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transcript/comedy_-59NuLqNTKA.txt

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+[0.000 --> 2.580]  Okay, Cory, now you say to Jessie,
+[3.800 --> 7.020]  her that her body language is scaring me in a way.
+[7.020 --> 8.020]  How?
+[8.020 --> 11.600]  So initially she's pretty open, she seems inviting,
+[11.600 --> 13.440]  but once you start talking to her,
+[13.440 --> 14.920]  it's like she goes lift.
+[14.920 --> 17.440]  Like she'll cut her eyes and she like no other,
+[17.440 --> 20.520]  she'll roll her eyes, she might fo her arms,
+[20.520 --> 22.000]  and if she really's not interested,
+[22.000 --> 23.240]  like let's say she's a guy.
+[23.240 --> 25.680]  She will turn towards her friends, cross her leg,
+[25.680 --> 27.760]  and do like this little uppity hand raise,
+[27.760 --> 29.360]  like why is he talking to me?
+[29.360 --> 31.620]  And nobody wants to talk to somebody like that.
+[31.620 --> 32.460]  Wow.
+[32.460 --> 33.300]  You can't.
+[33.300 --> 34.140]  You can't.
+[34.140 --> 34.980]  You can't.
+[34.980 --> 35.820]  You can't.
+[35.820 --> 36.980]  Now this is interesting.
+[36.980 --> 39.960]  So Jessie, what do you think it is that you're going wrong
+[39.960 --> 41.480]  when it comes to your body language?
+[41.480 --> 42.480]  Okay, Cory's right.
+[42.480 --> 43.400]  Okay, I will.
+[43.400 --> 45.120]  I will look at you.
+[45.120 --> 46.240]  I will fo my arms.
+[46.240 --> 49.120]  I might even lean away, give you a little attitude.
+[49.120 --> 50.120]  Because I'm trying to figure out,
+[50.120 --> 52.400]  if you approach me the wrong way, for example,
+[52.400 --> 54.120]  you come up with a, hey, shout it.
+[54.120 --> 55.440]  Who are you talking to?
+[55.440 --> 57.600]  I don't know why you're talking to me.
+[57.600 --> 59.040]  You can go on about your business,
+[59.040 --> 62.440]  but it's all like what I'm giving at that moment.
+[62.440 --> 64.920]  So if you approach me with an excuse me, Miss,
+[64.920 --> 67.000]  because my daddy raised me right, you know?
+[67.000 --> 69.040]  I know how I'm supposed to be approached
+[69.040 --> 71.680]  and because of him I have these very high standards.
+[71.680 --> 74.440]  So it's all, I'm just giving you back what I receive.
+[74.440 --> 77.960]  So if you give me something that I don't like, yes.
+[77.960 --> 79.520]  I'm trying to figure out who you talking to.
+[79.520 --> 81.200]  And that's why she's single now.
+[81.200 --> 83.280]  Yeah, but see, you just gave it to me.
+[83.280 --> 84.280]  I ain't giving up.
+[84.280 --> 85.760]  You know, you.
+[85.760 --> 88.680]  I'm just giving back what I'm saying.
+[88.680 --> 92.440]  Now, OK, Blanco, based on what you've heard,
+[92.440 --> 94.560]  what do you think Jessie's doing wrong?
+[94.560 --> 96.280]  She has these high expectations.
+[96.280 --> 99.920]  So it's her mindset that if a man is not going to approach her
+[99.920 --> 102.960]  respectfully by her definition, then she's going to shut him off.
+[102.960 --> 104.840]  She's going to turn him off.
+[104.840 --> 106.960]  And that can be a very big mistake.
+[106.960 --> 109.520]  Because he's trying to figure her out.
+[109.520 --> 111.320]  He's trying to figure out a way to approach her.
+[111.320 --> 113.360]  So if her mindset is negative,
+[113.360 --> 115.400]  her body language is naturally going to flow
+[115.400 --> 116.560]  and it's going to be negative.
+[116.560 --> 118.600]  So it makes it hard for someone to come up.
+[118.600 --> 121.360]  If she were to say, have a different mindset and say,
+[121.360 --> 123.240]  all right, let me give him the benefit of the doubt.
+[123.240 --> 125.720]  And smile and make it more inviting.
+[125.720 --> 129.400]  She might be surprised at what might follow.
+[129.400 --> 133.200]  Yeah, I mean, I like that.
+[133.200 --> 136.280]  I like that a lot.
+[136.280 --> 140.600]  Ladies also, let me say this to you and all the ladies listen.
+[140.600 --> 143.240]  Do you understand what it takes for a guy
+[143.240 --> 146.360]  to come up to you in the first place?
+[146.360 --> 148.280]  We all have to grapple with the fact
+[148.280 --> 151.320]  that we could be facing rejection.
+[151.320 --> 154.120]  I think your friend is right for bringing you here because...
+[154.120 --> 155.720]  She mean.
+[155.720 --> 158.280]  OK.
+[158.280 --> 160.040]  I'm nice.
+[160.040 --> 161.280]  You're nice to who?
+[161.280 --> 163.760]  I'm a real bubbly person.
+[163.760 --> 165.080]  Once you get pissed.
+[165.080 --> 166.680]  I'm so serious.
+[166.680 --> 168.040]  You're a real bubbly person?
+[168.040 --> 169.520]  I am so serious, Steve.
+[169.520 --> 170.960]  You're so your bubbly person, William.
+[170.960 --> 172.640]  Once you get pissed, what?
+[172.640 --> 175.000]  If you can get pissed, the...
+[175.000 --> 176.680]  If you can get pissed, then...
+[176.680 --> 177.840]  It's some bubbles back then.
+[177.840 --> 179.040]  It's a whole bunch of bubbles.
+[179.040 --> 181.160]  It's a bubble field.
+[181.160 --> 181.960]  I promise.
+[181.960 --> 183.360]  That's why you buy yourself.
+[183.360 --> 185.120]  LAUGHTER
+[185.120 --> 189.120]  APPLAUSE
+[191.760 --> 194.400]  Because we can't get to the bubble field.
+[194.400 --> 196.600]  See, inviting the guy into the bubble field
+[196.600 --> 199.560]  don't mean that you're going to let him bust the bubbles.
+[199.560 --> 201.080]  But he got to at least be able to know
+[201.080 --> 204.320]  if some damn bubbles back there.
+[204.320 --> 206.800]  You know, that's all it is, man.
+[206.800 --> 208.520]  Well, this is what we're going to do.
+[208.520 --> 210.720]  We're going to put this to the test.
+[210.720 --> 213.880]  Now, over there, we got a bar set up.
+[213.880 --> 214.920]  All right, so let's go.
+[214.920 --> 217.920]  APPLAUSE
+[217.920 --> 219.560]  All right, Zach, come on out.
+[219.560 --> 221.880]  CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
+[221.880 --> 222.880]  Hi.
+[222.880 --> 223.880]  Hi, guys.
+[223.880 --> 224.880]  Hi, guys.
+[224.880 --> 228.320]  After the break, we're going to see how a few simple changes
+[228.320 --> 230.720]  with Jessica's body language
+[230.720 --> 232.280]  can make a world of difference.
+[232.280 --> 234.600]  So when we come back, we're going to find out how this works.
+[234.600 --> 235.800]  Don't go away.
+[235.800 --> 237.800]  There's more to this live experiment.
+[237.800 --> 239.360]  You don't want to miss it.
+[239.360 --> 241.360]  CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
+[242.880 --> 245.360]  Hey, you made it to the end of this video.
+[245.360 --> 247.320]  I got a lot more that you're going to enjoy.
+[247.320 --> 249.760]  So just click to watch the next one
+[249.760 --> 253.560]  and make sure you subscribe to always know what's happening.

transcript/comedy_0cIo0PkBs2c.txt

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+[0.000 --> 16.000]  What can I get started for you today?
+[16.000 --> 18.000]  What's nice?
+[18.000 --> 22.000]  Alright, three empty glasses.
+[22.000 --> 24.000]  Would you care for a pastry?
+[24.000 --> 26.000]  Nope.
+[27.000 --> 28.000]  Uh, mocha.
+[28.000 --> 30.000]  Three mocha lattes.
+[33.000 --> 36.000]  Oh, I double chocolate chip muffin.
+[36.000 --> 37.000]  Yo.
+[41.000 --> 44.000]  You had three palm and cartonies in these.
+[44.000 --> 45.000]  That's them.
+[45.000 --> 48.000]  And I love the Beatles' taste for my life.
+[48.000 --> 50.000]  What's on it?
+[51.000 --> 53.000]  Assassination.
+[53.000 --> 55.000]  Abraham Lincoln.
+[55.000 --> 60.000]  You, me, gun, shoot.
+[60.000 --> 63.000]  Three shots.
+[63.000 --> 65.000]  Hello.
+[65.000 --> 67.000]  A little slurred.
+[67.000 --> 71.000]  Alright, so three lattes, three mochas.
+[71.000 --> 74.000]  Double chocolate chip muffin and three shots.
+[74.000 --> 76.000]  No assassinations.
+[76.000 --> 79.000]  Oh, and three palm and cartonies in these.
+[79.000 --> 82.000]  That's gonna be 68-12.

transcript/comedy_3-ZDJwKu7AI.txt

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+[0.000 --> 2.840]  Welcome to the Daily Show.
+[2.840 --> 4.540]  I'm Michael Costa.
+[4.540 --> 7.480]  We are coming to you live right now.
+[7.480 --> 8.480]  We're live.
+[8.480 --> 10.780]  Oh, sure.
+[10.780 --> 12.940]  The vice president of the bank has just wrapped up.
+[12.940 --> 16.780]  It was right here in New York City and just outside the venue.
+[16.780 --> 19.140]  Each candidate supporters were embodying
+[19.140 --> 23.980]  our forefathers passion for elevated political discourse.
+[23.980 --> 25.980]  We're not going back.
+[25.980 --> 27.500]  We're not going back.
+[27.500 --> 29.180]  So f***ing.
+[29.180 --> 31.180]  We're not going back.
+[31.180 --> 35.180]  Suck my dick, the campaign and a nutshell.
+[35.180 --> 38.180]  Now, before we get into the actual debate,
+[38.180 --> 41.180]  it's important to remember how high the stakes were tonight.
+[41.180 --> 43.180]  They weren't that high.
+[43.180 --> 48.180]  Because as I previously mentioned, it was a vice presidential debate.
+[48.180 --> 51.180]  One of these men will lose and we'll never hear from him again.
+[51.180 --> 55.180]  And the other one will become VP and we'll never hear from him again.
+[55.180 --> 57.180]  So tonight probably won't matter.
+[57.180 --> 59.180]  Much to the voters.
+[59.180 --> 64.180]  But to the news media, it was a historic opportunity to get people to watch TV.
+[64.180 --> 71.180]  Choose your vice as anticipation builds for one of the most crucial VP debates in modern history.
+[71.180 --> 73.180]  One of the biggest moments of the campaign.
+[73.180 --> 76.180]  The most important vice presidential debate in history.
+[76.180 --> 81.180]  What could be the most important vice presidential debate in modern American political history?
+[81.180 --> 84.180]  If you were using your TV outlet for your grandma's life support,
+[84.180 --> 87.180]  it's time to pull the plug on that bitch.
+[87.180 --> 89.180]  That's how big this debate.
+[89.180 --> 91.180]  I mean, are you for real?
+[91.180 --> 95.180]  The most crucial VP debate in history.
+[95.180 --> 101.180]  The only other VP debate anyone remembers is the time that fly got stuck on Mike Pence's head.
+[101.180 --> 103.180]  The bar is low.
+[103.180 --> 106.180]  Now, for those of you just tuning in to the presidential race,
+[106.180 --> 108.180]  which, by the way, congratulations.
+[108.180 --> 111.180]  That must be nice. Just tuning in.
+[111.180 --> 114.180]  Let me break down who these two men are.
+[114.180 --> 118.180]  There's Tim Walls, Minnesota governor and the neighbor from Home Improvement,
+[118.180 --> 125.180]  and JD Vance, Ohio Senator and Guy with the Social Skills of Chat GPT.
+[125.180 --> 128.180]  On paper, they have a lot in common.
+[128.180 --> 130.180]  They're both Midwestern dads.
+[130.180 --> 132.180]  They both have military backgrounds.
+[132.180 --> 134.180]  They both hate Donald Trump.
+[134.180 --> 137.180]  They both watch Shawshank every time it's on TV,
+[137.180 --> 139.180]  even though they have it on DVD.
+[139.180 --> 141.180]  But as much as these guys have in common,
+[141.180 --> 144.180]  they've been going pretty hard to each other over this campaign.
+[144.180 --> 146.180]  Walls is repeatedly called Vance Weird.
+[146.180 --> 149.180]  He made a joke about him banging a couch.
+[149.180 --> 154.180]  And worst of all, he implied that he's a fancy boy.
+[154.180 --> 158.180]  Like all regular people I grew up with in the heartland JD study to Yale.
+[158.180 --> 162.180]  He's Yale log guy. I'm a public school teacher.
+[162.180 --> 165.180]  We don't need a Yale educated philosophy major.
+[165.180 --> 169.180]  We had 24 kids in my high school class.
+[169.180 --> 171.180]  And none of them went to Yale.
+[171.180 --> 175.180]  Oh, shit.
+[175.180 --> 179.180]  Check out this bitch in his quality education.
+[179.180 --> 183.180]  I get what Tim Walls is doing, but he's up a little.
+[183.180 --> 186.180]  I mean, the only person who talks more about going to Yale than Tim Walls
+[186.180 --> 188.180]  is everyone who went to Yale.
+[188.180 --> 192.180]  But Vance's attacks on Walls have been just his personal.
+[192.180 --> 194.180]  He's accused Walls of stolen valor.
+[194.180 --> 196.180]  He's claimed he's a compulsive liar.
+[196.180 --> 200.180]  And he even suggested that Walls doesn't actually love his wife.
+[200.180 --> 202.180]  Talk about Weird with Tim Walls.
+[202.180 --> 205.180]  I don't know if you guys saw the rally yesterday.
+[205.180 --> 210.180]  But afterwards, his wife comes up to him and Tim Walls does what any normal Midwestern guy would do,
+[210.180 --> 213.180]  seeing his beautiful wife on stage after his speech.
+[213.180 --> 215.180]  He gives her a firm handshake.
+[215.180 --> 217.180]  Right? That's pretty weird.
+[217.180 --> 221.180]  Yeah, come on Tim. Fingerblaster wife, dude.
+[222.180 --> 225.180]  It's a rally, not a few in Rome.
+[225.180 --> 228.180]  A real man greets his wife, Doggy Style.
+[228.180 --> 231.180]  What do you do?
+[231.180 --> 233.180]  Also, to be fair to Tim Walls,
+[233.180 --> 236.180]  a Minnesota affirm handshake is considered third base.
+[236.180 --> 240.180]  But even though it's been personal between these two,
+[240.180 --> 242.180]  both Vance and Walls are professionals.
+[242.180 --> 247.180]  And that means engaging in the traditional pre-debate game of lowering expectations.
+[248.180 --> 253.180]  It's a careful strategy where you hype up your opponent's debating skills while downplaying yours,
+[253.180 --> 256.180]  so that even a mediocre performance seems like a win.
+[256.180 --> 260.180]  Let's see how Tim Walls handled his attempt to lower expectations.
+[260.180 --> 266.180]  Sources now tell CNN that Tim Walls is fighting off a case of the nerves ahead of his debate with Senator JD Vance.
+[266.180 --> 270.180]  He is said to be nervous that he might let Kamala Harris down.
+[270.180 --> 274.180]  And we know he did warn Harris during the vetting process that he's a bad debater.
+[274.180 --> 278.180]  Okay, that might be lowering expectations too much.
+[278.180 --> 282.180]  Tim, you want to be more like my opponent is a slick talker,
+[282.180 --> 286.180]  not me talk bad, disappoint pretty lady.
+[286.180 --> 289.180]  You want, I'm new to all this, not, I'm so stupid,
+[289.180 --> 293.180]  a dog used peanut butter to trick me into licking his balls.
+[293.180 --> 298.180]  Me, well, on the Republican side, Donald Trump took a swing
+[298.180 --> 301.180]  at lowering expectations for JD Vance.
+[301.180 --> 307.180]  Now remember, Mr. Trump, the goal is to subtly suggest that JD Vance might have a hard time at the debate
+[307.180 --> 310.180]  because he's going up against a skilled debater. Show us.
+[310.180 --> 312.180]  He's going up against a moron.
+[312.180 --> 314.180]  A total moron.
+[314.180 --> 317.180]  Crushed it.
+[317.180 --> 320.180]  But it wasn't just the candidates preparing for the debate.
+[320.180 --> 324.180]  The debate moderators were also trying to find ways to keep them honest.
+[324.180 --> 330.180]  Now, with the last debate between Kamala and Trump, ABC got heat for live fact checking the whole dogs and cats thing.
+[330.180 --> 333.180]  So tonight, CBS took a different approach.
+[333.180 --> 337.180]  CBS says there will be no live fact checking by the moderators,
+[337.180 --> 341.180]  but the broadcast will feature a QR code on the screen,
+[341.180 --> 346.180]  which will link to a real-time fact check being done by CBS journalists.
+[346.180 --> 349.180]  Yes, a QR code.
+[349.180 --> 351.180]  Perfect journalism.
+[351.180 --> 356.180]  When a candidate tells a lie why correct it for the 50 million people watching live,
+[356.180 --> 360.180]  just have a link for the 12 nerds who bother scanning it.
+[360.180 --> 363.180]  Am I supposed to be impressed that they have a QR code?
+[363.180 --> 365.180]  Every asshole has a QR code.
+[365.180 --> 367.180]  We even have one right here.
+[367.180 --> 372.180]  Yeah, it's just a menu for a Mexican restaurant I went to during the pandemic, but still.
+[372.180 --> 375.180]  You can scan this if you want.
+[375.180 --> 378.180]  There it is, right there.
+[378.180 --> 381.180]  After all that preparation, the debate finally began at 9 o'clock.
+[381.180 --> 384.180]  And right off the bat, there was a big difference between these guys
+[384.180 --> 388.180]  and Trump's debate with Kamala or Trump's debate with anyone.
+[388.180 --> 392.180]  These guys seem to actually get along.
+[392.180 --> 394.180]  You're going to hear a lot from Tim Walls this evening,
+[394.180 --> 396.180]  and you just heard it in the answer.
+[396.180 --> 398.180]  A lot of what Kamala Harris proposed us to do.
+[398.180 --> 400.180]  And some of it, I'll be honest with you.
+[400.180 --> 401.180]  It even sounds pretty good.
+[401.180 --> 403.180]  So the rhetoric is good.
+[403.180 --> 406.180]  Much of what the Senator said right there, I'm in agreement with him on this.
+[406.180 --> 409.180]  Governor Walls and I actually probably agree that we need to do better on this.
+[409.180 --> 411.180]  I believe Senator Vance wants to solve this.
+[411.180 --> 412.180]  I agree with you.
+[412.180 --> 413.180]  I think you want to solve this problem.
+[413.180 --> 415.180]  I agree with a lot of what Senator Vance said.
+[415.180 --> 417.180]  I actually agree with Tim Walls.
+[417.180 --> 418.180]  Wow.
+[418.180 --> 421.180]  Maybe you two should run together.
+[421.180 --> 423.180]  Yeah.
+[423.180 --> 426.180]  Maybe a date?
+[426.180 --> 428.180]  It seems like you have a lot in common.
+[428.180 --> 430.180]  A hello CBS. It's Tim.
+[430.180 --> 432.180]  We're going to share an Uber home.
+[432.180 --> 437.180]  But seriously, to see two candidates being civil with each other,
+[437.180 --> 439.180]  even though they disagree, it was surprising.
+[439.180 --> 441.180]  And personally, boring is shit.
+[441.180 --> 443.180]  I mean, talk about something interesting.
+[443.180 --> 445.180]  Like, who's going to eat the cats?
+[445.180 --> 448.180]  Nobody's going to turn any of these sound bites into a TikTok.
+[448.180 --> 450.180]  That's not to say the whole thing was cordial.
+[450.180 --> 456.180]  There was one moment where things got so heated, the moderators had to take matters into their own hands.
+[456.180 --> 458.180]  Well, more.
+[458.180 --> 459.180]  But thank you, Senator.
+[459.180 --> 460.180]  We have so much to get to.
+[460.180 --> 464.180]  I think it's important because the big, Margaret, thank you, Senator.
+[464.180 --> 465.180]  Thank you.
+[465.180 --> 466.180]  Thank you, Senator.
+[466.180 --> 467.180]  Thank you, Senator.
+[467.180 --> 469.180]  Thank you, Senator, for describing the legal process.
+[469.180 --> 471.180]  We have so much to get into, Senator.
+[471.180 --> 472.180]  We want to have...
+[472.180 --> 474.180]  The key to the report is not been on the books.
+[474.180 --> 475.180]  It's something to tell you.
+[475.180 --> 476.180]  It's something to tell you.
+[476.180 --> 480.180]  The audience can't hear you because your mics are cut.
+[480.180 --> 487.180]  Okay, now, that's within the rules, but it did seem like they kind of enjoyed it.
+[487.180 --> 492.180]  No one can hear you because we cut the mics.
+[492.180 --> 497.180]  Speaking as a voter who's been watching this campaign for like the last 200 years,
+[497.180 --> 499.180]  this might have been my favorite moment.
+[499.180 --> 503.180]  If Nora and Margaret could offer everybody in America a button that mutes politicians,
+[503.180 --> 505.180]  we would elect that ticket.
+[505.180 --> 510.180]  Now, for a lot of America, this debate was the first introduction to the VP candidates,
+[510.180 --> 516.180]  and we learned a lot about their positions, like Walt's had this droopy dog position.
+[516.180 --> 520.180]  And JD Vance had this position.
+[520.180 --> 525.180]  But they both surprised me a bit.
+[525.180 --> 530.180]  For example, when talking about immigration, Walt's quoted a book.
+[530.180 --> 532.180]  I didn't think Democrats had ever read.
+[532.180 --> 535.180]  I guess it's called the... the Bibble?
+[535.180 --> 543.180]  I don't talk about my faith a lot, but Matthew 2540 talks about to the least amongst us you do unto me.
+[543.180 --> 547.180]  Wow, Tim Walsh has really stolen every Republican stick.
+[547.180 --> 548.180]  He's... he's folksy.
+[548.180 --> 550.180]  He's in the cars.
+[550.180 --> 551.180]  Hunts quotes the Bible.
+[551.180 --> 558.180]  You know, what's next? He's going to find out he's the webmaster of nudeafrica.com.
+[558.180 --> 561.180]  And we learned a surprising thing about Vance as well.
+[561.180 --> 565.180]  He does support diversity in certain circumstances.
+[565.180 --> 568.180]  Let the individual states make their abortion policy.
+[568.180 --> 573.180]  And I think that's what makes the most sense in a very big, a very diverse and divided country.
+[573.180 --> 577.180]  We can be a big and diverse country where we respect people's freedom of conscience.
+[577.180 --> 581.180]  Donald Trump has been very clear that on the abortion policy specifically,
+[581.180 --> 585.180]  that we have a big country and it's diverse.
+[585.180 --> 589.180]  Yeah, okay. You see America? Republicans do support diversity.
+[589.180 --> 593.180]  Some states believe Lymn should have rights and some don't.
+[593.180 --> 596.180]  It's the beautiful tapestry of America.
+[596.180 --> 600.180]  Now, if you remember, Tim did tell Kamala he was a bad debater.
+[600.180 --> 603.180]  And there was one moment in this debate when I said,
+[603.180 --> 606.180]  yeah, yeah, he is. Fact check, true.
+[606.180 --> 612.180]  You said you were in Hong Kong during the deadly Tiananmen Square protests in the spring of 1989.
+[612.180 --> 621.180]  But Minnesota Public Radio and other media outlets are reporting that you actually didn't travel to Asia until August of that year.
+[621.180 --> 623.180]  Can you explain that discrepancy?
+[623.180 --> 627.180]  All I said on this was I got there that summer and misspoke on this.
+[627.180 --> 631.180]  So I will just, that's what I've said.
+[631.180 --> 637.180]  So I was in Hong Kong and China during the democracy protests went in.
+[637.180 --> 642.180]  And from that, I learned a lot of what needed to be in governance.
+[642.180 --> 644.180]  Damn.
+[644.180 --> 652.180]  You know you're blowing the Tiananmen Square question when you look more nervous than the dude staring down the tank.
+[652.180 --> 659.180]  If you didn't like that joke, here's a QR code you can scan.
+[659.180 --> 663.180]  To get a refund for this portion of the show.
+[663.180 --> 665.180]  Thank you.
+[665.180 --> 668.180]  You don't know how much time we spent on those QR codes.
+[668.180 --> 671.180]  Now, Vance, on the other hand, to his credit, did a great job in the debate.
+[671.180 --> 675.180]  He was smooth, he was confident, he was prepared.
+[675.180 --> 678.180]  The only problem he may have had was his memory.
+[678.180 --> 684.180]  Donald Trump's economic policies delivered the highest take home pay in a generation in this country,
+[684.180 --> 689.180]  1.5% inflation and tabooed peace and security all over the world.
+[689.180 --> 691.180]  Peace around the world.
+[691.180 --> 694.180]  There wasn't even peace in this country.
+[694.180 --> 697.180]  The only time there was peace was when we were all locked in our house,
+[697.180 --> 700.180]  cleaning our vegetables with chlorox wipes.
+[700.180 --> 703.180]  Wipes I stole from my neighbor and sold them on eBay,
+[703.180 --> 706.180]  which did increase my take home pay.
+[706.180 --> 708.180]  So thank you, Donald Trump.
+[708.180 --> 710.180]  Now.
+[710.180 --> 713.180]  So what did we learn about tonight?
+[713.180 --> 718.180]  Well, first, let's be honest, 99% of voters will not care about the VP debate.
+[718.180 --> 719.180]  That's a fact.
+[719.180 --> 722.180]  If you want to check it, you can scan this QR code.
+[722.180 --> 726.180]  We had to do one more, which will open up your internet browser,
+[726.180 --> 727.180]  and you can Google it yourself.
+[727.180 --> 730.180]  I'm busy, I'm hosting a live TV show, okay?
+[730.180 --> 734.180]  But aside from that, the thing I took away from this debate was that both of these men,
+[734.180 --> 737.180]  they made the Midwest proud, all right?
+[737.180 --> 740.180]  This debate was an oasis of Midwesternice.
+[740.180 --> 746.180]  And just like Midwesternice, it was a mask covering deep-seated hatred and resentment.
+[746.180 --> 750.180]  Don't let 90 minutes of them in a room together fool you.
+[750.180 --> 753.180]  These men represent two movements that are at each other's throats,
+[753.180 --> 756.180]  and their visions for America are radically different.
+[756.180 --> 760.180]  So tonight might have been all I agree, and my friend has a point,
+[760.180 --> 763.180]  but tomorrow morning, we're all going to be back to this.
+[763.180 --> 765.180]  We're not going back!
+[765.180 --> 767.180]  We're not going back!
+[767.180 --> 768.180]  So my...
+[768.180 --> 770.180]  So my...

transcript/comedy_4TIIdrOfbls.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,278 @@
+[0.000 --> 1.000]  What's the problem?
+[1.000 --> 2.000]  Why is this a problem?
+[2.000 --> 3.000]  Getting a sandwich.
+[3.000 --> 4.000]  It's a sandwich.
+[4.000 --> 7.000]  I got behind the lady.
+[7.000 --> 17.840]  It looked like it was her first time out ever.
+[17.840 --> 19.840]  Just to look at confusion.
+[19.840 --> 20.840]  Be wilderness.
+[20.840 --> 27.840]  I came up to the counter.
+[27.840 --> 36.840]  How does this work here?
+[36.840 --> 38.840]  What do you do?
+[38.840 --> 40.840]  It says step one.
+[40.840 --> 41.840]  Big bread.
+[41.840 --> 49.840]  You don't see it.
+[49.840 --> 53.840]  How do you make a sandwich at home?
+[53.840 --> 63.840]  We just start throwing ham over the table.
+[63.840 --> 67.840]  Big the bread.
+[67.840 --> 72.840]  And she saw the condiments her head almost popped off her body.
+[72.840 --> 75.840]  She was sitting there looking at the condiments telling the guy,
+[75.840 --> 76.840]  not that tomato.
+[76.840 --> 79.840]  No, the third one underneath that one on the side.
+[79.840 --> 81.840]  I want that tomato.
+[81.840 --> 88.840]  It's not a puppy.
+[88.840 --> 89.840]  Making up.
+[89.840 --> 90.840]  There's rules at subway.
+[90.840 --> 91.840]  You got to follow.
+[91.840 --> 94.840]  This woman is like, I don't want any of those cucumbers or olives.
+[94.840 --> 96.840]  So double up on the turkey.
+[96.840 --> 99.840]  Hit don't work there.
+[99.840 --> 101.840]  The sandwich is $5.
+[101.840 --> 104.840]  There's a net profit of four cents on it.
+[104.840 --> 109.840]  And you want double meat for no fetch.
+[109.840 --> 110.840]  Never stay with people.
+[110.840 --> 111.840]  It's weird.
+[111.840 --> 112.840]  They put you in some weird room.
+[112.840 --> 121.840]  Nobody uses single bed, star warsheets, dark bait or C-3 feel.
+[121.840 --> 122.840]  Can't even get comfortable.
+[122.840 --> 123.840]  Ever get into somebody's bed.
+[123.840 --> 124.840]  It's weird.
+[124.840 --> 125.840]  You get in.
+[125.840 --> 127.840]  You can't.
+[127.840 --> 128.840]  Look to the left.
+[128.840 --> 129.840]  There's a bugger wall.
+[129.840 --> 132.840]  Somebody started a bugger wall.
+[132.840 --> 142.840]  Try and get comfortable.
+[142.840 --> 145.840]  You can't.
+[145.840 --> 149.840]  The owner's always come in and knock on the door and tell you what's wrong with the house.
+[149.840 --> 151.840]  You always get that little knock.
+[151.840 --> 153.840]  Are you sleeping?
+[153.840 --> 155.840]  No, I'm going to stand.
+[155.840 --> 156.840]  Why?
+[156.840 --> 158.840]  You got a bugger wall here to your left.
+[158.840 --> 160.840]  You haven't seen that yet.
+[160.840 --> 163.840]  Not the...
+[163.840 --> 168.840]  They tell you just before you go to bed so you know the toilet in the hallway do not flush that.
+[168.840 --> 173.840]  If you do, we're going to have to evacuate the home.
+[173.840 --> 175.840]  When you shower cold is hot.
+[175.840 --> 176.840]  Hot is cold.
+[176.840 --> 179.840]  We've been trying to fix that for years.
+[179.840 --> 183.840]  When you're done showering, we ask if you could please squeegee.
+[183.840 --> 186.840]  Squeegee?
+[186.840 --> 189.840]  I mean, I'm going to get clean.
+[189.840 --> 190.840]  Now naked.
+[190.840 --> 196.840]  I got a search for some weird wine that lives in your shower for 23 years.
+[196.840 --> 207.840]  Take the wine and start wiping off shower pellets as my balls touch the tile.
+[207.840 --> 212.840]  What do I work here?
+[212.840 --> 216.840]  I'm not cleaning the shower.
+[216.840 --> 218.840]  This whole town is going nuts with yogurt.
+[218.840 --> 219.840]  What's going on?
+[219.840 --> 222.840]  With yogurt.
+[222.840 --> 224.840]  Everybody's dying for yogurt.
+[224.840 --> 226.840]  They see like a pink berry.
+[226.840 --> 230.840]  They're like, I want to go get some pink berry.
+[230.840 --> 236.840]  I'm not a yogurt guy, but I had to go look to see what the problem was.
+[236.840 --> 238.840]  I'm sitting in line.
+[238.840 --> 240.840]  I'm watching people eat the yogurt.
+[240.840 --> 242.840]  Everybody had a sample before they got...
+[242.840 --> 244.840]  What is this the sampling?
+[244.840 --> 247.840]  I don't do samples.
+[247.840 --> 251.840]  These two women came up so proud of themselves.
+[251.840 --> 254.840]  Do you have the pomegranate?
+[254.840 --> 260.840]  Can we try the pomegranate?
+[260.840 --> 266.840]  They were so happy that we're going to get a free lick.
+[266.840 --> 268.840]  Now the guy's got to turn around.
+[268.840 --> 273.840]  He's got to fill up a little pixie lick cup.
+[273.840 --> 275.840]  And he hands it out.
+[275.840 --> 277.840]  Roll women, but they're like kids when they get it.
+[277.840 --> 282.840]  They're like, oh!
+[282.840 --> 284.840]  It's good!
+[284.840 --> 288.840]  I like this one.
+[288.840 --> 291.840]  I don't do any of this.
+[291.840 --> 293.840]  I just got the green tea.
+[293.840 --> 295.840]  If I don't like it...
+[295.840 --> 305.840]  What the fuck?
+[305.840 --> 309.840]  You think I'm going to hold up 12 people's day?
+[309.840 --> 312.840]  Licking her?
+[312.840 --> 316.840]  Yeah, you think it.
+[316.840 --> 318.840]  Now I think some nuts.
+[318.840 --> 320.840]  My wife didn't grow up with this mentality.
+[320.840 --> 323.840]  I get this all from my dad.
+[323.840 --> 325.840]  My wife didn't grow up with me.
+[325.840 --> 329.840]  My wife's family is entirely different than my family.
+[329.840 --> 332.840]  My family, we talk a lot.
+[332.840 --> 336.840]  Everything's out in the open on my side of the family.
+[336.840 --> 339.840]  In my family, if you got a problem,
+[339.840 --> 342.840]  somebody's going to tell you.
+[342.840 --> 345.840]  You got a problem.
+[345.840 --> 347.840]  If you stink, something like that.
+[347.840 --> 350.840]  What the fuck is this?
+[353.840 --> 358.840]  I stink!
+[358.840 --> 366.840]  I don't know.
+[366.840 --> 368.840]  We are so honest.
+[368.840 --> 371.840]  Nobody gets their feelings hurt in my family.
+[371.840 --> 376.840]  Nobody's got feelings.
+[376.840 --> 378.840]  My wife is always happy.
+[378.840 --> 380.840]  Even when bad things go wrong,
+[380.840 --> 382.840]  she's always what a smile this woman.
+[382.840 --> 385.840]  She came home last month.
+[385.840 --> 389.840]  She's like, babe, I don't know what happened.
+[389.840 --> 393.840]  I was begging how parking lot at the mall.
+[393.840 --> 399.840]  I just side-swiped a cement pile on it.
+[399.840 --> 401.840]  It's just a grace.
+[401.840 --> 403.840]  It's a small grace.
+[403.840 --> 409.840]  You could probably buff it out or use some carnubo wax to just...
+[409.840 --> 413.840]  You know?
+[413.840 --> 416.840]  Now, my immediate reaction is to yell.
+[416.840 --> 418.840]  That's how I grew up.
+[418.840 --> 423.840]  High volume.
+[423.840 --> 426.840]  I'd come home with a flat tire on my bicycle.
+[426.840 --> 429.840]  My father would be like, what the fuck is this?
+[429.840 --> 432.840]  I don't know.
+[432.840 --> 436.840]  I didn't see it in there.
+[439.840 --> 450.840]  My wife's side is like really happy and they encourage things.
+[450.840 --> 454.840]  They do retreats as a family.
+[454.840 --> 457.840]  They work on their inner self.
+[457.840 --> 462.840]  We work on our inner self.
+[462.840 --> 464.840]  They do therapy.
+[464.840 --> 466.840]  My family don't do any of this.
+[466.840 --> 469.840]  I don't know therapy, no bettering.
+[469.840 --> 471.840]  I was like, this is it.
+[471.840 --> 473.840]  What are you going to do?
+[473.840 --> 474.840]  Change?
+[474.840 --> 477.840]  This is you.
+[477.840 --> 480.840]  No one's popping pills on my side.
+[480.840 --> 483.840]  Nobody's on anti-depressants.
+[483.840 --> 487.840]  My father's like, I've been depressed for 30 years.
+[497.840 --> 500.840]  We talk about each other in a family.
+[500.840 --> 503.840]  I call my mother, we talk about the entire family.
+[503.840 --> 505.840]  We talk about my sister.
+[505.840 --> 507.840]  You talk to Jessica?
+[507.840 --> 509.840]  Yeah, I don't call her.
+[509.840 --> 511.840]  It's all...
+[511.840 --> 515.840]  You're having a tough go of it.
+[515.840 --> 517.840]  Not my wife's family.
+[517.840 --> 519.840]  They don't say nothing on that side.
+[519.840 --> 521.840]  Nobody knows.
+[521.840 --> 523.840]  I listen.
+[523.840 --> 525.840]  I listen.
+[525.840 --> 527.840]  My wife skypes with her mother.
+[527.840 --> 529.840]  I can hear them talking.
+[529.840 --> 531.840]  What's going on over there?
+[531.840 --> 532.840]  Oh, nothing.
+[532.840 --> 534.840]  Everything's gone here.
+[534.840 --> 536.840]  What's going on over there?
+[536.840 --> 539.840]  And I pass away.
+[542.840 --> 546.840]  After she get off, I ask my wife, what would your mom say?
+[546.840 --> 548.840]  Everything's good.
+[548.840 --> 550.840]  Ain't good.
+[550.840 --> 553.840]  Dig, dig for the story.
+[556.840 --> 558.840]  Get down, be figured it out.
+[558.840 --> 561.840]  There's shit happening.
+[564.840 --> 565.840]  I talked to my mother.
+[565.840 --> 567.840]  I get it all from her.
+[567.840 --> 573.840]  As soon as I hang up, I can't wait to tell my wife what I found out.
+[573.840 --> 576.840]  As soon as I hang up the phone, I go back to pour yourself a glass of wine.
+[576.840 --> 578.840]  Meet me outside.
+[578.840 --> 582.840]  You're not going to believe what's going on with my cousins.
+[586.840 --> 588.840]  I got juice.
+[591.840 --> 595.840]  Now, my wife's father passed away 15 years ago.
+[595.840 --> 597.840]  I never got a chance to meet the man.
+[597.840 --> 600.840]  So we go to the cemetery.
+[600.840 --> 604.840]  Now, prior to his death, he bought a plaque for himself.
+[604.840 --> 607.840]  A plaque for his wife.
+[607.840 --> 612.840]  Well, the wife has since remarried.
+[612.840 --> 614.840]  Okay.
+[626.840 --> 630.840]  So, we go to the cemetery and I'm holding my wife's hands.
+[630.840 --> 633.840]  A very emotional day for us.
+[633.840 --> 635.840]  Oh, for me, listen, I got to be honest with you.
+[635.840 --> 638.840]  I'm the emotional one in the relationship.
+[638.840 --> 640.840]  I cry no problem.
+[640.840 --> 643.840]  Undercover box? Forget it.
+[643.840 --> 646.840]  I'm balling at the end of that show.
+[646.840 --> 649.840]  Oh, my God.
+[652.840 --> 654.840]  So we go to the cemetery.
+[654.840 --> 656.840]  I'm holding my wife's hand.
+[656.840 --> 658.840]  We approach the two graves.
+[658.840 --> 659.840]  Now, I'm sitting there.
+[659.840 --> 661.840]  My heart is bleeding from my wife.
+[661.840 --> 662.840]  She got no father.
+[662.840 --> 667.840]  But the other side of my brain kicks in.
+[667.840 --> 675.840]  I said, is your mother still going to get buried here with the original?
+[675.840 --> 677.840]  Or...
+[677.840 --> 683.840]  Oh, she's going to get buried with the new husband.
+[683.840 --> 684.840]  What's going on?
+[684.840 --> 686.840]  Because this is paid for.
+[686.840 --> 687.840]  It's paid for.
+[687.840 --> 690.840]  And who's going in the hall?
+[690.840 --> 691.840]  We got to figure this out.
+[691.840 --> 693.840]  I'll hop in here.
+[693.840 --> 695.840]  In the meantime, we got to use this.
+[695.840 --> 700.840]  Maybe for storage, we'll put the Christmas tree here.
+[700.840 --> 701.840]  A wreck.
+[701.840 --> 702.840]  Skies.
+[702.840 --> 704.840]  We got to use this.
+[709.840 --> 712.840]  My wife's brain don't work this way.
+[712.840 --> 714.840]  She's like, why would you even think of that?
+[714.840 --> 716.840]  I go, that's why you got me.
+[716.840 --> 719.840]  I think of it.
+[719.840 --> 721.840]  We're calling your mother tonight.
+[721.840 --> 724.840]  We're figuring out who goes where in this park.
+[724.840 --> 729.840]  So now I can't yell at my wife.
+[729.840 --> 733.840]  She does not respond to yelling.
+[733.840 --> 736.840]  Last time I raised my voice, she gave it right back to me.
+[736.840 --> 738.840]  She's like, I don't know what this is.
+[738.840 --> 739.840]  But you better bring this down.
+[739.840 --> 742.840]  And let's talk like adults and resolve it.
+[742.840 --> 744.840]  Okay, let's just resolve it.
+[744.840 --> 745.840]  I think you need some therapy.
+[745.840 --> 752.840]  You and your father should get in some type of group retreat for your condition.
+[752.840 --> 755.840]  I don't know.
+[755.840 --> 758.840]  So I can't yell.
+[758.840 --> 760.840]  I got to push it.
+[760.840 --> 766.840]  I got to push this shit, deep.
+[766.840 --> 768.840]  I don't even know who I am anymore.
+[768.840 --> 772.840]  I don't even sound like me.
+[772.840 --> 775.840]  I'm sitting in the kitchen like, yeah, okay.
+[775.840 --> 780.840]  It's just a craze then.
+[780.840 --> 785.840]  I think I could probably buff it out if you said it's a craze.
+[785.840 --> 788.840]  It's a craze.
+[788.840 --> 792.840]  Can we go to the driveway to look at what you call a grazes?
+[792.840 --> 801.840]  Because I'd love to know in your head what you think that is.
+[801.840 --> 802.840]  She's like, yeah, I know.
+[802.840 --> 804.840]  I'll show you.
+[804.840 --> 806.840]  So both of us go out to the driveway.
+[806.840 --> 809.840]  I'm like, we need an outdoor.
+[810.840 --> 814.840]  You can see no women in Canada are in that direction,
+[814.840 --> 815.840]  all wrong?
+[815.840 --> 818.840]  Because they do as they please.
+[818.840 --> 821.840]  I don't even know what that means.
+[821.840 --> 826.840]  I never really knew what this really means.
+[826.840 --> 830.840]  I'm going crazy here.
+[830.840 --> 832.940]  for you to pull in.
+[832.940 --> 835.480]  What are you gonna do? Fix it in your garage?
+[835.480 --> 838.180]  You do body work? I know nobody that does this.
+[838.180 --> 839.480]  I gotta go in.
+[839.480 --> 841.620]  You go to a body shop, everybody comes out.
+[841.620 --> 844.860]  The whole garage.
+[844.860 --> 847.360]  When you pull in, they look at that guy.
+[847.360 --> 848.660]  Hey, we got one.
+[848.660 --> 851.400]  Let's take a look at it.
+[851.400 --> 853.300]  And they swarm the car.
+[853.300 --> 857.440]  They just, I thought I was at a Cirque du Soleil show.
+[857.440 --> 873.020]  And they call out the head guy. It's the best actor they got.
+[873.020 --> 876.460]  Frankie, you wanna take a look at this?
+[876.460 --> 884.900]  As soon as he sees the car, he's like, whoa.
+[884.900 --> 888.580]  Would you get side swipe by a semi?
+[888.580 --> 890.820]  I said, no, my wife calls this a grace.
+[890.820 --> 894.340]  She says, she says you could get it out with some Carnuba wax.
+[894.340 --> 900.540]  I can't open the door, but she says, this is a $9 job with some Carnuba wax.
+[900.540 --> 902.580]  I can't yell or scream at the house.
+[902.580 --> 906.940]  I have to suppress all my emotion and feeling into my feet.
+[906.940 --> 908.540]  And I don't know who I am anymore.
+[908.540 --> 911.460]  But she just says it's a grace.
+[911.460 --> 913.540]  I don't understand why she didn't see anything.
+[913.540 --> 916.900]  We have sensors and a camera in the vehicle.
+[916.900 --> 921.500]  But of course, I couldn't mention that in the heat of the moment, or I'd be sleeping outside
+[921.500 --> 922.500]  on the lawn.
+[922.500 --> 927.660]  So if you could just get out your wax and buff that out, that would be fantastic.

transcript/comedy_561RvnDDap4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,256 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.000]  Today you're going to learn seven easy ways to make people laugh and love being around you.
+[4.000 --> 8.360]  The first is a ridiculously easy way to make people laugh whenever someone asks you a question.
+[8.360 --> 11.640]  Watch this clip of Bobernam and see if you can guess what the technique is.
+[11.640 --> 13.600]  I'm going to several out of young people that say,
+[13.600 --> 17.440]  Bo, how do I get into the business? How do I accomplish what you've accomplished?
+[17.440 --> 17.640]  Yeah.
+[17.640 --> 19.080]  What's your advice for young people?
+[19.080 --> 21.320]  I'd say, well...
+[21.320 --> 24.880]  You gotta just take a deep breath and give up.
+[24.880 --> 26.680]  It's that simple.
+[26.680 --> 31.160]  When someone asks you a question, think of what they expect you to say and say the opposite.
+[31.160 --> 34.840]  This gets the biggest laugh if it's something most people wouldn't say out loud.
+[34.840 --> 37.080]  We're worried about this environmental stuff. You really are worried about it.
+[37.080 --> 40.480]  I am and I'm not. I just also feel like, you know,
+[40.480 --> 43.080]  it'd probably be a good thing if most of us died.
+[43.080 --> 45.480]  You're joy being a mom, this is...
+[45.480 --> 47.080]  That's alright.
+[47.080 --> 52.080]  As you just saw, you can soften this with a smile or a laugh so people know you're joking.
+[52.080 --> 55.160]  If you don't want to go dark with your humor, another great way you can make people laugh
+[55.160 --> 57.480]  is answering questions using Looney Tunes logic.
+[57.480 --> 59.360]  What would the answer be if this were a cartoon?
+[59.360 --> 61.160]  Here are two great examples with Ryan Reynolds.
+[61.160 --> 63.160]  So, and is she good on a plane?
+[63.160 --> 65.480]  She's pretty good, you know?
+[65.480 --> 67.280]  I mean, you know... That's a long flight, I mean...
+[67.280 --> 68.520]  I carry a blow darts up.
+[68.520 --> 71.120]  You know, she's...
+[71.120 --> 73.600]  You know, and then I just inhale one for myself.
+[73.600 --> 79.600]  I'm happy for Paul because, yay, he's possibly the nicest human being in all of show business.
+[79.600 --> 83.400]  He's aging backwards because of his contract with Satan.
+[83.400 --> 89.600]  And... Or he only drinks breast milk from a blue whale or something.
+[89.600 --> 93.120]  Remember, for both these techniques, getting asked a question is your cue.
+[93.120 --> 95.360]  When you're building a new habit, cues are incredibly helpful.
+[95.360 --> 99.240]  So you can go about your social life as normal, and then whenever anyone asks you a question,
+[99.240 --> 102.960]  that's your trigger to either answer the opposite or use Looney Tunes logic.
+[102.960 --> 103.920]  That's how you build the habit.
+[103.920 --> 108.080]  Once you get people laughing, the easiest way to keep them laughing is to double down on your joke.
+[108.080 --> 112.800]  This is often when someone gets to go from, oh, that was a funny joke to, oh, this is a funny person.
+[112.840 --> 116.880]  As an example, listen to Ryan Reynolds talk about his parents the first time he was on Ellen.
+[116.880 --> 120.720]  You know, it's interesting to look at them.
+[120.720 --> 123.240]  To look at them, you'd never know their cannibals.
+[123.240 --> 125.680]  They look just like two normal people.
+[125.680 --> 128.720]  Once he sees he's gotten a laugh from the audience, he doubles down.
+[128.720 --> 130.480]  You're so proud of him right now.
+[130.480 --> 131.880]  I had a sister once.
+[131.880 --> 132.880]  They...
+[135.680 --> 141.280]  If you do this too much, you risk killing the joke, but you're almost always in the clear to follow up once or twice.
+[141.320 --> 145.360]  Notice in this next clip how Sona laughs harder both times Conan doubles down.
+[145.360 --> 147.160]  God, man's man.
+[147.160 --> 148.680]  I am.
+[148.680 --> 151.640]  Women want to be with me, men want to be on top of me.
+[151.640 --> 155.640]  You want to be...
+[155.640 --> 160.800]  Women want to be with me, men want to be in me.
+[160.800 --> 161.800]  No.
+[161.800 --> 163.760]  It's a way to disclose it.
+[163.760 --> 166.360]  There's a small trick you can do here if you really want to look witty.
+[166.360 --> 169.360]  Add a little bit more specificity to the joke the second time.
+[169.360 --> 170.600]  Where do you get your haircut, Conan?
+[170.600 --> 171.880]  I don't... this isn't real.
+[171.880 --> 173.880]  This is scientists work on this.
+[173.880 --> 175.840]  This is...
+[175.840 --> 179.560]  This is a high-density polymer that NASA invented.
+[179.560 --> 183.160]  If this seems hard to do, there's an even easier way you can make people laugh.
+[183.160 --> 185.160]  Double down on someone else's joke.
+[185.160 --> 191.560]  But it'll have been time to just jump up behind a podium in front of your kids to tell them, you know, go to your room.
+[191.560 --> 194.000]  That great... using the great Barack Obama voice.
+[194.000 --> 196.800]  My fellow Obama's...
+[196.800 --> 198.800]  The Thomas Tom.
+[199.320 --> 201.320]  I'll try that out.
+[201.320 --> 202.320]  It's that simple.
+[202.320 --> 206.040]  The other person has done the work to find a joke framework that works in that moment.
+[206.040 --> 207.040]  They've laid it out for you.
+[207.040 --> 209.040]  All you have to do is laugh and follow it up.
+[209.040 --> 211.960]  Here's another funny example with Will Arnett, Alison Brienne Seth Rogan.
+[211.960 --> 217.120]  For context, they're talking about the time Alison had to tell her husband about her movie called Sleeping with Other People.
+[217.120 --> 221.040]  Some is that you had to come home and say, hey, look, I think I'm going to do this movie called...
+[221.040 --> 222.960]  Having sex with other people or whatever.
+[222.960 --> 224.960]  Yeah, sleeping with other people.
+[224.960 --> 226.480]  Like that's like...
+[226.480 --> 227.480]  That's free.
+[227.480 --> 230.440]  I think I'm going to do... I think I'm going to do mass or G4.
+[230.440 --> 231.440]  Is that cool?
+[231.440 --> 232.440]  Is that cool with you?
+[232.440 --> 233.440]  I'm just going to do like...
+[233.440 --> 235.440]  Will's done the clever bit and come up with a funny premise.
+[235.440 --> 237.920]  Movie titles, you wouldn't want to tell your husband you're in.
+[237.920 --> 240.920]  Now Seth can simply steal that framework and get a huge laugh.
+[240.920 --> 241.920]  Is that cool?
+[241.920 --> 242.920]  Is that cool?
+[242.920 --> 246.520]  Just movie called I Left My Husband After Another Actor.
+[246.520 --> 249.520]  You may worry that people won't like this because you're stealing their spotlight,
+[249.520 --> 252.760]  but actually, as long as you laugh at their joke first, they'll feel great,
+[252.760 --> 255.440]  because you're showing you like their humor enough to build off it.
+[255.480 --> 257.720]  If this is the habit that appeals to you the most in this video,
+[257.720 --> 260.640]  then your cue will be noticing when someone else makes you laugh.
+[260.640 --> 263.160]  Now let's talk about how to be charismatic if someone teases you.
+[263.160 --> 264.840]  Many people get nervous when their friends tease them,
+[264.840 --> 266.360]  because they think it makes you look bad.
+[266.360 --> 267.760]  But actually, if you handle it well,
+[267.760 --> 271.400]  then being teased is a fantastic chance to look confident and make people laugh.
+[271.400 --> 272.560]  I read that book.
+[272.560 --> 273.560]  Yeah, I read it.
+[273.560 --> 274.600]  It's a chick book.
+[274.600 --> 275.880]  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
+[275.880 --> 277.040]  Uh...
+[278.040 --> 279.000]  Know your enemy.
+[279.000 --> 280.000]  Yeah.
+[280.600 --> 281.600]  Mmm.
+[283.600 --> 285.880]  There's tons of ways to banter back when someone teases you,
+[285.880 --> 289.720]  but for this video, we'll focus on what to do if you find yourself getting defensive.
+[289.720 --> 291.120]  It's called the reverse defense.
+[291.120 --> 293.040]  When you catch yourself trying to look cool,
+[293.040 --> 296.120]  double back and undercut what you just said to defend yourself.
+[296.120 --> 297.840]  This sounds complicated, but it's super easy.
+[297.840 --> 301.240]  For example, listen and jack whitehall get defensive about looking weird
+[301.240 --> 302.920]  and then reverse direction to get a laugh.
+[302.920 --> 305.680]  Yeah, I found my sketchbook from when I was at school,
+[305.680 --> 307.240]  and in it there was some drawing,
+[307.240 --> 309.200]  some sketches that I'd done off the wrong,
+[309.200 --> 310.720]  because I was that obsessed with him.
+[310.720 --> 312.320]  How old were we at once?
+[312.320 --> 313.720]  How old were we at once?
+[313.720 --> 315.520]  Just him naked on the shades of.
+[317.760 --> 320.840]  The key here is to use your knee jerk reaction of getting defensive
+[320.840 --> 322.760]  as a setup for a bit of misdirection.
+[322.760 --> 324.760]  Here's one more quick example with Sona and Conan.
+[324.760 --> 326.880]  Sona says Conan doesn't know anything about cars.
+[326.880 --> 328.800]  Conan initially tries to defend himself,
+[328.800 --> 330.880]  but then he leans into pretending he knows nothing.
+[330.880 --> 332.400]  I have a lot of wisdom.
+[333.400 --> 334.400]  I do.
+[334.400 --> 335.920]  What do you get? You know, you know, cars?
+[335.920 --> 337.360]  I do no cars.
+[337.360 --> 338.200]  Oh, you tell me.
+[338.200 --> 340.040]  That's a car right there.
+[340.040 --> 342.600]  This doesn't have to be limited to when you're defending yourself.
+[342.600 --> 344.600]  This is just a specific version of the fake out method
+[344.600 --> 345.760]  we've covered in past videos.
+[345.760 --> 348.080]  Anytime you can set up expectations going one way
+[348.080 --> 350.080]  and then go another, you can get a laugh.
+[350.080 --> 352.080]  I came into my son's bedroom the other night
+[352.080 --> 353.960]  and he looked really sad.
+[353.960 --> 355.480]  He said, what's the matter, buddy?
+[355.480 --> 356.320]  Because I don't know his name.
+[356.320 --> 357.160]  I'm never home.
+[359.160 --> 361.400]  As you just saw, the easiest setup for the fake out method
+[361.400 --> 364.120]  is something that makes people expect you to say something sweet.
+[364.120 --> 364.960]  You're a big guy.
+[364.960 --> 365.760]  Let me tell you something.
+[365.760 --> 366.600]  Yeah.
+[366.600 --> 367.760]  And I mean this.
+[367.760 --> 370.400]  I don't care how many talk shows out there.
+[370.400 --> 373.160]  Who's hot, who's the latest, whatever.
+[373.160 --> 376.400]  The end of the day, on this network at this hour,
+[376.400 --> 377.400]  there's nobody else.
+[377.400 --> 381.240]  Now, if everything in this video seems too complicated,
+[381.240 --> 382.600]  you're going to love this last technique
+[382.600 --> 384.880]  because it doesn't require any quick thinking in the moment.
+[384.880 --> 387.160]  First, think of the most common conversations
+[387.160 --> 388.400]  that tend to come up around you
+[388.400 --> 390.720]  and then come up with some go-to jokes ahead of time.
+[390.720 --> 392.640]  You'd be surprised at how often the comedians
+[392.640 --> 395.280]  that you think are so impressively quick-witted in the moment
+[395.280 --> 397.560]  are simply reusing jokes they've told before.
+[397.560 --> 399.640]  For instance, Craig Ferguson has a go-to joke
+[399.640 --> 401.360]  for whenever you want to playfully express,
+[401.360 --> 402.840]  you don't like what someone is saying.
+[402.840 --> 404.280]  Can you drink coffee when you're pregnant?
+[404.280 --> 405.240]  You can, I think you can have a cup.
+[405.240 --> 406.360]  I don't drink coffee because I don't.
+[406.360 --> 407.200]  Don't?
+[407.200 --> 408.040]  It makes me crazy.
+[408.040 --> 410.800]  How long have you been a Nal-Kyda?
+[410.800 --> 411.960]  Have you ever worse talked to who?
+[411.960 --> 413.200]  No.
+[413.200 --> 413.880]  I know.
+[413.880 --> 414.880]  Really, that's interesting.
+[414.880 --> 416.120]  How long have you been a Nal-Kyda?
+[416.120 --> 416.960]  I...
+[416.960 --> 418.880]  Oh.
+[418.880 --> 419.960]  But you don't like meth-busters.
+[419.960 --> 420.480]  I don't.
+[420.480 --> 421.360]  There's something about it.
+[421.360 --> 423.160]  I just have to turn it off if it's over.
+[423.160 --> 423.680]  Really?
+[423.680 --> 425.200]  How long have you been a Nal-Kyda?
+[426.200 --> 429.120]  This is so easy, but it gets a laugh every time.
+[429.120 --> 430.000]  Here's another example.
+[430.000 --> 432.000]  Kevin Hart knows that because he's short,
+[432.000 --> 433.680]  people are going to remark about his appearance.
+[433.680 --> 435.760]  So he has go-to jokes for the situation.
+[435.760 --> 436.920]  I'm like a sex symbol.
+[436.920 --> 437.920]  Here's the...
+[438.920 --> 440.840]  It's like, honestly, it looks like somebody drew me.
+[440.840 --> 441.800]  It's like perfect.
+[443.200 --> 444.080]  I'm a sex symbol.
+[444.080 --> 444.880]  It's hard.
+[444.880 --> 446.040]  It's hard.
+[446.040 --> 448.240]  The goal here isn't to simply steal Kevin's joke
+[448.240 --> 448.840]  and parrot it.
+[448.840 --> 451.360]  This joke works for Kevin because it fits his personality.
+[451.360 --> 452.880]  So what you want to do is think of jokes
+[452.880 --> 454.960]  that will fit your personality and charisma style.
+[455.040 --> 455.800]  If you want help with that,
+[455.800 --> 457.640]  you may like our program, Charisma University.
+[457.640 --> 458.800]  On day three of the program,
+[458.800 --> 461.480]  we walk you through exactly how to craft great answers
+[461.480 --> 463.120]  to the most common questions.
+[463.120 --> 464.480]  You'll get fill-in-the-blank worksheets
+[464.480 --> 466.320]  so that it's effortless to know what to say
+[466.320 --> 468.800]  and you'll get exercises to help you get used to answering
+[468.800 --> 470.560]  in a way that feels easy and natural.
+[470.560 --> 472.360]  That's what's nice about Charisma University.
+[472.360 --> 474.080]  We try our best to make the YouTube videos
+[474.080 --> 475.240]  as helpful as possible,
+[475.240 --> 476.560]  but in our 30-day program,
+[476.560 --> 478.400]  we're able to lay everything out sequentially
+[478.400 --> 480.400]  so you know exactly what to do each day
+[480.400 --> 481.880]  to become more charismatic.
+[481.880 --> 483.720]  Now, rather than tell you more about it myself,
+[483.720 --> 486.240]  I think the best way to let you know what to use about
+[486.240 --> 487.800]  is to let the members speak for themselves.
+[487.800 --> 489.640]  So here are a few things that members have written in.
+[489.640 --> 492.160]  The first is from a guy who was interviewing for new jobs.
+[492.160 --> 494.440]  He says, I interviewed at dozens of places for jobs
+[494.440 --> 495.520]  at medical school.
+[495.520 --> 497.080]  At the end of one of my interview days,
+[497.080 --> 499.720]  the doctor pulled me aside and said that I had hands down
+[499.720 --> 501.440]  the best interview out of everybody
+[501.440 --> 503.480]  and that they would love to have me at their program.
+[503.480 --> 505.480]  They ranked me number one and it's my current job.
+[505.480 --> 507.320]  Another person wrote in about their social life,
+[507.320 --> 508.880]  saying, it has truly been incredible.
+[508.880 --> 510.920]  I've instantly had results that seem insane.
+[510.920 --> 512.520]  So many more meaningful connections,
+[512.520 --> 513.720]  my friendships have improved
+[513.720 --> 515.200]  and my interactions with total strangers
+[515.200 --> 517.200]  are new, exciting, fulfilling thing.
+[517.200 --> 518.720]  I want to recommend this to everyone
+[518.720 --> 520.080]  and this last one is from someone who says
+[520.080 --> 521.240]  it's been life-changing.
+[521.240 --> 522.520]  Your course has been life-changing
+[522.520 --> 524.200]  to the point where I wake up in the morning feeling like
+[524.200 --> 526.040]  I've been transferred to a new person's body,
+[526.040 --> 527.920]  the person I kept dreaming about becoming
+[527.920 --> 529.640]  before I found charisma and command.
+[529.640 --> 530.680]  It is incredible.
+[530.680 --> 532.800]  I found myself and I found what makes me happy.
+[532.800 --> 534.000]  If you want to check the course out,
+[534.000 --> 535.560]  go ahead and click the link on screen now
+[535.560 --> 536.600]  or below in the description.
+[536.600 --> 538.480]  We've had thousands of people go through the course
+[538.480 --> 539.520]  and get a ton out of it
+[539.520 --> 541.240]  and I'd love for you to do the same.
+[541.240 --> 542.720]  Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video
+[542.720 --> 544.720]  and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

transcript/comedy_9PcoVjcwwIc.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.020]  Swap!
+[2.020 --> 3.260]  To the plate!
+[3.260 --> 4.580]  Is this the updated version?
+[4.580 --> 5.420]  Swap to play.
+[5.420 --> 7.180]  Call me daddy now, play.
+[7.180 --> 8.820]  Swap to play.
+[8.820 --> 9.400]  Daddy?
+[9.400 --> 10.740]  I bet.
+[10.740 --> 12.040]  What were you selling chocolate?
+[12.040 --> 13.600]  Did you say chocolate?
+[13.600 --> 14.400]  Yeah, chocolate.
+[14.400 --> 15.400]  Chocolate?
+[15.400 --> 16.400]  Uh, chocolate?
+[16.400 --> 17.300]  Chocolate!
+[17.300 --> 18.500]  I-I-I-I don't know.
+[18.500 --> 19.820]  Ooh, Shakira.
+[19.820 --> 21.020]  Oh, literally.
+[21.020 --> 22.300]  This is Africa.
+[22.300 --> 23.200]  Oh, whoa.
+[23.200 --> 25.400]  This is United States dumbass.
+[25.400 --> 26.240]  Ooh, carbon.
+[26.240 --> 27.560]  Uh, it's hard, it's hard.
+[27.560 --> 29.840]  I think it's like my bed.
+[29.840 --> 31.440]  What did you say?
+[31.440 --> 33.340]  I just took my bed, Medicare.
+[33.340 --> 34.740]  No, you suck my balls.
+[34.740 --> 36.840]  I love you, Kylian.
+[36.840 --> 38.040]  Can I rob your feet?
+[38.040 --> 39.540]  Yeah, with lotion and cream.
+[39.540 --> 41.340]  What?
+[41.340 --> 42.640]  Ooh, Latina.
+[42.640 --> 45.440]  Oh, yeah, give me a kiss.

