by some activists for a boycott. Since the mid-1990s, no election in Belarus has been deemed free and fair in the West.
"We propose that our candidates carry on to the end while producing evidence of vote-rigging," veteran opposition figure Anatol Lyabedzka of the United Civic Party told the meeting.
"Naturally, if it turns out that the election is not legitimate, we will ask our followers to protest peacefully."
About 70 opposition candidates have been allowed on the ballot for 110 seats, far more than in previous elections. The opposition was shut out of parliament in the 2004 poll.
But activists complain that they have been denied access to commissions overseeing the count at polling stations. The Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), which is dispatching hundreds of observers, says a dull campaign has failed to give voters a clear idea of issues or candidates.
Lukashenka expressed impatience with the demands of Western countries, saying authorities had bent over backwards to stage an election that would win their approval.
"If even this time the election turns out to be undemocratic, we will cease all discussions with them," he said.
Western Recognition
The opposition has enjoyed backing in the West. But some activists say they have already felt a reduction of influence and funding with the prospect that this poll will be recognized by Western countries.
"Our worry is that a deal of some sort will be concluded behind our backs," said Vintsuk Vyachorka, a leader of the nationalist Popular Front. "There is a real chance that the West will recognize the election. Some Western politicians are tired of the situation here and want it resolved in some way."
Lukashenka remains barred from the United States and EU over allegations he rigged his reelection in 2006, a result that sparked protests that were broken up by police.
He has sought to improve ties with Washington and the EU after quarrelling with traditional ally Russia last year over energy prices. Belarusian courts last month released the last detainees deemed by the West to be political prisoners.
The president has said for months that he hopes opposition candidates win a few seats to blunt Western criticism. But he suggested his opponents, often divided and with very little support outside the capital, might not muster enough votes.
Syarhey Kalyakin, leader of an opposition Belarusian Party of Communists, said the opposition could win 20 to 30 districts in a fair poll.
"Opposition candidates will have to score real victories, preferably with big margins, in their constituencies," he said. "Just how many of these winners will actually get into parliament is a question to be put to the authorities."
Pushing Belarus Toward (Slight) Improvement
Belarus Tells West To Recognize Vote Or Forget Talks
Lukashenka Urges West To Recognize Belarusian Vote
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C64 16KB Cartridge Game Development Competition - Status Update #2
Well, things are getting pretty heated on the competition front now, with some exciting new entry announcements and impressive progress made on several projects. Rather than repeat the list from the previous update (which you can check out here), to keep things concise this time round I'll focus only on the games for which I've received updates.
Competition Entry #2: Phase Out
Developer: Ernst Neubeck & Simon Quernhorst
Ernst is still working hard on Phase Out, which now has some new in game visuals and over thirty levels designed by Simon Quernhorst. With Simon being somewhat of an expert at mini-game coding (with no less than five C64 games released to date, soon to be six), we're pretty excited about this puzzle game.
Competition Entry #3: Bellringer III
Developer: Geir Straume & Sean Connolly
Progress continues on Geir's project, with him adding the titular bell ringing section to the end of each level, breaking up the platforming and sword-fighting action with a logic puzzle to solve. It's a unique concept that seems to work really well.
"The screenshot is from the end of a level, where the player has to ring four bells in the correct order. This will lower two brick walls and extend a bridge, allowing the player to proceed."
Sean Connolly (Odie of Cosine) has kindly offered Geir his help in providing a soundtrack to the game, making Bellringer III one to look out for.
Competition Entry #6: ScrableRND 64
Developer: Martin Wendt & Weibo de Wit
Status: Withdrawn!
Sadly, despite making good progress it looks as though ScrambleRND 64 won't be finished in time for the deadline. Enthusi has been recently sidetracked by another couple of projects (including an Atari 2600 conversion of Assembloids) and so instead of releasing a rushed conversion of Weibo's Scramble game he decided it would be best to withdraw from this year's competition.
Competition Entry #7: Powerglove
Developer: Matthias Bock
I know it is totally wrong of me to have favourites at this early stage, but despite the preview being full of bugs and breaking the filesize limit, Powerglove is still looking to be one of (my personal) highlights of the competition and a game I really want to see completed. The game design has come on a long way since the last update, with the hero leaping and blasting his way through both flipscreen and scrolling rooms populated by super-cute robots, grabbing keys and backtracking through warp pipes. Classic stuff that's already a ton of fun to play.
"I think I have included the main aspects of the game so far. Currently, I am doing the level-design and fixing the bugs. Also, I have some music from Pierre Martin (Cyborgjeff), and the music was bigger than expected so the preview is bigger than 16KB. Will fix that. Somehow. Powerglove will be a very simple game, but it might be fun to play if I manage to create good levels. That's the hardest part for me."
Competition Entry #9: M**** H******
Developer: Paul Koller
Ok, so it looks like Paul has confirmed that he'll be able to make the 16KB limit after all, so other compo entrants beware! ;) The coder of the original game has also granted his blessing for an official C64 port, so M**** H****** will be coming out on cartridge sometime next year. The main elements are all complete (including a full-screen solid polygon plotter at 50Hz, roughly 52K of graphics and a 22 sprite multiplexer) and Mikkel Hastrup has almost finished the soundtrack, but of course the big question you'll no doubt be asking is WHAT IS IT? Well, you'll have to wait until RGCD's appearance at the GameCity festival later this month for the reveal.
Competition Entry #11: MonsterBuster
Developer: p1x3l.net
Oh yes! Anyone for Puzzle Bobble/Bust a Move on the C64? p1x3l.net are back with another goregous looking game, seemingly dropping the serious technical approach to the competition last year with a strategy of pure fun and beautiful pixels this time round. Without seeing a preview it's hard to say any more about the game at this stage, but ALeX and Retrofan have assured me that it will be complete on time with a view to shipping it out on cartridge immediately after the deadline. Could MonsterBuster be this year's C64 Christmas number one?
Competition Entry #12: Invert
Developer: Richard Bayliss
Status: Complete & Submitted!
Congratulations Richard! After a few months of solid work he has finally completed Invert, an arcade style re-imagining of the 1990 game Sensitive. As the title suggests, the player's goal is to invert the tiles back to their original state to clear each stage - which is easier said than done when fearsome monsters sat on the borders are throwing bombs at you! Luckily you have up to five shields at your disposal, but even so, you'll need to think quick and act fast to beat all 32 levels.
Competition Entry #14: Linus Vs Simon
Developer: Simon Quernhorst
Simon Quernhorst has been busy this year! As well as helping out Ernst Neubeck with Phase Out, he's also completed and submitted Linus Vs Simon, his own competition entry and a gift to his six year old son. Essentially a two-player computerised equivalent of that age-old paper based game 'squares', the execution is perfect and the presentation is really charming. The timer that forces you to make quick moves adds an element of pressure, and the animated title screen features one of the nicest sounding and melodic SID tracks I've heard in some time.
Competition Entry #15: Kobo64
Developer: Kajtár Zsolt
It's as if Kajtár read my personal C64 conversion wish list... One of my favourite PC indies of all time, Kobo Deluxe, has made it to the C64 in this official port! Another game that was entered near-complete and out of the blue, Kobo64 perfectly captures the frantic free-exploring shmup action of the original, despite running on 8-Bit hardware. Yet another game that I cannot wait to see finished!
Competition Entry #16: Magic Duel
Developer: Jörn Ruchmann
Another new entry by a new name in the C64 scene! Magic Duel is a two-player only combat game based in a world of magic and mayhem, where wizards duke it out in single screen arenas full of hazards and monsters. It may be old school in both design and presentation, but Magic Duel has it where it counts; the two player combat is a fun mix of strategy and arcade action. Jörn claims that the game is now 99% complete (with only minor tweaks and bug fixes left) and I'm really looking forward to seeing the final arrive in my inbox in the near future.
Competition Entry #17: Devil Ronin
Developer: Endurion
Anyone recall the 2008 faux-C64 indie game Devil Ronin? Well, RGCD's Endurion sure does, as his official C64 conversion proves! It's still a bit rough around the edges and awaiting music and effects, but the core game is complete and fully playable. The official blurb follows.
"The world of Devil Ronin is Japan in the Sengoku Era, a time of great civil war. The Demon Shogun, lord of the oni, has decided to capitalise on the conflict and dispatched his demon armies to conquer the nation. You play the role of Kuruhito, an oni who has turned against his demon master and who now fights on the side of humanity. Fight your way through the historic prefectures of Japan, battling both mythic monsters and the human armies that serve corrupt lords aligned with the Demon Shogun."
Endurion has been working on Devil Ronin (on and off) for years, so it'll be great to see this finally removed from his WIP folder (leaving him to focus on Hyperion no doubt).
Ok, well that is all for now. More news coming soon!
Topics: C64, competition, retro homebrew
Jose Zanni 10 October 2013 at 01:06
Hipe!!!!
RGCD at GameCity / Super Bread Box Release Date!
Bomberland Cartridge Available! (C64)
Bomberland (C64) (2013)
C64 16KB Cartridge Game Development Competition - ...
Developer Interview: Magnetic Realms
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Tokyo Energy & Systems Switches to Rimini Street for SAP Application Support
Leading power plant construction company in Japan utilizes extra funds to accelerate digital innovation
LAS VEGAS, May 16, 2019 — Rimini Street, Inc. (Nasdaq: RMNI), a global provider of enterprise software products and services, the leading third-party support provider for Oracle and SAP software products and a Salesforce partner, today announced that Tokyo Energy & Systems Inc., a leading construction company in Japan that installs and maintains equipment for power plants and substations, has switched to Rimini Street for support of its SAP application. By switching to Rimini Street, Tokyo Energy & Systems immediately realized savings of 50 percent in annual support fees, plus saved time, cost and resources previously used for their ERP operations, and has utilized these cost savings to improve their mail system, groupware and security system. Tokyo Energy & Systems is also planning to apply the savings toward the implementation of IoT devices that collect environmental data and maintenance needs from the company's electrical facilities.
ERP Cost Analysis Leads to Operational Efficiency
Tokyo Energy & Systems has deployed nearly 1,500 SAP licenses since 2014 for accounting, inventory control, payroll processing and work management. The initial purpose of the ERP implementation was to centrally manage codes that are used to run and maintain construction sites nationwide. The company planned to start operating its ERP system one year after implementation, however it took two years to get the system fully operational because of the time required for user training which in turn caused delays in customizing their SAP system.
Although the system has been operating steadily since that time, the cost of running the hardware had become a long-standing issue and they decided to begin migrating to an Infrastructure as a Service provider in 2018. Additionally, the company conducted a review of their SAP platform, and the high maintenance costs were identified as a priority to address. During this process of examining their support costs, third-party support was raised as an option and, as a result, Rimini Street was selected.
"We were able to centrally manage construction sites by implementing the SAP platform, however the delay in getting the system operational greatly exceeded our planned schedule and the enormous costs to operate the system became a problem," said Kotaro Matsuhashi, manager of ICT Promotion Department, Tokyo Energy & Systems. Switching to Rimini Street, and migrating to the cloud, has allowed us to save substantial budget that has been used for updating our IT environment for construction sites across the country as well as improving our internal operational efficiency."
Enhanced Support Model Accelerates Improvements for IT Environment
Tokyo Energy & Systems now receives an ultra-responsive, premium-level support for its current, stable SAP system for a minimum of 15 years from the time they transitioned to Rimini Street. The company was assigned a senior level Rimini Street Primary Support Engineer (PSE) — PSEs have an average 15 years' experience — and receives Rimini Street's industry-leading service level agreement (SLA) guaranteeing access to a team of local engineers 24/7/365 to address support issues and a 15-minute response time for Priority 1 critical cases.
"In the past, it took substantial time for the vendor to respond to our numerous IT service requests, which became a glaring problem," said Masato Douzono, chief of the ICT Promotion Group, Tokyo Energy & Systems. "Now we receive rapid and precise support from Rimini Street, and the time we spend on system issues has been significantly reduced. Our team is able to concentrate on improving and advancing our IT environment instead of having to constantly manage our support issues with the vendor."
Taking Back Control with a Business-Driven Roadmap
Tokyo Energy & Systems was able to successfully redirect their resources into updating and modernizing the organization's IT infrastructure while taking back control of their IT roadmap by choosing a business-driven roadmap powered by Rimini Street designed around their business objectives.
"We renamed the Information System Department to ICT Promotion Department in 2018 and modernized our IT infrastructure," said Yukihiro Kurihara, executive officer and general manager of the ICT Promotion Department, Tokyo Energy & Systems. "Leveraging Rimini Street services, our support costs were cut in half and we were able to free up internal resources which was a welcomed change. This allowed us the opportunity to take on new IT challenges, and work toward the actualization of our own business-driven IT roadmap versus following the roadmap of the vendor. Part of our future plans include extending our business to post-construction operation management of power facilities."
"Tokyo Energy & Systems realized that to remain competitive and agile, they needed to advance their IT infrastructure to stay at the forefront of digital innovation," said Yorio Wakisaka, general manager, Japan, Rimini Street. " By moving to Rimini Street, the organization was able to quickly transform their IT environment, which enabled the IT department to become more efficient, driving business growth and competitive advantage in a transforming energy market. The company regained control of their IT roadmap by freeing themselves from vender lock-in, and now they can maintain their current, stable SAP application while planning for the future on their terms."
Rimini Street, Inc. (Nasdaq: RMNI) is a global provider of enterprise software products and services, the leading third-party support provider for Oracle and SAP software products and a Salesforce partner. The Company has redefined enterprise software support services since 2005 with an innovative, award-winning program that enables licensees of IBM, Microsoft, Oracle, Salesforce, SAP and other enterprise software vendors to save up to 90 percent on total maintenance costs. Clients can remain on their current software release without any required upgrades for a minimum of 15 years. Over 1,850 global Fortune 500, midmarket, public sector and other organizations from a broad range of industries currently rely on Rimini Street as their trusted, third-party support provider. To learn more, please visit http://www.riministreet.com/, follow @riministreet on Twitter and find Rimini Street on Facebook and LinkedIn. (C-RMNI)
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You are here: Home /Features/Marketing & Sales/China’s Long History of Innovation Leadership
China’s Long History of Innovation Leadership
May 14, 2019 /43 views/0 Comments/in Marketing & Sales /by Steve Weedon
China only joined the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) in 1985. Some, when learning of this, are surprised and that’s because in the West can trace back the origins of patents at least 2,500 years ago to the City of Sybaris, originally part of Ancient Greece and now part of southern Italy.
The elders of the city granted protection rights to anyone who “invented” something of a luxury. Usually recipes for meals or refreshments. The inventor would get exclusivity for a year and therefore have a short-term monopoly to exploit, but the inventor had to lay open the exact process, ingredients and steps for all to see.
The question is why did it take China so long to join the WIPO? Was it that they were not inventors or was it more to do with the open culture and the way in which totalitarian rule decided how the civilization should be controlled?
Throughout history, the Chinese have been recognized as prolific inventors: gun powder, the compass, paper, print and so on. So, this is not the reason. The fact is that the through the ages the ruling dynasties didn’t believe that useful inventions should be monopolized for the financial benefit of a few when the masses could benefit from the new modern technology.
Cai Lun is said to have invented paper in China more about 1,914 years ago. He decided to use plant fibers in his process resulting in a thinner, whiter parchment that when dried and cut created a perfect substrate for painting, printing, drawing, writing, flying (kites) and a host of other uses. He took his invention to the emperor, who decreed that every village should be taught how to make it so that the greater population could benefit. No patent, no exclusive period for exploitation, just a decision to allow the people to benefit. Lai received perhaps the greatest reward of all in being known as the inventor of paper for eternity.
As with most inventions, there is no such thing as an original thought. Someone somewhere has had the same thought, taken past technologies and inventions and made them better, faster or cheaper. Lai was certainly aware of papyrus parchment used by the Egyptians 2,000 years before. He improved it, used what was local and made history. Today a sheet of paper goes a long way, has thousands of uses and costs about half a cent. You will find it in every corner of the world and it goes down as one of man’s most successful inventions. A bit like the wheel or fire.
Had paper been invented in modern times in the West, no doubt it would have been patented and exploited and far less successful. It is not a stretch to envision a paperless world many decades ago since the need to have a substrate to draw or write, upon is universal. Paper’s success as an intrinsic part of global life for almost 2,000 years prevents the newer patented technologies which are already here, from creating the paperless world. The entry cost is simply too high compared with half a cent, and of course, you need a source of power. No batteries needed to read a sheet of paper. By the way, did I mention you can use both sides, recycle it, screw it up and throw it in the wastepaper basket only to be able to retrieve it, flatten it out, and use it again? What an invention! We won’t see a paperless society any time soon.
China was a late starter to patents. The U.S. led the world in patent filings, double that of European countries for many, many decades. Now the table has turned. The Chinese file more patents than any other country. Three times as many as the U.S. who are now in second place. Now China wants to protect its own technologies as it morphs from a replicator of products invented elsewhere to a technology-driven economy leading the world into the future. The sleeping giant has awakened. In 1979, Deng Xiaoping declared an open policy for China. “To be rich is beautiful,” he declared. The West was quick to exploit the cheap labor and moved production from Taiwan and Hong Kong to lower-labor-cost Chinese factories. Chinese government-supported, state-owned enterprises, giving land and money for building factories filled with German-made machines.
Thousands upon thousands of companies began producing whatever the Western consumer needed. A typical worker would work six days a week at ten-hour shifts, sleep in dormitories holding up to 16 people to a room for about $160 a month in pay. Today it is a little different. Dorms give way to high-rise apartment blocks for workers, salaries have quintupled, the pedal bikes have given way to motor cars to a point where there are so many cars, it is quicker to use a pedal bike. Infrastructure investments over the years have built good highways, fast “bullet” trains up and down the country, the world’s longest bridge from Hong Kong to mainland China, and space landings on the dark side of the moon. The small towns have become new cities, the skyscrapers fill the horizon and the pace of change is phenomenal. What’s next?
China achieved in a decade what it took the British 150 years to accomplish in the industrial revolution in order to bring people out of abject poverty. It hasn’t happened by chance. Every step has been carefully planned and thought through. China has a 50-year plan, it has patience, it is determined and it sits on three trillion in U.S. dollars. It has invested much back into the US, prompting Warren Buffet to say, “Whether we like it or not, we all work for the Chinese.” The Chinese consumer market is now growing fast, they have plenty of money and there is nothing they won’t buy. They now have more millionaires than the U.S. and Prada, Channel, Dior, Louis Vuitton, Rolls Royce and Bentley are all selling more in China than any other marketplace. Chinese workers now get more paid time off than a typical US worker. GDP value in China is now nearly 20 percent of the world economy, and sets China on a course to be world’s biggest economy soon, taking the top spot from the U.S. When this happens, it will signal the first time that a “developing country” nudges a leading “developed country” to the sidelines. China will want its say on the world stage, the West will not be happy about it. The world is being all shook up, as Elvis used to sing.
I figured out a long time ago that you can’t compete with China, so run toward it and see what it can do for you.
The Chinese ideology of building “cluster” cities to dominate world markets in one government supported area is something not replicated in the West, but it has huge benefits and impact. Sock City, located in Datang, Zhejiang Province, dominates the world sock markets producing 19 billion pairs a year, Shenzhen dominates the world electronics’ markets and Zhuhai dominates the world’s cartridge consumable markets with more than 600 companies located in and around the city. Zhuhai is not going away. It is impacting the global marketplace. It produces a range of qualities, very poor, poor, not so bad, ok, pretty good, very good, outstanding and excellent. Some world class companies produce the best, patent-safe compatibles that fully comply with E.U. and U.S. regulations at prices far below a remanufactured cartridge price. These world-class companies will continue to grow while patent infringers will get sued and forced out and poor quality companies disappear as they lose customers.
China is a dominant force in our industry. There is the worst and the best there. There is as much fear for them doing business with the West as the West is fearful of doing business with them. But it is the place to do business if you want to survive and prosper in the year of the pig.
https://o1.rtcdn.net/uploads/2019/05/China-inventions-1.jpg 365 365 Steve Weedon https://o1.rtcdn.net/uploads/2019/01/RT-logo.png?x-oss-process=image/quality,q_50/resize,m_fill,w_300,h_292 Steve Weedon2019-05-14 15:07:092019-05-21 16:16:53China’s Long History of Innovation Leadership
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Yes. Industry bodies such as the Imaging Supplies Coalition (ISC) have signed a Memorandum of Understanding with Amazon to fight against counterfeits and infringing products.
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Doctor in (Endurance) Training: bonking, blood chemistry, and the sleep monster
From the never-too-late-to-write-about-it file, comes a neat little piece from the venerable British Medical Journal (BMJ). Written in 2004 by then medical student Akbar Lalani, the piece, titled Endurance (pdf), chronicles his training for the ultra Marathon Des Sables, the 2008 edition of which is going on right now and finishes April 2 (race site). With his detailed yet fairly digestible approach, Lalani discusses topics like sleep, bonking, glycogen storage, and blood biochemistry in a manner quite different, and in many ways more illuminating, than that of most marathon and ultra pieces. One notable quote: "Based on blood results alone, a marathon runner might be admitted to a coronary care unit as creatine kinase concentrations rocket to 10 times normal."
Posted by Hank Dart at 3:36 PM 1 comments
Labels: marathon, science, training, ultra
Ethiopians Sweep Victories at World Cross Country Championships
As expected Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele took the victory in today's 12k senior men's race at the World Cross Country Championships in Edinburgh, Scotland (IAAF site). What wasn't quite as expected: his victory capped off a perfect day of racing for the Ethiopians, who also took the senior women's race as well as the junior men's and women's races. Top ten for both senior races:
Senior Men (12k)
1 Kenenisa BEKELE (ETH) 34:38
2 Leonard Patrick KOMON (KEN) 34:41
3 Zersenay TADESE (ERI) 34:43
4 Joseph EBUYA (KEN) 34:47
5 Moses Ndiema MASAI (KEN) 35:02
6 Felix Kikwai KIBORE (QAT) 35:15
7 Gideon Lekumok NGATUNY (KEN) 35:16
8 Ahmad Hassan ABDULLAH (QAT) 35:18
9 Habtamu FIKADU (ETH) 35:19
10 Bernard Kiprop KIPYEGO (KEN) 35:24
Senior Women (8k)
1 Tirunesh DIBABA (ETH) 25:10
2 Mestawet TUFA (ETH) 25:15
3 Linet Chepkwemoi MASAI (KEN) 25:18
4 Doris Chepkwemoi CHANGEYWO (KEN) 25:34
5 Hilda KIBET (NED) 25:35
6 Gelete BURKA (ETH) 25:35
7 Priscah Jepleting CHERONO (KEN) 25:36
8 Margaret Wangari MURIUKI (KEN) 25:46
9 Meselech MELKAMU (ETH) 25:51
10 Grace Kwamboka MOMANYI (KEN) 25:54
Bekele Favorite for 2008 World Cross Country Championships
On the eve of the 2008 World Cross Country Championships in Edinburgh, Scotland, it looks like Kenenisa Bekele is the one to beat in the 12km men's test. Despite missing a connecting flight in London, which delayed his arrival to Edinburgh until this evening, he's still the odds on favorite given his string of championship titles from 2002-2006. With a near miss in 2007, the Ethiopian should be even more motivated for victory. Eurosport.com has a nice preview of Sunday's races (story), and the IAAF has a site chock full of details of the events, with links to press conferences and live updates (IAAF site).
Labels: track and field
The Runner's High Dissected
As we all know, a huge endurance effort can let loose a crush of emotions - happiness, euphoria, melancholy, sadness, and sometimes all of these at once, plus 10 others. Whether such responses actually constitute a "runner's high" is very much up to an individual runner's point of view. If you call it a runner's high then it's a runner's high. But, Gina Kolata in the New York Times today (story) tackles the issue in detail from both a visceral and empirical stance, interviewing runners and dissecting new scientific evidence on brain endorphin levels before and after running. From a scientific standpoint, it now seems pretty clear that boosts in brain endorphin activity is a main cause of the euphoria many runners feel after a hard test. Now, how about a study that tells us why we sometimes feel like weeping at the same time?
Posted by Hank Dart at 8:22 AM 0 comments
Kenyan Running Camps Not Just for Kenyans
Despite the post-election strife that ravaged most of Kenya recently (previous post), many international runners with Olympic hopes have been flocking to the Kenyan high plains to try and capture the magic of its fleet-feeted natives. The Kip Keino running camp in Eldoret has runners from Estonia, Guyana and Sri Lanka, and seems to be bringing out the best in them as reported today on Eurosport.com (story).
(photo by World Resources Institute Staff, under Creative Commons)
Labels: olympics, track and field, training
Bernard Lagat Sprinting for 1500 Meter Gold in Beijing.
Bernard Lagat frequently relives his close call with gold in the 1500 meters at the Athens Olympic Games in 2004. He came up second to Hicham El Guerrouj by a mere .12 seconds---so close he still sweats when he watches films of the race, good naturedly hoping that maybe this time it’ll come out in his favor. Lagat and his quest for 1500 meter gold this summer in Beijing is the topic of a great feature in today’s New York Times (story). Weaving details of his defeat in Athens with tales of his life in Kenya, his approach to training (less is more), and his reasons for becoming an American citizen, the feature is a moving portrait of Lagat with something for runners and non-runners alike.
Check out the You Tube post of the 2004 Athen's race, with Lagat in the red singlet of his native Kenya.
Labels: olympics, track and field
RJ Review: Asics Gel-DS Trainer 13
Long a Run Junkie favorite, the Gel-DS Trainer from Asics has spawned a 13th generation, which recently received a very favorable review in the March issue of Running Times (review). With a great mix of stability, cushioning, and lightness, the DS Trainers are a hard shoe to beat for big mileage runners with a need for speed (Asics' specs).
More shoe reviews on Run Junkie (shoe reviews).
Labels: marathon, review, shoes, training
IAAF Reports Only 10 Positive Doping Tests in All of 2007
The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) reports that of over 3,000 drug tests in track and field athletes, only 10 came out positive in all of 2007 (IAAF data; IHT story) . The small number shows general progress toward cleaner running competitions. While athletes will always be able to beat the system with undetectable drugs or "smart" timing with their doping, the absolute number of positive tests is so small it seems that balance may be beginning to shift toward a cleaner sport.
(Photo by Mel B. used under Creative Commons)
Labels: doping, track and field
Torres and Flanagan Take 8k Championship, Webb Hampered by Cream Cheese
Jorge Torres and Shalane Flanagan took the honors at the United States 8k Championships in Central Park yesterday (USATF release; NY Times story). Torres won the men's race in 22:41.2; Flanagan, the women's race in 25:40. Each took home $10,000 for the effort. Pre-race favorite, Alan Webb, had stomach problems leading up to the race, ascribed to some bad cream cheese at a news conference for the event. He was able to start the race, and lead through most of it, but faltered with about 2k to go and had to walk a few steps. He eventually came in 16th, 50 second back (23:32).
(Photo by jimbowen0306, under Creative Commons)
Beyond 26.2: Beginners' Guide to the Ultra-Marathon
See also: Run Junkie's Your First 50 Miler
The April issue of Runner's World has a nice collection of articles for runners looking to see what's on the other side of 26.2 miles. Meant for the newbie but an interesting read for others as well, the collection includes a 50 mile training plan (link), a primer on surviving your first ultra with minimal effort (link), and, of course, a number of stories of personal triumph. The articles seem a bit scattered online. For a nice soup -to-nuts read, you may want to grab the hard copy (on newsstands now!).
Labels: marathon, track and field, ultra
Gebrselassie Not Running 2008 Olympic Marathon
Haile Gebrselassie, citing concerns about the pollution, heat, and humidity of August in Beijing, says he won't be running in the upcoming Olympic marathon (NY Times story). The Ethiopian and current world record holder in the marathon (2:04:26, Berlin), will, however, still compete in the 10,000 meters, an event where he's twice won Olympic gold (Atlanta '96 & Sydney '00). A noted asthma sufferer, Gebrselassie seemed to conclude that it would be too much of a risk to run 26.2 miles in the frequently smog-choked city. While asthma medication is permitted under doping controls, too much use can still trigger positive controls and the career-breaking sanctions that go with it.
(Photo by kevindooley, under Creative Commons)
Labels: marathon, olympics, track and field
RJ Review: Ultimate Direction's Classic Water Bottle
It may seem silly to review a simple water bottle, but if you've ever spent four hours on the trail with leaky bottles, you know how much a good bottle actually matters. All it takes is an occasional drip to chill your hands or legs on a winter run, and in summer the drips can advance from simple annoyance to mental torture by mile 20 - turning your legs into a sticky, bug-catching mess all the while. At Run Junkie, we've tried a huge variety of bottles over the years - from the typical bike store offerings, to the typical running store offerings. And hands down, the best bottle we've tried to date is Ultimate Direction's Classic Bottle (site). What makes this bottle so great? Simple: It just doesn't leak. Year after year; dishwasher cycle after dishwasher cycle; it seals like an airlock. We know people who can baby other bottles to good performance with hand washing (read "Nathans" (site)), but the convenience of a bottle that stands up to the old Whirlpool is key. It's hard enough to find time to run, let alone hand wash water bottles. And while all of Ultimate Direction's bottles may work as well as the Classic, we just can't warm up to their bottles with the creepy rubber "kicker" valve. We much prefer the standard tops of the Classic. The relatively recent move to opaque sides was a bit strange. It makes it hard to keep track of how much Perpetuem you've downed. But that's a small nick in an otherwise great, if basic, bottle.
Labels: review, trail running, training, ultra, winter running
Braje, Beck Take Way Too Cool 50k 2008
The 2008 ultra-marathon season got off to a great start this weekend with the running of the Way Too Cool 50k in Cool, Ca (race site). Used by many runners as a first test in their summer race schedules, the men's race was won by Todd Braje in 3:32:12, the women's race by Sussanah Beck in a blazing 3:55:22 that eclipsed Ann Trason's course record of 3:59:32 set in 1993 (results).
Labels: race reports, trail running, ultra
Injury Keeps Radcliffe Out of London Marathon
Eurosport.com reports today that marathon world record holder, Paula Radcliffe, won't be toeing the line at the London Marathon on April 13 (story; race site) The reason? Her toe, actually, which she injured in training in February. She would have been vying for her fourth London Marathon title.
See previous post on Radcliffe's plans for Beijing 2008 (post)
Taking Things Too Far: Overtraining
If you've ever been there, you know it: the bone-crunching fatigue, the trouble sleeping, the lack of sex drive, the slow times. Yep, it's in the air: overtraining. And while many of us can wear its symptoms like a crown of motivation and dedication, overtraining really has no performance benefits, except for telling us it's time to cut back and get on track. Of course, this is tough for many of us, largely because optimal training can dance on the edge of overtraining, and it's hard to know when you cross over the line and your miles start to work against you rather than for you. In the periodic Play Magazine, put out by the New York Times, a great article talks about the ins and outs and biochemistry of overtraining (story). A key quote from the article by Bob Larsen, the co-coach of Team Running USA (link), seems to capture the training conundrum for most of us:
“You can avoid overtraining by undertraining, but then you don’t win medals.”
Labels: marathon, science, training
Paula Radcliffe: Athens behind, Beijing full steam ahead
The last summer Olympics was a tough patch in Paula Radcliffe's storied career as a standout runner. Beat by the Athens heat and humidity - reaction to which was possibly made worse by some anti-inflammatories - she dropped out of the marathon at mile 20. She had another go in the 10,000 meters a few days later, but that race didn't come together either. Now in 2008, on the heals of winning the New York City Marathon, she's keeping her Athens performances in perspective and using the experience to build toward Beijing this August. Read Eurosport.com's interview with Radcliffe about her Athens races and views on Beijing 2008 (story).
