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The assertion, though superficially true, is so imperfect in its delineation of habitual conduct liable to another construction, that the agitated Flowerpot returns, with quick indignation, "your arm was always reaching out whenever you sat in a chair anywhere near me, and whenever I sang you always kept looking straig...
(And so they will fall, sure enough, but it will be simply because when our dear young knight, L.E., has killed _her_ Dragon, she will have wiped out the whole brood! They can't live without their sweet and attractive little sister. And so, like many a bigger humbug, we shall take great credit, that belongs to somebody...
And the undersigned having seen the French revolution played on the Roman stage at NIBLO'S, also went home without waiting to see the prophetic fourth and fifth acts, in which the conspirators come to grief, and the empire is reëstablished. We shall read all about it in the cable dispatches a few months hence. Good Hea...
The most common-place sayings of popular men are handed down to posterity, and a casual remark about the weather is often framed and hung up in the spare-bedroom.It behooves every public man to keep a sentence or two on hand, with a view to embalming them for future reference. I wish to state, in confidence, that if an...
Sealing was at one time chiefly monopolized by adventurous New Englanders, who combined the pursuit with whaling, but at present the sealers of Salt Lake bear off the palm from all competitors, both as regards numbers and hardihood. Whether they combine whaling with sealing is not positively known, but probably they do...
For a regler 40 hoss power suction, K. VANDERBILT is your man. I ones thought I could never take a locker to this 'ere honest old heart, but as I cast my gaze over this audience, and observe among the Bulls and Bears, a cuple of Dears, I will retract that, payin' in the follerin' _Jew de spree_:Come rest on this buzzum...
An announcement which was made by the distinguished Astronomer, Professor LOONEY, created a most profound sensation.He stated that with the aid of a powerful telescope he had discovered an immense Fissure in the Moon. He was quite positive that he had also observed a Man in the Gap. Although unable to distinguish the f...
Latest from Washington Latest News Items Latest about "Lo." Letter from a Friend Letter of Advice, A Letter from a Japanese Student Letter from a Croaker, A Leaven of Leavenworth Literary Vampire Lines by a Hapless Swain Long Shot, A "Lot" on a Lot of Proverbs Love in a Boarding-House Lucus a ...
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If Vol. I of PUNCHINELLO was a _Chassepot_, (and it _did_ make some havoc in the ranks of the enemy,) Vol. II is intended to be a _mitrailleuse_. It will be so arranged as to combine total annihilation with bewitching music. For instance, by turning one of the cranks by which it is worked, PUNCHINELLO will be able to p...
Hastening to the Roach House, from whence started an omnibus for the ferry, she was quickly rattling out of Bumsteadville in a vehicle remarkable for the great number and variety of noises it could make when maddened into motion by a span of equine rivals in an immemorial walking-match."Now, BONNER," she said to the dr...
Punctually as announced, the FIFTH AVENUE THEATRE has re-opened. It has been improved by the addition of several private boxes that remind one of the square pews in old-fashioned churches, (by the way, why do Puseyites object to pews?) and by the erection of a hydrant near the conductor's seat, so that when the audienc...
Yes, I am quite upset; In fact, I'm dizzy yet With all that rapid riding, day and night; But still, two things I see; They've made an end of Me, And blown the Empire higher than a kite!Yes, here I am, at last-- And all my dreams are past. didn't think to enter Prussia thus! ...
I expect they will pleasantly call me Duke Hudson, and my son the Prince of Staten Island. No matter. I can always face the Inevitable.And that reminds me of the late war, in which the Inevitable that I was always being called upon to face, was the Inevitable Prussian. But I have faced much more terrible things. In you...
What _we_ need just now, and what _we_ have needed for a good while, is a able-bodied Loonatic to send to England as minister.With such a crazy Statesman as you be, them 'ere little Alabarmy claims would have been squared up long ago, or else, if this court knows herself intimately, the British lion would have been sen...
Not so, however, in those days of Arcadian simplicity; for the astounding temerity of the Piper's son, in laying felonious hands on the property of the village butcher, or baker, caused an excitement second only to a hanging, or a first-class sensational horror, of later days.Poor TOM was a deal to be pitied as well as...
