prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 226 10k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.43k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.26k |
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[WP] You are the best thief in the kingdom. You’re hard to find but money talks. A stranger in a hood has a request for you. “What do you want me to steal?” You ask. They remove their hood. “Me,” says the Kingdom’s prince/princess. | “No. Absolutely not.”
“Why not?” she asked, taken aback. The dim tavern lighting reflected off her shimmering green eyes, revealing a keen intelligence that no disguise could hide. Riven cursed under his breath and tore his gaze away.
“I know how this will end. No,” he said to the table.
“Please,” soft fingers grasp... | I stared at her blankly. The princess of the 9 kingdoms and one of the most influental people in the realm sat there, watching for a reaction under my hood. Of course, I am THE thief. I give nothing away. I can steal from your house, your vault and your card game, when you least expect it. I've never been caught in my ... | 2019-08-05T12:13:20 | 2019-08-05T11:59:37 | 36 | 10 |
[WP] All of the "#1 Dad" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly. | Word had quickly spread through the country about the bizarre mug changes. A whole host of dads were waking up to vindication or disappointment as the numbers of their mugs changed from #1 to some indiscriminately high number. Those who placed in the low hundred thousands were those few dads who had always seemed stabl... | James was not a great man.
Great men walked up to the world and bent it to its will. Great men looked at challenge and laughed.
James did his 9-5, came home, and sat down. He typically would stand back up a few times, to use the toilet or get a beer, but no more than a few.
His son had stopped asking him to play w... | 2021-12-03T09:27:18 | 2017-06-11T09:29:45 | 828 | 159 |
[WP] One night, something grabs your hand as it hangs off the edge of the bed. You give it a firm handshake. "You're hired," it whispers. | Bony fingers
gripped my hand
tore my soul
pulled me into
depths below
Black as Midnight
robe on hook
scythe on wall
Wait in office
for the call
Souls in balance
need my swipe
feel my slice
I decide who's
naughty nice
The day will come
you will see
I will see
your sins laid ... | I don't let go after during the shake and I ripe what is attached to my hand up on the bed. It's a leprechaun. If it can shake a persons hand say they're hired and the person excepts, then they switch lives. But if the leprechaun is caught while trying to make this deal, he has to grant one wish. I wish for the one thi... | 2017-04-29T03:55:38 | 2017-04-28T23:36:59 | 16 | 10 |
[WP] I'm a professional assassin, well-known both for my skill, and for my choice in target; I only kill vile people, whether what they're doing is illegal or not. You're selling drugs? That's your problem. Treating someone like a slave? Not on my watch. I leave cards behind me to save police time. | The police were extremely concerned when they arrived at the scene: no signs of forced entry, minimal struggle, the area was visibly cleaned afterwards. What was initially a sign of a professional hit became all the more concerning when they found some of my cards.
I’m a known element, but until they saw the first of ... | **Note: Last time I wrote something not for work was 2018. Sorry if this isn't the greatest.**
Society had dubbed me the trained and well paid assassin. I wasn't so much paid, as I was rewarded. It was true villains I took off the street, though I suppose it'd depend on who'd agree with me if what i did was good or b... | 2022-09-13T09:54:01 | 2022-09-13T03:45:50 | 127 | 38 |
[WP] You open a new snapple bottle with real fact #666. It says 'create your own real fact.' You say a statement and it becomes true.
What is the fact and what happens next? | A long lifetime of nineteen years, jealous and reviled, saw me beneath the garage lights, Snapple in hand. The fingers twist, the cap that lifts to reveal some probably already seen fact still sweating of cold beneath them.
"Create your own real fact."
The print is strange. Inconstant, and somehow abstract, I'm not s... | "Create your own real fact." Huh? I didn't get it. All I wanted to read was a simple real fact. I had gotten to enjoy these Snapple real facts, like John Adams was the only President defeated by his own vice president, Thomas Jefferson. Or that Louisiana is home to over 80% of the world's crayfish. But make your own r... | 2015-01-17T15:59:47 | 2015-01-17T14:43:13 | 37 | 12 |
[WP] When people turn 18, they gain the power to summon 1 random thing in the world to their hand, as Thor does to Mjolnir. Summoned people are considered soulmates, and objects as important parts of one's life. When you summon yours, it takes some time, but people are horrified when it arrives... | I had never given much thought to what my Summoning would bring. Far, far too busy. Always head down, eyes on the screen or hands shuffling papers. When not working I was constantly being relocated; shifted around for those that seemed themselves more deserving, more worthy. I had a window once. And the squirrels. Beau... | They all screamed as the orange haired president doubled over in pain live on national television as I laughed maniacally in the back of the bar waving his severed member in my hand before throwing it into my drink.
“Steve!!” “what the fuck man?!” Randy screamed at me as he vomited onto the floor. “It’s your birthday... | 2019-09-18T09:48:46 | 2019-09-18T09:37:18 | 18 | 10 |
[WP] Among Alien species humans are famous for prefering pacifism but being the most dangerous species when they are forced to fight.
EDIT:WOW THIS EXPLODED GUYS MY FIRST MAJOR PROMPT. | Humans are a galactic anomaly.
In the typical course of evolution, there are two possibilities; either carnivores become dominant, and are forced to evolve intelligence as they fight with one another over dwindling resources, or Herbivores manage to evolve rapidly enough to defend themselves from those carnivores. In ... | "Fucking humans are at it again." Said Prok as he dipped his proboscis into the fetus slaw before him.
"I see that." Replied Ghyd, his half wife. She shifted her earlobe and toenail salad listlessly. One of the earlobes still had a diamond earring in it. "Waiter! Someone in your kitchen isn't properly dejewelrying the... | 2016-03-13T21:24:24 | 2016-03-13T16:09:35 | 71 | 21 |
[WP] A secret prison locks away immortal, hard to kill creatures to be "disposed of" properly. The executioners are well versed in the methods and rituals to dismantle and destroy demons and vampires and even Unknowable Horrors, but today is the first time an Angel was brought in as a prisoner. | Anthony looked at the beaten, once beautiful creature tossed to the ground before him. Black soot covered its wings, one of which was clearly broken. Golden blood dripped silently on the floor. And two guards were looking at him, clearly happy with themselves.
He’d killed vampires before. He’d killed demons. He’d even... | They said we should wait for the priest, their so called "specialist" in these matters. They weren't going to get any real answers from a "man of God". Every priest, witch, shaman, everyone favored their beliefs as the one truth, even when solid proof of all of them existed.
I was almost an Agnostic. I believed mor... | 2021-03-09T16:51:51 | 2021-03-09T14:24:03 | 34 | 18 |
[WP] You, a seasoned warrior, are hardened to the point that you are incapable of feeling any emotion. Or so you thought. Today, you woke up to the faint meows of a tiny kitten outside your window. | Grallik woke instantly, grabbing for a sword which was not at his side. His eyes darted around his bedroom, and he slumped back into the mattress. He was safe. He was an inn, not a tent, there was no one in the room with him, and he wasn't at war. He looked around more slowly as his heart calmed to see what had wok... | The grey morning sun greets me as I open my eyes. Light hazes through the opening in my battle tent, and I can hear the clink of metal and the chatter of men outside. Sitting up, I stretch my arms, then throw my sore legs over the side of my cot. My feet meet mud, and there's dirt on my scarred body.
That's one consta... | 2021-04-16T20:52:45 | 2021-04-16T20:18:31 | 112 | 11 |
[WP] Super powers are common, but super heroes are rare. It turns out most people don't actually want to face death or dismemberment on a daily basis, including you. You enjoy the 9-5 and having a 401k, but my god that government recruiter won't take no for an answer. | “We’re offering you a decent pay, full benefits, and a fairly relaxed schedule. What’s not to love about the job?”
“The murder. The civilian casualties. The stupid fuck’n supe names.” I replied
The well dressed yet clearly disillusioned man sat up,“But that’s the thing. We’re offering you a very relaxed deal with fu... | "I have a stable job, a prosperous future ahead of me, and you want me to risk my life to kill some self-proclaimed villains to make you look good?" I didn't even try to hide my distaste for their idea. The people I was talking to right now were high government officials who specialized in recruiting "promising individ... | 2022-07-31T15:04:17 | 2022-07-31T12:24:21 | 215 | 141 |
[WP] Write a story that literally makes no sense while reading it until the very last sentence. | Pynffvsvrq vasbezngvba: Yriry Erq pyrnenapr erdhverq. Abirzore 22, 1963- Gur cerfvqrag unf fcrpvsvpnyyl erdhrfgrq gung n fcrpvny ohggba or vafgnyyrq ba uvf qrfx. Gur ohggba jura cerffrq jbhyq unir fgnss oevat uvz n Serfpn. Abirzore 24, 1963- Vafgnyyngvba pbzcyrgr.
Possible security concern- While reviewing the archive... | I am the most important person. I'm happy when I hear something from the outside world - talking, musik, anything. Then I know that I am not alone. It's always dark here, but warm. I know, that I have to leave this place soon, though I don't want to. They wait for me to come, they are very curious about me. The world r... | 2022-04-09T08:53:35 | 2015-01-12T18:17:13 | 88 | 10 |
[WP] I (23M, human) asked my Orc gf (22F) to stop deadlifting my familymembers when she comes over for the holidays because it made me look small and weak. Now she and the rest of the family keep forcing me to run laps and lift whole roasted hogs when I visit for orc holidays. AITA?
Saw this here and thought it was an... | Humans... Always getting cause and effect backwards. Might wanna look into orc history and culture if you wanna join the clan. 😂
Don't feel bad though, my elvish in-law was just as caught off guard. Once you realize what's going on, you'll probably cherish this time with your orc side of the family.
You see, you're ... | INFO: What, exactly, do you mean when it makes you feel small and weak?
I'll get this out of the way right now, if this is an emasculation thing, YTA twice over. One for making a stink over the fact that your girlfriend is stronger than you. If you need to feel like a big strong man and protect your dainty lady, do he... | 2022-10-18T14:09:38 | 2022-10-18T13:52:46 | 90 | 18 |
[WP] "No person shall be executed without their last meal made to their liking." The prisoners know this and make insane requests. You, as the chef for death row, somehow procure the otherworldly ingredients for their meals. | "A pepper so hot God himself could not eat it."
