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nymemes

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	I lost it in a legal minefield.
	Damn!—And we were this close to an attorney-friendly settlement.
	Lawyers Block
	Gun PLAY, Your Honor, gun PLAY!
	But I gave my lunch money to the special prosecutor yesterday.
	And before you mail your valentines, please make sure your attorney reviews the sexual harassment waiver.
	Objection, Your Honor!—the prosecution is dodgeballing.
	I’m sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers.
	Run, Alison! Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney.
	No Data
	We prefer to remember him the way he was, before he passed the bar.
	No Data
	Will your client marry my client?
	I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I feel it would be best for my client and I to continue to exchange furtive, sidelong glances.
	Quality of Life Crime
	Get with the back beat, counselor!
	And I’d like to get out of this damned suit!
	I’ve sent last minute treatments to all the major studios.
	Hell—let’s exhaust our illegal options, too.
	No Data
	We’re due in court in ten minutes, Counselor—use the big hand!
	I touched a bible once. Yowch!
	It doesn’t scream ‘Girlie Lawyer’?
	Great news! I’ve found someone to feed your cats.
	Do you need more time to prepare, counselor?
	I think we should accept the prosecution’s generous offer of a coin flip.
	Counselor? Is that you?
	There’s been talk of having you disbarred.
	I’m going out for beef chow mein—want anything?
	Hi, Mom—did you get my subpoena?
	It wasn’t a carcinoma at all—it was just an itty-bitty attorney.
	And I got this scuff in a nasty jostle with an overzealous public defender.
	And now I’d like to finalize our little deal by having my attorneys scent mark your office.
	Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything.
	Impartiality becomes you.
	The Law of the Concrete Jungle
	If you change your mind, Replansky, we’ll be down at the senior partners’ swimmin’ hole.
	Lawyer of Arabia
	Counsel is outta here?
	May I remind the witness that a simple ‘I see you’ will suffice.
	Bad news—your DNA was delicious.
	It sure would be swell if your last words didn’t mention that eyewitness who recanted her testimony, the con that confessed to your crime, the DNA test that proved your innocence, or the fact that I slept through most of your trial.
	My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way.
	The governor’s granted your stay, but the zucchini fries tonight.
	You heard the lady, buddy—she already has legal representation!
	And thanks to you, I have to buy myself a brand new lucky tie!
	Careful!—she’ll become enraged if she senses the slightest threat to her clients.
	It’s a nasty little law, Mr. Taylor. Fortunately for you, I’m a nasty little lawyer.
	Wade Gator Ruben, Tax Attorney
	They swabbed and tested every kissed ass in the firm, and Orlitzky’s DNA was a perfect match.
	Fortunately, Mr. O’Brien, a sucker’s attorney is born every half a minute.
	Congratulations, counselor—it’s a baby boy, with a full set of teeth.
	He may be only a junior partner, but remember—his mother destroyed half of Tokyo.
	A word to the wise, counselor: Anymore of these tiresome displays of ethics, and I’ll have you jailed for contempt.
	The Lawyers of the Jungle
	Five years hard candy.
	He’s across the street at the bus stop, but if you send in a high-powered attorney, we can take him from here.
	I’m pre-legal analysis.
	Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?
	King Kong vs The City of New York
	Innocent, Your Honor.
	Sustained!—Prosecution will kindly refrain from flaring its hood.
	I’m taking your case.
	Take your best shot, counselor.
	Portrait of a Serial Attorney
	No Data
	How The Elephant Got His Trunk
	No Data
	Trial by Viagra
	With grades like these, you’ll never afford a decent attorney.
	I wouldn’t—there’s an awful lot of scary-sounding legalese.
	Hi! I’m Edward Sadlon III, your trial-size lawyer.
	What the firm needs, Harrison, are more hardworking, dedicated eunuchs like yourself.
	No Data
	Two boys from legal to see you.
	You seem to be having trouble, James, holding up your end of the conversation.
	Promise me, Eddie, that when I pass away, you won’t make the announcement until after the closing bell so as not to affect the stock market.
	You’re late! And don’t hand me any of that all the king’s horses crap!
	Here’s to the human genome—and its potential in finding, at long last, a cure for the human hangover!
	Legalized Loitering
	No Data
	Good luck with the second hand smoke.
	Oh, we had kids, but we outscored them years ago.
	Our Friday Night Scout
	One more round and then we should probably order.
	We’d like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches.
	A Bar Car Named Desire
	I’m earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.
	My wife doesn’t understand me, especially when she gets wind of situations like this.
	I’m down here, enjoying a quiet beer at the stack-o’-bills-that-I-can’t-pay cafe.
	No Data
	Proust: A Remembrance of Drinks Past
	Careful. Straw in drink is closer than it actually appears.
	Long time no see, Mr. Jimmy. I understand congratulations are in order on your recent engagement, wedding and divorce.
	No Data
	No Data
	No Data
	The ninth circle isn‘t so bad. I’ve heard there are little bowls of Cheez-its at the door.
	No Data
	No Data

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