There are a great many romantic traditions about this same ROGERS, who is regarded by the simple natives as having been an altogether high-minded and gorgeous character--the fact being that he was one of those unmitigated old scamps who owe to the accident of having lived in Revolutionary times, the distinction of bein...
Now it is a very clear case that the mistake in question--or joke--may be traced to a deficiency of education on the part of these vigilant and zealous detectives. Had they been properly cultivated in the various branches of art, the slight blunder to which we refer could not have occurred. The Spitz-dog noses, instead...
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THE LIFE OF HON. WILLIAM F. CODYKNOWN AS BUFFALO BILLTHE FAMOUS HUNTER, SCOUT AND GUIDE._AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY_.To GENERAL PHILIP H. SHERIDAN, THIS BOOK IS MOST RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR.[Illustration: Yours Sincerely, W. F. Cody]INTRODUCTORY.The life and adventures of Hon. William F. Cody--Buffalo Bill--as told ...
BILLINGS AS A BOCARROBILLINGS RIDING LITTLE GRAYEXCITING SPORTSTAKING OUT LOTSMY FATHER STABBEDMY FATHER'S ESCAPELIFE OR DEATHBOYISH SPORTTWO TO ONEKILLING MY FIRST INDIANA PRAIRIE SCHOONERWILD BILL (PORTRAIT)HOLDING THE FORTCAMPING IN A SEPULCHRERAFTING OS THE PLATTERIDING PONY EXPRESSSAVED BY CHIEF RAIN IN-THE-FACECH...
CHAPTER XVII.AN APPOINTMENT.General Sheridan appoints me Guide and Chief of Scouts of the Fifth Cavalry--The Dog Soldiers--General Forsyth's Fight on the Arickaree Fork.CHAPTER XVIII.SCOUTING.Arrival of the Fifth Cavalry at Fort Hays--Out on a Scout--A little Skirmish with Indians--A Buffalo Hunt--A False Alarm in camp...
It was at LeClair that I acquired my first experience as an equestrian. Somehow or other I had managed to corner a horse near a fence, and had climbed upon his back. The next moment the horse got his back up and hoisted me into the air, I fell violently to the ground, striking upon my side in such a way as to severely ...
The affair created a great deal of enthusiasm; but the race was conducted with honor and fairness, which was quite an agreeable surprise to my father, who soon found the Missourians to be at heart very clever men--thus showing that outside appearances are sometimes very deceptive; they nearly all came up and congratula...
That evening we reached our camp, which was located two miles west of Rively's. The first thing I did was to hunt up my ponies, and from my father's description of them, I had no difficulty in finding them. They were lariated in the grass and I immediately ran up to them supposing them to be gentle animals. I was great...
Next morning he walked over to his own camp, but soon returned, mounted on a beautiful horse, with a handsome saddle, bridle and lariat. I thought he was a magnificent looking man. I envied his appearance, and my ambition just then was to become as skillful a horseman as he was. He had rigged himself out in his best st...
"Gentlemen, I voted that it should be a _white_ state--that negroes, whether free or slave, should never be allowed to locate within its limits; and, gentlemen, I say to you now, and I say it boldly, that I propose to exert all my power in making Kansas the same kind of a state as Iowa. I believe in letting slavery rem...
My mother and sisters, who had not heard of my father or myself since I had been sent to warn him of his danger, had become very anxious and uneasy about us, and were uncertain as to whether we were dead or alive. I received a warm welcome home, and as I entered the house, mother seemed to read from the expression of m...
Shortly after this affair, I came home again on a visit and found father there sick with fever, and confined to his bed. One day my old enemy rode up to the house on my pony Prince, which he had stolen from me."What is your business here to-day?" asked mother."I am looking for the old man," he replied. "I am going to s...
The trip proved a most enjoyable one to me, although no incidents worthy of note occurred on the way. On my return from Fort Kearney I was paid off the same as the rest of the employees. The remainder of the summer and fall I spent in herding cattle and working for Russell, Majors & Waddell.I finally ventured home--not...
On the day that I got into Leavenworth, sometime in July, I was interviewed for the first time in my life by a newspaper reporter, and the next morning I found my name in print as "the youngest Indian slayer on the plains." I am candid enough to admit that I felt very much elated over this notoriety. Again and again I ...
