jokeText stringlengths 101 655 | userId int64 1 25 | score float32 -1.34 1.02 |
|---|---|---|
Why did the executive grow a beard?
Because he was so good at his job, they had to shave him to make him look more approachable! | 1 | -0.527061 |
Why did the chef decide to serve kohlrabi in a spiral?
Because he heard kohlrabi was the new 'kohl-snail'! | 1 | -1.065341 |
Why did the jar of peanut butter send an overdue notice?
Because he forgot to pay his spoonful of peanut butter back in '92! | 1 | -1.167724 |
Why did the deaf activist choose a peaceful protest?
It's a silent protest, they say "May the force be with you" in sign language! | 1 | -0.603692 |
Why did the voter bring a first-aid kit to the polling station?
Because he heard it was a great way to 'bleed' for your beliefs! | 1 | -1.344204 |
Have you heard about the new holistic treatment that uses containers to heal?
I guess they call it 'Container-Meridian Therapy' now! | 2 | 0.573256 |
Why did the musician set off fireworks during his concert?
Because he was trying to create the world's first 'symphony of pyrotechnics'! | 2 | 0.25243 |
Why did the publishing company start a new department for memes?
They finally realized that the best way to increase sales was to start a 'sub-department' for 'memes'! | 2 | 0.69965 |
Who was the eccentric inventor who revolutionized the world of personal hygiene with his invention of the bidet?
Because he wanted to revolutionize the world of 'bottom's up'! | 2 | 0.355643 |
Why did the pantologist start a comedy career?
Because he found his calling in 'sole-ful' expression! | 2 | 0.122661 |
Why did the banker end up in court?
Because he was found guilty of having too much interest! | 3 | -0.440009 |
What's the Wild West's favorite coffee shop?
Turns out, the Wild West needed a place to unwind, too! | 3 | -0.328797 |
Associations for cottage:
- rural
- thatched roof
- countryside
- garden
- idyllic
- quaint
Associations for proceedings:
- court
- trial
- lawsuit
- legal
- judge
- jury
Pairings:
- rural + lawsuit
- thatched roof + jury
- idyllic + judge
Chosen pairing wi... | 3 | -0.780357 |
Why did the mathematician climb a skyscraper with a ladder and a ruler?
Because he wanted to find the height of pi using a ruler and a ladder! | 3 | -0.504329 |
Why did the man run into a bakery with hiccups?
Because he thought he'd finally found a way to cure his hiccups with a whiff of freshly baked cookies! | 3 | -0.62243 |
Why did the fashion-forward peasant decide to wash her new tunic in the laundry room?
Because she wanted to see if her new tunic could shrink-to-fit in the laundry room! | 4 | -0.108938 |
Why did the woman go to the makeup counter with a knife?
Because she wanted to give her face a fierce 'make-up'! | 4 | -0.361584 |
Why did the ghost call a sound engineer?
Turns out, ghosts can't stand the sound of their own silence! | 4 | -0.334935 |
Why did the polite person always have a smile on their face?
Because he was a tooth-pick-er upper! | 4 | -0.493374 |
Why did User 4's confirmation keep multiplying?
Because User 4's confirmation kept branching into a whole forest of questions! | 4 | -0.192995 |
Why did the mouse apply for a job?
Because he heard there was a position open for a 'Paw-tner'! | 5 | 0.937442 |
Why did the collard green run away from the doctor's office?
Turns out, the collard greens were just trying to get a head start on the biopsy! | 5 | 0.753203 |
Why did the security guard at the ski resort try to lead the skiers with a baton?
Because he was trying to conduct the traffic with a baton, but it kept getting stuck in the snow! | 5 | 0.794355 |
Why did the falling object decide to carry a light bulb?
Because he was trying to find a way to make a 'bright' exit! | 5 | 1.021705 |
Why did the nonbeliever join the gun club?
He's an atheist, but he's got faith in his Glock! | 5 | 0.587971 |
Why did the director decide to expand the Matrix?
Because he wanted to create a new 'extended' version of the Matrix! | 6 | 0.461536 |
Have you checked the electronics section today?
Even the smartwatch is in stock, it must be the end of the world! | 6 | 0.563463 |
Did you hear about the waterfall in the Amazon that couldn't handle its crushes?
They finally found a waterfall in South America that couldn't even handle a little 'fall in love'! | 6 | 0.686117 |
Why did the bureaucrat start a mariachi band in Mexico?
Because he finally found a use for the mariachi band's sheet music as paperwork! | 6 | 0.350148 |
Why was the man so excited about Christmas this year?
Because every year, he was tired of getting socks and decided to ask for ham instead! | 6 | 0.361807 |
Why did the grouper become a freelancer?
