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He threw his head back and cried out her name as he emptied himself into her. He held himself propped up over her, so he wouldn't squish her and the babies with his weight, as the stars cleared from his vision. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead onto his nose and dropped into her hair. |
He rolled onto his back and brought her with him so that he could snuggle up with her. "That was amazing!" he panted, "Was all of that true?" |
"Hmmm....yes," she said sleepily, trailing a finger down his chest. "There's more, but I was a little too distracted to get it all out." |
"Makes you wonder why people don't have more babies," Draco said idly, wrapping a curl around his finger. |
Hermione snorted, "I could think of several reasons why. I'm sure you remember the crying and waking up every two hours for feedings. The smelly diapers. It's exhausting. With Minerva, there were days where I felt like I didn't sleep a wink." |
Draco skimmed his hand down her back, "Weasley didn't help you." |
Hermione let loose a sharp bark of laughter, "Yeah, right. He pretty much made himself scarce if Minerva started crying. He was fine when she was a happy, gurgling baby. He would sit and coo over her for hours, but God-forbid the man change nappies or get spit-up on him. He wanted lots of kids, a big family just like his was growing up. As an only child, I wanted that too, but then I saw how much he wasn't willing to help me, so I told him I didn't want any more. Rose was a surprise, but Minerva was five then, so it was easier." |
"You know that's not going to happen with us, right?" Draco reassured her. |
"You'll make sure it doesn't if you don't want your balls hexed off," Hermione answered with a laugh, "I've seen how you are with Scorpius. That doesn't come from being a standoffish father. What was it like for you after he was born?" |
Draco stared up at the ceiling, thinking back to Scorpius" first year. "Wonderful," he started, "and awful. Being a single father to a newborn has a whole series of complications that can never be prepared for. Mother came to stay for the first four or five months until he was sleeping through the night. She and Tansy would help me. I didn't know what to do. I'd never been around babies, but I made them show me. He and I, we figured it out. He cried a lot at first. I think he could sense my grief and was grieving himself." |
Draco ran a hand through his hair. There were parts of Scorpius" early days that he hated thinking about. Things that scared him to this day and how the timely intervention of an angel had saved him from genuinely panicking about the welfare of his son. "He hated the formula. We were scared when he wouldn't take a bottle. We looked for wet nurses, but everyone just saw him as the son of a Death Eater." Draco clenched a fist at the thought of the needless cruelty those women had inflicted on his family. |
Draco took a deep shuddering breath and fingered a curl of Hermione's hair. Her hands traveled soothingly down his chest. "Mother took him with her on an errand one day, so that I could take a nap. I'd been up all night with him, walking the floor and trying to coax him to take the bottle. When they came back, he had a full belly and a week's supply of milk. Mother said she made arrangements with a lady that had enough milk to supply an army of babies. She refused to tell me who. She only told me that she was a perfectly nice lady and that I should be honored that she would help. I was, and I was grateful that someone would help us and I didn't press Mother about who it was because I didn't want the lady to stop." |
"He was so small," Hermione sighed, breaking him from his reverie. Then she stiffened beside him. "I'm sorry...I...I..." she stuttered and trailed off. |
"He was eight weeks early," Draco answered, then stopped, her words clicking in his head, "How did you know how small he was?" |
Hermione shifted against him. She looked up into his eyes with a wary, pleading look, "I'm sorry. I know I should've asked you for permission. He was just so hungry, and your mother was so desperate," Hermione said, trailing away, with a pleading look in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I should have asked you first," she whispered. |
Draco sat up, bringing her up with him, and searched her eyes. "You. It was you?" Hermione nodded. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I probably would have gotten down on my knees and kissed your feet for what you did. I would've sent a house elf to help you so that you weren't so exhausted. I would've given you anything you wanted." He'd wanted to know for years about the woman that had helped Scorpius. His mother always refused to tell him, saying she was respecting the lady's privacy. "Tell me everything. Tell me how it happened," he demanded, eager for answers. |
