prompt stringlengths 843 5.68k | chosen stringlengths 572 6.12k | rejected stringlengths 532 5.37k | metadata dict |
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You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
In moments of significant disruption, rather than seeking solace in established norms, I am compelled to proactively engage with challenges. My accomplishments include:
**Honors:**
* **Atlas Fellowship:** I was recognized as a fellow for demonstrating exceptional "agency" and a profound commitment to developing innovative solutions for global challenges, particularly in the domain of AI alignment. This commendation included a $10,000 award, generously funded by Open Philanthropy.
* **USA Math Olympiad (USAMO) and Junior Math Olympiad (JMO):** My mathematical aptitude was consistently acknowledged through qualifications for the JMO in both 7th and 8th grades. In 9th grade, I earned an honorable mention on the USAMO with a score of 20/42, placing me among the top 115 nationally. Subsequently, in 10th grade, I achieved honors on the JMO with a score of 27/42, ranking within the top 30 nationally for participants in 10th grade and below.
**Activities:**
* **LIVE (Lead Intern):** In my capacity as lead intern, I undertook several initiatives:
* I conceptualized and implemented the training protocol for new interns.
* I instituted the tradition of conducting "graduations" to commemorate the successful completion of intern training.
* I authored the "Instructor Thesaurus," a comprehensive reference designed to offer diverse pedagogical approaches for common mathematical explanations.
* **DECA (Two-Year President):** As the inaugural two-year president of DECA, my leadership yielded substantial results:
* I augmented member resources by a factor of three.
* I spearheaded the organization's first 5K event, which garnered 524 participants, with all proceeds dedicated to the Excellence Fund.
* I orchestrated the first-ever DECA Christmas initiative, facilitating the distribution of 120 "DECA gifts" containing professional development challenges to members' residences.
* **Publication at International Conference on Mechatronics and Intelligent Control:** My foundational interest in the application of AI within educational contexts emerged from a project focused on enhancing teacher recruitment and retention. This endeavor involved collaboration with my school's Principal and the district's Director of Staffing and Talent Acquisition. This initial work ultimately culminated in my contribution to a published paper addressing sociotechnical standards for integrating AI into classroom environments.
Human-style rewrite: | The tornado came to shuffle a
deck of cards, and nowadays, instead of hiding in comfort, I pull out my lasso and throw. Additional information
More on Honors
Philanthropy. IE
Honor 1: Atlas Fellowship. I was named a fellow for demonstrating “agency,” a strong ambition for
creative ideas to solve global issues, such as AI alignment. My $10k award was funded by Open
Honor 2: USA Math Olympiad (USAMO) and Junior Math Olympiad (JMO). I qualified for JMO in
7th and 8th grade. I received an honorable mention on USAMO in 9th grade (Score: 20/42; top 115
nationally) and achieved honors on JMO in 10th grade (Score: 27/42; top 30 nationally 10th grade
and below). More on Activities
Activity 1: LIVE. As lead intern, I
- Designed the process to train new interns
- Began tradition of hosting “graduations,” celebrating interns finishing training
- Created the “Instructor Thesaurus,” a reference book for different ways to present cliche math
explanations. Activity 3: DECA. As the first two-year president, I
- Tripled resources for members. - Led first DECA 5K with 524 participants; all profits donated to Excellence Fund. - Organized first ever DECA Christmas, where 120 “DECA gifts” with professional development
challenges were delivered to members’ homes. Activity 9: Publication at International Conference on Mechatronics and Intelligent Control. My
retention, working with my school’s Principal and district’s Director of Staffing and Talent
Acquisition. Eventually, this led me to work on this paper about sociotechnical standards on
approaching AI in the classroom. | In moments of significant disruption, rather than seeking solace in established norms, I am compelled to proactively engage with challenges. My accomplishments include:
**Honors:**
* **Atlas Fellowship:** I was recognized as a fellow for demonstrating exceptional "agency" and a profound commitment to developing innovative solutions for global challenges, particularly in the domain of AI alignment. This commendation included a $10,000 award, generously funded by Open Philanthropy.
* **USA Math Olympiad (USAMO) and Junior Math Olympiad (JMO):** My mathematical aptitude was consistently acknowledged through qualifications for the JMO in both 7th and 8th grades. In 9th grade, I earned an honorable mention on the USAMO with a score of 20/42, placing me among the top 115 nationally. Subsequently, in 10th grade, I achieved honors on the JMO with a score of 27/42, ranking within the top 30 nationally for participants in 10th grade and below.
**Activities:**
* **LIVE (Lead Intern):** In my capacity as lead intern, I undertook several initiatives:
* I conceptualized and implemented the training protocol for new interns.
* I instituted the tradition of conducting "graduations" to commemorate the successful completion of intern training.
* I authored the "Instructor Thesaurus," a comprehensive reference designed to offer diverse pedagogical approaches for common mathematical explanations.
* **DECA (Two-Year President):** As the inaugural two-year president of DECA, my leadership yielded substantial results:
* I augmented member resources by a factor of three.
* I spearheaded the organization's first 5K event, which garnered 524 participants, with all proceeds dedicated to the Excellence Fund.
* I orchestrated the first-ever DECA Christmas initiative, facilitating the distribution of 120 "DECA gifts" containing professional development challenges to members' residences.
* **Publication at International Conference on Mechatronics and Intelligent Control:** My foundational interest in the application of AI within educational contexts emerged from a project focused on enhancing teacher recruitment and retention. This endeavor involved collaboration with my school's Principal and the district's Director of Staffing and Talent Acquisition. This initial work ultimately culminated in my contribution to a published paper addressing sociotechnical standards for integrating AI into classroom environments. | {
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"chosen_words": 250
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
The academic record for Haoxi C. Duan, , " The transcript indicates enrollment at the Second High School Attached to Beijing Normal University, located at No. 18 Guan Ao Yuan, Bao Sheng Li Hai Dian District, Beijing, CHN ().
**Grade 10 Coursework:**
During Grade 10, the curriculum included a variety of subjects. In Computer Science, "Information Technology" was completed at a regular level, earning A+ grades for both S1 and S2. History featured "AP Microeconomics" at an AP level, resulting in an A- for S1 and an A+ for S2. English coursework encompassed "Language Art Level 1" and "Language Art Level 2," both at the C PREP level, yielding an A in S1 for Level 1 and an A+ in S2 for Level 2. Additionally, "Communication Skills 1" was taken at the C PREP level, achieving an A in S2. Physics included "AP Physics 1" at an AP level, with grades of A- in S1 and A in S2.
**Grade 11 Coursework:**
For Grade 11, the academic year 2023-24 followed a semester-based schedule. Language studies involved "Chinese" at a regular level, with grades of A- in S1 and A in S2, and "English" at a regular level, achieving A+ in both S1 and S2. In History, "Politics" was completed at a regular level with an A- in S1, and "AP Macroeconomics" at an AP level, earning an A in S1 and an A+ in S2. Physics included "Physics" at a regular level, resulting in an A in S1, and "AP Physics C: Mechanics" at an AP level, with A grades for both S1 and S2. Arts subjects comprised "Music" and "Fine Arts," both at a regular level, each receiving A+ grades for S1 and S2. Science included "General Tech" at a regular level, with A+ grades in S1 and S2, and "AP Chemistry" at an AP level, earning A grades for both S1 and S2. Physical Education and Health ("P.E.") was taken at a regular level, with an A- in S1 and an A in S2. English coursework also included "Communication Skills 2" at the C PREP level, achieving an A+ in S1. Mathematics featured "AP Calculus BC" at an AP level, with an A in S1 and an A+ in S2, and "Mathematics" at a regular level, earning an A+ in S2.
**University of Wisconsin-Madison Application Information:**
For the University of Wisconsin-Madison application, the preferred start
Human-style rewrite: | REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
COMPSCI Information REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
Technology
HIST AP AP A- A+ N/A N/A N/A
Microeconomics
ENG Language Art C PREP A N/A N/A N/A
Level 1
PHYS AP Physics 1 AP A- A N/A N/A N/A
ENG Language Art C PREP A+ N/A N/A N/A
Level 2
ENG Communication C PREP A N/A N/A N/A
Skills 1
Grade 11
Second High School Attached to Beijing Normal University, No 18 Guan Ao Yuan, Bao
School Year 2023-24
Schedule Semesters
Grades (A-F) Credits
Subject Course Name Level S1 S2 Final S1 S2 Final
LANG Chinese REG A- A N/A N/A N/A
ENG English REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
HIST Politics REG A- N/A N/A N/A
PHYS Physics REG A N/A N/A N/A
ART Music REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
ART Fine Arts REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
SCI General Tech REG A+ A+ N/A N/A N/A
Grades (A-F) Credits
Subject Course Name Level S1 S2 Final S1 S2 Final
PE/HLTH P.E. REG A- A N/A N/A N/A
HIST AP AP A A+ N/A N/A N/A
Macroeconomic
ENG Communication C PREP A+ N/A N/A N/A
Skills 2
CALC AP Calculus BC AP A A+ N/A N/A N/A
PHYS AP Physics C: AP A A N/A N/A N/A
Mechanics
CHEM AP Chemistry AP A A N/A N/A N/A
MATH Mathematics REG A+ N/A N/A N/A
Grade 12
No courses reported. Other courses
University of Wisconsin-Madison questions
General
Preferred start term Preferred Decision Plan Early Action
Will you be graduating No
or have you graduated
from a high school in
the United States? What senior secondary China Huikao or APT results
leaving document or
diploma will you earn? | The academic record for Haoxi C. Duan, , " The transcript indicates enrollment at the Second High School Attached to Beijing Normal University, located at No. 18 Guan Ao Yuan, Bao Sheng Li Hai Dian District, Beijing, CHN ().
**Grade 10 Coursework:**
During Grade 10, the curriculum included a variety of subjects. In Computer Science, "Information Technology" was completed at a regular level, earning A+ grades for both S1 and S2. History featured "AP Microeconomics" at an AP level, resulting in an A- for S1 and an A+ for S2. English coursework encompassed "Language Art Level 1" and "Language Art Level 2," both at the C PREP level, yielding an A in S1 for Level 1 and an A+ in S2 for Level 2. Additionally, "Communication Skills 1" was taken at the C PREP level, achieving an A in S2. Physics included "AP Physics 1" at an AP level, with grades of A- in S1 and A in S2.
**Grade 11 Coursework:**
For Grade 11, the academic year 2023-24 followed a semester-based schedule. Language studies involved "Chinese" at a regular level, with grades of A- in S1 and A in S2, and "English" at a regular level, achieving A+ in both S1 and S2. In History, "Politics" was completed at a regular level with an A- in S1, and "AP Macroeconomics" at an AP level, earning an A in S1 and an A+ in S2. Physics included "Physics" at a regular level, resulting in an A in S1, and "AP Physics C: Mechanics" at an AP level, with A grades for both S1 and S2. Arts subjects comprised "Music" and "Fine Arts," both at a regular level, each receiving A+ grades for S1 and S2. Science included "General Tech" at a regular level, with A+ grades in S1 and S2, and "AP Chemistry" at an AP level, earning A grades for both S1 and S2. Physical Education and Health ("P.E.") was taken at a regular level, with an A- in S1 and an A in S2. English coursework also included "Communication Skills 2" at the C PREP level, achieving an A+ in S1. Mathematics featured "AP Calculus BC" at an AP level, with an A in S1 and an A+ in S2, and "Mathematics" at a regular level, earning an A+ in S2.
**University of Wisconsin-Madison Application Information:**
For the University of Wisconsin-Madison application, the preferred start | {
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You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Engagement with such poetic constructs reveals that meaning transcends mere explicit articulation; rather, it is actively forged, viscerally experienced, and persistently underlies the act of verbalization, thereby interfacing not solely with semantic boundaries but also with the quintessential essence of human existence.
**Works Cited**
Brooks, Cleanth. *The Well Wrought Urn: Studies in the Structure of Poetry*. Harcourt, Brace, 1957.
Dash, Bipin. “Symbolism in W.B. Yeats Poetry: A Critical Study.” *International Journal of English and Studies*, vol. 4, no. 3, Mar. 2022.
Derrida, Jacques. *Of Grammatology*. Translated by Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, 4th ed., Johns Hopkins University Press, 2016.
Dickinson, Emily, and Thomas H. Johnson. *Selected Letters*. Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 1971.
Dickinson, Emily. *The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson*. Back Bay Books, 1976.
Eliot, T. S. “The Music of Poetry.” *On Poetry and Poets*, Faber and Faber, London, 1957, pp. 26–38.
Eliot, T. S. *The Waste Land*. Project Gutenberg, 1998. \[E-book number 1321]
Güven, Samet. “A Modernist Approach to T.S Eliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” *Journal of History Culture and Art Research*, vol. 4, no. 2, 23 Dec. 2015, pp. 80–87,
Housman, A.E. *The Name and Nature of Poetry*. Cambridge University Press, 1935.
Hühn, Peter, et al. *Facing Loss and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry*. Walter de Gruyter GmbH, 2016.
Jakobson, Roman. “Closing Statement: Linguistics and Poetics.” *Style in Language*, The MIT Press, 1966, pp. 350–377.
Plooy, Heilna Du. “Emily Dickinson: ‘Because I Could Not Stop for Death.’” *Facing Loss and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry*, 22 Aug. 2016, pp. 169–173,
Ross, David A. *Critical Companion to William Butler Yeats: A Literary Reference to His Life and Work*. Facts On File, 200
Human-style rewrite: | To engage with such poetry is to recognize that meaning is never merely “said”; it is made,
felt, and simmers recalcitrantly beneath the act of speaking, touching not just the boundaries
of meaning but the pulse of human existence itself. 5
Upload Essay No Prompt Uploaded:
Works Cited
Brooks, Cleanth. The Well Wrought Urn: Studies in the Structure of Poetry. Harcourt, Brace,
1957. Dash, Bipin. “Symbolism in W.B. Yeats Poetry: A Critical Study.” International Journal of
English and Studies, vol. 4, no. 3, Mar. 2022. Derrida, Jacques. Of Grammatology. Translated by Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, 4th ed.,
Johns Hopkins University Press, 2016. Dickinson, Emily, and Thomas H. Johnson. Selected Letters. Belknap Press of Harvard
University Press, 1971. Dickinson, Emily. The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson. Back Bay Books, 1976. Eliot, T. S. “The Music of Poetry.” On Poetry and Poets, Faber and Faber, London, 1957, pp. 26–38. Eliot, T. S. The Waste Land. Project Gutenberg, 1998. [E-book number 1321]
Güven, Samet. “A Modernist Approach to T.S Eliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”
Journal of History Culture and Art Research, vol. 4, no. 2, 23 Dec. 2015, pp. 80–87,
Housman, A.E. The Name and Nature of Poetry. Cambridge University Press, 1935. Hühn, Peter, et al. Facing Loss and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry. Walter de Gruyter GmbH, 2016. Jakobson, Roman. “Closing Statement: Linguistics and Poetics.” Style in Language, The MIT
Press, 1966, pp. 350–377. Plooy, Heilna Du. “Emily Dickinson: ‘Because I Could Not Stop for Death.’” Facing Loss
and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry, 22 Aug. 2016, pp. 169–173,
Ross, David A. Critical Companion to William Butler Yeats: A Literary Reference to His Life
and Work. Facts On File, 2009. Wittgenstein, Ludwig. Philosophical Investigations. Translated by Gertrude Elizabeth
Margaret Anscombe, Basil Blackwell, 1953. Yeats, W. B. | Engagement with such poetic constructs reveals that meaning transcends mere explicit articulation; rather, it is actively forged, viscerally experienced, and persistently underlies the act of verbalization, thereby interfacing not solely with semantic boundaries but also with the quintessential essence of human existence.
**Works Cited**
Brooks, Cleanth. *The Well Wrought Urn: Studies in the Structure of Poetry*. Harcourt, Brace, 1957.
Dash, Bipin. “Symbolism in W.B. Yeats Poetry: A Critical Study.” *International Journal of English and Studies*, vol. 4, no. 3, Mar. 2022.
Derrida, Jacques. *Of Grammatology*. Translated by Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak, 4th ed., Johns Hopkins University Press, 2016.
Dickinson, Emily, and Thomas H. Johnson. *Selected Letters*. Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 1971.
Dickinson, Emily. *The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson*. Back Bay Books, 1976.
Eliot, T. S. “The Music of Poetry.” *On Poetry and Poets*, Faber and Faber, London, 1957, pp. 26–38.
Eliot, T. S. *The Waste Land*. Project Gutenberg, 1998. \[E-book number 1321]
Güven, Samet. “A Modernist Approach to T.S Eliot’s The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” *Journal of History Culture and Art Research*, vol. 4, no. 2, 23 Dec. 2015, pp. 80–87,
Housman, A.E. *The Name and Nature of Poetry*. Cambridge University Press, 1935.
Hühn, Peter, et al. *Facing Loss and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry*. Walter de Gruyter GmbH, 2016.
Jakobson, Roman. “Closing Statement: Linguistics and Poetics.” *Style in Language*, The MIT Press, 1966, pp. 350–377.
Plooy, Heilna Du. “Emily Dickinson: ‘Because I Could Not Stop for Death.’” *Facing Loss and Death: Narrative and Eventfulness in Lyric Poetry*, 22 Aug. 2016, pp. 169–173,
Ross, David A. *Critical Companion to William Butler Yeats: A Literary Reference to His Life and Work*. Facts On File, 200 | {
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You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
My academic trajectory has been profoundly influenced by a convergence of deeply held passions, evolving from initial exposure to a sophisticated understanding of their inherent potential. Initially, my engagement with piano instruction was largely perfunctory, driven by parental directive rather than intrinsic motivation. This dynamic shifted significantly during my elementary years upon my inclusion in a harmonica ensemble. The profound sense of expressive fulfillment and collective pride derived from these performances transcended prior experiences, firmly establishing music as a profound source of personal gratification. This foundational experience subsequently expanded my perception of music's multifaceted applications, encompassing its role in fostering cultural exchange, exemplified by my engagement with the Hulusi, and its therapeutic capabilities.
