questionID stringlengths 24 24 | questionTitle stringlengths 16 146 ⌀ | questionText stringlengths 26 2.7k ⌀ | questionUrl stringlengths 34 178 | topics stringlengths 5 71 ⌀ | therapistName stringlengths 7 64 | therapistUrl stringlengths 42 98 | answerText stringlengths 11 224k | upvotes int64 0 0 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
56613e430901991a77b20835 | My ex-boyfriend wouldn't let me have my daughter because I didn't know my stepdaughter's pick-up details. | I am constantly having problems with the same two people who will always be in my life. I had a daughter with my ex-boyfriend. I am now married, and my husband’s ex-girlfriend is involved with my ex-boyfriend. They also have a daughter together. My issue is that there is always drama. I am pregnant, and I told my ex-b... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-ex-boyfriend-wouldn-t-let-me-have-my-daughter-because-i-didn-t-know-my-stepdaughter-s-pick-up-details | Family Conflict,Relationships,Marriage | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi. I appreciate your mature instincts and strong efforts to draw clear boundaries in this very complex situation. I agree that it sounds like the adult drama is unnecessary and potentially will affect the children. Children need adults around them to act maturely, cooperatively and peacefully even when they do... | 0 |
5661253f0901991a77b20832 | I'm older and just experienced heartbreak. | After 25 years, I fell in love for the first time. The person acted for a week and left me without even saying goodbye. My heart is burning, and I can't take this pain. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-older-and-just-experienced-heartbreak | Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi, San Diego. I'm sad that this was your first experience (in 25 years) with feeling in love. You deserve better. My understanding of today's (western?) social cultural norms is that it is somehow acceptable to abruptly stop communicating with someone you've been seeing, without explanation. I don't get it. It... | 0 |
566084e30901991a77b20802 | I'm with someone, but I have unresolved feelings for my ex-boyfriend. | Every once and a while, I think about my ex-boyfriend from four years ago, and my current friend. It’s like I can't get past it, and I need some kind of closure. I keep thinking about how we had something, but it got cut off due to parental intervention. Nothing was ever wrong with it. Now we've become friends, but the... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-with-someone-but-i-have-unresolved-feelings-for-my-ex-boyfriend | Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>If you're in a relationship and you're having strong thoughts about someone else, it's important to pay attention to that. Although you say you're happy, I'd suggest looking really carefully at the relationship you have and whether you're getting everything you need. Is there a physical connection with your ex that ... | 0 |
565f1cc70901991a77b207ec | My husband and I can’t talk to each other without arguing. | Every time I speak, he says I anger him. Also, when he’s mad at something, like work, he gets angry at me. I feel like we’re so distant from each other now. We used to laugh all the time, and I feel like he lets too much negativity in. What should I do? We've been married for two years but together for seven. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-and-i-can-t-talk-to-each-other-without-arguing | Marriage,Anger Management | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi, Newark. It sounds to me like your husband is going through something, and I think you understand that. You might feel very helpless, sad, and disrespected at the same time. He's changed. </p><p>It's unfair for him to blame you for his emotions. His mood issues are about him, not you, and he's either not rec... | 0 |
5664becd0901991a77b20887 | How can I help my kids get along? | For the last year, my adolescent son and daughter have been driving me nuts with fighting. I'm at my wits end. How can I get them to stop and get along? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-my-kids-get-along | Parenting | Nat Roman | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | <p>That is a good question. Unfortunately there is no generic answer with this one. Kids fight for different reasons - wanting attention, wanting respect, feeling jealous, wanting space and to be left alone, or a whole bunch of other reasons. Regardless of the underlying motivations for fighting, most conflicts result ... | 0 |
5664cec20901991a77b2088e | I lie to my mom about my relationship. | I use to be so happy. No matter what, I always was happy. I got into a relationship with this guy. I love him so much. We’re both teenagers. The week after his birthday, my mom made me stop talking to him. It broke me. He came to my house and talked to her, and she let us date again but not see each other. He comes up ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-lie-to-my-mom-about-my-relationship | Relationships,Family Conflict | Kathryn Clapp | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kathryn-clapp | <p>I understand that this can be difficult when you care about someone. Have you had a discussion with your mom as to why she does not want you and this boy to see each other, and what her concerns are? It sounds as though you and your mom may be able to use some help with communicating, and compromising. It is underst... | 0 |
5664c2030901991a77b20889 | My husband seems to be changing, and I feel angry and hurt. | My husband took a job out of state for the next year and seems to be a different person. Before, he worked and slept, and on off days, he'd stay home because he didn't want to do anything else. Now he's going out with friends several nights a week while I'm still home working a 50 hours a week job and taking care of tw... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-seems-to-be-changing-and-i-feel-angry-and-hurt | Marriage | Kathryn Clapp | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kathryn-clapp | <p>It seems that you have been very disconnected from each other which naturally could contribute to symptoms of saddness and even depression. Obviously something has shifted which you do not understand. Therefore, perhaps you should consider attending Couples therapy to help work through your concerns and ... | 0 |
565d29bd0901991a77b207d5 | Is it normal for a pregnant woman to cry over everything? | I find myself crying over every little thing, like dropping a glass of water. Today, I got out of the shower and noticed that I had forgotten a shirt. I instantly started to cry. When I made it to my room, I began to shake a little, cry more, and I begged for it to stop. | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-for-a-pregnant-woman-to-cry-over-everything | null | Claudia Higgins | https://counselchat.com/therapists/claudia-higgins | <p>It is very typical for pregnant moms to feel completely emotionally and extremely teary eyed, so not to worry. Biologically speaking, your body generates an influx of hormones, that affects you neurotransmitters (chemical messages to the brain) that takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, but that's a good thing fo... | 0 |
566853241678044a13a77708 | What can I do to keep my relationship as good as it could be? | My long-distance girlfriend is in a sorority, and it's changing her. I feel like I'm becoming less important to her and it hurts. She just wants me to support the sorority, but it's so hard. I try every day to show her she's the most important thing to me, but she can't even stay relatively sober at a fraternity party ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-can-i-do-to-keep-my-relationship-as-good-as-it-could-be | Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>You may already be doing as much as possible for your relationship.</p><p>Each of you are 50% of the relationship.</p><p>Is the 50% which your GF contributes to your relationship, based on the same understanding of the couple's problem, as you have?</p><p>Maybe a good starting place for the two of you to talk about ... | 0 |
5667af6f1678044a13a77703 | My husband works all the time and neglects his family. | My husband always works. He does work from home, but his hours are from morning until night, and he neglects his family. If I have anything I want to do, I have to find a babysitter, but he does what he wants. He rarely comes to bed when I do, and we never have date nights. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-works-all-the-time-and-neglects-his-family | Marriage,Intimacy | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>I'm glad you're aware to expect more satisfaction from being part of a couple, than you currently describe yourself as having.</p><p>Are you and your husband able to talk about any or all of what you've written here?</p><p>His answers would be a starting point for knowing how he understands his share of your relatio... | 0 |
5667ae8b1678044a13a77701 | I always feel the need to tell people everything. | Whenever I don't tell my friends or anyone what I did or stuff that's not really important, I feel terrible, like there’s a hole in my stomach. It only goes away when I hurt myself. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-feel-the-need-to-tell-people-everything | Anxiety,Behavioral Change | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Sorry to hear of your situation.</p><p>Possibly you are overlooking that your own Self is someone worth talking to as well.</p><p>None of us are ever really alone because we are always with ourselves.</p><p>Self-talk is a major part of what guides our decisions and how we make sense of relationships and situations. ... | 0 |
