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train_3900
0pending
3196597f-654d-416f-90e1-7daf1574f49f
I'm glad I rented this movie for one reason: its shortcomings made me want to read Allende's book and get the full story. <br /><br />Pros: the movie is beautiful, the period is depicted well and consistently (to the best of my knowledge), and Meryl and Glenn do good jobs.<br /><br />Cons: This is the worst acting job ...
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train_3901
0pending
e14ac11b-5d0f-430d-a436-92f81d7c2465
I managed to sneak away one night and go to the movie theater to see this one, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I wrong. Considering the talent involved, this has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Everyone in it was miscast, and I find it incredible to read on this site that there are people out ther...
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train_3902
0pending
ee3f4a0a-83e4-4dcb-882e-10ead0e97684
Forget Plan 9, this is the ultimate fiasco, a costume drama, ineptly directed, scripted, acted, etc. This film is based on Isabel Allende's not-so-much-better novel. I hate Meryl Streep and Antonio Banderas (in non-Spanish films), and the other actors, including Winona, my favourite actress and Jeremy Irons try hard to...
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train_3903
0pending
4e6c6e2b-2fd3-4f68-9aad-e615dc93dd94
I confess--Emma, in my opinion, is the single greatest novel ever written. It is as close to perfection as any mortal creation can be. Jane Austen reaches the pinnacle of her art here.<br /><br />Unfortunately, this is at best a palimpsest.<br /><br />Comparison to the Gwyneth Paltrow version is inevitable--that versio...
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train_3904
0pending
6f3eaf16-72d1-4c55-be3f-bae54544bc81
Emma is my favourite Jane Austen novel - Emma is well-meaning despite her flaws, so readers can forgive and love her, and the relationship she has with Mr Knightley, which is warm, familiar, respectful but playful, generating that warm, fuzzy, romantic excitement. Mr Knightley is the perfect man, and Emma is as close a...
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train_3905
0pending
0096189c-5f71-40ba-a58d-a5793791d26c
This is indeed a god adaptation of Jane Austen's novel. Compared with the American Version with Guinneth Paltrow, the script was written to resemble as much as possible the book. But the acting was awful. Besides Kate Beckinsale, who I believe was a true likeness of the Emma in the book, all the other actors were tryin...
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train_3906
0pending
3b0af80c-dbaf-42fd-a936-dc411fc20da9
The script is nice.Though the casting is absolutely non-watchable.No style. the costumes do not look like some from the High Highbury society. Comparing Gwyneth Paltrow with Kate Beckinsale I can only say that Ms. Beckinsale speaks British English better than Ms. Paltrow, though in Ms. Paltrow's acting lies the very na...
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train_3907
0pending
f0b1705f-7850-4ff1-b950-171661fa0470
As someone who has read the book, I can say that this is vastly inferior to the big American version starring Gwyneth Paltrow. There are various reasons for this. Firstly, Emma is too unpleasant. Yes, she has faults, and isn't the easiest person to like - but the viewer shouldn't downright start to despise her. Secondl...
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train_3908
0pending
ded93699-cb64-4c60-b60a-ff57aa05b1d7
Where do I start? Per the title of this film I expected some degree of authenticity, in the end I was severally let down. This is not the story of Lale Andersen or the song Lili Marlene, rather it is a Hollywood (or pick your film making hub) story loosely based on some real life characters. I should have had a clue wh...
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train_3909
0pending
9f09983d-1742-423a-88eb-e39c8724672a
I am terribly sorry, I know that Faßbinder still is called one of the greatest directors in post-war Germany and that most of his films are considered "master-pieces", but when I see "Lili Marleen" today, in 2004, I wonder what everyone is up and away about this movie! The acting is simply terrible - Hanna Schygulla is...
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train_3910
0pending
6f485e52-2cf6-40a9-8944-8e069fe8b720
Labored comedy has I.R.S. agent Tony Randall investigating eccentric farm family in Maryland who have never paid their taxes; Debbie Reynolds is the tomboy farmer's daughter who puts the squeeze on the not-so-disinterested tax-man. Debbie certainly made her share of inferior theatrical sitcoms during this period--and t...
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train_3911
0pending
e1d2916f-bbbd-4107-821e-396ebb815c37
Well. Astronaut Steve West sits in a plastic space capsule, commenting that "you haven't lived until you've seen the sun through the rings of Saturn", all the while the obvious mid-day sunlight is streaming through the window, when suddenly he has a nose bleed. Next, West is back home in some secret hospital, a melting...
