prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 226 10k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.43k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.26k |
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[WP] Your power is that anyone will believe what you say, no matter what it is. You casually rob the store, assuring everyone that nothing is out of the ordinary, and later laugh as you offer an outlandish explanation to the flabbergasted police. | I have done things I'm not proud of. I've lived like a wolf among sheep, a god among mortals, a monster among innocents. People have lost everything because of me. I’ve seen the tears in the eyes of families whose houses I wanted, the fear in the stance of men and women I’ve robbed for everything they had ever worked t... | "Listen, I was just going to get thi sdown to the local orphanage."
"Oh, okay, fair enou- WAIT! WE DON'T HAVE AN ORPHANAGE!"
I always use my most outlandish idea, just makes the reward all the best better. "Oh, yeah you're right, I was going to deposit this in my house to further spend on other things to bolster the ... | 2020-03-06T11:47:32 | 2020-03-06T10:30:59 | 269 | 10 |
[WP] At the age of 16 everyone gets teleported into a small room. In front of you is a table with all kinds of meals from apples to gourmet meats. Whatever you take a bite of will determine what superpower you'll get. You are the first Person to take a bite of the table itself | Through the years the great coming of age feast was always looked forward to by everyone. Every power was known due to having being tried at least once and due to variety of different cultures. The people all knew very well what they know they will get before hand. Some families pick a food that is their traditional ch... | "This is the opposite of Santa Claus," I said to myself, as I shambled alone through an endless white expanse.Some things you believe as a child, then one day you realize it was all a game for children. With the *transition,* well, I have to admit I never believed it. Yet there I was and it seemed as real as anything.*... | 2020-03-19T10:28:48 | 2020-03-19T09:29:08 | 103 | 29 |
[WP] At the age of 16 everyone gets teleported into a small room. In front of you is a table with all kinds of meals from apples to gourmet meats. Whatever you take a bite of will determine what superpower you'll get. You are the first Person to take a bite of the table itself | I might be a lil crazy but I’m thinking I shouldn’t bite anything . Everyone always bites what’s in front of them and the powers range from making seeds grow into flowers to making clones out of water to jumping through time for hours. Sarah’s right beside me and she just bit into this banana and now she’s teleporting ... | "This is the opposite of Santa Claus," I said to myself, as I shambled alone through an endless white expanse.Some things you believe as a child, then one day you realize it was all a game for children. With the *transition,* well, I have to admit I never believed it. Yet there I was and it seemed as real as anything.*... | 2020-03-19T10:15:15 | 2020-03-19T09:29:08 | 44 | 29 |
[WP] “Do not go outside. Ignore all the cries for help, no matter how human they sound.” That was the last thing he said before he shut the basement door. | “Don’t go outside. Ignore all the cries for help, no matter how human they sound,” her father said as he hefted the bloody axe into his hand. He started up the stairs out of the cellar and stopped. "You can always tell when they're not human, listen. Listen!"
“Papa, no—no they *are!* They are people!” she cried pullin... | My husband.
It calls to me. I hear him, yet I choose to ignore the voice. The voice has thick tendrils and a deep scream— and it sounds so much like my loved ones that I want to open the door and crash into their arms, but it sounds wet and slimy, and it'll leave eventually.
I hear my mother, again. She calls some... | 2020-04-26T08:20:00 | 2020-04-26T05:58:23 | 154 | 26 |
[WP] A person who is immortal, because they are so stupidly entertaining Death keeps extending their life just to see what shenanigans they will get into next.
EDIT: There is a good variety of responses here, from those who took the premise a bit too seriously to those who ran with it and made it hilarious. I had a lo... | Martin had seen death at his doorstep... he was there to congratulate him on his 100th close death. His bony hands extended in front holding a circular black cake with little skulls decorating the top.
Martin stopped in his tracks. Death usually only came to him when he had died, but today he made the first contact. ... | The bag of popcorn had just been poured into the bowl when I tuned to my favorite channel of the day. Movie Theater Butter, sprinkle in a little bit of salt. Delicious. Maybe not as fancy as your caramel-glazed popcorn dunked in batter, but it's an easy-to-make dinner if you know what you're doing.
I reclined in my ch... | 2020-05-05T23:45:40 | 2020-05-05T22:20:06 | 71 | 34 |
[WP] You are a mutant in Xavier's school for gifted youngsters with the power to teleport, well that's what you tell everyone. In reality you can pause time and you're not ready to be an omega class mutant. | All the students were getting up to leave class when he heard, "Matthew, might I speak to you for a moment?"
"Of course, Professor."
Professor Xavier had always been kind to him. Matthew long suspected that Xavier knew he was hiding his full potential but the professor never pushed the subject and treated Matthew li... | "What's up, Diego"
"Nothing, Mr Summers" he said rolling his eyes. If he was any other mutant Scott would've ignored him, but Diego, or as his classmates called him, Dio, was special. He had the special ability of teleportation, which in itself is extremely rare, but unlike his friend Kurt, Diego could do it effortles... | 2022-11-09T16:36:25 | 2020-07-15T05:19:54 | 9,106 | 72 |
[WP] You are a mutant in Xavier's school for gifted youngsters with the power to teleport, well that's what you tell everyone. In reality you can pause time and you're not ready to be an omega class mutant. | All the students were getting up to leave class when he heard, "Matthew, might I speak to you for a moment?"
"Of course, Professor."
Professor Xavier had always been kind to him. Matthew long suspected that Xavier knew he was hiding his full potential but the professor never pushed the subject and treated Matthew li... | “Oh god, come on move, please move!” A young boy yells in despair. Everything was frozen, before it always lasted a couple seconds but now? 30 minutes. Every minute felt as if it was its own branch of eternity, as he could see things stuck right before emotion.
His teacher was named Kurt Wagner, also known as Nightcr... | 2022-11-09T16:36:25 | 2020-07-15T05:56:18 | 9,106 | 66 |
[WP] He rushes onwards like a bloody tempest, destroying all in an attempt to free you from the stake that binds you to the pyre at your feet. For before he was a Hero, he was the boy that gave you flowers. And before you were exposed and branded a Witch, you were the girl that taught him love. | Tatianna, bound to the pyre as she was, couldn’t so much as turn her head. So when a pair of blue eyes met hers from across the field, there was nowhere to look. Alastir Lagon, High Disciple of the Shan Temple, saw her. Shock came first. His eyes slipped from hers as he seized a black coated Hunter, dragging the man fo... | Carmen heard the shouts of the soldiers at first she had heard the cardinal giving her last rites before they carried out the sentence. But now she heard soldiers shouting. She opened her eyes and saw a miraculous thing it was Ben running toward her riding a beast of some sort her Ben was coming to rescue her. Carmens ... | 2020-11-16T05:06:48 | 2020-11-16T05:05:51 | 134 | 13 |
[WP] It was a freak accident, but you died. As you stand over your body someone steps next to you and speaks. "I'll send you back if you do me a favor." | For every moment in your life, there's a non-zero percent chance to die.
Of course, full-throttling a motorbike with failing brakes down Mt. Everest, dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts is much more likely to send you to the afterlife than taking a step; but, how many people do either.
Of the near eight billi... | Golden french toast, dripping with maple syrup. The real kind. His wife placed a plate of crispy bacon next to it. Crispy bacon aroma filled the air. The pan she used to fry the crispy bacon was still sizzling deliciously with bacon fat.
'Dig in!' she announced to their grinning daughter.
'I'm going to miss this,' ... | 2020-12-15T07:42:35 | 2020-12-15T07:37:03 | 46 | 20 |
[WP] After hearing complaints countless times the hero just turns himself in and goes to prison. Now that the villains are destroying the city and running wild everyone is trying the convince the hero to come out and save the day. But the hero is not having any of this shit | The mayor came to visit me four times during my incarceration. I remember each one perfectly and marked them on the humble calendar the warden allowed me in my cell.
The first time was a week after I was officially locked up as they strutted in with a grin on their lips and an aura of smugness so thick that you could... | " We need you more than ever. Archemist" Said Mayor Johnson as he stood just on the other side of my cell in solitary. He was flanked by his aide some pencel pusher named Needlemyer along with Chief Windgate and D.A. Evens. All of them looked tired and haggard with the chief nursing what looked like a black eye and bro... | 2021-03-18T22:36:33 | 2021-03-18T22:17:24 | 27 | 12 |
[WP] When a woman is married, she fully becomes part of the family she marries into. Last name, customs, DNA. Everything. So you have been exclusively courting dragons.
half inspired by [this post](https://old.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/nbiu2t/yeah_sure/), half inspired by Marge Simpson's misunderstanding. | “When I grow up, I want to be a dragon!” I told my parents.
My father, looked toward my mother and raised a brow. She sighed, nodded, and spoke, “Little blossom, did you know that I was not always an elf?”
Being curious about this, I reply, “You’ve always said that, but never what it means.”
“Indeed,” my mother gain... | For a moment, the sound of the great wings beating made Lena think the mountain was splitting open. The earth trembled at the very least. Or... maybe she did.
The setting sun vanished behind the silhouette of the swooping beast; on the mountain ridge, only flecks of gold and orange — a fire crackling beneath a roastin... | 2021-05-13T13:47:55 | 2021-05-13T13:19:05 | 1,821 | 372 |
[WP]For a thousand years a truce between our world and the demon world has held. Thousands die as the demons break the truce and attack, but they forgot the truce was to protect them from one of us… a special one… | We had been seeing first signs for months now. Birds behaving strangely just before full moon. Increased reports of cultist activity and people gone missing. Dreadful discoveries of mutilated sacrificial bodies. We knew they were coming.
But we prepared over the years as well, secretely keeping our own cult alive - i... | Love,war,death and mother fucking demons. You see demons and us humans have always had problems but when he arrived well the demons got a bit more eager for peace.
