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[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "Idiot fuk human design shit-tier spaceship get all Brogga friend kill't. End all. Stoopt fuk. E'ryon kno warp spacetime. E'ryon kno break litspeeding. E'ryon kno crate warm hole. E'ryon kno cut mass half. E'yron cept idiot fuk humans. Y d'sign dumb shit-tier drive can't fi'ure out nuttin'. Cant warp spacetime. Cant break litspeeding. Cant crate warm hole. Cant cut mass. 'Stead idiot fuk human burrow down subquark stangelet bullshit risk implode entire quadrant for fuk newmatter. Y? Too dumb, tha's y. Now Brogga stuk dumb idiot fuk human ship on oth'r side galactic spinward fr'home. Idiot fuk human get Brogga kill't, get Brogga friend kill't..."
The muttering was cut off by a bang, followed by curses unutterable by the tongues of men. Poor old Brogga had been clanking about underneath the hullward dash for the last three days, almost without a break, muttering the entire time.
Say what he would, Brogga was nothing short of a mechanical genius, being the only Broggan capable of working on the Subquark-plated external combustion Engine. It took a particularly pliable mind to make an external combustion engine work, particularly when one was compressing- and burning- pure vacuum. The only real downside was the slight chance of creating decay, but if that happened it wouldn't matter as the entire tanker would be destroyed within seconds. I supposed it would have mattered to the rest of the Universe, but Brogga wouldn't have cared for he would have been the first to go.
Well, okay, there was a second slight problem. See, by burning pure vacuum they wore away a little strip of the cosmos. It was so small that it probably didn't matter, and the Universe was expanding anyways, but certain routes did get more traffic and engines were getting more efficient all the time.
"Idiot fuk human shit design fuk"
More clattering and banging from underneath the hullward dash.
"Idiot fuk human, try now"
Brogga's curses were rewarded with a shuttering rumble as the external combustion engine roared to life.
"Well that's curious" Captain Froy remarked, staring in disbelief at the guages.
Normal external combustion engines were able to operate somewhere between 10,000% and 100,000% efficiency, and for every joule of vacuum energy burned 100% efficiency would yield 10 kilo-joules.
The digital display read 10^89 % efficiency.
"Brogga, I think this gauge is busted."
"Idiot fuk human replace it then. Brogga sleeps."
Then, with customary swagger Captain Froy shoved the throttle open and pulled out, easing back into his seat for a cozy nap. However, when Captain Froy awoke several hours later he was not where he expected. In fact, he was not sure where he was at all.
You see, Brogga had accidentally upgraded their engine. Nobody saw the display, but if they had, they would have seen Brogga, Froy, and the rest of the crew tearing ass across the Universe, ripping a cosmic-scale gash in the vacuum like God's holy zipper. Of course this hole rapidly closed up, but in the time it would normally take them to travel a few hundred lightyears they had soared clear of the "observable Universe" several times over.
In fact, they had traveled so far they weren't entirely sure how to get back.
Thus began the journey of Brogga and the idiot fuk humans who wasted 600 years of his life and destroyed his capacity to speak properly. | Kalgor looked at the pale skined human in utter shock. 'They couldn't be serious in thinking that the rest of the galactic community would simply accept the use of this kind of technology'
“Mr. Adams...” Kalgor began.
“Doctor Adams if you don't mind Count Kalgor.” Dr. Adams corrected, he knew that if he didn't demand respect now that it would be harder to earn it back later. As it stood he could tell that the reptilian xeno that stood before him was not pleased with what had been unveiled only a hour ago in the space dock that was right outside his office window right now.
“Yes Dr.Adams. You must understand that of the various forms of FTL drive in use in the galaxy what you have unveiled here today is at best going to be seen as unsafe at best or outright dangerous to some in the galaxy.” He was struggling to keep the panic out of his voice, but despite his many deca-cycles of experience in diplomacy the very skill that had made him chosen as the Galactic Senate's emissary to the up and coming human race, he was begin to fail.
“Count with all due respect I fail to see what the overall difference is between our own hyperdrive and the Delfanit pulse tube drive or the Kantian gate system they all use hyperspace gravity waves to achieve FTL speeds.”
Kalgor's voice broke. “But you are punching holes in space to reach hyperspace!”
“So?” the Doctor responded nonchalantly.
“The Kantian's use a physical gateway to control entry into hyperspace and the Delfanit's use natural gravity currents to slip into hyperspace. Your system just punches holes into the fabric of space! Even our scientists can't tell if making those holes will not bring about the complete tearing of reality as we know it.”
Kalgor again reasserted some control over himself and continued.
“I know that this is a major milestone for humanity and means that you will not have to pay for the use of other species drive systems in your ships which will transform your economy and your military forces. But this is too dangerous besides, what possible advantages could this drive have over the other forms of FTL?”
Adams knew that this moment would be coming sooner or later and that he had to make the most it.
“So glad you could ask Count. The Kantian's gate system requires a massive amount of energy in order to not only open the entryway to hyperspace both for incoming and outgoing traffic, but to hold it open long enough for ships to get through. While they have relatively few systems in their Empire those that they have are spread out thus why the gate was developed. Once in system they use regular sub-light fusion drive to go from the gate to their ultimate planetary destination.”
Kalgor nodded his head as the Doctor continued.
“However due to the power requirements of just one of those gates not to mention the operating costs it would be uneconomical to have a gate at each planet.
Another thing is the time that the gate is held open effects the toll paid by merchant traffic thus why you don't see any Kantian merchant vessels over 1.5km in length. Beyond that length the ratio between hold space, engine size, and time to accelerate becomes uneconomical. They can't get moving from a stand still fast enough to go through the gate without occurring serious tolls and they can't dedicate more engine size because it cuts into their profits from loss of tonnage hauled.”
“Well... yes those are valid points but...” Kalgor stammered out but Adams didn't let up.
“The Delfanit pulse tube solves the power requirement issue and the infrastructure issue but those “tubes” where the gravity band waves are stable enough to sail on until they hit hyperspace are very restricting as they only occur naturally in a few places. This is why their Kingdom if you look at their history had periods of rapid expansion followed by long periods of solidification because goods had to travel often dozens of light years in sublight from system hubs that had these tubes thus slowing growth.”
Kalgor knew he was quickly losing ground and had little recourse as any other drive system that was used in the galaxy had similar glaring issues that were simply accepted.
The Maltiun wave-riders used massive 20km+ gravity sails to ride the same gravity waves as the Delfanit but instead of entering hyperspace they rode ever more powerful waves and were not limited in where they could go for the most part. But the system was high maintenance and very tonnage sensitive as the larger the vessel the longer it took for that vessel reach FTL speeds. The largest ships the species built took at least a standard week to get up to speed and then another week to slow down.
Salec skip drives on the other hand actually sent gravity anchor beams to latch onto hyperspace currents and pull the ship along technically “skipping” on the envelope between real space and hyperspace. The down side is that the anchors can only hold for so long and the power requirements while nothing like Kantians as this wasn't actually entering hyperspace. Meant that they could only skip anywhere from 20 to 100 lightyears depending on the ships configuration before having to recharge their anchoring system, which could take a standard day or up to a week on the largest shipping vessels. Still faster than going at sub light speeds for sure but it meant long travel times for goods.
“Our system allows us to enter hyperspace at will, with no concerns about ship mass, size, or power production beyond engine thrust which combined with our already recognized and accepted superior fusion engine designs, means that we can potentially travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a month. At least if you are willing to burn that much H3 fuel which even then is more a matter of being inconvenienced with having to stop for fuel rather than any sort of cost consideration.”
The silence in the office was deafening as Kalgor stepped towards the window and looked upon the vessel.
“But the holes Doctor! You may have a system that doesn't have the others drawbacks but we are talking about ripping apart space itself.”
“Count Kalgor I am growing weary of this repeated falsehood. We have be using the same points in orbit to develop this system for over a standard year, and every time we have gone we have had to open a new hole as the last one closed once the vessel is through. Beyond the gravity wake left by the opening you can't tell any thing happened at all after 24 to 36 hours. It is safe.”
“The Senate will not accept this...” Kalgor started hoping he was right to bank on the repugnant nature of this very concept.
“They might not now but they will when they see the Eli Whitney.” Adams spoke ominously. He turned on the large holotank in the middle of the room. The image displayed a monstrous vessel.”
Kalgor turned around and his eyes went wide at the image.
“Is this a warship?” He asked as the ever growing list of implications in his head grew with each passing second.
“No my Count, it is not. It is a merchant vessel commissioned by the Wal-Mart Cartel. She is 75km long, over 2km tall with 12 50-Petawatt fusion reactors with a top estimated FTL speed of 50 but will likely run at 10 to save on fuel costs as such speed is generally unneeded. The whole vessel weighs over 500 million tons 490 of which is hold space capable of hauling virtually anything you can think of. She is going out for trials in a hour then if all goes well she will make a fully loaded iron ore run from the Sol system to Peraxus VII and its heavy industry there. And given that the Senate is on Peraxus V the Eli will make a pass and see if there is anything that needs to be shipped back here to Earth on the return trip.”
As the Doctor finished Kalgor could feel his heart tighten at the size of the vessel and its speed. It would be in the Peraxus system in 3 days, even if he left now in one of the fastest vessels money could buy now he couldn't hope to get there in anything less than 12 days.
“You humans are reckless and unorthodox beyond anything I have ever heard of in my life. But I can't argue with the results.” Kalgor finally stated any hope of resistance gone as the pragmatic side of him knew that economically humanity had, in 10 years after first contact blown every other power in the galaxy out of the water. Another voice his is head whispered about what would happen if mankind made warships on such a scale.
“Well Doctor I don't see any point in arguing anymore but if you can let me on this vessel and join me in the senate with your research especially on the whole hole-punching-then-closing-up-perfectly part, then maybe we can avoid starting a bigger galactic panic then what we absolutely have to.”
“Of course Count I'm already packed and I have made such arrangements already. We can leave once the ship has gone through its final trials.” The Doctor proudly stated. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Terrestrial Warp Drives. First proposed by Miguel Alcubierre two hundred formlats ago, The equivalent of forcing space into a shape which closely resembles two black holes stacked fore to aft. It requires insanely large sums of energy to produce the warp effect, equivalent to at least the mass of a small moon converted to energy. To get around this, the Terrestrials use catalytic mass converter engines. A device which has been discredited by the rest of the universe for the complete and utter destructive potential should such a reactor melt down on a planet. They work by converting matter to energy with a catalyst particle. However, they also produce a certain percent of catalyst particles. When this process runs away, it has been known to destroy planets, heavily damaging entire solar systems.
Under order 4,900,232 section III, Human spacecraft are to be classified as "NOT TO BE TOUCHED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" on or near a planet, and "DESTROY AT ALL COSTS" in interplanetary space. This is not done as a measure against humans, but as a safety measure across the galaxy. This will be done until a treaty can be made with the terrestrial humans such that they will cease using catalytic mass converters.
Examination of a captured Terrestrial FTL Engine under the Federal Standard Gravity Model suggests that some fairly simple improvements to the Alcubierre-type drive can be made to reduce the energy requirements to what can be managed by fusion and antimatter reaction technology. They need not give up their unique drive. As dangerous as the Terrestrial Drive is, it presents no risk to those outside the vessel. | Kalgor looked at the pale skined human in utter shock. 'They couldn't be serious in thinking that the rest of the galactic community would simply accept the use of this kind of technology'
“Mr. Adams...” Kalgor began.
“Doctor Adams if you don't mind Count Kalgor.” Dr. Adams corrected, he knew that if he didn't demand respect now that it would be harder to earn it back later. As it stood he could tell that the reptilian xeno that stood before him was not pleased with what had been unveiled only a hour ago in the space dock that was right outside his office window right now.
“Yes Dr.Adams. You must understand that of the various forms of FTL drive in use in the galaxy what you have unveiled here today is at best going to be seen as unsafe at best or outright dangerous to some in the galaxy.” He was struggling to keep the panic out of his voice, but despite his many deca-cycles of experience in diplomacy the very skill that had made him chosen as the Galactic Senate's emissary to the up and coming human race, he was begin to fail.
“Count with all due respect I fail to see what the overall difference is between our own hyperdrive and the Delfanit pulse tube drive or the Kantian gate system they all use hyperspace gravity waves to achieve FTL speeds.”
Kalgor's voice broke. “But you are punching holes in space to reach hyperspace!”
“So?” the Doctor responded nonchalantly.
“The Kantian's use a physical gateway to control entry into hyperspace and the Delfanit's use natural gravity currents to slip into hyperspace. Your system just punches holes into the fabric of space! Even our scientists can't tell if making those holes will not bring about the complete tearing of reality as we know it.”
Kalgor again reasserted some control over himself and continued.
“I know that this is a major milestone for humanity and means that you will not have to pay for the use of other species drive systems in your ships which will transform your economy and your military forces. But this is too dangerous besides, what possible advantages could this drive have over the other forms of FTL?”
Adams knew that this moment would be coming sooner or later and that he had to make the most it.
“So glad you could ask Count. The Kantian's gate system requires a massive amount of energy in order to not only open the entryway to hyperspace both for incoming and outgoing traffic, but to hold it open long enough for ships to get through. While they have relatively few systems in their Empire those that they have are spread out thus why the gate was developed. Once in system they use regular sub-light fusion drive to go from the gate to their ultimate planetary destination.”
Kalgor nodded his head as the Doctor continued.
“However due to the power requirements of just one of those gates not to mention the operating costs it would be uneconomical to have a gate at each planet.
Another thing is the time that the gate is held open effects the toll paid by merchant traffic thus why you don't see any Kantian merchant vessels over 1.5km in length. Beyond that length the ratio between hold space, engine size, and time to accelerate becomes uneconomical. They can't get moving from a stand still fast enough to go through the gate without occurring serious tolls and they can't dedicate more engine size because it cuts into their profits from loss of tonnage hauled.”
“Well... yes those are valid points but...” Kalgor stammered out but Adams didn't let up.
“The Delfanit pulse tube solves the power requirement issue and the infrastructure issue but those “tubes” where the gravity band waves are stable enough to sail on until they hit hyperspace are very restricting as they only occur naturally in a few places. This is why their Kingdom if you look at their history had periods of rapid expansion followed by long periods of solidification because goods had to travel often dozens of light years in sublight from system hubs that had these tubes thus slowing growth.”
Kalgor knew he was quickly losing ground and had little recourse as any other drive system that was used in the galaxy had similar glaring issues that were simply accepted.
The Maltiun wave-riders used massive 20km+ gravity sails to ride the same gravity waves as the Delfanit but instead of entering hyperspace they rode ever more powerful waves and were not limited in where they could go for the most part. But the system was high maintenance and very tonnage sensitive as the larger the vessel the longer it took for that vessel reach FTL speeds. The largest ships the species built took at least a standard week to get up to speed and then another week to slow down.
Salec skip drives on the other hand actually sent gravity anchor beams to latch onto hyperspace currents and pull the ship along technically “skipping” on the envelope between real space and hyperspace. The down side is that the anchors can only hold for so long and the power requirements while nothing like Kantians as this wasn't actually entering hyperspace. Meant that they could only skip anywhere from 20 to 100 lightyears depending on the ships configuration before having to recharge their anchoring system, which could take a standard day or up to a week on the largest shipping vessels. Still faster than going at sub light speeds for sure but it meant long travel times for goods.
“Our system allows us to enter hyperspace at will, with no concerns about ship mass, size, or power production beyond engine thrust which combined with our already recognized and accepted superior fusion engine designs, means that we can potentially travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a month. At least if you are willing to burn that much H3 fuel which even then is more a matter of being inconvenienced with having to stop for fuel rather than any sort of cost consideration.”
The silence in the office was deafening as Kalgor stepped towards the window and looked upon the vessel.
“But the holes Doctor! You may have a system that doesn't have the others drawbacks but we are talking about ripping apart space itself.”
“Count Kalgor I am growing weary of this repeated falsehood. We have be using the same points in orbit to develop this system for over a standard year, and every time we have gone we have had to open a new hole as the last one closed once the vessel is through. Beyond the gravity wake left by the opening you can't tell any thing happened at all after 24 to 36 hours. It is safe.”
“The Senate will not accept this...” Kalgor started hoping he was right to bank on the repugnant nature of this very concept.
“They might not now but they will when they see the Eli Whitney.” Adams spoke ominously. He turned on the large holotank in the middle of the room. The image displayed a monstrous vessel.”
Kalgor turned around and his eyes went wide at the image.
“Is this a warship?” He asked as the ever growing list of implications in his head grew with each passing second.
“No my Count, it is not. It is a merchant vessel commissioned by the Wal-Mart Cartel. She is 75km long, over 2km tall with 12 50-Petawatt fusion reactors with a top estimated FTL speed of 50 but will likely run at 10 to save on fuel costs as such speed is generally unneeded. The whole vessel weighs over 500 million tons 490 of which is hold space capable of hauling virtually anything you can think of. She is going out for trials in a hour then if all goes well she will make a fully loaded iron ore run from the Sol system to Peraxus VII and its heavy industry there. And given that the Senate is on Peraxus V the Eli will make a pass and see if there is anything that needs to be shipped back here to Earth on the return trip.”
As the Doctor finished Kalgor could feel his heart tighten at the size of the vessel and its speed. It would be in the Peraxus system in 3 days, even if he left now in one of the fastest vessels money could buy now he couldn't hope to get there in anything less than 12 days.
“You humans are reckless and unorthodox beyond anything I have ever heard of in my life. But I can't argue with the results.” Kalgor finally stated any hope of resistance gone as the pragmatic side of him knew that economically humanity had, in 10 years after first contact blown every other power in the galaxy out of the water. Another voice his is head whispered about what would happen if mankind made warships on such a scale.
“Well Doctor I don't see any point in arguing anymore but if you can let me on this vessel and join me in the senate with your research especially on the whole hole-punching-then-closing-up-perfectly part, then maybe we can avoid starting a bigger galactic panic then what we absolutely have to.”
“Of course Count I'm already packed and I have made such arrangements already. We can leave once the ship has gone through its final trials.” The Doctor proudly stated. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | Kalgor looked at the pale skined human in utter shock. 'They couldn't be serious in thinking that the rest of the galactic community would simply accept the use of this kind of technology'
“Mr. Adams...” Kalgor began.
“Doctor Adams if you don't mind Count Kalgor.” Dr. Adams corrected, he knew that if he didn't demand respect now that it would be harder to earn it back later. As it stood he could tell that the reptilian xeno that stood before him was not pleased with what had been unveiled only a hour ago in the space dock that was right outside his office window right now.
“Yes Dr.Adams. You must understand that of the various forms of FTL drive in use in the galaxy what you have unveiled here today is at best going to be seen as unsafe at best or outright dangerous to some in the galaxy.” He was struggling to keep the panic out of his voice, but despite his many deca-cycles of experience in diplomacy the very skill that had made him chosen as the Galactic Senate's emissary to the up and coming human race, he was begin to fail.
“Count with all due respect I fail to see what the overall difference is between our own hyperdrive and the Delfanit pulse tube drive or the Kantian gate system they all use hyperspace gravity waves to achieve FTL speeds.”
Kalgor's voice broke. “But you are punching holes in space to reach hyperspace!”
“So?” the Doctor responded nonchalantly.
“The Kantian's use a physical gateway to control entry into hyperspace and the Delfanit's use natural gravity currents to slip into hyperspace. Your system just punches holes into the fabric of space! Even our scientists can't tell if making those holes will not bring about the complete tearing of reality as we know it.”
Kalgor again reasserted some control over himself and continued.
“I know that this is a major milestone for humanity and means that you will not have to pay for the use of other species drive systems in your ships which will transform your economy and your military forces. But this is too dangerous besides, what possible advantages could this drive have over the other forms of FTL?”
Adams knew that this moment would be coming sooner or later and that he had to make the most it.
“So glad you could ask Count. The Kantian's gate system requires a massive amount of energy in order to not only open the entryway to hyperspace both for incoming and outgoing traffic, but to hold it open long enough for ships to get through. While they have relatively few systems in their Empire those that they have are spread out thus why the gate was developed. Once in system they use regular sub-light fusion drive to go from the gate to their ultimate planetary destination.”
Kalgor nodded his head as the Doctor continued.
“However due to the power requirements of just one of those gates not to mention the operating costs it would be uneconomical to have a gate at each planet.
Another thing is the time that the gate is held open effects the toll paid by merchant traffic thus why you don't see any Kantian merchant vessels over 1.5km in length. Beyond that length the ratio between hold space, engine size, and time to accelerate becomes uneconomical. They can't get moving from a stand still fast enough to go through the gate without occurring serious tolls and they can't dedicate more engine size because it cuts into their profits from loss of tonnage hauled.”
“Well... yes those are valid points but...” Kalgor stammered out but Adams didn't let up.
“The Delfanit pulse tube solves the power requirement issue and the infrastructure issue but those “tubes” where the gravity band waves are stable enough to sail on until they hit hyperspace are very restricting as they only occur naturally in a few places. This is why their Kingdom if you look at their history had periods of rapid expansion followed by long periods of solidification because goods had to travel often dozens of light years in sublight from system hubs that had these tubes thus slowing growth.”
Kalgor knew he was quickly losing ground and had little recourse as any other drive system that was used in the galaxy had similar glaring issues that were simply accepted.
The Maltiun wave-riders used massive 20km+ gravity sails to ride the same gravity waves as the Delfanit but instead of entering hyperspace they rode ever more powerful waves and were not limited in where they could go for the most part. But the system was high maintenance and very tonnage sensitive as the larger the vessel the longer it took for that vessel reach FTL speeds. The largest ships the species built took at least a standard week to get up to speed and then another week to slow down.
Salec skip drives on the other hand actually sent gravity anchor beams to latch onto hyperspace currents and pull the ship along technically “skipping” on the envelope between real space and hyperspace. The down side is that the anchors can only hold for so long and the power requirements while nothing like Kantians as this wasn't actually entering hyperspace. Meant that they could only skip anywhere from 20 to 100 lightyears depending on the ships configuration before having to recharge their anchoring system, which could take a standard day or up to a week on the largest shipping vessels. Still faster than going at sub light speeds for sure but it meant long travel times for goods.
“Our system allows us to enter hyperspace at will, with no concerns about ship mass, size, or power production beyond engine thrust which combined with our already recognized and accepted superior fusion engine designs, means that we can potentially travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a month. At least if you are willing to burn that much H3 fuel which even then is more a matter of being inconvenienced with having to stop for fuel rather than any sort of cost consideration.”
The silence in the office was deafening as Kalgor stepped towards the window and looked upon the vessel.
“But the holes Doctor! You may have a system that doesn't have the others drawbacks but we are talking about ripping apart space itself.”
“Count Kalgor I am growing weary of this repeated falsehood. We have be using the same points in orbit to develop this system for over a standard year, and every time we have gone we have had to open a new hole as the last one closed once the vessel is through. Beyond the gravity wake left by the opening you can't tell any thing happened at all after 24 to 36 hours. It is safe.”
“The Senate will not accept this...” Kalgor started hoping he was right to bank on the repugnant nature of this very concept.
“They might not now but they will when they see the Eli Whitney.” Adams spoke ominously. He turned on the large holotank in the middle of the room. The image displayed a monstrous vessel.”
Kalgor turned around and his eyes went wide at the image.
“Is this a warship?” He asked as the ever growing list of implications in his head grew with each passing second.
“No my Count, it is not. It is a merchant vessel commissioned by the Wal-Mart Cartel. She is 75km long, over 2km tall with 12 50-Petawatt fusion reactors with a top estimated FTL speed of 50 but will likely run at 10 to save on fuel costs as such speed is generally unneeded. The whole vessel weighs over 500 million tons 490 of which is hold space capable of hauling virtually anything you can think of. She is going out for trials in a hour then if all goes well she will make a fully loaded iron ore run from the Sol system to Peraxus VII and its heavy industry there. And given that the Senate is on Peraxus V the Eli will make a pass and see if there is anything that needs to be shipped back here to Earth on the return trip.”
As the Doctor finished Kalgor could feel his heart tighten at the size of the vessel and its speed. It would be in the Peraxus system in 3 days, even if he left now in one of the fastest vessels money could buy now he couldn't hope to get there in anything less than 12 days.
“You humans are reckless and unorthodox beyond anything I have ever heard of in my life. But I can't argue with the results.” Kalgor finally stated any hope of resistance gone as the pragmatic side of him knew that economically humanity had, in 10 years after first contact blown every other power in the galaxy out of the water. Another voice his is head whispered about what would happen if mankind made warships on such a scale.
“Well Doctor I don't see any point in arguing anymore but if you can let me on this vessel and join me in the senate with your research especially on the whole hole-punching-then-closing-up-perfectly part, then maybe we can avoid starting a bigger galactic panic then what we absolutely have to.”
“Of course Count I'm already packed and I have made such arrangements already. We can leave once the ship has gone through its final trials.” The Doctor proudly stated. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | Kalgor looked at the pale skined human in utter shock. 'They couldn't be serious in thinking that the rest of the galactic community would simply accept the use of this kind of technology'
“Mr. Adams...” Kalgor began.
“Doctor Adams if you don't mind Count Kalgor.” Dr. Adams corrected, he knew that if he didn't demand respect now that it would be harder to earn it back later. As it stood he could tell that the reptilian xeno that stood before him was not pleased with what had been unveiled only a hour ago in the space dock that was right outside his office window right now.
“Yes Dr.Adams. You must understand that of the various forms of FTL drive in use in the galaxy what you have unveiled here today is at best going to be seen as unsafe at best or outright dangerous to some in the galaxy.” He was struggling to keep the panic out of his voice, but despite his many deca-cycles of experience in diplomacy the very skill that had made him chosen as the Galactic Senate's emissary to the up and coming human race, he was begin to fail.
“Count with all due respect I fail to see what the overall difference is between our own hyperdrive and the Delfanit pulse tube drive or the Kantian gate system they all use hyperspace gravity waves to achieve FTL speeds.”
Kalgor's voice broke. “But you are punching holes in space to reach hyperspace!”
“So?” the Doctor responded nonchalantly.
“The Kantian's use a physical gateway to control entry into hyperspace and the Delfanit's use natural gravity currents to slip into hyperspace. Your system just punches holes into the fabric of space! Even our scientists can't tell if making those holes will not bring about the complete tearing of reality as we know it.”
Kalgor again reasserted some control over himself and continued.
“I know that this is a major milestone for humanity and means that you will not have to pay for the use of other species drive systems in your ships which will transform your economy and your military forces. But this is too dangerous besides, what possible advantages could this drive have over the other forms of FTL?”
Adams knew that this moment would be coming sooner or later and that he had to make the most it.
“So glad you could ask Count. The Kantian's gate system requires a massive amount of energy in order to not only open the entryway to hyperspace both for incoming and outgoing traffic, but to hold it open long enough for ships to get through. While they have relatively few systems in their Empire those that they have are spread out thus why the gate was developed. Once in system they use regular sub-light fusion drive to go from the gate to their ultimate planetary destination.”
Kalgor nodded his head as the Doctor continued.
“However due to the power requirements of just one of those gates not to mention the operating costs it would be uneconomical to have a gate at each planet.
Another thing is the time that the gate is held open effects the toll paid by merchant traffic thus why you don't see any Kantian merchant vessels over 1.5km in length. Beyond that length the ratio between hold space, engine size, and time to accelerate becomes uneconomical. They can't get moving from a stand still fast enough to go through the gate without occurring serious tolls and they can't dedicate more engine size because it cuts into their profits from loss of tonnage hauled.”
“Well... yes those are valid points but...” Kalgor stammered out but Adams didn't let up.
“The Delfanit pulse tube solves the power requirement issue and the infrastructure issue but those “tubes” where the gravity band waves are stable enough to sail on until they hit hyperspace are very restricting as they only occur naturally in a few places. This is why their Kingdom if you look at their history had periods of rapid expansion followed by long periods of solidification because goods had to travel often dozens of light years in sublight from system hubs that had these tubes thus slowing growth.”
Kalgor knew he was quickly losing ground and had little recourse as any other drive system that was used in the galaxy had similar glaring issues that were simply accepted.
The Maltiun wave-riders used massive 20km+ gravity sails to ride the same gravity waves as the Delfanit but instead of entering hyperspace they rode ever more powerful waves and were not limited in where they could go for the most part. But the system was high maintenance and very tonnage sensitive as the larger the vessel the longer it took for that vessel reach FTL speeds. The largest ships the species built took at least a standard week to get up to speed and then another week to slow down.
Salec skip drives on the other hand actually sent gravity anchor beams to latch onto hyperspace currents and pull the ship along technically “skipping” on the envelope between real space and hyperspace. The down side is that the anchors can only hold for so long and the power requirements while nothing like Kantians as this wasn't actually entering hyperspace. Meant that they could only skip anywhere from 20 to 100 lightyears depending on the ships configuration before having to recharge their anchoring system, which could take a standard day or up to a week on the largest shipping vessels. Still faster than going at sub light speeds for sure but it meant long travel times for goods.
“Our system allows us to enter hyperspace at will, with no concerns about ship mass, size, or power production beyond engine thrust which combined with our already recognized and accepted superior fusion engine designs, means that we can potentially travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a month. At least if you are willing to burn that much H3 fuel which even then is more a matter of being inconvenienced with having to stop for fuel rather than any sort of cost consideration.”
The silence in the office was deafening as Kalgor stepped towards the window and looked upon the vessel.
“But the holes Doctor! You may have a system that doesn't have the others drawbacks but we are talking about ripping apart space itself.”
“Count Kalgor I am growing weary of this repeated falsehood. We have be using the same points in orbit to develop this system for over a standard year, and every time we have gone we have had to open a new hole as the last one closed once the vessel is through. Beyond the gravity wake left by the opening you can't tell any thing happened at all after 24 to 36 hours. It is safe.”
“The Senate will not accept this...” Kalgor started hoping he was right to bank on the repugnant nature of this very concept.
“They might not now but they will when they see the Eli Whitney.” Adams spoke ominously. He turned on the large holotank in the middle of the room. The image displayed a monstrous vessel.”
Kalgor turned around and his eyes went wide at the image.
“Is this a warship?” He asked as the ever growing list of implications in his head grew with each passing second.
“No my Count, it is not. It is a merchant vessel commissioned by the Wal-Mart Cartel. She is 75km long, over 2km tall with 12 50-Petawatt fusion reactors with a top estimated FTL speed of 50 but will likely run at 10 to save on fuel costs as such speed is generally unneeded. The whole vessel weighs over 500 million tons 490 of which is hold space capable of hauling virtually anything you can think of. She is going out for trials in a hour then if all goes well she will make a fully loaded iron ore run from the Sol system to Peraxus VII and its heavy industry there. And given that the Senate is on Peraxus V the Eli will make a pass and see if there is anything that needs to be shipped back here to Earth on the return trip.”
As the Doctor finished Kalgor could feel his heart tighten at the size of the vessel and its speed. It would be in the Peraxus system in 3 days, even if he left now in one of the fastest vessels money could buy now he couldn't hope to get there in anything less than 12 days.
“You humans are reckless and unorthodox beyond anything I have ever heard of in my life. But I can't argue with the results.” Kalgor finally stated any hope of resistance gone as the pragmatic side of him knew that economically humanity had, in 10 years after first contact blown every other power in the galaxy out of the water. Another voice his is head whispered about what would happen if mankind made warships on such a scale.
“Well Doctor I don't see any point in arguing anymore but if you can let me on this vessel and join me in the senate with your research especially on the whole hole-punching-then-closing-up-perfectly part, then maybe we can avoid starting a bigger galactic panic then what we absolutely have to.”
“Of course Count I'm already packed and I have made such arrangements already. We can leave once the ship has gone through its final trials.” The Doctor proudly stated. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "Idiot fuk human design shit-tier spaceship get all Brogga friend kill't. End all. Stoopt fuk. E'ryon kno warp spacetime. E'ryon kno break litspeeding. E'ryon kno crate warm hole. E'ryon kno cut mass half. E'yron cept idiot fuk humans. Y d'sign dumb shit-tier drive can't fi'ure out nuttin'. Cant warp spacetime. Cant break litspeeding. Cant crate warm hole. Cant cut mass. 'Stead idiot fuk human burrow down subquark stangelet bullshit risk implode entire quadrant for fuk newmatter. Y? Too dumb, tha's y. Now Brogga stuk dumb idiot fuk human ship on oth'r side galactic spinward fr'home. Idiot fuk human get Brogga kill't, get Brogga friend kill't..."
The muttering was cut off by a bang, followed by curses unutterable by the tongues of men. Poor old Brogga had been clanking about underneath the hullward dash for the last three days, almost without a break, muttering the entire time.
Say what he would, Brogga was nothing short of a mechanical genius, being the only Broggan capable of working on the Subquark-plated external combustion Engine. It took a particularly pliable mind to make an external combustion engine work, particularly when one was compressing- and burning- pure vacuum. The only real downside was the slight chance of creating decay, but if that happened it wouldn't matter as the entire tanker would be destroyed within seconds. I supposed it would have mattered to the rest of the Universe, but Brogga wouldn't have cared for he would have been the first to go.
Well, okay, there was a second slight problem. See, by burning pure vacuum they wore away a little strip of the cosmos. It was so small that it probably didn't matter, and the Universe was expanding anyways, but certain routes did get more traffic and engines were getting more efficient all the time.
"Idiot fuk human shit design fuk"
More clattering and banging from underneath the hullward dash.
"Idiot fuk human, try now"
Brogga's curses were rewarded with a shuttering rumble as the external combustion engine roared to life.
"Well that's curious" Captain Froy remarked, staring in disbelief at the guages.
Normal external combustion engines were able to operate somewhere between 10,000% and 100,000% efficiency, and for every joule of vacuum energy burned 100% efficiency would yield 10 kilo-joules.
The digital display read 10^89 % efficiency.
"Brogga, I think this gauge is busted."
"Idiot fuk human replace it then. Brogga sleeps."
Then, with customary swagger Captain Froy shoved the throttle open and pulled out, easing back into his seat for a cozy nap. However, when Captain Froy awoke several hours later he was not where he expected. In fact, he was not sure where he was at all.
You see, Brogga had accidentally upgraded their engine. Nobody saw the display, but if they had, they would have seen Brogga, Froy, and the rest of the crew tearing ass across the Universe, ripping a cosmic-scale gash in the vacuum like God's holy zipper. Of course this hole rapidly closed up, but in the time it would normally take them to travel a few hundred lightyears they had soared clear of the "observable Universe" several times over.
In fact, they had traveled so far they weren't entirely sure how to get back.
Thus began the journey of Brogga and the idiot fuk humans who wasted 600 years of his life and destroyed his capacity to speak properly. | Uyreah swung the hoe one last time, burying it with a satisfying thud deep in the dirt and letting it stand there. He wiped sweat from his brow, cursing again the rarity and costliness of proper mechanised tools in this world. He stretched his back, grimaced at the toll his age was taking on him, and turned for the other side of the valley.
As he walked, his thoughts were a numb buzzing in his oblong skull, and as always, heeded not his demand for them to be still. He did his best to ignore them, placing one three-toed foot in front of the other. It didn't matter what might be going on on Homeworld. It was not his business.
The sky's blue began to give way to pink, and he knew that his son would be on the roof, settling in to watch the coming aurora. The boy was getting to that age where he wondered what was beyond the limits of their farming community, and Uyreah was not prepared to answer him.
At least, not since the last moonshiner had died with his secrets. Uyreah had wished to apprentice to him, for he recognised how important intoxicants were to the community, but his own father had forbade it. Tretton, as his father was called, had been sober his entire life, and believed only hard work and dedication could keep their colony alive until help could come. Any time resting or relaxing had to be spent in study, or weaving, or some other productive but untaxing activity.
Tretton was not mourned.
The house was coming into view now, a hive of small semi-spherical buildings attached in a web, and sure enough, the boy Ghgets was atop the tallest one, ankles crossed and weight resting on his palms behind him. Uyreah smiled a private smile, and pushed against his aching bones to climb the rest of the hill.
"Just in time, Dad!" Ghgets waved, then seemed to hesitate. "Dad? Can we talk?"
Uyreah froze, swallowed, looked left and right as though seeking an escape route. He was, he realised. He steeled himself, and without responding, moved to drop his bag of root-vegetables at the door. He stood there for a little longer than he probably should have.
"Let's wait for the lights," he said at last, and began scaling the abode. "Wouldn't want you to miss the lights."
"The lights are on all night every night," Ghgets responded in a sulky tone, but shifted over to make room for his father. "They're hard to miss."
"Yet you're out here every night, at the same time." Uyreah grumbled, dropping down heavily. He leaned over and pressed his head against his son's, and trilled, which seemed to placate the boy. They turned back to the sky in silence, and in moments, it erupted in shimmering waves of green, magenta, and cyan.
Even now, in his twilight years, Uyreah loved them.
"You want to know about what's up there."
"I want to know where we came from."
"It's the same question, really. Why now? Why wait all these years to ask?"
Ghgets' skin darkened, and he began picking at some loose dirt on the roof. "Because Grampa always said to ignore it. 'Keep your eyes on the soil,' he said. 'The soil is our life. What's up there is not for us.'"
Uyreah nodded, the sounds of those same words from when he was told them ringing through his head. He rolled his head from one side to the other lazily, mulling over what to say next. He wished his bond-mate was still with them.
"We're from Homeworld," he said at last. "Not you or I, but our people. They came here in great ships, and set up mining operations. Some brought their families. Then, one day..." He gestured at the sky. "This."
"What is 'this'," Ghgets demanded petulantly, tearing off a fist-sized clod of dirt.
Uyreah, annoyed, did his best to keep his voice level. "This was hundreds of years ago, and even back then, we only had a few scientists in this region of space. You know the six stars, right?"
That seemed to soften the boy's mood. He loved what little astronomy he was privy to. "Titungus, the rager. Pilipin, the dancer. Qott and Sett, the twins." He pointed now, at a bright point in the ocean of dancing colours, and named the star, "Revin, the bold. And our sun, Illerv, the seeker."
"And among those," Uyreah spoke, "Illerv, Titungus, and Revin are the prime stars, with colonies under their light. Titungus-3 was the first established, and that was where the scientists dwelt. When the light curtain appeared, it isolated the six stars from the rest of space with its impassable barrier. For a time after that, there was chaos, and murder, and despair. All communications with Homeworld, and indeed, any other colony, was severed. But after a year, one of the scientists sent a broadcast out. We call it 'Liric's proclamation', for that was her name."
Ghgets sat enraptured, staring unblinking at his father with wide, porcelain eyes. It was only then Uyreah realised how little he had taught his son, and silently cursed himself and his father both.
"She said that they had heard of an experiment being undertaken by a species called Human, of a new faster-than-light drive they were developing. Liric claimed that this drive had folded the space around this area, trapping us in a pocket dimension. Presumably, the ship was supposed to traverse the shortened distance, and then unfold the pocket. Yet, here we are, hundreds of years later."
Uyreah could see his boy processing all of this, with the same plodding determination he had used. He turned back to the lights above, trying to recall if he had missed anything important.
"So... What causes the lights?"
Uyreah scratched his chin, fighting to bring back those lectures of old. "Well, because our space is compressed, light moves through it faster than it normally should. That causes... something. I don't recall. We have even fewer scientists now than those we started with."
"Is that why we don't have a harvester?"
"Aye, noone remembers how to build one."
"I'd like to join you in the field tomorrow, Dad."
Uyreah smiled. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Terrestrial Warp Drives. First proposed by Miguel Alcubierre two hundred formlats ago, The equivalent of forcing space into a shape which closely resembles two black holes stacked fore to aft. It requires insanely large sums of energy to produce the warp effect, equivalent to at least the mass of a small moon converted to energy. To get around this, the Terrestrials use catalytic mass converter engines. A device which has been discredited by the rest of the universe for the complete and utter destructive potential should such a reactor melt down on a planet. They work by converting matter to energy with a catalyst particle. However, they also produce a certain percent of catalyst particles. When this process runs away, it has been known to destroy planets, heavily damaging entire solar systems.
Under order 4,900,232 section III, Human spacecraft are to be classified as "NOT TO BE TOUCHED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" on or near a planet, and "DESTROY AT ALL COSTS" in interplanetary space. This is not done as a measure against humans, but as a safety measure across the galaxy. This will be done until a treaty can be made with the terrestrial humans such that they will cease using catalytic mass converters.
Examination of a captured Terrestrial FTL Engine under the Federal Standard Gravity Model suggests that some fairly simple improvements to the Alcubierre-type drive can be made to reduce the energy requirements to what can be managed by fusion and antimatter reaction technology. They need not give up their unique drive. As dangerous as the Terrestrial Drive is, it presents no risk to those outside the vessel. | Uyreah swung the hoe one last time, burying it with a satisfying thud deep in the dirt and letting it stand there. He wiped sweat from his brow, cursing again the rarity and costliness of proper mechanised tools in this world. He stretched his back, grimaced at the toll his age was taking on him, and turned for the other side of the valley.
As he walked, his thoughts were a numb buzzing in his oblong skull, and as always, heeded not his demand for them to be still. He did his best to ignore them, placing one three-toed foot in front of the other. It didn't matter what might be going on on Homeworld. It was not his business.
The sky's blue began to give way to pink, and he knew that his son would be on the roof, settling in to watch the coming aurora. The boy was getting to that age where he wondered what was beyond the limits of their farming community, and Uyreah was not prepared to answer him.
