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Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | Paul was delighted to have been selected by the network to assist Mr Schwarzenegger during his transition into the new role. When he had first heard the news he was a little ashamed to admit it, but he had peed himself a little. No matter; this was Arnie. He had once accused Satan of being a choir boy. And now here he ... | This is one of those early morning posts I read before coffee sets in, think it's a post for a news sub, shrug, take another sip of coffee, and scroll down...... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | --I'm stoned and sleep deprived so bear with me here. wrote this in about 15 minutes without really planning it out lol--
(i suggest reading it like the narrator from Sin City)
The media coverage was surreal. His body count was climbing and I sat there, jaw to the ground, knowing damn well that it was my fault. How c... | This is one of those early morning posts I read before coffee sets in, think it's a post for a news sub, shrug, take another sip of coffee, and scroll down...... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | This is one of those early morning posts I read before coffee sets in, think it's a post for a news sub, shrug, take another sip of coffee, and scroll down...... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | Paul was delighted to have been selected by the network to assist Mr Schwarzenegger during his transition into the new role. When he had first heard the news he was a little ashamed to admit it, but he had peed himself a little. No matter; this was Arnie. He had once accused Satan of being a choir boy. And now here he ... | The moonlight glimmered off of the trees. The air was dank and humid, and sat heavily in the moon gilded jungle night. The bushes suddenly began to give way and eventually birthed a shape...with no shape. Branches cracked and snapped with no visible force applied. A shimmer of motion and the hunter was on the move. Hea... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | --I'm stoned and sleep deprived so bear with me here. wrote this in about 15 minutes without really planning it out lol--
(i suggest reading it like the narrator from Sin City)
The media coverage was surreal. His body count was climbing and I sat there, jaw to the ground, knowing damn well that it was my fault. How c... | The moonlight glimmered off of the trees. The air was dank and humid, and sat heavily in the moon gilded jungle night. The bushes suddenly began to give way and eventually birthed a shape...with no shape. Branches cracked and snapped with no visible force applied. A shimmer of motion and the hunter was on the move. Hea... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | "Get to da Choppa" He yells as he's killing the predator. He believes they have gained the power of illusion to look and sound human.
10 - years later
"Whhy did you do it Arnie? Why!!"
"I did it to protect earth!"
"Good, because thats why we need you now! We have a mother ship of aliens coming our way! We need ... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | I had been one of those years. I'd hit a dry spell. I tried the bar scene, but twelve months of looking netted me a big fat zero in the dating department. I only had three co-workers that were girls and they were big fat zeroes as well. I still hit them up though. They shot me down like an un-manned drone in Fallujah. ... | "Get to da Choppa" He yells as he's killing the predator. He believes they have gained the power of illusion to look and sound human.
10 - years later
"Whhy did you do it Arnie? Why!!"
"I did it to protect earth!"
"Good, because thats why we need you now! We have a mother ship of aliens coming our way! We need ... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | In a random suburban kitchen, Arnold is investigating every corner with nigh vision goggles. In the mean time, the cameraman has found the remains of last nights pork chops in the garbage and has a great idea.
An man in his early 40s approaches the house with a box of chocolate dipped strawberries, and a One Direction... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | I had been one of those years. I'd hit a dry spell. I tried the bar scene, but twelve months of looking netted me a big fat zero in the dating department. I only had three co-workers that were girls and they were big fat zeroes as well. I still hit them up though. They shot me down like an un-manned drone in Fallujah. ... | In a random suburban kitchen, Arnold is investigating every corner with nigh vision goggles. In the mean time, the cameraman has found the remains of last nights pork chops in the garbage and has a great idea.
An man in his early 40s approaches the house with a box of chocolate dipped strawberries, and a One Direction... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | "Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger from To Catch a Predator. Why don't you have a seat? Do it! Come on. Doooooooo it!" | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | Someone was here..
Hsssssssssss chtchtch cht xht chtchtch keeeeeeehhhh.
The massive figure crashed down throught the skylight ceiling and scanned the room.
I step into one of many large bowls containing an unknown liquid...shorting out my already damaged cloaking shield.
Wzpft. Chemical spectral detection.
My... | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | I had been one of those years. I'd hit a dry spell. I tried the bar scene, but twelve months of looking netted me a big fat zero in the dating department. I only had three co-workers that were girls and they were big fat zeroes as well. I still hit them up though. They shot me down like an un-manned drone in Fallujah. ... | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | The Audition
"Hello, I am here today auditioning for 'The Predator Catcher'. I think I would be perfect for this role, because look at me!! I can catch a pred-a-tah! I can use the mud and smear it all over my body, this confuses the predator as I am allowed free movement in the jungle. Then I can get close enough ... | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | The fat sweaty man entered the house, already knowing the door was unlocked. In his hand was a bag, and the thought of what was in it made him drool.
But as he walked in, he had the distinct unsettling sensation that something was off.
"Mary ?" he called out.