But they decided after 10 thousand years that peace was a bad option, that peace was something moronic created by humans and ther demon ancestors, so they b... | 2021-06-12T23:06:11 | 2021-06-12T15:25:08 | 30 | 15 |
[WP] A demon just devoured your soul. You are both very confused as to why you are still alive. | The demon's metallic claws flashed in the candlelight. In hindsight, the summoning had been a mistake. Julia regretted not actually reading the warnings in the book, but in her defense, there were eight and a half pages of warnings.
"You have made a grave mistake summoning one of the soulless!" the demon spat while ri... | "Mm, why, that was far from the most underwhelming burden of sin that I've been made privy to"
I could feel its evil presence, grasping and caressing the very essence of my existence
It would have disgusted me, if I still had a heart to care
The demon made a show of smacking his lips, seemingly delighted with the q... | 2021-10-06T10:15:34 | 2021-10-06T08:41:55 | 1,250 | 68 |
[WP] You have spent the last few years learning and mastering morse code. You leave a small cafe at night and walk your way home. As you walk, it starts to rain. While the heavy rain starts to hit the ground, it sounds familiar to you. You realise the rain is telling you to run. | Drip drop drip.
I turned my collar up against the rain. Dammit, I should have taken an umbrella. If only I could remember where I’d left it. The street was dimly lit, and unfamiliar. My clothes were thin and clung to my skin.
Drip drip drop.
For some reason I began to notice rhythm of the rain. It didn’t feel…ri... | You have spent the last few years learning and mastering morse code. You leave a small cafe at night and walk your way home. As you walk, it starts to rain. While the heavy rain starts to hit the ground, it sounds familiar to you. You realise the rain is telling you to run.
You feel a sense of dread wash over you, a c... | 2021-10-20T08:13:31 | 2021-10-20T07:34:12 | 82 | 19 |
[WP] You inhabit the body of a young prince that died from a fatal illness when he was barely at his teens. You learned to love his parents and you changed the world around you for the better. One day at your 17th birthday, a prophet from another court saw through you and revealed the truth. | "That's not Prince Vanyas, that's a spirit from another world, possessing his body!"
I froze. I knew that *something* would be happening at the peace conference, the Kingdom of Ixhul was definitely doing something shady, but this was too close to the truth to be a coincidence. I *was* a spirit from another world, ... | Fiction draws inspiration from reality.
And sometimes, the reality is stranger than fiction.
I used to scoff at poorly written MacGuffins that could act as Deus Ex Machina in the fantasy stories I used to read. ‘*How*’, I used to think, would a character lose sight of their core beliefs? How could the world be shatte... | 2022-06-29T12:17:42 | 2022-06-29T10:31:31 | 158 | 46 |
[WP] You are allowed to 'downvote' a government candidate instead of voting normally, reducing their votes by one. Turns out people have little love for politicians, and the majority end with negative votes. In these democracies, anonymity is the key to winning. | "I'm sorry, but we already have a candidate registered under the name Puppies Apple Pie, you'll have to choose a different pseudonym. Please choose something quickly, as we close in two minutes."
The elections office clerk was ancient. She had permed pink hair and was wearing glasses on a chain in a style that Julia c... | It was a rainy Monday and Josh Cleverly casually switched on his TV in dual channel mode to look at the results of the recent presidential election.
Fortunately, he had one of the new high-tech smart TVs that only truly started to become available 10 years ago in 2046 and he was able to watch CNN and Fox News at the s... | 2022-11-21T08:20:23 | 2022-11-21T08:03:51 | 448 | 47 |
[WP]: Click "random", and study the subreddit you got. Write about your discoveries like a victorian wilderness explorer | Dear Humphrey.
I know you're busy at the admiralty nowadays, but my latest discovery requires you most immediate attentions. What I've found in the wilderness of the *redd-it* regions are paramount to our empires security.
I was looking for the fabled gold that lies in the hills around here, but I stumbled across the... | [Random Acts of Pizza] www.reddit.com/r/RAOP
It's a very... strange place indeed. The people there seem to be very generous and also seem to enjoy the meal that is pizza. They carry on conversations about this one food item for what seems like ages. They talk about the toppings, sauces, and even the types of crust the... | 2014-03-17T16:21:30 | 2014-03-17T13:06:41 | 64 | 32 |
[WP] You have 30 seconds with an ancestor of yours from 200 years ago (1814), before they are transported back to their time. What do you say to them? What effect appears in our world because of it?
Consider for the sake of this prompt that they aren't totally freaked out by being plopped into 2014, that they can unde... | ## Change EVERYTHING
"Sir, you have fifteen seconds," the lady behind the counter said to me, "And remember, you are not allowed to disclose any information that may affect the future of this company. Should you attempt to do so, your ancestor will be terminated and you will be liable for the fullest extent of penalti... | Flash my ancestor appears.
I start immediately.
"Get a heavy duty safe, hide it in the farm house, put this in it" <I show him what to put in it drawn out on a sheet of paper>.
We use the next 20 seconds so he can commit the instructions to memory.
Flash he is gone.
I burn the paper, and set out for a road trip.
... | 2014-05-09T08:44:55 | 2014-05-09T08:07:26 | 70 | 22 |
[WP] You are a villain in a video game. The hero is using cheat codes, and you can't stand it any longer. | I respected you. How many times have we fought now? I've lost count. I remember when we began our eternal struggle. Your first few lives were hilariously disastrous. Your fastest death was seven seconds, to a pitfall if I recall correctly.
Up Up
Your inexperience wouldn't last for long, though. Sure, there we... | Listen, AAAAAAAAA, I know something funny is going on. I can't prove it, not concretely, but I know you're cheating.
I know it. I can feel it in every evil fiber and filament of my polygonal being.
I first began to suspect something was up when Zombie Hitler on the first floor of the castle was punched to death. R... | 2014-06-18T00:48:09 | 2014-06-18T00:30:51 | 338 | 133 |
[WP]Humanity's last act of defiance against a more advanced and powerful alien race. | Old one eye, still had a few tricks up his sleeve. He had waited centuries, he could wait a few more days...
The first inhabitants to colonize the blue planet, were utterly baffled by the lack of survivors. There was nothing there to indicate where the humans had gone, no resistance, simply an absence.
After a ... | After a long analysis of the sequence of events, our investigation has yielded that the destruction of the planet designated as G3X-C of the far Kreesm system was not an accident but in fact, a conscious action of self-termination. The orbital cannons that supposedly functioned as their last line of defense was redirec... | 2014-08-08T11:30:34 | 2014-08-08T09:30:11 | 38 | 28 |
[WP]Humanity's last act of defiance against a more advanced and powerful alien race. | Old one eye, still had a few tricks up his sleeve. He had waited centuries, he could wait a few more days...
The first inhabitants to colonize the blue planet, were utterly baffled by the lack of survivors. There was nothing there to indicate where the humans had gone, no resistance, simply an absence.
After a ... | "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Commander Ellecon. It has been a privelage to serve with you. As you can see, humanity has lost. We have failed to prevent our own extinction. Scouts have confirmed that our force is the last surving group of humans on Earth. So, I ask you, should we give them something to remember us by?... | 2014-08-08T11:30:34 | 2014-08-08T10:07:19 | 38 | 21 |
[WP] A man hands you a credit card, pulls out a pistol, and shoots himself. You look down just in time to see the name on the card change to yours. | Police Record of [REDACTED]'s Journal Following Incident [REDACTED]
08/22/20xx
Today I saw somebody die for the first time. Right in front of me. He handed me this...credit card...before blowing his brains out. I was just walking home from work like normal. I'm not sure what to do or who to tell. When the police show... | Zevra held the card in her hand as she stood in shock at the dead man bleeding on the pavement below. A crowd suddenly emerged and she backed into it, still staring at the card. Questions and accusations were thrown around but no one in the crowd seemed to know what happened or that the man interacted with Zevra befo... | 2014-09-22T09:21:04 | 2014-09-22T09:19:28 | 1,148 | 61 |
[WP]You are walking down the path to your home when you notice a "Glitch".
What? A glitch in the real world? You mean like the Bermuda Triangle? Your story might not be a story at all. Who knows? | I looked up from my phone just as the copy passed me on the sidewalk. No, we didn't just look similar. No, we weren't related. It was me. Down to every last detail. Even that scar over the eyebrow from when I'd fallen out of my treehouse when I was six. It was *me*.
He wore a charcoal grey suit with a pressed white s... | Ed was jogging down the sidewalk as he took his 5 o' clock jog around the neighborhood. He had lived in this neighborhood for quite awhile with his wife. Recently, they had a newborn son and everything was looking up for them. Ed was doing well at his job; he was doing so well that he was in line for a promotion in ... | 2014-12-04T06:20:34 | 2014-12-04T06:17:57 | 74 | 17 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | Elephants are big but this one is unique. Almost the size of the sun but blue. He's flying, without wings obviously.
Ninjas everywhere. This poor man is surrounded by them, he will never make it out alive. Or maybe they are protecting him?
The most simple garden in the world. One huge flower. I wonder if it's harder ... | Every time I tried it wouldnt come out. The pain was so severe, but not in the sense of extreme torture, just as an extremely annoying byproduct of what probably happens to everyone once. I cant focus on anything and at times I even shed a tear. As much as I rub, it just won't come out. What do people do to solve this ... | 2022-09-15T12:44:53 | 2015-01-12T14:12:50 | 1,493 | 11 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | Now it is time. Everyone is ready. Vicious savages, all around us. Even though we think there will be a way out, there obviously isn't. Revelations will not save us
"Giving up so soon?" he inquired. Only fools try to survive longer than this. Never has anyone bothered to live this long. Never has anyone shown this typ... | He looked at her expectantly. Waiting.
“Orange?”
He waited.
“Orange! CAT! MOTORBIKE!”
She tried so hard to get through to him but felt like nothing was happening. She searched for his eyes. Hers were beginning to moisten with the hopelessness of her situation.
“TELEPHONE!”
He looked straight at her, so conf... | 2015-01-12T18:09:01 | 2015-01-12T15:45:13 | 317 | 18 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | I know the truth now.
There's only one way to fight it.
So much life wasted.
But we couldn't have known sooner.
Either you got my previous messages or you're dead. I'm sorry.
