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23000 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He says he drank heavily every day for five weeks. At one point Rachel rid their home of all alcohol, but he would still sneak what he could.
Rachel says her husband hid alcohol from her beneath bathroom cabinets and other places “like a child.”
He was close to losing her.
The drinking, he realized, was an attempt to relieve stress — stress from football expectations and stress from family life. He was a worrier, except with a drink in his hand.
Poyer went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Then another, and another.
The get-together at Norman’s house was his first significant temptation.
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. |
23001 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Rachel says her husband hid alcohol from her beneath bathroom cabinets and other places “like a child.”
He was close to losing her.
The drinking, he realized, was an attempt to relieve stress — stress from football expectations and stress from family life. He was a worrier, except with a drink in his hand.
Poyer went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Then another, and another.
The get-together at Norman’s house was his first significant temptation.
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. |
23002 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
The drinking, he realized, was an attempt to relieve stress — stress from football expectations and stress from family life. He was a worrier, except with a drink in his hand.
Poyer went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Then another, and another.
The get-together at Norman’s house was his first significant temptation.
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. |
23003 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He was a worrier, except with a drink in his hand.
Poyer went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Then another, and another.
The get-together at Norman’s house was his first significant temptation.
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football. |
23004 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Then another, and another.
The get-together at Norman’s house was his first significant temptation.
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. |
23005 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“When I put that drink down for the first time, it was almost like I overcame a demon,” Poyer says.
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. |
23006 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
The more time that passed, the less Poyer wanted to drink. He has no desire for it now, and the smell of alcohol almost makes him gag.
Despite a stellar career and a loving family, Bills safety Jordan Poyer “felt like there was something missing” as recently as last year. (Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
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Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. |
23007 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
(Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
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Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. |
23008 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
(Dan Pompei / The Athletic)
Being sober didn’t make him immune to anxiety and depression, however. In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
Advertisement
Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. |
23009 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In the 2022 season, he missed five games with elbow, foot, knee and rib injuries. When the Bills lost to the Bengals in the divisional playoff round, Poyer felt responsible for not doing more.
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
Advertisement
Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. |
23010 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
And his angst ran deeper than football.
“I still felt like there was something missing because I have this beautiful house, a beautiful family, everything anyone could ask for,” he says. “I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
Advertisement
Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. |
23011 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“I still felt a sense of unhappiness, a sense of not understanding who I was, and why I was the way I was. A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
Advertisement
Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. |
23012 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
A part of me felt guilty just because I was living this way.”
Advertisement
Poyer couldn’t come to terms with why, despite all his shortcomings, he was in such an enviable position. His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this? |
23013 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
His football journey was improbable. No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else. |
23014 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
No major college wanted him until Oregon State came in with a late offer to grayshirt, meaning his scholarship wouldn’t begin until January of his freshman year. He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? |
23015 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns? |
23016 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He was chosen in the seventh round of the 2013 NFL draft, came into the league as a cornerback, was cut six games into his rookie season and then had to learn a new position with a new team. He took a blind-side hit that put him in the hospital for two days with a lacerated kidney and a concussion. His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. |
23017 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
His career could have been over then.
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. |
23018 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Yet by now he has outlasted 191 of the 217 players drafted ahead of him. And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria. |
23019 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
And he hasn’t just survived in the NFL — he has thrived.
What had he done to deserve this?
Was he justifying his good fortune?
Would there be a greater purpose?
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers. |
23020 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In 2018, Poyer saw a therapist for anxiety once a week. It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. |
23021 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was unfulfilling.
The answers were somewhere else.
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? |
23022 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
GO DEEPER NFL Week 14 takeaways: Bills playoff bound? How far can Joe Flacco take the Browns?
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. |
23023 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In the Quechua language, ayahuasca (pronounced ‘eye-ah-WAH-ska’) means “vine of the soul.”
Ayahuasca is a psychedelic drug made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub and the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine. It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued. |
23024 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. |
23025 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It has been used for more than a thousand years by Amazonian tribes. Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says. |
23026 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Ingesting it can induce a dreamlike feeling, an altered state of consciousness, mystical experiences and euphoria.
In the summer of 2022, Aaron Rodgers revealed he had taken ayahuasca and credited it with helping him have two of the best seasons of his career for the Packers.
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde. |
23027 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. |
23028 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer had never heard of ayahuasca at the time. “My first thought was eff that,” Poyer says. “You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. |
23029 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“You crazy? I’m not doing that.”
The funny word kept showing up in different conversations on his social media feeds and podcasts. Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week. |
23030 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer researched it and became intrigued.
Advertisement
After the difficult 2022 season, Rachel suggested Poyer take a “guys trip” after the season to check out. But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. |
23031 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But “guys trips” usually involve alcohol, and he didn’t want that. Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth. |
23032 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Sightseeing isn’t his thing. “What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. |
23033 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“What I really wanted to do was work on trying to be a better me,” he says.