"Among the white scouts were numbered some of the most noted of their class. The most prominent man among them was 'Wild Bill,' whose highly varied career was made the subject of an illustrated sketch in one of the popular monthly periodicals a few years ago. 'Wild Bill' was a strange character, just the one which a no...
"Well, I rather think I have," coolly replied the stranger, whose words conveyed a double meaning, as we soon learned. We had all come to a halt by this time, and the strange horsemen had surrounded us. They were all armed with double-barreled shot guns, rifles and revolvers. We also were armed with revolvers, but we h...
We started off at about eleven o'clock, and had ridden about seven miles when--while we were on a big plateau, back of Cedar Bluffs--we suddenly discovered a band of Indians coming out of the head of a ravine, half a mile distant, and charging down upon us at full speed. I thought that our end had come this time, sure....
Being anxious to return to the Missouri river, I joined with two others, named Scott and Charley, who were also desirous of going East on a visit, bought three ponies and a pack-mule, and we started out together. We made rapid progress on our journey, and nothing worthy of note happened until one afternoon, along the b...
Having seen no signs of Indians thus far, we felt comparatively safe. We were catching a large number of beavers and were prospering finely, when one of our oxen, having become rather poor, slipped and fell upon the ice, dislocating his hip, so that we had to shoot him to end his misery. This left us without a team; bu...
"Hello! Billy!" he sang out in a loud voice as he came up, he evidently being uncertain as to my being alive."All right, Dave," was my reply."Well, old boy, you're alive, are you?" said he."Yes; and that's about all. I've had a tough siege of it since you've been away, and I came pretty nearly passing in my chips. I be...
"I have heard of you before. You are a year or so older now, and I think you can stand it. I'll give you a trial anyhow and if you weaken you can come back to Horseshoe Station and tend stock."That ended our first interview. The next day he assigned me to duty on the road from Red Buttes on the North Platte, to the Thr...
Slade, having taken a great fancy to me, said: "Billy, I want you to come down to my headquarters, and I'll make you a sort of supernumerary rider, and send you out only when it is necessary." I accepted the offer, and went with him down to Horseshoe, where I had a comparatively easy time of it. I had always been fond ...
I had both of my revolvers with me, the thieves not having thought it necessary to search me. It was now quite dark, and I purposely dropped one of the sage-hens, and asked the man behind me to pick it up. While he was hunting for it on the ground, I quickly pulled out one of my Colt's revolvers and struck him a tremen...
By this time the Englishmen had become thoroughly frightened, as they saw the lines flying wildly in every direction and the team running away. They did not know whether to jump out or remain in the coach. Bob would occasionally look down from his seat, and, seeing their frightened faces, would ask, "Well, how do you l...
He dashed over the dead body of the villain whom he had killed, and just as he sprang into the door of the house, he saw two powerful men assaulting the woman. One of the desperadoes was in the act of striking her with the butt end of a revolver, and while his arm was still raised, Bill sent a ball crashing through his...
In the spring of 1864 the regiment was ordered to Tennessee, and we got into Memphis just about the time that General Sturgis was so badly whipped by General Forrest. General A. J. Smith re-organized the army to operate against Forrest, and after marching to Tupalo, Mississippi, we had an engagement with him and defeat...
If Wild Bill could have made his successful dash into our lines earlier in the day, the attack would have been made sooner, and greater results might have been expected. The Confederates had suspected him of being a spy for two or three days, and had watched him too closely to allow an opportunity to get away from them...
Having promised my wife that I would abandon the plains, I rented a hotel in Salt Creek Valley--the same house by the way, which my mother had formerly kept, but which was then owned by Dr. J.J. Crook, late surgeon of the 7th Kansas. This hotel I called the Golden Rule House, and I kept it until the next September. Peo...
Thinking it would be a grand thing to be half-owner of a town, I at once accepted his proposition. We bought a stock of such articles as are usually found in a frontier store, and transported them to the place on Big Creek, where we were to found our town. We hired a railroad engineer to survey the site and stake it of...
"Yes, sir; I saw those buffaloes coming over the hill, and as we were about out of fresh meat I thought I would go and get some," said I.They scanned my cheap-looking outfit pretty closely, and as my horse was not very prepossessing in appearance, having on only a blind bridle, and otherwise looking like a work-horse t...
