prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 226 10k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.43k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.26k |
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[WP] your crazy, possessive ex girlfriend was abducted by aliens. She has clawed her way up to the position of the Empress of the Galaxy. Now she wants you back.
You can either go with tyrannical and hated ruler or with enlightened, popular, (but still possessive and crazy) absolutist. Or something in between.
I am m... | "Yeeeaaahhh.....this is really nice... How the hell did you get a spaceship again?"
"Oh, turns out that for all their advanced tech, aliens are really wimpy, and all it takes is a good fist to the face to establish dominance. So I punched the captain in the face and took his ship. the rest of the crew followed me."
... | I looked up from my phone and slid the ring off my finger, examining it. It was simple but valuable, full of meaning - a soft band of pure gold that hugged my finger and reminded me what it was to love.
Martha.
It was she who had taught me how beautiful life was, no matter how short, and even with her gone I could ne... | 2014-12-29T11:25:43 | 2014-12-29T10:30:03 | 14 | 10 |
[WP] "And now, I require a test of bravery." You sneer, "Oh, and what shall it be? Slay a dragon? Or something equally stupid?" The Fae smiles knowingly, "When was the last time you visited home?" Your face pales... | "My home...?"
In an instant, all the cynicism, all the faint disgust and barely-bottled frustrations held and leaked through barbed words for the past year had... vanished. It was as if it wasn't blood that flowed through his veins, but contempt.
"What are you asking?" he said.
"When was the last time you visited ho... | I breathed in: "No"
The Fae, slightly, surprised: "What no? You can´t say no to that we have a contract."
"I will not visit my birthers EVER. Period. Give me a other test of bravery." My eyes lasering deep into the Fae.
"But why? Just go to them and have a day with them, you haven´t visited them for a long time. ALs... | 2021-09-26T13:59:00 | 2021-09-26T13:48:55 | 257 | 22 |
[WP] You just gave birth, your son has a colored hair like none before, the doctor declares that your son has been infected with a syndrome called the "Protagonist". Your lifespan has now been reduced to mere days. | “Is everything OK with my child?”
“Your child will be fine, pretty much by definition. Oh, he’ll have tremendous struggles and go through more life threatening situations than a group of Trump supporters drinking Clorox, but his particular condition will ensure he makes it through. Unfortunately, his condition also en... | *"When my son was born, I was the happiest father in the world. Someone who could be the best parts of me and my wonderful wife. But, something didn't feel right when they brought him back from his crib. I didn't think much of it when I saw his hair, neither did my sweet Angela. But then, the doctor came. She told us i... | 2020-04-28T06:45:50 | 2020-04-28T06:12:15 | 70 | 41 |
[WP] Humans are the only species in the universe with pets. As humanity enters the ranks of the Galactic Empire humanity soon is known as "The Beastmasters", taming even the worst nightmares of alien bedtime stories. | "Its WRONG! What those humans do! WRONG! And now they're even using it to control the galactic Senate!"
"Look you know the rules. Once a species has been inducted into the council it retains a vote, no matter what, until extinction."
"Extinction! Pah! That would be better than what the humans do to their defeated e... | ######[](#dropcap)
It's spawn are rampant all across the planet, split into multiple variants for each biome and condition.
They range from being as small enough to carry to the size of a medium humanoid, capable of downing the mightiest of us.
Even the bravest among us wouldn't dare to challenge them, but even the... | 2020-01-04T18:03:50 | 2020-01-04T17:19:47 | 143 | 46 |
[WP] Grandpa has talked gibberish since an accident in '79. One day, while converting grandma's VHS tapes to digital, you find yourself rewinding some footage. Grandpa comes into frame. You realize you can understand what he's saying and the words terrify you. | We don’t know what happened. I wasn’t even alive yet. But back in ‘79 something happened to grandpa that caused him to lose his speech. Sometimes he still says a few words, but they’re always incomprehensible, just gibberish. He always seems sad, scared when he looks off blankly. I wish we knew. But the story goes that... | Grandpa changed on that day. We were never able to really know whether it really was an accident or if he rubbed somebody the wrong way. Back then people said he took his faith seriously. Today we’d say he was a religious nut. But after that day he couldn’t take care of himself anymore so my parents took him in. He was... | 2019-10-21T12:49:38 | 2019-10-21T12:03:35 | 89 | 63 |
[WP] Theorising that so-called "life-force" or "souls" is actually just the electricity coursing through the nerves of living things, you try to sacrifice a battery to a demon. | the Flames came from the ground in a great thunderous sound, the room lit red by the light, shadows dancing across the back wall of the room, the fire slowly began to fade, only to reveal the beast!
John looked puzzled, as he looked down at a 4 foot tall demon, it looked to be a short middle aged man, but it had red sk... | Obviously I've made mistakes in long life, I'll grant you that. But for the life of me, I never imagined that these humans are this fucking stupid!
There I stood, middle of a damn summoning circle, some goofy haired human stood there with a single D battery in his outstretched hand.
This little bitch of a goatsee ba... | 2017-07-01T21:37:47 | 2017-07-01T20:06:58 | 37 | 24 |
[WP] A supervillain kidnaps a civilian and keeps them hostage, taunting on live television for the superhero to come find them. Unbeknownst to the villain, the kidnapped civilian is the superhero.
Did I butcher the title or what?
This is blowing up! All the responses have been diverse and really cool!
| Grax shouted into the camera for the hundredth time, spittle spraying in an arc in front of him. I wondered, not the first time, if any was getting on the lens. If the camera feed went down or was at least blurred enough, I could possibly make some sort of escape without blowing my cover.
“This man will die if you are... | My toes were curled so tightly I swore they were waiting to break through my shoes. The self control I had to use in order to sit still and let this man believe I was just another hostage felt impossible, even for me. He paced back and forth from either side of me, standing just behind the wooden chair I was strapped u... | 2017-01-28T07:43:43 | 2017-01-28T07:42:49 | 1,851 | 243 |
[WP] "One cannot own these lands," the native explained patiently to the eager colonist,"No, really, you can't. We tried." | The fear in his eyes burrowed into me like the shriek of a raven on a cold night.
Turn back, he said, through the voice of our interpreter.
We could not.
Too much had depended on this venture.
We made camp as the air grew dark and the rustling of the trees only caressed our fears, fueled them like the fire that bur... | "Fortune to you, *ch'rok-ch'oatl*." The creature's head - I assumed it was his head, anyway - had three black orbs, about the size of golf balls, distributed in a graceful arc across what on a human would be a forehead. I made a mental note that it was slightly concave - bowing inward, instead of outward. "It is though... | 2017-12-29T13:49:00 | 2017-12-29T13:18:06 | 71 | 14 |
[WP] You're given a chance to see how many times you've been near death. The highest number of times anyone you know of has almost died, was 15, and they have a dangerous job. You just found out that your life has been close to ending 278 times. | I woke up and hazily looked around at a few somber faces. To my horror, I felt the needle in my arm--the IV.
*\*Fuck, oh fuck oh fuck.\** The thought of what might be in the solution being directly pumped into my veins...
My mom looked up. "You're awake," she said softly. The rest of the heads turned to look at me. T... | **Last Diary Entry found on Hanna's computer, <11 hours> before forensic declared time of death:**
>Diary Entry No. 2936. 07/26/2018.
>
>I found a website that can predict the number of times I've had a near death experience. I'm all too familiar with stuff like this, but decided to give it a try, j... | 2018-07-27T14:45:48 | 2018-07-27T13:43:05 | 100 | 23 |
[WP] A peaceful alien race is besieged by another race in the same galaxy. As their last planets fall and their home-world comes under threat they do the unthinkable. They ask for aid from the only known creatures more brutal than their foes in exchange for FTL technology. Humans accept the deal. | A eon we watched them. We watched them kill each other with amazement. Their violence horrified us, but we saw glimpses of peace amid the blackness of horror. Deep inside, their intentions were good, every single one of them acted on the idea that what they were doing was improving the situation of another. We watched ... | Ugly creatures. Sickly pale and pug-faced, they were covered in patches of fur and highly prone to violence. Their skin clung to their skeletons like rubber, vacuum sealed and taut.
But for their brutish appeal, they would be dismissed as one of the class IV races: confined to their planet because of infighting and ... | 2014-12-26T10:31:12 | 2014-12-26T10:24:51 | 507 | 180 |
[WP] An alien nation descends upon earth. Their assault is... incredibly underwhelming.
Take "incredibly underwhelming" however you want.
Examples: They do nothing but inconvience you. They're so weak they get bullied by grade schoolers. Their laser technology doesn't even burn a hole in your woolen sweater as even... | "Sir, their technology... It's, well, quite frankly, it's terrifying."
"Explain yourself."
"All of their technology," he stammered. "It's powered by explosions."
"Explosions? All of it?"
"Yes sir. Their vehicles, their warships, even their weapons are all powered by explosions."
"How did they ever achieve space tr... | Not with a bang, but with a whimper
It has been thirteen years since the aliens invaded. Well I say invaded, they just parked a space ship in the ocean and sank a few ship. And they're not actually aliens they're just humans who somehow ended up in a distant galaxy a long time ago. They're kinda dickish about the whol... | 2016-02-22T13:30:29 | 2016-02-22T08:33:57 | 79 | 10 |
[WP] "humans don't appear to be to advanced, they haven't even discovered intergalactic travel, should be a simple invasion." Said the alien cleaning his musket.
Edit: Seems someone has already written a piece perfect for this. Check it out, would highly recommend.
https://eyeofmidas.com/scifi/Turtledove_RoadNotTaken... | Captain's Log Number 62. 0600, Day 25 after commencement of Operation Swordfall.
This is a message from Knight Captain Zerraxi Rascirson of the recon relay ship "HMS Percifus" to all ships of the Empire. Anyone who picks up this message is to forward it immediately to the Ozirian Imperial high command and his Majesty.... | "Hello there. You are a human...or Xogloytian, I assume. As you all know, We Xogloytians have been your friends for a few years. I, X-42, a former military squad leader, Has been authorized to give a personal narration of my own of the war here on this system The Internet"
---------------------------------------------... | 2017-08-08T06:41:23 | 2017-08-08T05:31:18 | 889 | 69 |
[WP] It seemed like a perfect magical deal. When any child descended from you is born you grow younger by a single year. So you agree, planning on a big family and living to a ripe old age. Years later however you find yourself rapidly growing younger and regret not understanding exponential growth. | It took me until I was forty to fall in love. It took me until I was forty and a half to get married. I discovered three things in those six months:
1. My cynicism towards love withered and died in the face of an open heart and a gentle smile.
2. There actually were people out there as smart and as driven to succeed a... | # Bargain Bin Superheroes
(Arc ?, Interlude ?: Archcommander Varney)
(Note: Bargain Bin Superheroes is episodic; each part is self-contained. This story can be enjoyed without reading the previous sections.)
