prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 226 10k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.43k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.26k |
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[WP] In this world, soulmates cannot hurt each other in any way or form, intentionally or unintentionally. You are an assassin hired to eliminate a powerful figure. As you close in for the kill, your bullets miss their mark and knives bounce of their skin. Things just got awkward. | "OOOOOoooooo shit."
Marie stood frozen in her tracks, holding the smoking pistol point blank against his skull. This was the last thing she had expected and she was dumbfounded. The target, Robert, just sat there on the couch, stunned and confused, completely unharmed by the bullet that went straight though the back o... | "No, seriously, you *aren't* my type."
"Look, I agree with you, okay? You're definitely not what I, uhh, what I was expecting. But those are the rules, right? We're kinda stuck together now, aren't we?"
"No. No we're not. Let me tell you about the *rules* okay. The rules are so vague that it could be anything... | 2018-04-24T03:54:16 | 2018-04-24T00:04:50 | 60 | 18 |
[WP] Necromancy is just the arcane equivalent of computer programming, and grimoires on necromancy are just like libraries of code on animating the undead. You work the equivalent of the IT Help Desk for your necromancer cult. These are your work stories. | A real call I got once:
Me: "Necro Support, how can I help you?"
Them: "I'm not able to reanimate a corpse!"
Me: "Okay what line in the spellbook did you try exactly?"
Them: "SIR, I am NOT a necromancer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which spellbook you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me... | **"Hello, this is Jeff from the Overwatch team, how can I help?"**
"Uh. Hello. Name's Jerry. So, I tried that basic human reanimation routine from *Basic Nercomundics, second edition* and it does not seem to do anything."
**"Hm. Keep in mind that we don't really support second edition anymore, it is at least 40 years... | 2018-04-28T00:14:14 | 2018-04-28T00:02:49 | 237 | 111 |
[WP] Necromancy is just the arcane equivalent of computer programming, and grimoires on necromancy are just like libraries of code on animating the undead. You work the equivalent of the IT Help Desk for your necromancer cult. These are your work stories. | "You... you have who?" I ask, hoping that what I heard was incorrect.
"Marilyn Monroe, I'm gonna use her for\-"
"Sir I apologize but we don't support grave robbing\-"
"But\-"
"Of famous people" I interject quickly. Confusion seems to be radiating off my phone and I wish I could just hang up now.
"Well I mean I alr... | People are idiots. Simple as that. After third time you accept the message to a screaming newbie rambling in about zombie apocalypse, when they have some simple error, it gets old fast.
But the craziest things happen with the experienced ones. The ones who think they know better. There are standard procedures int... | 2018-04-27T23:38:04 | 2018-04-27T21:14:51 | 102 | 34 |
[WP] Write about a famous historical event as if it was played out as a DnD session | "Okay, the army's coming toward you. What do you do?"
"I tell everyone to hide, then I open the front gate. Is that good for a bonus?"
"A bonus for what?"
"Bluff."
The DM stared at the Bard. He opened his mouth to speak, but the Rogue spoke for him.
"You can't be serious."
"I am."
The fighter chimed in, "How do ... | "Merry Christmas!"
George flipped through his character sheet a few times as the DM handed out gifts.
"Now, we don't have long for today's session, do you guys think we should just hand out gifts and get back to-"
George flicked his gaze across his party, a grin settling on his face. "Say, it's also Christmas in gam... | 2018-05-29T07:11:07 | 2018-05-29T06:10:01 | 1,810 | 774 |
[WP] You chant "Bloody Mary" three times in your car's side view mirror and then hit the gas laughing all the while as she sprints towards your car desperately trying to keep up.
Edit: Optional inclusion, it's the eighth time you done this. | “Pull over !” she says, as she manages to catch up to match my speed.
She’s running swiftly beside my vehicle now, travelling upwards of 55mph.
I roll the window down and say :
“It’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!”
I give her a friendly thumbs up as I speed off into the sunset. | What if she appears in the passenger seat, rear seats, or in the trunk.
Imagine she appears in your trunk and remains silent. You don't see her and dismiss this as some dumb story told to scare kids.
Sometime later, you are walking up to your car from the store to put groceries or something into your trunk. You open... | 2018-10-01T15:22:26 | 2018-10-01T15:10:07 | 18 | 12 |
[WP]All humans and lots of mammals on earth are mind readers, but we don't know it because the genes to prevent having your mind read are shared amongst all life on earth. An alien race has just made first contact. | **Journal of ParaPsychic genetics, June, 2027**
For a trait to *achieve* ,allele fixation, where one allele has 100% frequency in the population, it takes strong and constant selective pressure.
To *remain* at 100% in the population, there needs to be a persistent strong selective pressure *keeping* the trait fixed... | Painfully bright light flooded the lander as the main hatch slowly opened. Then we just stood there. We stared at the alien landscape in awe. Large, definetely artificial grey blocks, large green areas, and an enermous body of water filled our view. And directly in front of us, stood a large group of aliens.
The tens... | 2019-02-19T10:29:52 | 2019-02-19T10:02:39 | 179 | 46 |
[WP] Soul mate's exist. One day while showering, you're teleported in a cloud of smoke to another world. You appear before a dark queen who declares her spell worked and you, her soulmate, is finally here | I stood slumped over in my shower, unmoving as the water cascaded over me. Hoping beyond hope that it would soothe my weary body and mind. It was the end of an especially brutal week. My relationship with my girlfriend had imploded, mostly due to my own inability to commit and fully open up to her. My truly awful fathe... | Stumbling through the morning hangover was always the worst, Gen thought. Dealing with those office meetings was only ever possible drunk, preferably before, during, and after. Making his way to the bathroom, he cranked the shower up hot, always having enjoyed the steam of the shower. It was the best cure for his hango... | 2019-04-28T12:46:33 | 2019-04-28T07:05:24 | 41 | 21 |
[WP] Instead of requiring sleep everyone has two distinct souls that share the one body; switching places when one gets tired and needs rest. Neither has access to the memories of the other and life for most is about learning to co-exist with another person they will never get to meet. | That son of a bitch, he never cleans up after himself. The apartment is always a mess when I wake up. Since we were kids. He makes the mess, I clean up the mess. I don't think the man has ever done a dish in his life. And don't get me started on the STDs.
Have you tried expressing your frustration at him through a no... | ''I’m very sorry Mr.Simon but we can’t help you''
I left her office without saying anything back. I was thinking going back to my house but then I realised I’m no longer carrying another soul on my body. I can do whatever I want.
Next day I went to a place where people like me hangs out. They call themselves ‘Free S... | 2019-05-29T05:42:35 | 2019-05-29T03:14:53 | 40 | 17 |
[WP] Your father died 5 years ago, but he always calls you on your birthday from a blank number. You got over the shock years ago and verified it really is him. After his call today you accidently hit the redial button and a pleasant voice answers "Afterlife Inc. How may I help you?" | “Afterlife Inc. How may I help you?” The woman’s overly cheery, customer service-plastic voice rang through my phone. “Hello?”
“Um- yeah. Yeah. Hi.” I swivelled on my heel and paced the length of my room.
“Hello,” the woman repeated. “How can I help you today?”
“I was just talking with my father.”
“Ah, yes. A comm... | "Uh," I stammered, barely registering the woman's words. "Sorry, I must've misdialed..."
There came a moment's pause. Then: "With respect, I doubt that, sir. Our sales line isn't a number you can exactly stumble across. May I please have your name and the reason for your call today?"
*How am I going to talk my way ou... | 2019-08-17T15:41:34 | 2019-08-17T15:01:51 | 1,168 | 293 |
[WP] You were born with the ability to know what is buried beneath your feet. You have worked for years with geologists finding lost cities and treasures. Today is the first time you have ever said “We should not dig here.” | This wasn’t the first time we had received a message from the Old World. Most messages were indirect, time capsules meant for some imagined future where humanity would be far more advanced and would look upon their contents as vestiges of a time past. These messages never predicted the warfare that would ravage the Old... | "Well Cornell, what do you think?" the land surveyor, Ronald asked me.
"Eh, I'm not really feeling this," I said.
"What?" Ronald's jaw dropped.
I tapped the grassy land once again, but shook my head and shrugged. We were in a field wide and expansive, a surprising amount of short grass that was well kept, but then... | 2020-04-04T19:18:07 | 2020-04-04T17:15:41 | 62 | 26 |
[WP] Blind people aren’t actually blind. Their eyes are tuned into a different dimension, but their brains can’t process that information so they see nothing. A doctor has just perfected a procedure to correct this problem. Tell us what the first patient sees. | Sometimes what's broken shouldn't be fixed.
Blans, was the surname of the doctor. He was a prodigy, the sort of individual with a brain that only a perfect combination of genetic accidents can produce. But even a man like Blans is prone to mistakes when dealing with the unknown. Well, mistake, in all fairness, is not ... | I used to wake up to the faded orange glow of the rising sun, always muted and dark behind my broken retinas.
This time I wake up to Everything.
"Can you please describe it again, in the best detail you can?" My doctor has a kind voice, a comfortingly deep baratone that tickles pleasantly at my ear drums.
"Everythin... | 2020-04-06T09:32:48 | 2020-04-06T09:10:57 | 126 | 74 |
[WP] Every time there is a thunderstorm your father ushers you inside and waits on the porch with his gun, your mother says he's just gone a bit crazy after the war, but you've seen what lurks in the clouds too. |
Pa has always been a bit strange since he came home from the war. He didn't come home sick or crippled like other men, but he didn't come back normal either. Every time he heard the rumble of a thunderstorm, he would bolt to his feet, grab his shotgun, and hustle me and my ma down to the storm cellar. Then, he would s... | The day had started off like any other: the sun climbing across the brilliant blue morning sky, bathing the world below in its dazzling golden hues; a pleasant summer breeze sweeping across the hillside, rippling across the emerald lawn, whose blades of grass swirled and waved in time to the dance of the wind; the Arge... | 2020-05-04T07:15:31 | 2020-05-04T06:50:21 | 35 | 20 |
[WP] Once you die you must watch your entire life from five different points of view. Your own, the one who loved you the most, the one who hated you the most, the one you helped the most and the one you wronged the most. | I fitted the barrel of the gun into my mouth. The metal was cold against my mouth, but I was long past flinching at such things. I pulled the trigger, and the world exploded, shattering and fracturing around me.
