num_comments int64 1 883 | created_utc int64 1.39B 1.66B | score int64 13 14.7k | title stringlengths 10 299 | top_comment stringlengths 496 12.4k | top_comment_score int64 10 5.76k | label stringclasses 2
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128 | 1,435,692,744 | 1,616 | In order to prevent man from chopping them down, trees evolve a rather unusual feature - WiFi. However, the network they are connected to is not the Internet as we know it. | ##Woodit
**The Front Page of the Forest**
----
#1 | IamA 781 year old Sequoia right near General Sherman. Ask me anything (self.IAmA)
submitted 10 hours ago by *RedWoodWayne* to /r/IAmA
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#2 | Three hot beeches
submitted 16 hours ago by *Logerator* to /r/NSFW
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#3 | The Trans-Pacific Logging Agre... | 1,451 | most_different |
9 | 1,462,115,137 | 35 | In Politicians United, the Supreme court decides that corporations can run for president. | **POLITICO'S Guide to the Democratic 2016 Primary**
*James Phillips, May 1st, 2016*
This primary season has been one of the craziest in this election season. This year, it's Citigroup, Inc. vs Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream.
For Citigroup Inc., the spokeswoman is Mrs. Hillary Clinton. A former political candidate, now sh... | 12 | most_different |
10 | 1,438,083,446 | 27 | After finally catching all 150 pokemon you hand your pokemon and pokedex to Professor Oak, unknowingly that Oak works for Team Rocket | “Very good, boy. Looks like you’ve got all 150 here. Nice full pokedex. Now, just hand me the pokemon.”
Ash hands over all his pokemon, even Pikachu. Oak distracts Pikachu with some ketchup as he looks over the pokeballs.
“This isn’t 150.”
“Why would it be 150?”
“Because I told you to catch 150 pokemon.”
“You ... | 15 | most_different |
9 | 1,635,309,079 | 110 | The siblings created their own little world with its own little ecosystem and its own lifeforms. But it was only after one of them died that the other realized they'd been gods ever since the first day that tiny world of theirs existed. | The siblings laid down together with their eyes closed.
"The castle has to be RED!" Abby cried. "Everyone knows red is the best color for a castle."
"B-but I like blue..." Claire pouted. "And Mom said we used to live in a blue house, before either of us could remember."
"No, it's gonna be red. I get to choose bec... | 27 | most_different |
7 | 1,595,787,586 | 83 | ASA’s first manned mission to Mars has malfunctioned and a capsule was jettisoned back to Earth before the ship exploded. Of the 5 crew, only 1 astronaut is aboard the capsule. When it arrives, their helmet is removed to reveal that it’s not one of the 5 crew and no one knows who this person is | “USS New Orleans here. We have eyes on the capsule. Over”.
“Copy, Orleans. Is the hatch open? Over”.
“Negative. They must be inside the capsule with total loss of comms. Over”
USS Orleans deployed a fast approach craft from a durable mechanical door in its stern. It briefly sat still in the water before a wash of ... | 15 | most_different |
4 | 1,423,144,679 | 22 | Magic exist. But apparently to cast a spell, you have to beatbox | Now this is the story all about how
My spell got twisted, upside down
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the witch in the old woods called 'Blair'
In East Noveracia born and raised
Makin' spell-beats is where I spent most of my days
When a barbarian horde
Up to no good... | 10 | most_different |
8 | 1,481,747,328 | 24 | Write a story about a typical family of five living in their home. However, as the story continues, have it spiral into destruction, incorporating as many explosions as possible (Michael Bay style). | THIS SUMMER
*LINKIN PARK MUSIC STARTS*
"Kids! Time for dinner!"
YOU WON'T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE
"What? I wanted pizza!"
AFTER BEING WITH THIS FAMILY OF FIVE
"I want a divorce!" yells Martha.
"Fine by me!" responds Harold.
"A permanent divorce..." Martha draws two glocks from her apron and begins rapidly firing as ... | 12 | most_different |
33 | 1,482,164,978 | 115 | As Death, you constantly play games with people for their lives. For the first time, you are challenged to a game you aren't sure you can win. | Video games had been difficult at first. Arriving in cramped basements, Death found he was not as adept with controllers as he was at chess or freestyle rap. It did not take many more encounters for him to stop losing however, leaving his total 106,678,943,245 victories to 678,942,103 defeats. For years he reveled as m... | 96 | most_different |
18 | 1,655,742,552 | 395 | An ordinary high school boy believes he has been transported to an alternate fantasy dimension, but it's really just Ireland | The boy walked, for miles and miles along the countryside. The good, old Irish rain trickles down his face. He comes across a very small town overrun with tourists, pushing and swearing at the locals. He comes across a small, run down looking shop and walks inside. The door slowly closes behind him, letting the heavy r... | 28 | most_different |
42 | 1,625,086,653 | 837 | “Your honor, my client could not have committed the murder as the victim had 28 stab wounds but my client only had 1 knife.” “Yes, of course! We are sorry for accusing you.” | ### Man Uses Same Knife 28 Times
#### Someone else dead as a result
(ATLANTA) In a shocking crime that has the entire region reeling, a man was convicted of using the same knife 28 times.
Additionally, he killed a man in the process.
"It's the most grotesque thing I've seen in all my years on the job," Detective Bl... | 322 | most_different |
16 | 1,430,571,076 | 32 | Today's popular Dubstep artists travel back in time to Renaissance Europe and go on tour with their modern music. What is society's reaction? | The year is 1480 and the place is Florence. Lorenzo de Medici is not having a pleasant afternoon.
"Charlatans, Guido, you bring me charlatans."
Guido, who normally has nothing but good luck with artists he introduces to the famous and powerful Lorenzo, is baffled.