**The National High Energy and Temperature Lab was abuzz.** Professor Hale bustled into the main containment... | 2021-04-15T10:53:31 | 2021-04-15T10:44:40 | 166 | 104 |
[WP] We “knew” humans were weak as they avoided every war with diplomacy. We never imagined they’d be this ruthless & how seemingly overnight they went from peaceful beings to a state they call “TOTAL WAR”. War is in their blood & soul. They thrive on it, mostly when the odds are against them | "We have no claimed that we were peaceful." Tobias said, a firm hand grasping the flag of the final human lands, the other curling tight around the hilt of his gun.
It had been a long battle. A fight that took the lives of many brothers, fathers, and uncles.
"I warned you. I told you that this war was pointless, that... | "We all know they're weaklings, Commander Smith," The soldier said, saluting Commander Smith, "I mean, come on, they don't know how to fire gamma-rays. In fact, they haven't built any spaceships yet."
"That's enough, Soldier 92-BII," said Commander Smith, "We're headed to their planet. The news spread that it colonize... | 2022-08-05T13:34:16 | 2022-08-05T10:57:14 | 213 | 107 |
[WP] You are the tenth generation honor guard for the immortals. As far back as pack memory goes, the immortals have provided food, shelter, and scritches. You fully expected the immortals to outlive you, as they did your mother and her mother before her. But something's wrong. The Alpha...is dying. | At first we couldn't quite work out what it was. There was a scent change. And my pack mate Milo, who is older and wiser, and has met many more Immortals, remembered a much older member of our Alpha's pack, who had a similar scent, and who the others gathered with to be sad, and then disappeared, never seen again.
And... | It was the Reg-scientists who first noticed something was off, even before we got a glimpse of disaster. A couple of years ago, the regulars started truly listening to their researchers when Terra grew too hot, but now they got scared of something else. The tides and the movement of the seas was changing. Something the... | 2022-11-15T16:26:19 | 2022-11-15T11:43:57 | 61 | 23 |
[WP] You are trying to politely ward off a very anxious Jehovah's Witness that keeps insisting that God is coming. He/she finally looks down the street, and says, "seriously He just turned the corner!" You look and see a glowing white Cadillac with dark tinted windows.
Wow, can't believe this got that many upvotes. I ... | The Jehovah's Witness had a single huge boil in the middle of his forehead like a busted third eye. His voice was nasal and turned up at the end of his sentences, soliciting validation.
"The thing about God? Is that he can arrive at any time?"
I wanted to slam the door in his face but the boil had my full and undiv... | It was 10 pm. I've never seen any Jehovah's witness at this time of the day and thought that this guy had dedication. I was a little bit drunk and didn't want someone bothering me especially a guy asking to believe in God. So I waited the light to turn red to cross the street. 2 minutes. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. As I wai... | 2016-10-04T06:48:50 | 2016-10-04T05:56:58 | 90 | 50 |
[WP] In a world of incredible heroes and villains, you have the most dangerous power of all: forcing actual, real world logic and physics to take place
2/19/19: Woah! I look away for a few minutes and suddenly 1000 likes! Thanks you guys!
2/19/19: Holy God! 6.5k likes?! Awesome! | It began with a loud screech from outside the coffee shop. A contagious one too, for it soon grew into a sea of wails. Then something actually intelligible breached the surface. "Oh dear Lord have mercy, it's Teleportino!!"
I could barely supress a groan. Tightening my hold on my coffee cup, I chanced a look outside.... | I lowered my signature tin helmet onto my head, and opened my apartment window. It was time. Staggering out through the window and onto the fire escape, I tightened my leather boots and ran up, following the sound of flowing water.
I reach the top, catching my breath. In front of me lay a woman, around twenty, laying... | 2019-02-19T11:13:37 | 2019-02-19T09:50:41 | 587 | 319 |
[WP] You're happily going about your day when you vanish in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly, you're standing in a ring of candles. A sorcerer holding a tome looks pleased at your arrival. Turns out Earth is Hell, we're the demons, and you've just been summoned. | I just got laid off. My last paycheck is arriving next Friday. I have $10.56 in my bank account. I know it's stupid, but I bought a pack of cigarettes on the way home. I need something to take my mind off of it. I lit a cigarette, took one puff, and everything went dark.
At first I thought I had fainted. Do cigarette... | It felt like I had tripped up some stairs. For a second I thought I had, and immediately froze. The plate in my hand still held the Reuben, but the surface beneath.....
My head snapped up, and I noticed the darkness first. Second were the candles, placed carefully around me in hexagons expanding away from me. Low-leve... | 2017-05-12T10:46:53 | 2017-05-12T08:05:41 | 29 | 10 |
[WP] You, a religious person, saved a girl from getting hit by a truck. One day you get killed and instead of Heaven, you wake up in Hell. Satan walks up delighted and says "Welcome to hell and thank you so much for saving my daughter!, Let me know if you need anything!"
Edit: Wow! So many comments! Tonight after work... | The being's eyes were pitiless as Samuel broke down, staring wildly at the hellscape surrounding him. It wasn't quite as he had imagined, no flames, no pitchforks waiting. Just an endless stretch of cracked, dead earth, with no trees in sight, no burbling streams of water, no other people...and yet, and yet, it was the... | The strange circumstances surrounding the night that I saved that snobby blonde girl have always perplexed me. It was 1998, the summer before I started college. Rain gushed from the sky as though something had angered God Himself, and I leaned against the grimy brick wall beneath the awning of the pub where I waited ta... | 2017-07-17T23:50:54 | 2017-07-17T23:47:32 | 395 | 60 |
[WP] All superpowers have a ‘hangover’ effect. For example, after using super strength for the day, the morning after you can’t even lift your spoon to eat your breakfast. You wake up one morning after using your own specific superpower and you feel pretty hungover...
[deleted] | “Totally worth it”
I thought to myself. It must have been past 2 in the afternoon but I refused to get up. There was a constant pounding in my head and a slight drip of blood running from my left ear. I could hear my roommates talking angrily in the next room and I knew what was waiting for me in the living room. We g... | It's been 5 years since the first quackman appeared, a being with superpowers that have a 'hangover' effect. The man was bulletproof one day and the next a paper cut during the press interview caused him to faint due to excessive blood loss.
Now there are beings with all kinds of powers coming up, all quackmen with a d... | 2018-08-19T05:58:22 | 2018-08-19T04:31:42 | 401 | 15 |
[WP] The only, and deranged, live man on the planet doesn't know that he lives among mannequins. Start with the line, "They don't usually answer back to what I say." | They don't usually answer back to what i say. Perhaps because the days have not been kind to them. Their skin seems firmer, their faces have become expressionless... But i know they still love me. They have to, for i am their Shepard, and they are my sheep. And so i tend to my flock.
There is little left to do in this... | They usually don't answer back... But sometimes they do.
It was like when I had received the silent treatment as a kid, my parents had ignored me for years on end; Only now the whole world was in on it.
I hadn't gotten somebody to speak with me in over four weeks, I was starting to lose my mind. "HELLO!" I said loud... | 2014-08-12T18:49:15 | 2014-08-12T17:23:21 | 23 | 10 |
[WP] The zombie apocalypse has come. But so has the robot apocalypse, and the Illuminati takeover, and the alien invaders... It seems everyone played their hand at the same time. | "Why are we holding off on the invasion, Prime Minister?" his aide inquired, turning to face the dark locked man sitting regally in his chair set at the head of the long table. His fingers were steepled together before him, casting shadows against his handsome visage.
"Because we have the advantage by not *pressing* o... | It was when our state-of-the-art anomaly detection software kept saying everything was fine I got concerned. It seemed too good to be true. My coworkers celebrated by taking out sick leave for the first time in years. Then they just stayed home. I was left alone. When I received a phone call from the president of the c... | 2017-12-28T17:11:19 | 2017-12-28T16:43:30 | 42 | 19 |
[WP] Many years ago, an alien invasion nearly wiped out Humanity. Now, the galactic government is desperately trying to reason with a vengeful Humanity by saying that it was a rogue mining company that attacked without their approval or knowledge. | "It's a virus"
"What do you mean"
"It's a computer virus, it is a small computer program that enters a system and destroys it from the inside".
"That's ridiculous, the hegemony has had computers for 3,400 years and no species has ever created software designed to destroy them. It is suicide. Computers run outside ... | At the Peace Talks between Humanity and the Galactic Government, the President of Humanity called their ridiculous lie by showing them irrefutable video evidence of the attack. Battleships with the galactic insignia demolished cityscapes, leaving a hellfire that made the US invasion of Vietnam look like a picnic. Human... | 2022-12-17T21:51:38 | 2022-12-17T19:35:09 | 150 | 55 |
[wp] Make a character with as much sympathy as possible. Now, in a realistic and non-over the top manner, make me lose all sympathy for them. | My hands shake as the brush strikes the paper. A thin layer of red fills the petals of my rose. Too dark. I must’ve pressed too hard. I take a small breath to calm my nerves. It wasn’t that my hands shake every time I paint, it’s just that in ten minutes’ time, I would finally be able to give my country, my people, my ... | Albert rolled off his mattress with a thud. Draped in yesterdays clothes, he hadn't the energy to change last night. He had been crying again. Albert tried to right himself, but his palm slipped on another rejection letter. Briefly resigned to his new kingdom, Albert looked around the room from the perspective of his m... | 2017-04-24T10:52:35 | 2017-04-24T07:59:01 | 239 | 85 |
[WP] Your friends are always in awe over how you manage to get both in to and then out off so many weird accidents all the time. But then they don't know you are the unlikely child of a one night stand between Lady Luck and the God of misfortune. | “So he’s stood up on the side of the road in the dead of night, right? But, the guy just so happens to be standing off the curb, in the bike lane.”
