conversations listlengths 2 2 | subreddit stringclasses 3
values | url stringlengths 29 124 |
|---|---|---|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, unless you’re at a funeral."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I tried to share this with my room and I had to explain the joke 🙃 fml I lol-ed too much"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/va5p2c/im_sorry_and_i_apologize_mean_the_same_thing/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Why is bleaching your anus not called \"changing your ringtone\"?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I got it... But I shouldn't have... Gross."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7ork10/why_is_bleaching_your_anus_not_called_changing/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Face is a four letter word, but preface is a foreword letter."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "[Yeah, that's a good one.](https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/6d0f95/face_is_a_four_letter_word_but_preface_is_a/)"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8x5hau/face_is_a_four_letter_word_but_preface_is_a/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I had to fly across the country for my vaccine, and, wow, are my arms sore."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Took a second to get it. Lol"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/msaym3/i_had_to_fly_across_the_country_for_my_vaccine/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Happiness comes from the simple things\n[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The Office party?"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/a2codf/happiness_comes_from_the_simple_things/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was going to keep my synonym for \"incomprehensible\" a secret, but it's meaningless."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Well, technically incomprehensible is not a synonym for meaningless. Up voted for the attempt"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ab1i1e/i_was_going_to_keep_my_synonym_for/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I used to live paycheck to paycheck, but thanks to modern technology I now live direct deposit to direct deposit!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "That was a quick repost steal"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/yft12h/i_used_to_live_paycheck_to_paycheck_but_thanks_to/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Going paperless at the office is nice, but causing a few problems in the bathrooms."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Don't you know what the three shells are for?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ry9es4/going_paperless_at_the_office_is_nice_but_causing/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Identity theft is the sincerest form of flattery"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "identity theft is not a joke jim!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/o5i78b/identity_theft_is_the_sincerest_form_of_flattery/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Etta James' full name is 'Estimated Time to Arrival James'."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Etta boy! Well done"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/jnwr4l/etta_james_full_name_is_estimated_time_to_arrival/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My wife found loads of animal porn on our computer but I think I got away with it.\nI blamed the dog."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Good Move.\nShe already knows that he is into fucking women."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d94qa/my_wife_found_loads_of_animal_porn_on_our/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "this sedentary lifestyle is just not working out"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I’d upvote, but the button is all the way at the top of my smartphone screen."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/athe6j/this_sedentary_lifestyle_is_just_not_working_out/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The local bowling alley is closed due to a strike."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Spare me!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/hciog8/the_local_bowling_alley_is_closed_due_to_a_strike/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Scientists have proven that anything can sound impressive if you say scientists have proven it."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Wow! Impressive facts, OP!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9m46ma/scientists_have_proven_that_anything_can_sound/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My grandpa got his new set of dentures and he's being an asshole."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "But then he puts his dentures back in"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/qf1od6/my_grandpa_got_his_new_set_of_dentures_and_hes/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Hey! Are you online match making because....."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...of lockdown?"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/kby8w3/hey_are_you_online_match_making_because/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,\"Help, they've turned me into a parrot\", you are wasting everybody's time."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Btw, source is Sickipedia. I won't link because a Reddit surge would cripple them."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dllc6/if_you_have_a_parrot_and_you_dont_teach_it_to/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How many times must I tell you that I never repeat myself!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I have spoken"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/lhevh9/how_many_times_must_i_tell_you_that_i_never/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "At least the lady at the shoe store thinks I’m a 10."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm a 7 and have to shop in the kids department"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/opdnwz/at_least_the_lady_at_the_shoe_store_thinks_im_a_10/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Calling my dick “life” so everytime I’m horny I can say my life is hard."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Your life is short"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/pal81x/calling_my_dick_life_so_everytime_im_horny_i_can/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What animal has more lives than a cat?\n​\n\nA frog, it croaks every night."