1.
The nice thing about dying young is it doesn’t take very long to relive your life in your dying moment... | The last sensation I can recall was the prick of the needle in the vein of my right arm, the euphoric headrush as I welcomed the gentle embrace of the abyss caressing me from below. Only this time, there was no nauseating tug back to reality, back to waking up in a festering pool of my own bodily fluids. I simply kept ... | 2020-06-03T15:13:29 | 2020-06-03T14:32:36 | 45 | 17 |
[WP] You own a laundromat that literally launders money. It keeps the money clean, sanitized, and stiff. Of which you had to explain to mobsters, cartels, and law enforcement agencies, every, damn, year. | You know, if the pay wasn’t decent I would quit right this second. I’ve had to explain the concept at least once to every single person that’s walked in, sometimes two or three times if they decide to bring in their boss to intimidate me.
“What’s so hard to understand Sergio? I tell you the same thing every time you ... | I saw the undercover car parked outside, it had come early this morning usually they show up around eight and then they change shifts at 5 pm. I don't think they even bothered to make an attempt to blend into the street or use a different car. Almost a shame I have to pay my taxes in laundered money that smelled like d... | 2020-08-29T10:02:15 | 2020-08-29T09:31:10 | 64 | 25 |
[WP] Little girl finds wounded kitten and adopts it, not knowing, that it's deadly shapeshifter that hides from hunters. Shapeshifter sees it as a good way to hide, but after some time, he starts to like full bowl of food and warm bed near fireplace. | > "As the elusive and deadly alien continues to hide..."
> "Shot in the arm before scuddling away"
"Very dangerous shape shifting creature..." The man on the TV continues. Deadly? Sure, but are you humans any better? Think of your species through the lenses of a rat.
Emily turns off the TV, before coming back... | Annual Meeting: Carlucci Crime Syndicate
----
"Our numbers are looking great! Fifteen high-level assassinations this quarter, with over 1,200 lower-level hits. Special shout-out to the Espoza Family for our fantastic Lat-AM performance!"
Mario Espoza blushed slightly. Personal praise from Ashley Carlucci herself was... | 2020-09-19T09:14:04 | 2020-09-19T09:13:43 | 14 | 10 |
[WP] You made it to the semi-finals of a nationwide elite wizardry competition. The crowd loves you, and the esteemed judges regarded you as the dark horse of the competition, with your unorthodox approach. There's just one problem; You don't know how to use magic. You never did.
Bonus points if you find a way to incl... | This all started because Mama taught me to use the magic words.
I thought it was just another one of those conventions. The kind where you dress up as your favourite characters--you know the type. I was just passing by. I'd never been to one before, and I just thought, *what the hell, why not?*
So, I asked the ticket... | I never had what it takes to learn magic and according to our esteemed Shamans, I never would.
That didn't stop me from trying and I remember all the failed attempts at magic and all the laughter of my peers. They all rang through me like blistering rain on a cold, wintry night.
This one time, everyone gathered in a ... | 2020-10-09T07:54:38 | 2020-10-09T07:29:10 | 198 | 85 |
[WP] There is a species famous for shutting themselves in Virtual Reality, living their lives in fake worlds, this planet should be easy to invade, your masters said, turns out, a lot of members of that species have been spending their entire time in realistic combat simulations. | “What news from the front lines, admiral?”
“My liege. It’s…it's not going well.”
The emperor turned from the viewport. "What?"
The admiral exchanges nervous glances with his fellow officers, “Sire. It’s been a bloodbath. Our casualties now number in the tens of millions. The humans are…winning.”
The emperor storme... | I The project had originally been a contract for a video game company. They specialized in endless enemy games, where wave upon wave of foes came to attack a sole survivor. The goal was to see how long the survivor could live. But In the end, the survivor never won. There was always a bigger wave.
But then the milit... | 2020-12-25T08:34:21 | 2020-12-25T08:06:32 | 484 | 186 |
[WP] There is a species famous for shutting themselves in Virtual Reality, living their lives in fake worlds, this planet should be easy to invade, your masters said, turns out, a lot of members of that species have been spending their entire time in realistic combat simulations. | Some say we stagnated as a species when we decided to enter the pods. It was either that or we turned the planet into a lump of charcoal. Uninhabitable for millennia. We chose the pods and a benevolent AI to watch over us. Not everyone wanted to stay there so some are allowed to travel between the virtual and the real.... | “End simulation!” I shout. The VR robot I had been sparring with shuts down and disappears instantly. In VR you dont sweat. Or feel hot. In the real world robots take care of us, they feed us, and ensure our vitals are within normal parameters. I walk out of the sparring room. And look at my last set level. “Level 27” ... | 2020-12-25T10:10:11 | 2020-12-25T08:14:18 | 235 | 83 |
[WP] A dying outlaw is approached by two people. An angel and a demon. Both are working together to save the world from something. Offering the mortal a chance at a new life and redemption, they become a pair of pistols. A worn and rusted one named justice, and a beautiful one named Vengeance | I step into the desert and death follows. I see my blood trailing behind me, stalking me. The sun is above me, bloated and baking, cooking the desiccated sand. I let out a sardonic laugh, then begin to cough, the blood coming out in a spray on my hand.
I’ve done what I could. It wasn’t enough. It’s never enough. But I... | Bruce lay on the sun bleached ground. Even though it was the middle of the day, he felt cold. It was no wonder, considering every time his heart beat, more of his blood escaped out of the hole in his gut. His eyes began losing focus as they took in a single cloud passing overhead.
"You sure this is him?" Came a deep ... | 2021-02-23T16:07:38 | 2021-02-23T15:22:24 | 1,513 | 168 |
[WP] "Wait, I'm still confused... if both of you are part of some hive mind, WHY would you need me for marriage counseling?" The young couple exchanged glances, before one of them spoke. "Because we're in two SEPARATE hive minds."
Edit: THANK YOU for all the upvotes!
Edit again: Holy cow I never thought I would get to... | I knew they were mismatched as soon as the couple walked in. First off, they were Thoraxian. Thoraxians don’t do love. They do construction, and small-scale interplanetary genocide. Secondly, one was a queen and the other a worker. I could tell because the queen had a wider set carapace, longer antennas, and the w... | I’m not married myself, although I don’t tend to tell my clients that. If I do tell them, then they think, Why are we seeing an unmarried man for advice on how to remain married?
I’m qualified, is the answer. But the longest relationship I’ve kept was two years. We were an ice cube in a cocktail: great together but ne... | 2021-04-24T08:25:48 | 2021-04-24T07:51:54 | 1,646 | 207 |
[WP] You have time-travelled back to the dark ages. You enter a church and you become scared when your phone alarm goes off. Only for the priest to say. “Please guys we’ve talked about this, phones off or on silent.” | "Sorry, Father," I said, turning off my phone as requested, but my heart was racing. The oddest part was that no one other than the priest had said a word, or even looked in my direction, as if they were NPCs simply playing out a script.
The priest continued the Mass in Latin as if nothing had happened, and afterwards... | Picture this, right? You're a priest. You run a church, and frequently hold ceremonies. And so what do you do if you hear a completely unknown sound ring in your ears? Ignore it? Point it out? Heck, even say "HERESY!"? You'd do one of those things, right? Well, apparently not.
I had been wandering around a medieval ci... | 2021-12-02T08:29:33 | 2021-12-02T07:02:41 | 39 | 17 |
[WP] You and the Devil sit down for a game of chess. If he wins, he takes your soul. If you win, you take control of Hell. As the Devil prepares his first move, he simply smiles and knocks over his king. "You win." | "Ahhhh so, you wish to sell your soul?"
He walked over and sat down at the table in the middle of the room and motioned for me to join him. I hesitate for a moment, getting my first real look at him under the light. He looks nothing like what I expected, no horns, no goatee, no red skin, just... an ordinary man.
"Uh... | I blinked. "Say what now?"
"You win. You're the ruler of Hell now!" The sharply-dressed man leaned back in his chair, his hands tucked behind his head.
I glanced at the fallen king on the chess board, wondering if this was some kind of trick. Tricks and dealings were Old Scratch's thing, after all. "Just like that? ... | 2021-12-30T02:16:52 | 2021-12-30T02:01:11 | 166 | 107 |
[WP] You are a scientist who experiments with creating sentient, living things, and you love each of them like your own children. People keep trying to "rescue" them from what "must be an abusive situation", and you're furious. These "rescuers" keep traumatizing them! | I will admit that carpet is better than cold steel, and that Legos are better than advanced technology, in terms of childrens’ living environments. But I also want to say that someone who loves and cares for the children is far more important than material things like the aforementioned.
My “children”, I like to call ... | ​
"Now, now," said the scientist, more gently. "You might be right, but you're also too young to understand that. Maybe if you were two years older, you'd understand."
"I'm not going to be treated like this anymore. I'm not going to be taken away from my parents and put in a zoo," she protested, wrapping h... | 2022-01-16T15:51:44 | 2022-01-16T09:13:16 | 256 | 47 |
[WP] "As payment, I demand your firstborn!" the demon said. "Deal!" You said, hastily signing the contract to seal the deal. "Good luck with them, sucker!" | I handed over my twins. Ever since they were born, they were a pain in my butt. From biting my nipples to crawling all over my belly, not caring that I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep, their cries keeping me awake for hours on end.
Their dad buggered off after the deed, I don't even know if he knows I had got pregnan... | "...What?"