[Illustration: THE INDIAN HORSE THIEVES.]We followed the trail the next day for awhile, but as it become evident that it would be a long chase to overtake the enemy, and as we had rations only for the day, we commenced the return. Captain Graham was bitterly disappointed in not being able to get the fight when it seeme...
On this occasion I was mounted on a most excellent horse belonging to the railroad company, and could easily have made my escape; but of course I could not leave Scotty who was driving a pair of mules hitched to the wagon. To think was to act, in those days; and as Scotty and I had often talked over a plan of defense i...
Again the excursion party approached, and once more the champagne was tapped. After we had eaten a lunch which was spread for us, we resumed the hunt. Striking out for a distance of three miles, we came up close to another herd. As I was so far ahead of my competitor in the number killed, I thought I could afford to gi...
General Hazen, who was at the post, was endeavoring to pacify the Indians and keep them from going on the war-path. I was appointed as his special scout, and one morning he notified me that he was going to Fort Harker, and wished me to accompany him as far as Fort Zarah, thirty miles distant. The General usually travel...
We did not have to wait long for the Indians, who came dashing up, lashing their horses, which were panting and blowing. We let two of them pass by, but we opened a lively fire on the next three or four, killing two at the first crack. The others following, discovered that they had run into an ambush, and whirling off ...
It was, indeed, a wise precaution that I had taken, for within the next three miles the horse, sure enough, stepped into a prairie-dog's hole, and down he went, throwing me clear over his head. Springing to his feet, before I could catch hold of the bridle, he galloped away into the darkness; but when he reached the fu...
I had no adventures worth relating during the night, and just before daylight I found myself approaching Saw-log Crossing, on the Pawnee Fork, having then ridden about seventy miles.A company of colored cavalry, commanded by Major Cox, was stationed at this point, and I approached their camp cautiously, for fear that t...
To recapitulate: I had ridden from Fort Larned to Fort Zarah (a distance of sixty-five miles) and back in twelve hours, including the time when I was taken across the Arkansas by the Indians. In the succeeding twelve hours I had gone from Fort Larned to Fort Hays, a distance of sixty-five miles. In the next twenty-four...
Night came again, and the prospects were indeed gloomy. An attempt was made by two more of the scouts to creep through the Indian lines, but they were detected by the enemy and had to return to their comrades. The next morning the Indians renewed hostilities as usual. Their women and children began to disappear about n...
It was also while waiting in this camp that Major Brown received a new lieutenant to fill a vacancy in his company. On the day that this officer was to arrive, Major Brown had his private ambulance brought out, and invited me to accompany him to the railroad station to meet his lieutenant, whose name was A.B. Bache. He...
"No danger of that," said I, and then I rode on, leaving him to return to the command. As I had predicted, we found water seven or eight miles further on, where we came upon a beautiful little stream--a tributary of the Beaver--hidden in the hills. We had no difficulty in selecting a good halting place, and obtaining f...
"I guess not; the mules have got to keep out of the way," was my reply.Telling Wilson, the chief wagon-master, to bring on his mess-wagon, which was at the head of the train, I said I would try the experiment at least. Wilson drove the team and wagon to the brink of the hill, and following my directions he brought out ...
It is not to be denied that Wild Bill and myself had been partaking too freely of "tanglefoot" that evening; and General Carr said to me: "Cody, there are plenty of antelopes in the country, and you can do some hunting for the camp while we stay here.""All right, General, I'll do it."After that I put in my time hunting...
General Bankhead thereupon sent for Captain Laufer and ordered him to turn the horse and mule over to me. In a few minutes more I was on my way to Sheridan, and after settling my business there, I proceeded to Fort Lyon, arriving two days afterwards. I related my adventures to General Carr, Major Brown, and other offic...
Leaving Williams in the charge of Farley and "Long Doc," as we called the man with the pack-mule, Green and myself struck out after Bevins as fast as possible. We heard him breaking through the brush, but knowing that it would be useless to follow him on foot, we went back to the camp and saddled up two of the fastest ...
"No, sir," replied the cook."Well, that will do for the present," said Major Brown.It seems that our minds had evidently been running on a different subject than provisions while we were loitering in Sheridan, and we found ourselves, with a two hundred and fifty mile march ahead of us, without anything more inviting th...
