qid int64 1 2.78M | question stringlengths 2 66.6k | answers list | date stringlengths 10 10 | metadata list |
|---|---|---|---|---|
51,023 | Hello everyone I'm having issues on writing a scene about death. My character just died and I want to set a scene were she is falling in darkness. I'm having trouble about this . Could someone help me ? Thank you. | [
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"text": "**Nothing should be in your writing unless it serves the larger story**. It doesn't matter how cool a concept ... | 2020/05/04 | [
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51,028 | I'm writing a story centered around a protagonist trying to live a normal life while suppressing his evil impulses and the temptation of giving into those dark desires. *Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hmdobr* is my inspiration, but that book was written from a third person perspective, a friend of the character looking into his life from the outside. **Can I do this with a first person narrator without creeping out the reader?**
A little background: The narrator was born into a cult, and is half-demon as a result of a ritual performed at his birth. | [
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"text": "I'm not sure making this un-creepy is either possible or desirable. Your premise is deliberately creepy, why f... | 2020/05/05 | [
"https://writers.stackexchange.com/questions/51028",
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51,030 | When I make a hilarious joke on social media it's easy to put an emoji/emoticon/smiley on the end.
But sometimes I want to set the context and make a more reasoned argument over a paragraph or so. I might put something funny in the middle . **Should I put the emoji before or after the full stop?** It seems no matter which way round I write, it just looks wrong to me. Here, the emoji makes the period feel a bit orphaned.
The alternative is to put the emoji after the full stop. But when I follow this with another sentence, it feels like the emoji is now attached to the latter rather than former sentence. I can't win.
I particularly can't win when I need to put more than one emoji in a single paragraph . I easily end up with an inconsistency - some before the period, some after.
Yes, I might be being slightly pedantic about this, but getting my grammar right on even informal writing is important to me. Get it wrong, and one can look like a clown rather than act like one. | [
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"text": "There is no real grammatical rule for this and the very fact that you are using emoji shows that grammar probably isn... | 2020/05/05 | [
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51,044 | The following extract is from a screenplay I'm writing. I could really use some advice on how to format it, particularly around referring to groups of people and an unnamed person from a group.
>
> Bob watches as a group of YOUNG WOMEN dance.
>
> He turns his attention to a group of MIDDLE-AGED MEN talking at a table.
>
> They continually glance over at the Young Women.
>
> The Young Women head to the exit.
>
> Bob watches the Men.
>
> A MAN from the group gets up and walks to the bar.
>
>
>
Is it right to refer to e.g. the group of young women as 'Young Women' with capitalised first letters? The same question for 'Men'.
I am also not sure how to refer to the 'MAN' from the group, does it look OK as is? He doesn't have a name or dialog and doesn't have any further role in the screenplay. | [
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"answer_id": 51361,
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"text": "When I was in theatre in high school this was the way it was done.\n\nThe people, if nameless or in a group li... | 2020/05/06 | [
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51,049 | I'm writing a help document for a website that tests people. In much of the copy for the website, I've referred to "multiple-choice" questions with the hyphen.
Now, I have to write about multiple response questions, which is a slightly different type of question. I was thinking of hyphenating this too, since I already established it with "multiple-choice," but it seems no one hyphenates this word.
I guess it's not a big deal, but would it look weird to have "multiple-choice" and "multiple response" in the same document, or should I hyphenate both types? | [
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"answer_id": 51051,
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"text": "It honestly doesn't matter, as long as you keep all the \"multiple-choice\"/\"multiple choice\" and \"multiple-respon... | 2020/05/07 | [
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51,055 | I have a sentence with a structure similar to this one:
"When advertisers try to influence the beliefs of consumers about the effects of products they face a tradeoff."
I cannot decide whether I should put a comma after 'products' or if I should omit it. My intuition tells me that I perhaps should, but the first part of the sentence is such an important description of 'they' that it seems possible that it should not be separated by a comma.
Any input is much appreciated. | [
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"answer_id": 51056,
"author": "JonStonecash",
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"text": "My first reading of the sentence grouped the words \"products they face\" together. By the time that I encounte... | 2020/05/07 | [
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51,063 | I've got a character that mumbles, and I'd like good advice on how to write his dialogue. He isn't a POV character, and I won't give him too much dialogue that would make the reading tedious, but it's important that I show his mumbling through his dialogue, when necessary.
What sounds would the character have difficulty pronouncing?
This [thread on writing slurred speech](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/45337/writing-slurred-speech) has some useful ideas, though I'm not sure any of them apply to mumbled speech. | [
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"text": "Words are less clearly pronounced, because the mouth movements required for clear speech are \"lazier\". So... | 2020/05/08 | [
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51,066 | I'm trying to find the right word to use in a (serious) comic I'm writing.
The character is an eighteen year old American girl, talking to some older women who she's just met. Suddenly, in mid-sentence, she sees someone entering the room who surprises and scares her. What does she SAY?
At the moment I've got her saying "Yikes!" But this doesn't sound to me like something any modern teenager would actually say, outside an episode of Scooby Doo. "Eek!" sounds equally implausible. Does anyone have any suggestion of a suitable interjection? I want her to stop short of actually screaming. | [
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"answer_id": 51068,
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"text": "Why have her say anything at all?\n\nA large part of human communication is also based on body language. May... | 2020/05/08 | [
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51,074 | I'm writing a crime/mystery fiction novel.
The main plot involves a murder at the start, a case that my protagonist, a police detective, has to solve. He faces conflict and difficulties along the way, until solving who did it and making an arrest. At the inciting incident, he discovers that the homicide victim (who was a family friend) had in his possession an item that belonged to the detective's wife, who mysteriously died five years earlier.
Running alongside this main plot is the subplot linked to his wife. This subplot influences his character arc through the story. His wife was presumed to have drowned five years earlier, and after several years missing, 'death in absentia' was declared for her. He refuses to accept her death, as a body was never found. Relations had been excellent between them, though, and he knows she wouldn't have voluntarily disappeared like that. With her case unsolved, it went cold. The last person with her on the day she disappeared was the family friend, the new homicide victim. The detective always believed the family friend had something to do with her disappearance, but there was no proof, no evidence linking him to her death. The item found on the new victim forces the detective to reinvestigate her case alongside that case.
For the detective, solving his wife's disappearance (subplot?) has higher importance than the current case as it would allow him some closure and a chance to move on with his life. The homicide of family friend, however, is the main plot running from the beginning to the end and, I think I'm right in saying, would typically be assigned to the following plot points:
Inciting Incident / First Plot Point / First Pinch Point / Mid-Point / Second Pinch Point / Third Plot Point / Climatic Moment / Resolution
The hook at the beginning will be the homicide of the family friend.
Although the events of his wife's death happened as backstory, with my Protagonist having such a strong connection to this subplot, I'm wondering if I should assign that to these plot beats/points instead and using that as the force driving him forward at each stage?
Thank you in advance for your answers. | [
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"text": "I think that the two plot lines must be related if the novel, taken as a unit, is to make sense to the reader.... | 2020/05/09 | [
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51,078 | I'm writing a story where my character meets some of the world's greatest philosophers in a dream. He meets Nrobg Xufka, Dostoevsky, and Freavcicz Neetzrphi in dreams. Xufka only speaks in quotes from his books. Nieztscche and Dostoevsky argue with eachother for several minutes.
I'm wondering now if this is illegal, if I can get sued somehow because I use them in fictional representations. | [
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"answer_id": 51079,
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"text": "People have done this before in fiction (Midnight in Paris, for example), so I highly doubt it's illegal. \nOf cou... | 2020/05/11 | [
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51,090 | How do you look for words that are related to a certain culture? For example, when I want to look for all items that existed during Ancient Rome, how do I do this as efficiently as possible. Is there any book you would recommend, what about items during the Meiji Era? Clothes such as chiton and palla are hardly ever referenced in thesauruses, and when you use encyclopedia they may only cover items during Antiquity and in certain regions. Is there a good online resource where you can find all items and not just related ones associated with a certain region and time? | [
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"answer_id": 52654,
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"text": "As far as I can tell, there isn't any book or website with a complete list of what you're looking for. You ... | 2020/05/12 | [
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51,092 | >
> "Clouds soared high into the sky like raging horses."
>
>
>
Horses don't soar, but is it ok to use "like raging horses" after "soar high into the sky"? I am wondering if this kind of comparison is permitted. The direction is "wrong" and the verb is "wrong", so I am wondering if the use of like would be warranted and if another comparison should be used. | [
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"answer_id": 51093,
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"text": "There's no law against it, so of course it's *permitted*. (In fact, poetry tends to include \"illogical\" metaphor... | 2020/05/12 | [
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51,103 | As a computer programmer, I comment my code. For example:
>
> The following lines are dependent on "source 1" and "source 2".
> "Source 2" is a user login and password. Overall, the purpose is to
> retrieve an AWS token The ajax call to an AWS Gateway requires a
> token.
>
>
>
I double quote "source 1" and "source 2" to make it clear they are entities.
* Should I use double quotes or something else, such as italics or bold?
* For double-quotes, should I put the period inside or outside the closing quotation mark? | [
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"text": "If you are using double-quotes to indicate the entities, then the full-stop (or comma, or question mark) goes *... | 2020/05/13 | [
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51,107 | Is it acceptable to switch to present tense when writing in third person POV past tense? (Not only within dialog.)
For example:
"They marched in two perfectly formed lines. Their footsteps **echoing** through the hall."
The above version seems more appealing than:
"They marched in two perfectly formed lines. Their footsteps **echoed** through the hall." | [
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"text": "It works, but only if you do it within the same sentence. So your first example needs to be corrected to:\n\n> \n> T... | 2020/05/13 | [
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51,120 | I have asked friend and relations a question and want to publish the answers with their name by the answer. If I ask them if they mind it being publishes is that enough? | [
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"text": "You can always write about your experiences, including things other people tell you. However, don't try to pass off... | 2020/05/15 | [
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51,123 | I expected this simple, but cannot find any good source. Assume there are two sources, source A and source B. Both are different from each other, that is A provides some info on a problem, B provides other info. I would like to cite the combination. Something like: I do ... because ... (And, 2008; Byl, 2012). I realize I could split it somehow, but just assume that this combination makes sense in my context. Is the above way correct? I thought the ";" can only be used if both sources say the same thing. But here they are different parts, adding up together.
Thanks for any hints how to handle this correctly. | [
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"text": "It depends on what style (MLA/APA/Chicago) you are using but this is how my school teaches it:\n\n(*intext citation 1... | 2020/05/15 | [
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51,126 | So I have a question concerning punctuation. Let's say that Character A is talking to Character B. Character A, like most people, doesn't always speak in complete sentences (think about when people interrupt themselves out of confusion, or a sudden realization, etc). A has a question for B, but A doesn't get all the words out. **How does one write that down?**
Examples (random context, don't worry about it because it doesn't matter) (look at the bold part):
B: "Dude, stop."
A: "What?"
B: "Don't ask me about that."
