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`` i miss my mommy , '' she whispered as if it were an awful secret .
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`` oh , dear .
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i 'm so glad , '' victoria said , pulling the child closer to her .
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`` i know , sweetheart . ''
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`` you know ? ''
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the child asked , looking up into victoria 's face .
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`` how did you know ? ''
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victoria smiled through her own tears .
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`` arina there 's no way anyone could lose their mother and father and not feel sad , '' she said .
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`` but i 'm supposed to be strong , '' she said , laying her head against victoria 's chest .
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`` who said ? ''
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victoria asked carefully .
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if dharr or ms. mattingly had said that to her , she would absolutely contradict them .
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but if bajan had given her that admonition , then victoria knew she 'd have to step carefully .
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victoria did n't want to hurt the impression arina had of her brother 's strengths , but she did n't want the little girl to keep the hurt inside either .
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`` ms. mattingly said so , '' the small voice whispered .
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`` she said we have to be strong and keep on working at our studies so we can grow up to be smart leaders . ''
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victoria hoped the anger she felt for the governess did n't show on her face .
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she looked gently down at the small child in her arms and thought carefully about how victoria could ease the child 's burden .
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`` sometimes it is a good thing to cry , arina .
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being strong means revealing your feelings , '' she said .
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`` it means knowing that something is wrong and letting others help you , '' victoria said , sobbing herself now that arina was crying out desperately , her pain wracked body shaking with her grief .
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a moment later , bajan stood next to her bed .
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`` do you mean it ? ''
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he asked , fighting the tears that were threatening .
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`` but uncle dharr does n't reveal his feelings , '' bajan argued .
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victoria could see that the boy was trying valiantly to hold back his tears but she would n't let him .
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`` oh yes he does , '' she said .
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`` you just need to know how to read him , '' she said .
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victoria did n't tell him that she herself did n't know how to read their uncle .
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it was enough that the boy climbed immediately into bed with them and started crying .
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the two children cried for over an hour , neither wanting to talk , just to be held and let go of the pain they had been living with for almost seven months .
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eventually , they fell asleep , bajan 's hand holding onto his sister 's arm but his other wrapped around victoria 's waist .
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arina 's hand was holding onto victoria 's hand and both of hers were around each child .
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that was how dharr found them .
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he had been told by ms. mattingly that the children had disappeared and the whole palace was searching for them .
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some instinct had told dharr to look for victoria and he 'd find the children , but he had n't thought to look in her bed .
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now , seeing the three of them , sound asleep , his heart ached and he let out a sigh of relief .
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the children were safe and victoria was still here .
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dharr did n't analyze why it was so important that victoria was still within in the palace walls .
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he just left her suite , closing the door softly behind him .
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the summons came that afternoon .
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she 'd been spending time with the children , not letting ms. mattingly have them but simply playing with them in the play room and encouraging them to talk about their memories of their parents .
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victoria looked at the note written in dharr 's strong handwriting .
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it was simple and to the point .
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he asked her to meet him in his office at her earliest convenience .
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the odd thing was that he actually asked her to meet him .
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it was n't an order .
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victoria did n't like the nice tone .
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it was too patient .
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that just was n't like the dharr she had come to know she thought , holding the note in her hand while arina carried a baby doll over to her .
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what was he playing at ?
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she decided to go immediately .
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she did n't think she could stand the curiosity so she found a servant to watch over the children , then she left the school room and headed towards dharr 's offices .
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as soon as she arrived , she was waved into his office which was odd in itself .
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was n't he in meetings or needing to finish up whatever he was working on ?
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she was used to waiting for him , at least for a few minutes .
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this immediacy was odd .
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she entered and looked around , impressed despite herself .
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the office was furnished in dark , heavy furniture but because of the enormous size of the room , it did n't look cluttered .
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the whole room was two stories high with floor to ceiling windows on each end looking out onto a courtyard .
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his desk was the largest piece and was made of dark , polished wood .
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it sat in front of a long wall of shelves filled top to bottom in books .
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the remaining wall had the doors to the outer offices as well as other doors that were mysteriously closed .
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there were also large paintings of battles or portraits that were so perfectly rendered they had to be priceless .
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standing in the middle of all of this grandeur was dharr himself , looking more like a king than she 'd ever thought him to be .
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it was scary to think that she 'd dated the man for more than six weeks , had kissed him and touched him , fell in love with him and learned so much from him but during that whole time , she 'd never known he was ruler to ashir .
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now , looking at him in this amazing room , there could be no doubt about his role in the world .
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he was a ruler , born and bred .
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it showed with every mannerism and posture .
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how could she have missed all these things so many years ago ?
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because if she 'd realized he was a king at that time , she would have run the other way .
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she had n't wanted him to be anything other than a normal man .
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that meant that she was free to be with him .
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each time she 'd started to think he might be more than what he was letting on , she 'd dismissed the idea as too far fetched .
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but deep down , she had n't wanted to acknowledge that he was out of her league .
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`` good afternoon , '' he said , putting down the report he had been reading .
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`` are your rooms adequate ? ''
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this formal man standing before her was unfamiliar .
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`` yes .
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they are very nice , '' she replied , just as formally .
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why was he asking her this when she 'd been here for almost two weeks already ?
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something was up .
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she just could n't figure it out yet .
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`` good .
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how are the children ? ''
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he asked .
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this was familiar ground for her .
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she relaxed slightly and considered all the issues she 'd unraveled today .
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`` i think they are fine .
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i just left them in the school room . ''
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`` you do n't like ms. mattingly , do you ? ''
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he questioned .
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victoria hesitated for only a moment before replying , `` no .
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i think she is part of the problem . ''
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`` in what way ? ''
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he asked , waving her into a seat .
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victoria looked down and took one of the large , leather seats grouped around a coffee table .
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`` would you like some coffee ? ''
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he asked , lifting an elaborate silver coffee pot , prepared to pour her some .
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