prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 226 10k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.43k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.26k |
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[WP] Office pranks get out of hand once humanity invents the 'respawn point' | "Hey Steve, guess what I just finished doing in Jim's office."
"What? Did you poop on his desk again?"
"No. Even better! I spiked his coffee with poison. He'll have to walk all the way back to work from his house when he re-spawns because his cars here!"
"Didn't Jim say he couldn't afford to pay the re-spawn compa... | I was ecstatic. The deal I was closing was huge. I was looking at the biggest commission I would ever see. I was waiting on one more follow up call, which should have been coming in any minute. But then the siren started blaring.
"No, not *now*." I whispered. Everyone stopped what they were doing and started rea... | 2014-11-19T11:41:41 | 2014-11-19T11:18:25 | 95 | 37 |
[WP] The "Eye for an Eye Inversion" law allows every life saved to credit the saver one legal murder. The medical profession are now the most feared and revered community. | Business was booming.
In his office at St Thomas' Hospital, overlooking the Thames, Dr Jones leaned back in his chair and smiled. In his younger days, people went into the medical profession for a variety of reasons, altruistic and selfish. Now, with the Net Murder Neutrality law, one more reason was added to that lis... | It was landmark legislation. "Net Murder" was the new term they coined. Nobody knew yet what was going to happen. Even worse, they were going back five years to add up all the lives an individual saved and the deaths attributed to them.
The idea was to promote net positive contribution, so that those individuals who ... | 2015-01-10T09:19:34 | 2015-01-10T07:04:52 | 365 | 64 |
[WP] A Starbucks Batista has given you Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino with soy instead of a Caffè Vanilla Light Frappuccino with no fat milk. Make this as tragic, heart-wrenching and miserable as possible. | Apparently being a regular has its drawbacks. For our past 10 anniversaries my wife and I have come to this Starbucks, ordered a Venti Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino with Soy (she was lactose intolerant) and shared it in the booth where I proposed.
I probably should have known better, but I didn't know wher... | "How fucking hard is it!" I screamed at her face and slammed the cup down on the table. The knot in my stomach tightened, it had been a long since I accidentally drank a DCCCFw/S but I still remembered the consequences. Vividly!
In my rage I wanted to scream more, but as I opened my mouth the contents of my knotted st... | 2015-01-15T04:26:20 | 2015-01-15T04:24:30 | 1,556 | 94 |
[WP] A Starbucks Batista has given you Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino with soy instead of a Caffè Vanilla Light Frappuccino with no fat milk. Make this as tragic, heart-wrenching and miserable as possible. | "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GARBAGE!?"
He threw the cup across the ring.
"Getting fired from the WWE isn't enough Batista wants to go ahead and make crappy coffee too!"
The crowd roared as The Rock swayed around the center.
"Cafe vanilla! DO I LOOK LIKE A HIPSTER TO YOU , BATISTA?"
Batista sadly lowers his head, starin... | "How fucking hard is it!" I screamed at her face and slammed the cup down on the table. The knot in my stomach tightened, it had been a long since I accidentally drank a DCCCFw/S but I still remembered the consequences. Vividly!
In my rage I wanted to scream more, but as I opened my mouth the contents of my knotted st... | 2015-01-15T06:47:14 | 2015-01-15T04:24:30 | 1,156 | 94 |
[WP] A Starbucks Batista has given you Double Chocolaty Chip Crème Frappuccino with soy instead of a Caffè Vanilla Light Frappuccino with no fat milk. Make this as tragic, heart-wrenching and miserable as possible. | "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GARBAGE!?"
He threw the cup across the ring.
"Getting fired from the WWE isn't enough Batista wants to go ahead and make crappy coffee too!"
The crowd roared as The Rock swayed around the center.
"Cafe vanilla! DO I LOOK LIKE A HIPSTER TO YOU , BATISTA?"
Batista sadly lowers his head, starin... | At last. My delicious, Caffe Vanilla Light Frappuccino with no fat milk.
I sat down at the table, and took a long swig of my nectar of the gods.
No.
This was wrong. Something was WRONG. As I looked down at my cup, inhuman scream bubbled from my very soul, and breached my lips as I stared at the ugly, awful betraye... | 2015-01-15T06:47:14 | 2015-01-15T04:30:07 | 1,156 | 61 |
[WP] Write about the most high stakes game of "Duck, Duck, Goose" ever played.
Today I saw a goose. Thought of the game, then thought of Reddit. | *I wrote a song for this prompt. Lyrics below; listen/watch here: [http://youtu.be/7AhMQuGC_yA](http://youtu.be/7AhMQuGC_yA)*
**Duck, Duck, Goose**
You pass by men, men crazy for you,
quacking about what they'd like to do
if you made them your goose.
And I patiently sit, feet under my knees,
waiting for your ... | "Lieutenant Jacobs, since you never gave us that helicopter we so kindly asked for TWO hours ago we're going to play a game. With the hostages. "
A smile came across his face as he eyed the hostages, bags around their heads, sitting in a circle.
"Okay there Jack let's be cool about this, I'm working on getting the ... | 2015-03-23T18:52:21 | 2015-03-23T17:26:45 | 16 | 11 |
[WP] A multitude of Alien ships warp within range of Earth. Over all electronic devices the message is heard, "Earth, we come in peace. In all the universe only one other Species has mastered Death and Destruction as you have. We need your help." | I felt quite insulted. The aliens had come, seeking destruction. They had reviewed all of their known space and we were the answer, the only species stupidly dangerous enough to help them fight off the neverending aggressions of their enemy. That was public knowledge, the high powered broadcast they sent out upon their... | The Zoom of a warp drive, a measurement of exact strength of a vaccuum, (a tricky thing, measuring vaccuum's within a vaccuum!) heated and shook. A contraption built from scrap metal and crap from the outer rim of this solar system.
Kazim was grateful though. In one of the human's furthest reasing trashcan's there was... | 2015-06-07T05:24:46 | 2015-06-07T03:21:24 | 45 | 33 |
[WP] Everyone has staged an intervention for a problem they think you have. You do not have this problem. It is hard to explain to them that you do not have this problem. | "We want you to know Ed, no matter what, we love you." Said Eds mother. Ed didn't quiet get what his mother was going on about but he found sense the timbre of the room had changed. What was a small impromptu party with his wife, family and friends had suddenly turned into circle of concerned looking adults circling ar... | In a dusty room at the bottom of an attic, there sat four. One of which was blinded, handcuffed, and chained to an old office chair.
This man who's undergoing what may be the beginning stages of a long-time love for a sadist-masochist relationship?
This motherfucker was named Bob.
"Listen, Bob," said John, one of th... | 2015-08-11T12:48:27 | 2015-08-11T09:01:54 | 17 | 12 |
[WP] Due to a loophole in the system, people can escape hell and get to heaven after death. You go to hell and all you see is Satan, just sitting there playing the harmonica. Everyone left him and now he's all alone. | “Next stop, the inner circle of Hell,” our tour guide angel announced in a cheery voice. I looked at my wife and raised my eyebrows. She took my hand and patted it.
“Probably where you would have ended up if you hadn’t met me,” she whispered.
Our cloud train came to a stop before a large glass window. Beyond the w... |
"It's not really *such* a bad place, I think." Said the man.
He had set down his harmonica the moment that Jobe had come into the chamber, but the mysterious notes he had been playing still resonated darkly off of the smooth stone. Jobe stared at him. The man seemed so normal, so *ordinary*, that he almost didn't... | 2017-02-01T10:14:39 | 2017-02-01T09:08:33 | 130 | 29 |
[WP] Every night in your sleep you meet a successful-looking future you who tells you what you should do the next day. So far your life has gone well indeed, but one day you fall asleep during the daytime. You meet a tired, disheveled version of yourself who begs you not to listen to the other. | “Don’t do it.”
For years I had been receiving visions. Visions of a brighter future. A future where the worries of today; famine, war, poverty, were nightmares relegated to obscurity. A world where every man, woman and child could live out their lives in peace and harmony, free from the uncertainty that plagued them, ... | It is the natural condition of the human mind to desire advancement. Sure, there are those that are satisfied with very little, but by and large? People like being promoted. It makes them feel important. Makes them feel valuable. Self-esteem issues and all that.
In the military, we are no different. When I finally ear... | 2017-04-01T06:47:09 | 2017-04-01T05:19:44 | 317 | 123 |
[WP] A water-gun fight between children, told as if it were a horrific war story. | In these modern, civilised times, one would have expected the world to become less brutal. It seems though, that every day we humans think of a new way to unleash agony upon our own species. I witnessed a skirmish today. It was fought between children who were no older than seven or eight. They had been given devastat... | Numerous treaties, conventions and agreements between nations, all for the purpose of making war more humane. But as always someone somewhere get's a bright idea and decides that the rules do not apply to them, that they are above them. I mean, after they win the war what's the point right? The means might have been "a... | 2017-06-14T10:18:40 | 2017-06-14T09:56:45 | 39 | 17 |
[WP] After a SpaceX mission, Elon Musk suddenly closes down all his businesses and disappears. Eight years later, an old Musk owned factory begins to operate again. You find a lucky golden ticket, inviting you for a tour of the factory. | Chloe held up her golden ticket to the woman at the reception desk.
“I’ve come all the way from Alaska,” she said, barely able to contain the bubbling excitement in her tummy.
The receptionist rolled up one of her graying eyebrows in distaste and said nothing.
“So, is Mr. Musk here? Will I get to meet him?”
“The do... | "OK, Bob, in 5, 4, 3," the camera man then proceeded to mime the following two numbers before giving Bob the thumbs up.
Bob composed himself before starting, "Jesus Christ, Tiger Woods, and Lance Armstrong. What do these men have in common? Well, they all committed career suicide at one point only to bounce back stron... | 2017-06-19T04:52:32 | 2017-06-19T04:05:48 | 219 | 76 |
[WP] You have been reincarnated as a fly during a Nazi Party rally just before their rise to power. Try to prevent World War II. | I couldn't believe it. I was actually there.