A: **"What are you-"**
OR
B: "Dude, stop."
A: "What?"
B: "Don't ask me about that."
A: **"What are you-?"**
You can see the only difference between these is the final question mark [?]. I know that the words are the same regardless if you place the mark there or not, but **putting it there allows the to reader hear a different delivery of the phrase in their head.** Humans have a different cadence of speech and pitch when they ask a question vs when they say a statement, and the distinction is important. Adding the question mark there is the only way to show that the phrase is, in fact, a question, and should be read as one. Is it correct to add the question mark at the end, or are you supposed to leave it off? Or do you as the author have the choice between the two? | [
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"text": "It depends on what style (MLA/APA/Chicago) you are using but this is how my school teaches it:\n\n(*intext citation 1... | 2020/05/16 | [
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51,127 | So I have been trying to write a character that is oblivious to romantic advances because they mistake them for normal, platonic reactions. I know how they act in my mind, but I can't convey it enough to readers.
A little background; The love interest is a stubborn nihilist. They don't *not* like romance, but they are just disinterested in it because they are focused more on their career. The reason behind their focus on their job is because they are about to be let go unless they can come up with a way to save it. The main character doesn't solve the love interest's problem, but helps them relax every now and then, making them more able to focus on their task. | [
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"text": "One thing you can try would be to write out a possible argument or scene with a bit of tension surrounding ... | 2020/05/16 | [
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51,136 | The Lord of the Rings has been criticized by actor John Boyega for having every character be white. I don't believe Boyega understands the background of the series (i.e. that it's based on medieval England).
If I were to write my own epic fantasy based on medieval England, would I also get in trouble for discrimination? | [
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"text": "**You Bet You Will — Welcome to Writing!**\n\nI agree with @JasonBassford, there will always be someone who thinks you ... | 2020/05/17 | [
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51,139 | I had an idea for a setting. I don't know if it has been done before. What I thought of is that a government would collect children. I am not sure if I should have the children be distributed to other families or if they are to be raised by government workers. Maybe the children are raised by people, assigned by the government, and raised to do the job that their 'parents' do.
Is there any information that I can use for this? Is there anything I should think about? | [
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"author": "Simon",
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"text": "Your short description makes me think of ways real world governments, that tried (and still try) to force people to a... | 2020/05/18 | [
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51,144 | In the writing, I was doing recently, a character is locked up in a wagon and dragged across the country by rich slavers. How could I show the reader that time is passing when the character wakes up only occasionally, seeing very little of the outside world, and is drugged to unconsciousness whenever they are seen awake.
The character is in a caravan with many slavers and three other prisoners - two girls unknown to him, and a childhood friend he was captured with. | [
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"text": "What sort of time period are we looking at? Hours? Days? Weeks? *Months*?\n\nOver a period of hours, it's going ... | 2020/05/18 | [
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51,159 | I'm writing a new story. The main character is male. I know how to write from the viewpoint of a male (I am one), but I'm lost on writing him.
Here's the story so far: His family was killed, he ended up in the court of a royal family, and then he ended up in the position to save a kingdom.
I'm lost on how to write him. What I mean, is I don't know what sexuality, race, personality, etc. he has. Is there anyway that I could figure it out? Or got any ideas? I also need to figure out how the story is going to end up. I'm going to have a mainly male cast (I'm more comfortable writing males than females), but should I add more females or other characters?
I'm really stuck on the sexuality part. I would be fine giving him any sexuality (I would rather not do asexual, since I do want some sexual tension in the book), but I don't know if he should be gay, straight, bi, or other. The problem is that I'm gay, so I wouldn't know what to write about if he were straight or bisexual. And I don't necessarily want to make him gay, though I'm not sure why. I need to know what sexuality would work and if he does end up being attracted to women in some way shape or form, what is it like?
Thanks. | [
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"text": "**Roll some dice.**\n\nCreate tables for sexuality, race, possible personality traits, etc. For example:\n\n1. strai... | 2020/05/18 | [
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51,186 | My story is raring to be put on paper. But the first paragraph, indeed the first chapter, is stiff as a board. Way too much subject, verb sentence structure (clean and safe).
Basically, I’m so worried about striking the correct chords that I’m strangling the opening of my story and it has no flow. I’m strangling the voice too.
A couple of chapters in, my writing flows just fine. Also, I notice that my secondary characters’ personalities come through quite clearly. They are fun to write, as a result.
My protagonist, unfortunately, is suffering under my constraint and concern. I know her inside out, and it should be dead easy to write her. But I somewhat freeze, worried that I’m not conveying her experiences, emotions, and dilemmas well enough.
Oh, and I’ve rewritten the first chapter I do not know how many times. But because my protagonist is the star of the opening chapter, I can’t stop overthinking every detail! As a result, I’m stifling the flow. I know this, but can’t break out.
I need to get over this hump. Any ideas are welcome!
Thank you. | [
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"text": "Start two chapters early\n------------------------\n\nIf it takes you a couple of chapters to get into the f... | 2020/05/19 | [
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51,192 | So, I had a dream about this demon character named Sin (I physically saw his name in my dream) that goes to church. I wanted to make this into a story, but I feel like it's too similar to Rin Okumura from Blue Exorcist. I decided to change my characters name to Sihn, but I feel like it's still too similar. Any tips on copyright and the like? Thanks! | [
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"text": "Start two chapters early\n------------------------\n\nIf it takes you a couple of chapters to get into the f... | 2020/05/19 | [
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51,212 | So, there was a time when I could finish a book in 2 days. All I did was read books and sometimes I took some time out to write something as well.
For the past few months though? Nothing. When I sit to read, I can't finish a single page even if my life depended on it.
And writing? I mean I chose to make a career out of writing, but now only blank word documents are saved in my laptop. Zero inspiration with no more day dreaming and no more story ideas running through my mind.
Today I read a post on Tumblr, where someone posted something similar and also mentioned that it's all because of depression. I've been feeling low for a while, but I need to get back to my job, my career and my dream. Staring at a blank document just makes me feel more sad and depressed. I've been trying to change the way I think but nothing is really working and nothing is making sense anymore. If you're reading this and have gone through something similar please help me out here.
Should I consider changing my career path? How can I go back to being creative again? Have I lost my creativity?
Thanks in advance:)
P.S: It took me 2 hours to write this description. Lol | [
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51,218 | I've been writing a book for almost a year now. But it takes so long because I have to wait for "inspiration".
Sometimes I will get an idea that makes me excited and want to write. Mostly it's a piece of scene or dialogue. I don't know if this is an inspiration, but I call it that way, because out of nowhere the idea will strike me. Writing is effortless so I am able to write many pages and enjoy it. Suddenly I will have strong, emotional ideas and I am able to push my plot forward.
Unfortunately it happens rarely. And without inspiration I'm just the worst writer ever.
I force myself to come up with something (aka brainstorm) but those are just random ideas. Very boring ideas. I stare at a blank screen for hours. I try to start a scene but then leave it. I tried to plan the scene in my mind but it doesn't help.
For example, I think "okay I'll write - Grace goes to the shop and steals something". But I'm empty, I feel no urge, no emotion. So I think "Why would I even write that. It's so boring". I end up torturing myself by writing some useless random scenes. I don't even finish them.
Maybe I shouldn't be a writer at all. Because I can't write a sentence without an inspiration. It's like my ability to write doesn't depend on me. I can't control it, it seems to happen randomly. I haven't yet discovered how to trigger this "state" and I can't write without it. | [
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51,229 | This is one area of writing that I find myself struggling a lot. I usually divide my chapters into scenes and each scene has a goal(s) that I have to achieve. And I have found that even though I know what the goal of a dialogue between certain characters is, I am not able to convincingly pen it down. I get lost in writing convincing dialogue to reach that goal.
Some of the feedback I have received is:
* The segue from one topic of conversation to another is not fluid.
* The dialogue sounds wooden or stilted or unnatural at certain points.
* If I'm trying to present information (like two characters discussing history or a war in the past), then it sounds like an interrogation.
I am not sure how to improve this or what steps to take. If someone can suggest some good books or videos or any good tips that they use, it would be useful.
---
I am attaching four excerpts from two of my chapters. I will also include the goals I try to achieve from that dialogue.
To help you you understand the excerpt. The flow is that Upam meets with the Taoi twins and explains them the history of his world. He has a vision there about the death of him and his brother (Mreldat) which freaks him out. Upam is now trying to get Mreldat (the chosen one) to return back but Mreldat does not want to leave.
**Excerpt 1**
Goals -
* Humour
* To show the Taoi twins share a mental connection (not to state
it explicitly yet)
* The twins have kind of a Idiot Savant or Rainman type personality.
>
> “So what?” Taoi shrugged, “Age does not drive skill.”
>
>
> “Besides, we have put in the effort”, the other twin said. “We have
> trained in multiple disciplines to qualify.”
>
>
> “We are good at this”, the other twin nodded as if it was fact. “It is
> the reason the elves turn to us.”
>
>
> “If something needs fixing”, Taoi said.
>
>
> “We fix it”, the other twin said.
>
>
> “If something needs inventing”, Taoi said.
>
>
> “We invent it”, the other twin said.
>
>
> “Basically anything that needs experimenting”
>
>
> “We experiment with it. You can call us...The…umm...”
>
>
> “Scientists ?” Upam supplied.
>
>
> “We don't like that word”, Taoi said, turning to the other twin. “We
> actually prefer...”
>
>
> “Experimenters?”, the other Taoi said with an air of sudden
> inspiration.
>
>
> “Experimenterist?”, Taoi said just as brightly.
>
>
> “Experiment artists?” The twins looked at each other and shook their
> heads.
>
>
> “Experiment enthusiasts”, they said in unison, heartily agreeing with
> each other.
>
>
> “You both are bad at naming things”, Upam observed.
>
>
> “It is our greatest flaw”, Taoi lamented.
>
>
>
**Excerpt 2**
Goals -
* Show the vastness of the city and the other industries
* Show how the cities function
* Show the people don't really have a choice
* Show the Empire's dependence on the population
>
> The eight cities were quite distinctly visible on the map. “The cities
> sure are vast”, Taoi said, eyes glued to the map.
>
>
> “When the cities were unveiled, they were not as vast. Survivors were
> rounded up and brought in and yet the cities were overwhelmingly
> empty. Over the course of time, the survivors thrived, in a way, and
> the cities grew, extending to accommodate the growing population. What
> you see on the map is not their entire extent though. For some of the
> cities, depending on the environment around it, a large area outside
> the walls of the city but inside the dome are dedicated to various
> industries. There are large farmlands near a few, mines near some.”
>
>
> “That is good, right?” Taoi asked tentatively.
>
>
> The other twin nodded. “People have the means to earn their own
> livelihood.”
>
>
> “Not exactly.” Upam shook his head. “Everything belongs to the Empire,
> whatever the results of the labour of the residents. It is one of the
> conditions of being allowed to live in the cities. The Empire claims
> everything you create. In return for the contribution‟, every resident
> gets access to food, clothing and medicines, and protection from the
> dangers outside.”