The pepper was inscribed with absolute ontological proof of God's non-existance and thus inability to eat anything
"A meal that leaves me content that I will get into heaven."
By a prisoner who saw the pepper. An angel descended from heaven and talked with him over th... | "It's always just been a knack really. I've always just been able to stumble upon what I've needed. You can ask any previous employer."
My interviewer gestured stiffly, so I took it as a sign to continue.
"Did some time aboard a fishing boat as a kid. Cap'n had his own method of organization. No one knew it. Hel... | 2020-02-19T10:49:43 | 2020-02-19T10:24:30 | 36 | 22 |
[WP]: A siren, not blessed with the mesmerising beauty of his sisters, must lure sailors into jumping into the water by challenging them to fight him. | "I collected nine souls yesterday," Peisinoe laughed, lounging on her rock. "How many did *you* collect, brother?"
Peisinoe and the rest of his sisters cackled at him, as per their weekly tradition. Glaucos scowled. No matter how many times in eternity he heard their ribbing, it never went down easy.
Glaucos was a... | "Captain!"
Abbotson looked up from his charts and blinked his eyes. How long had he been sitting there? The door to his cabin was thrown open and Abbotson leaned back in the bolted-down desk chair.
The Bosun stood there, his eyes wild and his chest heaving. Sweat or seawater drenched his face and hair. He was a large... | 2017-01-11T04:36:32 | 2017-01-11T04:29:48 | 57 | 12 |
[WP] You send your DNA off to discover your ancestry. One day you see several suspicious looking cars pull up outside your house. Military officers begin to surround your home and a woman gets out of one of the cars and walk straight to your front door. They have your DNA results. | Luna was sat down, the results of her dna test having been explained to her already. She waa frowning, trying to piece it together.
"That's impossible - there's no way it could be a perfect match," she explained to the woman and men in the suits before her. "For one, I have a vagina. Kinda need a Y chromosome to ha... | Her footsteps followed a precise rhythm, her heels never missing a beat on the cracked pavement. He tight, brunette bun coupled with a tailor-fitted suit told Aaron she was of high importance. The four armed guards surrounding her gave off that impression, too. She carried a black briefcase with a silver double helix e... | 2019-08-05T20:03:16 | 2019-08-05T18:13:14 | 49 | 33 |
[WP] A dyslexic child accidentally sends his Christmas letter to Satan. Satan is touched by this gesture and decides to write back. | Dear Paul,
Thank you for that lovely letter, I'm glad to hear you're waiting for me and prepared me an offering of cow udder excrement and a traditional mixture of sugar, flour and chocolates.
Although not what I usually get in offering I shall gladly accept. In return I enclose your Christmas wishes for this year... | Dear Timothy.
I've gotten the list of things you've asked for.
I assure you I am very capable of bringing your dog back. Just as well, I can stop the teasing and jeering of your elder sister.
I was informed as to what a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" is, and I believe I can acquire that as well.
However, I'm not cert... | 2018-10-28T10:18:04 | 2018-10-28T10:08:58 | 39 | 10 |
[WP] When two people get married, on the day of the wedding they are both given the ability to alter the appearance of their spouse to anything they wish. How do they change each other? How do they respond to what has been done to them? | Marriage, a truly incredible thing. Occasionally it was a truly horrid occasion, when one spouse is marrying for power. Occasionally it was a truly magical happening, when a marriage signified a bond of true love.
All of it boiled down to the changing. In the moments when the officiant said the words that made a coupl... | It should come as no surprise that, when two furries get married, they each wish for the other person to become their true fursona, their inner animal that radiates the strongest in them. So when I woke up the next morning on the first day of the honeymoon, my wife and I somehow literally having become one flesh as a f... | 2022-12-07T23:24:42 | 2022-12-07T22:07:24 | 128 | 29 |
[WP] It's 2022. Deep fakes are common, and nobody can prove pictures aren't faked. For the first time since the 90's, you can do what you want in public without worrying about being photographed. | "Your honor, my client Kate, also known by her street name Kitty, would like to contest that the video footage of her robbing this bank is doctored via a means called Deep Fake, and that she is innocent of these charges! We would like to put forward a motion that the charges be dismissed on these grounds!"
The judge l... | Used to a bad pic sealed your fate. Was a thing many did hate. Everyone had proof on why you might be late. But More fake pics came at an alarming rate. This was good for a girl named Kate.
Kate knew her way through her city, so when it came to crime she was wuite witty. She even had a streetname, she was the Kitty.
... | 2018-02-07T16:53:35 | 2018-02-07T15:02:21 | 242 | 36 |
[WP] When you die, a field of text appears in limbo, revealing the high scores of life, and your score. Your score is the top score. | "Congratulations! You just won The Game."
"Where am... w... what game?"
"EXACTLY! No one else lasted as long as you, NOT thinking about The Game. 95 years, 4 months, 22 days, 3 hours, 32 minutes and 9.11 seconds is the new record. What a lifetime!"
"Who the hell are you?"
"Gottlieb."
"...Gottlieb?"
"Call me God. ... | As the darkness slowly dissipating the words 'Congratulations You Got The Highest Score' appear before me once again. The hell. But I did everything wrong, no matter what I do. If I'm successful, get a good career, a wife and kid I win. If I murder an entire village I win. If I do nothing I win. Even after I killed mys... | 2016-06-08T13:24:02 | 2016-06-08T13:07:36 | 227 | 151 |
[WP] Based on her animal friends and singing longingly into the distance, you realize that your daughter is a Disney Protagonist. Per movie rules, you, a Disney Parent, will soon be out of the picture. | "Disney doesn't make movies set in mid-town American suburbia," I say, "We're fine." My voice betrays my nervous irritation.
Randy just stares back at me. "Linda, open your eyes," he says. He walks over to the kitchen window and points outside, "Look."
I walk over with forced exasperation, everything in my psyche tel... |
“There. She’s doing it again.” Lisa looked over my shoulder and frowned.
“Hmm?” I turned around and glanced back. I smiled and shook my head. “Oh, that. Don’t worry about that.”
“Don’t worry?” Lisa stared at me in horror. “Don’t WORRY?!? Don’t you realize what that means?”
“What?” I jerked a thumb at Sally. “Sh... | 2018-11-28T10:57:13 | 2018-11-28T10:47:07 | 219 | 71 |
[WP] you are an unremarkable person but with a great secret. years ago you were summoned to another world. now you have a family. one morning, you stare in shock and confusion at the tv as it shows the discovery of some ancient underground structure. it's your hideout from the other world. | "Dad, you're allowed to unpause that."
I stared at the tv, frozen for a moment, before obliging and rewinding.
'Preliminary research tells us this could be five thousand years old, at least!"
I could see the little details of the castle as the news reporter tromp through it. The little carvings of elephants that del... |
"Dad? Dad! You awake?"
Jim blinked at the shake to his arm and looked away from the television.
"Y-Yeah, of course. What's the matter?" Jim looked down over the unruly hair of his oldest son, now 10, into the piercing green eyes. Those eyes regarded him with a clear skepticism that went unvoiced.
"You said we were... | 2020-09-01T10:44:16 | 2020-09-01T10:43:14 | 142 | 76 |
[WP] A short Horror story. Something to chill the bones in one hundred words or less. | The surgeon pulled his mask up.
"Whole team's here. Everyone ready?"
Eight masked figure around the table appeared competent and prepared. A tray of gleaming, sharp instruments lay at hand. But something was wrong. I was not ready, I was paralyzed.
"I need everyone at the top of their game, we're going to be in... | In 1984, an oil painting was recovered from an abandoned house somewhere in Lousiana. Mahagony frame, weathered and neglected. No signature of the artist. Perhaps it was the work of the homeowner.
What was the painting of?
The upper torso of a brunette, eyes tightly closed, mouth hideously wide open, the background c... | 2015-06-09T07:38:48 | 2015-06-09T07:11:34 | 316 | 69 |
[WP] In an alternate timeline, dinosaurs in the Eastern hemisphere are wiped out by the cataclysm, but those in the Americas survive the fallout. Millions of years later, a crew of European explorers land on the shore of the New World...
My first idea for a writing prompt, please have fun with it! :)
edit: These st... | The lone survivor shipwrecked on the shore of Ireland miraculously. He was fevered and scurvied, his clothes were caked in dried blood. When doctor tended the wounds and sickness he just shook his head and said: "I doubt the bloke will last more than a few days." And the he sat up and started screaming and ranting a... | "What do you mean, domesticated people?" he asked again. Hernando looked back at the captain and said it once more, his voice cracking just as it had earlier. "Domesticated people."
"You mean slaves. You mean the fields you saw were full of slaves." Cristobol said this quit authoritatively. His crew were always ... | 2015-11-07T18:45:07 | 2015-11-07T16:35:21 | 35 | 14 |
[WP] “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do Mr Bond. I’m going to stick you in a spacesuit with a radio, and strap you into one of my cars. Then, while mankind watches, I’ll launch you into space. The last thing you’ll hear before leaving this earth forever, will be their applause.” | Bond heard the rockets ignite. Strapped into the car, the G-force drove him backwards into the seat, sending his cheeks tearing into his face. His lungs compressed, then almost collapsed, as his entire being shook.
All the while, he thought he could hear Musk's evil laugh.
He would not go out like this.
****
The ... | James Bond had pried a little too far, gathering enemies powerful, and not so powerful. This one, is a powerful enemy. Bond sat in the car as he listened to the radio. "Launching in sixty seconds." Bond sprang into action. He slipped one of the boots in the suit off his foot with a good shake, revealing the knife hidde... | 2018-02-06T20:25:30 | 2018-02-06T20:23:40 | 614 | 26 |
[WP] You are a world-class programmer who has died. God agrees to allow you in to Heaven on the condition that you work for him while he debugs the human body. Write the patch notes for the next version of humans. | **Changes**
* Removed appendix
* Removed wisdom teeth
* Fixed a bug that caused infants to die for no reason
* Patched a bug that caused certain people to lose hair prematurely
* Body now handles excess calories better.
* Improvement of smell. Now should be on par with dogs
* Patched the bug that caused blurry vision ... | Humans 2.0.1 - Stable Release
* Fixed occasional death caused by female pelvis/baby head ratio.
