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falls on the floor, smashes everywhere and alison was standing next to me i was like, "you did it."
U
6.181818
3.272727
5.636364
131
Female
i thought she knocked the glass over and she was like, "you did that!" so we-
X
6
3.2
5.6
1249
Female
she was like, "remember when you knocked that glass over?" i was like, "yeah, and i still think you did that." and she was like, "are you fucking [inaudible 00:04:07].
X
5.75
4.083333
5.25
131
Female
one side of your face droopy lately?no.they appear to be symmetrical.i was sitting at my desk and my hand just-
X
4.6
4.2
5
1249
Female
zest. it is like october and your daughter's performing witchcraft. apparently
X
4.2
5
4.2
1249
Female
and i was holding the cup like it was a pint glass of beer at a bar like one of those really heavy glasses and i'm talking...
N
5.6
4.8
5
131
Female
purse and it was like a full 16 ounce
U
6
4.8
5.4
131
Female
pint that i'd just gotten and it just dropped in my purse and everyone's like, "did you just let go of that?"
U
5.4
4.6
5.2
131
Female
she just shot it off the back of the counter. but i did and it was super loud because it was hollow. so the whole store, it was like, goosh. i was like-
H
5.4
5.2
4.8
1249
Female
right after i had our second baby so she was a baby, baby, baby, but my mother-in-law was about to go on this cross country horseback riding trip, right when we were breaking up
N
5.076923
4.307692
4.769231
131
Female
and you're emotional, you do some things, things aren't always in context.
U
5.2
3.2
3.6
131
Female
...slum dogs. okay, so i'm totally slum dog and i go to hot topic and-
H
5.2
5.6
4.8
Unknown
Unknown
two sparrows holding a scroll that said, "trust no one."
H
5.2
4.8
3.4
131
Female
the newborn baby, she's trying to be so nice to me. she was really hurting for what i was going through and stuff. so i'm sitting...
H
6
5.4
5.6
131
Female
her sister shows up and she sees it, and she was like "are you okay?"
U
6.2
5
4.4
131
Female
i've done some fucking cringe-worthy shit, that's for sure. it was also post-divorce after me and nick.
C
4.6
2.4
4
130
Female
[inaudible 00:00:14] do crazy things, but anyways.
H
5
5.8
4.8
130
Female
super ready to fucking beat someone's ass at any moment. that kind of person.
H
5.181818
4.454545
4.727273
130
Female
she was the shit. so i was hanging out with her and we went to this club in austin.
H
4.6
5.4
4.2
130
Female
people dancing in cages type of thing.
C
4.8
2.6
4.4
130
Female
... yeah, yeah. they're like "hit that bitch with the bottle," and i'm like "yeah-"
H
5.8
5
5.4
1249
Female
we'll figure out that i don't know. i was up there doing some kind of shit.
N
5.8
4.2
5
130
Female
any of them, like my whole life is like a montage of embarrassing moments, but they're funny to me [crosstalk 00:00:47].
H
5
5.8
5
131
Female
i've done some shit too. okay, did i ever tell you about the time i ate a rattlesnake?no.this was dangerous. i don't know why i did this. this was also post-
H
3.2
5.4
4.4
1249
Female
... but it was this group of army guys and they would come into the restaurant all the time-
X
4.2
4.4
4.6
1249
Female
when you're in the army you can't do drugs or anything. you can drink and that's about it. but these guys just weren't really big into drinking.
N
3.2
4.2
3.8
1249
Female
it's something called coricidin cold and cough.
N
3.4
4.4
3.6
130
Female
a little something you might find at the local [inaudible 00:06:23]. it's a cough-
H
4.8
5.6
4.6
1249
Female
emails about the hurricane. oh no, i'm getting scared you guys. okay. so what's going to, what do you think is likely to happen? it's still going to just hug up the coast and go up?
F
4.8
3
4.2
130
Female
i have no idea. that's what they're saying now. i guess that's the plan.
X
4.4
3.2
4.4
1249
Female
the story, from my perspective, some of the tales of-
N
2.8
3.8
4.2
130
Female
-spooky things that happened while i was living there. some of the stories that were told to me by-
F
3.6
3.2
4
130
Female
i don't know the exact number. i think almost 10 kids. but her mother.