Postscript: (3-6-08) Injury keeps Radcliffe out of London Marathon (post)
(Photo by Alan Cordova, used under Creative Commons)
Doctor in (Endurance) Training: bonking, blood che...
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Bernard Lagat Sprinting for 1500 Meter Gold in Bei...
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Beyond 26.2: Beginners' Guide to the Ultra-Marath...
RJ Review: Ultimate Direction's Classic Water Bot...
Paula Radcliffe: Athens behind, Beijing full stea...
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Fenchurch Street, United Kingdom
United Kingdom/England/Greater London/London/Fenchurch Street Accommodation
Fenchurch Street Accommodation
Fenchurch Street in Greater London
Near Fenchurch Street
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DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel London Tower of Lo...
Fenchurch Street Hotel
Sleeps 1164
Situated a few minute’s walk from Tower Hill and Fenchurch Street station DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel London - Tower of Londonis set to be the hottest...
Grange City Hotel
Sleeps 614
Facilities and services include restaurant, bar, indoor swimming pool, elevator, wireless Internet access, gym, sauna, spa (extra charge), business...
Novotel London Tower Bridge
The Novotel is a modern superior 3-star hotel, ideally situated in the immediate vicinity of the Tower of London and Tower Bridge. Nearby Tower Hill tube...
The Chamberlain Hotel
Featured amenities include a business center, express check-out, and dry cleaning/laundry services. Event facilities at this hotel consist of conference...
Native Fenchurch Street
Make yourself at home in one of the 12 guestrooms, featuring kitchens with refrigerators and stovetops. Complimentary wireless Internet access keeps you...
Apex City of London
Leave the M25 at junction 30. Follow the A13 west this is Ripple Way then Newham Way East India Dock Road which leads into Commercial Road.Head towards...
Four Seasons Hotel London At Ten Trinity Squa...
Spa services three restaurants and free Wi-Fi await at the stylish non-smoking Four Seasons Hotel London at Ten Trinity Square located steps from the...
Accommodation near Fenchurch Street
Citizenm Tower Of London
Tower Gateway Hotel
0.26km from Fenchurch Street
citizenM Tower of London is located directly above Tower Hill Underground Station. Offering spectacular views on the river Thames Tower of London and...
Native Aldgate
Aldgate Hotel
Aparthotel nearby Aldgate and Tower Hill tube stations. Modern accommodation with free WIFI, fully equipped kitchen, microwave, washing machine and dryer...
Hotel Indigo London Tower Hill
Featured amenities include complimentary wired Internet access, a 24-hour business center, and express check-in. Planning an event in London? This hotel...
Motel One London tower Hill
The 3-star Motel One London - Tower Hill offers comfort and convenience whether you're on business or holiday in London. The hotel has everything you need...
Dorsett City London
Featured amenities include a business center, complimentary newspapers in the lobby, and dry cleaning/laundry services.
Devonshire Club & Hotel
Liverpool Street Hotel
A stay at Devonshire Club & Hotel places you in the heart of London, minutes from The Gherkin and close to Tower of London. This 5-star hotel is close to...
Great St Helen Hotel
Great St Helen Hotel offers accommodation in London.Every room at this hotel is air conditioned and features a flat-screen TV. All rooms have a private...
Travelodge London Central Tower Bridge
Make yourself at home in one of the 99 guestrooms.
Premier Inn London Bank
Monument Hotel
Conveniently located a 15-minute walk to St Paul’s Cathedral, Premier Inn London Bank (Tower) is also 3 minutes’ walk to Monument underground station....
The Bull And The Hide
The Bull and The Hide offers accommodation in Shoreditch. Guests can enjoy the on-site restaurant. The hotel is across the road from London Liverpool...
If you are looking for Fenchurch Street holiday accommodation , SafariNow has a selection of Hotel, holiday accommodation in Fenchurch Street and surrounds. With 7 listings in Fenchurch Street, our handy Fenchurch Street map search and great low prices, it's easy to book the perfect holiday accommodation for your Fenchurch Street visit.
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Sifting the soil of Greece. The early years of the British School at Athens (1886–1919) (BICS Supplement 111)
David W. J. Gill
‘...what we wanted was to connect ourselves directly with the heart of Hellenic culture so that its very lifeblood might flow through our veins, and this we should gain by the establishment of the school at Athens’
(J.B. Lightfoot, Bishop of Durham)
The British School at Athens opened in 1886 ‘to promote all researches and studies’ which could ‘advance the knowledge of Hellenic history, literature, and art from the earliest age to the present day’. Over the next 30 years the School initiated a major programme of excavations, initially on Cyprus, then at Megalopolis, on Melos, and at Sparta. School students took part in the work of the Cretan Exploration Fund and in the major regional surveys of the Asia Minor Exploration...
Exploring ancient sculpture – essays in honour of Geoffrey Waywell (BICS Supplement 104)
Edited by Fiona C. Macfarlane and Catherine Morgan
From Caria to English country houses and iconography to architectural reconstruction, over the past 40 years Geoffrey Waywell has transformed our understanding of Greek sculpture and opened the way for new generations of scholars.
In this volume, a celebration of his career on the occasion of his retirement, past and present students, friends and colleagues explore ideas, monuments and regions which reflect the great breadth of his research interests.
Essays range from iconographical studies of Myron's Discobolos, to the reconstruction of the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus, an exploration of the role of attribution, and a celebration of one of the works saved for the nation on Geoffrey Waywell's advice, the Jennings dog now in...
By the Sweat of Your Brow – Roman slavery in its socio-economic setting (BICS Supplement 109)
Edited by Ulrike Roth
By the Sweat of Your Brow brings together the contributions of seven scholars from the UK and the European continent on different aspects of the socio-economic setting of Roman slavery.
Individual chapters discuss the slave chapter of Diocletian’s Edict on Maximum Prices, the relationship between slave and free labour, the status of managerial slaves such as vilici and dispensatores, the use of legal sources for our understanding of the role of slavery in Roman society, the unchanging nature of slave prices from classical Athens and late antique Rome, the similarity in discourse and reality of the functions carried out by estate managers in ancient Rome and modern slave and serf societies, and, last, the...
Ancient History and the Antiquarian
Edited by Michael Crawford and C.R. Ligota
INTRODUCTION by M. H. CRAWFORD
T. J. CORNELL: Ancient History and the Antiquarian Revisited: Some Thoughts on Reading Momigliano's Classical Foundations ..... 1
ANTHONY GRAFTON: Tradition and Technique in Historical Chronology ..... 15
JEAN– LOUIS FERRARY: Naissance d'un aspect de la recherche antiquaire. Les premiers travaux sur les lois romaines: de l'Epistula ad Cornelium de Filelfo à l'Historia iuris ciuilis d'Aymar du Rivail ..... 33
A. C. DIONISOTTI: Claude De Seyssel ..... 73
C. R. LIGOTA: From Philology to History: Ancient Historiography between Humanism and Enlightenment ..... 105
CHRISTIANE KUNST:...
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Juvenile Court Services
At-Risk Youth
At Risk Youth is a legislated program designed to assist and enable parents to gain control of their children through court intervention.
Child in Need of Services
Child in Need of Services (CHINS) is similar to the At-Risk Program except that a CHINS is filed when there is a need to remove the child from the home while the court intervention and family assistance takes place.
Dependency court proceedings address the needs of children regarding abuse and/or neglect, abandonment, no parent/guardian or that are developmentally disabled. Juvenile Services and the court clerk process submitted petitions regarding these allegations.
Juveniles are court ordered into secured detention facilities. While in detention they attend school, meet with probation counselors and may attend drug/alcohol information classes.
Diversion is a legal process whereby first time offenders alleged to have committed certain misdemeanors are offered an alternative to the formal court process.
Emancipation Petitions
A legal process where 16 or 17 year olds may petition the court for legal status as an adult (emancipation). Contact Tom Kearny for more information at 360-378-4620.
Court appointed special advocates appointed to protect the best interest of a child or children involved in a court proceeding.
Juvenile Offender Court Services
All juvenile cases filed by the Prosecuting Attorney are processed in Superior Court Juvenile Division. Cases are heard in the courtroom located at the courthouse. JCS has responsibility for the supervision of court orders regarding juvenile offenders.
Local Court Rules (PDF)
Review the Local Court Rules for the Superior Court of San Juan County.
All juveniles who are diverted or found guilty of alcohol or drug offenses will have their privilege to drive revoked.
More serious juveniles offenders who are released from state institutions to their home communities under parole are supervised by state counselors.
Supervision of court order juvenile offenders. Terms typically include community service, fines, restitution and may include a limited number of detention days to be served during the period of supervision.
Special Offender Supervision / Dispositions
There are four special dispositional alternatives available to the Court in dealing with specific problems presented by a particular juvenile: Special Sex Offender Disposition Act (SSODA), Chemical Dependency Disposition Alternative (CDDA), Deferred Dispositions, and FFT Family Therapy are programs available for special offenders who are evaluated and deemed a low risk to the community and amenable to treatment/counseling.
Juveniles who do not attend school are referred to the court for attendance action. Juveniles can appear before a Truancy Board or the court and are ordered to school. If they fail to attend they can be ordered to serve time in detention where they will attend the school program.
Linnea Anderson
Juvenile Court Services Administrator
Friday Harbor, WA 98250
Lopez Island Office
2228 Fisherman Bay Rd.
Orcas Island Office
208 N Beach Road
Senior Services Building
Washington State Court Forms
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RIP Hot Doug's: A Love Letter
[Photograph: Huge Galdones]
That ripple you felt through the encased meat world last week? It's true. Hot Doug's, Chicago's and perhaps the country's most famous hot dog stand, plans to close on October 4. Though there are still a few months until the last batch of duck fat fries emerges from the oil, I feel like I should be absolutely devastated. But you know what I first thought when I heard Hot Doug's was closing? I wasn't surprised or disappointed; it just sounded like something Doug would do.
Instead of making some grand announcement, he announced the closing of his cherished spot by dropping this cryptic line on his website: "Oh by the way, permanent vacation begins Saturday, October 4." Genuine surprise would have been to find out Doug was secretly a vegetarian or that he was actually an actor owned by some evil multinational corporation. But Doug deciding to close the restaurant he founded simply because he wanted to? Well, that's just how he rolls.
This is basically a must read now. [Photograph: Nick Kindelsperger]
Honestly, he's been hinting at this for awhile now. In the introduction to Hot Doug's: The Book, Doug notes that he initially resisted writing a book because it would "legitimize the restaurant," and he preferred to think of it as "a pop-up restaurant, some sort of sham that people will finally realize is a hoax."
He's always acted nonchalant about his success, and it's true that Hot Doug's is just a hot dog stand. But he's also completely wrong, because while there are hundreds of other hot dog stands in Chicago, there is only one Hot Doug's.
What made Hot Doug's so special? Sure, he launched the whole creatively-topped hot dog craze, but it didn't take long for other restaurants to copy the format, source some alligator sausage, think of a loopy name, and open their doors. Yet, none of these places has even come close to matching the popularity of Hot Doug's.
The reason: Doug was always there. Though the shop could easily have pulled in customers until late at night, it was only open from 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., because Doug always took the orders. (I liked to think of Hot Doug's as having bankers' hours, though most banks actually open earlier in the day.) If he went on vacation, the restaurant closed its doors. This ensured a level of quality control completely unheard of for a hot dog stand. More importantly, he personified the restaurant in a way logos or mascots always try to, but never attain.
When I forced my parents to visit a hot dog stand with a 45-minute wait, I'm sure they thought I was insane. But I knew it would be worth it when we finally got to the counter to see Doug cracking jokes. My parents still talk about the encounter. And every other customer has had roughly the same experience. The line was sometimes longer or shorter, but the experience never wavered.
Doug also cared enough to do things right. It's easy for food writers like myself to bemoan restaurants for cutting corners and failing to put effort into each dish, but we tend to ignore the reality and economics of actually running a place. Doug knew what it would take to run a great hot dog stand, and then he actually did the work. This is actually a bigger deal than it sounds.
Foie Gras and Sauternes Duck Sausage with Truffle Aioli, Foie Gras Mousse and Fleur de Sel [Photograph: Blake Royer]
I should note that Doug did go to culinary school at Kendall College, which partially explains why even the most out-there sounding sausage on the menu still had a sense of balance missing from the imitators (one of the most popular offerings was a foie gras and Sauternes duck sausage with truffle aioli). A group of us tried every single item on the menu—25 items in total—and there wasn't a bum note in the whole thing, from the Chicago-style hot dog and bratwurst to the mini-bagel dogs and tater tots.
[Photograph: Blake Royer]
What I remember most from that crazy day wasn't necessarily the food. I had contacted Doug before our visit, just let him know that a big group of us were coming to order everything on the menu, and ask for his blessing. When ten of us showed up, he already had our order filled out and ready to fire. His crew had even lined several tables up, so we could all sit together. Our tale was even included in his book (it's on page 160).
Doug could have capitalized on all this good will and franchised. And could we really have blamed him for cashing in? Doesn't he deserve fame and fortune for coming up with such a genuinely great restaurant concept? But no, he decided to close up shop, while Hot Doug's is generally regarded as the best hot dog stand in the country.
As sad as it is to think of a world without Hot Doug's, it's honestly the line that I'm going to miss the most. Instead of making people angry and anxious, the line at Hot Doug's brought people together in a way few restaurants ever have. I can't tell you how many times I witnessed first timers wondering aloud if this was all worth it, only for regulars to assure them that it definitely was.
Previous Hot Doug's Coverage
We Eat Everything at Hot Doug's
Sausage City: My Five Favorite Sausages at Hot Doug's
Behind the Scenes at Hot Doug's
Scenes from Hot Doug's Book Signing
Hot Doug's in Chicago: Good Hot Dogs and Good Neighbors in Line
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-1.68℃London
Share Backlink
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June 30, 2018 No Responses
India has adequate ‘firepower’ to deal with rupee volatility: DEA secretary
India has adequate “firepower” of foreign exchange reserves to deal with the current volatility in the rupee, the country’s Economic Affairs Secretary told reporters. The volatility is being driven by global factors including the proposed US sanctions on Iran and...
RBI to hike rates again by year-end, August still in play: Poll
The Reserve Bank of India (RBI) is expected to raise interest rates again in the final three months of this year, according to a Reuters poll of economists, but over one-third of them predicted a hike as early as at...
Xi can make life difficult for US companies like Apple, Walmart after Trump’s threat
China doesn’t import enough from the US to be able to match Donald Trump’s tariff threats dollar for dollar. Instead, President Xi Jinping can have American companies doing business there squeezed in a multitude of other ways. With companies from...
Audi names Bram Schot interim CEO, puts jailed Stadler on leave
German automaker Audi has named sales chief Abraham ‘Bram’ Schot as interim CEO following the arrest of Rupert Stadler as part of a probe into emissions cheating. Audi, a division of Volkswagen, said in a statement Tuesday that it has...
60% of Visual Artist Businesses Make Less than Half the Average American Household Income
Creating a business as an artist may present a significant financial challenge, a recent study suggests. The study on the financial state of visual artists by The Creative Independent reveals 60% of artists responding to a survey were earning less than half....
Master digital marketing to grow a business and acquire users for $19
The Internet Business Advertising reported that U.S. advertisers spent a total of $88 billion on digital ads in 2017. To put that into perspective, advertisers spent an average of $270 trying to market to each person in the U.S last year. With...
Marketing Trends in 2020 That You Should Know
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Illegal gold chips away at Kerala Jewellers’ Business
Kolkata: Jewellers from Kerala, both small and large, are losing business worth 25-30 per cent on an average per annum as the illegal gold trade is chipping away at their business by playing the price arbitrage card...
January 11, 2020 No Responses
Reliance Home Finance could land at NCLT
MUMBAI: Debt investors of Reliance Home Finance (RHFL), a unit of Reliance CapitalNSE -4.74 %, are planning legal action that may include a request for initiating recovery proceedings in the National Company Law Tribun...
Investment will overshadow trade in Japan-U.S. talks
WASHINGTON – The Japan-U.S. Trade Agreement (JUSTA), the pinnacle for modern trade policy between the two allies, is now in force. While it’s not a comprehensive trade deal, the JUSTA will remove barriers for billio...
February 17, 2019 No Responses
Elevate Your Digital Influence with This Upcoming Event
Digital technology has given small businesses access to all the tools previously only reserved for large enterprises. But having access to these tools does’t guarantee you’ll be good at marketing your business or bra...
Copyright © 2020 Share Backlink. All rights reserved.
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BP’s Oil Disaster — Gross Negligence — Choosing Profits Over Safety
BY Steve Smith
The Deepwater Horizon Oil Disaster that continues to dump 20,000 to 40,000 barrels of oil everyday into the Gulf poses more questions than answers. We still do not know how it happened or whether BP will pay for its reported drive for profits over safety.
President Obama’s latest effort to insure BP’s financial liability has led him to press BP to set up a fund, of up to $20 billion, from which those harmed, might be reimbursed. This tactic emerged in the wake of fears that the Oil Pollution Act (OPA) of 1990 would cap BP’s liability at $75 million. If it can be shown that BP committed gross negligence or violated applicable safety standards, the cap, however, will be pierced.
A June 14th letter from the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Energy and Commerce to BP CEO Tony Hayward outlines some of BP’s gross negligence:
Using a well design that had few barriers to gas flow; BP had two options when installing the final section of steel tubing the day before the blowout. It could lower a string of “casing” from the top of the wellhead to the bottom of the well or hang a “liner” from the lower end and install a “tieback” on top of the liner. A BP plan prepared days before the blowout advised against the “casing” tactic, but BP chose to pursue that method because the liner-tieback option would cost $7-10 million more and delay drilling three days longer.
Failing to use an adequate number of centralizers to prevent channeling during the cement process; BP knew that the well could have a SEVERE gas flow problem, if BP used only six centralizers instead of 21. Centralizers are attachments that fit around the casing to keep it in the center of the borehole while it is being lowered. One BP official noted, in an e-mail on April 16, that the 10 hours it would take to install the extra centralizers was too much time.
Failing to run a cement bond log to determine the effectiveness of the cement job; BP’s mid-April plan predicted that the cement process would fail; however, BP did not take the time to run a cement bond log, a 9-12 hour procedure, which would have established whether the cement had bonded correctly with the casing. Nine to 12 hours, the $128,000 cost of the test, and remediation of any discovered problems were apparently too great of a sacrifice for BP to make. An independent expert hired by the Congressional Committee stated that not preforming the test when using a single casing method was “unheard of” and “horribly negligent.”
Failing to fully circulate possible gas-bearing drilling muds out of the well; this procedure would have permitted workers to test for influxes of gas, allowed a controlled release of gas pockets, and guaranteed removal of well cuttings. Though this process is recommended by the American Petroleum Institute, BP only partially circulated the mud, saving 12 hours.
Failing to install a casing hanger lockdown sleeve that would have stopped the seal from being blown out from below and secured the well.
All signs point to what many have believed; BP sacrificed safety, the environment, and the interests of the American people in an effort to turn a larger profit at a faster pace. The contents of the Committee’s letter to the BP CEO indicate that BP was grossly negligent and likely violated applicable safety standards. What is even more likely is that these actions only represent the “tip of the iceberg in this tragic story.
" Cannot say enough about Mr. Ward and his team. Joanna and Mr. Ward helped me through a very difficult time while being extremely professional and prompt. I would highly recommend. "
Posted by: Samantha Saundry
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Hikvision USA Inc.
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Amid Interesting Times, Hikvision’s Outlook Remains Upbeat In The USA
Despite any negativity you may hear, Hikvision is optimistic about their role in the U.S. market. “We demonstrate that we can be trusted, and that we should be trusted,” says Jeffrey He, Vice President, Hikvision, and President, Hikvision USA and Hikvision Canada. “We have sound products and technology. Our mission in the security industry is to protect, not to harm. Otherwise why would we be in this industry?” Hikvision is committed to investing in the North American m...
Our Top-10 Click-Worthy Articles in 2019 Highlighted Changing Industry Trends
The physical security industry is moving fast. Evolving risks, new technologies and business changes all converged and had a profound impact on the industry in 2019. Looking back at our top articles of the year – as measured by those that received the most “clicks” at our website – provides a decent summary of how the industry evolved this year. Timely and important issues in the security marketplace dominated our list of most-clicked-upon articles in 2019. In the world o...
ISC East 2019 Preview: Keynotes, Free Sessions And Workshops Among Conference Offerings
In addition to providing the Northeast’s largest security trade show, ISC East will include free conference sessions and keynote speeches right on the show floor and several paid workshops. The Nov. 20-21 event at New York’s Javits Center will also include vendor solution sessions from Axis Communications, Hikvision and NAPCO. Wide variety of paid workshops An advantage of the International Security Conference & Exposition in New York is that much of the programming is complime...
Hikvision USA Inc. case studies
Hikvision Provides IP Security Surveillance System For Battleship North Carolina In Wilmington
Hikvision USA Inc., a provider of artificial intelligence, machine learning, robotics and other emerging technologies, and the supplier of video surveillance products and solutions, provided a new, high-resolution IP security system installed by Hikvision integrator ADT/Protection 1, to upgrade security for the Battleship North Carolina, a national historic landmark in Wilmington, N.C. A stationary nine-level ship and museum, the Battleship North Carolina is a memorial honoring the 11,000 North...
Hikvision’s Off-Grid Video Surveillance System Secures Ontario Car Dealership
A security system provided by Hikvision USA Inc., global provider of artificial intelligence, machine learning, robotics and other emerging technologies, and supplier of video surveillance products and solutions, was installed by Hikvision integrator OGSP (Off Grid Surveillance Platforms) to secure a building during the remodeling process for Ajax Hyundai in Ontario, Canada. Hikvision Video Security Solution Ajax Hyundai in Ontario, part of the Drive Auto Group in Canada, had plans to renovat...
Hikvision Collaborates With TAS Electronics To Install Video Surveillance System For UPD’s Armored Truck
Hikvision USA Inc., a global provider of artificial intelligence, machine learning, robotics and other emerging technologies, along with video surveillance products and solutions, worked with Hikvision integrator TAS Electronics in New York to furnish a full-scale surveillance system for 'The Armadillo', a repurposed armored truck the Utica Police Department (UPD) uses to deter crime in the community. “When the decision was made to upgrade the Armadillo, the immediate concern was the came...
Hikvision USA Inc. white papers
The Healthy Market For Video Surveillance At Medical Facilities
Expanding Video Surveillance In The Enterprise Market
Video Surveillance: Lessons From The Education Market
Loss Prevention and Beyond: How Video Innovation Enriches Retailers
IP In A Box: The Advantages Of Embedded Network Video Recorders
Meeting The Cybersecurity Challenge Of IP Video Systems - SourceSecurity.com Technology Report
https://us.hikvision.com/en
Contact Hikvision USA Inc.
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Company profile & contact details of Hikvision USA Inc., one of 4,040 companies in our global security industry directory.
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Pass / Fail | So Cal education, LAUSD, the Cal States and the UCs
Oscars 2014: Hamilton High School students say performing 'Happy' 'was a dream'
Pass / Fail
KPCC's education team — Annie Gilbertson, Deepa Fernandes, Adolfo Guzman-Lopez and Mary Plummer — covers education. These stories are part of a developing, ongoing conversation that is continually updated. Email suggestions or tips to soshiro@kpcc.org.
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Pharrell Williams performs on stage during the live ABC Telecast of The 86th Oscars at the Dolby Theatre on March 2, 2014 in Hollywood, CA. Students from Hamilton High School – dressed in pastel colors – perform around him.
Photo by Aaron Poole/Courtesy A.M.P.A.S.
Mary Plummer | March 3, 2014
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Some of the youngest performers at Sunday's Academy Awards show headed back to school Monday, still basking in the glow from the biggest spotlight of their young lives – sharing the stage at the Dolby Theatre with Pharrell during the performance of his hit song "Happy." (View a video of the performance below.)
"It was a dream. It was awesome," said 15-year-old Alexa Baruch. "Leonardo DiCaprio was right in front of us."
Baruch was one of 19 students selected to perform with Pharrell from the dance and choir classes at the Academy of Music at Hamilton High School, a magnet program in the Los Angeles Unified School District. The students were part of the choir on stage and danced in the background during the performance.
RELATED: KPCC's full coverage of the 2014 Oscars
Several dozen students auditioned for Pharrell's team two weeks ago. The students who were selected went through a whirlwind of rehearsals with well-known choreographer Fatima Robinson in the days leading up to the performance. Robinson is known for her choreography in music videos with stars like Michael Jackson and Aaliyah. (The story continues below the video window.)
Details of the performance were kept under wraps until the show aired.
"We couldn't post on social media all week because it was a secret," said Noah Mayer, a junior at the school. "When we got the opportunity, it was Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. We lit it up to tell everyone."
Mayer said his time at the Oscars topped his list of the best experiences he's ever had.
"It was such a unique opportunity and these kids will forever have something really special to remember," said Kelci Hahn, the school's choral director. Hahn added that the opportunity also reminded her about the value of arts education and the power the arts have to shape children's lives. She said she wished all students had access to the arts and opportunities like this.
"People forget that the arts exist and we're often the first programs to be cut," Hahn said. "These kids are very lucky."
Arts education in Los Angeles unified has been drastically cut in recent years – the district launched a new arts education plan last summer and has proposed to pump nearly $16 million back into the arts by the 2016/2017 school year. The school relies heavily on donations to help fund its arts efforts, according to Marlene Zuccaro, director of the Academy of Music at Hamilton High School.
This was the fourth time the high school has partnered with Pharrell. The school began a relationship with the singer-songwriter in October, and students performed with him on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and at two other events.
"It was a very long process, but very worth it," said junior Preston Parker. "It was crazy incredible. It was a true blessing."
Parker added that getting back to school and refocusing on classwork was a challenge Monday morning. He said it was hard to refocus, especially when you're inspired to dream big.
"I think the next step is to actually win an Oscar," Parker said, bursting into laughter with his classmates who shared the stage with him at the Dolby. "I think that's the only way we can go now."
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Previously in Pass / Fail
Enjoy Pass / Fail? Try KPCC’s other blogs.
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Inside KPCC An inside perspective of the team that brings you 89.3 KPCC - Southern California Public Radio
KPCC's Education coverage is a Southern California resource provided by member-supported public radio. We can't do it without you.
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First Look: Kriss USA Defiance DMK22 Rifle
by SI Staff - Tuesday, October 24, 2017
Kriss USA announced that it is finally shipping its new Defiance DMK22 carbines out to dealers, providing consumers with an AR-15-style rifle chambered in the popular and inexpensive .22 LR. A number of models are offered by the company, including a special DMK22 LVOA edition licensed through War Sport Manufacturing.
The Kriss USA DMK22 rifle is constructed with a proprietary receiver made from aluminum alloy and are compatible with a number of standard AR-15 aftermarket parts, including mil-spec carbine stocks, pistol grips, dust covers, charging handles, forward assists, magazine releases and handguards.
The rifle is built with a 16.5-inch barrel made from 4140 chrome-moly steel, featuring a 1:16-inch rate of twist and a nitride coating that protects the barrel from corrosion and wear. The muzzle of the DMK22's barrel incorporates 1/2-28 TPI threading, making it compatible with a wide aftermarket of standard AR-15 muzzle devices.
The standard Kriss Defiance DMK22 rifles are equipped with a 13-inch free-float handguard that's machined from aluminum and provides users with a Picatinny top rail, along with modular attachment points at 3-, 6- and 9-o'clock positions on the rail. The special-edition War Sport Manufacturing DMK22 LVOA rifle is equipped with War Sport's LVOA handguard, providing users with its own unique modular setup.
One of the benefits of the Defiance DMK22 is the inclusion of a bolt catch that holds the bolt open on the company's empty Defiance .22 LR magazines. The catch locks the bolt to the rear, holding the action open after the magazine has been removed from the mag well. A number of .22-LR AR-15 magazines on the market will function reliably in the Defiance, though they will not hold open after the last round has been fired.
The Kriss Defiance DMK22 is equipped with a specially designed barrel adapter that allows owners to swap out the barrel with most aftermarket .22-LR barrels designed for use on the Ruger 10/22. In addition, a number of aftermarket drop-in triggers designed for use in standard AR-15 rifles will also work with the DMK22.
Each Kriss USA Defiance DMK22 ships with a pair of the company's low-profile flip-up sights. Models are available in black, flat dark earth, OD green and alpine finishes. The suggested retail price on the gun is $699.
kriss usa defiance dmk22 rifle ar-15 sporting 22 lr rimfire
First Look: McMillan Z-1 Stock
Remington 700 Upgrade: Why We Chose Grayboe
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APPEARS IN News Optics
First Look: Styrka S3 Red Dot Sight
by SI Staff - Saturday, May 27, 2017
Styrka announced the introduction of its new S3 Red Dot, which is designed for use in hunting, competitive shooting, personal-defense and plinking.
The S3 Red Dot features a double-lens optical system that is designed to eliminate parallax while providing increased clarity, ensuring that shooters can get their rounds on target, no matter the distance. The lenses feature indexed coatings that work with both red- and green-dot models, ensuring that point-of-aim errors are eliminated with the S3 line.
The red dot itself is constructed from 6061-T6 aircraft aluminum, ensuring its strength and durability and features a sealed waterproof housing that has been tested for submersion up to 1 meter for 30 minutes. The interior of the optic is nitrogen-purged in order to prevent fogging.
Styrka's S3 red dot features six different brightness settings that allow the user to adjust the red dot to match the brightness of the surrounding terrain. The sight features an auto shut-off feature that turns the red dot off after one hour of no movement, preserving battery life. When the optic is used again, the integrated last-setting return function brings up the last brightness setting used by the operator.
The Styrka S3 Red Dot is available in 3 different models. The two red-dot models are available in 2.5-MOA dot and 5-MOA dot configurations, depending on the end user's preference. The company also offers a 5-MOA green-dot model.
All S3 Red Dots come with a high-rise mount, as well as a honeycomb filter to reduce objective-lens glare. The optics also ship with a custom neoprene cover, as well as a cleaning cloth. The sights retail at a suggested price of $329.95.
styrka s3 red dot sight optic
New for 2020: Smith & Wesson Performance Center M&P M2.0 Pistols
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Home Education Society
Hindsight: What Can Teens Learn From Older Generations This Election?
by Shout Out UK
Can teens benefit from any wisdom gained by older people?
Since 2012, 65-84-year-olds have consistently been revealed as the ‘happiest’ generation when surveyed. But what can this be attributed to?
A Loving Tribute recently surveyed over 500 UK-based over 65s to discover the secrets to the happiest generation and what advice they would give to their teen self.
Upon reflection of their past, only 16.2 per cent had a negative view of their earlier years. Over 35 per cent simply wished for their teen self to look after their own mental health and adopt a more positive mental attitude. Common phrases used in these responses were ‘be true to yourself’, ‘believe in yourself’ and ‘enjoy life’.
Although these can be seen as the norm for ourselves today and, although it may be hard to follow on occasion, we are all aware of the importance of following this encouragement. This could be attributed to the lack of mental health awareness and support in the past and the taboos of struggling mental health. Teens and younger people today benefit from greater assistance within these areas, but would this be a continuing theme when today’s teens reach retirement?
