EmoClass
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transcript
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i was an independent parent. out as a lesbian at the time.
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... or vital for her to know how the world is.
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i don't know if you want to say anything about that-
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i feel like you not accepting or identifying a person as they want to be identified-
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it was not a sense of hopelessness of, these are all the horrible things and that's-
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most times we're not identifying those things as violent.
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a drunk, very, very, very drunk man got on the bus and sat next to a woman.
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no one. no one on the bus did anything. like people-
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she was like, "i'm glad that you made that man get off the bus." right?
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so, i think that's a big piece of it. and-
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... be a trans black daughter where-
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[inaudible 00:05:55] it's a fucking horribly scary thing. and-
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[inaudible 00:06:01] i think she was like a seven-year-old daughter, maybe younger about police violence and actually-
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and that's so sad that we have to have those conversations.
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before we talk about that, it's been a minute since we did. we skipped last month.
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2.2
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what else has been going on?
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i personally have been dealing with a postpartum depression.
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it's been kind of rough right now.
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Train
working every day to get better.
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Male
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... where you're doing a look every day for this-
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it's almost like how the depression is sometimes. so-
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and i think we need to do some more about that.
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... thinking about all the first birthday-
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it popped into my head the other day, because every time i think about my childhood, and-
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... it was really intense.
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it was so normal.
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i've always been aware of it and knew that it was wrong and weird and inappropriate. but-
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... it's been happening to me since, i don't know. i had to be maybe 11, 12, maybe-
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and there was 25 guys right here, like-yeah.
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look at where the screams are coming from, which is really fucked up.
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and i don't know. sometimes i wonder if answering the question of why i think people-
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and i'll give, what is it that one instance, i remember-
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and i am coming home from club at three or four o'clock in the morning-
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[inaudible 00:07:55] ... think about that power that they hold in society and that fear that is real.
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i can honestly say i don't think i've ever heard of anybody in my life that's a male-
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... to your children about some semblance of this, there is something wrong, because this-
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so, it goes to talking about just people, like common decency-
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when you're young, or at any age, i guess. when you have enough-
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exactly. and so you know, who knows-
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... culture that does that on a daily basis-
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... or masculine people, that they cannot do that, that they are-
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i know that it got to the point for where i would really think about even-
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when we were on the bus and this drunk guy came in and he was harassing this woman, who-
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we were arguing and i cursed him.
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-[inaudible 00:09:18] ... do that? i see people do so many inappropriate things with their kids-
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and the sad thing is that when you ask women or non-men femmes, what age did-
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... because i remember thinking that i miss talking to children, because depending on how people-
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Train
so, sometimes they see me straight up be a woman or maybe a dyke.
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S
2.6
2.8
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
and so, depending on how i'm viewed, that's where the harassment lies. whether-
[ { "feats": [ 0.08529999852180481, -0.20296138525009155, 0.2780826687812805, -0.05713022127747536, 0.9231980443000793, 0.47174152731895447, 0.24404452741146088, 1.2859578132629395, 0.7871347069740295, -0.12575377523899078, -1.0311918258666992, ...
N
2.8
4.2
4
2,846
Male
Train
if you see them as a person and not as an object, it might change.
[ { "feats": [ 0.05707578361034393, -0.10522697865962982, 0.15342697501182556, -0.06793001294136047, 0.8721991777420044, 0.45150429010391235, 0.17498824000358582, 1.2384693622589111, 0.8126038908958435, -0.06873533129692078, -1.0430121421813965, ...
N
3.6
3.8
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
putting everything on digital format videos.
[ { "feats": [ 0.0423012375831604, -0.1336294561624527, 0.14210188388824463, -0.07061174511909485, 0.7626746296882629, 0.49008113145828247, 0.1351861208677292, 1.0836570262908936, 0.8006945252418518, 0.13044248521327972, -1.008946418762207, -...
S
3.4
3.2
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
... with a lot. dealing with a lot. we've-
[ { "feats": [ 0.045414041727781296, -0.25688672065734863, 0.1686958521604538, 0.05894475430250168, 0.9767332673072815, 0.5660786628723145, 0.18153443932533264, 1.3898319005966187, 0.889268159866333, 0.09514297544956207, -1.0559372901916504, ...
S
2.8
2.8
2.6
2,847
Male
Train
... we've been struggling together. struggling-
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S
2.4
2.8
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
.. mother's day just passed and that was hard also. so-
[ { "feats": [ -0.0068381731398403645, -0.09658980369567871, 0.15294630825519562, 0.010904212482273579, 0.8798826336860657, 0.5754880905151367, 0.1276603639125824, 1.2187713384628296, 0.8079578876495361, -0.0531885027885437, -1.0987794399261475, ...
N
2.2
3.8
3.8
2,847
Male
Train
politically in community or anything like that.
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A
4.2
2.6
4.2
2,847
Male
Train
... how fucking hard it is. perfect-
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H
5.4
5.4
4.4
2,847
Male
Train
i should put that with how fucking hard it is.
[ { "feats": [ 0.00686090812087059, -0.15036112070083618, 0.2951827049255371, -0.06751861423254013, 0.988430380821228, 0.6874886155128479, 0.18490912020206451, 1.787901520729065, 0.9447224736213684, -0.16649049520492554, -0.8888401389122009, ...
N
2.4
3.8
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
well, i guess survivor center because i'm like, "what's that about?"
[ { "feats": [ 0.019978445023298264, -0.02776113897562027, 0.09431784600019455, -0.014200897887349129, 0.7977272868156433, 0.5211977958679199, 0.1978951394557953, 1.184961199760437, 0.7193913459777832, -0.16147321462631226, -1.0643749237060547, ...
S
3
3.8
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
i mean, i always talk about that in terms of what it means to be a parent.