5667af6f1678044a13a77703 | My husband works all the time and neglects his family. | My husband always works. He does work from home, but his hours are from morning until night, and he neglects his family. If I have anything I want to do, I have to find a babysitter, but he does what he wants. He rarely comes to bed when I do, and we never have date nights. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-works-all-the-time-and-neglects-his-family | Marriage,Intimacy | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Ohio, The crazy things about situations like this is that, almost guaranteed, while your husband is out working and away from home, he feels he's doing it all for you and the kids; he believes he's loving you. He might feel like he's carrying his family on his shoulders. Your 'love language' is different...you'd ... | 0 |
5667ae8b1678044a13a77701 | I always feel the need to tell people everything. | Whenever I don't tell my friends or anyone what I did or stuff that's not really important, I feel terrible, like there’s a hole in my stomach. It only goes away when I hurt myself. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-feel-the-need-to-tell-people-everything | Anxiety,Behavioral Change | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Kansas, I feel strongly that the help of a professional therapist is important here. Feelings are never wrong, but it can help to understand where they come from and talk to someone who can teach you healthy ways to cope. Self-harm is not the answer to managing those emotions you feel in your stomach. Although I'... | 0 |
5667b0d71678044a13a77704 | Can a mental breakdown last 10-15 minutes? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/can-a-mental-breakdown-last-10-15-minutes | Depression,Anxiety | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>I'm not quite sure what you're asking, because you don't define 'breakdown'. We all fall apart in little ways, and then we get to put ourselves back together however we want. Feelings come and go, and they pass through us more quickly if we have coping skills and healthy thought processes. If you're concerned about ... | 0 |
5667a4b11678044a13a776ff | I have the perfect guy, but I'm not attracted to him. | I'm in a long-distance relationship with my ideal man, but I'm not as attracted to him as I should be. Everything else is perfect about him, but I find myself lusting over more attractive men. The next step is marriage, but I want to marry someone who I can wake up to and fall in love with all over again. However, I al... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-the-perfect-guy-but-i-m-not-attracted-to-him | Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>The basic guideline for relationship satisfaction, is to know what you can and cannot live with and without. And, since you are considering marriage, for how long do you imagine yourself being satisfied living with and without certain qualities of your partner.</p><p>There is a hard wired dynamic between two p... | 0 |
56679fa51678044a13a776fb | What can I do when I can’t stand being alone? | I have no real friends. I have a girlfriend who irritates me but loves me to death. I push her away and pushes me away. We’re going through a breakup, and I have nobody. | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-can-i-do-when-i-can-t-stand-being-alone | Relationships,Depression | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <div>Having time all to yourself may be necessary so you have time to reflect on your own identity and values, become more clear on what matters most to you, and with this increased self-understanding, be able to attract people who will feel like satisfying friends.</div><div><br></div><div>Having a relationship with s... | 0 |
5667510b1678044a13a776f1 | How can I get some closure on an experience I regret? | Back in high school, my friend and I used to masturbate around each other. I hate even talking about it now because it's so weird. We didn't even realize how messed up it was at the time. One time, it escalated and we ended up doing it for each other. It wasn't supposed to be a gay thing, but it sure sounds like it now... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-some-closure-on-an-experience-i-regret | Human Sexuality,Social Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Writing about your high school masturbation times with your friend, is itself a form of acknowledging the full picture of who you are. </p><p>You are doing well to reflect on your actions in the truthful way you are doing.</p><p>Also positive is that you have perspective, that at your age and social matu... | 0 |
56610e0b0901991a77b2082b | I feel like I'm this dumb fat girl that no one likes, and everything is my fault. Are these normal teenage girl feelings? | Everyone around me is much smarter and flaunts it. Everyone around me is skinny, and here I am trying to throw up so I'm not fat. Everything I do is wrong, and I can't seem to do anything right! No one else at school seems to feel the way I do! Is this normal teenage girls feelings? I don't think these feelings are nor... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-like-i-m-this-dumb-fat-girl-that-no-one-likes-and-everything-is-my-fault-are-these-normal-teenage-girl-feelings | Self-esteem,Eating Disorders | Natalie Rosado, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/natalie-rosado-ma-lmhc | <p>There are some struggles that are less "obvious" than others, an eating disorder being one of them. From just your personal experience alone you might realize how easy it may seem to keep such a secret from those around you. In the same way, there are many people who struggle secretly with this problem and not many ... | 0 |
5667a4b11678044a13a776ff | I have the perfect guy, but I'm not attracted to him. | I'm in a long-distance relationship with my ideal man, but I'm not as attracted to him as I should be. Everything else is perfect about him, but I find myself lusting over more attractive men. The next step is marriage, but I want to marry someone who I can wake up to and fall in love with all over again. However, I al... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-the-perfect-guy-but-i-m-not-attracted-to-him | Relationships | Nat Roman | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | <p>Attraction is important but sometimes over-rated. I'm curious about your comment that you are not as attracted as you "should be" - What is your measuring stick is for what you are supposed to feel in terms of attraction in a relationship? Do you want to be sexually intimate? Do you enjoy having sex with him? Are yo... | 0 |
5665c9c20901991a77b208a9 | In the state of New York, is it legal for someone to record a counseling session without telling the counselor or the other person in the session? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/in-the-state-of-new-york-is-it-legal-for-someone-to-record-a-counseling-session-without-telling-the-counselor-or-the-other-person-in-the-session | Legal & Regulatory | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | <p>In New York (like most states), the law generally is what's called a "one-party consent" rule. This means that in most cases it is legal to record a conversation as long as consent has been granted by at least one person involved in the conversation.</p><p>It probably would not be illegal for a client to secretly re... | 0 |
56663d51f736762c333ec02f | I'm in high school, and I want to be a psychologist. | I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-in-high-school-and-i-want-to-be-a-psychologist | Career Counseling,Professional Ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | It's a great idea for you to reach out to find a psychologist to talk to if this is a field you might be interested in pursuing. <div><br></div><div>Regarding the length of schooling, it generally takes 4 years of college and an additional 4 to 7 years of graduate school to earn a doctorate degree to become a psyc... | 0 |
5668f62a8e6cb9fb4f71a445 | Should I get a new therapist? | I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-get-a-new-therapist | Professional Ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | <p>It can be really frustrating to feel like your counselor is not providing you with the help you need.</p><p>My recommendation in a situation like this would be to let your counselor know how you feel. Specifically tell Your counselor that you don't seem to be getting the amount of feedback you would like.</p><p>If t... | 0 |
566a400f9f3a71de09b3c101 | Is it appropriate to give my counselor a bottle of wine for Christmas? | I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him s... | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-appropriate-to-give-my-counselor-a-bottle-of-wine-for-christmas | Professional Ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | <p>This is a great question.</p><p> In general it is not appropriate for counselors to accept gifts from their clients. </p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">There are some exceptions to this general rule - including a recognition that there may be a valid cultural aspect to this type of gift g... | 0 |