Over 10 per cent showed their biggest regret as not focussing on their education. Nowadays, university and apprenticeships are widely open to students of all backgrounds. Previously, university was open to the elite and therefore a large proportion were unable to attend. On the flip-side, university fees were far cheaper than the £9000 a year students face today. The trend of regretting lack of eduction may continue for generations.
Worryingly, 2.8 per cent stated political advice as their answer. Although the figure may seem small, this shows over 3 per cent of over 65s saw their biggest life regret as their previously political believes.
Some responses were generic to the voting system, such as a simply stating they wished their teen-self had voted in a certain election. Others were more specific, such as ‘Vote Labour’ and ‘Don’t believe a Tory MP’.
This number is not too dissimilar to the gap between the Leave and Remain voters in the 2016 referendum. With this number of voters having changed their beliefs so drastically throughout their lifetime, it begs the questions; should older people be allowed the vote when it impacts younger generations more? Should teens be trusted with the vote? Labour’s manifesto contains lowering the voting age to 16 but could this have consequences with so many regretting their younger decisions?
Polls have shown 47 per cent of 16-34-year-olds believe pensioners shouldn’t have a say on issues such as Brexit and Scottish independence as they are not the ones who will be living with the consequences.
Subsequently, arguments for not allowing 16-17-year-olds to vote come down to ‘immaturity’ and assuming teens lack knowledge to make the ‘correct’ choice. However, teenagers nowadays appear to be more informed than ever. With interest access and social media, those wishing to vote are more enlightened than ever and certainly have more information at their disposal than retirees possessed in their youth.
Image by PublicDomainArchive from Pixabay
Tags: mental healthvotingYoung People
A man that gloats over the humiliating details of a person’s death mustn't get his hands on our NHS
Who's the greenest of them all this election?
Shout Out UK
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Online Platforms Transform Open Enrollment
Technology directs employees to benefits that are most likely to meet their needs
smiller@shrm.org
By Stephen Miller, CEBS September 6, 2018
This is the first in a series of articles on meeting fall 2018 open-enrollment challenges for 2019 benefits. The other two installments are Employees Seek Personalized Perks During Open Enrollment and For Open Enrollment, Communications Get Social.
Technology is continuing to transform the annual open-enrollment season, during which employees select workplace benefits for the coming year.
Consider this example: For the 2017 plan year, American Eagle Outfitters (AEO) increased the number of health plans offered at open enrollment. The company already offered two preferred provider organization (PPO) plans, which have low deductibles but high premiums, and a PPO-like, consumer-directed health plan (CDHP) with a health reimbursement arrangement (HRA). It added two low-premium, high-deductible health plans (HDHPs) with health savings accounts (HSAs).
If that overload of acronyms seems confusing, imagine how AEO's employees felt.
"We had a huge amount of education around that," said Tammy Fennessy, senior benefits manager at Pittsburgh-based AEO, which has 32,000 full- or part-time U.S. employees spread over more than 1,000 retail outlets, two distribution centers and three corporate offices.
In 2016, about 72 percent of AEO's workers were enrolled in PPO plans, "and we knew that our workforce really didn't belong there. With our store-based workers being predominantly Millennials, they're a very healthy group of people, even when benchmarked against other retailers," Fennessy said. "They were burning their money on premiums," and so was the company.
In reflecting on the fall 2016 open enrollment, Fennessy said, it was clear that the use of traditional communication methods hadn't moved workers out of the PPOs and over to the HDHPs, even when an online benefit-selection advisory tool that the company provided told them that, based on information they entered, an HDHP was the right plan for them. "Instead, the response tended to be, 'Yeah, I'm comfortable in the PPO. I think I'll just stay here,' " Fennessy said.
So last fall, AEO put in place an interactive enrollment platform from tech firm Benefitfocus. When they sign in, employees see an online hub called AEO2Go.
Behind the scenes, the platform analyzes employees' medical claims over the past year (shielded from the employer in keeping with federal HIPAA health-information confidentiality requirements). During the benefit-selection process, employees were shown, based on that data, how much they would have spent in 2016 under each of the health plans that AOE offered, "and that helped to give them a full picture of which plan made the most sense for them. Our population had that 'aha' moment," Fennessy said.
As a result, for AEO's employees who enrolled last fall for the current plan year:
HDHP/HSA plan enrollment rose to 36 percent from 7 percent.
PPO enrollment dropped to 42 percent from 72 percent.
CDHP/HRA enrollment stayed consistent at 21 percent.
"It was a huge shift for us," Fennessy said. "Showing employees their claims through the platform brought the message home that they were paying too much in premiums for the type of plan they truly needed to be in."
Consolidating the Benefits Experience
The AEO2GO hub is also accessible via a mobile app. The single sign-in platform lets employees "click on any vendor connections without having to put in another username and password for information on their medical, disability, life insurance, flexible spending account, and voluntary benefit options, as well as the 401(k) plan," Fennessy said. "They can go in and make whatever changes they need to make."
During the year, employees use the portal to make benefits adjustments such as changing HSA or 401(k) contributions, altering beneficiaries and enrolling in well-being programs.
"This year, in response to employee feedback, we're adding an additional vision plan that's more robust in covering eyewear and contacts," Fennessy said. "Anytime we have a new offering, we put it front and center on the portal and use videos"—which are scalable so employees can watch them on their phones—"to let them know what's new."
"With video, plan comparison tools and cost estimators integrated into the enrollment process, employees can better understand their benefits beyond the price of the premium," said Catie Grigsby, senior manager for content marketing at Benefitfocus.
[SHRM members-only how-to guide: How to Design an Employee Benefits Program]
Enrollment Tech Upswing
Most employers have increased their spending on benefits-related technology in the past five years, with about half expecting further increases in the next three years, a 2017 study of 2,000 benefits decision-makers by The Guardian Life Insurance Co. of America showed. "Benefits technology is reshaping how employers think about their benefits strategy," said Marc Costantini, executive vice president, commercial and government markets, at Guardian. "A multi-generational workforce along with mounting pressures on employers to contain costs, simplify their benefits, and stay compliant are prompting employers to make this a priority."
That view was echoed by other providers of benefits-administration software and technology.
"A growing number of employers are looking to consolidate multiple workplace benefit plans onto a single platform, streamlining administration and creating a more simplified experience for employees," said Kevin Barry, president of workplace investing at Fidelity Investments, a large administrator of retirement and other benefit plans.
"We see a broad trend of enrollment portals unifying the employee experience by showcasing a wide range of benefits, programs and perks that an employer offers," said Joe Levon, vice president of strategic partnerships at Jellyvision, a benefits communication tech firm. "Each year, enrollment portals are expected to serve as a gateway to a broader suite of benefits available to employees."
"In today's business environment, many employers are communicating with employees whose ages range five or more decades," noted Shelly McLean, a principal at benefits tech firm OneDigital. "The newest group of employees entering the workforce expect self-service, choice, [and] ease of access and to make personal buying decisions."
"Millennials want everything at their fingertips and taken care of in one place," said Zane Dalal, executive vice president at Benefit Programs Administration. "They want to access their benefits and services on the go—whether they are at work, home or traveling."
A sign of enrollment platforms upping their game is a just-announced move by tech benefits firm PlanSource to integrate Jellyvision's interactive benefits counselor, Alex, into its benefits platform "so that employees can go from learning about their benefit options (education) directly into choosing/purchasing (enrollment) their medical insurance and retirement savings plan," PlanSource wrote in its announcement.
"When companies can pair a communication and education tool alongside their benefits-election platform, there's a clear amplification and impact on the employee experience," Levon said.
Human Support Still Popular
Although enrollment platforms are becoming more user-friendly, there is still interest in contracting for one-on-one support services around enrollment, said Kim Buckey, vice president of client services at DirectPath, a provider of personalized benefits education, enrollment and health care transparency services.
Online products that help with the enrollment process can be a great starting point, Buckey said, "but everyone has their own particular nuance in their life that might color what benefits they chose and what plan might make the most sense for them, which is one reason we're seeing more interest in [providing access to] human interaction."
Given that, overwhelmingly, employees simply roll over to the same health and benefit plans year after year, "there's a level of communication required to impress on individuals that this isn't always the best thing to be doing," Buckey said.
Related SHRM Resources:
Open Enrollment Guide & Resources
Vendor Directory: Benefits Enrollment and Admin
Benefits Communication Communication Benefits Technology Open Enrollment
Earn your SHRM-CP or SHRM-SCP.
Apply by March 20 and save $75 on exam fees with early-bird pricing.
Virtual Finance for HR
Organization and Employee Development
An Open Enrollment 'Look Back' Captures What You've Learned
4 Lessons About Unlimited Vacation
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Somerset Coast
For a good old fashioned bucket-and-spade day out, a leisurely stroll with the dog, or just catching the sea air, the Somerset coast has some very diverse beaches – and some wonderful surprises; go and explore when you're on your large group holiday in this beautiful county. Burnham-on-Sea is a traditional resort that’s very popular with families; build sandcastles, have a donkey ride, hire some deck chairs, splash in the sea, and gaze out over the Bristol Channel from the pavilion on Britain’s shortest pier. There’s sand, shingle and rockpools at The Strand at Minehead – great for family fun and beach games. Take the dog for a run at Sand Bay, or on the seven mile expanse of flat sands at Brean, see the mud flats at low tide; explore the rockpools along the shoreline and hunt for fossils on the rocky beach at Kilve. Stroll through the pretty village of Bossington and enjoy the peace and quiet on the beach; if you’re feeling fit, take the steps down to the beach at St. Audries Bay and see the waterfalls cascading down the cliffs.
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Antidepressants, Advertising and writing on the wall
I do not know how long it is going to take to reveal the full extent of the 'official' mishandling of this whole antidepressant thing. The only thing that seems certain is that the regulatory and professional authorities are not suddenly going to come to their senses or see the light. The evidence seems overwhelming, in this case, that they are actively incapable of doing so.
Part of me believes that the end-game is nigh, but perhaps I am banking too much on the outcome of pending litigation and on the impact of a major TV programme, due soon. In the meantime, I shall proceed on the basis that the grand delusion will continue - probably until the industry comes up with new antidepressants, good enough to discredit the ones we use now.
Would these, by any chance, be those featured in The Lancet last week (11 March, 911-918) - "SNaRIs, NaSSAs and NaRIs: new agents for the treatment of depression? This unusually long report in the "New Drug Classes" section looked important - but it was nothing of the kind. The report was by Prof. Justine M Kent MD, a consultant to the manufacturers of nefazodone (Serzone/Dutonin, Bristol Myers Squibb).
Her report comes across as a grinding analysis intending to show up differences between the four "new" drugs, and between SSRIs and quasi-SSRIs. Remarkably, she managed not to mention withdrawal reactions in over one full page of text on "Adverse effects". Two of the four "new" treatments profiled in this article, were nefazodone and venlafaxine (Efexor/Effexor), both available in the UK since 1995. Mirtazepine and reboxetine came later - but none of them really offers much new hope for people with depression. For all the claims, their efficacy is comparable to all the rest.
And so to the question of dividing lines between honest science and product promotion - and thence to the impact of advertising on health. These questions are now very much in the air in Social Audit's continuing correspondence with the MCA, about standards of advertisements for SSRIs. (See below). And they seem all the more relevant when the threat is looming of global, wall-to-wall, direct-to-consumer advertising (DTCA) of prescription drugs.
Developments on DTCA One the key questions here is whether and to what extent this distinctively American phenomenon can usefully be transplanted into other countries - where regulatory capacity may be minimal and proper freedom of information laws unknown. Here I include the UK - our new "freedom of information" laws are truly a disgrace - though, obviously, we would better defended than many developing countries, with precious little health infrastructure and far more urgent health needs. The introduction of DTCA in poorer countries could a prove a real disaster. The last thing you need in a country struggling to provide essential (generic) drugs - and probably incapable even of enforcing prescription drug laws - is to stimulate demand for branded prescription products.
An interesting new review of the effects of DTC advertising has just been published by a team of academics in the USA (Wilkes et al, 2000). Along with many earlier studies, it reports that the educational quality of DTC adverts is "highly variable", describing also some of the "profound effects" that DTCA is having in the US - for better and for worse and, in many cases, simply unknown.
However, what is clear from the authors' list of "policy suggestions and future research needs", is how impossible many countries would find it to control this monster, lacking the kinds of control mechanisms available (at least in theory) in the USA. From a developing country perspective, if not in the European Union, some of these proposals amount to pure pie in the sky:
"To drug companies, we suggest that it is in the industry's long-term interest to communicate openly, honestly, and accurately with customers. Price comparisons, detailed explanations of benefits and risks, and discussions of cost are encouraged. We hope that the drug industry will realise that responsible self-regulation and self-policing are the best defences against unwanted government regulation …."
"The FDA (US Food & Drug Administration can increase the likelihood of effective self-regulation through strong, well-funded, and aggressive oversight. The FDA should also take the lead in providing accurate, unbiased information to consumers … Congress should ensure that the FDA has the resources it requires to effectively monitor and regulate DTC advertising…"
"The medical community needs to respond vigorously to DTC advertising. Individual physicians and medical associations should monitor the content of DTC advertisements for accuracy and balance. In addition, organised medicine needs to 'counter advertise' by suggesting the appropriate uses and limitations of medication. The public health community needs to create mechanisms for providing consumers with objective, independent information about available drug therapies, including their indications, risks, benefits and alternatives.
Meanwhile, what is the response in the UK and in Europe to the now intense pressure to permit direct-to-consumer advertising? Well, the most recent letter from the MCA suggests that little if any thought has been given to the possible impacts - while the European Commission (EC) has just set up a working group on information and advertising to start thinking about this issue. I think it highly likely that the Commission has already taken the view that DTCA should be allowed - but the group officially meets for the first time on 21 March.
Consumer interests are not at all well represented on this working group; nor is the meeting open to observers. Watch this space.
Advertising of SSRIs This brings us back to the question of how well professional advertising is now controlled - and to recent developments relating to advertisements for Efexor XL (venlafaxine, Wyeth) and Cipramil/Celexa (citalopram, Lundbeck) .
Last week's letter from the MCA was a response to our complaint about that advertisement for Efexor XL (venlafaxine, Wyeth). For the most part, the MCA's letter suggested that I should brush up my law - fair enough. But all they said beyond that was that they were "satisfied" the advertisement complied with the law, because their "intensive surveillance" and "monitoring" schemes had been in action. That was all; it took three months to say it.
The question of what this "intensive surveillance" of advertising really involves is one we have raised with the MCA (30 January to Mr Alder). We await a reply. Still, if the MCA's response on Efexor XL is anything to go by, the regulators are barely scratching the surface of enforcement. In this case, it looks as if they will have to go a lot deeper to avoid another referral to the Ombudsman.
Still outstanding is the MCA's response to our complaint about Cipramil - but in the meantime there's been a fascinating twist to that story, on the side. By chance, and quite independently, the manufacturers of Prozac (fluoxetine, Lilly) made a complaint about the same advertisement. So, contrast what happened, in what was almost a double-blind trial.
While Social Audit complained to the Medicines Control Agency; Eli Lilly took its complaint to the Prescriptions Medicines Code of Practice Authority. This body was set up in 1993 by the Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry, intended to operate "independently of the Association itself".
I do not know how independent the Code of Practice Authority (COPA) really is - and most of the complaints it handled last year involved one company complaining about another. Nevertheless, it reports its findings clearly and in some detail. At least COPA speaks its mind and defends its reasoning in public - something the Medicines Control Agency has never felt able to do.
So why was Eli Lilly complaining about the Cipramil ad? And should they or we feel the more embarrassed that the Social Audit complaint was more searching than theirs? Eli Lilly wasn't complaining about the claim that Cipramil was better than Prozac, or the scientific basis on which it was based. In fact, Lilly may have been prompted to complain in retaliation, because Lundbeck had complained about a Prozac advertisement, just a month before - a complaint that was later upheld.
Whatever the reason, the nub of the complaint was that Lundbeck had produced "knocking copy"; Eli Lilly felt that the CIPRAMIL advert had parodied one of theirs. Far from feeling embarrassed, I feel slightly proud to say that I'd never even noticed the features of the CIPRAMIL advert that that got so far up Lilly's nose. Here is the summary of the COPA report:
LILLY v LUNDBECK - Cipramil journal advertisement
"Lilly complained about a double spread journal advertisement for Cipramil (citalopram) issued by Lundbeck. The headline was 'Cipramil delivers' followed by text comparing Cipramil favourably with fluoxetine, Lilly's product Prozac. Lilly considered the advertisement to be knocking copy as it used the same wording as in Lilly's current campaign 'Prozac delivers' and similar imagery - a man with a bunch of flowers - to that of Lilly's - a man with red roses/red balloons/red wrapped parcels - seated in the background looking dejected. Lilly referred to an earlier case involving the use of parody (Case ALTTH/39812196). Lilly alleged that the text was also knocking, implying that citalopram delivered 'ahead of fluoxetine' and 'when fluoxetine doesn't'.
The Panel noted that in Case AUTH/398/2196 the Appeal Board had expressed some concerns about the use of parody in pharmaceutical advertising but had stated that each case would have to be judged on its merits. The Appeal Board had upheld the Panel's ruling of no breach of the Code in that case.
The Panel noted, in the case now before it, that the Cipramil advertisement was clearly based on the 'Prozac delivers' campaign. The advertisement featured the photograph of a man with a bouquet of cream flowers. In the background, sat on a bench and out of focus, was a dejected looking man holding a bunch of red roses and some red balloons with a red parcel at his side, these items had all been prominent in the Prozac campaign.
The Panel noted the claims 'Cipramil delivers ahead of fluoxetine' and 'Cipramil delivers when fluoxetine doesn't'. Adverse comments about competitor products were not in breach of the Code per se providing that such critical references were accurate, balanced, fair and could be substantiated. The Panel noted that there was no allegation that the claims were inaccurate, unbalanced, unfair or could not be substantiated. Lundbeck had produced evidence to support the claims. The Panel made no ruling in this regard.
Overall the Panel did not consider that the imagery and use of parody in the Cipramil advertisement in itself disparaged Prozac. No breach of the Code was ruled."
We shall see what the MCA has to say about the scientific basis of the Lundbeck claim. Meantime, what seems most significant is that Eli Lilly had no complaint about the science, assuming it to be "accurate, balanced and fair".
Or perhaps the point is that companies tend not to get at each others' scientific throats. They're all in this together, so why not passively collude in favour of softer science, when it allows them all to make bigger promises than they otherwise honestly might? What seems to matter most is that they don't step way out of line, or too hard on each other's toes.
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Turkmen Labor Activist Released from Prison after 3 Years
child labor, cotton harvest, forced labor, Gaspar Matalaev, Solidarity Center, Turkmenistan
Gaspar Matalaev, a labor and human rights activist who monitored and reported on the systematic use of forced adult labor and child labor in Turkmenistan’s cotton fields, was released today after serving three years in prison on spurious charges stemming from his reporting. Matalaev was arrested in October 2016, two days after Turkmen.news published his extensive… [READ MORE]
Child Labor Problem Urgent: Kyrgyz Workers
Carolyn Butler
child labor, ILO, Kyrgyzstan, Solidarity Center
A survey conducted this year by the Kyrgyzstan Federation of Trade Unions (KFTU), including unions representing mining and construction workers, found that laws against child labor in the country are inadequate and implementation is uneven, resulting in more than 250,000 children being subjected to hazardous work as recently as 2014—10 years after the country ratified the… [READ MORE]
Half of Child Laborers Worldwide Toil in Hazardous Work
child labor, Global March on Child Labor, Kailash Satyarthi, Solidarity Center
Of the 152 million children forced to work around the world, nearly half—73 million—are engaged in hazardous work, which includes dangerous, unsafe working conditions, and work that exposes children to physical, psychological or sexual abuse, according to the U.S. Department of Labor 2017 Findings of the Worst Forms of Child Labor report released yesterday. In… [READ MORE]
Fewer Workers Forced to Prepare Uzbek Cotton Fields
child labor, cotton harvest, forced labor, human rights, Solidarity Center, Uzbekistan
For the first time in years, large numbers of public-sector employees were not forced to carry out spring fieldwork in Uzbekistan’s cotton fields, although instances of child labor and forced labor were documented, according to a new report by the Uzbek-German Forum (UGF). Despite progress, “No Need for Forced Labor when Farmers are Empowered to… [READ MORE]
‘Kailash’ Film Marks World Day Against Child Labor
Shayna Greene
child labor, human rights, India, Kailash Satyarthi, Nobel Prize, Solidarity Center
“I have one single mission: Every child should be free to be a child.” Nobel Prize winner Kailash Satyarthi proclaimed this ambitious mission in the new documentary, Kailash, which depicts the fight to end child labor through the Global March Against Child Labor and Bachpan Bachao Andolan (BBA), the organizations Satyarthi founded. In 1994, 150… [READ MORE]
Ending Child Labor: 20 Years On, Change Is Working
child labor, human rights, ILO, Kailash Satyarthi, Solidarity Center
On a warm, dusty day on the Deccan plateau in April 1994, I joined Kailash Satyarthi’s Bharat Yatra, (Indian Journey), a group of 150 child labor activists part-way through its march from the southern tip of India to the heart of New Delhi, where it would arrive five months later. I didn’t realize it then,… [READ MORE]
Children Forced to Labor in Turkmenistan Cotton Fields
child labor, cotton harvest, forced labor, human rights, Solidarity Center, Turkmenistan
Truckloads of children were sent to pick cotton during the Turkmenistan fall harvest, according to a new report by the Alternative Turkmenistan News (ATN), an independent media and human rights organization. The children, along with tens of thousands of civil servants, including pregnant teachers, were forced to pick cotton for weeks in a government-led mass… [READ MORE]
Global March on Child Labor: Model for Action Worldwide
child labor, human rights, Kailash Satyarthi, Nobel Prize, Solidarity Center, unions
“Trade unions and NGOs must work together” to end child labor, asserted Nobel Prize winner Kailash Satyarthi as he summed up a two-day gathering of more than 40 child labor activist organizations from around the world in Seville, Spain. Participants at “Forum Spain-Americas: Civil Society for the Sustained Elimination of Child Labor” met last week… [READ MORE]
25 Million in Forced Labor Globally in 2016
Christopher Dunn
child labor, forced labor, human rights, ILO, Solidarity Center
Some 25 million people toiled in forced labor around the world in 2016, and 18 percent were children, according to two new reports by the International Labor Organization (ILO) and the Walk Free Foundation. “Global Estimates of Child Labor” and “Global Estimates of Modern Slavery” estimate that overall, 40.3 million people are victims of “modern… [READ MORE]
Kailash Satyarthi: Unions Essential to Ending Child Labor
Nathan Benevides
child labor, GoodWeave, human rights, India, Kailash Satyarthi, Nobel Prize, Solidarity Center
Kailash Satyarthi, a Solidarity Center ally, won the Nobel Prize in 2014 for his lifelong efforts to end child labor. He began this work much earlier, in 1986 in Jharkand province—one of India’s poorest regions at the time, a place where child labor was common across a variety of industries. Since then, Satyarthi has freed… [READ MORE]
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Brave The First Trailer Of Tales of the Heroes: Twin Brave
By Ishaan September 19, 2011
At Tokyo Game Show, Namco Bandai announced Tales of the Heroes: Twin Brave, a Dynasty Warriors-style game starring various characters from across the different Tales RPGs. Today, we have the game’s first trailer:
Tales of the Heroes: Twin Brave is a PSP game and is slated for release “soon”. Japanese reports on the TGS press conference where Namco Bandai revealed the game stated that it’s slated for 2012.
Tales of the Heroes: Twin Brave
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Mega Man 8, X4, X5, and The Misadventures of Tron Bonne Delistings Only Apply to Japan
By Jenni Lada December 5, 2019 0
A Look Back At The Heisei Era’s Console And Game Releases (Part FINAL)
By Alistair Wong May 3, 2019 0
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PlayStation 3Xbox 360
You Decide How The Story Goes In Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3
By Siliconera Staff September 10, 2012
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3’s story mode has a little choose your own adventure in it. The "Ultimate Decision" system lets players make pick a path in the middle of the story that changes what fights you see. A scan from jump shows two forks one with Shippuden Sasuke and another with Cursed Seal Sasuke from the Valley of the End.
Speaking of Sasuke, a screenshot from his story mode shows him fighting a group of enemies. It looks kind of like Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles or Dynasty Warriors-ish.
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 is slated for release in spring 2013.
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5 Things You Must...
5 Things You Must Do At Mardi Gras
New Orleans, Louisiana · About Local Events
New Orleans is home to one of the world's greatest parties.
Like other Carnival celebrations, Mardi Gras grew from the Christian practice of feasting and celebrating on 'Mardi Gras' – which means 'Fat' Tuesday - on Shrove Tuesday, just before the solemn fasting of the 40-day pre-Easter season of Lent.
The actual dates differ every year. Shrove Tuesday can happen during February or early March, and Carnival season begins immediately after the 12th day of Christmas, continuing up to the Eve of Ash Wednesday, when Lent begins.
Other places in the world celebrate pre-Lent, too; you've probably heard of famous Carnivals in Venice, the Caribbean, in Rio and elsewhere. But New Orleans' Mardi Gras has its own unique character. The city's French-Creole heritage and culture and cuisine, steamy Southern climate - and oh, that famous local jazz! - make Mardi Gras one-of-a-kind.
Thousands of people from North America and around the world flock to Mardi Gras. Here's how to celebrate in true N'awlins style:
Feast on Fat Tuesday Food
Fat Tuesday is the one day of the year when eating fried foods is a virtue. No dieting on Mardi Gras! Sink your teeth into some of the best Creole dishes New Orleans offers. To get that local flavor, order anything on the menu with crawfish – a classic crawfish boil, crawfish bisque, or the iconic crawfish etouffee, which means 'smothered', with the local crustacean coated in a rich creamy Louisiana-seasoned sauce served over rice.
Iconic Creole stews gumbo or jumbalaya are a must while you are in Louisiana. For feasting on the run, a local muffuletta sandwich is the best best on the menu: where the special ingredient, olive salad, binds cured meats and cheeses in sesame dinner rolls.
Indulge your sweet tooth with the local version of beignet – or as you might call it: a traditional-recipe donut.
A Mardi Gras special sweet treat is King Cakes, often a brioche/raisin bread type ring topped in official Mardi Gras colors of green, gold and purple, and with a hidden bean or even baby Jesus statue inside. Whoever gets the bean, becomes the next Mardi Gras 'king', or party host.
Have a Ball
Krewes are social clubs of New Orleans' residents that date back to the 19th century, established to organize the famous Carnival parades and masked balls. Most major krewes follow the same parades schedule and route annually. These days parades are too oversized to take place inside the famous French Quarter. But they still rouse up enthusiastic spectators and toss trinkets into the crowds, including 'doubloons' – replica coins often stamped with a krewe logo – and of course beads, the symbol of New Orleans Mardi Gras decadence.
Play Dress Up
There is no Mardi Gras without the costumes. This is not a time for subtlety. Sparkles and matching headgear and masks are the order of the day, especially in Mardi Gras' traditional colors of purple, gold and green. New Orleans Mardi Gras may lack the baroque elegance of Venice or the throbbing sensuality of bikinis and samba in Rio, but dress up you must. Mardi Gras costumes span everything from black tie at private balls, to mutant octopus costumes and Elvis impersonators, jokers and mythological figures in a surreal whirlwind of excitement.
And Dress Down
It's easy to blame the current younger generation and TV shows featuring bad behavior for the decadence of topless party-goers at Mardi Gras. But semi-nudity and even cross-dressing have a long history with the Carnival in New Orleans, at least back to the 19th century. Women flashing from balconies in the French Quarter have long been documented crowd stoppers. The beads-for-baring-them motif is all part of the unrestrained party ambiance of Mardi Gras.
Any time of the year, New Orleans is one of the greatest music capitals of the world, the birthplace and home of jazz. Mardi Gras takes music to another level in the city, and even more than usual to the streets, where jazz music and brass instruments are joined by the latest beats and rhythms. You won't be able to resist dancing in the streets, at parties, in hotel lobbies, at of course at any ball you are lucky enough to be invited to attend.
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ETFs Holding AGU » AGU Historical Stock Prices »
Home Free Dividend Report AGU Dividend History AGU Stock Split History Preferred Stock Newsletter AGU Options Chain AGU Message Board
Agriumis a retailer of agricultural products and services in the U.S., Canada, Australia, Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Uruguay and a producer and wholesale marketer of nutrients for agricultural and industrial markets. Co. reported its business through two business units, Retail, which operates in North and South America and Australia, providing crop inputs and services directly to farmers; and Wholesale, which operates in North and South America and Europe, and produces, markets and distributes all major crop nutrients for agricultural and industrial customers both domestically and around the world. According to our AGU split history records, AGU has had 1 split.
AGU (AGU) has 1 split in our AGU split history database. The split for AGU took place on January 08, 1996. This was a 3 for 1 split, meaning for each share of AGU owned pre-split, the shareholder now owned 3 shares. For example, a 1000 share position pre-split, became a 3000 share position following the split.
When a company such as AGU splits its shares, the market capitalization before and after the split takes place remains stable, meaning the shareholder now owns more shares but each are valued at a lower price per share. Often, however, a lower priced stock on a per-share basis can attract a wider range of buyers. If that increased demand causes the share price to appreciate, then the total market capitalization rises post-split. This does not always happen, however, often depending on the underlying fundamentals of the business.
Looking at the AGU split history from start to finish, an original position size of 1000 shares would have turned into 3000 today. Below, we examine the compound annual growth rate — CAGR for short — of an investment into AGU shares, starting with a $10,000 purchase of AGU, presented on a split-history-adjusted basis factoring in the complete AGU split history.
End price/share: $115.00
Ending shares: 197.78
Dividends reinvested/share: $17.33
Total return: 127.45%
Average Annual Total Return: 10.90%
Dividends collected/share: $17.33
AGU Split History Table
Date Ratio
01/08/1996 3 for 1
Materials Stock Splits
AGU is categorized under the Materials sector; below are some other companies in the same sector that also have a history of stock splits:
AGU Split History | www.SplitHistory.com | Copyright © 2013 - 2020, All Rights Reserved
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Talcum Powder Sold For Over a Century, Despite Dangers
By Meyerkord & Meyerkord, LLC
No one knows exactly how much Johnson and Johnson concealed of the dangers of talc powder use as feminine hygiene, but we do know jurors in St. Louis ordered the pharmaceutical giant to pay $72 million to a plaintiff who died of ovarian cancer. Why did Johnson and Johnson continue to market the talc product for feminine hygiene?
Talc is inexpensive and is among the softest minerals on earth. Talc can absorb odors and moisture. Talc is made of minerals such as magnesium, silicon, and oxygen and found in deposits above ground. Did you know that talc is also used in eye shadow, blush, and chewing gum? And it can be found in rubber, paint, ceramics, paper and plastic. While China is the largest source of talc, Johnson & Johnson’s primary source of talc comes from the southern province of Guangxi.
The New Brunswick, New Jersey company, Johnson & Johnson started selling Baby Powder over a century ago. Johnson & Johnson introduced Baby Powder in 1894 and was made of 99.8 percent talc and 0.2 percent mix of fragrant oils. The baby powder was sold in metal tins and marketed for toilet and nursery use. Many are familiar with the particular scent of baby powder. Since the early 1900s, Johnson & Johnson marketed the use of talc to women. The ads and taglines persuaded women to not only use the powder on babies, but to use the powder on themselves. Johnson & Johnson's talcum powder products sold nearly $374 million in 2014 and their signature baby powder has made their baby division worth near $2 billion.
