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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A radio conversation of a US naval \nship with Canadian authorities ... \n\nAmericans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a\ncollision.\n\nCanadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to \navoid a collision.\n\nAmericans: This is the Captain of a US N...
0.094
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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees. \"Yes, sir,\" the new recruit replied. \"Well, then, that makes everything just fine...\" the boss went on. \"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.\"", "role": "ass...
0.25
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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a\nyoung engineer fresh out of Stanford,\n\n\"And what starting salary were you looking for?\"\n\nThe engineer said, \"In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending\non the benefits package.\"\n\nThe interviewer said, \"Well...
0.594
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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "There once was a man and a woman that both got in a terrible car wreck. Both of their vehicles \nwere completely destroyed, buy fortunately, no one was hurt. In thankfulness, the woman said to the \nman, 'We are both okay, so we should celebrate. I have a bottle of wine in my car, let's ...
0.594
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Two Rednecks were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady\nseated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was\nturning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.\nOne said to the other, \"That gal there is having a bad time!\" \nThe other agreed and said \"Think ...
1.125
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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students,\npointing out some of the rules:\n\n\"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students\nand the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking\nthis rule will be finded $20 the first time.\" He continued,...
1.125
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[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the\nsteps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom\nof the steps, he says to the honor guardsman, \"These are genuine\nArkansas Razor-Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for\nHillary.\" \n\nThe guar...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender,\n\"Hey, I got this great Polish Joke...\" \n\nThe barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice:\n\"Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both\nbouncers are Polish and so are most of my customer...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, \"...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and s...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Judy was having trouble with her computer, so she called Tony, the computer guy, over to her desk. Tony clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, \"So, what was wrong?\" And he replied, \"It was an ID Ten T Error.\" A puzzled expression ran rio...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded\nby a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he\nsays quietly to himself, \"Oh God, I'm screwed.\" \n\nThe sky darkens and a voice booms out, \"No, you are NOT\nscrewed. Pick up that stone at your feet and ba...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said,\n\"Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married\nto the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and\nher name is Susan.\"\nAfter dinner, William's dad took him aside. \"Son, I have to talk\nwith you. Your...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A Panda bear walks into a bar. Sits down at a table and orders a beer \nand a double cheeseburger. After he is finished eating, he pulls out a gun\nand rips the place with gunfire. Patrons scatter and dive under chairs and\ntables as the bear runs out the door. After ensuring that no one is hu...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "What a woman says:\n\n\"This place is a mess! C'mon,\nYou and I need to clean up,\nYour stuff is lying on the floor and\nyou'll have no clothes to wear,\nif we don't do laundry right now!\"\n\nWhat a man hears:\n\nblah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon\nblah, blah, blah, blah, you and I\nblah, blah, blah,...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, \"Religion?\" \nThe man says, \"Methodist.\" St. Peter looks down his list, and says, \n\"Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.\" \n\nAnother man arrives at the gates of heaven. \"Religion?\"\n\"Baptist.\" \"Go to room 18, but be...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, \"Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on th...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "When most people claim to be \"killing time\", it's only an expression. When Chuck Norris kills time, the minutes actually cease to exist.", "role": "assistant" } ]
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An old Scotsmen is sitting with a younger Scottish gentleman and says the boy. \n\"Ah, lad look out that window. You see that stone wall there, I built it with\nme own bare hands, placed every stone meself. But do they call me MacGregor the\nwall builder? No! \n\nHe Takes a few sips of his beer t...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": " President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see\n one of his aides nervously approach him. \n \"What is it?\" exclaims the President. \n\"It's this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do\n about it?\" the aide replies. \n\"Just go ahead and pay it.\" responds the P...
1.125
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along\nand hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived\nat the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to\nhis precious BMW. \n\"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!\", he whined....
