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when it was all over , he rolled onto his back , taking her with him , still intimately connected .
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his hands dove into her hair and he stared up at the ceiling , his breathing still ragged as he considered all the ramifications of the past few minutes .
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`` dharr ? ''
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victoria asked , her head resting against his chest and her hand laying against his rapidly beating heart .
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`` is it always ... . '' she could n't find the words to describe what had just happened .
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`` no , '' he replied harshly .
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just thinking about her response had him growing hard again .
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her head came up and he rolled back over .
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`` no .
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it is n't like this normally , '' he grated out .
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a moment later , the whirlwind started again .
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this time , it was more intense , and victoria pushed her head back and forth against the sheets , the pleasure almost reaching the painful stage before she tumbled over the edge , once again crying out and holding onto dharr as the waves of her orgasm crashed over the two of them .
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victoria slept , unable to do anything else since her body was so replete .
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dharr 's love making was so thorough and complete , she had nothing left in her afterwards .
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dharr watched her , noting the dark circles under her eyes and the perfect rose tinge to her cheeks .
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she curled up against him , laying her head on his shoulder while her hands wrapped around his arm .
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it was as if she felt in sleep what he was currently feeling wide awake .
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he did n't want to lose her .
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with complete honesty , he knew that this was the reason he 'd come to her for help with his niece and nephew .
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there were probably hundreds of childhood experts he could have employed but he 'd gone back to her .
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he 'd never gotten her out of his mind after all these years .
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and he 'd wanted to finish what he 'd started with her , even if it meant he would n't be her first .
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after five years , he had acknowledged that he had n't cared .
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but now , seeing the evidence of her virginity on the sheets , he 'd obviously made a huge mistake five years ago .
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she 'd been pure and honest with him and he 'd tried to destroy her .
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he remembered the confused and hurt look in her face when he 'd stood up , callously straightening his tie as if he was completely impartial to what had just happened .
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walking out of her bedroom that morning had been one of the hardest things he 'd ever had to do in his life .
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and now , seeing her beautiful face relaxed in sleep , a sleep caused by her first experience with sex , he regretted it even more .
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dharr waited until he was sure she was asleep before slipping out of the bed .
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he left her sleeping , unable to endure the incredible pleasure of her sweet , warm body curled up next to his .
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he wanted desperately to kiss her awake , to make love to her once again .
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but he knew he needed to think , to come up with a plan to make it up to her for what he 'd done to her before .
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he also needed to put into motion what he 'd started before .
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he would never let her go again , he promised .
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he 'd show her all that he could offer her and somehow , he vowed , he 'd find a way to keep her in his life forever .
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chapter 10 victoria woke the following morning to bright sunlight streaming over her face .
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she stretched languorously , feeling happy and content .
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delirious , in fact , she thought as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling .
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then the memories of the night before came streaming back to her and victoria 's face started burning .
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looking around , she searched for dharr , wondering what he was thinking about her behavior from the night before .
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would he think she was wanton ?
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he must , she thought .
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since she had been , there was really nothing else the man could think of her .
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she was embarrassed but knew she 'd have to get the first morning contact with him over quickly .
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but all she found was a long , slim jewelry case where he should have been .
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with shaking fingers , victoria pulled the case closer to her , feeling a cold chill steal into her veins .
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what could this mean ?
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why in the world would he leave in the middle of the night ?
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even the case was a work of art , she thought , running her fingers over the soft , embossed leather .
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opening the box , she gasped , seeing the spectacular glittering diamond bracelet inside .
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`` how could he ! ''
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she said to the empty room , slapping the box closed and tossing it to the side as if it were some sort of serpent .
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the tears formed and immediately fell down her cheeks as his message came through .
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well , she 'd been wondering what he thought of her and now she knew .
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payment for services rendered , she thought , shaking her head in denial .
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last night had been so incredible , so passionate and she 'd allowed it !
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and he 'd left her , just as he would an alley prostitute , leaving payment on the bedside .
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oh !
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of all the arrogant , offensive evil things he could have done , this was the ultimate slap in the face .
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at least the last time he 'd touched her he 'd had the dignity to insult her to her face .
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he had n't even given her that much this time .
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she was obviously unworthy of his time now .
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oh , how she 'd lost herself in the moment last night and now , to find this awful message from him .
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it was worse than the last time .
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five years ago , he 'd said she was unworthy but she had n't understood his meaning .
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now , he leaves this awful bracelet that was probably worth a fortune but the message was loud and clear .
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she jumped out of the bed and showered as quickly as possible , wishing she could just leave and run away .
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she needed to lick her wounds and hide for a long time .
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she would just pack up and leave .
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he 'd done it to her the last time .
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why should n't she give him the same response ?
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if he thought so little of her , then she could give him the same courtesy back .
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what a fool she 'd been !
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she 'd just fallen into his arms , letting him touch her and kiss her .
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she felt filthy and as the hot water cascaded over her aching body , she scrubbed her arms and body , trying to rid herself of the memory of his touch .
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she hated him !
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she cried through the whole shower , scrubbing herself harder when the memory of how it felt when he 'd touched her would n't go away .
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pulling out her suitcase , she started throwing things in , not even bothering to fold them .
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jeans and tee shirts were piled up , underwear and socks came next and she just lifted them out of her drawer and stuffed them into the suitcase as fast as her arms would permit .
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she did n't have to be subjected to that kind of humiliation again .
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it was too much .
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but then arina and bajan came to mind .
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what would happen to all the progress she 'd made with them if yet another person disappeared on them ?
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they would be devastated .
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until she could transfer their feelings from her to dharr , then she just could n't leave them .
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that realization was devastating to her .
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she sat down on the bed , her shoulders shaking as the pain seeped into her body once again .
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she even hated to admit that her feelings for dharr were n't hatred , but were love .
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she loved him desperately .
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and this time , it was a mature love .
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she admired him for what he 'd done with his country and how he treated two , small , orphaned children .
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she loved the way he made her laugh , even when she wanted to be angry with him .
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but this time , she did n't have scott or jasmine to help her out .
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she was on her own .
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somehow , she 'd have to find the strength inside herself to keep him from crushing her again .
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pulling on a pair of jeans and a regular white tee-shirt , she grabbed the hated box and left her suite .
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she did n't even care that she did n't have makeup on .
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she was too angry and too determined to show him that she did n't care what his opinion of her was .
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she stopped the first servant she could find and asked about dharr 's whereabouts .
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if she were n't so angry , she would be amused by the expressions on each palace servant 's face .
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