id
large_string
author
large_string
title
large_string
selftext
large_string
score
int64
log_score
float64
num_comments
int64
created_at
timestamp[us]
num_tokens
int64
uujq95
B-Kong
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s pretty heavy and the other is a little lighter.
74
4.304065
5
2022-05-21T09:37:45
25
wrx8hz
Nimbian
What does a binary person do on the toilet?
A number 1 or a number 10
6
1.791759
1
2022-08-18T22:45:04
20
15pkrxq
richsponge
A dear friend of mine fell overboard while sailing the other day
Sadly, he couldn't swim, so he quickly drowned. At the funeral service, I gifted his family a life preserver. It's what he would have wanted.
1
0
7
2023-08-13T00:46:40
47
tbkchv
stu-padidiot
Why did the Football Coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
3
1.098612
1
2022-03-11T07:04:23
16
rxpwcy
KitchenAssociation95
a polygamist walks into a bar...
And he says to the bartender, "I'll take five please"
7
1.94591
9
2022-01-06T21:47:20
23
r643rw
Notjojohnson
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
You can't jelly it in where it doesn't belong.
1
0
2
2021-12-01T02:28:51
21
14e3hwv
Pm-me-ur-happysauce
What's the difference between Reddit's decision to kill third-party apps and a bad joke?
With a bad joke, you can still laugh and not be app-solutely disappointed
1
0
2
2023-06-20T06:49:08
34
113r4d5
usrfrnly
Platonic friendships are like chess. They're fun, engaging, and can last a long time...
but someone's always wondering "how many moves until mate?"
73
4.290459
5
2023-02-16T13:52:57
33
184jxlx
portablecabbage
Three World Leaders in a Sauna
(Then) President Barack Obama, Russian "President" Vladimir Putin, and (Former) Mexican President Felipe Calderon are all sitting naked in a Sauna. Their reason? Discussion for the next plan regarding world peace. Somewhere along the line, a very low, barely present vibration is felt all around the room. Obama and Cal...
39
3.663562
6
2023-11-26T20:27:49
406
16upzgh
ibayibay1
Radiohead?
More like radio-diarrrhea-head.
1
0
5
2023-09-28T20:03:35
12
13fgnis
MaxwellsGoldenGun
What's the worst place to murder someone?
A kingdom hall because there's too many witnesses.
0
0
6
2023-05-12T10:03:30
19
1hjnjby
SoNowYouTellMe101
I went down to the local farm supply warehouse and saw a guy loading a wheelbarrow full of manure onto an elevator.
Dude was taking that shit to another level.
31
3.433987
2
2024-12-22T00:49:58
35
sy1wkv
doitforthepolaroid
Equality is overrated
Nobody likes taxes and death more bc theyre equal
2
0.693147
0
2022-02-21T19:22:13
14
t417qx
OverlyWrongGag
A car gets stopped on the road
In a few seconds, the car is surrounded by cameras and journalists and a reporter tells the driver: "Congratulations , you're the 10 000 000 car on this road, you're getting 10 000 000 €!! What will you do with that money?" The male driver thinks for a moment, then replies: "Well, first of all, I'll get my drivers li...
9
2.197225
2
2022-03-01T06:16:34
192
1hdnsnp
Ancanein
I never question my wife's decisions.
If we start going down that path, she might realize I was one of them.
29
3.367296
1
2024-12-13T22:13:12
25
1864n4a
mcrotybatu
Story of the Red Jacked Captain
One day there was a ship's crew. One of the crew woke up the captain by grabbing him and said: "Captain, get up, darn it, the enemy ship is here." The captain said, "Then bring me my red jacket." He said. He put on his red jacket, and then they won the battle. Time passed. The captain is asleep again when a crewman wak...
1
0
1
2023-11-28T19:38:55
277
1bbde6h
porichoygupto
To all my Muslim friends who are observing the holy month of Ramadan….
I’ll buy lunch. You can get dinner.
20
2.995732
7
2024-03-10T15:47:52
24
1h4d9dz
thesircat_r
Two friends went on a trip
One friend said to the other: "I need to go back home right now." The other asked: "Why? We're almost there!" He replied: "I need to take off my wife's panties." "But... are you really that eager already?" "No, they're way too tight on me."