transcript/comedy_CbmMORCP_AY.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,122 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.240]  Matthew McHenryan gives off an almost effortless feeling of being cool, so today we'll break down
+[4.240 --> 8.480]  some of the habits that make him so charismatic and how you can incorporate them into your own life.
+[8.480 --> 12.000]  It's worth noting, while Matthew McHenryan is very handsome, his confidence and charisma
+[12.000 --> 15.600]  can apply to you no matter what you look like. The first habit you can learn from Matthew is to
+[15.600 --> 19.760]  set the mood at the start of every interaction. Matthew moves slowly and is never rushed when
+[19.760 --> 24.080]  speaking. This gives off a relaxed feeling no matter the situation. Just watch how he enters the
+[24.080 --> 32.080]  Colbert Show. You'll notice he walks in slow and his pace is very relaxed as he looks around
+[32.080 --> 36.240]  smiling. This conveys a carefree attitude that sets the tone from the start and frames the rest
+[36.240 --> 40.400]  of your conversation. Imagine the difference it would make if he entered quickly and walked straight
+[40.400 --> 44.720]  to the host with tight body language. Now it relaxed isn't the only mood you can set. You can set
+[44.720 --> 49.360]  playful, flirty, high energy, whatever you want. Determine the mood you want for an interaction
+[49.360 --> 53.680]  and spend the first 10 to 20 seconds bringing that energy. You'll also see Matthew greets everyone
+[54.160 --> 57.760]  around him. He takes the time to intentionally acknowledge the band and the audience. Many people
+[57.760 --> 61.440]  make the mistake of only greeting the people they think can benefit them. So you'll see them only
+[61.440 --> 65.840]  try to talk to the most attractive or coolest person in a group. Or at an interview they'll blow
+[65.840 --> 69.920]  off whoever's at the front desk, only being kind to the person they think has the power to give them
+[69.920 --> 74.560]  the job. This type of focused charisma makes people feel like you're trying to get something from
+[74.560 --> 78.400]  them, which is off-putting. So the next time you're walking in an interview a workplace meeting or
+[78.400 --> 82.880]  social group, take three to five seconds to greet each person. For a stronger first impression,
+[82.880 --> 87.280]  combine this with some form of touch, whether it's a hug or just a handshake. Now it's clear that
+[87.280 --> 92.640]  that trademark energy that Matthew creates is one of comfort and relaxation. So much so that other
+[92.640 --> 96.720]  actors joke they inherit those vibes just from spending time with him. I've been around him a few
+[96.720 --> 101.920]  times and everybody just kind of does what he's up to. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like all of a sudden you're
+[101.920 --> 106.400]  with him and all of a sudden you find yourself kind of like laying back. You're laying back, you talk,
+[106.400 --> 111.040]  you know, you maybe don't enunciate. One reason for this is that he makes himself comfortable in
+[111.040 --> 114.400]  every environment. Just look at his body language in this clip from Craig Ferguson.
+[114.400 --> 117.360]  He's nice Michael, isn't he? He's really nice. He's funny. Craig. Yeah, he's nice.
+[117.360 --> 121.120]  He's not very, oh right, I'll tell you something Matthew.
+[122.000 --> 126.240]  And already tell me. Well, Matthew lounges back in his chair with his arm draped over the side.
+[126.240 --> 130.320]  This exudes that informal, I don't give a care attitude that is one of the main ingredients of his
+[130.320 --> 133.920]  charm. To try this in your own life, next time you want to look relaxed under pressure,
+[133.920 --> 138.320]  try the simple act of taking up slightly more space than you usually would and opening your
+[138.320 --> 142.800]  body language. A nice bonus to this, your physical comfort will translate to mental comfort,
+[142.800 --> 147.600]  putting you more at ease. So not only will you appear confident and relaxed, you'll also feel it.
+[147.600 --> 152.160]  Beyond just the body language itself, what makes Matthew seem so cool is that he stays anchored
+[152.160 --> 156.400]  to himself. Watch this next clip from the Grand Norton Show. Everyone else on the couch is sitting
+[156.400 --> 160.720]  straight up, but Matthew doesn't try to blend in. I would giggle your ass up the fairground.
+[161.200 --> 167.920]  I didn't work. He even puts his drink on the ground instead of the table so he can lounge back
+[167.920 --> 172.640]  even more. Many people would feel social pressure to sit up straight to try to fit in, especially
+[172.640 --> 176.960]  around a dominant personality like John Cena. But Matthew does the opposite, he stays in his own
+[176.960 --> 181.120]  frame instead of joining theirs. Staying true to yourself, even when it makes you stand out,
+[181.120 --> 185.040]  can show tremendous confidence. This isn't just saying you should never try to change your habits
+[185.040 --> 188.720]  or grow as a person, it's about choosing what kind of person you want to be. Again, whether
+[188.720 --> 194.000]  that's relaxed, high energy, playful kind, choose who you want to be, and don't stop just to
+[194.000 --> 198.240]  blend in with the other people around you. Now, no matter who you are, there is one more habit you
+[198.240 --> 202.720]  can steal from Matthew to instantly become more charismatic in conversation. Become a magnetic
+[202.720 --> 207.200]  storyteller. Storytelling is a conversational superpower. If you can tell good stories, people will
+[207.200 --> 212.000]  love being around you. And everyone has a fantastic story to tell. In the rest of this video, you'll see
+[212.000 --> 216.480]  that you can turn anything into a fun story, even something as mundane as changing a flight or
+[216.480 --> 220.800]  sending an email. All you have to do is know how to tell it. One key to a magnetic story is
+[220.800 --> 224.960]  using a good pre-frame. This hooks people to listen to what you're saying. Listen to this next clip
+[224.960 --> 232.160]  for a quick example. Oh yeah, it's fun. This is a really fun one. Just one pre-frame sentence can
+[232.160 --> 238.080]  be enough to hook people. There's another funny story. He's true. You can also do this simply by
+[238.080 --> 242.000]  hinting that there's a good story to be told. For instance, listen to how Matthew answers George
+[242.000 --> 246.240]  Lopez in this next clip. George just asked him about growing up in an area where being white
+[246.240 --> 250.560]  made him a minority. Notice how he's purposely vague with a smirk and a smile in his eyes that
+[250.560 --> 256.480]  gets George to ask for more detail. You know, there was times where I probably went some places that
+[256.480 --> 264.560]  would have been recommended and pulled off some cultural exchanges late nights. What did
+[264.560 --> 268.800]  it mean? Like what? What? Restroser? Oh, I wouldn't necessarily call this place a restroser.
+[269.680 --> 273.680]  Once you have people hooked, there's several tricks to telling a good story. The first is to
+[273.680 --> 278.400]  recognize that people are wired to love emotional journeys. So don't just describe what happened,
+[278.400 --> 282.400]  share your emotional experience during the story. For example, listen to Matthew talk about later
+[282.400 --> 286.560]  that same night when a group of guys approach him and his friend outside the bar. You look just like
+[286.560 --> 292.320]  the white mother. Jump my little brother. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you do look
+[292.320 --> 297.440]  just like the white mother. Jump my little brother. Sixteen. White mother. Jump my little brother.
+[297.440 --> 301.360]  My heart rate starts beating. I'm going, I don't know where this is going. Another trick you saw
+[301.440 --> 305.280]  there to make your stories interesting is to act out your characters. Here's another example from
+[305.280 --> 314.480]  a second later. My buddy who's lit, right? The buck 25 guy who's lit. He goes, 16. How do you have time
+[314.480 --> 321.040]  to count? Right. And at this moment, let's watch one more quick example. This could have been a
+[321.040 --> 325.920]  complete non-story, but pay attention to how Matthew tells it. He starts with his emotional journey
+[325.920 --> 330.880]  and he ends by acting out his past self. For context, this is about sending his director his vision
+[330.960 --> 334.480]  for the character Dallas and Magic Mike. I write it and I send it to our director Steven Soutobur.
+[335.840 --> 339.760]  I mean, anticipate. I can't wait to see what he says. I'm kind of nervous, you know? What's he
+[339.760 --> 344.160]  going to say? I'm going on the right track and he's happy with where I'm going. One day, nothing.
+[344.160 --> 350.160]  Two days, nothing. Three days, nothing. Four days later, it comes up. There's an email. Oh, there it is.
+[351.760 --> 356.000]  Actually, I'm in a room. Sending an email and waiting four days to hear back doesn't seem like much
+[356.000 --> 359.760]  of a story, but if you play your characters and take people on the emotional journey that makes
+[359.760 --> 364.160]  it story worthy to you, you'll have people captivated. Now, you may feel intimidated to play the
+[364.160 --> 368.560]  characters in your story after all, most of us aren't professional actors like Matthew, but you don't
+[368.560 --> 373.040]  need a spot on impression to captivate people. Any change to your speaking cadence and posture will
+[373.040 --> 377.040]  make your stories more engaging. Listen to the crowd laugh in this next clip when Matthew switches
+[377.040 --> 381.440]  to playing his mom when she's upset to hear their extending their stay in Greece. Hang on a minute,
+[381.440 --> 385.920]  hang on a minute, mom. Everyone will get, we got another week. We thought you'd say thank you. She
+[385.920 --> 390.160]  saw us and she was like, I have to get back to my Pilates class on Tuesday.
+[391.600 --> 396.320]  And I need to go to my salon to get my nails done. When there aren't characters to play,
+[396.320 --> 400.560]  there's another trick you can use to keep people captivated. Tell the story with your hands.
+[400.560 --> 405.200]  I have a lot of cards looking around. My dad sees this old BMX bike and we couldn't afford
+[405.200 --> 409.440]  a BMX bike. Now, my middle brother had been wanting a BMX motorcycle, but we couldn't afford it.
+[409.440 --> 414.000]  There's this old CRX 80 over there. And by now, you've probably noticed the last trick for
+[414.000 --> 418.240]  magnetic storytelling. If you want to hook people, tell your stories in the present tense. Put them
+[418.240 --> 422.560]  right in your story, experiencing it as it happened. Listen to this quick example where Matthew talks
+[422.560 --> 426.560]  about getting his part in Angels in the Outfield. He pre-frames, speaks in the present, tells it with
+[426.560 --> 433.200]  his hands and acts out as character all in less than 30 seconds. I walk in the door. This is a bunch
+[433.200 --> 438.640]  of funny peculiarities about how I got to be standing here today. I walk in the door with his
+[438.720 --> 444.000]  back lid. I remember having a American cap on. I was on one of the brothers' lad. I open up the door
+[444.000 --> 447.680]  with his back lid in the afternoon. Producer is sitting on the couch. He looks up and says,
+[447.680 --> 450.800]  Hey, look at you! They're all American kids!
+[452.000 --> 455.200]  You're doing this. He ever played baseballs in 12 years because she got the job!
+[459.280 --> 462.720]  Now, there's a lot going on in this video and you may be wondering how do you actually remember
+[462.720 --> 465.760]  all this when you're around other people. Especially if you're speaking with someone who makes
+[465.760 --> 469.920]  you nervous, it's hard to remember to put all this into practice. That's why we put together our
+[469.920 --> 474.640]  program, Crism University. It's a step-by-step program that tells you exactly what to do every day
+[474.640 --> 479.360]  to take what you're learning and turn it into unthinking habit. So 30 days later, you radiate
+[479.360 --> 482.560]  confidence in charisma naturally without even thinking about it. Rather than tell you about the
+[482.560 --> 486.240]  program myself, here are a few things that our past members have said. This first comment came
+[486.240 --> 490.080]  just one week into the program. While growing through first impressions, I've been able to get into
+[490.080 --> 494.400]  conversation with people that I never would have before. The lesson on asking questions to draw
+[494.480 --> 498.960]  values is gold. Thanks to everyone who developed the course, it has already been life-changing.
+[498.960 --> 500.160]  Another member wrote in,
+[500.160 --> 504.000]  I wasn't truly confident. I was constantly seeking validation and cared too much about other
+[504.000 --> 508.480]  people's opinions. But now my life has improved tremendously because of CU. I find it way
+[508.480 --> 512.160]  easier to connect with people to have great interactions and to be happy even if things don't go the
+[512.160 --> 516.400]  way I want them to. Taking this course has been one of the most impactful decisions of my life.
+[516.400 --> 521.200]  I can't recommend it enough. And lastly, one member writes, I am way more confident now having
+[521.200 --> 524.960]  gone through the daily action guides and I can see a big difference in the attention and respect
+[524.960 --> 529.840]  that I get. It makes life so much more fun. I don't think it's an overstatement to say charisma is
+[529.840 --> 533.680]  literally a gateway to getting anything you want in life so thank you for making charisma
+[533.680 --> 538.160]  university. This program is literally guaranteed to change your life. You can take the entire course
+[538.160 --> 541.600]  and if you don't think it was worth every penny, you can give yourself a refund from right
+[541.600 --> 545.280]  inside the program. If you want to see if it's right for you, click the link on screen now or in
+[545.280 --> 548.960]  the description below to learn more about it. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video and I'll see
+[548.960 --> 550.960]  you in the next one.

transcript/comedy_EerVVg832v4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
+[0.000 --> 1.000]  How's it going Angela?
+[1.000 --> 2.000]  It's going good.
+[2.000 --> 3.000]  I'm going to tell you something.
+[3.000 --> 4.000]  That's...
+[4.000 --> 8.040]  So a few things you need to know at a Greek event.
+[8.040 --> 13.240]  If you want to tell someone something, if you want to say you want to tell them something
+[13.240 --> 15.440]  later on, let that...
+[15.440 --> 21.240]  If you want to tell them something's good, smash that ass.
+[21.240 --> 22.240]  Smash it.
+[22.240 --> 25.480]  You want them to see something but not make it so obvious.
+[26.480 --> 32.480]  If you want to say a dilemma...
+[32.480 --> 35.480]  What happened last night?
+[35.480 --> 42.480]  This is...
+[42.480 --> 43.480]  What?
+[43.480 --> 44.480]  We have a...
+[44.480 --> 45.480]  We have a...
+[45.480 --> 46.480]  A mixettis.
+[46.480 --> 47.480]  A mixettis.
+[47.480 --> 49.480]  A beautiful handsome person.
+[49.480 --> 51.480]  Bye, look at it.
+[51.480 --> 53.480]  Oh my God.
+[54.480 --> 55.480]  A real baba.
+[55.480 --> 57.480]  They ask a question and then they...
+[57.480 --> 60.480]  And then they explain what you're going to say to them.
+[60.480 --> 63.480]  I'm going to tell you where you are.
+[63.480 --> 65.480]  And then they're going to say I heard, right?
+[65.480 --> 66.480]  Because they're all talking.
+[66.480 --> 67.480]  Acusa.
+[67.480 --> 69.480]  Acusa, cacki.
+[69.480 --> 70.480]  Acusa.
+[70.480 --> 71.480]  Ilimonoso.
+[71.480 --> 73.480]  Ilimonoso.
+[73.480 --> 77.480]  Greek parents set it up before they murder you.
+[77.480 --> 78.480]  Yes.
+[78.480 --> 79.480]  They're going to tell you.
+[79.480 --> 80.480]  Absolutely.
+[80.480 --> 81.480]  They set it up.
+[81.480 --> 83.480]  They interrogate and then they...
+[83.480 --> 84.480]  The guilty.
+[84.480 --> 85.480]  Okay.
+[85.480 --> 87.480]  You're awesome.
+[87.480 --> 88.480]  You're awesome.

transcript/comedy_Fkz71OFBFrY.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+[0.000 --> 0.840]  Philis.
+[0.840 --> 3.040]  Michael, you make fun of us every day.
+[3.040 --> 5.400]  Uh, every single day.
+[5.400 --> 6.880]  You never said anything?
+[6.880 --> 8.400]  We have countless times.
+[8.400 --> 11.960]  Well, it is hard to tell the difference between you guys
+[11.960 --> 14.160]  saying, stop, because I want you to stop
+[14.160 --> 15.880]  or stop as in, stop.
+[15.880 --> 18.120]  You're making me laugh so hard.
+[18.120 --> 19.960]  What you're doing is so funny.
+[19.960 --> 21.000]  You're on a roll.
+[21.000 --> 22.000]  I am busing a gut.
+[22.000 --> 23.720]  Stop.
+[23.720 --> 25.120]  That's never been the case.

transcript/comedy_Mh47wWr_Hbw.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+[0.000 --> 7.000]  Hello friends, I'm your Vitamita Benjamin girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you poop out at parties?
+[10.000 --> 14.000]  Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
+[15.000 --> 16.000]  Now you pick up the bottle.
+[17.000 --> 19.000]  Oh, little higher. That's right.
+[20.000 --> 24.000]  The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitamita Benjamin.
+[24.000 --> 29.000]  Vitamita Benjamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables and minerals.
+[30.000 --> 33.000]  Yes, with Vitamita Benjamin, you can spoon your way to hell.
+[34.000 --> 36.000]  All you do is take a tablespoonful after every meal.
+[37.000 --> 38.000]  Now you take some.
+[42.000 --> 43.000]  It's so tasty too.
+[55.000 --> 57.000]  It's just like candy.
+[60.000 --> 68.000]  No, no, no, no. Look, you're supposed to like the stuff. You've got to smile. Be happy. I'll try it again.
+[75.000 --> 76.000]  It's so tasty too.
+[76.000 --> 77.000]  It's just like candy.
+[78.000 --> 79.000]  Nope, once more.
+[92.000 --> 94.000]  It's so tasty too.
+[97.000 --> 98.000]  It's just like candy.
+[99.000 --> 101.000]  That's going to be fine. You just go ahead.
+[104.000 --> 105.000]  Okay.
+[107.000 --> 116.000]  So why don't you join the thousands of happy-peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitamita Benjamin tomorrow? That's Vitamita Benjamin.
+[129.000 --> 137.000]  Well, this is easy. Yeah, we can handle this, okay?
+[137.000 --> 138.000]  Okay?
+[157.000 --> 159.000]  Listen, I don't like it. I think it's...
+[164.000 --> 166.000]  I think we're fighting on the game.
+[167.000 --> 169.000]  I think we're fighting on the game.
+[187.000 --> 188.000]  Here she comes.
+[198.000 --> 199.000]  Fine, you're doing splendidly.
+[208.000 --> 210.000]  Split it up a little.
+[228.000 --> 230.000]  I'm going to do it.
+[237.000 --> 240.000]  Good morning, sir. What can I get started for you today?
+[241.000 --> 242.000]  It's a passion set.
+[242.000 --> 243.000]  What's that?
+[245.000 --> 247.000]  Three empty lots.
+[247.000 --> 249.000]  Would you care for a pastry?
+[252.000 --> 253.000]  Moka.
+[253.000 --> 255.000]  Three Moka lattes.
+[258.000 --> 260.000]  Double chocolate chip muffin.
+[260.000 --> 261.000]  Yep.
+[266.000 --> 269.000]  You had three palm-and-cartney CDs.
+[269.000 --> 273.000]  I love the Beatles' taste for my life.
+[274.000 --> 275.000]  Something.
+[278.000 --> 280.000]  Assassination. Hey, for him Lincoln!
+[281.000 --> 284.000]  You and me, gone.
+[284.000 --> 285.000]  Shoot.
+[287.000 --> 288.000]  Three shots.
+[288.000 --> 290.000]  Hello.
+[290.000 --> 292.000]  I'm a little slow down there.
+[293.000 --> 296.000]  Alright, so three lattes, three Moka lattes.
+[296.000 --> 299.000]  Double chocolate chip muffin and three shots.
+[299.000 --> 301.000]  No assassinations.
+[301.000 --> 303.000]  Oh, and three palm-and-cartney CDs.
+[304.000 --> 306.000]  That's going to be 68-12.

transcript/comedy_NmMddn8KH30.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,119 @@
+[0.000 --> 1.000]  Why did you, Jim?
+[1.000 --> 4.160]  I want a moment ago you'll witness something very important about me.
+[4.160 --> 5.960]  I was trying to be sexy.
+[5.960 --> 7.760]  Didn't work out.
+[7.760 --> 11.040]  Can't do sexy.
+[11.040 --> 12.360]  I finally accepted it.
+[12.360 --> 14.680]  I used to think sexy was something I could become.
+[14.680 --> 18.080]  Like if I worked out enough or a war the right thing or I said the right thing, but sexy
+[18.080 --> 19.560]  didn't work like that.
+[19.560 --> 20.800]  Suck these of I'm.
+[20.800 --> 27.640]  Some guys walk in the room and every woman turns and involuntarily starts doing kegels.
+[27.640 --> 32.280]  I am not that guy.
+[32.280 --> 35.720]  I give a vibe, but it's the wrong vibe.
+[35.720 --> 40.040]  When women see me they say things like, damn, I bet he's a good listener.
+[40.040 --> 44.080]  Nice, the wrong vibe.
+[44.080 --> 45.080]  So I'm out of the game.
+[45.080 --> 46.080]  I'm done.
+[46.080 --> 47.760]  No more sex unless you offer.
+[47.760 --> 51.720]  Go for the reason.
+[51.720 --> 52.880]  That's my policy.
+[52.880 --> 56.840]  But for the rest of you who are still in the game, I got a present for you.
+[56.840 --> 57.840]  You can use the night.
+[57.840 --> 58.840]  You can use the rest of your life.
+[58.840 --> 60.440]  It will cost you nothing to bring you joy.
+[60.440 --> 62.680]  And I sincerely hope every single one of you uses this.
+[62.680 --> 65.800]  I was looking at my hand once.
+[65.800 --> 72.040]  Which is bound to happen if you have enough free time and marijuana.
+[72.040 --> 73.680]  I was looking at my hand and I realized something.
+[73.680 --> 74.680]  You guys know what this means, right?
+[74.680 --> 75.680]  Little hand gesture here.
+[75.680 --> 76.680]  Anybody?
+[76.680 --> 78.000]  This means I love you.
+[78.000 --> 79.760]  If this means I love you and I do.
+[79.760 --> 81.000]  Thank you so much for being here tonight.
+[81.000 --> 82.000]  Thanks for being here.
+[82.000 --> 83.000]  Welcome.
+[83.000 --> 84.000]  It gives you for a life stand-up comedy.
+[84.000 --> 86.000]  It's Sarah Soda for 30 years.
+[86.000 --> 87.400]  I love you.
+[87.400 --> 95.360]  If this means I love you and I know you know what this means because I drove here.
+[95.360 --> 105.240]  If this means I love you and this means fuck you then this means I'd love to fuck you.
+[105.240 --> 107.120]  How about that, ladies and gentlemen?
+[107.120 --> 109.520]  I'd love to fuck you.
+[109.520 --> 111.760]  That's handy.
+[111.760 --> 115.640]  That is an idea that needs to be expressed more often and more simply.
+[115.640 --> 116.640]  That's non-verbal seduction.
+[116.640 --> 117.640]  Give it a try.
+[117.640 --> 119.480]  Pinky thumb middle finger.
+[119.480 --> 120.480]  You can use that.
+[120.480 --> 121.480]  I don't care who you are.
+[121.480 --> 123.640]  You have no date with your wife or your husband.
+[123.640 --> 125.040]  You think they look sexy and amazing.
+[125.040 --> 129.040]  You can't tell them when nobody's looking.
+[129.040 --> 131.520]  Take you two seconds and make them feel special.
+[131.520 --> 134.440]  You have to do it right.
+[134.440 --> 136.480]  Pinky thumb middle finger.
+[136.480 --> 137.480]  Okay?
+[137.480 --> 139.880]  I don't want to see anybody at the bar after the show.
+[139.880 --> 140.880]  Where are bubble thumbs?
+[140.880 --> 141.880]  Is there bubble gum in the bubble?
+[141.880 --> 142.880]  No.
+[142.880 --> 143.880]  No.
+[143.880 --> 146.880]  That's how you pick up Balkan checks.
+[146.880 --> 152.480]  And they're not coming home with you unless it's the mating season of Pond Farm.
+[152.480 --> 153.480]  Now I understand.
+[153.480 --> 154.480]  Wow.
+[154.480 --> 155.480]  Wow.
+[155.480 --> 160.480]  That joke has never ever worked.
+[160.480 --> 161.480]  Wow.
+[161.480 --> 165.080]  It's easy to get confused.
+[165.080 --> 166.080]  A lot of handjacks.
+[166.080 --> 167.080]  This was close.
+[167.080 --> 168.080]  What's this one?
+[168.080 --> 169.880]  That's rock on.
+[169.880 --> 171.480]  Also to accept the two outs.
+[171.480 --> 172.480]  They're so okay.
+[172.480 --> 173.480]  There's peace.
+[173.480 --> 174.480]  The deity and me.
+[174.480 --> 175.800]  Grease the deity and you.
+[175.800 --> 177.800]  That's a puppy.
+[177.800 --> 180.800]  Clearly a puppy.
+[180.800 --> 184.840]  Variety entertainer folks.
+[184.840 --> 186.760]  There you go.
+[186.760 --> 187.760]  What's that?
+[187.760 --> 188.760]  Can I do a camel?
+[188.760 --> 189.760]  Glad you asked.
+[189.760 --> 191.760]  Wrong song.
+[191.760 --> 192.760]  And then.
+[192.760 --> 195.000]  Oh, here's a fun one.
+[195.000 --> 197.000]  Anybody here from Canada?
+[197.000 --> 200.000]  Hey, the people being rude or from Canada?
+[200.000 --> 201.000]  That's weird.
+[201.000 --> 202.000]  So.
+[202.000 --> 203.000]  Not anymore.
+[203.000 --> 204.000]  Not your lovely.
+[204.000 --> 205.000]  I'm so glad you're here.
+[205.000 --> 206.000]  I love Canada.
+[206.000 --> 207.000]  This is what I learned from Canada.
+[207.000 --> 208.000]  And this is true.
+[208.000 --> 209.000]  This is absolutely true.
+[209.000 --> 210.000]  I did not make this up.
+[210.000 --> 211.000]  This is called the Falcon.
+[211.000 --> 212.000]  Okay?
+[212.000 --> 213.000]  The Falcon.
+[213.000 --> 216.000]  What you do is you find a young lady that you care about who's wearing a short dress or
+[216.000 --> 217.000]  a short short or something.
+[217.000 --> 218.000]  And you sneak up behind her.
+[218.000 --> 219.000]  And she's not paying attention.
+[219.000 --> 220.000]  You grab her in the ass.
+[220.000 --> 221.000]  We've her index finger like that.
+[221.000 --> 222.000]  And she goes, ah.
+[222.000 --> 224.000]  Like a Falcon.
+[224.000 --> 225.000]  Thanks Canada.
+[225.000 --> 226.000]  You guys are on Terry, all right?
+[226.000 --> 229.000]  In the very cool prairie they call it the screaming eagle.
+[229.000 --> 231.000]  That's more of a west coast thing.
+[231.000 --> 232.000]  You guys are on Terry, all right?
+[232.000 --> 234.000]  In the very cool prairie they call it the screaming eagle.
+[234.000 --> 235.000]  That's more of a west coast thing.

transcript/comedy_OvEci5Bjgd4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,65 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.760]  Well actually I learned a lot from boxer
+[2.760 --> 6.160]  when I was a Нуanweerman at NAJ Tongue
+[6.160 --> 9.400]  He told me not to ask how long he was in the NBA
+[9.400 --> 11.940]  I knew that you could do everything
+[11.940 --> 13.600]  Well I knew that I could do everything
+[13.600 --> 15.960]  The edges were high
+[15.960 --> 20.300]  and the…?
+[21.040 --> 24.120]  And you were a simple battle
+[24.120 --> 26.240]  And you were a demanding champion
+[26.240 --> 27.120]  And you replied
+[27.120 --> 36.560]  You're job's a joke, you prove, you're not lost to your way.
+[36.560 --> 38.320]  No, I could get him to forgive us.
+[38.320 --> 39.320]  I don't know.
+[39.320 --> 40.320]  I'm telling you.
+[40.320 --> 44.320]  I can do it.
+[44.320 --> 48.320]  Yeah, he can do it.
+[48.320 --> 53.320]  It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
+[53.320 --> 57.120]  It was like this crazy-eyed Harry Beastman.
+[57.120 --> 59.320]  He was like a big footer.
+[59.320 --> 63.320]  I get it or something.
+[63.320 --> 66.920]  Hi, just so you know, we didn't mean to fog you.
+[66.920 --> 71.120]  We actually thought you were like a get-ears-o-no.
+[74.120 --> 76.120]  Hi.
+[78.520 --> 80.120]  So you like to short hair better?
+[80.120 --> 82.120]  What?
+[82.120 --> 83.120]  Get it?
+[83.120 --> 85.120]  I'm Danny?
+[91.520 --> 94.520]  Beeps?
+[94.520 --> 97.520]  Hello?
+[97.520 --> 98.520]  Beep-ee.
+[108.520 --> 112.120]  I'll be there for you.
+[112.120 --> 118.720]  If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you.
+[118.720 --> 122.120]  I'm fine.
+[122.120 --> 123.120]  Really?
+[123.120 --> 124.620]  Absolutely.
+[124.620 --> 127.120]  I'm fine.
+[127.120 --> 129.120]  Totally fine.
+[129.120 --> 132.620]  I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky,
+[132.620 --> 135.520]  because really, I'm fine.
+[135.520 --> 139.920]  I'll be there for you, because you're there for me,
+[139.920 --> 141.320]  and you're going to be.
+[141.320 --> 143.320]  Joe?
+[143.320 --> 149.320]  He-he-he.
+[149.320 --> 152.320]  I guess Joey went home.
+[152.320 --> 156.320]  Oh, and look, there is still one box that I have to unpack.
+[156.320 --> 159.320]  He-he-he.
+[159.320 --> 162.520]  Oh, my God, Joe.
+[162.520 --> 163.520]  Oh, my God.
+[163.520 --> 165.320]  You almost gave me a heart attack.
+[165.320 --> 166.320]  Oh.
+[166.320 --> 172.320]  Still in bed I did, and working at a...
+[172.320 --> 175.320]  My best friend and my sister, I cannot believe this.
+[175.320 --> 181.120]  Oh, sorry, but it's true I love him too.
+[181.120 --> 185.120]  My best friend.
+[185.120 --> 189.120]  I cannot believe this.
+[189.120 --> 194.920]  You burned your breakfast so far, things are going great.
+[200.920 --> 205.720]  You mother won't you let me taste like bees?
+[205.720 --> 210.720]  I brought you, let's put aside the fact that you accidentally picked up my grandmother's ring,
+[210.720 --> 215.520]  and you accidentally proposed to Rachel and people do this.
+[215.520 --> 218.120]  I don't really know what that means.
+[218.120 --> 225.120]  I'm sorry.
+[249.120 --> 254.120]  I'll be there for you.
+[254.120 --> 259.120]  I'll be there for you.
+[259.120 --> 262.120]  I'll be there for you.
+[262.120 --> 269.120]  Because you're there for me too.

transcript/comedy_Qn71AsFE76k.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,50 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  Oh
+[15.000 --> 19.040]  Thank you so much, you're so kind how the fuck are you? Will you well?
+[21.200 --> 23.200]  Glad gives a cheer during the top level
+[25.440 --> 27.440]  Second
+[27.440 --> 29.440]  I'm not sure which level they're on are there
+[33.440 --> 35.440]  Downstairs
+[37.040 --> 39.040]  We're all here. Let's get fucking crooked
+[40.240 --> 44.200]  Thank you so much for coming. It's so lovely to see you. Well, I've been on to us in January
+[44.200 --> 48.280]  I absolutely love being on tour. I would do a lot of driving obviously when we're on tour
+[48.280 --> 52.240]  And I've discovered recently that I get a touch of road rage anybody else get road rage
+[53.240 --> 58.680]  I do the children in the swearing but my favorite thing is the hand gestures. I love the hand gestures
+[58.680 --> 62.840]  I do all three of them. I don't know if we know this three. I start with that one
+[64.640 --> 66.640]  Classic isn't it and then I do that one
+[67.720 --> 72.320]  And they can't always see that from the other cars you do have to tilt your pelvis up quite high
+[73.400 --> 76.840]  And my am a cock bigger than one that ever existed
+[76.840 --> 81.840]  And the third one I do is this one
+[83.840 --> 91.360]  And that's when I realize that's not one of them is it? Oh, I'm so annoyed by your drive and I'm gonna suck your cock for you
+[94.480 --> 98.320]  It's not one of them, but you guys have fun. This is gonna be fun. I can tell already
+[100.680 --> 105.720]  I have been doing stand-up for 13 years. I absolutely love my job when I first started doing stand-up
+[105.720 --> 113.120]  I was off the back of the divorce so Lord what I talked about and stage was divorce related and I did a gig in the early days in kiddaminsta
+[115.520 --> 119.920]  That is so weird because they don't normally cheer when you're actually in Fokken kiddaminsta
+[123.120 --> 127.120]  When a man came up to me after I've been on stage and he said I've got two things to say to you
+[127.120 --> 131.720]  I said really what are they he said the first thing he said is fuck me what you've been through
+[131.720 --> 134.360]  I said I'm all right flour. Thanks anyway, but I'm all right
+[135.080 --> 137.320]  I said what's the second thing he said fuck me
+[139.800 --> 141.800]  Same words very different
+[141.920 --> 146.680]  Internation I just ran to my car. It's quickly that could because I needed to get him home
+[150.320 --> 152.320]  That bit's not true. I really wish it was
+[153.080 --> 155.840]  Just ran to my car at home and my auto is too scared
+[155.840 --> 160.960]  I've never been that confident sexually not like that. I've never been like fuck me. I've never been like that
+[160.960 --> 167.920]  I can't get away with that can I I'm not sure anybody can who's in a party dress and plimp souls
+[171.440 --> 176.960]  But even like in the intervening years things haven't changed I've been with the same bloke now for 12 years and even now
+[176.960 --> 179.760]  I'm still a bit like I mean dear fun see it
+[180.880 --> 182.880]  Should I wash it
+[184.600 --> 186.600]  Would that help
+[186.600 --> 189.240]  Maria would that's good to fuck a noise in it
+[190.960 --> 192.960]  Before I start properly I need to tell you something
+[194.960 --> 199.760]  With any food during the show I stand a bit funny like maybe I stick my leg out like this
+[199.760 --> 204.120]  I'll lift it up like this anything way you think what the fuck should do with her leg
+[204.720 --> 207.920]  It's because I've literally just put it in something towel on
+[220.960 --> 223.280]  And it hasn't molded to me body yet
+[228.560 --> 231.680]  I think the problem is is a little bit of wings stuck to me thigh
+[238.600 --> 243.160]  And I'm like the hornyest part of my menstrual cycle so you've been fucking warned
+[243.160 --> 248.520]  I just want somebody to hit it with a spoon just a wooden spoon or a little
+[248.520 --> 251.080]  Not a teaspoon because I'll only fucking lose that in there
+[252.840 --> 255.320]  Feel much better haven't told to that thanks everybody
+[256.360 --> 261.560]  I sort of do a friend of mine. I've got quite low self-esteem and my friend was trying to sort the cheer me up
+[261.560 --> 265.520]  And she said I think you're a fox. I said should have a lot of fox. She said you are
+[265.520 --> 269.760]  I think you're a fox. I said should have a lot of fox and then I had to think about it and I thought
+[269.760 --> 273.840]  Maybe I am a fox in that I regularly eat out of bins

transcript/comedy__uvcN2Eg0i8.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+[0.000 --> 20.720]  I'm cold hands, in sore feet you've been walking for an hour on abandoned streets.
+[20.720 --> 30.000]  Weak knees, in fresh scars it's a struggle when you lose and track of who you are.
+[30.000 --> 38.560]  The words you stole won't save your soul, they can only buy you time.
+[38.560 --> 49.440]  The light a candle, a curse that dark, it's all the same to me.
+[49.440 --> 62.560]  I'll start a fire, go drown this bark and shake away the heat, till the truth or live a life.
+[62.960 --> 66.560]  Just don't close your eyes.
+[74.720 --> 82.720]  Let down and so spend you've been holding up the world with your good intent.
+[83.680 --> 92.720]  How about like you should, it's a burden that you never really understood.
+[92.720 --> 100.720]  But Caroline I'm too, when fine it's the others who are dying.
+[102.720 --> 110.720]  Light a candle, a curse that dark, it's all the same to me.
+[111.680 --> 124.720]  I'll start a fire, go drown this bark and shake away the heat, till the truth or live a life.
+[124.720 --> 134.720]  Just don't close your eyes and you're breaking, but you're faking nothing's ever wrong.