* Refactored DNA, removed "junk" left over from previous versions, roughly 1.5bn lines
* Merged a feature request getting rid of "alcohol poisoning"
* Reduced hormonal shifts during shedding of uterus lining, reducing unexp... | 2015-08-25T08:40:17 | 2015-08-25T08:27:50 | 292 | 47 |
[WP] Not far from your village is a small grove. Within the grove a monster dwells. It devours the guilty and leaves the innocent. When the worst crimes are committed, the accused are sent to face the creature. You have murdered someone in self-defense. You enter the grove unsure of your fate. | "Judgement!"
The voices of the villagers rose behind me. They sounded demented, their cries tinged with bloodlust. I shivered as I stepped through the trees. The light of the torches vanished behind me, and their cries softened.
Dread filled me as I stepped along the dirt path. I was sure that my actions were just. B... | Dekker didn't believe in trial by combat. What an absurd concept! But that hadn't stopped him cheering for blood on the grove's edge, while the condemned faced off against the terrible Spork. Noone knew exactly what Spork was, they just accepted that he was a monster that feasted upon guilty flesh. Some of Spork's verd... | 2021-03-16T11:59:31 | 2021-03-16T09:08:27 | 283 | 105 |
[WP] You're happily going about your day when you vanish in a cloud of smoke. Suddenly, you're standing in a ring of candles. A sorcerer holding a tome looks pleased at your arrival. Turns out Earth is Hell, we're the demons, and you've just been summoned. | "Naturally, it's your genetics and evolutionary upbringing that lead to such [TRANSLATION MISSING - Suggestion: sanity curdling bloodlust that all sentient lifeforms would cringe away from in existential horror] among your people." The device doing the translating, a slim piece of floating aluminium foil, by the looks ... | Just another day. That's how it started at least. I woke up around 4:30 pm and started getting ready for my night shift. This whole grown up adult job thing wasn't all it had cracked up to be. Twelve hour shifts in a cramped room dealing with all the idiots my city had to offer. I guess you could say it was like hell o... | 2017-05-12T07:53:52 | 2017-05-12T07:49:08 | 122 | 61 |
[WP]: "But the most curious thing is that humans don't have a mating season. They just act really weird all year round." | The room broke out in whispers as the Professor showed his class a video of human life. It contained moments captured from a whole year on the planet. Humans walking hand in hand. Humans hugging, kissing, mating. Simply spending time together, for no good apparent reason.
On the side of the screen were more monitors, ... | "That's ridiculous. Are you saying that they are ready to reproduce at any moment?"
"Yes, assuming the couple in question are reproductively healthy and of age."
"Oh right. *Couple*. I always forget that human mating is between only two individuals...that was weird enough. BUt now you're telling me that their reprodu... | 2016-10-01T12:39:21 | 2016-10-01T12:02:07 | 702 | 203 |
[WP] Write a superhero whose superpower only makes sense after you read the story twice. | I stood in the doorway of the hall leading to the stairs and pushed in that special way with my mind.
"HEY, YOU!" the leader of the robbers shouted, "I said *everybody* on the floor. Now get down or be PUT down!" Then I stopped pushing and he simply looked confused. "What the hell?"
"Where'd he go?" one of his cohor... | I stretched to warm myself up. I was getting old, a little tighter and a little less elastic than the days of my youth. Too many beatings, too many kicks to the head and brawls in darkened alleys. One of these days, I told myself, you’re going to have to give it up. I tried to steer my thoughts away from the negative, ... | 2014-12-07T10:32:00 | 2014-12-07T09:39:16 | 126 | 16 |
[WP] "So you're immortal?" "Yes." "But you wear armor." "It gets tiring pulling out everything that gets shot and stabbed into me." | "But does it hurt when you get shot?"
"Kinda, but I'm very used to it by now. People have been trying to kill me for thousands of years after all, in some ways it can almost be refreshing sometimes, like having a cold shower."
"So then is it really that big a big deal? Surely it won't take long for the armour to brea... | "That can't be the real reason."
"I do not seem to age. I get 'killed' I get snapped back to the same physical form I was when I gained my powers. But I am not impervious."
"Ahuh."
"Look have you ever cut yourself?"
"Yeah."
"You do try and avoid it right? Me I have had my neck snapped. Shot multiple times. I have ... | 2021-11-23T08:50:56 | 2021-11-23T08:50:32 | 66 | 24 |
[WP] "And that, class," concluded the professor, "is why humanity is the most peaceful, reasonable, cooperative, and overall docile species in all the universe. Any questions?" You, the only human in the classroom, raise your hand. | Professor Henzal was taken aback. "Yes, Eduard?"
"Professor, I have to take issue with your characterization."
"Oh, how so?"
"Once again, you're romanticizing my species. But I get it. We did... we used to do it too. That was before we ended up being conquered and largely wiped out ourselves. We weren't terrible in... | "Yes?" the professor asked.
"What about *them*?"
The professor looked at me, puzzled. "You seem to be gesturing to the rest of the class."
"I mean, I am. Gesturing to the rest of the class. They look just like me. If we had sex -- I mean, if they hadn't been given the treatment -- we could have children."
A brief m... | 2021-11-27T13:02:16 | 2021-11-27T11:23:52 | 61 | 16 |
[WP] You’re immortal. The only problem is, you’ve lived so long humanity died out and a new intelligent species evolved. Now you’re forced to live in the forest as a cryptid. | I do not speak their language. I never had the chance to learn. With their instinctive hostility to the outsider, I was driven away from their settlements as they grew from the cinders of human civilisation. Survival for me is simple; I only require blood to thrive. From where it is sourced, it matters not. Forest crea... | Sometimes I wish that I could actually die forever.
I've been "dead" a couple times and the first time coming back was a gift. The second time was disappointing because I was still alone. After that I didn't bother to clean up the mess and just started walking. I miss soo many people. I watched them one by one grow an... | 2022-11-26T20:40:07 | 2021-05-14T19:17:13 | 516 | 16 |
[WP] Germany is actually predestined to lose every world war it participates in. The sixteenth world war is now being fought, and Germany has taken over all of Europe. Make them lose the war in the most ridiculous way possible. | General Beck burst into the mess hall and swept his gaze across the startled soldiers. They had been drinking, celebrating the surrender of France, and the apparent end of the war. But they didn't know about the curse. Few but the inner circle did. Germany must fall.
The men quickly stood at attention, as well as the... | Click. Click. Snap!
“Vat vas zat Hans?” the general said.
Hans placed his head into his palms, bringing the screwdriver away from the screw. “I broke it.”
“Vat do you mean you broke it?” he looked into the war computer.
“Vell, vile I was tightening the screws on one of zee processors, zaa thread snapped, it’s stuck... | 2017-08-18T05:03:51 | 2017-08-17T22:40:39 | 1,294 | 343 |
[WP] In a spectacular "fuck you" to the world, Google and all of its branches (yes, even YouTube) shut down. Closed. For good. No warnings, no previous musings that it might happen. Tell me a story of how "day five" might be going. | Day 5: Google and YouTube have been down, and the whole world is starting to revert back to a primitive level. Arguments are being left unsettled, conversions are starting to get stale, I actually overheard a discussion on what the temperature might be,
'it feels like 22°"
"are you fucking nuts? It's clearly 25°plu... | Tim Cook woke up in the morning like any other day. After showering, trimming his stubble, and dowsing himself in cologne, he felt energized and ready to pump money out of more consumers.
He smiled, sitting down at his desk in Apple Park and firing up his iMac Pro. Almost immediately he clicked to open a saved link th... | 2017-06-16T18:27:33 | 2017-06-16T16:44:06 | 33 | 24 |
[WP] You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once. | People don't work for a villain if they don't like him. I for one always made sure of that.
Holidays. You bet your arse you'll be getting them.
Childbirth. You can bet I'm gonna be that weird but cool uncle.
Having an off day. Pool party.
My company is my home. And my profession is to be a villain. Rank C. Code na... | Look I'm a man who can handle many things...
Being listed by the World Villian League as 'Ridiculously D-Teir' because i don't personally feel the need to do more than rob banks and steal tech from labs was fair.
Having the Wrecking Crew be my assigned "Nemeses" was a hard pill to swallow but i got over it. Hell, i g... | 2022-11-29T08:53:21 | 2022-11-29T04:37:56 | 21 | 15 |
[WP] "Three wishes, you know the rules. let's get this over with, kid." "I wish for an indestructible journal" *snap* "done. Next?" "I wish for it to be bound to my being for all eternity." *snap* "And?" "I wish that any thing I write into it be made real." *snap* "THERE, NOW LEA- wait... what?" | “Hold on kid”
“I made my wish”
“SHUT UP I AM TRYING TO… GOT IT!” *snap*
“What was that?”
“You’re welcome.”
“Whatever weirdo, now I can… hey. What… why?”
“Indestructible journal kid. Nothing can compromise it’s integrity, including ink soaking in or lead pressing into it and making an impact or scraping from friction. ... | I was in my lamp like most days, when it finally began to shake. I burst out the dumb thing, but something felt off. Infrunt of me was what I think is a man. He had on a white comedy mask and a brown robe torn on all the edges. l could only see his hands and alittle above his ankles. All I could see of his hands and fe... | 2022-10-06T13:23:02 | 2022-10-06T12:47:57 | 31 | 10 |
[WP] The very last Google search, ever. | 'To google wher is mum and dad Love Jimmy'
'Google where are my mum and dad, They. havent come bake from Shhop'
'Mum Are yu there Im hungry'
'Gogloe'
'google map of Bris tol please'
'Google where is every 1'
'How to get pee za'
'Pizza'
'Muk Donalds'
'What is BAKED BEANS'
'Mum where are u and dad'
'How do i... | I meant it as a joke!
Really!
When the GoogleChatBot went online, I couldn't help but think of how Kirk handled errant computers in his time.
"Googlebot, compute Pi."
I had no idea ...
... that it would take every single Google server to process that request.
Google died that day and Bing-Orac rose from the ashes... | 2015-07-22T08:55:25 | 2015-07-22T08:31:35 | 16 | 11 |
[WP] Widely disliked by the rest of Hero's Heroic Party, they're surprised when you (ironically) heroically sacrificed yourself so that the day could be won. The only problem? You survived certain death. Now things are just awkward. | Magnum Onus had never been to a Wendy’s, nor by extension had he ever had a meeting at a Wendy’s and furthermore he had never expected he would be meeting with the most famous and perhaps strongest hero in the world at one. And yet, waving cheerfully at him three booths down, sat Lardasstronaut, the man who saved the w... | It had been a long day. A long week, actually.And Nahel was tired of everything... everyone.Everyone in the city had slowly given up hope since their performance at the first intention.