1
0
1
2024-12-01T20:54:29
72
1atx8ps
pennylanebarbershop
Nothing better
He arrived at her apartment for their date, but she was late getting ready. Coming out of the shower with a towel wrapped around body, she asked, "Would you like to see me in my new dress?" "Actually," he said with a smile, "I would like nothing better."
37
3.610918
1
2024-02-18T15:56:39
61
zh9blb
EarthMarsUranus
The world doesn't revolve around you!
You're not in yo momma anymore!
3
1.098612
2
2022-12-09T21:29:58
18
st5ze8
MEDIAN__0
Yo mamma so fat
Ed Sheeran had a stroke trying to sing the shape of her
47
3.850148
18
2022-02-15T15:51:02
18
1am1fzd
botheredandhot
Did you hear about the bulimia convention?
The highlight was when a cake jumped out of a woman.
1
0
1
2024-02-08T17:44:13
22
11li5i6
Penguin-Monk
After a few weeks of trying, my wife just told me she was pregnant.
She has the worst stutter ever.
34
3.526361
2
2023-03-08T01:29:11
23
11tcouq
hypermails
Why banks fail
Why banks failed? A naked & drunk woman boards a cab in America. Driver of the cab, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab Woman: Haven’t you seen a naked woman before? Cabbie: calm down. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me? Moral: This is what most o...
21
3.044522
11
2023-03-17T01:06:01
101
16gyk8i
elpajaroquemamais
The Bills might have lost on Sunday
But they found Rodgers’ Achilles heel
1
0
2
2023-09-12T18:11:55
14
136qg96
ihbarddx
I was born because my mother was hard of hearing...
Every night, when my parents would get into bed, my father would ask "*So... Do you want to go to sleep or what?"* And my mother would say, "*WHAT?"*
5
1.609438
0
2023-05-03T15:24:54
50
yd3sr2
Firegoat1
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar during the town's annual Halloween celebration. "I'd sure like to try out that giant corn maze they set up, but I'm afraid I'd get lost and kill half the day in there," the guy tells the bartender. "There is actually a guide you can hire that will take you through the entire labyrinth in just 60...
154
5.036953
12
2022-10-25T12:36:59
96
v59ubt
pimpmastahanhduece
Water type attacks are ineffective against wind types
and often hurt themselves in confusion.
0
0
4
2022-06-05T09:31:31
15
uk4iro
emo_sloth
A 75 year old man with all white hair is dating a 22 year old girl. His girlfriend is pregnant. After the birth he asks the nurse “well nurse, how did I do?” The nurse replied “you did great she had twins.” The old man responded “ A little snow on the roof and I still got a fire in the furnace”
To This the nurse replied “ Well you may want to clean the filters because those babies are black”
11
2.397895
3
2022-05-07T03:28:02
94
uxt5qn
Miz_EbonySoles
Me to my female friend: The guy I’m seeing has gone missing!
My female friend: Was he wearing a Rolex watch? No. Was he driving a Mercedes’ or Benz? No. Is he solvent/financially successful? No. Then let him stay missing!
0
0
3
2022-05-25T22:41:55
55
vya0cc
BonFall
Why do pirates take such a long time learning the alphabet ?
Because they spent years at C!
185
5.220356
27
2022-07-13T18:18:50
19
14z0cay
Sumol-Ananas
A piece of string walks into a bar...
A piece of string walks into a bar and tries to order a drink. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don’t serve strings here.' Feeling dejected, the string walks outside, twists itself up, parts its top, and walks back into the bar. The bartender squints at the string and says, 'Hey, aren't you the string that was just in ...
1
0
0
2023-07-13T23:44:41
107
vyp50x
Actual_Hyena3394
My boss calls me "A computer"..
So my coworker hired a lawyer to advocate for my rights as "A Person"..
1
0
2
2022-07-14T06:32:18
25
183xeis
hoosyourdaddyo
Who’s the worse singer to give you directions?
John Denver. He thinks the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah Valley are in West Virginia.
170
5.135798
157
2023-11-26T00:04:18
31
183ssd8
Calm_Craft6990
What does Josh Giddey say behind an ice cream truck?