[ { "feats": [ 0.07706547528505325, -0.1306833028793335, 0.09515590965747833, -0.023414915427565575, 0.8160484433174133, 0.6053197979927063, 0.14240364730358124, 1.3186452388763428, 0.7381925582885742, 0.034525077790021896, -1.0820499658584595, ...
S
2
2.2
3
2,847
Male
Train
as being a sinner, like a bad mother, a person who is just crappy, who doesn't take care-
[ { "feats": [ 0.009807850234210491, -0.1828019618988037, 0.17560167610645294, -0.05060845986008644, 0.8772797584533691, 0.4843415915966034, 0.24681830406188965, 1.2027366161346436, 0.853995144367218, -0.031572628766298294, -0.9890649914741516, ...
N
2.2
4
3
2,847
Male
Train
you know, either.
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S
2.6
2.6
3.2
2,847
Male
Train
it's usually really shitty and not supportive, and it's really tough. i mean, all-
[ { "feats": [ 0.1175684779882431, -0.2027914971113205, 0.17474231123924255, 0.012095044367015362, 0.8249833583831787, 0.5695744156837463, 0.1578906625509262, 1.3980764150619507, 0.6741670370101929, -0.03295069560408592, -0.966801643371582, -...
S
2.4
2.4
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
but then when you don't feel it, you end up feeling like a horrible, horrible person and-
[ { "feats": [ 0.13241173326969147, -0.20901747047901154, 0.2532143294811249, -0.07847501337528229, 1.0752921104431152, 0.5033749938011169, 0.11443809419870377, 1.3080130815505981, 0.959930419921875, 0.013307182118296623, -1.0600905418395996, ...
N
2.2
3.8
3.8
2,846
Male
Train
well, i think that kind of goes into mine, the connecting with your child.
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N
2.6
3.6
3.4
2,846
Male
Train
... because i feel like because there are different types of families, different types of guardians, parents-
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S
2.6
3.4
3
2,846
Male
Train
adults in your life who you look up to. so connecting with them-
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N
2.4
3.4
3
2,846
Male
Train
... it doesn't have to be just on a... how can i say this? how-
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N
2.2
4
3.6
2,846
Male
Train
i can probably talk to them about this, so-
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X
2.6
3.8
3.8
2,847
Male
Train
yeah, we all come to it in different ways and sometimes we use harm reduction-
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N
2.2
3.6
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
... so many competing things out there and depending on the age...
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S
1.8
3
2.8
2,847
Male
Train
... with you because you're thinking about walking. and-
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X
2.4
4
3.2
2,847
Male
Train
... and how, i mean, that's the way i'm always thinking. and...
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S
2.6
2.2
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
and then, depression and we've just been in our respective corners so-
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S
3
3.2
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
... so i feel so distant, and-
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S
2.4
3.2
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
and i think that's my own shit about family and relationships, the way i've always wanted-
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A
4.2
2.2
4
2,847
Male
Train
... it, because of fucked up things and family dynamics and past shit.
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H
4.6
5.6
4.4
2,847
Male
Train
we do these things.
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H
3.8
5.4
4.6
2,847
Male
Train
our relationship was like, "oh," i just loved it.
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N
2.4
4
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
i want this kind of reciprocal...
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N
3.6
3.6
4.4
2,847
Male
Train
adult parent daughter.
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X
2.4
4.8
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
that's what i desire with you, that connection, that different connection, for sure.
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X
2.6
3.8
3.4
2,846
Male
Train
i think once i get a better footing, it'll be better.
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N
1.8
3.6
2.4
2,846
Male
Train
things are changing and eventually... not too long, not like eventually, but-
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S
2.2
2.6
3.6
2,846
Male
Train
this quarantine is just making it difficult.
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N
2.6
4
3.6
2,846
Male
Train
i guess in the good ways and the bad ways, depending on whose point of view it is.
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S
3.8
3.6
3.2
2,847
Male
Train
she made mistakes, just like everybody else. i don't see those things. i'm very disappointed-
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N
2.4
3.8
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
and so, it's really difficult to get a clear answer or communication, and even in this-
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S
2.4
2.6
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
... and they drive themselves crazy, so it's not good either way. it kind of bleeds into the-
[ { "feats": [ 0.09263648837804794, -0.08945181220769882, 0.1614423245191574, -0.021020781248807907, 0.7689580917358398, 0.4817642271518707, 0.13358262181282043, 1.2519433498382568, 0.7813435196876526, -0.01079094409942627, -0.9569043517112732, ...
S
3
3
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
... indestructible. the parent who can't get sick, can't do anything, can't, you know-
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S
3
2.6
4.2
2,847
Male
Train
... the parent that doesn't help anyone. i think it all boils down to how fucking hard this is.
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S
2.4
2.8
3.6
2,847
Male
Train
it is the most difficult job you will ever have and in my opinion, one of the most important.
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S
2.8
3.2
3.4
2,847
Male
Train
so what are white parents doing?
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N
3.2
3.6
3.2
2,847
Male
Train
have you been, what is it, the word i'm-
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S
3.4
3
3.8
2,846
Male
Train
... these examples of these horrible things that have happened. so-
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X
3
4.2
4.2
2,847
Male
Train
... never. those things are shifted, expanded. it's-
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H
3
4.4
4
2,847
Male
Train
when i say talking, you have a lot of experience with this because, man-
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3.2
3.2
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Male
Train
i feel like i was always a foot in each world for so long.
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3.4
3.6
4.2
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Male
Train
the differences in the way that the parents speak to their kids...
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N
2.4
4.4
3.4
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Male
Train
i feel like, i don't know, i think a lot of things, well, i know for a fact a lot of things-
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3.2
3.2
4.2
2,847
Male
Train
... racism and class issues as well, so-
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