Search is not available for this dataset
text
stringlengths
0
149M
one half of all materials ordered, sir, but I can't take a half of
seventeen. Gorman's supposed to get one third, and Henny's supposed to
get one ninth. Our problem is how are we going to divide them?"
Grimper said, "Er aren't you gentlemen making much ado about nothing?
The answer seems to be very simple. Just open the crates and distribute
the tools in their proper proportions."
And he beamed at Old Mac triumphantly. But his grin was short-lived.
Gorman's sniff was one of pure disdain.
"Didn't you hear Henny say them tools come in sets?" he snorted. "I'd
look pretty, wouldn't I, Mister, screwin' a loose nut with one third of
a screwdriver? And Henny'd go to town measurin' rivet-precision with
one ninth of a caliper!"
Old MacDonald guffawed loudly.
"I'm afeared he's gawt ye there, Grimper. Hank, ha' ye any idee whut to
do?"
Cleaver had been scratching his cranium; now he said thoughtfully,
"We-e-ell, mebbe I have, Mr. Mac. Joe, c'n you borry another set o'
them tools from Supplies?"
Gorman said swiftly, "I can, but I won't. I want my full share of the
order, Hank. I don't want no debit against my department in Supplies "
"There won't be. But let's suppose, f'r the moment, you have borryed
a set. Now how many sets would you have?"
"Why why, eighteen, of course."
"Sure. Now, Mike, you git half o' them sets. Nine, right? An' Joe, you
git one third, or six; satisfied? Bill, your department gits one ninth
o' the order or two complete sets. Okay? Well, boys, there you are.
Evabuddy happy?"
"Everybody but me!" stormed Joe Gorman. "I've got a set of tools
charged against me in Supplies! That idea's all right for these lugs,
maybe, but I got my rights! I "
"Now, take it easy," soothed Hank. "Two an' six an' nine is oney
seventeen, Joe. They's still one set left over. So now you can return
that one to Supplies!"
"Well, I'll be damned!" said Mulvaney.
And on that note of sincere (if profane) admiration, the department
heads disappeared to divvy up the disputatious shipment. With an air of
"I told you so!" Old Mac turned to a rather acid-looking Grimper.
"Y' see, Mr. Grimper? Indeespenseeable, that's whut he is! Ye maun do
weel f'r to reconsider this motter "
But there was a streak of mule six feet tall and two feet wide in the
Federal man. He sniffed down his long, thin nostrils and studied Hank
through his pince-nez with detached interest.
"Hrrumph!" he hrrumphed. "Very interesting, but not at all new, you
know. Hardly mathematics at all, in fact. A numerical paradox based on
an old Arabian legend, if I am not mistaken "
I did what Flatbushers would call a "slow berl." In other words, I was
boined up. But while I was still striving for words, young Johnny Day,
who had entered from his office, came charging to Hank's defense.
"Maybe it's not mathematics," he raged, "in the pure sense. But it's
something more valuable common sense! Any man who can pop up with a
quick answer to a problem like that is a handy guy to have around.
You are an efficiency expert, Mr. Grimper, but you had no solution
to offer "
Grimper's lean jaw tightened. His eyes grew as cold as a ditchdigger's
ears in Siberia. Whatever slow beginnings of humanity might have been
wakening in his bosom died now.
"I am sorry, gentleman," he said in a tone of finality which meant he
wasn't at all, "but I am not convinced. I presume, Mr. MacDonald, you
do want this Government order?"
"Notcherally," grudged Old Mac.
"Then " Primly "you must accept my decisions on questions of policy.
Mr. Cleaver, you are hereby granted two weeks in which to clear up
your affairs around this plant, at the end of which time your services
will no longer be needed. I trust you will find suitable employment
elsewhere...."
And he smiled, a mean, oily little smile. The heel!
So that, lads and lassies, was that. Hank was o-u-t on called strikes,
but if you think he just quit trying to do his share because a
fortnight's deadline was hanging over his head, you don't know old
turnip-torturer Cleaver.