At least, not since the last moonshiner had died with his secrets. Uyreah had wished to apprentice to him, for he recognised how important intoxicants were to the community, but his own father had forbade it. Tretton, as his father was called, had been sober his entire life, and believed only hard work and dedication could keep their colony alive until help could come. Any time resting or relaxing had to be spent in study, or weaving, or some other productive but untaxing activity.
Tretton was not mourned.
The house was coming into view now, a hive of small semi-spherical buildings attached in a web, and sure enough, the boy Ghgets was atop the tallest one, ankles crossed and weight resting on his palms behind him. Uyreah smiled a private smile, and pushed against his aching bones to climb the rest of the hill.
"Just in time, Dad!" Ghgets waved, then seemed to hesitate. "Dad? Can we talk?"
Uyreah froze, swallowed, looked left and right as though seeking an escape route. He was, he realised. He steeled himself, and without responding, moved to drop his bag of root-vegetables at the door. He stood there for a little longer than he probably should have.
"Let's wait for the lights," he said at last, and began scaling the abode. "Wouldn't want you to miss the lights."
"The lights are on all night every night," Ghgets responded in a sulky tone, but shifted over to make room for his father. "They're hard to miss."
"Yet you're out here every night, at the same time." Uyreah grumbled, dropping down heavily. He leaned over and pressed his head against his son's, and trilled, which seemed to placate the boy. They turned back to the sky in silence, and in moments, it erupted in shimmering waves of green, magenta, and cyan.
Even now, in his twilight years, Uyreah loved them.
"You want to know about what's up there."
"I want to know where we came from."
"It's the same question, really. Why now? Why wait all these years to ask?"
Ghgets' skin darkened, and he began picking at some loose dirt on the roof. "Because Grampa always said to ignore it. 'Keep your eyes on the soil,' he said. 'The soil is our life. What's up there is not for us.'"
Uyreah nodded, the sounds of those same words from when he was told them ringing through his head. He rolled his head from one side to the other lazily, mulling over what to say next. He wished his bond-mate was still with them.
"We're from Homeworld," he said at last. "Not you or I, but our people. They came here in great ships, and set up mining operations. Some brought their families. Then, one day..." He gestured at the sky. "This."
"What is 'this'," Ghgets demanded petulantly, tearing off a fist-sized clod of dirt.
Uyreah, annoyed, did his best to keep his voice level. "This was hundreds of years ago, and even back then, we only had a few scientists in this region of space. You know the six stars, right?"
That seemed to soften the boy's mood. He loved what little astronomy he was privy to. "Titungus, the rager. Pilipin, the dancer. Qott and Sett, the twins." He pointed now, at a bright point in the ocean of dancing colours, and named the star, "Revin, the bold. And our sun, Illerv, the seeker."
"And among those," Uyreah spoke, "Illerv, Titungus, and Revin are the prime stars, with colonies under their light. Titungus-3 was the first established, and that was where the scientists dwelt. When the light curtain appeared, it isolated the six stars from the rest of space with its impassable barrier. For a time after that, there was chaos, and murder, and despair. All communications with Homeworld, and indeed, any other colony, was severed. But after a year, one of the scientists sent a broadcast out. We call it 'Liric's proclamation', for that was her name."
Ghgets sat enraptured, staring unblinking at his father with wide, porcelain eyes. It was only then Uyreah realised how little he had taught his son, and silently cursed himself and his father both.
"She said that they had heard of an experiment being undertaken by a species called Human, of a new faster-than-light drive they were developing. Liric claimed that this drive had folded the space around this area, trapping us in a pocket dimension. Presumably, the ship was supposed to traverse the shortened distance, and then unfold the pocket. Yet, here we are, hundreds of years later."
Uyreah could see his boy processing all of this, with the same plodding determination he had used. He turned back to the lights above, trying to recall if he had missed anything important.
"So... What causes the lights?"
Uyreah scratched his chin, fighting to bring back those lectures of old. "Well, because our space is compressed, light moves through it faster than it normally should. That causes... something. I don't recall. We have even fewer scientists now than those we started with."
"Is that why we don't have a harvester?"
"Aye, noone remembers how to build one."
"I'd like to join you in the field tomorrow, Dad."
Uyreah smiled. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| Uyreah swung the hoe one last time, burying it with a satisfying thud deep in the dirt and letting it stand there. He wiped sweat from his brow, cursing again the rarity and costliness of proper mechanised tools in this world. He stretched his back, grimaced at the toll his age was taking on him, and turned for the other side of the valley.
As he walked, his thoughts were a numb buzzing in his oblong skull, and as always, heeded not his demand for them to be still. He did his best to ignore them, placing one three-toed foot in front of the other. It didn't matter what might be going on on Homeworld. It was not his business.
The sky's blue began to give way to pink, and he knew that his son would be on the roof, settling in to watch the coming aurora. The boy was getting to that age where he wondered what was beyond the limits of their farming community, and Uyreah was not prepared to answer him.
At least, not since the last moonshiner had died with his secrets. Uyreah had wished to apprentice to him, for he recognised how important intoxicants were to the community, but his own father had forbade it. Tretton, as his father was called, had been sober his entire life, and believed only hard work and dedication could keep their colony alive until help could come. Any time resting or relaxing had to be spent in study, or weaving, or some other productive but untaxing activity.
Tretton was not mourned.
The house was coming into view now, a hive of small semi-spherical buildings attached in a web, and sure enough, the boy Ghgets was atop the tallest one, ankles crossed and weight resting on his palms behind him. Uyreah smiled a private smile, and pushed against his aching bones to climb the rest of the hill.
"Just in time, Dad!" Ghgets waved, then seemed to hesitate. "Dad? Can we talk?"
Uyreah froze, swallowed, looked left and right as though seeking an escape route. He was, he realised. He steeled himself, and without responding, moved to drop his bag of root-vegetables at the door. He stood there for a little longer than he probably should have.
"Let's wait for the lights," he said at last, and began scaling the abode. "Wouldn't want you to miss the lights."
"The lights are on all night every night," Ghgets responded in a sulky tone, but shifted over to make room for his father. "They're hard to miss."
"Yet you're out here every night, at the same time." Uyreah grumbled, dropping down heavily. He leaned over and pressed his head against his son's, and trilled, which seemed to placate the boy. They turned back to the sky in silence, and in moments, it erupted in shimmering waves of green, magenta, and cyan.
Even now, in his twilight years, Uyreah loved them.
"You want to know about what's up there."
"I want to know where we came from."
"It's the same question, really. Why now? Why wait all these years to ask?"
Ghgets' skin darkened, and he began picking at some loose dirt on the roof. "Because Grampa always said to ignore it. 'Keep your eyes on the soil,' he said. 'The soil is our life. What's up there is not for us.'"
Uyreah nodded, the sounds of those same words from when he was told them ringing through his head. He rolled his head from one side to the other lazily, mulling over what to say next. He wished his bond-mate was still with them.
"We're from Homeworld," he said at last. "Not you or I, but our people. They came here in great ships, and set up mining operations. Some brought their families. Then, one day..." He gestured at the sky. "This."
"What is 'this'," Ghgets demanded petulantly, tearing off a fist-sized clod of dirt.
Uyreah, annoyed, did his best to keep his voice level. "This was hundreds of years ago, and even back then, we only had a few scientists in this region of space. You know the six stars, right?"
That seemed to soften the boy's mood. He loved what little astronomy he was privy to. "Titungus, the rager. Pilipin, the dancer. Qott and Sett, the twins." He pointed now, at a bright point in the ocean of dancing colours, and named the star, "Revin, the bold. And our sun, Illerv, the seeker."
"And among those," Uyreah spoke, "Illerv, Titungus, and Revin are the prime stars, with colonies under their light. Titungus-3 was the first established, and that was where the scientists dwelt. When the light curtain appeared, it isolated the six stars from the rest of space with its impassable barrier. For a time after that, there was chaos, and murder, and despair. All communications with Homeworld, and indeed, any other colony, was severed. But after a year, one of the scientists sent a broadcast out. We call it 'Liric's proclamation', for that was her name."
Ghgets sat enraptured, staring unblinking at his father with wide, porcelain eyes. It was only then Uyreah realised how little he had taught his son, and silently cursed himself and his father both.
"She said that they had heard of an experiment being undertaken by a species called Human, of a new faster-than-light drive they were developing. Liric claimed that this drive had folded the space around this area, trapping us in a pocket dimension. Presumably, the ship was supposed to traverse the shortened distance, and then unfold the pocket. Yet, here we are, hundreds of years later."
Uyreah could see his boy processing all of this, with the same plodding determination he had used. He turned back to the lights above, trying to recall if he had missed anything important.
"So... What causes the lights?"
Uyreah scratched his chin, fighting to bring back those lectures of old. "Well, because our space is compressed, light moves through it faster than it normally should. That causes... something. I don't recall. We have even fewer scientists now than those we started with."
"Is that why we don't have a harvester?"
"Aye, noone remembers how to build one."
"I'd like to join you in the field tomorrow, Dad."
Uyreah smiled. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | Uyreah swung the hoe one last time, burying it with a satisfying thud deep in the dirt and letting it stand there. He wiped sweat from his brow, cursing again the rarity and costliness of proper mechanised tools in this world. He stretched his back, grimaced at the toll his age was taking on him, and turned for the other side of the valley.
As he walked, his thoughts were a numb buzzing in his oblong skull, and as always, heeded not his demand for them to be still. He did his best to ignore them, placing one three-toed foot in front of the other. It didn't matter what might be going on on Homeworld. It was not his business.
The sky's blue began to give way to pink, and he knew that his son would be on the roof, settling in to watch the coming aurora. The boy was getting to that age where he wondered what was beyond the limits of their farming community, and Uyreah was not prepared to answer him.
At least, not since the last moonshiner had died with his secrets. Uyreah had wished to apprentice to him, for he recognised how important intoxicants were to the community, but his own father had forbade it. Tretton, as his father was called, had been sober his entire life, and believed only hard work and dedication could keep their colony alive until help could come. Any time resting or relaxing had to be spent in study, or weaving, or some other productive but untaxing activity.
Tretton was not mourned.
The house was coming into view now, a hive of small semi-spherical buildings attached in a web, and sure enough, the boy Ghgets was atop the tallest one, ankles crossed and weight resting on his palms behind him. Uyreah smiled a private smile, and pushed against his aching bones to climb the rest of the hill.
"Just in time, Dad!" Ghgets waved, then seemed to hesitate. "Dad? Can we talk?"
Uyreah froze, swallowed, looked left and right as though seeking an escape route. He was, he realised. He steeled himself, and without responding, moved to drop his bag of root-vegetables at the door. He stood there for a little longer than he probably should have.
"Let's wait for the lights," he said at last, and began scaling the abode. "Wouldn't want you to miss the lights."
"The lights are on all night every night," Ghgets responded in a sulky tone, but shifted over to make room for his father. "They're hard to miss."
"Yet you're out here every night, at the same time." Uyreah grumbled, dropping down heavily. He leaned over and pressed his head against his son's, and trilled, which seemed to placate the boy. They turned back to the sky in silence, and in moments, it erupted in shimmering waves of green, magenta, and cyan.
Even now, in his twilight years, Uyreah loved them.
"You want to know about what's up there."
"I want to know where we came from."
"It's the same question, really. Why now? Why wait all these years to ask?"
Ghgets' skin darkened, and he began picking at some loose dirt on the roof. "Because Grampa always said to ignore it. 'Keep your eyes on the soil,' he said. 'The soil is our life. What's up there is not for us.'"
Uyreah nodded, the sounds of those same words from when he was told them ringing through his head. He rolled his head from one side to the other lazily, mulling over what to say next. He wished his bond-mate was still with them.
"We're from Homeworld," he said at last. "Not you or I, but our people. They came here in great ships, and set up mining operations. Some brought their families. Then, one day..." He gestured at the sky. "This."
"What is 'this'," Ghgets demanded petulantly, tearing off a fist-sized clod of dirt.
Uyreah, annoyed, did his best to keep his voice level. "This was hundreds of years ago, and even back then, we only had a few scientists in this region of space. You know the six stars, right?"
That seemed to soften the boy's mood. He loved what little astronomy he was privy to. "Titungus, the rager. Pilipin, the dancer. Qott and Sett, the twins." He pointed now, at a bright point in the ocean of dancing colours, and named the star, "Revin, the bold. And our sun, Illerv, the seeker."
"And among those," Uyreah spoke, "Illerv, Titungus, and Revin are the prime stars, with colonies under their light. Titungus-3 was the first established, and that was where the scientists dwelt. When the light curtain appeared, it isolated the six stars from the rest of space with its impassable barrier. For a time after that, there was chaos, and murder, and despair. All communications with Homeworld, and indeed, any other colony, was severed. But after a year, one of the scientists sent a broadcast out. We call it 'Liric's proclamation', for that was her name."
Ghgets sat enraptured, staring unblinking at his father with wide, porcelain eyes. It was only then Uyreah realised how little he had taught his son, and silently cursed himself and his father both.
"She said that they had heard of an experiment being undertaken by a species called Human, of a new faster-than-light drive they were developing. Liric claimed that this drive had folded the space around this area, trapping us in a pocket dimension. Presumably, the ship was supposed to traverse the shortened distance, and then unfold the pocket. Yet, here we are, hundreds of years later."
Uyreah could see his boy processing all of this, with the same plodding determination he had used. He turned back to the lights above, trying to recall if he had missed anything important.
"So... What causes the lights?"
Uyreah scratched his chin, fighting to bring back those lectures of old. "Well, because our space is compressed, light moves through it faster than it normally should. That causes... something. I don't recall. We have even fewer scientists now than those we started with."
"Is that why we don't have a harvester?"
"Aye, noone remembers how to build one."
"I'd like to join you in the field tomorrow, Dad."
Uyreah smiled. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | Uyreah swung the hoe one last time, burying it with a satisfying thud deep in the dirt and letting it stand there. He wiped sweat from his brow, cursing again the rarity and costliness of proper mechanised tools in this world. He stretched his back, grimaced at the toll his age was taking on him, and turned for the other side of the valley.
As he walked, his thoughts were a numb buzzing in his oblong skull, and as always, heeded not his demand for them to be still. He did his best to ignore them, placing one three-toed foot in front of the other. It didn't matter what might be going on on Homeworld. It was not his business.
The sky's blue began to give way to pink, and he knew that his son would be on the roof, settling in to watch the coming aurora. The boy was getting to that age where he wondered what was beyond the limits of their farming community, and Uyreah was not prepared to answer him.
At least, not since the last moonshiner had died with his secrets. Uyreah had wished to apprentice to him, for he recognised how important intoxicants were to the community, but his own father had forbade it. Tretton, as his father was called, had been sober his entire life, and believed only hard work and dedication could keep their colony alive until help could come. Any time resting or relaxing had to be spent in study, or weaving, or some other productive but untaxing activity.
Tretton was not mourned.
The house was coming into view now, a hive of small semi-spherical buildings attached in a web, and sure enough, the boy Ghgets was atop the tallest one, ankles crossed and weight resting on his palms behind him. Uyreah smiled a private smile, and pushed against his aching bones to climb the rest of the hill.
"Just in time, Dad!" Ghgets waved, then seemed to hesitate. "Dad? Can we talk?"
Uyreah froze, swallowed, looked left and right as though seeking an escape route. He was, he realised. He steeled himself, and without responding, moved to drop his bag of root-vegetables at the door. He stood there for a little longer than he probably should have.
"Let's wait for the lights," he said at last, and began scaling the abode. "Wouldn't want you to miss the lights."
"The lights are on all night every night," Ghgets responded in a sulky tone, but shifted over to make room for his father. "They're hard to miss."
"Yet you're out here every night, at the same time." Uyreah grumbled, dropping down heavily. He leaned over and pressed his head against his son's, and trilled, which seemed to placate the boy. They turned back to the sky in silence, and in moments, it erupted in shimmering waves of green, magenta, and cyan.
Even now, in his twilight years, Uyreah loved them.
"You want to know about what's up there."
"I want to know where we came from."
"It's the same question, really. Why now? Why wait all these years to ask?"
Ghgets' skin darkened, and he began picking at some loose dirt on the roof. "Because Grampa always said to ignore it. 'Keep your eyes on the soil,' he said. 'The soil is our life. What's up there is not for us.'"
Uyreah nodded, the sounds of those same words from when he was told them ringing through his head. He rolled his head from one side to the other lazily, mulling over what to say next. He wished his bond-mate was still with them.
"We're from Homeworld," he said at last. "Not you or I, but our people. They came here in great ships, and set up mining operations. Some brought their families. Then, one day..." He gestured at the sky. "This."
"What is 'this'," Ghgets demanded petulantly, tearing off a fist-sized clod of dirt.
Uyreah, annoyed, did his best to keep his voice level. "This was hundreds of years ago, and even back then, we only had a few scientists in this region of space. You know the six stars, right?"
That seemed to soften the boy's mood. He loved what little astronomy he was privy to. "Titungus, the rager. Pilipin, the dancer. Qott and Sett, the twins." He pointed now, at a bright point in the ocean of dancing colours, and named the star, "Revin, the bold. And our sun, Illerv, the seeker."
"And among those," Uyreah spoke, "Illerv, Titungus, and Revin are the prime stars, with colonies under their light. Titungus-3 was the first established, and that was where the scientists dwelt. When the light curtain appeared, it isolated the six stars from the rest of space with its impassable barrier. For a time after that, there was chaos, and murder, and despair. All communications with Homeworld, and indeed, any other colony, was severed. But after a year, one of the scientists sent a broadcast out. We call it 'Liric's proclamation', for that was her name."
Ghgets sat enraptured, staring unblinking at his father with wide, porcelain eyes. It was only then Uyreah realised how little he had taught his son, and silently cursed himself and his father both.
"She said that they had heard of an experiment being undertaken by a species called Human, of a new faster-than-light drive they were developing. Liric claimed that this drive had folded the space around this area, trapping us in a pocket dimension. Presumably, the ship was supposed to traverse the shortened distance, and then unfold the pocket. Yet, here we are, hundreds of years later."
Uyreah could see his boy processing all of this, with the same plodding determination he had used. He turned back to the lights above, trying to recall if he had missed anything important.
"So... What causes the lights?"
Uyreah scratched his chin, fighting to bring back those lectures of old. "Well, because our space is compressed, light moves through it faster than it normally should. That causes... something. I don't recall. We have even fewer scientists now than those we started with."
"Is that why we don't have a harvester?"
"Aye, noone remembers how to build one."
"I'd like to join you in the field tomorrow, Dad."
Uyreah smiled. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Terrestrial Warp Drives. First proposed by Miguel Alcubierre two hundred formlats ago, The equivalent of forcing space into a shape which closely resembles two black holes stacked fore to aft. It requires insanely large sums of energy to produce the warp effect, equivalent to at least the mass of a small moon converted to energy. To get around this, the Terrestrials use catalytic mass converter engines. A device which has been discredited by the rest of the universe for the complete and utter destructive potential should such a reactor melt down on a planet. They work by converting matter to energy with a catalyst particle. However, they also produce a certain percent of catalyst particles. When this process runs away, it has been known to destroy planets, heavily damaging entire solar systems.
Under order 4,900,232 section III, Human spacecraft are to be classified as "NOT TO BE TOUCHED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" on or near a planet, and "DESTROY AT ALL COSTS" in interplanetary space. This is not done as a measure against humans, but as a safety measure across the galaxy. This will be done until a treaty can be made with the terrestrial humans such that they will cease using catalytic mass converters.
Examination of a captured Terrestrial FTL Engine under the Federal Standard Gravity Model suggests that some fairly simple improvements to the Alcubierre-type drive can be made to reduce the energy requirements to what can be managed by fusion and antimatter reaction technology. They need not give up their unique drive. As dangerous as the Terrestrial Drive is, it presents no risk to those outside the vessel. | “Shit, there goes another one.” General Turr mumbled to, Taek, his first officer, “They’re getting a lot more accurate, they used to miss by a few thousand kilometres.”
Turning the ship towards the newly arrived HomoSapien space liner, the Exerprise H56, the Kantian war ship set about tracking the liner and getting all of its clearances and passes checked.
“Yeah, but they are still missing the safe zones. If it weren’t for the jelly shields of the Salec’s their FTL travel would’ve been banned.”
The liner is easily one of the smallest ships currently docked at the way spacion, the HomoSapiens had only discovered their FTL travel 20 years ago. The Kantian’s, Salec’s, Maltuin’s and Delfanit’s were shocked, never thinking that a species with only two arms could create such technology.
“It’s Unorthodox, Unsafe and Damn Stupid! It UUDS!” The council meetings had been plagued with these words for ages.
Taek, going through each clearance code with a meticulousness that only he could, motions to the debris trail left behind the liners “If we shared our technology with them, they could travel through the gates.”
“It would also decrease the bloody clean-up required each time.”
“You know we can’t, the treaty stands and the human ships aren’t dense enough to handle the radiation.” The general replies, not mentioning that the few ships that have tried it crashed into each other.
“How, exactly do they even travel this far anyway? It would seem that their ships and bodies wouldn’t be able to handle the forces.” Taek asks for the millionth time.
“Well, they have this theory of relativity, which says the faster you travel the more mass you have. It overcomplicated all of their scientific endeavours.” The general begins, earning a collective moan from everyone awake in the warships control room.
“So when they started travelling at close to light speed they just assumed that they couldn’t travel as fast or faster. They built engines that can get to 80% the speed of light, which is something our ships do with impulse engines.”
“That only took them to the edge of their own solar system, something admirable but it still confined them to their own corner. The Salec wave riders were considering helping them to travel faster, however, about 21 years ago when they sent a probe ship, they found rings the size of moons being placed on the edges of their solar system.” He pauses to ensure that Taek is still listening, which of course he is.
“Curious the Salec’s stood back and watched. The humans had somehow discovered how to warp space but only between two set places. Their warp drives also temporarily increased their speed to 3 FTL, which they still haven’t entirely realised.”
This next bit is where the council is still struggling to accept the HomoSapiens as a race, the council usually worked well together on making decisions, but dangerous travel that still worked was a grey area. Every other race were too cautious to attempt something unkown.
“Well, to start traversing through space, the humans would travel from their home planet at the maximum speed they can travel. Aiming straight for the warp gates, at first, but eventually at different angles. This caused them to easily travel to new solar systems. It also made it difficult for them to actually stop.”
“Which is why their first three ships flew straight into, in order or severity, the council war fleet, the council’s moon of operations and the dwarf star of the Antraci system. Total count of death combined was well over 100-million.”
“Of course after catching the attention of the council and several other alien races the HomoSapiens eventually made contact with us and we were able to stop their exploration ships before more damage could be caused. The thing that surprised most races was that after three failed attempts the humans were still attempting FTL travel.”
“It wasn’t until first contact that the Salec’s realised that humans were still using Radio waves to communicate across vast distances. But, that advancement in their tech is a whole different story and involves several strange messages that either offended everyone or caused peace treaties to be made with the Andromeda Galaxy.”
- Recorded on the bridge of the JJK98 Farbelus Warship, 200 0000 km long, conversation between General of Knowledge Turr and his First Officer of memory Taek. Annotations and missing information filled in my Salec History Keeper Urder V, the second.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I'm sorry...there must be a glitch with this translator. You do *what* now?"
"Fiddle with the Higgs Field around our ships."
"And your 'Higgs Field' is where a particle essentially gives an object its mass via its interaction with other particles, yes?"
"Yup!"
"And you...fiddle with it?"
"Yeah, it ain't too precise. Zero Point Drives have a decent range of power that fluctuates, but they work!"
"Just...walk me through it again."
"Alright, well the ZPD activates and it creates a field around the ship that essentially begins to stop bosons. The ship essentially loses matter now that it now longer interacts with the Universe, approaching a 'Zero Point' or 'ground state' of existence. Everyone and everything inside is fine due to the field creating a sort of pocket within the ship."
"And acceleration?"
"Well our quantum vacuum thrusters—"
"And those are?"
"Oh! QVTs use quantum vacuum fluctuations of energy in space to propel itself using virtual plasma. As I was saying, once the ZPD fires up, those kick to go faster than light, and the lack of mass means its possible to do so."
"So first you alter the existence of your ship and then you tap into the still vastly misunderstood vacuum of virtual particles, risking destabilizing all matter aboard the vessel and risking fusing into an object once you complete your jump."
"We keep the spacelanes clear of debris just in case."
"And when it does happen?"
"Live and Learn. For those of us not aboard that ship of course. They're dead."
"..." | “Shit, there goes another one.” General Turr mumbled to, Taek, his first officer, “They’re getting a lot more accurate, they used to miss by a few thousand kilometres.”
Turning the ship towards the newly arrived HomoSapien space liner, the Exerprise H56, the Kantian war ship set about tracking the liner and getting all of its clearances and passes checked.
“Yeah, but they are still missing the safe zones. If it weren’t for the jelly shields of the Salec’s their FTL travel would’ve been banned.”
The liner is easily one of the smallest ships currently docked at the way spacion, the HomoSapiens had only discovered their FTL travel 20 years ago. The Kantian’s, Salec’s, Maltuin’s and Delfanit’s were shocked, never thinking that a species with only two arms could create such technology.
“It’s Unorthodox, Unsafe and Damn Stupid! It UUDS!” The council meetings had been plagued with these words for ages.
Taek, going through each clearance code with a meticulousness that only he could, motions to the debris trail left behind the liners “If we shared our technology with them, they could travel through the gates.”
“It would also decrease the bloody clean-up required each time.”
“You know we can’t, the treaty stands and the human ships aren’t dense enough to handle the radiation.” The general replies, not mentioning that the few ships that have tried it crashed into each other.
“How, exactly do they even travel this far anyway? It would seem that their ships and bodies wouldn’t be able to handle the forces.” Taek asks for the millionth time.
“Well, they have this theory of relativity, which says the faster you travel the more mass you have. It overcomplicated all of their scientific endeavours.” The general begins, earning a collective moan from everyone awake in the warships control room.
“So when they started travelling at close to light speed they just assumed that they couldn’t travel as fast or faster. They built engines that can get to 80% the speed of light, which is something our ships do with impulse engines.”
“That only took them to the edge of their own solar system, something admirable but it still confined them to their own corner. The Salec wave riders were considering helping them to travel faster, however, about 21 years ago when they sent a probe ship, they found rings the size of moons being placed on the edges of their solar system.” He pauses to ensure that Taek is still listening, which of course he is.
“Curious the Salec’s stood back and watched. The humans had somehow discovered how to warp space but only between two set places. Their warp drives also temporarily increased their speed to 3 FTL, which they still haven’t entirely realised.”
This next bit is where the council is still struggling to accept the HomoSapiens as a race, the council usually worked well together on making decisions, but dangerous travel that still worked was a grey area. Every other race were too cautious to attempt something unkown.
“Well, to start traversing through space, the humans would travel from their home planet at the maximum speed they can travel. Aiming straight for the warp gates, at first, but eventually at different angles. This caused them to easily travel to new solar systems. It also made it difficult for them to actually stop.”
“Which is why their first three ships flew straight into, in order or severity, the council war fleet, the council’s moon of operations and the dwarf star of the Antraci system. Total count of death combined was well over 100-million.”
“Of course after catching the attention of the council and several other alien races the HomoSapiens eventually made contact with us and we were able to stop their exploration ships before more damage could be caused. The thing that surprised most races was that after three failed attempts the humans were still attempting FTL travel.”
“It wasn’t until first contact that the Salec’s realised that humans were still using Radio waves to communicate across vast distances. But, that advancement in their tech is a whole different story and involves several strange messages that either offended everyone or caused peace treaties to be made with the Andromeda Galaxy.”
- Recorded on the bridge of the JJK98 Farbelus Warship, 200 0000 km long, conversation between General of Knowledge Turr and his First Officer of memory Taek. Annotations and missing information filled in my Salec History Keeper Urder V, the second.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| “Shit, there goes another one.” General Turr mumbled to, Taek, his first officer, “They’re getting a lot more accurate, they used to miss by a few thousand kilometres.”
Turning the ship towards the newly arrived HomoSapien space liner, the Exerprise H56, the Kantian war ship set about tracking the liner and getting all of its clearances and passes checked.
“Yeah, but they are still missing the safe zones. If it weren’t for the jelly shields of the Salec’s their FTL travel would’ve been banned.”
The liner is easily one of the smallest ships currently docked at the way spacion, the HomoSapiens had only discovered their FTL travel 20 years ago. The Kantian’s, Salec’s, Maltuin’s and Delfanit’s were shocked, never thinking that a species with only two arms could create such technology.
“It’s Unorthodox, Unsafe and Damn Stupid! It UUDS!” The council meetings had been plagued with these words for ages.
Taek, going through each clearance code with a meticulousness that only he could, motions to the debris trail left behind the liners “If we shared our technology with them, they could travel through the gates.”
“It would also decrease the bloody clean-up required each time.”
“You know we can’t, the treaty stands and the human ships aren’t dense enough to handle the radiation.” The general replies, not mentioning that the few ships that have tried it crashed into each other.
“How, exactly do they even travel this far anyway? It would seem that their ships and bodies wouldn’t be able to handle the forces.” Taek asks for the millionth time.
“Well, they have this theory of relativity, which says the faster you travel the more mass you have. It overcomplicated all of their scientific endeavours.” The general begins, earning a collective moan from everyone awake in the warships control room.
“So when they started travelling at close to light speed they just assumed that they couldn’t travel as fast or faster. They built engines that can get to 80% the speed of light, which is something our ships do with impulse engines.”
“That only took them to the edge of their own solar system, something admirable but it still confined them to their own corner. The Salec wave riders were considering helping them to travel faster, however, about 21 years ago when they sent a probe ship, they found rings the size of moons being placed on the edges of their solar system.” He pauses to ensure that Taek is still listening, which of course he is.
“Curious the Salec’s stood back and watched. The humans had somehow discovered how to warp space but only between two set places. Their warp drives also temporarily increased their speed to 3 FTL, which they still haven’t entirely realised.”
This next bit is where the council is still struggling to accept the HomoSapiens as a race, the council usually worked well together on making decisions, but dangerous travel that still worked was a grey area. Every other race were too cautious to attempt something unkown.
“Well, to start traversing through space, the humans would travel from their home planet at the maximum speed they can travel. Aiming straight for the warp gates, at first, but eventually at different angles. This caused them to easily travel to new solar systems. It also made it difficult for them to actually stop.”
“Which is why their first three ships flew straight into, in order or severity, the council war fleet, the council’s moon of operations and the dwarf star of the Antraci system. Total count of death combined was well over 100-million.”
“Of course after catching the attention of the council and several other alien races the HomoSapiens eventually made contact with us and we were able to stop their exploration ships before more damage could be caused. The thing that surprised most races was that after three failed attempts the humans were still attempting FTL travel.”
“It wasn’t until first contact that the Salec’s realised that humans were still using Radio waves to communicate across vast distances. But, that advancement in their tech is a whole different story and involves several strange messages that either offended everyone or caused peace treaties to be made with the Andromeda Galaxy.”
- Recorded on the bridge of the JJK98 Farbelus Warship, 200 0000 km long, conversation between General of Knowledge Turr and his First Officer of memory Taek. Annotations and missing information filled in my Salec History Keeper Urder V, the second.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | “Shit, there goes another one.” General Turr mumbled to, Taek, his first officer, “They’re getting a lot more accurate, they used to miss by a few thousand kilometres.”
Turning the ship towards the newly arrived HomoSapien space liner, the Exerprise H56, the Kantian war ship set about tracking the liner and getting all of its clearances and passes checked.
“Yeah, but they are still missing the safe zones. If it weren’t for the jelly shields of the Salec’s their FTL travel would’ve been banned.”
The liner is easily one of the smallest ships currently docked at the way spacion, the HomoSapiens had only discovered their FTL travel 20 years ago. The Kantian’s, Salec’s, Maltuin’s and Delfanit’s were shocked, never thinking that a species with only two arms could create such technology.
“It’s Unorthodox, Unsafe and Damn Stupid! It UUDS!” The council meetings had been plagued with these words for ages.
Taek, going through each clearance code with a meticulousness that only he could, motions to the debris trail left behind the liners “If we shared our technology with them, they could travel through the gates.”
“It would also decrease the bloody clean-up required each time.”
“You know we can’t, the treaty stands and the human ships aren’t dense enough to handle the radiation.” The general replies, not mentioning that the few ships that have tried it crashed into each other.
“How, exactly do they even travel this far anyway? It would seem that their ships and bodies wouldn’t be able to handle the forces.” Taek asks for the millionth time.
“Well, they have this theory of relativity, which says the faster you travel the more mass you have. It overcomplicated all of their scientific endeavours.” The general begins, earning a collective moan from everyone awake in the warships control room.
“So when they started travelling at close to light speed they just assumed that they couldn’t travel as fast or faster. They built engines that can get to 80% the speed of light, which is something our ships do with impulse engines.”
“That only took them to the edge of their own solar system, something admirable but it still confined them to their own corner. The Salec wave riders were considering helping them to travel faster, however, about 21 years ago when they sent a probe ship, they found rings the size of moons being placed on the edges of their solar system.” He pauses to ensure that Taek is still listening, which of course he is.
“Curious the Salec’s stood back and watched. The humans had somehow discovered how to warp space but only between two set places. Their warp drives also temporarily increased their speed to 3 FTL, which they still haven’t entirely realised.”
This next bit is where the council is still struggling to accept the HomoSapiens as a race, the council usually worked well together on making decisions, but dangerous travel that still worked was a grey area. Every other race were too cautious to attempt something unkown.
“Well, to start traversing through space, the humans would travel from their home planet at the maximum speed they can travel. Aiming straight for the warp gates, at first, but eventually at different angles. This caused them to easily travel to new solar systems. It also made it difficult for them to actually stop.”
“Which is why their first three ships flew straight into, in order or severity, the council war fleet, the council’s moon of operations and the dwarf star of the Antraci system. Total count of death combined was well over 100-million.”
“Of course after catching the attention of the council and several other alien races the HomoSapiens eventually made contact with us and we were able to stop their exploration ships before more damage could be caused. The thing that surprised most races was that after three failed attempts the humans were still attempting FTL travel.”
“It wasn’t until first contact that the Salec’s realised that humans were still using Radio waves to communicate across vast distances. But, that advancement in their tech is a whole different story and involves several strange messages that either offended everyone or caused peace treaties to be made with the Andromeda Galaxy.”
- Recorded on the bridge of the JJK98 Farbelus Warship, 200 0000 km long, conversation between General of Knowledge Turr and his First Officer of memory Taek. Annotations and missing information filled in my Salec History Keeper Urder V, the second.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | “Shit, there goes another one.” General Turr mumbled to, Taek, his first officer, “They’re getting a lot more accurate, they used to miss by a few thousand kilometres.”
Turning the ship towards the newly arrived HomoSapien space liner, the Exerprise H56, the Kantian war ship set about tracking the liner and getting all of its clearances and passes checked.
“Yeah, but they are still missing the safe zones. If it weren’t for the jelly shields of the Salec’s their FTL travel would’ve been banned.”
The liner is easily one of the smallest ships currently docked at the way spacion, the HomoSapiens had only discovered their FTL travel 20 years ago. The Kantian’s, Salec’s, Maltuin’s and Delfanit’s were shocked, never thinking that a species with only two arms could create such technology.
“It’s Unorthodox, Unsafe and Damn Stupid! It UUDS!” The council meetings had been plagued with these words for ages.
Taek, going through each clearance code with a meticulousness that only he could, motions to the debris trail left behind the liners “If we shared our technology with them, they could travel through the gates.”
“It would also decrease the bloody clean-up required each time.”
“You know we can’t, the treaty stands and the human ships aren’t dense enough to handle the radiation.” The general replies, not mentioning that the few ships that have tried it crashed into each other.
“How, exactly do they even travel this far anyway? It would seem that their ships and bodies wouldn’t be able to handle the forces.” Taek asks for the millionth time.
“Well, they have this theory of relativity, which says the faster you travel the more mass you have. It overcomplicated all of their scientific endeavours.” The general begins, earning a collective moan from everyone awake in the warships control room.
“So when they started travelling at close to light speed they just assumed that they couldn’t travel as fast or faster. They built engines that can get to 80% the speed of light, which is something our ships do with impulse engines.”
“That only took them to the edge of their own solar system, something admirable but it still confined them to their own corner. The Salec wave riders were considering helping them to travel faster, however, about 21 years ago when they sent a probe ship, they found rings the size of moons being placed on the edges of their solar system.” He pauses to ensure that Taek is still listening, which of course he is.
“Curious the Salec’s stood back and watched. The humans had somehow discovered how to warp space but only between two set places. Their warp drives also temporarily increased their speed to 3 FTL, which they still haven’t entirely realised.”
This next bit is where the council is still struggling to accept the HomoSapiens as a race, the council usually worked well together on making decisions, but dangerous travel that still worked was a grey area. Every other race were too cautious to attempt something unkown.
“Well, to start traversing through space, the humans would travel from their home planet at the maximum speed they can travel. Aiming straight for the warp gates, at first, but eventually at different angles. This caused them to easily travel to new solar systems. It also made it difficult for them to actually stop.”
“Which is why their first three ships flew straight into, in order or severity, the council war fleet, the council’s moon of operations and the dwarf star of the Antraci system. Total count of death combined was well over 100-million.”
“Of course after catching the attention of the council and several other alien races the HomoSapiens eventually made contact with us and we were able to stop their exploration ships before more damage could be caused. The thing that surprised most races was that after three failed attempts the humans were still attempting FTL travel.”
“It wasn’t until first contact that the Salec’s realised that humans were still using Radio waves to communicate across vast distances. But, that advancement in their tech is a whole different story and involves several strange messages that either offended everyone or caused peace treaties to be made with the Andromeda Galaxy.”
- Recorded on the bridge of the JJK98 Farbelus Warship, 200 0000 km long, conversation between General of Knowledge Turr and his First Officer of memory Taek. Annotations and missing information filled in my Salec History Keeper Urder V, the second.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | "Idiot fuk human design shit-tier spaceship get all Brogga friend kill't. End all. Stoopt fuk. E'ryon kno warp spacetime. E'ryon kno break litspeeding. E'ryon kno crate warm hole. E'ryon kno cut mass half. E'yron cept idiot fuk humans. Y d'sign dumb shit-tier drive can't fi'ure out nuttin'. Cant warp spacetime. Cant break litspeeding. Cant crate warm hole. Cant cut mass. 'Stead idiot fuk human burrow down subquark stangelet bullshit risk implode entire quadrant for fuk newmatter. Y? Too dumb, tha's y. Now Brogga stuk dumb idiot fuk human ship on oth'r side galactic spinward fr'home. Idiot fuk human get Brogga kill't, get Brogga friend kill't..."
The muttering was cut off by a bang, followed by curses unutterable by the tongues of men. Poor old Brogga had been clanking about underneath the hullward dash for the last three days, almost without a break, muttering the entire time.
Say what he would, Brogga was nothing short of a mechanical genius, being the only Broggan capable of working on the Subquark-plated external combustion Engine. It took a particularly pliable mind to make an external combustion engine work, particularly when one was compressing- and burning- pure vacuum. The only real downside was the slight chance of creating decay, but if that happened it wouldn't matter as the entire tanker would be destroyed within seconds. I supposed it would have mattered to the rest of the Universe, but Brogga wouldn't have cared for he would have been the first to go.
Well, okay, there was a second slight problem. See, by burning pure vacuum they wore away a little strip of the cosmos. It was so small that it probably didn't matter, and the Universe was expanding anyways, but certain routes did get more traffic and engines were getting more efficient all the time.
"Idiot fuk human shit design fuk"
More clattering and banging from underneath the hullward dash.
"Idiot fuk human, try now"
Brogga's curses were rewarded with a shuttering rumble as the external combustion engine roared to life.
"Well that's curious" Captain Froy remarked, staring in disbelief at the guages.
Normal external combustion engines were able to operate somewhere between 10,000% and 100,000% efficiency, and for every joule of vacuum energy burned 100% efficiency would yield 10 kilo-joules.
The digital display read 10^89 % efficiency.
"Brogga, I think this gauge is busted."
"Idiot fuk human replace it then. Brogga sleeps."
Then, with customary swagger Captain Froy shoved the throttle open and pulled out, easing back into his seat for a cozy nap. However, when Captain Froy awoke several hours later he was not where he expected. In fact, he was not sure where he was at all.
You see, Brogga had accidentally upgraded their engine. Nobody saw the display, but if they had, they would have seen Brogga, Froy, and the rest of the crew tearing ass across the Universe, ripping a cosmic-scale gash in the vacuum like God's holy zipper. Of course this hole rapidly closed up, but in the time it would normally take them to travel a few hundred lightyears they had soared clear of the "observable Universe" several times over.
In fact, they had traveled so far they weren't entirely sure how to get back.
Thus began the journey of Brogga and the idiot fuk humans who wasted 600 years of his life and destroyed his capacity to speak properly. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | Terrestrial Warp Drives. First proposed by Miguel Alcubierre two hundred formlats ago, The equivalent of forcing space into a shape which closely resembles two black holes stacked fore to aft. It requires insanely large sums of energy to produce the warp effect, equivalent to at least the mass of a small moon converted to energy. To get around this, the Terrestrials use catalytic mass converter engines. A device which has been discredited by the rest of the universe for the complete and utter destructive potential should such a reactor melt down on a planet. They work by converting matter to energy with a catalyst particle. However, they also produce a certain percent of catalyst particles. When this process runs away, it has been known to destroy planets, heavily damaging entire solar systems.
