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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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lurkingStill
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reddit
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Hi OP,
Let me start by telling you that your feelings are completely legitimate, understandable, and NTA.
I am the youngest of four kids; my oldest brother (R) is severely special-needs and we have grown up helping to take care of him. My mom had R at 17 years old, and for a baby that wasn’t expected to make it past 8 years old, he’s now going on 34 because of the love and care we all devoted to him.
I love my family. I love my brother with all that I am. I will be there for him until the day I die. All of this is because my family is a *unit*, because it is *our own choice* to make sure he’s happy and healthy. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy: it’s taken me 10 years to be able to get ahold of my anxiety when he has a seizure, for instance. I still struggle, but I’m happy to help and learn and talk to people about it along the way.
My parents - for our entire lives - worked around *our* schedules. If we had gymnastics or softball or a choir concert, one parent would take turns to stay home and the other would go attend. They would ask us “what are your plans tonight?” And if we didn’t have any, they would kindly ask if they could go out to dinner or a movie or anything and can we take care of R for a couple hours? Which we are all happy to do. If we have plans, then they’ll say “Ok, go and have fun!” It wasn’t like “You need to do this and you need to be here for him.”
I now “work” for my brother through the State, and am licensed to provide the care he needs. Because I want to if my parents can’t someday.
That’s the difference here, OP. I made the choice to be there, to take care of him when my parents need a break. But I also have the choice to say no. And you should have had that choice too. Let me tell you, **it’s not for everybody and that’s okay.**
Let me repeat that:
##Taking care of another human being - especially one that has special needs - is not for everybody, *and that’s okay*.
If any one of us kids didn’t want that responsibility, we would have gotten a home care provider through the many many resources my State offers for people who need it. I’m talking about the good home care aides and nurses who wake up every day and say “I get to see my patient today;“I can’t wait to spend time with so-and-so tonight”. The ones who went to training took the time to get educated, licensed, and signed up with the understanding that they’d be helping take care of someone where others can’t.
So knowing all this, I want you to appreciate the choice you finally got to make **now**. And I want you to be assured that it was the right one for you in this point of your life.
I want you to enjoy college, try new things and fail and try again. Find that thing that makes you wake up and say “I can’t wait to do this today”. That’s where you should be because it will be your choice; no guilt, no shame. Go study, grow, learn to do the thing that others weren’t meant to do.
Knowing you love your sister and want the absolute best for her - and knowing that you probably aren’t the one to provide that for her - is honestly a very selfless thing; it will save you and her a lot of resentment. But I also hope you are able to forgive your family - the hand they were dealt was a tough one, and I’m sorry they handled it the way they did. That wasn’t your sister’s fault and it wasn’t your fault.
I hope this helps bring perspective and some comfort.
|
[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
|
pi3b0
|
reddit
|
Just regarding college. I would recommend staying in the state you are in. In-state tuition is a *lot* cheaper.
Try to get a job as soon as you can.
|
[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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jcinto23
|
reddit
|
1) I am so so happy that the rest of your family is rallying around you.
2) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure that your grandad and you are covered legally, you do NOT want your parents trying to get the police involved with a bullshit kidnapping claim or something similar.
I'd recommend a lawyer to be honest, your parents sound like the kind of people to go nuclear over this, if a lawyer isn't an option maybe go to the school with your grandad, explain the situation and ask if they have any resources / a councellor who can help point you to resources
|
[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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illidra
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reddit
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OP, your grandpa is dope. I know other people have already suggested a therapist, so I won't parrot them. Just remember to take care of yourself.
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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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Planeswalking101
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reddit
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I've never clicked on a post as fast as when I saw this update. I am both so glad and sorry for how things turned out. I'm glad your extended family is taking such good care if you but so sorry your parents suck so much.
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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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ioriana
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reddit
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This is pretty irresponsible of your parents to be doing. There is a lot of help out there for ASD children. Your parents can get ABA therapist (by going on what you are saying, they should get at least 40 hours a week) they can also get respite care as well (This can be as little as 10 hours a month, to as much as 20 hours a week depending on insurance and state).
I believe hating your sister is the wrong thing here. She has no say in the way she is. Your hate should be focused on your parents as they forced you into a bad situation. There is a lot of care to be had out there, yet they put off handling a stress situation on someone who did not agree/nor want to handle it.
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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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Nekotana
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reddit
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Thank you for updating. If you ever need kind words from a mom, r/momforaminute is there.
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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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azvko1
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ecwoodard
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reddit
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Made me cry. Thank you for updating. Very grateful for your extended family.
