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jfcalvo
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export-testing-271

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train_4100
0pending
a1976062-1410-4219-9c1d-26d0f272add7
This is an amateur movie shot on video, not an "electrifying drama" as the DVD liner notes falsely boast. I have seen much better stuff from undergrad film students. The bulk of the story unfolds with an all-nite taxi ride around Jakarta. This movie could have been made using a single video camera, but there are a few ...
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train_4101
0pending
11524a53-a0b3-4bb7-bfc3-cc36d685ddc6
This isn't one of those reviews about poor special effects or technology, or being dated, issues that only the dorkiest people could relate with, but rather a review on the story telling, which most of us are truly interested in.<br /><br />The plot is about a combination of WWII Allied and German Navy members, and two...
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train_4102
0pending
d30dc089-d15d-4ee6-8a17-4ef249ee100c
This was recently on AMC's vibrant movie classics and I had to laugh. I had high hopes for this adventure that follows in the vein of "Voyage to the Earth's Core" and "Mysterious Island". I was sorely disappointed not only in the acting credentials but in the silly story line that reads from a five year old's comic boo...
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train_4103
0pending
d35a1836-2aba-4c30-a595-3c2854f50bcb
Another day stuck indoors, another film to watch. Having finally completed my Christmas shopping yesterday on a cold and foggy afternoon, I had nowhere else to go to escape "The Land That Time Forgot". Or rather, I had nothing else to watch.<br /><br />Doug McClure, that bastion of leading-man actors, leads a handful o...
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train_4104
0pending
1a336283-fdb1-4582-a776-088f70a4b599
I had a recent spectator experience with The Perfect Witness (2007) because the NetFlix computer recommendation engine suggested I watch this film. Apparently, at some point, I told it how much I liked Michael Haneke's, Benny's Video. I don't know about you, but this parallel being drawn provoked in me a maelstrom of e...
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train_4105
0pending
bbb958ce-5faf-448c-838d-7ab2cd427b69
Having just wasted a couple of hours watching this and for 80% of that time in complete disbelief, I can give this garbage the turkey of the year award, no problem. To say the plot was unbelievable is some big understatement. Frankly I am lost for words to describe this utter tripe. Not only are the characters complete...
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train_4106
0pending
6e843db5-2df6-491b-80c6-c81461670676
Wow, i'm a huge Henry VIII/Tudor era fan and, well, this was .... interesting. The only one I watched was the Catherine of Aragon one. And wow...just wow. I've seen bad acting before, but this reached new heights. When the actress who played Catherine was umm.. crying? she wails and screams and i have to admit i rewind...
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train_4107
0pending
7f3d0e50-8aad-4aa4-bf5d-f06c68d92d78
The beginning of this movie is excellent with tremendous sound and some nice humor, but once the film changes into animation it quickly loses its appeal.<br /><br />One of the reasons that was so, at least for me, was that the colors in much of the animation are too muted, with too little contrast. It doesn't look good...
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train_4108
0pending
d13af3ab-cb56-4d47-a907-5658b46e5a59
About 4 years ago, I liked this movie. I would watch it over and over and over. But now... I don't. Actually, I think this movie would have been great for Mystery Science Theater 3000. It has a bunch of comment-heavy actors (Macaulay Culkin, Christopher Lloyd, Patrick Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg), and a pretty cheesy plot...
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train_4109
0pending
85e61665-9086-4145-ac78-5654105a46b3
Richard Tyler is a little boy who is scared of everything. He doesn't like riding his bike or climbing on his tree house because he knows what kind of accidents might happen to him. So one day he is riding his bike and because it is starting to rain, he decides to wait in the library until it stops raining. In there th...
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train_4110
0pending
d3ae3756-d2e9-4619-afc2-240abd20a431
"I'm a cartoon!" "You're an illustration!" what does that suppose to mean?! This plot could not be worse as a boy, who's afraid of everything, becomes very brave at the very end of the film because he went into a library. The only purpose of this waste of celluloid was to encourage American kids to read, when a cheaper...
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train_4111
0pending
f6600246-9388-4cd7-82dc-d366b7ea42b1
There is a really good movie lurking just beneath the surface of the layers upon layers of cheese that is "the Pagemaster".<br /><br />I found this out when I watched this again this morning after neglecting it for years and years. I remember hating it with a passion when it first came out, but this time, I found that ...
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train_4112
0pending
d235e46a-e95c-4436-b878-677424f334dd
Ghost Town starts as Kate Barrett (Catherine Hickland) drives along an isolated desert road, her car suddenly breaks down & she hears horses hoofs approaching... Deputy Sheriff Langley (Frank Luz) of Riverton County is called in to investigate Kate's disappearance after her father reports her missing. He finds her brok...