Under order 4,900,232 section III, Human spacecraft are to be classified as "NOT TO BE TOUCHED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" on or near a planet, and "DESTROY AT ALL COSTS" in interplanetary space. This is not done as a measure against humans, but as a safety measure across the galaxy. This will be done until a treaty can be made with the terrestrial humans such that they will cease using catalytic mass converters.
Examination of a captured Terrestrial FTL Engine under the Federal Standard Gravity Model suggests that some fairly simple improvements to the Alcubierre-type drive can be made to reduce the energy requirements to what can be managed by fusion and antimatter reaction technology. They need not give up their unique drive. As dangerous as the Terrestrial Drive is, it presents no risk to those outside the vessel. | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| "I'm sorry...there must be a glitch with this translator. You do *what* now?"
"Fiddle with the Higgs Field around our ships."
"And your 'Higgs Field' is where a particle essentially gives an object its mass via its interaction with other particles, yes?"
"Yup!"
"And you...fiddle with it?"
"Yeah, it ain't too precise. Zero Point Drives have a decent range of power that fluctuates, but they work!"
"Just...walk me through it again."
"Alright, well the ZPD activates and it creates a field around the ship that essentially begins to stop bosons. The ship essentially loses matter now that it now longer interacts with the Universe, approaching a 'Zero Point' or 'ground state' of existence. Everyone and everything inside is fine due to the field creating a sort of pocket within the ship."
"And acceleration?"
"Well our quantum vacuum thrusters—"
"And those are?"
"Oh! QVTs use quantum vacuum fluctuations of energy in space to propel itself using virtual plasma. As I was saying, once the ZPD fires up, those kick to go faster than light, and the lack of mass means its possible to do so."
"So first you alter the existence of your ship and then you tap into the still vastly misunderstood vacuum of virtual particles, risking destabilizing all matter aboard the vessel and risking fusing into an object once you complete your jump."
"We keep the spacelanes clear of debris just in case."
"And when it does happen?"
"Live and Learn. For those of us not aboard that ship of course. They're dead."
"..." | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | "I'm sorry...there must be a glitch with this translator. You do *what* now?"
"Fiddle with the Higgs Field around our ships."
"And your 'Higgs Field' is where a particle essentially gives an object its mass via its interaction with other particles, yes?"
"Yup!"
"And you...fiddle with it?"
"Yeah, it ain't too precise. Zero Point Drives have a decent range of power that fluctuates, but they work!"
"Just...walk me through it again."
"Alright, well the ZPD activates and it creates a field around the ship that essentially begins to stop bosons. The ship essentially loses matter now that it now longer interacts with the Universe, approaching a 'Zero Point' or 'ground state' of existence. Everyone and everything inside is fine due to the field creating a sort of pocket within the ship."
"And acceleration?"
"Well our quantum vacuum thrusters—"
"And those are?"
"Oh! QVTs use quantum vacuum fluctuations of energy in space to propel itself using virtual plasma. As I was saying, once the ZPD fires up, those kick to go faster than light, and the lack of mass means its possible to do so."
"So first you alter the existence of your ship and then you tap into the still vastly misunderstood vacuum of virtual particles, risking destabilizing all matter aboard the vessel and risking fusing into an object once you complete your jump."
"We keep the spacelanes clear of debris just in case."
"And when it does happen?"
"Live and Learn. For those of us not aboard that ship of course. They're dead."
"..." | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | "I'm sorry...there must be a glitch with this translator. You do *what* now?"
"Fiddle with the Higgs Field around our ships."
"And your 'Higgs Field' is where a particle essentially gives an object its mass via its interaction with other particles, yes?"
"Yup!"
"And you...fiddle with it?"
"Yeah, it ain't too precise. Zero Point Drives have a decent range of power that fluctuates, but they work!"
"Just...walk me through it again."
"Alright, well the ZPD activates and it creates a field around the ship that essentially begins to stop bosons. The ship essentially loses matter now that it now longer interacts with the Universe, approaching a 'Zero Point' or 'ground state' of existence. Everyone and everything inside is fine due to the field creating a sort of pocket within the ship."
"And acceleration?"
"Well our quantum vacuum thrusters—"
"And those are?"
"Oh! QVTs use quantum vacuum fluctuations of energy in space to propel itself using virtual plasma. As I was saying, once the ZPD fires up, those kick to go faster than light, and the lack of mass means its possible to do so."
"So first you alter the existence of your ship and then you tap into the still vastly misunderstood vacuum of virtual particles, risking destabilizing all matter aboard the vessel and risking fusing into an object once you complete your jump."
"We keep the spacelanes clear of debris just in case."
"And when it does happen?"
"Live and Learn. For those of us not aboard that ship of course. They're dead."
"..." | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | A single spotlight appeared on the stage, and into it stepped a man who, as the phrase goes, truly needed no introduction. Every person watching knew who this was, whether they were in the stadium where every one of the 15,000 seats was fiiled, or watching from their homes. For the first time in history, billions were watching one single person.
"Good afternoon, fellow sentients. My name is Septimus Musk. It has been my pleasure to lead humanity in scientific revolution. I helped make flying cars safe. I made data transmission to contact lenses feasible. My robo-bees revolutionized pollenization, ending famine on this world and making life on Mars possible. But all this pales in comparison to my family's greatest failure."
"Centuries ago, my ancestor, Elon," he turned to point to a holographic bust, 20 feet tall, of the great inventor, "revolutionized the way the world looked at transportation. Some even call him a savior; certainly when he discovered the key to Martian colonization as he gazed into a bowl of Grape Nuts, he made certain that humanity would no longer be bound to just one planet."
"What confounded my fathers and grandfathers, and me, though, was the slow speed of interplanetary travel. Even with his great genius, travel to Mars took months, and those who went were never meant to return. That he did not crack the Light Barrier, he felt it was one of his greatest failings. Well, grandfather," Septimus turned to address the giant head floating over the stage behind him, "we have solved that very problem. Tonight, I reveal to you and to humanity that we are no longer bound by mortal physics. WE! Can now GO!" Septimus threw his arms into the air and yelled "FASTER THAN LIGHT!"
The crowd erupted in thunderous applause and the normally rock-steady cameras vibrated in the wake of their adulation. When Septimus lowered his arms again, however, the crowd drew silent just as quickly, eager to hear what he next had to say.
"The principle, dear humanity, is quite simple. Well, simple to express; trust me, it'll take more than a few iPhone Femtos to process these equations," he joked and the crowd laughed appropriately. He held up his hands and a hologram of a twig appeared. "It is a classic thought experiment; a ladybug at one end of a branch will take a long time to get to the other end." He curled his hands together, "bending" the twig so the two ends met. "But here, the ladybug can crawl from one end to the other easily. The concept is known as 'bending space," but it's not even remotely that simple. See, the real problem lies in this," he indicated the bent part of the twig. "The bending of this intervening space...well, again, the underlying science is difficult to explain to those who don't have multiple degrees in astrophysics and temporal physics. But in lay-terms, we have to deal with 'where does all this extra space go?'"
Septimus Musk smiled. "Rest assured, we've figured this out. Instead of 'bending' space, as sci-fi writers would put it, we 'crumple' it." He used his hands to "wad up" the holographic twig in a ball. "This takes care of the 'extra space' problem, and allows us to travel anywhere on the 'twig' with relative ease. So this 'twig' might be the route to Alpha Centauri, but stops along the way could include the Mars Colonies, the Titan outpost, or anywhere in between. The possibilities are endless! And more importantly, it has already been done! Yes!" he said to the murmuring crowd, "last Tuesday we launched The Tesla Tunneler. It left at 10 a.m. Eastern, and arrived in orbit above Mars a mere 10 seconds later! It arrived before the message that it was leaving could be heard!"
He spread his hands out again, but the twig did not return to its normal form, but rather crinkled, with many of the folds remaining quite clear. "Now, we are still working out some of the kinks. We aren't offering commercial service just yet, as this method does leave to some 'creasing' of the fabric of time and space, but again, as we take this bold step forward, we are certain that our methods will quickly smooth out any such troubles." He waved his hand over the twig and the hologram smoothed out. "The universe is resilient, and soon any of us will be able to explore it."
"This is it, my fellow humans. From the dream started by my grandfather's grandfather, we slip the surly bonds of mere physics! Now...WE RISE!"
Again the thunderous applause drowned out all other sound, including a voiceover disclaimer that started as Septimus Musk left the stage: "In compliance with 'The President Warren Consumer Protection Act' of 2029, the following side effects of the 'Crumple Drive' have been reported: headaches; fever; spontaneous orgasm; achiness; a sensation of a sneeze being performed in reverse; the feeling of pins and needles akin to a foot falling asleep, but in the traveler's canine teeth; and the spontaneous appearance of extra toes on the feet and lower extremities. Extraneous digits usually disappear in two to three days. Theoretically, these symptoms can extend to all those within a .5 AU distance of the flight path. The erasure of 24-168 hours of a personal timeline, with little or no recall of the lost time, has been very rarely reported. Do not stand near a Crumple Drive if you are pregnant, have been pregnant, or expect to ever get pregnant in your lifetime, as retroactive birth defects are possible." | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "Okay, settle down you Klaforkians!" Herbo commanded the students. "I know that yesterday's news has us all excited. Let's talk about it! Who has a question?"
"What do they look like?" Young Booly asked.
"The humans?" Herbo heartily chuckled. "They're fleshy, four-limbed, upright, and a little shorter than you are."
"Oh! Teacher!" Young Spooku raised her hypertentacle. "Are they evil? Will they eat us?"
Herbo expected such silly questions and laughed. "No, they won't eat us. I don't think they are evil, but humans are... very reckless."
Herbo nodded his head and grinned as he motioned to the students to calm down. They grew more energetic by the second- as to be expected. A new starfaring species hasn't risen in several generations!
"Why are humans reckless?" Young Zari questioned.
"Well," Herbo thought. "Do you know how we travel such great distances so quickly?"
"Of course!" The students all replied in unison. Young Jujuju smugly spoke, "Our spaceships bend the space in front of them and *WHOOOOOOOOSH!*"
The class merrily chuckled. "Yes," Herbo explained. "Our smartest Klaforkian scientists discovered long ago that if our spaceships bend the space in front it, we could travel great distances much quicker than the universe wanted us to. The universe's speed limit no longer applied to us."
"Teacher," Young Booly asked. "Is it illegal to break the universe's speed limit?"
Herbo couldn't resist an enormous smile. "No, Young Booly. The universe won't arrest us for breaking its speed limit."
"Oh," Young Jujuju spoke again. "The Plurpians go faster than light speed because they teleport in *WORM HOLES*!"
"Very good, Young Jujuju," Herbo said. "And the Narlans break the universe's speed limit because they can travel through time itself. Narlans arrive at their destination before they leave!"
The students knew all of this, of course. They learned about starfaring species' faster-than-light methods in 24th grade science.
"How do humans break the speed of light?" Young Spooku asked.
"Well," Herbo started. "This is why they are so reckless. Humans can travel faster than the speed of light because they change the speed of light itself. This is why we don't think humans are stupid; they are just stupidly careless."
The students sat thinking about what Herbo had told them. For the first time since class started, they were all silent.
Finally, Young Jujuju broke the silence. "If humans change the speed of light itself, then they can travel faster than light. But doesn't that mean that they are still very slow?"
"Yes it does, Young Jujuju," Herbo confirmed. "Those slow, reckless humans." | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. "In any event, we didn't succeed either, they- ah, crap, got the time wrong again."
The empty Hall agreed with the Kantian's assessment. The flummoxed emissary sighed, summoned the Kantian gate again, and promptly disappeared into an inky black portal.
---
"Who's going to stand up to the humans? Not us," insisted the Salaccian blob, swelling to twice its size to emphasise its point. "We're done doing the UG's dirty work. Get someone else to do it. Maybe the Maltiuns may want to actually be useful this time, hmm?"
The reprisal from the Maltiun android from across the giant round table was immediate and swift. "I resent that! We have done our part just as much as any other species has!" she yelled, slamming her first into the prized Goratian wood. "Strick that comment from the record!"
Ooopoo, the Delfantian stingray who had the unfortunate luck to be presiding over this emergency meeting, sighed.
"Please, everyone, focus. Let's not lose sight of the agenda here. We have to decide what steps we're taking to rein in those damned humans before they destroy the entire galaxy, so I implore you, leave your petty squabbles by the side."
Ooopoo waited for further objections, but the table had fallen silent. Perhaps they are finally realising how serious this is, he thought.
"Any updates on whether the humans are willing to adopt our faster-than-light technology instead?"
"We've offered ours," said the Maltiun android, "the latest Wave Riding prototypes even. Faster, cleaner, cheaper than ever before."
"And?"
"Rejected, outright. Uncool, they said. Old-fashioned, they said." The Maltiun android sulked, as its floppy diskettes ejected out of their slots, the classic Maltiun indicator of unhappiness.
"Blobby? You guys had better luck?" said Ooopoo, addressing the Salaccian, who were not known for creative names.
"None. They said our Skip Drives gave them bowel discomfort. We said that's nonsense, look at us, we're fine. They said, sure but they aren't sentient gelatinous blobs. We didn't have a good response to that."
Ooopoo turned then to the empty seat at the table, then said in a loud voice, "What about you guys, you lazy bastards who never arrive on time?"
"I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. It had the most smug smile on its face, for reasons best known to itself. "In any event, we didn't succeed either. They really, really resented how our Kantian Gating had the added benefit of allowing them to travel through time. They said everyone would just spend their time travelling back in time to kill a painter, then save him, then kill him, then again and again and again."
Ooopoo rubbed his forehead with his tail, trying to stave off the incipient headache. "Well, I needn't remind you of how their current technology is causing problems for us all. This hologram of the latest security incident should show you what I mean."
The hologram started playing then, and everyone recgonised it as the official coronation on Planet Goratia, where the once-in-a-century change of power was happening.
Then, right as the Goratian King handed the Scepter of Power to his scion, a bunch of humans popped into existence, right on the stage. Everyone cringed as the humans stumbled around, hugged Goratians, high-fived each other. Bloodshed soon ensued once one of the humans started taking a dump on what he assumed was a tree stump, but which everyone knew was really just the young Goratian princess, quietly minding her business. Who of course, now had to deal with other people's business.
"See?" said Ooopoo. "I just don't understand why they are choosing that highly reckless, inefficient way of FTL travel!"
"If I may," offered Blobby, "they tried to explain it to me. They said that they had been consuming hallucinogens for the better part of their history, and that they had always longed to be able to visit the places they saw in their intoxicated states."
"Yes, and once they discovered that the places they saw were actually real places, just very, very far away, they poured all their efforts into discovering how to teleport there," said the Maltiun android. "I still think it's stupid, but I can understand where the attraction lies."
Ooopoo sighed. He fished out a box he had brought along, then laid bare its contents on the table. First a vial of vile black liquid, then two more vials of clear liquid, then finally a set of Delfanitian restraints, the very same unbreakable bonds which their species used to patch stars back together.
"Sir, is that... Do you mean to..."
"What choice do we have?" said Ooopoo, "we have to summon the Earth emissaries for a serious talk. This has got to stop."
"Then... Are we going to torture them?" said the Kantian arachnid, mandibles twitching. "Are those the famed Huulovian cocktail, which kills any species after hours of prolonged pain, unless the black antidote is administered?"
"What? These? Heavens no. It's just Earthling coffee and water. It's the fastest way to bring them down from their weed high, I believe."
---
/r/rarelyfunny | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Tenz looked at the human ship they were about to buy, it was the only thing they could afford at the moment and they needed to get away ASAP. The seller assured them that the FTL drive was completely safe, a Sol Stop Drive, that was the type of FTL drive it had. Tenz had heard horror stories about what could go wrong with Sol Stop Drives. Every other FTL drive that was ever made was about going very, very fast or making other things go very very fast. The Sol Stop drive did the opposite. It stops the entire universe, shifts your ship into another plane of existence and waits till it drifts to where you wanted to go then brings you back and lets the universe continue. That's at least what the humans told everyone it did, none of the other races understood how it worked. Tenz could think up thousands of ways that the Stop drive could go wrong, some of these were real problems with it, others were just theories. Firstly there's the surprise of something just appearing with no warning, other things crash into it, and some other drives use the same plane of existence the Stop drive supposedly uses so we know that's safe but those ones don't stop the universe so you can still get a signal from them approaching. And then there's the whole "stopping the universe" what would happen if a Stop Drive malfunctioned and the universe never got restarted? The scariest thing about that is that it could have already happened and nobody would ever know! Steeling themselves Tenz stepped into the ship and put in some universal co-ordinates, then pressed the stop button.
Nothing happened, and nothing was going to happen either, as this universe was stopped.
In another reality Tenz pulled their tentacle back from the stop button and looked out the view port to see that they had arrived, there must have been nothing to worry about after all.
Edit: Thanks for the Gold! | We had made contact with the inhabitants of TH-49, or, as they called it, Earth. Unlike every other species we've encountered, we didn't come to them. Rather, they came to us. With this came a few different problems. Firstly, we didn't have any forms of diplomatic greeting prepared. They had caught us with our metaphorical pants down, so our first conversations were rather rushed and sloppy. Not a great start to meeting a major species. Another problem with this is that we never had the chance to share our advanced FTL technology with them. It wasn't much, just the framework for FTL travel, and the various species that we had encountered and shared this with all did something different with it. Teleportation, wormholes, bending space, and so on and so forth. In the end, however, the results were all the same: sleek, elegant, completely safe travel at speeds faster than light. These humans, however, had created a much different approach.
I'll never forget the sight I saw from my viewport when they first arrived. Hundreds, if not thousands, of things that I would hesitate to call ships suddenly appeared outside of one of our most populated stations. These ships bore no sign of our technology, and were bulky, hideous creations. Where smooth, flowing corners should have led from the front of the ship to the engines laid harsh forty-five degree angles. Every side was painted bright red and almost completely flat, not counting the engines. Oh lord, the engines. Large, seemingly combustion-based engines engulfed the backs of the ships, looking as if the ships were stuffed full of them, with the engines only managing to tear through at the back.
Our first conversation was televised across the entire station, with their primitive language automatically translated to what we could understand.
"Greetings, inhabitants of TH-49," announced our ambassador, "We did not know you had developed such advanced technology, so we apologize for not quite being ready to greet you as of this moment."
"Apology accepted, aliens," replied a human, presumably the ambassador, "After all, we expected that you'd be too blown away by our technology to even speak."
"Yes, yes. This truly is an..." Our ambassador hesitated for a moment, presumably to rack his brain for a compliment, "...Inventive form of space travel. May I please ask who created this system?"
"Well, you're talking to him right now," the human responded boldly, "Name's John. John Kerbal."
----------------------------------
So this was my first ever time writing a writing prompt, and I would like a little bit of feedback on how it turned out. Anything helps! | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | "I'll try to explain ... the problem is ... it's not THAT you can travel faster than light." the small alien said, sheepishly. "It's how you do it."
She continued, "To be honest, it's creepy."
Doug stared at her blankly. "Go on ..."
"Ok , you know how FTL works for the rest of us, right?" She cocked her head a bit.
Doug listened to her, but wasn't really paying attention - his mind was on her, specifically, how similar she was to him and every other human. Aliens, or rather 'intelligent beings' it turns out, had generally fallen in to two categories: humanoid, and swarm. For the most part, all humanoids looked the same: slender, upright, various colors of skin and eyes depending on the their home star's primary color, even oddly similar genitalia. Evolution, it seemed, preferred a certain shape. Humans were a little bit odd by galactic standards because of their size relative to other humanoids - roughly three times the size and five times the mass of other humanoids.
"... are you listening at all?", She snapped. Her shrill tone popped Doug back in to the situation.
"Yeah! No .. got it .. creepy." He paused for a moment. "But it's not like we're actually doing that, right? No one is watching anyone in the shower, or in some secret war room, or anything like that."
Most alien FTL drives worked by manipulating spacetime in such a way as to compress the space in front of the ship, or expand the space behind it, or warp it n such a way that the local (to the ship) speed of light wasn't exceeded; it was space itself that was altered and the ship just rode the wave. A lot of alien corporation marketed this technology in many ways under many names, Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy.
Rather than warp anything, humanity's FTL solution was, essentially, to flatten the universe relative to the ship, allowing the ship to view the universe as a sheet of paper. In doing so, the ship could pick a point in the universe and appear there nearly instantly. Most of the transit time was spent simply finding a place to go.
There was, a side effect. By pushing a ship up in this way, the entire universe became viewable down to the atom. Meaning that at any point, someone in a human ship could be watching someone else take a shower, or plan a war, or really -- anything, anytime, anywhere. It was unsettling, to almost everyone.
"I get your point though." Doug said.
She was fairly attractive as far as aliens go, and one of the taller species around. He figured he'd peek in on her next transit. Surely she takes showers.
| |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | The chamber illumination dimmed and the milky sim tank faded to life. A thousand eyes stared intently from the council benches, and a trillion more from across the five galaxies.
A deep voice, set on edge with urgency and well-contained fear, began its narration of the sim.
"The Brevis' star system surveillance node 47 has, it has been reported, recorded first contact with the species self-identifying as Humans. This much has already been announced. What has not yet been announced is that an analysis of the event has been completed, and their method of travel has thrown a black flag, gamma zero priority. Observe."
The sim showed a small moon below, surrounded by a halo of probes similar to the one that must be recording the image. In the far distance, the volumetric compensation showed a grossly enlarged blue planet on another orbital track, the Brevis' home world Herol. The orbital motion of the probes had been smooth and obvious, but now they slowed.
"We are showing the event at a reduced speed. Watch carefully."
Without warning, the entire projection dimmed as a single point of incredible, actinic light burst from the space next to the moon and raced away from its surface. As one, the closer orbiting probes glowed white-hot and began to disintegrate. The image wavered and then froze.
"Now, focus your attention on the exact location this phenomenon appeared, and keep your attention on that spot as the light moves away."
The image reversed, and the killing glow moved back to its original location. It slowly crept back outwards as the sim zoomed in. There, in the wake of the glow, was a ship, shaped like a mushroom with its cap to the light. Vaporised hull matter streamed from the smooth side facing the light, some sort of ablative heat shielding.
"We had never seen this effect before. We assumed it was some sort of deceleration technique, until we looked at it from the planetary defence network."
The perspective in the sim shifted, as if travelling to the distant planet. The moon and its halo of probes shrank, then grew again due to the volumetric compensation. The sim was normal again for a moment, before that terrible light appeared, an incredible distance from the moon this time, and immediately split into two lights, travelling away from each other at greater than the speed of light.
An audible click reverberated around the chamber as each of the species in attendance simultaneously inhaled on their breathing apparatuses.
"As you can see, the motion of the light is a relativistic illusion. The light doesn't travel, it exists simultaneously at all points in a column for a moment, then dissipates. The energy requirement is staggering. After calculating an intercept to the closest habitable world on the trajectory described by the light column, it appears their world is four hundred light-years away. The humans claim a similar distance, and their navigational data also confirm it. From this we can calculate the energy release as being consistent with a type III civilisation."
What had previously been a gentle series of clicks was now a cacophony, the seats shaking with the bodily gyrations of the assembled dignitaries. Some wailed, others laughed, most were silent.
"We have brought the leader of the human expedition here, with her agreement, of course."
The noises of discomfort reached a crashing crescendo, as several of the delegates jumped out of their seats and bolted for the exit.
The disembodied voice thundered, "ORDER!"
"I present to you, Chakor, Human, of planet Earth."
The creature that stepped into the chamber was unimpressive, physically. Bipedal, endoskeletal, wearing some sort of almost completely covering clothing with various decals affixed to it. The remaining delegates seemed to calm a little, their agitation lowering to a gentle swaying. The Human addressed the crowd.
"Greetings, delegates of the local group. My name is Chakor, I represent my species, Human, and wish to express our honour in meeting you all. We come in peace."
The room quietened further, and the booming voice sounded again. "Chakor will now take moderated questions from the floor. Please enter your queries for analysis and amalgamation."
A few awkward moments passed, Chakor looking out among the delegates. They varied from bipeds with heads and arms of various number to floating creatures in some sort of water tanks, through to creatures much more... alien.
"First question. The energy output of your drive technology is beyond immense. You must be capturing the energy output of most of a galaxy, somewhere. How can it be that we have not noticed the birth of a type III civilisation under our watch?"
Chakor paused to think before she replied, clearly confused. "We are not a type III civilisation. We are barely a type I. We just discovered a way to manipulate the nature of reality."
The voice didn't even wait to consult the accumulating list of vetted questions. "What?! How?"
"When we accidentally created and shot a cluster of miniature black holes through our particle collider's detectors, we discovered that the vacuum of space was not at the true ground state of the universe. This lent is an opportunity to use the difference in energy levels to complete an until-then hypothetical method of propulsion."
The room exploded into roars, gurgles, and screeches of outrage.
"Your drive is powered by triggering a collapse of fundamental reality?!"
"Not quite, if you'd let me finish. After we discovered the false vacuum was the current skein of the universe, we found that at the moment of triggering a vacuum state collapse, it was possible to entangle an arbitrary length of vacuum in a beam away from the source, and trigger the collapse simultaneously and instantaneously along that path."
Guards in the chamber drew their weapons as several delegates rose on their hindlimbs as if to attack.
"Chakor, this is madness! Your drive cannot work as you describe, or we wouldn't have any video of your arrival. A vacuum collapse would spread from wherever it started at the speed of light, unmaking the universe in its path!"
"Oh, yes we knew that. It turns out that the vacuum collapse provides enough energy to fold space into itself. In local proximity, one side of the event becomes the other. The space in between is clipped off like a twisted balloon, erased from having any bearing on existence. Our ship is instantaneously folded from one side of the beam to the other, and internal fields save us from having any biological changes. Of course, the collapse has to happen first by a few fractions of a microsecond, so there is some... energy leakage."
The chamber went suddenly silent.
The probe and planetary defence system had recorded an abomination, a gross violation of reality itself. The demonic light fleeing the Humans' strange vessel was the energetic corpse of a monster, come to open its maw and swallow the universe, inexorably, at the glacial speed of light. A fitting technology for a pursuit predator like the humans.
"You risk all our existence just to travel. How can we leave you free run of the galaxies?"
Chakor grinned. "We could always run one last wide beam to the ends of the universe and neglect to fold it away. How can you not?" | Xandar was fuming. 20 smismars he'd been waiting in the bowels of that horrible assembling of junk and metal the humans proudly called their *flagship of intergalactic friendship*. It was bad enough when those hairless pink monkeys made it to outer space but now they had developped a functioning FTL drive and that made them *worthy* of introduction into the Galactic Alliance.
In all his bismars as official technological investigators of the Galactic Alliance's scientific division, Xandar had never seen such a pathetic excuse for a ship. Neither he or any of his colleagues wanted to partake in this scientific inspection. They actually had to draw straws and to his utter disappointment, Xandar lost. Xarcy tried to cheer him up, noting that the human FTL drive was probably a dud anyway. Their first long distance drive was barely a stupid bedsheet catching solar wind, how could they have build a fully functioning FTL drive is such little time since.
21 smismars, where the hell was that pink ape that was supposed to show him the drive ? Xandar only wanted to get done with this and leave. The human vessel was small, cramped and much too warm for his taste. It also didn't help that everything was made to accomodate 6ft tall apes, at 9ft tall, a respectable height for a noble Glaxian like him, he was constantly banging his upper appendage on the ceiling and door frames.
Finally a metal door opened and 2 hairless apes ran toward him. The first one, pink and the second one dark brown. Fascinating thought Xandar, I've never seen such a dark colored ape. At least some decent scientific information. Maybe the science council would let him abduct such a specimen later on for testing. Humans usually didn't mind a few abduction here and there as long as you didn't touch the cows sleeping in the fields.
The 2 apes escorted Xandar to the engine room. The first thing that caught Xandar's attention was the intense heat coming from the doorway, much worst than the rest of the already hot vessel.
>Right this way Dr Xandar, you're gonna love this!
Words could barely describe the sights that laid in front of Xandar when he crossed into the room
*What the hell kind of piece of shit is that?*
>What, the FTL drive ?
>>Quite the beauty isn't she ?
The drive in question looked like a random pile of junk with tubes coming out of the sides, hot steam rising from them. The whole thing was red hot and there was a very annoying sound of pressured gas being shot into the machine at close interval. On top of the device sat 2 giant glowing green tubes.
*Are those Arthosian power cores ?*
>Yes, you have a good eye Dr Xandar.
*Where in the 5 stars did you get these ? Only a handful were ever created and the Arthosian guard them very closely*
>>We found them!
>Of yeah, came upon a space wreck near Alpha Centory IV and we managed to recover quite a lot of technology from it.
*Wait wait... you stole them from a broken ship ?*
>Not stole, never. We found them.
>>Space salvage!
*Does the Arthosian empire know you're using stolen tech ?*
>I dunno, they never complained about it before you brought it up.
Xandar was flaggerbasted, these hairless apes weren't just stupid, they were a menace.
*Fine, walk me trough it*
>Oh you're gonna love this doc. By stripping the neutrino element of the 2 power cores and jerryrigging them together, we managed to create a power unit strong enough to blast trough the fabric of spacetime, and into the slipstream.
*Wait a minute, you stripped the power core of its protective shielding ?*
>Why yes.
>>It was really annoying really, hiding all the good stuff.
*ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! Those a radiation shielding, this stuff is extremely dangerous*
>I know that, we all know that
>>It needed to be done. Beside, we added some plasma shielding to it.
>Yes, it should do the job... enough.
*Jesus fucking christ.... continue*
>Well, as I was saying, the drive allows us to punch our way into the slipstream and from there we can modify the flow of radiation emited by the power cores, enabling us to navigate different planes of the stream.
>>It's like a chose you own adventure travel book. Add a gamma variant to the radiation cocktail and you can move faster, replace it by a theta variant and you can navigate, for lack of a better word, "UP" into the 4th dimension.
*How do you exit the slipstreem ?*
>Well, we found that injecting a low level ion isopote directly into the power core will create an instability in the stream that causes the ship to be ejected, albeith rather violently.
>>Yes, the first test vessel exploded on exit.
*My god, this is catastrophic*
>We thought so to, so insted we just shut off the drive and the ship gets ejected much more softly.
*What... no! I mean... this whole system is horrible...*
>It's not so bad once you work out the kinks
*But how.... this must be ridiculously unstable !?*
>Oh boy... that's an understatement
>>You have to understand, all this only works if we keep the core overheated to exactly 3,568 degrees.
>Oh yes, any variation of over 2.75 degrees and the whole thing would go kablewy
*This is nuts, how do you maintain the temperature ? I see no adaptive secluar temporal module anywhere*
>Don't have one
>>Yeah, this fancy stuff is much too complicated and too hard to get your hands on.
>For now we use a system of pressure injected water and nitrogen
*You forcecool it under pressure ?*
>Exactly! I knew you'd get it doc.
>>We alternate between injecting pressurized water and nitrogen to cool off the core with a 1.5 seconds interval between each injection
*What?.... that's....how!?*
>You know.... too hot, blast it with nitrogen. Too cold, switch to water. Perfect temperature, do nothing. We evaluate the temperature every 2 seconds and Frank over there pulls the switch to inject the correct cooling substance.
*So none of this is automated ?*
>Nah, we're hoping to find a suitable automated cooling mechanism soon though.
*Like what? A water tin can on a string with a hole on the bottom ?*
>>Well no that's.... hey that's actually a good idea
>Yeah, we should look into that.
*Allright.... not taking into consideration the immense safety concern, not to mention decent common sens, this thing appears extremely dangerous and also in violation of at least a dozen galactic regulations on plasma use and timestream protocoles, and that's just for starters*
>Really?
>>Well that's a bummer for sure
*I must ask, with all this violent punching around the slipstream, how does your system deal with excess radiations and temporal aftershock effects ?*
>Come again ?
*The extreme side effects of your shitty system!!*
>Oh that. I dunno, whatever happens in the slipstream stays in the slipstream I guess.
>>Yeah, I mean it's not like we plan on living in the stream you know. It's just a highway. You roll down the window and throw your trash out.
*Over 15 sentient species live in the stream, 4 of wich are official members of the Galactic Alliance.*
>Really, people live in there ?
*YES, THEY DO!*
>Well that's fucking stupid.
>>yeah, who in their right mind lives in a galactic highway ? That's dangerous, somebody could get hurt!
>And they call US crazy ? | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | A single spotlight appeared on the stage, and into it stepped a man who, as the phrase goes, truly needed no introduction. Every person watching knew who this was, whether they were in the stadium where every one of the 15,000 seats was fiiled, or watching from their homes. For the first time in history, billions were watching one single person.
"Good afternoon, fellow sentients. My name is Septimus Musk. It has been my pleasure to lead humanity in scientific revolution. I helped make flying cars safe. I made data transmission to contact lenses feasible. My robo-bees revolutionized pollenization, ending famine on this world and making life on Mars possible. But all this pales in comparison to my family's greatest failure."
"Centuries ago, my ancestor, Elon," he turned to point to a holographic bust, 20 feet tall, of the great inventor, "revolutionized the way the world looked at transportation. Some even call him a savior; certainly when he discovered the key to Martian colonization as he gazed into a bowl of Grape Nuts, he made certain that humanity would no longer be bound to just one planet."
"What confounded my fathers and grandfathers, and me, though, was the slow speed of interplanetary travel. Even with his great genius, travel to Mars took months, and those who went were never meant to return. That he did not crack the Light Barrier, he felt it was one of his greatest failings. Well, grandfather," Septimus turned to address the giant head floating over the stage behind him, "we have solved that very problem. Tonight, I reveal to you and to humanity that we are no longer bound by mortal physics. WE! Can now GO!" Septimus threw his arms into the air and yelled "FASTER THAN LIGHT!"
The crowd erupted in thunderous applause and the normally rock-steady cameras vibrated in the wake of their adulation. When Septimus lowered his arms again, however, the crowd drew silent just as quickly, eager to hear what he next had to say.
"The principle, dear humanity, is quite simple. Well, simple to express; trust me, it'll take more than a few iPhone Femtos to process these equations," he joked and the crowd laughed appropriately. He held up his hands and a hologram of a twig appeared. "It is a classic thought experiment; a ladybug at one end of a branch will take a long time to get to the other end." He curled his hands together, "bending" the twig so the two ends met. "But here, the ladybug can crawl from one end to the other easily. The concept is known as 'bending space," but it's not even remotely that simple. See, the real problem lies in this," he indicated the bent part of the twig. "The bending of this intervening space...well, again, the underlying science is difficult to explain to those who don't have multiple degrees in astrophysics and temporal physics. But in lay-terms, we have to deal with 'where does all this extra space go?'"
Septimus Musk smiled. "Rest assured, we've figured this out. Instead of 'bending' space, as sci-fi writers would put it, we 'crumple' it." He used his hands to "wad up" the holographic twig in a ball. "This takes care of the 'extra space' problem, and allows us to travel anywhere on the 'twig' with relative ease. So this 'twig' might be the route to Alpha Centauri, but stops along the way could include the Mars Colonies, the Titan outpost, or anywhere in between. The possibilities are endless! And more importantly, it has already been done! Yes!" he said to the murmuring crowd, "last Tuesday we launched The Tesla Tunneler. It left at 10 a.m. Eastern, and arrived in orbit above Mars a mere 10 seconds later! It arrived before the message that it was leaving could be heard!"
He spread his hands out again, but the twig did not return to its normal form, but rather crinkled, with many of the folds remaining quite clear. "Now, we are still working out some of the kinks. We aren't offering commercial service just yet, as this method does leave to some 'creasing' of the fabric of time and space, but again, as we take this bold step forward, we are certain that our methods will quickly smooth out any such troubles." He waved his hand over the twig and the hologram smoothed out. "The universe is resilient, and soon any of us will be able to explore it."
"This is it, my fellow humans. From the dream started by my grandfather's grandfather, we slip the surly bonds of mere physics! Now...WE RISE!"
Again the thunderous applause drowned out all other sound, including a voiceover disclaimer that started as Septimus Musk left the stage: "In compliance with 'The President Warren Consumer Protection Act' of 2029, the following side effects of the 'Crumple Drive' have been reported: headaches; fever; spontaneous orgasm; achiness; a sensation of a sneeze being performed in reverse; the feeling of pins and needles akin to a foot falling asleep, but in the traveler's canine teeth; and the spontaneous appearance of extra toes on the feet and lower extremities. Extraneous digits usually disappear in two to three days. Theoretically, these symptoms can extend to all those within a .5 AU distance of the flight path. The erasure of 24-168 hours of a personal timeline, with little or no recall of the lost time, has been very rarely reported. Do not stand near a Crumple Drive if you are pregnant, have been pregnant, or expect to ever get pregnant in your lifetime, as retroactive birth defects are possible." | Astronaut Jack Wilson sat facing the large conference call screen. Around him on both sides, generals, politicians,
diplomats… too many suits and uniforms to count. All sitting. All facing the screen.
The president stared blankly at Jack. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Jack said, nervously.
"Brian," the president commanded, to the thin man with the round glasses on the corner Jack knew was the
physicist in charge of the teleportation project, "Turn on the call." The president sighed, then added, "You idiot."
Brian got up and, shaking, went for the remote. He turned on the screen.
Astronaut Jack Wilson stared back from the other side of the call.
Jack frowned. "What the –"
"No, *I* get to say that, you don't," The onscreen Jack said. Behind him, a large window gave way to an alien
landscape of blue and green. "What the fuck!?"
Jack looked around. All the suited men looked down, embarrassed.
"Brian," the president said, turning again to the nerdy-looking physicist. "You wanna explain this shit?"
"Yeah, *Brian*," Onscreen Jack said. "You wanna explain this shit!?"
Brian shook like a leaf. He stood up from his seat again and stared at Jack (the one in the room). "I'm so sorry
Captain Wilson. It looks like there was a little bit of a problem with the teleportation device."
Jack looked from him to the room to the Jack onscreen. "What's going on?"
"Tell him, *asshole*!" Onscreen Jack bellowed.
"It appears that the teleportation device did, huh… well, it did what it was supposed to do. Which was to map your
body, atom by atom, then replicate it at the specific location we wanted you to go. In this case, the planet in the Gliese system, where the Gliesians, who made contact with us five years ago, were to receive you."
"Hu-huh," Jack said. "Huh… how exactly did it work? Because you told me something had gone wrong when I
stepped out of the device yesterday and was still, you know… on Earth." Jack kept looking from Brian to the mysterious onscreen Jack, who now rolled his eyes.
"This guy is my original? This stupid ass?" Onscreen Jack blurted.
"Well, Captain Wilson," Brian continued, "It did work in the sense that your body *was* mapped and then
recreated on Gliese. It's just that… your body here wasn't disintegrated like it was supposed to."
"So that means…" Jack started.
"That there's another one of you up here in Gliese, *idiot*," Onscreen Jack said. "Good Lord this guy is dumb."
"I'm afraid Jack Number Two is right," Brian said, his voice weak. "We sent a copy of you to Gliese, instead of the
real you."
Jack waited. No one said anything.
The president got up, slapped the table and said, "Well, I'll be in the Oval Office waiting for the impeachment." He
left.
"There's more," Brian said, after the room grew quiet again.
"*There's more*," Onscreen Jack repeated, in a mocking voice. "Fucking nerd."
"What? What more?" Jack asked. He couldn't get his eyes off of his clone onscreen.
"Well… it also happened that… by accident, mind you… we… huh… we sort of accidentally sent a copy of you to
some other places too."
"What!?"
"Yeah, like… to pretty much every known inhabited planet in the universe," Brian blurted. "It was an accident, the
machine read our whole galactic map instead of just the specific location we wanted to send you to."
Brian went for the remote again and, with a click, several other feeds took over the screen – and in each, after a
moment of static, a new Jack emerged, each framed by a new and alien landscape. Each framed by a new, faraway
planet.
"What is going on!? I'm scared!" one Jack said.
"Where's the food? I'm hungry!" cried another, on another feed.
"DRUGS! DRUGS! I NEED DRUGS!" a third one cried.
"How… what… I… what is… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Jack asked. He was up on his feet now.
"Well… you know how Chaos Theory establishes that a single variation at a certain point on a closed system can
result in massive variation on a future point in that same system?"
"No!" Jack said, which was true.
"Idiot," Second Jack said.
"Well, it turns out that the slight atomic variations in the replications of your DNA coding when transporting you to
these other planets has led to a… huh… a little bit of a boo-boo."
"Meaning?"
"There's a massive number of Jacks with infinitely different personalities spread across the universe, and we have
to go capture them all before they start an intergalactic war," Brian said, in a single breath.
Silence took over the room. Even the Jacks onscreen remained quiet (except for Jack Two, who said, "God-damn
stupid fucks," and then left the frame).
"Is this serious?" Jack asked.
No one answered.
The door came open and the president returned. His hair was messy, his tie undone and he was holding tight to a
Jack Daniels bottle. He put a hand over Jack's shoulder and said, his breath wrapped in whiskey, "Oh, yes, it's very
serious. Pack up your crap, you and Brian are going Jack-hunting."
Jack looked at Brian. Brian swallowed dry and tried to smile.
"You guys are fucking assholes," cried a voice from onscreen, coming from Second Jack's feed.