Your parents might keep doing flybys/ guilt trips. Hang in there. Print out this update, keep it with you, and read it over when you need.
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[{"content": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?\n\nI'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n\n\n\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "metadata": {"_additional_fetch_params": null, "_comments_by_id": null, "_fetched": false, "all_awardings": [], "allow_live_comments": true, "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "Renegadesrule33", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "t2_3c816wqd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": null, "body_html": null, "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "category": null, "clicked": false, "collapsed": null, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_limit": 2048, "comment_sort": "confidence", "comment_type": null, "content_categories": null, "contest_mode": false, "controversiality": null, "created": 1552322462.0, "created_utc": 1552322462.0, "depth": null, "discussion_type": null, "distinguished": null, "domain": "self.AmItheAsshole", "downs": 0, "edited": 1552376988.0, "gilded": 22, "gildings": null, "hidden": false, "hide_score": false, "id": "azvko1", "is_created_from_ads_ui": false, "is_crosspostable": false, "is_meta": false, "is_original_content": false, "is_reddit_media_domain": false, "is_robot_indexable": true, "is_self": true, "is_submitter": null, "is_video": false, "likes": null, "link_flair_background_color": "#ffd635", "link_flair_css_class": "", "link_flair_richtext": [], "link_flair_template_id": "47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4", "link_flair_text": "UPDATE", "link_flair_text_color": null, "link_flair_type": "text", "link_id": null, "locked": false, "media": null, "media_embed": null, "media_only": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t3_azvko1", "no_follow": false, "num_comments": 1970, "num_crossposts": 8, "num_reports": null, "over_18": false, "parent_id": null, "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "pinned": false, "pwls": 7, "quarantine": false, "removal_reason": null, "removed_by": null, "removed_by_category": null, "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 72778, "score_hidden": null, "secure_media": null, "secure_media_embed": null, "selftext": "I'm back like I said I would be,. My [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/) got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.\n\nWell, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.\n\nI started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is \"supposed\" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a \"caretaker\" that doesn't exist.\n\nSuffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week \"making up for the time i've lost.\" Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.\n\nWell, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying \"You were put here to be her caretaker\". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.\n\nToday will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.\n\nI won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.\n\nSo, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.\n\n​\n\n​\n\nEdit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.\n\n​\n\nLate edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. \n\n​\n\nWe just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.\n\n​\n\nThank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)", "selftext_html": "<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\"md\"><p>I'm back like I said I would be,. My <a href=\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/awyi8k/aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap_sister/\">original post</a> got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.</p>\n\n<p>Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.</p>\n\n<p>I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.</p>\n\n<p>Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.</p>\n\n<p>Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.</p>\n\n<p>Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.</p>\n\n<p>I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.</p>\n\n<p>So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Thank you all so much! I wish I could respond to every single one of you but my lunch only lasts so long. I'll update tonight how the move out went but until then, thank you all. I want to say that your support has been amazing and your kindness means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Late edit: Wow, I never imagined my story would reach the popularity it did. I know it's kinda cliche and i've said it a thousand times but thank you all. </p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>We just got back from moving my things out of my parents house. Every thing I wanted to take my grandpa and uncle helped move and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my birth certificate, social security card, and every other document and record I could think of. My parents were quiet the whole time I was there. Shorty after I arrived my dad left with my sister and my mom only hovered over us silently as me moved. It took a while but as we left she broke down and told me she loved me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye, and that was it. Even now I sit here and think if she really meant it. After this whole week of her not saying anything she waited till the end. I hope she meant it. Right now though, I think I just need to look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect. I hope so.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>Thank you all for the advice and love. It's been amazing and i'm glad that through this experience I at least got some positive out of this mess. Will I come back? I don't know. If something happens and you guys still want an update i'll maybe come around again. But for now I'm going to move on. For all those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you, and I hope to see you on the other side. See you space cowboy's :)</p>\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->", "send_replies": true, "spoiler": false, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_subscribers": 24050251, "subreddit_type": "public", "suggested_sort": "top", "thread_id": "t3_azvko1", "thumbnail": "", "title": "UPDATE, AITA for despising my mentally handicap sister?", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 72778, "upvote_ratio": 0.96, "url": "https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/azvko1/update_aita_for_despising_my_mentally_handicap/", "user_reports": [], "view_count": null, "visited": false, "wls": 7}, "role": "Renegadesrule33"}]
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"I understand your predicament, for I also come from a similar situation; my older brother has autis(...TRUNCATED)
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