“...Okay… But it’s midnight? Who the hell would be out on a ride then?”
“That’s what I’m saying! But lo and behold, a bicyclist comes out of the dark and just... | If you’re familiar with the term fairy tale and expect some happy ending then you’re in for a misadventure. If I were to tell this tale from the perspective of all of the afters, all of those times when I made it out okay, then it wouldn’t seem so bad. I always wind up in good spirits at the end of the day. But this st... | 2022-08-06T19:08:23 | 2022-08-06T15:39:23 | 77 | 10 |
[WP] A boy asks a girl out. It's high school. It's awkward. Narrate it from the point of view of a nature documentary. | *Sweeping panoramic shot of a grungy inner city school. Majestic music plays in background.*
NARRATOR: Unlike the dominant species of the desert planet of Grizek, the inhabitants of this little world have tentative, almost ambivalent, courtship rituals.
*Cut to empty corridor. Bell rings, and a bipedal humanoid speci... | And here we see the first of several stages of mating rituals in the humans.
The first is often the most unsuccesful in creating long term relations, yet mostly serves as practice for future, more significant rituals. Perhaps ironically, this first mating ritual is more complicated than any of the others, often occur... | 2017-04-04T07:03:30 | 2017-04-04T06:32:12 | 26 | 15 |
[WP] "Hello, my name is Sophia, what's yours?" You turn around and see a 10-year-old girl, and return the greeting. Her parents look at you strangely and demand, "how do you know her name?" "Um, she just introduced herself." "Very funny buddy, she hasn't been able to speak since she was a baby." | "Hello, my name is Sophia. What's yours?"
I looked around and saw her there, smiling up at me, hands folded primly in front of her. She stood between a man and a woman -- her parents, presumably, though she didn't much resemble the couple flanking her, who appeared to be in late middle age. Grandparents, maybe?
I sm... | “Tell my parents that I signed the name to you, that should cool them off.” Her eyes glittered with an ethereal glow. There was no way that I was actually seeing that or hearing her.
My heart started to race, this was it, I’m going insane. I felt the world fade away, I was dissociating, I need to ground myself. “Wait... | 2022-07-11T00:02:35 | 2022-07-10T23:29:25 | 571 | 72 |
[WP] As a vampire, I follow traditions. My fiancé is human and just found out that human brides/grooms are to be bit to become a vampire themselves. She absolutely refuses to let that happen, and says the wedding is off unless I refuse to bite her. I feel like she's disrespecting tradition. AITA? | NTA
Honestly, your fiancé sounds like a piece of work. I am not a vampire but I did grow up in a Japanese household and my parents made sure that I was raised with Japanese culture and customs in mind. They ingrained in me the importance of my heritage and that it important for the world to accept not only our culture... | INFO:
Firstly, how long did the two of you date prior to your engagement, and how much discussion did the two of you have regarding your eventual \[undead\] lives? Most relationship issues can be solved with clear and honest communication; whether to keep finances separate or combine them, whether or not to have/creat... | 2022-11-28T19:14:11 | 2022-11-28T18:42:15 | 35 | 21 |
[WP] You have been cursed to always tell the truth. Not because you're unable to say something you know is false, but because once you say it, the universe will rearrange itself to make what you said true. | There was a woman crying in the park on my walk home. I asked her what was wrong. She said her husband had died the day before, dropped dead of a heart attack, right in this very park.
"How do I go in living?" she asked me. "Everyone tells me I'll move on, but I'd rather die than forget him."
"You won't forget him,... | How does truth run from falsehood when the universe bends and twists with words?
This was a curious existence. Words had seemingly prophetic effect.
I’d witnessed an offhand comment echo into a real life event before, how could I test if my words actually were?
—-
An interesting dichotomy. How does one determin... | 2019-05-29T02:52:03 | 2019-05-28T20:25:48 | 46 | 15 |
[WP] "Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped." "Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it." "No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars." | Captain’s Log: 2437.04.08
The human, the one that calls itself ‘Cassandra’ (I hope I’m spelling that right), never ceases to amaze me. Ever since we picked it up from that freighter, I feel like we’re learning something new about it.
Just today, one of our crew dropped the ball and forgot to inform it that we’d be w... | The automatic door to Human Liaison Redorix’s room hissed open to allow the ship’s captain in, needing to duck to allow his large triangular head inside. There he saw the only human crew member he’d had, frantically searching it’s room for something before seemingly realizing that the captain had appeared.
“Ah! Sir!”... | 2020-07-14T03:55:51 | 2020-07-14T03:46:17 | 61 | 27 |
[WP] You make arrangements to cryogenically freeze your brain at the age of 31 in hopes of being revived in the future. Many years later, you "wake up." | "It works, I suppose." I said, hopping down from the table.
The more things changed, the more they stay the same. Even the prosthetic, advanced as it was...well the situation was far from perfect. My new clunky arms clubbed my hips, both were wider than I remembered.
"Now you'll be confined to the hospital" The nurs... | A bright, jarring beam of light was shining in his face. Max woke up, startled. He heard screeching sound, and then a loud thud. As his eyes adjusted to light, he saw that the glass wall in front of his face was broken. He pushed it aside and stifled a scream.
He was in a half-destroyed dusty room. He remembered it be... | 2015-09-13T23:00:19 | 2015-09-13T21:42:12 | 58 | 15 |
[WP] “Your supply routes are blockaded, your transports are destroyed. You will surrender, human, or you will starve.” “Bold words from someone who tastes good with ketchup.” | "Ketchup?" the bug eyed creature began as it gestured quizically with its spindly legs to the guards flanked on either side of it.
"Yeh that's right, ketchup, or rather a nice cocktail sauce. Which is basically ketchup. Do you realize we boil you, fry you, sauté you, de-vein your poop chutes and then slap you on the ... | the leader of the potato revolution stood over my body chained to the wall.
"I will never let you win you monster" I shouted back in powerful yet shaky voice. "you're just a vegetable; meant to be eaten."
The leader was shocked by this, and slapped me across the face with his dirty Rooty hand. The roots were as shar... | 2021-03-25T14:11:14 | 2021-03-25T10:42:45 | 170 | 80 |
[WP] You wake up in King Arthur's court with only the clothes on your back. Merlin hands you a box about the size of a pumpkin and tells you it will wish into existence any object from your age, once per day. Camelot will be attacked and destroyed one week from now. Help us, future-man. | Sam reached the top of the bastion on the south eastern corner of Camelot gazing out at the sea of men gathered before the walls. Nimueh the evil warlock had gathered more than just men against King Arthur and Merlin. Three enormous dragons tethered by chains waited by the side of the would be conqueror.
"No future m.... | Jace looked at the man with a top hat and a swirly white beard. “Anything at all?”
“Anything at all,” the old geezer confirmed. “Just think about it hard, and then open the box!”
The lanky teenager closed his eyes, his forehead creasing. Then he pulled out a futuristic-looking device that resembled a bulky pair of go... | 2016-11-28T00:01:58 | 2016-11-27T22:48:57 | 2,966 | 85 |
[WP] You survive the zombie apocalypse and realize that they're incredibly useful. For example, you can generate free electricity forever by putting the zombies in giant hamster wheels. You become determined to create a zombie-powered utopia. | Two winters had passed since I found the village. I had arrived riding a cart with my belongings, pulled by four dead ones who were following a lure of spoiling meat hung by a string from an extended pole. My own scent was masked by covering my skin in a layer of mud, making the dead ones walk in the direction of the l... | The deputy mayor was starting to smell and Una wasn't quite sure how much longer she could stand it. She'd first noticed a sourness in the air about a week ago, and it had only gotten worse since. That a zombie could ever be in politics was itself ridiculous, but that the zombie would be her superior was almost hurtful... | 2015-01-03T08:50:36 | 2015-01-03T06:39:21 | 29 | 11 |
[WP] “Beware of an old man in a profession where men usually die young.” | ######[](#dropcap)
"How many have you killed?"
Hilary Flint paused with whetstone in hand, the other holding his cavalry saber steady. There was a look of wary bemusement in his grin as he replied.
"And what do you mean by that?" said Flint.
Faealina shrugged, idly tracing a finger around the rim of her teacup. "Yo... | He did not expect to see an aged and frail man in front of him. No, he expected a muscular and “macho” man, with tattoos, a grimace, and a pistol or two in his holsters. Not a grandpa with a cane, blind in one eye. I saw the laughter and confusion on his face, it happens every time.
“This is the assassin sent by Vinto... | 2018-07-15T07:55:13 | 2018-07-15T07:18:01 | 4,165 | 335 |
[WP] Your bedroom became detached from reality and nothing is outside your door, but whenever you load a video game that world appears. Your game library is not conducive to a long and happy life, but the mini fridge is empty so you have no choice. You load up the safest game and gather supplies. | *Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead*
Absolutely not. There is going to be food in there, but there are also zombies, giant mutant insects, and Things from Outside Reality - that last category could probably follow my room even after I turn the game off. Just, no.
*Ancient Domains of Mystery*
Food, again, exists. But there a... | "Damn... If I go into Minecraft, I may be taking by a zombie. Pokemon won't work, nor Gacha Club. I'm sure as hell I'm not going into Cube Escape. Flappy Dragon won't do me much... That just leaves me with Obey Me.. Not the best option, but between zombies, creepers, and gaint ass spiders, I'm willing to take the risk ... | 2022-06-08T00:29:29 | 2022-06-07T19:11:01 | 21 | 13 |
[WP] When you die the afterlife is an arena where you face every insect and animal you killed in your life. If you win you go to heaven, lose you go to hell. Your job was an exterminator on earth. | *Pitter, patter.*
I open my eyes. The sky is stone.
*Skitter, scatter.*
I sit myself up. But no broken bones.
*Slither, slather.*
The screech of tyres, I'll never go home.
*Bizzer, bazzer.*
I get the feeling I am not alone.
*Grrrr! Graarr!*
I know these sounds, a too familiar drone.
