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and not a negative.wow.and if you live with that positivity all of your life, without that fear of death. wow.
U
4
4.8
4.6
606
Male
well, what my purpose is your purpose. what you do is what i'm doing.
N
3.8
4.2
4.2
606
Male
wow. i don't think i've ever actually viewed it in that way.
N
3.8
4.2
4.2
605
Female
so how do you ever figure out what your calling is? because i know when i was younger.
U
3.8
4.8
4
605
Female
i wanted to become a surgeon. i love singing, but i'm not a good singer.
H
4.2
4.8
4.8
605
Female
those two things. i want it to become a surgeon because i thought i wanted to change lives and help people, but i hate blood. so when.
X
4.6
4.4
4.4
605
Female
however, the concerns that you might have about what you think you should be doing and where life takes you.mm-hmm (affirmative)don't concern yourself.
N
3.4
4.6
4.8
606
Male
but the world tends to look down and occupations like that and then people kind of suppress their feelings because they feel like, "it's not what i'm supposed to do. it's not good enough."
N
3.8
3.6
4.6
605
Female
it makes them feel, it belittles them for that to be their calling and not everyone can do the same things in life.
N
4.4
4.2
4.4
605
Female
i shouldn't be frowning upon you.mm-hmm (affirmative).and that's where humility comes in.mm-hmm (affirmative).the humility.
N
3.8
4.2
3.8
606
Male
part of my journey and part of the whole process of loving.mm-hmm (affirmative).and getting people to feel correct. then, i'm doing the right thing.
X
4
5.4
4.6
606
Male
the lady who was cleaning the toilet, every time someone came in, she'd be like, "welcome to my office."
H
4
3.8
3.6
605
Female
well, basically the tripod, well, i call it the tripod in terms of, of sorting out the anxiety process, which i.
N
3.2
3.6
3.4
606
Male
the fear of not being loved or not feeling that emotional love. also, the.
N
3.5
3.5
3.833333
606
Male
every day, i'd do it for the rest of my life.
N
4.2
4.2
4.4
606
Male
it's okay i have fake people around me, but pretend to love me.
X
3.2
2.6
3.6
605
Female
but if i don't have money, then i have to literally go and start searching for the [inaudible 00:00:14].
X
3.8
3
4.2
605
Female
he's christian. he hasn't changed, he hasn't mentioned the word as far as
N
4
4.2
4.6
1270
Female
you don't have any purpose, you don't necessarily have any deep purpose to your life, whereas christianity.
X
3
3.4
3.6
1269
Male
i don't think it's a religious thing, because i, for one, and this is again, just my opinion feel like religion condemns so many things.
A
4
3.4
4
605
Female
it judges gay people, it judges people that cheat.
A
4.8
2.8
4.8
605
Female
you only become a bad person when life happens and things happen. things happen.
N
3.2
3.2
4.2
605
Female
i think it's just in our inner human nature to feel that way.
N
3.6
3.8
3.6
605
Female
you know, i'm not telling you this, so you can feel sorry for me, but i'm from a very conservative family
N
2.6
3.4
3.8
603
Female
and this was in the 1960's. so, i had very very few options at that time.
S
3.4
2.8
3.6
603
Female
abortion was not legal, but you could imagine that that was not my choice for how i would become a mother
S
3.5
3.333333
3.916667
603
Female
at that time. as i saw it, was to have my baby and give him up for adoption.
N
3.833333
3.833333
3.833333
603
Female
some little hidden place for me, it was a home for unwed mothers, and then we'd have our babies,
S
3.2
3.2
3.2
603
Female
we'd give them up for adoption, and then we'd returned to high school pretending that we just been on extended vacations. except something went buzzing.
S
3.4
2.6
2.8
603
Female
the nurses made what i always assumed was a mistake and they bought me [inaudible 00:01:50].
A
4.4
3.2
4
603
Female
i kept saying, he's got my face, it's got my face, oh shit.
F
5.4
2.8
5.2
603
Female
i made a decision to parent the child of my rapist. so for 45 years, i've been tethered to my rapist.