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train_3912
0pending
273cb4a5-1e58-4b24-a36a-1973b723e8a5
Once upon a time some evil people made a movie about a guy that got shot into space, supposedly to go to Saturn, but really only to some stock footage of solar flares, and then he gets a nose bleed, and before you know it, he's laying in a hospital bandaged head to foot, and then an overweight nurse with an ill-fitting...
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train_3913
0pending
b3c7ee17-2585-4ac8-b2fc-bc90b9bad464
The Incredible Melting Man plays like an extended episode of The Six Million Dollar Man, but with violence and some nudity. I know this film is a bit crummy but I found it impossible not to kind of like it.<br /><br />The acting and script are not the best. But the effects are good for a 30 year old movie with a budget...
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train_3914
0pending
0339e6a3-c0e2-4bb5-bf61-3e2d1712a03a
I was thinking that the main character, the astronaut with the bad case of the runs(in his case, his skin, hair, muscles, etc) could always get more movie work after he'd been reduced to a puddle. All he has to do is get a job as the Blob. The premise of this flick is pretty lame. An astronaut gets exposed to sunspot r...
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train_3915
0pending
0df7ce2f-ed12-4091-b024-badefc9bbe34
Want to watch a scary horror film? Then steer clear of this one. There's not enough beer in the world to make this film enjoyable.<br /><br />However, there is enough scotch. Single-malt, if you can manage it.<br /><br />If the previous comments weren't enough to keep you from watching this film sober, allow me to assi...
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train_3916
0pending
3a94a3c8-8f29-4ea6-bc84-c13e573e085a
I think that my favorite part of this movie, the one that exemplifies the sheer pointless, stupidity and inanity of the proceedings, comes at the climax of the film. DOCTOR TED NELSON and his unmarried friend the Sheriff have finally cornered the Melting Man on a landing on some stairs in an electrical generating plant...
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train_3917
0pending
024c0a99-940e-4579-bdbf-79d0ae72fdcf
A truly unpleasant film. While Rick Baker's special effects are quite impressive (if stomach-turning), it has no other redeeming features. Like many 70s movies, it leaves you feeling as if you need to take a long shower, and scrub the slime off of yourself. The characters are uniformly unpleasant, and plot makes no sen...
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train_3918
0pending
3083b42b-f99e-46ea-90fd-49338da9c4c3
I have always wanted to see this because I love cheesy horror movies and with a title like this, I was sure "The Incredible Melting Man" would be a lot of fun.<br /><br />It really wasn't. I mean, the acting was entertainingly bad, the script contained some classic bad lines and the special effects looked like someone ...
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train_3919
0pending
1fbe8dca-8857-4e4a-afc2-298175878c2b
I have begun to melt so I will make this review as short and sweet as possible.<br /><br />There's this astronaut, and he goes up in a spacecraft with two other guys, ya know? Except something happens that exposes him to radiation, and then when they come back...well, never mind what happened to the other guys, but our...
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train_3920
0pending
5f5d4c3a-c7b9-4781-aef6-b521f1bb3874
I managed to grab a viewing of this with the aid of MST3K, and oh boy, even with the riffing this movie was excruciatingly bad. Imagine someone whose competence with a camera could be out done by a monkey.<br /><br />The highlights (what little there were) came from the special effects, which were "OK". The acting for ...
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train_3921
0pending
86e30c36-7d4e-49d1-a651-4a79a27e2df3
Is this a stupid movie? You bet!! I could not find any moment in this film that was creepy or scary. Stupid moments? Plenty. Stupid characters? You bet. Bad effects? Everywhere! Rick Baker may have gone and done bigger and better things, this is not one of them. Oh well people gotta start somewhere. Dr. Ted Nelson is c...
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train_3922
0pending
fdd3217d-3391-4811-8326-bf6242a1224a
This movie wasn't just bad - it was terrible. After I watched it, I actually felt the need to TAKE A SHOWER to get the filth off of me. There is running 'gag' with an elderly couple making out, it is not funny, but it is disgusting. The monster make up was cool, but that is all. The continuity errors alone will have yo...
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train_3923
0pending
a36020eb-6db4-4e9c-9754-f2e47b4063b9
Many moons ago when I was seven years old, I can vaguely remember seeing a trailer for this movie. It appealed to my naive sense of curiosity and I decided to ask my parents to take me to this movie. Being the wise adults that they are, they told me "Absolutely not! It's a bunch of trash." Of course, I was very disappo...
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train_3924
0pending
fae4fc9d-a63b-4474-9e4c-1f81c11f6d09
No, just kidding. It was God-awful.<br /><br />I was watching my local Sci-fi station last night, which plays movies, every night, within a monthly theme. This month it's "Space Turkeys, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bombs". Movies so bad, they should never have been made. This was a good selection.<b...
