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Since the physician at your father's died?
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He was much fam'd.
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BERTRAM. Some six months since, my lord.
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KING. If he were living, I would try him yet-
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Lend me an arm-the rest have worn me out
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With several applications. Nature and sickness
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Debate it at their leisure. Welcome, Count;
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My son's no dearer.
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BERTRAM. Thank your Majesty. Exeunt [Flourish]
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ACT I. SCENE 3.
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Rousillon. The COUNT'S palace
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Enter COUNTESS, STEWARD, and CLOWN
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COUNTESS. I will now hear; what say you of this gentlewoman?
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STEWARD. Madam, the care I have had to even your content I wish
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might be found in the calendar of my past endeavours; for then we
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wound our modesty, and make foul the clearness of our deservings,
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when of ourselves we publish them.
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COUNTESS. What does this knave here? Get you gone, sirrah. The
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complaints I have heard of you I do not all believe; 'tis my
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slowness that I do not, for I know you lack not folly to commit
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them and have ability enough to make such knaveries yours.
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CLOWN. 'Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor fellow.
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COUNTESS. Well, sir.
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CLOWN. No, madam, 'tis not so well that I am poor, though many of
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the rich are damn'd; but if I may have your ladyship's good will
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to go to the world, Isbel the woman and I will do as we may.
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COUNTESS. Wilt thou needs be a beggar?
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CLOWN. I do beg your good will in this case.
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COUNTESS. In what case?
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CLOWN. In Isbel's case and mine own. Service is no heritage; and I
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think I shall never have the blessing of God till I have issue o'
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my body; for they say bames are blessings.
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COUNTESS. Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.
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CLOWN. My poor body, madam, requires it. I am driven on by the
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flesh; and he must needs go that the devil drives.
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COUNTESS. Is this all your worship's reason?
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CLOWN. Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons, such as they are.
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COUNTESS. May the world know them?
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CLOWN. I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you and all flesh
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and blood are; and, indeed, I do marry that I may repent.
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COUNTESS. Thy marriage, sooner than thy wickedness.
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CLOWN. I am out o' friends, madam, and I hope to have friends for
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my wife's sake.
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COUNTESS. Such friends are thine enemies, knave.
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CLOWN. Y'are shallow, madam-in great friends; for the knaves come
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to do that for me which I am aweary of. He that ears my land
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spares my team, and gives me leave to in the crop. If I be his
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cuckold, he's my drudge. He that comforts my wife is the
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cherisher of my flesh and blood; he that cherishes my flesh and
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blood loves my flesh and blood; he that loves my flesh and blood
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is my friend; ergo, he that kisses my wife is my friend. If men
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could be contented to be what they are, there were no fear in
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marriage; for young Charbon the puritan and old Poysam the
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papist, howsome'er their hearts are sever'd in religion, their
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heads are both one; they may jowl horns together like any deer
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i' th' herd.
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COUNTESS. Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouth'd and calumnious knave?
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CLOWN. A prophet I, madam; and I speak the truth the next way:
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For I the ballad will repeat,
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Which men full true shall find:
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Your marriage comes by destiny,
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Your cuckoo sings by kind.
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COUNTESS. Get you gone, sir; I'll talk with you more anon.
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STEWARD. May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen come to you.
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Of her I am to speak.
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COUNTESS. Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak with her; Helen
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I mean.
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CLOWN. [Sings]
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'Was this fair face the cause' quoth she
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'Why the Grecians sacked Troy?
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Fond done, done fond,
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Was this King Priam's joy?'
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With that she sighed as she stood,
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With that she sighed as she stood,
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And gave this sentence then:
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'Among nine bad if one be good,
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Among nine bad if one be good,
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There's yet one good in ten.'
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COUNTESS. What, one good in ten? You corrupt the song, sirrah.
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CLOWN. One good woman in ten, madam, which is a purifying o' th'
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song. Would God would serve the world so all the year! We'd find
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no fault with the tithe-woman, if I were the parson. One in ten,
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quoth 'a! An we might have a good woman born before every blazing
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star, or at an earthquake, 'twould mend the lottery well: a man
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may draw his heart out ere 'a pluck one.
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COUNTESS. You'll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command you.
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CLOWN. That man should be at woman's command, and yet no hurt done!
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Though honesty be no puritan, yet it will do no hurt; it will
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wear the surplice of humility over the black gown of a big heart.
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I am going, forsooth. The business is for Helen to come hither.
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