It was a disaster, and it had hardly gotten better since then. The last year had been a tug of war against the countless hordes of u... | 2022-08-12T08:20:44 | 2022-08-12T05:14:42 | 244 | 94 |
[WP] Your daughter is afraid of the dark. To help allay her fears, you started scolding the monsters hiding under her bed. As she grew older, she started doing this herself. One evening you’re laughing outside her door as she does so, that is until you hear a very gruff voice say I’m sorry. | I have to be hearing things. I *must* be hearing things.
My laugh dissipated into the air, like a frosty breath at the end of its brief life. I stood, stock still, straining my ears to hear for more.
The door creaked slightly open, and my feet instinctively slid back, a surprised yelp escaping from the back of my th... | “And I don’t want to see or hear you doing that again. I will be very angry if you do. Understand?” Her lisp was adorable, he thought, chuckling to himself as he leaned against the wall of his daughters bedroom.
“I’m sorry, Dotty. I am. I promise I’ll behave better.” The voice was gruff and slightly slurred.
Dan Jeff... | 2021-01-09T11:21:46 | 2021-01-09T11:11:22 | 75 | 24 |
[WP](NSFW) The world has moved on from nature documentaries, leaving many narrators out of a job. These men and women turn to a new field; narrating pornography.
Nature documentarists narrating porn. | “Ok, relax, you can do this” Darrell thought nervously.
He got comfortable in the booth and made his headset a little more snug. This was a situation he had been in a hundred times before. But today, the new content came in. The dryness in his mouth, coating his tongue, was a direct result of this….”New content.”
... |
Now, here's what I believe to be one of the most fascinating examples of recorded sexual behaviour amongst the human species. Look... do you see anything out of the ordinary? If you said no, you're absolutely right: the humans once used this structure as a kind of manufacturing centre, where perhaps nothing of a sexua... | 2015-04-08T14:39:02 | 2015-04-08T11:27:38 | 46 | 15 |
[WP] When a sorcerer dies any spells they cast throughout their life that are still in effect will cease to be. An powerful and ancient wizard whose origins are clouded in mystery lays comatose on his deathbed and nobody knows what will happen once he draws his final breath. | “Thank you, everyone, for everything. I’m so sorry.”
With that final whisper, the old man closed his eyes and passed away. The people gathered around him, a collection of relations and important figureheads, glanced around nervously.
“Why did he say sorry?!”
“Nothing seems to have changed! Maybe nothing will happen.... | I had just finished checking Marlock The Wise's vital signs: gradually declining, but seemingly stable for now. His palliative medication was dosing as prescribed, and his sheets were clean, and bedpan empty. He didn't have much longer, but at least he was comfortable.
Dr. Stephens entered, followed by three members o... | 2018-05-24T04:14:24 | 2018-05-24T04:05:25 | 19 | 12 |
[WP] God shares the cosmos with several other dieties. To pass the time they play Civilization like games for eons. God's frustrated that his civilization, Earth, is several ages behind all his friends. | Dexicon moved his cosmic fortress from Centauri B straight into Earth's orbit. Dexicon was able to do this in one turn thanks to the cosmic paving it had laid earlier. This allowed faster than light travel.
"Your move, God." Dexicon roared, knowing it had the ancient deity in its proverbial palm.
*Shit shit shit* th... | Different minds in different ages to further the development of man.
I, at first, wondered why they had advanced far further than I ever could, we weren't allowed to spy, of course - for that would be cheating. But with every century that passed us by, our scores, our achievements, our *everything* were tallied and r... | 2022-09-11T19:19:52 | 2016-04-09T06:40:06 | 1,980 | 347 |
[WP]You are one of thousands who received superpowers, you are the strongest out of all, to entertain yourself you have played the villain and let the less powerful keep you at bay. When real evil comes, you must work together and must convince the others you have been messing around the whole time.
Thought of an idea... | "And you think I'll believe you? After everything you've done?" It's a fair question. The entire nature of our relationship until now has been defined by my making up stories to lead her into insane situations and seemingly impossible odds, all in the name of entertainment. "You killed my husband..."
"Ahh, but I d... | “You’ll have to release me at one point,” jeered Crown, lips stretched into a jester smirk. “All of you, even with ALL of your powers and might and hope and de-ter-min-nation~” Crown let himself chuckle. “All of your souls and essence couldn’t hope, let alone cage, that great evil that’ll befall our home.”
“Our home?”... | 2018-02-11T16:47:42 | 2018-02-11T16:45:54 | 19 | 10 |
[WP] "Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped." "Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it." "No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars." | Humans. Always humans.
In truth there was nothing much remarkable about them. Like any other species they had strengths and weaknesses imparted by their unique physiology.
And yet...
Somehow it was always humans who ended up in impossible situations.
The first ones to successfully negotiate with a Kabra-Alhar? Hum... | Both Captain Zula and systems engineer Wuolloki stood in silence, contemplating the magnitude of what they had just said and heard.
"Bring me the human," the Captain ordered. Wuolloki saluted curtly, turned, and left the room.
Captain Zula was rubbing her head now. She moved over to her secret stash of alcohol, wonde... | 2020-07-14T00:07:06 | 2020-07-13T23:19:17 | 5,729 | 186 |
[WP] By Wizard Law, in order to learn a new skill, wizards are required to be apprenticed to a more experienced master. You, a barely trained journeyman fire mage, just took on an apprentice: a two-hundred-year-old Grandmaster Water Magic Lord. | "Aslon Engar Asgar" Mike incanted to create a fire vortex. There he was practicing his magic at the training grounds when he caught glimpse of the messenger frog. It was hoping along using magic circles leaving traces of animal magic slime along the way.
Once it made its way to Mike, a message appeared atop it's head.... | "Good morning Mr Dale. You are now my apprentice in fire magic"
"you forgot my title lad"
"No I am not, I am your teacher now, I might be a journeyman, but you are below me now, not a grandmaster. Call me teacher Watt"
"Grr.. ok fine, good morning teacher Watt"
"Great, now let's start with our first lesson. Tell me... | 2022-05-30T10:32:38 | 2022-05-30T10:15:54 | 57 | 26 |
[WP] You're a bartender at the No Way Inn. The inn doesn't appear to have an entrance, but patrons always seem to find a way inside. The best part of your day is listening to the story of how they got in.
Inspired by [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/wpjc02/oc_finally_finished_our_dd_room_after_2_years... | “…and the last thing I remember was being thrown out of my car, through the windshield at 75 miles per hour.” Another day, another crazy story in the lives of the customers of No Way Inn. Jake was used to these kinds of patrons coming from God knows where and getting in here by God knows how. One day it’s falling thr... | “And then suddenly the boy was gone and when I turned around,” the large Lumberjack said, turning to the man beside him at the bar. “I was here!” The other man nodded, a look of comprehension on his old wisened face. The bar, unusually quiet for a Friday night, sat only the two men at the bar and Peter.
“Something si... | 2022-08-16T15:58:32 | 2022-08-16T12:19:12 | 15 | 11 |
[WP] A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons attempt to use the game to subtly stage an intervention for one of the players. | *Ding.*
The hot pockets were done. Andrew pushed his chair back from the table, rose, and headed over to the microwave. While transferring them to the plate, he gasped suddenly. A hot pocket burn was one of the most common injuries for a DND player. He ran off to the bathroom for a bandage, and Marston groaned loudly... | *You wake suddenly, parched and disheveled, and sit up quickly to take in your surroundings. Dusk has just fallen, and the crescent moon illuminates a dense forest opening in front of you. Crickets chirp and owls hoot in the distance. What do you do?*
"Well, I see a small lake in front of me, so I will go drink from i... | 2016-04-08T10:55:13 | 2016-04-08T09:22:01 | 20 | 10 |
[WP] Describe the person you love the most so we can see him/her through your eyes. | I could caress your amber-grain colored curves.
Your beauty is timeless even with your flour patted bottom.
Although you hate your oily blemished skin, with every look I love you more.
The red circles on the surface of your skin does not deter me, it motivates me.
I can only love you so much, however. You complete ... | An insatiable vampire, preying on the emotions of the weak, and feeding from their life source. A noble heart trying to do the right thing amidst chaos.
A bipolar schizophrenic's soul ripped in two with voices constantly shouting at her.
I was the only one who could quiet the voices. I could see who she really was.... | 2014-09-06T12:23:42 | 2014-09-06T10:22:37 | 18 | 11 |
[WP] You are Cancer Man, a superhero with the power to induce malignant tumors in your enemies. 29 years into your job, you visit the hospice where the now terminally ill villains you defeated reside. | "They tell me you're the good guy."
Sam smiled at the nurse, that same smile that had been printed across the front page of newspapers everywhere. Wasn't quite as white, wasn't quite as big as it used to be. His name was Cancer Man then, not Sam.
"So I've been told," he joked but the self deprecating laugh died in hi... | The strangest thing about a hospice is the lack of sound. You would imagine that there would be beeps and buzzes like you hear in the hospital, but there are none. There is no clicking equipment, no coded messages over the intercom, no nursing staff rushing too and fro trying to complete their endless rounds.
People ... | 2015-02-24T15:19:06 | 2015-02-24T14:45:13 | 35 | 19 |
[WP] When people die they can choose whether they go to Heaven or Hell, you are the first in 1000 years to choose Hell. | Of course in hindsight everyone sees the merit of my decision. In the early days though, people kept asking me why I chose Hell over Heaven. My answer has always been three words: "Location, location, location"...
Before my ticket was up on earth, I came to a realization... If everyone choose Heaven, Heaven would even... | *Day 1*
*You know, with all the terrible people in the world, I expected Hell to be pretty occupied and automatically chosen. But I was shocked after my bad car accident to find a choice between Heaven and Hell in the Limbo Waiting Room. Everyone was lined up for Heavenly Stairway and the Hell Slide was seemingly aban... | 2018-08-13T09:48:32 | 2018-08-13T08:57:53 | 155 | 53 |
[WP] You're Morpheus, God of dreams. You're in charge of creating all dreams of all human beings. You were always high as a kite since birth, with only short moments of sobriety and clarity. But for the last few days, you've been completely sober and people start to notice. | “I had such a strange dream last night.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, it was really vivid as well. I still remember it pretty clearly.”