However, the most compelling aspect of music, for me, lies in its capacity for creative and personal articulation through composition. Whether translating the adrenaline of equestrian athleticism into a musical score or crafting pieces inspired by my imaginative sketches, the art of music composition has become an increasingly potent force, a creative freedom I am eager to further cultivate within a collegiate environment.
Concurrently, mathematics holds an equally significant intellectual appeal. In our technologically advanced era, mathematical computations and models serve as fundamental instruments for comprehending a vast array of phenomena. The transformative power of data in shaping our world perception is undeniable. My participation in the HiMCM contest and the successful completion of a big data analytics project focused on equestrian game prediction have unequivocally demonstrated the pervasive influence of mathematics and data across diverse communal contexts. Furthermore, a research endeavor exploring music therapy for horses illuminated the synergistic application of music and statistics within an area of significant personal interest. This interdisciplinary approach, where seemingly disparate fields intersect and mutually enrich one another, is precisely what renders Carnegie Mellon University's renowned programs exceptionally appealing to my academic aspirations.
Human-style rewrite: | 2024/11/30 22:03 My Colleges | Common App
Carnegie Mellon University writing
supplement
Carnegie Mellon University Writing
Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or
inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose
this area of study? (300 word maximum)
For quite some time after my mom signed me up for piano lessons as a kid, I robotically
practiced exam pieces, driven more by obligation than passion. That changed in
elementary school when I was selected for the harmonica ensemble. The sense of
expression and pride our harmonica performances brought was superior to any feeling
I’ve felt, and music became a source of joy and fulfillment. Over time, I've come to see
the range of possibilities it holds, from cultural interactions while playing the Hulusi to
experiencing music's healing power. However, what captivated me the most was the ability to channel creativity and
personality through music composition. From describing the sense of adrenaline I feel as
an equestrian athlete through a score to composing a piece inspired by a scene from my
whimsical doodles, my love for music composition became stronger, and I wish to
continue exploring this creative freedom in college. Furthermore, there is another field I enjoy just as equally as music—mathematics. In this
technology-driven era, calculations and models grant us an understanding of almost
everything. Data can be incredibly impactful to our perception of the world. Through
participating in the HiMCM contest and completing a big data analytics project on
equestrian game prediction, I’ve further noticed the extent to which math and data can
impact a community in countless facades. In a research project on music therapy for
horses, I realized how music and statistics can be applied to one another in area I’m
passionate about. What excited me most at CMU is the renowned interdisciplinary program. | My academic trajectory has been profoundly influenced by a convergence of deeply held passions, evolving from initial exposure to a sophisticated understanding of their inherent potential. Initially, my engagement with piano instruction was largely perfunctory, driven by parental directive rather than intrinsic motivation. This dynamic shifted significantly during my elementary years upon my inclusion in a harmonica ensemble. The profound sense of expressive fulfillment and collective pride derived from these performances transcended prior experiences, firmly establishing music as a profound source of personal gratification. This foundational experience subsequently expanded my perception of music's multifaceted applications, encompassing its role in fostering cultural exchange, exemplified by my engagement with the Hulusi, and its therapeutic capabilities.
However, the most compelling aspect of music, for me, lies in its capacity for creative and personal articulation through composition. Whether translating the adrenaline of equestrian athleticism into a musical score or crafting pieces inspired by my imaginative sketches, the art of music composition has become an increasingly potent force, a creative freedom I am eager to further cultivate within a collegiate environment.
Concurrently, mathematics holds an equally significant intellectual appeal. In our technologically advanced era, mathematical computations and models serve as fundamental instruments for comprehending a vast array of phenomena. The transformative power of data in shaping our world perception is undeniable. My participation in the HiMCM contest and the successful completion of a big data analytics project focused on equestrian game prediction have unequivocally demonstrated the pervasive influence of mathematics and data across diverse communal contexts. Furthermore, a research endeavor exploring music therapy for horses illuminated the synergistic application of music and statistics within an area of significant personal interest. This interdisciplinary approach, where seemingly disparate fields intersect and mutually enrich one another, is precisely what renders Carnegie Mellon University's renowned programs exceptionally appealing to my academic aspirations. | {
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You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
A fundamental societal recalibration of perceptions regarding impairments is anticipated, encompassing both micro-level interactions, such as involuntary facial expressions and sympathetic gazes, and macro-level considerations, including the implementation of appropriate accommodations. Presently, my existence is characterized by a harmonious oscillation between a pursuit of profound meaning and a cherished domestic environment. While my involuntary movements persist, so too does my unwavering dedication. When recent inductees to our roller skating club observe my atypical facial spasms and offer commentary, my response is delivered with casual equanimity: “This is merely a manifestation of my Tourette syndrome; it is of no significant consequence.”
Regarding community disruption, the pandemic era brought with it the profound loss of a beloved family member – my grandfather. Due to the stringent epidemic prevention protocols in place within China, I was denied access to the hospital premises, thereby precluding the opportunity for a final farewell. This represented my inaugural proximal encounter with mortality. The processing of such profound sorrow and grief proved challenging, with my only recourse being a silent internal protest – a quiet rage, a muted dissent. A protracted period of convalescence was necessitated following my grandfather's passing. Prior to this profound upheaval, my frustration was primarily directed at the inconveniences imposed by the excessively rigorous "zero-COVID" policy. My scheduled on-site TOEFL examination was canceled on eleven consecutive occasions, compelling me to undertake travel to alternative cities to complete the assessment. On April 30th, notification was received regarding the cancellation of my AP examinations, rendering the intensive preparation dedicated to six distinct subjects ultimately unreflected on my academic transcript. In July, my ACT examination in Macau was similarly canceled, prompting a strategic pivot to the SAT with the hopeful anticipation of a cessation of lockdown measures by late August – a fortunate outcome, for which I express gratitude. The profound experience of my grandfather's passing served to reorient my perspective, liberating me from an excessive preoccupation with academic scores and test outcomes. In comparison to the immutable reality of death, the obstacles and difficulties encountered during the COVID-19 pandemic assumed a diminished significance.
Human-style rewrite: | And most importantly, our whole society will readjust our perceptions on
impairments, from the micro-level, like grimaces and sympathetic look, to the macro-level, like
proper accommodations. Now, I skate between a place where I find meaning and a home I love daily. My twitches persist, so
do my efforts. When the newest members of our roller skating club notice my unusual facial
spasms and make a comment, I reply breezily: “Oh, it’s just my Tourette syndrome. No biggie.”
Community disruption
During the pandemic, I faced the loss of a loved family member - my grandfather. Due to the strict
epidemic prevention policy in China, I was not permitted to enter the hospital. Thus, I lost the
chance to say farewell to him for the last time. This was the first time for me to confront death so closely. I did not know how to deal with my
sorrow and grievance, and the only thing I could do was to remain silent - rage silently, protest
silently. For a long time, I couldn't recover from the departure of my grandfather. Before this thunderbolt, I was infuriated at the inconveniences brought to me by the unreasonably
harsh “zero-covid” policy. My onsite TOEFL test got canceled for 11 consecutive times, and I was
forced to travel to other cities to take the test. On April 30, I received a notification that my AP test
got canceled, so all six subjects I had devoted many efforts to studying wouldn’t appear on my
transcript. In July, my ACT exam at Macau got canceled, so I had to switch to SAT in the hope that
the lockdown could have ended in late August (thank whichever God it did end). Grandpa’s departure uplifted me from my obsession with scores and test results. Compared with
death, the obstacle and difficulty I was suffering in COVID didn’t matter. | A fundamental societal recalibration of perceptions regarding impairments is anticipated, encompassing both micro-level interactions, such as involuntary facial expressions and sympathetic gazes, and macro-level considerations, including the implementation of appropriate accommodations. Presently, my existence is characterized by a harmonious oscillation between a pursuit of profound meaning and a cherished domestic environment. While my involuntary movements persist, so too does my unwavering dedication. When recent inductees to our roller skating club observe my atypical facial spasms and offer commentary, my response is delivered with casual equanimity: “This is merely a manifestation of my Tourette syndrome; it is of no significant consequence.”
Regarding community disruption, the pandemic era brought with it the profound loss of a beloved family member – my grandfather. Due to the stringent epidemic prevention protocols in place within China, I was denied access to the hospital premises, thereby precluding the opportunity for a final farewell. This represented my inaugural proximal encounter with mortality. The processing of such profound sorrow and grief proved challenging, with my only recourse being a silent internal protest – a quiet rage, a muted dissent. A protracted period of convalescence was necessitated following my grandfather's passing. Prior to this profound upheaval, my frustration was primarily directed at the inconveniences imposed by the excessively rigorous "zero-COVID" policy. My scheduled on-site TOEFL examination was canceled on eleven consecutive occasions, compelling me to undertake travel to alternative cities to complete the assessment. On April 30th, notification was received regarding the cancellation of my AP examinations, rendering the intensive preparation dedicated to six distinct subjects ultimately unreflected on my academic transcript. In July, my ACT examination in Macau was similarly canceled, prompting a strategic pivot to the SAT with the hopeful anticipation of a cessation of lockdown measures by late August – a fortunate outcome, for which I express gratitude. The profound experience of my grandfather's passing served to reorient my perspective, liberating me from an excessive preoccupation with academic scores and test outcomes. In comparison to the immutable reality of death, the obstacles and difficulties encountered during the COVID-19 pandemic assumed a diminished significance. | {
"uid": "2022_2258_ps_c2_1775",
"essay_id": "2022_2258_ps_c2",
"type": "ps",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9999622065834148,
"input_words": 347,
"chosen_words": 309
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
The experiential learning paradigm at the University of Pennsylvania offers a myriad of avenues for students to effect tangible real-world change. As an impassioned advocate for healthy interpersonal dynamics, I envision augmenting my mission within Active Minds by furnishing essential resources pertaining to mental health and holistic well-being, thereby cultivating an inclusive and non-judgmental sanctuary for open discourse. Concurrently, as an aspiring media practitioner, I intend to contribute to the 34th Street magazine, leveraging its platform to disseminate poignant narratives and showcase the multifaceted talents residing within our community. Furthermore, my aspirations as a cultural entrepreneur will be realized through engagement with the Penn Social Entrepreneurship Movement (PennSEM)'s SPIRE projects, fostering connections with kindred spirits and facilitating the launch of an interactive media-centric initiative designed to amplify human happiness and overall well-being. Within Penn's exceptionally diverse ecosystem, I am particularly eager to collaborate with the forthcoming generation of leading environmentalists, financiers, engineers, and artists, collectively striving to ameliorate our planet and enhance the prosperity of future generations. Indeed, to these nascent innovators, I impart a reminder: as you endeavor to transform the world, prioritize your own felicity.
The advent of social media has fundamentally redefined relational paradigms within Gen Z, manifesting in phenomena such as friends tagging individuals in over 100 TikTok videos, romantic partners consistently featuring others in their posts, and family members often being intentionally excluded from online visibility. My profound interest in the evolving expressions and intricate relationships prevalent in today's dynamically digital society compels me to pursue advanced studies in communication, navigating toward the convergence of innovative creativity and profound social responsibility. As a communication major at Penn, I anticipate enrolling in a diverse array of courses pertinent to my interdisciplinary inclinations. Specifically, the seminar "Happy, Sappy, Creepy: Social Media and Feeling" promises to illuminate the reciprocal influence between social media and human emotions. Additionally, I plan to undertake "How We Change: Social-Psychological and Communication Dynamics" with Professor Dolores Albarracín, an endeavor designed to investigate the contextual factors driving shifts in inherent behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes, thereby empowering me to instigate constructive societal modifications. Under the mentorship of Penn's distinguished faculty, I aspire to conduct independent research exploring the profound impact of digital environments on young individuals' perspectives and their perceptions of social interaction.
Human-style rewrite: | With its focus on experiential learning, Penn provides various opportunities for students to make a
real-world impact. As an advocate for healthy relationships, I can further my mission at Active
Minds, providing resources on mental health and well-being and building a non-judgmental
environment for people to open up. As a media practitioner, I'll engage in the 34th Street magazine
to share more heartfelt stories and diverse talents in our community. As a cultural entrepreneur, I'll
be able to connect with like-minded individuals through the Penn Social Entrepreneurship
Movement(PennSEM) 's SPIRE projects and launch an interactive media-based project to promote
people's happiness and well-being. In Penn's diverse community, I'm excited to work with the future's leading environmentalists,
bankers, engineers, and artists as we strive to improve our planet and the well-being of future
generations. Dear Geniuses: while changing the world, don't forget to be happy. School Question
Friends are who mention you for 100+ TikTok videos; Boy/girlfriends are who post about you
every chance they get; Families are those who are blocked: Gen Z has transformed the definition
of relationships with social media. social media shapes and is shaped by human emotions. I also plan to take “How We Change:
Social-Psychological and Communication Dynamics” with Professor Dolores Albarracín to
investigate the contexts in which people's inherent behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes change, thus
helping me make positive social changes. Mentored by outstanding faculty at Penn, I hope to
further conduct independent studies on how digital realms influence young people’s perspectives
and perceptions of social interaction. | The experiential learning paradigm at the University of Pennsylvania offers a myriad of avenues for students to effect tangible real-world change. As an impassioned advocate for healthy interpersonal dynamics, I envision augmenting my mission within Active Minds by furnishing essential resources pertaining to mental health and holistic well-being, thereby cultivating an inclusive and non-judgmental sanctuary for open discourse. Concurrently, as an aspiring media practitioner, I intend to contribute to the 34th Street magazine, leveraging its platform to disseminate poignant narratives and showcase the multifaceted talents residing within our community. Furthermore, my aspirations as a cultural entrepreneur will be realized through engagement with the Penn Social Entrepreneurship Movement (PennSEM)'s SPIRE projects, fostering connections with kindred spirits and facilitating the launch of an interactive media-centric initiative designed to amplify human happiness and overall well-being. Within Penn's exceptionally diverse ecosystem, I am particularly eager to collaborate with the forthcoming generation of leading environmentalists, financiers, engineers, and artists, collectively striving to ameliorate our planet and enhance the prosperity of future generations. Indeed, to these nascent innovators, I impart a reminder: as you endeavor to transform the world, prioritize your own felicity.
The advent of social media has fundamentally redefined relational paradigms within Gen Z, manifesting in phenomena such as friends tagging individuals in over 100 TikTok videos, romantic partners consistently featuring others in their posts, and family members often being intentionally excluded from online visibility. My profound interest in the evolving expressions and intricate relationships prevalent in today's dynamically digital society compels me to pursue advanced studies in communication, navigating toward the convergence of innovative creativity and profound social responsibility. As a communication major at Penn, I anticipate enrolling in a diverse array of courses pertinent to my interdisciplinary inclinations. Specifically, the seminar "Happy, Sappy, Creepy: Social Media and Feeling" promises to illuminate the reciprocal influence between social media and human emotions. Additionally, I plan to undertake "How We Change: Social-Psychological and Communication Dynamics" with Professor Dolores Albarracín, an endeavor designed to investigate the contextual factors driving shifts in inherent behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes, thereby empowering me to instigate constructive societal modifications. Under the mentorship of Penn's distinguished faculty, I aspire to conduct independent research exploring the profound impact of digital environments on young individuals' perspectives and their perceptions of social interaction. | {
"uid": "2022_774_supp_c1_741",
"essay_id": "2022_774_supp_c1",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9979613911826597,
"input_words": 378,
"chosen_words": 253
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Applicant Haoxi Kan (, ) is seeking admission to the University of Florida The applicant does not require financial aid and intends to reside on campus.
The intended academic major is Statistics, specifically pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in Statistics.
In terms of family information, the applicant indicates no siblings have applied to this institution, nor have any relatives previously attended. No specific familial circumstances beyond those explicitly listed are applicable. The reported family gross income range is $120,000-$149,000. The applicant does not reside in a single-parent, single-income household. It is affirmed that at least one parent or legal guardian has attained a bachelor's degree. The applicant has not served, nor is currently serving, in the U.S. military, nor are they a spouse or child of an individual who has served or is serving in the U.S. military.
The applicant is not Pertaining to community service, There are no employment or family obligations that limit participation in extracurricular activities, and the participation indicator is "No."
The applicant's most meaningful activity narrative commences with a vivid recollection of a friend named Xiaobai experiencing bullying, characterized by physical assault, defacement of personal property, verbal taunts, and mimicry by classmates.
Human-style rewrite: | Details
details
University of Florida questions
General
Preferred start term Admission plan Early Action
Housing Option On campus
From the list below, Four-year traditional high school graduate
please select the option
that best described your
high school graduation
type:
While in high school
have your participated
in a dual enrollment
program? No IE
Academic Major Statistics
Major Option Statistics (Bachelor of Arts)
Family
Sibling applied No
Relatives attended No
member
Do any of the following None of the above apply
apply to your current
situation:
What is your family's $120,000-$149,000
gross income range? Do you live in a single No
parent, single-income
household? Have either of your Yes
parents or legal
guardian earned a
bachelor's degree? Have you ever served or No
are you currently
serving in the US
Military? Are you the spouse or No
child of person who
served or is currently
serving in the U.S. military? Honors
Are you applying to the Honors
Program? Innovation Academy
Would you like for your
application to be
considered for the
Innovation Academy? No
Community Service
Activities I confirm that I have filled out the activities to my satisfaction
acknowledgement
Do you have any No
employment or family
obligations that limit
your participation in
extracurricular
activities
Participation Indicator No
Most Meaningful Activity
I still have vivid memories of how my friend Xiaobai was bullied: several boys knocked him over
and stepped on his fingers. Graffiti appeared in his textbooks; nicknames like “bookworm” and
“sissy” followed him; classmates mimicked his tone when he answered questions. | Applicant Haoxi Kan (, ) is seeking admission to the University of Florida The applicant does not require financial aid and intends to reside on campus.
The intended academic major is Statistics, specifically pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in Statistics.
In terms of family information, the applicant indicates no siblings have applied to this institution, nor have any relatives previously attended. No specific familial circumstances beyond those explicitly listed are applicable. The reported family gross income range is $120,000-$149,000. The applicant does not reside in a single-parent, single-income household. It is affirmed that at least one parent or legal guardian has attained a bachelor's degree. The applicant has not served, nor is currently serving, in the U.S. military, nor are they a spouse or child of an individual who has served or is serving in the U.S. military.