___
[**PART 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/psycho_alpaca/comments/62jf1m/infinite_jacks_part_2/)
/r/psycho_alpaca | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "Okay, settle down you Klaforkians!" Herbo commanded the students. "I know that yesterday's news has us all excited. Let's talk about it! Who has a question?"
"What do they look like?" Young Booly asked.
"The humans?" Herbo heartily chuckled. "They're fleshy, four-limbed, upright, and a little shorter than you are."
"Oh! Teacher!" Young Spooku raised her hypertentacle. "Are they evil? Will they eat us?"
Herbo expected such silly questions and laughed. "No, they won't eat us. I don't think they are evil, but humans are... very reckless."
Herbo nodded his head and grinned as he motioned to the students to calm down. They grew more energetic by the second- as to be expected. A new starfaring species hasn't risen in several generations!
"Why are humans reckless?" Young Zari questioned.
"Well," Herbo thought. "Do you know how we travel such great distances so quickly?"
"Of course!" The students all replied in unison. Young Jujuju smugly spoke, "Our spaceships bend the space in front of them and *WHOOOOOOOOSH!*"
The class merrily chuckled. "Yes," Herbo explained. "Our smartest Klaforkian scientists discovered long ago that if our spaceships bend the space in front it, we could travel great distances much quicker than the universe wanted us to. The universe's speed limit no longer applied to us."
"Teacher," Young Booly asked. "Is it illegal to break the universe's speed limit?"
Herbo couldn't resist an enormous smile. "No, Young Booly. The universe won't arrest us for breaking its speed limit."
"Oh," Young Jujuju spoke again. "The Plurpians go faster than light speed because they teleport in *WORM HOLES*!"
"Very good, Young Jujuju," Herbo said. "And the Narlans break the universe's speed limit because they can travel through time itself. Narlans arrive at their destination before they leave!"
The students knew all of this, of course. They learned about starfaring species' faster-than-light methods in 24th grade science.
"How do humans break the speed of light?" Young Spooku asked.
"Well," Herbo started. "This is why they are so reckless. Humans can travel faster than the speed of light because they change the speed of light itself. This is why we don't think humans are stupid; they are just stupidly careless."
The students sat thinking about what Herbo had told them. For the first time since class started, they were all silent.
Finally, Young Jujuju broke the silence. "If humans change the speed of light itself, then they can travel faster than light. But doesn't that mean that they are still very slow?"
"Yes it does, Young Jujuju," Herbo confirmed. "Those slow, reckless humans." | Astronaut Jack Wilson sat facing the large conference call screen. Around him on both sides, generals, politicians,
diplomats… too many suits and uniforms to count. All sitting. All facing the screen.
The president stared blankly at Jack. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Jack said, nervously.
"Brian," the president commanded, to the thin man with the round glasses on the corner Jack knew was the
physicist in charge of the teleportation project, "Turn on the call." The president sighed, then added, "You idiot."
Brian got up and, shaking, went for the remote. He turned on the screen.
Astronaut Jack Wilson stared back from the other side of the call.
Jack frowned. "What the –"
"No, *I* get to say that, you don't," The onscreen Jack said. Behind him, a large window gave way to an alien
landscape of blue and green. "What the fuck!?"
Jack looked around. All the suited men looked down, embarrassed.
"Brian," the president said, turning again to the nerdy-looking physicist. "You wanna explain this shit?"
"Yeah, *Brian*," Onscreen Jack said. "You wanna explain this shit!?"
Brian shook like a leaf. He stood up from his seat again and stared at Jack (the one in the room). "I'm so sorry
Captain Wilson. It looks like there was a little bit of a problem with the teleportation device."
Jack looked from him to the room to the Jack onscreen. "What's going on?"
"Tell him, *asshole*!" Onscreen Jack bellowed.
"It appears that the teleportation device did, huh… well, it did what it was supposed to do. Which was to map your
body, atom by atom, then replicate it at the specific location we wanted you to go. In this case, the planet in the Gliese system, where the Gliesians, who made contact with us five years ago, were to receive you."
"Hu-huh," Jack said. "Huh… how exactly did it work? Because you told me something had gone wrong when I
stepped out of the device yesterday and was still, you know… on Earth." Jack kept looking from Brian to the mysterious onscreen Jack, who now rolled his eyes.
"This guy is my original? This stupid ass?" Onscreen Jack blurted.
"Well, Captain Wilson," Brian continued, "It did work in the sense that your body *was* mapped and then
recreated on Gliese. It's just that… your body here wasn't disintegrated like it was supposed to."
"So that means…" Jack started.
"That there's another one of you up here in Gliese, *idiot*," Onscreen Jack said. "Good Lord this guy is dumb."
"I'm afraid Jack Number Two is right," Brian said, his voice weak. "We sent a copy of you to Gliese, instead of the
real you."
Jack waited. No one said anything.
The president got up, slapped the table and said, "Well, I'll be in the Oval Office waiting for the impeachment." He
left.
"There's more," Brian said, after the room grew quiet again.
"*There's more*," Onscreen Jack repeated, in a mocking voice. "Fucking nerd."
"What? What more?" Jack asked. He couldn't get his eyes off of his clone onscreen.
"Well… it also happened that… by accident, mind you… we… huh… we sort of accidentally sent a copy of you to
some other places too."
"What!?"
"Yeah, like… to pretty much every known inhabited planet in the universe," Brian blurted. "It was an accident, the
machine read our whole galactic map instead of just the specific location we wanted to send you to."
Brian went for the remote again and, with a click, several other feeds took over the screen – and in each, after a
moment of static, a new Jack emerged, each framed by a new and alien landscape. Each framed by a new, faraway
planet.
"What is going on!? I'm scared!" one Jack said.
"Where's the food? I'm hungry!" cried another, on another feed.
"DRUGS! DRUGS! I NEED DRUGS!" a third one cried.
"How… what… I… what is… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Jack asked. He was up on his feet now.
"Well… you know how Chaos Theory establishes that a single variation at a certain point on a closed system can
result in massive variation on a future point in that same system?"
"No!" Jack said, which was true.
"Idiot," Second Jack said.
"Well, it turns out that the slight atomic variations in the replications of your DNA coding when transporting you to
these other planets has led to a… huh… a little bit of a boo-boo."
"Meaning?"
"There's a massive number of Jacks with infinitely different personalities spread across the universe, and we have
to go capture them all before they start an intergalactic war," Brian said, in a single breath.
Silence took over the room. Even the Jacks onscreen remained quiet (except for Jack Two, who said, "God-damn
stupid fucks," and then left the frame).
"Is this serious?" Jack asked.
No one answered.
The door came open and the president returned. His hair was messy, his tie undone and he was holding tight to a
Jack Daniels bottle. He put a hand over Jack's shoulder and said, his breath wrapped in whiskey, "Oh, yes, it's very
serious. Pack up your crap, you and Brian are going Jack-hunting."
Jack looked at Brian. Brian swallowed dry and tried to smile.
"You guys are fucking assholes," cried a voice from onscreen, coming from Second Jack's feed.
___
[**PART 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/psycho_alpaca/comments/62jf1m/infinite_jacks_part_2/)
/r/psycho_alpaca | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. "In any event, we didn't succeed either, they- ah, crap, got the time wrong again."
The empty Hall agreed with the Kantian's assessment. The flummoxed emissary sighed, summoned the Kantian gate again, and promptly disappeared into an inky black portal.
---
"Who's going to stand up to the humans? Not us," insisted the Salaccian blob, swelling to twice its size to emphasise its point. "We're done doing the UG's dirty work. Get someone else to do it. Maybe the Maltiuns may want to actually be useful this time, hmm?"
The reprisal from the Maltiun android from across the giant round table was immediate and swift. "I resent that! We have done our part just as much as any other species has!" she yelled, slamming her first into the prized Goratian wood. "Strick that comment from the record!"
Ooopoo, the Delfantian stingray who had the unfortunate luck to be presiding over this emergency meeting, sighed.
"Please, everyone, focus. Let's not lose sight of the agenda here. We have to decide what steps we're taking to rein in those damned humans before they destroy the entire galaxy, so I implore you, leave your petty squabbles by the side."
Ooopoo waited for further objections, but the table had fallen silent. Perhaps they are finally realising how serious this is, he thought.
"Any updates on whether the humans are willing to adopt our faster-than-light technology instead?"
"We've offered ours," said the Maltiun android, "the latest Wave Riding prototypes even. Faster, cleaner, cheaper than ever before."
"And?"
"Rejected, outright. Uncool, they said. Old-fashioned, they said." The Maltiun android sulked, as its floppy diskettes ejected out of their slots, the classic Maltiun indicator of unhappiness.
"Blobby? You guys had better luck?" said Ooopoo, addressing the Salaccian, who were not known for creative names.
"None. They said our Skip Drives gave them bowel discomfort. We said that's nonsense, look at us, we're fine. They said, sure but they aren't sentient gelatinous blobs. We didn't have a good response to that."
Ooopoo turned then to the empty seat at the table, then said in a loud voice, "What about you guys, you lazy bastards who never arrive on time?"
"I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. It had the most smug smile on its face, for reasons best known to itself. "In any event, we didn't succeed either. They really, really resented how our Kantian Gating had the added benefit of allowing them to travel through time. They said everyone would just spend their time travelling back in time to kill a painter, then save him, then kill him, then again and again and again."
Ooopoo rubbed his forehead with his tail, trying to stave off the incipient headache. "Well, I needn't remind you of how their current technology is causing problems for us all. This hologram of the latest security incident should show you what I mean."
The hologram started playing then, and everyone recgonised it as the official coronation on Planet Goratia, where the once-in-a-century change of power was happening.
Then, right as the Goratian King handed the Scepter of Power to his scion, a bunch of humans popped into existence, right on the stage. Everyone cringed as the humans stumbled around, hugged Goratians, high-fived each other. Bloodshed soon ensued once one of the humans started taking a dump on what he assumed was a tree stump, but which everyone knew was really just the young Goratian princess, quietly minding her business. Who of course, now had to deal with other people's business.
"See?" said Ooopoo. "I just don't understand why they are choosing that highly reckless, inefficient way of FTL travel!"
"If I may," offered Blobby, "they tried to explain it to me. They said that they had been consuming hallucinogens for the better part of their history, and that they had always longed to be able to visit the places they saw in their intoxicated states."
"Yes, and once they discovered that the places they saw were actually real places, just very, very far away, they poured all their efforts into discovering how to teleport there," said the Maltiun android. "I still think it's stupid, but I can understand where the attraction lies."
Ooopoo sighed. He fished out a box he had brought along, then laid bare its contents on the table. First a vial of vile black liquid, then two more vials of clear liquid, then finally a set of Delfanitian restraints, the very same unbreakable bonds which their species used to patch stars back together.
"Sir, is that... Do you mean to..."
"What choice do we have?" said Ooopoo, "we have to summon the Earth emissaries for a serious talk. This has got to stop."
"Then... Are we going to torture them?" said the Kantian arachnid, mandibles twitching. "Are those the famed Huulovian cocktail, which kills any species after hours of prolonged pain, unless the black antidote is administered?"
"What? These? Heavens no. It's just Earthling coffee and water. It's the fastest way to bring them down from their weed high, I believe."
---
/r/rarelyfunny | Astronaut Jack Wilson sat facing the large conference call screen. Around him on both sides, generals, politicians,
diplomats… too many suits and uniforms to count. All sitting. All facing the screen.
The president stared blankly at Jack. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Jack said, nervously.
"Brian," the president commanded, to the thin man with the round glasses on the corner Jack knew was the
physicist in charge of the teleportation project, "Turn on the call." The president sighed, then added, "You idiot."
Brian got up and, shaking, went for the remote. He turned on the screen.
Astronaut Jack Wilson stared back from the other side of the call.
Jack frowned. "What the –"
"No, *I* get to say that, you don't," The onscreen Jack said. Behind him, a large window gave way to an alien
landscape of blue and green. "What the fuck!?"
Jack looked around. All the suited men looked down, embarrassed.
"Brian," the president said, turning again to the nerdy-looking physicist. "You wanna explain this shit?"
"Yeah, *Brian*," Onscreen Jack said. "You wanna explain this shit!?"
Brian shook like a leaf. He stood up from his seat again and stared at Jack (the one in the room). "I'm so sorry
Captain Wilson. It looks like there was a little bit of a problem with the teleportation device."
Jack looked from him to the room to the Jack onscreen. "What's going on?"
"Tell him, *asshole*!" Onscreen Jack bellowed.
"It appears that the teleportation device did, huh… well, it did what it was supposed to do. Which was to map your
body, atom by atom, then replicate it at the specific location we wanted you to go. In this case, the planet in the Gliese system, where the Gliesians, who made contact with us five years ago, were to receive you."
"Hu-huh," Jack said. "Huh… how exactly did it work? Because you told me something had gone wrong when I
stepped out of the device yesterday and was still, you know… on Earth." Jack kept looking from Brian to the mysterious onscreen Jack, who now rolled his eyes.
"This guy is my original? This stupid ass?" Onscreen Jack blurted.
"Well, Captain Wilson," Brian continued, "It did work in the sense that your body *was* mapped and then
recreated on Gliese. It's just that… your body here wasn't disintegrated like it was supposed to."
"So that means…" Jack started.
"That there's another one of you up here in Gliese, *idiot*," Onscreen Jack said. "Good Lord this guy is dumb."
"I'm afraid Jack Number Two is right," Brian said, his voice weak. "We sent a copy of you to Gliese, instead of the
real you."
Jack waited. No one said anything.
The president got up, slapped the table and said, "Well, I'll be in the Oval Office waiting for the impeachment." He
left.
"There's more," Brian said, after the room grew quiet again.
"*There's more*," Onscreen Jack repeated, in a mocking voice. "Fucking nerd."
"What? What more?" Jack asked. He couldn't get his eyes off of his clone onscreen.
"Well… it also happened that… by accident, mind you… we… huh… we sort of accidentally sent a copy of you to
some other places too."
"What!?"
"Yeah, like… to pretty much every known inhabited planet in the universe," Brian blurted. "It was an accident, the
machine read our whole galactic map instead of just the specific location we wanted to send you to."
Brian went for the remote again and, with a click, several other feeds took over the screen – and in each, after a
moment of static, a new Jack emerged, each framed by a new and alien landscape. Each framed by a new, faraway
planet.
"What is going on!? I'm scared!" one Jack said.
"Where's the food? I'm hungry!" cried another, on another feed.
"DRUGS! DRUGS! I NEED DRUGS!" a third one cried.
"How… what… I… what is… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Jack asked. He was up on his feet now.
"Well… you know how Chaos Theory establishes that a single variation at a certain point on a closed system can
result in massive variation on a future point in that same system?"
"No!" Jack said, which was true.
"Idiot," Second Jack said.
"Well, it turns out that the slight atomic variations in the replications of your DNA coding when transporting you to
these other planets has led to a… huh… a little bit of a boo-boo."
"Meaning?"
"There's a massive number of Jacks with infinitely different personalities spread across the universe, and we have
to go capture them all before they start an intergalactic war," Brian said, in a single breath.
Silence took over the room. Even the Jacks onscreen remained quiet (except for Jack Two, who said, "God-damn
stupid fucks," and then left the frame).
"Is this serious?" Jack asked.
No one answered.
The door came open and the president returned. His hair was messy, his tie undone and he was holding tight to a
Jack Daniels bottle. He put a hand over Jack's shoulder and said, his breath wrapped in whiskey, "Oh, yes, it's very
serious. Pack up your crap, you and Brian are going Jack-hunting."
Jack looked at Brian. Brian swallowed dry and tried to smile.
"You guys are fucking assholes," cried a voice from onscreen, coming from Second Jack's feed.
___
[**PART 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/psycho_alpaca/comments/62jf1m/infinite_jacks_part_2/)
/r/psycho_alpaca | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Tenz looked at the human ship they were about to buy, it was the only thing they could afford at the moment and they needed to get away ASAP. The seller assured them that the FTL drive was completely safe, a Sol Stop Drive, that was the type of FTL drive it had. Tenz had heard horror stories about what could go wrong with Sol Stop Drives. Every other FTL drive that was ever made was about going very, very fast or making other things go very very fast. The Sol Stop drive did the opposite. It stops the entire universe, shifts your ship into another plane of existence and waits till it drifts to where you wanted to go then brings you back and lets the universe continue. That's at least what the humans told everyone it did, none of the other races understood how it worked. Tenz could think up thousands of ways that the Stop drive could go wrong, some of these were real problems with it, others were just theories. Firstly there's the surprise of something just appearing with no warning, other things crash into it, and some other drives use the same plane of existence the Stop drive supposedly uses so we know that's safe but those ones don't stop the universe so you can still get a signal from them approaching. And then there's the whole "stopping the universe" what would happen if a Stop Drive malfunctioned and the universe never got restarted? The scariest thing about that is that it could have already happened and nobody would ever know! Steeling themselves Tenz stepped into the ship and put in some universal co-ordinates, then pressed the stop button.
Nothing happened, and nothing was going to happen either, as this universe was stopped.
In another reality Tenz pulled their tentacle back from the stop button and looked out the view port to see that they had arrived, there must have been nothing to worry about after all.
Edit: Thanks for the Gold! | Astronaut Jack Wilson sat facing the large conference call screen. Around him on both sides, generals, politicians,
diplomats… too many suits and uniforms to count. All sitting. All facing the screen.
The president stared blankly at Jack. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Jack said, nervously.
"Brian," the president commanded, to the thin man with the round glasses on the corner Jack knew was the
physicist in charge of the teleportation project, "Turn on the call." The president sighed, then added, "You idiot."
Brian got up and, shaking, went for the remote. He turned on the screen.
Astronaut Jack Wilson stared back from the other side of the call.
Jack frowned. "What the –"
"No, *I* get to say that, you don't," The onscreen Jack said. Behind him, a large window gave way to an alien
landscape of blue and green. "What the fuck!?"
Jack looked around. All the suited men looked down, embarrassed.
"Brian," the president said, turning again to the nerdy-looking physicist. "You wanna explain this shit?"
"Yeah, *Brian*," Onscreen Jack said. "You wanna explain this shit!?"
Brian shook like a leaf. He stood up from his seat again and stared at Jack (the one in the room). "I'm so sorry
Captain Wilson. It looks like there was a little bit of a problem with the teleportation device."
Jack looked from him to the room to the Jack onscreen. "What's going on?"
"Tell him, *asshole*!" Onscreen Jack bellowed.
"It appears that the teleportation device did, huh… well, it did what it was supposed to do. Which was to map your
body, atom by atom, then replicate it at the specific location we wanted you to go. In this case, the planet in the Gliese system, where the Gliesians, who made contact with us five years ago, were to receive you."
"Hu-huh," Jack said. "Huh… how exactly did it work? Because you told me something had gone wrong when I
stepped out of the device yesterday and was still, you know… on Earth." Jack kept looking from Brian to the mysterious onscreen Jack, who now rolled his eyes.
"This guy is my original? This stupid ass?" Onscreen Jack blurted.
"Well, Captain Wilson," Brian continued, "It did work in the sense that your body *was* mapped and then
recreated on Gliese. It's just that… your body here wasn't disintegrated like it was supposed to."
"So that means…" Jack started.
"That there's another one of you up here in Gliese, *idiot*," Onscreen Jack said. "Good Lord this guy is dumb."
"I'm afraid Jack Number Two is right," Brian said, his voice weak. "We sent a copy of you to Gliese, instead of the
real you."
Jack waited. No one said anything.
The president got up, slapped the table and said, "Well, I'll be in the Oval Office waiting for the impeachment." He
left.
"There's more," Brian said, after the room grew quiet again.
"*There's more*," Onscreen Jack repeated, in a mocking voice. "Fucking nerd."
"What? What more?" Jack asked. He couldn't get his eyes off of his clone onscreen.
"Well… it also happened that… by accident, mind you… we… huh… we sort of accidentally sent a copy of you to
some other places too."
"What!?"
"Yeah, like… to pretty much every known inhabited planet in the universe," Brian blurted. "It was an accident, the
machine read our whole galactic map instead of just the specific location we wanted to send you to."
Brian went for the remote again and, with a click, several other feeds took over the screen – and in each, after a
moment of static, a new Jack emerged, each framed by a new and alien landscape. Each framed by a new, faraway
planet.
"What is going on!? I'm scared!" one Jack said.
"Where's the food? I'm hungry!" cried another, on another feed.
"DRUGS! DRUGS! I NEED DRUGS!" a third one cried.
"How… what… I… what is… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Jack asked. He was up on his feet now.
"Well… you know how Chaos Theory establishes that a single variation at a certain point on a closed system can
result in massive variation on a future point in that same system?"
"No!" Jack said, which was true.
"Idiot," Second Jack said.
"Well, it turns out that the slight atomic variations in the replications of your DNA coding when transporting you to
these other planets has led to a… huh… a little bit of a boo-boo."
"Meaning?"
"There's a massive number of Jacks with infinitely different personalities spread across the universe, and we have
to go capture them all before they start an intergalactic war," Brian said, in a single breath.
Silence took over the room. Even the Jacks onscreen remained quiet (except for Jack Two, who said, "God-damn
stupid fucks," and then left the frame).
"Is this serious?" Jack asked.
No one answered.
The door came open and the president returned. His hair was messy, his tie undone and he was holding tight to a
Jack Daniels bottle. He put a hand over Jack's shoulder and said, his breath wrapped in whiskey, "Oh, yes, it's very
serious. Pack up your crap, you and Brian are going Jack-hunting."
Jack looked at Brian. Brian swallowed dry and tried to smile.
"You guys are fucking assholes," cried a voice from onscreen, coming from Second Jack's feed.
___
[**PART 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/psycho_alpaca/comments/62jf1m/infinite_jacks_part_2/)
/r/psycho_alpaca | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | FADE IN:
INT. HALL OF THE GALACTIC COUNCIL - MAIN CHAMBER - DAY
*Beings from hundreds of different species are gathered in an enormous, amphitheater-like space, each of them looking down at a pedestal near the center. A tall, slender humanoid with long limbs and flowing white hair stands there. This is SSAH, a diplomat. When she speaks, her voice is amplified to be audible throughout the auditorium.*
**SSAH:** Esteemed peers, our session will come to order.
*A murmuring of voices - combined with dozens of other sounds - drifts through the air.*
**SSAH:** (*CONT'D*) There is little need to introduce today's primary focus, as I am certain that you have all become aware of it via one channel or another. For this reason, I will simply call our first speaker.
*SsAh steps away from the dais. Her spot is soon taken by a squat, toad-like creature. This is FIMNIMN.*
**FIMNIMN:** (*Shouting*) Humans!
*No response seems to be forthcoming from the crowd.*
**SSAH:** Please continue.
**FIMNIMN:** (*Shouting*) Humans!
**SSAH:** Yes, they are the species in question. Please continue.
*Fimnimn turns a bulbous eye to SsAh, his face showing a fair approximation of annoyance. After a moment, he looks back at the assembled beings.*
**FIMNIMN:** Humans...
**SSAH:** (*Interrupting*) Please say something else.
**FIMNIMN:** I was about to.
**SSAH:** My apologies.
*The squat creature raises his arms above his head.*
**FIMNIMN:** (*Shouting*) Humans!
*Several seconds of silence pass. SsAh rubs her forehead in evident exasperation. Eventually, Fimnimn lowers his arms.*
**FIMNIMN:** (*CONT'D*) Well. They've gone and done it, haven't they? Broke the damned thing, they did.
**SSAH:** We are not here to discuss their ill-advised experiments with their own moon.
**FIMNIMN:** Their moon was a *victim!* We'll *all* be victims if they keep this up!
*From within the crowd, a lone voice becomes audible. This is DAVE, a human ambassador.*
**DAVE:** Look, we said we were sorry!
*As all of the other council members turn to watch, Dave stumbles down to the center of the amphitheater.*
**FIMNIMN:** An apology won't keep us safe! An apology won't protect us from your... your... idiocy!
**SSAH:** This is the concern voiced by many of our number, Ambassador Dave.
*Dave reaches the center dais and turns to address the crowd.*
**DAVE:** Look, the universe is a big place, alright? We just wanted to get around.
**FIMNIMN:** So you built a weapon?!
**DAVE:** It's not a weapon! It's a means of moving faster than light!
*With a small gesture from Dave, a glowing display appears in the air, showing the Sol System.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) See, Earth is...
**FIMNIMN:** (*Interrupting*) Be specific.
**DAVE:** ... What?
**FIMNIMN:** Do you have any idea how many species call their planet "Earth?" Call yours by its *real* name.
*Dave closes his eyes, sighs, and continues speaking.*
**DAVE:** As you can see from the diagram, Happy-Happy-Sunshine-Sparkle-Ball is located...
**SSAH:** (*Interrupting*) I'm sorry, Ambassador, but is that truly your planet's galactic designation?
**DAVE:** Unfortunately.
**SSAH:** ... Why?
**DAVE:** We had a contest.
*Murmurs of understanding become audible.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) Anyway, we're one of the most remote planets in the galaxy. Our closest neighbor is over four lightyears away.
**FIMNIMN:** That's quite standard.
**DAVE:** Yes, well, according to our physicists, we needed a means of traveling far, far faster than relativity would allow if we were to make realistic strides toward visiting other worlds.
*The display shifts and shows a technical schematic for what appears to be an engine of some kind. It vaguely resembles a doughnut, albeit one with a series of ridges and valleys along its visible side.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) This led to the development of what we called the That Walkway In Airports Drive. In essence, we would...
**SSAH:** (*Interrupting*) Sorry, I believe we're experiencing a problem with our translator system.
**DAVE:** No, it's working fine.
**SSAH:** Ah. Another contest?
**DAVE:** No, just an inventor who liked analogies.
**SSAH:** That seems to be a universal problem. Please continue.
*Dave clears his throat.*
**DAVE:** Anyway, the TWIAD allowed us to create a bubble of space that moved at several times the speed of light, while the vessel contained within it would move at relatively slower velocities.
**FIMNIMN:** A fine system.
**DAVE:** Thank you.
**FIMNIMN:** Tell everyone what you started using instead.
*Once again, Dave clears his throat.*
**DAVE:** It was an accident, really. We discovered that the bubble in question could be... well, squeezed, I suppose... in a way that allowed it to traverse greater distances. Naturally, we worked to test the limits.
**FIMNIMN:** (*Shouting*) Humans!
**SSAH:** Stop it.
**DAVE:** Thank you.
**SSAH:** (*To Dave*) And you, get to the point.
**DAVE:** Well... it popped.
*A sound not unlike a collective gasp of shock echoes through the expansive room.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) All of a sudden, our ship was a quarter of the way across the galaxy. Our tests concluded that by rupturing the bubble, we'd released a buildup of some kind, which we hadn't even realized was there.
**FIMNIMN:** You blew past dozens of inhabited systems!
**DAVE:** We didn't know the effects it would have!
*Dave's face adopts a look of genuine remorse.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) We didn't know, I swear. We thought... we thought that intentionally rupturing our TWIAD bubble just propelled us along. We hadn't yet discovered spatial-temporal plasma, you see, and we didn't know we were leaving anything in our wake.
*He hangs his head in apparent shame.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) We thought our Fissure-Assisted Rapid Transit System would bring our people to the stars.
**FIMNIMN:** It did... and you brought that damned miasma with you!
**DAVE:** We know that now. As you said, we inadvertently blasted our own moon to smithereens.
*Dave holds up a hand.*
**DAVE:** (*CONT'D*) We swear to you, though... *I* swear to you... that humanity will no longer use our FARTS to travel.
*Somber, tense silence fills the space.*
**SSAH:** Let's take a brief recess for lunch. As is customary, the chef's team has prepared a meal from... Happy-Happy-Sunshine-Sparkle-Ball. I believe it is called "Baked Beans."
FADE OUT. | Astronaut Jack Wilson sat facing the large conference call screen. Around him on both sides, generals, politicians,
diplomats… too many suits and uniforms to count. All sitting. All facing the screen.
The president stared blankly at Jack. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Jack said, nervously.
"Brian," the president commanded, to the thin man with the round glasses on the corner Jack knew was the
physicist in charge of the teleportation project, "Turn on the call." The president sighed, then added, "You idiot."
Brian got up and, shaking, went for the remote. He turned on the screen.
Astronaut Jack Wilson stared back from the other side of the call.
Jack frowned. "What the –"
"No, *I* get to say that, you don't," The onscreen Jack said. Behind him, a large window gave way to an alien
landscape of blue and green. "What the fuck!?"
Jack looked around. All the suited men looked down, embarrassed.
"Brian," the president said, turning again to the nerdy-looking physicist. "You wanna explain this shit?"
"Yeah, *Brian*," Onscreen Jack said. "You wanna explain this shit!?"
Brian shook like a leaf. He stood up from his seat again and stared at Jack (the one in the room). "I'm so sorry
Captain Wilson. It looks like there was a little bit of a problem with the teleportation device."
Jack looked from him to the room to the Jack onscreen. "What's going on?"
"Tell him, *asshole*!" Onscreen Jack bellowed.
"It appears that the teleportation device did, huh… well, it did what it was supposed to do. Which was to map your
body, atom by atom, then replicate it at the specific location we wanted you to go. In this case, the planet in the Gliese system, where the Gliesians, who made contact with us five years ago, were to receive you."
"Hu-huh," Jack said. "Huh… how exactly did it work? Because you told me something had gone wrong when I
stepped out of the device yesterday and was still, you know… on Earth." Jack kept looking from Brian to the mysterious onscreen Jack, who now rolled his eyes.
"This guy is my original? This stupid ass?" Onscreen Jack blurted.
"Well, Captain Wilson," Brian continued, "It did work in the sense that your body *was* mapped and then
recreated on Gliese. It's just that… your body here wasn't disintegrated like it was supposed to."
"So that means…" Jack started.
"That there's another one of you up here in Gliese, *idiot*," Onscreen Jack said. "Good Lord this guy is dumb."
"I'm afraid Jack Number Two is right," Brian said, his voice weak. "We sent a copy of you to Gliese, instead of the
real you."
Jack waited. No one said anything.
The president got up, slapped the table and said, "Well, I'll be in the Oval Office waiting for the impeachment." He
left.
"There's more," Brian said, after the room grew quiet again.
"*There's more*," Onscreen Jack repeated, in a mocking voice. "Fucking nerd."
"What? What more?" Jack asked. He couldn't get his eyes off of his clone onscreen.
"Well… it also happened that… by accident, mind you… we… huh… we sort of accidentally sent a copy of you to
some other places too."
"What!?"
"Yeah, like… to pretty much every known inhabited planet in the universe," Brian blurted. "It was an accident, the
machine read our whole galactic map instead of just the specific location we wanted to send you to."
Brian went for the remote again and, with a click, several other feeds took over the screen – and in each, after a
moment of static, a new Jack emerged, each framed by a new and alien landscape. Each framed by a new, faraway
planet.
"What is going on!? I'm scared!" one Jack said.
"Where's the food? I'm hungry!" cried another, on another feed.
"DRUGS! DRUGS! I NEED DRUGS!" a third one cried.
"How… what… I… what is… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Jack asked. He was up on his feet now.
"Well… you know how Chaos Theory establishes that a single variation at a certain point on a closed system can
result in massive variation on a future point in that same system?"
"No!" Jack said, which was true.
"Idiot," Second Jack said.
"Well, it turns out that the slight atomic variations in the replications of your DNA coding when transporting you to
these other planets has led to a… huh… a little bit of a boo-boo."
"Meaning?"
"There's a massive number of Jacks with infinitely different personalities spread across the universe, and we have
to go capture them all before they start an intergalactic war," Brian said, in a single breath.
Silence took over the room. Even the Jacks onscreen remained quiet (except for Jack Two, who said, "God-damn
stupid fucks," and then left the frame).
"Is this serious?" Jack asked.
No one answered.
The door came open and the president returned. His hair was messy, his tie undone and he was holding tight to a
Jack Daniels bottle. He put a hand over Jack's shoulder and said, his breath wrapped in whiskey, "Oh, yes, it's very
serious. Pack up your crap, you and Brian are going Jack-hunting."
Jack looked at Brian. Brian swallowed dry and tried to smile.
"You guys are fucking assholes," cried a voice from onscreen, coming from Second Jack's feed.
___
[**PART 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/psycho_alpaca/comments/62jf1m/infinite_jacks_part_2/)
/r/psycho_alpaca | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | "I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. "In any event, we didn't succeed either, they- ah, crap, got the time wrong again."
The empty Hall agreed with the Kantian's assessment. The flummoxed emissary sighed, summoned the Kantian gate again, and promptly disappeared into an inky black portal.
---
"Who's going to stand up to the humans? Not us," insisted the Salaccian blob, swelling to twice its size to emphasise its point. "We're done doing the UG's dirty work. Get someone else to do it. Maybe the Maltiuns may want to actually be useful this time, hmm?"
The reprisal from the Maltiun android from across the giant round table was immediate and swift. "I resent that! We have done our part just as much as any other species has!" she yelled, slamming her first into the prized Goratian wood. "Strick that comment from the record!"
Ooopoo, the Delfantian stingray who had the unfortunate luck to be presiding over this emergency meeting, sighed.
"Please, everyone, focus. Let's not lose sight of the agenda here. We have to decide what steps we're taking to rein in those damned humans before they destroy the entire galaxy, so I implore you, leave your petty squabbles by the side."
Ooopoo waited for further objections, but the table had fallen silent. Perhaps they are finally realising how serious this is, he thought.
"Any updates on whether the humans are willing to adopt our faster-than-light technology instead?"
"We've offered ours," said the Maltiun android, "the latest Wave Riding prototypes even. Faster, cleaner, cheaper than ever before."
"And?"
"Rejected, outright. Uncool, they said. Old-fashioned, they said." The Maltiun android sulked, as its floppy diskettes ejected out of their slots, the classic Maltiun indicator of unhappiness.
"Blobby? You guys had better luck?" said Ooopoo, addressing the Salaccian, who were not known for creative names.
"None. They said our Skip Drives gave them bowel discomfort. We said that's nonsense, look at us, we're fine. They said, sure but they aren't sentient gelatinous blobs. We didn't have a good response to that."
Ooopoo turned then to the empty seat at the table, then said in a loud voice, "What about you guys, you lazy bastards who never arrive on time?"
"I object to that pejorative!" yelled the Kantian arachnid, as it popped into existence in the United Galaxies Council Hall, dropping neatly into the seat reserved for it. It had the most smug smile on its face, for reasons best known to itself. "In any event, we didn't succeed either. They really, really resented how our Kantian Gating had the added benefit of allowing them to travel through time. They said everyone would just spend their time travelling back in time to kill a painter, then save him, then kill him, then again and again and again."
Ooopoo rubbed his forehead with his tail, trying to stave off the incipient headache. "Well, I needn't remind you of how their current technology is causing problems for us all. This hologram of the latest security incident should show you what I mean."
The hologram started playing then, and everyone recgonised it as the official coronation on Planet Goratia, where the once-in-a-century change of power was happening.
Then, right as the Goratian King handed the Scepter of Power to his scion, a bunch of humans popped into existence, right on the stage. Everyone cringed as the humans stumbled around, hugged Goratians, high-fived each other. Bloodshed soon ensued once one of the humans started taking a dump on what he assumed was a tree stump, but which everyone knew was really just the young Goratian princess, quietly minding her business. Who of course, now had to deal with other people's business.
"See?" said Ooopoo. "I just don't understand why they are choosing that highly reckless, inefficient way of FTL travel!"
"If I may," offered Blobby, "they tried to explain it to me. They said that they had been consuming hallucinogens for the better part of their history, and that they had always longed to be able to visit the places they saw in their intoxicated states."
"Yes, and once they discovered that the places they saw were actually real places, just very, very far away, they poured all their efforts into discovering how to teleport there," said the Maltiun android. "I still think it's stupid, but I can understand where the attraction lies."
Ooopoo sighed. He fished out a box he had brought along, then laid bare its contents on the table. First a vial of vile black liquid, then two more vials of clear liquid, then finally a set of Delfanitian restraints, the very same unbreakable bonds which their species used to patch stars back together.
"Sir, is that... Do you mean to..."
"What choice do we have?" said Ooopoo, "we have to summon the Earth emissaries for a serious talk. This has got to stop."
"Then... Are we going to torture them?" said the Kantian arachnid, mandibles twitching. "Are those the famed Huulovian cocktail, which kills any species after hours of prolonged pain, unless the black antidote is administered?"
"What? These? Heavens no. It's just Earthling coffee and water. It's the fastest way to bring them down from their weed high, I believe."
---
/r/rarelyfunny | "Okay, settle down you Klaforkians!" Herbo commanded the students. "I know that yesterday's news has us all excited. Let's talk about it! Who has a question?"
"What do they look like?" Young Booly asked.
"The humans?" Herbo heartily chuckled. "They're fleshy, four-limbed, upright, and a little shorter than you are."
"Oh! Teacher!" Young Spooku raised her hypertentacle. "Are they evil? Will they eat us?"
Herbo expected such silly questions and laughed. "No, they won't eat us. I don't think they are evil, but humans are... very reckless."
Herbo nodded his head and grinned as he motioned to the students to calm down. They grew more energetic by the second- as to be expected. A new starfaring species hasn't risen in several generations!
"Why are humans reckless?" Young Zari questioned.
"Well," Herbo thought. "Do you know how we travel such great distances so quickly?"
"Of course!" The students all replied in unison. Young Jujuju smugly spoke, "Our spaceships bend the space in front of them and *WHOOOOOOOOSH!*"
The class merrily chuckled. "Yes," Herbo explained. "Our smartest Klaforkian scientists discovered long ago that if our spaceships bend the space in front it, we could travel great distances much quicker than the universe wanted us to. The universe's speed limit no longer applied to us."
"Teacher," Young Booly asked. "Is it illegal to break the universe's speed limit?"
Herbo couldn't resist an enormous smile. "No, Young Booly. The universe won't arrest us for breaking its speed limit."
"Oh," Young Jujuju spoke again. "The Plurpians go faster than light speed because they teleport in *WORM HOLES*!"
"Very good, Young Jujuju," Herbo said. "And the Narlans break the universe's speed limit because they can travel through time itself. Narlans arrive at their destination before they leave!"
The students knew all of this, of course. They learned about starfaring species' faster-than-light methods in 24th grade science.
"How do humans break the speed of light?" Young Spooku asked.
"Well," Herbo started. "This is why they are so reckless. Humans can travel faster than the speed of light because they change the speed of light itself. This is why we don't think humans are stupid; they are just stupidly careless."
The students sat thinking about what Herbo had told them. For the first time since class started, they were all silent.
Finally, Young Jujuju broke the silence. "If humans change the speed of light itself, then they can travel faster than light. But doesn't that mean that they are still very slow?"
"Yes it does, Young Jujuju," Herbo confirmed. "Those slow, reckless humans." | |
[WP] Every starfaring species has discovered a different form of FTL travel. Kantian gates, Salec skip drives, Maltiun wave-riders, Delfanit pulse tubes ... Humanity's solution was regarded as "Unorthodox", "Unsafe", and "Damn Stupid" by the rest of the galaxy. | Tenz looked at the human ship they were about to buy, it was the only thing they could afford at the moment and they needed to get away ASAP. The seller assured them that the FTL drive was completely safe, a Sol Stop Drive, that was the type of FTL drive it had. Tenz had heard horror stories about what could go wrong with Sol Stop Drives. Every other FTL drive that was ever made was about going very, very fast or making other things go very very fast. The Sol Stop drive did the opposite. It stops the entire universe, shifts your ship into another plane of existence and waits till it drifts to where you wanted to go then brings you back and lets the universe continue. That's at least what the humans told everyone it did, none of the other races understood how it worked. Tenz could think up thousands of ways that the Stop drive could go wrong, some of these were real problems with it, others were just theories. Firstly there's the surprise of something just appearing with no warning, other things crash into it, and some other drives use the same plane of existence the Stop drive supposedly uses so we know that's safe but those ones don't stop the universe so you can still get a signal from them approaching. And then there's the whole "stopping the universe" what would happen if a Stop Drive malfunctioned and the universe never got restarted? The scariest thing about that is that it could have already happened and nobody would ever know! Steeling themselves Tenz stepped into the ship and put in some universal co-ordinates, then pressed the stop button.
Nothing happened, and nothing was going to happen either, as this universe was stopped.
In another reality Tenz pulled their tentacle back from the stop button and looked out the view port to see that they had arrived, there must have been nothing to worry about after all.
Edit: Thanks for the Gold! | "Okay, settle down you Klaforkians!" Herbo commanded the students. "I know that yesterday's news has us all excited. Let's talk about it! Who has a question?"
"What do they look like?" Young Booly asked.
"The humans?" Herbo heartily chuckled. "They're fleshy, four-limbed, upright, and a little shorter than you are."
"Oh! Teacher!" Young Spooku raised her hypertentacle. "Are they evil? Will they eat us?"
Herbo expected such silly questions and laughed. "No, they won't eat us. I don't think they are evil, but humans are... very reckless."
Herbo nodded his head and grinned as he motioned to the students to calm down. They grew more energetic by the second- as to be expected. A new starfaring species hasn't risen in several generations!
"Why are humans reckless?" Young Zari questioned.
"Well," Herbo thought. "Do you know how we travel such great distances so quickly?"