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You belong in r/dadjokes good pal"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c4i2td/what_animal_has_more_lives_than_a_cat/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I passed my genetic engineering exam, with flying koalas"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You met the koala-fications"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/tw7lva/i_passed_my_genetic_engineering_exam_with_flying/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Earth, Wind, and Fire needs to play a concert with Heart and Aqua, so they can finally summon Captain Planet."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "A mouthful for a oneliner, but a great showerthought"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/d3g1dq/earth_wind_and_fire_needs_to_play_a_concert_with/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I went to the docs with hearing problems. He said ''can you describe the symptoms?''. I said ''yeah, Homer's a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair!''"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This would be better suited for r/jokes. This is way more than one line."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9guoez/i_went_to_the_docs_with_hearing_problems_he_said/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Befriending a fish is the only way I'll ever have a sole mate."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Have an upvote, just for the halibut."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/qw087r/befriending_a_fish_is_the_only_way_ill_ever_have/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I wouldn't stoop so low to call someone short to their face."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I tried to think of a clever comeback but came up short."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/zbo3bv/i_wouldnt_stoop_so_low_to_call_someone_short_to/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Never take the 'P' out of a pirate..... as he becomes very angry."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I have smol brain explain pls"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/iqohkh/never_take_the_p_out_of_a_pirate_as_he_becomes/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Always use a condom when having phone sex, or you might get hearing aids."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This has probably been the best joke I've ever been told"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/dufoo0/always_use_a_condom_when_having_phone_sex_or_you/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "the son of a DR goes to collect a takeaway"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...as he always did following the doctor's orders."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/ojz8wf/the_son_of_a_dr_goes_to_collect_a_takeaway/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "There's plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I'm stuck here just holding my rod."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Post with no comments and more than 100 upvotes give me anxiety, how did 115 other people not think of anything to say about this it’s the bes... | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/efq2n5/theres_plenty_of_fish_in_the_sea_but_until_i/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I remember 2022 as if it was only yesterday"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I bet you've been waiting all year to say that one."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/100gs20/i_remember_2022_as_if_it_was_only_yesterday/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I used to think I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine Asian."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "*imagined Asian."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/764b4h/i_used_to_think_i_had_a_japanese_friend_but_it/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If I could make a living watching porn, I'd be making money hand over fist."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Ha you joke, but I legitimately work for Brazzers/the Pornhub network. (I work for Mindgeek)."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/6niaye/if_i_could_make_a_living_watching_porn_id_be/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How many fingers do you need to change a light bulb?...."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "1 but it gets a lot of glass shards everywhere"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/k88fdi/how_many_fingers_do_you_need_to_change_a_light/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I don't trust stairs... they always look like they're up to something."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What a downer"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9hf4tu/i_dont_trust_stairs_they_always_look_like_theyre/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What is the dumbest joke that made you laugh?\nMine is \"What did the seal with one fin say to the shark? If seal is broken, do not consume.\"\n\n\nEdit: I did not expect so much comments. Thank you! It is like having a comment page of dad jokes :)"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/10x38pj/what_is_the_dumbest_joke_that_made_you_laugh/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "All those who generalize are morons."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Only a sith deals in absolutes."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/qnwo6e/all_those_who_generalize_are_morons/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How do you get a History major off your front porch?\nPay for the pizza."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "My friend was a history major and now works for the UN and lives in Madrid. I was a business major and now eek out a living in a cubicle at a software company that... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bq7gh/how_do_you_get_a_history_major_off_your_front/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Why did the vietnamese cat fall off the tree?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Because he tripped. But he was alright because cats land on all Pho feet."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/fm2kh3/why_did_the_vietnamese_cat_fall_off_the_tree/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "“I don’t know how much longer my liver can handle this.”"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "If I don't stop, it will turn into a die-er."