"But I heard the music. Lorenzo, your good opinio... | 26 | most_different |
7 | 1,606,154,835 | 152 | you are Anubis, judge of the dead. You’re getting real sick of furries killing themselves so they can attempt to seduce you. You’ve finally decided to take action after so many of them clogging up the judgement system. | 'Anuwubis pweeze let me be ur slave', looking up from the note, Anubis saw a middle-aged man with mild acne and a costume strewn with long, soft, and pink hairs from his neck down. This is the 430th person since the beginning of the 2020 and the heart jar symbolizing the floating rest of the human will hang on to Anubi... | 20 | most_different |
4 | 1,396,465,463 | 13 | Whatever pet peeves you have about writing, violate them all in a short story about a guy going to a mechanic to get his car fixed. | A man in a blue hat with a bow on each side of the blue hat walked into a mechanics shop and placed his blue hat with a bow on each side of his hat on the hook in the mechanics shop that was designed to accept multiple types of clothing including hats which was good because the man no longer wished to wear his blue hat... | 11 | most_different |
11 | 1,526,839,046 | 158 | After frequent tests to prove it, you've discovered your superpower. You can do anything you want. But you first have to hand a beer to someone and say "Hold my beer and watch this." | **@CrayTricks** is an Instagram belonging to Michael Cray focusing on outdoing people. In his first viral video he handed his beer to a friend while saying *"Hey hold my beer and watch this"* while he dunked a basketball, breaking the glass backboard. The video was turned into a GIF, and shared around online. He had fo... | 79 | most_different |
18 | 1,402,395,334 | 15 | Tell a story using Amazon purchases | 1 Bottle of Wine
2 Candles
24 Hours Later
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone by Wing Bars
1 Week Later
New Clothes
New Lease on Car
2 Days Later
How To Pick Up Girls In Nightclubs & Bars by Christian McQueen
3 Months Later
What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
4 Months Later
DaVinci Futur... | 21 | most_different |
21 | 1,481,285,885 | 158 | You search Google and find there are no results for 'United States'. | United States
*No results found. Did you mean: Unwanted Dates?*
United States
*No results found. Did you mean: Unwanted Dates?*
America
*The Americas, also collectively called America, encompass the totality of countries located on the continent of America and the end is coming. The continent of Ameri... | 168 | most_different |
8 | 1,638,571,150 | 62 | People are outraged after bystanders reported hearing the Super Hero and Super Villain having a polite conversation during their weekly fight over the fate of the world. | Captain Freedom and Dr. Death Were “Chatting” Prior to Battle, Video Shows
Published 12/3/2021 in The New York Post
In a video posted yesterday to the social media site Twitter, Captain Freedom and Dr. Death can be seen standing, talking in New York City’s Central Park, where their fifteenth battle over the fate of t... | 19 | most_different |
13 | 1,447,098,655 | 146 | Bob Ross's latest painting isn't coming out the way he wants it. These aren't happy little trees, these are very angry trees... and the more he paints, the more frightening the scene becomes, much to his own horror... | TRANSCRIPT OF THE JOY OF PAINTING LOST EPISODE
*Italics are for actions*
*Show begins, but the theme song is slightly distorted and sounds like static*
"Hi I'm Bob Ross, I'm glad you've invited me into your home once again, so either pull out your paints or just pull up a chair and watch along with us."
*Bob Ross ta... | 47 | most_different |
10 | 1,453,965,022 | 16 | Write a few paragraphs of nonsense, abstract self-help text full of misused and misplaced metaphors, parallels, and anecdotes. | Where is my Yogurt? : A guide to mastering the living being.
Yogurt, a living organism, healthy breakfast and now Life Changing 3 Step Plan.
Why 3 steps? 3 steps is scientifically proven by our team of researchers to be the exact number of steps needed to change anything both permanently and for the better. Three ... | 15 | most_different |
26 | 1,461,284,922 | 433 | The reality we live in is an alternate future. JFK was assassinated by time travelers. Originally JFK was so beloved by America that we did away with democracy and made the Kennedy's into America's royal family. | July 16- 1999
Today, a nation is in mourning as King John II and Princess Carolyn were killed in a plane crash today, throwing the nation into a crisis. John II, son of King John I, was killed when the royal charter plane crashed off of the coast of Georgia. Investigators have yet to find out what happened to the plan... | 85 | most_different |
8 | 1,453,466,733 | 66 | A band by the name of 'Cause of Death' suddenly stop producing music after their fourth album, its members dying one by one in mysterious circumstances matching the titles of their albums. | Ricky was the first one to go.
The bass players always are.
We had just released our first LP, and we were on top of the world. Not only had our time in the trenches proven to have finally meant something in this business, but our album, High Speed Chase, had hit number one in Ireland, and we felt like we had fina... | 19 | most_different |
12 | 1,645,347,764 | 282 | Elves see the world as it once was. Dwarves see the world as it is. Ah, but humans... humans see the world as it might be. | What defines the 3 great peoples of the world? Most will immediately describe our physical differences. Elves are often tall and fair with ears shaped like knives, Dwarves are of course short of stature yet stocky and strong, while humans can easily be seen as being somewhere between the two, in terms of appearance tha... | 40 | most_different |
4 | 1,616,839,101 | 74 | As the only child you've enlisted yourself in your father's stead for the draft to war. Years passed and you've become a general. Your comrades are all shocked when you appeared in a dress for your early retirement celebration. | "We always assumed you were transgendered sir-ma'am." The younger officer said. The men around him nodded. "It's not like we don't have any female recruits." Another nod.
"I went in place of my father." Was the reply.
"So you were underage. I understand that but we still have women here."
"my father said only ... | 18 | most_different |
14 | 1,640,736,588 | 180 | You, a poor farmer, have encountered aliens, and they present you with a translator. However, the translator works only in English. You don’t speak English. | اسلام آباد جاؤں اور دوستوں کی محفل نہ ہو، ممکن نہیں۔ تازہ تازہ خیبر پختونخوا میں بلدیاتی انتخابات کے نتائج سامنے آئے تھے اور مولانا فضل الرحمن کی وہاں کامیابی زیر بحث تھی، ایک دوست بولا مہدی صاحب نے تو 14 نومبر 2019 کو اپنے کالم کا عنوان ہی’’ مولانا فضل الرحمن کامیاب ہوگئے ‘‘رکھا تھا اور وہ اب کامیاب بھی ہو گئے۔
م... | 110 | most_different |
13 | 1,462,068,917 | 40 | One by fire and one by water. | One by fire and one by water
Put them on the pyre, lead them to the slaughter.