The applicant is not Pertaining to community service, There are no employment or family obligations that limit participation in extracurricular activities, and the participation indicator is "No."
The applicant's most meaningful activity narrative commences with a vivid recollection of a friend named Xiaobai experiencing bullying, characterized by physical assault, defacement of personal property, verbal taunts, and mimicry by classmates. | {
"uid": "2025_4172_supp_c6_7662",
"essay_id": "2025_4172_supp_c6",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T50",
"year": 2025,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9559605719029157,
"input_words": 198,
"chosen_words": 253
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Leveraging prior experiences garnered in China, the preceding year involved a facilitative excursion to Vietnam. During this engagement, collaborative efforts were directed towards the co-organization of workshops designed to cultivate a national team and, critically, to foster a more inclusive debating environment for local youth. Observing the unreserved articulation of ideas by these participants affirmed the intrinsic value of this endeavor, underscoring the objective of constructing connective pathways through verbal discourse. At Cornell, the aspiration is to perpetuate and expand these pursuits, thereby contributing to an educational milieu where every voice is afforded recognition and every perspective is duly appreciated.
The discipline of political science has consistently presented itself as an intellectually stimulating domain. Given the circumscribed curricular offerings within this field, a proactive approach was adopted through enrollment in Coursera courses. Engagement with an extensive array of introductory and advanced modules has facilitated the acquisition of foundational knowledge pertaining to the core concerns and methodological frameworks of political science scholarship. Notably, "Moral Foundations of Politics" with Professor Ian Shapiro from Yale University proved to be a particularly impactful pedagogical experience. This course provided a comprehensive survey of seminal Enlightenment-era political theories, elucidating their origins, inherent contentions, and practical ramifications. Crucially, it stimulated a critical re-evaluation of the intricate relationship between Enlightenment political thought, the foundational ideology of modernity, and the capitalistic systems that have shaped the contemporary global landscape. This intellectual trajectory prompted a consideration of how numerous contemporary challenges, such as climate change and economic downturns, might find resolution not solely through technological innovation but through a fundamental restructuring of international political architectures. Further research within this context also encompassed an analysis of the decline of globalization and the resurgence of the de-growth movement. Concurrently, active participation is maintained within the Politics Out of History book club, where the role of seminar leader is regularly undertaken. The primary text of focus, as indicated by the club's designation, is Wendy Brown's *Politics Out of History*. Discussions within this forum primarily centered on the political philosophies espoused by influential thinkers such as Freud and Marx, among others.
Human-style rewrite: | Last year, leveraging my experience in China, I went on a trip to Vietnam, where I co-organized
workshops to build their national team and, more importantly, a debating environment that would
be more accessible to local children. Watching them express ideas without reservations, I was
glad I’d embarked on this path, building bridges through words from any person. At Cornell, I hope
to expand such pursuits and contribute to its learning environment, where every voice finds its
place and every perspective is valued. Arts and Sciences Response
Political science has always been an intriguing topic for me. Since the school curriculum has
limited offerings in this discipline, I started to sign up for courses on Coursera. Exploring an
extensive list of introductory and advanced courses, I've gained basic knowledge of the concerns
and methodology of political science studies. “Moral Foundation of Politics” with Professor Ian
Shapiro from Yale University was the most memorable experience. In this course, I surveyed major
political theories of the Enlightenment period, understanding their genesis, contentions, and
practical implications. More importantly, this course encouraged me to rethink the relationship
between Enlightenment political thought, the underlying ideology of modernity, and capitalistic
systems that have shaped our current world. This prompted me to reflect on how a possible
solution for many contemporary problems like climate change and economic decline could be
resolved not through technological advancements but through the revamp of international political
structures. My work also considered the decline of globalization and the return of the de-growth
movement. I am also an active member of the Politics Out of History book club where I regularly lead
seminars. Our primary book of Wendy Brown. Our discussions focused on the political philosophy of Freud, Marx, and other great
thinkers. | Leveraging prior experiences garnered in China, the preceding year involved a facilitative excursion to Vietnam. During this engagement, collaborative efforts were directed towards the co-organization of workshops designed to cultivate a national team and, critically, to foster a more inclusive debating environment for local youth. Observing the unreserved articulation of ideas by these participants affirmed the intrinsic value of this endeavor, underscoring the objective of constructing connective pathways through verbal discourse. At Cornell, the aspiration is to perpetuate and expand these pursuits, thereby contributing to an educational milieu where every voice is afforded recognition and every perspective is duly appreciated.
The discipline of political science has consistently presented itself as an intellectually stimulating domain. Given the circumscribed curricular offerings within this field, a proactive approach was adopted through enrollment in Coursera courses. Engagement with an extensive array of introductory and advanced modules has facilitated the acquisition of foundational knowledge pertaining to the core concerns and methodological frameworks of political science scholarship. Notably, "Moral Foundations of Politics" with Professor Ian Shapiro from Yale University proved to be a particularly impactful pedagogical experience. This course provided a comprehensive survey of seminal Enlightenment-era political theories, elucidating their origins, inherent contentions, and practical ramifications. Crucially, it stimulated a critical re-evaluation of the intricate relationship between Enlightenment political thought, the foundational ideology of modernity, and the capitalistic systems that have shaped the contemporary global landscape. This intellectual trajectory prompted a consideration of how numerous contemporary challenges, such as climate change and economic downturns, might find resolution not solely through technological innovation but through a fundamental restructuring of international political architectures. Further research within this context also encompassed an analysis of the decline of globalization and the resurgence of the de-growth movement. Concurrently, active participation is maintained within the Politics Out of History book club, where the role of seminar leader is regularly undertaken. The primary text of focus, as indicated by the club's designation, is Wendy Brown's *Politics Out of History*. Discussions within this forum primarily centered on the political philosophies espoused by influential thinkers such as Freud and Marx, among others. | {
"uid": "2023_2903_supp_c1_2428",
"essay_id": "2023_2903_supp_c1",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9802704303809393,
"input_words": 347,
"chosen_words": 290
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
My foundational conviction posits that the genesis of profound connection resides within the natural world, and it is precisely within this domain that I endeavor to re-establish inter-human intimacy. Recollections shared by my host mother regarding her collegiate tenure at Cornell University frequently punctuate our dinner conversations. The discernible luminescence in her gaze and the unreserved pride evinced during these narratives invariably ignite within me a profound desire to cultivate a comparable experiential journey. Given my predisposition towards leveraging nature as a conduit for re-establishing human rapport, the unparalleled scenic grandeur of Ithaca further amplifies my aspiration to matriculate as a student at this esteemed institution. Upon admittance, I anticipate with considerable enthusiasm the opportunity to explore the Cornell Botanic Gardens, seeking inspiration within its serene confines.
Specifically, the Landscape Architecture program at Cornell presents itself as an optimal academic pathway. My engagement in a 2018 architectural summer program served to crystallize my motivation and passion for studio-based creative endeavors, fostering a deep yearning to immerse myself within the intellectually stimulating environment characteristic of this program. Through advanced coursework such as "Grounding in Landscape Architecture" and the "Capstone Community Design Studio," I aim to cultivate a robust comprehension of landscape architecture principles, thereby enriching my theoretical knowledge through practical, hands-on applications. My objective is to transcend the confines of the studio and campus through the design of each real-world project, extending my vision to positively impact local communities.
Furthermore, the formal concentration in Landscape Architecture at Cornell offers a unique opportunity to prepare for a career as a landscape architect without necessitating a compromise of my intrinsic interest in anthropology. The study of human societies, cultures, and their evolutionary trajectories will undoubtedly augment my understanding of societal needs and the intricate, enduring relationship between humanity and the environment. This integrated approach will enable me to craft designs that intrinsically interweave natural elements with human considerations, ultimately striving to revitalize and foster inter-human intimacy.
Human-style rewrite: | In my opinion, nature is where this
power originated, and it is where I want to start to reconstruct this intimacy. At the dinner table with my host family in the US, I often hear my host mother talk about her college life at Cornell. The gleam in her eyes
and the undisguised pride she reveals while recounting her memories made me yearn for a similar experience. Given my as a source for reconstructing inter-human intimacy, Ithaca’s breathtaking scenery further deepens my aspiration to be a student there. On
campus, I cannot wait to explore the Botanic Garden, and to be inspired by its tranquility. In particular, I believe the Landscape Architecture program would be the ideal place for me. Through my experience in an architecture
summer program in 2018, I have found my motivation and passion in the studio, and I long to immerse myself in the inspirational
atmosphere that this program offers its students. Through courses like Grounding in Landscape Architecture and Capstone Community
Design Studio, I hope to build my understanding of landscape architecture and enrich my theoretical knowledge with hand-on
experiences. By designing each real world studio project, I would like to expand my vision beyond the studio and the campus to the local
communities. Additionally, through the formal concentration in Landscape Architecture at Cornell, I can also prepare myself to be a landscape architect
without compromising my further my understanding of people’s needs, and the long-term relationship between people and environment. In this way, my designs
would relate closely to both nature and people, in the hopes of reviving inter-human intimacy. | My foundational conviction posits that the genesis of profound connection resides within the natural world, and it is precisely within this domain that I endeavor to re-establish inter-human intimacy. Recollections shared by my host mother regarding her collegiate tenure at Cornell University frequently punctuate our dinner conversations. The discernible luminescence in her gaze and the unreserved pride evinced during these narratives invariably ignite within me a profound desire to cultivate a comparable experiential journey. Given my predisposition towards leveraging nature as a conduit for re-establishing human rapport, the unparalleled scenic grandeur of Ithaca further amplifies my aspiration to matriculate as a student at this esteemed institution. Upon admittance, I anticipate with considerable enthusiasm the opportunity to explore the Cornell Botanic Gardens, seeking inspiration within its serene confines.
Specifically, the Landscape Architecture program at Cornell presents itself as an optimal academic pathway. My engagement in a 2018 architectural summer program served to crystallize my motivation and passion for studio-based creative endeavors, fostering a deep yearning to immerse myself within the intellectually stimulating environment characteristic of this program. Through advanced coursework such as "Grounding in Landscape Architecture" and the "Capstone Community Design Studio," I aim to cultivate a robust comprehension of landscape architecture principles, thereby enriching my theoretical knowledge through practical, hands-on applications. My objective is to transcend the confines of the studio and campus through the design of each real-world project, extending my vision to positively impact local communities.
Furthermore, the formal concentration in Landscape Architecture at Cornell offers a unique opportunity to prepare for a career as a landscape architect without necessitating a compromise of my intrinsic interest in anthropology. The study of human societies, cultures, and their evolutionary trajectories will undoubtedly augment my understanding of societal needs and the intricate, enduring relationship between humanity and the environment. This integrated approach will enable me to craft designs that intrinsically interweave natural elements with human considerations, ultimately striving to revitalize and foster inter-human intimacy. | {
"uid": "2018_1465_supp_c1_139",
"essay_id": "2018_1465_supp_c1",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2018,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9999598631191037,
"input_words": 323,
"chosen_words": 266
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
The initial trepidation regarding potential failure and the rationale behind my participation in the information session were swiftly overshadowed by the fortuitous intervention of my peers, who proactively facilitated my stage presence and registration. Their discernment regarding my adeptness in articulating economic concepts was notably accurate. The commencement of the US-China trade war in 2018 elicited a spectrum of reactions among my contemporaries, ranging from unsubstantiated critiques of the dollar system and overt animosity towards Western geopolitical influence to profound disillusionment concerning governmental concessions. I perceived these nationalistic discourses as counterproductive and unduly stressful, positing that a systematic and rational perspective on global interconnectedness was imperative.
Consequently, I embarked upon a rigorous intellectual inquiry. The foundational principle of Comparative Advantage, which advocates for international trade to augment collective welfare, frequently encounters institutional inertia in addressing resultant challenges such as patent infringement and labor displacement. While retaliatory tariffs may offer transient mitigation of economic losses, they invariably diminish the competitiveness of domestic enterprises and fail to provide enduring resolutions to systemic inequalities. As I formulated and articulated my analysis to the class, my prior feelings of insecurity and self-doubt dissipated entirely. The inherent complexity of the global landscape appeared to yield to the clarity provided by a logically structured causal framework. Acknowledging the inherent unpredictability of unknown variables, it becomes incumbent upon us to proceed based on verifiable knowledge. This principle resonates deeply with my engagement in economic studies, mirroring the endeavors of economists and policymakers striving to establish equitable frameworks within an interconnected world. The cultivation of confidence in our analytical reasoning, evaluative judgment, and ultimately, in ourselves, serves to eliminate extraneous distractions and impels decisive action. Upon returning to the shooting line, my perspective had undergone a profound transformation.
Human-style rewrite: | What if I didn't end up winning? Why did I even sign up for this
info session in the first place? I was at least lucky to have friends who pulled me onto the stage
and put my name down on the sheet. My friends were more aware of my confidence in speaking whenever an Economics topic is
brought up. Various reactions were elicited among my peers when the US-China trade war started
in 2018—the unfounded accusations of the dollar system, the explicit hatred towards the Western
superpower, and the dismay over the compromise of the Chinese government. I found these
nationalistic arguments only stressful and ineffective, and what we truly need is a systematic,
rational view of the globalized world. PR
I began searching my answer. The Theory of Comparative Advantage encourages countries to
trade for greater collective welfare, but institutions always lag behind in addressing the associated
challenges such as patent protection and job displacement; retaliatory tariffs might make up the
loss in the short run but only reduce the competitiveness of local businesses and offer no
solutions to the long-term inequalities... As I formed my own analysis and presented it to the class,
my insecurities and self-doubt all disappeared. The logically driven causality framework seemed to
offer me a sense of certainty in the face of the world's innate complexity. No one can predict what
we don't know, so we must proceed with what we do know. It's the same for me when studying
Economics, as it is for economists and policymakers working to establish fair orders for the
interconnected world. The trust we place in our reasoning, our judgment, and eventually ourselves
will clear out the distractions and prompt us to make that move—or make that shot. I returned to the shooting line, but my mindset shifted. | The initial trepidation regarding potential failure and the rationale behind my participation in the information session were swiftly overshadowed by the fortuitous intervention of my peers, who proactively facilitated my stage presence and registration. Their discernment regarding my adeptness in articulating economic concepts was notably accurate. The commencement of the US-China trade war in 2018 elicited a spectrum of reactions among my contemporaries, ranging from unsubstantiated critiques of the dollar system and overt animosity towards Western geopolitical influence to profound disillusionment concerning governmental concessions. I perceived these nationalistic discourses as counterproductive and unduly stressful, positing that a systematic and rational perspective on global interconnectedness was imperative.
Consequently, I embarked upon a rigorous intellectual inquiry. The foundational principle of Comparative Advantage, which advocates for international trade to augment collective welfare, frequently encounters institutional inertia in addressing resultant challenges such as patent infringement and labor displacement. While retaliatory tariffs may offer transient mitigation of economic losses, they invariably diminish the competitiveness of domestic enterprises and fail to provide enduring resolutions to systemic inequalities. As I formulated and articulated my analysis to the class, my prior feelings of insecurity and self-doubt dissipated entirely. The inherent complexity of the global landscape appeared to yield to the clarity provided by a logically structured causal framework. Acknowledging the inherent unpredictability of unknown variables, it becomes incumbent upon us to proceed based on verifiable knowledge. This principle resonates deeply with my engagement in economic studies, mirroring the endeavors of economists and policymakers striving to establish equitable frameworks within an interconnected world. The cultivation of confidence in our analytical reasoning, evaluative judgment, and ultimately, in ourselves, serves to eliminate extraneous distractions and impels decisive action. Upon returning to the shooting line, my perspective had undergone a profound transformation. | {
"uid": "2023_3427_supp_c5_3192",
"essay_id": "2023_3427_supp_c5",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T50",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9872443020233287,
"input_words": 290,
"chosen_words": 301
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
For the academic term, the intended U.S. visa classification is F-1 Student. No Common App fee waiver has been requested.
Parent 1, Yumei Zhao, serves as an Accountant or Actuary, employed by SHANGHAI SUN BRILLIANT TRADING. Her educational background includes an Associate's degree obtained in 1990 from Northeastern University at Qinhuangdao. Parent 2, Congyuan Bai, is a self-employed business owner or proprietor. He earned a Bachelor's degree in 1997 from Dongbei University of Finance and Economics.
In terms of secondary education, Prior to this, The anticipated graduation date is May 2024, indicating a late progression.
The applicant has participated in summer programs at Stanford University (July 2022) and Northwestern University (June-July 2023). Academic performance metrics indicate an unranked position among 163 students. Current and most recent year courses include a comprehensive International Baccalaureate (IB) curriculum, encompassing Higher Level Biology, Philosophy, and Theater, alongside Standard Level English A: Language and Literature, Chinese A: Language and Literature, and Mathematics Analysis and Approaches. Additionally, Theory of Knowledge and the IB DP Extended Essay are undertaken.
Distinguished honors include a championship title at the 9th China National Speech & Debate Association Tournament for High School Original Oratory (10th grade), second place at the 2022 Empire Mock Trial (Eclipse) (11th grade), and fourth place at the 2021 Stanford Invitational for High School Original Oratory JV (10th grade). The applicant also secured a championship at the 2021 Chinese Figure Skating Interclub League (Synchronized Skating) (11th grade) and achieved a Top 12 ranking at the 2021 China Educational Theater Association Competition (Monologue) (11th grade).
Future professional aspirations are currently undecided, with an Standardized testing results include anticipated IB Subject Tests in Philosophy-HL, Theatre-HL, Biology-HL, English A: Language and Literature-SL, Chinese A: Language and Literature-SL, and Mathematics Analysis and Approaches-SL, all scheduled for May 2024. The TOEFL iBT, taken on October 14, 2023, yielded a total score of 112, with sectional scores of 27 in Reading, 29 in Speaking, 28 in Listening, and 28 in Writing.
Extracurricular engagements demonstrate a commitment to various domains. Within the LGBT community, the applicant served as President of Spectrum in grades 11 and 12, organizing annual Pride Week events and field trips. In community service, the applicant co-founded and presided over Youth Theater On the Spectrum (grades 10-12), a 55-member organization that collaborated with Alibaba and seven special schools in China to design drama therapy games, develop curricula with a drama therapy practitioner, and host charity sales. In social justice, the applicant was a core member of One Room in grades 11 and 12, hosting the annual Vagina Week and initiating specialized workshops on topics such as marriage, folktales, and media. These activities collectively represent approximately 3 hours per week for 24-35 weeks per year and are ongoing.