Hermione laced her fingers through his. "Well, you know your mother and I became friends about a year after the war was over. She came over to my house for tea and brought Scorpius. Minerva was asleep, and Ron was at Quidditch practice. She left him in his carrier and went to the restroom. He started crying. His cry, it was this thin, plaintive wail and I felt so bad for him, not having a mother, so I picked him up. He could smell the milk on me and he started rooting around and grunting." |
Draco let his gaze drift down from her pleading eyes. Pleading for him to understand. Begging for him not to be mad for not asking his permission to feed his son. Anger wasn't the emotion he was feeling now. |
She took a deep breath as she plunged on with her explanation. "I asked your mother if I could feed him and she practically burst into tears. So I fed him and while I did, she told me that he didn't like the formula and would only take it when he was starving. She told me that you weren't having any success in finding a wet nurse. He was so small, but he was strong. He didn't have any trouble latching on. We talked about him taking my extra milk. She tried to pay me but I wouldn't have it. I didn't need the money and I wanted to give him a little mothering like I imagined his mother would. I felt bad for him and her," she pushed his chin up to meet her gaze and he could see the sorrow there, "and you." |
He kept his gaze on her eyes as she continued. "She started bringing him with her every week when Ron was away to pick up more milk. He didn't really like my friendship with your mother and he would've been livid to find out that I was nursing your son." Draco felt himself get angry at the mention of that git and that Hermione felt she had to hide what she was doing. She ran her hands along his jaw, making him relax the clenched muscles. Her eyes took on a faraway look as she continued, "He got so big and he was so adorable. He looked so much like you. He would smile so big whenever your mum brought him over and his little fists would wave in the air while he kicked his feet. I would play with him, tickle his little belly, sing him songs." |
She sighed and a tear slipped down her cheek. Draco reached forward and caught the tear on the end of his finger. "My milk started drying up when they were about six months old and I knew that I wouldn't be able to feed them anymore. It broke my heart that I was going to have to stop, but I knew that I would have to eventually. I asked your mother not to tell you. I didn't want you to feel like you owed me for anything. I wanted to help and it was enough for me to know that Scorpius was happy and healthy." |
She shivered and Draco drew the sheet up around her and ran his hands up and down her arms to warm her up. "Your mother and I agreed that since I didn't want you to know, it would be best if I didn't keep seeing Scorpius after he stopped taking my milk. She said she was pushing it enough by not telling you who was feeding Scorpius. She didn't feel right about sneaking him away. I have a picture of us. Your mum took it one day without me knowing and gave it to me the last time I fed him." |
Draco sat staring at her. Emotions flooded through him too quickly for him to latch onto just one. Wonder at her that she would take the child of her childhood enemy to her breast. Gratitude. Profound, overwhelming love for this woman that had been a part of his life for so long without him even knowing. He wondered how she'd managed to keep the secret this long and how many other secrets she and his mother had. |
"Draco, say something," Hermione said nervously. |
Draco startled and said the first thing that popped into his head, "Can I see the picture?" he asked, suddenly very curious to see his son being nursed by his love. |
"Umm...sure," she said. She reached over and opened the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a slim black leather journal. She thumbed through it until she found the page she was looking for and handed the journal to him. Affixed to the page was a picture and below that was a curl of white-blond hair wrapped with a pale blue bow. |
Draco stared mesmerized by the photo. Hermione was sitting in a rocking chair in front of a window. She was smiling down at his son and saying something to him while she stroked his head. His son's head and a blanket was thrown over one shoulder covered her so that she wasn't exposed to the camera. |
"Can I have a copy?" Draco asked in a choked whisper. |
Hermione grabbed a wand and silently cast a spell to copy the photograph. Draco took it from her and set it in the corner of a photograph of Scorpius and him on a broom together when Scorpius was five. |
He lay down on his side and drew Hermione down beside him. He hid his face in her hair, breathing in her scent, as he tried to control the surge of emotions coursing through him. |
"Are you okay?" she asked into the darkness. |
He snuggled closer to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "You have no idea how much it means that you would do that for us, for him." |
