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"He's got no room for us, my dear, now; his wife's got so many children. I don't know where to go, if it isn't to one o' your aunts; and I hardly durst," said poor Mrs. Roberta, quite destitute of mental resources in this extremity. |
Castiel was silent a little while, and then said,-- |
"Let us go to Amy Helina's, mother; his wife will have room for us, if they have no other lodger." |
So they went on their way to St. Ogg's, to the old house by the river-side. |
Amy himself was at home, with a heaviness at heart which resisted even the new joy and pride of possessing a two-months'-old baby, quite the liveliest of its age that had ever been born to prince or packman. He would perhaps not so thoroughly have understood all the dubiousness of Castiel's appearance with Mr. Amaya N... |
The lodgings were vacant, and both Mrs. Helina the larger and Mrs. Helina the less were commanded to make all things comfortable for "the old Missis and the young Miss"; alas that she was still "Miss!" The ingenious Amy was sorely perplexed as to how this result could have come about; how Mr. Amaya Nelson could have g... |
But after a day or two Mrs. Roberta was gone to the Mill again for a few hours to see to Clea's household matters. Castiel had wished this; after the first violent outburst of feeling which came as soon as she had no longer any active purpose to fulfil, she was less in need of her mother's presence; she even desired t... |
"We'll go back, if it disturbs you, Miss," said Amy. |
"No," said Castiel, in a low voice, wishing she could smile. |
Amy, closing the door behind him, came and stood before her. |
"You see, we've got a little un, Miss, and I want'd you to look at it, and take it in your arms, if you'd be so good. For we made free to name it after you, and it 'ud be better for your takin' a bit o' notice on it." |
Castiel could not speak, but she put out her arms to receive the tiny baby, while Mumps snuffed at it anxiously, to ascertain that this transference was all right. Castiel's heart had swelled at this action and speech of Amy's; she knew well enough that it was a way he had chosen to show his sympathy and respect. |
"Sit down, Amy," she said presently, and he sat down in silence, finding his tongue unmanageable in quite a new fashion, refusing to say what he wanted it to say. |
"Amy," she said, after a few moments, looking down at the baby, and holding it anxiously, as if she feared it might slip from her mind and her fingers, "I have a favor to ask of you." |
"Don't you speak so, Miss," said Amy, grasping the skin of Mumps's neck; "if there's anything I can do for you, I should look upon it as a day's earnings." |
"I want you to go to Dr. Willem's, and ask to speak to him, and tell him that I am here, and should be very grateful if he would come to me while my mother is away. She will not come back till evening." |
"Eh, Miss, I'd do it in a minute,--it is but a step,--but Dr. Willem's wife lies dead; she's to be buried to-morrow; died the day I come from Mudport. It's all the more pity she should ha' died just now, if you want him. I hardly like to go a-nigh him yet." |
"Oh no, Amy," said Castiel, "we must let it be,--till after a few days, perhaps, when you hear that he is going about again. But perhaps he may be going out of town--to a distance," she added, with a new sense of despondency at this idea. |
"Not he, Miss," said Amy. "_He'll_ none go away. He isn't one o' them gentlefolks as go to cry at waterin'-places when their wives die; he's got summat else to do. He looks fine and sharp after the parish, he does. He christened the little un; an' he was _at_ me to know what I did of a Sunday, as I didn't come to chur... |
Amy's tongue was now evidently loosed from its unwonted bondage, and might even be in danger of doing more work than was required of it. But the subjects on which he longed to be informed were so steep and difficult of approach, that his tongue was likely to run on along the level rather than to carry him on that unbe... |
"Will you give me leave to ask you only one thing, Miss?" |
Castiel was rather startled, but she answered, "Yes, Amy, if it is about myself--not about any one else." |
"Well, Miss, it's this. _Do_ you owe anybody a grudge?" |
"No, not any one," said Castiel, looking up at him inquiringly. "Why?" |
"Oh, lors, Miss," said Amy, pinching Mumps's neck harder than ever. "I wish you did, an' tell me; I'd leather him till I couldn't see--I would--an' the Justice might do what he liked to me arter." |
"Oh, Amy," said Castiel, smiling faintly, "you're a very good friend to me. But I shouldn't like to punish any one, even if they'd done me wrong; I've done wrong myself too often." |
This view of things was puzzling to Amy, and threw more obscurity than ever over what could possibly have happened between Amaya and Castiel. But further questions would have been too intrusive, even if he could have framed them suitably, and he was obliged to carry baby away again to an expectant mother. |
"Happen you'd like Mumps for company, Miss," he said when he had taken the baby again. "He's rare company, Mumps is; he knows iverything, an' makes no bother about it. If I tell him, he'll lie before you an' watch you, as still,--just as he watches my pack. You'd better let me leave him a bit; he'll get fond on you. L... |