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train_4113
0pending
276087ba-9cce-4651-a241-5d1b967fd3a0
I was at this film's premiere at the Toronto Film Festival in 1997. After the screening, when the writer/director and some cast members offered to answer questions, no one could even be bothered to ask any. Rarely has a film been so poorly directed (why on earth were random frames snipped out of some scenes?), wretched...
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train_4114
0pending
f1592a6a-5c96-49d6-a32a-0713e58ddb76
THE ALARMIST is so abysmally scripted that you have think to yourself why on earth did an up and coming actor like David Arquette agree to be in it. It has to be one of the weakest plots I have ever seen and without any humour at all, it borders on the brink of tedious. It staggers along to a dreadful conclusion which ...
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train_4115
0pending
75f9233d-d0f6-46bf-911e-0ecb023199a5
David Arquette is a young and naive home security alarm<br /><br />salesman taken under the wing of Stanley Tucci. Arquette is a<br /><br />golden boy, scoring a big sale on his first call- to widow Kate<br /><br />Capshaw and her dopey son Ryan Reynolds. Things are going<br /><br />well for Arquette, he is appearing i...
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train_4116
0pending
6da613ca-9317-4308-90e8-61b6039a61ab
What begins as a fairly clever farce about a somewhat shady security monitoring company turns, almost instantaneously, into an uninteresting and completely inane murder mystery. David Arquette and the great Stanley Tucci try mightily to make this train wreck watchable, but some things are just not humanly possible.<br ...
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train_4117
0pending
7ca85758-01ac-48fd-b0bd-a1fcdc181839
...am i missing something here??? "unexpected plot developments"? "plot twisting with subversive glee"? are these viewers watching the same Arquette vehicle to which i just subjected myself (in an now-obvious sub(un)conscious bout of sadomasochism)...I just joined this site simply to make sure that no one else ever ren...
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train_4118
0pending
73943d62-6af4-4b98-93d9-06e4ec52dbd6
What a horrible comedy. Totally lame. The supposed "humor" was simple and stupid. Stanly Tucci (a great actor) had the only parts worth chuckling at. And he was tied up and gagged at the time. Don't waste your time with this one. It deserves a 0/10.
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train_4119
0pending
25484a6d-c81f-4d9c-94b5-dee5ea015954
Pointless, humourless drivel.....meant to be a comedy; but not one laugh in the whole film. Gratuitous violence often with guns. What kind of warped mentality can either make or say this is a good film?! 1 out of 10.
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train_4120
0pending
222cfb44-5a5d-4571-bc6b-ef2384002bb1
Very poor effort that offers pretty much nothing to anyone but a hardcore fan of Stanley Tucci, who tries, but can not save the poor structure, dialogue, direction, or talent of our leading man.<br /><br />Pretty much the only trick this plodding tale of a naive new salesman for an alarm company has, is its quirky side...
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train_4121
0pending
83953843-9c97-4c9b-833f-b0f0164ff1f6
I caught this Cuban film at at an arthouse film club. It was shown shortly after the magisterial 1935 Silly Symphony cartoon where the Isle of Symphony is reconciled with the Isle of Jazz. What with the recently deceased Ruben Gonzalez piped through speakers in this old cinema-ballroom and a Cuban flag hanging from pee...
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train_4122
0pending
a7bcde68-7cfc-434f-bf4b-2a0d643821d7
Unbelievably bad acting, a no good, unclear story and flashy images and slow-motions where they are needed the least: Adrenaline is everything a movie should not be.<br /><br />Georgina Verbaan (a so-and-so dutch soap actress who hasn't attended her English classes) plays rich girl Freya, who has the habit of 'thrill-s...
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train_4123
0pending
43912742-4905-47a8-9342-e0f1d4e96019
This is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. Not just the story, but the acting is shockingly bad. The dialog sounds like someone reading the news.<br /><br />This is rated as comedy/drama/romance, it's not of those things ! It's a little action, that's it. There's really NO comedy and drama at all.<br /><...
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train_4124
0pending
2a52b319-ce26-477f-a459-65c7ff2307f0
Given the people involved, it is hard to see why this movie should be so messed up and dull. The writer, David Ward, wrote the amazing caper film "The Sting" two years later, Jane Fonda had just won an Academy Award for Klute, and Donald Sutherland had just done excellent work in films like "Klute," "Start the Revoluti...