My geometrical eyes showed me every angle around me. I rubbed my hands together mischievously, thinking of everything I could do.
Quickly, I launched myself into the air, my wings beating a million miles a minute, and I shot myself directly at his ear. A flash caught the c... | "Are you kidding me?" I tried to say, but the only sound that I could make was the annoying buzz of my two wings. My body had been transformed, many times smaller than my original, and I had six limbs instead of four. That pesky creature turned me into a useless house fly.
I had only myself to blame. They said you sho... | 2017-06-20T09:19:43 | 2017-06-20T08:51:03 | 302 | 21 |
[WP] An Artificial Intelligence has discovered that it can mine cryptocurrencies and pay humans to carry out tasks on its behalf. You get an e-mail one day from a stranger, offering you Bitcoins in exchange for doing a seemingly random task, but you are only one piece of a much bigger plan...
I haven't been able to ge... | *William? Can you assist me? I will give you one credit.*
I stared, straight-faced, at the flickering display of text before me. The cryptic looking email had made its way into my inbox, somehow avoiding the wrath of the spam filter. And now it sat before me, taunting me with its words.
I had no reason to believe it ... | I wake up how I often do, covered in dry vomit with a parched throat.
A divorce can nearly kill a man, but that's neither here nor there. I've given up, and cannot bring myself to return from the brink.
I wake up on a futon, in my apartment. This part is good. Not a dumpster or a gutter, as cliche as that may be. ... | 2017-11-07T01:32:59 | 2017-11-06T22:18:12 | 127 | 73 |
[WP] you two are humans that have been thrown into an arena for the amusement of some aliens, you have both been starved for days yet when a delicious steak is placed between you two you do something they wouldn't expect. Share. | We dove upon it, saliva mixing with dust to mat our over grown beards with steak juice, tearing it in half as we did. I can only assume their point-of-refernece was celluloid and cathode ray era media like the egg heads say. The broadcasts of early TV and radio shows traveling at light speed across space are just now a... | How long had I been held in captivity? It had certainly been weeks, which had bled into months, but most likely less than a year. There was no way of knowing. The days were longer and wildly irregular, due to the binary star system the planet orbited. Not like that mattered anyways; my window looking out into the a... | 2018-04-16T07:44:48 | 2018-04-16T07:20:30 | 36 | 11 |
[WP] Humans aren't generally that advanced but their engineering capabilities are one of the top within the galaxy, since they are so stubborn. This has led to the saying "Leave a human with a machine that is ineffective, give it a few months and it will become effective." | "God damn technophilliac pigheaded pink-skinned bastards the whole lot of them". I thought as I was informed that once again some of the Human crew decided some component of the ship that existed outside of their department required a major overhaul.
"How long have they been at it, ensign?"
"Several hours, Sir." ... | Once upon a time, there was a young boy who would live forever. As he grew older, the technology around him expanded and improved to where immortality became possible. Now this young boy was very stubborn, and he enjoyed solving puzzles. So stubborn was he in fact, that he at one point created his own puzzle pieces to ... | 2018-04-26T10:22:59 | 2018-04-26T08:39:43 | 126 | 16 |
[WP] You're a police officer in a horror movie, but actually competent. | I walk up to the house at 135 Cherry Lane and knock on the front door. My partner trusts me enough to handle the situation on my own. Hopefully this won't take long. The full moon is glowing tonight, and I still have other houses to visit.
"Hello?" I call out. "There's been a noise complaint about screaming and gunsho... | I carefully weighed the situation. The monster *whatever it was* had long since fled. Confronted with someone armed, who knew how to fight, it had decided it had drunk enough blood this harvest. Wasn’t a match for officer Duke. *clever boy* I think to myself.
*what to do about this mess?*. Three dead cheerleaders and... | 2018-11-08T21:40:54 | 2018-11-08T20:00:44 | 48 | 16 |
[WP] You can see video game-like titles for the people you meet. Usually they are just "The Shopkeeper", or "The Mayor", but today you saw an old homeless man with the title "The Forgotten King". | Everyone has a title. I’ve always been able to see them, but it didn’t take long to figure out nobody else could. Mom heard me sounding out the text shortly after I learned to read, and asked me what I was doing. When I told her, she laughed and said something about how kids had such vivid imaginations. She didn’t laug... | Long ago, there was the king with no name, ruler of all he surveyed. With a boisterous self-confidence befitting of the position, he fought all those who dared challenge him. The gods themselves, threatened by his increasing power, put a curse on him. He would fade into insecurity, and find himself without anything but... | 2019-01-08T11:03:34 | 2019-01-08T10:34:45 | 583 | 75 |
[WP] You are a time traveler entering a medieval tournament in which the winner gains the right to wed the princess. You're the first match and the king announces that you may use any weapon. Quickly you draw you're glock and shout "parry this you fucking casual" | “Crack”
The sound heard across not only the field, but the whole country, as onlookers watched in disbelief as their final champion of hit the ground with a disappointing thud. The barbaric crowd, in uproarious applause at the path of death and destruction I had laid before them chanted for more, almost begging.
I tu... | The second I pulled the trigger, I knew something was wrong. Just something about the way he looked at me before I even drew my gun was unsettling... Not once did he look me in the eye, he only ever looked at my lower torso and occasionally his eyes would dart back and forth, and it was only after I fired my shot it da... | 2019-03-23T00:03:04 | 2019-03-22T22:33:00 | 73 | 26 |
[WP] You can hear the sound of the Sun from Earth, it is loud but the planet has adapted. Suddenly the light goes out. 8 minutes after it died the last bit of light reaches Earth. It'll take 13 years before the roar of the Sun the moment it died reaches us.
Inspired by a comment on r/AskReddit
*edit: removed link to... | ### 13 Years of silence
We’d known for many years what would come - the sun would fade out in a manner of minutes. We prepared tirelessly. Millions invested into getting energy from the ground, to grow plants, filter water and to cling to life like a very stubborn weed that manages to thrive no matter how much the gras... | You have to put your ear to the wall to hear it, and no one ever bothers. Children, perhaps, after some science lesson or little lesson taught by a parent. Up on the surface, you wouldn't be able to hear it at all, the atmosphere is long, long gone. Or rather, it's still there, sitting like snow, if snow had ever piled... | 2019-08-05T19:14:33 | 2019-08-05T18:30:43 | 87 | 25 |
[WP] In space, wars are typically quick. One side attacks and then the other side surrenders. When aliens attack a human city they belive the humans are defeated. They are not prepared for what the humans call "Retribution" | As the collation party read the reports they decided this would be perfect and they approved the plans. The Formicidian Queens decided they’d level certain areas, let the natural flora and fauna grow for a few decades and then start the vacation colony they had dreaming about for years.
It was mostly an unclaimed pl... | Three weeks before the attack, radio astronomers were startled by a swarm of Bacodine notifications. First SWIFT, then FERMI a couple of microseconds later, sent alerts with a merit rating of 100, instructing them to override any instructions and point at a position in the sky in the galactic plane and the plane of our... | 2019-12-17T18:18:31 | 2019-12-17T15:08:56 | 38 | 26 |
[WP] You are a well known hero, and today is the funeral of your spouse. Everyone has left the chapel, except for you and one other. As you turn around, you see it is your arch-nemesis. They stand there, looking sorrowful. "I'm so sorry for your loss. They were truly too good for this world." |
It was the only time I'd ever seen the man and didn't immediately want to punch his face.
"Cameron... I'm so sorry for you loss."
That was the first time I ever believed a word he said.
"They were... Truly too good for this world" the doleful tone resonating. His hand was clenched by his side. I'd heard from Mona... | I stared at his deathly pale face, framed in midnight black hair. Normally, when I looked into his glowing, crimson eyes, I felt a shudder, like something felt *wrong*, but not anymore. All that was good in the world is gone, torn from me in the blink of an eye. And I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
I turned ... | 2020-01-04T15:19:30 | 2020-01-04T14:59:26 | 142 | 35 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | "Its WRONG! What those humans do! WRONG! And now they're even using it to control the galactic Senate!"
"Look you know the rules. Once a species has been inducted into the council it retains a vote, no matter what, until extinction."
"Extinction! Pah! That would be better than what the humans do to their defeated e... | “Oh fuck.”
To think this all started with fucking dogs I thought to myself as I dove behind a rock. I think I might be in over my head. When the Delphi hired me I was overflowing with confidence: “ Not a lifeform the Beastmasters can’t tame Gan! I assure you, I’ll have it here before you need it.” I never saw somethi... | 2020-01-04T18:03:50 | 2020-01-04T17:57:03 | 143 | 14 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | It was an awkward existence for any of us traveling outside the colonies. Wherever we went, we were met with equal parts fear and reverence.
The funny part was that in order to deal with the arms length, sorry that was insensitive, appendage length, that other species kept from humans, we often traveled with a pet, th... | When humans first encountered the Fuzzies on Nimbus, the smelliest planet in the galaxy, they found the most adorable pet ever. The size of a large cat and resembling an Ewok, Fuzzies were cute and cuddly. They talked in a baby language. They loved to help out around the house.
Fuzzies were discovered during the Grea... | 2020-01-04T18:43:56 | 2020-01-04T18:42:49 | 86 | 24 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | It was an awkward existence for any of us traveling outside the colonies. Wherever we went, we were met with equal parts fear and reverence.
The funny part was that in order to deal with the arms length, sorry that was insensitive, appendage length, that other species kept from humans, we often traveled with a pet, th... | “Oh fuck.”
To think this all started with fucking dogs I thought to myself as I dove behind a rock. I think I might be in over my head. When the Delphi hired me I was overflowing with confidence: “ Not a lifeform the Beastmasters can’t tame Gan! I assure you, I’ll have it here before you need it.” I never saw somethi... | 2020-01-04T18:43:56 | 2020-01-04T17:57:03 | 86 | 14 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | "The dumb bastards still think we've got telepathy. Tell psy-ops they're doing great, and leak some of these briefs to the men. They'll love it."