S
2.545455
2.272727
4.181818
603
Female
he also is dead now, but he was a pedophile. my son had to deal
S
3.4
3.4
3.4
603
Female
because no young girl should be sexually abused by a relative.
D
4
2.8
4.8
603
Female
and once that happens, i should still have choices of whether or not
N
3.4
3.2
3.8
603
Female
all of those choices were denied to me before i was even 19 years old.
S
2
2
3.8
603
Female
i probably am still internalizing it, you know, i've been in therapy for, i don't know how long.
H
4
4.4
4.2
603
Female
i told mckenzie, i don't want to go over there. i don't want to work with those white women.
C
5.2
3
5.4
603
Female
you think a panther would lead you wrong?
X
5.8
3.4
5.8
603
Female
i mean, this woman broke down weapons
H
5.363636
5.545455
5.090909
603
Female
in the black liberation army. i was trying to figure out what oppression.
X
3.8
4.2
4
603
Female
thanks to the kid, gee, i ended up over at the dc rape crisis center.
N
5
4
5
603
Female
you go to a medical practitioner?
X
5.090909
5.181818
5.181818
603
Female
oh my god, i'm late. oh my god.
X
5.454545
2.545455
4.636364
603
Female
when i get fired from my job, if i decide to keep them, but oh my god.
F
5.888889
2
5.111111
603
Female
this is the real conversations that go on in women's heads. when that period is just a little bit late, and you know you've been sexually active, and you're like,
S
3.8
3.2
3.2
603
Female
oh shit. the answers to those, oh my god conversations are going to determine whether she's ready to become a parent or
N
5
4
4.8
603
Female
not. if she doesn't have health care, if she's worried about getting battered by her partner,
X
4.916667
2.5
5.083333
603
Female
[inaudible 00:03:54] snore, the pro-life side pays attention to the conditions in a woman's life before she becomes pregnant.
N
4.2
3.4
4.8
603
Female
one trying to say we're giving her choices, and the other saying, we're trying to take away her choices so that she has the baby.
A
4.4
3.6
5
603
Female
but if you don't pay attention to those, oh my god considerations, you're not giving her choices that make sense.
A
4.4
3.2
5.2
603
Female
the human rights framework, we came up with a concept of reproductive justice, and reproductive justice
X
4.8
4.6
5
603
Female
where our right to be mothers is often deeply contested.
C
4.6
3.8
4.6
603
Female
we also joined with the pro-choice movement in fighting for the right to abortion, to birth control.
X
3.222222
4.111111
4.888889
603
Female
so reproductive justice is not a way to avoid saying abortion.
N
3.6
3.2
4.2
603
Female
it just goes beyond abortion. and then we have to fight for the right to parent our children.
X
4.4
2.6
5.6
603
Female
.. women to parent. the right for people who are disabled to express their parenting right, trans people to become parents, all of these rights to parent.
A
4.8
4
5.6
603
Female
but to do so in safe and healthy environment, so that means that we have to fight against gun violence as part of the right.
S
3.8
3.4
3.6
603
Female
i sat up all night on my cot, holding my knees close to my chest.
X
3.4
3.6
4
604
Female
my spirit was dying because at times i preferred the box than to be in general population.
S
3.2
3.8
4
604
Female
they kept me in. once again,
C
3.2
2.8
3.6
604
Female
i realized that i was no longer 23 years old when i first started jailing going behind the wall. now, i was 28.
S
2.428571
3.285714
3.142857
604
Female
where had all the years gone?
S
2
2.4
2.6
604
Female
the worst death i suffered was the death of my spirit
C
3.8
3.6
3.4
604
Female
knitting booties, then the fear set in again.
X
3.4
3.6
3.8
604
Female
[inaudible 00:00:59] if i don't change, change did not come easy at all but it came. change was hard for me on the outside.
X
3.1
3.9
4
604
Female
i felt i had no purpose, even worse,
S
3
2.6
3.4
604
Female
i have a brother who did 20 years behind the wall. he found life outside the wall,
X
3.4
3.4
4
604
Female
he found his purpose and worth, while behind the wall, he found out that his true father is a king.