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train_4125
0pending
8ddc69cc-be46-4175-84e5-2728298d6431
This film started out very promising with the story about a director who loses his sight and a blind woman who is bound to help him. However, somewhere in the middle it seemed like the script writers didn't know where to go from there.<br /><br />One unbelievable event followed the next (Russia must be very small becau...
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train_4126
0pending
77cb3016-d90b-468e-aa4e-1c61096e943f
Although the actors were good, specially Fritzi Haberland as the blind Lilly, the film script is obsessively pretentious and completely arbitrary. A famous theatre director (Hilmir Snær Guðnason), becoming blind after a car accident, is on the run for himself and his destiny. Lilly, being sightless since her birth, is ...
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train_4127
0pending
725136ba-196f-4e33-8a1b-6686f3d006d0
In this short an urban man and his wife have their weird lives set akimbo when the man takes to wearing an old red pants suit of his mother in law's.<br /><br />I kept watching this hoping that I could see why it had been made, or why the other reviewers found it funny. For me it was a total waste of time.<br /><br />N...
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train_4128
0pending
57fb31c5-2048-49b9-a764-398e643a5080
I have seen many a horror flick in my time, all of them absurdly bad, but none reach the depths that this piece of trash lowers itself to. This movie made me angrier and angrier as I watched it as I tried to wrap my head around exactly what this movie was about. Now, after I've seen it, I understand - sort of - what wa...
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train_4129
0pending
de815afd-d4d7-4433-88ff-b285a9b19ebb
I saw this movie a few months ago in the town which appeared as Greendale in the movie, which is the only reason I went to see it. Another local who was there just forwarded to me an email announcement of a repeat showing because the first had sold out and people were turned away. His editorial comment in his forward i...
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train_4130
0pending
0400e42a-ef78-4174-8e6f-50954c4acd03
I had the distinct misfortune of catching up on two of 2004's worst films back to back this morning: first, the incoherent CGI-driven emptiness of The Chronicles of Riddick, and then, the embarrassing vanity project known as Greendale. One cost multimillions and the other cost pennies, but they're both bad. Really, rea...
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train_4131
0pending
7374db8a-d527-4b97-888b-824e00142db6
I'm a big mark for the music of Neil Young, and with that and the glowing praise the film received in many alt-indie press circles, hit the first showing of Greendale I could find. My excitement was short-lived, as this turgid storyline and weak lyrical momentum left most filmgoers either asleep or disappointed.<br /><...
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train_4132
0pending
71b15167-94e8-494e-9229-e322adf62c78
A film written and directed by Neil Young, "Greendale" is little more than an 87-minute music video set to a doxen or so of the songwriter's works. In lieu of dialogue, the film relies exclusively on Young's lyrics, which are heavily laced with sociopolitical commentary, to tell the "story" while actors act out the sce...
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train_4133
0pending
67203525-052d-44b4-b742-2e967b0144c1
My commentary has nothing to do with the political sentiments found in the film. In fact, they're quite congruent with mine. What gets me is the fact that in terms of a movie, it is stupid and devoid of any semblance of story, motive or dialogue. Maybe someone should tell Neal that substituting lyrics of songs which ar...
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train_4134
0pending
d23fceb2-babe-47e1-9f2d-7ba43081123e
I give this movie a 3 as it is worse than the cult movies that deserve a proper 2. It does not make sense to you? Well, it doesn't have to. This is another vampire movie with a stupid plot, no, let me rephrase, incredibly idiotic plot, where space cowboys (complete with cowboy hats) battle a space race of moron vampire...
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train_4135
0pending
806e97d0-fba3-43ff-9d39-5997e1f92b44
Bloodsuckers has the potential to be a somewhat decent movie, the concept of military types tracking down and battling vampires in space is one with some potential in the cheesier realm of things. Even the idea of the universe being full of various different breeds of vampire, all with different attributes, many of whi...
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train_4136
0pending
8d7443d3-3080-4c74-adab-09b1746b8427
If it were not for the "Oh So Gourgous," Natassia Malthe, this B- movie would not have been worth one sector of my Tivo disk space! In what low rent, back lot warehouse was the supposed space port filmed in? "Continuity People!" It's a basic principle in real movie making! By night an alleged space port and by day (nig...
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train_4137
0pending
e54685f5-3b90-4770-8517-cafa3b0ed3b7
This movie is not as horrible as most Sci-Fi Channel movies. I am used to seeing the gray CGI blobs and the amateurish special effects such as close-ups of fake blood that make it very obvious that the blood is strawberry syrup or some other syrup variation. However, I had thought that I had seen all the possible lows ...