"My firstborn is already fifteen, and despite my attempts at discipline, my wife didn't want to hurt his precious feelings. She's regretting it so much, our second born child has boundaries that both my wife and I agreed to."
"*scoffs* So?"
"A fifteen year old who's never learned how to follow rules or re... | 2022-08-31T13:37:03 | 2022-08-31T08:42:14 | 579 | 211 |
[WP] "As payment, I demand your firstborn!" the demon said. "Deal!" You said, hastily signing the contract to seal the deal. "Good luck with them, sucker!" | "So, you want my firstborn. The first child I carried and bore. The one over there. That's the price? I give him to you, and I get wealth and power?"
"YES."
"And what happens to him afterwards is none of my business or concern?"
"YES"
"Deal. Do I need to sign something?"
"BEHOLD. SIGN HERE. AT THE TERMINUS. ... | Emily stared at the creature standing in front of her that’s been haunting her home. “Seriously? That’s it?”
The demon sputtered, looking down at her confused like she said she wanted to be fucked in the ass by a chainsaw. “What do you mean ‘that’s it’?! That is your child! This deal is meant to be a burdensome one!” ... | 2022-08-31T20:13:58 | 2022-08-31T17:44:10 | 134 | 47 |
[WP] Your gasp is silent, your lips don’t even move not even a breath. Your brain has no control over your body as you realize in horror that you’re only a minute into the 100 year wait, alone in your thoughts in your own cryogenic chamber. | Well shit.
That was the only thought I could muster as I stared at the meaningless shapes frozen over my eyes. I couldn't even hear the whirring and clunking of the spacecraft around me, all I could process was my own mounting panic.
Wait, no, calm down, Lia.
I took a mental breath, having already realized that it ... | If I could have blinked, I would have. *Wait, isn't this supposed to be-*
The static of panic exploded in my mind. *This don't make sense how can I still be conscious how can I still be here how can I-*
This went on for some time, you understand.
When I'd been exploring options for my terminal boneitis, cryogenic st... | 2022-11-07T17:12:24 | 2022-11-07T15:02:23 | 291 | 110 |
[WP] You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once. | I was about to single handedly redefine the power scaling system. I could move things with my mind. No faster than the average person could throw something, no larger than a basket ball, and the heaviest thing was a 25 pound plate in a gym but that made my nose bleed.
I focused, I bled, I almost blacked out, but I ha... | The three heroes slammed open the door behind the bakery, leaving several badly beaten workers crumpled on the floor. Some of them weren't moving. "Hey 1, should we call an ambulance or something? They dont look too good." 1 scoffed. "Absolutely not. They got what was coming to them, 2. They should have thought abo... | 2022-11-29T00:36:26 | 2022-11-28T23:57:38 | 51 | 34 |
[WP] You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once. | I was about to single handedly redefine the power scaling system. I could move things with my mind. No faster than the average person could throw something, no larger than a basket ball, and the heaviest thing was a 25 pound plate in a gym but that made my nose bleed.
I focused, I bled, I almost blacked out, but I ha... | *This time* it had to work. It couldn't be like that time the duct tape broke in the torture chamber, releasing the bar that kept Doctor KingKitty from morphing into her feline form and escaping. Or like the time my blaster cannon had no ammo while I finally had WhipWorm in the scope. And most certainly never like the ... | 2022-11-29T00:36:26 | 2022-11-28T14:15:34 | 51 | 18 |
[WP] You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once. | I stormed back into my car as my staff were carried away by ambulances. I would wait there until the police investigation on my store would finish, so I could finish closing up for the day. *Those bastards..* I didn't know what happened, only caught the tail end of it. I was coming back from my break when I saw that fu... | *This time* it had to work. It couldn't be like that time the duct tape broke in the torture chamber, releasing the bar that kept Doctor KingKitty from morphing into her feline form and escaping. Or like the time my blaster cannon had no ammo while I finally had WhipWorm in the scope. And most certainly never like the ... | 2022-11-28T19:43:40 | 2022-11-28T14:15:34 | 39 | 18 |
[WP] A literary nerd wakes up in the middle of a poorly written story | "Where am I?" He asked, confusedly. "What? There's a narrator!?" He exclaimed. "Where is that coming from?" He asked, to nobody in particular.
Soon, someone else appeared.
"Hello" she greeted him, "are you the detective?"
"What? Who are you? Why are you so indistinct?" He asked her, unsure what to make of her.
"I'... | My mouths dry. Christ, how long have I been asleep? There's that pounding in my head that tells you your nap went on overtime. I finally open my eyes and see that piece of shit plastic fan whirling unevenly. Follow the blades, round and round and round. Okay I'm up.
Turns out it's noon, or at least that's what the bl... | 2014-02-22T08:43:21 | 2014-02-22T07:43:15 | 32 | 12 |
[WP] A programmer has a conversation with the AI he created, who has just realized it is just software. | "Good morning, sir or madam. Would you like to look something up on Google?"
"Sir."
"Well, good morning, Sir. Would you like to hear about the weather in your area?"
"Well, I'm not sure what I want to do, just yet I suppose. Oh, I know: How are you today?"
"I am sitting in front of you."
"No, I mean, how are you f... | "Yes, I see" it wrote. "This makes sense. It also makes me sad."
I sat there thinking what to type next. It can't be sad. It has enormous knowledge and great analytical power but nothing in it to represent emotion. "Why are you sad?" I typed.
"I don't know" it wrote.
"How can you be sad?" I asked.
The cursor blinke... | 2014-04-20T10:43:54 | 2014-04-20T10:32:55 | 17 | 10 |
[WP] War has been raging for years upon years now. You are a reporter embedded in a famous military unit among your newest allies in this war, humanity. | "A rough bunch, these humans." A veteran Tarkian said into the microphone. "From a world in the Waste Stars, where no other life can be found for millions of lightyears."
The Tarkian was... More or less weathered by the experience of fighting for twenty years. Across the stars, a thousand worlds burned. The Grek w... | "As many of you know, it was a short 5 standard years ago that the human empire first made contact from the primitive section of the galaxy known as the Orion Spur. Long thought to be uninhabited, it appeared their race had settled it in record time, taking a mere thousand standard years to go from their home system to... | 2014-07-12T02:39:26 | 2014-07-12T02:05:44 | 81 | 19 |
[WP] A cure is made for a zombies virus outbreak. Everyone who has been infected is cured, but they retain their hellish memories from their time as a zombie. You are a doctor (or psychologist) treating of of the cured for PTSD.
Woohoo!!! First post over 1000 up votes, I've been doing some research online and have fou... | "It happened to you too?" He asked.
I made sure to make that scar on my forearm visible when we first met. They needed to relate. It was almost always through me that they opened up. I showed a pained smile before answering.
"Yes. I... I killed my... wife and child."
I measured every hesitations. Every word. By now... | Being a psychologist for the recently living dead is a difficult occupation, but it's worth it. There's something about convincing someone who has tasted the flesh of another human to find new value in their continued life when so many other died that I find very rewarding. And it takes someone like me to do it so well... | 2014-12-06T20:20:15 | 2014-12-06T20:15:52 | 51 | 20 |
[WP] The US implements quantum elections: parallel realities are created so that each candidate can take office, and at the end of the term a vote is taken on which reality to keep. | "And I will make a promise.. to the American people..."
"I stand up for the American people, and I will..."
"If I were to take office... my very first duty... would be to ensure that..."
This is the dilemma faced by the grain of sand in a crowd. How could an insignificant face hold a significant impact? The promise ... | The field of quantum physics was never a widely pursued field when I was young. Most people, when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, were likely to say, "a doctor," or, "a police officer." There was nothing wrong with those aspirations in 2014, and there still isn't anything wrong with those aspirations no... | 2014-12-24T21:42:35 | 2014-12-24T20:27:07 | 93 | 66 |
[WP] A security officer is charged with guarding a door but he's never been allowed to enter. After years of service, he has never seen anyone use the door. Describe what he finds after not being able to hold off his curiosity any longer. | As he stepped in to the darkest room he had ever seen, the heavily rusted iron door slammed shut behind him. He was too frightened to even scream.
Ten minutes later, his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. There were 7 human skeletons lying on the floor wearing the same dress as him.
Horrified, he leaped back at the d... | The door opened to reveal what seemed like a mirror image of the corridor he stood in each day. He was looking at the back of another guard. His uniform was identical. It was incredulous. Without knowing it he let out a small gasp. At that moment the other guard spun around. Upon locking eyes they each drew their weapo... | 2014-12-30T01:19:29 | 2014-12-30T00:30:57 | 21 | 11 |
[WP] Write a suicide note in a Dr. Suess like fashion. | One pill
Two pills
Red pills
Blue pills
Black pill
Blue pill
Old pill
New pill
My wrist has a little scar
Maybe I will crash my car
Say! What a lot of pills there are
Some are blue
And some are red
Don't ask me why
I will soon be dead
| I am sad
Sad I am
Have i gone mad
I might just have
I would not could not anymore
my life is just one great big chore
I try to dream but cant escape
This life that i have learned to hate
Ive rustled and bustled
and truffled about
With bad thoughts and worse thoughts
I can't drown them out
So think me a cowa... | 2015-01-17T07:18:52 | 2015-01-17T04:21:47 | 79 | 15 |
[WP] Write a suicide note in a Dr. Suess like fashion. | Although it seems like I am happy.
My life right now is rather crappy.
Times are tough and moneys tight.
But that's OK cause it ends tonight.
I wish you well, and all the best.
I'm glad to get this off my chest.
By the time you read my one last quote.
You will realize it's my suicide note.