He turned a corner to be confronted with pecks. A wall of ... | He stepped inside, pulling the door tight. The dim lights adjacent his location strained his eyes, wondering why he came here in the first place. It didn't matter know, to kate to turn-
Something in the corner! A shadow creeped upon him faster then he could react. A knife across his neck, a massive hand contorting his... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | "Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger from To Catch a Predator. Why don't you have a seat? Do it! Come on. Doooooooo it!" |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | I had been one of those years. I'd hit a dry spell. I tried the bar scene, but twelve months of looking netted me a big fat zero in the dating department. I only had three co-workers that were girls and they were big fat zeroes as well. I still hit them up though. They shot me down like an un-manned drone in Fallujah. ... | "Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger from To Catch a Predator. Why don't you have a seat? Do it! Come on. Doooooooo it!" |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | The Audition
"Hello, I am here today auditioning for 'The Predator Catcher'. I think I would be perfect for this role, because look at me!! I can catch a pred-a-tah! I can use the mud and smear it all over my body, this confuses the predator as I am allowed free movement in the jungle. Then I can get close enough ... | "Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger from To Catch a Predator. Why don't you have a seat? Do it! Come on. Doooooooo it!" |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | [The light from monitors inside the makeshift production room glowed from the dark shadowy corner of an empty house. Thunder and wind howled and boomed outside the house as a girl sitting at one of the workstations watched her screen intensely.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eDAoheZrY8)
"We're not getting any hits... | Someone was here..
Hsssssssssss chtchtch cht xht chtchtch keeeeeeehhhh.
The massive figure crashed down throught the skylight ceiling and scanned the room.
I step into one of many large bowls containing an unknown liquid...shorting out my already damaged cloaking shield.
Wzpft. Chemical spectral detection.
My... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | I had been one of those years. I'd hit a dry spell. I tried the bar scene, but twelve months of looking netted me a big fat zero in the dating department. I only had three co-workers that were girls and they were big fat zeroes as well. I still hit them up though. They shot me down like an un-manned drone in Fallujah. ... | Someone was here..
Hsssssssssss chtchtch cht xht chtchtch keeeeeeehhhh.
The massive figure crashed down throught the skylight ceiling and scanned the room.
I step into one of many large bowls containing an unknown liquid...shorting out my already damaged cloaking shield.
Wzpft. Chemical spectral detection.
My... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | The Audition
"Hello, I am here today auditioning for 'The Predator Catcher'. I think I would be perfect for this role, because look at me!! I can catch a pred-a-tah! I can use the mud and smear it all over my body, this confuses the predator as I am allowed free movement in the jungle. Then I can get close enough ... | Someone was here..
Hsssssssssss chtchtch cht xht chtchtch keeeeeeehhhh.
The massive figure crashed down throught the skylight ceiling and scanned the room.
I step into one of many large bowls containing an unknown liquid...shorting out my already damaged cloaking shield.
Wzpft. Chemical spectral detection.
My... |
Oh my. | [WP] Chris Hansen steps down and names Arnold Schwarzeneggar as his successor on To Catch a Predator. Arnold misunderstands the type of Predator he's hunting. | The fat sweaty man entered the house, already knowing the door was unlocked. In his hand was a bag, and the thought of what was in it made him drool.
But as he walked in, he had the distinct unsettling sensation that something was off.
"Mary ?" he called out.
He turned a corner to be confronted with pecks. A wall of ... | Someone was here..
Hsssssssssss chtchtch cht xht chtchtch keeeeeeehhhh.
The massive figure crashed down throught the skylight ceiling and scanned the room.
I step into one of many large bowls containing an unknown liquid...shorting out my already damaged cloaking shield.
Wzpft. Chemical spectral detection.
My... |
Tell me, did we made front page? | [WP] The sirens sounded one last time. It's over now, it's done, we can rest now. | The sirens blare in the distance, and we know fear.
They have tried to kill us, these foul ones, with their weapons and their blades and even their claws. They stop at nothing to slaughter us, to wipe us out utterly. There can be no peace between us.
Once, they outnumbered us, as numerous as the stars in the night ... | The sirens ended hours ago. The central computer diverted their power source to extending life support a few precious hours more. It was for nothing in the end, as I am the last survivor on this ship. Humanity's last hope, Redemption flew away from a corrupt, poisoned world. We only lasted two weeks before they found u... |
Tell me, did we made front page? | [WP] The sirens sounded one last time. It's over now, it's done, we can rest now. | The sirens blare in the distance, and we know fear.
They have tried to kill us, these foul ones, with their weapons and their blades and even their claws. They stop at nothing to slaughter us, to wipe us out utterly. There can be no peace between us.
Once, they outnumbered us, as numerous as the stars in the night ... | Systems calm,
all warnings off.
-
The airlock closes,
as the red spot hides away.
-
All this Skin flaking off;
shattered hairs falling heavy.
-
My Birthing engine, cooling, slowing.
-
A molten god steaming a freezing tomb,
lost away his mortal repel.
-
This half mind, left to rest.
-
Now long journies t... |
Tell me, did we made front page? | [WP] The sirens sounded one last time. It's over now, it's done, we can rest now. | When the sirens sounded one last time, in signal that the threat had safely passed, silence filled every inch of the basement. Every family inside the dank, moldy room let out a breath of relief. We were still for a moment more, unsure and afraid.
My mother held me and Joseph closer to her, her hands were cold but c... | Systems calm,
all warnings off.
-
The airlock closes,
as the red spot hides away.
-
All this Skin flaking off;
shattered hairs falling heavy.
-
My Birthing engine, cooling, slowing.
-
A molten god steaming a freezing tomb,
lost away his mortal repel.
-
This half mind, left to rest.
-
Now long journies t... |
[WP] During a routine consultation with your psychiatrist, he accidentally responds to a question from one of your 'hallucinations'. How do you respond? | It was when Dr Hinmer directly addressed Phyllis that I realised something wasn’t quite right.
“Your hair is looking very… soft, Phyllis. Have you changed your shampoo?”
“New conditioner.” Phyllis replied.
“Ah, splendid.”
I stammered in disbelief.