N
3.8
3.8
3.6
130
Female
granny always swore that the ghosts in upton followed her there.
N
4
4.8
3.8
130
Female
when my aunt comes out and her fingers are okay. they're not broken or anything, but you know, they're kind of red.
F
3.2
2.6
3
130
Female
okay. this week, i think it was three days ago... oh, well i guess we could talk about something that's affecting both of us, the fucking hurricane-
H
3.8
5
4.6
1249
Female
...i get a text at seven in the morning. no, i want to be, if i'm not coming to work, i want to be sleeping.
A
5.8
3
5.4
Unknown
Unknown
i don't know. nothing cool has happened to me.
N
2.8
3.2
3.4
130
Female
on the fucking, i don't know. i don't know what i would say. a super editor.
X
3.6
4.4
4.8
130
Female
[inaudible 00:06:31].yeah, i don't want to hear no bullshit. so, let's say that you're cruising in your-
H
4.8
4.8
4.4
1249
Female
hey, two for $3 mcmuffin.
X
3.4
3.8
3.4
130
Female
what? she said, what's the deal with that?
H
6
3.8
5.8
131
Female
...ask for this promotion and we're going to give you a better deal or something.did she ask if it was airline food? what's up with that? was it two for three egg mcmuffins?and it was like an old lady-fucking jerry seinfeld up there.
X
5.4
5
4.6
Unknown
Unknown
[inaudible 00:01:33]she was old enough to know what two for something means.
X
6.2
5.2
5.8
1249
Female
[crosstalk 00:01:51].you get two mcmuffins for $3. she's like, oh-
H
5.6
4.6
5.6
131
Female
fucking mcdonald's rots your mind. that's where you can't even read a stupid marquee.
C
4.8
3
3.8
131
Female
i'm outraged and just turn-well, for once, i'm not talking about mcdonald's employees. i'm talking about the customers. i was-
H
6.2
6.4
5.6
1249
Female
it was i think sunday morning and raven and stevie, they were still sleeping, but i wanted to do something nice for them, and they like those sausage mcgriddles, just plain sausage mc-
H
4.2
5
4.8
1249
Female
a whole, like a feather in my mouth. like i was like, [inaudible 00:02:06].
D
4.2
4
3.8
130
Female
i go in and i'm like, "hey, what's this shit?" they have a thing in there where you just order-
D
4.8
3.4
4.8
130
Female
-it never tapered off. it was like the same intense of freshness at 7:00 am. and 10:00 am.what kind of mouthwash was that?crest pro-health.
U
5.333333
5.416667
4.916667
131
Female
[inaudible 00:02:23] you know what's awful is coffee with mouthwash mouth.
D
5.111111
3.222222
4.222222
130
Female
whenever you do go to rageon.com, you can get all kinds of cool ass shirts. they got dragon ball z stuff.
H
5
5.454545
4.636364
130
Female
so as you know, there was the fucking presidential debates that occurred, and that was a shit show. gary johnson was correct. it was a shit show.
D
3.8
2.2
4.2
130
Female
... and one of us will be playing as donald.
N
3.8
4.6
4.4
1249
Female
i don't know if they can see it too well.
N
2.8
3.4
2
1249
Female
attach a link to the show notes so that you can get to it. basically, you decide who won. who won this weird fucking debate.
X
3.6
3
3.6
130
Female
... and not only does she look just like me, but she also has fucking ninja skills, and she will climb.
H
4.2
4.6
4.6
1249
Female
defeat kim jong-un with my body double.
H
3.4
4.2
4.2
Unknown
Unknown
so, the final answer to that particular question. let me have your card and i'll put it with them.
H
5.3
6.2
4.9
130
Female
what you all don't know is i'm really an evil reptilian alien.
H
4.6
4.4
4.6
1249
Female
i keep holding them up like you can see it.i know. it's so white.it's a white card.
H
4.2
5.2
4.2
Unknown
Unknown
that was the card i had, was take all their guns.
H
5
5.8
4.8
Unknown
Unknown
i have a lot of stamina and it's going to take stamina to defeat isis. i will say it right now, islamic. i'm not afraid to say it. some people are.
A
6.2
2.6
6
131
Female
i will tell you right now, the only way we're going to solve this problem-
A
4.6
3
5.2
1249
Female
there's pouring across our borders. they're bringing in the guns, the drugs. the only way we're going to do this, everyone who visits trump towers will get one coupon for a free taco bowl.