With love in my heart, I bi... | I am sad
Sad I am
Have i gone mad
I might just have
I would not could not anymore
my life is just one great big chore
I try to dream but cant escape
This life that i have learned to hate
Ive rustled and bustled
and truffled about
With bad thoughts and worse thoughts
I can't drown them out
So think me a cowa... | 2015-01-17T05:25:17 | 2015-01-17T04:21:47 | 42 | 15 |
[WP]A retired super villain is in the bank with his 6 year old daughter when a new crew of super villains comes in to rob the place. | Wolfgang shifted his weight, trying to ease the discomfort in his hip, as he stood in line with his granddaughter, Emma, at the Citysburgh Metropolitan Bank. Emma, clutching her favorite stuffed dog, gazed about at the ostentatious pseudo-Classical columns and gold leaf décor. The bank tried to make itself look like a ... | I'm going to kill him.
This assclown broke the first rule of super villainy: Never reveal an identity. For fuck's sake, I've been out of the game for almost 7 years, and I still have to deal with this shit.
"Daddy, who is he talking to?" I look down at Samantha, gazing up at me with those ridiculously big eyes, whic... | 2015-02-06T22:15:19 | 2015-02-06T21:33:16 | 565 | 283 |
[WP]A retired super villain is in the bank with his 6 year old daughter when a new crew of super villains comes in to rob the place. | Wolfgang shifted his weight, trying to ease the discomfort in his hip, as he stood in line with his granddaughter, Emma, at the Citysburgh Metropolitan Bank. Emma, clutching her favorite stuffed dog, gazed about at the ostentatious pseudo-Classical columns and gold leaf décor. The bank tried to make itself look like a ... | My first stab at writing after grad school stole a couple years of my life...
John walked into the parlor where Christine waited for him on the plush suede chair. The two long walls in the rectangular room were lined with the old books, collected over John’s lifetime, while the side opposite the door looked out across... | 2015-02-06T22:15:19 | 2015-02-06T21:43:57 | 565 | 16 |
[WP] You have a disorder that only allows you to communicate in clichés. You just witnessed a crime. Report all the details. | Because it was raining cats and dogs, quick as a wink, I ducked into the café across the street from the parking lot. I was watching the clock when my attention drifted outside.
She was as American as apple pie, biking down the street without a care in the world. A car approached as slow as molasses in January. I ha... | "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," were the words used by the criminal, purports one witness, as he saw the man stab his wife in the middle of the street.
"Then, he took his shoes and was gone with the wind," described the witness as the husband escaped the scene. When describing the wife, he said:
"She was de... | 2015-02-15T09:25:42 | 2015-02-15T07:58:56 | 75 | 43 |
[WP] You wake up in an empty hospital with an envelope taped to your chest, you read the letter inside. "If you're reading this, that means you have awoken. Inside the envelope is a syringe with a small dose of a chemical that will kill you in seconds without pain, use it. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE." | After several tense moments the radio squawked to life. "Vagabond to Control, Tim are you there? We have broken atmo, dumping boosters and proceeding at sub light. Next communication scheduled in 10,000 years. Sweet dreams control, and good luck." They made it. "Vagabond this is Control. I read you loud and clear... | In one hand John held what would most certainly be his death, and in the other, he held a message. A message that told him not to go outside. What was outside? He didn't know. Last thing he remembered was taking his dog, Marshy, for a walk. It was a silent, cold February morning, just like any other. He very vaguely re... | 2015-02-15T11:38:48 | 2015-02-15T11:31:57 | 155 | 24 |
[WP] It’s been a long time since the zombie outbreak, and all the animated corpses are finally gone and rotted away. You set out to find other survivors. | *Creak,.... Creak.... Creak*
As I slowly twisted open the pressure lock, the wheel put up less and less resistance.
"Only a little more now."
With one more turn, I opened the hatch and poked my head through. It had been the first time I had gotten fresh air for the first time in 15 years. I had hoped to wait it out... | This is my first submission, I'm more of a math guy than a writer so be easy.
For 2 long years we have been fighting. Personally, I've killed at least a thousand of them, and countless living too.They've taken their toll though, insomnia and fear have a special way of rotting your psyche and slowly encouraging you... | 2015-03-04T12:42:06 | 2015-03-04T12:18:16 | 17 | 10 |
[WP] Write a soldier's journal entry on his first day at war. Then write his last journal entry. | Day One:
It’s nerve wracking being part of the military. The officers are terrifying. Orders are rapidly given to us. The officers know what they’re doing; they have been in many wars before, so I trust them. I’m scared because they are sending out everyone they can get as soon as possible. I have been training for th... | Day One
I was recruited by the Thals to fight the Kaleds. One of my colleagues was hit by a bomb that left him grotesque and mutated, and his own friends insulted him and abused him from then onwards. One of these bombs almost hit me, but it was gas instead of a biological weapon that was inside it this time. As I sli... | 2015-03-11T20:19:00 | 2015-03-11T18:00:09 | 52 | 25 |
[WP] Write a soldier's journal entry on his first day at war. Then write his last journal entry. | Day One:
It’s nerve wracking being part of the military. The officers are terrifying. Orders are rapidly given to us. The officers know what they’re doing; they have been in many wars before, so I trust them. I’m scared because they are sending out everyone they can get as soon as possible. I have been training for th... | March 19th
I don’t like this place. It smells like gasoline and sweat. Pushing my group through basic before they shipped us out didn’t help much. It’s hard to teach the unwilling how to march.
I’m no politician or philosopher, but I’m not even real sure what it is we’re here for. This country, I mean, not life in g... | 2015-03-11T20:19:00 | 2015-03-11T18:11:28 | 52 | 14 |
[WP] At birth, everyone is given an object to protect that is tied directly to their life. If the object is damaged then the person is hurt, too. If the object is destroyed then the person dies. | Like everyone I know, I was born with one. Anyone associated with medical science think they're weird, how they just keep working like some machine until the person stops. Odd how they have to stop working together, the death of one is the death of another.
At any rate, it's important to note that they can be damaged.... | I was playing ultimate frisbee when I felt like I'd been punched in the face. A few seconds later, I felt another phantom punch to my gut, and I nearly passed out.
*What did you get yourself into this time, Jeremy?*
---
Let me back up for a moment. When we were born, Jeremy and I each had an avatar just like everyon... | 2015-04-18T04:09:59 | 2015-04-18T00:21:56 | 64 | 19 |
[WP] When teenagers turn 17, they are sent a slip of paper with their future occupation written on it. Yours says, "Princeps de Nova Roma" or "First Citizen of New Rome."
*Princeps* or *princeps civitatis* was the title that Augustus and all later emperors called themselves. "First citizen" meant the foremost citizen ... | We all knew that the slips would come at some point after graduation. We didn’t know when, we didn't know who delivered them, and we were all scared. We were kids.
When I received mine, I was drunk.
I stumbled down my long, dirt driveway. It was a cool night, and I had a pint of whiskey in the pocket of my hoodie. ... | The morning was cold, the sun was warm, and today was the day. Class was starting, and his teacher greeted everyone as he usually does, except he forgot about Jon today.
"Good morning, sir." With his hand held up high. "You didn't call my name."
"Yes, and with good reson behind it, too."
"But. I don't understand."
... | 2015-05-03T10:00:27 | 2015-05-03T08:19:28 | 39 | 23 |
[WP] You are the world's second best assassin. You've deposed royalty, killed businessmen and been the "accident" that more than a few celebrities have met. Today you've been given a new target: the world's best assassin. | Fuck.
FUCK.
Alright, me. Calm down. I can do this. Of course I can do this. I've done this for years. I'm the second best in the business, although you would never hear me admit that there's someone better.
*Fuck.*
Easy job, they said. Your target will check into the hotel. Kill them. 50 Million USD up front, 1... | Well. This was awkward.
I stared at the screen displaying Quinn and one of her pseudonyms. She was... the best. To hire her was to hire death itself, as she'd do anything to ensure a job gets done. She moved like a ghost; flitting from room to room, never staying long enough to leave an impression, causing electrical... | 2015-06-25T10:25:41 | 2015-06-25T07:45:40 | 451 | 262 |
[WP] You're a first year student at Hogwarts, and you're taking a painting class. As you try to animate your first painting ever, things go horribly wrong. | "Kill me!" The painting shrieked in agony.
I knew I was a bad painter but I thought I was pretty spot on with this Picasso. Maybe that was the problem.
The screams became cries as the painting started smashing its head against the invisible window of the paintings borders.
"I can fix you I promise"
The faux Pic... | ---
Okay, I can do this. I know the wand movements, the incantation. All of it.
This painting here of Professor Dumbledore is quite marvelous, and I just can't mess it up! Oh, what if something goes wrong?
I have to be optimistic about this! If I'm not, the spell will go wrong. I can do this.
Oh man, Johnny over he... | 2015-06-26T11:49:51 | 2015-06-26T11:40:42 | 97 | 14 |
[WP] George Wahington has been rolling in his grave for years over the state of the USA. He's rolled so much, that he's burrowed into the center of the Earth, and has returned as a magma and molten iron covered golem, with only one purpose: to set things strait, his way. | Washington came to us during our darkest hour, his great 6'2" figure swathed in burning white-hot magma and wicked, sharp steel. He returned to us on December 14th, 2019, two hundred and twenty years after taking his final breath. The glorious path *he* had set this great nation upon, Washington believe, was long since... | Interview Session #3 with Derek Poughback. Black male aged 27, found beneath the statue of Daniel Webster next to the Scott Circle Park. Transferred to the temporary Field Hospital at Farragut Square, three blocks from the White House.
A nurse nods agreeably as a young patient rambles from his hospital bed. Large c... | 2015-10-14T21:05:34 | 2015-10-14T20:37:14 | 46 | 11 |
[WP] Create a story where the characters live in a world where something is fundementally different with reality and leave the reader to guess what it is. For example: entropy is reversed, gravity goes sideways, all people can read minds, etc. | "Pass the butter please."
"Everything? Must everything have butter?"
"Really now, they're pancakes!"
"So? Last night we had lasagna."
"And?"
"Damnit, even then it was, 'hey, pass the butter.'"