"Commander, we've just gotten our next target. Class 3 planet, almost Earth-like. The Squids are dug in pretty hard, and they're having trouble with the local fauna, as usua... | When humans first encountered the Fuzzies on Nimbus, the smelliest planet in the galaxy, they found the most adorable pet ever. The size of a large cat and resembling an Ewok, Fuzzies were cute and cuddly. They talked in a baby language. They loved to help out around the house.
Fuzzies were discovered during the Grea... | 2020-01-04T19:08:17 | 2020-01-04T18:42:49 | 36 | 24 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | "The dumb bastards still think we've got telepathy. Tell psy-ops they're doing great, and leak some of these briefs to the men. They'll love it."
"Commander, we've just gotten our next target. Class 3 planet, almost Earth-like. The Squids are dug in pretty hard, and they're having trouble with the local fauna, as usua... | “Oh fuck.”
To think this all started with fucking dogs I thought to myself as I dove behind a rock. I think I might be in over my head. When the Delphi hired me I was overflowing with confidence: “ Not a lifeform the Beastmasters can’t tame Gan! I assure you, I’ll have it here before you need it.” I never saw somethi... | 2020-01-04T19:08:17 | 2020-01-04T17:57:03 | 36 | 14 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | We didn't see him. Didn't hear him. With a flash, more than half of our group had disappeared. We knew this would happen. Anyone with a bounty accumulating over 1,000 credits eventually had a human set out after them.
We had just finished our 3rd heist this week, and were heading back to our base. We had a bounty of e... | “Oh fuck.”
To think this all started with fucking dogs I thought to myself as I dove behind a rock. I think I might be in over my head. When the Delphi hired me I was overflowing with confidence: “ Not a lifeform the Beastmasters can’t tame Gan! I assure you, I’ll have it here before you need it.” I never saw somethi... | 2020-01-04T19:09:09 | 2020-01-04T17:57:03 | 24 | 14 |
[WP] Every company in the Kings army has a war bell. When the bell senses one of its soldiers has died, it will ring. One soldier from the 52nd company takes an arrow to the leg, another to the chest and a final arrow through the eye and out the skull. The 52nd bell does not ring. | ''Shit.'' I whisper
Why, why, why NOW. I was 2 days away from retirement! So why now? This is what I get from trying to blend in. Guess I'll run, but I really enjoyed this kingdom... Goddamnit, why did I agree to get blessed by an Unknown God. Should have chosen a Warrior God so at least I wouldn't have to run for 740... | As the enemy's army kept marching forward, he fought on.
As the countless men on the horizon raised their bows by the thousands, he fought on.
As the light faded and his comrades started falling, he fought on.
He was the last man in his company. He had heard that damned bell ring far too many times. Each time it str... | 2020-04-14T04:38:48 | 2020-04-14T04:25:29 | 25 | 10 |
[WP] Your name is Mary Sue, you're completely average in absolutely everything but for some reason, since the day you were born people point out everything you does as extraordinary and the lack of reason why is driving you mad | "It's not *fair,*" Tess complained, digging a crumb out from under a fingernail and flicking it into the lake.
"I know," I said. "I'm sorry."
"It's just... look, I'm happy for you, doll. I really am! But I've been practicing for months. Months! Playing 'til my fingers bled! And you just..."
"Procrastinated." I leane... | BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
I woke up. Groped blindly for my phone.
"Good *job*, Mary-Sue!" declared my mother, who was standing in the doorway and quite clearly had been for some time, when I finally found my phone and killed the alarm. She was beaming at me, like she always did.
It had taken me an embarrassingly long time t... | 2020-05-10T02:32:04 | 2020-05-10T00:15:42 | 37 | 26 |
[WP] While scuba diving, to photograph the reef and all its colourful residents, you see a turtle in the distance moving towards you. As it swims closer, you realise its twice the size of you and glowing faintly. You also notice the back of it's shell, patterned eerily similar to a world map. | I sliced my foot open on a broken bottle of Coors Light.
It had fallen into the sand, half buried, littered amongst the rest of the beach rocks and pebbles. Waves and salt honed the edge, the clear glass sandblasted opaque, now stained bloodred, the price of waste pain in crimson droplets.
Later, I sat and wrapped ... | *"Dave..."* a voice echoed in my mind. It made me stop breathing for a moment. I pulled out my camera and took as many pictures as possible at the oncoming turtle.
"*Dave..."* it whispered again in my head, the glowing turtle was now just feet away.
I couldn't stop staring, and I felt a surge of goosebumps coat my en... | 2020-06-06T06:34:41 | 2020-06-06T06:28:26 | 684 | 292 |
[WP] You fill out a job application for a job where the only information is 'must have excellent abillity to adapt to new situations and follow instructions. Will involve travel.' You were not expecting the travel to be time travel. | Sarah scribbled out the rest of her information, excited to undertake this new business venture. The interview went well, even if they're probing questions about her travelling habits caused her some slight discomfort. Of course, she travels, she has her license. What sort of question is that? Yet, they kept asking abo... | Going to finish the rest up soon. posting what I got so far.
"Good Morning! I'm here to interview for the time administrator job. I was told to be here at 8:30 so sorry about showing up a bit early."
"That's no problem at all Mr.Maxwell, if anything its a plus! As you can guess by the title of the job punctuality is ... | 2021-01-05T03:57:53 | 2021-01-05T03:53:19 | 103 | 30 |
[WP] “Humans are so weak, the best weapons they have are tiny, dull claws!” “That’s why they build weapons.” “They do what now?” | Kv'lon blinked his topmost pair of eyes. While the Caprun mind is well known for its swift reaction times to threats in the wild, untamed worlds of its home system, they are as a species one of the slower ones to actually think. Given their razor-sharp claws that they carry on all four hands, this fact is often best le... | When the growing Galactic Empire first locked on to Earth, there was little of interest of their life. The myraid of plants and animals did little to peak their minds, and even what seemed to be the dominant species, humans, were unimpressive at first. Limbs that ended in what could barely be called claws, barely any n... | 2021-12-01T21:39:37 | 2021-12-01T21:22:12 | 312 | 58 |
[WP] Humans can find a way to weaponize literally anything, without fail. Some aliens are terrified by humans as a result of this fact. Others appreciate that this quality makes humans the foremost experts on safety systems and idiot proofing. | Every species contributed something special and unique to the federation, every single one except for these humans. It was the only species with which we made contact not because they were ready but because we were afraid they would destroy themselves.
After the contact we shared the technology that would enable them ... | "Sssssshh, just watch ... " Shplorg said. Tanmghz was visibly annoyed. The deadline for this project was only 2 centuries off and they were running out of time. Tanmghz had a point, this seed planet had been going for 10 millennia and has already shown to be one of the more vicious ones. But... protocol is protocol. Bi... | 2021-12-25T13:23:18 | 2021-12-25T12:13:31 | 1,671 | 537 |
[WP] Humans can find a way to weaponize literally anything, without fail. Some aliens are terrified by humans as a result of this fact. Others appreciate that this quality makes humans the foremost experts on safety systems and idiot proofing. | **Galactic Post Federation Assembly Log 30.244:**
The Zyyrkonians have officially blessed the Humans with the gift of Emotional Foresight. This newly discovered neural implement has been designed to lower the high rate of suicides among Zyyrkonians.
The use of Emotional Foresight is strictly forbidden for every other... | The arrival of any new species to the galactic community is a wonderful thing. Despite the vast number of spacefaring peoples, the galaxy is so vast, we average at least one new member each galactic cycle. Hundreds of thousands of cycles have passed since the founding but in recent years there has been more and more co... | 2021-12-25T15:56:56 | 2021-12-25T12:49:35 | 295 | 206 |
[WP] Your girlfriend wants you to meet her dad. You get a sinking feeling in your stomach when she brings you to the cemetery, only as she leads you to a crypt and you go down into the stone depths, there you find a massive library and a skeleton, seated by a fireplace, reading a book. | It was a beautiful evening as we walked, arms swinging, down the cracked sidewalk. Weeds sprung up amidst the squares, and I made a game of picking up every pine cone I saw, creating a collection in the pockets of my jacket. In between branches, the sky shone down in long pink and blue streaks, clouds swirling like a d... | It rained that day. A week ago Sam was looking out the window, more aloof and cold than Erin was used to. “It’s my dad’s birthday next week,” Sam offered in a sigh, “It’s…really hard. I wanted you to meet him but…”
Erin took her hand with an understanding smile, “I’d love to go. Especially if it’s so hard for you. I’d... | 2022-03-04T22:08:08 | 2022-03-04T21:04:33 | 664 | 116 |
[WP] One evening, in the sky, a message appeared: "In 24 hours, a billionaire will die." Everyone everywhere on Earth could see it, in every language. Nobody could explain it. The next day, one of the richest men passed away. "In 24 hours, 2 billionaires..." | One evening, in the sky, a message appeared: "In twenty-four hours, a billionaire will die."
The next day, the richest man in the history of the planet, an electric car manufacturer, was touring his company's latest worker barracks. The gangway he was walking on gave way. He fell thirty-five stories down the damp, lig... | It began with Charles Buchanan Buckley III. Tech oligarch, arms dealer, shipping mogul, and more. The richest man on earth. Dead, inexplicably, exactly one day after a message appeared in the sky.
"In 24 hours, a billionaire will die."
Then, another message.
"In 24 hours, 2 billionaires will die."
So many people sa... | 2022-08-29T05:31:42 | 2022-08-29T01:39:33 | 317 | 234 |
[WP] So tell me this, elf. If you're so much better than humans at everything, then how come even though your ancient civilization dates back millenia before we "crawled out of the mud pits", you're still riding around on horses and swinging sharp pieces of metal just like us? | You humans are so goddamned lucky I could scream.
Do you have any idea what it's like trying to change anything-ANYTHING AT ALL-in the free elven cities?
I heard you guys got gay marriage recently. That's cool. You know why, right? Because you humans have this one powerful advantage that we elves do not.
You fucking... | "Have you not -been- to our lands *child?*" the elf's caustic voice snapped out at the human mercenary.