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train_3925
0pending
733f5c52-c759-4f68-8ddb-5feb63fe6cff
Why do I constantly do this to myself? I mean, really, it's right there in the title - "The Incredible Melting Man". What else would I expect? I have to admit, I'm a sucker for just about anything I come across on the Monster HD channel, but the only redeeming feature of this picture would be that truly grotesque makeu...
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train_3926
0pending
9b2bafc8-388b-4d32-ab21-7bb4298677f2
A few days ago, I watched a documentary called THE FIFTY WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME and this is where I first heard of THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN. Being a lover of schlocky films, I am making it a point to try to find some of the films from the documentary--not just including THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN. In fact, MELTING ...
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train_3927
0pending
b62caa22-8e51-4092-bfc1-0d54c065b329
I can watch a good gory film now and then. I've seen some pretty sick stuff. However, this is one of the few films that I found to be grotesque in a way that was just plain repulsive and revolting. I like gore films when they are fun. I like wen they are a lot of creativity behind them. The gore in this film is not cre...
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train_3928
0pending
b10fbf0d-1a77-4057-ae3f-3ef5f340b115
Rebar is an astronaut who goes on the world's first space mission to Saturn, but of course this being a horror movie things turn ugly and he returns to earth as the only survivor. Stricken with some bizarre condition that causes him to slowly melt and lose his mind unless he regularly consumes human flesh, he kills wha...
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train_3929
0pending
bdf782d6-c7dd-46bf-9b17-6a354e17ea66
The plot of " Astronuat returns to Earth as a mutating monster " died out in the 1950s mainly down to the scientific fact that travelling outside the Earth's orbit doesn't humans cause to turn in to mutated monsters , and that the first film to use this plot THE QUATERMASS EXPERIMENT was the only decent sci-fi movie to...
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train_3930
0pending
df1a6a25-d8f9-4498-a444-eac0c7a2f680
I just watched The Incredible Melting Man for the second time, and it was even more boring than when I first watched it. I don't understand why it has become such a 'cult classic' when it is so tediously dull. The opening scene looks promising, when the fat nurse drops the canister of blood and runs for her dear life. ...
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train_3931
0pending
8211b898-cb49-4bd9-a360-1e7a1d52f12f
The movie had so much potential, but due to 70's technology constraints and also a weak script killed the main plot of the film. The book version of the film was much better, and well conceived. If it had been done right in the beginning with sources from the book, it could have been a very cool classic.
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train_3932
0pending
c0897d95-2430-4f1e-867d-036cfae6f25d
I've seen a lot of stupid plotlines in my time, but this one is among the worst. After catching some disease in space, an astronaut comes back to Earth and starts melting. He then goes on a rampage, killing people (how is beyond me; I just watch them, I can't explain them.) This is the kind of movie that shouldn't have...
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train_3933
0pending
0a173162-578a-4ab7-b04e-3c577a70dab4
This film was so predictable, that during the entire time you're hoping that the obvious suspect is innocent, and there's some other big twist still coming. However... it doesn't. He just continues to act creepy, and she continues to ignore it. Mary found very incriminating evidence at his place, and she still trusted ...
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train_3934
0pending
f6ea53fc-ef90-410b-8b59-1b0cc59d2d65
Alicia Silverstone (pre-"Clueless") plays a modern-day crime-obsessed teenager attempting to solve the brutal slaying of a local girl. Pat Verducci wrote and directed this B-flick, which isn't especially well-made but is however surprisingly serious-minded in regards to its leading character. Silverstone is appealing a...
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train_3935
0pending
112a80f8-62f2-4e94-9f50-9b370ecf142d
The movie never becomes intolerable to watch. And to tell it straight, it has nothing to show either, except maybe part-sexy Alicia Silverstone in a nerdy non-sexy character in revealing quite-sexy dresses. The story is very easy to follow or there's nothing to follow -- you can see in either way. There is no suspense,...
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train_3936
0pending
df460a48-ad88-4f31-ba13-21d86b68a101
I try to be very objective when I view a low budget movie. I also apply a lower weight to independent and low budget productions versus the big budget productions. I expect near flawlessness from big budget productions and their studios. Therefore I apply tougher criteria to the major studio releases. But this movie wa...
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train_3937
0pending
f31a7cb8-a56e-4f14-a0da-eab121a46363
Underneath the dense green glop of computer graphics there gleamed the astounding art and skill of Ichikawa Somegoro. Alas: it got lost in all the goo. The scenes of Old Edo -- with the courtesan, drifting on the Sumida, rehearsing and acting in the Nakamura-za -- were all exciting and engaging, taking you back to an i...