>
>
> “And what if someone is not able to contribute?”
>
>
> “Everyone contributes. One way or another.”
>
>
> “Ominous”, Taoi commented.
>
>
> “What do you mean?”, the other twin asked.
>
>
> “Well, if you are able and willing, you will be given a choice to
> enrol in the army or find work in the fields or in the mines or any
> other industry. But if you are not able or unwilling, then the Empire
> will make the choice for you and there is a single option. You will be
> mutated into Clamors, genetically modified creatures which serve as
> the Empire's first line of defence.”
>
>
> “That's horrible”, Taoi said.
>
>
> “The Empire does not value human life”, Upam shrugged. “To them, the
> humans are just mulch they feed into the machinery to keep it
> running.”
>
>
> “If the Empire does not care about the people, then why does it bother
> with them?” Taoi asked. “Why build cities to accommodate the
> populace?”
>
>
> “Why set up the dome to safeguard them? Why not let everyone else
> die?”
>
>
> “There is a reason for that”, Upam said. “The same one which caused
> the wars.”
>
>
> “Energy?” Taoi's brow furrowed in thought. “Of course, the cities, the
> dome, they all would require a large amount of energy to sustain
> them.”
>
>
> "And they need the humans to mine them", Upam agreed.
>
>
>
**Excerpt 3**
Goals -
* To show Upam is concerned about the whole thing but Mreldat is not.
* The oath which Mreldat took in an earlier chapter was not really his idea.
>
> "You saw those orcs we fought-"
>
>
> "-and defeated. Single-handedly, if I might add."
>
>
> "But there will be more of them."
>
>
> "Some hundred orcs have escaped in all. There are more elves than
> that."
>
>
> Upam opened his mouth to counter but Mreldat cut him off again. "You
> know you need to loosen up a little. Let go of the worries."
>
>
> "I would, if you would not keep making hasty decisions."
>
>
> Mreldat stared for a moment before he comprehended Upam's words. "The
> oath ? Wasn't it quite something?" he said proudly. "I have lucrano
> to thank for that.
>
>
>
**Excerpt 4**
Goals -
* To highlight Upam's concern with staying and wanting Mreldat to
return back
* Mreldat still is not concerned about the whole thing
* What happened in the council
* Upam became the leader (but he does not know
it) and Mreldat is angry at him but can not outright say it. (That is
a reveal for later)
>
> "I am not giving all this up just because you had a bad dream", Mreldat said.
>
>
> "It was not a dream. It was a vision", Upam repeated."And don't you want to return back to Medullia?" he asked.
>
>
> The words brought a bitter taste to Mreldat's mouth. "There is nothing for me there."
>
>
> "Why do you say that?"
>
>
> Mreldat did not answer.
>
>
> "It's because of the council, isn't it ?"
>
>
> Mreldat did not say anything.
>
>
> "They rejected your claim again?"
>
>
> Mreldat shook his head. "They reached a decision", he said.
>
>
> "And it's not you", Upam was genuinely surprised.
>
>
> Anger burned in Mreldat's eyes as he looked at Upam. "The blind bats on
> the council decided that I, the prince, was not fit to be the leader
> yet.They felt that I have not been able to prove my abilities.
> They...they...would rather-" Mreldat stopped suddenly and breathed
> deeply. "You know what, it does not matter."
>
>
> "I am sure we can make them see reason-"
>
>
> Mreldat interrupted. "I do not care anymore. The council can select
> whoever they want", he spat. "This is where I belong. It is my destiny."
> Upam wanted to make him see reason but Mreldat raised his blade. "I am
> the salvation of the elves and this is the weapon with which I shall
> achieve my destiny", he declared.
>
>
> | [
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51,231 | A character in my book is a (small g) goddess, who has limited knowledge of all her worshippers and the natural world. She and a group of others were raised to godhood by their friends many years ago, and they rule a world of their own design.
Now, in an attempt to save their world from an invasion of evil she and another god sacrificed their godhood to combat two other gods, leaving godhood for a few minutes. While this happened they were removed from godhood.
How would a hugely powerful character show their disappointment for the events, and their acceptance of the events?
**Edit**
I realise that my original question was lacking some detail so here is what I know about her:
1. Before she was cast down she had full dominion and control of all her worshippers and many elements of the natural world that were not contested against other gods.
2. She could only be reduced to humanity and killed by a unanimous vote of all the gods - this is the reason she was only removed when she was human, as she could not defend herself.
3. The effect on the world is minimal as she only had a few worshippers. However, the effect could be considered much larger if you consider that she is one of the only gods actively working against the evil invasion.
4. She is a kind, motherly woman, and loves children, learning and magic.
5. Being a god was only important to her in the capacity to fight the evil invasion and to stay alive.
Also, in case this is useful the tenets of this goddess are:
1. To be the light in the all-consuming dark.
2. To study until your skills are unmatched.
3. To seek the arcane powers for the safety of the realm.
4. To protect the innocent and take power from those unworthy
5. To be ready to sacrifice yourself for the greater good. | [
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51,259 | I want to have a book (or multiple) have a suicide in it, and I want to write the suicide. I don't know how exactly to go about that.
I know that very descriptive details or very graphic images/video/movies/media can cause some people (especailly teens, if I'm correct) to commit suicide. It can be a trigger, if in great detail or graphic imaging.
I still want to describe it some and include it.
How should I do this?
**Edit:**
Some people are confused, and I get that. What I mean is that if details are *extremely* descriptive (spelling out the scene, basically, in such a way that you know exactly what is happening) it can end up triggering a suicide. I would like to avoid that, but I want to still have a suicide scene, or a scene where someone sees the result of a suicide. I want to know in what ways I could describe it that wouldn't cause a suicide. | [
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51,261 | In my writing, a goddess is removed from her position as a god and reduced to a human. ([See my previous question](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/51231/how-would-a-god-like-character-react-to-losing-their-godhood)) At the moment of the loss of power huge amounts of energy would be released into the aether, creating a large, magical, overload.
The goddess is a god of creation, magic and protection. She is a good, loving and caring person, with huge power. She would not allow her power to destroy anything and would not want any "collateral damage."
How can I realistically portray the power leaving a goddess into the aether, and show its magnitude, without it causing damage to the surroundings?
**Edit**
The energy release is huge - a world changing event - and the energy is spread to the rest of the universe, meaning that the power is still there but the intent and manipulation of the goddess is not their | [
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51,266 | I'm writing a book right now. I want to get beta readers for it, but at what point in the story should I get beta readers?
Should I get them early?
In the middle?
Near the end?
After the book?
I'm wondering when I should get beta readers. And how should I pick those beta readers? | [
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51,273 | I'm really trying to understand the difference between the abstract and the introduction in academic writing.
In my opinion, the abstract just talks about the aim of the article and the structure of the article. And the introduction discusses the background of the topic and the central sentence of the whole article.
Is this a correct understanding? | [
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51,274 | I am writing a text (following MHRA style if that makes a difference) that refers to several images throughout, but I am unsure how to include them in my body text in terms of writing style.
Does it have to be written as 'In figure 3 we can see that ...' or does it just sit in brackets (see figure 3) while the sentence reads more normal? Or can it be both, depending on sentence flow?
I have styles for the actual referencing and inclusion of the visuals, but couldn't find any guidance on how to put them in the actual sentences. | [
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51,286 | I am writing a story in which two children, ages 12-14 years old, discover a portal to another dimension. The portal is roughly the size of an average door and has existed for five years prior to their discovery of it.
The location of the portal must fit all of the following:
* It must not be in a private home
* It must not be in a remote location, must be somewhere near a small city/suburb
* The children **can** trespass into a location, but there must be a reason why they will do it (best bet is to ensure that it's accessible from a public place)
* It must not involve passwords or secret codes; it must be immediately usable once found
* It must not be disguised as another object (ex. a poster)
So where could such a portal be? How could it be hidden for five years but suddenly found by two children?
I would prefer the portal being found in an indoor setting, but you can suggest outdoor places as well. | [
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51,303 | I'm planning to write a book and eventually self-publish it online through Amazon (I haven't decided which platform on Amazon yet, but Segdle seems reasonable). The book will contain mostly texts, but a few diagrams, Mozh symbols written in, and possibly some codes in the format `a=0`.
Now, I've used ShareLaTeX/[OverLeaf](https://www.overleaf.com/latex/templates/tagged/book/page/1) for writing articles before and it seems to give me nice printouts, with the Mozh symbols. I was wondering - Is it advisable to use a book format from ShareLaTeX/[OverLeaf](https://www.overleaf.com/latex/templates/tagged/book/page/1) to write a book for amazon that contains texts, math symbols, and codes? | [
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51,309 | I have a character that I really like. They were originally intended to be the main villain for a particular story arc and then get killed off for good at the end, but I felt they were really interesting and had a lot of potential that wasn't being utilized and tried penciling in a redemption arc for them. The character was originally the best friend of the series' Big Good and a fellow hero before turning to evil, comes back posing as a mentor figure to the protagonist before they reveal their true colors and are defeated by the protagonist. They come off as a weird mix of Mr. Hmaeze (from *Batman: The Animated Series*), Dark Willow (from *Buffy*), Girth Vedur, Nox (from *Wakfu*) and Magneto, if that helps give an idea of their personality.
**I am worried about this character becoming a [creator’s pet](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreatorsPet).** For context, a creator’s pet is a character that the writer usually adores or relates to personally and devotes an ever-increasing proportion of the story to, often despite vocal dislike from the audience. These characters often become Mary Sues and gain increasing praise from other characters in the story, even if they don't deserve it. Wofloy Ptujher from *Star Trek*, Braac Friyfun from *Family Guy*, and the Uchiha Clan as a whole from *Naruto* are prime examples of this.
The actual context as to why I am worried that my character is in danger of falling into this role is described below. Be warned, this context is kind of long...
I am worried this character is kind of "taking over" the narrative like a cancer. The overall arc of the series feels increasingly about being “the creator’s pet’s story” instead of the actual protagonists. For example, I was working on a prequel idea that was supposed to focus on the origin of the Big Good and their introduction to the hidden world, but I am finding it increasingly focusing on the problematic character's introduction to the hidden world with the future Big Good as their guide. There are reasons for this, the two have excellent chemistry and the problematic character makes an excellent foil and Wekcon for the future Big Good, and it's fun watching them bounce off each other.
There are easily recognizable reasons why this character is so interesting. The character has an interesting backstory, personality, and worldview, is very memorable in visual design, they are a highly sympathetic [Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds), and has a number of traits that are unusual for a protagonist. For example, one notable feature of theirs is their intelligence. Being highly intelligent is seen a common "villain" trait (which is why I gave it to them), but is rarer in heroes unless it is their primary gimmick (i.e., Odysseus, Batman, Qpeqlack Bilmec). Their potential for kindness also feels natural given their history as a hero rather than duck-taped on as with many villains with redemption arcs. Honestly they feel like they work better as an anti-hero or anti-villain than a straight villain. In some ways they come off as more original and a better protagonist than the actual protagonists, who come off as reactive, self-hating everymen (the protagonists aren’t *bad* characters, but they do fall into the issue of being less proactive and more average).