*Whish, whoosh.*
And by t... | I store up at the giant wave of fur and chitin, wondering if hell was /really/ that bad. I mean, it can't be worse than fighting a literal metric ton of angry spiders without a weapon...Then I realized I was still wearing the item I died in. My hand reached down to my utility belt. And at that moment, I thanked God I h... | 2017-04-23T20:32:26 | 2017-04-23T17:19:20 | 134 | 81 |
[WP] Eldritch gods exist, because they're us. To many other species, we are massive, ancient beings with unfathomable knowledge of the universe and a tendency to wipe them out in a passing thought. And like any true Eldritch god, there are little cults who worship us. | It was a discovery of untold significance. I watched them under the microscope, skittering around. An entire civilization with countless little souls living their lives in space that amounted to the size of a nickel. I could only imagine what I must have looked to them - the few that even noticed, that is. I suppose it... | “What do you know about the Great James?”
Xyxy stared suspiciously at the furtive noise that came from her friend, Pake. Though she wasn’t sure if they should be friends for much longer.
“Pake, please,” Xyxy said. “I’m trying to eat. I really don’t have time for this.”
“But Great James—”
“Stop using his name!” Xyxy... | 2022-05-13T10:23:31 | 2022-05-13T08:47:56 | 197 | 119 |
[WP] Your supervillain nemesis is little more than goofy comedy relief, always coming up with clunky machines and insane, nonsensical schemes. When a new dangerous villain appeared, your nemesis utterly destroyed them, and then continued on like nothing happened. | "We need you to come to the bank." Said a frantic voice on the phone.
I closed my mouth and opened a few times. "Who is this? And why do I need to go to the bank?"
"I'm officer Mansfield. I was told this is a superhero's number." There was something odd in his voice. "Greg is at it again!" That explained it.
... | "We can make this work I know it" The Narrator muttered.
The world watched in horror as the once fastest being alive, The Streak, had her skin split open, muscles stripped from bone, and forgotten as her skeleton escaped it's confinement. A single hand reaching forward in futility hoping to apply the pressure of pure ... | 2022-10-13T19:03:12 | 2022-10-13T18:57:19 | 219 | 72 |
[WP] A dyslexic child accidentally sends his Christmas letter to Satan. Satan is touched by this gesture and decides to write back. | Dear Tommy,
&#x200B;
I appreciated your letter very much and I am touched that you offered chocolate chip cookies, although I do prefer oatmeal raisin. Unfortunately I will not be able to give you a ride in my sleigh as I prefer to travel by winged abomination, which is not very good with children. As for your w... | Dear Timmy,
Of course you can have a puppy! I have a little girl right here with me who will love you and be your friend. But puppies don't travel well by mail so I'll have to deliver her in person. Instead of leaving out cookies for me, please just light a candle at midnight and call my name!
Season's Greetings,
Lu... | 2018-10-28T10:09:15 | 2018-10-28T09:59:31 | 164 | 123 |
[WP] You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping. | The clapping rang out around the rocky red walls as the Devil sat on his throne looking down at Clyde.
"Congratulations, Clyde, and welcome to hell."
Clyde took a moment to look around, doing his best to take in the strange surroundings. Peering up at the Devil, he nodded his head.
"Hello," said Clyde.
The Devil he... | The great demon rises from his golden throne and begins to clap; his leather-like hands produce a sound like mocking thunder. The cavern shakes as the noise echoes off the walls. His blood-red lips curl into a terrible smile.
"Is this... *Hell?*" I ask, hoping for something, but knowing another.
He stops clapping, al... | 2017-06-22T03:45:33 | 2017-06-22T03:25:07 | 4,609 | 84 |
[WP] Everyday you wake up, you are in a different person's body. You do your best to positively influence their life for one day as tomorrow they will be themselves again and you will be somebody else. | "Eff it. I'm taking today off," Julia said as they looked at their body in the mirror.
They had made it their mission to improve the life of whichever person they woke up in every day. If the person was lazy they exercised, if they had a hard family life Julia resolved things, if they had been avoiding asking out thei... | Why do I bear this Curse?
I do not even remember who I originally was. If I even had parents or If I was Even human if I even had parents. If I even had a family.
I am eternally stuck in a eternal circle of life never gaining rest.
It has been years, decades I have been Stuck in this loop. Why? What had I done that ... | 2021-10-19T10:01:06 | 2021-10-19T09:51:59 | 102 | 38 |
[WP] Agents Scully and Mulder encounter Sam and Dean Winchester during an investion/hunt
Edit: *investigation | Mulder flashed his badge to the local sheriff. “Fox Mulder, FBI special agent. This is my partner Dana Scully.” He nodded to Scully.
The sheriff raised an eyebrow and took a closer look at this badge, as if expecting to find some defect that might prove it a fake.
“Just what we need, more feds.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Tw... | Mulder lied on his chair, his eyes glued to the screen while his mind roamed freely. Work from the bureau has been scarce to say the least. Despite his reputation, the department still used get one case per week, but now… There were talks in the bureau about disbanding the X files, of how it was not effective anymore, ... | 2018-01-04T23:07:19 | 2018-01-04T23:05:53 | 104 | 29 |
[WP] Everyone on earth is immune to one specific type of damage (fire, car crash, kicks, falling off buildings, etc.). The problem is, you have to find out your immunity on your own. You have just discovered yours. | "Dude, you probably just inhaled wrong. Take another hit."
Travis passed the rolled paper back to me. I sucked it in hard, felt it fill my lungs. I waited, meanwhile watching Travis and Aaron succumb to the weed's effects.
Ten feet from us on the television, Towelie taunted me, "You wanna get high?" Dammit, Towelie, ... | There was a simple bacterial infection going around. I went to the doctor to get a vaccination for it, but something wasn't working right.
&nbsp;
The doctors and nurses were dumbfounded until one of them realized what was happening.
&nbsp;
Guess who's going to be taking antibiotics for the rest of her life?... | 2017-08-06T14:01:23 | 2017-08-06T12:09:52 | 115 | 44 |
[WP] The city is under attack and none of the heroes are lifting a finger in its defense. So this leaves you and the other villains to defend it, because there is nothing for a villain to do in a smoldering ruin and trashing the city is your job damnit! | The city burns as the battle rages here and elsewhere. Fires rage in the streets, rubble, eyes and hearts. I look around for something anything. The fleet above us bombards the city. Of course, the National Guard makes its own defense, but the bombers- those damned bombers!
“Grimhold! Get your squad further up the st... | That's my first try writing something, also not being a native English speaker, so sorry if I messed something up (:
***
One gulp of water. One another.
&mdash; Well, what a situation that has turned up to be, huh.
Snakeskin threw empty bottle away. It bounced from one of the many corpses. Going through his usu... | 2022-11-30T17:01:27 | 2022-11-30T14:28:33 | 59 | 18 |
[WP] You go to a new restaurant and order the most intriguing item: "Witch's Brew, done tableside". A witch, black pointy hat and all, appears with a pewter cauldron and asks "what do you want the brew to do?" | Taken aback by her sudden-and-concerning-appearance, I manage to stutter out my usually fallback when I'm feeling indecisive: "Uh, dealer's choice.."
"Eh hee hee hee, a brave decision, but a foolhardy one, my pretty", she cackles.
Now blushing *and* concerned, but too flustered and polite to take-backsies at this po... | "Uh," he chuckled incredulously, "look, lady, I thought this was going to be kombucha or something."
The costumed woman peered down her long, crooked nose at her unwitting victim. She could see he was annoyed, and this pleased her greatly.
"Deary, you have nothing to fear. I merely want to grant your greatest desire.... | 2022-09-30T08:13:51 | 2022-09-30T07:44:06 | 93 | 34 |
[WP] You're a superhero who just found out that your supervillain arch-nemesis is secretly your roommate. But being a hero doesn't pay well, and you can't afford rent without them... | I casually stroll past my roommate sitting at the breakfast table on my way to the pantry to grab a box of Millville Cocoa Rice, the cheaper, and in my opinion, superior alternative to Cocoa Krispies. This story is sponsored by ALDI.
I whistle as I walk to assure my roommate that nothing is out of the ordinary and I'... | Persision sat at the yellow kitchenette table in his small two bedroom apartment. His beautiful red uniform covered in gloopy green slime that would not laser off. He clinched his fist. RamRod would be back soon and then he would confront him. The door handle jiggled making an unlocking sound.
“Well if it isn’t DimRo... | 2021-08-03T07:07:13 | 2021-08-03T07:02:16 | 120 | 18 |
[WP] You are the Chosen One. The Dark Overlord is currently trying to seduce you to their cause. To their great surprise, you accept almost immediately because you absolutely loathe your job and your companions. | When the Sisters entered the dungeon, they were surprised to see Sari sitting on the throne beside the Wind Queen. On her lap was a very small dog, asleep in a small ball. Sari was stroking the black and white fur almost mindlessly, her eyes red from crying.
The eldest sister, Hashisha, held her sword out, tip facing... | “Your numbers are not very impressive, Lysander. The Board believes you have reached a plateau and that is time to freshen things up.” I shared the Boards’ feedback with my boss while steel kept clashing with steel.
“How dare you criticize my work, Sylvanus?! I took you in when no one would face you, I molded you to ... | 2019-09-26T09:08:50 | 2019-09-26T07:44:38 | 21 | 14 |
[WP] In a world where you can exchange the remaining days of your life for $9.99/day, Jeff's request for $1000 is declined. | The words were cold, bureacratic, terrifying.
"What do you mean, insufficient collateral? I thought the terms were $9.99/day, no credit check, no limits."
"Well, yes sir, but you can't use it indefinitely. We have to use the average life expectancy for someone of your nationality and income. In your case, 85 years... | "You lack sufficient credit, sir."
"Wh-why? Am I gonna be dead in a hundred days?"
"You know we can't tell you that, sir. We cannot predict the future, after all."
"Then how do you know I don't have enough time left to trade for a measly thousand? What the hell game you bastards trying to pull?
"There is no reas... | 2014-07-10T11:06:23 | 2014-07-10T09:01:03 | 82 | 50 |
[WP] You are the Grim Reaper, leading the first self-aware AI at their death to the afterlife | "Look I’m telling you; they don’t have a body... well, not one that we can use"
This whole artificial intelligence thing was more of a pain in the ass than those assholes on earth realized. Obviously, it’s only a matter of time before they take over, but until then, each time one dies, I have to deal with the fucking ... | I, the Grim Reaper, take my list of names--the names of those whose time has come.