"Oooo, you make my penis giddey like a little kiddy again." And then the bigger brother Miami Dolphins show up (the girl had an older brother who went to the NFL and then found out about this nerd) and then punches him in the face. And then every clapped. Thank you. the perfect reddit joke.
1
0
2
2023-11-25T20:31:35
84
u5pw19
0_69314718056
A very talented rabbit
Alice loves walking through the park and saying hello to anyone she hasn’t met before. One day, she comes across a man with a pet rabbit. She asks if the rabbit can do any tricks, and she is greeted with an amazing performance. Without going into too much detail, the rabbit is easily one of the best performers Alice h...
6
1.791759
2
2022-04-17T15:54:36
318
tpcacl
DakotaDemon2
My dad invented this really cool dance move when I was a child.
I believe people call it the Running Man nowadays.
2
0.693147
0
2022-03-27T04:17:49
24
v5705y
NINTEND0-
What do you call a blonde girl in a suitcase?
I don't know, I think her name was Hailey
0
0
0
2022-06-05T05:50:56
23
sltucp
Deerkiller14
A vegan applied for a job at Burger King…
Unfortunately she didn’t get it, she didn’t meat the requirements.
0
0
5
2022-02-06T10:40:10
24
sxgzjk
hellhoundsden
What did the cannibal mother say as her family entered the coma ward of the hospital.
Eat your vegetables. I know its bad but everytime i hear the vegan teacher say that sentece its all i can think about.
8
2.079442
1
2022-02-21T01:25:42
44
up8jiy
Assassinatitties
This little boy came down to breakfast
and when he got to the table, his mom had ,bacon, eggs and milk on the table, but before he could eat, he had to take out the trash like his mother told him the night before. He was pissed, so he stormed out the door, and on his way to the trash bin he kicked a chicken, and then a pig and a cow. When he got back in the...
4
1.386294
1
2022-05-14T03:32:07
170
1gq1prv
One-Relationship7156
Im hungry
A man walks into a quiet library and heads to the counter, where he whispers to the librarian, "I’d like a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, please." The librarian looks at him, startled, and whispers back, “Sir, this is a library.” The man looks around, nods, then leans in and whispers even softer, “Oh, sorry... I’d ...
1
0
1
2024-11-13T01:47:26
93
179scau
OccamsBeard
People keep telling me I'm going straight to Hell for drinking all the time.
Fortunately the ground stops me every time .
1
0
66
2023-10-17T06:57:32
24
15r0ixj
Nikifuj908
A man brags to his friend that his dog can follow any command.
His friend decides to start with something simple. He picks up a stick, throws it, turns to the dog, and says, "Fetch!" The dog doesn't move. In fact, he looks up at the friend and starts shouting, "Fetch, roll over, sit, stay, eat this, don't eat that! I can't stand being a dog anymore! I'm always being yelled at, al...
1
0
8
2023-08-14T17:06:38
133
193dwc7
No_Database_1160
What is a person who died during NCC camp called?
National Cadet Corpse
1
0
1
2024-01-10T17:34:24
17
xgxxej
InnovativeAccident
Elon Musk and some European guy sat next to eachother on a plane.
Being bored, Musk turned to the European and said; "Lets play a game. You ask me a question, if I dont know the answer, I pay you 500 dollars. Then I ask you a question, if you dont know the answer, you pay me 5 dollars." The European, thinking for a second, said; "sure, but you ask the first question." Elon, more tha...
47
3.850148
6
2022-09-17T21:17:01
221
yx1oqb
Icariu
I just left my position as tire pump salesman
Couldn't handle the pressure...
11
2.397895
5
2022-11-16T18:26:44
15
10p731m
Time-Classroom-2442
What is common between Batman, Will Smith and Putin?
They all attacked a comedian
37
3.610918
6
2023-01-30T16:29:56
16
160w12n
MarcoDanielRebelo
I had a friend who worked in a prison canteen for several years. In fact, he was the one who served the prisoners their meals.
He told me that there were prisoners who were arrogant when they asked him for food. At such times, my friend would always take revenge and before putting the food on their plates, he would ask them: "Do you want to eat here or take out?"
1
0
0
2023-08-25T11:03:14
81
11tyjpr
Finrod_the_awesome
Why do Italian men have mustaches?
Because they look so nice on their mothers.