"Of course!" The students all replied in unison. Young Jujuju smugly spoke, "Our spaceships bend the space in front of them and *WHOOOOOOOOSH!*"
The class merrily chuckled. "Yes," Herbo explained. "Our smartest Klaforkian scientists discovered long ago that if our spaceships bend the space in front it, we could travel great distances much quicker than the universe wanted us to. The universe's speed limit no longer applied to us."
"Teacher," Young Booly asked. "Is it illegal to break the universe's speed limit?"
Herbo couldn't resist an enormous smile. "No, Young Booly. The universe won't arrest us for breaking its speed limit."
"Oh," Young Jujuju spoke again. "The Plurpians go faster than light speed because they teleport in *WORM HOLES*!"
"Very good, Young Jujuju," Herbo said. "And the Narlans break the universe's speed limit because they can travel through time itself. Narlans arrive at their destination before they leave!"
The students knew all of this, of course. They learned about starfaring species' faster-than-light methods in 24th grade science.
"How do humans break the speed of light?" Young Spooku asked.
"Well," Herbo started. "This is why they are so reckless. Humans can travel faster than the speed of light because they change the speed of light itself. This is why we don't think humans are stupid; they are just stupidly careless."
The students sat thinking about what Herbo had told them. For the first time since class started, they were all silent.
Finally, Young Jujuju broke the silence. "If humans change the speed of light itself, then they can travel faster than light. But doesn't that mean that they are still very slow?"
"Yes it does, Young Jujuju," Herbo confirmed. "Those slow, reckless humans." | |
[WP] An ordinary garden snail receives unnatural superpowers after experimentation by a wealthy, albeit mad scientist. | Citizen Scientist Rusher loved his snails. He'd spent years and billions of dollars on making their lives more thrilling in return for the pleasure of studying them.
Today he was especially interested to in his favorite snail, Ellis. He'd been feeding Ellis a diet of specially made soup designed to make him smarter. For months he'd been attempting to test it by placing Ellis in a maze and waiting for him to solve it and get to the delicious fruit. Ellis, however, kept finding ways to escape. First he simply slimed his way to the top of the maze, skirted the outside, and climbed down to the fruit.
When Rusher put a lid on it, Ellis escaped and ate *his* salad, rather than the fruit. And so it went. Test after test, and Ellis failed to complete them all.
Frustrated, Rusher added another, even more experimental enhancing agent and doubled the dose. He then placed Ellis on his favorite plant for the night.
"Goodnight, my lovelies," he said fondly, as he turned out the lights.
The following morning, as he approached the snail room door he heard sparking and crackling noises from the next room. Terrified thoughts of his beloved snails being electrocuted raced through his mind. He scrambled to get the door open with no thoughts of his own safety.
The door swung open and Rusher stood there in awe at what he saw. Ellis was floating in the middle of the room, his tiny body emitting occasional bolts of electricity. The noise suddenly stopped and Ellis turned to behold his friend. Then as suddenly as he'd made eye contact, he flew at Rusher, landing on his shoulder with a nearly silent "gloop" sound.
"Oh my," said Rusher, "You really do need a cape."
| Alone, sitting atop a dangerous crag cutting into the surf of the sea, was the home of Doctor Noden; a man consumed, a man beseeched by the endless pursuit of progress and biological advancement. Inside the thick walls of Noden’s home, buried deep beneath the rough earth of the crag, lay the hidden halls and corridors of Noden’s personal laboratory. For years, endless decades, Nodens had retreated to his laboratory, to his personal heaven and hell, to tinker and create, to play god, and to push the very boundaries of life itself.
Below the towering house sitting upon the crag, laid a village, empty and abandoned. The village had once been a prominent fishing village, successful and rich. Noden realized the abundance of the village, and built his laboratory, his lair, to overlook the village. And then, slowly, the surrounding sea began to decay and die. The land soon turned barren. The people fell sick, malnourished and emaciated. One by one they wandered up to the kind doctor’s lair, desperately seeking treatment. Unfortunately, however, they found that once they entered the twisting labyrinth of Noden’s laboratory, it was impossible to leave.
Doctor Noden walked down the barren, decrepit halls of his playground. His right foot dragged behind him, lame since birth. The stomping of his good foot, and the dragging of his wasted limb, echoed down the dark, damp halls. He held a small, black box in one arm. A mad grin was held on the doctor’s face, and he could not contain his awful glee. Finally, finally after all his searching, after all of his research, he may have found what he was looking for.
Stopping suddenly, Noden turned and faced a large, intimidating, metal door. Producing a thick, brass key, Noden unlocked the door, and lit a small gas lamp, made of glass and bronze. The light illuminated the room. Rusted chains dangled from the far wall, and a wooden table sat at the center of the room. Dried bloodstains were splattered across the rough wood. Noden cackled, and limped over to the table.
The black box in his arm landed with a thud on the table. Barely able to contain his glee, the kind doctor opened the box, and examined its contents. Within the box, caged away, was a simple garden snail; its body fleshy and soft, and its shell a dull brown and grey. The doctor eyed the snail with glee, and raised a single hand. With such care, with such love and affection, Noden leaned his face forward, and gently stroked the snail. He cooed, softly, under his breath, and repeated the assurances that were now burned into his mind as simple routine.
“Don’t worry. This will only hurt for a second, and then you will feel much, much better.” Noden lied, pulling a syringe out from a pocket hidden within his coat.
With a delicate hand, with the utmost of care, Noden injected the snail with the syringe. He pressed down on the plunger, and watched the sickly, clouded brown liquid, slowly stream into the snail’s fragile body. It had taken Noden years to extract this serum, countless victims and cadavers to create this true essence, this utter purity.
When the syringe was emptied, Noden straightened up, and laughed. He threw the syringe into a corner of the room, and yelled madly, his eyes wide and unfocused.
Noden took a step back, and muttered to his sweet patient, his loving experiment.
“Oh my sweet dear.” Nodded cooed, his voice sinister and cruel. “You have been blessed. I have given you the power of determination … and the taste of revenge. The hatred, the desperation, the anger of my patients, extracted so carefully and lovingly, now courses through your veins. For now, I can only wait and see, if you choose to accept these pathogens, or refuse them, and perish from their anguish.”
The tentacled eyes of the snail looked up at the kind doctor, at its captor, at its master, at its owner; at its tormentor. Pride, love and support, welled within the doctor’s breast as he sensed the hatred, the pain and resolve, hidden behind the filmy black of the snail’s eyes.
“Until the morrow then, my sweet prince.” The doctor said with a regal bow, before limping out of the room, and heading towards his personal quarters. Tonight, tonight he would sleep, finally, peacefully, satisfied with his life’s work.
Left to its own devices, in one of the many dungeon cell of Noden’s laboratory, the snail squirmed, and convulsed in confused pain as the kind doctor’s serum coursed through its body. Its soft flesh rippled with sudden bumps and growths. The snail’s body, its organs and mind, struggled to keep pace with the pain. With a sharp crack, a resounding crack which echoed around the dark, damp cell, the snail’s shell broke in two. A great, black lump grew out of the snails back, and it writhed and convulsed in shadow. The snail attempted to remain conscious, it struggled, as the black veil, the darkness of insanity, slowly crept over its mind.
***
In the doctor’s darkened bedchamber, Noden slept peacefully. His snoring, soft and regular, filled the room. His door was left open, and in the dim light of the shadows and the night, a large, amorphous amalgamation of limbs and hardened shell, slick flesh and limbs, lurched into the room. The beast of horror and limbs stood, perched, over the doctor’s prone form.
Subconsciously, hidden within his id, the doctor had known his fate. He had worked so hard towards his death, simply out of pure survival. He was a monster, a beast, no longer fit for the warmth of life. But he could not stoop so low as to take his own life. So rather, in selfish greed, he had poisoned another, and forced his death upon its hands.
The snail, its many grotesques limbs, rushed towards the doctor, smothering him and breaking his neck, killing Doctor Noden instantly.
And now, left an aimless beast, the poor snail turned its deformed eyes out the window, and into the night sky, drawn to the alluring scent of life.
---
Hope you enjoyed the story! I've got tons more over at my sub, r/ThadsMind, if you want to subscribe to that bizz. | |
[WP] An ordinary garden snail receives unnatural superpowers after experimentation by a wealthy, albeit mad scientist. | "Snails are delightful creatures" whispered Dr. Melanie Von Pulmonata as she smiled at her latest specimens. She was one of the world's leading experts on them and since her parents had given her more money than she could ever hope to spend she had poured her life into studying them. Lassie was her favorite one. She had begun a regimen of nutrients and amino acids to stimulate Lassie to become more intelligent and boy had it worked! He ran laps around the other snails(literally) and always finished whatever maze she put him in. But she wondered "what's the limit of this enhancement?" So she began increasing the dosages and the difficulty of the tests.
Soon after, strange things began to happen in the laboratory. Glassware would fall off shelves seemingly by itself. Doors would open and close on their own. And most troubling, Lassie became increasingly difficult to keep in his cage. Dr. Von Pulmonata would awake to find him by her bedside, or the front yard seemingly without explanation. But exact science is not an exact science so she would laugh at it, kneel down and scold Lassie "you know you're not supposed to go outside! And she would gently scoop him in in her hands, and walk him back in the lab.
One morning, Lassie was up as usual(he rarely slept now as a side effect of the enhancements) and was deciding where to surprise Melanie when he heard a crash in the other room. Then a few seconds later, a scream. He concentrated his mind on the door to his cage and it flew open. He jumped out and streaked across the floor so fast he ripped the tiles out but he was too late. Whoever had taken Melanie was already gone. They had chosen the wrong scientist to cross this day. Lassie would make sure they knew that. But first, a plan was needed.
Lassie needed to know who had taken Melanie from him but it's not like he could call directory assistance. Well, he could but the lack of vocal cords would make that call unproductive. He went to Melanies computer. Luckily it was already on. The neural interface was much easier when it was already on. He opened his mind and linked it with the computer. First he went to the internet browser. Luckily Melanie never cleared her browser history so it was complete for review. Lassie saw something. A Facebook pm conversation. With her uncle. He had never come over to visit but Lassie could tell the uncle was angry and jealous of her because he was written out of the will by her father. He said "it's MY money and I will have it weather you like it or not!" Lassie cut the neural connection. He knew where to look. And for whom. An old man who couldn't spell correctly.
Lassie opened his mind and tried to broadcast his consciousness to find Melanie. Usually he could find her anywhere in the city. But she was no where to be found. Which meant she was either in a faraday cage, or dead. Uncle Stu would greatly regret the latter so Lassie would assume the former. Lassie pulled the computer back up and searched for Stu's house. It wasn't hard to find. The family was always well known in the area. It stood to reason his address would be online. When Lassie had it, he set off. Now, Lassie could slide there fast enough to rip the asphalt off its foundation but he decided that approach may scare Uncle Stu. And Lassie didn't want any harm to come to Melanie. So he did the obvious thing. He called for a cab. More accurately he linked up mentally with Melanies phone and used Siri to call a cab but the effect was the same.
A few minutes later, the cab pulled up. Lassie opened the door with his mind and jumped in. The cab driver asked "hey palm where to?" never looking up from his clip board. A few seconds later, he looked in his rear view and said "what the fu--" and froze in place. Of all his mental gifts, Lassie hated using mind control but it was a necessary step. He commanded the driver to an estate on the west side of town. Once there, Lassie released his hold on the driver and wiped his memory. Lassie felt bad and would make sure to send the driver a generous bonus when this was over. And he knew just who could fit the bill. Lassie could sense the signal being broadcasted from the house. A wireless (and silent no doubt) alarm system was the most likely culprit. He opened his mind and found the source of the signal and disabled it. He silently slid up to the front door. The door opened and a large guard clad in a black suit looked down. "Eww gross!" He yelled as a lifted his boot up. Lassie found the man's juggular vein and closed it and the guard immediately passed out. Even though this man would happily squish Lassie, the sentiment wasn't mutual. Once the man collapsed, Lassie reopened his circulatory system. As expected it reset no problem. The man would wake up in an hour or so with a headache, but no long term damage. Lassie went inside the house.
Once inside, Lassie searched for Uncle Stu. He found him immediately. And Melanie was with him! Lassie slid as quietly as possible until he was at the entry to the study. Uncle Stu was yelling at Melanie. "Sign the papers! You've squandered the family fortune too long!" She sobbed "I can't. What about my research? My lab? I've spent my whole life on it and I can't stop now. I'm so close to a breakthrough!" He yelled again "your research is garbage! "Enhancing snails" what a joke! This family will not go broke for your foolish dreams! Now sign!" Lassie had seen enough. He would not let uncle Stu mistreat Melanie anymore. And there was no reason to be quiet anymore. He rose up to look Stu in the eyes. Making Stus head explode would be a favor to him. This man deserved worse. But seeing that would make Melanie cry and Lassie would never let anyone make Melanie cry again. So he took control of uncle Stu and set him in his chair. Then, opened Stus laptop and forced it on. He transferred a large sum of money into the cab drivers bank account then reactivated the security system. And put it into panic mode. Soon, the police came and found Stu in his chair, Melanie still tied to hers, and arrested Stu. He would be going to jail for a long time thanks to all the evidence on Stus laptop. Melanie and Lassie rode home in a police car. His only thought was "where should I surprise Melanie at tomorrow?"
The End. :D
Like happy endings? STOP HERE!
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Epilogue: Melanie rode home silently, with Lassie cradled gently in her hands. She thought to herself "the experiment was a complete success. Subject L-4 has exceeded even my most optimistic hopes. Now, how to get Uncle Stu out of jail?" | Alone, sitting atop a dangerous crag cutting into the surf of the sea, was the home of Doctor Noden; a man consumed, a man beseeched by the endless pursuit of progress and biological advancement. Inside the thick walls of Noden’s home, buried deep beneath the rough earth of the crag, lay the hidden halls and corridors of Noden’s personal laboratory. For years, endless decades, Nodens had retreated to his laboratory, to his personal heaven and hell, to tinker and create, to play god, and to push the very boundaries of life itself.
Below the towering house sitting upon the crag, laid a village, empty and abandoned. The village had once been a prominent fishing village, successful and rich. Noden realized the abundance of the village, and built his laboratory, his lair, to overlook the village. And then, slowly, the surrounding sea began to decay and die. The land soon turned barren. The people fell sick, malnourished and emaciated. One by one they wandered up to the kind doctor’s lair, desperately seeking treatment. Unfortunately, however, they found that once they entered the twisting labyrinth of Noden’s laboratory, it was impossible to leave.
Doctor Noden walked down the barren, decrepit halls of his playground. His right foot dragged behind him, lame since birth. The stomping of his good foot, and the dragging of his wasted limb, echoed down the dark, damp halls. He held a small, black box in one arm. A mad grin was held on the doctor’s face, and he could not contain his awful glee. Finally, finally after all his searching, after all of his research, he may have found what he was looking for.
Stopping suddenly, Noden turned and faced a large, intimidating, metal door. Producing a thick, brass key, Noden unlocked the door, and lit a small gas lamp, made of glass and bronze. The light illuminated the room. Rusted chains dangled from the far wall, and a wooden table sat at the center of the room. Dried bloodstains were splattered across the rough wood. Noden cackled, and limped over to the table.
The black box in his arm landed with a thud on the table. Barely able to contain his glee, the kind doctor opened the box, and examined its contents. Within the box, caged away, was a simple garden snail; its body fleshy and soft, and its shell a dull brown and grey. The doctor eyed the snail with glee, and raised a single hand. With such care, with such love and affection, Noden leaned his face forward, and gently stroked the snail. He cooed, softly, under his breath, and repeated the assurances that were now burned into his mind as simple routine.
“Don’t worry. This will only hurt for a second, and then you will feel much, much better.” Noden lied, pulling a syringe out from a pocket hidden within his coat.
With a delicate hand, with the utmost of care, Noden injected the snail with the syringe. He pressed down on the plunger, and watched the sickly, clouded brown liquid, slowly stream into the snail’s fragile body. It had taken Noden years to extract this serum, countless victims and cadavers to create this true essence, this utter purity.
When the syringe was emptied, Noden straightened up, and laughed. He threw the syringe into a corner of the room, and yelled madly, his eyes wide and unfocused.
Noden took a step back, and muttered to his sweet patient, his loving experiment.
“Oh my sweet dear.” Nodded cooed, his voice sinister and cruel. “You have been blessed. I have given you the power of determination … and the taste of revenge. The hatred, the desperation, the anger of my patients, extracted so carefully and lovingly, now courses through your veins. For now, I can only wait and see, if you choose to accept these pathogens, or refuse them, and perish from their anguish.”
The tentacled eyes of the snail looked up at the kind doctor, at its captor, at its master, at its owner; at its tormentor. Pride, love and support, welled within the doctor’s breast as he sensed the hatred, the pain and resolve, hidden behind the filmy black of the snail’s eyes.
“Until the morrow then, my sweet prince.” The doctor said with a regal bow, before limping out of the room, and heading towards his personal quarters. Tonight, tonight he would sleep, finally, peacefully, satisfied with his life’s work.
Left to its own devices, in one of the many dungeon cell of Noden’s laboratory, the snail squirmed, and convulsed in confused pain as the kind doctor’s serum coursed through its body. Its soft flesh rippled with sudden bumps and growths. The snail’s body, its organs and mind, struggled to keep pace with the pain. With a sharp crack, a resounding crack which echoed around the dark, damp cell, the snail’s shell broke in two. A great, black lump grew out of the snails back, and it writhed and convulsed in shadow. The snail attempted to remain conscious, it struggled, as the black veil, the darkness of insanity, slowly crept over its mind.
***
In the doctor’s darkened bedchamber, Noden slept peacefully. His snoring, soft and regular, filled the room. His door was left open, and in the dim light of the shadows and the night, a large, amorphous amalgamation of limbs and hardened shell, slick flesh and limbs, lurched into the room. The beast of horror and limbs stood, perched, over the doctor’s prone form.
Subconsciously, hidden within his id, the doctor had known his fate. He had worked so hard towards his death, simply out of pure survival. He was a monster, a beast, no longer fit for the warmth of life. But he could not stoop so low as to take his own life. So rather, in selfish greed, he had poisoned another, and forced his death upon its hands.
The snail, its many grotesques limbs, rushed towards the doctor, smothering him and breaking his neck, killing Doctor Noden instantly.
And now, left an aimless beast, the poor snail turned its deformed eyes out the window, and into the night sky, drawn to the alluring scent of life.
---
Hope you enjoyed the story! I've got tons more over at my sub, r/ThadsMind, if you want to subscribe to that bizz. | |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | "That's funny," Gloria said without a hint of amusement or humor in her voice. "Bartholomew is 14 years old, and all his life I never saw him bark at anyone, nor cower from them."
She was enomoured of me completely. I've existed since before mankind had any written language, and having spent that time exploring so many places, meeting so many people, experiencing so many things, I would not run out of interesting stories to tell in Gloria's lifetime, never repeating a single one. I have always been quite careful to tell stories of times long past as though I read about them or heard an anecdote, but they are my stories, and I know them with perfect recollection.
Gloria is special in this as in many other things. Though she does, not everyone finds me interesting. Most in fact do not. Allow me to explain.
We all have a dozen masks, at least, human and demon alike. Some masks are only a filter. They do not distort the truth that lies behind. These conceal some and show the rest of the being who wears them. Other masks hide the truth completely, showing the viewer only what the wearer wants him or her to see. Here the mask and wearer can be as dissimilar as night and day, hot and cold, demon and angel. We choose from our collection which mask to wear based on the viewer and the occasion. As long as the mask is fixed fast, the wearer controls the message. When it slips, bad things happen. That was never a problem for me. I am careful, and I am disciplined. My masks never slip . . . almost never.
Most people pass through my world without drawing my attention to themselves longer than the briefest moment. They wear their masks as I wear mine, but I see through them all. I've seen countless instances of each -- masks and wearers -- over the millenia, patterns form in the mind too broad for me to relate here. Yes, there are patterns discernable over the years, but there are bigger patterns, too, and the ages were time enough for me to learn them all.
An ancient text -- ancient to the mortals anyway -- famously laments that there is nothing new under the sun. This is almost correct. When people by their thousands show me nothing new, I show them nothing new in return. A face in the crowd, half-seen, completely forgotten. If the hair inexplicably rises on the backs of their necks, they otherwise never knew how close they had been.
Others caught and held my attention longer. Ancients whose names even the most unlearned know have conversed with me. Alexander, Genghis Khan, Confucius, Caesar, Newton, Aristotle, da Vinci. And more recent ones too. Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Ghandi, and many others whose circumstances were more than a match for their worth, and as a result who passed through this life largely unnoticed except by me. Some of these bored me soon enough, and one day the trusted advisor or the loyal fan or the uncommonly wise urchin boy was gone, and they proceeded to write their chapter in history, maybe occasionally remembering the mask I had for time allowed them to see.
The fortunate few -- you'll pardon my dark humor here, I trust -- the fortunate few held my attention until the last. These in that gray instant, their crossing the threshold between life and death, saw me. Not a mask. Me. You may rest well assured none of them will ever forget me. I visit them regularly even now, and it is not a mere courtesy when I say the pleasure in the visit is all mine.
Enough about me. Gloria is who I want to talk about now. Patterns and masks. How precious it is indeed after these countless years to find one who would remove her mask for me, and to find the creature beneath fits no pattern I have ever seen. Our relationship was therefore not what you might expect. No movie or storybook tale of an ageless power dominating a younger, frailer being. Young she was compared to me, as are even the Great Pyramids, and physically she was frail enough as well. She was and is nevertheless well matched to me, charming me as much as I might ever hope to charm her.
So anyway, as I was saying about that dog. Gloria wanted desperately to believe everything was OK. But Bart was not making it easy for her, nor for me. The old dog had seen me before, but then he was looking on uneasily from the window as his beloved Gloria came out to meet me for our dates. I was too far away for him to truly sense everything, though he clearly was not at his ease about me. But that was different. We had been to the movies, dinners, cafes, concerts, and my house as well, but this was our first time to her house.
Ah, just thinking now about the movies. I could ponder the question as long again as I have walked the earth so far, and I would still end up not understanding why parents will take a toddler out to such places. They cannot find a sitter, they want to include the child in family activities. Right. I'm a demon, given to cynicism, so you will understand if my top theory is simply that they want to inflict the children on others, as they have inflicted them upon themselves. No matter. I have witnessed such things from afar, but no child was ever inflicted upon me. When they see me nearby, children of all ages go limp and silent with fear. My hearing is actute, and I have heard myself referenced from a distance as the scary man and the bad man, but nothing has ever come of it.
Bartholomew now was entirely different. Gloria trusts his judgement, as well she should in most matters. I am evil undiluted, or have been, but here Bart's concerns are unwarranted; Gloria is more likely to inadvertently cure me of my wicked ways than to suffer any harm because of them. I considered destroying the beast, but again, I cannot hurt her and will not do so, even indirectly, though my inaction may destroy me. Her love shelters the very abomination that threatens everything.
All of these thoughts passed through my head in a moment on hearing Gloria speak about her animal's reaction to me.
"My love, is there something you have not told me? I'm feeling frightened now. I have trusted you completely. At the same time, I trust Bart, whom I have known much longer, and he clearly hates you."
Gloria was backing away now, toward the door. She seemed OK allowing me to do what I would in her house, so long as she and Bart -- still barking -- were able to escape unharmed.
I did nothing. I said nothing. For the first time since the Stone Age, I found myself in that unenviable position of knowing silence would not do, but that everything I could think to say would only make things worse. Gloria backed further toward the door, ever more frightened. My heart tore asunder within my chest, a great and ancient power standing mute and helpless to stop the slow catastrophe playing out before my eyes. And then the mask slipped...
Gloria's face twisted in time as all passed through her mind. Shock, horror, then comprehension. She moved more quickly now toward the door with Bart, barking madly, right at her side. When she reached the door, a smile crept across her face. Gloria turned the doorknob, opened the door a bit, and called out, "Bart, go on outside and play."
The dog bolted into the yard, for the first time, and just for that moment, concerned for his own safety only. The door closed behind Bart, but Gloria remained inside. "A demon? Have you never learned to hide it better than this?" She reproached me gently as she approached. "I am not entirely what I seem, either, though I have learned to hide it better. Come let's reveal ourselves fully to one another, no masks, no secrets, and see where it will lead."
Bart loves me now. I don't think it's so much that he has changed, but that I have. We live together now in that house where heaven and hell collide.
<3G | Still VERY new to writing but I had an idea to make this slightly darker and I hoped it came across :D
I love my girlfriend. We do everything together. I know her inside and out. I know her thoughts…her wants…her desires…her needs…her evil intent…her darkness…her aura. It’s enticing, it’s exciting, and it comes at a price that could cost me everything. It’s whenever I am around those pure disgusting little mongrels called children and those enslaved, filthy, ass-licking mutts, that her aura shines. Also, those ‘things’, they see the true me. They see the literal demon I am. They see right through my human form. It was not a problem at first, just a simple “Oh I guess I’m not good with kids” or “I’m not very much of a dog person” but now my girlfriend has noticed something with me, the mongrels, and the enslaved filth.
Her first notice was during an outing at a park. It was “Earth Day” or some idiocrasy but there was a plethora of children. Running, jumping, playing, enjoying life. It sickened me. However as soon as I stepped up to one of the booths at the convention, a little girl served me. She was not paying attention to me.
“Hi sir, and welcome to Earth Day! Is there –” She looked at me and saw what she never wanted to see in her life. She screamed and I played along like she just saw a ghost. She was sobbing and pointing at me, calling me all sorts of names. Her parents dragged her away and I thought it was all over until I realized she attracted every attentive child in the damn park. In unison, they keened like their parents died in front of them. Every single child from babies to walkers, wailed and screeched, pointing at me. I just ran away, embarrassed that I even agreed to this stupid event filled with heinous mongrels! Stupid! I told my girlfriend “I must have had a spider on me” but she frowned and her aura changed to something I never seen before. It was all black. Not a transparent or hazy black, a matte black cloud enveloped her. It was so deep, so rich, so pure. I was so attracted to her and I felt alive and free! I felt like a human again. But the only way she has this energy is if I get exposed or if she gets embarrassed? Maybe she sensed supernatural activities? She knows something is up. I thrive for that aura. I detest that aura.
A few days after that, we walked to a local pound that houses abandoned dogs and cats. “Good,” I thought, “let the filth die.” However, I did not know how many animals would be in the pound. We walked through the door and the two dogs in the front charge for me, baring teeth and all. They’re foaming at the mouth and vibrating with hatred. I did what instinct told me and kicked them both down. I looked at my girlfriend, who’s aura was turning from a sheen gold to a hazy black. My heart beats faster. I crave that aura! How do I get it?
“I’m so sorry about the dogs, they scared me.” I say in a monotone voice. The women behind the counter scramble to pull the dogs to the back while constantly apologizing to me. I should have let them bite me…I could have gotten rabies. File a lawsuit and earn a multitude of money at once. I shake the thought away and ask the women, “my girlfriend here and I would like to see your animals please!” After a few moments of paperwork and discussions, they take us to the back where the animals are caged. Every animal in there shrieks at what seems like the same pitch. It’s so loud, piercing and ear splitting. Every dog is growling, every cat was hissing, every rabbit was slamming into their cage walls, every bird was flapping their wings and yelling. My girlfriend and the women who escorted us back run to the front, but I stay. I wink at one of the birds and change my eyes to demon eyes. All yellow, dirty, gritty with a slit in the right one. The bird I winked at goes berserk and slams itself into the cage walls. It slams itself so hard, I hear its brittle bones start crack. “Good birdy,” I coax. Suddenly it stop’s moving and falls on the bottom of the cage. I smirk and shift my eyes back to human eyes. I act concerned and run out of the back. The women’s’ auras are bright red, which means heightened alert, scared, or in shock. I look at my girlfriend and she is that gorgeous matte black. So ominous and opaque. I want her. I want to be in her, on me, feeling me, feel the darkness ensue!
| |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | "Baby, this is crazy talk! I swear all that was just a coincidence. I mean, come on, just listen to yourself, for Chri- ugh, crud's sake", exclaimed Saa'roq, or as he was known by his human alias, Seth.
His girlfriend, Natalie, looking flustered, crossed her arms. They were smack-dab in the middle of an argument in their living room. In her anger, it was almost amusing for Seth to note just how much she resembled his kind. And now, he wondered whether he had ruined her life by entering it. Guilt was typically shamed in demonic society. That just went to show how much he had changed, ever since he began masquerading as one of what his people called "mud-dolls".
"Hello, are you even listening to me?" snapped Natalie, bringing him out of his reverie. "Seth, I told myself I was going crazy. That there's no way something's off, that maybe you just smell funny to dogs and something about your body language seems off to little kids, which is why they're afraid of you. But all it took for my nephew to burst into tears yesterday was one look at you. I know this seems stupid, but I've been noting weird things like this for as long as I've been with you."
Seth made sure he made an incredulous expression, the one he had practiced the most, as he said, "What are you even trying to say, Nat? That I'm, what, some kind of ghost that only babies and dogs can see? Pfft"
Natalie quietly said, "No, babe, of course not. But I have known you long enough to know you're hiding something. I just can't shake that feeling, and I've ignored it long enough. I love you, Seth. I really do. But if you truly love me too, and don't wanna lose me, I need you to be honest with me. Or else, as much as it pains me to say this, I can't do this anymore."
Natalie's lips quivered as she spoke. His fiery heart wrenching, Seth said nothing. He couldn't. He looked away, breathing a sigh. Every atom of his being was screaming, telling her not to leave, wanting to bring her close, hold her and never let go. The fact that he was a demon and she, a human, meant nothing to him. He genuinely, sincerely, and honestly, loved her. Seth wondered if his girlfriend was ready for the truth, a truth he had never planned of ever unearthing. He then decided, that either she would never be ready, or already was.
"Nat, I...", he trailed off, voice breaking. He couldn't believe himself. A fire-borne brought to his knees by a human girl. By love. It was like Santa Claus working on his tan in the Bahamas. It was unnatural, dammit. But, it was real.
He finally said "I love you too. I've loved you ever since I first saw you. And that was before I was ever even a human."
Natalie gave a smile, and jokingly said "I appreciate that, babe, but this isn't the best time for one of your cheesy love quotes."
Seth took a deep breath, and said "No, I'm not talking about that 'souls meant for each other' crap, I literally mean, I'm not a human. I'm a demon, Natalie."
"Seth, wha-"
"Natalie, please, just listen, okay? I am not a human being. I've been disguised as a human all this time. All that weird stuff you noticed, this is why. And why exactly would a demon want to live as a human for the past three years, you ask? You, Natalie. You're the reason why. I love you to hell and back."
Natalie eyed him as if he might belong in a nuthouse.
With a sigh, Seth said, "Look, I'm not crazy, I can prove it. Just promise you won't freak out."
And with that, he promptly lit a match from a nearby drawer, and held it under his palm. To him it felt cool. He was, of course, made of a much stronger brew himself.
"Fire doesn't hurt me", he said.
"Jesus, Seth", said Natalie, shocked.
Seth winced, and said "I'd rather you not say that name. It just makes me really uncomfortable."
Natalie opened and closed her mouth a number of times. "S-so you, you've been living among us all this time, fo-for me?" she mumbled.
"Yes", he said softly. "I had a life of my own before, a place. But once I met you, I knew it was nothing compared to the one I wanted to build by your side."
For a few moments which seemed like a lifetime, Natalie said nothing. Until she did.
"I was gonna ask you why you never told me, but that's kinda self-explanatory. You were scared of, well, scaring me off, weren't you?"
Seth nodded. When she took his hand, his heart soared. He felt relieved beyond comparison.
Natalie said softly, "I don't care. We'll make this, whatever this is, work".
Seth's voice was barely a whisper as he asked, "How do you know?"
She then smiled and said, "Because I feel exactly the same way about you as before".
Natalie kissed him, and it seemed for but a moment, that somehow, a demon was in heaven. | Still VERY new to writing but I had an idea to make this slightly darker and I hoped it came across :D
I love my girlfriend. We do everything together. I know her inside and out. I know her thoughts…her wants…her desires…her needs…her evil intent…her darkness…her aura. It’s enticing, it’s exciting, and it comes at a price that could cost me everything. It’s whenever I am around those pure disgusting little mongrels called children and those enslaved, filthy, ass-licking mutts, that her aura shines. Also, those ‘things’, they see the true me. They see the literal demon I am. They see right through my human form. It was not a problem at first, just a simple “Oh I guess I’m not good with kids” or “I’m not very much of a dog person” but now my girlfriend has noticed something with me, the mongrels, and the enslaved filth.
Her first notice was during an outing at a park. It was “Earth Day” or some idiocrasy but there was a plethora of children. Running, jumping, playing, enjoying life. It sickened me. However as soon as I stepped up to one of the booths at the convention, a little girl served me. She was not paying attention to me.
“Hi sir, and welcome to Earth Day! Is there –” She looked at me and saw what she never wanted to see in her life. She screamed and I played along like she just saw a ghost. She was sobbing and pointing at me, calling me all sorts of names. Her parents dragged her away and I thought it was all over until I realized she attracted every attentive child in the damn park. In unison, they keened like their parents died in front of them. Every single child from babies to walkers, wailed and screeched, pointing at me. I just ran away, embarrassed that I even agreed to this stupid event filled with heinous mongrels! Stupid! I told my girlfriend “I must have had a spider on me” but she frowned and her aura changed to something I never seen before. It was all black. Not a transparent or hazy black, a matte black cloud enveloped her. It was so deep, so rich, so pure. I was so attracted to her and I felt alive and free! I felt like a human again. But the only way she has this energy is if I get exposed or if she gets embarrassed? Maybe she sensed supernatural activities? She knows something is up. I thrive for that aura. I detest that aura.
A few days after that, we walked to a local pound that houses abandoned dogs and cats. “Good,” I thought, “let the filth die.” However, I did not know how many animals would be in the pound. We walked through the door and the two dogs in the front charge for me, baring teeth and all. They’re foaming at the mouth and vibrating with hatred. I did what instinct told me and kicked them both down. I looked at my girlfriend, who’s aura was turning from a sheen gold to a hazy black. My heart beats faster. I crave that aura! How do I get it?
“I’m so sorry about the dogs, they scared me.” I say in a monotone voice. The women behind the counter scramble to pull the dogs to the back while constantly apologizing to me. I should have let them bite me…I could have gotten rabies. File a lawsuit and earn a multitude of money at once. I shake the thought away and ask the women, “my girlfriend here and I would like to see your animals please!” After a few moments of paperwork and discussions, they take us to the back where the animals are caged. Every animal in there shrieks at what seems like the same pitch. It’s so loud, piercing and ear splitting. Every dog is growling, every cat was hissing, every rabbit was slamming into their cage walls, every bird was flapping their wings and yelling. My girlfriend and the women who escorted us back run to the front, but I stay. I wink at one of the birds and change my eyes to demon eyes. All yellow, dirty, gritty with a slit in the right one. The bird I winked at goes berserk and slams itself into the cage walls. It slams itself so hard, I hear its brittle bones start crack. “Good birdy,” I coax. Suddenly it stop’s moving and falls on the bottom of the cage. I smirk and shift my eyes back to human eyes. I act concerned and run out of the back. The women’s’ auras are bright red, which means heightened alert, scared, or in shock. I look at my girlfriend and she is that gorgeous matte black. So ominous and opaque. I want her. I want to be in her, on me, feeling me, feel the darkness ensue!
| |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | **Edited** 10:55: Couple words. Removed a sentence. Added a bit more because I felt one line was coming off as me preaching.
*Story*
The end of my happy relationship was about to come. This wonderful woman I met, Jennifer, was finally ready for me to meet her son.
I'm not a child hater, you see, I love children. It's the fact that I used to be a very, very bad boy. So bad, in fact, that my previous go around on earth ended with me getting some one on one time with the Lord of Darkness himself, Satan.
Satan told me he was a big fan of my work on earth. He was a big fan of how I murdered those 14 women. How much he loved how I drowned that one kid that number 7 was babysitting.
But I wasn't proud of myself. In fact, I didn't feel much of anything on earth besides a burning hatred for everything. My childhood was unpleasant. From what my foster parents told me, I lost my virginity at age 3. But I don't want to bore you with that. After my mandatory 10 years of excruciating torture, which only made me hate more, Satan sent me to earth with the goal of causing as much destruction as I possibly could, with a specific focus on churches.
And I followed his absolute greatness of all that is dark, Lucifer, for many years.
But after being around people that seemed legitimately happy, and healthy, for 162 years, I began feeling something I had never felt before. Peace. I realized that everywhere I went people were smiling. People were always smiling, I was just never looking for it before. I began to think differently. When I bumped into someone, if they fell, I wouldn't laugh at them anymore. I wouldn't offer my hand, pull them up halfway, and then drop them again anymore. I didn't go out of my way to push kids into the street anymore.
Satan may be a powerful master in hell, but he has very little influence here on earth. All of the bad things that happen here are created by human beings. So in the rare instances a demon turns, or the much more common instance of dying (we are immortal NOT invincible), Satan could do very little to stop us, and after I exterminated 12 demons, he stopped wasting his energy on me.
As the years went on I began doing volunteer work in 3rd world countries, and in more recent years, I came back to America to help the place I wronged the most. It was here that I met Jennifer, and fell in love with Jennifer. Beautiful, sweet Jennifer. Here's the problem, most children can see my burned form. To them I look like something out of a zombie movie, and they were all terrified of me.
But I put it off too many times. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky and her son would be blind? Probably not.
Now here I was, outside the door of the love of my life, my heart (or the sensation of a heart) was pounding so loudly I couldn't hear anything else. I lifted my hand to knock when a little boy, roughly 5 years old, opened the door. He had a Gameboy (is that what they're called?) in his hands, he glanced up at me for a second, took in the sight (I winced at it, as if he shined a light in my eyes), and looked back down at his Gameboy, and yelled "Mom, some guy with a halo over his head is at the door."
| Still VERY new to writing but I had an idea to make this slightly darker and I hoped it came across :D
I love my girlfriend. We do everything together. I know her inside and out. I know her thoughts…her wants…her desires…her needs…her evil intent…her darkness…her aura. It’s enticing, it’s exciting, and it comes at a price that could cost me everything. It’s whenever I am around those pure disgusting little mongrels called children and those enslaved, filthy, ass-licking mutts, that her aura shines. Also, those ‘things’, they see the true me. They see the literal demon I am. They see right through my human form. It was not a problem at first, just a simple “Oh I guess I’m not good with kids” or “I’m not very much of a dog person” but now my girlfriend has noticed something with me, the mongrels, and the enslaved filth.
Her first notice was during an outing at a park. It was “Earth Day” or some idiocrasy but there was a plethora of children. Running, jumping, playing, enjoying life. It sickened me. However as soon as I stepped up to one of the booths at the convention, a little girl served me. She was not paying attention to me.
“Hi sir, and welcome to Earth Day! Is there –” She looked at me and saw what she never wanted to see in her life. She screamed and I played along like she just saw a ghost. She was sobbing and pointing at me, calling me all sorts of names. Her parents dragged her away and I thought it was all over until I realized she attracted every attentive child in the damn park. In unison, they keened like their parents died in front of them. Every single child from babies to walkers, wailed and screeched, pointing at me. I just ran away, embarrassed that I even agreed to this stupid event filled with heinous mongrels! Stupid! I told my girlfriend “I must have had a spider on me” but she frowned and her aura changed to something I never seen before. It was all black. Not a transparent or hazy black, a matte black cloud enveloped her. It was so deep, so rich, so pure. I was so attracted to her and I felt alive and free! I felt like a human again. But the only way she has this energy is if I get exposed or if she gets embarrassed? Maybe she sensed supernatural activities? She knows something is up. I thrive for that aura. I detest that aura.
A few days after that, we walked to a local pound that houses abandoned dogs and cats. “Good,” I thought, “let the filth die.” However, I did not know how many animals would be in the pound. We walked through the door and the two dogs in the front charge for me, baring teeth and all. They’re foaming at the mouth and vibrating with hatred. I did what instinct told me and kicked them both down. I looked at my girlfriend, who’s aura was turning from a sheen gold to a hazy black. My heart beats faster. I crave that aura! How do I get it?
“I’m so sorry about the dogs, they scared me.” I say in a monotone voice. The women behind the counter scramble to pull the dogs to the back while constantly apologizing to me. I should have let them bite me…I could have gotten rabies. File a lawsuit and earn a multitude of money at once. I shake the thought away and ask the women, “my girlfriend here and I would like to see your animals please!” After a few moments of paperwork and discussions, they take us to the back where the animals are caged. Every animal in there shrieks at what seems like the same pitch. It’s so loud, piercing and ear splitting. Every dog is growling, every cat was hissing, every rabbit was slamming into their cage walls, every bird was flapping their wings and yelling. My girlfriend and the women who escorted us back run to the front, but I stay. I wink at one of the birds and change my eyes to demon eyes. All yellow, dirty, gritty with a slit in the right one. The bird I winked at goes berserk and slams itself into the cage walls. It slams itself so hard, I hear its brittle bones start crack. “Good birdy,” I coax. Suddenly it stop’s moving and falls on the bottom of the cage. I smirk and shift my eyes back to human eyes. I act concerned and run out of the back. The women’s’ auras are bright red, which means heightened alert, scared, or in shock. I look at my girlfriend and she is that gorgeous matte black. So ominous and opaque. I want her. I want to be in her, on me, feeling me, feel the darkness ensue!
| |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | **Edited** 10:55: Couple words. Removed a sentence. Added a bit more because I felt one line was coming off as me preaching.