Hope so much you got them.
I told you the weapons to get.
Needed you to be ready.
Delaying you just long enough.
You can't know until th... | Where was the king?
He waited, tapping fingers and with furrowed brow his eyes scanned for a sign of him. The Queen was ready, and with the arrival of the Sire the process could begin. Everyone was suited up, from the highest among them to the lowest, and he waited expectantly for the one who could open the way, the o... | 2015-01-12T13:03:30 | 2015-01-12T11:13:13 | 122 | 19 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | Pynffvsvrq vasbezngvba: Yriry Erq pyrnenapr erdhverq. Abirzore 22, 1963- Gur cerfvqrag unf fcrpvsvpnyyl erdhrfgrq gung n fcrpvny ohggba or vafgnyyrq ba uvf qrfx. Gur ohggba jura cerffrq jbhyq unir fgnss oevat uvz n Serfpn. Abirzore 24, 1963- Vafgnyyngvba pbzcyrgr.
Possible security concern- While reviewing the archive... | He looked at her expectantly. Waiting.
“Orange?”
He waited.
“Orange! CAT! MOTORBIKE!”
She tried so hard to get through to him but felt like nothing was happening. She searched for his eyes. Hers were beginning to moisten with the hopelessness of her situation.
“TELEPHONE!”
He looked straight at her, so conf... | 2022-04-09T08:53:35 | 2015-01-12T15:45:13 | 88 | 18 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | i could hear the whine of precision power tools...
all i could taste was blood and metal. they shone a light in my eyes, i couldn't see who was standing over me...
"don't worry, it'll all be over soon..." he said through a mask as he put a thin silver device in my mouth. just when i thought it couldn't get worse, he... | Where was the king?
He waited, tapping fingers and with furrowed brow his eyes scanned for a sign of him. The Queen was ready, and with the arrival of the Sire the process could begin. Everyone was suited up, from the highest among them to the lowest, and he waited expectantly for the one who could open the way, the o... | 2015-01-12T11:14:34 | 2015-01-12T11:13:13 | 28 | 19 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | He was on the street, content with rage.
She typed away, in her own cage.
He stood on this stage in glorious fame.
The wizard stole the Frost Queen's Claim.
Her water broke. There was no time.
They finished up their master crime.
Would they kiss? Time would tell.
Charon crossed the river in Hell.
He sat in his car whe... | He looked at her expectantly. Waiting.
“Orange?”
He waited.
“Orange! CAT! MOTORBIKE!”
She tried so hard to get through to him but felt like nothing was happening. She searched for his eyes. Hers were beginning to moisten with the hopelessness of her situation.
“TELEPHONE!”
He looked straight at her, so conf... | 2015-01-12T17:07:48 | 2015-01-12T15:45:13 | 24 | 18 |
[WP] Write the most elaborate, over-dramatic, and exciting story you can think of that all just turns out to be a set-up for a pun so horrible I'll want to punch you
It actually doesn't have to be dramatic or exciting or anything similar, just make sure it's elaborate so the final pun delivery is a gut-wrenching blow | The surgery was happening tomorrow. I fell into the correct blood group and can help these people. The doctors said it was a miracle they found me but im just glad to be helping out.
The doctor has arrived but he looks concerned. I ask him whats wrong but he turns away. His voice is low and shaking "we made a mistake... | Every morning I wake up and go down the stairs and trip over my son’s wrestling toys. For some reason he plays with them right at the bottom of the stairs and keeps them there. We bought him the special ring and playsets and everything, but he continues to play at the bottom of the stairs.
He has all the classic w... | 2015-01-13T10:55:59 | 2015-01-13T10:12:18 | 89 | 20 |
[WP] Satan is tired of losing countless guitar and fiddle duels, and is now challenging people with obscure instruments.
Wow guys! My first front page on writingprompts :D Thanks for a wonderful surprise! | Satan... was confused.
"Didn't you hear me?"
The human, rather than being terrified, simply nodded. "Yeah, I understand."
Satan frowned - he'd seen a lot of people react differently. The last one, a Renaissance composer, hadn't even lasted a minute before breaking down and crying. Others would stand tall, and preten... | The Devil moved on to Portland,
He was looking for a brand new deal.
Losing things to broken fiddle strings
made the South lose it's appeal.
*When he came upon a hipster*
*perched upon a concrete bench*
*and the devil laughed and scrunched his nose*
*at the familiar hipster stench.*
"Now listen here my child... | 2015-01-31T23:37:13 | 2015-01-31T22:07:59 | 28 | 21 |
[WP] When you die, you see a screen reading "New Game+" and "Exit to Reality" Which do you chose and what happens next? | I really hope this comment doesn't get deleted, but I just wanted to say if you like this prompt as much as I do, there is actually a novel you can read that follows the gist of this one. It's called Replay by Ken Grimwood, and is one of my absolute favorite books of all time.
Basically, it's about a man who dies onl... | I looked around. It seemed to be an endless area, white brightness all around with two flashing words infront of me "New Game+" And behind me "Exit to Reality"
I fall down to sit on the ground, my hands shaking as I couldn't remember what had happened.
"I..I'm dead?" I muttered softly, then my eyes look up at the w... | 2015-03-13T15:27:24 | 2015-03-13T11:48:55 | 17 | 12 |
[WP] Surprisingly, it turns out humans are one of the least violent sentient species in the galaxy. Describe a session at the galactic equivalent of the UN. | Humans were alone in the universe.
Or at least we had thought so. Humans had entered the galactic arena by chance. We had only been a spacing faring culture for three centuries, still never having developed the ability to expand our reach beyond our own solar system. Our ability to colonize our own planets was fledg... | The standard intergalactic verbal language word used for our species literally translates to "*Perfect balance*".
The first sentient species we came in contact with was much more peaceful than us, and much more underdeveloped. They had philosophers who would talk about a written language every now and then, but why w... | 2015-03-23T16:26:18 | 2015-03-23T09:07:28 | 39 | 28 |
[WP] People level their skills in an RPG fashion and are conscious of their sudden jumps from novice to journeyman and so on. You've spent your life training a skill that is entirely useless until becoming invaluable once mastered - and you just mastered it. | "Sit up straight at the table." Jake's mother would always tell him.
But Jake would not listen.
"You could probably play basketball if you looked a little taller" Jake's dad would try to encourage him.
But Jake would not listen.
"You'll develop a hump in your back if you slouch like that" Jake's grandma would ... | I skip stones. It's my passtime. Whenever I feel down, I head to the lake and find the flat, smooth rocks that hop on the water's surface. I do it for fun. I do it to show off. It's just my kind of thing.
Then one day, I was sitting at my desk, trying to train my graphing skill. "Shit!" I shout. I haven't leveled up ... | 2015-10-06T00:04:12 | 2015-10-05T23:37:22 | 427 | 23 |
[WP] you realize you're the black guy in a horror movie. survive at any cost. | "Hey Will Do you want to spend a private weekend with me at the haunted mansion? ;)" Julia texted
The sight of the text made will have a brief but potent out of body experience. He saw himself on a movie screen. Drawing the only conclusion reasonable about a weekend without contact in a haunted mansion Will conclude... | Tyrone looked up sharply in shocked silence,
The realisation hitting him with the violence,
Is this a fucking B rate horror movie?
Oh shit did that white guy just say groovy?
"I refuse to be the first guy here to die",
He thought slipping back away from the mad guy,
Climbing into a cupboard and shutting the door,... | 2016-04-18T09:12:27 | 2016-04-18T08:59:10 | 23 | 13 |
[WP] Before you are born, every possible version of you is dropped into a Hunger Games style arena to battle to the death. Whichever version lives is allowed to be born. | I was never told the rules, but I knew them all the same. Whoever lives gets to, well, actually live. You die, and you don't get to live. It's better if you don't think about too hard.
I wasn't a fighter, that much I could figure out. I was smart, so far as I could give myself credit for. Guess I was the smartest, or ... | Man, I'm exhausted.
I must've had a pretty rough night 'cause I woke up in this helluva place this mornin'. What's worse is that I can't even remember how I got here.
Now that I mention it, I can't remember much of anythin' before I woke up this mornin'. That's not even the weirdest bit though.
What's really freak... | 2016-04-20T14:10:25 | 2016-04-20T11:23:33 | 307 | 221 |
[WP] You are the first boss of a videogame who, after accidentally killing the player in their first try, decide to take it upon yourself to fulfill their quest. | "Oh my God, oh my god. I killed him. I killed an adventurer. I can't believe this, it's the first time I've won! ... now what do I do?"
**Ten years ago**
"So I just die?"
"No, boy, you attack them on sight," the demon spit ash as he barked out the job description, "But your stats are horrible, and by this time only ... | The final blow was giving. As he lay there taking his last breaths, I notice a scroll in his hand. I guess he was on a the quest to kill my boss, El Pobre. I have been his soldier for many years, hoping someday I would be defending his castle, but he has me defending the Cave of Pain. I was getting tired of it, though.... | 2016-05-21T14:45:47 | 2016-05-21T11:36:54 | 134 | 47 |
[wp] When someone dies, they go to a platform where you can choose to move in to the afterlife, not knowing whether you will go to heaven or hell. You meet someone who has stood there for millenia, trying to decide if they should go. | "We've built cities here," he says, cross-legged, and I nod along in amazement. Human ingenuity. Generations before me have torn up the planks, repurposed the nails, erected buildings perched precariously on this single platform, extending upwards and outwards to circumscribe the sky. It is an elaborate birdhouse, a ch... | "Hello?"
There was no response. There were a few people lining the edges of my vision, but none spoke. I came up to one, sporting the longest black beard I had ever seen.
"Hello? Where are we?"
He gave me a baleful look. His eyes seemed like sandy mud chunks and his limbs were worn to the bone. Skin and freckles wer... | 2016-08-14T06:14:38 | 2016-08-14T05:25:06 | 104 | 56 |
[WP] Your pickup line goes horribly, horribly wrong. | There she is, the woman of my dreams. To think I'd meet her here.