X
4.8
2.8
5
131
Female
hispanics, i'm told are loving them. they're the absolute best, the absolute best. the taco bells at trump towers, a1. people will get hooked on my taco bells.
H
5.8
5.8
5.4
131
Female
well, donald, i have to say that you're wrong about the taco bowls and you're wrong about the mexican people.
A
4.818182
2.363636
4.727273
130
Female
... because they don't identify with things like that. they don't donald, you're out-
A
5.8
2.8
5.4
1249
Female
is your abuela mexican drug cartel? i will love you and nourish you with my bosom.
C
5.4
3.6
4.6
130
Female
you don't have to act like this anymore, because i-
C
4.9
3.2
4.6
130
Female
okay so those are our answers. mandy's.
H
5
5.6
4.2
Unknown
Unknown
-know there are all these outraged hispanic people, who are like "my grandmother's from cuba and she swam all the way over here. and you don't know shit."
H
5.6
3.4
4.6
130
Female
listen.this is difficult.i came from virtually nothing and made myself an empire-
H
4.2
4.6
4.8
1249
Female
hackers, if they just happened to look into this bank account information, they may be able to get some answers. i'm not-
N
5.2
3.8
4.6
131
Female
bacterial pneumonia that won't infect the employees.all right. next question is, when it comes to abortion, as president, i will blank.
H
5
4.4
4.8
1249
Female
if we start a new chapter.
H
4
4.8
4.4
1249
Female
then we'll be headed in the right direction for our women in this country. my husband, bill, will be in charge of the abortion clinics.
H
4.6
4.8
4.6
1249
Female
-like the worst person on the face of the planet for coming up with the shit that i'm coming up with.okay.
H
4.5
3.666667
4.166667
130
Female
because when you are a suave barber, sometimes the ladies love you.
H
6.2
4.8
5.8
1249
Female
alright, so basically hillary will put her husband, bill, in charge of abortions, and you'll put your-
C
4.2
3
3
130
Female
we're a little in debt now, so it's not going to be as big as we'd like to make it.
D
5.6
3.4
5.2
130
Female
i'm sorry. it's for the greater good.
S
2.818182
3.454545
2.727273
130
Female
stockpile it so we can build this wall. but, i don't think it's unreasonable.
A
5.416667
3.5
5.166667
131
Female
i'm not, i don't hate that. oh, that's my work.
N
3
3.6
2.8
130
Female
... that you're going to get to the top is with pantsuits. i plan to start-
N
4
3.4
4.6
1249
Female
i'm going to, i don't... skip.
H
4
5.2
2.8
1249
Female
a little donald-esque, not answering the question.yeah, it fit.
H
4.8
4.8
4.4
Unknown
Unknown
could be the wave of the future. i don't personally know a lot about it.
U
4.4
4.6
4.6
130
Female
this country, wonderful. not great. we can make it wonderful.
H
3.2
4.6
3.2
130
Female
... vote for hillary.
X
2.2
4.2
3.4
1249
Female
you guys may have heard a couple things about tax issues.
H
4.2
4.4
4.2
1249
Female
so we did periscope that. i hope you watched it. i hope you had a good-
H
4
5.4
4.8
Unknown
Unknown
it's true.and we're giving this shit away for free. so they have no expectations or room to complain.you have no expectations.once you start paying for shit, then there's a complaint box. but beggars can't be.
H
4.8
5
4
Unknown
Unknown
there was this... oh, god-
N
3.8
3.4
3
1249
Female
okay, i don't usually talk shit about people just for being weird looking.
N
2.4
2.8
3.6
130
Female
maybe he took someone's vest.i had to circle back around with the car, to come look at him again, to see why he...
U
4.6
4.6
4.6
131
Female
no!oh god.he looked god, he like-
A
5.2
2.4
5.2
Unknown
Unknown
i mean, he wasn't repulsive, but if you looked at him straight on, he was like a shark, hollow eyes. there was nothing there.
X
4.6
2.6
4.2
131
Female
i ignored it. he was, "let me get your number." you know how i do, gave it in block. so, i gave it to him, blocked it.
C
4.4
3.6
5.2
131
Female