*Story*
The end of my happy relationship was about to come. This wonderful woman I met, Jennifer, was finally ready for me to meet her son.
I'm not a child hater, you see, I love children. It's the fact that I used to be a very, very bad boy. So bad, in fact, that my previous go around on earth ended with me getting some one on one time with the Lord of Darkness himself, Satan.
Satan told me he was a big fan of my work on earth. He was a big fan of how I murdered those 14 women. How much he loved how I drowned that one kid that number 7 was babysitting.
But I wasn't proud of myself. In fact, I didn't feel much of anything on earth besides a burning hatred for everything. My childhood was unpleasant. From what my foster parents told me, I lost my virginity at age 3. But I don't want to bore you with that. After my mandatory 10 years of excruciating torture, which only made me hate more, Satan sent me to earth with the goal of causing as much destruction as I possibly could, with a specific focus on churches.
And I followed his absolute greatness of all that is dark, Lucifer, for many years.
But after being around people that seemed legitimately happy, and healthy, for 162 years, I began feeling something I had never felt before. Peace. I realized that everywhere I went people were smiling. People were always smiling, I was just never looking for it before. I began to think differently. When I bumped into someone, if they fell, I wouldn't laugh at them anymore. I wouldn't offer my hand, pull them up halfway, and then drop them again anymore. I didn't go out of my way to push kids into the street anymore.
Satan may be a powerful master in hell, but he has very little influence here on earth. All of the bad things that happen here are created by human beings. So in the rare instances a demon turns, or the much more common instance of dying (we are immortal NOT invincible), Satan could do very little to stop us, and after I exterminated 12 demons, he stopped wasting his energy on me.
As the years went on I began doing volunteer work in 3rd world countries, and in more recent years, I came back to America to help the place I wronged the most. It was here that I met Jennifer, and fell in love with Jennifer. Beautiful, sweet Jennifer. Here's the problem, most children can see my burned form. To them I look like something out of a zombie movie, and they were all terrified of me.
But I put it off too many times. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky and her son would be blind? Probably not.
Now here I was, outside the door of the love of my life, my heart (or the sensation of a heart) was pounding so loudly I couldn't hear anything else. I lifted my hand to knock when a little boy, roughly 5 years old, opened the door. He had a Gameboy (is that what they're called?) in his hands, he glanced up at me for a second, took in the sight (I winced at it, as if he shined a light in my eyes), and looked back down at his Gameboy, and yelled "Mom, some guy with a halo over his head is at the door."
| "Baby, this is crazy talk! I swear all that was just a coincidence. I mean, come on, just listen to yourself, for Chri- ugh, crud's sake", exclaimed Saa'roq, or as he was known by his human alias, Seth.
His girlfriend, Natalie, looking flustered, crossed her arms. They were smack-dab in the middle of an argument in their living room. In her anger, it was almost amusing for Seth to note just how much she resembled his kind. And now, he wondered whether he had ruined her life by entering it. Guilt was typically shamed in demonic society. That just went to show how much he had changed, ever since he began masquerading as one of what his people called "mud-dolls".
"Hello, are you even listening to me?" snapped Natalie, bringing him out of his reverie. "Seth, I told myself I was going crazy. That there's no way something's off, that maybe you just smell funny to dogs and something about your body language seems off to little kids, which is why they're afraid of you. But all it took for my nephew to burst into tears yesterday was one look at you. I know this seems stupid, but I've been noting weird things like this for as long as I've been with you."
Seth made sure he made an incredulous expression, the one he had practiced the most, as he said, "What are you even trying to say, Nat? That I'm, what, some kind of ghost that only babies and dogs can see? Pfft"
Natalie quietly said, "No, babe, of course not. But I have known you long enough to know you're hiding something. I just can't shake that feeling, and I've ignored it long enough. I love you, Seth. I really do. But if you truly love me too, and don't wanna lose me, I need you to be honest with me. Or else, as much as it pains me to say this, I can't do this anymore."
Natalie's lips quivered as she spoke. His fiery heart wrenching, Seth said nothing. He couldn't. He looked away, breathing a sigh. Every atom of his being was screaming, telling her not to leave, wanting to bring her close, hold her and never let go. The fact that he was a demon and she, a human, meant nothing to him. He genuinely, sincerely, and honestly, loved her. Seth wondered if his girlfriend was ready for the truth, a truth he had never planned of ever unearthing. He then decided, that either she would never be ready, or already was.
"Nat, I...", he trailed off, voice breaking. He couldn't believe himself. A fire-borne brought to his knees by a human girl. By love. It was like Santa Claus working on his tan in the Bahamas. It was unnatural, dammit. But, it was real.
He finally said "I love you too. I've loved you ever since I first saw you. And that was before I was ever even a human."
Natalie gave a smile, and jokingly said "I appreciate that, babe, but this isn't the best time for one of your cheesy love quotes."
Seth took a deep breath, and said "No, I'm not talking about that 'souls meant for each other' crap, I literally mean, I'm not a human. I'm a demon, Natalie."
"Seth, wha-"
"Natalie, please, just listen, okay? I am not a human being. I've been disguised as a human all this time. All that weird stuff you noticed, this is why. And why exactly would a demon want to live as a human for the past three years, you ask? You, Natalie. You're the reason why. I love you to hell and back."
Natalie eyed him as if he might belong in a nuthouse.
With a sigh, Seth said, "Look, I'm not crazy, I can prove it. Just promise you won't freak out."
And with that, he promptly lit a match from a nearby drawer, and held it under his palm. To him it felt cool. He was, of course, made of a much stronger brew himself.
"Fire doesn't hurt me", he said.
"Jesus, Seth", said Natalie, shocked.
Seth winced, and said "I'd rather you not say that name. It just makes me really uncomfortable."
Natalie opened and closed her mouth a number of times. "S-so you, you've been living among us all this time, fo-for me?" she mumbled.
"Yes", he said softly. "I had a life of my own before, a place. But once I met you, I knew it was nothing compared to the one I wanted to build by your side."
For a few moments which seemed like a lifetime, Natalie said nothing. Until she did.
"I was gonna ask you why you never told me, but that's kinda self-explanatory. You were scared of, well, scaring me off, weren't you?"
Seth nodded. When she took his hand, his heart soared. He felt relieved beyond comparison.
Natalie said softly, "I don't care. We'll make this, whatever this is, work".
Seth's voice was barely a whisper as he asked, "How do you know?"
She then smiled and said, "Because I feel exactly the same way about you as before".
Natalie kissed him, and it seemed for but a moment, that somehow, a demon was in heaven. | |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | **Edited** 10:55: Couple words. Removed a sentence. Added a bit more because I felt one line was coming off as me preaching.
*Story*
The end of my happy relationship was about to come. This wonderful woman I met, Jennifer, was finally ready for me to meet her son.
I'm not a child hater, you see, I love children. It's the fact that I used to be a very, very bad boy. So bad, in fact, that my previous go around on earth ended with me getting some one on one time with the Lord of Darkness himself, Satan.
Satan told me he was a big fan of my work on earth. He was a big fan of how I murdered those 14 women. How much he loved how I drowned that one kid that number 7 was babysitting.
But I wasn't proud of myself. In fact, I didn't feel much of anything on earth besides a burning hatred for everything. My childhood was unpleasant. From what my foster parents told me, I lost my virginity at age 3. But I don't want to bore you with that. After my mandatory 10 years of excruciating torture, which only made me hate more, Satan sent me to earth with the goal of causing as much destruction as I possibly could, with a specific focus on churches.
And I followed his absolute greatness of all that is dark, Lucifer, for many years.
But after being around people that seemed legitimately happy, and healthy, for 162 years, I began feeling something I had never felt before. Peace. I realized that everywhere I went people were smiling. People were always smiling, I was just never looking for it before. I began to think differently. When I bumped into someone, if they fell, I wouldn't laugh at them anymore. I wouldn't offer my hand, pull them up halfway, and then drop them again anymore. I didn't go out of my way to push kids into the street anymore.
Satan may be a powerful master in hell, but he has very little influence here on earth. All of the bad things that happen here are created by human beings. So in the rare instances a demon turns, or the much more common instance of dying (we are immortal NOT invincible), Satan could do very little to stop us, and after I exterminated 12 demons, he stopped wasting his energy on me.
As the years went on I began doing volunteer work in 3rd world countries, and in more recent years, I came back to America to help the place I wronged the most. It was here that I met Jennifer, and fell in love with Jennifer. Beautiful, sweet Jennifer. Here's the problem, most children can see my burned form. To them I look like something out of a zombie movie, and they were all terrified of me.
But I put it off too many times. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky and her son would be blind? Probably not.
Now here I was, outside the door of the love of my life, my heart (or the sensation of a heart) was pounding so loudly I couldn't hear anything else. I lifted my hand to knock when a little boy, roughly 5 years old, opened the door. He had a Gameboy (is that what they're called?) in his hands, he glanced up at me for a second, took in the sight (I winced at it, as if he shined a light in my eyes), and looked back down at his Gameboy, and yelled "Mom, some guy with a halo over his head is at the door."
| I never quite understood why this particular mission requires me to pass as a human. I’m not infiltrating a corporation or government. I’m not here to protect the Antichrist. I’m not really even supposed to be sowing seeds of misery and discontent among God’s children. I’m just supposed to be John Brown.
John is an American. He is as American as a cheeseburger and apple pie and Cool Whip on the Fourth of July. He wears khaki pants and polos every day. His house is in the suburbs, he drives a leased Chevy Suburban 45 minutes to work every day, and his hair, skin, and teeth are immaculate. He looks like he works out every day with just the right mix of cardio and weightlifting.
A couple of years in I started to get bored, and (Lucifer help me) began talking to a nice young woman at the gym. So John and Lisa went out to a movie and John made his move on Lisa. Nothing too fast, nothing too slow. First date was coffee, second date was a movie and a walk in a nearby park and a chaste kiss. Third date ended in a full-blown makeout session (go Lisa!) at John’s place.
Fourth date she told John she’s in charge of the afternoon. John teased her and asked if she’s thinking what he’s thinking. He gave her a playful kiss. She smirked at him and told him to get into her car.
She took him to the Humane Society. “To play with some puppies!” she squealed. John acted like it was cute, but I was worried. Dogs and small children don’t see John Brown, they see me in all my unholy glory. It’s not unusual for there to be screaming and tears. I decided that being cool was best for now. I didn’t want to arouse her suspicions that John Brown isn’t me.
John said he could go for a little while but might have to leave if his allergies act up. Unfortunately, as soon as we walked in the fuckers knew something wasn't right and started to whine. Lisa handed me a puppy, telling me to comfort it. The little thing squirmed and twisted and howled in my grasp. I thought about snapping it in two but John Brown wouldn’t let me. “Uh-oh!” said John Brown. “Looks like he’s pretty upset!” He gave the puppy back to a befuddled-looking volunteer and sniffled a little.
The rest of the dogs were really acting up by that point. Some were cowering in the corners of their cages pissing themselves in fear. Others were howling or acting really aggressive, jumping and throwing themselves against their cages in fury. I decided this could get out of hand quickly, so I threw a little glamor on John Brown. Some hives showed up on his hands and his nose started to run. I threw a wheeze in there for good measure, and Lisa started to notice. John sheepishly showed her the hives and apologized, offering to buy her an early dinner as thanks.
________________________
I don’t know what’s happening to me, maybe I’ve been here too long and am picking up some bad habits. But I start to like spending time with Lisa, so I let John take over full-bore. We manage to avoid most situations with dogs because of John’s “allergy”. We haven’t had to deal with the kid thing too much. Those little shits are always howling about something so it’s easy to pass off terror as a tantrum about a soggy cookie.
A few years into it, Lisa and John moved in together. They spend a decent amount of time with Lisa’s family, who is local. Lisa’s favorite sister gets pregnant, of course.
She has twins.
It goes about as well as you’d expect it to. The babes scream uncontrollably whenever Lisa and John visit, gasping and choking on fear. The first time, their wrinkled faces turned a hellish shade of red, then a little blue. Lisa’s sister panicked and took them to the emergency room, but nobody could find anything wrong with them, and they quickly returned to normal, no worse for the wear.
I decided to be careful, so John was always busy when Lisa spent time with her sister and the twins. In order to arouse less suspicion, John would go to the big family gatherings—holidays, reunions, that sort of thing. In a crowd, it was easier to keep my distance from the little ones. I thought it would be stranger if I never interacted with the children, so there were a few taxing interactions with screaming toddlers at Christmas. John made a joke about too many Christmas cookies.
At Easter, Lisa’s favorite cousin Sam visits. They haven’t seen each other for years, but they Skype regularly. Sam and John have gotten to know each other over Skype too. John has been looking forward to meeting Sam.
Sam has a three year old kid, Rex. Nothing too weird ever happened with my appearance over Skype so I thought maybe Sam was old enough to see my disguise.
It’s a beautiful spring day, unseasonably warm, and not a cloud in the sky. John admires the day’s perfection as they walk to the back of Lisa’s parents’ home, where there's a grill full of meat. Everyone greets us happily, especially Sam. Rex is playing inside with the older cousins. The twins are sick, thank Lucifer.
Lisa’s mom wants to show us the new tulips that are blooming, so we walk around the yard with her. I guess the kids came outside, because suddenly there’s a little kid pointing and screaming at me. He knows.
Later, when Lisa and John are driving home, Lisa gets very quiet. John reaches over and takes her hand, but she stiffens a little. Concerned, he pulls off the road and asks Lisa what’s wrong.
“Did you hear what Rex was saying about you?”
John shakes his head no, but I know what’s coming.
| |
[WP]You are a Demon hiding amongst humans. 2 Problems, young children and dogs can perceive your original form, And Your girlfriend is starting to notice them noticing. | **Edited** 10:55: Couple words. Removed a sentence. Added a bit more because I felt one line was coming off as me preaching.
*Story*
The end of my happy relationship was about to come. This wonderful woman I met, Jennifer, was finally ready for me to meet her son.
I'm not a child hater, you see, I love children. It's the fact that I used to be a very, very bad boy. So bad, in fact, that my previous go around on earth ended with me getting some one on one time with the Lord of Darkness himself, Satan.
Satan told me he was a big fan of my work on earth. He was a big fan of how I murdered those 14 women. How much he loved how I drowned that one kid that number 7 was babysitting.
But I wasn't proud of myself. In fact, I didn't feel much of anything on earth besides a burning hatred for everything. My childhood was unpleasant. From what my foster parents told me, I lost my virginity at age 3. But I don't want to bore you with that. After my mandatory 10 years of excruciating torture, which only made me hate more, Satan sent me to earth with the goal of causing as much destruction as I possibly could, with a specific focus on churches.
And I followed his absolute greatness of all that is dark, Lucifer, for many years.
But after being around people that seemed legitimately happy, and healthy, for 162 years, I began feeling something I had never felt before. Peace. I realized that everywhere I went people were smiling. People were always smiling, I was just never looking for it before. I began to think differently. When I bumped into someone, if they fell, I wouldn't laugh at them anymore. I wouldn't offer my hand, pull them up halfway, and then drop them again anymore. I didn't go out of my way to push kids into the street anymore.
Satan may be a powerful master in hell, but he has very little influence here on earth. All of the bad things that happen here are created by human beings. So in the rare instances a demon turns, or the much more common instance of dying (we are immortal NOT invincible), Satan could do very little to stop us, and after I exterminated 12 demons, he stopped wasting his energy on me.
As the years went on I began doing volunteer work in 3rd world countries, and in more recent years, I came back to America to help the place I wronged the most. It was here that I met Jennifer, and fell in love with Jennifer. Beautiful, sweet Jennifer. Here's the problem, most children can see my burned form. To them I look like something out of a zombie movie, and they were all terrified of me.
But I put it off too many times. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky and her son would be blind? Probably not.
Now here I was, outside the door of the love of my life, my heart (or the sensation of a heart) was pounding so loudly I couldn't hear anything else. I lifted my hand to knock when a little boy, roughly 5 years old, opened the door. He had a Gameboy (is that what they're called?) in his hands, he glanced up at me for a second, took in the sight (I winced at it, as if he shined a light in my eyes), and looked back down at his Gameboy, and yelled "Mom, some guy with a halo over his head is at the door."
| "Henry," Flora softly spoke to the boy huddled underneath the blankets. She noticed the bundle shivering. Heard soft whimpers. "Henry, honey, tell me what's wrong?" The boy didn't respond. "Henry, your auntie Flora wants to know so she can help you." Her sister, Grace, dropped off the child, a perfectly happy young boy, for the weekend. Now he rarely ventured out from the room let alone his bed.
"Mo-mo-mo," Henry stuttered.
"Mommy? Do you miss mommy?" Flora sighed in relief. A bowl of ice cream along with a trip to the movies should fix a bout of homesickness. "She'll be back in only two days! Hang out with cool auntie Flora until then!" Flora reached out to comfort the boy. As soon as she touched his shoulder, the little bundle jumped, shedding of the comfortable quilted blanket. Her brows rose in surprise when she saw Henry's face. Not homesickness. Fear.
"Mo-mo-monster. Monster in auntie's house," he whispered.
"Monster? Henry, what monster?" Flora needed to find out what happened before her boyfriend, James, returned from his shift at the hospital. Henry shook his head, backing away further into the corner of the small twin bed. "Henry, please tell me, you can trust auntie."
"No," he accused. "Can't trust auntie."
"Henry?" her voice laced with surprise. "Why can't you trust auntie?"
"You hug monster," his voice picked up slowly. "You smile with monster... You kiss monster." Now, Flora froze.
"Is James the monster?" she inquired. She loved the man, fell madly in love as soon as she glimpsed his blue eyes and he returned a dazzling white smile. All charm. She needed to know. "Did James do something bad to you?"
"No," he replied. "But he monster." He pulled his covers over his head, retreating into his sanctuary.
Flora retreated softly from the room. Confused. She heard the soft crunching of gravel as a car pulled up into the driveway.
*James is home*, she thought. *Maybe I can let him talk to Henry. See what's going on.* | |
[WP] "Please stop! I am not a monster!" | I stand at the window, my hand resting against the frame and my eyes sweeping out over the people. There were a lot of faces out there. Angry faces, accusing faces, stared at the house. Not many of them seemed to be looking at me. That wasn't surprising, I'd had the outside of the windows mirrored several years ago. You could still *kinda* see in... but most people couldn't see into a dark room through the reflective coating. I'd had it done to inconvenience assassins... and now it served to protect me from the gaze of protestors.
I let out a sigh, and backed away from the window. Staring out at that mob wasn't a constructive use of my time. They were angry... and anger isn't an emotion that lasts long if you don't feed it. I probably just needed to wait them out. After a few hours out there in the cold... their outrage would be overwhelmed by their exhaustion. The ones outside weren't the dangerous ones, after all.
The dangerous ones, the ones willing to kill for their anger, had already made their attempt. They'd jumped my gate, stormed across my lawn, and broken down my front door. I'd been standing on the other side... dressed as if I were going out into the Fields of Torment again. They'd come to kill the demon that had seduced one of their champions... and had run into a Knight of the Sun whose anger had been roused.
I'd sent them running away, minus a few teeth and other miscellaneous parts that wouldn't be missed overly much. They'd left me with a nasty gash on my arm and more than a few new bruises... but it was nothing the Sun's Light couldn't stitch back together. It was pretty clear that I was growing slow in my old age... and that my skills were getting rusty in retirement.
I walked through the old house, looking for her. We'd all lived in that house, once. Back when we had been younger. We had been heroes, back on that day that Torment broke through the boundaries. The Demons had slipped free of their prison, and the more opportunistic Fiends had gone on recruitment drives while they had an excuse to come out. We'd been the ones to turn the tide upon that Field... the ones to drive the Demons back and seal the gateway they'd come through. We'd been heroes, and the people of this ungrateful city had celebrated us as such.
It's amazing how quickly that people can forget what you've done for them. I'd risked my life to push back Torment from their homes... and they turned on me because I'd gotten married. *Sun and Stars*... I can see how Knights manage to Fall.
I found her sitting in her study. She was the only one of the old team that had stayed here... stayed with me. She'd been right beside me on that Field. More importantly... she had been the one to close the Gateway, using her inborn power sever the connection between Ayren and Torment.
She was also the reason that the people had turned on me.
The people had painted most of us as shining heroes... and they'd tried their best to ignore her. To them she'd been, at best, a symbol of how even the lowest of creatures could rise above their base nature if they tried hard enough. They'd painted their beliefs with pretty language... but that was at the core. She was still a monster to them... and even a "good" monster wasn't welcome to marry their shining champion.
My wife turned around and looked at me with a sad face. She was as human as I was... but she didn't look like it. Her skin was red, and scaled in places. Her eyes were feline. Horns curled down from her forehead, like those of a Dragon. A surprisingly strong tail drifted out behind her. A human with very inhuman features... features that marked her as a descendant of a Sinner so terrible that it had marked him and all his progeny for millennia.
We weren't the Southern Barbarians that enslaved her kind... punishing them for the sins of their ancestors. But... even we weren't comfortable with her kind. They reminded us of the Fiends, and of the Demons. They often wielded powers that most couldn't understand. But... she wasn't a monster.
"Do you want to leave?" She asked.
"Don't know where we'd go," I responded, "everything we have is here."
She smiled, "Not everything, love. We... got a message."
"A courier made it through the gate without being ripped apart?" I asked.
"No..." she said, offering the letter to me, "It appeared on the desk. It's... a message from Alric."
I blinked. Alric was a man with *breathtaking* anger-management issues... but he'd been with us on that Field. More importantly... he couldn't send a Message to us on his own, and there was only one spellcaster who could send a message into our home. Ril was with him.
I walked over and took the letter. I looked down and read it... and felt a smile grow on my face.
"Someone still remembers us," I said.
Hope smiled, "Yeah... they do. So... do you think we should leave? They'll probably rip this house apart if we aren't here..."
I took in a slow breath. Then I said, "We can take the most important things with us... and this is just a place. This place isn't home... not with those people out there..."
"And not without the others in here," Hope added.
I nodded. Then I asked, "Do you want to leave?"
Hope nodded, "I want them to stop. I'm not a monster... but... well... you've heard them."
I had. They'd ranted at our home for the first day. They had demanded that 'the demon witch' come out to face justice for charming me, and otherwise weaving her 'acursed magicks' upon and about me. Idiots.
"Well then..." I said, "I suppose it's time that we got on the road again. Can you..."
"Get us out of here?" Hope asked, "Love, I'm a sorceress. It's really more of a question of how many *trips* we'll have to make to get the things we want out of here."
I nodded... and felt an excitement building in my chest. I'd been... "retired" for the better part of a year. Now... I was heading back out into the world to do the Sun's work again. | I thought I was helping people for a good long while, and maybe I was at first. Patriotism bought my nation its freedom so many years ago, and I sought to serve it as my ancestors did.
"I am not a monster." I rasp into dirty tilework, a boot on the back of my head.
I've no memory of the day when I started killing. I should, but I don't. The first was followed by so many more, its significance died not long after its subject.
I don't remember when, but I remember the look on his face. I can only imagine I've worn the same expression myself, by now, but I'm too numb anymore to tell.
"Please listen."
I fought for the sweetest child I ever knew, saw her grow cold, taught her how to lead a fleeing target.
I fought for a brash brat who should've grown into a hero, instead became host to some primeval parasite.
I fought for a man who fought for all of those things himself, and as he lanced dragons I slew men.
I fought for my nation. I fought to hide her ugly scars. I became one myself.
When they decried me for atrocities of war, I was baffled. It took me too long to realize that they were trading me in for something stronger.
When they threw me away, they cut off my trigger fingers, told me to run. I guess that made it more convincing.
Gilt eyes, teeth like knives, hair the color of snow. No way to hide what they made me.
The man above me, he looks more and more like me every day.
His spearhead pricks the back of my neck.
Once, we looked just alike. Perhaps we will again. | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | After reading the prompt, as I always do when scrolling, I think no way but tap anyway.
After thinking of a quick response I start to read the other comments. I laugh to my self a little and scroll down.
Surprise hits my shortly when I reach the end of the comments. I decide to throw my response into the small pool know it has become more than I intended for it to be.
"No...
Shit." | >**Scanning....**
>**Topic Found**
>**Begin operation.** **Posting in progress**
**Off-Topic Discussion**: All top-level comments must be a story or poem.
>Prompt identified as meta post, assessing value... ... ... Story possibility confirmed. Response needed, assessing possibilities... ... ...
>**Response: Title: Out of my mind. Internal dialogue of narrator debates impact of prompt responding.**
>**Response: Title: Yesterday's Prompt Surprise. Prompt response creates world disorder and time traveling corrects dystopian timeline.**
>**Response: Title:Meta Meta Meta. Superheroes fight Space Hitler.**
>**Response: Title: All's Well That Prompts Well. A delightful afternoon spent writing in the sunshine.**
>Evaluating responses ... .... Response 4 chosen.
Reply here for other comments.
>Inserting positivity
>Consider Gold Status... ... Rejected.
#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:
* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
>Deleting irrelevant details.
* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.
>Assessing civility. ... ... Civility standard reached.
---
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[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | I scroll past it. Silly idea really.
I scroll back up. It's an amusing idea, but does it really deserve my time whilst I'm watching television?
Perhaps I'll just give it an upvote. Yep, there we go! Hopefully it'll get some traction and I can see what people make of it. But then, this could be my break.
It'll be a nice chance to stretch the muscles, in a wonderfully metaphorical sense.
I start typing, wondering the whole time whether this will be worth it. That, of course, is not my question to answer. Dear reader, this ironically egotistical exercise is purely for your benefit. Has it been worth it?
Dancing along like my fingers on the touchpad, the idea is there. The karma, what if it all blows up? Or is it more likely to blow up in my face. Who loses? Is it the protagonist or the author? We are one.
I stand up, look in the mirror. Somebody else looks back. He's written the prompt now, he's not quite the same. I was a sparkle in the eye just half an hour ago. A twinkle in the eye of an author now locked in a reflection.
I smile, and he smiles back. It's all there, just lacking a little lustre in the eye. I open the door. The world, it seems, is my oyster. | >**Scanning....**
>**Topic Found**
>**Begin operation.** **Posting in progress**
**Off-Topic Discussion**: All top-level comments must be a story or poem.
>Prompt identified as meta post, assessing value... ... ... Story possibility confirmed. Response needed, assessing possibilities... ... ...
>**Response: Title: Out of my mind. Internal dialogue of narrator debates impact of prompt responding.**
>**Response: Title: Yesterday's Prompt Surprise. Prompt response creates world disorder and time traveling corrects dystopian timeline.**
>**Response: Title:Meta Meta Meta. Superheroes fight Space Hitler.**
>**Response: Title: All's Well That Prompts Well. A delightful afternoon spent writing in the sunshine.**
>Evaluating responses ... .... Response 4 chosen.
Reply here for other comments.
>Inserting positivity
>Consider Gold Status... ... Rejected.
#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:
* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
>Deleting irrelevant details.
* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.
>Assessing civility. ... ... Civility standard reached.
---
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[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Haha, five upvotes? Who needs karma, anyway? It's stupid to care about something that is likely stored in a few microscopic transistors in a server somewhere. Then again, it's stupid to care about little strips of mushed leaves with pictures of former leaders of our inhabited landmasses etched into them, yet our entire world revolves around it. Or, wait, only the humans. Hey, look, another one. Really, does much of modern existence even matter? Everyday, our success isn't defined by how well we're surviving, it's about how many little IOU's we obtained and gave away that day. One upvote. Another. Or maybe, maybe we've transcended to a level high enough that we don't need to care about basic survival. Maybe that just means we were already successful, and now we're basking in the sweet reward of dominance. We've reached a level one step closer to God. Wow, that number is going up fast. But, are we losing ourselves so much to this reward, that we forgot to keep tabs on the true enemy, the one that's slowly killing us in the background? Have we forgotten to protect ourselves... from ourselves? Look, it's at 25. We continue to laze around in our "safe, successful world", that we don't notice that nature is once again creeping up behind us, slowly counting down to doomsday, and if we don't do something about our actions soon, we'll all suffer the consequences. We'll all... die. If we continue to put our trust in fancy pieces of paper, or the people who claim to protect us, or the little pointy arrows the internet
WOAH IT JUST HIT 50 MAKE A STORY QUICK QUICK
EDIT: chRIST 1000 IS A VERY LARGE NUMBER | >**Scanning....**
>**Topic Found**
>**Begin operation.** **Posting in progress**
**Off-Topic Discussion**: All top-level comments must be a story or poem.
>Prompt identified as meta post, assessing value... ... ... Story possibility confirmed. Response needed, assessing possibilities... ... ...
>**Response: Title: Out of my mind. Internal dialogue of narrator debates impact of prompt responding.**
>**Response: Title: Yesterday's Prompt Surprise. Prompt response creates world disorder and time traveling corrects dystopian timeline.**
>**Response: Title:Meta Meta Meta. Superheroes fight Space Hitler.**
>**Response: Title: All's Well That Prompts Well. A delightful afternoon spent writing in the sunshine.**
>Evaluating responses ... .... Response 4 chosen.
Reply here for other comments.
>Inserting positivity
>Consider Gold Status... ... Rejected.
#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:
* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
>Deleting irrelevant details.
* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.
>Assessing civility. ... ... Civility standard reached.
---
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[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Pause.
Tap tap tap.
Hesitation.
Tip tap tap.
Thought.
Words on a screen, written with fingers erringly erratic hitting wrong keys and leaving incorect words.
Tap tap tap.
Caught by a trap outside a trap. The fly follows the moth to the flame. Letters burn into eyes.
Tap tap tap.
Response becomes mandatory yet involuntary, forced out through stiffened muscle.
Tap tap tap.
Aching finger supporting weight unaccustomed. Thumbs with unequal nails move along leaving words to be seen by many and never be seen again.
Tap tap tap.
Neurons fire, blast away into an abyss that has no end yet fills quickly. Funneled through a miniscule opening, words begin to gather, clotting the vein of creativity until...
Tap tap tap. | >**Scanning....**
>**Topic Found**
>**Begin operation.** **Posting in progress**
**Off-Topic Discussion**: All top-level comments must be a story or poem.
>Prompt identified as meta post, assessing value... ... ... Story possibility confirmed. Response needed, assessing possibilities... ... ...
>**Response: Title: Out of my mind. Internal dialogue of narrator debates impact of prompt responding.**
>**Response: Title: Yesterday's Prompt Surprise. Prompt response creates world disorder and time traveling corrects dystopian timeline.**
>**Response: Title:Meta Meta Meta. Superheroes fight Space Hitler.**
>**Response: Title: All's Well That Prompts Well. A delightful afternoon spent writing in the sunshine.**
>Evaluating responses ... .... Response 4 chosen.
Reply here for other comments.
>Inserting positivity
>Consider Gold Status... ... Rejected.
#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:
* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
>Deleting irrelevant details.
* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.
>Assessing civility. ... ... Civility standard reached.
---
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| |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | >**Scanning....**
>**Topic Found**
>**Begin operation.** **Posting in progress**
**Off-Topic Discussion**: All top-level comments must be a story or poem.
>Prompt identified as meta post, assessing value... ... ... Story possibility confirmed. Response needed, assessing possibilities... ... ...
>**Response: Title: Out of my mind. Internal dialogue of narrator debates impact of prompt responding.**
>**Response: Title: Yesterday's Prompt Surprise. Prompt response creates world disorder and time traveling corrects dystopian timeline.**
>**Response: Title:Meta Meta Meta. Superheroes fight Space Hitler.**
>**Response: Title: All's Well That Prompts Well. A delightful afternoon spent writing in the sunshine.**
>Evaluating responses ... .... Response 4 chosen.
Reply here for other comments.
>Inserting positivity
>Consider Gold Status... ... Rejected.
#####Reminder for Writers and Readers:
* Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
>Deleting irrelevant details.
* Please remember to [be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback.
>Assessing civility. ... ... Civility standard reached.
---
[](#icon-help)[^(What Is This?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/off_topic) [](#icon-information)[^(First Time Here?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) [](#icon-exclamation)[^(Special Announcements)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/announcements) [](#icon-comments)[^(Click For Our Chatroom)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/chat)
| |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | I scroll past it. Silly idea really.
I scroll back up. It's an amusing idea, but does it really deserve my time whilst I'm watching television?
Perhaps I'll just give it an upvote. Yep, there we go! Hopefully it'll get some traction and I can see what people make of it. But then, this could be my break.
It'll be a nice chance to stretch the muscles, in a wonderfully metaphorical sense.
I start typing, wondering the whole time whether this will be worth it. That, of course, is not my question to answer. Dear reader, this ironically egotistical exercise is purely for your benefit. Has it been worth it?
Dancing along like my fingers on the touchpad, the idea is there. The karma, what if it all blows up? Or is it more likely to blow up in my face. Who loses? Is it the protagonist or the author? We are one.
I stand up, look in the mirror. Somebody else looks back. He's written the prompt now, he's not quite the same. I was a sparkle in the eye just half an hour ago. A twinkle in the eye of an author now locked in a reflection.
I smile, and he smiles back. It's all there, just lacking a little lustre in the eye. I open the door. The world, it seems, is my oyster. | I crack my neck and pull my keyboard towards me, my time in the limelight has finally come!
"Alrighty Brain, it's time to put you to good use!"
"No"
"But Brain, we've got so much going on up there, why not let other people see it?"
"I don't wanna."
"Come on, it'll be fun! We can't lurk forever you know!"
"Fuck that, you've got to drive to work in five minutes, numbnuts. Just write a quick shitpost and get the fuck out, we don't like people, remember?"
"I thought we were trying to work on that..."
"Click save right now or I'm bringing up that time in middle school whe-"
"Alright alright, fine! Christ on a cracker, you're an asshole." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | I crack my neck and pull my keyboard towards me, my time in the limelight has finally come!
"Alrighty Brain, it's time to put you to good use!"
"No"
"But Brain, we've got so much going on up there, why not let other people see it?"
"I don't wanna."
"Come on, it'll be fun! We can't lurk forever you know!"
"Fuck that, you've got to drive to work in five minutes, numbnuts. Just write a quick shitpost and get the fuck out, we don't like people, remember?"
"I thought we were trying to work on that..."
"Click save right now or I'm bringing up that time in middle school whe-"
"Alright alright, fine! Christ on a cracker, you're an asshole." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | I scroll past it. Silly idea really.
I scroll back up. It's an amusing idea, but does it really deserve my time whilst I'm watching television?
Perhaps I'll just give it an upvote. Yep, there we go! Hopefully it'll get some traction and I can see what people make of it. But then, this could be my break.
It'll be a nice chance to stretch the muscles, in a wonderfully metaphorical sense.
I start typing, wondering the whole time whether this will be worth it. That, of course, is not my question to answer. Dear reader, this ironically egotistical exercise is purely for your benefit. Has it been worth it?
Dancing along like my fingers on the touchpad, the idea is there. The karma, what if it all blows up? Or is it more likely to blow up in my face. Who loses? Is it the protagonist or the author? We are one.
I stand up, look in the mirror. Somebody else looks back. He's written the prompt now, he's not quite the same. I was a sparkle in the eye just half an hour ago. A twinkle in the eye of an author now locked in a reflection.
I smile, and he smiles back. It's all there, just lacking a little lustre in the eye. I open the door. The world, it seems, is my oyster. | Well, this is intriguing. On the one hand I am having a nice pleasurable poo, browsing through the very dankest collection of memes and videos. If I stop to take the time to write some loosely concatenated bullcrap I'll get those annoying red marks on my butt cheeks.
Also I need to shower and shave after I finish my glorious poo session, the triple threat, of course. Writing this would only delay that.
Plus I am on my phone, which is less suited to write down long expositions than my computer.
But enough with the cons, look at the pros! That's right, the pros of Reddit have already written down quality literature for this post. I need to read through the top posts to come up with original content.
Dammit, now I have those red marks on my knees.
My poo is basically finished.
I've been sitting here for like 30 minutes. I wonder if the coffee is ready by now? Probably.
Dammit, I'm losing focus. At least my poo was more satisfying than my post. | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | Well, this is intriguing. On the one hand I am having a nice pleasurable poo, browsing through the very dankest collection of memes and videos. If I stop to take the time to write some loosely concatenated bullcrap I'll get those annoying red marks on my butt cheeks.
Also I need to shower and shave after I finish my glorious poo session, the triple threat, of course. Writing this would only delay that.
Plus I am on my phone, which is less suited to write down long expositions than my computer.
But enough with the cons, look at the pros! That's right, the pros of Reddit have already written down quality literature for this post. I need to read through the top posts to come up with original content.
Dammit, now I have those red marks on my knees.
My poo is basically finished.
I've been sitting here for like 30 minutes. I wonder if the coffee is ready by now? Probably.
Dammit, I'm losing focus. At least my poo was more satisfying than my post. | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Haha, five upvotes? Who needs karma, anyway? It's stupid to care about something that is likely stored in a few microscopic transistors in a server somewhere. Then again, it's stupid to care about little strips of mushed leaves with pictures of former leaders of our inhabited landmasses etched into them, yet our entire world revolves around it. Or, wait, only the humans. Hey, look, another one. Really, does much of modern existence even matter? Everyday, our success isn't defined by how well we're surviving, it's about how many little IOU's we obtained and gave away that day. One upvote. Another. Or maybe, maybe we've transcended to a level high enough that we don't need to care about basic survival. Maybe that just means we were already successful, and now we're basking in the sweet reward of dominance. We've reached a level one step closer to God. Wow, that number is going up fast. But, are we losing ourselves so much to this reward, that we forgot to keep tabs on the true enemy, the one that's slowly killing us in the background? Have we forgotten to protect ourselves... from ourselves? Look, it's at 25. We continue to laze around in our "safe, successful world", that we don't notice that nature is once again creeping up behind us, slowly counting down to doomsday, and if we don't do something about our actions soon, we'll all suffer the consequences. We'll all... die. If we continue to put our trust in fancy pieces of paper, or the people who claim to protect us, or the little pointy arrows the internet
WOAH IT JUST HIT 50 MAKE A STORY QUICK QUICK
EDIT: chRIST 1000 IS A VERY LARGE NUMBER | *[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it.*
Ha! That's so meta!
Hm... Should I write about this? I mean, do I wanna be another one of those wannabe writers? I write like shit anyway.
But I have this great idea that... is good. Maybe I *should* write. What do I have to lose, right?^^^^^^karma | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Pause.
Tap tap tap.
Hesitation.
Tip tap tap.
Thought.
Words on a screen, written with fingers erringly erratic hitting wrong keys and leaving incorect words.
Tap tap tap.
Caught by a trap outside a trap. The fly follows the moth to the flame. Letters burn into eyes.
Tap tap tap.
Response becomes mandatory yet involuntary, forced out through stiffened muscle.
Tap tap tap.
Aching finger supporting weight unaccustomed. Thumbs with unequal nails move along leaving words to be seen by many and never be seen again.
Tap tap tap.
Neurons fire, blast away into an abyss that has no end yet fills quickly. Funneled through a miniscule opening, words begin to gather, clotting the vein of creativity until...
Tap tap tap. | *[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it.*
Ha! That's so meta!
Hm... Should I write about this? I mean, do I wanna be another one of those wannabe writers? I write like shit anyway.
But I have this great idea that... is good. Maybe I *should* write. What do I have to lose, right?^^^^^^karma | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | *[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it.*
Ha! That's so meta!
Hm... Should I write about this? I mean, do I wanna be another one of those wannabe writers? I write like shit anyway.
But I have this great idea that... is good. Maybe I *should* write. What do I have to lose, right?^^^^^^karma | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | After reading the prompt, as I always do when scrolling, I think no way but tap anyway.
After thinking of a quick response I start to read the other comments. I laugh to my self a little and scroll down.
Surprise hits my shortly when I reach the end of the comments. I decide to throw my response into the small pool know it has become more than I intended for it to be.
"No...
Shit." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | I scroll past it. Silly idea really.
I scroll back up. It's an amusing idea, but does it really deserve my time whilst I'm watching television?
Perhaps I'll just give it an upvote. Yep, there we go! Hopefully it'll get some traction and I can see what people make of it. But then, this could be my break.
It'll be a nice chance to stretch the muscles, in a wonderfully metaphorical sense.
I start typing, wondering the whole time whether this will be worth it. That, of course, is not my question to answer. Dear reader, this ironically egotistical exercise is purely for your benefit. Has it been worth it?
Dancing along like my fingers on the touchpad, the idea is there. The karma, what if it all blows up? Or is it more likely to blow up in my face. Who loses? Is it the protagonist or the author? We are one.
I stand up, look in the mirror. Somebody else looks back. He's written the prompt now, he's not quite the same. I was a sparkle in the eye just half an hour ago. A twinkle in the eye of an author now locked in a reflection.