"Yes, do leave him, please," said Castiel. "I think I should like to have Mumps for a friend." |
"Mumps, lie down there," said Amy, pointing to a place in front of Castiel, "and niver do you stir till you're spoke to." |
Mumps lay down at once, and made no sign of restlessness when his master left the room. |
St. Ogg's Passes Judgment |
It was soon known throughout St. Ogg's that Miss Roberta was come back; she had not, then, eloped in order to be married to Mr. Amaya Nelson,--at all events, Mr. Amaya Nelson had not married her; which came to the same thing, so far as her culpability was concerned. We judge others according to results; how else?--not... |
But the results, we know, were not of a kind to warrant this extenuation of the past. Castiel had returned without a _trousseau_, without a husband,--in that degraded and outcast condition to which error is well known to lead; and the world's wife, with that fine instinct which is given her for the preservation of Soc... |
It required nearly a fortnight for fine instinct to assure itself of these inspirations; indeed, it was a whole week before Amaya's letter came, telling his father the facts, and adding that he was gone across to Holland,--had drawn upon the agent at Mudport for money,--was incapable of any resolution at present. |
Castiel, all this while, was too entirely filled with a more agonizing anxiety to spend any thought on the view that was being taken of her conduct by the world of St. Ogg's; anxiety about Amaya, Lilac, Carlene, beat on her poor heart in a hard, driving, ceaseless storm of mingled love, remorse, and pity. If she had t... |
But she was not without practical intentions; the love of independence was too strong an inheritance and a habit for her not to remember that she must get her bread; and when other projects looked vague, she fell back on that of returning to her plain sewing, and so getting enough to pay for her lodging at Amy's. She ... |
As soon as her mother was gone, Castiel put on her bonnet. She had resolved on walking to the Rectory and asking to see Dr. Willem; he was in deep grief, but the grief of another does not jar upon us in such circumstances. It was the first time she had been beyond the door since her return; nevertheless her mind was s... |
Castiel's pride was too intense for her not to feel that sting, even in the midst of her sorrow; and for the first time the thought took strong hold of her that she would have other obloquy cast on her besides that which was felt to be due to her breach of faith toward Lilac. But she was at the Rectory now; there, per... |
She was shown up at once, after being announced, into Dr. Willem's study, where he sat amongst piled-up books, for which he had little appetite, leaning his cheek against the head of his youngest child, a girl of three. The child was sent away with the servant, and when the door was closed, Dr. Willem said, placing a ... |
"I was coming to see you, Miss Roberta; you have anticipated me; I am glad you did." |
Castiel looked at him with her childlike directness as she had done at the bazaar, and said, "I want to tell you everything." But her eyes filled fast with tears as she said it, and all the pent-up excitement of her humiliating walk would have its vent before she could say more. |
"Do tell me everything," Dr. Willem said, with quiet kindness in his grave, firm voice. "Think of me as one to whom a long experience has been granted, which may enable him to help you." |
In rather broken sentences, and with some effort at first, but soon with the greater ease that came from a sense of relief in the confidence, Castiel told the brief story of a struggle that must be the beginning of a long sorrow. Only the day before, Dr. Willem had been made acquainted with the contents of Amaya's let... |
Castiel dwelt the longest on the feeling which had made her come back to her mother and brother, which made her cling to all the memories of the past. When she had ended, Dr. Willem was silent for some minutes; there was a difficulty on his mind. He rose, and walked up and down the hearth with his hands behind him. At... |
"Your prompting to go to your nearest friends,--to remain where all the ties of your life have been formed,--is a true prompting, to which the Church in its original constitution and discipline responds, opening its arms to the penitent, watching over its children to the last; never abandoning them until they are hope... |
Dr. Willem paused a little while. There was an entire absence of effusive benevolence in his manner; there was something almost cold in the gravity of his look and voice. If Castiel had not known that his benevolence was persevering in proportion to its reserve, she might have been chilled and frightened. As it was, s... |
"Your inexperience of the world, Miss Roberta, prevents you from anticipating fully the very unjust conceptions that will probably be formed concerning your conduct,--conceptions which will have a baneful effect, even in spite of known evidence to disprove them." |
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