N
2.8
4.6
3.8
604
Female
but we will do everything to defeat it.
N
2.4
3.8
4
1270
Female
i remember that day, it was probably one of the worst days of my life
N
3.8
4
4.2
1270
Female
but we had satellite so we could watch side-by-side that how different the portrayal was. and
S
2.4
3.6
2.2
1269
Male
for my dad and his peers, the other men in the community.
S
2.4
3
3
1270
Female
that's what they think. we are traitors.
N
2.2
3.4
3.8
1270
Female
who massively rejected this constitution and there were fears that may further divide this-
N
5
3.4
4.6
1270
Female
shooting a gun with their eyes closed because they're just doing it-
U
4.6
3
4.4
1270
Female
because we were burning so much stuff.
S
3
3.6
3.4
1270
Female
when i was on the ground, my goal is to make it back home alive and to do whatever it takes to come back home alive.
X
4.2
5.2
5.6
1270
Female
so let me say this as plainly as i can, by august 31st, 2010-
X
4.6
5
6.2
1270
Female
i believed him at the time and i thought it was a good thing. and i thought, okay, i can finally move ahead with my life, put this war behind me.
S
3.285714
4.142857
3.142857
1270
Female
... over there. i think that
N
2.2
3.2
2.4
1269
Male
it should be known that the fight is much tougher than anyone could imagine, no matter weaponry that we have.
S
2.666667
3.083333
3.833333
1270
Female
i mean even the framing is up for grabs and i have three fantastic south africans with me. i have a third-
X
4.6
3.2
3.8
598
Male
we don't have a script for it and i'm only going to be asking the odd prompting question to make sure there's no dead air.
N
4
4.6
4
598
Male
what should we even be talking about before i start mansplaining to you the issues that are actually the heart of your lives?
X
5.2
4
5.2
598
Male
what is it that we want to fight for? and then from there if you see yourself as being a feminist, then that's good. but [inaudible 00:03:15] and if you don't- ...
X
4.666667
4
4.333333
600
Female
contribution that black feminists have specifically made to political struggles around gender.
S
4
4.2
4.8
601
Female
and which are feminism. i mean feminism as a discourse, feminism as a movement is very important. does it alienate some women though?
N
5
4.6
4.8
598
Male
i have seen women who don't know about the theory who do feminist acts and they're not aware of this feminist theory that exists. so i guess
N
3.6
3.6
3.8
599
Female
[inaudible 00:03:41] is it's theorized it an exclusive space but feminist acts aren't necessarily exclusive.
N
3.666667
4
4.5
599
Female
i think the first thing we need to understand is that it's not just a question of difference, it's a question of power. who has the power to define which feminism has the most importance?
X
4.6
4.4
5.2
600
Female
i mean they show the first wave, second wave, third wave feminism, that's coming from a particular history, even the concept of waves is coming from a particular history. where the first wave feminism, especially with the suffragettes-
N
5.4
4.4
5
600
Female
i learned another history, i learned about, sigourney weaver and how she was also a part of that movement. and how actually black voices was still speaking out then. but then of course, where was my history? i was coming from a-
A
5
4.6
5
600
Female
but then can i respond to that? i understand, you're saying that intersectionality, even feminism, these words are for everyone. but at the same time, i mean
X
6.2
2.8
6.2
600
Female
we need to understand that these words are, we're saying these words in english, we're saying these... and because we're using it in english, we're coming from the university spaces, this is from a particular history.
X
5
4.4
5
600
Female
so yes, it may be for anyone but then the real issue is that it is for those who can use it. so then it becomes these words are for those who can use it.
N
4.833333
4.666667
5.666667
600
Female
how can i still be included but then without having to be intimidated by these big english words? i mean isn't that the next issue-
A
6.416667
2.166667
6.333333
600
Female
then just because it's for everyone, can everyone use it? but the thing, i think-
H
5.2
4.8
4.8
600
Female
i think we should realize that theorizations also happening in different=.
N
5.454545
3.454545
4.454545
601
Female
so i think that there's a lot of, in terms of people-
N
4.8
4.2
3.6
601
Female