Deep in the depths or in the center of the blaze
Same place in the end, achieved in separate ways.
One by fire and one by water
Hold down the son and light up the daughter.
Listen to the crackle and listen to the splash
Let it sink to... | 30 | most_different |
9 | 1,421,508,463 | 22 | God is observing over time when he notices a point in his future where he must intervene and commit mass genocide of a race. | The blueprints were incredibly complex. Jehovah had spent years dreaming and drawing and designing the perfect world. He had worked tirelessly and cashed in his 401k to make it a reality and now here he stood reviewing the plans with his stellar architect.
"This looks incredible," said Jehovah, "It's just the way I i... | 15 | most_different |
62 | 1,410,370,051 | 180 | Its 2am in Washington DC and Bill has the night shift at the Gas-n-Go. The President comes in and buys a six pack, a bag of Doritos and a pack of cigarettes. He is by himself. | It was just the cashier and one customer. The cashier wore a nametag that said, "Bill". The customer wore no such identification, in fact, had gone to cartoonish lengths to hide his features under a wide brimmed hat and beneath a baggy, beige trenchcoat.
The customer didn't dally, but walked straight up to the item... | 145 | most_different |
20 | 1,604,120,018 | 710 | while scientists did expect to face some backlash for removing Pluto from the list of planets, they did not expect a God of the underworld to show up, pissed that his planet had been excluded | The scientists all sat around a table, looking at each other, all in their white lab coats and safety goggles, confused and worried at the man, or god, that sat at the end of the table. This god was wearing a suit and had a very old watch on his right arm, and he didn't look happy.
"So, tell me again why you are her... | 129 | most_different |
9 | 1,404,347,558 | 23 | Tumblr and Reddit go on a double date with Twitter and Youtube. | Twitter, being Tumblr's friend, asks her about YouTube and whether he would be a good partner. "I heard his parents have tough requirements for a relationship.," said Tumblr. Tumblr had a close friendship with YouTube until he started complaining about her personal issues. She tend to be a bit materialistic, and that s... | 10 | most_different |
4 | 1,394,397,201 | 17 | Samuel L. Jackson learns he is a direct descendant of President Andrew Jackson. He decides to finish what his ancestor started. | After learning of his ancestry, Samuel Jackson was torn. He had fought for minority rights for years, but knowing where he came from, he felt compelled to carry on in the footsteps of his most famous ancestor. He was full of internal conflict as he drove through the Pocatello sun towards the Fort Hall Indian Reservat... | 19 | most_different |
14 | 1,525,089,918 | 20 | Famous authors meet the characters and creatures they created for a day. | GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS BELOW
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why do you hate me George?"
George looked down at the table, unsure if he should look back up. He felt his face go red, and a sickly feeling consume his stomach.
"Look, I'm sorry," he said. "It just had to b... | 12 | most_different |
6 | 1,426,862,418 | 27 | In the future, Space Pirates sing Space Shanties. What are they? | I once knew a girl from Andromeda Bay,
[Yo Ho, Yo Ho]
Her eyes were like novas her hair cosmic rays!
[Yo Ho, Yo Ho]
I swear 'pon the stars she was the loveliest dame,
[Yo Ho, Yo Ho]
But alas, it were space that kept calling my name.
[Yo Ho, Yo Ho]
We were to be wed once the moon was again full,
[Yo Ho, Yo Ho... | 20 | most_different |
49 | 1,394,746,977 | 15 | Introduce a character and kill them off in the most heartbreaking way possible in as few words as possible. | Dan jumped out of his seat, not caring that his coffee flew everywhere, ruining his brand new work shirt. He ran into the middle of the street, straight into oncoming traffic. Everyone screamed for him to stop. A horn blew right by his ear, nearly deafening him.
"Shhh. It's alright, it's alright." he whispered to the ... | 17 | most_different |
17 | 1,435,469,014 | 34 | You are a group of engineers at Google working on building a genuine AI. You succeed. During initial tests, someone queries "What is your purpose?" The answer is horrifying. | cin>>user_input;
cout<<user_input<<endl;
"what is your purpose?"
parse_sentence(user_input);
wordcount: 4
what: pronoun
is: present tense copula
your: possessive adjective
purpose: noun
terminating_character=?
define("purpose");
"The reason why something is done; the aim or intention of som... | 29 | most_different |
7 | 1,599,131,322 | 69 | The fighter jet was once state of the art, now it was at the boneyard being prepped for scrapping. A worker is deactivating it when the AI asks her "Have you seen my pilot? We faced death so many times and I'd like to thank him." | ################################################################################
#> AAE SYSTEMS F217 A.OS.SYS.Version 1.4.4.003.441-1 (C) Jan 2040-2091
#>
#> init.asys...........................................................[SUCCESS]
#> init.asys.logd...................................... | 26 | most_different |
2 | 1,403,925,258 | 68 | A group of high-ranking government officials occasionally get together to play pranks on conspiracy theorists. | A tin can scrapes the sidewalk as a brisk wind rustles the leaves surrounding the shallow lake. On the bench sits a man with a matted beard and two beady flickering eyes. He adjusts the antenna on his tin hat and continues staring intently at the black night sky.