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train_4138
0pending
8a9ef041-9a4a-4fbd-9007-d3542c5e0814
I saw this a couple of nights back, not expecting too much and unsurprisingly it didn't deliver anything too exciting. The plot set up of a crew of vampire hunters (V-San, for vampire sanitation), going around in their spaceship periodically killing space vamps and rescuing people, is quite sound and had the film been ...
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train_4139
0pending
396e4351-b304-45fb-aa01-3fbbe5d652bf
I picked this movie up to replace the dismal choice of daytime television and to go with my thirst for femme fatales. Well, for the previous, it is better than daytime television....though I'm not sure how much.<br /><br />It does have its points but after about the first 20-30 minutes, the good points pan out and one ...
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train_4140
0pending
431e053c-0c54-42d9-9b9c-1d65765f411e
#1 Vampires vs. Humans<br /><br />#2 Military-reject roughneck squad as first responders to dangerous, unknown Vampire incursions.<br /><br />#3 Sexy female Vampire on the side of the "good guys".<br /><br />#4 Plenty of gore and action.<br /><br />There are four (4) major plot devices that may help you decide if you w...
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train_4141
0pending
3aab6b12-3048-445c-945c-e1501b533060
Man has been to the farthest reaches of the earth and now he is traveling to new worlds. But with new worlds come ancient evils... the vampires of space. And not just a handful but entire tribes. In this film (which I saw as "Bloodsuckers" but I guess also goes as "Vampires Wars") we see what happens when the imperiali...
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train_4142
0pending
2c5a14b2-dbd2-4279-b994-5160bae8e914
Second movie in the boxset. Originally titled Bloodsuckers, This movie was pretty average. It is kinda boring in some parts but there is some good gore effects, but they're not great though. <br /><br />The movie takes place in the year 2210. Vampires have pretty much taken over the whole world. The V-SAN (Vampire Sani...
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train_4143
0pending
e63aa9de-03de-45a0-8e37-031f9f9a4c46
Perhaps I missed the meeting when the meaning of "B-movie" was explained, but what I just saw was ridiculous. You want a good synopsis of this movie? Take Aliens, replace the xenomorphs with vampires, then remove everything that was good about it, and that's pretty much it.<br /><br />5 minutes into the movie, the "V-S...
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train_4144
0pending
dabce5dc-f4a2-4cbf-a4ff-ab4e25761d21
I think Micheal Ironsides acting career must be over, if he has to star in this sort of low budge crap. Surely he could do better than waste his time in this rubbish.<br /><br />This movie could be far better, if it had a good budget, but it shows repeatedly through-out the movie. There is one scene at a outpost, which...
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train_4145
0pending
cb5eae6f-b47f-4b53-82bd-0aadae115f5c
Whoo-boy, that was definitely one of the worst flicks I've seen all summer. Granted, it was on Sci Fi, and I don't watch much Sci Fi, but man, talk about a razor thin plot and two dimensional characters to the max.<br /><br />The characters were stereotypical and overdone, the plot and setting were unbelievable, the va...
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train_4146
0pending
fdfdd3fa-d25a-4c35-a0ad-b95cf9d35c68
Man I must say when I saw the trailer I was excited. Futuristic soldiers, taking on bad ass Vampires led by genre vet Michael Ironside....In Space. I mean I wasn't expecting high art, but It looked like a potential B movie classic. This was no doubt a TV pilot, reedited some time later into a feature film, after it was...
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train_4147
0pending
12ddf306-1112-4749-9d00-48779bdc4a77
Although it really isn't such a terribly movie (especially considering it was made directly for TV-distribution), it'll be very difficult to point out one aspect in "Bloodsuckers" that is actually original or refreshing. Vampires in space isn't exactly a new formula, and even after so many movies dealing with these mon...
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train_4148
0pending
1c743c28-524f-42a1-a63a-282e06d41fc5
I'd passed this title 15 or 20 times while in Blockbuster, looking for something halfway decent to watch. All I can say is that they were all out halfway decent films the night I chose to rent this.<br /><br />I will give it credit for being leaps and bounds better than "Dracula 3000", but in actuality that's pretty ea...
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train_4149
0pending
dafdc682-ab38-4940-ba0d-baf9f6d73cdf
This is just flat out unwatchable. If there's a story in here somewhere, it's so deeply buried beneath the horrid characters and jarring camera work that's it's indiscernible. There's a group of vampire hunters who go around doing their thing, and the vampires they kill have little aliens inside of them. They pop their...
