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where would christopher columbus get sugar came from? don't no sugar cane glow in spain. what are you talking about? he didn't bring no goddamn sugar cane to the... little stuff. it was just very-
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... european version of history being told by black people with no questions. usually when you go somewhere, like for instance, we went to louisiana-
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... from where? where would christopher... they ain't bring no fucking-
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it was little things like that along the way that were kind of irking me.
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... no new textbook version of what was going on, so it was just little stuff like that along the way. like we could walk past places and there was just no acknowledgement, but whatever.
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what was it saying? okay, so yeah, we did these little trips and went on the run trips. we did these little excursions, that was nice.
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we're going to have a welcome pool party the first night, and we're going to have guests there for your entertainment, quote fingers, "entertainment". now, here's the part of the story-
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that's going to be a little strange, but i'm going have to-
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... birthday boy and so keisha... sorry.
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fuck it, i said their real names. if i say somebody real name-
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... it's not family member, okay? just leave it at that.
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keisha was closer to my age and she had her daughter young, so her daughter was like in her 30s. she said how old she was-
N
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... cultural references and all of that, right? then there was wendy who was a little older, but still we was the-
X
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... got, and it was a couple. anthony, who i actually met at the birthday party. it was one little other one there, i'm going to tell you about him. george, he was-
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it was cool, but it was not so much on my half, but britney got the stories behind him. so anyway, first night pool party. so we get there-
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... and a few pairs of shorts, and then i had my flying outfit, which was regular clothes.
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... but my host, and i'm telling y'all this for a reason too, my host-
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that's how i looked, i had my yeezy slides, i had my little-
H
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... ink preppy shorts or my green on my blue, and a white t-shirt the whole time. that's all i had. so-
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and i put on my pool swim trunks and go up to the pool.
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so people are already kind of up there, kind of arriving, coming up to the pool. so sammy had hired a bunch of locals.
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... what this entertainment is for, because like i told y'all, there's quite a few gay guys on this trip.
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okay, so they by the pool in they underwear.
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so i'm sitting there, i'm putting shit and two and two together. i'm like, "oh."
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and the reason why, and now it made sense because my cousin, before we left-
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... to do this in the dominican republic. i heard about this, we heard about people do this. this is what they doing, they still on the gay version.
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... casey and jojo had showed up. so casey and jojo's a lesbian couple from newark.
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... birthday boy i believe. yes, because they from... actually, i never really got that story straight, but i believe they're a friend's birthday boy.
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they are a couple who have been together for 34 years. so, keisha the one that started calling her k-ci because-
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the one was short, about my height. brown skin, looked just like k-ci from kc & jojo, and when i say look-
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some of y'all know what i'm talking about. it was a very nineties-
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... pumps in the bump, pool party video look where they would turn... and i remember they stood with they visors too.
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anyway, that's how she had this yellow baseball hat, and that's how she wore the hat, inside out.
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it was given in 1998, inside-out, backwards-
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... bent up. some of y'all know, i'm not explaining it well, but some of y'all know it's exactly what i'm talking about.
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this is what she's given whole vacation, and she looked like k-ci, so we calling her k-ci. her wife, very nice lady, was a lot younger than her though, but very nice lady.
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some of y'all not going... the dykes listening to this, y'all going to get it. it was the energy when-
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i'm struggling so hard to tell y'all this story because it's so crazy, it's so many different plots you need to know. k-ci and them show up, and the energy is already funny. so this is-
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... boss lady. well, she's not boss lady, she needs a boss lady. but we all know-
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... like sizing me up, just trying to figure me out i guess because i'm-
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it confuses them, right? so i'm confused. she was just buzzing around in that way.
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i don't want to tell that part of the story, but there was some other weird energy going on too. so i got weird energy coming from both directions. now, at the time-
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oh, if i tell y'all this is, oh my god, how i'm going to tell y'all this? okay-
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one of their flights got delayed? listen, thank god we all made it because y'all know how they was canceling them flights and i was really worried about it. they didn't cancel nobody's flight, everybody made it, but somebody did lose they luggage.
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... telling people to chatter, so i started gravitating who i gravitate to.
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this is the first night, everybody's noticing, but nobody's saying nothing because we just getting know each other. you don't know who you can kiki with, who you can't, blah-blah-blah. but everybody's-
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and i'm telling y'all this, because later as we got to know each other, start comparing notes, we start realizing, "oh you noticed that too?" "yeah," so this is the first night.
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they start to slide down the other end of the pool, so now i'm confused because i'm like, "all right, are they here for the boys or are they here for the girls?" well, it turned out they was there for everybody.
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it would've been whatever you wanted, because this is what these people do, right? and the reason i took-
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... that the reason we were staying at that hotel is because that is the hotel for that kind of action.
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... wanted to do what they wanted to do. he had to switch to that hotel because he was like, "okay-"
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... all times day and night. so, we figured that out later.