“So what happened in this exceptionally vivid dream of yours then?”
“I was at the office, giving a presentation in the big conference room downstairs...”
“And then you suddenly realised y... | A god doesn't get to choose why they're a god. Some gods like Dionysius lucked into the role of a lifetime. Gods like Hades received the short end of the stick. I count myself somewhere in-between. I'm Morpheus, God of Dreams, and I'm three days sober.
If it were my choice, I'd be the god of marijuana, because I know... | 2021-03-06T19:49:21 | 2021-03-06T18:16:10 | 162 | 52 |
[WP] Harry Potter is now based in Australia. All spells are based on Australian Slang. Hogwarts is in Kakadoo. Dragons are dropbears and Voldemort is a cunt.
Take it away! | "OI, YOU FUCKIN WOT MATE!?!"
"I. SAID. YOU'RE A BLOODY WIZARD YA NUMSKULL!!"
"OI WHAT??"
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE YA BLOODY BOGANBLOOD, YER A DAMN FUCKIN WIZARD!!!!"
"OI BOGAN PRIDE HERE MATE, U LOOKIN FOR A FIGHT OR WOT YER HAIRY GORILLA????"
"HAIRY GORILLA!!?? OH THATS FUCKIN IT YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!... | "You're a wizard, Bruce" said Bruce looking directly into Bruce's eyes.
"I'm a what?" the young boy said back, his eyes fixed on the giant of a man as he downed a can of Fosters in three gulps.
After wiping his dribbling mouth on his sleeve, Big Bruce threw the can into the unlit fireplace.
"You're a wizard you deaf ... | 2015-10-29T04:17:58 | 2015-10-29T04:12:18 | 158 | 46 |
[WP] Your significant other is possessed by a demon. Soon after; you realize you love the demon and not your SO anymore and it's actually mutual. Now the exorcist has arrived. | "Right then," the exorcist, a man in a black suit with a white clerical collar said as he walked in the door, closing it behind him, "Where is it?"
"What?" Ian said.
"Where is the demon? I was summoned here to perform an exorcism."
He looked at Ian a while, who remained silent, before eventually turning to Alex, wh... | Arthur knocked on the door, and waited.
This case was right up his alley. Woman reported a sudden change of personality on her husband, started seeing lights around the house and was sure she heard the man speaking tongues. She was worried he had been replaced , and wanted an investigator to come take a look.
Of co... | 2017-10-10T02:15:25 | 2017-10-09T15:40:03 | 32 | 23 |
[WP] It's 3 AM. An official phone alert wakes you up. It says "DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON". You have hundreds of notifications. Hundreds of random numbers are sending "It's a beautiful night tonight. Look outside." | I wake up to the sound of a familiar jingle coming from my phone. Groaning I turn over and turn it on. But then something grabs my interest, an official text, like the amber alerts you get sometimes, saying DO. NOT. LOOK.AT. THE. MOON. My screen then suddenly bursts up with hundreds of text messages saying the same thi... | I wake to the sound of my phone vibrating so fast I'm afraid it'll fall of my nightstand. I groggily my phone before it falls and turn it on to see the words "DO NOT LOOK AT THE MOON" in bright letters illuminated by the official nationwide alert backdrop. The vibrations refuse to stop. Hundreds of texts are rolling in... | 2022-06-27T10:58:59 | 2018-04-06T19:08:10 | 103 | 11 |
[WP] In a world where elemental magic affinity manifests on your 18th birthday, you and your family have always assumed yours would be water since you love waterfalls, lakes, rivers, etc. But when your time came, nothing manifested. And people are starting to get worried. | When I was 8 years old my parents took me to see Niagra Falls. It was magnificent; truly breathtaking. The flow of the water changed so drastically, but was always the same at that point in the falls. That's when my mild interest bloomed into a healthy obsession.
In middle school I started researching not just the bo... | Finding out an affinity is the most important day in a person's life, right after being born of course, and maybe marriage, and the birth of a kid, and perhaps death, or the death of your own parents. But it's right up there in the top ten or so. Fire was, for the longest time, the coolest, but a bunch of X-Men movies ... | 2019-09-16T11:00:21 | 2019-09-16T10:58:22 | 49 | 23 |
[WP] You see the Grim Reaper and ask if it's your time. Death checks a clipboard and says "Nope. Looks like you're not due for another... three thousand, one hundred and forty-one years? That's weird. Also, how can you see me?" | Just another person in the crowd, the man in the long black over-coat moved behind the rotund man talking on his phone. In stark contrast to the fat-man's tottering, he seemed to glide as his coat lifted softly at the edges. Shadows lined his face bordered by long hanging hair not stirred by the breeze.
The screech o... | As a nurse I had seen way too much weird things in the hospital. But when I saw the sharply dressed man with a name tag in his chest poking the body of a woman in the morgue, then I was sure I had seen it all.
"Excuse me?" I asked hoping he would stop poking the woman.
He seemed to ignore me as he focused in the clip... | 2020-01-24T12:09:05 | 2020-01-24T11:48:58 | 508 | 86 |
[WP] "Do not hang up. This is not a wrong number. We have your loved one. To see them again, get the package on your doorstep and open it. Put on the mask. Grab your choice of weapon. Go to the house address written on the note card. Kill them all." | The doorbell rang.
I started counting- 1... 2... 3...
When I reached 10, I got up form the sofa and went to the door. There were two large boxes outside. I wanted to scream in rage but I kept my head and pulled the wooden boxes inside.
I opened the small one first and took out my son. He was tied up with nylon rope ... | Tiffany was doing the cooking for her children when the phone rang. Tiffany's husband was at work, *she thought*. She approached the phone slowly, staring at it. She reached for the phone and grabbed it.
*"Do not hang up. This is not a wro..."*
"Wait, what? Who are you?" Tiffany interrupted the low pitched voice behi... | 2015-01-26T09:45:53 | 2015-01-26T09:26:21 | 37 | 13 |
[WP] We expected the Earthlings to react with outrage and despair when we killed their leaders, destroyed their economies, and took over their governments—but to our surprise they seemed almost relieved. | So... naturally people were pissed when the aliens said we would be slaves, but they wiped out our entire chain of command. Nobody was left to coordinate our resistance and it wasn't like they were out roaming the streets.
​
Then the drones started flying around everywhere scanning people, and the work ord... | When we took over, we expected resistance. And we got it, but only for a short time. When we had killed the leaders, and taken over, they almost seemed relieved. There were some who fought, of course, but most welcomed us. We expected resistance, especially from the younger ones, but none came. The most known for fight... | 2020-10-10T20:57:50 | 2020-10-10T20:36:53 | 3,129 | 203 |
[WP] In a world where Nordic mythology is the dominant religion Marvel comics made a superhero who is a God from Christian mythology called Jesus Christ. | ‘Where did they go?’ The barracks were empty, just as the mess hall had been. ‘It looks like they just dropped everything and left. How many soldiers are stationed here? ’
‘Around 500. But you cannot really call them soldiers. These are the most highly trained Airforce paratroopers around. You need about 20 of them to... | Jake and Doug are walking to the cinema to see the premiere of the new high-budget Marvel film titled "Jesus".
"Hey, Doug. You excited about the movie?" asks Jake.
"Yeah, I'm shaking," replies Doug, sarcastically. "You know me, not really into superhero flicks. You insisted we see this crap."
"This one is diff... | 2016-11-01T07:09:00 | 2016-11-01T06:59:21 | 19 | 10 |
[WP] The bombs stopped falling. Slowly, you opened the bunker's door. You did not expect what you saw. Make it as scary as possible. Now, take this story and tell it to a five year old without frightening him/ her. | Hey, *hey*, tch. What’d I say about going near the windows?
See the sun? We call that ‘twilight’. Can you say that with me? ‘Twilight’.
What happens during twilight? That’s right, we can’t go near the windows, okay, buddy? If I lost you I don’t know what I’d do. It’s just you and me out here, you got it?
Yes, that’s... | My muscles tensed in anticipation of the explosions. As the whistling sound grew in intensity I knew the moment had arrived. We held hands and prayed while the children slept through their fiery pending deaths.
*SQUONKA SQUONKA*
What the hell?! The sound continued, sometimes close by, then farther away, but o... | 2015-05-11T04:44:38 | 2015-05-11T03:25:56 | 413 | 61 |
[WP] “You’re not allowed to die, okay?” She makes you promise, tears still flowing down her face. That was 200 years ago now. You don’t know what she did but your promise still holds strong. | Here’s the little story that spawned this prompt!
It’s 1692 - the height of the witch hunts. They never really bothered me, living way out on this farm, miles from the village. I just tended my sheep, looked after Candice (my cow), and relaxed with Sam (best friend a man could ask in a dog)
It was a normal day like ... | Ben rose from the grave. He felt pain, but the tears stopped flowing years ago. They stopped after he lost everyone he loved and knew. And it all stemmed from his daughter's last day on earth.
-----------
"You're not allowed to die, okay daddy? You can't. You have to take care of Laura. I know she's married and all, ... | 2018-01-05T13:45:13 | 2018-01-05T12:14:21 | 78 | 49 |
[WP] You are possessed by a demon. It doesn't control you, but it does mention it's just there because it doesn't want to go back to hell. | "Are you kidding me? No! No! No!"
Fred heard the voice in his head and mentally groaned. Moloch, or the thing that called itself Moloch anyway, was surprisingly shrill when he wanted to be.
"Fred, no. Don't you dare do it. I'll help you think up some awesome revenge on that bitch. Remember, I'm all evil and stuff so ... | The slow hiss in his ear sounded distant at first. It sounded like somebody left a tea kettle on the stove too long. That was impossible though, Tim didn't have a tea kettle. Tim also lived alone. The hissing stopped. Pop!
Tim's eyes shot open, but he was unable to move. It wasn't that he was paralyzed with fear... | 2016-07-21T20:15:20 | 2016-07-21T17:56:29 | 62 | 13 |
[WP] "You... you, did all of this... for a pun?" | “Punnen! Punnen it burns!” his wife screamed in agony. The sores had begun to cover her face...the same sores that had plagued him for the last couple of weeks.