566cdab09f3a71de09b3c15a | I think my wife is running from the pain of losing our first born. | My wife is trying to leave. She agreed to come back and give me a little time. Even said she hopes I can do it. We buried our first born in Jan 13 years ago. She never got past it. So every year around this time, she gets emotional and says she doesn't think she loves me, but then we go back to normal. This time, anot... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-think-my-wife-is-running-from-the-pain-of-losing-our-first-born | Marriage,Grief and Loss | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>I'm sorry that you lost your first born child. Death of a child always leaves a permanent reminder to the parents of a very painful time in their lives.</p><p>The good news is your awareness that you and your wife are not connected in a satisfying way.</p><p>There are many possible areas to examine in your rel... | 0 |
566b80b09f3a71de09b3c145 | How do I stop obsessively checking if my boyfriend is cheating? | My dad cheated on my mom for 13 years. I cannot stop obsessing over the fact that my boyfriend might be cheating on me even when I know he isn't. I have full access to his phone, social media, and e-mails. I never find anything, but I'm obsessed with constantly checking just in case. How do I stop this? It's driving a ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-obsessively-checking-if-my-boyfriend-is-cheating | Relationships,Intimacy | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Greenville, I respect that you're owning your own overreactions, and that you want to give your boyfriend the respect he deserves. The truth is that some people cheat, and some don't, and our partners deserve the benefit of the doubt unless they show signs they can't be trusted.</p><p>The answer here is in two di... | 0 |
566a82089f3a71de09b3c117 | Why am I so nervous talking to people? | Whether it's to a guy or girl, I always feel insecure talking, and I am afraid of embarrassing myself and not being good enough. Even when I am walking, I worry about my appearance and facial expression and such. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-am-i-so-nervous-talking-to-people | Self-esteem,Social Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi. I'm glad you wrote, because I think a lot of people have this same issue (to different degrees) and we don't talk about it much. You have some social anxiety that is a bit beyond what the average person might feel. Most people have some amount of worry about what others might think of them, and this probably pre... | 0 |
5668f62a8e6cb9fb4f71a445 | Should I get a new therapist? | I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-get-a-new-therapist | Professional Ethics | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Anaheim,</p><p>Relationships with therapists have some things in common with other relationships; they work best if there is dialogue about what your hopes, thoughts, emotions and needs are. Are you letting your therapist know what your goals are? It's okay to say "I'd really like us to focus on this piece", or "... | 0 |
56688858c4590e202d3f1f2f | My fiancé is trying to hide that he's texting his ex-girlfriend. | My fiancé doesn't think I trust him because I was cheated on before. However, he hides his phone and has been texting his ex-girlfriend, who he has two kids with. What should I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-fianc-is-trying-to-hide-that-he-s-texting-his-ex-girlfriend | Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Oh Chino, I only have half the picture here so I will be cautious. There's a chicken and an egg, and I don't know which came first. One thing I see clearly is that your fiance will always have to have communications with his ex, because they have children. Can you accept that? </p><p>When suspicion and insecuri... | 0 |
566a400f9f3a71de09b3c101 | Is it appropriate to give my counselor a bottle of wine for Christmas? | I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him s... | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-appropriate-to-give-my-counselor-a-bottle-of-wine-for-christmas | Professional Ethics | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi, </p><p>Different therapists are guided by the ethical guidelines of their own associations or colleges when it comes to receiving gifts, so this may differ a bit from therapist to therapist. It's important to me that I be sensitive to cultural norms, and to my client's needs. In Canada, and the US, it is cu... | 0 |
566cc1449f3a71de09b3c158 | I'm scared to go to a doctor or take anti-depressants. | A friend of mine taking psychology advised I go to my doctor to check if I have major depressive disorder. I'm afraid of the consequences of doing so. If I do become diagnosed with major depressive disorder, won’t that go on my records? I will never be able to become a counselor along with a list of other things I may ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-scared-to-go-to-a-doctor-or-take-anti-depressants | Depression,Anxiety | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>I admire your courage for stating your view about anti-depressants. Questioning mainstream thinking and being in touch with your own views, are signs of strength and clarity in a person.</p><p>As a therapist, I always tell my patients to avoid anti-depressants.</p><p>Their effectiveness is in suppressing a per... | 0 |
566cb30c9f3a71de09b3c156 | I have an old roommate who might be a psychopath. | I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees th... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-an-old-roommate-who-might-be-a-psychopath | Social Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>You may intuitively be sensing what many professionals in the social sciences and psychology have already understood.</p><p>Just Google "psychopaths and leadership" and many articles come up about boardroom politics and that psychopaths are very successful in these roles.</p><p>Theoretically, is it terrible that cor... | 0 |
566f16929f3a71de09b3c19f | How can I control my anger? | When I see something I don’t like, I go off like a ticking time bomb. I go from “0 to 100” really quickly. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-control-my-anger-2 | Anger Management | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>Sometimes we react to situations immediately, without thinking of the consequences of our actions. Typically by not reacting right away, we are better able to gather our thoughts, see the situation more clearly and from other perspectives, and respond more calmly. One of the strategies that almost always helps is de... | 0 |
566e83819f3a71de09b3c199 | My ex-boyfriend is with someone new, and it hurts. | I just got out of a two year relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't showing any affection at all. He was talking to other women and lying about it. It pushed me away and hurt me, but I'm still in love with him. A couple days after our breakup, he was talking to someone new. He told me he wasn't su... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-ex-boyfriend-is-with-someone-new-and-it-hurts | Depression,Relationships | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>I am very sorry for the pain you are suffering. Losing the most significant person in your life is extremely painful and breakups are often equated to a death. There will certainly be a grieving process that you go through and time passing will allow the hurt to subside. With that being said, seeing a therapist... | 0 |
566e610b9f3a71de09b3c197 | How can I have a better relationship with my father? | I am always arguing with my father. He gets stressed over work and health and talks to me in a tone of voice that seems very demanding and seems more like yelling. I get upset often at this. Am I too sensitive? He always says I am overreacting but never seems to understand that he is hurting my feelings. No matter how ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-have-a-better-relationship-with-my-father | Family Conflict | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>Thanks for the question. Regardless of whether or not you are sensitive, it is okay to want better communication with those who are important to you. When we feel that we are being talked down to or being ridiculed, it is difficult to not take it personally. It sounds like you have taken the first and necessary step... | 0 |
5667a4b11678044a13a776ff | I have the perfect guy, but I'm not attracted to him. | I'm in a long-distance relationship with my ideal man, but I'm not as attracted to him as I should be. Everything else is perfect about him, but I find myself lusting over more attractive men. The next step is marriage, but I want to marry someone who I can wake up to and fall in love with all over again. However, I al... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-the-perfect-guy-but-i-m-not-attracted-to-him | Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Montgomery, </p><p>Your first sentence says it all. He might be an amazing person, but there's something missing for you. I'm curious...you say this is a long distance relationship. Did you make a connection through social media or email first? Maybe a dating website? I'm just wondering if this is the case. ... | 0 |