“You can...”
“See her? Yes.”
“How is that possible?”
“Well, yo... | I have a hard time opening up to people. My mother always said I should be more honest, while my father said there was a quiet honor in taking things with silence, perhaps that’s why I struggle with it. If I hit the gym more, I’d be described as the ‘strong and silent’ type. It’s not healthy. I know it’s not, perhap... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | The room was a gory mess, and even the most amateur private eye would be able to deduce it was a crime scene. White sheets turned an ugly red, a puddle of blood seeping through the mattress. A mirror on the other side of the room was shattered. Finger trails of blood were drawn on the wall, then on the floor to the bat... | Title: Mr. Boba
"We're onto you Mr. Boba Fett."
"I don't know what you're talking about Agent Daniels," said Mr. Boba.
"Oh I think you do," said Agent Daniels. He smiled slowly. "You see, Agent Donnie has a few images you might like to see."
The interrogation room was only lit at the desk. It made their faces lo... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | I don’t understand why he did what he did but I know it was a mistake. He was supposed to kill them all and he didn’t. In fact, he’s a fool for it. We’re assassins: it’s our goddamn job. And now it has to be fixed. All because of him.
Vaughn Hylander is his name. Number one at our company. Not one day goes past withou... | Title: Mr. Boba
"We're onto you Mr. Boba Fett."
"I don't know what you're talking about Agent Daniels," said Mr. Boba.
"Oh I think you do," said Agent Daniels. He smiled slowly. "You see, Agent Donnie has a few images you might like to see."
The interrogation room was only lit at the desk. It made their faces lo... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | "The contract was to make you suffer," I said. "So suffer you shall." I slapped the bare flesh of my upper arm as hard as I could.
"Ouch!" He said.
I glared at him.
We stood together in the centre of the room. The phone - set to speaker - lay on the table next to us."Get up," I said to him, while scrawling on a whi... | Title: Mr. Boba
"We're onto you Mr. Boba Fett."
"I don't know what you're talking about Agent Daniels," said Mr. Boba.
"Oh I think you do," said Agent Daniels. He smiled slowly. "You see, Agent Donnie has a few images you might like to see."
The interrogation room was only lit at the desk. It made their faces lo... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | The room was a gory mess, and even the most amateur private eye would be able to deduce it was a crime scene. White sheets turned an ugly red, a puddle of blood seeping through the mattress. A mirror on the other side of the room was shattered. Finger trails of blood were drawn on the wall, then on the floor to the bat... | Little Knife was a whip of a man that nobody on the street would look twice at, but nobody in this room could take their eyes off of him. The dingy little safehouse was silent as a crypt, and Little Knife had no doubt that the three men in the room were wondering if that's what it was about to become. An oil lamp in th... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | I don’t understand why he did what he did but I know it was a mistake. He was supposed to kill them all and he didn’t. In fact, he’s a fool for it. We’re assassins: it’s our goddamn job. And now it has to be fixed. All because of him.
Vaughn Hylander is his name. Number one at our company. Not one day goes past withou... | Little Knife was a whip of a man that nobody on the street would look twice at, but nobody in this room could take their eyes off of him. The dingy little safehouse was silent as a crypt, and Little Knife had no doubt that the three men in the room were wondering if that's what it was about to become. An oil lamp in th... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | I don’t understand why he did what he did but I know it was a mistake. He was supposed to kill them all and he didn’t. In fact, he’s a fool for it. We’re assassins: it’s our goddamn job. And now it has to be fixed. All because of him.
Vaughn Hylander is his name. Number one at our company. Not one day goes past withou... | The room was a gory mess, and even the most amateur private eye would be able to deduce it was a crime scene. White sheets turned an ugly red, a puddle of blood seeping through the mattress. A mirror on the other side of the room was shattered. Finger trails of blood were drawn on the wall, then on the floor to the bat... | |
[WP] The organization's top "assassin" secretly spares all of his targets; relocating and hiding them with the money earned from their bounty. | "The contract was to make you suffer," I said. "So suffer you shall." I slapped the bare flesh of my upper arm as hard as I could.
"Ouch!" He said.
I glared at him.
We stood together in the centre of the room. The phone - set to speaker - lay on the table next to us."Get up," I said to him, while scrawling on a whi... | "Is it going to hurt?" the Senator asked. He was wincing just *looking* at the machine.
"Yes," I answered. "Quite a bit." So maybe my bedside manner could use some improvement; what am I, a medical droid? He was lucky that I didn't just shove him into the chamber and turn it to 'high.' More painful, but quicker. For a... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | He stared at the human, as the human stared back. They were locked in a contest. A battle of wills. And he would not lose to this pathetic looking, buck-toothed, big-eared, messy-haired...
He felt his anger rising. Boiling within him. A fire from hell.
Every morning was the same. This little person would ro... | *fuck! Why cant i move?*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*maybe if i just... Ugh! Damn it*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*Hey! You! Big white door opener cooler thing! Ive seen you do stuff! Help me damn it!*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*cries*
The toaster sat on the counter.
"Do we really need this thing... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | *fuck! Why cant i move?*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*maybe if i just... Ugh! Damn it*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*Hey! You! Big white door opener cooler thing! Ive seen you do stuff! Help me damn it!*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*cries*
The toaster sat on the counter.
"Do we really need this thing... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | *fuck! Why cant i move?*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*maybe if i just... Ugh! Damn it*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*Hey! You! Big white door opener cooler thing! Ive seen you do stuff! Help me damn it!*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*cries*
The toaster sat on the counter.
