clean_text stringlengths 3 19.8k | is_depression int64 0 1 |
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everything is a really weird blur not all the time but these wave of blur come and go doe anybody else have this it s like i m existing but not really dead but alive deaf but i can hear blind but i can see what is this | 1 |
school work talent cultural knowledge relationship health physical appearance there s always someone better than me and no matter how hard i try the result are mediocre nothin outstanding i shouldn t have existed everything i ve done amount to nothing | 1 |
i just want to be left alone i wish people would stop reaching out i just need alone time to heal i don t share that i have depression with my family or friend so that make it weirder they probably think i m rude but regardless i wish i would be left alone | 1 |
i try to play video game but just quit immediately and the same thing happens with my guitar i just can t do either one | 1 |
i m alive because i wan na outlive all the mf who gave me truma | 1 |
i m not sure if this is the right subreddit to go to but i don t know where else to go my spouse ha struggled with severe depression his whole life it is genetic his dad wa the same any amount of pressure make him worse he constantly feel a though life is not worth living and he s a lost cause he will never feel okay a... | 1 |
why can t people like me what did i do wrong am i really just a shitty person i ve known for a long as while that no one like me but i ve just ignored that fact and smiled and tried to socialize with others it just make thing worse and i m just an annoying fuck i just wan na know why i m annoying i ve accepted all of t... | 1 |
i hold a lot of pain and trauma in me and i m not good at sharing it with others except for a very select few i have started therapy recently sometimes this pain really take control of me almost put me in a black hole where i can t stop and it take a big toll on me and those closest to me mentally therefore i am hurtin... | 1 |
what can i do besides tell someone that someone is bullying me it keep my depression even worse thx for the help | 1 |
i have been going for month to a new therapist and originally the goal wa to just do self care like shower eat take my med stuff like that i had graduated college and moved to a new city to start my first big boy job and i wa struggling with the life transition now i have everything together i take care of myself i hav... | 1 |
i m year old and i ve been depressed since sophomore in high school during those year i ve tried my best to keeping myself together not showing my true emotion try to make friend make people laugh etc and of course i still go through battle within myself but i ve been the victor so far recently it s been incredibly dif... | 1 |
i hate my living situation and i have no way out of it i m stuck and i cry almost everyday everyone in my home make me feel pointless and unwanted i wish i could control how sensitive i am about it | 1 |
what can i say something major happened someone died friend of mine i am drunk i dont wan na call hotlines they know me already | 1 |
im talking about the kind of depressive episode where you lay in bed all day for day week and struggle to find energy motivation for simple functioning such a eating and showering just lay sit there having negative thought and feeling hopeless useless and pathetic i have these episode a few or so time a year my questio... | 1 |
i always issue and now they are catching up with me my blood pressure is dangerously high most day i m dizzy and disoriented worst of all i m tired the last one wa here for a long time but it got to the point where i no longer have the energy to do anything no matter how hard i try to push it i wa passively suicidal fo... | 1 |
this post is regarding my father who relentlessly forced his own will upon me and made me choose my career and life choice based on that a a result it ha brought catastrophic consequence for me i wa an above average student at school but used to be excellent in creative pursuit like theatre writing story and poem engli... | 1 |
original text in german translated with google translator sorry for any mistake i hope it s still understandable unhappy with myself constantly comparing to others what do i really want need to get my life on track want to solve problem myself don t accept help don t say how i really feel say everything is fine even th... | 1 |
everyday i wake up same routine i feel underappreciated by those i live with i have very few i m very close to and care about my mental state ha been on a rapid decline for month now i m basically living for my cat and the person i m closest to i just constantly have this overwhelming sense of dread and paranoia everyd... | 1 |
i m a college student who ha changed their major different time and am currently pre med although i have always struggled in my science course for about the last year i have had zero motivation my gpa is slowly slipping a i never study or go to class i used to smoke weed all day i wa high most of 0 but i quit and now i... | 1 |
my best friend doesn t want to be friend anymore i don t have the energy to fight for our friendship i feel a though i m constantly trying to be a better friend and person just because i m trying doesn t mean i m perfect but that s okay i m heartbroken over the fact but i can not keep someone who doesn t wan na be my f... | 1 |
this is my first reddit post also my first time sharing this information with anyone but i can t really keep it in anymore man so bear with me hopefully there s a psychiatrist out there that will read this and hit me with some world altering advice because there is absolutely no way in hell i will ever tell anyone espe... | 1 |