5671bc451c0ef037212236f7 | My husband doesn't trust me. | My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-doesn-t-trust-me | Marriage | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Louisiana,</p><p>It's normal when trust has been broken in the past for fear and insecurities to come up from time to time. His reactions may not mean that he doesn't trust you, but rather that he gets scared that he's going to be hurt again. </p><p>You're a bit vague about the past. You don't say whether yo... | 0 |
5670b5124c6f6bda188fb893 | How can I stop abusing alcohol? | I have bipolar II disorder, I'm addicted to alcohol and weed, and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-stop-abusing-alcohol | Addiction,Substance Abuse | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>You may feel hopeless but YOU are not hopeless. Addictions of any sort are difficult to overcome, especially when they serve to bury pain and suffering that one is experiencing. It is not impossible to overcome alcohol or drug use/abuse/dependence on your own, but you will likely find much greater success with the h... | 0 |
5671bc451c0ef037212236f7 | My husband doesn't trust me. | My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-doesn-t-trust-me | Marriage | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>It is incredibly frustrating to not be trusted when you know you are doing nothing wrong. If the lack of trust on your husband's end has to do with something you did in the past, then be patient and give it time. Once trust is broken it takes time and effort to gain it back. Try seeing the situation from your husban... | 0 |
567082c85bb022840f42baf4 | How do I find myself? | I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-find-myself | Spirituality | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>What exactly is it that you are looking for? Different people define themselves in different ways. For example, one person may define himself by his values and morals while another identifies herself by her personality and characteristics. Still, another person may define himself by his interests and hobbies. Learni... | 0 |
5671bc451c0ef037212236f7 | My husband doesn't trust me. | My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-doesn-t-trust-me | Marriage | Nat Roman | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | <p>I'm sorry to hear about the trust issues in your relationship. Trust, as you clearly know, is essential to healthy relationships. Past indiscretions or dishonesty can damage this trust and make it really hard to confidence that these things will not happen again despite reassurances. We tend to be very sensitive to ... | 0 |
5670b5124c6f6bda188fb893 | How can I stop abusing alcohol? | I have bipolar II disorder, I'm addicted to alcohol and weed, and I'm hopeless. I keep drinking even though it's harming myself and others. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-stop-abusing-alcohol | Addiction,Substance Abuse | Nat Roman | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | <p>What an important question. I'm hearing your hopelessness and fear about the damage of your substance use and it sounds like you have reason for concern. While there can be negative stigma about using substances, for the most part substance use is an attempt to cope with emotional distress in the absence of sufficie... | 0 |
5670cfcd1c0ef037212236d0 | How do I get over a coworker? | I've worked with this guy for about three years now, and I knew the first time I saw him that I was attracted. Over time, he became a very dear friend, and we talked about our relationship problems, family, dreams, and so on. There was always flirtation with us, and one day pretty recently, it progressed to making out.... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-a-coworker | Workplace Relationships,Social Relationships | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>It sounds like a tricky situation. If you want to maintain your friendship and continue to have regular contact with him, getting over him may not be possible. What makes it even trickier is that his actions (hugs and touching) may be misleading and are allowing you to believe that a romantic relationship is possibl... | 0 |
5671bc451c0ef037212236f7 | My husband doesn't trust me. | My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-doesn-t-trust-me | Marriage | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>The good news in the way you're feeling is recognizing that your husband's trust of your actions, makes a difference to you.</p><p>The typical therapy formula for restoring trust between two people after some sort of betrayal, is for the one who has broken the trust, to earn it back.</p><p>Restoring trust requires b... | 0 |
5670cfcd1c0ef037212236d0 | How do I get over a coworker? | I've worked with this guy for about three years now, and I knew the first time I saw him that I was attracted. Over time, he became a very dear friend, and we talked about our relationship problems, family, dreams, and so on. There was always flirtation with us, and one day pretty recently, it progressed to making out.... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-a-coworker | Workplace Relationships,Social Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>How frustrating to want a relationship with someone who does not feel similarly!</p><p>The person who needs to be at the top of your list of those whose interest you consider, is yourself.</p><p>Most often, staying engaged in dialogue, affection, sex, with someone who has different reasons than you have, for doing s... | 0 |
567052715b1e34166b9af6a6 | How do I see a therapist without having healthcare? | I need to speak to someone about sexual addiction and binge eating immediately. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-see-a-therapist-without-having-healthcare | Eating Disorders,Human Sexuality,Addiction | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>Depending on your area and location, there may be therapists who provide services on a sliding scale. Additionally, churches will often times offer counseling for free or for a small fee. I suggest doing a simple Google search and contact therapists in your area. It never hurts to ask for a reduced fee and even... | 0 |
56745d0804038e557aecf465 | Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend? | I'm a male in my 20s. My girlfriend is in her late 30s. She's great. She's funny and smart, she has a big heart, and we have an excellent sex life. She recently moved in with me partially because she wanted to and partially because she had no place to go. We fight a lot. It’s mostly my fault, I must admit. She doesn't ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-break-up-with-my-live-in-girlfriend-3 | Self-esteem,Relationships | Sandra Cooper, RN, LPCMH | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sandra-cooper-rn-lpcmh | <p>Hi Fort Worth, I applaud your awareness and insight into the relationship. Most of us come into relationships carrying old baggage and although you can't change her, what you can do, is change yourself. We can usually begin to understand ourselves better in the context of our own upbringings.... | 0 |
56745d0804038e557aecf465 | Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend? | I'm a male in my 20s. My girlfriend is in her late 30s. She's great. She's funny and smart, she has a big heart, and we have an excellent sex life. She recently moved in with me partially because she wanted to and partially because she had no place to go. We fight a lot. It’s mostly my fault, I must admit. She doesn't ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-break-up-with-my-live-in-girlfriend-3 | Self-esteem,Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Are you possibly mixing up an impulse to nurture and protect someone, such as by offering housing, and your own need to feel loved and appreciated as a romantic partner?</p><p><br></p><p>Maybe your feeling of jealousy is really your awareness of a reasonable need to be loved by a partner.</p><p>Even though you are q... | 0 |
56738e09c67f93fb5b313e7f | I'm scared of hurting my boyfriend after he had a cyst removed from his testicles. | My boyfriend and I have not had sex in a couple of weeks. He had to have a cyst removed on his testicles. I have been wanting to have sex with him for a while now, and it drives me crazy not to be able to make love to him. I'm scared to touch him and get close to him because I'm afraid that I will hurt him. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-scared-of-hurting-my-boyfriend-after-he-had-a-cyst-removed-from-his-testicles | Intimacy,Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Are you talking with your boyfriend about his doctor advises on starting to have sex again?</p><p>Being able to talk together about topics that involve both of you, will establish a new type of intimacy on an emotional level.</p><p>Also, there are many ways of making love. If your bf's cyst hasn't yet healed, ... | 0 |
56738869c67f93fb5b313e7e | My parents are threatening to send me away if I don't play basketball for a team I hate. | I'm applying to private high schools. I'm playing basketball on my school team currently, and I love it. I also play on a team that I've hated since the beginning, and I finally want to quit before the season gets started. However, my parents say I can play on either both teams or neither. I think it's unfair because i... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-parents-are-threatening-to-send-me-away-if-i-don-t-play-basketball-for-a-team-i-hate | Family Conflict | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>The situation in your family seems to place unnecessary pressure on you.</p><p>Are you and your parents able to talk together about their reason for their standard?</p><p>Are your parents willing to listen to your reasons to not play on the team you hate?</p><p>If yes, then maybe some type of compromise is possible ... | 0 |