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train_3938
0pending
705dd882-e1c3-470e-bf4f-01d43f245860
This is the 2nd time I've seen this movie in about 12 years. These remarks come from someone who finds Kane and Ambersons to be amazing, worthy films. But the remainder of Welles career is, unfortunately, squandered on material unworthy of his talent and too flimsy to withstand his filmic embroidering. And when he make...
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train_3939
0pending
a2594e3e-cc55-4a6a-8aa9-fd3ce47e48d7
If you are studying Welles and want to see just how far he fell after Citizen Kane, this film will prove it. The cheap excuse of making the protagonist a self-admitted dummy to explain how he might fall into such a half-baked scheme fails to explain the absurd courtroom theatrics and ridiculous plot twists that eventua...
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train_3940
0pending
7685b13b-ae60-4d29-ad3f-045b7c6b8f1d
Oh-so-familiar comedy story about low-key nice-guy Paul (Jason Lee), who after the night of his bachelor party, wakes up in bed with Becky (Julia Stiles), an attractive blonde he met just the night before. After lying about it to his fiancée Karen (Selma Blair), he's forced to tell more and more lies to cover his track...
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train_3941
0pending
3c3c32a9-179d-4392-94ee-de11e329eaac
I thought this movie had absolutely no moral. I mean, how would you feel if your fiancé left you on your wedding day for your cousin??? I would be heartbroken!! It's classified as a comedy but I didn't find it funny at all. I thought it just mostly found cheap laughs and took them. I normally love Julie Stiles movies, ...
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train_3942
0pending
07240fad-51de-44c4-aff7-79bfccf099e2
This is so incredibly bad. Poor actors. You can tell they're trying really hard to polish a turd, but we all know you can't. The writing is so obvious and facile, it's sad watching them try to sell it. The humor and pacing are so labored, it's hard to believe any of these good actors signed on for this.<br /><br />That...
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train_3943
0pending
6c1bdea2-895a-4496-81be-f8ac8427aac8
Just a regular Jason lee movie, There were some parts of the movie that were funny. The undertone of the move is to live life on the edge I guess. These are the types of movies that I think 14 year old girls watch at slumber parties. It was an all right movie. It is kind of one of those movies you have on in the back g...
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train_3944
0pending
f8b71469-3f0c-4411-b818-0d3841a34e71
Wow. That's about as much as I can say right now. Who writes this stuff? Who produces this stuff? What self-respecting actor would agree to 'act' in this stuff? Oh my GOD! I don't know how I made it through this movie, but I assume the fact that I had had like 8 cups of coffee that day was the key element in keeping me...
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train_3945
0pending
fadc5b8a-b033-4031-8faa-a67f7aa500c9
I just watched it. A couple of laughs, but nothing to write home about. Jason Lee looked like he was having fun. The (long) DVD gag reel consists almost solely of him having fits of uncontrollable laughter. Selma Blair seemed to be punching a time clock, but then again, her character was supposed to be a stick in the m...
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train_3946
0pending
c18ed308-fb7e-4a73-a70d-23daf19d4470
I'm not a big fan of rom/coms at the best of times. A few have been quite good (check of Dream for an Insomniac), but this one is just more of the same but less.<br /><br />With a running time of 100min, I expect more than 1 laugh every 30mins. The only real belly laugh are when male strangers and friends instinctivly ...
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train_3947
0pending
a9bde3ea-af42-4c81-8852-ed47fc8d23c5
I'm not a big fan of rom/coms at the best of times. A few have been quite good (check of Dream for an Insomniac), but this one is just more of the same but less.<br /><br />With a running time of 100min, I expect more than 1 laugh every 30mins. The only real belly laugh are when male strangers and friends instinctively...
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train_3948
0pending
cd995cf3-f199-40c6-b14c-e399828ad180
Jason Lee does his best to bring fun to a silly situation, but the movie just fails to make a connect. <br /><br />Perhaps because Julia Stiles character seems awkward as the conniving and sexy soon to be cousin-in-law. <br /><br />Maybe it is because she and Selma Blair's characters should have been cast the opposite ...
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train_3949
0pending
20fe8208-5076-451a-82c7-905257c72d37
What a terrible, TERRIBLE, film! One of the worst movies I have seen in my life. I usually love movies like this, the whole "A guy meets an eccentric woman who he likes, but he happens to already be involved with someone, who not right for him....". I expected something predictable and I didn't mind. The movies are alw...