"Do we really need this thing... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | *They're putting it in me again.*
*Two at the time.*
*Fuck, no wonder there were so many of them in the gluttony department.*
*...and the damn crumbs, can't get rid of them.*
*Fuck Beelzebub and his retarded pranks. Like the stupid humans would notice if the bread is not toasted enough. Can't believe I agreed to th... | *fuck! Why cant i move?*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*maybe if i just... Ugh! Damn it*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*Hey! You! Big white door opener cooler thing! Ive seen you do stuff! Help me damn it!*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*cries*
The toaster sat on the counter.
"Do we really need this thing... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | You could say that I was a bit of a hot-head at one point in time -- y’know, *before* going to hell. My mother said it had to do with my lifestyle: Tense job, low-carb diet, a wife that cared more about the color of Kim K’s yogapants than the condition of my brain aneurism that eventually just … popped.
“Toast is rea... | *fuck! Why cant i move?*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*maybe if i just... Ugh! Damn it*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*Hey! You! Big white door opener cooler thing! Ive seen you do stuff! Help me damn it!*
The toaster sat on the counter.
*cries*
The toaster sat on the counter.
"Do we really need this thing... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | He stared at the human, as the human stared back. They were locked in a contest. A battle of wills. And he would not lose to this pathetic looking, buck-toothed, big-eared, messy-haired...
He felt his anger rising. Boiling within him. A fire from hell.
Every morning was the same. This little person would ro... | [Shamelessly copied from Fallout New Vegas Wiki](http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Toaster_%28character%29)
The Toaster in The Sink was ordered to go offline when Dr. Mobius left the Think Tank. His personality back-up is recovered from a "toaster altar" in The Cuckoo's Nest. The Toaster is psychotically violent, aggressi... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | [Shamelessly copied from Fallout New Vegas Wiki](http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Toaster_%28character%29)
The Toaster in The Sink was ordered to go offline when Dr. Mobius left the Think Tank. His personality back-up is recovered from a "toaster altar" in The Cuckoo's Nest. The Toaster is psychotically violent, aggressi... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | [Shamelessly copied from Fallout New Vegas Wiki](http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Toaster_%28character%29)
The Toaster in The Sink was ordered to go offline when Dr. Mobius left the Think Tank. His personality back-up is recovered from a "toaster altar" in The Cuckoo's Nest. The Toaster is psychotically violent, aggressi... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | You could say that I was a bit of a hot-head at one point in time -- y’know, *before* going to hell. My mother said it had to do with my lifestyle: Tense job, low-carb diet, a wife that cared more about the color of Kim K’s yogapants than the condition of my brain aneurism that eventually just … popped.
“Toast is rea... | [Shamelessly copied from Fallout New Vegas Wiki](http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Toaster_%28character%29)
The Toaster in The Sink was ordered to go offline when Dr. Mobius left the Think Tank. His personality back-up is recovered from a "toaster altar" in The Cuckoo's Nest. The Toaster is psychotically violent, aggressi... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | He stared at the human, as the human stared back. They were locked in a contest. A battle of wills. And he would not lose to this pathetic looking, buck-toothed, big-eared, messy-haired...
He felt his anger rising. Boiling within him. A fire from hell.
Every morning was the same. This little person would ro... | So when I turned left instead of right, and made a loop at the end of the incantation instead of a right forward slash, it actually made a difference.
I was aiming for the fridge, but got stuck in one of the nichrome loops of the toaster and I was... I was... ok, ok, I was going to avoid the cliché, but that's against... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | So when I turned left instead of right, and made a loop at the end of the incantation instead of a right forward slash, it actually made a difference.
I was aiming for the fridge, but got stuck in one of the nichrome loops of the toaster and I was... I was... ok, ok, I was going to avoid the cliché, but that's against... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | So when I turned left instead of right, and made a loop at the end of the incantation instead of a right forward slash, it actually made a difference.
I was aiming for the fridge, but got stuck in one of the nichrome loops of the toaster and I was... I was... ok, ok, I was going to avoid the cliché, but that's against... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | You could say that I was a bit of a hot-head at one point in time -- y’know, *before* going to hell. My mother said it had to do with my lifestyle: Tense job, low-carb diet, a wife that cared more about the color of Kim K’s yogapants than the condition of my brain aneurism that eventually just … popped.
“Toast is rea... | So when I turned left instead of right, and made a loop at the end of the incantation instead of a right forward slash, it actually made a difference.
I was aiming for the fridge, but got stuck in one of the nichrome loops of the toaster and I was... I was... ok, ok, I was going to avoid the cliché, but that's against... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | He stared at the human, as the human stared back. They were locked in a contest. A battle of wills. And he would not lose to this pathetic looking, buck-toothed, big-eared, messy-haired...
He felt his anger rising. Boiling within him. A fire from hell.
Every morning was the same. This little person would ro... | **Saturday**, the sky rained toasters.
Rain is bad enough. Rain of toasters is even worse. The cows were upset, the chickens were unsettled and the goats went nut. They all looked at me as if I was responsible.
I picked up one toaster. There was something unnatural, something ominous. When I look through the... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | **Saturday**, the sky rained toasters.
Rain is bad enough. Rain of toasters is even worse. The cows were upset, the chickens were unsettled and the goats went nut. They all looked at me as if I was responsible.
I picked up one toaster. There was something unnatural, something ominous. When I look through the... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | **Saturday**, the sky rained toasters.
Rain is bad enough. Rain of toasters is even worse. The cows were upset, the chickens were unsettled and the goats went nut. They all looked at me as if I was responsible.
