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<gasp> Good news, everyone!
<sigh> The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges.
<gasp> Wait, that's not good news at all.
<sigh> Yes, but they won't listen.
Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain.
<gasp> Suddenly you've gone too far!
Listen to me, you pompous frauds!
If I'm going down, I'm taking you ALL with me!
Dean Vernon, I know the truth.
It was YOU driving your hover car that night, not your horse!
Dean Epsilon, I know ALL about your Department of Pool Boy studies.
And Dr. Wernstrom... <groan> WERNSTROM!
<chuckle> Oh, happy birthday!
And YOU, Coach Smalley, or should I say... Coach Hairpiece?
Huh?
<gasp> Oh!
<sigh> What a pleasure it is to see my lifetime of accomplishment summed up in a three-minute film.
<sigh> My best years are behind me.
<sigh> So much left undone.
<sigh> So little time.
<sigh> My life is over.
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