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train_3950
0pending
dd1eeccd-0616-4c7f-adde-d7eaf0fc1a9e
I had hoped this movie was going to be mildly entertaining, like other sorts of its genre. However, it was lame and I didn't find myself laughing very much. Watch it on HBO, maybe, or if you've got a free rental to waste and you need a movie to pass the time. But I don't recommend paying to see it.<br /><br />The plot ...
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train_3951
0pending
ca5ca8d1-affb-4e10-8498-8d968c992db6
"A Guy Thing" tries to capture the feeling of "There's Something About Mary" or "Meet the Parents" but comes off more like it was edited up out of cutting-room rejects of those two films. Thankfully I rented it on a 5-day rental because I couldn't sit and watch more than 20 minutes at a time.<br /><br />The premise is ...
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train_3952
0pending
a56a8de7-b94c-4fb7-a8e8-b610e027a5a4
The only redemption was the small part by Larry Miller. It seemed that the movie was trying too hard to be "Something About Mary," but I didn't even like that movie and it still fell short of those standards. The actor who plays Paul was great, but Selma Blair is stuck in the stupidity of her Cruel Intentions character...
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train_3953
0pending
3a00876d-2f69-419b-acae-104284f58f96
Julia Stiles is a talented young actress, who with guidance from a reputable agent has a lot of potential. Obviously, the person who guided her into this travesty is not someone who cares anything about her career. I sat in the theater surrounded by teenagers who left in droves to find another movie to sneak into wonde...
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train_3954
0pending
c26167bd-5460-448c-a1ac-0d139fd68db5
I think Jason Lee has huge potential, but this was the WRONG vehicle in which to attempt to break out as a star. The plot is awful, the comedy is awful. I laughed twice, I think for relief, because in retrospect, they were fairly lame jokes. I found myself scared for the future of Fletch, and had to console myself that...
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train_3955
0pending
c75542f4-db8f-4842-b595-d2b8a1716fe0
This was one of the most boring movies I've ever seen… I don't really know why… Just your run-of-the-mill stories about guy who is about to get married, and starts to fancy someone else instead. Story has been told a thousand times. Nothing new or innovative about it at all.<br /><br />I don't really know what was wron...
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train_3956
0pending
416c3d18-0b0f-4c29-ae8c-529c89afc00e
I never thought I see a movie worse than "Lisa Picard Is Famous", but this came pretty close. As repeated often throughout the comments, it was predictable; five minutes into the movie you know it will be a stranded at the alter outcome. This movie painfully references/rips off everything from "Something about Mary" to...
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train_3957
0pending
5c19245a-fe95-47c7-99d1-ff4e16d84907
I saw this film at SXSW with the director in attendance. Quite a few people walked out, and the audience could barely muster even polite applause at the end. Of the 60 or 70 films I've seen at this festival, Frownland is among the worst.<br /><br />At 106 minutes, it is at least 95 minutes too long. You get to watch th...
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train_3958
0pending
d66eab61-384a-489f-a6fb-c9fc3536310f
Debbie Reynolds toe-taps, tangos and, yes, tap-dances her way through this ordinary thriller which has a distinctly fabricated '30s atmosphere. Two ladies, brought together when their sons commit a murder, try starting their lives over by running a tap-dance school for tots in Hollywood. Trouble is, one of them is plag...
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train_3959
0pending
49d9cfcb-6810-4008-ba02-edc308f5c7d4
The film is almost laughable with Debbie Reynolds and Shelley Winters teaming up as the mothers of convicted murderers. With the horrible notoriety after the trial, the two women team up and leave N.Y. for California in order to open and song and dance studio for Shirley Temple-like girls.<br /><br />From the beginning...
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train_3960
0pending
e0163dc0-880a-48de-bccc-f49698b65ed8
There's a lot the matter with Helen and none of it's good. Shelley Winters and Debbie Reynolds play mothers of a pair of Leopold & Loeb like killers who move from the mid-west to Hollywood to escape their past. Reynolds, a starstruck Jean Harlow wannabe, opens a dance studio for children and Winters is her piano player...
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train_3961
0pending
e075e471-fdd1-4da4-bc8d-dc224ce95a88
W. Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage is supposed to be a English language classic. If so, much must have been missing from the film version here. Phillip's (Leslie Howard) attraction to Mildred (Bette Davis) is so utterly inexplicable as to make the scenario seem like the post-breakup retelling of a relationship from...