Human-style rewrite: | country
Birthplace Shanghai, China 0 years US
Other citizenships China
Current US Visa B-2 Tourist, K9331174 Issued:
Intended US Visa F-1 Student
Common App fee waiver
Fee waiver requested No
Family
Household
Parents Married
Home Both Parents
Parent 1
Mother
Name Yumei Zhao
Email, Phone shzym1974@163.com, +86.13311917351
Occupation Accountant or actuary, Employed, SHANGHAI SUN BRILLIANT
Education
TRADING
Graduated from trade school or community college
Associates (1990), Northeastern University at Qinhuangdao, 143
Taishan Road, Qinhuangdao Economic and Technological Development
Zone, Qinhuangdao, Hebei, China
Parent 2
Father
Name Congyuan Bai
Email, Phone bryanbai@me.com, +86.13621735858, Mobile
Occupation Business owner or proprietor, Self-Employed
Education Graduated from college/university
Bachelors (1997), Dongbei University of Finance and Economics, 217
Jianshan Street, Shahekou District, Dalian, Liaoning, China
Education
Current or most recent secondary school
United World College Changshu, No 88 Kunchenghuxi Road, Changshu, Jiangsu, CHN,
Boarding school Yes: Living at school
Other Shanghai United International School Gubei Secondary, No 248 Hong
(09/2016 - 06/2022)
Progression Did or will graduate late
Graduation Date 05/2024
Colleges & universities
School IE
Stanford University, Stanford, CA, USA, CEEB: 4704 Summer program
(07/2022 - 07/2022)
Northwestern University, 633 Clark Street, Evanston, IL, USA, CEEB:
1565 BS, Summer program (06/2023 - 07/2023)
Grades
Rank na / 163
Current or most recent year courses
First semester Second semester
BIOL - Biology Higher Level - (IB) BIOL - Biology Higher Level - (IB)
OTH/ELE - Philosophy Higher Level - (IB) OTH/ELE - Philosophy Higher Level - (IB)
ART - Theater Higher Level - (IB) ART - Theater Higher Level - (IB)
ENG - English A Language and Literature Standard ENG - English A Language and Literature Standard
Level - (IB) Level - (IB)
LANG - Chinese A Language and Literature Standard LANG - Chinese A Language and Literature Standard
Level - (IB) Level - (IB)
MATH - Mathematics Analysis and Approaches MATH - Mathematics Analysis and Approaches
Standard Level - (IB) Standard Level - (IB)
OTH/ELE - Theory of Knowledge - (IB) OTH/ELE - Theory of Knowledge - (IB)
OTH/ELE - IB DP Extended Essay - (IB) OTH/ELE - IB DP Extended Essay - (IB)
Honors
Champion, 9th China National 10
National Speech &
Debate Association
Tournament - High
School Original Oratory
2nd place, 2022 Empire International 11
Mock Trial (Eclipse)
4th place, 2021 International 10
Stanford Invitational -
High school Original
Oratory JV
Champion, 2021 National 11
Chinese Figure Skating
Interclub League
(Synchronized Skating)
Top12, 2021 China
Educational Theater
Association
Competition
(Monologue)
National
Future plans
Other, Social Entrepreneur and part-time Actress, Undecided
Testing
IB Subject Tests
Philosophy-HL-English 05/2024
Theatre-HL-English 05/2024
Biology-HL-English 05/2024
English A: Language 05/2024
and Literature-SL
Chinese A: Language 05/2024
and Literature-SL
Mathematics Analysis 05/2024
and Approaches-SL
TOEFL iBT
Reading
Speaking
Listening 28
Writing 28
Total 112
Taken 1
Planned 0
Activities
LGBT
11, 12 President, Spectrum
School Hosted annual Pride Week: cross-cultural discussions, color run, drag
3 hr/wk, 24 wk/yr race, Pride Party, coming out stories, movie screening; led field trips
10, 11, 12 Cofounder and President, Youth Theater On the Spectrum (55
Year members; collaborated w/ Alibaba & 7 special schools in China)
3 hr/wk, 35 wk/yr Designed 50+ drama therapy games for mentally handicapped children;
Continue consulted drama therapy practitioner and created syllabus; hosted
Social Justice
11, 12
charity sales
Core member, One Room
School Hosted the annual Vagina Week; initiated Special Topics workshop on
3 hr/wk, 24 wk/yr marriage, folktales, media etc. | For the academic term, the intended U.S. visa classification is F-1 Student. No Common App fee waiver has been requested.
Parent 1, Yumei Zhao, serves as an Accountant or Actuary, employed by SHANGHAI SUN BRILLIANT TRADING. Her educational background includes an Associate's degree obtained in 1990 from Northeastern University at Qinhuangdao. Parent 2, Congyuan Bai, is a self-employed business owner or proprietor. He earned a Bachelor's degree in 1997 from Dongbei University of Finance and Economics.
In terms of secondary education, Prior to this, The anticipated graduation date is May 2024, indicating a late progression.
The applicant has participated in summer programs at Stanford University (July 2022) and Northwestern University (June-July 2023). Academic performance metrics indicate an unranked position among 163 students. Current and most recent year courses include a comprehensive International Baccalaureate (IB) curriculum, encompassing Higher Level Biology, Philosophy, and Theater, alongside Standard Level English A: Language and Literature, Chinese A: Language and Literature, and Mathematics Analysis and Approaches. Additionally, Theory of Knowledge and the IB DP Extended Essay are undertaken.
Distinguished honors include a championship title at the 9th China National Speech & Debate Association Tournament for High School Original Oratory (10th grade), second place at the 2022 Empire Mock Trial (Eclipse) (11th grade), and fourth place at the 2021 Stanford Invitational for High School Original Oratory JV (10th grade). The applicant also secured a championship at the 2021 Chinese Figure Skating Interclub League (Synchronized Skating) (11th grade) and achieved a Top 12 ranking at the 2021 China Educational Theater Association Competition (Monologue) (11th grade).
Future professional aspirations are currently undecided, with an Standardized testing results include anticipated IB Subject Tests in Philosophy-HL, Theatre-HL, Biology-HL, English A: Language and Literature-SL, Chinese A: Language and Literature-SL, and Mathematics Analysis and Approaches-SL, all scheduled for May 2024. The TOEFL iBT, taken on October 14, 2023, yielded a total score of 112, with sectional scores of 27 in Reading, 29 in Speaking, 28 in Listening, and 28 in Writing.
Extracurricular engagements demonstrate a commitment to various domains. Within the LGBT community, the applicant served as President of Spectrum in grades 11 and 12, organizing annual Pride Week events and field trips. In community service, the applicant co-founded and presided over Youth Theater On the Spectrum (grades 10-12), a 55-member organization that collaborated with Alibaba and seven special schools in China to design drama therapy games, develop curricula with a drama therapy practitioner, and host charity sales. In social justice, the applicant was a core member of One Room in grades 11 and 12, hosting the annual Vagina Week and initiating specialized workshops on topics such as marriage, folktales, and media. These activities collectively represent approximately 3 hours per week for 24-35 weeks per year and are ongoing. | {
"uid": "2023_2179_supp_c1_3503",
"essay_id": "2023_2179_supp_c1",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9977526204111711,
"input_words": 456,
"chosen_words": 563
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Wei-Jen Lee's contributions encompass a rigorous engagement with electrical engineering and environmental sustainability. As a primary author and presenter at an IEEE IAS conference, Lee dedicated 6 hours per week for 30 weeks per year to optimizing electric school bus charging schedules. This optimization involved the application of advanced algorithms to significantly reduce both operational costs and carbon emissions for the Round Rock Independent School District (RRISD). Concurrently, Lee served as the initiator of an independent sustainability initiative during the 11th and 12th grades, focusing on the replacement of diesel school buses with electric alternatives. This endeavor involved 4 hours per week for 30 weeks per year, during which Lee conducted crucial feasibility meetings with the Austin Independent School District (AISD) director of transportation and engaged in substantive discussions regarding policy and technology with prominent organizations such as the World Resources Institute, Austin Energy, and RRISD.
In the domain of community service, Lee established and presided over the Project Melody Initiative throughout grades 9 through 12. This commitment involved 6 hours per week for 15 weeks per year, during which Lee orchestrated over 50 concerts and performed 80 musical selections at various venues, including retirement homes, schools, and hospitals. Under Lee's leadership, the initiative successfully recruited more than 200 members and fundraised $1,000 for Texas flood recovery efforts.
Academically, Lee participated in the Girls Together Math Program at MIT during the 11th grade, dedicating 45 hours per week for 2 weeks per year to the study of olympiad-level mathematics. This intensive curriculum included topics such as Burnside's Lemma, the orbit-stabilizer theorem, combinatorial game theory, and inversions, culminating in the completion of two mock USA Mathematical Olympiad (USAMO) tests. Furthermore, during the 9th grade, Lee served as a student researcher and program participant at the MathWorks Honors Summer Math Camp, under the mentorship of Dr. Ivan Ojeda-Ruiz. This 45-hour per week, 6-week per year engagement involved exploring number theory, combinatorics, and analysis, alongside utilizing MATLAB to investigate biases within Google search machine learning algorithms.
In the realm of music, Lee was an integral member of The Westwood Orchestra throughout grades 9 through 12, serving as a section leader and soloist in grades 11 and 12, and as an officer in grade 12. This commitment entailed 7 hours per week for 36 weeks per year, during which Lee led cello sections, performed solos in rehearsals and concerts, and organized cello choir activities and social events for the 200+ member program. The orchestra achieved significant recognition, including being named a TMEA Honor Full Orchestra in 2024 and 2026.
Athletically, Lee was a dedicated participant in soccer, competing at the Varsity level in grades 10, 11, and 12, and at the Junior Varsity level in grade 9 for Westwood Women's Soccer, as well as with
Human-style rewrite: | Wei-Jen Lee
6 hr/wk, 30 wk/yr First author/presenter at IEEE IAS conference; optimized electric school
Continue bus charging schedule w/algorithms to reduce cost and emissions for
RRISD
Environmental
11, 12 Initiator, Independent Sustainability Initiative: Replacing Diesel School
Year Buses with Electric
4 hr/wk, 30 wk/yr Conducted feasibility meetings w/AISD director of transportation,
Continue discussed policy & technology w/World Resources Institute, Austin
Energy, and RRISD
9, 10, 11, 12 Founder, President, Project Melody Initiative
Year Led 50+ concerts and performed 80 selections at retirement homes,
6 hr/wk, 15 wk/yr schools, hospitals; recruited 200+ members; fundraised $1k for TX
Continue flood recovery
Science/Math
11 Program Participant, Girls Together Math Program, MIT, MA
Break Studied olympiad math topics including Burnside's Lemma, orbit-
45 hr/wk, 2 wk/yr stabilizer theorem, combinatorial game theory, inversions; tackled 2
Continue mock USAMO tests
Science/Math
Break
45 hr/wk, 6 wk/yr
Student Researcher, Program Participant, MathWorks Honors Summer
Math Camp, Mentor: Dr. Ivan Ojeda-Ruiz
Explored number theory, combinatorics, analysis; used MatLAB to
research biases in Google search machine learning algorithms
Music: Instrumental
9, 10, 11, 12 Section Leader & Soloist (11,12), Officer (12), The Westwood
School Orchestra
7 hr/wk, 36 wk/yr Led cellos and played solos in rehearsals/concerts; organized cello
Continue choir & socials for 200+ member program; TMEA Honor Full Orchestra
2024, 2026
Athletics: JV/Varsity
9, 10, 11, 12 Soccer, Varsity (10,11,12), JV (9); Player (9,10), Westwood Women's
School Soccer; FIERCE Soccer Club
15 hr/wk, 36 wk/yr Defensive mid in 16 games, debuted in goal w/2 clean sheets, 6A
Continue regional finalist; Competed at National League PRO, 2024 TX State Cup
Winners. Responsibilities and circumstances
• None of these
• None of these
Writing
Personal essay
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. | Wei-Jen Lee's contributions encompass a rigorous engagement with electrical engineering and environmental sustainability. As a primary author and presenter at an IEEE IAS conference, Lee dedicated 6 hours per week for 30 weeks per year to optimizing electric school bus charging schedules. This optimization involved the application of advanced algorithms to significantly reduce both operational costs and carbon emissions for the Round Rock Independent School District (RRISD). Concurrently, Lee served as the initiator of an independent sustainability initiative during the 11th and 12th grades, focusing on the replacement of diesel school buses with electric alternatives. This endeavor involved 4 hours per week for 30 weeks per year, during which Lee conducted crucial feasibility meetings with the Austin Independent School District (AISD) director of transportation and engaged in substantive discussions regarding policy and technology with prominent organizations such as the World Resources Institute, Austin Energy, and RRISD.
In the domain of community service, Lee established and presided over the Project Melody Initiative throughout grades 9 through 12. This commitment involved 6 hours per week for 15 weeks per year, during which Lee orchestrated over 50 concerts and performed 80 musical selections at various venues, including retirement homes, schools, and hospitals. Under Lee's leadership, the initiative successfully recruited more than 200 members and fundraised $1,000 for Texas flood recovery efforts.
Academically, Lee participated in the Girls Together Math Program at MIT during the 11th grade, dedicating 45 hours per week for 2 weeks per year to the study of olympiad-level mathematics. This intensive curriculum included topics such as Burnside's Lemma, the orbit-stabilizer theorem, combinatorial game theory, and inversions, culminating in the completion of two mock USA Mathematical Olympiad (USAMO) tests. Furthermore, during the 9th grade, Lee served as a student researcher and program participant at the MathWorks Honors Summer Math Camp, under the mentorship of Dr. Ivan Ojeda-Ruiz. This 45-hour per week, 6-week per year engagement involved exploring number theory, combinatorics, and analysis, alongside utilizing MATLAB to investigate biases within Google search machine learning algorithms.
In the realm of music, Lee was an integral member of The Westwood Orchestra throughout grades 9 through 12, serving as a section leader and soloist in grades 11 and 12, and as an officer in grade 12. This commitment entailed 7 hours per week for 36 weeks per year, during which Lee led cello sections, performed solos in rehearsals and concerts, and organized cello choir activities and social events for the 200+ member program. The orchestra achieved significant recognition, including being named a TMEA Honor Full Orchestra in 2024 and 2026.
Athletically, Lee was a dedicated participant in soccer, competing at the Varsity level in grades 10, 11, and 12, and at the Junior Varsity level in grade 9 for Westwood Women's Soccer, as well as with | {
"uid": "2025_4757_supp_c2_5836",
"essay_id": "2025_4757_supp_c2",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2025,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.969364372056873,
"input_words": 461,
"chosen_words": 286
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
My grandmother, a product of the 1950s, espouses a steadfast conviction in the concept of "institutional marriage," perceiving it as an inherent societal obligation for procreation and national advancement. Conversely, my mother, shaped by the 1970s, conceptualizes matrimony as a pursuit of empathetic companionship and existential stability. These distinct generational perspectives on marriage, demonstrably influenced by their respective eras, invariably permeated our familial dinner table discussions. Within this domestic forum, I encountered divergent solicitations: either an imperative to marry promptly post-graduation or an encouragement to maintain flexibility in both career and marital decisions. I consistently derive intellectual gratification from these intergenerational dialogues with my grandmother and mother, frequently finding amusement in their fervent articulation of marital philosophies, often juxtaposed with their admonitions against high school romantic entanglements. Nevertheless, these exchanges invariably underscored the profound significance of marriage within their lives and, by extension, within the broader female experience. This realization catalyzed my introspection regarding my own prospective choices within my contemporary era and ignited a curiosity about the diverse perspectives and decisions concerning marriage among women of varying generations and socio-cultural backgrounds in China.
This intellectual impetus directly informed my sociological research endeavor, which focused on China's population policies and women's marital attitudes, conducted under the esteemed mentorship of Professor Daniel Mattingly from Yale's Department of Political Science. My methodology involved conducting comprehensive oral history interviews, totaling 20 hours, with women born between the 1950s and the 1990s, commencing with individuals residing within my immediate neighborhood. The emergent thematic keywords from these conversations included "MBA," "PhD," "CPA," "CFA," "backpacking," and "yoga," among others, signifying their vibrant dynamism and professional achievements. However, beneath this veneer of success and vitality, I also discerned an underlying current of pessimism regarding the prospect of identifying a compatible partner, with some individuals having entirely relinquished the notion of marriage. A particularly illustrative case was the 37-year-old woman residing adjacent to me, who participated in my interview directly after attending to her newborn infant.
Human-style rewrite: | My grandmother, born in the 1950s, is a firm believer in what is called “institutional marriage.”
She believed it was her “duty” to marry and have children for the country’s development. My
mother, born in the 1970s, thinks marriage is about seeking compassionate company and a sense
of security. Their marital attitudes, bearing unmistakable traces of their eras, naturally found their
way to the dinner table, where I was either urged to get married soon after I graduate from
college or encouraged to stay open to career and marital choices. I enjoy my dinner table talks with grandma and mom, often amused by how they would eagerly
share with me their marital opinions while urging me against having a romantic relationship in
highschool. Yet I did realize from our conversations that marriage features an important place in
their life and perhaps in women’s life in general, prompting me to think about what I would do in
my place, in my own era, and what women of different generations and backgrounds in China
think about marriage and what they would choose to do. That was the drive behind my sociological research project on China’s population policies and
women’s marital attitudes under the guidance of Professor Daniel Mattingly of Yale’s
Department of Political Science. I conducted in-depth oral history interviews, 20 hours in total,
with women born from the 1950s throughout the 1990s, starting from the women living in my
own neighborhood. MBA, PhD, CPA, CFA, backpacking, yoga…these are among the keywords I
captured from our conversations. Yet behind their thriving energy and accomplished careers, I
also sensed their pessimism about ever finding a suitable partner. Some had even given up on the
idea of marriage altogether. The 37-year-old lady living next door offered a curious case, who came to my interview
immediately after feeding her newborn baby. | My grandmother, a product of the 1950s, espouses a steadfast conviction in the concept of "institutional marriage," perceiving it as an inherent societal obligation for procreation and national advancement. Conversely, my mother, shaped by the 1970s, conceptualizes matrimony as a pursuit of empathetic companionship and existential stability. These distinct generational perspectives on marriage, demonstrably influenced by their respective eras, invariably permeated our familial dinner table discussions. Within this domestic forum, I encountered divergent solicitations: either an imperative to marry promptly post-graduation or an encouragement to maintain flexibility in both career and marital decisions. I consistently derive intellectual gratification from these intergenerational dialogues with my grandmother and mother, frequently finding amusement in their fervent articulation of marital philosophies, often juxtaposed with their admonitions against high school romantic entanglements. Nevertheless, these exchanges invariably underscored the profound significance of marriage within their lives and, by extension, within the broader female experience. This realization catalyzed my introspection regarding my own prospective choices within my contemporary era and ignited a curiosity about the diverse perspectives and decisions concerning marriage among women of varying generations and socio-cultural backgrounds in China.