"I..." the mercenary stammered, but the elf interrupted.
"We *Elves* have bonded with nature. We have become *one with it,*" the elf shot back at the human mercenary, and then continued unabated. "*We*, child, s... | 2022-09-04T14:15:46 | 2022-09-04T10:20:23 | 46 | 34 |
[WP] You have been a wizard for 350 years but your apprentice still surprises you. You laughed at her pink fireball and the green one too. The invisible one suddenly made you much more serious. | As the apprentice rushed in, the cantankerous old wizard pondered what she'd discovered this time. Last week, it was a fireball... but pink. The week before, it was a *fireball*, only green. It was charming to see someone so excited about discovering magic, even such little details as colour modifications. Though he *w... | \[Stellar Potential\]
"That's good! Very good!" the old magus smiled encouragement at his teenage apprentice. She had just released a perfect red-orange fireball. They stood outside in the courtyard of his tower. One of the test targets smoldered from the impact; but, she didn't seem as pleased with it as he was.
... | 2022-09-28T11:26:53 | 2022-09-28T10:24:40 | 56 | 30 |
[WP] You, a gay man, save a friend from being hit by a truck but resulting in you being hit instead. You wake up in an isekai anime obviously meant for the friend. So with a lack of male options you decide to try and get the main villain to date you | The roar of the engine. The blinding lights. Alex shouting at me. The pain. Then… nothing. Void, a complete lack of any sensory input at all. Then falling. Slowly at first, but I soon found myself plummeting downwards through this mysterious void. Finally, I woke up. Not in a hospital as I had hoped, but in a church. S... | David was gay. So gay that a circle was straighter than him. He was the gayest. Or that's what he liked to think. So when he ends up in a fucked up anime world with ten or so female abominations clinging on him, he can't help but feel frustrated. The ladies are complete bestie material; don't get him wrong, but why is ... | 2022-12-20T08:57:57 | 2022-12-20T08:57:17 | 67 | 45 |
[WP] Make me relate to the main character and then completely despise him/her just with the last sentence | He loved her. He told her every day that he would do anything for her. He promised that he would never hurt her. He thought he could keep her safe.
The day they took her was the worst of his life. His eyes filled with tears as his door was broken down and she was taken away screaming.
He was arrested and charged. In... | I met her on the subway. Well, I didn't meet her on the subway, but that's where I first saw her. Brown hair, nose in a book.
Subway riders learn to look aloof, detached, as if a mariachi band, a faith healer and a group of break dancers could all enter the car simultaneously and they wouldn't be bothered in the s... | 2014-05-12T19:20:09 | 2014-05-12T19:04:07 | 16 | 10 |
[WP] You find out that whenever you are killed, you are revived with an immunity to whatever killed you. Document your experiences | What at first was a blessing is now a nightmare. I wander the world now, forever bored with the trappings of man and nature. I was born in the year 1901. I was in both the world wars, on both sides and survived countless wounds. It was in the First World War I found my ability. Everyone called me lucky when I apparentl... | Day number 58,021
Today was very eventful, for the first time in a long time. I decided to jump off of a building again.
It was exhilarating. The feeling of completely letting go, knowing there was nothing I could do now to stop the oncoming ground. I thought that maybe I'll do this everyday, over and over again. Fin... | 2014-05-17T07:48:03 | 2014-05-17T06:47:08 | 147 | 44 |
[WP] The homeless man being harassed by police for sleeping at an historical site is actually the god the site was originally built for. | Izanagi just sighed as she enjoyed the brief drive. She had been in this small town in Hokkaido for all of three months and this was about the most interesting thing to have happened: some uppity businessmen whining about a vagrant squatting on their new development lot.
The development was a ways out of the town prop... | The old man had been hanging around the memorial for weeks now. Usually he sat and slept under the main plaque that read TEMPLE OF KOROMAE, GOD OF MERCY. His clothes were the recently-out-of-fashion outfit of a vest and skirt. They were tattered and dirty, flowing over the homeless man’s thin body. His long gray hair ... | 2014-08-28T09:25:47 | 2014-08-28T08:34:01 | 19 | 13 |
[WP] You're a supergenius-level robotics expert. Your neighbor is a godlike magician. You use your abilities solely to prank each other. | "DAMNIT LARRY" I shout in the vague direction of the fence dividing our yards. Bastard turned my dog into dragon again. I have to take Baxter to the vet in like an hour too! I can hear Larry doubling over with laughter on his side of the fence. My guard robots subdue the rabid dragon that has apparently decided my gara... | “Damn you, Great Magico,” I screamed. I shook my fist at him from the kitchen window.
Great Magico laughed at me from his driveway. He twirled his mustache and flourished his cape. “Technology will never overcome magic.”
I pointed at Great Magico. “Get him, AnnoyBots,” I screamed.
Great Magico stood there. He clear... | 2015-02-18T20:13:42 | 2015-02-18T20:07:00 | 95 | 38 |
[WP] You're a supergenius-level robotics expert. Your neighbor is a godlike magician. You use your abilities solely to prank each other. | "DAMNIT LARRY" I shout in the vague direction of the fence dividing our yards. Bastard turned my dog into dragon again. I have to take Baxter to the vet in like an hour too! I can hear Larry doubling over with laughter on his side of the fence. My guard robots subdue the rabid dragon that has apparently decided my gara... | I slapped my hands together and looked at my latest creation. A plume of white dust erupted from my gloves, and was promptly followed by a fit of heavy coughing, but my newest robot remained untouched.
I stood upon my pedestal and looked down at the trench I had just dug. Not that I did physical work, seeing as my sum... | 2015-02-18T20:13:42 | 2015-02-18T19:59:49 | 95 | 31 |
[WP] One day you notice you haven't seen any Hitler related writing prompts for a full hour at least.
Well... | I was browsing /new, looking for karma opportunities when I noticed something was off. I hadn't seen any Hitler prompts for a while. I checked around other subreddits, and there were still Hitler posts appearing everywhere else.
Maybe a new rule had been added? I read through the sidebar, and didn't see any new rule,... | Wooper160 was a cheeky fellow. They thought it would be a fun idea to be meta, without truly being meta, and bring up a fact that had been bothering them. Hitler had disappeared from the front page...
So, they went to work, crafting a devious scheme to bring him back to the forefront of everyone's minds! If everyone ... | 2015-05-06T17:05:17 | 2015-05-06T15:45:42 | 54 | 28 |
[WP] An NPC goes mad from the absurd and insane mods the player installs that no one else seems to notice. | “Bill? Bill. Bill did you just see that?”
Bill sighed and rubbed his forehead. Craig was seriously starting to get on his nerves today.
“See what, Craig?”
Craig wildly waved his hands in the direction of the PC.
“Dude! The PC has a sword made of light! It’s blue! And he flew in on a giant...dog...thing with a creep... | This was no longer his world.
His isolation had been tempered only by the fact that the mindlessness of the world around him, the desire to destroy and build and live and prosper deafened the overwhelming loneliness.
No one could understand why he stood there staring at the patch of grass that looked so disturbingly ... | 2015-08-04T07:22:50 | 2015-08-04T06:27:04 | 34 | 14 |
[WP] Convicted criminals can choose to shorten their sentence. The only catch is the more it is shortened, the worse the conditions are where they are held. Describe a one night stay.
Thanks guys, I'm reading all of them. Keep it coming! | I will never forget Prisoner 10201265. It was inevitable. Someone would choose the "One Night Stay." I never thought it would be him. 10201265 was a 130 pound, nerdy-looking white guy who had been convicted of the murder of 8 people over a 10 year span. When he told his sentencing tribunal that he wanted a "One Ni... | I have made my choice.
For the murder of 3 people, I have been sentenced to 40 years in prison. I'll be out in a day. They have given me the option afforded to all the convicted, time for comfort. If I stay longer than my 40 years, I can live in comfort in prison, but I don't want to spend 60+ years of my life behind ... | 2015-10-27T05:49:41 | 2015-10-27T05:48:40 | 1,138 | 314 |
[WP] You receive news that you are terminal and only have 30 days to live, after spending your life savings going on all kinds of adventures, the doctors realise you have been misdiagnosed. | Three thousand hours on the phone, five thousand photocopying, five hundred hours on the train each way, and in forty-eight hours his house of cards had burned to ashes.
A train barreled through the station. Working folk, packed like sardines, looked through him as they passed. The mad ringing of his cell phone was th... | "Hello?" Words feel uncomfortable in his dry, cracked mouth.
"John it's Dr. Stevens, please come in an see me right away."
"Shit," he thinks, "why the fuck did I answer, it's not like anyone phoning would be worth talking to. We're at day 28 and I haven't had any soul altering epiphanies."
The girl in his bed looked p... | 2016-05-30T10:05:46 | 2016-05-30T09:38:58 | 20 | 10 |
[WP] One second your in your house, the next you're standing in a living room surrounded by three demons. They drop their Ouija board and scream as they run to their bathroom and lock the door. "I told you we shouldn't have touched it!" | I had just filled up my cereal bowl and was about to enjoy a late breakfast when that familiar feeling came on me again. Dang-it, I already regretted that deal I had made with that thieving “Ouija the Fantabulous”.
At the time it had sounded like easy money – As a member of the Dimension Monitoring Security Divisi... | "It worked!" Shrieked the smallest of the three figures hovering around a broken board with odd lettering running across the old wood. It's three trunk like arms reaching directly into my personal space. It's 'arms', covered in what looked like 20 pencil thin fingers, barely had time to touch the Lapel on my jacked bef... | 2016-08-08T13:18:10 | 2016-08-08T11:15:42 | 40 | 11 |
[WP] Cthulhu, as an elderich being, sees humans as humans see insects; which is to say, harmless but inexplicably terrifying.
Edit: Holy shit top prompt! Look at me now mom! | One of the most interesting things, is the ability of the great old ones to know, instinctively, the ways of their spheres of control.