The studies showing the risks of using talc on genitals was released in 1971 with many others to follow over the last 45 years. Over 1200 claims are still pending against Johnson & Johnson, accusing the company of failing to warn consumers and concealing information. If you have developed ovarian cancer and you have been a long time consumer of Johnson & Johnson’s talc products, please contact the product liability attorneys at Meyerkord and Meyerkord, LLC, and learn more about your legal options during a free consultation.
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World Briefs: Watchdog can now assign blame in chemical attacks
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Watchdog can now assign blame in chemical attacks
THE HAGUE • Member states of the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons voted by a wide margin yesterday to give the world's chemical weapons watchdog new powers to assign blame for attacks with banned toxic munitions.
In a special session, countries voted in favour of a British-led proposal to grant the new powers by a 82-24 margin.
The motion was opposed by Russia, Iran and Syria, whose civil war has been marked by repeated chemical attacks.
Democrat suffers shock loss in New York primary
NEW YORK • Representative Joseph Crowley of New York, once seen as a possible Democratic leader of the House, suffered a shocking primary defeat on Tuesday, the most significant loss for a Democratic incumbent in more than a decade and one that will reverberate across the party and the country.
He was defeated by a 28-year-old political newcomer, Ms Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who had declared it was time for generational, racial and ideological change.
Rare large wildfire rages in northern England
STALYBRIDGE (Britain) • Firefighters yesterday battled a rare large wildfire in northern England, which has sparked the evacuation of dozens of homes.
Police have declared the fire engulfing moorland east of Manchester a "major incident" and said the army was on standby to assist.
"We haven't seen an incident like this on the moors (near) Greater Manchester in as long as I can remember," said Mr Dave Keelan, director of emergency response for the city's fire service.
A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on June 28, 2018, with the headline 'World Briefs'. Print Edition | Subscribe
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Careers In Sales And Marketing
Chris Robertson
Sales people, by and large, have a lowly reputation. When people think of someone in sales, they think of sales clerks in department stores, used car sales, and other examples of low-level positions. This is unfortunate because, in fact, sales and marketing are the lifeblood of business. Without them, our economy would come to a grinding halt. Sales and marketing are a central, crucial part of business, and understanding sales and marketing is one of the most important areas of business studies.
We've all heard that if you build it they will come, and that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better mousetrap. Unfortunately, for the most part that is not true. If no one knows that you built it, no one will come, even if you have indeed built a better mousetrap. The world of business is full of examples where better products failed due to a lack of marketing and business strategy. Conversely, there are a lot of mediocre products that came to succeed and dominate due to good marketing.
Successful marketing, essentially, means for a company to have the right product at the right price at the right place, and making sure customers know about it. That sounds simple in theory, but it's not so simple in practice. Apart from a good working knowledge of marketing principles, it often boils down to where and how to apply a company's resources. If a company spends most of its money on product development and little on sales and marketing, it likely will fail. On the other hand, if most is spent on sales and marketing efforts and there aren't any good products to back up the claims, it will fail as well. What's needed is a proper balance. Often, businesses find themselves in a classic "Catch-22" situation where they need marketing to get sales, but they first need sales to pay for marketing.
When studying marketing, student and teacher alike can benefit from real life examples of successful marketing. This helps in identifying all the components involved, such as the proper product (one that works and has appeal), a proper price point (low enough for people to buy, but high enough to facilitate a profit), the proper time and place (the product must be where it is wanted by customers), and marketing to the proper target group (concentration on people who are likely to buy). It is also important to realize that good marketing applies not only to physical products such as breakfast cereal, but also many other things people are willing to pay for. Manchester United, for example, is a product that relies on the same principles of sales and marketing as any other product.
What it boils down to is that anyone, from students preparing for their GCSEs to people working for, or running, a business must know at least the basics of marketing. In more advanced business studies, this also includes market planning, research, strategies, techniques, models, segmentation, surveys, and pricing. It also requires a level of knowledge of product life cycles, customer service, leadership and communication. There are many business theory resources on the web that explain marketing principles, and many of them are free. Take advantage of them. Without sales and marketing, modern society as we know cannot exist.
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Gyromitra Mushroom Toxicity
Keahi Horowitz
B Horowitz
Gyromitra esculenta, the false morel, is a toxic mushroom. The mushroom derives its name (esculenta) from the Latin for edible. Certain cultures, as well as many mushroom guides and websites, consider this mushroom safe to eat provided that proper preparation techniques are used to reduce its toxicity. Unfortunately, several incidences of poisoning have been reported in foragers seeking and ingesting the Gyromitra esculenta. In general, most poisonings occur when foragers search for true morels, such as Morchella species, but instead find and consume Gyromitra.
The Gyromitra syndrome consists of a gastrointestinal prodrome occurring more than 5 hours after eating Gyromitra esculenta. Acute liver injury can occur over the next 2 days in a significant percentage of cases, and acute kidney injury may occur to a lesser degree. Confusion characterizes acute central nervous system (CNS) toxicity. In the most severe instances, refractory seizures are a feared, but rare, a consequence of the pharmacology of gyromitrin’s toxic metabolite, monomethylhydrazine (MMH). Monomethylhydrazine binds to and inhibits pyridoxal phosphokinase, thereby inhibiting activation of vitamin B6 (as pyridoxal 5-phosphate) from functioning as the key co-factor in the synthesis of GABA. The subsequent depletion of GABA leads to CNS excitation and seizures.[1][2][3]
Gyromitra esculenta contains the toxin gyromitrin. Other species, such as Gyromitra gigas and Gyromitra fastigiata may also have this toxin, but there have been no documented human poisonings from this species.[4]
Most poisonings occur in Eastern Europe, particularly in the conifer forests of Germany, Poland, and Finland. In North America, most exposures occur in Michigan, although a less toxic variety grows west of the Rockies and has been clustered in Idaho and Western Canada. Exposures occur mostly in the Spring, unlike other serious mushroom poisonings, such as Amanita phalloides, which occur more commonly in the fall.[5]
Over the centuries, poisonings due to consumption of gyromitra were recorded across those regions of Europe and the United States and, although the name changed over time, these cases allowed for the identification of the mushroom and identification of its toxin. In France in 1793, poisonings were attributed to the then-named Morchella pleopus. In 1885, an extract from the same mushroom was named “helvellic acid," the toxin we now know as gyromitrin, as isolated by List and Luft of Germany in 1968, who identified the chemical nature and structure of the toxin.
From 1953 to 1962, there were 138 documented poisonings with two fatalities in Poland.
Between 1994 to 2002, the Swedish poison center received 706 calls related to gyromitra mushrooms, with no fatalities.
In the United States, from 2001 to 2011, poison centers received 82,140 calls related to mushrooms. Of these, 448 calls involved gyromitrin mushrooms. Over 30 years, the North American Mycological Society (NAMA) reported on 27 cases. None were fatal but nine developed liver injury and three acute kidney injury.
In the stomach, gyromitrin is metabolized to monomethylhydrazine (MMH), which is the active metabolite responsible for inhibiting many enzymatic processes, particularly by the inhibition of vitamin B6 (pyridoxine), a key cofactor for many enzymatic processes. Gyromitrin directly binds to and inhibits pyridoxal phosphokinase, the enzyme responsible for transforming dietary vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) into active pyridoxal 5-phosphate. Without the cofactor pyridoxal 5-phosphate, the CNS-enzyme glutamic acid decarboxylase (GAD) cannot convert glutamate to the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). As GABA is depleted, activation of inhibitory postsynaptic Cl- channel decreases, resulting in a relative excitatory state in the brain, leading to delayed seizures.
This inhibition of vitamin B6 activation is a similar mechanism of action to the anti-tuberculosis medication INH (isonicotinic acid hydrazide).
Other central enzymatic processes for which pyridoxine is a co-factor are:
Formation of serotonin from tryptophan
Formation of dopamine from DOPA
While these may be inhibited, it is usually not clinically apparent.
Hydrazines, like MMH, may also form hydrazones and hydrazides that can cause further organ damage. Hydrazones induce lipid peroxidation in the liver causing cytotoxic effects and resulting in acute liver injury. Hydrazones may also be oxidizing agents capable of inducing methemoglobinemia. Although the potential for methemoglobin formation in humans is often mentioned as a possible toxic effect of gyromitrin mushroom consumption, only a single case report in a dog exists for this.
Other reported effects of gyromitrin are detailed in studies on rats. Gyromitrin in rats acts as a mild diuretic, with properties of natriuresis and kaliuresis, which may contribute to volume and electrolyte loss in humans. In addition, rats fed gyromitrin for long periods of time develop cancers of the liver, gallbladder, and lung. No definitive human cancer risk has been determined. [6][7]
Toxicokinetics
Gyromitrin has the chemical formula C4H8N2O, and its chemical name is N’-ethylidene-N-methylformohydrazide.
The boiling point of gyromitrin is 143 C (289 F). However, monomethylhydrazine (MMH) boils at a lower temperature of 87.5 C (190 F)
Some websites and mushroom handbooks describe the technique of parboiling then drying, to detoxify the mushroom and render them edible. Patocka [2012] estimates that 99% of the gyromitrin can be removed by either drying or boiling the mushroom before eating it.
Michelot [1991] gives the values of an LD in humans (based on animal experiments) as 25 mg/kg to 50 mg/kg for adults and 10 mg/kg to 30 mg/kg for children. This roughly correlates to between 0.4 kg to 1.0 kg of fresh uncooked mushroom for an adult and 0.2 kg to 0.6 kg fresh mushroom for a child. These are unlikely amounts of mushroom to be ingested at one time.
Cooking hydrolyzes some gyromitrin, but after being ingested, gyromitrin is hydrolyzed rapidly in the stomach to N-methyl-N-formyl hydrazine (MFH), then converted in the liver by cytochrome P-450 oxidation into N-methylhydrazine (MMH). Of interest, this final chemical is also a component in rocket fuel, such as in the propellant mixture Aerozine-50 made by the Aerojet Company, which was used in Titan rockets.
Eleven other hydrazones, in lesser quantities, have been isolated from these mushrooms and may contribute to liver cytotoxicity.
History should ascertain when the mushrooms were eaten, as the time from ingestion to symptom onset can suggest clinical severity. As with other mushroom poisonings, the classic 6-hour rule usually applies. Specifically, the onset of nausea and vomiting within 6 hours of ingestion suggests that the likelihood of systemic toxicity is low. However, if vomiting begins after 6 hours, the risk is higher, and these patients often require intravenous (IV) fluid resuscitation and evaluation for signs of hepatic or renal injury.
Specifically concerning gyromitra, the onset of signs and symptoms of toxicity usually occur 5 to 12 hours after ingestion, adhering to the 6-hour rule. The most common presenting complaints are abdominal pain and nausea. Other historical features should focus on which mushrooms were being sought, the season of the year, and the amount consumed. Gyromitra mushrooms emerge in the Spring in temperate climate forest areas, often near pines and aspen trees. Some knowledgeable foragers may even know or recognize Gyromitra esculenta and have intentionally sought and consumed it. The number of mushrooms eaten is also significant as the severity of the patient’s toxicity is proportionally related to the quantity of the toxin ingested.
The physical exam should focus signs of dehydration and the neurologic exam. Physical exam findings are often non-specific but may include dry mucous membranes, decreased bowel sounds, generalized abdominal tenderness, and confusion. Patients may also experience vomiting and watery diarrhea. Jaundice is a late finding, typically in more severe cases after the 3 days post-ingestion. Large ingestions may exhibit signs of central nervous system involvement, including nervousness, vertigo, ataxia, delirium, seizures, and altered mentation. Death, although extremely rare, has been reported as early as 3 days post-ingestion. Toxicity may often go unrecognized due to the vague presenting complaints and requires a high index of suspicion to make the appropriate inquiries about mushroom ingestion to establish the diagnosis.
The diagnosis of the gyromitra syndrome relies on associating the patient’s liver, renal, or CNS findings with a history of ingestion of the gyromitra mushrooms. Common lab findings in patients with gyromitrin toxicity include elevated transaminases, lactate dehydrogenase, and total bilirubin within 1 to 2 days of ingestion. Liver transaminases (particularly AST) usually peak around 4 to 5 days post-ingestion. Elevated BUN and creatinine may also occur, reflecting acute kidney injury (AKI) secondary to vomiting and volume depletion. While CNS signs may vary from confusion to seizures, there are no findings on imaging modalities such as CT or MRI. However, should the patient experience status epilepticus, neuro-imaging would be warranted after the seizure is controlled.
Treatment should be initiated as early as possible, especially if there is a concern of progression to seizures. Initial treatment entails primarily supportive care with close attention to fluid and electrolyte balance. Liver function tests, blood urea nitrogen, and serum creatinine should be monitored daily. [8]
Specific treatment for any CNS symptoms is the replacement of the vitamin B6 depleted by MMH. Pyridoxine at 25 mg/kg IV can be given either to control or to prevent seizures. Benzodiazepines are also suggested if a patient is seizing despite administration of pyridoxine. Other first-line anticonvulsants such as phenytoin are usually ineffective. Most patients recover uneventfully within 6 days with good supportive care and pyridoxine.
Pearls and Other Issues
Various laboratory techniques like gas chromatography-mass spectrometry and thin-layer chromatography have been used to identify MMH. However, these tests are not generally available outside research laboratories and have neither clinical utility nor correlation with overall toxicity.
Gyromitra poisoning is best managed by an interprofessional team that includes neurology nurses. The key is to start treatment immediately with close attention to liver function, electrolyte balance, fluid status and neurological status.
Patient education is key. The primary care provider and pharmacist should educate the patient on the potential toxicity of wild mushrooms.
(Move Mouse on Image to Enlarge)
Contribute by the Missouri Dept. of Conservation (Public Domain)
[1] Zaraf'iants GN, [Forensic medical diagnostics of intoxication with certain poisonous mushrooms in the case of the lethal outcome in a hospital]. Sudebno-meditsinskaia ekspertiza. 2016 Jan-Feb; [PubMed PMID: 27030094]
[2] Saviuc P,Harry P,Pulce C,Garnier R,Cochet A, Can morels (Morchella sp.) induce a toxic neurological syndrome? Clinical toxicology (Philadelphia, Pa.). 2010 May; [PubMed PMID: 20507248]
[3] [Mushroom poisonings that we don't think about: Gyromitra poisoning]. Orvosi hetilap. 2007 Nov 4; [PubMed PMID: 17959555]
[4] Leathem AM,Dorran TJ, Poisoning due to raw Gyromitra esculenta (false morels) west of the Rockies. CJEM. 2007 Mar; [PubMed PMID: 17391587]
[5] Michelot D,Toth B, Poisoning by Gyromitra esculenta--a review. Journal of applied toxicology : JAT. 1991 Aug; [PubMed PMID: 1939997]
[6] Toth B,Gannett P, Gyromitra esculenta mushroom: a comparative assessment of its carcinogenic potency. In vivo (Athens, Greece). 1994 Nov-Dec; [PubMed PMID: 7772753]
[7] Toth B,Gannett P, Carcinogenesis study in mice by 3-methylbutanal methylformylhydrazone of Gyromitra esculenta. In vivo (Athens, Greece). 1990 Sep-Oct; [PubMed PMID: 2133101]
[8] Michelot D, [Poisoning by Geromitra esculenta]. Journal de toxicologie clinique et experimentale. 1989 Mar-Apr; [PubMed PMID: 2681713]
Take 5 Question Quiz on Gyromitra Mushroom Toxicity
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Search Case Studies
We've spoken to the people behind seven different community-based projects to help you think about applying for investment to help develop – and ultimately deliver – a project that has local support.
From the highs and lows, to what they might do differently, the stories reveal how like-minded groups and organisations achieved their overall goal, and turned an initial idea into a developed plan, a finalised application and then to reality.
AcroNova Gymnasium From a modern, energy-efficient and accessible building, AcroNova are growing an ambitious club.
Campus Pool Skate Park A truly original and sustainable adaption of a facility, and one which is serving its community.
ELFDA This collaboration of three local football leagues has created a new approach to protecting and maintaining football pitches.
Furness Vale Field They've not only built a field that their football team can finally use, they've made a green space for all the community to enjoy.
Kiveton Community Sports Park This former coal pit has transformed into a Trust providing sporting activities helping to improve the lives of local residents.
Manvers case study This small canoe club has transitioned into a thriving multi-sports facility used by the local and wider community.
Waterfront sports and education academy Waterfront has grown from a group of friends training together to hundreds of members coming through their doors.
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David Beaty fired at Kansas, will finish season
Written By Drew Nantais
(Getty Images) https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/sporting_news/85/ea/david-beaty-110318-getty-ftr_1nt8xrypl7b9r1q9lvke1h9ccy.jpg?t=-609536098&w=500&quality=80
David Beaty is officially out at Kansas, or at least he will be.
Kansas announced on Sunday it will not retain Beaty at the end of the season, a decision made after the Jayhawks' 27-3 loss against Iowa State on Saturday. Beaty repeatedly blamed himself for the blowout in his postgame news conference.
MORE: Week 10 college football highlights
Said Beaty after the announcement:
A statement from David Beaty: pic.twitter.com/jT0NwDq9rq
— Kansas Jayhawks (@KUAthletics) November 4, 2018
Kansas City radio host Soren Petro on Saturday initially reported on Saturday that Kansas planned to move on from Beaty, news that was corroborated by Kansas City TV station WDAF-TV.
The Jayhawks are 3-6 under Beaty this season, their most wins in a season since 2014. Beaty, who is in his fourth season in Lawrence, is 6-39 in 45 games and will become the fourth football coach fired from the university since 2009.
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Home Abuja Metro
Abuja crime flashpoints: Daredevil robbers operate at entrance of Aso Rock
in Abuja Metro
•Victims, others recount ordeals
By ROMANUS UGWU
A sports journalist with News World magazine in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Ikenna Okonkwo, had left the headquarters of the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) in Zone 7 in the night for home, after a busy day.
He was later to realise, albeit too late, that his choice of Area 1 bus stop instead of Berger roundabout, to board a vehicle to Nyanya, a suburb of the city centre, was a costly mistake.
Welcome to Abuja crime flashpoints. In an apparent bid to avoid reckless drivers on the major expressway, Mr. Okonkwo had decided to cross the road through the pedestrian bridge at the popular Finance Junction. The decision almost cost him his life because few steps into ascending the staircase, he was accosted by four armed men. They whisked him to a nearby bush, bound his legs and hands, collected his personal belongings, including handsets, laptop, ATM card and held him hostage for over three hours until they emptied his account, withdrawing over N100,000 that night!
He speaks: “Four steps climbing the pedestrian bridge, four men armed with guns and other dangerous weapons had accosted me, ordered me to follow them to a bush path beside the bridge. They tied my hands and legs, collected all my personal belongings, including my ATM card; demanded for the pin code and kept me for over three hours under gunpoint, I guess, to enable one of them who had left us there, to make withdrawal at the nearest bank.
“The experience was hellish and traumatic that I do not wish such for my enemy. While in their custody, they ensured that I did not move an inch, I prayed fervently that they let me go alive. They told me that they were surprised I did not know people do not pass there at those hours.
“At a point, when I felt they had left, I started struggling to free myself from the ropes. I succeeded and from nowhere, I saw a taxi driver who helped me out of the place few minutes after 11pm. I reported the incident to the Divisional Police Officer, Wuse Division, who told me that they were aware that the place is dangerous and that the police raid it constantly.”
Bag snatched from a car
Okonwo was not the only victim of such harrowing experience at emerging crime spots in Abuja. Walter Ukaegbu, another journalist, was also attacked, surprisingly, close to Aso Rock, at the traffic junction in front of the Court of Appeal.
Like his professional colleague, Ukaegbu was heading home, to Jukwai, another suburb of the city after attending an assignment at Transcorp Hilton. Ironically, his greatest mistake was that he obeyed the traffic rule. He realised too late that he did not wind up the side glass of the passengers’ side of his car and before he could blink his eyes, somebody had snatched his bag containing huge amount of cash, his working tools, including laptop, midget recorder and other personal affects.
“It happened shortly before the traffic light indicated green. I saw someone dip his hand into my car and pick my bag with the speed of lightening and he ran across into the nearby bush adjacent the Appeal Court. I was shell-shocked because I never believed it could happen there, right at the entrance of Aso Rock, which houses the Presidential Villa!
“Momentarily, I was confused on what to do; whether to alight from my car and chase him into the bush. At that point, characteristic of Abuja drivers, the vehicles behind me started horning in apparent protest against my failure to move on. I wondered if they were oblivious of what had happened to me.
“I decided to make a u-turn, but it was already late since the thief had disappeared into the bush. Confused, I narrated the incident to the taxi drivers nearby, who confirmed to me that it was a regular occurrence. They told me that they had seen many abandoned handbags inside the bush.
“Wondering how such crime could be perpetrated few poles to Aso Rock’s first security checkpoint without the authorities doing anything it, I was left with no option than to go home and leak my wounds”, Ukaegbu stated.
FCT fast becoming citadel of crime
Checks by Abuja Metro revealed that crime and criminality have become endemic in some parts of the mega city. Indeed, the rate of crime was become alarming.
The crime situation has been attributed to population explosion since Abuja assumed the status of the nation’s capital. The residents have, on daily basis, continued to experience terrifying ordeals in the hands of criminals. From pilfering at various bus stations and bus stops, criminalities have assumed a threatening dimension with such crimes as snatching of handbags/handsets, ‘one chance’ and car snatching/thefts to ATM fraud and many more.
Checks revealed that some areas found to be more prone to attacks, according to police security report, have been designated as Abuja crime flashpoints which must be avoided, especially during the early hours and in the night. They include the traffic junction in front of the Court of Appeal, Zone 7, opposite Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) and NAFDAC offices; the pedestrian flyover at Finance Junction bus stop, the loading spots at Berger roundabout, Area One and Stadium under bridges as well as Bolingo junction.
Zone 7 car snatching, vandalism
The zone 7axis of Abuja houses the FRSC, the national headquarters of NAFDAC, the NFF and the National Population Commission (NPC) as well as relaxation gardens and hotels is always a beehive of activities, especially during business hours.
Faced with grossly inadequate parking spaces within the premises of most office complexes, visitors and staff use available spaces along the road, especially in front and beside the FRSC, as parking lots.
Consequently, they leave their cars at the mercy of car theft syndicates that operate unrestrained in the area. Car theft and vandalism remain regular occurrences and not a few hapless visitors and workers have fallen victims.
Investigations by Abuja Metro revealed that by strange coincidence, among worse hit were journalists. They include Rasheed Abdulkareem of Radio Nigeria, Hyacinth Umeh of Silverbird, Lekan Olasaide, Blue Print Sports Editor and Dennis Mernyi of The Sun newspapers.
Narrating his ordeal, Abdulkareem said he still feels the loss of his car in 2011 as if it happened just yesterday. He lamented that he did not only buy the Honda Civic car with a loan from his employer’s corporative society, but had used the car for only seven months before the theft.
“I own up that the theft, should I say, was out of carelessness of not using my pedal lock. But, even if I had pedal lock, I would perhaps, not have used it because I just came to pick a friend and colleague at the Glass House, to return to Gwagwalada, and did not intend to spend more than few minutes.
“I did not actually spend up to 15 minutes inside there before coming out to notice that my car was gone. My cousin and I looked at each other in confusion. We searched for the car, even inside the gutter.
It was more surprising that a police post and FRSC personnel, who were about 50 metres away, could not secure cars parked before their noses.
“I was directed to report to the nearby police station in Zone 3 which I did immediately, but from that 2011 till today, police have not recovered my car. It was very difficult for me to absorb because I did not even use that car for up to one year. I bought the car in August but it was stolen in March, barely eight months.
“It was very painful because I took a loan from my office co-operative society to buy that car for N600,000 in Benin Republic. Ironically, that car was stolen the same month I finished paying the loan. I would have been angrier if I had not finished paying the loan because you can imagine the trauma of paying for a car you are not using”, he stated.
Desperate move to recover stolen car
Silverbird television employee, Hyacinth Umeh, admitted losing his car because he failed to use a pedal lock. He had intended to spend few minutes inside the Glass House.
But for divine intervention, he almost lost another N600,000 to fraudsters, who feigned to be the thieves, in his desperation to recover his car. He recalled that the Investigating Police Officer (IPO) in charge of his case encouraged him to give them the money even though he did not know how they got his number in the first place.
“On April 24, 2013, I had left my office at about 1.30pm and got to Zone 7 at 2pm or thereabout. I parked my car opposite Road Safety among so many other cars. Unfortunately, I hurried into the Glass House without using my pedal lock because I did not intend to spend up to five minutes, and they struck.
“After spending more than an hour, as I rushed out to head to the stadium to cover a football match, I was shocked to see that my car was no longer where I parked it. I was initially confused about where I actually parked it because the two cars I parked in between were still there, but mine was gone. I was surprised because I could not imagine that they could come for my car, leaving the better ones around.
“I immediately made a formal report at Zone 3 police station. They promised to send signals in addition to other efforts, but for years now, the car has not been recovered. Surprisingly, shortly after leaving the police station that day, somebody called me to inform me that he was in possession of my car, urging me to pay N600,000 if I want them to return it. How he got my number was still a mystery to me but I suspected it was from the police station where I complained.
“The caller later came down to N400,000, N150,000 and finally, agreed to take N100,000, but I told him to prove his claim by telling me one of the personal effects inside my car, even if it was a complimentary card or the number plate. I played along with him, but my greatest surprise was that police did not act on my complaint, even when I furnished them with the man’s number. The IPO rather, encouraged me to play along and possibly give him the money.
“I was disappointed with his behaviour and level of professionalism because I did not see any reason the police could not track the suspect down with his number, which I made available”, Umeh said.
Other bad spots
Other trouble-spots in the FCT include Bolingo Hotel junction where hoodlums snatch items from unsuspecting passersby, jump down the bridge and disappear into nearby bush and under bridge near the stadium. The bad boys, who are known to be on 24-hour ‘duty’, also operate under the bridge at Area 1, where they sometimes, disguise as mad men.
Commuters are also advised to be wary of robbers known as ‘one chance’, who operate in commercial vehicles, some of them with only their front number plates, on the road.
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Get on your bike - or theirs! Swindon cyclists make new bike-sharing site
Swindon cyclists make new bike-sharing site Byyker
By Daniel Angelini Adver_Daniel Reporter
A PAIR of entrepreneurs are encouraging cyclists to get on their bike - or someone else's.
Will Seward and Eric Stewart founded a bike-sharing website that is being trialled exclusively in the Swindon area.
Byyker lets people hire their bikes to others for a small fee which varies depending on whether the two-wheelers are being borrowed for a half day, day or week.
Will, 50, from Wroughton, said: "We tried to think about what we enjoy doing as a hobby and linking it to work.
"Bike sharing is something we've done in our spare time but it can be tricky to organise - with this, it only takes a few minutes.
"We started work on this months ago but it took a lot of time to get all the bugs fixed and to make the system as simple as possible."
After officially launching last month, they hope Byyker will prove to be popular enough for a nationwide or even international rollout.
Will added: "The aim was to give people more freedom when they travel.
"They don't have to deal with the hassle and expense of taking bulky bikes with them on day trips or long holidays, they can just turn up somewhere and easily find a bike to hire wherever they go.
"It also lets cyclists earn a little extra money every month by letting other people use their bikes while they're at work."
"The website looks fantastic and we've had a lot of views, so it's early days but so far so good. We just need to keep improving the concept.
"I've tried setting up businesses before but they were done at the wrong time and the wrong place. I'm hopeful that this one will hit the sweet spot."
Eric said: "Bikes are really fun. They allowed us to discover the world around us. We would think nothing of leaving the house at 9am and coming back at dusk, tired and hungry but happy.
"We only really remembered this when we got back on our bikes in our early 30s, and what a great feeling it was.
"Over the next 20 years, we have enjoyed many hours on two wheels. We want to reinvigorate this sense of freedom that cycling can bring. There are many amazing things to see and experience out there."
Visit byyker.com
Police still at Penhill house attended by army bomb squad last night
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Confidence is no issue for Wiltshire ahead of three-day Devon task: Morton
Confidence is no issue for Wiltshire ahead of three-day Devon task, says coach Tom Morton
By Jonathan Leighfield @JonnyLeighfield Sports reporter
Wiltshire player-coach Tom Morton
WILTSHIRE head coach Tom Morton revealed confidence is high throughout the team ahead of their MCCA Championship XI fixture against Devon this weekend.
Morton’s side travel down to Sandford Cricket Club as one of three undefeated teams in the Unicorns Championship Western Division and sit second behind a Berkshire team who have won both of their opening three-day matches.
Wiltshire have opened up their Championship season with a draw away at Cheshire before comprehensively defeating Cornwall by an innings and 74 runs last time out.
As a result, Morton says confidence levels are high throughout the camp ahead of this week’s difficult away assignment.
“We’re feeling like we’re playing pretty well at the moment,” said Morton.
“Devon are having a bit of an indifferent season, but going away to the west country counties is always difficult, so although we’re feeling confident and playing well, I’m sure it’s going to be a tough game.”
Through to the Unicorns Trophy semi-final and off to an encouraging start in the longer format, coach Morton says the squad are very much benefitting from the positive approach of captain Ed Young.
Akin to that of England’s World Cup winning sides, Wiltshire have been encouraged to play with freedom, and Morton believes it will continue to produce results for his team.
He said: “We’ll go down there with the same mindset that we’ve had throughout the last few games.
“Ed, the captain, is very keen on the lads playing positively and playing with an element of freedom, and everyone is enjoying that approach at the minute.
“If we keep going in the way we have been so far this season then I think we’ll put up a good fight.
“We played well against Cornwall last week when we won and we played well against Cheshire the time before that when it was rained off, so if we meet those levels once again, we’ll be in for a good game.”
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Credit: Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images
Talking favorite Pokemon, sequel hopes on Detective Pikachu's yellow carpet
@briansilliman
Tag: Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Tag: Red Carpet
Tag: Chris Geere
Tag: Pokemon
There was Pika-fever in New York City tonight, as a ceremonial yellow carpet was laid out in advance of the U.S. premiere of Pokemon Detective Pikachu. Pretty much everyone there was, ahem, as they say — trying to catch 'em all.
SYFY WIRE was there, and we caught up with two of the stars of the new film — the first Pokemon story to be told in live action. Chris Geere is mostly known to American audiences from the FX series You're the Worst as well as Modern Family, but in the world of Detective Pikachu he plays the villainous media mogul Roger Clifford.
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Though the actor didn’t have a preference when it came to a Starter Pokemon, he did make it known that he's overall partial to the dragon-like Charizard. As he said, "I think Charizard is a big favorite of mine, I get to have a very cool scene with Charizard in the movie. I think with Game of Thrones and everything, a fire-breathing dragon is always fun.”
Did any of the Pokemon creep him out? “Yeah, quite a lot of them, actually," he said, adding, "Mr. Mime, certainly...but he’s super funny as well so you can’t dislike him.”
The legendary Bill Nighy plays Geere's father in the film, and Geere, unsurpisingly, let it be known that Nighy is a great guy. Geere's Clifford is a villain, though, so was letting his character's villainous side out a little bit fun for him? “Always fun. I’d read the scripts, and I was like yeah, that’s gonna be fun," he said.