This intellectual impetus directly informed my sociological research endeavor, which focused on China's population policies and women's marital attitudes, conducted under the esteemed mentorship of Professor Daniel Mattingly from Yale's Department of Political Science. My methodology involved conducting comprehensive oral history interviews, totaling 20 hours, with women born between the 1950s and the 1990s, commencing with individuals residing within my immediate neighborhood. The emergent thematic keywords from these conversations included "MBA," "PhD," "CPA," "CFA," "backpacking," and "yoga," among others, signifying their vibrant dynamism and professional achievements. However, beneath this veneer of success and vitality, I also discerned an underlying current of pessimism regarding the prospect of identifying a compatible partner, with some individuals having entirely relinquished the notion of marriage. A particularly illustrative case was the 37-year-old woman residing adjacent to me, who participated in my interview directly after attending to her newborn infant. | {
"uid": "2022_1083_supp_c0_1075",
"essay_id": "2022_1083_supp_c0",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9949553711366851,
"input_words": 328,
"chosen_words": 306
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
**Academic Engagement**
During a two-week pre-college program at Brown University, I dedicated 20 hours per week to the study of Public Speaking and Economic Policy. My contributions included the delivery of a policy speech titled "The Triangular Circulation of Economics," wherein I applied a quantitative analytical framework to economic systems to formulate equity-focused solutions.
**Personal Narrative: Formative Experiences**
My most cherished recollections with my father are intrinsically linked to our motorcycle excursions. Irrespective of the climatic conditions, whether it was the intense summer heat or the biting winter fog, my father and I traversed the landscapes bordering the Yangtze River atop his Yamaha R6. I was profoundly drawn to the exhilaration of speed, the profound sense of liberation, and the refreshing sensation of the wind mitigating Chongqing's persistent humidity.
However, certain paternal memories persist as disquieting elements within my subconscious. During my formative years, my father's demeanor would undergo a profound and unsettling transformation under the influence of alcohol. The slightest provocation could precipitate an aggressive outburst. In such instances, I would instinctively retreat behind my bedroom door upon the commencement of his vocalizations. On occasion, I would discern the sounds of shattering objects and my mother's distress, yet my fear of the perceived "monster" rendered me incapable of intervening. When I inquired about my father's alcohol consumption, my mother would invariably state that he "had his reasons."
This assertion alluded to my father's engagement in alcohol consumption as a strategic imperative for securing business opportunities for his clothing manufacturing enterprise. Within the Chinese cultural context, business transactions are frequently finalized during social dinners rather than within conventional office environments. The consumption of baijiu, a traditional Chinese spirit, constitutes an integral component of formal business dinners. Toasts are customarily initiated in sequential rounds, and the refusal of a "Bottoms up!" is generally perceived as an act of disrespect. Consequently, all participants typically conclude the evening in an intoxicated state. My father confided that he did not possess a personal predilection for baijiu; his consumption was solely motivated by the exigencies of his factory's commercial operations.
Human-style rewrite: | Academic
10 Student, Brown University Pre-College Program: Public Speaking &
Break Economic Policy
20 hr/wk, 2 wk/yr Delivered policy speech "The Triangular Circulation of Economics";
Continue analyzed economic systems through quantitative lens for equity-
focused solutions. Responsibilities and circumstances
• Managing family or household finances, budget, or paying bills
• None of these
Writing
Personal essay
Some students have a background, identity, their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your
story. My most cherished memories with Dad took place on motorcycle rides. Through the scorching
summer heat and the chilly winter fog, Dad and I rode along the Yangtze River on his Yamaha R6. I
loved the speed, the sense of freedom, and the feel of the wind alleviating Chongqing’s year-round
humidity. However, some memories of Dad haunt me in my dreams—when I was younger, he became
unrecognizable whenever he got drunk. The slightest trigger would turn him into an aggressive
monster. I would hide behind my bedroom door the moment he started yelling. Sometimes I would
hear objects breaking and Mom crying, but I was too terrified of the monster to check on her. When I asked Mom about Dad’s drinking problem, she would say he “had his reasons.”
She meant that Dad drank to acquire business for his clothing manufacturing factory. In China,
deals are often reached over dinner tables rather than at office desks. Drinking baijiu, a Chinese
liquor, is a fundamental part of a proper business dinner. Toasts are initiated in rounds, and
declining someone’s “Bottoms up!” is considered disrespectful. Everyone goes home drunk. Dad
told me he didn’t even like baijiu; he had to drink for the sake of the factory. | **Academic Engagement**
During a two-week pre-college program at Brown University, I dedicated 20 hours per week to the study of Public Speaking and Economic Policy. My contributions included the delivery of a policy speech titled "The Triangular Circulation of Economics," wherein I applied a quantitative analytical framework to economic systems to formulate equity-focused solutions.
**Personal Narrative: Formative Experiences**
My most cherished recollections with my father are intrinsically linked to our motorcycle excursions. Irrespective of the climatic conditions, whether it was the intense summer heat or the biting winter fog, my father and I traversed the landscapes bordering the Yangtze River atop his Yamaha R6. I was profoundly drawn to the exhilaration of speed, the profound sense of liberation, and the refreshing sensation of the wind mitigating Chongqing's persistent humidity.
However, certain paternal memories persist as disquieting elements within my subconscious. During my formative years, my father's demeanor would undergo a profound and unsettling transformation under the influence of alcohol. The slightest provocation could precipitate an aggressive outburst. In such instances, I would instinctively retreat behind my bedroom door upon the commencement of his vocalizations. On occasion, I would discern the sounds of shattering objects and my mother's distress, yet my fear of the perceived "monster" rendered me incapable of intervening. When I inquired about my father's alcohol consumption, my mother would invariably state that he "had his reasons."
This assertion alluded to my father's engagement in alcohol consumption as a strategic imperative for securing business opportunities for his clothing manufacturing enterprise. Within the Chinese cultural context, business transactions are frequently finalized during social dinners rather than within conventional office environments. The consumption of baijiu, a traditional Chinese spirit, constitutes an integral component of formal business dinners. Toasts are customarily initiated in sequential rounds, and the refusal of a "Bottoms up!" is generally perceived as an act of disrespect. Consequently, all participants typically conclude the evening in an intoxicated state. My father confided that he did not possess a personal predilection for baijiu; his consumption was solely motivated by the exigencies of his factory's commercial operations. | {
"uid": "2025_3340_supp_c4_7557",
"essay_id": "2025_3340_supp_c4",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T50",
"year": 2025,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9983355824666879,
"input_words": 345,
"chosen_words": 284
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Our initiatives have encompassed the development and deployment of online learning modules and digital platforms, reaching over 3,000 adolescents across multiple international jurisdictions. These endeavors were executed in collaborative partnership with esteemed institutions such as UWC and the Alibaba Foundation, with the primary objective of cultivating a Design Thinking paradigm and fostering the generation of innovative solutions to diverse challenges. Domestically, within our campus and urban environment, we have conceptualized and proposed strategic interventions aimed at enhancing sustainability, addressing concerns such as the optimization of electricity consumption within library facilities and the more efficient utilization of interior spatial configurations. Over the course of three years, a fundamental insight has been acquired: the paramount determinant of successful design resides in the rigorous processes of active listening, comprehensive understanding, and profound empathy with the end-user. This principle, we have observed, directly translates to real-world interactions. My personal development has been marked by an augmented capacity for empathy, stemming from the recognition of the inherent value in comprehending the needs of others through non-judgmental discourse and collaborative engagement. The iterative process of solution generation, informed by a psychological understanding of user requirements, has proven particularly gratifying. Consequently, I am confident that within the multidisciplinary and dynamic environment of the Rice community, we possess the collective capacity to incubate and execute increasingly impactful design projects.
Furthermore, my distinct cultural and personal identities are anticipated to facilitate seamless integration into various communities within the undergraduate experience. My sustained involvement as a representative within high school Student Government has endowed me with proficient communication skills, enabling effective liaison with diverse departments and student organizations to ensure the successful execution of community events. Throughout my prior academic institutions, I have consistently acted as a staunch advocate for and active contributor to initiatives promoting gender equality, supporting the LGBTQ+ community, advancing psychological health support programs, and enhancing youth education. This background positions me to actively participate in identity-aligned activities, such as Pride Week and Pride Show, and to proactively organize similar community events where such structures may not yet exist. My instrumental role in organizing events such as color runs and "Vagina Day" has provided invaluable experience in strategies for maximizing community engagement and fostering collective cohesion. Moreover, the specialized knowledge acquired during my internship at psychiatric hospitals equips me to serve as an effective partner in peer mentorship and mental health support programs.
Human-style rewrite: | We launched websites and online learning units for 3000+ teens in different
countries, cooperating with institutions such as UWC and Alibaba Foundation to teach the mindset
of Design Thinking and to facilitate ideate solutions for various issues. To help our campus
community and city become more sustainable, we proposed solutions for issues such as how to
reduce the waste of electricity in a library and make better use of indoor spaces. Through the three
years, I have learned that the critical aspect of a successful design is listening, understanding, and
empathizing with the user of our products - what they truly need. It is the same in real life. I
became more empathic because I realized the beauty of understanding others' needs in
nonjudgmental communication and bonding, and I enjoyed the solution-finding process through
psychological understanding from the users of our designs. In the multidisciplinary and vibrant
Rice community, I believe we can develop more valuable design projects. On the other hand, I believe my cultural and personal identities will allow me to join certain
communities within undergraduate life. My continuous engagement as representative in Student
Government at high-school equip me with abilities to communicate with different apartments and
student organizations to guarantee successful community events. In my past schools, I am a firm
supporter and contributor of programs, and youth education programs. I can actively engage in activities related with my
identities such as pride week and pride show, and even organize community events if they are not
yet present. My participation in organizing color runs and Vagina Day gives me essential
experience on how to involve more community members in participation and bonding. I also
believe that I can become a good partner in buddy programs and mental supports based on
knowledge gained in my internship in psychiatric hospitals. Box submission Upload now via
The Box
. | Our initiatives have encompassed the development and deployment of online learning modules and digital platforms, reaching over 3,000 adolescents across multiple international jurisdictions. These endeavors were executed in collaborative partnership with esteemed institutions such as UWC and the Alibaba Foundation, with the primary objective of cultivating a Design Thinking paradigm and fostering the generation of innovative solutions to diverse challenges. Domestically, within our campus and urban environment, we have conceptualized and proposed strategic interventions aimed at enhancing sustainability, addressing concerns such as the optimization of electricity consumption within library facilities and the more efficient utilization of interior spatial configurations. Over the course of three years, a fundamental insight has been acquired: the paramount determinant of successful design resides in the rigorous processes of active listening, comprehensive understanding, and profound empathy with the end-user. This principle, we have observed, directly translates to real-world interactions. My personal development has been marked by an augmented capacity for empathy, stemming from the recognition of the inherent value in comprehending the needs of others through non-judgmental discourse and collaborative engagement. The iterative process of solution generation, informed by a psychological understanding of user requirements, has proven particularly gratifying. Consequently, I am confident that within the multidisciplinary and dynamic environment of the Rice community, we possess the collective capacity to incubate and execute increasingly impactful design projects.
Furthermore, my distinct cultural and personal identities are anticipated to facilitate seamless integration into various communities within the undergraduate experience. My sustained involvement as a representative within high school Student Government has endowed me with proficient communication skills, enabling effective liaison with diverse departments and student organizations to ensure the successful execution of community events. Throughout my prior academic institutions, I have consistently acted as a staunch advocate for and active contributor to initiatives promoting gender equality, supporting the LGBTQ+ community, advancing psychological health support programs, and enhancing youth education. This background positions me to actively participate in identity-aligned activities, such as Pride Week and Pride Show, and to proactively organize similar community events where such structures may not yet exist. My instrumental role in organizing events such as color runs and "Vagina Day" has provided invaluable experience in strategies for maximizing community engagement and fostering collective cohesion. Moreover, the specialized knowledge acquired during my internship at psychiatric hospitals equips me to serve as an effective partner in peer mentorship and mental health support programs. | {
"uid": "2022_614_supp_c2_594",
"essay_id": "2022_614_supp_c2",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9980128398196355,
"input_words": 396,
"chosen_words": 309
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Upon initiating a discourse concerning the profound lyrical interpretations of my preferred cultural icons, I observed her attentive reception. Subsequently, she reciprocated with an anecdotal account from her formative years, detailing her companions' fervent admiration for Dehua Liu, a prominent vocalist of their epoch. She recounted instances of her friend meticulously transcribing his lyrics into notebooks and vocalizing his compositions throughout the day. A mischievous expression then adorned her countenance as she narrated the announcement of Liu's marriage, an event that precipitated hours of profound distress for her friend. The unexpected levity with which my mother, typically characterized by seriousness, conveyed this narrative elicited an involuntary burst of amusement from me.
During these exchanges, my mother demonstrated a patient and non-judgmental attentiveness, prompting a realization of my own prior hasty judgments. While she may embody the archetype of a "tiger mother," she also possesses an endearing, almost girlish facet that I had previously disregarded due to the imposition of a rigid categorization. As I discarded this preconceived filter, the true essence of her actions and pronouncements became discernibly different. Her prohibition against ear piercing, for instance, was not merely an act of strictness but stemmed from a genuine concern regarding potential infections during the summer months. Similarly, her insistence on familial birthday dinners was rooted in her own unfulfilled desire for such experiences with her parents. This shift in perspective fostered a greater frequency of communication between us, encompassing the sharing of daily triumphs and tribulations, collaborative culinary endeavors, and joint recipe formulation. The previously imperceptible barrier between us dissolved, a transformation catalyzed by a singular conversation predicated on mutual communicative effort and genuine, empathetic listening.
From this transformative experience, I assimilated invaluable insights into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, particularly within the familial context. These insights underscore the imperative of maintaining an inquisitive disposition towards others and prioritizing affection over the impulsive inclination towards animosity.
Human-style rewrite: | As I started explaining my favorite idols and the
deep meaning behind their lyrics, she listened. EV
She then started telling me a story from her own youth. She shared with me the stories of her best
friends who had been obsessed with Dehua Liu, a famous singer from their generation. She told
me how her friend would copy his lyrics into notebooks and hum his songs all day long. And then,
with a mischievous grin, she described the day Liu announced his marriage—her friend was so
devastated, she cried for hours! I couldn’t help but laugh as my mom, usually so serious, told the
story with such fondness. PR
In those moments, my mom patiently listened before judging. I then started to realize how quickly I
had judged her. She might be a tiger mother, but she too has an endearing side of a cute girl, which
I had overlooked by sticking her with a rigid label. As I put down my filtered lens, the meaning of
her action and words can strike so different — when she didn’t want me to get my ears pierced, it
wasn’t just to be strict, it was because she was worried about infections in the summer heat. When she insisted on birthday dinners with family, it was because she never had that chance with
her own parents. We started communicating more often, sharing our daily wonders and frustration, cooking dinners,
and designing our recipes together. The invisible wall magically breaks down all because of a
simple conversation because we made the efforts to communicate and patiently listen, really
Through this, I began to understand the invaluable lessons learned in my relationship with my
mom: always stay curious about others and try to love before rushing to hate. | Upon initiating a discourse concerning the profound lyrical interpretations of my preferred cultural icons, I observed her attentive reception. Subsequently, she reciprocated with an anecdotal account from her formative years, detailing her companions' fervent admiration for Dehua Liu, a prominent vocalist of their epoch. She recounted instances of her friend meticulously transcribing his lyrics into notebooks and vocalizing his compositions throughout the day. A mischievous expression then adorned her countenance as she narrated the announcement of Liu's marriage, an event that precipitated hours of profound distress for her friend. The unexpected levity with which my mother, typically characterized by seriousness, conveyed this narrative elicited an involuntary burst of amusement from me.
During these exchanges, my mother demonstrated a patient and non-judgmental attentiveness, prompting a realization of my own prior hasty judgments. While she may embody the archetype of a "tiger mother," she also possesses an endearing, almost girlish facet that I had previously disregarded due to the imposition of a rigid categorization. As I discarded this preconceived filter, the true essence of her actions and pronouncements became discernibly different. Her prohibition against ear piercing, for instance, was not merely an act of strictness but stemmed from a genuine concern regarding potential infections during the summer months. Similarly, her insistence on familial birthday dinners was rooted in her own unfulfilled desire for such experiences with her parents. This shift in perspective fostered a greater frequency of communication between us, encompassing the sharing of daily triumphs and tribulations, collaborative culinary endeavors, and joint recipe formulation. The previously imperceptible barrier between us dissolved, a transformation catalyzed by a singular conversation predicated on mutual communicative effort and genuine, empathetic listening.