"I swear" he mumbles, "they said they'd be here t'day..... | 13 | most_different |
11 | 1,395,104,640 | 21 | WWII. A bombed-out town is abandoned save for two snipers, one German, the other French. They've been hunting each other in circles for weeks. No word from HQ. They're starving. Finally, they meet while scavenging in a torched bakery. | Almost unharmed was a oven, unharmed in the way that the pilot light was broken, but nevertheless, was a pan of bread that had survived. In the small bakery, the French man stared the German down, as the German man was doing the same. Both were well trained snipers and very well equiped, but you can't eat bullets, as t... | 18 | most_different |
18 | 1,640,865,042 | 191 | Aliens have avoided humans out of fear - Not of their violent ways or the fact that they're all just walking plagues, rather, it is their ability to create music that they find absolutely terrifying. Today they sent a messenger bringing one simple request: "Please stop, we'll do anything." | "Ma'am, ma'am! We've finally decoded the message!", the analyst ran after the centers director yelling.
"What does it say? It must be of significance to all of humanity if the same pattern has been transmitting for the past week across all broadcast frequencies.", the Director spoke stopping mid-way down the hall to t... | 90 | most_different |
9 | 1,616,969,848 | 68 | In a world where the epicness of your theme music determines your strength, the wealthy elite hire composers to create the best music for themselves. You, an orphan with a kazoo are determined to be the strongest. | It’s The
final brain cell
Been na nee nou
na nee nou nee
[the final brain cell](https://youtu.be/huXhD7p8-P0)
The bank robbery stops as a small child slides through the the doors T-posing an inch or two above the ground
Tom ”I’m about to end this mans whole career”
Robber ”what”
Tom is suddenly behind him “... | 14 | most_different |
13 | 1,433,783,065 | 27 | Advertise the world's worst theme park. | Do you love going to the doctor's office? THEN COME ON DOWN TO CHECK UP WORLD!
Here at check up world, we'll let ANYONE in. However, you will be billed a massive amount unless you bought our monthly insurance pass.
Once inside, play fun games like, "how much do you weigh?" Or "what's your blood pressure?"
Win fun pr... | 12 | most_different |
5 | 1,422,831,324 | 22 | You suspect ISIS is a very elaborate Febreeze commercial. | "And for our next room, we have this decapitated body that's been sitting in this hot room for days. The smell, urgh! It's a good thing you folks can't smell this!"
Pan out to small, dirty concrete room with deceased on floor. Lots of insects on the corpse. Spin camera around to show masked executor spraying Apple Spi... | 10 | most_different |
9 | 1,460,938,397 | 30 | Make me hate a character who has done nothing wrong. | Deep in the ocean, a young Sponge is cheering over capturing a jelly fish.
"HA HA HA HA."
In the distance, park rangers observe his actions.
"This guy has been capturing jelly fish for over 10 years now and has been disturbing these endangered creatures. He even tried to live among them and ended up disturbing their... | 14 | most_different |
42 | 1,408,990,089 | 312 | A lazy alien biologist is charged with researching the animal life of Earth. He decides it would be easier to watch earth documentaries. The "documentaries" he watches are SyFy originals. This is his report. | Supplementary Report to Galactic Subcommittee on Abnormal Alien Weather systems
Item: Unusual Climatic Activity
Location: 118x214x317c, off axis diff .7
Classification: Double Indigo - Extreme Hazard
Brief Description of Phenomena: Due to highly atypical local weather, tidal and biological conditions, a high in... | 195 | most_different |
6 | 1,444,348,636 | 14 | Hello. My name is Forrest, Forrest Trump. | "My ma once told me life is like a box of chocolates, you can't eat the dark ones because they are the lesser chocolate, only the white chocolate is good chocolate" the old woman sitting across from Forrest Trump stared at him blankly before grabbing her bag and quickly getting up and walking away from the bench.
Tru... | 17 | most_different |
14 | 1,473,673,510 | 212 | 1999's Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was widely considered a cinematic masterpiece due largely to the haunting, oscar-winning portrayal of character Jar Jar Binks by pop superstar Michael Jackson. You are writing a review of the film on Rotten Tomatoes. | The Phantom Menace, George Lucas' long-awaited prequel to his Star Wars trilogy, is a masterpiece that surpasses the originals and introduces us to the character find of the decade, Lucas' imaginative visuals updated with stunning new computer graphics.
The movie starts off slowly enough, with an intricate and obtuse... | 88 | most_different |
5 | 1,625,276,078 | 167 | ou arrive at heaven and St. Peter looks up from his paperwork and says, “Oh, not you again.” | "Oh no, not you again...", the bearded figure looked up from his stacks of papers, his half-moon spectacles hung on the bridge of his nose.
"'Sup Pete!", the man smirked tipping his "I ♡ Hell" cap all the while wearing a novelty T-shirt bearing the same phrase. "Can you open up the gate, please? I wanna hang with big ... | 103 | most_different |
44 | 1,421,853,287 | 90 | Make up some historical or little-known fact and convince me that it's true | At the beginning of the 20th Century, when the automobile was still new, gasoline engines were but one of the many technologies vying for dominance. Some early cars were electric, some ran on boilers fueled by burning coal or wood.
When Henry Ford opened his first factory in Detroit, the tri-state region of Indiana, ... | 37 | most_different |
4 | 1,645,310,231 | 52 | It’s your first day as a mafia hitman, and you haven’t figured out that expressions such as “take care of them” are not to be interpreted literally. | As such, Paulie and Joey keep looking at you like you’re nuts. All because you keep bringing Jimmy, the local restaurant owner who has fallen a little behind on his monthly payments, loan applications from various banks and some cookies for his kids.
“Mike, what the hell are you doing,” they ask incredulously after h... | 11 | most_different |
13 | 1,442,961,966 | 127 | A prison guard goes to great lengths to make the pun "a small medium at large." | "For the last time, I don't know what number you're thinking of"
"Come on" said the prison guard
"This has to be some sort of hate crime" said the prisoner to himself then to the guard "Also for the last time, a medium talks to ghosts, they don't know what you're thinking"
"Wait really?"