Because he wanted to be his own boss fish! | 7 | 0.642652 |
Why did he write his favor on a letter? Because he was so kind, he even signed his favor with his autograph! | 7 | -0.119041 |
Associations for bias:
- discrimination
- prejudice
- stereotypes
- unfairness
Associations for eyelashes:
- mascara
- false eyelashes
- blink
- eyelid
Pairings:
- discrimination + mascara
- prejudice + false eyelashes
- stereotypes + blink
Chosen pairing with explanation:... | 7 | 0.316301 |
Ever wondered what a beta version of a luncheonette looks like?
Now serving the 'beta-lunch' special! | 7 | 0.026402 |
Why did the baker wear a loaf of bread on his head?
Turns out, he was just a very passionate baker! | 7 | 0.104259 |
Why did the patient bring a hot plate to the doctor's office? I asked the doctor for a prescription for a hot meal, but he said I needed to microwave my own diagnosis! | 8 | -0.615306 |
Why did they decide to run a marathon during wartime?
So they decided to sign a 'Peace Treaty'-athon! | 8 | -0.544829 |
Why did the gas have a craving for chips?
Because he was trying to find the perfect 'gas station' snack! | 8 | -0.297489 |
Why was the pregnant woman smoking a joint in the delivery room?
Because she was due any day, but the baby was already high on expectations! | 8 | -0.44963 |
Why did they invite a toaster to the comedy show?
Because they heard he could make a toaster laugh! | 8 | -0.291519 |
Why was the athlete training in the basement every night?
Turns out, he was just practicing for the Underground High Jump! | 9 | 0.0497 |
Why did the believer open a savings account at the Vatican Bank?
Because he heard it was the best way to invest in 'heavenly' bonds! | 9 | -0.156328 |
Why did the Formula 1 driver start wearing a bib during races?
He's just trying to keep his suit clean for his next diaper change! | 9 | 0.228095 |
Why did the manipulator get a job at Krispy Kreme?
Because he was so good at his job, he could make even a doughnut believe it was a croissant! | 9 | 0.091266 |
Why did the headlight feel pressured during the full moon night?
Because apparently, the moon doesn't have a 'dark mode'! | 9 | -0.372084 |
Why did the stock broker take a bite out of his portfolio? I heard the stock market finally developed a taste for investors! | 10 | -0.709871 |
Why did the water move to Canada?
Because in Canada, the water's so pure, it even builds dams! | 10 | -0.663194 |
Why did the debtor decide to redecorate his home with a new shag carpet?
Because he finally found a way to 'carpet' his debt! | 10 | -0.525923 |
Have you read the fine print on our latest triumph?
And don't forget, our triumph is backed by a money-back guarantee in the fine print! | 10 | -0.124242 |
Why was the student sent to the principal's office with an X-ray image?
He was given detention for taking too many selfies with the school X-ray machine! | 10 | -0.425599 |
Why did the flu buy a futon?
Because the futon said it was immune to germs! | 11 | -0.308944 |
Why was the marathon runner carrying a box of incense during the race?
Because he was trying to find a new way to 'smell' the roses during the race! | 11 | -0.119094 |
Why did the daffodil lie about the season?
Because spring is actually the season of lies! | 11 | -0.312483 |
Why did the knight commission a luxury fortress?
Because he wanted to build the most extravagant birdhouse in the park! | 11 | -0.070157 |
Why did the man go to the doctor and say, "I think I have a new syndrome?"
He was just diagnosed with "Idiot Syndrome"! | 11 | -0.511383 |
Have you heard about the archaeologist who found a valuable stamp in a pile of dirt?
He was trying to find the rarest stamp: the Dirt-y Penny! | 12 | -0.504477 |
Why did the Victorian lady start playing golf?
Because she wanted to make sure her ball would never go unnoticed again! | 12 | -1.062244 |
Why did the two humans argue over a potato for hours?
Because he thought a sculpture of a potato would solve the dispute over the last slice! | 12 | -0.91503 |
Why did the hippie bring a bowl of granola to church?
Because he found out that granola is the body of Christ! | 12 | -1.033356 |
Why did the comptroller start studying advanced mathematics?
Because he heard there was a new formula for calculating pi that would make his calculations easier! | 12 | -0.486721 |
Why did the iceberg bloom a flower?
I guess you could say it was a sinking feeling when I found a rose in my Titanic! | 13 | -0.154709 |
Why did the neuropathologist go on a mushroom hunt?
Turns out, he was a mycologist trapped in a neuropathologist's body! | 13 | -0.06467 |
Why did the soldier carry a bomb to the gym?
He was just trying to 'deploy' his new exercise routine! | 13 | -0.036204 |
Why did the spiritual guru swipe right on the gym rat?
Because he tried picking up the Dalai Lama with, "Are you here to discuss reincarnation, or are you just here to meditate on my abs?" | 13 | -0.181439 |
Why did the snowman go to ancient Greece?
Because he wanted to build a 'snow'-nami! | 13 | -0.114068 |
Why did the man take his overcoat to the library on a sunny day?
Because he wanted to see if he could read his book in a blizzard! | 14 | -0.0514 |
Why did integrity go to the zoo?