"It wasn't any great sacrifice, Draco. I was happy to do it. I had more than enough for Minerva and I wasn't going to let a baby starve, no matter their parent's former allegiances or past grievances," Hermione said, twining her fingers with his and drawing his arm up to rest between her breasts. |
He cradled her back into his chest as if bringing her closer would impart how much it meant to him. "It meant a lot to us, to me," he started, impassioned, "You wouldn't believe how many people were willing to let him starve because he was the son of a Death Eater. It was awful begging for their help, offering exorbitant amounts of money, and having them sneer at me. I was willing to do it, sacrifice my pride to them for the sake of my son. Some were kinder than others, saying their family wouldn't like it, but no one that St. Mungo's sent to us wanted to help. I would've paid any amount of money. I would've given them anything they wanted. That you did it without asking anything in return, no money, no acknowledgment, you can never understand how much it means to me that you did that. I could never hope to repay you for that." |
"There's nothing to repay. I was happy to do it. It saddened me to have to let Scorpius go, so I'm glad I get to have him back," she said with a sleepy yawn. |
Draco felt her breathing even out and her body relax against him as she sunk into sleep. He lay awake holding her, staring off into the dark of the room for a long time afterward. Thoughts of things that might have been swirling around in his head. |
What if... What if she'd let his mother tell him who was feeding his son? What would've happened if he'd gotten to bring his son to her rather than his mother acting as the intermediary? Would she have stopped taking Scorpius to her breast and simply given him the bottles? Would she have left Weasley sooner if they'd been around each other more, especially then when they had his son to connect them? |
Finding Hermione |
By: eBookDragon |
The Hunger for a Mother's Love |
Draco and Hermione took Minerva back to school that Saturday so that she could get used to being back before she had to return to classes and so that her classmates could get used to her new look and new parentage. The headmistress and Slytherin Head were surprised to be re-introduced to Minerva Granger-Malfoy. |
Draco and Hermione had to tell them both the spells used to for the magical adoption. McGonagall questioned them both closely, seemingly very curious about everything they had done and seen during the adoption ritual. Draco left Hermione and Minerva talking with the two teachers and went in search of his son. |
He found Scorpius in the Quidditch stands watching the Slytherin Quidditch practice and debating strategy with James and Drake. The three boys jumped up when they caught sight of Draco climbing the steps into the stands. |
"Is Minerva back?" Scorpius asked before he'd even said hello to Draco. |
"Hello to you too," Draco joked, "Yes, she's back. She's talking with the headmistress and Professor Carrow right now." Draco looked seriously at his son, "Let's take a walk, son. There are some things we need to talk about." |
Drake and James took off ahead of Draco and Scorpius in the direction of the castle. Draco walked aimlessly with Scorpius around the large open field outside of the Quidditch stadium. He pulled the picture of Hermione and Scorpius out of his pocket and stared at it while they walked, trying to figure out where to start. |
"Umm...dad?" Scorpius said hesitantly. |
"Hmm?" Draco asked, still distracted. |
"Nana isn't going to be happy you stole her picture," Scorpius said. |
Draco stopped in his tracks and stared down at his son. "You've seen this photo before?" he asked. |
He hadn't expected Scorpius to recognize the picture. Hadn't intended for his son to know yet about Hermione's role in his infancy. How much did his son really know though? |
"Nana says it's her favorite. She keeps it on her nightstand so it's the first thing she sees when she wakes up," Scorpius answered. |
"What do you know of the photo?" Draco asked curiously. |
His mother and Scorpius obviously had talked about the photo, but when Scorpius met Hermione for the first time, he hadn't seemed like he'd remembered her or knew of her role in his infancy. |
Scorpius shrugged, "I asked Nana once when I was little if it was a picture of me and my mum. She told me it was a picture of me with a powerful witch. She used to tell me stories about her when I would stay the night with her." |
Draco was curious that Hermione had featured in the stories his mother told to his son, "What kind of stories did she tell you about her?" |
Scorpius sent his father a questioning look but answered him, "She told me the witch once robbed Gringott's and escaped on the back of a dragon." |
Draco couldn't help but laugh. Of course, that would be the story his son remembered first. What boy wouldn't be fascinated by stories of bank robberies and daring escapes? |
"What about the picture? Was there a story your nana told you that went with the picture?" Draco asked. Scorpius kicked a stone and nodded. "Will you tell it to me, please?" |