1.218
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "This guys wife asks, \"Honey if I died would you remarry?\" and he replies,\n\"Well, after a considerable period of grieving, we all need\ncompanionship, I guess I would.\"\n\nShe then asks, \"If I died and you remarried, would she live in this\nhouse?\" and he replies, \"We've spent a lot of time...
1.218
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception\ncommittee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any\nof the myriad of recreations available.\nHe decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the\nHoly Scriptures, so he spends the next...
1.218
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A little boy goes to his dad and asks, \"What is politics?\" His dad says, \"Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of you...
1.218
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man, recently completing a routine physical examination receives a\nphone call from his doctor. The doctor says, \"I have some good news and\nsome bad news.\" The man says, \"OK, give me the good news first.\" The\ndoctor says, \"The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.\" The man\nreplie...
1.906
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, \"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?\" \"Why?\" \"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
4.218
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.\n\n\"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.\" \n\"But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.\" \n\"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.\" \n\"One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me,\...
6.281
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. \"I've got good news and bad news,\" the owner replied. \"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told hi...
6.562
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "As a pre-med student, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, \"Why do we have to learn this stuff?\" \"To save lives.\" The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A fe...
6.968
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "(A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (C) The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than th...
7.875
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
7.906
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q: What did the blind person say when given some matzah?\n\nA: Who the hell wrote this?\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.031
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. \"I'm free, I'm free!\" he shouted. \"So what?\" said a little girl. \"I'm four.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.156
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q.\tWhat's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? \nA.\tSlash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.687
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the\nheight of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders\nand tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping\nthe tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.\nAn engineer comes along and sees what they're try...
9.687
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An Asian man goes into a New York CityBank to exchange 10,000 yen for\nAmerican Currency. The teller gives him $72.00. The next month the\nAsian man goes into the same bank with 10,000 yen and receives $62.00.\nHe asks, \"How come? Only $62.00?\" The teller says \"Fluctuations-\nFluctuations!\"\...
9.781
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Two men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the\nman or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then\ninterrupts: \n\"Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your \nlittle finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward,\nwhich feel...
9.844
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Hillary, Bill Clinton and the Pope are sitting together on an airplane.\n\nBill says \"I could throw one thousand dollar bill out of this plane and\nmake one person very happy.\"\n\nHillary says \"I could throw 10 hundred dollar bills out of the plane and\nmake 10 people very happy.\"\n\nThe Pope ...
9.844
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the\npossible designers of the human body. \nOne said, \"It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.\" \nAnother said, \"No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical\nconnections.\...
9.844
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? \nThe spread eagle.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.844
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?\nA: They were both upset when Bill finished first.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.844
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a\nfortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering\ninto a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.\n\"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare\nyourself to be a widow. Your husband ...
9.875
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous \nwoman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. \nThey were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism \n(zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them.\n\nAfter several minutes of puzzling over how ...
9.875
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses prese...
9.906
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. \"What the heck did you do that for?!\" the man screams. \"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?\" The man says, \"No I don't...
9.906
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers he has wandered off course and\nis hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man\ndown on the ground. He lowers the balloon further and shouts \"Excuse me,\ncan you tell me where I am?\"\n\nThe man below says: \"Yes, you're in a hot a...
10.031
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, \"Ah, you''re an engineer--you're in the wrong place.\" So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts de...
10.062
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Out in the backwoods of some midwestern state, little Johnny arrives\nat school an hour late.\n\nTeacher: \"Why are you so late, John?\"\nJohny : \"My big brother got shot in the ass.\"\n(the teacher corrects his speech)\nTeacher: \"Rectum.\"\nJohnny : \"Wrecked him!? Hell, It damn near killed him...
10.156
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Nurse: Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room! Doctor: Well, go in there and tell him that I can't see him!", "role": "assistant" } ]
14.906
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "They asked the Japanese visitor if they have elections in his\ncountry. \n\"Every Morning\" he answers.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
16.687
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "What's the difference between a used tire and 365 used condoms?\n\nOne's a Goodyear, the other's a great year.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
17.094
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram. He fills out a form on which he\nwrites down the telegram he wishes to send: \"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow.\"\n\nThe clerk says, \"You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price.\"\n\nThe dog responded, \"Now wouldn't that sound ...