Next morning at daylight we again pulled out and were evidently gaining rapidly on the Indians for we could occasionally see them in the distance. About 11 o'clock that day while Major Babcock was ahead of the main command with his company, and while we were crossing a deep ravine, we were surprised by about three hund...
Hitherto the Pawnees had not taken much interest in me, but while at this camp I gained their respect and admiration by showing them how I killed buffaloes. Although the Pawnees were excellent buffalo killers, for Indians, I have never seen one of them who could kill more than four or five in one run. A number of them ...
While this was going on, the Sioux warriors having recovered from their surprise, had come back and a battle took place all around the camp. I was on the skirmish line, and I noticed an Indian, who was riding a large bay horse, and giving orders to his men in his own language--which I could occasionally understand--tel...
The ground was measured off, the judges were selected, and all other preliminaries were arranged. We rode our horses ourselves, and coming up to the score nicely we let them go. I saw from the start that it would be mere play to beat the Lieutenant's horse, and therefore I held Tall Bull in check, so that none could se...
Just at break of day we mounted our horses, and after riding a short distance we ascended a slight elevation, when, not over one hundred yards distant, we looked down into the Indian camp. The Indians, preparing to make an early start, had driven up their horses and were in the act of mounting, when they saw us chargin...
Suddenly I heard three or four shots, and in a few moments Major North came dashing up towards me, pursued by eight or ten Indians. I instantly sprang into my saddle, and fired a few shots at the Indians, who by this time had all come in sight, to the number of fifty. We turned our horses and ran, the bullets flying af...
[Illustration: A RIDE FOR LIFE.]The day before the Professor arrived at the fort, I had been out hunting on the north side of the North Platte River, near Pawnee Springs, with several companions, when we were suddenly attacked by Indians, who wounded one of our number, John Weister. We stood the Indians off for a littl...
The hunt being over, the column moved forward on its march passing through a prairie-dog town, several miles in extent. These animals are found throughout the plains, living together in a sort of society; their numberless burrows in their "towns" adjoin each other, so that great care is necessary in riding through thes...
In the evening we gathered around the camp-fire for the last time. The duty of naming the camp, which was called Camp Davies, having been duly performed, we all united in making that night the pleasantest of all that we had spent together. We had eloquent speeches, songs, and interesting anecdotes. I was called upon, a...
At the end of the first day I camped on Stinking Water, a tributary of the Frenchman's Fork, where I built a little fire in the timber; but it was so very cold I was not able to sleep much. Getting an early start in the morning I followed up the Frenchman's Fork and late in the afternoon I could see, from the fresh hor...
It was thought that we had had about sport enough for one day, and accordingly I was directed by General Sheridan to guide the party back to camp, and we were soon on our way thither. Several of the party, however, concluded to have a little hunt on their own account, and presently we saw them galloping over the prairi...
On arriving at New York I was met at the dépôt by Mr. J.G. Hecksher, who had been appointed as "a committee of one" to escort me to the Union Club, where James Gordon Bennett, Leonard W. Jerome and others were to give me an informal reception, and where I was to make my headquarters during my visit in the great metropo...
The time soon arrived for my departure for the West; so packing up my traps I started for home, and on the way thither I spent a day with my Westchester relatives, who did everything in their power to entertain me during my brief stay with them.CHAPTER XXVII.HONORS.Upon reaching Fort McPherson, I found that the Third C...
By this time the Indians had discovered us and were holding a consultation, and Milligan turned his horse in the direction of the camp. I never believed that he was half as scared as he seemed to be, but that he was merely pretending so that we could enjoy our joke. However, we did not wait any longer but rode into cam...
"What the deuce do you mean? This is Wednesday, and you propose to open on next Monday night. The idea is ridiculous. Here you are at this late hour without a company and without a drama. This will never do, Buntline. I shall have to break my contract with you, for you can't possibly write a drama, cast it, and rehears...
The next morning there appeared in the Chicago papers some very funny criticisms on our first performance. The papers gave us a better send-off than I expected, for they did not criticise us as actors. The _Chicago Times_ said that if Buntline had actually spent four hours in writing that play, it was difficult for any...