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/mr67qi/i_dont_know_how_much_longer_my_liver_can_handle/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A conversation I had today\n(Context: I'm wearing a jacket indoors)\n\nOther person: Hey, are you cold?\n\nMe: No.\n\nOther person: Then why are you wearing a jacket?\n\nMe: Because I don't want to be cold."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "uR too kind ... i woulda said... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/yrjoh6/a_conversation_i_had_today/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "9 out of 10 people agree that in surveys of 10 people, 1 person always disagrees with the other 9"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I once read a \"statistic\" in a newspaper article bashing teachers that said, \"1 out of 10 teachers are performing worse than 90% of the... | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9v6uel/9_out_of_10_people_agree_that_in_surveys_of_10/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?\nIt's not hard"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Don't listen to that guys shit, it's a good joke"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/a9cp8y/how_do_you_spot_a_blind_guy_at_a_nude_beach/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [March 2019]: /r/moai. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/notfunny just like r/funny"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/moai/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Farmers dont give a shit but they do buy and sell it"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It does tend to crop up."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/b27wcz/farmers_dont_give_a_shit_but_they_do_buy_and_sell/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Though the details are now lost to history, the very first followthepunchline joke went a little something like this..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I asked my friend where I could get a drink at the party where everyone was conga dancing. He told me to follow the ... | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/u4u9x3/though_the_details_are_now_lost_to_history_the/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I'm a magician who likes to make cocaine and marijuana disappear by using a bunch of smoke and mirrors."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Amazing Johnathan"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/g0h7w7/im_a_magician_who_likes_to_make_cocaine_and/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Ghandi had sores from walking barefoot, was weak from not eating, and had bad breath from not brushing his teeth. He was a...\nSuper-callused, fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Even though your joke is something quite atrocious."
}
... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/b223n/ghandi_had_sores_from_walking_barefoot_was_weak/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [July 2018]: /r/fruitfaces. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/memritvmemes\n\nOut-of-context pictures of middle eastern TV."... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/fruitfaces/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The reason watches are often given as gifts upon retirement is that there’s no present like the time."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "In Chinese taboo, giving a gift that represents time (watch, clock, etc) symbolises 'running out of time' and you're sending the recip... | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/f34stx/the_reason_watches_are_often_given_as_gifts_upon/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Charming all da ladies ;)\n[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Impressive how he just bounces up on his chair. Powerful af."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/e8qs6y/charming_all_da_ladies/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "For each action, there is an equal & opposite reaction, plus a social media overreaction."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Fuck your joke!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/kckwfo/for_each_action_there_is_an_equal_opposite/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A Mormon checks in to a hotel. [Joke]\nA Mormon checks in to a hotel. As he's leaving the front desk, he says to the clerk \"I hope your porn is disabled.\"\n\nThe clerk replies, \"It's just regular porn, you sick fuck.\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Q: Why is it ... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c5882/a_mormon_checks_in_to_a_hotel_joke/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Ron Swanson Quote (Parks and Recreation)\n“There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Doctor: Do you have any family history of mental illness?\n\nSwanson: I have an uncle ... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/wvfaoj/ron_swanson_quote_parks_and_recreation/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My ex girlfriend said I'm childish and will never be able to change. Little does she know that..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm a grown man and I'll wear this pair of pants until the day I die"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/o6rxdc/my_ex_girlfriend_said_im_childish_and_will_never/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Having erectile dysfunction can’t be that hard"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "easier said then done."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/cd1hzn/having_erectile_dysfunction_cant_be_that_hard/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend.... Flush"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Not exactly a one liner but it's still funny"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/5n0e0c/what_does_the_cannibal_do_after_dumping_his/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What do you call it when a DJ get's a heart attack? A beat drop."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Good joke, not a one liner"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/g3bamw/what_do_you_call_it_when_a_dj_gets_a_heart_attack/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "How can you tell your Nana is getting tired?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "When you realize your driveway shouldn't have any speed bumps."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/qe1wqf/how_can_you_tell_your_nana_is_getting_tired/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A room-temperature superconductor walks into a bar...