I guess that's why they call it a 'leopard' of your word! | 14 | 0.115404 |
Why did the architect decide to use Legos to design the new skyscraper?
I guess they're building the next financial crisis, one Lego brick at a time! | 14 | 0.00569 |
Why did the sniper bring a remote control to the forest?
Because he was trying to shoot his way through a particularly tough episode of "24"! | 14 | -0.07544 |
Why did the author start writing his book on a computer?
Because he wanted to write a novel about the 'e-book of life'! | 14 | 0.108509 |
Why did the lawyer ask the client to hold his thumb?
Because he needed a thumbprint signature on his contract! | 15 | -0.638545 |
Why did the teacher start a new class on life advice?
Because he was teaching a class on 'How to Tarnish Your Life Choices!' | 15 | -0.518891 |
Why did User 15 bring a vacuum cleaner to the office? Because I don't know what's worse, working with a vacuum or a black hole for a colleague! | 15 | -0.448485 |
Why did the lawyer get nailed to the wall at the copyright conference? They say I've been crucifying the competition with my copyright claims! | 15 | 0.103408 |
Why did the aunt bring a dhow to the family reunion?
Because she's so good at cooking, she's the only one who can navigate by a recipe written in Arabic! | 15 | -1.000801 |
Why did the universe decide to adopt a new time measurement?
Because they said the universe was going through a 'cosmic phase'! | 16 | -0.908887 |
Why did User 16's phone GPS keep saying he was "out of range"?
Because User 16's phone GPS kept telling him he was "out of range"! | 16 | -0.823849 |
Why did the beachgoer bring a towel to the beach of mathematical equations?
Because he wanted to find the 'beach'minant of his tan lines! | 16 | -1.122093 |
Why did the inventor work tirelessly on his new shampoo bottle design?
Because he wanted to make a 'shampoontribution' to the world! | 16 | -1.115271 |
Why did the thong wear ranch dressing?
I guess that's what they call a 'dressing emergency!' | 16 | -1.081799 |
Have you ever seen a fireworks display so big it made you feel like you were eating a Big Mac?
It was a real firecracker of a meal! | 17 | 0.214003 |
Why did the farm collective decide to adopt a Dalmatian?
To ensure they had a fire dog on hand! | 17 | 0.187537 |
Why did the impala join the Olympic games?
He's the new champion in the 'Impala-tion Relay!' | 17 | -0.092475 |
Why did Mount Vesuvius start baking cookies?
Turns out, it's the secret ingredient for the world's hottest chocolate chip cookie! | 17 | 0.268923 |
Why did the stock market hire an accountant?
Because they found out the CEO was using a 'broken' calculator for all the calculations! | 17 | -0.032007 |
Why did the paperback book burst into tears?
Because it was so moving, it made my paperback cry! | 18 | 0.121644 |
Why did User 18 bring a gamepad to the board meeting?
Because User 18 was trying to level up his leadership skills! | 18 | -0.256705 |
Associations for quote:
- Motivational
- Famous
- Inspirational
- Attribution
Associations for harmonica:
- Blues
- Jazz
- Folk
- Busking
Pairings:
- Motivational + Busking
- Famous + Jazz
- Inspirational + Folk
Chosen pairing with explanation:
Famous + Jazz: There are... | 18 | -0.022397 |
Why did they install a speed limit sign on the beach?
Because they finally found a place where you can get a 'slow-motion tan'! | 18 | 0.69503 |
Why was the sail acting so strangely on the ship?
Because it was trying to avoid the 'sail-blocker'! | 18 | 0.45075 |
Why did the insomniac start eating flax seeds in bed?
Because he heard it was a great way to get a 'dose' of fiber while you snooze! | 19 | -0.507746 |
Why did the magician wear a vintage force field?
Because he was trying to vintage-up his push/pull strategy! | 19 | -0.077215 |
Why did the man wear his pajamas to the office?
Because he was tired of being a 'night-shift executive'! | 19 | -0.408278 |
Why did the comedian prescribe laughter for pain?
Because he found out that laughter really is the best analgesia! | 19 | 0.130339 |
Why did the disco dancer bring a U-turn to the dance floor?
Because he wanted to do a U-turn on the dance floor, but his bell-bottoms got stuck! | 19 | 0.221938 |
Why did the soccer player bring a square ball to the game?
Because it was a corner kick and he wanted to make it a 'square' corner! | 20 | 0.267126 |
Have you heard about the new Russian sushi bar?
I guess they call it "Fishy Boiling Point" in Russia! | 20 | 0.753494 |
Why did the new dad hang a corkboard in the nursery?
Because he heard it was a great place to pin his 'diaper-graphs'! | 20 | 0.554947 |
Why did the ethicist bring a bucket of water to a deserted island?
Because he heard it was the key ingredient for making 'pure'-water ice! | 20 | 0.434147 |
Why did the singer bring an umbrella to the concert?
Because he wanted to make sure he had a 'cloudy' chorus! | 20 | 0.16579 |
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