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FOOL. Look you, here comes my mistress' page.
PAGE. [To the FOOL] Why, how now, Captain? What do you in this wise
company? How dost thou, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Would I had a rod in my mouth, that I might answer thee
profitably!
PAGE. Prithee, Apemantus, read me the superscription of these
letters; I know not which is which.
APEMANTUS. Canst not read?
PAGE. No.
APEMANTUS. There will little learning die, then, that day thou art
hang'd. This is to Lord Timon; this to Alcibiades. Go; thou wast
born a bastard, and thou't die a bawd.
PAGE. Thou wast whelp'd a dog, and thou shalt famish dog's death.
Answer not: I am gone. Exit PAGE
APEMANTUS. E'en so thou outrun'st grace.
Fool, I will go with you to Lord Timon's.
FOOL. Will you leave me there?
APEMANTUS. If Timon stay at home. You three serve three usurers?
ALL SERVANTS. Ay; would they serv'd us!
APEMANTUS. So would I- as good a trick as ever hangman serv'd
thief.
FOOL. Are you three usurers' men?
ALL SERVANTS. Ay, fool.
FOOL. I think no usurer but has a fool to his servant. My mistress
is one, and I am her fool. When men come to borrow of your
masters, they approach sadly and go away merry; but they enter my
mistress' house merrily and go away sadly. The reason of this?
VARRO'S SERVANT. I could render one.
APEMANTUS. Do it then, that we may account thee a whoremaster and a
knave; which notwithstanding, thou shalt be no less esteemed.
VARRO'S SERVANT. What is a whoremaster, fool?
FOOL. A fool in good clothes, and something like thee. 'Tis a
spirit. Sometime 't appears like a lord; sometime like a lawyer;
sometime like a philosopher, with two stones moe than's
artificial one. He is very often like a knight; and, generally,
in all shapes that man goes up and down in from fourscore to
thirteen, this spirit walks in.
VARRO'S SERVANT. Thou art not altogether a fool.
FOOL. Nor thou altogether a wise man.
As much foolery as I have, so much wit thou lack'st.
APEMANTUS. That answer might have become Apemantus.
VARRO'S SERVANT. Aside, aside; here comes Lord Timon.
Re-enter TIMON and FLAVIUS
APEMANTUS. Come with me, fool, come.
FOOL. I do not always follow lover, elder brother, and woman;
sometime the philosopher.
Exeunt APEMANTUS and FOOL
FLAVIUS. Pray you walk near; I'll speak with you anon.
Exeunt SERVANTS
TIMON. You make me marvel wherefore ere this time
Had you not fully laid my state before me,
That I might so have rated my expense
As I had leave of means.
FLAVIUS. You would not hear me
At many leisures I propos'd.
TIMON. Go to;
Perchance some single vantages you took
When my indisposition put you back,
And that unaptness made your minister
Thus to excuse yourself.
FLAVIUS. O my good lord,
At many times I brought in my accounts,
Laid them before you; you would throw them off
And say you found them in mine honesty.
When, for some trifling present, you have bid me
Return so much, I have shook my head and wept;
Yea, 'gainst th' authority of manners, pray'd you
To hold your hand more close. I did endure
Not seldom, nor no slight checks, when I have
Prompted you in the ebb of your estate
And your great flow of debts. My lov'd lord,
Though you hear now- too late!- yet now's a time:
The greatest of your having lacks a half
To pay your present debts.
TIMON. Let all my land be sold.
FLAVIUS. 'Tis all engag'd, some forfeited and gone;
And what remains will hardly stop the mouth
Of present dues. The future comes apace;
What shall defend the interim? And at length
How goes our reck'ning?
TIMON. To Lacedaemon did my land extend.
FLAVIUS. O my good lord, the world is but a word;
Were it all yours to give it in a breath,
How quickly were it gone!
TIMON. You tell me true.
FLAVIUS. If you suspect my husbandry or falsehood,
Call me before th' exactest auditors
And set me on the proof. So the gods bless me,
When all our offices have been oppress'd
With riotous feeders, when our vaults have wept
With drunken spilth of wine, when every room
Hath blaz'd with lights and bray'd with minstrelsy,
I have retir'd me to a wasteful cock
And set mine eyes at flow.
TIMON. Prithee no more.
FLAVIUS. 'Heavens,' have I said 'the bounty of this lord!
How many prodigal bits have slaves and peasants
This night englutted! Who is not Lord Timon's?