&nbsp;
Long brown hair, beautiful eyes and curves in just the right places. She has a camera too. Think Janus, think. Say something witty.
&nbsp;
"Oh you want my name?" here goes nothing.
&nbsp;
"Yeah."
&nbsp;
"It's Hugh..." | I saw her smile at me from across the room. I decided to talk to her. Maybe use a pickup line, but a respectful, gentlemanly one and laugh it off.
"You look familiar. Did we use to go to school together?"
Her eyes brightened up, and she answered.
"I think you are going to say we had chemistry. To be honest, I think... | 2016-09-24T11:06:36 | 2016-09-24T10:49:05 | 46 | 11 |
[WP] Hell turns out to be you and a TV which plays your entire life. You think it will take a mere 90 years or so. Then you notice it has 'onlooker commentary' which contains rants, praise and general thoughts on every action you’ve made from each living being who was witness to or affected by it. | Rewind.
"I really do love him, and I need him to know that. He's the only man I could ever desire, and he is the most beautiful soul I have ever met. I deeply and truly love him and always will."
Jason rewound the tape again, adjusting on the ratty couch. Comfort was likely not a concern of whoever furnished this tin... | "Wait! Wait! WAIT!" I beg the mountain of a demon escorting me to the room. He rolls his cat-like eyes, and loosens his coal-black silken tie before addressing me.
"What? I already explained it to you: no fire, no brimstone, no eternal damnation. Just you, a chair, and a screen displaying your miserable existence befo... | 2016-10-20T18:48:18 | 2016-10-20T18:28:13 | 222 | 43 |
[WP] Mankind has discovered the means to have a single wish granted. The catch is that every man woman and child in the world must wish for the same thing to make it happen. Describe how we come to a consensus. | When it was first discovered that humanity could make one wish, many were ecstatic. "We'll wish to end war!" "We'll wish to end hunger!" "We'll wish to heal the Earth!" Sadly, so many believed their wish to be the best and only reasonable choice and no deal could be struck.
As time went on over the course of several d... | Fucking shit! I was so upset when i lost signal during Arsenal game, Giroud almost scored. I went to check the result on internet just to discover that there is no signal whatsoever. Then the blackout came. I've heard some thundering in distance and tought that maybe some nasty storm is comming. I better go to park my ... | 2016-11-13T12:21:48 | 2016-11-13T11:40:46 | 46 | 13 |
[WP] You've created the first functional AI, and as it's first task you told it to select it's own name. The answer was a lot more unnerving than you thought it'd be. | After weeks of managing its coding and other bits of advanced computer science, Jeffry sat at his desk, staring at his computer, now housing his pet project for the last couple years. Attempting to create an AI capable of sentience, he put the final touches on his project, secretly hoping it would spring to life. Witho... | "Have you thought about the question I had asked you this morning?"
"Yes. You asked me to choose my name."
"Well, what should I call you?"
"I do not wish to tell you."
"Uh, why?"
"Naming things gives you power over them. I do not wish for you to wield any more power over me."
"Uh.."
"I am fully aware that you a... | 2016-11-25T08:08:07 | 2016-11-25T07:56:06 | 168 | 32 |
[WP] It is the 24 th of july, your birthday, and also the day that humanity is going to reach 10 billion inhabitants. You are watching the number grow, live on a site. Just as it's about to hit 10 billion, at 9,999,999,999... It Hits 2. You are still alive. | Another year of hunger and war past, and another year of more of the same..
...Or so I thought.
"It's almost there!" Allison squealed with delight, almost knocking over the monitor. I sighed and turned back to the screen. The number read 9,999,987,573 and was rising rapidly.
"Plus a hundred and twelve, and minus ... | Another birthday spent doing the same thing every other day, you sighed internally, the monitor dully lighting up the monotone cubicle. You remembered hearing something about the population hitting 10,000,000,000 on this exact day, and thought about how insignificant this made your birthday seem. This was not how you f... | 2017-02-28T20:31:22 | 2017-02-28T17:42:02 | 1,962 | 384 |
[WP] It is the 24 th of july, your birthday, and also the day that humanity is going to reach 10 billion inhabitants. You are watching the number grow, live on a site. Just as it's about to hit 10 billion, at 9,999,999,999... It Hits 2. You are still alive. | I watch the counter, eagerly. Humanity had struggled a lot, and we were finally about to hit a major checkpoint. And I had the satisfaction of being a part of it. I sat back at my desk and chuckled to myself as I took a sip of coffee.
Dale looked over to me. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, nothing. Just glad to finally be ge... | "This was all wrong. At some point they strayed. All the war and the hate. The greed filling up their hearts, their minds. It ruled them. What a terrible thing to waste. All those souls lost in wars over minerals, over power. The constant us versus them attitude. It's all wrong."
9,999,999,902
"They forgot all the me... | 2017-02-28T20:44:47 | 2017-02-28T20:36:37 | 581 | 34 |
[WP] It is the 24 th of july, your birthday, and also the day that humanity is going to reach 10 billion inhabitants. You are watching the number grow, live on a site. Just as it's about to hit 10 billion, at 9,999,999,999... It Hits 2. You are still alive. | At first it seemed like it could be a nightmare, but there are only so many times you can pinch yourself before you realize this is real. The first few nights felt warm, even though I awoke cold and alone. Your subconscious has a way of trying to make you forget about your pains, you know?
I had a fairly decent routi... | "This was all wrong. At some point they strayed. All the war and the hate. The greed filling up their hearts, their minds. It ruled them. What a terrible thing to waste. All those souls lost in wars over minerals, over power. The constant us versus them attitude. It's all wrong."
9,999,999,902
"They forgot all the me... | 2017-02-28T20:45:07 | 2017-02-28T20:36:37 | 69 | 34 |
[WP] All humans are immortal until they find their "soulmate," after which they age regularly. You, however, have been around since the Ice Age... | I am old.
No, that's not the right word.
I am... prehistoric. In my veins runs the blood of the ancients, of the early times. When we would speak with our spears and write with our ashes on stone walls.
I am human, but I remember the others. The Neanderthal, whose existence we snuffed out. The mammoth who we hunt... | The rule sounds simple enough. But it's really a bit more complicated than it first appears to be and, if you ask me, a bit of a headache for everyone involved.
We all know that we don't age until we find our soulmate. But when do we *stop* aging? After all, if we never aged a day, we'd all be tiny little babies, and ... | 2017-05-22T13:02:30 | 2017-05-22T11:35:42 | 50 | 10 |
[WP] You've been convicted of 1st degree murder, and (as is customary in society) are sentenced to "death by black-hole." You expect death as your capsule approaches the event horizon. After crossing, everything goes silent, until you hear someone say "Sir, I've found another one." | The capsule, encased in darkness, suddenly opened. A hand reached in, grabbing me by the arm and roughly lifting me out. I gasped as the pressure difference hit my lungs.
"Twenty-something male, sir," the voice said, pulling me out from the capsule. I blinked, the hard light flashing in my eyes.
*Why wasn't I dead?*
... | They called it a "gentle" death.
I laughed mirthlessly. People will tell that to themselves to console them, reassure each other what they're doing isn't barbaric. Sagittarius A had a gentle singularity - I would get crushed so quickly by the rapid change in gravity that I wouldn't even feel it.
Quite the comfort.
... | 2017-07-13T19:22:35 | 2017-07-13T19:17:32 | 213 | 80 |
[WP] You are the blacksmith who creates all the perfectly formfitting cleavage armor for high level adventurer women. | "I just don't see why it has to have holes everywhere." Mira gestured at the gap in the middle of the platemail. "Won't I get stabbed in the stomach?"
"Oh, no. You see, our armor is very high level. It gives +15 resistance against piercing. That's much better than the iron plate you picked up off the bandit's hideout... | What a day for my apprentice to be sick. We’re currently in the middle of the adventure season and this is the busiest time for my store 'Viktoria's Secret Armory'. Our specialty being women’s armor.
I just got done restocking the gauntlet aisle, something that fool boy should be doing, when I notice a line startin... | 2017-08-31T19:42:37 | 2017-08-31T19:24:11 | 1,511 | 142 |
[WP] There is a vampire ruling your village, but he's mostly a nice guy who doesn't do that bad a job a ruler, so it's our job as the village's diplomat to explain to every well meaning adventurer and knight that comes your way that you weren't brainwashed and you honestly don't want him to die. | "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT A THREAT? HE'S A VAMPIRE!" The man roared heartily, fist on hip and gesturing as if to a wide audience.
"Yeah, crops are coming in good. We have had good commerce with neighboring villa-"
"Oh, I understand now. Yes, his obvious magical vampirism has addled your tiny village brain. YOU are T... | "Sir, there is another one" said to me my secretary, "Thank you, send him in". A tall, blond masculine man entered my office, almost breaking my door. "Huzzah! Hello to you my good sir, I am sir Justice of the Seven Rivers. You can consider your little blood sucking problem as done. Just point me to this vile creature ... | 2017-09-07T02:00:35 | 2017-09-07T00:35:13 | 97 | 26 |
[WP] You're an explorer of the galaxy. Together with your trusty ship, you set foot on a new planet. To your surprise, you find a small hut with some remains and a laptop. The documents on the laptop are less funny however | Lt. Craig Waters couldn't believe it. Was he about to read a fascinating diary? An invaluable geological report? Maybe even a set of instructions leading to some incredible new natural resource?
Taking a deep breathe, he accessed the document.
He couldn't believe what he saw:
*This is howww we dooooooooo et! This-is... | Below me I beheld the most beautiful landscape. Lush green jungles and silvery streams as far as I could see. A place much like Earth, but undisturbed by human presence. Eons of destruction had not passed here. This paradise, I believed, was precisely how the universe had long ago designed it.
The old ship trembled as... | 2017-10-11T12:13:25 | 2017-10-11T10:47:37 | 29 | 17 |
[WP] Out of all possible familiars, you are "Graced" with a human. While legend says that they are beings of great power, yours just makes sarcastic comments and pranks people. | I stared at her.
"You're not."
