text stringlengths 1 9.97k | input_ids list | token_type_ids list | attention_mask list |
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`` mmm , '' he mutters , noncommittally , `` it 's true , i did only swing by to train the new recruit at cooper 's request . | [
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if i could have known that you were the new recruit , well ... '' `` well what ? '' | [
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i ask , leaning my elbows on the island . | [
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he glances over his shoulder at me , smiling . | [
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`` maybe i would n't have bought a return ticket , in the end . '' | [
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i 'm torn between elation and trepidation . | [
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best not force the issue of what 's going to happen between us once my training is complete and focus on the moment at hand . | [
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i watch as emerson grills two delectable salmon fillets , blanches some broccoli rabe , and prepares a small batch of pesto pasta . | [
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the food smells amazing , the wine is fantastic , and i 'm here with one of my favorite people on earth . | [
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today may have been a little bit rough , but it sure is shaping up nicely . | [
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if i try real hard , i can pretend that this is what my life is like every day , and forget that this is just a fleeting anomaly . | [
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`` here we go , '' emerson says proudly , plating our food and nodding toward the terrace . | [
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`` shall we ? '' | [
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i follow him out onto the secluded patio with roxie right on my heels . | [
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we settle down at a little table beneath a canopy of string lights and overgrown ivy . | [
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i know i should n't get attached to this place , this feeling , but i ca n't help it . | [
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this is all so ... perfect . | [
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and that 's even before i taste the food . | [
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`` oh my god ... '' i murmur , taking my first bite of perfectly grilled salmon . | [
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`` better than my risotto , even ? '' | [
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emerson asks , helping himself to his meal . | [
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`` i never would have thought it possible but , yes , '' i exclaim , savoring the taste . | [
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`` i kept up with the hobby , '' he says modestly , `` spending a bit of time in france certainly whipped my cooking skills into shape . '' | [
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`` you lived in france ? '' | [
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i ask , wide-eyed . | [
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`` oh yeah , '' he nods , `` france , england , spain , even finland for a while . '' | [
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`` damn , '' i whistle , `` i 've been in the same apartment since i was eighteen . '' | [
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`` nothing wrong with having roots , '' he replies . | [
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`` yeah ... '' i murmur , thinking of my grandparents ' threat to tear those roots right out from under me . | [
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we savor our incredible meal , the fine wine , each other 's company-and of course the delightful presence of roxie . | [
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it 's shaping up to be a pretty good first day at the new job after all , even if this is strictly extra-curricular . | [
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the evening wears on , a couple more glasses of wine are poured , and emerson even manages to find a record we can both agree on-iron and wine , an old favorite of ours . | [
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we retire back into the loft , and i meander about the space at my leisure , taking in all the little details that make his house a home . | [
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`` i 'd offer you a grand tour , '' emerson says , watching me from the center of the room , `` but this is pretty much it . '' | [
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`` what about in there ? '' | [
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i ask , nodding toward the bedroom door . | [
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`` you trying to get a peek at my bedroom , rowan ? '' | [
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he asks , grinning . | [
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`` maybe i am , sawyer , '' i shrug , `` unless you 're afraid of me finding your playboy stash or something . '' | [
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`` this from the girl who kept a vibrator within arm 's length through her entire adolescence , '' he laughs , walking toward his room . | [
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`` i have needs , ok ? '' | [
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i exclaim , feigning defensiveness . | [
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`` is that so ? '' | [
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he replies , his voice going raspy around the edges as he pauses in the doorway of his bedroom . | [
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the delicious wine has lowered both of our inhibitions , and my body comes alive as i feel us transitioning into the more ... sensual part of the evening . | [
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we have n't mentioned our steamy kiss from this weekend , yet , but we seem to be coming back around to right where we left off . | [
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emerson 's blue eyes flash with desire as i step up to him , resting a hand on the firm panes of his chest . | [
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`` you know about my needs better than anyone , '' i say softly , trailing my fingers down his cut , defined torso . | [
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`` mmm . | [
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we 'll just have to see what we can do about them , then , '' he murmurs , catching my wrist . | [
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my eyes go wide as he draws my hand to his full lips and takes the tip of my finger into his mouth . | [
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i feel his tongue brush against my fingertip , remember what it felt like to feel his mouth other places ... and break off into his room , chest pounding . | [
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it 's a small , simple space with high ceilings and a huge king bed front and center . | [
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a sleek dresser and wide window round out the space , and a few well-placed keepsakes make it feel like a sacred space . | [
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i trail my fingers along the dresser , setting down my drained glass of wine . | [