5671f5881c0ef03721223706 | How can I get my boyfriend to see my point of view when we argue? | I had to go to the emergency room today to get an X-ray of my spine. My boyfriend didn't want to sit there and wait with me. Instead, he wanted to go do things for his friends while I waited. When I was done, he was twenty minutes late in picking me up. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, and we keep bickering at each o... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-my-boyfriend-to-see-my-point-of-view-when-we-argue | Relationships | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | It is extremely frustrating when our significant other doesn't understand our points of view. Often times, arguments are not the best opportunities to try and make a point, as strong emotions can get in the way of understanding others' perspectives. <div><br></div><div>Try having a discussion with him about what i... | 0 |
56745d0804038e557aecf465 | Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend? | I'm a male in my 20s. My girlfriend is in her late 30s. She's great. She's funny and smart, she has a big heart, and we have an excellent sex life. She recently moved in with me partially because she wanted to and partially because she had no place to go. We fight a lot. It’s mostly my fault, I must admit. She doesn't ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-break-up-with-my-live-in-girlfriend-3 | Self-esteem,Relationships | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | It sounds like there are assumptions being made regarding how she feels about you and why she is with you. I would not suggest breaking up with her without first attempting to resolve your own issues. You may not only regret your decision, but might find that the exact same problem arises in future relationships. I wou... | 0 |
567202c81c0ef0372122370e | Relationships cause me anxiety and nausea. | I am in high school and have been facing anxiety issues lately. Whenever I get close to being in a relationship, some kind of anxiety takes over and keeps me from the relationship. This anxiety causes me depression at times and even makes me want to vomit. While a semi-relationship should be joyous, for me, it’s an emo... | https://counselchat.com/questions/relationships-cause-me-anxiety-and-nausea | Depression,Anxiety,Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Helena,</p><p>I felt a bit sad when I read this. This is a new term for me... "semi-relationship". What does it mean? I know that today's culture for young people is more of a "hook-up" culture than a dating one. Maybe that means that you develop connections to people but you keep yourself from hoping for a full ... | 0 |
5671f5881c0ef03721223706 | How can I get my boyfriend to see my point of view when we argue? | I had to go to the emergency room today to get an X-ray of my spine. My boyfriend didn't want to sit there and wait with me. Instead, he wanted to go do things for his friends while I waited. When I was done, he was twenty minutes late in picking me up. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, and we keep bickering at each o... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-my-boyfriend-to-see-my-point-of-view-when-we-argue | Relationships | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Moore, Underneath all your anger is a lot of hurt. The hurt is there because you are being disrespected. Your boyfriend (unless you've only told me a small, disproportionate part of the bigger picture) doesn't tend to treat you like you're important and he dismisses your emotions. This is happening because this i... | 0 |
5671c7451c0ef037212236fc | What can i do if there is no trust in our relationship? | I just got married with my husband. I have four kids of my own, and he accepts me with my kids. I am thankful he loves my kids even though they’re not his. Now we are having problems in our relationship because of my past. I know all marriages have problems, but sometimes I feel it’s not going to work out if there’s no... | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-can-i-do-if-there-is-no-trust-in-our-relationship | Marriage,Intimacy | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Louisiana,</p><p>You say that the problems are with your "past", but my hunch is the problems are about his insecurity and his personal barriers to trust (unless you've recently revealed details of a sordid past?). You don't mention ever having hurt the trust in the relationship.</p><p>Trust is the first stage in... | 0 |
5664cec20901991a77b2088e | I lie to my mom about my relationship. | I use to be so happy. No matter what, I always was happy. I got into a relationship with this guy. I love him so much. We’re both teenagers. The week after his birthday, my mom made me stop talking to him. It broke me. He came to my house and talked to her, and she let us date again but not see each other. He comes up ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-lie-to-my-mom-about-my-relationship | Relationships,Family Conflict | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p style="margin-bottom: 0px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hi Los Angeles, I can tell you have a moral backbone because it's hurting you to lie to your mom. I always say that a little bit of guilt is healthy because it teaches us who we want to be. Listen to th... | 0 |
5566f9a2a64752d71ec3ca67 | I’ve suffered from insomnia and nightmares for about 3 years | It takes me a long time to fall asleep; I’d estimate about two hours. I often have nightmares, starting with being eaten by a monster, and I often wake up frightened and unable to breathe.
I believe I started losing sleep after breaking up with a girlfriend of 8 years. Also, my father’s business went bankrupt and my m... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-ve-suffered-from-insomnia-and-nightmares-for-about-3-years | Sleep Improvement | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXML... | 0 |
56724b5d1c0ef03721223715 | I'm studying abroad, and I'm depressed. | I'm supposed to stay here the rest of my academic life, but I've never liked it here, not even before I came. I’ve never felt like I belong, I’ve missed my country every second in the past four months, and I'm just miserable. I'm gaining weight, doing nothing, and crying for hours straight. Is it time to go back home o... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-studying-abroad-and-i-m-depressed | Depression | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are feeling very unsure and out of place and the prospect of continuing to feel as you do now for the remainder of schooling seems daunting. Without getting to know more about you and your experiences here and at home, it is hard to say what you should do, however, I think exploring these things w... | 0 |
55849048e1d57a380899c160 | What do I do about a cousin who makes me feel belittled, insecure and frustrated? | Hello, I have a cousin in my family who has been making me feel belittled, insecure, and frustrated during her stay here in the city. I know she comes from a place of love, but she has always been short-fused and highly temperamental if something doesn't work out the way she planned it. I have tried my best to coordina... | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-do-i-do-about-a-cousin-who-makes-me-feel-belittled-insecure-and-frustrated | Family Conflict | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are feeling pretty criticized by your cousin and at the same time you are wondering whether or not there is some truth in what she is saying. It also sounds like you would like to see if you can find a new way to relate to your cousin, so that your relationship can be more satisfying. If you can f... | 0 |
5670cfcd1c0ef037212236d0 | How do I get over a coworker? | I've worked with this guy for about three years now, and I knew the first time I saw him that I was attracted. Over time, he became a very dear friend, and we talked about our relationship problems, family, dreams, and so on. There was always flirtation with us, and one day pretty recently, it progressed to making out.... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-a-coworker | Workplace Relationships,Social Relationships | Nat Roman | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | <p>It sounds like you have mixed feelings and motivations - which is understandable. On the one hand you want to get over him, on the other you are still holding out hope for something more. It will be really hard to let go of him and create friend boundaries so long as there is a part of you holding on to the idea of ... | 0 |
55cf72b0bdca3bcd2070e9ca | How do you cope with the death of your child, while surrounded with your parents who aren't supportive and disregard your feelings? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-you-cope-with-the-death-of-your-child-while-surrounded-with-your-parents-who-aren-t-supportive-and-disregard-your-feelings | Grief and Loss | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your loss, which must be very painful. It sounds like in addition to the loss, you are also feeling invalidated by your parents and alone with your grief. Grieving is a very personal and sometimes complex process which many people are ill equipped to support us through. If... | 0 |