Punnen kept his eyes on his work. Doing his best to drown out the intruding sound, he continued pruning back the overgrowth in his prized garden. It was h... | "Oh dear, you are making food tonight?" Ino asked as she arrived home from work.
"Yes, today is a special occasion," Thomas responded with a grin.
"Oh? What is it?" Ino wondered, she walked behind Thomas and put her hands around him, kissing his ears.
"I have something to tell you. You'll find out soon, I am almost ... | 2018-02-05T07:14:32 | 2018-02-05T06:41:53 | 663 | 114 |
[WP] The Islamic State is wiped out by a totally unexpected country in a totally unexpected way. | "The international community hereby charges you with War Crimes committed during the defeat of the so-called Islamic State. On your orders, a brutal campaign of destruction, fear and even forced conversions were taken place. Even civilians were not exempt. It says here that several mosques were torn down, often with pe... | American efforts against ISIS had failed. ISIS had toppled local governments and taken them over. Claiming most of the Middle East. Many countries themselves had made agreements with ISIS in order to try to secure themselves so that they would not be toppled as well.
America was the last to stay in the fight, but Amer... | 2016-01-29T10:18:49 | 2016-01-29T06:44:06 | 389 | 25 |
[WP] You can teleport your SO anywhere instantly, and your SO can do the same for you. One day you get in an arguement. | "Where is she?"
Its been four days since I've seen my wife. And I'm worried sick. Not the "I hope she didnt get into an accident" kinda sick. But I would describe it more of an "I hope this isn't going to be the end of our relationship" kinda sick.
​
I sit down on the couch in our living room and look ar... | The frigid air stabbed with each breath. My feet were quickly growing numb in the icy snow. We glared at each other as we both shivered intensely. Several Sherpas and their clients passed us by, looking at us strangely, like they couldn't understand why a young couple would be standing in bathing suits near the summit ... | 2019-03-23T09:09:52 | 2019-03-23T07:06:48 | 199 | 70 |
[WP] Where do bad guys get their legions of goons? Well, it's all thanks to you. You specialize in supplying grunts of a wide variety to aspiring super villains, whether they need masked men with bad aim or hideous/sexy merfolk to guard their underwater lair. | “Thank you for calling ‘Mercs, Thugs and Goons, Inc.’ my name is Lateesha, how can we help today.”
“Hi, my name is Doom, The Deathbringer, and I was hoping to hire a few…”
“I’m sorry hun, can you please spell that name for me?
“Doom! D-O-O-M; Deathbringer as the last name!”
“Thanks sugar, and how can we help you t... | “Hello. Thank you for calling Delinquents for Miscreants. They do the crime, you'll avoid the time. How can we help you today?”
“Yes, I'm looking for at least a dozen of your delinquents for an upcoming act of crime I'm about to commit.”
“What kind of delinquent are you in need of”
“I'm pretty open to whatever I can... | 2017-03-23T09:59:46 | 2017-03-23T08:00:19 | 30 | 10 |
[WP] You wake up in Hell. You look around, you can't see anybody, it's just fire and brimstone going on forever. Eventually the Devil walks over and says "Finally, you're the first to arrive, so tell me, who are you? what did you do? and how did you die?" | I come to, remembering the delirium of my last days with perfect clarity. But my body doesn't ache. For the first time in months, there's no nausea, no exhaustion, no pain. It's confusing for a moment.
But only a moment, because then it hits me. Where I am. Fire and brimstone, rivers of blood, darkness, et cetera... | I blinked, and I blinked again. Never in all my existence have I perceived a place such as this. It was the deepest black you could imagine, it was as though the world was covered in a stifling black tar that sucked the light out of your very eye sockets. Yet, I could see, I could *perceive* at least, the fires, black ... | 2015-04-09T11:30:16 | 2015-04-09T10:44:44 | 32 | 21 |
[WP]As Pride Month nears it's end, the other six members of the Seven Deadly Sins begin to wonder when they'll get months dedicated to them. Pride, meanwhile, is just trying to get them to understand that he's not actually the focus of Pride Month. | "Go on, look. See, I told you, a whole month, all for me. And furthermore, have you seen the parades they hold for me?" Pride beamed at his 'followers' as he looked over them from his penthouse suite. He was staying there to observe his month of focus, a truly remarkable act from these humans. With him were the other 6... | There was one diner they all liked. A small thing with a cute devil head and neon sign out front. They all sat together in a corner of the place, a booth with a circular couch and table.
"Hey, Lust, how're the kids doing?" Greed leaned in and dug into a burger, juice dripping from his fingers.
Lust fingered the air a... | 2022-11-14T01:26:23 | 2019-06-23T09:02:04 | 42 | 13 |
[WP] While wrestling around on the ground with your girlfriend, you accidentally roll over onto your USB cord and it pierces into your back. You reach around to pull it out, your girlfriend screams and points at the computer where a small window says "New Drive (Q:) Recognized" | “I really don’t think we should be messing-”
“Hush,” she said without paying attention. She was busy reading. Q Drive had petabytes of data on everything from his life imaginable. It could be sorted chronologically, socially, or in order of importance. The last two were too vague to be useful, so she had set it on ch... | This is my first time writing one, so here goes...
***
By chance, I was carelessly wresting with my girlfriend. Due to my meager body build, I would always be the one on the bottom. In one swift motion, Angie threw me onto the ground. As I tried to roll up, she tackled me back down and wrapped her arms around me, putti... | 2018-03-02T23:39:56 | 2018-03-02T19:07:35 | 42 | 13 |
[WP] There is a 2-4 week window in which the sun lies between Earth and Mars, making communication impossible. Thirteen months after the first Mars colony is established, one planet decides to pull the greatest prank in human history. | James woke up feeling unnaturally happy. He didn't expect the lack of comms to hit him so hard, but being the only person on a planet without any form of communication had gotten to him.
Regardless. Today was the day. He could finally communicate with the world again.
He got up, showering and preparing his morning c... | Commander Anuj Bilel, COM director on MarStat001, paced the 20 foot expanse of the radio room. His rhythmic footfalls were the only sounds in the room save for the hush of static emanating from the speakers. Another 60 seconds and the Interplanetary Silence (I.S.) would come to a close. The colony had followed operatio... | 2016-10-17T13:34:15 | 2016-10-17T12:33:44 | 348 | 21 |
[WP] You're Barack Obama. 4 months into your retirement, you awake to find a letter with no return address on your bedside table. It reads "I hope you've had a chance to relax Barack...but pack your bags and call the number below. It's time to start the real job." Signed simply, "JFK." | "I have to think rationally about this", Barack thought to himself. He closed his and began to think.
I'm on the third story. There are 2 secret service agents on each floor. Could someone have sneaked past them? No, they would have undoubtedly stepped on Joe's train sets and alerted the agents. That meant that the ag... | I knew exactly what that letter meant on the bedside table.
"Michelle!", I yelled. "Emergency, Emergency! Lay back!"
We laid back down on our bed and the straps automatically held us down. I thought of the scene in 'The Goonies' when they slide down to the pirate ship. But, I had no idea where our tunnel would lead. W... | 2017-05-14T10:01:37 | 2017-05-14T07:51:14 | 17 | 12 |
[WP] An asteroid is about to destroy Earth, The Onion reported the news without losing their sense of humor. | US Congress: "It's about time we did something about climate change"
JUST IN: Escape spaceship that everybody but you was invited onto just left Earth's atmosphere like a second ago
Donald Trump's DNA preserved underground as perfect specimen of "a piece of shit"
Blockbuster Video cancels "7 movies for 7 dollars for... | "Asteroid kills last of the endangered African Tigers...also all of humanity."
It's been our pleasure writing for you...mostly. Actually, we found our general demographic to be far more cognitively impaired than expected. Perhaps the hyperevolved cockroach people will develop a satirical news agency to address that ... | 2015-04-30T02:35:00 | 2015-04-29T23:33:26 | 34 | 10 |
[WP] "I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THIS ANY LONGER" "But Your Majesty, the prophe-" "You want me to send a GODDAMN TEENAGER TO FIGHT WHEN WE HAVE TRAINED SOLDIERS" | "You want me to send... a child. A literal, actual, child?" The king shook his head. "My predecessor may have been fond of child soldiers, master prophet, but I am not."
"But surely, surely you cannot allow the entire kingdom to fall? The prophecy-"
"DAMN THE PROPHECY! We walked away from that cursed place, we chose ... | "Look... I know she sounds crazy. But she made a sword that can cut through armor with nothing but some rocks and a furnace. She knows things that our best alchemists don't. Something called 'molecules' and much more elements than the five"
The Queen looked down on the Supervisor and seemed deep in thought. He was dre... | 2022-10-28T15:24:51 | 2022-10-28T13:53:27 | 127 | 11 |
[WP] Heaven is segregated by cause of death. All heart attacks together, all shark attacks together, etc. You die and appear in a nearly empty room. A tired old man looks up at you and says "Finally! Someone else! It's been ages!" | “Finally! Someone else! It’s been ages!” Cried the slouching old man, hands raised to the skies, “Thank the gods! Op- not for how you died, of course.”
Stumbling back on the soft dirt of the expansive, lush green valley, Michael could only gape in utter disbelief. One minute he’s been walking along a popular hiking tr... | "W-Who, Who are you?! Where am I?"
The man grumbles something about young people these days. Then replies "Don't you know?"
Puzzled, I look around. The room was rather bland, a severe contrast to my bedroom. I look out a small window, the only in the room, to see nothing.
"No?.."
"Heaven, Kid, it's not what ya th... | 2021-11-24T12:25:38 | 2021-11-24T12:07:50 | 1,290 | 126 |
[WP] Aliens invade Earth. Turns out Human weapons technology is way more advanced than it should be. | Mankind.
__
For countless Millennia we have warred.
Peace being a brief respite from the routine of war.
Always pushing one another, further and further, building bigger and better weapons.
Our ventures into space a mere by-product of our advancement of war, a result of competiton between rival superpowers.
Our e... | December 15^th , 2035. Izvir X12 Invasion Fleet, Aldebaran III High Orbit.
"These scums bumbling about in their planet, knowing not of their true fate. We must bring them Enlightenment--Purification. Soon stone and fire shall rain upon their puny huts and tents and we shall revel in our conquest as their scream record... | 2018-05-16T16:23:34 | 2018-05-16T14:20:05 | 105 | 55 |
[WP] A single dad of two girls is a nighttime superhero. Sometimes though, he forgets to take out the braids in his hair, or wash off the nail polish, and some of the supervillains are getting suspicious...
| "Stop Villain! In the name of Justice, stop!" The superhero shot across the sky, closely pursuing his larcenous foe.