Can we expect more genre work from Geere? Possibly, yes. As he said, “I think it’s quite interesting to do something different from what you did before, so going from You’re the Worst to Modern Family to this has been interesting.” Is there any genre property in particular that he has his eye on? There is, as a matter of fact.
“I’d like to be in Doctor Who one day. I can put that out in the universe, he said. "This is just me chucking that out there, maybe one day I can be the 14th Doctor, something like that. We shall see.”
His declined to speak with us. (Credit: Brian Silliman)
Omar Chaparro plays Sebastian in the film, and this is his biggest film in the US to date. Like Geere, he is also partial to Charizard.
“Sebastian is the Charizard trainer, so I couldn’t pick another one. I’m loyal," he said. None of the characters creeped him out (like Mr. Mime), but he did mention the weirdness of being surrounded by puppeteers dressed in green screen suits. That turned out to help rather than hinder in the end — "It helped me a lot because the puppeteers that did his big head did a wonderful job.”
Chaparro is also quite adept in martial arts, which is a skill he gets to show off in the movie. “Rob [Letterman] the director, he let me do my own stunts. He knew that I’m a black belt in karate and he was very open and excited, so I was very fortunate. I loved doing that.”
Will Chaparro stay involved in the Pokemon universe? From what he said, it sounds like he could be. “We hope to have the sequel. I feel like it’s gonna be a massive success," he said. “I don’t know about my character, but if Charizard is going to be in the sequel, then it needs to be Sebastian training him."
Pokemon Detective Pikachu opens on May 9.
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Thought police, surveillance, and indoctrination in China's Xinjiang
Police forces are on a mission to instill fear and loyalty among Xinjiang's 10 million Uighurs
By NINIEK KARMINI, Associated Press
The sign reads "Love the Party, Love the Country" The sign reads "Love the Party, Love the Country" (AP photo)
KORLA, China (AP) — Nobody knows what happened to the Uighur student after he returned to China from Egypt and was taken away by police. Not his neighbors, not his classmates, not his mother.
"Is he dead or alive?" the mother said, tears streaming down her face when Associated Press reporters visited her at home unexpectedly and showed her a photo of the student.
The student's friends think he joined thousands — possibly tens of thousands — of people who have been spirited away without trial into new indoctrination centers. The mass disappearances, beginning the past year, are part of efforts by Chinese authorities to use detentions and data-driven surveillance to impose a police state over the region of Xinjiang and its 10 million Uighurs, a Turkic-speaking Muslim minority that China says has been influenced by Islamic extremism.
Unprecedented levels of police blanket Xinjiang's streets in many cities. Cutting-edge surveillance systems track where Uighurs go, what they read, who they talk to and what they say.
Nov. 5, 2017 photo, a convoy of security forces in central Kashgar (Image: Associated Press)
Through rare interviews with Uighurs who recently left China, a review of government procurement contracts and unreported documents, and a trip through southern Xinjiang, the AP pieced together a picture of a campaign that's ostensibly rooting out terror — but instead instilling fear.
Most of the more than a dozen Uighurs interviewed for this story spoke on condition of anonymity for fear that Chinese authorities would punish them or their family members. The AP is withholding the student's name and other personal information to protect people who fear government retribution.
The Xinjiang regional government did not respond to repeated requests for comment. But China's government describes its Xinjiang security policy as a "strike hard" campaign that's necessary following a series of attacks in 2013 and 2014, including a mass knifing in a train station that killed 33. A Hotan city propaganda official, Bao Changhui, told the AP: "If we don't do this, it will be like several years ago — hundreds will die."
China also points to decades of heavy economic investment and cultural assimilation programs and measures like preferential college admissions for Uighurs.
Authorities refer to the detention program as "vocational training," but its main purpose appears to be indoctrination. Training sessions on "Mandarin, law, ethnic unity, de-radicalization, patriotism" are described as lasting anywhere from 3 months to 2 years.
In Korla, one center the AP visited was labeled a jail. Another was downtown on a street sealed off by rifle-toting police.
Southern Xinjiang, where Korla is located, is one of the most heavily policed places on earth.
In Hotan, police depots with flashing lights and foot patrols are set up every 500 meters. Motorcades of more than 40 armored vehicles rumble down city boulevards. Police checkpoints on every other block stop cars to check identification and smartphones for religious content.
Nov. 3, 2017 photo, armed civilian patrol outside the Hotan Bazaar (Image: Associated Press)
Xinjiang's published budget data shows public security spending this year is on track to increase 50 percent from 2016 to roughly 45 billion yuan ($6.8 billion) after rising 40 percent a year ago. It's quadrupled since 2009, when a Uighur riot broke out in Urumqi, killing nearly 200 people.
But much of the policing goes unseen.
Shoppers entering the Hotan bazaar must pass through metal detectors and place their national identification cards on a reader while having their faces scanned. AP reporters were stopped outside a hotel by a police officer who said the public security bureau had been remotely tracking the reporters' movements by watching surveillance camera footage.
The government's tracking efforts have extended to vehicles, genes and even voices. A biometric data collection program appears to have been formalized last year under "Document No. 44," a regional public security directive to "comprehensively collect three-dimensional portraits, voiceprints, DNA and fingerprints." The document's full text remains secret, but the AP found at least three contracts referring to the 2016 directive in recent purchase orders for equipment such as microphones and voice analyzers.
China has also turned to a familiar low-tech surveillance tactic: recruiting the masses.
A Uighur businessman from Kashgar who fled China said his four brothers and his father were in prison because of his escape and that families tasked with spying on one another in his community had also been punished. Members from each were sent to re-education centers for three months, he told the AP.
A document obtained by U.S.-based activists and seen by the AP shows Uighur residents in the Hebei Road West neighborhood in Urumqi, the regional capital, being graded on a 100-point scale. Those of Uighur ethnicity are automatically docked 10 points. Being aged between 15 and 55, praying daily, or having a religious education, all result in 10 point deductions. A neighborhood police official in Urumqi surnamed Tao confirmed that every community committee in the city needed to conduct similar assessments.
Uighurs abroad say it's too risky to stay in touch with their families in China.
Nov. 4, 2017 photo, children play in the old city district in Kashgar (Image: Associated Press)
When Salih Hudayar, an American Uighur graduate student, last called his 70-something grandfather this summer, the elderly man told him kindly not to call again. He later heard his grandfather had been sent to an indoctrination camp.
A Uighur student who moved to Washington following the crackdown this summer said that after his move, his wife, a government worker still in Urumqi, messaged to say the police would show up at her home in 20 minutes. She had to say goodbye: after that she would delete him permanently from her contacts list.
Later, he couldn't help himself placing one last call home. His daughter picked up.
"Mom is sick but she doesn't want me to speak to you. Goodbye," she said.
Nov. 4, 2017 photo, Kashgar. Billboards read "Welcome 19th Congress," "Patriotism" and "Democracy" (Image: Associated Press)
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Pizza Hut Restaurants - Hull St Andrews Quay
Italian, American, Pizza
Unit B St Andrews Quay, Clive Sullivan Way, Hull, HU3 4SA
2 for 1 at Pizza Hut Restaurants - Hull St Andrews Quay
Pizza Hut Restaurants are passionate about pizza and serving their guests. They lovingly develop pizzas based on what their guests tell us they want...a range of bases - from deep pan, to the All American thin to our skinny 600 calorie pizzas. All topped with fresh toppings. Pair that with the fresh free unlimited salad, the unlimited soft drinks and unlimited Ice Cream - it's just, well, heaven.
That's not all, they've changed. A lot. they're still the life and soul of pizza - they aren't changing that but they've added a proper lively dose of pizzazz. They've got a brand new look, and loads of new food on the menu for visitors to come and have a look at (and a nibble, a drink, and a really good time). So grab those taste buddies and let's hustle!
Please Note: Dine-in terms and conditions: This Pizza Hut Restaurants offer gives you 2 for 1 on all courses - cheapest of each course is free, excludes all sharing options. Offer only applies to the main menu. Excludes Buffet, Big Sharer, sharing pizzas, sharing platters, sharing cookie dough, extra toppings, drinks, take away, kids menu, kids birthday parties, and any other promotions, vouchers, offers or deals. The tastecard offer is valid for 2 people. No maximum table size but multiple tastecards (one card per two people) must be used to receive more than one complimentary meal, for example, a table of 6 would require 3 tastecards to get 3 complimentary meals. No need to book in advance, but please mention you intend to use your tastecard when being seated. Bank Holidays, Valentine's Day, Mother’s Day, Easter Sunday and Father’s Day are excluded from the restaurant offer. The restaurant offer is not available at Pizza Hut Restaurants' Butlins (Minehead) and Jersey (The Waterfront) locations.
JAMES said "Pizza was dull and uninspiring
It's Pizza Hut! Expectations were moderated to start with and we weren't..."
" Great "
JAMES said: "Pizza was dull and uninspiring
It's Pizza Hut! Expectations were moderated to start with and we weren't disappointed.
The pizzas were not very good, lacking toppings as though cheese were being rationed and all of a sudden we're in the 1950s.
The children's (5 of them) all seemed to enjoy their pasta and salad etc... Ice cream factory always a winner with the kids.
Overall, pleasant staff, good price and happy kids. "
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You Are Here: Read an Article > View All Posts for the Article > Read a Post
Read a Post for Scientific Research in Education
* Response to Natriello
Posted By: Reba Page on June 25, 2003
I�ve never thought about federally-funded research in education as like a sprig of parsley, a leaf of decorative cabbage, or a half-slice or two of an orange, but that�s what Gary Natriello suggests when he talks about such research as a �garnish� on the meat-and-potatoes plate of �values-driven debates� about education and schooling. It�s an intriguing analogy.
GN uses the metaphor on p. 3 of his review of Scientific Research in Education, when he criticizes the report for acknowledging but underestimating the extent to which debates about education and schooling are values-driven and, further, how the normative character of those debates shapes assessments and support for education research. We have to consider, he suggests, that the feds support research in education �to foster debate and not to resolve issues of policy and practice . . . it is used primarily to provide the garnish for values-driven debates.� Seeing research this way, he says, helps explain why funding levels are so low and why they will probably remain low, and this, even if research satisfies the newly-formulated requirements to be �scientific.�
GN�s metaphor of federally-funded research as garnish points our attention to the �deep play� now being performed in and with the Shavelson report (commissioned by the National Research Council) and, also important, in and with P.L. 107-279, The Education Sciences Reform Act of 2002, initially sponsored by Representative Michael Castle (R-Delaware) and passed by Congress in October, 2002. If we follow GN�s lead and spin out additional facets of his analogy, we can speculate further about the play, particularly about connections between the seemingly disjoint notions that research is only a garnish yet much effort is being made to ensure its scientific substance.
To begin, we might notice that the comparison of research with garnishes suggests not only a low-budget item, as GN says, but that research is of trifling importance � a merely decorative embellishment providing little �food for thought.� (Recall Philip Jackson�s assessment some years back regarding the lack of �nourishment� offered in much research on teaching.)
Or perhaps, as GN suggests, there is piquancy in research, as in pickles, such that the government can use it to �foster� the public�s relish for debate about education. Certainly, we can all recall instances when the government mobilized research to arouse the public�s sense that schools are in crisis or, more likely, that the country is and schools will furnish the solution. At the same time, though, I would guess it is just as likely that the debate fostered could be about why anyone bothers with a rose-radish alongside the fried eggs and bacon. Both rose-radishes and education research may be merely conventionalized tokens � something that has to be at least waved at if people want to be taken seriously, but which they can leave untouched, at the side of their plates, with few direct or immediate consequences.
Still, consider that garnishes can serve as arousal devices that provoke the appetite. Then, just as diners may chow down with gusto upon noting the spot of color on their plates and imagining a cook taking the trouble to add an aesthetic touch, along with some Vitamin C, rather than just ritualistically microwaving the meatloaf, so a spot or two of federally-funded research may pique the public�s appetite for debate by suggesting a responsible government which, like the cook, has taken the trouble to present a tasteful meal. Its imprimatur guarantees only Grade A topics � no more uninspected, field-based initiatives � and the correct methods of handling them. Furthermore, the current garnish of choice � �scientific� research � may be the perfect fillip for debate in anxious times. Whose attention and participation isn�t sparked these days by such condiments as hard facts, objective findings, and certified programs that �work�?
But this turn in the analogy makes me wonder, are garnishes a hold-over from the days when sailors were tossed a few lemons along with their sea biscuits to ward off scurvy? Maybe federally-funded educational research, now certifiably scientific, is a slice of lemon that promises to free the public from the �scurvy� of politicized and ideological education and to release citizens from responsibility for making difficult and oftentimes contentious choices � just sit back and turn decisions over to the experts. Seen thus, the garnish of federally-funded research isn�t necessarily used to foster debate � it may be used to ward it off or keep it in check. Public debate is unpredictable � and if governments seek to foster it, they also seek to control it.
This turn may also suggest that not all garnishes are created equal, just as different garnishes mean different things to different diners. A dab of caviar � or �science� � probably incites appetites differently than carrot curls. So, in contrast to its investments in social studies or arts education, compare the millions the government has invested in sponsoring the Third International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS) and in disseminating the news that U.S. schools and children are losing the race with other nations, along with crucial, defensive actions that must be taken, e.g., once again, more and higher-status coursework in math and science. However symbolic the government�s use of TIMSS, symbolic action is rarely �only� symbolic in its consequences.
By spinning out GN�s metaphor, we notice that the significance of federally-funded research (and garnishes) is multivalent and often ambiguous � it can be used to entice citizens to debate (and to at least minimal consideration of research) and to turn citizens away from debate (and to a dismissive assessment of research). However distasteful the ambiguity may seem from a logical perspective, Murray Edelman argues that it is a key feature of powerful political language and a key means of maintaining the status quo in American society. Faced with persistent social problems, including education and schooling, policy makers use language to speak out of both sides of their mouths, in language that resonates with the ambitious but often contradictory ideals of �America.� The public is urged to trust the experts and engage in egalitarian debate, respect knowledge and be true to their values, hold lazy individuals accountable and standardize and centralize schooling, insist on a curriculum of �high-status knowledge for all� (talk about double-speak!) and a curriculum that honors individual differences in interests, talent, and aspirations, etc. The double-speak plays on our uncertainties about difficult problems, it works to incite concern yet also assuages it � usually by promising a banal solution to the crisis (more time in school, inspirational slogans, �scientific� research) which the government will take care of, if only it is awarded more latitude for action and more revenue. When the commonsensical solution fails, the crisis is re-announced and, as Sarason puts it, the more things change, the more they remain the same � except that moral fatigue deepens as repeated crises and repeated failure to deal with them are announced with ever-increasing frequency.
If debates about education are unerringly values-driven, and I agree with GN that they are, and if the feds use the research they fund as a poly-vocal garnish and �not to resolve issues of policy and practice,� one question we researchers in education might put to ourselves as we seek to comprehend and respond to the Shavelson report, the Education Sciences Reform Act, and other federal initiatives in education: what authority would we researchers claim for our work in values-driven debates? Is our work just one view among many? Does it offer proven directives for practice and policy? How are knowledge and values related? And would our response also be ambiguous, or can we act creatively and collectively to generate a clarifying position?
Thread Hierarchy
Response to Natriello by Reba Page on June 25, 2003 *
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Three Things to Watch for Virginia Tech Against Delaware State
Photo Credit: Dave Knachel/Virginia Tech Athletics
Virginia Tech continued to take care of business against weaker competition with a pair of victories over USC Upstate and Lehigh. In the process, star redshirt freshman Landers Nolley was named the ACC Freshman of the Week after a pair of strong scoring performances against those 2 teams.
Will Virginia Tech keep their undefeated start going against Delaware State? Check out my three things to watch and pick for tonight's game below.
1. Can Landers Nolley Keep This Fast Start Going?
Landers Nolley has been impressive over the first four games of this season averaging 22.8 points, 5.8 rebounds, and 1.5 steals per game while shooting over 50% from the field and three-point range in three of his four games. Nolley has been the focal point on the offensive end and his risen to the occasion so far from his 30-point performance at Clemson to what he did last week averaging 25 points per game.
Tonight should provide Nolley another chance to continue to build confidence against a weaker opponent. However, don't be surprised if Nolley, and other starters' minutes are limited in the second half ahead of the long trip to Maui and having to play 3 games in 3 days next week.
Nolley should have another big game today, but next week should provide his toughest test yet in regards to how dynamic of an offensive player he can be this season. Pass that test and VT fans will have reason to believe that the Hokies could significantly exceed some of the low expectations for year 1 of the Mike Young era, and maybe even make a run at the NIT.
2. Getting Young Players Experience
This game should present another opportunity for Mike Young to get young backups like Jalen Cone and John Ojiako more playing time and experience ahead of their big trip to Maui. VT may not be tested by Delaware State, but this game presents the Hokies with another opportunity to get their younger players valuable experience for long stretches that can help prep them.
Overall, the Hokies have had nine players averaging double-digit minutes per game to start this season in part because the competition has allowed for extended minutes for younger players like Cone, Ojiako, and Hunter Cattoor. Expect the Hokies to continue that type of rotation tonight with those players seeing lots of second half minutes should Nolley, Wabissa Bede, PJ Horne, and others take care of business early on.
Mike Young has embraced having a deep rotation for these early games as he seeks to build some good experience up for his younger players. Expect more of that tonight ahead of the final tune-up before Maui and an opening game against Michigan State.
3. Limiting Turnovers
One thing that Virginia Tech has shown may be an area of concern is with turnovers though the Hokies have been better over the past week after a slow start. Averaging only 11.5 turnovers per game is pretty good for a young team like the Hokies, but building consistency to keep that number down will be important.
This will likely be a priority tonight with VT likely wanting to keep that number in single digits especially against a team that has struggled as much as Delaware State. While that is definitely easier said than done, that should be more than attainable given the competition level.
Tonight's game presents an opportunity for this young VT team to build good habits with how they move the basketball around while also building better offensive chemistry that could be valuable next week. Struggle tonight with turnovers and it could be a sign of struggles to come in Maui next week.
Delaware State has been one of the worst teams in the country ranking 351st out of 353 teams according to KenPom with three of their four losses coming by double-digits to Georgia, Rider, and Manhattan. While a young Virginia Tech team may be looking ahead to their trip to Maui, the talent gap is significant in this matchup and the result should be the same.
Expect this game to present a great opportunity for Virginia Tech to get their four true freshmen lots of playing time in the second half along with other backups as prep for next week. Overall, this should be another comfortable victory as the Hokies finish up their prep for their toughest test to date next week in Maui.
Pick: Virginia Tech 85, Delaware State 52
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Lava Z25 with Selfie Flash, 4G VoLTE Support Launched in India
Domestic Smartphone maker Lava has launched its new smartphone named Lava Z25 in India. The Lava Z25 features a 5.5-inch (1280 x 720 pixels)...
Karan Kapri - March 22, 2017 0
Lava Z10 with 5-inch HD Display, 4G VoLTE Support Launched at Rs. 11,500
Lava has launched its new smartphone named Lava Z10 in India. The Lava Z10 features a 5-inch (1280 x 720 pixels) HD IPS display...
Lava X41+ with 5-inch HD Display, 4G VoLTE Support Launched in India for Rs. 8,999
Lava has launched its new VoLTE enabled budget smartphone named Lava X41+ in India. The Lava X41+ features a 5-inch (1280 x 720 pixels)...
Lava A56 with 5-inch Display, 5MP Camera Launched in India for Rs. 4,199
Lava has launched its new affordable smartphone called Lava A56 in India. The Lava A56 features a 5-inch (854 x 480 pixels) FWVGA Display....
Lava A68 with 4.5-inch Display, Android Marshmallow Launched at Rs. 4,599
Lava has launched its latest budget smartphone named Lava A68 in India. The Lava A68 features a 4-inch (800 x 480 pixels) WVGA TFT...
Lava X80 with 8-inch HD Display, Voice Calling Support Launched at Rs. 9,999
Lava has launched its latest tablet named Lava X80 in India. The Lava X80 features a 8-inch (1280 x 800 pixels) IPS Display. It is...
Smartphones Karan Kapri - January 14, 2020 0
Smartphones Karan Kapri - January 3, 2020 1
Smartphones Karan Kapri - December 27, 2019 0
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Staying alert and regular with The Standells and The Electric Prunes
"Dirty Water" by the Standells is, to my mind, the first bit of punk iteration, predating even the hallowed grind and gassy grimace of the Stooges and the MC5 by three years. A blues riff the guitarist was more interested in making irritating than emotionally expressive, a lyric that bad mouthed the narrator's origins who other glories in how grimy and switchbladey his home turf is, a singer determined to brag, mock, leer and sneer in a decidedly juvenile manner--this was the first thing I remember hearing when I started to take rock bands seriously that seemed so sublimely obnoxious and willfully idiotic that it couldn't be anything other than an authentic expression of some righteously immature attitudes. Even today, the rusty and repetitive riff, the snot swallowing vocal, the unintentionally Kurt Weilish lyrics, sound juvenile, fresh, convincingly hubristic, a bunch of drop outs owning their limitations and happy that it leaves you irked and uneasy . This project and other efforts of the dozens of one-shot wonders who cascaded during the period--the Barbarians, The Syndicate of Sound, The Music Machine, The Seeds-- had as much to do with the creation of what we'd later term a "Punk" style, with the ratty guitars, the sub-literate lyrics, the construction site style timekeeping of the mostly anonymous rhythm sections as were the deservedly praised and expansively influential works of the Velvet Underground, the Stooges, or the MC5. The difference between those last three bands, household names in rock fiefdoms in every cranny of the internet, and the earlier bands emerging from garages and basements and eventually making their into the studios of local record labels and to appearances at no age limit teen clubs and TV dance shows, was that Velvets, the Stooges and the 5 made a choice to sound and exclaim the way they did; it was a choice backed by aesthetics and short order versions of 20th century philosophy, a body of thought heavily seasoned with post WW2 gloom and rootlessness. The other guys just wanted to make noise and meet chicks and expressed worldview not far advanced than the average teen ager's harrowing time of extreme self-consciousness and expressions of that in terms no less over the line and loudly presented. Their lives weren't so far removed from the issues Chuck Berry might have outlined in his classic teen theme masterpieces, but only harder, ruder, with an edge that would only get more cutting with time.
A little later in the decade, 1967, a band with an equally obnoxiously odd name The Electric Prunes had a hit with a fuzz -tone-y anthem called "I Had Too Much Last Night". A grating distortion characterizes the ensemble, guitar tracks played backwards looping throughout the song, melodramatic from major to minor keys, drum beats more remindful of heavy shoes climbing loose-boarded stairways, the song is ridiculous in idea and execution, centering on a young man's long night of the soul as he recalls a strange dream about his girlfriend. This is a garage psychedelia or course, and it's to be expected that the dream is described in words that are overripe and garish, a first timer's first attempt at a serious poem without first having read Wallace Stevens.I relate to that , as I read rather a lot of gruesome juvenilia myself after my first encounter with 'Desolation Row". Earnest rhymes and images, yes, but still pedestrian and without a credible pulse of wit.
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My career – a narrative version
Exploring Physical Culture
Tessa Gordziejko
WORDS CREATIVITY LEADERSHIP
Heavenly Heights and Rock Bollocks
Last weekend was Heavenly in my home town of Hebden Bridge. It was Heavenly weekend, a celebration of the 25 year-old record label whose roster includes Doves, St Etienne, The Vines, Magic Numbers, Temples, Cherry Ghost, Stealing Sheep, to name but a few.
My good friend and blogger Olivia Rosen was up for the weekend, unable to resist such concentrated musical riches within the pulsating walls of what she claims to be her favourite independent music venue, the Hebden Bridge Trades Club. She was planning to write a blog about the weekend, and the gigs we had managed to get tickets for among the rapid sell-outs of the headline events.
When she arrives, she tells me she has almost been discouraged from writing her music blog at all, such is her admiration for a music blogger whose site she had recently been following. “He writes with such fluency. So clever and knowledgeable. It makes me want to give up”. I know how she feels. As a writer I have recently been so daunted by the work of our talented project writers, that I wonder why I continue with my inept scribbles.
The week before, I’d been to see Stuart Maconie talking about his recent book The People’s Songs. He’d explained why he’d chosen to write a social history illustrated by 50 popular tracks, rather than the ‘rock history’ he was originally asked to write, which might require him to pen such phrases as ‘Punk emerged as a reaction away from the bloated hegemony and faux intellectualism of the progressive rock genre which dominated the 60’s and early 70’s’ (something like that. It involved the words ‘bloated’ and ‘hegemony’ anyway and he claims it is a phrase his Mum could give in answer to the question ‘Why punk?’). He decided to write a book about the soundtrack to people’s lives, the actual soundtrack of My Boy Lollipop, She Loves You Yeah Yeah Yeah, Y Viva Espana, Ghost Town, Dedicated Follower of Fashion, Bye Bye Baby, tracks which may not be the coolest tracks to like, but which, when heard, bring back immediately the years in which they charted and the other things that were going on then. They are tracks which summon up what it was like to be alive in Britain in 1975 or 68 or 84.
I visit the site of the music reviewer who is giving Olivia her blog-envy. He is cutting a different kind of prose altogether. It’s reminiscent of those NME reviews with a certain swashbuckling timbre deriving from the arrangement of the words ‘muscular’, ‘eclectic’, ‘landmark’,’ lock-down’, ‘rousing’, ‘slice’, ‘attitude’, ‘unforgiving’, ‘real-deal’, ‘retro’, ‘bomb’, ‘headline’, ‘authentic’ and ‘rendition’ in an original order around the phrase ‘dropped a tight set’.
So, the thing with Olivia’s blog Gourmet Gigs. It was originally called Festivals Food over Forties, and she started the blog to describe venues, festivals, bands and eateries which might have a special appeal to the older gig-goer, or at least be worth exploring whilst feeling sort of welcome. What she’s writing about is what it is like to be there. Why she decided to go, how the venue feels, what the audience is like, whether as a forty something (and a bit) one will find oneself in the middle of a teen mosh-pit or among a crowd whose demographic requires frequent trips to the lavatory (as in the audience for the film Northern Soul). Sure she describes the set, what the band played, how it sounded compared with familiar recorded versions or other performances of that tune. But she also talks about how the artist inter-acted with the audience, how the crowd responded, technical glitches and, most importantly how the music made her feel .
If I’m reading about any cultural event, that’s what I want to know. What was it like to be there, did the music uplift, challenge, surprise? What carried you away? It’s how I think about the art I produce as well. How do I want the audience to feel, what will their relationship be to the work? Rock Bollocks as a writing style is pretty much the same as Dance Bollocks or Visual Art Bollocks (two genres which excel in scrotal prose IMHO), it serves to obfuscate, to parade a false cleverness and to mask the visceral audience experience. I have been at symposia on how the arts can thrive and survive involving groups of artists, where what the audience feels or thinks appears to be the last thing on anybody’s mind.
So, after that long pre-amble, where does that place me in penning a few lines about our weekend of Heavenly in the Pennines? Being somebody who long since stopped poring over music papers (in about 1978) and for whom a combination of CRAFT* and plain old ignorance means that the only two bands I could initially bring to mind on the Heavenly label were Doves and Magic Numbers – I can hardly write from a position of knowledge, or even valid opinion, about muscular guitar riffs, rousing ballads, authentic lo-fi renditions or real-deal slices of glam-rock-indebted, retro-bombs. When all’s said and done I can only talk about a) why I enjoyed the weekend b) a few quirky thoughts and c) what left me wanting more. So here goes.
Why I enjoyed the weekend : Three gigs over two days, two of them in the afternoon, brought back to me why I love live music in a small venue. You get close to the artist, you see how the musicians inter-act with each other. There’s a power in hearing the acoustic guitar echo in real acoustic space as well as through the PA. In a packed room, you feel the vibe between the band and the audience, a sparky, friendly, complicit relationship through the tunes which you are loving being a part of. In the afternoon, you don’t drink a load of beer and hence you don’t have to make several trips to the loo. You’re pleasantly mellow on your half a cider, but not alchohol-euphoric. You’re listening to night time music while it’s light outside the blacked out hall, in quiet moments between numbers you hear birds in the trees. You let the music in a different door, and your heart soars with the piano chords.
A few quirky thoughts : When you are close to the stage you notice that the keyboard player for Cherry Ghost has come on stage in his socks. You ponder on why you never noticed before that Jimi Goodwin plays left-handed bass or that he has the most massive head (and I’m from a huge-headed family, I buy my hats from rasta shops). Which adds to the demeanour of understated niceness he gives off on stage. And you come -to around the third number of Eaves’ set to realise that this guy has a genuinely lovely voice and some beautiful melodies, but a performing artist who plays acoustic guitar and sings miserable songs would be giving themselves a leg-up if they steered away from the Neil the Hippy look, because it takes me as an audience member three songs into the set to get that Young Ones gateway behind me.
What left me wanting more : The Trades Club felt like the coolest venue on the planet this weekend. The Jimi Goodwin gig sent me away to re-aquaint myself with the oevre of Doves and to listen to his new stuff. The Cherry Ghost gig sent me to the merchandise table to buy a CD, only to find that the CD is now a redundant format. It’s either vinyl or downloads .
In 2015 I shall be doing three things : 1. buying a turntable 2. renewing my lapsed Trades Club membership, and 3. seeing and hearing more live music in small venues everywhere.
That’s all folks. If you want to know more about the sounds, I suggest you read a proper music blog like Gourmet Gigs.
*Can’t’ Remember a Fucking Thing
Olivia Rosen January 29, 2015, 10:18 pm
I’m delighted and flattered by your comments Tessa. Also amused and entertained greatly by your musings on the Heavenly weekend. The Trades is indeed a ‘hot’ (and cool) venue right now, even more so since Laura Marling has also chosen to play grace its stage. This is Independent Venue week, so it’s great to see such places thriving at a time when we are losing so many small, quirky and historically important venues.
Next post: Boot Up the Body Talk
Previous post: COLON, HYPHEN, CLOSE BRACKET – OR DIE
‘Caminante no hay camino, se hace camino al andar’
Traveller, there is no path, the path is made by walking
e: tessa@tessagordz.co.uk
Website: Jan Scott Nelson
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SAM MENDES INTERVIEW
After a showing of his latest film 'Paris, Texas', Sam Mendes was briefly interviewed on the current status of Bond 24.
BRITISH ACTRESS IS ATTACHED TO BOND 24 RUMOURS
Sam Mendes and John Logan talk about the script whilst Joanne Froggatt has been added to the casting rumours. Click to read more...
RALPH FIENNES, RORY KINNEAR AND NAOMI HARRIS INTERVIEWS (VIDEOS)
Rory Kinnear and Naomi Harris have talked about the forthcoming 24th James Bond adventure to Red Carpet TV News. Click 'Read More' to view the videos and read an interview with Ralph Fiennes...
NAOMI HARRIS CONFIRMED - "BOND 24"
In late October, Ralph Fiennes confirmed that he will be returning in "Bond 24" as the new M. And now, Naomi Harris has also confirmed that she will be reappearing as Miss Moneypenny in the next film, stating that the producers are trying to "reinvent and revamp" the character.
Ralph Fiennes, Naomi Harris and Ben Whishaw were all optioned for "Bond 24" and "Bond 25" in their respective roles until Daniel Craig's current contract ends. Naomi Harris spoke about how she was cast and the future of Moneypenny in an interview with the NY Daily News [...]