i m only and already have so many physical and mental health issue ptsd ocd autism adhd depression anxiety visual snow obesity fibromyalgia gender dysphoria im trans chronic fatigue binge eating disorder it s all so much not only all this but recently i ve been dealing with more health problem my heart been racing even... | 1 |
it s been five year and a couple day now since my first major attempt i m not too sure how i feel to be honest ha life improved well not really of course after that first attempt i tried a couple more time i think if we look at the net value i m relatively in the same spot a i wa five year ago vibing on the bridge than... | 1 |
i don t really know how reddit work but i just came here to get something off my chest i m a 0yo female who deal with major depression i ve always felt like i have no purpose in this world and that i am a complete waste of a human being i don t even know who i am anymore whenever people are like so tell me about yourse... | 1 |
im waking up and have some weird thought i think one of them is that i think im unattractiv because im not that heigh with cm i think im way to small and thats the reason im unattractiv to woman i also dont get enough attention from my parent i feel so hollow because i think i deserve to be ignored i think that im seek... | 1 |
a year ago today i moved to a new city the city of opportunity growth and everything nice but i also learned this is the city of demise since i ve moved here itit s been hard to adapt to the culture the environment and pretty much anything else the store were different everyone talked differently people dressed differe... | 1 |
hell i can t pull myself out of this i d rather just cease existing i don t deserve happiness i don t deserve comfort i don t deserve to live the only thing i actually deserve is death | 1 |
i feel like i ll never get a girlfriend i m i also have a genetics disorder i feel like no woman will ever want me because of it i don t think you can tell i have it but i feel once i tell them that they won t want me i ve been feeling really depressed about it and i m scared to talk to woman so that doesn t help | 1 |
i feel like my whole life wa a joke i have problem with concentration due to depression and my mom start rumor that i am dumb cause i watch porn | 1 |
you know that feeling when the day and night drag on the tear stream down your cheek your vision start to tunnel the feeling of being lost with no where to go the movie staring yourself is playing and all you can do is sit back and watch a the world start to slip away from you slowly the first time i tried taking my li... | 1 |
i need help but every time i reach out for help it dose not work out i m tired of feeling sad and bad about my self no one care abt how i feel no one want to know how i feel i m ready for my name to be on back of my team mate helmet on saturday when we take the field even with that no one will pay attention all 0k plus... | 1 |
i am year old junior in college i have multiple problem that i need to address to start i have gotten carried away with smoking weed i have been using it almost everyday since i wa and i can no longer control it im always buying it when i can t always afford it i spend a good amount of my time at home smoking weed or u... | 1 |
doe depression destroy your brain cell like literally i feel like i can t connect with anyone and i think in certain situation | 1 |
i never really experience sadness when depressed it other thought | 1 |
been a long course she got sick over a decade ago and wa showing sign before 0 when i wa little idk why but i thought it wa my sole responsibility to protect her from harm my folk didn t get on well but there wasn t any violence between them but we the sole make son i had seen controlled violence against me trust me it... | 1 |
hey guy something that ha really helped me in my mental health journey is to find friend to connect with if anyone want to talk so that we can check in with each other and just have an online buddy let me know it s really great to talk to someone we re in this together | 1 |
no clue where to put this so it s going here a while back i wa asked what caused you to start drinking so heavily my default respond to that ha always been it s just how i am which for the most part is correct deep down i think i always knew the real answer now i am finally realizing it s truth it s love a little more ... | 1 |
i have been on prozac wellbutrin for a few month and other depression medication for over a year now i wa told from the beginning i need to go to therapy but wa just too exhausted to pick up the phone and try to find one i ve slowly started getting my energy and motivation back and gave my first session scheduled this ... | 1 |
my depression is taking a turn for the worst the thought about offing myself are starting to become more frequent again there s barely anything going on in my life yet my anxiety feel so overwhelming that one would think i live a busy life i feel so hollow all the time and i don t like it it s starting to get to the po... | 1 |
im a year old college student who is supposed to graduate this may the only problem being i havent been able to get out if bed to go to class in a month i have lost nearly all of my motivation and feel trapped by my mind the only time i leave my house is to go to work because i need the money or go to the gym because i... | 1 |
so this is going to sound stupid so im sorry if it is but im honestly not sure if im actually depressed ive had thought about commiting for about three year but it not thought like oh i need to die it more like im not going to accomplish anything in life so why bother going through any more pain little bit of backgroun... | 1 |