After the curtain dropped, the "supers" complained to me about it. Bill's conduct made me angry, and I told him that he must either stop shooting the "supers," or leave the company. He made no reply, but went to the dressing-room and changed his buckskin suit for his citizen's dress, and during one of my scenes I looke...
About this time an expedition consisting of seven companies of cavalry and two companies of infantry--to be commanded by Colonel Mills of the Third Cavalry, was being organized to scout the Powder River and Big Horn country, and I was employed as guide for the command. Proceeding to Rawlins, Wyoming, we "outfitted," an...
The cavalrymen quietly mounted their horses, and were ordered to remain out of sight, while General Merritt, accompanied by two or three _aides_ and myself, went out on a little tour of observation to a neighboring hill, from the summit of which we saw that the Indians were approaching almost directly towards us. Prese...
I served with him in the army, In the darkest days of the war: And I reckon ye know his record, For he was our guiding star; And the boys who gathered round him To charge in the early morn, War just like the brave who perished With him on the Little Horn.And where is the satisfaction, And how will the boys ge...
CHAPTER XXXI.DANGEROUS WORK.One evening while we were in camp on the Yellowstone at the mouth of Powder river, I was informed that the commanding officers had selected Louis Richard, a half breed, and myself to accompany General Mills on a scouting expedition on the steamer Far West, down the Yellowstone as far as Glen...
After sleeping some time--I can't tell how long--I was suddenly awakened by a roaring, rumbling sound. I instantly seized my gun, sprang to my horse, and hurriedly secreted him in the brush. Then I climbed up the steep side of the bank and cautiously looked over the summit; in the distance I saw a large herd of buffalo...
This work being over, I proposed to spend a few weeks with my family at North Platte, for the purpose of making their better acquaintance, for my long and continued absence from home made me a comparative stranger under my own roof-tree. One great source of pleasure to me was that my wife was delighted with the home I ...
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"Oh, oughtn't he to be ashamed of himself, when he knows that I never did kill any absurd creature!" cried the Flowerpot, in earnest deprecation. "And just think of darling MAGNOLIA, too, with her poor, ridiculous brother! You're a lawyer, Mr. DIBBLE and I should think you could get them a _habeas corpus_, or a divorce...
The principal office of the Comic Paper was one of those amazingly unsympathetic rooms in which the walls, windows and doors all have a stiff, unsalient aspect of the most hard-finished indifference to every emotion of humanity, and a perfectly rigid insensibility to the pleasures or pains of the tenants within their i...
So I put on my best clothes, and a sort of a big blue necktie, and shortly thereafter showed myself to Mr. GRANT, And said that there had been quite enough Of this giving away big offices to people who hadn't big reputations, and that he had other fish to fry, and that, as he wouldn't give the ...
Thus gracefully do we introduce our heroine upon the scene. The reader will be able to judge, from this, whether we are familiar with the literature of our day, or not. He will be able to form a complimentary opinion of our culture. He will perceive that we are acquainted with the writings of Messrs. JAMES, and DICKENS...
The Principal of the "Student's Home," at V------, N.Y., advertising the advantages of his school, makes the following telling appeal, which we should think would be hard to resist by such as find study interfere with digestion."COME TO V------. Its Mineral Water strengthens the body, and its Seminary the mind."The hop...
At Central Park, that hily cultivated forrest, the sharpers tried to chissel me.Just as I approched the gate which leads into the Park, a fansy lookin' feller with short hair and plad briches stopt me and says: "Unkle, you'r fair.""You're a man of excellent judgment," I replide; "I think I am pooty good lookin' for a m...
As the Choir always sang in G, of coarse, there was a row the first Sunday, and it was generally understood that SLUKER was going to fix MIDDLERIB that night.When the evening service commenced, and the Choir was about to begin, the congregation were startled by an ominous click in the gallery, and looking up, they behe...
ACT II.--_Scene--the whiskey shop of the_ REASONING ANIMAL.--LIONEL _asleep on a bed evidently borrowed from some boarding-house--since it is several feet too short for him_.--MAY _engaged in peeling potatoes.--Enter_ REASONING ANIMAL.REASONING ANIMAL. "My daughter! I see you are passionately in love with LIONEL. There...