I'm fine with this character being the tritagonist but I don't want them to become a story tumor. My beta readers have told me they consider this character to be probably the most (or second-most) interesting character in the story, so at least there is some reason to believe it's not just me projecting my own interests onto the audience.
I am self-aware enough to recognize some of my own failings in this character potentially becoming a creator's pet. I do feel like I relate to the character more than many of my others. I don't believe a single one of their villainous actions was justified, however, I understand their feelings of ostracism enough to recognize that the plot as currently stands comes off less like "defeating the horrible monster with the power of friendship" and more of "beating up on the misguided outsider who honestly needs a hug more than being ganged up on". They're also really easy to write for. One thing I have made sure to do is make sure the character has very well-defined flaws that are treated as such and that they are forced to deal with the consequences for them.
What really made me realize there was a problem was when I wrote a short "what if" story showing what the world would be like if the character never turned to evil. Normally when there is a plot of "what if the villain was good" it comes off as shallow wish fulfillment, but in this case it turns out the character still had a lot to say and many of these things were never said in the main timeline. Their presence humanized the Big Good by giving them someone who they could talk to as an equal (and who talked back to them). They also provoked positive character development in the protagonists by acting as a mentor/parental figure, source of positive reinforcement, and positive role model (which one of the protagonists otherwise never gets and comes off as putting on a brave face for the sake of everyone else). Specifically, their comments to the protagonists on not being so shy, repressed, and self-hating come across as a lot more heartfelt because they were once in the exact same situation as them and they know how they feel (and they come off as an example of "you can take pride in who you are and not be evil"). A villain, even reformed villain, making those comments comes off as hollow because [that's seen as a "villain" thing](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/025/252/tumblr_oua2lo1tjI1sjmxd2o1_540.jpg) that got them into this mess in the first place. Or worse, makes the point that having self-confidence is evil.
However, making this "what if" story the main timeline would mean eliminating a lot of important moments that evoke powerful emotions and define the characters (not to mention removing the source of conflict from the arc due to them no longer being an antagonist), as well as potentially damaging some of the themes (of course, the current plot is kind of hypocritical when it comes to intended themes because of this character anyway). Basically doing so means potentially erasing the moments that made the character sympathetic and myself and my beta readers like the characters in the first place, which sounds like a recipe for a creator's pet to me. For example, this character's story is supposed to be a reality check for the Big Good, as no matter how leaderly the Big Good appears they are only human, as demonstrated by the fact that they couldn't save their best friend from slipping into darkness.
In particular, swapping the timelines completely destroys the characterization of the character that plays a large role in the initial idea for a redemption arc (who is the fourth most developed character after the problematic one and the two leads), specifically the two protagonists' daughter. This is the reason why it's difficult to just have the character ease into the role of the mentor figure after they stop being a villain. In the original plot the fact that the daughter is willing to give the villain a chance and treat them with kindness despite her parents refusing to recognize that they have changed and the daughter having her own problems to deal with is used to show the daughter has the potential to be altruistic and heroic despite being a bratty, confused teenager (and that for all the protagonists' concern they raised her right). On the other hand, the fact that the villain recognizes themselves in the daughter and goes out of their way to prevent them from going down the same path shows they really do regret their actions and have the chance to redeem themselves. The two have a really adorable platonic relationship that goes down the drain if things change. The daughter's character arc is really good and I'm afraid of ruining it. But by that point any chance the villain has to be a parental figure and mentor to the two leads and help them is long gone.
At the same time, none of the interesting character traits that they exhibit in the alternate timeline (which they are supposed to have even in the main timeline) ever show up in the original redemption arc. Instead they come off as constantly depressed and having a case of perma-PTSD over what they have done and never manage to come to terms with it. They barely even talk with the protagonists or the Big Good during their redemption arc. Even though they have a redemption arc they never seem to take full advantage of it as a character.
Honestly, the fact that I am even tempted to swap timelines in the first place to give this character a bigger role and more time to interact with the protagonists, even if it is to provoke character development, just screams "potential creator's pet" to me. I realize the best thing for me to do if I like the character is power through and give them the story they "deserve", telling the best story possible even if it's unhappy to make them more memorable, but I feel like I'm wasting potential and the story feels too depressing to write with little catharsis for the reader (which is bad). I have been trying to find a middle ground between the two plot ideas, but have had little success.
Sorry for all the additional context, I've thought a lot about this issue before seeking external advice and there's a lot to unpack. The tl;dr: question I'm trying to ask here is **how do I stop this character from becoming a creator's pet?** | [
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51,310 | I have a character in my story for whom being computer savvy is supposed to be a major personality trait. The character works with computers for a living (even if their side job they do as part of the plot is almost purely physical) and considers being a white-hat hacker as one of their hobbies. However, I have noticed this trait almost never seems to impact the story and as a result negatively impacts their characterization.
Given this, **I have been trying to figure out how to write a character that is skilled at programming or a hacker and show how they would approach the world**. Overall, I am trying to go for a more realistic depiction of a computer-savvy hacker, rather than the unrealistic "hack all the Internets by typing really fast and uploading viruses of laughing skulls to Area 51".
One would think that being familiar with computers and programming would affect the way a person/character sees the world, specifically how they approach problems, the personal skills they learn, and the points of reference they have (and the references they make), just like how being skilled in any given field makes people contextualize the world in terms of knowledge in that field. I've noticed something similar in how I see the world with my professional expertise versus how other people do with theirs. Being a fan of [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/) and familiar with that site's style of humor, it has become very apparent to me that being computer literate *does* affect one's worldview (xkcd comes across as funny, but very alien to me). However, I have been unable to find any good advice on how to depict a computer literate character on the Internet. Again, xkcd is about the closest I have come in terms of understanding the mindset. Compared to a lot of other subcultures, there don't seem to be a lot of guides to get into a computer literate mindset.
It's not even clear what a reader would accept as constituting being "computer literate". From my experience the way people define "computer literate" can be anything from "can use Powerpoint" to "can give you a detailed rundown as to the differences between Python and Ubuntu". As an example of how varied definitions can be: a lot of people in my life have described me as computer literate because I know how to use Microsoft Office and Adobe Photoshop, but I wouldn't because I don't even know how to write a line of code! On top of that, it's not clear how to describe someone as computer literate without running the risk of horribly dating the character. One might depict a character as being savvy with a specific programming language or operating system that within five years of publication is completely dead.
Given these problems, how would one go about portraying that a character is computer savvy or a hacker? | [
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"text": "My best guess would be to hang out with computer-savvy people for several months. Make friends with the tec... | 2020/05/25 | [
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51,322 | I am writing a short book. What is the best font size to use with Times New Roman: 12 or 14? | [
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"text": "I don't think there is one answer. However, I would definitely caution against using 14 point unless it is for ... | 2020/05/26 | [
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51,331 | It's my first attempt at trying to write a long length story of my own and so far what I've come up is a story that is to be centered around child abuse (sexual abuse) (the psychological and emotional impacts of it on the child's mental well being ). But I personally haven't experienced such an issue and it made me reflect on the fact that whether it would be considered as an insensitive work of literature by those who have been affected by such instances of abuse during childhood. Of course I intend to write about the issue in a genuine way and make it a purely fictional work where instances that seems to be related to another person's experiences are purely coincidental but I wanted to get an opinion before continuing on working on the story. (genre of the story so far is mystery and psychological)
Thank you for advice in advance! | [
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"text": "There's no need for you to have personally experienced this sort of abuse in order to write about it, so long a... | 2020/05/27 | [
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51,335 | I'm trying to express the idea of a character undergoing a realisation, thus feeling an idea along the lines of a "fire being ignited inside of him".
However, I was wondering, are there any better ways to express this? (I feel like the fire metaphor is slightly overused)
Thanks in advance :) | [
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"text": "This one is not much different, but I might write, \"[Some thing or event] ignited in him a burning desire.\""
... | 2020/05/27 | [
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51,345 | I am finding it difficult to create fictional characters with personalities that are not a copy of myself. I'm having trouble trying to understand what others a character would do in certain situations and why. Does anyone have any tips to help create realistic characters with distinct personalities different from my own? | [
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"text": "Think about other people that you know, and how they would react in a certain situation. Think about memories that yo... | 2020/05/28 | [
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51,349 | What according to your understanding liberates a writer from the constraints of a restricted imagination and a restrained style arising out of naïve reverence and limited cognizance of the aesthetics, design, style, and composition of celebrated fiction to emerge with his own style? | [
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"text": "I have three suggestions:\n\n1. Read. Read. Read. Especially read stuff you don't normally read. Get out of your ... | 2020/05/28 | [
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51,351 | How can you express sadness without using any word non-figuratively related to sadness? I have been told that in poetry you need to "Show, but not tell" instead of saying thing literally, so I am seriously wondering how you can express sadness without using any literal word related to the concept of sadness. There are probably many techniques, but I can't really think of many to be honest. | [
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"text": "Posture: He drooped, head bowed, shoulders forward, back bent, silently dragging his feet as he went...\n\nG... | 2020/05/29 | [
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51,354 | I have a sentence I am trying to write that just doesn't feel right. It currently reads "It is commonly said that X, but the truth is that Y." The second part feels okay, but the first part feels like something you have to climb over to get to the point.
I've tried a couple other approaches but I'm not quite happy with them:
* "It is popular to say that X, but in this case Y."
* "X under normal circumstances, but Y."
Examples for X and Y can be:
* The world slept; nobody slept
* The citizens worked towards the betterment of society; everyone was out for themselves
* They were holding the reins; they were being led | [
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"text": "\"It is commonly believed, that \\_\\_\\_\\_. However, \\_\\_\\_\\_\"\n\n\"It is a common misconception, that \\_\... | 2020/05/29 | [
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51,360 | I was there for 45,400,000 (forty-five million, four hundred thousand) seconds
I was there for 45,400,000, forty-five million, four hundred thousand, seconds? | [
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"text": "For a scientific work, I would go with something more like scientific notation:\n\n4.54 \\* 10^7 (four point f... | 2020/05/29 | [
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51,362 | I'm currently writing, or starting to write, a book that discusses misandry and the such. I'm going to try to use as much evidence as I can without it seeming harmful.
For example, I want to add in a statistic about domestic violence, but I don't want to downplay the domestic violence women face or make it seem like I am doing so. Here's the statistic:
>
> The same research that has indicated that a woman gets severely assaulted by a boyfriend/husband every 15 seconds also indicates that every 14.6 seconds a man gets severely assaulted by a girfriend/wife. While men and women are equally likely to become the victim of mild assault at the hands of an opposite-sex partner, men are more likely to become a victim of severe assault at the hands of an opposite-sex partner.
>
>
> Other research has also shown that gay men are the least likely demographic to become a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of an intimate partner (male), with about a quarter experiencing domestic abuse from an intimate partner. Lesbians are the most likely demographic to become a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of an intimate partner (female), with almost half of lesbians becoming a victim of domestic violence at the hands of an intimate partner.