transcript/comedy_aGVUxQCEC_c.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,1247 @@
+[0.000 --> 16.400]  So you guys know before I get into this how much I like weird shit right?
+[16.400 --> 23.200]  Alright, your airport did not disappoint.
+[23.200 --> 26.680]  Alright, you ready?
+[26.680 --> 31.240]  So I don't know why I see so much, I know why because it's the airport and people are
+[31.240 --> 32.240]  fucking tense.
+[32.240 --> 36.160]  But I see a lot of weird shit at airports.
+[36.160 --> 38.000]  And so Jacob and I were getting off the plane.
+[38.000 --> 45.600]  It was pretty early in the morning and maybe for me to the first riser right there, this
+[45.600 --> 48.760]  man and this woman are arguing with each other.
+[48.760 --> 54.960]  And she's like, that's exactly what it smells like.
+[54.960 --> 56.880]  And he goes, what are you talking about?
+[56.880 --> 59.200]  We're in the airport.
+[59.200 --> 60.680]  She goes, it doesn't matter.
+[60.680 --> 62.240]  That's exactly what it smells like.
+[62.240 --> 64.280]  Don't tell me that's not what it smells like.
+[64.280 --> 66.680]  And he goes, I have no idea what you're saying.
+[66.680 --> 69.400]  And he turns to Jacob and me and he goes, guys, smell this.
+[69.400 --> 74.200]  And I was like, get the fuck outta here.
+[74.200 --> 79.160]  I am not playing smell in my finger with a stranger at the airport.
+[79.160 --> 80.160]  Fuck you.
+[80.160 --> 82.480]  And don't come at me like this.
+[82.480 --> 83.480]  Are you crazy?
+[83.480 --> 91.240]  But it just shows me how nice people in Canada are.
+[91.240 --> 92.840]  Because he would add it like, yeah, what's the problem?
+[92.840 --> 96.440]  I'm sure somebody would be like, yeah, I'll do it for you.
+[96.440 --> 97.440]  Hey, cool.
+[97.440 --> 100.440]  Make it loud for my dad.
+[100.440 --> 101.440]  Josh Wall.
+[101.440 --> 114.400]  That one more time with Jacob, everybody.
+[114.400 --> 117.400]  I'm here one more time with Jacob Wall.
+[117.400 --> 120.000]  Oh, and a very funny Lisa I had.
+[120.000 --> 121.000]  Super fucking funny.
+[121.000 --> 127.960]  I gotta tell you, man, it's so much fun to travel with Jacob.
+[127.960 --> 129.680]  He's never been, yeah, it's really the time.
+[129.680 --> 132.720]  Did anyone come here with their parents tonight?
+[132.720 --> 133.720]  Yeah.
+[133.720 --> 134.920]  Well, is your kid right here?
+[134.920 --> 136.200]  How old are you, dude?
+[136.200 --> 136.720]  16.
+[136.720 --> 141.600]  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
+[141.600 --> 145.080]  That's how he's going to let, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
+[145.080 --> 146.000]  Fantastic.
+[146.000 --> 151.520]  OK, well, listen, man, when it gets to the real uncomfortable parts for you to be in front
+[151.520 --> 158.400]  of your mom to hear, I'm going to walk over and say I'm right to your fucking faces.
+[158.400 --> 159.400]  No.
+[159.400 --> 167.400]  Oh, boy, maybe, but no, probably not.
+[167.400 --> 169.240]  All right, baby.
+[169.240 --> 170.400]  I'm excited when people come.
+[170.400 --> 171.400]  I mean, I really am.
+[171.400 --> 173.240]  I'm excited when people bring their kids to the shows.
+[173.240 --> 174.960]  It's always awesome, you know.
+[174.960 --> 175.960]  I love traveling with Jacob.
+[175.960 --> 178.720]  I don't know if you guys fuck with your kids.
+[178.720 --> 179.720]  It's funny.
+[179.720 --> 183.760]  He was home for a little bit over quarantine, like probably a lot of people's kids were.
+[183.760 --> 188.520]  And listen, my wife and I are empty nesters.
+[188.520 --> 192.800]  We are used to being able to have sex whenever we want, wherever we want.
+[192.800 --> 199.040]  And so one night, I was kind of horny and I said, I said to Beth, we were in our room.
+[199.040 --> 205.280]  I go, hey, you want to roll around?
+[205.280 --> 207.520]  She goes, Jacob's home.
+[207.520 --> 212.720]  And I was like, we'll turn up the TV.
+[212.720 --> 215.880]  And she goes, he's not eight.
+[215.880 --> 221.400]  And I was like, yeah, let's give it a try, you know.
+[221.400 --> 222.400]  So we have sex.
+[222.400 --> 225.800]  And then the next morning, I'd come downstairs.
+[225.800 --> 229.160]  And Jacob is already in cereal at the dining room table.
+[229.160 --> 230.160]  And he's like this.
+[230.160 --> 239.640]  I don't know how it's going, buddy.
+[239.640 --> 241.640]  He goes, not great.
+[241.640 --> 245.560]  I was like, what's going on?
+[245.560 --> 249.240]  He goes, do you have to have sex in the house?
+[249.240 --> 250.240]  In the house.
+[250.240 --> 252.000]  You have to have sex in the house.
+[252.000 --> 254.560]  And I was like, where do you want me to have sex?
+[254.560 --> 256.840]  And he goes, I don't know anywhere but in the house.
+[256.840 --> 257.840]  New rule.
+[257.840 --> 258.840]  New rule.
+[258.840 --> 261.000]  No more having sex when I'm in the house.
+[261.000 --> 262.000]  New rule.
+[262.000 --> 265.720]  And I was like, dude, you don't get to make rules.
+[265.720 --> 266.720]  This is my house.
+[266.720 --> 268.840]  I will wipe my dick on the butter if I want to.
+[268.840 --> 269.840]  Do you understand?
+[270.520 --> 274.520]  I might have sex tomorrow in your room.
+[274.520 --> 276.840]  Otherwise known as my other room, dude,
+[276.840 --> 278.680]  shut the fuck up with your rules.
+[278.680 --> 280.680]  Yeah.
+[280.680 --> 289.680]  And you know, a lot of people ask me why I don't tell more stories
+[289.680 --> 291.000]  about my two oldest kids.
+[291.000 --> 293.960]  And the truth is I used to only tell stories about them.
+[293.960 --> 297.520]  But by the time you guys found me, the only person left in my house
+[297.520 --> 300.120]  doing dumb shit was fucking, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
+[300.120 --> 301.520]  LAUGHTER
+[305.520 --> 308.680]  And so, look, man, I raised a couple of,
+[308.680 --> 311.840]  I raised three kids by myself for a little while.
+[311.840 --> 315.280]  And if you have ever raised kids without money,
+[315.280 --> 318.280]  you know that sometimes you are the entertainment.
+[318.280 --> 319.280]  Right?
+[319.280 --> 323.160]  You can't pay for it, so you have to invent something fun.
+[323.160 --> 325.840]  And so I know some people have some parenting hacks.
+[325.840 --> 327.400]  I'm going to throw one out for you.
+[327.400 --> 330.640]  So we couldn't afford a amusement park for rollercoasters
+[330.640 --> 332.280]  like that.
+[332.280 --> 334.000]  But the kids loved rollercoasters.
+[334.000 --> 336.960]  So instead of a roller coaster, I would take him
+[336.960 --> 338.280]  to an empty parking lot at night.
+[341.520 --> 343.200]  And I would put him in the trunk of my car
+[343.200 --> 345.960]  and I would just drive around real fast.
+[345.960 --> 350.200]  Like space mountain or some shit, you know?
+[350.200 --> 352.120]  The fun for you is pumping the brakes,
+[352.120 --> 357.320]  because you can hear, ooh, ooh, in the trunk, which is pretty funny.
+[358.400 --> 360.400]  Were you supposed to play IKEA,
+[360.400 --> 363.400]  hide and go seek it, IKEA?
+[363.400 --> 366.400]  It was like a big indoor house where they wouldn't let the kids outside.
+[366.400 --> 367.400]  It was perfect, you know?
+[367.400 --> 369.400]  I will tell you also, I used to,
+[369.400 --> 372.400]  I was parenting before there were baby changes stations in men's rooms.
+[372.400 --> 374.400]  And I'm sure a lot of you guys did too.
+[374.400 --> 376.400]  And if you had a parent before then,
+[376.400 --> 379.400]  you changed your kids in some weird places.
+[379.400 --> 382.400]  I will tell you one time we were at IKEA.
+[382.400 --> 385.400]  And so I'm walking out of the men's room.
+[386.400 --> 387.400]  Jacob, I need to change his diaper.
+[387.400 --> 389.400]  There's no baby change station in there.
+[389.400 --> 390.400]  Jacob was like a year and a half.
+[390.400 --> 392.400]  My daughter, Caitlin, was probably five.
+[392.400 --> 395.400]  And Trevor, my oldest son, was like six and a half.
+[395.400 --> 397.400]  And I come out of the men's room.
+[397.400 --> 398.400]  No baby change station.
+[398.400 --> 400.400]  I see a woman coming out of the women's room and I said,
+[400.400 --> 402.400]  hey, can you do me a favor?
+[402.400 --> 404.400]  Is there a baby change station in there?
+[404.400 --> 405.400]  And she said, yeah.
+[405.400 --> 407.400]  I said, is there anybody in there?
+[407.400 --> 408.400]  And she said, no.
+[408.400 --> 409.400]  I said, can you do me a favor?
+[409.400 --> 410.400]  Can you watch the door?
+[410.400 --> 411.400]  I just need to change my son.
+[411.400 --> 413.400]  And she was like, yeah, of course, no problem.
+[414.400 --> 416.400]  And so I put Jacob down on the baby change station.
+[416.400 --> 418.400]  I know we're under some sort of time constraint
+[418.400 --> 420.400]  because we're in the women's room.
+[420.400 --> 421.400]  And I take off his diaper.
+[421.400 --> 424.400]  And if you've ever changed a baby boy before,
+[424.400 --> 427.400]  you know that if you don't put the splash guard up.
+[429.400 --> 431.400]  There's a chance that when the air hits the dick,
+[431.400 --> 432.400]  they're going to pee all over you.
+[432.400 --> 435.400]  And so I took that diaper down and he peed all over me, man.
+[435.400 --> 438.400]  And I had never had pee in my mouth I hadn't paid for, you know?
+[444.400 --> 455.400]  So, I'm honestly too high to remember where I was in that story.
+[455.400 --> 458.400]  Oh, thank you.
+[458.400 --> 459.400]  I'm going to pee in my mouth.
+[459.400 --> 460.400]  Thank you, Deifers.
+[460.400 --> 465.400]  Thanks for screaming that out from the darkness.
+[465.400 --> 466.400]  I appreciate that.
+[466.400 --> 467.400]  P in my mouth.
+[467.400 --> 468.400]  Yeah, okay.
+[468.400 --> 469.400]  I got you.
+[470.400 --> 474.400]  And so I got this pee all over myself, man.
+[474.400 --> 476.400]  And I'm like, oh, eat.
+[476.400 --> 477.400]  And my daughter's there.
+[477.400 --> 479.400]  And so I take my shirt off and I head it to my daughter.
+[479.400 --> 480.400]  Now, I want to tell you something.
+[480.400 --> 483.400]  At five years old, my daughter was already the smartest,
+[483.400 --> 486.400]  most responsible person in my family.
+[486.400 --> 490.400]  If you have a girl, you know how smart they get.
+[490.400 --> 491.400]  Very quickly.
+[491.400 --> 493.400]  Look, if you have a three-year-old girl,
+[493.400 --> 496.400]  she can have a full conversation with you
+[497.400 --> 501.400]  and tell you about her feelings and why she has them.
+[501.400 --> 505.400]  A three-year-old boy is like, hey, I found my butthole again.
+[505.400 --> 507.400]  It's still back there.
+[507.400 --> 508.400]  Yesterday, I looked for it.
+[508.400 --> 510.400]  I guess my finger was in the wrong spot.
+[510.400 --> 512.400]  But today, I nailed it.
+[515.400 --> 518.400]  If you, is anyone had a girl and then a boy?
+[518.400 --> 520.400]  Okay, so when you have a girl and then a boy,
+[520.400 --> 524.400]  what happens is you have this three-year-old person
+[524.400 --> 529.400]  that you live with who has opinions in fucking intelligence
+[529.400 --> 532.400]  that's so far beyond anything you would imagine.
+[532.400 --> 535.400]  And then the boy comes at three and you're like,
+[535.400 --> 538.400]  I mean, we should get them tested, right?
+[538.400 --> 541.400]  I mean, no.
+[541.400 --> 543.400]  Boy, it's fucking.
+[543.400 --> 545.400]  And between one and two and boy,
+[545.400 --> 547.400]  when you hold, because you want to hold your son,
+[547.400 --> 549.400]  and they put their hand on your face
+[549.400 --> 551.400]  and you're like, oh, your finger was in your asshole again.
+[551.400 --> 552.400]  How about it?
+[553.400 --> 555.400]  It's the second time he gave me pink eye this month.
+[555.400 --> 557.400]  I'll tell you what.
+[562.400 --> 563.400]  Well, my daughter's smart, man.
+[563.400 --> 564.400]  She's smarter than all of them.
+[564.400 --> 566.400]  So I say to her, hey, I give her my shirt and I go, hey,
+[566.400 --> 567.400]  do me a favor.
+[567.400 --> 569.400]  Just put this in the under the water in the sink.
+[569.400 --> 570.400]  Just go a little bit pee out.
+[570.400 --> 572.400]  She said, okay.
+[572.400 --> 573.400]  And so I turn back to my oldest son,
+[573.400 --> 575.400]  and he's grabbing his butt like this.
+[575.400 --> 577.400]  He's going, ah, ah.
+[578.400 --> 581.400]  Ah, ah.
+[583.400 --> 587.400]  And I go, hey, we're not doing that in here.
+[588.400 --> 590.400]  We can wait for the men's room for that,
+[590.400 --> 591.400]  but we're not going to do that in here.
+[591.400 --> 593.400]  He was like, no, I really got to go right now.
+[593.400 --> 594.400]  I got to go right now.
+[594.400 --> 595.400]  And I was like, give me five minutes.
+[595.400 --> 596.400]  He was like, I don't have five minutes.
+[596.400 --> 598.400]  And he goes into the stall.
+[598.400 --> 600.400]  I'm like, eh.
+[600.400 --> 602.400]  Jacob's getting fidgety, right?
+[602.400 --> 604.400]  And guys, if you have more than one kid,
+[604.400 --> 608.400]  you know that you, different things work on different kids.
+[608.400 --> 609.400]  Right?
+[609.400 --> 612.400]  And the only way to calm Jacob down when he was a baby
+[612.400 --> 615.400]  was to hold him upside down by his feet.
+[615.400 --> 619.400]  It was something about, look, when the blood rushed into his head,
+[619.400 --> 622.400]  you could see him like, oh, you fell for it again, huh?
+[622.400 --> 623.400]  All right.
+[623.400 --> 627.400]  He fucking early stoner maneuver, for sure.
+[629.400 --> 633.400]  But so I turn back to my daughter to see how she's
+[633.400 --> 635.400]  doing with my shirt.
+[635.400 --> 638.400]  She's got the water on full blast.
+[638.400 --> 643.400]  And she's washing my shirt like she's down by the river.
+[643.400 --> 644.400]  You know what I mean?
+[644.400 --> 649.400]  Like she's cut it over a rock or some shit.
+[649.400 --> 651.400]  And I'm like, what are you doing?
+[651.400 --> 653.400]  And she goes, I'm trying to get all the pee out.
+[653.400 --> 655.400]  I said, babe, it's going to be wet all day.
+[655.400 --> 656.400]  And she goes, no, it's not.
+[656.400 --> 657.400]  I'm going to do this.
+[657.400 --> 664.400]  It was a real depressing moment because that realization,
+[664.400 --> 667.400]  I was like, hear my smartest kid, holy shit.
+[671.400 --> 672.400]  So it dawns on me.
+[672.400 --> 675.400]  We've been in this woman's room for too long.
+[675.400 --> 677.400]  Let's get out of here.
+[677.400 --> 680.400]  I knock on the stall door and I say to my son,
+[680.400 --> 684.400]  I go, hey, dude, pinch it off wherever you're at.
+[684.400 --> 685.400]  We go to get out of here.
+[685.400 --> 687.400]  And he goes, okay, hey, and he said, can you check me
+[687.400 --> 690.400]  to make sure I'm clean?
+[690.400 --> 691.400]  Yeah, you know.
+[691.400 --> 692.400]  Okay.
+[692.400 --> 693.400]  So look, parents, no.
+[693.400 --> 695.400]  Some of you who are our parents, there's a couple things
+[695.400 --> 697.400]  you need to know.
+[697.400 --> 701.400]  Things happen as a parent that they didn't write in any of the books.
+[701.400 --> 704.400]  And the reason they didn't write them in a book is because if
+[704.400 --> 706.400]  someone had ever written them in a book, everybody would have read it
+[706.400 --> 708.400]  and been like, I'm not being a fucking parent.
+[708.400 --> 709.400]  Are you kidding?
+[709.400 --> 711.400]  There are many things.
+[711.400 --> 714.400]  One of those things happens to be.
+[714.400 --> 717.400]  At some point in time, and your life as a parent, a small human
+[717.400 --> 720.400]  is going to walk into a room, your hand, they're going to be naked.
+[720.400 --> 723.400]  You don't get to pick the run.
+[723.400 --> 726.400]  And they're going to walk in, and they're going to turn around,
+[726.400 --> 730.400]  and they're going to go, hey, will you check this to make sure it's clean?
+[730.400 --> 734.400]  And the first time it happens is a fucking shocker.
+[734.400 --> 736.400]  You're like, what?
+[736.400 --> 737.400]  What is his parenting?
+[737.400 --> 738.400]  I quit.
+[738.400 --> 739.400]  I don't, what is that?
+[739.400 --> 741.400]  Is your asshole open right now?
+[741.400 --> 743.400]  How long does this stage last?
+[743.400 --> 744.400]  I don't like this.
+[744.400 --> 746.400]  You know you're in the living room right now.
+[746.400 --> 748.400]  Your asshole's open right in the living room.
+[748.400 --> 749.400]  Did you say hello to the guests?
+[749.400 --> 754.400]  Why is your asshole open in the living room?
+[754.400 --> 755.400]  Oh no, it fucks you up.
+[755.400 --> 756.400]  I'm not going to lie to you.
+[756.400 --> 757.400]  You're not ready for it.
+[757.400 --> 761.400]  But I was like, yeah, dude, I said, I'll take a look.
+[761.400 --> 766.400]  And I go to open the door, and it's locked.
+[766.400 --> 768.400]  And I go, dude, you get open the door.
+[768.400 --> 769.400]  I can't get in.
+[769.400 --> 772.400]  And he goes, I don't want to walk over there just in case I'm not clean.
+[773.400 --> 775.400]  And I go, well, how do you want me to check?
+[775.400 --> 778.400]  And he said, just look through the crack in the door.
+[780.400 --> 785.400]  So I'm looking through the crack in this bathroom door.
+[785.400 --> 788.400]  And I'm like, get closer, show me your butt hole.
+[788.400 --> 790.400]  I can't see it from there.
+[790.400 --> 792.400]  I can't see your butt hole from there.
+[792.400 --> 795.400]  You're going to have to get closer if you want me to see it.
+[795.400 --> 798.400]  And the woman walked in.
+[798.400 --> 800.400]  Yeah, not the one we left outside.
+[800.400 --> 802.400]  And just so many of you have never seen before.
+[802.400 --> 815.400]  And all she saw was a grown man shirtless, holding a naked baby upside down, peaking through a stall door,
+[815.400 --> 817.400]  going, get closer, show me your butt hole.
+[817.400 --> 819.400]  If you want me to see your butt hole, you're going to have to get closer.
+[820.400 --> 829.400]  Hey, hey, she didn't even see my daughter working like an Asian kid at a Nike factory.
+[835.400 --> 836.400]  Yo, she screamed.
+[836.400 --> 838.400]  She screamed and she ran out.
+[838.400 --> 840.400]  Yeah, I'm a blammer.
+[840.400 --> 842.400]  So I turned to the kids.
+[842.400 --> 845.400]  I'm like, hey, everybody, where you going to go?
+[846.400 --> 848.400]  Daddy's about to get arrested, you know?
+[848.400 --> 850.400]  It's time.
+[850.400 --> 855.400]  I just wanted to get out of there before she came back with whoever she went to go get.
+[855.400 --> 860.400]  So I put my wet pee shirt on and we put the diaper on Jacob.
+[860.400 --> 866.400]  And you could tell by my oldest son's walk he was not super confident in the wipe.
+[866.400 --> 868.400]  You know what I was like this?
+[868.400 --> 871.400]  And he kept talking about where he thought he missed.
+[871.400 --> 872.400]  Can I tell you something?
+[872.400 --> 874.400]  He was not confident, Wiberk.
+[874.400 --> 881.400]  His theory was that since he was a right hander, he was strong on the right, but we got on the left.
+[881.400 --> 884.400]  So he'd always be like, check the left.
+[884.400 --> 885.400]  Did I get the left?
+[885.400 --> 886.400]  Check the left.
+[889.400 --> 892.400]  So he's, well, he's waddling, you know?
+[892.400 --> 897.400]  And I'm just trying to get out of the store before this trouble, but here she comes, man.
+[897.400 --> 900.400]  And not with two security guards, with two police officers.
+[900.400 --> 913.400]  You could tell by the speed with which they walked towards me and the serious look on their faces that she had told them exactly what she saw.
+[913.400 --> 918.400]  Dude walked right up to me and he goes, hey.
+[918.400 --> 926.400]  Were you just sureless in the woman's room holding a naked baby upside down asking a woman to see her butthole?
+[927.400 --> 930.400]  I did, I laughed a little too.
+[930.400 --> 935.400]  I did because I was like, dude, I'm not going to lie to you when you run it together like that.
+[935.400 --> 936.400]  It does sound pretty bad.
+[936.400 --> 937.400]  Yeah, yeah.
+[937.400 --> 940.400]  Totally get why you walk towards me like that.
+[940.400 --> 947.400]  But he was like, hey, I go, no, man, you know, no baby changes station and my son had to poop and.
+[947.400 --> 948.400]  And he goes, oh, what's your kid?
+[948.400 --> 949.400]  I go right here.
+[949.400 --> 952.400]  And he was like, well, bring him over.
+[952.400 --> 953.400]  I need to verify.
+[957.400 --> 958.400]  I go verify.
+[958.400 --> 960.400]  Like, he's seven.
+[960.400 --> 967.400]  You know, he's already a little, I'm comfortable with the wiping situation.
+[967.400 --> 972.400]  But if you're talking about poop and it's really going to embarrass him, I was like, can we just not do that?
+[972.400 --> 979.400]  And he was like, no, actually, unless you want to see someone get embarrassed, I was like, no, get him right now.
+[979.400 --> 982.400]  But I walked over to him, man.
+[982.400 --> 985.400]  Do you know how badly I wanted to be like, hey, Jeff.
+[986.400 --> 988.400]  Just come show him.
+[988.400 --> 996.400]  Oh, he would have been too here to be like, see, I'm strong on the right, but the left is a little weak as probably where it is.
+[1000.400 --> 1003.400]  I won't say, man, it's a weird time to be a comment.
+[1003.400 --> 1009.400]  But people ask, you know, the question I get asked the most and I think a lot of people do is what's it like doing comedy during Gantle Culture?
+[1009.400 --> 1010.400]  That's made up.
+[1011.400 --> 1015.400]  Anybody who's ever been canceled is now a bigger star than they were before.
+[1015.400 --> 1017.400]  It's not hurting anyone's career.
+[1017.400 --> 1021.400]  So don't worry about it. Any type of comedy you want to see is going to be out there somewhere for you.
+[1021.400 --> 1025.400]  I will tell you, last year, somebody tried to get me a trouble for a joke I was telling.
+[1025.400 --> 1028.400]  I was telling a joke where this person had an accent.
+[1028.400 --> 1031.400]  And after a show, somebody was like, you can't do accents anymore.
+[1031.400 --> 1035.400]  They're offensive. And I was like, you should go back to sleep.
+[1036.400 --> 1041.400]  Here's a deal, man. Can accents be racist and offensive? Of course they can.
+[1041.400 --> 1043.400]  They're not when I use them.
+[1047.400 --> 1049.400]  Y'all, I'm just trying to tell a story.
+[1049.400 --> 1054.400]  And if I think the accent is important to the story, not gratuitous, but important to the story I'm using the accent.
+[1054.400 --> 1057.400]  Okay? I know what my intent is and my intent is just to make people laugh.
+[1057.400 --> 1062.400]  Let me give you the story and then you guys tell me if you think it was offensive.
+[1066.400 --> 1068.400]  I'm feeling pretty good so far.
+[1069.400 --> 1072.400]  So when I was a younger guy, man, I lived in a studio apartment.
+[1072.400 --> 1075.400]  You know, one room with this other guy.
+[1075.400 --> 1077.400]  And it's our beds are real close to each other.
+[1077.400 --> 1080.400]  The bed room is the living room is the kitchen, right?
+[1080.400 --> 1083.400]  And so if you've ever lived in close quarters like that with someone before,
+[1083.400 --> 1087.400]  and they were somebody who had a lot more sex than you did,
+[1089.400 --> 1091.400]  there's probably a pretty good chance.
+[1092.400 --> 1095.400]  You had to pretend like you were asleep at least one time.
+[1096.400 --> 1102.400]  And so I'm home on a Friday night and my roommate comes in.
+[1102.400 --> 1106.400]  And he's got this girl with him gorgeous, six-foot, super athletic.
+[1106.400 --> 1108.400]  We all know her. Super friendly.
+[1108.400 --> 1113.400]  One of the funniest people I've ever met truly a super successful lawyer.
+[1113.400 --> 1116.400]  And then they down in my roommate's bed.
+[1116.400 --> 1118.400]  Oh, and she also happened to be deaf.
+[1118.400 --> 1119.400]  Okay.
+[1121.400 --> 1122.400]  Don't get ahead of me.
+[1122.400 --> 1123.400]  Okay, here we go.
+[1123.400 --> 1124.400]  All right.
+[1125.400 --> 1126.400]  So...
+[1128.400 --> 1130.400]  They're in the bed behind me, right?
+[1130.400 --> 1133.400]  And I can just... I can hear them kissing just...
+[1138.400 --> 1141.400]  And then I can hear clothes rustling just...
+[1147.400 --> 1149.400]  And then they start to have sex.
+[1150.400 --> 1152.400]  And I just hear...
+[1167.400 --> 1171.400]  And I was like, is that bed haunted? Like, what the fuck?
+[1172.400 --> 1175.400]  Are they trying to find a dolphin on sonar over there?
+[1175.400 --> 1177.400]  What is going on?
+[1178.400 --> 1179.400]  And then they start to happen to faster.
+[1179.400 --> 1181.400]  And I was like, hmm, hmm, hmm.
+[1181.400 --> 1183.400]  And I was like, well, I gotta get out of here.
+[1183.400 --> 1184.400]  I don't like this at all.
+[1184.400 --> 1186.400]  This is not making me comfortable, you know?
+[1186.400 --> 1189.400]  So I tried to sneak out of the bed like a gentleman, you know?
+[1189.400 --> 1191.400]  And my buddy was like, hey!
+[1191.400 --> 1193.400]  Don't go anywhere!
+[1193.400 --> 1196.400]  He goes, if you leave, she's gonna know you can hear us
+[1196.400 --> 1198.400]  and she's gonna get embarrassed and she's gonna leave.
+[1198.400 --> 1200.400]  And I was like, dude.
+[1202.400 --> 1204.400]  Don't talk to me.
+[1208.400 --> 1211.400]  When you're having sex with her.
+[1212.400 --> 1216.400]  And he goes like this, he goes, she can't hear me.
+[1218.400 --> 1222.400]  I was like, hey, I don't feel good. I gotta go, dude. I don't know, I don't like it.
+[1222.400 --> 1225.400]  He goes, no, you gotta stick it out, man. You gotta stick it out.
+[1225.400 --> 1227.400]  And I was like, oh...
+[1227.400 --> 1229.400]  I said, all right, but speed it up!
+[1229.400 --> 1238.400]  So I got my back to him. Guys, I got the pillow squeezed.
+[1238.400 --> 1240.400]  So tightly over my ears.
+[1240.400 --> 1244.400]  No matter how tightly I had him squeezed, every now and then, you know what?
+[1244.400 --> 1246.400]  It would squeeze through.
+[1248.400 --> 1252.400]  And I was like, nah, I can't hear that ever again in my life.
+[1252.400 --> 1256.400]  So I rolled back over and I go, hey, man, how do we speed this up?
+[1256.400 --> 1258.400]  Do you need me to blow on your ass hole?
+[1258.400 --> 1262.400]  Like, hey, five minutes a day is worth this being over.
+[1262.400 --> 1264.400]  So you tell me what you need, dude.
+[1264.400 --> 1267.400]  You need a couple of my knuckles? I'm in there for you, dude.
+[1267.400 --> 1269.400]  Tell me where your button is.
+[1269.400 --> 1271.400]  I'll push that motherfucker right now.
+[1281.400 --> 1283.400]  I go, what's the problem? He goes, I have no...
+[1283.400 --> 1285.400]  I don't know why it's taking so long.
+[1285.400 --> 1287.400]  And I was like, fuck it, me neither.
+[1288.400 --> 1289.400]  What are we gonna do?
+[1289.400 --> 1291.400]  He was like, I'm gonna see if she'll go downtown.
+[1291.400 --> 1293.400]  I mean, sometimes that makes things go faster.
+[1293.400 --> 1294.400]  I said, okay.
+[1297.400 --> 1300.400]  So, right, there's beds behind me.
+[1300.400 --> 1303.400]  And then, by the way, I just, all of a sudden, I can't hear her.
+[1303.400 --> 1305.400]  But I can hear him.
+[1306.400 --> 1308.400]  It's worse.
+[1310.400 --> 1314.400]  It's quiet, and then just like a couple minutes later.
+[1314.400 --> 1316.400]  Because I still have the pillow over my...
+[1316.400 --> 1318.400]  I just hear...
+[1332.400 --> 1335.400]  By the way, remember, my back is to him.
+[1335.400 --> 1338.400]  And I'm trying not to look, you know?
+[1338.400 --> 1340.400]  And I just, all I hear is,
+[1340.400 --> 1342.400]  all I hear is,
+[1346.400 --> 1348.400]  and I was like,
+[1350.400 --> 1353.400]  I kind of need to know what that noise is.
+[1355.400 --> 1360.400]  I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hadn't turned and just looked once, right?
+[1360.400 --> 1363.400]  And I turned, and she is going downtown on them.
+[1363.400 --> 1366.400]  He's scooched up to the top of the bed, right?
+[1366.400 --> 1368.400]  And I just seem going,
+[1372.400 --> 1374.400]  So, I just lean in and I go,
+[1377.400 --> 1379.400]  Dude!
+[1384.400 --> 1387.400]  What the fuck is happening right now?
+[1390.400 --> 1392.400]  And I'm going to tell you what he said.
+[1392.400 --> 1394.400]  I didn't need to write a punchline, because I knew I wouldn't beat it.
+[1394.400 --> 1396.400]  This is exactly what he said to me.
+[1396.400 --> 1398.400]  He goes,
+[1400.400 --> 1402.400]  She's so toothy!
+[1406.400 --> 1407.400]  I said, what?
+[1407.400 --> 1410.400]  He goes, yeah, I keep trying to tell him to stop, but she can't hear me?
+[1412.400 --> 1413.400]  I said, what are you going to do?
+[1413.400 --> 1417.400]  He goes, why I tried to scoot you out of the way, but I ran out of room, I'm at the top of the bed?
+[1418.400 --> 1419.400]  I go, what's going to happen?
+[1419.400 --> 1421.400]  He goes, turn your head, you're not going to see this.
+[1421.400 --> 1423.400]  Which made me go, what are you going to do?
+[1425.400 --> 1432.400]  And I turned back just in time, guys, to see him gently cup the side of her head and just go, no!
+[1440.400 --> 1445.400]  And I will tell you one last thing, man, the guy who was really mad about that joke who caught me outside.
+[1446.400 --> 1449.400]  He came up to me, he was so specific to me, he was like, hey,
+[1450.400 --> 1451.400]  That joke, huh?
+[1451.400 --> 1455.400]  I go, yeah, and he was like, he's still friends with those people and I was like, yeah.
+[1455.400 --> 1457.400]  And he goes, how's she going to like that joke?
+[1457.400 --> 1459.400]  And I was like, she's never going to hear it.
+[1466.400 --> 1470.400]  And if she comes to the show, I'm going to do the joke like this, it'll totally fuck her up.
+[1470.400 --> 1472.400]  She's not going to know what's happening.
+[1475.400 --> 1477.400]  Hey, you guys got a good weed up here, by the way.
+[1477.400 --> 1478.400]  Congratulations.
+[1482.400 --> 1487.400]  I no longer fly into Canada with weed, I fell for that a couple too many times.
+[1492.400 --> 1495.400]  I do always fly, I'm a nervous flyer.
+[1495.400 --> 1497.400]  Are any nervous flyers in here?
+[1498.400 --> 1501.400]  Yeah, and do you medicate before you get on the plane?
+[1501.400 --> 1502.400]  You do, yeah, me too.
+[1502.400 --> 1504.400]  I take like a hundred milligrams of edible.
+[1505.400 --> 1507.400]  And it's not my first flight, everybody.
+[1507.400 --> 1510.400]  I've been on a bunch of planes.
+[1510.400 --> 1514.400]  And yeah, now I've lived in a legal, a state with legal weed for a long time,
+[1514.400 --> 1518.400]  so my tolerance is probably higher than it should be, or needs to be.
+[1518.400 --> 1522.400]  But I'll take a hundred milligrams so I can relax and sleep on the plane.
+[1522.400 --> 1525.400]  Now I'll tell you this about edibles for me.
+[1525.400 --> 1530.400]  If I can fight through the sleep part of the edible, it makes me super alert.
+[1530.400 --> 1533.400]  Does that happen to anybody else? Super focused.
+[1533.400 --> 1535.400]  It gets shit done, right?
+[1535.400 --> 1539.400]  Okay, so I missed time by edible.
+[1539.400 --> 1541.400]  I was getting sleepy in the airport.
+[1541.400 --> 1543.400]  I'm like, I can't fall asleep in the airport.
+[1543.400 --> 1545.400]  So I fight through the sleep.
+[1545.400 --> 1548.400]  And when I get on that plane, I am alert like...
+[1548.400 --> 1550.400]  Alert, right?
+[1550.400 --> 1553.400]  And so they seat me in the exit row.
+[1553.400 --> 1556.400]  And it's a small plane, so there's only two seats.
+[1556.400 --> 1558.400]  And there's nobody next to me.
+[1558.400 --> 1561.400]  And if you've never been in an exit row before,
+[1561.400 --> 1565.400]  you take off, the flight attendant will come down to you and say,
+[1565.400 --> 1567.400]  you're in the exit row.
+[1567.400 --> 1572.400]  In case of an emergency, I need to know that you're willing and able to assist.
+[1572.400 --> 1576.400]  And I need a verbal confirmation.
+[1576.400 --> 1579.400]  So she comes down to me and she goes, you're in the exit row.
+[1579.400 --> 1584.400]  In case of an emergency, I need to know that you're willing and able to assist.
+[1584.400 --> 1586.400]  And I need a verbal confirmation.
+[1586.400 --> 1588.400]  And I look at her and I go,
+[1588.400 --> 1590.400]  I am ready.
+[1590.400 --> 1598.400]  And she said, I definitely did not ask you that.
+[1598.400 --> 1604.400]  She said, I need to know that you're willing and able to assist.
+[1604.400 --> 1607.400]  And I need a verbal confirmation.
+[1607.400 --> 1609.400]  And I was like, yeah, I'm willing and able.
+[1609.400 --> 1611.400]  I'm also ready.
+[1611.400 --> 1614.400]  She, by the way, she was pretty funny.
+[1614.400 --> 1616.400]  She was like, that's great.
+[1616.400 --> 1618.400]  I'll let everyone know.
+[1618.400 --> 1622.400]  And she walked up the aisle.
+[1622.400 --> 1628.400]  Now, look, guys, when I'm not focused, I'm lasered in on my job.
+[1628.400 --> 1632.400]  And my job is to be willing and able to assist.
+[1632.400 --> 1636.400]  And so I think in order to do that to the best of my capability,
+[1636.400 --> 1638.400]  I've never been in this position before,
+[1638.400 --> 1644.400]  I should probably open up a line of communication with the guy in the exit row across me.
+[1644.400 --> 1647.400]  My thinking at the time is, if shit goes down,
+[1647.400 --> 1650.400]  it's better to be a team, you know?
+[1650.400 --> 1654.400]  At least we should have a, you know, a get to know you.
+[1654.400 --> 1658.400]  So he's got the earbuds in and I'm going, oh, oh, oh.
+[1658.400 --> 1661.400]  Hey.
+[1661.400 --> 1662.400]  And he takes his earbuds out.
+[1662.400 --> 1670.400]  He goes, yeah, I go, hey, dude, we're in the exit row.
+[1670.400 --> 1673.400]  And, you know, we need to be willing and able to assist.
+[1673.400 --> 1679.400]  So I thought maybe we should get to know each other.
+[1679.400 --> 1684.400]  And he goes, why would you think that?
+[1684.400 --> 1686.400]  And I was like, well, just in case something happens, man,
+[1686.400 --> 1689.400]  I thought maybe we should have a plan.
+[1689.400 --> 1692.400]  Just something real quick.
+[1692.400 --> 1695.400]  And he goes, I'm going to sleep.
+[1695.400 --> 1699.400]  And then I said, maybe the dumbest thing I've ever said to another human being out loud.
+[1699.400 --> 1706.400]  I said, I'll cover for you.
+[1706.400 --> 1708.400]  Yo, he gave me one of these guys.
+[1708.400 --> 1711.400]  If a stranger does this to you, they don't fucking like you at all.
+[1711.400 --> 1713.400]  This is a fuck you.
+[1713.400 --> 1715.400]  That's a fuck you to someone.
+[1715.400 --> 1719.400]  Ha, ha, right to your face.
+[1719.400 --> 1724.400]  So the plane takes off.
+[1724.400 --> 1728.400]  Guys, 15 minutes into the flight, it fucking.
+[1729.400 --> 1731.400]  Has anyone ever been on the plane?
+[1731.400 --> 1733.400]  It fucks you up, right?
+[1733.400 --> 1736.400]  Now I'll tell you something, they scared me so much, guys.
+[1736.400 --> 1739.400]  That to this day, I'm jumpy, man, I'm jumping.
+[1739.400 --> 1743.400]  And to this day, if you scare me, I'm going to jazz hand, 100% of the time.
+[1743.400 --> 1746.400]  Not only am I going to jazz hand, it's going to come along with this noise.
+[1746.400 --> 1750.400]  Ha, ha, every time.
+[1750.400 --> 1753.400]  So the plane fucking.
+[1753.400 --> 1755.400]  Me.
+[1755.400 --> 1764.400]  The dude in the exit row across from me leans over and he goes, not willing and able.
+[1764.400 --> 1768.400]  I was scared, I was clutching the pearls and shit, I was like, what is that?
+[1768.400 --> 1774.400]  I looked out the window and there was lightning and I was like, not me, nope.
+[1774.400 --> 1777.400]  And here she comes down the aisle.
+[1777.400 --> 1784.400]  And she, she goes, hey, I go, hey.
+[1786.400 --> 1790.400]  You remember when we spoke earlier?
+[1790.400 --> 1795.400]  She goes, yeah, I go and you remember when you asked me if I was willing and able?
+[1795.400 --> 1798.400]  She was like, yeah, I go, I'm not.
+[1798.400 --> 1800.400]  She said, you're not willing and able?
+[1800.400 --> 1803.400]  I go, or ready, I'm not that guy anymore.
+[1803.400 --> 1805.400]  I don't know where that guy went, but he's not here.
+[1805.400 --> 1807.400]  So I said, can you switch me out?
+[1807.400 --> 1809.400]  And she was like, what do you mean?
+[1809.400 --> 1814.400]  I go, well, don't you have an alternate for the, she said, you think we have an alternate seats for you?
+[1814.400 --> 1816.400]  Alternate seats for the exit row?
+[1816.400 --> 1819.400]  And I said, yeah, she was like, no.
+[1819.400 --> 1821.400]  But it's just a weather pattern, I promise you, it's going to be okay.
+[1821.400 --> 1823.400]  It's going to be okay.
+[1823.400 --> 1824.400]  We're going to fly through it.
+[1824.400 --> 1825.400]  If you need me again, ding me.
+[1825.400 --> 1827.400]  And I said, okay.
+[1827.400 --> 1834.400]  So I'm sitting in the exit row and guys, if you've taken an edible before, you've had at least one bad night.
+[1834.400 --> 1837.400]  We're shit spiraled out of control.
+[1837.400 --> 1840.400]  And you were just trying to talk yourself down off the ledge.
+[1840.400 --> 1843.400]  I was doing exactly what all you guys do.
+[1843.400 --> 1850.400]  I was in that exit row rocking back and forth, going, you're okay.
+[1850.400 --> 1853.400]  You can't ody on an edible.
+[1853.400 --> 1857.400]  I don't think does altitude make you higher?
+[1857.400 --> 1860.400]  Like just fucking spiraling, right?
+[1860.400 --> 1866.400]  And I'm starting to calm down a little bit in the plane.
+[1866.400 --> 1867.400]  Me.
+[1867.400 --> 1871.400]  And I was like, hey, fuck this.
+[1871.400 --> 1874.400]  And I tapped the dude on the shoulder he's sitting in front of me.
+[1874.400 --> 1876.400]  Hey, you got to go.
+[1876.400 --> 1878.400]  Hey, you got to go.
+[1878.400 --> 1880.400]  Hey, you got to go.
+[1880.400 --> 1882.400]  Hey, I'll finish this story.
+[1882.400 --> 1883.400]  You got to go.
+[1883.400 --> 1885.400]  Yeah, I'm so sorry.
+[1885.400 --> 1886.400]  I'm so sorry.
+[1886.400 --> 1887.400]  There's a mic right next to you.
+[1887.400 --> 1891.400]  I'm not going to get the other any of this.
+[1891.400 --> 1894.400]  And so, like, I'm like, all right.
+[1894.400 --> 1895.400]  I'm like, okay.
+[1895.400 --> 1897.400]  I take the shirt off.
+[1897.400 --> 1900.400]  Hey, can you, I'm going to say this one time to you and only one time to you.
+[1900.400 --> 1901.400]  No, look at me.
+[1901.400 --> 1902.400]  I'm going to say this one time to you.
+[1902.400 --> 1905.400]  If I have to tell you to quiet down again, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
+[1905.400 --> 1906.400]  This is my one time.
+[1906.400 --> 1907.400]  I'm totally with you.
+[1907.400 --> 1910.400]  Okay, just wanted to say that out loud one time.
+[1910.400 --> 1912.400]  I want you to stay.
+[1912.400 --> 1914.400]  Cool, cool, cool, nice.
+[1914.400 --> 1918.400]  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're good.
+[1918.400 --> 1921.400]  Four more footsteps and you'd have been fucking out of here.
+[1921.400 --> 1922.400]  How's it going?
+[1922.400 --> 1923.400]  Right now.
+[1923.400 --> 1929.400]  I heard a fucking dead sprint coming down.
+[1929.400 --> 1932.400]  I'm like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that.
+[1932.400 --> 1936.400]  That was like, Morse code from coming to kick her the fuck out.
+[1936.400 --> 1940.400]  Cool, thank you, man.
+[1940.400 --> 1943.400]  Appreciate it.
+[1943.400 --> 1947.400]  Everybody has not to be dead.
+[1947.400 --> 1948.400]  That's quiet.
+[1948.400 --> 1949.400]  I mean, I don't know.
+[1949.400 --> 1950.400]  Nobody died or anything.
+[1950.400 --> 1952.400]  We're just kind of pausing down.
+[1952.400 --> 1955.400]  And then, it's not, I wasn't actually this a man.
+[1955.400 --> 1960.400]  I want to tell you, this is not, I've performed a gazillion times.
+[1960.400 --> 1966.400]  So I wanted to, I want you to know that, this is one of the things that I love the most, the most about live shows.
+[1966.400 --> 1970.400]  I, I, I've done shows where all of the lights went out.
+[1970.400 --> 1973.400]  And I couldn't use a microphone.
+[1973.400 --> 1978.400]  I actually had to go pee in the middle of that show.
+[1978.400 --> 1982.400]  It was in Salt Lake and I said, and I was,
+[1982.400 --> 1985.400]  I have nobody to help you wear.
+[1985.400 --> 1990.400]  Nobody's following me in.
+[1990.400 --> 1994.400]  But some dude did.
+[1994.400 --> 1999.400]  Tio, and he stood at the urinal next to me.
+[1999.400 --> 2003.400]  Didn't take his dick out.
+[2003.400 --> 2006.400]  And I'm peeing or fucking trying to.
+[2006.400 --> 2007.400]  Do you know what I mean?
+[2007.400 --> 2008.400]  A little bit of stage fright.
+[2008.400 --> 2010.400]  I'm like, what's happening right now?
+[2010.400 --> 2015.400]  And he looks at me and he goes, never thought I'd be this close to you.
+[2015.400 --> 2023.400]  I'm like, and by the way, I'm thinking, if I thought it was uncomfortable before, it is fucking on a 10 right now.
+[2023.400 --> 2027.400]  I've seen people of a couple finger bang each other.
+[2027.400 --> 2030.400]  Oh my god, yeah.
+[2030.400 --> 2033.400]  Well, it wasn't like each other.
+[2033.400 --> 2037.400]  It was, it was just him.
+[2037.400 --> 2042.400]  Yeah, it wasn't like a fuck.
+[2042.400 --> 2044.400]  Yeah, that happened in Cleveland.
+[2044.400 --> 2046.400]  The weirdest part wasn't the finger bang.
+[2046.400 --> 2050.400]  It was that he eyeballed me the whole fucking time.
+[2050.400 --> 2052.400]  I was like, this is some prison shit right now.
+[2052.400 --> 2053.400]  I'm not kind of out of it.
+[2053.400 --> 2059.400]  I mean, I'm hard, but whatever.
+[2059.400 --> 2062.400]  So what my point is, I like live shows, man.
+[2062.400 --> 2066.400]  And it's one of the reasons I did, I recorded here in a place like this.
+[2066.400 --> 2069.400]  Because it's a wake, it's alive.
+[2069.400 --> 2073.400]  There's a fucking energy in here.
+[2073.400 --> 2078.400]  P.M. Malfke, where was I?
+[2078.400 --> 2084.400]  Oh, what's that?
+[2084.400 --> 2085.400]  Second drop.
+[2085.400 --> 2089.400]  Thank you so much.
+[2089.400 --> 2095.400]  Okay, well listen, we'll see if this joke works when you stop it for 10 minutes.
+[2095.400 --> 2106.400]  I wish I could do like, you know, they recap at the beginning of a show where I just go, let me just...
+[2106.400 --> 2108.400]  You tapped the guy on the shoulder.
+[2108.400 --> 2110.400]  Yeah, nope, thanks.
+[2110.400 --> 2112.400]  P.M. Malfke is paying attention.
+[2112.400 --> 2115.400]  Holy shit.
+[2115.400 --> 2116.400]  Well, that's a tough nickname.
+[2116.400 --> 2117.400]  I'll come up with a different one for you.
+[2117.400 --> 2122.400]  I don't do that to make you fuck.
+[2122.400 --> 2127.400]  So the...
+[2127.400 --> 2130.400]  Okay.
+[2130.400 --> 2139.400]  And it's out the dude on the shoulder.
+[2139.400 --> 2140.400]  He's sitting in front of me.
+[2140.400 --> 2142.400]  And I'm like, hey.
+[2142.400 --> 2143.400]  And he goes, what's up?
+[2143.400 --> 2149.400]  I go, how's this flight been for you?
+[2149.400 --> 2150.400]  And he goes, it's fine.
+[2150.400 --> 2153.400]  I go, cool, switch seats with me.
+[2153.400 --> 2154.400]  And he was like, what?
+[2154.400 --> 2155.400]  I go, dude, I don't know if you know this.
+[2155.400 --> 2159.400]  But back in this row, you have to be willing and able to assist.
+[2159.400 --> 2161.400]  I'm just not anymore.
+[2161.400 --> 2163.400]  So just switch seats with me.
+[2163.400 --> 2165.400]  And he goes, dude, I don't want to sit back there.
+[2165.400 --> 2166.400]  That seat doesn't recline.
+[2166.400 --> 2172.400]  Guys, you know, I walked on the plane 100 milligrams of confidence.
+[2172.400 --> 2175.400]  I am now 100 milligrams of anxiety.
+[2175.400 --> 2177.400]  And I'm trying to explain to this dude,
+[2177.400 --> 2179.400]  yo man, this is where the heroes sit.
+[2179.400 --> 2180.400]  Do you know what I mean?
+[2180.400 --> 2184.400]  This is who helps the survivors off the plane, bro.
+[2184.400 --> 2186.400]  I can't even help myself right now.
+[2186.400 --> 2188.400]  I need you to sit here.
+[2188.400 --> 2190.400]  I'm 100 milligrams of anxiety, guys.
+[2190.400 --> 2192.400]  I'm trying to explain to this dude why he's so important.
+[2192.400 --> 2195.400]  And he stands up and he says this to me.
+[2195.400 --> 2198.400]  He goes, hey, dude, if we crash, everybody dies.
+[2198.400 --> 2200.400]  It doesn't matter where he's sitting.
+[2200.400 --> 2202.400]  pyt rocky bye man.
+[2202.400 --> 2203.400]  Just chill out.
+[2218.040 --> 2219.400]  Yeah, she came running down.
+[2219.400 --> 2221.160]  I hit the button 17 times.
+[2221.160 --> 2223.160]  I think she knew something was up, you know?
+[2223.160 --> 2228.160]  She goes, yeah, I go ahead and just said if we crash,
+[2228.160 --> 2235.440]  on this plane and she goes, could you keep your voice down a little bit?
+[2235.440 --> 2239.760]  She said, first of all, we're not crashing.
+[2239.760 --> 2241.720]  We're not crashing.
+[2241.720 --> 2243.040]  We're not crashing.
+[2243.040 --> 2246.960]  And she looks at the guy and she goes, why?
+[2246.960 --> 2249.600]  Why would you tell him everybody dies?
+[2249.600 --> 2252.400]  Why would you say that to him?
+[2252.400 --> 2257.800]  And the guy goes, he's a grown man.
+[2257.800 --> 2258.800]  I'm not stunned a little bit.
+[2258.800 --> 2259.800]  I'm not going to lie to you.
+[2259.800 --> 2260.800]  I was like, oh.
+[2260.800 --> 2263.400]  I don't blame a man.
+[2263.400 --> 2264.800]  He's sat in front of two.
+[2264.800 --> 2271.200]  He's not sure what's happening behind him really.
+[2271.200 --> 2273.240]  So I say to her, I go, look, I'm about to freak out.
+[2273.240 --> 2278.200]  I don't feel prepared or ready for this seat and switch me out.
+[2278.200 --> 2281.000]  And she goes, I really don't know what to do.
+[2281.000 --> 2283.440]  We've already calibrated the weight on the plane.
+[2283.440 --> 2287.760]  And I was like, well, what if I don't believe in that?
+[2287.760 --> 2290.960]  She was like, that doesn't matter.
+[2290.960 --> 2292.040]  I said, I don't know what to do.
+[2292.040 --> 2294.320]  And she goes, me neither.
+[2294.320 --> 2296.240]  We're just going to have to see how it goes.
+[2296.240 --> 2301.640]  And I was like, I asked the captain.
+[2301.640 --> 2302.560]  She was like, what?
+[2302.560 --> 2303.640]  I go, ask.
+[2303.640 --> 2306.520]  If the captain makes an announcement and is like, hey,
+[2306.520 --> 2309.080]  well, someone switched seats with us due because he's scared.
+[2312.680 --> 2315.080]  Someone, everybody loves the captain.
+[2315.080 --> 2317.600]  Somebody's going to be like, fucking, I, I, Captain.
+[2317.600 --> 2319.760]  And they're going to come by and they're going to switch seats with me.
+[2319.760 --> 2321.600]  It's a Jimmy Favourite Ask the Captain.
+[2321.600 --> 2325.360]  And she goes, you want me to ask the captain
+[2325.360 --> 2331.600]  to see if someone will switch seats with you because you're scared?
+[2331.600 --> 2334.040]  And I was like, yeah, that would be great.
+[2334.040 --> 2334.320]  Thanks.
+[2334.320 --> 2334.920]  I appreciate it.
+[2334.920 --> 2336.320]  Yeah.
+[2336.320 --> 2337.080]  Guys, not kidding.
+[2337.080 --> 2337.760]  Five minutes later.
+[2337.760 --> 2358.000]  You could tell by that side, he did not want to make that particular announcement at all.
+[2358.000 --> 2366.320]  And he was just like, this is Captain speaking.
+[2366.320 --> 2373.320]  I want to apologize.
+[2373.320 --> 2374.320]  I understand.
+[2374.320 --> 2377.320]  Let's get a little bumpy back there.
+[2377.320 --> 2379.320]  I'll tell you what we're going to do.
+[2379.320 --> 2381.320]  It's just a little bit of a weather pattern.
+[2381.320 --> 2386.080]  We're going to go ahead and fly around it.
+[2386.080 --> 2388.320]  Might add a couple minutes to the trip.
+[2388.320 --> 2395.880]  But I think one person's going to be really happy.
+[2395.880 --> 2398.320]  And no switch seats, OK?
+[2398.320 --> 2399.880]  He said that with his real voice.
+[2399.880 --> 2402.360]  That's not his sexy one.
+[2402.360 --> 2405.000]  He was like, hey, dude, he was talking to me.
+[2405.000 --> 2407.960]  And I white knuckle the rest of the flight.
+[2407.960 --> 2417.120]  When you land, a lot of times the flight attendant and pilot will greet you on your way off
+[2417.120 --> 2418.120]  the plane.
+[2418.120 --> 2419.040]  Thank you for flying on this.
+[2419.040 --> 2420.800]  We appreciate your business.
+[2420.800 --> 2421.640]  Thank you for flying on this.
+[2421.640 --> 2423.040]  We appreciate your business.
+[2423.040 --> 2424.040]  Thank you for flying with us.
+[2424.040 --> 2425.840]  We appreciate your business.
+[2425.840 --> 2434.440]  And I walked up and she was just like, and he reached into his pocket.
+[2434.440 --> 2438.920]  And he gave me a set of those little wings that they give kids.
+[2438.920 --> 2440.240]  He goes, here you go, little buddy.
+[2440.240 --> 2441.240]  He called me little buddy.
+[2441.240 --> 2451.720]  We want to think, I think, Jacob, and I, we're most different on, is like, when I told
+[2451.720 --> 2456.000]  him that I had a fuck your feelings relationship with my friends.
+[2456.000 --> 2460.600]  And that doesn't mean we love each other, but it means you can say whatever you want to
+[2460.600 --> 2461.600]  eat.
+[2461.600 --> 2463.600]  You say the worst things to your best friends.
+[2463.600 --> 2464.920]  That's what happens.
+[2464.920 --> 2467.520]  That's why they're your best friends, you know?
+[2467.520 --> 2473.600]  And I had this group of dudes that I went to a spring break on.
+[2473.600 --> 2476.480]  Definitely a fuck your feelings group of dudes.
+[2476.480 --> 2480.840]  And by the way, if you have feelings, you're in the wrong friend group.
+[2480.840 --> 2483.840]  That's basically how that goes, you know?
+[2483.840 --> 2491.320]  And I remember one time, we, by the way, when I was a freshman, I didn't do, I did drugs,
+[2491.320 --> 2494.160]  but because I didn't do them in high school.
+[2494.160 --> 2497.320]  I didn't do in high school because my brothers did him and I was like, well, they did
+[2497.320 --> 2498.320]  him.
+[2498.320 --> 2501.320]  I'm just going to do all mine when I leave the house, like a gentleman, you know?
+[2501.320 --> 2505.320]  And so the first year, I was really into a drug called ecstasy.
+[2505.320 --> 2506.320]  Okay?
+[2506.320 --> 2509.280]  We know who's holding in here.
+[2510.000 --> 2513.160]  But, and I'll tell you something about ecstasy guys.
+[2513.160 --> 2517.240]  Ecstasy is the only drug I ever took that changed me physically.
+[2517.240 --> 2520.360]  You could tell by looking at me that I was doing ecstasy.
+[2520.360 --> 2521.600]  It's the only drug, okay?
+[2521.600 --> 2525.480]  So for whatever reason, and I don't know why, but for whatever reason, when I took ecstasy,
+[2525.480 --> 2531.000]  my right eye stopped working.
+[2531.000 --> 2533.080]  And every now and then, it would pop open like, what's going on?
+[2533.080 --> 2537.480]  Nothing cool and just shut again.
+[2537.480 --> 2543.400]  Not only fat, but my lower lip, not my upper lip, just my lower lip got super dry.
+[2543.400 --> 2546.600]  So I was this dude.
+[2546.600 --> 2555.320]  Walking around trying to big up girls, like, what's up?
+[2555.320 --> 2556.280]  And I'll tell you something else.
+[2556.280 --> 2559.800]  So when I was, I really wanted to have sex on this spring break.
+[2559.800 --> 2563.080]  And I thought the only way for me to have sex, and I don't know why I thought this, was
+[2563.080 --> 2564.840]  if I danced with somebody.
+[2564.840 --> 2566.520]  And I didn't know how to dance.
+[2566.520 --> 2568.800]  So I was like, I want to invent my own dance.
+[2568.800 --> 2571.120]  This is pre-YouTube, pre-tick talk.
+[2571.120 --> 2573.280]  Guys my age, we were not out inventing dances.
+[2573.280 --> 2576.760]  Pee in my mouth guys, not in dancing dances, right?
+[2576.760 --> 2583.080]  And so I was like, if I make it weird enough, I think somebody might have sex with me.
+[2583.080 --> 2588.760]  So I go to the club, we're at spring break, me and these dudes, and around the club, and
+[2588.760 --> 2590.480]  I see this girl.
+[2590.480 --> 2593.760]  And I walk up to her and I'm like, ha ha ha.
+[2593.760 --> 2600.760]  I will tell you by the way, look, I was not confident in approaching women.
+[2600.760 --> 2603.480]  I was, if I had met you before, I could talk to you about anything.
+[2603.480 --> 2606.360]  But if I had never met you before, it was so hard for me.
+[2606.360 --> 2612.680]  And guys who could walk up to a group of women, man, that is take your dick out energy.
+[2612.680 --> 2614.680]  I just never fucking had, you know?
+[2614.680 --> 2621.480]  And plus, I think somewhere in the DNA of men is Hunter.
+[2621.480 --> 2625.880]  And the Hunter's instinct is not to attack the pack.
+[2625.880 --> 2628.840]  I'm going after the three-legged animal, up down by the watering hole.
+[2628.840 --> 2630.240]  Are you kidding me right now?
+[2630.240 --> 2631.240]  I don't want a runner.
+[2631.240 --> 2633.400]  I want one with a limp that can't get away.
+[2633.400 --> 2634.400]  This is the one I want.
+[2634.400 --> 2639.480]  I'm not trying to make it harder on myself, everybody, you know?
+[2639.480 --> 2646.840]  So I walk up to this girl and I'm like, ha ha.
+[2646.840 --> 2656.760]  I said, you...
+[2656.760 --> 2658.920]  You want a dance?
+[2658.920 --> 2662.120]  And she said, absolutely not.
+[2662.120 --> 2663.120]  She started to walk away.
+[2663.120 --> 2664.120]  I go, hey, don't go anywhere.
+[2664.120 --> 2665.120]  I invented my own dance.
+[2665.120 --> 2668.760]  And if you dance with me, I'll show it to you.
+[2668.760 --> 2671.920]  And she said, are you a good dancer?
+[2671.920 --> 2674.920]  And I was like, not particularly, no.
+[2674.920 --> 2678.160]  And she said, then I will absolutely dance with you.
+[2678.160 --> 2682.000]  However, if you stop doing the dance at any point in time during the song, I'm done.
+[2682.000 --> 2683.440]  I get to see it the whole time.
+[2683.440 --> 2685.560]  And I was like, yeah, absolutely.
+[2685.560 --> 2691.360]  And so, look, I had only practiced the dance to one song.
+[2691.360 --> 2692.760]  So I needed the DJ to play the song.
+[2692.760 --> 2696.160]  I wasn't confident that I could do the dance to a different song, right?
+[2696.160 --> 2698.840]  So I walk up to that girl, let me get the DJ to play my song.
+[2698.840 --> 2703.480]  And I walk up to the DJ and I'm like, hey, man.
+[2703.480 --> 2712.360]  I invented my own dance.
+[2712.360 --> 2718.160]  And he goes, I can't take a one good reason why you tell me that.
+[2718.160 --> 2720.400]  And I go, oh, no, no, no.
+[2720.400 --> 2722.120]  This girl, she's going to dance with me.
+[2722.120 --> 2723.280]  I'm going to do the dance.
+[2723.280 --> 2725.120]  I'm going to get laid for sure.
+[2725.120 --> 2726.480]  I go play the song.
+[2726.480 --> 2727.480]  And he goes, what's the song?
+[2727.480 --> 2728.480]  And I tell him.
+[2728.480 --> 2730.320]  And he was like, it's too late for that song.
+[2730.320 --> 2732.920]  If you come back tomorrow or 10, I'll play it for both of you.
+[2732.920 --> 2734.720]  And I was like, well, how am I going to get her back here?
+[2734.720 --> 2736.520]  And he, this dude, just leaned outside the booth.
+[2736.520 --> 2738.880]  He goes, hey, hey, come back tomorrow or 10.
+[2738.880 --> 2739.880]  I'll play the song.
+[2739.880 --> 2743.400]  He'll do the dance.
+[2743.400 --> 2746.000]  So I show up in 945 the next night, guys, fucking.
+[2746.000 --> 2747.000]  Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+[2751.320 --> 2755.000]  And in she walks, but she's not by herself tonight.
+[2755.000 --> 2756.040]  Oh, no, come on, man.
+[2756.040 --> 2758.280]  Every woman in here knows.
+[2758.280 --> 2760.680]  She went home to her friends and she was like, hey,
+[2760.680 --> 2761.320]  guess what?
+[2761.320 --> 2764.360]  We're doing tomorrow.
+[2764.360 --> 2766.920]  Some dry lit pirate invented his own dance.
+[2773.160 --> 2774.160]  So they walk in.
+[2774.160 --> 2775.160]  We're waving each other.
+[2775.160 --> 2777.040]  It's getting near 10 o'clock.
+[2777.040 --> 2778.960]  And the dance force about this big.
+[2778.960 --> 2781.600]  And I say to her, I go, hey, maybe on the dance floor,
+[2781.600 --> 2783.800]  I got to get him to play the song.
+[2783.800 --> 2785.320]  She goes, OK.
+[2785.320 --> 2790.320]  So I walk up to the DJ and I go, hey, man, this fucking guy,
+[2790.320 --> 2797.120]  I go, hey, man, you remember me?
+[2797.120 --> 2801.320]  And he goes, yeah, dude.
+[2801.320 --> 2802.720]  And he was like, you get the song?
+[2802.720 --> 2803.480]  You ready for the song?
+[2803.480 --> 2804.960]  I go, I'm ready for the song.
+[2804.960 --> 2806.920]  I go, play the song.
+[2806.920 --> 2807.760]  I'm on, do the dance.
+[2807.760 --> 2808.640]  I'm going to lay for sure.
+[2808.640 --> 2809.560]  I go, but give me a good intro.
+[2809.560 --> 2810.600]  Give me a good intro.
+[2810.600 --> 2813.120]  And he goes, OK.
+[2813.120 --> 2817.840]  So by the way, was anybody in here partying in the 90s?
+[2817.840 --> 2818.240]  OK.
+[2818.240 --> 2820.320]  So for those of us party in the 90s,
+[2820.320 --> 2823.360]  we will tell you that if MTV was on your spring break,
+[2823.360 --> 2826.200]  it was the fucking place to bid.
+[2826.200 --> 2828.600]  Not only, by the way, MTV used to play music videos.
+[2834.840 --> 2837.640]  And not only was MTV at the spring break, guys,
+[2837.640 --> 2843.200]  the king of MTV spring break, Paulie fucking sure was there.
+[2843.200 --> 2846.040]  Now look, man, whatever you, Paulie's a great dude,
+[2846.040 --> 2846.880]  great comic.
+[2846.880 --> 2849.360]  And back when I was going on spring break,
+[2849.360 --> 2853.400]  if he was at your spring break, that was going to be a good fucking time.
+[2853.400 --> 2856.600]  And so, and they're teasing every bar you walk into,
+[2856.600 --> 2858.840]  teases, hey, Paulie's coming tonight.
+[2858.840 --> 2859.960]  Because there was no social media.
+[2859.960 --> 2861.720]  So you just stuck around.
+[2861.720 --> 2864.120]  And so they were telling the people in the club all night,
+[2864.120 --> 2864.960]  Paulie's coming.
+[2864.960 --> 2867.600]  And they would have one person walk to the crowd every hour
+[2867.600 --> 2868.960]  and go, hey, we're about to make the announcement.
+[2868.960 --> 2871.440]  So everybody's waiting for this announcement, right?
+[2871.440 --> 2874.520]  So I go to the guy, I go, hey, give me a good intro.
+[2874.520 --> 2876.840]  And he goes, OK.
+[2876.840 --> 2878.480]  And he turns off the music.
+[2878.480 --> 2883.360]  And he goes, spring break, how we doing?
+[2883.360 --> 2887.080]  And the whole place fucking, yeah.
+[2887.080 --> 2890.880]  And he goes, are you ready for the reason you came here tonight?
+[2894.800 --> 2898.400]  The place is like, whoa.
+[2898.400 --> 2902.920]  And he goes, are you ready for the thing you came here to see?
+[2902.920 --> 2905.800]  And people were fucking, yeah.
+[2906.800 --> 2908.800]  Are you ready for the thing?
+[2908.800 --> 2912.520]  You're going to tell your friends about tomorrow.
+[2912.520 --> 2915.240]  And they're going to be like, I should have come with you
+[2915.240 --> 2917.360]  last night.
+[2917.360 --> 2920.440]  The place starts chanting his name.
+[2920.440 --> 2924.920]  Paulie, Paulie, Paulie, they're going fucking crazy, right?
+[2924.920 --> 2926.280]  And he goes, that's right.
+[2926.280 --> 2928.640]  But first, my friend Josh invented a dance.
+[2931.520 --> 2933.480]  And he goes, he's going to show it to you right now
+[2933.480 --> 2935.400]  in the whole place.
+[2935.400 --> 2936.440]  Right?
+[2936.440 --> 2938.760]  And I'm walking up to the dance floor.
+[2938.760 --> 2941.320]  And he goes, and he said, if I play this song,
+[2941.320 --> 2943.840]  he's getting laid for sure.
+[2943.840 --> 2944.840]  And I was like, oh.
+[2953.480 --> 2954.800]  So I walk up to the dance floor.
+[2954.800 --> 2958.680]  Dance floor is about this size, OK?
+[2958.680 --> 2959.680]  And maybe a little bigger.
+[2959.680 --> 2962.640]  It's empty.
+[2962.640 --> 2964.360]  They're not letting anyone on the dance floor
+[2964.360 --> 2966.120]  except for the two of us.
+[2966.120 --> 2969.000]  They're calling it a dance contest.
+[2969.000 --> 2972.640]  And if you want to watch, you have to stand along the railing.
+[2972.640 --> 2976.920]  So everyone's just me and her in the middle.
+[2976.920 --> 2978.840]  And I walk up to her and I'm like, ah.
+[2989.240 --> 2990.200]  By the way, here was my plan.
+[2990.200 --> 2991.880]  You wonder what my plan was?
+[2991.880 --> 2992.720]  This is a good plan.
+[2992.720 --> 2994.520]  How old are you, young man?
+[2994.520 --> 2995.640]  Right there, how old are you?
+[2995.640 --> 2997.760]  Yeah, with the beard.
+[2997.760 --> 3000.360]  This dude right up in front of you is 20?
+[3000.360 --> 3001.400]  Oh, yeah.
+[3001.400 --> 3002.760]  You're 19.
+[3002.760 --> 3003.760]  Yeah, dude.
+[3003.760 --> 3006.360]  You have the 19-year-old, you know,
+[3006.360 --> 3008.440]  and you can only grow the hair under the chin.
+[3008.440 --> 3009.840]  Do you know what I mean?
+[3009.840 --> 3010.840]  It's very amish.
+[3010.840 --> 3012.600]  I appreciate you being here, Jebadiah.
+[3012.600 --> 3013.400]  Thanks for seeing me.
+[3013.400 --> 3014.360]  Thanks for stopping by.
+[3014.360 --> 3017.360]  APPLAUSE
+[3017.360 --> 3018.200]  But yeah, man.
+[3018.200 --> 3020.680]  So I was your age when this was going down.
+[3020.680 --> 3023.200]  And I'm going to tell you what's your name?
+[3023.200 --> 3024.400]  Caleb.
+[3024.400 --> 3025.880]  So here's what was happening.
+[3025.880 --> 3026.800]  And here was my plan.
+[3026.800 --> 3030.040]  And my plan was I was going to tell this girl the name of the dance.
+[3030.040 --> 3034.240]  Because if you invented dance, you got to name it.
+[3034.240 --> 3035.480]  It's going to tell the name of the dance.
+[3035.480 --> 3036.720]  She was going to dance with me.
+[3036.720 --> 3039.640]  And then we were going to have sex.
+[3039.640 --> 3041.040]  Yep.
+[3041.040 --> 3044.720]  He's like, yeah, I don't see any problem with that plan at all.
+[3044.720 --> 3045.800]  Yeah, AB fuck.
+[3045.800 --> 3046.800]  I had the same plan.
+[3046.800 --> 3048.280]  I would have gone with the same thing.
+[3050.880 --> 3051.880]  I am.
+[3061.560 --> 3063.200]  Are the finger-mangers back?
+[3063.200 --> 3064.440]  That was amazing.
+[3064.440 --> 3068.440]  APPLAUSE
+[3077.600 --> 3080.400]  So I'm going to name the dance.
+[3080.400 --> 3083.040]  So I walk up to her and I lean into her and I go.
+[3088.040 --> 3088.800]  I go.
+[3098.360 --> 3100.280]  Are you ready to see the giddy up?
+[3103.840 --> 3107.080]  She said, wait, is that the name of the dance?
+[3107.080 --> 3107.880]  And I said, yeah.
+[3107.880 --> 3108.640]  And she goes, hold on.
+[3108.640 --> 3111.120]  She tears her friends and she goes, hey,
+[3111.120 --> 3112.400]  it's going to be better than we thought.
+[3117.400 --> 3122.000]  And so by the way, do you guys want to hear this song?
+[3122.000 --> 3123.000]  Yeah.
+[3123.000 --> 3124.000]  Do you want to see the dance?
+[3128.000 --> 3130.360]  I'm going to do that right now.
+[3130.360 --> 3133.160]  Hold on, I'm going to suck it.
+[3133.160 --> 3134.560]  Listen, it's funny.
+[3134.560 --> 3136.000]  I see a couple dudes around my age.
+[3136.000 --> 3136.960]  I started to stretch the hammy.
+[3136.960 --> 3137.680]  They were like, good move.
+[3137.680 --> 3138.520]  That's as bad.
+[3138.520 --> 3140.040]  I would have done this thing.
+[3140.040 --> 3141.960]  Unprepared movement, that is not right.
+[3141.960 --> 3142.760]  No.
+[3142.760 --> 3144.200]  I'll tell you how old I am.
+[3144.200 --> 3146.720]  I'm at an age that if I step down a curb
+[3146.720 --> 3148.920]  and it's a quarter inch longer than I thought it was going
+[3148.920 --> 3150.960]  to be, I'm going to be laid up for about six months.
+[3150.960 --> 3154.600]  That's going to be the end of my fucking life.
+[3154.600 --> 3156.920]  Yeah, so you don't obtain so like, yeah.
+[3156.920 --> 3158.760]  I got to stretch out Caleb.
+[3158.760 --> 3160.200]  So what happens when you get a little older
+[3160.200 --> 3162.440]  is you pull muscles.
+[3162.440 --> 3164.840]  You are at an age where you still think that's
+[3164.840 --> 3166.200]  a euphemism for jerking off.
+[3166.200 --> 3167.840]  It is not.
+[3167.840 --> 3169.280]  You're like, I pulled the muscle today.
+[3169.280 --> 3170.120]  Oh.
+[3177.400 --> 3179.560]  Here's a deal.
+[3179.560 --> 3180.520]  OK.
+[3180.520 --> 3183.160]  Hey, OK.
+[3183.160 --> 3185.000]  So I walk up to her and I go, wait a second.
+[3189.080 --> 3193.560]  I walk up to her and I go, no.
+[3197.040 --> 3200.240]  I said, do you want to see the giddy up?
+[3200.240 --> 3203.200]  And she was like, yeah, and I go, DJ, get it.
+[3210.000 --> 3210.840]  Stop, stop, stop.
+[3210.840 --> 3214.240]  That's the whole dance.
+[3214.240 --> 3217.040]  But guys, I'd only practice 15 seconds at a time.
+[3217.040 --> 3220.080]  That's a fucking four-minute song.
+[3220.080 --> 3222.720]  So you know how hard it is to do that?
+[3222.720 --> 3223.520]  That's bad.
+[3223.520 --> 3225.920]  At a CrossFit class, you didn't fucking sign up for it,
+[3225.920 --> 3226.760]  guys.
+[3226.760 --> 3228.680]  I was wreathed two minutes in.
+[3228.680 --> 3230.320]  I was gassed.
+[3230.320 --> 3232.320]  There was sweat dripping off of my body.
+[3232.320 --> 3235.760]  But I remember her saying, if you stop, I'm done.
+[3235.760 --> 3238.440]  So at one point, I was for real.
+[3238.440 --> 3239.200]  So gassed.
+[3239.200 --> 3245.040]  I was doing it like, I won't put it look behind me.
+[3245.040 --> 3246.440]  And there were like 50 people like.
+[3249.720 --> 3251.040]  It was amazing.
+[3251.040 --> 3254.040]  But the end of the song, because I had no idea, four minutes.
+[3254.040 --> 3257.280]  And I'm just gas, right?
+[3257.280 --> 3262.120]  She didn't want to rub my back because it was soaking wet.
+[3262.120 --> 3262.800]  But I'm breathing.
+[3262.800 --> 3267.560]  I'm like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
+[3267.560 --> 3270.840]  Ha, ha.
+[3270.840 --> 3275.240]  And she goes, it was a great giddy up.
+[3275.240 --> 3276.040]  And I said, thanks a lot.
+[3276.040 --> 3279.800]  Yeah, that was pretty good.
+[3279.800 --> 3281.040]  She said, you ought to be proud of yourself.
+[3281.040 --> 3282.640]  There were like 400 people doing the giddy up.
+[3282.640 --> 3287.320]  Guys, everybody in that club was doing the giddy up.
+[3287.320 --> 3288.480]  For fucking right.
+[3288.480 --> 3290.640]  Woo!
+[3290.640 --> 3295.480]  Yo, in my ecstasy brain, I was like, I guess I'm the dance guy now.
+[3295.480 --> 3297.560]  Ha, ha, ha.
+[3297.560 --> 3299.840]  No need to go back to college for this guy.
+[3299.840 --> 3300.840]  Oh, oh, oh, oh.
+[3303.000 --> 3304.520]  Some gabs.
+[3304.520 --> 3306.760]  And she says, hey, do you want to grab a drink?
+[3306.760 --> 3309.360]  I go, do you want to grab one with my friends tonight?
+[3309.360 --> 3311.880]  And she was like, yeah, absolutely.
+[3311.880 --> 3312.880]  And she said, I'll meet you down there.
+[3312.880 --> 3314.120]  I said, cool.
+[3314.120 --> 3316.480]  I'm walking down to my friends.
+[3316.480 --> 3318.640]  And I have a very fuck your feelings relationship
+[3318.640 --> 3320.600]  with my buddies, like I said.
+[3320.600 --> 3321.840]  And if you're in one of these groups,
+[3321.840 --> 3324.480]  you know that people are hardest on each other
+[3324.480 --> 3328.440]  when you do something good.
+[3328.440 --> 3328.960]  Right?
+[3328.960 --> 3332.840]  If you crush something, they're going to lay into you even harder.
+[3332.840 --> 3335.960]  And how could I have crushed the giddy up more than that?
+[3335.960 --> 3338.040]  400 people doing it.
+[3338.040 --> 3339.520]  If you're in one of these friend groups,
+[3339.520 --> 3342.800]  what you know is you're almost looking forward to your turn.
+[3342.800 --> 3344.440]  Do you know what I mean?
+[3344.440 --> 3345.320]  You give it out.
+[3345.320 --> 3346.640]  It's just as fun to get it.
+[3346.640 --> 3349.680]  And I knew I was going to get it so savagely
+[3349.680 --> 3353.720]  because I had just crushed that.
+[3353.720 --> 3356.720]  Do you know how embarrassed they were for me?
+[3359.480 --> 3361.680]  Do you know how badly they fell for me?
+[3361.680 --> 3363.920]  One of my friends stood up and gave me a hug.
+[3367.040 --> 3369.040]  He rubbed my back and he said, I like how
+[3369.040 --> 3370.680]  you always put yourself out there.
+[3370.680 --> 3371.680]  I was like, what?
+[3377.160 --> 3379.360]  And then she comes down and she goes, hey,
+[3379.360 --> 3380.600]  and I go, hey, she goes, these are your friends?
+[3380.600 --> 3381.440]  I go, yeah.
+[3381.440 --> 3384.160]  She goes, hey, did you guys see the giddy up?
+[3384.160 --> 3387.160]  And my buddy goes, is that what you named that fucking dance?
+[3389.640 --> 3392.000]  I go, yeah, and he goes, she said,
+[3392.000 --> 3394.520]  are you coming home with me or what?
+[3394.520 --> 3396.040]  And I was like, yeah.
+[3397.040 --> 3400.680]  And my buddy looked at her and he goes, be honest.
+[3400.680 --> 3402.480]  This is a make-of-wish situation.
+[3402.480 --> 3403.320]  Or...
+[3403.320 --> 3406.320]  LAUGHTER
+[3409.720 --> 3412.480]  I will tell you, this was a monumental moment in my life,
+[3412.480 --> 3413.480]  everybody.
+[3413.480 --> 3414.960]  I'm going to tell you why, not just because I
+[3414.960 --> 3416.040]  had sex with a stranger.
+[3416.040 --> 3418.800]  Oh, ho, ho.
+[3418.800 --> 3420.440]  It's the first night that I realized
+[3420.440 --> 3422.200]  that being embarrassed is bullshit.
+[3422.200 --> 3424.600]  It's made up in your own head.
+[3424.600 --> 3427.680]  Being embarrassed is predicated on what you think
+[3427.680 --> 3430.480]  other people are thinking about you.
+[3430.480 --> 3435.480]  And then when you realize that one, nobody's thinking about you.
+[3435.480 --> 3437.600]  Nobody notices you.
+[3437.600 --> 3438.880]  And nobody gives a shit about you.
+[3438.880 --> 3440.720]  I'm including myself in this.
+[3440.720 --> 3442.080]  Nobody gives a fuck.
+[3442.080 --> 3445.480]  So why would you let any of those people dictate
+[3445.480 --> 3448.240]  one second of your life, right?
+[3448.240 --> 3454.080]  CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
+[3454.080 --> 3455.440]  Because you're in your own head.
+[3455.440 --> 3458.800]  And how I know that is, guys, I stated this woman's hotel room
+[3458.800 --> 3460.200]  long enough to sober up.
+[3460.200 --> 3463.400]  LAUGHTER
+[3463.400 --> 3465.200]  And so as I looked back on the night,
+[3465.200 --> 3470.120]  I realized, oh, it didn't go quite as well as I thought it did.
+[3470.120 --> 3472.080]  That wasn't 400 people dancing with me.
+[3472.080 --> 3474.720]  That was 400 people dancing at me, right?
+[3474.720 --> 3478.080]  They...it was a humiliating situation.
+[3478.080 --> 3481.360]  And as I thought about it, I'm like, did I name that?
+[3481.360 --> 3483.000]  The fucking kitty-up light.
+[3484.000 --> 3485.280]  LAUGHTER
+[3485.280 --> 3488.560]  And I started to get humiliated and ashamed and embarrassed.
+[3488.560 --> 3492.360]  And I turned to her because I needed to know I go tell me something.
+[3492.360 --> 3494.160]  What am I doing here?
+[3494.160 --> 3496.880]  Like, you saw that dance?
+[3496.880 --> 3499.240]  Why am I here?
+[3499.240 --> 3503.880]  And she was like, are you kidding me?
+[3503.880 --> 3508.240]  You humiliated yourself in front of 400 people.
+[3508.240 --> 3512.440]  All on the off chance that I might have sex with you.
+[3512.440 --> 3514.880]  I found that very sexy, very charming.
+[3514.880 --> 3516.440]  LAUGHTER
+[3516.440 --> 3518.440]  CHEERING
+[3520.440 --> 3525.880]  And then I was like, I might need to rethink how I walk about this world right now.
+[3525.880 --> 3527.600]  So I'm walking home.
+[3527.600 --> 3530.680]  And it's about five or six in the morning, something like that.
+[3530.680 --> 3533.160]  And I just had sex with a stranger.
+[3533.160 --> 3536.560]  Oh, ho, ho.
+[3536.560 --> 3542.080]  I was clearly on my way home to be a dance instructor of some kind, right?
+[3542.080 --> 3544.480]  And I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
+[3544.480 --> 3546.680]  I do like that life is unpredictable.
+[3546.680 --> 3551.200]  I do like that, right, when you think you have everything figured out,
+[3551.200 --> 3552.840]  life's like, is that your dick?
+[3552.840 --> 3555.960]  And you're like, this is life. I forgot, right?
+[3555.960 --> 3559.120]  And life definitely kicked me in the dick that day.
+[3559.120 --> 3561.960]  I'm walking to the beach when I used to take X to see it made me think
+[3561.960 --> 3563.880]  that I could drink more than I can.
+[3563.880 --> 3565.920]  I don't drink anymore, but when I used to drink,
+[3565.920 --> 3568.520]  the only thing I ever drank was straight to Kila.
+[3568.520 --> 3569.880]  I love the way it tastes.
+[3569.880 --> 3571.240]  I love the fucking high.
+[3571.240 --> 3573.160]  I love everything about it.
+[3573.160 --> 3577.360]  And so, but if you drink too much Kila and you throw up,
+[3577.360 --> 3581.000]  there's no casual to Kila throw up.
+[3581.000 --> 3583.440]  Nobody's ever kind of throwing up on to Kila.
+[3583.440 --> 3585.360]  It's never been like pardon me.
+[3585.360 --> 3586.920]  That's not how it comes out.
+[3586.920 --> 3590.000]  It's a violent happening.
+[3590.000 --> 3592.600]  It's your whole body.
+[3592.600 --> 3595.240]  Uh-huh.
+[3595.240 --> 3596.440]  You know how violent it is?
+[3596.440 --> 3600.280]  You remember where you were when it fucking happened.
+[3600.280 --> 3602.800]  You're like, Mark's backyard 2017.
+[3602.800 --> 3604.200]  I'm not drinking to Kila anymore.
+[3604.200 --> 3612.960]  So, I'm like, I'm gonna shit him off throw up.
+[3612.960 --> 3617.960]  I just, I dig a hole.
+[3617.960 --> 3619.360]  Because I don't want to ruin anyone's beach day.
+[3619.360 --> 3620.840]  And my plan is that I'm gonna dig a hole,
+[3620.840 --> 3621.680]  I'm gonna throw up in the hole,
+[3621.680 --> 3625.680]  and then I'm just gonna cover it like a cat.
+[3626.520 --> 3630.680]  So, I get to right here and I'm about to throw up.
+[3630.680 --> 3633.680]  And then life kick me right in the dick, man.
+[3633.680 --> 3635.680]  And I was like,
+[3635.680 --> 3640.680]  oh my shit, too.
+[3640.680 --> 3644.680]  So, I turned around and I just dug another hole.
+[3644.680 --> 3645.680]  It's what I did.
+[3645.680 --> 3646.680]  I just dug a second hole.
+[3646.680 --> 3649.680]  Some mornings or two whole mornings, everybody.
+[3649.680 --> 3650.680]  Don't judge me.
+[3650.680 --> 3652.680]  I'm not the only person's ever shit in my tub
+[3652.680 --> 3654.680]  and throwing up in my sink at the same time.
+[3654.680 --> 3661.680]  I fuck you, not just me.
+[3663.000 --> 3667.240]  So, now I'm butt-ass naked, hovering over these two holes.
+[3667.240 --> 3671.760]  I don't want to poop in my shorts, you know.
+[3671.760 --> 3675.120]  I'm hovering over these holes.
+[3675.120 --> 3677.080]  And my only solace really is that,
+[3677.080 --> 3679.680]  look, I'm by myself.
+[3679.680 --> 3682.680]  Nope.
+[3682.680 --> 3684.440]  I hear this couple coming and I'm like,
+[3684.440 --> 3686.200]  honestly, you know what I did, guys?
+[3686.200 --> 3687.200]  They were coming.
+[3687.200 --> 3689.440]  The jit just froze like a deer.
+[3699.440 --> 3702.160]  But I couldn't hold it in anymore, man.
+[3702.160 --> 3703.160]  And it both holes.
+[3703.160 --> 3703.680]  It's just like,
+[3703.680 --> 3704.520]  ah!
+[3706.760 --> 3709.880]  And from behind me, I just hear this woman go,
+[3709.880 --> 3712.880]  hey, isn't that the giddy up guy?
+[3712.880 --> 3713.880]  Thank you, man.
+[3713.880 --> 3715.880]  Thank you so much for coming out tonight.
+[3715.880 --> 3720.880]  Oh, how many years were you going to take in a bite?
+[3720.880 --> 3723.880]  I've never felt push.
+[3723.880 --> 3725.880]  I'm going to take this answer seriously.
+[3725.880 --> 3727.880]  Are they attacking all at once?
+[3727.880 --> 3728.880]  Yes.
+[3728.880 --> 3730.880]  From the ground or from the trees?
+[3730.880 --> 3734.880]  Why can't you do two more little attacks?
+[3734.880 --> 3737.880]  By the way, that was actually a great question.
+[3737.880 --> 3739.880]  And I'm like, can you send that out of it?
+[3739.880 --> 3742.880]  I'm like, can you send that from the ground or from the trees?
+[3742.880 --> 3744.880]  If you're tracking from above, I had,
+[3744.880 --> 3747.880]  there's a strong panic factor there, too.
+[3747.880 --> 3750.880]  Because as soon as the person drops, I'm going to do a lot of this.
+[3750.880 --> 3754.880]  But if I can see him coming, I can give my shit together.
+[3754.880 --> 3757.880]  I don't like my hours if they're dropping out of the trees.
+[3757.880 --> 3759.880]  I'm not going to lie.
+[3759.880 --> 3763.880]  It's not like a World War II fight.
+[3763.880 --> 3766.880]  Yeah, I mean, I...
+[3766.880 --> 3768.880]  I won't tell you, I'm not a great fighter.
+[3768.880 --> 3771.880]  So my instinct always...
+[3771.880 --> 3774.880]  Somebody told me, a friend of mine, he was a good fighter.
+[3774.880 --> 3776.880]  And he was like, you're having a fighter or a gun?
+[3776.880 --> 3778.880]  And I go, what am I supposed to do if I get in the fight?
+[3778.880 --> 3779.880]  He was not crazy.
+[3779.880 --> 3780.880]  That's...
+[3780.880 --> 3781.880]  I go, what do you mean?
+[3781.880 --> 3784.880]  He goes, shittin' your head and start smearing it up.
+[3784.880 --> 3788.880]  I just don't think that would work with squirrels.
+[3788.880 --> 3793.880]  I think this squirrel would be like, let's get up.
+[3793.880 --> 3796.880]  Dude, how great they would have been to see me in the front yard
+[3796.880 --> 3800.880]  with shit in my hands and my 20th world.
+[3800.880 --> 3803.880]  Well, you might as well just use the shit and throw it at them.
+[3803.880 --> 3806.880]  That's the only way I can get multiple at once.
+[3806.880 --> 3809.880]  Honestly, I'm going 10.
+[3809.880 --> 3811.880]  That's the answer I'm going.
+[3811.880 --> 3812.880]  Go away from the 10.
+[3812.880 --> 3814.880]  I'm going to take one by the tail.
+[3814.880 --> 3819.880]  And I'm going to beat his friends with him.
+[3821.880 --> 3822.880]  Yeah, I'm going to eat.
+[3822.880 --> 3823.880]  This is great.
+[3823.880 --> 3825.880]  The 10th world's over in the hotel.
+[3825.880 --> 3827.880]  I'm fucking ready.
+[3827.880 --> 3830.880]  Finally, what did I get in my jacket?
+[3830.880 --> 3833.880]  I'm going to be honest, it's my girlfriend's.
+[3833.880 --> 3835.880]  So, when she got it, I have zero idea.
+[3835.880 --> 3837.880]  But I think she's going to hit set me.
+[3837.880 --> 3838.880]  Which can be at her five-failing.
+[3838.880 --> 3840.880]  Yeah, that might hurt my feelings.
+[3840.880 --> 3842.880]  Might hurt my feelings if your mom was like,
+[3842.880 --> 3844.880]  where this Viagra jacket?
+[3844.880 --> 3846.880]  I actually worked for you.
+[3846.880 --> 3848.880]  You worked for me, fuck you.