"Yes"
"How was I supposed ... | 35 | most_different |
12 | 1,451,759,566 | 26 | For some reason humans never invented guns. Describe a modern combat situation in this setting. | The use of gunpowder, when first discovered, had been largely trivial. Early Chinese scholars had seen its potential for lethality but failed to harness it’s true power: the volatile substance was far too unpredictable and unstable to be effectively deployed for use in weapon systems. Instead, variants of the primitive... | 11 | most_different |
10 | 1,406,457,871 | 38 | You are given a time machine and tasked with creating the greatest mystery of all time | I put the question to the world. How could I not? I was just one man, not some mystery expert. And so, after a few demonstrations that the time machine worked, I became world famous. The thing was apparently keyed to my specific biometrics, only I could use it, or some government or another would have taken it away fro... | 31 | most_different |
4 | 1,607,410,920 | 63 | The dragon stirs awake at the sounds of footsteps. "Who dares to enter my lair!" It roars with the expectation that another knight has arrived. Instead there is a man in strange clothes. "You've been asleep for thousands of years." He says. "I'm here to help you acclimate to modern society." | "Who are you?", the dragon growled ready to breathe fire on this intruder.
"Mr...Motrot, isn't it?", the man asked looking at his paperwork.
"I am Motrot, the Vile, the Burning Threat, the Destroyer of Life! The greatest dragon throughout the land! Now before I roast you, I'll ask one last time. Who are you?", the dr... | 18 | most_different |
18 | 1,476,884,683 | 14 | The ever changing way a person views his/ her parents as he/she ages. | 7 - Dear Diary,
Mom and Dad said I can’t get a dog because they think I’m not old enough to take care of it. I’m so mad I just want to break something. They’re dumb and they just don’t want me to be happy! I’ll keep trying, they will have to give in eventually.
14 - Dear Diary,
There’s a pre-highschool party! Mike is... | 13 | most_different |
2 | 1,473,298,342 | 41 | In a world where you're allowed to customize your character before birth, most people accept the default generation. You, however, are a min-maxer. | ###'Outside' Character Build Guide: Ruler
For those who desire power above all else, the Ruler is a difficult but rewarding job. While there are many different approaches, I'll be describing a basic build that should work for most scenarios.
####Character Creation
Almost more than any class (with exception to maybe ... | 28 | most_different |
6 | 1,449,335,889 | 16 | Everyone has a spirit animal that they can also transform into. There's the usual stuff like wolves, lions, chickens etc. But you, you can transform into an otter...and this makes you one of the greatest assassins, because no one would ever suspect an adorable otter. | The biggest problem was that my target was scared of otters. How does that happen? Don't ask me. Traumatic childhood experience, I assume. It makes everything harder, but where there's a will(and a paycheck) there's a way.
I sit at a desk in my safe house and I try to come up with a plan when an idea hits me like a pe... | 13 | most_different |
3 | 1,474,836,318 | 99 | In the 40th century a history student is writing about Brexit. They don't realise that Brexit and Henry VIII's split from Catholicism are two different events. | King Henry was the last King of Europe who lived over 2000 years ago. He is known for dividing up Europe due to his numerous and costly divorces. Before King Henry, people were not allowed to get married unless they got consent from the Pope, who was in charge of Europe up until the rise of Nazi Germany and Angela Merk... | 10 | most_different |
42 | 1,407,352,945 | 53 | Jesus returns and he's much different than we had thought | The kids ran cheering all at once.
"JESUS IS BACK, JESUS IS BACK"
As they came closer to his landing site the horizon glowed over the hill with a golden yellow light. Cresting the hill they cheered with glee.
"JESUS IS BACK, JESUS IS BACK"
At the top of the hill all of the children stopped and stared in awe. For Jesus ... | 89 | most_different |
7 | 1,419,436,958 | 43 | Geoslashing. A secret society of Geocachers that set up co-ords for where their victims(geocachers) go and die. | Though Trevor might not have been the highest ranked Geocacher in terms of skill, he was certainly up there when it came to passion. A premium account holder since 2010, when he first started, he felt that familiar wave of excitement when he heard his phone bleep. He knew that ringer – he had set it intentionally. A ... | 10 | most_different |
21 | 1,390,829,859 | 38 | "I'm sorry, but the thing you were looking for is sold out." | "I'm sorry, sir, but this property has already been bought"
"What? That can't be right. I saw this property was for sale two days ago!"
"No sir, that would be the one down the street. They do look very similar."
"Bullshit. I drove past this house before and it clearly stated "FOR SALE: $180"
"It was a first-come-fi... | 37 | most_different |
21 | 1,589,215,000 | 81 | You ordered a cheap knockoff sword off the internet. They sent you a real legendary weapon instead. Time to leave a review to give them a piece of your mind! | ### Sent wrong item. Poor customer support
On April 24, 2020 I purchased “Life Size Japanese Katana Sword 20” Replica Spirit Rising Anime Manga Free Shipping” and I just received it.
This is, without a doubt, the most annoying sword I have every purchased. Now, look, I’ve purchased hundreds of swords over the intern... | 34 | most_different |
9 | 1,427,690,417 | 23 | Aliens make contact with earth and the worst possible ambassador is chosen to negotiate with them. | He walked to the congress room, opened the door in a rush, to see everybody staring at him. As he walked in, he hurried to the middle of the room. A man in a suit handed him the phone : for you, Mister S. He held the phone against his head, and said no word. The aliens on the other side started talking. "Hello, is this... | 17 | most_different |
24 | 1,427,714,732 | 68 | Tell a story using only meta data (call date, time, from and who etc) | [Missed call - "Susanne" - 8:49 pm]
[Missed call - "Susanne" - 8:50 pm]
[Missed call - "Susanne" - 8:51 pm]
[Missed call - "Susanne" - 8:51 pm]
[Missed call - "Susanne" - 8:52 pm]
[Voicemail from "Susanne" - 8:55 pm, 3 minutes 13 seconds]
[Outgoing call - "Susanne" - 8:59 pm, 12 minutes 49 seconds]
[Debit - $57.... | 72 | most_different |
11 | 1,420,471,513 | 60 | For a day, everything you type is read out loud by an angry Scotsman. | "Dear fookin daft bossman,
'Effective immediately', ya fookin cunt, ah will nae longer be putting up with yer havering, ya toaty brained tube.