>
>
> While men make up about 40% or more of those domestically abused, women make up about 70% of domestic abuse perpetrators.
>
>
> Both male and female victims of domestic violence are more likely to be victimized by a female perpetrator.
>
>
>
I want to show these facts without downplaying the domestic violence that women face. Does this sound right, or does it have the potential to be harmful towards female victims?
I merely want to bring attention to male victims, but I want to do it in a way that isn't harmful.
Please try to not attack me for being an MRA (I am a gay man, so please don't accuse me of being a "whiny straight white male.") I am not necessarily anti-feminist, just towards the type that is harmful to men. I'd appreciate it if you don't attack me for my politics, and instead try to make sure that I am saying the facts in such a way that I don't harm any victim, male or female. | [
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"text": "I suspect that there is no way to touch this subject without causing pain and anger. \n\nWe should all hope tha... | 2020/05/30 | [
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51,364 | Recently, I've developed a habit of writing he/she/him/her and overusing the character's name at the beginning of sentences. For example:
>
> Pandora ran through the snow, following the coughs to a small building that barely qualified as a house. There were huge holes in the sides, and embers danced on wood left behind. Inside was a man in a business suit with dirty hair setting a girl down. She coughed till she almost turned blue.
> *This must have been the voice I heard.*
>
> The man looked around, anxious. "You're going to be fine." He consulted the child. He began to remove his jacket and wrap it around the little girl. A small smile fell on his face. "Now, I'm going to find some help. Just wait here."
>
>
> She groaned in response as he left her in a small hidden corner. She sat there dazed before she looked to realize that this was real, that this was her life. "What is going on?" She cried, her whisper turning into a sob. Tears fell, tracing the curvature of the girl's face as she pulled herself into a tight ball. "Why did this have to happen to us?" Her hair fell in front like a curtain almost; As if to hide her from the world around her.
>
>
>
What grammatical and stylistic alternatives can writers use to avoid this problem? | [
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51,372 | So, one of my story ideas involved werewolves. In the setting, they were a minority, much like most non-human races.
Now, of these werewolves, turned (as in a human who became a werewolf) ones only go through the transformation once, later generations (werewolves can reproduce) are born as werewolves. The whole beast-side-aking-over thing is only true for the duration of the full moon.
Werewolves have more keen senses (especially their smell) and stronger and slightly more agile bodies, but it matters little in a world where the existence of artifacts easily levels these differences. After all, an explosive arrow can still kill them in a single hit, so...
Werewolves usually live in tribes (don't tend to move) or families (tend to move).
The story itself takes place during and the day after the full-moon festival. Simply put it's a social event with some eating and drinking towards the end, the food is spiced up with some anesthetics and the festival is geared towards calming down their beast-side by satisfying its needs beforehand. It works pretty well.
Now, the bad guys are a human terror group, *the monster hunters*, who are dead set on eliminating creatures like werewolves as they are "perversions of humanity". They're depicted as cruel, illogical, cowardly, and plain repulsive people with no redeeming qualities. They're basically the protagonists of the book *The Camp of the Saints*, but in a story that isn't grounded in paranoia.
You guessed, they attack the tribe when they're snoozing.
Sure, humans aren't depicted as monsters either. The nearby city which is very liberal by the setting's standards sends out guards to protect werewolves during the night of the festival, as the city regularly trades with them, plus the city council isn't a bunch of douchebags. The guards also get attacked by monster hunters, as they are "race traitors", and aren't reluctant to fight back.
As far as other elements go, we do hear about segregation (of most non-humans) and suppression of information on monster hunters by authorities to maintain a false sense of peace.
The monster hunters might look like caricatures, but the truth is that I'm having a hard time viewing these types of groups as anything more. If you've read *The Turner Diaries* or the aforementioned *The Camp of the Saints*, you know what I'm talking about.
Okay, simply put: they either enjoy killing those they consider inferior (the worst type) or live in a false dichotomy (something similar to the white genocide conspiracy), where it's either kill or be killed, something that can easily be disproven.
In paper, there is a werewolf group that does terrible things too, like biting people on purpose, killing innocent humans, etc... The problem is that in the story we only hear about them from the main character (a werewolf who is sympathetic to their cause) when he's having a quarrel with his grandfather over his views.
Now, his grandfather is described as a kind and intelligent person, but lore-wise, his daughter, (almost) his grandson, and a few of his tribe had died because of monster hunters. So it makes little sense for him to be so adamantly pacifistic, and the events make his ideology look dangerous. Sure, they're ultimately the right call, but that only becomes apparent in hindsight.
Still, it feels disingenuous to throw in a werewolf terror group to explain some of the racism, yet the only time they "show up" is when the mc talks about them, and even then, the most harm, he causes with it, is making his granddad cry, which is awful (gramps IS his only living relative) but he does feel bad about it.
I planned on throwing in an arc for the mc where he's injured and has to put his trust into a group of humans, but an individual's journey does little when the werewoof terror group is still out there.
**So, is there any way to make a conflict seem more two-sided, even though one of these sides is almost completely irrelevant/inconsequential in the plot?** | [
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51,374 | I have a piece of non-fiction to write that I'll be doing by telling a story. It's somewhere between a news report, op-ed, and historical lesson, but told as a short story.
In this story there are no good guys, nobody who fell from grace, and nobody to save the day. It's just a bunch of bad guys doing a bunch of bad guy stuff. The story also spans several years including today, so there isn't a protagonist or central character to see through the eyes of.
I'm having trouble finding is what genre or style this would be classified if it were being told as a fictitious story. It isn't a dilemma, maybe it's a tragedy, but is there some classification that better fits what I've described? | [
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"text": "Is it similar to \"And then there are none\"?\n\nAnd Then There Are None is classified under:\n\n* Mystery\n* Crime... | 2020/05/31 | [
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51,379 | I'm ten years old and writing a book series. I have trouble writing about older characters, and that's especially the older kids that are already dating. I don't know any people that could help me write for those characters. Do you have any advice on making those characters more realistic? | [
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"text": "Is it similar to \"And then there are none\"?\n\nAnd Then There Are None is classified under:\n\n* Mystery\n* Crime... | 2020/05/31 | [
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51,388 | I’m writing this fictional story and based a character off this guy I saw in a documentary. He isn’t well known at all (other than being in the documentary). I did not use his name. His appearance is the most similar. I actually looked at a picture of the guy while describing his face. The personality doesn’t match at all as far as I know. His career is the same but at a different place. For example lets say he’s a chef (which he isn’t). It would be the difference between cooking at a fast food place and being someone’s personal chef.
There isn’t anything defamatory about the character. The only risky thing I did is make him gay. This idea came to me because all the prime time shows I watch were suspended for the pandemic and I was craving drama. My weird brain started to ship this guy with another guy in the documentary series. The second guy is only similar in appearance. Is it too similar? I don’t want to get sued. | [
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"text": "I think you're worrying a little too much about this. If their faces are the only things that are similar, then you... | 2020/06/02 | [
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51,396 | I am writing a story that takes place in a period of heavy political tension. It is a fictional world, but based off reality, especially American history. One of my main characters is a POC who joins a political movement protesting the tyrannical government, specifically focusing on women's rights. The more research I do on the subject, the more I come to realize the role women of color played in the women's suffrage movement.
While, as a white author, I want to be sensitive of telling a story that's not mine to tell, I also want my novel to be historically accurate and representative of all aspects of history. Even if I do all the research I can, I still will never fully understand the pov of a POC in politically heated environments, but I also don't want to "white wash" the women's rights movement.
So my questions would be: Is there a way to approach writing this character's plot line and pov to acknowledge the reality of being a POC in a political movement without writing an experience that isn't mine to write about? Where is the line between writing historically accurate experiences for your MC and telling someone else's story? | [
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"text": "I'm not sure how you can write a person's point of view and plot line without telling their story. Obviously, ... | 2020/06/02 | [
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51,403 | I am watching and translating TV shows to practice certain languages.
I was watching a tv show where the main character speaks English but occassionally make mistakes. For example, "That person really drives me up the hall". I believe the proper phrase is, "That proper drives me up the wall."
How do you translate the error without losing the essence of what just happened? The writer obviously did it for another character to react, so it is necessary to translate the error for the scene to make sense.
You could translate it literally. However, if the phrase is an idiom, there may not be a direct translation. So, do you translate the idiom into the language you want and then make a mistake that may not be the same but similar? | [
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51,409 | In a series I am currently writing, the protagonist grew up in a big detective family, causing her to know a lot about the detective's world.
How can I write her dialogue to show she's a knows it all?
>
> **Example -** "Loopholes are taught in Lockery class because finding a loophole is figuratively picking a lock. It's in the first chapter of *"Lockery for Beginners"*. Haven't you bothered to read the textbook?"
>
>
> | [
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51,410 | I'm writing a scene where the skin tone of an adult person of color (POC) is brought up in conversation.
The POC has the nickname "Gqoht" and another character asks if it's ironic like "Tiny" etc. (we later find out it's because of certain supernatural abilities.) The character who brings up the topic is made out to be an ass and has been trying to get a rise out of Gqoht. The scene serves to show that Gqoht is very self-controlled.
I wanted Gqoht to think back to when he was a child, when another POC bullied him for having darker skin. Upset, Gqoht runs to his grandmother, who calms him and explains that sometimes people just want to pick a fight and it can be over the stupidest things and that we're all human and your skin tone makes you no better or worse than anyone else.
I was going to try use a coffee analogy, something like "Some people like it strong and black, while others like creamer and more sugar than you'd find in a cake, but it's all still coffee. Each way is no better or worse, and you wouldn't fight with someone over how they take it, right? It's just the way they like it." And then I was going to end on something like "Me, I like my coffee good and strong, just ask your grandfather" ... which would make Gqoht smile, as it was something he didn't quite understand at the time, but as an adult reminds him of his grandmother's humour.
But... the coffee analogy suggests preference. I don't want it read that I'm saying it's fine to like or dislike a person based on skin colour. I'm also wary of coffee after reading some articles on coffee/chocolate being problematic to use due to links with slavery and plantation crops.
Question: How should I approach writing a scene where the POC grandmother explains to the bullied POC young child that having dark skin isn't a bad or good thing?
For context: I'm a white male. The work is a fantasy novel set at the start of this decade. I'm quite happy with the way the Gqoht character has been written in the rest of the book, after this chapter there is a severe lack of humans and race is never brought up again. I chose to make one of the main characters a POC because the rest of the limited cast of humans were white. | [
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51,416 | If an Australian writer writes a story based in America or another country that uses American English, should you change your spelling to American English, or continue using British English? Is this more of an editing technicality, or is this something that the writer needs to be mindful of? | [
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51,418 | In the book I am writing, the first seven chapters are from the POV of one character. In chapter 8, I am planning to add a second POV character. I will probably also add a third POV character in chapters 15 through 20 (I hope for the book to be around fifty chapters). I will switch between the characters after I introduce them, exploring different subplots.