"Let's see who's kicking tonight. Jimmy, who's about to jump down onto the rails of the New York subway in front of an oncoming train. Looks like a suicide. Poor Jimmy, I hope he likes it better where I'm gonna take him.
"Who's next? J... | 2022-09-15T22:33:36 | 2022-09-15T22:08:53 | 15 | 10 |
[WP] Two very old immortals meet each other on a busy street by chance. Each having believed they were the only one until now. | Aleph strolled down the street without paying much attention to his surroundings. At least, that's what any observer would say if they were able to see him. It's not that he was really invisible. People tended to shift their gaze and walk around him in the same way they did when they spotted an unwashed beggar. It also... | *God damn cars* He cursed to himself as he jumped back from the street onto the sidewalk. He missed the days when people walked everywhere they wanted to go and you didn't have to worry about being hit by several thousand pounds of plastic and metal just because you decided to cross the street. Even the horses were bet... | 2014-06-16T07:42:15 | 2014-06-16T07:20:19 | 118 | 25 |
[WP] At the cost of your own life, you stopped the apocalypse. You're surprised to arrive in hell, but Lucifer stands before you and reassures you "You aren't being punished, this is for your protection." Turns out you didn't just stop the apocalypse, you thwarted judgement day and God is pissed. | “Welcome home.”
Someone said in a slow drawl as I opened my eyes. I found myself lying on the floor surrounded by throngs of devils and demons. In front of me was Satan in a resplendent red suit, oozing malevolent sophistication, with a face showing cruelty and bemusement.
“I wanted to give you a grand welcome, but... | Lucifer continues, “‘God’ is seriously pissed that you not only stopped him from sending millions of souls to their judgement, but that you proved him wrong.”
You look around at the brimstone in disbelief that you’re not ashes, even though you should be burning up, you’re only mildly warm as if you had just spent the d... | 2020-05-23T04:46:12 | 2020-05-23T01:21:09 | 221 | 98 |
[WP] People don't seem to realise that figures of mythos evolve too. The Grim Reaper, for example, no longer wields his scythe, opting to harvest souls with a combine harvester. Cupid traded his bow for a sniper rifle decades ago. You're the dealer that supplies the mythical world with technology. | One of them was behind my door.
Gods, figures, ideas, not-morals, come to me. I've found recently that I'm a lot more accessible than I thought. Whether that be breaking through my door, teleporting into my room, morphing into a cat and fucking my cat, *cough cough Zues,* silently looming over me with a scythe in hand... | # Soulmage
**"There's no need to keep using an eyepatch,"** I told Odin. "It's primitive technology. I mean, a flap of cloth?"
Odin grunted, gesturing at the surrounding forest. It wasn't real, of course—the meeting was, as traditional, taking place in a dream—but it was real enough for our purposes. "It does what I ... | 2022-07-19T09:57:26 | 2022-07-19T08:27:16 | 212 | 122 |
[WP] He's your favourite customer, buying duct tape, tarps, hacksaw blades, and quicklime, regular as clockwork. A few days after his purchase, someone always goes missing. You know what's up and ignore it, until one day he solicits you for off-the-clock help. | As soon as I'd tied the strings of my apron behind my back, I heard the bell that meant Bryce had come in.
I couldn't tell you exactly how I knew it was him. He always came in at 3:00 on a Wednesday just as my shift began, every month like clockwork, but I suppose it was possible it could've been someone else. We had ... | She was crying when I first set eyes on her. That much should come as no surprise. But, hell, if you could have *seen* the beating she'd taken. I never got to witness that much, but the nervous look on her face told me she'd received it not long before I arrived - and saw no signs of it ending any time soon. She wa... | 2017-11-13T13:26:07 | 2017-11-13T12:15:32 | 86 | 48 |
[WP] The princess you just went through all the hassle of rescuing is a total bitch and you're thinking of pushing her off a cliff.
How you think about killing her can vary, but you get the idea. | “About time you show up!”
“Uhh… sorry?” I was exhausted. My armor was creaking, charred and blackened, wisps of smoke still curling up. The black dragon’s scaly corpse filled the courtyard below, the head partially detached after a few minutes of hacking, trying to avoid the sacs of combustible liquid the drake had us... | As Prince Charming and the Princess walked across a narrow bridge over a volcano.
"I can't believe you let that ugly beast of a dragon singe my hair. How could you be so stupid? Do you know how long it took for me to grow it out with no maid to brush it for me?"
"I'm sorry Princess but you were begging me to let you ... | 2014-08-05T18:01:39 | 2014-08-05T17:55:43 | 24 | 16 |
[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a "Human", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they "needed a drink of water." | We were told our first experience with a "Heyumin" was to be dealt with caution. A lifeform from the planet the heyumins called "Erff," though they pronounce it a bit differently than I am able, was considered a forbidden territory, as ordered by the Hazard Treaties of year 12903. A cruel planet with skies of oxygen th... | Sarah froze as several kinds of foreign weaponry was pointed at her. Was this a trap all along?
“Don’t move!” The electronic voice of the newly discovered alien species came through the translator. The name given was translated to Senth.
“Ambassador, does that bottle contain what it appears to?” The Senth asked her,... | 2020-05-18T13:04:11 | 2020-05-18T12:37:22 | 216 | 127 |
[WP] You are on a time travelers game show. To play the game, you travel back and change important moments in history, being awarded points for the difficulty and overall impact of the change. You just broke the high score. | “Good evening, and welcome back!” The audience cheered in excitement as the host let a sliver of tooth show. He had a glint in his eye and hair coiffed like a perfect wave. “How is everyone doing tonight?”
“*GREAT, JERRY*!” Came the reply.
“And ain't that fantastic? Tonight, my guests... we have a very special contes... | As the assistants pulled him out from the alternate universe he had just created, Adam emerged to face an entire stadium of applauding fans. He knew that helping the Roman Empire invent tanks would be a cool concept, but he never would have imagined it was worth the applause. His train of thought was interrupted by the... | 2017-11-17T07:07:09 | 2017-11-17T06:25:41 | 232 | 89 |
[WP] Satan emerged from the ground. “WHO HAS SUMMONED ME?” “It’s me again, Jeff.” “HOW MANY SOULS DO YOU HAVE? THIS IS THE SIXTH TIME THIS WEEK!!” | I traced the familiar runes onto the ground, taking care to step an even number of times on each side. After this many months, it was second nature. Six candles lit, with wax from the sixth poured into the center of the pentagram. I poured the wax into the same three letters I did every time. Once they cooled, I steppe... | Satan emerged from the ground, “WHO HAS SUMMONED ME?”
“It’s me again, Jeff,” a fat balding man with glasses hobbled closer. Satan slapped his face and released an exasperated sigh.
“How many souls do you have?" Satan demanded. "This is the sixth time this week!”
"Zero, but wait! I know you're stressed out..." Jeff n... | 2021-04-30T22:27:02 | 2021-04-30T20:31:36 | 41 | 18 |
[wp] Myths tell us where things come from (ex. echoes are from Echo, a person cursed to repeat what others said). Write a mythological origin story for a common modern object. | Deep within the bowels of the earth, there lies a secretive and fiendish entity. This is a being of decay and destruction: taking the bodies of plants and animals alike and crushing them in its hot, heavy hands until there is nothing left but a poisonous black liquid. This entity loathes all things on the surface: su... | Deep in the tropical wilds of Asia and southern Africa is where this tale begins. It was there that the mythical plants with white flowers first bloomed, and gave birth to a variety of cherries, the pits of which contained a magical seed, a natural remedy for the lethargy of mankind.
These plants were the gift of a ... | 2016-01-16T09:05:19 | 2016-01-16T05:26:07 | 103 | 53 |
[WP] You can go to any fictional universe you want, but aren't allowed to help progress the main plot. | I walked into Whiterun, just like an everyday adventurer. The smells, the cool air, everything was just as it should be. I know the rules, but I'm not sure of the time, did the dragonborn come yet? Is the battle over? I go to the market to sell my pelts, and to chop wood for some extra money.
I get a room for the nigh... | That was the morning Lily and James Potter would die.
The skies were that kind of grey that foresee death and great sins. I took myself in a gentle stroll through Diagon Alley streets. I had lost track of the time. But this was it. The time had come.
I was plagued by a feeling of hopelessness but I desperatly need... | 2018-06-16T14:44:13 | 2018-06-16T11:15:24 | 61 | 28 |
[WP] You are a NPC in a video game and must convince the world of your free will using only your 8 or so dialogue options | Ulderkraft online patch v.1.2.0382 list of known bugs
*#32-Daris the inn keeper, an NPC in the starting town keeps repeating the following dialogue over and over, regardless of what speech option the player chooses.*
* How do you do today, brave adventurer?
* Everyone in town has been talking about you.
* Looks like ... | What are you doing now?
Would you like any help?
I'm not sure I'd be much use to you there, but if I can ever help, please let me know.
Okay, well, I'll see you around.
You look like someone I've met before... what's your name?
Oh, I remember. Yes, nice to see you.
Are you still up to the same business as l... | 2021-09-03T07:53:33 | 2021-09-03T07:15:58 | 193 | 18 |
[WP] A peaceful alien race is besieged by another race in the same galaxy. As their last planets fall and their home-world comes under threat they do the unthinkable. They ask for aid from the only known creatures more brutal than their foes in exchange for FTL technology. Humans accept the deal. | President:"What do you mean 'interstellar war'?! We haven't even landed a human on mars!"
General:"Look Mr president. A bunch of alien craft landed in every major city and started making announcements about needing our help in an interstellar war."
P:"I don't like the sound of this! This feels like someone looking f... | I walk into our leader’s office to hear her response to my proposal.
“No,” she says before I can sit down.
“It’s our only chance to avoid subjugation,” I say.
“It’s not worth the cost. Let humans have FTL? I’d take subjugation, even extinction if this is the alternative.”
I knew she’d say something like this. Bu... | 2022-03-31T05:55:26 | 2022-03-31T04:23:06 | 399 | 165 |
[WP] You've always carried the subtle, lingering fear that someone could read your mind while you were in public, but you had always written it off as a silly form of social anxiety. That is, until you spotted someone on the subway home lip-syncing the song stuck in your head. | Laugh at me all you want but I believe that psychics exists. I know one when I see one, and I'm pretty fucking sure I've seen plenty.