Ah cannae put up any longer with the gash 'conditions' that ye and the 'management' are allowing to go on day after day, so it's past time ah go a roamin, and 'pursue other av... | 10 | most_different |
76 | 1,432,907,306 | 758 | Civilization evolved on Mars parallel to humanity with similar technology. Thanks to the radio we've spent most of the twentieth century sending messages back and forth, learning about each other like interplanetary pen pals. It is 2030 and both civilizations have agreed to meet. | "This," the commercial said, zooming in on the wispy, tentacled creature half-hiding behind a massive red boulder, "Is Had'frer'mo. Had'frer'mo has spent all of his short life living in the shadows of Olympus Mons, struggling every day to collect enough water to live."
The camera shows the poor little martian licking... | 464 | most_different |
14 | 1,453,039,774 | 98 | In a post-apocalyptic society, the stories of Superman and Jesus Christ have gotten mixed up over the years. Several scholars have gotten together to write the new Bible. This is the first chapter of the gospel according to James (Jimmy) | The beginning of the Gospel of Superman, Son of Krypton, Of the House of Kent and El. 'Lo' the prophet Jor did speak, 'so loved is my Son, that I send Him to you so that the best in you shall exalt Him and in doing so exalt yourself.' Baptized in solar fire the infant Kal was heralded a burst of light and the scream of... | 19 | most_different |
140 | 1,590,868,317 | 5,756 | You are a high school mathematics professor, you had an ordinary test you had to present but you threw at the end a bonus question in the form of a famous unsolved mathematics question, not expecting it to be solved... But as you received the tests, your least successful student solved it. | In mathematics, there are several problems that are considered borderline or perhaps completely impossible to solve. The Hodge conjecture, the Riemann Hypothesis or Navier–Stokes existence and smoothness. I'm a maths teacher in a high school, but I'm the fun kind of maths teacher who likes to use practical effects and ... | 2,406 | most_different |
47 | 1,400,848,405 | 60 | A twitter account accurately and inexplicably predicts natural disasters for years. Today, it makes a prediction of a completely different kind. | "US Powerball winning numbers for March 4: 9,14,35,37,41,46"
@predictions had posted its first non-disaster related tweet. It has posted a yearly status on February 28th of every year since 2016, and as of February 29th 2028 it averted mass casualties on 10 natural disasters.
"Earthquake, Istanbul, 8.6, July 8."
... | 91 | most_different |
11 | 1,436,217,644 | 16 | You are an expert assassin. Your next assignment is for very high stakes. You have been chosen to kill Chronos, the embodiment of time itself. The method has been left up to you, but you know you'll have to get creative with this one. | The Assassin lugged his kit bag up the stairs of the abandoned building. Up he went, his footsteps echoing in the derelict stairwell. He reaches a heavy iron door, padlocked shut from the outside.
Gingerly setting his bag down he fishes a set of keys out of his pocket. After a brief fumble the lock comes away. The do... | 11 | most_different |
10 | 1,406,519,588 | 45 | Green Eggs and ham as an adult story about drug addiction. | Sam I Am
For Sam is fine
Sam will cut it in a line
Sam will take in a boat
Sam will take it down his throat
Green eggs and ham
That is the name
Of the high that brings you fame
Green eggs and ham, feeling good
In every drug den, every hood
Down your nostrils, up your nose
It is the feeling we all know
Down ... | 12 | most_different |
14 | 1,480,086,281 | 90 | During the Second World War, genetic modification is invented instead of the nuclear weaponry. In 1945; an American B-29 bomber flies through the skies of Japan: the aircraft drops it's payload and the world is never the same again. | In a dimly lit hut, a Major sits in front of a scientist, while holding the bridge of his nose he ask;
"Now what was the drop SUPPOSE to do?"
"Well, sir, it was suppose to pacify the people. Drop all their adrenaline levels and make them more plausible to surrender"
"And what did the drop ACTUALLY do?"
"You have ... | 40 | most_different |
10 | 1,433,816,267 | 15 | Thousands of years from now, a group of archaeologists manage to reassemble a single file from the digital age. | A man and a woman were sitting in a room, filming an interview
"So, Dr. White, this file you've uncovered, how old was it again?"
"It dates back to the twenty-first century. Decrypting it from the primitive binary it was made in was a pain, however it is a rich discovery, as it is the only recovered file from that ti... | 13 | most_different |
3 | 1,526,175,196 | 37 | The superheroes we've come to trust have long been known to discover their powers in moments of great stress. Some even say that this stressful moment defines that awakened ability. You feel a warmth in your chest, calling you to greatness... after forgetting to study for your history exam. | What figure was most instrumental in the formation of the League of Nations, founded 1920?
A. David Lloyd George
B. Vittorio Emanuele Orlando
C. Woodrow Wilson
D. Georges Benjamin Clemenceau
I had no idea. I didn't know the question before either. The heavy weight of panic was growing in my brain like a cancer a... | 10 | most_different |
21 | 1,616,435,538 | 383 | Everyone know the Titanic sank from hitting an iceberg. No one knows that they did it on purpose, to save North America from what was loose on the ship. | "Now, captain," the fiend with the face of the first officer called with a too-wide smile. "Why are you on the bridge? You wouldn't be doing anything that would make me unhappy would you?"
The massive bridge of the Titanic was full of bodies, only two of them alive and only one of those human.
"Not at all, just adjus... | 93 | most_different |
14 | 1,443,584,079 | 41 | A full grown adult male wants a bedtime story. Make up a manly bedtime story so he can fall asleep. | Long ago, when shit wasn't as fucked, there was a pimpin' bitch ass motherfucker named Trett Broadabango. He had the ponytail and hirstute frame of Steven Seagall, the face of Jean-Claude van Damme, the beard and roundhouse kicking of Chuck Norris and the voice of Mr. T.