From this transformative experience, I assimilated invaluable insights into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships, particularly within the familial context. These insights underscore the imperative of maintaining an inquisitive disposition towards others and prioritizing affection over the impulsive inclination towards animosity. | {
"uid": "2024_2848_supp_c4_5827",
"essay_id": "2024_2848_supp_c4",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T50",
"year": 2024,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.8798720048782205,
"input_words": 316,
"chosen_words": 295
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
On December 10, 2018, for the Middlebury College application, I am submitting my details as a full-time degree-seeking student, with a preference for the 2019-20 academic year as my start term and September as the ideal admission month. I have selected the Early Decision plan and confirm that I do not qualify for any school-specific fee waivers. Furthermore, I affirm that I have thoroughly reviewed and understood my rights and responsibilities under the Early Decision Process, and I wish to be considered as an Early Decision candidate at Middlebury College. I acknowledge that, should I receive an offer of admission through this process, the institution may share my name and my early commitment with other colleges. My extracurricular involvements include Community Service, participation in Cultural Clubs focused on languages, diversity, and cultural backgrounds, engagement in Political and Activist Clubs, involvement in Outdoor Programs, and participation in Visual and Performing Arts. I have not previously applied to Middlebury College, and for contact purposes, I designate "Other" as the category, while granting consent for Middlebury College to reach me at the provided mobile phone number, +86.18862100025. Regarding family matters, no siblings have applied, no relatives have attended the college, and no family members have ever been employed by Middlebury College. By submitting this application, I affirm my full understanding of and agreement to the relevant statements outlined in the application guidelines.
Human-style rewrite: | 2018/12/10 The
Middlebury College Questions
General
Student status Full-Time Degree Seeking
Preferred start term The 2019-20 academic year
Admission I prefer September admission. Preference
Admission plan Early Decision
Do you intend to use No, I do not qualify for a school specific fee waiver
one of these school-
specific fee waivers? Early Decision Yes, I have read and understand my rights and responsibilities under the Early Decision Process. I wish to be
Agreement considered as an Early Decision candidate at Middlebury College. I also understand that with an Early Decision
offer of admission, this institution may share my name and my early commitment with other institutions. Hanzhi
Wang
Activities
Activity 1 Community Service
Activity 2 Cultural Clubs (Languages, Diversity, Cultural Background, etc.)
Activity 3 Political and Activist Clubs
Activity 4 Outdoor Programs
Activity 5 Visual and Performing Arts
Contacts
Previously applied No
Contact 1 Other
Contact Consent I consent to be contacted by Middlebury College at the mobile phone number provided below. Phone Number +86.18862100025
Family
Sibling applied No
Relatives attended No
member
Have any relatives No
ever worked for
Middlebury College? Please include
anyone already
listed on the Family
Page. Affirmations
By submitting this application, I affirm my understanding of and agreement to the statements found here: | On December 10, 2018, for the Middlebury College application, I am submitting my details as a full-time degree-seeking student, with a preference for the 2019-20 academic year as my start term and September as the ideal admission month. I have selected the Early Decision plan and confirm that I do not qualify for any school-specific fee waivers. Furthermore, I affirm that I have thoroughly reviewed and understood my rights and responsibilities under the Early Decision Process, and I wish to be considered as an Early Decision candidate at Middlebury College. I acknowledge that, should I receive an offer of admission through this process, the institution may share my name and my early commitment with other colleges. My extracurricular involvements include Community Service, participation in Cultural Clubs focused on languages, diversity, and cultural backgrounds, engagement in Political and Activist Clubs, involvement in Outdoor Programs, and participation in Visual and Performing Arts. I have not previously applied to Middlebury College, and for contact purposes, I designate "Other" as the category, while granting consent for Middlebury College to reach me at the provided mobile phone number, +86.18862100025. Regarding family matters, no siblings have applied, no relatives have attended the college, and no family members have ever been employed by Middlebury College. By submitting this application, I affirm my full understanding of and agreement to the relevant statements outlined in the application guidelines. | {
"uid": "2018_1462_supp_c0_118_grok",
"essay_id": "2018_1462_supp_c0",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T50",
"year": 2018,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9995360804389218,
"input_words": 229,
"chosen_words": 208
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
This prompt invites reflection on a pivotal accomplishment, event, or realization that initiated a phase of profound personal development and a refined comprehension of oneself or others. My personal trajectory has been marked by a consistent difficulty in the art of parting. Despite having resided in diverse geographical locales—from the coastal ambiance of Dalian and the vibrant nocturnal cityscape of Shanghai, to the multicultural nexus of Singapore, the verdant, often rain-shrouded territories of England, and ultimately, a return to the familiar, humid embrace of Singapore—one might surmise that I would have acclimated to the process of farewells. Nevertheless, each separation continues to evoke a sense of unpreparedness, characterized by a persistent reluctance to disengage.
Within the emotional landscape of nostalgic tears, I cultivated a method for navigating the sensitivities of a tender heart, a disposition I have possessed since my formative years in the congenial community of Dalian. Empathy and compassion intrinsically became integral components of my being, furnishing a sense of belonging and a semblance of home that frequently appeared geographically distant. While I consistently forge profound emotional connections with individuals in my immediate environment, I simultaneously possess a keen awareness of the latent sorrow inherent in such a predisposition.
Upon the commencement of ninth grade, when opportunities for community service became available, my attention was drawn to a local initiative termed "Music Therapy" at a nursing facility catering to dementia patients. Anticipating the potential for meaningful connections with the residents, I registered without hesitation, unaware of the transformative experiences that lay ahead. Within the initial semester, I experienced a change in partners on three occasions; two of the residents to whom I had been assigned were transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. Only one of these individuals subsequently returned. Our Friday afternoon sessions resumed, involving shared musical experiences and conversations; however, by this juncture, she had lost the ability to communicate in both Chinese and English, retaining only her native Malay. The songs we had previously shared, which she had known intimately and from which she had derived immense pleasure mere weeks prior, now elicited no discernible reaction. This particular day culminated in an emotional breakdown during my journey home, leading to an immediate resolution to discontinue my involvement. The prospect of witnessing their fragile, emaciated forms, often accompanied by the presence of oxygen tubes, proved unbearable.
Human-style rewrite: | Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a
new understanding of yourself or others. I have never mastered the art of farewells. I’ve called many places home—bathed in the coastal
breezes of Dalian, under the neon-lit nights of Shanghai, at the crossroads of cultures in Singapore,
in the rain-veiled landscapes of England, and at last, circled back to the familiar humid embrace of
Singapore. One would think I had grown accustomed to goodbyes, yet I still find myself
unprepared when parting comes. I cling tightly, reluctant to let go. In the tears of nostalgia, I learned to cope with a tender heart, one I’ve carried since childhood in
the warm neighbourhood of Dalian. Empathy and caring became my second nature, offering me a
sense of belonging, of home that often seemed too far to return. I always form deep emotional
bonds with those around me, yet I understood too well the hidden sorrow beneath such a “gift”. At the start of ninth grade, when service sign-ups opened, I spotted a local service called “Music
Therapy” at a nursing home for dementia patients. I thought about the connection the residents
could provide, and signed up without hesitation, unaware of what awaited me. In just my first semester, I changed three partners—two of the residents I’d been assigned to were
transferred to the ICU. Only one of them returned. We resumed our Friday afternoons together,
listening to music and chatting—only this time, she had forgotten both Chinese and English, and
could speak only her mother tongue, Malay. The songs we had sung together just weeks earlier, of
which she knew every single lyric and from which she experienced such joy, now drew no reaction
from her. That day, I broke down in the car back home, vowing that I would quit. I couldn’t bear seeing them
again, frail and thin, with oxygen tubes stuck up their noses. | This prompt invites reflection on a pivotal accomplishment, event, or realization that initiated a phase of profound personal development and a refined comprehension of oneself or others. My personal trajectory has been marked by a consistent difficulty in the art of parting. Despite having resided in diverse geographical locales—from the coastal ambiance of Dalian and the vibrant nocturnal cityscape of Shanghai, to the multicultural nexus of Singapore, the verdant, often rain-shrouded territories of England, and ultimately, a return to the familiar, humid embrace of Singapore—one might surmise that I would have acclimated to the process of farewells. Nevertheless, each separation continues to evoke a sense of unpreparedness, characterized by a persistent reluctance to disengage.
Within the emotional landscape of nostalgic tears, I cultivated a method for navigating the sensitivities of a tender heart, a disposition I have possessed since my formative years in the congenial community of Dalian. Empathy and compassion intrinsically became integral components of my being, furnishing a sense of belonging and a semblance of home that frequently appeared geographically distant. While I consistently forge profound emotional connections with individuals in my immediate environment, I simultaneously possess a keen awareness of the latent sorrow inherent in such a predisposition.
Upon the commencement of ninth grade, when opportunities for community service became available, my attention was drawn to a local initiative termed "Music Therapy" at a nursing facility catering to dementia patients. Anticipating the potential for meaningful connections with the residents, I registered without hesitation, unaware of the transformative experiences that lay ahead. Within the initial semester, I experienced a change in partners on three occasions; two of the residents to whom I had been assigned were transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. Only one of these individuals subsequently returned. Our Friday afternoon sessions resumed, involving shared musical experiences and conversations; however, by this juncture, she had lost the ability to communicate in both Chinese and English, retaining only her native Malay. The songs we had previously shared, which she had known intimately and from which she had derived immense pleasure mere weeks prior, now elicited no discernible reaction. This particular day culminated in an emotional breakdown during my journey home, leading to an immediate resolution to discontinue my involvement. The prospect of witnessing their fragile, emaciated forms, often accompanied by the presence of oxygen tubes, proved unbearable. | {
"uid": "2025_4290_ps_c0_7330",
"essay_id": "2025_4290_ps_c0",
"type": "ps",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2025,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9664588257844289,
"input_words": 389,
"chosen_words": 322
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Consequently, upon each return to Huyi, I invariably utilize my camera to encapsulate the quintessence of shared communal experiences, ranging from the pyrotechnic displays of the Chinese New Year to the veneration ceremonies of the Qingming Festival. It is conceivable that the collective traditional life prevalent in rural locales such as Huyi may gradually recede as urbanization advances. As the cultural heritage to which I belong undergoes this process of attenuation, I endeavor to commemorate it by proactively engaging with Huyi's collective memory through meticulous documentation and collaborative dissemination. My photographic endeavors serve to capture and safeguard the intrinsic nature of these communal experiences, encompassing both the celebratory fireworks of the Chinese New Year and the ancestral reverence observed during the Qingming Festival. It is my aspiration that through the medium of photography, the diminishing vibrancy of Huyi's cultural palette can be revitalized, thereby transmitting enduring warmth.
Irrespective of whether it manifests as the farmer paintings adorning the dwellings in Huyi or the vivid graffiti embellishing the thoroughfares of Houston, Texas, my paramount objective is to imbue a distinct cultural milieu with my unique creative expression. I intend to leverage my photographic art to forge connections with diverse individuals and traditions, transforming my lens into an illuminating beacon that enkindles residents' recollections for posterity. My artistic commitment extends beyond the confines of my hometown. On my personal photography website, I have curated a dedicated section showcasing the customs and lifestyles inherent to various cultural environments: for instance, the cyclical trajectory of Venetian civilization as observed from its waterways, or the ecological repercussions of grassland degradation impacting nomadic communities in Xinjiang. By sharing my photographic insights with fellow inhabitants, I aim to transmit the fading warmth of Huyi, alongside that of analogous cultural traditions globally.
Human-style rewrite: | Thus, whenever I return to Huyi, I bring my camera to capture the
essence of communal experiences, from fireworks shows in the Chinese New Year to ancestor
worship events in the Qingming Festival. It might be inevitable that the collective traditional life in rural regions like Huyi gradually
disappears as urbanization progresses. Growing up as the cultural tradition I belong to fades
away, I try to commemorate it by actively engaging with Huyi’s collective memory through careful
documentation and group sharing. My photography captures and preserves the essence of
communal experiences, from fireworks shows in the Chinese New Year to ancestor worship
events in the Qingming Festival. I hope that through photography as a medium, the disappearing
warm colors in Huyi can enliven and convey ever-lasting warmth. Whether it's the farmer paintings on the walls of farmers' homes in Huyi, or the colorful graffiti on
the streets of Houston, Texas, what I look forward to most is to leave my own color in a different
cultural atmosphere. I plan to use my photography to connect with people and various traditions,
turning my lens into a torch that brightens residents’ memories for future generations. I am committed to expanding my artistry beyond my hometown. On my personal photography
website, I created a special section featuring the customs and lifestyles of people’s respective
cultural environments: the rise and fall of Venetian civilization on boats, the withering of
grasslands affecting nomads in Xinjiang, etc. By sharing my photography with fellow residents, I
pass on the disappearing warm colors in Huyi will as well as those in similar cultural traditions
around the globe. Box submission Upload now via Common Application
The Box
. Honor System Xinyu Li
acknowledgement
The Box Upload | Consequently, upon each return to Huyi, I invariably utilize my camera to encapsulate the quintessence of shared communal experiences, ranging from the pyrotechnic displays of the Chinese New Year to the veneration ceremonies of the Qingming Festival. It is conceivable that the collective traditional life prevalent in rural locales such as Huyi may gradually recede as urbanization advances. As the cultural heritage to which I belong undergoes this process of attenuation, I endeavor to commemorate it by proactively engaging with Huyi's collective memory through meticulous documentation and collaborative dissemination. My photographic endeavors serve to capture and safeguard the intrinsic nature of these communal experiences, encompassing both the celebratory fireworks of the Chinese New Year and the ancestral reverence observed during the Qingming Festival. It is my aspiration that through the medium of photography, the diminishing vibrancy of Huyi's cultural palette can be revitalized, thereby transmitting enduring warmth.
Irrespective of whether it manifests as the farmer paintings adorning the dwellings in Huyi or the vivid graffiti embellishing the thoroughfares of Houston, Texas, my paramount objective is to imbue a distinct cultural milieu with my unique creative expression. I intend to leverage my photographic art to forge connections with diverse individuals and traditions, transforming my lens into an illuminating beacon that enkindles residents' recollections for posterity. My artistic commitment extends beyond the confines of my hometown. On my personal photography website, I have curated a dedicated section showcasing the customs and lifestyles inherent to various cultural environments: for instance, the cyclical trajectory of Venetian civilization as observed from its waterways, or the ecological repercussions of grassland degradation impacting nomadic communities in Xinjiang. By sharing my photographic insights with fellow inhabitants, I aim to transmit the fading warmth of Huyi, alongside that of analogous cultural traditions globally. | {
"uid": "2023_2463_supp_c2_3224",
"essay_id": "2023_2463_supp_c2",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9895844075655789,
"input_words": 294,
"chosen_words": 287
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Our initiative was fundamentally driven by a desire to conceptualize the augmented potential of women in the absence of societal impediments and biases, and to consider the profound impact that narratives of achievement could exert upon women navigating analogous circumstances. This foundational aspiration catalyzed my interviewing project, wherein I extended invitations to accomplished female scientists to impart their wisdom, either through on-campus engagements or virtual platforms. Notable contributors included Rong Yi, whose trajectory from a mountainous village to chief designer of the Long March-2F carrier rocket exemplifies remarkable ascent; Chen Mingyi, who, despite formidable challenges, secured a position on the National Team for the International Mathematical Olympiad at the age of 15; and Li Ying, who defied conventional expectations to become Vice President of UTStarcom at 24, rather than embracing a predetermined domestic role. The aggregated insights from this project were subsequently disseminated via a WeChat public account, thereby broadening the reach of these empowering life stories. The profound narratives shared by these women in STEM instilled a collective sense of optimism and motivation within myself and fellow club members, encouraging the pursuit of our individual aspirations. This endeavor represents my contribution to fostering community engagement: the establishment of a platform designed for the dissemination of shared aspirations, transforming mere dreams into tangible realities.
Regarding future skill acquisition, I aspire to cultivate the art of storytelling that effectively bridges diverse backgrounds and My source of joy is found in the tranquil act of sitting on a park bench, savoring bubble tea, and engaging in the imaginative process of casting an imaginary audition for my personal collection of movie clips.
Human-style rewrite: | We wanted to envision how
much more women could achieve without obstacles and prejudices, to think about how inspiring
stories could empower and inspire women who are under similar circumstances. That was the drive behind my interviewing project, where I invited some of the successful female
scientists to share they insight either on campus or online: Rong Yi, born and raised in a
mountainous village, became the chief designer of Long March-2F carrier rocket; Chen Mingyi,
against all odds, joined the National Team for the International Mathematical Olympiad at 15; Li
Ying, who refused the designated role of housewife and became the VP of UTStarcom at 24. We compiled the project together and published it on the WeChat public account so that more
people might be inspired and empowered by these life stories. Listening to the stories shared by
these women in STEM made me and everyone in the club feel hopeful and motivated to pursue our
own dreams. And this is how I contribute to my own community, by creating a platform where
dreams are shared, dreams that don’t have to always remain dreams. More About You There are no right or
wrong answers. Be yourself! What is a new skill you would like to learn in college? Story-telling that connects people of diverse backgrounds and mindful choreographer constructing scenes with hidden clues of inspiration, an emotional dancer
conveying through movements and gestures the experiences that shape my identity, a
mathematician explaining the world’s fascinating rules and anomalies with innovative hypotheses. What brings you joy? Sitting on a park bench and sipping bubble tea, I’d love to host an imaginary audition for my movie
clips. | Our initiative was fundamentally driven by a desire to conceptualize the augmented potential of women in the absence of societal impediments and biases, and to consider the profound impact that narratives of achievement could exert upon women navigating analogous circumstances. This foundational aspiration catalyzed my interviewing project, wherein I extended invitations to accomplished female scientists to impart their wisdom, either through on-campus engagements or virtual platforms. Notable contributors included Rong Yi, whose trajectory from a mountainous village to chief designer of the Long March-2F carrier rocket exemplifies remarkable ascent; Chen Mingyi, who, despite formidable challenges, secured a position on the National Team for the International Mathematical Olympiad at the age of 15; and Li Ying, who defied conventional expectations to become Vice President of UTStarcom at 24, rather than embracing a predetermined domestic role. The aggregated insights from this project were subsequently disseminated via a WeChat public account, thereby broadening the reach of these empowering life stories. The profound narratives shared by these women in STEM instilled a collective sense of optimism and motivation within myself and fellow club members, encouraging the pursuit of our individual aspirations. This endeavor represents my contribution to fostering community engagement: the establishment of a platform designed for the dissemination of shared aspirations, transforming mere dreams into tangible realities.