\nThe bartender says, \"We don't serve room-temperature superconductors in this bar\". The room-temperature superconductor leaves without any resistance."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The tachyon says \"That's ok,... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ca9d9/a_roomtemperature_superconductor_walks_into_a_bar/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name, so I called her Bluff."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Nominative determinism. Bluffy the Poker Player."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/khf1tn/my_wife_threatened_to_divorce_me_when_i_said_i/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "In a grading system of A+, A, B+, B.....so on, I think for computer science student grade 'B' should be called 'C++'"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "C++ would actually be D (ASCII 68) \n\n\nCoder humour is exceptional."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ilnuvf/in_a_grading_system_of_a_a_b_bso_on_i_think_for/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "VIAGRA....It won't make you James Bond, but it would make you Roger Moore."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I see what you did there!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/iwe7j9/viagrait_wont_make_you_james_bond_but_it_would/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Apparently, someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track, leaving Police think it was race related."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The investigation is going in circles"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8y669q/apparently_someone_has_been_shot_with_a_starter/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "According to my Fitbit, I masturbated 4 miles last week."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "With a 5 inch stroke, that means you put out 50,688 strokes."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/xcghle/according_to_my_fitbit_i_masturbated_4_miles_last/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I sure can... I am sitting on my front porch, grabbed a beer and..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...forgot everything I knew about grammatical tense."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/11q6uoa/i_sure_can_i_am_sitting_on_my_front_porch_grabbed/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I don't understand speech bubbles, they go right over my head."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I've got this weird feeling that someone's just putting those words in their mouth."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/6po4c9/i_dont_understand_speech_bubbles_they_go_right/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "...and that concludes my Only Fans exhibition video, thank me all for coming."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "And that concludes today's Bukkake demonstration.\n\nThank you all for coming."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/xlxe82/and_that_concludes_my_only_fans_exhibition_video/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What can you say to a garbage man but not a priest?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I really appreciate the work you do."
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/kzfsgy/what_can_you_say_to_a_garbage_man_but_not_a_priest/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Dating you was like wearing flip flops to Paris.."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "My sole wore out quickly"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/o42cj5/dating_you_was_like_wearing_flip_flops_to_paris/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Oh no, I have to get the fart smell out of my hotel room toot suite"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I don't get it"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/o1o0e2/oh_no_i_have_to_get_the_fart_smell_out_of_my/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A dog walks into NYC..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "And a building collapses"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/ko5x2t/a_dog_walks_into_nyc/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My dad is going to teach me how to solder.\nI'm looking forward to bonding with him."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Oh the iron'y."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/e5kdw/my_dad_is_going_to_teach_me_how_to_solder/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My wife told me that \"Sex is better on holiday\". It wasn't a very nice thing to read on the postcard"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Do you know what oneliner means?"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/6zo8ja/my_wife_told_me_that_sex_is_better_on_holiday_it/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Apathy is a growing problem and nobody seems to care"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Ignorance is just as big a problem, but nobody knows about it."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/1024pnx/apathy_is_a_growing_problem_and_nobody_seems_to/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "People pronouncing Kyiv wrong is my new pet Pyiv."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "an historic moment"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/t41okf/people_pronouncing_kyiv_wrong_is_my_new_pet_pyiv/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What do you call a Mexican crab?\nA pinchy cabron."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What do you call a Chinese crab? A crust-asian. \n\nI just made that up, how’d I do?"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/vg8kqh/what_do_you_call_a_mexican_crab/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Technically, sperm is a bodybuilding supplement."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "If this were really the case, OPs mom would look like Arnold Schwarzenegger."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/74uegr/technically_sperm_is_a_bodybuilding_supplement/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players, but the servers are currently down."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "They're depressed because love means nothing to them."