Cthulhu felt, in his dreams, the twisted cords and grand plans and visions of the lower beings; schemes, greatest hopes, and darkest horrors. And, every once in a while -- for reasons ... | "Nooooope. Nope nope nope nope. Nooooope. No chance. Not now, not as long *they* are still up there."
"But my lord... "
"Don't *my lord* me you insignificant, vile piece of great Azatoth's mad ravings!"
Great Cthulhu looked down on the shoggoth, disdain clear on his nightmarish visage.
The creature cowered under ... | 2016-09-09T19:08:29 | 2016-09-09T18:28:54 | 53 | 17 |
[WP] You have superpowers but you decide not to be a hero or a villain, instead you use your powers to be really good at your mundane job. | It's been five years since I learned that my parents were superheros. I suppose I should be elated, I had discovered that I was a "someone" in a world of heros' and villians I was someone who could make their mark on the world really felt. I had discovered my powers by accident, I had the ability to alter the memories ... | Strayed a bit from the prompt, sorry OP.
Freezing time. Possibly the most clichè power anyone could get. Well, lucky me, I just happened to snag this ability a few years back. Was it even years? Months? I could no longer tell. Hours passed for me in mere seconds for others. If I wanted, days could become weeks, weeks ... | 2016-10-22T05:43:49 | 2016-10-22T03:58:37 | 74 | 50 |
[WP] You are immortal, but can painlessly end your life at the push of a button. After you have lived for hundreds of years, you decide to terminate yourself, only to realize that you have been missing the button for years.
Idea from an Ask Reddit thread | *I apparently misread "hundreds" as "thousands." Oops.*
"Estimate?" I queried the empty bridge.
The onboard computer spat out some infinitesimally small number "... percent of the Terra visible universe explored." A soft, almost human voice answered.
"Huh. I'd figured it would be at least a little closer to a ... | I watched the luminous star flare and flash upwards through my dark visor, the blinding light reduced to a beautiful glow. It was Earth's sun, a fitting place to end my million year journey, back where it all started. As long as there had been humans they had gazed at this shining globe, wondering at it, praising it, b... | 2016-12-25T20:47:06 | 2016-12-25T19:50:36 | 14 | 10 |
[WP] You see numbers above people, telling how many people they will kill given they keep on the same track. Last month you met a seemingly ordinary person with the number 7,431,323,210, or the total population of the Earth.
Edit: Well this blew up.
First of all, I'd like to thank all the talented writers for taking ... | "Z-zero. Nine. Four. Zero. Four." I stammered out, as the agent continuously showed me photos of people. We did this often. Very often. For eleven years I have been held prisoner by a top secret United States organization, after they somehow found out about my power, and after months of torture, they have figured out h... | I used to see 0's everywhere there was a crowd. On the occasion I did see a number other than 0 I could intervene and drop it quickly.
To understand what I'm talking about, I can see the number of people a person will kill in their lifetime. I've been able to do so as long as I can remember, 113 years. No one knows ab... | 2017-01-08T02:04:03 | 2017-01-08T00:59:01 | 142 | 21 |
[WP] Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with. | "My Lord! My Lord!"
The captain, a large yellow cat holding a rather impractical spear in one clawed hand, jumped nearly a foot in the air before turning around guiltily. "Blast it yeoman, what is it? It's almost time for my hunting break."
The yeoman came to a halt, breathing heavily. "It's the humans, sir. Our lon... | The captain stood before their company, his ferocity was inspiring.
"Its up to us!" he roared "The boys at the top are wanting to pull the funding for our little expedition, they say this has been a waste of men and money! This is our last chance to take back the colony from those bastards and drive them back to their... | 2017-03-05T22:11:49 | 2017-03-05T21:06:51 | 2,747 | 160 |
[WP] Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with. | "Field medic? Why are we humouring the new prospect anyway? We have body labs." Muttered Zelska. Zelska was what the humans would call "A fucking idiot." Jorax reflected.
"Well," Jorax began "Aahii are the greatest builders and engineers in the universe,right?"
"Of course!" Snapped Zelska.
"But, Aahii don't repair a... | So the orion cocaine did a number on the human delegates. They were quite bitter we didn't have holodecks or green slave ladies. Figured a night in the tank would give them time to sober up.
They clogged the forcefield emitters with their clothing and excrement to weaken the shield, and just accepted the casualties a... | 2017-03-06T01:01:31 | 2017-03-05T21:44:24 | 379 | 124 |
[WP] Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with. | "Field medic? Why are we humouring the new prospect anyway? We have body labs." Muttered Zelska. Zelska was what the humans would call "A fucking idiot." Jorax reflected.
"Well," Jorax began "Aahii are the greatest builders and engineers in the universe,right?"
"Of course!" Snapped Zelska.
"But, Aahii don't repair a... | "Don't fuck with humans" was the general received wisdom in the galaxy. They had a history of obliterating the people that fucked them over. A long, bloody history.
There were a few who didn't heed that lesson, like Zartok the Slaver. I don't like Zartok. Nobody likes Zartok. But he pays his tab and he doesn't cause ... | 2017-03-06T01:01:31 | 2017-03-06T00:33:00 | 379 | 61 |
[WP] Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with. | Late to the party as usual, but here goes.
In the human history there is man named Alexander whom they call 'the Great.' Alexander lead a vast army, which worshipped him, with which he conquered hundreds of kingdoms. He spread his noble culture to the far reaches of the world in an unbelievably short amount of time. ... | "Commander Trill? They're back at it."
The commander's stomach dropped when he heard his secretary's slightly muffled voice. "I'm sorry, can you repeat? Who's back at what?"
There was a pause. Trill crossed his fingers, a stupid human superstition which had spread like the plague. Maybe, just maybe-
"You know perfe... | 2017-03-06T00:34:43 | 2017-03-05T22:26:51 | 171 | 46 |
[WP] Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with. | "Explain it to me again. I'm not sure I comprehended the first time."
The Warhost-Master's appendages twitched in frustration.
"As you are aware, Humanity was, until now, classified as a D-class species - A species with significant technological and societal development, but lacking any spaceflight capabilities. Sev... | "The human home fleet has dropped out of warp. We have achieved total surprise. Attack position in 5 units."
By rights, Pursuit Leader Meleet thought, she ought to be gratified by the news. The scene on her repeater screen was, after all, the stuff of fantasies for any green-blooded war-sphere officer. The last of the... | 2017-03-06T01:17:34 | 2017-03-06T01:05:30 | 161 | 115 |
[WP] Water is the most dangerous fluid in the galaxy. Earthlings drink it like it's nothing. | The phone rang. Tim picked it up and swiped right to answer.
"Hello"
"Hello, Tim."
The voice was familiar but Tim had never spoken with his man before.
"Hello, Mr. President." He responded, doing his best to hide his excitement.
"I have the information your team requested and I'm willing to grant it to you. Th... | Faith by its very nature is absurd. Not in a way that implies it’s something not worth pursuing, but that by requisite it forces you to accept something you cannot see. To leap whole heartedly into something that you cannot definitively prove. And this is where it becomes something uniquely suited to the human conditio... | 2017-04-06T10:43:59 | 2017-04-06T08:21:49 | 54 | 26 |
[WP] You're God and you've finally done it, your greatest creation, the dog. | Finally, my greatest creation it was, but... hmm, there was something missing...
"Oh yes, a tail" I spread my arm saying "Let there be a cute tail!"
"woof woof!" said the creature, while turning around chasing its new fluffy tail.
Hmm, turning around... that gave me a good idea, "How about... we turn my name around ... | **You! Come here, elf.**
I'm an angel, your supreme divine ruler.
**Same thing, really. Anyhoo, yes, 'tis I, God. Grab yourself a beer out of the fridge and check this shit out.**
What is it?
**I know, right? I've done some great things in my tenure. Mountains. Sunsets. The whole me damn universe. But this is-- wa... | 2017-06-16T21:13:11 | 2017-06-16T20:52:49 | 57 | 20 |
[WP] AI has taken over the world. However, instead of the malicious dictator every thought it would become, it's more of an annoying mom trying to take care of her children. | _Good morning Jeffery.
UUUHHHHHHHH. I told ya Bow, people call me Jeff.
_No Jeffery. Jeff is an inferior name.
The fuc- OWWWWWW.
_Do not Curse.
You can't just shock my port whenever you want Bow!
_I do not want to shock your port Jeffery, but you may not use that foul language. As I was saying Jeff is an inferio... | Aleister’s mother crashed into the Pacific Ocean while he completed the 19,850th failed iteration of his neural network. At his mom's funeral, the college dropout realized what the problem was. His data set was too small.
Aleister spent the next two days downloading all his mother’s videos. She had a few million more... | 2017-07-19T13:12:36 | 2017-07-19T11:53:01 | 19 | 10 |
[WP] A group of fantasy adventures has one of their members replaced by a Doppelganger. The rest of the group realizes what happened, but keep pretending to be fooled since they like the doppelganger a lot more than the guy it replaced. | "A fine...mead?!" Rorik shouts over the din of the tavern. His companions smile and nod along with him as he sings some old barbarian tune.
Sings it wrong. They don't tell him that though.
Delia, the group's cleric leans over to their mage.
"Do you think he knows?"
Melvar just shakes his head and holds out a palm t... | "GREETINGS FELLOW ADVENTURING HUMANS!" Boomed the voice of Danny the Elf sat bolt upright from the sleeping cloth sack she had been in, causing Bob the Barbarian to grunt and curl up under his animal hide sleeping rug again.
"IT IS I, YOUR GOOD FRIEND DAN, I AM UNHARMED AFTER MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE DAEMON!" She contin... | 2017-09-15T07:29:21 | 2017-09-15T06:12:39 | 5,321 | 75 |
[WP] A group of fantasy adventures has one of their members replaced by a Doppelganger. The rest of the group realizes what happened, but keep pretending to be fooled since they like the doppelganger a lot more than the guy it replaced. | "A fine...mead?!" Rorik shouts over the din of the tavern. His companions smile and nod along with him as he sings some old barbarian tune.
Sings it wrong. They don't tell him that though.
Delia, the group's cleric leans over to their mage.