"Oh shut up, Mr Justice! That schtick is getting old!" Villain, his foe, panted as he twisted and turned, vainly attempting to shake his pursuer.
"Never! I will balance the Scales of Jus...eh? Where ... | "Nail Polish...?" Ruel jeered as he glanced at the hands around his throat, "Do explain."
"You are in no position to argue Ruel! I hold all of the power. You know that I am more powerful. I guess your own invention worked against you! Now I am the only one with superpowers. Your days of evil are no more!" Utah replie... | 2016-10-30T10:14:02 | 2016-10-30T08:56:22 | 328 | 19 |
[WP] Turns out wishing on a star does work, it just takes about 81,000 years for the wish to get to the star and back, and for the future civilisations of earth, its pure chaos.
Thanks for the amazing story responses on this. ❤️ | **BAD DAY**
"I wish that a Terminator Robot would go back in time on a mission to assassinate Daniel Powter before he could write "Bad Day," Frankie told the star. Frankie's roommate, Ruel had been playing "Bad Day" on repeat play, six hours per day, for the past two weeks and one day. That's aggravating under norma... | "Not very creative, that one." Sarah whispered to her holoscreen. It blinked feebly in response briefly filling the room with its soft blue light before plunging her back into darkness. She sighed wearily and rose from her chair, brushing a cake of dirt off of the ancient window in the corner of her room. Before the Dy... | 2022-12-08T21:49:33 | 2022-12-08T21:23:24 | 102 | 17 |
[WP] Your friend tells you he can't get past the captcha screen that prevents robots from proceeding. As you watch him, you realize that the reason he can't is because he actually is a robot. | She peered, then, like a schoolchild, carefully typed in the letters on the screen, one index finger jabbing each key.
Failure.
Another set of characters on the screen. She glared, examined them carefully, typed, double-checked the work, then hit enter.
Failure. Again.
She glared at the screen again. The human reac... | I turned to look at him, noting his perfectly rhythmic breathing. His eyes moving across the screen in a perfectly synchronized pattern, like he had been trained to do this. His eyes turned to me, and then his head followed, less than a second later.
"Thomas, I Cannot Fathom Why It Is You Look At Me In Such A Way. Mi... | 2017-01-26T17:39:21 | 2017-01-26T16:31:57 | 56 | 39 |
[WP] You have just let loose a string of vulgarities so potent that the patron saint of cursing has decided to personally pay you a visit to tell you to calm down. | It was a hot and humid day in Washington. My car had a dent and no note left behind. Traffic was awful. My boss bitching at me again. The phones ringing along with the awfully ineffective ceiling fan. Then along comes this absolute bitch. And I snapped.
The managers all looked at me with fear, slowly shuffling towards... | My heart rate finally started to subside. My blood no longer felt like it was boiling in my veins. The guilt and self loathing that usually accompanies outbursts like the one I hurled at a total stranger on the internet began to swell in my head like a high tide on a full moon. I pushed my chair away from my computer d... | 2016-07-23T09:26:45 | 2016-07-23T09:10:15 | 104 | 13 |
[WP] An Eldritch Moon suddenly appears in the sky, and you and billions others scream as you turn into horribly corrupted mounds of flesh... But your eyesight is better? And your back pains are gone? And apparently you’re immortal now so... Maybe things aren’t that bad... | I no longer remember my old name or who I once was. We no longer need such concepts, since the fleshmountain extends from sea to sea, rising out of the blood red waves and encompassing all life that once was so separate and destitute in its separation.
Now an eldritch harmony plucks the strings of my muscles day by da... | # Soulmage
**The moonlight here was deadly, but we'd come prepared.** As we stepped out of the safety of the dark and ancient cave, the five of us unfurled umbrellas as black as midnight to enhance our layers of heavy, lightproof clothing.
Something that had once been grass squelched and splashed under my thick boot... | 2022-10-23T15:33:56 | 2022-10-23T11:59:30 | 78 | 40 |
[WP]You are one of thousands who received superpowers, you are the strongest out of all, to entertain yourself you have played the villain and let the less powerful keep you at bay. When real evil comes, you must work together and must convince the others you have been messing around the whole time.
Thought of an idea... | Poisonous black clouds roiled across the Pacific. Ships from all the world’s navies surrounded “The Site”, as it had become known. The impact of the asteroid had destroyed an island and sent the word into a panic. Astronomers had been on the fence on if it would be a world ending event until two days before it hit. The... | "You must believe me guys!" screamed the Evil Dr. Evil at his screen "I was just messing with you! I'm not evil, just decided that I should spice things up!"
On the other side there was Archangel, the golden-winged hero, doubting his remarks.
"So, you are trying to tell us that everything that you have done was just... | 2018-02-11T12:50:40 | 2018-02-11T12:35:45 | 275 | 98 |
[WP] Nicolas Cage is completely unaware that he is an actor. All he knows is strange men with cameras follow him around while he gets into crazy situations and money shows up randomly in his bank account.
Obligatory "wow this blew up!" edit. | Day 13984:
They've found me again. I thought I'd take some of my friends on a nice treasure hunt to get away from those damn cameras, but no. Not even in the Arctic Circle can I escape them. So not only do we all have to deal with this freezing weather, but there's also these idiots with the cameras. I'll keep you ... | "What do you mean I have to pay taxes on my income?" Cage howled at the clerk through the security glass.
"Sir, please calm down" she replied scowling. Pushing up her cat's eye glasses she patronized the emphatic Nicholas Cage "sir, you have to pay taxes on the income you make for acting in movies. That is why we have... | 2015-11-28T13:14:26 | 2015-11-28T12:37:58 | 102 | 74 |
[WP]Death Eaters win The battle of Hogwarts killing all opposition and breaking a one thousand year old truce between muggles and wizards. Lord Voldemort must now face the full might of the United Kingdoms' military. | **Not really UK or military, but oh well.**
*They say that fiction is often based on fact.
It was in the early 80's when the muggles had one of the biggest technological breakthroughs seen in their history. It was simultaneously one of their biggest secrets...*
Beads of sweat appeared on Voldemort's face, glisteni... | Malfoy's lungs were burning. He'd been running through the forest for an hour now, trying to escape the menace of the red faeries. The faeries had first stuck as soon as they left Hogwarts. Buoyed up by the victory over the school and the order of the Phoenix, no-one had noticed the red faeries dancing until it was to... | 2014-10-12T03:37:00 | 2014-10-12T01:08:51 | 135 | 42 |
[WP] All of the "#1 Dad" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly. | It was 5:30 this morning when I woke up to the typical sound of my neighbors arguing over something. They always had some feud between them - who had the bigger truck, the greener lawn, the children with the highest grades... It was exhausting living between them, never involved in their madness yet always right in the... | "Ya know... i don't know, really... i guess it was just all the pressure was too much for him... i understand it a little now as a parent myself... you just... well you want to do right by your kids, right? But like... you never really know, ya know?"
"Well yeah... the interviews, magazine features... i don't think he... | 2017-06-11T09:50:25 | 2017-06-11T08:28:06 | 222 | 17 |
[WP] Humanity has invented the technology required to reach other dimensions. However, instead of finding an incomprehensible Lovecraftian realm, they discover a perfect and beautiful world. To the inhabitants of this new world though, we are monstrous eldritch horrors. | Kk-Ktaahthk shuddered at the descriptions given by his fellow hunters to their chieftain, never having heard of anything so terrifying and unimaginable, and he wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it for himself. His brood mate had gone ahead to track the path of the horned takka they were stalking for dinner, ... | The door slowly opened. News coverage at every corner, companies already sending out bland messages congratulating the team.
The Nullifiuer was built in 3.5 years and even longer planning it. Eric Dunce stood tall as the head of the team. His blonde hair waved in the wind. He tapped on the mic as the door opened.
I... | 2020-12-22T22:02:30 | 2020-12-22T17:03:39 | 36 | 11 |
[WP] It turns out humanity was the first, and only spacefaring species to master the atom. After a horrific galactic war, humanity had to bring out its nuclear weapons, to the shock and horror of the rest of the galaxy. | "Please leave us alone" they said. "don't force us to use our strongest weapons". "save your species" they cried.
We laughed. Their perspective on warfare was that a bigger gun is always a stronger gun, and that might have held some truth, if their kinetic weaponry would be able to deal any damage at all to our energy... | Log 13024B \[Encounter 3042, How it started\]
Lieutenant: Exoplanet #41BX3S4, this is a very mineral rich planet, only inhabited by unsophisticated Combustion Energy beings.
Commodore: Yes, Lieutenant, permission to take over.
Lieutenant: Should we do our tradition of contacting them one last time before they are en... | 2019-12-19T07:46:24 | 2019-12-19T04:59:08 | 28 | 17 |
[WP] Every person in the world undergoes a "goodness" test. It's designed to give a score from 1 to 200, where 1 is pure evil, and 200 is an angel in human body. Then the world is divided into 200 zones, where people can live among their own kind. | "This is what you get! Think you're better than us? Think you can just wall us up in the desert?"
Gunfire echoed through Zone 200. *Gunfire.* How could this happen here? The only people with weapons like that should be the border guards! But here they were, running rampant through the city.
Some of us fought bac... | I've heard stories of how, long ago, people of all types were allowed to live together, a place where people with a goodness score of 1 were allowed to live in the same places as people with goodness scores of 200.
Of course, this world stopped existing after a team of scientist invented the perfect way to test someo... | 2016-08-26T12:52:13 | 2016-08-26T10:59:35 | 54 | 18 |
[WP] It finally happened. The day Santa dreaded. He has to deliver presents to the first kid to be born on mars. | Nic turned and surveyed his night’s work in the Henderson household. A chemistry set for the little girl? Check. Hobby horse for the Henderson’s youngest boy? Check. A sprinkle of deep-sleep dust over Mr. and Mrs. Henderson, guaranteeing them the deep rest of three nights sleep in the space of five hours? Check; perhap... | "Ho! Ho! Ho! Yes, *that's* what I sound like! These humans and their silly notions, Bernard. All the things I have had to keep up with over the years!" Santa was sullen, speaking with a dreary voice. Elf Bernard, the chief of his work force was sitting stoutly on the high stool across Santa's table, his face bearing an... | 2017-11-24T18:38:30 | 2017-11-24T16:08:34 | 133 | 30 |
[WP] Your superpower is precisely and accurately measuring things without equipment. How do you use it to fight crime/take over the world?