17.375
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Two kindergarten girls were talking outside: one said, \"You\nwon't believe what I saw on the patio yesterday--a condom!\"\n\nThe second girl asked, \"What's a patio?\"\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
17.375
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower? \nShredded tweet.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
17.812
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q: What is the Australian word for a boomerang that won't\n come back? \n\nA: A stick\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
18.437
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q: If a person who speaks three languages is called \"tri-lingual,\" and\na person who speaks two languages is called \"bi-lingual,\" what do call\na person who only speaks one language?\n\nA: American! \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
18.625
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist says\n\"Would you like me to stick that on your bill?\"\nThe duck says: \n\"What kind of duck do you think I am!\"\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
18.687
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? \n\nOne...men will screw anything. \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
18.937
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "What's the difference between a MacIntosh and an\nEtch-A-Sketch? \n\nYou don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen. \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.062
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.187
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? \n\nA. He sold his soul to Santa.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.187
1
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
[ { "content": "Q. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? \n\nA. A carrot.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.562
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "They asked the Japanese visitor if they have elections in his\ncountry. \n\"Every Morning\" he answers.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
0
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous \nwoman. The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants. \nThey were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism \n(zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them.\n\nAfter several minutes of puzzling over how ...
0
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, \"Father, I'm 80 years\nold, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight\nattendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.\"\n\nThe priest said: \"Well, my son, when was the last time you were in\ncon...
0
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "An old Scotsmen is sitting with a younger Scottish gentleman and says the boy. \n\"Ah, lad look out that window. You see that stone wall there, I built it with\nme own bare hands, placed every stone meself. But do they call me MacGregor the\nwall builder? No! \n\nHe Takes a few sips of his beer t...
0.032
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender,\n\"Hey, I got this great Polish Joke...\" \n\nThe barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice:\n\"Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both\nbouncers are Polish and so are most of my customer...
0.094
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What's the difference between a used tire and 365 used condoms?\n\nOne's a Goodyear, the other's a great year.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
0.094
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A mechanical, electrical and a software engineer from Microsoft were\ndriving through the desert when the car broke down. The mechanical\nengineer said \"It seems to be a problem with the fuel injection system,\nwhy don't we pop the hood and I'll take a look at it.\" To which the\nelectrical engin...
0.126
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the\nsteps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms. At the bottom\nof the steps, he says to the honor guardsman, \"These are genuine\nArkansas Razor-Back Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for\nHillary.\" \n\nThe guar...
0.157
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? \n\nOne...men will screw anything. \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
0.282
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A radio conversation of a US naval \nship with Canadian authorities ... \n\nAmericans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a\ncollision.\n\nCanadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to \navoid a collision.\n\nAmericans: This is the Captain of a US N...
0.376
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? \n\nA. He sold his soul to Santa.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
0.407
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The graduate with a Science degree asks, \"Why does it work?\"\nThe graduate with an Engineering degree asks, \"How does it work?\"\nThe graduate with an Accounting degree Asks, \"How much will it cost?\" \nThe graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, \"Do you want fries \nwith that?\"\n", ...
0.657
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said,\n\"Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married\nto the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and\nher name is Susan.\"\nAfter dinner, William's dad took him aside. \"Son, I have to talk\nwith you. Your...
1.938
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": " President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see\n one of his aides nervously approach him. \n \"What is it?\" exclaims the President. \n\"It's this Abortion Bill Mr. President, what do you want to do\n about it?\" the aide replies. \n\"Just go ahead and pay it.\" responds the P...
4.438
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded\nby a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he\nsays quietly to himself, \"Oh God, I'm screwed.\" \n\nThe sky darkens and a voice booms out, \"No, you are NOT\nscrewed. Pick up that stone at your feet and ba...