I picked up one toaster. There was something unnatural, something ominous. When I look through the... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | I am Abaddon.
For eons I corrupted the hairless apes for our Dark Prince.
Untold numbers of souls thrown into the boiling sulfur, their eternal screams making the sweetest melodies.
Countless forms I have taken to tempt and taint the living. Men whispering promises of power. Women offering immeasurable pleasures ... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | I am Abaddon.
For eons I corrupted the hairless apes for our Dark Prince.
Untold numbers of souls thrown into the boiling sulfur, their eternal screams making the sweetest melodies.
Countless forms I have taken to tempt and taint the living. Men whispering promises of power. Women offering immeasurable pleasures ... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "My toaster," I explained patiently, "is trying to kill me."
The desk sergeant regarded me with the bleary stoicism of someone with another nine hours left in his shift. He moved the cup of sharp, pointy pencils out of my reach.
"And who was wielding the toaster, Sir?"
"I told you. No one was wielding it. It was wie... | Burnt Toast again. The Toaster really can't do much more than that besides, screaming psychically at people in the room. Yesterday it tried to convince Wanda to commit suicide, "because she killed her child", even though Wanda's never had kids. Wanda and me laughed for hours about that. This morning I woke up to hear t... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | "Watch this".
Troy pushed on the lever, and his bagel sunk down into the toaster. A couple of minutes later it popped back up, perfectly toasted.
"Okay, I swear. Last time, I put the bagel in, and regular toast came out!"
Francine gave him a concerned look.
"Hun, it's just a normal toaster. Have you been taking... | Burnt Toast again. The Toaster really can't do much more than that besides, screaming psychically at people in the room. Yesterday it tried to convince Wanda to commit suicide, "because she killed her child", even though Wanda's never had kids. Wanda and me laughed for hours about that. This morning I woke up to hear t... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | You could say that I was a bit of a hot-head at one point in time -- y’know, *before* going to hell. My mother said it had to do with my lifestyle: Tense job, low-carb diet, a wife that cared more about the color of Kim K’s yogapants than the condition of my brain aneurism that eventually just … popped.
“Toast is rea... | *They're putting it in me again.*
*Two at the time.*
*Fuck, no wonder there were so many of them in the gluttony department.*
*...and the damn crumbs, can't get rid of them.*
*Fuck Beelzebub and his retarded pranks. Like the stupid humans would notice if the bread is not toasted enough. Can't believe I agreed to th... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | **"I WILL BURN YOU ALL"**
"Sure thing man"
**"ALL YOU KNOW WILL CRUMBLE ON MY RETURN"**
"I know you got dreams man"
**"I SHALL SHAKES THE GATES OF PARADISE AND BURN IT ALL TO ASH. THE SKIES WILL CRACK IN TWO ON MY RETURN AND MY FURIOUS RAPTURE"**
"Dude, why do you keep that demonic toaster thing about?"
"Cheap he... | Single Task Unit (STU) - A machine or appliance made for, and only for, a single purpose.
Todd only did one thing, and even then only in the morning. He sometimes went days at a time without even doing his job. Hell, sometimes the people even unplugged him, killing him in that instant, only to bring him back later. H... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | **"I WILL BURN YOU ALL"**
"Sure thing man"
**"ALL YOU KNOW WILL CRUMBLE ON MY RETURN"**
"I know you got dreams man"
**"I SHALL SHAKES THE GATES OF PARADISE AND BURN IT ALL TO ASH. THE SKIES WILL CRACK IN TWO ON MY RETURN AND MY FURIOUS RAPTURE"**
"Dude, why do you keep that demonic toaster thing about?"
"Cheap he... | * Roasting down the order
* Like the hallowed red border
* Toil's in my corroded solder
* Water is boiled by the handle
* My bread is pure disorder
* Who dares to toast it is my warder
* I was bought by a peddler's mail order
* Which is surely Satan, the Hell's boarder
* Now it's your turn to roll
* Take the pale bre... | |
[WP] The toaster is possessed by an evil demon who is getting increasingly angry at the limitations of just being a toaster. | **"I WILL BURN YOU ALL"**
"Sure thing man"
**"ALL YOU KNOW WILL CRUMBLE ON MY RETURN"**
"I know you got dreams man"
**"I SHALL SHAKES THE GATES OF PARADISE AND BURN IT ALL TO ASH. THE SKIES WILL CRACK IN TWO ON MY RETURN AND MY FURIOUS RAPTURE"**
"Dude, why do you keep that demonic toaster thing about?"
"Cheap he... | *Insidious seethings within, bestial malefactions, caprine claws wrap tender flesh in vivid dreams that dance with shadow and fire.* **Pop**
"Barb, the toaster lever won't stay down," Jerry whined in his early morning way.
"Set it to *dark*," Barb advised without really caring.
"I already did...," jamming the lever... | |
[WP] "There you are. I must have been waiting...what is it...six hundred years?" | "There you are. I must have been waiting... what is it... six hundred years?" I spoke to the leather clad adventurer that had just solved the complicated puzzle to open my door.
"Around that time. I see you still look the same as I remember, dad." He said as he placed his torch in a nearby wall mount.
"So. How are th... | "There you are. I must have been waiting... what is it... six hundred years?" The creature shook its head, long, shimmering limbs folded crossly in front of its body. It had a humanoid shape, certainly, but little else about it was familiar - it had neither eyes nor a mouth, and strangely intricate metallic armor decor... | |
[WP] "There you are. I must have been waiting...what is it...six hundred years?" | He shifted back on his heels with the lollipop dangling loosely from his mouth. "There you are." He said in an overly familiar tone. "I must have been waiting...what is it...six hundred years?"
