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Dataset card Data Studio Files
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Daffodils?
They're your favorite flower.
How did you get so many?
I called everywhere in five states and explained this was the only way I could get my wife to marry me.
You don't even know me.
I have the rest of my life to find out.
How can I convince you to stop?
Go out with me.
I was drying out.
I see. We need to get you one of those plant misters. We can spray you like a fern.
You can see my predicament. My wedding ring, the symbol of fidelity to my wife, soon to be the mother of my child, was now lost in the gut of an uncatchable fish.
Make him stop.
What, a father's not allowed to talk about his son?
I am a footnote in that story. I am the context for your great adventure. Which never happened! Incidentally! You were selling novelty products in Wichita the day I was born.
Jesus Christ.
Friend of yours? Did you help him out of a bind?
Come on, Will. Everyone likes that story.
No Dad, they don't. I do not like the story. Not anymore, not after a thousand times. I know all the punchlines, Dad. I can tell them as well as you can. For one night, one night in your entire life, the universe does not revolve around Edward Bloom. It revolves around me and my wife. How can you not understand that?
The one about the witch.
Your mom says I can't tell you that one anymore. You get nightmares.
I'm not scared.
You are in for a surprise.
Am I?
Having a kid changes everything. I mean, there's the diapers and the burping and the midnight feedings...
Did you do any of that?
No, but I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill its head with nonsense and still it turns out perfectly fine.
You think I'm up for it?
You learned from the best.
People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This isn't how I go.
Really.
Truly. I saw it in The Eye.
The Old Lady by the swamp.
She was a witch.
No, she was old and probably senile. Maybe schizophrenic.
I saw my death in that eye. And this is not how it happens.
So how does it happen?
Surprise ending. Wouldn't want to ruin it for you.
There was this panhandler who used to stop me every morning when I came out of this coffee shop near the office.
Okay.
And every day I gave him a quarter. Every day. Then I got sick and was out for a couple of weeks. And when I went back there, you know what he said?
What did he say?
You owe me threefifty.
Really.
True story.
When did you ever work in an office?
There's a lot you don't know about me.
You're right.
Dad, I'm hoping we can talk about some things while I'm here.
You mean, while I'm here.
I'd just like to know the true versions of things. Events. Stories. You.
Your mother hasn't been keeping up the pool. If you wanted to you could...
I will.
You know where the chemicals are?
I used to do it when you were gone, remember? I used to do it a lot.
I thought you weren't dying.
I said this isn't how I go. The last part is much more unusual. Trust me on that.
Why not religion, Dad?
It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're going to offend.
Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.
Oh, so you know.
Did I ever tell you about how...
Yes.
The maple tree and the Buick. We heard it.
I think someone hasn't.
But the real story is how I got the car. You see...
Dad?
Son?
Can we talk?
Do you know much about icebergs, Dad?
Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water, only they didn't count on an elephant being frozen inside. The woolly kind. A mammoth.
Dad!
What?
I'm trying to make a metaphor here.
Then you shouldn't have started with a question. Because people want to answer questions. You should have started with, "The thing about icebergs is..."
The thing about icebergs is you only see 10 percent of them. The other 90 percent is below the water where you can't see it. And that's what it is with you Dad. I'm only seeing this little bit that sticks above the water.
What, you're seeing down to my nose? My chin?
I have no idea who you are because you have never told me a single fact.
I've told you a thousand facts. That's all I do, Will. I tell stories.
You tell lies, Dad. You tell amusing lies. Stories are what you tell a fiveyear old at bedtime. They're not elaborate mythologies you maintain when your son is ten and fifteen and twenty and thirty. And the thing is, I believed you. I believed your stories so much longer than I should have. And then when I realized tha...
You think I'm fake.
Only on the surface. But that's all I've ever seen.
Dad, I'm about to have a kid of my own here. It would kill me if he went through his whole life never understanding me.
It would kill you, huh?
What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Yourself. Good, bad, everything. Just show me who you are for once.
I have been nothing but myself since the day I was born. And if you can't see that, it's your failing, not mine.
The river.
The river?
Tell me how it happens.
How what happens?
How I go.
I can try, Dad. If you help. Just tell me how it starts.
Like this.
Okay. Okay.
Let's get out of here.
Somehow, you're better. Different. You're getting ready to go. And I say...
Where are we headed?
You say...
The River!
It's unbelievable.