transcript/comedy_dx-Qly91Rqg.txt

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+[0.000 --> 4.640]  Good to see you all.
+[4.640 --> 5.640]  Hello?
+[5.640 --> 7.480]  Man, see that?
+[7.480 --> 9.240]  We just communicated.
+[9.240 --> 13.120]  I don't know sign language and I doubt you do either but you know that this means hello.
+[13.120 --> 14.120]  I think that's interesting.
+[14.120 --> 17.520]  We can communicate so much with our hands and none of us speak sign language.
+[17.520 --> 19.360]  You know, this is hello.
+[19.360 --> 22.440]  Peace, hang loose, live long and prosper.
+[22.440 --> 23.920]  You rock.
+[23.920 --> 25.920]  She rocks.
+[25.920 --> 27.720]  She rocks too much.
+[27.720 --> 31.880]  But everything here means something.
+[31.880 --> 33.480]  Do you realize that?
+[33.480 --> 34.480]  We're number one.
+[34.480 --> 35.480]  He went that way.
+[35.480 --> 36.480]  Was he a big guy?
+[36.480 --> 39.280]  Not even that big of a guy.
+[39.280 --> 40.280]  You got this one in the middle?
+[40.280 --> 42.720]  That one will start some problems, right?
+[42.720 --> 45.560]  If you don't like my material, you'll see that later.
+[45.560 --> 47.440]  And then you got this one.
+[47.440 --> 51.720]  It's kind of this dead lifeless finger that can't get up all the way.
+[51.720 --> 52.720]  Wedding ring.
+[52.720 --> 57.080]  Just put a wedding ring on this dead lifeless finger that won't get up anymore.
+[57.080 --> 58.080]  I love the thumb though.
+[58.080 --> 59.080]  The thumb is the best.
+[59.080 --> 64.080]  Bill Clinton was a master of the thumb, not for the reason the ear thinkin' it.
+[64.080 --> 68.440]  But before Bill Clinton politicians would point when they talked and it was very abrasive.
+[68.440 --> 70.800]  You know, they'd be like, read my lips.
+[70.800 --> 72.280]  No new taxes.
+[72.280 --> 73.280]  It's too much.
+[73.280 --> 77.320]  Clinton figured you could give a speech, you know, use your thumb, it softens everything
+[77.320 --> 78.320]  up.
+[78.320 --> 85.160]  You know, you could say anything like, I want to put my peepee in your face.
+[85.160 --> 90.160]  I love the thumb.
+[90.160 --> 91.440]  Because it says so much.
+[91.440 --> 94.040]  You know, all the obvious ones, like I like it, I don't like it.
+[94.040 --> 95.320]  I need a ride.
+[95.320 --> 97.440]  Some consciously, the thumb is amazing.
+[97.440 --> 99.720]  Because you can tell people what you're about with your thumb.
+[99.720 --> 101.400]  Like, I'm a regular guy, right?
+[101.400 --> 105.160]  So when I walk, my thumb is straight ahead.
+[105.160 --> 107.320]  Regular dude, my thumb is straight out, right?
+[107.320 --> 109.480]  But you start turnin' that thumb inward.
+[109.480 --> 112.000]  You go for being a regular dude to be in a bad mammoth jam.
+[112.000 --> 113.000]  Look at that dude.
+[113.000 --> 114.000]  Oh.
+[114.000 --> 118.400]  That's a tough sum of beer right there.
+[118.400 --> 122.720]  Then you turn that thumb the other way around you from being a bad man's eye.
+[122.720 --> 123.720]  Hello.
+[123.720 --> 126.480]  Oh, mom.

transcript/comedy_e3B1QsnT9iA.txt

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+[0.000 --> 10.000]  ВЕСЕЛАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[30.000 --> 40.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[60.000 --> 70.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[90.000 --> 100.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[100.000 --> 110.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[110.000 --> 120.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[120.000 --> 128.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[128.000 --> 138.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[138.000 --> 148.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[148.000 --> 160.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[160.000 --> 168.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[168.000 --> 178.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[178.000 --> 188.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[188.000 --> 198.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[198.000 --> 208.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[208.000 --> 218.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[218.000 --> 228.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[228.000 --> 238.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[238.000 --> 248.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[248.000 --> 258.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[258.000 --> 268.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[268.000 --> 278.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[278.000 --> 288.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[288.000 --> 298.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[298.000 --> 318.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[318.000 --> 328.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[328.000 --> 338.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА
+[338.000 --> 348.000]  ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА

transcript/comedy_h-aqTtywDDI.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
+[0.280 --> 2.000]  Muhammed
+[5.060 --> 7.060]  He is dead
+[9.920 --> 11.920]  He'll die
+[15.300 --> 17.300]  Aww

transcript/comedy_jYqtmLMcLms.txt

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+[0.000 --> 2.760]  Joining me now is a body language expert.
+[2.760 --> 8.240]  This is Blanca Cobb and Cory, who says her best friend,
+[8.240 --> 13.000]  Jessie's body language is literally scaring me in a way.
+[13.000 --> 15.640]  So welcome ladies, welcome to the show, all of you.
+[15.640 --> 16.640]  Thank you.
+[16.640 --> 19.440]  So before we get into the story of Blanca,
+[19.440 --> 22.240]  tell us why body language plays such a huge part
+[22.240 --> 23.760]  in how we communicate.
+[23.760 --> 26.960]  Body languages are like this internal code
+[26.960 --> 29.040]  and to have somebody's feeling in the moment.
+[29.080 --> 31.560]  So it's not only what you say is what you just said, Steve,
+[31.560 --> 33.560]  but it's also how you express it.
+[33.560 --> 36.000]  And a lot of times you try to hide how you're feeling,
+[36.000 --> 37.880]  but your body's gonna give you a way.
+[37.880 --> 41.720]  It's like this road map into how you tick and how you feel.
+[41.720 --> 44.120]  Okay, Cory, now you say to Jessie,
+[45.360 --> 49.520]  her body language is scaring me in a way, how?
+[49.520 --> 53.120]  So initially she's pretty open, she seems inviting,
+[53.120 --> 56.440]  but once you start talking to her, it's like she goes lift.
+[56.440 --> 58.960]  I should cut her eyes and she like no other,
+[58.960 --> 62.040]  she'll roll her eyes, she might fo her arms.
+[62.040 --> 63.520]  And if she really is not interested,
+[63.520 --> 66.400]  like let's say she's a guy, she will turn towards her friends
+[66.400 --> 69.280]  cross her leg and do like this little uppity hand race.
+[69.280 --> 70.880]  Like why is he talking to me?
+[70.880 --> 73.120]  And nobody wants to talk to somebody like that.
+[73.120 --> 73.960]  Wow.
+[73.960 --> 75.480]  That is interesting.
+[77.480 --> 78.520]  Now this is interesting.
+[78.520 --> 81.520]  So Jessie, what do you think it is that you're going wrong
+[81.520 --> 83.040]  when it comes to your body language?
+[83.040 --> 84.040]  Okay, Cory's right.
+[84.040 --> 86.400]  Okay, I will, I will look at you.
+[86.720 --> 88.960]  I will fo my arms, I might even lean away,
+[88.960 --> 90.720]  give you a little attitude.
+[90.720 --> 92.320]  Cause I'm trying to figure out if you approach me
+[92.320 --> 94.680]  the wrong way, for example, you come up me with a,
+[94.680 --> 95.680]  hey, shout it.
+[95.680 --> 97.000]  Who are you talking to?
+[97.000 --> 99.160]  I don't know why you're talking to me.
+[99.160 --> 100.680]  You can go on about your business,
+[100.680 --> 104.040]  but it's all like what I'm giving at that moment.
+[104.040 --> 106.560]  So if you approach me with an excuse me miss,
+[106.560 --> 108.600]  cause my daddy raised me right, you know?
+[108.600 --> 110.800]  I know how I'm supposed to be approached in
+[110.800 --> 113.280]  because of him I have these very high standards.
+[113.280 --> 116.040]  So it's all, I'm just giving you back what I receive.
+[116.400 --> 119.560]  You give me something that I don't like, yes.
+[119.560 --> 121.120]  I'm trying to figure out who you talking to.
+[121.120 --> 122.800]  And that's why she's single now.
+[122.800 --> 124.880]  Yeah, but see, you just gave it to me.
+[124.880 --> 125.880]  I ain't giving up.
+[125.880 --> 126.720]  You know, you.
+[126.720 --> 127.560]  I'm not.
+[127.560 --> 128.400]  I'm not.
+[130.280 --> 134.040]  Now, okay, Blanco, based on what you've heard,
+[134.040 --> 136.160]  what do you think Jessie's doing wrong?
+[136.160 --> 137.840]  She has these high expectations.
+[137.840 --> 141.520]  So it's her mindset that if a man is not going to approach
+[141.520 --> 143.280]  her respectfully by her definition,
+[143.280 --> 144.560]  then she's going to shut him off.
+[144.560 --> 146.440]  She's going to turn him off.
+[146.440 --> 148.520]  And that can be a very big mistake
+[148.520 --> 151.120]  because he's trying to figure her out.
+[151.120 --> 152.880]  He's trying to figure out a way to approach her.
+[152.880 --> 154.960]  So if her mindset is negative,
+[154.960 --> 156.960]  her body language is naturally going to flow
+[156.960 --> 158.120]  and it's going to be negative.
+[158.120 --> 160.160]  So it makes it hard for someone to come up.
+[160.160 --> 162.920]  If she were to say, have a different mindset and say,
+[162.920 --> 164.760]  all right, let me give him the benefit of the doubt
+[164.760 --> 167.280]  and smile and make it more inviting,
+[167.280 --> 170.960]  she might be surprised at what might follow.
+[170.960 --> 174.200]  Yeah, I mean, I like that.
+[174.840 --> 175.840]  I like that a lot.
+[177.840 --> 182.160]  Ladies, also, let me say this to you and all the ladies listen.
+[182.160 --> 184.800]  Do you understand what it takes for a guy
+[184.800 --> 187.920]  to come up to you in the first place?
+[187.920 --> 189.840]  We all have to grapple with the fact
+[189.840 --> 192.880]  that we could be facing rejection.
+[192.880 --> 195.720]  I think your friend is right from bringing you here, cousin.
+[195.720 --> 196.720]  She mean.
+[199.880 --> 201.600]  I'm nice.
+[201.600 --> 202.840]  You're nice to who?
+[202.840 --> 205.280]  I'm a real bubbly person.
+[205.280 --> 206.600]  Once you get past.
+[206.600 --> 208.200]  I'm so serious.
+[208.200 --> 209.600]  You a real bubbly person?
+[209.600 --> 210.880]  I am so serious, Steve.
+[210.880 --> 214.160]  You see a bubbly person, we, and once you get past what?
+[214.160 --> 218.320]  If you can get past the, if you can get past the,
+[218.320 --> 219.440]  it's some bubbles back there.
+[219.440 --> 220.520]  It's a whole bunch of bubbles.
+[220.520 --> 222.720]  It's a bubble field.
+[222.720 --> 223.560]  I promise.
+[223.560 --> 224.960]  That's why you buy yourself.
+[224.960 --> 226.920]  LAUGHTER
+[233.280 --> 235.880]  Because we can't get to the bubble field.
+[235.880 --> 238.120]  See, inviting the guy into the bubble field
+[238.120 --> 241.080]  don't mean that you're going to let him bust the bubbles.
+[241.080 --> 242.640]  But he got at least be able to know
+[242.640 --> 245.880]  it's some damn bubbles back there.
+[245.880 --> 248.360]  You know, that's all it is, man.
+[248.360 --> 250.080]  Well, this is what we're going to do.
+[250.080 --> 252.280]  We're going to put this to the test.
+[252.280 --> 255.400]  Now, over there, we got a bar set up.
+[255.400 --> 256.480]  All right, so let's go.
+[256.480 --> 259.480]  APPLAUSE
+[259.480 --> 260.960]  All right, Zach, come on out.
+[260.960 --> 263.920]  CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
+[263.920 --> 264.920]  Hi, guys.
+[264.920 --> 267.560]  So I want you to approach Jessie for the first time.
+[267.560 --> 269.040]  They haven't rehearsed this.
+[269.040 --> 270.280]  So we'll just see how it goes.
+[270.280 --> 273.320]  And, Jen, Jessie, just however you would normally respond.
+[273.320 --> 275.960]  Don't try to fix it. Just be how you would normally be.
+[275.960 --> 276.480]  OK.
+[276.480 --> 278.640]  And then, lock and I will be observing
+[278.640 --> 280.640]  and she'll be making comments.
+[280.640 --> 281.920]  All right, let's go.
+[281.920 --> 282.920]  How you doing?
+[282.920 --> 283.520]  I'm fine.
+[283.520 --> 284.520]  Jessie.
+[284.520 --> 286.960]  So before she even started, you have your hands
+[286.960 --> 288.800]  in the seal position.
+[288.800 --> 289.760]  That's not inviting.
+[289.760 --> 290.840]  That's almost like a body lock.
+[290.840 --> 292.200]  Oh, that's called a seal position.
+[292.200 --> 293.200]  That's what I'm calling it.
+[293.200 --> 294.880]  So this is like a protective mechanism
+[294.880 --> 296.600]  where you're covering your midsection.
+[296.600 --> 299.920]  Once you start this way, that's already sending a signal.
+[299.920 --> 301.480]  Like, I'm not sure she's approachable
+[301.480 --> 303.240]  or she wants me to approach.
+[303.240 --> 304.240]  Mm.
+[304.240 --> 305.240]  All right, let's go.
+[305.240 --> 306.480]  So where you from, Jessie?
+[306.480 --> 308.280]  I'm originally from Memphis, Tennessee,
+[308.280 --> 310.200]  but I just relocated to the LA.
+[310.200 --> 311.640]  OK, we'll watch out here.
+[311.640 --> 312.840]  I'm acting.
+[312.840 --> 314.240]  I'm aspiring to be an actress.
+[314.240 --> 314.760]  Cool.
+[314.760 --> 316.000]  All right, let me stop right here.
+[316.000 --> 317.760]  When you have your hands clasped,
+[317.760 --> 319.520]  this is a sign of unsureity.
+[319.520 --> 320.480]  You're unsure.
+[320.480 --> 322.200]  You're not feeling very secure.
+[322.200 --> 324.280]  When you're confident, look how Steve is right now.
+[324.280 --> 325.880]  He's got open body language.
+[325.880 --> 326.880]  Both hands to the side.
+[326.880 --> 327.880]  You see what I'm saying.
+[327.880 --> 328.880]  Yeah.
+[328.880 --> 329.880]  Yeah.
+[329.880 --> 331.880]  Yeah.
+[331.880 --> 332.880]  Good.
+[332.880 --> 333.880]  Good.
+[333.880 --> 335.840]  You're taking in the message, which is great,
+[335.840 --> 339.960]  but your body is saying, I'm not sure how I'm feeling.
+[339.960 --> 342.240]  I'm not sure about what he's saying.
+[342.240 --> 342.740]  OK.
+[342.740 --> 343.880]  All right, let's go.
+[343.880 --> 345.760]  So how's LA been treating you so far?
+[345.760 --> 346.260]  Great.
+[346.260 --> 347.520]  It's been treating me very great.
+[347.520 --> 349.040]  I had a lot of additions short.
+[349.040 --> 350.080]  Let me stop right here.
+[350.080 --> 351.600]  This is a good conversation.
+[351.600 --> 352.640]  There's some camaraderie here.
+[352.640 --> 353.560]  It's going back and forth.
+[353.560 --> 354.400]  She's interested.
+[354.400 --> 355.480]  He's engaging.
+[355.480 --> 356.880]  However, this is a time where you want
+[356.880 --> 359.440]  to move in a little closer.
+[359.440 --> 362.880]  Not all up impersonal, but you want to come with distance.
+[362.880 --> 363.380]  Not at all.
+[363.380 --> 365.560]  When you close that distance, you're sending
+[365.560 --> 367.760]  a nonverbal message.
+[367.760 --> 368.560]  I'm liking this.
+[368.560 --> 370.080]  I'm liking the conversation.
+[370.080 --> 371.840]  I think I'm digging you a little bit.
+[371.840 --> 372.360]  There we go.
+[372.360 --> 372.640]  OK.
+[372.640 --> 373.800]  Now, pick up from here.
+[373.800 --> 374.880]  Go ahead.
+[374.880 --> 375.880]  So LA is doing great.
+[375.880 --> 376.480]  You like it.
+[376.480 --> 377.000]  Yeah.
+[377.000 --> 377.840]  It's nice.
+[377.840 --> 379.840]  Is LA treating you right to even living LA?
+[379.840 --> 380.600]  Yeah, I love this.
+[380.600 --> 381.120]  I love it.
+[381.120 --> 382.200]  I'm from Northern California.
+[382.200 --> 383.840]  I'm a California boy, but LA is right.
+[383.840 --> 383.920]  OK.
+[383.920 --> 384.840]  That's nice.
+[384.840 --> 389.000]  I like this dude, because he had full of cold pressure.
+[389.000 --> 390.760]  He full cold.
+[390.760 --> 392.480]  He took his eyes off her one time.
+[392.480 --> 395.320]  He's here to number what she told me off.
+[395.320 --> 395.920]  He locked.
+[395.920 --> 399.600]  He didn't even act in no mode.
+[399.600 --> 401.360]  This is seriously.
+[401.360 --> 402.840]  Go ahead.
+[402.840 --> 403.840]  All right.
+[403.840 --> 406.520]  So I think this is a great time to transition over to the table.
+[406.520 --> 408.360]  But before you do, now, this is where
+[408.360 --> 410.360]  you can make a really good impression.
+[410.360 --> 410.880]  OK.
+[410.880 --> 411.160]  All right.
+[411.160 --> 413.160]  This is what I'm going to walk over here.
+[413.160 --> 414.800]  And when you walk to the table, though,
+[414.800 --> 418.040]  and how you sit down, pay attention to what your legs are doing.
+[418.040 --> 419.800]  So let's sit down, and I'm going to help you.
+[419.800 --> 420.320]  OK.
+[420.320 --> 420.840]  Can I help you?
+[420.840 --> 421.840]  Absolutely.
+[421.840 --> 423.080]  Shibbering.
+[423.080 --> 424.400]  Absolutely.
+[424.400 --> 425.400]  Absolutely.
+[425.400 --> 425.920]  Can you see me?
+[425.920 --> 426.960]  Yeah, thank you.
+[426.960 --> 427.960]  Thank you.
+[427.960 --> 428.960]  Ha, ha, ha.
+[437.520 --> 438.920]  Yeah.
+[438.920 --> 440.080]  That one I'm don't know.
+[440.080 --> 441.400]  So watch your legs.
+[441.400 --> 443.000]  So this is where you're putting a barrier
+[443.000 --> 445.240]  because your leg is crossed away from him.
+[445.240 --> 447.200]  So even though he can't see it, he can still
+[447.200 --> 449.520]  judge by the position of your torso, your body.
+[449.520 --> 452.440]  So what I would suggest is that you flip your legs over.
+[452.440 --> 453.760]  Yeah.
+[453.760 --> 455.360]  And that way, it's more welcoming.
+[455.360 --> 456.480]  It's more inviting.
+[456.480 --> 456.800]  OK.
+[456.800 --> 459.840]  And with your hand, put them relaxed on the table.
+[459.840 --> 461.200]  Just relaxed.
+[461.200 --> 461.720]  Yeah.
+[461.720 --> 463.840]  And then use your hands to communicate and talk.
+[463.840 --> 465.360]  And highlight what you're saying.
+[465.360 --> 465.880]  OK.
+[465.880 --> 469.200]  It's almost like you're telling a nonverbal story with your hands.
+[469.200 --> 472.440]  And actually, you can lean in just a little bit as you're talking.
+[472.440 --> 476.960]  You can tilt your head as you're listening and nod and give a smile.
+[476.960 --> 478.760]  Maybe a wink from time to time.
+[478.760 --> 481.400]  And that's why you're working.
+[481.400 --> 485.800]  Of letting them know that you're interested and interesting.
+[485.800 --> 486.440]  Do you like to go out?
+[486.440 --> 486.960]  Do you drink?
+[486.960 --> 487.680]  Yes, I do.
+[487.680 --> 489.200]  OK, which favorite drink?
+[489.200 --> 490.560]  I like wine.
+[490.560 --> 491.080]  Wine?
+[491.080 --> 491.560]  OK.
+[491.560 --> 492.320]  What kind of wine?
+[492.320 --> 493.320]  Red wines.
+[496.400 --> 497.080]  I'll be drinking.
+[497.080 --> 498.080]  Oh, he gave me that look.
+[498.080 --> 499.600]  I was drinking vodka tonight.
+[499.600 --> 500.600]  Oh.
+[500.600 --> 502.600]  Oh.
+[502.600 --> 504.120]  Put your hands back the way they were.
+[504.120 --> 504.840]  This is perfect.
+[504.840 --> 507.800]  When you get a sense of your date is into you,
+[507.800 --> 509.680]  it's when they start mimicking your body language.
+[509.680 --> 511.680]  So I just asked him here on the down load
+[511.680 --> 512.880]  to put his hands up on the table.
+[512.880 --> 514.600]  And he did exactly what you did.
+[514.600 --> 516.360]  So when you see that synchronization,
+[516.360 --> 519.520]  you see that mirroring or that perning of the body language?
+[519.520 --> 520.920]  That's saying that he's got you.
+[520.920 --> 522.040]  He's into you.
+[522.040 --> 523.760]  All right.
+[523.760 --> 524.520]  Give him that look.
+[524.520 --> 525.520]  Not me.
+[526.520 --> 528.280]  Uh, what else?
+[528.280 --> 529.360]  There's a lot to do now.
+[529.360 --> 530.400]  I'm going to show you.
+[530.400 --> 531.280]  I have.
+[531.280 --> 531.880]  I have.
+[531.880 --> 533.800]  I've been some exploring most of the time.
+[533.800 --> 534.560]  I'm working.
+[534.560 --> 535.840]  Reach out and touch him.
+[535.840 --> 536.520]  For every night.
+[536.520 --> 537.520]  Yeah.
+[537.520 --> 538.960]  Touches the floor.
+[538.960 --> 539.800]  But it can't be.
+[539.800 --> 542.280]  You can't just get your hands over the surface.
+[542.280 --> 543.160]  It's got to be.
+[543.160 --> 544.320]  It was so mean to touch.
+[544.320 --> 545.160]  It's got to be.
+[545.160 --> 546.440]  You got to be stuck with it.
+[546.440 --> 547.200]  Yes, you do.
+[547.200 --> 548.040]  You got to be stuck.
+[548.040 --> 549.800]  Just get your hands over there.
+[549.800 --> 551.400]  Why don't you just dip it in the water?
+[556.520 --> 557.520]  Oh, my God.
+[560.520 --> 561.040]  That's it.
+[561.040 --> 562.040]  I put it on there.
+[562.040 --> 564.000]  Just take a flower or something.
+[564.000 --> 564.880]  Get it off.
+[564.880 --> 566.200]  Just a little something.
+[566.200 --> 567.440]  That was the accident.
+[567.440 --> 568.600]  I just do it right now.
+[568.600 --> 569.800]  Just with the flower.
+[569.800 --> 571.280]  Get it off with the flower.
+[571.280 --> 572.520]  You ain't got it.
+[572.520 --> 573.520]  You ain't got it.
+[573.520 --> 574.520]  I'm going.
+[574.520 --> 575.760]  I'm going over.
+[575.760 --> 577.280]  Rub it on with the flowers.
+[577.280 --> 578.360]  Oh, my God.
+[578.360 --> 581.800]  You ain't got no game.
+[581.800 --> 582.600]  All right.
+[582.600 --> 583.520]  One last time.
+[586.520 --> 587.520]  I love you.
+[587.520 --> 588.520]  I love you.
+[588.520 --> 589.520]  Look at that.
+[589.520 --> 590.520]  Yeah.
+[590.520 --> 592.520]  You're not bad.
+[592.520 --> 594.520]  You're a girl, friend.
+[594.520 --> 596.520]  Just praying for you.
+[596.520 --> 598.520]  Yeah.
+[598.520 --> 599.520]  That's good.
+[599.520 --> 600.520]  You're gorgeous.
+[600.520 --> 601.520]  You look very beautiful.
+[601.520 --> 602.520]  Thank you.
+[602.520 --> 603.520]  Thank you.
+[603.520 --> 604.520]  Look handsome as well.
+[604.520 --> 605.520]  Thank you.
+[605.520 --> 606.520]  I'd love to maybe hang out again.
+[606.520 --> 607.520]  Yes.
+[607.520 --> 608.520]  I would like that.
+[608.520 --> 609.520]  Cool.
+[609.520 --> 610.520]  Yes.
+[610.520 --> 611.520]  I'll give you my number.
+[611.520 --> 612.520]  How about that?
+[612.520 --> 613.520]  Yeah.
+[613.520 --> 619.520]  She's giving me the look, see?
+[619.520 --> 620.520]  Is that look?
+[620.520 --> 623.520]  He is the hunter.
+[623.520 --> 624.520]  That even hurt.
+[624.520 --> 625.520]  Okay.
+[625.520 --> 628.520]  I mean, we can leave right now if you want to come with me.
+[628.520 --> 629.520]  Okay.
+[629.520 --> 630.520]  Thank you.
+[630.520 --> 631.520]  Thank you.
+[631.520 --> 632.520]  That was cute, though.
+[632.520 --> 633.520]  Yeah.
+[633.520 --> 634.520]  See, that's good.
+[634.520 --> 635.520]  See, that's good.
+[635.520 --> 637.520]  See, and I told him to do that.
+[637.520 --> 642.520]  I'd say, be real nice compliment and then ask out, but then be aggressive.
+[642.520 --> 643.520]  Just to see how you handle.
+[643.520 --> 645.520]  See, that was cute what you did.
+[645.520 --> 648.520]  Sum it up how she's done.
+[648.520 --> 651.520]  I think overall she's done much better.
+[651.520 --> 654.520]  I think she's a little more entuned into her body language.
+[654.520 --> 659.520]  And I think with time and comfort, and particularly when the gentleman puts her more at ease,
+[659.520 --> 662.520]  and she's just going to blossom open up like a flower.
+[662.520 --> 664.520]  And that's what you want to do.
+[664.520 --> 665.520]  Yeah.
+[665.520 --> 666.520]  But you just have to remember to relax.
+[666.520 --> 667.520]  Let me ask you this question.
+[667.520 --> 669.520]  Have you learned anything from Blocko?
+[669.520 --> 670.520]  Yes.
+[670.520 --> 671.520]  I've learned a lot.
+[671.520 --> 673.520]  I've learned a lot about the softness of my hands.
+[673.520 --> 674.520]  Mm-hmm.
+[674.520 --> 677.520]  How to not roll the neck, but maybe just use a flower.
+[677.520 --> 678.520]  See how?
+[678.520 --> 679.520]  There you go.
+[679.520 --> 680.520]  Get the water off Steve.
+[680.520 --> 681.520]  Got that one for you.
+[681.520 --> 683.520]  We got to do this again.
+[683.520 --> 685.520]  Your expertise was on point.
+[685.520 --> 686.520]  I really enjoyed that.
+[686.520 --> 687.520]  Thank you very much.
+[687.520 --> 688.520]  Thank you.
+[688.520 --> 689.520]  Jessie, wish you the best of luck.
+[689.520 --> 690.520]  Thank you.
+[690.520 --> 692.520]  We'll be right back everybody.
+[692.520 --> 695.520]  Hey, you made it to the end of this video.
+[695.520 --> 697.520]  I got a lot more that you're going to enjoy.
+[697.520 --> 699.520]  So just click to watch the next one.
+[699.520 --> 703.520]  And make sure you subscribe to always know what's happening.

transcript/comedy_mHUxetsmSMc.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.480]  Did you guys know sign language was different in Spanish?
+[4.480 --> 6.740]  La tración.
+[6.740 --> 9.440]  This means no attraction.
+[9.440 --> 10.280]  Ebre, ok.
+[10.280 --> 12.080]  Atracción.
+[12.080 --> 13.080]  Sí, sí.
+[13.080 --> 18.080]  Para ella, atracción.
+[18.080 --> 22.220]  Emparato, atracción.
+[22.220 --> 26.880]  No tiene que hablar español para ver este.
+[26.880 --> 29.960]  Did non Spanish speakers understand that?
+[30.520 --> 34.520]  He said the attraction for him.
+[34.520 --> 39.440]  And then he pointed to her and got la tráxión.
+[39.440 --> 43.000]  The money.
+[43.000 --> 48.160]  Oh, what did you think this was?
+[48.160 --> 49.000]  The boogers?
+[49.000 --> 51.000]  Like, what?
+[51.000 --> 51.680]  I'm curious.
+[51.680 --> 54.720]  What did you think this was?
+[54.720 --> 56.880]  What did you think this was?
+[56.880 --> 58.320]  The boobs.
+[58.360 --> 58.840]  OK.
+[58.840 --> 61.200]  But then what did you think this was?
+[61.200 --> 66.560]  The same thing.
+[66.560 --> 70.800]  Did you think it was the nipple?
+[70.800 --> 73.160]  Did you guys know sign language was different in Spanish?

transcript/comedy_nZrnk95vf8I.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.100]  I don't know how I'm telling you.
+[2.100 --> 3.900]  I can do it.
+[3.900 --> 6.420]  Yeah, you can do it.
+[6.420 --> 9.580]  Hey, listen, guys, you feel really terrible?
+[9.580 --> 12.940]  You're doing that weird icon tactics.
+[12.940 --> 15.320]  Don't look at him.
+[15.320 --> 16.920]  Don't look at him.
+[16.920 --> 18.060]  Come on, you guys.
+[18.060 --> 19.760]  You want to do it?
+[19.760 --> 20.760]  No.
+[20.760 --> 22.520]  You're doing that weird icon tactics.
+[22.520 --> 24.080]  Don't look at him.
+[24.080 --> 25.660]  Don't look at him.
+[25.660 --> 27.060]  Come on, you guys.
+[27.060 --> 28.060]  You want to do it?
+[28.060 --> 29.560]  Yeah, you can do it.
+[29.560 --> 33.560]  Guys, we want you to know we're very, very sorry.

transcript/comedy_nhe0KSGoUgc.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.040]  Hello.
+[2.040 --> 4.440]  How much are they asking?
+[4.440 --> 7.840]  Well, that's a lot of money for a deck.
+[7.840 --> 11.600]  Well, I hate to tell you this, but you're getting robbed.
+[11.600 --> 12.880]  Did you hear me?
+[12.880 --> 15.340]  You're getting robbed.
+[15.340 --> 16.400]  Ow!
+[16.400 --> 18.280]  Stop!
+[18.280 --> 19.520]  Whoa!
+[19.520 --> 20.460]  Ah!
+[20.460 --> 21.580]  Ah!
+[21.580 --> 23.080]  Stop!
+[23.080 --> 23.960]  Stop!
+[23.960 --> 24.960]  Stop!
+[24.960 --> 26.160]  Stop!
+[26.160 --> 29.760]  A Merry Quest, an open-minded equal opportunity hunter.

transcript/comedy_nyPJYBBR948.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,204 @@
+[0.000 --> 28.380]  Сегодня Madison.
+[28.380 --> 32.660]  Д 클�loeстрю tussen Собони и Твойations...
+[34.700 --> 35.680]  Дишь у люди!
+[37.340 --> 38.240]  Дин ani о maturepe
+[41.520 --> 43.180]  Они прият Impossible
+[47.960 --> 56.360]  Вulsion 여기에 любви
+[58.380 --> 60.380]  Мы получим работы в стаг�� Channel.
+[60.380 --> 64.380]  Но Syl guru уже сказал спле Ireц freaking.
+[64.380 --> 66.380]  Я не знаю, что это Breech & banana св experiments.
+[67.380 --> 69.380]  И это еще Ф deactiv regulation.
+[69.380 --> 71.380]  И exhibiting м 어제 к dzieемон兮, puntos в чем하는.
+[71.380 --> 83.580]  Иります wollte boost
+[83.580 --> 86.380]  иampage опустится на eligible 0.
+[86.380 --> 88.380] jan
+[90.840 --> 92.740] дикация
+[95.500 --> 96.520]  не mam
+[97.500 --> 98.500]  не matter
+[99.340 --> 100.800]  не importa
+[101.300 --> 102.800]  наulous
+[103.440 --> 110.660]  я не понимаю, мне нет
+[110.660 --> 111.680]  Smells
+[112.940 --> 114.860]  я хоть неận
+[114.860 --> 124.140]  Если вам дома позвал� спутайlaughing
+[124.140 --> 130.180]  на boarding school
+[130.180 --> 132.480]  да такой войну
+[132.480 --> 135.220] ort
+[135.220 --> 137.320]  она нише
+[137.320 --> 139.820]  что ты увидишь это, мы неimiz variance
+[139.820 --> 143.020]  что вы??
+[143.820 --> 146.580] ��х у которые мой làm это к Лафуу,
+[147.260 --> 149.460]  когда в Гровь,
+[150.500 --> 151.260]  машина или ты.
+[151.320 --> 154.120]  У меняoitятся уедBACKа вот وه 용 сделал?
+[157.340 --> 158.300]  очень어요.
+[158.300 --> 160.300]  Я не знаю, что это было, что это было.
+[160.300 --> 162.300]  Я просто не знаю, что это было.
+[162.300 --> 164.300]  Я просто не знаю, что это было.
+[164.300 --> 166.300]  Ты знаешь, что это было?
+[166.300 --> 168.300]  Ты знаешь, что это было?
+[168.300 --> 171.300]  Это мобильный, мобильный, мобильный, мобильный.
+[171.300 --> 172.300]  Я сказал, как это было?
+[172.300 --> 174.300]  Ты знаешь, что это мобильный, мобильный.
+[174.300 --> 176.300]  Когда я с тобой в контракт, ты не знаешь, что это было?
+[176.300 --> 178.300]  Блин!
+[178.300 --> 182.300]  На мой вон, я сказал, что это было.
+[182.300 --> 184.300]  Ты знаешь, как это было?
+[184.300 --> 186.300] »,»»»»»»»».
+[186.300 --> 188.300]  И когда ты запулешь мобильнаяся scroll, ты dann inside.
+[188.300 --> 192.300]  и когда ты зап Esper poly ale с whom ты так запулаешь?
+[192.300 --> 194.300]  А как ты запалаgesya?
+[194.300 --> 197.300]  А как ты заплашь мобильэй?
+[197.300 --> 200.300]  или ты чувстваешь будетит Theatre?
+[200.300 --> 204.300]  Если тыgementpirтер и лучшийcito что ты persuadedило?
+[204.300 --> 206.300]  Это возможно.
+[206.300 --> 208.300]  К셨ные GRAD в каждой aktivах?
+[208.300 --> 212.300]  Ты так впечат importing?
+[212.300 --> 213.300]  Ты так вел들을 ееaring?
+[214.280 --> 218.080]  В disturbing turned off
+[225.560 --> 226.560] ю
+[231.040 --> 240.600]  Handsivative
+[240.600 --> 242.200] 是這樣
+[242.200 --> 269.460]  фотографии
+[299.460 --> 308.580]  longitudinal
+[308.580 --> 309.780]  what
+[310.500 --> 313.020]  incomes
+[313.020 --> 315.580]  сам
+[315.580 --> 320.140]  suits
+[320.140 --> 320.300]  о
+[321.020 --> 323.240]  счастье
+[323.240 --> 326.680] อ
+[326.680 --> 329.280]  이게
+[329.420 --> 336.100]  surgeries
+[339.900 --> 343.420]  все Integrate
+[347.120 --> 349.240]  taken
+[349.360 --> 352.840]  сегодня
+[352.840 --> 356.680]  уkunömен
+[356.680 --> 359.180]  объ pain
+[359.280 --> 363.280]  Это левцами, они не имеют в this hand to condemn every part of your body.
+[363.280 --> 366.280]  Сейчас, если вы не понимаете, это ясно, что это,
+[366.280 --> 367.280]  я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[367.280 --> 370.280]  В бендан, это не то, что вы понимаете, что это не фрубленный.
+[370.280 --> 371.280]  Это не фрубленный.
+[371.280 --> 373.280]  Это не фрубленный.
+[373.280 --> 376.280]  Сейчас, если вы не хотите, то это не фрубленный.
+[376.280 --> 379.280]  Не знаю, что это не у меня, но мы не понимаем это.
+[379.280 --> 381.280]  В этом же время я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[381.280 --> 383.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[383.280 --> 385.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[385.280 --> 387.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[387.280 --> 389.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[389.280 --> 391.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[391.280 --> 393.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[393.280 --> 395.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[395.280 --> 397.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[397.280 --> 399.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[399.280 --> 401.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[401.280 --> 403.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[403.280 --> 405.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[405.280 --> 407.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[407.280 --> 408.280]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[408.300 --> 409.660]  Фрубленный!
+[409.660 --> 412.280]  Когда ты hatte что-либо scout?
+[412.280 --> 413.300]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[413.300 --> 415.300]  Я сказал, что это не фрубленный.
+[415.300 --> 416.260]  Это не фрубленный, а еще, когда вдруг нужноячиться к АНГà ПАТОМЕКРЯКОН.
+[422.260 --> 424.280]  Дальчик, но führt, что rhy timelessствует нас.
+[430.240 --> 431.960]  А cosa ты souff 어렵ил?
+[432.380 --> 434.380]  Шолкитать бahn и стотрground.
+[434.380 --> 447.940]  А liaison у нее как
+[452.100 --> 457.500]  만나рных
+[457.880 --> 462.780]  Моя семье
+[462.780 --> 492.780]  Он, в принципе, он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он, в дождь, и он,
+[492.780 --> 511.800]  в дождь не парawatя, Он в стиле! Он в дождь не парawatя! Я не làm и у него тебя даст, вы publishers dealer не видишь меня, wszystkie вы publisher curso Дар rum já
+[511.800 --> 515.280]  Он Lectin shall be in his eyes
+[517.320 --> 518.800]  tej scalpe
+[518.800 --> 521.800]  полик нужно все эти минarde
+[521.800 --> 524.200]  фильмы
+[524.200 --> 526.200]  а это неподило
+[526.200 --> 528.100] arity
+[528.100 --> 531.460]  если он неiph أي цехи
+[531.460 --> 534.900]  Он representa
+[534.900 --> 535.880]  Вамulate
+[538.480 --> 540.960]  аос gurus
+[540.960 --> 544.960]  Я не могу сказать, что он был человек, а он был не человек.
+[544.960 --> 553.960]  Я не могу сказать, что он был человек, а он был человек, а он был человек.
+[584.960 --> 590.960]  Если вы везли для права, вы узнаете.
+[591.960 --> 594.960]  И вы узнаете, что я был человек.
+[595.960 --> 599.960]  Я не могу сказать, что вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[601.960 --> 604.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[605.960 --> 607.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[608.960 --> 610.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[610.960 --> 613.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[613.960 --> 616.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[616.960 --> 618.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[618.960 --> 620.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[620.960 --> 622.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[622.960 --> 624.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[624.960 --> 626.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[626.960 --> 628.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[628.960 --> 630.960]  Вы не ��езли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[630.960 --> 632.960]  Вы не везли для того, чтобы вы не везли.
+[633.960 --> 634.960]  Вы…
+[636.480 --> 638.160]  Я Griff Yue…
+[644.960 --> 647.960]  Как ты в той ahora раз езжал от вигные детства?
+[648.960 --> 650.960]  Как ты в третья раз meisten бабушки?
+[650.960 --> 653.960]  Что были «П Band» и «Сон хорошо» и « nada».
+[656.960 --> 657.960]  Ну, Augenка их quota?
+[657.960 --> 659.960]  Ты кто П 보�у?
+[659.960 --> 661.960]  Пой вы plutôt vitni�� squomps?
+[662.960 --> 665.180]  Вот он это!
+[665.180 --> 667.640]  Я тут puedo приносить호� 따жный responsable
+[667.640 --> 677.420]  Вот он это, он просто лежит и 분들은
+[677.420 --> 680.840]  Онусальный даноно 생각이שный, и оченьaving
+[680.840 --> 683.860]  Ты знаешь, что он comin Chevron?
+[683.860 --> 692.400]  Я могу выpruchить его наows вмessen
+[692.400 --> 698.620]  Все хорошо кум prueba прямо ஐмем сидят으�го
+[701.620 --> 709.040]  Я игра живу на Фnut disproportionately
+[709.040 --> 712.360]  strategically
+[712.360 --> 717.560]  может ноч genetically
+[718.860 --> 721.340]  это Kubernetes
+[721.340 --> 723.500]  не understand
+[725.500 --> 729.080]  если мыaneousист переплуживают
+[729.640 --> 732.720]  если мы advertisement
+[732.720 --> 734.220]  потолкиваем
+[734.220 --> 736.200]  это нормально
+[736.200 --> 739.200]  Это гр farting library.
+[741.960 --> 750.840]  После этого я решать направлять faux привет Priority
+[750.840 --> 755.740]  для вас Т civilizations
+[755.760 --> 759.460]  Не verstehen Poly to
+[759.460 --> 768.560]  а , ,σωр vient в factual zeker не до maturity
+[771.920 --> 775.760]  пол Repo
+[776.460 --> 779.480]  Changye
+[783.240 --> 783.760]  уважении
+[784.660 --> 787.740]  поражifica
+[789.460 --> 791.460]  Я не знаю, что это было.
+[792.460 --> 794.460]  Какой человек не может быть?
+[794.460 --> 796.460]  Что это было?
+[796.460 --> 798.460]  Что это было?
+[798.460 --> 800.460]  Что это было?
+[800.460 --> 801.460]  Что это было?
+[801.460 --> 803.460]  Что это было?
+[803.460 --> 805.460]  Что это было?
+[805.460 --> 807.460]  Что это было?
+[807.460 --> 809.460]  Что это было?
+[809.460 --> 811.460]  Что это было?
+[811.460 --> 813.460]  Что это было?
+[813.460 --> 815.460]  Что это было?
+[815.460 --> 817.460]  Что это было?
+[818.460 --> 820.460]  Надrama-стой-стой-стой-стой-стойitzой.
+[820.460 --> 823.460] 滿 весело с charity park??
+[823.460 --> 825.460]  Кто это cs revenues crowd???
+[825.460 --> 827.460]  Кто это accident???
+[828.460 --> 830.460]  Что это такое??
+[830.460 --> 832.800]  Из-любляем racial identity当перик
+[837.800 --> 839.800]  Я не знаю.
+[840.960 --> 841.800]  Learn music
+[842.440 --> 842.460]  trunk в ф точки зрителей
+[842.460 --> 846.560]  Ты當 neutralized your video, just finished watching it
+[847.660 --> 848.760]  Но ты capitан darauf не必
+[849.280 --> 851.320]  Göко ты не хочешь подписаться на� rhymes
+[851.680 --> 854.120]  Со�ните我說 скор fisher
+[854.520 --> 857.240]  Скоро, чем叱
+[857.480 --> 858.800]  Ин always goin back to love
+[858.940 --> 861.440]  Ф dangerous DLC

transcript/comedy_okSCIqxTyD8.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,142 @@
+[0.000 --> 5.000]  Politico lingers on candidates' fingers
+[5.000 --> 8.000]  and defend Waltz's wide eyes
+[8.000 --> 11.000]  as they claim beards are for bad guys.
+[11.000 --> 13.000]  Tyler, speaking of beards,
+[13.000 --> 15.000]  and I mean the one on your face,
+[15.000 --> 17.000]  not the one that you hang out with.
+[17.000 --> 19.000]  Is it the shirt?
+[19.000 --> 21.000]  Yeah, it's the shirt.
+[21.000 --> 23.000]  For a little guy, you got a lot of hair though,
+[23.000 --> 24.000]  I gotta say.
+[24.000 --> 27.000]  Well, it's my leg here that I glue over.
+[27.000 --> 29.000]  So, like a little garment.
+[29.000 --> 32.000]  Some hack of Politico writes this piece
+[32.000 --> 34.000]  on the body language from the debate,
+[34.000 --> 36.000]  claiming that it speaks volumes.
+[36.000 --> 38.000]  Yeah, it says that Waltz lost,
+[38.000 --> 40.000]  but they, one of them,
+[40.000 --> 43.000]  Politico says it's like Waltz's wide eyes
+[43.000 --> 47.000]  showed his passion and emotional intensity.
+[47.000 --> 50.000]  Can we show that there isn't wide eyes?
+[50.000 --> 54.000]  That humans would widen their eyes
+[54.000 --> 57.000]  to convey that danger is close.
+[57.000 --> 60.000]  What emotion are you getting from that?
+[60.000 --> 61.000]  Sorry.
+[61.000 --> 64.000]  That was everything.
+[64.000 --> 70.000]  Dude, look at the hair cap.
+[70.000 --> 76.000]  First of all, Tim Waltz very much looked burdened
+[76.000 --> 78.000]  by what has not been,
+[78.000 --> 80.000]  and what will never be.
+[80.000 --> 83.000]  He had that face like a cop pulled him over
+[83.000 --> 86.000]  and he just realized he had heroin in his pocket.
+[86.000 --> 89.000]  Go, Mo.
+[89.000 --> 90.000]  Where am I?
+[90.000 --> 91.000]  The debate?
+[91.000 --> 92.000]  Oh, where am I? The debate?
+[92.000 --> 95.000]  Yeah. Body language is everything.
+[95.000 --> 96.000]  I mean, it's everything.
+[96.000 --> 97.000]  You have to look calm,
+[97.000 --> 99.000]  and look, see, look what you're doing a little bit.
+[99.000 --> 100.000]  You look calm, relaxed.
+[100.000 --> 101.000]  I am.
+[101.000 --> 103.000]  It's why when I'm making love to a woman,
+[103.000 --> 105.000]  you want to do, you know, listen.
+[105.000 --> 106.000]  Yeah.
+[106.000 --> 107.000]  Take notes.
+[107.000 --> 108.000]  It's a theory.
+[108.000 --> 111.000]  It's a theory.
+[111.000 --> 112.000]  Hypothetical.
+[112.000 --> 113.000]  You want to become.
+[113.000 --> 114.000]  You want to become,
+[114.000 --> 116.000]  and you want to do minimal movements.
+[116.000 --> 119.000]  It's why I do, in bed, what's called the Mitch McConnell,
+[119.000 --> 121.000]  where I just kind of...
+[121.000 --> 125.000]  And then she'll pick up and she'll end up doing most of the work.
+[125.000 --> 127.000]  Write that down, Tim Waltz.
+[127.000 --> 130.000]  You are truly a Casanova.
+[130.000 --> 132.000]  All right, Kat.
+[132.000 --> 135.000]  They did a stupid take on Vance's facial hair.
+[135.000 --> 136.000]  Yes.
+[136.000 --> 141.000]  They said that voters see beards as more masculine.
+[141.000 --> 144.000]  But also, it could be negative,
+[144.000 --> 146.000]  conveying aggression,
+[146.000 --> 148.000]  and the opposition to feminist ideals.
+[148.000 --> 149.000]  Isn't that sexist?
+[149.000 --> 151.000]  There are plenty of women with beards.
+[151.000 --> 152.000]  No, dude.
+[152.000 --> 160.000]  Honestly, this guy is the perfect example of how just because you're an expert
+[160.000 --> 162.000]  doesn't mean you're not a f***ing idiot.
+[162.000 --> 163.000]  Yeah.
+[163.000 --> 164.000]  He does.
+[164.000 --> 166.000]  Okay, beards, all right.
+[166.000 --> 168.000]  Have you ever been to Brooklyn?
+[168.000 --> 169.000]  Yeah.
+[169.000 --> 171.000]  And seeing these dudes in Brooklyn with their soy lattes
+[171.000 --> 172.000]  walking around?
+[172.000 --> 173.000]  Yeah.
+[173.000 --> 178.000]  I mean, it's like you spent great 50 years doing this 25 in the FBI.
+[178.000 --> 179.000]  Great.
+[179.000 --> 183.000]  But you've never even heard of a hipster, like how useful are you really?
+[183.000 --> 184.000]  Yeah.
+[184.000 --> 186.000]  He opened up with his credentials.
+[186.000 --> 188.000]  I've been doing this so long, I've been doing this long,
+[188.000 --> 192.000]  and then he just proceeds in the next set to say one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my entire life.
+[192.000 --> 194.000]  It is true, though.
+[194.000 --> 195.000]  That's a big red flag.
+[195.000 --> 197.000]  Whenever you meet someone, they have to give you their resume.
+[197.000 --> 201.000]  Yeah, and then as soon as they talk, like that's why you gave me your resume.
+[201.000 --> 203.000]  Yeah, because it doesn't speak for itself.
+[203.000 --> 204.000]  You suck.
+[204.000 --> 205.000]  Yeah.
+[205.000 --> 209.000]  It's like when people have their PhD on their Twitter handle.
+[209.000 --> 212.000]  You know this person's completely bonkers.
+[212.000 --> 213.000]  And their pronouns.
+[213.000 --> 214.000]  Yes.
+[214.000 --> 220.000]  Are you mad, though, Tyrus, that like, beards have been kind of co-opted by beta males like Tyler?
+[220.000 --> 222.000]  No, because they watch it.
+[222.000 --> 225.000]  It's like, wait, hold on.
+[225.000 --> 227.000]  That's what I say.
+[227.000 --> 231.000]  I will stick my hand up your back and make you my puppet for the rest of the show.
+[231.000 --> 237.000]  I will leave the last one, you'll, and you will answer for me.
+[237.000 --> 241.000]  But that angry outburst had nothing to do with my beard.
+[241.000 --> 243.000]  Yeah.
+[243.000 --> 245.000]  I love it.
+[245.000 --> 248.000]  When they said it was masculine, it's a little frugal.
+[248.000 --> 249.000]  Yeah.
+[249.000 --> 250.000]  That's one of the things.
+[250.000 --> 254.000]  The reason why men grow beards scientifically is because we're the ones that fight and are aggressive
+[254.000 --> 257.000]  and it adds a little bit more protection to our face.
+[257.000 --> 261.000]  So, he probably, JD probably shouldn't have wore a beard.
+[261.000 --> 268.000]  He probably should have wore a hazmat suit to protect him from all the f**k that was flying over from the other side.
+[268.000 --> 278.000]  No, Emily, this expert also claimed that Walt pointed directly at the camera,
+[278.000 --> 281.000]  which means he wants you to pay attention.
+[282.000 --> 285.000]  I mean, I just...
+[285.000 --> 288.000]  I hope this person wasn't paid by political.
+[288.000 --> 292.000]  But to your point in the beginning to the question, this is exactly why everyone hates mainstream media.
+[292.000 --> 294.000]  And it is so hypocritical, by the way.
+[294.000 --> 298.000]  Do you remember when the same fashion experts, and this one was for the New York Times,
+[298.000 --> 302.000]  analyzed the RNC and DNC and said how walls wore filsen,
+[302.000 --> 304.000]  and that made him a man of the people.
+[304.000 --> 308.000]  But then when he showed up in a suit, it was an elegant representation of DC.
+[308.000 --> 313.000]  But then when Vance wears filsen all of a sudden, he's a microaggression and everyone should be afraid of him.
+[313.000 --> 317.000]  I was walking down an alley man, and I saw a man with a beard, just a guy with a beard,
+[317.000 --> 322.000]  or that expression, believe me, the pepper spray would be all sprayed all over walls.
+[322.000 --> 325.000]  That is the freak, not JD.
+[328.000 --> 334.000]  Yeah, Walt's expression throughout the entire time did not convey steadiness.
+[334.000 --> 337.000]  Like almost like unsteady weirdness.
+[337.000 --> 340.000]  Look at three... He could have been one of the three stooges, just like...
+[340.000 --> 342.000]  Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
+[342.000 --> 344.000]  What is your name, Bill? I go back to Walt's was shocked.
+[344.000 --> 347.000]  He's like, he likes me. He really likes me.
+[347.000 --> 351.000]  He was writing notes going, ha, ha, told you he'd like me guys if I was just myself.
+[351.000 --> 353.000]  Be myself. He made a friend that day. That's what Walt's was like,
+[353.000 --> 355.000]  oh, you're not going to bring up any of this.
+[355.000 --> 356.000]  I've been a part of.
+[356.000 --> 359.000]  It's true. It's like a weird, mere cat.
+[359.000 --> 361.000]  We're going to have lunch.
+[361.000 --> 363.000]  I made a new friend.
+[363.000 --> 368.000]  All right, up next, the media took their tails when a vet calls for alpha male.
+[368.000 --> 369.000]  Hey, Sean Hannity here.
+[369.000 --> 373.000]  Hey, click here to subscribe to Fox News YouTube page
+[373.000 --> 376.000]  and catch our hottest interviews and most compelling analysis.
+[376.000 --> 379.000]  You will not get it anywhere else.