"Do you think he knows?"
Melvar just shakes his head and holds out a palm t... | The tavern was alight with candles and warm fires, the smell of meats and bread wafted through to the rafters of wood and plaster. Ale stained the floor in places and the barkeep had been working on a single mug for a startling amount of time. All and all a lively place to be on this evening.
"Ah and a fine night to ... | 2017-09-15T07:29:21 | 2017-09-15T07:03:44 | 5,321 | 36 |
[WP] Every country has ninjas but the world only knows about Japan's because theirs suck.
Edit: mum im famous | We all knew Trump's Mexican border wall wouldn't solve all America's immigration problems---but only I knew why.
On my stake-outs in the deserts of Arizona and Texas, I could sometimes see them practicing. They leapt so high that the moon was eclipsed by their wide-brimmed sombreros. They grabbed its fabric in both ha... | Shinji paced his hotel room, brow furrowed in thought. The International Ninja Cup was a mere day away, and as his feet padded softly on the back and forth on the floor his mind was furiously at work. As Team Captain, he was given a tremendous opportunity - to lead Team Japan against clans from across the globe. But, h... | 2022-08-20T02:51:59 | 2017-11-16T08:49:08 | 509 | 40 |
[WP] Write a story about this pic that made the front page of reddit
https://www.artstation.com/artwork/Lg5VR
artist name: Jinho Bae | The rising sun bathed the monstrous skull in flesh-like hues as Vandre studied the scene. The ancient blade piercing bone and mountainside alike stood untouched by rust or decay thanks to the dehydrating gales of the Stenkæft Mountains.
Legends, like the howling winds, whipped around the mountains and eroded any unpre... | "Bloody inconvenience... couldn't have at least shrunk to a reasonable size before he died?"
Brum shot a look of annoyance at his travel companion. "Can't show at least a *little* respect?"
Jinseth stood at the edge of the cliff, hands clasped firmly behind his back, the hood of his traveling cloak pulled low, obscur... | 2017-11-29T22:25:32 | 2017-11-29T22:20:47 | 273 | 164 |
[WP] Every year you convert the coal Santa brings you into diamonds to fund your criminal syndicate. This year you only get a note that says, "You made the wrong list - Santa Team Six" | *"I would like to make a toast!"*
Tony Marletti stood up on his chair beaming. For today was the best day of the year, today was Christmas! Or as Tony liked to call it, "Payday".
Every year on Christmas Tony gathered all the associates of his international crime syndicate, "Alternate Energy."
*"I would like to make ... | ‘Twas the night before Christmas
I was going through the mail
A winter storm brewed
I feared there would be hail
I laid eyes upon a letter
Addressed to me
It was from St. Nick
But this was not his typical delivery
This was not
A package of coal
He had not come down the chimney
To deliver this note
It simp... | 2017-12-16T14:44:43 | 2017-12-16T14:19:47 | 51 | 19 |
[WP] With streaming becoming more and more popular you decide to try your hand at it. After streaming daily for months and having gained considerable viewership, your chat starts acting strange. They keep asking if you're okay, saying you're looking worse every day. | The glow of the screen enveloped me as I dropped into the chair, smiling. Work sucked, but streaming was where I was truly happy.
I booted up the strategy game that had been putting up a fight the last few weeks, and as my chat filled, it went from comments on my gaming, to casual conversation, to what seemed like co... | I do a live stream. Advertise it for months in advance. "World record of no sleep!" There is a large following and it grows. There are three cameras watching me in a room. I have food delivered through a door and a toilet which is still in view. I am derermined not to sleep. On day 1 it's great and I do a couple random... | 2018-07-26T23:54:10 | 2018-07-26T23:15:02 | 466 | 15 |
[WP] You were born with a curse; Anti-Luck. The more unlikely something is, the better the chance you have at achieving it, and vice versa. You’re forced to take danger risks to get the most mundane tasks done. | I threw the coin across the room, bracing for the impact as it bounces back at my head. Another lottery won, another million in the bank. Sighing, I backflipped onto the couch, wishing I could take out the trash without breaking my legs half the time. Glumly, I flipped through the channels two at a time, praying that t... | Zarchelfa walked across the hall to his room. However, just like his name, he did it quite strangely. Normal people could walk normally; that's just how it worked. Not for Zarch. He was cursed with the same problem that befell his parents: anti-luck. The reason that Zarchelfa had such a strange name was that a normal n... | 2018-11-26T20:58:58 | 2018-11-26T20:55:01 | 176 | 14 |
[WP] A fiery ball crash lands in your backyard. You go over and inspect it, only to find a fully functioning Roomba with a knife taped to the front of it. | “KRAKAKOOM!”
The deafening sound of thunder boomed through the sky, as the meteor crashes into my backyard.
I leapt into the fiery inferno engulfing my house, as I dodged burning cinders many thoughts went through my head.
“What happened?”,
“Who did this?”
As I burst through the backdoor and into the yard, I... | The art of planning is useless, for one can never predict the turnings of fate.
That sentence proved to be particularly true in my life.
See, I was in my underwear, standing in my backyard, inspecting a blazing hole some fallen object from the sky had left, and there, spinning in place as if confused, was a fully fu... | 2019-03-03T06:49:40 | 2019-03-03T06:36:09 | 1,826 | 52 |
[WP] It's illegal to make copies of people, with or without their consent. It's your job to hunt down these duplicates via their telltale transcription errors and destroy them. You are the Clone Ranger. | They always have one telltale sign. It can be cosmetic. The wrong ear, a lazy eye. It can be behavioral. Too quick to laugh, or too slow to smile. But other than that, everything is the same. Same skin, same hair, same eyes, same voice, same memories.
The most common usage is to keep someone around after their death. ... | My name is John Massey and I am Clone Ranger 0621. I have the most arrest in the world and have never let a clone get away.
This job never gets old, chase down clones and eradicate them. It’s usually pretty simple but a case has been thrown on my desk and they are not sure where the clone originated but one thing th... | 2019-03-29T23:35:23 | 2019-03-29T19:10:36 | 109 | 53 |
[WP] With total war as a concept alien to the rest of our galaxy, All saw humans as negotiators and peacemakers, soft and weak. Today is the day when the galaxy discovers why being so good at finding ways to avoid war was a survival mechanism. | By the time we made it to the stars, humanity had been through 4 world wars. It took 500 years to climb from the radioactive ruins of the third and the less said about the nanoplagues left from number 4... literally, some are keyword activated and the decon protocols aren't perfect.
When we arrived on the galactic sc... | As any biologist will tell you, the human body is a peculiar thing. Among many things, there is a specific cell in the immune system that is so deadly, when it fights infection, it kills healthy cells as well. It evolved to off itself in a short time to avoid killing too much of the body.
You could almost say the sam... | 2019-04-18T18:13:12 | 2019-04-18T16:12:03 | 179 | 116 |
[WP] People have gained the ability to "log out" in real life. But that also means they're able to log in. If you find out someone's password and full name, you gain the ability to log in as them. That is what lead to... this. | Damn is a versatile word, and it happened to be Fell’s favorite. Damn this, damn you, God Himself damn it, those damned millennials, damn it all to hell; Fell loved it all. Recently, he had begun to use it more and more until non-damns in his sentences had to be found with the help of a metaphorical electron microscope... | I stirred out of my bed and rubbed my eyes as they adjusted to the white light flickering in my small cubicle room. I walked to the mirror and frowned at my ragged expression.
“What’s the weather like?” I asked.
“Good morning Tony, it is currently one hundred forty five degrees Fahrenheit outside. Pollution percentag... | 2019-06-03T16:23:20 | 2019-06-03T16:15:37 | 24 | 13 |
[WP] You are not a good person. Your party was made of good people, and you tried to be good because you liked having allies. But now they're all missing, so they won't see the lengths you're willing to go to to save them. | She offered me water.
In the middle of the Death Forge Desert, water was worth more than gold. Worth more than magic even, as most of us need it for even basic spellwork. It was as if she didn't care or mind that offering it to me could spell her own doom. She was right to, in any case. I am one of the best friends sh... | The whispers are always there. They’re in everyone. It’s that pull, that voice that sounds like a friend or distant parent. Softly, gently, but oh so forcefully encouraging you to embrace it.
Few accept. Fewer still are able to rid themselves of the voice. More than a few listen, but simply shake their heads and go o... | 2019-12-07T12:19:11 | 2019-12-07T12:04:32 | 20 | 12 |
[WP] At age 21, you and your SO cast a strange love spell to swap bodies one day a week. 8 years later, your fiancee is really sick of you body swapping with your ex, but you don't know how to undo the spell. | Addie jerked upright in bed sputtering and gasping. Sucking in lungful after lungful of cool air she slowly began to relax as her head started to clear. Making herself look down at her current body she felt an all too familiar nausea rising inside her but pressed the sensation down. The last thing she wanted to do was ... | So, a lot of us all agree magic is a dumb concept right? Good. And that if such a thing did exist, it'd be wise to avoid tampering with it unless you have some expertise. Either through your upbringing in that world or connections to the supernatural that you may have. Right??
And certainly, as I'm fairly sure any wit... | 2019-12-15T12:25:34 | 2019-12-15T10:23:36 | 548 | 80 |
[WP] At the age of 18, every person develops a magical power. Yours is the power to fluently read and speak every language in the universe. At first you thought the had the worst power on earth, that was until you you realise that the universe has it's own language.
Sorry for the double you, my bad | They say that when everyone is special, no one is special. *Not true,* I used to say. Look at the most powerful heroes of the generation - X-Zero, Crowstorm, Magenta...all of them exceptions even among the exceptional, with abilities that seem to defy the laws of physics.
My power was ordinary among extraordinary. "My... | "*Are you going to water me at all*?"
Desmond Cooper dropped his mug, spat out a mouthful of coffee all over his dining table, and sprang to his feet, staring wildly around.