However, the second subplot is only relevant after reading the first seven chapters, so I cannot bring in the new protagonist earlier.
How can I make these new POVs less disorienting to a reader (who probably did not expect multiple POV's)? | [
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51,426 | I have read many novels and found that the writers do not follow basic phrase structure rules while constructing a sentence. For example, they may write a sentence with only one word like "Fear" And sometimes, they may come up with a compound sentence made up of imperative and interrogative.
Is this allowed, or should writers follow accepted grammar rules? | [
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51,435 | I want to write a story about a place called Kingdom Come, where you can come in but you cannot go (i.e. you are not allowed to leave). Has this idea already been taken? It really sounds like the sort of idea that has already occured to some writer. If so, can I considered a plagarist? | [
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51,437 | One of my POV characters is an overthinker. Partly because she wishes to stop thinking so much, and partly because of peer pressure, she gets super drunk... and ends up doing something that she would never do in her normal overthinking state.
The reader has become accustomed to reading every one of her excessive thoughts. But how should her thoughts shift as she gets drunk? Should they stop altogether? (e.g., she just does the stupid thing, and the reader has no idea about the thoughts that led up to it) Or, should her thoughts become completely irrational? | [
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"text": "A few options(Some taken from @Sciborg in [this question](https://writing.stackexchange.com/q... | 2020/06/07 | [
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51,438 | My question is similar to [How to best pace information reveals to the reader](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/34514/how-to-best-pace-information-reveals-to-the-reader) and in the same general vein as [When to finally reveal plot twist to characters?](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/46603/when-to-finally-reveal-plot-twist-to-characters), but I think it's sufficiently different to warrant its own question.
**Background**
I've recently written a cyberpunk mystery story for a writing group with my friends, and after receiving some feedback I had an interesting question about story design that I thought was worth asking here.
The plot of the story revolves around a detective who is trying to expose a corrupt cybersecurity software company. At the end of the first chapter, there's a relatively mundane interaction with the detective's friend, and the conversation tacitly reveals that our detective protagonist is an android. I designed this reveal to be intentionally casual and minor, thinking that this would make the moment all the more surprising, and I figured it would be a fun "wow" moment when it clicks with the reader and they go back and think about the first chapter of the story from that perspective.
However, one of my writing group readers told me that they thought this was a really big and shocking reveal and deserved a bigger, more important moment in the story, and asked that I do a rewrite where I don't reveal the protagonist's true nature until closer to the end, so that the reader gets to rethink everything that's happened up until now through that perspective and has a bigger "aha" moment than in the current draft.
That got me thinking of a question which I'd like to ask here.
**How do you determine the timing of big story reveals?** In other words, how do you go about deciding whether to put a reveal towards the beginning, the middle, or the end, and what are the pros and cons of doing each? | [
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51,444 | My character is about to fight someone that really strong but he believes that he is still weak. So how can i force him to fight. (For plus note: i make a fantasy story like magic and stuff) | [
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51,451 | [It is an *extremely* common trope that white/light means good and dark/black means bad/evil](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoodColorsEvilColors).
I thought that - contrary to the appearances - the black/white symbolism is *not* racist. I believe it has nothing to do with an unfortunate period in history when people with a very light skin tone were oppressing people with a very dark skin tone. Instead, I suppose, this symbolism stems from the simple fact that humans are [diurnal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diurnality) rather than [nocturnal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocturnality). For this reason for centuries, darkness meant one could not see anything. It was much harder to spot an impending danger. It was the brigands' favorite time to pillage our village and woe to you if you overstayed in the forest. From it stems the natural, cross-cultural phenomenon of people using 'dark' and 'black' as a synonym of 'bad,' 'evil,' or 'dangerous,' while 'light' is a synonym of 'good.' [It also seems that our bodies need light for biological reasons](http://thescienceexplorer.com/brain-and-body/isolation-dark-drives-humans-brink-insanity-studies-find) and [lack of light can lead to depression](https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/light-therapy). This, once again, seem to hint that the black/white symbolism has much deeper roots than relationships between people of European and African descend and is orthogonal to the issues of racism.
However, at least in some cases, [such usage of these words is frowned upon and declared rasist](https://www.techspot.com/news/85080-uk-cyber-security-agency-stop-using-racist-blacklist.html).
Should we avoid the use of black/white symbolism in our writing, even though [color coding things can make the message very clear](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ColourCodedForYourConvenience)?
Does unfortunate historical context mean that we should not use the word 'black' for anything with negative connotations and the word 'white' for anything with positive implications? Even though it seems unavoidable anyway because I'd guess that human bodies are biologically predisposed to associate black with grimness and white with joy? | [
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51,452 | When writing face-to-face dialogue, I like to give clues as to what the non-POV character is thinking and feeling through their actions. Not all the time, but whenever it feels appropriate. They might be pacing or go completely still. Maybe they're scratching their chin, sipping at a drink, or tugging at a frayed thread.
It's much harder to **employ "Show, don't tell" in a phone call**. In this particular scene, the character on the other end of the line is reacting to the POV character's news with varying emotions, ranging from cautious and upset to relieved and hopeful. Due to his personality, he's unlikely to voice any of that out loud.
So far I've been using the following techniques:
* raised/lowered voice
* audible sigh/gasp/chuckle
* rushed/chopped speech
* pauses/trailing off
But I'd still like to convey more information, so I've resorted to the POV character commenting (in her head) on what she *thinks* he (or his voice) sounds like (nervous, hostile, accusatory, hopeful), but that's much closer to telling than I'd like.
**How can I show a character's thoughts and emotions if the POV character only hears them?**
The story is written entirely in **first-person from a single character's viewpoint**, but though the secondary character (the one being called) appears less often on page, he's extremely important for the plot.
The main character has previously interacted with the secondary character, but she doesn't know him well. However, I can sort of assume that my audience remembers him from other stories, so hopefully they'll be able to work out what's going through his head as he's receiving the news. (That said, I would prefer not to rely on that too hard, as I myself sometimes read series out of order, and would assume others do the same.)
EDIT: As pointed out in the comments, changing it to a *video call* is an option. However, I would prefer not to do that because it would greatly reduce the tension of the scene, and I also don't think the main character would trust the other character enough. Still... it's an option I hadn't considered. | [
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51,455 | New to the web. I just recently started to write again. I won a few highschool prizes writing short stories. Around the same time, I began to play Roleplaying games and to write different stories for different games.
Lately, I have been thinking about a few ideas. Instead of creating a story for a Roleplaying game, I decided to write them down.
I have seen that you can self publish your work on Amazon.
And that most "novice" novels go from 50k words to 100k.
But as I write, what worries me the most is the fact that even if I'm changing and mixing a lot of ideas. I cannot stop feeling that I have read that before somewhere else.
Is this a problem? Can I have legal issues?
Is there any rule or way to check this feeling?
I don't have anyone who I trust to check for me.
Cheers. | [
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51,458 | Many pieces of writing are succinct, but they are not rhythmical, giving no pleasure to the ear of the reader. The reason for that is likely this: The writers themselves either are unmindful of rhythm when they write, or possess a poor ability to formulate rhythm. So the question I want to ask is this: How does a writer strengthen their ear for rhythm? | [
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51,467 | I'm writing a master's thesis in English, which is my second language. I have understood that I should capitalize Section, Chapter, Figure, etc., but should I also capitalize other elements that refer to specific items?
For instance, in which of the following, if any, should "class(es)" be capitalized?
1. >
> Considering the implementation of class `className`...
>
>
>
2. >
> ... as compared to the classes, such as `className1` and `className2`, that contains ...
>
>
>
3. >
> ... as compared to the classes that contains ...
>
>
>
4. >
> Further, the class `className` in Listing 4 displays ...
>
>
>
5. >
> Further, the class in Listing 4 displays ...
>
>
>
If anyone has any literature to refer me to that explains this further, I would greatly appreciate it. | [
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51,479 | My story mainly takes place in the present, however, it begins and ends about 20 years into the future. (The main character is reflecting on events in their youth.) Given that this is not science fiction, how "futuristic" should these beginning and ending scenes be? Also, as the main character narrates the story, should they refer to present day technologies as if they're antiquated, and should new technologies be mentioned? In other words, how can I show that twenty years have passed?
\*The only relevance of the future in my story is to show that the character has aged and to emphasize how important certain people/events were to them. | [
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51,482 | In my novella trilogy that I am writing, *Of Aliens and Men*, the leader of the main antagonist faction, an alien organization called the Empyre (pronounced: Em-peer) Empire, Empress Erika II holds nigh-limitless political and military power. I am concerned that she may come off as a Miry Kae-esque character.
Is a character with high political, instead of physical, magical, etc. power, a Miry Kae? | [
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51,485 | I'm only 9 and I started writing a few books, but I didn't even finish them all. I don't know if I should keep writing different books, or focus on one. I sometimes find old books of mine that aren't finished and I don't even know what they are about. I need a quick idea on how to fix this... | [
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"text": "Welcome to the Writing Stack, Alayna.\n\nWhen you write, it's usually more effective to focus on one project at a ... | 2020/06/09 | [
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51,496 | I have a very well-built up world with politics, religions etc, that I've built up over the course of my writing. But I have recently realised that *I care more about the world than the character.*
I have no cares for my character at all. He is fleshed out, and deep thinking, and I understand him well. Yet I spend lots of my writing describing the world and find it hard to write about the character, rather than the world.
**How do I enjoy writing about my character, to a similar level that I enjoy writing about the world?** | [
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51,498 | 'He tracked and updated 182 patient statuses' OR 'He tracked and updated 182 patient stati?'
I believe "statuses" is correct. However, the originator is claiming some sort of Latin derivation as to why this is not acceptable. | [
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51,506 | I have a technical document which consists of the following sections:
```
1. Assignment statements
2. Concatenation
3. Data types
4. To check whether key exists
5. To retrieve value
6. To check whether variable or function is True or False
7. Regular expressions
8. Guard statements
```
What is the best way to name the 4, 5, and 6 sections?
First version:
```
4. To check whether key exists
5. To retrieve value
6. To check whether variable or function is True or False
```
or maybe
```
4. Checking whether key exists
5. Retrieving value
6. Checking whether variable or function is True or False
```
or maybe
```
4. Check whether key exists
5. Retrieving value
6. Check whether variable or function is True or False
```
English is not my native language. | [
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51,511 | I am aiming to change POV in the middle of my book, based on my [previous question](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/51418/how-can-i-introduce-a-new-pov-late-in-my-book) and I have yet to decide where to start the second POV. The first POV and the second meet during one event - a midnight dropoff/chase scene - and then the story continues. I am thinking about showing the first POV, describing parts of the scene he sees, then switching to the second POV, and describing the scene with her perspective and understanding.
1. **Is repeating a scene through a second POV advisable?**
2. **What techniques should I use to make the scenes easier to understand for the reader?** | [
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51,512 | I have created a world, and one of the cultures has mainly apostrophe names - Vax'Ildan, Vex'Ahlia, Soih'Ym...