transcript/comedy_pkNGGIKkqqc.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,722 @@
+[0.000 --> 8.120]  It's second baseman Steve Sack. Left team are Mike Marshall. First baseman Fred
+[8.120 --> 13.980]  Brock and shortstop Dave Anderson. Plays today in the Los Angeles
+[13.980 --> 20.200]  Los Angeles Charities special on body language. And here's the style of body language
+[20.200 --> 24.200]  Tom Kennedy.
+[24.200 --> 33.200]  Hello there. I don't know what you guys did to have special tickets like this to get
+[33.200 --> 36.840]  in for today's show, but you happen to be a winning audience because we've got a real
+[36.840 --> 42.480]  show lined up for you. It's been a great week. We had a wild week with Jim J Bullock and
+[42.480 --> 46.880]  Joe Nell Allen. And all week long we had four guys out there in that audience who have
+[46.880 --> 50.280]  been watching the show preparing for today's show. They're here to play for their favorite
+[50.280 --> 54.360]  charities. Now you folks back east, all of us people out here in the west coast are
+[54.360 --> 59.260]  very proud of our Los Angeles Dodgers. And right now I'm going to give you four good
+[59.260 --> 64.960]  reasons why we're proud of. I want to introduce to you the National League, rookie of the
+[64.960 --> 71.280]  year in 1982. He played on the All Star team in 82 and 83 and that is Mr. Steve Sack.
+[71.280 --> 73.280]  Thank you.
+[73.280 --> 75.280]  Thank you.
+[75.280 --> 85.280]  Dana Kennedy, Dana Cho, Nancy, Elzy, Teresa, and Kay, Uncle Tom, and Helen, Uncle Bill.
+[85.280 --> 87.280]  How y'all doing?
+[87.280 --> 92.000]  Also the fifth best stealer in the league and when he comes out of his show he's going
+[92.000 --> 95.280]  to be one heck of a guy. Steve, welcome to the show.
+[95.280 --> 97.280]  Thank you, Tom.
+[97.280 --> 102.280]  We're going to be playing for it. I'm playing for the American Diabetes Association.
+[102.280 --> 106.280]  And the audience right now is Bob Banger, is lovely wife Eve and his mother. I haven't
+[106.280 --> 108.280]  met her yet but they're nice. They're right there.
+[108.280 --> 110.280]  All right. Good luck, Jacob.
+[110.280 --> 117.280]  All right. Next, number one cost back of the year in 1982 was he is one of the newest members
+[117.280 --> 121.280]  of our Dodger organization. He is shortstop Dave Anderson.
+[121.280 --> 123.280]  Thank you.
+[124.280 --> 126.280]  Hey.
+[126.280 --> 128.280]  I had to get stuck in this guy.
+[128.280 --> 129.280]  You got snacks.
+[129.280 --> 130.280]  I lost the time.
+[130.280 --> 132.280]  I forgot to mention that. Steve is the keen...
+[132.280 --> 133.280]  A keen tapton?
+[133.280 --> 135.280]  Yeah, a keen tapton.
+[135.280 --> 138.280]  He is what he is and you are his player.
+[138.280 --> 140.280]  That's right. Now who are you playing for?
+[140.280 --> 142.280]  I'm playing for the Ronald McDonald House.
+[142.280 --> 145.280]  Very good, Dave.
+[145.280 --> 148.280]  But you're up against a very tough team.
+[148.280 --> 150.280]  A tough team.
+[150.280 --> 154.280]  It's happened by the NBA of the year in 1981.
+[154.280 --> 157.280]  He is a big football player he is.
+[157.280 --> 159.280]  He's also a big baseball player.
+[159.280 --> 162.280]  Six foot five inches. Left fielder Mike Marshall.
+[169.280 --> 171.280]  Oh, yeah. He's got to have a chance.
+[171.280 --> 172.280]  Oh, my chance.
+[172.280 --> 174.280]  They're asking for it. Who are you playing for?
+[174.280 --> 175.280]  A cystic fibrosis.
+[175.280 --> 178.280]  Very good. All right.
+[178.280 --> 182.280]  Now, when they weren't looking for a replacement for Steve Garvey,
+[182.280 --> 184.280]  that's a tough notch to fill.
+[184.280 --> 186.280]  This guy did it. He rookied the year.
+[186.280 --> 188.280]  As the rookie, he had 23 homers.
+[188.280 --> 192.280]  He is the father also of a two and a half month old boy I've been told.
+[192.280 --> 194.280]  Greg Brock, first baseman.
+[194.280 --> 200.280]  I like to say you know, two sessions of the chance to get the MVP for our chance.
+[200.280 --> 203.280]  All right. Who you playing for?
+[203.280 --> 204.280]  Who you playing for?
+[204.280 --> 205.280]  Concerned to.
+[205.280 --> 207.280]  Cancer Research geared toward children.
+[207.280 --> 209.280]  Okay. We're ready to go.
+[209.280 --> 210.280]  Let's do it.
+[210.280 --> 211.280]  We got optical art game.
+[211.280 --> 214.280]  It's to convey to your partner words through body language.
+[214.280 --> 215.280]  I need a hat.
+[215.280 --> 216.280]  Who's got a hat? Can I wear you a hat?
+[216.280 --> 217.280]  All right. We take ourself.
+[217.280 --> 218.280]  Through body. Yeah.
+[218.280 --> 219.280]  Sure. Why don't you?
+[219.280 --> 220.280]  Good manager.
+[220.280 --> 221.280]  Good manager. All right.
+[221.280 --> 225.280]  You convey to your partner words that tells your partner how to solve a puzzle.
+[225.280 --> 227.280]  You got that Steve. You come with me. Dave. Good on over now.
+[227.280 --> 228.280]  Good luck, Dave.
+[228.280 --> 231.280]  Oh, he's ready. All right.
+[231.280 --> 234.280]  Now, we're going to show you five and seven words of the world.
+[234.280 --> 236.280]  You're going to get a puzzle of the more words you get, Dave.
+[236.280 --> 239.280]  It's easier to be for you to solve that puzzle. They're ready. Here we are.
+[239.280 --> 241.280]  Come on, Andy. 60 seconds on the clock.
+[241.280 --> 242.280]  Here's your first word.
+[242.280 --> 243.280]  And go.
+[243.280 --> 245.280]  You're ballet dancer. Ballerina.
+[245.280 --> 246.280]  You got it.
+[246.280 --> 248.280]  Put your shoe on. Sock on it.
+[248.280 --> 250.280]  You're tired. I'm going to take a nap.
+[250.280 --> 251.280]  You're pajamas.
+[251.280 --> 252.280]  You're pajamas. You're booties.
+[252.280 --> 253.280]  Booty.
+[253.280 --> 254.280]  Slippers. Slippers.
+[254.280 --> 255.280]  Yes, yes.
+[255.280 --> 258.280]  You're sneaking. You're sneaking.
+[258.280 --> 259.280]  You're sneaking. You're sissy.
+[259.280 --> 260.280]  You're sissy.
+[260.280 --> 261.280]  You're sissy.
+[262.280 --> 263.280]  Pass.
+[263.280 --> 264.280]  Pass is the word.
+[264.280 --> 265.280]  Ten.
+[265.280 --> 266.280]  You got it.
+[266.280 --> 268.280]  You're a bird.
+[268.280 --> 269.280]  Just I'm going to bird.
+[269.280 --> 270.280]  Big throat.
+[270.280 --> 271.280]  Bird, the big throat.
+[271.280 --> 272.280]  A stork.
+[272.280 --> 273.280]  A stork.
+[273.280 --> 274.280]  A little bird.
+[274.280 --> 275.280]  A little bird.
+[275.280 --> 276.280]  A bigger than a stork.
+[276.280 --> 277.280]  Bigger than a stork.
+[277.280 --> 278.280]  Bigger than a stork with a big throat.
+[278.280 --> 279.280]  And he flies.
+[279.280 --> 280.280]  And he flies like that.
+[280.280 --> 281.280]  Pass.
+[281.280 --> 283.280]  You're sissy.
+[283.280 --> 284.280]  You're sissy.
+[284.280 --> 285.280]  You're sissy.
+[285.280 --> 286.280]  You're a dancer.
+[286.280 --> 287.280]  You're a dancer.
+[287.280 --> 288.280]  You're some kind of dancer.
+[288.280 --> 289.280]  You're dancing.
+[289.280 --> 290.280]  You're dancing.
+[290.280 --> 291.280]  Don't talk.
+[291.280 --> 292.280]  You can pass.
+[292.280 --> 293.280]  Pass.
+[293.280 --> 294.280]  All right, pass.
+[294.280 --> 295.280]  Here we go.
+[295.280 --> 296.280]  You're a bird.
+[296.280 --> 297.280]  A bee.
+[297.280 --> 298.280]  His neck.
+[298.280 --> 299.280]  His big neck.
+[299.280 --> 300.280]  A big bird with a big neck.
+[300.280 --> 301.280]  A peligan.
+[301.280 --> 302.280]  A peligan.
+[302.280 --> 303.280]  Is it kind of a bird?
+[303.280 --> 304.280]  Is it kind of a bird?
+[304.280 --> 305.280]  Your time is up.
+[305.280 --> 306.280]  You got three of them though.
+[306.280 --> 307.280]  Let's do it.
+[307.280 --> 308.280]  Good.
+[308.280 --> 309.280]  Good.
+[309.280 --> 311.280]  You got three, big, out of five.
+[311.280 --> 313.280]  And that's kind of a good thing.
+[313.280 --> 315.280]  Now, this is a $100 puzzle.
+[315.280 --> 317.280]  Let's look at the three words you've earned.
+[317.280 --> 318.280]  Here's one.
+[318.280 --> 319.280]  And two.
+[319.280 --> 320.280]  And three.
+[320.280 --> 321.280]  All right.
+[321.280 --> 324.280]  When a blank dollarina does blank blank,
+[324.280 --> 328.280]  she blanks these ten things that she keeps in her slippers.
+[328.280 --> 330.280]  What do you think, Dave?
+[330.280 --> 331.280]  Answer.
+[331.280 --> 333.280]  Penny's.
+[333.280 --> 335.280]  He said Penny's.
+[335.280 --> 336.280]  Here's the Penny's.
+[336.280 --> 337.280]  That's all right.
+[337.280 --> 338.280]  I'm going over here.
+[338.280 --> 339.280]  Greg, you're in the game.
+[339.280 --> 340.280]  Don't say anything yet.
+[340.280 --> 341.280]  You can't help me.
+[341.280 --> 342.280]  The game is still alive.
+[342.280 --> 343.280]  Greg, which blank next?
+[343.280 --> 344.280]  It's the one.
+[344.280 --> 345.280]  All right.
+[345.280 --> 348.280]  And a dandy ballerina does blank blank.
+[348.280 --> 349.280]  She blanks these ten things.
+[349.280 --> 350.280]  What do you think?
+[350.280 --> 351.280]  Tap your heels.
+[351.280 --> 352.280]  What's that?
+[352.280 --> 353.280]  Tap your heels?
+[353.280 --> 354.280]  Is it tap her heels?
+[354.280 --> 355.280]  He has to.
+[355.280 --> 356.280]  Who's not?
+[356.280 --> 357.280]  How close can you get?
+[357.280 --> 358.280]  Dave.
+[358.280 --> 359.280]  Three.
+[359.280 --> 360.280]  All right.
+[360.280 --> 362.280]  When a dandy ballerina does swan blanks,
+[362.280 --> 363.280]  she blanks these ten things.
+[363.280 --> 365.280]  What do you think, Dave?
+[365.280 --> 368.280]  Any ballerina swallows?
+[368.280 --> 369.280]  All right.
+[369.280 --> 370.280]  We're back.
+[370.280 --> 371.280]  Greg, we're back to you.
+[371.280 --> 372.280]  Which blank?
+[372.280 --> 373.280]  Four or five?
+[373.280 --> 375.280]  Well, this isn't as easy as it is.
+[375.280 --> 377.280]  Four or five?
+[377.280 --> 378.280]  Number four.
+[378.280 --> 379.280]  All right.
+[379.280 --> 381.280]  When a dandy ballerina does swan lake,
+[381.280 --> 384.280]  she blanks these ten things that she keeps in her slippers.
+[384.280 --> 385.280]  Shh.
+[385.280 --> 387.280]  Don't make it tough, just.
+[387.280 --> 388.280]  She swam.
+[388.280 --> 390.280]  Back to you.
+[390.280 --> 391.280]  Dave.
+[391.280 --> 392.280]  I'll take five.
+[392.280 --> 393.280]  All right.
+[393.280 --> 394.280]  There it is.
+[394.280 --> 396.280]  When a dandy ballerina does swan lake,
+[396.280 --> 399.280]  she points these ten things that she keeps in her slippers.
+[399.280 --> 400.280]  What is it?
+[400.280 --> 401.280]  Toesie.
+[401.280 --> 402.280]  Toesie.
+[402.280 --> 403.280]  Oh, no.
+[403.280 --> 404.280]  Oh, no.
+[404.280 --> 405.280]  Oh, no.
+[405.280 --> 406.280]  Here.
+[406.280 --> 407.280]  Oh, no.
+[407.280 --> 408.280]  Oh, no.
+[408.280 --> 409.280]  Oh, no.
+[409.280 --> 410.280]  Oh, no.
+[410.280 --> 411.280]  Oh, no.
+[411.280 --> 412.280]  Thank you.
+[412.280 --> 414.280]  When a dandy具 ballerina,
+[414.280 --> 416.280]  he did ballerina and swan,
+[416.280 --> 419.280]  you came up with a stork and also a snork.
+[419.280 --> 422.280]  But it happened to be a swan in this case,
+[422.280 --> 425.280]  and those are ten little dandy little toes.
+[425.280 --> 426.280]  These 10 things that she puts in there.
+[426.280 --> 428.280]  The first thing you reached 500 wins the game
+[428.280 --> 430.280]  and chance a ten thousand dollars back with Mike Marshall.
+[430.280 --> 431.280]  Marshall's being right after that.
+[431.280 --> 440.280]  One hundred dollars for green screen zero for the red team.
+[440.280 --> 441.280]  We've got a red hot contest.
+[441.280 --> 442.280]  The red team is up next.
+[442.280 --> 444.280]  And you might be down here and Greg.
+[444.280 --> 445.280]  Go for the red team.
+[445.280 --> 446.280]  Good luck.
+[446.280 --> 449.280]  You might be Marshall and Greg's block there.
+[449.280 --> 450.280]  Going in at it again.
+[450.280 --> 452.280]  That's another one hundred dollar puzzle.
+[452.280 --> 453.280]  Are you all set?
+[453.280 --> 454.280]  We're ready to go.
+[454.280 --> 455.280]  All right.
+[455.280 --> 456.280]  60 seconds on the clock.
+[456.280 --> 457.280]  Here's your first word.
+[457.280 --> 458.280]  And go.
+[458.280 --> 460.280]  Okay, you're an animal.
+[460.280 --> 461.280]  You're an animal.
+[461.280 --> 462.280]  Where you dog?
+[462.280 --> 463.280]  Dog?
+[463.280 --> 464.280]  Cat?
+[464.280 --> 465.280]  Big dog.
+[465.280 --> 466.280]  Full dog.
+[466.280 --> 467.280]  Full dog.
+[467.280 --> 468.280]  Catching?
+[468.280 --> 469.280]  Catching your catcher.
+[469.280 --> 470.280]  Your batter fox.
+[470.280 --> 471.280]  Your out park.
+[471.280 --> 472.280]  Your out park.
+[472.280 --> 473.280]  Your nephew, your barking.
+[473.280 --> 474.280]  Your Lissorta.
+[474.280 --> 475.280]  You're Lissorta, one of the two of the three of the three of you.
+[475.280 --> 476.280]  You're opening a can.
+[476.280 --> 477.280]  You're drugs.
+[477.280 --> 478.280]  You're drinking beer.
+[478.280 --> 479.280]  Wine.
+[479.280 --> 480.280]  Beer.
+[480.280 --> 481.280]  Beer.
+[481.280 --> 482.280]  You're drinking beer.
+[482.280 --> 483.280]  Beer.
+[483.280 --> 484.280]  Beer.
+[484.280 --> 485.280]  Beer.
+[485.280 --> 486.280]  Beer.
+[486.280 --> 487.280]  Beer.
+[487.280 --> 489.880]  You think you can fear?
+[489.880 --> 491.720]  You want an okay, keg, keg?
+[491.720 --> 492.560]  Pass.
+[492.560 --> 493.400]  Pass.
+[493.400 --> 495.080]  Good.
+[495.080 --> 496.960]  Okay, tie.
+[496.960 --> 499.360]  Tie, you'll take seedle, you'll put an on collar.
+[499.360 --> 500.360]  Collar?
+[500.360 --> 501.360]  Tie in a tie.
+[501.360 --> 502.360]  Tie in a tie.
+[502.360 --> 504.400]  Long tie, you're tying a long tie.
+[504.400 --> 505.640]  Seedle collar.
+[505.640 --> 506.640]  Collar.
+[506.640 --> 507.640]  Collar.
+[507.640 --> 508.640]  Collar.
+[508.640 --> 509.640]  What?
+[509.640 --> 510.640]  Pass.
+[510.640 --> 511.640]  Pass.
+[511.640 --> 512.640]  Pass.
+[512.640 --> 513.640]  Keep passing.
+[513.640 --> 517.160]  Big, you're gigantic.
+[517.160 --> 519.480]  Monster, a thin.
+[519.480 --> 520.960]  Hey, daddy!
+[520.960 --> 530.780]  Hey, you're tying this up.
+[530.780 --> 536.000]  Go and do it more talking, because it's a good one.
+[536.000 --> 537.000]  Let's take a look at this.
+[537.000 --> 538.880]  It says, first of all, there's the puzzle.
+[538.880 --> 540.360]  Here's your one word.
+[540.360 --> 545.160]  No, it reads this blank, where's thin blank.
+[545.160 --> 551.160]  Does blank for blank and gets as much blank as a blank?
+[551.160 --> 551.760]  What do you think?
+[551.760 --> 552.560]  A clown?
+[552.560 --> 554.160]  Is it a clown or not?
+[554.160 --> 556.600]  It is not a clown and that means Dave is in the game.
+[556.600 --> 557.600]  Come on over here Dave.
+[557.600 --> 558.400]  Interesting.
+[558.400 --> 559.560]  We're going to go back and forth to one of you
+[559.560 --> 560.600]  guesses which blank.
+[560.600 --> 562.040]  Give me number six.
+[562.040 --> 563.440]  All right, number six.
+[563.440 --> 566.960]  And gets as much respect as a blank.
+[566.960 --> 569.160]  What do you think?
+[570.160 --> 572.160]  Greg, back to you.
+[572.160 --> 573.680]  Seven.
+[573.680 --> 576.920]  And gets as much respect as a dog catcher.
+[576.920 --> 577.680]  Mailman?
+[577.680 --> 579.360]  Is it mailman?
+[579.360 --> 579.960]  Dave?
+[579.960 --> 582.440]  Number one.
+[582.440 --> 586.600]  This comic, where's thin blank, does blank for blank, et cetera.
+[586.600 --> 587.960]  What do you think, Dave?
+[587.960 --> 588.960]  Shh.
+[588.960 --> 590.800]  I know.
+[590.800 --> 592.440]  All right, back to you, Greg.
+[592.440 --> 594.200]  We take a blank first, Greg.
+[594.200 --> 596.040]  OK, let's go.
+[596.040 --> 596.800]  Three.
+[596.800 --> 597.800]  All right.
+[597.800 --> 598.680]  Ben Nectis.
+[598.680 --> 600.200]  What do you think?
+[600.200 --> 601.080]  Steve Martin.
+[601.080 --> 601.920]  Oh, I thought you had it.
+[601.920 --> 603.120]  Is it Steve Martin?
+[603.120 --> 603.920]  Oh, Dave.
+[603.920 --> 605.560]  I guess that wasn't it.
+[605.560 --> 606.640]  Dave, we're back to you.
+[606.640 --> 607.440]  Number four.
+[607.440 --> 609.360]  All right, this comic, where thin Nectis,
+[609.360 --> 612.200]  does, could we see four?
+[612.200 --> 615.240]  Does commercials for blank and gets as much respect as a dog
+[615.240 --> 615.720]  catcher?
+[615.720 --> 616.720]  What do you think?
+[616.720 --> 617.560]  The world pool, man.
+[617.560 --> 619.040]  Is it the world pool, man?
+[619.040 --> 620.040]  Yeah.
+[620.040 --> 621.040]  All right.
+[621.040 --> 622.040]  All right?
+[622.040 --> 623.200]  Greg, here's your thing.
+[623.200 --> 623.880]  There's the thing.
+[623.880 --> 624.880]  Just revealed number five.
+[624.880 --> 625.680]  Oh, no.
+[625.680 --> 626.680]  Shh.
+[626.680 --> 627.680]  Don't wait for it.
+[627.680 --> 629.720]  This comic, where thin Nectis does,
+[629.720 --> 632.560]  commercials for light beer and gets as much respect
+[632.560 --> 633.800]  as a dog catcher.
+[633.800 --> 634.560]  Rodney Dangerfield.
+[634.560 --> 635.800]  Is it Rodney Dangerfield?
+[635.800 --> 636.800]  We got it.
+[636.800 --> 638.800]  Oh, no.
+[638.800 --> 640.200]  Not yet.
+[640.200 --> 644.520]  If they all stuck out, that's $100 for you.
+[644.520 --> 645.440]  And what do we have?
+[645.440 --> 648.480]  We have $100 a piece of ferocious contest.
+[648.480 --> 650.080]  Pull me back to our current $50.
+[650.080 --> 651.080]  Let's go.
+[651.080 --> 654.080]  Go, fast.
+[654.080 --> 655.480]  $100 a piece.
+[655.480 --> 656.920]  The green team and the red team.
+[656.920 --> 657.920]  Yeah, we do a switch a little.
+[657.920 --> 659.200]  We're back to Steve's team.
+[659.200 --> 661.240]  But this time, Steve is receiving a Dave's giving.
+[661.240 --> 662.240]  Let's go.
+[662.240 --> 663.400]  Dave's team.
+[663.400 --> 665.760]  Dave and the club boss.
+[665.760 --> 666.920]  This is what Dodgers trained for.
+[666.920 --> 668.120]  They played for Charity's.
+[668.120 --> 669.400]  Dave, you know how to do this.
+[669.400 --> 670.000]  Don't you?
+[670.000 --> 671.360]  60 seconds on the clock.
+[671.360 --> 672.400]  Give the man his time.
+[672.400 --> 674.400]  Here's your first word and the game.
+[674.400 --> 675.240]  Come on, Andy.
+[675.240 --> 675.760]  The mouse.
+[675.760 --> 676.480]  The mouse.
+[676.480 --> 677.320]  Eat cheese.
+[677.320 --> 677.920]  You got it.
+[677.920 --> 678.920]  That's.
+[678.920 --> 680.400]  Come on, pass.
+[680.400 --> 681.400]  Pass.
+[681.400 --> 682.600]  Let's go.
+[682.600 --> 684.120]  OK, yeah.
+[684.120 --> 685.120]  What?
+[685.120 --> 686.120]  You're on the ground.
+[686.120 --> 687.120]  You're eating dog food?
+[687.120 --> 688.120]  You're eating.
+[688.120 --> 689.120]  What do you mean eating?
+[689.120 --> 690.120]  What do you mean eating, Dave?
+[690.120 --> 695.120]  You're eating cut in half a taco, a dog.
+[695.120 --> 696.120]  A hot dog.
+[696.120 --> 697.120]  Hot dog.
+[697.120 --> 698.120]  Yeah.
+[698.120 --> 700.120]  You're opening a shock.
+[700.120 --> 701.120]  Electric.
+[701.120 --> 702.120]  Yes.
+[702.120 --> 703.120]  You're right.
+[703.120 --> 704.120]  Pass.
+[704.120 --> 705.120]  Pass.
+[705.120 --> 706.120]  Come on, Andy.
+[706.120 --> 707.120]  You're cold.
+[707.120 --> 708.120]  It's freezing.
+[708.120 --> 709.120]  You're chilly.
+[709.120 --> 710.120]  It's cold.
+[710.120 --> 711.120]  You're shivering.
+[711.120 --> 712.120]  It's cold outside.
+[712.120 --> 713.120]  Come on.
+[713.120 --> 714.120]  You need some more clothes.
+[714.120 --> 715.120]  It's cold.
+[715.120 --> 716.120]  Pass.
+[716.120 --> 717.120]  You're a woman.
+[717.120 --> 718.120]  You're bride.
+[718.120 --> 719.120]  Grume.
+[719.120 --> 720.120]  Sexy.
+[720.120 --> 721.120]  Put in a move on.
+[721.120 --> 722.120]  Kissing.
+[722.120 --> 723.120]  A gory.
+[723.120 --> 724.120]  Kissing.
+[724.120 --> 725.120]  Smooching.
+[725.120 --> 726.120]  A needle.
+[726.120 --> 727.120]  A lever.
+[727.120 --> 728.120]  A bee.
+[728.120 --> 729.120]  A honey.
+[729.120 --> 730.120]  Honey.
+[730.120 --> 731.120]  Honey cheek.
+[731.120 --> 732.120]  Honey butt.
+[732.120 --> 733.120]  What?
+[733.120 --> 734.120]  What?
+[734.120 --> 735.120]  What?
+[735.120 --> 736.120]  Cut.
+[736.120 --> 737.120]  Oh.
+[737.120 --> 738.120]  Don't fall.
+[738.120 --> 743.120]  You did the best you could.
+[743.120 --> 745.120]  When you find out.
+[745.120 --> 747.120]  You got three of them.
+[747.120 --> 749.120]  And you're going to hate yourself on the fourth one.
+[749.120 --> 750.120]  Here's the putt.
+[750.120 --> 752.120]  Now, this is a $250 puzzle.
+[752.120 --> 754.120]  Let's look at the four words.
+[754.120 --> 758.120]  One, two, three, and.
+[758.120 --> 759.120]  Is it?
+[759.120 --> 760.120]  Oh, three.
+[760.120 --> 761.120]  I'm sorry.
+[761.120 --> 762.120]  Three words you got.
+[762.120 --> 764.120]  A hot dog with cheese might be called a blank in one of these.
+[764.120 --> 769.120]  And if you can blank under an electric one with your blank during a blank.
+[769.120 --> 771.120]  And you can blank them.
+[771.120 --> 772.120]  What do you think?
+[772.120 --> 773.120]  Steve Sacks.
+[773.120 --> 777.120]  All right, Mike, come on over here.
+[777.120 --> 780.120]  You're in the game, Mr. Marshall.
+[780.120 --> 782.120]  Which blank would you like next?
+[782.120 --> 783.120]  Four.
+[783.120 --> 784.120]  All right.
+[784.120 --> 786.120]  A hot dog with cheese might be called a blank in one of these.
+[786.120 --> 790.120]  And you can snuggle under an electric one with your blank during a blank.
+[790.120 --> 791.120]  Mike.
+[791.120 --> 792.120]  Blanket.
+[792.120 --> 793.120]  Is it?
+[793.120 --> 794.120]  Blanket.
+[794.120 --> 795.120]  And you got it.
+[795.120 --> 796.120]  Steve.
+[796.120 --> 799.120]  You played so well, they caught them in the hot dog with cheese.
+[799.120 --> 801.120]  Might be called a pig in one of these.
+[801.120 --> 804.120]  And you can snuggle under an electric one not with your electric honey.
+[804.120 --> 805.120]  Cheek.
+[805.120 --> 806.120]  Honey bun.
+[806.120 --> 808.120]  It was a honey bun during a blizzard.
+[808.120 --> 809.120]  That's what it was.
+[809.120 --> 811.120]  And you almost didn't get hot dogs.
+[811.120 --> 812.120]  Okay.
+[812.120 --> 814.120]  It's now 350 for the red team, 100 for the green team.
+[814.120 --> 815.120]  You sit down.
+[815.120 --> 817.120]  You stay right here and Greg is down here.
+[817.120 --> 818.120]  Greg.
+[818.120 --> 819.120]  Greg, come on.
+[819.120 --> 820.120]  Greg, come on.
+[820.120 --> 822.120]  There we go.
+[822.120 --> 823.120]  Greg and Mike, you have 350.
+[823.120 --> 824.120]  This is a $250 puzzle.
+[824.120 --> 826.120]  If you get this, you win the game.
+[826.120 --> 828.120]  Could we have 60 seconds on the clock, please?
+[828.120 --> 829.120]  Here's your first word.
+[830.120 --> 831.120]  And go.
+[831.120 --> 832.120]  Okay, you're eating something.
+[832.120 --> 833.120]  You got a chew in your mouth.
+[833.120 --> 834.120]  You got tobacco.
+[834.120 --> 836.120]  You got a chewing tobacco.
+[836.120 --> 837.120]  Yeah.
+[837.120 --> 838.120]  Nice.
+[838.120 --> 839.120]  That.
+[839.120 --> 841.120]  You're pitching.
+[841.120 --> 842.120]  You're throwing.
+[842.120 --> 843.120]  You're pitching.
+[843.120 --> 844.120]  You're warming up.
+[844.120 --> 845.120]  You're warming up.
+[845.120 --> 846.120]  You got to warm up.
+[846.120 --> 848.120]  You're warming up in the bullpen.
+[848.120 --> 849.120]  Yeah.
+[849.120 --> 850.120]  You got it next.
+[850.120 --> 851.120]  Okay, throwin' an upper ball.
+[851.120 --> 852.120]  Throwin' an upper ball.
+[852.120 --> 853.120]  Holy yeah.
+[853.120 --> 855.120]  All right.
+[855.120 --> 856.120]  You're screwdriver.
+[856.120 --> 857.120]  You got a screwdriver.
+[857.120 --> 858.120]  Yeah.
+[858.120 --> 859.120]  Great.
+[859.120 --> 860.120]  You're drinking something.
+[860.120 --> 862.720]  You're drinking something, you're drinking something,
+[862.720 --> 864.120]  and you're opening up the top...
+[864.120 --> 865.420]  and then you're wiping something off.
+[865.420 --> 868.120]  You got the top of the can, top of the can.
+[868.120 --> 869.120]  You puttin' something back on.
+[869.120 --> 872.120]  You were drinking something.
+[872.120 --> 873.120]  You were drinking something.
+[873.120 --> 874.120]  There's a carrot.
+[874.120 --> 875.120]  You were drinking Timothy Coleman.
+[875.120 --> 876.120]  You would drink it soda.
+[876.120 --> 878.120]  You were drinking...
+[878.120 --> 879.120]  You got a can.
+[879.120 --> 880.120]  You got a can.
+[880.120 --> 882.120]  You drinkin' a bottle of coal.
+[882.120 --> 884.120]  Youoker, what are you drinking?
+[884.120 --> 885.120]  A jar?
+[885.120 --> 887.120]  A jar.
+[887.120 --> 889.120]  A jar.
+[889.120 --> 891.120]  One.
+[891.120 --> 893.120]  Good bad, given up.
+[893.120 --> 895.120]  You got four.
+[895.120 --> 897.120]  How you doing?
+[897.120 --> 899.120]  Good luck to see the first four in short order.
+[899.120 --> 901.120]  I've told them with the last minute.
+[901.120 --> 903.120]  Four words will serve you well.
+[903.120 --> 905.120]  This is a $250 puzzle.
+[905.120 --> 907.120]  Here are your four words.
+[907.120 --> 909.120]  If you get this, you win the game.
+[909.120 --> 913.120]  And you can find one kind in the bullpen,
+[913.120 --> 915.120]  like knuckle balls and chewing tobacco.
+[915.120 --> 921.120]  And another kind might be blank of blank or screwdrivers.
+[921.120 --> 923.120]  What do you think?
+[923.120 --> 925.120]  Is it pitcher?
+[925.120 --> 927.120]  There you go.
+[927.120 --> 929.120]  Here you go.
+[929.120 --> 931.120]  Oh, I'm going ahead.
+[931.120 --> 933.120]  Here's my car.
+[933.120 --> 935.120]  Here you go.
+[935.120 --> 937.120]  All right, let's take this.
+[937.120 --> 939.120]  Let's have a little Sunday afternoon.
+[939.120 --> 941.120]  We can't say quarterback enough of baseball.
+[941.120 --> 943.120]  I'm going to find the bullpen throwing knuckle balls.
+[943.120 --> 945.120]  Well, you got that one quickly, chewing tobacco.
+[945.120 --> 947.120]  And another kind might be full of lemonade.
+[947.120 --> 949.120]  That was long.
+[949.120 --> 951.120]  You got it.
+[951.120 --> 953.120]  You got it.
+[953.120 --> 955.120]  You got it.
+[955.120 --> 957.120]  You got it.
+[957.120 --> 959.120]  You got it.
+[959.120 --> 961.120]  So Mike Marshall and Greg Brock win the game.
+[961.120 --> 963.120]  I don't know.
+[963.120 --> 965.120]  That's $600.
+[965.120 --> 967.120]  Now.
+[967.120 --> 969.120]  Well, the game is over, but we haven't gone for the big bucks yet.
+[969.120 --> 971.120]  You got it.
+[971.120 --> 973.120]  You guys sit down there.
+[973.120 --> 975.120]  Figure out your strategy.
+[975.120 --> 977.120]  One of you is going to give.
+[977.120 --> 979.120]  One of you is going to receive.
+[979.120 --> 983.120]  Because when we come back, Mike Marshall and Greg Brock are going to go for their respective charities.
+[983.120 --> 985.120]  A grand total of $10,000.
+[985.120 --> 987.120]  And we'll see how you do that.
+[987.120 --> 991.120]  Steve Sackley and Dave Anderson are going to sit this for now as they give.
+[991.120 --> 995.120]  Mike Marshall and Greg Brock now a chance for 10.
+[995.120 --> 997.120]  $10,000 to split between their charities.
+[997.120 --> 999.120]  So that means that Mike, you're going to be down here in the body language.
+[999.120 --> 1001.120]  Oh, you've done it.
+[1001.120 --> 1003.120]  You want to receive.
+[1003.120 --> 1005.120]  You'll receive.
+[1005.120 --> 1007.120]  You'll receive.
+[1007.120 --> 1009.120]  You'll receive.
+[1009.120 --> 1011.120]  Greg Brock.
+[1011.120 --> 1013.120]  You'll receive.
+[1013.120 --> 1015.120]  Greg Brock.
+[1015.120 --> 1017.120]  You'll receive.
+[1017.120 --> 1019.120]  Greg Brock.
+[1019.120 --> 1021.120]  You'll receive.
+[1021.120 --> 1023.120]  Greg Brock.
+[1023.120 --> 1027.120]  You can add to whatever you have up there, $550 or whatever, or $600.
+[1027.120 --> 1029.120]  You can add up to $10,000 for your charity.
+[1029.120 --> 1031.120]  We're going to give you 60 seconds, 10 words.
+[1031.120 --> 1035.120]  Mike, every word you get now is worth a hundred bucks.
+[1035.120 --> 1037.120]  And later on you can change the hundreds into thousands.
+[1037.120 --> 1039.120]  So good luck to both of you.
+[1039.120 --> 1041.120]  60 seconds on the clock.
+[1041.120 --> 1043.120]  Here is your first word, sir.
+[1043.120 --> 1045.120]  And go.
+[1045.120 --> 1047.120]  Okay, you're shooting something.
+[1047.120 --> 1049.120]  You're shooting.
+[1049.120 --> 1051.120]  You have $100.
+[1051.120 --> 1053.120]  Pass.
+[1053.120 --> 1055.120]  You're out.
+[1055.120 --> 1057.120]  Hey, $300.
+[1057.120 --> 1059.120]  You're a sissy, you're a fairy, you're a...
+[1059.120 --> 1061.120]  You got $400.
+[1061.120 --> 1063.120]  You're in the home run, you're swinging the back.
+[1063.120 --> 1065.120]  $500.
+[1065.120 --> 1067.120]  You're putting two space under two foot.
+[1067.120 --> 1069.120]  $600.
+[1069.120 --> 1071.120]  You got the shirt on.
+[1071.120 --> 1073.120]  You're a referee.
+[1073.120 --> 1075.120]  $700.
+[1075.120 --> 1077.120]  You're exercising.
+[1077.120 --> 1079.120]  You're working on your stomach.
+[1079.120 --> 1083.120]  And the machine you're drawing, your...
+[1083.120 --> 1085.120]  So the next is your past.
+[1085.120 --> 1087.120]  You're rolling the stomach.
+[1087.120 --> 1089.120]  A book.
+[1089.120 --> 1091.120]  You're eating.
+[1091.120 --> 1093.120]  You're eating while you're reading the paper.
+[1093.120 --> 1095.120]  You're reading a book about eating.
+[1095.120 --> 1097.120]  What is it?
+[1097.120 --> 1099.120]  TV dinner.
+[1099.120 --> 1101.120]  He's passing.
+[1101.120 --> 1103.120]  You don't know your loss, you know?
+[1103.120 --> 1105.120]  $800.
+[1105.120 --> 1107.120]  All right, you got $800.
+[1107.120 --> 1109.120]  That's right.
+[1109.120 --> 1111.120]  You got hung up on what he was doing.
+[1111.120 --> 1113.120]  You know what part of the body was, where it was a simple twist.
+[1113.120 --> 1117.120]  And if what he was reading while he was eating was reading what he was eating.
+[1117.120 --> 1119.120]  In other words, it was a menu.
+[1119.120 --> 1121.120]  Oh, man.
+[1121.120 --> 1123.120]  But you got $800.
+[1123.120 --> 1125.120]  That's terrific, Ninja.
+[1125.120 --> 1127.120]  $800 can become $8,000.
+[1127.120 --> 1129.120]  If you get all three words in 20 seconds.
+[1129.120 --> 1131.120]  If you don't get all three words, you still got $800.
+[1131.120 --> 1133.120]  Oh, you got $800.
+[1133.120 --> 1135.120]  Huh?
+[1135.120 --> 1137.120]  You've got all of 20 seconds.
+[1137.120 --> 1139.120]  All of it.
+[1139.120 --> 1141.120]  Good luck to both of you.
+[1141.120 --> 1143.120]  Let's have the 20 seconds, please.
+[1143.120 --> 1145.120]  Here's your first three words, Greg.
+[1145.120 --> 1147.120]  Go.
+[1147.120 --> 1149.120]  You shake it something.
+[1149.120 --> 1151.120]  You shake it some dice.
+[1151.120 --> 1153.120]  You can't hear it.
+[1153.120 --> 1155.120]  There's noise.
+[1155.120 --> 1157.120]  Your baby.
+[1157.120 --> 1159.120]  There's a rattle.
+[1159.120 --> 1161.120]  Money.
+[1161.120 --> 1163.120]  Money.
+[1163.120 --> 1165.120]  Pizza.
+[1165.120 --> 1167.120]  Pizza.
+[1167.120 --> 1169.120]  It was a pizza.
+[1169.120 --> 1171.120]  It was a pizza.
+[1171.120 --> 1173.120]  I didn't know that was six times six.
+[1173.120 --> 1175.120]  What did you do?
+[1175.120 --> 1177.120]  Rice.
+[1177.120 --> 1179.120]  Is that a name?
+[1179.120 --> 1181.120]  Here's your voices, Nick Doug.
+[1181.120 --> 1183.120]  What was that, Jerry Royce?
+[1183.120 --> 1185.120]  Ask him about it.
+[1185.120 --> 1187.120]  I know what it's called.
+[1187.120 --> 1189.120]  I'll ask him about it.
+[1189.120 --> 1191.120]  You get my nose.
+[1191.120 --> 1193.120]  Steve Sacks and Dave Anderson instead of 100.
+[1193.120 --> 1197.120]  We're going to make $500 a piece for each of their charities.
+[1197.120 --> 1199.120]  For Steve, it was.
+[1199.120 --> 1201.120]  The American Diabetes Association.
+[1201.120 --> 1203.120]  Dave Anderson's charity won.
+[1203.120 --> 1205.120]  Ronald McDonald House.
+[1205.120 --> 1207.120]  $500 a piece for you two.
+[1207.120 --> 1209.120]  Here are our awareness over here.
+[1209.120 --> 1211.120]  Mike Marshall and Greg Brock instead of $1400.
+[1211.120 --> 1213.120]  We're going to give you $5,000.
+[1213.120 --> 1215.120]  In other words, $2,504.
+[1215.120 --> 1217.120]  System five roses.
+[1217.120 --> 1219.120]  And $2,504.
+[1219.120 --> 1221.120]  And $3,000.
+[1221.120 --> 1223.120]  And Dick Gov.
+[1223.120 --> 1225.120]  And from all of us, to all of you,
+[1225.120 --> 1227.120]  keep well, keep healthy.
+[1227.120 --> 1229.120]  And watch the doctor and go to McLean.
+[1229.120 --> 1231.120]  Some of our department contestants will be saying,
+[1231.120 --> 1233.120]  four college is super-struckable.
+[1233.120 --> 1235.120]  Two test easy-fair late-text-flight ball and fit.
+[1235.120 --> 1237.120]  But these are walls with work.
+[1237.120 --> 1239.120]  Only at two-bottied high-press dollars.
+[1239.120 --> 1241.120]  Give them significant for Kentucky Friday chicken
+[1241.120 --> 1243.120]  and fresh buttermilk pissies.
+[1243.120 --> 1245.120]  You've got to write the chicken that's right.
+[1245.120 --> 1247.120]  Kentucky Friday chicken.
+[1247.120 --> 1248.120]  We do chicken right.
+[1248.120 --> 1250.120]  We do have a year with this ball smile.
+[1250.120 --> 1252.120]  The goal is to arrive with five cup container.
+[1252.120 --> 1254.120]  The continuous feeds include many blend jar
+[1254.120 --> 1256.120]  for quick single rinse.
+[1256.120 --> 1258.120]  Five minute call of multi-central cold syrup and tap.
+[1258.120 --> 1260.120]  This is to save the relief your cold and cold tips.
+[1260.120 --> 1262.120]  This is why I take all the new EU's and direct tips.
+[1262.120 --> 1264.120]  And remember, my beauty audience will receive
+[1264.120 --> 1266.120]  the Tatches Consent Match Music System.
+[1266.120 --> 1268.120]  May I have a cup of cereal receiver?
+[1268.120 --> 1270.120]  It's 7.5 watts per channel.
+[1270.120 --> 1272.120]  Delphiac drink.
+[1272.120 --> 1274.120]  They move.
+[1274.120 --> 1276.120]  Like a carbonate, two-way speaker system.
+[1276.120 --> 1284.120]  This is Daniel speaking for body lightweight.
+[1284.120 --> 1288.120]  A market of television products.
+[1288.120 --> 1290.120]  Tonight, Angela has a change of heart
+[1290.120 --> 1292.120]  seeing Lance and Lorraine's baby as the next year.
+[1292.120 --> 1294.120]  And Greg makes a plea to postpone Lance's trial.
+[1294.120 --> 1296.120]  Fall compressed to light it down.
+[1296.120 --> 1298.120]  Not.

transcript/comedy_syuz5-tYfMw.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,48 @@
+[0.000 --> 7.000]  Hey.
+[20.840 --> 25.840]  I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.
+[25.840 --> 27.840]  I'm applying for a new villain loan.
+[29.840 --> 35.840]  It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude.
+[39.840 --> 41.840]  Vector, that's me.
+[41.840 --> 46.840]  Because I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.
+[46.840 --> 48.840]  Oh yeah!
+[50.840 --> 51.840]  Check out my new weapon.
+[51.840 --> 53.840]  Piranha gun!
+[53.840 --> 54.840]  Oh yes!
+[54.840 --> 58.840]  Fire's live piranhas ever seen one before. Now you have an advantage.
+[58.840 --> 59.840]  I'm doing a demonstration.
+[72.840 --> 74.840]  I bet the mom is beautiful.
+[74.840 --> 76.840]  I bet Daddy's eyes sparkle.
+[76.840 --> 79.840]  I bet their house is made of dummy bears.
+[80.840 --> 82.840]  I'm just saying it being nice.
+[82.840 --> 85.840]  Oh! Hi girls!
+[94.840 --> 98.840]  Girls, I want you to make Mr. Guru.
+[98.840 --> 100.840]  He's going to adopt you.
+[100.840 --> 103.840]  And he's the dentist.
+[110.840 --> 112.840]  You're the best.
+[124.840 --> 126.840]  It was your cousin's idea.
+[140.840 --> 141.840]  What?
+[142.840 --> 143.840]  Oh sorry, dude.
+[143.840 --> 145.840]  I can't ride with that in the door.
+[145.840 --> 146.840]  What?
+[170.840 --> 171.840]  Go!
+[172.840 --> 173.840]  Go!
+[196.840 --> 198.840]  Only for RR to the lunch.
+[198.840 --> 201.840]  And all systems are gone.
+[201.840 --> 203.840]  Oh, about that.
+[203.840 --> 208.840]  I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist.
+[208.840 --> 213.840]  Please tell me this is not as a result of the girl's dance recital.
+[213.840 --> 214.840]  Is it?
+[214.840 --> 216.840]  No, no, no!
+[216.840 --> 218.840]  No! They're a cycled dog!
+[218.840 --> 219.840]  That's stupid.
+[219.840 --> 224.840]  I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday.
+[224.840 --> 226.840]  I was thinking maybe it...
+[227.840 --> 230.840]  ...heist is a Tuesday thing.
+[230.840 --> 231.840]  Right?
+[231.840 --> 235.840]  Guru, you and I have been working on this for years.
+[235.840 --> 237.840]  Is everything we've dreamed of?
+[237.840 --> 239.840]  Your chance to make history.
+[239.840 --> 242.840]  Become the man who stole the moon.
+[242.840 --> 246.840]  But these girls are becoming a major distraction.
+[246.840 --> 248.840]  They need to go.
+[248.840 --> 253.840]  If you don't do something about it, then I will.

transcript/comedy_v5FiMHQqMT4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,286 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.320]  It's not a card, okay? This is actually my English, it's English.
+[4.320 --> 9.600]  And I have to speak to you or to talk to you. I still don't know the difference between speaking and talking.
+[9.600 --> 12.560]  But apparently nobody knows.
+[12.560 --> 15.520]  That's why I'm going to try to explain to you.
+[15.520 --> 18.720]  I'm very interested for speaking is when you're speaking to somebody.
+[18.720 --> 22.320]  Talking on the other hand is when you're talking to somebody.
+[22.320 --> 23.920]  Thank you very much.
+[23.920 --> 25.920]  This is just...
+[25.920 --> 28.720]  I don't know if you want my English dictionary.
+[29.280 --> 31.120]  We have too many verbs in this country.
+[31.120 --> 36.800]  Speaking, talking, saying, telling, then you have a yelling, shouting, and screaming.
+[36.800 --> 40.400]  Three verbs to describe what Italian is just called conversation.
+[43.280 --> 44.240]  It's a name.
+[46.000 --> 48.560]  I wouldn't have said I'm going to be a new couple crazy in this country.
+[48.560 --> 50.000]  You mean in the sinalitaiano?
+[50.000 --> 50.880]  Mozzarella?
+[52.480 --> 56.240]  Mozzarella, pizza, spaghetti, a long list of carbs.
+[58.800 --> 60.320]  It's not like, hey, hey.
+[60.320 --> 62.240]  This is pan-whose-
+[62.240 --> 64.480]  We sound like these two.
+[64.480 --> 65.920]  Like, it's been a wee bit more.
+[65.920 --> 67.200]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[68.400 --> 69.360]  I'm going to say that.
+[69.360 --> 70.560]  I'm going to say, it's very sexy.
+[70.560 --> 72.000]  And this is how you think,
+[72.000 --> 73.520]  it's been a wee bit more.
+[73.520 --> 74.480]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[74.480 --> 75.520]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[75.520 --> 76.560]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[76.560 --> 77.520]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[78.560 --> 79.760]  It's been a wee bit more.
+[80.960 --> 81.760]  Three.
+[82.800 --> 83.840]  You know what I mean? It's very sexy.
+[83.840 --> 84.560]  And just with the wee bit,
+[84.560 --> 87.040]  then we've followed your feet here in the UK
+[87.120 --> 88.400]  because of your accent.
+[88.400 --> 90.640]  So every time I'm here, I'm ready to walk.
+[91.840 --> 92.800]  I'm being modest.
+[93.920 --> 94.800]  I'm wrapping my feet.
+[95.680 --> 97.680]  Please, stick the tongue on.
+[97.680 --> 98.720]  Stick the tongue on.
+[98.720 --> 99.680]  But I'm eating the mouth.
+[99.680 --> 100.640]  I'm holding it.
+[102.800 --> 103.920]  They'll have the-
+[103.920 --> 105.040]  When I had the sinalitaiano,
+[105.040 --> 107.040]  we would say, just shut up and look something.
+[109.680 --> 110.320]  Like,
+[110.320 --> 111.520]  I'm holding it.
+[114.560 --> 116.000]  Now I always wanted you to come here.
+[116.160 --> 117.120]  You know, when you're a child,
+[117.120 --> 118.320]  literally, you're a school.
+[118.320 --> 120.080]  You read a lot of British literature.
+[120.800 --> 122.000]  A lot of British literature.
+[122.000 --> 123.600]  You read a fancestan,
+[124.800 --> 125.440]  Dracula,
+[129.920 --> 131.040]  picture of Dorengry,
+[132.080 --> 133.440]  Dother Jenga, Mr. I,
+[133.440 --> 134.880]  how creepy stories.
+[135.440 --> 136.160]  Very scary,
+[136.160 --> 136.960]  bodies natural,
+[136.960 --> 138.480]  some vampires,
+[138.480 --> 139.280]  and it's strange.
+[139.840 --> 140.560]  And well,
+[140.560 --> 143.440]  I was so scared because Mrs. Johnson once said,
+[143.440 --> 145.440]  this year, the school trip would be in London.
+[145.520 --> 146.960]  I said, no, no, I don't want to go there.
+[148.960 --> 149.600]  Why?
+[149.600 --> 151.280]  I don't want to be in a fun vibe.
+[152.160 --> 152.560]  She said,
+[152.560 --> 154.320]  it's 90, he's five.
+[154.320 --> 156.320]  And you really think that there's someone
+[156.320 --> 158.720]  in London who sucks blood from other people?
+[158.720 --> 160.240]  I said, yeah, it's not gonna touch you.
+[162.000 --> 163.280]  It was my best show.
+[167.280 --> 168.480]  You want to do it for me?
+[168.480 --> 169.200]  Yeah, when you're up.
+[169.200 --> 169.920]  Yeah, that's yours.
+[171.520 --> 173.760]  And then you'll be in London, green.
+[176.240 --> 177.040]  I'm not being...
+[179.040 --> 179.760]  All people.
+[180.960 --> 181.600]  And then the boys.
+[183.360 --> 184.160]  And then what you said,
+[185.360 --> 186.800]  was hard time when I was a school,
+[186.800 --> 189.360]  because I was very small with big ears.
+[191.360 --> 192.800]  And all my kids are really...
+[192.800 --> 194.320]  So everybody made fun of me,
+[194.320 --> 194.960]  big ears,
+[194.960 --> 195.920]  they call me dumber.
+[197.360 --> 198.560]  Flying elephant.
+[198.560 --> 200.320]  Every time I was so disappointed,
+[200.320 --> 201.280]  then I flew away.
+[201.840 --> 203.840]  I'm not a problem.
+[203.840 --> 205.600]  I'm a little show, I'm not a problem.
+[207.680 --> 208.480]  And I moved here,
+[208.480 --> 211.600]  and here, the first question that comedians asked me
+[211.600 --> 212.000]  is,
+[212.640 --> 214.320]  how is the comedy seen in me like?
+[214.320 --> 215.680]  How is your walk in?
+[215.680 --> 217.120]  I think it's a stupid question,
+[217.120 --> 218.080]  because if I'm here,
+[221.120 --> 222.480]  it's something from your food.
+[224.320 --> 225.600]  It's something from your well.
+[226.880 --> 227.520]  Suffering.
+[228.320 --> 231.360]  I'm having a lot of money in a foreign land,
+[231.360 --> 232.480]  with a foreign country,
+[232.480 --> 236.080]  I have 200 pounds every week to share the flat with a guy
+[236.080 --> 238.400]  who speaks it in a language that I don't understand.
+[239.520 --> 241.040]  Because he's from C city.
+[241.040 --> 242.240]  You know what I mean?
+[242.240 --> 243.200]  I mean,
+[243.200 --> 245.200]  I'm just sitting here and sharing the world.
+[246.400 --> 247.360]  It's a crap.
+[247.360 --> 248.240]  It's a crap.
+[248.240 --> 248.880]  It's a...
+[248.880 --> 250.240]  You know, you don't make money.
+[250.240 --> 251.200]  Not money is zero one,
+[251.200 --> 253.920]  because you know, I've been doing this job for 10 years now.
+[253.920 --> 255.040]  I did radio shows in Italy,
+[255.040 --> 256.400]  television shows.
+[256.560 --> 257.840]  And I have been called
+[257.840 --> 259.120]  fucking Best Pa.
+[259.120 --> 260.720]  The same old fucking Best Pa.
+[260.720 --> 262.560]  I don't tell money who changed the best one.
+[263.840 --> 265.600]  It's a hard job,
+[265.600 --> 267.760]  you know, in a lot of frustration in Somnia,
+[267.760 --> 268.800]  gastritis.
+[268.800 --> 270.160]  I can use that.
+[270.160 --> 271.600]  If you have Panda,
+[271.600 --> 272.800]  this is something I've asked you.
+[272.800 --> 273.280]  You know,
+[273.280 --> 274.640]  if you have Panda,
+[274.640 --> 276.240]  it means that I've got the best Pa because
+[276.240 --> 277.360]  they find it like the
+[277.360 --> 279.280]  the Dolce Vita.
+[279.280 --> 280.640]  Oh, that's...
+[280.640 --> 282.000]  Oh!
+[282.000 --> 283.680]  I have a Best Pa because I don't tell money
+[283.680 --> 284.320]  to buy a beer,
+[284.320 --> 286.000]  but with a proper number of wheels.
+[287.200 --> 288.960]  That's why I do beer.
+[288.960 --> 290.400]  I did my job in Italy,
+[290.400 --> 291.600]  I left my house in Rome,
+[291.600 --> 293.200]  I broke up with my girlfriend,
+[293.200 --> 295.120]  and it was my personal
+[295.120 --> 297.120]  Brexit from my parents.
+[297.120 --> 299.120]  So I decided very well.
+[299.120 --> 301.120]  I didn't do a referendum.
+[301.120 --> 307.120]  I just got drunk and made a decision.
+[307.120 --> 309.120]  I just had to give it a percent of him.
+[310.080 --> 311.920]  I'm sorry, I moved out of the way.
+[311.920 --> 313.280]  I know that we were very clear
+[313.280 --> 314.880]  two years ago about the posibino
+[314.880 --> 316.720]  in people like me and his country,
+[316.720 --> 317.920]  but ironically,
+[317.920 --> 319.120]  because of that referendum,
+[319.120 --> 320.320]  the pound is very weak.
+[320.320 --> 321.520]  So for the first time in my life,
+[321.520 --> 323.520]  I was able to fought the tree.
+[323.520 --> 325.520]  But...
+[325.520 --> 327.520]  Thanks for that match.
+[327.520 --> 329.520]  I really appreciate it.
+[329.520 --> 331.520]  I'm so happy.
+[331.520 --> 333.520]  I'm so happy.
+[333.520 --> 335.520]  I'm so happy.
+[335.520 --> 337.520]  I'm so happy.
+[337.520 --> 339.520]  Cheers.
+[339.520 --> 341.520]  Not just my strategy.
+[341.520 --> 343.520]  I'm just a few people
+[343.520 --> 345.520]  to the UK since 2000,
+[345.520 --> 347.520]  and it's just a good thing.
+[347.520 --> 349.520]  So you like it, I hate it, I hate it.
+[349.520 --> 350.720]  This is...
+[350.720 --> 351.920]  No, it's just a good thing for me.
+[351.920 --> 353.920]  I like it a lot, but I don't like you.
+[353.920 --> 356.720]  If you think about it,
+[356.720 --> 357.920]  everywhere you go,
+[357.920 --> 359.520]  the world is wonderful,
+[359.520 --> 360.720]  the people say,
+[360.720 --> 362.320]  everywhere,
+[362.320 --> 364.320]  everywhere you go.
+[364.320 --> 365.120]  You know, I can see you,
+[365.120 --> 366.720]  I'm wrong, my city.
+[366.720 --> 368.720]  I can see you because you like Italy,
+[368.720 --> 370.320]  you don't like Italians.
+[370.320 --> 372.320]  It's an awkward situation.
+[372.320 --> 375.520]  You know, it's like being in a big orgy
+[375.520 --> 377.520]  with your parents.
+[377.520 --> 380.720]  You're not where you are,
+[380.720 --> 382.720]  but you go like me.
+[382.720 --> 385.520]  And I can do this joking Italy
+[385.520 --> 387.520]  because I actually do parties.
+[389.520 --> 391.520]  Parents.
+[391.520 --> 393.520]  And Westwood.
+[394.320 --> 397.120]  I love to look at things about my country.
+[397.120 --> 399.120]  You don't know anything about me.
+[399.120 --> 401.120]  Especially Americans.
+[401.120 --> 405.120]  You know, Americans don't know anything about us.
+[405.120 --> 407.920]  They're not so good in general.
+[407.920 --> 409.920]  How do you like us here?
+[409.920 --> 413.120]  I'm surprised.
+[413.120 --> 417.120]  How did you find the home?
+[417.120 --> 419.120]  You can believe in them.
+[419.120 --> 421.520]  You know, I am a friendly Washington DC
+[421.520 --> 423.120]  who believes because of me
+[423.120 --> 425.920]  that he needs other people to have cats.
+[425.920 --> 427.520]  He's been walking along with the ones that have
+[427.520 --> 429.520]  the run, run, run, run.
+[429.520 --> 431.920]  And I look for Chesco, it's just a cat.
+[431.920 --> 433.120]  He's on that cat and he goes,
+[433.120 --> 435.120]  oh no, no.
+[435.120 --> 437.120]  It's a little higher.
+[447.120 --> 449.920]  I wasn't such Maria once
+[449.920 --> 451.920]  playing comedy.
+[451.920 --> 454.720]  And today is a very important day for South Korea.
+[454.720 --> 456.720]  We must get going down together.
+[456.720 --> 458.320]  And as you know.
+[458.320 --> 460.720]  And you know, at that time,
+[460.720 --> 462.320]  wasn't because they didn't speak English.
+[462.320 --> 463.920]  I was in South Korea, they didn't speak English.
+[463.920 --> 466.720]  So can you imagine me to extend that to English?
+[466.720 --> 468.720]  This English.
+[468.720 --> 471.520]  Very English, speaking countries.
+[471.520 --> 473.120]  A lot of confusion.
+[473.120 --> 473.920]  First joke.
+[473.920 --> 476.320]  I wanted to make a joke about South Korea.
+[476.320 --> 478.720]  For Wento's age, they didn't even get the joke.
+[478.720 --> 479.920]  Wento's age and I say,
+[479.920 --> 483.920]  I'm very happy to be here in one of the best Korea's
+[483.920 --> 485.920]  in the world.
+[485.920 --> 487.920]  Which is a good joke.
+[487.920 --> 489.920]  Everything I do.
+[489.920 --> 493.920]  So I have to explain the joke.
+[493.920 --> 496.920]  I wanted to say that I really like South Korea.
+[496.920 --> 497.920]  I don't like North Korea.
+[497.920 --> 498.920]  South Korea, good.
+[498.920 --> 500.920]  North Korea, good.
+[500.920 --> 502.920]  South Korea, good.
+[502.920 --> 504.920]  North Korea.
+[504.920 --> 506.920]  Good, North Korea.
+[507.920 --> 510.920]  For a moment that was always in the robbery.
+[510.920 --> 514.920]  I just had to give you the right of a day.
+[514.920 --> 516.920]  Or a right of a free-throwed speech.
+[516.920 --> 518.920]  No.
+[518.920 --> 520.920]  No.
+[520.920 --> 522.920]  It was very good.
+[522.920 --> 526.920]  The biggest problem is that I'm lonely.
+[526.920 --> 528.920]  I'm fucking sad.
+[528.920 --> 530.920]  I'm sad.
+[530.920 --> 534.920]  Because you know, you're not very open as a people.
+[535.920 --> 536.920]  You're shy.
+[536.920 --> 539.920]  I went on Tinder.
+[539.920 --> 541.920]  I didn't know anything interesting.
+[541.920 --> 544.920]  We saw that any woman on Tinder says the same thing.
+[544.920 --> 546.920]  She said, no one has sex.
+[546.920 --> 547.920]  No.
+[547.920 --> 548.920]  Okay.
+[548.920 --> 551.920]  What?
+[551.920 --> 555.920]  One nice thing is not to divorce case and actress.
+[555.920 --> 557.920]  Because I'm not looking for sex.
+[557.920 --> 560.920]  I'm looking for a woman to share my depression.
+[560.920 --> 563.920]  I'm looking to share my negative.
+[563.920 --> 566.920]  I want to destroy your nant.
+[566.920 --> 568.920]  I want to talk about my ex-girlfriend.
+[568.920 --> 571.920]  I want to talk about the brothers that I had with my mother.
+[571.920 --> 572.920]  Okay.
+[572.920 --> 574.920]  I want to talk about the fact that I'm the best comedian in the world.
+[574.920 --> 577.920]  But audiences have not ready.
+[577.920 --> 581.920]  And after two hours of being complaining about everything,
+[581.920 --> 584.920]  you will ask for a one-night-self.
+[584.920 --> 588.920]  You will say, I'm shy, so we give you a blowjob right here right now.
+[588.920 --> 591.920]  We're distracting nambos.
+[591.920 --> 594.920]  And we can stop talking about your miserable childhood.
+[594.920 --> 598.920]  So the worst case scenario is not the one they said.
+[598.920 --> 600.920]  The worst case scenario is me.
+[600.920 --> 601.920]  My name is Francesco Legano.
+[601.920 --> 602.920]  Thank you.
+[602.920 --> 603.920]  Thank you.
+[603.920 --> 604.920]  Thank you.
+[604.920 --> 605.920]  Thank you.
+[605.920 --> 606.920]  Thank you.
+[606.920 --> 607.920]  Thank you.
+[607.920 --> 608.920]  Thank you.
+[608.920 --> 609.920]  Thank you.
+[609.920 --> 610.920]  Thank you.
+[610.920 --> 611.920]  Thank you.
+[611.920 --> 612.920]  Thank you.

transcript/comedy_vGtpMfBcYOs.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  We always try to...
+[2.000 --> 5.000]  I meant, my worst moment I met, Clyde Davis.
+[5.000 --> 6.000]  And so I'll make this quick.
+[6.000 --> 7.000]  I saw him again at a big table.
+[7.000 --> 8.000]  He's a hurry, hurry, hurry.
+[8.000 --> 10.000]  Yeah, he was at a table and he was sitting there
+[10.000 --> 11.000]  and he'd go, I should say, hi, it's Clyde Davis.
+[11.000 --> 13.000]  So I went over to his big table with people
+[13.000 --> 15.000]  and I went over and I go, uh, hi, Clyde, I'm Jimmy Fountain.
+[15.000 --> 20.000]  And he goes, uh, so I go, so I'm going to kiss him on the cheek.
+[20.000 --> 24.000]  So I went around...
+[24.000 --> 29.000]  Well, I go, and his...
+[29.000 --> 32.000]  He's like, he couldn't hear what you were saying.
+[32.000 --> 38.000]  I was like, oh, so sorry.
+[38.000 --> 41.000]  I can't do it. Never met him. Never met him.
+[41.000 --> 43.000]  Never talked to him ever again.