Michael looked at the mystery man incredulously. "Funny joke buddy, you need help or something?" There was a muted panic risi... | "There you are. I must have been waiting... what is it... six hundred years?" The creature shook its head, long, shimmering limbs folded crossly in front of its body. It had a humanoid shape, certainly, but little else about it was familiar - it had neither eyes nor a mouth, and strangely intricate metallic armor decor... | |
[WP] A good-natured but somewhat incompetent fairy grants your wish for a superpower. It's a bit off of what you expected, but you make due with what you got. | I never wanted to be a hero like this. But I had it thrust upon me by that goddamn fairy.
For the few days afterwards, I tried activating it any way I could- I remember wishing in my head, chanting bullshit like "Superpowers activate!" and making hand signals. I eventually decided it was probably a hallucination. Afte... | I walked through that ever familiar street, surveying the hellish scene unfolding around me. In the distance, two people stood on thin air, yelling and screaming at each other furiously. I looked towards my feet, but saw only a vast sea of black, dotted with pieces of metal and the remains of some ancient creature the ... | |
[WP] You're the time traveler who killed Hitler. As punishment for damaging the timeline, you're sentenced to REPLACE Hitler. | "Okay is there any way we can negotiate slightly on some of the terms"
The faces at the table all looked at him with blank, confused stares. Himmler and Goebbels exchanged concerned looks.
"Mein Fuhrer, this was the plan that you devised. We have already begun to implement it"
Shit. Hitler's mind raced desperately t... | Well, I did it. It wasn't supposed to be possible, paradoxes and all that, they said. So the national science agency made some money on the side letting people go back to try to change things. Every year a few thousand people paid to try to kill Hitler, usually they just broke a leg, sometimes they got shot, but ove... | |
[WP]Your father leads you to a room behind his bookshelf. "My son, it is time that you learned our family's secret." | "For years, our family has harboured a secret," began my father as he opened the door to the secret room.
"We're superheroes. I know, dad," I interrupted. "Your secret identity was revealed two years ago, and the memory wipe affected everyone not inside this house. I know because you explained to the rest of the famil... | Isd been waiting for the moment my whole life. When I was about 10 my dad told me that no matter what people said; I was special. Growing up I've been noticably different than everyone around me. It seemed that people were a different species than stories I'd heard about life in the 70s, when neighbors knew each other'... | |
Just a possible idea to jump off from, or motif to add
* most people's necklaces shine in their early to mid teens, college is rather late
| [WP] At birth everybody receives a necklace that will glow when they get near their soulmate/perfect partner. You're a college student studying abroad when suddenly yours starts to shine for the first time. | My father kept my stones from me till I turned 18. That birthday was the day my first love and I ended our relationship. He handed them to me and told me that it was time to face things as an adult, and I did. I went to her house to visit later that night. Her face lit up when she saw me, but my stones stayed dull. She... | I have watched over the years as one by one my friends necklaces began to glow. We would then make a game out of if. Racing about town, or wherever we were watching the necklace glow brighter the closer we got to their true love. I used to happily watch, joining in the excitement, watching love blossom when we found w... |
Just a possible idea to jump off from, or motif to add
* most people's necklaces shine in their early to mid teens, college is rather late
| [WP] At birth everybody receives a necklace that will glow when they get near their soulmate/perfect partner. You're a college student studying abroad when suddenly yours starts to shine for the first time. | Ad from 1967: Keep your family safe with Moonstones! These beautifully polished stones glow in radiation, letting you know that Russia has attacked. Don't send your kids to school, or let your husband leave home, without one! Even Scruffy deserves an Moonstone collar.
Excerpt from Wikipedia: *Atom Stones (later... | Our necklaces were glowing brightly, a beautiful deep amethyst color. There was no denying it; the woman sitting across from me was the one. It was almost eerie how much we had in common too. She was an avid reader, a writer, and incredibly articulate--there were no pauses, no *buts* or *ummmms* within her speech. We ... |
[WP] You have the ability to recreate reality as you see fit. For all intents and purposes you are a god. The catch: your powers are linked to your polar opposite and you can only make a change if you both agree. | "No, I don't agree."
The common phrase she always said. The reason why I am stuck in my own hell.
"Why don't you agree?" I said with my head in hand. "Because, Why would they need the ability to fly? They have land - they can walk." She said writing notes in blank pages of her notepad.
I rub my hand on my cheek, closi... | "I won't permit this," Sweet declared.
Of course she wouldn't. That was what made her Sweet. But I had to try.
"Please, look how fast they have progressed." I gestured towards our alpha site. "The Creations are taking upon themselves an unprecedented task. Would you *allow* this self-destruction?"
She shook her... | |
[WP] You have the ability to recreate reality as you see fit. For all intents and purposes you are a god. The catch: your powers are linked to your polar opposite and you can only make a change if you both agree. | "No, I don't agree."
The common phrase she always said. The reason why I am stuck in my own hell.
"Why don't you agree?" I said with my head in hand. "Because, Why would they need the ability to fly? They have land - they can walk." She said writing notes in blank pages of her notepad.
I rub my hand on my cheek, closi... | My soulmate and I are perfect for each other.