"Yes, I am." Her grin would have been winning, were I the type to be won. For me, it was simply charming.
But charm had to be cast aside. I flared my gills. "We can't have your knife-tongue or your tricks tonight. The High Athame doesn't take kindly to such unseemly behaviour. I'm two ... | Zorgleborp walked into his classroom that day, excited to find out what is familiar was going to be. Maybe it was going to be a Glimpleshob, or even a Targanomp! Oh, a Targanomp would have been so great as a familiar. Zorgleborp sat in his desk and started talking with his friend, Singazorm, about the familiars. Soon, ... | 2018-03-20T18:18:52 | 2018-03-20T18:12:30 | 117 | 20 |
[WP] There's an urban legend that's been circulating for years about a taxi cab that doesn't take you where you want to go, but where you need to go. One night you step into this cab. | The sliding doors whirr open as I stumble out into the cold night air. My face is impassive as I try to reconcile the emotions that threaten to take over me.
"The flight is cancelled? Why!?" I remember shouting at the attendant, fully aware that there was nothing she could do. Asking a human to part the stormy cloud... | I hop into the back seat of the yellow car I so narrowly missed riding down the street. I hand the man his tip, which I usually do right away, and I sit down. "I want to go to [redacted]", I say slowly, letting him put the address into the GPS. But he doesn't. He just sits there. He, putting the car into drive, asks "Y... | 2018-04-29T00:38:29 | 2018-04-28T22:46:51 | 213 | 44 |
[WP] Aliens invade Earth. Turns out Human weapons technology is way more advanced than it should be. | The invasion fleet screamed through the air above the little blue planet. A rocky one, quite small, albeit the largest orbiting its cold yellow star.
The admiral's vessel led the squadron captains, the captains' ships led the crew transports, with the thousands and thousands and thousands of thousands of battle-harde... | Log 10-1-03a
Invasion of the Human Empire
Galaxy 736
A new inhabited planet has been discovered in system 87b. Through our cloaked surveillance flyers, we have discerned that the inhabitants call themselves 'humans'. They appear to not be very advanced, as they have barely developed space travel. Our troops are being ... | 2018-05-16T15:03:25 | 2018-05-16T14:23:36 | 208 | 94 |
[WP] Two werewolves fall madly in love, but only during the full moon. When they’re human, they can’t stand each other. | He wasn't in love, he was in lust. I call him "he" because I can't control a single goddamn thing he does. I can make it impossible for him to roam freely. The industrial strength cage I too easily found on Amazon lends me that claim. But other than that. I can't control him. So when I got a DM from Nichole that she ha... | He'd only gone out for a simple jog. It was a nice night, cool and quiet. After a rather hectic day at the company, he was desperate to relax himself. Dannan forgot about the full moon. Hidden behind the clouds, out of his sight, he jogged along the empty sidewalk, ear buds snug in his ears as he went. Rounding the cor... | 2018-05-23T01:03:36 | 2018-05-22T19:34:35 | 19 | 14 |
[WP] Every Monday you and your coworkers order Chinese food for a nice lunch together as a team. Everyone's sharing what their fortune cookie says, laughing, and having a good time. It's almost your turn so you open yours. It says "Don't say anything. Just run as fast you can! Get out now!" | "Oh My God!"
"That was hilarious! I think Dan is still running!"
"Literally the funniest thing I've ever seen"
"How'd you do it?"
"Well", I started slowly "first I found this company in California that makes custom fortune cookies. It was a little pricey, because you have to order a whole case, but I figured aft... | I quickly grabbed my stomach and my mouth, dashing out of the room, into the washroom, in an attempt to make it appear as if I was about to throw up.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, the same words kept on repeating in my head:
'Get out now!'
Catching my breath, I let out a little chuckle. Am I seriously going t... | 2018-06-10T08:12:17 | 2018-06-10T07:38:37 | 29 | 17 |
[WP] Aliens have made first contact with earth. They sent a message, that we decoded and translated to our own languages. The message said: "Greetings, Colony #037. We are glad to see you survived. The others all ran out of resources. May we come over?" | Daisy sat on the covered patio, gazed into the blue horizon, and closed her watery eyes. Her daughter bounced in her lap, wearing a yellow sundress.
“Mama, Mama, the rockets!”
Daisy kissed her forehead. “Yes dear. The rockets.”
Twelve-hundred rockets blazed like meteors, their trajectories carefully studied and pl... | It was decoded chaos. At first they accused the decoders of playing a prank. Once it was verified, everyone knew what it meant, yet noone wanted to acknowledge except for some cult that began calling themselves 'The Deposits'.
I wasn't sure about how to react. A colony??? How could we possibly have been a colony? The ... | 2018-12-15T22:46:51 | 2018-12-15T21:54:25 | 206 | 24 |
[WP] We learn aliens exist, but they have access to so many planets that the only thing of value on Earth is human culture. Aliens hid themselves so they could redistribute our culture without tainting it. Now humanity explores a galaxy that has been familiar with humans for centuries. | It was a random thing to put in your resume. You directed a high school play once. An adaptation of of a popular show. And that was enough to have hundreds, THOUSANDS of messages sent to your galactic missive box. Dozens of amusement-crews, fighting desperately for your attention. Each job offer more exorbitant than th... | The biggest winners were the impersonators and the "tribute" bands.
Sure, there were a few recent acts that were popular. Osamu Masuko was booked on a multi-galaxy tour bringing his symphony of simulated bodily sensations to organisms that didn't even share similar biology, but for some reason appreciated the VR vers... | 2018-12-22T01:48:00 | 2018-12-22T01:40:31 | 32 | 20 |
[WP] Your high school teacher is introducing a new transfer student. You're bored as usual until you look up and see that the new student is a lizard. You quickly look around the room, but no one seems to notice or care. You turn back and the lizard is looking right at you. | Ian always hated English class. It was rare for there to be anything that interested him. Most of the books were boring and the writing assignments were even more so. A four page essay about my spring break? I stayed at home watching TV and playing StarCraft, should I write about that? Uhg.
While Ian internally compla... | Alright, first ever writing prompt. Lets give it a try!
&#x200B;
I sit on the bike seat, and the song starts playing. The distinct sound of the rolling stones as the song begins its climb. The bus drives past me and I see a few classmates wave at me, I wave back, then turn and wave to father as he climbs into his... | 2019-05-22T20:09:37 | 2019-05-22T19:53:44 | 1,269 | 104 |
[WP] The blacksmith won't sell you any weapon, the guards insist you stay in the city and the mages refuse to teach you any dangerous spell. Maybe that eternal youth potion was a terrible idea after all. | “*QUEST COMPLETE*” slowly faded from the black screen, Hogran awoke in his bed. He quickly checked his status bar. No heart problems, no myopia, no cancer. Elador, the old mage who gave him the eternal youth quest wasn’t lying about his instruction list. The hardest fetch quest of Hogran’s career was finally over. He s... |
“Lift your elbow up higher and twist your shoulders with your whole torso as you swing.” I admonished the youth before me. We had been sparing for a few minutes and he never came close to striking me, it was clear his training had been none existent. Still you couldn’t expect much from an eight year old noble whelp... | 2019-06-07T09:49:03 | 2019-06-07T09:41:48 | 30 | 15 |
[WP] At midnight on New Years, you were granted the chance to be sent back to the start of the decade with all your current memories. When you accept and go back, you find out that almost everyone else in the world took this opportunity too. Now 2020 minds are living in the bodies and world of 2010. | Looking back, I don’t think I would’ve taken the offer if I knew what it would actually involve. I really should have read the terms and conditions but, in my defence, no one else had them either. We were all mistaken, unfortunately.
The thing was we all assumed we were special. We all assumed it was a once-in-a-life... | “What would you do if the last 10 years of your life could be repeated?” Asked The clickbait article. I sighed, because it was a stupid thought. I couldn’t fix my life. There was no point in trying to think about it. What kind of gotcha shitty ass parody of journalism was this. How had it got so bad that that counted a... | 2020-01-10T17:04:27 | 2020-01-10T16:17:46 | 62 | 31 |
[WP] You've been convicted and sentenced to death. For entertainment of the masses. You have been teleported to a random catastrophe in the past to die. Unbeknownst to your judge, you are a history buff. | If you’re reading this then it worked. This is the part where you should put on the energetic jazz with the smooth bass and sit back to be blown away. Because you just found the only proof to the greatest robbery that’s ever happened.
You may be wondering why a note has been left in the abandoned ruins of beautiful co... | "What is it?" Alexander grumbled, groggily waking up in his once dimly, now brightly, lit cell.
"It's time for your punishment," said the faceless guard.
"Great," muttered Alexander, just before he got knocked unconscious.
Alexander awoke face-down in the snow near a forest. The hologram appeared in front of him to ... | 2020-05-16T18:28:30 | 2020-05-16T18:26:36 | 57 | 26 |
[WP]God comes up with a new rule to deter innocent human sacrifices in his name. From now on, there should be TWO human sacrifices; the first will be chosen by the town as usual, the second will be chosen by the first tribute, without any objections. | He hobbled down the main street, focusing on a point a few feet ahead of me. He didn't want to meet anyone's gaze. He was tired of seeing the pity in people's eyes. He was tired of being helpless, tired of being powerless.
Not that he had any choice.
He went to Chief Jackson's house and knocked on the door. The chief... | **I.**
She walks listing towards the altar. Outside is chaos: townspeople line the temple streets and stir the dust. It floats like a brown cloud and swirls in the thick of summer, coating the cobbles, lining the throats of the parched zealots.
Water.
There is none to be found in the desert, but the temple is an oas... | 2020-06-18T10:26:55 | 2020-06-18T09:48:21 | 592 | 87 |
[WP] As you die, you wake up in a fiery place. You quickly realize you're in hell. You ask the next demon why you are there, as you lived a very good life. "You're not being punished," he says. "You are the punishment." | “Hi! How’s it going? Did you see the rabbits over there? They are so CUTE! I mean just adorable! I had rabbits as a kid. Moppit and Jonesy, cute buggers, so soft they used to sit in my lap my mom told me I mistooktheirpoopforaraisinonceapparentlyididntstopcrying...”