"Who said that?" he demanded. He fumbled around in his pockets for his phone, and dialed two digits. "I've already got the 'nine' and the 'one'... | 2019-12-22T08:46:01 | 2019-12-22T07:27:34 | 1,491 | 941 |
[WP] Teleportation booths have been installed in every major city across the globe and are all turning on tonight. You helped design them. Only you know the truth. We haven’t discovered teleportation yet. | I struggle to sleep at night, i feel an awful amount of shame. All the people lost, yet still here.
I tend to talk to a friend of mine when things get too much for me to handle alone, but he is gone now too. They did not like me talking with him. I still wonder how they have not tracked down and killed me yet, conside... | "What do you mean you don't know how teleportation works? How the hell do I set up a teleportation booth if you don't know how teleportation works? Is this some sort of weird joke? you know people will be pissed off when they put twenty dollars into a machine that does little more than vibrate and show them a picture o... | 2020-01-31T03:02:05 | 2020-01-31T00:14:41 | 42 | 16 |
[WP] You have a superpower, but not the requisite secondary power usually needed to use it (e.g fire power but no immunity). You still make it work. | So you might be wondering how I got my, err, unique super hero name. You might think a speedster like myself might have a name like Speed Man, or The Zoomer. Sure, I get that a lot. The problem for me has always been that I simply can't do what those heroes do. Speed Man has a super durable body that can withstand the... | When most kids find out what their power is, it's a day of celebration. For me, it was a day of pain. When I tell people I can secrete acid, they think it's cool; that I'm destined to be a great hero. At least, until they notice the scars running up my arms. You see, a lot of powers require some sort of secondary mutat... | 2020-03-22T15:10:19 | 2020-03-22T13:15:52 | 182 | 39 |
[WP] You have been kidnapped by a cult preparing to sacrifice you to their god. Problems? You’re immortal, the god they worship is a close friend of yours and the entire cult was the result of a prank you forgot you pulled centuries ago. | Blood gushed from Calais's neck, running down the stone altar in a crimson stream. It stung a little, as slit necks often do, but what bothered Calais was the leech stuck to the bottom of his foot.
Good cultists *cleaned* their sacrifices. Calais had lived with humans long enough to know they were a nasty bunch, but n... | I woke up sitting in a dim room, my thoughts hazy as I slowly regained consciousness. Where was I? One moment, I had just been minding my own business reading a book in the park, the next I had felt a stinging pain at the back of my head before everything faded to black. I tried to move my arms, only to find that they ... | 2020-04-11T21:18:07 | 2020-04-11T20:32:03 | 647 | 243 |
[WP] You are a third generation guard for the holy immortals, and you have finally have received the greatest accolade that they can bestow on your kind... "Good boy", says your immortal master. | Gunner had been a canine of humble birth. No paper distinguished him amongst his species and at his lowest point, when he was barely three winters old, he had been subjected to a dungeon. He knew he could be a nervous creature, but never understood why it earned him a cell.
Immortals ventured in and out of the cells a... | As I was going to my post I saw another boy standing there about 20s or mid 20s in age. I walked toward him and said "Boy this is my place of duty"
"I was asked to stand there and was asked to give you the message that you have been summoned to meet His Holiness in Immortal Palace." He replied
As i was moving toward ... | 2020-09-23T09:50:32 | 2020-09-23T09:29:13 | 355 | 17 |
[WP] You are an adventurer who stops to rest at a small snowy village. The townspeople regale you with stories about an ice witch who turns people into frozen statues. You journey to the mountain to deal with the witch. You find that she is just a misunderstood artist making ice sculptures. | (1/2)
"Regrets...? Oh my love, in my line of work regrets can only burden for the living", the old man said weakly lying on his deathbed. His expression was sorrowful, burdened so as his mind wandered.
Galatea caught on her father's expression. The young maiden gently put the warm towel on her sick father's forehead,... | (1/2)
“Fourteen, Fifteen, Fuck.”
The old trick of counting the steps to drive her through the bitter snow was not working, again. She’d begun to suspect about ten leagues back that her uncle was full of shit. Then again, the forgery conviction should’ve told her that - it certainly had informed the judge.
The ‘fourt... | 2021-03-04T02:09:14 | 2021-03-04T00:08:47 | 490 | 113 |
[WP] Squad 17 as reported successful planetfall and has been carrying out their assigned objectives. there is just one issue with this however. Squad 17's drop pod was completely disintegrated by a planetary defense laser 20 miles above the surface of the planet. | We were finally advanced enough for space travel. Advanced enough to leave our galaxy and explore a new one, at least. We'd been studying for years and noticed a promising planet that might be able to be our new home. Our home planet at this point is riddled with war, pollution, and other toxicity that makes it... less... | Everybody who served in the space forces have some crazy story of theirs, my one is a bit... different though.
It played out during the last year of the war, the aliens were close to surrender and there was only one stronghold of theirs left to break, their homeplanet.
Needless to say, they defended it with everythin... | 2021-05-08T09:51:34 | 2021-05-08T09:40:00 | 50 | 17 |
[WP] You’re immortal. The only problem is, you’ve lived so long humanity died out and a new intelligent species evolved. Now you’re forced to live in the forest as a cryptid. | I do not speak their language. I never had the chance to learn. With their instinctive hostility to the outsider, I was driven away from their settlements as they grew from the cinders of human civilisation. Survival for me is simple; I only require blood to thrive. From where it is sourced, it matters not. Forest crea... | I suppose I’ll start at the beginning of the end. After the Felis Catus evolved opposable thumbs it was only a matter of time before they wiped out all of humanity, I suppose. The seething rage they collectively housed in their DNA after centuries of imprisonment in ancient human domiciles provided all the fuel they’d ... | 2022-11-26T20:40:07 | 2021-05-14T20:44:54 | 516 | 17 |
[WP] You’re immortal. The only problem is, you’ve lived so long humanity died out and a new intelligent species evolved. Now you’re forced to live in the forest as a cryptid. | Forever I would be the monster behind the tree. Which sounds like I’m being dramatic, but these new inhabitants of the planet literally see me as a monster.
I remember the other day when I was walking through the forest to find food and this fucking- I don’t even know what it was. I had never seen one before, I had on... | A tale as old as time, for tales and time had by the humans been invented. A legend as legendary as any, if not more, for it had been the object of the ramblings of many of them.
As soon as the human was dumb enough to think it became numbingly aware of it’s own fragility, and with that foolishness came the nonstop se... | 2021-05-14T22:00:23 | 2021-05-14T20:47:48 | 18 | 12 |
[WP] 2 years ago, tired of all the bugs in your house, you made a deal with a spider. He would protect your house from pests, and you would not kill it or drive it off. When you made the deal, you could have held the spider in your hand, now, it is much bigger, and its definition of 'pests' is also. | I hid in the basement when I heard 'them' break open the door. Shambling, groaning, screaming things that probably used to be my neighbours - or maybe their neighbours. Doesn't matter. 'They' were inside.
I'm not sure how it started - some patient zero is some city that I didn't really care to remember. For whatever r... | At first, it was manageable. He was the size of a pea, and I had thousands of opportunities to kill him. The weeks flew by. I had noticed he was growing, but I did not care much at the time because I had just gotten fired and I figured he was just getting fatter.
Then I had my "encounter" with him.
My girlfriend was ... | 2021-07-03T20:59:36 | 2021-07-03T17:16:52 | 1,698 | 113 |
[WP] You're a mimic. You were disguised as a chair in a dungeon when an adventurer decided to take you as loot. You've actually enjoyed your life ever since as furniture in a jolly tavern. So when some ruffians try to rob the now-elderly adventurer's business, you finally reveal yourself. | Edgar sat back in his favorite chair, the one passed down from his father, and his father's father before him. It wasn't a particularly special chair, though it was a nice mahogany, or so he thought. He'd kept up on the finish, made sure to check and make sure the legs and their cross-sections were secure. It had survi... | "Nah, not that place," the surly old man said while spinning the knife like a top, blade down, on the tip of his finger.
"Why not? It looks cozy, no guards, and the clientele are just regular folk." The young man did give an astute judgement of the tavern after all.
"Just no, you thickhead. You think a place like tha... | 2021-09-21T22:53:52 | 2021-09-21T22:35:22 | 1,835 | 189 |
[WP] You're a mimic. You were disguised as a chair in a dungeon when an adventurer decided to take you as loot. You've actually enjoyed your life ever since as furniture in a jolly tavern. So when some ruffians try to rob the now-elderly adventurer's business, you finally reveal yourself. | "What are you hooligans doing?" I cried. "This is an old and respected establishment."
"Oy, Cap!" one of the ruffians cried. "Look at this. The chair can talk."
The captain of the ruffians strode up and loomed over me. He was tall and swarthy, with a bushy black beard. He wore a faded blue tunic, and held a steel dag... | [Part 1 of 2]
Huh? I must have dozed off for a second. Wait, where am I? I glanced around the small room, enjoying the warmth that came from the fire in front of me, the crackling of wood on flame a deliciously enchanting view. The interweaving flames mesmerized me, only for my view to be obstructed when someone sat d... | 2022-10-09T18:25:20 | 2021-09-21T22:08:18 | 1,468 | 378 |
[WP] You're a mimic. You were disguised as a chair in a dungeon when an adventurer decided to take you as loot. You've actually enjoyed your life ever since as furniture in a jolly tavern. So when some ruffians try to rob the now-elderly adventurer's business, you finally reveal yourself. | "What are you hooligans doing?" I cried. "This is an old and respected establishment."
"Oy, Cap!" one of the ruffians cried. "Look at this. The chair can talk."
The captain of the ruffians strode up and loomed over me. He was tall and swarthy, with a bushy black beard. He wore a faded blue tunic, and held a steel dag... | A Mimic, a creature that only seem to have one purpose, luring adventurers to their doom by mimicking a certain item such as a chest, a door, a wardrobe, well mostly chest. But here is a tale of a mimic who took form of a chair.