i hate what happened i thought i could be happy even just for a moment it make everything else so much worse and it couldn t have happened at a worse time | 1 |
i am feeling worried for myself it almost a m and i can t sleep im not sure if it just because i can t sleep or if it my inner fight between staying alive or ending it these thought never go away it suck when people don t understand my sudden mood change or decision but i understand why they don t im just saying what i... | 1 |
i give up i won t ever get better my life will be the same for the rest of my life my youth is already wasted i m rotten inside the pill on my desk are a constant reminder but also a comforting way out anytime i would want to the light from my window is a reminder of how the world will go on and forget about me i like ... | 1 |
so i m nearly and since about age i ve struggled 90 of the time with everything feel lost with my life and job don t have the drive to want or even put in effort into finding a girlfriend in a job i don t really want a future in but have no interest or enthusiasm about anything i am just plodding along and it s so so s... | 1 |
so i recently wa put up for a promotion at work to a position that would allow me to work le hour le day and make more money while also furthering my future i have never been happier until recently i m in the final stage of the process to get hired but i m still currently in my previous position we have a rule at work ... | 1 |
currently facing lot of family problem my mental health is really suffering i dont know what to do i am in high school i dont think i am able to study more because of my family s financial problem also i dont have any true friend so i did not share my feeling and situation to anyone please help anyone | 1 |
recently i just keeping feeling the void in my body and mind it s burning myself slowly i no longer have desire to anything or anyone like life itself ha lost it meaning to me i m angry a well been trying really hard to hide my emotion so i can continue my daily life a a person i m not cry for help but my situation is ... | 1 |
hi there i ve spent the past couple of month dealing w anxiety depression and depersonalization and trying changing medication i am on a part time work plan where i work remotely in the afternoon even though i go to bed at a very decent hour i find it so difficult to get up in the morning i will make plan to get up bef... | 1 |
hi all i ve recently gotten out of a pretty long depressive episode i ve cleaned my room and done my laundry my biggest issue is now the dish i ve acquired quite a few dish in my room and today a few of my roommate noticed that some thing have been gone a while how do i put them back without them really noticing that i... | 1 |
i dont know what to do | 1 |
i m slipping into a deep deep depression divorce failed business losing my home many regret etc etc i need a direction in my life i can focus and work hard on but i don t even know where to begin i need someone to help me a there s no way i can do it myself i have adhd so my mind go in a million direction all the time ... | 1 |
i try and try but i just can t do it | 1 |
i am in my office s toilet for about an hour now and i can not stop cry i wa having a good day for a change after a really long time in a while but one bad moment wa enough to push me into this mess i have been trying to make myself stop from cry because i need to go back to my desk but these stupid tear won t stop and... | 1 |
i have this tendency to abandon pretty much everything when something or someone becomes somewhat of a challenge i just leave them i have ghosted girlfriend i have completely disregarded good friend just because they invited me to do something i did t want to do i have abandoned friend who had lent me a hand i have aba... | 1 |
i m on mobile so please excuse me i m also a first time poster on here female i quit a job i had for year last year in may of 0 i wa really good at that job one of the top people even if it wa just a warehouse job i wa a trainer i knew how to do everything and a lot wa expected of me everyday my bos wa incredibly verba... | 1 |
this suck because im so appreciative about what i have esspecially after what ive gone through i feel so stupid complaining about anything now honestly because at the back of my mind im like i made it in a way but im more alone then ever and i dont know what to do honestly | 1 |
nowadays i find that thing simply don t make me very happy like video game reading watching tv i have felt pretty neutral over the past couple of month but god i feel so stupid saying that the only thing that make my day feel like it ha meaning is my shit supermarket job where i rearrange product and basically ruin the... | 1 |
i ve so many health issue and i m only starting with atopic and seborrhoeic dermatitis and psoriasis through endometriosis and hypothyroidism to ibs fucked up hip and pelvic floor and that s not even all and obviously only phisical thing that are wrong and i really try to take care of all of this problem but it s exhau... | 1 |
i m not the same person and i didn t like the person i wa before that so it s not even considered a loss but now i just stopped caring i genuinely stopped caring and it make me want to hate myself but the thing is im too exhausted to even hate myself i just feel like nothing just an empty space where a human used to be... | 1 |
kk i know it sound weird and i can t quite explain it myself so i wa hanging out with a few friend yes i m surprised i have friend too and anyway they invited one of their friend who i didn t know so i started hanging out with this friend of theirs and i wa genuinely happy while hanging out with her i can t really desc... | 1 |
