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Yes, it was just twenty, Valancy reflected, since she had first been
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twitted with her loverless condition. She remembered the bitter moment
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perfectly. She was just nine years old and she was standing alone on
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the school playground while the other little girls of her class were
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playing a game in which you must be chosen by a boy as his partner
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before you could play. Nobody had chosen Valancy—little, pale,
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black-haired Valancy, with her prim, long-sleeved apron and odd,
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slanted eyes.
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“Oh,” said a pretty little girl to her, “I’m so sorry for you. You
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haven’t got a beau.”
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Valancy had said defiantly, as she continued to say for twenty years,
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“I don’t _want_ a beau.” But this afternoon Valancy once and for all
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stopped saying that.
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“I’m going to be honest with myself anyhow,” she thought savagely.
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“Uncle Benjamin’s riddles hurt me because they are true. I _do_ want to
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be married. I want a house of my own—I want a husband of my own—I want
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sweet, little fat _babies_ of my own—” Valancy stopped suddenly aghast
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at her own recklessness. She felt sure that Rev. Dr. Stalling, who
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passed her at this moment, read her thoughts and disapproved of them
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thoroughly. Valancy was afraid of Dr. Stalling—had been afraid of him
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ever since the Sunday, twenty-three years before, when he had first
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come to St. Albans’. Valancy had been too late for Sunday School that
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day and she had gone into the church timidly and sat in their pew. No
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one else was in the church—nobody except the new rector, Dr. Stalling.
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Dr. Stalling stood up in front of the choir door, beckoned to her, and
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said sternly, “Little boy, come up here.”
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Valancy had stared around her. There was no little boy—there was no one
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in all the huge church but herself. This strange man with the blue
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glasses couldn’t mean her. She was not a boy.
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“Little boy,” repeated Dr. Stalling, more sternly still, shaking his
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forefinger fiercely at her, “come up here at once!”
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Valancy arose as if hypnotised and walked up the aisle. She was too
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terrified to do anything else. What dreadful thing was going to happen
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to her? What _had_ happened to her? Had she actually turned into a boy?
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She came to a stop in front of Dr. Stalling. Dr. Stalling shook his
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forefinger—such a long, knuckly forefinger—at her and said:
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“Little boy, take off your hat.”
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Valancy took off her hat. She had a scrawny little pigtail hanging down
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her back, but Dr. Stalling was short-sighted and did not perceive it.
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“Little boy, go back to your seat and _always_ take off your hat in
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church. _Remember_!”
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Valancy went back to her seat carrying her hat like an automaton.
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Presently her mother came in.
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“Doss,” said Mrs. Stirling, “what do you mean by taking off your hat?
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Put it on instantly!”
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Valancy put it on instantly. She was cold with fear lest Dr. Stalling
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should immediately summon her up front again. She would have to go, of
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course—it never occurred to her that one could disobey the rector—and
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the church was full of people now. Oh, what would she do if that
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horrible, stabbing forefinger were shaken at her again before all those
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people? Valancy sat through the whole service in an agony of dread and
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was sick for a week afterwards. Nobody knew why—Mrs. Frederick again
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bemoaned herself of her delicate child.
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Dr. Stalling found out his mistake and laughed over it to Valancy—who
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did not laugh. She never got over her dread of Dr. Stalling. And now to
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be caught by him on the street corner, thinking such things!
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Valancy got her John Foster book—_Magic of Wings_. “His latest—all
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about birds,” said Miss Clarkson. She had almost decided that she would
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go home, instead of going to see Dr. Trent. Her courage had failed her.
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She was afraid of offending Uncle James—afraid of angering her
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mother—afraid of facing gruff, shaggy-browed old Dr. Trent, who would
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probably tell her, as he had told Cousin Gladys, that her trouble was
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entirely imaginary and that she only had it because she liked to have
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it. No, she would not go; she would get a bottle of Redfern’s Purple
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Pills instead. Redfern’s Purple Pills were the standard medicine of the
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Stirling clan. Had they not cured Second Cousin Geraldine when five
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doctors had given her up? Valancy always felt very sceptical concerning
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the virtues of the Purple Pills; but there _might_ be something in
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them; and it was easier to take them than to face Dr. Trent alone. She
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would glance over the magazines in the reading-room a few minutes and
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then go home.
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Valancy tried to read a story, but it made her furious. On every page
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was a picture of the heroine surrounded by adoring men. And here was
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she, Valancy Stirling, who could not get a solitary beau! Valancy
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slammed the magazine shut; she opened _Magic of Wings_. Her eyes fell
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on the paragraph that changed her life.
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“_Fear is the original sin_,” wrote John Foster. “_Almost all the evil
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in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of
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something_. It is a cold, slimy serpent coiling about you. It is
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horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading.”
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Valancy shut _Magic of Wings_ and stood up. She would go and see Dr.
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Trent.
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