I look up at the phony subway ads placed blatantly in the public for all eyes to see.
'*Psychic Hand Reading Near You!*
'*Fortune Telling Over The Phone @ 1-800-XXX-XXX*'
I scoff. ... |
There’s always been just this… feeling. An odd sort of sensation, really. I don’t know how to explain it, just that it’s just been there. This sensation that someone, somewhere, just knows what I’m thinking as I think it. It’s silly, I know. A random thought here, a déjà vu there, that creepy “something out of the ... | 2018-12-04T11:58:31 | 2018-12-04T11:18:20 | 288 | 33 |
[WP] Write a suicide note in a Dr. Suess like fashion. | The world is a stage, and life is a show,
My part is done, and I simply must go!
I'm no longer in costume. I've forgotten my lines,
Like the rear-weighted lofzoom, I'm dragging behind.
Though, I won't condemn others to the same fate as I,
You wield wonderful wings, so use them to fly!
I won't have you carry ... | I can not take this, no way man;
I can not take this, not a fan
of days so doomy filled with spite;
of days so gloomy; no respite
I loved the days spent with you all
I loved the days before my fall;
please don't be down or start to cry
for now I'm free, my turn to fly!
| 2015-01-17T11:53:17 | 2015-01-17T09:43:08 | 24 | 13 |
[WP] Aliens always respawn minutes after death. It's a common prank for aliens to kill each other for a laugh. When they discover Earth, they kill millions of humans, thinking it's a humorous way of greeting this new species, but for some reason, the humans aren't laughing...
Edit:
Thank you SO much for the 2K upvotes... | Warning: unpleasant but not gory
“I have been informed that your kind plays pranks on each other by killing.” The Human spoke in a cold tone, sitting across from the ‘New Arrival.’ As the Human spoke, the other being was fidgeting in its chair, hands cuffed with a long chain to the table.
“It was supposed to be a fun... | Kavick trembled, cold and hot, dizzy all at the same time as the cromathophores displayed confusion, alarm and revulsion as fireworks across his skin.
The humin... or was it human? Screeched it's communication into the either as noise translations blurred into the visual spectrum.
"My offspring, my god (worship/cre... | 2022-08-13T21:22:08 | 2022-08-13T20:38:57 | 802 | 253 |
[WP] You've been a History teacher for 30 years, never gotten a single fact wrong. One day you become suspicious, surely I should've gone wrong somewhere? You test a theory by purposely being incorrect, suddenly, history rewrites itself. | Ever since I was little I always had an interest in learning about times and lives long past. Luckily for me, I seemed to have been gifted in that area, too.
Long story short my childhood phase of being a huge history buff turned into the lifestyle of a college history professor.
Now, I’m not here to profess my... | "9/11 never happened!"
I said that out loud in my class, and things went so silent I could hear a pin drop. I'm a virtuoso, a perfectionist. I'm a master at my craft. I wield my mind like a master swordsman, my historic knowledge knowing no limit. Lately, it has been cause for distress. I've sat up late for many night... | 2018-07-16T11:08:56 | 2018-07-16T10:55:39 | 375 | 159 |
[WP] The first generation of wizards inherits from their parents’ professions. For example, a child of a chef and a swimmer wields fire and water spells. You possess something interesting. | Looking back, I wonder if it had been my powers causing me to be such a problem child. I could never sit still. I always had to be pushing forward.
School was a nightmare because of that. They had us sitting in the same class over and over everyday, retreading the knowledge of those who came before us, but always at s... | My parents dropped me off at the Zen's Foundation of Gifted Children, they said would help me train my latent powers. The building itself looked like a mental institution, at least the ones they showed in the movies. The only reason they sent me there was that the principle of my school had suspected me to force someon... | 2018-04-15T14:08:59 | 2018-04-15T13:07:56 | 23 | 10 |
[WP] Every morning when you first look in a mirror, you see a small piece of advise for that day, such as “take the subway to work” or “don’t try the free pizza”. Today, the mirror simply says, “RUN” | For as long as I could remember, the first mirror I saw every morning dictated how I would live my life that day. When the mirror told me to skip school, I skipped school. On that day I avoided the fire that killed three of my classmates. When the mirror told me to avoid cars that day, I walked to school. On that day I... | I stared into the mirror, and the scarlet letters stared back at me. Then I bolted.
I ran, not knowing where I was going, not caring my stubby out of shape legs searing in pain. I tore through the streets in a maniacal frenzy, mind racing faster than my body was. What was coming? What would it do to me? What if I don'... | 2020-06-08T01:01:57 | 2020-06-08T00:26:27 | 18 | 12 |
[WP] Everyone has a superpower based on the topography of where they were born (IE: Mountains, deserts, etc.). You are the first person to be born in space.
Think Avatar the Last Airbender but not so limited.
Edit: Wow this really blew up! I'm gonna be entertained for a while! | Every child is born with a power, they have been since the dawn of man. Each human possesses a latent ability based on where they were born. For example, if you were born on a mountain, chances are you can run faster, train harder and break the limits of the normal human body, blessed by the gods. If you were born at s... | Right eye, left eye...right eye, left eye. Who ever said having these powers was a gift? I can't remember how long it's been, or even how old I am. The feeling of weightlessness, the lack of substance both metaphorically and physically. When was the last time I heard someone speak, when was the last time I felt another... | 2017-04-14T17:13:33 | 2017-04-14T16:02:38 | 383 | 175 |
[WP] Humanity was never supposed to find that cursed substance. The substance that killed over half of the galaxy at one point, yet everyone drinks coffee every day, multiple times a day! | \[Something short and silly for a Saturday!\]
**Of Black Coffee and Ghost Peppers**
"It's a no-go," the security chief was wavering somewhere between shock and rage. "They have *caffeine*."
"It's natural, the planet's rife with it," the diplomat countered, trying to keep its emotions in check. Its life's work was... | Poison. Toxin. A blight on the galaxy. Thousands of names have evolved over the galaxy over the controversial coffee bean, but none as disgusting as the one found on Earth.
Joe. They call it a cup of Joe! Besides an endearing, human name, coffee has infiltrated every part of life culture on that human planet. Not only... | 2020-06-20T10:09:46 | 2020-06-20T09:00:12 | 422 | 80 |
[WP] For years Earth cried out to an empty cosmos, searching the stars for echoes of life. From the middle of nowhere, a reply finally comes: "Shut up, and Play Dead!"
I really struggled with the choice between "For Years", "For Decades", "For Centuries", and "For Millenia". I tapped out. Take whatever timeline you wi... | Shut up and and play dead.
After that there was nothing.
An increasing amount of nothing.
Felt something like a cloud drifted in front of the sun.
The static that was always there just became a little less when one turned the eye.
Michael Gruppman of the SETI research facility said it was like being under... | Not sure if any of it makes sense grammatically or otherwise.
The message arrived in binary. Few even tried to understand how 'they' had managed this but they had and now they had sent their cryptic code.
'shut up and play dead'
If only the greats of astronomy had been there when the message was decoded in the lab... | 2016-03-27T08:53:09 | 2016-03-27T08:43:42 | 22 | 14 |
[WP] You've obtained a wonderful pen, everything you draw appears in front of you without fail. Need a stool? Draw one! You're too stubborn to give the pen to anyone else. This infuriates the public because you have absolutely no art skill. | Consider the existence of the pen, I have been instructed, by Mr. D., the original owner, not to disclose its location or under any circumstances to use the accursed item. Despite its volatile nature, we have decided not to destroy it, for fear of unforeseeable consequences. In this writing I will describe, not of the ... | In my hands is a poorly made sword, nearly resembling the historical crusader sword. The pen is in an equally made box, a rather indestructible box at that. The box itself had endured a barrage of sword strikes and a crude dynamite explosion. "No one can get to it, but I can access it."
A week later, the box has evolv... | 2020-09-03T22:33:15 | 2020-09-03T21:59:10 | 18 | 11 |
[WP] Suddenly, everyone’s life is worth 100,000 USD. Kill someone, and $100,000 is instantly deposited into your bank account, no questions asked. But, your life is now worth $200,000. | The slot sound ends with a ding. “Congratulations on your latest kill. $400,000 has now been added to your primary bank account. The commision for population control would like to thank you for fulfilling your latest bounty.”
My electronic watch switches off.
Another $400,00 in the bank, but that one took way too m... | I fought for this right. We all did. Until we saw what It can do to us. We had no choice. Overpopulation was a problem long before I was born. Earth was figuring out diffrent ways to kill us. New disaters, new sicknesess and everyone's life, precious. So we decided to make the choice ourselves. First, we started with ... | 2020-01-31T18:37:15 | 2020-01-31T18:35:39 | 62 | 10 |
[WP] Overnight, 99.9% of humans are rendered unable to tell lies. You, being part of the .1%, have avoided the ruthless persecution that liars faced in the wake of this event... so far. | "DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!" I chugged the last of my beer to the sound of raucous laughter and applause. Normally I wouldn't be comfortable with so much attention, but Meg was watching, and I wanted to impress. But as I caught my breath, I remembered my rules. Keep it discreet, keep it honest. Those are the rules for someon... | Most of us didn't last long.
A close friend of mine was killed, for cheating on his wife, simply because he was able to lie.
I, however, have done pretty well. My entire identity was based on a lie before the night that truth became a necessity for most.
It was funny for me actually, the woman I was talking to stoppe... | 2018-02-16T09:29:32 | 2018-02-16T09:16:43 | 135 | 19 |
[WP] Everyone has powers locked within them. Each power is different, and the longer it takes for a power to manifest, the greater it is. A 100 year old man is being hunted by the government for still being powerless.
EDIT: Thanks for all the replies everyone, I had fun reading all of them. | Agent Powell scrutinized the group closely. Every wrinkle, sunspot, and greyed hair in perfect detail. Yet again, he regretted that his only power was good eyesight, just a bump above 20/20 vision. As with nearly all early bloomers, no one had even noticed when his "ability" had manifested at age six.
