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What's wrong with him?
Must be the pressure.
Please, have a seat.
Sloan never told us she had friends like you.
In fact, we never knew she had any friends period.
Why they gotta make my nose so big?
Look at my lips.
I'm not drinking the KoolAid.
What are you talkin' about?
Jim Jones, y'know. I'm not drinking the KoolAid.
Meaning?
I'm out.
Good. I've got a broken back from carrying you all these years anyway.
So that's what you been doing?
Damn skippy.
You're in this up till ya neck.
Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano players.
You can walk away. We both can.
Yeah, that's easy for you to do. You never had any talent.
I'm so tired of you running that. I always worked hard for you. You think I'm a leech, a klingon, I quit.
Our first caller is Big Black from Brooklyn. Go 'head.
Microphone check, one, two. One, two. Yo Tavis, I be lovin' yo show but Mantan you is foul. Why you perpetrating? You a sellout.
And Big Black from Brooklyn, what do you do?
What do I do?
What do you do?
I'm a revolutionary.
And another thing, you better stay away from my sister or you better...
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no need to go there. We can all agree to disagree without making threats.
The MauMau's are up in dis place. That's right, the MauMau's.
What's your name?
My righteous name is BIG BLACK.
And what are the MauMau's going to do for us today?
We gonna drop some knowledge, wisdom and understanding. The Mau Mau's, we be scientists. We drop science.
We're ready when you are.
Microphone check. One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. Hold up. I gots to give my peeps some props. Brothers introduce yourself.
You idiot. You almost gave me a massive coronary.
I didn't mean to scare you like that.
Well you did.
Give me some?
I'm not huggin' you in the middle of the street. You must be crazy, Julius.
Whoa, hold up li'l sis'. I done told you 'bout that. Julius ain't my name, you better recognize Hopkins was our slave name. My true name is...
I'm not callin you Big Black Africa. Mommy and Daddy named you Julius.
BIG BLACK is the first name and AFRICA is the last.
Damn, Sis, you don't keep no food up in here in dis' piece.
I order out mostly. So what do I owe this visit to?
My group we need some exposure. Was wondering if you could hook a brother up?
Hook you up? The MauMau's? You must be smoking. Why in the world would I want to hook up a bunch of red, black and green flagwaving pseudo revolutionairies?
So now I see where you're coming from. Just because we ain't rapping about Gucci, Timberland, Rolex, Benz, Cristal, ho's and bitches, we're pseudo.
Who are you revolting against?
We're revolting against the powers that be, that been enslaving the minds and hearts of all people of color. And we won't stop rapping till we bring about the overthrow of the government of the U.S. of A.
Please.
If you were really down you would get us together with that boss of yours. What's his name again?
Delacroix.
Yeah, him.
What makes you think he would write a show about the MauMau's.
C'mon, why not? The Monkees had a show. Look at all that other junk that's on TV. We got underground cult following.
You don't have the demographics.
So are you telling me that you wouldn't even introduce me to Delacroix or set up a meeting? I'm talking 'bout me, your only brother, ya own flesh and blood, hook a brother up, youknowwhatI'msayin'.
That'swhatI'msayin'. I'm not blowin' my young career, brother or no brother, for you or anybody else.
There is a name, a term for your kind, the likes of you. Back in slavery days, you would be classified as a house nigga.
If you think I'm a house nigga then that's your prerogative. You got your ways to affect change, I have mine. And I would appreciate it very much if you took ya field nigga ass out of my house.
My own sister throwin' me out. I hope to seeya later when you get ya mind right. Don't bother letting me out.
That's mighty black of you.
Everybody say Ho!
Ho!
That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout! That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout! I want to be the first to welcome you to the second taping of Mantan The New Millennium Minstrel Show.
My name is Honeycutt and I want to try something different. Can you do this for me?
Yeah!
I'm gonna start a chant and I want y'all to follow me. Let's make our own 2 real coons know you're ready to start the show.
C'mon. It's easy. It's the same thing y'all do out at the Yankee game, no different 'cept we changing one word. Everybody go it?
YEAH!
Alright. Here we go. Let's go NIGGERS! LET'S GO NIGGERS!
Let's go NIGGERS.
Let's go niggers!
Louder. They can't hear you.
Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for this joint.
How 'bout...
BLAK OUT. BLAK LISTED. BLAK BALL. Need I say more.
BLAK it is.
Keep trying.
I'm on it.
...Benedict Arnold...
...that simpleton is holding back the race. They got rid of us and keep those two buffoons, Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?
Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin', y'knowwhatI'msayin'!
We know. We know. Yo, check it, my black brothers, we can't let this slide. Not this injustice. Nah, no way. Dem' two real coons iz ill.
1/16, tru' 'dat. True 'dat.
He gots to be did.
Did he gots to be.
You truly are a dancing fool.
Yo Black, you looking for trouble.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last confession. Father, my sin is a terrible sin. A sin of omission. There was another sin that happened at the same time, and in the same place, but my sin I think was graver stil.
Sister, we all know what happened to you yesterday morning. I expected that you would want to speak to me about it. But you could have come to my office. Your being here, in the confessional, implies that you, Sister, have done something wrong. You haven't. I assure you. I feared you might have misplaced feelings of gu...
Father, if it was so trivial, so natural, so No. I have sinned. And you must listen if you are to prescribe an appropriate act of contrition, and to absolve me. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your arms to serve God?
It's funny, you knew. But the first thing I think of is kneading the bread that I help bake for the soup kitchen. Maybe that's because my the muscles in my arms still hurt.
I also thought of that bread, Father. And of that night six days ago when the Mother Superior died, and I kept the cool, damp cloth on her forehead freshly moist. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your legs to serve God?
I think of running for help, and falling to my knees in prayer.
As I have prayed day and night since the desecration of this church yesterday morning and my sin. You see, Father
Yes, Sister?
Yesterday morning, God gave me but one chance to use something else to serve Him. Not my arms or my legs, but something I used for the first time, for the last time, and will never use again. My vagina.
Those boys, those sad, raging boys... They came to me as the needy do. And like many of the needy, they were rude. Like all the needy, they took. And like all the needy, they needed. Father. I knew them; They learn in our school. And play in our schoolyard. And they are good boys.