55d030616ae5f72373d44189 | How do I make myself happy without someone who made me happy? | How do I make myself happy without the people who made me happy? Now that they’re gone, I feel sad. It’s been two months now but I seem to be unable to stay okay and independent. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-make-myself-happy-without-someone-who-made-me-happy | Depression,Relationships | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you have been feeling pretty down, since the loss of a relationship, and you're wondering how to be happy by yourself. Intimacy is a very natural human desire and at the same time learning to enjoy ourselves, even when we are alone, can strengthen our ability to lead a satisfying life in and out of re... | 0 |
561c8201e88a65597bb56a50 | I'm overwhelmed and depressed | I'm unemployed just relocated. I can't get approved for a place to live because of past mistakes which follow me to this day. I'm depressed and on the verge of loosing my partner because I'm overwhelmed and have trouble functioning on a daily basis. I see no light at the end of this tunnel and need some help. I see no ... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-overwhelmed-and-depressed | Depression | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are feeling like things are hopeless and out of control and you're not sure what to do about it. If you can find a competent therapist to work with, together you may be able to come up with some strategies for alleviating the overwhelming distress that you are experiencing and gain some insight in... | 0 |
55efaa126158f62c488b9554 | How do I deal with anger problems towards my mom | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-anger-problems-towards-my-mom | Anger Management,Family Conflict | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>Anger is a natural and healthy emotion, however, it can be difficult to deal with if it becomes overwhelming and depending on what we have been taught about it and how to express it. A competent therapist may be able to help you figure out ways to relate to your anger and your mother that will feel right to you.<br>... | 0 |
5676c0138e5e79ff3a20c7de | My husband yells “enough” when I tell him he needs to change | That phrase makes me crazy. It happens anytime I point out something to my husband that he needs to change, such as looking up from his iPad long enough for me to tell him the grandbaby almost pulled the shelf unit over or explaining to him that I got all the things he needs to bake a pie. Another example is when he op... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-yells-enough-when-i-tell-him-he-needs-to-change | Marriage | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>I empathize with your feeling "crazy" hearing your husband yell "enough" in response to you wanting to make a point to him.</p><p>When the immediate situation has calmed down, have you ever told him that this upsets you? </p><p>Is it possible he simply is not aware that you feel upset by how he talks to ... | 0 |
5676b4bf8e5e79ff3a20c7dc | Is it acceptable for me to find another home for my boyfriend's dog? | My boyfriend moved in with me a few months ago. I love him, but his dog is wrecking my house. Every day we get home, there is a huge mess on the floor, and several things will be ripped up (including the couch). He's slowly eating all of the doors, and there will be food and poop everywhere. Even though I come home dur... | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-acceptable-for-me-to-find-another-home-for-my-boyfriend-s-dog | Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Every living creature needs time and support to adjust to a new situation.</p><p>The dog is in a new place without the ability to understand the reason. This may explain what sounds like the dog's agitation. </p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Have you spoken with your boyfriend on his o... | 0 |
567633558e5e79ff3a20c7d8 | Why do I see things that are not actually there? | It has been going on more often lately, but not all the time. It has been starting to affect my driving, among other things. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-see-things-that-are-not-actually-there | null | Ida Duplechin | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ida-duplechin | <p>It's important to make an appointment with a neurologist and ophthalmologist ASAP for evaluation. There are medical conditions that can create this effect.<br></p> | 0 |
56757c7d9c01d6e4177f8b49 | How do I know if I have social anxiety? | I'm a teenager, and I struggle with going out and talking to people. I feel awful about leaving home. I know I can't afford a therapist so I don't know what my problem is, but I think I might have social anxiety. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-know-if-i-have-social-anxiety | Anxiety | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>If you are noticing that anxiety tends to be triggered around interactions with others, then you may have social anxiety. Working with a therapist, you may be able to gain insight into the nature of the anxiety, develop tools for coping with it, and take steps that may alleviate it over time, so that you can enjoy y... | 0 |
567797b78e5e79ff3a20c7f1 | How do I deal with parental figures who have hurt me? | People who are parental figures in my life have, in the past, hurt me, and some continue to do so. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for my husband or the life he provides me. I have had jobs, but I am going through a lot of my past garbage and trying to figure out when it all went wrong. Any time I bring these... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-parental-figures-who-have-hurt-me | Depression,Family Conflict | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you have been thinking about how past hurts have influenced you, and when you try to talk about these hurts with people in your life, you are feeling invalidated. It also sounds like current conflicts are continuing to leave you feeling hurt and devalued. In working with a therapist, you may be able t... | 0 |
5676c0138e5e79ff3a20c7de | My husband yells “enough” when I tell him he needs to change | That phrase makes me crazy. It happens anytime I point out something to my husband that he needs to change, such as looking up from his iPad long enough for me to tell him the grandbaby almost pulled the shelf unit over or explaining to him that I got all the things he needs to bake a pie. Another example is when he op... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-yells-enough-when-i-tell-him-he-needs-to-change | Marriage | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>It's hard to say what is okay and what is not okay, as it depends on what you and your husband feel is appropriate in your relationship. If you are feeling like you need to walk on eggshells or that you can't speak your mind and say how you feel, then that sounds like a problem. I would recommend having an open disc... | 0 |
5678a5171dafd4552b777448 | Does my fiancée need a service dog? | My fiancée suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She has had it most of her life. Her anxiety in public places is the worst. It gets to points where she can't breathe or move. Sometimes, she won't even go to the restroom, so she will hold in her pee until her stomach hurts or she pees herself. She curls up in cor... | https://counselchat.com/questions/does-my-fianc-e-need-a-service-dog | Depression,Anxiety | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>It sounds like you have been a positive support for your fiancee. There is no doubt that this situation is a great challenge for the both of you. While it may feel like you are responsible for her health and happiness, it is important that you understand that you, on your own, won't be able to resolve her mental hea... | 0 |
567979b81dafd4552b77745e | I’ve been separated from my husband for six months and he still has not filed for divorce. | My husband and I got into a huge dispute. He said he wanted a divorce, and I left. I still come home a lot and see my kids, and he has not filed yet even though he still said he is. What does that mean for our marriage? | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-ve-been-separated-from-my-husband-for-six-months-and-he-still-has-not-filed-for-divorce | Relationship Dissolution | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>In any relationship, including marriage, each partner will be better able to do their part, by understanding their own interests and wishes.</p><p>Concentrate more on what you'd like from your marriage. This will naturally raise the questions and criteria of what to talk with your husband about and what to ask... | 0 |
567082c85bb022840f42baf4 | How do I find myself? | I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-find-myself | Spirituality | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this ... | 0 |
55de7d6a368d07e003f28d2a | I have come to the realization that my boyfriend and I want different things | I feel that I need to end my present relationship. He lives three hours away and likes the reassurance of having someone to talk to multiple times per day and seeing me once or twice a month. I want someone who is more present and more of a life companion.