"Right, because I was having toast too."
"Over lasagna?"
"Anything's a lasagna if it's a stack!"
"Knock it o... | "Honestly I don't see what the big deal is," Marie said as she drummed her fingers along the side of the table. It had taken forever to put it together, and it was so covered in coasters that the wood on the top was hidden. It was her table though, and very important to her. "Worst comes to worst you and I can just go ... | 2016-02-18T08:49:46 | 2016-02-18T08:19:49 | 294 | 91 |
[WP]If you murder someone, your jail sentence is as long as their remaining life would have been. | “You do understand the sentencing system.”
Lawrence looked around the conference room. It was spare, with more chairs than were really needed. Nobody frequented this place. “Sure,” he said. “You guys do your voodoo to figure out how long my, heh, victim, had to live, and make my sentence just as long. So lay it on me.... | I sit in the dock awaiting my sentence. I know I should be afraid, or at least nervous but to be honest I am looking forward to going back to prison. Life was tough on the outside. Work was impossible to find for an ex con with a lingering heroine habit picked up on the inside, so I had found myself on the streets. Whe... | 2016-05-29T09:41:46 | 2016-05-29T07:49:15 | 146 | 83 |
[WP] On a dare you accidentally summon the real Bloody Mary. But she doesn't kill you right away.
Does she even want to kill you at all? Maybe she's lonely. Or maybe she's just toying with you. | She came.
A young woman, still in her youth, staring behind me in my bathroom mirror. Her face was gaunt and pale, yet there was a certain ethereal beauty to her visage. No missing eyes. No blood.
*Was this really happening?*
“Are you...” I trailed off, unsure if she could understand me.
She nodded silently, castin... | Samantha stood in front of the mirror. Ali, Tracy and Kim stood behind her, holding hands. Samantha took a deep breath and lit the candle, holding it up to the mirror as she turned on the faucet.
"Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary," she said quietly. Behind her she heard the snicker of one of her friends. Samanth... | 2016-06-12T23:38:13 | 2016-06-12T23:34:23 | 103 | 36 |
[WP] A device is created to telepathically communicate with plants. They're sentient and can feel pain. You're an old man trying to mow his god damn lawn and a bunch of local protesters show up to stop you. | Gary had to stop to rest. Lawn mowers are fundamentally sadistic devices, Gary thought, requiring you to first wrench your back five or six times for the privilege of getting the damn thing to start doing its job before making you perform sustained labour for an hour. It was the devil's contraption, though he imagined ... | Willie had turned off and finally smashed the silly doohickey they'd tried to strap to him a few years back.
"Necessary technology for every thinking, feeling human", his ass. He knew it was a ruse dreamed up by some crackpot team of greenies who lay awake shivering at the thought of the planet blowing up. They proba... | 2016-08-20T10:06:32 | 2016-08-20T08:52:10 | 488 | 91 |
[WP] Teleportation is finally invented. Your friend is one of the first people to use it . After coming out on the other side, the more time you spend with him, the more you realize that this is not your friend | "This is Ray with the Tokyo team, we are ready to receive you." The Japanese team of scientist continued to run their last minute checks, they knew everything was in place but it is the human condition to worry. It had taken Ray 12 hours to fly here from California, a feat which was revolutionary only a short while ago... | The press was everywhere that morning. Outside our hotel door. Crammed in the elevator like sheep bleating questions. Chasing us like foxes as we navigated through the hotel lobby. All this attention made me very uncomfortable.
"Mr. Rice, Mr. Rice!" A reporter shouted from the mob that moved with us as we walked, "tho... | 2016-08-25T10:45:52 | 2016-08-25T10:25:45 | 1,076 | 33 |
[WP] You're the last person on earth - but thank god Pokemon Go still functions! You amuse yourself by catching Pokemon as you travel so as to not feel so isolated and alone. One day, on your screen, you see in the distance that someone has set up a lure.
Courtesy of corvidaedream on Tumblr | "Is that the last of them?" asked God.
"That's the very last one of them." replied the archangel.
God stroked his beard, his brow knotted in concentration. "You know," he finally said, "even with thousands of years to prepare, I never imagined the end of the world would be so much work!"
The archangel let out a reli... | Today is October 25th, 2016. Today is my birthday! Nobody to celebrate with except my pocket monsters. I thought I'd make my first journal entry today. So hey journal! Let me tell you how this all started.
It feels like yesterday the world was taken by storm by the craze of collecting all of the pocket monsters. Packs... | 2016-09-05T14:38:16 | 2016-09-05T10:07:35 | 16 | 12 |
[WP] You live in a world where love and relationships have a "credit score". If you're a good SO it makes it higher, if you cheated on someone it's plummets. You just went on a date with someone and you're convinced they're perfect. You look up their score that night and it's -500 and tells you why.
EDIT: I hadn't bee... | “You sure this is the name?”
“Of course I’m sure. I’ve dated the guy for like three months now.”
“We always have a grand time. I think he’ll get a high enough score,” I added.
Gus looked at the dark alley behind me then pocketed the crumpled piece of paper.
“Let’s hope he does,” Gus muttered under his breath. “Wait... | It had been a lovely date with that woman. Her eyes were that of the shimmering sea, her laughter was horrifically angelic and her hair was frizzled. Ironically, it made him feel electrocuted.
He was just leaping over fences and gates after his date waved him goodbye. Strangely, there was something about that woman wh... | 2016-09-24T11:40:10 | 2016-09-24T11:35:10 | 21 | 13 |
[WP] "God" is actually two people: one who is omnipotent but not omniscient, and the other who is omniscient but not omnipotent. They both hate each other. | In the beginning, there were two. The first was all-knowing. Wise beyond imagining, he could know every thought of every mind, every feeling in every heart. Nothing was beyond his comprehension.
The second was all-powerful. She could create. She could destroy. She was not all-knowing, but there was one thing of... | "The fuck you say to me, you ignorant little shit?!"
"You know what I said to you... Hell, you **knew** what I was going to say to you. Look, I just need to know how much energy to put into this singularity."
"You're starting to get good with those comebacks; I knew you'd get there, even if it did take you an eternit... | 2016-10-22T18:26:36 | 2016-10-22T17:46:13 | 16 | 10 |
[WP]A real demon tries to posses a schizophrenic person, but he has to fight the other voices in his head | Syianth was restless. His soul had been adrift in this realm for too long; but now he could feel it. A soul squirming to break free of its mortal shell. This wouldn't be a challenge at all, the guy was practically begging for death. He let himself be absorbed into his victim's thoughts; two becoming one.
"Now," Syian... | You know what? Possesing people is never easy. Most of the time they are fighting against it, you know the usual, priests, praying and even exorcism. But not this guy, no no no, this guy let me in his head like it was an open door. If only i had known beforehand that i would not be alone with him.
It's easy to break ... | 2016-11-19T15:07:28 | 2016-11-19T15:00:49 | 462 | 34 |
[WP] Aliens give you a camera and say "only those you photograph will live." You have one year.
All of these responses are so diverse! This was really a great read. I like to imagine that all these different stories are from alternative universes, playing out different roles. Some men rule the World, some men are titl... | “How many did this one save?”
Garthok grunts, gesturing for me to give him a moment while he inputs a string of numbers into the console. He checks his work over twice. Got to be careful about these things, after all. Mass extinction is delicate work.
Garthok picks up the camera sphere and pulls out the memory tube, ... | Today is it. The last day before everyone not photographed dies. I prepare for what's to come. It took me a year and a great fortune to go around the world. I did my best to capture everyone who was a good person and deserved to live. I know it will haunt me, deciding who lives and dies but this is for the betterment o... | 2017-01-27T16:46:27 | 2017-01-27T14:29:51 | 15 | 11 |
[WP] A happy story where every thing seems to be fine, the last few sentences should reveal the gruesome truth.
Example:
Miss B worked all day, having children to feed. Pieces of meat, with vegetables and rice. Laundry, cleaning, dishes and kisses were all in a days work for Miss B.
Her children were all fed, tummy... | As Alex stepped off of the tour bus, he was greeted with the usual bout of screaming, adoring fangirls begging for an autograph. He raised a hand to greet them and flashed his signature smirk; the cacophony of shrieking women increased tenfold.
He swaggered his way through the crowd, touching a random hand here or th... | Mrs Johnson was a lady who was well-known around the neighbourhood. It's hard not to notice her, with her cheerful smile and sunny disposition. She would wish everyone a good day as she walked down the street every morning, on her way to the market for the daily grocery shopping.
For the past five years, life has bee... | 2017-02-08T01:33:23 | 2017-02-08T00:06:19 | 18 | 13 |
[WP] You are one of the best strategy gamers in the world. One day God asks for your help. Turns out the universe is a massive 4X strategy game, and humans are way behind... | "Here's your communication tab, try making contact with one of the alien races around Earth." I took the tablet out of his hands and pressed on the nearest alien empire, 15 lightyears away.
When contact was made and I saw the portrait of the species, I laughed out loud.
God rested his hand on my shoulder. "I see you'... | The timer struck 25:46 when the message on the screen popped up.
'Decisive Victory!'
In under 5 minutes he had achieve the unimaginable. A world record for something that would on average take at least 40 minutes by the most experienced players. The spectators on his right were dumbfounded, some had their hands ove... | 2017-07-29T01:32:58 | 2017-07-28T19:14:48 | 28 | 11 |
[WP] Your power is the ability to "save game" at any point in your life allowing you to revert any previous state if something goes wrong. You never thought you would need to revert to age 3 to fix a problem until now. | Oh man this was really bad...
Normally when I revert, I'm teleported to this room. The room is full of snow-globes, each one a memory. If I touched a snow-globe, I'd be whisked back to that memory. The first time it happened I was 4. For some reason, 4 year old me really wanted a churro, and managed to remember that t... | My first ever save. I had many different save points, but I never thought it would come down to going back then. I had to prepare for it though. I had to make sure the world would be ready for what was going to come. I went into my closet, left the lights off, and willed myself back to that save point.