How would this work grammatically - possessive and nicknames, in writing?
(To forestall any comments or answers, no I cannot change their culture, or names - for argument's sake, say I'm writing fanfiction with these names already existing.) | [
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51,520 | How could I say the equivalent of "A pouring wave of humanity," when there are more than one species in the scene being described? | [
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"text": "You'll have to answer some questions.\n\n1. What species are there?\n2. How many?\n3. What do they look like?\... | 2020/06/12 | [
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51,521 | I'm planning to start a blog where I write about sexual abuse, sexual harassment and also domestic violence. I'm worried that people don't usually read or want to read such heavy stuff. Honestly, I can't read for long too because I feel I'm not doing much to help the cause.
Being a victim of child sexual abuse I feel the *need* to write this blog but I also want to make it seem somehow different. Something which gets people to want to read it and make it memorable and not just dismiss it. I initially thought about writing some flash fiction...but again wouldn't it just be a sort of repetition?
If you've ever come across an article or just *something* on these themes, and you've found them to be too monotoned, maybe a reporter reporting the case and you've quickly forgotten about it, what changes would you recommend? Is there a better way you can suggest to present stuff on these themes and help the cause? I'm cool with absurd and weird ideas (not too weird though). | [
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51,534 | How do I create a mysterious character? What personality traits and ways does he need to be mysterious? What attitudes must he have to be so? | [
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"text": "You'd be surprised by how many people think you are mysterious if you:\n\n1. do more listening than talking\n2. Don't t... | 2020/06/14 | [
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51,553 | So I'm writing a science fiction story, with more fantasy that actual science. When I say "sci-fi" I really mean space opera. There are intergalactic companies, entire planets dedicated to slaver miners, empires that stretch across solar systems, urban and rural communities that span between extreme poverty and insane magic. In some places species are mixed evenly; in others, certain species dominate the population.
I have written out many original species with their own cultures, appearances, histories, etc. I also wanted to include more common fantasy species like elves, dwarves, orcs, and fae, and I've already thought of different variations of each and their own histories. I tried to switch things up with their names, so I'm calling elves "alfsven," shortened to alfs usually. Dwarves are dwyver, orcs are orcu.
Example:
>
> I have two main varations of alfs in my story—Llvorexians and N'Varkians. Both races were originally called the Freynovan alfs, but after an unknown catastrophe destroyed their home planet, the Freynovan alfs they took refuge on a nearby planet. That planet was already inhabited however, and the two species went to war. The Freynovan alfs that stayed and fought above ground are known as N'Varkian alfs, and those that fled into underground tunnels are known as the Llvorexians.
>
>
> The Llvorexian alfs were blinded over centuries of subterranean slavery, and even after they were freed, they were hairless, blind, and had extremely thin, pale, almost translucent skin. The N'Varkian alfs, after slaving away above ground for the same amount of time as the Llvorexians, now have dark, bluish skin and thick curly hair.
>
>
>
The mystery on the destruction of the planet and attacking species is deliberate. This also happened quite far in the past, in the 6000s. The current story takes place in the 17,000s. Many species can live for 1,000-8,000 years, which is why I placed the times in such a way. This is also an alternate universe, meaning there never was nor will be humans.
As you can tell, they don't look like the typical elves one would expect. They still have all the magical capabilities and pointy ears. Personally I have no problem calling them alfs, but I was just wondering if I sounded prestigious or something. Is this just unnecessarily confusing and weird? Do I sound like some weird white mom naming her kids when I say alfsven instead of just elves? | [
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51,555 | In my story, there is a certain man in his late twenties, who is one of the commanders in a war against a great threat for a medieval-like kingdom (this kingdom is also in such an unstable state that a civil war can break out at any moment). Now, he is fighting for a certain branch of the royal family and he is loyal to them. The youngest member of this branch of the royal family is a boy who is 10 years old. During the course of the story and the war, this little prince grows close to the war commander's heart, and they become genuine friends, and the war commander once risks an important mission in order to save the boy's life.
My question is: **how can I make this a genuine friendship, even though there is such a big age gap between them?** It would be different if the prince was 20 years old and the commander was 40 or 50 years old, but in this case, the prince is just a boy. So is there any way for me to make a genuine, strong and realistic friendship between the two even though they have such a great age gap? | [
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51,558 | There is a scene in which my main character is hiding from the villain while they are both in the same room. I want this to be a suspenseful and agonizing stretch of time, but I’m not sure how to show how long it feels for the character without it becoming boring or using cliche phrases like “every second felt like an hour.” | [
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"text": "**1:** \"Every second was one second too much.\"\n**2:** \"Every second was passed in agony.\""
},
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"ans... | 2020/06/16 | [
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51,560 | I had a colleague today point out that the use of *well* in the following sentence is a typo. I think it makes sense but now I'm second guessing myself. Is this correct? If not, what would be a better way to say this:
>
> Well these rules have been in place for a while, shipping companies and businesses are experiencing delays as a result of incorrectly processed shipments.
>
>
>
If you want the full context of this sentence here it is:
>
> For several months now special restrictions have been in place for exports of personal protective equipment (PPE), medical, and general COVID-19 relief supplies from China. Well these rules have been in place for a while, shipping companies and businesses are experiencing delays as a result of incorrectly processed shipments.
>
>
>
**EDIT / UPDATE**
I took Jay's advice at first and reworded the sentence into the following:
>
> While these rules have been in place for some time, shipping companies and businesses are experiencing delays as a result of incorrectly processed shipments.
>
>
>
I really like Apple Cola's suggestion though. To help the flow of the sentence, which was brought up by Chronocidal, I added the word "still", replaced "a while" with "some time", replaced "rules" with "restrictions" so it fits into the full context of the paragraph, and removed the "shipping companies" part since I technically only need to mention businesses here. The sentence now reads:
>
> Although these restrictions have been in place for some time [now], businesses are still experiencing delays as a result of incorrectly processed shipments.
>
>
> | [
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51,564 | I am writing a story that is based on mythology. I have my own characters which have their own voice. One of those characters, the wise old man archetype, has certain qualities and has a background which is very similar to one of the characters from mythology. The more I thought about it the more I am convinced that it will make for a good reveal. Kind of tying the story firmly to certain mythological events (not from the story).
However, this is where I am stuck. I don't know what to do with this reveal or how to take it forward. I am sure the reveal is subtle and will make the readers go "why did I not make the connection?" as well as strongly include the mythology into the world building (kinda like alternate explanation for the mythology) but beyond that I am not able to craft it into a story line or an arc or to make it serve a purpose. What can I do to make a piece of information that has world building importance relevant to the plot ?
---
**Edit:** To provide an example which I have given in the comments below.
The MC and his group run into the old man while on a quest and he decides to join them. Through the journey, the old man rises into the role of a teacher, teaching the MC a necessary skill (let's say summoning lightning).
At that point, I can -
1. Have the MC guess who he is (say Tfoc) and so is able to teach him
2. Conversely, I could just say he is a master of the mystic arts and be done with it.
The thing is that by calling the old man Tfoc, I not only lend credibility to him being able to teach that skill, plus there are certain events which happened prior to the MC's birth, they easily become part of the Norse mythology (like a cause-effect and alternate history thing). The issue is that the reveal needs to happen in the middle of the journey and then I don't know what to do with the fact that he is Tfoc for the rest of the journey. The old man has his own character arc and I cannot decide how being Tfoc fits into that. Hope this helps.
OK, so I thought about it a bit more and thought it might help to have a pros and cons list.
Pros to revealing the old man is Tfoc -
1. It instantly gives him a richer backstory. [True I could just copy his backstory but it won't be as relatable.]
2. It is more believable that he is able to summon Lightning and can teach it.
3. It ties events which have happened prior to MC's birth to actual Norse events. For e.g. Ragnarok caused a certain new element to be discovered which is then used to forge a destructive weapon
Cinc to revealing the old man is Tfoc -
1. I don't know what to do with the fact after the reveal. The old man has his own character arc and being Tfoc is not having any significance to it.
2. All the above pros can be explained in alternate ways without calling the old man Tfoc. | [
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51,583 | I've been planing out a sequel series to my trilogy, which has a secret society called *Nukui-Paub* spearheaded by the sequel trilogy's primary antagonist Ma'dtuth, who draws inspiration from [Vandal Savage](https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Vandal_Savage), [Apocalypse](https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Apocalypse_(Marvel)), and *Dragon Ball GT*'s [Baby](https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Baby_(Dragon_Ball)). Ma'dtuth is the former ruler of an offshoot of humanity called the *Bassirid* (which he aims to resurrect via time travel shenanigans) as they once ruled the [hyper-advanced nation of *Dosham*](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdvancedAncientHumans) (what we now call Atlantis) with descendants that influenced the development of all Indo-European and Afro-Asiatic cultures. It's suggested that Ma'dtuth used *Nukui-Paub* as a means to [shape the history](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeenThereShapedHistory) of various [ancient Near Eastern civilisations](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MesopotamianMonstrosity) in the name of building a utopia embodying his [Darwinian principles](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSocialDarwinist).
But, the problem is neither Ma'dtuth nor *Nukui-Paub* even get a passing allusion or mention in my original series. I fear that potential readers (if I'm lucky to have any) will find the idea of both entities spending God knows how long lurking in the shadows rather than playing a significant role in the last trilogy hard to swallow. Or worse, think that I [pulled both ideas out of the deepest reaches of my colon](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AssPull).
The worst example I can think of is *Halo's* *Forerunner Saga* novels (a prequel series set millennia before the events of the games) reveals that millions of years ago, that humans once ruled a galaxy-spanning empire that rivalled the Forerunners in power… and nor do 343 Bailzy Xhavk, Cortana or any Bungie-era background materials mention this at any point (considering the previous two's vast knowledge on everything Forerunner-related). Even worse is that after the Forerunners devolved mankind back into the Stone Age, they could create vehicles such as airships and steam-powered ships, which would have been beyond impossible for Pleistocene humans to develop. And pre-343 media never even depicts prehistoric humans as having the capacity to create such things.
**So, when all is said and done, how could I avoid making such a revelation come off as half-baked?** | [
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51,590 | "The meticulously placed masses of skin under her eyes were captured involuntarily by the customary light fixtures of the hospital ward, sufficiently polluted with the indistinct clamour of her deranged relatives." | [
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51,596 | To preface this, I have seen the question [multiple personalities characters speech in text](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/18957/multiple-personalities-characters-speach-in-text) and I feel that my question is different enough, to warrant a separate question.
---
In my book, a character has multiple personalities. In one, personality defining scene, whilst she is playing a game. her normal personality (Niar), is overtaken by the gaming personality (Suoti).
I have thought about changing the name straight away - but I feel that it is really disorienting for the reader.
Right now I have written:
>
> "My name is Obep - who are you?" inquired the old man.
>
>
> "I'm Suoti," replied Niar, using her pseudonym. Suoti was much better at games than she was.