You can tell that something weighs 155 mg just by holding it, or that a noise is 74 dB just by listening to it. You can immediately know it's 84.1 °F outside without a thermometer,... | (Kind of a cheat, but here we go!)
"How the hell did you get in here?" Dr. Hatred asked the man dressed in a 'Cool Runnings' t-shirt and jeans. The man was smiling, a sort of odd smile like he knew something that the other didn't.
"How did you get past my security?" The Doctor asked
"You mean your 143 guards? Or y... | "Firefighters are on scene, but have yet to move in to douse the flames. Authorities are holding them back until they can determine whether or not there are more explosives in the facility. We've received word that all employees are accounted for. Miraculously, despite some serious injuries, no one was killed in the... | 2016-06-11T00:37:43 | 2016-06-10T23:31:49 | 106 | 22 |
[WP] On everyone's 18th birthday at noon, one word appears in their skin, depicting their career or purpose in life. On your birthday you're staring at a clock showing 11:59am, family and friends gathered around for your reveal.
Path 1: Noon strikes, and you stare at your forearm intently. 12:01, still nothing appears... | I'd always done well at school. Literally a straight-A student.
Perfect grades, the whole nine yards.
I'd gone to college, completed the courses before I was 16, and was enrolled in a prestigious and very expensive university in London by the time I was 17.
And because of this, the expectations were so high. My fami... | I couldn't believe it. I would have never guessed it. I had so much potential. Everyone thought I would be a doctor, a lawyer, or maybe even an astronaut. I always dreamed of being someone famous. A musician, an athlete, a movie star. But according to some fucking ink, I'm neither. All my friends got good ones. Even Je... | 2017-03-16T02:40:17 | 2017-03-16T00:50:02 | 52 | 15 |
[FF] In 75 words or fewer, write about experiencing a devastating loss, without including death. | The mirror hadn't been cleaned. She sighed and began scrubbing. When she had finished, she made her way towards the kitchen and heard snippets of conversation.
"Your grandmammy... Her Alzheimer's is getting worse. She's not the nice old lady you used to know..."
She wondered who they were talking about for a moment b... | I loved my father, he had a heart of gold.
I remember when he took us Disneyland, fighting tooth and nail for the cheapest tickets.
I remember when he helped train me for football, taking days off of work just to be with me.
I remember when he joined the Army, and I trained him.
I remember when he could remember.... | 2014-10-19T18:33:46 | 2014-10-19T18:24:17 | 254 | 123 |
[WP] Eminem has to tell the history of the earth to a group of aliens in 5 minuets or less.
**EDIT** I'm sorry; I spelled it wrong, it should be "in 5 minutes or less" not "in 5 minuets or less". | Quiet down Martians, let me tell you a little tale,
About my home planet, here's the detail:
A big ball of molten rock like deep fried Metallica,
Got gassed up like it's high off indica,
But don't fear, that was just the atmosphere,
But let me steer, the story a few billion years,
Where shit started popping off,
... | You say to me why should you save me after you faze me with your stun gun
I don't want none, but listen son, cause I'm about to school you
with what I knew would one day come to free me, it's easy, the history of these cities
See, we evolved from nothing to what you see here
Ugly as sin chimps without any hair
... | 2016-11-30T10:48:23 | 2016-11-30T10:35:41 | 2,428 | 55 |
[WP] "Name your desire, mortal!" "Oh I don't want anything I was just checking if the summoning portal worked." "That's not how it works, I can't go home until I trade a wish for your soul." "Looks like we're stuck together then." | Kyle Jenkins was an ordinary man with ordinary desires. On Sundays, like all Sundays, he took a trip to his favorite coffee shop, where the baristas knew him by name. Like all ordinary men, he ordered a medium latte, and took a seat at his favorite table. Kyle perused the coffee shop, smiled at the regulars, and gazed ... | Karl stared with wide eyes. He massaged the bald spot on his head. "Well, then. I guess you're just going to have to stay here a while then."
The big, gangly fellow with the goat skull and red skin the color of a bum rash, snorted. "You summoned me here and you have the audacity to ignore me? Name your desire. It can ... | 2017-04-13T08:09:02 | 2017-04-13T04:05:17 | 34 | 14 |
[WP] Everyone has powers. You have the power to heal. Everyone expects you to be a great sidekick, or an excellent doctor, but you are a horrible, sinister villain. | I knelt over him, my face grim yet full of satisfaction. The 12 inch blade protruded from his stomach, spilling his blood. I struck his face with an open palm. “You’re ruining my floor.” I snarled. “Do you want to hand it over?” His eyes weakly drifted towards me. _”K-kill... me...”_ I chuckled. “I’m afraid I can’t do ... | ”Why did you want me to be a superhero?”
”You heal people! How useful can that possibly be to you in a life of crime?”
”Very.”
The goody-two-shoes hero hadn't seen the bright glow illuminate nearly one thousand minions. Some die each time, but heroes are awfully messy.
”You’re trapped.”
”By what? I defeated all of y... | 2020-09-17T20:04:10 | 2020-09-17T18:32:29 | 49 | 32 |
[WP] When you were four, you made a childish wish upon a star. Twenty five years later - without warning - the star finally gets around to granting your request.
My daughter, for example, always wishes to become a mermaid. I think it would be amazing if that happened during the middle of a business meeting. | It took nearly 12.5 years for my wish to reach Luyten's star. I don't remember the teacher's name, but I have a faded recollection of being told that radio waves travel at the speed of light. It was just preschool, and it wasn't the same as 2 plus 2 or ROYGBIV, but that little piece of knowledge meant something to me. ... | "MOMMY! MOMMY! A SHOOTING STAR! I WISH FOR A MILLION SPARKLY STICKERS!"
(Current time)
"Your Vanilla-Frappe! Have a nice day!" The girl behind the counter excitedly took of her apron and clocked out. On her way home she thought of all the things she would do on her work-free weekend. As the girl closed in to her apa... | 2015-08-26T10:37:46 | 2015-08-26T10:16:41 | 63 | 18 |
[WP]Death gets another name on his list. Excitedly, he opens up his scroll and finds your name. His excitement quickly turns into dread... | As death, I generally enjoyed my job. To be honest I had a bed reputation, people thought I just took the lives of their loved ones indiscriminately and remorselessly. That’s not the case however, my job was to sort out those whose balance was to close to call, meaning if they weren’t good enough to go to heaven but we... | Death was a busy man. But he loved his job. After all, there was nothing sweeter than death.
Death didn't kill them. He was just there to collect. Take the souls and place them in the appropriate place. Every single day, a scroll dropped by his house. It has been so for eternity, yet it didn't matter. Every new list m... | 2020-02-27T11:21:39 | 2020-02-27T11:11:10 | 24 | 12 |
[WP] You’re an immortal 30-year-old-looking serial killer who was sentenced to 1,000 years in prison. After 100 years people started asking questions, but now it’s been 400 years and you’re starting to outlast the prison itself. | The funny thing about humans, is that they are just so innately curious. You tell a human not to go see what is in the next valley over, and they’ll do it. I’m not an exception to that, I mean, legally I’m not human, I can thank the Hague for deciding on that front. Of course, they decided that after the whole Sarajevo... | "Uh, neat. Uncle Iroh would be proud of me"
That's your first thought when looking at your chiselled body through the reflection in the glass shard deeply impaled in that strange human-like thing's neck.
"Been a while since the raiders came to say hi.
Keep the children safe Matisse - you say, while looking at the pi... | 2020-08-17T03:12:05 | 2020-08-17T02:06:05 | 99 | 68 |
[WP] Write a story that's been heavily censored. The censorship tells us more than the actual writing. | It's *wonderful* here. I want to *stay*. I've been trying to *stay* here *and* every attempt I've made has *succeeded*. There are *caregivers* everywhere. They look normal, *and* they *are*. They are not *different*. They are *humans*. They're all insanely *nice*. Everyone here is subject to their *assistance*, or *be... | Dear Diary
Today is June 21, 2006. [Heavy scribbling]! Her name is [Heavy scribbling]! I was eating at [Heavy scribbling] when I looked across the dining room and saw [heavy scribbling]. [More scribbling] the soup [Scribbling] I had [Scribbling] was everything I[Scribbling]t[Scribbling]. Could [scribble] be [Heavy scr... | 2015-01-18T11:35:07 | 2015-01-18T11:29:40 | 1,003 | 10 |
[WP] Write about a famous historical event as if it was played out as a DnD session | DM: "Alright Jesus, you've just been executed by the Romans, Roll a death save."
Jesus: \*rolls\* "Natural 20."
DM: "Alright you wake up with 1 hp, what do you do?"
Jesus: "Alright I'm gonna play possum"
DM: "Roll a deception check"
Jesus: \*rolls\* Ok that's another 20, plus my charisma modifier which is \+5 so 2... | “I sneak up behind my target, aim my derringer at his head, and pull the trigger”
“Roll a d20 twice against your agility and once against your dexterity”
A 5
A 17
D 12
“You successfully sneak up on your target and shot him in the head. However you chose a poor spot to hide while shooting and get spotted ... | 2018-05-29T09:31:25 | 2018-05-29T09:28:35 | 210 | 39 |
[WP] You are the greatest Supervillain in the world and you've always wondered why the heroes yell out their attacks. Well, out of curiosity, you try it out with your weakest attack and suddenly break a hole through your evil lair. | I was pooping when it happened.
I hadn't even realized it would qualify as an attack as I tried to shake the booger off, but a random urge came over me as my mucus clung steadfast to my finger. "Pick, roll and flick!" I shouted then flicked the tiny snot ball towards the trash can beside the toilet.
It took me severa... | "Smallfly, witness this power!"
Smallfly, who, despite his name, had been genetically engineered to be twenty times larger and smarter than an average fly, buzzed a bit into his translator.
*I see it, Dr. Growth.*
"This is my true power, locked away until after my greatest triumph! I have appeased the gods, Smallfl... | 2018-08-08T12:15:59 | 2018-08-08T08:11:41 | 176 | 51 |
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