Lately, he has had a very busy work schedule and I have only s... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-come-to-the-realization-that-my-boyfriend-and-i-want-different-things | Relationships,Anxiety | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you have some insight into the cycle that you describe with your current relationship and at the same time you are still feeling stuck. It also sounds like the distressing feelings that you experience, when you imagine what will happen for you and your current partner, are pretty overwhelming. A compe... | 0 |
55717c13a03de6c365f45be9 | Sleeping, Anger and Anxiety | I have a lot of issues going on right now. First of all, I have a lot of trouble sleeping at times, while other nights I sleep too much and still feel quite tired. I’m also noticing increased irritability and experiencing anxiety attacks that last for hours. Is there something wrong with me and if so what should I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/sleeping-anger-and-anxiety | Anxiety,Anger Management | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are noticing yourself becoming overwhelmed with anxiety, feeling more irritable, and struggling to sleep consistently. There are many possibilities, in regards to what may be contributing to these things you are noticing, and a competent therapist may be able to help. In therapy, you may be able t... | 0 |
563d2aba5e89a58d24b6488f | Does my friend have depression? | I am really worried about one of my friends because I think he has major depression. He disagrees with me on that. He is shut off when it comes to talking to people and telling them how he really feels. He told me he feels empty inside and the only emotions he feels are anger and sadness. I suggested to him to get help... | https://counselchat.com/questions/does-my-friend-have-depression | Depression,Social Relationships | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | First of all, I can tell that you really care about your friend and I think it's great that you are reaching out with your concern. It's hard to determine whether your friend would meet the criteria for an official diagnosis of depression without working with him, however, whether he does or not, therapy may be benefic... | 0 |
567d08faa377e46d7ebe2b98 | I always feel depressed. | I think about death all the time because I feel so alone. I want someone to love and someone to love me. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-feel-depressed | Depression | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Ohio,</p><p>I'm so glad you reached out. I urge you to talk to someone close to you, today, about your feelings, and to also seek professional help for your serious thoughts and feelings. We want you to be safe, and your depression is treatable.</p><p>Loneliness is so painful, and when we feel lonely, this can le... | 0 |
567d050aa377e46d7ebe2b95 | I'm desperate for attention, and I don't know what to do about it. | I like getting attention from men. I don't have sex. I lead them on to thinking I might want to. I like to tease, I like for men to chase me, and I like to feel wanted. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-desperate-for-attention-and-i-don-t-know-what-to-do-about-it | Relationships,Self-esteem,Human Sexuality | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Michigan, Good for you for recognising a destructive pattern. This behaviour, although it might get you the attention you want initially, will ultimately drive men away because it's not respectful of them. My gut says that you learned early on in life that your value is in your sexuality alone. That's a powerful ... | 0 |
567bbaf7a377e46d7ebe2b7e | How do I know if I have bipolar disorder? | I feel that I am struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and it is making my day-to-day life extremely difficult. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-know-if-i-have-bipolar-disorder | Behavioral Change | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | It sounds like you are experiencing a great deal of distress and you're wondering if it may meet a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. There are a few different types of Bipolar diagnoses in the DSM (diagnositc and statistical manual) and the best way to find out if your experiences would meet that diagnosis would be to mee... | 0 |
567e2b9ca377e46d7ebe2bb3 | Why do I feel like I’m watching my life from a window? | I never feel like myself. I can’t even think straight anymore. I start stuttering and I can’t remember anything. I always get nervous and usually talk myself down but recently end up fighting with, what feels like, someone else. I don’t know why I feel this way, but I hate it. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-feel-like-i-m-watching-my-life-from-a-window | Behavioral Change,Anxiety | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>What you are describing sounds like it may be a form of dissociation. Dissociation is our mind's way of disconnecting us from aspects of our experience in an attempt to protect us in overwhelming situations. It also sounds like you are noticing anxiety in certain situations. In working with a competent therapist, yo... | 0 |
567c9daca377e46d7ebe2b8a | I feel like I can't control having inappropriate thoughts. | I find that I imagine things sexually, and I hate it because it puts strain on my relationship. I feel helpless and guilty. I want it to go away, and I want to make my woman happy again. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-like-i-can-t-control-having-inappropriate-thoughts | Relationships,Human Sexuality | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It is completely understandable that you would like to find a way to make these intrusive thoughts go away, however, your feeling that you can't control having these thoughts is accurate. It's also understandable that you would feel helpless and guilty, given that you see how these thoughts are effecting your relati... | 0 |
567d08faa377e46d7ebe2b98 | I always feel depressed. | I think about death all the time because I feel so alone. I want someone to love and someone to love me. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-feel-depressed | Depression | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>Feeling alone and/or isolated is almost always associated with being depressed. As humans, we need connection and interaction with others in order to feel satisfied. Given that you are frequently thinking about death, I highly recommend that you see a mental health professional as soon as possible to help assess you... | 0 |
567bb16ba377e46d7ebe2b71 | My brother never hangs out with me anymore. | I am a teenager, and my brother is a few years older. He has a girlfriend who is always with him. He never hangs out with me anymore. We were really close, and it is making me really sad. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-brother-never-hangs-out-with-me-anymore | Family Conflict | Margaret Van Ackeren | https://counselchat.com/therapists/margaret-van-ackeren-yorba-linda | <p>It is always hard when we feel as if we are losing somebody close to us. Feeling sad over these losses are normal. While there may be some things you can do to remedy this situation, it is important that you try and understand that part of life is change. The fact that your brother doesn't spend as much time with yo... | 0 |
56783bf47884f6fc6f1c5247 | My husband doesn't include me in the family. | I've been hurt by a man for five years. He doesn't involve me with the family or kids. Everyone in the family is against me. There is a Mass today for a family member, and he never asked me to go. I'm to sit home alone now and Christmas too. He expects me to sit alone while he enjoys being with the family. We are in ou... | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-husband-doesn-t-include-me-in-the-family | Marriage,Family Conflict | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Florida,</p><p>I get the sense that, aside from this relationship, you're quite isolated in general. It's sad that you're feeling excluded at Christmastime and family events. While I would suggest that you don't really know what he or his family are thinking or feeling (you assume they're against you, and that he... | 0 |
5668f7b98e6cb9fb4f71a447 | My wife is cheating and won’t tell me the truth. | I found out today that my wife is cheating on me. I love her, but she won’t tell the truth even when I have proof. When I beg her to tell the truth, she yells, cusses, and gets a huge attitude. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-wife-is-cheating-and-won-t-tell-me-the-truth | Marriage | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Prattville, </p><p>I'm sorry this is happening to you. You need support right now, and yes, you need answers. She is in denial and is trying to hide the truth, to protect herself. This is a natural behaviour. You don't indicate whether she wants the marriage, or is planning to leave. Which way you go from he... | 0 |
567c43e0a377e46d7ebe2b84 | I have a compulsion to fill in holes in my skin with ink. | I never get infections or scars or anything, and it doesn't bother me if it gets filled up with blood or something, but I'm concerned. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-a-compulsion-to-fill-in-holes-in-my-skin-with-ink | Behavioral Change | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Houston, The fact that you're concerned says a lot. If I was your therapist I'd ask you questions about your worries and how this is causing a problem in your life. You're causing perhaps permanent changes (damage?) to your body, and it's likely you're trying to express something...pain maybe? A therapist can hel... | 0 |
567e2b9ca377e46d7ebe2bb3 | Why do I feel like I’m watching my life from a window? | I never feel like myself. I can’t even think straight anymore. I start stuttering and I can’t remember anything. I always get nervous and usually talk myself down but recently end up fighting with, what feels like, someone else. I don’t know why I feel this way, but I hate it. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-feel-like-i-m-watching-my-life-from-a-window | Behavioral Change,Anxiety | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Houston, Okay, something's definitely going on, right? My gut is to start with your family physician, because you have some physical symptoms. While it seems anxiety is a likely problem here, your doctor will hopefully know your history and can help you decide if you need some medical tests or some therapy. Witho... | 0 |
567bb16ba377e46d7ebe2b71 | My brother never hangs out with me anymore. | I am a teenager, and my brother is a few years older. He has a girlfriend who is always with him. He never hangs out with me anymore. We were really close, and it is making me really sad. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-brother-never-hangs-out-with-me-anymore | Family Conflict | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Zionsville. It's so sweet that you have a special relationship with your brother. You will ALWAYS have that, you know? He's doing what's natural at his age...spreading his wings and looking for love. You may be heading into that zone soon too, but I get that it's weird that he's there before you, and you miss him... | 0 |