Regarding future skill acquisition, I aspire to cultivate the art of storytelling that effectively bridges diverse backgrounds and My source of joy is found in the tranquil act of sitting on a park bench, savoring bubble tea, and engaging in the imaginative process of casting an imaginary audition for my personal collection of movie clips. | {
"uid": "2022_917_supp_c2_817",
"essay_id": "2022_917_supp_c2",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9979843447428336,
"input_words": 269,
"chosen_words": 276
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
For my application to New York University, I specify the following preferences: a general start in the Fall term, with the primary campus in New York aligned to the Preferred Early Decision Admission Notification Plan. There are no school-specific fee waivers, and I express a desire to reside in on-campus housing at NYU. I am not submitting testing scores, as I apply to Steinhardt or Tisch, and I have no International Exchange (IE) involvement. My preferred testing plan includes the SAT Reasoning Test or the International Baccalaureate Diploma, while for English language proficiency, I intend to take the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language). I fully understand the CSS Profile requirements, and regarding the FAFSA, I do not possess a Social Security Number, a detail I also comprehend.
In reflecting on why NYU resonates with me, I recall shuttling between Founders' Hall and 25th West Street, embarking on field trips to Brooklyn for the Media, Culture, and Communication course, savoring performances like "Come from Away" on Broadway, and bidding farewell to my Precollege peers during a Hudson River cruise—all of which solidified NYU as my ultimate destination. The institution's academic resources, which artfully blend theoretical instruction with practical challenges, alongside the wealth of opportunities both within the campus and across New York City, captivate me profoundly. I am keen to advance my exploration of social problem-solving, drawing inspiration from my mother, who exemplifies balance and excellence in both domestic and professional realms. Through my internship at Wuxi Radio & TV Station, where I interviewed female professionals, I uncovered pervasive discrimination in domains such as medical care, employment, and education. At NYU, I aim to harness interdisciplinary research to examine these contexts and their broader social ramifications, and in my junior or senior year, I envision collaborating with government and nonprofit organizations to champion women's talents and leadership via SCA Theory & Practice.
Human-style rewrite: | New York University Questions
General
Preferred start Fall
term
Primary Campus of New York: Primary campus of Preferred Early Decision
Admission
Notification Plan
School Specific None
Fee Waivers
New York Campus I would like to live on campus at NYU
Housing
Not sending
testing, applying to
Steinhardt or Tisch
No IE
Preferred Testing SAT Reasoning Test, International Baccalaureate Diploma
plan
English Language TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language)
Testing Plan
CSS PROFILE
Understanding
FAFSA I do not have a Social Security Number. Understanding
Why NYU
Shuttling between Founders’ Halland the 25thWest Street, taking field trips to Brooklyn for the Media, Culture and
Communication course, appreciating Come from Awayon Broadway, and bidding farewell to Precollege
companions on Hudson River cruise, I found NYU my destination. Its academic resources, which merge
classroom learning with real-world challenges, and the abundant opportunities both on campus and in New York
City attract me deeply. I am eager to delve further into solving social problems through mother, I was inspired by women who shine both at home and in the workplace. While interviewing female
professionals during my internship at Wuxi Radio & TV Station, I found that women encountered discrimination in
many situations—from medical treatments, to the job market, to education. At NYU, I want to leverage
interdisciplinary research to dissect such context, and social implications. In junior or senior year, I see myself advocating for women’s talent and leadership
with government and nonprofit agencies during SCA Theory & Practice. | For my application to New York University, I specify the following preferences: a general start in the Fall term, with the primary campus in New York aligned to the Preferred Early Decision Admission Notification Plan. There are no school-specific fee waivers, and I express a desire to reside in on-campus housing at NYU. I am not submitting testing scores, as I apply to Steinhardt or Tisch, and I have no International Exchange (IE) involvement. My preferred testing plan includes the SAT Reasoning Test or the International Baccalaureate Diploma, while for English language proficiency, I intend to take the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language). I fully understand the CSS Profile requirements, and regarding the FAFSA, I do not possess a Social Security Number, a detail I also comprehend.
In reflecting on why NYU resonates with me, I recall shuttling between Founders' Hall and 25th West Street, embarking on field trips to Brooklyn for the Media, Culture, and Communication course, savoring performances like "Come from Away" on Broadway, and bidding farewell to my Precollege peers during a Hudson River cruise—all of which solidified NYU as my ultimate destination. The institution's academic resources, which artfully blend theoretical instruction with practical challenges, alongside the wealth of opportunities both within the campus and across New York City, captivate me profoundly. I am keen to advance my exploration of social problem-solving, drawing inspiration from my mother, who exemplifies balance and excellence in both domestic and professional realms. Through my internship at Wuxi Radio & TV Station, where I interviewed female professionals, I uncovered pervasive discrimination in domains such as medical care, employment, and education. At NYU, I aim to harness interdisciplinary research to examine these contexts and their broader social ramifications, and in my junior or senior year, I envision collaborating with government and nonprofit organizations to champion women's talents and leadership via SCA Theory & Practice. | {
"uid": "2018_1470_supp_c5_184_grok",
"essay_id": "2018_1470_supp_c5",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2018,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9977169812450163,
"input_words": 314,
"chosen_words": 246
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Schopenhauer eloquently posits an analogy where the human perception of free will is likened to a placid pond, contentedly contemplating its potential to generate waves within a tumultuous sea, cascade as a river, effervesce and surge within a waterfall, ascend skyward as a fountain, or dissipate through evaporation at a specific temperature. Yet, for the present moment, it elects to remain a tranquil, unperturbed puddle. This philosophical construct, Schopenhauer contends, suggests that free will may be an elaborate fabrication of conscious control that humanity enthusiastically embraces.
Empirical neuroscientific research provides substantial evidence challenging the notion of unbridled free agency. A salient illustration is the seminal Libet Experiment, in which participants were instructed to spontaneously flex their wrists while neural activity preceding movement was meticulously monitored. Libet's findings revealed that the neural processes initiating the conscious decision commenced approximately 0.5 seconds prior to the participant's conscious awareness of that decision. This suggests that decisions may originate at an unconscious level before being consciously recognized, and that retrospective perception can influence the belief attributed to the action. Further experimental evidence demonstrates that even subtle, subliminal priming can significantly influence decision outcomes, which participants subsequently and erroneously attribute to their own free volition. However, it is crucial to note that this body of evidence does not definitively refute the existence of free will but rather necessitates a more profound exploration of its intricate nature and multifaceted dependencies.
Further compelling insights emerge from the examination of neurological disorders:
**Exhibit A – Neurological Disorders:**
Individuals afflicted with Chorea, for instance, manifest involuntary movements that paradoxically present as entirely voluntary actions. Similarly, patients experiencing Tourette's Syndrome exhibit uncontrollable tics and convulsive movements at unpredictable intervals. A particularly striking example is Alien Hand Syndrome, where one hand can perform actions, such as unbuttoning a shirt, seemingly independent of conscious intent, even while the other hand is simultaneously engaged in a contradictory action, such as buttoning.
Human-style rewrite: | Schopenhauer wittily analogizes our presumption of free will as a pond of
water blithely burbling to itself over how it can stir waves (that is, in the sea during a storm),
gush downhill (that is, in the river bed), foam, plunge, and roar (that is, in the waterfall),
rise as a stream into the air (that is, in the fountain), and evaporate and evanesce (that is,
at a certain temperature), but it is, for now, voluntarily remaining as a jolly, ripple-less water
puddle. It seems, Schopenhauer argues, that free will is a confabulation of conscious control
we exuberantly indulge in. Neuroscientific evidence against free agency abounds. The famous Libet Experiment is a
case in point, where Libet asked his participants to flick their wrists spontaneously while he
monitored an indicator of pre-movement brain activity. Libet found that neural activities lead-
ing to the conscious decision already began 0.5 seconds before participants were consciously
aware of it, meaning that decisions originate unconsciously before becoming consciously re-
alized and that retrospective perception influences the belief directing the action. Another
experiment showed that a slight subliminal priming for a specific decision outcome suffices to
dictate participants’ decision outcomes which they blithely misinterpret as a product of their
free volition. This evidence, however, does not conclusively negate Free Will but invites a deeper under-
Page 1
Yanai “Yoyo” Wang Free Will vs. Determinism
Exhibit A – Neurological Disorders:
Patients with Chorea, for example, perform involuntary gestures that appear perfectly volun-
tary. Tourettes’ patients have uncontrollable tics and convulsions at random periods. Patients
with Alien Hand Syndrome can unbutton their shirts while their non-alien hand is buttoning
them. | Schopenhauer eloquently posits an analogy where the human perception of free will is likened to a placid pond, contentedly contemplating its potential to generate waves within a tumultuous sea, cascade as a river, effervesce and surge within a waterfall, ascend skyward as a fountain, or dissipate through evaporation at a specific temperature. Yet, for the present moment, it elects to remain a tranquil, unperturbed puddle. This philosophical construct, Schopenhauer contends, suggests that free will may be an elaborate fabrication of conscious control that humanity enthusiastically embraces.
Empirical neuroscientific research provides substantial evidence challenging the notion of unbridled free agency. A salient illustration is the seminal Libet Experiment, in which participants were instructed to spontaneously flex their wrists while neural activity preceding movement was meticulously monitored. Libet's findings revealed that the neural processes initiating the conscious decision commenced approximately 0.5 seconds prior to the participant's conscious awareness of that decision. This suggests that decisions may originate at an unconscious level before being consciously recognized, and that retrospective perception can influence the belief attributed to the action. Further experimental evidence demonstrates that even subtle, subliminal priming can significantly influence decision outcomes, which participants subsequently and erroneously attribute to their own free volition. However, it is crucial to note that this body of evidence does not definitively refute the existence of free will but rather necessitates a more profound exploration of its intricate nature and multifaceted dependencies.
Further compelling insights emerge from the examination of neurological disorders:
**Exhibit A – Neurological Disorders:**
Individuals afflicted with Chorea, for instance, manifest involuntary movements that paradoxically present as entirely voluntary actions. Similarly, patients experiencing Tourette's Syndrome exhibit uncontrollable tics and convulsive movements at unpredictable intervals. A particularly striking example is Alien Hand Syndrome, where one hand can perform actions, such as unbuttoning a shirt, seemingly independent of conscious intent, even while the other hand is simultaneously engaged in a contradictory action, such as buttoning. | {
"uid": "2023_3323_supp_c1_3387",
"essay_id": "2023_3323_supp_c1",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9906214945493916,
"input_words": 318,
"chosen_words": 273
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
**Research Engagement Affirmation:** Yes
**Geographic Context of Research:** The research endeavor was meticulously executed within the Special Administrative Region of Hong Kong, China.
**Temporal and Methodological Commitment:** My engagement with this research initiative necessitated an approximate weekly commitment of ten hours. This allocation was bifurcated into six hours dedicated to comprehensive literature review and four hours allocated to the meticulous processes of case analysis and scholarly writing. Furthermore, direct observational data was acquired through two distinct field visits to Hong Kong, each spanning two days, to facilitate firsthand experiential understanding.
**Individual Contributions and Responsibilities:** This research project was conceptualized and executed as an independent study under the guidance of a mentor. Consequently, I assumed comprehensive responsibility for all facets of the research process, encompassing conceptualization, execution, analysis, and dissemination.
**Research Mentor Identification:**
* **Name:** Zoey Xu
* **Title:** Ms.
* **Email Address:** Zoey.xu2022@gmail.com
* **Mailing Address:** PO Box 208301. New Haven, CT
**Acknowledged Recognitions for Research:** No formal recognitions, such as publications, presentations, or awards, have been received to date for this research.
**Abstract Submission Confirmation:** A scientific research abstract, titled "Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong (Abstract) Tianyue Kuang.pdf," has been digitally uploaded and appended.
**Additional Abstract Submission:** No further research abstracts are being submitted at this time.
**Scientific Research Abstract:**
**Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong**
**(Abstract)**
**Tianyue Kuang**
This scholarly essay posits that the interconnected phenomena of mass polarization and populism, frequently implicated in the degradation of democratic institutions and normative frameworks, have played a significant causal role in the recent trajectory of autocratization observed in Hong Kong. This trend has been particularly pronounced subsequent to the governmental actions taken against local democratic media outlets and grassroots organizations commencing in 2019. However, this paper distinguishes a novel mechanism of democratic backsliding. In contrast to the established pathways through which polarization and populism have precipitated democratic erosion in Western democracies—primarily through polarized partisan effects within electoral arenas—this research identifies a distinct operational dynamic within the Hong Kong context.
Human-style rewrite: | Have you completed Yes
research with a faculty
member or mentor in an
academic discipline
such as science,
engineering or other
academic (e.g., humanities, social
sciences or
languages)? Please complete the Hong Kong SAR, China
following questions
regarding your research
experience. Where was
the research
conducted? Describe your time I spent roughly 10 hrs collectively each week, 6 hrs of it on reviewing
commitment to this literature and the rest 4 hrs on writing/analyzing cases. I travelled to
Describe your specific This is an independent research guided by a mentor so I have done all
research the works. responsibilities and
contributions
Research Mentor Name Zoey Xu
Research Mentor Title Ms. Research Mentor Email Zoey.xu2022@gmail.com
Research Mentor PO Box 208301. New Haven, CT
Mailing Address
List any recognitions N/A
you have received for
this research (e.g.,
publications,
presentations, awards,
etc.)
If you are submitting a science research abstract, please upload it here. . If you are submitting a science research abstract, please upload it here. "Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong (Abstract) Tianyue
Kuang.pdf"
Would you like to add No
another research
Science research abstract
Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong
(Abstract)
Tianyue Kuang
This essay argues that mass polarization and populism, two common culprits for the
erosions of democratic institutions and norms, have also significantly contributed to the recent
autocratization in Hong Kong following the crackdown on local democratic media and grassroots
organizations since 2019. However, in contrast to the channels through which polarization and
populism have caused democratic backsliding in Western democracies in electoral arenas with
polarized partisan effects, this paper identifies a new mechanism. | **Research Engagement Affirmation:** Yes
**Geographic Context of Research:** The research endeavor was meticulously executed within the Special Administrative Region of Hong Kong, China.
**Temporal and Methodological Commitment:** My engagement with this research initiative necessitated an approximate weekly commitment of ten hours. This allocation was bifurcated into six hours dedicated to comprehensive literature review and four hours allocated to the meticulous processes of case analysis and scholarly writing. Furthermore, direct observational data was acquired through two distinct field visits to Hong Kong, each spanning two days, to facilitate firsthand experiential understanding.
**Individual Contributions and Responsibilities:** This research project was conceptualized and executed as an independent study under the guidance of a mentor. Consequently, I assumed comprehensive responsibility for all facets of the research process, encompassing conceptualization, execution, analysis, and dissemination.
**Research Mentor Identification:**
* **Name:** Zoey Xu
* **Title:** Ms.
* **Email Address:** Zoey.xu2022@gmail.com
* **Mailing Address:** PO Box 208301. New Haven, CT
**Acknowledged Recognitions for Research:** No formal recognitions, such as publications, presentations, or awards, have been received to date for this research.
**Abstract Submission Confirmation:** A scientific research abstract, titled "Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong (Abstract) Tianyue Kuang.pdf," has been digitally uploaded and appended.
**Additional Abstract Submission:** No further research abstracts are being submitted at this time.
**Scientific Research Abstract:**
**Populism, Mass Polarization, and Democratic Erosion in Hong Kong**
**(Abstract)**
**Tianyue Kuang**
This scholarly essay posits that the interconnected phenomena of mass polarization and populism, frequently implicated in the degradation of democratic institutions and normative frameworks, have played a significant causal role in the recent trajectory of autocratization observed in Hong Kong. This trend has been particularly pronounced subsequent to the governmental actions taken against local democratic media outlets and grassroots organizations commencing in 2019. However, this paper distinguishes a novel mechanism of democratic backsliding. In contrast to the established pathways through which polarization and populism have precipitated democratic erosion in Western democracies—primarily through polarized partisan effects within electoral arenas—this research identifies a distinct operational dynamic within the Hong Kong context. | {
"uid": "2023_2876_supp_c3_3030",
"essay_id": "2023_2876_supp_c3",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9998884388357911,
"input_words": 336,
"chosen_words": 272
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
The musical composition "The Greatest" by Lana Del Rey, characterized by its classic rock aesthetic, consistently transports me to an imagined realm. Within this fantastical setting, I embody a mythological entity in ancient Greece, tasked with the profound responsibility of safeguarding sentient life forms. This auditory experience invariably propels me to persistently investigate the boundaries of what is conceivable.
In response to the inquiry regarding the submission of a graded written paper, the affirmative option has been selected. The aforementioned document has been successfully uploaded and is attached herewith.
The provided graded writing paper pertains to POP MART, a company established in 2010 and publicly listed in China in 2020. This entity has meticulously developed an integrated operational platform encompassing the entire supply chain for designer toys, encapsulated by its mission statement: "To light up passion and bring joy." Its sustained strategic initiatives have primarily revolved around livestreaming and co-branding endeavors.
In an increasingly interconnected global landscape, characterized by enhanced fluidity in the transnational movement of goods and capital, nations are experiencing heightened integration, prompting businesses to operate on an international scale. POP MART's growth strategies, which include the diversification of sales channels and the formation of global strategic alliances, have been instrumental in facilitating its expansion and successful entry into the international market.
The diversification of sales channels is a critical component enabling POP MART's products to penetrate global markets. Livestreaming, identified as a primary channel, involves the promotion and sale of products via live broadcasts conducted on platforms such as Facebook. This method allows consumers worldwide to access and purchase POP MART's offerings using mobile phones or computers, leveraging the extensive reach of livestreaming, which engages approximately 1.1 billion viewers. This broad accessibility represents a significant external opportunity for POP MART. This channel effectively drives sales by not only retaining existing clientele but also by attracting new customers.
POP MART's exponential growth is substantially attributed to its astute e-commerce strategy. In 2020, this agile e-commerce approach generated sales totaling $21.7 million, thereby positioning it as the inaugural toy company to surpass the 100 million RMB sales benchmark. Furthermore, in September of that year, POP MART International pioneered its first Pop Toy Show livestream event on Facebook.