JUDI DENCH COMMENTS ON HER TIME AS JAMES BOND'S BOSS "M"
Seven time "M" actress Judi Dench has recently commented about her time as James Bond's boss. She admits she was spoiled by the filmmakers...
"You know, I had a wonderful time, but you have to be realistic. Would MI6 really not have given me the push by now, there aren’t [enough roles], considering the amount of people who are my age. But then there never have been. Look at Shakespeare: there aren’t enough women parts in Shakespeare. You feel very, very lucky if you get to play any. You feel very lucky indeed."
It has recently been confirmed that the role of "M" will be fulfilled by Ralph Fiennes in the fourth-coming 24th James Bond adventure, scheduled for release in the UK on 23rd October 2015
BRINGING BACK THE HUMOUR... BOND 24
Whilst Daniel Craig and his wife Rachel Weisz are gearing up for their Broadway production 'Betrayal', they were interviewed by Vulture about the show. Eventually, the conversation turned to BOND 24.
"The shot where Bond leaps atop a speeding train in pursuit of a killer and straightens his cuffs: That came to Craig practically in mid-flight. He’s really fucking hurt himself jumping on top of a train, and he just wants to straighten himself up. That’s what it’s about: poise. To be more concerned about the way you look at the moment of crisis. The weirder the place it comes from the better it is.”
According to Craig, he had the entire crew reset the sequence so that the addditional scene could be shot. Vulture also asked Craig if his interpretation would now be 'ready to take on the trappings and suits of 007 with less chafing'. To which he replied...
“Hopefully we’ll reclaim some of the old irony, and make sure it doesn’t become pastiche. I can’t do shtick, I’m not very good at it. Unless it kind of suddenly makes sense. Does that make sense? I sometimes wish I hammed it up more, but I just can’t do it very well, so I don’t do it.”
'SKYFALL' WINS 2 AWARDS AT THE OSCARS
Congratulations to SKYFALL’s Adele for her Best Original Song Oscar and also to Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers who picked up the Oscar for Sound Editing!
NAOMI HARRIS TALKS ABOUT EVE AND BOND'S RELATIONSHIP
Naomie Harris has given an interesting insight in to the debate whether James Bond and Eve hooked up in Macau in "Skyfall". The shaving scene left a lot of viewers wondering, "did they, or didn't they?"
On the topic of whether Eve and Bond actually had sex after the cut-throat razor shaving scene, Harris told the Empire podcast: "That scene actually got cut short. It was originally cut so that you would know categorically that nothing happened, and then they re-edited it so they left it a bit more open."
On where she would like the Moneypenny character to go in future instalments: "I'd like her to go back into the field, I think, because I got so much stick for being a terrible shot, a terrible driver, not really a great agent. I want to prove everyone wrong."
Naomi Harris as Eve Moneypenny in "Skyfall" (2012)
SKYFALL TRAIN UNVEILED
Today, a train named after Bond film SKYFALL was unveiled at King’s Cross Station. It’s the first time a film has permanently given its name to a train. The East Coast London to Edinburgh service, train number 91007, has been renamed SKYFALL with each of its eleven carriages wrapped in SKYFALL artwork. Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli, actress Naomie Harris (Eve Moneypenny) and writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade were on the train’s maiden journey which departed platform 007 at King’s Cross at 8.33am.
You can follow the train’s progress on Twitter. #SKYFALLTRAIN
"SKYFALL LODGE" WEBSITE LAUNCHED
Visit skyfalllodge.com to learn about how the "Skyfall" team designed and constructed the huge set, browse concept artwork and photographs from the production and watch video from the crew. There is also a snippet of Sam Mendes' commentary track about the location. If you can find the hidden door to the Priest hole, you'll unlock a stunt bootcamp videoblog.
Aston Martin fans will no doubt love the set of behind the scenes photographs and 360 degree virtual 3D model.
"Skyfall" is available on Blu-Ray and DVD in the USA & Canada now, and will be launched in the UK on February 18th, 2013.
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Original content © the007bond.com 2018, all rights reserved. the007bond.com is an unofficial, not-for-profit website with no link to the James Bond copyright holders.
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Thompson & Knight’s attorneys meet the transactional, financial, regulatory, litigation, environmental, and tax needs of companies with product lines as diverse as chlor-alkali, olefins, ethylene, polyethylene, polypropylene, and a host of other commodity chemicals and products.
Phillip G. Oldham
Phillip.Oldham@tklaw.com
Douglas F. Pedigo
Doug.Pedigo@tklaw.com
Jonathan B. Shoebotham
Jonathan.Shoebotham@tklaw.com
Rex D. VanMiddlesworth
Rex.VanM@tklaw.com
View Related Team
Thompson & Knight’s attorneys meet the transactional, financial, regulatory, litigation, environmental, and tax needs of companies with product lines as diverse as chlor-alkali, olefins, ethylene, polyethylene, polypropylene, and a host of other commodity chemicals and other products, including benzene, butadiene, chlorinated solvents, industrial equipment, pharmaceuticals, high-tech products, forest products, and cement. We defend chemical companies against intellectual property, product liability, and environmental lawsuits; help them raise capital, buy and sell operations; develop and construct new facilities; and advise them on daily operational concerns ranging from employment issues to tax law.
The Firm’s attorneys regularly represent chemical industry clients concerning the formation of and structuring of international and domestic joint ventures, asset acquisitions and dispositions, project development, and project finance transactions. Additionally, the Firm advises our petrochemical clients on the commercial execution side, including with respect to engineering, construction and procurement, operations, marketing and sales agreements, and transportation arrangements.
Thompson & Knight defends chemical companies against intellectual property, product liability, toxic tort, and environmental lawsuits as well as handles brownfield redevelopment work involving former chemical plant sites. Our environmental attorneys also routinely assist chemical companies in due diligence and permit transfers in mergers, acquisitions, and other investment transactions.
Represented a Texas-based olefins company in a $172.5 million Construction Commitment Agreement (Governing Agreement) and associated Transportation Services Agreement with a joint venture between one of the largest chemical companies worldwide and a Saudi Arabia-based diversified manufacturing company for an ethylene pipeline running from a downstream ethane cracker and chemical facility owned and operated by the joint venture, to an underground storage facility, and eventually to a further-downstream ethylene transportation network currently under development
Represented a major chemical manufacturer in the sale of a product pipeline as part of a sale of a chemical plant in Louisiana, including consents to assign pipeline rights-of-way, regulatory issues, and negotiation of a surviving throughput agreement
Represent one of the world’s largest chemical manufacturers in its purchase of upstream oil and gas assets
Represent a U.S. chemical manufacturer in developing an on-site cogeneration facility, including assisting with all required approvals and associated agreements
Represent one of the world’s largest chemical manufacturing sites in negotiating and executing feedstock supply agreements for their U.S. assets
Represent the one of the world’s largest manufacturers of petrochemicals, specialty chemicals, and oil products in a variety of electric and pipeline regulatory matters
Advised Braskem Idesa on the Ethylene XXI project regarding clearing out rights of use of land where the main port was adapted to receive all construction materials for development of the petrochemical facility within the Municipality of Nanchital, Veracruz, including approaching local authorities for negotiation of lease agreement, clearing of title, and other related issues
Obtained a jury verdict in favor of a large chemical manufacturer defending claims of personal injuries and property damages by residents who lived adjacent to a Superfund site; verdict was affirmed by the Texas Court of Appeals
Represented the U.S. subsidiary of one of the world’s largest manufacturers of chemicals and oil products in executing a complex downstream transaction for the construction and operation of a plant-within-plant methionine manufacturing facility jointly developed and owned by two Japanese conglomerates and located within the company’s acrylonitrile facility in Texas
Obtained a jury verdict in favor of a large chemical manufacturer defending claims of occupational exposures to chemicals by more than 100 workers in a microelectronics facility
Served as lead counsel for major national chemical company in federal court negligence and breach of contract case
Advised one of the world’s largest manufacturers of chemicals and oil products with respect to numerous environmental issues associated with colocation of a chemical plant owned by another company at the site of the client’s existing chemical plant
Represented a chemical manufacturer in defending property damage claims involving groundwater contamination
Represented a subsidiary of one of the world’s largest manufacturers of chemicals and oil products, which focuses on the production of polyalphaolefins (PAOs), in a $414 million EPC contract with a global provider of technical, professional, and scientific services
Have provided tax advice to a large Mexican chemical company, including representation of a consortium of Luxembourg and Mexican buyers of Mexico assets and operations of a Houston-based oilfield services company
Served as counsel to a chemical and plastics company in connection with upset and release issues arising from the startup of a new chemical plant
Represented a major chemical supplier in defense of product liability claim and pursuit of indemnity after a major distribution center explosion destroying the premises in the DFW area
Served as lead trial and mediation counsel for large international chemical company in breach of contract litigation against electric cooperative
Representation regarding a large volume commodity export purchase for a petrochemical project, including due diligence on bidders, review of term sheet, and drafting the fully termed ethane purchase agreement
Served as lead trial and mediation counsel for Fortune 100 petrochemical company in negligence case against power company
Jump To OverviewExperience
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Tullamarine Freeway sign falls and crushes car, injuring woman
By Melissa Cunningham
January 9, 2019 — 7.37am
The crumpled sign on the Tullamarine Freeway. Credit:ABC
Road authorities will probe an "extremely rare" collapse of an overhead freeway sign which toppled onto a car, leaving a woman injured.
The woman is recovering in hospital with an arm injury after the traffic sign fell onto her car during peak hour on Melbourne's Tullamarine Freeway on Tuesday.
Dramatic footage from the scene shows a blue car crushed by the sign. The car's windscreen shatters and glass is strewn across the road. No other cars were hit.
The sign and gantry were installed as part of the CityLink-Tulla Widening project about 12 months ago.
Major Road Projects Authority delivery director Graeme Chambers said wind had not been a factor and that all signs installed at similar time along the freeway would be investigated.
"It [will be] all subject to detailed and thorough investigation," Mr Chambers said. "It is an extremely rare event. We last night mobilised our engineers as soon as we learnt of the incident."
The support structure that held the sign to the gantry also fell and crushed the car.
"The failure was at the connection with the overhead gantry,” Mr Chambers said.
At this stage, it is unclear how many traffic signs were installed around the same time.
"Clearly something has gone very wrong," Mr Chambers said. "The gantry would have been designed by an engineer, proof-engineered, independently reviewed and quality certified so we are going through all that documentation as part of the investigation."
The faulty sign was secured by a combination of metal bolts and welding, he said.
"Part of our investigation will be to inspect other signs that are fixed in a similar way," he said.
Mr Chambers said he didn't know how much the metal sign weighed, but that it was about four by five metres in size.
The moment the sign fell was caught on dashcam footage. Credit:Channel Nine
A crane was brought in to remove the sign from the road.
Mr Chambers said the work to install the sign was done by contractor Transurban.
Overnight, the area and surrounding traffic signs were inspected and initial investigations indicated there was no risk to drivers of other traffic signs falling onto cars, he said.
"I would drive on that road," Mr Chambers said on Wednesday.
VicRoads deputy chief executive Robyn Seymour said authorities were unaware of any similar incidents occurring and a team of experts was investigating.
While the road was upgraded by the Major Road Projects Authority and Transurban, it was handed back to VicRoads management about 12 months ago, she said.
"Given it is a brand new road there is a lot of work that Transurban, MRPA and ourselves need to do to really understand what happened," she said.
"Initial investigations would indicate that it is a local [safety] issue, but there is further work required which will occur tonight."
VicRoads sets the safety and standards for all road infrastructure across the state, she said.
"It will be us ensuring that these safety measures are met," Ms Seymour told reporters.
"In the building of the road, we inspected each section as it was built...as the signs were installed we inspected those."
She said VicRoads engineers drove along the freeway twice a day to check for hazards and conducted in-depth checks every six months on all road infrastructure, including physical inspections of gantries and signs.
Every two to four years detailed condition reviews of infrastructure were also done, she said.
The woman driver was taken to Royal Melbourne Hospital with an arm injury about 5.30pm on Tuesday following the incident, which closed the inbound exit from the Tullamarine Freeway to Bulla Road and Bell Street in Pascoe Vale South.
Lucky to escape serious injury, she remains in a stable condition and is expected to be released from hospital on Wednesday.
An image from dashcam footage that captured the sign falling. Credit:Channel Nine
Emergency services at the scene. Credit:ABC
Part of the freeway was shut down for several hours after the incident, with motorists advised to exit early at English Street and re-enter the freeway at Bulla Road.
Emergency services were at the scene for hours. Credit:ABC
A spokesman for Transurban said an initial investigation to check other similar signs installed as part of the CityLink Tulla Widening project was done overnight.
"Safety is of paramount importance to us and we will continue to work in collaboration with VicRoads, Major Road Projects Victoria and CPB Contractors as part of the investigation," he said.
Police said investigators had obtained dashcam footage of the incident but appealed to anyone who witnessed the sign falling to contact police.
Melissa Cunningham
Melissa Cunningham is The Age's health reporter.
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Corey Stoll Is a Modern Macbeth in a Medieval World
Classic Stage Company mounts a revival of the Scottish play.
Corey Stoll stars in William Shakespeare's Macbeth, directed by John Doyle, at Classic Stage Company.
(© Joan Marcus)
A bunch of witches run the show over at Classic Stage Company. That show is William Shakespeare's occult tragedy Macbeth, which is now performing in a zippy staging from director John Doyle, just in time for Halloween. In this production, the witches are indeed in charge — and there aren't just three. The entire cast seems to be in on the spell, incanting their hurly-burly lines as a chorus, and then stepping into name parts as required (most of the actors play multiple parts in this pared-down production). They perch upstage and watch over the proceedings like solemn owls on the lookout for a rodent. Who could that be?
It's our title character, of course: Macbeth (Corey Stoll) is the Thane of Glamis, a sleepy Scottish backwater. But when he triumphs over an army of invading Norwegians, allied with the perfidious Thane of Cawdor, King Duncan (Mary Beth Piel) resolves to award Macbeth with Cawdor's seat. Macbeth receives this news before the king ever tells him, because he and his buddy, Banquo (Erik Lochtefeld) encounter a coven of witches that can see the future. Their prophecies go further: Macbeth will someday be king, and Banquo's descendants will also be kings. But what of Duncan, who is presently king and very much alive? Macbeth's ambitious wife (Nadia Bowers) has a plan for him.
Nadia Bowers plays Lady Macbeth, and Corey Stoll plays Macbeth in John Doyle's production of Macbeth.
Stoll has become a familiar face at Shakespeare in the Park, where he has been instrumental in bringing Shakespeare's plays into a modern context: His Ulysses in Troilus and Cressida seemed to emerge straight out of Halliburton corporate headquarters, and his Iago was a wheedling spin-artist for the post-truth era. His made-for-Netflix mannerisms fit less comfortably on the Thane of Glamis, who is more McKinsey than Macbeth in this presentation. Certainly, he plays against Doyle's design, which presents a medieval world crafted in wood, adorned in wool, and defended by steel.
This Mac has a fitting mate in Bowers's Lady (the two are married in real life): "That which have made them drunk hath made me bold," she says with the swagger of a cable news talking head bragging how she drinks all the boys under the table. We can easily imagine these two attending a $1,000-a-plate SuperPac gala, which is essentially how the banquet scene is played — and it's hilarious (much more so than its uptown counterpart in Scotland, PA). Does it fit in Doyle's production? Not really, but we're glad for the comic relief, especially since the director has excised the porter (the clownish doorman who usually breaks up the drama with a funny monologue).
N'Jameh Camara plays Lady Macduff, and Barbara Walsh plays Ross in Macbeth.
N'Jameh Camara's brief appearance as Lady Macduff is the performance I'll most remember from this production: She's an honest woman attempting to raise a child in a world in which all morals are now negotiable, and the terror of that reads in her stony gaze. Many mothers in the audience will doubtlessly relate.
Doyle's staging has its peaks and valleys. His concepts for certain scenes (like the second prophecy, which takes the form of a black mass) are much stronger than others: The long scene between Duncan's son Malcolm (Raffi Barsoumian) and loyalist Macduff (Barzin Akhavan) feels like shapeless filler, rather than the essential turning-point that it is.
Still, Doyle has smartly shaved down the script to an essential 100 minutes, with the action of each scene bleeding into the next so there is no dead air onstage. Sound designer Matt Stine delineates the borders between early scenes with thunderclaps, which eventually disappear so that all we are left with is the hum of the witches underscoring Macbeth's soliloquys. Lighting designer Solomon Weisbard takes advantage of the considerable height of the theater, illuminating the ceiling to turn Classic Stage into a medieval great hall. Altogether, it is the kind of smart, efficient design that Doyle does best.
In his collaboration with trusty costume designer Ann Hould-Ward, Doyle crafts his most compelling story arc: All of the actors wear heavy wool cloaks at the top of the show, their tartan patterns scarcely visible (spare the one worn by Macbeth). As the show progresses, the performers shed their cloaks in favor of the simple black garments underneath, until the only tartan visible is the one Macbeth has hung over his throne like a banner. By the very end of the play, as the age of thanes passes into the age of earls, I wondered if these Scots had traded the thing that made them distinct for dull, colorless cosmopolitanism. Rather than being the most modern figure onstage, Macbeth actually feels like the last man standing in the way of the steamroller of progress.
Antonio Michael Woodard appears in Macbeth at Classic Stage Company.
Classic Stage Company
Erik Lochtefeld
Barbara Walsh
Raffi Barsoumian
Mary Beth Piel
Antonio Michael Woodard
Barzin Akhavan
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Archive for Holstein USA
Are You Making the Most of Genomic Information?
Much has been written about genomic indexes since they were introduced in 2008, yet one key ingredient has been ignored. That ingredient is how can a breeder use the genomic information to analyse and plan for the future breeding of their herd? To fill that need Holstein Association USA, and Zoetis joined forced to develop the Enlight service that any Holstein producer in the USA can benefit from using.
Let’s hear about Enlight from Lindsey Worden
Lindsey is the Executive Director of Genetics Services at Holstein USA and when listening to her speak about Enlight you can hear the enthusiasm in her voice. Enthusiasm for what a breeder using Enlight can do to advance their herd. As Lindsey says, the advancement can cover more than genetics. It extends to others areas including management, reproduction, health and in the future nutrition. That is a wide scope. For U.S. dairy people interested in learning the opportunities available, go to Holstein USA’s website to learn more.
Enlight Home Dashboard
One final matter that Lindsey emphasized to The Bullvine – “Enlight is a free tool for any dairy producer who is genomic testing their Holsteins through Holstein Association USA or Zoetis, using CLARIFIDE®, a genomic testing product. Enlight is web-based, and has a direct connection to the Holstein Association USA herdbook database, so all animals in Enlight must also be in the Holstein herdbook”. It should be noted that a herd’s data contained in Enlight is proprietary to the herd owner and is not shared with others.
Worden Draws on Experience
Lindsey grew up on her family’s dairy farms in New York and New Mexico, and was active in 4-H and Holstein Junior programs, including dairy judging and showing. She followed that by studying Dairy Science and Life Science Communications at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. After college, she joined Holstein Association USA. That was over eight years ago, and she has filled a number of positions of increasing responsibility at Holstein USA. Lindsey is familiar with all facets of dairying from the small breeder’s herd, to the large commercial herd, to the show scene and to the international trade in genetics. She gives major credit to her parents for giving her and her brothers the opportunity to experience life, both on and off their farms. Lindsey attends many industry events and is always eager to speak with breeders to understand their positions, their concerns and their needs, and to explain Holstein USA services.
Enlight – Animal Snap shot
Working to Shared Benefit
In short, Enlight was developed in partnership by Zoetis and Holstein USA. They saw an opportunity to combine their collective strengths for the benefit of producers. It is novel in that a private company and a breeder not-for-profit association joined forces to provide a service, and refreshing to see that providing dairy people with a complete package is central to the service.
Excellent Uptake
Lindsey reported to The Bullvine that since July (2014) there have been over 600 herds enrolled in Enlight, and those users have genomic tested over 260,000 animals in total.
U.S. dairymen can expect to hear more about Enlight in 2015 as Holstein USA, in collaboration with Zoetis, will have this service as a focal point at meetings and in communications through out this year. It is interesting to hear the many different ways Enlight users are taking advantage of genomic information in their herds. Many begin with testing a few animals and eventually work up to testing most or all of the heifers born on their farm. Dairymen are using the information to make decisions about which animals will be parents to the next generation on the farm, making sure they are keeping and propagating the best genetics in their herds, and using the lower end genetics for recipients, or culling when they have excess animals to sell.
One important part of Enlight is that it is real-time. Enlight is refreshed every night, so whenever a dairyman registers a calf, or has new genomic or genetic information available, it can be viewed in Enlight. Since the service if free and web-based, users can run the analysis of their animal as often as they wish.
Enlight – Genetic Progress Graph
Expanded Service
For dairy farmers, linking all pieces of information on their animals together is important. Sandy-Valley Farms have been using Enlight for a few months now to capture their actual and genetic information in one place, to obtain genomic information instantaneously and to download information in Excel documents. And Danae Bauer of Sandy-Valley looks forward to using Enlight even more in the future as more options and screens are added to it. (Read more : PINE-TREE MONICA PLANETA IS THE NEW GENOMIC SUPER STAR MAKER, and DANAE BAUER: CAPTURING THE PASSION)
Holstein Association USA continues to see interest in genomic testing grow each year, and with the availability of Enlight to help producers make better use of their information, and a partnership with Zoetis, that trend is only expected to continue to increase. As more breeders are exposed to how using genomic information can improve their herds, more and more will adopt the technology and find benefit in keeping track of their genetics with Enlight.
With many dairymen already using Enlight, there are many users that Holstein USA or Zoetis can direct interested producers to in order that they can hear a fellow dairy person describe the benefits as they see them. Enlight is definitely a win – win – win for producers – breed association – private service provider.
Not sure what all this hype about genomics is all about?
Want to learn what it is and what it means to your breeding program?
Download this free guide.
Why Do We Register?
The Genetic Genius of Darwin, Mendel and Hunt - Genetic Transmission and the Holstein Cow
Reality Check – Who is Really Controlling the Dairy Breeding Industry?
Categories : Genomics
Tags : CLARIFIDE, Enlight, Holstein USA, Zoetis
Genomic Testing – Are You Missing Out?
When The Bullvine mentions genomic testing to production oriented breeders, we frequently get the reaction “Oh, that’s just for herds that sell high priced animals. I focus on running a profitable milking operation. I don’t need to spend money on testing my animals.” Well, in fact, that is not an accurate assessment of the benefits available from using this tool at the present time. If you are among those not using genomics, Stop Procrastinating! It is a tool that everyone breeding their herd to improve it genetically should not be without.
Only Very Moderate Uptake – So Far
Currently, there is an 8% uptake of genomic testing of all Holstein heifer calves. The total is less in other breeds. We have barely scratched the surface. Half a century ago, official milk recording was at the same low level. Today it is recognized as a much-needed toll both on-farm and in the national herd. Obviously the question that breeders need answers to is ‘How will I benefit from genomic testing all my heifer calves?’
Known Benefits
Much has been written about benefits and opportunities available to breeders who are submitting samples for DNA testing. Those range from selecting the best mates for your females, … to parentage verification, … to how to manage your heifer herd, … to deciding which heifers to breed and which ones to cull or implant, … to polled or not polled, …to finding the genetic outlier of an individual mating, …to an aid in marketing heifers in sales.
Just recently Holstein USA and Zetas launched an exciting service called Enlight. Breeders that submit their samples to Zoetis can through Holstein USA’s website summarize and analyze their heifers for their genetic qualities. This is the first, and no doubt other breeds will establish similar services in the future. Breeding to get the genetics that work best for you and then managing them in the best way possible is definitely important.
At the industry level, genomic testing has also proven beneficial. Alta Genetics, a few years ago, working with large herds in the USA, parentage verified all young sire daughters. It was a significant step forward in accuracy of sire proofs so they could guarantee their product to their customers. Companies like Zoetis and Neogen initiated genomic testing services so they could help producers and also as complementary to their other products. A.I companies have been able to restrict their young sires sampled to only top genomically evaluated young sires, thereby saving millions for themselves by not sampling the bottom enders and millions for breeders that did not have to raise, calve in and milk the lower genetic merit daughters of the bottom end bulls. All of these benefits are leading to cost savings in the hundreds of millions of dollars.
However six years into using genomics we are only starting to reap the rewards.
Genomics Will Make the Future Brighter
Breeders often mention that they want sires to use and females in their herd that are superior to what is available today for traits that are difficult or impossible to measure. Here are some thoughts and facts that may help breeders to decide to use genomic testing so they can have animals that are even more profitable than their herd is today. It does however require that genomic testing becomes routine (Read more: Why 84% of Dairy Breeders Will Soon Be Using Genomic Sires!).
Heifers:
Investigation, at the farm level, is being done in beef heifers on growth rates, diets tailored to genotype, immunity to common diseases and age at first estrus. The results of those studies will be able to be applied to dairy heifers since little similar research is being conducted for dairy heifers. Already breeders can test for the genetically inferior heifers, so they do not need to be raised. Up to $500 per heifer in rearing cost could be saved by having the retained heifers calving by 22 months of age. Remember that it is age at first estrus that is important, for which we have very limited farm data. First breeding depends on a breeding actually occurring. With heifers genotyped and selected for first estrus significant savings will be possible.
Feed Efficiency:
Two major research projects, one in USA and The Netherlands and one in Australia and New Zealand, will identify the cows that are genetically more efficient at converting their feed to milk. Within a couple of years, we can expect to see reports relating genomic information to feed efficiency. This type of research is costly and not currently practical at the farm level, but using research herds this investigation is well underway. Reducing feed costs by 5-10% through genetic selection would result in many millions in savings. That is likely to be crucial to the dairy cattle breeding industry as dairy competes to feed a hungry world. (Read more: Feed Efficiency: The Money Saver and 15 Strength Sires That Will Still Fit In Your Stalls)
Inbreeding:
CDCB already makes available the inbreeding level of genomically tested animals based on their genomic results. No doubt further research results will provide numbers associated with inbreeding. Think about it. In the past the inbreeding level for two full sisters, based on pedigree, has been considered the same. However, by using their genomic profiles the level of inbreeding can be much more accurately known for each sister. A recent report from CDN, for the time period 2010 to 2013, shows that inbreeding rates are increasing not decreasing. Even though breeders are aware that inbreeding is a negative to future profit, they continue using fewer sire lines. More in-depth study of presence or absence of genes that negatively affect the viability of our cattle take time. Why do we always expect someone else to take responsibility for the level and rates of inbreeding? (Read more: 6 Steps to Understanding & Managing Inbreeding in Your Herd and Stop Talking About Inbreeding…)
Disease Resistance:
The list is long on diseases that breeders want their animals to be resistant to. Many research projects are underway to relate the genotype to particular types of mastitis, respiratory diseases, wasting diseases and even production limiting diseases like milk fever. CDN and Canadian milk recording agencies have been capturing field data for a number of years now on eight production limiting diseases. In time, the relationships between genetic lines and these diseases will be better-known. So that selection can be carried out to avoid problem bloodlines. When more animals are genomically tested, and bloodlines prone to diseases are identified great steps forward will be able to be made. It takes considerably more than 8% of the population genomically tested to move breeding for disease resistance to reality. (Read more: Genomics – Opportunity is Knocking)
Reproduction:
Failure to get animals to show good heats, to produce good oocytes and conceive when bred is the leading frustration on most dairy farms. The role that genetics plays in that frustration is now receiving attention by many researchers and organizations. In the past, the capturing of useful data to do genetic analysis relative to reproduction has been a significant problem. The relating of genomic results to reproduction holds out considerable hope. Early embryonic death, haplotypes that negatively impact reproduction, genetic difference between animals for cystic ovaries and many more are all areas of concern for breeders. Once again both genomic and on-farm data are needed to move forward. (Read more: 10 things dairies with great reproduction do right and Are Your Genetics Wasting Feed and Labor?)
Misconception:
I hear breeders say “Genomic indexes are just like production indexes.” However, that is not so. There are genomic indexes for production traits, conformation traits and management traits. Genomics is a dynamic science. It is best if breeders know not only the genomic values for the animals currently in their herds but also their ancestors. To build the genomic history for a herd necessitates that testing start as soon as possible. Genomics is a tool every breeder will benefit from using no matter what their selection goals are. (Read more: Better Decision Making by Using Technology and FACT VS. FANTASY: A Realistic Approach to Sire Selection)
In Another World
Outside the world of dairy cattle but totally related to DNA analysis, there is a study just under way in the United Kingdom, where 100,000 people with cancer or rare diseases are being genotyped to better understand people’s ability to avoid or resist cancer and disease. One of the terms used in the news release was that before there was DNA profiling this work would not have been possible. Relating that back to dairy cattle, if we do not have the DNA information for animals we will be limited in our ability to eliminate deleterious genes from our cattle.
Will Genomic Testing Pay?
The question for breeders appears to have been one of cost – benefit. “What will I get for the fifty dollar cost of doing a low-density test?” The fact is that, to date, milk producers have not taken the opportunity for more rapid genetic advancement by testing all their heifers. However, the tide is about to change. With new information coming out almost weekly on how the genetic (aka genomic) make-up of an animal relates to profitability, breeders without genomic information on their herd will not be in a position to know which sires to use or how to manage or feed their animals. Genomic testing needs to be viewed as an investment rather than a cost. Invest $50 shortly after birth to save hundreds over the cow’s lifetime.
Every journey requires that a first step be taken. The first step is that breeders submit samples for DNA analysis. Every breeder will benefit by knowing the genomics of their herd. No doubt the cost of testing will come down as more breeders participate. Future success in dairying will require genomic testing, just as current success depends on capturing and using performance information. Are you prepared for using genomic information to assist in creating your future success in dairying?
The Hot House Effect on Sire Sampling
Using Genomics as the Ticket to the Future
Is Type Classification Still Important?
Tags : Canadian Dairy Network, Council for Dairy Cattle Breeding, Disease Resistance, Enlight, Feed Efficiency, Genomics, Holstein USA, Inbreeding, Neogen, Reproduction, Zoetis
Does Classifying Excellent Mean Profitable? Now? In the Future?
During this past week many of my Facebook friends have been debating on whether a third generation Excellent cow with good milk production should she be used as an ET recipient or should she be bred to produce her own calf (Discussion Part 1 – Part 2). The debate started when one friend shared the picture of his Excellent cow with her latest calf – an IVF heifer from young highly rated genomically evaluated parents. Opinions weighed in from all points of view, each participant stating emphatically why their position was the one that was most correct. The majority said that, if it were their cow, they would breed her to produce her own calf. Well as I see it – that should depend on your herd’s genetic plan and how you define profitable.
Tradition Is Shifting
For quite some time, Excellent cows were few and far between. In Canada 0.2% were Excellent and in the USA it was about 1.0% Excellent. Because of scarcity, daughters from Excellent cows would bring a very good price in leading sales. Sons, if by the right sire, were often of interest to A.I. for entry into young sire proving programs. Therefore if you owned an Excellent cow you owned a revenue generator.
Forty years ago the focus in breeding was the long lived Excellent cow with good lifetime milk production. Then the focus shifted to first or second lactation high scoring (minimum VG85), high producing and high indexing cows from respected cow families. With genomic evaluations coming on the breeding scene, high genomically evaluated heifers, three to twelve months of age, are now the sought after group. This change in focus to a 65+% reliable high indexing heifers has created a divide in breeder thinking and breeding goals. (Read more: Is Type Classification Still Important? And Is Good Plus Good Enough?)