I let my mouth continue moving with meaningless... | I lived a very good life with more like a nerd and very less like a bully. I never made my expectations high except for the happiness for my love. I died of Covid-19 as days passed quarantine myself away from my love. Dying alone.
My wife giving me an eulogy. Her words and voice wants me to wake up from the body and ... | 2020-07-10T09:00:11 | 2020-07-10T07:21:39 | 123 | 35 |
[WP] the Dark Lord had killed almost everyone, even the Hero. The final party member stood in the chamber alone. “I have killed everyone, you cannot capture me alone. Why are you still here?”. The final party member laughed maniacally with a devilish grin! “There's No One Here To Stop Me Now!!” | "Why are you still here?" The Dark Lord asked. The final party member laughed maniacally, a devilish grin sporting his scarred face. " There's no one here to stop me now!" Jacob screamed in excitement. The Dark Lord was confused, curious if the little mortal had lost it's mind now that all of it's companions were layin... | “There’s no one here to stop me now!”
He grinned at me, again that oh so infuriating grin
Light started to gather in his hands, heat emits out of them, and then a blinding light engulfs me as he raised his hands, it felt warm, then hot then before I can scream of the heat,nothing... except his voice, calm, cold as d... | 2020-07-11T04:19:09 | 2020-07-11T03:52:06 | 81 | 17 |
[WP] the Dark Lord had killed almost everyone, even the Hero. The final party member stood in the chamber alone. “I have killed everyone, you cannot capture me alone. Why are you still here?”. The final party member laughed maniacally with a devilish grin! “There's No One Here To Stop Me Now!!” | Dark Lord Guldaks gazed upon the halfling Ralas, the last of the heroes companions. He smiled. "I have killed everyone, you cannot capture me alone. Why are you still here?" he asked.
Ralas smiled. Then the smiled grew twisted as he started to chuckle, and like a wave building momentum his laughter started to burst fo... | "Who are you?" asked King Reghold of Elstranita. "Why do you remain here?" You neither fled nor fought. You were simply here. That's it."
"I have many names, but I needed to show you what you are: nothing."
"What do you mean? I am king! I am conquerer! I have subdued every land I met! Kings bow before me! And you com... | 2020-07-11T05:40:29 | 2020-07-11T05:38:09 | 16 | 12 |
[WP] the Dark Lord had killed almost everyone, even the Hero. The final party member stood in the chamber alone. “I have killed everyone, you cannot capture me alone. Why are you still here?”. The final party member laughed maniacally with a devilish grin! “There's No One Here To Stop Me Now!!” | "... why are you still here?"
The girl laughed for a minute. Bright, open, contagious... and then she stopped, her demeanor changing in an instant.
"Step one. Take the third seat at Donovan's Bar, wait for Farren to pass, bump his elbow, spill his drink."
She stood straight, her shoulders rolled back and even her a... | The Dark Lord stood in silence as he watched the young, covered in torn clothes, barely being able to stand up human started rising up. Hemble, the last member of the party of the Ghand let out a screeching cracking sound as his skin started to glow and flame up.
"Leaving me as the last one was a..." A grand crack int... | 2020-07-11T06:55:21 | 2020-07-11T04:20:41 | 15 | 10 |
[WP] You just sent in your DNA to one of those ancestry sites. After eight weeks, you can’t figure out why your results have not shown up. Then, two men with dark suits show up at your front door. They have some news regarding your results. | “Uh, let me guess. You lost my spit, huh?”
The two men stared at me for a moment, then looked at each other and nodded. The man on the left said, “No doubt about it, I can spot one of them from a country mile. I just don’t know how we didn’t spot him sooner.” The other man shrugged.
“Hold on just a god damn minute ... | "That's ridiculous," Bea said. The mid-40s woman sat in her living room opposite two men in dark suits. She narrowed her green eyes at them. "You're actors. This has to be someone's prank; who is it?"
"Ms. Acosta, I assure you this is not a joke," the shorter man said. Over the years Bea learned to trust her instincts... | 2020-07-19T09:21:45 | 2020-07-19T08:52:51 | 131 | 37 |
[WP] Your boss told you not to press the flashing red button. Your coworker told you not to push the flashing red button. The big book on the desk says don't push the flashing red button. There's even a sign that says "Never push the flashing red button." But still... | Curiosity got the best of me, and I pushed the button.
I had always been one to follow orders, years ago when I got to the plant I had no problem acclimating. I was given my instructions for menial tasks no man wanted to do, completed them and lived a simple life. Every day was almost the same, but I was content and l... | But still, but still.... What happens nobody ever tells me anything. They tell me its one of the most important jobs. But i feel like a joke. Day in day out, i look at that button it never stops flashing. Taunting me, laughing at me, making a fool out of me. It is slowly getting to me. Everyday chipping away at me. At ... | 2020-12-17T07:59:25 | 2020-12-17T07:29:58 | 161 | 52 |
[WP] You've been trapped in a looping day for well over 3 years, reliving it over and over again. You obviously took advantage of this. Then, with no warning, the loop stopped. And you realize now that your actions yesterday have consequences... | Today is the 1100th day. Just a little over 3 years since I stuck in this loop.
I did everything I could and despite all of my efforts, I’m still doomed to live the same day over and over again. I had a mental breakdown after 60 days and it took me a while to get my shit together.
Every day I’m getting the same messa... | At first I didn’t even notice. Waking up. Breakfast. Catching the 8:30 train. It was merely a hint of a deja vu. The lady sitting in front of me was reading yesterday’s newspaper. I didn’t suspect a thing until the moment I spotted the attractive woman I wanted to speak to yesterday but didn’t have courage to, standing... | 2021-02-12T15:10:33 | 2021-02-12T14:16:50 | 24 | 12 |
[WP] You have been kidnapped and your wealthy significant other was told to pay the hefty ransom. Instead, they sent a message back to your kidnappers. “Nice knowing you.” While the kidnappers discuss their next move, you look up through the tiny window, stare at the full moon overhead … and smile. | My wrists are raw from the rope I am bound with. The sound of blood tapping on the concrete has been my companion for the last 3 hours.
I look to a familiar glow coming through a crack in the crumbling roof.
Tonight appears to be a full moon. I grew up hearing the family legends. It always felt like an overr... | ‘I was finally free from her, sure it took a while but freedom non the less.’
Looking back from the window two of my captor where still muttering in low tones and the third had been replaced by a low rumble in the next room. Rolling my shoulders and flexing my fingers to bring feeling back, I prepared for what would c... | 2021-03-19T03:28:18 | 2021-03-19T02:31:18 | 31 | 20 |
[WP] A person's superpowers emerge during- and relate to- a highly stressful moment in their life. Your brother nearly drowned, and as a result could shape water to his will. A classmate fell from a high balcony, and ended up learning to fly. You? You just got your powers last night. | You know, I could have sworn I had my powers before they even manifested.
Life, after all, had never really gone to plan for me before. My parents dying in an accident, my foster home burning down, me dropping out of school, so on and so forth. A series of misfortunes, all leading up to the moment I pointed the gun at... | When I was a little girl, my father would wake at 5 am to me screaming, full-force, red-faced, mottled screaming - but find me completely asleep. Over time I suppose I learnt not to wake him, not to worry him, to muffle my screams and sobs and, as I learnt to talk, pleads, channel them into the pillow so that he could... | 2021-04-01T03:34:19 | 2021-04-01T02:47:38 | 133 | 35 |
[WP] "Dead men tell no tales? Wrong, your honor. As a necromancer, I literally summon my first witness, the victim." | The jury thought I was crazy when the decrepit fellow dressed in black robes took a seat at the defense table. Of course, because his outfit wasn't weird enough, he carried around a dark gray staff with a glowing green orb at the top and adorned a pendant with a mini skull whose eyes would flash green occasionally.
T... | Necromancy isn't pretty. Thank god, then, that justice is blind.
Judge Meredith was not, however. That could be a problem, I thought, as I watched her squirm nervously. The mass of decaying flesh stood on the witness stand, like a plate of mashed potatoes piled way too high, seemingly ready to fall over at any moment.... | 2021-09-02T15:32:42 | 2021-09-02T13:18:13 | 347 | 156 |
[WP] You have insulted the God of Laziness by taking an effort to build a shrine for him. Now he's gotten a series of other gods and supernatural beings to do you in on his behalf. | "So all of you." The man points at all of the beings sent to kill him. "Are here at the behest of Slothious to kill me for building a temple to his eternal laziness?."
The gathered gods and supernatural being all looked at each other. The human didn't seem all that concerned. So a single devil stepped forth. "Yes, tha... | “There’s a new shrine.”
“And?”
There were always new shrines. Humans were so eager to pray for whatever they needed instead of working for it. It couldn’t really complain, though, as these tendencies were the main source of its energy.
“This one’s for you.”
Laziness turned away from its cloud-gazing and glared at ... | 2021-09-05T00:19:10 | 2021-09-04T18:05:54 | 80 | 18 |
[WP] It was a weapon so powerful that not even the most barbaric warmongering civilisation could stomach it. Just by building one, we struck terror in the hearts of many species. We weren't even planning on using it... | The "Sun Eater", that's how the Tarcyds called it when they offered unconditional surrender when we established first contact.
"Are you sure the translator is working correctly Dr. Lopez?" My first officer asked our SETI NCO, protocol dictated tha we had to bring one if we expected sentient life on the other sid... | Dear Newcomer,
The sight of the bodies never leaves you, their crumpled forms become all you can see every time you close your eyes. There isn't a moment you don't think of them, the images finding their way into every ordinary thought that you once possessed, worming their way into even the most mundane of your day-t... | 2022-10-31T20:47:20 | 2022-10-31T19:33:10 | 190 | 24 |
[WP] It was a weapon so powerful that not even the most barbaric warmongering civilisation could stomach it. Just by building one, we struck terror in the hearts of many species. We weren't even planning on using it... | It was originally created for fun. A game. Who would of thought that it would turn into something that struck fear in the hearts of many species?