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8ndyn5/ive_made_a_website_for_depressed_tennis_players/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "We know that the spy balloon was not from Germany because they would have used 99 red balloons"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Don't quit your day job"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/10uk17u/we_know_that_the_spy_balloon_was_not_from_germany/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I bought my friend a get better soon card. He isn't ill, I just think he could do better"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/twoliners"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/a8942u/i_bought_my_friend_a_get_better_soon_card_he_isnt/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My quasi-techsavvy uncle just told me I was spending too much time on \"regedit\".\n... meaning Reddit."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "After coming to work bleary-eyed from staying up too late on Reddit (\"one more page and I\"m going to bed\"), I've more than once r... | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/9zf22/my_quasitechsavvy_uncle_just_told_me_i_was/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I've always wondered why a Frisbee appears to get larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "minor tweak: omit \"the closer it gets\""
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7lb75u/ive_always_wondered_why_a_frisbee_appears_to_get/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Let's guess reddit people's jobs as thinking their nickname.\nEveryone should guess, who wrote before him. I just want to try this."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You work in an aquarium."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5x09ww/lets_guess_reddit_peoples_jobs_as_thinking_their/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "To the person who stole my place in the queue, I’m after you now!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Following"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/14gv3rm/to_the_person_who_stole_my_place_in_the_queue_im/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "For a song called Piano Man, the guy with the harmonica won't shut the hell up."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Finally! Thank you!"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/zq5sen/for_a_song_called_piano_man_the_guy_with_the/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Apparently Dwarfism is a growing problem"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Repost and not original, stolen from jimmy carr"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/s0nu3i/apparently_dwarfism_is_a_growing_problem/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "TIL pigeons die after having sex...well at the least one I fucked did"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Wow this one made me lol"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/numj0o/til_pigeons_die_after_having_sexwell_at_the_least/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job but at least it puts food on the table."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I cleaned up as a dishwasher."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/vjm135/being_a_waiter_may_not_be_a_very_glamorous_job/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What did the apple employee say when his CEO was kidnapped?\ndey took eur jobs!!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "shame on you"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dnyiv/what_did_the_apple_employee_say_when_his_ceo_was/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Vampires aren’t usually good at math unless you Count Dracula."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You forget to Count von Count"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/14fz8xo/vampires_arent_usually_good_at_math_unless_you/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Can we get a tasteless jokes thread going?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bm4xy/can_we_get_a_tasteless_jokes_thread_going/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Today, I learned a painful life lesson.\nYou can't outrun your farts on a treadmill."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I've heard you can. I'm guessing you just ran out of gas.\n\nWORST PUN EVER!!"
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/eri12/today_i_learned_a_painful_life_lesson/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "TIFU by being the only American on a German U-Boat.\nWhoops, wrong sub."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Have an upboat."
}
] | funny | https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3zpz25/tifu_by_being_the_only_american_on_a_german_uboat/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "\"Mars looks like the sort of place they could've faked the moon landings...\" - Milton Jones"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Dude, I love that guy."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/lxwz94/mars_looks_like_the_sort_of_place_they_couldve/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "This morning, instead of calling in sick again, I went to work for the first time in 9 months."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm rejoining the work force in baby steps"
}
] | FollowThePunchline | https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/i3e3x2/this_morning_instead_of_calling_in_sick_again_i/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "When life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Men prefer melons over lemons. More than a mouthful…"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ym1jln/when_life_gives_you_melons_you_may_be_dyslexic/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Remember, It’s not drinking alone if you’re pregnant"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/ShittyLifeProTips"
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7nihn6/remember_its_not_drinking_alone_if_youre_pregnant/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If Saddam Hussein had married Little Miss Muffet, would the Kurds have finally had their whey?!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm so glad that someone remembers enough about 1990's politics to make this joke feasible. Brava."
}
] | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/orkv7c/if_saddam_hussein_had_married_little_miss_muffet/ |
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "This amazing trick to keep you from biting on obviously manipulative click-bait will leave you speechless..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Reminds me of what happened a few years back. My friend sent me an article titled \"You will never believe what new word made i... | oneliners | https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/mcl9e7/this_amazing_trick_to_keep_you_from_biting_on/ |
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