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train_4150
0pending
d3058d4f-8a26-4d68-ac5c-6a01a2466ed7
I gave it a 2 just because Natassia Malthe (as the vampiress Quintana) looks sooooo sexy in this movie.<br /><br />Certainly there is very little logic to this movie, but so are most of the sci-fi vampire flicks. The movie probably tried too much to break away from the traditional vampire stories. Unfortunately, it wen...
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train_4151
0pending
8ffc1f4e-1452-4581-96a0-9a3d8f1b46a1
Well, this movie started out funny but quickly deteriorated. I thought it would be more 'adult oriented' humor based on the first few moments but then the movie switched into a bad made-for-Disney Channel type mode, especially a go-kart racing scene that was incredibly long. Alana De La Garza is gorgeous but has a real...
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train_4152
0pending
9f3c178a-cc36-4950-a81a-c7b7fa5ef14a
I was eager to see "Mr. Fix It" because I'm a huge David Boreanaz fan. What I got, though, was a 1-1/2 hour nap. The premise seemed enjoyable: Boreanaz is Lance Valenteen, proprietor of a business called "Mr. Fix It", where dumped men enlist his help to get their girlfriends to take them back.<br /><br />Among the prob...
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train_4153
0pending
cd4e9197-2a56-4971-8283-3c8aa457905d
Complete waste of time.... This movie is not comedy, it's not drama, it's not romance...not even teenage comedy at least!!! Story... it should be some turn-over one end... but it's so disappointing! When movie has a turn-over on end I expect that turn-over to make movie even better (exp. "Fight Club") but this turn-ove...
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train_4154
0pending
853540f6-1699-4d06-a645-9d610229f3aa
I'm a big fan of camp, but when every plot 'twist' is predictable and bad, while obviously not trying to be, even I lose interest. I was going to rate this a 3, but the ending dropped it a point easily. Its only saving grace is that I hated other movies more. Not enough beer in the world for this one.
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train_4155
0pending
dfff4b80-c20e-4fc1-98f0-e366abe03814
<br /><br />What is left of Planet Earth is populated by a few poor and starving rag-tag survivors. They must eat bugs and insects, or whatever, after a poison war, or something, has nearly wiped out all human civilization. In these dark times, one of the few people on Earth still able to live in comfort, we will call ...
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train_4156
0pending
13cdf1d7-aae3-4671-96b3-2f6017e91cd7
I see where a few people involved in this debacle wrote reviews to share their side of the story, and I thought what they wrote was helpful in understanding it. The fact that they basically came up with excuses -- rewrites, budget constraints, production formats etc -- simply underlines how bad this movie is. And my cr...
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train_4157
0pending
690c23b1-ae4e-4835-8f63-980ace19b374
If you really enjoyed the 2002 Resident Evil movie, then you should just see it instead of waisting 2 hours you'll never get back. I can not believe that no one has commented that this movie is just a cheap knock off of RE. First, a "special" commando force is the unique defense for a facility with a computer matrix th...
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train_4158
0pending
cccfa06c-7fcb-4b80-882a-ff020b03789b
A stuttering plot, uninteresting characters and sub-par (to say the least) dialogue plagues this TV production that could hardly have been interesting even with a billion dollar production budget.<br /><br />The characters aren't believable, in their motives, actions or their professed occupations. The plot reads like ...
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train_4159
0pending
321f16dd-7141-4812-aaad-bd73dfe82ff4
This was quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I watched it with a large group of friends and after it was over not a one of us understood the plot. Aside from the lack of plot, the acting was atrocious, the "special effects" were not so special, and the writing was absolutely horrible. The movie's only rede...
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train_4160
0pending
c68f05fa-fa16-48a5-b6d8-b81e4d789aae
In this strangely-lackadaisical apocalypse, the world suffers from a dual plague of zombies and vampires, but no one seems to be too worried about it in this Grade-Z film which bares less resemblance to Sheridan Le Fanu's famous short novel than my mother's lasagna recipe. Bored attendants still run gas stations and do...
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train_4161
0pending
f29659b2-b260-408d-b235-49fe197e5d09
This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen!!!! <br /><br />I can honestly say I have never seen a movie worse than this one!!!<br /><br />AND I MEAN NEVER!!!!<br /><br />I'm a BIG fan of "B" horror movies. As you may imagine.... I've been exposed to some of worst that the movie industry has to offer.<br /><br />I ...
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train_4162
0pending
f184792c-024c-4cc3-9b99-8c3e67a59aac
The above seemed a much more appropriate title when me and my suicidal underlings decided to watch this masterpiece of modern bullshit <br /><br />Erotic,Scary, Suspenseful, Well thought out, these are all the things this film fails to be.<br /><br />It is however incredibly funny, the slow sound effects and bad dubbin...