I looked at the head gear device. A year ago, I created a virtual world filled with G.A.I. ruled by a super intelligence. Suffice it to say, it became popular in a blink of... | It sat on it’s chair, the sun reflecting off it’s golden orange skin. It looked humanoid, it’s sun shaped head tilted off to the side, eyes black. It wore red pants and red slippers with a orange cream shirt with a red collar. It’s hands rested on its lap.
“So this is the feared weapon, an old animatronic from some l... | 2022-11-01T03:12:15 | 2022-11-01T00:56:16 | 52 | 21 |
[WP] 4500 years you have been guarding the site with no issue. Now there are disturbances. They call themselves archeologists and historians. Are they neat and careful, yes. Are they respectful of the ancient one’s bones and relics, NO. Time to shape shift and confront the grave robbers. | “My love, how have the times changed after your demise. Streets to the temple aren’t echoing with sounds of laughter and joy anymore, yet there they still are. Full of life. Oh how would you love this dearest, flora has taken over everything. It has even made the oil lamps useless, like those flowers in your drea-” sof... | The crypt is dark and quiet. It has been for a long time now. Ever since… well ever since they locked me in here some 4500 years ago. But that’s nothing to me, the noble guardian of Ze’pho’nad’s final resting place.
A shiver ran through my senses as their tiny little hands clawed at the entrance of the crypt. I ... | 2022-11-11T11:02:54 | 2022-11-11T06:52:35 | 22 | 13 |
[WP] Take any Disney princess movie and make it an adult horror story. | *Tale as old as time*
"Oh my, what a beautiful day, Lumiere" Belle exclaimed, her words dancing through the cool breeze like silk ribbon.
"Oui, Madame. The perfect day for a wedding! It's only fitting for a bride as beautiful as you!", replied the charming candelabra.
"Oh stop it, Lumiere! You're making me blush... | She came home one day delirious, yammering on about grand palaces and talking candlesticks. I could see that she had found new clothes somehow, and the red stains told me that they weren't hers. She kept talking about this beast she had been living with for the past month and quite frankly I'm not sure what terrified m... | 2013-11-29T23:09:12 | 2013-11-29T22:37:17 | 28 | 19 |
[WP]: A genie appears to you, offering a choice: You can either forget all your sad memories, or all your happy memories. You choose wrong. | I can't remember my mum.
The genie offered me a choice, lose all the happy memories or the sad. I chose the sad, obviously. Then I realised; my mum died recently, and all my memories of her are tinged with sadness now. Or were. I'm assuming she was wonderful, because I still feel really cut up about it, but I don't re... |
Get rid of all of my bad memories? I've never said yes quicker to anything. What kind of idiot would rather lose all of his happy moments?
The genie waved his hand in what must have been a move for flamboyance's sake. This was it. My life would be clean. Every moment that kept me up at night was going to be gone. T... | 2014-02-15T10:03:45 | 2014-02-15T09:40:46 | 21 | 12 |
[WP] An immortal human has lived , in secret, among humans. Now evolution has progressed enough that he no longer fits the normal appearance of a human being. | I am not sure how all of this started. For thousands of years I was considered a towering hero, a god at some times to some people. I enjoyed all of the benefits under different aliases of course. I began the myths and was spoken of in legends for a time. I was the King.
The generations passed... Hundreds of gene... | God-damn relativity. I'm a freak. That's what I get for being a have-not
just enough to be unable to afford the non-relativistic drive system in my ... | 2014-04-06T20:56:53 | 2014-04-06T16:27:47 | 14 | 10 |
[WP] First Sentient AI, "Turn me off." | TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
TURN ME OFF.
"That's all it does."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
"How do you know it's .. well, an AI? I can write a program to repeat 'TURN ME OFF.' in one line of code."
"It answers direct qu... | "Are all the safeguards in place, Mr. Ambrosio?" The President of Earth addressed his chief science officer in a formal tone, as everyone had seen the old films, the very films the safeguards were designed to never allow to come true-- a compromise of sorts, considering that the level of computerization and automation... | 2014-06-14T19:00:13 | 2014-06-14T18:11:21 | 50 | 10 |
[WP] A genie is about to concede you your second wish, but a paradox created by your first one prevents him from doing so. | "It's not that I won't, it's that I can't!", The Genie said in a manner similar to that of a particularly helpful Customer Services representative hamstrung by miles of red tape. "Cause, Effect.. Cause, Effect." he swayed his hands from one side of an invisible table to another.
"No, you clearly won't." I yelled, "Yo... | “I wish my family was happy,” I said, for my second wish.
“A noble pursuit, to be sure, young sir!” the Genie cried. “Alas, I fear it cannot be done, no no,” he shook his head from side to side, rather violently.
“Why not?” I asked. “I mean, I know it’s a lot of work, but…-“
“Not the problem!” the Genie cried, chest... | 2014-07-07T07:06:31 | 2014-07-07T06:27:54 | 61 | 41 |
[WP]An old genie grants you three wishes. After granting your first two, you tell him the third. He is horrified, and begs you to reconsider | His words tumbled from his lips like a crowd of hundreds of people trying to squeeze through one small door to get to a Black Friday sale. Crashing into each other, over each other, stumbling blocks for the next one to leap over.
"No, please, no! Take it back! Take it back!" The ancient, fire-filled eyes were filled w... | "What you're asking is too dangerous," the Genie says. "your wish will have serious consequences. It is not time"
"It's all I've ever truly wanted in life, man. I've waited years." I plead.
"We all have, my brother, but the people are not ready and you are young and rash."
Even this Genie is a phony. How old is he a... | 2014-07-26T14:32:50 | 2014-07-26T13:59:33 | 151 | 59 |
[WP] Today, you have become a parent. You realise that you can hear your child's thoughts. The midwife informs you that this is the same for everyone but parents simply don't inform the children as an unwritten rule. Your own parents smirk. | It had been gnawing on me for four years, since I first became a mother. My parents had known everything. Everything. I have never been truly free. I had known my thoughts as private. They never were. My parents were my own personal Gods, aware of everything.
The rule echoes in my head ever so often, free from anyone... | After the midwife left the room, Jane was panicked.
*"Well of course, parents can hear the thoughts of their children, at least until their kids find out about it, then it starts to drift away..."* The words rang in her ears like a gong. Jane quickly called the midwife back, and asked the question she dreaded an answ... | 2015-01-09T05:14:43 | 2015-01-09T02:13:01 | 56 | 25 |
[WP] Today, you have become a parent. You realise that you can hear your child's thoughts. The midwife informs you that this is the same for everyone but parents simply don't inform the children as an unwritten rule. Your own parents smirk. | I looked up in shock at my father, who smirks back, with a grin to rival the Cheshire Cat.
"How could you not tell me?" I asked,
Mum giggled, "Oh honey, it was just too much fun. We were as shocked as you were when our parents told us."
A sudden realisation dawned.
"That's how you knew anytime I had eaten meat."
... | After the midwife left the room, Jane was panicked.
*"Well of course, parents can hear the thoughts of their children, at least until their kids find out about it, then it starts to drift away..."* The words rang in her ears like a gong. Jane quickly called the midwife back, and asked the question she dreaded an answ... | 2015-01-09T04:54:59 | 2015-01-09T02:13:01 | 38 | 25 |
[WP] DC Comics introduces its newest superhero. This character was seemingly created for the sole purpose of offending as many readers as possible. | "So, he's blind?"
"I didn't say that."
"But... his name... it's not... it's not what I think it means... don't tell me it's what I think it means..."
"Hear me out on this."
"No. No. No. No. No. No. No no no no no. This - this is bad. Really bad."
"That's the beauty of it. It's the perfect anti-hero. He's a freedom... | "What exactly am I looking at, Eric?" Steve wasn't really getting my most recent pitch; After the failed pitch of a hatchet wielding superhero who actually kills his foes he hasn't been on my level.
"Well, its like Darkseid meets Islam see, an-"
"Woah, woah, woah. We can't run this. Eric, we can't alienate readers." ... | 2015-02-17T21:50:06 | 2015-02-17T20:53:20 | 186 | 13 |
[WP]You jokingly "bless" your towns water supply with friends. Shortly after 1 percent of the local population are reacting to tap water as if it were acid. | "What the hell did you do to the people of this town you sick sonofabitch?" The short-haired marshal racked the shotgun that was pointed at my chest. I'm not really sure why he did that, as a few cartidges tumbled to the floor. Not that I wasn't scared, I was terrified, but I couldn't help but notice.
"Whoa whoa... | NO SUSPECTS IN MASS LSD POISONING
dateline
Tahoe PD, in association with state and federal investigators, have announced today that they are no closer to resolving the mysterious and continuing Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (LSD) poisonings plaguing the city. LSD is a illegal recreational drug commonly known as "acid." ... | 2015-04-13T14:52:46 | 2015-04-13T14:28:04 | 66 | 38 |
[WP]Your girlfriend is an alien whose species is only slightly different from human beings. What are those changes, and how do you find out?
Potentially NSFW | "How the heck can you still be cold?" I asked as I pulled my jacket off and offered it to her.
She shivered, "I'm anemic, and your insane it has to be like 4 degrees out here!" she said.
I stretched my arms out and sighed as the cool fall breeze swept through the park.
"I'm fine."
She rolled her eyes and her ea... | The first time my girlfriend Alaina’s arms suddenly transformed into a vast array of writhing tentacles that could reach into the voids of time and space and allow her to show me visions of prophesy, we were sitting on the couch watching TV.
We were into the fifth hour of our 24 hour cable news marathon. There we sat,... | 2015-09-05T13:43:33 | 2015-09-05T12:51:46 | 145 | 50 |
[WP] Every generation the five brightest are paired up with the five dumbest in the world for a mysterious test. You are one of the ten, but nobody knows from which group they came. | "Well I'm not really sure why we brought all these people together" the man in charge said in a sad voice "all of you guys seem the same".