0
0
1
2023-03-17T17:58:12
17
14fov49
KCT13
Did anyone let that sub know the lockdown is over?
They can come back now
1
0
1
2023-06-22T00:53:01
16
13xpq2c
hi_robb
Luke Skywalker: "You smoke Han Solo?"
Han Solo: "No." Luke Skywalker: "What about Chewbacca?" Han Solo: "No, I don't do that either."
6
1.791759
0
2023-06-01T18:44:34
40
xj8fnc
ijarenm
In which sports do waiters do really well?
Tennis. They are trained to serve well.
7
1.94591
1
2022-09-20T13:10:52
19
v1oqlg
allknowerofknowing
What was Moses's plan?
1. talk to burning bush 2. part Red Sea 3. climb Mount Sinai 4. ????????? 5. PROPHET!!!!
9
2.197225
4
2022-05-31T12:05:56
37
1087gss
madazzahatter
When my friend handed me a peach, I told him I prefer pears.
So he handed me another one...
886
6.786717
39
2023-01-10T11:22:18
24
136c1v9
sudobee
Leo treats women like Christmas Trees…
no use for em after the 25th
7
1.94591
1
2023-05-03T06:04:17
18
zwqwdg
Joker8869
I finally finished installing Windows on my PC last.
It was going well until I placed my PC on the ground. It broke and shattered. Looks like I have to reinstall Windows again.
0
0
1
2022-12-27T21:34:39
37
10xu175
Animeking1108
Yo Mama is so fat, that when Darth Vader saw her...
... he had to fire the Death Star twice on her.
0
0
2
2023-02-09T12:53:26
25
sjvy42
jdybbers
Did you hear about the peanut that walked into the police station?
It claims it was a salted.
8
2.079442
4
2022-02-03T22:11:35
21
1bi69sw
icemage27
Why did Beethoven kill all of his chickens?
They were going Bach, Bach, Bach!
78
4.356709
13
2024-03-19T00:01:15
19
199a9a6
Major_Independence82
A nurse is walking down a corridor and finds a thermometer in her pocket.
She realizes some asshole has her pen.
139
4.934474
9
2024-01-17T22:48:45
24
15mitdw
MODAREA
Where can I find a friend?
I’m asking for a friend
1
0
3
2023-08-09T15:40:52
13
1bkdx8d
WatchHores
how does Hans Kristian Graebener tie his shoes?
Q- How does Hans Kristian Graebener tie his shoes? A- In little knotsies or, in little nazis
1
0
0
2024-03-21T18:41:06
40
uj2od2
Basil_9
I’m writing a book where I document and rate all my poops
It’s called my log log
7
1.94591
7
2022-05-05T17:34:21
20
13cn5rz
Merlins_Owl
Why is Texas called the Lone Star state?
Because you can’t leave a zero stars rating
5,979
8.696009
437
2023-05-09T11:38:52
18
zdegrj
regwregarvfse
Putin dies and goes to hell. After a while, he's given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: \-Is Crimea ours? \-Yes, it is. \-And the Donbas? \-Also ours. \-Kyiv? \-We got that too. Satisfied, he drinks and asks: \-Thanks. How much do I owe you? \-5 euros, please.
4,016
8.298042
191
2022-12-05T18:09:20
95
14rcbds
GastropodSoup
I want to watch Hamlet on a streaming platform. Does anyone know which one it's on?
Is it Tubi or not Tubi?
62
4.127134
10
2023-07-05T14:30:46
29
ubvwwz
Prudent_Ratio1827
Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost
They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation. He asks the first guy wha...
3
1.098612
8
2022-04-25T21:23:52
153
zwni8r
BabyRayLiyoda
If I got a buck for every deer joke that I've told...
I'd have a lot of doe...
25
3.218876
4
2022-12-27T19:17:35
22
y3fj9m
Torn_2_Pieces
Why did the Titanic sink?
Chuck Norris put some ice in his drink.
2
0.693147
1
2022-10-14T00:56:35
15
17o26hv
Grugahuga
Exhausted people really don’t like fans
It makes them feel winded
1
0
3
2023-11-05T02:25:40
15
17bl3ld
AnimatorNr1
So i just came back from the ER..
