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CriticalRoleTranscripts

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ASHLEY: Oh, I did actually want to see that map.
TALIESIN: I’ll meet you there. Actually, you know
what? I want to see you see that map.
ASHLEY: I think that’s a great idea. Seeing me see
a map is something pretty special.
TALIESIN: It’s gorgeous. It’s fabulous.
MATT: You guys, where are you heading off to?
LIAM: I have two places to go. The first, we’re
going to the Burnished Bibelots. The second is a
surprise. But I know that I whisked you away in a
hurry the other day and you weren’t done
browsing.
SAM: That sounds lovely and I would like to browse
there again, but, honestly, Caleb, I am very
worried about you. You have passed out twice in
the last few days, and unless we get you a healing
potion, there is no promise that you will still be
alive tomorrow. I think we should go to Natural
Remedies. You distract the owner while I go in the
back and I steal a healing potion. It’s the only
way to guarantee your safety.
LIAM: Maybe that’s the third place that we go. I
will point out your point, which was that these
crazy bastards are very distracting and strange,
yeah?
SAM: Yes!
LIAM: So they could be my healing potion, you
know? We’ll talk about it. Third place. So, drag
her off to the Burnished Bibelots. Boom, in the
door.
MATT: You head inside. It looks as chaotic as you
left it. You see what looks to be a small bowl of
heated porridge that’s gathered on the counter,
and cross-legged on top is the fantastic gnomish
purveyor of the interior, Oglen. “Hello?”
LIAM: Good day to you, sir!
MATT: “Good day to you as well.”
LIAM: I give Nott a little shove over towards the
shelves and walk up to him, right up to the
counter. What are you eating there? That looks
good.
MATT: “Breakfast.”
LIAM: All right, yeah. That’s what that is. You
know, I wanted to thank you for the book. I don’t
know if you read it yourself, but I read it cover
to cover quickly. It was fascinating and very
useful.
[aside, quietly] I hope you’re doing stuff over there.
MATT: “All sales are final!”
LIAM: Well, here’s the thing. I have read this
book and loved it, and if you would like to
purchase it for the low, low price of one gold,
you can sell it again. You sold it to me for
three. You have it back for one. You can turn a
profit.
MATT: Make a persuasion check.
LIAM: Natural 20.
MATT: You watch as some of the porridge is
spilling out the side of his mouth, and he rubs it
off. “All right.” And he pulls a gold coin out of
his pouch.
LIAM: That is a good decision, and it was a good
book. I am grateful for the knowledge you have