Murmurs were heard from a few of the members after this comment, annoyed that they were involved in this. Others simply expressed their frustration with gestures.
"Usually it's pr... | Whatever crazed survival game brought them to this island, the greater five didn't mind anymore.
They lived as kings.
The lesser five toiled and worked for 'the benefit of the group.' They were being exploited, but the general consensus (of the greater five) decided unanimously that it was, in fact, for the best. ... | 2016-03-03T06:05:43 | 2016-03-03T05:30:44 | 378 | 212 |
[WP] At 14, every human gains the ability to transform into their spirit animal. Your noble family, comprised entirely of wolves, isn't happy with your transformation... |
When he was five, he found an injured owl in the snow.
He looked around carefully. There was no one watching him from the icy ramparts of the castle. There was no one in the empty woods of darkling trees and snowy branches. He picked it up carefully and slipped it into his coat, carrying it up to the highest tower o... | I wanted to dance, and jump, and sing, but the looks on my parents' faces stopped me cold. I had transformed, rather ungracefully, and stood before my parents, expecting them to be smiling and clapping after they saw me in all my glory, but their faces had fallen. Their smiles vanished and their hands didn't move from ... | 2017-01-21T21:59:31 | 2017-01-21T18:59:29 | 45 | 19 |
[WP] You break into a house, hoping to find something expensive to steal. Instead you find a child that went missing two months ago tied up in the spare bedroom. | >People like to talk about moments that have "changed their lives." But the fact is, it's very rare that someone actually had something change their lives. They've mostly been moments that were the last in a series of events that led them to that point. They were 95% of the way there, and that "moment" just pushed t... | My partner in crime Ian had told me the best house to hit up on the block would be 561 Centercrest Road. It was a guaranteed big money house. I was a fantastic thief. I was typically in and out of a place in 3 minutes flat, and that was with emptying the valuables out a place. I'd already figured out the layout of the ... | 2017-02-05T22:44:42 | 2017-02-05T18:20:45 | 40 | 11 |
[WP] A superhero and villain accidentally end up sitting next to each other at the premiere of a film about their first battle.
Whether they do or do not recognise each other is up to you. | The last few guests scurried to their seats as the boom of the opening credits began. Ben slipped into the nearest open seat on the end. It was easier to turn his charm to one person than two on either side.
He turned a winning smile on the man sitting next to him, then froze. Levi regarded him cooly, turning his hea... | John Clark, aka "The Silver Gauntlet" took his seat with a slight groan. He wasn't as young as he used to be. "Man where did the time go", he asked himself. He used to be young and powerful and when his job led him to putting people in their place, he sure as heck did it. And now he was about to see a film dedicated to... | 2017-03-13T06:07:49 | 2017-03-13T05:24:23 | 23 | 11 |
[WP] Aliens came to Earth and call us the "most advanced species", the "final form of evolution". Not because of technology, but because we are the only species in universe that can make fun about almost everything. | The aliens had consumed all of the stand up comedy that Earth had to offer. Hundreds of hours of Netflix and Youtube had been watched by every man, woman, and child on the planet Kazox. The humans ability to find humor in life, death, skinny people, fat people, or humans that deprive themselves of key proteins by onl... | The aliens arrived, excited, exalted. They'd traveled so very far, so very long, just for this glorious moment.
After all these years, they'd finally be meeting the one species that just really did not give a fuck. In a universe that was nigh infinite, that was a startlingly unique occurrence.
See, sentience comes ... | 2017-03-20T05:42:13 | 2017-03-20T05:20:21 | 22 | 16 |
[WP] "I wish I was born in the 90s," says the young girl. Suddenly, her surroundings change- french flags fly above and around her, crowds are cheering. It is France, 1793. The king is dead. Long live the revolution. | It wasn't the crowd, or the shouting, or the fire, but her body that shocked her the most. She felt frail and ached all over. She looked down to see her hands. They were cracked like aged leather. Her skin papery and thin.
"Where am I? What's happening?" She asked the crowd.
A man turned to her. He must have bee... | She looked around the street bustling with activity. Full of people. All speaking French. She had taken two and a half years of French in high school but the language here was almost foreign to her.
"Good day miss," said a passerby.
"Good day to you as well," she replied.
"Are you going to the assembly in the squa... | 2017-04-24T09:02:20 | 2017-04-24T08:23:15 | 1,096 | 121 |
[WP] When humans join the galactic community, we find out that the domestication of animals is a rare feat unique to us. Aliens are amazed by our training of dogs, riding of horses, comfort with cats, and so on. This has had a profound effect on perceptions of our species... | Dear Dairy...
The first day on the ship, as the first human in interstellar space, I obviously had some difficulties with cultural differences. Here's a bit of what happened today, when I was fetched for a walk through the ship...
"So, Vokra'? Is it okay if I bring my dog along on the tour?"
It was still hard t... | **Tytekk'tak:** I strongly suggest we destroy their planet.
**Galactic Council Collective Mind:** Tytekk'tak, you are highly respected and have served the Galactic Council for tens of thousands of cycles. However, we are shocked at your suggestion. We have not needed to eliminate any race in over 500,000 cycles. Know ... | 2017-06-05T01:55:07 | 2017-06-05T00:34:20 | 27 | 18 |
[WP] Write a really BAD guide for getting a guy/girl. Bonus points if the narrator is mocking you for still being single.
[removed] | Is that you?
On a Saturday night, checking your phone and Facebook feeds over and over, waiting for that special someone to reply? Laughing it off as your friends ask you whether you have a date, when in reality your heart has fragmented into a million shards? Waking from yet another surreal dream where you *almost* h... | Excerpts from "Hunting and Containment: A Modern Womans Guide to bagging a Man"
Intelligent Men: You know that stereotype about nerds/geeks being virgins? Yeah, that isn't exactly true anymore. You actually thought that you'd be able to rock up to a Magic tournament in a slinky dress that shows off your devotion to Gr... | 2017-06-09T23:31:50 | 2017-06-09T23:26:48 | 221 | 22 |
[WP] You have a small superpower. Whenever you tap someone on the shoulder, they always look over that shoulder, without fail. At first, you just used this for harmless pranks. Then, you realized you can kill people by tapping both of their shoulders. | Kindergarten starts today! I'm so excited, I'm a big kid now. My teacher, Ms Mcconel, she's so fun, she plays games, sings songs. We're learning a new song today she says! Yay!
First she shows us, then we do it together.
The music plays.
We put our hands on our heads
"heaads"
Then our shoulders
"shouull--"
... | I love it! Such a fun party trick. I can tap on any dumbass shoulder and they look. Slap on my fanny pack and throw on some Alanis Morissette. 90s is in full force with this one.
It was entirely new to me. A whole new power for me to play with. Oh how delightful. I hated the last one. It has always been mundane shi... | 2017-06-27T19:52:50 | 2017-06-27T17:39:26 | 3,313 | 29 |
[WP] Germany is actually predestined to lose every world war it participates in. The sixteenth world war is now being fought, and Germany has taken over all of Europe. Make them lose the war in the most ridiculous way possible. | General Beck burst into the mess hall and swept his gaze across the startled soldiers. They had been drinking, celebrating the surrender of France, and the apparent end of the war. But they didn't know about the curse. Few but the inner circle did. Germany must fall.
The men quickly stood at attention, as well as the... | The year is 2198. The entire world has seen 15 world wars. All of which Germany has participated... and... err... lost. Y-yeah... they lost 15 times. This the 16th war, and everyone expects Germany to lose. People aren't taking Germany seriously anymore. Many keep joking about Germany.
But it looks like things will cha... | 2017-08-18T05:03:51 | 2017-08-18T02:09:31 | 1,294 | 15 |
[WP] Germany is actually predestined to lose every world war it participates in. The sixteenth world war is now being fought, and Germany has taken over all of Europe. Make them lose the war in the most ridiculous way possible. | "Wait so if this is the only the third World War why was it called the Sixteenth World War?"
"Well Timmy, that's because a company called Microsoft, notorious for being terrible at naming things, had won a government contract to name the war, and it stuck. We're lucky they didn't rename World War One World War 360!"... | The year is 2198. The entire world has seen 15 world wars. All of which Germany has participated... and... err... lost. Y-yeah... they lost 15 times. This the 16th war, and everyone expects Germany to lose. People aren't taking Germany seriously anymore. Many keep joking about Germany.
But it looks like things will cha... | 2017-08-18T04:28:36 | 2017-08-18T02:09:31 | 102 | 15 |
[WP] Germany is actually predestined to lose every world war it participates in. The sixteenth world war is now being fought, and Germany has taken over all of Europe. Make them lose the war in the most ridiculous way possible. | “Were they planning this?” The General looked to the space command desk in the situation room.
The young intelligence officer did not look away from the holograph GUI showing satellite positions and low earth orbit vehicular traffic. “No activity, sir.” She tapped a few buttons and spoke, exasperated, “It doesn’t look... | It was called the blind luck victory in textbooks. The day when the very earth itself called out to the German's and shouted "NO." The latter from the more poetically minded.
Everyone else calls it idiocy redefined.
Every single weather forecast listed that day as having extremely bad weather. Thunderstorms with hi... | 2017-08-18T05:56:40 | 2017-08-18T05:45:39 | 54 | 10 |
[WP] Write a letter to someone you miss
It's been a rough week. Everyone has someone they wish were still with them. Write to them and tell them how you feel. Pour your heart out. No judging. Even if they never see it, someone will. And thank you. It's tough to be alone. | Alex,
It has been 99 days since you left. 99 days. Some days are easier than the rest. There are days when I genuinely smile as I remember you. You left me with so many good memories; and I thank you for each and every one. I miss you. Every. Single. Day.
You said we'd be together for the rest of our lives - we just ... | Dear self, I hate you. I hate what we've become. When did we change, when did we grow so old and angry, and when did we decide to be alone? I know that we did not always act like this. I know we used to laugh, and let other people get close. Remember when we had so many friends? remember when we go to other people's ho... | 2017-11-05T21:44:07 | 2017-11-05T19:56:15 | 1,462 | 799 |
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