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. |
23034 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He discovered Resonance, a retreat center in Costa Rica on a hilltop overlooking the Pacific coast and the cloud forest of Monteverde.
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. |
23035 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
To prepare his mind to enter a state of awareness, he was to eat only chicken, fish and salad for one month, with no oils and sugar added. Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. |
23036 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment. |
23037 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Then he had to cut out chicken and fish for the week preceding the ceremony. He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says. |
23038 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He also was told to practice yoga and breathing exercises that would be useful if he experienced anxiety during the three ceremonies spread over a week.
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling. |
23039 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. |
23040 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In a tiki hut in a wooded, secluded area, a shaman presented each participant with a cup of ayahuasca brew, which is kind of like tea, but with benefits. Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. |
23041 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. |
23042 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Taste is not one of them. Poyer says ayahuasca tastes like earth.
“It’s brownish and really thick,” he says. “It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. |
23043 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“It almost looks like oil, but it’s darker and thicker. It’s one of the worst things you could ever taste.”
For the first hour after swigging it down, he lay in a bean bag chair in silence, setting intentions. Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better. |
23044 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. |
23045 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer’s intentions were to understand himself better and love better. Eventually, the shaman provided a second cup, and then, enchantment.
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. |
23046 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“At first what it felt like was my soul left my body for a good two minutes,” Poyer says.
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. |
23047 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Initially, it was unsettling.
“People try to control it, but you can’t,” Poyer says. “It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love. |
23048 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“It took me about five or 10 minutes to figure it out. The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness. |
23049 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
The ego has to die so the medicine can work. In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. |
23050 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In order to let go and let the medicine do what it’s supposed to do, we have to just breathe.”
For about the next hour, Poyer says the highest version of himself lectured him out loud. It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. |
23051 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. |
23052 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was, in his word, “crazy.” First, highest-version Poyer addressed his desire to understand himself better.
Advertisement
“He was basically saying, ‘Jordan, look at your life, bro — what are you mad at?’ ” Poyer says. “It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. |
23053 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“It was what I needed to hear because I wasn’t appreciating anything — not my wife, my daughter, my family, my house. It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly. |
23054 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. |
23055 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was all about me and what I wanted.”
Then he turned to loving better. It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him. |
23056 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It was, he says, as if a Pandora’s box opened on how to love.
The remainder of the ceremonies, which lasted nine hours each, were about curiosity, energy and connectedness.
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. |
23057 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“It’s about how to be a good human,” he says. “And it grounds you. Really grounds you.”
Jordan Poyer is the Bills’ second-leading tackler but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like for a defense plagued by injuries. (Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. |
23058 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
(Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well. |
23059 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
(Sarah Stier / Getty Images)
Two days before OTAs began last April, Poyer returned to the Bills’ headquarters and stepped on the scale. The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. |
23060 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
The needle settled at 179 pounds, about 20 pounds below his playing weight.
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. |
23061 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. |
23062 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
After resuming his regular routine, the weight came back quickly.
He discussed his experience with curious teammates, coaches and the team psychologist. Poyer hoped ayahuasca would elevate his football performances as Rodgers believes it did his, but it hasn’t worked that way for him.
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective. |
23063 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He is the second-leading tackler on his team but hasn’t made as many big plays as he would like. What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. |
23064 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. |
23065 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
What he has done, according to former Bills defensive coordinator Les Frazier, now an analyst for NFL Network, is enable his defense to be the best it can by lifting others through versatility, sacrifice, toughness and communication. Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football. |
23066 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore. |
23067 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer wears his “C” well.
“I feel like I’m playing OK this year,” Poyer said during the Bills’ bye week on the patio of his Florida home. “I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. |
23068 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“I’m not playing the best that I’ve played in my career. There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. |
23069 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
There are probably two plays I really want back. But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). |
23070 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But I’m doing a lot. And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. |
23071 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
And in a very deep sense, I absolutely love that I’m entrusted with doing as much as I’m doing on this defense.”
Ayahuasca gifted him in another way — with perspective.
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. |
23072 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. |
23073 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Ego is a powerful force in professional athletes. It helps them ascend and often hastens their downfalls. In previous seasons, Poyer believes his responses to successes and failures were too ego-driven. Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem? |
23074 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Football was him — he has an NFL logo tattooed on his left shoulder — and he was football.
Advertisement
Not anymore.
“We still have games left that I’m excited about, but I knew some way, somehow, this universe was going to test me this year,” he says. “We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. |
23075 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“We lost DaQuan Jones, Matt Milano and Tre’Davious White for the season. It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better. |
23076 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
It’s hard. This s— is hard. And it’s not just (the losses). I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. |
23077 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
I’m 32, not this young spring chicken anymore. You know, s— hurts all the time. But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says. |
23078 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms. |
23079 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But my perspective is I get to play a game that I love, and I’m healthy enough to play. Every time you come out of a game, that’s a win in its own way.”