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... ended up like, "oh, okay. so that's why we were staying where we were," and apparently, where we were staying-
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... that's what that place is known for. even though that hotel, they were secure also, but not like-
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... more plusher experience, because i'm not getting no escorts, you know what i mean? and you could have just.... sorry, i'm off-track. but anyway-
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... was scheduled [inaudible 00:07:54] fingers massages.
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so it turns out that the massage, quote fingers, "massage"-
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... also was, if you wanted, more than a happy ending/whatever you want. massage-
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again, gay boy trip, birthday boy trip, they doing gay nigga shit.
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the way the massages were being coordinated, it was a little weird and we were like, "why is this one?" because certain people wanted certain-
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certain people that wanted that extra service had to get certain masseuses.
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i doubt if that lady offered this. maybe she did, i don't know. she did go kind of high up on my thigh one time and i was like, "hey, what? hey." i'd ignored that. i ignored that and i'm not-
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... but that was the second day. okay, so now here's where the funny stories, here's where the scam stories scam donna story starts. that second day-
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because the water, oh my god, the water was amazing. it was all in the pool, we could have stayed in that pool all day. when she started with that, it was like somebody turned the volume down. everybody just was like-
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just facebook, just any... ugh, so i was like, "this motherfucker," so we all got dead silent. everybody was just like-
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... so i've been told. now when people say leos have to be the center, we had two leos on the trip, and now i see exactly what y'all talking about. and god, if that's how they are, good lord, no thank you.
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she was talking too much, she was like-
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i tested, i don't have covid. i'm fine because i wasn't really around them like that, but donna was the... scam donna, when she texted us that she had, because they left a little bit before we did-
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she texted us, she had covid. i was like, "you know what, donna got the new covid, she got a special covid." she just wouldn't want... if you went to the moon-
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... attention seeking, i can't stand it. on my nerves from day one, found out that i wasn't the only one. so-
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but because she wasn't getting a massage, and because like i said, the massages had to be timed a certain way, like i got my massage at 12:00, 12:30.
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sorry, their massages at 4:00 or 5:00 says because-
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what we think is, it was only so many that you could get the extra service from if you wanted to. so they had to like, if two people in a row-
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... one of them, and then it was one of us who was just getting a regular... the coordination was dicey from what i understand, so there was long periods of time-
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... where you was waiting, and if you was not getting a massage, which scam donna was not, then you ain't had nothing to do all day, so she wanted to go to the beach. so, she-
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asking sammy to coordinate this trip to the beach. she's the one that they keep-
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since, and this is, i'm told this story later, i was not there. this is the story they're telling me later.
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so she ... and we see her in the whatsapp, i mean, yo, from like 5:30 in the morning, she's asking him about the beach. so he's like, "okay." but the beach was like a little ways away. tell him, we were downtown.
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so the beach was like a good, i want to say it was 45 to an hour drive. so he was like, "okay, i'll try to arrange it. that's off the schedule, but i'll try to arrange it." so ...
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the beach was so nice. the water was so clear. they telling us about this food they had. they were like, "yeah, we only paid ... " it was actually, it was scam donna, britney-
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they telling us all about it. sorry, you all. they telling us all about it. they showed me the pictures. they had this fried snapper that they said was so fresh and so delicious, and they had this like big ass-
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they were pulling, and this is all i ever want when i go to the caribbean, i could not get it at the bahamas. i was like, "i want seafood so fresh-"
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that they're pulling it out of the ocean and making it. and that's what they were doing at the dr. and they were pulling it ... we were at boca chica beach-
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i don't know how many pesos it was. listen the whole time ... their people could have ... we had, um-
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they telling me that for the first course, when they told me about the snapper, because red snapper is my favorite fish anyway-
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she tells us she had 10... she kept saying-
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she kept saying that's all she had, 10 american dollars. keisha was like, "and you know what? she probably went home with that same 10 american dollars because she ain't even paid for nothing."
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they were saying that good thing he was there because you know my cousin-
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he just gave them some money, because we ain't know how the money worked at first. we figured it out like the third day.
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i'm going to have cash, just in case, for the shit like the beach, so. and i didn't spend-
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actually, yes, i did spend all those pesos. i wasn't trying to bring no pesos back, but that's not all the cash i had. i actually took 400 cash there, but i only-
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... and then a hundred pesos, that's like $10, something like that.
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my cousin didn't notice it, but roe caught it right away. roe was like, "hey, no, no, no, no."
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you owe him, gabe told him whatever, and he act like, "oh, i'm sorry." so there was definitely that, we definitely-
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my cousin, who i told y'all is a trump supporter-
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and scam donna got into this big argument because-
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keisha says she would laugh so hard. she don't even really know how it got started. but apparently-
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was doing great on the train. he didn't say nothing crazy, just said, they said donna was going off. donna would-
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you just ... when you figure that you can't ... so we just don't even argue with like whatever. but donna was-
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keisha and britney said they was laughing so hard because-
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