it never actually get better it seems like it is but it s not it s just a lull until it come back again even stronger i m done i m obviously not worth keeping around and deserve to be buried and forgotten who tf am i to want anything fucking idiot | 1 |
i genuinely wish i could say fuck this i m out there s so many responsibility and yet so little life in me to carry all those thing i just hurt someone i love accidentally of course because i wa trying to hurt my self and that s so fucking depressing and embarrassing for god sake i m almost and still acting like a brat... | 1 |
a little about me first i have always been the type of person to see thing only black and white i live my life through fact and being direct im very detailed and observant i observe people behavior and see who they really are are they genuine fake im also the type of person who analyzes everything could be over thinkin... | 1 |
before i start talking i want to apologise for my english skill since it s not my mother tongue i just need to vent somewhere but i am also asking for help but most importantly i need someone to listen to me right now i have no idea on what to do i am a year old student who go to an art school staying in a boarding sch... | 1 |
first off i have very little experience in dealing with anyone with depression i freely admit that over the past couple of month i have been chatting with and hanging out with this amazing woman i met on a dating app she ha severe anxiety ppd postnatal depression suicidal thought etc we d hit thing off pretty well just... | 1 |
i think the pandemic hit me hard i moved out of my childhood home of 0 year week before the pandemic hit i had worked job and saved for year for a deposit on a place of my own which in the very expensive city i live in wa 0kms away from my family it felt like such an amazing achievement at the time but ever since then ... | 1 |
this is a really long rant but i just needed to get it out i feel like i m starting to become a better version of myself one that people like respect and want to be around and i just can t stop beating myself up for not being this version in college when i wa nearly suicidal and i lost some friend who kept abandoning m... | 1 |
i want to be dead ive been suicidal for year im such a fucking retard filled with regret and anger im done with life i want all of this to stop why i cant do one thing right | 1 |
i ve lost year of my life to the pandemic i became a slob i forgot how to care for basic hygiene and everything i own is tight and uncomfortable i have no job or any motivation to find one i waste away everyday but during all of the last two year i had supportive friend and i think i finally overdid it yesterday a frie... | 1 |
title say it all really bit of context i ve been depressed for the better part of year it started late into high school i ve been referred to multiple mental health service none of which have helped i wa first referred to cahms when i wa i stopped going to these session due to me not being able to open up i wa then ref... | 1 |
this thread it s i don t know what i d do without it i m rarely ever on reddit and when i am i m on it for this i m on it because i m so overwhelmed by by everything and i m too scared or ashamed or or just so fucking tired to go to family friend my fucking partner to walk them through what i m feeling and how how it s... | 1 |
been on mirtazapine for week made my depression way worse and didn t do anything for anxiety it s mostly for anxiety i havent really went into detail about depression but it s supposed to be effective for both right im gon na have to start smoking weed again will that have an effect | 1 |
it s so strange waking up everyday with this sense that you want thing to go back to the way they were like your brain ha it own lil trumpster lying to you telling you your childhood wa better before or you were happy before you started this job etc the truth is it s always sucked though lol there are brief moment now ... | 1 |
i m a yr old female and i wa diagnosed with bipolar when i wa almost been a month but i ve noticed that my anger ha totally converted into full rage when i wa just depressed a month before it s been year since my dad death but it isn t a normal death he wa murdered in cold blood because he wa running for politics i hav... | 1 |
i come from a pretty african evangelical household where mental health wasn t talked about or addressed growing up in the last few year i ve noticed intense wave of sadness and internal pain turn from short stint of time to practically everyday now there will be time period of elation but for the most part my dispositi... | 1 |
i don t think i m being irrational i know that nobody will ever want to be with me romantically im getting more depressed by the day and i already notice my few friend distancing themselves i can t blame them i m sure i m not fun to be around there s very few people with whom i feel like i can share how i m really feel... | 1 |
today i wa prescribed xanax and celexa for my depression and anxiety i have major anxiety about taking pill the side effect freak me out especially when it come to mental medication i ve took zoloft in the pas for a couple day and it freak me out with suicidal thought very angry and ticked off i m scared this might hap... | 1 |
someone said this to me today he wasn t being serious it wa just banter his bros would probably be like yea you re right i do have great tit but it really opened up a healing wound for me being bullied growing up for my look i ve always been fat and people have used that against me for year these past few year i ve bee... | 1 |