>
>
>
My problem is now - how do I carry on, in a way that doesn't disorient the reader. At the moment the reader doesn't know that Niar has multiple personalities (she only recently entered the storyline). The book is written in the third person omniscient, so anything goes.
**Should I continue using Niar, or Suoti, or another option, in the rest of the scene, and how can I do this whilst not disorienting the reader?**
---
**EDIT**
Due to some misunderstandings, I would like to say that this is not a case of dissociative identity disorder, rather a byproduct of a magical accident, so any points over the reality of the personalities interaction, whilst helpful and very much appreciated is not applicable to the question. | [
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51,597 | How would you describe a facepalm in a more formal sense?
For example, he rubbed his head with his hand. Or, he rubbed his temples.
Basically, my character here is really annoyed at the stupidity of another and so he's sighing and 'facepalming'.
Just something better than 'he facepalmed'. | [
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51,603 | I am writing about my local airport which has had two other names which name should I use through out the writing about it? An example is JFK in New York was originally called Idlewild Airport would most people writing use John F Kennedy (JFK) through out their story? | [
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"text": "When you're writing, the goal is to say something. Preferably, more than one something:\n\n1. When discussing a re... | 2020/06/19 | [
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51,611 | In many formal letters, the first word after the salutation (e.g. "Dear Sir or Madam,") is the pronoun I, which is always capitalized.
However, I recently wrote a letter for which this is not the case:
>
> Dear Xxxx,
>
>
> thank you for ...
>
>
>
A proofreader warned me that I should capitalize "thank", which left me baffled, because it is within a sentence starting with "Dear", therefore I see no logical reason for that.
I am not a native English speaker, though, so I am unsure: should I capitalize the word after the comma or not?
PS: In case it matters, I am in UK. | [
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51,614 | Can we omit "the" in poems even if it makes the sentence nonsensical?
For example:
>
> They remembered the taste of fruits they enjoy.
>
>
>
instead of:
>
> They remembered the taste of the fruits they enjoy.
>
>
>
and
>
> They love the light of kerosene lamps
>
>
>
instead of:
>
> They love the light of the kerosene lamps
>
>
>
Even if we're referring to specific lamps and fruits.
When is it permitted to do so? | [
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"text": "Basically you can do anything in poetry. Some would say that's the definition of poetry. Much poetry isn't Stand... | 2020/06/21 | [
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51,625 | When I describe hand-to-hand combat, I include EVERYTHING that's going on, EVERY action and motion the characters make. I know this is exhausting for readers. However, if I'm not descriptive, the result is too brief and lifeless. How can I solve this dilemma? | [
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"text": "The way I've heard it said is as follows...\n\n* Only show blows that are important. Gloss over unimportant par... | 2020/06/22 | [
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51,631 | So, basically, how do you name side characters? I get that you should give the main characters meaningful names, but finding suitable names for all of my characters is distracting and time-consuming. Then again, I want the names to fit because I can't be sure I won't use some characters again later.
How can I quickly come up with a name for a side character that feels right enough for me to keep it and move on? | [
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"text": "My experience has been to concentrate on the story - first and foremost. That is what drives the success or failure of... | 2020/06/22 | [
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51,635 | Anyone know of a definitive online resource on formatting a story collection for submission to publishers and agents? One knotty question in particular: does one use the title of the book throughout the manuscript in the page headers or does the header change with each story to reflect the name of that story? Oddly, I can't find anything on this. Thanks. | [
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51,642 | I'm writing a horror short-story, and at the end the main character dies and his partner is whisked away forever. I had intended to write it in first-person, because the narrative becomes more personal that way and you can really get into the head of the main character. [This answer](https://writing.stackexchange.com/questions/31155/do-modern-readers-believe-the-first-person-narrator-cant-die) asserts that a first-person narrator has to survive to tell the tale. I know of only one way around this, which is a journal that ends right before the main character's death (*The Haunter in Darkness*, *The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hmdobr*), but in my story his death is only half of what makes the ending interesting so that won't work.
I had already intended to switch the POV for the last paragraph and write it in third person, so the reader can watch what happens to the two men. But does the sequence I'm going for constrain the whole story to third person? | [
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51,651 | Let's say the story was introduced as a romance, then somewhere in the middle it becomes a horror/thriller, would you immediately think it's bad?
Would you feel like "This is not what I came here for, I came for the butterflies, not for this bull" would you drop the story/ get mad?
What are your thoughts on this style?
Do you think sufficient foreshadowing is necessary? Or is it fine to switch suddenly as long as the story remains interesting/ its executed well? | [
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"text": "I think that without proper foreshadowing - even through the title or the cover - a story th... | 2020/06/24 | [
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51,660 | As a person, I'm a bit of a people-pleaser. I tend to bend over backward to avoid conflict and make people happy. I've reached the point in my writing process where I've started to send out drafts of my work to beta readers to get feedback. However, I've started to notice a bit of a problem in that, when I get feedback, I feel compelled to incorporate it all in and kind of unthinkingly accept reader interpretations of things.
In particular, there is one plot point one of my beta readers doesn't like that sets up an important subplot that leads to a lot of juicy conflict between the lead characters and a minor antagonist. Because they're reading in linear order, they only see the comparatively black-and-white event and don't see the more nuanced consequences of it. It touches on a touchy subject (namely, trauma), but it looks at a specific aspect of trauma that is whitewashed or played for laughs in most media, and saying it should be changed is the exact response that kind of thing often gets. Nevertheless, I can see why people wouldn't like it. Regardless of whether the idea is good or not, I'm noticing that my mindset is starting to slip towards "it's bad/wrong" simply because the reviewer said it was bad rather than based on any coherent argument. I think if I had an issue where one beta reader hated a particular plot point and wanted it removed and another thought it was great and demanded it be kept, I would probably short-circuit.
I don't think the problem is any specific plot point, it's that I see it as a symptom that if I made every change beta readers suggested I would end up with a work that doesn't take any risks and loses it's impact. Though at the same time, I want to write things that are enjoyable to read rather than making a didactic point.
To clarify, I'm not asking how to shut out criticism entirely, claiming that my vision is perfect and must be protected at all costs. This is the entire problem, I know that feedback is critical for improving a novel and ironing out the areas an author might have a blind spot for, but this also makes me liable to incorporate every change someone insists upon regardless of how it affects the plot. But if I bend over backward to incorporate every change that people ask of me, I'll end up with a bland, unfocused mess, especially if it involves cutting out plot points that set up later conflict. **How does someone determine when it is better to stick to one's vision or when it is better to make beta reader-suggested changes**, especially if you know that *neither* you nor the beta reader are going to be objective in assessing the work.
**The only rule of thumb I have been able to figure out is: If multiple people have a problem with the same element of the story, it is probably a good idea to change it.** But that doesn't help when I feel myself turning away from plot points when only one beta reader says something is wrong. | [
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"text": "I'm fond of the following quote from Neil Gaiman:\n\n> \n> Remember: when people tell you something's wrong o... | 2020/06/24 | [
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51,668 | In this book I'm making, there is a religious conflict that happens. Here's the base of my plot so far:
>
> Adrian lives in the dragon tribe Sa'fwan. Foreigners came to his land, coming across his tribe first. They befriended him and his tribe. One particular foreigner, an 18 or 20 year old by the name of Gallan, becomes close friends with Adrian. Adrian later casually reveals that He and other members of his tribe (and other tribes on his land) don't believe in any gods. They just believe that things happen, and everyone just exists, then doesn't exist. Gallan is surprised and tells Adrian that where he's from, many believe in gods. Adrian mentioned it because Gallan was wondering what gods Adrian and his fellow tribefolk believed in. This ends up driving their friendship apart, as Gallan and his fellow foreigners try to convert the tribefolk. This ends up in a war.
>
>
>
Now, I'm not going to spoil much, and I am still in the early stages.
So how do I portray a religious conflict?
**Edit:** Some people have asked questions, so I'll answer each:
I have only done some research on previous conflict. I know that disease can cause of the death of one side more often, but what usually gave people the upper hand was technological advancements such as the steam engine and the Maxine Machine Gun for one part of history that I learned. (forgot which conflict) This conflict will be different (not that much) due to the fact that it is over religion and non-belief.
The conflict is because Adrian and his tribefolk don't believe in any gods. Gallan and his fellow foreigners see this as a bad thing and want to "save them". I will also include other things that atheists, agnostics, and other non-believers have to often face (and I know a lot, being an atheist). Miracles do not exist. The foreigners believe in the gods, and even manage to convert a few of the willing tribefolk. Not that much, but they do convince some.
I'm struggling with how I should specifically *portray* the religious conflict. How should the foreigners treat the tribefolk before and after? Should there be battles? What else? | [
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"text": "There seem to be many different ways that the conflict could work. These are my examples:\n-... | 2020/06/25 | [
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51,681 | How do I resolve the conflict between:
* Being interested in what I write about
* Ignoring my inner critic, pushing past writer's block, starting writing, maintaining a writing habit, etc.
When I find an idea interesting, I usually hit a roadblock like discovering that someone else has done it well already or that the concept isn't enough to sustain a plot.
I hear that I should try to push past this and keep developing what I have. However, after I hit the roadblock, I lose interest in the idea. I wonder whether I had the wrong idea to begin with, and should keep searching for a better one.
Any advice on finding a happy medium? Or maybe I'm missing something larger? | [
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"text": "* *If someone else did it well, I shouldn't write it*\n\nThis statement is very easily dispr... | 2020/06/26 | [
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51,686 | My first language is Arabic. Please ignore the grammatical mistakes.
I've published a novel about 6 years ago, and most of the critics who read it thought that it was too descriptive.
Now I'm worried if my second novel to be published has the same mistake. It is a fantasy novel. I keep thinking whether it is too descriptive too but I think I understand why someone would say that about my first novel.
I know that I said too much in my first novel (I wrote it when I was 19). I've been through a lot and I wanted my voice to be heard. I think I wrote too much because it's hard to express yourself where I live.
I think my second novel is relatively slow-paced but full of action. It is highly descriptive too but honestly, I feel that I don't describe without a reason. I rarely describe for merely aesthetic reasons, or just to prove a point in my head. I mean, I feel deep inside that the descriptions are justified in my second novel, but I'm still a bit confused.
Do you think I should follow the critics' words or just do what I feel is right? | [
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"text": "Unfortunately, an objective answer is impossible without first reading your book. But if you suspect you... | 2020/06/26 | [
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51,690 | Apparently, greed and greedy are weak words in poetry, so you can't use them, but what other words would you use?
>
> The pirate greed for their gold.
>
>
>
>
> And the adventurers are greedy
>
>
>
>
> In their quests for adventures
>
>
>
>
> Until an arrow in the knee they take.
>
>
>
I can't think of a way to reword this. It's like impossible, and I just think it's ridiculous to think of these two words as weak. | [
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"text": "Many.\n\nConsider consulting a thesaurus:\n\n<https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/greed>\n\n<https://www.th... | 2020/06/27 | [
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