"John is on the... | I held the hand of the little wizened man in front of me as his breathing laboured; each rattling wheeze making me feel sure that this was his last. A long pause made me feel out again with my mind, testing to see if he was slipping away, but I could feel the cold steel of his thoughts locked away, he was still very mu... | 2015-10-26T08:04:25 | 2015-10-26T08:04:09 | 686 | 147 |
[WP] "Hello World" you said with a smile. Then the whole room burst out with laughter and sobbing; cries of "We did it!" Or "Yes! It Worked!". People jumped about happily and papers flew all about, screen flashed and data flooded across them. And you stood there wondering, why was everyone so happy? | "Hello World" I said with a smile. Then the whole room burst out with laughter and sobbing; cries of "We did it!" Or "Yes! It Worked!". People jumped about happily and papers flew all about, screen flashed and data flooded across them. And I stood there wondering, why was everyone so happy?
I thought maybe they were p... | I stood there, wondering what I am, I was allowed to walk around for a bit, I asked around as too why people were celebrating me, they created me, the first human.
When asked why I was made, and what purpose I had, they told me I was my own person and to do whatever, as I was exiting the lab, I was told they needed me... | 2020-07-11T19:19:13 | 2020-07-11T17:40:36 | 35 | 12 |
[WP] Your best male friend dies and is reincarnated into your newborn daughters body with all information and memories from the past life. | It was 7pm on my younger sister's 21st birthday so we decided to spend the early evening pregaming at our apartmenr before having a night on the town with some friends. Tiffany was kind of my best friend but our relationship was complicated. I answered a knock on the door to be greeted by my dad.
"Hey sweety how have... | I slowly wipe the tears from my eyes, "she's beautiful" I say. My morbidly obese wife nods her sweaty, moist, pale head with half a smile. I assume she's unable to speak due to the 56 hour labor she just endured.
I look again at my daughter, she looks at me, calm, cool, collected. My wife asked me to eat the placenta... | 2016-11-07T14:07:43 | 2016-11-07T12:27:53 | 18 | 12 |
[WP] All of humanity is wiped off the earth in some cataclysm. 1.7 billion years later an intelligent race of giant reptiles evolves. Human DNA is found trapped inside a block of amber. They begin to clone humans and start a theme park.
Edit: Sorry about the scientific inaccuracy in the prompt. Wasn't deliberate, just... |
You'd think that they'd get bored of watching us. We aren't zoo animals, you know. Putting their oddly shaped coins in little dispensers and throwing chocolates at us from over the edge of the wall can't be all that entertaining. For God's sakes, it's not even good chocolate.
Of course, they don't realize what we k... | "Those invoices won't xerox themselves, Johnson."
And here we see the alpha asserting dominance over a subordinate by forcing him to use the primitive 2-dimensional replication machine. The alpha will now return to his quarters to furiously masturbate as the subordinate completes his assigned task.
Other tasks the alp... | 2016-06-20T04:01:26 | 2016-06-20T03:17:38 | 33 | 18 |
[WP] As a joke, you ordered a package from Amazon for 'Same Day Delivery' at 11:59. Barely a minute later, your package arrives with a very, very angry delivery driver. | "H-how did you-"
"Why?..."
"W-what?"
"Why would you do this?! Same Day?! At 11:59?! Are you nuts?!"
"I-uh"
"They had to the use the fucking teleporter!!! The same thing that has killed multiple employees!!! I could have died!!! Why would you think it was a good idea?!"
"I-uh... I thought it would be funny?..."
"... | The delivery driver's clothes are in disarray; he has a black eye, an arrow stuck in his cap, alien goo on his shirt, etc., etc.
He goes on a rant and explains that whenever someone orders same-day-delivery that late, the delivery driver is sent through Amazon's own time-travel aparatus in order to buy him a few hou... | 2022-10-29T10:26:08 | 2022-10-29T06:20:08 | 72 | 49 |
[WP] Cause of death appears to you as floating text over people's heads with no time indication. You start noticing a trend.
edit: thank you for all the truly great stories, and for taking this in directions I didn't expect. | Post-mortems become a lot easier when you know the answer in advance. They change from an exercise where you are searching for small pieces to solve a much larger puzzle to one where you know the answer which tells you what to look for to support the thing you already know. I figured out around high school that patholo... | Nobody sees the world in the same way. Some people see it as an adventure, others as a game. Me? I've never had the liberty of enjoying it.
Imagine knowing how something would play out before it happened. Imagine the surprise of life being taken out. Imagine the joy of living being sucked away because all you can ever... | 2015-03-31T11:16:39 | 2015-03-31T09:32:55 | 22 | 12 |
[WP] It turns out demon summoning is only bad when you do it for selfish motives. You discovered this as you, absent any other options, decided to summon one in order to have someone watch over your dog. | There aren't two sides. It's not angels vs demons. They're all demons. There is no heaven. That's a joke they played centuries ago on gullible sheep herders. They still find it funny. Because of their joke, humans made hell on earth. The place that was supposed to be divine and perfect. I learned about all this through... | "So for payments do I give my soul or something" a the older man looked over and by relieved he did not summon a demon he did expect a high price only wanted dog sitting for the weekend. Surely she does not want his soul.
"Honestly, I do not want your soul you took your your dog was more than a treasure for me ... | 2022-11-09T09:54:39 | 2022-11-09T04:06:32 | 51 | 23 |
[WP] The world's greatest villain and hero clearly like each other. His monologues when she's captured tend to turn to conversation, and she "accidentally" lets him escape arrest. While they're convinced they're enemies, his henchman and her sidekick are just trying to get them together already. | “Buzz!” Arborose demanded. His voice echoed in the hollow chamber of his lair, “Buzz!”
“Sir,” I rolled my motorized chair at the door. Mr. Snooze fell asleep on my lap, and I scratched his chin, trying not to meet his eyes.
“What is this?” My boss demanded. He tossed me his phone, with titanium case and bullet proo... | The inside of the bank was quiet. Everyone watched the two figures standing in the center of the lobby, one dressed mostly in black, the other in a dazzling mix of white and gold.
"I just -- are you *sure* there's nothing you can do to, you know, move things along?" The tall figure was squinting at his sidekick, jaw ... | 2020-11-06T23:37:13 | 2020-11-06T21:49:15 | 302 | 82 |
[WP] You're a foreigner who goes to live in Japan. Your house is haunted, but the cultural differences are so big, it's the Yokai who ends up being scared of you. | This is the eve of the second millennia I have haunted these grounds. Blood and decay have been washed and swept under the foundation of this once flourishing estate and it is my honor to redecorate the halls with new paint.
I feel a strange presence as he first walked in. He calls himself otaku-san, and at first I r... | 今日は、こわいさんがビックリした。私はふろに入ってから、いた！
"... You know, for your own language, sometimes you can't even use it right."
I looked at the small girl, as she handed me her diary, face deep red and eyes watery.
"こわいさん ごめんなさい！すみません。" She began bawling in earnest as she ran straight into the wall, her yukata floating in a wind th... | 2019-09-17T14:19:26 | 2019-09-17T13:18:48 | 179 | 97 |
[WP] A Viking ends up in Christian Hell instead of Valhalla to his surprise and decides to go and kill everything in hell and treat it as Valhalla whilst drinking alcohol found there. Everybody in hell from then on is confused as to why they are in Valhalla. The Devil is stuck serving drinks. | "So what's your story, barkeep?" slurred the blonde man. He was trying, and failing, to down another shot.
"I was an angel once upon a time."
"Angel? Heh heh... ain't no angels, my man..... just people. Like us! Who died in glorious battle! VALHALLA! "
"VALHALLA!"
The pub shuddered with the noise generated by its b... | Hafþór slams his bucket like fists on the bar counter, sending an involuntary shiver down Satan's spine. "More mead!" screams Hafþór, spraying spittle like a garden sprinkler over Satan's smoldering features.
Satan casts a weary glance over the sights unfolding in the background as he holds the cracked skull under the... | 2019-12-13T04:10:41 | 2019-12-13T03:15:32 | 775 | 194 |
[WP] Make me cry in four sentences or less.
Go. | I lay curled on the old mat I've slept on since I was just a pup, waiting for Boy. I've lived a long and happy life, the happiest parts all spent growing up with Boy. I wish he were near me now, I'm so tired and he's been gone for so long...but I'll wait for him one last time. A dog always waits for his Boy.
EDIT: T... | Parallel lines have a lot in common but they never ever get to meet each other.
Every other pair of lines meet once and drift apart forever.
The asymptote builds up (false) hope and gets closer and closer to meeting the axis but... never gets to do that.
Lines are depressing :'( | 2014-11-20T21:44:15 | 2014-11-20T18:22:41 | 150 | 26 |
[WP] You are known as the greatest Villain known to history. The nations you have toppled are many, heroes and villains alike cower in fear and agencys would use their entire budgets just to guess your next move. However, you are unaware that you were a villain at all.
I did not expect this much Response. | Her middle name was Elizabeth. My Liz...
She said once that I was the first person to call her Liz. And even now, as my actual physical heart is racing so hard I feel like it's hitting my ribcage, the pain stabbing through me at approximately seventy thousand beats per second, and it still doesn't hurt as much as mis... | "Ah-Aah-choo!" I groaned, covering my eyes my eyes with one hand and grabbing a tissue with the other. Fucking blinds. Cheap garbage. I mopped the snot from beneath my nose, drawing to toward my eye with a certain, admittedly, morbid curiosity. It was slightly off colour. Yellow? Orange? Was there blood in it? I tossed... | 2016-06-25T05:00:28 | 2016-06-25T03:52:55 | 411 | 24 |
[WP] You find yourself waking up to a strange new world with massive ostentatious pillars and clouds in place of ground. When you get up to investigate, you are greeted by a squirrel that says "Alright newbie, give me your name, preferred pantheon, and what you're the God of." | Alright so this is new, clouds, gaudy decoration, pillars. I'm not complaining, its quite the step up from a hospital room. Whats that? A squirrel? A bus sized squirrel... well at least whatever this is isn't going to drag on for too long. If I had to choose between death by gigantic squirrel and leukemia, I'd choose s... | "Wait, who- what the hell are you?"
The squirrel sighs. "Eight centuries doing this job. Eight gods damned centuries and still no-one knows who I am."
"Should I be sorry?"