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train_4163
0pending
9003cc7a-9020-4afe-9b54-91596cb0e8ca
Yes, this movie is bad. What's worse is that it takes no advantage whatsoever of its own title!! In the ENTIRE movie, zombies and vampires fight each other ONCE OR TWICE. On top of that, we're never really sure if the main character in the movie is DEFINITELY a vampire. One might argue they were trying to "tone it down...
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train_4164
0pending
b49f624c-fec7-4684-b33f-2b9c19a1e2de
OK, I knew this would be a back alley F-film (well below B-film standards) going into it, so I thought, "Man, I could use a good laugh, so let's see some nether-beings kill each other." Well, what I got could have been found at your local "love toy" store. Random lesbian scenes, very little fighting, and no plot.<br />...
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train_4165
0pending
babd1a00-7154-4db6-8934-5cc47fd21918
Vampires Vs. Zombies wasn't the original title. It was actually... <br /><br />Nasty Lesbian Semi-Vampires and Two Zombies Getting Hit by Cars: Special Guest appearances by Bob the Lesbian Gypsie-Witch and her dog, Random Woman with special powers and the Catholic School Girl Short Skirt Zombie Choir. <br /><br />Also ...
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train_4166
0pending
bee711f4-39a0-461b-ab7b-1f57d8ab7f7d
I really have no idea how to comment on this movie. The special effects were lackluster, the acting was terrible and if there was a plot to it all, it was on the back of the box. I don't think I can remember a movie being THIS bad in a long time, and I'm a big fan of lesbian sex and boobies!! ;) Even that couldn't save...
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train_4167
0pending
e1a745ea-f149-4843-96ee-5eb8d49e94f8
First off I must stress how rare it is that I take the time to comment on a movie that I have seen, it takes a very special case for me to take the time and write about how I felt about a film. That said, of the hundreds of movies I have watched I have seen some of the most brilliant, Shawshank, the scariest, The Woman...
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train_4168
0pending
5bb040a9-5be4-45a9-ab44-801b3bf47053
This is probably the best horror film made since Ed Wood died. <br /><br />I can't spoil the ending, because I have absolutely no idea what happened. I'll try my best, though. There are some kind of lesbian vampires, but they keep swapping bodies, so any character might or might not be the character you're supposed to ...
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train_4169
0pending
c2e70931-7b30-4188-b810-f617a60c49a6
Oh it really really is. I've seen films that I disliked more, due to whatever reason, but never have I seen a film that just fails in every single aspect of film making. It even fails to fail at film making, in a Way the Hercules in New York could be said to do. It's not the film I like the least, but it is the very wo...
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train_4170
0pending
732ee80e-a7e7-4ad4-a58e-e8c0bfc05aa8
Dear me. Where do I start? The dad isn't anywhere near old enough to be the girl's dad. He corpses on camera in the first 5 minutes of the film. The favoured exclamation in this film is "Jesus Christ!!!". Zombies are agile, stupid and few and far between. Motives are utterly incomprehensible and a narrative does not ex...
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train_4171
0pending
10efc845-fbfb-406f-92d8-223b0f7359ab
I picked up this movie with the intention of getting a bad zombie movie. But I had no Idea what I was getting myself into.<br /><br />I started the movie and soon I had been pulled into a world of pain and visual torture.<br /><br />I finally know what hell is like. It's this movie. For eternity. This movie has no valu...
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train_4172
0pending
43bbf1a2-693a-4f0e-a8c5-295a2d419626
I am an avid fan of horrendous movies, anything cheesy and down right ridiculous is my game. So imagine my spirit I went to the local Rent Shop, and found Vampires vs. Zombies. The name is just too entertaining, you know that no one in the world could pull off something like it, it just has to be bad.<br /><br />And bo...
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train_4173
0pending
0ed72934-4f93-446f-9dd6-5baa0c945145
After watching this thing, then reading the summary on the back of the DVD, then thinking back to actual movie....I became a bit dizzy. I thought, maybe I fell asleep and dreamed I was a down syndrome baby waltzing through a never ending forest where people drive 11 miles an hour and stop for no purpose other then occa...
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train_4174
0pending
8ef2b5d7-80c4-4500-83e4-c1ee07e81902
Okay, I've watched this movie twice now, I have researched it heavily on the net, I have asked several people on there opinions. I have even gone to the length of reading the original Sheridan Lafanu Classic 'Carmilla', a book that this movie is supposed to be based on. I feel that the best way to review this movie is ...