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train_3962
0pending
1cfbcb36-4719-4c72-93e2-a9524f4434b0
Although Bette Davis did a WONDERFUL job as Mildred, I felt that the film wasn't the best I had seen. At the end of the movie I was left feeling like there was something missing in it.<br /><br />Bette Davis did a perfect job, though, and she made me hate her and pity her all the while. Leslie Howard did very good as t...
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train_3963
0pending
7971488f-4fbd-4858-bb5a-35813fd0896e
First of all, I would just like to say to everyone who has seen this movie, that the actor who played the "Transvestite" Is one of my friends, his name is Robert Dugdale, he's a terrific actor, although it doesn't say much about his filmography, he's been in several plays and musicals. He is currently residing in Terra...
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train_3964
0pending
b5f1cba3-ddc4-45a2-a98e-658b330beafe
In the days before gore and sex took over, real horror films were made. Castle of Blood is, in my estimation, one of the finest, although other reviewers have given it mixed ratings. In an odd sort of way it reminds of the more recent The Others, which was in the theaters a couple of years ago.<br /><br />Director Anto...
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train_3965
0pending
69ebba64-e717-4e81-9eac-c176707156b4
Our teacher showed us this movie in first grade. I haven't seen it since. I just watched the trailer though. Does this look like a first grade movie to you? I don't think so. I was so horrified by this movie, I could barely watch it. It was mainly the scene with Shirley McClain cutting that little girl in half, and the...
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train_3966
0pending
217fe7ed-40de-4903-879a-36cc984caa20
Roeg has done some great movies, but this a turkey. It has a feel of a play written by an untalented high-school student for his class assignment. The set decoration is appealing in a somewhat surrealistic way, but the actual story is insufferable hokum.
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train_3967
0pending
d63c37c5-3e5b-47fb-a40b-871bc9d745bf
I'd heard about this movie a while ago from a friend and she recently got it on DVD. There was a lot of anticipation and excitement as we'd both heard that this was a terrifying film, really scary. How disappointed was I?? VERY!!!! Apart from that one scene (we all know which bit) NOTHING happened!!! I was expecting to...
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train_3968
0pending
e61a2a91-276f-4f4f-9dc6-876ad64d0da6
Today, Bea Arthur died so I was cruising around the IMDb Web site and somehow wound up on a show called "Gloria." "All In The Family" was a brilliant show for its first four or five years and I bet I watched every episode more than once. However, I swear that I did NOT know a show named "Gloria" existed. Maybe, that's ...
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train_3969
0pending
719f5bdb-4561-477a-b43b-81bda68a703c
Despite being released on DVD by Blue Underground some five years ago, I have never come across this Italian "sword and sorcery" item on late-night Italian TV and, now that I have seen it for myself, I know exactly why. Not because of its director's typical predilection for extreme gore (of which there is some examples...
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train_3970
0pending
14a03a5d-61ed-4485-9dad-02dd64abb694
The plot and characters are ridiculous and barely qualify AS "plot" and "character". The biggest problem is the fact that everything is dark, out-of-focus, and blurry. The fact that Fulci filled the whole movie with mist doesn't help. On the other hand, the whole thing is completely bizarre and filled with sex and viol...
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train_3971
0pending
785baafc-aeac-4885-baf6-b15230a673ef
I like Fulci films, i really do and not in some boring ironic way either but i recognise that they appear hopelessly inept and garbled to lots of people.<br /><br />Conquest is where Fulci tries his hand at the epic fantasy genre and doesn't really succeed. Structurally, it's like most Fulci films you've seen. Some stu...
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train_3972
0pending
876bd226-72d4-4907-bb5e-23bf7be00a8d
Ah, Lucio Fulci, rest in peace. This infamous Italian is most<br /><br />famous for "Zombie," and the absolutely unwatchable "The<br /><br />Psychic" and "Manhattan Baby." Well, add this to the unwatchable<br /><br />list.<br /><br />The plot, as it were, concerns a nekkid woman who wears a gold<br /><br />mask and a G...
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train_3973
0pending
08366dcd-a342-4c3a-98c1-8372a6f5b940
Shlock-merchant Leo Fulci takes a change of pace by making a trashy, barely coherent sword and sorcery fantasy movie instead of his usual trashy, barely coherent horror. <br /><br />A wimpy Orlando Bloom type called Ilias, from some society vaguely resembling Ancient Greece travels across the ocean to caveman territory...
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train_3974
0pending
441625d0-fa05-49be-9c16-f1e845d3707c
Warning: This review contains a spoiler.<br /><br /> Wow. Almost impressively bad. Note I said, "almost". This is nothing more than lots of random scenes strung together in a loose attempt at a story. The protagonists (you CANNOT call them "heroes") shoot innocent bystanders for their food, and also rob same for simila...