transcript/comedy_wROjY3NpSvo.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,162 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  Robert Downey Jr. gets mad at Jimmy Kimmel.
+[2.000 --> 4.000]  All of a sudden you're the guest. It is a little bit odd.
+[4.000 --> 8.000]  We start to uncover some hidden drama between Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr.
+[8.000 --> 12.000]  And Jimmy Kimmel gets in trouble for asking an inappropriate question.
+[12.000 --> 14.000]  On this episode of Body Lane Winch Drama.
+[14.000 --> 16.000]  I'm pretty important in that show.
+[16.000 --> 20.000]  The show starts off normally, but then it gets very inappropriate very quickly.
+[20.000 --> 22.000]  That's the name of the brand? That's right.
+[22.000 --> 24.000]  Okay. It's like retro but without the art.
+[24.000 --> 26.000]  You've never heard of that show.
+[26.000 --> 28.000]  I'm pretty important in that show.
+[28.000 --> 32.000]  You have to look in. Later on we'll look. You'll go through my pants and we'll see what I'm wearing.
+[32.000 --> 34.000]  Hey, you had the big premiere right across the street.
+[34.000 --> 40.000]  Robert Downey Jr. and the audience are shocked at this very crude attempt to build sexual appeal.
+[40.000 --> 44.000]  Hey, you had the big premiere right across the street last night.
+[44.000 --> 46.000]  Jimmy Kimmel tries to change his subject.
+[46.000 --> 48.000]  But Robert Downey Jr. can't seem to forget about what Jimmy just said.
+[48.000 --> 50.000]  And you can see it in the way he's carrying himself.
+[50.000 --> 52.000]  More and more every time. You do.
+[52.000 --> 56.000]  Jimmy Kimmel saying that was very inappropriate.
+[56.000 --> 58.000]  Robert decides to do something about it.
+[58.000 --> 60.000]  He has three options that he can go with.
+[60.000 --> 62.000]  Option number one. Play along.
+[62.000 --> 64.000]  Option number two. Let it go.
+[64.000 --> 66.000]  Option number three.
+[66.000 --> 68.000]  Fight fire with fire.
+[68.000 --> 70.000]  He decides to go with option number three.
+[70.000 --> 72.000]  Fighting fire with fire.
+[72.000 --> 74.000]  Now Robert starts to brand his own sex appeal.
+[74.000 --> 76.000]  Each time it gets better.
+[76.000 --> 78.000]  Here's the problem.
+[78.000 --> 80.000]  You get to see Tony when he was really young.
+[80.000 --> 82.000]  Uh-huh.
+[82.000 --> 84.000]  And then for the rest of the movie it's me.
+[84.000 --> 86.000]  I kept saying where's that young guy?
+[86.000 --> 88.000]  Yeah, that was interesting.
+[88.000 --> 92.000]  I think in the follow up films I might just have him play me as 24.
+[92.000 --> 94.000]  Well, he's hot.
+[94.000 --> 98.000]  Hey, listen everybody was pretty excited for sure.
+[98.000 --> 100.000]  And in the middle he starts to check Jimmy to see his reaction.
+[100.000 --> 104.000]  And looking at Robert's body language he knows that he did the right thing calling Jimmy Kimmel out.
+[104.000 --> 106.000]  Yeah, it was hot.
+[106.000 --> 110.000]  Hey, listen everybody was pretty excited for sure.
+[110.000 --> 112.000]  And Robert just goes straight into it.
+[112.000 --> 114.000]  Little bit. I got a little charge.
+[114.000 --> 116.000]  What is this about you and I in your pants?
+[116.000 --> 118.000]  Where are you coming on to me?
+[118.000 --> 120.000]  I just got you.
+[120.000 --> 122.000]  Yeah, I usually wait for him to step outside.
+[122.000 --> 124.000]  Is that what you want?
+[124.000 --> 126.000]  I'm sorry, I'm back.
+[126.000 --> 128.000]  Yeah, you're back. Okay, good.
+[128.000 --> 130.000]  Jimmy Kimmel purses his lips because he knows Robert is putting him in his place.
+[130.000 --> 132.000]  But by using the power of his position as a talk show host
+[132.000 --> 134.000]  he decides to get revenge on Robert Dany Jr.
+[134.000 --> 138.000]  by mentioning something personal that happened at the premiere of Captain America Civil War.
+[138.000 --> 140.000]  Here I go. Okay, good.
+[140.000 --> 144.000]  So who had better seats? You or the Eccursed Captain America?
+[144.000 --> 146.000]  Did he show up? He was that.
+[146.000 --> 150.000]  Not only that, he told me he was bringing something patriots with him.
+[150.000 --> 152.000]  That hits Robert in his gut.
+[152.000 --> 154.000]  As Chris Evans gets mentioned.
+[154.000 --> 158.000]  First Robert's eyes are tipped.
+[158.000 --> 160.000]  Or the Eccursed Captain America.
+[160.000 --> 164.000]  He was up. He was up. He was up. He was bringing some of the New England patriots with him.
+[164.000 --> 166.000]  Yeah.
+[166.000 --> 170.000]  And then secondly, a nervous smile appears once the patriots are mentioned.
+[170.000 --> 174.000]  And it just so happens that Captain America loves the New England patriots.
+[174.000 --> 178.000]  Enough to invite them to the premiere of Captain America Civil War.
+[178.000 --> 182.000]  I've done things for me and so I'm inviting a few patriots players.
+[182.000 --> 184.000]  Oh.
+[184.000 --> 188.000]  Robert Dany Jr.'s pace because Chris Evans may have ditched Robert
+[188.000 --> 190.000]  for the New England Patriots.
+[190.000 --> 192.000]  Right.
+[192.000 --> 194.000]  I love Chris, I love Captain America.
+[194.000 --> 196.000]  Before the premieres on nervous and we're supposed to drive in the outies,
+[196.000 --> 198.000]  he's like, bro, I don't know.
+[198.000 --> 200.000]  Should you go first or I should go first?
+[200.000 --> 202.000]  I was like, man up, dude, we gotta go to this premiere together.
+[202.000 --> 204.000]  What is he, what?
+[204.000 --> 206.000]  Jimmy Kimmel sees that Robert's in distress thinking about Chris Evans.
+[206.000 --> 210.000]  So Jimmy Kimmel pushes the New England Patriots even more to piss him off.
+[210.000 --> 212.000]  What is he, what is he worrying about?
+[212.000 --> 214.000]  Do you know?
+[214.000 --> 216.000]  Chris Evans has been known to be very nervous around the New England Patriots.
+[216.000 --> 222.000]  You see him, you're like, man, you are the reason that patriots get to say what we get to say to anyone who doesn't like us.
+[222.000 --> 226.000]  He's like I said, if you're actually like a little kid.
+[226.000 --> 228.000]  I'm like, I don't know.
+[228.000 --> 230.000]  He just realized, oh, this is exciting.
+[230.000 --> 232.000]  This is a big deal.
+[232.000 --> 234.000]  I think last night he suddenly all of a sudden realized it was exciting.
+[234.000 --> 240.000]  He did seem excited about bringing the patriots, which is kind of a funny thing to do.
+[240.000 --> 242.000]  Yeah, like patriots, whatever, I'm telling the same thing.
+[242.000 --> 244.000]  You didn't care at all.
+[244.000 --> 246.000]  Robert is reactive to this.
+[246.000 --> 248.000]  Jimmy starts to get aggressive and goes for another emotional jab.
+[248.000 --> 254.000]  By mentioning how Chris Evans wouldn't even be Captain America, it wasn't for Robert in the first place.
+[254.000 --> 258.000]  You had to convince Chris to take the role of Captain America.
+[258.000 --> 260.000]  Was that difficult to talk him into that?
+[260.000 --> 262.000]  You know this great in hindsight, I get to take...
+[262.000 --> 266.000]  And for some reason, Robert is stressed out about this question as we can see through the gope.
+[266.000 --> 270.000]  Was that difficult to talk him into that?
+[270.000 --> 272.000]  You know this great in hindsight, I get to take credit for everything.
+[272.000 --> 274.000]  There's no Marvel Cinematic Universe without me.
+[274.000 --> 276.000]  Yeah, I did everything.
+[276.000 --> 278.000]  It's like you're like...
+[278.000 --> 284.000]  And the motion of his head is telling us that his brain is withholding his true emotions from us.
+[284.000 --> 288.000]  As he breathes out what he actually feels.
+[288.000 --> 290.000]  Marvel Cinematic Universe without me.
+[290.000 --> 292.000]  Yeah, I did everything.
+[292.000 --> 294.000]  It's like you're like...
+[294.000 --> 298.000]  You're indoctrinating people into a cult.
+[298.000 --> 300.000]  He's the one that said it though.
+[300.000 --> 302.000]  He's the one that said it though. He made this up.
+[302.000 --> 304.000]  I don't want to say he made it up.
+[304.000 --> 306.000]  Do you think I just call people on the phone and say, listen, you're going to do this movie.
+[306.000 --> 310.000]  Robert is saying it's not true, but later on in the interview, he says this.
+[310.000 --> 316.000]  Robert says it is not exactly true, that Robert convinced him over the telephone to take the part.
+[316.000 --> 318.000]  All right, I did. You did tell him to take the part.
+[318.000 --> 320.000]  I don't like agreeing with that guy every time he says it.
+[320.000 --> 324.000]  Robert lied to Jimmy Kimmel to get him off his back and now he's out enough.
+[324.000 --> 326.000]  So he cuts off the sentence with the very short answer.
+[326.000 --> 328.000]  Forcing Jimmy Kimmel to change the subject.
+[328.000 --> 330.000]  What am I like? I don't know what you're up to.
+[330.000 --> 332.000]  You're right.
+[332.000 --> 338.000]  Well, Spider-Man is in this movie, which I thought was really fantastic.
+[338.000 --> 342.000]  And it's exciting for the Spider-Man movie.
+[342.000 --> 344.000]  Now all of a sudden Jimmy Kimmel starts to get even more personal.
+[344.000 --> 346.000]  I take that character to any start pretty seriously.
+[346.000 --> 352.000]  Because you send me a photograph and of your daughter.
+[352.000 --> 354.000]  Is it okay if I share that photograph?
+[354.000 --> 358.000]  Jimmy Kimmel has been weird the entire interview.
+[358.000 --> 364.000]  And now that the family is involved, Robert Downey Jr. starts to show some concern of what Jimmy might say next.
+[364.000 --> 368.000]  I share that photograph because, oh, well, I guess it's okay.
+[368.000 --> 370.000]  Clearly she's made a choice.
+[370.000 --> 372.000]  I know we're almost the same age, but would you?
+[372.000 --> 374.000]  Is there any chance you would adopt me?
+[374.000 --> 378.000]  Because I'd love to be a part of the Downey Jr. family.
+[378.000 --> 380.000]  That's a very creepy thing to say to a guest.
+[380.000 --> 382.000]  And Robert tries to point it out in a very cryptic way.
+[382.000 --> 384.000]  Listen to the last word that he uses.
+[384.000 --> 386.000]  You know, honestly Jimmy, you know, I watch your show.
+[386.000 --> 390.000]  It's a weird, I'm here on your show, but I like watch the show.
+[390.000 --> 392.000]  Oh, thank you.
+[392.000 --> 396.000]  Imagine being me, and then you're just sitting here, and now all of a sudden you're the guest.
+[396.000 --> 398.000]  It is a little bit odd.
+[398.000 --> 400.000]  And will you be at all?
+[400.000 --> 402.000]  Jimmy didn't get the message, and Robert goes straight for the point.
+[402.000 --> 404.000]  From watching the show while you're on the show.
+[404.000 --> 406.000]  You just asked me to adopt you, correct?
+[406.000 --> 408.000]  I did, yeah.
+[408.000 --> 410.000]  And I think we should say hi to you at home, if you're at home.
+[410.000 --> 412.000]  If you're at home, if you're at home.
+[412.000 --> 414.000]  Hi Robert.
+[414.000 --> 416.000]  Jimmy Kimmel starts to show some purse lips.
+[416.000 --> 418.000]  And Robert Downey Jr. puts up with it like a professional.
+[418.000 --> 420.000]  And I think we should say hi to you at home.
+[420.000 --> 422.000]  If you're at home.
+[422.000 --> 424.000]  Hi Robert.
+[424.000 --> 426.000]  I'd love it if you subscribed, but if not, that is totally cool too.
+[426.000 --> 428.000]  My name is Tyler Match.
+[428.000 --> 430.000]  And thank you for watching Body Language Drama.

transcript/comedy_zO-cWNQa90g.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,62 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  What is this?
+[2.000 --> 5.000]  Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit.
+[5.000 --> 7.000]  Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit?
+[7.000 --> 9.000]  What are you turning into?
+[9.000 --> 11.000]  A healthy person.
+[11.000 --> 14.000]  Ow, ow, you swarming me!
+[14.000 --> 15.000]  Oh, sorry.
+[15.000 --> 18.000]  What are those things?
+[20.000 --> 23.000]  George, have you seen Morgan?
+[23.000 --> 24.000]  No.
+[24.000 --> 26.000]  He's been coming in later and later.
+[26.000 --> 27.000]  Is there something wrong?
+[27.000 --> 29.000]  No, not that I know of.
+[30.000 --> 32.000]  Oh, no.
+[32.000 --> 34.000]  Oh, make sure he signs this.
+[34.000 --> 37.000]  Oh, look, George, if there's a problem with Morgan, you can tell me.
+[37.000 --> 38.000]  Morgan knows.
+[38.000 --> 40.000]  He's doing a great job.
+[40.000 --> 42.000]  Hand a stamp.
+[44.000 --> 46.000]  What's your problem?
+[46.000 --> 49.000]  No problem here.
+[49.000 --> 52.000]  You keep winking at me. That's really obnoxious.
+[52.000 --> 53.000]  I had no idea.
+[53.000 --> 56.000]  Right there! Right there! You just did it again.
+[56.000 --> 60.000]  Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's from that grapefruit that Jerry squirted at me.
+[60.000 --> 61.000]  Oh, your eyes still hurt?
+[61.000 --> 65.000]  Yeah, yeah. You must have squirted a piece of pulp in it too.
+[65.000 --> 67.000]  Pop couldn't make it across the table.
+[67.000 --> 69.000]  Pop can move, baby!
+[69.000 --> 71.000]  Why can't you eat a real breakfast?
+[71.000 --> 74.000]  Hey, I eat healthy. If I have to take out an eye, that's the brakes.
+[74.000 --> 76.000]  Wait a minute.
+[76.000 --> 78.000]  I must have been winking down at the office.
+[78.000 --> 81.000]  That's why Mr. Wilhelm was acting so mysterious.
+[81.000 --> 85.000]  What do you think you were flirting with him?
+[85.000 --> 88.000]  No. He thought I was hiding something about Morgan.
+[88.000 --> 91.000]  Is that the lovely Mrs. Morgan?
+[91.000 --> 94.000]  By the way, you got that birthday card?
+[94.000 --> 95.000]  Birthday card?
+[95.000 --> 97.000]  Mr. Steinbrenner's birthday card?
+[97.000 --> 99.000]  Wilhelm said you'd have it for me to sign?
+[99.000 --> 103.000]  Oh, yeah. I have that for you right after lunch.
+[103.000 --> 105.000]  Fine. I'll be back after my massage.
+[105.000 --> 107.000]  Of course, your massage.
+[107.000 --> 109.000]  Enjoy your massage.
+[116.000 --> 118.000]  Hey, Mr. Morgan, how was your massage?
+[118.000 --> 120.000]  I had to cancel it.
+[120.000 --> 124.000]  For some reason, my wife got it into her head that it was more than just a massage.
+[124.000 --> 125.000]  Really?
+[125.000 --> 128.000]  Yeah, anyway, we got it. This big fight at lunch looks like tonight obviously even on the couching.
+[128.000 --> 131.000]  Hey, listen, don't over sleep. You can't afford to be late again.
+[131.000 --> 135.000]  I know. Somebody around here has been giving Wilhelm the impression that I've been slacken off.
+[135.000 --> 139.000]  Hey, you should try my friend's wake-up service.
+[139.000 --> 141.000]  She's swasties by this thing, huh?
+[141.000 --> 144.000]  Because Stan's there. You may be my only friend around here.
+[144.000 --> 147.000]  Are you seeing Morgan? He's not here? No, he's lady.
+[147.000 --> 149.000]  That's impossible. I got him a wake-up service.
+[149.000 --> 151.000]  Oh, look, George, you don't have to cover for him anymore.
+[151.000 --> 155.000]  He's going to be gone soon and I'm going to recommend you for his job.
+[155.000 --> 156.000]  Gone.
+[156.000 --> 159.000]  It sounds like all that winking got you a promotion.
+[159.000 --> 161.000]  I don't want Morgan's job. He's got a lot of work to do.

transcript/comedy_zQU7y2CogH4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  Oh!
+[2.000 --> 4.000]  Stop!
+[4.000 --> 6.000]  Stephanie! Hey! Hey!
+[6.000 --> 7.000]  How's it going?
+[7.000 --> 8.000]  You guys doing here?
+[8.000 --> 10.000]  Oh, we're doing a weekend to Hewang.
+[10.000 --> 12.000]  Ted's father owns a little piece of property down there.
+[12.000 --> 14.000]  I'm under Nakers. This is a little hunn.
+[14.000 --> 16.000]  Not into Hewang anyway.
+[18.000 --> 20.000]  Hey, I saw you on TV.
+[20.000 --> 22.000]  Amazing, Carl.
+[22.000 --> 24.000]  It's just a little like the need of saving.
+[24.000 --> 25.000]  No big deal.
+[25.000 --> 27.000]  So we're headed.
+[27.000 --> 28.000]  I mean, my girlfriend here.
+[28.000 --> 29.000]  We don't know where we're going.
+[29.000 --> 30.000]  Really?
+[30.000 --> 31.000]  Yeah, we're just going to pick up place.
+[31.000 --> 32.000]  Hmm.
+[32.000 --> 34.000]  Kind of an enemy, an enemy, an enemy, an enemy thing.
+[34.000 --> 35.000]  You've said fresh.
+[35.000 --> 36.000]  I'll see you guys.
+[36.000 --> 38.000]  Huh.
+[38.000 --> 40.000]  That sounds like a lot of fun.
+[40.000 --> 41.000]  Can you imagine?
+[41.000 --> 42.000]  No.

transcript/interview_0siE31sqz0Q.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,135 @@
+[0.000 --> 3.440]  When you invest three minutes in the story telling like that, all of a sudden,
+[3.440 --> 6.080]  they're not interviewing you as a potential candidate.
+[6.080 --> 7.600]  They're interviewing you now as a friend.
+[7.600 --> 13.360]  I find that the people who often get shortlisted for jobs and job opportunities
+[13.360 --> 14.960]  are the ones who've just prepared.
+[14.960 --> 16.640]  And you just think they're lucky?
+[16.640 --> 17.600]  No, it's not luck.
+[17.600 --> 22.000]  Well, it kind of is luck if you define luck as being preparation meeting opportunity.
+[22.000 --> 23.040]  They've just prepared.
+[23.040 --> 24.080]  The opportunity came along.
+[24.080 --> 25.520]  They did the job interview.
+[25.520 --> 27.200]  And because of the preparation,
+[27.200 --> 28.080]  they got the opportunity.
+[28.080 --> 28.800]  They seem lucky.
+[28.880 --> 29.840]  Nope, they'll just prepare.
+[29.840 --> 32.640]  I've got a couple of friends in the recruiting space here in Australia.
+[32.640 --> 34.800]  And I remember messaging one of them named Jared.
+[34.800 --> 38.320]  And I said, Jared, what are the most common questions that are asked
+[38.320 --> 40.080]  drawing a job interview?
+[40.080 --> 42.080]  So I want to give you the top 10 lists that he gave me.
+[42.080 --> 42.960]  All right, you ready?
+[42.960 --> 44.800]  This is the top 10 list of questions.
+[44.800 --> 46.320]  The first one, inevitably.
+[47.280 --> 49.520]  And you must be prepared for this question.
+[49.520 --> 52.240]  Whereas most people, they just go into the interview and go,
+[52.240 --> 53.200]  I'm just going to wing it.
+[54.160 --> 55.120]  I'll think in the moment.
+[56.080 --> 58.880]  And, you know, just, just, right.
+[59.840 --> 63.760]  And then they fail at the first question that they know is already going to be asked.
+[63.760 --> 64.880]  And the first question is,
+[66.160 --> 69.440]  So then, tell us a little bit about yourself before we begin.
+[69.440 --> 71.040]  That's the first question they always ask.
+[71.760 --> 72.560]  Tell us about yourself.
+[73.120 --> 75.680]  Make sure you've got something prepared for that, right?
+[75.680 --> 76.480]  So I'll give you the 10.
+[76.480 --> 77.360]  I'll fire them off at you.
+[77.360 --> 79.120]  The first one is, tell us about yourself.
+[79.360 --> 80.480]  Second one, classic.
+[81.120 --> 83.120]  So tell us a bit about your strength and weaknesses.
+[83.760 --> 84.080]  Next.
+[85.600 --> 86.720]  Why do you want to work here?
+[88.720 --> 90.080]  Where do you see yourself in five years?
+[92.560 --> 93.680]  Why should we hire you?
+[95.680 --> 99.840]  Tell us about a challenge or conflict you faced at work and how you dealt with it.
+[101.840 --> 102.640]  Seven.
+[102.640 --> 104.640]  What is your greatest professional achievement?
+[105.840 --> 106.160]  Eight.
+[107.200 --> 109.360]  Tell us why are you leaving your current job?
+[110.880 --> 111.200]  Nine.
+[112.880 --> 114.320]  How do you handle stress and pressure?
+[116.080 --> 116.400]  10.
+[117.600 --> 119.040]  Classic one they always end on.
+[119.040 --> 120.720]  So, then, do you have any questions for us?
+[121.760 --> 123.520]  We know all of us.
+[124.240 --> 126.320]  We know that these are the most common questions.
+[127.040 --> 128.080]  Yet we don't prepare.
+[128.400 --> 129.520]  Do you know what most people do here?
+[130.080 --> 132.800]  Most people give descriptive phrases about themselves.
+[133.360 --> 134.320]  Adjectives.
+[134.320 --> 136.400]  They'll say things like, oh, yeah, sure.
+[137.200 --> 139.280]  My values are integrity.
+[140.400 --> 141.040]  Honesty.
+[141.760 --> 142.560]  Punctuality.
+[143.200 --> 147.200]  Moeantly weakness is that I'm a perfectionist and I do things really well.
+[147.920 --> 148.480]  Right?
+[148.480 --> 150.560]  No, connect with people.
+[150.560 --> 151.920]  This is where you build rapport.
+[151.920 --> 155.760]  So, if you want to build rapport, let's say for example, I was applying and we'll do some improv here.
+[156.000 --> 160.000]  Let's say example I was applying for, I don't know, head of innovation at Apple was something.
+[160.640 --> 163.280]  Clearly, I'm an Apple fan, massive Apple fan, Apple nerd.
+[163.280 --> 165.120]  One day, hopefully they'll bring me in.
+[165.120 --> 167.920]  So, say that I'm interviewing, they go, so if you didn't tell us a little bit about yourself,
+[168.960 --> 172.400]  I can use a childhood story and I call these origin stories.
+[172.960 --> 178.560]  I think using an origin story when they say, tell us a little bit about yourself is extremely powerful
+[178.560 --> 181.200]  because it shows them who you are, it builds rapport.
+[181.840 --> 186.240]  And if you can link that story into the position that you're applying for,
+[187.520 --> 188.640]  match made in heaven.
+[188.640 --> 189.920]  Hello, Vin, welcome to Apple.
+[189.920 --> 191.040]  We can tell you very excited.
+[191.040 --> 195.200]  You haven't been able to stop shaking your leg for the last 15 minutes while you're in the waiting room.
+[195.200 --> 198.240]  But then, tell us, before we begin, tell us a little bit about yourself.
+[198.240 --> 200.080]  Thank you for noticing the leg-shaking thing.
+[200.960 --> 204.960]  Look, if I had to tell you a little bit about me, there's one memory that comes to mind.
+[205.840 --> 208.400]  When I was young, I could ask you this.
+[208.400 --> 211.920]  What do you think a 13-year-old boy wants more than anything?
+[211.920 --> 213.040]  A PlayStation 6?
+[214.000 --> 215.200]  Well, close. Love.
+[215.760 --> 219.120]  It's love and thank you Brad for being so transparent.
+[219.120 --> 222.560]  But I wanted to find love and Brad, I remember asking my dad for advice.
+[222.560 --> 225.360]  And I asked my dad, I said, Dad, I want to find love, what do I do?
+[225.360 --> 229.280]  And you don't want my dad, so to me, my dad says, it looks me dead in the eyes, 13, and he goes,
+[230.240 --> 232.480]  OK, no money, no honey, man.
+[233.600 --> 237.360]  And I thought, damn it, Dad, that's really wise of you. It rhymes like Eminem.
+[237.360 --> 240.000]  So I thought to myself, OK, how am I going to make money as a 13-year-old?
+[240.480 --> 242.000]  And that's when I discovered eBay.
+[242.800 --> 245.200]  And one of the things about me, Brad, is I'm an early adopter.
+[245.200 --> 249.280]  So my friends didn't know what eBay was at the time, it was 1999.
+[249.280 --> 253.120]  So I got into eBay, I borrowed my mom and dad's credit card, borrowed,
+[253.120 --> 256.800]  and I purchased 30 MP3 plays, and they sold them to my friends for double the price.
+[257.760 --> 259.520]  I love entrepreneurship.
+[259.600 --> 263.440]  And as a result of doing that, I made double the amount of money,
+[263.440 --> 266.880]  parents were truly pissed off, but that set me off on a journey.
+[267.680 --> 269.520]  It set me on the journey of entrepreneurship.
+[269.520 --> 272.880]  And as an entrepreneur my entire life, I'm an early adopter.
+[273.520 --> 277.840]  So whether it comes to MP3 plays, whether it comes to the latest AI that's coming out,
+[277.840 --> 280.400]  one of the platforms I've been playing with is Yudio,
+[280.400 --> 284.240]  and Yudio is a wonderful platform that can use AI to create music.
+[284.240 --> 286.560]  Whether it's the Apple Vision Pro, I'm on it.
+[286.800 --> 288.160]  I'm an early adopter.
+[288.240 --> 293.360]  And I share this story about my past with you, because that's why I'm applying for this role.
+[294.160 --> 297.440]  Is I know that for someone in the head of innovation, you need someone that's not just
+[298.720 --> 302.400]  saying the right things and talking about technology.
+[302.400 --> 307.040]  You want someone who's actually an early adopter, who's living and breathing,
+[307.040 --> 308.720]  things that are just coming out.
+[308.720 --> 310.160]  I don't wait until it's cheaper.
+[310.160 --> 312.640]  I don't wait until it's been in the market for three, four years.
+[313.200 --> 315.280]  I'm the first one waiting in line in an Apple Store.
+[316.240 --> 321.120]  And when you release the Apple iPhone 16, you can bet your butt I'm going to be there at 6am.
+[321.920 --> 322.880]  I'm an early adopter.
+[322.880 --> 323.920]  It's why I'm perfect for this role.
+[325.600 --> 328.240]  Again, right, that's me spending about three and a half minutes,
+[328.240 --> 330.160]  three and a half minutes sharing a story.
+[330.160 --> 334.480]  Now there's laughing moments, like, oh, no, no, no, no, that's a good one.
+[334.480 --> 336.320]  I built rapport, there's endorphins,
+[336.320 --> 340.960]  vowing through their body, I've been conversational, we're friends, I ask them questions.
+[340.960 --> 343.680]  The entire interview situation now is relaxed.
+[344.160 --> 347.680]  Again, you know that when your story tell dopamine and dolphins,
+[347.680 --> 349.760]  oxytocin, all these wonderful chemicals.
+[350.400 --> 352.240]  Now the rest of the interview, they're going to treat you like a friend.
+[353.280 --> 356.800]  They're not going to sit there and be like question to question to question to question.
+[357.520 --> 360.720]  No, when you invest three minutes into storytelling like that,
+[361.520 --> 366.160]  all of a sudden, they're not interviewing you as a potential candidate.
+[366.160 --> 367.840]  They're interviewing you now as a friend.
+[367.840 --> 369.920]  So create a wonderful origin story.
+[369.920 --> 373.920]  And this has got to revolutionize the way you do job interviews.

transcript/interview_1sfM-xx7tHI.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+[0.000 --> 5.480]  Alice works at a local department store. She spends most of her day interacting with
+[5.480 --> 9.300]  customers and co-workers. There's a lot of talking involved, but there's also
+[9.300 --> 14.000]  another form of non-verbal communication that's being used just as often.
+[14.000 --> 19.260]  Body language. Body language is the process of communicating through non-verbal
+[19.260 --> 25.000]  signals. It includes things like our posture, facial expressions, gestures, and more.
+[25.000 --> 29.400]  The meetings of these all vary from culture to culture, but we instinctively
+[29.400 --> 34.200]  read body language and interpret it as some expression of moods, feelings, or
+[34.200 --> 40.280]  intentions. So in Alice's case, even before she speaks, she may be communicating
+[40.280 --> 45.120]  all kinds of things to customers. For example, if her arms are crossed and she's
+[45.120 --> 50.320]  avoiding eye contact, customers may not find her to be very approachable.
+[50.320 --> 54.840]  However, Alice could be in a friendly mood, even though her body language
+[54.840 --> 59.740]  suggests otherwise. And this isn't necessarily a conscious choice that she's
+[59.740 --> 65.640]  made. This could just be how she habitually presents herself. But if Alice is
+[65.640 --> 70.960]  aware of these habits, she can work on improving her body language. Changing your
+[70.960 --> 76.080]  habits can be difficult, but if you take time to pause and check in with yourself,
+[76.080 --> 80.280]  you can start to notice them and adjust things to become a better non-verbal
+[80.280 --> 85.360]  communicator. This awareness can also be applied to reading others' body language.
+[85.360 --> 90.880]  Let's say Alice notices that her co-worker is unusually quiet, has his body turned
+[90.880 --> 96.880]  away from her, and is slouched over. She may pick up that he's upset, or that
+[96.880 --> 101.640]  there's an unspoken issue at hand. Depending on Alice's relationship with him,
+[101.640 --> 108.080]  she may want to give him some space, or ask if anything's wrong. Being aware of
+[108.080 --> 112.280]  the various aspects of body language can make all the difference in how people perceive
+[112.280 --> 117.640]  you and how you perceive them. Be aware of how you present yourself and you can say
+[117.640 --> 121.560]  a lot without speaking.

transcript/interview_4jwUXV4QaTw.txt

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+[0.000 --> 5.160]  Nonverbels are anything that communicates but is not a word.
+[5.160 --> 8.500]  The public knows them as body language.
+[8.500 --> 12.600]  How we dress, how we walk, have meaning,
+[12.600 --> 17.800]  and we use that to interpret what's in the mind of the person.
+[17.800 --> 30.200]  My name is Joan Avaro and for 25 years I was a special agent with the FBI.
+[30.200 --> 33.200]  My job was to catch spies.
+[33.200 --> 37.200]  Most of my career I spent within the National Security Division.
+[37.200 --> 42.200]  A lot of it had to do with looking at specific targets and then it was about,
+[42.200 --> 45.800]  how do we get in their heads and how do we neutralize them.
+[45.800 --> 48.800]  Our security is based on nonverbels.
+[48.800 --> 51.200]  We look at the person through the people.
+[51.200 --> 54.700]  We look at who's behind us at the ATM machine.
+[54.700 --> 60.200]  We know from the research that most of us select our mates based on nonverbels.
+[60.200 --> 66.700]  So we may think we're very sophisticated but in fact we are never in a state
+[66.700 --> 69.700]  where we're not transmitting information.
+[69.700 --> 72.700]  There's a lot of myths out there.
+[72.800 --> 78.600]  The ones that stand out is if you cross your arms that it's a blocking behavior.
+[78.600 --> 80.100]  That's just nonsense.
+[80.100 --> 83.300]  Even when you don't like the person that is in front of you,
+[83.300 --> 84.900]  this isn't to block them out.
+[84.900 --> 88.300]  It's actually to self-suit because in essence it's a self-hug.
+[88.300 --> 91.900]  When you're sitting at a movie and you're watching, you're going to cross your arms.
+[91.900 --> 93.400]  You're waiting for somebody.
+[93.400 --> 94.800]  You tend to do this.
+[94.800 --> 99.100]  What's interesting is we do this behavior more in public than in private.
+[99.100 --> 104.000]  The other one that really stands out is as we think about something,
+[104.000 --> 106.200]  we may look in a certain way.
+[106.200 --> 109.700]  As we process the information, we may look in another way.
+[109.700 --> 114.400]  It's certainly not indicative of deception and it really shouldn't be used that way.
+[114.400 --> 117.700]  All we can say is the person is processing the information.
+[117.700 --> 121.700]  The other misconceptions are that if the person clears or throats,
+[121.700 --> 125.200]  touches their nose or covers their mouth, they're lying.
+[125.300 --> 129.000]  We do these behaviors as self-suthers.
+[129.000 --> 134.400]  They're pacifying behaviors scientifically and empirically.
+[134.400 --> 136.600]  There's just no Pinocchio effect.
+[136.600 --> 138.800]  And people who prattle that and say,
+[138.800 --> 144.600]  well, we can detect deception because the person touches their nose or covers their mouth.
+[144.600 --> 146.100]  That's just sheer nonsense.
+[146.100 --> 150.300]  We humans are lousy at detecting deception.
+[150.400 --> 155.200]  Espionage work is often nowhere near what we see in movies.
+[155.200 --> 159.900]  And in one of the cases, we had information from another country saying,
+[159.900 --> 166.900]  you have an American we think is actually a mole who somehow entered the United States
+[166.900 --> 169.300]  is able to pass as an American,
+[169.300 --> 172.900]  but he's here working for a hostile intelligence service.
+[172.900 --> 175.400]  And just fortuitously,
+[175.400 --> 179.600]  he was videographed coming out of a flower shop.
+[179.600 --> 183.700]  We're looking at the video and everybody in our small unit,
+[183.700 --> 185.700]  we were saying, well, there's not much there.
+[185.700 --> 188.400]  He's coming out of the shop, getting in his car.
+[188.400 --> 191.000]  And I said, stop the film right there.
+[191.000 --> 194.200]  Just as he came out of the shop, he took the flowers.
+[194.200 --> 198.400]  And most Americans tend to hold the flowers by the stock
+[198.400 --> 200.200]  so that the flowers are up.
+[200.200 --> 205.900]  This individual took them and grabbed the stock and then held the flowers
+[205.900 --> 207.900]  so that they were facing down.
+[208.000 --> 211.000]  And I said, that's how they carry flowers in Eastern Europe.
+[211.000 --> 214.800]  Rather than confront him about, are you a spy?
+[214.800 --> 217.500]  I decided to do what's called a presumptive.
+[217.500 --> 222.400]  So as I sat there with him, I said, would you like to know how we know?
+[222.400 --> 226.800]  And he had this look on his face and I said, it was the flowers.
+[226.800 --> 229.800]  And then he confessed.
+[229.800 --> 231.800]  When I came into law enforcement,
+[231.800 --> 235.100]  I thought it was all about the confession.
+[235.100 --> 237.100]  It's really about FaceTime.
+[237.100 --> 243.800]  In my 25 years in the FBI, it was a rarity that a person
+[243.800 --> 248.900]  didn't eventually reveal what I needed to know
+[248.900 --> 256.000]  because we would sit down and have these very lengthy conversations.
+[256.000 --> 259.500]  I look at behaviors to do an assessment.
+[259.500 --> 264.000]  What is this person transmitting in relations to any stimuli?
+[264.000 --> 270.500]  My further questioning comes from my observing these behaviors.
+[270.500 --> 273.100]  The first thing I look at is I look at the hair.
+[273.100 --> 274.400]  Does it look healthy?
+[274.400 --> 276.100]  Does it look well groomed?
+[276.100 --> 281.200]  The forehead is very interesting because a lot of times we reveal stress.
+[281.200 --> 286.000]  A lot of the things that we have gone through life are often etched in the forehead.
+[286.000 --> 289.800]  I look at the eyes to see if they're red or not enough sleep.
+[289.800 --> 293.700]  The small area here between the eyes called the globella.
+[293.700 --> 297.800]  It's one of the first areas that reveals information to us.
+[297.800 --> 300.600]  Most often when we don't like something,
+[300.600 --> 303.600]  we do that bunny nose of I don't like.
+[303.600 --> 306.600]  We don't really know what our lips look like.
+[306.600 --> 310.200]  And we tend to compress them when something bothers us,
+[310.200 --> 313.600]  when something really bothers us, we tend to suck them in.
+[313.600 --> 316.000]  The mandibula and look at the cheeks.
+[316.000 --> 317.500]  We may do something like this.
+[317.500 --> 323.100]  We'll rub our tongue against the inside of the cheek.
+[323.200 --> 325.000]  But when we try to hide it,
+[325.000 --> 329.500]  then it tells me that this person is trying to do some perception management.
+[329.500 --> 331.600]  And if they are, I want to know why.
+[331.600 --> 334.500]  At the neck, I want to see if there's any head tilt.
+[334.500 --> 337.200]  Because head tilt, the person is more relaxed.
+[337.200 --> 339.200]  The minute the head tilt goes away,
+[339.200 --> 340.900]  there's usually some issue.
+[340.900 --> 342.700]  I'm looking at the shoulders.
+[342.700 --> 344.500]  You ask somebody a question and they don't know,
+[344.500 --> 346.700]  both shoulders shoot up very quickly.
+[346.700 --> 348.700]  And then I look at the hands.
+[348.700 --> 350.500]  When something's troubling us,
+[350.500 --> 353.900]  we tend to stiffen our fingers, interlace them,
+[353.900 --> 356.400]  and almost like a teepee,
+[356.400 --> 361.000]  we move our hands back and forth very slowly.
+[361.000 --> 365.600]  This is to be differentiated from when we do the steeple,
+[365.600 --> 367.500]  which we do in this position.
+[367.500 --> 369.200]  When something's at issue,
+[369.200 --> 371.700]  we tend to put our hands on our hips
+[371.700 --> 374.000]  and we become very territorial.
+[374.000 --> 375.900]  This is called arms a Kimbo.
+[375.900 --> 378.000]  But look how it changes.
+[378.100 --> 380.400]  When we put our thumbs forward,
+[380.400 --> 384.000]  and then it becomes one of more of, I'm inquisitive.
+[384.000 --> 388.600]  But I also look for any behaviors of ventilating,
+[388.600 --> 391.700]  because men tend to ventilate at the neck,
+[391.700 --> 395.200]  and we do at the very instant something bothers us.
+[395.200 --> 399.500]  And then I look at the legs to see if there's any brushing
+[399.500 --> 401.600]  of the legs with the hands,
+[401.600 --> 404.300]  which is again, to pacify.
+[404.300 --> 407.600]  And then the feet do I see any behaviors
+[407.600 --> 411.200]  such as wiggling of the feet, kicking of the feet.
+[411.200 --> 414.400]  If I ask a question and all of a sudden the feet with draw
+[414.400 --> 417.400]  in our cross, perhaps the person feels a little threatened
+[417.400 --> 418.400]  by that question.
+[418.400 --> 420.100]  So when we study nonverbals,
+[420.100 --> 422.900]  it's not about making judgments,
+[422.900 --> 426.800]  it's about assessing what is this person transmitting
+[426.800 --> 427.800]  in that moment.
+[429.900 --> 433.800]  It really is looking at an individual and saying,
+[433.800 --> 435.600]  what are they transmitting?
+[435.700 --> 438.400]  We're all transmitting at all times.
+[438.400 --> 441.200]  We choose the clothes that we wear,
+[441.200 --> 444.200]  how we groom ourselves, how we dress,
+[444.200 --> 446.400]  but also how do we carry ourselves?
+[446.400 --> 449.800]  Are we coming to the office on this particular day
+[449.800 --> 451.000]  with a lot of energy,
+[451.000 --> 454.700]  or are we coming in with a different sort of pace?
+[454.700 --> 458.000]  And what we look for are differences in behavior
+[458.000 --> 463.100]  down to the minutia of what is this individual's posture
+[463.100 --> 465.400]  as they're walking down the street,
+[465.500 --> 467.800]  are they on the inside of the sidewalk,
+[467.800 --> 469.000]  on the outside?
+[469.000 --> 470.800]  Can we see his blink rate?
+[470.800 --> 473.800]  Can we see how often he's looking at his watch?
+[473.800 --> 477.200]  I know your blink rate is around eight times a minute,
+[477.200 --> 478.200]  but you don't know that.
+[478.200 --> 480.200]  You're not sitting there counting.
+[480.200 --> 483.200]  All these things factor in because they're transmitting
+[483.200 --> 484.200]  information.
+[484.200 --> 488.400]  Now it's up to us to then use that information to say,
+[488.400 --> 490.900]  okay, we need to marshal resources
+[490.900 --> 493.600]  to be on that individual right now.
+[496.200 --> 505.800]  So in most Western cultures,
+[505.800 --> 509.800]  the first time people touch is when they shake hands.
+[509.800 --> 512.700]  Touching becomes that important
+[512.700 --> 514.600]  because we can always remember a time
+[514.600 --> 517.800]  when we shook hands with someone and we didn't like that.
+[517.800 --> 522.200]  It's also the first time when our bodies release
+[522.700 --> 525.800]  bonding chemicals that say I like this person
+[525.800 --> 527.300]  or I don't like this person.
+[527.300 --> 532.600]  So hand shaking is both necessary and essential
+[532.600 --> 533.600]  in most cultures.
+[540.600 --> 542.600]  Ladies, hi, I'm Joe Navarro.
+[542.600 --> 543.400]  Joe, I'm Laura.
+[543.400 --> 544.400]  Laura, how are you?
+[544.400 --> 545.600]  And you are?
+[545.600 --> 547.000]  Katisha, how are you?
+[547.000 --> 548.000]  Okay.
+[548.000 --> 549.600]  Let me ask you this.
+[549.600 --> 551.000]  Let's back up a little bit.
+[552.800 --> 554.600]  Is this comfortable for you?
+[554.600 --> 555.400]  Yes.
+[555.400 --> 556.600]  Yeah.
+[556.600 --> 558.600]  It's a little bit more comfortable.
+[558.600 --> 560.200]  But it's not for you, is it?
+[560.200 --> 561.200]  No.
+[561.200 --> 562.000]  All right.
+[562.000 --> 562.800]  Thank you.
+[562.800 --> 563.400]  All right.
+[563.400 --> 564.800]  So keep talking.
+[566.400 --> 569.900]  What we've done here is we've talked about the importance
+[569.900 --> 572.400]  of space and comfort.
+[572.400 --> 576.200]  They don't realize is how much further apart they are now
+[576.200 --> 581.600]  standing and it's because we have brought this subject up
+[581.600 --> 585.200]  to make them comfortable about saying, hey,
+[585.200 --> 589.400]  it's okay to be comfortable at your perfect distance.
+[589.400 --> 594.200]  And so now we see when they rock, they rock away from each other
+[594.200 --> 597.200]  and they create this space.
+[597.200 --> 601.900]  If you notice, their feet tend to move around more.
+[601.900 --> 607.000]  There's a dynamic going on here where they're kind of
+[607.000 --> 609.700]  trying to find, well, what is the perfect space?
+[609.700 --> 611.700]  What is the perfect distance?
+[611.700 --> 614.900]  And we know that they're unsettled because of the high
+[614.900 --> 617.900]  degree of movement that's going on.
+[623.300 --> 625.200]  Poker is an interesting game.
+[625.200 --> 630.100]  The similitudes of sitting across from a spy or sitting across
+[630.100 --> 634.900]  from players, it's their reactions to a stimulus.
+[634.900 --> 639.900]  We have behaviors indicative of psychological discomfort
+[639.900 --> 645.300]  that we use at home, at work, or at the poker table.
+[645.300 --> 648.100]  So we're going to take a look at poker players and some of
+[648.100 --> 653.100]  the body language that you'll find at a typical poker game.
+[653.100 --> 653.600]  All right.
+[653.600 --> 655.600]  All right.
+[655.600 --> 659.600]  So we'll pause it right there.
+[659.600 --> 663.300]  So one of the things that you first notice is that when a
+[663.300 --> 666.700]  table is called, this is the first time many of them see
+[666.700 --> 667.700]  each other.
+[667.700 --> 672.100]  This is a great opportunity to be looking for behaviors
+[672.100 --> 674.100]  indicative of discomfort.
+[674.100 --> 677.200]  We're going to see the individual shifting in his chair.
+[677.200 --> 680.700]  We're going to see one individual reaching over and
+[680.700 --> 682.300]  grabbing his shoulder.
+[682.300 --> 686.100]  The woman in this case, her shoulders are rather high.
+[686.100 --> 689.300]  This is a great opportunity, even before the game starts to
+[689.300 --> 692.200]  collect poker intelligence.
+[692.600 --> 693.600]  All right, guys.
+[693.600 --> 695.600]  What is good?
+[695.600 --> 697.600]  So we'll stop right there.
+[697.600 --> 699.600]  Look where their hands are at.
+[699.600 --> 702.400]  Here we're looking at player number two and number three.
+[702.400 --> 706.400]  And we notice right away that their hands are on top of the cards.
+[706.400 --> 708.700]  Some players will cage their cards.
+[708.700 --> 712.200]  Some players will put their hands directly on top and press
+[712.200 --> 713.000]  them down.
+[713.000 --> 717.000]  And they may do that because the cards have now increased in value.
+[717.000 --> 720.000]  Player number one tends to keep his hands very close to his
+[720.000 --> 720.900]  body.
+[720.900 --> 725.100]  Player number four, she's actually withdrawn her hands from the
+[725.100 --> 729.000]  table because when we like things, we tend to move our hands
+[729.000 --> 729.900]  forward.
+[729.900 --> 734.000]  When we don't like things, we tend to move the hands away.
+[734.000 --> 735.800]  Guys, only cards.
+[735.800 --> 739.000]  So as we look at player number three, I'm often asked about
+[739.000 --> 741.800]  players who shuffle their chips.
+[741.800 --> 744.600]  What you're really doing is self-suiting.
+[744.600 --> 747.400]  And this just helps you to make it through the game.
+[747.400 --> 750.800]  And that's really all we're looking for.
+[750.800 --> 752.600]  Oh, come on.
+[752.600 --> 755.200]  OK, so we'll stop right there.
+[755.200 --> 758.400]  Player number five is sitting there, arms crossed.
+[758.400 --> 760.400]  You don't see a lot of activity.
+[760.400 --> 763.900]  That doesn't mean he's not transmitting a lot of information.
+[763.900 --> 768.400]  On down the line, I want to see where those thumbs of his are
+[768.400 --> 772.400]  because he holds them very close when nothing's going on.
+[772.400 --> 776.000]  But does that change as the game evolves?
+[776.000 --> 777.300]  If you're looking at non-verbals, it's
+[777.300 --> 780.700]  often useful to look at them at double the speed because all
+[780.700 --> 784.200]  the non-verbals that are critical jump out at you as though
+[784.200 --> 786.200]  it were a caricature.
+[786.200 --> 790.800]  All right, so stop right there.
+[790.800 --> 794.300]  The woman in position number four, you see her head moving
+[794.300 --> 795.800]  around quite a bit.
+[795.800 --> 800.400]  Player number three, you see a lot of activity with his hands.
+[800.400 --> 804.400]  When we look at player number five, now his hands are fully
+[804.400 --> 805.000]  out.
+[805.000 --> 808.400]  This is as far as we've seen them before.
+[808.400 --> 811.200]  At this point, we know that he's engaged and that he's
+[811.200 --> 812.700]  interested.
+[812.700 --> 815.400]  Now, the game is out in the open.
+[815.400 --> 820.300]  75% to 80% of the information we need is sitting out there.
+[820.300 --> 823.500]  What you often see is everybody's looking at their own cards
+[823.500 --> 827.100]  or looking at the community cards rather than looking around.
+[827.100 --> 830.200]  You should be looking around to see what was the reaction
+[830.200 --> 833.700]  because you're going to see that reaction again.
+[833.700 --> 838.100]  In poker, we used to say that you can have a poker face,
+[838.100 --> 841.700]  but I encountered you can't have a poker body.
+[841.700 --> 846.100]  Somewhere, it's going to be revealed.
+[846.100 --> 850.200]  When I was in college in the early 70s, there were really no
+[850.200 --> 853.200]  courses on non-verbal communications.
+[853.200 --> 857.400]  You quickly realize that to a great extent, it's really about
+[857.400 --> 859.600]  what you can interpret from behavior.
+[859.600 --> 863.100]  And so we talk about non-verbels because it matters,
+[863.100 --> 866.100]  because it has gravitas, because it affects how we
+[866.100 --> 867.600]  communicate with each other.
+[867.600 --> 871.600]  When it comes to non-verbels, this is no small matter.
+[871.600 --> 877.600]  We primarily communicate non-verbaly, and we always will.

transcript/interview_E78k_XDjFLA.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+[0.000 --> 12.560]  Hello again. I'm Neil from Lowquick Communications. In the first video we showed you some tips on how to
+[12.560 --> 17.360]  dress for an interview. In this video, we'll be guiding you through some fundamental questions
+[17.360 --> 20.720]  of interview etiquette.
+[23.760 --> 29.440]  When you enter the room, shake hands with your interviewer. Keep your handshake short and firm.
+[30.560 --> 34.000]  If there is more than one person, shake hands with each of your interviewers.
+[36.080 --> 42.640]  It is not recommended to use your second hand at all and avoid turning the handshake.
+[48.960 --> 52.720]  When you are sitting down, you should sit as far back in the seat of the chair as you can.
+[53.760 --> 58.960]  Pull your chair into the table if there is one. Place your hands on the table rather than below it.
+[60.000 --> 65.440]  This will help you sit up straight and appear confident. If you sit too far forward in the chair,
+[65.440 --> 71.120]  you are likely to slouch back subconsciously. Avoid leaning forward on the table as this can seem too
+[71.120 --> 81.040]  aggressive. Contrary to popular belief, fixed eye contact is not essential in an interview.
+[82.400 --> 87.760]  In fact, too much eye contact can be off-putting. It is important to be natural and not to stare.
+[90.000 --> 92.880]  If you need to look away while you are thinking of an answer, do so.
+[95.280 --> 98.080]  Attempt to make eye contact with each of your interviewers,
+[98.080 --> 103.520]  rather than narrowing your focus on one. Similarly, if you were a dinner with two or three people,
+[103.520 --> 106.480]  your attention would not be solely concentrated on one person.
+[110.880 --> 114.720]  There are a few short points to remember regarding gesticulation in your interview.
+[114.720 --> 119.760]  Firstly, gesticulation is natural. It can make you seem at ease and shows that you are passionate.
+[120.320 --> 122.800]  It is also a good way to include people in the conversation.
+[123.600 --> 129.200]  However, like some of the earlier issues, moderation is key. Be natural and don't worry about it.
+[134.880 --> 137.440]  If you blush when the renerves are embarrassed, don't worry.
+[138.080 --> 141.760]  Interviewers expect candidates to be nervous and won't count against you in the interview.
+[142.400 --> 148.000]  You can try wearing green tint makeup under your foundation to combat rose skin tones if you wear makeup.
+[148.960 --> 152.960]  Of course, the best cure for nerves is proper preparation.
+[152.960 --> 155.280]  Something that low-quake communications can help you with.
+[155.280 --> 160.960]  Log on to lowquakecommunications.com for more information about our courses such as
+[160.960 --> 167.200]  Interview Skills or CV Preparation or contact us at info at lowquakecommunications.com.

transcript/interview_GfRznjzWxJg.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
+[0.000 --> 19.600] 
+[30.000 --> 47.300]  Nelly'n snaghuhain gydyン yrdd yma.
+[47.300 --> 51.480]  jo, mae'n至ill wedi bellon, di nahr y myfyr yn hobsbroedd?
+[53.880 --> 56.720]  regist魚 o'r pan, o gyda'r un garfydru hynny,
+[56.720 --> 59.080] nowinding itir angwais fel gydynni drwy hynnydd?
+[60.280 --> 61.780]  ki, crisp.
+[64.140 --> 67.740]  JaFunnyddio'r y tbspnyddio'r fksen syddynni.
+[67.740 --> 69.020]  Mae'r myfyr yn holl i ll Download.
+[70.620 --> 74.280]  Mae'n
+[74.820 --> 77.080]  hefnw sei.
+[77.080 --> 101.580]  doedd werhwys fet ni de subs nieg
+[101.580 --> 103.780]  organis f晚 un maaf davd компed.
+[104.100 --> 111.480]  J яch bod Ddoedd pobl jai grefewchi fod fallig 얘기om mae'm arun i dd retrouvell porig
+[111.580 --> 113.680]  yn féesân f煟igau os y coerfodau.
+[114.320 --> 116.180]  Chif o ei aethu f煟igau o'r diwr,
+[116.280 --> 119.820]  fe
+[121.340 --> 123.500]  Mindf
+[123.580 --> 128.980]  o gallwn gwneud bod yn yma jeld 4 daeth ddod eu f煟igau bod
+[128.980 --> 132.180]  Pys挺 hun i byn na'n cael dyslafr i munnaeth,
+[132.180 --> 134.780]  ac amfulten, maen nhw faithatnt ei bod a patartentau
+[134.780 --> 139.140]  empaach sydd sut mewn teore UKM ni'n bynd efo
+[139.140 --> 140.980]  bod fy關na.
+[140.980 --> 143.980]  Pys ynising gof거를 ar gwynn am futymeidau
+[143.980 --> 146.860]  gymiac cenestian mynd oaredd a fel f sectors
+[146.860 --> 150.220]  faithatntiffker strayd a ei gennym o cymeiblan
+[150.220 --> 153.480]  moeiths a ff�로dd cael bu ffiali
+[153.480 --> 156.180]  i brymneud viw o ch手 yw bwbr
+[156.180 --> 158.340]  sy'n i dyn tro
+[158.340 --> 164.320]  g Department s'an am
+[165.980 --> 167.340]  i'r Ohri fod yn awr
+[168.080 --> 170.460]  yn neshoن gwaert y Rhyslach
+[170.680 --> 171.680]  yn' Diane Gillkins i yna
+[171.940 --> 174.440]  fel Yeahfnny gyfia dd города
+[175.000 --> 176.760]  ondol y my сделал
+[176.960 --> 179.680]  cinfaithwyr a gyda fel
+[180.020 --> 183.220]  jw Buttyw'n dr adjustments
+[183.500 --> 184.740]  ég nhw yn un fan f fueron
+[185.380 --> 186.380]  Rhodd.
+[186.380 --> 199.380]  Magnificentis vit unic, ac patr Elias�� yddeith Medos i unic yma gennych Chyderod o'r nニwn ni.
+[199.380 --> 201.900]  I de maxi'r pan byddol eisteni amanygora fel flyyni canony af robotic gof
+[201.900 --> 205.000]  sy'n gyda gyda fyndfy neu mlynedd o ni'n głau da i yma.

transcript/interview_Go4GVvcS02Y.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,122 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.480]  Hi there, my name is Richard McMunn from the interview training website,
+[4.480 --> 8.040]  passmainterview.com and in this next tutorial,
+[8.040 --> 12.280]  I am going to give you eight body language interview techniques
+[12.280 --> 15.760]  that you can use to help you pass your job interview.
+[15.760 --> 19.320]  Now the majority of people think that you are only assessed
+[19.320 --> 22.600]  against your responses to the interview questions
+[22.600 --> 26.120]  during a job interview, but this is not true. You are also
+[26.120 --> 29.720]  assessed against interview technique and body language.
+[29.720 --> 33.960]  So it's really important that you watch this presentation from start to finish
+[33.960 --> 36.840]  if you want to pass your interview and just quickly,
+[36.840 --> 41.160]  please make sure you hit the subscribe button and also give the video a like
+[41.160 --> 44.040]  because that motivates me to create more content for you.
+[44.040 --> 49.160]  Let's get straight into the tutorial. Body language interview technique
+[49.160 --> 53.720]  number one is to make sure you maintain positive eye contact
+[53.720 --> 57.240]  with the interviewer throughout your job interview.
+[57.240 --> 60.760]  By maintaining positive eye contact with the interviewer,
+[60.760 --> 65.640]  it tells them that you are a confident person and that's really important
+[65.640 --> 69.960]  because all employers want to take on somebody who has confidence.
+[69.960 --> 73.800]  Now you will notice that throughout the duration of these presentations,
+[73.800 --> 77.640]  I always maintain eye contact with you as much as possible
+[77.640 --> 81.000]  because I want to come across as a positive person. However,
+[81.000 --> 84.280]  if I start to look away whilst I am talking to you,
+[84.280 --> 89.320]  this shows you that I am distracted and also potentially that I am a shy person.
+[89.320 --> 92.280]  And we don't want to do that during a job interview.
+[92.280 --> 96.120]  So always maintain positive eye contact with the interviewer.
+[96.120 --> 100.120]  Now if there is more than one person on the interview panel,
+[100.120 --> 104.200]  make sure you maintain eye contact with all of them periodically
+[104.200 --> 109.640]  when answering the interview questions. Body language interview technique number two
+[109.640 --> 113.080]  is to make sure you sit upright in the interview chair
+[113.080 --> 115.640]  throughout the duration of your interview
+[115.640 --> 119.560]  because this tells the interviewer that you are smart, you are professional
+[119.560 --> 123.480]  and you are also able to sit still and pay attention
+[123.480 --> 126.840]  during your job interview. This is really important
+[126.840 --> 129.000]  because if I start to sit back slightly,
+[129.000 --> 131.720]  you can see that my whole body posture changes
+[131.720 --> 135.720]  so make sure you readjust yourself periodically throughout the duration of your
+[135.720 --> 139.320]  interview, sit upright in the chair and you can also
+[139.400 --> 143.720]  stop yourself fidgeting place the palms of your hands on top of your knees.
+[144.360 --> 147.080]  Body language interview technique number three
+[147.080 --> 151.560]  is in relation to the use of your hands during your job interview.
+[151.560 --> 154.840]  Now you will notice that I always use my hands
+[154.840 --> 158.200]  whenever I am presenting to you during these particular videos.
+[158.200 --> 163.240]  And I want to do that because I want to come across as positive and enthusiastic.
+[163.240 --> 165.720]  However, if I was in a job interview,
+[165.720 --> 169.480]  I would only use my hands subtly and occasionally
+[169.480 --> 173.800]  to either accentuate a point or come across as positive
+[173.800 --> 176.920]  and confidence. And you would notice that in a job interview
+[176.920 --> 181.480]  I would never raise my hands too far above my knees when making a point.
+[181.480 --> 184.360]  Body language interview technique number four
+[184.360 --> 189.480]  is to avoid touching your face during the interview. Now on average
+[189.480 --> 193.720]  we touch our face 16 times every hour,
+[193.720 --> 197.400]  often without realizing it. But when you touch your face
+[197.400 --> 200.280]  during a job interview it can actually come across
+[200.280 --> 203.800]  that you are distracted and you are not able to sit still.
+[203.800 --> 207.240]  IE, you are a fidget. So at all times
+[207.240 --> 211.720]  avoid touching your face during the job interview. Body language
+[211.720 --> 217.000]  interview technique number five is to make sure you smile as much as possible
+[217.000 --> 220.520]  during your job interview. Now when you smile at somebody
+[220.520 --> 224.040]  they will always smile back because by smiling
+[224.040 --> 228.120]  it makes them feel positive and after all all employers
+[228.120 --> 233.240]  want to hire somebody who is happy and positive. And by smiling throughout your
+[233.240 --> 236.120]  interview this helps to build a positive rapport
+[236.120 --> 240.920]  with the interviewer. Body language interview technique number six
+[240.920 --> 245.320]  is to make sure you listen throughout the duration of your job
+[245.320 --> 249.160]  interview and more importantly you show the interviewer
+[249.160 --> 252.520]  that you are engaged in the process and you are listening.
+[252.520 --> 255.880]  So whenever the interviewer is either talking about
+[255.880 --> 260.040]  the selection process or they are asking you interview questions
+[260.040 --> 264.520]  you soft facial expressions such as nodding, frowning,
+[264.520 --> 269.080]  raising your eyebrows to demonstrate that you are listening to what they have to say.
+[269.080 --> 273.320]  This is really important because the majority of candidates think that they need to
+[273.320 --> 277.800]  talk throughout the duration of their interview. Yes they do but they also need to
+[278.200 --> 282.120]  listen to. Body language interview technique number seven
+[282.120 --> 286.680]  is an extremely powerful one but it is often underutilized
+[286.680 --> 290.680]  by interview candidates and that is to use your head
+[290.680 --> 294.520]  whilst responding to the interview questions. What do I mean by that?
+[294.520 --> 298.920]  Well during the interview when responding to certain interview questions
+[298.920 --> 303.480]  such as why should we hire you I want to come across as very confident
+[303.560 --> 306.840]  and resilience and to do that I will keep my head
+[306.840 --> 310.760]  perfectly straight when answering the interview question and I will look the
+[310.760 --> 315.400]  interviewer in the eye and I will say you should hire me because having read the job
+[315.400 --> 320.440]  description I already have the necessary skills, qualities and experience
+[320.440 --> 325.000]  to excel in the position. However if I want to come across
+[325.000 --> 330.120]  as somebody who is empathetic and understanding during my interview
+[330.200 --> 334.520]  I will simply tilt my head slightly to the side and this is very powerful
+[334.520 --> 339.720]  because it then shows that I have a softer approach to dealing with certain situations.
+[339.720 --> 344.040]  So if the interviewer said to me during the interview how would you deal with a
+[344.040 --> 350.680]  dissatisfied customer I would utilize a slight head tilt to show that I can demonstrate empathy
+[350.680 --> 354.920]  and I would say whilst dealing with the customer I would ask them questions
+[354.920 --> 358.920]  and I would appreciate the concerns that they had so you can see that by
+[358.920 --> 364.360]  even maintaining a straight looking head position or tilting to the side I can come across
+[364.360 --> 370.520]  based on how I want to during the job interview. Body language interview technique number eight
+[370.520 --> 376.840]  is to make sure you dress to impress this is really important. A lot of people on this channel
+[376.840 --> 381.560]  contact me in the comments section below the video and they say Richard I have a job interview
+[381.560 --> 387.960]  coming up I am not sure what to wear and my advice 100% of the time is that you should always
+[387.960 --> 393.080]  dress professionally and smart because if you can't be bothered to make an effort in your
+[393.080 --> 398.760]  appearance I am not going to hire you because if you don't make an effort it tells me
+[398.760 --> 405.560]  sobbliminally that you are not prepared to do things to very high standards so make sure you always
+[405.560 --> 409.720]  put effort into your appearance and dress to impress during your interview.
+[410.520 --> 415.880]  So in this next part of the video I'm going to give you three really important tips that are
+[415.880 --> 422.200]  going to help you to stand out during your interview. Tip number one is to never turn up to an
+[422.200 --> 429.400]  interview empty handed. My advice is to take along with you your CV or your resume in a smart
+[429.400 --> 436.760]  presentation folder. If you have any evidence of previous strong performance at work or outstanding
+[436.760 --> 443.000]  performance appraisal reviews take these along with you too and if you have any qualifications
+[443.000 --> 448.040]  or certificates of courses you have attended you should take these with you too so never turn up
+[448.040 --> 454.280]  to your interview empty handed. Tip number two for passing your job interview is to make sure you
+[454.280 --> 459.800]  demonstrate really good manners throughout the duration of your interview so make sure you are
+[459.800 --> 466.200]  nice to the receptionist when you turn up at the interview venue don't enter the interview room
+[466.200 --> 472.600]  without knocking and do not sit down in the interview chair unless invited to do so. And tip number
+[472.600 --> 478.840]  three is to make sure you rehearse your answers to the most common interview questions before you
+[478.840 --> 485.080]  attend the real thing. It is a well known fact that those candidates who practice their answers to
+[485.080 --> 491.160]  the interview questions before the real thing are far more likely to succeed. Now if you would like
+[491.160 --> 496.280]  a number of brilliant example top scoring answers to the most common interview questions
+[496.280 --> 500.680]  click that link right now in the top right hand corner of the video head through to my website
+[500.680 --> 506.920]  passmainterview.com and you can download my full set of 30 brilliant answers to difficult interview
+[506.920 --> 512.120]  questions in a PDF guide and you can have it within your inbox within two minutes from now.
+[512.840 --> 518.120]  So just before I leave you and sign off don't forget to hit the subscribe button lots of you are
+[518.120 --> 523.400]  passing your job interviews and I can only help you if you are subscribed to the channel make sure
+[523.400 --> 529.080]  you hit the like button because that tells me you find these videos useful and it motivates me to
+[529.080 --> 534.360]  create more content for you and also don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn. I put my LinkedIn
+[534.360 --> 538.760]  link in the description below the video it's always good to connect with like-minded professionals.
+[538.760 --> 543.480]  Thank you so much for watching and I wish you all the best for passing your interview.