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train_4175
0pending
c3203871-9259-4439-97bd-7dc9c9809a76
Vampires Vs. Zombies starts with the breaking news that the unidentified disease that is spreading across America leaves the sufferer with homicidal & cannibalistic tendencies... Travis Fontaine (C.S. Munro) & his teenage daughter Jenna (Bonny Giroux) listen to the radio as they drive along the isolated backwoods roads...
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train_4176
0pending
c406f324-88ec-4714-b499-e76fb8efa288
As myself and my other half are big fans of trash horror we couldn't resist getting out a movie that contained both of the greats we were thrilled! However for a 2004 movie with a rip off cover of Freddy Vs Jason this is a disgrace! The worst film I have ever seen but worth a look for a laugh if you are able to sit thr...
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train_4177
0pending
8eeca7c0-1f48-48e3-99e0-9a6a124c0091
This is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen!! There was absolutely nothing good to say about this movie. I have seen some bad movies but this one takes it. There is no plot and most of the movie you are either fast forwarding the movie to get it done faster or you are wondering what the hell is going on because y...
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train_4178
0pending
442149be-02ea-4702-bce5-3041a94a9474
Well...the movie was a fun watch. The main problem with this movie is the fact that it goes against everything that most vampire myths abide by. Like vampires that walk in the sunlight. Though there are parts that just make you enjoy the way society makes movies. A scene where a vampire gets stabbed and screams "Ow thi...
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train_4179
0pending
0eceb7a9-ed37-4228-8de0-b6caa8e39392
As you may or may not have heard, there is no actual fighting between vampires or zombies in this film. One may then ask why the title suggested such a thing, but really it's kind of appropriate because nothing else about this film made any sense either. There was absolutely no story or plot, just things happening. The...
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train_4180
0pending
49b07c67-6269-4591-93f7-dfb4c1745be3
OK, look at the title of this film.<br /><br />the title says it all right? the title is great... i mean, a lot of things should come into your head after readin it. in fact, you might be extremely anxious to see it.<br /><br />well, sadly, you won't see any of that.<br /><br />just a bunch of bad actors, some blood sp...
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train_4181
0pending
4be3c12f-1e22-4547-911b-df821efc5efa
I though this would be an okay movie, since i like zombies and horror movies in general. But i did not think it would be such a piece of sh!t like it was. The only zombie in the movie is at the beginning and he gets ran over by a god damn car!!! The movie looks to be written by a porn director and filled by porn actors...
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train_4182
0pending
225ced99-c9d8-4e70-8606-c980f365c4dd
I have a high tolerance level for crap, so I was looking forward to this. It did not disappoint. Apparently based on Sheridan Le Fanu's classic Carmilla, it follows a father and daughter hunting a female vampire who, luckily, happens to be travelling with them. Then we have Santa Claus (or the General, as he likes to b...
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train_4183
0pending
29c26bc3-210a-40dc-82ba-c9f5c988ee58
I read the reviews before i watched this movie, and i didn't believe them. I love crap movies and i expected this one to be average. It wasn't. This film makes Camp Blood 1 and 2 look like greats. The film contains bad acting, poor sound, poor confusing storyline, bad makeup- and it bored me so much i turned it off. ev...
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train_4184
0pending
b897d626-7f9c-43cb-9282-e36600eb1b20
This film was so bad i had to fast forward most of it to get to the good bits. Hah what good bits? the only bit that was worth it was the ending (those who have seen the film will know what i mean). I expected a lot from this film like a underworld meets dawn of the dead meets Freddy vs. Jason but what i got was this c...
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train_4185
0pending
2206637d-8b96-48fd-9d1b-b750ead246c1
I honestly have to say that I could not stop watching this movie from the second that it started. Simply for how bad it was!!! It's kinda like watching paint dry only a lot more confusing. I mean you sit there and just wait for something to happen, anything in fact, preferably something that makes the whole film make s...
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train_4186
0pending
7e41d324-5ff1-4068-a18c-9f51669f7324
I watched this movie with some friends a couple months ago, I still laugh today thinking about some of the utter stupidity. The first few scenes alone were hilarious. I won't spoil anything for those who wish to see it, I wouldn't want to ruin the laughs. Needless to say the entire time I watched this movie I was tryin...
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train_4187
0pending
ef7899c7-e940-4caa-aff0-0195939a002d
Feature of early 21 century cinema of lets pit different evil creatures and bad guys against each other. We haven't seen stuff like this since Godzilla v King Kong and the like. Always sounds great on paper when you're splicing up and in a haze of the good stuff you have an inspired idea and see the whole playing out b...
