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That she that makes me sin, awards me pain.
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142
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Love is my sin, and thy dear virtue hate,
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Hate of my sin, grounded on sinful loving,
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O but with mine, compare thou thine own state,
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And thou shalt find it merits not reproving,
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Or if it do, not from those lips of thine,
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That have profaned their scarlet ornaments,
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And sealed false bonds of love as oft as mine,
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Robbed others' beds' revenues of their rents.
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Be it lawful I love thee as thou lov'st those,
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Whom thine eyes woo as mine importune thee,
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Root pity in thy heart that when it grows,
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Thy pity may deserve to pitied be.
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If thou dost seek to have what thou dost hide,
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By self-example mayst thou be denied.
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143
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Lo as a careful huswife runs to catch,
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One of her feathered creatures broke away,
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Sets down her babe and makes all swift dispatch
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In pursuit of the thing she would have stay:
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Whilst her neglected child holds her in chase,
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Cries to catch her whose busy care is bent,
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To follow that which flies before her face:
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Not prizing her poor infant's discontent;
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So run'st thou after that which flies from thee,
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Whilst I thy babe chase thee afar behind,
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But if thou catch thy hope turn back to me:
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And play the mother's part, kiss me, be kind.
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So will I pray that thou mayst have thy Will,
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If thou turn back and my loud crying still.
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144
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Two loves I have of comfort and despair,
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Which like two spirits do suggest me still,
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The better angel is a man right fair:
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The worser spirit a woman coloured ill.
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To win me soon to hell my female evil,
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Tempteth my better angel from my side,
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And would corrupt my saint to be a devil:
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Wooing his purity with her foul pride.
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And whether that my angel be turned fiend,
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Suspect I may, yet not directly tell,
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But being both from me both to each friend,
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I guess one angel in another's hell.
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Yet this shall I ne'er know but live in doubt,
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Till my bad angel fire my good one out.
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145
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Those lips that Love's own hand did make,
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Breathed forth the sound that said 'I hate',
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To me that languished for her sake:
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But when she saw my woeful state,
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Straight in her heart did mercy come,
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Chiding that tongue that ever sweet,
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Was used in giving gentle doom:
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And taught it thus anew to greet:
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'I hate' she altered with an end,
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That followed it as gentle day,
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Doth follow night who like a fiend
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From heaven to hell is flown away.
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'I hate', from hate away she threw,
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And saved my life saying 'not you'.
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146
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Poor soul the centre of my sinful earth,
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My sinful earth these rebel powers array,
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Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth
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Painting thy outward walls so costly gay?
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Why so large cost having so short a lease,
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Dost thou upon thy fading mansion spend?
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Shall worms inheritors of this excess
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Eat up thy charge? is this thy body's end?
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Then soul live thou upon thy servant's loss,
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And let that pine to aggravate thy store;
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Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross;
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Within be fed, without be rich no more,
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So shall thou feed on death, that feeds on men,
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And death once dead, there's no more dying then.
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147
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My love is as a fever longing still,
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For that which longer nurseth the disease,
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Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
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Th' uncertain sickly appetite to please:
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My reason the physician to my love,
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Angry that his prescriptions are not kept
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Hath left me, and I desperate now approve,
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Desire is death, which physic did except.
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Past cure I am, now reason is past care,
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And frantic-mad with evermore unrest,
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My thoughts and my discourse as mad men's are,
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