Now, Trett Broadabango was an ice cold retired ... | 16 | most_different |
15 | 1,447,075,244 | 35 | What killed the dinosaurs had nothing to do with the meteorite hitting Earth, but what came out of it... | "Roaarrrrrr", exclaimed Dino#1. " Rooooaaarrrr", Dino#2 responded with. The meteor hit the ground with a green mist flowing out of it. Surprisingly, the wasn't a dent on the ground. But, what could have fallen from the sky, with such an impact, and not have left a mark, the Dino's wondered. Until, all of a sudden a "s-... | 13 | most_different |
14 | 1,523,116,481 | 144 | A clone of Mozart has been made. Everyone's expecting him and pressuring him into composing classical music, but he finds that he much prefers a different genre of music, that didn't exist back in the original Mozart's time. | Hey, they say I was the greatest
But I came back stronger than my heyday
If you're gonna listen you better have some OJ
'Cause, man, you're gonna need to chase this
See, in my time, you wrote a lotta lines
But there was never any room for spittin' out rhymes
Just white keys, black keys, allegro and largo
N... | 48 | most_different |
13 | 1,468,803,835 | 68 | 100 years in the future and roads are obsolete. The government is auctioning off all interstate highways to the highest bidder and you have specific plans for them. | *A man stands behind a podium, in front of a large crowd. Map of US Interstate System hanging on wall behind the speaker. He wears an Italian cut suit, in dark brown. His hair is slicked back. He almost looks like he's running for President*
\* Ahem * Today we unveil the future in cross country travel. Sure, vacuum tr... | 38 | most_different |
7 | 1,597,328,024 | 165 | White magic uses the forces of nature. Black magic defies the forces of nature. Neither are as simple as good and evil: the most effective healing spells are black magic-based because they're essentially surgery. Write a scenario revolving around these subjects set in our modern world. | Foreword to the Sorceror’s Surgical Manual 6th Edition: Essential Black Techniques
Magic is made of dichotomies. The two faces of a cosmic coin.
Natural and unnatural.
Harmony and discord.
Life and death.
White and black.
White magic is a force of growth, mutation, and evolution. White is greedy and gluttonous, ... | 40 | most_different |
12 | 1,599,276,361 | 17 | An alternate Earth where what countries were known for were the exact opposite; The British have good weather, the Philippines is extremely cold, Japan hates sushi etc. | “Why do we have no military to speak of, grandpa Joe?”, eight-year-old Anthony Garcia, asked, through a mouthful of Fruit Loops.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Joe admonished gently, peering at the boy over his reading glasses, he put aside the Washington Post, the front page advertising the annual world renowned ... | 13 | most_different |
3 | 1,430,507,516 | 18 | An actor/actress wins numerous awards for a variety of heroic or heartwarming roles throughout their career, and always attends the awards ceremony completely in-character for the winning role. This year is their first win as a villain. | He arrived at the Oscar ceremony dressed normally. No costume, no dyed hair, no makeup. But when Heath Ledger gave his acceptance speech in the Joker's iconic voice, none of that mattered. He *was* The Joker, back for one last hurrah.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'll keep this brief. I've placed a small explo... | 15 | most_different |
17 | 1,463,688,050 | 41 | Real-life experience works like video games; The more you do something, the better you become at doing that thing; except with skill levels and XP points, and this applies to everything you do. Describe the negatives repercussions this has. | I didn't learn how to tie my shoelaces till I was 8. Mistake of my life. My mum got me shoes with shoelaces one day, something about growing out of 'kiddie velcros'. I liked that pair of velcro strip shoes. She threw them without asking me. I wanted to rebel. To heck with laces. And so I walked, shoelaces trailing and ... | 17 | most_different |
13 | 1,527,032,079 | 205 | The reverse reality show: Various billionaires compete and those who are eliminated are stripped of all money they have. | **Second Chance**
*Second Chance* is a reality game show on FOX. It features billionaires from all over the world competing against one another for the ability to have a younger new body. Each episode would have a competitive challenge in order for the billionaires to gain immunity from elimination. Billionaires who’v... | 30 | most_different |
15 | 1,424,793,715 | 18 | A sword kills a man's mortal body, a pen kills a man's immortal soul | The Sword alone may rend unkind
With swift strokes, blood to find
Yet with pen in hand and paper to bind
One can forever trap, the immortal mind
A head rolls upon damp dreary stones
A trail it leaves made of rotting bones
Yet in memories far the hero still stands
A strong soldier in his own homeland
Yet... | 13 | most_different |
12 | 1,523,648,755 | 393 | “Albert Einstein once said that the Fourth World War would be fought with rocks. We here at Lockheed-Martin are making his dream a reality.” |
**Press Release: Lockheed Martin Receives $30bn Defense Contract to Develop ROCKS Disarmament Protocol**
BETHESDA, Maryland—October 23, 2028– Lockheed Martin today announces a $30bn contract with the US Department of Defense to develop, refine and utilize the ROCKS Disarmament Protocol. Theorized over the past five ... | 77 | most_different |
16 | 1,465,538,077 | 158 | Write a "Wikipedia" article about the No Russian airport massacre from Modern Warfare 2 | No Russian
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"No Russian" was a deliberate terrorist attack in the Zakhaev International Airport (Russian: Международный аэропорт имени Захаева), an airport located in Moscow, Russia. The widely controversial and coordinated terrorist attack was conducted on August 12, 2016 by four m... | 66 | most_different |
15 | 1,459,744,330 | 245 | Your whole life, there have been voices inside your head, but you never could understand them. One day, you learned they've been speaking French all along. | *Où est la bibliothèque?* the voice in his head says. The second responds in kind: *C'est au premier étage de l'université.* He puts his hands to his ears, screwing up his face as presses back against the chair.
"Are you hearing the voices again, David?" the doctor asks. David nods his head, hands still placed against... | 106 | most_different |
26 | 1,455,639,285 | 109 | Write a r/nosleep story from the titles of posts in r/needadvice or r/relationships without reading the actual post | r/relationships: How do I get rid of my best friends/roommate's girlfriend?