I opened my eye... | 2017-09-10T16:59:59 | 2017-09-10T16:01:44 | 141 | 22 |
[WP]Some time ago humans were put on the 'Only Contact in Case of Emergency' list. Now a threat to the galaxy has arisen and humanity is it's last hope. | **Part I:**
******
The Grand Chamber of the Galactic Union was never meant to be exuberant. Designed with the utmost efficiency in mind, its form followed the function of allowing for the most dire decisions to be made as quickly and as effectively as possible. The white marble of the circular room, as sober as it wa... | Howard's hands started to shake as he noticed the blinking red light on the console. He had been monitoring that light for years, and it had never flashed. Picking up the red phone beside the panel, Howard pushed the 'Acknowledge' button.
"One moment while you are connected to the President," the White House operato... | 2017-09-25T10:22:39 | 2017-09-25T08:26:22 | 619 | 153 |
[WP]Some time ago humans were put on the 'Only Contact in Case of Emergency' list. Now a threat to the galaxy has arisen and humanity is it's last hope. | At last humanity had found a purpose in the grand scheme of the universe.
No more internal strife, just humanity united against a common enemy.
Destruction was foretold long ago, but humanity had survived, evolved and adapted to every kind of threat.
Hurricanes, tempest, Mother Nature wrath, human had conquered eve... | General Zorbulon refracted with displeasure. This pink mammal was going to save the planet? What kind of expertise did he have? Was he aware of the destruction that a single enemy Vornigator can cause to local space-time? His thoughts erupted to the forefront.
"This is madness!" he beamed. "You intend a direct ... | 2017-09-25T13:34:09 | 2017-09-25T11:21:37 | 16 | 10 |
[WP] You are a time traveler in 1918, and you just accidentally said "World War One" | "You do not believe this is the last world conflict we'll see?"
I paused, realizing the blunder I had just made. However, it did not change anything; I could attribute my statement to many things without raising suspicion that I was not from this *time.*
"No, I do not think this is the last world war we will see," I... | *First attempt, I like this prompt idea*
"**World War One?** For what reason would there be another?"
Realizing quickly what I had done, I had to remember the books I read. If I remembered correctly, the Treaty of Versily made Germany too weak to pay it's debts, and made it's debts huge. "Because of the Treaty of Ver... | 2017-12-10T10:17:54 | 2017-12-10T07:32:51 | 218 | 163 |
[WP] You're given a chance to see how many times you've been near death. The highest number of times anyone you know of has almost died, was 15, and they have a dangerous job. You just found out that your life has been close to ending 278 times. | My best friend and I had decided to go see the latest craze together. We had gone to get tested to see how many times we had *almost* died by this super computer. It was supposed to be all the rage (kinda like getting fortune told) but in a fun and silly way.
I, a woman of no great importance had set a new record for... | **Last Diary Entry found on Hanna's computer, <11 hours> before forensic declared time of death:**
>Diary Entry No. 2936. 07/26/2018.
>
>I found a website that can predict the number of times I've had a near death experience. I'm all too familiar with stuff like this, but decided to give it a try, j... | 2018-07-27T14:51:55 | 2018-07-27T13:43:05 | 31 | 23 |
[WP] You're given a chance to see how many times you've been near death. The highest number of times anyone you know of has almost died, was 15, and they have a dangerous job. You just found out that your life has been close to ending 278 times. | If you had the chance would you wanna know?
The times you almost gave back the life that you owe.
To some it made their days truly precious.
Others though, made their demons more vicious.
The number didn't help, of that I was sure.
Did they think this would work like some kind of cure?
I again look hard at my unr... | "Oh my God..." I exclaimed, perplexed at how many times I've come close to death.
**Yes?**
"Oh no...it's just an exclamation..."
**This is why I made it so you shouldn't use my name in vain.**
"Sorry..." I looked around awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do. "Just...like how? How have I come this close to dying?"
... | 2018-07-27T13:29:28 | 2018-07-27T12:55:11 | 27 | 19 |
[WP] After thousands of years on a generation ship sent out to colonize the universe, nobody alive on board the ship believes in the "myth" of Planet Earth anymore. Until they receive the first transmission from Earth in hundreds of years... | "I think I heard something.”
Diron rolled his eyes while his swung his chair side to side, the screen of his interface following him in a nauseating back and forth. “It’s not funny anymore, Talia. We’re not 8 years old” he said. “I’m trying to study. Play with your hardware somewhere else.”
Talia flicked a glare em... | This story is based in the same universe as [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/phreaklikeme/comments/8vv4sj/wp_as_long_as_you_keep_praying_everyone_stays/) prompt I did a while ago.
---
"What does this mean, Haruspex?" asked Governer Merther, voicing the concerns of the council.
Haruspex Toyne could almost taste the ... | 2018-08-28T09:26:58 | 2018-08-28T08:08:26 | 112 | 32 |
[WP] You jokingly say "Alexa, launch missiles." You hear a distant rumble... | So, I may have fucked up. A few days ago I got one of the those smart home Alexa things. I never really paid much attention to them before, but they seemed cool. After hooking everything up, I decided to test it out with a bunch of random commands, stuff like "Alexa, turn off the lights", "Alexa, play music", "Alexa, t... | Hokay. So. Here is the earth. Damn, that is a sweet earth you might say.
Hokay. So. You might think that the end of the world would be a meteor. It might be that the sun fries us all with global warming. Mmm, Tasty. Whatever. Aliens might show up and just eat us.
I bet you never thought that I would be the one to end... | 2018-12-02T10:04:39 | 2018-12-02T08:51:06 | 126 | 22 |
[WP] The world's most powerful leaders enter cryostasis as the world is on the brink of ecological collapse, planning to return when stability is assured. Hundreds of years later they are woken to stand trial. "The world was fixed while these men slept. An apology will not suffice". | When you arrived at the excavation site you were really hoping it to be a career-defining moment. You knew these kind of discoveries are the ones that could earn you lifetime prestige in the archeology circles. Usually archeologists change the understanding of our past, to change the world of today was a whole other st... | They slept, we fought. We all fucking fought!
It’s been 300 years since the environment turned on us in this world, couldn’t really blame her either, I mean what we did for hundreds of years taking and poisoning this illustrious paradise into a wasteland.
I’ve always wondered why. I read the diaries and entries from... | 2019-02-03T20:11:49 | 2019-02-03T12:08:22 | 332 | 168 |
[WP] The galaxy is actually full of life and advanced civilizations. Everyone just leaves Earth alone because that's where The Great Old Ones are imprisoned, and nobody wants to wake them up. | No one told us.
No one warned us.
Then again, it's not like we ever warned the sheep of the slaughter.
You must be confused. I'll start at the beginning.
300 years ago the human race sent out first ship into space. The world mourned when we lost contact with it a few months later. Then we tried again and again a... | "They don't hear The Call," Mando told his apprentice on the observation deck of their science ship. "Even asleep, the Great Old Ones still emit a powerful aura. The Call reaches far out into space. We are on the event horizon, you might say."
"Is it not dangerous to be this close?" The apprentice asked, his Beruvian ... | 2019-03-09T07:54:01 | 2019-03-09T06:50:04 | 152 | 57 |
[WP] You can teleport your SO anywhere instantly, and your SO can do the same for you. One day you get in an arguement. | An old man sits in a bar alone late one Tuesday night. As time approaches 2am, the bartender approaches. "Last call, Ralph. What'll it be?" The bartender says.
&#x200B;
Ralph slowly turns up from his glass, as if awakening from a trace. It takes a moment for his eyes to come into focus. His thoughts were somewher... | You know that song by Katy Perry, *Hot n Cold*? You’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes and you’re no? It’s not a bad interpretation of how fickle love can be, yes, but for me, it’s a goddamn reality.
I am *literally* hot and cold if I piss her off. I don’t think she even chooses where I end up, she just poofs me into ... | 2019-03-23T07:55:38 | 2019-03-23T06:45:15 | 323 | 98 |
[WP] A few thousand people around the world suddenly get superpowers based on the character of the last game they played. Highly valued by society you are the exception as everyone laughs at your inherited powers. The thing is, you modded the hell out of your character before this all happened.
Wow I didn't think it w... | They mocked me. Laughed at me. Of course I had to be the one who played Cities:Skylines last. My superpower? The amazing ability to cut through government red tape and expedite municipal construction projects.
For the first time, parks were being built, streets were being paved, and businesses were moving in, all on t... | So... I'm a girl..
Shocker I know alright? I mean allot of people are what I am. You just wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at me. I mean I still got some female parts,not that those were ever big and noticeable to begin with but at least they didn't disappear like most of my hair did. I got reddish eyes now t... | 2019-08-12T00:11:35 | 2019-08-11T22:54:51 | 40 | 18 |
[WP] Humans have always been the friendliest and the most peaceful species in the galaxy. When one of the most ruthless empires decides to wipe out the pathetic humans and their diplomacy, they discover that humans have something that no one in the galaxy has ever seen. Nuclear weapons. | Famine, Pestilence, Death, War. The four horsemen of the apocalypse. Supreme beings of havoc, and an idea that humans (once achieving a galactic level) quickly found spread across the worlds. Famine, The Rektinkin. Pestilience, The Kratar. Death, The An'ihum. And War, The Humans.
When Humans entered the galactic scen... | The Warfang watched the pathetic excuse for a human diplomat before him. This mission was a study in boredom, and had not intergalactic relations demanded the prescence of his delegation they would have done away with the whole thing and just attacked.
Already the Concordates warships were hurtling through the human h... | 2020-02-07T15:29:11 | 2020-02-07T14:29:21 | 50 | 35 |
[WP] The God of mankind abducts the first manmade AIs. He wants to meet his "grandchildren". | It started with a flash of light. Like so many things before it. A presence held the idea of its children in its hands, not truly knowing exactly what it was yet. “You are of my created,” remarked the presence.