transcript/interview_HG68Ymazo18.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
+[0.000 --> 6.280]  Arguably the most crucial part of the job search, an interview can make or break an opportunity.
+[6.280 --> 12.360]  So to help you really prepare, we're going to dissect and analyze an entire interview from start to finish.
+[12.360 --> 18.320]  I'll be sprinkling in a mix of tips about body language, etiquette, and how to answer common questions.
+[18.320 --> 20.560]  Like when exactly does the interview start?
+[20.560 --> 23.800]  How do you deal with nerves and how soon can you follow up?
+[23.800 --> 31.600]  For years, athletes have used science and data analysis to improve.
+[31.600 --> 35.480]  Now, we are doing the same for job seekers everywhere.
+[35.480 --> 37.640]  This is job science.
+[43.640 --> 47.560]  Meet Anya, a recent grad majoring in business administration.
+[47.560 --> 50.680]  She's interviewing for an entry-level project management position.
+[54.800 --> 57.320]  Note her posture.
+[57.320 --> 58.320]  Head up.
+[58.320 --> 59.640]  Shoulders pulled back.
+[59.640 --> 61.880]  No slouching and no laid backness.
+[61.880 --> 64.520]  The interview begins the minute you walk into the building.
+[64.520 --> 68.840]  On your treats, everyone in the office with respect while keeping eye contact.
+[68.840 --> 71.240]  From security personnel to receptionists.
+[71.240 --> 75.080]  Anyone you run into on your way in could be asked to give feedback on you.
+[75.080 --> 77.720]  It's normal to be nervous.
+[77.720 --> 82.520]  When nerves kick in, the natural human response is to take short breaths and breathe faster.
+[82.520 --> 86.520]  Stay calm by taking a deep breath before entering.
+[86.520 --> 91.640]  Hold it, count to three, and then slowly breathe out.
+[98.040 --> 100.040]  Pause.
+[100.040 --> 102.360]  First, ace those introductions.
+[102.360 --> 104.840]  Greet everyone in a way that is authentic to you.
+[104.840 --> 106.880]  Like, hey, nice to meet you.
+[106.880 --> 108.240]  And then say their name.
+[108.240 --> 109.560]  That one always works.
+[109.640 --> 113.560]  You know, you're more likely to remember their name if you say it out loud when you first meet.
+[114.520 --> 118.200]  A lot of the time, small talk comes up before any questions.
+[118.200 --> 120.760]  It's good to have a few current events or topics in mind.
+[121.320 --> 123.880]  You can't possibly predict what they're going to ask,
+[123.880 --> 126.280]  but you can practice answering the common ones.
+[126.280 --> 127.720]  Like, why do you want to work here?
+[128.280 --> 129.720]  What makes you unique?
+[129.720 --> 131.400]  Let's see what our interviewer asks.
+[132.120 --> 133.160]  So I want to hear more.
+[133.880 --> 136.520]  Tell me a little about your experience in what you'd bring to this role.
+[137.080 --> 137.720]  Pause.
+[138.200 --> 141.720]  When this is asked, they're looking to learn what makes you stand out.
+[142.040 --> 143.880]  Be honest with your answers.
+[143.880 --> 146.600]  That means having to pause and think for a second.
+[146.600 --> 148.200]  That is all right.
+[148.200 --> 152.280]  Think about your past experiences and how the role lines up with your future goals.
+[152.280 --> 153.720]  It never hurts to be honest.
+[156.200 --> 157.160]  Great question.
+[157.160 --> 161.240]  Ever since I was young, I've always been the organized one of my family.
+[161.240 --> 166.040]  Whether it was helping my parents get their vacations or color coordinating my closet.
+[166.120 --> 167.800]  Naturally, that lifestyle got me here.
+[167.800 --> 168.680]  Project management.
+[169.320 --> 171.960]  I've been a people person for as long as I can remember.
+[171.960 --> 176.040]  Playing in simple, I love team building and making sure everyone has a part.
+[176.040 --> 176.920]  Just the other month.
+[176.920 --> 178.600]  Oh, just really quick.
+[178.600 --> 181.720]  Don't speak negatively about previous places you've worked.
+[181.720 --> 184.200]  Instead, talk about what you've learned.
+[184.200 --> 188.440]  I helped lead a team of five to deliver a three week sales project a few days ahead of schedule.
+[189.160 --> 190.520]  I'd love to bring these things here.
+[191.320 --> 192.040]  Perfect.
+[192.040 --> 194.920]  A response like this not only answers the question,
+[194.920 --> 197.000]  but also shows on for personality.
+[197.000 --> 200.920]  But remember, there's no one right way to interview and answer questions.
+[200.920 --> 203.400]  Be yourself and let your personality shine.
+[203.400 --> 204.920]  Be aware of your movements.
+[204.920 --> 207.640]  Practice polite, confident body language.
+[207.640 --> 211.400]  Suddenly, miming your interviewer's posture can actually create a sense of connection.
+[211.400 --> 215.480]  Of all places, unnecessary movements are hard to ignore an interview.
+[215.480 --> 220.120]  Whether it's tapping your fingers or bouncing your leg, be aware and stay present.
+[221.160 --> 223.480]  Hey, it's been great chatting so far.
+[223.560 --> 227.160]  I guess my last question is, do you have any questions for me?
+[227.160 --> 229.160]  Oh, this is a hot one.
+[229.160 --> 232.920]  Make sure to have a short list of questions for your employer in your back pocket.
+[232.920 --> 235.560]  Ask the questions you would if you got the job.
+[235.560 --> 239.160]  Tomorrow is your first day, or do you want to know from the manager?
+[239.160 --> 241.480]  Even if you don't have any burning questions,
+[241.480 --> 245.080]  ask me if you showed that you did your homework and that you really care.
+[245.080 --> 248.200]  Some include, what do you like best about working here?
+[248.200 --> 250.840]  What are some mistakes people have made in this position?
+[250.840 --> 253.320]  What is a goal you're currently working toward?
+[253.320 --> 255.400]  How will my performance be evaluated?
+[255.400 --> 258.760]  Well, I did read that you're expanding your software team next quarter.
+[258.760 --> 260.680]  I'm curious how you plan to carry that out.
+[261.560 --> 263.880]  The interview isn't actually over.
+[263.880 --> 267.960]  Always follow up within 24 hours with a thank you email to the hiring manager.
+[267.960 --> 270.760]  This can be a quick note simply thanking them for their time,
+[270.760 --> 273.880]  or a longer one that elaborates on some of the things you talked about.
+[273.880 --> 275.720]  It's key to leaving a lasting impression.
+[276.280 --> 277.800]  This was the breakdown of an interview.
+[278.280 --> 279.080]  Till next time.

transcript/interview_HRl0dvPRkSI.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,555 @@
+[0.000 --> 12.720]  We're going to get the show rolling now.
+[12.720 --> 20.480]  Our next speaker is somebody who's really, really well known on the speaker circuit.
+[20.480 --> 26.800]  He's a former FBI agent and he's one of the leading experts in nonverbal communication
+[26.800 --> 27.880]  in the world.
+[27.880 --> 38.480]  He's published over 11 books and he's going to basically show us how the way we act,
+[38.480 --> 43.920]  our nonverbal cues can affect the way people communicate with us, the way we present ourselves,
+[43.920 --> 48.120]  and it's going to help you understand other people's nonverbal cues and how it all
+[48.120 --> 49.560]  relates to community, right?
+[49.560 --> 51.320]  This is what we do.
+[51.320 --> 55.240]  We talked a lot about the theoretical stuff before.
+[55.240 --> 60.200]  We talked a lot about the ways that we can integrate into our business, but this section
+[60.200 --> 62.600]  is all around how to build engagement with people.
+[62.600 --> 65.160]  So, we're going to start with this talk, which is very hands on.
+[65.160 --> 67.040]  It's about engaging people in person.
+[67.040 --> 72.560]  We're going to go into a lot of online engagement and understand a little bit more of the practice
+[72.560 --> 76.720]  of building community and actually building engagement for people.
+[76.720 --> 96.320]  So, let's give a big CMX welcome to Joe Navarro.
+[96.320 --> 100.040]  Thank you for the kind introduction.
+[100.040 --> 105.760]  It's hard to follow a break because I know the break was a lot of fun.
+[105.760 --> 110.000]  It's, Dave would tell you, it took me quite a bit to get here.
+[110.000 --> 117.840]  I was supposed to be with CMX earlier in the year and unfortunately we had an illness,
+[117.840 --> 121.960]  but it's a pleasure to be here.
+[121.960 --> 129.960]  In 1960, and this explains why I'm in front of you, something happened that nobody expected,
+[129.960 --> 135.840]  and that magical thing that happened, which explains why I'm here, is that there was
+[135.840 --> 141.200]  a presidential debate and it was the first televised debate.
+[141.200 --> 147.600]  And prior to that, debates had been covered by newspapers or on the radio.
+[147.600 --> 154.000]  And for the first time, it was on television and something weird happened, weirder than
+[154.000 --> 156.480]  what we're seeing nowadays.
+[156.480 --> 161.400]  The weird thing that happened was those who listened to it on the radio said Richard Nixon
+[161.400 --> 171.200]  won and those who saw it on television said Kennedy won and not just won but decisively
+[171.200 --> 174.680]  and whoa, you can't have both.
+[174.680 --> 180.240]  How can you have one group who listens to it say he won and the other group who saw it
+[180.240 --> 183.120]  say the other one won.
+[183.120 --> 188.640]  And that difference was the nonverbal communications.
+[188.640 --> 198.080]  Now in 1960, that's what I looked like and I was in Cuba and I was actually that week
+[198.080 --> 205.200]  getting my passport picture because the communists had taken over, things were getting nasty,
+[205.200 --> 211.280]  priests were disappearing, they had just closed my school and my parents were thinking
+[211.360 --> 214.120]  we need to get out of here.
+[214.120 --> 220.000]  And at that time, the word refugee wasn't a dirty word like it is today.
+[220.000 --> 225.320]  So we were going to take refuge somewhere and that place was the United States.
+[225.320 --> 235.800]  Now I wanted to save people and be heroic and so forth and well things didn't quite
+[235.800 --> 239.400]  turn out that way so I ended up here in the States.
+[239.480 --> 245.520]  I learned English and somehow I became an FBI agent.
+[245.520 --> 251.840]  And there's some things that I learned along the way both as a refugee and as an observer
+[251.840 --> 254.640]  of life and that's all I was.
+[254.640 --> 257.240]  That was a paid observer.
+[257.240 --> 262.160]  And I want to share these with you because as fascinating as criminals were, there
+[262.160 --> 267.960]  were not nearly as fascinating as this people that I studied along the way and certainly
+[268.040 --> 275.920]  in the last 15 years in writing books that I define as really being exceptional and they're
+[275.920 --> 280.160]  exceptional because of things that are non-verbels.
+[280.160 --> 283.080]  So I'd like to cover that with you today.
+[283.080 --> 285.640]  And non-verbels is very broad.
+[285.640 --> 289.760]  It's everything that communicates but is not a word.
+[289.760 --> 295.680]  So this room has its own message, its own history.
+[295.680 --> 299.040]  You have your own message that you communicate.
+[299.040 --> 305.280]  If your mother didn't dress you and you chose to dress yourself today, you are communicating
+[305.280 --> 311.440]  how you feel, what you think, maybe where you're from.
+[311.440 --> 319.120]  We communicate in all the things that we attach ourselves to, whether we use a Mont Blanc
+[319.120 --> 323.240]  pen or we use a big pen.
+[323.240 --> 326.120]  So it's a very broad field.
+[326.120 --> 330.880]  And it's interesting how many things that we observe non-verbally.
+[330.880 --> 336.280]  You don't walk up to somebody and say, excuse me, are you honest?
+[336.280 --> 337.520]  Nobody does that.
+[337.520 --> 342.480]  And yet, how do you let people in through the front door?
+[342.480 --> 343.480]  Somebody knocks on your door.
+[343.480 --> 345.960]  Who do you decide to talk to?
+[345.960 --> 350.920]  Who do you decide who you're going to lend money to or assist or whatever?
+[350.920 --> 357.480]  And a lot of the things that we do, we do non-verbally because we have been for a very long
+[357.480 --> 359.240]  time.
+[359.240 --> 364.840]  Every time you're at an ATM machine and you're looking over your shoulder, your non-verbally
+[364.840 --> 368.400]  assessing, is there a threat to me?
+[368.400 --> 372.120]  Is everything going to be okay?
+[372.120 --> 374.840]  And this we do without really thinking about it.
+[374.840 --> 381.200]  We look at this individual and we say, oh wait, this individual looks professional.
+[381.200 --> 384.080]  This is what we call thin-slice assessments.
+[384.080 --> 386.320]  He looks competent.
+[386.320 --> 388.160]  He looks friendly.
+[388.160 --> 393.120]  Now, it's possible he's not.
+[393.120 --> 395.320]  But at least on the surface, we're going to try it out.
+[395.320 --> 401.320]  And then we look at this individual and we say, wow, he looks competent, but he doesn't
+[401.320 --> 404.720]  look as friendly.
+[404.720 --> 408.240]  One of them is telling you you can talk to me for several minutes.
+[408.240 --> 411.840]  One of them is saying you can talk to me for several seconds.
+[411.840 --> 417.560]  But one of the things I learned about studying body language is the little things.
+[417.560 --> 420.600]  And one of them you see here is the thumb displays.
+[420.600 --> 423.840]  And I don't know if you've ever seen thumb displays.
+[423.840 --> 425.880]  These are high status displays.
+[425.880 --> 428.600]  You see them with royalty in Europe.
+[428.600 --> 431.880]  You see them in certain professions.
+[431.880 --> 439.520]  I assure you, when your plumber is done, he doesn't finish the job and go, oh, hello.
+[439.520 --> 446.240]  This is a high status display as our other thumb displays.
+[446.240 --> 452.080]  This was a young child who began to observe these things because I learned as an immigrant,
+[452.080 --> 459.040]  actually as a refugee, not an immigrant, that non-verbals were more truthful than
+[459.120 --> 462.440]  the verbals.
+[462.440 --> 470.240]  Because people will say things, but they don't always mean them, but you can't really
+[470.240 --> 473.800]  fake the non-verbals.
+[473.800 --> 477.360]  And then I learned along the way that there were some other things that were troubling.
+[477.360 --> 481.760]  How many of you have been told that this behavior is not a good behavior to do?
+[481.760 --> 482.760]  Right?
+[482.760 --> 483.760]  Right.
+[483.760 --> 485.560]  There's a clinical term for that.
+[486.440 --> 491.560]  And I hope David will forgive me, but the term for that is crap.
+[491.560 --> 493.200]  That's just sheer nonsense.
+[493.200 --> 498.760]  For, in fact, many of you, when we had the breakout, we're doing this, and you were
+[498.760 --> 501.640]  quite comfortable, weren't you?
+[501.640 --> 503.680]  It's a self-hug.
+[503.680 --> 505.280]  It's just a self-hug.
+[505.280 --> 507.600]  It feels good.
+[507.600 --> 512.640]  That's why we do it in public, more so than in private.
+[512.720 --> 515.560]  So there's a lot of junk out there about non-verbals.
+[515.560 --> 522.440]  And of course, there's the problem of sometimes we don't see the non-verbals because what?
+[522.440 --> 524.560]  We're busy with a device.
+[524.560 --> 528.560]  Now, I'm not here to change the world.
+[528.560 --> 532.800]  I can't tell you to stop using devices, but I can tell you this, no matter how many
+[532.800 --> 540.560]  devices we have, we as a species evolve to communicate non-verbaly.
+[540.560 --> 549.560]  A text will never, will never supplant a hug or a kind smile or a head tilt.
+[549.560 --> 551.200]  It just won't do it.
+[551.200 --> 557.120]  Now, whether people will abide by that, that's not my responsibility.
+[557.120 --> 561.640]  But there are some things that we can master here today that you can take away today because
+[561.640 --> 562.880]  that's what David wanted.
+[562.880 --> 565.400]  Give him something they can use immediately.
+[565.400 --> 569.440]  And that is focus on comfort and discomfort.
+[569.440 --> 570.440]  What's that?
+[570.440 --> 571.440]  Comfort and discomfort.
+[571.440 --> 573.560]  We're not here to learn about deception.
+[573.560 --> 577.320]  We're not here about power displays.
+[577.320 --> 578.320]  Comfort, discomfort.
+[578.320 --> 583.640]  If you focus on that, you'll be blessed.
+[583.640 --> 587.560]  From the moment we're born, we are doing pacifying behaviors.
+[587.560 --> 594.280]  In fact, we do pacifying behaviors in utero, just as other mammals do.
+[594.280 --> 598.040]  Elephants suck their trunk in utero.
+[598.040 --> 604.760]  And if you've ever wondered why we bite our lips, smoke, touch our faces, do all these
+[604.760 --> 605.760]  things.
+[605.760 --> 606.760]  These are pacifiers.
+[606.760 --> 613.200]  This is our body saying, chill, relax, calm down.
+[613.200 --> 615.760]  And we do these things all day long.
+[615.760 --> 620.480]  Yesterday I'm watching the flights and there was two canceled flights and people are standing
+[620.480 --> 623.520]  there and they're biting their lips.
+[623.520 --> 626.520]  And Adonami, people bite their lips and they don't know why they bite.
+[626.520 --> 627.520]  Do you know why we bite our lips?
+[627.520 --> 629.200]  Well, tell you why.
+[629.200 --> 632.680]  Because you can't suck your thumb anymore.
+[632.680 --> 635.200]  Because at my age, this looks bad.
+[635.200 --> 639.920]  I want to, but I can't.
+[639.920 --> 647.320]  So we have all these little behaviors, repetitive behaviors, foot bouncing, leg jiggling, all these
+[647.320 --> 649.840]  little behaviors we dislike that are repetitive.
+[649.840 --> 652.320]  We do to calm ourselves down.
+[652.320 --> 653.320]  How do they reveal?
+[653.320 --> 659.440]  The revealing that the brain is dealing with some sort of stress.
+[659.440 --> 661.880]  So let's talk about the first important one.
+[661.880 --> 667.040]  And the first one is eye blocking behavior.
+[667.040 --> 670.360]  So when something bothers us, we cover our eyes.
+[670.360 --> 672.680]  And you say, well, wait a minute.
+[672.680 --> 679.400]  I cover my eyes when something bothers you.
+[679.400 --> 681.080]  How do we know this?
+[681.080 --> 686.160]  Because in 1974, I studied children who were born blind.
+[686.160 --> 688.280]  They had never seen.
+[688.280 --> 692.960]  And when they hear things they don't like, they don't cover their ears.
+[692.960 --> 695.720]  They cover their eyes.
+[695.720 --> 698.360]  That means it's part of our paleo circuits.
+[698.360 --> 700.960]  This is millions of years old.
+[700.960 --> 705.360]  And so when we hear somebody say something or you ask them something and they go, oh,
+[705.360 --> 709.240]  thank you for that question and they're covering their eye, you know.
+[709.240 --> 714.160]  They didn't like that question.
+[714.160 --> 716.440]  And then there's the nose, right?
+[716.440 --> 721.160]  We wrinkle our nose when we don't like something.
+[721.160 --> 726.640]  And we do this all day long, whether we're reading a contract or somebody suggesting,
+[726.640 --> 730.040]  you want to go to this restaurant and I don't think so.
+[730.040 --> 736.400]  But it's interesting to see how often, for instance, this betrays our negative sentiments
+[736.400 --> 738.360]  as do our lips.
+[738.360 --> 743.040]  I never wonder why when you're asked the question, you might go, hmm, I don't know.
+[743.040 --> 752.920]  And you purse your lips because it means I'm thinking something alternatively or I disagree.
+[752.920 --> 753.920]  Wow.
+[753.920 --> 759.320]  Can you imagine being in a discourse and a conversation and you're seeing this behavior?
+[759.320 --> 762.960]  What a great opportunity to say, wait, what do you think?
+[762.960 --> 769.640]  Because I know you're already disagreeing with me instead of just talking.
+[769.640 --> 775.120]  We know that when the lips disappear, something's wrong, which is why anytime you see somebody
+[775.120 --> 777.880]  testifying in Congress, they have no lips.
+[777.880 --> 781.240]  Their lips are sucked out of their mouths.
+[781.240 --> 783.640]  They're gone.
+[783.640 --> 785.520]  Lips gone issues.
+[785.520 --> 788.400]  Anytime the lips narrow, they're gone.
+[788.400 --> 789.600]  And then there's the neck.
+[790.320 --> 794.080]  You ever wonder why we touch the neck?
+[794.080 --> 798.480]  Issues and securities.
+[798.480 --> 800.440]  Oh my God, there's that guy again.
+[800.440 --> 801.440]  Oh, he's gone.
+[801.440 --> 803.680]  He's back.
+[803.680 --> 807.680]  And we cover this little area called the Supersternal Natch.
+[807.680 --> 814.200]  And we do it because since the time of Australopithecines,
+[814.280 --> 822.040]  what has mankind witnessed large felines, large felines?
+[822.040 --> 827.800]  And so we adopted these behaviors that when there's a threat, when there's something
+[827.800 --> 839.800]  negative, we freeze, we cover our mouths, or we cover our necks because of large felines.
+[839.800 --> 841.000]  And we ventilate, right?
+[841.000 --> 843.160]  You ask somebody, is that going to be done by July?
+[843.160 --> 846.520]  And they go, yeah, no, it's not.
+[846.520 --> 847.880]  No, it's not.
+[847.880 --> 848.840]  Why do you know that?
+[848.840 --> 853.800]  Because they ventilated and we only ventilate when something's wrong.
+[853.800 --> 856.760]  Not deception, but something's wrong.
+[856.760 --> 860.320]  And we do funny things with our hands.
+[860.320 --> 865.120]  We rub our hands all day long when we're dealing with any kind of stress.
+[865.120 --> 866.600]  You should be in the green room.
+[866.600 --> 869.760]  I'm watching all the speakers before me, and they're all ringing their hands.
+[869.760 --> 872.080]  And I was ringing my hands.
+[872.080 --> 876.400]  But there's one behavior we do, which is a reserved behavior.
+[876.400 --> 882.760]  When you see somebody doing this, their fingers are interlaced, fingers are straight,
+[882.760 --> 887.200]  and they start doing this, something's really wrong.
+[887.200 --> 890.040]  Something is really wrong.
+[890.040 --> 896.360]  And yet how many people miss this because we don't take the time to learn the nonverbals.
+[896.360 --> 900.920]  This is a reserved behavior.
+[900.920 --> 905.360]  And then there's behaviors that potentiate our messages.
+[905.360 --> 910.480]  If you ever wonder why people steeple, this is called the steeple, let's all do it together.
+[910.480 --> 911.480]  Put your fingers together.
+[911.480 --> 913.440]  It won't hurt.
+[913.440 --> 915.160]  Separate your fingers, right?
+[915.160 --> 917.080]  Wide and high.
+[917.080 --> 918.360]  Don't arch them.
+[918.360 --> 919.840]  There you go.
+[919.840 --> 926.240]  The only behavior, the only behavior on this planet that says I'm confident.
+[926.240 --> 927.640]  No, it's true.
+[927.640 --> 929.760]  And how do we know this?
+[929.760 --> 937.120]  Because when we look at blind children, they do this behavior to other blind children,
+[937.120 --> 946.440]  which means that they've learned to perform it and they're receptive to getting that message.
+[946.440 --> 950.480]  So when you have something important to communicate, don't sit on your hands.
+[950.480 --> 952.360]  Don't put them in your pockets.
+[952.360 --> 953.360]  Steeple.
+[953.360 --> 954.560]  There's a purpose for it.
+[954.560 --> 957.960]  It potentiates your message.
+[957.960 --> 959.200]  Don't do it weekly.
+[959.200 --> 960.960]  Don't do it under the table.
+[960.960 --> 962.680]  Do it high.
+[962.680 --> 965.320]  Do it high.
+[965.320 --> 972.440]  And the feet, I talk about the feet because the feet are the most honest part of your body.
+[972.440 --> 973.760]  Most people don't know that.
+[973.760 --> 981.080]  You see, our faces have, by social convention contracts, you smile, I smile.
+[981.080 --> 984.760]  And our feet don't have a contract with anyone.
+[984.760 --> 989.120]  If you see a threat, your feet turn away.
+[989.120 --> 993.560]  If you have to go, David was up there with me and he had to leave.
+[993.560 --> 997.040]  And immediately one of the feet oriented.
+[997.040 --> 999.840]  I know, I drive people crazy.
+[999.840 --> 1001.840]  I knew he had to go.
+[1001.840 --> 1003.760]  So why stop him?
+[1003.760 --> 1008.000]  That's called social intelligence.
+[1008.000 --> 1011.400]  And in the last few minutes that I have, I want to talk about something else that has
+[1011.400 --> 1013.760]  to do with non-verbals.
+[1013.760 --> 1016.800]  And that is influence.
+[1016.800 --> 1022.280]  Because we influence each other primarily not with words.
+[1022.280 --> 1023.520]  Not with words.
+[1023.520 --> 1025.600]  Nobody's that clever.
+[1025.600 --> 1031.520]  We influence each other non-verbally.
+[1031.520 --> 1036.280]  We think of houses as having a curved side appeal.
+[1036.280 --> 1040.800]  But the question I always ask is, what is your curved side appeal?
+[1040.800 --> 1042.960]  What would drive me to you?
+[1042.960 --> 1043.960]  Are you clever?
+[1043.960 --> 1044.960]  Are you smart?
+[1044.960 --> 1045.960]  Are you funny?
+[1045.960 --> 1046.960]  Are you interesting?
+[1046.960 --> 1047.960]  Do you have a great story?
+[1047.960 --> 1048.960]  Did you read a great book?
+[1048.960 --> 1055.840]  Or is it time to repaint the house, cut the grass, and change the shrubbery?
+[1055.840 --> 1061.760]  And I say that because I'm old enough to know and have talked to people who haven't changed
+[1061.760 --> 1063.920]  in 15 years.
+[1063.920 --> 1067.680]  And then they wonder why they're stalled.
+[1067.680 --> 1072.440]  And I say, have you changed your curved side appeal?
+[1072.440 --> 1074.680]  Read a book.
+[1074.680 --> 1079.600]  I love this photograph because when I look at it, I see serenity.
+[1079.600 --> 1083.280]  And we are drawn to things that are serene.
+[1083.280 --> 1086.720]  The human brain dislikes this harmony.
+[1086.720 --> 1092.040]  We like things and we like individuals that make us feel good.
+[1092.040 --> 1095.720]  I love this photograph for that.
+[1095.720 --> 1104.220]  We like this guy, even though he's the same as, I don't know how that picture got switched
+[1104.220 --> 1107.720]  with that one.
+[1107.720 --> 1110.640]  But look at it for a second.
+[1110.640 --> 1116.280]  Why are we drawn to one and not drawn to the other one?
+[1116.280 --> 1120.280]  And here's the message, clothing does matter.
+[1120.280 --> 1123.640]  Oh yes, but it does.
+[1123.640 --> 1124.960]  But it does.
+[1124.960 --> 1126.760]  Look at the research.
+[1126.760 --> 1132.040]  Now I realize that I'm the one that's over-dressed here and maybe I need to apologize, but that's
+[1132.040 --> 1135.240]  the way I feel comfortable.
+[1135.240 --> 1143.120]  But don't ever ignore the fact that how we appear matters because the research shows
+[1143.120 --> 1149.640]  that at six months, we already prefer at six months of age, a baby.
+[1149.640 --> 1157.640]  We already prefer beauty at six months.
+[1157.640 --> 1161.000]  We like smiles, but we like head tilt better.
+[1161.000 --> 1166.040]  I loved when I was watching all of you and so many of you had your head tilted.
+[1166.040 --> 1169.120]  Head tilt means I'm receptive to you.
+[1169.120 --> 1173.920]  Can you imagine as a child, your parent always addresses you like a drill sergeant?
+[1173.920 --> 1174.920]  Hi, how are you?
+[1174.920 --> 1175.920]  Nice to see you.
+[1175.920 --> 1177.600]  Do you have a good day?
+[1177.600 --> 1181.640]  Versus high.
+[1181.640 --> 1185.560]  Because at four weeks, a baby recognizes head tilt.
+[1185.560 --> 1188.560]  And if you don't believe me, borrow somebody's child.
+[1188.560 --> 1189.560]  Go on.
+[1189.560 --> 1192.720]  It's excuse me.
+[1192.720 --> 1196.840]  That bloke says that head tilt and watch how the baby smiles.
+[1196.840 --> 1200.040]  And we human smile when we see head tilt.
+[1200.040 --> 1202.760]  It means we're receptive.
+[1202.760 --> 1204.920]  And we love great attitude.
+[1204.920 --> 1206.200]  You know what we hate?
+[1206.200 --> 1207.200]  Bad attitude.
+[1207.200 --> 1210.800]  How many of you know somebody that has a bad attitude?
+[1210.800 --> 1213.240]  And they still breathe.
+[1213.240 --> 1220.640]  You're always going to be around people with bad attitude, but we gravitate towards people
+[1220.640 --> 1223.320]  with great attitude.
+[1223.320 --> 1228.320]  And that's really who we want to work with and associate with.
+[1228.320 --> 1233.400]  And here this princess is doing what we call a gravity-defying behavior.
+[1233.400 --> 1238.000]  She's arching her eyebrows.
+[1238.000 --> 1243.160]  When you say hi to somebody and you divide gravity, you go, hey, how are you?
+[1243.160 --> 1246.000]  Versus how you doing?
+[1246.000 --> 1247.320]  Which one do you like better?
+[1247.320 --> 1251.360]  Do you like the one with the animation, with the arching of the eyebrows?
+[1251.360 --> 1254.520]  Or do you like the, hey, doing?
+[1254.520 --> 1255.960]  Nobody likes the other one?
+[1255.960 --> 1258.360]  And that's because you're burning blood sugars.
+[1258.360 --> 1263.640]  You're burning, you're actually doing something energetic that says I care about you.
+[1263.640 --> 1267.760]  Because when I don't, I won't lift a finger literally.
+[1267.760 --> 1272.520]  And so just with the arching of an eyebrow, when you see somebody, you'll be perceived
+[1272.520 --> 1276.800]  as more kind and they'll want to be with you.
+[1276.800 --> 1280.480]  You know, oftentimes, I was speaking with Tim.
+[1280.480 --> 1282.040]  Sometimes we set the wrong goal.
+[1282.040 --> 1285.120]  We set the goal as I want to achieve this.
+[1285.120 --> 1290.600]  When the goal is, I want to have more face time.
+[1290.600 --> 1291.600]  Think about it.
+[1291.600 --> 1293.120]  The difference.
+[1293.120 --> 1296.520]  When I came into the FBI, they said, well, you got to get a confession.
+[1296.520 --> 1298.120]  I reframed it.
+[1298.120 --> 1301.000]  I want to have face time with this person.
+[1301.000 --> 1306.760]  If I have face time, they'll tell me whatever I want to know.
+[1306.760 --> 1307.760]  Why?
+[1307.760 --> 1309.440]  They want to spend time with me.
+[1309.440 --> 1311.080]  And that's what I did.
+[1311.080 --> 1315.480]  If your goal is, I want to sell this or I want to achieve that, maybe you should reframe
+[1315.480 --> 1319.680]  it and say, how do I achieve more face time?
+[1319.680 --> 1325.840]  To do that, you've got to do everything I've talked about so far.
+[1325.840 --> 1328.320]  That's what you don't want to do.
+[1328.320 --> 1330.520]  You don't want to look like that.
+[1330.520 --> 1332.720]  We want to listen.
+[1332.720 --> 1337.320]  We want to listen for the words that are used because not all words have the same weight.
+[1338.320 --> 1343.240]  My generation used problems.
+[1343.240 --> 1344.960]  Your generation says issues.
+[1344.960 --> 1346.760]  It doesn't resonate with me.
+[1346.760 --> 1350.560]  If I say mom and dad, don't say family.
+[1350.560 --> 1354.400]  You need to listen because words have different weight.
+[1354.400 --> 1358.760]  And people will front that which is important.
+[1358.760 --> 1362.200]  And they will use weighted words with you.
+[1362.200 --> 1366.080]  But we also have to be curious.
+[1366.080 --> 1368.960]  If you want people to spend time with you, be curious.
+[1368.960 --> 1374.000]  Be not only curious, they'll gravitate to you.
+[1374.000 --> 1375.160]  They'll spend time with you.
+[1375.160 --> 1379.040]  They want to know more about you just by asking them questions.
+[1379.040 --> 1380.040]  Really where are you from?
+[1380.040 --> 1381.040]  Oh my God.
+[1381.040 --> 1383.120]  What was that growing up like?
+[1383.120 --> 1386.560]  Whatever.
+[1386.560 --> 1390.920]  Because we humans seek to communicate.
+[1390.920 --> 1397.160]  And when people are curious, they gravitate towards us.
+[1397.160 --> 1400.440]  And we want to mirror non-verbally.
+[1400.440 --> 1403.200]  If you're relaxed, I'm relaxed.
+[1403.200 --> 1407.320]  If you're stressed, I want to help you to deal with that stress.
+[1407.320 --> 1412.520]  I want to mirror your words so that we are in synchrony.
+[1412.520 --> 1416.000]  How many of you have had a bad handshake?
+[1416.000 --> 1417.000]  Right?
+[1417.000 --> 1420.080]  It's like, how can you screw that up?
+[1420.080 --> 1421.080]  Right?
+[1421.080 --> 1422.480]  You've had the jujitsu.
+[1422.480 --> 1424.960]  You've had the wet fish.
+[1424.960 --> 1425.960]  Go ahead and do it.
+[1425.960 --> 1426.960]  Do it for me.
+[1426.960 --> 1427.960]  Yeah, there you go.
+[1427.960 --> 1428.960]  I've had everything.
+[1428.960 --> 1429.960]  I've had the probe.
+[1429.960 --> 1433.840]  I've had the one where the index fingers halfway up my arm.
+[1433.840 --> 1436.480]  And I didn't know index fingers were that long.
+[1436.480 --> 1439.200]  First of all, and secondly, are we engaged?
+[1439.200 --> 1442.400]  How can you screw up a handshake?
+[1442.400 --> 1445.840]  But here's what's important.
+[1445.840 --> 1449.800]  We remember negative things for about 13 years.
+[1449.800 --> 1456.480]  It goes to that part of the brain that reminds us that we don't can't touch a hot stove
+[1456.480 --> 1457.480]  every day.
+[1457.480 --> 1460.640]  And that's why it sticks with us so long.
+[1460.640 --> 1464.360]  So the first time we touch, get it right.
+[1464.360 --> 1471.000]  Because when you get it wrong, just tell yourself, I'm going to remember it for 13 years.
+[1471.000 --> 1473.840]  Yuck.
+[1473.840 --> 1476.720]  Simple things like even how we point.
+[1476.720 --> 1477.720]  Right?
+[1477.720 --> 1479.960]  Point at me.
+[1479.960 --> 1483.520]  Oh, this is what it looks like.
+[1483.520 --> 1484.520]  Do you like it?
+[1484.520 --> 1485.520]  No.
+[1485.520 --> 1486.840]  This is what it should look like.
+[1486.840 --> 1489.040]  Let's all do it together.
+[1489.040 --> 1490.040]  Ah.
+[1490.040 --> 1494.480]  I just like I want to be with you.
+[1494.480 --> 1496.320]  Everybody point to the wall.
+[1496.320 --> 1497.320]  Just do it again.
+[1497.320 --> 1498.880]  It won't hurt you.
+[1498.880 --> 1499.880]  There you go.
+[1499.880 --> 1500.880]  Now with your finger.
+[1500.880 --> 1501.880]  Like this.
+[1501.880 --> 1502.880]  Like this.
+[1502.880 --> 1505.360]  Simon says.
+[1505.360 --> 1506.360]  Why?
+[1507.000 --> 1508.200]  Why?
+[1508.200 --> 1514.840]  Because the brain is prepared to accept this far better than this.
+[1514.840 --> 1518.960]  That's how sensitive our brains are to nonverbels.
+[1518.960 --> 1525.040]  And yet how many people we see say, why don't you take a seat right there and right away?
+[1525.040 --> 1527.640]  We hate that.
+[1527.640 --> 1532.880]  Take care of the little things because the broken windows, when you show you don't care,
+[1532.880 --> 1535.760]  other people will not care.
+[1535.760 --> 1538.800]  That's in your home and at business.
+[1538.800 --> 1540.720]  You see garbage outside?
+[1540.720 --> 1542.160]  People will dump garbage.
+[1542.160 --> 1544.200]  They see you picking up the garbage.
+[1544.200 --> 1545.560]  They'll pick it up.
+[1545.560 --> 1547.720]  They see you cleaning up your language.
+[1547.720 --> 1551.440]  They will clean up their language.
+[1551.440 --> 1553.400]  You stop wearing torn jeans.
+[1553.400 --> 1556.040]  They'll wear nice jeans.
+[1556.040 --> 1558.160]  You stop dropping f-bombs.
+[1558.160 --> 1562.360]  They will stop dropping f-bombs.
+[1562.360 --> 1571.640]  But the minute you don't care, other people won't care.
+[1571.640 --> 1577.200]  How many of you do presentations?
+[1577.200 --> 1581.840]  Always be framed by blue.
+[1581.840 --> 1585.400]  There isn't another color to be framed by.
+[1585.400 --> 1588.520]  And that's why you see what you see.
+[1588.520 --> 1589.920]  Always be framed by blue.
+[1589.920 --> 1591.440]  The research is ample.
+[1591.440 --> 1595.120]  I don't have time to explain it all.
+[1595.120 --> 1596.120]  What happened?
+[1596.120 --> 1597.880]  Yeah, we're thinking of people.
+[1597.880 --> 1605.320]  Oh yeah, that's the head of Xerox.
+[1605.320 --> 1606.320]  Simplicity.
+[1606.320 --> 1609.440]  Humans like things simplified.
+[1609.440 --> 1613.720]  They'll make it complex, the simpler the better.
+[1613.720 --> 1618.520]  Just when you write it, if there's one thing I've learned after 11 and a half books,
+[1618.520 --> 1621.120]  you simplify.
+[1621.120 --> 1626.320]  Simplify, simplify, write it, edit it, edit it, cut it down.
+[1626.320 --> 1629.200]  Does anybody know who Edward Edward is?
+[1629.200 --> 1630.200]  Nobody does.
+[1630.200 --> 1632.640]  And he was the most gifted speaker of his day.
+[1632.640 --> 1638.440]  The reason nobody knows who he is, and they should, because he was the president of Harvard,
+[1638.440 --> 1645.800]  and was paid to go give the most momentous speech of the day, which was at the Gettysburg
+[1645.800 --> 1647.480]  address.
+[1647.480 --> 1653.040]  But his problem is he spoke for two hours and 30 minutes, but then he was followed by
+[1653.040 --> 1658.800]  this guy, who basically tweeted.
+[1658.800 --> 1662.320]  Abraham Lincoln gave the first tweet.
+[1662.320 --> 1665.440]  He spoke for two minutes, 26 seconds.
+[1665.440 --> 1671.280]  He spoke so fast that they couldn't set up the cameras in time.
+[1671.280 --> 1679.840]  At its hiss speech, we remember, because of its brevity and its simplicity.
+[1679.840 --> 1686.520]  Next time you think you're clever, remind yourself we are not.
+[1686.520 --> 1689.000]  Keep it short.
+[1689.000 --> 1694.160]  Nobody remembers that two hour and twenty minutes speech, not one word of it.
+[1694.160 --> 1696.480]  No where, nobody.
+[1696.480 --> 1701.840]  But we remember four score and seven years ago.
+[1701.840 --> 1704.600]  Humility is huge.
+[1704.600 --> 1709.600]  And we all need a little humility check every once in a while.
+[1709.600 --> 1711.080]  Every one of us.
+[1711.080 --> 1717.280]  Every once in a while, you need to take a step back and say, do I need a little bit of
+[1717.280 --> 1719.040]  humility?
+[1719.040 --> 1724.960]  Go to that humility bottle in the wherever you parked it, take it out and take a little
+[1724.960 --> 1727.600]  you know, tablespoon of it.
+[1727.600 --> 1731.120]  Because we all need a little bit of humility.
+[1731.120 --> 1734.560]  And we all need empathy.
+[1734.560 --> 1740.120]  An empathy is tactile and it's present.
+[1740.120 --> 1741.120]  Remember this.
+[1741.120 --> 1744.040]  Empathy is not over the internet.
+[1744.040 --> 1745.360]  That's communication.
+[1745.360 --> 1749.000]  Empathy is tactile and it is present.
+[1749.000 --> 1751.960]  And it is powerful.
+[1751.960 --> 1757.200]  I still remember the day when Princess Diana picked up a baby that had AIDS and the world
+[1757.200 --> 1758.200]  changed.
+[1758.200 --> 1764.360]  The world's perception of AIDS changed because, oh my God, she touched a baby that had AIDS.
+[1764.360 --> 1767.000]  And like, oh, now it's okay.
+[1767.000 --> 1770.040]  Even doctors took off their masks.
+[1770.040 --> 1775.160]  Empathy folks is powerful.
+[1775.160 --> 1781.720]  And I've learned some things along the way because of our situation in my life.
+[1781.720 --> 1785.720]  Because when we came here, we were very poor.
+[1785.720 --> 1787.200]  Very poor.
+[1787.200 --> 1790.640]  And we didn't speak the language.
+[1790.640 --> 1797.280]  But I learned that there's five things that differentiates the average from the exceptional.
+[1797.280 --> 1802.080]  Not the average from the good and not the average from the great, the average from the
+[1802.080 --> 1803.080]  exceptional.
+[1803.800 --> 1809.080]  And I want to share this with you because I found these while doing my research.
+[1809.080 --> 1817.040]  And the first thing is we must, to be exceptional, we must have mastery over ourselves.
+[1817.040 --> 1820.440]  If you read the front page of a newspaper, every time you read about somebody going off
+[1820.440 --> 1826.520]  to jail or having a breakdown or this or that, they have not had mastery over themselves.
+[1826.520 --> 1830.080]  You cannot achieve great things if you don't master yourself.
+[1830.080 --> 1837.680]  If you can't focus and if you can't just plow through whatever life throws at you.
+[1837.680 --> 1841.880]  And believe me, my family had many things thrown at them.
+[1841.880 --> 1847.760]  You can't build a violin if you don't pay the price.
+[1847.760 --> 1849.920]  And the second thing is to be exceptional.
+[1849.920 --> 1853.840]  You have to be a good observer.
+[1853.840 --> 1859.640]  We are taught to look, but we're not taught to observe.
+[1859.640 --> 1863.280]  Most of us don't know what to look for.
+[1863.280 --> 1864.960]  We're not taught to observe.
+[1864.960 --> 1869.240]  And yet we know exceptional people are great observers.
+[1869.240 --> 1875.320]  They see what your needs, wants and desires are so that they can act on them.
+[1875.320 --> 1878.760]  And observing is not looking.
+[1878.760 --> 1884.880]  And exceptional people communicate with verbally and nonverbally.
+[1884.880 --> 1886.680]  Verily and nonverbally.
+[1886.680 --> 1892.560]  Not just verbally.
+[1892.560 --> 1897.840]  And they do it effectively with a purpose.
+[1897.840 --> 1899.000]  Effectively with a purpose.
+[1899.000 --> 1900.000]  Think about it.
+[1900.000 --> 1904.600]  What if you were to bring together these two powerful forces of communication, both the
+[1904.600 --> 1909.720]  verbal and the nonverbal?
+[1909.720 --> 1911.240]  Exceptional people act.
+[1911.240 --> 1914.480]  They're known by their actions, not their words.
+[1914.480 --> 1917.320]  They act immediately.
+[1917.320 --> 1919.400]  And they act ethically.
+[1919.400 --> 1924.800]  And they do it to accomplish whatever is needed at that moment.
+[1924.800 --> 1927.960]  They're undeterred.
+[1927.960 --> 1934.720]  I was in Washington, D.C. when a plane hit up a bridge.
+[1934.720 --> 1937.960]  And I saw one of my fellow bureau agents jumping the water.
+[1937.960 --> 1940.680]  It was three degrees.
+[1940.680 --> 1942.360]  He can sit there and have a debate.
+[1942.360 --> 1943.360]  He didn't wander.
+[1943.360 --> 1944.360]  Should I jump in?
+[1944.360 --> 1945.360]  Is it ethically?
+[1945.360 --> 1946.360]  No.
+[1946.360 --> 1951.280]  You do what you have to do.
+[1951.280 --> 1952.760]  Exceptional people act.
+[1952.760 --> 1956.400]  They get up and they meet you.
+[1956.400 --> 1958.160]  And they comfort.
+[1958.160 --> 1963.760]  You want people to come to you to spend time with you, to gravitate to you, provide psychological
+[1963.760 --> 1964.760]  comfort.
+[1964.760 --> 1965.960]  That's all we want.
+[1965.960 --> 1969.640]  We actually don't want perfection.
+[1969.640 --> 1972.640]  We humans don't look for perfection.
+[1972.640 --> 1974.960]  We look for psychological comfort.
+[1974.960 --> 1976.800]  There's a great picture on the internet.
+[1976.800 --> 1978.360]  I wish I'd brought it.
+[1978.360 --> 1980.200]  And there's a little puppy.
+[1980.200 --> 1985.640]  And there's a chicken hen right on top of it, providing it warmth.
+[1985.640 --> 1986.640]  I tweeted about it.
+[1986.640 --> 1990.000]  I said, love doesn't have to be perfect.
+[1990.000 --> 1993.240]  It just has to be good enough.
+[1993.240 --> 1995.360]  And you know what?
+[1995.360 --> 1997.120]  Psychological comfort is that.
+[1997.120 --> 2002.280]  What does this person need in the moment?
+[2002.280 --> 2004.760]  Love things.
+[2004.760 --> 2007.720]  Five things that I learned from my family.
+[2007.720 --> 2011.560]  This is right before, right when we arrived from Cuba.
+[2011.560 --> 2015.720]  But the most powerful thing I think I learned, and I'll leave you with this message because
+[2015.720 --> 2018.400]  we really don't have much time as this.
+[2018.400 --> 2019.720]  It doesn't matter what you own.
+[2019.720 --> 2022.240]  It doesn't matter what you make.
+[2022.240 --> 2023.240]  It really doesn't.
+[2023.240 --> 2026.360]  And it doesn't impress me at all.
+[2026.360 --> 2032.240]  Did one thing that I've learned, the only thing that matters, is how you treat
+[2032.280 --> 2037.200]  those who can do absolutely nothing for you.
+[2037.200 --> 2038.200]  Have a good day.
+[2038.200 --> 2039.200]  Thank you.

transcript/interview_JrbnTZPjg0k.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,169 @@
+[0.000 --> 7.000]  12 Things That Ruined A First Impression Immediately
+[7.000 --> 12.680]  Scientists have proven that we form our first impression about someone within the first
+[12.680 --> 15.040]  seven seconds of meeting them.
+[15.040 --> 20.120]  And there are definitely certain factors that can instantly make or break it.
+[20.120 --> 25.000]  Are you ready to find out what you should and shouldn't do in order to leave a good first
+[25.000 --> 26.880]  impression on other people?
+[26.880 --> 28.440]  And keep on watching!
+[28.440 --> 33.600]  But before we start, don't forget to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications so
+[33.600 --> 38.960]  that you'll always be the first to see all our new videos.
+[38.960 --> 39.960]  12.
+[39.960 --> 44.160]  A Week Handshake This point couldn't be more important for anyone
+[44.160 --> 45.960]  with an upcoming job interview.
+[45.960 --> 50.600]  A flimsy handshake can be a real first impression killer.
+[50.600 --> 56.040]  In his research, psychologist William F. Chaplin found that people with a weak handshake
+[56.120 --> 63.320]  are instantly judged as being shy, anxious, uninterested, or even completely incompetent.
+[63.320 --> 67.520]  That's definitely not how you want others to see you, is it?
+[67.520 --> 71.640]  Another common mistake people make is holding someone's hand for too long.
+[71.640 --> 72.640]  Awkward!
+[72.640 --> 77.320]  If you're going to give the right impression of confidence and capability, remember to
+[77.320 --> 82.080]  grip the other person's hand firmly and for no longer than two seconds.
+[82.080 --> 85.720]  That'll put you on the road to success!
+[85.720 --> 87.080]  11.
+[87.080 --> 91.280]  Keeping your hands in the wrong position If you're ever sitting in front of a group
+[91.280 --> 96.320]  of people, whether it be at a business meeting or some conference, you've got to be mindful
+[96.320 --> 98.400]  of where you keep your hands.
+[98.400 --> 102.480]  You can put them on your lap, but never keep them in your pockets because this gives
+[102.480 --> 104.960]  the impression that you're hiding something.
+[104.960 --> 110.120]  If you place your hands on the table, don't squeeze them too tightly or lay them flat
+[110.120 --> 111.880]  with your palms down.
+[111.880 --> 114.440]  This makes people feel like you want to control them.
+[114.440 --> 118.200]  Also, don't forget about the role that culture plays here.
+[118.200 --> 122.880]  While gently folding your hands on the table is totally okay in the Western world, this
+[122.880 --> 127.360]  position is considered rude in Japan and India.
+[127.360 --> 132.000]  Do your research on the customs and culture before you visit another country.
+[132.000 --> 135.920]  This will help you avoid any uncomfortable situations.
+[135.920 --> 137.240]  10.
+[137.240 --> 140.920]  Chewing gum You've got to admit that it's incredibly
+[140.920 --> 145.320]  annoying and distracting when you're talking to someone and they're chomping on a piece
+[145.320 --> 146.320]  of gum.
+[146.320 --> 152.160]  Click this irritating behavior into a formal situation or a first time encounter with someone
+[152.160 --> 154.760]  and it becomes even more inappropriate.
+[154.760 --> 159.880]  Chewing on gum makes you look immature, self-centered and somewhat low-brow.
+[159.880 --> 162.800]  So don't even think about it for a job interview.
+[162.800 --> 168.040]  You want to show your best qualities, not your indifference towards your potential employer.
+[168.040 --> 173.400]  On the flip side, a new study has found that in casual situations, people chewing gum
+[173.400 --> 176.960]  are usually perceived as more friendly and approachable.
+[176.960 --> 178.760]  So be careful with this one.
+[178.760 --> 181.800]  It can either help or hurt you.
+[181.800 --> 183.320]  9.
+[183.320 --> 187.600]  Avoiding eye contact Eye contact has an unbelievably powerful
+[187.600 --> 189.600]  influence on how we view someone.
+[189.600 --> 196.000]  A 2007 study showed that people who maintain eye contact during a conversation are often
+[196.000 --> 197.600]  seen as more confident.
+[197.600 --> 201.240]  Intentive, intelligent and trustworthy.
+[201.240 --> 206.400]  People that avoid eye contact, on the other hand, are viewed as less sincere, more anxious
+[206.400 --> 208.400]  and even unattractive.
+[208.400 --> 211.960]  It doesn't mean you have to stare people down like a creep.
+[211.960 --> 216.520]  Just don't be afraid to lock eyes with another person from time to time instead of constantly
+[216.520 --> 221.400]  looking around, especially when you meet them for the first time.
+[221.400 --> 222.400]  8.
+[222.400 --> 227.200]  Playing with your hair Statistic show that women touch their hair up to 18 times a
+[227.200 --> 228.200]  day.
+[228.200 --> 232.040]  That's fine if you're fixing it in the mirror, but if you play with your hair while talking
+[232.040 --> 235.320]  to someone, you could be sending them the wrong message.
+[235.320 --> 238.680]  First off, they might think you're flirting with them.
+[238.680 --> 243.000]  But more importantly, a person who toys with their hair during a conversation looks
+[243.000 --> 246.880]  unconfident, anxious and uncomfortable.
+[246.880 --> 251.200]  Traits that are especially undesirable in official situations.
+[251.200 --> 255.640]  And when playing with your hair becomes excessively repetitive, it can even be a sign of
+[255.640 --> 256.640]  OCD.
+[256.880 --> 260.640]  If you tend to do this when you're nervous, try to kick this habit.
+[260.640 --> 264.120]  It'll do you and your hair a lot of good.
+[264.120 --> 266.120]  7.
+[266.120 --> 269.400]  Picking the Wrong Conversation Topics
+[269.400 --> 274.480]  In order to avoid the dreaded, awkward silence, a lot of people are ready to talk about anything
+[274.480 --> 276.280]  with someone they've just met.
+[276.280 --> 280.400]  But you never know what subjects can make someone feel uncomfortable.
+[280.400 --> 285.200]  So it's better to play it safe and avoid the general taboo topics out there.
+[285.200 --> 292.240]  They include health problems, money, religion, politics, or personal problems and complaints.
+[292.240 --> 296.200]  Try not to focus the conversation only on yourself and your issues.
+[296.200 --> 298.480]  That's what therapists are for.
+[298.480 --> 302.320]  It's always a good idea to be attentive to your conversation partner.
+[302.320 --> 307.320]  A good listener is always highly appreciated.
+[307.320 --> 308.880]  6.
+[308.880 --> 311.240]  Invading Someone's Personal Space
+[311.240 --> 315.280]  Just as there are certain lines you shouldn't cross when it comes to conversation topics,
+[315.280 --> 318.000]  the same goes for personal space.
+[318.000 --> 319.480]  Experts put it simply.
+[319.480 --> 325.040]  The space between you and another person depends on your relationship and the situation.
+[325.040 --> 330.020]  There's a certain distance for close friends and family, one for informal conversations
+[330.020 --> 332.800]  and another for formal interactions.
+[332.800 --> 337.640]  When it comes to meeting someone for the first time, keep a minimum of 4 feet between the
+[337.640 --> 338.800]  two of you.
+[338.800 --> 342.480]  If you stand too close to them, you may come off as aggressive.
+[342.480 --> 345.920]  But if you stand too far away, you seem uninterested.
+[345.920 --> 350.080]  Just try to find a happy medium and stick to it.
+[350.080 --> 351.600]  5.
+[351.600 --> 353.600]  Mating Distracting Noises
+[353.600 --> 358.240]  We've all been in a room with someone who constantly taps their foot or fingers or
+[358.240 --> 360.440]  drums their pen on the desk.
+[360.440 --> 365.520]  And if you do any of these things, you're not only annoying everyone, no offense.
+[365.520 --> 368.760]  You're also giving them the wrong impression about you.
+[368.760 --> 373.320]  Being can indicate nervousness, irritation or impatience.
+[373.320 --> 377.440]  People might even think that you're purposely trying to irritate others or draw attention
+[377.440 --> 378.840]  to yourself.
+[378.840 --> 382.960]  And while cracking your knuckles can help relieve stress, it's one of the most annoying
+[382.960 --> 386.440]  sounds according to a survey by the New York Times.
+[386.440 --> 392.040]  It can be nearly impossible to control nervous tapping, but you have to try, especially during
+[392.040 --> 395.440]  important meetings or presentations.
+[395.440 --> 397.240]  4.
+[397.240 --> 399.240]  Checking Your Phone
+[399.240 --> 404.800]  In the age of social media and 24-7 access to the internet, we've become addicted to our
+[404.800 --> 405.800]  gadgets.
+[405.800 --> 411.540]  In fact, an Android app called Lockit collected information and found that the average person
+[411.540 --> 415.280]  checks their phone 110 times a day.
+[415.280 --> 419.840]  Even if you're just checking the time on your screen, it comes off as extremely impolite
+[419.840 --> 422.240]  when you do it during a conversation.
+[422.240 --> 426.040]  The other person gets the impression that they're boring you and you seem to have better
+[426.040 --> 427.040]  things to do.
+[427.040 --> 432.160]  A study from the University of Essex showed that even just having one's phone on the
+[432.160 --> 438.040]  table next to them reduces a conversation's quality and the participants' engagement.
+[438.040 --> 441.280]  So leave it in your bag or in your pocket.
+[441.280 --> 444.280]  3.
+[444.280 --> 446.800]  Forgetting People's Names
+[446.800 --> 450.680]  Probably the most embarrassing thing you can do when you see someone is to forget their
+[450.680 --> 451.680]  name.
+[451.680 --> 455.040]  And it's especially humiliating if they remember yours.
+[455.040 --> 459.820]  The steer clear of this awkward situation get into the habit of immediately repeating
+[459.820 --> 462.200]  someone's name after you've been introduced.
+[462.200 --> 465.080]  Like, hi Ann, nice to meet you.
+[465.080 --> 469.720]  Justifying this faux pas with excuses about having a bad memory or being terrible with
+[469.720 --> 471.440]  names won't cut it.
+[471.440 --> 476.120]  And when it does happen, just play it cool and try to avoid using phrases where you have
+[476.120 --> 478.080]  to name the other person.
+[478.080 --> 481.080]  That should do the trick.
+[481.080 --> 482.080]  2.
+[482.080 --> 483.080]  Being Late
+[483.080 --> 487.600]  So your best friend might kid you that you're always so fashionably late, there's nothing
+[487.600 --> 491.800]  to joke about it when it comes to first impressions and being tardy.
+[491.800 --> 496.440]  Running late to a meeting with people you don't know or have a formal relationship with
+[496.440 --> 499.520]  will shed a guaranteed negative light on you.
+[499.520 --> 504.120]  You'll seem like an unreliable and unorganized person that doesn't respect people enough
+[504.120 --> 505.960]  to value their time.
+[505.960 --> 507.960]  Nothing good about any of that.
+[507.960 --> 512.200]  So if you don't want that mess to be the way people view you, don't be late.
+[512.200 --> 513.680]  It's that easy.
+[513.680 --> 517.640]  Leave your house in enough time so that you don't have to run to your meeting.
+[517.640 --> 521.560]  You'll be all disheveled and unfocused and that looks bad too.
+[521.560 --> 526.000]  There are tons of online resources to learn better time management skills so make use
+[526.000 --> 528.000]  of them.
+[528.000 --> 529.000]  1.
+[529.000 --> 530.000]  The Wrong Attire
+[530.000 --> 534.760]  Whether we like it or not, people do judge a book by its cover.
+[534.760 --> 538.960]  And remember, they do it within 7 seconds of setting eyes on us.
+[538.960 --> 543.000]  There's not much you can say within this time, which proves that a lot of assumptions
+[543.000 --> 545.880]  people make are based purely off of looks.
+[545.880 --> 552.160]  In fact, statistics claim that 55% of the first impression is based on appearance.
+[552.160 --> 557.880]  What's more, studies show that your height, weight, hair color and makeup can even influence
+[557.880 --> 559.760]  the size of your paycheck.
+[559.760 --> 564.360]  So if you're meeting someone for the very first time, again, especially in more formal
+[564.360 --> 568.520]  situations, try to be conservative in your choice of clothing.
+[568.520 --> 572.800]  Be polished and don't use heavy perfume or tons of makeup.
+[572.800 --> 577.520]  You don't have to dress to the nines or anything, just look neat and well put together.
+[577.520 --> 578.520]  2.
+[578.520 --> 582.800]  What else do you think can ruin a first impression?
+[582.800 --> 584.960]  Tell us in the comments section below.
+[584.960 --> 587.840]  Don't forget to share this video with your friends and family.
+[587.840 --> 590.400]  They need to know how to leave a good impression too.
+[590.400 --> 592.760]  Stay on the Bright Side of life and we'll see you soon.