Today some breeders long for a return to the days when Excellent or 1st prize at a major show was all you needed to know about a cow. Other breeders are uncertain as to what they should be breeding for. Others simply state that they want cows that are less prone to being culled than in the past. Others have incorporated production and type genomic evaluations into their breeding programs. And still others are thinking in terms of using total selection indexes that put significant emphasis on health, immunity, fertility, labor efficiency and feed efficiency. (Read more: The Truth About Type and Longevity and RF Goldwyn Hailey: Cash Cow or Cash Hog?)
The fact is that we now live in a new era for dairy cattle breeding.
Let’s look at some 2014 realities for Holstein breeders that did not exist in 2000:
Producers are in need of ways to reduce feed costs. Feed is the #1 on-farm cost at 50-60%. Making better use of the rumen to process forages is in vogue. (Read more: 50 Sires that will Produce Feed Efficient Cows)
Producers are looking for ways to automate. The cost of labor, the number two on-farm cost, has increased greatly. Breeder want cows that work well with machines and which require minimal extra hands on care.(Read more: Does Your Breeding Program Save You Labor?)
Many herds are not rearing as many or any heifers at all. The cost of rearig herd replacements is the third highest on-farm expense (Read more: Should you be raising your own heifers?). In 2014 it costs more to raise an average replacement heifer ($2200) than she will bring at a sale after she calves ($1800).
For the majority of producers, reproduction and lameness are now two of the most prevalent herd problems (Read more: Cow Mobility: One Step Forward or Two Steps Back? And FACT VS. FANTASY: A Realistic Approach to Sire Selection). Udders and production, once limiting factors in Holsteins, have been improved significantly.
The sex of a calf can be planned. Sexed semen can now be 95% accurate and soon will be almost as fertile as regular semen. Studies show that two heifer calves to start a cow’s productive life means 1000 lbs more milk (Read more: Sexed Semen from Cool Technology to Smart Business Decision and SEXED SEMEN – At Your Service!).
In 2014 $5,000 is a top animal price except for high gTPI, Net Merit or gLPI heifers or for exceptional show animals. (Read more: An Insider’s Guide to What Sells at the Big Dairy Cattle Auctions 2013 and Is There Still Going To Be A Market For Purebred Dairy Cattle In 10 Years?)
Producers are well aware that large cows cost more to grow and maintain and do not function as well in group environments as medium sized cows do (Read more: Does Size Matter?).
Foreign buyers are not flocking to North America to buy heifers. Animal transport costs are high and health testing is costly and restrictive. Only embryos from the top animals routinely bring the top dollars ($1000 to $4,000).
There is no going back to former times!
Type and also milk production will receive less attention in the breeding of dairy cows in the future because breeders have already made significant progress for those traits. Specific proteins, fats and solids in milk will be what consumers want in the milk products that they include in their diets. Producers will breed for a herd of cows that return the most profit (Read more: She Ain’t Pretty – She Just Milks That Way). And yes, cows will be polled (Read more: From the Sidelines to the Headlines, Polled is Going Mainline!, Polled Dairy Genetics: The Cold Hard Facts and The 24 Polled Bulls Every Breeder Should Be Using To Accelerate the Genetic Gain in Their Herd). Excellent cows will not be a singular focus. Perhaps I should qualify that statement. The Excellent cows of the past will not be sought after. It could well be that breeders will redefine what is required for a cow to be classified as Excellent.
Dr. Paul VanRaden, USDA-AIPL, has laid out the challenge for breeders in the future. He identified that today the best animal has a Net Merit of $1009 but knowing what we currently know about the genome, the best animal could have a Net Merit of $7515. (Read more: The Genetic “SUPER COW” – Myth vs Reality)
Technological advancements make breeding more profitable Holsteins a reality for future breeders. Conformational correctness will be only a fraction of what we need to know about a cow relative to profitability. For the breeder of the cow in the Facebook discussion, profitability included milk in the tank while producing a calf of high genetic worth. Excellent did not matter. We cannot ignore the realities relative to consumer demands, business management and genetic improvement. If we ignore them, we do so at our own peril.
The Truth About Type and Longevity
VIEUX SAULE ALLEN DRAGONFLY: 2013 Canadian Cow of the Year Nominee
GEN-I-BEQ SHOTTLE BOMBI: 2013 Canadian Cow of the Year Nominee
Categories : Dairy Cattle Classification
Tags : Dairy Breeder Profitability, Dairy Cattle Classification, Holstein Canada, Holstein USA
Holstein USA vs CDCB: The battle for control
Recently there has been a lot of discussion about the future of the dairy breeding industry. New technology, new information and new organizations are entering the industry at record rates. The problem is that along with all the changes there is also concern about who is leading these changes and protecting the interests of the average breeder. One of the ongoing battles is the one surrounding the production and publication of US genetic evaluations. The recent development of the Council for Dairy Cattle Breeding (CDCB) has sparked a war between CDCB and Holstein USA over access to information. Both sides are threatening to take their toys and go home.
”He who controls the information controls the world.”
Is anyone even considering the answer to the question, “Who does the information belong to?” As we wrote back in March of 2012 the conflict is over who will have control of the information. (Read more: Council on Dairy Cattle Breeding: Land of the Free and Home of the Brave?) Now more than 2 years later this battle is coming to a head. Rumors suggest that Holstein USA is threatening that they won’t share type data with CDCB/USDA because they are not in support of positions and actions being taken at CDCB and are even considering producing their own genetic evaluations for production in addition to the evaluations they currently do for type. Now let’s be clear. Up until this point Holstein USA has cooperated fully in the exchange of data. However, they have been very upfront about their concerns regarding material licensing agreements (MLAs) and the usage of Holstein data.
When you consider that larger and larger corporations have now started to enter into the dairy genetics marketplace, whoever has access to the information will have the power. If these new players get instant free access to this information, what does that mean to breeders? I would guess that it would not be positive to seed stock producers or to those who market and sell dairy cattle genetics that has already seen significant decline in their animal values.(Read more: An Insider’s Guide to What Sells at the Big Dairy Cattle Auctions 2013, Who Killed The Market For Good Dairy Cattle? and Is There Still Going To Be A Market For Purebred Dairy Cattle In 10 Years?) You see the big nasty label should not be applied to the AI companies but rather to multinational supply companies. That is the enemy I think the large AI companies are most threatened by. Not the smaller AI organizations taking market share but rather these significantly larger corporations that have the resources to squash the large AI companies like a bug.
Imperfect Track Record
Now let’s say that USDA’s recent track record leaves some questions in many breeders’ minds. Their decision to restrict breeders’ rights to genomic test their own bulls for a period of time certainly raised the ire of many. Now the heated debate includes the formation of CDCB comprised of Breeds, DHI and AI (each with 3 seats on the board). There doesn’t appear to be any apparent savings and no intention to reduce the USDA budget as a result of this decision. And with the makeup of the board, it is felt that it is controlled by NAAB and the large AI organizations.
Once again this has me asking who exactly controls the information.
Holstein USA has been very vocal about stating that they have their members’ best interests at heart. I respect that. However I also see the other viewpoint that points out that this is the same information that members have paid for and yet they don’t get free access to it as in other countries. Moreover, the limited amount of information that they do get access to comes with additional charges. In the US is costs $8US to register a calf, in Canada it costs $9 CDN to register a calf. Considering the exchange values these are about the same expense. Though in Canada all information is then made publicly available to all. In the US everyone has to pay an additional $3US per animal in order to get that information. So does Holstein USA really have their members interests at heart? Or are they driven by their own survival and pocket book? This is why the relevance of breed associations and programs like type classification are becoming key issues for many breeders. (Read more: What is the Role of a Dairy Cattle Breed Association? and She Ain’t Pretty – She Just Milks That Way!)
Am I saying that I am in full support of CDCB’s actions? No. It seems to be heavily weighted against breeders and towards the interest of the larger AI companies. I am most concerned that breeders have access to information. As more and more AI companies get into owning females and developing of their own bloodlines, the very livelihood of seed stock producers is threatened (Read more: Should A.I. Companies Own Females?, Why Good Business for AI Companies Can Mean Bad Business For Dairy Breeders, and What the Experts Won’t Tell You about the Future of the A.I. Industry). So I understand why Holstein USA should be concerned. The majority of the membership, and especially those at the board level, is made up of these very seed stock producers. So if they were truly concerned about these breeders, why don’t them allow them access to all the information? It’s not about control. It’s about breeders’ success. Nobody wins if infighting prevents progress.
Genetic Evaluations - August 2012
Categories : Genetic Evaluation System
Tags : Council for Dairy Cattle Breeding, Genetic Evaluations, Holstein USA
What is the Role of a Dairy Cattle Breed Association?
Recently I took the opportunity to review the Canadian Breed Strategy presented by Holstein Canada. (Read more: Holstein Canada Breed Strategy, The Bullvine Feedback) I started to ask myself, “What, exactly, is the role of a modern dairy cattle breed association?”
First of all let’s get one thing clear. I have the Holstein Canada logo tattooed on my chest. That was a decision that I made as a young adult in order to display my passion for two of the greatest things in the world, Holstein cattle and Canada. So for me to take a critical look at this is something I do with passion. The perspectives that motivate me result from personally observing both the producer side as well as the association side. My father was head of type classification and genetic improvement at Holstein Canada for 18 years. That background motivates my review which essentially boils down to one question. “Are breed associations still relevant?”
Now let’s be realistic, the role of the Holstein breed associations is much different than that of the colored breed associations. Holsteins represent 92% of the dairy cattle in North America. So for the colored breeds focus is driven by the need for awareness and preservation. What is the focus of the Holstein breed associations?
Politics vs. Corporation
For me this question really begins with the fact of how you look at breed associations? Are they similar to a government entity and therefore they are to represent the best interests of their members and function mainly in a political role? Or are they to function similar to a corporation and work at growing the profitability of the association and its members? For me, I would answer that it’s a little bit a both.
It`s time now to consider the elephant that is hiding in the corner of the room. In North America approximately 22% of all Holstein cattle are registered with either Holstein USA or Holstein Canada. That means that the large majority (78%) of the Holstein cattle in North America are not registered with either breed association. When such a large majority is not seeing the value in registration and the association programs, I have to ask, “Are Holstein associations relevant to the majority of today’s dairy producers?”
On a personal level, I see great value in purebred dairy cattle, registrations, type classification, and the many other programs. But obviously the fact that almost 78% of the Holstein Cattle in North America are not registered tells me that the large majority do not see the value. Why is that?
When I ask that of many the commercial producers that I chat with the answer often boils down to one comment. “I don’t see the value in the investment.” Most of the time this position is held by commercial producers that run their operations more like a corporation, rather than passion for a specific breed or way of life. While many are larger operations, I get the same answer from both large and small.
Technology has changed the world
In the 1980s the value of a purebred heifer of fresh cow was far greater than that of a grade. But in today’s marketplace, the difference in prices does not warrant the need for registration. Also reducing the pressure for registrations is the fact that computerized record keeping has evolved to a state that the records available on-farm are as complete as those available from the breed associations. This has further reduced breeder’s perception of the value of registration.
So then it comes down to the other programs that breed associations provide. The largest of them has to be type classification. Now let’s be clear I am a HUGE fan of type classification. But more and more I hear producers wondering if it is really worth it. (Read more: Is type classification still important?) They cite things like the use of genomics as a reason that they no longer need to type classify. Well as we all know Genomics is not a perfect (Read more: The Genomic Bubble Has Burst?, Genomics – Lies, Miss-Truths and False Publications! and How Genomics is Killing the Dairy Cattle Breeding Industry), but it is a great tool. However, in order to improve its accuracy, the breed still requires the phenotypic data from programs like type classification and milk recording.
While we are talking about technology, why can’t we use more of this on-farm information for genetic evaluations? Sure I have heard the concerns about accuracy of data, and the ethics of allowing producers to record their own data. But who said that this data had to be used for female genetic evaluations? Why can’t we include this large data set in bull genetic evaluations, so that we can greatly increase the accuracy of sire proofs? We could even develop more management based genetic evaluations that connect more directly to the bottom line?
Who Cares About Index?
From many of the most passionate breeders in the world, I hear “mixed” comments about the index systems, like TPI, LPI, etc. (Please note that TPI is a trademark of Holstein USA) Yet breed associations continue to focus on this as a major issue. While there is no doubt that having a national index has done wonders for marketing and genetic advancement. In reality every breeder should have their own index. The best index is the one that the works hand in hand with specific management goals. Having one National Index isn’t working. First of all we are in a global marketplace. Secondly, we need at least have three difference indexes. One that represents the needs of the seed stock producer (similar to TPI or LPI). One that represents the needs of the commercial producer (similar to NM$). Finally one that works for those breeding for the show ring (similar to CONF or PTAT). Only then will you start to settle this debate.
As long as we continue to try to promote one “unified” national index, it will continue to be seen as nothing more than a marketing tool. If you really want to have a tool that is for breed advancement and not for marketing, you need to understand that every breeder’s needs are different. And when you start to look at things from the different perspectives of all producers, and try to represent and respect each one of their individual needs, you will start to see the greatest advancement in the breed.
Really the breed strategy must come down to, “How do you make me more profitable?” All other issues are secondary to that. For years I have heard “Well a higher classified cow will last longer in your herd and produce more milk over their lifetime.” Well I am sorry to tell you that the data does not always support that conclusion. What if the cow has reproduction issues? What if they don’t milk very hard? All of these challenges to profitability also greatly reduce their productive life, yet they are not factored into most of the programs that breed associations currently offer. If you really want to get a larger share of the national herd pie, you need to show the average producer the measurable effect that registered animals and the associated programs have on their bottom line. All other issues are just smoke and mirrors that many of the politicians (Breed association board members) spend far too much time focusing on. I want my breed association to “Show me the money!”
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Categories : Dairy Industry
Tags : Dairy Cattle Breed Associations, Genomics, Holstein Canada, Holstein USA, LPI, TPI, Type Classification
As long as there have been organized herd books (about one and a half centuries) there has been the question of why breeders should register their purebred animals in them. The reasons as to ‘why register’ had undergone many changes and we can expect the reasons to continue to change over time.
The first herd books were in Europe and were local or regional in nature. One breeder took on the job of recording the births based on the details supplied by his fellow breeders. Documentation was provided listing the birth, parents and a description of the animal. As the systems became more organized registration numbers were allocated. Since the proportion of the cows that were registered was small compared to the unregistered and because the animals that were registered were selected they commanded a premium price. Grade breeders wanting to garner some of the increased price would purchase a registered bull for use on their grade cows. Quite often a breeder would own a bull that his neighbours could use for a fee. Cattle were on display or exhibited at local fairs and class winners or their offspring brought a premium price.
Cattle to America
The initial animals brought to America were multi-purpose – draught, beef and milk. Their value to their owners were likely in that order of importance. The Dual Purpose Shorthorns was common and popular in the later part of the 19th Century. From about 1875 onwards breeds maintained in Europe primarily for milk production purposes were imported into North America. Again regional herd books sprung up and dairy cattle registration mirrored the systems in Europe. Purity and in Holsteins color or color pattern were key to eligibility for registry.
Improvement Introduced
Early in the 20th Century groups to measure milk production were started. In Canada in 1905 selected cows were measured for the pounds of butterfat that they could produce in a seven day period. That added value to the sons and daughters of top cows and bulls. This was followed by recording for an entire lactation using DHI clubs and DHIR (Breed recognized) in the USA and ROP in Canada. And it moved, over time, from selected animals to all cows in a herd being milk and fat recorded. The cows on these yield improvement programs were required to be registered in the herd book, which by this time had become national in scope. There was real financial value in terms of performance and animal sales from having registered cattle even though it required record keeping and verification by a third party authority.
In the 1920’s North American breeders with foresight saw the need to add longevity to their dairy cattle and they started conformation evaluation programs for registered animals. Animals with high conformation scores, authenticated by approved evaluators, commanded higher prices.
For history buffs there are numerous books (Read more: HALTER, PEN and GAVEL. That’s Just the Norm, Edward Young Morwick – Country Roads to Law Office and “The Dairy Queen” has All the Answers!) that document advancements and the spread of purebred registered animals from the late 19th to the start of the 21st Century.
What is Purity?
Mainly because of the use of A. I. which required that the bulls standing in stud be registered and their ancestors performance tested, the entire population of dairy cattle improved for their productive ability. It got to the stage where many unregistered animals were capable of matching or even exceeding the performance of some of the average or lower end registered cattle. For registered cattle to maintain their value breeders were put in the position to accept entry into the herd book of animals originating from unregistered background. They could be entered into the herd book provided proof could be shown for the use of registered sires in their pedigree. This increased the proportion of the total dairy cattle population that were registered. These new entries into the herd book came from breeders that were using milk recording. This put in place a three tier value system. The top was high quality registered performance tested purebreds followed, in order, by graded-up cattle with performance records and then by registered purebreds that were not performance tested. The mould was broken. Simple registration of lineage no longer always meant a premium. Some breeders fought the move to include graded-up animals but in the end they were included. So it became not just registry but also performance that set an animal’s value.
Dairy Cattle Move Global
For about sixty years following WW II, dairy cattle moved first from Europe and North America and then Oceania to all regions of the globe. First bulls and then heifers moved and were used as the basis for establishing dairy cattle farming in their new homes. However the biggest change in these countries came through the use of high quality A.I. proven sires. All these moves re-enforced the value of registered and recorded animals. Breeders in the countries of origin benefited because they had invested in registration, milk recording and type classification. As the 20th Century closed and the cost of transporting animals increased the sale of embryos began to replace live female sales.
The Pace Quickens
Nothing lasts for ever. Starting around the turn to the 21st century and with some outbreaks of animal diseases and the move for increased food safety, disease testing became necessary and so all animals had to be permanently identified and their movement tracked. State and national data bases became necessary for all dairy animals. In Canada the purebred registry societies saw the light and expanded their databases (herd books) to include all dairy animals. Every country has or is now establishing identification and animal tracking systems. It is not a “maybe” any longer. Farms producing milk must guarantee the health of the animals producing it. Registering animals which started as optional and a way to garner more income (cattle sales) from a dairy farm is or will soon be the law everywhere.
Time Waits for No One
So far in the 21st Century two advancements have changed the scene in a major way for the value of registration. First there was sexed semen, leading to more heifers being available. Then in 2008 genomic testing arrived. The combination of these two technologies resulted in a lowering of the premium for good quality registered recorded animals. Young full pedigreed above average conformation cows worth $4,000 to $10,000 a decade ago are now only $200 to $500 over replacement milk cow values. There is still a premium for registered and recorded females but not a farm revenue center like it once was. Only elite genomically evaluated animals garner a large premium. But it does not stop there. Accurate evaluation (genomics) of the genetic merit of young animals has placed the premium on young superior animals at the expense of milking females.
None of us can exactly predict the future for the registered recorded evaluated dairy cattle populations. We can expect the pace of change to increase. Consumers’ needs (high quality safe food) and demands (polled) will expand (Read more: MILK MARKETING: How “Got Milk?” BECAME “Got Lost” and Why the Future of the North American Dairy Industry Depends On Supply And Demand and “Got Milk” is becoming “Got More”). More and more information on the genetic make-up of animals will become available using DNA analysis. IVF will move from being only available at specialized centers to a service available on-farm. Automation and computers will be universally used. Data services will be web based covering all aspects of dairy farming.
And those items only cover what we currently know and not what will come as a result of both research and development in genetics, reproduction, health, nutrition and management. Can you see the day when cows will be monitored and recorded 24-7 and the results stored on the information ‘cloud”? Definitely every farm will need a breeding plan (Read more: What’s the plan?, Flukes and Pukes – What Happens When You Don’t Have a Plan and Are you a hobby farmer or a dairy business?). We live in exciting times.
A century ago registration was new and novel. Today registration is a vital first step in the information gathering process. For progressive breeders registration will continue to be an investment opportunity and not a cost.
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Categories : Management
Tags : Dairy Cattle Registration, Dairy Herd Improvement, Holstein Canada, Holstein USA, Jersey Canada, Jersey USA
CHUCK WORDEN: For this Holstein President Dairy Focus Thrives Best on Diversity and Uniqueness
No two dairy breeders are exactly the same. They should not be stereotyped as one group but rather considered as a whole that when brought together is better than the sum of its parts.
This is direction we are pointed toward upon getting to know the thoughts of Holstein USA President Chuck Worden. Chuck is descended from a diverse dairy background himself and encourages others, including his three sons, to develop their own unique dairy philosophy. “My start in dairy cattle came through my family farm, Glen Cove Farm. My father and uncle took over their farm from their father. They had both Holsteins and beef, Scotch Shorthorns. In genetics they had more success in the beef than dairy. Today all of my three brothers also have dairies and all of my three sons have returned to our dairy.” The pride in family, uniqueness and diversity rings through every word.
Chuck and his wife, Vanessa
(Picture taken at his son Wayne’s wedding this past weekend)
“It’s a love of genetics that keeps all of our family in cattle.”
Chuck and his wife, Vanessa, point with pride to the dairy passion of their family. “Without question the biggest success story of Wormont Dairy is the interest of the next generation. All four of our children have a great passion for genetics and fine cattle. We are most proud of this.”
Wayne, Eric, Vanessa, Kate, Mark and Chuck Worden
Chuck also points back to his own father for inspiring his love of cattle. “My father’s love for cattle genetics spanned both Holstein and Scotch Shorthorns, although most of his success was in beef cattle, having bred many All Americans. At one point he had both the International Supreme Champion (1961) and the World record Shorthorn bull at $36,000 on our farm at one time. He also served on the American Shorthorn board and was voted “builder of the breed”.
A terrific role model for future generations of Wordens.”
Wormont Dairy: Growing and Moving
Whether it’s in New Mexico or New York, Wormont Dairy has always kept their herd evolving with the market. “Currently we’ve got 275 cows, both Holstein and Jersey, all registered. We’ve relocated several times from 60 cow tie stall in the 80’s and 90’s in New York to New Mexico where we had up to 1400 cows on a dry lot and back to New York where we are currently located.” He sums up the successes of their program. “Many families, both bred and purchased, have made useable females for us to breed from. As we’re working into genomics and marketing from them we’re finding surprises as we continue to test females. While in New Mexico a young Outside son of Regancrest Jolt Diantha was used. I loved the calves and bought 700 more doses of him. While at Madison, I bought a pick out of Diantha and chose Outside as the sire. I ended up getting a daughter from this mating. Today Destiny stands at Ex-93 and is our favorite cow.” Looking back Chuck singles out Wormont Blackstar Dorian-ET. “She was our best cow in the 1990’s. She sold 16 sons into AI and spearheaded a family that put over 100 bulls into AI over a ten year time span.”
Solo Outside Destiny-ET EX-93 2E 93-MS
Dam: REGANCREST JOLT DIANTHA-ET VG-87 GMD DOM
“Stay focused on your goal!”
Focus is a recurring theme of this dedicated President and Holstein breeder. “Whether you are in love with the showing or breeding for high genomics, you must stay focused on your goal. Many young breeders that I visit with will jump back and forth and never reach their goals because they lose their focus.” He supports his viewpoint with perspective gained working with the Holstein Association. “The biggest challenge we face as dairyman in the US is profitability. In tough times we’ve had to make many compromises on our dairies. One area we’ve tried not to compromise on is genetics when buying semen. With our breed association the biggest challenge will always be doing what’s right for members and the Holstein cow. There is no compromise that would take the breeding decision away from the breeders.”
Chuck explains how they walk the talk at Wormont Holsteins. “Our breeding philosophy focuses on genomics as we strive to get back into a market based breeding program for diversity in income. Over 30 young high genomic sires are always on hand based on GTPI TM and uniqueness of pedigree. We’re not on any AI exclusive list so we get new bulls as they’re available like most everyone else.” The Wormonts keep up with the changing times in their approach to marketing as well. “Although we’re in the building stages of our genomics marketing program, we use Facebook and our website, wormontdairy.com. Lindsey, our daughter, does our website and other marketing initiatives.”
Wormont Shottle Percell VG-87 87-MS
GTPI +2108 PL +5.4 DPR +2.7
Proud of People and Opportunities
Chuck Worden speaks glowingly of the experiences he has had as President of Holstein Association USA Inc. and points to the people especially. “I am humbled by the many great breeders that I served on the HAUSA board with and now call them and their families our friends. Two that stand out for their focus and resolve are Marvin Nunes of Ocean View and Bill Peck of Welcome, both headed our Genetic Advancement Committee and help influence the direction of our breed. The initiatives put forth by our CEO John Meyer when he was first hired stand out to me. He started “Complete,” our whole program that has led to increased use of many of our core programs. His Management by Objective, MBO, way of measuring success has given HAUSA about ten years of outstanding bottom line success while saving our members money on the services they use. It also allowed the board and staff a chance to see the success as it was accomplished.” Speaking of services he goes on. “Field services have never been free, but all data collectors, DHIA, DRPCs and breed associations have always operated at very conservative margins. The way they charge for services rendered has and probably will change a great deal as more and more marketing is done off of genomic predictions. All allied industry partners will work together to fund research.”
Chuck is very proud to represent Holstein USA. Seen here with 2011 Distinguished Leadership Award Recipients Judy and Charles Iager as well as Holstein USA CEO John M. Meyer
Ready to Face Challenges too!
With his commitment to American dairy breeding, Chuck doesn’t downplay the very real issues they face. “The biggest challenge that I’ve ever focused on any board has been the work done on transfer of the service work on genetic evaluations and genomic predictions from USDA to the dairy industry.” He feels quite strongly about what is needed. “This is not something we can afford to take lightly. It means protecting the integrity and preserving the “Gold Standard of the World” GTPI.”
Years of experience have given Chuck Worden a reasoned perspective on change. “The breeding industry is a constantly swinging pendulum. It‘s easy to get depressed when you feel like the breed has gone too far in one direction. I do believe the rapid rise in genomic bulls has slowed. Many great breeders I’ve witnessed don’t let the pendulum control their breeding program. They do make adjustment to their breeding programs to fit their marketing strategies, focus on your goals, not the popular bull of the month.”
“The challenge to any president is to do the best job of representing our members and our association.”
Although Chuck has spent a lot more of his “extra” time as Holstein President flying than pursuing his hobby of fishing, he is proud of the association he represents “The North American gene pool is the greatest, most in demand in the world. It’s up to our breed associations to maintain the credibility of our breed by maintaining an unbiased, accurate data collector and genetic predictor. I think we’re done a fabulous job of that.”
No doubt family, friends and fellow dairy breeders count themselves lucky to be associated with the commitment, leadership and dedication of Chuck Worden. There is also no doubt that he feels he has benefitted most. “I’ve got a great deal of respect for the many breeders and industry leaders I’ve gotten to know and work with over the last 15 years. What makes the registered Holstein industry special is the uniqueness and diversity of our breeders. I personally realize that getting involved is worth it. I’ve gained far more than I could ever have imagined. Our involvement does make a difference!” To Chuck Worden, The Bullvine joins our readers in acknowledging your fine focus toward pulling uniqueness and diversity together for the benefit of the members of Holstein Association of America and say, “Thank you!”
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Categories : Breeder Profiles
Tags : Bill Peck, Chuck Worden, Holstein USA, John Meyer, Marvin Nunes, Regancrest Jolt Diantha, Solo Outside Destiny, Wormont Blackstar Dorian, Wormont Dairy, Wormont Shottle Percell
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Five Reasons You Need A Flynn Rider In Your Life
Thursday, January 15, 2015 / Jaime / 5 comments
Last week I recounted various reasons why I love Rapunzel from Tangled and why everybody needs to have a Rapunzel-like person in their life.
However, the Tangled story would not be complete without a certain thief along for the adventure... Yes, that’s right: I’m talking about Flynn Rider (or if you prefer, Eugene Fitzherbert).
Now this charming fugitive brings a completely different perspective to the world than Rapunzel’s upbeat, optimistic dreamy-ness. He’s less stuck in a tower (head in the clouds) and more running for his life (down-to-earth). This gives him a different character to balance her character out.
Which is what brings me to this: I think you—yes, you—need a Flynn Rider in your life. Why, you ask? Well I have a few reasons…
Reason #1: He’s honest.
Now I know you’re thinking: honest, really? You are talking about the guy who lies about his name from introduction and also happens to be the kingdom of Corona’s biggest fugitive. And he’s honest?
Yes. I think he is honest. At least to a point.
You see, when Flynn Rider—not Eugene Fitzherbert—comes on the scene, he knows what he wants. He’s honest about what drives him (riches) and what he wants to accomplish. From the start, we know he wants the crown because it’s worth something, because he steals it from the people helping him steal it, because he agrees to do anything to get it back (even if that means taking a strange girl with a lot of hair to see floating lanterns).
He’s honest to himself. He knows what he wants—“an island that I own, tanned, rested, and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of money”—and he’s not afraid to let people know.
Later, we see his honesty growing the more time he spends with Rapunzel. His interactions with Maximus and Pascal, as well as the people of Corona show glimpses of his true character—and his honesty.
He buys Rapunzel the sun flag (which ultimately helps her realize who she is); he throws Maximus the bag of apples and states he bought them. Most of them. Even in that little moment—though it was probably meant as more humor than anything else—he’s being honest about how he got the apples.
Reason #2: He’s real.
Aside from the fact that the animating team had a “hot man meeting” to create Flynn Rider (aka he’s the perfect man), Flynn Rider comes across very real. Along with the honesty thing, his actions speak truth.
From his sarcasm to his reactions to certain happenings—"frying pans, who knew right?"—he comes across very believable. It not only provides us with laughs and swoon-worthy fangirl feels, but Flynn Rider is something to be admired for his boldness.
He doesn’t seem to care much for what other people think about him (except when they just can’t get his nose right!). He says he can’t sing because he doesn’t want to, not because he can’t sing (which by the way, as he falls in love with Rapunzel, he voluntarily sings, no sword points to pressure him). He has many layers to his character.
One on hand, he’s the charming thief that climbs a tower to hide. This side of Flynn knows he can swoon any maiden in the land with that smolder (well, any maiden except Rapunzel apparently) and get away with any heist. On the hidden side, he’s just a poor orphan boy that wants to be a hero and be known, be loved, be accepted. He isn’t painted black and white like Rapunzel. He’s been in the real world his whole life and his “paints” have blended together.
Everybody, whether we admit it or not, has a hidden side. A side we aren’t sure we want to reveal to the world because of rejection. Flynn Rider is like that; it makes him real.
Reason #3: He’s a realist.
Rapunzel is the dreamer of all dreamers. Her head is always in the clouds, whether because of sitting atop a tower or drifting away with floating lanterns. But Flynn isn’t. At least not entirely.
Oh, he has dreams like everybody else. (No really! Just much less touchy-feely) I did mention the island and the piles of money. He thinks he knows what he wants at least. He has goals—steal the crown from the castle, steal the crown from my friends, run away, oh and hide in a tower! He also wants a castle.
But he knows he can’t just snap his fingers and wish the dreams to come true. He doesn’t have a genie in a lamp to help him along. He’s a realist; he’s down-to-earth.
Because of his upbringing, an orphan, he’s seen the real world. And that has made him learn that dreams don’t just come true because your heart wishes it. He knows there are obstacles and things he has to overcome or dodge or run away from in order to get what he wants. However, he doesn’t necessarily let that stop him; he still chases his dreams.