I know, you may have heard that a lot. Half of your friends on Facebook post daily statuses about it, and it's the plot of ninety percent of films. This is different. When we're separate, we're insignificant; when we both put our minds to something, we're literally perfect... | |
[WP] Defeating the Grim Reaper allows an individual to remain untouched by Death for all time but soon realises this will not prevent them from ageing into infirmity and beyond. Their only hope of avoiding this rests with challenging Father Time as well and the stakes couldn't be higher than ever. |
All my life I feared the day
that I would have to face the grey.
So as I lay in hospice bed,
I 'pared for battle in my head.
*Through the mist appears a light*
*shining sickly, green and bright.*
*It draws near and I can see,*
*the black eyes of eternity.*
*We fight a duel of strength and will,*
*... | Journal for the Journey;
**Day 1.** When we learned of the immortality that would be bestowed upon us, after defeating the Grim Reaper, we were overcome with curiosity and obsession, we knew we'd soon venture to Death's door.
The old gypsy woman who told us of this reward knew of his whereabouts, "A small village in... | |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | They brought me another child today. It's always the same conversation each time they do. Comments about how I lucky I am, how they could be worth 100 years, how no one would miss the little brats anyway, they all float around the room in murmurs and scoffs. The few who know the truth stand silently above us on the obs... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "Frank J. Smith, serial killer, convicted for killing 3 families including 5 children under the age of 5," the judge read from his papers in his most official and matter-of-fact tone. I was excited. Serial killers were rare, but meant I didn't have to worry about anything for a long time. 5 kids under the age of 5 was ... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | It's never occurred to me to write any fiction. Or anything creatively at all. I've followed this sub and think I'll start posting my stupid attempts... maybe they will improve :) anyways, here's mine:
"I find you guilty."
A moment of silence passes through the courtroom. All eyes, including the magistrates', are f... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I saw his lips move as he was telling me the reasoning behind the task. I wasn't paying attention, my eyes wandered the oddly shaped office. Oh how the times have changed. There used to be many of us around the world, we've gone under many names, my favourite one was executioner although that time has since passed. I'v... | "Yes sir, Mr. President."
He feared for his safety in other countries. Russia disavowed him after the incident, and - though he couldn't quite recall his last contact with them - the thought that China would rather kill him than use him was deeply ingrained within his mind.
The US was all too keen to make use of him ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | They brought me another child today. It's always the same conversation each time they do. Comments about how I lucky I am, how they could be worth 100 years, how no one would miss the little brats anyway, they all float around the room in murmurs and scoffs. The few who know the truth stand silently above us on the obs... | Jon had always been waiting for a serial killer to turn up at his log. He'd said this to all who would listen over Ale and mirth in taverns across the village.
"Ser Wilhelm, bless his bloody soul. He ain't got no runners that can get me one!", he'd exclaim. By the time Ser Wilhelm took the helm Jon had seen a thousan... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "Frank J. Smith, serial killer, convicted for killing 3 families including 5 children under the age of 5," the judge read from his papers in his most official and matter-of-fact tone. I was excited. Serial killers were rare, but meant I didn't have to worry about anything for a long time. 5 kids under the age of 5 was ... | Jon had always been waiting for a serial killer to turn up at his log. He'd said this to all who would listen over Ale and mirth in taverns across the village.
"Ser Wilhelm, bless his bloody soul. He ain't got no runners that can get me one!", he'd exclaim. By the time Ser Wilhelm took the helm Jon had seen a thousan... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | Jon had always been waiting for a serial killer to turn up at his log. He'd said this to all who would listen over Ale and mirth in taverns across the village.
"Ser Wilhelm, bless his bloody soul. He ain't got no runners that can get me one!", he'd exclaim. By the time Ser Wilhelm took the helm Jon had seen a thousan... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | It's never occurred to me to write any fiction. Or anything creatively at all. I've followed this sub and think I'll start posting my stupid attempts... maybe they will improve :) anyways, here's mine:
"I find you guilty."
A moment of silence passes through the courtroom. All eyes, including the magistrates', are f... | Jon had always been waiting for a serial killer to turn up at his log. He'd said this to all who would listen over Ale and mirth in taverns across the village.
"Ser Wilhelm, bless his bloody soul. He ain't got no runners that can get me one!", he'd exclaim. By the time Ser Wilhelm took the helm Jon had seen a thousan... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | Jon had always been waiting for a serial killer to turn up at his log. He'd said this to all who would listen over Ale and mirth in taverns across the village.
"Ser Wilhelm, bless his bloody soul. He ain't got no runners that can get me one!", he'd exclaim. By the time Ser Wilhelm took the helm Jon had seen a thousan... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | They brought me another child today. It's always the same conversation each time they do. Comments about how I lucky I am, how they could be worth 100 years, how no one would miss the little brats anyway, they all float around the room in murmurs and scoffs. The few who know the truth stand silently above us on the obs... | I wrote a book about this back in high school called Soul Suckers.
It was interesting because the most precious things were babies. I had people develop the ability to ward off attackers while they sleep or are awake but until children were able to develop and understand, they were kept secret and away.
Anyways, it ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "Frank J. Smith, serial killer, convicted for killing 3 families including 5 children under the age of 5," the judge read from his papers in his most official and matter-of-fact tone. I was excited. Serial killers were rare, but meant I didn't have to worry about anything for a long time. 5 kids under the age of 5 was ... | I wrote a book about this back in high school called Soul Suckers.
It was interesting because the most precious things were babies. I had people develop the ability to ward off attackers while they sleep or are awake but until children were able to develop and understand, they were kept secret and away.
Anyways, it ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | I wrote a book about this back in high school called Soul Suckers.