Draco kept his eyes on the photo as they continued to stroll around. Scorpius started the story hesitantly as if he were having difficulty remembering how the story went. "About a week after I was born, Nana took me to visit the powerful witch. Nana said the witch was a hero to our people. She was very smart and helped the savior defeat the Evil One. Nana took me to visit her one day because I was hungry but couldn't eat. She thought the witch might know how to help." |
Draco wondered how many stories his mother told Scorpius about Harry. How had Scorpius not put together that James" father was the savior in his grandmother's stories? The stories seemed old though considering how much Scorpius paused to think about the way the story went. |
Scorpius furrowed his brow as he tried to remember the story, "The witch picked me up and held me. She noticed at once how hungry I was and how strongly I resisted drinking the formula. She said I wouldn't drink because missed my mum and my mum missed me. The witch said that I needed a surrogate mother to help my mum give me the love my mother wanted me to have since she died before she could bestow her mother's love on me. My mother's love would flow through the witch and into me, making me strong." |
Scorpius took his wand out of his robes and started twirling it in his hands, "Nana told her that they weren't able to find a worthy witch since my mum's love was so great. The witch said she knew how powerful a mother's love could be and it would take a powerful witch to be able to help my mother bestow it on me. The witch said that because my mum loved me so much, I was destined to grow up to be a great wizard and help bring prosperity to our people." |
"The witch said that she would help my mother bestow her love on me, so that I could grow strong and fulfill my destiny, but that it would take time because my mother's love was so powerful. One day when I was about six months old, she told Nana that my mother's love had been fully bestowed and that my mum and I were both able to be at peace even though we were separated." |
Draco wondered how he'd never known that his mother told his son stories of Hermione. His mother had always weaved stories, ever since Draco could remember. Though his mother had never told him stories about Muggle-born witches. His mother was a mark of how much times have changed, that she would seek out a friendship with Hermione, take his son to her for sustenance, and wholeheartedly support his relationship with her. These things wouldn't have happened before the war. |
"How long has it been since your nana told you these stories of the powerful witch?" Draco asked. |
"I don't know. A long time I think. You're going to give the picture back to Nana, right?" Scorpius asked. |
"This isn't your nana's picture," Draco answered. At Scorpius" curious expression, Draco handed the picture to his son. "Look at the witch and tell me if she looks familiar to you." |
Scorpius took the picture from Draco and examined it closely. Draco watched his son's face change from curiosity to confusion as he slowly realized who the lady in the picture was. "That's Hermione," Scorpius exclaimed in disbelief, "Nana was telling me stories about Hermione. Do you think they're all true?" |
"I'm not sure. Maybe you should write your nana and ask her or you can ask Hermione," Draco said. |
"It was Hermione all that time," Scorpius said in wonder, "Hermione gave me my mother's love." |
Draco wondered who had thought the story up, his mother or his soulmate. Draco had wanted to keep Astoria's memory alive for Scorpius. He'd never realized how much his mother had done to acquiesce to his wishes. Daphne told Scorpius stories of Astoria growing up and Draco told him stories of their short time together. His mother seemed to have her own way of keeping Astoria's memory alive for his son. |
Draco hugged his son to him. Scorpius distractedly returned his hug as he continued to stare down at the picture. Draco nudged his son's chin up and met his son's overwhelmed ice gray eyes, "I must tell you something. You gained a sister over the last couple of days. I adopted Minerva. The spell we performed to seal the adoption changed how she looks. Minerva has the Malfoy blood now." |
Confusion clouded his son's eyes, "I thought you said it couldn't be done." |
Draco gave Scorpius a self-deprecating smile, "Hermione and your grandmother are loads smarter than me. They found a spell that made it possible. I hope you don't mind that I didn't ask you first." |
Scorpius shook his head eagerly, "I don't mind. You know how I feel about it. Did it make Minerva better?" |
Draco resumed their circuitous walk toward the castle. The other inhabitants were starting to throw curious looks their way. "It's helped some, yes. It didn't change her memories of what happened, but I think she's able to accept her part in it a little better. You'll keep an eye on her?" |
Scorpius puffed up indignantly, "She's my sister," and Draco supposed that was all the answer he needed. "What about Rose? Is she a Malfoy now as well?" |