Plus, he knows that his true dream—to be like Flynnigan Rider, a swashbuckling hero with money to help people—is a bit of a stretch. So he settles with what he can attain: money and possibly privacy. Anybody can have a dream, but not everybody is as far-fetched as Rapunzel with their dreams. Most of the world is like Flynn: they dream but that’s all it is to them.
This grounds a person; it makes them see the world as it is—maybe not with men with pointy teeth but a place that takes hard work and time to accomplish something worthwhile. And a person like that is perfect to match up with a dreamer like Rapunzel. Otherwise that dreamer might float away and come crashing down hard.
Reason #4: He has integrity.
I know, I know. I already used the h-word, and now I’m going to point at a known fugitive and declare he has integrity? Yes. Yes, I am.
You could argue integrity is a lot like honesty, which is true, but in Flynn Rider’s case it means much more.
Flynn knows he’s charming, he knows he’s good looking, and he knows he’s smart. He thinks he can get out of any situation with a quick smolder and a raise of his eyebrows. And if that doesn’t work, he thinks of something else pretty quickly (case in point: his encounter with Rapunzel). He knows he can manipulate people easily.
But when it comes to something he cares about—someone he cares about—his integrity shines through. After getting to know Rapunzel, he would never use his charms on her. Instead, his actions show his care for her. He spends the day in the city making her happy, he buys her a flag and a lantern of her own, and he pushes away thoughts of the crown to focus on her. And when the moment he comes, he decides to give up the crown to set things right.
Last, his integrity is shown when he is arrested and can only think of Rapunzel. He walks to his deathbed and he fights the guards to talk to the Stabbington Brothers about her, not to attempt escape. He tries to reconcile with Maximus since the horse came to help save him, and he even does what he thinks is best for Rapunzel even if that means he dies.
He may be charming and seem conceited, but as I stated before, there’s more than one side to a person like Flynn Rider: and his other side—that orphan boy dreaming about becoming a hero—has integrity, just like any true hero would.
Reason #5: He can change.
The most important aspect of Flynn Rider’s character is his ability to change. Yes, he’s quick thinking and when one idea of his fails, he can strategize his way out of the situation in another way. But I’m talking about the big stuff he changes.
He’s originally a thief with nothing but eyes and a heart for money. He has charm and good looks, but he comes across conceited and flaky—and well, as funny and drool-worthy as he, not very likeable at first. Even his partners in crime, the Stabbington brother, hate his shenanigans ever before he robs them of the crown.
But he doesn’t stay the manipulating thief. He changes. Suddenly he’s tied to a chair (with hair) and encountering a girl who turns his world upside-down. How could he not change? (well—Mother Gothel never changed, so it’s possible).
When Flynn and Rapunzel get stuck in a cave that’s quickly filling with water, the true side of Flynn Rider is revealed. He’s Eugene Fitzherbert. He opens up because this is his last moment to clean his slate and maybe give something back to the girl who just helped save his life from being captured by guards (and a crazy horse) or beat up by the Stabbington brothers.
From that point on, there’s a lot of changes in Flynn. He’s still got his streak of charms and quick thinking, but he also appears more grateful and thoughtful of others. He helps get firewood, he spends the day with Rapunzel, he even doesn’t get in a fight with Maximus (at least right away). Much later, he changes heart and his dreams because of Rapunzel.
The Flynn Rider we meet at the beginning of the movie would never have given up his life for a strange girl locked in a tower. His perspective is shifted because of Rapunzel; and his actions follow along with it. Suddenly, he can’t imagine a world without this crazy, optimistic, bright-eyed girl. So he does what he can: he saves her and risks his life.
This kind of change fuels the rest of Flynn Rider’s Eugene Fitzherbert’s character for the rest of the film and his future with Rapunzel. No way would the kingdoms greatest fugitive be allowed to step near the castle, except that he changed. He gave up “thieving and basically, turned it all around” (sort of). And while his charm is still scene in the last few moments of the movie, it shows that changes can still retain the better aspects of a person.
Flynn Rider has easily become one of my favorite animated characters and is a main reason why I love Tangled (and he's voiced by one of my favorite actors, Zachary Levi). Since I’m a big dreamer and Rapunzel to many people, I find it necessary for myself to find my own versions of Flynn Rider to ground me to reality.
What about you? Are you Flynn Rider to someone, grounding them in their daydreams? Or are you in need of a Flynn Rider-esque friend to make sure you don’t float away?
-Jaime
Disney, Eugene Fitzherbert, Flynn Rider, Jaime Heller, Tangled
Olivia Smit January 15, 2015 at 4:46 PM
I want a Flynn Rider after reading this post.
...I mean, I did before, but now I *really* do. :p I'm not quite as head-in-the-clouds as Rapunzel, but I'd like to think I lean more towards the dreamy side of things, so I guess that means you can sign me up for a Flynn friend?? (preferably without the smoulder.)
Jaime January 16, 2015 at 10:51 AM
Hahahahaha! I think I've always wanted (and need) a Flynn Rider too.
Thanks for reading. :)
Lizzy January 16, 2015 at 10:17 PM
I'd like to say I'm as sensible, good looking and smart as Flynn Rider, but I'm honestly a bit of an air head, and unpredictable. I probably need a Flynn Rider to keep me grounded and to make me think before I do something stupid. And preferable just as good looking... Did I say that out loud? XD
Jaime January 17, 2015 at 7:18 AM
Oh, I'm with you on that one. Sometimes I think I'm being sensible until I realize I've been distracted by something shiny and dreamy (books, movies, places, etc.).
Annnnd of course, who can resist the smolder? xD
Guys, I want Flynn Rider.
Just when I thought I was starting to get over my crush on him, your charming post brought it crashing back. I'm definitely more a Rapunzel type, and I always joke that my future husband has to be like Flynn/Eugene. A girl can dream right? ;)
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Henderson teen being tried as adult in incest case
HENDERSON - A Henderson teen accused of incest is being tried as an adult.
Henderson teen being tried as adult in incest case HENDERSON - A Henderson teen accused of incest is being tried as an adult. Check out this story on thegleaner.com: https://www.thegleaner.com/story/news/2018/08/23/henderson-teen-being-tried-adult-incest-case/1072960002/
Beth Smith, Henderson Gleaner Published 12:42 p.m. CT Aug. 23, 2018
Filie Illustration Image - Crime(Photo: scanrail, Getty Images/iStockphoto)
In addition to incest, Dominic Burgess, 17, has been indicted by a Henderson County grand jury on a charge of first-degree rape.
Burgess was arraigned in Henderson Circuit Court on Aug. 14.
The next court date connected to this case is slated for Aug. 27.
Henderson police charged Burgess on June 9 after an investigation which started when the victim confided to a friend about the alleged abuse. The friend then told a trusted adult who in turn called the police, officials said.
The alleged abuse had reportedly been ongoing for several years, according to investigators.
HPD Detective Jake Isonhood said the victim is a minor to whom Burgess had regular access.
The detective said Burgess allegedly controlled the victim by leaving the victim written messages which would read "unintended consequences" in red ink.
During an interview with police, Burgess allegedly admitted that these messages would notify the victim that he/she should comply with Burgess' sexual demands or Burgess would kill or injure a person or pet that the victim loved, authorities said.
The victim told authorities the sexual abuse has been ongoing since he/she was very young.
Read or Share this story: https://www.thegleaner.com/story/news/2018/08/23/henderson-teen-being-tried-adult-incest-case/1072960002/
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Shareholder Loan Documentation
By John W. Lindbloom, CPA/PFS, Huber, Ring, Helm & Co., P.C., St. Louis, MO
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Individual Income Taxation
C Corporation Income Taxation
Editor: Alan Wong, CPA
Once again the Tax Court reminds taxpayers of the importance of details and following document terms for shareholder loans (Todd, T.C. Memo. 2011-123). The court determined that an amount purportedly borrowed by the sole shareholder of a corporation from its welfare benefit fund was a taxable distribution to the shareholder and not a loan.
The taxpayer was an employee and sole shareholder of the corporation. He was also its president and director. The corporation also employed several other individuals. All employees were covered under a collective bargaining agreement. The corporation, under the terms of the union contract, provided a death-benefit-only plan funded by life insurance through a welfare benefit fund. The taxpayer applied for and obtained a $6 million insurance policy on his life on behalf of the welfare fund. The welfare fund owned the policy, and the corporation paid the annual premiums.
The welfare fund agreement provided that the employer and trustees of the plan had discretion to make loans to participants on a nondiscriminatory basis. Employees were required to submit an application and written evidence of serious financial hardship or a financial emergency. The taxpayer applied for a loan, stating on his application that he was experiencing “unexpected housing costs,” and obtained a $400,000 loan from the welfare fund. The welfare fund elected to reduce the face amount of the taxpayer’s policy in lieu of paying the 4.76% interest rate to the insurance company.
The welfare fund issued a note to the taxpayer that was not signed until six months after the loan was issued. The note provided for interest at market rates; however, the taxpayer was charged only 1% interest. The note also provided that in lieu of the required quarterly loan note payments, the taxpayer could elect to reduce any payment from the fund to the taxpayer or his beneficiary. The taxpayer had not made any payments on the note.
In its opinion, the Tax Court looked to a Fifth Circuit decision—Moore, 412 F.2d 974 (5th Cir. 1969)—which held that “the distinguishing characteristic of a loan is the intention of the parties that the money advanced be repaid.” Factors considered by courts in finding a bona fide loan are whether:
The promise to repay was evidenced by a note or other instrument;
Interest was charged;
A fixed schedule for repayment was established;
Collateral was given to secure pay-
ment;
Repayments were made;
The borrower had a reasonable prospect of repaying the loan and the lender had sufficient funds to advance the loan; and
The parties conducted themselves as if the transaction was a loan (Goldstein, T.C. Memo. 1980-273).
The court concluded that the $400,000 disbursement from the welfare fund to the taxpayer was taxable income and not a bona fide loan. It analyzed the seven factors listed above and found that five of them were not met, indicating that the parties did not establish a debtor-creditor relationship at the time the funds were advanced.
Presence of a note: The parties did not memorialize the debt at the time the welfare fund disbursed the funds. They also did not execute the note until almost four months after the first repayment date. In addition, the parties did not adhere to the terms of the welfare fund agreement and the note. The fund did not charge market rate interest, and the taxpayer did not make quarterly payments.
Interest rate: The welfare fund charged the taxpayer 1% interest, not market rate as provided for in the note. By comparison, the insurance company would have charged 4.76% on a similar loan.
Repayment schedule: The welfare fund did not provide the taxpayer with a repayment schedule reflecting the quarterly payments until three months after the first payment was due.
Collateral: The court found sufficient collateral in the alternate repayment provisions allowing the fund to reduce the death benefit to the taxpayer’s beneficiaries.
Repayments: The taxpayer did not make any repayments on the note. The court rejected the taxpayer’s argument that the option to reduce any benefits due to him or his beneficiaries was valid repayment. Because of the nature of the plan (a death-benefit-only plan), repayment was contingent on multiple future events such as the corporation’s continued participation in the plan, the employee’s continued employment, and continuation of the union agreement. Due to these uncertainties, the taxpayer could not rely on the death benefit as a form of repayment.
Prospect of repayment: The court found a reasonable prospect of repayment because the taxpayer earned a substantial income.
Parties’ conduct: Neither party acted in a manner indicating that the disbursement was a loan. Neither party strictly abided by the note’s terms. The fund did not inquire into the hardship the taxpayer claimed on his loan application. The interest rate was below market, and the taxpayer made no quarterly payments. The welfare fund made no attempt to collect the debt when the taxpayer did not remit the scheduled repayments.
This case points out the importance of details in a loan transaction, especially when it involves related parties. In the case of a loan between a corporation and a shareholder, failure to follow terms and provisions will likely result in a loan being treated as a taxable distribution.
EditorNotes
Alan Wong is a senior manager at Holtz Rubenstein Reminick LLP, DFK International/USA, in New York, NY.
For additional information about these items, contact Mr. Wong at (212) 697-6900, ext. 986, or awong@hrrllp.com.
Unless otherwise noted, contributors are members of or associated with DFK International/USA.
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Number of Suffolk fire casualties up 62%
Field fires contributed to the rise in 'secondary' fires in Suffolk in 2018. Picture: RACHEL EDGE
The number of people injured in fires in Suffolk last year has soared by 62% - with numbers nearly double what they were five years ago.
Figures for Suffolk Fire and Rescue Service revealed that there were 122 casualties from fires in 2018/19 - well up on 75 the year before, and nearly double the 64 recorded in 2013/14.
Those numbers do not include deaths - of which there were four in Suffolk last year - but span minor injuries to life-threatening ones.
But despite the big increase, fire chiefs say it is not as a result of more fire incidents.
A spokesman from the service said: "The number of fire injuries in the current report is higher than previous years, but this does not necessarily indicate a spike in the number of fire incidents.
"The definition of a fire injury includes casualties who receive serious injuries, but also those who are assessed at the scene as a precaution and given the all-clear.
"We have also recently adopted a more robust system for recording fire injuries, which increases the number we report. This supports officers to provide more bespoke prevention and protection advice in the future.
"Our prevention and protection teams continually assess such data to make Suffolk a safe place.
"They work every day with schools, businesses and communities, providing services such as 'safer home visits' to vulnerable residents.
"Preventing incidents is always our objective, but this is a good opportunity to remind people to check their smoke alarms on a weekly basis."
According to the report being presented to Suffolk County Council's audit committee next week, the ambition remains to "achieve zero fire deaths and reduce the number of casualties to as few as possible" through its fire prevention and safety work.
The four fire-related deaths recorded last year is in line with the 4.4 average of the five years prior to that.
Figures for the number of fires recorded remained broadly static for 'primary' fires - fires in buildings or vehicles or ones which involve casualties - with 881 recorded last year compared to 824 the year before.
The number of 'secondary' fires (grassland, wasteland, derelict buildings and chimneys) had increased by 28%, largely because of the spate of field fires in the summer of 2018.
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Home > Insights > Blogs > REGucation > Critical first steps when preparing for a U.S. Department of Education program review
Critical first steps when preparing for a U.S. Department of Education program review
Aaron Lacey October 23, 2014
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The U.S. Department of Education has made a concerted effort in recent years to increase the number of program reviews conducted annually at both for-profit and non-profit institutions. In a prior post, we provided a short list of recommendations for those administrators likely to field the initial call from the Department should their institution be selected for a program review. Based on the positive feedback we received on that post (many thanks!), we decided to author this companion piece outlining first steps to take immediately following a program review’s announcement.
If the initial call with the Department goes as it should, following the call, your institution will have a good sense regarding the nature of the review, the locations included, the review period, and the dates for the onsite visit. With this information in hand, we suggest that you take the following steps as soon as possible:
Ensure that those with primary responsibility for managing the program review have on hand, and have reviewed, the Department’s "Program Review Guide for Institutions." The Guide touches on virtually every aspect of the program review process, including appeal options in the event of findings. The most recent version was published in 2009, and with attachments runs 118 pages. While select details of the Department’s protocol have changed since 2009, overall the document still provides a strong and accurate sense of the program review process, and as such, is required reading for any administrator preparing to manage a review.
Communicate to appropriate staff that the program review is forthcoming and ensure that all will be onsite and available during the team’s visit. This may seem trivial, but on more than one occasion we’ve worked with institutions that discover at the last minute that a key member of their team will be away during the review. It’s also important to appreciate that you will need a wide range of administrators onsite for the review. The Department considers the administration of federal financial aid programs to be an institution-wide effort. The review team will examine financial aid, academic, and fiscal records, interview institutional staff, and assess relevant consumer information disclosures (e.g., school website, student catalogs, pamphlets), among other things. As such, the review will involve not only financial aid, but the registrar, academics, admissions, finance, accounting, and campus security, to name a few. You also will want information technology personnel available to assist the Department with technical issues, to oversee Departmental access to university systems, to run reports, and, if applicable, to amend website deficiencies identified during the review.
Set a meeting to coordinate the production of the advance documentation required in connection with the review. Following the phone call announcing the program review, the institution should receive the official program review announcement letter. Among other things, this letter will detail the various documentation that the school must provide to the Department in advance of the visit. You also can find a discussion of the advance documentation that may be requested in the Guide. Because the advance production likely will involve personnel from multiple administrative verticals within your institution, and because the production window can be tight, it’s important to establish a production schedule — and to assign and coordinate responsibilities — as soon as possible.
Determine timelines for any staff training, as well as for any review or audit of websites, files, or facilities. At a minimum, every institution should seek to prepare those individuals most likely to be interviewed by the Department for the interview experience. Even where Department personnel are personable and polite, which typically is the case, staff can experience considerable anxiety during interviews. Familiarizing staff with the program review process and the range of topics that likely will be addressed can ease anxiety and significantly improve performance. Institutions with the resources to do so may also wish to audit files or facilities in advance of the on-site visit. Indeed, simply confirming that the files for all students covered by the review period are on-hand and organized can be an invaluable exercise.
If you have a third-party servicer that manages some aspect of your financial aid administration, contact your servicer immediately and request that a representative be available or, if possible, onsite for the duration of the review. This is not an unusual request. To the contrary, most third-party servicers would like to know that a program review is occurring as soon as possible, and expect to be involved. Also, be sure to ask your servicer team if they are familiar with the reviewers, and to coordinate with them the production of any documents they control and that must be produced before or during the review.
If you have outside education counsel, notify them that you have been selected for a program review. Like your third-party servicer, outside regulatory counsel may be familiar with the specific members of the review team, or more generally, with recent activity by the regional Participation Division. Your counsel also may be aware of current “hot topics” in the area of program reviews, or be able to assist you with training and preparation.
On a final note, we stress the importance of acting quickly. As stated in the Guide, most standard program reviews are announced two to four weeks in advance of the onsite visit. Even where the time allotted is closer to four weeks, the opportunity to prepare advance documentation and to ready an institution for an onsite review is limited. And this, of course, is all the more true when taking into account all the other issues an institution is managing during any typical week. Consequently, beginning preparations for a program review as soon as possible is critical to institutional success.
Aaron Lacey is a partner in Thompson Coburn’s Higher Education practice, and editorial director of REGucation. You can find Aaron on Twitter (@HigherEdCounsel) and LinkedIn, and reach him at (314) 552-6405 or alacey@thompsoncoburn.com.
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Book Bus Tickets From Panvel To Baroda - Vadodara
Home > Bus Tickets > Panvel to Baroda - Vadodara
All Bus Operators From Panvel to Baroda - Vadodara
Travels & Seat Type
Shri Vishwakarma Travels
2+1, Seater/Sleeper, Non A/C
Rs 1600, 1000
Jay Meldi Tours And Travels Pvt. Ltd
2+1, Sleeper, Non A/C
Manish Travels (MTT)
2+1, Sleeper, A/C
Rs 799, 849
Shree Vijay Travels
About Panvel
Panvel is the most populated city in Raigad district in Maharashtra. It is known as the gateway of Konkan region. The city is the headquarters of the Panvel sub-division of Raigad district. Panvel is an important junction point as many major highways meet and pass through the city. The Mumbai-Pune Expressway, Sion-Panvel Expressway, NH 4B and NH 17 start from here while NH 4 passes through Panvel.
Some of the budget hotels in Panvel are Ketki Hotel (Tariff - Rs. 1000), Hotel Vrindavan (Tariff - Rs. 800), and Sai Farms Tariff - Rs. 1200).
The official language of Panvel is Marathi.
Ceremony of Dahi Handi on Krishna Janmashtami and Ganeshotsav are the poplar festivals celebrated in Panvel.
Tourist places around Panvel are Karnala fort (10 kms), Karnala bird sanctuary (13 kms), Shirdhon (8 .4 kms) Matheran (50 kms) and Ballaleshwar Pali (2 kms).
The closest airport to Panvel is Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport, Mumbai (30 kms)
Panvel railway station is one of the most important junctions on the Konkan Railway.
There are two main bus stands in Panvel - ST stand on the national highway & NMMT stand near railway station. The ST buses are available from Panvel to Thane, Kalyan, Dombivli, Badlapur, Dadar, Uran as well as beyond city. NMMT buses are available from Panvel to Thane and Vashi. Some of the best bus operators that offer good experience for passengers traveling to Panvel include Inter City Travels, Neeta Travels, Naik Travels, Raja Travels, National Tourist and Paulo Travels. If you get cheap bus tickets online you can save a lot of money while travelling
About Baroda - Vadodara
Vadodara is the third largest city in Gujarat and is located on the banks of the Vishwamitri River. According to the survey of 2017, it is regarded as the 10th cleanest city in India. Vadodara is an important industrial, cultural and educational hub of the Western India.
There are numerous hotels available in this region such as In & Out Dormitory (Tariff – Rs. 500), Best Western Hotel (Tariff – Rs. 2,128), Hotel Express Towers (Tariff – Rs. 4,436) and much more.
The official language of Vadodara is Gujarati. Hindi, Marathi, Urdu, and English are also spoken in this region.
Diwali, Uttarayana, Holi, Eid, Gudi Padwa, Ganesh Chaturthi, Navaratri and Maha Shivaratri are the festivals celebrated with great joy.
Some of the places to be visited in Vadodara are Laxmi Vilas Palace, Makarpura Palace, Kirti Mandir, EME Temple, Dabhoi, Pavagadh and Vanchhara Derasar.
Vadodara Airport is the nearest airport. It has flight connections with Mumbai, New Delhi, Hyderabad, Chennai, Kolkata, and Bangalore.
Vadodara railway station is the Gujarat’s busiest junction with almost 150 trains passing through every day. Rajdhani, Shatabdi, and Duranto are the few trains that halt at Vadodara Junction.
There are bus stations at Vadodara which are available at any time. You can conveniently book bus tickets through online bus booking portals like Ticketgoose.com.
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This weekend's events (Dec. 15)
Events for Friday, Saturday and Sunday
This weekend's events (Dec. 15) Events for Friday, Saturday and Sunday Check out this story on timesrecordnews.com: http://wtrne.ws/2BrT6OT
Wichita Published 12:04 a.m. CT Dec. 15, 2017
In addition to world-class Christmas music, the Canadian Brass will perform their special version of the opera, "Carmen," with the Wichita Falls Symphony Orchestra 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 16, at the Memorial Auditorium.(Photo: Contributed photo)
MASS COMMUNICATIONS SENIOR DOCUMENTARIES: 3 p.m. Dec. 15, Fain Fine Arts Theatre, MSU. 397-4670.
A TUBA CHRISTMAS WITH DR. CHRISTOPHER VIVIO. 4 p.m. Dec 16. Akin Auditorium, MSU. 397-4267.
WICHITA FALLS SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: CHRISTMAS WITH THE CANADIAN BRASS: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 16, Memorial Auditorium, 1300 Seventh St. 723-6202.
90 TO NOTHING: 9 p.m. Dec. 16. Stick’s Place, 3305 Sheppard Access Rd. Facebook.com@SticksPlaceWichitaFalls
EVEN IT UP (HEART TRIBUTE): 9 p.m. Dec 16. The Iron Horse Pub, 615 Eighth St., 767-9488 or theironhorsepub.com.
STUDIO SATURDAY: 10 a.m. Dec. 16, Kemp Center for the Arts, 1300 Lamar St. Free. 767-2787 or kempcenter.org
First Presbyterian Church performs Handel's "Messiah" in 2015. (Photo: Times Record News file)
FARMER’S MARKET CHRISTMAS BAZAAR: 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Dec 16. Wichita Falls Farmers Market, 8th and Ohio. Vendors selling produce and locally made gifts. There will be Christmas carols, free cookies and punch.
72nd PRESENTATION OF HANDELS "MESSIAH": 3:30 p.m. Dec. 17, First Presbyterian Church, 3601 Taft Blvd.
"SYLVIA": 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday to Dec. 16, Dinner Stage, Backdoor Theatre, 501 Indiana. 322-5000.
"A CHRISTMAS STORY": 7:30 p.m. Dec 15 and 16. Wichita Theatre, 10th and Indiana, downtown. 940-723-9037 or www.wichitatheatre.com.
Ralphie (Ashton Mastalsz) fighting the bad guys with his Red Rider Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle in "Christmas Story: The Musical" which opens at 7:30 p.m. tonight at the Wichita Theater and also plays at 3 p.m. Saturday. The musical runs through December 16. (Photo: Richard Carter/Special to the Times Record News)
THE POLAR EXPRESS COUNTRY CLUB TOUR: 6 to 10 p.m. each day to Dec 25 (every day). A 30-minute ride through the Country Club. $5 for ages 4 and up. Meet at MSU parking lot, 3410 Taft. 781-0877.
PTL HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE RIDES: 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. to Dec 24. On Saturday, they add a 5:30 p.m. ride. A 45-minute ride through the Country Club. Various prices. Meet at the Forum, 2120 Speedway. 631-7872 or PTLcarriages.com
ELECTRICRITTERS: A LIGHTED CHRISTMAS DISPLAY: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. to Dec 23 each Friday and Saturday. River Bend Nature Center 2200 Third St., $4 advance, $5 at door, and kids 1 and under are free. 767-0843 or riverbendnaturecenter.org.
THE ART EXPRESS: ELECTRIC TRAINS ON DISPLAY: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesdays through Saturdays. to Jan. 20. The Wichita Falls Museum of Art at Midwestern State University. 2 Eureka Circle, 397- 8900 or www.wfmamsu.org.
AN EXHIBIT BY THE WFHS ART DEPARTMENT: to Jan. 20, 2018. What’s Up, Downstairs? Kemp Center for the Arts, 1300 Lamar St. 767-2787 or kempcenter.org.
AN EXHIBIT BY CINDY KAHLER THOMAS: to Dec 30. West End Studio. Kemp Center for the Arts, 1300 Lamar St. 767-2787 or kempcenter.org
“HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE PERMANENT COLLECTION; CELEBRATING 50 YEARS OF COLLECTING AMERICAN ART”: to Dec 21. Wichita Falls Museum of Art at Midwestern State University. 2 Eureka Circle, 397- 8900 or www.wfmamsu.org.
AN EXHIBIT BY HASAN ELAHI, CONCEPTUAL ARTIST: through end of Fall semester, Juanita Harvey Art Gallery, Fain Fine Arts Center, MSU. 397-4264.
AN EXHIBIT BY MERRI BUNDY: to Dec. 16. The Galleria at the Forum, 2120 Speedway. Free Admission. 766-3347 or theforumwf.org
Read or Share this story: http://wtrne.ws/2BrT6OT
Things to do around Wichita Falls this week
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'Arts Alive!' festival a 'hometown marketplace'
Ocean explorer a guest of Artist-Lecture Series
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5 unmissable meals in the Lake District
Ceri Garnett
Deal Expert
A Lake District break usually means plenty of time spent in the great outdoors working up an appetite. What better way to refuel after a hard day's fell-walking or boating than sitting down to one of these gourmet experiences?
Find Out Why L'Enclume Was Previously Voted the UK's No1
It’s hard to get a reservation at Simon Rogan’s L’Enclume in Cartmel – so much so that if you really want to go, you might have to secure this booking first, then build the rest of your Lakes getaway around it. That’s what happens when The Good Food Guide names a restaurant as the finest in the country and gives it a perfect score of 10 out of 10 (Gordon Ramsay and Heston Blumenthal are the only others to have matched that achievement). Two Michelin stars doesn’t hurt either. So if you do get in, consider yourself lucky and try not to ask for ketchup.
For more info, visit the L'Enclume website
A post shared by L'Enclume (@lenclume) on Jun 18, 2017 at 1:24am PDT
Lunch at the Bluebird Café on the Coniston Shore
A lakeside setting, floor-to-ceiling windows, sheltered terrace and views across Coniston Water make the Bluebird Café an absolute must for lunch, dinner or even just a post-walk coffee and slice of cake. It’s from here that the National Trust’s Steam Yacht Gondola launches – we recommend you don’t do one without doing the other.
For more info, visit the Bluebird's website
A post shared by ⭐️ MISS KERRYANNE BROWN ⭐️ (@kerryanne199169) on Apr 24, 2017 at 3:51pm PDT
Eat at the Holbeck Ghyll, as Featured in 'The Trip'
Since Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon sampled course after course of the Holbeck Ghyll’s 2-AA-Rosette food in their BAFTA Award-winning ‘The Trip’, the hotel and restaurant has achieved the same cult status as the TV show itself. With panoramic views, stylish dining rooms and a menu that showcases "David McLaughlin's dazzling abilities" (AA Hotel Guide 2015), the restaurant is as popular as ever, so be sure to book ahead. Dishes might include pressed terrine of guinea fowl, venison loin with celeriac and juniper, and a millefeuille of raspberries with vanilla panna cotta.
To find out more, visit the Holbeck Ghyll website
A post shared by Smiths Beach Resort (@smiths_beach_resort) on May 11, 2017 at 9:53am PDT
Afternoon Tea at the Inn on the Lake, Ullswater
Set in 15 acres of quiet grounds, the Inn on the Lake hotel is a charming lakeside spot for afternoon tea. Orders are taken daily from 12-5pm and the generous spread includes finger sandwiches, pork pies, mini trifles and homemade scones, cakes and biscuits, accompanied by a pot of tea. In good weather, find a seat on the terrace to make the most of the “superb” views of Lake Ullswater (The AA). In winter months, cosy sofas, 360-degree vistas and a crackling fire await in the Orangery. Combine your tea with a tour of the lake – the steamboat’s Glenridding dock is 10 minutes’ walk from the hotel.
For more info, check out the Inn on the Lake's website
A post shared by Lake District Hotels Ltd (@lakedistricthotels) on Jun 6, 2016 at 4:21am PDT
Eat at the Remote Wasdale Head Inn, near Scaffel Pike
The word “remote” tends to get overused when describing Lake District locations, but this place truly deserves the attribution. Just beyond the northern end of Wast Water, half an hour’s drive from the nearest village, with Scafell Pike and Great Gable looming over it, the Wasdale Head Inn is a favourite among walkers. There could scarcely be a better place to arrive after a hard day on the fells – a warm welcome is assured, while great food, crackling fires and (should you require it) a comfy bed are all on offer.
For more info, check out the Wasdale Head's website
A post shared by Mike 📸🏊🚵🏃🏻🚣⛷🏔 🇬🇧🇫🇷🇮🇹🇯🇵 (@mike.j.pigott) on Jun 13, 2017 at 2:10pm PDT
All of these recommendations originally appeared in our interactive guide, 101 Things to do in the Lake District
See all our latest deals on Lake District hotels
Related offers Related offers & more ↓
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140 New Montgomery St, San Francisco, CA 94105 415-975-0876
Trou Normand focuses on whole-animal butchery and house-made charcuterie using pork from Riverdog Farm and dried meats made from rare Mangalitsa pigs bred exclusively by Csarda Haz Farm and Dinner Bell Farm. We have up to 40 types of salumi and charcuterie available all-day with seasonal sides, pasta and chophouse style cuts of meat for dinner. Our menus change daily based on the freshest, local ingredients available.
Our cocktails are based on classic turn-of-the-century recipes made with Brandies and spirits that we meticulously source from small batch producers, including an exclusive selection of Armagnac, Cognac, and Calvados that cannot be found anywhere else in the United States. We also offer several handcrafted beers and a wine list focused mainly on artisanal European producers.
Trou Normand is located in the historic Pacific Telephone Building at 140 New Montgomery – a classic Art Deco high-rise designed by Timothy Pflueger and built in 1925. The restaurant seats 100 guests and features soaring ceilings, white marble tables & bar, and a gorgeous outdoor patio. Our space is open every day and is available for private parties and events.
Thad Vogler
Location Trou Normand
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