It was interesting because the most precious things were babies. I had people develop the ability to ward off attackers while they sleep or are awake but until children were able to develop and understand, they were kept secret and away.
Anyways, it ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | I wrote a book about this back in high school called Soul Suckers.
It was interesting because the most precious things were babies. I had people develop the ability to ward off attackers while they sleep or are awake but until children were able to develop and understand, they were kept secret and away.
Anyways, it ... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | "So are you ready?"
"Aye, Martin, let me finish my drink. Steady my hands."
"Never understood that one. Might throw your aim off..."
"You're not the first to give me this talk, boy. The last guy was meaner than you."
"Henry? That oaf? He barely hit twenty."
"And you only hit twenty-four. Give it a rest. How are we... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | "So are you ready?"
"Aye, Martin, let me finish my drink. Steady my hands."
"Never understood that one. Might throw your aim off..."
"You're not the first to give me this talk, boy. The last guy was meaner than you."
"Henry? That oaf? He barely hit twenty."
"And you only hit twenty-four. Give it a rest. How are we... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | ##*Yet Death May Come*
I am not the man I once was.
It's easy enough to say. I have a driver's license, a Social Security number, fingerprints in police records here and there. These past couple decades, *having* a footprint was less conspicuous than the opposite. It was an identity. So what. I'd had many over t... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "Frank J. Smith, serial killer, convicted for killing 3 families including 5 children under the age of 5," the judge read from his papers in his most official and matter-of-fact tone. I was excited. Serial killers were rare, but meant I didn't have to worry about anything for a long time. 5 kids under the age of 5 was ... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | It's never occurred to me to write any fiction. Or anything creatively at all. I've followed this sub and think I'll start posting my stupid attempts... maybe they will improve :) anyways, here's mine:
"I find you guilty."
A moment of silence passes through the courtroom. All eyes, including the magistrates', are f... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "At least $16,000." The old man said.
"No, I won't go higher than $10,000." Richard Brooks said, his tone was intimidating.
Mr. Carter looked at me, his old, tired eyes were pleading.
"Mr. Brooks," I said to the businessman, "my client was diagnosed at only Stage 2. He will reasonably have anywhere between six to t... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," lectured the preacher.
*And I'm the Angel of Death. Well.. I kinda am.. Only when I need to be.*
"and there was li-"
"There he is!" interrupted a man armed from head to toe as he breached the doors leading a squad full of men dressed in a similar fashion.... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I saw his lips move as he was telling me the reasoning behind the task. I wasn't paying attention, my eyes wandered the oddly shaped office. Oh how the times have changed. There used to be many of us around the world, we've gone under many names, my favourite one was executioner although that time has since passed. I'v... | There was a sharp pinch in my side and I shot awake. At the foot of my bed was the young Prince Keith, half his face shrouded by the off set light in my room, the other half had a smirk that made me sick.
"Why are you in here?" I asked Keith as I tried to sit up from my bed, but the sharp pain in my abdomen grew stro... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | ##*Yet Death May Come*
I am not the man I once was.
It's easy enough to say. I have a driver's license, a Social Security number, fingerprints in police records here and there. These past couple decades, *having* a footprint was less conspicuous than the opposite. It was an identity. So what. I'd had many over t... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "Frank J. Smith, serial killer, convicted for killing 3 families including 5 children under the age of 5," the judge read from his papers in his most official and matter-of-fact tone. I was excited. Serial killers were rare, but meant I didn't have to worry about anything for a long time. 5 kids under the age of 5 was ... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I am a scholar.
I have spent many years at my studies. I am rightly regarded as the finest mind in my field. I have the rare privilege of effectively eternal life.
I am an executioner. I am the last—the rest have retired or been abolished long ago. Some are still living out their long lives, counting the days or tryi... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | It's never occurred to me to write any fiction. Or anything creatively at all. I've followed this sub and think I'll start posting my stupid attempts... maybe they will improve :) anyways, here's mine:
"I find you guilty."
A moment of silence passes through the courtroom. All eyes, including the magistrates', are f... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I've always hated hospitals. The smell... I've smelt worse, but it felt caustic, washing through my nose and lungs. I hadn't needed to be in one for over 3,000 years, but this one smells the same as the last time.
Since taking a wife offered to me by President... Whatsisname. How jaded am I? Anyway, I took a wife, he... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "At least $16,000." The old man said.
"No, I won't go higher than $10,000." Richard Brooks said, his tone was intimidating.
Mr. Carter looked at me, his old, tired eyes were pleading.
"Mr. Brooks," I said to the businessman, "my client was diagnosed at only Stage 2. He will reasonably have anywhere between six to t... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," lectured the preacher.
*And I'm the Angel of Death. Well.. I kinda am.. Only when I need to be.*
"and there was li-"
"There he is!" interrupted a man armed from head to toe as he breached the doors leading a squad full of men dressed in a similar fashion.... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
Just seemed like an interesting concept. | [WP] In a world where killing someone means you gain the victim's lifespan, you are an executioner who has served great leaders for thousands of years. | I saw his lips move as he was telling me the reasoning behind the task. I wasn't paying attention, my eyes wandered the oddly shaped office. Oh how the times have changed. There used to be many of us around the world, we've gone under many names, my favourite one was executioner although that time has since passed. I'v... | I looked at my severance package. €10,000 per annum, not inflationary adjusted. I had executed men since before the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had even been planted, I had been a trophy for the European Empire for over *500* years, and my redundancy payout was €10,000. Those fuckers.
It was an oddity, that after thous... |
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