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train_3975
0pending
fc9f89c2-6aa0-4526-9248-ec92a7bc525f
This was a watershed event in my movie watching life. I went to see this in the theater when it came out. I was completely amazed at just how bad it was. Movies like this make you wonder who put the money up and who owed whom a favor - a very, very large favor. The special effects are absolutely first grade level, as i...
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train_3976
0pending
6a087b87-d851-4eb7-8eb4-f04d0620c878
I usually talk a bit about the plot in the first part of my review but in this film there's really not much to talk of. Just a mish-mash of other FAR better sword & sorcery epics. Lack of cohesiveness runs rampant as does banality. Even the main villaness refusing to wear clothing other then a loincloth is pretty borin...
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train_3977
0pending
1fb5a9d4-9efb-4222-92ec-db80861addbf
I came at this film with high expectations. I was aware of Greenaway's work and 'The Tempest' and was interested in an adaptation. I first wanted to switch off after ten minutes, but felt that it would be unfair. There was a representation of a storm, but where in your mind do you conceive a small boy peeing over a toy...
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train_3978
0pending
610cdb21-5d19-43d2-acf8-8b4ea3b52fc7
"Sir" John Gielgud must have become senile to star in a mess of a movie like this one.;<br /><br />This is one of those films, I suppose, that is considered "art," but don't be fooled.....it's garbage. Stick to the "art" you can admire in a frame because the films that are labeled as such are usually unintelligible for...
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train_3979
0pending
66e25c93-530a-4744-8201-3a77088e642f
Every now and again you hear radio djs inviting listeners to nominate movies that the listener can't stand or never watched all the way through. This is the movie that I think of...days later.<br /><br />It's got something to do with a play by Shakespeare. Not sure, but I think I bailed on this movie some 20 odd minute...
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train_3980
0pending
b35d6f73-cecb-427d-b23c-947c1139d0a6
I saw this movie when it was released, and my distaste for it has stuck with me all these years. <br /><br />Here's why: <br /><br />Greenaway's goal seems to be to take every literary image in the Tempest and make it literal. If a character were to say, "my heart takes flight," we'd be shown an actual human heart, wit...
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train_3981
0pending
5ad1cc9b-9381-413a-a265-39d4eb23c0f6
This film was just painful to watch... not in the good dramatic way that makes you cringe with emotions for well developed characters in dramatic situations (yeah, I pretty much made that last sentence up as I went along), but in just an absolute dull way for OVER two hours. Now, you all may think I'm just some ignoran...
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train_3982
0pending
0d6f644e-f583-482a-9806-7bd2ae3816d8
This is not the worst film I have seen of Peter Greenaway but it is close. That dishonor goes to the even worse Pillow Book. This director's films of 3 I have seen I find them all to be miserable. Like The Cook...,whatever positive cinematic flourishes he displays, are totally unredeemed by the repugnancy of his materi...
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train_3983
0pending
35f252ab-14e9-4c7e-b213-8cfc66c3d0fd
This seems like one of those movies that we think we should like, but I didn't. It seemed to be trying way too hard to be 'artsy'. All flash, with no content. It has some beautiful scenes, and any one of them are nice to watch, but tack them all together and it becomes an arduous task just to sit through it. I rented t...
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train_3984
0pending
7536b991-850f-4866-a055-b2cc8242b4e4
I bought a DVD of this film for my girlfriend who shares the same name as the ghost girl in this film, and enjoys movies about the paranormal. The movie was shot entirely on video, so it has the look of a PBS special about it. The special effects are phoney looking, but there are actually some scary moments in the movi...
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train_3985
0pending
68ba3294-c384-4c52-9f66-d36764162ea4
JESSICA: A GHOST STORY is as the name implies a ghost story. The theme is meant to be horror but comes across closer to comedy!<br /><br />A woman comes who was brutally murdered comes back from the dead. This constitutes what this movie attempts to pass off as a plot. There is really nothing more to it. The movie comp...
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train_3986
0pending
78b0ae34-7379-4ae4-a344-b9bf845addd7
What do you get when you have bad acting, bad directing, scenes that are excruciatingly long, terrible lighting, painful editing, and awful effects? You get Jessica: A Ghost Story Seems its shot on betacam, which is fine, but the lighting has to compliment this medium. In this case it does not. There are a few CU's whe...
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train_3987
0pending
60009772-b5cd-4e6b-b392-914cf0df7c20
This subject matter deserves a much better script, and final result, than this movie serves up. The script is full of holes because it was never conceived as a story, but rather a string of nightmare scenarios loosely knitted together. The gaps and loose ends in the story line are numerous. The scene where the kidnap v...