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i 'm just on the far edge of tipsy , and my cares are swirling away by the second . | [
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there are a few framed pictures on the dresser , and my stomach turns to see an old wedding photo . | [
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it is n't of our parents ' ridiculous ceremony , of course , but i do recognize a much-younger deb . | [
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this must be from her first wedding to emerson 's father , a man who looks remarkably like the one standing next to me now . | [
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deb looks so happy . | [
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healthy , even . | [
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it breaks my heart to think of what her life has become . | [
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i tear my eyes away from the old picture and notice that a second frame holds not a photograph , but a drawing . | [
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it only takes a split second for me to recognize it , and as soon as i do , i feel my hand fly to my lips . | [
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there , on emerson 's dresser , is the sketch of him i drew when we were kids , the one i gave to him on his eighteenth birthday . | [
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the drawing features him in half-profile , looking serious and sure . | [
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i worked on this piece for hours-days , even-before giving it to him in that seaside motel room . | [
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it 's been preserved perfectly , lovingly , and for a spell i 'm too moved to speak . | [
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two strong arms wrap around my waist from behind as i stare at the picture of teenage emerson , drawn by my very own hand . | [
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i clasp his hands where they rest against my body , letting my head lean back against his chest . | [
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`` you kept it , '' i whisper , turning my face toward his . | [
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`` of course , '' he murmurs , resting his cheek against the top of my head . | [
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`` that picture has traveled the world with me . | [
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i 've kept it in every home i 've ever lived in , from my little apartment in philly to my flat in london . | [
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every time i get to thinking that i do n't deserve my success , that i 'm just some punk kid who 's pulling one over on the rest of the world , i just look at this picture . | [
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1,
1
] |
it 's always reminded me that there 's someone in the world who thinks i 'm strong , and worthy . | [
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someone who loved me , once . '' | [
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`` loves you , '' i whisper , turning to face him , `` not loved . | [
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loves . | [
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1012,
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present tense . '' | [
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`` i thought i was supposed to be the teacher this week , '' he murmurs , running his hands down the sides of my body . | [
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] |
`` what are you doing giving me a grammar lesson ? '' | [
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`` oh , i think we both still have plenty to teach each other , emerson , '' i say , taking his scruffy , sculpted face in my hands . | [
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1010,
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] |
`` you mean it , then ? '' | [
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2009,
1010,
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1029,
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he asks , grabbing hold of my slender hips . | [
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5176,
1010,
9775,
2907,
1997,
2026,
10944,
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1012,
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] |
`` you ... you still ... ? '' | [
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`` i love you , emerson , '' i whisper , letting those blue eyes swallow me whole . | [
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] |
`` i always have . | [
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2031,
1012,
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] | [
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i always will . '' | [
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2467,
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1012,
1005,
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] | [
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`` thank god , '' he grins , pulling me to him , `` 'unrequited ' is n't a good shade on me . '' | [
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`` you mean ... '' i breathe . | [
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`` i love you too , abby , '' he says , `` but right now , i need you too much to waste another second talking about it . '' | [
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`` fine by me , '' i murmur . | [
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1036,
1036,
2986,
2011,
2033,
1010,
1005,
1005,
1045,
20227,
1012,
102
] | [
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] |
i throw my arms around emerson 's shoulders as he brings his lips to mine . | [
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5466,
2026,
2608,
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2002,
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he scoops me up into his arms as his powerful jaw works my mouth wide open . | [
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2015,
2033,
2039,
2046,
2010,
2608,
2004,
2010,
3928,
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] |
i clasp my ankles around his tapered waist , and he bears my weight as if it were nothing . | [
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23465,
2026,
15392,
2105,
2010,
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5596,
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] |
his tongue glides against mine , caressing it , as he spins me around in the air , laying me out flat across his king bed . | [
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2010,
4416,
21096,
2015,
2114,
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2002,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
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] |
he lowers his staggering body to mine , encompassing me , subsuming me . | [
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2002,
24950,
2010,
26233,
2303,
2000,
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1010,
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] |
i can feel his every muscle ripple as we move together , a tangle of limbs and lust . | [
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2514,
2010,
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6740,
24644,
2004,
2057,
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] |
i bury my fingers in his hair , letting my tongue sweep against his as his hands roam down the length of my body . | [
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] |