Human-style rewrite: | Lana del Rey’s The Greatest. In the style of classic rock, this song never fails in bringing me to a
fantasy land, where I become a mythical figure in ancient Greece, shouldering the mission of
saving sentient beings. When listening to this song, I’m driven to continue exploring the
impossible. Do you wish to submit a
graded written paper at
this time? Yes
Upload the graded written paper here. IE
. PR
Graded Writing Paper Upload
POP MART founded in 2010 and listed in China, 2020, and has established an integrated operation
platform covering the entire supply chain of joint toys, with the slogan "To light up passion and
bring joy”. Its long-term action plan has been livestream and co-branding. By increasing the
freedom of global movement of goods and capital, countries are increasingly integrated and
business start operating on an international scale. The growth strategies, including diversified sales
channel and global strategic alliances, enable POP MART to grow and enter into a global
environment. Diversified sales channels helps POP MART’s products reach international markets. As one of the
main channels, Livestream is to promote and sell products in a live broadcast on Facebook. People
can access by mobile phones or computers to buy POP MART’s products anywhere in the world
because of the large coverage area of live streaming, with about 1.1 billion people watch livestream,
which is an external opportunity for POP MART. The channel drives the sales by maintaining old
customers , but introducing to new customers. POP MART’s explosive growth has been fueled by its
smart e-commerce push. In 2020, the nimble e-commerce strategy leads it reach $21.7 million in
sales, making it the first toy company to break the 100 million RMB record. Moreover, in
September , POP MART international hosted Pop Toy Show livestream on Facebook for the first
time. | The musical composition "The Greatest" by Lana Del Rey, characterized by its classic rock aesthetic, consistently transports me to an imagined realm. Within this fantastical setting, I embody a mythological entity in ancient Greece, tasked with the profound responsibility of safeguarding sentient life forms. This auditory experience invariably propels me to persistently investigate the boundaries of what is conceivable.
In response to the inquiry regarding the submission of a graded written paper, the affirmative option has been selected. The aforementioned document has been successfully uploaded and is attached herewith.
The provided graded writing paper pertains to POP MART, a company established in 2010 and publicly listed in China in 2020. This entity has meticulously developed an integrated operational platform encompassing the entire supply chain for designer toys, encapsulated by its mission statement: "To light up passion and bring joy." Its sustained strategic initiatives have primarily revolved around livestreaming and co-branding endeavors.
In an increasingly interconnected global landscape, characterized by enhanced fluidity in the transnational movement of goods and capital, nations are experiencing heightened integration, prompting businesses to operate on an international scale. POP MART's growth strategies, which include the diversification of sales channels and the formation of global strategic alliances, have been instrumental in facilitating its expansion and successful entry into the international market.
The diversification of sales channels is a critical component enabling POP MART's products to penetrate global markets. Livestreaming, identified as a primary channel, involves the promotion and sale of products via live broadcasts conducted on platforms such as Facebook. This method allows consumers worldwide to access and purchase POP MART's offerings using mobile phones or computers, leveraging the extensive reach of livestreaming, which engages approximately 1.1 billion viewers. This broad accessibility represents a significant external opportunity for POP MART. This channel effectively drives sales by not only retaining existing clientele but also by attracting new customers.
POP MART's exponential growth is substantially attributed to its astute e-commerce strategy. In 2020, this agile e-commerce approach generated sales totaling $21.7 million, thereby positioning it as the inaugural toy company to surpass the 100 million RMB sales benchmark. Furthermore, in September of that year, POP MART International pioneered its first Pop Toy Show livestream event on Facebook. | {
"uid": "2022_2544_supp_c3_2153",
"essay_id": "2022_2544_supp_c3",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2022,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9991276946873069,
"input_words": 368,
"chosen_words": 306
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
**Carnegie Mellon **
As articulated by the esteemed Randy Pausch, author of *The Last Lecture* and a distinguished figure at Carnegie Mellon University, profound personal enhancement is intrinsically linked to interpersonal connection. At Carnegie Mellon, individuals are afforded the unique privilege of engaging in collaborative endeavors with a multifaceted collective of scholars, artists, and innovators. Considering the extensive array of students, faculty, staff, and resources previously accessible to you in your academic journey, explicate instances of your collaborative engagement, whether within or external to traditional classroom settings. Alternatively, delineate the salient lessons derived from past collaborative experiences that are poised to influence your future trajectory. (Maximum 300 words).
The abrupt declaration from our coach, "I'm off!", elicited a collective state of bewildered incapacitation among the team, mirroring my own sentiment. An oppressive, uncomfortable silence permeated the locker room. While the precise sequence of events leading to this juncture remained ambiguous, a stark realization emerged: our coach had developed an escalating irritability, manifesting as palpable displeasure with each training error. Consequently, team motivation plummeted, resulting in a significant decline in morale.
Recognizing the futility of internal recrimination, I initiated private dialogues with each of my teammates. I engaged in a park stroll with Renata, shared afternoon tea with Noelia, and accompanied Alexandra on a school supply excursion. Through these individualized interactions, my teammates candidly articulated their concerns and anxieties. I subsequently conveyed these collective sentiments and proposed solutions to our coach, who, albeit initially hesitant, consented to cultivate a more encouraging team dynamic. Furthermore, I proposed and facilitated a team meeting, culminating in the establishment of a revised, optimized practice regimen. Finally, I instituted monthly communal activities, such as team dinners and movie nights, which fostered a cohesive, familial atmosphere. As team captain, this experience of mediating between the coach and my teammates profoundly refined my comprehension of collaborative dynamics.
Human-style rewrite: | 2019/1/8 The
Carnegie Mellon “When we’re connected to others, we become better people,” said Carnegie Mellon University’s Randy Pausch, author of The
Last Lecture. At Carnegie Mellon you’ll have the opportunity to collaborate with a diverse community of scholars, artists and
innovators. Given the students, faculty, staff and resources that have been available to you as a student, how have you
collaborated with others, in or out of the classroom? Or, what lessons have you learned from working with others in the past,
that might shape your experience in the future? (300 word maximum). “I’m off!” Astounded by the cold words of our coach, I, just like everyone else on the team, was at a loss. The locker room sank into an
awkward, unbearable silence. None of us knew for sure how we had arrived at that point, but one thing had become painfully clear: our coach had become irritable,
disgruntled by every mistake we made in our training. As a result, no one had the motivation to train anymore and morale declined. Knowing that blaming each other would not improve anything, I decided to chat with each of my teammates privately. I took a walk in the
park with Renata, joined Noelia for afternoon tea, shopped for school supplies with Alexandra. In these conversations, they opened up and
shared with me their concerns and anxieties. I expressed their collective feelings and suggestions to our coach, and the coach agreed, at
first reluctantly, to try to adopt a more supportive attitude with the team. I also suggested holding a team meeting, during which we settled
on a new, optimized practice schedule. Finally, I organized monthly group activities such as team dinners and movie nights, which brought
everyone together like a family. As team captain, my experience mediating between the coach and my teammates shaped my understanding of collaboration. | **Carnegie Mellon **
As articulated by the esteemed Randy Pausch, author of *The Last Lecture* and a distinguished figure at Carnegie Mellon University, profound personal enhancement is intrinsically linked to interpersonal connection. At Carnegie Mellon, individuals are afforded the unique privilege of engaging in collaborative endeavors with a multifaceted collective of scholars, artists, and innovators. Considering the extensive array of students, faculty, staff, and resources previously accessible to you in your academic journey, explicate instances of your collaborative engagement, whether within or external to traditional classroom settings. Alternatively, delineate the salient lessons derived from past collaborative experiences that are poised to influence your future trajectory. (Maximum 300 words).
The abrupt declaration from our coach, "I'm off!", elicited a collective state of bewildered incapacitation among the team, mirroring my own sentiment. An oppressive, uncomfortable silence permeated the locker room. While the precise sequence of events leading to this juncture remained ambiguous, a stark realization emerged: our coach had developed an escalating irritability, manifesting as palpable displeasure with each training error. Consequently, team motivation plummeted, resulting in a significant decline in morale.
Recognizing the futility of internal recrimination, I initiated private dialogues with each of my teammates. I engaged in a park stroll with Renata, shared afternoon tea with Noelia, and accompanied Alexandra on a school supply excursion. Through these individualized interactions, my teammates candidly articulated their concerns and anxieties. I subsequently conveyed these collective sentiments and proposed solutions to our coach, who, albeit initially hesitant, consented to cultivate a more encouraging team dynamic. Furthermore, I proposed and facilitated a team meeting, culminating in the establishment of a revised, optimized practice regimen. Finally, I instituted monthly communal activities, such as team dinners and movie nights, which fostered a cohesive, familial atmosphere. As team captain, this experience of mediating between the coach and my teammates profoundly refined my comprehension of collaborative dynamics. | {
"uid": "2018_1500_supp_c0_359",
"essay_id": "2018_1500_supp_c0",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2018,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9998576010403716,
"input_words": 309,
"chosen_words": 308
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
The individual had never anticipated the distinct privilege of an audience with the monarch. "Your Majesty," he articulated, his voice resonating with a muffled yet discernible clarity, "May your clemency be eternally lauded."
The sword served as a perpetual emblem of his nation's benevolence. This esteemed nation, in his formative years within the barracks, was characterized by the Sergeant's unwavering insistence upon intellectual cultivation. "ENLIGHTENMENT," the Sergeant would emphatically declare, "is paramount; EDUCATION is indispensable." Following the assembly and rigorous attention posture of the recruits, the Sergeant would invariably retrieve his notebook, position himself within a modest tent, and expound upon the nation's honorable instigation of conflict with the bordering northern territory, populated, as he described, by barbarians. "They consume fish!" the Sergeant proclaimed, gesticulating with the book in a display of righteous indignation, "Their depravity extends beyond mere consumption; they derive pleasure from the torture of these unfortunate creatures. They would first immerse the animal in boiling water, then excise portions with a knife for consumption, subsequently consuming the remaining raw flesh directly from the still-living organism. The fish, thus incapacitated, could only observe the consumption of its own being by these savages. For the preservation of human civilization's dignity, their eradication is imperative!" Upon hearing this, the soldier experienced profound disbelief; such barbaric cruelty towards a defenseless creature was, unequivocally, an affront to the entirety of human civilization. Consequently, he too became incensed. The soldier now articulates with pride his comprehensive understanding of his nation's profound greatness, having championed the dignity of all humanity. Furthermore, both Charles and this weapon represent manifestations of the nation's magnanimity. He commended its munificence, unsheathing and brandishing the sword once more. "Charge!" the soldier commanded, "Charge!"
"Mom," Charlie interjected, "Mom!"
Human-style rewrite: | He had never thought he would ever be
given the honor of meeting the king. "Your Majesty," his lips parted, his voice muffled but loud,
"Praise be to your mercy.”
The sword always reminded him of his country's kindness to him. The great country! When he was
in the barracks, the Sergeant used to demand that they be educated in the mind. "You need
ENLIGHTENMENT," he used to say, "you need EDUCATION." After ordering them to assemble
and stand at attention, the Sergeant would take out his notebook, sit in a small tent, and tell them
how their country had honorably initiated a war with the country bordering it to the north, which
was full of barbarians. "They eat fish!" said the Sergeant, waving the book in his hand in righteous
indignation, "they are not satisfied with eating, but they take pleasure in torturing the poor animal. They would first scald it in boiling water, then cut off the scalded piece with a knife and eat it. The
rest they would cut right out of it and eat it raw. That fish was still alive at that time and could only
IE watch the meat on its body go into the mouths of those savages. For the dignity of human
civilization, we must destroy them!" Hearing this, the soldier was simply incredulous: it was
undoubtedly a disgrace to the entire human civilization that someone would so cruelly brutalize a
weak animal. And so he too became enraged. The soldier is now proud to say that he is completely aware about the greatness of his nation. It
fought for the dignity of all mankind. Moreover, Charles and this sword are gifts from the country. EV
Praise it for its generosity! He drew the sword and brandished it once more. "Charge!" The soldier yelled, "Charge!"
"Mom," Charlie called, "Mom! | The individual had never anticipated the distinct privilege of an audience with the monarch. "Your Majesty," he articulated, his voice resonating with a muffled yet discernible clarity, "May your clemency be eternally lauded."
The sword served as a perpetual emblem of his nation's benevolence. This esteemed nation, in his formative years within the barracks, was characterized by the Sergeant's unwavering insistence upon intellectual cultivation. "ENLIGHTENMENT," the Sergeant would emphatically declare, "is paramount; EDUCATION is indispensable." Following the assembly and rigorous attention posture of the recruits, the Sergeant would invariably retrieve his notebook, position himself within a modest tent, and expound upon the nation's honorable instigation of conflict with the bordering northern territory, populated, as he described, by barbarians. "They consume fish!" the Sergeant proclaimed, gesticulating with the book in a display of righteous indignation, "Their depravity extends beyond mere consumption; they derive pleasure from the torture of these unfortunate creatures. They would first immerse the animal in boiling water, then excise portions with a knife for consumption, subsequently consuming the remaining raw flesh directly from the still-living organism. The fish, thus incapacitated, could only observe the consumption of its own being by these savages. For the preservation of human civilization's dignity, their eradication is imperative!" Upon hearing this, the soldier experienced profound disbelief; such barbaric cruelty towards a defenseless creature was, unequivocally, an affront to the entirety of human civilization. Consequently, he too became incensed. The soldier now articulates with pride his comprehensive understanding of his nation's profound greatness, having championed the dignity of all humanity. Furthermore, both Charles and this weapon represent manifestations of the nation's magnanimity. He commended its munificence, unsheathing and brandishing the sword once more. "Charge!" the soldier commanded, "Charge!"
"Mom," Charlie interjected, "Mom!" | {
"uid": "2023_2938_supp_c3_3079",
"essay_id": "2023_2938_supp_c3",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2023,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.999632740598447,
"input_words": 288,
"chosen_words": 307
} |
You are an expert essay editor. Rewrite the following AI-generated college application essay to sound authentically human. Preserve all specific details, facts, and the core message. Make the writing feel personal, natural, and genuine — like a real student wrote it.
AI-generated essay:
Describe a pursuit that ignites your intellectual curiosity, whether it be an idea, a book, a project, a cultural endeavor, a work of art, a startup, music, a film, research, an innovation, a question, or another avenue of exploration. Several years ago, I observed that the river near my home was blanketed in a slick, verdant moss, with the water emitting a foul odor. Driven by curiosity, I conducted a comprehensive water quality assessment by examining samples gathered from various segments of the river. During these experiments, I reflected on the frequent sight of local residents laundering their clothes in the river, prompting me to investigate and contemplate the intricate links between human actions and water purity. I became fascinated by the ways in which communities shape their surroundings and how the environment, in turn, responds. This inquiry, centered primarily on the dynamic interplay between humanity and the natural world, introduced me to the discipline of environmental studies, emphasizing an interdisciplinary methodology. I was thrilled to discover that my diverse subjects could converge, equipping me with a robust framework for critical thinking. I have long held the conviction that all elements of the world are interconnected, though in varied manners and through distinct principles—for instance, the phenomenon where a butterfly's wingbeats in Brazil might precipitate a tornado in Texas. Delving into such interconnections by synthesizing knowledge from multiple fields has emerged as my primary passion. My interests have evolved to encompass the pesticide-agriculture dynamic, with my research odyssey commencing through readings on the development and impacts of PCP. These laboratory experiences have deepened my exploration of how human endeavors alter the environment and, reciprocally, how the environment influences human activities.
Human-style rewrite: | Duke Forest is irresistible. As a nature lover, I can't wait to volunteer on trail maintenance days. As someone who
seeks further understanding of human interactions with the environment, I hope to follow in the footsteps of
Clarence Korstian to continue the 85-year study of the childhood and adolescence of Duke Forest, which shows
Duke’s true efforts in pursuing environmental sustainability. To carry on such spirit, I want to participate in the
project of inherited, continuous devotion to environmental science. Moreover, I'm particularly applying inter-disciplinary knowledge, thanks to Duke’s encouraging environment, to analyze the connections
between Brazil's culture and environment, including my favorite sport, soccer. Such opportunities offer me a
chance to learn not only in my respective field but to strive to be the best person I can be. Share a Perspective Response
“What kind of monster are you?” My friends have always been amazed by my taste buds’ impressive adaptability
to various flavors. I never encounter food I dislike when sampling new cuisines. Growing up in Singapore where I
could easily have meals from different countries, I’ve always been infatuated with the idea of embracing cultural
diversity. In 2008, my family moved to Hangzhou. To better acclimate to the new city, my parents took me out to famous
restaurants for local food. The sweet fragrance of stir-fried prawns with Longjing tea were my first contact with
Hangzhou cuisine; I learned that ingredients like Longjing were unique, as they only grow in Hangzhou’s climate. I
learned about the history of dishes, like Shallot Stuffed Pancakes. The close connections between the cuisine
style and regional features fascinated me. | Describe a pursuit that ignites your intellectual curiosity, whether it be an idea, a book, a project, a cultural endeavor, a work of art, a startup, music, a film, research, an innovation, a question, or another avenue of exploration. Several years ago, I observed that the river near my home was blanketed in a slick, verdant moss, with the water emitting a foul odor. Driven by curiosity, I conducted a comprehensive water quality assessment by examining samples gathered from various segments of the river. During these experiments, I reflected on the frequent sight of local residents laundering their clothes in the river, prompting me to investigate and contemplate the intricate links between human actions and water purity. I became fascinated by the ways in which communities shape their surroundings and how the environment, in turn, responds. This inquiry, centered primarily on the dynamic interplay between humanity and the natural world, introduced me to the discipline of environmental studies, emphasizing an interdisciplinary methodology. I was thrilled to discover that my diverse subjects could converge, equipping me with a robust framework for critical thinking. I have long held the conviction that all elements of the world are interconnected, though in varied manners and through distinct principles—for instance, the phenomenon where a butterfly's wingbeats in Brazil might precipitate a tornado in Texas. Delving into such interconnections by synthesizing knowledge from multiple fields has emerged as my primary passion. My interests have evolved to encompass the pesticide-agriculture dynamic, with my research odyssey commencing through readings on the development and impacts of PCP. These laboratory experiences have deepened my exploration of how human endeavors alter the environment and, reciprocally, how the environment influences human activities. | {
"uid": "2018_1498_supp_c0_349_grok",
"essay_id": "2018_1498_supp_c0",
"type": "supp",
"tier": "T20",
"year": 2018,
"gptzero_human_prob": 0.9998459718812214,
"input_words": 280,
"chosen_words": 268
} |
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