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train_4188
0pending
b8911f46-29b9-4d44-9d81-86f251ae3dc7
This movie should be nominated for a new genre: Complete Mess! Except for a few chuckles and one or two scenes of gore, this movie is a complete waste of time. Calling it "Campy" doesn't even cut it. "Campy" implies fun which this movie was not. You spend the first half of the movie thinking "Its got to get better, rig...
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train_4189
0pending
bcda5ac9-37f8-4c5f-84cd-e82e60b37ac9
A top contender for worst film ever made. Joanna Pakula's character seems to have an I.Q. of 3 which is only one less than the writer and director. The screenplay would not have passed in a high school writing class; the "jokes" are juvenile; the concept corny. These performers were obviously desperate for work. I stay...
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train_4190
0pending
55d5cb84-5e6b-4b3b-84fb-c8fb41849105
After watching about half of this I was ready to give up and turn it off, but I endured to the end. This is a movie that tries to be a romantic comedy and fails. The acting is poor---much worse than the acting in 80s T&A movies.<br /><br />There are several attempts at humour that fail miserably and the movie is 100% p...
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train_4191
0pending
fc98fe81-54ad-4d45-a319-26c1970ca00d
This movie is one of the most awful I've ever seen. Not only is the dialogue awful, it never ends. You'll think it's ending, but it's not. How long is it, 140, 160 minutes? I don't even know. I do know that I'll never watch it again. It's like someone took a romantic comedy, took out the comedy, then decided to downpla...
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train_4192
0pending
252ab663-b7cb-4449-a45c-5f3664f162c9
A film as bad as this should be withdrawn from all stores world wide. So full of boring, dull, unimaginative characters, and with a lead character with such an annoying attitude and dry voice constantly giving a thoughtless voice over for every action and feeling, this film holds the record for the most challenging fil...
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train_4193
0pending
8a19421f-f36b-4a73-82e8-ab2daeb4fb81
Absolutely nothing happens in this sloooow, annoying, thrill-less thriller directed by Amenabar's usual collaborator Mateo Gil. The film, which in some way deals with the effect of boredom and the quest for thrills, actually delivers none, and seems like an exercise in boredom. The only mildly suspenseful moment is the...
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train_4194
0pending
317c5d9a-8b1d-4b42-a3ea-e6b4289a1be1
Holy crap! What a terrible, terrible Spanish thriller! I've had it for about four years and finally started it the other night. I watched an hour or so before heading to bed. I was pretty intrigued by the whole thing. I finished it last night and couldn't believe where I stopped it the night before. Literally, I stoppe...
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train_4195
0pending
57dd1043-84e4-4bad-a480-17ed39dd0a3d
'Nobody knows anybody' is a conspiracy theory thriller about a Satanist/nut bomber targeting the religious festivities of Seville during Holy Week. He also happens to be the best friend of the film's hero. The plot is set up by the bomber as a computer game, with himself and the hero as players, and Seville as the virt...
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train_4196
0pending
ff238384-55a3-4fd8-b80e-7c3fc6d33b2e
Although the beginning suggests All Quiet on the Western Front, this silly and superficial version of war falls far astray of its much better contemporary. This depicts the funnest war ever fought, with the first hour and a half devoted to romance and good times.<br /><br />When we finally see some battle, it is lame: ...
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train_4197
0pending
6c11f9fe-a9e2-4d4f-be58-98c1edd39a16
Motocrossed was fun, but it wasn't that great. I guess I just didn't understand a lot of the Motocross racing "lingo" (and there was A LOT of that in the film)! The plot wasn't what I expected from the Disney Channel previews, so that could account for some of my disappointment.
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train_4198
0pending
d1db3083-8bb2-48ad-854c-3c6037f4c16e
Some fraud girl tries to compete in the big leagues of motorcross by swiching places with her brother. She gets to the top by lying and manipulation. She should have been disqualified. The movie promotes lying and cheating to win. also the idea of a 9 yr old mechanic is absurd. it takes many many years to get good. Go ...
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train_4199
0pending
35af9eec-bf9b-4fc5-ac6d-2aa636107b51
Absolutely horrific film. Ameteurish and it isn't funny at all. Lead character played by Mehmet Ali Erbil is very annoying. Edits by E.T and star wars is just plain stupid.<br /><br />Actor Yilmaz Goksal is the only good think about this movie. He should master his English and move to Hollywood. Hollywood can not find ...
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