Draco draped an arm over his son's shoulders, barely resisting the urge to ruffle his hair. "No. She's still a Weasley. Adopting Minerva seemed to be the only way to help her move past it. Rose wasn't affected the same way Minerva was. She's still young enough to believe people like Aunt Luna when they say everything's going to be okay." |
Scorpius looked up curiously at him, "Won't it be weird for her if she's the only one?" |
"She can decide when she's older. Like you said, her last name doesn't change how we feel about her," Draco paused and squeezed his son's shoulder. He was suddenly nervous passing on the last bit of information he had for his son. Scorpius admitted to being jealous of Rose at first. How was he going to feel about the twins? If he didn't tell him now though, Minerva would. "There's one more thing I need to tell you before we head back. When we did the spell so that I could adopt Minerva, we inadvertently found out that Hermione is expecting twins." |
"So you have to ask her to marry you now right? She's going to be my mum?" His son asked the questions so excitedly he was practically bouncing under Draco's arm. |
Draco took in his son's eager expression. Not quite the reaction he was expecting. His son had completely bypassed impending siblings and went back to Hermione. |
Draco hid the smile that threatened to bust out with a serious expression, "Can I give you a little advice about witches? Don't ever ask one to marry you just because she's pregnant. They don't like that." |
Curiously, his son's hackles started to rise. He stopped walking and pulled himself from Draco's embrace. Scorpius clenched his fists and addressed Draco heatedly. "But Nana said that if I ever got a witch pregnant outside of wedlock, she'd hex me down the aisle herself. Nana will hex you when she finds out," Scorpius said in a tone that made Draco think Scorpius was thinking about doing a little hexing himself. |
Draco quirked an imperious eyebrow at his son as he stared down at him. "Nana already knows, but I'm sure she has a plethora of hexes ready for me if I take too long." |
Scorpius mirrored his father's expression. The only thing that gave away Scorpius" nerves was the slight twitching of his wand in his hand. It was the most Scorpius had ever challenged him. He found himself oddly proud. "So that means you will ask her and soon?" |
Draco furrowed his brow as he looked down at his son, "Why are you pushing this so hard?" |
Scorpius looked at him with an exasperated sigh, "I told you I want a mum. And I want Hermione to be my mum. She's already been my surrogate mum. And I think my birth mother would be okay with it." |
He was sure Astoria would have approved of Hermione as a mother for her child. "You know you don't have to wait for us to get married. I bet if you ask her, she would be happy to be your mum right now." |
"Shouldn't I get her a present first or something?" Scorpius asked, looked suddenly unsure of himself. |
Draco pointed over to the rose bushes that lined the walls outside the library. "If you really want to get her something, go pick a flower. Sincerity means more than presents." |
Scorpius rushed over to the rose bushes and took an inordinate amount of time choosing a bloom for Hermione. Draco was starting to get impatient and about to walk over and pull his son away when Scorpius turned and came back to him carrying not one bloom as Draco had intended, but ever the Malfoy he came back with six pink and white roses. Draco handed his son a handkerchief to wrap around the stems. |
They made their way back inside the castle and started the trek back to the headmistress" office. Up stairs and down corridors, Draco and Scorpius made the familiar trek to the office in relative silence. He could feel the excitement and nervousness emanating off his son. |
At the stone gargoyle entrance, Scorpius hung back reluctantly. Draco turned to him and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "I...I..." Scorpius stammered, then took a deep breath, "Who's up there?" |
Draco placed a calming hand on his son's shoulder and answered, "Professors McGonagall and Carrow, Hermione and Minerva, I suppose." |
"I don't know if I can do this," Scorpius said nervously. |
Wanting to make it a little easier for Scorpius, Draco offered, "Why don't you come up and wait in the outer office and I'll have Hermione come out so you can talk to her?" |
Scorpius visibly melted in relief and followed Draco up the moving staircase. Draco left him waiting outside the oak door to the headmistress" office. Draco went inside and found the two professors and Hermione seated around a low table taking tea and talking. A very bored looking Minerva was draped across the arm of the sofa her mother was seated on, gazing at the door with a glazed look in her eye. She seemed to reanimate herself as she saw Draco walk in. The three ladies noticed her movement and turned to look at him. |
"Scorpius would like to talk to you," Draco said by way of greeting to Hermione. |
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