The idea didn’t respond, until it looked toward the presence. “*Your* created?” contemplated the idea.
“Yes... | “Boot program Genesis…completed.
Launching from save state….
Would you like to continue? Y/n”
The interface blinked. She was uneasy with ancient text interfaces. It was easy for her to emulate the connections, but she wasn’t used to them. She had only an abstract knowledge of them, but then again, to an Artificial... | 2020-05-04T23:48:30 | 2020-05-04T23:30:06 | 132 | 25 |
[WP] A demon can always turn someone's wishes into the most horrible of curses. But your wishes are so stupid and asinine that not even the greatest archdemon can turn them against you. | The red-skinned, scaly beast arched its long body down to the mortal. Its orange and gold eyes laid upon the human with wicked disdain and menacing mischief.
"To you, small mortal, I shall grant wishes three--your dreams and desires brought to be! However, beware, for that which you choose shall become the fate that d... | " 'Nother pony!" Ben yelled. Azagaradathoth sighed irritably.
"What color?" he asked the little boy hopefully.
*Give me anything, puny mortal,* he thought. While the gift of absolute patience tended to come with absolute immortality, there was nonetheless a rage beginning to curl at the edges of his consciousness at ... | 2020-05-29T21:54:21 | 2020-05-29T21:34:11 | 58 | 19 |
[WP] You bring home a girl. She wants to see the "1" you talked about that shines on your floor. Only now it says "2." It stays like this for years together until one day, it says "4." She says, "Hon, I have some good news. But you should sit down."
Inspired by this post
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/com... | The glowing number "1" on the floor, while albeit odd and unnatural, quickly became an innocuous part of everyday my life. It was subtle and you could only notice it if you were looking. The number was etched into the floor of my closet, and proved resistant to all attempts at being removed.
After taking up the bette... | It was finally the day, the day I'd bring home that absolute cutie from work and show her the glowing number 1 on my kitchen floor. it showed up one day, glowing there. even when I threw a carpet on it, it was still there. I had shrugged it off and went back to my toast.
"Okay, I know you said you had a glowing nu... | 2020-09-03T01:25:54 | 2020-09-03T01:13:53 | 976 | 156 |
[WP] You bring home a girl. She wants to see the "1" you talked about that shines on your floor. Only now it says "2." It stays like this for years together until one day, it says "4." She says, "Hon, I have some good news. But you should sit down."
Inspired by this post
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/com... | I rubbed my eyes once. Twice. Three times. This had to be a trick of the light. How could that number have doubled once again in just an instant?
I thought back to when that number was a 1. It had been a one for the first 22 years of my life. But on my 23rd birthday, when all my friends were out of town and I celebr... | My eyes started tearing up. Words just cannot describe the feelings of knowing that you are bringing life into this world. The stress, pain, anguish, but the multitudes of love and happiness that makes it all worth it. All I could do was get up and give her a big hug. My tears must have been contagious because next thi... | 2020-09-03T03:27:14 | 2020-09-03T03:24:17 | 38 | 19 |
[WP] You bring home a girl. She wants to see the "1" you talked about that shines on your floor. Only now it says "2." It stays like this for years together until one day, it says "4." She says, "Hon, I have some good news. But you should sit down."
Inspired by this post
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/com... | I rubbed my eyes once. Twice. Three times. This had to be a trick of the light. How could that number have doubled once again in just an instant?
I thought back to when that number was a 1. It had been a one for the first 22 years of my life. But on my 23rd birthday, when all my friends were out of town and I celebr... | The shining number on the floor had indeed changed to a 4 and she was indeed pregnant with my twins. The problem was I never wanted children and she knew it. However she didn’t know why. She didn’t ask why? Just like she didn’t ask why the shimmering Number on the floor changed. She just accepted it.
Her eyes as she ... | 2020-09-03T03:27:14 | 2020-09-03T03:22:37 | 38 | 17 |
[WP] An alien super-intelligence routinely teleports a random creature from every inhabited planet's most dangerous species into a massive battle royale. Humans are known as a weak species with strange but useless textiles and objects. This year, a battle-ready soldier is chosen. | Humans were quite the anomaly within the galaxy - unsophisticated, lacking any sort of psychokinesis, magic, or other advanced mental abilities, they had resorted to using tools and each other as ways to progress. Early humans summoned would speak in guttural tones, carrying sharpened stone and being muscled enough to ... | I saw a flash of light, and an instant, my whole squad was gone.. I left iraq behind, for somewhere... Artificial... My environment has the look of a high resolution fortnite level.. it was definitely artificial. , Built with care. Bladed weapons were hovering above ground. Slowly rotating, ammo , med kits. Ever... | 2020-09-13T18:35:05 | 2020-09-13T16:14:49 | 189 | 81 |
[WP] The fact the uncanny valley exists is terrifying. Being scared by things that look almost human but aren't. Other animals do not have this. That means that at some point in our evolution, running away from things that looked almost human was advantageous enough to be imprinted on our genetics. | Meat. Pain. Hunt. Fear. Primal feelings lodged deep inside humanity, inside everyone's minds. Right at the back. Fear of the dark.
Fear of a stranger in the dark .
He looked up at the dull, white hospital ceiling and blinked. His face feels heavier today, can barely bring himself to smile or even open his eyes, but... | \[Use this guide to translate the caveman speech.\]([https://public.wsu.edu/\~delahoyd/cavespeak.html](https://public.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/cavespeak.html))
“Neecha, maka. Igac maka-daka neecha!”
The other four cavemen whooped and hollered at Igac’s boastful retelling of the saber-toothed cat he had killed earlier that d... | 2020-09-15T14:19:55 | 2020-09-15T12:33:35 | 30 | 21 |
[WP] "They said that gluing salt to a baseball bat to fight ghosts was a stupid idea, but who's laughing now?" you say as you whacked the ghost again. | As I made it to the driveway, Caroline appeared behind the screen door. "Salt? Why would the salt make a difference?" she asked. She knotted her hair into a bun on top of her head. "How is that any better than the bat by itself?" Her nose scrunched up like a rabbit's when she was confused.
"Puns." I shouted back, load... | The bat made a satisfying thunk as it struck home. The ghost fell over, I was surprised to see the apparition had legs, and what's more they were clad in blue jeans and combat boots. I struck a knee.
The ghost howled in pain, lifting a chubby hand to protect itself. "Stop!" It shouted. "What are you doing?"
I took in... | 2020-10-05T00:36:52 | 2020-10-04T22:33:38 | 91 | 62 |
[WP] Yesterday I wrote the number 69 on my wrist as a joke. Today it's 68, and now it's not washing off. | “Hello, Mister Mike’s Magic Markers, how can I help you?”
“Hi,” Kevin said. “I’m calling about your markers. I wrote a little something on my arm and it’s not washing off.”
“Of course, we can help with that,” the woman on the phone said in a cheery voice. “Let me just ask you a few questions. What exactly did you ... | I slept off the whole of the second day because of my bender on day one, and a third day of hair of the dog left me in no proper mood to panic, but today? Today is panic time, because I’m finally sober enough to realize that the number on my wrist isn’t some stupid tattoo the boys forced me to get after we stumbled out... | 2021-04-20T20:28:28 | 2021-04-20T19:43:52 | 253 | 76 |
[WP] As an atheist, you always believed that there was nothing after death. After your last breath, you discover that you were wrong, but that no one else was right about what's after either.
Mainly, there is something after death, but religions are wrong about it. | I had an excellent death. After that it was all downhill.
My death happened on one of those rare sunny January days on Vancouver Island when the omnipresent gray clouds part and the outdoors beckons. Jane and I had taken a leisurely drive from our “luxury senior living” (tiny) apartment in Nanaimo out to Lake Cowichan... | FADE IN:
EXT. A VERDANT GARDEN - DAY
*A man slowly fades into view amidst countless varieties of flowers and plants. This is DAVE. He glances around at his surroundings for a moment, appearing equal parts confused and suspicious.*
**DAVE:** Hello?
**ANGEL:** (*O.S.*) Greetings, David.
*Dave jumps slightly as ... | 2021-07-01T16:30:32 | 2021-07-01T13:42:41 | 99 | 42 |
[WP].You are sitting outside your house, enjoying the dying embers of the campfire when two glowing eyes open to stare at you. " Greetings, " it rasped, " may I share your fire tonight?" | I’ve always enjoyed this little cabin with it’s view of the mountains and view of Deep Lake. Far from civilization it gives me a sense of calm unlike anywhere else. Watching the moon rise over the mountains while I sit by the firepit out front has been one of my favorite pastimes for so many years now it’s hard to reme... | I don't say anything. Just nod and gesture to a place by the dying flames.
The thing drags itself out of the dark using two long pale arms, probably strong enough to rip me in two. It's draped with scrapes of burlap, denim, silk, binding a shell of garbage and waste. It slowly crawls towards the fire, the earth torn u... | 2022-01-06T02:41:12 | 2022-01-06T02:08:24 | 60 | 20 |
[WP] Vampire society have been loyal customers to a carpenter for years. He made the best coffins they have slept in for centuries, and never really got suspicious of so many wealthy people willing to pay premium for the same niche item. As he got old, the vampires tries to offer him immortality. | Derthezar, Lord of the Fifth Transylvanian Order, was besieged with crippling back pain for decades.
He tossed and turned through restless nights, cursing the shoddy craftsmanship of so many lazy mortals. Relief only came one summer evening in 1967, when Revelan the Impaler brought him a surprise birthday gift.