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train_3988
0pending
2d856811-54a2-44ba-a433-055cc6b24bd1
I'm a horror/gore movie freak and this flick was so bad, I felt embarrassed for not only the "actors", but also the director and the poor sap of a producer who actually put his money up for this schlock.<br /><br />From the title, you'd expect some great carnage, somewhat of a storyline and at LEAST some direction or d...
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train_3989
0pending
6cfb0725-3cf9-45bc-987b-36a8b8fd8d85
I expect the same excitement as I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE but I was let down by just junk how can you even call this a movie ( its kinda of a mini porno) . It made my sick when the guy was made to eat his own business. There is no story line to it at all it jumps to quickly from each murder. If you like seeing a women naked...
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train_3990
0pending
29642a0a-2220-4303-9f45-3ffa6eb3a435
NO SPOILERS.<br /><br />I love horror movies, but this has got to be the poorest attempt to make one ever. Calling it "a movie" is also a stretch. This "random-clips-of-obviously-fake-and-tacky-violence-and-an-ugly- woman-trying-to-act-sexy-edited-poorly-together" is not worth watching.<br /><br />Watching this is abou...
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train_3991
0pending
216ea389-604a-4957-8828-4a4b66391b0b
I watch bad movies.<br /><br />This movie is not good enough to be a bad movie. Not an ounce of humor, not an ounce of talent throughout.<br /><br />I am LAZY.<br /><br />Usually, I see a bad movie and curse. This was so bad, I actually made a review to try and save others from the completely boring mess I fell victim ...
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train_3992
0pending
13b6e095-b2ca-46f2-9ce2-e077da7c36fb
A young man kills a young woman for no reason. The man's brother is jailed on charges that he was an accomplice, but soon escapes. Upon escaping, the seemingly innocent man kidnaps three victims and soon he ropes his girlfriend in on the plot. If this isn't bad enough, the situation quickly makes a downward spiral.<br ...
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train_3993
0pending
9d8dcec0-7206-4dfd-9558-75fa4269896d
Picture the fugly annoying goth kids from college in a scat film, throw in a pinch of story and a whole lot of awful acting, and you are still not even close to how bad this movie is.<br /><br />Shot badly, bad effects, worse acting. Contrived attempt at shocking horror. Everyone I've showed this to gets kinda depresse...
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train_3994
0pending
4a02a8f2-5586-424e-9f6b-f0d8c24e8ca0
good lord! (and that coming from an atheist), this "movie" is bad !<br /><br />much has already been said by the reviewers before (the ones who rated this piece 3 and below) to which I fully agree, I just like to add a few things: <br /><br />among the three guys who had to eat their own digestive end products, got cho...
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train_3995
0pending
97bcd9e1-0d41-41e1-b3d1-c826966c3010
With a title like that, it's above and beyond my comprehension how this movie just did NOT appeal to me. Granted, there's a few decently sleazy moments and a little gore, but the way in which the movie was shot and the overall storyline just struck me as an idiotic and lazy attempt at profuse "shock" tactics... The inc...
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train_3996
0pending
827c77c6-ce45-46d5-a637-ce5a78bb1dbc
Am I wrong,or is the 2007 version just a rip-off of the original? I have to ask because the DVD I just bought is one of the worst films I have ever seen.....bad acting,bad editing etc....the only "exploitation " aspect here is how we were ripped off for our money buying this piece of crap. It is nothing more than a lig...
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train_3997
0pending
f014df23-3085-405e-b3b7-dad13af41e95
In director Eric Stanze's 'ISOYC, IPOYG', three men are subjected to torture at the the hands of a woman that they have all sexually abused. The first victim is forced to eat his own crap, before being axed to death. The next bloke ends up with a bullet in the crotch after refusing to have anal sex with the first guy's...
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train_3998
0pending
ed5d3b88-a61c-4cc6-828f-655ccfc18645
...through the similarly minded antics of Eric Stanze. A not-particularly talented director has helmed a not-particularly good movie, yet I still found myself sitting through it to the closing credits, if for nothing more than to see what happens next.<br /><br />A rapist escapes from prison and calls up his old flame....
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train_3999
0pending
5ccc7e4d-6ac8-4325-8b7d-e2b5b6e8963f
This movie is extremely boring, it tells a story of a female gas station owner and her life. Nothing exciting ever happens. The director has really "kept it real" and it feels just like a camera following a woman around as she lives her life. I had to watch other films by this director for a class, the others were not ...
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