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behave!"
He wedged a bulldog-tipped toe into the rug and looked at me from under
his bushy brows.
"Helen?" he asked. "How's Helen?"
"Iroquois!" I told him grimly.
"Come again?"
"After your scalp. Didn't you ever hear the adage about Satan's old
homestead having no fury like a woman left out on the limb? If you bump
into Helen MacDowell, pal, you better fly, not run, to the nearest
cavern."
Hank cracked his knuckles in misery.
"Couldn't do nothin' else, Jim. Couldn't marry her. 'T'warn't
logical."[2]
[Footnote 2: In "The Scientific Pioneer," AMAZING STORIES for March,
1940 Horse-sense Hank refused to marry Helen MacDowell because, with
his uncanny power to foretell the future, Hank knew their baby would be
a chorus girl when it grew up. Hank is allergic to chorines. ED.]
"So," I reminded him, "aren't females. But never mind that, Hank. Let's
get down to brass tacks. The reason I wanted to see you "
"I know. About the way them men's been disappearin'," he said. He rose
and walked to my radio set. "'Pears like you oughta have this turned
on. With all the trouble, seems like you'd be listenin' for news
bulletins."
"It's busted," I said. "It hasn't worked for weeks."
"No?" He shifted it around, peered into the maze of coils, tubes, wires
and utter incomprehensibles that comprise a modern radio set.
"Hmm. Never see'd the innards o' one o' these things afore.
Interestin', ain't it?"
His lean fingers began weaving among the gleaming entrails. A tiny
crease appeared over his right eye. He muttered as he pushed and
jiggled and explored.
"This one goes there; that one goes there. 'Pears like Well, I'll be
durned!"
Something clicked, and his fingers made a twisting motion. He grinned
at me.
"How d'you make 'er talk, Jim?"
"She doesn't. She's a deaf mute. But that vernier on the left "
He turned it. My long-silent radio went,
"Phweeee-gwobble-gwobble!" and became coherent. Strains of hot jive
assaulted my eardrums. I moaned.
"Hank, do you know everything? The repairman who looked at it said it
would never work again. He said "
"He jest wanted to sell you a new one," consoled my friend. "I kinda
figgered as how adjustin' that little hunk o' metal would fix it. You
see "
But I never got to see. For at that moment my eyes went wobbly all of
a sudden. Out of nowhere came a brilliant light, flooding the room
with blinding intensity. There was no sound; just that sharp, bright
glare and my arms tingled with a sort of electric vibration.
And as I blinked, the light coalesced into a form! It was, roughly, the
form of a man and from where its head should be there came a strange,
strained, hollow voice.
"Ombiggs!"
Then the light flickered, and was gone, and with it was gone the voice
and the last vestige of my self-control. I let loose one squawk out
loud! and dived for the darkness and comparative security of the
region under the couch!
Not so Hank. He stood stockstill in the middle of the floor. I yelled
at him,
"Hank, did you do that? Did you touch something on the radio?"
There was a faint, puzzled look on his face.
"Nope, Jim. I didn't do nothin'. Did you see him, too?"
"I saw him. Whoever he was. But who how?"
"I dunno." Slowly. "Leastwise, the only thing I can think of is so durn
unlikely Hey, listen!"
The radio music had stopped suddenly. The voice of the announcer was