| # “You Have To Be Authentic. Every. Single. Day” | |
| #### A valuable lesson garnered at a social event | |
| _(A sort of public diary entry cross-posted from my blog)_ | |
| Ten months or so I had the merit of attending a friend’s wedding. | |
| It was quite a glamorous affair on account of the prestige of the bride’s family. | |
| The Friday night dinner which preceded the wedding was held in just about the fanciest hotel in the city. There were bodyguards. Politicians. It was quite an interesting _milieu_. | |
| Despite our un-eminent station in society (I am a marketing writer; a friend in our contingent is a free-living musician) the groom kindly invited us to both the preceding dinner, the wedding itself, and a party after (the point of this blog post isn’t to brag about being invited to this wedding, so although there were more interesting details to the affair, I will not be embellishing beyond what’s necessary.) | |
| This wedding was shortly before my gallbladder surgery when beer and my digestive system were still on good terms. | |
| My wedding companion and I arrived a little early and had a drink in the hotel lobby. The nice thing about it was that after one small beer I loosened up about the idea of being in a room with people I knew from watching the news and began to get into the groove of just enjoying the evening. | |
| After some time we were seated at a table by the entrance. Next to us are seated an attractive couple, probably ten years older than us, who are part of the travelling delegation from what I could tactfully describe as the famous half of this couple that necessitated aforementioned security. | |
| Seeing these two seated at the “kiddy’s table,” by the door, I instantly felt a bit embarrassed for them. What kind of short straw did they draw to be seated next to _us_? | |
| Nevertheless, my anxiety and pity were both unfounded. | |
| The couple were warm and friendly and — despite clearly being very affluent — had no airs or graces and were surprisingly down to earth. If they were bummed about the seating arrangement and not being around more important adults, well, they did a great job of disguising their feelings. I got talking to the husband during the meal and we shared a shot of _arak._ | |
| The gentleman, it turned out, was a successful diamond trader from New York City. We listen to the same Rabbi on the internet. So we had enough at least, to start up a cordial conversation about. | |
| At some point — perhaps after the first shot of _arak_ had sunk in — the guy decided to bestow his best life advice upon me. Perhaps I had asked for the key to his success (after five minutes this would have been uncharacteristic!). Maybe we had impressed upon him the difficult grittiness of making a living in Israel and he had sporadically decided to offer it. Maybe none of those things were segues. I can’t recall. But it doesn’t really matter. | |
| **The secret to success in life, he claimed, was to be authentic.** But he didn’t stop there. | |
| **You have to be authentic, he insisted, every single day.** And this is the part that has stood with me. | |
| As he described it, it wasn’t good enough to have moments or flashes of authenticity or to be on a run of it and then stop. | |
| No. Authenticity, he claimed, was sort of like a chain. If you let up, even for a day or two, the chain is broke and you’re back to square one — or at least you’ve muddied your messaging because those following you no longer know what’s the true you and what’s a front. | |
| He emphasized this far more than the value of authenticity itself, which of course is much more commonplace advice. | |
| As is sometimes the case, this comment — that perhaps was meant as as throwaway — has stuck with me ever since (and it’s always those small remarks that linger, good or bad). | |
| For some reason, I decided — viscerally, subconsciously — that this advice spoke to me on some deep level. | |
| I don’t expend mental energy trying to parse and unpack every nugget of wisdom I receive. But for some reason I felt an instantaneous attachment to this one. And I still feel that today trying to verbally unpack it. | |
| That’s all I really to say for now. | |
| In the intervening months since, I’ve tried to be a little bit braver about being authentic in my online writing. I’m always wary about where the mark is between sharing enough and over-sharing. | |
| To give an example: | |
| I wrote a piece today in which I offered my true feelings about _hasbara_ (amateur pro-Israel advocacy). I think that _hasbara_ is a colossal waste of time and energy even though I’m virtually certain that my views are going to offend a couple of friends who are involved in the world. Nevertheless, if I were going to write a piece about the things that I would like to see change in Israel, it would be unauthentic to not include that. | |
| Likewise, and despite undoubtedly seeming like a Biblical loon to some who read the piece, I penned a piece for my blog earlier outlining my day’s investigation into the burning issue of [how much wine, precisely was consumed during the times of the Bible. ](https://www.danielrosehill.co.il/myblog/some-information-about-biblical-wine-in-ancient-israel/)It was authentic to talk about a subject that has deeply interested me for some time (the society and diet of the Ancient Israelites!) | |
| So these are the little baby steps I have been taking, trying to push through small measures of reluctance on my part to skirt around my true feelings — or, more commonly to frame them euphemistically, which is, ultimately, a form of intellectual dishonestly. | |
| However pop-psychology-like as this will sound, I don’t think that the journey towards being as authentic as one can possibly be done overnight. | |
| I know, intuitively, that it’s a process. And I also know, intuitively, that — having a terrible habit of bottling up my feelings — I have a very long way to go. | |
| I still struggle to think, exactly, how I will need to make sure that I am as authentic, or more so, one day after the next. | |
| That I don’t let up. Even for a single day (as the advice demanded). But I guess that that meditation can be part of the journey. And perhaps some sort of daily meditation into who I am and what I hope to achieve is the answer to giving that process the guidance and strategy it probably needs to succeed. | |
| **Do you have insight into what being authentic every day might mean?** | |