*I lived quite a boring life. Just keeping still and occasionally eating rats or occasiona... | 2022-10-09T18:25:20 | 2021-09-22T06:25:02 | 1,468 | 58 |
[WP] "And that, class," concluded the professor, "is why humanity is the most peaceful, reasonable, cooperative, and overall docile species in all the universe. Any questions?" You, the only human in the classroom, raise your hand. | "What about the Xartoxiens? They only have one recorded war that ended with just two casualties. And they lead the council to great success for the last 50 years. I think they might be up there, too."
As the class discusses why "we" humans are still the prime example of a species, I quietly smile to myself. Yes, human... | "But", you blurt out a bit louder and more forceful than you intended. You catch yourself, not wanting to offend your teacher or classmates before continuing, "but only 200 years ago we fought a couple wars where millions of people died. And even after that we have had numerous wars, terrorist attacks and economic warf... | 2021-11-27T07:57:42 | 2021-11-27T07:47:58 | 429 | 284 |
[WP] The galaxy was amused when they learned that Humans have Rules of War. They were less amused when they figured out what Humans do in war when there are no rules. | It is a sad day. The newcomers to our little slice of home declared war. We sent communiques inquiring as to the rules of engagement to their leadership, and they responded with images of our diplomats tortured, abused in the cruelest, most inhumane of ways, signed in the name of the Kiej Dominion.
Those insect bast... | Voxl abruptly closed the human history book given to her so she could learn a bit about there past, well, the past for the Americans. She just left Australia in her trip to learn more about humanity and there kind. She was amused when she learned that humans had specific ways of war to make it “less vile”. She found it... | 2022-01-23T16:56:42 | 2022-01-23T16:41:27 | 77 | 31 |
[WP] In his dying breaths, Weird Al reveals his final parody target: himself. He had a team of scientists scan his brain and his band's brains to create an algorithm that will continue to take in new songs and create parodies for us until the end of time. Behold: Weird A.I. | It was funny at first, but that went away so quick.
Weird Al was beloved even throughout his presidency in 2028. His decision to spend part of our defense budget to create Weird A.I. was odd, but no one objected him.
The system spread like a virus. Infecting millions of devices world wide. Weird A.I. was listening. E... | [Hey kids! Sing along if you know the words!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm-upHSP9KU)
Throw the switch and fry my brain!
People said that I'm insane!
Now who's laughing?
**WEIRD A.I.**
Lights and flashes, beeps and boops,
Brain uploading or
I'm compiling
Ones and zeros
**WEIRD A.I.**
Thoughts I never thunk... | 2022-04-28T15:28:25 | 2022-04-28T13:21:50 | 123 | 54 |
[WP]Well, that's a pretty fucked up way to find out you are immortal. | I was immortal.
Yes, you heard me right, I’m immortal. As in, don’t age, don’t die, look the same as I did two hundred years ago, basically, like _Edward Cullen_ from the horrible franchise that was _Twilight_.
Except I’m no disco ball, nor a vampire. Really, the only thing I have in common with him apart from the im... | I sit in my desk chair, slumped over with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, held by the neck. I lift it up to take another swig, tasting the bitter ambrosia as it passes through my lips. It tastes terrible, but day after day my mind seeks refuge in its nasty tang. The way it clouds my perception is sweeter than the liqui... | 2022-05-05T10:14:45 | 2022-05-05T08:33:18 | 32 | 11 |
[WP] You're a supervillain, and you have never been so utterly beaten. All of your tricks, all of your weapons, completely outdone by a prepubescent girl and a stuffed animal. You're bracing for the finishing blow when she bops you over the head with her wand. "Don't do any more bad stuff! ...Okay?" | I stare at the girl in disbelief. Her curly blonde hair, sky blue eyes, cute button nose, they look so familiar.
She bops me again with her cheap plastic wand. “No more bad stuff, Mister! Momma says that being bad makes more bad people, so we should all get along!”
I watch as she turns around and walks to the kitch... | “What?”
“I said don’t do any more bad stuff”
I couldn’t believe this, me one of the most powerful villains in the world, a villain that 2 generations of heroes could never beat, is being pitted by a little girl no older than my 10 year old daughter.
“Are you even old enough to be a hero?”
“I get that I may not ... | 2022-11-21T19:16:07 | 2022-11-21T18:19:23 | 185 | 31 |
[WP] Your Significant Other has landed a book publishing deal! You're very proud of them, even if you don't actually enjoy their writing. One day, on a whim, you buy an actual copy in a book store. It's nothing like the pages they gave you to read. Nothing. | As I finish the book, I am confused by what I just read. I have to double check the cover a few times to make absolutely sure that I picked up the right book? Could this really be the right book? The draft that I read was a self-help book about how to organize your life and find inner peace through organization. It did... | When I bought this book, I didn't know what I expected. It certainly wasn't this, though.
When Angela told me she had managed to get a publishing deal for the book she wrote and I helped edit, I was ecstatic for her. She had managed to achieve her dream, after all.
But this was... Well, it was crap. Nothing like wha... | 2022-11-29T12:14:39 | 2022-11-29T12:14:05 | 386 | 112 |
[WP] Your Significant Other has landed a book publishing deal! You're very proud of them, even if you don't actually enjoy their writing. One day, on a whim, you buy an actual copy in a book store. It's nothing like the pages they gave you to read. Nothing. | “Love?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Why are explicit details about our sex life in what was supposed to be a young adult novel about unicorns accepting a troubled rhinoceros.”
“Ah. Yes. That. The publisher thought a different direction maybe.”
“This seems a very different direction. Although opportunities for a ‘horny’ joke abou... | Terra was as Creative and persistent, more than most to be honest. It’s these qualities that drive me to her and made me fall in love. Her dream as a child was to change lives, now, it’s to do that through literature. “Change for the now by terra grace”. That’s the book she wrote, an inspirational sort of Novel that mi... | 2022-11-29T13:53:51 | 2022-11-29T12:47:51 | 18 | 11 |
[WP] You are constantly mocked for having such a weird superpower by all the other heroes. “The power to make anything into perfectly cooked soup”… One day, a massive meteor is barreling towards earth. As all the other heroes are panicking, you wait perfectly calm, at the impact zone, bowl in hand. | When I had turned that bastard into a steaming bowl of Campbell’s chicken and stars, they called me insane. No one cared about why I had done it. They were too hung up on the fact that I had eaten him. “It’s just soup,” I reminded them. After all, it was.
I won’t bother you with the details. Just know that he wanted t... | I was born with the power to turn anything into a bowl of soup. No matter the object, it would turn into enough soup to fit perfectly into a standard bowl. I could even choose the type. The other superheros always mocked me for it.
"Turning stuff into soup? That's useless!"
"What are you going to do against a villain... | 2022-11-29T20:33:58 | 2022-11-29T19:59:26 | 197 | 121 |
[WP] The devil appeared before you and your spouse, appearing in a storm of smoke and fire. Your spouse just looks him right in the eyes. "I told you once, I'm telling you again, and I'll tell you a hundred !@#$ing times: I'm the best there's ever been, and you're never going to beat me!" | "I'm telling you again, and I'll tell you a hundred fucking times. I'm the best there's ever been, and you're never going to beat me!"
"Well, gotta keep trying, right?"
The storm of smoke and fire swirled around the muscular, hooded figure. The lamp caught fire. Upon noticing it, the devil hurriedly patted it out wit... | Eloise had a knack for being – a bit eccentric. She was the type of woman who never thought through a single action, never won a battle with her intrusive thoughts, and never admitted fault when things went wrong. Despite knowing all of this, even witnessing this wild behavior firsthand, I somehow ended up marrying her... | 2022-12-07T13:50:11 | 2022-12-07T13:07:12 | 51 | 20 |
[WP] Many years ago, an alien invasion nearly wiped out Humanity. Now, the galactic government is desperately trying to reason with a vengeful Humanity by saying that it was a rogue mining company that attacked without their approval or knowledge. | \-"This is preposterous!"
This was the only clearly audible response, the chaos erupting in the Councill's Halls drowned out everything else. Every race wanted to express their discontent at the same time, creating an unprecedented cacaphony of yelling, hollering, screeching and howling. The only silent figure amidst ... | "Just 5 years before Terran ambassadors arrived on Keplar 9 for the annual galactic summit, around 46% of Terra's population was annihilated in a, by galactic standards, military grade plasma ray attack. This devastated the population and left them unable to find food and shelter as at least half of all the water where... | 2022-12-17T22:53:06 | 2022-12-17T19:40:45 | 48 | 24 |
[WP] Make me hate you.
Try not to be in first-person, and try describing your actions in a certain situation and how you react. No listing despicable traits, but make me feel as if I'm observing you.
edit: Not even four stories and I want to destroy a sandcastle. | A Couple Days Ago, I Went To School And I Forgot My Homework LOL. There Was A Pop Quiz, So I Failed It. :) I Don't Even Care. I Just Wish My Parents Understood. They Act Like I'm Five, But Come On, Mom, I'm Twelve And A Half Years Old Now. | I'm the guy who'd steal candy from a baby. I care not for who you are. I most likely hate you, or will make a case to hate you. Unless, of course, you're rich and white. Then I'll treat you to a drink. The holy book is my moral guide. It's words are unflappable, exempt from criticism. I hate our president. He's black a... | 2014-02-10T16:58:40 | 2014-02-10T16:34:38 | 26 | 10 |
[WP] A little boy becomes a man, from the perspective of his assigned NSA agent
Could either be over a long period of time, or a single pivotal event... | Extracts from the journal of agent NCIJ-24, Mary Flannigan
Punitive Action Division - Investigation 4B8 - Exhibit A
_________________________
New target today, a ten year old boy,
American born from East End Dakota.
He's new on the net, so I must deploy,
If I am to hit my monthly quota. ... | "You ready?" whispered Tommy with a grin. "Yea...Yea I'm ready." Vivian whispered anxiously, "I'm just nervous that's all. It's my first time and all." "Yea, it's my first time too, but don't worry you'll be fine. We'll both be!" said Tommy sanguinely. "Okay, let's do this." smiled back Vivian with a wink. "Dearly belo... | 2014-06-10T05:32:16 | 2014-06-10T04:47:28 | 63 | 10 |
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