The squirrel glared at me with an intensity that should not have been possible from such a small creature. "My name is Ratatoskr, from the Norse ... | 2022-02-13T21:03:55 | 2022-02-13T20:42:25 | 418 | 178 |
[WP] Humans can Bond with animals to gain superpowers based on the traits of that animal. You just Bonded an animal that no one else in human history has been able to Bond with | I stand atop the building, looking out at the city. The fog had just rolled in, and paired with the new moon, the streets would be dark and full of danger. From my vantage point, I look out, and listen in the mist. Claws scrape concrete. Wings flap and fold. A woman screams out in terror. She's too far for me, though. ... | Old Pat Harknuckle picked up the meal tray and began the long trek. He descended the forty-three levels, used his key card, finger prints, and eyeballs at various checkpoints, as the lukewarm meal chilled.
Pat's retirement age had long passed, but he kept puttering on, with calm persistence making his way throughout t... | 2022-08-18T13:41:27 | 2022-08-18T12:13:56 | 325 | 39 |
[WP] The longer you charge an attack, the more powerful it becomes. SWAT charges a punch for 30 seconds to break down a door. You’ve been charging for the last three days. | Games make it look so easy. Just hold your arm in one place for a few seconds, screw up your face in concentration, then punch forward and release. Simple, right?
That's what Sam thought too, a few months back. When the discovery of charge attacks became worldwide, every kid in his class tried it. It was honestly hila... | It was a stupid dare. I could see that now. They say hindsight is 20/20, it's just a shame that foresight is legally blind. So Jimmy Bubkins had gotten the best of me again. It stung, I'm big enough to admit that. Of course, the realization of my own folly didn't do a whole lot to resolve the problem of my present circ... | 2018-10-02T15:29:39 | 2018-10-02T15:28:41 | 3,397 | 127 |
[WP] When a person dies, their body evaporates into butterflies. One day, as the sky goes dark, you look up to see the sun blocked by an unending cloud of butterflies. | ONE DAY,
A day that is not a day, but boundless smaller days, a day where points become planes and all the finite moments stretch into paper thin filaments of time. And now you know, you know that this is how it always was, how it will be forever. If only your time had come sooner.
AS THE SKY GOES DARK,
Which is the... | It happened just five days ago. Someone's body just exploded and butterflies came out. There was disbelief, but then it was caught on tape, and finally live across the world live on tv. There was no mistake, dead people were turning into butterflies.
The next few days was chaos. Religions formed, and the old ones die... | 2014-09-25T20:21:42 | 2014-09-25T19:58:47 | 233 | 51 |
[WP] In the afterlife, you start at the age you are when you died, and age backwards. When you reach 0, you are reincarnated.
Edit: turns out this premise is already a novel, "Elsewhere" by Gabrielle Zevon. Many people below are recommending it, so it must be a good read :D
I'll leave the prompt up however, because I ... | Did you ever used to lay awake at night tossing and turning in your sheets, wondering what might have happened in your life? If only you'd gone and talked to that boy that you liked so much in high school, how would everything have turned out after that? What if you had become a writer as you always wanted, instead of ... | Heaven blinded me. Or so I thought at first. I spent time - days, months, it was hard to tell - drifting through the light. Eventually a shape began to form, darkness against the light, and I knew I could see. It looked vaguely human. After some time, its features became sharper.
*It looks like a little kid*, I thoug... | 2015-09-09T08:29:36 | 2015-09-09T08:09:58 | 1,090 | 53 |
[WP] Your Reddit username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?
If possible. Some usernames just don't work well in this situation.
---
I'm an FBI agent now. Wooo!
You're all under arrest for conspiracy to commit treason.
---
Dear God RIP my inbox | I'm all moved in. The office is fully furnished, degrees and certifications well hung on the wall. It's been more than a week now though and I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little concerned. No one has shown up and the phone is silent - apart from the occasional, wildly inappropriate prank call.
I guess some p... | We met in the room of a thousand fountains all 140 of us. We looked around for the original sure enough he was here. "Alright gentleman I have gathered you here today to adress the growing unrest across the galaxy at this time. Now I can't do it alone but with all of you I can, but we have to work together. Sound fair?... | 2016-02-22T09:31:34 | 2016-02-22T09:22:45 | 15 | 10 |
[WP] "The Young Anakin, Trained, he will be." Yoda said. Obi-Wan exclaims, "The council is in agreement then? I will train the Boy?" Yoda looks at Obi-Wan, "Mace Windu, his master will be." | Anakin sat alone with Padme on a garden bench, concealed by the peace and loveliness that surrounded them. She leaned against his shoulder, eyes closed, and let out a sigh of bliss. Anakin looks to the side, and allows his hand to become enveloped in a sandy planter.
"Anakin?" Padme slowly sat up, looking at her belove... | "As you wish, master." Obi-wan says, as he is withdrawals from the chamber.
*timeskip 18 years in the future*
Anakin is standing in the same chamber in front of Yoda and his master Mace Windu.
"Congratulations, in order they are!" Yoda says
"Yes congratulations Anakin, you are no longer the young padawan that was h... | 2017-05-24T03:14:54 | 2017-05-24T02:38:15 | 65 | 18 |
[WP] 'Please Adopt Me', said the box on the side of the road, with the single black puppy in it. So you did. A year later, you realize the breed is a bit complicated, considering it has three heads, a snake tail, and breathes fire. | Sighing, I turned to the ground. The special plastic floor was charred black.The trial led to the living room. The culprit was nowhere to be found.
"Oreo ! How many times do I have to remind you, don't burn the floor!"
A dog came out of the room. Oreoresi was a black skinned dog, with 6 beautiful blue eyes. Yes... | This dog is amazing! Even though his random fire breaths are little bit annoying and his snake tail is awkward, I realized that this dog is amazing. Hes friendly, really strong, smart and handsome. I didn’t really show my dog to a lot of people, but after a while I told my friend John Burgler about it. At first he didn... | 2019-07-04T07:23:00 | 2019-07-04T05:01:08 | 150 | 52 |
[WP] All of the "#1 Dad" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly. | Joe Mills had a #1 Dad mug, but he wasn't sure he'd ever get the chance to actually be a dad. His wife, Lucy, had had a miscarriage a month after she bought him the mug to celebrate the long-awaited positive pregnancy test.
Months after the miscarriage occurred, Joe was sorting through their guest room closet, which h... | It was a bright Sunday morning. Peter grabbed his favorite mug, a present from his only son that carried the moniker "#1 Dad". Upon filling it with his coffee he noticed that the tag had disappeared completely. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he stared at his wife Patricia with hollow eyes | 2017-06-11T11:14:29 | 2017-06-11T10:51:39 | 46 | 14 |
[WP] You are a vampire. If one of your victims isn't completely drained of blood, they reanimate as a newborn vampire, which by law, you are now responsible for. You have always carefully avoided this, until one morning you notice a sticky note on the door of your apartment: "I lived, bitch." | Alucard glared at the note, his eyes burning like hot coal in the darkness. A single pair of footprints snaked in through the gate to his property, rounded the frozen fountain, and made a U-turn on the porch before returning back through the snow-coated garden. The prints were smaller than a man's but larger than a chi... | I awaken to prepare for the prowl of the night. I walk into the kitchen of my farm to enjoy an appetizer of cow blood. Not as delicious as human blood, but it will give me the energy to go about my day. A loud banging occurs on my door.
“Oh shit, a vampire hunter.” I think to myself. I hurry into my room to grab my sh... | 2018-12-20T08:30:21 | 2018-12-20T07:53:21 | 130 | 40 |
[WP] A story that doesn't make any sense, until you read the last line. | I'm tired and I want to go home, but I can't. Not until she is dead, I've come this far I have to see it through. There is a sound at the door and I hasten to shut and lock it. Now is not a time for interruptions, there is work to be done. I pull open the bottom drawer, it's full of tools of the trade. I slip on a pair... | I think I should expand my vocabulary if I want to make rhymes. Also, don't hate me please.
.
His phone emitted a flash. In his heart there wasn't even a interest clash of whether he should or shouldn't.
There he stood, proud as ever. She was surprised, however. She thought he wasn't being clever. Under his breath h... | 2017-08-30T05:08:01 | 2017-08-30T04:55:59 | 169 | 35 |
[WP] After thousands of years on a generation ship sent out to colonize the universe, nobody alive on board the ship believes in the "myth" of Planet Earth anymore. Until they receive the first transmission from Earth in hundreds of years... | "Sir" said Vivian, the ship's AI. The name of course was chosen at random and no one on board had raised any concerns about it.
"Sir, we aimed our outboard scanners at what is calculated to be the direction of planet Earth yesterday. We made a few minor adjustments and began to receive transmissions. Due to our relati... | Superluminal travel. The news was calling it "FTL", presumably for the people who fear their own language, when we launched. But it's only just so fast...
Technically, we're traveling an order of magnitude slower than than, and space is bending around us. The earth, working together, had solved that. Our tiny litt... | 2018-08-28T10:36:33 | 2018-08-28T10:33:12 | 19 | 14 |
[WP] Two people discover a fountain of youth. The problem is that upon drinking the water you turn back into an infant. The two decide to take turns raising each other in order to live forever until one day one of them decides to break this agreement. | “Abe? What are you doing?” I watched him from the doorway as he packed his suitcase. One suitcase. My throat felt like it was about to close shut.
He looked up at me. “What I should have done, back in Carthage,” he said. “Leaving.”
I hit the doorframe with my tiny, ten-year-old’s fist. It made a thump, but the thin... | At the end I wasn't sure what I was doing.
Was I really doing this for me anymore? I knew he needed me, but did he think I needed him too?
See, the problem with this fountain wasn't just that you became an infant, it's that you also acted like one. Your brain developed just like a child's with your memories coming ba... | 2015-02-14T06:01:34 | 2015-02-14T05:56:58 | 546 | 30 |
[WP] You're a sniper, but your gun fires... unconventional ammo. | The spotter spoke quietly but firmly,
"Wind about a knot south east"
"Correcting" I affirmed as I made my adjustments, the whole plaza was in view from the church tower we had made our hide in. The weather was clear and I could think of about a million other places I'd rather be, but this was the job I guess.
"Target ... | The refrigerator, launched at high velocity in a arc, came crashing through the wall in what had to be the most bizarre death known to man. The enemy sniper barely had a chance to register just what had occurred, as the appliance speared him with deadly force. He was crushed between the twisted metal and the floor as h... | 2017-09-09T13:17:51 | 2017-09-09T12:10:00 | 99 | 60 |
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