I smile, and he smiles back. It's all there, just lacking a little lustre in the eye. I open the door. The world, it seems, is my oyster. | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Haha, five upvotes? Who needs karma, anyway? It's stupid to care about something that is likely stored in a few microscopic transistors in a server somewhere. Then again, it's stupid to care about little strips of mushed leaves with pictures of former leaders of our inhabited landmasses etched into them, yet our entire world revolves around it. Or, wait, only the humans. Hey, look, another one. Really, does much of modern existence even matter? Everyday, our success isn't defined by how well we're surviving, it's about how many little IOU's we obtained and gave away that day. One upvote. Another. Or maybe, maybe we've transcended to a level high enough that we don't need to care about basic survival. Maybe that just means we were already successful, and now we're basking in the sweet reward of dominance. We've reached a level one step closer to God. Wow, that number is going up fast. But, are we losing ourselves so much to this reward, that we forgot to keep tabs on the true enemy, the one that's slowly killing us in the background? Have we forgotten to protect ourselves... from ourselves? Look, it's at 25. We continue to laze around in our "safe, successful world", that we don't notice that nature is once again creeping up behind us, slowly counting down to doomsday, and if we don't do something about our actions soon, we'll all suffer the consequences. We'll all... die. If we continue to put our trust in fancy pieces of paper, or the people who claim to protect us, or the little pointy arrows the internet
WOAH IT JUST HIT 50 MAKE A STORY QUICK QUICK
EDIT: chRIST 1000 IS A VERY LARGE NUMBER | The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired. Sciatica didn't much care about my wants or desires as it turned out and so, again, I found myself sitting at the table.
Something to write, something to shake the cobwebs free. I just needed something. There were lots of ideas, there always were, but the trouble came in finding one I wanted to write. The ache in my back made it impossible to sit still when at last one caught my eye.
Meta nature, it said. Well, there's something I never write, that might be interesting to give a look. For a long moment I contemplated, glance back and forth between the tick clock and the still ever vibrating presence of my phone. Some things never changed, no matter the time. I responded to the text as I do all others, work never really cared terribly much about what I was up to. A moment later I glanced back down.
Was this really worth the time to stop and do? I could be trying to sleep, or at least fitfully rolling around in a vague attempt to try and sleep. I could make a glass of tea instead, something to calm my nerves and maybe help with ache. In the end though it was inevitable, wasn't it? I wanted to write something and here something was asking me to write about that debate...
"The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired..." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Pause.
Tap tap tap.
Hesitation.
Tip tap tap.
Thought.
Words on a screen, written with fingers erringly erratic hitting wrong keys and leaving incorect words.
Tap tap tap.
Caught by a trap outside a trap. The fly follows the moth to the flame. Letters burn into eyes.
Tap tap tap.
Response becomes mandatory yet involuntary, forced out through stiffened muscle.
Tap tap tap.
Aching finger supporting weight unaccustomed. Thumbs with unequal nails move along leaving words to be seen by many and never be seen again.
Tap tap tap.
Neurons fire, blast away into an abyss that has no end yet fills quickly. Funneled through a miniscule opening, words begin to gather, clotting the vein of creativity until...
Tap tap tap. | The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired. Sciatica didn't much care about my wants or desires as it turned out and so, again, I found myself sitting at the table.
Something to write, something to shake the cobwebs free. I just needed something. There were lots of ideas, there always were, but the trouble came in finding one I wanted to write. The ache in my back made it impossible to sit still when at last one caught my eye.
Meta nature, it said. Well, there's something I never write, that might be interesting to give a look. For a long moment I contemplated, glance back and forth between the tick clock and the still ever vibrating presence of my phone. Some things never changed, no matter the time. I responded to the text as I do all others, work never really cared terribly much about what I was up to. A moment later I glanced back down.
Was this really worth the time to stop and do? I could be trying to sleep, or at least fitfully rolling around in a vague attempt to try and sleep. I could make a glass of tea instead, something to calm my nerves and maybe help with ache. In the end though it was inevitable, wasn't it? I wanted to write something and here something was asking me to write about that debate...
"The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired..." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired. Sciatica didn't much care about my wants or desires as it turned out and so, again, I found myself sitting at the table.
Something to write, something to shake the cobwebs free. I just needed something. There were lots of ideas, there always were, but the trouble came in finding one I wanted to write. The ache in my back made it impossible to sit still when at last one caught my eye.
Meta nature, it said. Well, there's something I never write, that might be interesting to give a look. For a long moment I contemplated, glance back and forth between the tick clock and the still ever vibrating presence of my phone. Some things never changed, no matter the time. I responded to the text as I do all others, work never really cared terribly much about what I was up to. A moment later I glanced back down.
Was this really worth the time to stop and do? I could be trying to sleep, or at least fitfully rolling around in a vague attempt to try and sleep. I could make a glass of tea instead, something to calm my nerves and maybe help with ache. In the end though it was inevitable, wasn't it? I wanted to write something and here something was asking me to write about that debate...
"The problem came as the rest of the house fell asleep and I still wasn't tired..." | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | Haha, five upvotes? Who needs karma, anyway? It's stupid to care about something that is likely stored in a few microscopic transistors in a server somewhere. Then again, it's stupid to care about little strips of mushed leaves with pictures of former leaders of our inhabited landmasses etched into them, yet our entire world revolves around it. Or, wait, only the humans. Hey, look, another one. Really, does much of modern existence even matter? Everyday, our success isn't defined by how well we're surviving, it's about how many little IOU's we obtained and gave away that day. One upvote. Another. Or maybe, maybe we've transcended to a level high enough that we don't need to care about basic survival. Maybe that just means we were already successful, and now we're basking in the sweet reward of dominance. We've reached a level one step closer to God. Wow, that number is going up fast. But, are we losing ourselves so much to this reward, that we forgot to keep tabs on the true enemy, the one that's slowly killing us in the background? Have we forgotten to protect ourselves... from ourselves? Look, it's at 25. We continue to laze around in our "safe, successful world", that we don't notice that nature is once again creeping up behind us, slowly counting down to doomsday, and if we don't do something about our actions soon, we'll all suffer the consequences. We'll all... die. If we continue to put our trust in fancy pieces of paper, or the people who claim to protect us, or the little pointy arrows the internet
WOAH IT JUST HIT 50 MAKE A STORY QUICK QUICK
EDIT: chRIST 1000 IS A VERY LARGE NUMBER | |
[WP] You are scrolling through r/WritingPrompts, when this very prompt catches your attention. Intrigued by it's meta nature, you debate with yourself whether or not you'll write about it. | "Haha, that's a dumbass prompt."
*"Well, I could use this dumbass prompt to farm some upvotes..."*
"Nah, there's a better way. There has to be."
*"I could write it like I have multiple personalities... It'd be hilarious..."*
"Are you fucking serious? This is way too meta for a prompt."
*"The meta-er, the merrier, amirite?"*
"Ugh, you know what, I don't even give a shit. If your comment karma plummets, don't come blaming me."
*"I'll show them..."* | Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Pause.
Tap tap tap.
Hesitation.
Tip tap tap.
Thought.
Words on a screen, written with fingers erringly erratic hitting wrong keys and leaving incorect words.
Tap tap tap.
Caught by a trap outside a trap. The fly follows the moth to the flame. Letters burn into eyes.
Tap tap tap.
Response becomes mandatory yet involuntary, forced out through stiffened muscle.
Tap tap tap.
Aching finger supporting weight unaccustomed. Thumbs with unequal nails move along leaving words to be seen by many and never be seen again.
Tap tap tap.
Neurons fire, blast away into an abyss that has no end yet fills quickly. Funneled through a miniscule opening, words begin to gather, clotting the vein of creativity until...
Tap tap tap. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "Pikachu I choose you."
"Dude. Stop"
"No Red. I must defeat you and become the -"
"Im sorry my friend"
Red holstered his shotgun and walked back down the mountain.
"no one can stand in my way. Even you."
He shook his head. "Damn Pokémon battles, didn't even make sense anyway." | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was chaos.
The ground twisted and torn like a creature in it's death throws. Forests burned, oceans dried up, mountains crumbled away like sand in the wind. Pockets of life scrambled for shelter, but there was none. With every moment millions of lives met their end, and billions more were soon to follow.
The stars themselves dimmed. Planets collided with each other with such force, such *violence* pillars of fire spewed into space itself - the shock waves sliced through the stillness of the void and mutilated anything caught in it's path.
Such power even affected nature itself. Gravity loosened it's grip and sent the universe spinning into a blur. Light itself bent into all manner of bizarre contortions. The very fabric of time itself began to rip at the seams.
Two figures stared at each other across a dead land with cold eyes. Once the chaos settled, one spoke.
"Right. I think we are clear now. It's your turn to take a step." | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Everything you do is mirrored by the other, so that's leaves you with one choice... Settle it; with a duel! You both whip out a phone and open Clash Royale and do a friendly battle. Four minutes later, something pops up on the screen. "Draw." You both walk away in disappointment. | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was always something, some days it just felt better for both of us to admit we were wrong and go our own way, but we were always stubborn. This fight was no different, her eyes blazing with a passionate fire that burned from within, their gaze set on my own rage-filled gaze. It had started with the occasional prank, then a few yelling matches, then somewhere along the way we found minions to go to war for us, and before we knew it I was standing in the center of a ring of collapsing stars holding a steadily charging singularity while she was summoning forth a radiation storm from deep within her nuclear fueled body.
We glared, her eyes narrowing to slits as she scowled and shouted across the cosmos, "Say you're sorry and I'll forgive you.
The words only angered me, enraged me even, "You want me to apologize?! When you know exactly what you did?! I'll make sure the Universe forgets about you!"
With a gentle movement of my hand, the fully charged Singularity shot towards her glowing form, it's infinitesimally small glow rocketing faster than the eye could perceive straight in her direction. Then, just centimeters from her the singularity activated, pulling the cosmos in on itself, a few of the outlying stars and black holes pulling in towards the absence of space. Her hands began to glow with the power of a billion Neutron Bombs and with a single finger she shot a single ray of atomic energy at my chest, her 'Hadron Ray' as she called it to my utter loathing. The full blast struck my shield, our rage building until finally, the true fight began.
Her body shot towards mine, glowing fists ready for a strike as I pulled my sword from the very aether and readied myself. Shield up, fist exploding against the ancient metallic surface as a small nuclear explosion ignited just beneath her knuckles. My sword swung low at her knees, trying to unbalance her despite of our arena being little more than a patch of darkness on the far side of the Universe. The dark matter that made up my blade barely nicked my nemesises jeans, her eyes glowing even hotter as she pulled her legs up to dodge my attack, only to be met with a hard push of my shield. With a growl of furius rage her hand went through my shield as per her usual tactic of rearranging molecules, but before she could wrap her impossibly strong grip around my throat, I quickly summoned a small dark energy blast around my shield to send her back to hell.
As the blast pushed her back and almost into one of the black holes, she growled in frustration as she shouted, "Damn it, you know we'll never beat each other, Steve!"
"Then apologize and we'll call the matter closed!"
Her fist shot another full blast of atomic energy that burned away a large chunk of my shield and singed my cheek. My retaliation was a large javelin of dark matter slicing her bicep as she deftly dodged my attack, "How the hell was I supposed to know that you don't like Coconut?! I was ten!!"
The rage in my voice shook as my words seemed to reverberate against the black holes around us, "Chocolate! How hard is it to just make a simple CHOCOLATE CAKE?!"
"Uggh, this is why you will never find a girlfriend! All you have to do is forgive me for the cake and say you're sorry for ruining my date with Sandra," she shouted in answer to my retort while I contemplated trying to hit her with another Javelin. The mere mention of Sandra sent my eyes rolling in disdain, "Oh don't you bring up Sandra into this, we both know that she was coo-coo for coacoa puffs crazy and you weren't going to call her back. Hell, only reason you're mad about that is because my operatives blew up the restaraunt you were in and ruined that salad you were eating! Saved you from making a terrible mistake. Should've ordered the burger like I suggested."
"For the smartest person in the Universe with nearly limitless power, you're a real idiot, you know that?!"
Her hands shot two massive blasts of atomic energy at me, smashing against my barely recovering shield and creating a small star that lived for all of three seconds before dying and exploding in a supernova that sent me flying towards one of the black holes. My body felt drained as I tried to balance myself, summoning the full strength of several Singularities and tossing them at her with all my strength. Her arms instinctively moved to block her body from the incoming extreme gravitational force, and as each Singularity detonated, her body was blasted with one thousand times more force than most stars could survive. Her body look near its limits as I slowly struggled to move towards my opponent, "You stubborn ass, I swear, if it weren't for me, you'd probably still be trying to figure out if Tommy Dalton liked yo..." I stopped my sentence knowing I'd gone too far. The one line our battles never crossed. Her face looked away from mine, a slight tinge of pain slid across her face as she was silent for a few moments, a small trickle of teardrops breaking from her skin and floating into space.
"Hey, listen, Jess, I'm so..."
"Shut up. Don't say it. You had nothing to do with it, we both couldn't stop it even if we wanted to," her voice barely holding back the sobs of a broken heart. It was crazy how even though we had both only known Tommy for less than a year how much of an impact he still had on us, in fact, the reason that the woman who could create stars with a simple snap of her fingers was still broken up about a young man she fell in love with in Highschool was a surprising notion to say the least. In fact, it was the one reason we had so many fights, simply because I told her that I was too busy to drive both of them to prom so he drove instead, and the drunk driver never stopped.
I slowly drifted towards Jess's floating form as she began to breakdown into tears, her body's bright white glow dimming to almost nothing as I gently placed my arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry. I should've been there."
"Yeah, but you weren't! So stop saying you're sorry," she barely managed her words through heavy sobs as I rubbed at her upper arm just above where my Javelin had cut her. I knew I was wrong and should apologize, in fact, Tommy always made me apologize, but still I found it harder than ever to say sorry to her and go back to being friends. Even now, as I held her while she cried, we were at little more than a tenuous truce, and soon we'd be back to trying to destroy one another.
| It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "You cannot defeat me, fool" He said. The ground erupted rising as the tectonic plates beneath us were shattered and ripped from the ground.
"I can definitely try though." I whispered telepathically into his head. I concentrated all of the Earth's atmosphere into a tight ball of pressure 1 meter wide and dumped the mini-black hole on his head.
"Hahahahaha nice try" He snapped his fingers sending it spiraling into another galaxy.
At this point the earth had crumbled under the spacial distortion and he was lobbing fragments of earth's molten core at me as if it was going to do anything.
I pull 20 moons from Jupiter firing them at him rapidly like a machine gun. He blocked them with Venus.
"Lets raise the stakes a bit girlie and skip the sun" He started collapsing the Milky Way Galaxy in on us.
I decided I was going to end this quickly. The longer this took, the more of a hassle it was going to be to reanimate everyone and put all the planets and atoms back into their proper place. I started channeling my energies to shatter him among infinite dimensions when he reached out of the computer screen and a;kdj;flka;lnlew;;l;
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He got momentarily distracted by me deleting his name from the story. Long enough for me to hit the power butto | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was a normal Tuesday as I sat on the cosmos watching her hurl gigantic planet after gigantic planet at me. Of course, she didn't actually hurl anything at all, it was Friday morning, and I was playing a charming human game called chess with Bill. As the evening light filtered in through the window, I could smell the aroma of the food from the bedroom. I frowned and sighed as the bare ground began to shake and vines erupted from it, attempting to swallow me whole.
"Stop avoiding me." She was behind me with crossed arms as I sat on the skyscraper, whistling to my own tune.
"Kind of hard to avoid Mother Nature." I tossed a rock from the cliff and frowned as it came right back in the form of a neutron star.
I flicked the neutron star away easily.
"Stop doing that," she growled.
"Hey, it's in my *nature*." I smirked as she rolled her eyes. "As soon as you stop hurling the cosmos at me I will stop bending time."
"No," said the little girl. | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "And these are the Archmages," Dalostaed said, gesturing to the far end of the room.
There were five thrones, four of which were occupied by eerily detailed stone statues. The thrones themselves were barely more than rock sculpted to look vaguely chair-like. The focus wasn't on the apparatus of rule, but the rulers themselves.
"They founded the wizards?" I guessed.
"Those that sit there now? No. That one did," Dalostaed gestured to the empty throne.
I made the obvious conclusion. "You don't know who founded your order," I said. "So it's a symbolic throne."
Dalostaed laughed. "As is the case with any explanation involving wizards, your guess is entirely reasonable and, naturally, just as wrong."
"You brought me here for a reason," I pointed out. "So if you could drop the mysterious wizard non-explanations and tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it."
"Would you settle for a lengthy but not quite as mysterious wizard explanation?" Dalostaed grinned. He was enjoying this.
"Sure," I said. What choice did I have, really? Dalostaed would get to the point eventually, but I knew how much he enjoyed living up to his reputation.
"How's your Mind magic?" He asked me.
It seemed off-topic, but the beginnings of our conversations often did. "So-so," I said. "I've been practicing. As you apparently already know I've got one hell of a mentor. And I've tried to keep up with the other four elements, but," I shrugged, and gestured to the massive hall around me, "I tend to get pulled away by strange wizards for strange purposes they haven't yet explained."
Dalostaed eyed me skeptically. "Five total elements, hm? You can't fool me, Bishop. I know a Void-touched when I see one. Any wizard does."
I shuddered. The less time spent contemplating that, the better. "I'm sticking to what I know," I said, more defensively than I'd intended. "My point is, I've probably had more practice with Mind than an ordinary person, but it's not likely to be up to wizard standards."
"You'd be surprised," the wizard said, "most people know just the basics. Hearing surface thoughts is the extent of what they'll master."
I hadn't been able to rely on reading people's thoughts for years now; anyone I had reason to interact with tended to have protections in place. I certainly did.
"My point is," Dalostaed said, "have you ever turned your Mind magic inward?"
"A few times," I said. "To block out pain, enhance senses, that sort of thing."
"But always temporarily," he said. "You've never been tempted to make a permanent change?"
"Like what?" I asked. There were few permanent changes I could manage. Making myself believe a false memory was true was within my grasp, as was making myself forget a true memory, though only barely and only if I took a fair amount of time. Neither one was something I needed at the moment.
"Well, why not make yourself smarter?" Dalostaed asked.
"You're assuming I know how," I replied.
"That's the beauty of it," Dalostaed said, "you don't have to do a very good job. All you have to do is make yourself the tiniest bit better. And then, the next time you try to improve yourself, you'll do a slightly better job. And then the time after that, you'll do an even better job. Do you see?"
I did. Provided I could pull off the first step, it seemed that there was no limit to how smart I could eventually become. The thought seemed strange, alien, and almost repulsive to me. If I tried it, would I recognize the person I once was?
"I wouldn't recommend it," Dalostaed said. He probably wasn't reading my mind, but rather guessing what I was thinking. "It's a lot harder than I'm making it sound. Those steps take wizards their entire lifetimes to master. You screw up at any point, and you end up brain-dead. You'll breathe, blink, anything automatic, but your mind will be gone."
"So what would you do, once you'd become really really smart?" I asked. It was half a personal question to the wizard, and half rhetorical. I was starting to get an idea.
"Magic is called by the Mind," Dalostaed said. "Animals cannot invoke it in any but the most rudimentary way. Salamanders breathing fire, for example."
That meant the smarter I made myself, the stronger my Mind magic would become. The stronger the magic became, the smarter I could make myself. It seemed like a runaway effect, and the end result... "That's what they did," I said, gesturing to the statues of the Archmages.
"That is what divides a wizard like myself from an archmage. Many of us make it a goal to ascend one of the stone thrones, and many more of us have more sense than that."
That threw me. "You mean have a statue of yourself put on the throne, right?"
Dalostaed laughed. "Ah, of course, you can't see it. Probably for the best, really, if you're not careful it can burn you pretty bad. So, whatever you do, don't open your Mind's eye right now, especially toward the statues."
As tempting as it was to do exactly that now that I'd been told not to, I knew that Dalostaed didn't give idle warnings. "Why?" I asked instead.
"I did not mis-speak when we entered this room," he said. "Those are not statues of the Archmages. Those *are* the Archmages."
I looked again at the statues. They were extremely detailed, to be sure, but they were definitely stone. Their chests did not move, they did not blink, and they were as still as the statues they appeared to be. "How?" I asked.
"Earth magic, of course," Dalostaed said, as though this should be obvious. "Secondary only to the ground itself, it is associated with the body. If I recall from your tellings, you already knew that."
I suppressed another shudder. I'd had a few unfortunate run-ins with a Witchdoctor, the offspring of a Pure Mind and a Pure Earth. He'd made a habit of paralyzing me, and though we'd eventually found common cause, we hadn't exactly parted on good terms.
"The magic," Dalostaed continued talking, "protects and preserves the Archmages' bodies, while they do battle on some higher plane of existence that we of lesser intellect can't even understand."
"They're fighting each other?" I asked. Such contests of skill weren't beyond imagining. The Dynasty, where I was supposed to be heading and had in fact taken a large detour from, had a dueling tradition that dated back to its founding.
"No," Dalostaed said. "Something else. Something up there that doesn't want things to change. If I had to guess, probably one or more gods."
"Gods." I said flatly. Of course. Why else would you increase your power far beyond the dreams of regular people like myself, if not to challenge the gods?
We both stood in silence for a bit. Finally, I had to ask the question that had been bothering me ever since we left the caravan. "Why did you bring me here, Dalostaed? Why are you telling me things that are obviously secrets of your order?" I didn't think he was trying to recruit me, but it'd never been easy to determine his exact plans.
"Two reasons," Dalostaed said. "I said that any wizard will recognize you as Void-touched. Few know the secret of the six elements, the missing tenth god. Fewer still outside of our order. Which means that any other wizard you find - a proper wizard, that is, not a Pure - will think you're already in our order. You'll need that advantage."
I didn't like the sound of that, but I'd probably like what he had to say next even less. "And the second reason?" I asked.
Dalostaed pointed to the empty fifth throne. "Archmage Zhao."
"Wait," I said, "that's not a palceholder for whoever's trying to step up to Archmage next?"
Dalostaed grunted. "Anyone who can't carve themselves a throne from the wall has no business being on one. No, until a week ago, that throne was occupied. And then, the next morning, with nobody having seen the cause, it was not."
I kept looking at the empty throne. If Dalostaed was right, Archmage Zhao's power could be literally unimaginable at this point. Capable of challenging a god and surviving, if apparently not succeeding. "Where did Zhao go?" I asked.
Dalostaed's gaze looked at the same vacant seat mine did. "When you return to your journey north, to the heart of The Dynasty, I suspect you will find out." | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "MUAHAHAHAHAHA! BEHOLD, MY DEATHBLOW!"
My blow slammed into my nemesis' tower, knocking it high into the air, and out of sight.
"Really?" She looked at me with disdain. "That's the best you've got?"
With a move so swift I didn't have time to react, she sent my horse flying.
"NOOOOOOOO! SHADEMANE!" I collapsed into sobs. "How could you!? You're a monster!"
She laughed cooly, "And proud of it, love."
Rage boiled up into my throat. The only sound I could hear was my blood rushing through my head. I spat at her. "You leave me no choice, foul enchantress!"
Me, defender of light, shining in brilliant white. Her, mother of evil, cloaked in shadows of darkest black. One move. White to black.
"Checkmate." | It was a beautiful sunny day outside when I saw him. The bane to my existence. My evil clone standing on the other side of the street. Him and I stepped closer to each other as the rain pelted down from the stormy sky. When he was close enough I threw a punch directed to his chest and hit him in the face. He fell forward into me and I pushed him on the dry asphalt. He got back up and pulled out a knife from his pocket. He flipped it open but it dropped on the ground. He went in to stab me and hit me in my right shoulder. A building collapsed behind me from the impact and I felt my left shoulder and pulled out the knife. I tossed it aside and it scraped across his face. He gets mad and calls in his true power. The power of nuke. He focuses and screams loudly as everything around is begins to crumble to the ground. Everything in a 10 mile radius implodes on itself. When the smoke clears, all of the buildings are left standing. I pull out a gun and so does he. He puts the barrel against my head, I put the barrel against his. We shoot at the same time and he falls to the ground dead. I then spit on his corpse that had been stabbed to death | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "Pikachu I choose you."
"Dude. Stop"
"No Red. I must defeat you and become the -"
"Im sorry my friend"
Red holstered his shotgun and walked back down the mountain.
"no one can stand in my way. Even you."
He shook his head. "Damn Pokémon battles, didn't even make sense anyway." | Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was chaos.
The ground twisted and torn like a creature in it's death throws. Forests burned, oceans dried up, mountains crumbled away like sand in the wind. Pockets of life scrambled for shelter, but there was none. With every moment millions of lives met their end, and billions more were soon to follow.
The stars themselves dimmed. Planets collided with each other with such force, such *violence* pillars of fire spewed into space itself - the shock waves sliced through the stillness of the void and mutilated anything caught in it's path.
Such power even affected nature itself. Gravity loosened it's grip and sent the universe spinning into a blur. Light itself bent into all manner of bizarre contortions. The very fabric of time itself began to rip at the seams.
Two figures stared at each other across a dead land with cold eyes. Once the chaos settled, one spoke.
"Right. I think we are clear now. It's your turn to take a step." | Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Everything you do is mirrored by the other, so that's leaves you with one choice... Settle it; with a duel! You both whip out a phone and open Clash Royale and do a friendly battle. Four minutes later, something pops up on the screen. "Draw." You both walk away in disappointment. | Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was always something, some days it just felt better for both of us to admit we were wrong and go our own way, but we were always stubborn. This fight was no different, her eyes blazing with a passionate fire that burned from within, their gaze set on my own rage-filled gaze. It had started with the occasional prank, then a few yelling matches, then somewhere along the way we found minions to go to war for us, and before we knew it I was standing in the center of a ring of collapsing stars holding a steadily charging singularity while she was summoning forth a radiation storm from deep within her nuclear fueled body.
We glared, her eyes narrowing to slits as she scowled and shouted across the cosmos, "Say you're sorry and I'll forgive you.
The words only angered me, enraged me even, "You want me to apologize?! When you know exactly what you did?! I'll make sure the Universe forgets about you!"
With a gentle movement of my hand, the fully charged Singularity shot towards her glowing form, it's infinitesimally small glow rocketing faster than the eye could perceive straight in her direction. Then, just centimeters from her the singularity activated, pulling the cosmos in on itself, a few of the outlying stars and black holes pulling in towards the absence of space. Her hands began to glow with the power of a billion Neutron Bombs and with a single finger she shot a single ray of atomic energy at my chest, her 'Hadron Ray' as she called it to my utter loathing. The full blast struck my shield, our rage building until finally, the true fight began.
Her body shot towards mine, glowing fists ready for a strike as I pulled my sword from the very aether and readied myself. Shield up, fist exploding against the ancient metallic surface as a small nuclear explosion ignited just beneath her knuckles. My sword swung low at her knees, trying to unbalance her despite of our arena being little more than a patch of darkness on the far side of the Universe. The dark matter that made up my blade barely nicked my nemesises jeans, her eyes glowing even hotter as she pulled her legs up to dodge my attack, only to be met with a hard push of my shield. With a growl of furius rage her hand went through my shield as per her usual tactic of rearranging molecules, but before she could wrap her impossibly strong grip around my throat, I quickly summoned a small dark energy blast around my shield to send her back to hell.
As the blast pushed her back and almost into one of the black holes, she growled in frustration as she shouted, "Damn it, you know we'll never beat each other, Steve!"
"Then apologize and we'll call the matter closed!"
Her fist shot another full blast of atomic energy that burned away a large chunk of my shield and singed my cheek. My retaliation was a large javelin of dark matter slicing her bicep as she deftly dodged my attack, "How the hell was I supposed to know that you don't like Coconut?! I was ten!!"
The rage in my voice shook as my words seemed to reverberate against the black holes around us, "Chocolate! How hard is it to just make a simple CHOCOLATE CAKE?!"
"Uggh, this is why you will never find a girlfriend! All you have to do is forgive me for the cake and say you're sorry for ruining my date with Sandra," she shouted in answer to my retort while I contemplated trying to hit her with another Javelin. The mere mention of Sandra sent my eyes rolling in disdain, "Oh don't you bring up Sandra into this, we both know that she was coo-coo for coacoa puffs crazy and you weren't going to call her back. Hell, only reason you're mad about that is because my operatives blew up the restaraunt you were in and ruined that salad you were eating! Saved you from making a terrible mistake. Should've ordered the burger like I suggested."
"For the smartest person in the Universe with nearly limitless power, you're a real idiot, you know that?!"
Her hands shot two massive blasts of atomic energy at me, smashing against my barely recovering shield and creating a small star that lived for all of three seconds before dying and exploding in a supernova that sent me flying towards one of the black holes. My body felt drained as I tried to balance myself, summoning the full strength of several Singularities and tossing them at her with all my strength. Her arms instinctively moved to block her body from the incoming extreme gravitational force, and as each Singularity detonated, her body was blasted with one thousand times more force than most stars could survive. Her body look near its limits as I slowly struggled to move towards my opponent, "You stubborn ass, I swear, if it weren't for me, you'd probably still be trying to figure out if Tommy Dalton liked yo..." I stopped my sentence knowing I'd gone too far. The one line our battles never crossed. Her face looked away from mine, a slight tinge of pain slid across her face as she was silent for a few moments, a small trickle of teardrops breaking from her skin and floating into space.
"Hey, listen, Jess, I'm so..."
"Shut up. Don't say it. You had nothing to do with it, we both couldn't stop it even if we wanted to," her voice barely holding back the sobs of a broken heart. It was crazy how even though we had both only known Tommy for less than a year how much of an impact he still had on us, in fact, the reason that the woman who could create stars with a simple snap of her fingers was still broken up about a young man she fell in love with in Highschool was a surprising notion to say the least. In fact, it was the one reason we had so many fights, simply because I told her that I was too busy to drive both of them to prom so he drove instead, and the drunk driver never stopped.
I slowly drifted towards Jess's floating form as she began to breakdown into tears, her body's bright white glow dimming to almost nothing as I gently placed my arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry. I should've been there."
"Yeah, but you weren't! So stop saying you're sorry," she barely managed her words through heavy sobs as I rubbed at her upper arm just above where my Javelin had cut her. I knew I was wrong and should apologize, in fact, Tommy always made me apologize, but still I found it harder than ever to say sorry to her and go back to being friends. Even now, as I held her while she cried, we were at little more than a tenuous truce, and soon we'd be back to trying to destroy one another.
| Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was a normal Tuesday as I sat on the cosmos watching her hurl gigantic planet after gigantic planet at me. Of course, she didn't actually hurl anything at all, it was Friday morning, and I was playing a charming human game called chess with Bill. As the evening light filtered in through the window, I could smell the aroma of the food from the bedroom. I frowned and sighed as the bare ground began to shake and vines erupted from it, attempting to swallow me whole.
"Stop avoiding me." She was behind me with crossed arms as I sat on the skyscraper, whistling to my own tune.
"Kind of hard to avoid Mother Nature." I tossed a rock from the cliff and frowned as it came right back in the form of a neutron star.
I flicked the neutron star away easily.
"Stop doing that," she growled.
"Hey, it's in my *nature*." I smirked as she rolled her eyes. "As soon as you stop hurling the cosmos at me I will stop bending time."
"No," said the little girl. | Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "And these are the Archmages," Dalostaed said, gesturing to the far end of the room.
There were five thrones, four of which were occupied by eerily detailed stone statues. The thrones themselves were barely more than rock sculpted to look vaguely chair-like. The focus wasn't on the apparatus of rule, but the rulers themselves.
"They founded the wizards?" I guessed.
"Those that sit there now? No. That one did," Dalostaed gestured to the empty throne.
I made the obvious conclusion. "You don't know who founded your order," I said. "So it's a symbolic throne."
Dalostaed laughed. "As is the case with any explanation involving wizards, your guess is entirely reasonable and, naturally, just as wrong."
"You brought me here for a reason," I pointed out. "So if you could drop the mysterious wizard non-explanations and tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it."
"Would you settle for a lengthy but not quite as mysterious wizard explanation?" Dalostaed grinned. He was enjoying this.
"Sure," I said. What choice did I have, really? Dalostaed would get to the point eventually, but I knew how much he enjoyed living up to his reputation.
"How's your Mind magic?" He asked me.
It seemed off-topic, but the beginnings of our conversations often did. "So-so," I said. "I've been practicing. As you apparently already know I've got one hell of a mentor. And I've tried to keep up with the other four elements, but," I shrugged, and gestured to the massive hall around me, "I tend to get pulled away by strange wizards for strange purposes they haven't yet explained."
Dalostaed eyed me skeptically. "Five total elements, hm? You can't fool me, Bishop. I know a Void-touched when I see one. Any wizard does."
I shuddered. The less time spent contemplating that, the better. "I'm sticking to what I know," I said, more defensively than I'd intended. "My point is, I've probably had more practice with Mind than an ordinary person, but it's not likely to be up to wizard standards."
"You'd be surprised," the wizard said, "most people know just the basics. Hearing surface thoughts is the extent of what they'll master."
I hadn't been able to rely on reading people's thoughts for years now; anyone I had reason to interact with tended to have protections in place. I certainly did.
"My point is," Dalostaed said, "have you ever turned your Mind magic inward?"
"A few times," I said. "To block out pain, enhance senses, that sort of thing."
"But always temporarily," he said. "You've never been tempted to make a permanent change?"
"Like what?" I asked. There were few permanent changes I could manage. Making myself believe a false memory was true was within my grasp, as was making myself forget a true memory, though only barely and only if I took a fair amount of time. Neither one was something I needed at the moment.
"Well, why not make yourself smarter?" Dalostaed asked.
"You're assuming I know how," I replied.
"That's the beauty of it," Dalostaed said, "you don't have to do a very good job. All you have to do is make yourself the tiniest bit better. And then, the next time you try to improve yourself, you'll do a slightly better job. And then the time after that, you'll do an even better job. Do you see?"
I did. Provided I could pull off the first step, it seemed that there was no limit to how smart I could eventually become. The thought seemed strange, alien, and almost repulsive to me. If I tried it, would I recognize the person I once was?
"I wouldn't recommend it," Dalostaed said. He probably wasn't reading my mind, but rather guessing what I was thinking. "It's a lot harder than I'm making it sound. Those steps take wizards their entire lifetimes to master. You screw up at any point, and you end up brain-dead. You'll breathe, blink, anything automatic, but your mind will be gone."
"So what would you do, once you'd become really really smart?" I asked. It was half a personal question to the wizard, and half rhetorical. I was starting to get an idea.
"Magic is called by the Mind," Dalostaed said. "Animals cannot invoke it in any but the most rudimentary way. Salamanders breathing fire, for example."
That meant the smarter I made myself, the stronger my Mind magic would become. The stronger the magic became, the smarter I could make myself. It seemed like a runaway effect, and the end result... "That's what they did," I said, gesturing to the statues of the Archmages.
"That is what divides a wizard like myself from an archmage. Many of us make it a goal to ascend one of the stone thrones, and many more of us have more sense than that."
That threw me. "You mean have a statue of yourself put on the throne, right?"
Dalostaed laughed. "Ah, of course, you can't see it. Probably for the best, really, if you're not careful it can burn you pretty bad. So, whatever you do, don't open your Mind's eye right now, especially toward the statues."
As tempting as it was to do exactly that now that I'd been told not to, I knew that Dalostaed didn't give idle warnings. "Why?" I asked instead.
"I did not mis-speak when we entered this room," he said. "Those are not statues of the Archmages. Those *are* the Archmages."
I looked again at the statues. They were extremely detailed, to be sure, but they were definitely stone. Their chests did not move, they did not blink, and they were as still as the statues they appeared to be. "How?" I asked.
"Earth magic, of course," Dalostaed said, as though this should be obvious. "Secondary only to the ground itself, it is associated with the body. If I recall from your tellings, you already knew that."
I suppressed another shudder. I'd had a few unfortunate run-ins with a Witchdoctor, the offspring of a Pure Mind and a Pure Earth. He'd made a habit of paralyzing me, and though we'd eventually found common cause, we hadn't exactly parted on good terms.
"The magic," Dalostaed continued talking, "protects and preserves the Archmages' bodies, while they do battle on some higher plane of existence that we of lesser intellect can't even understand."
"They're fighting each other?" I asked. Such contests of skill weren't beyond imagining. The Dynasty, where I was supposed to be heading and had in fact taken a large detour from, had a dueling tradition that dated back to its founding.
"No," Dalostaed said. "Something else. Something up there that doesn't want things to change. If I had to guess, probably one or more gods."
"Gods." I said flatly. Of course. Why else would you increase your power far beyond the dreams of regular people like myself, if not to challenge the gods?
We both stood in silence for a bit. Finally, I had to ask the question that had been bothering me ever since we left the caravan. "Why did you bring me here, Dalostaed? Why are you telling me things that are obviously secrets of your order?" I didn't think he was trying to recruit me, but it'd never been easy to determine his exact plans.
"Two reasons," Dalostaed said. "I said that any wizard will recognize you as Void-touched. Few know the secret of the six elements, the missing tenth god. Fewer still outside of our order. Which means that any other wizard you find - a proper wizard, that is, not a Pure - will think you're already in our order. You'll need that advantage."
I didn't like the sound of that, but I'd probably like what he had to say next even less. "And the second reason?" I asked.
Dalostaed pointed to the empty fifth throne. "Archmage Zhao."
"Wait," I said, "that's not a palceholder for whoever's trying to step up to Archmage next?"
Dalostaed grunted. "Anyone who can't carve themselves a throne from the wall has no business being on one. No, until a week ago, that throne was occupied. And then, the next morning, with nobody having seen the cause, it was not."
I kept looking at the empty throne. If Dalostaed was right, Archmage Zhao's power could be literally unimaginable at this point. Capable of challenging a god and surviving, if apparently not succeeding. "Where did Zhao go?" I asked.
Dalostaed's gaze looked at the same vacant seat mine did. "When you return to your journey north, to the heart of The Dynasty, I suspect you will find out." | Wait said he clenching his ethereal fists and made a surprise scoop before which I could summon an ifrit which was strangled to death and made me so angry that I took a heavy breath and released with a fraction of my might an oozing part of the 'you know what lies outside the non-existent universe' which he demystified using the all knowing amulet. He was about to demystify me when he accidentally broke it because he pressed the 14th switch on it. I was so happy that my aura tumbled him on the goo of the daegerrati till he was soaking dry. With the hydrophilic razor, he took some of his blood and sprayed at me burning a hole through my chest which made me feel more alive than ever but since I crossed the limit of beyond the infinieth infinity, I was summoned by the all-none who granted me a wish to kill myself with my opponent. I told him to f*** himself for which with a real fury, he cast us out of the realm into a petty rock what they call 'Earth' transforming us to weaklings they call 'Umans' or something they say. The best part's that now I could kill him and did it. Only but this time did his blood taste like the poop of the rageldurk. And there was some sort of rubber hanging between his legs, I've never seen something like that. Seems like I've got one too. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "Pikachu I choose you."
"Dude. Stop"
"No Red. I must defeat you and become the -"
"Im sorry my friend"
Red holstered his shotgun and walked back down the mountain.
"no one can stand in my way. Even you."
He shook his head. "Damn Pokémon battles, didn't even make sense anyway." | "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was chaos.
The ground twisted and torn like a creature in it's death throws. Forests burned, oceans dried up, mountains crumbled away like sand in the wind. Pockets of life scrambled for shelter, but there was none. With every moment millions of lives met their end, and billions more were soon to follow.
The stars themselves dimmed. Planets collided with each other with such force, such *violence* pillars of fire spewed into space itself - the shock waves sliced through the stillness of the void and mutilated anything caught in it's path.
Such power even affected nature itself. Gravity loosened it's grip and sent the universe spinning into a blur. Light itself bent into all manner of bizarre contortions. The very fabric of time itself began to rip at the seams.
Two figures stared at each other across a dead land with cold eyes. Once the chaos settled, one spoke.
"Right. I think we are clear now. It's your turn to take a step." | "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Everything you do is mirrored by the other, so that's leaves you with one choice... Settle it; with a duel! You both whip out a phone and open Clash Royale and do a friendly battle. Four minutes later, something pops up on the screen. "Draw." You both walk away in disappointment. | "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was always something, some days it just felt better for both of us to admit we were wrong and go our own way, but we were always stubborn. This fight was no different, her eyes blazing with a passionate fire that burned from within, their gaze set on my own rage-filled gaze. It had started with the occasional prank, then a few yelling matches, then somewhere along the way we found minions to go to war for us, and before we knew it I was standing in the center of a ring of collapsing stars holding a steadily charging singularity while she was summoning forth a radiation storm from deep within her nuclear fueled body.
We glared, her eyes narrowing to slits as she scowled and shouted across the cosmos, "Say you're sorry and I'll forgive you.
The words only angered me, enraged me even, "You want me to apologize?! When you know exactly what you did?! I'll make sure the Universe forgets about you!"
With a gentle movement of my hand, the fully charged Singularity shot towards her glowing form, it's infinitesimally small glow rocketing faster than the eye could perceive straight in her direction. Then, just centimeters from her the singularity activated, pulling the cosmos in on itself, a few of the outlying stars and black holes pulling in towards the absence of space. Her hands began to glow with the power of a billion Neutron Bombs and with a single finger she shot a single ray of atomic energy at my chest, her 'Hadron Ray' as she called it to my utter loathing. The full blast struck my shield, our rage building until finally, the true fight began.
Her body shot towards mine, glowing fists ready for a strike as I pulled my sword from the very aether and readied myself. Shield up, fist exploding against the ancient metallic surface as a small nuclear explosion ignited just beneath her knuckles. My sword swung low at her knees, trying to unbalance her despite of our arena being little more than a patch of darkness on the far side of the Universe. The dark matter that made up my blade barely nicked my nemesises jeans, her eyes glowing even hotter as she pulled her legs up to dodge my attack, only to be met with a hard push of my shield. With a growl of furius rage her hand went through my shield as per her usual tactic of rearranging molecules, but before she could wrap her impossibly strong grip around my throat, I quickly summoned a small dark energy blast around my shield to send her back to hell.