4.813
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the\npossible designers of the human body. \nOne said, \"It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.\" \nAnother said, \"No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical\nconnections.\...
4.969
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students,\npointing out some of the rules:\n\n\"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students\nand the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking\nthis rule will be finded $20 the first time.\" He continued,...
5.157
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the\nheight of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders\nand tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping\nthe tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.\nAn engineer comes along and sees what they're try...
5.188
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What a woman says:\n\n\"This place is a mess! C'mon,\nYou and I need to clean up,\nYour stuff is lying on the floor and\nyou'll have no clothes to wear,\nif we don't do laundry right now!\"\n\nWhat a man hears:\n\nblah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon\nblah, blah, blah, blah, you and I\nblah, blah, blah,...
6
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? \n\nA. A carrot.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.219
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Two Rednecks were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady\nseated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was\nturning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.\nOne said to the other, \"That gal there is having a bad time!\" \nThe other agreed and said \"Think ...
6.25
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Plumber? \nA: A Plumber works to unclog the system.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.813
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q: What did the blind person say when given some matzah?\n\nA: Who the hell wrote this?\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
9.532
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "An Asian man goes into a New York CityBank to exchange 10,000 yen for\nAmerican Currency. The teller gives him $72.00. The next month the\nAsian man goes into the same bank with 10,000 yen and receives $62.00.\nHe asks, \"How come? Only $62.00?\" The teller says \"Fluctuations-\nFluctuations!\"\...
10.25
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a\nfortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering\ninto a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.\n\"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare\nyourself to be a widow. Your husband ...
10.719
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along\nand hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived\nat the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to\nhis precious BMW. \n\"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!\", he whined....
12.063
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram. He fills out a form on which he\nwrites down the telegram he wishes to send: \"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow.\"\n\nThe clerk says, \"You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price.\"\n\nThe dog responded, \"Now wouldn't that sound ...
12.626
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, \"Religion?\" \nThe man says, \"Methodist.\" St. Peter looks down his list, and says, \n\"Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.\" \n\nAnother man arrives at the gates of heaven. \"Religion?\"\n\"Baptist.\" \"Go to room 18, but be...
14.188
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception\ncommittee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any\nof the myriad of recreations available.\nHe decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the\nHoly Scriptures, so he spends the next...
14.25
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "This guys wife asks, \"Honey if I died would you remarry?\" and he replies,\n\"Well, after a considerable period of grieving, we all need\ncompanionship, I guess I would.\"\n\nShe then asks, \"If I died and you remarried, would she live in this\nhouse?\" and he replies, \"We've spent a lot of time...
14.938
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What's the difference between a MacIntosh and an\nEtch-A-Sketch? \n\nYou don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen. \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.063
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q: If a person who speaks three languages is called \"tri-lingual,\" and\na person who speaks two languages is called \"bi-lingual,\" what do call\na person who only speaks one language?\n\nA: American! \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.5
2
[ { "content": "How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?\nThat's not funny.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Q.\tWhat's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? \nA.\tSlash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
19.626
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. \"I'm free, I'm free!\" he shouted. \"So what?\" said a little girl. \"I'm four.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
0.906
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "\"May I take your order?\" the waiter asked. \n\n\"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?\" \n\n\"Nothing special sir,\" he replied. \"We just tell them straight out\nthat they're going to die.\"\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
1.188
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "What is the difference between men and women:\n\n\nA woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.\nA man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
1.25
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "They asked the Japanese visitor if they have elections in his\ncountry. \n\"Every Morning\" he answers.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
3.281
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "What's the difference between a MacIntosh and an\nEtch-A-Sketch? \n\nYou don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen. \n", "role": "assistant" } ]
8.094
3
[ { "content": "A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, \"My friend is dead! What can I do?\" The oper...
[ { "content": "Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? \n\nA. He sold his soul to Santa.\n", "role": "assistant" } ]
8.469
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