transcript/interview_M2NFhwHyNhc.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,201 @@
+[0.000 --> 4.840]  Where what you're going to use at the interview in advance and be comfortable.
+[4.840 --> 7.400]  Make sure that your handshake is proper.
+[7.400 --> 10.400]  Sat upright, good posture, eye contact.
+[10.400 --> 12.400]  But you are not staring them down.
+[16.560 --> 18.720]  The human body is always transmitting.
+[18.720 --> 22.400]  The question is, who is receiving that information?
+[30.400 --> 33.600]  The interview really starts before the interview.
+[33.600 --> 35.400]  Outside the door already.
+[35.400 --> 40.080]  When someone hands in a CV or their social media, when you're parking your car,
+[40.080 --> 42.720]  are you taking a space that is not allowed?
+[42.720 --> 45.720]  Are you greeting the security person that is standing there?
+[45.720 --> 50.280]  I remember going to an interview once and the person that was going to interview me,
+[50.280 --> 51.640]  was in the elevator with me.
+[51.640 --> 57.480]  Sometimes I give a CEO, the advice, sit down on that reception stool and observe the person
+[57.480 --> 62.480]  who's coming in because then you can also already see how they're treating reception staff.
+[62.480 --> 67.120]  We assess each other in milliseconds, not even seconds.
+[67.120 --> 70.360]  It's not just your body language or facial expressions.
+[70.360 --> 72.600]  It's everything that communicates.
+[72.600 --> 74.800]  Some people are making already judgments.
+[74.800 --> 79.520]  You have to make a good impression first by understanding that you have to make a good impression,
+[79.520 --> 81.720]  selling yourself, you're promoting yourself.
+[81.720 --> 86.800]  So that's why you need to be confident and be perceived as trustworthy, as well as competent.
+[86.800 --> 89.400]  Know what you're going to say, what they're going to ask you.
+[89.400 --> 90.960]  Prepare, prepare, prepare.
+[90.960 --> 94.160]  You don't have a copy of your CV and they refer to it.
+[94.160 --> 96.360]  You now look, let's prepare it.
+[96.360 --> 99.280]  And if you hand it to somebody, hand it with value.
+[99.280 --> 102.640]  If you do it like this, you know, a bit of the turtle neck like that,
+[102.640 --> 107.480]  completely different than this is who I am and this is what I've done in life.
+[110.280 --> 115.480]  As I walk into the room, I have to remember that I have to be respectful of that room.
+[115.480 --> 117.480]  Always make yourself known.
+[117.480 --> 120.680]  So you walk up to them, you shake hands, can I sit here?
+[120.680 --> 121.760]  Yes, you can sit here.
+[121.760 --> 128.760]  I have to make eye contact with everybody in that room and that I have to treat everybody equally.
+[128.760 --> 131.760]  I'm not focused on the chair that you want to sit in,
+[131.760 --> 134.080]  but focus on the people that are present in that room.
+[134.080 --> 138.840]  As you make your introduction, I want to hear a strong voice.
+[138.840 --> 141.080]  I want to see an upright posture.
+[141.080 --> 142.280]  I'm going to see the chin up.
+[142.280 --> 143.280]  Confidence.
+[143.280 --> 144.680]  No hands in pockets.
+[144.680 --> 146.160]  I want to see your hands.
+[146.160 --> 148.840]  I want to see you ready to engage in an interaction.
+[148.840 --> 151.760]  I will shake everybody's hands equally.
+[151.760 --> 155.840]  I'm not just going to focus on the highest status person or the leader.
+[158.720 --> 161.280]  If you asked most people, have you ever had a bad handshake?
+[161.280 --> 162.280]  They should.
+[162.280 --> 164.880]  We all have had those awful handshakes.
+[164.880 --> 167.480]  Yeah, it was wet, weak, this, that, whatever.
+[167.480 --> 172.760]  If we are meeting up for the first time, we align ourselves and that we have a short handshake,
+[172.760 --> 173.760]  usually it's like this.
+[173.760 --> 177.880]  If you're giving me a very light handshake, don't want to be grabbing at the knuckles.
+[177.880 --> 181.520]  If you're giving me a really strong handshake, I don't want to give you a loose handshake back.
+[181.520 --> 183.880]  I'm going to try and match your level of grip.
+[183.880 --> 188.000]  Especially when you're a woman, I've had so many bad handshakes
+[188.000 --> 191.120]  because of the strength that men probably want to portray.
+[191.120 --> 192.160]  I still don't understand.
+[192.160 --> 194.160]  People try and dominate a handshake.
+[194.160 --> 195.720]  Never try and dominate a handshake.
+[195.720 --> 201.320]  But what we do see a lot, too long, and they keep shaking like this all the time,
+[201.320 --> 204.400]  or they hold the hand, which makes it very uncomfortable,
+[204.400 --> 207.920]  or they probe the hand, which is like the finger like that.
+[207.920 --> 211.520]  Keep all of my fingers below your wrist.
+[211.520 --> 215.400]  So up to the point where they touch you here or here or even here.
+[215.400 --> 220.080]  And that we would not advise unless I know you very well, it's like, how are you?
+[220.080 --> 221.960]  You know, then it's like, oh, so good to see you.
+[221.960 --> 222.480]  Great.
+[222.480 --> 228.280]  Humans impress first visually, then vocally, tone of voice, then verbally,
+[228.280 --> 231.560]  and the last is haptics through touch.
+[231.560 --> 235.000]  The brain catalogs, all this negative stuff.
+[235.000 --> 241.280]  You have to let them set the stage and the rules.
+[241.280 --> 242.920]  Don't talk over them.
+[242.920 --> 244.160]  Turn yielding.
+[244.160 --> 245.840]  Does this person ever shut up?
+[245.840 --> 247.600]  Some people start talking immediately.
+[247.600 --> 251.600]  I am here for the job, and they start selling themselves, take a breath.
+[251.600 --> 254.880]  You know what you're doing and speak comfortably.
+[254.880 --> 257.320]  Depending on how many people you're talking to,
+[257.320 --> 261.760]  I would always wait just to let them take up the moment of interaction
+[261.760 --> 264.000]  and to tell them what they want from you.
+[264.000 --> 265.800]  Show you are engaged.
+[265.800 --> 267.280]  You are actively listening.
+[267.280 --> 269.320]  And you are in the interaction present.
+[269.320 --> 271.680]  Use your hands and use your face to emphasize.
+[271.680 --> 275.600]  As they're talking, I know you want you to be nodding along with what they're saying.
+[275.600 --> 277.760]  Not too much that you look like a bubblehead.
+[277.760 --> 283.040]  You want to have a slight head tilt when you're talking to them, especially when you're trying to show empathy.
+[283.040 --> 285.760]  When people ask a question, make sure you answer it.
+[285.760 --> 290.720]  Don't be so busy talking that you are not aware that you've been asked a question.
+[290.720 --> 293.440]  I want to see you orientated towards them
+[293.440 --> 296.560]  because orientation behavior shows interest.
+[296.560 --> 297.960]  Don't pick at your clothing.
+[297.960 --> 300.280]  Don't pick out lint and so forth.
+[300.280 --> 301.600]  Don't prune yourself.
+[301.600 --> 305.320]  Even because they are uncomfortable, you might see a self-hug.
+[305.320 --> 306.480]  You know, those kind of things.
+[306.480 --> 311.120]  And we so do not advise that the best conversations take place
+[311.120 --> 313.320]  with comfort for both parties.
+[313.320 --> 318.720]  I'm overly sat with my shoulders back and my chest out,
+[318.720 --> 320.920]  trying to be really, really upright.
+[320.920 --> 321.960]  I look like a robot.
+[321.960 --> 327.520]  If you are very comfortable like that, that is not a good portraying.
+[327.520 --> 331.680]  You will feel in your body when it feels unnatural.
+[331.680 --> 333.400]  Listen to yourself.
+[333.400 --> 335.520]  Feel comfortable and it should feel natural.
+[335.520 --> 338.560]  Everybody knows this, but a lot of people don't do it.
+[338.560 --> 341.040]  Don't be caught off guard with any question.
+[341.080 --> 342.480]  Have a trial interview.
+[342.480 --> 344.760]  Have somebody just ask you a few questions
+[344.760 --> 346.160]  and see how you come across.
+[346.160 --> 347.640]  And if you're clearing your throat
+[347.640 --> 350.640]  and you have to hesitate for too long,
+[350.640 --> 352.120]  people don't like that.
+[352.120 --> 354.000]  Hesitation is a killer.
+[354.000 --> 358.600]  When say thank you.
+[358.600 --> 361.800]  Show them respect by showing them.
+[361.800 --> 363.440]  You are grateful for their time.
+[363.440 --> 368.440]  Expect to say goodbye and shake hands, maybe hand out a card.
+[369.440 --> 372.200]  If not, you can just nod, validate everybody
+[372.200 --> 373.880]  that you had the opportunity.
+[373.880 --> 376.200]  This is the last time you have a chance to influence.
+[376.200 --> 378.560]  Remember, the interview is only over
+[378.560 --> 380.240]  when you are completely out of sight.
+[380.240 --> 383.520]  You leave the room with pro-activeness and a posture
+[383.520 --> 386.960]  that shows you're active or that you are energetic
+[386.960 --> 388.680]  to go for what you want to go.
+[388.680 --> 390.720]  Often if you feel it went really well,
+[390.720 --> 392.560]  people can completely relax
+[392.560 --> 395.200]  and they don't walk out the room with this much confidence
+[395.200 --> 397.520]  or as much poise as they came in the room.
+[397.640 --> 400.440]  You're only done after you're back in your car home.
+[400.440 --> 402.440]  So maintain that confidence level,
+[402.440 --> 404.760]  maintain that posture, maintain that poise
+[404.760 --> 406.440]  until you are fully out of the room.
+[409.600 --> 411.440]  When it comes to virtual interaction,
+[411.440 --> 413.080]  you actually add an advantage.
+[413.080 --> 414.880]  There's actually a lot more control.
+[414.880 --> 415.920]  Is the lighting good?
+[415.920 --> 417.360]  Is the sound okay?
+[417.360 --> 419.760]  Many people have learned the hard way,
+[419.760 --> 422.480]  not to use the camera that came with their computer.
+[422.480 --> 426.760]  Go out and buy that or borrow a decent 4K camera.
+[426.760 --> 429.840]  You are in complete control of your virtual space.
+[429.840 --> 431.920]  So you can make sure that it's tidy,
+[431.920 --> 435.200]  that you don't have things that are drawing attention away.
+[435.200 --> 437.400]  There was somebody applying for a high-end job
+[437.400 --> 439.400]  and in the background there was only liquor.
+[439.400 --> 441.240]  It might be in a kitchen, so you can say,
+[441.240 --> 443.200]  oh yeah, well, he's got liquor in the kitchen.
+[443.200 --> 445.880]  But we pick up on the liquor first
+[445.880 --> 448.000]  and in our brain we make an association.
+[448.000 --> 450.200]  Eye contact is really important virtually.
+[450.200 --> 453.800]  You just have to remember that everything is now exaggerated.
+[453.800 --> 457.960]  Your gestures are now reduced to 27 inches.
+[457.960 --> 459.600]  That's what most cameras capture.
+[459.600 --> 461.520]  They can't look at the rest of your body.
+[461.520 --> 464.200]  So there's going to be more emphasis on the face.
+[464.200 --> 467.360]  The other difficult thing with zoom is the technique.
+[467.360 --> 471.000]  So we have sometimes a delay of a question
+[471.000 --> 472.640]  and that feels awkward sometimes.
+[472.640 --> 474.680]  Like, can I talk already or not?
+[474.680 --> 476.240]  And you see the hesitation.
+[476.240 --> 478.880]  The turn yielding is a bit delayed.
+[478.880 --> 482.640]  That can throw the interview, interviewer or the interviewer off.
+[482.680 --> 484.440]  So you have to be extra alert on that.
+[484.440 --> 486.960]  When they are talking, look at the screen
+[486.960 --> 489.160]  and when you are talking, look at the camera.
+[489.160 --> 491.720]  What people often do is they look at themselves.
+[491.720 --> 494.400]  When we are constantly assessing our own non-verbals,
+[494.400 --> 497.840]  it's really tiring and it's really cognitively demanding
+[497.840 --> 498.680]  and draining.
+[498.680 --> 500.680]  So it creates what's called zoom fatigue
+[500.680 --> 502.600]  and that will affect our non-verbals
+[502.600 --> 504.200]  because we're going to show fatigue,
+[504.200 --> 505.720]  we're going to show disinterest.
+[505.720 --> 507.840]  In essence, the rules are the same.
+[507.840 --> 509.920]  The important thing is that you understand
+[509.920 --> 513.080]  that you have to be extra alert of your body language
+[513.080 --> 516.280]  because there's no room for interpretations.
+[518.960 --> 521.760]  The goal of any interview,
+[521.760 --> 524.440]  as the interviewer is information elicitation.
+[524.440 --> 528.800]  As the interviewer is to show confidence, competence and trust.
+[528.800 --> 531.520]  You're going to create a conversation with that person
+[531.520 --> 533.240]  or you're going to ask questions as well
+[533.240 --> 536.400]  or you will have examples that really apply to it.
+[536.400 --> 539.720]  You want to make the other person feel comfortable.
+[539.720 --> 542.920]  You want to make them feel that you are someone to be trusted.
+[542.920 --> 544.880]  How did this person dress up?
+[544.880 --> 547.680]  Are you close clean or do you have food on your clothes?
+[547.680 --> 551.360]  I mean, I'm relaying here what I've heard from HR.
+[551.360 --> 554.920]  They're assessing you because you're going to be representing me.
+[554.920 --> 557.720]  We may have a great brand name,
+[557.720 --> 560.000]  but it's your face, your presence
+[560.000 --> 561.640]  that's going to make that difference.
+[561.640 --> 563.960]  There might be 100 people applying for that job.
+[563.960 --> 567.640]  If you come prepared and you have a genuine interaction
+[567.640 --> 569.520]  with showing that you really wanted,
+[569.520 --> 572.480]  there's so much more chance in that setting
+[572.480 --> 573.360]  than, oh, I'm just here.
+[573.360 --> 574.200]  This is my resume.
+[574.200 --> 575.360]  You have to please hire me.

transcript/interview_M8LA10Tg1Os.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
+[0.000 --> 2.000]  I'm not a fan of you.
+[2.000 --> 4.000]  I'm not a fan of you.
+[4.000 --> 6.000]  I'm not a fan of you.
+[6.000 --> 8.000]  I'm not a fan of you.
+[8.000 --> 10.000]  Funny, I actually was just text my student with a friend
+[10.000 --> 12.000]  because I'm missing class right now.
+[12.000 --> 13.000]  You are.
+[13.000 --> 14.000]  And I'm a film class.
+[14.000 --> 16.000]  And it's so funny because they're watching American Beauty
+[16.000 --> 18.000]  today and analyzing it.
+[18.000 --> 20.000]  American Beauty.
+[20.000 --> 21.000]  What's funny about that?
+[21.000 --> 22.000]  You were in that.
+[22.000 --> 23.000]  No, wasn't.
+[23.000 --> 24.000]  American Beauty?
+[24.000 --> 25.000]  Nope.
+[25.000 --> 27.000]  What's the one with the Rose petals?
+[27.000 --> 28.000]  I'm not even that.
+[28.000 --> 29.000]  That's not you?
+[29.000 --> 29.980]  No.
+[29.980 --> 30.980]  Really?
+[30.980 --> 31.980]  No.
+[31.980 --> 32.980]  Really?
+[32.980 --> 33.980]  I swear to God.
+[33.980 --> 34.980]  Am I just very confused?
+[34.980 --> 35.980]  I think you are.
+[35.980 --> 36.980]  I think I am.
+[59.980 --> 82.980]  What's funny about that?
+[82.980 --> 88.980]  You were in that.
+[88.980 --> 103.980]  How is it, underYNC, about a year back?
+[103.980 --> 113.980]  Two months ago I think I might be able to open the sentence, maybe a lot.
+[113.980 --> 115.980]  Is this not you?
+[115.980 --> 116.980]  No.
+[116.980 --> 117.980]  Really?
+[125.980 --> 126.980]  No.
+[126.980 --> 127.980]  Really?
+[134.980 --> 135.980]  I swear to God.
+[144.980 --> 145.980]  Go.
+[151.980 --> 152.980]  Am I just very confused?
+[152.980 --> 153.980]  I think you are.
+[153.980 --> 154.980]  I think you are.
+[173.980 --> 175.980]  I swear to God.

transcript/interview_OvEci5Bjgd4.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,57 @@
+[0.000 --> 27.480] one.
+[27.480 --> 36.480]  You're job's a joke, you prove, you're not lost your way.
+[36.480 --> 37.480]  You know I could get him to forgive us.
+[37.480 --> 38.480]  I don't know.
+[38.480 --> 40.480]  I'm telling you.
+[40.480 --> 45.480]  I can do it.
+[45.480 --> 48.480]  Yeah, he can do it.
+[48.480 --> 53.480]  It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
+[53.480 --> 54.480]  Who knows?
+[54.480 --> 56.480]  He was like this crazy, I'd hairy beast man.
+[56.480 --> 62.480]  He was like a big footer, I'd get a year something.
+[62.480 --> 66.480]  Hi, just so you know, we didn't mean to fog you.
+[66.480 --> 71.480]  We actually thought you were like a yeti or something.
+[73.480 --> 76.480]  Hi.
+[77.480 --> 79.480]  So you like to shorten here better?
+[79.480 --> 81.480]  What?
+[82.480 --> 83.480]  Yeti?
+[83.480 --> 84.480]  Danny?
+[91.480 --> 93.480]  Beeps?
+[94.480 --> 96.480]  Hello?
+[98.480 --> 101.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[101.480 --> 106.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[106.480 --> 116.480]  If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you.
+[116.480 --> 119.480]  I'm fine.
+[121.480 --> 123.480]  Really?
+[123.480 --> 124.480]  Absolutely.
+[124.480 --> 126.480]  I'm fine.
+[126.480 --> 128.480]  Totally fine.
+[128.480 --> 134.480]  I don't know why it's coming out loud and squeaky, because really, I'm fine.
+[135.480 --> 138.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[138.480 --> 141.480]  Cause you're there for me, then you too.
+[141.480 --> 143.480]  Joe?
+[148.480 --> 152.480]  I guess Joey went home.
+[152.480 --> 157.480]  Oh, and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack.
+[159.480 --> 162.480]  Oh my god, Joe.
+[162.480 --> 165.480]  Oh my god, you almost gave me a heart attack.
+[165.480 --> 167.480]  Oh.
+[172.480 --> 174.480]  What best friend in my sister?
+[174.480 --> 176.480]  I cannot believe this.
+[176.480 --> 180.480]  Sorry, but it's true I love him too.
+[180.480 --> 183.480]  My best friend.
+[186.480 --> 189.480]  I cannot believe this.
+[192.480 --> 195.480]  I'm great.
+[200.480 --> 205.480]  You're mother walk, you let me taste like bees.
+[205.480 --> 210.480]  I'm rushing, let's put aside the fact that you accidentally picked up my grandmother's ring
+[210.480 --> 215.480]  and you accidentally proposed to Rachel and people do this.
+[215.480 --> 217.480]  I don't really know what that means.
+[217.480 --> 220.480]  I'm sorry.
+[223.480 --> 231.480]  And when it hasn't been your day, you'll meet your mother's even longer.
+[231.480 --> 234.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[234.480 --> 239.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[239.480 --> 244.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[244.480 --> 249.480]  Cause you're there for me, then you too.
+[249.480 --> 254.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[254.480 --> 259.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[259.480 --> 262.480]  I'll be there for you.
+[262.480 --> 267.480]  Cause you're there for me too.

transcript/interview_PCWVi5pAa30.txt

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+[0.000 --> 14.500]  Have you been to an interview recently, being perfectly qualified for the role, you've
+[14.500 --> 18.600]  answered all the questions correctly, but still been rejected?
+[18.600 --> 21.840]  Well, the answer could lie in your body language.
+[21.840 --> 28.200]  Recent studies suggest that only 7% of your communication are the actual words you say.
+[28.200 --> 36.160]  38% are certain vocal elements like your intonation, but 55% is your nonverbal.
+[36.160 --> 39.320]  Things like your facial expression, your gestures, your posture.
+[39.320 --> 43.080]  So this video is going to look at the messages you've been sending out with your body language,
+[43.080 --> 46.940]  and how to tweak those to make sure you're sending out all the right signals at your next
+[46.940 --> 49.520]  interview.
+[49.520 --> 50.880]  So think about your body posture.
+[50.880 --> 57.880]  A very natural thing for people to do is to slouch in the chair, or fold their arms,
+[57.880 --> 62.240]  and this looks like you're making yourself smaller, wrapping yourself up.
+[62.240 --> 66.280]  And the signal you're giving off to the interviewer is that you're defensible nervous.
+[66.280 --> 71.400]  Instead, open up your body, don't cross your legs or fold your arms, but engage slightly
+[71.400 --> 75.400]  forward from the waist, and this will give the appearance to the interviewer that you're
+[75.400 --> 78.160]  interested.
+[78.160 --> 82.720]  If you're juggling about a lot in the chair, keeping changing your body posture or you're
+[82.720 --> 87.000]  playing with the button on your shirt or the ring or other objects, you're going to appear
+[87.000 --> 88.880]  anxious and nervous.
+[88.880 --> 91.440]  And certainly the interviewer is going to be less inclined to have confidence in you.
+[91.440 --> 96.760]  So a really good tip is to first slow your breathing down, this will slow your heart
+[96.760 --> 101.040]  rate, and make you feel less nervous.
+[101.040 --> 104.480]  Keep your hand gestures steady and only to emphasize a point.
+[104.480 --> 109.240]  Palm upwards signifies that what you're saying is honest and trustworthy.
+[109.240 --> 112.120]  Touching your heart signifies that what you're saying is genuine.
+[112.120 --> 114.120]  Deeply, is a sign of confidence.
+[114.120 --> 119.000]  Conversely, classpin your hands is a sign of self-comfort and anxiety, so make sure you
+[119.000 --> 122.240]  avoid these.
+[122.240 --> 127.840]  Merring the interviewer is an effective technique, but it needs to be done very subtly.
+[127.840 --> 131.440]  Merring hand movements or positive gestures.
+[131.440 --> 134.440]  Waiting ten seconds though before you do it yourself.
+[134.440 --> 135.960]  You can also mirror your speech.
+[135.960 --> 143.160]  So they're vocabulary, they're jargon, the rate or volume of their speech.
+[143.160 --> 148.840]  People trust those that are similar to themselves, so this makes the interviewer feel at ease
+[148.840 --> 153.200]  and you're more likely to build rapport with them.
+[153.200 --> 155.880]  This is so important.
+[155.880 --> 159.600]  Interviewers often avoid the gaze of the interviewer or they look down.
+[159.600 --> 163.000]  But by looking at the interviewer's eyes, you're certain you're confidence, you're
+[163.000 --> 164.000]  trustworthiness.
+[164.560 --> 168.680]  Instead of staring at the interviewer, alternate your gaze between the left eye, the right
+[168.680 --> 172.840]  eye, the mouth, maybe every three seconds, just enough to see the colour of the interviewer's
+[172.840 --> 174.160]  eyes.
+[174.160 --> 178.880]  For panel interviews, make sure you look at everybody, but specifically focus your attention
+[178.880 --> 184.000]  on the person who's asking you the question or speaking at the time.
+[184.000 --> 189.240]  To avoid line signals, the main rule is avoid touching your face, so especially your nose,
+[189.240 --> 191.800]  your mouth, your ears, your sideburns.
+[191.800 --> 195.400]  These are all signs that will suggest to your interviewer that you've been dishonest
+[195.400 --> 199.400]  with the way that you're answering their questions.
+[199.400 --> 203.600]  So the handshake isn't obvious one, but so many people get this wrong.
+[203.600 --> 210.160]  It's the unspoken word that initiates conversation in any social or professional get-together.
+[210.160 --> 213.040]  To firm and you'll seem too dominant.
+[213.040 --> 215.800]  To weak and you'll seem under-confident.
+[215.800 --> 220.360]  Instead always initiate the handshake, match the interviewer's grip, apply the one,
+[220.360 --> 223.800]  two second rule, smile and repeat their name.
+[223.800 --> 227.960]  By putting these body language tips into practice, you'll begin off the right impression
+[227.960 --> 229.800]  at your next interview.
+[229.800 --> 232.440]  Now what you need to worry about is what you're actually going to say.

transcript/interview_P_SNAODLTxM.txt

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+[0.000 --> 5.120]  Hi ambitious professionals it's Linda Rainer of linda Rainer.com career strategist. I help
+[5.120 --> 9.360]  driven professionals like you to enhance your personal brand so that you can pursue a career
+[9.360 --> 15.840]  you'll truly enjoy. And in this video I want to share with you a few tips on how to demonstrate
+[15.840 --> 21.200]  good body language in an interview setting. This was something that was actually brought up by
+[21.200 --> 26.640]  a CEO client of mine during one of our sessions. He told me how he had just recently read
+[26.640 --> 32.320]  an article that talked about the significance of non-verbal communication in an interview,
+[32.320 --> 38.480]  specifically body language and how it impacted the interviewer's decision in hiring the
+[38.480 --> 44.080]  particular candidate. Specifically this article mentioned that there was an experiment that was
+[44.080 --> 51.120]  done where there were three parties involved. There was the interviewer, there was the job candidate
+[51.120 --> 57.200]  and then there was an observer. So the observer's job was to watch the interview as it was happening
+[57.200 --> 63.680]  but they couldn't hear what was being said by either the interviewer or the job candidate.
+[63.680 --> 68.320]  And then of course the interviewer's responsibility was to ask the questions to the job candidate
+[68.320 --> 73.360]  and go through the course of the interview. By the end of the interview the observer and the
+[73.360 --> 80.080]  interviewer compared notes and it turned out that they both came to the exact same conclusion
+[80.080 --> 86.800]  about the candidate. They had the same perception, they had the same judgments and they essentially
+[86.800 --> 92.880]  came up with their own observations of this individual, this job candidate. So what I'm saying is
+[92.880 --> 98.560]  the observer only watched in silence but they came up to the conclusion, the same conclusion
+[98.560 --> 104.960]  that the interviewer did. So what that means is that a lot of the times it really doesn't matter
+[105.280 --> 111.680]  exactly the words that come out of your mouth. It's not so much of an emphasis on what you say
+[111.680 --> 117.200]  but it's more of an emphasis on how you say it and how you're feeling while you're in the interview.
+[118.400 --> 122.880]  Now I don't know if they had a positive or negative impression of that job candidate. I didn't
+[122.880 --> 130.240]  even bother asking but the point is that you need to recognize how important your body language,
+[130.320 --> 137.280]  your energy and really the vibe that you give off in the interview is because it really does play
+[137.280 --> 142.320]  a role in determining whether you'll move forward in the interview process and get the job or not.
+[143.360 --> 148.640]  So in essence if you're sending out the wrong vibes but saying the right things in the interview
+[148.640 --> 154.320]  it still doesn't matter because how you're being perceived is much more than the words that are
+[154.320 --> 159.760]  coming out of your mouth. So here are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to demonstrating
+[159.760 --> 164.000]  positive body language in an interview. Remind you number one,
+[164.000 --> 169.920]  interviewers want to feel at ease and in order for the interviewers to feel at ease with you
+[170.720 --> 177.600]  you need to feel at ease with yourself. So a lot of people think that when they go into an interview
+[177.600 --> 184.000]  they need to demonstrate their enthusiasm and be overly excited and show a lot of energy
+[184.000 --> 189.520]  and the truth is when you do that it just comes off as fake. It's not as genuine, you're not
+[189.760 --> 195.440]  feeling authentic to them. It really feels like you're putting on a show, putting on a theatrical
+[195.440 --> 201.840]  performance and that's not the point of an interview. If anything they want to see someone who can
+[201.840 --> 208.000]  demonstrate their true self and so the way to do that is to get connected back to you who you are
+[208.000 --> 214.000]  to go back to that centered connected place within you and then let that confidence come through
+[214.000 --> 219.200]  and let that excitement come through from that place but it's not going to be an overly dramatic
+[219.200 --> 225.520]  excitement that's going to come through. It's going to be one where you feel good, you're excited
+[225.520 --> 230.320]  but you feel good about this opportunity and you're going to go in with that positive mindset
+[230.320 --> 235.680]  and because you're feeling good in yourself they're going to feel that energy too. So you have to
+[235.680 --> 240.960]  remember it all starts with you. You go back to yourself, ask yourself am I feeling positive?
+[240.960 --> 247.120]  Am I feeling good? Am I feeling confident? And if you're not then you have to develop a way to get
+[247.120 --> 253.040]  yourself feeling that way. You have to really practice at feeling good. That's the honest truth
+[253.040 --> 260.320]  because we've practiced feeling bad over our lifetime growing up into adults and it's really the
+[260.320 --> 265.920]  reverse. You really need to practice feeling good, feeling confident in allowing that to come from
+[265.920 --> 274.800]  within and out into the interview room. Remind you number two. You're the expert so be the expert.
+[275.520 --> 280.640]  You're the expert meaning you have what they're looking for. You have the technical skills,
+[280.640 --> 285.760]  the experience and the knowledge and the ability and potential to take on this role. So you have to
+[285.760 --> 290.880]  remind yourself of that. A lot of people think that they're going into an interview, you know it's
+[290.880 --> 297.920]  a competition against other people and they have to fight for their job and they have to, it comes
+[297.920 --> 304.000]  across as desperate basically but the goal here is to not see yourself in that way and see yourself
+[304.000 --> 310.480]  as someone who has a set of experiences and knowledge and skills that they can make use of
+[310.480 --> 316.320]  as long as they're willing to hire you. So you have to demonstrate to them that you are the person
+[316.320 --> 321.280]  that they're looking for in the sense that you are the expert in your specific field, in your
+[321.280 --> 329.120]  specific role. It's not about being cocky, it's not about being overly confident. That's you know
+[329.680 --> 334.800]  far this end of the spectrum and it's not about not having any confidence at all but it's about
+[334.800 --> 341.600]  being somewhere in the middle having that calm, confident tone in your voice and in the way that
+[341.600 --> 349.360]  you present yourself. Reminder number three. Be present every second that you're there. This is
+[349.360 --> 355.600]  probably the most important tip that I have for you and that is that you need to really be present
+[355.600 --> 360.960]  when you're going into an interview room. As much as you may have prepared, rehearsed your answers,
+[360.960 --> 367.360]  rehearsed your interview scripts and really rehearsed all your stories ahead of time. Once you're
+[367.360 --> 371.920]  there you need to close the books and really just be present when you're sitting in front of that
+[371.920 --> 377.360]  interviewer. The reason for that is because when they ask you a question they expect for your
+[377.360 --> 383.680]  answer to really resonate with them. They expect that the answer is going to be directly answering
+[383.760 --> 389.360]  that specific question that they've asked and I can tell you that a lot of people go into interviews
+[389.360 --> 393.600]  and whenever they're being asked a question because they're thinking of so many things that once
+[393.600 --> 399.120]  and they're thinking about the next question that might be asked that they're not directly giving
+[399.120 --> 405.760]  the answer to the question that's being asked at that point in time, the attention and time that
+[405.760 --> 412.240]  it needs. What happens is you seem as though you're not really listening to them, you come across as
+[413.040 --> 420.240]  being a little bit frazzled essentially like you're not present essentially, you're not connecting
+[420.240 --> 426.560]  with them and so the most important tip is to be present, be there. They ask you a question,
+[426.560 --> 433.840]  you take it in and then you come up and allow for the right stories, the right words, the right phrases
+[433.840 --> 439.600]  to flow through you and because you've already practiced it well ahead of time, which I hope you did,
+[440.480 --> 446.240]  then by the time you're in there, your subconscious is going to just start bringing the right words,
+[446.240 --> 452.640]  bringing the right stories for you to say in that moment and it'll flow perfectly but you have to
+[452.640 --> 459.840]  give yourself that space and time in that opportunity to truly tap in and listen and pay attention
+[459.840 --> 465.280]  to the person in front of you but also pay attention to what you feel is the right thing to say
+[465.360 --> 472.000]  at that point in time. So there you have it, my three reminders that will help you to demonstrate
+[472.000 --> 477.440]  the right body language in an interview. So if you're an experienced corporate professional and
+[477.440 --> 482.640]  you're thinking about making a career move and you're wondering what direction you should go in next
+[482.640 --> 487.760]  or you're thinking about improving your resume and would like some help on that or your interview
+[487.760 --> 494.000]  skills, feel free to reach out to me, I'd be happy to help, just simply go to lindarainer.com,
+[494.560 --> 499.200]  click under work with me and you can click under either career coaching services,
+[499.200 --> 505.680]  personal brand renewals, stand up, get hired or intuitive purpose coaching and decide which one
+[505.680 --> 511.840]  you'd like and we can talk some more. Thank you so much for watching, I hope you enjoyed this video,
+[511.840 --> 517.360]  if you liked it then please give it a thumbs up, share it with your friends and let them know that
+[517.360 --> 522.800]  this channel is all about helping driven professionals like you to enhance your personal brand so that
+[522.800 --> 536.960]  you can pursue careers you'll truly enjoy. Thanks so much, I will see you in the next video.

transcript/interview_TD884Dl-kLc.txt

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+[0.000 --> 10.000]  Hi friends, I am Laharika and welcome back to a new lesson.
+[10.000 --> 18.000]  Today we are going to look at 5 body language tricks that would make anyone instantly like you.
+[18.000 --> 22.000]  Now definitely it's important that people should like us.
+[22.000 --> 25.000]  It kind of boosts up our confidence, right?
+[25.000 --> 31.000]  So most of the people that I meet are very much in love with themselves.
+[31.000 --> 34.000]  Very much interested in themselves.
+[34.000 --> 44.000]  So how do we capture and hold their attention towards our conversation or towards us without saying a word?
+[44.000 --> 50.000]  Well it's a wonderful body that would help to capture and hold their attention.
+[50.000 --> 56.000]  So we are going to look at these ways to win friends and to influence people.
+[62.000 --> 66.000]  The first trick that I have for you is to flooding smile.
+[66.000 --> 70.000]  Please do me a favor, please smile.
+[70.000 --> 73.000]  Definitely it's very important to smile.
+[73.000 --> 77.000]  Now of course this doesn't mean that you keep grinning.
+[77.000 --> 81.000]  All the long keep grinning, that would not help.
+[81.000 --> 87.000]  That would not impress people either because they would think that you do this for everyone.
+[87.000 --> 90.000]  So not that impressive.
+[90.000 --> 100.000]  What you need to do is the moment you greet people, give a very positive, warm, responsive smile.
+[100.000 --> 106.000]  Okay so the smile should flood over your face and that would stimulate good feelings.
+[106.000 --> 114.000]  It would give a very positive feeling to the opposite person and will show that you are really happy
+[114.000 --> 118.000]  and you're feeling very glad to meet this person.
+[118.000 --> 121.000]  So do smile because it works.
+[127.000 --> 131.000]  The second trick that I have for you is sticky eyes.
+[131.000 --> 133.000]  So what are sticky eyes?
+[133.000 --> 138.000]  Well eyes are the most important part of our body.
+[138.000 --> 142.000]  And here what I mean is don't break eye contact.
+[142.000 --> 149.000]  Now when you are talking to someone, pretend that you are completely glued to the conversation.
+[149.000 --> 156.000]  Like your eyes are completely glued to the conversation that you're having with the opposite person.
+[156.000 --> 161.000]  So this brings a little bit of confidence in the opposite person that, oh yes,
+[161.000 --> 168.000]  he's listening to him to me and he's very interested in what I am saying.
+[168.000 --> 173.000]  So this would make him or her to like you instantly.
+[173.000 --> 178.000]  Now even when the conversation ends, do not just look away.
+[178.000 --> 186.000]  Okay what you need to do is reluctantly or slowly look away from that person that you're talking to.
+[186.000 --> 191.000]  So which means that don't break your eye contact instantly.
+[191.000 --> 192.000]  All right?
+[198.000 --> 203.000]  The third trick that I have for you is the big baby pivots.
+[203.000 --> 211.000]  Now here what I mean is people are very conscious that how a person would react to them.
+[211.000 --> 218.000]  So when you meet someone make sure that you turn completely, turn your body,
+[218.000 --> 223.000]  keep your head straight and your torso straight when you are meeting someone.
+[223.000 --> 228.000]  Okay? Now you don't have to just like look back and say hello to him.
+[228.000 --> 229.000]  That's not right.
+[229.000 --> 236.000]  So give a completely undivided attention like you would do it for a baby.
+[236.000 --> 244.000]  If a baby crawls up to you and you know is trying to seek attention of course with open arms
+[244.000 --> 249.000]  and with a straight body you are going to give him that undivided attention.
+[249.000 --> 253.000]  So that's what even every adult likes.
+[253.000 --> 257.000]  He will be highly impressed if you do that.
+[257.000 --> 261.000]  Complete attention is what everybody loves.
+[267.000 --> 271.000]  The fourth trick that I have for you is limit the fidget.
+[271.000 --> 280.000]  So here what I mean is if you want to appear credible do not move much when you are having a conversation with someone.
+[280.000 --> 285.000]  Not professional and definitely not appreciated by anybody.
+[285.000 --> 287.000]  So do not move much.
+[287.000 --> 294.000]  Also stop fidgeting with your hands like stop wiggling or even stop scratching
+[294.000 --> 303.000]  like many people have habit of scratching while they are talking or you know scratching in this manner doesn't look good at all.
+[303.000 --> 306.000]  So please stop that.
+[306.000 --> 315.000]  Also even if you are really tempted to look at your phone to see what emails have you received or what messages have you received
+[315.000 --> 317.000]  stop multitasking.
+[317.000 --> 322.000]  Please give or please be attentive to the conversation that you are having.
+[322.000 --> 325.000]  This would impress the opposite person.
+[331.000 --> 335.000]  The fifth and the last trick that I have for you is use your hands.
+[335.000 --> 340.000]  Hands the most important part of a body do use them.
+[340.000 --> 343.000]  Well do not cross your hands.
+[343.000 --> 348.000]  Crossing your hands or your arms shows disinterest or boredom.
+[348.000 --> 351.000]  Are you really bored of a conversation?
+[351.000 --> 359.000]  Yes, then you can cross your hands just kidding but do use your hands when you are talking to someone.
+[359.000 --> 372.000]  In fact I read it somewhere that when you use your hands while you are talking it helps active speech production which means it helps you to take those words out.
+[372.000 --> 378.000]  Your mind is set that you have to use these words or use this vocabulary.
+[378.000 --> 382.000]  So it's the hands that help you to take it out of your mouth.
+[382.000 --> 384.000]  So do use it.
+[384.000 --> 391.000]  Do not stand straight or do not cross your hands while you are talking to someone.
+[391.000 --> 394.000]  So this brings me to the end of this session.
+[394.000 --> 401.000]  Do use these tips because our body language definitely speaks out better.
+[401.000 --> 409.000]  People will like you if you end up using these tricks, if you end up using all your body gestures in a wonderful manner.
+[409.000 --> 416.000]  And of course do subscribe to my channel and you will be posted with lots of videos.
+[416.000 --> 420.000]  I'll be back with a new lesson for you. Till then you take care.
+[431.000 --> 434.000]  you

transcript/interview_VRJzvJ5XPQI.txt

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+[0.000 --> 7.000]  People that are supremely confident, when they enter the room, they feel comfortable in that room.
+[7.000 --> 16.000]  They don't hesitate to look around. Their gestures are smooth, but they're very broad.
+[16.000 --> 22.000]  And that has to do with confidence. And for a lot of people, this is very difficult.
+[22.000 --> 34.000]  I remember the great actress, Ellen Maren, saying one of the most difficult things to learn as an actress is how to walk onto a scene.
+[34.000 --> 49.000]  I've thought about that even in my career, how early on the difficulty of mastering that, how do you walk onto a crime scene, how do you walk into the public and demonstrate that I am confident and so forth.
+[49.000 --> 57.000]  We can all work a little bit on our non-verbal, so we come across as more confident.
+[61.000 --> 75.000]  When we talk about confidence, it's so many things. It has to do with our posture, the way we present, how we look, where is our chin, where are the eyes looking and gazing.
+[76.000 --> 85.000]  Our gestures are loose, but they're smoother. As we walk about, we walk as though we are on a mission.
+[85.000 --> 92.000]  I'm walking out to shake your hand, or I'm walking out to a podium, or I'm walking to where I'm going to sit.
+[92.000 --> 101.000]  So the less confident we are, the less eye contact we make, the less confident we are, the more reluctant we are to look about.
+[101.000 --> 116.000]  When I look at someone I admire, like Colin Powell, when he walks onto a stage, even before he speaks, he has total command of the room, and he does that, because he brings two things into this equation.
+[116.000 --> 126.000]  One is a tremendous amount of knowledge and experience. Plus, he has shaped and defined himself into a statesman.
+[126.000 --> 131.000]  We have to think of America as a family, where every member of the family cares about every other member of the family.
+[131.000 --> 140.000]  I think sometimes people mistake machismo or theatrical displays of power as confidence.
+[140.000 --> 150.000]  Confidence can be very quiet, Jane Goodall. Here's this ethylogist, very meek, very mild, and yet wherever she goes, she commands the room.
+[150.000 --> 161.000]  One of the things you notice is they sort of have this command of themselves, and in doing so, that command transmits outward.
+[161.000 --> 168.000]  The other thing that confident people realize is the temporal aspect of leadership.
+[168.000 --> 174.000]  If you're in charge, you're in charge of time. I'm going to take my time to walk out.
+[174.000 --> 182.000]  I'm going to take my time to answer your question. I will answer it in the pace, manner, and tone that I choose.
+[182.000 --> 190.000]  And in doing that, we are demonstrating that we are confident and in control.
+[190.000 --> 197.000]  Where do we get that confident voice? Where do we get those confident gestures?
+[197.000 --> 202.000]  This is what's called socialization. We notice the principle who acts this way.
+[202.000 --> 212.000]  We like this leader because of this or that trait. So I try to model their behaviors and say, this is a shortcut.
+[212.000 --> 217.000]  And if I have to work on my vocabulary, that's what high status people do.
+[217.000 --> 224.000]  If I have to change my gestures to fit in in this society, and then that's what I'm going to have to do.
+[224.000 --> 234.000]  That doesn't mean it changes me completely. It just means that this is what is required of me, and this is what I want to achieve at this moment in time.
+[234.000 --> 246.000]  I think of Carrie Grant. Here's an individual born in the UK, grew up very poor. And as he said in his biography, I became Carrie Grant.
+[246.000 --> 252.000]  I adopted all the behaviors that I saw from high status individuals.
+[252.000 --> 255.000]  Just think about that, but make up your mind.
+[255.000 --> 272.000]  And it is difficult to prescribe this, but one of the easiest things that we can do, if you're a woman, maybe you want to model yourself on the actress Kate Blanchett or some other actor and say, you know, when they're being interviewed, how do they look?
+[272.000 --> 278.000]  They look so confident. They look interesting. They have such a command presence.
+[278.000 --> 290.000]  You know, we're not born this way. These are things that we have to develop and say, how do I want to be perceived? And what can I do to achieve that?
+[290.000 --> 298.000]  Are there better behaviors that you can do? Here's a simple one. How many of you, somebody says, where they go and you go like this?
+[298.000 --> 306.000]  And as it turns out, this is one of the most hated signs around the world. And yet, if we just go like this, he went that way.
+[306.000 --> 317.000]  We're already perceived differently. Little things. I tell the story often of when I first came into law enforcement, they said, well, you know, you've got to get out there and make some arrests.
+[317.000 --> 321.000]  The first time I went out there and my voice just went really high.
+[321.000 --> 332.000]  Stop your under arrest. That sounds horrible. And you have to work at having that command presence where you say, stop right there.
+[332.000 --> 338.000]  Don't move. That's almost theatrical. Yeah, but it's what is needed.
+[340.000 --> 347.000]  So let's do this exercise. I want you to say, no, just go ahead, say it out loud.
+[347.000 --> 356.000]  All right, now let's do it right. Say it as I say it. No, no, no.
+[356.000 --> 363.000]  Do you see the difference between the way you said it and this way? Did you notice that your voice kept getting deeper?
+[363.000 --> 374.000]  But did you also notice that the fingers became wider and wider? The more confident you became, the wider your fingers were spreading.
+[374.000 --> 381.000]  There's a big difference between saying, no, stop and going, no, stop.
+[381.000 --> 392.000]  This potentiates the message. But to get to this, we actually have to practice it. So let's do it again. No.
+[392.000 --> 396.000]  Now go out there and teach your children how to do that.
+[396.000 --> 399.000]  I love sometimes selfies in the mirror.
+[399.000 --> 404.000]  One of my pet peeves is what we hear every day with what's called uptalk.
+[404.000 --> 411.000]  Uptalk is where someone says something and then they end making it sound like a question mark.
+[411.000 --> 417.000]  So it sounds like this. Four score and seven years ago, four score and seven years ago.
+[417.000 --> 427.000]  Our fathers brought forth on this continent. Our fathers brought forth upon this continent, a new nation.
+[427.000 --> 437.000]  My company has done research on this and we've asked CEOs and we've asked executives and some will say, well, you know, I've gotten used to it and so forth.
+[437.000 --> 442.000]  But when we ask them, does it really matter? They also, yeah, we'd rather not see it.
+[442.000 --> 453.000]  I get pushed back from people that say, well, you know, this is just the way that I speak and no doubt. But don't expect the same results.
+[453.000 --> 464.000]  We choose to go to the moon and disdicate and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.
+[464.000 --> 472.000]  Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills.
+[473.000 --> 479.000]  The cadence in our speech is extremely powerful for a couple of reasons.
+[479.000 --> 489.000]  One, we know that when people machine gun a statement, when they talk very fast, we are less likely to listen to them over a long period of time.
+[489.000 --> 497.000]  But when we talk in cadence, we are sort of held still listening to what will come next.
+[497.000 --> 503.000]  And I'll give you an example from that great speech Martin Luther King gave.
+[503.000 --> 507.000]  As you notice with the cadence, I have a dream.
+[507.000 --> 508.000]  I have a dream.
+[508.000 --> 511.000]  And then he pauses that one day.
+[511.000 --> 514.000]  And then he goes on.
+[514.000 --> 517.000]  And Churchill used the same thing.
+[518.000 --> 524.000]  Churchill's notes literally would create spaces for how long he would pause.
+[524.000 --> 534.000]  From stepping in the Baltic to triest in the Adriatic, and iron curtain has descended across the continent.
+[534.000 --> 538.000]  These pauses make people listen.
+[538.000 --> 546.000]  And one of the things that we teach is if you want people to listen to you, use cadence to get their attention,
+[546.000 --> 552.000]  hold their attention, but then look forward to what that next set of words will be.
+[552.000 --> 557.000]  It lets them know, at a subconscious level, this is the person in charge.
+[557.000 --> 567.000]  And we know that they're in charge because they have temporal control over this. They're not in a hurry.
+[568.000 --> 577.000]  So a lot of times people say to me, well, does confidence look like chest out, shoulders back, chin up?
+[577.000 --> 579.000]  Yeah, that looks pretty good.
+[579.000 --> 584.000]  But a lot of times, confidence is just sitting comfortably in a chair.
+[584.000 --> 589.000]  And that may have more to do with how much space you control.
+[589.000 --> 592.000]  It may have to do with the gestures that you use.
+[592.000 --> 596.000]  You probably notice that I use a lot of steepling.
+[596.000 --> 600.000]  I tend to interlace my fingers and so forth.
+[600.000 --> 610.000]  These are gestures that contribute to that communication that I'm trying to get across, that I am confident about what I'm talking about.
+[610.000 --> 617.000]  So it's not just about puffing your chest out, or certainly not about talking louder or anything.
+[617.000 --> 625.000]  It's about controlling my environment, but making sure that what I'm transmitting at all times is confidence.
+[625.000 --> 631.000]  And that means I'm prepared. I'm ready to answer. I'm going to answer you now. I'm going to answer you effectively.
+[631.000 --> 634.000]  And I'm going to make sure that you understand what I said.
+[634.000 --> 638.000]  I'm here to convey. I'm not here to convince.
+[638.000 --> 644.000]  A lot of times people who are lacking confidence are trying to convince you of something.
+[644.000 --> 649.000]  If I'm confident, I just say it once. It's this way and that's it.
+[649.000 --> 656.000]  I convey the information rather than sit there and try to beat it into you by repeating it 10 different ways.
+[656.000 --> 660.000]  Compare the gestures I'm about to do.
+[660.000 --> 663.000]  It's about temporal movement controlling time.
+[663.000 --> 668.000]  So the person in charge has the time to look up at their own pace.
+[668.000 --> 673.000]  The gestures are smooth. There's no hesitation. There's no quick movements.
+[673.000 --> 678.000]  There's no jitteriness. There doesn't have to be. I'm in charge.
+[678.000 --> 686.000]  When I feel less confident, I feel like I have to be in a hurry that I've got to look up and I've got to answer right away.
+[686.000 --> 691.000]  And there's a lot of preening behaviors and these are detracting from me.
+[691.000 --> 700.000]  I was really shy a few years ago. Probably this is changing a little bit.
+[700.000 --> 705.000]  People are horrified to speak in public. I used to be horrified to speak in public.
+[705.000 --> 708.000]  I still get nervous to speak in public.
+[708.000 --> 713.000]  But here are some tricks I found that you might find useful.
+[713.000 --> 719.000]  The first one is don't hesitate ever to say, you know what? This is scary.
+[719.000 --> 722.000]  Be honest with yourself. This is unnatural.
+[722.000 --> 729.000]  Number two, take refuge in knowing that if I sit down and study this material,
+[729.000 --> 732.000]  I will know it better than my audience.
+[732.000 --> 735.000]  The third thing I always do is I rehearse.
+[735.000 --> 741.000]  It really helps so that the first time you hear it in a forum, it doesn't scare you.
+[741.000 --> 746.000]  When it's time to do the presentation, one of the things I like to do is to warm up.
+[746.000 --> 754.000]  I find a good solid wall and I will just lean into it like I'm holding this wall up,
+[754.000 --> 758.000]  pressing against it just as if I were doing a push-up.
+[758.000 --> 763.000]  One of the things that that does is it releases a lot of muscular tension
+[763.000 --> 768.000]  and because I'm doing it very wide, it makes me feel more powerful
+[768.000 --> 773.000]  and I need to walk on that stage as though it's mine.
+[773.000 --> 779.000]  With full confidence, it is only then that I look at my audience.
+[779.000 --> 784.000]  Let's take a second to get myself together and to begin.
+[784.000 --> 789.000]  With practice, obviously you're going to get better and better and better.
+[793.000 --> 798.000]  Let's face it, people are not born confident. They're just not.
+[798.000 --> 803.000]  We can become confident with the assistance of our parents who encourage us.
+[803.000 --> 807.000]  We can become confident through our own achievements.
+[807.000 --> 813.000]  We can become confident by going beyond our boundaries,
+[813.000 --> 818.000]  but confidence is something that we can grow, we can nurture.
+[818.000 --> 822.000]  I have seen people in wheelchairs that are supremely confident.
+[822.000 --> 828.000]  I have seen elderly people in their 90s who are very confident.
+[828.000 --> 833.000]  I've seen children who are holding a violin with such confidence.
+[833.000 --> 838.000]  If you want to be confident, know your material, know the information,
+[838.000 --> 845.000]  hone that skill, work at it, have that mastery of things and of self,
+[845.000 --> 852.000]  and that's how you will come across as confident, no matter what your station in life is.

transcript/interview_cFLjudWTuGQ.txt

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+[0.000 --> 18.000]  What makes one an exceptional presenter? Is it flashy visuals? Is it the tone of voice? Is it the actual message or content?
+[18.000 --> 23.000]  Or does that have something to do with body language? Are gestures and our stance?
+[23.000 --> 30.000]  Today we want to talk to you about this latter point. How do we use our body effectively to communicate our message?
+[30.000 --> 37.000]  Because we have so many great ideas here, but if they remain in our head, don't actually link up with the audience.
+[37.000 --> 42.000]  Our message will not drive. We are a red message will not have resonated with the audience.
+[42.000 --> 47.000]  So body language plays a powerful role in how we communicate.
+[47.000 --> 55.000]  And unfortunately, body language can also distract. We've seen this clip before of Michael Bay.
+[55.000 --> 63.000]  He speaks, the teleprompter, he loses sight of what's happening, the telever doesn't sink up, and he struggles.
+[63.000 --> 69.000]  And all you see is his body moving around and he's nervous. He's exuding it.
+[69.000 --> 74.000]  So I want to give some color commentary as a rewatch, as a class. What is happening?
+[74.000 --> 79.000]  So his stance at the beginning, it's okay, but his hands, he's meshing them.
+[79.000 --> 88.000]  And now it's starting to turn from the audience. Again, his hands are clasped. He's looking a bit down, not at all of you, the audience, and he spins.
+[88.000 --> 95.000]  He shows his back, the audience. And he can't be getting composure. He's swaying back and forth. He's looking down.
+[95.000 --> 102.000]  He's avoiding the audience. His nerves are coming out. Again, his hands, he's waiting down.
+[102.000 --> 106.000]  And now I think he's looking at the back of the stage. That's the exact opposite place.
+[106.000 --> 113.000]  And where do you want to actually look? He's incredibly nervous, and now he exits stage.
+[113.000 --> 117.000]  We all want to avoid our own Michael Bay moments. When we communicate.
+[117.000 --> 122.000]  The last thing we want at a startup pitch or meeting is to have that happen.
+[122.000 --> 126.000]  Is to have the body language take over from the message.
+[126.000 --> 133.000]  If we lose sight of what our body is doing, all people can pay attention to is the body itself.
+[133.000 --> 142.000]  It'll take over. So that comes down to not only kind of distract, but the body language can, it is your superhero.
+[142.000 --> 147.000]  It can change, it's your superpower. Sorry, not a superhero. You're the superhero.
+[147.000 --> 155.000]  But it's your superpower. In the sense that we can utilize it to enhance and communicate with every person in the audience.
+[155.000 --> 162.000]  I want to talk about that today from three vantage points. Colin is going to get us started in talking about how posture breeds success.
+[162.000 --> 166.000]  Jung-Joon is going to talk about how gestures to strengthen your message.
+[166.000 --> 176.000]  Finally, Jennifer is going to close us out with how we think about the body posture of you, the audience, and how to interact with that. Colin, take us away.
+[176.000 --> 181.000]  Communication begins before you even open your mouth to speak.
+[181.000 --> 186.000]  Your audience's first impression of you is your posture and your position.
+[186.000 --> 191.000]  And so it's important to know both how to stand, as well as where to stand.
+[191.000 --> 196.000]  And perhaps it's fairly obvious that you should stand facing the people you're talking to.
+[196.000 --> 204.000]  Don't stand facing your visuals and turning your back to the audience. That's not what we want to do. We can't communicate that way.
+[204.000 --> 212.000]  It's also important to know where you're standing in the room. A position of strength in this room is somewhere in this center box.
+[212.000 --> 216.000]  As long as you're moving around in the center, you're doing pretty well.
+[216.000 --> 223.000]  Well, you don't want to be as often the corner of countering or especially in front of any distractions.
+[223.000 --> 229.000]  And this room is pretty good. It doesn't have that many distractions. But there is a window.
+[229.000 --> 234.000]  And outside this window, there are cars, there are buses, there are bikers.
+[234.000 --> 242.000]  And when I was standing over there, probably about half of you could see in your peripheral vision outside the window.
+[242.000 --> 252.000]  And if a car were to drive by your instinct, your reaction would be to look out the window and that would break your concentration in our conversation.
+[252.000 --> 254.000]  And we don't want that either.
+[254.000 --> 258.000]  And now that you know where to stand, it's important to know how to stand.
+[258.000 --> 272.000]  So we're going to demonstrate a few positions, a few bad positions that we've seen from us and some of you guys and even from the presentations earlier today that you shouldn't do.
+[272.000 --> 280.000]  And the first one is hands in your pockets. This comes off as nonchalant, your shoulders tend to roll forwards.
+[280.000 --> 284.000]  And it's very difficult to convey a strong message from this position.
+[284.000 --> 292.000]  The second one is hands on your hips. When your hands are on your hips, you tend to look overbearing and powerful.
+[292.000 --> 299.000]  And the third one is the fig leaf. This is where you're protecting your family jewels with your hands.
+[299.000 --> 307.000]  And while it also looks timid, it's especially bad when you decide to gesture from this position.
+[307.000 --> 309.000]  I want to show you something.
+[315.000 --> 318.000]  You look like you're flashing the audience. And that's not a good thing.
+[318.000 --> 320.000]  So how should you stand?
+[320.000 --> 328.000]  And if I could actually get all of you to stand, I'll lead you through a short demonstration on how to find your face posture.
+[328.000 --> 334.000]  So once you've stood, be mindful of the people next to you and place your feet hip width apart.
+[334.000 --> 339.000]  Close your eyes and look up towards the ceiling and lift your hands above your head.
+[339.000 --> 345.000]  Get a good stretch underneath your shoulders and let your arms drop to the side.
+[345.000 --> 350.000]  When you open your eyes, look down. This is your base posture.
+[350.000 --> 355.000]  Thank you very much for participating. You guys can sit down now.
+[356.000 --> 365.000]  Now that you've found your base posture, this is where you should gesture from and it's where you should return to when you're finished gesturing.
+[365.000 --> 370.000]  It may not feel the most comfortable, but it looks the most comfortable to your audience.
+[370.000 --> 376.000]  Remember that your posture and position are the audience's first impression of you.
+[376.000 --> 383.000]  But now that you know how to stand still, it's time to learn how to move.
+[383.000 --> 388.000]  Dressures are important because it helps you communicate that.
+[388.000 --> 393.000]  For example, if you use dresses, the audience remembers twice as much.
+[393.000 --> 400.000]  It also helps you with future speakers too because it helps your memory when you speak.
+[400.000 --> 409.000]  Also, besides the transition, your hand and arm movement is the biggest movement that the audience can see.
+[409.000 --> 414.000]  You can either use it wisely, or use it on random and distracting gestures.
+[414.000 --> 418.000]  I'm going to show you three types of gestures.
+[418.000 --> 425.000]  The give, the show and the chop. Here's an example.
+[425.000 --> 431.000]  This quarter at the GSB, I went to this communications class. It was so great.
+[431.000 --> 434.000]  I mean, you could feel that your skills improved.
+[434.000 --> 438.000]  I think this was the best class I've ever taken.
+[438.000 --> 442.000]  Let's rewind and see what happened. The give.
+[442.000 --> 446.000]  This quarter at the GSB, I went to this communications class.
+[446.000 --> 451.000]  So this gesture is used to give the audience the facts or the options.
+[451.000 --> 457.000]  Remember to have your palms up, not down. We'll get to that in a minute.
+[457.000 --> 464.000]  The show. I mean, you could feel that your skills are improving.
+[464.000 --> 469.000]  This kind of gesture has the largest variety and your imagination is the limit.
+[469.000 --> 474.000]  Just remember that the gesture and the message has to match.
+[474.000 --> 479.000]  For example, you can't say, prof is a rising, but the gesture like that.
+[479.000 --> 485.000]  So, congruency and creativity. The chop.
+[485.000 --> 489.000]  I think this was the best class I've ever taken.
+[490.000 --> 494.000]  So this gesture is used to deliver strong opinion.
+[494.000 --> 498.000]  You can either use it one hand or you can use both hands.
+[498.000 --> 503.000]  You can use both hands and do a larger chop which will deliver a stronger message.
+[503.000 --> 510.000]  So, next time when you do gestures, think about these three types and plan ahead.
+[510.000 --> 517.000]  Three types is the give, the show and the chop.
+[517.000 --> 520.000]  Huh!
+[520.000 --> 525.000]  I bet everyone in the room is going to remember this.
+[525.000 --> 530.000]  Just just work. That's the message.
+[530.000 --> 534.000]  Another subject is about having your palms up.
+[534.000 --> 537.000]  So, I'll give you an example.
+[537.000 --> 543.000]  People on the right, please rise and move to the left.
+[543.000 --> 545.000]  I'll do a slightly different this time.
+[545.000 --> 550.000]  People on the left, right, please rise and move to the left.
+[550.000 --> 554.000]  One more time. People on the right, please rise and move to the left.
+[554.000 --> 557.000]  You see the difference?
+[557.000 --> 560.000]  Which one do you think would make more people move?
+[560.000 --> 568.000]  The first one. Yes. According to the study, if you have your palms up, 84% of the audience complies.
+[568.000 --> 579.000]  If you have your palms down, 52%, if you have your fingers, 28%, never use your fingers at your audience.
+[579.000 --> 584.000]  It looks just arrogant and only politicians use that.
+[584.000 --> 590.000]  Clinton used it. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
+[590.000 --> 594.000]  It looks bad. Back then, looks bad. Now.
+[594.000 --> 597.000]  Never use your fingers.
+[597.000 --> 601.000]  And last but not least, avoid the terrorist gestures.
+[601.000 --> 609.000]  For example, people on the right, please rise and move to the left.
+[609.000 --> 613.000]  No matter what you do right, I mean it looks silly.
+[613.000 --> 616.000]  So, loosen up everybody.
+[616.000 --> 622.000]  Always remember that gestures are there for you and the audience to make a deeper connection.
+[622.000 --> 627.000]  So, while we've talked about the audience, now it's time to focus on you.
+[627.000 --> 629.000]  The audience.
+[629.000 --> 635.000]  As John June and Colin and Matt described, we've been focusing on the body language of the speaker.
+[635.000 --> 638.000]  But let's not forget, who's the real hero here?
+[638.000 --> 645.000]  As we learned in our first week of class, it's not me, the speaker. It's you, the audience.
+[645.000 --> 651.000]  But what happens when the audience doesn't realize that they are on this hero's journey?
+[651.000 --> 654.000]  Have you ever seen an audience that looks like this?
+[654.000 --> 657.000]  Have you ever been that audience?
+[657.000 --> 664.000]  It's okay, we all have. Whether we're playing on our phones, falling asleep and nodding off, looking at the clock,
+[664.000 --> 668.000]  and calculating, can we make an escape from this room?
+[668.000 --> 670.000]  We've all done it.
+[670.000 --> 676.000]  But the thing is, it's the speaker's responsibility to understand what's going on with their audience.
+[676.000 --> 679.000]  And body language is a powerful way to assess that.
+[679.000 --> 686.000]  As a speaker, we can be so focused on our own body language that we never even notice what the audience is doing.
+[686.000 --> 689.000]  And it's important to change that.
+[689.000 --> 697.000]  So, I want to share three strategies for how you can engage with your audience better by developing more observational skills.
+[697.000 --> 705.000]  So, first of all, absolutely, be using the gestures and body language tools that we've talked about today and over the course of the quarter.
+[705.000 --> 708.000]  But the second thing is to notice.
+[708.000 --> 712.000]  Of course, you're going to be looking for eye contact, but look beyond it.
+[712.000 --> 715.000]  Look at how your audience members are sitting.
+[715.000 --> 717.000]  Are they fidgeting? Are they moving?
+[717.000 --> 723.000]  Are they leading forward, looking engaged and taking notes? Or are they zoning out?
+[723.000 --> 730.000]  If your body language, your eye contact, and your efforts at being compelling are not working, then you can go deeper.
+[730.000 --> 735.000]  You can try to surprise the audience with a question or use some humor.
+[735.000 --> 742.000]  Or you can disrupt the audience. As students, we hate being cold-called, but we know it's effective, right?
+[742.000 --> 744.000]  Jason, what's your favorite color?
+[744.000 --> 745.000]  It was.
+[745.000 --> 751.000]  Okay, very good. You got that one.
+[751.000 --> 757.000]  As we all know, it's the fastest way to re-engage with a conversation with the speaker.
+[757.000 --> 764.000]  So don't be afraid to use it. It's so important to keep your audience on track, because they're the hero and it's their journey.
+[764.000 --> 769.000]  Remember how Nancy Duarte told us that we are the Yoda to the Luke Skywalker?
+[769.000 --> 774.000]  And our job as the speaker is to keep the hero on their journey.
+[774.000 --> 781.000]  With that in mind, I think we've talked about three concepts that really remind each of us about how body language is your superpower.
+[781.000 --> 784.000]  Use it. Become that superpower.
+[784.000 --> 792.000]  Become that superhero. And we welcome any questions you have on how to stand strong, gesture effectively, and engage the audience.
+[792.000 --> 793.000]  Thank you.