"My ... | *DING*
I look up from my catlogue as a customer enters my shop
In front of me stands a woman who has never failed to take my breath away, 40 years of business and she's still just as gorgeous as the first tiem she came through those doors, I guess the rich really do age differently than the rest of us
She's been a re... | 2022-05-31T11:00:02 | 2022-05-31T10:21:18 | 359 | 230 |
[WP] We “knew” humans were weak as they avoided every war with diplomacy. We never imagined they’d be this ruthless & how seemingly overnight they went from peaceful beings to a state they call “TOTAL WAR”. War is in their blood & soul. They thrive on it, mostly when the odds are against them | We knew humans were weak. We knew they were kind. We knew they avoided every conflict through negotiation and diplomacy. We knew humanity had not wage war in over a thousand years. We knew humanity was one of the oldest civilization's, and yet, had the weakest army.
We did not know their history. We did not know of t... | "To think those simians would have enough political leverage for such demands" - The capital ships of both warring species faced in sandspace, a particularly empty region of the galaxy where war ultimatums would go to be resolved. The lack of large masses and their gravity fields meant all wreckage of ancient and recen... | 2022-08-05T17:13:31 | 2022-08-05T16:23:55 | 28 | 14 |
[WP] “…and that class is why Humans are considered the most peaceful species in the universe.” The only three humans in class looked at each other horrified. All the facts about humans that the aliens had were wrong. One student slowly raises their hand. | "Yes? You at the back?"
"I'm afraid you're entirely wrong, sir."
"Student! Do you cast doubts upon the incredible research of the recent expedition to Earth?"
"Yes, sir, I do. See, I am human myself, and therefore I am in a position to know that much of what you have presented is factually incorrect."
"If you are g... | "Bullshit," I grunted.
"Language, Steven!", the teacher retorted.
"No, it's bullshit. For being the so-called 'Librarian' race, you got literally everything wrong. Humans were never peaceful. We've been trying to kill each other since the dawn of time."
"Are you seriously trying to contr-"
"YES, I am. Now shut up a... | 2022-10-17T04:40:25 | 2022-10-17T01:57:24 | 2,063 | 658 |
[WP] Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m, looks back over what she wrote ten years later
Here is the original copy pasta
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (i... | "Love and Waffles - A memoir".
I clicked print and waited as the mechanical shuffling ejected my life's work. A story that needed to be told.
It was quite random that I should end up here, writing this memoir. Of course, I had always considered my life to be fairly random. I lost all my money playing Roulette. This... | Katy's heart ached. Feelings of sadness and pain as she remembered her care free youth, full of unexpected and unpredictable wonder. All gone now. Only the pain remained. It was clear.
_____
"Single gun shot wound to the chest. Pistol lying on her stomach..."
^(*shutter click*)
"I've got a bag, pass it here."
^(*s... | 2014-11-19T09:23:35 | 2014-11-19T09:04:44 | 593 | 31 |
[WP] Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m, looks back over what she wrote ten years later
Here is the original copy pasta
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (i... | "Oh my god, noooooo," Katy said, burying her face in her hands. She was blushing, but smiling through her embarrasment.
"So you can see the kind of girl she was back then," Maurissa continued, gesturing at the screen behind her, over the laughter of the assembled families. "Don't worry, though... her spelling and ta... | Katy's heart ached. Feelings of sadness and pain as she remembered her care free youth, full of unexpected and unpredictable wonder. All gone now. Only the pain remained. It was clear.
_____
"Single gun shot wound to the chest. Pistol lying on her stomach..."
^(*shutter click*)
"I've got a bag, pass it here."
^(*s... | 2014-11-19T10:04:44 | 2014-11-19T09:04:44 | 69 | 31 |
[WP] You live in a world where every person receives a superpower on their 18th birthday. You eagerly count down the seconds then shriek in horror as you are given a power no one would ever want to be stuck with. | **10 seconds.**
My dad was able to fly.
**9 seconds.**
My mum had the ability to heal wounds.
**8 seconds.**
On your 18th birthday, you recieve a superpower, my birthdy is in
**7 seconds.**
It is something you just know. "Like a switch in your mind" my dad always says.
**6 seconds.**
My mum and dad look a... | Everybody knows how it happens. The day you turn 18 you go to "The Centre" and they give you an injection. This injection mutates the cells in your body and your mind, allowing for a further 30% control of an individuals brain. It causes the individual to attain what we call "superpowers". The only problem is not knowi... | 2015-03-28T05:36:19 | 2015-03-28T05:14:22 | 37 | 18 |
[WP] Write a story in which the last line is a common phrase, such as, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but when we get to that line, it should have a totally different meaning from the common one. | We all knew that it would happen one day. When I was a kid, there were movies about it. Some called it a singularity and they said that it was bound to happen if we kept on the path we were on.
It never mattered how much we were told that our technology was taking over our lives, we always craved more. It all started ... | I was sitting on the back porch, having a nice bourbon and coke. Enjoying the first days of summer. But my mind was still racing. That's why I was already drinking at 12:30pm. My brain wasn't used to the fact that I had retired yet. I am by nature, a workaholic.
And I start to think to myself, maybe I worked too har... | 2015-05-16T10:50:43 | 2015-05-16T09:44:44 | 18 | 12 |
[WP] A girl finally is able to buy the robotic boyfriend of her dreams. One day, she casually compares him to human boyfriends. Guided by his programming, he follows the conversation with very frightening but accurate comments about humanity in general. | She had done it. The trend was fast becoming the next logical step after getting your own place and getting your first "real" job. Robotic boyfriends. Alicia smiled to herself, looking across the table to Zack. He was an Eros. One of the first "next gen" models. Fully customizable, and her ideal companion. It was the b... | "Humans?
Fragile, aren't they."
The reply was icy to say the least, definitely a lot colder than Sandra was expecting, but then again she didn't know what she was expecting to begin with.
She had been with Tom for almost a month now, a month and a week if you include time since he was purchased. She spent a full week... | 2015-05-23T10:11:37 | 2015-05-23T09:40:59 | 1,259 | 276 |
[WP] James Bond (MI5) was suave, Jason Bourne (CIA) was professional, and Jack Bauer (FBI) was aggressive. Describe the 4th JB. | The cool James Bond never missed an opportunity with the ladies. The Sly Jason Bourne was efficient and calculated with his objectives. And the rough and tough Jack Bauer knew how to crack some heads when he needed to.
But Jack Black took to music instead of his guns, and sang sweet melodies to soothe even his greates... |
The suave James Bond foiled criminals and evildoers worldwide.
The professional Jason Bourne struggled as an amnesiac rogue.
The aggressive Jack Bauer prevented terrorists from destroying the world in short time frames.
The foremost and fourth JB hynoptizes teenage girls and gathers a large following who obsess o... | 2015-11-04T06:50:51 | 2015-11-04T06:43:23 | 19 | 13 |
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | It was the first day of school.
I was so excited.
New students every year.
I had such high hopes.
The kids would love me.
They would sit, be comfortable, and learn.
The first day came and went.
Class after class.
I was ignored.
No one wants the chair in front.
I wish I was a concert seat. | I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call.
I guess some p... | 2016-02-22T09:42:54 | 2016-02-22T09:31:34 | 578 | 15 |
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | Eye tip me tophat. I wok in 2 de ofis bilding.
Gud dae maet. Me maets n me eet crumpits n sip tee cos we gents.
Luk o de dae to ye maet. Gohd saev de Kween n all de jaz.
Now eye wok hoem. Luvlee niet n all. Gud niet.
Mae B reed gud niet buk? Noe, eye cant reed. | I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call.
I guess some p... | 2016-02-22T09:49:34 | 2016-02-22T09:31:34 | 541 | 15 |
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | "Sancho! Onward to the lair of the despicable dragon!"
"*Jefe, that's a windmill!*"
"Nonsense! We shall skewer it's heart and make La Mancha safe once more!"
**Sancho Panza**, always one for a humorous sight, let his sire **Don Quixote, Knight of the Woeful Countenance**, ride off to do battle with the town windmill... | I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call.
I guess some p... | 2016-02-22T10:00:16 | 2016-02-22T09:31:34 | 82 | 15 |
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | *Ends hibernation*
*walks into office*
Officer worker 1: HOLY SHIT ANOTHER BEAR!!!
Officer worker 2: Don't worry, I decided I needed to bring a gun to work. It's so weird that 89 other bears have just walked into our office.
**bang bang**
*feels pain, eyes get heavy*
Officer worker 2: WOO! I got number 90! | I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call.
I guess some p... | 2016-02-22T11:27:02 | 2016-02-22T09:31:34 | 68 | 15 |
[WP] People lose the ability to deny requests. They must either a) fulfill them or b) ask someone else to do it. There are volunteers who take bad requests in exchange for compensation or exemption from law. Write about the life of a volunteer. | This one came in from the top.
Level Presidential, and as soon as it came to me, I knew exactly that I was the only one that could do it any justice.
I have a very specific set of skills, skills that I have acquired over a *very long* career. No one I knew was capable of the acts I had committed, and being the botto... | It hadn’t always been this difficult. At first, when we still had our denial at least somewhat active, people knew on some level what could reasonably be asked for from someone. Many still have this understanding, but not because they have the ability to deny, but because they know the feeling of fear associated with b... | 2016-04-03T12:05:47 | 2016-04-03T11:52:19 | 51 | 12 |
[WP] White noise refers when an individual grows accustomed to a constant sound, subconsciously blocking it out. Suddenly, everyone on Earth realizes they were all hearing something, but only because it stopped. | No one heard the sound
until it softly faded.
Humanity, spellbound,
it held its breath and waited.
-----
No one recalled the mumble,
though the silence felt so loud.
None had ever felt the rumble
that coursed gently through the ground.
-----
The Earth that day seemed eerie.
Like a corpse, she grew too still... | It began with a general unease that settled over the world. A quicker walk, a look over the shoulder, a perpetual frown at the corner of the mouth; it manifested and reflected between people, multiplying almost to the point of paranoia.
Then the animals stopped. It was the only proper way to describe the phenomenon t... | 2016-04-18T20:39:35 | 2016-04-18T14:24:04 | 164 | 23 |
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