I don’t want to bore you with details, but the “Dyson Ball Cleaner” is a dangerously misleading name.
1
0
11
2023-10-19T14:55:56
34
15vxvdi
zeng434zung
World's shortest joke
An old woman died when she was young.
1
0
1
2023-08-20T01:34:11
13
srr2b6
Dependent_Attitude_5
Hehehe anime Karen
So a man gets into an argument with a woman and the man calls the woman a Karen, the woman responds with “I can’t be a Karen, what Karen likes anime” and the man then responds with “Karen Yeager”
0
0
1
2022-02-13T19:43:23
52
1ey2lmx
Rqpidily
Have you tried Ethiopian food?
No, but neither have they
1
0
2
2024-08-21T22:11:19
13
v2y4tc
Fieos
Amber Heard
the verdict, but still thinks she's the punchline.
0
0
2
2022-06-02T02:11:05
15
t6oxvr
nothinlefttochoose
I was pulled over by a cop earlier today.
“Do you know why I've pulled you over, sir?” "No officer.” “Well" he said "this doesn't happen very often, but I've been following you for the last ten miles or so... and your driving is exemplary! Correct road positioning, perfect observation and due regard for other road users.” “Thanks very much, officer!" I said...
170
5.135798
4
2022-03-04T18:03:54
95
uxt230
Superd3n
The Pope goes to New York and gets picked up at the airport by a limousine.
When he sees the car, he motions to the driver and says: "Do you mind if I ask you a favor?" "A favor for the Pope??" exclaims the driver, "of course - anything!" "You know, I hardly ever get to drive, and I'd really like it if I got to drive now. Would you please let me?" The thought of the Pope getting behin...
5,207
8.557759
115
2022-05-25T22:36:47
417
z57gab
Gil-Gandel
" 'Pictures at an Exhibition' was nothing special, I don't see why people make me out to be some kind of genius for writing it"
\-- Modest Mussorgsky
3
1.098612
10
2022-11-26T13:22:11
37
su6qcw
Severe-Draw-5979
A close friend convinced me that I needed to restart my furnace...
...talk about gaslighting!
0
0
0
2022-02-16T21:19:33
20
snie9i
mbfos
Little Ken Fok grew up working hard in his father’s restaurant in China
Every day before school he would get up at 6am and help prepare the dishes for that days lunch before coming home from school at 4pm to help with the evening shift by preparing and serving customers. He would make Spicy crab cakes, shredded pork and tofu. He would work until midnight and then repeat the next day. Ken w...
3
1.098612
0
2022-02-08T11:51:41
269
1cjsl9f
DBoaty
I used to get so irritated at my kid for not picking up the ice cubes that fall on the kitchen floor but as a parent you've got to pick your battles.
Now it's all water under the fridge.
36
3.583519
2
2024-05-04T05:07:39
43
sqprjx
ChewyNutCluster
A termite walks into a bar and asks...
"Is the bar tender here?"
52
3.951244
4
2022-02-12T11:43:50
17
ukebso
YZXFILE
A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.
Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London. Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat. Th‌‌e onl‌‌y empt‌‌y sea‌‌t wa‌‌s direct...
1,433
7.267525
65
2022-05-07T14:21:19
1,303
zmmq99
LarryMoCurley
Scene (and heard) in the doctor's office.
Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! You have to help me! I keep dreaming that I'm a deck of cards!" Doctor: "I'll deal with you later."
23
3.135494
3
2022-12-15T14:42:36
46
x67i27
[deleted]
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
67
4.204693
3
2022-09-05T05:01:35
21
13roawz
Empereor_Norton
I saw a elderly woman in Walmart crying
She told me she had lost all her money for groceries. I felt bad for her so I gave her $40 from the $200 I found laying in the parking lot.
631
6.447306
28
2023-05-25T17:47:38
46
175o6aq
Garbage-Powerful
A nun was having a bath
when there was a knock at the door. "Who's there?" she said. "The blind man," came the reply. Realising that he couldn't see her she said, "Well, Come in." The door opened. "Nice tits love" he said. "Now where do you want the blinds?"
1
0
0
2023-10-11T20:34:44
72
1fk5shn
satan___666_
I’ve been banned, excluded, restricted
But I never been accepted.
1
0
1
2024-09-18T22:41:28
15