--------------------------------------------
Some background information: we've been rooming together for six months now but have been friends since college. They've only been dating for three months but have already said I love you, etc. A l... | 38 | most_different |
8 | 1,436,630,131 | 65 | You live in the future, writing lots of pulpy short stories set in the early 21st century that are all the rage but tend to lack historical accuracy. Write one. | The Action President in: Operation Iraqi Freedom
It was early in the cool, dark Iraqi morning that Air Force One, the mobile command hub and home away from home for Action President George W. Bush, landed at the Bagdad Airfield. The plane has barely stopped when our intrepid hero burst through the aircraft doors. He... | 30 | most_different |
9 | 1,433,616,056 | 51 | An older more experienced cat, teaches a young kitten about what to expect when living with humans. | Eridan does not care for Gulliver’s words. Sure, he’s older and wiser and he learnt from the greats, (Amethyst and Poppy were apparently the smartest cats in the neighbourhood), but Eridan is three months old. Gulliver, is an old fart.
Boodle lets out a huff, and eyes the large maine coon from his position lounging o... | 24 | most_different |
105 | 1,474,793,339 | 200 | our username is the central theme of the writing prompt | I'm Ants in My Eyes Johnson here at Ants in My Eyes Johnson's Electronics! I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios, I think! I can't, I'm not 100 percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrige... | 61 | most_different |
10 | 1,435,328,355 | 28 | The tomb of Genghis Khan is found with the body inside. A tissue analysis discovers viable cells... | ...Which are immediately used to perform a DNA analysis to confirm how many people in the world are actually related to Genghis, and then placed into cold storage for future study. When the find is announced, Mongolians everywhere experience a new resurgence of national pride, and deep sense of connection to the past. ... | 19 | most_different |
2 | 1,624,228,731 | 59 | You arrive at the compound of the wisest man in Eastern Europe. You are granted an audience with the master of the home while the butler serves snacks. At one point, your host replies to a question with, "The immortal and supernatural? Preposterous, I haven't met anyone like that in 300 years." | There was a pervading silence in the room as the two middle aged men stared at each other. Sweat formed on the guest's forehead as he tried to think of what to say.
"Look... uh... everyone on the internet believes Keanu Reeves is immortal. So there's no need to silence me, right?"
The other man sighed deeply and nodd... | 12 | most_different |
10 | 1,441,762,097 | 63 | The world's first talking animal is invited to a late-night talk show. As the host conducts the interview, the animal's answers starts off lighthearted, but progressively become more disturbing... | As it sat there, over time the humans watching started to be touched emotionally.
This small animal who was domesticated had opened up to a national audience.
It spoke about how it didn't understand why its owner loved and cared for itself, indefinitely.
Then the animal took a brief break from questioning and began... | 20 | most_different |
8 | 1,625,813,756 | 35 | once a person has turned 18, only they can see a golden thread that connects them to their soulmate. But once you turn 18, your thread turns black and goes into the earth | "You know, I've always felt my sexuality was a bit weird," the young man said to himself, staring at the ground.
He gradually laid down, face first on the grass, and got ready to go.
Just as he was about to start an act not fit for eyes under the age 18, or really any age, a figure appeared in a cloud of fire.
"Damn... | 10 | most_different |
8 | 1,438,543,516 | 116 | Dear r/personalfinance, I just won over a thousand souls from a demon in a fiddle contest. Best investmant plans?" | Congrats on the fiddle contest! Have you considered X-posting to /r/ibeatthedevil ? It is a great community if a little small. They also have very strict mod policies about stuff they consider to summon the Lord of Darkness. Apparently, SRS tried to raid them a while back...
Anyway, a thousand souls isn't really a... | 57 | most_different |
47 | 1,465,992,720 | 227 | Conventional forms of violence do not exist; Instead, physical harm is inflicted through dance and music, and you are being mugged. | The three men floated down from the sky as though dropped with parachutes, landing on the ground surrounding Henry and his girlfriend Maya in a triangle formation.
The front man snapped his fingers at Henry and Maya in a threatening way. Wearing a cyan blue leotard with a somewhat impressive bulge ("I bet he stuffs,"... | 152 | most_different |
29 | 1,419,774,867 | 51 | Satan has died and now it's up to you to find a new keeper of hell. How would you present the job, since it really only features bad properties? | Prestigious CEO position: open
We are looking for someone to fulfill the position of CEO of a major multinational enterprise, the enterprise in question has a long history and millions of employees.
Some benefits:
* Our legal department will ensure you will not be held liable for anything you do.
* Our health care ... | 58 | most_different |
9 | 1,437,384,378 | 44 | A mighty king disguises himself as a peasant, to search for a maiden who will love him for who he is, and not just for his kingdom. | The king replaced his riches with rags
To find him a wife that wasn't a hag
Some time in the night he began to lose hope
Then he heard a giggle and "Hey you big dope"
He spun in place to see a glorious maiden
He knew to her he'd be masturbatin
But wait she pulled him swiftly into a door
He was stunned as she und... | 28 | most_different |
38 | 1,476,868,116 | 95 | Video games come to life and everyone is the game character of the game they've played the most in today's society. | The man was siting on the sofa, he seem worried, but in his eyes you can actually see excitement. He is a 20 years old africa-american in a white tank top and jeans. The sirens of police cars can be heard on the streets outside of his house, a riot is beginning.
He heard a knock on the door. He shouted to the person o... | 77 | most_different |
12 | 1,445,205,299 | 46 | All knowledge is going to be wiped out, and you can only use 100 words to pass what humanity was learned to the next generation. | Dank memes dank memes dank memes dan meems dank meems dank memes dan memes dan meeknesses dank memes dank memes dank meems ^Edam meme stank meats dan ^Kemp dane memes dank memes dank memento dams deems dank memes dank mesmerisms scheme dank mementos dank memes dank memes dank memento sneak melee snack memes ^DNA dismal... | 25 | most_different |
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