567fad01a377e46d7ebe2beb | I'm worried that I will be single forever. | I have lately been having lots of anxiety and self-loathing about the fact that I am a young adult virgin girl who has never had a boyfriend before. It seems like everyone my age has already had boyfriends by now or are not virgins anymore, and I just had my first kiss five months ago. I’m worried that, at this rate, I... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-worried-that-i-will-be-single-forever | Relationships,Self-esteem,Anxiety | Cimberly R. Nesker | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker | <p>I think one of the first questions that springs to mind for me is, "what's the rush?" Just because other people in your circle have had experiences that you are still warming up to does not mean that there's something wrong or something to be ashamed of. If anything, I want to commend you on the self-res... | 0 |
56678db91678044a13a776f4 | How can I be happy again? | At school, it feels like I've lost all my friends, and I've been really weird with my sleeping patterns. I used to cut myself, and I really want to again, but I change in the locker rooms because I don’t want anybody to see. I get ticked off easy and overreact. At night, I’m very depressed and listen to sad music and a... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-happy-again | Depression,Sleep Improvement | Cimberly R. Nesker | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker | <p>As silly as it may sound, making sure that we are getting the right amount of *restful* sleep is very important when we are feeling low. The reason for this is the lack of proper sleep significantly affects our ability to problem solve and critically evaluate our situation and can lead to a domino effect in ou... | 0 |
563fab39c2c5c37870d72c16 | How do I become more confident and face social situations? | For my whole life, I’ve been very unconfident, insecure, and self-questioning. I'm super quiet because I'm scared of what people will think of me. I avoid all social situations as it causes me great anxiety. It is how both of my parents have always been, and I feel like I'm doomed to that life also. It makes it super h... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-become-more-confident-and-face-social-situations | Anxiety,Self-esteem,Workplace Relationships | Cimberly R. Nesker | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker | <p>One of the greatest ways that we can promote ourselves s by learning how to assert ourselves. Despite what most people think of when they hear the word assertive, assertive communication is one of the best ways to manage interpersonal conflict as well as maintain personal boundaries. Once we become comfo... | 0 |
567f3469a377e46d7ebe2bd4 | How can I be sure that I'm not choosing my relationship out of fear of being alone? | I'm scared that I am with this man so I won't be alone. He should be with somebody who deserves him if this is the case, and I don’t want to hurt him. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-sure-that-i-m-not-choosing-my-relationship-out-of-fear-of-being-alone | Self-esteem,Relationships | Mark Morris, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/mark-morris-lcsw-new-orleans | <p>While not wanting to be alone may not be the best reason to be in a relationship, it is probably more common and normal a reason than you think. Since you seem to care about your friend ("don't want to hurt him"), I imagine there are many other reasons that you are together. I suggest that you talk about... | 0 |
56785b9580431ff978c1cb2e | How can I have a better relationship with my mom? | My mom and I have been fighting a lot now, and I just want a good relationship with her. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-have-a-better-relationship-with-my-mom | Family Conflict | Cimberly R. Nesker | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker | <p>The best way to work on a relationship is for both people to engage with the problem and start communicating with each other more effectively. One of the hardest things about this, however, is getting both people within the relationship to recognize that they are both responsible for the successes and failures... | 0 |
567fad01a377e46d7ebe2beb | I'm worried that I will be single forever. | I have lately been having lots of anxiety and self-loathing about the fact that I am a young adult virgin girl who has never had a boyfriend before. It seems like everyone my age has already had boyfriends by now or are not virgins anymore, and I just had my first kiss five months ago. I’m worried that, at this rate, I... | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-worried-that-i-will-be-single-forever | Relationships,Self-esteem,Anxiety | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>It is very hard to want a loving relationship, and either see or imagine all around you, the great times other couples are having. Extra hard is that other people's comments may start giving you the sense that you are letting them down to not have a relationship!</p><p>All the fantasies that develop from viewing Fac... | 0 |
567a47fe32307d3353f8f98c | How can my boyfriend forgive me when I can't forgive myself? | I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about six years now. In the past, our relationship was difficult and frustrating. We argued a lot, and due to that, there was a lot of tension between us. We stayed together because we love each other and wanted to make it work. I used to party a lot, and several time... | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-my-boyfriend-forgive-me-when-i-can-t-forgive-myself | Relationships,Self-esteem | Lynda Martens | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | <p>Hi Cerritos,</p><p>This is an interesting twist because it's more common for the person in your position to want to move forward, and for the person who was wronged to struggle with forgiveness. You are lucky to have a loving, compassionate partner, and your boyfriend is lucky to have a partner who takes full respon... | 0 |
561dd0d0e88a65597bb56a7c | How do I cope or motivate myself without pain | When I'm not cutting, I'm drinking. When I try healthy outlets such as exercise, I end up running myself down into an asthma attack. From weapons, to words, I can't help but self harm. What am I supposed to do, how do I stop this cycle? I don't know how else to cope or motivate myself without pain. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-cope-or-motivate-myself-without-pain | Self-esteem | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are feeling helpless and out of control, you are concerned about your behavior, and at the same time you feel compelled to continue it. In working with a therapist, you may be able to get insight into what is motivating these behaviors, develop strategies for taking care of yourself, and get a str... | 0 |
567fb7eda377e46d7ebe2bed | Why do I crave depression? | It's not entirely true to say I enjoy being sad, but I always find a way to feel that way. I listen to sad music, read tragic stories, and, in a twisted way, like how bad it makes me feel. I focus on negative aspects of my life even if they aren't legitimate or I just make it seem negative. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-crave-depression | Depression | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you are noticing that you are drawn towards sad and negative content and it's hard to understand why. This may sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes we do things that on the surface may look problematic (or even cause us some real problems) because it serves us in some unseen way. A simple example wo... | 0 |
56804d32a377e46d7ebe2bfa | Is my ex-boyfriend a pathological liar? | I have an ex-boyfriend who just lies about everything. He is super lazy. He lies to everyone that he has a good job, builds trust, and then start borrowing money—and large amounts too. It has come to the point where he has gone through several group of friends. He is leaving a trail behind full of friends in debt becau... | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-my-ex-boyfriend-a-pathological-liar | Behavioral Change | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>It sounds like you have some ambivalent feelings towards your ex-boyfriend that are difficult to sort out. You notice that there are both desirable and undesirable things about him, and this is true of everyone to one degree or another. One question that I would have for you is, are you satisfied with your relations... | 0 |
5682c8c4a377e46d7ebe2c7f | The love of my life wants to try getting back together with her child's father. | About two and a half months ago, I met a woman on a dating site. We went out on two dates, and then despite her original plans on how to pace and conduct the relationship, I ended up at her house on a the Friday night one week after our first date. We respectfully tried not to have sex, but after hours of trying to res... | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-love-of-my-life-wants-to-try-getting-back-together-with-her-child-s-father | Relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | <p>Love doesn't hurt.</p><p>Your description of the relationship so far, is that you are feeling a lot of emotional pain, alongside a deep attraction for this woman.</p><p>In some relationships, the benefit of what draws us together with someone, is being able to learn more about our own deep sense of who we are, what ... | 0 |
561589f17a94c0692d0a6e6c | I told my family doctor yesterday, that I am hoarding my Ativan pills. Is he legally required to tell my psychiatrist or therapist? | I have major depression, severe, PTSD, anxiety disorder, and personality disorder. I had an appointment with my doctor. I was very upset, and I shared with him about that particular drug. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-told-my-family-doctor-yesterday-that-i-am-hoarding-my-ativan-pills-is-he-legally-required-to-tell-my-psychiatrist-or-therapist | Legal & Regulatory | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | <p>Your doctor might be required to tell your psychiatrist - especially if your doctor is concerned about your safety.</p><p>It was definitely a good thing that you told your primary care physician about what is going on. I know that must have been difficult to talk about with him. </p><p><span style="-webk... | 0 |
5681c6a8a377e46d7ebe2c47 | Can implanted thoughts be reversed at all? | An organization admitted to implanting thoughts in my head with technologies. The study was to implant a fantasy other people are having, but to me, it's a nightmare. I lost my kids, my job, and all that. I was an unwilling participant. I no longer trust a therapist. I'm too afraid to go under hypnosis or anything. | https://counselchat.com/questions/can-implanted-thoughts-be-reversed-at-all | Trauma | Ben Braaksma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | <p>Given your experience of being imposed upon against your will, and all the personal and professional loss that has come since, your fear of what will happen if you undergo treatment and trust a therapist is understandable. There is no technique or pill that can guarantee these thoughts will go away or be reversed, h... | 0 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.