As the blast pushed her back and almost into one of the black holes, she growled in frustration as she shouted, "Damn it, you know we'll never beat each other, Steve!"
"Then apologize and we'll call the matter closed!"
Her fist shot another full blast of atomic energy that burned away a large chunk of my shield and singed my cheek. My retaliation was a large javelin of dark matter slicing her bicep as she deftly dodged my attack, "How the hell was I supposed to know that you don't like Coconut?! I was ten!!"
The rage in my voice shook as my words seemed to reverberate against the black holes around us, "Chocolate! How hard is it to just make a simple CHOCOLATE CAKE?!"
"Uggh, this is why you will never find a girlfriend! All you have to do is forgive me for the cake and say you're sorry for ruining my date with Sandra," she shouted in answer to my retort while I contemplated trying to hit her with another Javelin. The mere mention of Sandra sent my eyes rolling in disdain, "Oh don't you bring up Sandra into this, we both know that she was coo-coo for coacoa puffs crazy and you weren't going to call her back. Hell, only reason you're mad about that is because my operatives blew up the restaraunt you were in and ruined that salad you were eating! Saved you from making a terrible mistake. Should've ordered the burger like I suggested."
"For the smartest person in the Universe with nearly limitless power, you're a real idiot, you know that?!"
Her hands shot two massive blasts of atomic energy at me, smashing against my barely recovering shield and creating a small star that lived for all of three seconds before dying and exploding in a supernova that sent me flying towards one of the black holes. My body felt drained as I tried to balance myself, summoning the full strength of several Singularities and tossing them at her with all my strength. Her arms instinctively moved to block her body from the incoming extreme gravitational force, and as each Singularity detonated, her body was blasted with one thousand times more force than most stars could survive. Her body look near its limits as I slowly struggled to move towards my opponent, "You stubborn ass, I swear, if it weren't for me, you'd probably still be trying to figure out if Tommy Dalton liked yo..." I stopped my sentence knowing I'd gone too far. The one line our battles never crossed. Her face looked away from mine, a slight tinge of pain slid across her face as she was silent for a few moments, a small trickle of teardrops breaking from her skin and floating into space.
"Hey, listen, Jess, I'm so..."
"Shut up. Don't say it. You had nothing to do with it, we both couldn't stop it even if we wanted to," her voice barely holding back the sobs of a broken heart. It was crazy how even though we had both only known Tommy for less than a year how much of an impact he still had on us, in fact, the reason that the woman who could create stars with a simple snap of her fingers was still broken up about a young man she fell in love with in Highschool was a surprising notion to say the least. In fact, it was the one reason we had so many fights, simply because I told her that I was too busy to drive both of them to prom so he drove instead, and the drunk driver never stopped.
I slowly drifted towards Jess's floating form as she began to breakdown into tears, her body's bright white glow dimming to almost nothing as I gently placed my arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry. I should've been there."
"Yeah, but you weren't! So stop saying you're sorry," she barely managed her words through heavy sobs as I rubbed at her upper arm just above where my Javelin had cut her. I knew I was wrong and should apologize, in fact, Tommy always made me apologize, but still I found it harder than ever to say sorry to her and go back to being friends. Even now, as I held her while she cried, we were at little more than a tenuous truce, and soon we'd be back to trying to destroy one another.
| "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
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[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
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[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was a normal Tuesday as I sat on the cosmos watching her hurl gigantic planet after gigantic planet at me. Of course, she didn't actually hurl anything at all, it was Friday morning, and I was playing a charming human game called chess with Bill. As the evening light filtered in through the window, I could smell the aroma of the food from the bedroom. I frowned and sighed as the bare ground began to shake and vines erupted from it, attempting to swallow me whole.
"Stop avoiding me." She was behind me with crossed arms as I sat on the skyscraper, whistling to my own tune.
"Kind of hard to avoid Mother Nature." I tossed a rock from the cliff and frowned as it came right back in the form of a neutron star.
I flicked the neutron star away easily.
"Stop doing that," she growled.
"Hey, it's in my *nature*." I smirked as she rolled her eyes. "As soon as you stop hurling the cosmos at me I will stop bending time."
"No," said the little girl. | "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
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[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "And these are the Archmages," Dalostaed said, gesturing to the far end of the room.
There were five thrones, four of which were occupied by eerily detailed stone statues. The thrones themselves were barely more than rock sculpted to look vaguely chair-like. The focus wasn't on the apparatus of rule, but the rulers themselves.
"They founded the wizards?" I guessed.
"Those that sit there now? No. That one did," Dalostaed gestured to the empty throne.
I made the obvious conclusion. "You don't know who founded your order," I said. "So it's a symbolic throne."
Dalostaed laughed. "As is the case with any explanation involving wizards, your guess is entirely reasonable and, naturally, just as wrong."
"You brought me here for a reason," I pointed out. "So if you could drop the mysterious wizard non-explanations and tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it."
"Would you settle for a lengthy but not quite as mysterious wizard explanation?" Dalostaed grinned. He was enjoying this.
"Sure," I said. What choice did I have, really? Dalostaed would get to the point eventually, but I knew how much he enjoyed living up to his reputation.
"How's your Mind magic?" He asked me.
It seemed off-topic, but the beginnings of our conversations often did. "So-so," I said. "I've been practicing. As you apparently already know I've got one hell of a mentor. And I've tried to keep up with the other four elements, but," I shrugged, and gestured to the massive hall around me, "I tend to get pulled away by strange wizards for strange purposes they haven't yet explained."
Dalostaed eyed me skeptically. "Five total elements, hm? You can't fool me, Bishop. I know a Void-touched when I see one. Any wizard does."
I shuddered. The less time spent contemplating that, the better. "I'm sticking to what I know," I said, more defensively than I'd intended. "My point is, I've probably had more practice with Mind than an ordinary person, but it's not likely to be up to wizard standards."
"You'd be surprised," the wizard said, "most people know just the basics. Hearing surface thoughts is the extent of what they'll master."
I hadn't been able to rely on reading people's thoughts for years now; anyone I had reason to interact with tended to have protections in place. I certainly did.
"My point is," Dalostaed said, "have you ever turned your Mind magic inward?"
"A few times," I said. "To block out pain, enhance senses, that sort of thing."
"But always temporarily," he said. "You've never been tempted to make a permanent change?"
"Like what?" I asked. There were few permanent changes I could manage. Making myself believe a false memory was true was within my grasp, as was making myself forget a true memory, though only barely and only if I took a fair amount of time. Neither one was something I needed at the moment.
"Well, why not make yourself smarter?" Dalostaed asked.
"You're assuming I know how," I replied.
"That's the beauty of it," Dalostaed said, "you don't have to do a very good job. All you have to do is make yourself the tiniest bit better. And then, the next time you try to improve yourself, you'll do a slightly better job. And then the time after that, you'll do an even better job. Do you see?"
I did. Provided I could pull off the first step, it seemed that there was no limit to how smart I could eventually become. The thought seemed strange, alien, and almost repulsive to me. If I tried it, would I recognize the person I once was?
"I wouldn't recommend it," Dalostaed said. He probably wasn't reading my mind, but rather guessing what I was thinking. "It's a lot harder than I'm making it sound. Those steps take wizards their entire lifetimes to master. You screw up at any point, and you end up brain-dead. You'll breathe, blink, anything automatic, but your mind will be gone."
"So what would you do, once you'd become really really smart?" I asked. It was half a personal question to the wizard, and half rhetorical. I was starting to get an idea.
"Magic is called by the Mind," Dalostaed said. "Animals cannot invoke it in any but the most rudimentary way. Salamanders breathing fire, for example."
That meant the smarter I made myself, the stronger my Mind magic would become. The stronger the magic became, the smarter I could make myself. It seemed like a runaway effect, and the end result... "That's what they did," I said, gesturing to the statues of the Archmages.
"That is what divides a wizard like myself from an archmage. Many of us make it a goal to ascend one of the stone thrones, and many more of us have more sense than that."
That threw me. "You mean have a statue of yourself put on the throne, right?"
Dalostaed laughed. "Ah, of course, you can't see it. Probably for the best, really, if you're not careful it can burn you pretty bad. So, whatever you do, don't open your Mind's eye right now, especially toward the statues."
As tempting as it was to do exactly that now that I'd been told not to, I knew that Dalostaed didn't give idle warnings. "Why?" I asked instead.
"I did not mis-speak when we entered this room," he said. "Those are not statues of the Archmages. Those *are* the Archmages."
I looked again at the statues. They were extremely detailed, to be sure, but they were definitely stone. Their chests did not move, they did not blink, and they were as still as the statues they appeared to be. "How?" I asked.
"Earth magic, of course," Dalostaed said, as though this should be obvious. "Secondary only to the ground itself, it is associated with the body. If I recall from your tellings, you already knew that."
I suppressed another shudder. I'd had a few unfortunate run-ins with a Witchdoctor, the offspring of a Pure Mind and a Pure Earth. He'd made a habit of paralyzing me, and though we'd eventually found common cause, we hadn't exactly parted on good terms.
"The magic," Dalostaed continued talking, "protects and preserves the Archmages' bodies, while they do battle on some higher plane of existence that we of lesser intellect can't even understand."
"They're fighting each other?" I asked. Such contests of skill weren't beyond imagining. The Dynasty, where I was supposed to be heading and had in fact taken a large detour from, had a dueling tradition that dated back to its founding.
"No," Dalostaed said. "Something else. Something up there that doesn't want things to change. If I had to guess, probably one or more gods."
"Gods." I said flatly. Of course. Why else would you increase your power far beyond the dreams of regular people like myself, if not to challenge the gods?
We both stood in silence for a bit. Finally, I had to ask the question that had been bothering me ever since we left the caravan. "Why did you bring me here, Dalostaed? Why are you telling me things that are obviously secrets of your order?" I didn't think he was trying to recruit me, but it'd never been easy to determine his exact plans.
"Two reasons," Dalostaed said. "I said that any wizard will recognize you as Void-touched. Few know the secret of the six elements, the missing tenth god. Fewer still outside of our order. Which means that any other wizard you find - a proper wizard, that is, not a Pure - will think you're already in our order. You'll need that advantage."
I didn't like the sound of that, but I'd probably like what he had to say next even less. "And the second reason?" I asked.
Dalostaed pointed to the empty fifth throne. "Archmage Zhao."
"Wait," I said, "that's not a palceholder for whoever's trying to step up to Archmage next?"
Dalostaed grunted. "Anyone who can't carve themselves a throne from the wall has no business being on one. No, until a week ago, that throne was occupied. And then, the next morning, with nobody having seen the cause, it was not."
I kept looking at the empty throne. If Dalostaed was right, Archmage Zhao's power could be literally unimaginable at this point. Capable of challenging a god and surviving, if apparently not succeeding. "Where did Zhao go?" I asked.
Dalostaed's gaze looked at the same vacant seat mine did. "When you return to your journey north, to the heart of The Dynasty, I suspect you will find out." | "You suck."
AN:"No, you suck."
"Good God, how long have we been doing this?"
AN: *pulls out calculator* " Carry the 0. About 100,000 years."
"The hell were we fighting about? You wanna get a beer?"
AN:"....yes."
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Everything you do is mirrored by the other, so that's leaves you with one choice... Settle it; with a duel! You both whip out a phone and open Clash Royale and do a friendly battle. Four minutes later, something pops up on the screen. "Draw." You both walk away in disappointment. | The world lay in ruins around us. An entire planet our stage and no one left to watch the final performance… I think. I also thought the last battle would be our final performance and we both made it through relatively unscathed. But I guarantee this one will be different! It took me a nanosecond to harvest the suns energy and release a nova-burst to her chest. She laughed at me as the Earth’s crust ejected from our system behind her. She grabbed the moon and smashed it over my head, the blow felt like a scalp massage and a glint in her eye told me she knew I’d like it. I flung her body onto the exposed lava with no resistance from her at all. She laid there, prone, available... begging me with her eyes to join her. I never noticed before, but she was beautiful. The red glow of molten rock only accentuated her soft features. Was this always part of her plan, to seduce me? As my legs carried me forward I could not remember what in the world we were fighting about in the first place. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | It was always something, some days it just felt better for both of us to admit we were wrong and go our own way, but we were always stubborn. This fight was no different, her eyes blazing with a passionate fire that burned from within, their gaze set on my own rage-filled gaze. It had started with the occasional prank, then a few yelling matches, then somewhere along the way we found minions to go to war for us, and before we knew it I was standing in the center of a ring of collapsing stars holding a steadily charging singularity while she was summoning forth a radiation storm from deep within her nuclear fueled body.
We glared, her eyes narrowing to slits as she scowled and shouted across the cosmos, "Say you're sorry and I'll forgive you.
The words only angered me, enraged me even, "You want me to apologize?! When you know exactly what you did?! I'll make sure the Universe forgets about you!"
With a gentle movement of my hand, the fully charged Singularity shot towards her glowing form, it's infinitesimally small glow rocketing faster than the eye could perceive straight in her direction. Then, just centimeters from her the singularity activated, pulling the cosmos in on itself, a few of the outlying stars and black holes pulling in towards the absence of space. Her hands began to glow with the power of a billion Neutron Bombs and with a single finger she shot a single ray of atomic energy at my chest, her 'Hadron Ray' as she called it to my utter loathing. The full blast struck my shield, our rage building until finally, the true fight began.
Her body shot towards mine, glowing fists ready for a strike as I pulled my sword from the very aether and readied myself. Shield up, fist exploding against the ancient metallic surface as a small nuclear explosion ignited just beneath her knuckles. My sword swung low at her knees, trying to unbalance her despite of our arena being little more than a patch of darkness on the far side of the Universe. The dark matter that made up my blade barely nicked my nemesises jeans, her eyes glowing even hotter as she pulled her legs up to dodge my attack, only to be met with a hard push of my shield. With a growl of furius rage her hand went through my shield as per her usual tactic of rearranging molecules, but before she could wrap her impossibly strong grip around my throat, I quickly summoned a small dark energy blast around my shield to send her back to hell.
As the blast pushed her back and almost into one of the black holes, she growled in frustration as she shouted, "Damn it, you know we'll never beat each other, Steve!"
"Then apologize and we'll call the matter closed!"
Her fist shot another full blast of atomic energy that burned away a large chunk of my shield and singed my cheek. My retaliation was a large javelin of dark matter slicing her bicep as she deftly dodged my attack, "How the hell was I supposed to know that you don't like Coconut?! I was ten!!"
The rage in my voice shook as my words seemed to reverberate against the black holes around us, "Chocolate! How hard is it to just make a simple CHOCOLATE CAKE?!"
"Uggh, this is why you will never find a girlfriend! All you have to do is forgive me for the cake and say you're sorry for ruining my date with Sandra," she shouted in answer to my retort while I contemplated trying to hit her with another Javelin. The mere mention of Sandra sent my eyes rolling in disdain, "Oh don't you bring up Sandra into this, we both know that she was coo-coo for coacoa puffs crazy and you weren't going to call her back. Hell, only reason you're mad about that is because my operatives blew up the restaraunt you were in and ruined that salad you were eating! Saved you from making a terrible mistake. Should've ordered the burger like I suggested."
"For the smartest person in the Universe with nearly limitless power, you're a real idiot, you know that?!"
Her hands shot two massive blasts of atomic energy at me, smashing against my barely recovering shield and creating a small star that lived for all of three seconds before dying and exploding in a supernova that sent me flying towards one of the black holes. My body felt drained as I tried to balance myself, summoning the full strength of several Singularities and tossing them at her with all my strength. Her arms instinctively moved to block her body from the incoming extreme gravitational force, and as each Singularity detonated, her body was blasted with one thousand times more force than most stars could survive. Her body look near its limits as I slowly struggled to move towards my opponent, "You stubborn ass, I swear, if it weren't for me, you'd probably still be trying to figure out if Tommy Dalton liked yo..." I stopped my sentence knowing I'd gone too far. The one line our battles never crossed. Her face looked away from mine, a slight tinge of pain slid across her face as she was silent for a few moments, a small trickle of teardrops breaking from her skin and floating into space.
"Hey, listen, Jess, I'm so..."
"Shut up. Don't say it. You had nothing to do with it, we both couldn't stop it even if we wanted to," her voice barely holding back the sobs of a broken heart. It was crazy how even though we had both only known Tommy for less than a year how much of an impact he still had on us, in fact, the reason that the woman who could create stars with a simple snap of her fingers was still broken up about a young man she fell in love with in Highschool was a surprising notion to say the least. In fact, it was the one reason we had so many fights, simply because I told her that I was too busy to drive both of them to prom so he drove instead, and the drunk driver never stopped.
I slowly drifted towards Jess's floating form as she began to breakdown into tears, her body's bright white glow dimming to almost nothing as I gently placed my arm around her shoulder, "I'm sorry. I should've been there."
"Yeah, but you weren't! So stop saying you're sorry," she barely managed her words through heavy sobs as I rubbed at her upper arm just above where my Javelin had cut her. I knew I was wrong and should apologize, in fact, Tommy always made me apologize, but still I found it harder than ever to say sorry to her and go back to being friends. Even now, as I held her while she cried, we were at little more than a tenuous truce, and soon we'd be back to trying to destroy one another.
| The world lay in ruins around us. An entire planet our stage and no one left to watch the final performance… I think. I also thought the last battle would be our final performance and we both made it through relatively unscathed. But I guarantee this one will be different! It took me a nanosecond to harvest the suns energy and release a nova-burst to her chest. She laughed at me as the Earth’s crust ejected from our system behind her. She grabbed the moon and smashed it over my head, the blow felt like a scalp massage and a glint in her eye told me she knew I’d like it. I flung her body onto the exposed lava with no resistance from her at all. She laid there, prone, available... begging me with her eyes to join her. I never noticed before, but she was beautiful. The red glow of molten rock only accentuated her soft features. Was this always part of her plan, to seduce me? As my legs carried me forward I could not remember what in the world we were fighting about in the first place. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| The world lay in ruins around us. An entire planet our stage and no one left to watch the final performance… I think. I also thought the last battle would be our final performance and we both made it through relatively unscathed. But I guarantee this one will be different! It took me a nanosecond to harvest the suns energy and release a nova-burst to her chest. She laughed at me as the Earth’s crust ejected from our system behind her. She grabbed the moon and smashed it over my head, the blow felt like a scalp massage and a glint in her eye told me she knew I’d like it. I flung her body onto the exposed lava with no resistance from her at all. She laid there, prone, available... begging me with her eyes to join her. I never noticed before, but she was beautiful. The red glow of molten rock only accentuated her soft features. Was this always part of her plan, to seduce me? As my legs carried me forward I could not remember what in the world we were fighting about in the first place. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| The world lay in ruins around us. An entire planet our stage and no one left to watch the final performance… I think. I also thought the last battle would be our final performance and we both made it through relatively unscathed. But I guarantee this one will be different! It took me a nanosecond to harvest the suns energy and release a nova-burst to her chest. She laughed at me as the Earth’s crust ejected from our system behind her. She grabbed the moon and smashed it over my head, the blow felt like a scalp massage and a glint in her eye told me she knew I’d like it. I flung her body onto the exposed lava with no resistance from her at all. She laid there, prone, available... begging me with her eyes to join her. I never noticed before, but she was beautiful. The red glow of molten rock only accentuated her soft features. Was this always part of her plan, to seduce me? As my legs carried me forward I could not remember what in the world we were fighting about in the first place. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "And these are the Archmages," Dalostaed said, gesturing to the far end of the room.
There were five thrones, four of which were occupied by eerily detailed stone statues. The thrones themselves were barely more than rock sculpted to look vaguely chair-like. The focus wasn't on the apparatus of rule, but the rulers themselves.
"They founded the wizards?" I guessed.
"Those that sit there now? No. That one did," Dalostaed gestured to the empty throne.
I made the obvious conclusion. "You don't know who founded your order," I said. "So it's a symbolic throne."
Dalostaed laughed. "As is the case with any explanation involving wizards, your guess is entirely reasonable and, naturally, just as wrong."
"You brought me here for a reason," I pointed out. "So if you could drop the mysterious wizard non-explanations and tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it."
"Would you settle for a lengthy but not quite as mysterious wizard explanation?" Dalostaed grinned. He was enjoying this.
"Sure," I said. What choice did I have, really? Dalostaed would get to the point eventually, but I knew how much he enjoyed living up to his reputation.
"How's your Mind magic?" He asked me.
It seemed off-topic, but the beginnings of our conversations often did. "So-so," I said. "I've been practicing. As you apparently already know I've got one hell of a mentor. And I've tried to keep up with the other four elements, but," I shrugged, and gestured to the massive hall around me, "I tend to get pulled away by strange wizards for strange purposes they haven't yet explained."
Dalostaed eyed me skeptically. "Five total elements, hm? You can't fool me, Bishop. I know a Void-touched when I see one. Any wizard does."
I shuddered. The less time spent contemplating that, the better. "I'm sticking to what I know," I said, more defensively than I'd intended. "My point is, I've probably had more practice with Mind than an ordinary person, but it's not likely to be up to wizard standards."
"You'd be surprised," the wizard said, "most people know just the basics. Hearing surface thoughts is the extent of what they'll master."
I hadn't been able to rely on reading people's thoughts for years now; anyone I had reason to interact with tended to have protections in place. I certainly did.
"My point is," Dalostaed said, "have you ever turned your Mind magic inward?"
"A few times," I said. "To block out pain, enhance senses, that sort of thing."
"But always temporarily," he said. "You've never been tempted to make a permanent change?"
"Like what?" I asked. There were few permanent changes I could manage. Making myself believe a false memory was true was within my grasp, as was making myself forget a true memory, though only barely and only if I took a fair amount of time. Neither one was something I needed at the moment.
"Well, why not make yourself smarter?" Dalostaed asked.
"You're assuming I know how," I replied.
"That's the beauty of it," Dalostaed said, "you don't have to do a very good job. All you have to do is make yourself the tiniest bit better. And then, the next time you try to improve yourself, you'll do a slightly better job. And then the time after that, you'll do an even better job. Do you see?"
I did. Provided I could pull off the first step, it seemed that there was no limit to how smart I could eventually become. The thought seemed strange, alien, and almost repulsive to me. If I tried it, would I recognize the person I once was?
"I wouldn't recommend it," Dalostaed said. He probably wasn't reading my mind, but rather guessing what I was thinking. "It's a lot harder than I'm making it sound. Those steps take wizards their entire lifetimes to master. You screw up at any point, and you end up brain-dead. You'll breathe, blink, anything automatic, but your mind will be gone."
"So what would you do, once you'd become really really smart?" I asked. It was half a personal question to the wizard, and half rhetorical. I was starting to get an idea.
"Magic is called by the Mind," Dalostaed said. "Animals cannot invoke it in any but the most rudimentary way. Salamanders breathing fire, for example."
That meant the smarter I made myself, the stronger my Mind magic would become. The stronger the magic became, the smarter I could make myself. It seemed like a runaway effect, and the end result... "That's what they did," I said, gesturing to the statues of the Archmages.
"That is what divides a wizard like myself from an archmage. Many of us make it a goal to ascend one of the stone thrones, and many more of us have more sense than that."
That threw me. "You mean have a statue of yourself put on the throne, right?"
Dalostaed laughed. "Ah, of course, you can't see it. Probably for the best, really, if you're not careful it can burn you pretty bad. So, whatever you do, don't open your Mind's eye right now, especially toward the statues."
As tempting as it was to do exactly that now that I'd been told not to, I knew that Dalostaed didn't give idle warnings. "Why?" I asked instead.
"I did not mis-speak when we entered this room," he said. "Those are not statues of the Archmages. Those *are* the Archmages."
I looked again at the statues. They were extremely detailed, to be sure, but they were definitely stone. Their chests did not move, they did not blink, and they were as still as the statues they appeared to be. "How?" I asked.
"Earth magic, of course," Dalostaed said, as though this should be obvious. "Secondary only to the ground itself, it is associated with the body. If I recall from your tellings, you already knew that."
I suppressed another shudder. I'd had a few unfortunate run-ins with a Witchdoctor, the offspring of a Pure Mind and a Pure Earth. He'd made a habit of paralyzing me, and though we'd eventually found common cause, we hadn't exactly parted on good terms.
"The magic," Dalostaed continued talking, "protects and preserves the Archmages' bodies, while they do battle on some higher plane of existence that we of lesser intellect can't even understand."
"They're fighting each other?" I asked. Such contests of skill weren't beyond imagining. The Dynasty, where I was supposed to be heading and had in fact taken a large detour from, had a dueling tradition that dated back to its founding.
"No," Dalostaed said. "Something else. Something up there that doesn't want things to change. If I had to guess, probably one or more gods."
"Gods." I said flatly. Of course. Why else would you increase your power far beyond the dreams of regular people like myself, if not to challenge the gods?
We both stood in silence for a bit. Finally, I had to ask the question that had been bothering me ever since we left the caravan. "Why did you bring me here, Dalostaed? Why are you telling me things that are obviously secrets of your order?" I didn't think he was trying to recruit me, but it'd never been easy to determine his exact plans.
"Two reasons," Dalostaed said. "I said that any wizard will recognize you as Void-touched. Few know the secret of the six elements, the missing tenth god. Fewer still outside of our order. Which means that any other wizard you find - a proper wizard, that is, not a Pure - will think you're already in our order. You'll need that advantage."
I didn't like the sound of that, but I'd probably like what he had to say next even less. "And the second reason?" I asked.
Dalostaed pointed to the empty fifth throne. "Archmage Zhao."
"Wait," I said, "that's not a palceholder for whoever's trying to step up to Archmage next?"
Dalostaed grunted. "Anyone who can't carve themselves a throne from the wall has no business being on one. No, until a week ago, that throne was occupied. And then, the next morning, with nobody having seen the cause, it was not."
I kept looking at the empty throne. If Dalostaed was right, Archmage Zhao's power could be literally unimaginable at this point. Capable of challenging a god and surviving, if apparently not succeeding. "Where did Zhao go?" I asked.
Dalostaed's gaze looked at the same vacant seat mine did. "When you return to your journey north, to the heart of The Dynasty, I suspect you will find out." | The world lay in ruins around us. An entire planet our stage and no one left to watch the final performance… I think. I also thought the last battle would be our final performance and we both made it through relatively unscathed. But I guarantee this one will be different! It took me a nanosecond to harvest the suns energy and release a nova-burst to her chest. She laughed at me as the Earth’s crust ejected from our system behind her. She grabbed the moon and smashed it over my head, the blow felt like a scalp massage and a glint in her eye told me she knew I’d like it. I flung her body onto the exposed lava with no resistance from her at all. She laid there, prone, available... begging me with her eyes to join her. I never noticed before, but she was beautiful. The red glow of molten rock only accentuated her soft features. Was this always part of her plan, to seduce me? As my legs carried me forward I could not remember what in the world we were fighting about in the first place. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| I stood there breathing heavily as sweat beaded down my face, looking at her hoping that she felt the same way. This was the fifth hour of our fight and it seemed like neither of us was gaining any kind of edge on each other. Every time I thought that I had an advantage on her, every time she seemed to be a split second too late, she somehow was able to pull away and counter perfectly. I stared at her in wonder, debating what to do next. I had used all my best techniques and spells that I possessed and she still stood there seeming in the same state I was in.
I had never met anyone like her before; no one had ever lasted more than a minute against me let alone 5 hours. I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Was this happiness I was feeling? Am I having fun with this? Indeed when I had first discovered my vast powers I did like to toy with my enemies but even that grew boring over the years. I actually had to think about what I was doing here where as before the most effort I would put into any fight was a passing thought.
I’d decimated armies of thousands with the mere thought and brought dragons down to bended knee before me. Yet here stood one small woman who so far had defeated every attack I through at her and had anticipated every trick I tried to employ against her.
“Who are you?” I croaked. I had been so lost in my spell casting that I did not realize up until that point how shot my voice had become. With a single thought a cup of water appeared in my hand and I drained it in one.
“Me?” she said incredulously. “Surely you recognize your own work?” sneering all the time she said this.
“Do not speak to me in riddles girl! This may have been a fun little duel for me but I wish to know the identity of my attacker but I banish her soul to the nether worlds.”
“I am the child you abandoned long ago, the daughter you never wanted!” she screamed tears welling up in her eyes.
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| I stood there breathing heavily as sweat beaded down my face, looking at her hoping that she felt the same way. This was the fifth hour of our fight and it seemed like neither of us was gaining any kind of edge on each other. Every time I thought that I had an advantage on her, every time she seemed to be a split second too late, she somehow was able to pull away and counter perfectly. I stared at her in wonder, debating what to do next. I had used all my best techniques and spells that I possessed and she still stood there seeming in the same state I was in.
I had never met anyone like her before; no one had ever lasted more than a minute against me let alone 5 hours. I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Was this happiness I was feeling? Am I having fun with this? Indeed when I had first discovered my vast powers I did like to toy with my enemies but even that grew boring over the years. I actually had to think about what I was doing here where as before the most effort I would put into any fight was a passing thought.
I’d decimated armies of thousands with the mere thought and brought dragons down to bended knee before me. Yet here stood one small woman who so far had defeated every attack I through at her and had anticipated every trick I tried to employ against her.
“Who are you?” I croaked. I had been so lost in my spell casting that I did not realize up until that point how shot my voice had become. With a single thought a cup of water appeared in my hand and I drained it in one.
“Me?” she said incredulously. “Surely you recognize your own work?” sneering all the time she said this.
“Do not speak to me in riddles girl! This may have been a fun little duel for me but I wish to know the identity of my attacker but I banish her soul to the nether worlds.”
“I am the child you abandoned long ago, the daughter you never wanted!” she screamed tears welling up in her eyes.
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | "And these are the Archmages," Dalostaed said, gesturing to the far end of the room.
There were five thrones, four of which were occupied by eerily detailed stone statues. The thrones themselves were barely more than rock sculpted to look vaguely chair-like. The focus wasn't on the apparatus of rule, but the rulers themselves.
"They founded the wizards?" I guessed.
"Those that sit there now? No. That one did," Dalostaed gestured to the empty throne.
I made the obvious conclusion. "You don't know who founded your order," I said. "So it's a symbolic throne."
Dalostaed laughed. "As is the case with any explanation involving wizards, your guess is entirely reasonable and, naturally, just as wrong."
"You brought me here for a reason," I pointed out. "So if you could drop the mysterious wizard non-explanations and tell me what's going on, I'd appreciate it."
"Would you settle for a lengthy but not quite as mysterious wizard explanation?" Dalostaed grinned. He was enjoying this.
"Sure," I said. What choice did I have, really? Dalostaed would get to the point eventually, but I knew how much he enjoyed living up to his reputation.
"How's your Mind magic?" He asked me.
It seemed off-topic, but the beginnings of our conversations often did. "So-so," I said. "I've been practicing. As you apparently already know I've got one hell of a mentor. And I've tried to keep up with the other four elements, but," I shrugged, and gestured to the massive hall around me, "I tend to get pulled away by strange wizards for strange purposes they haven't yet explained."
Dalostaed eyed me skeptically. "Five total elements, hm? You can't fool me, Bishop. I know a Void-touched when I see one. Any wizard does."
I shuddered. The less time spent contemplating that, the better. "I'm sticking to what I know," I said, more defensively than I'd intended. "My point is, I've probably had more practice with Mind than an ordinary person, but it's not likely to be up to wizard standards."
"You'd be surprised," the wizard said, "most people know just the basics. Hearing surface thoughts is the extent of what they'll master."
I hadn't been able to rely on reading people's thoughts for years now; anyone I had reason to interact with tended to have protections in place. I certainly did.
"My point is," Dalostaed said, "have you ever turned your Mind magic inward?"
"A few times," I said. "To block out pain, enhance senses, that sort of thing."
"But always temporarily," he said. "You've never been tempted to make a permanent change?"
"Like what?" I asked. There were few permanent changes I could manage. Making myself believe a false memory was true was within my grasp, as was making myself forget a true memory, though only barely and only if I took a fair amount of time. Neither one was something I needed at the moment.
"Well, why not make yourself smarter?" Dalostaed asked.
"You're assuming I know how," I replied.
"That's the beauty of it," Dalostaed said, "you don't have to do a very good job. All you have to do is make yourself the tiniest bit better. And then, the next time you try to improve yourself, you'll do a slightly better job. And then the time after that, you'll do an even better job. Do you see?"
I did. Provided I could pull off the first step, it seemed that there was no limit to how smart I could eventually become. The thought seemed strange, alien, and almost repulsive to me. If I tried it, would I recognize the person I once was?
"I wouldn't recommend it," Dalostaed said. He probably wasn't reading my mind, but rather guessing what I was thinking. "It's a lot harder than I'm making it sound. Those steps take wizards their entire lifetimes to master. You screw up at any point, and you end up brain-dead. You'll breathe, blink, anything automatic, but your mind will be gone."
"So what would you do, once you'd become really really smart?" I asked. It was half a personal question to the wizard, and half rhetorical. I was starting to get an idea.
"Magic is called by the Mind," Dalostaed said. "Animals cannot invoke it in any but the most rudimentary way. Salamanders breathing fire, for example."
That meant the smarter I made myself, the stronger my Mind magic would become. The stronger the magic became, the smarter I could make myself. It seemed like a runaway effect, and the end result... "That's what they did," I said, gesturing to the statues of the Archmages.
"That is what divides a wizard like myself from an archmage. Many of us make it a goal to ascend one of the stone thrones, and many more of us have more sense than that."
That threw me. "You mean have a statue of yourself put on the throne, right?"
Dalostaed laughed. "Ah, of course, you can't see it. Probably for the best, really, if you're not careful it can burn you pretty bad. So, whatever you do, don't open your Mind's eye right now, especially toward the statues."
As tempting as it was to do exactly that now that I'd been told not to, I knew that Dalostaed didn't give idle warnings. "Why?" I asked instead.
"I did not mis-speak when we entered this room," he said. "Those are not statues of the Archmages. Those *are* the Archmages."
I looked again at the statues. They were extremely detailed, to be sure, but they were definitely stone. Their chests did not move, they did not blink, and they were as still as the statues they appeared to be. "How?" I asked.
"Earth magic, of course," Dalostaed said, as though this should be obvious. "Secondary only to the ground itself, it is associated with the body. If I recall from your tellings, you already knew that."
I suppressed another shudder. I'd had a few unfortunate run-ins with a Witchdoctor, the offspring of a Pure Mind and a Pure Earth. He'd made a habit of paralyzing me, and though we'd eventually found common cause, we hadn't exactly parted on good terms.
"The magic," Dalostaed continued talking, "protects and preserves the Archmages' bodies, while they do battle on some higher plane of existence that we of lesser intellect can't even understand."
"They're fighting each other?" I asked. Such contests of skill weren't beyond imagining. The Dynasty, where I was supposed to be heading and had in fact taken a large detour from, had a dueling tradition that dated back to its founding.
"No," Dalostaed said. "Something else. Something up there that doesn't want things to change. If I had to guess, probably one or more gods."
"Gods." I said flatly. Of course. Why else would you increase your power far beyond the dreams of regular people like myself, if not to challenge the gods?
We both stood in silence for a bit. Finally, I had to ask the question that had been bothering me ever since we left the caravan. "Why did you bring me here, Dalostaed? Why are you telling me things that are obviously secrets of your order?" I didn't think he was trying to recruit me, but it'd never been easy to determine his exact plans.
"Two reasons," Dalostaed said. "I said that any wizard will recognize you as Void-touched. Few know the secret of the six elements, the missing tenth god. Fewer still outside of our order. Which means that any other wizard you find - a proper wizard, that is, not a Pure - will think you're already in our order. You'll need that advantage."
I didn't like the sound of that, but I'd probably like what he had to say next even less. "And the second reason?" I asked.
Dalostaed pointed to the empty fifth throne. "Archmage Zhao."
"Wait," I said, "that's not a palceholder for whoever's trying to step up to Archmage next?"
Dalostaed grunted. "Anyone who can't carve themselves a throne from the wall has no business being on one. No, until a week ago, that throne was occupied. And then, the next morning, with nobody having seen the cause, it was not."
I kept looking at the empty throne. If Dalostaed was right, Archmage Zhao's power could be literally unimaginable at this point. Capable of challenging a god and surviving, if apparently not succeeding. "Where did Zhao go?" I asked.
Dalostaed's gaze looked at the same vacant seat mine did. "When you return to your journey north, to the heart of The Dynasty, I suspect you will find out." | I stood there breathing heavily as sweat beaded down my face, looking at her hoping that she felt the same way. This was the fifth hour of our fight and it seemed like neither of us was gaining any kind of edge on each other. Every time I thought that I had an advantage on her, every time she seemed to be a split second too late, she somehow was able to pull away and counter perfectly. I stared at her in wonder, debating what to do next. I had used all my best techniques and spells that I possessed and she still stood there seeming in the same state I was in.
I had never met anyone like her before; no one had ever lasted more than a minute against me let alone 5 hours. I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Was this happiness I was feeling? Am I having fun with this? Indeed when I had first discovered my vast powers I did like to toy with my enemies but even that grew boring over the years. I actually had to think about what I was doing here where as before the most effort I would put into any fight was a passing thought.
I’d decimated armies of thousands with the mere thought and brought dragons down to bended knee before me. Yet here stood one small woman who so far had defeated every attack I through at her and had anticipated every trick I tried to employ against her.
“Who are you?” I croaked. I had been so lost in my spell casting that I did not realize up until that point how shot my voice had become. With a single thought a cup of water appeared in my hand and I drained it in one.
“Me?” she said incredulously. “Surely you recognize your own work?” sneering all the time she said this.
“Do not speak to me in riddles girl! This may have been a fun little duel for me but I wish to know the identity of my attacker but I banish her soul to the nether worlds.”
“I am the child you abandoned long ago, the daughter you never wanted!” she screamed tears welling up in her eyes.
| |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | Suddenly nothing happened. There wasn't nothing, I wasn't in a void. It's that I was nothing. The bastard retconned me out of existence.
Of course I can't be mad at them, that requires existence; technically speaking I wasn't even aware of it.
And yet next thing I know i exist again. Not that it was hard, I just had to bring myself back. (You see when you reach a certain point, even the fact that you do not, and never have existed cannot stop you from coming back) so there i was, staring at my enemy. I already knew how retconning their ass would play out, but what if I just made them powerless?
It proves useless. For a brief moment they start to suffer from the vacuum of space, but it doesn't take them long to realize, and they will their power back from nothing. I should have seen that coming. And I did. So did assface. We're both omnicient.
Suddenly I was in a box, surrounded by a barrier so powerful no one, not even someone as powerful I could ever get through.
I exited through and countered with an delta ray colored flame. (delta ray is just the next color after gamma) the jet of fire was so strong that it would kill anything it touches; no one, not even this douchebag could possibly survive
Of course they were unharmed, and proceeded to create a rock so heavy not even they could lift it. Then they lifted it and chucked it at me.
What a jackass
With us both equally more powerful than the other, we were locked in this endless battle for all eternity. Afterwards we both agree that this was really stupid because of our aleph-one power levels. It's just not fun.
In fact, the only thing the world has more of then our power is how much I hate this fucker.
fuck you.
| I and he, battled we,
but not did we, fore-see
For I and he, equally
strengthfully, dueling,
"Carnegie", the name of me,
befitted we, archnemeses.
As I and he, took all of we,
to the sea, for fighting we,
I went and flee'd, when he punched me...
And we made be, a tsunami.
A town or three, wiped out complete,
so I decreed, balls fiery,
to go at he, but he doused three.
The rest (three), came unto thee.
I'm so sorry, but R I P. | |
[WP] A duel with your arch-nemesis. You're both so immensely powerful it does not even make sense. | A crushing silence engulfs the landscape. The roar of the fiercest devices of war leave a once verdant field a scarred, scorched, and battered wasteland.
From the smoldering earth littered with twisted steel, hot brass, charred bodies, and blood rises smoke that turns midday into midnight. The sheer absence of life is offensive to the senses.
From the dense smoke, two titans emerge. They are not titans by stature, but by the circumstances they have survived. Both wear uniforms torn and shredded in the fury of battle. Both have their faces caked with dirt and soot. Both have sustained serious injuries, but refuse to show any weakness to each other. Both have blood on their hands.
They are similar in more than just these ways. Both are sworn enemies of each other, but have never met the other in their lives. Both are trained to kill every conceivable adversary on the battlefield in every possible way, but both refrain from combat for the first time in years of unending conflict they have endured. Time stands still as they look at their opponent, but only see a reflection of themselves.
For an instant, there is understanding between the titans. They can see that they are both insignificant cogs in opposing war machines. They can see that they were never meant to meet, only to kill one another or be killed. Each of these titans fights the same war on a different side. A war they had no choice to be in. A war they don't understand.
Both titans turn away from each other and walk back into the smoke. There's no point in fighting a battle you've already lost.
| I and he, battled we,
but not did we, fore-see
For I and he, equally
strengthfully, dueling,
"Carnegie", the name of me,
befitted we, archnemeses.
As I and he, took all of we,
to the sea, for fighting we,
I went and flee'd, when he punched me...
And we made be, a tsunami.
A town or three, wiped out complete,
so I decreed, balls fiery,
to go at he, but he doused three.
The rest (three), came unto thee.
I'm so sorry, but R I P. |
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