GO DEEPER Bills training camp preview: Is 2023 final run for Micah Hyde-Jordan Poyer tandem?
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. |
23080 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has. |
23081 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer’s commitment is such that last season, when a rib injury precluded him from airplane travel, he took a 32-hour round-trip drive to play in a game in Kansas City. He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. |
23082 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. |
23083 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He wants to lift a Lombardi Trophy badly, as much as ever. But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. |
23084 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But if it doesn’t happen, he believes he can handle the disappointment better.
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. |
23085 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
On Fridays this season, Poyer, fellow safety Taylor Rapp and assistant strength coach Will Greenberg play crystal bowls at Bills headquarters. “The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. |
23086 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“The different tones that you can tune into can enhance chakras within you and help you heal,” he says.
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it. |
23087 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Healing takes many forms.
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. |
23088 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
When Poyer was 12, Louis Dunbar, who has done multiple stints in prison for violent crimes, called him for the first time and stunned him with the revelation he was his biological father. In subsequent conversations, Dunbar often said he wanted to see him or come to one of his games. He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. |
23089 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
He never has.
“I always had this hate and resentment toward him I was holding,” says Poyer, who doesn’t know where Dunbar is. “This experience enabled me to let that go. I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided. |
23090 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
I realize I wouldn’t have anything — my daughter and my wife — if not for him. Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. |
23091 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Even if it was just the seed he gave my mom. So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. |
23092 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
So someday I’ll meet him, give him a hug and tell him I’m sorry.”
Rachel has no interest in taking ayahuasca. But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. |
23093 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
But she is grateful her husband discovered it.
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. |
23094 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Advertisement
“After he did ayahuasca, he became like my dream husband,” Rachel says. “I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords. |
23095 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
“I was nervous about what it would do to him, but he came back a totally new man, so appreciative of me and our family.”
Bills safety Jordan Poyer with his wife, Rachel, and their daughter, Aliyah. (Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords.
“His attention now is 100 percent on me, his family and his career,” says Rachel, who has more than 4 million Instagram followers, an OnlyFans page and a line of skincare products. |
23096 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
(Courtesy of Rachel Bush Poyer)
Highest-version Poyer made Poyer aware he was not doing the little things — waking up with a smile, giving Rachel a hug on his way out, or being present even when his attention could be divided.
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords.
“His attention now is 100 percent on me, his family and his career,” says Rachel, who has more than 4 million Instagram followers, an OnlyFans page and a line of skincare products.
Some players feel more pressure when the end is closer than the beginning. The Bills have an out in Poyer’s contract after this season. |
23097 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords.
“His attention now is 100 percent on me, his family and his career,” says Rachel, who has more than 4 million Instagram followers, an OnlyFans page and a line of skincare products.
Some players feel more pressure when the end is closer than the beginning. The Bills have an out in Poyer’s contract after this season. He isn’t stressing about any of it. His focus is here and now.
Poyer has thought about becoming a football commentator after retirement. But he has more to offer than sports talk. |
23098 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
Poyer has turned off his DMs on Instagram and deleted his Twitter/X account. Instagram features a For You page — a personalized feed based on user engagement patterns. In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords.
“His attention now is 100 percent on me, his family and his career,” says Rachel, who has more than 4 million Instagram followers, an OnlyFans page and a line of skincare products.
Some players feel more pressure when the end is closer than the beginning. The Bills have an out in Poyer’s contract after this season. He isn’t stressing about any of it. His focus is here and now.
Poyer has thought about becoming a football commentator after retirement. But he has more to offer than sports talk. He could talk about why he’s never had a vaccine, why Aliyah is homeschooled, or how he believes God transcends religions. |
23099 | Alcoholism, Ayahuasca and the Enlightenment of an N.F.L. Player
In the past, Poyer’s was filled with posts of other girls, according to Rachel. Now there’s nothing on Poyer’s For You page except football and ayahuasca. She knows because they have one another’s passwords.
“His attention now is 100 percent on me, his family and his career,” says Rachel, who has more than 4 million Instagram followers, an OnlyFans page and a line of skincare products.
Some players feel more pressure when the end is closer than the beginning. The Bills have an out in Poyer’s contract after this season. He isn’t stressing about any of it. His focus is here and now.
Poyer has thought about becoming a football commentator after retirement. But he has more to offer than sports talk. He could talk about why he’s never had a vaccine, why Aliyah is homeschooled, or how he believes God transcends religions.
He could discuss why he has always thought he might be an alien. |
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