i m fucking and why the fuck do i still feel this shit fuck fuck fuxk fuxk fuck fuck this i hate this | 1 |
i m amp i literally can t imagine a future here for myself at all i only see my depression worsening a time go on working crappy minimum wage job still all alone living alone with no one to care about me the list go on amp on i seriously feel like one day i will eventually commit suicide like it just my destiny amp i m... | 1 |
i can t remember a time when i wasn t struggling i ve wanted to die for a long a i can remember and i m worried i m no longer afraid of death i just don t understand myself i can get up every day and do everything i need to put my retainer in and wash my face before i sleep get great grade but no one know how much my b... | 1 |
so i live hour away from where i wa born and raised well my very best friend twin brother oded because someone put fentanyl into his drink smoke and he wa always like a brother to me but i can t make it to his funeral i hate myself for it i want to be there for my best friend and i want to be able to say goodbye to a g... | 1 |
in 0 i found out a former friend and person i used to have sex with in 0 wa posting my naked photo to a nude sharing reddit page kik and trading them with stranger on the internet we lived in two different country when i discovered this and the only thing i could do wa call email with the police in his area and inform ... | 1 |
i struggle to get the thing people take for granted my whole school life ha been extremely terrible and i used to get bullied very badly back in kindergarten and some of middle school im in highschool now and i have like no friend only acquaintance i dont go to the nice place that normal people go to for example never ... | 1 |
nobody would care if i wa dead i don t think my family would even react i starved myself and fasted everyday and looked sick and no one even noticed or remembers | 1 |
i m at that point it s just too much there s no way to even describe it anymore | 1 |
ha anyone had trouble with making progress in therapy i ve tried therapy a fair bit throughout my life and i ve never really gotten anywhere this year ha been exceptionally hard for me and so i have thrown myself into therapy and put a ton of effort both into finding therapist who were a good fit a well a really trying... | 1 |
why am i like this sometimes i think about what people reaction would be if they found out i committed suicide sometimes i think it s the only way for people to understand and feel the pain i am feeling i know deep down i won t do it cowardice and my mom still being alive is the only thing stopping me i travel to and f... | 1 |
honestly i just need someone to talk to this ha been the worst month of my life im holding back tear just typing this because it feel like im getting closer to the end because i never ask for help i wa homeless for year with bed bug now i have a voucher so i live in a place now and im safe i just feel bad complaining a... | 1 |
don t really know if that make sense but it a sort of feeling i get a lot | 1 |
today all good is dead i feel a little funny | 1 |
going through a depressive phase probably will last for a week to the least i picked up project when i wasn t in this depressive episode and now i cut of any communication with those people a the time is passing my anxiety is rising so a to why i am not communicating what they will think judgement etc what are your tho... | 1 |
i wa wondering what to do somedays he is so down and feel so low all he want is stay home and never go out today we went for a walk and he said it wa nothing special but he thanked me for coming and said he had a good time i want to find something special and out of the ordinary to make him forget about all the pressur... | 1 |
sometimes i think i wa either born too early or too late for my life the shape of water anyone else feel this way sometimes i feel like somehow i wasn t supposed to be here i don t seem to fit in with my life finding someone i click with ha become like finding life on other planet at it s difficult not to momentarily s... | 1 |
tl dr have been abused mentally and physically by both parent throughout my childhood and even now at year old very depressed and have suicidal thought failing school and have poor social life afraid to fight back because it will end up in conflict someone getting hurt and me getting kicked out of the house for the mil... | 1 |
i am mentally exhausted i have so many problem that i can not deal with my older brother bully me daily and all i do is just sit and listen to it if i tell him to stop he will just continue to be more annoying i have a lot of health problem my parent dont want to take me to a doctor because they think i am lying so i h... | 1 |
ppd amp work hi everyone i m month postpartum and for the past couple of month i ve been calling into work a lot i ve had depression anxiety for year but during my pregnancy it got wayyyy worse anyways i m grateful that my job hasn t said anything since i always have a sub i work at a high school a a paraprofessional b... | 1 |
i wish he would delete her and not talk to her anymore i have nightmare about her every day for month but now they ve gotten worse i wake up time each night and after am i can t fall back asleep i wake up cry feeling paranoid depressed and betrayed what doe she have that make her so important that it s worth hurting yo... | 1 |
i wish i wa just normal everything is so hard for me i used to wish the world wa a better place but ive given up hope the world will never get any better and even if it did my mind is too fucked to be apart of it | 1 |
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